October 2022 :: What We Do In The Shadows

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Queer & Creepy

It’s that time of year once again—Despite global warming, it’s finally starting to cool off, and that spooky feeling is starting to creep and stalk us around every corner.

Sure, the world is a scary place in real life, but that’s what makes hiding in the refuge of horror—or seeing the real world reflected back to us—even more satisfying. Whether your favorite way to celebrate is with spooky drag, like our photo shoot, horror movies, unsettling science fiction like the piece in this magazine, or just good, old-fashioned black cats and pumpkins, get into it!

Not to mention what I’m probably most excited about, which is an exclusive interview with Harvey Guillén, queer icon and co-star of What We Do in the Shadows. If that and This Flag Means Death aren’t already on your watchlist, get ready for some fall binging.

And there’s more in these pages than just Halloween—We also have an in-depth look at Denver youth drag group Dragutaunte, news, and, of course, our regular columns.

Happy fall, y’all, and embrace the fear and the queer!

-Addison Herron-Wheeler

Lucid Closes

After Nearly Two Years in Business

by Ray Manzari

As the sun sets over the Rocky Mountains, voices singing “Seasons of Love” are carried out the open, second-story windows and down to the intersection of Colfax Avenue and Pearl Street. A group of bar regulars, past and current employees, and friends of Lucid’s owner, Sage, gathered in the small bar as they celebrated and mourned the loss of this communal space.

Nestled just a block away from both X Bar and Charlie’s, the disco bar above Kyu Ramen provided, at times, a more inti mate setting to grab a drink with friends and watch incred ible drag performances. In late August, much to the dismay of staff and community members, Lucid posted on all social media that it close its doors on August 21 after nearly two years of operation.

“What a journey this has been. We are saddened to have to close our door for now. We very much plan on a comeback tour. Unfortunately, a separation with previous ownership was inevitable. LUCID will be celebrating our final day this evening. Sunday 8.21.22 at 5 pm. Thank you all for your phe nomenal support,” the social media post reads.

This is a seemingly abrupt end to a space that provided a home for many. Lucid’s almost-nightly shows featured some of Denver’s most entertaining drag, including but not limit ed to Simon Paul, Patricia Del Rosario, and Samora Kash.

The mood at Lucid on its final night was not just one of sad ness but of celebration, reflection, and community. Lucid was host to not only countless drag shows but fundraisers for critical organizations, queer speed dating, and even this year’s Pridefest Main Stage auditions.

For its last night open, patrons of Lucid spent it much like they’d spend any night at Lucid: surrounded by good peo ple, watching fantastic drag. Those wishing to say goodbye to the venue took to the floor for one last time, pouring their emotions into heartfelt performances.

“Wherever you are in your life, wherever you are in your journey, whatever you want to do in your career, go forth and do that. Don’t let this moment define what ends here. What truly begins is what happens tomorrow morning when the doors are closed,” says Cameron Rogers, aka Samora Kash, as he hosted the venue’s last drag show.

“Tomorrow is your chance to continue doing drag, con tinue raising money for nonprofit organizations, to con tinue speaking up on Black lives, to continue speaking up on Black trans lives, to continue speaking up on women’s bodies,” Rogers says. “Because what was accomplished here wasn’t just done here.”

From speaking to many of the regulars and staff both past and present, one thing was made clear: Lucid was founded on a policy of tolerance and acceptance, of love for commu nity, and a desire to give back. And as Lucid closes its doors, the ripple effects of its acting principles can still be felt throughout the community and in the lives of those lucky enough to have climbed those stairs.

by Ash Trego

Spooky EatS and HallowEEn trEatS

Halloween is a beloved, age-old holiday with origins all over the world. It has historically been celebrated with interest ing food offerings, from the fortune telling kale in Scotland to trick-or-treating for candy that we know today.

One tradition that is still wildly popular to this day is the Halloween party. This begins with the host finding the per fect costume. Next the decorations go up, and all the witchy queers are invited to the celebration. Last but in no way least is coming up with food and drink, the perfect combination of delicious and devilish to tantalize and tempt each guest’s palate.

Bloody Witches' Brew

-2 bottles of Prosecco

-2 cups of PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur

-5 cups of cranberry juice

-eyeball ice cubes

-a chunk of dry ice for a spooooky, foggy effect Dump all of these in a large punch bowl and enjoy! This reci pe can be made nonalcoholic by subbing sparkling water in stead of Prosecco and pomegranate juice instead of PAMA.

Slimy, Wormy Jell-O Shots

-2 boxes blue or green Jell-O

-2 cups of vodka

-gummy worms

Prepare Jell-O using vodka instead of water, and put a cou ple of gummy worms in each cup with one hanging over the edge. Let it set and enjoy.

Bloody Mary Syringes

You can buy prop syringes without needles on Am azon. Once you have those, mix up your favorite bloody mary concoction, and serve in the syringes.

Grilled Hot dog Strips

For this creepy dish, you will need one of those Hal loween candy bowls with a hand coming out of it. Then, cut a pack or two of hot dogs into strips, and grill them until they start to curl up. Place them in the bowel for the effect of creepy crawlers trying to escape the witch’s grasp.

Black Bean Hummus

Combine tahini, olive oil, garlic, a dash of cumin, and black beans instead of garbanzo beans. Blend together until desired consistency is reached, and salt to taste. Put in a perfectly splendid serving bowl and, using a nice aioli in a squeeze bag, make a spi der web on top of the hummus. To finish, make a black spider out of some halved and sliced black ol ives, and place it in the middle of the web.

Jalapeño Popper Mummies

Cut and gut your jalapeños. Soften cream cheese, and scoop into peppers. Open and cut Pillsbury crescent roll dough into strips, and wrap around the stuffed peppers like a mummy’s garb, leaving a gap for the eyes. Bake at 400 degrees for about 20 min utes or until golden brown. Once out of the oven, place little candy eyes on each mummy. Enjoy!

Eat, drink, and try to scare the crap of someone you adore. Happy, Happy Halloween, one and all!

“Creating certain artwork is like crafting a spell, or setting an intention. Through its creation, that energy comes forth into our physical world and helps us materialize that change we desire. By imagining a better, gentler world, we can begin to bring it forth.”

- Kjersti Faret

Meet art witch Kjersti Faret. Faret uses materials like ink, em broidery, and paper cut to craft enchanting artwork. She lives in Pennsylvania with her wife and two cats. Faret is the founder of Cat Coven, a brand that features her artwork on products like art prints, mugs, t-shirts, and stickers.

OFM caught up with Faret to see what kind of magic was hap pening behind the scenes in her studio this Halloween.

What are you inspired by in your art practice? The main things that inspire me are fantasy, medieval manu scripts, my spirituality, humor, fiber arts, and ornamental and decorative art. I love anything with a lot of detail. If it has a handmade look to it, all the better. I am realizing that I'm drawn to art and people that don’t take themselves too seriously. For example, I love medieval manuscripts because the text in these documents is very religious and important but the monks dec orated the sides of the pages with things like farting animals and nuns picking penises off of trees. I think these manuscripts are a wonderful reminder to not take life too seriously.

What creative projects are you working on this Halloween?

For my shop, Cat Coven, I have a bunch of fun illustrations that I am putting on t-shirts and selling as art prints. In my personal creative life, my wife and I are planning to do a fun cosplay for our costumes on Halloweekend. We're going to be Jack and Rose from the Titanic, but we're reimagining Jack as a soft butch lesbian.

I am also branching off into a new direction. I recently de signed a medieval inspired clothing line for all genders—It comes in sizes small through 5XL and is made in the USA. This is my first time designing structured garments or creating something where the bulk of production is outside of myself. I'm excited to get into it!

by Teague McDaniel

Tails Told From the Cat Coven

What do art and magic have in common? What art and magic have in common is intention. When you're making artwork, you're bringing an abstract idea from the intangible realm of your brain into the physical plane. I think spellcraft is a similar process. If you do a ritual in the physical realm with physical objects you're doing it to bring about a desired outcome. In creative pursuits like drawing, embroidery, or playing music, you're spending so much time focusing on one idea or one action. That affects who you are and what you think about. Creativity has a very magical aspect to it in general.

What relationship does your creative practice have to the occult?

I refer to myself as an art witch because art-making is part of my spiritual practice. My own spirituality is a mishmash—an inexplicable journey that includes a lot of occult beliefs. I don't have a label for what I believe in because I'm still learning and figuring myself out.

Could you describe your art-making process?

Sometimes when I make art, it is like going into a trance, and I let the work flow through me without a direct plan of what I'm going to create. Other times, I have an idea of what I want to create, and I leave room for spontaneity. Being spontaneous when I create art work is important to me because it helps me move away from perfectionism—It is grounding in a way. I use my creativity as a way to remind myself of the here and now.

What is one thing that you would share with people who want to start or expand their own creative prac tice?

Starting simple is important. You don't need fancy stuff. For example, if you have a sketchbook you could commit to drawing for 10 minutes a day. If you can, slowly bulk it up to 20 then 30 minutes. Creativity is like a muscle and the more you work it the easier it gets to sit down and create.

You can find more of Faret’s art on Instagram through @cat_coven or head to her website catcoven.com.

Dragutante Fundraises to Make Queer Dreams Come True

by Ray Manzari

Dragutante is one of the first organizations spe cifically designed to provide a safe space for kids under 18 who want to perform in drag. Founded by Robin Fulton and her son Jameson, aka Oph elia Peaches, in 2017, Dragutante has since been featured at Denver Pridefest as well as in a reality series on Discovery+, Generation Drag.

“I had a 13th birthday, and I told my mom I wanted to have a drag queen birthday party. So we had a makeup artist friend do my drag makeup and put me in this peach-colored wig with

a tiara on my head and goodwill dress, and I went and watched a drag show at Hamburger Mary's, and I just felt like myself,”

Ophelia Peaches tells OFM

“I know a lot of queens will say that ‘When I put drag on for the first time, I felt like a totally different person.’ For me, it was kind of the opposite. I felt like, after I was in that drag makeup, I was myself more.”

From there, the mom-and-son duo sought out other kids with a passion for drag. What started as a simple photo shoot quick

Photos by Robin Fulton

ly became a massive event. This day-long event features young artists from around the country, many of whom have never per formed to an audience of this scale before. For most, this is a Cinderella moment.

“It’s usually a full house, and the floor shakes, and the crowd is screaming. And that memory is so important for these kids” Ful ton tells OFM.

Growing up queer can be challenging for anyone. Dragutante has provided a community, not only for kids who may not be accepted by their peers but for their families as well, for whom watching their children experience love and acceptance within themselves is equally as moving.

“We had one kiddo who before the show was really nervous. And they came out and started performing, and their mom is trying to video. As I watched her, she had tears streaming down her face, and she wasn’t even holding the camera so that her child was in the frame. So I took the phone from here, and I looked at her and said, ‘Girl, I got you,’” Fulton says.

“And for me, that was an empowering moment. Because I've been in that mom's shoes. I felt that overwhelming sense of, ‘Look at my child becoming amazing, becoming themselves.’ You can't hold that amount of pride in your chest, you just can't.”

Though the company has had its fair share of national attention, Dragutante is a nonprofit organization that relies on its spon sors and donors to make its participants’ dreams a reality. That’s why this November 6, Dragutante will put on its first fundraising gala in order to secure funding for next year’s main event.

The highly anticipated gala is scheduled to be held at The Studio Loft at the Ellie Caulkins Opera House. Doors are at 5:30 p.m. and the event will go from 6 to 9 p.m. Guests can expect to brush elbows with some of the most talented drag kids in the country while supporting an amazing cause.

For more details and ticket information visit dragutante.org, or follow them on social media @dragutante.

Photos by: Lucyfer Photography Location: Seventh Circle

Models: La Vladimira X, Lazarus Rise, Marionette Clown Toy, Tequila, and Void Phlux.

Devil Party

HarvEy Guillén

is Stepping Out of the Shadows and Into the Spotlight

by Denny Patterson

Not only was Season Four of FX’s hit comedy What We Do in the Shadows a wild ride for audiences, but it was a turning point for fan-favorite character Guillermo de la Cruz.

Viewers have constantly questioned the human famil iar’s sexuality throughout the seasons, and the truth was finally revealed in the episode “Pine Barrens,” in which Guillermo reconnects with his biological family for the first time in 12 years and invites them to the home of his vampiric found family. And then came the moment we’ve all been waiting for—Guillermo is gay.

Played by queer, Latinx actor Harvey Guillén, he says saying the words “I’m gay” have been a long time com ing. He was excited to sink his teeth into Guillermo’s love life and delicately craft the story. These new layers and insight into the Van Helsing descendant will mark the latest evolution of a character who has been ac quiring greater self-image and agency.

Guillén took some time to talk more about Guillermo’s revelation with OFM, as well as his own coming out ex perience, the uplifting portrayal of a Mexican-descent family, and how his role is inspiring other queer Latinx people.

Congratulations on another successful season of What We Do in the Shadows! Thank you! It’s been a crazy ride.

For those who have not yet watched the show, what makes it worth checking out?

What's great about the show is that it's so silly in its format, but it has wonderful, touching moments. This season alone with Guillermo’s storyline—What I love about Taika and Jermaine creating this world is that they use humor as the silliness and the pun of it all, but in a way, it’s also kind of social commentary. Very much like things that we currently do, but it’s a group of vam pires sitting together. So, I think it’s worth watching if you'd like to have a good laugh and escape, and I think we've all learned that we can all use an escape.

In a way, would you say this show has kind of reener gized and given new life to the vampire trope?

I think so. The (genre) has always been alive and well, but I think every so often, maybe every decade, a new thing will come up and completely take over. A decade ago, that would have been Twilight, and everyone was infatuated with it. I pride myself on being a part of the lineage of vampire tropes in storytelling, and we’re do ing it in a way that’s never been done before. I've never seen anything like our show on the air. When you start something new, you think,"Is this going to pan out?"

I always thought this was such a great show, but my mind always went, will people get it? Because it’s so cool.

What have you enjoyed the most about playing Guill ermo?

Watching him grow and knowing that there are fans out there who relate to him in every way. Whether you’ve been overlooked for a promotion at your work place, you’re questioning your sexuality, you’re in love with someone from afar but don’t have the guts to say it—So much is encompassed into this character. If you look back, there's never been a character like Guiller mo on TV. He starts out so submissive and ends up be ing so powerful, and the trajectory of Guillermo these last four seasons have been amazing. The writers on our show are the best.

Obviously, the big hoorah for your character this season was Guillermo revealing that he is gay and coming out to his family. How long has this coming out scene been in the works? It’s so funny because they don’t tell me anything ahead of time, so I found out at the table read. That’s when Guillermo came out to me (laughs). I always thought we were getting close, though. Last season, he almost came out at the casino in Atlantic City, and that was the first time the vampires were really leaning in, lis tening, and giving Guillermo their attention. He’s nev er had a court with them. They’ve always dismissed him and treated him like shit. Guillermo finally feels comfortable, but true to the nature of our show, Sean

Stock Images

Rinaldi, the neighbor, comes in and ruins the mo ment. Like, wow, he was so close, and people really wanted to know what he was going to say.

It's all about the right timing, and this was the mo ment Guillermo felt safe to do it. In a way, he also uses this moment as a tool because both his chosen family and biological family were at war and about to hurt each other. He stood in the middle of them and laid it all out on the table. He’s like, “I don’t live in this house; I don’t work at the railroad track; I want to be a vampire, and she’s not my girlfriend because I’m gay.” When he blurts that out, it kind of decompresses the situation. It was a beautiful moment.

What kind of impact do you hope Guillermo's com ing out had on viewers, especially younger ones?

I want this to be a reminder that there is a place for every queer kid in this world. I know that may not always seem like the case, and it blows my mind to think that there are kids out there who live in fear and can’t be their authentic selves. So, I want the character to remind them that you are powerful. Do not give that power away, and do not let someone else define who you are. If you’re queer, come out when you feel the time is right, and know that you’re meant to be loved, succeed, and thrive. You are a part of our world, and there’s a place for you.

I also love that the scene showcases an uplifting portrayal of a Mexican-descendent family. How im portant was that for you?

Very important! Being Mexican myself and growing up in a very machismo culture, it can be hard com ing out to your family. I was a victim of what that looked like at a young age when I was trying to play trucks with a neighbor. The boys were like, "We can't play with you because our brother says you're a 'mar iposa,'"which is basically a derogatory word about being gay. I didn’t understand that, and then they threw rocks at me. I ran back home covered in dirt and blood, covering my eyes and crying, not under standing why these boys did this to me.

My mom asked what happened, and I told her these kids called me a “mariposa.” Why did they call me that? I could see in her face that she knew what that was. She then controlled the narrative and was like, “Who cares what they call you? Butterflies are beau tiful!” She took that power that they had taken from me. She said, “Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. You’re beautiful.” That is what I want the character to portray to other people. Whether you’re Latinx, non-Latinx, POC, a person of size, queer—You are all welcome and loved. Who gives a fuck what people say? You’re a beautiful butterfly, and you were meant to fly.

Doing my research for this interview, I read that you handled Guillermo's coming out story authentically and with fragile hands. Can you talk more about that?

For me, it was very important that if we did this, it had to feel or ganic to the character. It was when they felt the timing was right, not someone outing them. Guillermo was finally in a situation where he felt he could say it, and it was almost like he couldn’t hold it in anymore. I mean, the lies had piled on. He lied about living in the mansion; he lied about being promoted from Panera Bread to the railroad track, which is unheard of (laughs); he’s wearing Ver sace; he lied about Nadja being his girlfriend. The guy couldn’t take it anymore, and just thinking about it makes me hyperventilate.

It was important that it needed to come across as something that was necessary for him to do, and I think the writers did a fantastic job. At first, it was kind of a parallel looking in the mirror kind of situation. After we did the first take, it felt too close to home, and I remember completely bawling. It was like I was coming out again, but when I came out, I didn’t cry. It was weird because I was like, “Is this what it was supposed to be like?” Then Myrna Cabello, who plays my mom on the show, started crying, and then my whole fam ily started crying. Everything happened organically.

Photos by Irvin Rivera

May I ask what your own coming out experience was like?

I never officially came out because I was just always myself. At some point, people would be like, “Oooh,” because we’d be talking about something, and I made it very clear that I’m queer. I was never hiding, so I thought people already knew, but then I realized that people don’t truly know until you say it. To this day, I still have people reach out saying they read an article, and they’re like, “Wait, I didn’t know that!” I’m like, you sometimes really have to spell it out for people (laughs).

So, I realized that coming out isn’t really about you. It’s usu ally for someone else. It gives them comfort knowing how to maneuver through these waters, and for me, it was my mom because she knew when I was 6, when those boys called me that name. Like, she knew. “Una madre sabe” is an old Spanish saying for “a mother knows,” and I actually added that in the scene with Myrna. It’s such a tagline. A mother always knows, and I thought my mom always knew because we never addressed it.

I think it was more for her own peace of mind because I re member sitting at a table with her in high school, and she was mentioning my friend being like, “She’s so pretty.” I was like, “Oh my gosh, yes, she’s gorgeous!” She asked if she had a boyfriend and I said I didn’t think so, and she goes, you should ask her. I thought she was joking. Like, “Mom, are you joking? You know I’m queer, right?" She goes, “Oh! I don’t care, as long as you’re happy.”

At that moment, it was more like she needed to just check that off. She needed to hear it, and as soon as that happened, it was done. Funny enough, that friend also turned out to be gay, so I don’t think it would have worked out well (laughs). She’s my lesbian friend. But it’s funny that she just needed to hear that. She was very supportive, and I’ve been fortunate enough to have that trajectory. I don’t give a fuck what you have to say about me. I’m living my life and thriving!

Now that Guillermo is out loud and proud, and the show has been renewed for a fifth and sixth season, what direc tion would you like to see this character headed in? That’s a great question. I really want him to find his core of what makes him happy. I think we saw a glimpse of it in this season. He’s been talking to a secret person from London, which I think makes him happy, and we’ll see how that goes. He’s also been learning new techniques and coming into his own. He’s feeling happy and owning his space. He’s really kind of discovering who Guillermo is.

For so long, he thought being a vampire was perfection, and it’s what he wanted. I believe I gave the backstory that Guillermo was kind of bullied a lot in school, and he escaped through movies. He watched a lot of them. He loves Inter view with the Vampire, and I think he saw vampires as the ultimate, sexy character trope. You live forever; you have all the money in the world; you love; you lust; you wear fabu lous clothes; you travel the world, and you’re a party animal.

He wants to live this aspirational life, but then finding out that he’s a Van Helsing, he’s actually more powerful than any

of the vampires in the household. He’s already taken Nandor down twice and let him live twice, and that’s an accomplish ment in itself. We sometimes don’t realize how powerful we are because we always aspire to be something else. We want to be thinner, richer, taller. You’re more powerful in the space that you’re in now, baby. You just have to allow yourself to realize it.

When I interviewed you last year, you said that Guillermo is an inspiration for other queer Latinx people. Do you still believe this is the case?

Absolutely, and I think now more than ever. We recently did Comic Con San Diego, and the amount of cosplayers and people who showed up said nothing but the nicest things. They’ll show up to the signing booth and whatnot with tears in their eyes saying, “I’ve never seen anyone in the goth world or in horror comedy who’s Latinx.” Think about it. There really isn’t a genre where you see characters like that thrive. When you try to think of horror comedy with Latinx actors, nothing really comes to mind because it’s very few and far between, but there’s a huge fanbase.

Not just for Latinx people, but queer people, POC, people of size—We always look for these characters because it’s an es cape. For so long, we were those characters, and we still are. We’re the ones who are being chased through the town with torches because we’re different. We long to escape from that world, but the real question is, who’s the monster? The one who’s being chased with the torches, or the person holding the torch?

What are some future goals you hope to accomplish with your career and platform? Obviously, I hope to continue doing what I love, and I hope to play characters that redefine how you see actors who look like me. Actors tend to be put in a box. I would like to sink my teeth into something different for the next round. Don’t get me wrong, I love, love comedy, but I do love doing serious stuff as well.

Maybe I can play a serial killer or something a little darker. As an artist you’re supposed to challenge yourself and play different parts, so we need to stop putting people in boxes. I know I can do the comedy thing all day long, but it’s fun to stuff where people are like, “I didn’t know that was you!” I love when people say that.

Before we wrap up, are there any other upcoming projects or anything else you'd like to mention our plug? Yeah, I’m very excited about the after show we’ve created this season called Behind the Shadows. It’s a podcast, so you can listen to it wherever you get your podcasts or watch the ep isodes on YouTube. We have great celebrity guest stars and fans come on, like Trixie Mattel and this year’s All Stars win ner, Jinkx Monsoon, and we talk about the show and how much they love it. It’s really good, so definitely check that out!

Stay up-to-date and connect with Guillen on Twitter and Instagram @harveyguillen, and TikTok @harvey_guillen. What We Do in the Shadows is available to stream on Hulu.

by Ingomu

ASK A COACH

Welcome to Ask a Coach, where Ingomu coaches answer your questions about life, work, wellness, or matters of the soul. Share your question with us at coaches@ingomu.com, and we’ll answer them here.

My team at work is quite diverse agewise. I am adopting new pronouns. A few team members have accused me of being "woke." I want to be a team player but also be respected. What should I do?

- Jessica B. (they/them)

Congratulations on adopting your pro nouns! The question that you should perhaps need to address with your team members is the importance of why you are adopting new pronouns. This will show it isn’t to be “woke” and highlight the importance of how we need to respect people’s gender iden tities. In turn, invite them to do the same. This could be an opportunity for you to show up as an example of affect ing positive change in your workplace. Who knows, maybe even the adoption will be across the board. It starts with you. Go and make a difference.

- Coach Karen Erasmus (she, her, hers, neurodivergent)

Stand your ground, and respect oth ers for who they are, where they are at. Hurt people hurt people. Don't make what they are saying mean anything about you. Before communicating with anyone, let go of any charge or judgment you are feeling. Don't take it personally. What they said says more about them than it does about you.

It's important to communicate from a neutral space, even a compassionate space if you can. If you feel to share, then share that this is a personal deci sion that feels right to you. And, some times it's best to let things slide and simply carry on being kind, compas sionate, and generous.

In other words, wrap your loving arms around the kids inside of you that are fearful, and drop any negative feelings about yourself and the team members who made these comments. The only person we can change is ourselves. If you don't give their comments any en ergy, they have nowhere to go. There's nothing to keep the conversation going

if there's nothing in you that's afraid or upset. We can't make everyone happy, but we can honor and respect where they are coming from as we give the same courtesy to ourselves.

- Coach Arlene Cohen Miller, JD, PCC

I've been asked what my "why" is in a few job interviews as of late, and I don't have an answer. How do I define my "why" authentically?

- Matthew F.

Imagine you can hear everything being said about you at your funeral. Out of everything being said, what's the one thing that makes you feel best about yourself? If you can answer that honest ly, you'll have a good understanding of your "why." If you want more help, ask a friend (or friends) to tell you all the things they like about you, and notice which one feels best to hear.

- Coach Christopher Weals

If you’re still figuring out your “why,” a good workaround is to dig deeply into your values and identify how they serve others. If you haven’t fully connected your values to your job or career, that’s OK. Knowing what really motivates you with more clarity might send you in a surprising new direction!

Take three slow, deep breaths to calm your nerves. Forget about your career for a minute. In life, what lights you up? Ask what about it is meaningful. You love hiking. Why? Because you love be ing in nature. What does that give you? A sense of harmony and peace. What’s important about harmony and peace? It’s restorative and clears your head. Why is that important? Because you value wellbeing. What does that bring? People tell you they feel calm around you and you like being that kind of re source.

To translate that to a job interview an swer, you could say, “I value wellbeing, and friends and colleagues tell me they feel more grounded around me, which positively impacts office culture.” Iden

tify what you love; see how it serves oth ers; then translate that to your profes sionalism! See how that worked?

- Coach Jacqueline Delibes

We are understaffed, and I have to add more tasks to my to-do list to get the job done, but never feel the job is done. What is the best way to prioritize my to-do list?

- Hannah P.

You are not alone! I often feel this way and work with others who do as well. It can be helpful to know that you aren’t the only one dealing with something. Now to answer your question, the first thing I recommend is to narrow down your list by eliminating items you know you won’t get to (and don’t need to get to) in the next two to three weeks. Place those items on a separate list, and pull from it when you have more time and/ or when they become more urgent.

Next, look at what’s left on your list, and jot down your deadline for getting each thing done. Items with a fast-approach ing due date should be prioritized high er. For tasks that you have more time to complete, I suggest breaking them down into smaller chunks and work ing a bit on them daily. Lastly, prioritize things on your list that you don’t want to do over things you find more enjoy able. That way at the end of the day when we’re usually more tired, the tasks you have left will be ones you like to do.

- Coach Sara Morenc

Here at Ingomu, we uplift humankind by making a positive difference in the lives of many. Via the Ingomu App, we provide holistic and equitable coaching in the areas of life, work, wellness, and soul to

Unexpected Ghostly Pleasures

I can’t believe I agreed to move to this house. I love my husband, and I’m sure he got a great deal, but now I think I know why. This house is creepy, and I keep feeling like I have eyes on me. As I walked out of the shower, I noticed a man standing outside of the bedroom, and he motioned for me to follow him as he walked into the room. I blinked, and all of a sudden, a woman was standing outside of the bedroom too. She motioned for me to follow her as well.

I walked into the bedroom, and the man and woman were gone. I swear they went into the room. I jumped onto the bed and laid back with my legs hanging over the edge. I closed my eyes and moved my arms behind my head. I heard my husband walk into the room and start to take off his clothes. He asked me how my day was, and I told him I think I might be going crazy because I’m starting to see things that aren’t really there. He told me not to worry, that It’s probably the stress of the move. He gave me a kiss and left to take a shower.

It’s starting to feel a bit colder. I heard my husband coming back from the bathroom, so I shouted and asked if he could light the fire. I heard the fire start up, and I said the house may be creepy, but I’m sure glad the master bedroom has a fireplace. He said, “Me too,” as I started to feel him graze his hand along my leg.

I smiled as I felt my pants being unbuttoned. “Feeling in the mood, babe?” He started to slide my pants down, and I started to feel myself up. He told me to keep my eyes closed, and I told him that sounded great to me as long as he kept it up. He pulled my arms up to the head of the bed and tied them down. He slid my underwear off, and I felt his tongue slowly run up my shaft. I asked my kinky husband what he had planned.

He didn’t answer, so I asked again. I heard footsteps, and my husband said, “Well, I see someone is in the mood.” I opened my eyes, and my husband was standing in the doorway. He asked me how I tied myself up, and I told him, “That’s not funny.”

by Alex Burnel

“What do you mean?”

“You were the one who tied me up, so you should know why I’m laying like this,” I shot back. From the look on his face, he had no idea what I was talking about.

I felt hands sliding up my thighs. “Babe something is hap pening. I feel hands running along my legs.”

“Who’s there! Show yourself!” He yelled.

Suddenly, the woman I saw before was now sitting in the chair across the room. I asked if she was the woman I saw in the hall and if she was the one who tied me up and re moved my pants and underwear. She said yes to the first questions and no to the other two.

“The one responsible for tying you up and taking off your pants was my love—He really enjoys being with men.”

Right as she finished talking, I could feel a mouth slide over my shaft and begin to suck my cock. I started to breathe heavily as my cock started to get harder. I told my husband that something was happening and it felt like I was getting head. He rushed to the bed and patted the bed and felt no one, then jumped onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me.

“Whoever is doing these things, show yourself!” he yelled. As he asked this, he felt a hand gently remove his towel. As the towel came off, my husband's cock began to get hard, and his head fell back. He told me it was happening to him now as he pulled me close. Whoever was going down on him was switching back and forth between his cock and mine. A man’s voice softly came out of nowhere and asked if we wanted it to stop. My husband and I were clearly both enjoying it, and we looked at each other and said no, we could keep going.

I’m not sure why, but it was kind of hot. The oral started up again, and my husband leaned into me as we started

to make out. My husband pulled back a little and looked into my eyes and asked, “Are we really doing this?” and I answered, "I guess so." Suddenly the invisible man appeared, his mouth still around my cock. It was the man I saw earlier.

He moved to stand at the end of the bed, and I could see he was now not wearing clothes. He told me to turn over and get on my knees, and before I could say I couldn’t because I was tied up, the wom an was by the head of the bed and setting my arms free. I turned over and got on my knees, and the man told my husband to slide his tongue in my ass to get my hole ready. I love when my husband rims me, and he always knows how to work my hole. The man started to rim my husband, and we knew what was about to happen. We fully wanted it.

The sexy man told my husband to slide his cock in me and to get ready for his cock. My husband and I glanced to see that the man was really hung, and both of our jaws dropped. The three of us were now all connected, and it felt amazing. With every thrust into my hole, my husband also slid back onto that huge cock. The woman walked over to us, also naked now, and asked her love if he was enjoying himself. He said very much so, and they began to make out.

While he thrusted into my husband’s hole, he massaged the wom an’s breasts as they kept kissing. My husband was getting close, and the man told him to not stop and keep going as he thrusted harder himself. My man let out one of the loudest moans I think I’ve ever heard him make.

My husband’s body started to shake from his massive orgasim as he held me close and softly said he loves me. My man gently slid out of my hole as the man slid out of his. My husband laid next to me as the sexy man slowly slid his cock into my hole. I now had a better look of him as he thrusted harder. His hair had an older style to it, and he had a jaw that could cut glass and brown hair, brown eyes, and a body statues are designed from. He was more beautiful up close, and his cock felt amazing.

The woman walked back over and started to make out with her man again, and I could tell he was getting close by the increased speed of his thrusts. My body started to tense up as I started to get close, and my husband could tell and started to suck my cock. The man pulled his love’s face in tight as I could feel him release into my hole. I grabbed the mattress as I started to cum and said, “Babe, I’m cum ming!”

My man’s mouth stayed over my shaft until I stopped shaking. My husband came up to my lips and gave me a wonderful kiss. He leaned back as we looked into each other’s eyes. He laid back next to me, and we looked down to see that the couple were now gone. We looked at each other with shock in our eyes. We glanced around the room, and I noticed an old painting on the wall. It was of the same couple we just saw, but they were dressed in very fancy older clothes, and the painting was a bit faded. I looked into my husband's eyes and said, “Who knew this house came with that?” He replied, “I definitely didn’t see that in the listing!”

Horoscopes

October 2022

by Alanna L.P.

Welcome to Alanna L.P.’s Uplifting Horoscopes. These are very general readings that will resonate with many but not all of you. That’s OK! Take away what makes sense, and leave what doesn’t behind. If you want a deeper understanding of what to expect this month, read your sun sign, your rising sign, and your moon sign.

You can find what these are by going to cafeastrology.com to get a free birth chart reading.

Aries

Relationships are front and center for you this month, dear Aries. It’s time to deepen connections if you’re looking for something serious. But the level of intimacy you desire won’t be possible without compromise.

Mantra: I’m ready to go deeper.

Taurus

October is all about manifesting your ideal future, dear Taurus. Whether it’s with a business partner or a life partner, someone is ready to help you succeed! For those of you who have been burnt, it’s OK to trust again.

Mantra: The future is in the possibilities of tomorrow, not in the past.

Gemini

This month, dear Gemini, you’re being called to have fun! Whatever you do, do it with a sense of play, and you’ll find yourself having a ball—even when you’re doing things you’d rather not be doing. Combining finances with a partner could be just the thing you need to help you achieve your goals.

Cancer

It’s time to be yourself and believe in yourself, dearest Cancer. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. If you feel stuck, sometimes the only way to get through something is to go through it.

Mantra: “I’ve got all my life to live, And I’ve got all my love to give, I will survive, I will survive, hey hey.” – “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor

Leo

You’re a force to be reckoned with because you don’t know when to quit, dear Leo. It’s time to turn down the volume, find some peace and quiet, and pamper yourself. If you’re feeling lost, taking a time out could be very illuminating.

Mantra: Even lions need cat naps.

Virgo

Learn to love yourself this month by setting healthy boundaries, dear Virgo. Dress up; look sharp; dust off your confidence, and you’ll find yourself attracting the right people. Most of these new connections will be rewarding, but remember, not everyone who wants your attention deserves it.

Mantra: My high standards are my shield.

Libra

Happy birthday to all my October Libras! We love how you bring the world into balance. You’ve earned your reward for the hard work you’ve been doing on yourself. If your circle feels small, that’s OK. It’s all about the quality of the company you keep, not quantity.

Mantra: You can’t choose the people around you, but you can change your friends and lovers.

Scorpio

Happy birthday, Scorpio! We love you because you keep us guessing. But enough is enough! Now is a good time to make that big announcement. All those old problems September churned up are being resolved, and things are looking up. Time to move forward.

Mantra: My actions determine my future.

Sagittarius

Make a wish, dear Sagittarius. Good luck is coming your way! People want to hear what you have to say. You’ll find allies in all the right places. Even if your love life is quiet, there could be someone that has a secret you want to hear.

Mantra: “You might be my lucky star” – “Lucky Star” by Madonna

Capricorn

Love, luck, and money are yours this month, dearest Capricorn. You’re in the spotlight, and you’re shining bright. The recognition you’ve been craving is on the way. Get out of your own way and accept success. Surrender—What you want is already here.

Mantra: Goal-getting turns to gold getting.

Aquarius

Those lifestyle changes are paying off, dear Aquarius. They have you looking good and feeling great! You’ve worked through some roadblocks and learned more about what makes you a leader, so don’t be shy! Step into the role that is calling you. You’re going to love what comes next.

Mantra: I’m ready to embrace opportunity.

Hard conversations are easy to have this month, dearest Pisces. Love will deepen, and money will flow. Now that you feel clearer on your life purpose, commit to it to stay on a roll!

Mantra: I’m in the driver’s seat. Pisces

by Brian A.S. Byrdsong

Diary of the Forgotten

The following entries were taken from a diary found six months after the infamous New Varashire collider explo sion on June 15, 2501. The diary was found next to a burned, unidentified body in downtown New Varashire, New York

Editorial Note: All attempts possible were made to verify the statements in the diary entries. The North American Post was unable to locate the writer of the entries but was able to locate the people mentioned, though they have no recollection of these events. These entries are being presented to you exactly as they were found… No corrections or clarifications have been made.

February 1

It snowed today. It snowed so hard, and so much, that not only did the schools close, but the grocery stores were forced to send their workers home for safety. The empty roads, drowned in a sea of white, made the medium-sized city of New Varashire look like a ghost town. Drops of brown, deadened leaves dot ted the landscape. Normally this would be my favorite kind of weather, but seeing as I’m recently unemployed, it just makes me feel hopeless. It makes me feel like one of those trees out side my window as they’re being snowed on—weighed down and unable to move. Still, I have a dream to achieve, so I will press on, existing in a world that seems to have forgotten all about me.

February 19

Today was a good day. After months of sending out resumes and interviewing to only receive the news that some other lucky soul was chosen for the job, I received that very call. Stagecoach Media reached out to me regarding an interview I did weeks ago. I feared that they were calling to tell me that they’d chosen someone else to be the science news writer. Luckily, I was wrong.

March 12

It was my first day today, and everything went well. I wasn’t the only one who was beginning their career as a journalist. I met a woman named Armida. She’s young, talented, and if her intro duction to me is anything to go by, she’s a go-getter. At only 24 years old, she’s produced holo-casts, written several novels, and has been widely acclaimed as a short story writer, something I’ve always aspired to.

April 5

Armida has been acting strangely toward me lately. When I first met her, she was friendly, forthcoming, and seemed like a fun person to work with. In the past couple of days, though, she’s seemed distant and measured in her conversations with me. I don’t know what I could have possibly done, as I typically focus on my own work and take cues when necessary. I hope she can quickly get over whatever it is she thinks I did.

April 16

I got a news assignment today that kind of freaked me out. A mas sively-funded particle collider project headquartered right here in New Varashire was just completed. The physicists there hope to have its inaugural collision scheduled in June. What’s scary about it, though, is the absolute uncertainty of what will hap pen. A theoretical physicist here that I interviewed for the story said that anything could happen, from the complete annihilation of the city to absolutely nothing. He also said that the theoreti cal possibilities are nearly endless. I’m not sure how to feel, but when he told me that, a chill went down my spine, and a wave of thoughts about the vastness of the universe and possible impos sibilities of the collider came over me. I hope that everything will be fine, but as with most things, nothing can be assured.

May 1

It’s been a few weeks since Armida spoke candidly with me, and then suddenly, she initiated a one-on-one video call with me… OUTSIDE of the work channels. Of course, I answered. I tried to play it casual, as if nothing had been weird with us these past few weeks. She started off the call talking about work. She asked me how things were going, how I was feeling. I told her all was well, and I was settling into my role well. Throughout most of the call, she kept running her pale fingers through her baby blue pixie haircut. She kept looking away from the camera as if something was wrong, and then, almost out of the blue, she stared directly into the camera and asked me on a date. I was shocked. At first, I said nothing and simply stared at her. I’m sure I looked ridicu lous just staring at her. I guess embarrassment got the best of her, though, because she ended the call before I even had a chance to respond.

May 2

I texted Armida today. I told her how sorry I was that I didn’t give her an answer, and that of course, I would love to go on a date with her. I was just shocked after weeks of virtual silence from her. She told me that she just didn’t know how to act around me

after realizing that she liked me as more than a co worker and friend. We set a date for this weekend. I. Can’t. Wait.

May 9

Armida and I had our date today. She took me to this really cute breakfast place in downtown New Varashire. It was funny, though, only halfway through our date did I realize how special it was. I mentioned to her sometime back in casual conversation just how much I loved breakfast, so there we were. As ex pected, I felt a bit awkward. Armida’s the first wom an that I’ve ever dated. I wasn’t sure how she’d want me to behave. I decided to just be myself and hoped that she’d still like me after seeing just how weird and wacky I can be sometimes. We ended the date with not even the suggestion of a kiss.

May 13

The date of the inaugural collider collision was an nounced today, and New Varashire has decided to in vite a crowd. Surprisingly, I got a text from Armida to day inviting me to go with her. She was able to snag a couple of tickets to go. Despite her lack of communi cation over the past few days, I accepted. I do like her, and hopefully, this invite meant the date went well.

May 26

An anonymous source reached out to me today. I have no idea where from, but from the details they gave me, it seems like they’re from the team working on the collider. They told me that something is wrong, but they can’t afford to tell their investors. So, they’re going to go ahead with the collision. This makes me nervous. If the collision will work, what kind of things could possibly be going wrong? I don’t fully understand what they were trying to tell me, but I’m hoping this is either someone trying to rile up the public or just a complete fiction. Either way, I can’t verify it, so it won’t be published. In other, spicier news, Armida pulled me aside today to the supply closet. She just wanted to apologize for being a bit distant. She explained to me that she’s ace and didn’t know if that was a deal-breaker for me, so she’s been keeping her distance. I told her I would need some time to contemplate what that meant for a future with us.

May 27

I texted Armida today and told her that her being asexual didn’t mean the end for us. I liked her for her mind. She’s brilliant, and I genuinely love her company. I gave it a lot of thought, and I truly believe she’s the right person for me.

June 15

Collision Day happened, and I can barely comprehend what went down. Armida and I went to the event dressing in matching crop tops and thighless jeans. I thought we were cute. Everyone counted down, and suddenly everything went dark. Armida was gone, as were most of the people there. I wandered around screaming for her, screaming for anyone. I got no answer. I can see the city and find my way around, but I don’t know where I am. This place is gray and familiar, but not recognizable. Wherever I am, it looks sus piciously like New Varashire, but there’s places missing, and it's not as full as it was yesterday. There seem to be screams coming from the edges of the city.

July 4

In this strange place that I’ve learned to call home, today seems to be a particularly tumultuous day. The screams are louder than usual, and the creatures that I’ve seen have been more active. They’ve been circling my apartment for hours now, like they’re searching for a way in. I’ve been wanting to leave to see if I can find Armida, but I’m scared. I saw some one ripped apart, then disintegrated yesterday. I don’t want that to happen to me.

August 3

It’s Armida’s birthday today. It’s been two months since the collider explosion. I thought I would go and try to find her. Surprisingly, she was exactly where she would be at this hour of the day, if my clock is even right. She was in the Stagecoach Media building, sitting at her desk, editing the latest podcast. I tried to speak to her, and as expected, I received no response. I spent the day in her space. I realize

this makes me sound like an obsessive, but I’m not. I just want to know how she’s coping with me just disappearing. It seems she’s barely noticed, in fact, it seems like no one’s noticed at all. There’ve been no news stories about me. In fact, everything I saw said that there were no casualties, and everyone has been accounted for. I still can’t get over the fact that I get TV in this place.

August 20

I met someone today. They’re the first person I’ve seen since the explosion who could see me as well. We talked briefly, and he told me he’s been wandering around the country since the explosion. He said he finally made his way back home, and in that entire time has not met anyone else that could see him. He introduced himself to me as Casper, which I assume is a fake name because… c’mon, really?

October 3

Fall here is weird. The tree leaves fall to the ground and im mediately disintegrate as if they never existed. Casper says he thinks when they fall, they go back to the “real” world. I’m not sure if I believe him. He also says he misses the world. He miss es his husband. He said he’s thinking of ending things. When I asked him what he meant, he just said nothing. I’m worried about him.

November 27

I haven’t seen Casper in almost a month, and I’m worried. He’s the only person I know here… or at least the only person who recognized that I’m here.

December 25

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize it, but I haven’t eaten. The idea of food hasn’t even crossed my mind. Maybe I’ll try to turn on a stove in someone’s apartment and cook some thing for myself.

January 6

Well, my food experiment didn’t go quite as expected. I entered the apartment of this lovely couple and tried to cook some of what was in their fridge. A simple breakfast, bacon, and eggs, nothing too complicated. But, when I turned on their gas stove, they jumped up from the couch and lost their minds. They started arguing with each other about who possibly could have left the stove on. Could that be the key to getting back to the real world?

February 1

It’s snowing today. It’s a heavy snow, the kind that shuts the city down. I’ve made a decision, and I don’t know if it’s a good one, but it seems like it’s my only shot at going back to New Varashire, to Armida, to let her know that I didn’t leave her. I’m going to burn this diary in hopes that if I don’t survive, some how it will, and the world will know what happened to us. The forgotten.

OFM

BAR TAB | Colorado Nightlife

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CHARLIE DWELLINGTON’S

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CHARLIE’S NIGHTCLUB

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DENVER SWEET

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TUE: Solve That Puzzle 7p-9p w/$5 House Margs

WED: Music Bingo 7p-9p w/$4 U Call It At The Bar

THU: Karaoke 9p-1a w/BOGO well & drafts to 7p

SUN: Beer Bust 4p-8p & Showbears 7p-10p

EL POTRERO

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Facebook- @elpotreroclub

FUSIONS BAR & GRILL

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HAMBURGER MARY’S

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ICONS

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LI’L DEVILS

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LIPSTICK DISCOTEQUE

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MILLERS & ROSSI

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R&R LOUNGE

WILD CORGI PUB

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X BAR

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TIGHT END BAR 4958 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 320-9337

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TRACKS

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TRADE

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THE TRIANGLE BAR

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