02.14.08 Outlook Weekly - The Royal Renegades

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VIEW E R S T GIRL A F • Y ROYAL RENEGADES • VALENTINE’S DA

2 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes

SNAPSHOT

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com

WORLD FAMOUS MODEL & AMERICA’S POP PRINCESS HIT THE JACKPOT AT MYNT ULTRA LOUNGE

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com

In the recent onslaught of guest and impromptu appearances by the country’s biggest party girls, Tanya Michelle Jones and Bethany Styles, the two were at it again last Thursday, January 24th.

After attending a Shadowbox show at the Easton Town Center the girls and their entourage were spotted at the hip nightspot: Mynt Ultra Lounge, located in Columbus’ popular Arena District.

After arriving in their usual white Navigator limousine the two dodged photographers and kept a low profile in a reserved VIP booth. After several rounds

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mette Bach, Danielle Buckius, Wayne R Besen, Chris Crain, Jennifer Vanasco, Tom Moon, Regina Sewell, Leslie Robinson, Gregg Shapiro, Mick Weems, Julianne French, TF Barton, Romeo San Vicente, Jeff Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Tristan Taormino, Dennis Vanke, Mario Pinardi, Rick Kramer, Aaron Drake, Jennie Keplar, Scott Varner, Derrik Chinn, Dan Savage, Felice Newman, Tim Curran, Chris Hughes, Stephen J Fallon, Felice Newman, J. Eric Peters, Crystal Hawkins, Brent Wilder, Matthew Burlingame, Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Matthew Veritas Tsien, Cheri Meyers

BUSINESS & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels mdaniels@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 ADVERTISING DEADLINE Each Wednesday 8 days prior to publication.

Call us at 614.268.8525.

of cosmopolitan cocktails the celebs and their entourage took to the dance floor, mingling with the urban crowd at the nightclub.

It is rumored that Styles convinced Mynt’s DJ to share the mic and jumped up on a table to perform her 1st hit, the song that put her on the map, “On Top of the World.”

Styles also gave the crowd a sneak preview of her new album Atomic singing her first single “Showtime.”

Frequent Mynt patron Amber Sykes, 29, said, “It was cool to have them there but it did kind of seem like a promotional stunt. I mean, Bethany’s only in Columbus to promote her new CD – why

would she care about performing in a nightclub if it wasn’t to make more money?

And why would her producer be there, unless it was just a set up?”

While a few shared Sykes’ cynicism the majority of the crowd were thrilled to be in the same room with the two superstars and Styles’ producer, known only as “The Message.”

“Does the party ever end for these girls?” questioned Sykes. “It’s like everywhere I look I’m reading about what clubs they hit each night.

The partying they do seem like a recipe for disaster if you ask me.”

MORE FROM THE VIRGINIAN : PHOTOS BY TRAUT

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FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008 VOLUME 12 NUMBER 33

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .....3/30 COMMENTARY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........4 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........6 GENERAL GAYETY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........8 TRANSNATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........9 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......11 INSIGHT OUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......13 FEATURE: ROYAL RENEGADES . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .15-16 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......18 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......18 BOOKMARKS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......20 SHOPPING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......22 INTERVIEW : FAT GIRLS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......24 REVIEWS: JUNO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......27 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......27 SEX TALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......28 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......29 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 NEXT WEEK: PRIMARY COVERAGE!

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 3 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 HOG TIED World’s Toughest Bulls and Broncs @ Nationwide Arena, corner of Naby Chris Hayes tionwide and Neil, 614.246.2000, www.NationwideArena.com: In addiDsummers@capital.edu: Ohio boryn tion to exciting bareback riding, sadHyde knows the inside world of dle bronc riding and bull riding, Washington, DC law and the intrigue women’s barrel racing returns as a that goes. He has channeled that featured event. After the rodeo acknowledge into The Only Pure Thing, tion ends, Lyric Street Records a mystery novel introducing Stuart recording artist Trent Tomlinson Clay, a DC defense attorney who in- takes the stage for a concert featurherits a case he’d rather have left to ing material from his debut CD, the last guy: Benny Batiste’s head is Country is my Rock, which includes found separated from his body, and singles, “Drunker Than Me” and the police arrest homeless Cleveland “One Wing in Fire.” 7:30p, $17- $39.

Barnes, whom Stuart has to defend.

1:30p, free.

LIVE MUSIC Amy Steinberg @ The East Village, PUCKER UP 630 N High St, 614.228.3546, columKiss and Tell @ the Van Fleet Theatre busnightlife.com: The nationally tourhe Columbus Performing Arts Center, ing singer/songwriter 549 Franklin Ave, 614.228.CGMC, will be appearing along with some of www.cgmc.com: Join the chorus as Columbus’ most popular drag kings. they share Valentine’s Day sweets With irreverent humor and crafty inand revel in the kiss of this delicious telligence, Steinberg uses her origiseason. Don’t miss your chance to nal music and poetry to promote enjoy a wide collection of uptempo tolerance, openness and diversity. tunes and moving ballads, including Combining a sassy sensibility with a Shoop Shoop Song, Build Me Up But- loquacious socio-political and spiritercup, and True Colors! Tonight and tual awareness, Amy brings forth a tomorrow. 8p; $20. fresh and solid energy. 10p; free.

ABOUT TOWN FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15 AND THE WINNER IS… Awards Night! @ @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, ColumbusSymphony.com: Performed by the Columbus Symphony, part of the Huntington State Street Pops series. Enjoy Valentine’s Day weekend with the Columbus Symphony as they pay tribute to past musical Tony and Oscar winners. It’s like your favorite awards show, only without the commercials and never-ending speeches.

Friday’s show opens with the second “Great Columbus Sing-Off” semifinal round—Idol-icious! Tonight and tomorrow. 8p; $18-$60.

FOR THE CHILDREN Fo’ Dem Ladeez Tour @ The East Village, 630 N High St,614.228.3546, columbusnightlife.com: Join the kings’ king Luster, Columbus alternative hip hop sensations UNECC and E as Untouchable and Alantabased Dalyrical with their special mix of live vocals, drag kinging and some ass thumpin’ beats. Get ready to sweat and shake it!! Be sure to get there in time for the IDKE.X FACE-OFF fundraiser. E and Unecc will square off try to do each other’s song the best for tips - all to help sponsor the IDKE.X scholarship fund. 10p; free.

CAFFEINE AND CHRIST Coffee House @ North Broadway UMC, 48 E North Broadway, 614.268.8626, www.north-broadway.org: NBUMC is sponsoring a Coffeehouse, tonight. Music from area high school bands plays from 8-11p.

A WHO DONE IT All high school students welcome.

Patrick Hyde @ Capital University, 1 Free pop, snacks & games. Doors College & Main, 614.236.6011, open at 7:45p, $1.

TREAT THY NEIGHBOR… The Work Of Extravagant Generosity: A “Servant Evangelism” Project Of Unconditional Giving To Our Neighbors @ North Broadway UMC, 48 E North Broadway, 614.268.8626, www.north-broadway.org: Encoutering Christ through Woship, Word and Work is the focus this Lent at North Broadway Untied Methodist Chruch.

The apostle Paul calls us to “work out our own salvation,” and John Wesley taught that works of piety are meaningless without works of mercy.

This Lenten series will seek to unite piety and mercy in the works of ministry and outreach. Each Saturday morning during Lent, a NBUMC Staff Member and Ministry Team will offer the opportunity to engage in active, outward focused, mission and witness ministry with our neighborhood.

Join us to “encounter Christ” in a variety of experiences. 9:30a; free.

MY FUNNY GAY VALENTINE Valentine’s Dinner-Dance @ North Congregational United Church of Christ, 2040 W Henderson Rd (west of Reed Rd), 614.425.7729: A Valentine’s Dinner-Dance intended to provide an enjoyable, affirming experience for gay couples and “gayfriendly” straight couples. Singles are welcome, too. The event will feature an Italian-themed dinner followed by dancing to music provided by a DJ. Reservations are due Feb 9 Please indicate your preference for a meat or vegetarian entrée (braciola or eggplant parmesan) when you place your reservation. Proceeds from the event will go toward church operations. North is an “open and affirming” UCC congregation. 7p; $15.

flirt all night. 10p; cover.

Gay Film Series, Drexel Gateway Cinemas, 1550 N High St, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19 614.545.2255, www.bentfilm.org: GET TO STEPPIN’ The Gateway’s gay film series continStonewall Columbus Pride 2008 ues tonight with Say Uncle. When a 3,000 Steps Kick-Off Party @ Union single gay man starts hanging out at Bar+Food, 782 N High St, neighborhood playground, he catches 614.421.CAFE (2233), columbusthe eye of local “supermom” (Kathy nightlife.com: Start thinking about Najimy) who determines he is a Pride. Free appetizers, cash bar, threat to society and must be commemorative dog tags & brought to justice. A dark comedy in stonewall membership, and learn the vein of Election and Citizen Ruth. about your membership benefits. $30 Come meet the star, QAF’s own Peter donation.

Paige. See the back cover for more info. 5:30 mingle, 7:05p film; $6.50.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 OUR NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21 The Short North Business Associa- VOICES OF 125TH tion Annual Membership Meeting Harlem Gospel Choir @ The Southand Social @ Havana, 862 N High ern Theatre, 21 E Main St, St, 614.421.9697, columbus614.340.1896, www.capa.com: An nightlife.com: Great food (complievening with the world-famous ments of Union Cafe), cash bar, cool Harlem Gospel Choir, a renowned asdoor prizes and a little social time sembly of the finest gospel singers with all your Short North comrades. and musicians from the churches of Brief program at 6:30p. 6p-8p; free. Harlem, New York, is an extraordinary experience of foot-stomping, handKINDLING NOT INCLUDED clapping blues, jazz, and gospel. 8p; Scott Galloway: Tinderbox Tales @ $5-$29.50.

Dublin Arts Council (DAC), 7125 Riverside Dr, Dublin, 614.889.7444, MONDAY, FEBRUARY 23 www.dublinarts.org: Exhibition of BURR IT’S COLD OUT THERE! digitally manipulated artwork. GalOut In The Cold Songwriter’s Tour loway uses collage and digital ma@ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, nipulation to produce expressions of 614.224.4050, clubdiversity.com: anxiety and chaos. Sometimes whim- Philly-based songwriters and bandsical and often macabre, Galloway’s leaders Chris Schutz and Steph work will challenge the viewer to ex- Hayes are bringing their brand of tract the wit and message in each indie folk to the in as part of their artwork. Opening reception tonight.

Out In The Cold acoustic winter tour.

6p-8p; free.

9:30p; free.

CROSS TOWN TRAFFIC Traffic Jam @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: What signal are you sending? Come play in the street and show your colors: red -taken, yellow - taken but willing to play, green Bent Out of Shape - single and wet for you. Dance and Peter Paige & Say Uncle @ Bent

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

The Reader Poll

4 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

COMMENTARY

by Wayne Besen

Last week we asked:

Where Is The Gay Jesse Jackson?

As the nail biter of a presidential race becomes more uncertain, the only thing guaranteed is a good cry on Inauguration Day. Electing our first woman or black president will bring sobs of joy, just as the election of a Republican will usher in wallowing wails of woe.

However, there is one more issue that is worthy of tears, and that is how few Americans could imagine a gay President of the United States. At the age of 37, if I proclaimed that one day I would run for president, people would offer patronizing or quizzical looks, before they suggested a random drug test. They would say, “We won’t see a gay president in your lifetime.”

However, if John McCain wins the prize he will be inaugurated at the age of 71. If I ran for president at the same age as McCain, that would mean I could count on 34 more years of social change, which may be enough time for a gay or lesbian American to be a viable presidential candidate.

If this sounds implausible, consider that it was 34 years ago that homosexuality was removed from the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental disorders. The APA decision was only four years after the Stonewall riots. Since this time, we have lived though AIDS, passed a multitude of gay rights laws, have had openly gay members of Congress and witnessed same-sex marriage become a reality in Massachusetts.

Clearly, it is not inconceivable that in 34 years - 2042 - a gay person could theoretically become president. It is likely that our Barack Obama is now in grade school. This gifted gay individual will be charismatic and able to appeal to mainstream Americans to win the greatest prize in politics.

The question is, how are those of us who don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of becoming president, paving the way for this young man or woman to achieve his or her dreams?

In order for our Obama to fulfill his or her potential, it is essential that the GLBT movement runs serious presidential candidates in the next election cycle. That’s right, “candidates” in the plural - meaning we run a Democrat and a Republican.

The Democrat would play the role of Jesse Jackson - a trailblazer that will lose badly, but earn respect and lay the groundwork for the future. This sacrificial lamb will be known as “the gay candidate,” so

Are you currently in a relationship?

when our gay Obama is finally ready - he or she can transcend sexual orientation and win - or lose - on the merits.

It is also crucial we run a credible Republican, in order to articulate the case for gay rights in front of conservative audiences. This not only would make the other candidates uncomfortable in their gay bashing, but this candidate could serve as a role model.

However, as the old sports cliché goes, “if you stay on the sidelines, you aren’t in the game.” By not having a gay candidate run, we accede the field to all heterosexual candidates and we are therefore largely invisible. Now, I can understand not running a gay candidate this time around in the Democratic primary, since the field was already crowded with history makers. But in the future, this is unacceptable and we ought to aim for fair representation in the next election cycle.

The bottom line is, that until we first have our Jesse Jackson, we will never have our Barack Obama. Just having an openly gay person onstage allows young people to dream and imagine a world of unlimited possibilities.

The GLBT political groups ought to make it a priority to find the best Republican and Democratic candidates to run next time around. Aside from the historical aspect, it would be amazing publicity. Each time a gay candidate walked on-stage to debate, it would be worth millions of dollars of free advertising for the GLBT movement. I can’t think of a better investment and use of our advocacy dollars.

There are three hundred million people in America, so no on can credibly argue that we can’t find at least one gay or lesbian person up to the task. After all, you can’t convince me that Rep. Barney Frank or former Human Rights Campaign leader Elizabeth Birch can’t do a better job than Gary Bauer or Alan Keyes.

One stereotype is that gay people like theatre - so it is past time we come out from behind the curtain. By playing supporting on-stage roles in the next presidential election, our leaders can set the stage for our leading man or woman in the future.

Yes 68% No 32%

What’s the longest time period that you’ve been in a relationship?

Less than 1 year 12%

1-2 years

5%

2-5 years

21%

10-49 years

39%

5-10 years

24%

Over 50 years

0%

Log on to:

www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.

© 2008 Wayne Besen. All rights reserved. Anything But Straight. www.waynebesen.com

32% SO U RC

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

E : ABC NEWS

CATEGORY

NOV 2 ’04

FEB 11 ’08

DIFFERENCE

AMERICAN DEAD

1,122

3,959

2,837

AMERICAN WOUNDED

8,124

29,092

20,968

IRAQI CIVILIAN DEAD

16,342

88,479

72,137

NATIONAL DEBT

$7,429,629,954,236

$9,242,126,576,493

DAYS ‘TIL 2008 ELECTION

1,463

267

$1,812,496,622,257 (1,196)

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 5

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

6 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

COMMUNITY CORNER RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY FOR HIV POSITIVE MEN The “Disclosure to family? You choose” intervention for HIV-positive men who have sex with men (MSM) is designed to help men improve their HIV-disclosure skills and gain comfort and confidence disclosing to family members. Dr. Julianne Serovich, Professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Science in the College of Education and Human Ecology at The Ohio State University, developed the pilot intervention in conjunction with other HIV researchers, prevention specialists, and HIV-positive men who have sex with men (MSM), and is now recruiting research participants to test the program’s effectiveness.

Participants will engage in several exercises to help learn disclosure strategies, identify costs and rewards of particular strategies, ways to minimize disclosure costs,

CATS AND NEWSLETTER NEED GOOD HOME Many of you may know Dorothy H, the editor of the Lesbian Health News, which has been in publication for over 10 years. Dorothy has also been very involved in our community in many capacities, including at the Ohio Lesbian Festival.

What some of you may not know is Dorothy went into the hospital last September, the night of the festival. She has not been home since. She has gone back and forth from the hospital to the rehab facility to the hospital and back again. She is now at a Specialty Hospital and is working on her recovery.

Because of her situation, there are two urgent matters: First, and most urgent, Dorothy has two cats who need a good home, no later than February 23. Both are fixed, one is female, the other male. They are both indoor only cats. The youngest, a yellow tiger, Cleo, is 4 is super affectionate and loving. She would do well in nearly any situation. The other is Jimmy a medium haired white and grey cat. Jimmy is older (about 8) shy and reserved and needs a quiet and calm home with no kids and no dogs. He would do best with someone who is home most of the time. Ohio LBA Webmistress, Holly would like to help cover Cleo and Jimmy’s costs incurred over the last couple of months.

She will be asking for an adoption fee for each of them, but rather than use this for their costs it will be a donation to the Cat Welfare Association in Columbus, Ohio. LBA will also be interviewing prospective owners, asking for vet and personnel references, will check them, and will visit the new home where they might be living. It is very important to Dorothy that her precious kitties find a good and safe home.

If you, or someone you know, would be interested in adopting one or both of these wonderful kitties, please email me. I will be looking for the best fit for both of these kitties, so I’ll have some questions for you. Holly is committed to finding the best home for both of them and also to solving any potential barriers to their adoption.

The other issue is the need to find someone who would be willing to take over the Lesbian FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

and how to deal with reactions. “Participating in the study may offer opportunities for increased knowledge, improved skills, and personal growth,” says Dr. Serovich. “For those participants struggling with disclosure decisions, this experience may be cathartic; simply discussing the struggles surrounding secrecy related to one’s HIV status may be relieving. Such discussions may also offer hope about the positive consequences of disclosure and provide individuals alternative ways in which to think about the benefits of disclosure.”

Dr. Serovich is interested in recruiting HIVpositive MSM who are 18 years old or older, feel distressed about disclosure (or find themselves unable to disclose), and are willing to participate in 5 sessions over a three month-period. Each session is expected to

last approximately 1 ½ hours, and participants are paid $25 for their evaluation of each session.

Dr, Serovich says “Our hope is that by improving communication skills and incorporating new tools for disclosure participants may reduce emotional distress, experience increased levels of empowerment (through proactive self-disclosure), enhanced sense of responsibility to self and others, and feel rewarded for taking positive actions.”

Participation is voluntary and all information associated with this study will remain strictly confidential. If you have questions or would like to discuss eligibility, please contact the project office at 614.688.4168. Minorities are especially encouraged to participate.

Health News. Dorothy is no longer able to do this herself. She would like to remain as an advisor, as her health allows, but is willing to completely turn over the reigns to her successor. LHN is currently on hiatus until someone else can take over. If we cannot find someone, then its most recent publication will have been its last.

Please try to help us find a home(s) and an editor! To help, email: hrast@insight.rr.com.

ownership overturned. Heller’s rights to own a gun for self-protection were upheld by the Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit. D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty appealed the case to the Supreme Court.”

The brief states that ‘Laws that prevent the use of firearms for self-defense in one’s own home disproportionately impact those individuals who are targets of hate violence due to their minority status, whether defined by race, religion, sexual orientation, or other characteristic.… [Not] only do members of the LGBT community have a heightened need to possess firearms for self-protection in their homes, the Second Amendment clearly guarantees this most basic right. This Court should not permit the democratic majority to deprive LGBT individuals of their essential and constitutional right to keep and bear arms for self-defense in their own homes” The brief also makes a unique argument, tying the denial of rights of gay men and lesbians to possess firearms to the statutory mandate to exclude those same citizens from military service through the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” rules: “… Interpreting the Second Amendment as recognizing a right conditioned upon military service, where eligibility for military service is defined by the Government, prevents the Amendment from acting as any constraint on Government action at all. Such a result is contrary not only to the literal text of the Amendment, but to the intentions of the Framers.

Further, in light of the current ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy, such an interpretation would completely eradicate any Second Amendment right for members of the LGBT community.”

A number of other organizations have also submitted amicus curiae briefs to the Supreme Court in this case, arguing in favor of an individual right to possess firearms, including the Cato Institute, Disabled Veterans for Self Defense, Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership, the Rutherford Institute, and a group of women legislators and academics.

The case is District of Columbia v. Heller, Docket No. 07-290. A copy of the Pink Pistols/GLIL brief can be accessed at http://tinyurl.com/29uqgo.

GLAAD APPOINTS SIX NEW MEMBERS TO NATIONAL BOARD OF DIRECTORS The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) announced the appointment of six new members to its 35-member board of directors at its winter board meeting: Gary Bitner of Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.; Carlos Carreras of Los Angeles, Calif.; Leslie Donovan of Princeton, N.J.; Collin Sam of Pasadena, Calif.; Mike Schaefer of Seattle, Wash.; and Bill Stewart of Chicago, Ill. GLAAD is a national media advocacy organization dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representations of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation.

“GLAAD works to tell the stories of gay and transgender people across the country,” said GLAAD President Neil G. Giuliano. “With the addition of such a diversity of advocates, talents and opinions, GLAAD is strengthened in its work to change hearts and minds.” For more information, please visit www.glaad.org.

GAYS & LESBIANS FOR INDIVIDUAL LIBERTY SUBMIT BRIEF IN 2nd AMENDMENT CASE Gays and Lesbians for Individual Liberty (GLIL) has joined with Pink Pistols in support of the Second Amendment rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered Americans by filing a friend-of-the-court brief with the United States Supreme Court.

GLIL chairman Richard Sincere explained: “The brief was filed in support of Dick Anthony Heller, who sued the District of Columbia to have its draconian prohibition on private gun

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR 2008 COLUMBUS ARTS FESTIVAL Applications to volunteer at the 2008 Columbus Arts Festival presented by Time Warner Cable, June 6, 7 & 8 in downtown’s Discovery District are now available. The Greater Columbus Arts Council seeks volunteers to assist with a variety of duties for this year’s Festival. Applications are being accepted for the following volunteer positions: Artists’ Booth Monitor, provide brief breaks for artists, as needed; Hands-On Activities, assist with interactive art activities for children and adults; Souvenir Sales; and Information Center.

To apply, go to www.gcac.org/fest or call the volunteer hotline at 614.221.8072. Each shift involves a four-hour commitment. Each volunteer receives an event T-shirt and is registered for a raffle prize.

WORTHINGTON ARTS COUNCIL SEEKS PROPOSALS FOR 2008 “PROJECT GREEN” PUBLIC ART INSTALLATION The Worthington Arts Council is now accepting proposals for Project Green, a public visual arts installation to celebrate the spring groundbreaking of the Peggy R. McConnell Arts Center of Worthington. In addition to serving as the Art Center’s inaugural art piece, the selected installation will be centered around the theme of sustainability and will effectively communicate that message in its materials or message. All artists over the age of 18 are eligible to apply. The chosen artist will receive a $1500 honorarium and the opportunity to display their artwork in a highly visible location.

“Project Green” is made possible through a Neighborhood Arts Partnership grant from the Greater Columbus Arts Council, and the generous sponsorship of Park National Bank.

For more information, please visit our website at www.worthingtonarts.org to download the complete Call for Proposals.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 7

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

8 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

A S TAN D- UP PO LITI CIA N GENERAL GAYETY

by Leslie Robinson

Politicians make us laugh all the time. In the case of one state representative, it’s actually deliberate.

Jason Lorber represents the city of Burlington in the Vermont legislature. His profession is stand-up comedy. He’s also openly gay.

I’m guessing the guy is rarely short of material.

A recent Associated Press profile explains that Lorber performs stand-up, runs improv workshops and produces comedy shows. This can’t be an easy career in a state with no comedy clubs. Like being a lumberjack in the Sahara.

Lorber has duel passions for legislating and performing. “Politics is about changing society and trying to make the world a better place.

And performing makes me feel so alive. I love the creative aspect of it,” he says.

Though he resides in the Green Mountain State, Lorber, a Democrat, grew up in California. This provides more grist for his humor mill, as he eyes Vermont with an outsider’s perspective.

Basically he has no choice but to comment on the frigid Vermont winters. The AP story doesn’t say, but I assume he also has in his repertoire jokes about maple syrup, fall fo-

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

liage, tourists, cows, Ben & Jerry’s, skiing, Calvin Coolidge, flinty natives and über-liberal flatlanders who’ve emigrated to Vermont.

Regarding the locals’ affection for the good old days, Lorber kids, “I’m used to directions based on what street you’re supposed to turn on. In Vermont directions are based on landmarks that burned down 15 years ago.”

His own life is fodder for his humor. That’s a good thing. A comedian whose act is solely wisecracking about a state will likely be run out of it. Or at least be defeated at the polls.

Says Lorber about his personal life, “The thing about my partner is, he’s gay. Which I’m fine with. Growing up, I never pictured myself being with a gay guy. Now I’ve come to realize that I could never be happy being with a straight guy.”

I love it. And I’m sure some in his audience don’t get it.

Vermont was famously the first state in the nation to provide gay couples with legal recognition, in the form of civil unions. On an official state Web site, Lorber’s bio includes the information that his civil union partner, Nathaniel G. Lew, is a college professor. I assume Lorber wrote the bio, as it also says their son Max, a year-and-a-half old, “has not yet

State. Vermont’s motto, “Freedom and Unity,” could’ve been replaced with “If You’re Giving Gays Freedom, Wave Bye-Bye To Unity.”

Now Vermont is exploring the possibility of moving up to same-sex marriage. So far, reports the AP, the debate has been much tamer.

But it’s early yet.

It seems to me that a gay comedian in the legislature may be just the ticket for Vermont as it considers granting gay marriage. He can poke fun at himself to humanize gayness. He can reduce friction by making both sides crack up. When the tension is greatest, Lorber can unite the lawmakers by pointing out that life could be worse - they could live in New Hampshire.

declared his profession.”

Lorber isn’t all hearts and flowers about civil unions. Boston.com includes this Lorber quip: “I hate the term civil union. It sounds like a cross between a civil war and a labor union. We just call it a c.u. That way, if it doesn’t work out, it’s just ‘c.u. later,’ or a ‘c.u. in court.’”

Vermont’s civil union law took effect on July 1, 2000. The period before and after that date was a rancorous one in the Green Mountain

Leslie Robinson might steal some of Jason Lorber’s lines. E-mail Leslie at LesRobinsn@aol.com, and read more of her columns at www.GeneralGayety.com

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 9

TRANSNATION

by Jacob Anderson-Minshall

Our Right To Love Television’s newest dating show is no Shot at Love. There won’t be catfights or testicle eating contests on TransAmerican Love Story, a landmark program revolving around actress Calpernia Addams and her best friend and business partner, Andrea James.

Launching on Logo February 11, Love Story may be notable for featuring two trans women, but James argues it’s groundbreaking for an entirely different reason: the show’s suitors.

“They’re helping to eliminate the stigma and the mystery of who dates us,” James contends. “I have the utmost respect for each and every one of them for putting themselves out there in a way that most people who date us don’t have to, don’t need to and often don’t even want to.”

Before James joined forces with Addams she wrote advertisements in Chicago, and created the transition advice website, Transsexual Road Map (tsroadmap.com). But she admits, “I really felt like changing hearts and minds through the media was…the fastest way to make political change happen.”

After a decade in advertising, James cofounded Deep Stealth Productions (deepstealth.com) with Addams and moved to

Hollywood to create positive portrayals of trans people. An established voice coach, James starred in Finding Your Female Voice, and produced the all-trans Vagina Monologues featured in the documentary Beautiful Daughters.

The duo soon reaped the rewards of relocation. “Just being in L.A. and being sort of connected with various people who are making things happen…you start getting these unexpected calls - for instance, when Felicity Huffman called us out of the blue after seeing our voice stuff.”

That led to consulting with the actress for her Oscar-nominated turn on TransAmerica.

Deep Stealth also reviewed the script, and both James and Addams appear in the film.

They also produced the acclaimed short film Casting Pearls.

Her old career has helped James communicate in condensed and memorable forms. “Advertising really helped me…tell a story very quickly and in a way that’s going to resonate.”

“Dating is kind of like alchemy,” notes James, who dates both men and women. “It’s a strange magical mixture that you really can’t make into a formula. For me, the first and foremost thing is that somebody has to be

funny. In terms of sex, I certainly, very clearly, identify as female but - as far as sexuality goes, I resist those labels.”

Being trans in Hollywood, James maintains, is still very difficult. “There’s a long, long way to go. The only way you can chip away at those sort of monolithic stereotypic images…is to really get out there and do it yourself.”

But she believes significant gains have been made. “Our community is sort of emerging from what I’d call the noble victim phase of media depiction. Originally we were sort of ridiculed and now, it’s become a very serious thing. There have been a lot of procedural stories told about the transition process. One great thing about this dating show is that it shows the after…it’s not about the transition itself.”

James recently joined the board of Trans Youth Family Advocates, whose work she believes is vital for the next generation. “They really got me excited about some of the programs they want to do in the next year or so. I really think they’re poised to make a big difference throughout the country.”

James hopes that her achievements will serve as inspiration for others. “I’m hoping that I can present an example to people of what’s possible. Because I know I’ll only get so far. There will be others after me who will take it to the next level.”

Trans author Jacob Anderson-Minshall examines his transition from lesbian feminist to straight white guy in the anthology, Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex and Power. © 2008 Jacob Anderson-Minshall

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10 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 11

OUT BUSINESS NEWS

From Every Columbus Window

OHIO INSURANCE FRAUD SEMINAR MARCH 19

The 2008 Ohio Insurance Fraud Seminar will be conducted Wednesday, March 19 at Quest Conference Centers, located at 8405 Pulsar Place in Columbus. The hosts are the Ohio Department of Insurance, the Ohio Chapter of the National Society of Professional Insurance Investigators (NSPII), the Ohio Chapter of the Insurance Association of Special Investigation Units (IASIU), and the National Insurance Crime Bureau (NICB).

The day-long event will begin at 7:45a, with opening remarks from Ohio Department of Insurance officials. The seminar will continue with presentations and discussions about effective deposition and trial testimony techniques, interviewing techniques, the role of insurance company insurance fraud investigators, an update on key Ohio legal issues, healthcare fraud, and preparing fraud cases.

A seminar registration form is available on the Department web site at www.ohioinsurance.gov under the featured links section or by calling 1.888.677-4498. The cost is $100 for NSPII, IASIU, NICB members and Department staff, and $120 for non-members.

ENTERPRISE MAKES NEW MARKETS TAX CREDITS INVESTMENT TO CREATE UP TO 700 AFFORDABLE HOMES

Enterprise Community Investment, Inc., (Enterprise) announced a strategic investment of $9.5 million using New Markets Tax Credits (NMTC) to assist Columbus Housing Partnership in financing the construction or rehabilitation of up to 700 affordable homes in Columbus, Ohio, over seven years. Investing with Enterprise in the project are national corporate partners Nationwide, Huntington Bank and World Financial Network National Bank, a subsidiary of Alliance Data, along with the City of Columbus and the Affordable Housing Trust for Columbus and Franklin County.

The homes will be developed by the Columbus Housing Partnership (CHP) and its Homeport division, and the Central Ohio Housing Development Organization over a seven-year period and will include targeted communities in central city neighborhoods. Total development costs could exceed

It’s a drab, windswept day as I point my car south toward the Brewery District. The familiar red brick of German Village spills out before me, welcoming me like an old familiar friend.

Days like this, when business draws me from one corner of Columbus to another, offer a welcome chance to soak in the panache and resolve of our proud city.

Every day, Columbusites invite me into their homes. They come to me ready to invest in new windows. In living rooms and around kitchen tables, I find daily renewal of my faith in people to build a community.

In the Short North, the young and young-atheart infuse imagination and energy into the streets on which we walk. The homesteads of Franklinton remind me of our hard-scrabbled determination, so uniquely Midwestern. And in Olde $80 million. Other sources of financing include local subsidies, which are critical to making the project feasible.

This development will partner with the City of Columbus’ Home Again initiative to improve city neighborhoods and increase homeownership opportunities. With more than 4,100 vacant homes, the Home Again program seeks to rehabilitate vacant properties for productive use, facilitate homeownership and prevent the decline and disinvestment in city communities.

The $9.5 million investment utilizing new markets tax credits will be loaned to Homeport and the Central Ohio Housing Development Organization to be “recycled” throughout the seven-year NMTC compliance period, during which up to 700 homes will be constructed or rehabilitated over seven years. Proceeds from home sales will be used to finance the next set of homes until loan maturity.

The NMTC program is administered by the U.S. Treasury Department’s Community Development Financial Institutions Fund (CDFI) to attract private capital investment into the nation’s low-income communities to help finance development projects, stimulate economic growth and create jobs. Enterprise is a national leader in affordable housing and community development, investing its $515 million in NMTC allocations in projects nationwide.

For more info visit www.chpcolumbus.org and www.enterprisecommunity.org.

DR. HEATHER RACHELLE WHITE RECEIVES LGBT RELIGIOUS HISTORY AWARD

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Religious Archives Network (LGBT-RAN) honors Dr. Heather Rachelle White as the 2007-08 recipient of its LGBT Religious History Award. Dr. White’s paper, “From Sin to Sickness: Pastoral Counseling and the Sex Variant, 1946-1963,” was selected by the review jury to receive this award.

Dr. White is currently an adjunct assistant professor in the Religion Department at Vassar College. The paper is a chapter from her dissertation, Homosexuality, Gay Communities, and American Churches: A History of a Changing Religious Ethic, 1947-1977,” which she successfully defended in August, 2007, at Princeton University. White was a history major as an undergrad at Eastern University in Pennsylvania. She went on to Princeton Theologi-

Towne East, an architectural collage still in progress reflects our city’s own patchwork identity back upon us.

See, whether you settle in Columbus or grow-up here, you are inevitably transformed. The city becomes you. You become Columbus.

The fabric of this town is a brightly colored tapestry woven of American entrepreneurship and immigrant hope, of civic responsibility and unshakeable resolve. We are a city of builders, makers, thinkers and doers. And the nation looks to us as a model.

Forbes magazine ranked Columbus among the top 100 places for business and careers in July 2007. Money magazine has ranked our city the 8th best city in which to live. We’re among the most diverse, most cultural, most investment friendly cities nationwide.

Even as a worried nation searches for answers cal Seminary, enrolling in the M.Div. program, considering work in church ministry. In the process of earning that degree, she directed her interests to research and teaching.

Her grad school research interests began at the intersection of history, religion and sexuality in colonial America. After consulting with other LGBT historians and being encouraged to address these issues in a more modern setting, she turned her attention to homosexuality and Protestantism in the post-World War II U.S. She began her research with the Council on Religion and the Homosexual, founded in San Francisco in 1964-65. Through this research she learned about the George W. Henry Foundation in New York and other pastoral counselors who were proposing–in the 1950s–that nonjudgmental regard rather than moral condemnation was more helpful for their homosexual clients.

White indicates that this was the most fascinating part of her research–uncovering the significant work that was done to integrate the social sciences with a religious understanding of and moral approach to homosexuality long before Stonewall (1969) and the gay liberation movement.

Dr. White’s dissertation is currently under review by publishers with the tentative title, Mainline Protestants and the Rise of Gay Rights. This book will argue that Mainline Protestant churches have played an influential role on all sides of the controversies over gay rights, providing not only powerful opponents, but also early supporters, visible gay leaders, and public forums for discussion. Her ongoing research interests include a more in-depth look at early Christian conversations about the morality of homosexuality in relationship to scientific research on sexuality. She is also interested in the linkages between media technology and organizing in queer religious communities, including the emergence of queer religious communities on the Internet.

Dr. White will receive the LGBT Religious History Award and its cash prize at a dinner on Saturday evening, May 31st, in Philadelphia. More details will be available on the www.lgbtran.org web site.

Submissions for next year’s LGBT Religious History Award must be postmarked or received electronically by October 17, 2008. Complete information on submission guidelines for the award can be found at: www.lgbtran.org/historyaward.aspx.

in an uncertain economy, the people of Columbus pour themselves into improving their homes, their workplaces, and their city.

In 1986, I fell in love with the window business.

I’ve helped thousands of Columbus homeowners bring new vitality to their homes, much as they have brought vitality to our city. Their renewal is our renewal.

As I head home from German Village, I realize it’s not windows that I love, but what we see through them. From every window in Columbus, you’ll see a proud, vibrant city brimming with heritage and hope.

Daniel Wolt is founder of Zen Windows. For information about the company, contact Daniel at 614.939.4936 or www.zenwindows.com.

LGBT PROFESSIONALS TO RECEIVE NATIONAL AWARD RECOGNIZING THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE FIELDS OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

The National Association of Gay and Lesbian Scientists and Technical Professionals is delighted to announce the winners of the GLBT Scientist, Engineer, and Educator of the Year award at its annual award ceremony, sponsored by Raytheon and held during the American Association for the Advancement of Science Annual Meeting. Honorees will receive the only award of its kind for their ground-breaking achievements in a variety of areas, including defense technology.

The NOGLSTP Recognition Awards were established as a means of identifying, honoring, and documenting the contributions of outstanding GLBT science, engineering and technology professionals, as well as corporations, academic institutions, and businesses that support GLBT professionals in the fields of science and technology. Recipients include: 2008 GLBT Scientist of the Year: Arnold M. Zwicky, Ph.D.: As an openly gay linguist, Dr. Zwicky has been an excellent role model for his students and colleagues. Dr. Zwicky is currently a Visiting Professor of Linguistics, Stanford University and a Distinguished University Professor Emeritus of Linguistics, Ohio State University and has authored over 120 professional publications in his long and distinguished career.

2008 GLBT Engineer of the Year: Michael J. Steinberg, M.S.: Mr. Steinberg will be awarded for his outstanding technical achievements and leadership as an out, gay engineer in the defense industry. His research and development work over the last 22 years at Raytheon Missile Systems is highly classified state-of-the-art and is of great importance to the United States Department of Defense.

2008 GLBTA Educator of the Year: Michel Falk, Ph.D.: Dr. Falk is currently an Associate Professor of Materials Science and Engineering and of Applied Physics at the University of Michigan. Throughout his distinguished studies and 10-year academic career, Dr. Falk has been open and out in the LGBTA community both on and off campus serving as a role model for diversity, an exemplary educator and a leader to his students, colleagues and community.

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 13

INSIGHTOUT

by Regina Sewell

Living Life with Passion (part 2) In part one of this column, I helped you explore the roles you play in your life that drain your passion for living and helped you consider how you might let go of or at least manage those unsatisfying roles.

In part 2 of this column, I’d like to help you tap into your creativity so that you can live your life with passion and feel really alive. As before, it’s helpful to think about the roles that are the most important to you. Make a list of the roles you’re in that take up most of your psychic space. They may be the roles you spend the most time playing, the roles you spend the most time wishing you could play, or the roles you spend the most time wishing you didn’t have to play. As before, these roles might be relationship oriented (like partner, daughter/son, mother/father, or friend), work or occupation oriented, (like president, pilot, or professional musician) or hobby or sports oriented (like artist, guitar player, or softball player). This time, the focus is on finding ways to bring life to the roles you chose to keep and to expand into roles you wish you could spend more time in. As you think about these desired roles, ask yourself the following questions.

• What would I do if I wasn’t worried about what other people might think?

• What would I do if I wasn’t worried about trying to pay the bills?

• What would I tell my boss, lover(s), family, and/or close friends if I wasn’t afraid of being fired, rejected, or abandoned?

• What dream would I follow if the old tapes that tell me, “There’s no way you can do this”

stopped playing in my head?

• What would I do if I listened to my soul?

Let yourself sit with these questions.

Breathe and really let yourself have time to reflect on the answers. Once you’ve gone through the list and reflected on the truth that emerges, write your answers down so that you can keep your dreams in focus.

Once you’ve created a list of what you would do if…, ask yourself, “What keeps me from doing this?” Again, write down your answers – all of them. For most people, the two biggest barriers to taking steps towards changing the roles they play and the way they play them are the litany of “No’s!” that echo in their heads.

While sometimes the “No’s!” are based on practical reality, often the “No’s!” are rooted in the old tapes that we play in our heads and on our fear.

So, for example, if I truly listened to my soul, I’d become a full-time professional writer.

Yikes! There’s a scary one. And the “What keeps me from doing this?” list is pretty long.

There are several practical barriers to doing this, at least right now. I have a contract to teach. I have a growing private practice in counseling and it wouldn’t be ethical for me to walk away from either of them right now. More importantly, I like teaching and doing workshops and counseling and don’t want to give those up.

Another barrier: I like to eat and live in a house and the odds are against someone being able to support themselves just by writing.

Even Stephen King, who is pretty wealthy by writers’ standards, had a day job and struggled to make end’s meet before he finally got

something major published.

The list gets tricky here because this “No” is loaded. Sure, there’s a practical point, but it’s also connecting back to an old tape that has been playing in my head for years: “You can’t make a living by writing.” Clearly this is not absolutely true. A lot of people make a living by writing. It’s not necessarily easy, but it’s doable. The other part of this “No” is my expectation about how much money I really need.

Based on my current income and outflow of money, it seems like I need to make a significant amount of money to get by. Realistically, I know that I could save a lot of money by making my own tea instead of dropping by the local Cup O Joe’s coffee shop. I could also save a lot of money if I actually cooked from scratch instead of going out or dropping by the deli department at Wild Oats. These are some of the obvious empty holes in my checking account.

I’m sure there are more.

Another “No” on my list has to do with the excuse, “I don’t have time to write now.” But is this really true? If I’m honest with myself, I know that it’s not, or at least it doesn’t have to be. I have friends who have kids and work more hours than I do who still find time to write every day. The truth is that I haven’t set aside a set time to write every day and when I do sit down to write, I spend a lot time checking e-mail and surfing the Internet. I know that I’m running from the voices in my head that tell me that 1) Nothing I write is good enough, and 2) even if I were good enough, it’s impossible to get published unless you have the right connections. I also know that at a very deep level, I’m afraid that if I fail at writing, I will die. This fear drives both my inability to schedule time to write and my procrastination tac-

tics when I do write. Again, I can ask myself, “Is this really true? Will I really die if I fail?”

And the answer is obviously, “No.” It is at least somewhat comforting to know, rationally, that I won’t die if I fail, even if I fail miserably.

If you have really looked at your list of “No’s” closely, you are probably starting to feel a little anxious even as you begin to feel a bit relieved.

That’s normal. Breathe. What you are doing is warming up to change and for most of us, change is really scary. Remember, you don’t have to change everything at once. You can take baby steps. In fact, by acknowledging and exploring your blocks, you’ve already taken the first step towards change. A second helpful step might be to carve out time in your schedule to do what it is you want to do or do more of. A friend of mine actually got back into her dream of singing and playing piano by setting aside 15 minutes a day. Once you’ve built in at least a little time for your desired role(s), it’s really important to be gentle and give yourself permission to make mistakes. Most of us feel a bit anxious and awkward when we take up new roles, even when it’s something simple like becoming a barista at a local coffee shop. Allowing yourself to make mistakes will allow you to let go of the fear of not getting it right so that you can relax into who you are becoming. The more you can relax into the roles you wish to play, the more you can tap into your creativity and live your life with passion.

Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor with a private practice in Worthington, OH. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com .

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 15

FEATURE STORY

the royal treatment: Royal Renegades and the Drag Prom It’s Sunday, late morning. You’re just coming to after a raucous night. You yawn. You stretch. You rub the sleep from your eyes and try to wish away the leftover club music beating itself into a mild headache between your ears. But as you’re rubbing you notice splotches of a hard, syrup-colored substance stuck along your jowls. The patches run down the sides of your face next to your ears and around your mouth. You turn your head to the side to check the time on the alarm clock, and your pillowfacing cheek is suddenly poked with a thousand tiny barbed hairs. Your bedside table is littered with a mound of crumpled dollar bills.

Maybe you got lucky with a stripper. Maybe you went to an after hours party, won at poker, and proceeded to wrestled some Aunt Jemima from a cat.

But how to explain the sweat-encrusted Ace bandage still duct-taped tight around your chest?

Or the flaccid imitation penis atop the heap of clothes at the foot of your bed?

Maybe, just maybe, you’re a Royal Renegade. And maybe last night you once again heeded your troupe’s call – the call to Bring It! Who are the Royal Renegades? The Royal Renegades are Central Ohio’s premiere drag troupe, a diverse collective of entertainers who been rocking the socks off audiences since 2001!

But this city is a hub for drag. Heck, you can catch some sort of drag performance nearly every weekend ‘round these parts. What’s so special about the Royal Renegades? Well, for starters, their history. Founded by Jax Morrison (aka Reardon Kingsdale) and Christie Whisman (aka Johnny Kingpin), the Royal Renegades have been performing in and around Columbus since 2001.

Since their founding, well over 75 performers have graced the stages at their shows including Mark Martin, Jake Wakeman, Gavin Danger, Mason Dixson, Red Ryder and King Kush. The Royal Renegades have represented Columbus nationally and internationally, in cities large and small.

What else? They have been and continue to be actively involved in giving back to the community.

Each and every time they put on a show, the Royal Renegades sponsor a charity. They have raffled off prizes generously donated by local business and civic organizations to support a variety of organizations; their most recent show involved the donation of money and canned food to Project Open Hand.

No really, give it to me straight. I don’t know about “straight,” but the hard facts are this: the Royal Renegades take drag to a whole new level.

Much more than just women lip-syncing as men, these entertainers push the gender bending envelope. Touting themselves as Kings, Queens, and InBetweens, the Royal Renegades are into all types of gender bending, from burlesque, to high femme, to dance, to drag. The Royal Renegades promote diversity in race, gender, sexual identity, age, background, orientation…anything and everything, and they perform without any type of gender boundaries or rules, tackling topics ranging from the wacky to the serious to straight-up political commentary.

I don’t get it. What’s up with the sticky stuff on the face and the hairs on the pillow? Well, as any Royal Renegade will tell you, it takes a big sleeve to hold all those gender-bending tricks. For many the creation of real-looking facial hair tops that list of tricks. Although each performer has a her/his personal preference, a good number of Renegades

swear by Spirit Gum, an uber-sticky gel that starts out wet and ends up a crusty mess. But somewhere right in the middle – somewhere starting with curtains up and ending with curtain call – Spirit Gum is a Renegade’s best friend. Much like nail polish (which, based on its smell, must come from the same gene pool), Spirit Gum is most easily applied with a tiny brush. This sticky stuff holds the fine powder of chopped up hair (real or fake) to even the rowdiest of Renegade faces, letting them create the aura of sideburns, ‘staches, and everything in between. In fact, on the list of items-that-when-gonemissing-send-screams-of-panic-throughout-the-dr essing-room, Spirit Gum and duct tape run a tight race.

What does a typical year in the life of a Renegade look like? Typically, the Royal Renegades produce three major shows a year at Wall Street Nightclub in Columbus – the first one in February often coinciding with Valentine’s Day, a second one in June to kick off Gay Pride weekend, and a third one on Halloween weekend. Scattered among these larger shows are smaller productions in the spring, late summer, and holiday season at venues such as Garrett’s Saloon and East Village. They are also often invited to perform with other troupes in cities near and far. And of course they always make an appearance at the International Drag King Community Extravaganza (IDKE) in October. This past year they traveled to Vancouver, B.C. for IDKE 9.

I think I’ve heard of IDKE… That’s because it started right here in Columbus! The First IDKE took place on October 15-17, 1999 in Columbus, Ohio. It was founded by Julie Applegate (Jake), Shani Scott (Maxwell), Sile Singleton (Luster/Lustivious de la

Virgion) and Donna Troka (dj love), in conjunction with H.I.S. Kings, Fast Friday Productions, the Kings Court, and many other Columbus community members. It was a first-of-its-kind event in that is was a collaborative, non-competitive gathering of drag kings, their fans, and the people who studied, photographed and filmed them. In October 2003, IDKE 5 realized its true potential as a traveling annual conference with its move to Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Since then it has taken place in Chicago, Winnipeg, Austin, and Vancouver. Participants come from across the United States, throughout Canada, as well as from such places as Australia, Japan, Ireland, and England. The best news? IDKE is returning home to Columbus in October, 2008 for its 10-year anniversary, and the Royal Renegades will be joining other members of the city’s drag community to make sure it’s a massive success.

What goes on at IDKE? Are there classes/workshops? Booths? Marketplace? Schedule of events? IDKE, the International Drag King Community Extravaganza, is the largest and longest running gender-bending event around. It is a four-day event including a conference, film festival, art show, youth/family stage, and global talent showcase.

IDKE brings together all members of the drag king community, including but definitely not limited to performers themselves. And it truly is international in nature, having been hosted by cities in the U.S. and Canada, and drawing participants from as far away as Japan and Ireland. It began right here in Columbus, OH, and we are proud to say it will celebrate its 10th anniversary in 2008 with a return trip home!

IDKE includes a Conference component where FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

16 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

Royal Renegades: The Cast Name: Kristyn Drag Name: Topher Wright (sometimes RR Venue Coordinator, sometimes RR Pool Boy…your basic utility infielder) Character Inspiration: Anyone with good facial expressions inspires me. Topher communicates best with his eyebrows and head tilt.

Why drag kings rock: Drag kings rock for a million different reasons, but I personally thing we’re most entertaining and genuine when we’re not taking ourselves too seriously.

Best known for: Stenciled sideburns, numbers involving TV trays, the drag face Name: Becky Drag Name: The Reverend Roy Rogers (Promotions Coordinator for the RR’s) Character Inspiration: A somewhat bizarre combination of Elvis, Ron Burgundy, Wilford Brimley (for his cool ‘stache) and Chris Farley Why drag kings rock: Its incredibly fun to continually challenge yourself to find new and creative ways to get your audience excited— getting people to laugh is about the best feeling in the world!!

Favorite Columbus Nightspots: Wall Street because they do everything they can to support us. Mike’s Bar & Grill in the Short North for its jukebox and cheap booze.

Name: Michelle (Stage CoManager, along with Mz. Behavin’) Drag Name: Taylor Mayde Character Inspiration: every number is tailored for a particular character to come alive within that song (hence the name, Taylor Mayde) Name: Sabrina Drag Name: Femme Mystique Character Inspiration: Myself Why drag kings rock: They don’t, the burlesque girls do!

Favorite Columbus Performer (any vein) & why: Muzak because he said he was my favorite!

Name: Preston/PJ Drag name: Digga Blaze (RR Multimedia Coordinator) Why Gender Benders rock: It’s a way to be something that you aren’t in everyday life and perform various types of gender expression.

Favorite Columbus Performer (any vein) & why: Toe B. — he is always so funny on stage.

Drag Name: Miz Ginger Jones Character Inspiration: 1930s and 1940s Hollywood starlets such as Mae West, Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Barbara Stanwyk, Doris Day; Theda Bera who was a silent film star, (so the foremother, in a sense, of someone like Mae West) and Mary Pickford, who along with two men started United Artist studios, was a director and producer, and was one of the largest film stars during silent films and early talkies ...also, my late nana Georgia Jones who always, always, always had on lipstick and wore

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

black cocktails dresses, heels, little lace gloves and thin marabou feather boas out to dinner.

Why drag kings/gender performers rock: Performance allows us to question and push the boundaries of gender. It’s fun but important because it highlights the absurdity, restrictions, and playfulness inherent in gender and gender roles. Especially for the lgbt/queer community, gender roles and expectations are so different (and sometimes not so different) than in the hetero community, and I think it is good to highlight those differences.

Being outside of heteronormativity gives queers an especially good vantage point in which to question and challenge traditional roles and expectations.

Favorite Columbus Performer (any vein) & why: So hard because Columbus has many amazing performers! I can’t narrow it down to one, but here are few of my favorites: I love Noka Davers because she truly is a gender bender. Noka plays with the conventions of drag queens and then some (and I am jealous of her make-up!). Luster and Lascivous de la Virgeon for much the same reason. I appreciate anyone who will go from one extreme to the other, and well, Mr./Ms. de la Virgeon is hot on stage and just an all around amazing performer! And, I love Sexy Rexy and Lucas McCreamy because they always use humor to point out the ridiculousness of masculinity and gender norms.

Name: Ania Drag Name: Vincent Vellhung Character Inspiration: any 60’s or 70’s rock and roller, also Irish men with guitars :) Why drag kings rock: they’re fun and they are the hottest boys ever Favorite Columbus Performer (any vein) & why: Alexis Stevens - she is sexy, entertaining, and hilarious Name: Marcie Drag Name: Legs McFly Character Inspiration: Primarily myself and my assorted antics. Legs does everything Marcie would do on stage, with a little influence from Jim Carey, Neil Diamond, Davy Jones, Celine Dion, and Cher.

Why drag kings rock: They’re different, they’re funny, and a few of them actually sing.

Favorite Columbus Performer (any vein) & why: Alexis Stevens, Nina West, Leena De La Valentine 1.) They’re smart, hilarious, and creative. 2.)

They’re great with a mic. 3.) They’re not afraid of Spandex.

Name: Olivia Drag Name: Oliver Sax Character Inspiration: A cross between Barbara Stanwyck, Fozzie Bear, and Buddy from Charles in Charge Why drag kings rock: Because gender becomes like play-doh in our nimble little fingers Favorite mustache: tie between handlebar and junior high semi-stache Name: Ronda Drag Name: Ronnie B. My Inspiration: to bring my high-energy game and be the best out there every single time Entertainer I admire: Justin Timberlake

participants have an opportunity to discuss relevant issues regarding drag and performance culture. Previous keynote speakers include Del Volcano, Jenny Terry, Leslie Ferris, S Bear Bergman, Si’le Singleton, Anderson Toone, Carlos Las Vegas, Bobby Noble and Leslie Feinberg. Last year’s IDKE in Vancouver, B.C. offered a generous mix of topics and subject areas, including, among others, the following:How to Promote Queer Performance; How to Dance Like a Boy Band; Drag King Community Oral History; Identifying Femme: Performing Across the Gender Spectrum; Circus Acro Balance; Intro to Acting; IDKE History; Transmen on King Stages; How to Produce a Big Ass Show; and Town Hall.

The conference component of IDKE also houses a vendor market where businesses, performers, and demonstrators gather in one area to share their knowledge, sell their products, and network with like-minded entrepreneurs and marketing representatives.

While we can’t give away any secrets, we can tell you plans are most definitely in the works for this year’s IDKE (did we mention it’s coming back home to Columbus?), and it’s going to be off the charts!

Does everyone perform? No, not everyone performs, but all those who do bring their best stuff.

IDKE’s largest entertainment show, the Showcase, is one of the biggest performance events of its kind in North America, and this year promises to be as equally diverse and exciting. Showcase is a threehour long event that has welcomed performers from across the United States, Canada, Germany, Japan, Denmark, Australia and the UK. It is nothing full of high energy, engaging, multi media cabaret acts. Performers from cities such as Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, Washington, Toronto, Nashville, St. Louis, Vancouver, and Winnipeg have made the show a perennial sellout.

Is it open to the public? If yes, in what ways?

IDKE is completely open to the public. Anyone can purchase tickets to any of the events. In fact, Saturday night’s showcase is often sold out!

When’s the next Royal Renegades show? As a matter of fact, it’s just around the corner, and it’s gonna be huge. Got some dyed pumps you’ve been dying to dig out of the closet? A boutonniere gathering dust on your tie rack? Well now you’ve got a reason to polish and primp! We proudly present Prom Reloaded: Fast Times at Wall Street High.

This is actually the second year we’ve done prom, hence the “Prom Reloaded” theme. We had our inaugural prom last year, and it was a huge success.

This year, it’s going to be even bigger and badder!

Prom Reloaded will encompass an entire night’s worth of events at Wall Street, starting with our show and culminating in a full-on prom until the bar closes. We’re guessing there will likely be a

handful of post-prom parties too How did the prom get started? Why have it?

We always have a show at Wall Street sometime in the vicinity of Valentine’s Day, and last year we really wanted to kick it up a notch and get the audience involved in a unique way. We decided on the prom theme for a variety of reasons, and at the top of that list is that it gives us and our audience members (queers, queeri-ish, and queer friendly folks) a chance to, well, finally have it our way.

Prom is such a rite of passage in our culture, yet it comes at a time in one’s life when everything is just kinda awkward, when you’re teetering that line between adolescence and adulthood (here, have a prom dance kids…put on your fancy duds and go out to dinner like mom and dad…but don’t drink! and don’t have sex!). And then you add to it the pressures that come with questioning your sexual orientation or discovering you’re not all that comfortable with the way your world is telling you to express your gender – pressures that many of us are all too familiar with – and it’s not exactly a recipe for “Most Memorable Night of my High School Career.”

So we thought we’d give ourselves and folks like us a chance to re-make that night in our space and on our terms, in a place where we are celebrated for being who we are and living how we live.

(Plus, let’s be honest, we look pretty sharp in tails and top hats…and stilletos…and strappy off-theshoulder numbers…and, well, you get the picture.)

And whaddya know?!? — people loved it! So we decided to revamp it into an entire night’s worth of festivities in 2008, and we are much obliged to Wall Street for being so amazingly accommodating.

We heart them. You know who else we heart? The incredibly talented, undeniably stunning Alexis Stevens – our Prom Reloaded emcee. We’re so excited to once again have her on our stage. She rocks!

Are there chaperones at the dance to keep things on the up and up? Ha! Of course! Though we think we’ve got the “up-and-up” thing covered, if you know what we mean.

Join The Royal Renegades for Prom Reloaded: Fast Times at Wall Street High @ Wall Street NightClub (144 N Wall St), an evening of drag followed by a real live prom, with music spun by Wall Street’s own DJ Michele Chaney. Come in prom attire and get your prom picture taken! Stay afterward for Wall’s Prom Dance - your threads just might get you entered in our Ugliest Prom Outfit and Best Retro Couple contests! Enter for a chance to win totally groovy raffle prizes, the proceeds of which will benefit Columbus musician Katie Reider.

Saturday, February 23. Doors at 8, Show at 9; $8 singles, $15 couples. Call for table reservations – 614.464.2800.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 17

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18 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

by Romeo San Vicente

KATH AND KIM TRY OUT AN AMERICAN ACCENT

KATHY GRIFFIN: THE SHOW REMAINS THE SAME

DRIVING CROSS-COUNTRY IN THE FAGBUG

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? CHAD ALLEN KNOWS...

Translating a hit show from another country can be tricky. For every hit like Queer as Folk or Ugly Betty, there’s a Coupling or a failed Absolutely Fabulous pilot that no one ever sees. But the hit Australian comedy Kath & Kim (a sort of down-market Ab Fab) has proven popular on U.S. cable and is a cult hit with queer audiences, so an American remake is on the way. Its pedigree is solid: Cool indie star Selma Blair (A Dirty Shame) and Saturday Night Live alum Molly Shannon will play the off-kilter pair, and the pilot’s being directed by Freaks and Geeks‘ Paul Feig. With the right creative tone and marketing (aka pandering to queer audiences), the finished product could be, like Betty, another gay household staple.

What happens when a Hollywood D-lister’s career rises to the level of a C- or B-lister?

That’s the burning issue at stake as Bravo greenlights a fourth season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Not to worry, however the self-and-everyone-else-deprecating comedian hasn’t suddenly started lunching with Renee Zellweger. But she’s seen her stock go way up since D-List began airing (even as her controversial Emmy win speech angered people who never watched the show in the first place), and has become the comic of choice among many queer fans. According to Griffin, the only thing that may change in the new season is the introduction of uniforms for her staff; otherwise, it’ll be open season on Hollywood, as usual. No matter what happens, expect hilarity to ensue when the new episodes air later this year.

A documentary film can spring up from the oddest of circumstances. Take Erin Davies’ experience. An Albany, N.Y., college student with a rainbow sticker on her late-model VW Beetle, she discovered that the car had been vandalized with the words “fag” and “u r gay” in red spray paint. Instead of having it repainted, she instead decided to hit the road and document her experiences on a 58-day cross-country tour. Called simply Fagbug, the resulting documentary does what more formal studies could never do - expose the enemies and allies of gay America by presenting everyday homophobia to random strangers and recording their reactions. The movie should hit the film-festival circuit sometime later this year, but don’t expect a coinciding trend in vandalized cars to gain much traction.

Gay men are known - sometimes correctly, sometimes wrongly so - for their love of actresses of a certain age. And while the cultural reasons for that connection are deep and plentiful enough for a book or five on the subject, the fact remains that the actors in question still need to work. So what better place for them to do their job than in a gaythemed project? Enter Margot Kidder (Superman), Sean Young (Bladerunner), and Morgan Fairchild (Flamingo Road), all of whom will have a new opportunity to entertain their devoted queer followings when they guest in two upcoming Donald Strachey mysteries, Ice Blues and On the Other Hand, Death. The films, starring Chad Allen as Strachey, have both wrapped and will feature at least one of the women - Kidder - in a lesbian role. Look for both to air later in 2008 on Here TV.

Romeo San Vicente only sees animated movies late at night, the better to avoid sharing a theater with children. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

ARTS

by Christine Shumway

The Life of An Artist Is Not For The Fain At Heart The life of an artist is not for the fain at heart. Though we see and hear them sharing spectacular, often breathe taking moments of expression – this is but the very edge of endless moments in humanistic reflection and hard work. And yes, it’s bloody hard work! Discipline is an intimate word to artists, from staying healthy so the body so it can do its job, to caring for each fabulous phrase – be it a place on the canvas or notation – an artists life in married to discipline.

On Saturday, March 8, at 8p Columbus native Derek Han will present a program of solo piano works in the perfect venue of The Southern Theatre downtown. (For just a few bucks you can park right across the street in the south end of City Center parking garage.) He will be playing works by Mozart, Beethoven and Chopin.

Playing these works is like landing a plane.

No two landings are the same. Perhaps a head wind tips the left wing, or the runway unveils a bump shortly after touch down, or every thing lines up and it’s smooth a silk. One thing is for sure, each landing requires utmost concentration and sensitivity to the situation. Maybe like playing, for example, Beethoven’s Pathetique.

Flight and music have much common ground: FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

soaring, breathless views, concentration, multi-tasking skills, solitude, physics…

Derek Han will play two Beethoven sonatas, Pathetique and Waldstein.

Playing Beethoven is the eponymy of human drama, for he moves the player and the listener through a plethora of emotion on any given page.

Often to the extreme.

One should play Beethoven when needing real emotional release.

Count Ferdinand von Waldstein, the names sake of Sonata no. 21 in C major, not only gave Beethoven the gift of a new piano in 1803, he encouraged Beethoven to travel to Vienna to study with Haydn to “receive Mozart’s spirit from Haydn’s hands”.

Fabulous that Han has programmed the Mozart Sonata in A major, K. 331, established

as Mozart’s’ most popular. It is the only one of his piano sonatas to open with a set of variations and end with the spicy color of Turkish military music.

The composer Chopin, born in Poland around 1810, is an incomparable genius of the piano who created a unique style of romantic keyboard music. Han will play two nocturnes, Nocturne in B-flat minor op. 9, no. 1 & in B major, op. 32, no. 1 and the Scherzo no. 1 in B minor, op. 20. Notice all three stay within the key feeling of “B”, but go from minor to major to minor in performance order. That will be an interest feeling and one worth paying attention.

Now we get close to home. Derek is an Upper Arlington High School graduate. His first per-

formance was with The Columbus Symphony Orchestra and his first piano teacher our very own George Haddad from The Ohio State University. How about that for a ‘coming home’ concert! Central Ohio can’t take all the credit though, for he also attended the Julliard Precollege Division in his high school years.

Now Derek Han rides the wave of a truly international career, both in recordings, live performances and associated artistic director for La Musica International Chamber Music Festival in Sarasota.

So as you sit back and let Derek Han’s masterful expression dance around the keyboard and into your hearts, remember this artist works extremely hard to make it look so easy, everyday. A gift for us all. Call Chamber Music Columbus for tickets: 614.267.2267 or www.CMColumbus.org Christine Shumway Mortine is founder of Columbus Bach Ensemble, a performer, a teacher, a pilot and a Trustee of Chamber Music Columbus, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. For more information, visit www.camaonline.org.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 19

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20 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

BOOKMARKS

Love Yourself First: 7 Ways to Have the Best Valentine’s Day Ever (Heart-Shaped Candy Boxes Not Required!)

Feeling cynical or depressed about Valentine’s Day? Don’t, says intuitive psychologist Susan Apollon. Instead, use it as an opportunity to explore the meaning of pure love...and create a life of peace and joy.

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and if you listen closely you’ll hear America heave a collective sigh of resignation (from the couples who must run out and buy obligatory gifts) and gloom (from the singles who feel like hiding sulkily under the covers). Yes, many people dread this seemingly benign holiday more than a trip to the dentist. But intuitive psychologist Susan Apollon says not to look at Valentine’s Day as an occasion for enforced “romance” or mourning for your dormant love life. Instead, think of it as a day to celebrate the existence of love itself - pure, authentic, unconditional love and all the rich rewards it brings.

“Love really isn’t about hearts and flowers and grand romantic gestures,” says Apollon, author of Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul (Matters of the Soul, 2005, ISBN: 0-9754036-4-8, $19.95). “It isn’t about who got who the best gift, or who has a partner and who doesn’t. Love is a way of living. And Valentine’s Day can be more than a reminder that someone loves you; it can serve as an affirmation that you are totally lovable, loving, adored, and special all year long.”

In other words, let Valentine’s Day be a day in which you focus wholeheartedly on your ability to give and receive love. You don’t need to have a spouse or romantic partner in order to do this. You can love your coworkers, your neighbors, your pets, the clerk at the grocery store - anyone and everyone - but especially yourself.

Keep reading to learn how to rev up your love quotient this Valentine’s Day: Commit to Unconditional Love: To You, From You. It may be a cliché but it is very, very true: until you love yourself you can’t fully love another person.

And too many of us beat ourselves up for not being thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough - and worse, we may even use the fact that we are romantically unattached (or in a bad relationship) to validate that low opinion. This is tragic, says Apollon.

Whether single or involved, it is vital that you truly understand the value of loving yourself unconditionally. Self-love is the key to achieving all other love and finding happiness in its many forms.

“There must be no conditions for loving yourself,” insists Apollon. “Being lovable and capable of loving is never about having a great body, a high-profile job, or tons of money. There are no strings attached to your adoring your whole self: body, mind, and spirit. There is only the need for you to view yourself as the exquisite miracle you really are.

Allow Valentine’s Day to be a reminder of who you are. Love yourself first, because you are your most significant other.”

Get High This Valentine’s Day - High Energy, That is! If you’re wondering what love really is, Apollon says, it’s energy. Everything is energy, in fact, and love is one of the highest energies. So, when you choose to become your own priority and love yourself unconditionally, you will vibrate at an astoundingly higher energy level. The result is that you feel wonderful and life becomes a delicious adventure. Your love for yourself enables you to walk with your head held high and your heart full and healed. You’ll feel grounded, centered, and stable - and these good feelings will affect those around you.

If you’re wondering how to reach that high level of energy, Apollon says the answer is simple: do things that feel good. You might buy yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers, for instance, or a nice pair of silk pajamas, or a day at the spa. Or place notes all around you that remind you of how loving and special you are...that you are a Beautiful Soul...and that you are loved. It may seem silly, but it works.

Breathe in Love - Not Just on Valentine’s Day, But Every Day. Apollon suggests that each morning and evening you take a few moments to focus on your breathing in and out - long, deep, relaxing breaths - with the intention of helping you shift to a higher energy. Visualize yourself breathing in loving energy from the Universe. See this flowing into every cell and feel the warm, loving impact.

“Picture the Universe, your own Soul, Higher Wisdom, God, or your angels being present for you and feel their embrace - the embrace of love,” she says.

“Sit with this and really feel the amazing warm, healing energy of this embrace. It is so powerful!”

Affirm and Visualize Love. Imagine that you are a half-inflated balloon. Most of us live our day-today lives in this love-less state of under-inflation.

Now envision your soul filling up with love. Affirm your worth several times a day by stating silently or out loud: I am love, I am lovable, and I am loving.

Your love for yourself enables you to feel the powerful energy of love even in your cells. As you make your affirmations, visualize these feelings of love permeating every cell of your being. You are love, and you deserve the joy of giving and receiving pure love.

Incorporate Your Own Strengths into Your Affirmations. You are a unique creation worthy of universal energy and love.

Everyone is blessed with different attributes and a great way to fill yourself up with self-love is to remind yourself of all your fabulous qualities. Practice affirmations about your own uniqueness that makes you worth loving. A few examples are: I am passionate, I am a great mother, I am ready to be loved, I give fabulous advice, and I am full of creativity.

Face, Embrace, and Replace Grief...and Practice Forgiveness. The energy of love does not mesh comfortably with the energy of anger, pain, guilt, and unresolved conflicts or issues, says Apollon.

Therefore, you must release any old grievances in order to vibrate on a higher energetic plane. Valentine’s Day should bring for you a reminder that we are all here for love and that love begins first with forgiveness of yourself and others who have in the past treated you poorly. Face your negative energy and acknowledge it. When you are ready, replace old grief with love and just savor the vast difference this shift makes in your life!

If you need a mantra to help you release the pain that holds you down, Apollon suggests you say to yourself: I love myself enough to let you go now. I choose to detach from carrying you around with me, weighing me down and disabling me from moving on and having a good life. I forgive you and I forgive me. I am truly sorry but I must let you go. I surrender you to the Universe. I choose to be free of any attachments that keep me from experiencing the peace and joy to which I am entitled.

Release Your Attachment to Your Vision of Prince or Princess Charming. If you spend Valentine’s Day hoping for an engagement ring, seething with resentment that your partner forgot that you prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate, or daydreaming about that knight in shining armor who will sweep you away from your dreary life, you’re missing the whole point of love. Your attachments to an ideal only set you up for a fall when perfection fails to materialize. Remember, says Apollon, that real love (for yourself or others) doesn’t come with conditions. When you love unconditionally, you don’t need anything in return.

“We feel happy, we are lighter and unburdened when we release our expectations,” asserts Apollon.

“Don’t spend Valentine’s Day hoping for roses, romance, or a note from a secret admirer. And married folks and those with partners need to realize that the person you love is not responsible for meeting your checklist of expectations for happiness. Instead put your focus on sending loving energy to everyone you know this day and every day. It will clear the metaphorical haze around you, so to speak and for the first time you will see and feel all the love you need.”

“Too many people use the fairy tale illusion of living happily-ever-after to define their inner worth,” says Apollon. “Know that true happiness can’t come to you in its many forms until you are able to accept it. Love is all around you and will manifest when you finally learn to let it permeate your spirit, by loving yourself and exuding love to everyone you know. Remember that love is what connects and sustains us all and gives life meaning. Living lovingly feels so good, and when you make the choice to do this, each day can feel like the best Valentine’s Day ever.”

Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul (Matters of the Soul, 2005, ISBN: 09754036-4-8, $19.95) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers. For more information, please visit touchedbytheextraordinary.com.

NORTH MARKET RECIPES THE QUICKEST WAY TO THEIR HEART The perfect Valentine’s gift for your honey is to cook for them. What better place for recipes than the North Market Cookbook by Dispatch Food Editor, Robin Davis. Robin is a regular visitor to the North Market where she hosts a series of weekly cooking segments in the Dispatch Kitchen that air on WBNS10TV. During her time “on market”, Robin collected special recipes from merchants and farmers and compiled them in this unique publication along with her sage culinary advice and observations about Columbus’ only remaining and beloved public market. Gorgeous photographs by Ken Heigel graphically convey the colorful daily scenery at this Columbus instituFEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

tion. It will make the perfect stocking stuffer for your favorite foodie.

The North Market Cookbook will introduce you to the Market and the merchants and farmers who make it such an exceptional place. The book shares recipes from these folks who know best how to prepare the ingredients purchased here. Whether it’s a simple Almond Milk Smoothie, an exotic African Style Goat Stew, or a comforting Cinnamon Bread Pudding, you’ll find a unique and delicious selection of dishes that are sure to please family and friends.

“Davis has done a wonderful job of capturing the history, spirit, diversity and local flavor of our historic public market,” says David Wible, Executive Director

of the North Market. “This is not only a great cookbook, it’s a fabulous keepsake for any foodie or North Market aficionado.”

North Market Cookbooks will be available at the North Market business office and select merchants through the holiday season beginning Saturday, December 1. Cookbooks are $20 each with proceeds benefiting the nonprofit North Market Development Authority. The book comes as a 9x8-inch hardcover with printed cover and dust jacket. It is 128 pages long and contains 66 recipes and more than 80 color and historic photographs.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 21

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22 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

SHOPPING

Taking Control of Cupid:

by Mikey Rox

C-bus matchmakers share ten tips on making your Valentine’s Day the best yet

Cupid Ain’t Stupid: Valentine’s Gifts That’ll Getcha Some Rio Grande Let his package shine like the midday sun in swimwear by BoyRio ($39.99$54.99, www.boyrio.com). Pairing daring prints with flattering fits, this Arizona-based company’s concept draws on the exuberance of South American style, inspired by Brazil’s breathtaking beaches, to create fresh, distinctive designs that’ll make a splash no matter where he touts his tan. Aptly providing more coverage than the bemoaned bikini while leaving less to the imagination than standard square-cuts, these “sunga” style suits – like the scorching Carmen Racer in red – combine the spirit of summer with an athletic aesthetic guaranteed to turn up your temperature. The added bonus? What goes on, must come off.

Animal Magnetism The only time bestiality will be acceptable is when you’re sporting these new undies. Ginch Gonch invites all party animals to join in the hunt for the hump. This Spring, everyone’s favorite fun-derwear company unleashes their wildest collection of below the belt gear yet Jungle Fever ($26-$29). Ginch Gonch celebrates the battle for dominance with depictions of four of the most successful predators on earth today: the erect Eagle, the tickling Tiger, the playful Panther and the banana-loving Monkey. Whether you grrrr or prrrr; nip, paw, bite or lick, Ginch Gonch has the gear to help you make the kill. Go to www.ginchgonch.com for a store near you.

Live, Love, Laugh Add more dandy to your domestic partnership with side-splitting DVDs from Ariztical Entertainment (www.ariztical.com). On Kate Clinton: 25th Anniversary ($19.95), the veteran performer celebrates a quarter-century of queer comedy with political satire, witty one-liners, and celeb cameos by Lily Tomlin, Melissa Etheridge and Billie Jean King. Extras include one-onone chats with the legendary lesbian comedienne; “Kate on Katrina”; “Bushes and Dykes”; a backstage pass with Clinton and her partner of 19 years, Urvashi; and “25 years of Hairstyles.” For that gregarious guy, the third installment in Andrea Meyerson’s series on gay comics, Laughing FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

Matters… The Men ($24.95), combines stand-up with candid interviews of today’s most fagulous funnymen, including Bruce Vilanch, Alec Mapa, Bob Smith, Scott Kennedy, Andre Kelly and Eddy Sarfaty.

Save-the-Redwoods League delivers a commemorative card and photograph of an ancient redwood forest to the recipient to showcase the gift, and dedicated trees will support reforestation efforts in California. Until, of course, they all go up in flames. But, as Janet He So Horny Jackson would say, “That’s the way Set his heart – or at least his neck – on love goes.” fire with handcrafted jewelry by Cruz Azur (www.cruzazur.com). At 16-inches Heart Songs long, the Austin Smolka-designed Pour some wine and snuggle up to rosary with baroque cross ($75), sym- singer-songwriter Ron Morris’ bolizing life and health, is made of 925 Boyfriend and Other Sides of Love sterling silver, accented by a red resin (www.ronmorrismusic.com), an intistone at its center. The Italian horn or mate pop-folk EP that covers the five “cornu” ($90), intended to protect the facets of amore: loving, longing, wearer from the evil eye and bring laughing, loneliness and, of course, good luck, is 1.5-inches long by 1.2murder. The album’s eponymous first inches wide and die cast in red resin single hinges on the edge of hopeless topped with 925 sterling silver. True, romanticism while capturing the playthis isn’t what he picked out from ful waiting for a lover’s return with sevCartier, but what does he expect? eral incarnations, including remixes by Homo shouldn’t have Manhunted be- The Freemans, People Theatre, and hind your back.

V*I*R*G*O. Along with the title track, the disc also includes “Masterpiece of Baskit Case Why,” a preview track from Morris’ upThey say you shouldn’t put all your coming full-length CD, True Stained eggs in one basket, but what about Lies; a boys-will-be-boys version of the your balls? An amalgamation of the late composer Hughie Cannon’s classic all-over body tattoos worn by Japanese “Frankie and Johnny,” and a cover of organized-crime syndicate, The “We All Sleep Alone,” made famous by Yakuza, Baskit’s new Body Art line fea- the incomparable Cher. Which you tures low-rise briefs ($21) constructed probably know by heart. of 180gram cotton, while the Baskit Beauties boxer brief collection ($22Slim Fast Love $24), crafted from the same quality You and your loved one can indulge in material, pays homage to World War II- the taste of chocolate without the caloera U.S. Air Force bombers and their ries. Pamper your chocolate craving pinup girl-painted fuselages. Also with Mighty Leaf Tea’s Chocolate Trufavailable in ’08: A bronze-green boxer fle Teas, a collection of whole leaf loose brief with contrasting vermillion orteas infused with chocolate chips and ange trim ($18); a low-rise brief with cacao nibs. Choose from Chocolate white cotton body and mesh pouch Chip Truffle, Chocolate Orange Truffle, ($20); and the Lucky 7s swim bikini, Mocha Pu-Erh Truffle and Chocolate inspired by LeMans’ race cars ($34).

Mint Truffle. If you can’t decide which Gentleman, start your engines! one to choose, try them all with the Au Chocolate Tea Collection which inSpread Your Seed cludes six Chocolate Truffle teas, stainEnhance the environment and impress less steel tea strainer and six your sweetie by having a redwood Scharffen Berger chocolate squares. seedling planted in his or her honor. For This is the perfect and indulgent a donation of $50 or more to Save-the- Valentine’s gift to share with your Redwoods League (www.savethered- friends and family! woods.org), you can give a gift that’ll last more than 2,500 years as the Pretty in Pink League collaborates with California When you think Valentine’s Day, you State Parks to cultivate and plant your think of flowers, hearts, those cute seedling. Once germinated, the cards and one color – the color pink. saplings are then returned to the same This year, add some pink to your Valenforest from which the seed originated. tine’s Day coverage with the spirit of

the holiday: X-Rated Fusion Liqueur. No Valentine’s Day celebration would be complete without a fun, pink cocktail for the boys and girls! And it really doesn’t get more pink than X-Rated Fusion Liqueur, an exotic fusion of ultra premium French vodka & vibrant blood oranges from Provence, France, mingling with ripe mango and luscious passion fruit from Brazil. It is the first and only Fusion Liqueur, created with 100% pure organic fruit juices and ultra premium French vodka, blended to perfection.

X-Rated Fusion French Kiss 1 part X- Rated Fusion Liqueur 1 part X- Rated Vodka Splash of orange liqueur Splash of cranberry juice Squeeze of fresh lime wedge Slide Slide Slippedy Slide After the gifts and liquor, your date should be in the mood to take things to the next level. But the last thing you want is dry humping. Lucky for you KY Brand Intrigue ($19.99) will keep you lubed up for hours. This silicone-based lubricant is super-slick, long-lasting and never gets sticky. Plus if your traveling, you can take it on the plane and fulfill your mile high club fantasies as it’s only 2.75 oz - small enough to get through security. It also has an easy thumb operated flip top so you can fumble with your partner and not the bottle.

Perk Up Though not as exciting as joining the Mile High Club, American Airlines’ TrAAvel Perks program ($129, annually; traavelperks.com/home/rainbow.jsp) offers discounts on destinations anywhere the carrier flies. Savings include $400 on companion travel (flight savings are $100 per ticket with the required purchased of two tickets; members have access to this savings twice); 2,500 AAdvantage bonus miles; and discounts and special offers from program participants, such as Budget and Alamo rental cars, Samsonite, SkyMall, Ticketmaster, Wyndham Hotels & Resorts, and more. Just remember to pack lightly. You’ll want to preserve your energy for the many ways he’ll thank you.

Who is Mikey Rox? Who gives a fuck! But you can visit him at www.myspace.com/roxmikey.

As February unfolds with all its red-hued glory, focusing on one’s own personal state of romance is hard to avoid. And, as many would agree, waiting for serendipity to strike or for Cupid’s bow to hit the target of your affection is hardly the best or remotely realistic way to amp up your love life.

Help comes to the rescue this holiday in the form of local certified matchmakers and owners of Columbus-based, Dating Directions, Susie Hardesty and Elizabeth Cobey-Piper. To make this Valentine’s Day extra-special, these love experts have compiled the following top ten tips to upgrade the most romantic day of the year.

The top ten Valentine’s Day tips include: 1) Do not procrastinate – Plan ahead to make it special. Make reservations and make your significant other feel like a VIP. 2) Do bring something special – A special day benefits from an extra-special gesture. A single stem of her favorite flower or a CD from his favorite band will show extra consideration.

3) Do not be ordinary – Valentine’s Day is not any other given day. It is a special day and deserves special treatment.

4) Do try something new – Special memories are made from special moments. Doing the status quo is a status no.

5) Do not forget to be appealing - Dress up.

Wear their favorite scent. Put effort in to looking special in a way you know your significant other appreciates.

6) Do exercise your romantic muscle – Give a special card with some hand-written, heart-felt thoughts. Original prose and poetry say things that Hallmark can not.

7) Do not exercise “the right to remain silent” – Conversation is both key to a good date and a good relationship. Think of topics to discuss before-hand to avoid awkward silence or covering the typical “how was your day” dribble.

8) Do be dazzling – Valentine’s Day is the day to pull out all the stops. Go overboard. Indulge.

9) Don’t be unappreciative – Show your date that you value their efforts, no matter how minor the detail. Your gratefulness is a gift in itself.

10) Do your research – Find out what makes your date tick. Ask friends and family members for ideas and pay attention yourself. Planning ahead will ensure a romantic and successful evening.

According to Hardesty, “My business partner and I have been in this business long enough to really know what is important in making a date extraordinary. The advice we give is tried, tested and true.” So, go ahead and take control of your inner cupid by paying heed of the above expert counsel. These expert ladies-of-love may not shoot bows and arrows, but their advice is dead-center.

Dating Directions, founded in 2003 by Susie Hardesty, is a premium matchmaking company specializing in coaching and connecting individuals with one another. In 2005 Hardesty was joined by now business partner, Elizabeth Cobey-Piper.

The two, who are both certified matchmakers, have propelled Dating Directions to be the top-rated, full-service matchmaking and date coaching company in Ohio.

For Information: www.datingdirections.com,

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 23

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24 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

INTERVIEW

by Ginger Harris

Actor-Writer-Director Ash Christian’s Fat Girls Worth Its Weight In Fun

‘Fat Girl’ Ash Christian: Persistence With A Vision In today’s Hollywood, it’s not uncommon for actors to have their hands in several aspects of the movie-making process, playing producer or director whenever they have the chance. Upand-comer Ash Christian is no exception.

Striking out on his own before he could vote, the 23-year-old native Texan has experienced, at a remarkably young age, about the varied facets of an actor’s life. He’s appeared in everything from film documentaries to commercials and has starred alongside legends like Tommy Lee Jones and John Waters, all the while keeping his sights firmly set on supporting and promoting his own creations.

At age 19, Christian wrote his first film, Fat Girls – now available on DVD – about highschool misfits on a quest to find their place in life and love. It went into production the following year and soon after was selected to premiere at the 2006 Tribeca Film Festival. It has since screened at film fests across North America, winning awards for concept and performances.

With a coolness and poise that belies the young talent’s rapid rise to prominence in “basically the hardest profession in the world,” Christian speaks reverently about the opportunities that have come his way during the pursuit of actualizing his life’s dream, offering a refreshingly positive outlook on the typical burgeoning actor’s often rocky road to getting work.

In a recent interview, the young star dishes about transplanting himself from Texas to L.A. at 17 years old; his recipe for perfect comedy; and accepting no substitutes for your true passions.

No matter what other people have to say about it.

Ginger Harris: To have moved alone at such a young age from Texas to Los Angeles shows incredible drive and passion, but to have met with the range of success that you have in just a few short years is a true testament to your talent and vision. Can you describe your early days on the West Coast?

Ash Christian: Thanks. I moved to L.A. alone when I was 17 and got a tiny studio apartment in North Hollywood. Surprisingly, I wasn’t scared when I was in the middle of it. Maybe it’s because I feel older than I really am. Now I look back and I’m freaked out that I was alone at such a young age, pursuing basically the hardest profession in the world. I was inspired and determined. I had to show the people who thought I wouldn’t do it that I could and would.

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I got a manager when I got to L.A. and started going out on auditions and getting jobs within a few months of being here. I’ve supported myself as an actor/writer/director ever since. Success to me is being able to do what you love, and not having to do anything you don’t.

GH: In addition to your beginnings in community theater and writing, directing and starring in your own feature-length film, Fat Girls, you’ve starred in other films alongside bigname actors like Tommy Lee Jones and appeared in documentaries, commercials, and on network television. Which is your favorite?

AC: I love film. I think it is so real and amazing to be able to make your audience feel some emotion. I enjoy the money of television, and most of the shows I have done have been pretty great. The experience on such a great show like Six Feet Under was amazing and something that I’m very proud of. Commercials are a great way to pay the bills and be able to make the films I want to make.

GH: San Francisco Station had this to say about Fat Girls: “Pain and discomfort has rarely been so amusing.” Interestingly, none of the characters in the film ever seems to internalize the abuse he or she receives from the opposition, opting instead to either brush it off or retort with equal sarcasm, much to the delight of the viewer. Is Rodney’s signature deadpan style something you had to practice, or do you use the same kind of straight-faced humor in real life?

AC: I was a lot more biting and sarcastic when I made the movie. That was me when I wrote the film. I was totally deadpan – sort of feeling totally dead. I’ve changed since I wrote the film. I’m pretty happy with life and pretty darn cheerful now. There’s a lot to be happy about.

GH: This film has a stream-of-consciousness feel at times, mainly during freezeframes and bits of inner monologue. This gives the impression that you put a lot of effort into “collecting” perfect accents and transitions: an awkward silence, a well-placed cuss word.

With regard to the writing process, would you say that the material for Fat Girls has been building through the years to become the 82 minutes it is today?

AC: Absolutely. A lot of the things Rodney faces in the film are things that I faced growing up. I thought back during writing and would make notes of funny things that happened and that could happen to these characters I grew to love while writing. Pacing was a

huge thing during editing. Comedy is all about timing to me. It’s funny to see how a beat added to a comedic line can take the audience from chuckle to gasping for breath because they’re laughing so hard. My payback is when I make the audience laugh. I love that sound.

GH: Rodney is every high-school outcast’s champion, remaining incredibly cool in spite of being pranked and scrutinized by his peers.

How close was your adolescent experience to his in the film?

AC: I wasn’t quite as secure as Rodney growing up. He sort of just deals with people treating him like a piece of dirt and moves along. I was very sensitive growing up, and the things people did and said really hurt me back then. I’ve since grown a pretty thick skin. I realized these things people say are just words – and something that I have no control over and never will. I just have to do what’s right for me.

GH: Is the comically narrow-minded religious enthusiasm we see in the film indicative of the Texas you knew from childhood?

AC: Yes. I still know these people! They are in my family. I love them. I don’t blame them for their narrow-mindedness. They’ve never been out in the real world and they don’t understand. It makes me laugh – the religious stuff. It doesn’t make any sense to me that God wants you to hate someone. I refuse to believe or support anything that promotes hate.

GH: The soundtrack is a combination of well-placed rap numbers and an assortment of indie-sounding rock, with several songs by a band called The Adored. Is this a favorite band of yours?

AC: I love The Adored. They are a cute, little band out of Boston – made up of cute highschool boys. I saw them in concert in New York and put them in the film. Their style fits the feeling of Fat Girls perfectly.

GH: Your Web site mentions that MTV Networks picked up Fat Girls as a pilot and hired you to oversee production on a series. Will we see Fat Girls: The Series in the near future?

AC: Yes, they did hire me – and paid me! We did the pilot, but they decided not to pick it up because it didn’t fit their demographic. I guess they’d rather have shows like Pimp My Ride and My Super Sweet Sixteen to contribute to our youth’s outlook. Ah – was that bitchy? I didn’t mean it to be! Honest.

Ginger Harris is an intern at Baltimorebased Line/Byline Communications. She can be reached at gpharris@roanoke.edu..

It’s a scene with which everyone is familiar: finding your place within the high-school hierarchy. And that task can prove daunting when you march to the beat of a different Broadway score.

Fat Girls – the debut film of actor/writer/director Ash Christian, now available on DVD – follows two adolescent outcasts, Rodney (Christian) and Sabrina (Ashley Fink), as they deal with critical teenage peers while searching for the perfect date to the muchanticipated Graduation Dance. As can be expected, it’s anything but easy in a world where your friends are few and you’re under siege at every turn. But in spite of the opposition, the duo meet kindred spirits in unlikely places, from an understanding teacher to a surprising pair of fellow students. Along the way, however, Rodney and Sabrina discover that the most important people they needed to find all along were themselves.

Breathing new life into the coming-of-age concept – set in the awkward atmosphere of high school – Fat Girls expands the trials of “fitting in” to the characters’ families and ventures in love.

Meeting the parents and defending those you care about from the prejudices of others are situations that audiences are sure to identify with, and even heavier issues like homophobia and bullying are handled with tasteful yet incredible humor.

For a film that deals with so many touchy subjects (the title alone indicates the use of some serious self-deprecating humor), the severity of the scenes is offset by impeccably placed comic relief. For example, the ironic details of Rodney’s father’s demise are a riot and come at a point in the action when lesser comedy would fail to bring the overall lightheartedness of the film back from the depths into which it had settled. Additionally, the soundtrack – the rap numbers, in particular – contributes nicely to the well-timed transitions that make each scene flow effortlessly into the next.

Under Christian’s direction – he wrote the filmed at age 19 and had it green-lighted before his 21st birthday – Fat Girls also captures the kitschy religious fanaticism of small-town Texas in a blithe manner that’s actually, wait for it, funny.

“I know these people!” says Christian. “They are in my family. I don’t blame them for their narrow-mindedness. They’ve never been out in the real world and they don’t understand.”

An example of Christian’s liberal use of art imitating life is the character of Rodney’s mother, a devout woman with hair and makeup reminiscent of a 1980s New Wave band. She keeps an electric Nativity scene lit up in the front yard year round and continually quotes radical Bible passages at inappropriate times.

Fat Girls is irresistibly witty, and it will leave you with a serious want for what this spirited and original performer has in store next. And you can bet it will be nothing less than absurdly comical because of Christian’s knack for knowing exactly what to add (or leave out) to make a scene burst with hilarity.

“Comedy is all about timing for me,” the 23-year-old Christian explains. “It’s funny to see how a beat added to a comedic line can take the audience from chuckle to gasping for breath because they’re laughing so hard. I love that sound.”

Loaded with special features, including cast commentary and photo galleries, Fat Girls is a feel-good film for those who know what it’s like to feel like a stranger in your own skin. Or have an abundance of it.

Ginger Harris is an intern with Baltimore-based Line/Byline Communications. She can be reached at gpharris@roanoke.edu

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 25

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 27

CLASSIFIEDS

REVIEWS

by Danielle Buckius

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

Juno: Creepy Popular?

Are you like me? Do you have problems with aspects of popular culture when they become too – well – popular? For example, I’m sure The DaVinci Code is an interesting read, but it creeped me out that it was on the New York Times bestseller list for hundreds of weeks and dominated every book club from here to the California coast. (It was only appropriate that Tom Hanks starred in the film version, since Forrest Gump was The DaVinci Code of the mid-90s.) The same with Napoleon Dynamite. It was fun and quirky when it was first released, but when I started seeing “Vote for Pedro” tee-shirts on both toddlers and adults in this fine city, the creepiness resurfaced.

Such was my apprehension when I finally saw Juno. It’s the film that everyone seems to love this year, which therefore makes me leery. It’s on all the best-of lists, it’s got Oscar buzz, even my discerning friends seem to like it. So I was skeptical. And, I must

admit, I was a little turned off by it-list screenwriter, Diablo Cody. Seriously? Diablo Cody?

But I’m here to tell you friends, it’s a good movie. Juno is played by Ellen Page, who has a great way of delivering teenage vernacular with the sarcasm you’d expect from a sixteen year old. She becomes pregnant after deflowering her best friend, Bleeker (Superbad’s Michael Cera), quickly decides that she’s “ill-equipped” for motherhood and seeks a childless couple to adopt the baby.

That couple ends up being Vanessa and Mark Loring (Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman), a suburban pair that seem the perfect choice to raise Juno and Bleeker’s child.

And that’s all I’m going to tell you. Any more plot points and I’d ruin it. Well, I’ll tell you this: Juno is surprising in its sweetness and delightful in its humor. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I guess I need to go purchase a copy of The DaVinci Code.

FLORAL BUSINESS 70-year-old family-run floral business for sale. Established clients, great location. Please call Mary McCarthy at Sunbelt Business Brokers, 614.734.8338, for more information.

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Call Michael to place your classified today!

614.268.8525

DENTIST We seek personable, quality-oriented associate for busy family practice. Daily salary. Dr. Michael Mann, 7043 Pearl Rd, Ste 210, Cleveland, OH 44130.

HOUSING/FOR RENT OLDE TOWNE EAST 1096 & 1104 Bryden Rd, 1 BR apartments available, new kitchen, wd flrs, vaulted ceiling, $450/mo.

More OTE rentals available. Call Beacon Property Mgmt. at 614.228.6700.

OLDE TOWNE EAST Two bedroom, gas heat, C/A, $650/month; also available, one-bedroom apartment in historic Four Square home. Pets ok with deposit. $370/month.

614.258.2298.

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

28 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

SEX TALK

by Simon Sheppard

Kidnap Fantasies

SPEAKING OF

The door opens. An intruder enters. He overpowers you, drags you away, and has his lascivious way with you. Sound like fun? It certainly does to some guys.

Observes one fellow who cruises online, “Every once in a while, I’ll run across an ad from someone who wants to be the ‘victim’ in a kidnapping scene. And I’m betting that a lot more men fantasize about it.”

Sick? Beyond the pale? Well, it’s safe to say that most of the men who’d like to be abducted don’t really want to be victimized. Rather, they’d like to be the central character in a carefully planned, dick-hardening drama - it’s the difference between riding a roller coaster and falling off a cliff.

“Kinky guys often have fantasies that could be viewed as antisocial, if you want to be uncharitable about it,” says one bottom who’s pretty twisted himself. “They can often be manifested verbally, like blurting out, ‘That’s it, rape my ass!’ But as long as it’s consensual, who cares?”

So why would a guy find abduction appealing? As with other outre obsessions, the lure of the forbidden can get a dude’s dick excited. And the tang of danger adds still more spice. “Let’s face it,” says one fellow with a flogger, “most of us lead rather uneventful day-to-day lives. One cool thing about consensual SM scenes is that they seem a lot more dangerous than they really are. They’re the proverbial walk on the wild side that so many of us crave.”

Consensual SM is built around the concept of the “power exchange.” Kidnap fantasies go beyond consent, though, and that prospect makes things less safe and more exciting. Stripped of both his clothes and his will, a supposedly kidnapped bottom would no longer be responsible for his desires, his pleasure...or anything else.

Plenty of edgy stuff can be successfully simulated. But a kidnap scenario is tough to convincingly act out. Says our fellow with a flogger, “You might think that most men would want to be the ones in power. But if you ask me, a kidnapping is mostly a bottom’s fantasy. Bringing off a kidnapping scene would be, after all, a major project for a top. If an SM master wanted to get a submissive under his control, why would he mess around with stocking masks and a rental van, when some rope and a few

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

knots would do the trick?”

Another top agrees. “I’d like to think I’d have power over a bottomboy because I’m so incredibly hot and commanding, not because I’ve slipped him knockout drops and locked him in a toolshed.”

No doubt about it - an abduction scene takes a whole lot more planning and work than a blowjob. And consensual “kidnapping” could should the police or nosy neighbors not be in on the joke - get the pretend-perps in plenty of trouble. At least one lucky “victim,” though, actually got the drama of his dreams. Says he, “For my birthday, my boyfriend and some pals arranged to rope and shackle me, throw me in the back of a panel truck, and drive me off to the woods for some outdoor fun and games. I struggled, sure, but not too much. And the candles weren’t the only things that got blown that day.”

Not everyone has such considerate friends, of course. Setting up a home invasion scene, maybe ending with a bit of bondage in the basement, is a safer alternative to a fullfledged spiriting-away. And most folks into kidnap scenes may just have to settle for flights of mental fancy or a bit of verbal violation during sex.

There are, clearly, some things that no one who’s sane would want to experience. But in the realm of erotic fantasy, anything goes. If the idea of abductions gives you a big boner, be assured you may be on the kinky side, but you’re not alone. Being brought down to an animal level does have its attractions.

If you want to be the one who gets snatched, though, don’t be surprised if it’s less than easy to find an obliging top man to realize your fantasy. And, whichever role you relish, don’t confuse raunchy roleplaying with acceptable reality.

Be careful who you play with, and how. Set things up in advance, and do it wisely. And remember - genuine abduction is a serious offense, and the kind of dates you’d get in jail may not be quite what you had in mind.

Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at SexTalk@qsyndicate.com. Visit Simon at www.simonsheppard.com.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 29

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage

I hope you can help me. I am a 39-year-old divorced mother of four. I’m also a grandmother.

I’ve started seeing a younger man, age 25, who is only a few years older than my oldest kid. We hit it off great and other than the sex, everything is beautiful. The problem is that my sex life with my ex-husband of 20 years was very free.

We did everything from toys to bondage to watching porn together to three-ways.

My new guy is not happy that I have a collection of toys or that I watch porn, have been to strip clubs, etc. He likes “regular” sex and he refuses to use toys or do anything in the adventurous realm. How do I even talk with him about what I like without scaring him off? I love being tied up and spanked! Plus he has never done oral and doesn’t even want to try! HELP!!!

Frustrated GILF In Minnesota You’re not gonna get what you want - excuse me, what you deserve, Grandma, what you have a right to demand and expect - from this boy if you’re not willing to risk scaring him off.

Considering his age, FGIM, it’s possible that your boyfriend, during his very recent childhood, was locked in a classroom with a sexually repressed idiot who “taught” him that sexual ignorance is a virtue and that a limited sexual repertoire is pleasing to Jesus. They call it “abstinence education,” and it induces a kind of sexual imbecility (as well as leading to higher rates of STI transmission, teen pregnancy, and American Idol auditions).

Now you, Grandma Hoses, are going to have to undo the damage done. You will have to “school” him, as the young people were recently saying. Sit the boy down and tell him that you’re older, wiser, and more experienced, and that you intend to drag his butt up to your level, not allow him to drag yours down to his. Tell him exactly what you like, tell him exactly how you like it, and make sure he understands that you’re not interested in being with someone long-term who isn’t interested in meeting your needs.

You have leverage here, FGIM. Use it.

Gay here. The BF and I have a modestly open relationship - three-ways once in a while, oneoffs very rarely. It spices up the home life and reinforces trust, blah blah blah. So, the BF was visiting the folks the week between Christmas and New Year’s. We’d both agreed to have a one-off that week and share the juicy details when he got back. Saturday night, I had this guy over and we fucked like crazy. The BF got home Sunday, and we had a sexy time reviewing the juicy details of our respective indiscretions.

Monday (New Year’s Eve), I was chatting with our neighbors. They’re crazy, tequila-loving Texans, and liberals in most respects - except, they’ve hinted, where sex is concerned. So, they asked how the BF and I were doing, and when I mentioned that we were great - the BF had just returned from a 10-day trip - my neighbors’ demeanor TOTALLY changed. Their usually playful and friendly selves turned immediately to ice.

They didn’t say anything, but I realized what happened: They heard me and the one-off going at it and thought that I had cheated on my BF in his absence! I had, of course, but it was BFsanctioned cheating! They’ve been very cold to me since. We like them and don’t want to screw up our acquaintanceship over a silly misunderstanding! I’m usually very direct with people, but I worry that admitting that I cheated and that the BF was in on it will solve one problem and create another. We don’t want our Texans to think we’re a couple of perverts! Suggestions?

Sissies Love Understanding Texans P.S. They hear us go at it ALL the time. I should’ve seen this coming!

Straight Texans who aren’t bothered by the sounds of actual queers actually going at it, SLUT, won’t be destroyed by your nonmonogamous news.

That your relationship allows for a little outside sexual contact - safe outside contact, I hope may not delight them, being sexual conservatives and all, but the current state of affairs has to please them less than the truth would.

Can’t you see how unfair you’re being, SLUT? Right now, the neighbors think you’re a cheating

piece of shit and your boyfriend is a fool. So long as you allow them to go on assuming that you’re officially monogamous, they’re going to feel like unwilling coconspirators in your “infidelity.”

They’ve probably had more than one conversation about what, if anything, they should say to your boyfriend.

Leaving them in that position isn’t fair, SLUT, it isn’t neighborly, and they’re going to come to resent you more and more. There’s only one way out: The two of you - it can’t be you alone, because they’ll only assume they’re being pulled into another lie - will have to go and tell them the hole fucking truth.

Do you know any lawyers willing to take on a personal-injury suit concerning fisting-induced fibromyalgia? When I call local personal-injury lawyers here in Eugene, Oregon, they get all flustered.

Fisting Fallout “It is a little controversial whether fibromyalgia is a real disease at all or just a mysterious constellation of symptoms,” says Dr. Barak Gaster, Savage Love’s long-suffering resident medical expert. “Most mainstream doctors accept it as real, but it’s still in the slightly dubious category.”

Fibromyalgia’s constellation of symptoms includes fatigue, generalized pain, irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, and roughly 400 other complaints. But you fibromyalgia sufferers have arrived: There’s a new drug on the market with a goofy name (Lyrica), an annoying ad campaign (courtesy of Pfizer), and its own constellation of possible side effects (hives, difficulty breathing, swelling of the tongue, dizziness, sleepiness, blurred vision, etc.).

But fisting-induced fibromyalgia? Maybe skidmarkalgia can be induced by fisting, FF, but not fibromyalgia. “That would NOT be considered credible in any real way whatsoever,” says Dr. Barack. You may have fibromyalgia, FF, and you may have been fisted before your diagnosis, but there’s no relationship, and no personal-injury lawyer is going to take your case.

We wanted to let you know that we appreciated your recent remarks condemning bestiality. We agree that it is wrong, wrong, wrong for the very same reason that you pointed out - the issue of consent. However, we don’t agree with your advice that zoophiles should “get a tall fence.” The zoophile who wrote you desperately needs counseling and should in no way be encouraged to have any contact with animals.

Like the pedophile who claims to “love” children, zoophiles might profess their love and caring for the object of their sexual desire, but it is without real consideration for the psychological and physical well-being of their nonconsenting partners. A recent study shows that 96 percent of offenders who had engaged in bestiality also admitted to committing sexual assaults on humans.

You do a wonderful job of humorously and intelligently dissecting the psychosexual conundrums of those who write to you. We worry, however, that your readers will miss your point and take away from your column that bestiality is acceptable when it is done behind “tall fences.”

Colleen O’Brien Director of Communications PETA Thanks for writing, Colleen, because I would hate for people to take away from that column you know, that column, the one where I told RUFF to go get banged by dogs behind “tall fences” that it’s in any way permissible for a human person to get, you know, banged by canine dogs behind tall, tall fences. I’m grateful for the opportunity to clarify my position. Which is con.

Because, you know, gross.

To read more letters - lots more - about my advice for RUFF, go to www.thestranger.com/savage/ruff. Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net

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30 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

ABOUT TOWN

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 24

JANE SEYMOUR & KIRK HERBSTREIT TO APPEAR AT HOME & GARDEN SHOW Guests of the Central Ohio Home & Garden Show, presented by National City, will have an exciting opportunity to meet actress Jane Seymour. She will appear on the At Home in Columbus Stage, presented

by Giant Eagle, at 11a-3p on Sunday, Feb 24. Most recently, Seymour has been seen on the hit TV show “Dancing with the Stars” and in a hilarious role in the movie Wedding Crashers.

In addition to her fame as an actress, Seymour is an accomplished artist and writer. She recently launched the Jane Seymour Home Collection, a new line of home decorative accessories, including lamps, bedding and home fragrance. She is the author of the home lifestyle book Making Yourself at Home. In it, she features her own home and offers readers ideas for transforming their house into a warm, welcoming home.

An award-winning actress, Jane Seymour has showcased her talents on the Broadway stage, in motion pictures and on television, blazing the trail for family-friendly programming with her Golden Globe-winning role as Dr. Michaela Quinn on “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.” In one of her first film roles, she was Bond Girl Solitaire in the James Bond film “Live and Let Die.” One of her most memorable roles was as Elise McKenna in “Somewhere in Time,” starring opposite Christopher Reeve. She recently co-starred in the comedy feature Blind Dating, directed by her husband, James Keach. Seymour’s appearance is part of the Home & Garden Show Talent Series, brought to you by Ohio Mulch.

Also on the ticket for all you Buckeye football fans is ESPN football analyst and former Ohio State Buckeye quarterback Kirk Herbstreit, who is scheduled to appear at the show on Saturday, February

23. Herbstreit will greet guests, sign autographs and pose for pictures.

Herbstreit will appear at the National City booth from 11a-12:30p on February 23. A graduate of The Ohio State University, Herbstreit is well-known on the college football scene as a commentator on ESPN’s College Football GameDay, on other nationally televised sports programs and locally on Sports Radio 1460 THE FAN. The Central Ohio Home & Garden Show offers nine days packed with special events and attractions for all ages. Featuring ongoing, informative cooking, gardening and home improvement seminars daily, the show also presents the hottest trends in gardening, décor and home improvement. More than 400 exhibitors and attractions showcase the latest in home and garden design, accessories, tools and services. A show highlight is the Scotts Garden Showcase, a 25,000-square-foot indoor garden display. This year’s theme, “Storybook Gardens,” challenges 15 area landscaping firms to bring such classic stories as “Jack and the Beanstalk,” “Three Little Pigs,” “Alice in Wonderland” and “Noah’s Ark” to botanical life.

The Central Ohio Home & Garden Show opens Saturday, February 23, and runs through Sunday, March 2, at the Ohio Expo Center. Hours are Saturdays 10a-9p.; Sundays 11a–6p; Monday, Tuesday and Thursday 4p–9p; and Wednesday and Friday Noon– 9p. The Central Ohio Home & Garden Show is the National Association of Consumer Shows’ 2006 Consumer Show of the Year.

Tickets are $10 for adults. Children ages 12 and younger are admitted free. Additional information is available at dispatchevents.com.

COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: MARCH 11, 6P-8P; LOCATION: East Village (630 N High St): Rock, drag, & network • www.networkcolumbus.com FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 31

fin

THE LAST WORD

by Mickey Weems

The Rose Roses are one of our strongest symbols for love, and since love includes the noble, the scandalous and the sexual, it is no wonder that there is a connection between the rose and noble, scandalous sex including Gay sex.

Noble Lesbian icon Gertrude Stein once said that civilization begins with a rose. She may not be wrong.

The rose has been around for a long, long time.

Roses are thought to have originated thousands of years ago in Iran, a country that is not known for being terribly scandalous when it comes to sex, but has a strong romantic undercurrent in its literature that links human love to the Divine. Varieties of roses are now grown all over the world, the oldest ones from Arabia, India, China, and (of course) Iran.

Most of the countries in the Middle East have rose gardens. Perhaps it is the ability of roses to grow in the desert that gives them such important symbolic value when it comes to love - this beautiful, fragile flower can thrive in the harshest conditions.

Roses are used in beautifying sacred spaces. The Kaaba in Mecca, holiest spot in the world for Muslims, is bathed once a year in rose-scented water from Mohammedi roses raised in Iran. It’s not just Arabia and Islam: when I visited the Persian-influenced Baha’i Shrine of the Bab in Haifa, Israel, its interior was anointed with the essence of roses. The smell is intoxicatingly beautiful, and definitely spiritually uplifting.

Roses as symbols of noble love, including the love of God, was transmitted from Muslim countries to Western European countries. They were especially favored in Spain, and offered to the Virgin Mary all over Roman Catholic Christendom.

Roses have been symbols for any number of noble causes, including the socialist movement, which has as its central principle the love of all people regardless of status, family, or wealth. Roses were miraculously produced in Mexico by Our Lady of Guadalupe to prove her affection for her Indian messenger, Saint Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin, the first indigenous Mexican to be canonized a saint by the Catholic Church in 2002.

If we move further south, we find the first saint of the Americas was Saint Rose of Lima, Peru. Her symbol as well as her name is the rose.

Scandalous As noble as it is to use the rose to symbolize socialism, it is also scandalous since socialism is also seen by many as dangerously revolutionary. In addition, When Our Lady appeared to Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin, she appeared as much an Aztec Goddess as the Mother of Christ. She spoke to him in Nahuatl, a Meso-American language. The roses she gave him, however, were Castilian roses, a Spanish variety, as if Spain were bowing to Mexico.

As for Saint Rose of Lima, she would inflict great pain upon her body in secret, including an excruciatingly painful crown of metal thorns around her head

that she would hide with roses.

The rose is a symbol of secrecy. It was the custom of ancient Greeks and Romans to set a rose in front of a door if the discussion inside was of scandalous things, or paint roses on the ceilings of banquet halls where people got drunk and did questionable things.

Roses are also carved on confessionals in Catholic churches, indicating that whatever is discussed in the confessional stays in the confessional. We still have a Latin phrase with us today: sub rosa, under the rose, something that was not to be spoken in public.

Sexual There is a legend associated with the rose in Greek mythology that explains why sub rosa means what it means. Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, gave her son Cupid (a.k.a. Eros, God of Sexual Desire) a rose with a command for him never to reveal that she once had sex with him.

Saint Rose of Lima was infatuated with the Virgin Mary. For her part, Mary would reach out to Rose from a painting on a church wall and physically embrace her. When Rose died, she wore a wedding dress. Mary greeted her, kissed her, and carried her to Heaven.

Did Mary, we might ask, bring a heavenly U-Haul?

There is a less elevated side to rose imagery. The rose bud, perhaps the most powerful symbol of love in our culture, is also a symbol for anal sex because it is said to resemble a sphincter.

I must confess that I have never thought that a

rose bud looked like a butt-hole. I would rather imagine the rose bud as a symbol for the beautiful potential of same-sex love, its perennial renewal and fragility. But that’s me.

It sure gives a whole new twist to the poem “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time” in which 17th century English poet Robert Herrick says, “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.” Sounds too much like a dedicated top’s weekend at the tubs.

Be that as it may, the latest twist on the rose in pop culture came in a line delivered to Jack Twist in the movie Brokeback Mountain by his foreman, who scolds Jack and Ennis for “stemming the rose,” a.k.a. anal sex. A variation on this would be the phrase, “Kiss my rosie,” which can mean ass-cheeks rather than what one of my Straight friends tactlessly calls his “brown-eye.”

Neither variation has anything to do with our own fabulous Ms. O’Donnell.

But the greatest tributes to the rose in English literature come from two Queer word-crafters: William Shakespeare and Gertrude Stein. When defending forbidden love in Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet, Juliet says, What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet.

My all-time favorite, however, is Gertrude Stein’s classic line from her poem, “Sacred Emily”: Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

This phrase says it all for me. The rest is sub rosa.

HOROSCOPES

by Jack Fertig ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): If your career goals and political views are in conflict, talking it out with a friend - even arguing - will help.

Adjusting your personal goals may be necessary; an older woman can help you.

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): Being responsible and in charge when you need to be can feel more challenging than fulfilling, but there will be a pay-off down the road. Money can be a heated topic, but it’s just a tool. Remember your essential values and ideals.

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20): There’s always more to sex. Being able to accept that as all right may be a little out of reach right now.

Getting in touch with your own needs for physical expression and spiritual growth can help you make any necessary adjustments in erotic practice.

CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): Some of your sexual needs aren’t being met, but that’s true for nearly everyone. Sharing some of your darkest secrets and fantasies with your partner the scary ones you’d never confess - should help improve the situation.

LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Arguments come easily now, and you should welcome the debates. Keep them respectful and gentle, but don’t be afraid of a little heat to fire up the learning experience. What you learn now can force you to re-evaluate “truths” you learned at home.

CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan 19): You’re looking gorgeous, darling. Don’t let that distract you from work at hand, which - dull as it may seem to some - actually helps you to glow.

This is a good time to know what you’re worth, and demand what you’re due!

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): Issues with your partner (or about wanting one) require more work than talk, but voicing your hopes and ideals will help. Small adjustments - nothing radical - in work, health, or other daily routines can offer huge improvements.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Your keen ear for subtext and hidden meanings will serve you, and you’ll be able to express yourself very well nonverbally. By choosing your words carefully and weighing what you hear, you’ll find verbal expression just as important.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): Being playful and assertive helps you to dazzle. Taking a little time out from all that dazzling to enjoy some intimate company - emotionally intimate, but not necessarily sexual - will make you even brighter when you return to the public eye.

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22): Resist the urge to argue with authorities and bosses. Your ambitions will be better furthered if you concentrate on the tasks at hand, winning the enthusiastic support of all who will notice.

Some creative innovation that’s judiciously and conservatively introduced will also help!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 20): All your wonderfully grand philosophical ideals can be a distraction from details that you should attend to now. Your partner or a good friend can help. Remembering what really counts in life can help you focus.

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 19): Holing up at home is good for your soul, but then what? Use your retreat to consider your future and the world’s, and what you can do to improve both. Remember, you benefit most when you’re helping others.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.

FEB 14 - FEB 20 2008