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2 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com
SNAPSHOT Wall Street Nightclub held its first annual PINK! Party Saturday, April 12th. The benefit for The Susan G. Komen Foundation was a huge success, raising $3,418.00 through cover charge and drink special proceeds. Thanks to everyone who attended this event to help end breast cancer. Photos courtesy of Wall Street Nightclub
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mette Bach, Danielle Buckius, Wayne R Besen, Chris Crain, Jennifer Vanasco, Tom Moon, Regina Sewell, Leslie Robinson, Gregg Shapiro, Mick Weems, Julianne French, TF Barton, Romeo San Vicente, Jeff Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Tristan Taormino, Dennis Vanke, Mario Pinardi, Rick Kramer, Aaron Drake, Jennie Keplar, Scott Varner, Derrik Chinn, Dan Savage, Felice Newman, Tim Curran, Chris Hughes, Stephen J Fallon, Felice Newman, J. Eric Peters, Crystal Hawkins, Brent Wilder, Matthew Burlingame, Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Matthew Veritas Tsien, Cheri Meyers, Adam Lippe, Michael A. Knipp
BUSINESS & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels mdaniels@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media 212.242.6863 ADVERTISING DEADLINE Each Wednesday 8 days prior to publication. Call us at 614.268.8525. HOW TO REACH US Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Suite ii Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookweekly.net web www.outlookmedia.com business www.myspace.com/outlookweekly friends www.flickr.com/outlookweekly photos SUBSCRIPTIONS Call 614.268.8525
READERSHIP: 210,000 PEOPLE / MONTH Outlook Weekly is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. every Thursday throughout Ohio. Outlook Weekly is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over copies of Outlook Weekly with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in Outlook Weekly are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. Outlook Weekly does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2008 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
APR 24 - APR 30 2008 VOLUME 12 NUMBER 43
APR 24 - APR 30 2008
PHIA'S COMING OUT PARTY Phia Salon, formerly known as Hair Color Experts Salon in the Short North, celebrated its official coming out at a VIP event April 2, at Spice Bar. Stylists and their models showed their stuff at this couture cotillion. Photos courtesy of Elizabeth Bella of Phia Salon + Chris Hayes @ Outlook SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...3, 30 LETTERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........4 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........6 INSIGHT OUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........8 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......11 FEATURE: QUALIA . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .13-20 HEALTH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......22 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......24 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......24 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......25 INTERVIEW : THE ONES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......27 SEX TALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......28 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......29 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 NEXT WEEK: ART FOR LIFE!
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 3
ABOUT TOWN by Chris Hayes
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23 EH LASSIE Novelist Stephanie Grant Reading @ 311 Denney Hall, 164 W 17th Ave on the OSU campus: Grant will read from and discuss her new novel, Map of Ireland today. Ms. Grant, a visiting writer at the Franklin Humanities Institute located at Duke University, is also the author of Passion of Alice (Houghton Mifflin 1995), which was nominated for Britain’s Orange Prize for Women Writers and the Lambda Award for Best Lesbian Fiction. The talk is open to the public. A reception and book signing will follow the presentation. 4p; free. THURSDAY, APRIL 24 IKEA CREATIONS CURRENTS: Jason Salavon @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, columbusmuseum.org: Salavon’s multi-media installation will examine the marketing of the ideal modern lifestyle, as seen in glossy catalogues of upscale home furnishings. Central to the exhibition is a multi-screen projection of a domestic living space titled “Catalogue to the Moon and Stars.” In this work, couches, carpets, and myriad home furnishings change shape, color, material, and style at a barely perceptible pace over the course of a day. Through May 4. REMEMBER MATTHEW Laramie Project @ Jeanne B. McCoy Community Center for the Arts: The New Albany Drama Department takes on this deeply engaging story about the brutal, senseless killing of 21 year old college student, Matthew Shepard, and the impact that event has had on a community and the nation.. Judy Sheppard appears May 2. See page 30 for more details. FRIDAY, APRIL 25 GET GREENER Free Green Seminars @ WattWorks, 1078 Goodale Blvd, 614.458.1162: WattWorks, your neighborhood “Energy Savings Store”, is providing you with an opportunity to learn how to conserve energy and save natural resources. They have developed a series of Free Educational Seminars for all who want to learn how new technology can dramatically impact your monthly utility bills. This week’s topic: “Solar Technology and Its Application Today.” New seminars each week. 3p&5p; free. SATURDAY, APRIL 26 WANT TO ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIP? Couples Workshop @ the A. Sophie Rogers Laboratory School (Schoenbaum Family Center) at Weinland Park, 175 E 7th Ave, 614.292.3671, cannon.104@osu.edu: Plan to attend a free workshop for all couples conducted by the OSU Couple and Family Therapy Clinic today. Learn tools for a better relationship, win raffle prizes, child care provided. RSVP preferred, but walk-ins welcome. 2p-4p (registration begins at 1:30p); free. PAINT THE PLANET! Earth & Art @ Milo Arts Center, 617 E 3rd Ave: Come celebrate the spring season with QMB and friends. This interactive event includes compost 7 gardening classes, engaging games, art installations, fire cooked food & drinks, a dance party and music by Flotation Walls, Queen Mae & the Bells, RoeVy, DJ Moxy, Zebracadabra and DJ Snell. 100% of proceeds benefit the Wilma H Scheirmeier Olentangy River Wetland Research Park. 4p; $5 donation, $1 off with personal cup.
HI-YA! Tai Chi and Qigong Day (Chi Kung) @ the gazebo in Goodale Park, Park St, 614.294.9511, MonkeysRetreat.com: Monkeys Retreat Tai Chi and Chi Kung Center invite you to celebrate World Tai Chi and Qigong Day (Chi Kung). Various forms and styles of Tai Chi and Qigong will be performed and taught for free. All Tai Chi and Qigong teachers, students, and practitioners; plus other healing artists and those that are interested; are invited and encouraged to participate. This event will be presented in partnership with that day’s EarthDay celebration. While Earth Day is celebrating with music at the gazebo from noon till 7PM, there will be speakers, demonstrations, classes and workshops near the shelterhouse. 10a; free. SUNDAY, APRIL 27 BRING YOUR APPETITE The Feast Of Beltaine @ threecranes@ the Hickory Grove Reservable Shelter in Blendon Woods Metropark, threecranes.org: Three Cranes Grove, ADF, would like to invite you to celebrate the feast of Beltaine with them today. There will be a social hour at 12p, followed by a ritual at 1p. We will have a potluck after the ritual, so please bring a dish to share! Please bring a canned food donation. All donations are given locally, and for suggestions on what to donate, please check out the Mid-Ohio Food Bank’s suggested donations page. 12p; free. WELL YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS…. PFLAG Monthly Meeting @ First UU Church, 93 W Weisheimer Rd: PFLAG presents Understanding The Transgender Reality. Meral Crane will share basic facts about the transgender reality by a power point presentation. See page 6 for more info. 2p; free. TUESDAY, APRIL 29 BORN TO BE WILD Rock ‘n’ Roll Tuesdays @ Exile, 893 N 4th St, 614.299.0069, exilebar.com: Come rock out with your cock out at the newly renovated Exile and everyone’s favorite good time guy, Jay Bird at this night of rock and hotties. 9p; free. KICK ‘EM IN THE NUTS BRAVO’s Self-Defense Workshops @ Pomerence Hall 306, 1760 Neil Ave, 614.294.7867, www.bravoohio.org: As much progress as the community has made in the realm of social acceptance, some people still wish us harm. That’s why BRAVO is presenting self-defense workshops for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people this April and May. Resistance to a physical attack provides a significantly greater chance of surviving. Participants will learn mental, verbal, and physical skills to help protect themselves. The class is free and open to all LGBT people and meets for 4 more consecutive Tuesdays. Class dates are April 29 and May 6. Call to register. 6p; free. THURSDAY, MAY 1 HAMBURGER HELPER Project OpenHand – Columbus, Every Good Party Ends in the Kitchen @ 1699 W Mount St, 614.437.2957, www.projectopenhand-columbus.org: This event will include cooking demonstrations, food, wine, music and a silent auction with proceeds benefiting Project OpenHand – Columbus. 5:30p; $65 adv/$75 door. APR 24 - APR 30 2008
4 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
LETTERS GOVERNOR STRICKLAND IS MISUSING TOBACCO SETTLEMENT MONEY To the Editor: That is the best word to describe Governor Strickland’s raid on money allocated to support tobacco control efforts in Ohio. This money came to the state for one reason and one reason alone, the destructive effects of tobacco use. In 1998, the Attorney General signed the Master Settlement Agreement (MSA) to recover billions of dollars in costs associated with treating smoking-related illnesses. The central purpose of the MSA was to reduce smoking, particularly youth smoking. The funds provided under this agreement presented an opportunity to reduce tobacco use and save lives. In Ohio, the tobacco settlement was used to create several endowment funds, including the tobacco prevention and control fund that is administered by the Ohio Tobacco Prevention Foundation. Ohio’s settlement was $10.1 billion, only a portion of the funds received were allocated for tobacco control. The tobacco prevention endowment was to reach a balance of $1.26 billion and yield $60 million annually for a comprehensive tobacco prevention and cessation program, without ever using state taxpayer dollars. Unfortunately the Ohio Legislature has redirected the majority of the Tobacco Foundation’s funding to the State’s general fund. The Foundation has received only a small percent of the promised endowment. The most recent raid on the funds occurred last week when Governor Strickland signed a bill that diverts all but $40 million, or less than one year’s budget for the Foundation, to his economic stimulus plan. This action will stop the significant progress Ohio has made in reducing the devastating health effects and financial toll of tobacco use. Ten years ago, prior to the Master Settlement, the state of Ohio did not allocate any money for tobacco prevention. The lack of financial support for comprehensive tobacco control was evident in our smoking rates. During that time, Ohio had some of
the highest smoking rates in the county. In the past several years, utilizing funding provided by the MSA, the Ohio Tobacco Prevention Foundation has expanded tobacco control initiatives across the state. The results have been impressive; these programs have reduced Ohio’s tobacco use by more than 40 percent among youth and nearly 15 percent among adults. There are nearly 375,000 fewer adult smokers now than in 2003 - a 17 percent decrease, which is nearly double the national average. The Centers for Disease Control recommends that states establish tobacco-control programs that are comprehensive, accountable and most of all sustainable. Despite significant progress, tobacco remains the number one cause of preventable death in Ohio; there is much more work to be done and sufficient funding support is critical. States that have cut funding from successful tobacco prevention programs have seen their progress stop and even reverse. If we eliminate funding for tobacco control our citizens will face the consequences, more Ohio children will become addicted to tobacco, more Ohio citizens will die prematurely from tobacco use, and all Ohio taxpayers will pay the bill for higher health care costs. Legislators must not cut funding for tobacco control. If Ohio legislators truly want to create economic stability we need to consider the significant cost of tobacco use, both now and in the future. By investing in tobacco prevention we will save Ohio taxpayers money by reducing the $4.37 billion a year Ohioans pay in health care bills related to tobacco, including $1.4 billion in Medicaid payments. The average Ohio household pays $638 a year in taxes because of tobacco; while Tobacco companies spend $724 million a year marketing their deadly products in the state. Ohio must continue its dedication to tobacco prevention or our citizens will pay the price. Lori Kondas Vice President of Mission Services American Lung Association of Ohio
REPOWERED ENGINES GET BETTER GAS MILEAGE To the Editor, With gasoline prices skyrocketing toward $4 per gallon, motorists are looking for ways to reduce fuel consumption. If your car or truck is experiencing major engine problems, but is in relatively good shape otherwise, repowering it with a remanufactured/rebuilt engine not only will help you stretch your dollars at the gas pump, but it is also a much more cost effective option compared to purchasing a new or used car. According to a new survey conducted by the Automotive Aftermarket Industry Association, 75 percent of drivers are maintaining their vehicles better because of rising gas prices. When you experience engine trouble, talk with an automotive technician to see if repowering your engine with a remanufactured/rebuilt one is the right choice for you. With repowering, the engine is completely remanufactured/rebuilt. Unlike installing a used or junk yard engine, critically important internal parts get replaced with new parts. They are dependable, reliable and backed by excellent warranty programs that usually cover installation expenses. A repowered engine gets better gas mileage than a worn out engine, emitting fewer pollutants as well. Engine repowering also saves the tremendous amount of energy used in processing discarded engines and vehicles, as well as saves an incredible amount of raw materials that would have been used in building a new engine. For more information about repowering your vehicle and where to find qualified remanufacturered/rebuilt engines and installation providers, visit www.enginerepower.org.
The Reader Poll Last week we asked:
Which of the following do you consider the most spiritual experience?
4.9% Dancing 9.8% Attending Church Service 19.5% Sex 17% Meditating 4.9% Drugs/Alcohol Consumption 12.2% Praying 24.4% Creating/Consuming: Art/Music/Writing 7.3% Other? If other, explain: • being out in nature and biking and running • being surrounded by nature • Worshipping God is the most spiritual experience. Going to church is okay, but worship is between you and God. It's letting Him know how awesome He is. It's a level unlike any other.
NEXT WEEKS QUESTIONS:
Steve Rich Chairman Engine Repower Council
When’s the last time you were tested for an STD? Do you know your status? Do you always disclose your sexual health status to your partners? Log on to: www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.
Got something to say? Email us at editor@outlookmedia.com
28% SO U RC
APR 24 - APR 30 2008
E : AP/IPSOS
CATEGORY
NOV 2 ’04
APR 21 ’08
DIFFERENCE
AMERICAN DEAD
1,122
4,037
2,915
AMERICAN WOUNDED
8,124
29,628
21,504
IRAQI CIVILIAN DEAD
16,342
90,390
NATIONAL DEBT
$7,429,629,954,236
$9,400,717,750,381
DAYS ‘TIL 2008 ELECTION
1,463
197
74,048 $1,971,087,796,145 (1,266)
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 5
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COMMUNITY CORNER
PFLAG COLUMBUS PRESENTS UNDERSTANDING THE TRANSGENDER REALITY The next PFLAG meeting being held April 27 from 2p-4p at the First UU Church, 93 W Weisheimer Rd, will feature Meral Crane. Meral Crane will share basic facts about the transgender reality by a power point presentation. Terms will be defined along with the discussion of current understanding of etiology and stages of treatment. Finally, there will be transmen and transwomen and a mother to also share their own experience. The most important point of the presentation is best summarized by a very successful engineer transwoman who said: “transition is generally a temporary metamorphosis towards a productive life in society.” We hope you can join us and take part in this enlightening program. Meral Crane, M.A., L.P.C.C., I.M.F.T. is Clinical Director of the Gender Diversity Program of Central Ohio (web site: www.genderprogram.com). Meral is a licensed clinical counselor, marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist. She also has postgraduate specialty in gender studies and has worked with transgender individuals and their families for over thirty years. PFLAG meetings are free and open to the public
CENTRAL OHIO CRIME STOPPERS IS IMPROVING THE WAY TO TEXT AN ANONYMOUS TIP ABOUT CRIME IN CENTRAL OHIO Central Ohio Crime Stoppers is changing to offer the latest technology for an efficient, safe, secure and anonymous Texting environment for our TEXT TIP program. Now to send a TEXT tip to COCS you simply dial the tip texting number, enter the keyword, text in your tip information and then hit send. The tip will arrive anonymously at a Crime Stoppers. Crime Stopper personnel are able to respond to the tip without being able to identify the tipster. It is safe, simple, easy and anonymous. TO TIP BY TEXT MESSAGING Using your mobile phone, submit your Tip APR 24 - APR 30 2008
information by texting keyword TIP125 to CRIMES (274637). In a few seconds you will receive a confirmation of your tip via text message with a tip number. Without being able to identify you or your cell phone number, Crime Stoppers can respond to that cell phone for a 2-way dialog. Special software keeps you anonymous. Should your tip lead to an arrest, you could be eligible for a reward of up to $2,000. To find out if your tip has been successful, call Crime Stoppers at 645-TIPS or 1-877645-TIPS (8477). For extra safety, you should delete both your sent and received text messages. You can prevent any dialog with Crime Stoppers by texting “Stop” to CRIMES (274637), keyword TIP125.
DAYTON GAY PRIDE ANNOUNCES DATES The Dayton Pride Partnership, a coalition of businesses, non-profits, and organizations in the Miami Valley that represent gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered persons and many allies of sexual minorities, announced the 2008 Pride events for this coming June. The annual outdoor Pride Fest Parade and Rally is scheduled for June 7 and will begin at 12:15 at Cooper Park between Third and Second Streets on St. Clair. Registration and lineup begins at 11 a.m. with step off at 12:15p The Parade will proceed to Court House Square at Third and Main Street for the Pride Fest which continues until 6:30p The 22st annual Pride dinner is at the Ponitz Center on June 21, 2008. “Celebrate 2008 - It’s About Freedom” is the slogan for Pride 2008. Both major events, the Pride Fest on June 7 and the Pride Dinner on June 21, will have special features based on this theme. The Dayton Pride Partnership is sponsoring its second annual same-gender commitment ceremony at the Pride Fest. It will begin shortly after noon on the stage at Courthouse Square. A group of local clergy will perform the ceremony led by the pastor from Eternal Joy MCC, Rev. Mark Pridmore. Rev. Pridmore said: “This symbolic wedding ceremony is one of the ways we hope to stand up and really show our community that “Celebrate 2008 - It’s About Freedom”. The Pride Fest will be a whole day of fun, food,
friends enjoying regional and local entertainment to follow the wedding ceremony. Several local performers will perform throughout day. Go to www.daytonlgbtcenter.com to find out how to participate and download forms to sign up for a booth or marching group. “Celebrate 2008 - It’s About Freedom” will continue at a gala Pride Dinner scheduled for the evening of June 21 at the Ponitz Center located on the campus of Sinclair Community College. The Pride Partnership will present a fabulous night of gambling Monte Carlo style, singing, dancing and community awards this year. The evening will open with a business exposition and a Las Vegas style wedding chapel. All exhibitors are encouraged to decorate in a Las Vegas style. Attendees are also encouraged to wear clothing or costumes to reflect a Casa Las Vegas theme. The exposition will feature cocktails, appetizers and a live Monte Carlo. To win prizes at the Monte Carlo, gamblers will turn in their chips for raffle tickets and we will give away some great prizes. We will also have raffle tickets for sale for those who want to dance instead of gamble after dinner. All proceeds benefit Pride Activities and activities at the new LGBT Center opening this year. The expo will be followed by dinner, awards and entertainment including performances by The Rubi Girls, and the Human Race Theatre Company. After the performances and awards, there will be dancing to the live sounds of the Kenny and Connie Quartet, a popular local band featuring vocalist Connie Lawson. DJ Venus from Club Masque will also provide entertainment as he spins the latest sounds. The Monte Carlo will resume after dinner and midway through the night. How to go: June 7, 2008 Pride Fest Parade and Rally: Line up begins at 11 a.m., and step off at 12:15p from Cooper Park, Third and St. Clair, go to www.daytonlgbtcenter.com for registration forms for marching groups, exposition forms for businesses and nonprofits. Pride Fest begins at conclusion of parade and continues until 6 PM. June 21, 2008 Pride Dinner, Business expo and Monte Carlo: Ponitz Center, 444 W 3rd St Dayton, OH 45402. 5p business expo & and Monte Carlo; 7:15p dinner fol-
lowed by entertainment sand dancing. Cost $45.00 per person. Go to www.daytonlgbtcenter.com for registration forms for business exposition and dinner tickets OR purchase tickets by sending a check to Pride Partnership, Box 1203, Dayton, OH 45401-1203, or purchase in person at QGifts, 1904 North Main, Dayton, OH 45405 937.274.4400.
OUTLOOK’S OWN TRISTAN TAORMINO LAUNCHES NEW WEBSITE Author and Outlook columnist Tristan Taormino has launched a brand new website in anticipation of the release of her new book May 1. OpeningUp.net is a website for people interested in open relationships of all kinds, including monogamy with benefits, nonmonogamy, partnered nonmonogamy, swigning, polyamory, polyfidelity, solo polyamory, mixed orientation marriages, and other relationships styles beyond monogamy. It features a blog, an extensive resource guide, message boards, and the Open List, a list of professionals (therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, consultants, relationship and life coaches, doctors, lawyers, etc.) who are experienced and knowledgeable about alternative sexuality, lifestyles, and relationships. Check it out!
WHO WILL THE QUEEN CITY CROWN AS THE NEXT CHAMPION? RED BULL SOAPBOX RACE HEADS TO CINCINNATI Have you ever seen a pot of chili dance with the devil? Us either. But you might see a pot of chili race at top speed and even defy gravity when Red Bull Soapbox Race arrives in Cincinnati on October 4, 2008. Teams of four will race at velocities topping 30 mph around the treacherous turns of Mount Adams in home-made, human-powered crafts. It’s not just about speed though; creativity and showmanship play an important role in deciding who will don the fiercely sought-after crown. Fancy yourself a gear head? Then field a team of four, pick a lucky driver or two and let your creativity loose. Visit www.redbullsoapboxusa.comfor details and apply online through June 30, 2008.
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INSIGHTOUT by Regina Sewell
Relationships often start out feeling like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Life seems beautiful and exciting. Everything the other person does seems wonderful. We feel electric currents flow through our systems when we and our new flame touch. The jukebox in our brain gets stuck on love song lyrics and we find ourselves singing lyrics like, “I want to be your girl friend. I want to be your new love. I want to be the one that you can’t get enough of.” (Mary Chapin Carpenter). Or “I want to hold your hand.” (Beatles) And though we’re loathe to admit it, most of us slip right into the fantasy that perhaps, “this is ‘the’ one, the magical other who will understand me, meet all of my needs and help me repair my emotional wounds.” Just like the darkness hides the unsightly trash left by the revelers and casings from the exploded fireworks, our dreams work like a pair of rose colored glasses to hide the less desirable characteristics of the latest Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. However, without fail, the sun comes up on July 5th and the debris is obvious. Likewise, eventually, the rose tint fades from our glasses. We wake up to the real person behind the fantasy. We start to notice aspects about them that we don’t like. We feel irritated because they leave their dishes in the sink, for weeks and either don’t own a vacuum cleaner or don’t know how to use it, or because they are compulsive neat freaks and even alphabetize their herbal tea collection. Or maybe it’s the fact that they call 15 times a day and freak out if we don’t pick up or at least call back within the hour or because they rarely return phone calls at all. Or maybe, we feel hurt when they call from work, night after night, telling us that they just have to finish this last one thing and again arrive an hour or two after they promised they’d drop by, or frustrated when we realize that they have pretty much settled onto the couch in front of our TV and have no intention of getting a job. This is also the time we start to trip over each other’s emoAPR 24 - APR 30 2008
tional baggage and bump into the walls that they put up to keep from being vulnerable. We get a glimpse of their fears and insecurities and inadvertently set off their triggers. It sucks to surrender to our fantasy of living happily ever after only to have it shattered by reality when the honeymoon is over. Most of us, at least at first, place the blame for our discomfort on our partners. Everything would be fine, we think, if only they would be who we wanted them to be. How dare they not live up to our expectations. It’s easy to get so focused on our partner’s limitations that we throw in the towel. And this is always an option. Another option is to see our frustration and disillusionment as an opportunity to look within and heal, either on our own, or with our partners. Even if ultimately we chose to throw in the towel, it’s important to look at and take responsibility for our dreams and expectations. At a minimum, it’s important to look at what attracted us who we thought was Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. Was the attraction based on their abs and gluts? Was it based on the fact that they seemed like a walking party? Or that they looked incredibly successful? Or that they seemed really smart? Or that they were a great musician? Or that they exuded a sense of confidence? Or….? Very often what we are really attracted to is a mix of who the other person really is and who we want them to be. For example, we fall for a musician or a writer because we love their creativity, but get cranky when we realize that they are unable or unwilling to don a suit and get a professional job when the bills come due. Or we fall for someone who laughs a lot and is really fun to hang out with and feel betrayed when we find out that those jokes are masking worlds of pain. When this happens, it’s important to get really honest with ourselves and acknowledge the fact that it’s not the other person who’s the problem. They are just being who they are. It’s our expectations of who we wanted them to be
relative to who they really are that’s causing our misery. This is the make or break point in the relationship. There are a lot of patterns that are simply not worth tolerating. Perhaps you finally realize that they are married or otherwise in a committed relationship that they are simply not willing to leave at this point. Perhaps your, “This is abusive behavior” alarm has been going off. Or perhaps you’ve started to notice that every time you get together, they are drinking and most of your evenings end with them getting shitfaced and when you confront them on it, they blow you off. Even if you decide to call it quits, it’s important to look at yourself and figure out what was going on for you that you got involved with someone who wasn’t really available, or who was abusive, or was taking the “better living through chemistry” approach to life. Were you attracted to someone who wasn’t really available because you’re not really ready to open your heart in trust and love? Did you fall for someone who is somewhat abusive because you don’t really think you’re worth loving or because you are comfortable with people putting you down? Did you fall for a drinker because you also have a drinking problem, or struggle with codependency? Dealing with the underlying draws to an unhealthy relationship can help you heal yourself so that the next relationship you land in will be more nurturing and fulfilling. For couples that weren’t doomed from the start because of addiction or abuse issues, the end of the honeymoon period marks the beginning of a deeper and richer relationship. We start this journey with others as kids when we play the “If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine” game. Only now, it’s our hearts and souls that we’re putting on the line. This is scary because the chance of rejection is huge. The important thing to remember is that rejection isn’t all about us, it’s about their fears and limitations too. For example, if I meet my partner’s friends or family and, in my anxiety,
develop a serious case of diarrhea of the mouth and my partner feels humiliated, that humiliation is her stuff. Sure, I need to work on my self presentation so as not to act in a way that doesn’t feel comfortable, but I don’t have to own her humiliation. And the beauty is that if I tell my partner, “When I get anxious, I talk, a lot, and when I’m with people who I sense are judging me or pushing me to be someone I’m not, I get really nervous,” together, we might be able to devise a strategy to deal with my anxiety. We might, for example, avoid office parties where I would be expected to act like a Fortune 500 professional and family functions where arguing religious doctrine wouldn’t go over well. It’s only by risking getting emotionally naked with someone that you can actually truly let in the love they feel for you. And if that love’s not there, well, isn’t it better to know now and move on? The other side of the risk of showing your vulnerability is the reward of feeling accepted and safe to be who you really are. You can’t really get to this place without really letting someone else in. And, while the woohoo thrill of the electrical currents that flow through you when you first meet someone are fabulous, that’s nothing to compare to the electricity that can surge through you when you hit a place of comfortable intimacy with someone you love. It’s actually only through the process of tearing down your emotional walls that you can experience the mind blowing cosmic possibilities of physical intimacy. So at some level, the end of the honeymoon is the beginning of something deeper, richer and more exciting than the fireworks you feel on the fourth of July, if you’re willing to do the work to get there. Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor with a private practice in Worthington, OH. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com.
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OUT BUSINESS NEWS GAYWIRED MEDIA RE-LAUNCHES FLAGSHIP SITE GAYWIRED.COM Gaywired Media, a leading digital media company targeting the LGBT consumer, announced today that its flagship website, Gaywired.com, has re-launched with an all new content and site design. The new Gaywired.com debuts today, and will be followed shortly thereafter by fresh new designs for the company’s two other key portals – 247gay.com and LesbiaNation.com. “We are thrilled to unveil the fresh new look of Gaywired.com, the first in a series of redesigns of the Gaywired Media network of sites,” said Paul Colichman, Founder and CEO of Gaywired Media’s parent company Regent Entertainment. “Dustin W Design crafted a user-friendly interactive epicenter designed for the LGBT community to visit daily and connect to fresh voices and smart perspectives. The new Gaywired.com offers a uniquely gay sensibility on the current global entertainment and pop culture landscape.” Continuing its tradition of fresh, cutting-edge entertainment content, Gaywired.com now offers its users a sleek, engaging destination. The refreshed Gaywired.com brings users the following exciting new features and additional content: HOTwired: A free social networking feature allowing users to connect, share private/public photos and videos and chat. FRESHwire: Newswire offering the best in timely original and aggregated entertainment news, pop culture and gossip. Exclusive Celebrity Interviews: Interviews with Joy Behar, Candis Cayne, Tori Spelling and Patti LaBelle among others. Distinct LGBT Cultural Voices: Op-ed columns/blogs from Neil Giuliano, Howard Bragman, former Palm Springs Mayor Ron Oden and Bob Witeck. All New Columnists including: “Big Brother’s” Marcellas Reynolds, Libby Post, BoiFromTroy blogger Scott Schmidt, former Page Six columnist Sean Borg and author Neil Plakcy. All New Columns including: Gaywired Confessional (an anonymous look inside the lives of some of Hollywood’s biggest players), Hypocrite of the Week and our This Gay Week series (TV, Movies, Sports, This Gay Week in Review) Premium Video Content: A new video player offering advanced video capabilities allowing for new personalities and everyday voices to be highlighted with Vlogs and other exclusive video content. As always, Gaywired.com will continue to offer the best in news, politics, travel, business and health. Additionally, returning fan favorite columns include “Media Blender” and “In My Humble Opinion” from Los Angeles boot camp trainer Barry Jay and as well as the popular “Gaywired Top 10 Celebrity List.” For more information about Gaywired Media and its extensive network of websites, please visit www.gaywiredmedia.com.
FIRST EVER FORUM OF OPENLY LGBT EXECUTIVES HIGHLIGHTS CORPORATE CLOSET IN TODAY’S WORKPLACE CULTURE Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people remain under-represented in top corporate executive positions based on the small number of openly LGBT C-suite executives at Fortune 500 companies. The first annual Out & Equal Executive Forum,
gathering 24 high-ranking corporate executives from diverse industries, discussed this challenge and the potential to continue increasing LGBT representation at the top levels of leading companies. Participants discussed the unique challenges of being openly lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender in management positions, the barriers to more equitable representation, the competing demands of business interests and personal interests and ways to build a network and support one another despite coming from different industrial or service sectors of the marketplace. Over the course of the program, the executives dedicated themselves to being more visible as LGBT people and role models for other executives or potential executives who may fear that coming out will cost them opportunities for success. “This is the first step toward our goal of all executives being free to live and work authentically,” said Out & Equal Executive Director Selisse Berry. “Our hope is that we have created a space and a network that will ripple outward from this event, allowing more and more LGBT executives to be open about who they are, as well as the hundreds of thousands of employees worldwide who look to them as an example of how to be successful while being true to oneself.” “Being with other openly LGBT executives was a rare and unique opportunity,” said Donna Griffin, Managing Director at Chubb. “Seeing other executives who are facing the same challenges, and have the same kinds of intimidation, the same kinds of excitement, and the same kinds of opportunity was very exciting for me,” said Ken McNeely, President of AT&T California. “It was very rewarding to see my peer group around the country and very encouraging.” “It felt as if something special has begun,” said Melinda Haag, an Executive with Crowe Chizek and Company, LLC. “We have all committed—to each other and to the people who are not here and those people who may come after us—to keep this going.” The event was held at Hotel Vitale and featured keynote speakers Rayona Sharpnack, founder of the Institute for Women’s Leadership; Chip Conley, founder and CEO of Joie de Vivre; Maggie Stumpp, Chief Investment Officer of Prudential; Kenneth McNeely, President of AT&T California; and Donna Griffin, Managing Director of Chubb. Christie Hardwick served as moderator. Executives who participated include Ed Baklor, Senior Vice President, Adventures by Disney (Burbank, CA); Selisse Berry, Executive Director, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates (San Francisco, CA); Scott Beth, Vice President of Procurement and Order Management, Intuit (Mountain View, CA); Tara Bunch, Vice President Global Consumer Support and Service, Hewlett-Packard Company (Fort Collins, CO); Jim Freeman, Vice President, IBM Global Services, IBM (San Francisco, CA); Michael Garrison, Director of Marketing, Global Services, Dell Inc. (Austin, TX); Donna Griffin, Managing Director, Chubb (Warren, NJ); Melinda Haag, Executive, Crowe Chizek and Company, LLC (Chicago, IL); Jane Harper, Director, Collaborative Innovation, IBM (Half Moon Bay, CA); Julie A. Hogan, Vice President, Xerox Services, Pacific Region, Xerox Corporation (Pleasanton, CA); Michael Jungen, Director/ Ticketing & Gift Card Services, Walt Disney Parks & Resorts (Celebration, FL); George A Kalogridis, Chief Operating Officer, Disneyland Resort Paris (Paris, France); Judy Lively, MD, Physician-in-Chief, Diablo Service Area, The Permanente Medical Group (Sebastopol, CA); Uxio Malvido, EMEAC Diversity and Work Environment Leader, Merck & Co (Madrid,
Spain); Pat Martel, City Manager, City of Daly City (Daly City, CA); Cynthia Martin, retired Vice President Blue Shield of California and Eastman Kodak (Berkeley, CA); Kenneth McNeely, President, AT&T California, AT&T (San Francisco, CA); Tom Moore, Partner, Ernst & Young LLP (San Francisco, CA); Steve Sears, Vice President Marketing, Stacy’s Pita Chip Co. (Randolph, MA); Rayona Sharpnack, Founder, Institute for Women’s Leadership (Redwood City, CA); Kayla Shell, Legal Director, Dell Inc. (Round Rock, TX); Michael Welch, Partner & Chief Financial Officer, Stephan Pyles Concepts (Dallas, TX); and Gary Wright, Distinguished Engineer, IBM (Tacoma, WA). In addition to the Executive Forum, Out & Equal offers a wide array of programs and services to promote LGBT workplace equality. Upcoming activities from Out & Equal include the First Annual Out & Equal Dinner and Gala, June 12, 2008, Hotel Nikko, San Francisco; and the 2008 Out & Equal Workplace Summit - the world’s premier conference on LGBT workplace equality—September 10-13, 2008, Austin Convention Center, Austin, Texas. Out & Equal Workplace Advocates™ is a national nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization. Out & Equal champions safe and equitable workplaces for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people. The organization advocates building and strengthening successful organizations that value all employees, customers, and communities. See www.outandequal.org, for more details.
GAYWHEELS.COM TOP 10 MOSTRESEARCHED VEHICLES FOR 1ST QUARTER 2008 Gaywheels.com, the sole source of information specifically targeted to and about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) car-shoppers, today announced its list of the Top 10 Most-Researched Vehicles during the first quarter of 2008. The Volkswagen Rabbit took over the top spot from the Toyota Yaris after a 12-month run. The Volvo C30 and the Mazda Mazda3 made their debut in the 9th and 10th spot respectively. “It seems price and fuel economy concerns are important the Gaywheels.com consumer,” said Gaywheels.com founder Joe LaMuraglia. “60% of the vehicles on the most-researched list are hatchbacks and four of those six have a MSRP starting at under $16K.” Gaywheels.com Top 10 Most-Researched Vehicles are Volkswagen Rabbit; Volkswagen Eos; Toyota Yaris; Mazda MX-5 Miata; Audi A3; Volkswagen Jetta; Saab 9-3; Dodge Caliber; Volvo C30; and Mazda Mazda3. Although information, specifications and pricing on all new car and truck models are available on Gaywheels.com, each vehicle on the Most-Researched list is offered by a gay-friendly brand. Gaywheels.com classifies vehicle manufacturers as gay-friendly or not based on their corporate policies for offering domestic-partner benefits to their employees in the U.S. The Top 10 Most Researched list is based on website statistics gathered from January 1 – March 31, 2008 from Gaywheels.com’s New Car section. Gaywheels.com publishes its Most-Researched list quarterly.
CREW WINS A 2008 CORPORATE CARING AWARD The Columbus Crew and its charitable arm, the Crew Soccer Foundation, humbly accepted a 2008
Corporate Caring Award for Education on Thursday (April 10). Business First and sponsors Battelle, Grange Insurance, KPMG, Mills/James Productions, and Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease celebrated corporate philanthropy in Columbus by presenting awards in four categories at the 12th Annual Corporate Caring Awards Luncheon at the Hyatt Regency Ballroom. In selecting the Crew, the judges made particular note of the organization’s school assembly program, its longtime involvement in the ColumbusReads program, its continued commitment to the MLS/NEA Get a Kick Out of Reading program and CSF’s sponsoring of the Student-Athlete of the Year Award and Scholarship at the annual Greater Linden Awards and Gratitude Celebration. “It is extremely gratifying to be recognized for work that is already in itself so rewarding,” said Crew General Manager Mark McCullers. “To be selected from among so many worthy Finalists is a tremendous honor and a credit to our entire organization. Through the efforts of many – notably Dave Stephany, Robin Ungerleider and our players, who are terrific community ambassadors – this is truly a team award.” The Crew’s unique, interactive school assembly program targets Columbus-area public elementary schools for visits by Crew players and staff. The Crew visited with more than 4,000 children last year, discussing during each program the importance of leadership, teamwork, sportsmanship and staying in school. Students participated in skills demonstrations and were able to practice what they learned. The organization is now in its ninth consecutive year of providing reading tutors for at-risk kindergartners at nearby Windsor Alternative Elementary School. ColumbusReads works under the umbrella of the Help One Student to Succeed (HOSTS) program, which has been has been tested and proven successful in hundreds of schools throughout the country. ColumbusReads tutors commit one hour per week in the classroom, during their regular work week, for one school year. Each tutor provides two children with a half-hour of tutoring each week. The Get A Kick Out of Reading/Lee Y Marca Un Golazo! literacy initiative, presented by the Crew, Major League Soccer (MLS), the National Education Association (NEA) and America SCORES, is an innovative bilingual program that uses the sport of soccer to deliver positive messages about the value and fun of reading, targeting school-age kids. In 2007, the fifth annual Crew Reading Challenge provided 5,000 English as a Second Language (ESL) students from area school districts with a soccerthemed folder, poster and bookmark, while inviting them to earn the Readers’ Shield Certificate of Accomplishment. In addition to the certificate, students who met the Challenge by reading (or being read to) for 90 minutes a week – the length of a soccer game – for four weeks received two tickets to a Crew home game, courtesy of CSF’s Kicks for Kids program. The Crew and CSF have sponsored the Greater Linden Awards & Gratitude Celebration’s StudentAthlete of the Year Award in all four years of its existence and provided a $1,000 scholarship to the winner in each of the last two. The mission of Greater Linden Development Corporation is to improve the quality of life in the Greater Linden community, which Crew Stadium calls home, through housing and economic development, planning, coordinating of services and other community-building activities. APR 24 - APR 30 2008
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FEATURE STORY
QUALIA ‘08 SCHEDULE
by Mickey Weems and Kevin Mason, Qualia coordinators
FRIDAY MAY 2 6p-7:30p: Dinner with the House of Tomorrow: meet the Reynoldsburg Gay Straight Alliance. Free food provided! The Center on High (3208 N. High St.) 7:30p-9p: Ohio premier of Tell, documentary on Gays in the military, Q&A with director Tom Murray at The Center on High 10p-?: Fundraiser for IDKE at East Village (630 n. High St.) featuring Fo’ Dem Ladeez (Sile Singleton of Fast Friday Productions, MC) 11p-2:15a: Fundraiser for Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization (BRAVO) at Axis (775 N High St), featuring DJ Alyson Calagna
Qualia Conference on Gay Folklife 2008: Global Ethics Qualia: A Festival of Gay Folklife is dedicated to folklore and performance in the GLBTQ community. We sponsor a weekend-long festival each April with an academic conference (free and open to all), documentaries, and fundraiser events. 2008 is our sixth year. The word “qualia” refers to those impressions that are made from our own inner criteria. The color red has a wavelength in the light spectrum, but that quantifiable measurement does not describe how red feels. Sexual orientation, the aesthetics of beauty, the depths of sorrow and despair, the shining ecstasy of spiritual rapture, and the outrageous hilarity of having fun are best understood in qualia rather than measurable quantifiable data. We, the members of Qualia, seek to build bridges. We incorporate both the academic community and local GLBTQ businesses in our efforts to bring people together. Our conference encourages presenters to perform, and performers to present, so that we can give our participants knowledge and entertainment simultaneously. We are happiest when we see Lesbians and Gay men, Transpeople and Intersex, Straights and Queers, abled+disabled+differently-abled, scholars and the folk that scholars study, and every possible ethnicity come together and share in our common humanity. Qualia 2008’s theme is “After the Pride Parade: The Global Ethics of Our People.” We will explore the ways in which, as we move away from identity-as-oppressed and into identity-as-contributors, we influence the ethics of all humanity as well as improve our own commitment to inclusion, acceptance, tolerance, and appreciation of difference. Please consult the schedule in this issue of Outlook for places and times.
QUALIA OVERVIEW The Next Generation The Gay-Straight Alliance of Reynoldsburg High School will start off the conference on Friday evening. Meet the future of the LGBTQ community as they discuss their own dreams, challenges, and strategies. FREE FOOD! The Ethics Of Inclusion As part of our theme this year, Qualia is reaching out to disabled and differently-abled communities within our community. We will have teleconference calls to two remarkable people. Robert Feinstein is a man who was born blind. Read his story on page 20. Eva Sweeney is physically disabled from birth; she is non-verbal and uses a wheelchair to get around. Read her story on page 18. The Ethics Of Gay Scholarship One of Qualia’s missions is to encourage scholarship on the LGBTQ community. But when we do scholarship on our peoples, what are the ethical concerns? Elizabeth Warren of OSU GLBT Student Services will be addressing the ethics of doing research on Gay groups. Since LGBTQ people are marginalized in American politics and law, everything from our identities to romance can be highly controversial. Elizabeth will examine how best to approach our people in a sensitive, sympathetic, and honest manner. There will be some of the top folklorists in the nation at Qualia this year, many of whom are working together to produce the upcoming Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife. One of the biggest challenges of the encyclopedia is the realization that there is too much happening in LGBTQ communities around the world for it all to fit into on work. We will have an open discussion of how this work can be written
without taking on the stance that it contains everything that can be said about our peoples. Director Tom Murray, DJ Wendy Hunt, And Alyson Calagna Return! Qualia is pleased as punch to announce the return of Tom Murray, director of LGBTQ documentaries such as Farm Family and Almost Myself. Tom is returning to speak with us about his latest work, Tell, about Gays in the military. In addition, he will show a short piece that he calls “a love story” about two local men, Ron Willard and the late Todd Shinkle. For more information, see page 15.
Keynote Speaker: Diane Goldstein A leading folklorist with a billion interests, one of the areas Diane has applied her powerful intellect has been the AIDS crisis and community responses to it. Read more on page 18. Please join us at the Center on High for our 2008 Qualia Conference on Gay Folklife, May 2-3.
SATURDAY MAY 3 Noon-6p: 6th Annual Qualia Conference on Gay Folklife, The Center on High • Tom Murray: 15 min. mini-documentary featuring Ron Willard • Bob Feinstein: Being Blind and Gay • Elizabeth Warren: Ethics of Ethnography among LGBTQ Peoples • Eva Sweeney: Queers on Wheels • DJ Wendy Hunt: Dance Floor Ethics: Then and Now • Tom Murray: Gay Martyrs and the Heroes Project • The Deaf Community Speaks Out • Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife Open Discussion: Learning Not to Speak with the Voice of God KEYNOTE SPEAKER Diane Goldstein: “Building Bookcases: HIV/AIDS and the Rise of Lay Expertise” 10p-? FOR THE LOVE OF KATIE: BRAVO and Qualia fundraiser for Katie Reider, featuring Jenn Litt, Cindy Wolfe, the Rose Hips and many more, East Village 11p-2:15a BRAVO Fundraiser at Axis, featuring DJ Wendy Hunt SUNDAY MAY 4 11a-2p Sunday Brunch, TBA
QUALIA 2008 SPONSORS We couldn’t do it without ‘em! Here are the sponsors, supporters and fundraising partners of Qualia 2008, many of whom have given their help for years. We at Qualia would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to them all!
QUALIA 2009: Afrocentric focus Next year, Qualia will focus on the contributions of African American and Greater African LGBTQ communities and individuals to Gay folklife. Anyone interested in working with us for 2009 should feel free to contact us: mickeyweems@yahoo.com.
GOLD SPONSORS Outlook Weekly , OSU GLBT Student Services, José Cuervo, JustCircuit Mag, Miracle Dance Studio SILVER SPONSORS Coors Light, Dangerous Productions, Chipotlé Mexican Grill, DJ Alyson Calagna, DJ Wendy Hunt Manford House, OSU Women’s Studies, OSU Center for Folklore Studies, Union Bar and Food ZenGenius COMMUNITY SUPPORTERS & FUNDRAISING PARTNERS American Folklore Society, Axis, Center on High East Village, Fast Friday Productions, Jenn Litt and Cindy Wolfe, Ohio Bed and Breakfast, Signature Sound Productions, Suziemuzic Qualia 2008 is sponsoring fundraisers for the following: BRAVO: Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization (with Union), IDKE: International Drag King Extravaganza (with Fast Friday Productions, SuzieMuzic and Union), Katie Reider fundraiser (with BRAVO, Jenn Litt and Cindy Wolfe, SuzieMuzic, & Union)
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FEATURE STORY QUALIA HIGHLIGHTS QUALIA 2008 FUNDRAISERS: DANCING, DJ-ING, RAPPING, BUMP-AND-GRINDING, KINGING AND SINGING FROM THE HEART We live in tough times. The recession that hit Ohio several years ago is being felt nationwide, and LGBTQ organizations are losing their funding. Do the Safety Dance for BRAVO For our part, we at Qualia are supporting Columbus’ own BRAVO, Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization, with two fundraisers held in Axis nightclub. DJs Alyson Calagna and Wendy Hunt will be here to help us all have fun as we dance together, and the owners of Axis are graciously donating the entire door from Friday night (featuring Alyson Calagna) and half the door from Saturday night (featuring Wendy Hunt) to BRAVO. As with all of our BRAVO fundraisers, Qualia pays for the DJs and receives no portion of the monies raised by these events. In addition to the BRAVO fundraisers that we produce in conjunction with Axis, we will sponsor two other fundraisers to be held in East Village. On Friday night, Qualia is partnering with SuzieMuzic and Fast Friday Productions to bring in Fo’ Dem Ladeez, a Hip-Hop, Gender-Bending Extravaganza that features the drag king/MC skills of Sile Singleton, the fine singing voice and rap artistry of DaLyrical, and the one-two KO punch of siblings E and Unecc, a.k.a. Untouchable.
We heart Jenn Litt and Cindy Wolfe This spicy duo first came together in the 2000, performing in venues throughout Columbus, Ohio and surrounding areas. After a three-year hiatus, they have resurfaced and reunited to bring you their unique blend of bluesy, acoustic, folk-rock music! Currently, if not performing the two can be found working in the studio on a co-written album. Cindy Wolfe got her start writing lyrics at a very young age and began playing live music in 1995, playing venues that stretch from Ohio to California. Jenn Litt is a self-taught pianist who began composing in her home in 1991, and by the late 90s had made her mark performing in and around Ohio. I spoke with Jenn about the upcoming fundraiser on Saturday May 3: “We’ve both known Katie Reider for a long time,” she told me. “We’ve played a lot of shows with her over the years. We both love and respect her not only as a musician but as a friend! With Katie going through chemotherapy we are thrilled to help her in any way that we can. Although Katie is no longer living in Ohio her roots are still very much here. She has always given in anyway she can for a good cause. So now we believe its time to give back! Anyone can help give by contacting Suzie Simpson at Stonewall,” Jenn added (suziemuzic@wowway.com).
THE HOUSE OF TOMORROW I was invited as a Gay journalist and scholar to speak to a local high school Gay-Straight Alliance a few weeks ago.
For the Love of Katie
clothing, and accessories that would have gotten me beaten up back in the day. One boy wears stilettos a few days each week. Both the girls and the boys wear their non-het sexual orientation and alternative gender expressions with fierce casualness. I was delighted with what I saw. These kids are the dream of our community come true. The first thing the kids did was to claim their space. We had set up tables for them to sit, but that idea quickly fell apart when they began to perch on tables, chairs, or stand in a space of their choosing. The meeting began with introductions: name, sexual orientation, and reason for being there. Most of the girls and boys identified as Gay, some were Straight, others were undecided. The single most popular reason that they gave for being there brought tears to my eyes: “I want to be with my people.” When I think of the divisions and silly fights our community has wasted its energy on over the last 40 years, I was so happy to see that this new generation was seeing the bigger picture. They had reclaimed the word “Gay” back from the very narrow, racist, Straight-laced, and misogynistic connotations forced upon it by a few short-sighted Gay White men after Stonewall. They also contradicted the self-destructive death wish of those longing for a “post-gay” world. For my part, I gave them a short history of Gay identity constructed on icons going back to Sappho, and Gay communities back to the early 1700s. They loved it, and were hungry for more information about their beloved people. In his classic book, The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran describes children as insurmountably separated from adults, “For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,” he tells us, “which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” Since those of us who are adults (whether we like it or not) no longer dwell in the house of tomorrow, it is important that we learn from those who do. And believe me, they have so much to teach us, if only we listen. You can encounter this same GSA for yourself on May 2 from 6p-7:30p at the Center on High as part of the Qualia Festival of Gay Folklife.
For the Love of Katie: BRAVO gives back This fundraiser for Katie Reider, one of Ohio’s most beloved musicians, has a history. I was talking with BRAVO about its Qualia fundraisers, and Gloria McCauley of BRAVO suggested we use one to give back to the musicians who have over the years given their time to perform for free for various LGBTQ causes, including BRAVO. Thus was born “BRAVO Gives Back,” a Saturday night event in which all the money would go directly to the performers. Some of the performers, however, had other ideas. Jenn Litt and Cindy Wolfe, two Columbus favorites, thought the money would be better served if it went to Katie Reider. Suzie Simpson of SuzieMuzic, who has been helping with the booking at East Village, loved the idea, as did Gloria. No surprise there; both Suzie and Gloria have been pillars of the Gay community and staunch supporters of LGBTQ causes (including Qualia) for years. BRAVO Gives Back now has a different focus: For the Love of Katie. “I love the idea because I was trying to pick another date for a benefit for Katie,” said Suzie. “So we’re going to expand the evening to include a little bit of music, a little bit of drag and a little bit of burlesque along with raffles and auction.”
I had no idea what to expect when I got there. High school has changed a lot since I was serving my time in it some 35 years ago. I live in central Ohio, a region that reflects the trends of the nation (it’s an ideal area for test-marketing). If the existence of a Gay-Straight alliance in close proximity to Cow Town is any indication, Americans have come a long way towards becoming more Gay-tolerant. I showed up as classes were ending, and watched the group members come into the classroom where they regularly meet. There were young women who were indistinguishable from any other female students until they began talking about their girlfriends, and they didn’t mean friends who are girls. These self-identified Lesbians did nothing special to set themselves apart in their dress as far as I could tell. At the same time, they did nothing to hide. Hints of the rainbow could be seen in their jewelry (and in one case, fingernails), subtle yet unmistakable markers of pride. “If you’re looking for Ani DiFranco t-shirts and flannel, you’ve probably got the wrong group,” one student told me. “The rebirth-of-grunge phase hit every girl in this school simultaneously about two years ago. It’s since moved on,” she said. Some of the young men, however, were clearly, visibly, and unabashedly Queer, with haircuts,
QUALIA 2008 DOCUMENTARIES: TELL AND REMEMBER I’M HERE Ever present in the media and in the minds of many people in the US today, are stories about the military and its role in the world today. As concerns are raised about the ability for ongoing preparedness of our Armed Forces, once again the question of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy started well over a decade ago that banned Gay men and Lesbians from serving openly in the military is being debated. Director Tom Murray adds a human face to the debate as he set out across the country to talk with Lesbian and Gay male veterans and their allies, about the struggles faced by dedicated and patriotic Americans who want to serve their country, but can only do so while not being honest about who they fully are. Wide ranging in age and experiences, the participants and their stories are a candid and fascinating look at this timely topic. The title of the 15-minute short film is Remember I’m Here. The short film contains interview with Ron Willard, whose late partner Todd Shinkle from Columbus, had a dream to design and create a flag to honor LGBT people who serve in the military. While a story about a dream, it’s also a love story and an effort by Ron to keep Todd’s dream alive. Ron’s mother who helped to sew the flag, also appears in the film.
Qualia invites you to see Tell on Friday evening at 7:30p, Friday May 2, in the Center on High, free of charge. The short film Remember I’m Here will be shown during the Qualia Conference on Gay Folklife on Saturday afternoon, May 3, the Center on High, also free of charge. Tom Murray: Documentary Filmmaker Tom Murray openly admits to getting a late start in life with filmmaking. Having studied filmmaking in his college years, and long term fan of documentary films, it was only in his “50+” years that he tackled his first feature length work. Inspired by his upbringing on a dairy farm in northern Illinois, Farm Family: In Search of Gay Life in Rural America was voted Best Feature Length
Documentary at the Philadelphia Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in 2004 and has been acquired by Viacom as part of the initial acquisitions for LOGO TV, the new Gay and Lesbian cable channel. Now a resident of the Gulf coast of Florida, in 2005 Tom completed his second feature, Fish Can’t Fly, which takes a look at the way in which Gay people of faith go about putting their spirituality and sexuality in harmony. His third feature documentary titled Almost Myself takes a look into the world of Transgender individuals. The film was inspired after meeting a Transgender woman who, twenty years after having surgery and living as a woman, is considering a return to life as a man again. The film received several honors, including the jury award for “Best Documentary” at the Tampa Intl. Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, and also the audience award for Favorite Documentary at the Southwest Film Gay & Lesbian Film Festival in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Tom‘s 4th film, Tell, continues the director’s tradition of taking a closer look at some of the lesser seen parts of LGBT culture. Conducting interviews with more than 14 LGBTQ military veterans and their allies, the film is sure to put a human face on the ongoing controversial policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell” which effects each and every Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender person who wants to join the military and serve their country. A Portable Tribe, Tom’s latest effort, is a lighthearted documentary film that not only explores the world of camping, but also takes a look at the lives of Gay men, their bonding, sense of brotherhood and quest to explore non-urban adventures. Portable Tribe is set for completion in early 2008. A second project of Tom’s is following the progress of Heroes, a shrine to LGBTQ people who have been murdered that visits cities in which the slayings take place. Tom will be showing Tell in its entirety on Friday evening at 7:30p in the Center on High, followed by a Q&A. On Saturday afternoon in the Center, he will be discussing the Heroes project. Admission is free of charge. APR 24 - APR 30 2008
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FEATURE STORY EVA SWEENEY I’m 24, Lesbian, just finishing college, and active in the Queer community. I also like to go out to bars, cafes, concerts, etc., with my friends. If I described myself like this, which is all true, you would think that I’m a typical young Queer in America. As we know, the Queer community has many facets: race, class, religion, gender identity. This makes our community rich and unique. But there is one identity that has been slightly ignored: disability. I am, in addition to all those characteristics listed above, physically disabled. I have cerebral palsy. For me, my cerebral palsy was caused by lack of oxygen to my brain during my birth. In my case, I use a wheelchair to get around and am non-verbal. I communicate what I want to say using an alphabet board and a laser-pointer. I require full-time attendants to help me lead my life the way I want to. When I first started exploring my unique identity, I wanted to find people like me. I searched online, called disability organizations, and GLBTQ organizations. Nobody had information pertaining to my identity as a queer disabled person. I felt lost, caught between two communities. The GLBTQ community, although it had no information for me, was welcoming. The disabled community, however,
ranged from being politely negative to downright rude. They always have been scared and discouraging about sex, even heterosexual sex. I have had experiences where organizations have hung up on me for asking the simple question, “Do you have information pertaining to the disabled Queer community?” Having these experiences not only made me feel alienated, but it also made me think of other people who might be calling and asking these same questions. In 2004, I started an organization to bridge this gap called Queers On Wheels. My mission is to create a community of disabled queers. Through education and outreach, I have started this process. In my workshops, I had people come up to me and say that they have never talked about this topic in their lives. That comment made me feel so good, like my work had an impact. Being disabled and Queer is not that different from being able-bodied and Queer; I’m involved in the same activities able-bodied Queers are. My hope and my goal with Queers On Wheels is to educated both the Queer community and the disabled community about our unique identities and to create a space for disabled Queers to talk about their lives. Qualia will have a teleconference call with Eva on May 3 at the Center on High during the Qualia Conference on Gay Folklife. APR 24 - APR 30 2008
KEYNOTE SPEAKER: DIANE GOLDSTEIN & THE ETHICS OF AIDS When Kevin and I went to our first American Folklore Society conference a few years ago in Madison, Wisconsin, we met Diane Goldstein and instantly fell in love with her. A brilliant and passionate woman whose heart is as open as her mind, we dreamed of bringing her to our Qualia Conference. This year, our dream has come true.
Here is a little bit about this wonderful scholar. Diane Goldstein is Professor of Folklore at Memorial University and is cross-appointed to the Memorial University School of Medicine in the Division of Community Health. She is the author of Once Upon A Virus: AIDS Legends and Vernacular Risk Perception (2004), co-editor with Heather Worth and Cindy Patton of Reckless Vectors: AIDS and the Infecting “Other” in Law, Ethics, Policy and Narrative (2005), and editor of one of the earliest interdisciplinary AIDS anthologies, Talking AIDS: Interdisciplinary Perspectives on Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (1991). Goldstein has been involved in health priority-setting and policy-making initiatives over the last ten years including an appointment from 1994-1997 to the Canadian HIV/AIDS National Planning and Priorities Committee, an advisory body responsible for the construction of Phase Two of the Canadian AIDS Strategy. Her ongoing interests include stigmatized illnesses, HIV/AIDS, health beliefs and cultural issues in health care, risk perception and management, public health law, rumour, legend and health narratives. More then any other disease, HIV/AIDS has challenged the construction of health expertise, questioning the credibility and claims of scientists, physicians and others in positions of power, and brought to the forefront a view of the researching, credible, political and active layperson. Diane Goldstein’s talk, “Building Bookcases: HIV/AIDS and the Rise of Lay Expertise,” will trace the role of HIV/AIDS in the development of health activism, medical consumerism, and challenges to medical authority. Please join us Saturday, May 3, at the Center on High for Diane’s talk.
FO’ DEM LADEEZ, FAST FRIDAY AND THE IDKE.X ROUNDTRIP HOME You want cutting edge GenderQueer entertainment served up with some hot buttered soul? Make sure to be in East Village on Friday evening, May 2. Fast Friday Productions, SuzieMuzic and Union have joined forces with Qualia for a fundraiser for IDKE.X, the tenth annual International Drag King Extravaganza. Sexy, Sexy, Sexy Fo’ Dem Ladeez brings women (and the extraordinary blend of people they surround themselves with) together using the wonderful power of music. What are they doing different you might be asking? Well, they’re mixing original live rap with a twist of gender-bending illusion and hot rhythm mixes into a Hip-Hop treat that is a feast for audiences’ ears, eyes and souls. It has been said it couldn’t be done, that social mores/norms would prohibit the idea ever getting off the ground. But they’ve done it with the infamous talents of gender performer Luster Dela Virgion, the sensational brilliance of sibling rap group, “UntoucablE,” comprised of Lesbian rapper UNECC with her multi-talented brother and resident Straight Guy, E, and the smooth groove of Transgender rapper DaLyrical. We know it is hard to believe but trust—Fo’ Dem Ladeez is guaranteed to be a night of great music and entertainment. Headliners DaLyrical, Unecc, [and UntouchablE] are also part of Bigg Nugg’s Unity Tour (http://www.myspace.com/biggnugg). These two talented LGBTQ MCs bring their high-energy performances each and every night. Over the past 10 years, both of these performers have taken the stage at various Pride Celebrations around the US. And with these two - you just never know who will appear while they are out and about on tour. Luster Dela Virgion is executive producer for IDKE.X Columbus 2008 (International Drag Kingcommunity Extravaganza (www.idkex.com) as well as the host of monthly gender-bender King Knights at East Village Video Bar & Café (www.columbusnightlife.com). Each and every month he has something fresh for the crowd.
IDKE homecoming “We are beyond excited to have the leading Drag King Kommunity conference and showcase in the world return to its birthplace October 16-19, 2008,” exclaimed Sile Singleton. “When we learned Fast Friday Productions had won the bid to host and produce, the four day event, that includes a two day conference, film festival, art show, youth/family stage and global talent showcase, we totally went berserk. “To have a dream that began as an idea tossed amongst a few friends, grow into the cultural icon it has become, at times, is downright unbelievable. What is even more exciting is the networking and co-sponsorship relationships we’ve developed with the Multicultural Center and GLBT Office at OSU, The Center at Stonewall Columbus, East Village Video Bar & Café, Experience Columbus, The Doubletree Guest Suites, Promowest at Lifestyles Pavilion, Wall Street Nightclub and a host of local, national and international businesses and organizations, in anticipation of this event,” Singleton said. Although it is a little more than 6 months away, Sile assures that it is not too soon to begin planning and signing up volunteers. In fact she states, “We are on our 2nd round of promo cards and have already distributed to DC, Oakland, Baltimore, Toronto, Austin, Chicago, Winnipeg, Seattle, Durham, Minneapolis and more. When we held the 1st IDKE in 1998, we had no idea what iceberg tip we had scraped. Three hundred folks showed up for the conference and over 700 for the Saturday night Showcase, we were running ragged trying to keep up with the demands of that many guests. Four years later, IDKE went on the road to Minneapolis, Chicago, Winnipeg, Austin and Vancouver. “The numbers have just about tripled and with people already making their travel arrangements to C-bus for next year there is no doubt about the positive economic impact IDKE will have on Columbus City pockets,” calculates Singleton. “We are just so proud and blessed.” For more info about IDKE.X Roundtrip Home email idkexcolumbus@yahoo.com, visit www.fastfridayproductions, or call 614-309-7626. Looking for some fall fun? Have the experience of a lifetime! Volunteer for IDKE.X (idkexcolumbus@yahoo.com)
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 19
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20 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
FEATURE STORY by Robert Feinstein
BLIND AND GAY I was born on December 1, 1949. I was three months early, and only weighed 1 lb. 14 oz. I was put into an incubator and, due to the amount of oxygen I was given, my retina cells developed too quickly, and became so damaged that by the time I was brought home from the hospital, I was totally blind. I of course have never seen and have absolutely no visual memories at all. My parents decided that they would try to treat me as normally as possible, and although I often heard the word “blind” I did not really know what it meant. When I was about 5 years old, I began to realize that I was different from other children. I heard children running around without being guided. Kids talked about coloring, drawing, and writing with a pencil. When I asked my mother, she told me that I would go to school and learn to read and write Braille. I knew I was different, but I of course did not understand the ramifications of my blindness, and took all in stride. The sound of the chalk When I was about 8 years old, I began to realize that other kids made friends more easily than I did. I went to a school far from my home, and was taken there by bus. There were other blind kids at the school, and I noticed that we all stayed together. When we did go to classes with the sighted kids, we were treated kindly, but were not fully included. I would sit for hours listening to kids read out loud from print books, or hear the teacher writing on the black board. I loved the sound the chalk made against the blackboard, but I realized that others could read what was being written, and all I could do was listen to the sound of the chalk. When I was 14 years old and in the ninth grade, I began to be teased by the other blind kids, because I mostly wanted to play with the girls, and did not want to participate in the rough games the blind boys played. They would play a kind of hockey with a large wardrobe and a crushed cigarette box. Where the wardrobe touched the wall on each side were the goals and the cigarette box was the puck. The blind kids played another game called “taxi,” where one of us would sit in a chair and the other would move the chair around the room very quickly. Because we were blind, the person pushing the chair would often bang into things. I was afraid of these games because I was always overweight, slow, clumsy, and I usually wound up getting badly hurt. I much preferred sitting and reading a Braille book, or talking to the girls. I even learned to bounce a ball, and learned some of the rhymes the girls would say while playing ball or jumping rope. I was teased unmercifully. I knew that I was very different from the other APR 24 - APR 30 2008
kids, and I felt horribly lonely. I didn’t fit in with the sighted kids, but what was worse, I didn’t fit in with the blind kids, either. All the boys were interested in sports and rough games. I wasn’t. Some talked about girls, but because I was blind from birth, and because nobody ever talked to me about sex, I had no idea what was being discussed. I am ashamed to say that I didn’t even know the difference between girls and boys, except that girls were usually nicer to me, and yet, I felt a strange feeling when hugging a male student. When I was 15 years old, a girl explained to me how babies were born. I wanted to ask more questions. What was all this talk about “hard-ons” and “erections?” But I knew that if I admitted how little I knew, I’d be laughed at, so I kept quiet. What is surprising, and very important, is that I began to realize that I was attracted to other boys and men, and not to women. I somehow knew that this was not the way it should be, and never mentioned it to anyone. Dating girls I spent 4 years at a well-known college in Ohio. I had finally figured out that I was Gay. I wondered if there were other Gay students, but did not know how to meet them. I tried dating girls, and forced myself to kiss them, but I knew it wasn’t working. When I was a senior, some students who I had heard were Gay decided to start a discussion group. I wanted to go, but was afraid to ask for directions to where the discussion was taking place, because I did not want others on campus to realize I was Gay. To understand my dilemma, it is important to realize that I was not able to fit in with the other students because of my blindness. I had some casual friends, but I was not part of any social group. I spent much time alone, or being read to by fellow students. I therefore was very uneasy about admitting that I was Gay because I was afraid I would be even more unaccepted than I already was. During my four years at college, I never had any Gay friends, and never even knew that one of my roommates was Gay. I went to France through an American program, and I stayed there for two years. I arrived in France after my graduation from college. I met two blind guys who were Gay. One was a fellow from Algeria, and the other was a blind French guy. I had my first experiences with them. I wanted desperately to meet other French Gay people, but was afraid to ask my classmates. I had no access to printed materials, and no way to try to meet French Gay people.
Ready to conquer the Gay world! When I returned from France, I decided I was going to try to meet Gay people. I was ready to conquer the Gay world! But how could I find information? I had nobody to read printed material to me dealing with Gay subjects. I had no way to know who was Gay and who wasn’t. I finally called a Gay hotline and was given the names and addresses of some Gay bars. I was told about a group called “Mirth and Girth,” which is for overweight Gay people. I remember my excitement when my guide dog and I set out for our first Gay bar. We got off the subway at Christopher Street, a street in the heart of Greenwich Village. I asked for directions to the bar, but once inside, I realized that this wasn’t going to work! First of all, the noise level was incredible! I couldn’t hear a thing. Second of all, because I couldn’t see, I had no idea what was going on around me. I was basically rendered deaf and blind because of the noise level. I sat at the bar, and felt worse and worse as time went by. Nobody tried to talk to me. I finally got the courage to tap the person next to me, and to try to strike up a conversation. The guy was polite, but after talking with him a while, he told me he was with someone. I realized that I had no way of knowing who was alone, who was with someone, and what was going on. I began to realize that being blind was proving to be a barrier in my meeting Gay people. I decided that, perhaps the problem was the fact that I was overweight. So, I decided to go to a Mirth and Girth dance. Surely there would be people much heavier than I was, and surely I’d have a better time. Well, unfortunately, the same thing happened. I was shown to a seat, and there I stayed. Nobody came over to talk to me. I finally left and vowed I would never try to meet Gay people in this way. It wasn’t working, and I was feeling worse about being blind and being Gay than I ever had in the past. Disappointed with the Gay Community I am disappointed with the Gay community, at least in NYC. I had thought that, because of the horrors of AIDS, Gay people would be sensitized to the needs of others. But this hasn’t been my experience. It seems that the Gay community is ready to help those who become blind from AIDS. They reach out to those suffering from AIDS. This is how it should be. But this compassion does not extend to those of us who are Gay and blind for other reasons.
What I am about to say may sound harsh, but it seems to me that if you are a person with AIDS, you gain a certain respect, even a certain prestige in the Gay community. Organizations are set up to help meet your needs. You are included, and you are helped. But if you are just an ordinary Gay person with a disability, you don’t have that certain “mystique”. You are made to feel like you do not belong. I know that many people with HIV suffer visual problems, and I would like to see more communication between people born blind like me and those who went blind later in life from HIV complications. I think we could teach each other a great deal, and broaden each other’s horizons. I wish Gay organizations would open their hearts to those of us who are not blind from AIDS or HIV, but who do need help with readers and companionship. Imagine walking down a heavily Gay populated street. You see a blind person with his guide dog. You probably don’t stop to ask yourself, “Is he Gay? Could he want to talk? Would we have something in common?” Just a glimpse I hope that I have been able to give you a glimpse of what life is like for me as a totally blind and Gay man. What is sad to me is that I have met some exceptionally kind Gay women, and some Straight men, with whom I have become friendly. But I want to have more Gay male friends. I ask only that I be accepted for who I am. It is of course important to realize that certain things are a must. First of all, it is imperative that any new friends I make understand that I need help with certain tasks: being guided, having things read to me, and having movies described. Also, it is important that anyone wanting to get to know me understand that my dog comes with me. I will never permit anyone to try to tell me I cannot enter with my dog, whether it be a restaurant, or a taxi. Remember, whether we can see or not, whether we can hear or not, whether we can walk or not, we are all human beings with the same needs, desires, wants, dreams, and hopes. We are not as different as our outward appearance would make you think at first glance. Qualia will have a teleconference call with Robert Feinstein on Saturday, May 3, during the Qualia Conference on Gay Folklife at the Center on High. Please join us for a Q&A with Robert!
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 21
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HEALTH
Part 3 of our month-long coverage for STD Awareness Month
Everyone’s favorite: Herpes
There are nearly 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in the U.S. each year, but obvious symptoms often don’t develop and many people who contract an STD are unaware they and their partners are at risk. With this in mind the American Social Health Association (ASHA) and National Coalition of STD Directors (NCSD) recognize April as National STD Awareness Month, and emphasize testing as a key component for sexual health. Here at Outlook, we strongly encourage everyone to get the facts about STDs and get tested. To that end, we are doing a month-long series on the topic to get you up to speed. Read, learn and then call your local physician, Columbus Public Health or Columbus AIDS Task Force and set up an appointment to get a screening. CPH and CTF both have free testing available, and as you’ll read later this month, CPH has streamed lined their process and “friendly-ed” up the place making it so you can get in and out in a reasonable amount of time and without the lecturing. With syphilis and HIV infection on the rise in Franklin County, we want you to be responsible, find out your status and then make the best-informed decisions. Together we can help bring infection rates back down.
Herpes Genital herpes is a common infection caused by one of two viruses: herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) or herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV2). Most genital herpes is caused by HSV-2. Most oral herpes, which often produces cold sores, is caused by HSV-1. More than 50 million adults in the U.S. have genital herpes. This adds APR 24 - APR 30 2008
up to more than one in five adults. Genital herpes is the most prevalent sexually transmitted disease (STD) in the U.S. Each year, there are 1 million new cases. Almost nine in 10 of all infected people are unaware they have genital herpes. Herpes persists in the body throughout one’s lifetime. It can be latent for long periods, without symptoms, and then become active, with recurring outbreaks. Symptoms usually appear within two weeks after infection. Though they vary greatly from person to person, symptoms can include: sores, blisters, fever and swollen glands, especially near the groin. Most signs and symptoms are mild and often not recognized as genital herpes. The first outbreak is often the most serious, since the body’s immune system has not developed a resistance to the virus. Even when there are no visible signs, herpes can be active. This phase is called “asymptomatic reactivation” or “asymptomatic viral shedding.” During this time, the herpes virus is on the skin’s surface and is contagious. Antiviral medicines can shorten herpes outbreaks and reduce the chance of recurrence. Thanks to public education and awareness campaigns, people know more about herpes than they did in the past. Who’s Likely to Get Herpes? Like many STDs, herpes is more easily transmitted from men to women than vice versa. Women’s risk of getting herpes is more than five times higher than men’s. The infection rate of African Americans is three times higher than that of whites. African Americans with the same number of sexual partners as whites still have a significantly
higher risk of herpes infection. antiviral drugs. People who are unaware that their Although using condoms can sigpartners are infected have a greater nificantly reduce the risk of genital risk of getting herpes. herpes, condoms don’t cover all genital areas and therefore cannot comHow Is Herpes Transmitted? pletely prevent transmission of the Herpes is transmitted by direct virus. skinto- skin contact when the virus Several antiviral medicines are is in an active phase, even if there safe and effective in treating herpes. are no visible symptoms. There are two treatment regimens: Typically, the virus is spread by episodic therapy, in which a person sexual activity, such as intercourse, takes medicine at the first sign of an oral sex and genital touching. outbreak (active phase with sympPregnant women with active her- toms); and suppressive therapy, in pes are at risk of transmitting the in- which a person takes medicine daily fection to their babies. in order to avoid outbreaks. Daily suppressive therapy with the Costs and Consequences antiviral drug valacyclovir can reThe direct medical costs of genital duce an infected person’s risk of herpes in the U.S. are nearly $300 transmitting herpes to an uninfected million ($292.7) a year. partner. One of the major complications of genital herpes is transmission to Public Health and Policy Issues newborns (neonatal herpes). This Without public health intervention, can cause developmental disabilities it is estimated that herpes cases will and fatal infections. continue to rise, so that by 2025, up A person with herpes has double to 40 percent of all men and half of the risk of getting HIV, the virus that all women could be infected. causes AIDS. HIV is more contagious Some experts advise the widefrom a person with herpes than it is spread use of accurate blood tests from an HIV-infected person without as a way to curb the spread of geniherpes. tal herpes. Diagnosis and education For some individuals, herpes car- is especially important for high-risk ries significant emotional burdens, groups, such as those who are inincluding anxiety, shame, depresfected with HIV and those who have sion, anger and fear of rejection. other STDs. Blood tests can now diagnose herPrevention and Treatment Basics pes even when no symptoms are Outside of sexual abstinence, the present, and can also distinguish surest way to avoid getting herpes is between HSV-1 and HSV-2. Some exto be in a long-term, mutually perts urge more widespread use of monogamous relationship with an these tests, especially in high-risk uninfected person. Prevention can populations, as a way to curb the also be practiced by refraining from spread of genital herpes. skin-to-skin contact with an infected Some experts also recommend person when the virus is in an active giving blood tests to pregnant phase. women as a way to decrease neonaOther ways to reduce the risk intal herpes. However, there are curclude: informing one’s partner, not rently no accepted guidelines for having sex during outbreaks, using routine herpes testing in pregnancy. condoms at other times and taking Some states require mandatory re-
porting of all cases of neonatal herpes as a way to get better data on this potentially devastating illness in newborns. By current estimates, there are more cases of neonatal herpes than of several other reportable diseases, including congenital rubella, congenital syphilis and gonoccocal opthalmia. A vaccine to protect against genital herpes is in clinical trials at the National Institutes of Health. If approved, the vaccine would be most effective if administered to youth before they become sexually active. This could prove to be controversial. Columbus Public Health no longer checks for Herpes.
Now go get tested! It’s easy. Either of these agency can help you out.
Columbus Public Health 240 Parsons Ave Columbus, OH 43215 (614) 645-7417 www.publichealth.columbus.gov Sexual Health Clinic hours: Monday 7:15am-3:30pm Tuesday 10:45am-7:00pm Wednesday 7:15am-10:30am Thursday 7:15am-3:30pm Friday 7:15am-3:30pm Columbus AIDS Task Force 1751 E. Long St. Columbus, OH 43203 (614) 299-2437 www.catf.net CATF Hours : Mon-Fri 9a - 5p
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 23
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DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD by Romeo San Vicente
NO KISSING FOR HAYDEN PANETTIERE In a Hollywood landscape littered with burned-out young female stars, Heroes regular and former child actor Hayden Panettiere stands outside of tabloid drama (save for the minor-league controversy of dating older Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia). She also stands a good chance of ascending to places others stumble to reach for. And Fox believes in her, too, having just acquired a project tailor-made for the young star. Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List, adapted from the novel by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan, involves a young woman and her gay best friend who form a friendship pact based on a list of people whom neither are allowed to kiss. When Ely kisses Naomi’s boyfriend, second-act conflict ensues. No word yet on shooting schedules, release dates, or even who’ll play the young men who lock lips, but expect them to be of the so-cute-you-can’tstand-it variety.
ELVIS AND ELTON’S SUNDANCE SPECTACLE
KIDMAN AND DENCH ADD TWO MORE TO NINE
Super-diva Elton John is moving into the TV production game, and he’s enlisted his friends. He’ll executive produce a new program for The Sundance Channel, to be hosted by singer-songwriter Elvis Costello, which will focus on musicians talking about what they know best: music. The show will be called Spectacle (a nod to the host’s trademark glasses) and will feature both interviews and performances by various musical guests. So far, Elton is the only announced guest, but the list of his famous pals isn’t exactly short. The series has already begun production and is scheduled to premiere this December. Here’s hoping the powers that be keep in mind the current sagging music industry and make those onetime-only performances available for online download.
Any self-respecting homosexual knows from watching Moulin Rouge that Nicole Kidman can sing and dance. But Judi Dench...in a musical? Don’t laugh. She played Sally Bowles in the original London production of Cabaret back in 1968, so she knows her way around a pair of jazzhands. And now the two Oscar winners are poised to add their talents to the cast of the film adaptation of the Broadway musical Nine, from gay director Rob Marshall (Chicago). A retelling of Federico Fellini’s film 8 ½, about a film director and the various women in his life, the film stars even more Oscar winners - Javier Bardem, Marion Cotillard, and Sophia Loren, to be exact, as well as Oscar nominee Penelope Cruz. The long-in-development project goes before the cameras later this year, with a possible 2009 release date, so the uninitiated still have plenty of time to get up to speed on the Broadway version.
KRESSLEY GETS NAKED AGAIN Carson Kressley knows how to give a makeover. He spent several seasons doing it on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, endearing himself to viewers with his witty, flamboyant demeanor. But let’s face it - sometimes that show’s approach seemed to baffle the hapless straight man caught in its grip and suddenly barraged with style tips, cooking lessons, back-waxings, and new furniture. Now, on this latest, more relaxed series, How To Look Good Naked, Kressley really shines. In the first season of the Lifetime series, the style guru helped regular women not only to dress better, but also to accept their bodies, no matter what their shape. And starting in July, another season of the heartwarming series begins, expanding from 30-minute to hour-long episodes. The nakedness of the title remains, but it’s the sweetest nudity TV has to offer.
Romeo San Vicente, it goes without saying, still looks good naked. Ask anyone. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.
ARTS by Lacey Luce
From Couture To Curator, Riffe Exhibition Shows Kleibacker’s Done It All Long before there was Project Runway, and before Joan Rivers first quipped “who are you wearing?” Columbus had Charles Kleibacker to show us what we needed to know about the world of fashion design. Now, a retrospective exhibition at the Ohio Arts Council’s Riffe Gallery takes a look at Kleibacker’s work as a curator of fashion-focused exhibitions and as a world-renown fashion designer. Kleibacker: New York Designer to Ohio Curator, opening May 8, is a journey into one man’s multifaceted career in the fashion industry - a journey that will include a rare opportunity to see original garments by such well-known designers as Balenciaga, Christian Dior, Galanos, Chanel, Isabel Toledo and Pierre Cardin - to name a few. Before he brought fashion know-how to Ohio, Kleibacker was a designer working in New York City. He didn’t, however, start out in fashion. He went from journalism to writing ad copy to working as a personal assistant to the cabaret singer Hildegard. It was on a trip to Paris in the late 1940s with Hildegard that Kleibacker got his first taste of the fashion industry and decided that he needed to be a part of it. He studied with professionals to learn the art of constructing fine garments. He paid his dues working for other designers, and then in 1960 he opened his own studio in one small room in New York City. By 1963 the KLEIBACKER label had expanded to a APR 24 - APR 30 2008
seven-room suite on West 73rd Street and stayed there until 1983. During his run as a designer, Kleibacker received praise from top media including Women’s Wear Daily, the New Yorker and the New York Post. He was particularly noted for his work with the bias cut - a difficult technique, not often used in the ’60s. He came to be known as the “master of the bias.” As his reputation grew, Kleibacker took on new challenges including teaching workshops and accepting residencies. It was in the early ’80s as a visiting professor to The Ohio State University that Kleibacker made his way to Columbus - and we haven’t let him leave. His role with OSU grew and soon he took on the task of building a collection of historical clothing for the university. In an effort to raise the profile of the Historic Costume and Textiles Collection, Kleibacker curated his first exhibition in 1986 - Memorable Dress/ Ohio Women. Since then Kleibacker has curated 10 more exhibitions for several institutions, including the Wexner Center for the Arts, Columbus Museum of Art, the Ohio Arts Council’s Riffe Gallery and Kent State University. Each exhibition unveils some new aspect of the world of fashion and always pays homage to the exquisite craftsmanship that goes into constructing fine garments. Kleibacker: New York Designer to Ohio Curator includes fashion photography, fashion illustration,
photographs that show original installation scenes from each of Kleibacker’s past exhibitions as well as, of course, amazing examples of haute couture and ready-to-wear clothing. For a chance to hear from Charles Kleibacker himself, come to the Riffe Gallery on May 8 for the opening night of Kleibacker: New York Designer to Ohio Curator. Charles will lead a tour of the exhibition at 5p, which will be followed by a reception from 6p-8p. If you can’t make opening night, mark your calendar for May 16. Charles Kleibacker will return to the Riffe Gallery to conduct another guided tour of the exhibition from noon to 1p. Go to www.riffegallery.org for more information about gallery hours, the exhibition and related events and to see images from the show. The Riffe Gallery is located in downtown Columbus on the first floor of the Vern Riffe Center for Government and the Arts, on the corner of State and High streets. Call 614.644.9624 or e-mail riffegallery@oac.state.oh.us. Lacey Luce is the marketing specialist for the Ohio Arts Council’s Riffe Gallery, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. CAMA’s mission is to promote awareness of and participation in the arts and cultural opportunities in Greater Columbus through collaborative marketing and public relations projects, and to provide professional development opportunities for members. For more information visit camaonline.org.
Kleibacker: New York Designer to Ohio Curator, May 8 – July 6, 2008 Opening Night: Thursday, May 8, tour at 5p reception at 6p Exhibition Tour: Friday, May 16, noon – 1p Riffe Gallery, downtown Columbus, Riffe Center, 77 S High St Free admission • www.riffegallery.org
Steven Stipelman’s 1995 illustration of a 1971 Kleibacker dress
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 25
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Health/dental/vision/401K! CLD-A 2 yrs exp. Apply online: cevalogistics.com or call 419.692.1200. EOE. HOUSING/FOR RENT BRYDEN ROAD Gorgeous, huge, luxury 3+ bdrm, fin. attic. Beautiful wood floors, large gourmet kitchen, dishwasher, pantry, tile island. Exposed brick, central air, sec. system. Great location: Easy on/off 70/71. Close to everything. Washer/dryer negotiable. $1,000 plus security. Call 202.360.7790 or visit the web tour: http://inthecityliving.com. OLDE TOWNE EAST 1096 & 1104 Bryden Rd, 1 BR apartments available, new kitchen, wd flrs, vaulted ceiling, $450/mo. More OTE rentals available. Call Beacon Property Mgmt. at 614.228.6700. OLDE TOWNE EAST 3-bedroom house in Olde Towne East. $900/month Quiet. gay friendly street. Fenced in yard with deck. Garage parking. Land contract option. If you have been to a bird bash party, this is the house. Call Jaybird for more information. 614.975.5569
APR 24 - APR 30 2008
26 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
APR 24 - APR 30 2008
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 27
INTERVIEW by Michael A. Knipp
‘The Ones’ That You Want Several years ago, native New Yorkers Paul Alexander, JoJo Americo and Nashom Wooden – who, together, resemble a mini-model United Nations – laid low by folding “Sex and the City” stylist Patricia Field’s famous fashions at her legendary Greenwich Village boutique. But, as it seems, it was all a ruse. A Clark Kentian subterfuge to conceal their collective identity, The Ones. This trio of trendsetters almost got away with the clever cover-up, too. In 2001, they released an infectious anthem, “Flawless,” which reached #7 on the official Top Ten U.K. Singles chart. Still, they slyly managed to avoid the stateside spotlight. As with all good below-the-radar alter egos, however, an underground existence is a limited engagement. Tensions are mounting, and their public is waiting. The Ones, who release their eponymous debut March 4, now have no choice but to show themselves. In all their glittering gregariousness. In a recent interview, The Ones – whose flair for the dramatic rivals the darkest of knights – discuss their transition from minimum wage to multitalented musicians; the gentrification of New York City nightlife; their album’s behind-the-scenes team, responsible for the Scissor Sisters’ massive success; and how, when it comes to super chic, they’ve got it on lock. Caped crusaders, beware. Because Gotham’s got a brand-new band. MICHAEL A. KNIPP: You guys met each other while working at Pat Field’s Greenwich Village boutique. How did you transition from selling camisoles together to cutting tracks? JOJO AMERICO: That was the beauty of working with Patricia Field – everyone there had something else going on outside of the store. Pat Field’s was an extension of our nightclub lives, so after working together in the day we would perform together at night.
MAK: All three of you are club bangers from way back. How did that scene influence this new album, and how has it changed since you first stepped onto it? NASHOM WOODEN: The scene is so much cooler than it used to be. With the Internet and YouTube there’s more access now to things that happened years ago or last night. We think that’s cool. It’s not like when we started going to clubs, times have changed but so have we. PAUL ALEXANDER: We were inspired by our club history in the lyrics to “Ultra Modern.” It is a tour though all the scenes we partied in. JOJO: Our friends in the NYC scene still really inspire us. There are so many smart and talented people hanging in NYC right now. We worked with our friends on this project and got advice and feedback from others. MAK: Does true downtown nightlife exist anymore, or has it all become so gentrified and mainstream that it’s all lost its luster and individuality? NASHOM: Gentrification is one of the drawbacks of accessibility. The more access to things, the more things get watered down. But the kids today are having the time of their lives, so it doesn’t matter how great things used to be. MAK: Even though you’re set to release your debut album, The Ones have been together for a while. In 2001 the group infiltrated the U.K. charts with the single “Flawless.” Why haven’t we heard much from The Ones stateside until now? PAUL: Well, we toured a lot through Europe on the strength of our first two singles, and the rest of the time was spent writing and recording. “Flawless” was the first song we had ever written together. We didn’t feel any pressure to rush it.
MAK: Do you think this album have what it takes to perform as well in the U.S. as your previous singles did in Europe? NASHOM: We think it can perform better. Some of these songs will appeal to a listener who would have never liked “Flawless.” However, we did include “Flawless.” There is a whole new generation of people who will love that too. MAK: The behind-the-scenes team on this album is well known for cranking out glittering glam albums. Have they lived up to their reputation? JOJO: Even more so! MAK: JoJo, you’re a DJ. Aside from your own music, what’s hot right now? What artists are knocking your socks off? JOJO: I love M.I.A., and I am living for Roisin Murphy. Also, the new Siouxsie album is thrilling me right now. MAK: You’re all very diverse, both racially and culturally. What are your ethnicities, and how have your individual upbringings played a part into what you’re able to bring to this group? JOJO: I am Italian and English. PAUL: I am everything that came through the Caribbean except Chinese as I was born in Jamaica. NASHOM: I am the decedent of African kings, and queens. We all grew up in New York City so we have that in common, but we had very different upbringings. JoJo brings a cool rock edge, Paul brings his love of classic dance music and hip hop, and I love pop and R&B. Put it all together and everyone is happy. MAK: I’m told that you guys appeared on the U.K.’s version of Bravo’s latest hit “Make Me a Supermodel.” Did you teach those bitches
how to walk a runway? JOJO: They truly were not ready for us. They were too scared to ask, but some of them needed to. PAUL: In the end all we did was perform our song, but we truly could have sat on the panel of judges. We know flawless when we see it. MAK: Of course, fashion and music have always gone hand in hand, and it seems that coupling hasn’t overlooked The Ones. What inspires your fashion? In turn, how does fashion inspire you? JOJO: History, art, music and the weather inspire our fashion. We just want to look good and live whatever fantasy is in our heads at the time. MAK: For someone who might not be particularly interested in the type of music on your new album – and I’ll admit, I’m probably one of those people – why should they pick it up? How would you introduce them to The Ones without scaring them off? PAUL: If your taste is electro-dance, we got you – the rock-edged “I Feel Upside Down” will do it for you. If your taste leads towards rap, “Ultra Modern” will interest you. “Lost” has the sound of great old school break beats. “When We Get Together” is just a beautiful song that reminds us of Sylvester and Patrick Crowley’s disco classics – although someone else thought it was more like a Madonna dance song. Without going all over the place, we tried to bring some variety to the album. Hopefully there’s a bit of it that everyone will like. Michael A. Knipp is a 26-year-old freelance writer and the founder of Line/Byline Communications. He can be reached at michael.knipp@gmail.com.
APR 24 - APR 30 2008
28 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
SEX TALK by Simon Sheppard
NASTY TALK
SPEAKING OF
Feeling chatty in bed? You could try sweet talk of the “I love you” variety, of course, or standard-issue porn dialogue like “That’s it, boy, screw that butt.” Both can be effective aphrodisiacs, but then there are those who prefer their repartee a little rougher. Does a potty mouth get you off? Well, rest assured that you’re not alone. Talking nasty while doing the dirty is the icing on many a crotch-cake. Sometimes just tone of voice can do the trick. As one submissive bottom points out, “There are men who say no more than ‘Suck my shaft,’ but say it in such a rough, commanding way that it makes me come.” Still, the twistedly talkative among us might well add an abusive word or two, as in: “Suck my big, hard shaft, you hungry homo whore.” Thinking back to pre-Internet times, one man recalls, “When I was young, I used to spend time on a phone sex line. One guy who was always on it was into verbal abuse, saying ‘fag’ this and ‘fag’ that. At the time, I thought it was offensive.” He grins. “But times have changed.” Verbal abuse scenes range from the occasionally disparaging to the downright debasing. But banter need not be vicious to be nastily hot; sometimes just crossing the line will do. “One fellow’s mildly vanilla is another’s wildly transgressive,” explains one much-bedded chatterbox. “I suppose if you’re just getting over a strict upbringing, the basic four-letter words can be titillating, but I get off on more hardcore stuff, things like calling a guy’s hole that good old dirty word for vagina.” In moments of lustful abandon, all sorts of otherwise unspeakable things - like ethnic or religious slurs - can be hot. Or not. Our foulmouthed chatterbox explains, “It’s tough to know in advance whether something I say will offend my partner or turn him on. With a new guy who seems open to verbal stuff, I’ll start out fairly easy, calling him stuff like ‘slut’ and ‘bitch,’ and maybe escalate from there, depending on how he responds. Sometimes things can get very, very sick, indeed.” It’s not just words that can be nasty thoughts can be, too. And sharing a forbidden fantasy can make screwing even more fun. APR 24 - APR 30 2008
Many of us harbor desires we’re too wise - or too scared - to make real. “There are plenty of things I’d never, ever really do that are still hot to imagine,” says one self-described pervert. “And when I talk about that stuff while I’m having sex, it can get really intense.” Speech is certainly a simple, safe way to explore taboo territory. Talking is an easier way than dressing in drag to engage in gender play. And in some cases, like incest-fantasy scenes, verbal role-playing is pretty much a prerequisite. Sure, some might object that verbalizing twisted stuff gives an OK to our darkest impulses, but others would counter that it provides a much-needed escape valve. Kinky talk can be persuasive, too: A few sexy syllables can transform a prude into a pig. Says one leather top, “A while back I started doing phone sex with a young guy who was pretty inexperienced. We got into more and more elaborate bondage fantasies, some of them pretty extreme, and eventually his crotch overcame his head’s reluctance to meet me. Now I take him to sex parties and tie him up.” Though it might qualify as safe sex, sharing your sleaziest self with a sex buddy is still not without perils. A domestic partner may not want to know everything about you. And if you’re going to tell a stranger about fantasies that might be seen as disgusting, immoral, or even illegal, you’d better be damn sure he’s discreet. Other dangers include misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and touching psychic sore spots. Oh, and running out of things to say. But, as our chatterbox explains, “There’s just so many nasty things you can say, but after a while, the repetition can get hypnotic. You know - ‘Take it, slut. Take it, slut. Take it, slut.’ It’s like a mantra.” If, as they say, the mind is the biggest sex organ, it’s good to keep in mind that a sex organ is a terrible thing to waste. Remember you can use your mouth for things besides giving head. So talk dirty and come clean. Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at SexTalk@qsyndicate.com. Visit Simon at www.simonsheppard.com.
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 29
SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage
Hey, everybody: If you missed last week’s column, I’m taking a week off because, well, go read last week’s column if you care to know. Here’s an old column - from May 24, 1995 - to tide you over until my return next week. It not only features my mother, but also my boyfriend’s very first mention in the column. And as you’ll see, last week wasn’t the first time I gave Mom the credit for my very curious career. - Dan
for the wrong reasons, like a pedophile working for the Boy Scouts.” “Or going into the priesthood?” [Icy silence.] “Maybe he should go see a shrink and find out why he’s into this.” Sound advice. If I may put in my own two cents: Amputee fetishism, while not as common as, say, leather fetishism, isn’t exactly unheard of. While I don’t personally have any knowledge of organizations for amputees and the folks who love ’em, perhaps someone reading this does and will write in. Meanwhile, what’s to stop you from taking out a personal ad seeking like-minded pervs and starting an organization of your own?
You recently wrote something about people who “are only attracted to amputees.” Well, I personally have been attracted to female amputees for as long as I can remember. Have other people written you about this amputee attraction phenomenon? I get very excited when I come across a single-legged girl crutching along, or encounter a pretty young woman with an empty sleeve dangling where an arm should be. Do you know of any clubs or organizations that cater to such an interest? Are there many others with this attraction, and where can I meet amputees?
What is the medical explanation for the fact that the skin of the penis is often darker than skin that is not exposed to sunlight? Does the bacteria a penis encounters while fucking have anything to do with this phenomenon?
AMP Fan
“Ask a doctor,” Ma sez. “That’s what I would do. Or better yet, don’t worry about things like this and, you know, have a life.”
My dear old Catholic ma came to visit me from Chicago recently - for a whole week. Mom stayed with me at my new apartment, where she got to meet my new boyfriend, which went something like this: “Isn’t he a little young?” “He’s 24.” “Well, he doesn’t look 24.” “You got me, Mom. He’s 12 years old. I’m the president of NAMBLA. I met him at Baskin-Robbins. I’m going to jail for this. But before I do, I’ll sponsor him at his confirmation, okay?” I bring up my mother not because she’s an amputee - just for the record, Mom still runs around on all fours - but because it was my mom who taught me everything I know about giving advice. During my formative years, I spent countless hours listening to my mother tell her sisters, her friends, and ladies from the parish to get their shit together. They came to her, she told them what she thought, and I drank it in. So, in honor of Mother’s Day, I let the ol’ gal have a go at this sex-advice thang. AMP Fan, here’s Mom’s advice for you: “Go and do some volunteer work at a hospital. Work in a rehabilitation institute for people who’ve lost a limb in a car wreck or something.” Sounds like Ma’s on your side. Did she really mean to say people attracted to amputees should lurk around hospitals? “Well, no, of course not. I just thought he could meet an amputee that way. I guess he’d be volunteering
Ken H
I have been living with my boyfriend now for two years. We have known each other for 17 years, but since we started living together things have escalated from serious to very serious. I love him, this is for sure. He is wonderful, honest, kind, and all that. This guy does not have a mean bone in his body. I even had an affair recently, told him, and he forgave me. The problem? I must be one of those people who has a constant wandering eye, and right now I think I am in love/lust with another man. It’s occurred to me recently that if it isn’t one love interest on the side, it’s another. I don’t want to lose my lover, but I know being honest would finish us off this time around, so what am I to do about this other guy? I guess there is a simple solution - confess and move on, but all I want is just to have sex with this other guy. Besides lying or telling the truth or talking about opening our bedroom, which my boyfriend has already objected to, what should I do?
be promiscuous.” Why? “Because we’re supposed to find someone we like and settle down with that person.” Why? “Because that’s what mothers want their kids to do, that’s why. It brings order to the world. Stability. So, in my opinion, you shouldn’t act on your feelings for this man who is not your boyfriend. Not all decisions should be based on how you feel.” As for your lover, “He sounds very nice and forgiving. Maybe too nice and too forgiving. Forgiveness is important, I’m a forgiving mom, but it sounds like he’s being a doormat. If monogamy is important to him, and you can’t control yourself, then maybe you two aren’t a match.” I’m mooning over this guy who works in a store up the street from my house. I gave him my number one day, hoping he’d get the message and call me, but, you guessed it, he hasn’t. He always smiles at me when I come into the store, and looks interested, but… nothing so far. I fell for this guy because he reminded me of this married guy I’ve been seeing who I think has fallen back in love with his wife. I’m about to give up and become a nun or something. What should I do? I am attractive, confident, and I’ve been told I’m the fantasy girl of every lover’s dreams more than once. Miserable In Belltown “Women who date married men are just being used - by men every bit as screwed up as they are,” says Mom. “And that man was probably never out of love with his wife. “I’m heavily into marital fidelity; I’m supportive of marital fidelity,” Mom continued, sounding like an unannounced Republican presidential hopeful. “I do think it’s possible to have a sexual relationship with a married man and not get hurt,” said Mom, suddenly sounding like a Democratic president, “but you have to know in advance that it’s not going to be anything more than sex. And most healthy people aren’t willing to settle for that.” As for the boy in the store, “He’s smiling at you to be polite; if he were interested he would’ve called by now. Stop wasting your time being interested in people who aren’t interested in you.”
On Fire “I think you should be monogamous,” says Mom. “I think everyone should be monogamous.” Why? “I don’t think we were meant to
Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net
APR 24 - APR 30 2008
30 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
ABOUT TOWN
The Laramie Project at the McCoy Arts Center with Judy Sheppard
THURSDAY, APRIL 24, 7P
violent people? And if we are, can the problem be amended? Can we treat each other
10 years ago the small sleepy town of Laramie, Wyoming was changed forever. The New Albany High School Drama Department is proud to present a very important production about one of the most publicized hate crimes in America, The Laramie Project. This is a deeply engaging story about the brutal, senseless killing of 21 year old college student, Matthew Shepard, and the impact that event has had on a community and the nation. Based on interviews with over 200 people from the town of Laramie, Moisés Kaufman and the Members of the Tectonic Theatre Project wrote this internationally acclaimed play. The play recounts the shock and confusion the citizens of Laramie felt after hearing the details of Matthew’s assault. There was a strong desire to move forward and a great deal of introspection about what had happened to their idyllic town after this tragedy. The Laramie Project is a plea for tolerance. It also teaches us about our American identity. Are we really cruel, hateful,
Director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation facilitating an audience, cast and crew discussion. Thomas holds a Masters of Education degree in Adolescent Risk and Prevention from the Harvard Graduate School of Education.
In addition, please join us for a unique opportunity to hear Matthew’s Mom, Judy Shepard speak at a free Community Open House Event, sponsored by Limited Brands, Inc. on May 2nd at 5:30pm at The Jeanne B. McCoy Community Center for the Arts. For tickets to this free event please call 614-413-8611.
as equals? Can we come together to begin the process of erasing hate in our communities?
Performance Dates April 24th – April 26th and May 1st – May 3rd at 7:30p April 26th and May 4th at 2:30p; Mershad Hall at The Jeanne B. McCoy Community Center for the Arts
Special Events At the conclusion of each of the performances beginning May 1st, we are honored to have Thomas Howard, the Educational
Tickets For tickets call 614.413.8354 – Tickets to these shows are limited so please call in advance to reserve your seats!
Former Vice President Al Gore at Value City Arena SUNDAY, MAY 4
Former Vice President Al Gore will bring his message of environmental sustainability to the campus of The Ohio State University. As the forty-fifth Vice President, Gore is taking the initiative to tell the world about An Inconvenient Truth. In his gripping speeches, Al Gore persuades people to think of global warming not as a political issue, but as a serious threat that is harming our global civilization. Gore believes that because of the destructive things that we are unconsciously doing to our environment, we are creating a “planetary emergency.” In his presentation, Gore will address the role of the local community and universities in leading
the way to a greener future. Gore is the author of An Inconvenient Truth, a best-selling book on the threat of and solutions to global warming, and the subject of the movie of the same title, which has already become one of the top documentary films in history. In 2007, An Inconvenient Truth was awarded two Academy Awards for Best Documentary Feature and Best Original Song. Since his earliest days in the U. S. Congress 30 years ago, Al Gore has been the leading advocate for confronting the threat of global warming. His pioneering efforts were outlined in his best-selling book Earth in the Balance: Ecology and the Human Spirit (1992). He led the Clinton-Gore Administration’s efforts to protect the envi-
ronment in a way that also strengthens the economy. Gore joined Dr. Pachauri of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change to accept the Nobel Peace Prize in 2007 for their efforts to put an end to global warming. Tickets ($37.50 – plus service charges)are available at the Schottenstein Center Box Office and Ticketmaster. Charge at 614.431.3600 or print your tickets today with ticketfast at ticketmaster.com
COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: MAY 14, 6P-8P; LOCATION: BOMA - 583 E BROAD ST; SPEAKER: KELLY AUSTIN, SANDLER SALES INST. WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM
APR 24 - APR 30 2008
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 31
fin
THE LAST WORD by Chris Crain
KICKED BY A ONE-TRICK PONY ENDA has been the end-all be-all for the movement for a decade, and the ripples from that decision are now at high tide. This week was the last for Matt Foreman as executive director of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, and in a media conference call on Tuesday he offered his own view about the direction LGBT rights might take in Washington in coming months. Foreman’s five-year tenure at the Task Force was a controversial one. On the one hand, he brought greater financial stability to an organization that has always seemed to operate on a shoestring, and he expanded the number of concrete projects and programs to complement the grassroots outreach for which the D.C.-based org is known. But it was his spirited leadership in the divisive fight over the Employment Non-Discrimination Act that will mark Foreman’s time at the Task Force. Last fall when gay Congressman Barney Frank (DMass.) and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) decided there weren’t enough votes to pass ENDA with transgender protections included, they reintroduced the measure in the same form it had taken since 1996 – as a measure that protected “sexual orientation” only. Foreman and the Task Force rallied transgender allies and a grassroots network of local LGBT groups, forming a coalition with the Orwellian name of “United ENDA” that actually opposed “GLB” workplace protection because the “T” had been taken out. He was an unlikely leader for that effort, since as
head of New York’s Empire State Pride Agenda it had been Foreman who cut a deal with George Pataki, then the state’s Republican governor, to cut “gender identity” from a LGBT rights bill that had been stalled for years. Foreman took heat for doing so, even though it resulted in passage of the act. With all the fervor of a reformed smoker, Foreman attacked as immoral those who were adopting the same tactics on ENDA that he himself had espoused in New York just six years earlier. It didn’t hurt that his progressive stance made for an excellent contrast with the staid Human Rights Campaign, whose director Joe Solmonese had foolishly promised trans activists he would never back ENDA without “trans” included. Now in his last day at the Task Force, Foreman was wholly unrepentant about the ENDA debacle – even as Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy announced he would introduce the bill in the gay-only form that eventually passed the House. But Foreman was willing to acknowledge that the ENDA battle had left some serious scars on the bill itself, and he lamented how it had become the movement’s “one-trick pony” over the years. This “very small bill,” as Foreman described it, took the top spot on the “gay agenda” because Barney, HRC’s Elizabeth Birch and other movement leaders in the early 1990s decided to trim down the broader gay rights bill pushed by Bella Abzug and
others since the early ’70s in favor of a more limited bill that had the best chance of passage. Whatever your view about the “trans-or-bust” debate last fall, it’s clear that ENDA is no longer the golden child most likely to succeed: whether as a trans-inclusive bill that lacks support even among House Democrats, or as a gay-only bill that generates public bickering within the movement, leaving even friendly politicians with no-win options. I asked Foreman whether movement leaders ought to step back and reconsider the federal legislative agenda and whether to prioritize other issues that involve actual discrimination by our government, like “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” or relationship recognition. “We as a movement probably made a mistake a long time ago about what our priorities would be,” allowed Foreman, since as it turned out that ENDA as a gay-only bill stalled even when Democrats controlled one or both houses of Congress and the White House. At the same time, he nodded to the political reality that “the bills debated the longest are at the head of the queue,” meaning ENDA isn’t going anywhere from its perch at the top of the agenda. Foreman said his “biggest fear” is that even if a Democrat takes the White House and the party solidifies its control over Congress, they will enact ENDA and declare that’s enough for the gays for the
new president’s first term. The ripple effect of that “mistake” in agendasetting more than a decade ago is now rolling in at a very high tide. On the same call, the Task Force leadership talked about how they are working now to do what critics said they should have been doing all of last year, lobbying Congress for a trans-inclusive ENDA. That’s a boon for transgender Americans, the vast majority of whom don’t even identify with “the LGBT community,” but it’s a diversion of precious resources on several levels. Lobbying for an inclusive ENDA means they’re pushing already gayfriendly members to also support trans protections, rather than working for a veto-proof majority that might get ENDA done this year. Because of the “first come, first served” reality that Foreman described, the long slog for a fully-inclusive ENDA only further defers the real dream of the gay rights movement - relationship recognition - from finally getting its day in Congress. Chris Crain is former editor of the Washington Blade and five other gay publications and now edits GayNewsWatch.com. He can be reached via his blog at www.citizencrain.com
HOROSCOPES by Jack Fertig
ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): Hassles at home and opportunities at work, feeding each other, make you wonder where your loyalties should lie. Digging in and working on domestic problems will help you see more professional opportunities. Time alone meditating will help you focus and deal.
CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): Arguments with your partner should be less about who is right and more about what is right. Keep an eye to the long run, which is more important than any current tiff. Ceding a point or two can lead to terrific make-up sex.
LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Demands from community or family may seem both a shelter and a diversion from hassles at work, but tending to your roots should help you toward success. You may need to rethink the context of your relationships. Colleagues offer surprisingly helpful suggestions.
CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan 19): Of course you’re right, but if you can’t figure out how to make your partner right, too, there won’t be any peace. Word games and poetry could provide keys to reconciliation. Logic is not your friend here.
TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): With your birthday at hand, the years seem to be piling up fast and furious, but with age comes experience and power. Fast and furious may serve you well. Keep your ideals and goals in focus to avoid needless arguments and to win the necessary ones.
LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): Your health should be good these days. Worrying about it will make real problems worse, and imaginary problems seem more real. Sex is especially good therapy, as is anything that strengthens your relationship and eases your soul.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Being open to new ideas, especially if they challenge long-held notions, can help you work better with others and understand your place among your colleagues. A playful approach to tough questions can help. So will traditional wisdom in new contexts.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): Emotional upsets can make you especially cranky. Taking time alone would do everyone a favor, especially yourself. Imagine an impulse purchase. What would it be? Consider the difference between your desires and your needs.
GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20): Sexual desires are easily satisfied now, but at what cost to deeper emotional needs? How do you imagine your love life and relationships in 20 years? Discuss these questions with someone whose experience and authority you can trust.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22): Tough times are challenging you, but you’re rising to the occasion and looking fabulous. Speak out on issues that concern you. Don’t be shy! Evil queens from cartoons can inspire you to be as evil a queen as you need to be.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 20): You should be making money this year - but where your finances intersect with those of others, there may be trouble. Reconsider any shared investments and joint accounts. Confusion at home can be the first step toward clarity.
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 19): Rather than giving in to those primal urges, consider the benefits of delayed gratification. It’s basically an exercise in creative vision, which is your strongest talent. You’ll find inner reserves you didn’t realize existed.
Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.
APR 24 - APR 30 2008