November 21, 2018 :: Best Of by OUT FRONT Magazine

CO LO R A D O'S LG B TQ M AGA ZINE | F R E E

F O T S BE ER V N E D 018

CONTENTS

NOVEMBER 21, 2018 VOL42 NO15

7 JARED POLIS MAKES HISTORY AS NATION'S FIRST OPENLY GAY GOVERNOR 13 THE RAINBOW WAVE: MOVING COLORADO FROM THE HATE STATE TO THE HISTORY MAKING STATE 18 MUTINY INFORMATION CAFE: 2018’S BEST PLACE TO GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE 21 PHOTOGRAPHER JEREMIAH CORDER: 2018’S BEST QUEER ARTIST

25 MILE HIGH HAMBURGER MARY’S: 2018’S BEST BRUNCH 28 TRADE & GLADYS: THE NOSY NEIGHBOR: 2018’S BEST QUEER BARS

34 X-BAR: 2018’S BEST BAR PATIO 36

TRACKS: 2018’S BEST DANCEFLOOR 38 DUSTIN SCHLONG: 2018’S BEST DRAG 40 LISA FRANK CORTEZ: 2018’S BEST DRAG QUEEN 51 DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: EVERYDAY IS HALLOWEEN

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By Ryan Howe

D E R A J S I L POstory as

i H s e Mak First Openly 's n r o i o t n a r e N v o G y Ga

ared Polis is officially the governor of Colorado and the first openly gay man to be elected governor in U.S. history. Polis won against republican candidate Walker Stapleton after a tumultuous campaign season. It all paid off, as Polis, his husband, and their two children pack their bags and move into the governor’s mansion. “Colorado has always been a forwardthinking state,” Polis told OUT FRONT. Although former Gov. Jim McGreevey of New Jersey, a Democrat, made history by coming out as gay while in office in 2004, Polis is the first openly gay man elected governor. Oregon Gov. Kate Brown is the nation’s first openly bisexual governor, as well as the first governor who was openly LGBTQ when taking office.

Breaking Barriers Polis’ career in public service has been defined by shattering the glass ceiling. By age 33, Polis had already launched several successful businesses, founded schools for young immigrants and other vulnerable kids, chaired the Colorado Board of Education, and led a ballot measure banning gifts from lobbyists to Colorado lawmakers. He was also elected to Congress. After his election in 2008, Polis worked with President Obama and democratic leaders to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; the gavel used for the bill’s passage is still prominently displayed in his office. And with his help, the Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus transformed from a quiet organization, unknown outside progressive circles, into a political powerhouse. In 2011, Polis busted through another barrier: he and his partner, Marlon Reis, welcomed their first child, making Polis the first openly gay parent in Congressional history.

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“Every Coloradan, every American, deserves to look at their elected leaders in government and see themselves represented,” Polis said. “When LGBTQ Americans are in positions of leadership, it shows the country we aren’t just an abstraction they read about in the news. It shows we are real people—parents, sons and daughters, teachers, neighbors, co-workers, business owners, faith leaders.” For Polis, the importance of representation goes beyond sending a message. It translates directly into policy. Polis has used his position to aggressively advocate for the rights of LGBTQ Americans. In addition to his efforts to overturn Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Polis helped to pass a landmark hate crimes law that expanded federal protections based on sexual orientation, gender identity, and disability. He also led legislative proposals to stop anti-LGBTQ discrimination at school and in the workplace. “One of my major goals here in Colorado is building an economy that works for everyone,” Polis said. “But as a nation, our economy can’t work for everyone if some 8 \\ N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 8

people have to worry about losing their jobs simply because of who they are or who they love.” Polis was a driving force behind President Obama’s official guidance in 2016, ensuring that existing civil rights laws protect transgender and gender-nonconforming students from discrimination at school. President Trump reversed President Obama’s guidance almost immediately upon taking office. “Now more than ever, we need a governor who will stand up for the rights of all Coloradans, whether that’s LGBTQ folks, women, racial and religious minorities, or our immigrant communities,” Polis said.

Fighting For Representation The number of LGBTQ people nominated to run for Congress during this election was four times higher than it was in 2010—activated by greater social acceptance of queer folks and a surge of liberal energy to oppose Trump and radical republicans.

According to the Victory Fund, a nonpartisan group that supports and tracks queer political candidates, there were 21 openly LGBTQ people nominated for Congress and four for governor. All of them are democrats. Overall, there were more than 430 openly queer people running for office at all levels of government at the start of this year’s primary season. At least 244 of them advanced to a ballot in November, including some independents and candidates for nonpartisan positions. The four queer people up for governor all represent a different letter in the acronym LGBT. Polis stands alongside Oregon’s Kate Brown, who is openly bisexual and is running for reelection; Lupe Valdez, a lesbian in Texas; and Christine Hallquist, a transgender woman in Vermont. In Colorado, there were six LGBTQ candidates running for the statehouse, including the state’s first transgender candidate for the House of Representatives.

What We Can Expect Polis was openly and unapologetically liberal during his campaign and vows to keep the promises he made at that time. “Our campaign is about a bold vision for where we go as a state, because we have an historic opportunity before us,” Polis told OUT FRONT in January. “I want Colorado to lead the way into the future with universal pre-K for every child, a thriving renewable-energy sector, and an economy that works for all Coloradans.” Polis, who jumped into politics with a successful run for the state board of education and as the founder of several charter schools, made education one of the keystones of his campaign. He hopes to end his first legislative session as governor with full-day kindergarten throughout the state and more slots for preschools. He also took aim at four-day school weeks and districtto-district funding disparities. Polis’ pledge to push us towards a “thriving, renewable energy sector” includes setting the state on the path to 100 percent renewable energy by 2040. Polis opposed Proposition 112, which would mandate a 2,500 foot setback for any new oil and gas development from buildings designed for human occupancy. Instead, he calls for more local control on setting restrictions pertaining to oil and gas development.

On Polis’ campaign website, he makes his opinion on healthcare very clear, stating, “Healthcare is a human right... I believe passionately in universal healthcare, and I always will.” While universal healthcare is one of Polis' stated goals, he does not support a Medicarefor-all bill, as it is a federal program and not something necessarily translatable to the state level. Instead, he’s pushed the focus on his “100 Day Roadmap” of healthcare policy and a broader goal of forming a bargaining compact with nearby states. He wants to make Colorado a single region for health insurance ratings purposes with goals of lowering costs for rural and mountain-based Coloradans, improving price transparency, making it easier for doctors and healthcare professionals to set up shop in Colorado, pushing community health clinics, and more. He’s also a strong believer in full equality and is willing to stand up against issues the current U.S. Supreme Court may go after, including abortion and LGBTQ rights. Some fear the court will dismantle federal protections, and it will then be up to individual states. If that happens, the position of governor becomes more important than ever. “I will lead legislation to preserve reproductive choice in the Colorado Statute so that Coloradans’ basic rights don’t come and go based on the ideological makeup of the Supreme Court,” Polis told OUT FRONT in October. “Every, single Coloradan, no matter who they are or who they love, should be able to attend school, get a good-paying job, and live affordably in the community they call home without being subjected to discrimination or harassment.” “These issues aren’t about liberal-versusconservative,” Polis said. “They’re about forward-versus-backward.” OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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By Yvonne Wright

E H T W O B N I RA AVE W olorado

C te g a n t i S v o e t M a H e h t from istor y H e h e t t a o t t S g Makin

ared Polis and Lisa Culpepper lead very different lives. Polis was raised in a loving home with a lot of support. Culpepper found herself homeless at the age of 14. Polis is rich. Culpepper is middle class. Polis is male. Culpepper is female. One is a seasoned politician who ran for the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highest office. The other ran her very first race for a local office in Adams county. What they do have in common? Both are a part of the LGBTQ community. Both won their respective race. And both are a part of the history-making rainbow wave washing over our country and our state.

The Numbers An unprecedented number of LGBTQ people threw their hats into the political arena this midterm election. Six LGBTQ candidates ran for a seat in the Colorado statehouse, and all six won. Rep. Polis made history by being elected the first out, gay man to serve as governor. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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Nationwide, the nonpartisan Victory Fund reported more than 600 LGBTQ political candidates running for office. Not all made it onto the final ballot, but an unprecedented number did, and 226 ended up as winners. Breaking those figures down even further, we find diversity at an all-time high. LGBTQ candidates of all races are represented, with transgender representation in state legislatures tripling. The Victory Fund reports six transgender candidates winning, with Colorado’s Brianna Titone among them. “This is an exciting victory for me, my team, many people in the district and in the LGBTQ community, here and across the country,” Titone told OUT FRONT. “I am extremely grateful that the electorate saw me as a problemsolver and committed to working with the community to work on the issues pertaining to the voters and didn’t just focus on my identity. My main focus is on constituent services and being the leader they expect me to be. I will continue to be an advocate and visible presence for the LGBTQ community and be sure that their needs are being considered when policies are being drafted. In a time when trans people have been singled out for discrimination, this election, we send a message to those who wish to erase us: We won’t be erased; we will be elected.” This level of diversity within LGBTQ politics is new. “No matter what we do, we have to remember the rainbow does include brown, and it includes yellow, and it includes red. We cannot be anything less than fully inclusive. Otherwise, we don’t stand for anything,” said Culpepper, who will be Adams County’s next treasurer. Inclusivity is spreading to some of the most unlikely places. States like Kansas, Nebraska, and Indiana elected their very first queer candidates. It’s not just candidates, but LGBTQ voters who are changing the nation. “For a while, it was women voters who were gonna sway the vote. Now, it’s LGBTQ voters that are gonna sway the vote,” said Kayla Fersuson, a 28-yearold Denver activist who attended Colorado’s Democratic watch party at the downtown Westin. 1 4 \\ N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 8

The Candidates Diversity is especially strong here in Colorado. The statehouse candidates included an African American and two Latino, LGBTQ candidates. They range in age from 28 to 61. “I think our state is moving to a place of more inclusivity,” said Leslie Herod. And she should know. The Denver resident is the first African American, LGBTQ candidate to win a seat in the statehouse. “As an LGBTQ person of color, I believe protecting our neighbors from hate and bigotry is non-negotiable,” said Alex Valdez, who will also represent Denver in the statehouse. Hate and bigotry are no stranger to another first-time candidate. “I can remember marching when there were more protesters than there were [queer people]. And they had shotguns pointed at us,” said Sonya Jaquez Lewis, a long-time LGBTQ activist who won the statehouse position representing Boulder County.

Daneya Esgar has represented Pueblo County since 2015. She said people told her the southern district wasn’t ready for an LGBTQ candidate, but she ran anyway. “It’s always been a place where I felt like you can be who you want to be,” she said. This held true, as she was reelected. Rochelle Galindo faced a tough race in conservative Weld County, but she ended up pulling ahead and winning. She hopes her candidacy will inspire others. “If you want to run for office, run. We need more regular people... We need more candidates that reflect their community,” she said.

Why They’re Running Every candidate who spoke to italicize/ space OUT FRONT said the rainbow wave is a direct result of the Trump presidency. “In recent years, we have been somewhat

complacent, because we were getting our way. It was feeling good, and we were more frequently being counted. Now [Trump’s] not even going to count us on the census,” Culpepper said. She said, like many others, she was complacent during the 90s and the early 2000s when civil rights were being won at record speed for the LGBTQ community. But, she remembers the long, hard road the community walked to obtain rights like marriage equality. Culpepper came out at 14 and was kicked out of her house. She was also kicked out of high school for being LGBTQ, so she started college early and became a successful attorney with her own firm in Denver. While her qualifications lend themselves to many different political positions, she said she opted to run for the hyperlocal Adams County position because that is where change begins, and the community can no longer rely on the national government to protect them. “I thought it was really important to shore up what we’re doing on the local level, and there are a lot of LGBTQ persons who are doing exactly that,” she said. Others said they ran to help others see themselves in the political arena. “People are starting to realize they want a government that represents them, and it’s time for people like me to step up and run to make sure our government represents who we are,” Esgar said.

What the Future Holds The Pueblo native also had a lot to say about what the community needs to do with its new-found power. “During the debates, it was said I would ‘run a gay agenda.’ In the last four years, I’ve proven the gay agenda is everyone’s agenda,” she said. Esgar, Herod, and Jaquez Lewis all said their top issues include health, education, and affordable housing, the same things all Coloradans want.

“I think people realize because we are LGBTQ does not mean we have different values than the rest of our communities,” Herod said. Herod also points out the future will mean more work. With more LGBTQ people being elected in Colorado, she said the state can expect to be targeted by the far right. Expect more money and more campaigning against LGBTQ rights. “Just because we have a gay governor does not mean hate has gone away, that homophobia has gone away; it actually means we have more work to do, but we [now] have an army that can do it,” she said. Culpepper agrees. She said the rainbow wave is already pushing buttons. But, while some may become even more set against LGBTQ rights, she believes the more centrist republicans will realize queer people are just like everybody else. As long as the candidate is doing a good job, she believes sexual orientation will begin to matter less and less.

What This Means for the Community Corky Blankenship has seen it all. The 74-year-old Colorado native wasn’t about to miss history being made. Standing in the swell of democrats, he was among the hundreds of people at the democratic watch party who went crazy as Polis’ win was announced. Most of those gathered were not a part of the LGBTQ community. Most only care about Polis’ politics, not his sexual orientation. It was a moment Blankenship never thought he would live to see.

a hotel right on 16th Street watching history be made. “It just shows so much that people now are not afraid to be our friends, that we are not the monsters we were always depicted to be,” he said with tears welling up. 58-year-old Dave Bishop is the finance chair for Colorado’s 30th House District. He and his husband have lived in Adams County for 10 years. At 58, he also said he never thought he would live to see a gay governor. And now that the moment is here, he said he plans to do everything he can to continue to push civil rights further ahead. “I think it’s going to open up a myriad of opportunities for the LGBTQ community, and more people believe now, as the wave has opened up their mindset. They’re much more open,” he said.

From Hate to History Colorado’s new governor actually credits the so-called “hate amendment” Colorado passed in 1992 for pushing LGBTQ rights forward and putting Colorado in a leadership position. The amendment legalized discrimination against the queer community. It provoked a boycott of the state and led to Colorado being called “the hate state” for many years. It was later found unconstitutional. Polis said it ultimately pushed the state forward, as LGBTQ activists targeted the state for change, change that has paid off. Big time.

“I didn’t think I’d see the day when we could hold hands on the street and get married, let alone having a gay man elected governor,” he said.

Polis brought cheers from the crowd as he introduced his husband, Colorado’s first First Man—another title never held in this country before Polis’ win. And then he said it was time for the state to come together and move forward.

It was 60 years ago when Blankenship said he first learned how hard life would be as a gay man. In order to meet other men, at just 17 years of age, he said he would stand in an alley behind 16th Street and wait for someone to come out of a hidden gay bar to secretly usher him in. This night, he was standing inside

“The time is now to unite in our common purpose, rooted in our shared love for our home of Colorado and confident that what makes us unique isn’t just the boldness of our ideas—it’s the resilience and the spirit of Coloradans who make change happen, who bring these bold ideas to life." OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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QUEER LIVES 2018 @ CU DENVER

Photos by Charles Broshous

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Y N I T MOU N O I T A M R INF E F CA

im Norris and Matt Megyesi sat together, tucked away at the tailend of Mutiny Information Cafe, the shop they both own, coffees in hand and surrounded by countless shelves of books, a piano, pinball machines and an array of items on the wall that would bode well in an “I Spy” book.

e c a l P t s e B s ’ 2018 p of Coffee u C a b a to Gr

By Keegan Williams

“It’s a virtual museum of Denver. You know, underground stuff,” Norris said, as he scanned the wall and pointed. “That’s Rainbow Music Hall. That’s all the autographed stuff from way back in the 80s. I worked with Bluebird and stuff, so all these clip-on letters—those are from the Bluebird, Ogden, and Oriental Theater. That’s from the Ogden Theatre, when nobody in particular ran it.”

making zines in the early 90s, running coffee shops, hopping trains, and doing construction, before taking over ownership of Mutiny in 2013. Jack Jensen was the previous owner, “one of the original punk rockers of Denver,” Norris said, when Mutiny was a bookstore with no seats and no coffee.

Norris and Megyesi have worked together off-and-on for over 25 years,

Jensen’s spirit and initial vision ignited what Mutiny is today. As Megyesi

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said, “This place was a bookstore for 35 years, so there are books on these shelves that have been here for those 35 years,” but Jensen’s ‘f *ck you, get out’ attitude was something that the two co-owners wanted to change when they took the reigns. “That punk rock piece of him was, ‘F*ck you; I won’t do what you tell me.’ On the flipside of that, we’ve opened it up,

a long time ago,” Norris said. “So, when some young kid comes in and talks about doing a zine, you just say, ‘Do it,’ you know, and they go, ‘What? I have a spot to do it?’” While creating a space for creativity to thrive is a staple of Mutiny’s culture, the owners emphasized that creating a place for anyone to stop in and feel comfortable exploring was critical. Embracing artists, writers, musicians, and an alternative community inherently means embracing LGBTQ people. The cafe is located on Broadway and Ellsworth, and it was almost hard to keep up with Norris and Megyesi as they discussed the LGBTQ history of the neighborhood. “There was the bathhouse, the biggest bathhouse west of the Mississippi kind of deal. Three Kings was a gay bar,” Norris said. “And there was the Logan bar, The Cherry Pit,” Megyesi said.

you know? People are encouraged to come in here and sit and look at a book or listen to something,” Megyesi said. “Before it was, ‘Get in, get out.’ Now it’s more, ‘Come on in. Check things out.’” It’s clear talking to the co-owners that they are in awe of the work they do for a living. Talking about their roles in elevating Mutiny to what it is today, they beamed and grinned, speaking about the community they cultivated, especially among Denver’s creatives. “Any given moment, there’s probably someone around here drawing cartoons for a comic book,” Norris said. Both emphasized that the shop thrives upon community and provides a space for artists of any background to feel empowered to share their work. “We’ve watched kids come and go, ‘cause me and Matt got our start in doing zines

“There was Mike’s on Broadway for like 18 years, which was 18 years in, like, the 80s,” Norris said. “So, a gay bar from the 70s to the 80s? Those guys were amazing. Strong. I mean, in the middle of the West? I don’t know, just fierce, fierce people that settled this neighborhood. So, we want to honor that spirit, you know?” With all of the nightlife packed into the area, Mutiny also offers something that many other spots don’t: an alcoholfree, all-ages venue that is open late. Ultimately, Norris and Megyesi said the goal is to move to a 24-hour schedule, but in the meantime, both were proud to offer an option to people who want to go out to a late-night spot without alcohol and get a similar experience. “When you have a place like this, in the middle of all this night life, you come in here, and you have people having a good time and talking,” Megyesi said. “You’ve got the pinball machines that keep people entertained. You might have a comedy show, or a rock show, or even a movie showing. You’ve got a lot of creative stuff that’s going on that keeps people’s attention, and that’s why people

go to bars: because they want to have their attention captivated.” The owners emphasized that enhancing Mutiny in the past five years meant taking one step at a time and building on what the shop already had. Mutiny was able to shift and grow, but the staff is still small, and the owners are careful not to bite off too much at a time. The focus now is ensuring that Mutiny continues to thrive and evolve, and both owners said they’ve set themselves up for success so far. Adding more locations is the next step for Norris and Megyesi, though there is an element of cultural responsibility in branching out. “I think expansion in the next two years is going to be a big thing for us, just making sure we’re doing it right,” Megyesi said. “Imagine one of these, you know, not necessarily with a big venue in the back, but one of these in the middle of Littleton or Arvada? Something where kids can go to.” Norris added, “Kids can come in there and, you know, where can I buy a Noam Chomsky book, or a Dead Kennedys record, or a cup of coffee, and maybe go play some pinball, and buy the new Deadpool? That’s how we can change everything around us.” Living under the Trump Administration, Norris and Megyesi were firm on defending their cafe as a safe spot for people of different backgrounds and identities, and Norris said that keeping Mutiny a haven for knowledge, information, and creativity inherently makes that possible. “We’ve got that giant, neon, ‘books’ sign, and if that’s what attracts you into the door, that means 90 percent of the people that walk in that door are awesome people, because they’re attracted to books. That eliminated all those MAGA hats, all those idiot people. Just doing what we do eliminates the bullsh*t, you know?” Mutiny Information Cafe was voted by OUT FRONT readers as the Best Place to Grab a Cup of Coffee for 2018. Check them out at 2 S. Broadway: you will inevitably uncover far more there than just a tasty, brewed beverage. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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s e B s ’ 2018 er Artist Que

eremiah Corder is a gay photographer based in Denver. By day, he works for an advertising agency. By night, he takes what he describes as “queer photographs.” Most of his work is of drag queens, leading to a colorful and fantastic portfolio of subjects such as Yvie Oddly and Luka Ghost. He’s done photoshoots for OUT FRONT—you saw his vibrant, colorful work in our summer, body positive issue. He’s thoughtful about his place as a queer artist in the Denver community, and his work stands out as bold, queer, and entirely unique.

TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY TO BECOMING THE ARTIST YOU ARE TODAY. It’s been kind of weird, to be honest. I went to college and started out as a theater major, and I was not fitting in, and this was before I was openly gay. I knew that I was gay; I was dating men, but no one knew except a few close parties involved. I don’t really think I had developed my style, which is why

so many things weren’t working for me. I went all through college without coming out as gay, ended up switching to art, double-majored in graphic design and photo. After I graduated, I finally came out. That’s when I finally started developing a style and started really figuring out what I wanted to do, what I was passionate about, and how it could influence my work. It’s funny how it all came together. I had a friend at the university named Spencer, and he wasn’t there for very long, ended up

leaving and moving to Denver, and not long after I came out as gay, he became a drag queen—Vivica Galactica. She was going through her own journey, and I wanted to photograph her. It was beautiful and creative artistry; I thought it was awesome, and I had gone to my first drag show and thought it was so cool and hadn’t thought about photographing them. But when Spencer went down this path and became Vivica, I thought it was beautiful and wanted to see what I could do in my style—not just normal drag photography. We did our photoshoot, and my style emerged. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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HOW DO YOU MAKE A PHOTO ‘QUEER’? For me, it’s finding the right way to do it. I was taking the normal portraits like every photographer; then I started taking drag portraits, and that was self-explanatory in the queer world. I used it as an educational tool, knowing I came out later than a lot of people around me, that was my way to not only open the doors for conversation but educate my friends and family on gay culture, what it’s like, who these individuals are. It led me to work with OUT FRONT, taking subjects like bartenders and giving them a ‘gay Halloween twist.’ The summer, body-positive issue, for example, it’s about body positivity in a queer way—vibrant, fun, lively, not a yearbook portrait.

SO HOW DO YOU CONSCIOUSLY TRY TO ENSURE THAT YOUR WORK REMAINS INCLUSIVE, NOT JUST ALONG QUEER LINES BUT INCLUDING DIFFERENT BODY TYPES RACES, RACES, REPRESENTING EVERYONE? It’s pretty easy when you don’t think about it; the issue is when people think and analyze it. That’s when you start seeing issues. For me, it’s like, I want to photograph people; I don’t care about the color of their skin or body size. I care about what they bring to the table. When I’m doing a photoshoot, I want somebody to come to the table fully prepared, have their own creative mind and spirit, and let them help me bring that to life. That’s what I care about as far as being inclusive. Although I am more inclined to showcase people who like to showcase their artistry. Part of it is bringing their character to life, because so many times you see this drag queen, and you see their look and personality, but you don’t always see them the way they want to be seen. You make up your mind on who this person is when you watch them perform. With my photography, it’s intimate moments with natural, soft light, and it’s a way to get a little bit deeper into who they are as people.

TELL ME A BIT ABOUT WHAT PHOTOSHOOTS WITH YOU ARE LIKE. WHAT DO YOU DO TO MAKE SURE THAT SUBJECTS ARE HAPPY WITH HOW THEY’RE BEING PORTRAYED? I’ve been on shoots with several other photographers, so I understand there’s a variety in how people work. In my mind, I’ve never been the type of person who’s like, “Stand here; do this; I’m gonna take a photo.” My work is structured—it's not overly candid by any means. But I don’t like telling them what to do; I don’t want to push them to do a certain pose or to act a certain way, because I want to capture a bit of their personality in a photo as much as you can. Take Yvie Oddly. All the photos I’ve done of her, they’re very vibrant and bright; she’s very expressive. Then you take queens like Luka Ghost who came into town from Chicago, and now I think she’s living in New York. 2 2 \\ N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 8

Hers are more ethereal, and all of that is brought out by the queens. It’s not something I ask them to do. I want them to portray themselves.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ASPECT OF YOUR WORK? My favorite part is capturing who they are. As cheesy and cliché as that sounds, it’s who they are on the level of who this person actually is, not so much a façade they’re putting on, but how they could bring to life their own character. For me, as I was going through school, I studied studio lighting; I know how to take a portrait in a studio. That’s great, and it’s a really great way to show off a look, and a lot of times that’s what we’re doing when we’re photographing drag queens; we’re showing off the look. My work is not meant to just show off their look. My work is meant to show off their personality and give insight into who they are as people. I’m more in-depth, emotional, personal. I want my photos to tell a story, to give insight and educate, rather than to just show off, “Hey here’s a great look I put together.” That type of drag photography is valid and needed; it’s just not what I do.

CAN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR PURPOSE BEHIND MAKING QUEER ART? The purpose of queer art is partially educating people who may not understand or accept it, people who are confused, have questions. I think queer art is important in that case, because it’s helping this world become a better place. On that same note, it’s also giving people an understanding that things are going to be OK. For me as a young artist, before I was openly gay, I wasn’t following drag photographers or queer artists. Then, as soon as I started following these people, it was a whole new world. They’re queer, making art, successful, doing what they want to do. They’re happy in a society that’s not the most accepting. [The art] pays my soul; it gives me hope and joy, and it sort of keeps me going. I had a conversation with a new client right before this, and he was like, “I saw your name and that you were doing graphic design for this project, and I thought you were some old, boring dude. I Googled you and looked at your website, and honestly you’re the coolest dude I’ve ever met. You’re helping this low key business, and outside of that, your work is vibrant and fun, and you photograph drag queens.” That’s a great example of understanding; all he did was look at my website, and he got happy and was appreciative that I’m not cookie cutter. That's what queer art is about: how do you educate people about love, acceptance, opening arms to all individuals? There's no right or wrong gender, race, sexuality. We're all people. You should love everybody, and there's a meaning and fulfillment that I get from shooting a drag queen and spreading queer art.

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GATHER with friends for drinks

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alking into Mile High Hamburger Mary’s for their weekend drag brunch, the first thing you notice is the people. Normally, that’s not a particularly remarkable statement. But Mary’s is a bright purple building filled with drag queens and people drinking out of giant glasses shaped like the leg lamp in A Christmas Story. And still, the first thing you’ll notice is the clientele. Queers of all shapes and sizes pile into Mary’s for brunch every weekend. Older ladies out to brunch together; gaggles of guys scoping each other out; young people wearing cute outfits and swapping stories; a proud goth, trans person with a transgender flag sash draped across their shoulders, lots of makeup, and a Cradle of Filth T-shirt. And that’s not surprising, given how tasty the food is. The local community may be divided on certain issues, including which bars are the best, but food is the great equalizer. Everyone has to eat, and chances are, when Saturday and Sunday afternoons roll around, everyone is in need of a good, greasy breakfast, whether it’s because they were at the club all night or because they spent a lazy night at home and haven’t done their weekly grocery shopping yet. And the food doesn’t disappoint.

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R E G R U B HAMRY’S M2A018’s Best Brunch By Addison Herron-Wheeler Photos by Brian Degenfleder

Plus, the atmosphere is awesome. Drag brunch is very relaxed, with local queens like Evelyn Evermore and Kahleelah Cortez performing every week. Instead of a superstructured show, the queens do pop-up performances, invite the audience to join them when performing, and just generally keep things light and fun. And if all that isn’t festive enough the giant, leg-shaped glasses, colorful walls, cooky art, and fun servers keep things interesting. The general vibe is that Mary’s is a place where it’s OK to have fun and let loose. This is probably why so many queer folks feel safe within its walls. Brunch is a decidedly LGBTQ activity, but at least in Denver, it’s also been embraced by the straight community (which is fantastic; it's not like we have a trademark on brunch). But there’s no guarantee that every restaurant and all of its patrons will be as wonderful and openminded as the folks who work and hang out at Mary’s. You can come, be yourself, look how you want to look, and love who you want to love. It’s also probably why they won Best Brunch in OUT FRONT’s annual reader poll. Well, that and the delicious food. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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All cheesy, Cheers-esque rhetoric brought on by this joyful political season in Denver aside, the food is also killer. Here are a few of the best reasons to make Saturday or Sunday your cheat day and eat your heart out at Mile High Hamburger Mary’s.

Grill That Beyotch: It’s a grilled cheese with an egg and bacon on it. Sounds simple enough, but it’s like breakfast sandwich meets classic diner grilled cheese from your childhood. This is THE hangover cure you need after a rough night.

everyone wants to get experimental with their food choices. This is straightforward: tenders and fries, some dipping sauce on the side.

Mac n’ Cheese Fritters: Balls of mac n’ cheese are pretty much the epitome of decadence. It’s brunch; why the hell not? Plus, how many ball jokes can you make while you stuff these balls in your mouth? Make a game out of it.

Buffy the Burger Slayer: This review

classic BLT with guacamole and garlic aioli. The B.E.L.T. with bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato, and garlic aioli makes it even more breakfast-y, and the name is a hilarious reference if you’re into musicals.

Rainbow Fruit Parfait: Great if you’re not willing to break your diet plans, or if you just want “a little on the side,” as Mary says. Healthy and super good! Queen Mary Burger:

A classic. The biscuits are fluffy, and the gravy is delicious. Some green onions modernize the dish and add a pop of flavor that’s usually missing from the Southern favorite.

would not be complete without mention of at least one of the famous burgers. And how cute is this name? Nerds will order it just for the reference, but the roasted garlic, swiss cheese, and garlic aioli are to die for, or to be undead for. Just avoid a makeout sesh after eating this one, unless garlic is your thing. No kink shaming here.

Love Me Tenders: Perfect for the picky

L.G.B.T. Sandwich:

keep the drinks flowing for just $14 bucks. How much can you handle?

Biscuits and Gravy:

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Again, props for the cute name. And for updating the

Caramelized onions, cheddar cheese, super classic. Can’t go wrong.

Bloody Mary: They don’t even need a pun; it’s built in. This comes in a pint glass with veggies and spice, and it’s only $6. Definitely one of the best in town.

Bottomless Mimosa: ‘Nuff said. They

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r e v o e k Ta r e e u The Q Sante Fe d n a h t 5 of

But Trade quickly became a hub for Denver’s gay men, and the success after its first year gave the owners the opportunity to buy the space cattycorner to Trade and open a second queer bar, Gladys: The Nosy Neighbor.

Capitalizing on the closure of another queer bar in Denver was not the intention of Hurtado or Newell; rather, they wanted to provide a space for a community of people who lost their host bar.

“We had wished for something like this to happen, but we had no idea just how successful the two bars would be,” Hurtado said. “We have people of all types and identities that walk in these doors and tell us how welcome it is or how much fun they are having.”

Today, Skivvy Strip Down is a staple in Denver, gathering all kinds of people on Thursdays to pull down their pants.

He’s not wrong. OUT FRONT’s readers voted Trade the best cruising bar, the LGBTQ bar with the best music, bartenders, and beer bust in 2018. Gladys snatched the title of best drag shows, best chill spot, best bartenders (a tie with Trade), and best overall queer bar. Combined, Trade and Gladys claimed seven of the 10 categories catered to Denver’s LGBTQ bars. “It’s humbling. Very humbling,” Newell said. “It also means that we are achieving what we set out to do when we opened Trade over two years ago. I’m glad that the community feels safe and wanted here. It makes all the hard work worth it.”

By Ryan Howe Photos by Veronica Holyfield, Brian Degenfelder, and Stu Osborne

ver the past few years, the corner of Fifth Avenue and Sante Fe Drive in Denver’s art district has been taken over by queers. When Chris Newell and Ray Hurtado opened the doors to a leather-and-Levi's bar, twoand-a-half years ago, they had no idea the bar would become as popular as it did—especially with the sheer number of LGBTQ bars that are littered all over Denver.

That hard work kicks into high gear every Thursday, when each bar hosts a completely different and equally popular event Trade’s Underwear Night and Gladys’ Weirdo.

Thursday Before Trade opened its doors back in April of 2016, The Denver Eagle hosted a night of scantily clad men proudly sporting their leather and fetish gear. As The Denver Eagle shut its doors, its Thursday night underwear party went with it. But the loyal supporters of the high-volume event were looking for a replacement. Within a month, Trade filled that void.

“I’d guess that’s one of the main reasons people voted us ‘The Crusiest Bar,’” Newell said. “It definitely is one of our more popular nights, especially in the summer when people can be in their underwear on the patio.” Although the inside is both welcoming and spacious, Trade’s patio is a hit on underwear night. With a full bar, multiple tables and stools, a fireplace, and even a freight car tagged with Trade’s signature logo, the patio offers customers the chance to show off in the summer and warm up in the winter. Most Thursdays are packed with men sporting their favorite undies, leather gear, fetish gear, or jock strap and hanky combo. There’s no cover on Thursdays, but it’ll cost you a dollar to stash your underwear in a locker. Across the street, Gladys’ weekly drag competition, Weirdo, hosts a completely different crowd. Weirdo is unlike any weekly drag show in Denver. Many wouldn’t even call it a drag show, but since the main goal is to lip sync and deliver an eccentric performance, that’s exactly what we will call it. Started by Vivica Galactica, the show’s new host, IzzyDead, continues to pull in Denver's alternative and queer community, making it one of the city's most diverse drag shows. For $3, anyone can come in and see Izzy introduce some of Denver’s elite drag performers—including OUT FRONT'S 2018 best drag artists Dustin Schlong and Lisa Frank Cortez—alongside ambitious newcomers to the stage to compete for $150, a Strap Up Custom Gear harness, and the title of Mx. Weirdo. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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The night is for the customers as much as it is the performers. Queer people of all shapes, sizes, colors, identities, and ages fill the cabaret bar waiting to see something shocking or inspiring, or both. “It’s one of the most diverse crowds I’ve ever seen in a Denver queer bar,” Trade and Gladys Manager Josh McArthur said. “It brings out a lot of people that don’t find a home bar anywhere else. It’s not cruisey like Trade—all queer bars are cruisey in nature. People come here to belong, and it’s our job to make sure that happens.” McArthur, who has been with Trade since before it even opened, helping with the renovations, contributes the success of the bars to the open, accepting, and celebratory nature of the two spots.

Starting next month, Dustin Schlong and Denver’s drag kings—and maybe some local queens dressed as kings—are taking over every first Friday, Denver’s only drag show catered to kings. Every other Friday is dominated by the self-proclaimed “good Christian woman” Kai Lee Mykels. In Gladys, the main room is open and allows space to easily move around as it fills up on the big event nights. Skee ball and dart boards are available for play, and the energy in the room is fueled by the loud conversations around the bar. In a second room, high-top tables are scattered along the main attraction of the room where the magic at Gladys lives—the stage.

“That has been Chris and Ray’s goal from the beginning, and they start with the staff,” McArthur said. “I’ve been in this industry for more than a decade, and I’ve never worked for anyone like them. When you start working here, you’re in their family, and they take care of you and make you feel welcome. That energy and attitude translates to our customers.”

“When we opened Gladys, we talked a lot about what it’d be,” explained Newell. Newell knew that he would potentially be competing against himself. “We definitely played off the idea that it would be Trade’s neighbor. The bar had a stage already, so it lent itself to doing more shows. We’ve seen some come and go, but the shows we have now are amazing.”

Friday

Saturday & Sunday

On Friday, McArthur moves across the street to Trade—the bartenders on staff work at both venues— to take advantage of one of Trade’s busiest, most eccentric nights. With a rotating list of events that cater to a variety of tastes and kinks, Trade has appropriately reclaimed Fridays for fetishes.

There’s no rest for the wicked, as Trade opens up early on Saturday—for those that want to start early or collect their forgotten debit card. Occasionally hosting a brunch, the bar opens at 11 a.m. At 3:30 p.m., the Saturday Beer Bust begins, donating money to whichever nonprofit is pouring the event. At 7:30 p.m., Beer Bust ends, but the night has only begun for the staff.

Starting off the month is Jocks and Socks, where the staff and customers sport their favorite athleticwear—tall baseball socks, jockstraps, singlets, etc. The second Friday is Pup Mosh, the night dedicated to pups, handlers, and their admirers. On the third Friday of every month, they are joined by the Rocky Mountain Leather Alliance, while they pay homage to the leather and kink traditions at Rough Play. The following week, the bar pays homage to a great cruising tradition, The Hanky Code. If a month has a fifth Friday, resident DJs Dirty Diesel and Craig C take the bar into the Red Light, turning off any bright lights and playing “dark and sexy house music.” Alongside the residents, Trade hosts a number of local and travelling DJs to perform at their fetish nights. “Both Diesel and Craig C play music that you don’t get to hear in other queer spaces in Denver,” McArthur said. “It’s good to hear that people appreciate that.” Across the street, however, there’s a completely different vibe. “I’d definitely say Gladys is different than Trade,” McArthur said. “While Trade is more leather and fetish-focused, Gladys is more a low-key, cabaret bar. A lot of really good drag shows.” 3 0 \\ N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 8

While Trade hosts a number of rotating or special events, Gladys is taking a trip through the decades with DJ Craig C at events Whatever and Made in 90s. Occasionally, another drag show will pop up, like Willow Pill’s Pillbox. On Sunday, Trade hosts another Beer Bust highlighting and donating to a separate nonprofit, before Gladys opens up the stage to anyone wanting to show off their pipes at Ginger’s Karaoke Ho-Down. “We opened these two bars with the intent to give back to the community that we are in, that we love,” Newell said. “We're going to continue to do that, and I really hope that people continue to come out and have a good time—no matter what they are looking to get into."

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By Addison Herron-Wheeler Photos by Charles Broshous

R A B X

hen Caleb Roth left his job as a middle school teacher to become general manager of X Bar, he wasn’t looking for money, local fame, or an impressive title. He wanted to make a difference. “I’ve taken measures like gender-neutral bathrooms with really cute signs and also just opening up our performers into all walks of life, bio queens, drag kings, and trans performers,” Roth explained regarding the changes he has made since becoming manager. “We try to encourage all types of life to work for us. We have a female dancer, which a lot of bars don’t, and female beer pourers.We have staff members who are women, even some staff members who are straight.” A few years ago, although X Bar was still known as one of the best bars in Denver providing a friendly, safe queer atmosphere with good drinks, it was frequented primarily by gay men. This

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began to shift as times changed, and Roth made sure to push things in an even more inclusive direction. Now, in addition to being known for its inclusivity and the variety of patrons at the bar, it is known for all of its new amenities, like their patio, voted Best Bar Patio in OUT FRONT this year. Anyone who has visited X Bar knows that the outside patio is awesome, with an outdoor bar, a place for DJs, lots of games, and plenty of sitting and standing room. Their beer bust is one of the best in the city, and they are even installing heaters and a cabana so they can keep things going all winter. But what really sets even the patio apart is the way patrons are treated.

“We serve people as they get to the bar,” Roth explained. “It doesn’t matter if you’re a man, woman, best friends with bartender, work at X Bar. It’s not going to be based on who you are or know or look like.” In addition to serving everyone equally, Roth feels that friendly members of the staff help make bargoers feel more at home. It’s common for patrons to ask for bartenders by name, or come in because they know their favorite staff member is working a shift. “Between us hosting open events, really promoting throughout our staff and our performers to have equality and inclusion, we have really just tried to open people’s eyes that it’s not just a

gay bar for gay men," he added. “I think that may have been a rep that we first had, and coming from Kansas, I couldn’t even be out as a gay, white man, which is now the least of my worries. I came here expecting to find a community of love and inclusion, but there are people who hate on other members of the community. We want to change that.” Despite all of these positive changes so far, Roth recognizes the bar still has a ways to go. He has a number of products in the works for 2018, including expansion to one shared bathroom with more space, bigger parties for Pride with more special acts, more inclusive and diverse drag shows, and a few exciting things that can’t be announced yet. He would also like to continue the good work employee and performer Miss Phit has done to raise money for the

trans community. Roth would like to offer community sensitivity training about how to refer to trans folks and be sensitive to all gender identities. “I know I myself, as a gay man from Kansas, wasn’t familiar with pronouns and different terminology,” he said. “Miss Phit has been phenomenal about informing me about the trans community with this fundraiser, and when we first started, we sat down with the Transformative Freedom Fund, and I flat-out just asked any questions I had. That really helped inform me, and that would be a great thing to do for the community as well. I think people have questions, and they don’t know how to ask them. I’d like to make a safe space for the community to do that.” Roth would also like to see both more

inclusion and bigger, better parties when it comes to special events. X Bar traditionally throws a lumbersexual party populated chiefly by chiseled men in lumberjack attire. He is going to work to make sure women, non-binary folks, and all types of bodies are represented. He would also like to see a female Santa during Christmas and generally play with gender bending and inclusion when it comes to X Bar events. And most of all, we can expect beer busts and regular patio events to keep going. Throughout the rest of 2018 and into 2019, things will keep getting bigger and better. There will be outdoor events with special themes all year round, and things will only get hotter and heavier once the summer comes. X Bar’s patio will keep on growing, and so will the inclusion and love within the bar itself.

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S K C A TR t s e B s ’ 8 1 0 2 r o o l F Dance

his year, Tracks snatched the award for Best Dance Floor, and we’re totally not shocked. With Denver’s most inclusive cast of go-go dancers paired with some of Denver’s best DJs—we’re looking at you, DJ Nina Flowers—iconic, queer guest DJs; one of the nation’s biggest drag shows; multiple dance floors; and plenty of room to shake your *ss, was there ever any competition?

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Photos by Brian Degenfelder

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N I T DUSLONG SCH est B s â&#x20AC;&#x2122; 8 1 20 g n i K g Dra

By Addison Herron-Wheeler Photo by Stu Osborne

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lmost any given night on a drag stage, you’ll see some of Denver’s proud kings strutting alongside the queens. In fact, with the advent of drag nights like Weirdo and Koven popping up all the time, it’s no surprise that drag is becoming one glorious, amorphous style of performance art where the boundaries between drag queens, bio queens, drag kings, and general self-expression become blurred, and everyone is just there to dance. It wasn’t like that a few years ago. In fact, when local king Dustin Schlong first mentioned his desire to don a fake mustache and get up on stage, he was brushed off. “I used to frequent going to Charlie’s all the time to watch the Good Christian Bingo every night and fell in love with watching the performances and Kylie Michaels,” he told OUT FRONT. “Then I made a mention of it to some friends one day, and this guy just shot me down, said it was meant for guys dressing up as girls, and I kind of brushed it off. Then I stumbled into Blush & Blu one night, and they were having a drag king game night.” Dustin began to look up to kings and queens in the community. He eventually found a drag mother, Vivica Galactica, a well-known local queen who has since moved on to New York, and a drag brother, Calder Goodlay. And he began to cultivate his own persona. “When I first started drag, he kind of had a whole f*ckboi persona,” he explained. “When I’m out as just me, not in drag, I tend to be a little bit more shy, and the Dustin persona is kind of a complete flip of that where I can be this confident guy.” As he kept performing and honed his skills, makeup, outfits, and moves, Dustin realized he was more confident all the time when he was dressed like a man, because he was a man. Up until his drag took off, Dustin had identified as cis female, but never really felt confident owning that label. He realized that, at least for him, it was more than just an act. It was a way to realize gender expression.

“I recently came out as trans in the past year, and a lot of that came from doing drag. I would get ready for a show and see that confidence, see a side of me I’ve never been able to express and play with and really hone in and own it. Being able to live such an open life has been very reassuring.” This attitude also gave him the confidence to to get more creative on stage. “With gender being a spectrum, you can do a king performance but do a lot more gender bending with it,” he said. “People always used to aim for masculinity, but now you can play with it more and make it more glamorous with a feminine edge. Now that’s a part of the art of drag, and you can bend it and have more fun with it.” As soon as Dustin embraced both the androgynous, slightly femme side of being a drag king and the fact that he identifies as a man on and off the stage, he started getting even more comfortable, and experimental, with his drag. Instead of just sticking to the f*ckboi persona and playing up being a loveable jerk, he started to venture outside of those tropes and embrace a dorkier side of drag that better reflects his everyday life. He has even coined a new style, “dad drag,” personified by goofy jokes and looks. Fast forward to today: Dustin just won Best Drag King in OUT FRONT’s Best Of poll and is about to start his very own show at Gladys, All Night Schlong. The show will feature up-and-coming kings and all king performances, all night long. He is also a photographer with Tits, Tucks, and Genderf*cks, a group that specializes in taking pictures of drag kings. “A lot of it has been having to prove who we are and what we’ve got, but it’s definitely getting there,” he said regarding the local drag king scene. “I’m excited for this next stage where I get to give new kings and the local scene a stage to perform on.” Look out for Dustin doing big things on stage as both a performer and an MC in the coming year. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

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By Ryan Howe Photos by Stu Osborne

K N A R F A LIS TEZ R O C 18â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best 20

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n e e u rag Q

ast November, Lisa Frank Cortez had barely touched down in Denver. They had been here less than six months and were trying to find their footing in the local drag scene—no easy feat here in the Mile High City. They had only what they could fit in a few suitcases and hit the ground running. Known for outlandish performances and genderbending looks, she waited alongside the stage at Gladys: The Nosy Neighbor confidently, ready to destroy the competition in the final lip sync at Weirdo’s Hunger Games-inspired night. As Green Day’s “American Idiot” started blaring over the speakers, the single spotlight found its first target of the lip-sync: Lisa Frank Cortez. Dressed as a tree wearing a confederate flag singlet and noose, the audience was both gagged and in love.They couldn’t take their eyes off of Lisa Frank Cortez as they flailed around the stage wrapping the audience in their noose. “That performance was so on-brand for me,” Lisa said. “I’ve always drawn inspiration from radical black queers and trash punk queens. I used to call myself a ‘trash queen’ but, because I’m on the trans spectrum as nonbinary, I stopped calling myself a ‘drag queen’ and I consider myself a ‘drag artist.’ I’m a ‘trash artist’ now. “Most people only consider drag as an art form if you’re dressing as a real girl. I think drag is gender expression in general, so I don’t dress as a woman or man. My drag is also nonbinary.” When Lisa was 17 and living as a “young scene kid,” they saw Party Monster for the first time, which continues to inspire all of their looks and performances today. After college, as they began partying more, Lisa found herself at Little Rock, Arkansas’ queerest house parties hosted by the Haus of Avalon. The first time Lisa went out in drag was for their Disco Bloodbath party. “I’ve always loved performance art, couture fashion, and extreme pride in queerness. So, when I started pulling looks, that’s what I was trying to do, the club kid look. It stuck around,” Lisa said. “People ate it up, because I was this black queer who was pulling these very, very weird looks. It had never been seen before in Little Rock.” At that same party, Lisa was approached by their drag mother and joined the Haus of Cortez—also home to recent Ultimate Queen Kelela Cortez and Reprobabe. As a Haus, they would travel to surrounding states and cities to branch out of their home base In January 2017, Blush & Blu booked the Haus of Cortez for a show. The weeklong visit to Denver pushed the artists to move out to Denver—thanks

in large part to Yvie Oddly and Anka Shane. Yvie offered to help them get gigs, and even let them crash at their house in Rhino. Lisa set a date to be in Denver in three months. At the end of that three months, Lisa packed up a few interchangeable day outfits and a lot of drag into a few small suitcases that they stacked alongside Kelela, Reprobabe, and one other’s few, small suitcases in a four-door Sedan. When the bags didn’t fit, they spent the morning pulling out what they could bear to leave behind. When they touched down in Denver, Lisa had $150 and the drive to make a name for herself. She snatched a a job at Mile High Hamburger Mary’s and booked as many gigs as she could. “When I first started working here, everyone compared me to Yvie, which I understood, but it was annoying,” Lisa said. “I felt like it was because we were both experimental, brown queens. But we are different performers with different brands. For a while, I wanted to stop performing, but winning this reaffirms that I am appreciated.” Today, you can catch Lisa Frank Cortez performing in a number of shows, getting witchy at Gladys’ Koven, where they are a resident witch, or hosting Drip at X Bar alongside their drag sister Kelela. “It feels really humbling to be voted the best in Denver,” Lisa said. “There are so many phenomenal performers here. I mean, I know I deserve it, but I’m ecstatic that others do, too.” OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

// 4 1

CABIN FEVER AT CHARLIE'S

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Photos by Charles Broshous

Today in Colorado, 290 children and teens are waiting to be adopted. You can help.

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In the early years of queer culture,

into six. Going out to bars is embedded

you are a GBTQ male between ages

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other LGBTQ people. Queer culture

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called Denver Pique that puts on fun,

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of the bars and into the streets!” So

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OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

// 4 9

Dueling with Depression

EVERY DAY is Halloween

Photo and Column by Mike Yost

think about.

I’m so bummed out.

Horrific to think about! Punctuated with a penetrating loneliness that threatens to collapse the sun.

You’re always bummed out. Not when it’s Halloween, and Halloween is over. Yep. They’re already playing Christmas music in stores. That’s really depressing. Indeed. But f*ck that! Every day is Halloween!

So. . . why do you like Halloween? Why watch all those scary movies? Scary movies should be watched all year round, not just on Halloween. Whatever. Doesn’t all that horror and screaming on the screen remind you of all the horror and screaming in your mind?

That’s an old song.

It’s not so much a reminder—believe me. I’ve never needed a reminder of the lingering, shadowy presence of depression. Maybe it’s because the horror movie itself becomes this physical narrative of the horror in my head.

“Why can’t I live a life for me?”

And that’s a good thing?

You’re old.

Even a cathartic thing!

“Why should I take the abuse that’s served?”

Maybe you just need more meds.

Why do you like Halloween so much, anyway?

Take one of the most iconic horror movies ever made: Hellraiser, written and directed by Clive Barker, released in 1987.

No, it’s not. Don’t you listen to Ministry?

Why the hell not? Colorful leaves are falling gracefully from branches bare, dancing in the cool breeze. I get to wear colorful scarves. People walking the streets dressed as Michael Myers. Pumpkin carving. Candy! Scary movies! But you suffer from depression that sometimes has you crying alone in your apartment. Usually in the shower, and you’re sharing way too much again. You also suffer from anxiety that often paralyzes you with fear, not to mention all the panic attacks. And I sometimes try to overcompensate for that fear, especially if I’m around someone I like. I’ve said and done so much stupid sh*t that torpedoed so many possible relationships; you have no idea. And all of those potentially happy relationships, all of those futures negated by your mental instability. Must be painful to 5 0 \\ N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 8

That OLD movie with that tall, leather-clad dude with all the pins nailed into his skull? Yes! Pinhead! And those terrifying demon things? They’re called Cenobites, silly. When I first saw the movie, I remember relating to all those wonderfully woeful words that slid out between Pinhead’s pale lips. Like when the main character, Kristy— Kirsty. Whatever. When Kirsty opens that puzzle box which summons Pinhead and those demon things? Cenobites! Kirsty’s crying in terror, surrounded by these unsympathetic creatures from another dimension, all bound

in flesh and leather and blood, when Pinhead says, “Oh, no tears please. It’s a waste of good suffering!” That’s a creeptastic line. Indeed. Don’t forget when Pinhead says, “Pain has a face. Allow me to show it to you.” Actually, that quote is from Hellraiser IV: Bloodline, the fourth movie in the franchise that came out in 1996 and was— OK, I get it, I get it. What’s your point? Those quotes are relatable through the lens of depression, or any mental anguish. Especially when Pinhead proudly proclaims in Bloodlines, “I. Am. Pain!” He’s the physical manifestation of depression, how it can take on this painful, over-the-top movie monster that dominates all of my thinking, torturing and terrifying me to no end.

end of long, black chains that dig deep into the mind, tearing at my thoughts as my brain is ripped apart—Pinhead standing over me without expression, eyes unblinking as I scream helplessly in muted suffering. That’s a bit too vivid. And unsettling. Just like the movie! And because that fear and pain is personified into all this vivid imagery on the movie screen, it’s somehow not as frightening in my skull. But Pinhead tortures those poor souls in the movies. Don’t forget that Kirsty is absolutely overwhelmed and paralyzed by Pinhead and the Cenobites at first, but she fights back! She’s drowning in this deluge of fear and hopelessness, but she still fights back! So, you’re saying Hellraiser gives you hope? And that’s why I dig horror movies!

Depression is like the movie Hellraiser?

You need more therapy.

Where slender, sharp hooks shoot out of the darkness at the

I need to watch Hellraiser again. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM

// 5 1

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