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THIS ISSUE
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> CONTENTS March 18, 2015 News Briefs
10 There’s No Turning Back 14 Log Cabin Fever 15 She’s Back! 22 Calendar 25 Welcome to the Gayborhood! 38 A More Perfect Union Station
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39 One Man’s Trash is Another Garden’s Treasure 42 Local Fashion 44 The New 411 on Breakfast Staples 46 Marketplace 49 Bar Tab 52 How to Develop Your Inner Douchebag 58 BackWords
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3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 • Fax: 303-325-2642 Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO • Instagram: /OutFrontColorado Out Front is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. FOUNDER Phil Price, 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com Jerry Cunningham, Publisher J.C. McDonald, Vice President MaGGIE Phillips, Operations Manager Jeff Jackson Swaim, Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE, Editor Noah L. Jordan, Digital Content Manager Contributing Writers Kyle Harris, Scott McGlothlen, Shanna Katz, Brent Heinze, Kelsey, Lindsey, Chris Arneson, Jonathan McGrew, Gary M. Kramer, Alison Wisneski, Anna Biscay, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, O’Brian Gunn, Kimberly Hamelin, and Marc Coulter Intern Stefanie Cochrane
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cutting • styling • color • extensions • blowouts • makeup facials • manicures • waxing • body treatments 4 5 0 E . 1 7 TH A V E . D E N V E R 8 0 2 0 3 • 7 2 0 - 5 4 2 - 3 4 8 8 Outfrontonline .com | 5
Jerry Cu nningham , Publishe r
J.C. McDonald, Vice President
Krier, Dustin les r of Sa o t c e ir D
e, lvestr y S n i Berl Editor
Noah L. Jordan , Digital Content Manager
hday and In honor of celebrating Out Front ‘s birt nts, take reliving a few of the mag’s finer mome a look at the staff in our beginnings.
Incidentally, these snapsh ots are our finest moments. (You’ve met us , right?) 6 | april 1, 2015
Maggie P hillips, Operatio ns Manag er
Marketin Jay Duque, g & Eve nts (on righ Coordinator t)
acobs, Jordan Jing Executive arket Senior M
Topher La Fleur, Marketing Executive
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news briefs Berlin Sylvestre
Here Comes the Pride The [United States] Presbyterian Church has amended its constitution to allow ministers to perform same-sex marriages.
Rev. Rodney McKenzie, faith work director for the National LGBTQ Task Force, responded: “The Presbyterian Church [of the USA], with the passage of Amendment 14F, joins a growing number of faith communities working to create a welcoming space of worship for [LGBTQ] people. We applaud the work of More Light Presbyterians and other groups within the church who worked diligently over the years to reach this historic day.”
Who is Aaron Schock? He was a US Representative and rising star in the GOP, but after news outlet POLITICO put his work expenditures on blast, he up and resigned. Apart from decking out his office in Downton Abbey-inspired interior redesigns and hiring a photog to follow him around the country for snapshots — all on taxpayers’ dime, mind you — the totally-not-gay Republican was busted selling his car. The problem? The car was sold with roughly 80k miles on it … yet he billed the federal government and his campaign for 170k miles of travel and was reimbursed. The now-disgraced statesman most likely wouldn’t have been caught, but had his affinity for charging Uncle Sam for luxury hotels, pricey restaurants, and flying on private jets set off red flags for journalists. Oh well. Another one bites the dust.
D&G gets dressed down by the community After Dolce & Gabbana called children who were the result of in-vitro fertilization “children of chemistry, synthetic children” and tossed around ideas like “uteruses for rent, semen chosen from a catalog,” they triggered a major backlash from people who can’t conceive naturally, as well as those who sympathize for them. Dolce added: “I am gay, I cannot have a child. I guess you cannot have everything in life.” Courtney Love, Ricky Martin, Andy Cohen, Ryan Murphy, Martina Navratilova, and thousands of people around the Twitterverse have agreed to boycott their products. My bank account’s insisted I do that for years now. Bathroom Wars, Florida-style A Miami Republican has proposed House Bill 583 that would essentially require the ID of anyone using a public restroom to match the sign on the door. (You guys! With the bathroom stuff, jeez!) So the legislation would look like this: Single-Sex Public Facilities: Requires
that use of single-sex facilities be restricted to persons of sex for which facility is designated; prohibits knowingly and willfully entering single-sex public facility designated for or restricted to persons of other biological sex; provides exemptions; provides private cause of action against violators; provides for preemption. Of course, you can understand the outcry from our trans pals, who (rightfully) view this as another affront on their right to just pee in peace, for cryin’ out loud. The bill’s author, State Rep. Frank Artiles, responded: “A man such as myself can walk into the bathroom at LA Fitness while women are taking showers, changing, and simply walk in there. Someone can say, ‘What are you doing there?’ Under the ordinance, I don’t have to respond. It’s subjective. If I feel like a woman that day, I can be allowed to be in that locker room. I don’t know about you, but I find that disturbing.” Trans’ rights advocates aren’t buying it, wanting to see some actual cases of this happening on so grand a scale as to need this law implemented in the first place. Of the 20 municipalities in Florida who’ve gotten rid of any gender discrimination bathroom laws, none have filed complaints of bathroom predators. So there’s that.
s adness! March Mh a new pet! All adoptios,n
Kenai – ID# 0354734
Meet Kenai! She’s described by her new pals here as a very sweet dog who walks well on a leash and responds to “sit.” She’d do best in a home without kids under 12, and would like to meet any household dog prior to adoption.
8 | april 1, 2015
JUSTICE – ID# 0699220
Justice is a sweet dog who loves treats and going on walks! She’s housetrained, likes car rides, and enjoys other dogs, according to her previous owner. She’s looking for a forever home with loving, gentle owners — preferably with no children under age 8.
wit tion a sure bet ial vaccina it Take home /neuter surgery, init l office vis ay a free initia L.org d include sp n a t, n la . DDF ID imp terinarian microchip ipating ve ic rt a p a h wit e nds Leagu Dumb Frie t e e tr S c uebe 2080 S. Q
legal DirectOry legal profile John M. McHugh is a litigation attorney and he focuses his practice on civil and complex commercial litigation. In 2014, McHugh served as the lead attorney in the landmark lawsuit challenging Colorado’s laws that prohibited same-sex marriage. For his work on this case, he was named the “Barrister of the Year” from the GLBT Community Center of Colorado and the case is currently a finalist for the Colorado Trial Lawyers Association’s “Case of the Year” Award. The fight for marriage equality has absolutely been a personal mission for McHugh. Born in rural Idaho, he came to Colorado a few years ago from New York, where he earned his law degree from the New York University School of Law. McHugh also holds an undergraduate degree, with honors, in English and classical studies from the University of Idaho. Outside of the courtroom, McHugh and his husband Rob Barber enjoy living in Broomfield, Colorado with their baby girl, Emma. On the weekends, when they are not working on or around their home, they enjoy taking their dogs hiking in Colorado’s beautiful Rocky Mountains. Congratulation to John M. McHugh, his work and passion for law stand as a guiding light for continued positive social change across our amazing state and nation!
bacHuS & ScHanker, llc
866-277-6711 • www.ColoradoLaw.net 1899 Wynkoop St., Suite 700, Denver Personal Injury • Auto Accidents Worker’s Compensation • Wage Disputes
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303-331-1700 • www.BlochChapleau.com 1725 Gaylord St., Denver Family Law • Civil Union Dissolutions Pre-Union Agreements • Auto Accidents
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303-861-7717 • www.FrazerFamilyLaw.com 936 E. 18th Ave, Denver Family Law/Civil Unions • Divorce • Child Custody
law Office Of byrOn k. HammOnD, llc 303-501-1812 • www.BKH-Law.com 3900 E. Mexico Ave., Denver Wills • Trusts • Estate Planning • Probate • Elder Law
wOODy law firm, llc
303-968-1711 • www.WoodyLawLLC.com 1407 Larmier St., Suite 300, Denver Dissolution of civil unions & marriages Legal Separation • Second Parent Adoption
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Outfrontonline .com | 9
There’s No Turning Back A brief history of Out Front David Duffield
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he premier issue of Out Front covered hustling in Denver, the coronation of the International Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire, and more. Phil Price, owner, wrote an op-ed hoping Out Front would ensure “quality journalism for all the gay people in the Rocky Mountain Region.” He recommended that readers send letters to the editors and stressed the quality journalism he hoped to achieve. “In the spirit of gay brotherhood and sisterhood,” he invited the community to read. Ads for Christi for Empress, the Empire Baths, and Gay Cowboys adorned the pages, while sex sold the rest. The second issue’s editorial by Michael Clarken reflected the fall of South Vietnam and noted “America’s imperialist chickens” had come home to roost. The lesson of Vietnam, he concluded for gays and lesbians, was that “the path to liberation” lay in solidarity. The 1977 Pride issue showed a black man holding a sign promoting “Power to the People” while another man held a sign saying “I AM A FAGGOT.” 1976–1981 represented a great time of features on the community such as youth, activism, gays in prison, and a continuous dialogue in letters to the editor. 1981 noted a battle between Julian Rush and his church, and a prophetic piece by Phil Nash in 1982 — Health From Clap to Kaposi’s — which noted that the Gay Liberation Movement was synonymous with a laissez-faire attitude toward sex, and a “ticking time bomb” of alarming infections among gay men. “We have only seen the tip of the iceberg,” Nash wrote. Gay athletes, gay ski week, bi-racial men’s groups, political action, and HIV/AIDS stories proliferate up to 1986. Clubs like the Foxhole and Tracks, bars like Charlie’s and the Triangle, and gay businesses began to fill the pages. Messages like “Get tested” and “Go square dancing” grow, while drag dominated, and community culture permanently graced the pages. Anti-discrimination ordinances in Boulder, Aspen, and Denver follow from 1987–1990. A Lesbian For Governor? Activist Takes on Romer, Media & Establishment noted Tea Schook’s efforts on the anti-discrimination ordinances and her run against Gov. Romer.
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Most of the stories in 1991 and 1992 shift to the cultural or national efforts to repeal antidiscrimination laws that seem distant. Jim McNulty reported that Amendment 2 Solidifies Community Like Never Before while Judy Herrington noted: “In the face of defeat … this has turned into something to galvanize the community.” In the years after, columns reshaped the pages of Out Front and politics settled. However, the obituaries that appear in each issue are almost exclusively those of gay men. HIV and the “hate state” left their mark. From 1994 to 1996, stories told of the establishment of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and the maneuverings of Marilyn Musgrave to establish the Defense of Marriage Act. The headline on May 2, 1996 was The Burying of Amendment 2. However, another article noted “gay apathy” toward Amendment 2. A year later, Dan Haney wrote an article about a promising new HIV cocktail (High Hopes for AIDS Drug Mix) at the 12th annual conference on AIDS. Cultural coverage grew from the 1997–2000, though a 1998 article noted Gay Marriage Ban likely in ’99. Issues like gay marriage and gays in the Boy Scouts replaced anti-discrimination. One article by Paula Martinez asked Are Gays
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From discriminatory legislation to what’s new in pop culture, Out Front has been in the vanguard of bringing news and entertainment to the LGBT+allied community
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of the Mountain West.
Better Off Today? She noted that “by many indications, attitudes toward gay people are gradually changing.” There were significant advances in popular culture post-2000. Reviews of Queer As Folk appeared, and openly gay actors and television characters flourished. Geoffrey Bateman noted in An Army of NONE: The Failure of DADT that the “homophobic values” DADT promoted “influence civilian lives,” and that “the military continues to play a powerful and highly visible role in our culture; we cannot afford to ignore its treatment of us.” Gay families and photos of gay men and women with their children at Pride appeared in the headlines. In My Big Gay Family Renee Fajardo noted three generations of his family who were gay. As well, transgender coverage came to the fore. Racially diverse, family-oriented, and shifting values were reflected in our images. Times changed. Coverage of domestic partnerships gave way to marriage equality in Amendment I and 43 in 2006. After the defeat, Pat Steadman wrote “among the most important lessons is turning out the vote.” In Queering the Convention, Sunnivie Brydum spoke about the Stonewall Dems and political capital of the gay community. The Rights Five (employment non-discrimination, public accommodations, hate crimes protection, second parent adoption, and designated beneficiaries) adorned the paper and populated pride. The repeal of DADT in 2011, the defeat of civil unions in 2012 then victory in 2013, and marriage equality in 2014 followed quickly. Apparently there is no turning back, and in the “spirit of brotherhood and sisterhood,” we invite you to read on. SUV Lexus GX 460
Outfrontonline .com | 11
Someone Leave a Cake Out?
Denver PrideFest celebrates marriage equality with landmark sculpture by artist Lonnie Hanzon Rex Fuller disco balls.) Lonnie has a unique way of combining all kinds of objects into appealing and engaging public artworks that morph into interactive, one-of-a-kind events. Equality Cake will provide festival attendees with a dramatic backdrop for selfies and social media. In a combination of whimsy and seriousness, it will also list all of the 1,138 benefits, rights, and privileges of marriage as defined by the US General Accounting Office. Lonnie wants crowds to be attracted to the sculpture’s colorful glitz while being moved by its content and intent.
Here Comes the Pride
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y goal as a creator is to reach the largest audience possible with images and messages of joy, history, and faith in the human spirit,” says artist Lonnie Hanzon. Known internationally for his monumental works of public art, Lonnie is preparing to bring his artistic vision to Denver PrideFest in celebration of the event’s 40th anniversary. Equality Cake will be a temporal sculpture created in the heart of the Denver’s LGBT pride festival. At 20 feet tall, it will serve as a glittering, celebratory centerpiece adding a fun and colorful element to the festival while also articulating important concepts about marriage equality and the history of the LGBT political movement. Timed with the pending decision in the U.S. Supreme Court that could possibly make marriage equality the law of the land, the sculpture will be created from steel, foam, and mirrored disco balls. (Yes,
[ [ SAVE THE DATE!
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With an astute sense of visual dramatics and an understanding of the classic rules of storytelling, Lonnie has a reputation for amazing crowds around the globe with his highly original works. Among his accomplishments, he co-designed the largest Christmas display in Hong Kong’s history. He has created works for the Neiman-Marcus Corporate Collection and the Mazza Gallerie in Washington, D.C. In Denver, he created installation works throughout the Kenneth King Performing Arts Center on the Auraria Campus as well as the landmark Evolution of the Ball at Coors Field. He is excited about creating this unique work at Denver PrideFest during what he sees as a pivotal time in US history and the history of LGBT civil rights.
“After being ‘illegally’ married for 33 years, I’m anxious to have the same legal rights in my partnership as others have,” Lonnie says. “I think the next few months might be looked back on as a ‘sea change.’” Recent polls indicate that nearly 60 percent of American citizens support marriage equality. “I want to help define the imagery and memories of this time. If the Supreme Court comes back with a negative decision, I plan on turning the work into a protest.” Lonnie’s sculpture will be created through community input. He is currently in the process of setting up a Kickstarter campaign that will launch April 7. “We have to raise funds to pay for supplies, construction, and installation costs,” he explains. He’s also setting up a series of rewards for supporters who contribute to making the sculpture possible. “Cue the Donna Summer!” Lonnie jokes as he prepares for a giant cake in the park. “I want this work to be fun about a very serious subject. Campy and empowered and impassioned.”
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I want to help define the imagery and memories of this time. If the Supreme Court comes back with a negative decision, I plan on turning the work into a protest.
PrideFest 2015 is June 21 and 22.
This is the 40th year of Denver PrideFest and the organizers at The GLBT Center are already in planning mode. Last year, Denver saw a crowd of nearly 370,000 people and more than 200 vendors thanks to their efforts. Want to guarantee you’ll have the Best Pride Ever? Head over to our Facebook page to get details on how Out Front wants to host you and a lovely guest in a fabulous downtown hotel and treat you to fantastic meals, Uber transportation, and bottle service.
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Indiana
and the Byzantines
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Rick Kitzman
his year, I finished reading A Short History of Byzantium by John Julius Norwich — written between 1988 and 1995 — for the second time. Last year I finished The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon, written between 1776 and 1788. (So you don’t think I’m too snooty, I read both works in their abridged versions. I also recently read Calvin and Hobbes and Bloom County.) That I feel I must qualify what I read speaks to my perception that intellectuals are becoming — if they aren’t already — an anathema in my country. I don’t claim to be an intellectual; I just love to read. Our fabulous United States, home of astonishing intellectual advances in its brief existence is fascinatingly not unlike the Roman and Byzantine empires, and is in dire threat of sliding into chaos. I’ve no doubt the Religious Right agrees with me, but for polar opposite reasons. It reared its ugly head on March 23, when the Indiana House of Representatives joined their state’s Senate and passed a bill that would exempt individuals and companies from non-discrimination rulings by the courts based on their religious beliefs. Those religious beliefs are founded upon Christian dogma, diabolically devised by the early Catholic Church more than a thousand years ago. This Roman and Byzantine history affects the politics of today in terrifying ways. What the Religious Right holds as gospel truth is based on an ocean of blood and an org chart of political machinations that make Francis and Claire Underwood look like George and Martha Washington. If you think I’m being overly dramatic, consider this: On February 26, 2015, the “Sodomite Suppression Act,” submitted by Orange County attorney Matt McLaughlin, appeared on the desk of the California Attorney General. Homosexuals would be executed by “bullets to the head or by any other convenient method.” Out of bullets? Rocks will do. After all, that’s what the Bible uses many times to execute the out-of-line and keep others in line. If you think this bill would never find support in this country, well then, yes indeedy, pretty pink pigs can fly. Is the Indiana bill any less wacky or sickening? Indiana Republican Governor Mike Pence has indicated he will sign the bill. Three words, Governor Pence: Colorado Amendment 2. In 1992, Colorado voters approved an addition to our state’s constitution that prevented protected status based upon homosexuality or bisexuality. The United States Supreme Court heard the landmark case, Romer v. Evans, in 1996 and ruled that the law did not satisfy the Equal Protection Clause, part of Amendment 14 to the United States Constitution passed in 1868. I have a picture of me wearing a T-shirt: “ColoraDON’T.” An international boycott lost the state millions of dollars in cancelled and future business projects and for our crucial tourism industry. We had to wear an embarrassing stain on our state’s heritage. (Filmmakers of Stephen King’s The Stand were to use Boulder for authenticity as the site of the good guys, but moved to California. It’s my favorite King novel, and I truly was very disappointed and saddened. See, I also read pulp.) The Court’s ruling on Romer v. Evans passed 6–3. The dissenting justices in 1996? Scalia, Rehnquist, Thomas. OMG! Die already! Twenty years later(!), I’ve no doubt they will be dissenting yet again when the Court hears arguments for same-sex marriage. Potential boycotts of Indiana have been announced by Yelp, GenCon, Salesforce, the City of San Francisco, Eli Lilly and Company, the NCAA, Disciples of Christ (they’re not all bad), and Miley Cyrus. (Atta girl! Show your big girl panties; just remember to wear them.) The Indiana legislature and Senate can cloak their bill as “religious liberty” all it wants. Bigotry is still bigotry. Hypocrisy is still hypocrisy. Follow the timeline: Religious freedom in the United States in the 1500s, Moral Majority in 1980, AIDS plague, Colorado Amendment 2, “Sodomite Suppression Act,” Indiana bill on discriminating gays — it all leads back to early Christianity during the Roman and Byzantine Empires. And it all leads up to Election 2016. I could curl up with my two Opus plush toys (true story), pull the covers over my eyes, and read comic books. I prefer to believe the next presidential election will be the Religious Right’s losing last stand, hopefully not as apocryphal as Stephen King’s, but no less prophetic for future generations. Know history. It’s a powerful tool, and we’ll need powerful tools in the months to come. With apologies to Bette Davis purists and screenwriter Joseph L. Mankiewicz — fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy twenty months.
Outfrontonline .com | 13
“ Fever
Log Cabin Scott McGlothlen*
S
ecretly, I’ve always had a lifelong dream of owning a boat. But after doing this year’s taxes, I discovered my return would be less than ever before, once again crushing my dream. Meanwhile, my sister and her family of four, who live at the poverty level, got back a whopper of a check back from the IRS … plenty of money for a boat down payment. I didn’t understand it. Sure, I make a decent living. But I work really hard, pay into the system, and get little back for it. Therefore, I have come to blame my not owning a boat on our nation’s fiscal irresponsibility. I shouldn’t have to live some pathetic, non-boat-owning lifestyle simply because other people choose to live in poverty. Thus, I decided to become a Republican. Luckily there was a special political group for fiscally conservative LGBT persons like me: the Log Cabin Republicans. Sure I’ll be voting along party lines that would have a severe, negative impact on my rights as a human being, but it’s not such a big deal since I’ll now be able to influence my fellow conservatives on LGBT issues from within our own party. (Let’s be 14 | april 1, 2015
honest: We all know conservatives are totally flexible when it comes to social issues.) And even though it may prevent other LGBT people from having rights, like being able to marry, it’ll still be worth it to get my damn boat. Of course I can’t let poor people take all the blame for the lack of unnecessarily excessive extravagance in my life — there are also the Mexicans. Yes, their illegal statuses do help our major corporations exploit them for cheap labor, which in turn helps America keep lower prices on our precious heads of lettuce, but the lady Mexicans obviously just want to come have babies to further mooch off our already too generous system. This may sound a little racist, but it isn’t. When I talk about this stuff, I start every sentence with the phrase “I’m not a racist, but …” Therefore, I’m absolutely absolved of any racism when it comes to immigration issues. Truthfully, I don’t even understand why our sombrero dancing brothers and sisters to the
We need to take money out of education and put it into defense. It might make our country dumber, but when has a dumb person with guns ever hurt an innocent?
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south don’t just stay put. Clearly capitalism worked out wonderfully for their country — that’s why we all want to vacation there. Anyway, just like us gays, they should sacrifice their hope for a better life so that I can have a little more change in my pocket. Then there’s our nation’s youth. What a bunch of freeloaders! If they want a good education, then little Bobby and Cindy need to stop draining our system and go get jobs to pay for it themselves (perhaps they can be the ones to work on our precious heads of lettuce). If anything, we need to take more money out of education and put it into our national defense. Okay, so it might make our country a little bit dumber than others, but we’ll be dumb with lots of guns. And since when did a dumb person with access to guns ever hurt anyone innocent? By all means, I’ve come down with a case of Log Cabin Fever and it’s going to be a sweet life. Well … so long I don’t lose my job or endure any other unforeseeable acts of hardship. (But that won’t happen to me because, once again, poverty is a choice.) As for my sister, she ended up buying her kids a used, outdated video game system for the families’ entertainment. Okay fine, she spent most of their big, fat government pay out to get food and clothing for the kids, but that last purchase was totally impractical. Granted, my life is still much auspicious as hers, but I still remain boatless. What a bitch! * This is April Fool’s satire, of course. SUV Lexus GX 460
zbo’ following e ‘K r e h d n a , y bars ed anthem, ga ir sp n -i ty li a u q ew e lks about her n ta n so rk rdi la C y ll Ke Chris Azzopa Outfrontonline .com | 15
B
efore catapulting to pop stardom, Kelly Clarkson was one of us. In many ways, she still is. The original American Idol, who memorably erupted into waterworks when she won the first season of the reality show in 2002, wasn’t always able to muster the willpower she’s instilled in the gay community through her uncompromising persona and liberating pop anthems, including those on her latest album, Piece by Piece. That’s just the charm of Clarkson, who opens up in our new interview about overcoming teen inferiorities, diehard lesbian fans who call themselves “Kezbos,” and that night she sipped some wine, felt “sad” for our generation, and wrote a powerful song about it. Ok, Kelly, take my hand. I wanna go back with you. The imagery! Tell me the moment in your career you first knew gay people worshipped at your altar. *laughs* Oh my god, that’s amazing. It was the Breakaway World Tour in 2005 and it was so awesome. One girl on tour came up and just introduced herself and was like, “I’m a Kezbo,” and I was like, “What?!” She was like, “A Kezbo — your lesbian fans.” And I was like, “There’s enough of you to have a group? That’s amazing! Awesome!” And she was like, “We love you. We’re gonna bring you to the other side.” And I was like, “Allright, well keep trying!” Then, on the same tour, I had this guy, and he was so funny. I’m a huge fan of Bette Midler and he’s like,
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“You’re our new Bette!” I was like, “I’m not that cool, but I will work on gaining the respect of that compliment.” Is it hard to fathom yourself a gay icon? I don’t consider myself an icon at all, but I have a lot of gay and lesbian friends who like my stuff, so I guess it’s not so hard for me to think [the gay community] might like my music. But I don’t know ... I’m not an icon — I’ve only been doing this for 13 years. You’ve gotta be doing it for a good 20 to gain that status. When it comes to your strong bond with the gay community, how do you explain that connection? I don’t ever look at a fan as a gay fan or a lesbian fan or a straight fan. Fans are fans, no matter what path we’re on — music is the one thing that connects us. I had so much fun at this [London] club recently. It’s called G-A-Y and everybody knew all the words to every song. Even the new one! And they were gay and straight and lesbian — everybody was there. It didn’t matter, and it was just really cool. What was your very first time at a gay bar like? That would’ve been in LA, and I was probably 22. I went with a couple of my gay friends, and they were like, “You’re gonna love this! But you’re gonna need to wear a hat.” They played Since U Been Gone and it was so funny because nobody knew I was there. I had a blast! The awesome thing is that because most of the gay bars I’ve been to are all gay men, I don’t get hit on the whole time. I don’t get people grabbing me or, like, being
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I don’t ever look at a fan as a gay fan or a lesbian fan or a straight fan. Fans are fans, no matter what path we’re on — music is the one thing that connects us.
”
gross. There’s no judgment, and it’s just fun. You’re not worried about going, “No, thank you, I can buy my own drinks.” The song Invincible alludes to overcoming selfdoubts and insecurities. In your own life, when did you most experience those hurdles, and when did you finally accept yourself for who you are? In high school, I was having a hard time. I guess all people go through it; it’s just a different time period for all of us. When I was a sophomore in high school, it was the one time [in my life] I felt insecure. It was just an awkward stage for me.
In my sophomore year of high school, I got a little insecure about [my personality], because girls can be mean. I got the lead in this role in choir, and no sophomore was ever supposed to get it, so people were just really mean about it. Like mean. It made me insecure, and not so much [in regard to] my music or as a singer or an artist — just me as a person. I was like, “Is there something wrong with me?” I would go, “But I think I’m a good friend.” That was the only time that I was really doubtful of my person. But I got over that real quick! Growing up in small-town Texas, when did you get your first taste of gay culture? Did you even know gay people then? A couple friends of mine just recently came out to their parents and [one of them experienced just] about the most horrible situation ever. That still happens, unfortunately. But when I was a kid, I had a couple of my friends in choir with me. I think everybody knew (they were gay), but it wasn’t talked about or anything. Honestly, I grew up in such a creative environment. Even in our choral group — even with my friends — nobody talked about it it, for or against. I feel like I grew up in a really incredibly good bubble. I never experienced people hating — no hate crimes or anything like that — until well into the industry. With Idol, people would say hateful things about certain contestants on the show, and I was like, “What in the world?!” I, fortunately, grew up in a world where that wasn’t a huge issue. But you were raised Southern Baptist, a denomination that condemns homosexuality. What was the journey like to get to where you are now as a staunch supporter of gay marriage? At my church, whenever I did attend Sunday service, that was never talked about. I know that is what the doctrine of Southern Baptism is, but they also said don’t drink and dance, but we drank and danced! I don’t think I grew up in some hardcore community where people were like that. I grew up in a very accepting household. I was taught to accept everybody how they are, and I admire my mom for that. She never taught me hate. I gotta ask about your baby girl, River Rose. Because she’s magical. She’s a magical unicorn. You know, in some circles, the unicorn is a gay symbol. Oh, I didn’t know that! But I love it. That’s what I call my baby! Speaking of which, how might you and your hubby handle it if River turned out to be lesbian? Oh, I don’t care. I mean, here’s what I hope for her: I hope she finds love. It took me a while, man, and there was a lot of heartache throughout those years. As long as she’s happy, I don’t care either way, and neither does my husband. Why was it important for you to include a gay couple getting engaged in the “Heartbeat Song” video? What’s funny is, I wasn’t even the one who picked all the people! The director and his team did. It’s funny, I was doing an interview in Nashville at one of the radio stations and one of the DJs there was like, “I’m gonna be in your video tomorrow!” And I was like, “Whaaaat?” And he was like, “Yeah! I asked if I could bring my boyfriend and they said yes.” We had no idea his boyfriend was gonna propose to him on the set! At first he thought it was part of the video. He didn’t get it at first, and that’s why he was like, “Are you for real? I don’t get it.” It was the coolest thing that ended up happening, but none of that was planned; it just happened, and it was a beautiful thing. And it’s sending an important message, don’t you think? I think it’s silly that we’re still talking about gay rights. I just live in this world where people are accepted, so it’s very hard for me to even realize that that still exists. It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around it. That [gay couple] was a nobrainer, and I didn’t even think, “Oh, I’m making a statement for gay rights.” I was making a statement for the loss of love and the hope that you can still find it, regardless of what form that comes in. It wasn’t a purposeful thing. Love is love in whatever relationship it may be in.
Do good in your neighborhood! Dine out at one of 250+ participating restaurants for breakfast, lunch or dinner on Thursday, April 30, and 25% of your food bill will benefit Project Angel Heart.
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DININGOUTFORLIFE.COM/DENVER Outfrontonline .com | 17
Someone Leave 52 Tuesdays Gary M. Kramer
a Cake Out?
52 Tuesdays is an absorbing Australian drama about Billie (Tilda Cobham-Hervey) who learns that her mother Jane (Del Herbert-Jane), whom she has always been very close to, is transitioning into James. Moving in with her dad Tom (Beau Travis Williams), Billie makes a promise to visit James every Tuesday. Their weekly meetings are contrasted with Billie meeting up with two classmates, Jasmine (Imogen Archer) and Josh (Sam Althuizen), whom she films and experiments with sexually in an effort to forge her own identity. Viewers will care about Billie and James as well, in part because Cobham-Hervey and HerbertJane give such emotionally honest performances. 52 Tuesdays is very much about the need to live an authentic life and director Sophie Hyde captures this with acuity. We spoke via Skype about her fine film. You make some very savvy points about gender and sexuality and identity. What can you say about your goal in making this film? The paralleling of the stories and ideas of gender are big questions for me. Gender is a perfect word for it. People ask if I made a transgender film. The character is transgender, but it’s about gender. We have constructed a very binary idea of gender and the way we enforce it everyday is problematic and unsatisfying — not just by people who reject or don’t conform to gender or are transgender, but for all of us. Why did you choose to employ this dual narrative approach of a teenager coming of age, contrasted with a transitioning adult coming of age? When we started making the film, we were exploring them equally. As we started to make it, we created these rules — we could only shoot on Tuesdays and in chronological order — and that connected to the story. We started to realize that without the access of the rest of James’ life, we couldn’t go into his point of view. Not to sound Freudian, but what was your relationship with your mother like? *laughs* You should maybe ask me about my 18 | april 1, 2015
relationship with my father. I have personal connections with the film. I don’t have a transgender parent, but my dad was openly gay when I was little. It was important that he was out and open with us. It was a great privilege to know my dad as a whole person — being gay was part of who he was, and it was acknowledged all the time; it wasn’t hidden away or separate from him being my dad. We all meet our parents as people in some point in our lives. Billie does it when she’s 16, but some don’t do it until they’re older. The character of Billie is in many ways a proxy for the audience. Was that deliberate? I think it’s very much her experience of this year. You do learn about what James is going through through Billie. But it’s also about what Billie is going through. I don’t think of her as a proxy. Some viewers have a hard time that she doesn’t [reject] him. She had more a problem not being able to see James or live with him. We wanted to veer away from a medical explanation of being trans — e.g., this is the exact physical change. James sets up this promise of how much he will change and we went into how it feels and looks. He starts recording himself, but that falls by the wayside. You see incremental changes. Are the characters different from before? Yes, and no.
The characters talk about leading an authentic life. How authentic was the portrayal by Del who played Jane/James? Del identifies as gender non-conforming. Del is different from James, but they share something similar about not always being seen or feeling as you are seen. Del is not going through the same thing [as James]; we’re not revealing his transition. We started working with Del by talking about different experiences of gender, and it was a natural progression from Del being a consultant to playing the role. He’s not a transman, and we didn’t want to fake things, but his experiences had an impact on the film. What research did you do in the trans community? The great thing is that there is so much stuff online — blogs, videos, etc. and that they are so personal and different. We worked with a psychologist in Melbourne who does identity stuff. We read Original Plumbing, a US-based trans magazine that was a great resource. We did a broad look at different kinds of gender even though we were honing it down to show one character’s journey of [becoming] a transman. We wanted to understand the whole context, so we read a lot.
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stand up for equal rights. My children have grown up in a home where equality is a core value, and I want to be an ally who you can trust to stand up for the LGBT community. On the issue of rights, I do think Denver has taken many steps in the right direction to promote progressive policies. We need to do more to stand up for the underserved in our city and I think continued focus and transparency around public safety will be critical in doing that. What is your vision for District 10 and Denver? My vision for District 10 and Denver is one of a city of increased connectivity with meaningful multi-modal options that lead to improved health, public safety, and a vivacious economy. The more we can spur people to get out in the street and moving around our city, the more it will benefit business owners from Cherry Creek to Colfax to Uptown to the Golden Triangle. District 10 is Central Denver and our health and vitality is a strong reflection of how the city is doing as a whole — it’s critical we make the right investments and drive smart growth to ensure the future of our city!
Meet anna jones!
Anna Jones is considered to be one of the favorites to take over for Jeanne Robb for City Council District 10. Anna is a community development professional and a Denver native who’s lived in Congress Park for more than twenty years. Anna agreed to sit down and talk with us about her background and campaign.
Anna, tell us why you’re running for City Council. First, congratulations to Out Front on your 39th Anniversary issue and thank you for including me! I’m running for City Council because I’m passionate about keeping Denver a great place to live and play. I have the right experience and skill set for this job. We’re experiencing tremendous growth in the city and I want to take my experience on projects like the Main Street Colfax initiative and Denver Union Station and use it to help address issues like affordable housing, congestion, and parking. I also want to focus on quality of life issues, like additional funding for public health services and multi-modal transit options. What work have you done in the past with or for the LGBT community? I’ve been an ally in my personal life and I have worked for candidates and causes that support LGBT equality. I’m proud of the progress made on marriage, but this fight doesn’t end with a slip of paper. 20 | april 1, 2015
How will you work on the behalf of the LGBT community on city council? I applauded Denver Clerk and Recorder [Debra Johnson] when she moved to issue marriage certificates to same sex couples and as councilwoman I will always
Denver is becoming increasingly expensive and the cost of living continues to go up. What will you do on council to address the affordable housing crisis? This is the most rapid growth Denver has ever seen, and we must generate creative solutions to deal with all the demands that come with it. One of the great benefits of the influx of young and creative residents is that the number of cool and healthy neighborhoods to live in is skyrocketing and the opportunity to create meaningful, well-placed density that will drive transit investments is ripe. This is a complicated issue with myriad answers but my philosophy around it is simple: We need to drive density to areas that can support it with major arterial streets. Those investments will generate more multimodal transit options that will improve the quality of life in Denver. The effects of homelessness are a major concern shared by many District 10 and Denver residents. What do you plan to do to address this issue and what specifically will you do to help serve the queer and transgender youth homeless population that’s estimated to account for 40 percent of all youth homeless population? Homelessness is a major issue in Denver and District 10 residents are some of the most impacted in the city when it comes to the unintended consequences of some of our policies like the camping ban. As councilwoman, I will work hard to make sure Denver is pursuing comprehensive policy and not just moving to push people out of the light. This problem demands solutions that deal with the cause and not the symptoms. Regarding working with queer and trans homeless youth I would like to convene an LGBT summit in 2015 or 2016 to do more to focus on their issues and incorporate nonprofits, businesses, and LGBT youth themselves. There is positive momentum in creating more resources and services for these kids. Our city is defined in part by how we treat our most vulnerable populations, and we need to hold ourselves to a high standard.
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I will always stand up for equal rights. My children have grown up in a home where equality is a core value, and I want to be an ally who you can trust to stand up for the LGBT community
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Safety is an important issue for all Denverites — especially for those of us in the LGBT community. What policies will you support on the council to improve safety? Many people don’t realize that public safety is the #1 expenditure on the Denver city budget. That is a reflection of just how critical safety is to how we function as a society. As councilwoman, I will be devoted to ensuring those dollars are being spent as efficiently and effectively as possible. I applaud the recent vote of the council to expand the powers of the Office of the Independent Monitor, and I generally support any policy that enhances transparency and builds trust with the public. I think education for officers around LGBT issues is critical and I would promote more public meetings and forums to enhance the connection between rank-and-file officers and all communities in our city including that of our LGBT citizens. Sponsored Content Outfrontonline .com | 21
outfront CALENDAR Now thru September 7 Mythic Creatures: Dragons, Unicorns, & Mermaids
You’ll feel like a kid again, running (but no touching!) through the fantasy lands of Denver’s Museum of Nature and Science with the animals of your dreams. If your “childlike wonderment” doesn’t crack wide open, at the very least you can pretend you’re Khaleesi wrangling your dragons on the way to reigning the Seven Kingdoms. They’re waiting for you…
April 5 Ratatat with Despot
This New York duo brings their atmospheric sound to Denver, with their infectious energy and catchy rhythms in tow. Their music draws inspiration from everything from disco to hiphop, making the perfect soundtrack for all your best get-togethers. Don’t miss hanging out with them at the Ogden! Doors open at 8pm.
Fillmore April 8 Brand New
Though staying true to their angstridden roots, these guys are anything but predictable. (This isn’t the same band you used to cry to while painting your fingernails black.) Brand New’s been crafting their sound since the early 2000s and have matured into a pop-punk outfit that’s loud, powerful, and kinda sexy. Doors open at 6pm.
You could see any band at Red Rocks Amphitheatre and have a fan-f*ckingtastic time, and we’re just lucky enough to have Soja and Nas taking the Rocks to the next level! Roll out the welcome wagon for summer and enjoy a night of hot beats and cool reggae at the best venue in the world. For realzies. Tickets at AXS.com.
April 10, 9pm Out Front’s Bday Party @ Vie Luxe Nightclub
Martinis, models, and mischief. That’s what Out Front’s bringing to one of the hottest nightclubs in Denver for our 39th birthday bash. The party will kick off a monthly event we’re throwing for everyone who wants to come out and let their hair down with the staff and readership. You in for the Round One? See you there.
April 6 Gothic Kiesza
Immediately go to YouTube and find Kiesza’s “Hideaway” music video. She sings like a bird, she’s got killer dance moves, and she wears the hell out of some suspenders. Her music’s fun, cheeky, and made for a night out in the city. Tickets available at AXS.com.
Dining Out For Life Save the date to dine out with Project Angel Heart for breakfast, lunch, or dinner as more than 250 Denver- and Boulder-area restaurants contribute 25 percent of their food sales to benefit the nonprofit’s home-delivered meal program.
Thursday April 30th DiningOutForLife.com/Denver 22 | april 1, 2015
Red Rocks, April 18 Soja and Nas
April 18 thru 20 High Times Cannabis Cup
Experience three whole days of your favorite plant in your favorite city, brought to you by the world’s leading MJ publication, High Times. The event includes all kinds of good stuffs: music, workshops, vendors, and speakers that know their shiz. Have fun and learn something! Don’t miss the piece de resistance, THE actual Cannabis Cup, a competition between medical and recreational strains, to crown a winner! Check out CannabisCup.com/Denver for more details.
April 16-18 & 23-25
April 20 420 Y’all
It’s Christmas for Coloradans! Celebrate this special day all over the Denver area, but don’t miss Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom’s annual 420 In the Streets, featuring Method Man and Redman. This party starts at 1pm and goes til 11pm — but wherever you are, when the clock hits 4:20, you know what to do.
Middletown
Will Eno’s Middletown weaves through both the beauty and tragedy of existence with equal parts humor and tenderness. In this rendition directed by Scott Lubinski, look forward to the play’s signature rebellious style about life in a small town. Brought to you by Denver’s own MSU, support local actors by checking out this witty and poignant work. Tickets available at MSUDenver.edu or the King Center Theatre Box Office.
April 4 and on! Sinful Saturdays
Behold the return of one of Denver’s best LGBT parties every first Saturday of the month! Hosted by the infamous Roxy Theatre, this event is for anyone and everyone looking to not only have a great time, but to connect with the community in a fun and fabulous space. Look out for GoGo dancers and sets by our beautiful (not to mention, supe- talented) friend, DJ Tatiana. Make friends and get your dance on. The party starts at 9pm, 18+.
April 3 & 4, 7:15 and 9:45 April 17 Denver Flea Market
Welcome to the Denver Flea Kick Off Party! Reserve your ticket today to enjoy the first night of flea season by meeting and shopping with all the vendors, gettin’ down on some live music, and the chance at most excellent giveaways. Tickets also include bottomless dranks. More info available at DenverFlea.com.
April 11 Art+Feminism Wikipedia Edit-A-Thon
If you’ve ever spent hours clicking through Wikipedia’s endless information (where are you, Kevin Bacon?!), take the chance to give back and make this free site even better. Less than 13 percent of contributors identify as female, so we need to step it up, ladies! MCA Denver hosts this edit-a-thon, geared towards improving entries on your favorite women in history, feminist topics, and current cultural happenings. RSVP with TitWrench@gmail.com.
Whitney Cummings
What can we say? This lady is funny. She’s toured with some of the best comedians working today and holds her own with fiery insights and fearlessness. She talks real talk about relationships, love, and the beauty of faking the perfect orgasm — you might even pick up a couple tips, ladies! Get your tickets at ComedyWorks.com.
April 7- May 9 Colby Brumit’s Snapshots Opening Reception
Former Out Front art director and future artworld beast Colby Brumit is unveiling what he’s been working so hard on since he left. With the promise of “exploring the topography of the familiar & fabulous,” you can guarantee it’s going to be good. (Colby’s like a living, breathing Wikipedia page of hilarious and obscure pop culture references.) Join the Out Front team as we have our minds blown at what The Man Himself has been up to @Michael Warren Contemporary.
A Man of No Importance • April 28 – May 17, 2015
It’s 1964 in a working-class neighborhood of Dublin. An Oscar Wilde devotee, Alfie Byrne has ambitions to perform Wilde’s Salome with his amateur theater troupe in the local church. However, Alfie doesn’t realize the controversy his choice of title will create with the church leaders. With the play opening in jeopardy, Alfie turns to someone he thought was a friend, only to be confronted by anger and rejection. The theater troupe stands beside him and helps Alfie find his place in the world.
Main Stage Theater Box Office: 720-898-7200 arvadacenter.org Outfrontonline .com | 23
Jokers, Jewels & Justice Jokers, Jewels & Justice, The GLBT Community Center of Colorado’s annual fundraiser for their Legal and Advocacy Program, was held on March 12th at the Denver Athletic Club. This year’s event honored John McHugh from Reilly Pozner LLP as the 2015 Barrister of the Year. The Center also honored the five legal teams who represented plaintiffs in recent Colorado marriage equality challenges (Reilly Pozner LLP, Killmer, Lane & Newman, LLP, Gutterman Griffiths PC, Wilcox & Ogden, P.C. and Law of the Rockies.)
Photo by Charles Broshous
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Chris Arneson
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Tree-lined, cozy, and quiet streets make the neighborhood a great place to settle a family.
D
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irectly south of Colfax between York and Colorado Boulevard lies Congress Park. Springing up in the late 1800s, the area was originally home to Mount Prospect Cemetery. Because of air pollution, wealthy residents began moving toward the outskirts of town, expanding into what they called Capitol Heights, now Congress Park. Tree-lined, cozy, and quiet streets make the neighborhood a great place to settle a family. If you’re looking to buy in the neighborhood, a house with 2–3 bedrooms is around $500k, but larger ones can surpass $1 million. Currently, a standard onebedroom apartment is right around a thousand per month, but you can still find studios for a couple hundred less. The demographic is mostly white, but the population is quickly diversifying. The crime rate has even decreased in the past year. The neighborhood includes an elementary school, several churches, and National Jewish Health. You’re also not too far from Rose Medical Center. Just to the south is a plethora of shopping in Cherry Creek. Denver’s Botanic Gardens borders the neighborhood to the west alongside Cheesman Park,
CONGRESS PARK IS IN SESSION and City Park is just a few blocks north of Colfax. In the heart of the neighborhood is its namesake, Congress Park. Featuring one of the best public pools in Denver, the park also houses a soccer field, a baseball field, and several tennis courts. For a bite to eat, popular breakfast spots are Denver Biscuit Company, Annie’s, and Snooze, which borders the outskirts. At lunch, check out Uber Sausage or Tommy’s Thai. Dinner is better when you venture deeper into the neighborhood, like TAG Burger Bar or Shells and Sauce. After a night out, grab cheap tacos at Mezcal or a slice of Fat Sully’s pizza, which is open until at least 2am. Planning to make dinner? Grab groceries at Sprouts, Trader Joe’s, or the quirky 12th Ave Market, which is right next door to a handy Ace Hardware. The bar scene boasts an enviable drinking culture within a couple blocks’ radius. The Atomic Cowboy is big and hip with a pool table, and Goosetown Tavern is always bustling with trendy folks. For a retro vibe, the P.S. Lounge is a dive bar that feels like it hasn’t been touched in decades. Visit them for a free house shot (and a flower, if you’re pretty). Congress Park is home to the Bluebird Theater, where you can usually catch an indie band everyone but you knows. For a quieter night, just down the street is the Tattered Cover bookstore and Twist and Shout Records. For a quick escape downtown, the bus runs on 8th and 12th Aves as well as Colfax. The trek is around 15 mins by car and less than 30 by bike. Make sure to hop on the bike line on 12th Ave, which takes you through Cheesman Park. Average monthly rent for a 2/2 place: ~$2300 SUV Lexus GX 460
26 | april 1, 2015
Chris Arneson
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Livin’ the High Life
The residential neighborhood is a quirky mix of homes, both classic and extremely modern.
T
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he Highlands are bordered by Federal and the South Platte River, rounded out by Speer and 38th. The residential neighborhood is a quirky mix of classic homes mixed with some extremely modern ones. Living in the Highlands ain’t cheap. The median home price is around $500k for a couple bedrooms, but that’ll get you a brand-new, contemporary townhome in LoHi. If you’re renting, expect $1.5k for a smaller single-bedroom unit. Mostly a white-collar demographic, a majority of the residents there are non-families in their 30s. The crime rate is a little above the national average, mostly due to burglaries. The neighborhood’s two biggest parks are Highland Park and Viking Park, with plenty of big grassy areas. If you’re looking for an awesome view of downtown, check out Jefferson Park. Highlands Square is the heart of the West Highlands, offering several blocks of boutique shops as well as a ton of neighborhood events. The 32nd Avenue Farmer’s Market runs from June through September every Sunday morning. This year on Saturday, June 20, is the neighborhood’s biggest party, the Highlands Street Fair, featuring several blocks of
If you’re into brunch, you’ve probably been to Denver’s Highlands vendors and live music. There’s also a Harvest Festival at the end of October. In a breeding ground for Italian and Hispanic culture, you’ll find some of Denver’s first restaurants. For traditional Mexican fare, try Los Carboncitos or Patzcuaro’s. Patsy’s has been around since 1920, and it offers charming, old-world Italian cuisine. A few blocks away is Gaetano’s, which is an old mob hangout. Converted restaurants seem to be a niche for the Highlands. Linger is a former mortuary, and Root Down used to be a filling station. If you can’t get into brunch at either (be prepared to wait), The Universal is a great alternative. For dinner, the recently remodeled Highland Tavern is a gem. You have to try their tavern tots or the Bombshell — a Reuben with an egg on it. Highland Tap and Burger also has a brilliant burger selection. If you want a more unique night out, check out Forest Room 5 for a breathtaking outdoor space. Williams and Graham is also a must, featuring a speakeasy-style atmosphere. The Bug Theatre is one of the best entertainment , spots in the hood … if not the city. With campy stage productions based on cult movies, not to mention hilarious variety shows, the former movie house is a laid-back space making you feel like you’re on the edgier side of theatrics. Biking downtown is super easy, especially if you hop on the Cherry Creek Trail via Confluence Park. Speer Boulevard can also get you there in minutes. But this is one neighborhood you probably won’t need to escape too often. Average monthly rent for a 2/2 place: ~$2300
SUV Lexus GX 460 Outfrontonline .com | 27
“
Uptown is a great place to spend your younger years, but not necessarily an ideal spot for a growing family. The traffic is fairly heavy, and the streets are tight.
”
A
lso known as North Capitol Hill, Denver’s oldest residential neighborhood is nestled on the edge of downtown between Broadway and Park Ave., just north of Colfax. There’s a nice balance of old houses and new apartments, but many of the houses are occupied by businesses. Some sections feel sketch, but the neighborhood has developed greatly over the past decade, replacing many empty lots with new construction. Uptown is a great place to spend your younger years, but not necessarily an ideal spot for a growing family. The traffic is fairly heavy, and the streets are tight. Crime rates are higher than the national average, and car break-ins and bike thefts tend to occur often. The demographic is too diverse to define. For anything larger than a studio, you’re looking at monthly rent close to $2k, and most places don’t include parking. Buying any size apartment or condo can be anywhere from $200500k, but in this neighborhood, you’re probably getting a quality space. Restaurant row runs through Uptown on , featuring too many to name. Some favorites include Steuben’s modern comfort food, Ace Eat Serve’s
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Up
Chris Arneson
town, Girl
Uptown is where you go when you can almost afford a place downtown, but you’re not exactly into what Cap Hill offers Asian fusion with bonus ping-pong tables, burgers at Park & Co, Tony P’s pizza, and everything at Hamburger Mary’s. There’s even a vegetarian option at Watercourse. The patio at Tavern Uptown is a favorite brunch spot. A few blocks north on 19th has an almostNYC feel, with corners featuring a coffee shop and pizzeria surrounded by the vast Uptown Square apartments. A little more north and you’ll discover the delightfully divey Horseshoe Lounge, right next door to The Centennial Tavern (formerly Jonesy’s EatBar). I really don’t need to tell you Uptown features most of Denver’s gay bars — Hamburger Mary’s, The Wrangler, and X Bar, with Charlie’s nearby. Check out Mary’s for a huge patio, bingo, karaoke, and drag shows. The Wrangler is home to a large beer bust on Sundays, but it’s usually quieter on weeknights. X Bar also has a better vibe on weekends with an expanded upstairs (great for a less intense atmosphere), but their weeknights have great drink specials. Charlie’s hosts line-dancing with classes on several nights of the week with a newly remodeled separate space for club music. Other nightlife includes The 1up arcade bar and the ever-hipster Sancho’s Broken Arrow, as well as concerts at the Fillmore and Ogden theaters, which usually bring in bigger names in music. These spots are all neighbors on Colfax. The neighborhood is just blocks from downtown Denver, making it a great spot to live in the center of the city’s culture — especially if you’re a foodie.
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Berlin Sylvestre
NORTHEAST
Denver’s in the (Affordable) House
W
hen I moved here in May, I stayed at a buddy’s place while I hunted down the best spot for my needs. Basically, I needed to avoid paying a million bucks a month to live in a mildewed matchbox. Should be simple, right? Pff. After perusing beautiful, hip neighborhoods full of admittedly broke young people, I decided to do what I’d done in all my years in Atlanta ... I headed to the ‘burbs. I checked out places in Arvada, Westminster, and a few others, but the traffic I’d face getting to work was a major “yeah, no” for me. Then a spot opened up in the “Green Valley Ranch area” and Lorde have mercy did the price fit the bill. I observed the traffic from out that way one
morning, went to check the place out, and signed as fast as I could. Since then, I’ve never once regretted — nor felt embarrassed telling people — that I live in the GVR area. (It’s important to note that I don’t live in GVR proper.) The traffic in the morning is so chill. I take 56th all the way to work, which opens up to big, expansive lanes that mean you can pass any slowpokes, should there be any. The winds that blow in the open fields mean I can open the windows for a constant breeze that stops me from messing with my A/C in the summer. I can see the mountains from my porch and the sunrise/sunsets are killer. Because it’s not densely populated, going for walks is quiet and uninterrupted. If I need anything, from the new Sims game to spring greens, I drive five minutes up the road and hit one of the shopping centers. I have plenty of parking for friends to come over for dinner parties and plenty of space to entertain them in. I haven’t heard any of my neighbors complain of crime (although I have heard of some pretty crappy graffiti artists hitting fences in GVR). The library and rec center a mile down the road are both exceptionally easy to access and feature a really cool staff that seem to actually enjoy being there,
and the dog parks are full of peeps who’ve got the latest on what’s going on around the ‘hood. But regardless, it’s still: “So you live way out in West Kansas, then?” Very funny, guys. Thing is, I happen to really dig the ‘burbs, which is (according to at least two wisecrackin’ buddies I’ve made since I moved to Denver) “actually kinda lame.” Sure, yeah. But real talk? I don’t mind the newly built 2 bedroom, 2 full bathroom condo with 1200 square feet, attached garage, loft, vaulted ceilings, fireplace, skylights, completely unobstructed mountain view, quiet neighborhood, laundry room, pool, gym, dog-friendly atmosphere, and convenient proximity to all the (liquor and grocery) shopping I need in a neighborhood that’s still Denver proper on my snail-mail and only 20 minutes from work … all (for less) than $1100 a month. But I’m kinda lame like that, though. Neighborhood bonus! There’s a really active Facebook group (Green Valley Ranch LGBTA+Allies) that organizes sit-downs with city council candidates, potlucks, kite-flying contests, and meetups at the neighborhood Beer Garden. Average monthly rent for a 2/2 house: $1150
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Gaypleton (Fine. Stapleton.)
Y
ou won’t get far in the “Where should I look for homes?” conversation with a gay Denverite before: “Stapleton, honey. Stapleton.” Ride around a few blocks within view of the old air control tower and it’s apparent why. The houses are “to die.” Colorful, well-kept, and fit for realty size-queens, the rows of balcony-laden beauties with their nicely-manicured, postage-stamp lawns and this-century stylings scream hip, sexy, and urban burbs. They also scream, “You’re gonna need some roommates.”
Why it’s cool:
Northfield shopping! Plenty of green spaces make for sports, gardening, urban farming, community events, and gathering. Dick’s Sporting Goods Park means concerts and events are in your backyard. Rocky Mountain Arsenal Wildlife Reserve equals elk, raccoons, raptors, prairie dogs, and much more wildlife to talk to when you’re out on a walk. East 19th Ave Town Center is an awesome place to grab a coffee and hit some shops in an outdoor mall. The Sam Gary Branch Library is a great place to chill when you want some shhh time to ponder your next read. The Central Park Recreational Center offers yoga, zumba, and just about any kind of classes if lifting weights and/or swimming just isn’t your thing. The dog park is always a great place to go, even if you don’t have a dog. It’s basically free therapy to snuggle some pooches in this amazing weather. Bonus! Stapleton will be home to Denver’s third-largest park and the (almost-there) rail line will take you from the house to DIA or downtown. Average monthly rent for a 2/2 house: $2100
O t h er averages around denver Cherry Creek (O’Brian) Average monthly rent for a 2/2 house: ~$2400
Highlands (Chris) Average monthly rent for a 2/2 house: ~$2400
River North (Michael) Average monthly rent for a 2/2 house: ~$2000
Whittier (Michael) Average monthly rent for a 2/2 house: ~$2100
Outfrontonline .com | 31
The Power
of the
RiNo Michael Frazier
Marked by Mike Whiting’s geometric blue rhino at the intersection of 24th and Larimer, the nebulously shaped RiNo District (River North) is a spectacle of gentrification Since early 2006, RiNo has become known for its prestigiously professional art galleries as well as its brilliantly scheduled “Third Thursday Art Walk” promenades of Denver’s most well-respected creatives and critics. If Santa Fe’s art walk is a breezy summer beer stroll, RiNo’s pageant of people is a seasoned, wine-sipping strut where monthly displays of famous international artists blend seamlessly with Denver’s artistic establishment. Here, attendees are welcomed, but collectors are catered to. Some notable galleries in the district are Plinth Gallery which will host “The Slipcast Object,” a juried exhibition of contemporary slipcast ceramic work, through the month of April, and Hinterland Art Space organized by Denver notables Sabin Aell and Randy Rushton, who routinely exhibit a wide array of art, music, design, conceptual and performance pieces, and have been known to host both artist and community discussions, both formal and impromptu. A full listing of galleries and studios can be found at RiverNorthArt.com. If gallery-going isn’t your ideal evening out, RiNo’s also blossomed to include some freshly minted entertainment ideas like The Source which describes itself as “collective of food artisans and retailers of-
fering visitors everything from freshly baked bread, craft cocktails and street tacos, to contemporary flower arrangements.” The 15+ vendors and culinary outlets are housed under a single 1880s ex-brick foundry roof making the experience akin to an indoor street fair with less-than-casual dining prices. The merchants are as carefully curated as the neighboring gallery exhibitions and are an excellent way for one-stop-shoppers to get a taste of what makes Denverites tick: craft beer, sincere specialty shops, football photography, and fantastic food. Just up the street, Industry, a similarly minded collective slated to open its doors in May, promises to be Denver’s next hub for business, creativity, recreation, modern living, and dining as well as the business and creativity anchor of northern downtown. The unique blend of shopping, barista bars, dining options, and events are, like The Source, contained within one enclosed space, but here, it’s an art-deco ex-warehouse that’s been revamped and tricked out to revitalize the surrounding community in a new and youthful way — even Hickenlooper’s signed on to give the grand opening speech. Although the RiNo district is proud of its freshfaced approach to civic development, commerce, and culture there’s a tiny museum tucked away that honors the Denver of old: the Forney Museum of Historic Transportation. Potentially the area’s most charmingly charismatic addition, it’s named after its founder, initial operator, and most ardent advocate, the late Jack Forney, whose love of anything with gears is evidenced here by a museum that’s a veritable homage to the forgotten treasures of transit.
Photo by nathancordovaartist.com
Modestly priced for a boutique museum, it features fresh exhibitions monthly as well as a standing collection of vintage automobiles, motorcycles, tractors, and fire engines. The extensive collection of pristine, un-played-with Matchbox Cars is itself a testament to the American love-affair with travel — an auto-chronology lesson in miniature. The museum features a restored Union Pacific steam locomotive and a Denver and Rio Grande Line Dining car from the golden age of railway glamour. The standing collection is home to Amelia Earhart’s 1923 Kissel ‘Gold Bug’ automobile as well as a beautiful — if uncomfortable-looking — ultravintage 1817 Draisienne Bicycle. Since it was travel, trade, immigration, and tourism that originally forged RiNo, this little-museum-that-could is a particularly well-placed gem. All considered, RiNo evenings are potentially costly outings and its neighborhood grids can be difficult to decipher. Still, RiNo might just be the most recent refinement of our city’s stillmaturing ideas of style, palette, imagination, and playground.
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A Triad of Community: Globeville and Elyria-Swansea
S
ometimes, the Denver of today feels like a race of expansion and growth, its housing prices and development keeping all of us just abreast of that cresting wave of soaring rental markets and crushing property taxes. Such is especially true in the Globeville/ Elyria-Swansea trifecta of neighborhoods that are basically sandwiched between Commerce City and the northeast wing of the mousetrap. The recently waxing hispanic neighborhood was once the home to mostly Eastern European immigrants of German, Polish, Russian, and Scandinavian heritage who worked in the areas’ heavy-metal-smelting factories, and slaughterhouses who left their marks on the neighborhood in the form of orthodox churches, chapels, parks, and local waterways. Globeville’s proximity to downtown has put it on the map for urban-renewal projects like the commercial redevelopment of the National Western Stock Show Complex, various high-priced housing developments,
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Michael Frazier and (let’s be honest) the dreaded gentrification. Currently one of the last bastions of lower-working-class affordability in the downtown area, Globeville/Swansea/ Elysia is arming itself with new zoning laws, public parks, new policies, and many community outreach programs that are participated in and funded by the residents and business owners housed there. Since Denver razed 70 percent of its prime and historic downtown buildings in the late 70s (allegedly to curb crime and meet the growing demand for surface parking), families of color and the working poor have routinely settled in surrounding neighborhoods with lessthan-optimum standards of services and civic resources. The Globeville/Swansea/Elysia neighborhoods spent the 90s in and out of the news as a highly contested territory for gangs, resulting in many years of unnecessary violence, fear, and community outcry often surrounding the perceived racism of Denver’s Police system and
public policy makers. More recently, the gang violence has declined thanks to many public initiatives that simply added street lamps and sidewalks to large swaths of the neighborhood as well as an updated public library with after-school programs for elementary schoolers. Community-lead initiatives to sink sections of I70 underground and reunite sections of the neighborhood that have been divided since the late 60s are also aimed at curbing the community division. Still, at last census, the areas combined 288 instances of criminal activity per 1000 residents, allowing the area one of the highest crime rates of any neighborhood in Denver. One of the ways the township is investing in community unity is through initiatives to assist the poor and protect neighborhood youth. Argo Park recently saw a renovation and now consists of two soccer fields, basketball courts, skate practice area, and children’s play area. To the southern end of the park is Globeville’s outdoor community swimming pool which, during the summer, is free to neighborhood kids and almost impossibly cheap for grownups. (The community pool features indoor bathrooms, on-duty lifeguards, two water slides, and a 16+ hot tub as well as some really wonderful Maya-inspired murals that tweak your perspective … literally.) An interesting business addition to the area has been The GrowHaus, which you won’t be faulted for confusing with yet another weed dispensary, but is instead a large-scale indoor food farm that offers the residents of zip code 80216 access to an abundance of fresh-grown, weekly produce harvested on site or provided to them through their urban agrarian partnerships and bakeries. For $20, you get roughly 30 lbs of seasonal produce along with your choice of extras from their front-of-the-house store. The Growhaus also offers gardening classes, health and nutrition lectures, and summer programs for youth and others interested in learning to grow, harvest, cook, can, pickle, and produce their own food in the Colorado climate. All services, classes, and products are available in English and Spanish, and are offered on a sliding scale which allows everybody in on the fun. The rising tide of Denver’s urban expansion will inevitably overtake this area and others like it, but the best defense against future dispersal is a strong, organized, and active community with good political representation and a single-minded vision of selfadvocacy. As a resident here, I’m happy to say I see all those elements equally activated.
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Sittin’ on the Cap of the Hill
O’Brian Gunn
N
ot only is Capitol Hill one of the most expensive places to live in Denver, it’s also one of the gayest. Cap Hill has more gay bars, restaurants, events, and clubs than you can shake a di … err, stick at. If you’re lucky enough to be able to afford the rent or find good roomies, you’ll have no shortage of places to go and things to see. Bars Two-step your way to Charlie’s, lumber your way over to Wrangler, or gyrate your way to X Bar. No matter what your scene, persuasion, or music taste might be, chances are good that you’ll find it on the Hill. Be sure to peek in at Broadway’s for a drink and a song before you make your way to Boyztown to make a couple of half-naked friends. Restaurants What exactly makes a restaurant gay? Could it be a rainbow of seasonings and spices on every dish? Or perhaps entrées that are in danger of corrupting impressionable youths? Either way, there are plenty of gay restaurants to enjoy in Cap Hill. You’ll feel comfortable dining and drinking at Barricuda’s no matter which way you swing. Hamburger Mary’s serves up great food and great laughs in equal measure while gay-owned Racine’s has the community racing through the doors. If you’re ever close to 17th and Pearl, be sure to stop by Steuben’s for some awesome American cuisine.
36 | april 1, 2015
Sports Teams No Denver neighborhood would be complete without some type of athletic endeavor for fitness buffs to indulge in. Fans of biking are encouraged to check out the Rocky Mountain Bicycle Boys club where they can engage in camping trips, whitewater rafting, and skiing. The Denver Gay & Lesbian Flag Football League focuses on the love of football paired with sportsmanship and community.
of the third-largest pride festival in the entire country. Denver PrideFest comes once a year in June and showcases entertainment, cultural programs, arts and crafts, and local businesses and organizations. AIDS Walk Colorado serves to honor and remember those we have lost to AIDS. In addition to the walk course, participants can also check out the Celebration of Life Festival, volleyball tournament, 5k run, and the Diva Dash Stiletto Fun Run.
Crime Living in any major metropolitan area comes with its fair share of crime. Between 2009 and 2013, there were 652 cars reported as stolen in Capitol Hill. According to The Denver Post Crime Map and Stats, there were 216 crimes reported in Cap Hill between 2/16/2015 and 3/18/2015, with a majority of them being related to drugs and alcohol.
If you like the idea of living in one of Denver’s most popular gayborhoods, then it’s time to pack your bags and head for the Hill.
Activism Cap Hill also makes for a great location for individuals with the fire of activism burnin’ in their souls. The Center originally opened in 1976 and since then has become the Rocky Mountain region’s biggest community center. Stop by their location on East Colfax and check out the lending library, social and support groups, and acting classes and receive legal help for gay marriage.
Cap Hill Average monthly rent for a 2/2 place: ~$1800
Events No guide to Capitol Hill is complete without a mention
RMBB.org DenverGayFlagFootball.com Crime.DenverPost.com GLBTColorado.org
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the Grand Hall The Grand Hall is a welcoming forum of recreational public space decorated with vintage furniture for lounging, desks for work-style meetings, outlets for laptop and phone charging, an intimate setting for more private conversations, and large, velvet sectionals for group hangouts — all surrounding two vintage and fully-functional shuffleboard tables available free of charge.
A More Perfect Union Station Michael Frazier
T
he recently revamped Union Station at 17th and Wynkoop isn’t a neighborhood so much as a Denver Landmark and lifestyle highlight. The Beaux-Arts building, originally erected in 1881, was initially conceived to consolidate the four disparate and haphazardly built railroad stations that criss-crossed the 19th-century city making patron connections and freight distribution frighteningly slow, inconvenient, and relatively difficult for the young downtown infrastructure. Union Station became the hotspot and subsequent anchor for the new city and was, at the time, the largest and tallest building west of the Mississippi complete with a clocktower visible from 12 miles away. A freak fire in the women’s bathroom became a springboard for the station’s remodel in 1914 when the Grand Hall was retooled a guest waiting area that opened onto 17th street, Denver’s then commercial strip. When rail travel began its slow decline in the late 20s, the station too slipped trippingly into disuse and inevitable disrepair even with the now-famous Travel By Rail neon sign added in the early 40s to bolster business. In the following decades, multiple proposals were put forth to demolish the structure and sell off the land for private use, government offices, and warehouse space. Happily for current Denverites, someone always had the foresight to oppose these persistent measures. On March 18th of this year, Jeff Hermanson was officially inducted into the prestigious Colorado 38 | april 1, 2015
Tourism Hall of Fame for his visionary work on Larimer Square and nearby Union Station. The two properties became a 30-year slog for Hermanson to reconceptualize public-private enterprise, reframe city history and functionality, and re-format the way both citizens and visitors view their downtown culture. Much like Hermanson had hand-selected the businesses and business owners of Larimer Street, he and his group made a special effort to carefully curate the tenants of Denver Union Station. The goal was to craft a transportation hub that foremostly represented Denver as a whole and breathed life back into the structure’s initial function: to be the premiere transport hub in and out of the city.
The partnership between RTD, Amtrak, Crawford Hotel, Snooze, Tattered Cover, Bloom, and other longstanding iconic companies now thrive harmoniously within the building and its western bloc expansion. The underground bus station houses a 22gate bus terminal while overhead, the six-track lightrail station will eventually be home to the FasTrax Boulder, Airport, and West Corridor lines directly connected to the 16th Street free mallride at the west end of the development. Amtrak has a placement priority and offices that have never left, but now feel like an honored guests in a time-tested piece of the city’s heritage. However, the best update is that even if you aren’t traveling anywhere, the Grand Hall is a welcoming forum of recreational public space decorated with vintage furniture for lounging, desks for work-style meetings, outlets for laptop and phone charging, an intimate setting for more private conversations, and large, velvet sectionals for group hangouts — all surrounding two vintage and fully-functional shuffleboard tables available free of charge. The adjacent Terminal Bar serves food and drinks consumable in their leather-clad bar. Union Station may not be the tallest, grandest building west of the Mississippi anymore, but it’s perhaps the most glamorous “living room in a city” that the Queen City of the Plains could ask for.
One Man’s Trash is Another Garden’s Treasure Kelly Morris
C
omposting is the natural way of recycling organic matter and nutrients back into soil to be reused. It increases soil’s ability to retain moisture and reduces the need for fertilizers.
But why compost? The US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) found landfills to be one of the largest producers of methane, the second most prevalent greenhouse gas emitted from human activities. Though organic material like food, paper, and yard debris is 100 percent compostable, it’s also what we most throw away in our landfills, thus emitting mass amounts of greenhouse gas. Of all things sent to the landfill in Denver alone, 58 percent is organic material. So what can you do? Sign up on Denver’s compost collection page to see if your address is eligible. You’ll get a green bin to start filling with all your excess organic material. Vivian Walker has been composting in Colorado for more than thirty years. “I would definitely recommend it,” she says. “It keeps your refuse out of the sewage system and landfills, and it’s great for your garden, great for your environment!”
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Another option is backyard composting. Organic material must be separated into carbon and nitrogen sources which are simplified as brown and green sources. Carbon, or browns, include things like leaves, straw, and woody material. Nitrogen, or greens, include items like grass and food scraps. Once the material is separated and put into a bin in the backyard, it’s broken down by invertebrates that naturally start to appear. Mites, millipedes, beetles, sowbugs, earwigs, earthworms, slugs, and snails start to gather in the material and “cook” the compost through the heat they generate. This process kills harmful bacteria and when it’s finished, the pile has a crumbly texture that is nutrient rich and soil-like. To create your own backyard compost, choose a level area in your backyard that’s at least three square feet and receives only partial sun. Loosen an inch or so of the soil to allow the soil microorganisms access to the compost. Start adding alternate layers of carbon and nitrogen materials to your compost with a layer of soil in between. Mix the layers and water them until they feel like a wrung-out sponge. Throw straw or a plastic bag over the compost, which will prevent the direct sunlight from drying out the pile. Stir
the pile once a week. Continue with the layers, mixing and watering and in two months you’ll have your own compost. Brad Paterson audited a Master Composting Training Program in Denver and is about to start his own compost. “Backyard composting helps food waste decay in an environmentally responsible way,” he says. However, it does take continual effort to maintain, like turning the compost and cutting up material into two-by-two inch pieces. “If you don’t do it right, it can smell,” Brad says. “It could also attract vermin if the organics aren’t buried deep enough.” You’ll know your compost is ready when you can’t recognize most of the materials and it starts to smell like a forest. Once it reaches that stage, you can start to use it for houseplants, lawns, vegetables, flowers, herbs, trees, and shrubs. Still skeptical? Denver Urban Gardens offers free classes from April through October at the Grove Community Garden, located at 13th and Colorado, to teach Denverites how to compost. Happy composting! enver ! ty of D ail to n ps u i o C T ity and kitchen p hile
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Out Front Strain of the Month:
Purple Paralyzer Lady Lucky Charms
O
nce upon a time, long (lonnnng ago) — most likely in the 1970s — in a small, tuckedaway farming and mining community on the Western Slope, a legendary plant called Purple Paralyzer burst from the soil. Born of the genus cannabis, the mythical Paralyzer had intense, soporific powers, rendering even the biggest and burliest of man or woman senseless for hours. Before you go in search of this magical weed, read on … The stories of the Paralyzer have it all — intrigue, mystery, sex, drugs, rock & roll, pink elephants, drug smuggling, dancing bears, and a whole lot of
munchies. The mystery is how it actually got here. Rumor has it that a guy who spent time in Tibet smuggled some black, sticky hash back to this area. He was doing a construction project and hired a guy to help him, someone he’d get really high before he paid him so he could rip him off. One day, the boss passes out and the worker takes off with some seeds that supposedly “fell” out of the hash ball. The scandal! The cat was out of the bag. This area has been known for swingers for a long time and I suspect that’s something the purple “cat” brought along. We attract a lot of party people,
musicians, and artists. As for the dancing bears and pink elephants, that’s a personal anecdote about my first time trying the stuff, perhaps because I had just seen Fantasia. When I ask around about the stuff, I get a few a few raised brows. One local recalls her friends making several-thousand-mile Paralyzer runs to Paonia several times a year. Another talks about getting so stoned that she crawled under a table at a restaurant and pulled her turtleneck over her face. She sat there for a few hours. There are a number of private airstrips in the area that once were runways for planes carrying not only Paralyzer but all kinds of other “goodies” too. The drug smuggling is hearsay, of course, but there are some runways still in existence on private properties, as well as the Paonia airport which was privately owned at one time. To this day, Paralyzer has a reputation that’s so far and widely spread that when people say that they’re from Paonia, the most common response is “Paonia? Isn’t that where that crazy weed comes from?” I remember my first time smoking it. (Sort of.) I think I was about fifteen. One little puff and I was a vegetable for seven hours. It’s almost surreal for me, having grown up here and not really thinking about Paralyzer as any kind of a big deal. Even more surreal is the fact that pot is now legal! What?! Who woulda thunk it. This mysterious strain of cannabis manages to remain just that — a mystery. It’s still talked about (in whispers) and highly sought after — a legend that shows no signs of fading. Purple, Paralyzer, Purple P-Bud. Whatever you choose to call it, this wicked weed has a very colorful past and, I suspect, an even more colorful future.
Red Tie Affair The 2015 Red Tie Affair was held on March 21st at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. The elegant night of cocktails and dinner kicked off the Compassionate Connections Campaign and featured remarks from Denver Mayor Michael Hancock. The campaign focuses on creating a new home for the CHN statewide administrative office, DCAP’s client services space, and Howard Dental Center’s treatment center. This multi-purpose locale will provide a center where clients can receive compassionate care under one roof and will be a site for innovative and sociallyfocused programs, services, and staff trainings.
Photo by Charles Broshous
40 | april 1, 2015
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SUV Lexus GX 460 42 | april 1, 2015
You know the saying: The dose makes the poison. At the Dose of Love Fashion Show, the sentiment was loud, live, and in color. Photography: Jessica Lassiter of Lady and a Lens Photography Dose-Apparel.MyShopify.com
Outfrontonline .com | 43
Y
The New
411 on Breakfast
Staples Kelsey Lindsey
44 | april 1, 2015
ou may have recalled my previous writeup on coffee — how, along with its elevating properties to help you be a more productive, happy, and ambitious force, it also packs some terrific health benefits. It looks like I wasn’t alone in investigating these beneficial health properties. In February, the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee released a report setting new recommendations for a national standard of dietary advice. Working my way through the report, I failed to repress a squeal of delight when it stated that coffee could actively reduce the risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes, then went on to say that healthy adults can drink up to five cups of black coffee a day without any ill effects. Looks like me and my Starbucks buddy are about to become really close. Another favorite that got the a-ok? Eggs. The report said that cholesterol was not a “nutrient of concern,” and did not include any limits in its recommendations. Blood cholesterol is typically reflective of people’s overall diets — not just their cholesterol intake. A healthy diet should include plenty of vegetables, fruits, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains and limited amounts of “animal-based foods” like red meat. So go ahead and get all Portlandia and put an egg on that polenta, (whole grain) pasta dish, or wilted spinach salad. Now, the bad news. My squeals of delight were sedated after reading the report’s findings on sugar. Do I know that added sugar, in all its forms, is bad for me? Yes. Would I gladly start my day with a bowl of Lucky Charms floating in a vat of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and sprinkles? Also, yes. But the facts
Currently, Amer icans get about 13 perc ent of their calories from sugar, a number the co mmittee would like to se e lowered to 10 percen t.
are there, and my sweet tooth can’t object no matter how hard I try to coat them in delightful sugar. Currently, Americans get about 13 percent of their calories from sugar, a number the committee would like to see lowered to 10 percent. The report also takes a fairly radical step in suggesting a tax on sugary beverages and food to encourage a decreased consumption of these foods. And it may be for a good reason — the committee found that almost half of Americans have preventable diseases related to an unhealthy diet, including type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and “diet-related cancers.” So while you may not be able to enjoy that glazed donut with those eggs and … soy bacon? … feel free to keep the coffee flowing.
Tucked Returns Finally, Tucked has come back to Denver! After a 14-month hiatus, Goddess Duane and his den of delightful divas returned to the stage in a new venue. Tucked, a venerable fan favorite, debuted at Tracks Nightclub on March 14th. A capacity crowd packed the Absolut Lounge for the show’s widely anticipated return. Tucked, with the good Goddess, his charismatic cast, and DJ Christopher will be featured the second Saturday of every month at Tracks. Welcome back!
Photo by Charles Broshous
Outfrontonline .com | 45
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Out Front Celebrates 39 Years Out Front has proudly served Colorado’s LGBT community for almost four decades. April 2015 marks our 39th anniversary. Our 900 + issues have seen a lot over the years. Thank you to all the staff members, contributors, business partners, advertisers, and readers, who have helped us grow into the second oldest LGBT publication in the United States. Come celebrate with us on Friday, April 10th at VIE Nightclub.
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Outfrontonline .com | 49
Dear Felicia:
STFU Robyn Vie-Carpenter
S
o I was eating a luxuriously leisurely breakfast before a flight the other day, sitting with profound satisfaction over my virtuous meal. I had organic, fair-trade Jasmine green tea instead of coffee, and fruit and avocado instead of bread, eggs, or cheese.
50 | april 1, 2015
I’m being so good, I thought to myself. I was sitting there smugly looking around thinking, Does everyone see how well I take care of myself? The thing is, I have no issue with eating healthfully. I stopped eating meat because my body likes it better. I dropped seafood and went fully vegetarian last year, much to the chagrin of my Louisiana-born wusband. I even reduced my white potato intake to occasional indulgences instead of a diet staple. We buy organic, non-GMO, and local as much as possible.
Yet I still find myself periodically struggling with guilt over my eating habits. I chastise myself for relying too heavily on cheese when I don’t know what to eat. I get tired of hummus. I often choose a croissant when it’s available. Periodically, I even miss having a tuna fish salad sandwich. Not to mention, I have a serious love of champagne and other sparkling beverages. Plus, since moving to our new place, we’ve begun regularly having cocktails before dinner, with a pitcher of margs always at the ready. When I catch me judging myself over my diet choices, I have to stop and smile. I remind myself that I got a clean bill of health from my doctor. In fact, my body regularly fights off disease without need of pharmaceuticals. I walk or bike to run errands and do yoga most weeks. I feel rested and energized when I wake without need for any caffeine boosts most mornings (I did mention my love of champagne and margaritas). So, why do I feel the need to be better? I’m blaming it on Felicia. This is the name I have given to the judging voice in my head. The voice that says, “Tsk, tsk! Do you really need another glass of champagne?” The voice that says, “Shouldn’t you be eating oatmeal instead of a hot, buttery croissant with jam?” Felicia is the voice of guilt and judgment. I will publicly apologize if your name is Felicia and you are taking offense to my making my internal judge your namesake. In fairness, I offer my name in exchange for your judgy voice. I’m not really sure how she got her name — I just know she’s quite vocal. It seemed appropriate. I will say, though, that Felicia is totally on point with her questioning at times. Do I really need another glass? Do I really need to drive to the corner? Wouldn’t it be better to walk? No, you’re right Felicia: This is my last drink. Right again, Felicia: I should walk since I haven’t been out all day. Other times I have to tell her to STFU because I’m a grown ass woman and I can have another glass if I want to! So, I say to you dear readers, if you are being chastised by the judgy voice in your head, do as I do: Flip the script, flip the mental bird, and say, “Bye Felicia! I’m doing just fine, thank you very much.”
So the Rockies haven’t had the best track record, but Denver’s got spirit, YES WE DO! (Fake it til you make it, right guys?) 2015 could be the Rockies’ year so get out there and support those purple pinstripes on April 10 for the first home game of the season. Here are a few of our fave spots in town to watch the game outside the stadium.
4
Spring-Loaded Opening Day Hotspots Stefanie Cochrane
Jackson’s Bar and Coors Field go hand in hand. Located right across the street, this spot is clutch for game-day fun. Its huge patio, drink specials, and 40+ tuned-in televisions call to fans from all over the city. You won’t be able to see the field, but you’ll hear the roar. Hopefully you’ll be able to smell the hot dogs, too. Hit View House, the Market Street staple for a guaranteed great opening day. Swingin’ the doors open at 9am, the View House has drink specials running all day and all kinds of giveaways. Take it from us: Breakfast burritos do pair well with PBR and Jamo shots. They also have a huge outdoor area, complete with lawn bowling. Yeah, you heard right. #VHOpeningDay
The Tavern is only a baseball throw away from Coors Field. Their patio has more than 11,000 sun-shining square feet and features two projection screens to broadcast the big game. Opening day will feature drink specials and chances to win Rox tix. Since we’ll be celebrating a big win (fingers crossed), the city calls to Rockies fans to come out and play, late night style, at X Bar. Check out their after party (sponsored by Svedka Vodka) for free drinks, cocktail specials, and giveaways. House DJs will help you boogie the night away. Don’t miss the infamous Rockies Shot — it’s outta the park.
301 East 7th Ave. 303 894 0788
b e n n y s re s t a u r a n t . c o m Open for lunch and dinner 7 days a week, and weekend breakfast
Drink Specials Tuesday:
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Thursday:
22oz Dos XX, Negra Modelo, Tecate $3.75
Happy Hour: Mon - Fri, 4 - 6 p.m. Sat & Sun, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Outfrontonline .com | 51
How to Develop Your Inner
Douchebag* Brent Heinze
I
’ve been writing these columns for more than four years with the primary purpose of helping people create better, more fulfilling lives. In light of the overwhelming patterns emerging in our culture of people acting in thoughtless, judgmental, and mean-spirited ways, this tutorial will help you become better equipped to deal with these situations and people. Don’t worry about trying to change other people’s behaviors or have your own integrity — it’s better to just give in, fit in, and act like a douchebag! Everyone else seems to be doing it, so follow along. Don’t forget that practice makes perfect! Make six dates for the same day and time — in case people flake out. If nothing else, you can be well positioned for an orgy or a small dinner party. It’s awesome to have initial conversations discussing the size of someone’s equipment, inquiring about their favorite sexual activities, or requesting pictures of them screwing. Get these most important questions out in the open and answered upfront. People are rarely worth more than just a sexy romp anyway. Don’t bother showing up or letting someone know you won’t be coming. It takes way too long to shoot someone a text to be thoughtful, and your time is definitely more precious than theirs. If someone contacts you and you’re not interested, put them in their place and tell them why you think they’re an ugly loser. It’s much better to do
something like this than risk saying ‘thanks’ and having them continue to pursue you. Hopefully, being mean will get them to either leave social networking sites or quit going out in public to meet new people. If you’re not attractive, find pictures of a someone you think will lure a stranger into meeting you. Don’t worry if you don’t really look like that picture — the other person will probably be so desperate it won’t matter. Most of us just want to get off and it doesn’t really matter who it’s with. Practice snarky comments, aggressive body language, and bitchy facial expressions to keep people away. The only people you’ll attract will be those awesome guys who are playing the same game. Keep looking for a better option after you make firm plans with someone. Trust me, there are tons of hotter people just around the corner. Don’t quit the search! It’ll be worth it when some other stud shows up to fulfill your fantasies better than the first one.
Hot and heavy conversations should leave them wanting more, but don’t ruin it by giving them anything physical from you. If you tell them you’re truly interested in meeting, they’ll keep pumping you with hot masturbation material that you’ll never have to make good on in person. Refuse to open the door when someone shows up to mess around. The thrill of the chase is so awesome. It should be satisfying enough to know you made them want you and that they’re leaving angry and sexually frustrated. Do whatever you can to get off without reciprocation. If they don’t get off before you, that’s their problem. After shooting, either jump up to wipe off before putting on your pants or roll over to fall asleep. They can do the rest themselves. *This is an April Fool’s parody. Don’t be a douche.
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Hookups Dear Shanna, As someone who feels very connected to the animal side of me, I am wondering what we can learn from the animal world as far as mating techniques. What can other species teach us about how to best attract our perfect match? - Animal Planet Expert, Denver Dear Animal Planet Expert, What a brilliant idea. Let’s think about some of the mating habits of other species in order to improve our own techniques in the awkward world of dating and sex! Bonobos are all about being lovers and not fighters. When there is an argument or disagreement, they solve it by getting it on. Next time you’re out and about, and see a fight about to go down, you can be the one to save the day by offering to actually go down. Problem solved. Dolphins are not ashamed of sex and have voracious sexual appetites, which might be more similar to humans than we care to think. However, before you start to click and whistle like Flipper when you’re in the sack, you should take note: The average amount of time from start to finish for a dolphin is just 12 seconds. Consider that. Pandas enjoy watching panda porn to set the mood … so while we’re not suggesting you watch the world’s cutest bears to get in the mood, you might consider picking up a DVD or streaming some adult cinema to get you and your partner(s) all revved up before the mattress mambo begins. Into the Butthole Surfers’ song Detachable Penis? The Argonaut (the Paper Nautilus) is too. In fact, because the size difference between male and female Argonauts is so epic (the females are MUCH larger, in case you were wondering), the male actually detaches his penis and sends it on over to his mating partner. Perhaps don’t try this at home. Like golden showers here and there? Both giraffes and porcupines have similar interests, and participate in a bit of spritzing as part of their foreplay. Think about adding some quills or stilts to your sexual repertoire to truly mimic the mating habits of these mammals. Have fun getting it on, Shanna PS: This is parody.
Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna (anonymously)? Email shannakatz@gmail.com. ShannaKatz.com 54 | april 1, 2015
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Which Glee quote was inspired by your life so far? Aries: “The only straight I am is a straight up bitch.” Taurus: “I know hickies. I’m a freakin’ connoisseur. I can make them into shapes, like balloon animals.” Gemini: “I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them.” Cancer: “I finally realized my life-long ambition of being mistress to a strip mall tycoon.”
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Leo: “I need to take control of myself and my body, just like Madonna, which is why I’m planning on doing the nasty with you tonight at your place.” Virgo: “Revenge. Fear. The merciless affliction of pain. These are my kingdoms.”
Sagittarius: “Why does everyone assume I’m angry all the time? It’s called being sassy.” Capricorn: “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”
Libra: “You had me at sex tape.”
Aquarius: “If you’re planning on getting up on this, you’re gonna have to make some changes.”
Scorpio: “I’m a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die.”
Pisces: “Sober? I’m rolling on a fistful of horse tranquilizers. I can’t feel my lips.”
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