April 4, 2018 :: Shelter

CO LO R A D O'S LG B TQ M AGA ZINE | F R E E

TRANS TINY HOME VILLAGE TO HIT DENVER 2018 DECORATING TRENDS ROCK & RAWHIDE SLAY THE DOG DRAG GAME GETTING FIERCE ON YOUR LAWN

Shelter

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CONTENTS APRIL 4, 2018 VOL42 NO1

6 A TINY HOME VILLAGE FOR TRANSGENDER FOLKS EXPERIENCING HOMELESSNESS 8 ATTENTION HOMES PROVIDES MORE THAN A ROOF TO BOULDER’S QUEER YOUTH 11 COLOR! COLOR! COLOR! HOME DECORATING TO BRIGHTEN UP YOUR SPACE 15 ROCK & RAWHIDE SLAY THE DOG DRAG GAME 20

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CARING FOR OUR FAMILY: THREE FIGURES OF THE QUEER HOME

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23 WESTON LANDSCAPE AND DESIGN GET FIERCE ON YOUR LAWN 28 FORMER AMERICAN IDOL RAYVON OWEN SHARES HOW HE CAME OUT 30 LAUREN KASHAN OF SHARPTOOTH PUSHES FOR SOCIAL CHANGE THROUGH THE MIC

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34 HEINZESIGHT: DIFFICULT LIFE LESSONS

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By Ryan Howe

HOME SWEET HOME

A TINY HOME VILLAGE FOR TRANSGENDER FOLKS EXPERIENCING HOMELESSNESS

Cersilla Wolf. Photo by Levi Tijerina

O

n March 1, 2016, Cersilla Wolf officially became a Denver resident. She packed up her bags, said goodbye to Columbus, Ohio, trekked across five states, and—like many of us—landed in the Mile High City. For the first three weeks, she rested comfortably in the sublet she had arranged before moving across the country. But, at the end of her third week, the subletter decided that Wolf, a transgender woman, was no longer welcome and put her out in the streets.

“I was suddenly homeless in a city that I didn’t even know yet,” Cersilla said.

“From there, I shetler-hopped, couch surfed, and slept on the streets until July 21, 2017. I got to know Denver on a very, very personal level during that time.”

On July 21, 2017, Wolf moved into the Beloved Community Village, a self-governed tiny home village in RiNo available to people experiencing homelessness. It’s the first of its kind to pop in Denver, and while they’ve hit some snags with location, the Colorado Village Collaborative (CVC), a coalition of local businesses, faith organizations, and nonprofits, introduced a new solution to the affordable housing crisis in Denver.

village. Located at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, the second village would consist of eight tiny homes, one community space, and one shared bathhouse. Like the Beloved Community Village, this village will be run by its residents—women with an emphasis on transgender and LGBQ women.

“Rent is unaffordable and displacement is occurring all over the city,” Cole Chandler, organizer for CVC, said. “We’re in the midst of a national movement where cities are making more space for capitol than for people. With that we’ve seen an increase in people experiencing homelessness in Denver, and instead of creating real policy solutions, we’ve criminalized it.”

But, the second village’s fate is still up in the air. The project has to go through a review before the city’s Landmark Preservation Committee, Chandler said. That will include several public meetings and a comment period in the weeks ahead.

“We’re about six weeks out from knowing if we can go forward,” Chandler said.

Colorado’s homeless population rose four percent from 2016 to 2017, mirroring an increase nationally, according to a report by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. A year prior, the population rose 13 percent.

They’re also seeking a six-month permit from the city to occupy the site, which is a limit required by the city’s rules.

Additionally, the organizers are working with the mayor’s office and city planners to allow tiny villages to stay in place for longer periods of time; Beloved Community Village currently has to relocate every six months.

This is something the CVC is hoping to change as they push for a second

“But it feels like every three minutes,” Chandler said.

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The new design would include some changes from the current village.

Instead of portable toilets, the village could have two incinerator toilets.

The central kitchen also could include running water and other improvements over the original.

“We haven’t had anything to tell us that this isn’t working, so why not expand?” said Kayvan Khalatbari, member of the CVC and candidate for mayor. “We also haven’t had people who got those houses return to the streets, which is huge.”

As the project continues to grow, Khalatbari stressed the importance of helping the communities of people experiencing homelessness that are hit the hardest, and don’t have a place in the shelter system.

“Transgender folks are those people,” he said. “We want to create these spaces where transgender people feel comfortable. Where they feel at home.”

On the Streets For the first week after being evicted from her home, Wolf found shelter at the Delores Project, a shelter that offers personalized services for unaccompanied women and transgender individuals experiencing homelessness. She was there for a week under emergency admittance, but was put back out on the streets of Denver at the end of her seven-day stay.

“That’s when shit got really hard,” she said.

Of the nation’s 1.4 million trans people,

one in five individuals have experienced homelessness at some point in their life. Family rejection, discrimination, and violence are all contributors to the alarming rate of LGBTQ homelessness.

According to the Williams Institute, an estimated 40 percent of youths experiencing homelessness are LGBTQ-identified.

But, the discrimination doesn’t end once they are living on the streets. Many trans people often lose beds in shelters for minor infractions and are left without a recourse for appeal. Seventy percent of trans people experiencing homelessness report being harassed or physically or sexually assaulted in a shelter.

Wolf lost her bed in a shelter when another resident reported that she was masturbating. Wolf, along with a few other shelter residents, denied that accusation.

“I had witnesses and people behind me, but they still gave me the boot and didn’t let me appeal it,” she said. “There’s not much you can do but keep moving along.”

Nicole*, a trans woman currently experiencing homelessness, knows this all too well. While staying at numerous shelters throughout Denver, Nicole never felt safe.

“I’m full-time, very non-passing trans, but I still try to look good—which has been hard lately,” she said. “When I go into shelters I’m out of place. I don’t try to stay at them anymore, and just couch surf or find a comfortable place on the street.”

Nicole grew up in Iowa, and moved to Denver in August of 2017. She didn’t account for the high cost of living in the city, and her minimum wage job wasn’t pulling in enough money to cover her $700-a-month rent.

In December, Nicole moved out of her house and into the street. Not long after, she lost her job.

“It’s been really, really hard trying to adjust,” Nicole said. “The hardest part is making sure I’ve eaten when I take my medicine.”

Both Nicole and Wolf were taking hormones while experiencing homelessness—thanks to Medicaid.

“I often had to take my hormones

without any food,” Wolf said. “It makes you dizzy and uneasy, but it’s a feeling that I learned to live with.”

It's a feeling that she's rarely felt since moving into Beloved Community Village.

Beloved Community Village Sitting at 38th Street and Blake Street, the Beloved Community Village is surrounded by a rainbow—literally.

The fence, which isolates the tiny home village from the construction ravaging RiNo north, is painted every color of the rainbow. It’s a warm welcoming into a warmer community.

Amanda Lyall moved into the village on July 21 alongside Wolf. After leaving an abusive relationship and sleeping on the streets for a few months, she had reached a breaking point. She was woken up by a gaggle of cops that morning before trekking it to the north side of town. It wasn’t the first time, but it would be the last.

Beloved Community Village gave her a family, friends, and a purpose again.

“It saved my life,” she said. “It gave me a reason to live again. I have a reason to live again. That’s how the majority of us feel here.”

The village, which is completely selfgoverned is working. City records show that there have been no calls for police service to the village since it was established. Eight months after opening day, no one had returned to living outside and three have moved into permanent housing. Almost everyone has a job.

“I’ve seen people’s health get better. I’ve seen substance abuse issues dissipate,” Lyall said. “It’s really all about the community. We care for each other; we look out for each other.”

Today, Wolf still lives in one of the 11 tiny homes that make up Beloved Community Village. She’s often practicing her guitar skills on her porch, or socializing with her community members.

“That’s the best part about this place—it’s a community. We support each other here,” Wolf said. “More people need this—especially my community.” *Nicole asked to be anonymous, and her name has been changed.

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Attention Homes Provides More than a Roof to Boulder’s Queer Youth

By Caitlin Galiz-Rowe

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n 1966, members of an adult Bible study at the First United Methodist Church of Boulder were so inspired by their exploration of current social issues, they created an organization that would make a difference in their community.

This organization would become Attention Homes, a shelter dedicated to providing life-changing resources to youth in crisis.

to Executive Director Chris Nelson, “Of course when we talk about shelter, it’s a roof over heads; it’s a physical structure and providing physical needs, but if you look at all the things people need to be well, the number-one most important thing, especially for youth and young adults, is feeling like they belong and that they have a sense of connecting to community and people.”

So what does shelter mean to Attention Homes? According

For Attention Homes, this means shelter must be more than just

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providing a building and other physical necessities. To really provide shelter to these young people, they feel it’s imperative to create a community where everyone feels safe and that they can be themselves. Providing a community like that requires a real understanding of the larger community they’re situated in, and the misconceptions that surround it.

Boulder is seen as, and generally is, a wealthy and upwardly-mobile community. But appearances aren’t everything.

“There’s a perception of Boulder, and there’s a reality of Boulder, and both are true to an extent,” Nelson said.

According to the US Census Bureau, despite a median income of $72,282, there is still a 10.8 percent poverty rate in Boulder County. That means out of the estimated 322,226 people living there as of 2016, about 34,800 were living in poverty. These numbers have likely increased in the past year as the population of the area continues to grow.

Because of the county’s wealth, there’s an idea that the youths and young adults experiencing homelessness must come from other places. Nelson refuted that, noting that he works with hundreds of youth who grew up in Boulder.

“Believe it or not, in a ‘liberal, affluent’ community, people are still kicked out of their homes for their sexuality or gender identity,” Nelson said.

The largest number of youths Attention Homes serves are those who selfidentify as LGBTQ. This is fairly in line with national statistics; according to the HRC, an estimated 40 percent of youths experiencing homelessness are LGBTQ-identified.

Out Boulder and Boulder County AIDS Project, to ensure they have proper community-building and harm reduction resources on hand.

When asked what he’d want people to know about homelessness, Nelson said, “Homelessness is so much more complex than people understand, and there’s no such thing as immunity.”

We often want to find concrete, general reasons for why people experience homelessness so we can better understand, and hopefully combat it, but like all of the issues our society faces, it’s not that simple. Of the 600 youths Attention Homes served last year, no two were the same. Each had a different story of how they had come to be at the shelter, and they were from all sorts of walks of life.

Of course, the effects of disproportionality that face people of color and queer people can’t be discounted and shouldn’t be minimized when it comes to experiencing homelessness, but Nelson wants to emphasize that most experiences are unique.

According to Nelson, the stereotypes of who experiences homelessness are inaccurate more often than not.

“The majority of people we see come through here had a complex set of circumstances that led to a real tragedy.

But the young people who need our services are no different than the ones a mile and a half away staying in the dorms at CU; it’s just a different set of circumstances.”

The staff at Attention Homes recognize that these young people need not only access to additional resources, but also to feel even more agency over them.

The shelter works on multiple fronts to ensure that queer youth feel safe and in control of their experience while staying there. Hiring queer and trans staff members is prioritized; all singleperson restrooms are gender neutral, and paperwork is designed to ensure youths can provide the names and pronouns they actually use.

While intervention is key, as adults who face chronic homelessness often experience homelessness at a young age, the majority of the young people who pass through Attention Homes will thrive and go on to have happy, successful lives. Looking at how the shelter runs, and the successes they’ve had, it’s apparent that when given the chance to have agency and input to build the communities they want to see, young people can use their resiliency and insight to create better situations for themselves. It’s up to us to do whatever we can to support them in this, and fight the oppressive structures that seek to keep them down.

Attention Homes also coordinates with other local organizations, like

Nelson put it best.“We can do better; our communities can do better.”

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Color!

Color!

Color!

Home DECORATING to BRIGHTEN UP Your Space

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Rock & Rawhide

Photo by Nick Poon

SLAY THE DOG DRAG GAME

By Addison Herron-Wheeler

E

veryone has experienced that “In the Arms of an Angel” moment and locked eyes with a sad puppy or homeless kitten, only to realize that not every animal can be rescued. But when Kylie Edmond, founder of Rock & Rawhide, had that moment, she decided that not only can every animal be rescued, every animal deserves to be rescued and dressed up in a tutu.

“My husband and I were looking for another dog, and we noticed that [at the animal shelter] there were no blankets, no toys, nothing to take their energy away,” explained Edmond, who lives in Manhattan. “It was so loud with the barking and we didn’t adopt anyone that day, but on our way home in the taxi crying, we were like ‘how can we help, what can we do?’ We decided we could get some blankets and toys and take them back to the shelter.”

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baggy of doggy products,” explained Witti Repartee of Kaleidoscope Collaborations, the queen who helps with curating drag performers for Rock & Rawhide events.

“One of the auction lots that she won was a collection of 10 or 15 necklaces or earring sets, and said ‘wouldn’t it be hysterical to see these on a dog?’ I said ‘with drag queens?’ And from that moment on, the idea for this whole campaign was born, the idea that we would do a shoot with the dogs and jewelry matched with drag queens. So we sort of split up the duties and she got the dogs and I got the drag queens, and we did the show.”

The concept is pairing queens in drag with similarly-dressed dogs or other pets who normally wouldn’t be adopted, either because they are from a breed with a bad reputation, an animal with a disability or behavioral issues, or an older animal.

The queens do a drag show and photo shoot with the animals in order to both increase visibility for the animals, and give them the one-on-one attention they need to become more desirable. Not only does this help improve the lives of dogs who need homes, there is also an obvious metaphor to be drawn between dogs that need homes and a community that hasn’t always felt at home in their surroundings.

Photo by Nick Poon

Thus, the initial idea for Rock & Rawhide was born: a charity that provides dogs, cats, and other shelter animals with essential items like toys and blankets that keep animals happy and cheerful instead of restless and miserable. Edmond realized that good pets probably often got overlooked because of bad behavior that is only caused by boredom and depression.

As her charity thrived, so did her singing career.

Edmond was working as singer and songwriter at the time, often spending time with those who performed drag. One day, the concepts of drag and animal rescue collided, and she knew that it was time to take her charity to the next level.

“Kylie was always part of my annual birthday drag show, and she would usually donate a gift 1 6 \\ A P R I L 4 , 2 0 1 8

Photo by Jessie James

Bella Noche with Kira

“A lot of people in the community have such a hard time; a lot of people have misconceptions, and people are not willing to learn or are too scared to learn [about LGBTQ people],” Edmond explained. “But finding that likeness between the two was really interesting.

People have a lot of preconceived ideas about animals in shelters, that they are broken, not trainable, can be thrown away and discarded, and we see the same on the other side where people are fearful of many in the LGBTQ community, fearful of our trans and drag friends, so putting the two together was fun, and what’s not fun about a fabulous drag queen? Their glittering glory and fabulous outfits are a great way to bring attention to both communities.”

When Edmond and Repartee decided they to curate their first drag show and photo shoot with queens and dogs, the response was overwhelming. They found many queens willing to participate, and Bideawee, a New York shelter, was happy to collaborate with Rock & Rawhide to provide the animals. Since their first show was a success, they plan to start visiting shelters each month as part of a longer photo series pairing queens and furry friends.

“When we go to a shelter for a shoot, there might be an animal that is having a really tough time in a shelter, she explained “Some of the animals in the shelter, they break down after a few days or a couple of weeks, and they’re not showing that sparkly, fun, carefree animal that first walked through the doors, so we are hoping we will get those ones in there first so we can give them the extra attention and promotion that they need. Maybe it is an animal that is harder to adopt, an animal with one eye, three legs, an older pet. Once a month, we will pair them up. We want to keep going; there are plenty of animals that need our help, and there is certainly no shortage of incredible drag queens.”

In addition to expanding in New York, Rock & Rawhide would like to make their operation national. Repartee has friends and drag connections in cities all over the U.S., and has already heard from interested queens in other cities. And she is confident that through their collaboration, Rock & Rawhide can bring the same positive energy to other areas.

“The amount of love Kylie has is really what drives it,” Repartee explained. “One woman’s love of dogs and care for them is saving lives, feline, canine, and human.”

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Photos by Nick Poon

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Caring for Our Family:

Three Figures of the Queer Home

“As gay people, we get to choose our family.”

-Ru Paul

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he home is a contested space in Denver—a city whose rents, according to the Denver Business Journal, rose more than any other U.S. city between 2005-2015.

Denverites so badly need places to live that no one batted an eye last month when both the Broncos and Elitch Gardens announced their plans to get into the neighborhood business.

For LGBTQ people, whose families are more often chosen than given, Denver’s housing crisis has heightened vulnerability and inspired many of us to think creatively. Denver developers aren’t building a city for queer people (our elders, youth, queer PoC, and trans family are being displaced more than most). Our bio-families aren’t going to save us (some of them don’t even speak to us). We’re all we’ve got, and we must be actively involved in imagining and creating domestic spaces in our city if we are going to have a place in it.

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Though homes are many things to many people, I want to focus on the home as a site of care, a place where queer bodies support and nurture each other. Care is what got us through the AIDS crisis, and the Pulse nightclub shootings, and it’s what makes us feel that we belong. If our identities set us apart from hetero society, then expressions of care are what bring us into a new community.

From Queer Communes to Queer Housing Networks The idea of a queer community was integral to the 70s queer liberation movement. Though we might associate it with protest and revolt, historian Stephen Vider reminds us that radical LGBTQ politics rallied queer people to both “come out” and come together.

While plenty of straight people organized communes during this time, LGBTQ people organized gay and lesbian communes for themselves as well. Boston’s Fort Hill Faggots boasted a twenty-person home, while the NYC chapter of the Gay Liberation Front established five communes throughout Manhattan.

Few of these urban communes lasted into the 80s, but some of them transmogrified into rural communes—many of which continue today as Radical Faery communities and womyn’s lands. These, in turn, created a loose network that continues to provide temporary housing to LGBTQ people.

One gay man in Denver, Dave*, described how the Radical Faery community supported him when he was waiting on a Visa.

old at the time) were thrilled to have a third parent, and Jeff was eager to commit to them as well.

While Casey and Fawn remain legally and financially responsible for the children, Jeff shares responsibility for raising the kids.

“I actually feel bad for people who don’t have [tri-parents],” Fawn said. “Parenting is a struggle no matter what. We already had monthly meetings and a chore lists, so we just added parenting into that. It’s wonderful. My wife and I can easily go on a date.”

Having a constellation of parents provides the kids a healthy support system.

“What I love is that even though we are a gay couple, they have a consistent male figure in their life. If anything, they have more [than a typical kid].” Fawn said. “[Jeff is their] forever their dad. He does not need to live here forever. Lots of people do not live with their dads, so you can still be a dad and not be here.”

Tri-parenting doesn’t replicate the nuclear family model, and it doesn’t rely on reproduction. By validating queer people’s ability to be caregivers and loving parents, it opens up new possibilities for family and for belonging. As it emerges as a legal concept, we may see more Denver LGBTQ families adopt it.

“I was put up during a jobless-almost-deported period by Faerie friends in Atlanta for about a month or more in the house of a cis-trans couple I met at a faerie gathering in Tennessee,” he explained.

“We’ve always had a commune of sorts,” Fawn said. “When we had children it didn’t really change. They just paid less and ate more food than our other roommates.”

“[Hosting each other] is absolutely part of faerie culture, faerie networks, and faerie houses around the country. One big result of attending faerie events is access to that kind of thing. It’s a vote of confidence and a certain understood commitment ethos.”

Dave, now living in one of Denver’s urban queer communes, has extended this practice into his new home. One faerie even came through expecting to stay for a single night, but ended up living with him for nearly two months.

These supportive networks, emerging in part from the radical politics and experimental communes of 1970s, are still providing LGBTQ people with places to live, and being a part of these communities gives people all the benefits typically afforded to family.

The Tri-Parent Household Far from the temporary status of travelers and passersby, tri-parent households are another way queer people are living together and supporting each other.

Fawn had been roommates with Jeff, her gay best friend, for years, and they had long planned for Jeff to donate sperm to Fawn and her wife Casey. When the lesbian couple learned they were infertile, they decided to foster and adopt two children.

Just months after legal process was complete, they asked Jeff if he would be their kids’ father. The kids (four and six years OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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Owning It Together: Queer Cooperatives Another way that Denver LGBTQ people are organizing their households is through cooperatives. You might think of New York City’s famous market-rate cooperatives—yes, Madonna lives in one of those, so they are definitely queer AF—but most of Denver’s co-ops are less formal rental arrangements among friends. In other cases, a cooperative house may be owned by its residents or by a nonprofit. In all cases, co-ops bring people together around shared economic interests, so they tend to be more intentional than a traditional roommate situation.

At Queen City Cooperative, a queermajority house where I live, we have a shared food budget, we manage an Airbnb together to pay for house maintenance, and we also keep a mutual aid fund to support residents during tough times. Creating a home economics system with total strangers may sound bizarre in a society and economy that favors heteronormative households, but for LGBTQ people, it’s a matter of building a world that supports us and meets our needs.

In addition to economic support, housing co-ops also offer emotional and social support.

“Life with a partner is just watching TV and having cats,” my housemate Sara said. “This life is more rich, more fun, and more supportive.”

Sam, another roommate, elaborated on that.

“Working around straight people all day is exhausting, so it’s nice to come home to a place that’s full of queer people who get me and experience the world in a 2 2 \\ A P R I L 4 , 2 0 1 8

similar way. There’s no part of your life that you need to defend—except maybe your messy room.”

Queen City Cooperative is part of a growing number of groups in Denver who are pooling their resources to rent or own real estate together. One of the biggest challenges to this movement scaling is currently the city zoning code, which is more restrictive than most of us would imagine: “In a singleunit dwelling, two unrelated persons per household are allowed, and with a home occupation permit, an additional unrelated person is allowed.”

Basically, if you live with two roommates without a permit, you’re living illegally.

Nevermind that you can live with as many adults as you like so long as they are bio-family (wife, sister-in-law, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.)

The good news for people who chose their families is that Denver Community Planning and Development is revising the zoning code for group living, and for the first time they’re including cooperatives. This is a huge opportunity for people who identify as LGBTQ to make the case for housing that meets our needs, even if we happen to be unrelated.

In all of these cases, the ways that LGBTQ people organize their homes and define their families creates new opportunities for human connection and support. Many of us don’t fit into heteronormative paradigms, but we don’t need to in order to live and thrive in this city. As we continue to cultivate homes centered on care, we won’t be going anywhere. *Dave asked to be anonymous, and his name has been changed.

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WESTON LANDSCAPE & DESIGN

GET FIERCE ON YOUR LAWN

By Addison Herron-Wheeler Photos by Jennifer Clark of Espresso Yourself Photography

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A

ccording to Queer Eye and many prevailing LGBTQ stereotypes, gay men are the very best at home decor and makeovers. Whether there is any truth to this or it is just a lame stereotype, one thing is for certain: the men behind Weston Landscape and Design, Inc. know how to give your yard a serious makeover.

“Having a space that is an extension of your home, where you can spend hours out in the Colorado climate, spend late nights, or entertain, whether with a kitchen, fire feature, water feature, or all of the above, is really important to people,” Ryan Weston, one of the brothers behind Weston Landscape, told OUT FRONT. “But we do all kinds of stuff; we cover everything under the landscaping umbrella.”

Ryan started the company with his brother, Tyler Weston. Both men identify as gay, and their mother, Leanna Weston, is not only supportive, but both a contributor to their business, taking phone calls and holding down the fort when the brothers are out working, and an active member of PFLAG and avid LGBTQ activist.

“Mom has been there to support us all along the way, really serving as that person who is taking care of the payroll and books, and got really active in PFLAG when we came out over 10 years ago,” Ryan explained. “She made a lot of connections in the community and linked them back to the business.”

A Personal Touch The charming family dynamic of Weston may attract interested customers from the queer camp, but it’s the dedication to detail and good work that really wins them over.

“I’m gay, but I’ve never selected a business just because of that in the past,” explained Scott Halford, one of Weston’s satisfied customers. “But certainly when I met Ryan and Tyler, that was a positive for me, because there is not a neighborhood that

gay people go into that they don’t make better. I figured why not have him in my front and backyard?”

Like many of Weston’s clients, Halford had a huge yard in need of a makeover. The space and the means to transform the space into something beautiful were there, but when it came to execution, he needed to bring in professionals that could make his vision a reality. In Colorado’s challenging climate, it’s necessary to find someone who can not only do the work well, but who also knows their stuff.

“Their plant people really know plants, and that’s huge for Colorado because you can’t grow anything you want to grow,” Halford explained. “My backyard has a lot of micro-climates, and they were able to dissuade me from using certain plants I wanted to plant because they would die, or wouldn’t thrive where I wanted to put them. That sounds simple, but I found a lot of landscaping people are really not people who know plant science very well, and these people do. They know where to plant, when to plant, how far, all about the watering; I can’t say enough good about them. I’ve done a lot of renovations on my home and it’s typically fraught with all kinds of issues, and that was not the case.”

Thinking Outside the Box In many cases, people call a landscaper because they have a special project in mind that can only come to fruition with the help of a professional. Marci Hart called Weston because she inherited statues from her family and wanted to find a way to put them on display.

“Not only did we take something so near and dear and personal to her, these sculptures of her father, but we were able to embed them in a landscape that was boring and turn them into this phenomenal landscape with a pool, spa, outdoor living space, and garden,” Ryan explained.

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Working sculptures into a lavish yard with a pool and cooking area could easily be done in an overstated manner, but instead of creating a pompous display, Weston found a way to work the art into the yard in various spaces, along with some really unique looking vegetation that gives the yard an almost magical feel.

“They had the job from the moment they came out because the vision they had was exactly what I wanted,” explained Hart. “Everyone told me I couldn’t do the pool where I did the pool; I didn’t want the rest of the yard taken up; I wanted it landscaped. They were able to take my vision and make it happen. The other company was trying to talk me into another idea that they thought would be better. [Ryan and Tyler] created exactly what I had envisioned.”

“I think that our ability to want to make our customers feel comfortable with us and our products and services has always been important,” Ryan confirmed. “We’ve been big on building relationships with anybody regardless of budget, where you live, who you know, who you love, and I think that we threw ourselves hard into this business while we were struggling with coming out and built this brand. It’s really kind of a butch industry; you don’t hear about a lot of gay landscapers. It’s kind of a good-old-boy network. But we we are out and proud and respected in the community.”

Realizing Your Landscape Dreams Those who have the means to transform their yards into landscaped paradises are lucky; they can create their perfect outdoor living spaces to mirror their inside sanctuaries. And the process of creating the perfect yard should be fun and exciting, not painful. As a gayowned company, Weston knows that it is important to make clients feel at home, accepted, and safe.

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Scott Halford's property

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By Lacy Bursick

FORMER AMERICAN IDOL

RAYVON SHARES OWEN HOW HE CAME OUT

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R

ayvon Owen is a young, black, gay male who melted hearts across the country with his voice. Making it to the final four on American Idol, Rayvon Owen became a household name as he worked hard to make his music dreams into reality.

A few years later, Owen came out as gay to the public. He shares the feedback he received and advocates for others to get the conversations started.

“I was like, I showed you who I was as a musician and now I'm showing you this personal layer of myself. Now you can't deny that's not the same person,” he said.

Owen ‘grew up in the pew’ in the conservative and beautiful countryside on the outskirts of Richmond, Virginia. At the early age of four, he began singing in the children’s choir, and his passion for music bloomed. By five years old, he had already performed his first solo.

“I just remember looking out into the congregation and being like, ‘Wow. People are reacting to me. They're moved and jumping and praising.’ It was like a very enthusiastic type of environment,” he said.

The support and encouragement helped him grow his passion for music and singing, and later he became a lead for the choir services.

Then in 2015, he decided to travel to San Francisco to audition for American Idol. His mother and siblings waited outside the door as he belted Katy Perry’s “Wide Awake,” hitting vocal ranges that had every judge in awe.

Fast forward to several months later, Owen had become people’s favorite. He had fans across the country making his dream to pursue a career in music become reality.

Over 132 million people vote for American Idol, and with the support of fans across the country, he made it to the final four.

“Idol was a crazy ride,” he said. “It was so much fun. I learned so much. It's kind of like years of music industry experience jam-packed into months.”

Post-Idol, Owen moved to L.A. and continued to pursue music. Along the way, he fell in love. He was inspired, working on writing new music, and came out with a track called “Can’t Fight It.” As he went to shoot the music video, he discussed the vision with the director.

“The director was talking about a girl in the scenes. I'm like, 'Okay,' because I hadn't even told him. I hadn't really told anybody.”

Until that point, no one knew that he was gay. Owen was dating Shane Crone, an LGBTQ advocate and filmmaker known for his YouTube video “It Could Happen To You,” in which he describes the hardships he faced after the death of his partner.

“I never lied when I was on the show. I never said I was straight or dating a girl. It just never came up. I knew the fan base was more conservative,” he said.

Upon the creation of his EP, he started feeling like he needed to share his story. The death of a close friend made him think about legacy and inspired the decision to come out to share who he really is.

“I don't want people to not know the real me. I wanted to share that story and I wanted to be authentic, to the fans and to the people who voted for me,” Owen said.

He told the director his situation. The director became more excited and agreed it was a creative way for Owen to express who he is. They cast his boyfriend in the video, and at the end, they kiss to the chorus of “Can’t Fight It.” Owen announced his relationship and felt great about being out. However, he received the negative reactions he anticipated. He had people tell him they voted for him, but now believe he is using his platform in a bad way. Even people from his church told his mother that they would ‘pray for her son.’

However, he said for every negative comment, he recieved more than a hundred positives.

“I've gotten a lot of messages and tweets and stuff. People saying ... ‘This helped me come out. This helped me talk to my parents. This helped me accept myself. This helped me not want to harm myself,’” he said.

He believes his decision was worth it. Owen advocates that others should come out and share their story too, because the more we talk about it, the more normalized it will become.

“If we share our personal stories, we make it real for people, like, these are real struggles that we're going through.”

He says everyone must do it on their own terms and in their own way, and try to remember that they are not alone.

“There are tons of other young, gay black men from church who are in the closet because they feel like they're going to be turning their back on God if they come out and if they accept that part of themselves. So they’d rather live in the closet and kind of hide that part of their lives and not even get the opportunity to fall in love.”

Unfortunately, many people feel alone when it comes to sexuality because they feel like they will be rejected, lose friends, or even be kicked out of their homes or communities.

The reality is harsh, but more conversations can shape the future. Owen reminds us that there is a network of support out there and those who really love you will accept you.

“It's like the best feeling,” he said. “To finally kind of just embrace that part of yourself and be open about it. It’s just, like, out there, and it's open. If someone doesn't want to be in your life for that reason, then they don't need to be."

He wanted to get the conversation started, and he did. People back home and even close friends were in shock and reacted in disappointing ways. He reminds himself that you can’t take blame for someone else just because they can’t accept you.

“I hope it just becomes a normal, everyday thing,” Owen said, “where it's not even a big deal for someone to come out, because it shouldn't be.”

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LAUREN KASHAN OF SHARPTOOTH

PUSHES FOR SOCIAL CHANGE THROUGH THE MIC

By Sean Gonzalez

T

he hardcore and punk music scenes are thriving, forwardthinking communities that continue to push forward social equality—thanks in large part to the diverse folks that occupy those spaces.

A couple of years back, I first started seeing the categories of gender neutral or non-binary being associated with artists I was listening to. It began a deeper introspective process of research as a way to attempt to understand the complexities of humanity from different social perspectives. Without music, I never would have started the process of learning, or even listening to what was 3 0 \\ A P R I L 4 , 2 0 1 8

going on in the community, let alone speaking out to have their rights be recognized.

Lauren Kashan, vocalist and frontwo­ man of Sharptooth, is broadcasting her voice—and then some. The Maryland hardcore vocalist is visceral in approach, with piercing screams and lyrics about breeching gender norms, sexual violence, and the lack of safety as a member of the LGBTQ community.

“I think in hardcore, the music that you are writing is angry,” Kashan said about the tone of Sharptooth songs.

While there is vitriolic whiplash

present in Clever Girl, their 2017 debut full-length, it is the sense of awareness attached to the message that makes the record’s abrasive nature have much more of a lasting impact.

The specifics of Kashan’s writing coupled with the band’s bombastic sound are intimidating yet empowering, as deep down the message is rather simple.

“I think the biggest thing people can do is listen to each other. Part of the problem with a lot of these issues is people have their preconceived notions, and at the end of the day you don't understand somebody unless you listen to them,” Kashan explained.

Having grown up immersed in the hardcore community, Kashan recalls the troubling perceptions of being an active female member of that scene.

“I felt a compulsion and a pressure to present myself as asexual as possible because otherwise you were just some girl who was there to hook up with people or whatever horrible shit people would say about women who go to shows.” Kashan continued. “There's also this idea that there's a girl at a show and they are just someone's girlfriend.

But then, here's the thing that also pisses me off, that also basically makes it seem like if you are someone’s girlfriend you don't have a right to be there, which is f*cking b*llshit.”

As time went on, the community surrounding Kashan became more aware of the misappropriated stigma, realizing that she was there to be involved.

The hardcore community helped her represent herself. These feelings are noted in the opener of Clever Girl, “Rude Awakening.” She explained that music is the place the walls can come down.

At the same time, off stage, Kashan expresses her feminine side and is more comfortable wearing dresses while on tour or living life day-to-day.

“I kind of almost enjoy that people are taken aback that I am not this super butch person all the time or super intense and aggressive,” Kashan said.

Kashan is also bisexual, and notes that finding a specific bi community has been tough.

“I don't really know what the bi community is, because I haven't really felt a community in that type of way. I have a couple of friends who are also bi and we connect over that, like 'hey, no one gives a sh*t about us, yay!' Even at Pride events and such. I went to the Baltimore Pride weekend and I was there with a couple of friends and the guy I was dating at the time. I was first aggressively hit on and then nullified by some lesbian girls that told me being bi wasn't a thing and I would come over to the gay side eventually.”

This is why the hardcore community, and more specifically, Sharptooth’s platform, have allowed the singer to

comfortably express the troubles or qualms that reside within her and the outside world.

“Basically getting the green light from them to talk about LGBT people and talk about women gave me free reign to be myself. I immediately recognized that it was an environment where I could be myself.”

In having this freedom, Kashan has penned songs like “Left 4 Dead” about her story as a survivor of rape, and the song “No Sanctuary,” which sheds light on the victims of hate crimes in the queer community.

Kashan also screams about the objectification of women in public. This stems from a deeper societal norm, in particular discussed in songs “Clever Girl” and “Can I Get A Hell No.” Kashan is trying to rip up the floor underneath the patriarchy, and shed light on rape culture.

“Our society has told young men that it is okay to treat women that way; that is how it has been for f*cking decades.

We are having to undo decades of progression that told young men that it is okay to, like, aggressively hit on women or that it is okay to get a girl drunk and take her home.”

Using the mic as a platform to spread awareness of these issues, Kashan again focuses on the importance of listening.

“Everyone needs to be better at listening and better at asking ‘What can I do?’ or ‘What do you need?’ At the end of the day I am just one person and I

can't speak for all queer people and I can't speak for all women, because my feelings will be different than others.

Listen to everybody on an individual basis and you can't make assumptions about what someone will want or need based upon labels,” she said.

In light of sexual misconduct allegations happening in mainstream media, she wants to focus on the experience of the victims.

“That is what we need to in order for any of this to get better. We need to be treating victims of sexual violence better. It's so interesting; people are so excited to talk about the perpetrators but when it comes to victims we are often dismissed or not listened to or not given the time of day,” she said.

Outside the band, Kashan works with and mentors kids as part of her day job. While there, the vocalist steps up and provides ways to teach young people consent, such as asking for her permission permission before they try to hug her at work and using more gender neutral language.

“There are a lot of people who don't know a lot about different sexualities or gender identities and there are positive, helpful ways to teach people without making them feel dumb or weird,” Kashan said. “When you make people feel dumb, or you talk down to them, they will be less perceptive of what you're saying. Just be helpful and be nice to each other, because everyone needs to be nicer to one another.”

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CALENDAR APRIL 12

APRIL 5

PRINCESS DEWCLAW

Hi-Dive, 7 S. Broadway

RU PAUL’S BEST FRIENDS RACE Trade, 475 Santa Fe Dr. Local Ru Paul fans, you know you’re stoked for Season 10! Everyone’s gonna be watching, so why not come watch with all your friends, have some drinks, and get weird with it! You know how it goes down. The fun starts at 6 p.m. every Thursday!

APRIL 13

PUP MOSH Trade, 475 Santa Fe Dr. Grab your pup, or bring your leash to your handler, and head on down to Pup Mosh at Trade. This monthly fetish night offers drinks in dog bowls, plenty of howling, and lots of good, clean fun.

JUNE 12

DEVIANT PRESENTS: REVENGE OF THE 80S! Tracks, 3500 Walnut St. If you love the 80s, come party down at Tracks in your best old-school getup and jam out to some of your favorite hits. Plus, there will be a 90s room, in case you prefer that era. Party all night, check out special performances, and grab some delicious drinks.

DINING OUT FOR LIFE

Locations all over Denver and Boulder Want to support an awesome cause and also eat some delicious food? Dining Out for Life is partnering with restaurants all over Denver and Boulder on April 26. Just for this date, Project Angel Heart will donate 25 percent of each check to help combat HIV/AIDS, cancer, kidney disease, and other life-threatening illnesses. If you’re looking to get brunch or grab some drinks, this is a great day to do it.

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Want to come out and see some fun, quirky live music with a feminist twist? Princess Dewclaw plays weird, trashy pop with some goth overtones. Come catch them live at everyone’s favorite dive bar with Abeasity Jones and Surf Moon. Doors are at 10 p.m., and tickets are always affordable.

APRIL 26

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HEINZESIGHT:

Difficult life lessons

By Brent Heinze

W

e are born as a relatively blank slate, and each day it slate starts to fill in with every experience we have, no matter how big or small. We start with learning who supports us by making sure we are fed when we are hungry and soothed when we felt grumpy or need our diapers changed. As we get older, we come to realize that our choices and experiences are influenced by a multitude of individuals, situations, freedoms, and limitations.

There is so much to explore throughout our lives that it can feel that we will never have enough time or resources to experience all that we desire. As time progresses, we learn a series of important life lessons about how we perceive the inner workings of our world and how we interact with our surroundings. Some of these lessons are more difficult and painful than others.

As we discover aspects of being alive that cause us to feel uncomfortable or frustrated, our innocent perception of reality slowly gets stripped away. We may initially feel that the world is a generally utopian place, but we come to realize that things can get quite crappy in our lives despite our best efforts. We come to understand that there are many threats to our happiness and success; things we once counted on don’t always come through for us, and there are many variables in our lives that are out of our control.

As the levels of blissful ignorance slowly erode away, a more realistic viewpoint of our surroundings is created. Hopefully these difficult life lessons do not impact us in ways that make us choose to become maladjusted, unhappy people. These often serve to open our eyes so we can be better prepared to face challenges, cope with stressful situations, and create an amazing life. Here are some of the more painful, but important understandings I have experienced that I am grateful to incorporate in my life.

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Life is Not Always Fair Most of us were taught that good things happen to good people.

If we all go by the Golden Rule, people will only treat us with the same type of thoughtfulness and compassion that they expect from us when interacting with them. In recent years, the concept of the Law of Attraction was made popular by the book The Secret, which encourages people to attract success to them by maintaining a positive attitude and doing good things for others. The benefits are thought to come back to you and enrich your life.

Unfortunately, some people who adopt this philosophy want an immediate return on their good deed effort. When rapid results don't come back, some risk becoming jaded and bitter about their lack of reimbursement. There is no tit-for-tat in the world. It may be more personally beneficial to just do nice things because we know they are the correct things to do without expecting something in return. Sometimes doing a great thing can be reward enough regardless of the personal benefit to you.

Situations are Not Always Easy Although we may hope for the best possible result, often it's safer for us to be cautiously realistic about outcomes of situations. We can wish upon a star for the best possible scenario to work out, but there are times that, despite great planning and hard work, things don’t happen the way we want.

Sometimes situations take additional effort, face unexpected challenges, or require re-evaluation of how best to approach potential solutions.

Planning for success can take time and often does not happen as quickly as we hope it will. Many times, we want to rush through something to reach the end goal, but our timelines may not be sensible. Patience is a tough quality to develop, especially when it comes to accomplishing those things we desire. Taking a step back to look at new potential ways of facing challenges can help us become more successful in gaining what we want. It may just not be by the methods that you initially thought would work. Don’t give up. Just be open to looking at things in different ways.

Outcomes are Not Always What We Want Most of us have a firm idea of how we want situations to play out. Our active imaginations use past experiences and hopes for a successful outcome to create a desired final goal. This can be a powerful tool to help us set our intentions and make an appropriate plan to get what we want.

People are Not Always Nice Hopefully we have opportunities to surround ourselves with freaking awesome people full of interesting stories, big smiles, and a love of life. These relationships can support our own positive attitude and energize us to pass on happy-happy-joy-joy feelings to others.

But, even if we are Susie Sunshine most of the time, we all run into those people who are having a bad day or are just generally grumpy. Not everyone we encounter will greet us with a smile, hug, efforts to try to make us feel special, or validation that we are good people. We may not receive kindness back from those we give it to, so be cautious of expecting it or requiring it back from someone. This desire may leave us feeling disappointed or rejected. This is an important lesson about who to invest energy into so we don’t waste more than we already have given.

However, pitfalls can happen when we get too rigid with what we think we want or need. There are times when we may get stuck in a singular idea of how things should be and may see other outcomes as being undesirable or a failure. Our situations may end differently than we may have envisioned, hoped for, or worked towards, but that doesn’t mean that our efforts were unsuccessful. Take some time to evaluate if your different outcome got you close to what you initially wanted. Becoming stuck in a concrete version of what you think should happen may stop you from acknowledging a wonderful success. Also, be careful about what benefits we expect from being successful with something.

Sometimes what we think we want will gain us happiness, success, favoritism, or a great time. There is nothing wrong with setting some expectations, but look at what you actually feel after you accomplish a goal. The outcome you experience may not align with what makes you feel positive about the situation. Keep your mind open to how you will feel after working hard for something.

It can be a huge benefit to fantasize about what it would be like to complete an action. Being a dreamer is fantastic, but work on keeping at least one foot based in reality and be honest about how you feel at the end of the process. Try new things and evaluate if those are actually beneficial for you.

Feelings of personal pride and accomplishment can propel you to additional greatness.

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Photos By Charles Broshous

OUT FRONT Drag Issue Release Party at Charlie's

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Photos By Charles Broshous

Denver Eagle Grand Opening

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OUTREACH

QUEER-FRIENDLY HEALTHCARE The Trevor Project............................... 866-488-7386 Suicide Prevention Lifeline...............800-273-8255 Lis’n Crisis Hotline................................ 303-860-1200

FOR INFO ON PLACING AN OUTREACH AD

303-477-4000

Parenting is challenging. There is no one-size-fits-all handbook, no guaranteed success with this method or that. Really, for the first few months of a child’s life your main goal is to simply keep them alive! Then their personalities begin to emerge and you start to see them as individual beings, with thoughts, feelings, and intuition that are completely separate from you.

We now know that children have a sense of their own gender identity as young as age two, sometimes even a little earlier.

How amazing could it be if this was a general understanding, and kids were simply allowed the space and freedom to express themselves in whatever way feels the most genuine to them, free of social constraints? As a group that specializes in working with children and adolescents, we see kids who, at ages three or four, are very clear about who they are. Young children use play to process ideas and events that they are trying to figure out, so that’s where we meet them.

We use Play Therapy with children as young as age three as a way for them to express their world in a way that makes sense to them. We have a therapeutic playroom space, and a room for teens and young adults as well as a more traditional adult office. Our goal is to work with families as a whole, to provide the support that every individual family deserves. No family fits into a one-sizefits-all box; yours shouldn’t be expected to either.

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Photos By Charles Broshous

"Kiss Me, I'm Gayish" at Tracks

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BAR TAB | THE HOTTEST COLORADO NIGHTLIFE

BOYZTOWN

117 Broadway St, Denver (303) 722-7373 boyztowndenver.com

CHARLIE'S® NIGHTCLUB

900 E. Colfax Ave, Denver (303) 839-8890 charliesdenver.com THU: 2-4-1 drinks 7 pm – closing FRI: Neon Party SAT: Shirts Off-Half Off! SUN: 3-4-1 drinks 4 – 8 pm Kai Lee’s KiKi at 9 pm

CLUB Q

HAMBURGER MARY’S

1336 E 17th Ave, Denver (303) 993-5812 hamburgermarys.com/denver

LIL’ DEVILS

255 South Broadway St, Denver (303) 733-1156 lildevilslounge.com

LIPSTICK NIGHTCLUB

5660 W Colfax Ave, Denver (720) 669-3470

PRIDE & SWAGGER 450 E 17th Ave #110, Denver (720) 476-6360

R&R DENVER

4958 E Colfax Ave (303) 320-9337

TRACKS

3430 N. Academy Blvd, Colo. Springs (719) 570-1429 clubqonline.com

3500 Walnut St, Denver (303) 863-7326 tracksdenver.com

CLOCKTOWER CABARET

2036 N. Broadway, Denver (303) 658-0913 triangledenver.com

16th St. Mall @ Arapahoe, Denver (303) 293-0075 clocktowercabaret.com

COMPOUND BASIX

145 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7977 compounddenver.com

DADDY’S BAR & GRILL

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CLOCKTOWER

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500 Santa Fe Drive Denver, Colorado (303) 893-6112

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WRANGLER

3090 Downing St, Denver (303) 837-1075 denverwrangler.com MON: Poker Tournament 7 pm WED: Big Gay Jeopardy 8 pm FRI: Free Taco Bar 4-8 pm Phat Friday 9 pm SAT: $3 Svedka SUN: Charity Beer Bust 4-8 pm Show Tunes 9 pm

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475 Santa Fe Dr, Denver (720) 627-5905 THU: Skivvy Stripdown SAT: Beer Bust

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1120 E 6th Ave, Denver (303) 993-6365 daddysdenver.com TUE: Pizza & Pitcher $12 WED: Daddy’s Girl Drink Specials SAT & SUN: Brunch Buffet $15, add bottomless Mimosas or Blood Mary’s$10 DAILY Lunch Specials

THE TRIANGLE BAR

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1526 E. Colfax Ave, Denver (303) 484-8548 blushbludenver.com

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OUTBACK CLASSIFIEDS | ENVISIONED BY BOBERTO

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