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ORE L A G OTS H S SHAP • R E TEACH R INTERVIEW O F T O H • : CATIE CURTIS
2 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com
SNAPSHOT Photos by Traut and Chris Hayes
SEPTEMBER 10 - NETWORK COLUMBUS @ CLUB DIVERSITY: IT WAS ANOTHER PACKED EVENING AT YOUR FAVORITE NETWORKING EVENT IN TOWN. PEG BUEHRLE GOT UP ON THE BAR AND DID AN INTERACTIVE PRESENTATION ABOUT INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION. IT WAS A HOOT AND INFORMATIVE!
ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mette Bach, Danielle Buckius, Wayne R Besen, Chris Crain, Jennifer Vanasco, Tom Moon, Regina Sewell, Leslie Robinson, Gregg Shapiro, Mick Weems, Julianne French, TF Barton, Romeo San Vicente, Jeff Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Tristan Taormino, Dennis Vanke, Mario Pinardi, Rick Kramer, Aaron Drake, Jennie Keplar, Scott Varner, Derrik Chinn, Dan Savage, Felice Newman, Tim Curran, Chris Hughes, Stephen J Fallon, Felice Newman, J. Eric Peters, Crystal Hawkins, Brent Wilder, Matthew Burlingame, Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Matthew Veritas Tsien, Cheri Meyers
SEPTEMBER 9 - PRIDE LEADERSHIP/PROJECT DIVERSITY NETWORK CAFE @ FRANKLIN PARK CONSERVATORY: MEMBERS OF THE UNITED WAY’S BOARD TRAINING PROGRAMS ENJOYED BREAKFAST AND SCHMOOZING WITH NON-PROFITS ON THE HUNT FOR NEW WORKHORSES. GIDDY-UP!
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SEPTEMBER 8 - LION KING CABARET EVENT BENEFITING COLUMBUS AIDS TASK FORCE AND KALEIDOSCOPE @ BOMA: MUSICAL THEATER CONNOISSEURS INVADED THE BAR OF MODERN ART FOR FREE APS, OPEN BAR, AND A PRIVATE CONCERT BY MEMBERS OF THE CAST AND CREW OF LION KING. THEIR RENDITION OF DEBRA COX’S “HOW DID YOU GET HERE” HAD THE CROWD ON ITS FEET AND THROWING SHOES. IT WAS OFF THE HOOK! THE EVENT RAISED $15,000.
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READERSHIP: 210,000 PEOPLE / MONTH Outlook Weekly is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. every Thursday throughout Ohio. Outlook Weekly is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over copies of Outlook Weekly with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in Outlook Weekly are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. Outlook Weekly does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2008 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008 VOLUME 13 NUMBER 12
SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........3 COMMENTARY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ......4, 6 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........8 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........11 EXAMINED LIFE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........13 EARTH TALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........15 FEATURE: GAY CONVERSION THERAPY . . . . . . 16-20 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........22 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........22 INTERVIEW; CATIE CURTIS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........24 PUCKER UP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........26 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........27 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........29 SPOTLIGHT : HOT FOR TEACHER . . . . . . . . . ........30 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........31 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........31 NEXT WEEK: GOHI: REMEMBERING BERWICK
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 3
ABOUT TOWN
by Chris Hayes
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 HEY MUTTLEY, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! The Little Dog Laughed @ Columbus Performing Arts Center /Davis Center, 549 Franklin Ave, Evolution Theatre Company (ETC) will open its 200809 season with the Ohio premiere of The Little Dog Laughed, Douglas Carter Beane’s award-winning Hollywood comedy of fame, fortune and self-deception. It involves rising Hollywood actor Mitchell Green, who, as his industry-obsessed agent, Diane, claims, “has a slight recurring case of homosexuality.” The situation is further complicated when, on the brink of his star-making role, the actor falls for Alex, a sensitive male prostitute, who in turn, is sexually involved with Ellen, a bored, drifting party girl. Contains adult subjects and language and partial nudity. Th-Sun through Sep 27. 8p; $10-$12.
Velvet Underground tribute featuring Robert Forster September 13; a conversation between John Waters and Vincent Fremont October 3; and a symposium November 14–15. Through Feb 15. Tue-Wed, Sun 11a-6p and Thu-Sat 11a-8p; $8, $5 <18/>65, mem/students free.
TRANSCONTINENTAL DADDY LOVE Chris & Don: A Love Story @ Wexner Center for the Arts Film/Video Theater , 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: Chris & Don tells the true story of the three-decade relationship between British writer Christopher Isherwood and American painter Don Bachardy, thirty years his junior. The film traces their shared and separate lives from Isherwood’s time in Weimar-era Germany (the inspiration for his Berlin Stories, itself the basis for Cabaret) to their first encounter in Malibu in the 1950s to Bachardy’s artistic triumph away from the shadow of his famous life partner. 90 mins. Thu–Fri, 7p; $7, $5 members.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 TIME FOR CHANGE Columbus Pagan Pride Day @ Blendon Woods Metropark in the Dogwood Reservable Area, 4265 E. Dublin-Granville Rd, Westerville, 43081, threecranes@threecranes.org: Three Cranes Grove, ADF, would like to invite you to celebrate Columbus Pagan Pride Day and the Autumnal Equinox! The entire event is free and open to the public. The day features educational programs including: Meditation Techniques; Sarah and Abby’s Art Class; Potluck; Divining for Dollars; Hands-On Energy Manipulation; and How to Quit Being a Novice. The main ritual will be at 7p, and a potluck will follow the rite. 10a-8:30p; one canned food item for donation.
STAY WITHIN THE LINES Drawing a Fine Line @ Studios on High Gallery, 686 N High St, 614.461.6487: The 20-year-ole Short North Gallery owned and operated by 17 local artists is featuring two local, Columbus artists who specialize in drawings: Sandy Reddig, pastels and Rhonda Bartoe Tucker, colored pencils. An artist’s reception will be held, tonight from 6p-8p. All artwork displayed is original and one of a kind. Artists daily demonstrate their work in various media: oil paintings, pastel paintings, colored pencil drawings, watercolor paintings, prints, acrylic paintings, ceramics, fine jewelry, fine art glass, wearable hand crafts and polymer clay jewelry. Through Sep 30 Mon-Sat 12p-6p, and Sun 1p-6p; free. HOW TO TURN A RED STATE BLUE As Ohio Goes …Our Role in the 2008 Election @ The Ohio Historical Center , I-71 and 17th Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: The old saying, “As Ohio goes, so goes the nation,” will once again be tested in this year’s November election. To that vein, OHS is hosting a political panel discussion as part of its Community Conversations series to discuss the 2008 elections in Ohio and the importance of the Buckeye State in past elections. Panelists include: Mark Weaver, a Republican political strategist; Greg Haas, a Democratic political consultant; Pamela Hashem, a Republican fund-raising consultant; and Derrick Clay, a Democratic political consultant. The panel discussion will be moderated by Mike Curtin, associate publisher emeritus for The Columbus Dispatch. 7p; $4-$8. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19 FACTORY MADE Andy Warhol: Other Voices, Other Rooms @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: An internationally touring exhibition on view in its only U.S. stop. The installation will fill all of the Wexner Center’s galleries (and beyond), featuring a spectacular design that will allow for experiencing Warhol’s work across all media - truly, Warhol like you’ve never seen it before. Key dates include:
KNOCK OFF THAT RACKET! Raising Hell @ Shadowbox Cabaret, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, shadowboxcabaret.com: Shadowbox takes audiences on a wild ride this fall with this brand-new themed production. Original sketch comedy and heart-pounding rock ‘n’ roll unveil sinful temptations and show that naughty is sometimes nice and can always be hilarious when Shadowbox is Raising Hell. Through Nov 15. Thu 7:30p; Fri&Sat 7:30p&10:30p; $20-$30.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS 34th Annual Victorian Village Tour Of Homes @ various homes, www.victorianvillage.org: The 34th Annual Victorian Village Tour of Homes and Gardens, presented by Dooley & Company Realtors, will open its doors and garden gates today. “This years Tour of Homes and Gardens is a wonderful collection of residences ranging in size and scale and style that will appeal to many different tastes ”, said Joe Spinelli, who is this year’s returning tour chair. “ The 10 homes showcased on this year’s tour illustrate the beauty of our neighborhood, whether it is in the form of a one year old new build or a 100 year old restoration.” 10a-6p; $20. TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23 AS EASY AS 123 XXY @ Wexner Center for the Arts Film/Video Theater , 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: The latest gem amid the riches of recent Argentine cinema, XXY is a brave and sensitive portrait of teen and gender angst as 15-year-old Alex, born intersexed and raised as a girl, is pressured by her parents to “choose” a gender. The film was Argentina’s entry for the 2007 Best Foreign Film Oscar and is one of the most memorable - and ambiguous - coming of age films of late. 91 mins. Tonight & tomorrow 7p; $7, $5 members. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 NOT JUST TO GET SHNACKERED Wine Tastings For a Cause @ Sher-Bliss is supporting Team America the Boobiful in the Breast Cancer 3-Day Komen for the Cure with a sampling of fine wines by female winemakers from around the world. They will open their tasting room and provide appetizers and chocolates, plus 10% of the evening’s sales will be donated to the team. Come have fun and kick off breast cancer awareness month, celebrate Fitness Day and show our support to this Columbus-based team! Grab a group of friends and join us! 7p-9p; $10. SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
4 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
The Reader Poll
COMMENTARY by Wayne Bessen
Last week we asked:
EX-GAYS AND EX-REPUBLICANS The first thing that struck me about the Republican National Convention in St. Paul was the stunning lack of diversity. Only the GOP is capable of making Minnesota whiter. Into this cocoon of Caucasians stepped the ultra-pale John McCain and his moose-whacking VP, Sarah Palin, who together could have billed the ticket as “Powder and Gun Powder.” This convention proved that the GOP does not run on actual persons or positions, but manufactured personas and plot lines. The phony dog and pony show began with the enormously wealthy Mitt Romney, a former governor of Massachusetts, who oddly condemned the snooty northeastern elite. This pampered pretty boy was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, yet he haplessly works to fool blue-collar conservatives into believing that that the shiny utensil is aluminum. Has any politician ever been more “Full of Mitt?” The most fantastical fiction of the week was the Cinderella story of “Sarah Palin.” The only White House anyone ever thought she would live in was an igloo, yet there she was on America’s largest political stage. The joyous thrill from her two main constituencies - the religious right and the tabloids - was palpable. Palin portrayed herself as a reformer, even though she was for the infamous, “Bridge to Nowhere” before she was against it. She touted her experience as head of Alaska’s National Guard, until it was shown that she had not made one executive decision in this capacity. Then, she was lauded for her anti-corruption efforts in Alaska, even as she was under serious investigation for abusing her power. Most disturbing, Palin described herself as an advocate for special needs children, as she cut the state’s Special
Olympics budget in half. It is scary to think that McCain believes Palin has enough foreign policy know-how to run this nation during a time of war. Indeed, his vice presidential pick did not get a passport until 2007. There are literally college-age backpackers traipsing around hostels in Europe with more overseas experience. As for McCain, convention speakers endlessly recounted his time as a POW. It truly was inspiring the first twenty-seven times I heard it. I suppose reliving the past is what a candidate, no matter how heroic, must do who has no plan for the future. McCain’s speech was as empty as the vault used to hold the national surplus after eight years of Republican rule. It was also fascinating to watch McCain portray himself as an agent of change. His message essentially was to re-elect Republicans to reform America from the mess that the same Republicans got us into. This was highlighted by the GOP’s Herculean efforts to render George W. Bush invisible. If they had shoved Bush any deeper into the closet, he would have bumped into Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID). Cheering on the sidelines was baroness Cindy McCain, wearing an outfit that Vanity Fair priced at $300,000. Republicans went bonkers when John Edwards got a $400 haircut - yet seemed ambivalent about her majesty’s opulent costume. I suppose the GOP is the party of the working class, if you count the minions toiling on Cindy’s dress, jewelry, make-up and hair, as well as tending to McCain’s private jet plane. The convention’s most pleasant surprise was its lack of overt gay bashing. Perhaps, attacking gays is not polling as well as it did only a few
years ago. Or, maybe “Family Values” was an inappropriate theme considering Palin’s “Family Vaudeville.” But, gay Log Cabin Republicans had little time to rejoice before Palin’s church said that being gay was a choice. The Wasilla Bible Church was caught promoting Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference, with a Bible insert that said, “You’ll be encouraged by the power of God’s love and His desire to transform the lives of those impacted by homosexuality.” It is imperative that Palin answers whether she agrees with the views of her church. If she does, Log Cabin should immediately withdraw their endorsement of McCain. Unfortunately, Palin will not talk to reporters until the GOP believes she is ready to go without her training wheels. The smokescreen her campaign is using to justify her silence is that she should not have to discuss her religious beliefs. Interesting, how a woman who recently asked Alaskans to pray for a natural gas pipeline now believes religion is off limits. If Palin says that she endorses Love Won Out, it could cost McCain the election. Consider this: In 2000, national exit polls put the gay vote at 4 percent, with 25 percent saying that they voted for Bush. This translated into one million gay votes for W, which may have cost Gore Florida and New Hampshire. While homosexuals can’t be turned into exgays, Palin’s support of such ministries could create enough ex-Republican gays to swing the election in favor of Obama.
Have you ever gone through some sort of gay conversion therapy?
© 2008 Wayne Besen. All rights reserved. Anything But Straight, www.waynebesen.com.
NO 78% YES 22% NEXT WEEK’S QUESTION:
What’s Your Favorite Berwick Ball Memory? Log on to: www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.
32% SO U RC
SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
E : USA TODAY
CATEGORY
NOV 2 ’04
SEP 15 ’08
DIFFERENCE
AMERICAN DEAD
1,122
4,156
2,382
AMERICAN WOUNDED
8,124
30,634
22,510
IRAQI CIVILIAN DEAD
16,342
95,504
NATIONAL DEBT
$7,429,629,954,236
$9,682,116,996,293
DAYS ‘TIL 2008 ELECTION
1,463
50
79,162 $2,252,487,042,057 (1,413)
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 5
SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
6 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
COMMENTARY by Mickey Weems
THE MOMENT OF TRUTHINESS The major players for the presidential election are in place: Barack Obama and Joe Biden representing the Democratic Party, John McCain and Sarah Palin for the Republicans. Let’s turn our attention away from these fine candidates’ credentials in the real world, and see how they weigh in as bearers of truthiness. “Truthiness” is a term coined by Stephen Colbert that privileges gut feeling over fact. In many ways, truthiness in politics is the art of cosmetics: hide that which is ugly, and highlight that which is attractive, unless you are speaking about your opponent. In that case, do just the opposite. The B-J Ticket Let’s start with Barack and Joe. Normally, I’d call them by their last names. But since this is about truthiness, I’ll call them by their first names. A major goal of truthiness is to make people believe that they actually know the candidates. About 50% of Barack’s acceptance speech was a McCain-bashing series of sound bites (how fitting a term!) aimed right at John’s old war-torn ass. The pundits hailed Barack’s attack-dog strategy as bold and assertive. I thought he sounded too much like a Karl Rove agent who switched sides. Surely Barack doesn’t expect me to vote for him just because he and his spin machine can throw verbal punches at a target that wasn’t there. They have an ad that says, “He can’t even remember any more how many houses he has”; sounds like a veiled reference to Alzheimer’s. Shame on them. In the other half of Barack’s speech (which was about 30 minutes too long), he made a passel of promises that were excellent in principle, but he knows he can’t keep. Please, Senator. Don’t just woo us with change we can believe in. How about toning your message down a notch, and give us real talk about change that is actually possible? Joe Biden: I have never seen a candidate eat so much crow. Joe went from belittling Barack for lack of experience to singing Barack’s praises, like he suddenly saw the light on the road to Damascus. His esteemed colleague John McCain, the man who Joe had once praised for being seasoned, forthright, and independent, Joe now belittles whenever he can. Anything Joe says about either Barack or John means nothing to me. In order to become vice president, Joe Biden has sold himself to the highest bidder. I’m not convinced Joe would treat Barack any better than he’s currently slamming John, had McCain tapped Joe first for the job. Joe, Hillary and Bill must have been about ready to collectively hurl after pandering onstage to the SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
one man they had agreed, without a doubt, was not ready for the job. John and Sarah Sitting In A Tree... Before all you flaming liberals get your Emporio Armani panties in a wad, read on. It’s John and Sarah’s turn. Nobody can say anything against John without him or his handlers bringing up his years in a Hanoi prison. It has been used as an excuse for almost everything, including his recent inability to say how many homes he owns, why he cheated on his first wife, his bad temper, carpet-bagging his way into becoming a senator from Arizona, etc. But let’s take John seriously on this issue. If only those heroes who have been cruelly and unjustly imprisoned by a foreign government and beaten for over 5 years are fit to be president, then John should have chosen one of the former residents of Gitmo to be his running mate. John reached new heights of truthiness with an inspirational POW story (remarkably similar to one attributed to Soviet dissident Alexander Solzenitzyn, one of John’s favorite authors) about a prison guard who drew a cross in the sand to secretly affirm his Christian faith. When I heard it, I almost purged from too much naked Christian Fundamentalist butt-smooching. John and his spokespeople label Barack an uppity elitist celebrity who hates our wounded troops (John got a little help from the Pentagon on that last one), will raise taxes on hard-working Americans until the middle class vanishes, etc., all of which are patently false. For all his wild promises, Barack is not elitist. He loves our troops at least enough to want them out of harm’s way (and give them decent medical care), and isn’t so stupid that he would single-handedly destroy our economy. I think John was confusing Barack with Dick “L’état c’est moi” Cheney and his boy George. The difference between the two smear campaigns is simple: Barack’s truthiness distorts the facts about John, while John’s attacks against Barack go beyond truthiness to outright bold-faced lies. On to Sarah, the sassy governor of Alaska, hockey mom and gun-toting Christian carnivore! She is a housewife who was on her high school basketball team. Her nickname was “Sarah Barracuda” and she led the team prayer before each game (I’m getting sick again, pass the barf bag, please). Like Cindy McCain, she was a former beauty queen contestant. Unlike Cindy, Sarah still has the bloom of youth in her cheeks. And in her face.
This is the big GOP elephant in the room. John is ever the dirty old man. But let’s look at this as a positive thing. Got to give it to John, wink, wink, light punch on the POW stud-puppy’s shoulder. He shows amazing consistency when it comes to women. Be they wives, lobbyists, or running mates, he likes them hot. It sure puts a whole new take on the “vice” in “vice president.” At least nobody has to worry about John getting caught doing the Larry Craig two-step in a men’s bathroom stall. Sarah is the home-spun Wonder Woman that Republican women want be, and the cougar-hottie that red-blooded Republican men want to do. Along with her wife-iness, MILF-iness, and athletic prowess, she hunts and fishes, and eats moose burgers. She also plays the flute, looks fierce in swimsuit competition, believes in world peace (after the Rapture)... Oops! I confused her with a “Ms. America” contestant. No doubt she would beat Cindy like a rug for the coveted title of Miss Buffalo Chip. In a breathtaking example of truthiness, Sarah’s Wikipedia article included a photo-op of her at the bedside of a wounded soldier in Germany, no doubt to highlight the difference between her and unpatriotic Barack, who made it a point not to have pictures taken with wounded soldiers, even those he visited in Iraq and Walter Reed Hospital. Apparently, Sarah has no problem with such shameless selfpromotion. And, unlike the situation Barack faced in Germany, the Pentagon didn’t mind her blatantly breaking the rules against visiting the wounded for political gain. On August 31, the picture with the wounded soldier was no longer on the Wikipedia page. I guess somebody on her team noticed the disastrous potential for serious truthiness blow-back. And on September 1, America learned that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant out of wedlock. Maybe Hockey Mom should have been home with her kids just a bit more often. The Lesser of 4 Evils Truthiness aside, here’s what we in the Gay community can expect from the Repubmocrat Gang of Four: Not one of the 4 candidates supports Gay marriage. But Barack consistently includes us in his speeches as fellow Americans. He has co-sponsored legislation to recognize crimes against LGBTQ people as hate crimes. He supports Gay adoption and the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He opposed the Defense of Marriage Act.
For his part, John doesn’t talk about us much, other than to disparage us in veiled references to the sanctity of marriage. He also promotes our perceived inability to properly raise adopted children as an article of faith. John is on record saying he’d have no problem with a Gay president, but that was years ago, before he became the good buddy of George Bush Jr. and the late Jerry Falwell. Strong ties to lobbyists (including family ties) notwithstanding, Joe Biden is a ethically mixed bag that is, for the most part, admirable. So far as ethical treatment for the LGBTQ community is concerned, Joe is for us more than he is against us. He supports Gays in the military. His opinion on Gay marriage is a bit vague, although he says that Gay marriage is probably inevitable. He voted no on the constitutional ban on Gay marriage, but yes on the Defense of Marriage Act. Joe voted yes on adding sexual discrimination to the definition of hate crimes. Sarah is kind of scary. She is one of those intelligent Evangelical politicians who enables the ignorant as they spout their no-nothing bullshit so they’ll vote for her. She is open to teaching creationism in schools, and publicly expressed doubts that humans are responsible for global warming. Sarah claims to have Gay friends. But she loves anti-Gay Bible thumpers more than she loves equality under the law for those same Gay friends, more than she loves empirical science, more than she loves moose burgers (well, maybe not more than moose burgers). No surprise that Sarah is against Gay marriage. Granted, Sarah did veto legislation that would have taken away benefits for domestic partners of Gay public servants. But she stated publicly that she is against rights for same-sex couples; she would have supported the legislation if it had been properly presented. Not exactly my idea of an LGBTQ ally, or Christian compassion for that matter. We shouldn’t be granted our rights because of a procedural glitch. Candidates’ support of the most vulnerable citizens is a good indicator of how fit they are to hold office. Gay people are a pretty powerless lot, easy to pick on by those who want easy money and votes from bigots. Gay folks who are worth a damn will support their own kind. Only a hypocrite who buys into hardcore Log Cabin 2008 truthiness would support the current Republican ticket over the Democratic ticket. This includes self-appointed Gay patriots or founders of men-for-men online cruising sites.
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 7
SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
8 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
COMMUNITY CORNER
SpeakOUT to Host God vs. Gays The War that Never Was Presentation SpeakOUT, an ally advocacy organization, will resume their monthly meetings beginning on Saturday, September 27th from 11:30a-1:30p at The Center on High located at 1160 N High St. SpeakOUT is pleased to welcome special guest speaker, Tony Marconi, a straight ally involved with the photographer: James Roh Delaware Gay/Straight Christian Alliance and board member of Equality Ohio. Marconi will be presenting, “God vs. Gays: The War That Never Was - an alternative perspective of Homosexuality and the Bible.” In addition to discussing the different ways we interpret the Scripture, the presentation will also address: the Story of Sodom; the Holiness Code of Leviticus; Paul’s Letter to the Romans; and 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy.
According to SpeakOUT Director Cheri Meyers, many allies of the LGBT community are unsure how to handle confrontation which centers on biblical text. Mr. Marconi’s presentation will address this concern and allow ample opportunity for allies to ask specific questions. Immediately following the presentation and discussion, SpeakOUT will offer a free viewing of Kim Clark and Luane Beck’s 2006 documentary, God & Gays: Bridging the Gap. The film wrestles through the eyes and experiences of people wanting a relationship with the very religion that rejects them. The film is a content-driven open and honest reflection of what it’s like to be gay and religious in America. This presentation is free and open to all allies and the LGBT community who are interested in learning more about this topic. Light refreshments will be served. Free parking is available. For more information on SpeakOUT, please contact Cheri Meyers at SpeakOUT_cols@yahoo.com.
Log Cabin Endorses Sen. John McCain for President
Stonewall Dems On Anti-Equality Mccain/Palin Ticket
McCain is an Inclusive Leader Who Will Appeal to Independent Voters
GOP Ticket Does Not Deserve the Support of the LGBT & Allied Community
Log Cabin Republicans announced its endorsement of Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) for President of the United States. Log Cabin’s national board of directors voted 12-2 to endorse the Republican nominees for President and Vice President. Log Cabin announced the decision at its “Big Tent Event” during the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis. “On the most important issue that LGBT Americans faced in the last decade-the federal marriage amendment-Sen. John McCain stood with us. Now we stand with him,” said Log Cabin Republicans President Patrick Sammon. “Sen. McCain is an inclusive Republican who is focusing the GOP on unifying core principles that appeal to independent voters.” “Sen. McCain showed courage by bucking his own party’s leadership and the presidenttwice voting against the amendment. He gave an impassioned speech on the Senate floor, calling the amendment ‘antithetical in every way to the core philosophy of Republicans.’ He paid a political price for his vote,” said Sammon. “Log Cabin Republicans is a grassroots organization and our membership overwhelmingly supports endorsing Sen. McCain,” said Log Cabin Board Chairman Pete Kingma. “Our board and staff members have spent recent months getting input and feedback from our members. The consensus among our members is strongly in favor of an endorsement because of his inclusive record. Our members also support him because he’s a maverick; a trait most recently on display with his decision to select Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate.” “In recent years, too many Republican politicians have used divisive social issues in an effort to win elections. Sen. McCain is a different kind of Republican. He understands the GOP lost its majority in Congress in 2006 largely because the Party focused on divisive social issues. Sen. McCain knows the politics of fear and division will damage our Party and our nation so he’s focusing the GOP on unifying core principles such as limited government, fiscal
The National Stonewall Democrats released the following statement on the endorsement of Senator John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin by the Log Cabin Republicans: “Stonewall Democrats continues to work with our allies across the aisle on areas where we can mutually advance equality, but we cannot more strongly disagree with supporting Senator John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin. John McCain and Sarah Palin continue to push a radical, anti-equality agenda at the request of the special interests that control their campaign and the Republican Party. The McCain/Palin ticket opposes adoption by same-sex couples, supports constitutional discrimination regarding the freedom to marry, supports legal discrimination in the workplace based on gender identity and sexual orientation, opposes comprehensive hate crimes legislation and is willing to jeopardize our national security by barring qualified service members simply based on their sexual orientation alone.” “The McCain/Palin team is an aggressively anti-equality ticket,” said Executive Director Jon Hoadley. “That is one reason why Republicans and Independents continue to add their support to the campaign of Senators Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Stonewall Democrats across the country continue to log thousands of hours making phone calls, visiting neighbors and registering new voters on behalf of Senator Obama and the Democratic ticket. We know the stark contrast between the strong leadership of Senator Obama and the antiequality record that John McCain and Sarah Palin continue to build. If we are to enact significant pro-equality legislation at the federal level, we must continue our work electing Barack Obama as our next President.” Stonewall Democrats has provided an accounting of the McCain/Palin record at: www.stonewalldemocrats.org/mccainpalin Senator Barack Obama has championed many issues important to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community both
SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
responsibility, and a strong national defense,” said Sammon. “We have honest disagreements with Sen. McCain on a number of gay rights issues. Log Cabin will continue our conversation with him and other Republican leaders about issues affecting gay and lesbian Americans. We will speak out when there’s disagreement-either during the upcoming campaign or when John McCain is President,” said Sammon Sen. McCain has had a long and friendly association with Log Cabin Republicans, dating back to the organization’s opening of a national office in the mid-1990s. “Sen. McCain has always shown a willingness to reach out and engage in dialogue with Log Cabin, while considering all sides of an issue,” said Sammon. “We know that will continue when he is President.” “Progress in the fight for LGBT equality requires support from both Republicans and Democrats,” said Sammon. “Log Cabin’s endorsement of Sen. McCain will ensure our community has a strong voice making the case for gay rights to John McCain when he is President.” According to the organization’s bylaws, Log Cabin endorses only Republican candidates. Log Cabin Republicans endorsed then-Governor George W. Bush in 2000, but declined to endorse President Bush in 2004-largely over the president’s push for a federal anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment and his decision to use gay people as a wedge issue in winning re-election. “I expect Sen. McCain will receive strong support from gay and lesbian Americans,” said Sammon. “LGBT people are not single-issue voters. Gay rights issues are a critical part of the equation, but so are many other issues impacting our daily lives-foreign policy, the economy, jobs, energy policy, health care reform, and taxes. Gay and lesbian Republicans believe Sen. John McCain is the most qualified person to lead our country.”
in Congress and on the campaign trail. The Senator has vocally advocated for a fully-inclusive Employee Non-Discrimination Act, equitable benefits for the partners of federal employees, increased HIV/AIDS funding, the passage of hate crimes legislation, the repeal of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy and the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. In striking contrast with his Republican opponent, Senator Obama has clearly opposed anti-marriage ballot initiatives in Arizona, California and Florida. During the nomination season, Senator Obama, and his campaign, routinely engaged members of the Stonewall Democrats. The endorsement of Stonewall Democrats will allow the only national organization of LGBT and allied Democrats to continue to engage and educate the Obama campaign on issues of equality, such as the freedom to marry, while motivating its membership on behalf of the endorsed candidate. Stonewall Democrats has endorsed the Obama/Biden ticket and continue their work to elect more pro-equality Democrats and to improve the Democratic Party on issues of equality. For over two years, Stonewall Democrats used its grassroots network to help shape the Democratic field into the most accountable and tested group of candidates in the history of the Democratic Party. From the living rooms of New Hampshire to the greens of historically Black college campuses, Stonewall Democrats organized its members to meet with candidates to discuss issues that are crucial to LGBT Americans. This included national trainings in the early-voting states of New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina and Stonewall Democrats town hall events with Democratic presidential campaigns in states like Ohio and Texas. Stonewall Democrats will now use the network of advocates it built upon during the nomination season to organize support for Senator Obama and the Democratic ticket.
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 9
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10 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 11
OUT BUSINESS NEWS by Chris Hayes
GOOD FOR GAYS: NEXT OF KIN REGISTRATION NOW AVAILABLE TO OHIOANS Ohio Department of Public Safety (ODPS) Director Henry Guzmán, Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) Registrar Mike Rankin and Rep. Jim McGregor have announced the launch of Ohio’s Next of Kin Registration System. Carmella Wiant and Linda Wuestenberg, who were instrumental in initiating legislation for the system, joined them in the Atrium of the BMV to sign the first ceremonial forms for the new registration system. Both were personally impacted by not being able to reach a loved one in a timely manner after a crash. With the launch, Ohio became one of the first states to make a next of kin registration process available. Any holder of a valid Ohio driver license, commercial driver license, temporary permit or state of Ohio identification card will now have the option of providing the name and information of a contact person they wish to be notified in the event the individual is involved in a crash or emergency and is otherwise unable to communicate with the contact person. “In an emergency situation, time is critical to saving lives,” Guzmán said. “This is yet another way we can all work together to be prepared to respond, or help the public respond, to any emergency.” Ohioans can now provide next of kin information for up to two contacts online or through any BMV deputy registrar. For those over the age of 18, the contact person can be a nearby relative, friend or co-worker. Those under the age of 18 are required to provide a parent or guardian for the primary contact. This secure database will only be accessible to BMV employees and law enforcement officials. “We are encouraging all Ohioans to take advantage of this beneficial opportunity, to save time when trying to identify family and friends of a crash victim,” said Rankin. For more information on the Next of Kin registration process, log onto the BMV Web site at www.bmv.ohio.gov.
TRANSITIONS: GLAAD NAMES RICHARD FERRARO AS DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS
MONEY MAKER: COLUMBUS RANKED SECOND MOST AFFORDABLE TRADESHOW DESTINATION Columbus was recently ranked the second most affordable U.S. city to host a tradeshow by Tradeshow Weekly (TSW) magazine. The ranking puts Columbus ahead of 43 other U.S. cities in the study. By examining the federal government’s 2008 Domestic Per Diem Rates for meals and incidentals, Smith Travel Research’s survey of domestic hotel rates and Tradeshow Week’s 2008 Survey of U.S. and Canadian Labor Rates, TSW editors determined what could be the most affordable U.S. cities for tradeshows. The top three destinations were Des Moines, Iowa; Columbus, Ohio; and Louisville, KY. According to TSW, there are a lot of factors involved in making a city affordable for its residents and even more in making a city affordable for thousands of tradeshow attendees who might visit in the course of a year. A tradeshow organizer must consider not only the show costs, such as labor rates, but also the price of hotel rooms and cost of restaurant meals. “This ranking comes as a pleasant surprise to both us and the city,” said Brian
Ross, vice president of sales for Experience Columbus. “The affordability of Columbus as a meeting destination can be attributed to the competitive environment created by our great partners and members, including the Greater Columbus Convention Center and other meeting venues, The Columbus Regional Airport Authority and area hotels and restaurants.” Columbus’ average regular hourly rate for general labor was $53, its per diem cost was $49 and its average hotel rate was $86.06. In 2007, Experience Columbus’ sales staff booked 545 conventions and meetings for business, representing 256,627 room nights. Experience Columbus is the destination sales and marketing organization for the Greater Columbus community. Formerly the Greater Columbus Convention and Visitors Bureau, Experience Columbus works with the Columbus community to create a competitive distinction in the visitor marketplace, attracting leisure visitors, conventions and meetings.
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) announced that Richard Ferraro has been selected to serve as the Director of Public Relations of the national media advocacy and anti-defamation organization. The newly created strategic role will advance the organization’s public relations goals while firmly establishing GLAAD in the local, state, regional, national and international media markets and landscape. “I look forward to working with the executive leadership team and staff to continue sharing GLAAD’s mission and successes with our community,” said Ferraro. In his position, Ferraro will expand and lead media and constituent relations to communicate GLAAD’s mission and anti-defamation work. He will also manage the visual identity programs included in all of GLAAD’s collateral materials. Ferraro joins GLAAD from Fleishman-Hillard International Communications, one of the world’s leading public relations firms, as a Senior Account Executive. While there he was responsible for developing strategic communications, leading media relations, and providing counsel on brand management to Corporate Communications clients. Ferraro was also active in the development of FH Out Front, the firm’s global gay and lesbian communications practice, where he provided counsel on communications and built key media relationships in the gay press for a variety of clients. This included pro-bono work for Commercial Closet Association, the nonprofit organization that educates and influences the advertising industry to understand, respect and include gay references in advertising to achieve a more accepting society and successful business results. He received a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication and Electronic Media (Magna Cum Laude) from The George Washington University in Washington, D.C. and was elected into the Phi Beta Kappa honor society. He will be based in GLAAD’s New York City office. “GLAAD advocates and fights defamation in the media on behalf of our community everyday,” said GLAAD President Neil G. Giuliano. “Richard’s experience and creativity will be instrumental in highlighting GLAAD’s story and the work we do in changing hearts and minds.”
MAKEOVER: GAYFRANCHISE.COM LAUNCHES NEW WEB SITE GayFranchise.com, an online directory of mainstream franchisors reaching out to the GLBT business community, announced the launch of its newly designed web site (http://www.gayfranchise.com) as part of a new overall visual identity to create more of an interaction with our visitors. “Knowing that our web site is the only resource for the GLBT community to find gay-friendly franchisors, we upgraded it to ensure that potential franchisees will find the best and most up-to-date information available,” said Michael Lamb, President of GayFranchise.com. “GayFranchise.com continues to bring new equality-minded franchisors to our site and has now accumulated over 50 franchise opportunities.” “GayFranchise.com is a great tool to educate and engage the gay and lesbian community in franchising. Great Clips, the #1 hair care brand in North America is using GayFranchise.com to attract new franchisees to their concept. We believe the recession-resistant model, manager-run salons, and low start up costs are a great way for entrepreneurs within the GLBT community to keep their current jobs while growing their own businesses,” stated Melisa Peters, Franchise Marketing Coordinator for Great Clips. “As party planners, our business is all about creativity and fun. We’re excited to work with GayFranchise to help us locate vibrant candidates within the GLBT community that are as passionate about One Hour Parties as we are!” stated Leanne Mumm Pardo, Co-Founder of One Hour Parties. The Gay and Lesbian community now commands a $712 billion dollar purchasing power in 2008 and is expected to increase exponentially in 2008. Research has also revealed that Gay Americans report being more optimistic and less concerned about finances than their straight counterparts. Features of the new web site include: enhanced navigation; compelling new look; new search function to find franchises easily; new RSS feed of current franchise news and announcements; rotational banners of our franchisors on every page; using PHP technology, and the site is picked up better by search engine.
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12 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 13
THE EXAMINED LIFE by Tom Moon, MFT
Naikan Q: I’ve been single most of my life and have always wanted a partner. Well, two years ago I met the man of my dreams, my soul mate, and earlier this year we moved in together. But it hasn’t turned out to be a marriage made in heaven. We don’t have any major problems like physical abuse, or cheating, or drugs. I really love him, I know he loves me, and we’re having great sex. But I’m constantly resenting him over stupid shit all the time. I’m an evening guy, he’s a morning person. I’m an introvert, he’s an extrovert. He wants us to hang out with several of his close friends, and they bore me to death. I like to watch sports and he doesn’t. Stuff like that. I tell myself I should feel lucky to have such a great guy in my life, but the fact is I’m irritated by him way too much. I feel like I’ve lost my freedom, and I keep wishing he would be different than he is. I find myself resenting him all the time for little ways that he disappoints me. I don’t want us to separate, but I’m wondering are we just too different to be able to live together, or is there some way we can work this out?
A: Since you’ve just started living together, part of what you’re feeling may just be the growing pains of being in close quarters with someone else. Because you’re used to being single you may not have much experience in the daily compromises and accommodations you have to make when you’re in a relationship. It may take you more time to learn to feel comfortable. But having said that, you might be able to minimize your irritation by doing some practices to make changes in your perspective. Consider this: when we resent other people for not filling our expectations, we are essentially acting on the assumption that we deserve to have whatever we want. This isn’t an uncommon assumption in our culture, but it isn’t a very mature perspective, and it’s a guaranteed setup for constant emotional turmoil, because the people around us probably don’t believe that it is their duty to live up to our expectations. So what is more likely to bring happiness and contentment in your life – to go through your life with the mission of collecting what is owed to you, or to go through life with the mission of acting from gratitude toward the people around you? The Japanese have a popular form of psychotherapy, based on Buddhist principles and developed by Yoshimoto Ishin, called Naikan. The term literally means “seeing oneself with
the mind’s eye” and consists of structured processes for introspection and self-examination. But instead of concentrating on the wrongs that others have done to us, a focus that is all-too-easy for the human mind, in Naikan, we step back from our own resentments, and deliberately work on developing gratitude. We learn to pay attention to what we habitually ignore about ourselves, and we squarely face our own mistakes, failures and weaknesses. The process requires us to acknowledge what we have done to cause difficulty to others. Such self-reflection diverts our attention from blaming others or complaining about how we have been treated. Here’s a simple Naikan practice which you might find helpful. Every evening for the next week, find a quiet place to sit for 20 or 30 minutes before bedtime, without distraction, and focus on three questions: • What have I received from my partner [both today and in the past]? • What have I given to him? • What troubles and difficulties have I caused him? Write down your answers to this question. Try to be specific rather than general. Don’t leave items off your list because they seem trivial, or because you receive them every day. If your partner brought you coffee in bed this morning, for instance, put that on your list.
The related fourth question, “What troubles and difficulties has this person caused me?” is deliberately ignored in Naikan on the grounds that that most of us are naturally good at seeing answers to this question, and that too much focus on it is the cause of much of our suffering in daily life. If you do this practice conscientiously for seven consecutive days, my guess is that you’ll be amazed at how much happier you’ll feel at home. If you do find it helpful and want to learn more about this Asian approach to self development, you might want to read Naikan, Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of SelfReflection, by Gregg Kech. This book makes the concepts of Naikan easily accessible to Westerners. It even has a section of Benjamin Franklin’s efforts at self-reflection. By using the simple techniques outlined in this book, anyone can move from a self-centered perspective to a deeper understanding and harmony in their relationships. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is tommoon.net.
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14 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 15
EARTH TALK From the Editors of E
Dear EarthTalk:
Dear EarthTalk:
What’s the story with animal cloning? Is the meat industry really cloning animals now to “beef up” production?
I’ve read that household cleaners contain cancer-causing toxic ingredients. What should I do, then, to keep my house clean but also safe for my kids?
Frank DeFazio, Sudbury, MA
Christine Stewart Cloning has been controversial ever since Scottish scientists announced in 1996 that they had cloned their first mammal, a sheep they named Dolly. While Dolly lived a painful, arthritic life and died prematurely, possibly due to the imperfections of cloning, industry nonetheless began seeking out ways to capitalize on the new technology. Meanwhile, critics bemoan cloning as immoral and a potential health and safety risk, given the asyet-unknown consequences of eating foods generated in this way. In January 2008, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the sale of cloned animals and their offspring for food, despite fierce opposition from animal welfare and consumer advocacy groups, environmental organizations, some members of Congress, and many consumers. “Our evaluation is that the food from cloned animals is as safe as the food we eat every day,” said Stephen Sundlof, the FDA’s chief of veterinary medicine. Meanwhile, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has asked that producers withhold cloned animals, but not their offspring, from the food supply while farmers, processors, grocery stores and restaurants decide how they will respond to the FDA’s landmark decision. Unsurprisingly, industry groups also argue that beef and milk from cloned animals is safe to consume. They cite a 2005 University of Connecticut study, which concluded that beef and milk from cloned cows did not pose any health or safety threats to people consuming it. But critics say that the oft-cited single study was far too limited to yield any meaningful conclusions: Milk and beef was taken
from just six cloned animals, and the study did not take into account whether clones were more susceptible to infection or other microbial problems, as many scientists suspect. Other researchers have noted severe deformities in many cloned animals, as well as a higher incidence of reproductive, immune and other health problems. The Washington, DC-based Center for Food Safety, in a petition it filed in late 2006, declared: “The available science shows that cloning presents serious food safety risks, animal welfare concerns and unresolved ethical issues that require strict oversight.” The group announced on September 2, 2008 that 20 leading U.S. food producers - including Kraft Foods, General Mills, Gerber/Nestle, Campbell’s Soup and Ben and Jerry’s - will not use cloned animals in their products. “The move by these companies represents a growing industry trend of responding to consumer demand for better food safety, environmental and animal welfare standards,” the group said in making the announcement. Given the FDA’s green light, consumers’ only hope of avoiding cloned animal products may be to appeal to businesses directly not to peddle such items. The Pennsylvania-based American Anti-Vivisection Society, which opposes all forms of animal research and testing, has mounted a campaign to urge McDonald’s to forego cloned animals in its 30,000 restaurants worldwide.
While much of the research is mixed or inconclusive, a variety of human and animal studies have linked chemicals common in household cleaning products with a wide range of health risks. The most offensive common ingredients, according to a 2006 study by the University of California Berkeley and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, are ethylene-based glycol, used commonly as a water-soluble solvent in cleaning agents and classified as a hazardous air pollutant by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), and terpenes, a class of chemicals found in lemon, pine and orange oils that can morph into carcinogenic compounds when they mix with ground-level ozone. Also, chlorine, often labeled as “sodium hypochlorite” or “hypochlorite,” is almost ubiquitous in household cleaners, unfortunately for the inhabitants of many homes. Breathing in its fumes can irritate the lungs, and as such poses a serious health risk to those with pre-existing heart or respiratory problems. According to the non-profit Cancer Prevention Coalition, some other problematic chemicals found in many household cleaners include crystalline silica, an irritant to the eyes and lungs and a likely carcinogen, and butyl cellosolve, which has been linked to kidney and liver problems and is reportedly toxic to forming cells. The group lists dozens of other potentially dangerous ingredients in household products on the “Hazardous Ingredients in Household Products” PDF available for free on its website. Gaiam, a leading purveyor of green house-
hold and lifestyle items, reports that the average American household contains between three and 25 gallons of toxic materials, mostly in the form of household cleaners filled with petrochemical solvents designed to dissolve dirt. The company bemoans the fact that no law requires cleaning products manufacturers to list ingredients on their labels or to test their products for safety, leaving it up to consumers to make sure their homes are not only clean, but also non-toxic. Luckily there are plenty of “greener” alternatives now widely available from manufacturers like Gaiam, Earth Friendly Products, Citra-Solv, Ecover, Mrs. Meyers, Sun and Earth, SimpleGreen, Method, and Seventh Generation, among many others. Even big players are getting in on the act. Clorox recently released a new line of home cleaning products under the Green Works label to attract a greening clientele. For those so inclined, making your own green cleaning solutions is easy and cheap. According to The Green Guide, consumers can “circumvent the armada of commercial cleaners” by keeping handy an ample supply of eight ingredients for nearly every do-ityourself cleaning job: baking soda, borax, distilled white vinegar, hydrogen peroxide, lemons, olive oil, vegetable-based (liquid castile) soap, and washing soda.
CONTACTS: U.S. Food & Drug Administration, www.fda.gov; Center for Food Safety, www.centerforfoodsafety.org; American Anti-Vivisection Society, www.aavs.org. Cancer Prevention Coalition, www.preventcancer.com; Gaiam, www.gaiam.com; Earth Friendly Products, www.ecos.com; Citra-Solv www.citrasolv.com; Ecover, www.ecover.com; Clorox Green Works, www.greenworkscleaners.com; Mrs. Meyers, www.mrsmeyers.com; Sun and Earth, www.sunandearth.com; Seventh Generation, www.seventhgeneration.com; SimpleGreen, www.simplegreen.com; Method Green Home Care Products, www.methodhome.com.. GOT AN ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTION? E-mail: earthtalk@emagazine.com.
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16 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
FEATURE STORY by Adam Lippe
“One night, at dinner, when I was a kid, my father told us that the reason Mt. St. Helens had erupted was so that God had a place to put all the faggots.” A few months ago, I subjected myself to what amounted to intellectual and moral torture, pretending to be a person suffering from “sexual brokenness,” and trying to amend my ways by attending meetings that would, I guess you could say, un-gay me. I wrote an article for this very paper and promised a second part, but as I was attempting to write it, I really wanted to know how this sort of shame and self-loathing came about. It was too frustrating to consider that these people were just sheep, especially not knowing why they were sheep. It would be okay if they were stupid, but no one appeared that way. After attending two larger meetings and discussions (which didn’t just cover homosexuality, but abstaining from masturbation, sex dreams, sexual thoughts, etc.), I went to a more specific, gay focused meeting. I read books, watched movies, and I interviewed people who had gone through the process and either gotten out, or were still in it. Because I respect these people’s privacy (as well as the fact that some were interviewed thinking I was in treatment), I will be using pseudonyms. It would also seem unfair to expose them, because they aren’t the target of my investigation, but rather how they were taken in. “What happened to me is that, I was just in the closet til I was a lesbian, which was probably, I don’t know. I mean even when I was 4 or 5, I knew that I liked girls, but it was in high school… I fooled around with some of the girls but I always thought I would grow up and find a guy.” Mary came of age in the mid-late 1960s, long before homosexuality was taken off the AMA’s list of mental illness. After a long struggle to find out she was, she eventually came out and became the head of one of the largest gay organizations in the country. “There was one moment, I was lovers with my best friend in high school, there was one moment where I realized she was going to change and I wasn’t… What I was doing wasn’t play … I had never SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
met gay people… I hated myself because I felt so awful about it… Didn’t stop me. Didn’t stop my fantasies. Didn’t stop my trying to have sex with girls… And then I went off to college and I fell in love my freshman year with a girl who was fooling around with me, but she had a boyfriend back home… She kinda freaked out on me… I think what happened to me was, we were writing letters to each other, and I think her parents found one of the letters and flipped out.” “When my brother picked me up and drove me home, he told me that someone had told our parents that I was a lesbian. Of course I was mortified…They were very upset, but I lied to them and told them I was bisexual. ‘What did we do to make you like this?’… I thought I was an absolute freak… They told me that I should talk to [my lover’s] parents. Her parents had told the dean of the college that they should quit school because I was a lesbian… That night we went over to their house for more grilling. It was more grilling from [her lover’s] parents. She was off somewhere, they’d sent her away. She was probably with her boyfriend… My parents weren’t that educated, but these people were very wealthy and well educated and they intimidated my parents… My parents asked me ‘did I wanna leave school?’ I said, ‘no I don’t wanna to leave school…’ So we went to see the dean of the college and he told me that ‘the only way you can come back here is if you get help, see a therapist three times a week and you need to change… Otherwise you had to leave school…’ “ “My parents sent me to a psychiatrist… It was a lot of money, like $50 a session, which was a lot in those days… His goal was to change me… He was going to use Freudian analysis to fix it… My roommates would tell me that I was normally fine, except when I would come back from therapy, they told me I should stop… And I felt really bad because my parents didn’t have any money and they were paying for this, so [after a year] I told them it worked, I was fine, I was cured and I think I should stop… [With the psychiatrist] He asked me to tell me his life story, he said very little… He went with the Freudian theory that we would go through my life and figure out what went wrong, as if anything had. He mostly thought it was about my relationship with my father… I was a shy girl so the fact that he did-
n’t say anything made it very embarrassing… Just so you know, I ended up with a degree in psychology…” “I did eventually find a therapist who was helpful, a grad student. He asked me what my problem was and I said that I was gay. And he said ‘so what’s the problem?’… And that was the new start of my life.” One of the main reasons I think it is important to hear Mary’s entire story is to get a sense of change socially and within the church. You’d think that over a 40-year period, ideas and attitudes would relax a little bit, but I didn’t find that. It wasn’t just that the groups would use (other than the Bible) 30-year-old texts, but that everyone was stuck in some sort of time machine of shame. I saw this even more so with John, who was stuck in various re-orientation therapies for eight years, through the 1990s. The quote about Mt. St Helens was something his father said to him at a young age and shaped his self-hatred for years. “I grew up in the United Methodist Church, my father grew up as a Southern Baptist… When I was growing up, I actually believed that the Bible was the inspired word of God, that a person has to be born again in order to go to heaven… I think I knew I was attracted to men somewhere in 5th grade… My original thought was it was a phase that I would grow out of. I was told it couldn’t be natural behavior… Every night I would pray to God to change me… That lasted until my 19th birthday… For a short term I rejected Christianity, I was very depressed and became an Atheist. I thought there was nothing else I could to get to heaven. I prayed every night and God wasn’t answering, and thought God must not exist… I got very depressed and that’s eventually how I got saved…” “I made two friends whose entire goal was to try to save me. Only one of them knew I was gay… They were shocked that after I was saved that it was still an issue. They assumed that once I turned to Christ that everything would be solved…I was supposed to get baptized, my father insisted that as children we would have some choice in the matter… But right before I was supposed to be baptized I was with a guy. I told the pastor, because I was supposed to confess everything like a good Christian. And so he called off the baptism. And of
course I had to tell my parents… My father knew that a pastor doesn’t schedule a baptism and then call it off because ‘you’re not ready,’ unless something happened… Around the same time I went to a conference in California and met some of the original leaders of Exodus [the most prominent early sect of the ex-gay movement] and found out I wasn’t going to be healed overnight…. I found out about the books and meetings and it was at that time I went to my dad and told him I’d been struggling with homosexuality. I kick myself now because he thinks I’m cured, because he said ‘well if you’ve been struggling with this for ten years, are you sure you’re not just setting yourself up for heartache by trying to change’… In retrospect I should have used that opportunity to tell him the truth, but no, I told him it was unnatural and I was going to change… I was already sold on the idea that I could change, I was brought up that homosexuals should be killed… “ “Later on, when I was on a Christian public access TV show, I was told by a confidant that I should probably tell my mother, in case she knew someone who’d seen it. I did and she said, ‘I’m sure once you get through your counseling everything will be better’… The one thing I specifically remembering saying a few people asked me questions starting ‘when you were gay,’ and I interrupted them and said, ‘there’s no were gay, I’m going through counseling and I will get through it.’” “The books I had to read mostly dealt with ‘improving’ your masculinity, absent father, strongwilled mother stuff… In terms of believing people were sincere when they said they had changed, in three years [at the first place] I only heard three or four people say it, and yes I believed they were sincere, at the time... Mario Bergner [one of the major pioneers of the ex-gay movement], I knew quite well, and he made the very confusing statement that ‘I no longer suffer from homosexual desire, but I still suffer from homosexual temptation.’ 12 Years later, I still have no idea what the fuck that means...I believed the books I read. My perception of anyone who would go to these meetings is that what you’re doing is wrong and you have to change it. And it seemed very palatable. If you want to think the sky is purple, and you stare at it long enough, you’ll believe it’s purple.” continued
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 17
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18 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
FEATURE STORY “Even to join up, I had to order a bunch of books either from the Christian bookstore and write directly to Exodus International to get a list of groups... I also had to go to a counseling session with the leader of the meeting because he wanted to make sure I wasn’t there to lead people away… He believed that everyone who struggled with homosexual feelings, had been sexually abused. He said that if I didn’t remember any abuse, then I was repressing it… He made a lot of the fact that I looked at pornography in junior high… He said that was a major factor in turning me gay...” “In our group, there was only one guy who was sexually active. With me and others, it was always thoughts we would confess. He would say stuff like ‘I did very well this week, I only hooked up with one guy…’ There was a guy there who was really weird, he was there because he had an eating disorder, and he didn’t want to have to find a specific group for that. He thought that anyone with addictive behavior should be there, it should all be one group… After him, they wouldn’t let anyone in who wasn’t gay or bi… One thing I would say about [one of the larger local Columbus churches, which John attended after this one], is that they didn’t put homosexuals in some special class of really bad sinners who needed help, it was anyone who needed help, if you’re addicted to pornography, or crossword puzzles [true story!], the ground was all level, you’re all neglecting your duties as a Christian. Jesus didn’t have to spend more time on the cross for me because I like dick.” “After college I moved to a small town and became a youth pastor. I didn’t go to counseling or support groups. I did become sexually active for the first time since high school… At the time, I never though being gay was natural, even six years into this and nothing’s changed. Because of my position as a pastor, I didn’t really have anyone to confess to… “After that I started going to counseling, the guy had a Masters and everything, he believed homosexuality was a mental illness… Even if the AMA had decided that it wasn’t a mental illness anymore, the [leaders] told us that the change in the AMA’s books was a political decision, because of pressure, and they didn’t actually do any research.” “The first guy told me that once I admitted my sexual abuse, the healing could begin and everything would solve itself… He didn’t just lead the groups, he was also my private counselor, he focused mostly on masturbation, which he said was like adultery, cheating on your future wife… That never went anywhere but I was so convinced. I never made anything up in terms of the abuse. Mostly I would confess for twenty minutes, then he’d make me feel guilty, and then we’d pray. The whole thing was about an hour… He fixated a lot on the fact that whenever you were in a position of homosexual sex, it was a position of worship. And so homosexual sex was really just idolatry. Because you spent time on your knees, I guess…” “That group after I moved, and I stayed out of the meetings until one of my friends from college who had indoctrinated me into being saved, because he had a vision that he needed to save me from my actions… In Columbus I would have sex on the weekends, and then confess at the next meeting. It was described as my addictive cycle… Being in the exgay thing didn’t impact my inability to have longterm relationships later in life, I just couldn’t stand to deny it anymore and I would find these anonymous people to have sex with, and never get to know them… Yes it does make it more dangerous. It is amazing that I was always safe. But the fact that you would be safe meant that you were preSEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
pared to sin, and that would certainly get in the way.” “Shortly before I said ‘ok, this isn’t working,’ I was in training at the [mega-church] to become a pastor, very intensive theological training, and I confessed to my accountability partner about my sins and got kicked out of that. Interestingly enough, there was another man there who was still struggling with beating his wife. They just sent him to counseling…” “Eventually they told me I couldn’t go to church anymore that I just could do counseling until I stopped sinning. And that was the point where I was like, ‘why I am going here, anyway?’ “God I hate clichés, but I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was when this guy in my pursuing sexual wholeness group raped someone. It got me thinking, ‘why am I classed in the same group as this?’ I mean this guy calls me one night because he needs to talk because he ‘fell’ or ‘sinned’ and by the time the conversation was over I realized he’d raped a teenage girl by sneaking into her room.” “In the year that it took to recover from all of it, one of my turnaround points, was when I woke up and realized, ‘oh my god, I’m not depressed every day. I am who I am and I can be happy and it’s not a big deal.’” I kept in touch with two people from the church and one of them was confused why I was feeling better and the other one said ‘well of course you’re happy, you’re doing what you want to instead of what you should be doing. Yes you’re happy, but it’s still wrong.’” “If I ever ran into the guy [again] who got me back into the program, I would probably thank him. The reason is because of my upbringing, I needed to go through the ex-gay thing so I could accept my sexuality. I was able to walk away without feeling a lot of guilt and self-loathing… If I had given up trying to change my sexuality earlier, I would never have come to the conclusion that being gay was ok… Sure, I feel like I missed out a lot in terms of growing up, but I needed the experience to get through life… If I wasn’t gay, there’s no reason I would have changed the views that I grew up with, and I would think that homosexuality was still wrong… “ For those unfamiliar with my first article on reorientation, I went undercover pretending to be struggling with homosexuality by attending these meetings. The first meeting was about 75 minutes of lecture, followed by almost three hours of group counseling. As I was on the cusp of the younger age group I was around those who were just coming to terms with their various shames, whether it be masturbation, pornography, or one guy who was cheating on his wife with his wife. One story that pretty much encapsulates the absurdity of the situation was one that didn’t make the first article. This kid, who looked about 19, broke up with his long-term girlfriend because he had sex with her. What followed was a fifteen-minute conversation about the best way for him to change his phone number and not get fined by the cell phone company. He wanted to do this because if he left his number the same, she would be able to call him, and he could call her, and under those circumstances, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. There was no discussion regarding the fact that changing his number would have no bearing on his ability to call her. When I finally got to speak, I asked if I was even in the right place. Nobody was truly willing to open up, despite almost all of them being there for more than a few weeks. You’d think they’d trust their
peers by then. So I began telling my [false] story. I’d had a girlfriend for almost four years who I lived with [true], but I’d been cheating on her for most of the relationship with random guys I’d meet at bars [false]. I loved her and felt bad that I couldn’t just be satisfied with her, but I somehow felt compelled to go out and sleep around. I didn’t want to hurt her by telling her about my urges and how often I had opened her up to possible diseases (though I claimed I had been safe), and I needed help. The leader of the group, a man somewhere in his 40s or 50s, instructed me on the solution, that being I should pray for forgiveness and seek the answer through following their program. His only quantifiable suggestion came after I questioned how praying would solve the problem in reality. He said I should learn to express my need to have emotional outbursts (sex) by crying. When I explained that I was not much of a cryer, he told me that everyone is, and I just had to try harder. He refused to give me any more suggestions of outlets. When I confessed that I was not all that religious, this was a miniscandal, and I was basically scolded by the group who had been nearly silent for the previous 2 hours. It was about that time that I really got that creepy Scientology feeling. I had been handed an application. I was asked to give money for texts. I was told to be accountable to my group but not speak to anyone outside the group except the lead counselor. The application said the group counselor reserved the right to reveal any information he felt like to my pastor, family, or anyone else he deemed necessary. I told myself it was all a moot point since I was faking the whole thing, but then I remembered about that documenterian who intended to be an objective piece on Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church (the church that pickets gay funerals), and was sucked in and became a believer. His film turned out to be nothing more than pro-Phelps propaganda. As the final few people discussed their issues, I tried to give honest advice to those asking for help, but there was at least one time where I was shushed by a member of the group, and not because I was interrupting [I wasn’t]. While it had been difficult to avoid screaming out what I actually felt during the four hours (I had nightmares for days after the meeting), it finally ended with a prayer. There was only one person in the group, Mark, who admitted to have issues with homosexuality. I managed to flag him down before he left the building and discussed my concerns, and hoped he would be willing to talk to me further since he was the only one who could “understand me.” We talked for about fifteen minutes and he gave him his phone number and email, telling me he would be happy to talk with me, despite the earlier instructions not to talk to members outside of group “therapy.” When I spoke to him on the phone a few days later, I attempted to make a further emotional connection so I could figure out what brought him to the group. However, he did a lot of deflecting, and he had clearly listened to the group leader, as his reactions tended to sound like blocking me out via passive aggression. While he was willing to quell my feelings on the mismanaging and emotional constipation in the group, mostly, when I would disagree with the methods, he would say things like, “I’m not looking to judge you, far from it. As far as your feelings, you’re coming from a different perspective.” When I tried to make it more about him, and why he was there, he was still a bit vague. “I’m using this group to supplement my 1 on 1 counseling. I started that counseling about two
years ago. I’ve had some relapses, I need healing, my life was out of control. There are some things that I’ve used in counseling, suggestions, getting to the root of the problem, get rid of the junk. It helps us deal with the problem. What’s the emotion when you want to jack off, when you want to masturbate. When I need love, you and I start with SSA [same sex attraction]. What am I craving right now? Am I craving a guy? After that’s gone, what am I feeling? What is lacking? What is what we want and like. You think about it for five minutes, you’ll be amazed at what you can find.” But then he’d fall into the typical non-responses, which could either have been to avoid any kind of discussion (or perhaps confrontation in his mind), even if I misunderstood something or there was an obvious disagreement. “I tell you what, let’s do this, keep that in mind. That is part of who you are, that is how you think, that’s your value system. That’s how you feel. I have to focus on my emotions and my feelings” Thirty minutes later and I had gotten nowhere. But I knew I would have a chance to go to a second meeting before the first article ran so I could avoid exposure for at least a week. Instead of a lecture, that week we were faced with a testimony. Not being religious at all, I was unsure what this was. The man who was going to give his testimony, we were told, was the head of a smaller group that dealt exclusively with homosexuality. That sounded perfect for me, and I assumed I’d just wait until his spiel was over and approach him. But no one is prepared for a testimony. Basically, a testimony is a person telling their life story and all the sins they’ve committed before becoming born again. In fact, the guy who ran the discussion group the previous week gave me two copies of his testimony on a CD, perhaps so I could give one to a friend or family member who liked hearing about other people’s sins. Since I had no idea what to expect, after he introduced himself, I thought he was just going to tell a simple story of change. But not thirty seconds after he began and not having revealed a thing, he collapsed on the ground. I thought he had just died, and we should call for paramedics, but as people came over to help him, it turned out he was just overcome with emotion and the power of Jesus Christ. He cried on the floor for about fifteen minutes, before finally allowing himself to be helped up. Imagine James Brown trying to discard the cape his handlers try to put on him, but picture him as a pudgy self-loathing 40 year-old frat boy, and you’d get the exact idea. When he finally recovered and began speaking, discussing his flaws and sexual exploits, the one thing that came to mind was, ‘boy, he sure sounded happy.” Perhaps realizing this, every so often he would try to make it sound like even if he liked it, it was the wrong thing to do. His depression and falling away from his homosexual sins appeared to be motivated by his break-up with his boyfriend of five years. He got depressed, went into a funk, and then suddenly found Jesus. We’ve all had bad break-ups and they usually cause depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Some of them may even cause us to change our ways in order to improve the way we are treated. But I can’t imagine deciding to make yourself feel guilty for every thought or action you’ve ever committed, just because you’re in a bad mood. As expected, the description of his conversion was 100% unconvincing, not helped by his cracked voice explanation that after three years of celibacy, he was finally ready to date women. He had never continued
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FEATURE STORY done it before, never been attracted to one, but all of a sudden he was ready to find the right woman to marry. Forget the fact that he’s clearly fooling himself, isn’t that just cruel to her? After his testimony, indeed I approach him about the times and location of his meetings. As luck would have it, I had been trying to find out the location for weeks previous, but the security measures are ridiculous, especially if someone is legitimately looking for help. It required emailing the webmaster and convincing him to give you the password to look at the PDF file, which was the application. After you’d filled out the application (several pages long), you were supposed to email it back to them, and they would decide if you were worthy of being interviewed to be able to join the group. Even though I’d explained the entire situation to him, the group leader still was rather mushmouthed about the location and gave me some vague cross streets, but no specific address. Knowing that my article was coming out a few days later, I felt freed up to really air my grievances about the group. I was almost sad about the fact that this time, we were split into two, and there were only six people in my group. That still didn’t stop the strange closed-door secrets. We had two people leading our group who told us that they weren’t going to confess what had happened to them that week because they’d already done it privately with the overall group leader. Since I was making up what happened, it didn’t matter to me, but I felt for the other guys, who theoretically would be pouring their heart out to people who didn’t trust us or think we were worthy of their faults and sins. Again, people confessed to watching porn, masturbating while their wife was away for six weeks, and pleasantly remembering ex-girlfriends, surely the worst offenses known to man and God. When given my chance, I opened up and raged on for a few minutes, talking about how none of it makes any sense, why is everyone so constipated, what are we supposed to get out of this, etc. I did make sure to hide behind the guise of things I didn’t understand about the group and needed them explained to me, so I didn’t appear like an outright phony. As expected, the responses were of the “that’s your view, and you should stick with it” variety, never answering any questions at all, just avoiding them. Even after the meeting, when I talked 1-on-1 with one of our group leaders, he smiled, agreed with the most meager suggestions and talked in a circle for almost thirty minutes. I made sure to wait for Mark outside to see how he felt and if I could contact him again. Happily, he did, and Mark and I talked on the phone for an hour, and my digging apparently didn’t seem suspicious, only looking for validation about “our” situations. He did eventually reveal that he was trying to stop his homosexual actions because his life was spiraling out of control, surely a noble reason, but it was more likely that he was blaming his homosexuality instead of the real issues his religion forced him to ignore or suppress. Since I had gone to the effort of obtaining the application for the smaller second group, I wanted to at least experience one meeting. But each group’s application was basically an experience unto itself, 3 pages worth of intrusive questions that would seem out of line from the FBI. For the smaller group, I thought a new fake name might be enough, but like the other, larger, church, just trying to change wasn’t enough. Along with the typical questions about name, phone number and email, they wanted to know about my commitment to the church, which church I went to, my pastor’s name, whether I’d SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
tried other ministries of this type before, contact information of who to contact in case of emergency, etc (believe it or not, ex-gay internet forums do the same thing, and require many pages of private information before being allowed to join). But that was just the beginning, the second page was even worse, was I suicidal, was I “suffering” from heterosexual addiction or homosexuality (I guess homosexuality is inherently addictive), when was the last I had sex, do I live in a gay relationship, do I attend therapy of any kind (as well as whether I had a host of various diagnosis, from co-dependency to “romantic or sexual thought life”), whether or not I’d been convicted of a sexual felony, or if I was involved in gay activism. But my favorite question asked was whether or not I had been “saved by the blood of Christ” and if so, how long? Now I’m quite aware that being born again is clearly the most important facet of these people’s lives, and always the turning point in their lives, so they’d obviously know approximately how long. But to actually answer the question in extremely formal paperwork, which has to take the specificity of the experience out of it, and really reveals how much of an impersonal and rote conversion it is. Imagine your high school gym teacher filling out some form with yes or no checkboxes: “Right handed?” “Require headgear?” “Born again?” The unfortunate part was that other than making up an address for myself, and the name and phone number for my emergency contact, I wasn’t able to be creative and have fun with it. Luckily, the third page asked for a detailed reason why you were there. Now I had just recently injured my head being absent minded about home furniture placement, requiring a few stitches. I decided that it was best to use the injury in the midst of a completely ridiculous and fabricated story. I wrote that as I was coming out of a gay bar a few weeks before, someone had thrown a bottle at my head and screamed “fag” as they drove by. This incident caused me so much shame and fear that I needed to stop being gay so people would no longer throw bottles at my skull. Intentionally specious reasoning. I figured that it would be best to challenge their ideals by presenting a situation that was exactly the wrong reason to want to change, because all you’ve done is validate the guy throwing the bottle. Would their fear of God and insistence on forcing their misery on others overcome such a wrongheaded decision by a perspective member? The fact that the meeting was in the middle of nowhere and in a notoriously lower class neighborhood gave credence to the notion that religion takes advantage of the poor. The church looked almost boarded up, as if its existence was a secret. As I pulled on each locked door, I realized that the shame inherent in the process wasn’t just subtext, but, in this case, the only text. When I finally found the door which was open (the basement door!), the passageway resembled something closer to the underground railroad, labyrinth as it was. I was the second to arrive, the only other guy was the same one who had told me about the meeting in the first place, still looking like a confused and sleep deprived frat boy. He greeted me, not recognizing me (I had gone incognito with a long hair and beard combo), and in his jittery tone, asked if I was new. When I later found out he would be leading the meeting, I wasn’t surprised that the membership was rather low, how could you have faith in someone who was so nervous and lacked confidence. I had handed him my application with tempered excitement, it was like being unable to control your noisiness while a friend reads something rather personal, and I was mildly
hurt when he barely looked at it. When I asked if there was something wrong, I figured the application must be of utmost importance if the only way to get it was through all these hoops and hurdles. By the time the meeting was supposed to have started, only one other person had shown up. We waited another fifteen minutes and people began filing in. To no surprise at all, every one of the 7 there were white. Whether this self-hatred is a variation of white guilt, I’m not sure, but it appears to be based on the notion that since white Christians have never really been victimized by hate in this country, they direct it inward. This became more obvious when the final member of the group arrived. Apparently, he was the actual group leader, a very intense but studious black man, who was getting married a week later, and therefore was leaving the group. Each member did their confessions, and when they were done, there would be questions. For such an invasive application you’d assume that it would cause the members to be more open, but again, my bogus story was far more direct and “honest” than anyone else was willing to share, but I was the most honest liar there. What I was not expecting is that the entire twohour meeting was focused almost solely on me. My questions tended to be confusion about guilt and the way the Bible is misread in order to make you feel like a horrible, unworthy person. Again, I got away with this by seeming curious, not angry. Our new black king would constantly reinforce that the problem was that I was not a believer, what I was describing with myself was a problem with sex addiction, and maybe I shouldn’t be there. But politely… I used this as an opportunity to pick apart the obvious issues within the group. When anyone talked about their love of the lord or what happened that week, they claimed to be happy, but they looked miserable. The man on my left was the gayest man I’d ever met, to the point of embarrassing femininity, double lisping, limp-wristed, pinky in the air, so swishy he needed a clothing line named after him, and so I needled, subtly regarding who he thought he was fooling [with a wedding ring, to boot!]. The debate continued with the discussion of Maximized Manhood, with which we were to have read six chapters in preparation. This misogynist screed, written in 1982 (much like everything I saw, each text was extremely dated), by a pastor who viewed himself as strong-willed and honest, as opposed to what was clearly going on; he was a mean, bitter asshole, who picked apart people’s faults and told them it was all in the name of Jesus. And that doesn’t include his overt piousness. Speaking of a woman in a wheelchair dying of cancer, who has said nothing to him, and has rejected God, he writes, “we had talked only for a few minutes, but I could tell by looking at her that she wanted to talk to Jesus.” He uses vague, hard to fathom stories to back up his points and the specific ones are horrifying; telling a widow she needs to get over herself, an abused divorcee is an adulterer for desiring sex, a husband leaves his wife and kids for women and money, and when he comes back, she is supposed to forgive him. The fact that I brought up any of this was a distraction to our leader. Other people started agreeing with me, before he eventually said that the reason I couldn’t understand the text, was because I wasn’t a believer, and I would never see their point of view. He spent the remaining ten minutes dictating the meaning of each section of the text, with no thought or opportunity for discussion, it just was as he said it was. These strategies of evasiveness and dictation are
quite common. In my reading of many of the ex-gay books, the former Christian anger against gays is replaced by pointing and observing as if they were animals in a zoo. In A Parent’s Guide To Preventing Homosexuality, anyone with abnormal thoughts of any kind is to be “converted.” If you are a male and have female friends you must be gay. If you have a distant father and close mother, you are gay. You should respect your child’s feelings and tell him to express them, but then subtly try to change them. A father must wrestle with his son on the carpet and take showers with him. “My adult homosexual clients rarely report having shared these activities with their fathers.” Gay behavior is so misunderstood and shied away from direct contact that even an autobiographical conversion book is sterile. John Paulk, former ex-gay poster boy and Focus on the Family puppet, now disgraced hypocrite, has all of his characters in Not Afraid to Change talk in “awshucks” language using phrases like “you bet,” and “he’s gay all right.” Even his descriptions of his time as an escort is completely innocent, all he gives are massages. The whole book is very detailed except for the homosexual acts, at which point it backs off. The book is theoretically lascivious, but at the same time obviously sanitized for responsibility and content. It is written as if his conversion was just a decision he made one day, because his gay life was just something he could escape, like a vacation (read the book anyway, it is unintentionally hilarious). When I watched Sad To Be Gay, a British documentary about a gay man who tries to change his sexuality, that same tone of, if you don’t agree with me completely, I can’t hear you is what comes through the loudest. Since re-orientation is an American phenomenon, he has to travel to Memphis to have it done (all white people in the meetings again). This is probably Americans believe in the quick fix, and a two week course is apparently all it takes to de-gay you. Much like John in the interview above, the subject is horrified when he attends a lecture by a man claiming to be holy, but at that time, was on trial for molesting children. It brings to mind several questions about conversion therapy; Is this another scam to bring people into religion by catering to further insecurities? Is it a con, or a self-delusion? Why can the process only be done in a very specific way, and it must follow the doctrines of the bible? Why does someone have to follow a very specific religion in order to be accepted among the unacceptable? Why can’t people trust themselves enough to just be happy, and not think there must be something wrong? Even if there is a God, why would he want you to suffer for the simple act of being yourself?
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DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD by Romeo San Vicente
DON ROOS GOES TO THE DOGS
GUINEVERE TURNER TAPS THE FEED
L WORD‘S SHELLEY FACES A TERRIFYING DAY
LINDSAY’S GOT LABOR PAINS
You’ve probably already seen the teasers for Marley & Me, featuring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston chasing an adorable puppy down the beach to the theme from Chariots of Fire. So what could possibly be gay about this comedy, based on the best-selling book, about a family that learns valuable life lessons from their dog? Plenty. For one thing, the screenplay is being co-written by Don Roos, the hilarious genius behind such dark, man-on-man-inclusive comedies as The Opposite of Sex and Happy Endings. Add to that director David Frankel, whose most recent gig pre-Marley was guiding Meryl Streep to an umpteenth Oscar nomination in the fabulous The Devil Wears Prada. Be on the lookout for witty, queer, yet family-friendly subtext when Marley scampers into theaters on Christmas Day.
She’s a successful actress and screenwriter, a pioneer among out-of-the-closet movie stars, and one of the sexiest women in Hollywood. So Romeo is always thrilled to hear about a new project involving lesbian dynamo Guinevere Turner. [If you haven’t already checked out the recently released “Guinevere Turner Signature Edition” of her ‘90s kink-comedy Preaching to the Perverted, pick it up.) Turner will next grace the screen in Feed, an indie drama about a media-obsessed blogger who shoots a video that winds up on the 5 o’clock news. The leak of the clip puts her and her fellow underground newsies in grave danger. The directorial debut of [female) filmmaker Mel Robertson, Feed is expected to beam onto the big screen before the end of 2008.
During Rachel Shelley’s stint playing ditsy Brit heiress Helena Peabody on The L Word, we’ve seen the character be a spoiled brat, an amorous convict, a compulsive gambler, a Hollywood hotshot, and a doting mom. Shelley gets parental once again in the upcoming horror film The Day, but with a completely different spin. The new movie, set on Christmas Day, has vacationing parents fighting to survive when their formerly adorable children suddenly turn on Mums and Daddy. [That’ll teach you not to buy everything on their holiday wish list!) The Day, co-starring Stephen Campbell Moore [The History Boys, The Bank Job), is set for release this year in the U.K. and later [meaning nobody knows when) in the U.S.
Unlike other Hollywood party girls, Lindsay Lohan is a talented actress in everything from The Parent Trap to Mean Girls to A Prairie Home Companion. And now she’s taking advantage of the recently developed “glass closet” phenomenon in Hollywood - that means she doesn’t speak to the press about it, but is clearly involved with British DJ Samantha Ronson and not shy about demonstrating it. If Lohan is indeed a lesbian now [or “just for now”), it means she’s at least as welcome on our team as Anne Heche used to be. And she’ll next be seen in Labor Pains, a comedy about a woman who has to spend nine months pretending to be pregnant. Also featuring such comedy greats as Cheryl Hines, Janeane Garofalo, and Willie Garson [Sex and the City), Labor Pains will burst forth into theaters in 2009.
Romeo San Vicente dated a DJ once. You thought there was going to be a joke about 12 inches in there, didn’t you? Never assume. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.
ARTS
DAC Hosts Sep 27 Studio Session with Artist Ron Kroutel
Titration2: Park Fiction On View Sep 25 Outdoor Sculpture Exhibition coming to Dublin’s Coffman Park
Titration2: Park Fiction, the second phase of Dublin Arts Council’s on-loan outdoor sculpture exhibition series, will be installed in Dublin’s Coffman Park, 5200 Emerald Pkwy, in September. The Park Fiction theme illustrates the whimsy and human connection to the outdoor recreational spaces in our midst. The exhibition is brought to life through four groupings, each ranging in size from three to more than 50 sculptural elements. Co-curated by Dublin Arts Council Executive Director David Guion, Ph.D. and public art curator Jesse Levesque Bishop of Louisville, KY, installations of the artworks by four artists will take place beginning in early September. The exhibition will be on view beginning Sep 25 and will be dedicated Oct 20 from 5p-7p in Coffman Park with informal artist talks and a self-guided public tour. Park Fiction will remain on view from dawn to dusk, seven days per week, through September 2009. Park Fiction includes “Shell People,” four lifeSEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
sized fiberglass and marine resin human likenesses by La Grange, KY, artist Todd Smith, which will be installed in trees around the park. The “Shell People,” if they were able, would be invited to gather on any of three “Modified Social Benches,” approximate 4- by 6-foot powder coated steel sculptures that were created by Copenhagen-born artist Jeppe Hein in his Berlin studio. The other Park Fiction installations include “Peep Boxes,” three unassuming-looking wooden and synthetic structures by artist Danielle Wallis of Alameda, CA, that, upon closer inspection, contain miniature reflections of suburban park spaces which are accessed visually through a peek-hole. The fourth installation encompasses two distinct locations, with cast bronze and poured glass artworks by Hiroshima, Japan-born sculptor Daisuke Shintani who will come to Dublin from his Allentown, PA, studio to install the artworks. Evocative of numerous tree leaves with vine branches, one of his artworks will be installed over a public water feature in the park. “We created this thematic sculpture exhibition to portray objects associated with leisure, while sensa-
tionalizing one’s typical city park experience,” explains Guion. “The artwork itself reflects a caricature of its environment.” The October dedication of Park Fiction also marks the beginning of the second annual community voting process. Dublin Arts Council (DAC) will solicit feedback from residents and visitors via in-person, online and mail balloting through Nov| 30 to interactively guide DAC’s selection of at least one of the sculptures to acquire as a gift to the City. According to Guion, “The Titration exhibition series reflects the fluid properties of its name in the figurative sense: our changing community, Dublin’s growing collection of public art and Dublin’s sense of cultural identity.” Titration is a common laboratory method used to add a measured quantity of a reagent, called a titrant, into an unknown reagent, called a reactant, to produce a chemical reaction. For more information about any of Dublin Arts Council’s classes, programs, exhibitions and events, call 614.889.7444 or visit www.dublinarts.org. Dublin Arts Council (DAC), now in its 25th anniversary year, is located at 7125 Riverside Dr. in Dublin, Ohio. Hours are Tues., 10a-7p; Wed/Thu/Fri, 10a–5p; and Sat, 11a-2p. DAC is supported in part by the City of Dublin’s Hotel/Motel tax endowment and the Ohio Arts Council. DAC engages the community, cultivates creativity and fosters life-long learning through the arts.
Dublin Arts Council (DAC) will host a studio session with artist Ron Kroutel at the Dublin Arts Center (7125 Riverside Dr, Dublin), on Sat., Sep 27 from 9a-5p. The session is open to participants ages 17 and above. Fees are $75 per person, or $65 for DAC members. Registration deadline is Sept. 20. Participants will explore Altered Landscapes Here and Now: Works by Ron Kroutel, an exhibition of oil and acrylic paintings that illustrate the juxtaposition of natural and man-made landscape. The exhibition is currently on view in DAC’s main gallery and closes at the end of the workshop. Studio participants will enjoy an artist-led demonstration of techniques, and will create their own sketch using material at the scenic Dublin Arts Center. Participants will learn to expand meaning in their artwork, creatively rework their compositions and will begin a painting based on their exploration. Kroutel, a resident of Athens, Ohio, is a Professor Emeritus of Art at Ohio University. He has been awarded three Ohio Arts Council Fellowships, an Arts Midwest National Endowment for the Arts fellowship and has exhibited nationally and internationally in more than 30 solo exhibitions. Kroutel’s techniques are influenced by Italian artist Giovanni Battista Piranesi, known for his etchings of Rome, English romantic painter John Constable, American modernist Edward Hopper and many other artists of the past. For more information or to register for the studio session, please visit www.dublinarts.org or call DAC at 614.889.7444.
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INTERVIEW by Gregg Shapiro
Sweet sounds: an interview with Catie Curtis A couple of years have passed since out singer/songwriter Catie Curtis released her solid and radiant Long Night Moon disc. Not one to let too much time pass, Curtis has returned with the vibrant and engaging Sweet Life (Compass). From the self-reflective and festive title track to the soaring nostalgia of “Are You Ready To Fly” to the soothing “For Now” and the celebration of motherhood that is “The Princess and The Mermaid,” Curtis has once again delivered an outstanding recording that is bound to bring sweet smiles and thoughtful moment to listeners. I spoke with Catie shortly before the release of the disc. Gregg Shapiro: Your new album Sweet Life opens with the bittersweet title tune, which has an unmistakable trace of wit. Is it important for you to include humor in your work? Catie Curtis: Yeah! I feel like work that’s entirely self-reflective with no humor would get pretty grating after a while. As we all know (laughs), we’ve all been there. GS: The theme of the album is seeing “the beauty that is there alongside the trouble,” with the song “Happy” being a perfect example. Have you always had an optimistic streak or did you find it necessary to get one with the current state of things? CC: (Laughs) I think I’ve always had it. And in some ways it put me out of line with most artists in, say, the ‘90s where it was a little uncool (laughs) to be optimistic. Now, perhaps people have reached the saturation point with cynicism. Maybe some people have. So maybe what I’m doing is going to be incredibly hip now (laughs). GS: I think so! Especially with “The Princess and the Mermaid,” a wonderful song about parenthood. How would you say that being a parent has changed you? CC: You have to become more patient. Once you see a person that way, you learn to apply that tool, that craft of seeing things with more patience and compassion beyond just your kids. When I’m irritated with people or with the SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008
state of things in the world, I find it more useful, nowadays, to apply the tools I’ve learned as a parent to try to understand why things are the way they are and to have a little patience about things. GS: You and your family still live in Massachusetts. Did you and Liz get married there? CC: You bet (laughs)! Yeah, it’s great. We were able to make sure that we are all legally connected and protected. GS: On the album Sweet Life, you go in a different musical direction on the song “Lovely.” What was the inspiration for that? CC: The first inspiration was seeing Susan Werner. She did a record of original jazz tunes (I Can’t Be New) and I did a co-bill with her. I was impressed by it and I thought I would try it, because I grew up singing songs that sounded like that with my family. I thought, “I have this in me. I should be able to do one of these.” Most of my material is now about family and long-term relationships and it was fun to step outside of that and do a song about early flirtation and intrigue. Take on a persona that was different from me. GS: Over the years, you have included cover tunes on your discs, most notably the two Mark Sandman songs you recorded. On Sweet Life you do a breathtaking cover of Death Cab For Cutie’s “Soul Meets Body.” Why did you choose that song? CC: I was on tour and tired of my own songs one night in Florida (laughs) and I love the Death Cab record “Plans.” I went through it thinking, “I wonder if there’s anything on here.” And I had this feeling like my audience probably doesn’t know this stuff and that’s really why I covered it. Thinking most people who would buy a Catie Curtis record, or many people who would buy one, may not own a Death Cab record. So, I thought, here’s a great song that a lot of people probably wouldn’t hear if I didn’t put it on this record. Another thing that was really cool was that none of the players on the record knew that it was a Death Cab song.
They thought it was my song, and they were just playing it along. I thought that was neat, because none of them had heard the original arrangement. GS: Are you aware anybody who has covered one of your songs? CC: Trisha Yearwood covered one for a while. She performed it, but didn’t record it. Some country acts have, but nothing on a major label. People send me stuff all the time. If you go to YouTube, can see a lot of people doing covers of my songs there. It’s always interesting. Sometimes I do listen and go, “Oh, that’s a cool approach.” GS: You have also collaborated with some amazing people over the years, including out singer/songwriter Mary Gauthier, Beth Nielsen Chapman and Mark Erelli. On Sweet Life you co-wrote a couple of songs with Fred Wilhelm. What do you like about the collaborative process? CC: This guy Fred (Wilhelm) is a writer based in Nashville. He has a lot of get up and go. I’ve been writing for a long time. I will spend a month on one song. This guy is in the practice of writing a song a day. So when we get together, I call him the believer, because he fully believes that we are going to write a song from start to finish in one day. And then what ends up happening is that we get a solid idea and we get it started and then I take that song and work on it for two or three more weeks by myself. Still, that’s better progress than I often make on my own. He is also willing to take on a tough subject. Like the song we wrote together, “What You Can’t Believe.” I found that was a very tough topic to write about. I kept saying, “this is too complicated. We’re going to confuse ourselves, let’s skip it.” He’s funny and he’s like, “If anyone has the tools to do this, Catie, we do!” He just kept pushing me to believe that it was possible to write a song about a complex subject, like faith and depression. GS: I’m glad that you mentioned Nashville.
Did making Sweet Life there have anything to do with it being your second disc for Nashville-based Compass Records? CC: Yeah. The producer (Garry West) is the president of Compass Records and the studio is Compass Records Studio. For me, it was the chance to go forward and make a record that is cut live with a really great band. I think that there is something that happens in New England where we tend to get really cerebral about our records and very conscious about thinking about what’s going to make this record different. What Garry kept saying is that each of these songs has its own identity and we don’t have to over-think it. We can just let these tremendous musicians play on it and take it from there. That really worked for me with this one. There’s this kind of lack of attachment. It was really loose and natural. I think the record sounds relaxed and loose and natural and warm and friendly. These things that are hard to pull off if you’re carefully crafting a record with one other person, bringing in one person at a time to studiously come up with parts. It was loose and fun and light to make. That felt different. GS: Have you played any of these songs on Sweet Life live before you recorded them or are they being heard live for the first time on this tour? CC: Some of them I’ve been holding back. I’m looking forward to being able to play a lot of them in one show. I had been trying to play only a few each show. But I don’t do that thing where you hold back all your material. Frankly, that’s how I learn what songs are going to make the record. I know that’s not how they do it in the larger, radio-oriented mainstream industry. But that’s how I do it; I road-test everything. Catie Curtis is performing with Randall Williams at the Columbus Performing Arts Center akd CPAC (549 Franklin Ave) on Sep 26 8p; $20 advance, $23 door. For more info: www.sixstring.org or catiecurtis.com.
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PUCKER UP by Tristan Taormino
Nina Hartley’s Guide to Pregnant Sex Her latest movie offers a sex-positive approach to that oft-neglected subject I flew to Minneapolis last month to celebrate the fifth anniversary of feminist-womenowned sex shop the Smitten Kitten (smittenkittenonline.com). Co-founder and owner Jennifer, with her partner Davis, just had a baby, who was then two and half weeks old. Usually they’re up to their eyeballs in dildo harnesses and butt plugs, but this trip, these two sex activists were all about cloth diapers and breast-feeding. Their baby was one of the most chilled-out infants I’ve ever met - he even slept as we partied at a local lesbian bar! The proud parents were so funny: They asked Penny Flame and Adrianna Nicole stars of my porn reality series Chemistry and special guests at the store’s big anniversary party - to pose for some pictures with their son for the baby book! I mean, I’m sure there’s a page for “My First Photo With Porn Stars,” right? Several people I know have recently gotten pregnant, and as they pore through resources on every aspect of being knocked up, there’s one topic that’s still challenging to find clear, sex-positive information about: sex. It makes me think of one of the first essays I read on the subject, in a book by Susie Bright (susiebright.com) - she talks frankly and specifically about some of the sexual changes she experienced while she was pregnant in the ‘80s. For one thing, she found she couldn’t masturbate the same way: “I was stunned and a little panicky. My engorged clitoris was different under my fingers; too sensitive to touch my usual way, and what other way was there?” She theorizes that one of the reasons some couples stop having sex during a pregnancy is that they’re unprepared for some of the radical changes: “What happens is that your normal sexual patterns don’t work anymore. Unless you and your lover make the transition to new
ways of getting excited and reaching orgasm, you are going to be very depressed about sex and start avoiding it altogether.” But who prepares you to cope with such a dramatic shift in your sex life? It’s not usually part of the typical birthing class, your mom’s advice, or the girl talk at a baby shower. Finally, two of the most capable names in sex ed have created a resource unlike any other. Nina Hartley (nina.com) and Ernest Greene, her husband and the director of her video series for Adam & Eve, have produced Nina Hartley’s Guide to Great Sex During Pregnancy. As porn-industry veterans, this duo knows well how pregnant women are portrayed in the industry: They’re fetishized as BareAssed and Pregnant and Maternity Nymphos. (Notably, they’re also often featured alongside big girls and transwomen in series like Fuck a Freak and Perversions). Pregger porn has become a small but viable niche, but no one has ever represented pregnant women in a sensual and thoughtful way, or treated pregnant sex as anything other than a kinky turn-on. No one has made a video that addresses the many issues of pregnant sex. For the mom-to-be, there are changes to her body, hormone levels, and libido. Some women feel extremely sexy when they’re pregnant, while others struggle with their body image. Everything is in flux, from their sexual desires and fantasies to how responsive their bodies are and what positions are comfortable. Their partners can feel neglected, confused about how to interact with their partners sexually, or ambivalent about sex during the pregnancy. Says Hartley: “Though attitudes have changed a lot toward the sexuality of pregnant women, many people still feel it’s ‘wrong’ to make love during pregnancy, or they want to
but fear it will hurt the baby. It’s important to have out there a film that shows healthy, pregnant sex that isn’t played for its fetish value, or for laughs, but as a serious topic worthy of respect.” She and Greene are very proud of their film; Greene calls it “one of the most important titles in Nina’s entire instructional series.” When I recently saw the couple in Los Angeles, he told me why he thinks it’s so special: “The emphasis on emotions as well as anatomy treats pregnancy as a joyful, shared experience to be incorporated into lovemaking, rather than an obstacle to sexual intimacy that must be worked around. That both our stars have knowledge to share from prior pregnancies lends the whole presentation a depth and authenticity that will be helpful and reassuring to couples in similar circumstances for years to come.” It may have porn stars on the cover and plenty of explicit sex inside, but this is a film where you do not want to fast-forward to get to the fucking: The first 25 minutes feature frank, fascinating discussions between Hartley and two pregnant performers that are chock-full of real women’s experiences and opinions that cover everything from changes to their bodies (one of the women says that her labia are twice their normal size) to genital waxing (much more painful when you’re expecting) to favorite ways to get warmed up for sex (foot and back massages!). The discussions are followed by two sex scenes: In the first, Hartley and Tiffany Minx demonstrate lots of techniques, from perineal massage to strap-on sex positions (making this a great resource for queer women as well). Hartley is always a pro, but her sex-positive attitude lends itself especially well to this scene, making it informative and validating as well as sexy and fun.
The second scene features a real-life couple, and their chemistry and connection are beautiful to watch. Says Greene: “The performer, who now goes by the moniker of NoName Jane, did a lovely scene with her young husband whose baby she was carrying, in which the passion and affection are truly magical to behold. Our crew, many of whom are family men themselves, were genuinely awed, which is not a common thing among guys who shoot porn for a living. At one point, I looked over at my lighting director, who is a father of four himself, and he had a huge grin on his face and a tear in his eye. Moments like that make even such a complex production worth the effort. I can truly say that there has never been a video like this one, and that there probably won’t ever be anything similar on the market in the future.” A bold statement? Well, this one lives up to the hype. Visit my websites, puckerup.com and openingup.net
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 27
CLASSIFIEDS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY
HOUSING/FOR RENT
FLORAL BUSINESS 70-year-old family-run floral business for sale. Established clients, great location. Please call Mary McCarthy at Sunbelt Business Brokers, 614.734.8338, for more information.
OLDE TOWNE EAST 1096 & 1104 Bryden Rd, 1 BR apartments available, new kitchen, wd flrs, vaulted ceiling, $450/mo. More OTE rentals available. Call Beacon Property Mgmt. at 614.228.6700.
HELP WANTED
REAL ESTATE
SALES ASSISTANT Fulltime/parttime, Tues thru Sat schedule. Vintage jewelry store seeking assistant for sales, window display, jewelry prep, general retail shop duties. Send resume or apply in person to 3387 North High Street, Columbus, Ohio 43202. Or call Lou at 614.224 .9914 between 10:30a-6p Tuesday thru Friday for additional info.
SECLUDED RETREATS 2 - 2BR secluded retreats for sale or lease. Both are recent builds with all the amenities. Each have open floor plans, pool, lake, picturesque and private. Both within 1 hour driving distance to Columbus. Call 740.607.4750 BUY ADS! • 614.268.8525
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28 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 29
SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage
So I have been in a relationship with the same guy since I was about 16. It’s been a little over four years now, but I came out to him a year ago about the fact that I’m bisexual, which he has no problem with. So since then, I have had wild fantasies about a threesome with a really hot girl. But it’s a lot harder to arrange that than it seems. Do you have any suggestions about how we can find a third? We’ve already tried Craigslist with no luck. Where The Girls At? You think your luck with Craiglist is bad, WTGA? Jeff Gradney, a television news reporter in Las Vegas, lost his job after some anonymous douchebag alerted the management at KTNV-TV “Channel 13 Action News” to the fact that Gradney and his girlfriend placed an ad on Craigslist seeking a third. Sexphobia? Definitely. Homophobia? Perhaps: Gradney and his girlfriend were looking for another dude. And for this infraction which had nothing to do with his job performance - Gradney was fired. So much for “Action News,” huh? (People who’ve had three-ways - or not - are invited to come to Gradney’s defense. Send an outraged e-mail to KTNV-TV’s vice president and general manager Jim Prather at jprather@ktnv.com.) Gradney’s dismissal came a week after a pair of nationally ranked college wrestlers - including a 2007 national champion - were booted from the University of Nebraska wrestling team after it emerged that both had jerked off for an Internet porn site. (Solo jerk-off scenes, nothing gay about ’em, although the website is aimed at gay men.) Sexphobes will say that Gradney and those college wrestlers got what was coming to ’em. People shouldn’t let it all hang out on the interwebs - or spurt out, in the case of the wrestlers unless they’re prepared to lose their jobs, their spots on the team, their shot at being an “American Idol,” etc. But with so many people documenting their lives online, and with so many people using the internet as a tool to seek sexual fulfillment, and in our thoroughly exhibitionist culture, one might think that people could picture themselves in Gradney’s shoes, or those wrestlers’ singlets, and cut ’em a little fucking slack. If I may tweak a phrase: What happens online really ought to stay online. Your internet personals shouldn’t be something that can be used against you by bluenoses at work; if you like to show off and you want to wank for the web, that
shouldn’t matter to the douchebags who run the NCAA. (Hello, NCAA? Want to generate interest in the sport? Encourage more college wrestlers to make JO videos.) Here’s hoping that we soon reach a web-exposure tipping point, a time when everyone has something out there online that’s sexually explicit or deeply embarrassing or both. When that blessed day arrives, we’ll think twice about firing someone or cutting someone from the team for the crime of letting it all hang out online because, hey, we’ve got it all hanging out online, too. As for how to find a third, WTGA: Most people looking for thirds want someone who’s totally trustworthy and honest, someone who comes guaranteed to be disease-free, but they also want that someone to be a complete stranger whom they’ll never see again after the three-way is over. Those someones don’t exist, WTGA. If you really want to have a three-way, you either go with the likely-to-be-skeezy stranger you met online and risk dismemberment or you approach a trusted, attractive friend and risk rejection. I am a 30-year-old woman in a relationship with my childhood sweetheart. My boyfriend and I got together when we were 15. That’s 15 years ago. It was - and remains - an intense and extraordinary intellectual compatibility. He’s the funniest and smartest person I have ever met. Sure we have had our ups and downs, but there is a lot of good stuff there. Okay, cutting to the chase: I have never slept with another man and I don’t want to. I no longer want to have sex with him and have been having sex with women behind his back. I have long been attracted to women and suspect I would have been in a relationship with one by now if my life took a different path. I love my boyfriend, his family, our friends, our life. But nothing makes me feel more “me” than lying next to a woman after we have gotten each other off for hours on end. Do I come out, wreck my life and his, all because of one small part of who I am? Or do I stop being an unfaithful bitch and make things work with the man I love? Why Do I Have To Dig Chicks? First off, WDIHTDC, no one has to dig chicks. It’s an elective, not a course requirement. (Except at Brown, of course.) Now, seeing as you and your boyfriend are young enough to get out there and find new partners relatively easily, and seeing as this man who you profess to love has a right (1) not to be
lied to for the rest of his life and (2) not to be cheated on for the rest of his life and (3) to be with a woman who actually wants to have sex with him, there’s only one possible course of action here. Thank your boyfriend for his years of faithful service - honor his service - and then cut his ass loose. If you play your cards right, WDIHTDC, you may be able to keep your ex, his family, and your mutual friends in your life. But if you continue to lie and cheat and munch carpet on the down-low, and you get caught and outed, it’s unlikely that your ex, his family, and your mutual friends will want to see your lying, cheating, carpetmunchin’ face ever again. I just read the advice you gave to the kid married for six months. His wife bought a strap-on once he brought up anal. You threw a line in there about the University of Pittsburgh and Bend Over Boyfriend, an instructional video about pegging. Are you implying that the Pitt girls are into this? I live 10 minutes from the main campus and would love to find a dominant pegger. Just don’t know how I would even begin the conversation. Submissive U-Peggee Did I say that U-Pitt shows Bend Over Boyfriend as a part of freshman orientation? I may have misspoken. Or mistypen. It’s just that I recently gave a speech at U-Pitt, and the students there asked so many questions about pegging during the Q&A that I just assumed that Bend Over Boyfriend is shown to incoming classes at that fine institution of higher learning. (And I’m not saying that it shouldn’t be shown, only that it isn’t. It most definitely should. Indeed, Bend Over Boyfriend should be shown continuously in every frat house in North America from late August through early June.) But I would beg you, SUP, not to stalk U-Pitt’s campus in search of a dominant pegger. If you’re having trouble finding a pegger through normal channels (surfing the web, asking women you’re dating, hanging out at Wendy’s), SUP, then you’ll just have to rent one. Oh, and speaking of speaking at colleges: If you want me to come to your campus and give a talk - we call it “Savage Love Live” - e-mail the folks who handle my speaking gigs at savagelove@kepplerspeakers.com. Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com, savage.mail@savagelove.net
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30 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
ABOUT TOWN
Columbus Gets Schooled Ring the bell, school’s in session. And the heat will be on in the classroom Sep 27 as Dangerous Productions presents its Hot for Teacher show at Wall Street. Doors open at 8p. Show time is at 9p. Hot for Teacher will not be your typical song and dance kind of drag king show. Schoolboys and girls alike will be smitten by the naughty numbers featured on stage. The performances will make you want to end up in the principal’s office. Not only will there be acts presented by local favorites - such as Gavin Danger, founder of Dangerous Productions; Catt Dazzle; Davey Mae; Taylor Mayde; and more - but there will also be a bevy of “substitute teachers” from out of town. The Cleveland Kings and Girls will grace the stage as will Kitty Victorian, a Washington, D.C. burlesque specialist who runs a “burlesque university,” where she teaches her students the art of tease. The audience will also get schooled by Venus Fly Trap, an all-female hip hop crew with members from all over the U.S. that specializes in original hip hop styles and are the part of the “popular clique” accordingly. Such a diverse line-up is reason enough to
not play hooky. “It is really about the variety and the shows are comprised of half in town and half out of town performers. Getting out of town perfomers to come to Columbus is a special treat for spectators,” says Danger, who adds that the show will entail not just kings and queens, but also bio boys and girls, singers, dancers and gender perfomers of all kinds. It was a no-brainer to put together such a comprehensive lesson plan, since the show is serving as a fundraiser for IDKE X, an international drag king conference that will come home to Columbus this October. The event was started in Columbus 10 years ago and has been traveling for the past five years. Last year’s conference was in Vancouver, British Columbia. Whether you’re a chronic class skipper or a straight A student, Danger promises this show will be worthy of studying. “If you usually go to drag shows, you will see things you have not seen on stage before. If you have never been to a show, expect to be surprised. Not all shows are about drag kings, but rather a forum to express gender and performance,” Danger says.
Hot for Teacher is a theme Dangerous Productions has always wanted to visit. “The naughty school girl/boy theme is appealing for so many people. We have all had crushes on teachers at some point,” Danger says. Indeed. And those crushes are certainly motivating enough for extra credit! Following the show, on Sunday from 1p-3p at Stonewall Community Center, performers will offer tips and tricks on drag and burlesque for all of the teacher’s pets. Danger will facilitate Drag King 101, a class focusing on the basics of how to be a drag king. Kitty Victorian will host Burlesque 101, with tips on how to strip for your lover. Bring your heels and learn how to strut your stuff. There will be no nudity. You’ll want to be assigned homework after these classes. Registration begins at 12:30p. For early registration, email Danger at gavindanger@yahoo.com or visit www.burlesqueuniversity.com. Cost is $20 per class. If you need to study up more on this event, visit www.myspace.com/dangerous_productions or www.stonewallcolumbus.org.
COLUMBUS N E X T M E E T I N G : O C T O B E R 8 , 6 P - 8 P • L O C AT I O N : WEXNER CENTER • S P E A K E R : P A U L A B R O O K S • WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 31
fin
THE LAST WORD by Jennifer Vanasco
Pardon My Non Partisan I’ve recently discovered something about myself: I’m not a partisan. I thought I was. I’m a stalwart Democrat. I have strong opinions. But even though there are issues I feel strongly about - gay civil rights, universal health care, abortion rights, the role of government in society – I tend to believe that a person’s political party doesn’t define them as a person. And that means that a person’s political party doesn’t necessarily reveal their positions on political issues. Sometimes they do. In the way that you can generally guess that if someone is gay they are also a Democrat, you can guess that if someone is a Republican they are more likely to be socially conservative. The company we keep does define who we are, to a limited extent. After all, who among us hasn’t found that our views on some issues were influenced by the political party we choose to support? But not all gay people are Democrats (hence the Log Cabin Republicans), not all Republicans are socially conservative, and not all Democrats believe in gay civil rights. Americans like labels. I’m thinking about this because I work in a mostly gay office, where almost everyone follows politics closely and has strong opinions. Last week, during the Republican National Convention, many of my colleagues dropped by to ask me what I thought of the speeches,
what I thought of Sarah Palin, what I thought of John McCain. And one of them said: “I just don’t understand the Log Cabin Republicans. How can someone be both gay and Republican?” Someone else, commenting on a news story on the web, compared gay Republicans to Jewish people who worked for the Nazis. I understand the feeling here. Many Republicans have proven themselves to not be friends on our issues. John McCain, for example, has never voted for any gay rights bill. Sarah Palin’s church is one that tries to convince gay people that they can become ex-gay – and that this would be healthier, more fulfilling and more pleasing to God. But just because some Republicans feel this way, and because the party as a whole does not accept the fight for gay civil rights as part of its platform, doesn’t mean that Republicans are de facto evil. Republicans are not, in fact, Nazis, and it
is offensive to call them so. I grew up with Republicans. My mother, my father, most of my neighbors, the parents of my friends – pretty much all Republican. Only a few of my high school teachers admitted to being Democrats. I myself thought I was a Republican until just before my 18th birthday, when I registered as a Democrat. Most Republicans, I think, want what most Democrats want: a country that is prosperous, with people who are able to work, own homes and have families. A country where everyone has an equal shot at the future they choose for themselves. A democracy where we can criticize the government, make fun of our president, and choose the leaders who best represent us. Republicans and Democrats just have different visions for how you get to that place. As for socially conservative issues – well, the Log Cabin Republicans are clearly on the right side of those. It’s not an
oxymoron to be a socially liberal Republican. Think Abraham Lincoln. Or think of my mother, now canvassing for Obama because it makes her sick to think of her party not allowing her daughter to marry. There are times when it is worth staying in a party or a city or a country in order to help it move forward. If I had to define myself politically, I’d say I was a pragmatic centrist. I believe that to advance our civil rights, we need to work with everyone who will work with us. I believe that we need visionary idealists to set goals that are high above us and far away, but that change itself is often slow and incremental. Large successes are built on a stepladder of smaller ones. Republicans are not the enemy. They are not crazy and misguided by definition, though there are crazy, misguided Republicans just as certainly as there are crazy, misguided Democrats. Republicans are just members of a party we have not converted yet. But we will never convert them to the support of gay civil rights if we dismiss everything they say as being idiotic and morally wrong. No, Republicans are not the enemy. They are simply Republicans. They comprise about half the country. And if we want our rights, we need to work with them to show them why they should want our rights, too. Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning, syndicated columnist. Email her at jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com
HOROSCOPES by Jack Fertig
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22): The stars are making you even prettier, wittier, and sexier than usual! While you have extra opportunities to choose your pleasures, think about what you really want, both in love and in life.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 20): Your colleagues would like you to get ahead, but what’s in it for them? Coax their agendas out of them, and you can lead them up the ladder of success. A little sex appeal will help, too!
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 19): A little extra romance will juice up your relationship, or help get one started. Give your sweetie some flowers, some chocolate, a night at a special restaurant, and/or an elegantly wrapped “marital aid.” Seize the night!
GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20): You may find a diplomatic way to express recent critical thoughts about family or community problems. Probing, deep insights are perhaps better focused on your entertainments; taking advantage of that outlet will make it easier to be nice to those you live with.
LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Venus in your first house makes you extra sexy, but you still need time alone. A love tryst is easily arranged, but more than passion, you need real intimacy, even if it’s just platonic. You can still get both!
CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan 19): Imagine yourself in a far-off land, monarch of all you survey, powerful, but compassionate, and the one whose favor everyone wants. Hold on to that attitude, and you can win at work and romance.
ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): Every relationship has its little problems. Those you’ve been considering lately suddenly feel more important. Go ahead and discuss them with your sweetie. What? No sweetie? Brush up on techniques, and you may find the right match.
CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): Your diplomatic talents have stepped up a notch, which may offer temptation to take on a touchy family problem. You could even succeed. But remember that listening - with your heart and your brain - is much more than half the game!
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Your ability to sense hidden agendas may be cranked up a little too much. Some paranoia can be helpful, but check your impressions with a friend. A cool, attitudinal gaze is probably just concealing shyness and desire.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): You are hungry for adventure! And however, wherever, or with whomever you want to broaden your horizons, it will take just a little effort to get what you want. You’re even likely to get more than you bargained for.
TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): At work you’re turning from collaborative charm to focused efforts, while at play you’re going from developing technique to collaborative fun. Combining work with creative pleasure offers opportunities to keep team efforts on the track to success.
LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): Tell your brothers and sisters - genetic or otherwise what you appreciate most about them. This could open possibilities for a close platonic friendship to become less platonic. Greater intimacy is guaranteed, sexually or otherwise.
Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.
SEP 18 - SEP 24 2008