August 21, 2019 :: Art

CO LO R A D O'S LG B TQ M AGA ZINE | F R E E

CONTENTS AUGUST 21, 2019 VOL43 NO10

8 A WORLD OF YES: ART, STIGMA, AND SUCCESS 12 DR. MICHELLE MARTIN-BARON: KEEPING QUEER ART QUEER 14 TREAT ME LIKE YOU TREAT THE EARTH: A CHAT WITH ELIZA BETH WHITTINGTON 16 QUEER FAMILY PLANNING: ADOPTION 18 HAVE I TOLD YOU I'M WRITING A PLAY ABOUT MY VAGINA? 20 T4T CREATES A SPACE FOR TRANS BODIES 22 MELANIE HATFIELD: EMBRACING HORROR ART AND GENDERFLUID PARENTING 24 CAPTURING STARCHILD’S GALACTIC LOOK 26 NEW COTTAGE IS BRINGING ARTISTIC ACCESSIBILITY TO DENVER 28 CHRYSALIS: THE TRANSFORMATION OF CHRYS CONWAY 32 FILLING IN THE BLANKS: QUEER INCLUSION IN ANIME 34 POEM: WIND WALTZ 43 INSTANTLY CENSORED? SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE MAN �

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ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontmagazine.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontmagazine.com ADDISON HERRON-WHEELER Editor VERONICA L. HOLYFIELD Creative Director BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist CHARLES BROSHOUS Senior Photographer DENNY PATTERSON Celebrity Interviewer INTERNS: Angel Rivera, Apollo Blue, Arianna Balderrama, Bryce P. Walsh, Sophia Gabrielson WRITERS: Aaryn McPhetres, Caitlin Galiz-Rowe, Christopher La Fleur, Justus Flair, Kate Dooley, Keegan Williams, Maggie Saunders, Mar Luther, Robin Johnson ART art@outfrontmagazine.com DESIGN2PRO Graphic Designer COVER DESIGN Veronica L. Holyfield COVER ART Chrys Conway MARKETING + SALES marketing@outfrontmagazine.com BENJAMIN YOUNG Director of Sales & Marketing BRENNAN GALLAGHER Marketing Executive QUINCEY ROISUM Marketing Executive KELSEY ELGIE DOMIER Marketing Executive

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FROM THE EDITOR

I

t’s almost an oversimplification to talk about queer people making art. Most of us have some sort of inner struggle to convey, some hardships and internalized marginalization to work out. And most of us have a creative outlet—be it writing, photography, visual art, music, theatre, or something else.

But that doesn’t mean that queer voices aren’t still extremely important to examine in art. Just like the stories in OUT FRONT’s pages, queer art has moved well beyond just telling our coming out stories or painting a picture of same-gender couples holding hands.

There is so much rich, nuanced experience to share in the stories of our art, whether you are a teen just learning about your identity or a trans or nonbinary person reflecting

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on what the world looks like to you. We celebrate each other and our art in so many ways, from this magazine to local drag to even financially supporting each other when need be. But we can still do more.

So, if you see something you like in these pages and you have the financial means to support one of these artists, do it. It could be showing up with a few dollars for trans performers or buying your very own piece of visual art.

And most of all, even if financial support isn’t an option for you right now, you can still support queer art and voices by coming out and showing that this is something you want to see happen. Go to queer art shows and free events, and make sure to show queer artists of all types plenty of love.

-Addison Herron-Wheeler

A World of Yes:

Art, Stigma, and Success I

By Christopher La Fleur All art provided by Christopher La Fleur

was “that kid” growing up. You know the one: standing on the side of the street holding a sign announcing, “Lemonade! $.50!” A few years later, I went door-to-door in the neighborhood soliciting lawn-mowing jobs from the neighbors.

In high school, I’d become a new sort of outcast: gay, gangly, and flamboyant. That isn’t to say I didn’t try with every bone in my body to become someone else.

Privately, I cried, raged, lashed out at the cruelty of life. It isn’t a stretch to say I was a particularly disagreeable teenager.

As a fully formed and (mostly) well-adjusted adult, I now cherish that hardship. It was a gift. I wished for a different sort of life, and it hit me like a frying pan.

Very early on, it became clear I was indeed a bird of a different feather. I lived in a world of ‘yes’ when every sign said ‘no.’ I grew to hate the word ‘no.’ It was seemingly everywhere. No sitting. No smoking. No loitering. No shoes, no shirt, no service.

Outspoken, artistic, and sharp as a tack, I found my home in the arts. This dangerous world of yes seemed full of ideas, “weirdos,” and experimentation. In more ways than three, the arts saved my life.

I began drawing, painting, and writing, often about my alternative inner world. I called it Rivernia. In Rivernia, anything was possible. I created everything within my fief: the castles, the monsters and titans, billowing clouds and endless horizons. I filled it with poetry about love, loss, and growing up. To me, it was wonderfully, terribly alive, and I the lord of it all.

In time, Rivernia became just another fantasy locked in a sketchbook. The magic of my private world fell victim to the realities of adulthood. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I had two things going for me: creativity and a flair for business.

I’d always wanted a career in the arts, and the time had come to take the future into my own hands. How hard could it be?

A string of retail and office jobs, an incomplete business degree, and many lessons in business, life, and leadership later, adulthood was losing its luster. Once again I hoped, wished, longed for a different sort of life. If this is all there is, what’s the point?

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Just as before, in the most unexpected way, my wish was granted. I’d been laid off of my job with just enough severance to start a new life. I needed something that was mine.

Something like Rivernia that I could will into existence with my own two hands.

Almost immediately, a well-intentioned (but extremely vocal) chorus cautioned me against setting off on this new adventure.

“You will never make money making art.” “You should keep making art as a hobby. Breaking into fine art is really hard.”

“You should find a real job. I’m worried about you.” This criticism only fanned the flames. I set to work creating my world of yes.

The stigma surrounding the creative class is overwhelming.

According to which opinion you didn’t ask for, we are, in no particular order: reckless, mentally ill, starving, or unreliable.

We’ll never make any money. We’ll fail. We’re “eccentric.”

Erratic. Compulsive yet simultaneously lazy and unmotivated.

3. Sleeping until noon can be tempting. After all, you’re the boss, right? While trips and time off certainly contribute to new and inspiring ideas, too much time away from your business will quickly spiral out of control. Prioritize your responsibilities; create a schedule, and plan ahead for much-needed self-care.

4. Many artists struggle when they discuss their own work.

Never, ever be ashamed to speak highly of your work.

Make your clients and collectors see what you see. Explain your inspirations and highlight important things like craftsmanship.

5. Remember that relationships are the lifeblood of your thriving business. Reach out to your clients. Keep them abreast of your events. Send a friendly email, or make time to have coffee with them. They are the key to your success.

Here’s the raw, unfiltered truth: that’s all bullsh*t. Never take advice from someone seeking safety in a world of no.

6. It’s important to have a critical eye for your work. Editing your body of work is one of the most valuable skills an artist can have. That said, don’t let your criticism cripple your creativity.

And so, before I go, here are some of the most important things I’ve learned as a successful creative. For the sake of brevity, I’m including just a few here, but I’ve written at length about all the wonderful lessons artmaking has gifted me. You can find them on my blog at christopherlafleurarts.com/blog.

7. Perfection is unattainable. Allow exploration and intuition to guide you in the artmaking process. Embracing the unexpected can lead to unexpected new things. Take on difficult projects which force you to grow. You will never stop surprising yourself.

1. The most valuable teacher is failure. Always fail up: learn from your mistakes, and take new risks informed by your previous failures.

8. And finally, never forget that you are everything you need.

You will have detractors, but you will also have loving supporters and cheerleaders rooting for you the whole way.

2. Running a successful business is like having a baby. You are your own accountant, creator, salesperson, delivery driver, manager, and secretary. Making art is just 20 percent of the battle. Managing your workflow is critical if you wish to succeed.

Find my blog, full body of work, and keep up-to-date on events at: christopherlafleurarts.com.

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Dr. Michelle Martin-Baron Keeping Queer Art Queer

By Justus Flair

T

elevision and film are having a queer year. Queer Eye, Killing Eve, Ru Paul’s Drag Race, Pose, and Special all made statements when Emmy nominations were announced last month, and Bohemian Rhapsody dominated the Oscars back in February.

But, even as more queer stories and characters make it onscreen, queer audiences watch straight people applauded for their portrayal—like Rami Malek winning best actor for playing Freddy Mercury, one of the most revered queer men of all time.

The queer community wants increased visibility, but don't we deserve to be part of creating the art?

It can be difficult determining how to enjoy art that feels co-opted by people outside our community, so I went to Dr. Michelle Martin-Baron, an expert on performance and queer studies.

Martin-Baron holds a Ph.D. in Performance Studies and examines the sense of national belonging created—or not created—through visual performances arts. In particular, her research focuses on marginalized groups.

What are your thoughts on non-queer actors portraying queer characters?

I think it's time to really insist that queer folks can play queer folks. We have this trend of having straight actors play queer characters for a lot of reasons, partly the fear of coming out as an actor and still getting romantic, heterosexual lead roles. And that's the vast majority of parts out there: straight characters. GLAAD reports only 8.8 percent of all characters on TV are queer, so if you're trying to work in Hollywood or on television, you're definitely going to play 1 2 \\ A U G U S T 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

straight people. I think that as we continue to see more and more people coming out and being visible, people won't be able to say, 'I didn't know any queer actors.' This is also the case for people playing trans characters. Activists are pushing to say it's no longer cool to have straight, cis-gender folk playing trans characters.

There's been a big story about that recently with Scarlett Johansson. [Johansson, set to play a trans character, stepped away from a project helmed by Ghost in the Shell director Rupert Sanders.]

She was right to step away, and I think the more big names you have in Hollywood who are willing to say, 'This is not a part that I should play, because, ethically, that's the right thing to do,' that's a good thing to happen. I don't know that everyone's willing to do that. And actors get the flack, but who are the people in casting making these decisions?

What about entirely non-queer writers, directors, designers, producers, telling queer stories? If queer individuals aren't included across the board in the creation of the art, is it fair to use their stories and experiences?

If you have a room writing stories about marginalized populations that they are not a part of, that's definitely problematic. The more diverse of a writers' room that you have, the better stories you're going to create, hands down.

Shows like Pose, among others, are doing a better job at that.

But it absolutely becomes exploitative if you're not having queer folks in the room who are in charge. Because the world literally looks different depending on where you're standing in it.

Do you think there's a difference between representation and inclusion? How would you define each of those?

Inclusion is about making sure everyone is seen, everyone has a piece of the pie. Representation is trickier, because it's so much about power. If we look on television and see who is represented the most, we see who holds the power. Like, why are there so many stories about white, hetero-normative families?

Representation, then, becomes a question of how we tell multiple stories and recognize the complex personhood of all people. Why is it that only white, straight people are allowed to have complex personhood on TV? And once you give complex personhood to other characters, because they're not represented often, they become stereotypes that are seen as speaking for the entire community. In earlier days of queer representation, the roles were terrible, most portrayed as sociopaths or incredibly depressed or villains, and they mostly ended up dead. The debate was, some representation is better than no representation. Those being the only tropes played over and over and over again, what does that tell society about who queer people are? It makes it very hard for queer viewers to imagine a life of anything different.

Representation starts to tell those stories about whose lives count and who's allowed to be complex.

There's this common practice of using at least one straight actor in portraying queer couples. Do you think it's easier for non-queer audiences to watch queer relationships with that distancing element?

All these arguments about 'Is America ready for X, Y, or Z? or 'Is it more palatable for straight people?' are always centering this conservative, cisgender, usually male audience member.

But audiences are much more diverse, and even folks who identify as conservative, cisgender men don't have one certain point of view. People from all walks of life watch TV and are hungry for representations of themselves.

The exploitation comes from folks being seen as a market.

Going back to the idea of straight people playing queer folks, those kinds of roles tend to be awarded, because it's seen as unbelievable that they can transgress these boundaries. That is insulting. Not only because it's straight folks getting accolades for roles that queer folks should be able to play, but also this idea that being LGBT is so unacceptable or outlandish. It perpetuates homophobia, honestly; even as it's making queer characters and queer stories more accessible, it's perpetuating this idea of the strangeness of queer people.

Do you find queer men are portrayed more often than queer women?

Absolutely. We see more queer men, because we see more men, period. [Film scholar] Ruby Rich said, "Where the boys are archaeologists, the girls have to be alchemists." There's all this history that men can dig into, and women have to create from scratch; that history doesn't exist in the same way.

Looking at what's happening today, I certainly see echoes and reflections of that.

OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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Treat Me Like You Treat the Earth:

A Chat with

Eliza Beth Whittington

By Addison Herron-Wheeler Photo provided by Eliza Beth Whittington

Q

ueer and feminist issues and environmental protection are often conflaited because of the harsh way queer and femme-identifying people and the earth are treated. In fact, the terminology “the rape of earth” is a common way to talk about the planet’s destruction. Local poet Eliza Beth Whittington is using their experience with living as a queer, nonbinary person in the world and their love for the earth as a way to tell their story. Their first poetry book, Treat Me Like You Treat the Earth, recently released by Suspect Press, deals with all these themes.

We chatted with Whittington to learn more about their process and how their identity intersects with their writing.

What made you want to write this book?

Well, it's a collection of poetry. I’ve been sitting on so many poems, and so many have gotten lost over the years in journals and things like that. I kind of took a break from going out to events and stuff for a few years, because my kid was small, and then when I went back into it, I was getting reception that I've never gotten before. And people would ask me, ‘Do you have a book, or do you have anything online to read?’ It felt increasingly important to share what I've done. My 1 4 \\ A U G U S T 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

friend Brice Maiurro was running Punch Drunk Press at the time and wanted to publish the book, but that ended up falling through. I had the manuscript ready, and I submitted to Suspect Press, because they had published a couple of my poems, and they said yes!

What are some of the big themes in the book and in your poems?

Some overarching themes are definitely love for nature; there are odes in there comparing a hike to a religious experience. And there's definitely a lot of sexual trauma, kind of like confessional poems. I got the title for the book based on how those things kind of overlap, like rape culture and like how we treat the planet. I worked with a crisis center for several years, and I worked with Clean Water Action for several years.

Do you think you’ll keep writing and publishing after this?

I'd like to; I’d like to take classes or keep learning more. Poetry has always come fairly natural to me, and lately I’ve been writing short stories and other things I haven’t really shared, some creative

nonfiction and things of that nature, and I realized I don’t really know how to write prose. I'm doing it, but I'd like to learn it a little better. I’m also doing this book tour in the Southwest and on the West Coast. I’m really excited to see other literary scenes and get a feel for what they're doing and see what inspiration is there. For the past six months, a lot of energy has gone into making this book and less has gone into my own like creative pursuits. I'm really excited to have this book now and be open to new projects and ideas.

How did your experience of coming out and being part of the LGBTQ community coincide with your journey as a writer?

When I moved to Denver, that was when I could no longer be in denial about my queerness. Before that, I could always defend my eyes lingering on someone or something like that to myself, but I couldn’t any longer. I also learned a lot about terms like ‘nonbinary’ and 'genderfluid' and learned how I fit in there. Since acknowledging the fluidity of myself, I’ve been able to take on things I never had the confidence to do before.

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Queer Family Planning: Adoption

By Veronica L. Holyfield

I

n the previous issue of OUT FRONT, an article titled "Exploring Our Options: Queer Family Planning" dove into the world of family expansion for LGBTQ folks through means of intrauertine insemination (IUI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF) surrogacy. Many couples find that to be their preferred route when they are ready to bring children into their universe. For many individuals and couples, however, the time and cost of embryo fertilization, implantation, and surrogacy can be too prohibitive.

That’s when the idea of foster parenting and adoption becomes the top choice for many in the LGBTQ community.

Fortunately for queer families in Colorado, this an amazing part of the country for queer folks to be matched with homes that want to share their love and grow.

The Colorado Heart Gallery (CHG), in partnership with the Colorado Department of Human Services (CDHS), and The Adoption Exchange is providing hope for both families and children in need. CHG is a photography display website of young people who are available for adoption, and with a simple click, one can peruse images and read information about each child’s interests and hobbies.

It’s through the Heart Gallery that Jason Cianciotto and Courter Simmons ultimately found their son Derrik. The gay couple residing in New York have been together since 2003, and exchanged vows in 2006 at a private ceremony with their families (same-gender marriage wasn’t legalized in their home state of NY until 2011.) Finally, in 2016, they were ready to begin the process of becoming parents.

“We explored surrogacy, which turned out to be prohibitively expensive,” said Courter Simmons. “We explored private adoption, which is also expensive and has all of the pitfalls of that, and we explored international adoption, which is sometimes problematic for an LGBT couple.”

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Exhausting options, the two landed on the best fit for their family and chose to adopt through a proxy system. They went through the required 60 hours of comprehensive certification and steps of licensing to become foster parents first, a requirement to proceeding with the adoption process. Through that training alone, they learned a lot.

“One of the things that was really clear from the licensing process was that the foster system, whether you want to just foster or you want to eventually adopt, is wholly set up to provide a steady stream of safe, and hopefully loving, families for kids in temporary need of care,” Jason said. Knowing that Courter and Jason did not want to foster long-term, Jason began his search through the Heart Gallery database for a child available for adoption, one who would hopefully be a good match for him and Courter permanently.

While all states in the U.S. permit same-gender couples to joint foster and eventually adopt, the Heart Gallery provides information to prospective parents, but the choice is ultimately up to the child if they are open to being placed in an LGBTQ family’s home.

Courter and Jason began looking in cities with larger populations of youth available for home placements and eventually found their way to the Colorado Heart Gallery, and to Derrik’s profile in Colorado Springs in 2017. He was 11, and Jason sent Courter a text message with a screenshot of Derrik’s profile and said, “I think we found our son.” Courter’ replied, “I think so, too.”

“We immediately inquired,” said Jason, “and our first answer was no.” Though the online profile said that Derrik was open to many different kinds of families, the adoption caseworker told them that his file stated a ‘mom and dad family would be better.’

One of the reasons why we inquired about him, [his profile] was worded in such a way that made it pretty clear to people who were clued in that Derek was a child

who might not have acted ‘gender typical,’ and could grow up to be LGBTQ,” Jason said. So, after weeks of communicating with the caseworker, the question was finally presented directly to Derrik.

“She asked him what he would think about being in a two-dad family, and he responded that he actually would prefer that,” said Jason. “He was afraid that if he was in a mom-and-dad family, they wouldn't let him play with dolls.”

“We need parents who will accept and affirm a child for who they are today and who they will become later in life,” said Mary Gerlach, communications manager at Colorado Office of Children, Youth, and Families. She went on to say that it’s particularly important for younger children who haven't fully realized or been able to express their gender identity or sexual orientation yet in life.

“We want to make sure that we have a welcoming and affirming family should that child later identify as LGBTQ,” Gerlach said.

The Heart Gallery is not only a recruiting tool for potential parents, the whole process is a way of providing a special experience for the kids to be able to showcase their inner light and spirit.

“It's really nice, because it's sort of fun for that young person,” said Korey Elger, onging manager at the Colorado Division of Child Welfare. “They have a nice photo shoot and they get pictures of themselves that are professional that they also get a copy of. We try and make it really fun so that it's a very normal process for them, and they get to view their picture and figure out which picture they like best.” The kids also get to provide input for what goes in their bio, so that their voices are able to reach the parents who will be the best match for them.

It was through the bio that Jason and Courter knew they had found a great match for their family in Derrik.

“It's all very theoretical when you're going to be a foster parent,” Jason

said. “There are these kids out there, but it's a very blurry kind of thing in your mind. Once it crystallizes with the image of an actual person, and you start to think about that person, it becomes very real. Then the fear is that something will happen that will mess that up, and that was the hardest part of our journey.”

While Courter and Jason were privy to some of Derrik’s information in his case file, some of it was either excluded or just unknown, and portions of Derrik’s medical files were kept sealed until the couple was fully immersed and invested in getting their hopeful son home with them.

“I think it's worth pointing out that one of the things that is a reality is that there's a higher likelihood that the children who are free for adoption have some kind of special needs,” said Jason. “We didn’t know that Derek had had surgery to remove a brain tumor until the full disclosure call.” This call included everyone on Derrik’s care team, and they went through his file, point by point, and even with all the

disclosures from healthcare providers, psychologists, and foster parents, there were still inaccuracies the couple would later find out.

“We didn't know until we took him to a routine doctor's appointment that he actually has epilepsy, and it seems that no one involved in this case actually knew that either,” said Jason. “We knew that he had seizures while he had a brain tumor; we knew the seizures stopped after the brain tumor, and we knew he was taking medications to prevent seizures. But, I think that this speaks more broadly to one of the most glaring problems in the foster system, which is that when you agree to care for a child as a foster parent, you are legally not allowed to see their medical records, because it is a HIPAA violation.”

Courter, Jason, and Derrik have been a family now for more than two years, and while there has been the expected period of acclamation, the health and safety of Derrik is no longer in question, and through the Colorado Heart Gallery, all involved truly found the best fit out there.

“I fully researched Colorado's LGBTQ protection laws and realized we were in a state where we were protected and everyone was on our side and wanted the best for Derrik,” Jason said. “When they realized that we were the best for Derrik, they were completely with us, regardless of our gender identity or sexuality. In fact, a few of them said, ‘You guys are perfect for him.’”

Now, Derrik has followed in Courter’s footsteps in loving theatre, singing and performing, and drag, and even dresses up in drag with his own set of costumes and wigs. It is, in fact, a perfect match for what a supportive, queer family can look like. It’s through these matches providing unique kids in need with a home that make them feel safe and loved that bring people like Elger back to doing this work every single day.

“I think we have the most amazing jobs in the world,” said Elger. “I can't imagine not being in this field. Yes, there are hard days, but you get to be with families when they're at their highest of highs, and that would bring me back every day of the week.”

There are 306 children and teens in Colorado who are waiting for a family.

Meet Colorado’s kids and learn about their hobbies, talents and dreams.

www.coheartgallery.org

The Colorado Heart Gallery is a collaboration among the Colorado Department of Human Services, The Adoption Exchange, counties throughout the state, and volunteer professional photographers.

OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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Chucked Up Theatre Wants Us to Talk About Sexual Disorders

By Kate Dooley Art provided by Chucked Up Theatre

“I

t’s 2019; why are women still being shamed for having bodies?” Chucked Up Theatre, a female-led theatrecompany, asks.

Let’s talk about female sexual health and pleasure. Let’s talk about sexual disorders. Let’s talk about vaginismus. This is what their new production, Have I Told You I’m Writing A Play About My Vagina? aims to address. It’s serious, hilarious, and a heartening portrayal of what it’s like for one’s body to be at odds with one’s mind.

Chucked Up Theatre is a Manchester, U.K.-based company. They create “inclusive, experimental, and stimulating work which seeks out the humour and heart in typically uncomfortable topics,” they write on their Kickstarter campaign page. This play is their second production and follows their sold-out debut play, Girls Will Be Girls, which premiered at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2017.

In this comedy, the narrative depicts one woman’s experience with vaginismus, a sexual disorder which causes “an involuntary muscle contraction of the vagina that makes penetration painful or even impossible,” writes Chucked Up Theatre. Research shows that anywhere between 5 percent and 17 percent of women suffer from it in their lifetime. By following the life of Bea and her vagina, “Vag,” the storyline takes the audience through moments of intense personal pain and self-discovery.

It’s shameless, feminist, and brings awareness to a sexual disorder that no one cares to talk about. Not only does the company create something irresistibly funny, they also provide an important message.

The company writes that “Bea’s vagina can narrate, DJ, and dance, but she can’t have sex; Vag’s Bea refuses to hear her issues: a will-they-or-wont-they odd couple that happen to be anatomically attached.” This narrative comes from the company’s writer, Ella Langley, who was diagnosed with vaginismus a few years eariler. In depicting a personal experience, Langley fearlessly shares her experience with the crowd.

A preview for the play took place at The Bunker Theatre, a contemporary performance space in an old underground parking garage in Southwark, London. As the production began, the lights dimmed, and at the center of the stage, Bea was sitting on a toilet struggling to insert a tampon. This opening scene felt revolutionary, especially as moments like this feel

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like disgraceful moments in women's lives. Often, these instances are kept hidden and too taboo to be represented in popular culture.

The company claims that the production “seeks to empower those who are female-identifying to build a lasting relationship with all parts of their anatomy.”

But building such a relationship often takes years to understand and includes traumatic doctor visits, isolation, and lack of intimacy.

Because of the nature of the play talking about issues that no one else seems able to speak on, some of the most enthralling moments of the play were the interactions between Bea and the doctors she met with. It was heartbreaking to watch her first doctor simply dismiss everything she was feeling, a circumstance that feels eerily familiar to queer and female-identifying audiences.

In having our pain disregarded by medical professionals and often chalked up to being our fault, this portrayal on stage was difficult to watch, but so, so necessary to display.

Later in the play, Bea meets with a different doctor, and this time, she arrives armed with a pre-written note on her phone. As she anxiously reads through the note, this time the doctor carefully listens without interjecting. Finally, space is opened up in the medical sphere where Bea can discover what is affecting her sexual health. This moment feels cathartic, both for Bea and marginalized viewers.

The production juxtaposes painful experiences with comedy and had viewers alternating between tears and laughter, especially as Bea and Vag start listening to one another and joyfully dance across the stage.

“A skewering and honest jumble of sexual encounters, patronising pamphlet voice-overs, and a dilation samba; the piece slowly unravels an unconventional love story for the ages,” states Chucked Up Theatre.

The play displays vulnerability at its core, and this means giving the audience glimpses into the aspects of female sexual health that our culture wants to erase.

After watching the story unfold, viewers are apt to ask themselves: how well are we listening to our bodies?

And how comfortable are we with talking about the uncomfortable underbelly of having sex?

Ultimately, the company hopes to change the obscure narrative of vaginismus. “We want Have I Told You I’m Writing a Play About My Vagina? to open up conversations about vaginal conditions, empowering women to seek help and medical advice, and to take back control of their own bodies sooner rather than later.”

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T4T Creates a Space for Trans Bodies

By Mar Luther Photo by Julian Colas

F

rom all-age drag shows to alternative drag shows, drag shows centered around kings to drag shows in non-queer spaces, the drag community in Denver continues to push boundaries of what drag is supposed to look like and who it is for. Performers across town are making spaces where people are able to display and appreciate the beauty of queerness while perhaps challenging a gender norm or two in the process.

In March, I was given the opportunity to begin the process of co-producing and co-hosting a show alongside a dear friend of mine, Pax (aka the Transwitch). Both of us, as new performers and regular drag show attendees whose trans identities often felt dismissed, were interested in putting together a show that not only acts as a safe space for those who are trans and nonbinary, but gives individuals in our community a platform that is built by and for people like us.

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Though it may come to a surprise to some, it is unfortunately expected as a trans person to feel out-of-place at a drag show and in many queer spaces in general. It is all-too-common for a drag queen to claim to be a “real woman” while simultaneously making a joke about being a “man in dress,” implying trans people can put on and take off their identities like clothing.

Or maybe it is the Jack-and-Jill toast that in the end reveals Jill has a “c*ck” and her “real name is Randy” that feeds into the idea that trans women are deceiving our partners, further invalidating our identities.

The typical banter that is heard at a drag show perpetuates dangerous narratives that are already widely believed of trans people. While at the time, these jokes are intended to be harmless, they begin to feel much more dangerous when your everyday realities already include being called your

deadname, getting asked if you’re pre- or post-op, or having someone insist your womanhood is not real.

But it’s not only trans audience members who are looking for a place where their identities are respected from those within the queer community. I have witnessed countless performers misgendered due to the assumption that all drag performers are performing as ‘drag queens,’ further erasing drag kings, trans men, and nonbinary performers.

Ironically enough for being such experts in exploring and performing gender, it can be just as difficult to find a seat at the table (or more literally, a stage to perform on) as a trans drag performer. I’ve been performing for just under a year now, and I still find myself feeling pressure to make my gender identity the subject of most of my performances, something I cannot imagine cisgender drag performers feel pressure to do.

T4T was created with the hope of giving Denver’s trans and nonbinary community a stage and space that we can call our own. Each month, a new cast of all trans and nonbinary performers brings such a variety of art to the stage at Gladys: The Nosy Neighbor. From live singing to burlesque to poetry readings, you’ll quickly learn that T4T is not simply a drag show, but a celebration and exploration of what it means to be trans and nonbinary.

I will gladly admit that I absolutely had no clue what I was getting myself into. The responsibility of producing and hosting is no small feat, and one I naively thought would come naturally. The added pressure to put on a seamless production alongside the desire to perfect one’s look and numbers is relieved through the incredible support from those who attend each month and the sense of community with other trans and nonbinary people. Specifically, the safety felt backstage among other trans and nonbinary performers in the dressing rooms, not having to wonder if your body is being looked at or scrutinized in any sort of way.

Knowing that there still may be dysphoria or dysmorphia in expressing yourself through drag, but that there is solace to be had in knowing that the people around you understand, is extremely powerful. Having the opportunity to be a part of a show where I get to work with only trans and nonbinary folks, that centers only trans and nonbinary folks, and also brings trans and nonbinary folks together, is incredibly humbling.

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Drag has been and always will be about bending the rules of gender and expression. And if drag is about exploring gender, challenging the comventional norms, and having autonomy over how we express ourselves, who better to show you than a trans person?

The next T4T is on September 7 at 10:30 p.m. at Gladys: The Nosy Neighbor. Each month, you can find DJ Dutch Confetti playing tracks and a photographer from Tits, Tucks, & Genderfucks in the audience snapping photos. With the help of the community through door and raffle prize donations over the last six months, T4T has raised over $2,500 for local trans organizations and individuals. Prizes have been sponsored from gc2b, Awakening Boutique, Paul Salas Hair Salon, City O’ City, and more.

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Melanie HatFIeld

Embracing Horror Art and Genderfluid Parenting

By Keegan Williams All art provided by Melanie Hatfield

U

pon first glance, Melanie Hatfield’s kitchen is what you’d expect from a working mom of two: well-stocked, lightly decorated, a baby doll sitting casually on the table with a grotesque, agape mouth of hyper-realistic human teeth replacing its face.

Well, mostly what you’d expect.

Upon closer inspection of her Westminster home, it’s clear that Melanie is an artist with a love for horror, and her dark creativity has been brewing since she was a teen.

“I went through a lot of that teenage angst,” Melanie laughed.

“It’s a stage I hit and never kind of grew out of. I’m much happier now that I actually know what the purpose of it is, but with that being said, I started to reflect a lot of that in my art.”

After realizing she was pregnant right before turning 19, Melanie began the next chapter of her life as a mother. Soon enough, she was in her 20s, and her son Gavin was a child with a blossoming personality. That’s when Melanie noticed he stood out from other boys his age, gravitating toward feminine toys and media with a more fluid gender expression.

“I learned a long time ago that gender and sexuality are two different things,” Melanie said. “I never stopped him from doing what he wanted in terms of interests, because after a point, it didn’t matter to me.”

Melanie’s main concern with Gavin being genderfluid is fighting adversity in society. Part of the reason they currently live in Westminster was to switch school districts after Gavin struggled with bullying elsewhere.

Melanie often found herself fighting with school authorities to allow Gavin to express himself the way he wanted, feeling they would usually 2 2 \\ A U G U S T 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

concede to her requests out of convenience over actually accepting his identity.

“When it comes to my kid’s educational needs, I will always listen to the teachers, but when it comes to the actual identity aspect of my child, that’s totally different.”

Gavin, now 11, sits at the kitchen table beside his mother, dressed in a flat-billed hat, printed leggings, and a shirt with sparkly text: ‘There’s nothing wrong with you; There’s a lot wrong with the world you live in.’ He attends an arts integration school and said he is finally able to be himself in class.

“Every kid is just so nice,” Gavin said. “No one likes to bully; They are really bully intolerant.”

While promoting Gavin’s identity, Melanie’s artistry shifted over time. For most of her life, she had kept her work to herself rather than sharing with the public.

Removing her braces in 2017 was the catalyst.

Instead of a cake or gift, Melanie requested a copy of her original teeth, which ended up in the face of the doll at the kitchen table. She initially set out to create props for a haunted house, but Melanie kept the ball rolling, though she didn’t fully know what she was doing.

As her collection grew, she branched out to Etsy, which then lead her to the Denver oddities shop The Room of Lost Things in early 2018.

She reached out over the phone and was met with hesitation, but that quickly dissipated after she sent over pictures of her dolls. The owners loved her work, and the once-covert artist now had a place to display her morbid creations for the public to take home.

Once she made the move, Melanie returned to normal life and waited nearly a full year until she finally followed up with the shop.

“I didn’t reach out to them for a few months out of the fear of hurting my soul a little,” Melanie said. “Finally, September rolled around; I reached out, was like, ‘Hey, I don’t know if you have any left over? You want me to come get my dolls?’ and she was like, ‘Actually, we sold out of them. Please make more.’”

The rest is history. Between her family and her full-time job in advanced computer engineering, Melanie cranks out her horrific creations as she’s able under the name Soylent Shenanigans. Putting on different thinking caps is often mentally enriching, but in dry spells of inspiration, Gavin’s creative mind comes to her aid. Melanie said he is her biggest supporter.

“He likes to give me his ideas. Sometimes I use them; sometimes I don’t. As artists, we have different eyes and directions, whatever else, but I don’t think anything would continue to grow the way it does without him and his support, realistically.”

Melanie’s artistry has allowed Gavin’s creativity to grow with hers. He took to drawing when he was younger, but as his mom gravitated toward her new, doll-centric delights, he was by her side, scavenging for new materials for his own pieces.

“This is one my grandma helped me make on my own sewing machine,’” Gavin said, as he showed a doll with a custom-sewn mermaid tale and delicately painted, aquamarine scales and hues across the body. “We’ll go to thrift stores so my mom can get baby dolls and things for her art, and I can get my things for my art.”

Melanie’s main goal is not to sell, but to share her ideas (and shock some people along the way). It is a form of expression that in turn helps her son embrace himself.

“The only thing you can do is just stand up and help [your kids] navigate through life and continue to teach people to love one another,” Melanie said. “It’s really a super-privilege to have had that thrown at me in life. I couldn’t be happier to be where I am.”

Gavin added, “Don’t hide yourself because you’re not like other people. Express yourself to other people, so other people will then express themselves. Then the world will be a better place.”

Melanie Hatfield sells her macabre dolls (complete with unique birth certificates) out of The Room of Lost Things, and you can find her more nerd-centric, wearable creations at Channel 3 Retro Gaming Center. Her freaky creations live online at facebook.com/soylentshenanigans and @soylent_shenanigans on Instagram.

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Capturing StarChild's Galactic Look Ben Seagren - Photographer Instagram - @isthatjupiter Email - seagren26@gmail.com Aaryn McPhetres - Makeup Artist Instagram - @matchstickmakeupartistry Phone number - 303-437-1757 StarChild (Thomas Ilalaole) - Model Instagram - @star_child_productions Email - tilalaole12@yahoo.com or starchildproductions@yahoo.com Phone number - 808-551-5943

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O

ne of the aspects of being an artist that I really love is collaboration. True collaboration, where each party brings their expertise and creativity to the table in pursuit of art that is greater than just the sum of its parts. This is part of why I value working with Star so much. For this look in particular, she told me she wanted to do something spacethemed. My first thought was, “Duh, how has this not been done yet? You Are StarChild, girl!” This is what made me realize that this couldn't be any basic, galaxy design; I had to personalize it as much as possible.

After going through photos from some of her performances, I noticed that she uses blues in her looks quite often, specifically a pale, sky blue. The rest of the color pallet was created around this baby blue, using deeper blues and purples to compliment and pink and yellow to add contrast. Since we were doing the night sky, I thought it would be nice to incorporate some constellations. Being a bit of an astronomy nerd, I wanted a few of them to be actual constellations and not just random dots.

When I was trying to decide on which patterns to use and where to put them, I came up with the idea of using Star’s head instead of having her wear a wig. Not only did this give me a larger canvas to work with, I felt like it was the truest representation of Star. Being nonbinary gives her a unique kind of fluididity. She is masculine and feminine, everything in between, both and neither all at once. Just to customize it that much more, we thought the constilation on the crown of her head should be her zodiac sign, Taurus.

In the end, the look came out better than I could have ever imagined it would. I was blown away by the photos; Star totally brought the look to life, and the photography couldn't be more stunning. It was a great experience with a badass team.

Aaryn McPhetres

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New Cottage is Bringing Artistic Accessibility to Denver

By Caitlin Galiz-Rowe

“N

ew Cottage Arts has one mission: to bring music and art to everyone.” This is a lofty, and noble goal, one that was originally set about four years ago. Through late-night talks with his husband, Brian, Victor Ngo-Smith developed the idea for a space where arts education wasn’t seen as a luxury, and where accessibility, diversity, and inclusion were centered.

They kept building on these ideas, and this past June, they finally found the current studio space where New Cottage Arts was able to make its home. So, what is New Cottage Arts? The short answer is a reasonably priced, Denver-based combination music and visual art school boasting classrooms, practice studios, a gallery space, and several accomplished instructors teaching classes that can be attended by folks of all ages.

The instructors at New Cottage Arts have backgrounds ranging from DJing and production, to ballet, to opera, and beyond.

“We want to choose the best from the extraordinary pool of local Denver talent,” Ngo-Smith told OUT FRONT. But talent isn’t all it takes to teach at New Cottage Arts. “We focus on selecting teachers not only based on their impressive list of degrees and experiences, but also on how much joy and good juju they can inspire and offer our students.”

New Cottage Arts is trying to inspire some “good juju” of their own in the surrounding community. They’re the first gallery space to emerge in the Westwood neighborhood, and so far, the community has been enthusiastic about their presence.

The staff wants to take that energy and continue spinning it into positivity and love for the arts.

“Through our programs, we hope students will not only be challenged to cultivate a love of lifelong learning dedicated to developing their own expressive, creative selves by honing an artistic skill, but also to discover how the impact of this dedication extends far beyond themselves and spreads into their communities.”

Part of their dedication to promoting a love of the arts in the community is making access to lessons affordable while paying instructors what they’re worth. “We are committed to offering the best in music and art instruction to our community and city while keeping the rates as affordable as possible while also being able to offer our amazing teachers an honest wage.”

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New Cottage Arts provides both group and private lessons in sessions that run around eight weeks. Each eight-week session runs between $185 and $448 depending on whether it’s a group or private session and the length of sessions for private lessons.

If folks find it difficult to keep up with these prices, there are some options available such as payment plans that separate the cost of sessions into two payments instead of just one.

They are also looking into other methods to help alleviate costs for those in need.

“We are currently applying for funding that will help with the cost of lessons for our community, including a grant that would offer a year of full-tuition scholarships for a group of students from our Southwest Denver community.”

New Cottage Arts is still a fairly young project, but Ngo-Smith and the other members have big dreams for its future. “We hope to be able to reach as many students as we can through our school and to help shape and build their artistic selves to become confident, powerful advocates for the arts,” Ngo-Smith said. “Through this community focus, we hope to encourage and help facilitate dialogue between the students and their communities, developing motivation, social capital, leadership, and civic engagement.”

Community really is key. While the hope is to eventually expand the project into other neighborhoods so that more folks can have access to their programming and resources, the feeling of closeness and community they provide is their highest priority. “And although we hope to expand to other neighborhoods and communities that could benefit from the New Cottage Arts education model, we also want to maintain a friendly, local, personal experience for each and every student.”

Through this method, New Cottage Arts aims to make Denver the place for other cities to take example from for arts education.

“By incubating more innovative approaches to arts education like ours, Denver can become a model of successful outcomes for other cities to follow,” Ngo-Smith said. “We believe Denver can become a world-renowned hub for growing and fostering local talent in this way.”

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Chrysalis

The Transformation of Chrys Conway

By Robin Johnson All art provided by Chrys Conway 2 8 \\ A U G U S T 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

I

was especially excited to interview artist Chrys Conway.

As she came to the door, she reminded me of a young woman emerging from a 1920s speakeasy. Her bobbed, ginger curls barely touched her shoulders as she bounced up to welcome me. She wore a vintage, linen dress with delicate lace trim and a drop waist.

With a broad grin, she opened the door to her apartment studio. Light filtered in through carefully placed glass vases which cast hues on the wooden floorboards. There were large portraits leaned along the entire length of the apartment. Some smaller watercolors were stacked neatly on the table next to an easel. Her paints were as much a part of the décor as the carefully curated treasures that adorned her bohemian cocoon.

I couldn’t help myself as I began spreading the delicate watercolors onto the table so that I could admire them. There was a historical quality to her work, and it was obvious that her paintings carried a transformative message.

“What is your favorite thing to create? Is it watercolor?” I asked “Definitely watercolor.” She smiled warmly “It dries so quickly; there's a temperamental nature to it. I like to use it when I’m being really expressive, although I do use oils. When you're doing an oil painting, you usually want to use less paint in the beginning. You build it with layers. So you always want to paint thinner layers, gradually building. The reason why you do it that way is so that everything will dry properly. If you were to paint with your thickest paints first, then thinner on top, it would crack the early paint.”

“What is your favorite topic to paint?”

“Well, I guess I'd have to enter that in a roundabout way,” she began. “I'm on a mission of sorts to try and walk people through what it means to transition emotionally through paintings. Right now, my subject matter is very much intimate portraits of me which in truth is so not fun, as you can tell from the few that are around.” She waved towards the images peering at us from behind the bookcases. “ I don't keep a lot of them up; just the ones that are way too big to hide.”

She gingerly glanced across the room to a life-size portrait that confronts her daily.

“That one.” She pointed to the largest portrait, nearly as big as herself. “That one has been a work in progress for literally two years now, because I hate looking at it. I left it in the middle of the room. It's my reminder.” She gathered her dress around herself and stood directly in front of the painting. Suddenly, it seemed as if she was speaking directly to it.

“This painting is called ‘Not a Pretty Girl.’ The reason for that is because that was something that was told to me; I will never be a pretty girl, that I will never be a real girl.” Comway sighed and smoothed out the wrinkles from her dress. “This is what this painting is truly about. It doesn't actually matter. If I'm pretty, it doesn't actually matter. I can be ugly. I'm fine with being ugly, because that's not important. You can respect me in my gender whether I'm pretty or ugly. It doesn't matter.”

Her face became stern as she challenged her portrait, “and pretty isn't a word that I'm aspiring to.”

Conway went on to explain that to her, being pretty is about being small. “It's about being literal in your beauty. It's about being pretty, but not too much that someone might be threatened by you. It's about being enough, but not too much.

You know, I'm not trying to be pretty. Being respected doesn't require being pretty. That’s not just about me as a trans person.

No girl needs to be a pretty girl in order to be respected. “ As she settled back on the couch facing the large self-portrait, she leaned back into the cushions and batted her curls from her face. “We all have to look in the mirror. This is my reminder to myself that you don't actually need to be pretty today; you don't actually need to look beautiful. I spend a good portion of time doing my makeup, but not really for myself. I see it as my gift to everyone who has to see me throughout the day. By me putting on mascara and eyeliner and blush and lipstick, it makes it so much easier for people to connect all the dots. I’m misgendered less often, although it does a number on one's self esteem to have to do that every day.

“But, I'm trying really hard to document this, because I know that it will be important for me in the future. And I think it's really helpful for anybody who's trying to understand what that pain can be like. What it is to look at yourself. When I look at myself in the mirror, it's never okay. Maybe I did my wings right or my hair looks cool. I feel like that is gender dysphoria in itself. There's a certain amount of hatred; there's a certain amount of trying really hard to love it.

“It's a weird line that trans people have to walk, finding self love yet trying to transition. At the same time, it's things that everybody can relate to, because everybody usually has some level of body dysmorphia. We all look in the mirror and say, ‘Oh my god, these jeans are NOT doing it today.’ Everybody's got that shit. Everybody has bad hair days. But with being trans, there’s another level to it. So that's what I'm trying to document right now.”

I ventured, “But does the subject change as you do?”

“Oh, definitely. Last spring, I had a gallery showing. I had all of them up on the wall together. For the first time, I was seeing all the self portraits together. WOAH!”

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When asked about her emotions while painting, Conway explained, “I have to get this out. It's not something that I can control. It's going to be ugly; it's going to be awful; it's going to be nasty, but that's what I need to paint right now. Like this one over here.” She lifts a pencil drawing from a hidden cache behind her rows of paints. “You’re going to process emotions if you look at yourself and all you're focusing on are all the things you hate. I was drawing myself neither as I am, nor as I would want myself to be. I was drawing the things that I build up in my head. But with dysphoria, it just blows it out of proportion. So, for example, I was looking at my chin and just drawing it as I see it mentally. It looked monstrous. I hated it so much, and I erased it completely and drew over it.”

Conway affirms that she sees the connection between the layers of her makeup and the layers of her emotional transformation that are applied through her paintings. She wants to share this experience through her art to others that may not have a medium to express themselves.

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“I definitely see parallels. I think that's why this particular painting is taking forever to complete, as it’s a few steps behind.

It reflects the past so I can absorb the lessons from that and reflect, then move on to, hopefully, bigger and better changes.”

I suddenly became aware that the sunbeams had traveled across the length of the room, and their tiny prisms were collected near the stack of watercolors I had been admiring earlier. “What would your message be through your artwork?

If your pictures could speak?”

She clasped her hands together and opened her eyes wide.

“Find ways to love yourself. This is what I myself am trying to do with my art. Find ways to love yourself through your pain; find ways to love yourself through your limitations. See past facades and bodies.” Her face burst into a generous smile.

“It's what's beneath that’s important.”

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Filling in the Blanks

Queer Inclusion in Anime

By Angel Rivera Art by Lonnie M.F. Allen

F

or a long time in mainstream media, LGBTQ representation has been less than progressive and more of a bookend for a joke. In early media, queer representation was always shown as predatory or super effeminate (i.e. Maltese Falcon, or Silence of the Lambs),

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while lesbians were almost absent in the media until shows like The L-Word brought them into the limelight.

In many respects, the LGBTQ community has had a come-up in mainstream representation with shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race, drag queen and drag king story times across

the country, and Netflix’s Queer Eye, and Queer as Folk, to name a few.

However, as niche as this may seem, there is also an even more niche genre of media that is up-and-coming with its queer representation, and that media format is anime.

When you think about anime, you may think Dragonball, Naruto, lots of colors, explosions, and even kawaii (cutesy) culture. If you look deeper, though, there is a whole world of LGBTQ characters who aren’t just limited to being gay.

The characters in the world of anime are not only queer; their ideals aren’t just limited to their sexual or gender identity. However, that does not mean that the genre is devoid of stereotypes, but it is working to change that.

Characters are not just powerful for merchandising in anime, but are also a powerful symbol for love and acceptance among fans.

One example of a show that has important diversity in characters is Sailor Moon. Two of the characters, Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh, also known as Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune, are not only sailor soldiers sent to protect the galaxy and Sailor Moon, they are also lovers bound by their love for one another. When they first met, most people thought that Haruka and Michiru where good friends and maybe more (though this was still when Haruka was thought to be a boy due to her more masculine representation.) It was then discovered that the two are actually lovers and skirt-wearing, high-heel-clad sailor soldiers. To the main cast, the shock was not that the two women were lovers.

Instead, having powers was more of a shock than two lesbians being in love.

As far as early representation of gay men, look no further than Cardcaptor Sakura! This is another 90s anime where queer representation is not just a footnote in the director’s commentary. Sakura’s older brother Touya is in a burgeoning relationship with his best friend Yukito as the events of the manga unfold, and the main character, Sakura, has her adventure and actually has a crush on Yukito. We get to watch the love between Touya and Yukito unfold. Eventually, Sakura confesses her love for Yukito, and he takes her words with great kindness, but explains to her the person he loves the most is her brother, and that they are an item.

To Sakura, the fact that her brother and Yukito where in a relationship was not so much of a shock but more of a wonderful surprise, as the two always seem to know how to make the other happy. After this, the story doesn't place the two on the back burner, but as the show and manga unfold, we continue to see the two interact with one another and play key roles in the story beyond their love for each other.

However, it isn’t just cis, gay men and lesbians that get representation, but also trans characters Trans representation in media is hardly there, but in anime, it is a topic and even a whole genre that is explored. One trans character who has seen a lot of popularity in mainstream anime is Grell Sutcliff from the Black Butler series. Grell, with her crimson hair and fiery red coat, is a man who represents himself in a more feminine manner and would prefer to be called by she/her pronouns. Gender reassignment wasn't

a very well-developed concept in early 1800s England, but this is still a theme in the story. Being trans isn't the only thing that Grell has going for her; she is also part of the reaper association and one of the chosen few immortals who is gifted with a customizable reaper scythe to collect the souls of the dead.

It should be noted, though, that Grell does start out as an antagonist but morphs into an ally as the series carries on.

The importance of queer characters being more than queer cannot be understated and should be shared with others, especially those of us who hunger for representation.

However, with representation also comes erasure. During the 90s and even the early 2000s, media companies such as DiC and 4kids would license anime to bring them to the west and generate a new medium for profit, but of course, that came with some issues. Taking foreign media and dubbing it into a new language and adapting themes and ideas for a new audience naturally causes change in the messaging and content of shows and books.

Changes came with U.S. characters like Sailor Uranus and Neptune becoming “cousins,” and the final season of Sailor Moon, which consists of themes of bisexuality, death, rebirth (as did the older seasons), and most importantly trans men and women in positions of power and affection, was never originally aired in the U.S. Cardcaptor Sakura suffered the same fate, with Touya and Yukito only being besties.

Another major and more contemprary example of queer erasure is in Netflix’s dub of Neon Genesis Evangelion, where two male characters, Shinji, who is asexual, and Kaworu, who is gay, have a love story in the original version. In Netflix’s dub, Kaworu only tells Shinji that he likes him. This caused a stir not only with LGBTQ anime fans but anime pureists as well. Erasing queerness in localization is not only a problem for the medium but also for the companies.

Luckily, newer anime companies such as Crunchyroll and Funimation are more concenred with keeping the original themes and ideas of the authors intact for queer and straight audiences to enjoy.

Anime doesn’t only cater to cisgender, straight people but to everyone. Shows like Kino’s Journey and Naruto have characters who are nonbinary; Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid has lesbian dragons, and shows like Tokyo Babylon and X/1999 have coming-of-age stories about gays trying to save the world and themselves. Their queerness is not a second-hand inclusion but an element to help broaden the story and character development.

When I think of anime, I don’t just think about giant robots, loud colors, and bad dubbing; I think about the queer stories waiting to be told for everyone around the world to enjoy and relate to. As it pushes more into the mainstream media, so will its value and ideals. LGBTQ representation is as important to anime as it is to the fans, and authors use their creativity and artistry to illustrate that. Be we cis, trans, non-binary, lesbian, gay or questioning, we as humans relate to experiences and not just sexuality and gender.

OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

// 3 3

Wind Waltz

By Maggie Saunders

When something needs to move, wait for the next windy day.

Go outside, wearing whatever you need to surrender.

Find a space to sit.

Spine like an arrow, toward the atmospheres edge.

Eyelids eclipse.

Give control to the wind.

The wind will lead this waltz.

Surrender to sweet seduction of breeze brushing your skin.

The chill of tiny hairs stick up like little antennas, reaching towards more now, more Earth exhale, and finally you— deep inhale.

Kites dance best with the wind when it waits for the wind to sweep it off the ground.

Maybe if we do the same we will be sky bound.

Flying. For a moment, maybe— with a bird's eye view, we will see, that everything is moving.

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The Lowest Pair

Photos by Veronica L. Holyfield Kendl Winter and Palmer T. Lee, better known as the indie folk duo The Lowest Pair, made a stop in Denver on August 9 as part of their current cross-country "Never Ending" tour. Having been plucking the strings of the banjo together since 2013, they have put out four full-length albums of original bluegrass tunes of poetic verse and intricately fast and furious, melodic guitar work.

Denver locals Jennifer Jane Nicely and Jess Parsons opened up the night with tastefully twangy tunes to set the mood just right for an illustrious evening of songstress storytelling under the big moon.

Jess Parsons

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My name is Joseph Boyle. I’m a 27-year-old gay man with

like me) have the tendency to have just one more shot of

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yourself. That you are able to take the bumpy, ugly, road

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of you that will lead you into making some of the dumbest decisions of your life. Loving yourself, even through the bad stuff, is what makes redemption, forgiveness, and most of

Risk. Fall short. Fail, miserably, and then dust yourself off and begin again. After all, a wise man once said, “failure leads to success."

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// 3 9

Den o' Sin: Whorin' 20s

Photos by Stu Osborne and Shealyn McCoy of Tits, Tucks, and Genderfucks Whorin' 20s transformed Rhinoceropolis from an artys warehouse to a den of prohibition-era excess.

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2/25/19 11:37 AM

Instantly Censored?

Social Media and The Man

M

By Bryce P. Walsh Art by Ethan Barry

ost everyone is familiar with a fig leaf, not because it’s a popular house plant, but because it sits carefully on the genitalia of many ancient sculptures. Possibly the most famous image of censorship, the fig leaf was a later addition to many of these antiques which were rediscovered during the Renaissance and the following centuries, shielding the public from the moral indecency of nudity. Though many art museums and public spaces have moved past this and removed the fig leaf from penis and vagina alike, the issue of censorship in public spaces still remains an active conversation.

We may not be dealing with fig leaves anymore, but we are adjusting to a new form of censorship: pixelation. On Instagram, nude content is self-censored through the inclusion of pixelation over genitalia, intercourse, and female nipples, or the content becomes censored through flagging. The flagging process originates through a community-based reporting system based upon the company’s Community Guidelines.

The Community Guidelines for Instagram is a thin social and legal contract between users and the company in order to establish a code of conduct for both use and content production.

These guidelines help protect individuals from hate speech, copyright infringement, and exposure to self-injury content.

However, the case for nudity is based around a vague concept of content that is “appropriate for a diverse audience.”

This question of audience is important, as it dictates the acceptability of certain content. There is a dysfunctional role between producer and audience on social media, as audience can have a profound impact on the imagery that they consume and allow on the public forum. An individual artist can produce imagery that represents a specific audience outside of the mainstream, yet the mainstream can dictate the permission for the imagery to be circulated.

Gatekeeping in this systems disproportionately affects artists and sex workers who identify as queer, femme, or both.

Additionally, the system does not function purely on human opinion, but has expanded to include an algorithm that actively deletes content that it perceives to violate the community guidelines.

Ethan Barry, an artist based in Vancouver, has become one of many artists to face censorship on the social media platform.

Working in illustration and drawing, Barry’s practice explores the intersection between intimacy and sexuality through minimal linework, placing emphasis on the vulnerability of connection.

“If you type in my handle on Instagram, anymore, it doesn’t pop up” said Barry, highlighting the consequences of Instagram’s shadowbanning, a tool used to hide content by specific users

from public searches. Consequently, Barry has not only had to constrict his work to fit within the guidelines, but also his personal and professional interactions.

“I was messaging with another erotic, queer artist, and he asked me to send him photographs to draw. And so, I sent them, and they were nude, and that was within our DMs, not public. And immediately, I got a message saying that these [images] didn’t meet the requirements of the community guidelines, essentially the same message you would get if you posted them publicly.”

Monitoring both public and private spaces crafts an anxiety for producers that limits the scope of content they would like to share. This follows a long history of art spaces censoring the work of queer artists, such as the removal of David Wojnarowicz’ video “A Fire in my Belly” from the National Portrait Gallery in 2010. Public dictations of queer experiences and representations shows a conflict of values between the generic public and the queer public.

“It’s really hard to say that we are the ones that are being restricted and targeted. We are just the group in society that are always pushing against the boundaries. [Instagram’s] fighting back against that now,” added Barry. “We’re lucky that as millennials, we’re the first community to have access to these things and ways to connect, and so, having these things taken away for the first time is extremely alarming” Removing digital spaces from young people interacting with queer identity for the first time forces a transition back to traditional media sources for representation and communication, leaving behind queer youth in rural areas who lack the same resources as those in urban centers.

“I try to create work that people can personally identify with.

It’s not only ‘this is a sexy image.’ It’s also ‘I’ve been in that physical situation. I’ve had an intimate moment like this.’ So, when you take moments like those away, you have less things to relate to,” said Barry.

That is the main challenge presented to queer individuals on social media. Instagram and other platforms were not created with queer people in mind, leading to values and needs that don’t relate to those participating with queer culture. This issue will only continue to neglect those needs for interpersonal connection that many queer individuals lack in daily life outside of queer spaces. We cannot continue to apply fig leaves to nudity and queerness and expect acceptability; it is necessary to craft queer spaces on the internet that fully realize a queer future where visual representation does not need to apologize for its sincerity.

OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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