Out Front's July 18 issue by OUT FRONT Magazine

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

JULY 18 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

VOL. XXXVI • ISSUE #9 • JULY 18, 2012

Contents

COLUMNS AND DEPARTMENTS

COVER STORY: “In my eyes, lesbians and bi queer women and transgender variant folks are – and always have been – at the forefront of the most creative and revolutionary queer and feminist activism.” – Activist Elisabeth Long

FOCUS 6 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 7 SPEAKOUT 10 PANEL VOICES 13 @NICGARCIA 14 OUT IN COLORADO BODY AND MIND 17 BEAUTY 21 FAITH & SPIRIT SOCIAL 24 FOOD FOR THOUGHT 26 HIGH SOCIETY 29 ON THE SCENE WITH CHARLES 31 BAR TAB TRAVEL & SHOPPING 36 TRAVEL 38 QRAVE LIVING 43 FASHION 45 MUSIC 52 SEXUALITY

“I’ve worked a long time in Denver to establish who I am and what I do, and I don’t want to give that up right away and start over again.” – Joshua Novak

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JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 Fax: 303-325-2642 Email: info@outfrontonline.com Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO Out Front Colorado is published by Transformation Communications Group, LLC, a Colorado limited liability corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. PHIL PRICE / Founder, 1954-1993 JERRY CUNNINGHAM / Publisher Email: Jerry@outfrontonline.com J.C. MCDONALD / Vice President / Director of Circulation Email: JC@outfrontonline.com NIC GARCIA / Associate Publisher Email: Nic@outfrontonline.com

EDITORIAL JEFF JACKSON SWAIM / Editor-in-Chief / Creative Director Email: Jeff@outfrontonline.com HOLLY HATCH / Executive Editor Email: Holly@outfrontonline.com MATTHEW PIZZUTI / Junior Editor Email: Matt@outfrontonline.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Brent Heinze, Maya Salam, Misty Milioto, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, Scott McGlothlen, Jeff Steen, Josiah Hesse, Gary Kramer, Mike Yost, Michael Pearson, Ashley Trego, Nuclia Waste, David Marlowe, Steve Cruz, Chris Azzopardi, Christine Mcmanus, Shanna Katz, Max Oliver, Amy Lynn O’Connell, Jonathan McGrew, Jasmine Peters. EDITORIAL INTERNS: Terrell Wallin, Kelsey Lindsey, Jacob Roe

A RT SARA DECKER / Art Director Email: Sara@outfrontonline.com CRYSTAL HATCH / Freelance Designer CHARLES BROSHOUS / Photographer

SALES RYAN CROSS / Senior Marketing Executive Email: Ryan@outfrontonline.com

DISTRIBUTION: Out Front Colorado’s print publication is available semimonthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front Colorado may be purchased for $2.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front Colorado ofﬁces located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front Colorado is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front Colorado, take more than one copy of Out Front Colorado. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution. COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY: Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT COLORADO, its staff or advertisers.

JULY 18 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

FROM THE EDITOR

LGBT people and feminists have the same dream

In early 2008, the nation was embroiled in an epic political battle. It wasn’t between Democrats and Republicans, nor between the White House and Congress – though four years later it’s hard to imagine the country divided along any other lines. During the 2008 presidential primary season, Democrats had already caught the whiff of victory, confident it was their race to lose after eight years of President Bush. The real contest was between Democrats over what kind of history would be made that year: Whether the party’s nominee would be Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama.

anomaly since Colorado’s civil unions bill failed in 2012. But we Senator Clinton and Senator Obama campaigned on can probably all agree, no mater our politics, that it failed in a strikingly similar policies – at least compared to how much rather unusual way – and GOP legislators who crossed party those policies change and compromise after a candidate gets lines to support it were disproportionately women. elected. On LGBT rights, the platforms were almost identical. In a world where women have been the LGBT movement’s For the average voter, there was little beyond speculation as most crucial allies, it’s ironic that so much of the LGBT movement, to how a President Hillary Clinton or President Obama would media and culture have been populated by men’s issues and male govern differently. Yet supporters of each candidate were faces and leaders. It’s not clear that it’s changing; we do our best passionate, as if the whole world was at stake. in Out Front to represent everyone, but across the nation and in What was at stake were competing descriptions of America. gay bars and events here in Denver, men still seem to have more One candidate touted her credentials and ready-for-battle expeprominence, and certainly more venues. The older I get, the more rience, campaigned that she had rightfully earned the chance I seem to encounter segregated spaces of primarily gay men. The to “shatter the glass ceiling” – to be the first woman president feminist movement, on the other hand, has moved towards inand turn a man’s country into a country of equal opportunity. cluding LGBT issues in its coalition, or even its core agenda – this The other candidate touted transcendent change, his speeches issue’s cover story is all about that. If so many feminists work for seeming to re-write the American narrative altogether: Not a pro-gay causes, why aren’t more gay people feminists? white man’s nation that had gradually accommodated women, When we’re young, many of us intuitively understand that immigrants, people of color and LGBT people, as we often women are our allies, and the stereotypical impression is freperceive our history – but a nation that has always been women, Matthew Pizzuti quently true that gay boys have more female friends. When immigrants, people of color and LGBT people, fighting for Ameriwe get older and become part of gay culture, it often seems ca’s promised recognition, equality and opportunity. Most of the young people I knew were Obama supporters, but a majority of the to flip – gays and lesbians drift into separate worlds and sometimes treat the gay people I knew – young and old alike – were passionately behind Clinton. Without other as an annoyance. Yet anti-gay prejudice and sexism come from the same root cause: The idea that context that would be strange; Obama’s language of transformation spoke straight to the heart of being in a marginalized group. Both candidates, one black, the other a person’s gender determines her or his roles. In the same way that sexism has told female, struck a blow to the status-quo. But there’s a simpler reason the idea of a women to “act like women” – which has meant having a husband, socializing only Clinton presidency was exciting so many LGBT people: When we were threatened with other women, worrying about their bodies, earning less, working more and or bullied growing up, most of the time the person who got our backs was a woman. only in certain careers – it has told gay men to “act like men,” to find a masculine Women have been our defenders and allies, our best friends, our most pro-gay job, hang out with men and find a wife, and that if they are effeminate then they politicians and our celebrity icons who embraced and played up their gay fans when are annoying, at the very least unattractive, to someone else interested in men. It male celebrities wouldn’t. In some ways the broader culture set that up to happen; has told trans people to act like the gender they were assigned at birth rather than women are taught to be conciliatory and accommodating, men are taught to draw the the way they understand themselves to be. It has told us that “children need both a line. (How many of us grew up with a mother who’d scold: “Just wait till your father mother and a father,” as if a woman wouldn’t be able to fix her daughter’s bicycle comes home!”) To a woman with gay friends, people would say, “well of course.” To or a man wouldn’t be able to show his son how to love. Some people think homophobia is rooted in a straight person’s “ick factor” a man with gay friends, they’d think it’s odd and speculate he must be gay himself. Women in power have historically been a good sign for LGBT rights. A 2011 imagining two men or two women having sex. That may be partly true, but why, analysis by the Midwest Political Science Association found that an above- then, are women ahead of the curve, and why are anti-gay and anti-feminist average percentage of women in a state’s legislature gives a stronger boost to groups so often the same people? Whatever the root of prejudice is, the same bills for same-sex relationship recognition than does a Democratic majority truth is there: A straight woman’s interests, along with those of trans people, alone. Even among legislatures that were already less unequal, the higher bisexuals, lesbians and gays, are all aligned. All of us share a vision – a world the share of women’s representation, the better for LGBT rights. Vermont, where our lives are not scripted by the body we were born with. A world where which has been a leader in women’s representation, was the first state to pass we are unjudged and unvictimized for defying arbitrary expectations – so that we can be free to love who we love, live what we choose, and be who we are. ] marriage equality on the legislature’s own initiative. Currently it’s Colorado’s legislature, with 40 percent women, that ranks the highest in the nation for women’s representation, and on first glance seems an Reach junior editor Matthew Pizzuti by email at matt@outfrontonline.com.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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SPEAKOUT

Go West young gay

continue my education and have networked When early pioneers moved West they laid my way around the state. My life has moved claim to abundant land and natural reWest, and I am claiming a larger stake daily. sources. Many sought riches like gold while I commute to Denver almost weekly to others desired to settle in the more temperate attend services at St. Paul United Methodist and climates of the Rockies. Buddhist Christian Interspiritual Church. I am a When I moved to Colorado two years ago, I graduate student at the University of Colorado, sought opportunities that I couldn’t find in the Colorado Springs. Now that I have settled into South. Being raised in Georgia, I found it diffia routine I’d like to start making a mark on cult to find an identity. After I graduated from Colorado. Its time I step even further outside of college in 2009, I was unable to secure gainful my comfort zone and seek ways to build lasting employment. I moved to Colorado, thinking a relationships with the LGBT community and change in environment would do me good. help organizations achieve their mission of proAs a gay man it was difficult to come out to moting and ensuring equality for all. my family in Georgia. It would be no easier in Ryan Townsend I’m a communicator at heart. I want to use my new home, Colorado Springs, a so-called my voice, my unique voice, to speak for and Christian mecca on Colorado’s Front Range – so I was told. But faced with the decision to remain in the oppressively- build up the people who daily bear the burdensome task of fighting humid South or try my luck in the Centennial State, I chose change. for equality. Leave it to me to be honest and diplomatic, but give Growing up I had always experienced some sort of inner-con- me an outlet to do so. Being in the Springs, I am outside the realm flict. Coming to terms with my sexuality proved difficult in my of unique resources available in Denver. And I am further isolated home state because I took the opinions of others much too serious- still by my insistence to remain true to my faith. As I struggle to work out my purpose for the rest of my time in Colorado, I hope ly, such that I was evading my own happiness. I chose Colorado because my father lives here. He welcomed you’ll call on me if needed. ] me with open arms, having lived many years without seeing me. Today, my father is no happier with my sexuality than the Ryan Townsend is an MBA student at UCCS. A former dissenting family members in the East – but Dad has always television news photographer, Ryan is studying to obtain CPA been more tolerant. I have gained a new family of friends in licensure and work in media. Ryan is a Twitter enthusiast and both Colorado Springs and Denver. I have obtained grants to can be followed @ARyanTownsend.

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SPEAKOUT We want to hear from you, the diverse voices of the LGBT community. Please share your stories with us so that you have the opportunity to drive the conversation. Email your 500 word essay to speakout@outfront online.com.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

FYI

Anderson

Amando Montano,

goes public about his

with ties to Colorado,

Cooper

gay journalist

found dead sexuality in Mexico City Anderson Cooper has, for the first time, publicly announced that he’s gay. In a letter to The Daily Beast’s Andrew Sullivan, Cooper wrote: “The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud. I have always been very open and honest about this part of my life with my friends, my family, and my colleagues. In a perfect world, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business, but I do think there is value in standing up and being counted. I’m not an activist, but I am a human being and I don’t give that up by being a journalist.” ]

Armando Montano, an openly gay apprentice journalist working as a summer intern for the Associated Press in Mexico City, was found dead early Saturday, June 30. He was 22 years old. Montano’s body was found in the elevator shaft of an apartment building near where he was living in the capital’s Condesa neighborhood. The circumstances of his death are being investigated by Mexico City’s law enforcement officials. AP staffers, on hearing of the popular young reporter’s untimely death, told colleagues, “He absolutely loved journalism and was soaking up everything he could. In his short time with the AP, he won his way into everyone’s hearts with his hard work, his effervescence and his love of the profession.” “Armando was a smart, joyful, hardworking and talented young man,” said Marjorie Miller, AP’s Latin America editor based in Mexico City. Montano is survived by his parents, Diane Alters and Mario Montano, both of whom teach at Colorado College in Colorado Springs, Colo. ]

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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LGBT rally in St. Petersburg

permitted despite

gay propaganda ban Photo courtesy of RiaNovosti The St. Petersburg City hall approved an LGBT protest march and rally, which is the first approved event in support of Russia’s LGBT community, RIA Novosti reported. The approval came as a surprise to many because of a law that went into effect on March 11 prohibiting “propaganda of homosexuality and pedophilia to minors” in parts of Russia. The July 7 event limited attendance to 1,000 participants. The Gay Propaganda Law, as it has been nicknamed, imposes fines of $16,000 for individuals and $160,000 for legal entities that promote LGBT practices to minors. However, the rally was allowed to happen because it is intended “to attract the attention of the public and the authorities to violations of civil rights of LGBT community and to the need to pass legislation prohibiting discrimination over sexual orientation,” according to the event application. The law in place also prohibits gay pride events from taking place in St. Petersburg. The Russian Orthodox Church is a strong supporter of the law, but Russian LGBT groups are asking for support from the West against the law. ]

NEWS

National Campaign to “Queer the Vote” targets turnout By Michael Yost

In a heated election season, organizations from around the country are honing in on swing states like Colorado in hopes of tipping the scales. But when it comes to LGBT issues, the key may be turnout as much as persuasion; the demographic with some of the highest rates of support for LGBT rights – young voters – is the age bracket that’s the least likely to show up on Election Day. Turnout is a central mission of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s Queer The Vote campaign, which urges LGBT people and allies to register to vote and educate themselves and others on candidates and ballot initiatives that will appear in the November elections. “Coloradans are experiencing a roller coaster this year in seeking relationship recognition through civil unions,” said Rea Carey, Executive Director of the The Task Force and a Colorado native. The passage of civil unions next year may hinge on who is elected to control the Colorado House. “We have candidates who are LGBT friendly and those who aren’t,” Carey said, adding that The Task Force is a non-partisan organization. “It matters very much who is elected to public office and whether or not they consider LGBT constituents on an equal playing field as the rest of their constituents.” Founded in 1973, The Task Force has been working to establish social, racial and economic justice for the LGBT community and its allies. Queer the Vote is the latest extension of that mission, Carey said. “Our purpose is to build the political power of the LGBT community from the ground up,” she said. Carey outlined a number of ballot initiatives that have the potential to make 2012 a historical year for the LGBT community: Maine has an initiative that would allow same-sex couples to receive a marriage license — the only state in the country with such an initiative this year. A proposed constitutional amendment on the ballot in Minnesota would ban same-sex marriage, similar to Colorado’s Amendment 43 defining marriage between a man and a woman in 2006. Maryland and Washington have ballot measures that could affirm or overturn legislation enacted by state legislatures to grant same-sex marriage. “The opposition does not respect our families,” Carey said. “Queer the Vote is really about asking LGBT people and our allies to stand up and let their voice be heard through their vote.” Carey emphasized that Queer the Vote doesn’t limit efforts to state-level participation. For example, Colorado is already one of only 15 states that offers protection against employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, but nationwide protections are still lacking, Carey said. “We do not have a federal law that protects people in employment,” said Carey, “which means there are hundreds of thousands of people going to work every day terrified that their boss is going to find out they’re gay.” “If people have friends or family members in other states, I encourage them to

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reach out and say: We stand with you. Please vote on Election Day.” According to the U.S. Census Bureau, only 64 percent of national eligible voters went to the polls in 2008 and only 49 percent of eligible voters the ages of 18 and 24 turned out to vote that year. Colorado’s voter turnout was higher than the national average, at 68 percent, but that means there were still approximately 560,000 registered voters in Colorado who remained inactive in the 2008 election. In addition, of the 30 million eligible Americans who didn’t register, 48 percent of those stated they were not interested or don’t want to be involved with the election process. Stacey Long, Director of Public Policy and Governmental Affairs for The Task Force, reacted to the ambivalence of some voters. “If I sit this one out, who knows the consequences of not having my voice be heard,” Long said. “You have more influence when you’re at the table and when you exercise your right then when you don’t. We can’t operate in a vacuum. Our community has just as much at stake – your vote is powerful.” Long encourages everyone to go to the The Task Force website and take the pledge to vote. The site offers links to register along with resources for individuals to educate themselves on candidates, ballot initiatives, and voter guidelines. “We want to make sure people take the time to check and see what the guidelines are,” said Long, “so they know they’ve got proper ID, that it is current and not expired.” Long put an emphasis on access to the polls, because of the 15 million Americans registered to vote in 2008 who did not go to the polls, 11 percent stated they didn’t vote because of registration problems, the polls being too far away, or transportation problems. “There are a lot of efforts, at the state level mainly, to put barriers up so people have even a tougher time getting to the polls,” said Long. “Some of the things that really benefited certain vulnerable communities are actually being rolled back.” Carey commented on the lawmakers who implement policies which make it more difficult for citizens to vote. “The very core issue for our community is one of voice and visibility,” said Carey. “We have to stand up and meet that challenge and show them they’re wrong. Our lives do count, and our voice counts.” ] Take the pledge to vote at http://queerthevote.org. For information on Colorado candidates, initiatives, and voter guidelines, visit http://sos.state.co.us/pubs/elec tions. Have questions about voter ID requirements? Call 1-886-OUT-VOTE or visit http://866ourvote.org.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

VOICES: PANEL

Does LGBT media and culture put

too much emphasis on alcohol?

Brandé Micheau

Michael Carr

Jen LaBarbera

LGBT media and culture puts far too much emphasis on alcohol and the activities that are associated with alcohol. The activities and ills that come as a result of dependence or focus on alcohol are not positive, and should therefore not be closely associated with the LGBT struggle for equality and acceptance. Instead of focusing on positive initiatives and political representation, the LGBT community has allowed itself to become branded with the image of partying and alcohol consumption. While I acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with the responsible consumption of alcohol, I do The activities make note of its misleading AND ILLS that effects; for an opcome as a result pressed people, the fleeting and of DEPENDENCE momentary lack of inhibition is or focus on simply chasing a shadow of the alcohol are NOT state of mind that we are truly POSITIVE ... fighting for. We are fighting for a better tomorrow where we can dance freely in the streets and openly enjoy the company of those we love, and it is my dream that we will be able to do so sober. ]

Probably, but let’s face it – a lot of us are pretty social, and alcohol is synonymous with being social. No offence to our straight allies, but they have a lot to learn when it comes to the culture of drinking. I’m pretty sure that the gays perfected the cocktail party. I don’t even think I socialized with co-workers over cocktails until I had my first gay boss! We drink to celebrate, we drink to mourn, we drink during the week, and of course on the weekend. We use alcohol to schmooze, to fundraise, to pitch, to flirt and to get stuff done we’d rather not do. I have to say, it’s really hard for me to prevent my eyes from rolling back in my head when I meet a fellow gay for the first time and one of the first things they is, “I’m not part I’m pretty sure say of the ‘gay scene.’” Of that THE GAYS course that’s not really code for alcohol abstinence, but it’s pretty PERFECTED much an admission the COCKTAIL that you are not going to see them at X Bar PARTY. on Friday, Tracks on Saturday or Wrangler on Sunday. Alcohol for these types is likely to be indulged in the company of straights, during a hike or on one of a number of sports fields. There might be too much emphasis on alcohol in our community, but at least we own it. We’re proud of it. We’ve ventured out of the closet, and aren’t willing to hide much of anything anymore, let alone drinking! ]

I don’t think that alcohol is any more prevalent in LGBT media and culture than in straight culture. Most of my straight 20- and 30-something friends rely on booze as a social lubricant just as much as my LGBT 20- and 30-something friends. But while our culture might not emphasize alcohol any more than the rest of the heterosexual world, we still have a duty to our community to question – or at least be aware of – the emphasis we place on alcohol. There are studies that estimate LGBT folks are up to three times more likely to abuse alcohol than our hetero counterparts. Given this fact, it’s problematic that our social scene almost exclusively revolves around bars and that we so will... my straight ingly buy into the gaytargeted alcohol advertising in our magazines and 20- and 30event sponsorships. How something are we making space for our sober LGBT friends? friends RELY Are we really doing as much as we should be to ON BOOZE ... welcome LGBT youth into our community spaces? I’m not recommending that we cut alcohol out of our culture entirely, especially not in our state that’s chock full of such amazing microbreweries. We should, however, be more aware of the kinds of spaces we create as a community and maybe even work toward making new spaces that are more welcoming of sober and youth LGBT communities. ]

Brandé Micheau is a community activist and leader currently working in local politics as a constituent outreach officer.

Michael Carr is a member of the National Board of the Log Cabin Republicans, President of Aspirant Marketing, Inc. and resides in Cheesman Park with his partner, Fred. They were Civil Unionied in Illinois in January.

Interested in becoming one of the voices on Out Front’s PANEL? 10

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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Jen LaBarbera is a 20-something queer woman in Denver. She is an organizer for reproductive justice and member of One Colorado’s People of Color Caucus.

Contact Matt Pizzuti by email at matt@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 712 to be considered!

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

THE LEBANESE LESBIAN

Maya Salam

When the truth doesn’t hurt

Sitting in Civic Center Park on July 3, I was particularly choked up and moved by the event: the symphony, the families, the fireworks, the massive crowd that came together for one of the few un-cancelled fireworks shows in Colorado. It’s hard not to get emotional about and reflect on my relationship with the U.S. in these moments, but this isn’t a column about politics. This is about my parents, who were then on their way home to North Carolina from their yearly three-month trip to Beirut as I sat watching the colorful explosions, feeling proud to be American. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized all the ways my parents are shining examples of survival and perseverance. As a child, I watched my entire family – both parents and two older sisters – go through the process of being naturalized as U.S. citizens. Being the only family member born in the U.S., I was an outsider witnessing this incredibly long trial, at an age too young to absorb what it all meant. Now, I’ve learned about the sacrifices and the lengths they went to ensure that we were safe and had opportunities, even if through it all, all I felt was disconnected. Perhaps that disconnected feeling followed me around too long. After I turned 18 I moved three hours away from them, and that’s the closest I’ve lived to them since. The distance helped me tackle some necessary issues but avoid a slew of others. I had never felt close and open with them, something I admired in other families. I couldn’t just be myself without worrying about judgment, anger or falling short of expectations. When I was growing up, my parents were conservative Republicans. They frequently made negative comments about those they thought were “strange.” What would they do if they knew their daughter didn’t just look different, but was different? It was inconceivable that I’d ever be able to tell them the truth – or so I thought. So when I prepared to come out to them, I was sleepless and anxious, tied in knots, for months. I feared that the generational and cultural gap between us would rear its ugly head again. Not to mention that they had “disowned” me in the past for various reasons, ranging from discovering that I smoked cigarettes in college to when I moved to Denver against

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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their will. Culturally, “disowning” is not that uncommon. I put the word in quotes because it never lasted longer than a year or two. Middle Eastern families often have what my therapist once described as a “tribal mentality,” breaking down to “you’re either with us or against us.” Middle Eastern kids often fear their parents, while desperately needing their approval. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t still have those loyalties. Before I wrote my coming out letter, I had no doubt that I’d be disowned. I was bracing for the familiar and feared kick of rejection. Some of my friends, concerned for my future, recommended I never tell my parents. Others told me that if I didn’t, my relationship with them would always be a lie – something I could no longer keep doing. So I did it: I wrote the letter. I sent it. I sat vomitous for days. At the end of my letter, I said, “Please don’t respond right away. Take your time. Process it. I love you more than anything.” The day my parents received my letter, my father called. I stared at my phone without answering, feeling a million miles away. He left a message, which I made my girlfriend check. It said that he completely understood, is absolutely fine, is happy for me, is proud of me, and loves me because I’m a good person. I broke into tears, called him back and had the closest moment I’ve ever had with my father. My mother took longer to warm up, but did so with thoughtfulness. I was blown away by her love and support, too. She even bought my girlfriend a gift in Beirut. There are, of course, hiccups, but she is there, loving and supporting me every day. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Apparently, while I had been doing my own growing up, I had completely underestimated their ability to do so. They’d evolved socially, politically, emotionally and spiritually, and I hadn’t even known. I’ve always considered them citizens of the world – they globetrot constantly – but I never considered the effect their experiences would have on their opinions of others. Of me. ] Maya can be reached at mns.outfront@gmail.com

@NICGARCIA

Their songs

are our history Marty O’Connell’s journey to Denver starts its name publically performs. And it is the in Kansas City. He grew up there – one of first of many battle hymns LGBT choruses 10 children in his family. When he came will come to compose and perform. Present day, I scribble in my notebook out, his father suggested a visit to the doctor. His mother was delighted there as many punny jokes about the huge gay music festival as I can come up with. Think would be a priest in the family. But instead of enrolling in seminary, the Olympics for gay choirs, but without the Marty packed his bags and headed west to medals. There are 6,000 singing LGBTers in San Francisco. He arrived in May of 1978. the Mile High City. I keep telling myself to keep a lookout for Judy, Liza or Barbara. He was 22 years old. During a walk through the Haight-Ash- Surely, one of them has to manifest with bury neighborhood, a poster stapled to a this much gay in one city block. And while there is a campy, lighter telephone pole and advertising tryouts for an all-gay male chorus caught his atten- side to GALA Choruses, the organization tion. Back in Kansas City, Marty sang in behind Festival 2012, the punny is quickly his high school choir. Some of his fondest slapped out of me when I realize these choirs are as much memories are singing a part of the history with his five sisters as and struggle for LGBT they cleaned up after equality as ACT UP, dinner. HRC or the Task Force. So, he decided to In fact, for so many, join what would later like Marty, it was how become the San Franthey fought back. cisco Gay Men’s Chorus. “After that perforToday he’s one of mance, at City Hall,” only two of the original Marty said. “We knew 110 founding members we were going to make a left. He’s buried the statement. And we have.” rest of them. Nic Garcia Sure, songs like “We Their song cut short Shall Go Forth,” “Never Ever,” and “I by the HIV/AIDS Epidemic. Shall Miss Loving You,” were never Top But I’m jumping ahead. The date is Nov. 27, 1978. The San 40 hits. But they weren’t meant to be. Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus is practicing They were written and performed to together for only the fourth time. Harvey bring comfort to the comfortless, hope Milk, the first openly gay man ever to be to the hopeless, to be a rallying cry for elected to office, along with the city’s mayor, those who needed to yell – but chose to sing, instead. George Moscone, has been assassinated. The proof is in the pudding. The city, as The San Francisco Chronicle Earlier that Sunday, Marty took in a put it, is in agony. “We looked at each other and said, concert of his own. A group of six teen‘we can not be at this rehearsal,’” Marty agers from his hometown have formed their own choir: OUTKC and they, too, recalls. “We have to get to City Hall.” Along the way, a song is written by Holly made the trip to Denver. Marty’s voice cracks as he talks about Near, she calls it, “Singing for Our Lives.” the performance. The group rehearses the song twice. “The little groups… they’re the We are a gentle, angry people and we are singing, singing for our lives ones that break your heart,” he says. “They’re just so brave. … I didn’t have We are a justice-seeking people and we are singing, singing for our lives that opportunity when I was in school. … I wish I would have been born 30 We are young and old together and we are singing, singing for our lives years later.” “But, Marty, if you were, who would We are a land of many colors and we are singing, singing for our lives have formed the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus?” I ask. “Those kids We are gay and straight together and we are singing, singing for our lives wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you.” We are a gentle, loving people “Oh, I’m no leader,” he said. and we are singing, singing for our lives I respectfully disagree. ] The simple song and its debut are many firsts: the first time the chorus publically performs. Actually, it’s the first time a Reach associate publisher Nic Garcia chorus – anywhere – with the word “gay” in by email at nic@outfrontonline.

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JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

OUT IN COLORADO

The Colorado Prime Timers’

Rocky Mountain Regional gathering Gay social events are sometimes imagined as flocks of single 20-something men at a bar or club drinking their hearts’ content, pondering who they’ll go home with. But Colorado Prime Timers, a social group for older gay and bisexual men – and their admirers – is one that shatters the stereotype. “The average age is 60s,” said Bobby Gates, who founded the group’s Denver chapter in 1987, adding that many of the group’s 185 registered members are younger or older than that. They meet for a weekly luncheon at noon every Wednesday at Charlie’s – their most popular recurring event called “Nooners” – but every week holds a number of cocktail hours, coffee dates and breakfasts as chances to connect. “Sometimes it’s the only outlet that some guys have,” Gates said.

Gates has lately been busy preparing for the Rocky Mountain Regional Gathering July 19-22 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, celebrating the organization’s 25th anniversary with gay seniors from near and far. While the hotel events required pre-registration, Friday night’s Gray Stocking Review Show at Charlie’s is open to all. “It’s a group of older female impersonators,” Gates said, “some pros, some not, and it should be a hoot. It has a really good turnout. Everyone’s welcome.” Guests can expect door prizes and a raffle, and performers will have jars collecting donations, all benefiting the Matthew Shepard Foundation. ] The group’s monthly newsletter is available online, as is a calendar, contact info and history at http://coloradoprimetimers.com

Dick Moore, Colorado Prime Timers President

Upcoming fundraisers and gatherings … Keshet Night OUT at Charlie’s

Keshet, the largest Jewish advocacy organization promoting LGBT equality, is hosting a night out for all Jewish LGBT members in Denver to socialize and connect. Dance lessons at 8 will be followed by a night of drinks and fun! When: 8 p.m., July 26 Where: Charlie’s, 900 E. Colfax Ave. Web: http://keshet.org

The mini health fair includes free BMI screenings, Blood Pressure Screenings, medication management screenings and workshops on Transgender health and safe sex practices. When: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Aug. 18 Where: The GLBT Community Center of CO, 1301 E Colfax Ave. Web: http://glbtcolorado.org

25th Annual AIDS Walk Colorado

BCAP “Pozluck” – Community Potluck

Join one of the largest fundraisers and walks raising money for future HIV/AIDS services, education and awareness. Plus, don’t miss the AIDS Walk Colorado Volleyball Tournament and Celebration of Life Festival. When: Aug. 11 Where: Cheesman Park Web: http://coloradoaidsproject.org

August 18: The Center’s Mini Health Fair

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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Bring a favorite dish and meet new people in this monthly opportunity from the Boulder Country AIDS Project to connect and socialize with fellow members of Boulder’s LGBT community. When: 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m., Aug. 23 Where: BCAP Conference Room, 2118 14th St., Boulder Web: http://bcap.org

CO Kickin’ for a CauseKickball Tournament

Twenty dollars and a team of 15 players gets you a fun day in the sun, kicking away to benefit the Howard Dental Center’s oral health care program for patients living with HIV and AIDS. Beer and lunch is included, along with an after-party at X Bar. When: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Aug. 26 Where: City Park Ballfields Web: http://howarddental.org

9th Annual Boulder Pride

Featuring dynamic B-52 cover band Hey, Lady!, the Boulder Pridefest promises to be a day filled with fun, good food and community, all under the spectacular landscape of the famous Boulder Flatirons. When: Sept. 16 Where: Boulder Central Park Web: http://outboulder.org ]

RADIOACTIVE VISION

Give me a break

walking in the parade, I’ve never typed my I was not about to miss column one-handed this one. Two days later, before. This hot pink I found myself at Kaiser cast has forced my hand, deliberating the color of figuratively and literally. my new cast. I settled on My left hand to be exact. hot pink since it would My jumping stilts got accessorize best with a little too jumpy this my parade outfit. When year at Apogaea, Colorait comes to casts, pink is do’s version of Burning the new white and a cast Man, in the mountains is the new accessory. east of Bailey. It was As my doctor was a typical Friday night. wrapping my hand, he There I was dressed in inquired if I was OK. a leather harness, black “It’s not bad at all. It leather kilt, giant white doesn’t hurt one bit,” I fuzzy bunny ears and replied. my spring-loaded stilts. “Well, don’t get too If you are going to hop comfortable. I’m about to around on jumping stilts, Nuclia Waste cause you a great deal of bunny ears are a must. pain,” he warned. After dancing at Expat “Do I need a safe word?” I asked. He Alien Camp, I headed down the gravel and dirt road to explore what other fun parties laughed and our conversation took an unthe other 1,300 attendees were hosting. expected turn filled with terms like ball Down was the key word. The road went gags, asphyxiation sex and leather whips. down, I picked up speed, and down I went I should have known a doctor who spends like a hot lizard at a BP America truck stop. his life wrapping people’s body parts in Luckily I happened to crash directly in front bandages probably knows his way around of the EMT tent. When my hand swelled a dungeon or two. I just love my Kaiser. I think I am going to start a new fashion up like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon, they suggested I might want to get some trend – casting. It will be a type of haute x-rays. I did that, two days later. I was not couture bondage. Various parts of your about to cash in my fun ticket on my first body will be immobilized in the latest day. I had more creative costumes to show colors and trends from Paris and New off. My hand could wait. A pan of medicinal York. Colorado House Speaker McNulty brownies also kept me distracted from the will be my first customer. I plan to put a cast around his entire head. fractured bone pulsating in my hand. I spent Friday night of PrideFest weekend On our way out of the mountains on Sunday morning, Mr. Waste dropped me at Nina Flower’s Drag Nation at Tracks. Her off at the St. Joseph emergency room for invited guests included the top three contesmy much needed x-rays. St. Joe’s is filled tants from this season’s RuPaul’s Drag Race, with hunky orderlies, nurses and doctors. Sharon Needles, Chad Michaels and Phi Phi All that eye candy was a total distraction O’Hara. Sharon brought the house down from my throbbing appendage. Or rather, singing a live Rocky Horror parody. Phi Phi it caused other appendages to start throb- spent her time whining about how hot the bing. Either way, when they checked my stage lights were. (Honey, get over it. You are a performer wearing a wig. This is not your blood pressure, it was elevated. As the hottie male nurse was wrapping first rodeo). Chad Michaels resurrected Cher my hand in a splint, he asked if I would (she’s dead, right?) and was the epitome of be getting rid of my stilts. Bless his heart. grace and style. I learned that suspended He clearly did not know PrideFest was the spinning drag queens carousels and candy following weekend. After 15 years of stilt corn bras are awesome.

As for the rest of the regular cast, I have some tips for performing in front of hundreds during pride weekend: Know your words. You only have to memorize ONE song. Know the words. Learn to tuck. Camel toes barely look good on camels. Even less so on drag queens.

Wear hose. I don’t care how close you shave. No one wants to see your pasty bare knobby legs. Back up dancers should know how. This is self explanatory. Eat a cheeseburger, you skinny bitches. ] Nuclia Waste can be reached through her website at http://NucliaWaste.com.

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JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

GAL ON THE MOVE

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JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

One of the challenges surrounding benevolence is the multiple perceptions it holds by those who receive and benefit from it. If benevolence is accepted as a gift, it is a wonderful and uplifting experience for all involved. But if the beneficiary receives it as her or his due – as something owed by you or the Universe in general – it sours the whole process. I have been on both sides of this experience. I have been both kinds of beneficiaries. The latter is definitely preferable. I became connected to an incredible woman a couple of months ago, through a mutual friend. It was one of those experiences where your heart begins to race – because as you are talking, you begin to realize that you have just met someone who is truly going to change your life. Her name is Paula Langguth Ryan. One of the things that I have learned from Paula is what a gift really is. When you give a gift, you give it with the intention of benevolence to whoever the recipient is. If you are the recipient, it is your role to receive with gratitude and humility. If you are the giver, your role is to give it without requirements or strings. What happens to that gift, once is has been given, is no longer relevant. As the recipient of a gift, it is your role to receive it humbly. I believe that you can manifest the things that you want in your life, but no one owes you anything. You are not obligated in any way by being the beneficiary of the gift either. You do not owe anyone anything for accepting this gift. It is a challenging concept; in the conversations I have had, people often seem to believe that someone “owes” them something for whatever benevolence they’ve been shown. Tit for tat, 50-50, even-steven – these are all concepts of getting as “good” as you give. When you are giving in order to receive, then the gift is hollow. It no longer has the significance that true benevolence has, and often leads to conflict or disappointment. The same is true for the recipient: If you believe the world and everyone in it owes you something because you exist and have survived life thus far, any gifts you receive will be perceived as your due, without pleasure. Finally, what took you so long? For a truly benevolent experience, the giver must give for the joy of giving and the recipient must receive with the joy of unplanned for abundance. Why thank you what a wonderful gesture! Another woman – who has herself

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Robyn Vie-Carpenter been a real gift in my life – once told me that she believes the reason that I am the recipient of so many wonderful gifts is that I am grateful. She said, “Where gratitude goes, grace follows.” Thank you, incredibly powerful words indeed. It is the small benevolences shown throughout the day that can really add up to a satisfying life of kindness. Let someone merge onto the highway in front of you (I am convinced that, except for an accident or construction, the failing of this is the cause for all traffic jams). Try holding the door and letting someone pass before you. Give your seat to someone on the bus who could use it more than you can – no age, no gender, and no parental categorizations. When someone offers you her or his seat, take it and say thank you. When someone lets you merge onto her or his lane, give a wave of thanks. When somebody holds the door, smile and say thank you – or step back and say please, after you. These examples are commonplace, but it can be expanded. What’s true for the little things is only more true for the big ones. Consider being an everyday benefactor. You will be amazed at all that you are also given in the process. Accept, with grace and humility, the gifts that you are given. You will be amazed at all that you are given in the process there too. ] Read more about Paula Ryan at http://paulalangguthryan.com. Robyn can be reached by email at thegoddessofjoy1@gmail.com

BEAUTY

TOP FIVE

tools for your tootsies

By Kelsey Lindsey We’ve all experienced it before: you spot a hot babe at the pool, checking you out. As she approaches, your heart starts beating faster and faster – she is cute, you’re cute; you should get together multiply this cuteness by two. But then, as you proceed to give this fabulous body the elevator eyes, you spot something unsightly – cracked, dried feet supporting yellow nails that should never be released outside of their shoe confines. You turn away – its just too much – and do the awkward duck and weave to leave, avoiding Big Foot at all costs. Prevent yourself from becoming this poolside pariah with these top beauty products for your little ones – assuring that your fabulousness will radiate from head to toe(s).

1. Curél Targeted Therapy Foot Cream ($6 at Walgreens)

One of the best bargains in foot creams, Curél Targeted Therapy Foot Cream is infused with shea butter and coconut milk that can help sooth even the most cracked and irritated of feet. Formulated with advanced Ceramide moisturizers, this lotion helps improve skin’s performance, even in the most dehydrated of situations.

2. Foot Petals Strappy Strips

($6.95 for 8 at Nordstrom) Those five-inch heels may be fabulous on the outside, but for your feet they can be the pink platforms from hell. Avoid unsightly blisters and scars on your lovely feet with Foot Petals Strappy Strips, thin adhesive cushions that will turn even the most painful of shoes into

comfy gems that you can strut your stuff in all day long.

3. Kiehl’s Dry Run Foot Cream

($17.50 at Kiehl’s) A tight, toned body might be one of the many positive side effects of working out, but along with that chiseled physique comes stinky, sweaty athlete’s feet. Kiehl’s Dry Run Foot Cream moderates this negative attribute of physical activity when applied in advance, with its unique formula of sweat-absorbing volcanic extracts and cooling Aloe Vera. Throw it in the gym bag with the deodorant to insure you are ready to scoop out cuties at the gym even after the hardest of sweat-inducing workouts.

4. Aveda Foot Relief ($20 at Aveda)

Top rated as one of the best products for your feet, Aveda Foot Relief is a smoothing crème that provides one of the most soothing of fragrances when applied. Its lavender and rosemary oils help soften sore, tried feet riddled with rough patches and calluses, producing thoughts of pedicures and relaxation with every use.

5. Diamancel Tough Buffer #11

($49.00 at Amazon.com) Forty-nine dollars might be a price tag to balk at for a foot buffer, but be assured that this lofty tool is a great investment for your inventory of foot products. Made with real bits of diamond, this buffer can turn even the most ghastly of feet smooth and touchable. Gentle enough to use every day, this buffer is one of the best tools for preventing unsightly callouses and dry patches on your hardworking feet. ]

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JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

THRIVE

The art of meatless muscle:

Ambitious fitness goals on vegetarian or vegan diets By Jeffrey Steen In a recent sensationalist piece donned at planetgreen.com, it was revealed that some of our favorite movie stars use vegan and vegetarian diets to beef up for meaty movie roles. The beloved Hugh Jackman, for example, avoided dairy and meat while pumping iron in preparation for the sequel to Wolverine. What? I’m no nutritionist, but the vegan approach to bodybuilding seems counterintuitive. I’ve long lusted after the rock-hard chests of celebs and athletes, but I never assumed they achieve meaty success after eating wheelbarrows full of carrots and celery. Is it really possible to bulk up without meat protein in your diet? Jessica Visinsky, a graduate of CSU’s Food Science and Nutrition program, says it’s possible —with some difficulty. “Proteins – especially complementary proteins – are very important to athletes of all kinds,” she says. “There are protein powders and supplements for those who don’t get sufficient protein through their diet, but the ideal is always to get those nutrients naturally.” The key, according to Visinsky, is diligence and balance. Vegetarians can hit the gym and expect results if they pay close attention to the added dietary requirements of their workout regime. “It’s very important to focus on iron, calcium, and vitamin B12 intake,” she explains. “Athletes should also be sure to get at least one and a half grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. These are the nutrients that are often deficient in a vegetarian or vegan diet, and can make progress in the gym difficult.” In the same vein, Tracy Boykin, a registered dietitian with Clinical Nutrition Center in Denver, says that it’s absolutely possible to maintain a vegetarian and vegan lifestyle while reaching fitness goals, provided that adherents are disciplined

and focused. “It’s not difficult to eat enough protein to build muscle on a vegetarian diet,” Boykin says. “Good athletes will generally increase their intake of food and, therefore, nutrients. But it is important that they get a variety of proteins.” Boykin credits growing knowledge about vegan and vegetarian diets, as well as the availability of non-meat proteins, for the success of these diets. “There are more products, restaurants, and workout regimes that take these diets into consideration,” she says. But while Jackman, along with the rest of us would-be movie stars studs, give vegan and vegetarian diets a better name, Boykin and Visinsky agree there are important things to keep an eye on. “Calcium is probably the most difficult nutrient to get in a vegan or vegetarian diet,” Boykin says. “You need to really load up on dark green leafy veggies that are not spinach. This means kale, collards, mustard, and beet greens. Most people just take a calcium supplement –1,000-1,200mg are needed daily by both men and women.” For vegetarians, there are more options for diverse proteins – like tofu, seitan, eggs, beans, and for some, fish. For vegans it’s more difficult, but still possible – nuts, wheat, and soy powders allow active individuals to get the protein intake they need while not betraying their diet. Which is shocker for me – and perhaps for most of us. Maintaining vegetarian and vegan diets while reaching intense fitness goals, though easier than it once was, is still no simple feat. It requires a tremendous amount of attention and diligence. And word has it that determination pays off: I mean, just look at Jackman on the big screen. I, however, am not convinced my gaunt frame can ever achieve hulk status regardless of what I eat. But at least I know I can stick to veggie-inspired fare and add some imposing heft. Let that be next year’s resolution. ]

There’s an impressively large collection of resources out there for vegans and vegetarians interested in an active lifestyle. Check out some of these sites for diet programs, bodybuilding regimes and in-depth information on what nutrients your body needs to help you beef up. VEGAN BODYBUILDING & FITNESS – http://veganbody building.com A comprehensive site showcasing personal testimonials, essays and overviews of the veganbodybuilding lifestyle

BODYBUILDING ONLINE – http://bodybuilding.com An overall great site for bodybuilders with key information about how to tailor your diet for the greatest success

VEGAN RUNNERS – http://veganrunners.org Networking for vegan runners all over the world – from Japan to the UK

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

VEGAN FITNESS – http://veganfitness.net A forum devoted to everything from recipes to idle conversation and the ethics of eating

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VEGGIE FITNESS – http://veggiefitness.com A blog dedicated to sharing information about vegetarian food products, supplements, and exercise techniques

SAMPLE VEGAN BODYBUILDING DIET Courtesy of Mike Mahler of Bodybuilding.com, this diet – marked by multiple small meals throughout the day – is an example of what it takes to go vegan while still building the muscle you want. His advice: “Make sure that you eat a variety of food to get the full array of muscle-building amino acids. Also, keep in mind that some saturated fat is required for optimal health, so get some coconut oil or coconut milk in your diet as well.”

BREAKFAST SHAKE: 3 Tbsp rice protein power (nutribiotic brand) 8 oz almond milk 8 oz soy milk 1/2 c frozen mangoes or strawberries 1 Tbsp coconut oil 2 tsp Vitamineral Green MID-AFTERNOON SNACK: 1/2 c almonds 1/2 c raisins LATE AFTERNOON SNACK: 2 veggies burgers cooked with olive oil sprouted bread (aka Ezekial or Man’s Bread) POST WORKOUT SHAKE: 3 Tbsp rice protein powder 8 oz oat or rice milk 1 Tbsp flaxseed oil 1/2 c frozen fruit DINNER: mixed green salad with 1 Tbsp olive oil 1 c lentils, steamed with squash, carrots, tomatoes, mushrooms, and tofu 1 c quinoa 1 pear or apple 1-2 pieces dark chocolate 1 glass red wine LATE-NIGHT SNACK: Peanut butter or almond butter sandwich 1 c berries

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

BLEED LIKE ME

HIV and the

diabetes debate One of the most haunting feelings in life is considering your own mortality. At age 25, I felt all too young to have even the slightest brawl with death. My HIV doctor worked patiently to calm down the havoc in my brain – saying that improvements in HIV treatment have gone so well that the disease had been reclassified from fatal to chronic. By the blank stare on my face, my doctor knew that I didn’t understand what this meant, so clarified with an analogy: HIV now functioned more like a disease such as diabetes. Though I didn’t know much about diabetes, it did help put my mind at ease. My doctor said that while HIV is still possibly fatal, the diagnosed person can live a long and healthy life if HIV is managed properly. I considered how nicely the general population treats those with diabetes, and wondered if that could perhaps mean the same for HIV. If a sweet, old man like Alfred Brimley could go on national television ads endorsing supplies to keep his disease under control, then there can be hope for other diseases of equal caliber – right? When I told close friends and family about my diagnosis, I repeated the diabetes analogy. Even if they were skeptical, the comparison seemed to comfort them. But I quickly learned that my doctor was not the only one who used this comparison, and people had all sorts of opinions. Some appreciated the comparison; others said it was bullshit. The two diseases have so little in common, some said, that comparing them is insulting to both. While both HIV and type II diabetes can be behaviorally acquired, only HIV can be contracted from another person. The fact that HIV is transmitted mostly sexually and intravenously brings a deeper stigma; no Alfred Brimley would dare touch it as a spokesperson. The prick of these opinions burst my bubble of diabetes-normality. This country seemed comfortable with discussing diabetes; social terror is a much more obvious aspect of life for those living with HIV. After one of my HIV public speaking gigs, during my routine one-on-one appreciations with people from the audience, a young man thanked me for talking so publicly about something so difficult. As I prepared to reply

Scott McGlothlen with the appropriate modest gratitude, he disclosed his own experience with disease. He doesn’t have HIV, he said – he has diabetes. He’d had his own struggles growing up as the odd guy out. When he was a kid, he said, his family encountered difficulty keeping him in school due to other people’s fear. Apparently diabetes had its own stigma to overcome twenty years ago – regular testing for blood sugar and insulin injections were quite frightening to the general public. It got my brain cranking for days about the debate as to whether these two diseases should be compared or not. Perhaps diabetes stigma did once resemble today’s perception of HIV. While the lag is discouraging for some, it might be hopeful for others. If stigma was the only thing making HIV seem like a worse diagnosis than diabetes, I couldn’t help but wonder about other differences. Both are deemed chronic rather than fatal – yet, I got the sense that a diabetic person has much more to consider in managing her or his disease than a person with HIV does. As someone living with HIV, I find that the strictly regimented pills are often a hassle. But a diabetic person must regularly monitor her or his blood sugar levels with blood draws mostly through finger sticks. She or he also must monitor eating habits or feel extremely sick, risk coma or even death. If that isn’t enough, a person with diabetes must be injected with insulin regularly. A person with Type I diabetes can opt for an insulin pump that hooks to the body, but that can leave a person feeling even more self-conscious about her or his disease. This all made me feel like my daily pill regimen isn’t such an inconvenience after all. Those with diabetes and those with HIV have familiar concerns, of managing stigma and becoming meticulous about health maintenance tasks. They’re not identical, but debating the differences could be key to approaching the similarities: Though for some, it seems like apples to oranges, for others it looks like it’s still all just fruit. ]

HIV now functioned more LIKE A DISEASE such as diabetes.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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Scott can be reached at BleedLikeScott@gmail.com.

FAITH & SPIRIT

An authentic identity and

rediscovering the Orthodox practice By Rafi Daugherty

This weekend marked my 30th birthday. Birthdays are always a time of looking back and seeing how life, or I, have changed over the past year, five years, ten years, etc. If someone would have asked me to write a piece about spirituality ten years ago, when I was still an Orthodox Jewish female, undoubtedly I would have written something from the Old Testament (Torah) about abiding by the many commandments therein. I would have reassured you that there is spirituality behind not doing things that you desire to do or behind doing age-old rituals that don’t seem to make any sense today. And I believed every word of that too. I spent years struggling with who I was and who I thought G-d wanted me to be. I felt that one of my life’s missions was to reconcile the fact that I was born into a female body but felt that I was really a boy inside. I thought that with enough prayer and devotion, those feelings would leave and I would feel “right” with myself and with G-d. I knew without a doubt that one could not be gay and an Orthodox Jew, I didn’t even know that someone could transition from their birth gender/sex. In 2003, when I was 21 and met my first transgender acquaintance, I knew right away that if I wasn’t Orthodox, I would be transgender. But I felt certain that G-d would not approve of that for me. Thinking that I might be a lesbian, I slowly got involved in the New York Jewish queer community and very slowly started the process towards becoming more myself. I worked on giving up my previous concept of G-d as an Almighty, lightening-shooting, and irrational figure and started to feel G-d as a loving, nurturing and devoted friend. I started departing from strict Orthodox practice, but with a lot of angst since I was raised that Orthodoxy was the only “right” way to “do G-d.” Once those laws and obligations that I used to hold dear lost their importance to me, my life shifted in a way that really started allowing me to get to know who I was and what was really important to me. In 2007, on my 25th birthday, I started the transition to Rafi. I took Hebrew names that meant “Mercy,” “G-d Heals,” and “G-d will save” as a way of asking for G-d’s mercy if I was doing the wrong thing and asking for G-d to save and heal me. It was an intense part of my life; I knew I would lose family and

friends who really believe that the fact that G-d doesn’t make a mistake means that we have to accept everything “as is.” Of course, I have since learned that G-d has also given us the power and insight to change things that are unacceptable to us. Today, if you ask me to write about spirituality, I will tell you about the weekend I spent with more than 6,000 LGBT and allied people who sing in choruses all over the U.S. and beyond. I will tell you about the way two voices – or many more – can blend beautifully together in perfect and melodic harmony. I will tell you about hugs that could last forever when you see your best friend after time apart. I will tell you about rooms of the most diverse people who share a common language and a common goal. I will talk about meditation in remote areas and meditation on crowded trains, about helping a woman off the bus with her baby carriage, and about taking time to pet a loving and grateful animal. I still engage in some of the traditions of my youth and my people, but today my heart and mind are open to so much more, and I am happier and more settled in myself than ever before. Becoming the most authentic me is the most spiritual thing I have ever done. ] Rafi Daugherty is a 30 year old native of Colorado. Rafi was raised from age 7 on as an ultra-Orthodox Jewish girl. Currently Rafi works as the Colorado Outreach Coordinator for Keshet, a national organization working towards the full inclusion of LGBT Jews in Jewish life. He lives with his little dog Smudge and hopes to become a foster parent in the near future.

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JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Susan B. Anthony

“The day will come when men will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside, but in councils of the nation. Then, and not until then, will there be the perfect comradeship, the ideal union between the sexes that shall result in the highest development of the race.”

Janis Joplin

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Gloria Steinem “Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.”

“In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: either she’s a feminist or a masochist.”

“We are, all of us, exploring a world none of us understands ... searching for a more immediate, ecstatic, and penetrating mode of living ... for the integrity, the courage to be whole, living in relation to one another in the full poetry of existence ... Fear is always with us, but we just don’t have time for it.”

From feminism to activism: Women continue to pave the way for change By Holly Hatch The feminist movement would never have been what is has without the engagement of queer and lesbian women, said Elisabeth Long, of Denver. “In my eyes, lesbians and bi and queer women and transgender variant folks are at the forefront – and always have been – of the most creative and revolutionary queer and feminist activism,” Long said. “Despite a lack of recognition and attention, they – we – have always been here, getting shit done behind the scenes, at home, in bed, at the office, in the community and on the streets.” Long is a feminist activist who has been involved in creating awareness and advocating for the rights of queer feminists along with her work in police accountability, farm worker justice, human trafficking as well as prisoner rights and education. Long began her feminist activism at the University of Missouri’s Women Center in 2005. After she moved to Colorado she threw herself into creating and organizing feminist potlucks and got involved with human rights’ organizations, as a volunteer and outreach activist to help bring awareness to feminist consciousness. She is currently the case coordinator for the Denver Domestic Violence Fatality Review Committee. It’s only recently, though, that such women have gotten more prominent visibility and recognition. Women’s liberation was known through such figures as Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan – author of The Feminine Mystique in which Friedan challenged gender in employment and gender roles in day-to-day life. Meanwhile, those we think of as pioneers of the modernday gay movement – Frank Kameny, The Mattachine Society’s founder Harry Hay, and most of all, San Francisco City Supervisor Harvey Milk, lived and worked in a separate sphere. But since the 1990s, feminist activism has taken on new faces, led in many cases by trans, queer, lesbian and bi women whose diversity and awareness of intersecting issues of race and class have created a more holistic and cooperative movement. Women across the world continue to protest, demand change and create new revolutionary thought, and now, more than ever, all players are welcome. Perhaps one of the most influential figures in recent

feminism is Rebecca Walker, a black bisexual feminist who founded the Third-Wave Foundation and is often credited with coining the term “Third Wave” feminism with her 1992 piece in Ms. Magazine, “Becoming the Third Wave.” “The fight is far from over… turn that outrage into political power. Do not vote for them unless they work for us. Do not have sex with them, do not break bread with them, do not nurture them if they don’t prioritize our freedom to control our bodies and our lives. I am not a post-feminist feminist. I am the Third Wave.” ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– The American feminist movement dates back to the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and in its primal stages was based around the most fundamental American right: the vote. Heralded through women like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, both co-founders of the Women’s Temperance Movement, journalists like Margaret Fuller, political activists like Margaret Mackworth, and novelists like Charlotte Perkins Gilman, sexual orientation – and patriarchy – were not factors in the political fight. Though one might speculate that many of the leaders in the First Wave, like authors Gilman and Kate Chopin, used literature as a form of activism, which allowed them to come out, even if only through the work they left behind. Chris Talbot, a historian and professor of women’s studies at the University of Northern Colorado said that the biggest achievement of First Wave feminism was a consciousness of the woman’s political identity. First Wave feminism is more easily realized now, she said, because everyone knew what the key issue and problem was. “It was really focused on getting the vote and there were all sorts of debates and discussions about how to do that,” she said. It was, however, Second Wave feminism that rejected patriarchy, dissatisfied with the mere right to vote when woman were still being consigned to unfulfilling, predetermined roles in the home and family. One of the biggest Second Wave leaders was Betty Friedan, who through her writing attempted to give a voice to women

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

who felt pigeonholed into housewife and motherhood roles. She brought women’s liberation to the forefront in the book she wrote in 1963, The Feminine Mystique: “In almost every professional field, in business and in the arts and sciences, women are still treated as secondclass citizens. It would be a great service to tell girls who plan to work in society to expect this subtle, uncomfortable discrimination – tell them not to be quiet, and hope it will go away, but fight it. A girl should not expect special privileges because of her sex, but neither should she ‘adjust’ to prejudice and discrimination.” Contrast that with the most recent movement, in which histories have converged. The feminist and queer feminist movements are more complex due to what Talbot calls intersectionality – the alignment of multiple marginalized identities in a single person – and what Talbot believes is the most important contribution to the feminist movement in the last 40 years. “Intersectionality embodies the idea that there is a whole host of [female] identities, and the concept is that those identities (race, class, gender and sexuality – that are the four that get the most play), are overlapping, and co-constitutive of each other,” Talbot said. “Such that what it means to be a working-class lesbian of color is very different than what it means to be a middle-class white heterosexual woman.” Talbot, who noted that teaching the subjects of queer studies and feminism can be tricky in the academic world, said that the umbrella of feminism, today, means something different for all female, and male, players. “[Feminism is] really about the notion that identities are overlapping and co-constitutive of each other,” Talbot said. “This notion that there can be a feminism that works for everybody becomes difficult once you begin to think about the multiplicity of the kinds of women that feminism is trying to work for.” “Queer feminism,” Talbot said, “is the attempt to sort of theorize the intersections of gender and sexuality. The entire movement has really run with it, which I really think is a great thing.”

Rebecca Walker

“What do we become when we put down the scripts written by history and memory, when each person before us can be seen free of the cultural or personal narrative we’ve inherited or devised? When we, ourselves, can taste that freedom.”

Lady Gaga

Alongside racial justice in which black lesbians like Rebecca Walker, poet Pat Parker and activist Barbara Smith have been key figures, the notion of gender identity and sexuality are new notable banners on the totem pole of feminism. For Long, her work as a queer activist continues to be much more encompassing of human inequalities. For her, anti-violence, transformative justice and prison abolition are at the forefront of current day activism. “I choose to work with people and organizations that hold feminist consciousness and intersectional anti-oppression politics … I don’t know that I think feminist identification is that important,” she said. “While I definitely think it’s important to recognize the work done by feminists and to keep doing feminist work, people’s identification is less important to me than the work they do and how they interact with women and feminine-expressing folks in their lives.” She said that she continues her activism to end sexism, sexist exploitation and oppression, and it is important to look at the rights of all people. Just as women have long been courageous supporters and advocates for male-centered social stigma and movements, like HIV/AIDS, men also have found their place in present-day feminist activism. David Popper is one among many of the self-identified male feminists in the LGBT community. As the communications and new media manager for Planned Parenthood, a nonprofit geared towards female reproductive rights, Popper said his primary concern and efforts in both his work and as a gay activist are surrounding the notion of human equality. “I think one of the reasons why people are homophobic is that they are holding up the masculine ideal,” Popper said. “And as a feminist, I’m trying to break down those barriers to fight against the privileging of the masculine.” Talbot said that men who call themselves feminists can bring up an interesting debate. In her view through her work as a historian, feminism is still a location for women that needs to be accomplished by women. “One analogy you can think about is the white folks in the Civil Rights movement,” Talbot said. “These folks came into the movement and became leaders in the movement and began to determine what kinds of activism civil rights should take. And black folks were like, ‘You know what? No!’” Talbot said that for men who want to be feminists, there is a certain sensitivity required of them. She said that men can be the most helpful by participating in resisting patriarchy that is not just a problem with men, but also a larger social construction in which our political and cultural norms are dictated through male privilege. Continued on page 44

“I want women – and men – to feel empowered by a deeper and more psychotic part of themselves. The part they’re always trying desperately to hide. I want that to become something that they cherish.”

Kate Chopin

“I would give up the unessential; I would give up my money, I would give up my life for my children; but I wouldn’t give myself. I can’t make it more clear; it’s only something I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me.”

Adrienne Rich

“A revolutionary poem will not tell you who or when to kill, what and when to burn, or even how to theorize. It reminds you ... where and when and how you are living and might live – it is a wick of desire.”

A QUICK GLANCE at the THREE WAVES of feminism >> FIRST WAVE >> In the U.S. the leaders of the feminist movement were also big players in the campaign to abolish slavery and Temperance before women’s rights came to the forefront. First Wave feminism fought to argue that there is such a thing as a women’s political identity that is unique. First Wave feminism was focused on women’s right to vote, and suffrage. TIME FRAME: Late 19th Century through the early 20th century A FEW KEY PLAYERS: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, Margaret Mackworth, Kate Chopin (author of The Awakening), Margaret Fuller, Charlotte Perkins Gilman >> SECOND WAVE >> Second Wave feminism stressed economic issues of equality in employment, sexual harassment and the theoretical thought involving the differences between men and women and their influence of politics. Also, female empowerment took shape. Includes the rise of cultural feminism, including art, performance and literature that was a direct response to radical feminism in an attempt to reverse the cultural valuation of the male and the devaluation of the female. TIME FRAME: Early 1960s through the early 1990s A FEW KEY PLAYERS: Author and poet Adrienne Rich (wrote about the erotics of the female body), Pat Parker, Gloria Steinem, Barbara Smith, Betty Friedan >> THIRD WAVE >> The Third Wave movement, coined by black bisexual writer and activist Rebecca Walker, changed paths toward the desire of women to find their own voice; including a voice that is unique because of diversity in sexuality and gender. Includes sexual liberation, eco-feminism and queer feminism. TIME FRAME: Early 1990s to present A FEW KEY PLAYERS: Rebecca Walker, Susie Bright, Jill Nagle (author of Whores and other Feminists), scholar Christina Hoff Sommers (author of Who Stole Feminism?), Naomi Wolf (author of The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women.) POPULAR and POLITICAL CULTURE: Hilary Clinton, Cyndi Lauper, Lady Gaga, Ellen DeGeneres, Tracy Chapman

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A European treat: Sienna Wine Bar brings authentic charm and flavor to Denver By Jeffrey Steen Imagine this: the sultry, clandestine meeting of an 18thcentury French ladies parlor and the ritzy know-how of a smoke-filled Vienna coffeehouse on Wienerstraße. It’s a sight for sore eyes: A place where you can sip decadent black coffee before you enjoy a shallow glass of Gewürztraminer; where you lounge in claw-footed couches upholstered with floral figurines as your feet rest on marble coffee tables; where you indulge in Caprese amid the constant stir of conversation. And when you wake up, you find yourself, unfortunately, on 12th Avenue in Denver’s Congress Park neighborhood. Or perhaps not so unfortunately. Sienna Wine Bar seems to be Europe’s token presence in the neighborhood, but not so token that it lacks authenticity. There is a catch of Americanism that renders it welcome in the stretch of shops lining 12th Avenue, and a subdued Old World vitality offered up in kitschy furniture and wall-scattered knick-knacks. There is a distinct musk that pervades that space, but that’s just more quirky charm – after five minutes, the anachronistic wine bar feels truly, unbelievable comfortable. But more about the wine. Theirs is a catchy selection, if all over the map – literally. Each varietal section boasts five or six wines by the glass – which seem to be the go-tos for most – while full bottles spread into both comfortable and stranger breeds. Native Denver’s Infinite Monkey Theorem boasts a presence, which is a joyous find, as do several vineyards in Napa and Sonoma. As far as Italy, France, and Germany are concerned, however, the picks are scattershot – Nebbiolos to Chiantis, Champagne to Chardonnay. Descriptions offer a bit of guidance, though only true oenophiles could tell you what you need to know about the regions from which these

varietals hail. For the adventurous, it’s a gloriously safe opportunity for exploration, while for the greener drinkers, there is at least a name or two that catches the eye. What better to pair with wine than small plates? It’s a quickly growing trend, modeled after tapas restaurants in Spain and calling on flavor combinations from Italy. Classic antipasti easily whet the appetite (gourmet pizza and cured meats are choice choices), while more unusual small bites make their way onto the menu, like the ratatouille and baguette combination. It’s hard to go wrong with much of anything on the food menu, and while you might not be able to call any one dish truly authentic, it recalls enough of the Old World classics to make the menu eminently appealing and worth a wealth of sampling. Dessert comes fast (or perhaps first), and pairs well with premium Lavazza coffee (the only brand worth its beans, if you ask me). I’ve never been much for dairy-based desserts, but the ice cream and sorbet are universal hits. Keep it simple – the European way. If and when and the weather is accommodating, Sienna has prepared a patio area for lounging and noshing – set with couches, lounge chairs, low-lying tables, and umbrellas for shade. It’s reminiscent of a French countryside courtyard, and is beyond all else a wonderfully comfortable spot to land. Does Sienna live up to the Old World memory of classic coffee houses and French parlors? Enough – in design, drink, and dish – that it might become the tucked-away little favorite of Congress Park. Just don’t be fooled into thinking it’s a transplanted Vienna or Paris. ]

... while you might not be able to call any one dish truly authentic, it recalls enough of the OLD WORLD CLASSICS to make the menu EMINENTLY APPEALING and worth a wealth of SAMPLING.

Sienna Wine bar is located at 3422 East 12th Ave. For more info, online at http://siennawinebar.com or call (303) 355.2202.

Pairing

suggestion: Wine: Bellingham

Chenin Blanc (perfect hot weather comfort; light with a captivating, fruit-tinged profile)

Food: Baked Brie

(a classic, if simple; wrapped in phyllo and served with quince paste or raspberrypomegranate jam) 24

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

HIGH SOCIETY

‘Jersey Boys’ returns to

the Buell with gusto

included some nice lengthy stints in some great cities like Denver. The last time I was here with a show, it was cold and snowy. So I’m looking forward to this visit; it’s hard to beat the summers in Colorado.

By David Marlowe

Jersey Boys is a musical that tells the story of a group of blue collar guys who became one of the most popular American pop musical groups of all time. These guys invented a whole new sound, wrote their own music and lyrics and sold more than 175 million records – yes, records! – while they were still young enough to enjoy their earnings. The group was, of course, Franki Valli and The Four Seasons. Thanks to the producers at Denver Center Attractions, the mega-hit Broadway musical is back and better than ever, playing at The Buell Theatre through August 11. The production team is full of superb artists – including Howell Binkley, who won the 2006 Tony Award for his lighting design of Jersey Boys. The production also won the 2006 Best Musical Tony Award, the 2006 Grammy Award for Best Musical Show Album, the 2009 Olivier Award for Best New Musical and the Australian 2010 Helpmann Award for Best Musical. The last time Jersey Boys played The Buell, around 90,000 theatergoers packed the theatre with standing room only crowds. Whether or not you got a chance to have your socks blown off by this megahit, it behooves one and all to rush to the theatre box office now. This is the kind of musical that attracts people who haven’t seen a production in years. Out Front has been honored with a few words from actor Barry Anderson, who plays Bob Crewe in this touring company’s production. A music graduate from the University of Wisconsin, Anderson has been seen on Broadway in Legally Blonde, and has toured for Legally Blonde and My Fair Lady. He has appeared on television in 30 Rock and As the World Turns. How does touring with Jersey Boys stack up with the other touring musicals you’ve done in the past? It’s been fun bringing this completely new, exciting story to different areas of the country. Our schedule has

How is the show received by audiences? It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I don’t think any of us were quite prepared for the intense ovation after our first preview performance in Philadelphia last December. It was amazing. And it’s continued in every city we’ve played since then. I think a lot of it has to do with how strongly the music resonates with everyone. For a lot of folks, it’s a very personal and nostalgic journey. Jersey Boys has some very die-hard fans! I met a woman at the stage door in Atlanta a few weeks ago who proudly told me that it was her 37th time seeing the show. What’s the biggest challenge for an actor in a jukebox musical like this? One of the biggest challenges in any long-running show is keeping the performance fresh every night. But that’s also why doing eight shows a week is so exciting. It is a living, breathing, ever-changing medium. It’s surprising how much focus and concentration it actually takes to appear spontaneous. I like to remind myself that most of the audience has never experienced the show before. Our task as actors is to infuse each performance with the same energy and focus as we had on opening night. And the greatest reward? The obvious ‘built-in’ thrill for us onstage in a show like this is watching the audience respond to all the music they already know and love. But beyond that, my biggest pleasure is having the chance to help tell a true story. We in the cast all learned a ton during rehearsals for this show. And I’m continuing to learn more and more; each of our characters were real people. Even though most audiences come to the show already knowing the big hits, the vast majority of them know very little about the story behind the music. They end up leaving the theatre with a new appreciation for the ‘rags to riches’ nature of the story. Jersey Boys took home the 2006 Tony Award for Best Musical, and I think the reasons why are very clear to everyone who gets a chance to see the show. I’m proud to be a part of it, and I am so excited to be bringing it to Denver. ] Jersey Boys is now showing at the Buell Theatre through August 11. Online at http://denvercenter.org or call (303) 893.4100.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

Little Shop of Horrors, presented

by PHAMALY

Now through Aug. 5 Space Theatre, Speer and Arapahoe St. More info: http://denvercenter.org (303) 893.4100

Colorado Dragon Boat Festival July 28 through July 29 Sloan’s Lake, 1700 N Sheridan Blvd. More info: http://cdbf.org (303) 953.7277

Mary Chapin Carpenter

July 25, 7 p.m. Denver Botanic Gardens, York Street More info: http://botanicgardens.org (720) 865.3585

Global Dance Festival

July 19 through July 22 Red Rocks Amphitheatre, 18300 West Alameda Parkway More info: http://globaldancefestival.com (720) 865.2494

Cy Amundson

July 25 through July 28 Comedy Works South, 5345 Landmark Place, Greenwood Village More info: http://comedyworks.com (720) 274.6800

Aziz Ansari

July 21, 10:30 p.m. Paramount Theatre, 1621 Glenarm Place More info: http://ParamountDenver.com (303) 623.0106

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

HOOK UP

to speak, definitely changes. And Fridays and Saturdays sell themselves because it’s the weekend and people are just ready to party!

DJ Sinna G hooks

Denverites on the beat One of Denver’s resident DJ’s Sinna-G has been filling the clubs with her magical beats for the past two years. Originally from Florida, this entertainer is spreading her musical flavor with a large collection of personalized demo beats. What is the energy like when you are spinning? That’s a great question! My full-time job is DJ’ing at a place in downtown Denver called Maloney’s. I am there on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays unless I get booked elsewhere. Depending on the night that I am there, the energy and the pace, so

What is your favorite aspect of DJing in the club scene? It’s still all about the music for me. Getting paid for doing something that I love is just an added bonus. I got into DJing because of my love for music, and I’ve just been fortunate and blessed to make that leap into the profession full-time and earn a living from it. There is nothing like that feeling I get when I’m connected with the audience and I start jumping up and down and the rest of the crowd joins in on the jumping, for example. So the feedback and the energy that I get from people that are enjoying the music, is what I live for! Is it difficult to stay energetic through the late night and early morning hours? Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m a pretty energetic individual anyway! So add in the passion and energy from the music and a live audience and POOF! It’s a natural high that I ride all throughout my set! Plus each time I get ready to mix a track, it has that feeling of being a challenge and is so much fun for me and the reason why I DJ! I quit drinking alcohol back in 2003, so shots don’t apply, but I LOVE my coffee! I might have a redbull during my set if the coffee that I had early on is starting to wear off. High energy is sort of who I am.

What is your style? In terms of my individual style in music, it would have to be more of the underground Miami-type sound that I don’t get to play often but when I do, people go nuts. Surprisingly, with this influx of club music becoming so mainstream lately, people don’t seem to mind me pushing the envelope a little and playing something that they might NOT hear on the radio. What do you do in your free time? Because I earn a living from working in bars/clubs, most of the time it’s actually the last place you’ll find me. Unless I’m going to support other DJs. I also host two Internet radio shows each week, so I keep pretty busy but I do love the water. I think because I’m a fire sign, water calms me down and provides this sense of tranquillity for me. You know, puts the fire out, so spending time poolside right now in this gorgeous weather is a favorite thing to do. I love to read and just hang out and relax on my days off. I can imagine that there might be this misconception about how I spend my time because I’m a DJ, and not to sound ultra boring, but I truly prefer my quiet nights at home when I’m off. ]

DJ Sinna-G’s

Photo courtesy of Rhonda Vision Photography

1 2 3 4

iPod Playlist 5

“Sampdoria” – Daniel Portman & Stanley Ross (Original Mix) “Natural High” – Michael Woods ft. Inaya Day (Out Of Office Remix) “Sexy” – Andreea Banica ft. Play & Win (DJ Dark & Shidance Mix) “Me & Myself” – BenDJ ft. Sushy (Wolfgang Gartner Club Mix) “Moves Like Jagger” – Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aquillera (ArchDook & Sinna-G Bootleg Mix)

LGBT BAR LISTINGS Denver Aqua Lounge • 1417 Krameria St. (720) 287.0584 • http://aqualoungedenver.com Covered patio, live entertainment, trivia, poker, karaoke, $2.50 happy hour M-F

Club M • 700 E 17th Ave. (303) 832.1333 • http://hamburgermarys.com/denver Karaoke, BINGO, trivia, drag, live DJ bar

Barker Lounge • 475 Santa Fe Dr. (303) 778.0545 Patio, old Hollywood themed, neighborhood bar

Compound • 145 N Broadway (303) 722.7977 • http://compounddenver.com Neighborhood dance bar with edge, weekend beer bust

Black Crown Lounge • 1446 S. Broadway (720) 353.4701 • http://blackcrownlounge.com Patio, dartboards, game room, poker, piano lounge

Decatur St. Grill • 800 Decatur St. (303) 825.4521 • http://decaturbar.wordpress.com Pool table, poker, smoking patio, women

Boyztown • 117 Broadway (303) 722.7373 • http://boyztowndenver.com Male strippers

Denver Eagle • 3600 Blake St. (303) 291.0250 • http://theeaglebar.com Leather, fetish, darts, heavy pours

Broadways • 1027 Broadway (303) 623.0700 • http://broadwaysdenver.com Neighborhood sports bar, weekend beer busts, BINGO, trivia, outdoor patio

Eden • 3090 Downing St. (303) 832-5482 • http://edendenver.com Women’s lounge, patio, healthy bar food, vegetarian, NOW networking group,

Charlie’s • 900 E Colfax Ave. (303) 839.8890 • http://charliesdenver.com Karaoke, game night, dance lessons, western and pop dance club, weekend beer busts, live music

El Potrero • 320 S Birch St. (303) 388.8889 • http://elpotrerodenver.com Mexican restaurant, patio, club, live shows

Hamburger Mary’s • 700 E 17th Ave. (303) 832.1333 • http://hamburgermarys.com/denver

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Great food, big patio, weekend brunch, big screen TV’s, mixed crowd Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret • 1601 Arapahoe St. (303) 293.0075 • http://lannies.com Burlesque, comedy shows, appetizers, desserts

Fort Collins

Choice City Shots • 124 LaPorte St. (970) 221.4333 • http://choicecityshots.com Mixed crowd, karaoke, poker, DJ, dancin’

Pueblo

There Urban Whiskey Bar • 1526 E Colfax Ave. (303) 861-0821 • http://theredenver.com Old West style, saloon, whiskey

Pirate’s Cove • 105 Central Plaza (719) 543.2683 • http://myspace.com/piratescove1 Local bar, mixed crowd

Tracks • 3500 Walnut St. (303) 863.7326 • http://tracksdenver.com LGBT dance club, BAD first Fridays, DJ, live performers

Colorado Springs

The Bar • 554 S. Broadway Ave. (303) 733.0122 • http://itsthebar.com Burlesque, bingo, dance parties and comedy Wrangler • 1700 Logan St. (303) 837.1075 • http://denverwrangler.com Men’s bar, patio, leather Fridays, pool tables, beer bust, darts, “Sweet Dance” X Bar • 629 E Colfax Ave. (303) 832.2687 • http://xbardenver.com LGBT bar, karaoke, Drag Queen brunch, BINGO, DJ, beer bust, patio, food

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

Bubbles Nightclub • 1010 E Fillmore Ave. (719) 473.0177 • http://bubblescos.com LGBT nightclub, DRAG WORLD, karaoke, poker, big screen TVs Club Q • 3430 N Academy Blvd. (719) 570.1429 • http://clubqonline.com 18 and up, Military appreciation night, drag show, pool, darts, beer pong, ladies night The Underground • 110 N Nevada Ave. (719) 578.7771 http://undergroundbars.com Pub style, BINGO, poker, karaoke, food, beer bust

ON THE SCENE WITH CHARLES

Red, White and Bluegrass at Charlie’s

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

Photos by Charles Broshous

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

ON THE SCENE WITH CHARLES

Smackdown AIDS at X Bar

BAR EVENTS Photos by Charles Broshous

Club W hopes to

strip away the stuffiness at Unwined

nizers, guests are invited to sample sips from 21 different wineries and eats from Wine delivered by a hunk-of-a-stud directly to nine local food trucks, all while enjoying your door, selected by an expert sommelier to tunes from DJs Clay Meador and Peter satisfy your particular taste in the good stuff. Black and a performance by Flashlights. A No, this isn’t the start of some soft-core wino game area for those young at heart will be porno, and I can’t even guarantee the hunk- available, including classics like Jenga and of-a-stud part, but what is true about this ping-pong. Unwined will offer more than lovely vision is the immense satisfaction Club 200 different wines at this all-you-canW provides to their members through their drink event, hoping to give current and simplistic way of sharing and tasting wine. future members of Club W a broad selecFor $39 a month, Club W offers members the tion of tastes to further educate them on their road to wine mastery. opportunity to order three As a further excuse to wines from their monthly sip wine without abandon, selection from around the part of the $50 entry fee for world to be shipped and deUnwined will help support livered to their doorstep. If Club W the non-profit organization the member is a wine-nube, EXUDES an of First Descents, which Club W’s team of curators UNPRETENTIOUS offers young adult cancer can help them in this sefighters and survivors a lection process by offering LOVE for a great free week-long outdoor adthem recommendations for bottle of VINO, venture experience. For an their sipping pleasure based and hopes to added donation guests can off of their Palate Profile. SHARE IT test their luck at the Club W Striving to make wine aswith everyone Wine Wall, where they will sessable to everyone, Club be able to pick a bottle from W exudes an unpretentious – YOUNG, a collection that will contain love for a great bottle of OLD, RICH both everyday wines and vino, and hopes to share it OR POOR. specialty bottles. with everyone – young, old, Promising a fun and rich or poor. relaxed atmosphere to their Expanding this relaxed philosophy to reach an even bigger guests, Club W hopes to foster a sense of audience, Club W is hosting Unwined: community and fun at Unwined, bringing A Wine Party Without the Rules, at the the innovative wine experience of Club W Exdo Event Center, July 21-22. “A wine ex- to life in the Mile High City. ] travaganza that will be nothing like your father’s wine tastings,” according to orga- Online at http://ClubW.com By Kelsey Lindsey

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

Smackdown AIDS at X Bar

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

ON THE SCENE WITH CHARLES

GALA Festival 2012

ASK A SLUT

Sassy Squatch

Winnie Bego

Zoey Diddim

Diane Tolickya

Molotovia Cocktail

Rolonda Flor

Juana Mann

Bea Dazzle

Eden Cox

Freeda Fondle

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

Let your set him free freak flag fly! If he goes lesbian on

Photos by Charles Broshous

Dear Cycle Sluts, I'm dating this guy, and every time he's about to climax he shouts out "Pop goes the weasel!" At first I thought it was cute but now it's really annoying! I like him but I can't take it anymore. What should I do? Signed, "Mother Goosed"

the veggies; a makes you slee Juana: I have consists of th groups: Bear, c Winnie: Oh a that. My bush n Diane: Can y meat? It looks a vag-itarian. S Rolonda: If yo goes the w orgasm, they w Freeda: Tell tube steak and Bea: You don't you have the p zucchini on you your back. Driv get your vegan

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hammer and play "whack-a-mole." a Bitch" Winnie Bego: gayto guys Bea Dazzle: YouFor need talk toor your roomie? is easy not picky. Juana: Oh Ho him on hisWell, own he level. If heand wants Zoey Diddim: Because we you have It's twotime for an the Farmer in The Dell, and heads to think with andand you go to fishing and want Jimmy to Crack Corn youlisten care, the And weasel do have a humpty yourhave heart. you U-haulZoey: on I think th dumpty as the cow jumps over the ing you're borin speed dial. dating a dra moon. carefulOlder whenlesbian, the spider JuanaBe Mann: gay try boy, goes the water spout – the rain wigs and the h nuff up said. try the kinkier s can't everything Sassywash Squatch: It’s out. all about putting Winnie: WTF? Freeda Fondle: It could be worse – yourself out there, with the emphasis Diane: Oh hon he could yell out a chick's name! on “put” and “out!” Easy doesn’t have the answer plea to mean you’re sleazy! Rolonda: Se Dear Cycle Sluts, Eden Cox: Because all men are pigs! there are othe For health reasons I'm now Why worry about things love the pun eating a strictly vegan diet. like Pardon andfeeling long term when youbut can have it Molotovia: I'v I'm much better, without moving in together in a week! for you. You ca my dating life has suffered. It Diane that Tolickya: It might be COMPET seems when guys find justBea: because that strong fishy smell go that lesbian on out that Iofdon't eat meat they My number is wafts call around you. Try fixing don't me again! How dothat first. IRolonda convince them that I'm the arethe Flor: Because women tooright, and same as they I just worried aboutare, what sexcan't means. peting Just for som ME! I like my je eat anything that comes be a dirty birdie and letfrom your freak Eden: Let him an flaganimal? fly! sure he will run Signed, "Herb A. Voor" Freeda Fondle: Have you tried sitting Sassy: Is he r on the washer when it’s on the spin Sassy: Spitters are quitters! No or just trying t cycle? Or buying a new power tool? wonder you can't get a second think you shoul Bea Dazzle: Bois are easy, and with date! When a guy's an animal I ero porn and th theirwait mouths tion. If it doesn' can't to eat full him!no need to discuss feelings. ] Zoey: What about offering to toss the problem is his salad? You stay true to your On thediet Weband at http://denvercycle vegan then the boys can On the Web at sluts.net. Keep questions coming to cyclesluts.net. just eat your meat. AskASlut@gmail.com. Molotovia: You're better off with coming to Ask

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

SPORTS OPINION

In the Olympic broadcasts, the THEATRICS of the OPENING CEREMONY DWARF any Broadway play.

A sports fan, every two years By Ray Rodriquez Busy at work, my attention to my spreadsheet is suddenly stolen by the realization two guys in my office are embroiled in an enthusiastic debate. They overcome the insulating hum of white noise with their sports talk. If you are not a sports fan and you find yourself in the crossfire of such a discussion, you will find that navigating it is a fine art. You politely attend to the microscopic minutia of the various stats, historical sports figures and trades tossed back and forth like a hacky sack, and though you have absolutely no idea what any of it means, you’re astounded that it’s all so consuming for some – and you do not want to be left standing with a dead hacky sack on the floor in front of your two useless feet. These creatures’ commitment to such detail must have required hundreds of hours of sports article studies, special TV programming – no doubt in High Definition – DVRing and maybe just as many hours actually attending games. At times I will see my coworkers walk by each other’s cubicles, tauntingly, the day after a game. With the mere utter of two words: [Insert team] followed by “sucks,” they begin a game of one-upmanship akin to two rams butting heads full-force, snorting with flared nostrils, while smiling. I never understood the behaviors

of the world of sports mania and I’d figured I never would. Then came the Olympic Games. When it comes to those, I’ve found myself learning the stats, subscribing to Twitter updates, reading articles and passionately rooting for my favorite athletes and top teams. I’ve never understood why I felt so enthusiastic for these sports events and not professional sports. In the Olympic broadcasts, the theatrics of the Opening Ceremony dwarf any Broadway play. Later we’re individually spoon-fed the backgrounds of many of the players. We learn from their struggles in life, feeling bonded to them, and even, once or twice, shedding a tear for them. Before each event, after the introductory movie clip comes to a close – with a frozen still-frame of an athlete posed with one arm in the air – the camera abruptly cuts to the present. All eyes are watching and waiting, with that familiar banter of the audience in the background. The athlete inhales and exhales with laserlike focus on the task.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

The entire team and home country’s honor rests in her or his hands. The Olympics seem to be filled with life-changing implications for everyone involved, win or lose. The chance to compete with the very best from every country of the world will only be presented once every four years. For many athletes, that’s lifetime in terms of competitive years. The stakes are monumental. For these reasons I am an Olympic fanatic – and I’ve been one from the first time I watched the 1996 Summer games in Atlanta to the most recent Summer games in 2008 in Beijing. That year, my friend Gladys Lopez and I were volunteering at the DNC in Downtown Denver. We had a short break, and immediately gravitated to a table near a TV to see, not a political speech, but the closing ceremonies in Beijing. It was the same way people flock to sports bars to watch games on TV. Yes, I now understand and respect those nostril-flared creatures of the professional sports world. Soon, with the beating of the Olympic Drums for the 2012 games in London, I will become one again. ]

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

TRAVEL

An ode to

LIPSTICK24

WOODLAND

LIPSTICK24

Austin

Amy Lynn O’Connell If you had a soundtrack for your life, what songs would make the cut? Maybe you would have a scattered jazz jig – you know the kind you hear some random night at Dazzle surrounded by men snapping in skinny jeans. Perhaps it’s a selection of stumbled-upon local bands that you picked up in shotty homemade CD sleeves last summer at UMS. Pause here and thank your friend with a “mixed tape” entitled Music of the Moment for that skip in your step lately. When I think of all the places I’ve traveled, one of the most brilliant places to feed the beat of my soul is Austin. I don’t claim to be an expert on the town (hell, I’ve never even been to the SXSW festival) but I’ve stumbled into some fun around a town I believe is a slightly more mature version of the Mile High. To all you Denverites soul searching for a jam to shimmy and shake to, head to the hot haven of Austin for a selection of sizzling sounds.

Strap a Gee-Tar to Your Back

Mid-week at work, you find yourself wondering if you’ll suddenly snap the next time someone asks you for a “status report.” You peruse Travelzoo for the latest cheapo trips. Austin? Click. Booked. Heading home you wonder what to stash in your luggage. Something about Austin feels rough and cartoonish, like you should travel there in overalls, whistling, with a long stick over your shoulder – your clothes dangling at the far end wrapped in a plaid sheet. You arrive in Austin early in the evening, hungry, and place a quick call to your local friend ready to reminisce about collegiate mishaps. Remaining faithful to a city famous for barbecue, you vow to indulge your inner carnivore in lieu of tofu and tempeh. You stash your spurs at the historic Driskill Hotel – a haunted place famous for the ghosts of many artistically brilliant guests. Your friend arrives to take you to a dusty joint with peanut shells crackling under your shoes. Green Mesquite, a shabby little watering hole is not far from the cliché commotion of 6th. It’s been perfection since prime time ’80s, and you hum ’88 chart-topper George Harrison “Got my mind set on you,” laugh to yourself, and point to the smoked turkey on the menu. Belly full, you request loud and live music and head down to 6th – stashing the car for the night in favor of cabs and cocktails. Recalling a recommendation from your overly chatty plane-mate, you elbow your friend and point up to a sign: Brew Exchange. In-between the stories about his failed business ventures, Mr. Plane-Mate suggested this hot spot on upper 6th that sells all local brews priced by their popularity on that given evening. You’ve never been one for investing, but bring on the bull market! You dart in and out of several seedy bars, meeting new friends and enjoying the live music –secretly expecting to see Warren Haynes busing out “Sick of my shadow” from some rickety raft of a stage. The people in this city are fun, funny and carefree, and it’s not just the copious amounts of delicious beer. You end the night at a local’s recommendation: Lipstick24 on 7th. Deemed “the IT bar” for the lesbian scene, it serves its purpose with strong drinks, some cute people and no exes in sight. Sweet bliss. You retreat to a properly air condition room, kick off your boots and wonder what took you so long to head to this city? After sleeping in Saturday morning, you head to Ladybird Johnson Lake – a pleasantly packed pool that’s actually fed by the Colorado River (shout out to CO!). Spend the afternoon struggling to stand-up on your rented paddle-boat and head back to the hotel to freshen up. Early evening, you find yourself in SOCO, a short cab ride across the river. Take a seat at Woodland, a trendy restaurant with friendly wait staff offering duck empanadas on special. OK? In. Why not? Sip some lemon and lavender vodka delight and smile with your sore and satisfied paddle boarded muscle. After dinner you decide to treat your eyes to some people watching

Something about Austin FEELS ROUGH AND CARTOONISH, like you should travel there in OVERALLS, whistling, with a LONG STICK over your shoulder ...

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

and head down S. Congress – making a mental note of all the cute shops you’ll return to tomorrow for pre-flight shopping. Your server gave you a run down of legitimate local secrets for live jazz – perhaps you’ll catch someone famous at The Continental Club. Walking up to the unmistakable sweet sounds, it almost misses your attention for looking so common. It really captures Austin’s energy as being understated and rugged chic; you never know what treasures you’ll find in the rough. Ready for one last refrain, you stop at Amy’s Ice Creams for a sweet cream single scoop and start to head across the bridge, back to the city. The buildings are lit up in full force, cars drive past you with bass booming. You hum a tune of your own design, brush shoulders with other night-walkers and let the rhythm of your feet carry you closer to the lights. ]

Looking for a few more draws to the city that stays weird? Check out a few of these highly recommended treats: 1. Chaos in Tejas Music Festival: http://chaosintejas.com 2. South by Southwest Music Festival: http://sxsw.com 3. Paddle boarding: http://supatx.com

[ [ TRAVEL + SHOPPING ] ]

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

QRAVE

Keos Marketing gives Denver businesses a unique edge

Keos Marketing .com Call (877) 536.7552 for more info.

Get a free hour of consultation and 10 percent OFF of Keo’s services:

PRESENT YOUR OFC VIP CARD! By Terrell Wallin

THE

In today’s economy, businesses need as much help as they can get in getting ahead – and you’ll be hard-pressed to find a group that does it better than Keos Marketing Group. Keos is helping businesses brand and market themselves in a way that separates them from all the rest. Using all of their resources, Keos can market your business in the outdoor, print, online and social media worlds, showing others that you offer something better. The agency specializes in the real estate industry but has worked with many others, including non-profit or-

ganizations. The large list of clients, previous and current, includes the Stapleton Master Plan, Five Points business district, Civil Technology, Denver Athletic Club and The Element Center. Owner Keo Frazier has helped provide the community with some great and innovative marketing tools including the Storefront Initiative in Five Points, which will place beautiful artwork in vacant spaces to attract customers to the local businesses. She also mentioned a social media project being worked on the University of Denver’s law school program, and a project with THK, an architectural service, that brought out that company’s sleek and modern style.

Keos Marketing Group placed in the top 50 minority-owned Colorado businesses for Colorado Business Magazine. “It feels really great,” Frazier said. “But it also makes me want even more to make sure that I follow my core values and that I don’t let anybody down.” Lucky VIP/QRAVE cardholders will get a special discount from Keos that includes a free hour of consultation and 10 percent off of Keo’s services. If you are looking for a way to reach out and revamp your business or separate yourself from the flock, then contact Keos Marketing Group at (877) 536.7552 or email info@keos marketing.com. ]

REVOLUTION

Love your VIP Card? Then you’ll be craving QRAVE. Coming soon from Out Front: A new way to experience all the wonders of the Mile High City. QRAVE and your QRAVE Card will be your pass to amazing deals from local businesses, restaurants and service providers. Discounts, deals and promotions are just the tip of the iceberg. We’ll have daily offers, year-long exclusive discounts and giveaways. Get ready to start Qraving.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ TRAVEL + SHOPPING ] ]

QRAVE

Hamburger Mary’s gives Denver the good stuff

Get 15% OFF your tab!

By Terrell Wallin Half a pound of meat in your mouth can be one of two things: the start to a good night or just your average night at Hamburger Mary’s. Then again, any night at Hamburger Mary’s is more than average. Hamburger Mary’s offers plenty of options among their signature burgers, including the Mary Burger, The Colorado Flamer and three different stuffed burgers. Not to mention that they offer plenty of meat options like Angus beef, buffalo, chicken breast and black bean patties for vegetarians. Their menu also includes sensational sandwiches, enticing entrees and delicious deserts. Hamburger Mary’s is more than just food. It is also fabulous entertainment for plenty of those looking for a fun time. Hamburger Mary’s houses Mary-oke every Monday, Thursday and Saturday night with food and drink specials, as well as a fantastic 250,000 song catalog for those looking to belt one out. On top of that, Hamburger Mary’s is the home of Denver’s only true drag cabaret experience, Dreamgirls, which happens every first, third and fourth Friday. If that is not enough to satisfy your drag craving, go in on a Wednesday night at 9 p.m. and join in on drag bingo. For those lucky OutFront VIP/QRAVE cardholders, Hamburger Mary’s offers 15 percent off of your tab, not including alcohol. But that’s OK because Hamburger Mary’s has a fantastic happy hour where you can get $5 Cuervo Gold margaritas, $2 tall wells and Coors Light Drafts and $3 house brands including Svedka, Smirnoff and Mount Gay Rum. So if you want more than just your typical burger experience, head on down to Hamburger Mary’s. For more information on their numerous events or a glance at their menu, go to http://hamburgermarys.com/denver. ]

BUSINESS OWNERS: Out Front’s QRAVE program offers exclusive discounts at participating locations across the state. You choose the discount you want to offer to your QRAVE customers – then sit back and watch the people line up at your business! The QRAVE membership is free to Out Front readers who regularly check the QRAVE web page and printed participating business list to determine where to spend their hard-earned dollars.

Get Your Business Involved In The Qrave Craze! Email advertising@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 702 for details!

TO GET YOUR QRAVE CARD … Email promotions@outfrontonline.com [ [ TRAVEL + SHOPPING ] ]

Businesses – Annie’s Cafe – Apollo Studio – Black Crown Lounge – Bonnie Brae Tavern – Buenos Aires Pizzeria – Capitol Hill B&B – Cherry Creek Optical – Complete Nutrition – Denver Boulder Colorado Reality – Denver Film Center – Emerald City Eyebrows – Gigi’s Cupcakes – Great Scott’s Eatery – Hamburger Mary’s – Hapa Sushi – 5280 Chiropractic – ITS Massage – Keos Marketing – LePeep Grill City Park – Martini’s Bistro – Planet Laboratories – Romantix – Skoops Ice Cream – SkyVenture Colorado – Shells and Sauce – Solera Restaurant – 2Wice as Nice

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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FASHION

High steppin’ Before hitting

the street for your next soirée,

make a stop at the Mile High City’s go-to shoe boutique

By Misty Milioto As we all know, shoes have that special power to either make or break an outfit. That’s why Denver guys – the fashionsavvy set, anyway – shop at Scarpaletto on Larimer Square for unique, high-quality footwear. You’ll not only find more than 165 styles of men’s shoes imported from Italy, Spain and Mexico, but you’ll also find VIP service from owners Phil and Ilene Vivinetto. (Don’t fret ladies; there are more

Strap ’em on: Shape Selection

While the squared-toe shoe may have been all the rage a few years back, today’s myriad toe shapes include round, French and classic – the choice is up to you.

Haute Wings

The wing-tip brogue shoe is a wardrobe must-have, but don’t feel like you have to spend a fortune on a pair of Brunello Cucinelli’s.

Get Up and Go! Or Not

Athletic leisure shoes (typically trainers that are a cross between shoes and sneakers) are very popular for those looking for comfort and instant street-cred.

Ace the Laces

Well-heeled business professionals are going to meetings in high-quality, lace-up shoes.

Boots Rule

A great boot can work in any season, and with any fashionable way of dress.

than 200 styles for you). Some of the brands include Allen Edmonds, Frye and CYDWOQ (pronounced sidewalk). The company also offers exclusive designs that can’t be found elsewhere, so you can be sure to find something that fits your foot as well as your personality. “We believe in always being fully stocked; because we are a fashion store we are quick to rotate our styles,” Ilene says. “Our customer always wants to see freshness in the latest design, so that is what we offer. The shoe industry really has only two

Better to go Barefoot: Don’t go the Cheap Route

It’s quality over quantity when it comes to shoes. “A good pair of shoes may not always come cheap, but they will outlast an inexpensive shoe many times over,” Ilene says. “My husband’s favorite quote is, ‘Buying expensive is always cheaper.’”

Never Forget

Shoes complete the outfit. Head-to-toe fashion doesn’t stop at the ankle.

Skip the Stinky Sneakers Shoes are an expression of your style and how you care for yourself. If you want to make a good impression, then avoid the urge to throw on your dirty sneakers to run to the store.

Flip-Flops are a Flop

seasons, and we are able to draw that out a bit by designing and having our vendors make exclusive shoes for our shop.” Here, Ilene gives us the scoop on the hottest shoe trends for men, as well as some ideas on what to avoid. She also fills us in on the five shoes that will get the job done for every fashion calling. ] Scarpaletto is located at 1436 Larimer St. For more info, visit http://scarpaletto.com or call (303) 321.5771.

Best-Bets: Black Lace-Ups

These are the best way to polish off your suited look.

Boots

Invest in a good-looking pair that you can wear with jeans for a night of fun.

Fun Loafers

No, not your father’s pair of loafers. Opt for something colorful or striped for a casual look on the weekends or while out to dinner with friends.

Athletic Leisure Shoes

Plain and simple–it’s in the name.

Choose a smart pair that work well with jeans, khakis or even a pair of shorts. “This is the shoe you will live in,” Ilene says.

Safe Choices are Boring

Something Unique

Shoes are a great way to show some of your personal style. Step out of your comfort zone and try something different.

[ [ LIVING ] ]

Add in a pair of blue shoes or red loafers–something that sets you apart from the crowd and can become your signature fun shoe. ]

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

COVER STORY Continued from page 23

Long said that she believes that there is no generalization that can be made about men’s roles in feminism but agrees that they have a place as supporters of women. “I think many gay men are badass male allies and instrumental activists in the queer feminist movement,” she said. Where is the feminist movement now? Some agree with Professor of English at the University of Toronto, Jeannie DeLombard’s view of queer feminism as “looking like a straight woman and living like a dyke.” DeLombard wrote that in a collection of essays, To Be Real, about the complexity of gender and the politics of language. Yet others are finding a deeper sense of liberation the unapologetic sexuality and femininity of characters in television shows like Sex and the City or The L Word. Talbot said that it is difficult, as a historian, to say what is relevant about the contemporary world since it is hindsight that decides what is truly important about a movement, after its story ends. Pop culture plays an increasingly-complex role in concepts of gender and sexuality, through powerful icons like Lady Gaga. There are some examples that seem to embrace some tenets of feminism to the fullest – and are certainly only possible in the public sphere because of them – but appear regressive in other ways. Talbot said representation through media is still a sticky spot, because pop culture is glorified, and often takes representations of queer-identified characters to an extreme to create “good television.” “The reality of my life is not very good television, frankly,” she said with a laugh. “[Media] representation is incredibly difficult to do well, because at some point you have to pick a face, and no face is going to be representative of all people and their different kinds of identity categories,” Talbot said. “However, I think to be able to view people behaving in queer ways, that view themselves as ‘normal,’ is incredibly empowering.” And so the media continues to adopt variety, from more physically “masculine” characters like Franky in the British lesbian drama Lip Service to successful, yet physically “feminine,” heel-wearing characters like Bette in The L Word. And the LGBT and queer communities continue to resonate with these representations, because they liberate us to be unique, and true to our sexual identity and gender representation. Activism will continue to take many shapes as time rides on and as the feminist movement continues to challenge our patriarchal social structure. And queer women and social activists of change will always question leadership. It is, after all, in our human nature to challenge ourselves, and our culture. Our country was founded on the idea that in order to create change, we rebel, protest and make room for new thought. The everlasting quote, thought to be once said by Thomas Jefferson, still rings true today: “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” In the book Feminist Theory from Margin to Center author Bell Hooks wrote: “The significance of feminist movement is that it offers a new ideological meeting ground for the sexes, a space for criticism, struggle, and transformation.” And female warriors will continue to shake things up in order to create a society in which we are all avid seekers of knowledge and visionaries of change. ]

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

MUSIC

JOSHUA NOVAK

Exclusive Interview: Singer/songwriter brings musical mastery to Underground Music Showcase By Greg Toland Joshua Novak’s music is like a buffet of time and desire. Taking on ’90s college rock guitar with a ’70s glamrock swagger and harmony, Novak’s songs deliver an infectious sonic aesthetic, while lyrically confessing the roller coaster of heartache. Novak will perform at 9 p.m., July 20 at Moe’s Original Bar B Que, 530 Broadway, as part of The Denver Post’s Underground Music Showcase and is releasing a new album later this year. We sat down with Novak to discuss being gay in the indie scene and his insistence he is not a folk singer.

Your songs have a clarity and directness – I imagine you must have been at this a long time to get to this level. I’ve been singing since I was a kid: I wrote my first song at eight. And I feel I’ve taken for granted that I’ve always known what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t realize this until a couple of years ago when a bunch of my friends were graduated from college, but they weren’t using their degrees. There was this sense that they didn’t know what they wanted to do. And for me, I’ve always known since I was a kid. I imagine that can be isolating. Finding your passion in life is part of what your 20s is all about: you skipped all that years earlier.

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Absolutely. And since I knew what I wanted, I never moved, I’ve never had wanderlust, I’ve never gone and searched the world to find what I wanted, because I knew, and I wanted stay in one place and cultivate my music. What were you listening to as a kid? I was obsessed with “Thriller” back then, and Tears for Fears, The Beatles, Elton John. Pop stuff like that. I always wanted to have my own album, and when I made recordings I wanted to make them official, so I would write liner notes and make pictures and even hand-draw the little copyright symbol. Continued on page 46

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

MUSIC Continued from page 45 I don’t think that’s legally binding. No. [Laughs] You said you never wanted to leave Denver -- yet for many young, ambitious musicians, they’ll typically leave their hometown for L.A., New York or Nashville. What kept you here? When I was younger people always urged me to check out places like that. But I also had an equal number of people who had gone to those places and were either not successful, or came back and said “why did I leave? I could have done all that here!” And I was getting recognition here; that was what I wanted and it was already happening.

sat on a barstool like James Taylor. There’s sexuality stigmas and songwriter stigmas. People don’t think they’re doing it, but they do; all this stuff that has come before carries over in their heads. I feel like I’ve fought that for a while, and people are just coming around to the fact that I don’t play folk music. Or just because you’re gay you have to be like the Scissor Sisters. Exactly. And I’ve worked a long time in Denver to establish who I am and what I do, and I don’t want to give that up right away and start over again. It feels like this generation has a broader view of what it means culturally to be gay. It doesn’t have to be feather boas and disco music – it can be domesticated and integrated into society. Yeah. I feel like there was a time when there was a “gay kit” you were handed, and you were told what to like. But now kids are growing up feeling comfortable with who they are, and families are more supportive; whereas before people were on the fringes of society – and they overcompensated by liking the worst mainstream stuff. Now a lot of the younger generation can get in to the indie stuff.

Do you feel that the Denver music scene is cohesive enough to support what you want to do? Yes – for now. I don’t think that places like L.A. or New York actually have “music scenes.” They have good exposure – if you can get it – but they don’t have a scene. When those guys from The Photo Atlas came out to one of my shows and they were like “oh, this is so great! In L.A. there’s no scene.” There’s either the big stadiums or there’s Denny’s. There’s no Blue Bird or Hi-Dive, or people playing in each other’s bands. There’s the really big places or there’s “When it’s nothing – you either do that TOO FOCUSED or you don’t play.

on those types

Your kickstarter campaign for the new album was quite successful: how is recording coming along? I’m almost finished. Probably just a day or two more to go. My last album, Dead Letters, took almost five years to finish; I was paying for it in chunks, and lost certain band members. And I still love it, but there was no momentum to it: when it arrived it was barely breathing. But now I had the funding and could keep the momentum going; and it feels really fun and fresh to me.

It seems like in L.A. bands of things it’s often get sold in a package. NOT ABOUT the Do you feel that some MUSIC. You times gay musicians will should LIKE IT be packaged and sold with because IT’S their sexuality at the foreGOOD, or ground instead of their music? HATE IT I remember reading an inbecause terview with several “gay it’s BAD.” bands” playing the True Colors festival at Red Rocks – and I remember thinking: there’s nothing other than the fact that It seems that having kickstarter really they were gay that is supposed to make changed things for you. Many bands me want to listen to them. It was like, lets seem to view it either as a DIY commuget in this little market with Cindy Lauper nity medium, or a cheap way to beg for and a big tour and play Red Rocks. When money. it’s too focused on those types of things On the surface that was always something it’s not about the music. You should like I was concerned about. But in the end it because it’s good, or hate it because it’s people are not only buying a personal reward for themselves, but they’re also bad. investors. It’s so cool to me: not only the money, but having those conversations Or like when people will support local with people who support me. People bands just because it’s local. Yeah. Or all kinds of stigmas. Like this one were reposting it on Facebook, and it was guy who came up to me and asked me taking on its own promotion; everybody about my music, and he said “oh, I’m not I knew, knew about it, or had seen it. It really into the singer-songwriter thing.” makes you feel reinforced. ] He assumed that’s what I did because I’m billed as just Joshua Novak. He thought I Online at http://joshuanovakmusic.com

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ LIVING ] ]

ALLIES

ER OVEARSCE IEN 40 Y R E EXP

authentic journey

By Jeremy Savage, MA, NCC We hear it all the time: No two snowflakes are exactly alike, everyone has unique fingerprints and no two people are exactly the same. In the LGBT community, most of us become aware sometime in our adolescence – or earlier – that we are different in other ways besides the notable and simple differences like our preferences in music or TV. Indeed, we discover another strand in the fabric of our lives that sets us apart from roughly 90 percent of the population. For those of us who discover that our sexual preferences don’t match the majority of the population, we are presented with a special challenge – sometimes leaving us wondering where, and how, to fit in. As we begin to identify attraction to the same gender or question our gender identity, most of us will react in one of the following ways: First, we may choose to deny that the attraction exists. Second, we may try to change our orientation. At this point, many different choices emerge. Some may choose to repress and hide their orientation, some choose to accept their feelings and repress acting upon them, while others choose to stop resisting their sexual orientation and live a life in which their sexuality is authentically expressed. Most of us find ourselves somewhere on this journey, choosing to reveal ourselves to some friends and co-workers while choosing not to reveal it to others. Only the individual can choose what is right for her or him, according to the way their life individually occurs. Indeed, “coming out” is not a one-time event. It’s usually a continual process as we learn to hide what feels unsafe from certain individuals or situations. Slowly, our self-expression is eroded. Some of us may find ourselves in a life where it’s not safe to reveal our tastes, preferences, likes and dislikes in our social

or professional circles. When self-expression gets stopped or hindered, depression and anxiety typically follow. We experience a traffic-jam of inauthenticity. This pause of authenticity has impacts that are often only discovered in times of crisis or emergency. In fact, a lack of authenticity often results in negative experiences in all areas of life. This imposed phoniness can impact relationships with parents, partners, family and friends, job satisfaction, career choice and emotional well-being. It’s as if we’ve placed a cork in a bottle of champagne and given it a good shake, creating what feels like intense pressure to conform to society’s demands. Indeed, the ultimate result of inauthenticity is a loss of freedom and self-expression that subsequently leads to depression and anxiety. When members of the LGBT community feel a need to talk to a professional about depression, anxiety, or relationship problems, they are faced with another difficult choice: Whom can I trust to help me sort this out? How will I know a counselor is gay-friendly and won’t judge me for revealing my true self? What if I have spiritual beliefs that I feel are in conflict with my orientation? What if my counselor practices from a religious perspective that won’t allow him to understand what I am dealing with? These are important questions that LGBT clients must ask to find a good counselor. In fact, a client’s perception that a counselor is able to suspend judgment and hold the client with unconditional positive regard is one of the most important predictors of success in counseling – above educational background, training, or the theory being used. Getting connected with a professional counselor can provide members of the LGBT community with relief from depression, stress and anxiety. As clients learn how create a world in which they are self-expressed, authentic and genuine, peace of mind often results. Indeed, finding a counselor in which one feels permission to express him or herself is just the beginning to a life where one can be authentic and free in the rest of our lives – which provides an empowering, almost tangible, freedom – and we can all use a little bit more of that. ]

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Jeremy Savage, MA is a National Certified Counselor working in private practice in Denver, Colorado. He specializes in working with the LGBT community with issues such as depression, anxiety, loss and grief and can be reached at (720) 458-3150 or email to Jeremy@getcomplete.org.

[ [ LIVING ] ]

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

REAL ESTATE

How to know when it’s time to refinance By Jeff Hammerberg Most homeowners continually ponder the question, “Does it make sense to refinance?” This article will cover the reasons and conditions that should exist when a person sits down and wants to figure out how to know when it’s time to refinance. Some of things a homeowner needs in order to answer this question are very simple and available to the average consumer with some Internet research and looking at your current financial paperwork. Once a homeowner has done this quick homework, it’s time to sit down and decide if this is the right time. One of the factors that need to be considered is whether or not the new interest rate makes sense in the first place to refinance. The general rule of thumb is that if the difference between the rate on your mortgage and the current interest rates is 0.75 to 1 percent, now is the time to start thinking about a refinance. If after deciding that the difference falls within or over that figure, the next thing to do is calculate how much you will save on a monthly basis. An example of this would be for a $200,000 loan over the course of a 30 year mortgage with a fixed 6.5 percent interest rate. As of now the current payment would be approximately $1,250 per month. So looking at the current interest rates in the market, if that interest rate is 1 percent lower or 5.5 percent, you would reduce your monthly payment by

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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a figure of over $100.00. The second factor that needs to be considered is how long you expect to stay in your home. If you are planning on moving out of your home within a couple of years than it may not make sense to refinance at this time. The reason being is that you will incur closing costs associated with refinancing. You need to get in touch with the lender to find out how much the closing costs are for a refinance. After you figure out the closing costs, take that number and divide by the amount of yearly savings you would experience with the refinance, and this will tell you how many years it would take to break even. If you plan on moving out before that break-even point, then you will actually be incurring more costs than if you did not refinance. The final and third factor is what the housing market is at currently. It’s best to look at the current market values of houses as this number fluctuates pretty consistently. During a period of decline, your house may appraise for less than what it appraised for when you purchased the house. This will then decrease the equity that you have in your house and may require you to put a larger amount down as a deposit or you may even have to pay for Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI), which will raise your monthly payment, possibly even to what you were paying in the first place. ] Jeff Hammerberg is the Founding CEO of http://GayRealEstate.com.

BIG TOYS

A Leap of Faith: With the XF Sports Sedan, the Jaguar is back By Jonathan McGrew

Photos courtesy of Jaguar

How many people know the history of Jaguar? Enthusiasts have done their homework, but I remember my partner and I looking at a used XJ a few years ago and he said to me, “Those are old people’s cars.” An enthusiast myself, I had a different perspective. I saw the lineage and the heritage of the great sports cars like the XK120 and XKE. If you aren’t familiar with them, they are worth a Google. That said, the XJ in today’s world represents the top-ofthe-line Jaguar sedan (or saloon if you want that British flare). The reintroduction of the S-Type in ’99 brought to consumers interested in stepping into the luxury brand a more affordable entry through a mid-size sedan. The S-Type represented a change in Jaguar during the Ford ownership period – a period that would lift the perception of the Jaguar brand through the late ‘90s and into the ’00s. The cars were more reliable and backed by a company that invented the assembly line, which gave Jaguar the ability to serve customers better than they had previously. Then things changed, both in the economy and in the ownership. Those changes bred misconceptions and confusion, especially regarding the new ownership, Indian industrial giant Tata Motors. The confusion became clear at a recent Jaguar ALIVE event that showcased the current line-up of Jaguar cars, including the XF. There, a friend asked me, “Aren’t Jaguars made in China now?” The answer is no, Jaguars are still designed and built in Coventry, England. This is the reason many consumers are being invited to these ALIVE events. Jaguar wants to reconnect with consumers and show that their vehicles have changed and that the brand has been rejuvenated. They want consumers to take that leap of faith to look again at Jaguar. The foundation of this change in Jaguar – to address the perception that this is an “old person’s car” – is the Jaguar XF. Introduced for the 2008 model year as a replacement for the S-Type, the XF underwent its first refresh in 2011. The 2012 Jaguar XF Portfolio goes further. It has an aggressive front grille that gives a nod to the original XJ of 1968. The body has curves and a shape that make the XF look as though it is constantly in motion. During the Jaguar’s visit to the Out Front Garage, we got to experience firsthand the design, performance and quality of the XF. The 2012 Jaguar XF Portfolio comes with the XF standard 5.0-Liter V8 that produces 385-hp. For many, that is just a number. What you need to know is how that influences the feeling of the XF. You will notice the leather appointed interior, the coupe-styled four-door design, high center console and touches of high-tech that are hard to find in any other sedan starting at $59K. When you press the start button, the XF produces a growl. This isn’t just a luxury car; it is a luxury sports car. Driving it evokes its namesake: powerful, agile and quick. The well-equipped Portfolio comes in at $67K and offers a touchscreen entertainment system, automatic opening vents for climate control, sports leather seats with electric adjustable bolsters and the renowned Bowers & Wilkins

1200 watt sound system. On the outside, the Sport Pack offers the aerodynamics package for a more aggressive look and 19-inch wheels. No matter where we parked the 2012 Jaguar XF, it attracted the attention of young men and women. The Jaguar was always a unique and exclusive car. That hasn’t changed; Jaguar is still a low volume automaker. If you are willing to take a leap of faith, the car will reward you with an opportunity to change your perception of an auto marque that built its legacy fighting on the legendary tracks of Le Mans and setting the fastest production car records throughout the ‘50s. You might just welcome the return of the exclusivity of driving a Jaguar. ]

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THE JAGUAR was always a UNIQUE and EXCLUSIVE CAR.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

PET PROFILE

Both dogs were adopted at the MAX FUND NO-KILL SHELTER in Denver. Owners Travis Leiker and David Proper live with Charlie and Beya in the Cheesman Park neighborhood.

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is a two-year-old Bichon Frise’ and Cocker Spaniel mix. His nicknames include Poopas, Doggus, and after a bath (when he feels clean and fancy), C. Doggus Puppington III. He has food allergies, which means he is on a very strict diet consisting of only duck and potatoes. He goes to doggy daycare twice a week, where he is quite the B.M.O.C. (Big Man on Campus). Even though he is only 18 pounds, his favorite activity is engaging in “group chase” or “romping and rolling” with his best friends – a burmese mountain dog, a labradoodle, and any other larger furry friends. Whether it’s his friends (both human or otherwise) at Cheesman Park, his classmates at daycare, or anyone he meets – everyone loves this little, sweet, lovable guy. ]

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is a high maintenance, 4-yearold Shih Tzu. When her younger brother is at daycare, Beya enjoys her time alone at home, where she lounges regularly on the loveseat. Beya’s nicknames include Princess, Pretty Girl, or Beya-Boo. Her favorite activities include, sleeping, playing with her squeaky babies, and pawing at her daddies when it’s time to wake up in the morning (Usually between 4:50 a.m. and 5 am. – everyday). She is nothing but consistent. She enjoys meeting small dogs, but when she meets a larger dog, Beya has one, major Napoleon complex: tiny dog equals a LARGE bark. ]

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[ [ LIVING ] ]

For many of us, our pets are family. Out Front Colorado wants to publish your pet pictures and funny stories. Email to holly@outfrontonline.com.

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JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

SEXUALITY

HEINZESIGHT

Ask the sexpert: Lube and exploring bisexuality

Top 10 most

offensive things to say to a gay man These phrases could be annoying to anyone, but we queers can be exposed to them frequently. We are all familiar with the phrase about opinions being like assholes. Well, there should also be a new quote about those assholes that love to verbalize their opinions, especially when not asked for it! Do any of these really need to be said? There are many reasons why someone may utter these – ranging from being generally curious to being mean-spirited, bitchy and judgmental. Be wary of those who may throw these comments, but even more cautious if we are the ones slinging them.

Shanna Katz

Dear Shanna,

When I watch porn, the guys frequently use saliva to lube up for intercourse. My boyfriend and I have tried this, but it is still a little painful. Does saliva actually accomplish anything? Any suggestions on how to make it hurt less? – K. J. in Aurora K.J. – While for some people, saliva is all they need to really get things going in the behind, most people (including a large majority of porn stars) need something more to keep things wet, wild, and wonderful. Yep, that’s right; LUBE. Although you might not see it in action during porn, many porn stars lube up in between scenes, and/or use lube suppositories to make sure they have enough delicious wetness to keep that backdoor action from hurting anyone. If you’re just using body parts (or glass or metal toys), silicone lube is nice and slick, and lasts forever. Otherwise, there are some great water based lubes (Maximus is my number one recommendation for anal play time) that allow sex to feel slicker while still maintaining that feeling of ... anal awesomeness. If your water-based lube starts to dry up, saliva can actually be a great way to reactivate it (rather than adding more lube, and letting things get a little too sticky and goopy, as is wont to happen). However, keep in mind that slickness is not the only important ingredient for painfree anal sex. Make sure both partners are relaxed, into it, properly warmed up/ turned on, and that the person providing penetration is taking it slow. Some people require more time to work up to anal action, and others wind up not liking it in the long run. Not liking anal is not an issue; there are tons of other things you can try, but if you do want to push forward (pun intended), add some lube, some epic foreplay and take a few deep breaths to really optimize your anal experience.

Dear Shanna,

I “came out” last summer and had a good and wild time exploring my sexuality with women. At my core, I have always known that I love the pleasure of men too. Well, my question really is, how do bi-women deal with being with a man in a monogamous relationship and never go back to being with women? Is it simply a matter of choice, conviction, committment? I just wonder if anyone struggles with this and how do you deal with it? – Bi In the Long Run? in Littleton

10. You’re a slut / whore / skank / dirty

BILR – The question about bisexual folks (of all genders) and them in monogamous relationships is one that comes up on a fairly regular basis. In my experience, the deal is that bisexual folks are not any more likely to cheat or be wonderful about being in a different relationship than anyone else in a monogamous relationship. You can be a straight person in a monogamous relationship, and still wonder what it would be like to sleep with someone else, or fantasize about Johnny Depp. You can be a lesbian or gay guy in a monogamous relationship, and still wonder if perhaps there are other fish in the sea. So while there may be that question of “what if” or “ I wonder what it would be like to be with ____ gender folks,” I don’t think that wanderlust is unique to bisexual folks. Congrats on coming out, and best of luck in your adventures! ]

friend / wife. Although some couples have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for their extra-curricular activities, most of the time this statement signals an ethically precarious situation. Secrets can be scary, especially when their partner finds out and attacks you with a large fry pan.

Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna (anonymously)? Email shannakatz@gmail.com.

9. Don’t tell my boyfriend / partner / girl-

Open / kinky / polyamourous relationships never work. Fortunately, there are endless possibilities, activities, and configurations that have equal chances of being functional in relationships. This increases when the right people get together and have great communication.

7. Who is the man / woman or pitcher / catcher in the relationship? These antiquated ideas still continue to pop up occasionally, but are more commonly asked by questioning if someone is a top or bottom. It’s amazing that some people don’t have the couth to not ask personal information, especially when it will not pertain to ever getting naked or having sex with them.

6. You have really put on some weight /

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a Colorado native, fierce femme and board certified sexologist. She believes strongly in open source, accessible sexuality education, and loves teaching adults how to optimize their sex lives. For more info, please visit http://ShannaKatz.com.

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

bird / big pickle diver The most appropriate response would be, “thank you.” As long as all involved parties are informed and consent to the activities, getting naked and sweaty is fantastic. Throw on some gear and make out with 100 people. Go meet someone new that turns you on. Keep in mind that the only way to get good at something is practice, practice, practice!

dropped some muscle / look rough. Our bodies are in a consistent state of flux, but there can be dramatic changes depending on health concerns, life situations, and focus on one set of goals over others. Chances are that if you are seeing significant changes in someone’s body, they are painfully aware of them

[ [ LIVING ] ]

Brent Heinze as well. Better questions may be asked to find out how they are doing or if they need help, unless you really are trying to be a catty bitch and hurt their feelings.

5. How big is your equipment?

I know this is a relatively normal online question and some really don’t mind being asked. Others take offence. There is nothing wrong with admitting being a size queen.

4. Your relationship is never going to last.

Although you may be correct, why would you feel the need to say this? It could be followed up later with the phrase, “I never liked him anyways.” This is usually intended to put a negative cloud over a relationship and give someone a sense of, “I told you so” if it doesn’t work out.

3. Are you clean (safe)?

Do you really want to know the last time I showered or put deodarant on? Or are you talking about HIV? For anyone HIV-positive and most of everybody else that is knowledgeable about sexually transmitted diseases or appropriate uses of the word “clean” in the English language, a more appropriate set of questions would most likely get to the root of your potential partner’s sexual practices and health history.

2. Just this one time.

This is why we have to know where our boundaries lie and be prepared to defend them. The regret and terror that can happen after we do things that may put our health or safety at risk can be avoided if we have the confidence to stand up for ourselves and tell people to bugger off when they push us past our comfort levels.

1. God hates fags / You’re going to hell

This kind of hatred has hurt so many of us. It can have catastrophic impacts on self-esteem, suicide rates, people’s actions to keep themselves safe, and the freedom to be who they are. Regardless if someone believes in an omnipotent being or feels that queer people are an abomination, there is no reason for them to spout off their beliefs. Tell them to wallow in their own pit of fire and brimstone. ] Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor. Send questions and comments to PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com

BACK IN THE DAY

From Out Front Colorado’s August 17, 1984 issue …

here were times when you’d be hardpressed to find a local woman’s face pictured on the pages of an issue of Out Front Colorado. You might think you saw one, but then – oops! - she’s a drag queen. And if you did spot a woman in print, there’d be a good chance she was a straight performer with a gay male following who was planning a tour stop in Denver. The absence may not have been intentional exclusion as much as a product of the era, the community, and the composition of Out Front Colorado’s staff of the time. Much of the news was on HIV/AIDS, which predominantly impacted gay men, and the newspaper was distributed in gay bars that whose patrons were overwhelmingly male. In 1984 – and at many times before and after – all of the publication’s staff members credited on each contents’ page masthead were men, writing to what was still referred to as “the gay community.” If a staff of men is reaching a male scene in male venues – and certainly dating and living with other gay men at home – who would be there to tell them they think it’s a problem if half of the population is left out? The very existence of a gay publication was still a liberal concept at the time, it’s clear that compared to today there wasn’t yet as much cooperation between advocates of gay rights, feminists, racial justice activists and other social justice causes. If bias has unconscious origin, it took conscious choices to change it. Every now and then you’d see a woman’s name join Out Front Colorado’s pages as a contributing writer, and it’s funny how even the male writers would start covering more women’s news every time that happened. It was also conscious choices that changed the way the community referred to itself – from the “gay” community to “gay and lesbian,” to “GLBT,” “LGBT” and sometimes “LGBTQ” or just “queer.” A good way to guess what time period in LGBT history you’re in is by which terms are used. In 1984, Los Angeles was host to the Summer Olympics – which were boycotted by the Soviet Union. Ronald Reagan was U.S. president, gearing up for a rather uneventful re-election effort in which he trumped Democratic candidate Walter Mondale with 59 percent of the vote. Richard Lamm was the governor of Colorado, and Frederico Peña was Denver’s mayor. ]

Cover from 1984

Article from 1984

Back in MY day… Got a story, memory or reflection to share from way back when? Let us know about it! Email editorial@outfrontonline.com with a 200-400 word story with “back in my day” in the subject line to have it considered for print!

JULY 18, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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july 18, 2012 | outfrontonline.com