10.30.08 Outlook Weekly - How Queer Friendly is CPD? by Outlook Weekly

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EEN W O L HAL • E V GE LO A V A S OP • RIP & GO V OTING GUIDE • GALLERY H

2 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com

SNAPSHOT

Generous community members came out in force to support the Kaleidoscope Youth Center and do their part to send talented young GLBT people to the next Creating Change Conference. Our very own Chris Hayes hosted the party at his lovely downtown loft, and revelers raised close to $1,400 for a very worthy cause.

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com MANAGING EDITOR Adam Leddy aleddy@outlookmedia.com COVER IMAGE: ROBERT TRAUTMAN CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mette Bach, Danielle Buckius, Wayne R Besen, Chris Crain, Jennifer Vanasco, Tom Moon, Regina Sewell, Leslie Robinson, Gregg Shapiro, Mick Weems, Julianne French, TF Barton, Romeo San Vicente, Jeff Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Tristan Taormino, Dan Savage, Felice Newman, Tim Curran, Chris Hughes, Stephen J Fallon, J. Eric Peters, Brent Wilder, Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Cheri Meyers

BUSINESS & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels mdaniels@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 ADVERTISING DEADLINE Each Wednesday 8 days prior to publication. Call us at 614.268.8525. HOW TO REACH US Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Suite ii Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookweekly.net web www.outlookmedia.com business www.myspace.com/outlookweekly friends www.flickr.com/outlookweekly photos SUBSCRIPTIONS Call 614.268.8525

READERSHIP: 210,000 PEOPLE / MONTH Outlook Weekly is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. every Thursday throughout Ohio. Outlook Weekly is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over copies of Outlook Weekly with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in Outlook Weekly are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. Outlook Weekly does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2008 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008 VOLUME 13 NUMBER 17

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...3, 30 LETTERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........4 ANYTHING BUT STRAIGHT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........6 GENERAL GAYETY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........6 RIP&GO VOTING GUIDE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........8 COMMUNITY CORNER & SPORTS . . . . . . . . . . . . .........8 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......11 POLI SCI . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......13 TRANSNATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......15 EXAMINED LIFE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......15 FEATURE: IS CPD QUEER FRIENDLY?. . . . . . . . . . 16-20 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......22 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......22 GALLERY HOP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......24 FILM & BOOKMARKS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......26 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......27 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......29 SPOTLIGHT : HALLOWEEN HAPPENINGS . . . . . . .......30 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 NEXT WEEK: ELECTION WRAPUP

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 3

ABOUT TOWN THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30 FRIGHT NIGHT AT THE SLAMMER Prison of the Evil Dead @ Ohio State Reformatory Historic Site, 800.642.8282, www.mansfieldtourism.com: The Reformatory presents Prison of the Evil Dead, featuring a haunted cellblock and loads of ghosts, demons and creepy characters brought to life. Not recommended for children under 10. Thru Nov 1. Thur 7-11p; Fri-Sat 7p-12a; $15. FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31 WHAT DO YOU WANT? Living the Law of Attraction with Victoria Vetere, Enlightened Life Coach @ Alphastate Pilates, Yoga, and Somatic Education Studio, 433 W 3rd Ave, www.enlightenedlifecoaching.com: Join Victoria Vetere for empowering information about creating the life YOU want (instead of the one you’ve settled for). 7:30p-8:30p; free. KNOCK OFF THAT RACKET! Raising Hell @ Shadowbox Cabaret, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, shadowboxcabaret.com: Original sketch comedy and heart-pounding rock ‘n’ roll unveil sinful temptations and show that naughty is sometimes nice and can always be hilarious when Shadowbox is Raising Hell. Thru Nov 15. Thu 7:30p; Fri&Sat 7:30p&10:30p; $20-$30. LOVE IN THE TIME OF DEER SEASON Escanaba in Love @ Studio 1, Riffe Center, Corner of State & High, Catco.org:Sparks fly when young Albert breaks the “no-girls-allowed” reverie of the hunting camp by bringing his new bride to meet the family. Big Betty Balou is her name - Albert “won” her in a kissing contest at a bar! Wed-Sun thru Nov 2. Thu-Sat 8p, Sun 2p&7p; $11-$39.50.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1 GO INSIDE NORMAN Rockwell’s America: Celebrating the Art of Norman Rockwell @ the Ohio Historical Society, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2314, kschuette@ohiohistory.org: Rockwell’s America is hands-on fun for the entire family. The exhibit features life-size interactive sculptures of Norman Rockwell’s most famous Saturday Evening Post cover illustrations, including a recreation of the artist’s studio. Thru March 1 ’09. Thu 9a-9p, Fri-Sat 9a-5p, Sun 12p-5p; $3 OHS members, $7-11, children 5 & under free. ART IN A FRENZY MadLab’s 48 in ’08 @ MadLab Theatre, 105 N Grant, 614.221.5418: MadLab presents 6 two-act plays created in 48 hours. Act I will be presented Nov 1, then our writers will randomly be assigned someone else’s play to write Act II, presented Nov 2. Nov 1&2 8p; $10 for each show, $15 adv purchase to see both shows. GET DIRTY FOR A COLUMBUS LANDMARK Bulb Planting @ Goodale Park: Friends of Goodale Park needs your help to plant 8,000 bulbs. Lend a hand so we can enjoy the flowers in the spring. Bring tools if you have them, or just show up to help. Saturdays thru Nov 15. 10a; free. WHERE THE WOMEN ARE Women’s Minyan @ Roth-Resler Theater, JCC of Greater Columbus, 1125 College Ave, www.jccgalleryplayers.org: Gallery Players kicks off its 60th season with the Columbus premiere of Women’s Minyan by Naomi Ragen. Thru Nov 16. Sat 8p, Sun 2:30p; $8-$18. IMPORTANT WORK AT THE WEX The Shipment @ the Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, wexarts.org: The Shipment takes the audience on a roller-coaster ride through the absurd-

by Adam Leddy ities and atrocities that arise whenever people talk about the black experience in America. Thu-Sat 8p, Sun 7p; $10-$16. GET IN WHILE YOU CAN Registration deadline for Called to Be: An Affirming Dialogue with the Transgender Community @ North Congregational United Church of Christ, 2040 W Henderson Rd, www.transitioningtogether.org/calledtobe: Register now for a weekend (Nov 14-16) of dialogue and education on trans issues with Rev Malcolm Himschoot, subject of the acclaimed film Call Me Malcolm. $10. IT MEANS ‘FOR LIFE’ ¡Por Vida! Day of the Dead celebration @ Junction View Studios, 889 Williams Ave, dodevent.blogspot.com: Celebrate the souls of our dearly departed with a costume party, art show, door prizes, food, drink, & dance. 10p-2a; $3 w/ costume, $5 w/o.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 2 DINE WITH THE ANCESTORS Feast of Samhain @ Blacklick Woods Metropark, 6975 E Livingston Ave, Reynoldsburg: Three Cranes Grove, ADF, invites you to celebrate the Feast of Samhain with us! Come with something short (think 30 sec) to say about your ancestors. This ritual is outdoors & at night; dress for the weather & feel free to bring a chair. In the event of rain, we have a threewalled shelter to provide some protection. Please bring a canned food donation & a dish for potluck. Social hour 5:30p, ritual 6:30p, potluck after; free. SHADOWBOX DOES IT AGAIN Jesus Christ Superstar @ Shadowbox Theatre, 164 Easton Town Ctr, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxcabaret.com: Powerful and political, Jesus Christ Superstar follows the lives of Jesus and Judas from the time of Jesus’ arrival in Jerusalem through his crucifixion. Full of 21st-century attitudes, the high-energy production boldly draws parallels between Christ’s time and ours. Sun thru Nov 16. 3p & 7:30p; $20-30. YOUR 15 MINUTES OF FAME Celebrity Soup @ the Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, wexarts.org: Andy Warhol: Other Voices, Other Rooms plus hands-on workshops and other special events and activities to help you explore the wide world of Warhol. 1p-5p; free. Soul Food Brunch @ James’ Club 88, 55 W Long St, 614.223.1213, www.jamesclub88.com: Enjoy Tamia Ellis while you eat soul food. Seating 12:30; $13.50 NICE ORGAN! Organ Recital @ North Broadway United Methodist Church, 48 E North Broadway, 614.268.8626, www.north-broadway.org: Rev. Carol Ann Bradley, minister of worship & music, will perform. 6:30p; free. MONDAY, NOVEMBER 3 TAFT DID WHAT IN THIS ROOM? Presidential Tours @ the Statehouse, 614.728.2695, bhayden@csrab.state.oh.us: Be led through the Statehouse by General US Grant, and learn about each of Ohio’s eight presidents. 12p; free. WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 5 GET RIGHT WITH GOD Eat, Learn, & Live @ North Broadway United Methodist, 48 E North Broadway, www.north-broadway.org: Adult spiritual formation and growth based on Marcus J. Borg’s Reading The Bible Again for the First Time (copies provided). Childcare provided with reservations. Every Wed thru Nov 15.. 6p-8p; free. OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

4 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

LETTERS Our Time Has Come To the Editor: Can you see the beautiful golden glow of the dawn of our community’s first truly happy morning together, in celebration of our victory over centuries of lies, murder, oppression and inequalities against our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters by state and ecclesiastical authorities? At first, I felt disappointment when it seemed that Sen Obama hadn’t clearly stated his commitment to the restoration of the civil rights that gays and lesbians are guaranteed by our Constitution. But then, as I observed him, and after he released clear messages to our community, I had hope for the first time in my life that my sweetheart and I might be able to live together in the US after Barack is elected president. My beloved Dzmitry lives a harsh existence in a small homophobic European country called Belarus. Discriminatory US law doesn’t recognize my family relationship with him, because we’re of the same sex, so I cannot bring him here to live with me as I could easily do if I were heterosexual. I keep thinking about what President Lincoln did to end the disgraceful and embarrassing dehumanization of our black brothers and sisters. My discernment tells me that Barack Obama and Joe Biden have come at just the right time. They are the only two candidates who have specifically and clearly stated that they will use their influence to clear away the debris that is still denying us our rights - barred by hateful crowds of religious fanatics who have infiltrated and hijacked our federal and state governments and are trampling us like we’re filth! The GLBT community may be the key lever to alter America’s course so that our country doesn’t lapse into a modern Taliban-like theocracy that would be far worse for us. Have you listened to all of Barack’s talks and speeches, read his book, and read between the lines of what he and Joe have been saying to us? I’m filled with so much hope as I ponder the immensity of the opportunity that’s before us. But the sobering reality of another possible alternative future that could overtake our country instead of a future with Obama, causes me to get off my duff and do everything possible to get him and Joe elected. We have two choices - two very different futures for America and for the GLBT community. Obama is a modern compassionate leader who shares our vision and who wants America to be a beacon of hope for all humanity. Barack Obama and Joe Biden, with our support, will represent us, protect us, and reverse the damage that has been done to our community and country by both parties of the worn out old-world mentality. We can be certain of this, because we know who we are, and Barack and Joe have reached out to us, and we can get them elected. So we must work now, immediately to do everything to get them elected. We’re part of a new generation beginning a new millennium. We’re stepping out of the old and

embracing the new. We’ve left all the hate and division behind us. We know that we’re all ONE. Our time has come. It is here now. The dark clouds are rolling away and the warm, happy sunshine of liberty and justice will rise from a compassionate, wonderful man who represents the best of our African and European ancestors. We, the GLBT community, MUST ACT and bring on the change! Madison Reed Huntington, WV

The Reader Poll Last week we asked:

Reasons Obama’s GLBT Supporters Can’t Rest Easy

Do you feel safe in Columbus?

To the Editor: As gay and trans supporters of Barack Obama, we need to keep in mind a few things that could surprise us as we head toward November 4: 1. The polls may be wrong. This is an unprecedented election. No one knows how racism may affect what voters tell pollsters - or what they do in the voting booth. And the polls are narrowing anyway. In the last few days, John McCain has gained ground in most national polls, as his campaign has gone even more negative. 2. Dirty tricks. Republicans are already illegally purging voters from the rolls in some states. They’re whipping up hysteria over ACORN to justify more challenges to new voters. Misleading flyers about the voting process have started appearing in black neighborhoods. And of course, many counties still use unsecured voting machines. 3. October surprise. In politics, a week is a long time. The next McCain smear could dominate the news for a week. There could be a crisis with Iran, or bin Laden could release another tape, or worse. 4. History. In 2000, Al Gore won the popular vote after trailing by seven points in the final days of the race. In 1980, Reagan was eight points down in the polls in late October and came back to win. Races can shift - fast! Even with Barack Obama in the White House, passing universal health care and a new clean-energy policy is going to be hard. Insurance, drug and oil companies will fight us every step of the way. We need the kind of landslide that will give Barack a huge mandate.

Some of the time Yes, all the time No, not at all Other...

52% 41% 3% 3%

NEXT WEEK’S QUESTION:

Who did you vote for?

Rick Cummings Chicago, IL

Got something to say? We want to hear from you!

Log on to: www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.

Email us at editor@outlookmedia.com or logon to www.outlookweekly.net.

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10 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 11

OUT BUSINESS NEWS

SPOTLIGHT: COMMUNITY SHARES OF MID-OHIO COSMO SPREADS THE WEALTH by Adam Leddy Chances are that you have either made a gift to the charity of your choice through United Way or have been offered the opportunity to do so on numerous occasions. United Way giving is an inestimably powerful force for change in Central Ohio. While it supports a diverse constituency, United Way targets health and human services organizations in its campaigns. Many worthy causes fall outside this funding priority, including those espoused by local GLBT organizations, environmental groups, education funds, and human rights groups. And like UW agency organizations, these groups are also in need of an umbrella organization to help achieve their funding goals. Enter Community Shares. Like United Way, Community Shares raises revenue for its member organizations through participation in payroll-deduction, workplace-giving campaigns. Proponents of this model say that it holds many advantages over direct giving. Along with providing employees an automated and convenient means of giving, federations provide nonprofits with a steady and reliable source of

recurring income around which they can base their budgets and cash flow projections. Further, many of the nonprofits served by Community Shares are too small to hire development staff, limiting their ability to engage in the sort of direct donor solicitation and acquisition that sustain many larger organizations. Community Shares of Mid-Ohio (COSMO) retains membership fees of twenty-three percent to cover operating costs. Executive Director Melissa Magers notes that COSMO has been able to reduce administrative expenses every year for the past three years; the twenty-three percent will soon fall to twenty-two, and will likely fall further in the future. Expenses are comparable to those of the United Way of Central Ohio, which granted out about eighty-two percent of its 2007 revenue. COSMO offers a rich array of options to civicminded community members searching for just the right organization(s) to support. Donors can direct their giving to such diverse groups as Friends of the Scioto River, Mercy For Animals, Ohio League for the Mentally Retarded, Vietnam Veterans of Ohio, Appalachian Nutrition Network, or any of dozens of other recipients. Options are, to say the least, plentiful, and the divergence of their funding priorities

means that Community Shares and United Way are (emphatically) not competing for dollars or duplicating services. COSMO Community Relations Director Ryan Kovalaske notes that his Community Shares branch has welcomed GLBT organizations “for at least twelve years.” Current members include Stonewall Columbus, BRAVO, Camp Sunrise, Kaleidoscope Youth Center, and Pater Noster House. “Community Shares is the only charitable federation that includes our own GLBT organizations as member agencies,” says COSMO Board President Tom Tootle. “Over the past fourteen years, Community Shares has distributed hundreds of thousands of crucial dollars to these organizations in a manner consistent with the donor’s designation.” COSMO’s impact has been substantial since its founding in 1993. To date, member agencies have received over $2 million and have been given access to over 150,000 donors. GLBT member organizations did well by their association with COSMO in

Ryan Kovalaske & Tom Tootle 2007, with BRAVO receiving over $5,000 and Kaleidoscope and Stonewall each earning over $10,000. And all that money comes from your generous giving, especially during c workplace giving campaigns time. The annual campaign schedule is robust and going on now. Public sector campaigns include the Combined Federal Campaign and campaigns for the State of Ohio, The Ohio State University, Columbus State Community College, Franklin County, the City of Columbus, and several area school districts. Private business participation continues to increase as more employees bring Community Shares to the attention of their human resource departments. In fact, COSMO recommends that you do just that if your employer does not currently participate. For more information on Community Shares of Mid Ohio and how to offer the workplace campaign at your place of employment, please contact 614.262.1176, visit COSMO at CommunityShares.net, or email director@communityshares.net.

MANAGING YOUR 401K THROUGH THE FINANCIAL CRISIS by Susan Finerock, Money Concepts FPC Well, after weeks of watching the stock market sink, you finally got up the nerve to check your 401k balance online. Then you felt that uneasiness in the pit of your stomach when you saw the balance. You have been working hard and saving, making contributions to your 401k regularly, and your employer is matching those contributions. Your account balance was supposed be going up, right? If it is, congratulations! If not, welcome to the bear market/financial crisis of 2008. The last bear market was back in 2000 and 2001. We all remember it as the “Tech Bubble.” The market was down 20 to 30 percent for two years. It wasn’t uncommon to see portfolios drop 60 percent during that timeframe. It was a common belief that the emergence of the Internet as “the next big thing” had to propel profits. However, while some technology companies survived, many didn’t. The business model for those that failed was never sound and never sustainable. The investment losses hurt, but over the last few years your investments bounced back and you began to feel good about the market again. Then, another bump in the road, except this time it feels different. This one seems to worry you more and you’re losing sleep. But why? You have been through market downturns before. Most likely, it is because:

• You are older. • The amount of money in your 401k is larger. • Your company has eliminated or significantly altered your pension plan. • Other than the equity in your home, this is your second largest investment. • You need this money for retirement, and the time to reach retirement is much sooner than it was during the last downturn. • You don’t have the time to weather sustained losses or a steep downturn and bounce back before you plan to retire. All the planning you have done has factored in an annual growth rate, probably 8 percent, to get you to a comfortable retirement. So, a 15% or 20% year to date loss doesn’t figure into your retirement plan. What should you be doing? All of the “investment gurus” tell you conventional wisdom says to stay the course. Most people tend to bail out of the market as it is hitting bottom, then miss the rebound and never recover. Chances are you stayed the course last time and it took 6 years to recover. So, the real answer is “it depends.” It depends on you and your unique financial requirements. • Are you one, ten or twenty years from retirement? • Are you the type of person who believes the

market will rebound and are willing to take some losses knowing that it will be back? • Are you panicking over the losses and just wish you could find a safe place to park your money knowing you may miss part of the rebound? • Does your 401k make up your entire retirement savings or have you been saving outside your 401k as well? • Do you plan to work, even part time, in retirement, or are you planning to buy a sailboat and cruise into the sunset? • Do you have kids heading off to college, or will you be funding grad school? • Do you have aging parents who will need your help financially? So the statement “it depends” means you are unique. Each person has different answers to any combination of these questions. It is easy to take your 401k monies, spread them across a wide variety of investments and watch them grow in the good times. It isn’t easy to try and pick winners and watch them lose in the bad times. Because you are unique and your needs will vary over time, you should seek professional advice from a financial advisor. Will engaging a financial advisor keep you from losing money in your 401k? No. However, your goal in partnering with an advisor should be to position your investments based on your unique requirements. An advisor will position you to take full advan-

tage of growth cycles when the market turns up and cushion your losses in down markets. An advisor watches market changes daily and makes recommendations based on your risk tolerance and unique circumstances. You have a much greater chance of success with a professional looking over your shoulder than you do by managing this alone. Engage a professional to manage your retirement nest egg, and get some sleep.

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

12 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 13

POLI-SCI by J. Eric Peters

Equality Matters: Democrats, Republicans and a Traditional American Value Equality Advocates Pennsylvania, Indiana Equality, Michigan Equality and Equality Ohio all are members of the Equality Federation, a national cooperative network of state organizations working for equality for lesbian, gay, bi and transgender people. A yellow equals sign on a blue background appears on the Human Rights Campaign’s 2008 Congressional Scorecard, released last week, and other materials. Our communities’ advocacy organizations and their leaders have decided to base campaigns for LGBT rights on the principle of equality for good reason. Equality is a traditional American value and part of the foundation of our constitutional republic. However slow and protracted its actualization for African Americans, racial and religious minorities, women, and us, equality is discussed in the writing that laid the legal basis for all government and every law in the United States. That discussion often deals indirectly with equality, describing various rights as shared by all (equally) with none being excluded (or being any “less equal” than others) as illustrated by a widely honored American custom. “[L]iberty and justice for all. Play ball!” closes the Pledge of Allegiance, which promises commitment to freedom for all and, also for all, justice. “Equal Justice Under Law” appears on the façade of the United States Supreme Court building in our nation’s capitol. Equality is written into the US Constitution in two ways: first, by guaranteeing to each US citizen the civil rights and civil liberties specified (or enumerated) in the Bill of Rights, and second, by providing for each voter’s equal vote in electing both US representatives (Article I, Section 2) and, later, US senators (17th Amendment, 1913). Equality as a traditional American value goes back further. Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, both deists whom no Bible thumper can accurately label as Christians, wrote, along with others, equality into the Declaration of Independence. “We hold these truths to be self-evident,” they wrote, “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men.” (Sexism appears repeatedly in that era’s writing.) Thomas Paine, another founder, argued for equality in Common Sense, a famous pamphlet released in 1776, before the Declaration was written. In his booklet, eleven years before the founders wrote our Constitution, Paine made suggestions for the emerging nation’s charter. “Securing freedom and property to all men, and above all things, the free exercise of religion, according to the dictates of the conscience; with such other matter as is necessary for a charter to contain.” Paine advocated for equal security for all, for equal religious liberty for all, with each American freely exercising it (or not) according to his or her own beliefs or “conscience.” Paine also recommended “a large and equal representation,” emphasizing that “there is no political matter which more deserves our attention.” Why? “A small number of electors [voters], or a small number of representatives, are equally dangerous. But if the number of the representatives be not only small, but unequal, the danger is increased.” Equality as a political principle goes back even further. Great Britain, birthplace of Paine and the

parents of Franklin and Jefferson, professed it. The 1215 Magna Carta “granted to all the freeman of our kingdom, for us and for our heirs forever, all [specified] liberties,” provided that “no freeman” would be penalized criminally without proper procedure and promised neither to “sell” nor to “deny to any man, either justice or right.” It also freed the Anglican Church from state oversight, making church leaders more nearly equal to the nobility and royalty. That equality is so fundamental to our government and such a basic traditional American value should make it safe to assume all of our nation’s political institutions are working for equality, for equal justice for all. But are they? Equality is a fundamental principle for our country’s government and a foundation of our laws. Even a casual review of American history makes that obvious. But laws sometimes get broken. For example, with collusion from Republicans including Sen. John McSame, George W. Bush has stomped on the constitutional separation of powers and assaulted the civil liberties guaranteed us by the Bill of Rights. So it makes sense to ask how well our nation’s political institutions actually practice equality’s theory. At First Glance Congress is supposed to represent the American people in our government “of the people, by the people, and for the people.” But are all people really represented in Congress? Are women? Racial minorities? Lesbians and gay people? Are 10% (or, to be conservative, 4-5%) of the members of Congress gay or lesbian? No, Congress has 534 members (not counting the late Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones, a great friend to LGBT people), only two of whom are openly gay: Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) and Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA). There’s another way to slice this. The 1992 labor force included just over one-half million (511,039) elected officials. Between 1990 and 2005 public sector employment grew by just over one million (or 15.7%). So today the total number of elected officials in the US is probably at least one-half million. Only 100 openly LGBT candidates were endorsed by the Victory Fund this year, and the Gay and Lesbian Leadership Institute indicates there are 645 out officials in all of North America (including Canada, which has legalized marriage equality and probably boasts more out officials than can the US). That’s less than 800 out of 500,000. Only 80 openly GLBT government officials - elected and appointed - come up in a search at GLLI.org for out officials of any party affiliation in any office at any level in any US state. Ohio still has no openly LGBT state legislator. Women make up 50.9% of the US populace, but only 87 members of Congress (16.3%) are women. Neither the National Conference of State Legislatures nor the Ohio Democratic Women’s Caucus mentions online any women’s caucus consisting of Ohio state legislators. But the Ohio Legislative Service Commission’s Guidebook for Ohio Legislators reports that the Ohio legislature consists of 110 men and 22 women (16.7%). Hispanic and Latina/o Americans make up 12.5% of the general populace, but only 3.9% of members of Congress are also members of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus. Ohio’s population is 1.9% Hispanic or Latina/o, and the Ohio His-

panic/Latino/a affairs commission’s website makes no mention of any relevant caucus. But the place of two other groups in bodies with power to make laws does come somewhat closer to equality. Black and African Americans make up 12.3% of the US population. Members of the Congressional Black Caucus comprise only 7.5% of Congress. African Americans make up 11.5%; 12.9% of Ohio legislators are members of the Ohio Legislative Black Caucus. Asian and Pacific Islander Americans comprise 3.7% of the population and 3.6% of Congress (as members of the Congressional Asian and Pacific American Caucus). The Washington, DC-based Asian American Action Fund indicates that Asian Americans are 1.4% of Ohio’s total population, but only one Asian American holds a state or federal office in Ohio. Political Parties Matter Read the following facts - double check them if you want - and then you decide who deserves credit for promoting equality to the point it is now, and who deserves blame and opposition for opposing equality. Searching the Gay & Lesbian Leadership Institute’s website once for each party found the number of out Republicans serving in public office was 11 while 54 Democrats held office. Both searches looked for GLBT-identified officials in either appointed or elected offices at the federal, state or local level ranging from mayor to US senator. Women in Congress are far more likely to have reached office with Democratic support. Of 248 Republicans in Congress, 10.1% are women; 21.8% of congressional Democrats are women. Among women in the Ohio legislature Democrats outnumber Republicans 17-6. Every single member of the Congressional Hispanic and the Congressional Asian and Pacific American Caucuses are Democrats. The only Asian American in the Ohio legislature is Rep. Jay Goyal, the 2007 Ohio Young Democrat of the Year who represents Mansfield and Richland County. All 40 members of the Congressional Black Caucus and all 17 members of the Ohio Legislative Black Caucus are Democrats. In fact, the Republican Party hasn’t supported an African American or black candidate enough to elect her/him to Congress since JC Watts (R-OK) retired in 2002. The Republican Party might as well hang out a “whites only” sign. If that isn’t what a racist organization looks like, then what is? HRC’S Congressional Scorecard The Human Rights Campaign released their

2008 Congressional Scorecard last week. In it they evaluate the members of the US Senate and the US House of Representative in terms of their support for LGBT equality. Senators and representatives were evaluated on a wide range of LGBT-relevant issues including hate crime protection, options for HIV-positive immigrants and persons with low incomes, immigration rights of persons in same-sex relationships with US citizens, tax treatment of domestic partnership benefits, anti-discrimination protection, HIV/AIDS prevention and repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Democrats and Republicans differ markedly on these issues. Senator Barack Obama earned a score of 94 by voting for the hate crime preventions in the Kennedy amendment to the Department of Defense Authorization Act; against the confirmation of Judge Leslie Southwick; not voting on the Tom Lantos and Henry J. Hyde United States Global Leadership Against HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria Reauthorization Act; and cosponsoring four pieces of legislation: the Early Treatment for HIV Act, the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement and Hate Crimes Prevention Act, Uniting American Families Act and Tax Equity for Domestic Partner and Health Plan Beneficiaries Act. Showing us that he would deliver nothing for LGBT people but continuance of the failed legacy of George W. Bush, Senator John McSame scored a big fat zero. Every single time he had an opportunity to vote for equality for us, McBush voted against us, winning him the endorsement of the Log Cabin Republicans. Here are the scores for the Ohio congressional delegation, ranked here from most supportive of LGBT equality to least supportive. 100 Sen. Sherrod Brown (D) 100 Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-10) 95 Rep. Betty Sutton (D-13) 85 Rep. Tim Ryan (D-17) 70 Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D-9) 70 Rep. Deborah Pryce (R-15) 60 Sen. George Voinovich (R) 60 Rep. Zachary Space (D-18) 55 Rep. Charles Wilson (R-6) 25 Rep. David Hobson (R-7) 15 Rep. Steven LaTourette (R-14) 15 Rep. Ralph Regula (R-16) 10 Rep. Pat Tiberi (R-12) 0 Rep. Steve Chabot (R-1) 0 Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-2) 0 Rep. Michael Turner (R-3) 0 Rep. Jim Jordan (R-4) 0 Rep. John Boehner (R-8) OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

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TRANSNATION by Jacob Anderson-Minshall

Playwright’s Trans Activism Sparked by Jewish Heritage As a kid, Butch Is a Noun author and performer S. Bear Bergman recalls being a little Jewish ambassador. Self-identifying as queer, trans, and a butch, Bergman uses the genderneutral pronouns “ze” and “hir” and says that youthful experience led to hir trans activism. “Basically, I ended up doing the exact same thing in terms of queer and trans issues. [My parents] groomed me for that exact job and gave me all the skills and tools that I needed to do it well. I’ve continued to do exactly what I’ve been raised to do.” The critically acclaimed playwright, who now lives in Toronto, Ontario, has won numerous awards for hir solo performance pieces and was recently named Poretsky Artist in Residence at the National Havurah Committee Summer Institute. Bergman says hir first solo performance, Ex Post Papa, is about “stop-gap, after market families,” that LGBT folks form, while 2004’s Clearly Marked is “largely about the labels we put on ourselves,” and Monday Night in Westerbork is “just your average singing, dancing, stand-up comedy cross-dressing holocaust show [which] explores what it means to live in a place of difference [and] how we make art as a form of resistance.” Crediting hir success to the help of mentors like Kate Bornstein, Bergman says ze “was

doubly lucky, by virtue of being relatively healthy and able bodied, and because of my parents’ generosity footing most of the bill for my upsettingly expensive education.” When not performing or writing Bergman spends much of hir time working with queer youth. The former teen activist founded one of the nation’s first gay-straight alliances and was a member of the governor of Massachusetts’s commission on LGBT youth. “I was very tenderly raised up by quantum femmes and faggot leathermen,” ze recalls. “I’ve been out as a queer activist since I was sixteen years old and I’m now thirty-four. That’s now more than half my life. As a former youth activist who’s now an advocate and ally with and for youth, it just seems the right thing to do and the really natural progression of my work.” Furthermore, Bergman maintains, queer youth are the future of the movement. “If we don’t care for and work with youth, then as a movement, we’re screwed. Youth need to be paid particular attention to because they need more, but they [also] have an enormous amount of energy and an incredible number of creative ideas.” Ze contends that, despite many changes, there’s still “an enormous number” of queer youth and trans youth convinced their lives

won’t amount to anything because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. “If you don’t have any people in your community who’re out and queer or out and trans and living perfectly nice lives, then that’s a conclusion that you could get.” To combat that conclusion, Bergman says, “I’m a huge, huge proponent of people coming out. If you can just come out and be who you are, where you live…just making it possible on the landscape for someone to be a grownup who is well and happy and employed and who’s also a queer or trans person, makes more difference than a lot of us remember.” Bergman sees the influence of hir Jewish heritage at work in hir trans and queer activism. “I learned very young, in my family and in my community, that there was really no room for idle complaining. Tikkun olam is a Hebrew phrase that means “to mend the world, to repair the world.” And it’s incumbent on every Jew to participate in the process. As an educator, and an artist and an activist, a lot of my work is about participating, in my way, in the process of mending the world.” Trans writer Jacob Anderson-Minshall (jake@transnation.org) co-hosts Gender Blender, a new show on Portland, Oregon’s 90.7 fm KBOO radio and streaming live at KBOO fm.

THE EXAMINED LIFE by Tom Moon, MFT

Surviving Unrequited Love

Q: I frequently meet a man in a gay social organization to which we both belong, and this man, as they say, pushes all my buttons. He is friendly to me, which makes him all the more alluring, but it is clear that he has an active social world in which there is no place for me, apart from our common organization. Obviously, I am not the only person who sees how remarkable he is. Neither of us is likely to leave the organization any time soon, so I’m obliged to deal with my predicament for the foreseeable future. Is there anything more serious here than frustration at not having the relationship with him that I want? I’m sure I will get over this painful situation eventually but would definitely appreciate your insight on the subject to hasten my recovery.

A: I wonder if there is anyone reading this who hasn’t experienced what you’re going through. It’s always painful to long for what we can’t have, but unrequited romantic love is especially painful. And to have regular contact with the man you love and see that he doesn’t lust for you the way that you lust for him, and that his eyes don’t light up for you the way yours do for him, is a form of acute suffering. But the fact that it’s painful doesn’t in and of itself make it a “problem.” It may just be one of those situations in life which must be endured, and for which there is no “cure” except time. One practice that can mitigate the suffering in the meantime is something I learned from studying Tibetan Buddhism. In this practice, you reflect on all the people in the world who are currently experiencing the same kind of difficulty you’re living with, whether it’s an illness, a loss, or a disappointment such as unrequited love. Then form the resolution to use your own pain as a springboard to become more compassionate toward all those who are in situations similar to yours. After you’ve done that, imagine yourself sending waves of compassion and loving kindness to every one of them. This exercise may sound hokey, but it is surprisingly powerful. I’ve used it myself on a number of occasions, and I find it a great antidote to self-pity. I also find it a useful way of

using my suffering to connect me with others rather than to feel separated from them. But your question “Is there anything more serious here than frustration at not having the relationship with him that I want?” is a good one, because unrequited love is one of those situations that is full of emotional pitfalls for many people. Here, too, I find Buddhist psychology helpful. The Buddhists have a word, papanca, which means “mental proliferation,” (although “mind fucking” also captures the meaning). It refers to the stories we tell ourselves about what we’re experiencing, which add additional, and unnecessary, layers of suffering to the unavoidable pain that we all experience. When it comes to unrequited love, it’s very common for the mind to work overtime in generating papanca. If the object of our affection doesn’t return the interest, for instance, many people go immediately into self-denigration. Why doesn’t he love me? There must be something wrong with me. Maybe it’s that I’m not good looking enough, or interesting enough. Maybe it’s just that I’m not a lovable person. Maybe I’m just not the sort of person who ever gets what he wants. Maybe I’m just a loser. Any kind of suffering can trigger a cascade of thoughts about why my suffering shows that I’m defective. I shouldn’t be hurting so much about this. If I were a stronger, healthier, more

secure human being, I wouldn’t let things like this get to me. The fact that I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me shows that I’m self-destructive, self-defeating, masochistic or neurotic - otherwise I’d pick someone who returned my feelings. And so on. I know a man who fell deeply in love with a dorm mate in his freshman year of college. The other guy was mildly friendly, but not otherwise interested. Now - twenty years later - this man continues on an almost daily basis to pine away for the love that never was. Why did he do this to himself? Because, having been abandoned in early childhood by his drug addicted father, he had come to suspect that he was not the sort of person who could be loved by any man, and he took his first adult disappointment in love as confirmation of that grim belief. His problem wasn’t unrequited love, but what his mind did with it. So examine what your mind is telling you about this situation and don’t believe everything it may be saying. Your recovery from this disappointment will be a lot faster if you can be alert and skeptical about any pessimistic or self-denigrating interpretations you may be assigning to your situation. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is tommoon.net.

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FEATURE STORY by Michael Daniels

Mention the Columbus Police Department and you’re sure to get a variety of reactions, positive and negative, from the local GLBT community. It seems everyone has a story and an opinion on our city’s men and women in blue. But just how queer friendly is CPD, really?

Diversity on the Force A progressive, successful city ensures that the police force looks like, understands, and relates to the community it serves. A quick Google search for “gay police recruiting” unearths cities that one would expect to actively reach out to their GLBT communities: New York, Fort Lauderdale, San Francisco, Key West, Los Angeles. Columbus does not appear prominently in such search results. Could this mean that CPD isn’t interested in recruiting GLBT officers? Not if you listen to Sergeant Anthony Wilson of CPD’s Minority Recruiting Unit. In testimony to the Columbus City Council on May 5, Wilson reported on the department’s efforts, mentioning the recently formed Diversity Recruiting Council, which draws its membership from a host of communities within Columbus. The council’s roster is impressive, and includes Mike Forrest, Affirmative Action and Veterans Affairs coordinator for the City; Bill Adams, East Columbus Area Council; James Johnson, Driving Park Area Council; Robbie Banks, Chamber of Commerce young professionals manager; Philip Shotwell, acting director of the Ohio Department of Development Division of Minority Affairs; Granville Waiters, Governor’s Office for Closing the Achievement Gap; Dr JS Jindal, Asian Indian Community in OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

Central Ohio; Malson Kim, Korean Association in Central Ohio; Tiong-sin So, Philippine Association of Central Ohio; Bertha Duran, Columbus Bar Association; Mufa Farah, Somali Area Council; Tiffany White, North Central Area Council; Richard Lopez, Governor’s Office for Closing the Achievement Gap; Gloria McCauley, BRAVO; Sgt Wilson; CPD officers Quoc Nguyen, Ken Ramos, Lamar Booker, Tiffany Summers, Dana Schell, Jackie Cote, Irene Cameron, Demetris Ortega, and Stephanie Gibson; and Columbus City Council aides James Ragland and Carl Williams. With that diverse cast, citizens might assume that all aspects of diversity recruiting would be addressed, including the GLBT community with the inclusion of McCauley’s representation.

Confusing Comfest with Pride Why, then, was the CPD recruiting bus present at the Jazz and Rib Festival, the Asian Festival, and Festival Latino, but absent from the Pride celebration? The answer lies in budget constraints and a lack of education. “In 1998, we had a budget of $40,000,” Sgt Wilson told me. “In 2008, we had $35,000. And we’re not sure what our budget will be for 2009.” Wilson, an approachable, dedicated officer who takes all forms of diversity recruiting very seriously, also admitted to a bit of institutional ignorance. “We tried to set up at Goodale Park,” he told me, “but we had little success.” When I pointed out to him that the festival in Goodale Park is Comfest, not Pride, he was genuinely confused and embarrassed. “I thought they were the same thing,” he said.

I had to chuckle, and he joined in, imagining how Comfest celebrants would react to a police recruiting vehicle. “That kind of misunderstanding points out the need for the Diversity Recruiting Council,” Wilson said, “so that we’re going where we need to go and talking to the people we need to be talking to. “It is critical that CPD reflects the communities that we serve,” Wilson said. “If we are not successful, it will be very difficult for us to build up trust in the communities. And having officers from within the diverse communities of the city is the best way to learn about those communities.” McCauley is convinced that the DRC is working. “I enjoy sitting on the DRC,” she said, “and I normally hate sitting on committees. I really believe that the people on the council are committed, and the ideas that we’ve brainstormed are being used by the department. They actually listen to us.”

Budget Cuts and Columbus City Council Commitment Budget cuts have forced the Minority Recruiting Unit to make deep cuts in marketing and staff. “The overall budget situation is severe,” McCauley said. “Diversity recruiting is not being singled out.” But Wilson cautions, “Either we want to do this and be serious about it or we don’t,” he said. “But I believe in this unit, and I want to leave the force better and more representative than I found it, and I’ll leave with my head held high.” “As long as I’m the chairman of the safety committee, diversity recruiting will be a top priority,” said Columbus City Councilmember Andy Ginther. “And GLBT recruiting will be part

of that effort. Right now, we’re facing a severe deficit, and we’ve had to cancel the [CPD] recruit class for this year. As soon as we get the revenue situation addressed, we’ll resume classes, and we’ll ensure that those recruits represent and reflect the community - the entire community.” It is worthy of note that it was at the City Council’s request, and Ginther’s instigation, that McCauley was appointed to the DRC to represent the GLBT community.

Learning from the Best…in Utah of all Places Columbus could learn from the many successful diversity initiatives of other police departments nationwide. One of the most surprising success stories is that of the Salt Lake City police department, in the heart of what is arguably America’s most conservative state. “We first began recruiting from the GLBT community at the Pride celebration in 2000,” said Captain Kyle Jones of the Salt Lake City Police Department, “and have done so at every Pride since then. The impetus for this project was a recognition that we needed more members of the GLBT community working on police and fire departments across the valley.” The department doesn’t keep direct statistics on how many GLBT individuals became public safety employees as a result of this effort, but “we will continue this effort indefinitely,” Jones said. SLCPD also has something that many departments have but that CPD lacks: a gay officers’ league. “Our booth at Pride is staffed by members of the GLBT Public Safety Liaison Committee,” Jones said, “which is a group of

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18 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY gay and heterosexual police and fire employees from several agencies. The committee also meets every month to address public safety issues that are specific to the GLBT community,” and as recently as this August participated in a panel discussion about being a gay police officer as part of the Utah AIDS Foundation’s annual men’s health summit. To his credit, Sgt Wilson was quick to engage in a partnership with Outlook and began directing GLBT recruiting efforts in the community, including print advertising for upcoming recruit testing dates. Wilson and Officer Cote, who is now assigned to the Minority Recruiting Unit, will be featured speakers at the Nov 12 Network Columbus meeting, and Cote is working with Outlook on planning a targeted testing and application event in the GLBT community, to be held in 2009. It is also possible that the lack of a gay officers’ organization within CPD may be addressed by whoever is named the new chief of police, now that Chief James Jackson has announced his retirement. Under Jackson, no minority officers’ groups exist within the department - not for African Americans, Latinos, Asians, women, or GLBT officers. The new chief may be more amenable to the creation and recognition of such groups, and to offering minority officers critical internal support.

Community Policing And Community Outreach

Can You Be Tricked by a Police Officer? by Terry Wheeler Public indecency charges can have a profound impact on an individual’s job and family. When charged with public indecency in the parks, many defendants want to claim entrapment as a defense for their actions. In order for entrapment to be a defense, the defendant must admit the crime was committed, but argue the behavior should be excused because he was “tricked” by an uncover officer. As defined by Ohio jury instructions, “Entrapment occurs when a police officer plants in the mind of the defendant the original idea or purpose, thus furnishing from the start the incentive (moving force) to commit an offense that the defendant had not considered and which he would not have carried out except for that incentive (moving force). If the defendant did not himself conceive of committing the offense, and if it was suggested to him by the officer for the purpose of causing his arrest and prosecution, the defendant must be found not guilty. Briefly, the whole criminal idea and purpose originates with the police, not with the defendant.” Entrapment is not a defense when an individual enters a park with the hope of having sex with someone in the park because in such a situation the criminal intent originated in the mind of the defendant and the police officer merely provided the opportunity for the commission of the offense. While providing “the opportunity,” defendants are surprised to learn undercover officer are legally permitted to make statements such as: “I’m not a cop. Are You?” “Come on. Why are you nervous? No one can see us.” Further, defendants are surprised that undercover officers can engage in actions that would likely be criminal if performed by other persons. Such actions include any conduct that to an ordinary observer would appear to be sexual conduct or masturbation when it is likely to be viewed by and affront others who are in the person’s physical proximity and who are not members of the person’s household. Terry Wheeler is an attorney with the Columbus law firm of Artz & Dewhirst, LLP. OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

As far back as 2004, the US Department of Justice recognized the need for recruiting and retaining officers who can more effectively reach out to the citizenry they serve. In its publication “Hiring and Keeping Police Officers,” US DOJ author Christopher Koper wrote, “…Research in preventing crime suggests that how officers are used is more important than how many officers are used.” This concept has come to be known as “community policing,” and CPD has often been applauded for its use. In August 2008, CPD received its fourth accreditation from the Commission on Accreditation for Law Enforcement Agencies (CALEA), and was specifically cited by the commission: “The Division is challenged by limited personnel, resources, and a growing community, but the agency’s employees are clearly dedicated to providing excellent service to their community,” and, “Officers are aware of community concerns and actively engaged in community policing activities.” Ray Brown, a 17-year veteran of the Gahanna and Worthington police departments, and now a partner in the Roy G Biv and Arms Properties enterprise, weighed in: “I think in Columbus, it comes from the top down. The mayor, city council, and other political figures understand that, in an era of changing police policies across the country and an increase in community-oriented policing, outreach to the [GLBT] community is important, and I think that the chief gets that the department must be in touch with the people it serves.”

Grading CPD on its GLBT IQ Perhaps the local GLBT organization that most often encounters and interacts with CPD is BRAVO, the Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization. In executing BRAVO’s mission “to eliminate violence perpetrated on the basis of sexual orientation and/or gender identification, domestic violence, and sexual assault,” Executive Director McCauley and Domestic Violence Program Coordinator Gary Heath come in contact with CPD officers on an almost daily basis, and give the department generally high marks. “Overall, I’d say it’s good,” Heath said when asked about the interaction and understanding between CPD and the GLBT community. “There are sometimes misperceptions on both sides. People in general don’t always know or appreciate their roles, rights, and responsibilities when interacting with the po-

lice.” “Then you add in the minority community element,” McCauley added, “and the historic distrust the queer community has toward the police.” McCauley teaches an outreach course to every CPD cadet class, and has done so since even before BRAVO’s formation in 1996, wherein she gives a brief but critical queer history lesson to the recruits. “Historically, police have seen queer people as belonging to an ‘outlaw culture,’” she said. “Community memories and myths are passed down.” It is part of queer culture to be wary of the police; after all, the conflict between gays and police at the Stonewall Inn is the defining moment of the gay rights movement. Police, as Heath points out, have a tough job that requires them to treat everyone with a certain amount of distrust and wariness. Officers are trained, in fact, to be wary of citizens in all encounters. “Having openly queer cops,” Heath said, “would help to alleviate a lot of these misunderstandings.” McCauley’s training sessions at the CPD academy are also helping to bridge the gap. “Before we began our diversity training, reporting of crimes by the GLBT community was below 7%, and most people said that the police were either neutral or verbally abusive. Now, our reporting rate is around 30%, and the majority of comments are neutral-to-positive.” McCauley said that the feedback she gets from the training staff and academy recruits is overwhelmingly positive. “It used to be that someone would thank me quietly or whisper that they knew someone who was gay. Now they’re up front about it, and some cadets have even come out to me after my training classes.” I asked McCauley and Heath to give a report card grade to various CPD departments and supervisors. “There’s a lot of support on the street and in the academy,” Heath said. “As you go further up the brass, they’re less likely to be supportive.” McCauley and Heath give high marks to Mayor Michael Coleman and Public Safety Director Mitch Brown, but a failing grade to Jackson. “I don’t think the chief is homophobic,” Heath said. “I think he just doesn’t get it.” (Incoming chief, please take note.) Officers and supervisors at the academy get top marks, as do beat and patrol officers, and the homicide unit. Recent high-profile cases such as the murder of Brazon are often cited as examples of how well homicide and violent crime detectives work with the community. The sexual assault unit gets a neutral rating. “I think there’s more work to do there,” Heath said. In general, sexual assault of male victims nationwide is something that police departments and social service organizations are often ill equipped and inexperienced in handling. Men can be, and are, the victims of sexual assault, and more outreach and education of victims, victims’ services providers, and police departments is crucial.

And Then There’s Vice The only unit within CPD to receive a failing grade from McCauley and Heath is the vice squad. From this point forward, is the editorial portion of this piece, and is my take, based on research and interviews, on the bastard stepchild of CPD. Vice units across the US are under fire for their tactics. Entities within entities, these units often have little or no interaction with other units or divisions, communicate poorly if at all with patrol officers, and tend toward structures and reporting hierarchies that are poorly understood and somewhat clandestine. To a vice cop, everyone is a “perp,” a “scumbag,” or a “maggot.” Vice officers have been quoted using phraseology such as “drug users, dealers, prostitutes, and homosexuals,” pointing to the unit’s inherent homophobia. The danger is that vice officers

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THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK from Lambda Legal If you cruise in parks, bathrooms, or other spaces open to public view, trust your instincts, be aware of your surroundings -and know your rights. While Lambda Legal and other groups are fighting against the ways police target men who have sex with men, having sex where others might see you and take offense can subject you to arrest, publicity, and other serious consequences. If you feel unsafe, you should leave. Cruising Safely Always carry identification in case you get hurt or arrested. Providing your ID may decrease your chances of spending time in jail, especially if you don’t have a criminal record. If the police stop you, they may instead give you a summons and let you go. Remember cops may be cruising, too. Be aware that undercover cops may be cruising to arrest you. A cop doesn’t have to tell you he’s a cop, even if you ask. If you’re cruising for sex and an undercover cop hits on you, what you do can still be a crime. Don’t count on proving the cop entrapped you (which is difficult). Talk to your lawyer if you think you were set up. Make sure that anyone you have sex with is over the age of consent. Having sex with a minor is a serious crime with heavy punishment. Understand that many laws could be used against you. Thanks to a Lambda Legal US Supreme Court win, all laws that banned consensual sex by adults in private, including oral and anal sex, have been struck down. But other laws, like those against sex where you might be seen by others, adultery and prostitution laws, or laws against criminal transmission of HIV might still be used against you. Be careful. Protect yourself and others against the risk of HIV and other diseases. Be aware of your surroundings and the possibility of being beaten or robbed. If you cruise online, let someone know your plans. Tell them where you’re going, the person you are meeting, and when you expect to be back, or write a note on your computer with this information. If You Are Arrested • Stay calm • Provide identification, but don’t answer any questions without a lawyer. Anything you say can be used against you. • Try to remember the details surrounding the arrest, including everything you or the officers said or did before, during and after the arrest; the names, badge numbers and descriptions of any officers who were present; the details of the physical space, including where you and the officers were; the names and descriptions of anyone else who was present • Ask to talk to a lawyer. Don’t make any decisions without talking to a lawyer first. The biggest mistakes you can make are panicking, trying to get it over with by quickly confessing, trying to talk your way out of the problem, or trying to deal with the police on your own. If you are not a US citizen, you should talk to a lawyer as soon as possible. A conviction of plea agreement may affect your chances of later becoming a citizen or put you at risk for deportation. If you can’t afford a lawyer, you may be entitled to a public defender free of charge. Ask to have one appointed before you make any statements to the police or in court. • Find a good lawyer if you don’t already have one. Your lawyer should be a criminal defense attorney who understands the law and the courts where the arrest occurred. • Write everything down. Write down all the details as soon as possible, and share them only with your attorney. Ask your attorney who else it is safe to talk to in confidence. • Know your legal options. Make sure you understand the charges and discuss all the possible outcomes with your lawyer, including the consequences of any plea or conviction. • Tell your lawyer about any confidential circumstances. Be sure to tell your lawyer whether you have a relationship with anyone who you don’t want to find out about your arrest. • Ask your lawyer questions, including: Is it possible to get the charges dismissed because of conduct by the police? Will I have a criminal record? Are there programs to avoid one? Could I get my record cleared at some point? Will the record be sealed? Do I need to take time off work to go to court? Lambda Legal is a national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, the transgendered, and people with HIV or AIDS through impact litigation, education, and public policy work. For more information, visit www.lambdalegal.org.

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may treat anyone suspected of being a drug user, prostitute, or homosexual as a criminal rather than a human being or a potential victim of crime. And then there’s the sex in the parks issue. To CPD Vice, it’s simple. If you’re having sex in the park, you’re a queer, and if you’re a queer in the park, you’re there to have sex. It’s an ingrained and inherent prejudice of the unit, and one that the Parks Coalition Task Force has been trying to deal with for years. Let me be clear. I do not advocate or defend having sex in public parks or bathrooms. It is a crime. What is not a crime is cruising for potential sex partners in these public places and taking them somewhere else in the hope of having sex. To Vice, there is no such distinction. What is most disturbing is the way in which Vice goes unchecked, and continues to utilize male undercover officers to cruise parks and public locations to entrap men who have sex with men. Why do they not use undercover female officers in the same way to catch horny straight men? Why do they make these arrests quietly, rather than going in with lights and sirens blazing? Why are they more interested in maximizing the number of arrests than in eliminating the undesired activity?

Very, very few arrests are made of two civilians engaging in sexual activity in the parks. The vast majority - by some estimates over 90% - of these arrests involve undercover officers in a sting operation. It begs the question, if not for these officers cruising and trolling, would this even be a problem? In 2008, when the rest of CPD is concentrating on recruiting from within and reaching out to the GLBT community, when the city’s budget is $80 million short and police recruit classes are being cancelled, and when economic conditions overall are leading to an increase in theft and other crime, why is CPD still spending the time and money of the department and the courts cruising at Berliner Park? The city as a whole should expect the next police chief to address this issue, as well as those of fairness, priorities, and increased diversity in the force. The GLBT community in particular will be well-served by a chief who reaches out to them and to the GLBT officers who so proudly wear the uniform of Columbus’s Finest. Michael Daniels is Co-Publisher of Outlook Weekly, BRAVO Board Member, and Co-Host of Radio Outlook.

REPORT VIOLENCE TO BRAVO HelpLine: 614.294.STOP or 1.866.86.BRAVO BRAVO’s HelpLine is staffed weekdays 10a-4p with 6p-10p hours Sun-Thurs. EMAIL: report@bravo-ohio.org When you call BRAVO to make a report, you will be guided through a simple process of information gathering about the incident and yourself. There are NO requirements - you can share the level of information that is comfortable for you. You may choose to report anonymously. All reports are kept strictly confidential. BRAVO can help you identify your options and potential courses of action. If you choose to make a police report (you are not required to do so), we can explain the procedure, go with you to police headquarters, or arrange to have the report taken at BRAVO or some other site. After the report is taken, we will still be there for you. We can assist and accompany you through all steps in the process. For some, our support groups and self-defense classes are an important part of the process. We will add your report to our compilation of local and national statistics, which are released each year.

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22 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD by Romeo San Vicente

SEAN HAYES HAS A STROKE OF LUCK From Queer as Folk and The Office to Life on Mars and Little Britain USA, TV networks are always willing to gamble that any program that worked in the UK will translate stateside. Sean Hayes, who hasn’t been particularly visible on the tube since his Emmy-winning run as the flamboyant Jack on Will & Grace, has signed on as an executive producer and co-star of the US version of the English sketch comedy show Man Stroke Woman. (“Stroke” is what Brits call the punctuation that Americans refer to as a “slash,” but Man Slash Woman would sound like a horror movie, apparently. As it stands it simply sounds somewhat heterosexually naughty.) Hayes’s company, Hazy Mills Productions, has shot a pilot for the FX network; no word yet on if or when it will air.

JESSE L. MARTIN CASHES IN WITH THE PHILANTHROPIST

TODD HAYNES JOAN-SING TO REMAKE MILDRED PIERCE

ROSIE O’DONNELL BRINGS VARIETY BACK TO TV

Here’s the gajillionth example of how playing a gay role can boost your Hollywood credibility Jesse L. Martin, who played Tom Collins in the stage and screen incarnations of Rent, has been working steadily ever since. (And gayness was hardly secondary to the role - Tom sings a sweeping love duet with a drag queen, after all.) After a long-term residency on Law & Order, Martin is headed for The Philanthropist, a new series about a billionaire (played by Rome’s James Purefoy) who uses his riches to help people in need around the globe. Martin will play Purefoy’s business partner in this NBC series - which reminds Romeo of the old show The Millionaire - that will shoot in South Africa and the Czech Republic. Look for The Philanthropist to share the wealth as a midseason replacement.

Gay director Todd Haynes proved himself to be fluent in the language of old-school “women’s pictures” with his stunning Far From Heaven, a movie that perfectly channeled and peeled back the layers of the classic 1950s melodramas of Douglas Sirk. Now he’s casting his eye to even older Hollywood movies with his plans to remake Mildred Pierce, the 1945 noir that won Joan Crawford her only Oscar. Based on the novel by James M. Cain (The Postman Always Rings Twice), Mildred Pierce tells the story of an entrepreneur who will do anything for her spoiled, ungrateful daughter - possibly even murder. Haynes says that, given today’s economic conditions, his version will be truer to the 1930s Depression setting of the book. No word yet about casting, but watch this space for more details as they unfold.

Word was already out that Rosie O’Donnell might return to network television as the host of an unspecified variety show, an entertainment format long dormant but much missed by family audiences looking for something to watch together. Now the plans are concrete: NBC’s Rosie’s Variety Show promises to feature a grab-bag of celebrities, musical performances, sketch comedy, and even prize giveaways to the home audience. O’Donnell knows this terrain - her hit daytime talk show always featured numbers from current Broadway shows, and she was a key player behind Logo’s Big Gay Sketch Show. Rosie’s Variety Show will premiere as a standalone special on November 26, the night before Thanksgiving, with an eye to becoming a regular series. Romeo thinks any opportunity to see the rule-breaking O’Donnell back on TV is reason to give thanks.

Romeo San Vicente has several special talents that entertain lots of people, but none of them can be shown on TV. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

ARTS

SMALL-TOWN VALUES STILL RELEVANT ROCKWELL’S AMERICA COMING TO THE OHIO HISTORICAL CENTER NOV 1 “Maybe as I grew up and found the world wasn’t the perfectly pleasant place I had thought it to be, I unconsciously decided that, even if it wasn’t an ideal world, it should be and painted only the ideal aspects of it.” - Norman Rockwell Norman Rockwell’s art imitated life, and in Rockwell’s America you’ll step into some of his most famous drawings. The life-sized, 3-D scenes from Summertime, Doctor’s Office, Barber Shop, Gordy’s Soda Shop and 11 other favorites will capture your imagination as you explore bygone days. Throughout the gallery, you’ll encounter characters like a telephone operator and World War II soldier and they all have a story to tell. Upon entering Rockwell’s America, children of all ages will be off and running. It won’t take them long to figure out that they can explore yesterday without hearing “stop, you can’t touch that.” Not only can children touch what they see, they’ll be captivated by sounds of music or a speech by President Franklin D. Roosevelt coming from a 1940s radio and the scent of summer flowers and grass. Everyone will encounter interesting American history intertwined in the imagery and seniors might spend OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

some time walking down memory lane. “Rockwell lived in an era of great innovation - the automobile, the radio and the telephone - and his illustrations capture their impact on everyday life,” says Roger Norfleet, project manager for Rockwell’s America. “When you see all 322 of his Saturday Evening Post covers in order, it’s easy to see how technology changed from 1916 to 1963.” Connecting People with History For more than a year, OHS staff have been interacting with patrons to learn more about their personal experiences during their visits. The results of this research are now being used to design exhibits and create programs with greater public appeal like Rockwell’s America. “What we’ve been trying to do is create really engaging exhibits and programs because people connect to history when it’s relevant to their own lives,” says Connie Bodner, director of education and interpretation services. “Rockwell’s America is so incredibly relevant because it’s helping people step into the past. While visitors to our historic sites and Ohio Village expect to go back in time, you don’t expect to do so in a gallery setting but Rockwell accomplishes that.” What’s the Exhibit’s Connection to Ohio? Norman Rockwell was a native New Yorker; however, his illustrations, which portrayed life in 20thcentury America, could have reflected life in Ayersville, Barton, Clyde or any other rural Ohio

town. “Norman Rockwell was a national celebrity,” says Bodner. “His illustrations told heartland stories and I think that’s the connection to Ohio. There’s so much about Rockwell’s work that is related to life in Ohio’s cities and towns both then and now.” Currier & Ives Exhibition Showing concurrently with Rockwell’s America will be an exhibition of 19th-century Currier & Ives lithographs from the Christopher Collection, which is under the care of the Ohio Historical Society. As printmakers, Currier & Ives are credited with launching mass media in America and for putting art in the hands of ordinary people, thus setting the stage for illustrators like Norman Rockwell. The specific prints on exhibit will change throughout the four-month run, but included among them will be several by Fannie Palmer. The English-born Mrs. Palmer is often referenced as the “Norman Rockwell of the 19th century,” based on her prodigious output of more than 200 works and their reproduction on millions of calendars and greeting cards. Rockwell’s America opens Nov 1 and is on exhibition through March 1, 2009. Admission: $11 for adults, $10 for seniors (60+), $7 for youth (6-12), $3 for Ohio Historical Society members and free for children 5 and under. Price includes standard museum admission plus Rockwell’s America. Parking is $4 and free for OHS members. For more information, call 800.686.6124 or visit www.ohiohistory.org/rockwell. Rockwell’s America is produced by the Becker Group under license by Curtis Publishing. Local sponsors include AEP as Presenting Sponsor, AAA Ohio as Exhibit Sponsor and The Columbus Dispatch as Media Sponsor.

The Ohio Historical Center is one of 58 sites administered by The Ohio Historical Society, a nonprofit organization that serves as the state’s partner in preserving and interpreting Ohio’s history, natural history and archaeology. For more information about programs and events, visit www.ohiohistory.org or call 800.686.6124. PERSONX is TITLE for GROUP, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. For more information, visit www.camaonline.org.

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24 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

ARTS

Gallery Hop: Saturday, Nov 1st

With over 20 years of tradition, the Short North is renowned for the buzz of “Gallery Hop.” The first Saturday of every month, thousands of visitors converge on the strip, the epicenter of the High Street Experience. They come to celebrate art and partake in an evening of sights, sounds, food, shopping, and cosmopolitan fun. Though many shops are open earlier, the Gallery Hop officially starts at 4p-10p with restaurants and bars staying open considerably later. In the shops... On a typical Hop, over 40 galleries and non-traditional art venues (think restaurants, boutiques, and salons) spotlight the best of established and emerging Ohio-based artists. They also feature the works of nationally and internationally acclaimed artists. On the streets... performers settle into the

Lindsay Gallery

Salon Hotel Lily

Marcia Evans Gallery

Mahan Gallery OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

Art + Home 745 N High St / 614.291.2787 www.artandhome-oh.com Exhibit Title: Watercolors Artist(s): Lorraine Danzo & Laura Kramer Art Media: Watercolors About the Exhibit: A refined collection of watercolors defined by ample color and unique perspectives.

many nooks of the District to entertain the throngs of Short North fans. Saxophonists, singers, improvisational dance troupes, even stilt walkers and stage characters add to the unforgettable experience. In July, the Short North celebrated its 275th consecutive Gallery Hop. In December, the Gallery Hop morphs into the incomparable Holiday Hop - the opening salvo of Columbus’ urban holiday season. Upwards of 20,000 visitors share an evening of pure energy under the brightly colored, ever-changing lights of the High Street arches. The Gallery Hop is hosted by Columbus alive! and CD101, and supported by the CW on WWHO-TV, Outlook Weekly and the Columbus Dispatch. Following is a sneak preview of what’s on tap this month.

Art + Home www.fagoodman.com Exhibit Title: Use Your Imagination Artist(s): Chris Jones Art Media: Mixed Media Painting About the Exhibit: An invigorating collection of abstracts is complemented by Ms. Jones' more recent plein aire works.

F.A. Goodman Architects, LLC drawing are his main methods of expression.

Exhibit Title: Fabric of Life Artist(s): Kiwon Wang Art Media: jewelry About the Exhibit: Kiwon uses pingMarcia Evans Gallery pong balls as a metaphor representing 8 East Lincoln St. / 614.298.8847 the bouncing back and forth of ideas Exhibit Title: Holiday Salon Show and growth. Artist reception “Fashion Artist(s): Selection of Gallery Artists Art Media: Acrylic & Oil Paintings, Wood Show,” Saturday November 1,5-7pm. Jewelry modeled by Ohio Roller Girls. & Bronze Sculpture, Prints & Glass Kathryn Gallery RSVP 221-8580. About the Exhibit: Paintings, Prints, 642 N. High Street / 614.222.6801 Sculpture & Hand Blown Glass. kathryngallery.com The Art Exchange, LTD, Studio on High Gallery Artist(s): Carol Redmond and Fiona 17 E. Brickel St / 614.464.4611 726 N High St / 614.299.0860 pm gallery Exhibit Title: Autumn Group Exhibition Hoop pmgallery.com 726 N High St / 614.299.0860 Artist(s): LaVon Van Willimams, Marc Art Media: Oil and Mixed Media Dimen- pmgallery.com Exhibit Title: Small Treasures Ross, Jack Russell, Dannis Applebee, sional Wooded Boxes. Artist(s): Studio On High Artists Exhibit Title: Sturgill and Volker Dan Miller, Katherine Kadish, Gordon About the Exhibit: The box art of Carol Artist(s): Susan Sturgill & Paul Volker Art Media: Painting, Printmaking, Ceramics, Wearable Art, Jewlery, and more Lee, Sandy Kessler, and many others Redmond has brightly colored non-ob- Art Media: etching, drawing & painting jective warm colors. The boxes are both Artist Reception: Limited edition etch- About the Exhibit: At Studios on High, Art Media: Multi Media you will find a unique,creative, and dihung in a series or in some cases grid ings and drawings by Susan Sturgill About the Exhibit: While the stock expanels.The wax based encaustic pieces and Buddha and Wild Beast paintings verse gallery featuring the work of sevenchange is unpredictable, you can alteen local artists. of Fiona Hoop are both non-objective ways count on The Art Exchange! We by Paul Volker and often remind the viewer or a landhave something for everyone with our Terra Gallery scape. wide variety of regional and national Rivet 8 E Poplar Ave / 614.228.4188 artists. 1200 N High St / 614.294.8697 www.terra-gallery.com Lindsay Gallery Exhibit Title: Beautiful Disasters Exhibit Title: Mother & Child 986 N High St / 614.291.1973 Echoes Art & Antiques Artist(s): Charlie Owens & Jim Koch Artist(s): Suzanne Gallagher 24 East Lincoln Street / 614.291.9101 Exhibit Title: SCARY? You have no idea! Art Media: Mixed Art Media: watercolors, oil paintings Exhibit Title: Smoky Brown Artist(s): Amber Groome, Shaun Engel and drawings Artist(s): Grandma Smoky Brown Salon Hotel Lily Art Media: various About the Exhibit: Terra Gallery presents Art Media: Acrylic on Board / Canvas About the Exhibit: Shaun Engel's draw- 864 N High St / 614.294.0400 “Mother and Child,” a collection of waAbout the Exhibit: Collection of orginal ings, mailed out from behind bars, tell www.salonhotellily.com tercolors, oil paintings, and drawings pieces from private collections - all for stories of crime and drug abuse. Exhibit Title: Here it Comes Again by Suzanne Gallagher. In addition, the sale . His pieces have been favorites at Amber Groome makes tiny meticulously Artist(s): Robert Trautman the last three Art For Life events affliArt Media: mixed medium & photography gallery will feature contemporary paintcrafted dolls that chronicle her ated with the Columbus Museum of struggle with bipolar disorder. About the Exhibit: A small selection of ings, mixed media and sculpture. Showing November 1st through DeArt. photography. As well as large mixed cember 4th. Meet the artist, Suzanne Mac Worthington's medium pop art abstractions. Gallagher on November 7th from 6-9p. Elements of Art / Art Space Exhibit Title: "Special Edition"Visual 507 N. High St. / 614.324.9030 Sharon Weiss Gallery Fine Arts exhibition Three Dog Bakery www.elementsofart.net Artist(s): Mac Worthington 20 East Lincoln / 614.291.5683 611 N High St. / 614.221.DOGS (3647) Exhibit Title: Human Forms Art Media: various www.sharonweissgallery.com Exhibit Title: Art with a Mission Artist(s): Roman Czech Artist Reception: Nov 15, 6p-9p Exhibit Title: Italian Scultures: Holy Artist(s): Mozart Dane Art Media: Mixed Media Stone Art Media: acrylic on canvas About the Exhibit: Collation of original Mahan Gallery Artist(s): Nina Menduni About the Exhibit: Mozart, a Great Dane work and international artists. Owner 717 N. High St / 614.294.3278 Art Media: marble sculpture rescued by Harlequin Haven, found an Roman Czech hosts a wide variety of Exhibit Title: Old School Abstraction About the Exhibit: Each piece was exhibitions offering a full spectrum of Artist(s): Jeff Shaw carved in Tuscany with the purist form outlet through art. His art is not only beautiful, it contains a message creative expression from traditional to Art Media: painting of marble called statuaria against puppy mills and irresponsible installation art. About the Exhibit: Shaw works in an breeding, and for spay/neuter. improvisational style based on intuSherrie Gallerie F.A. Goodman Architects, LLC ition, years of study, and studio experi- 694 N High St / 614.221.8580 16 East Poplar Avenue / 614.461.1300 ence. Gestural Paintings, design and www.sherriegallerie.com

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FILM by Adam Lippe

Save Me A movie on a great subject can be quite frustrating, because often, the filmmakers either chicken out and make something pat and obvious, or they don’t have the skills or money to pull off their ambitions, so you spend the entire running time praying the film will get better. Screenings of movies like Save Me, an attempt to honestly and fairly portray the inner workings of a gay re-orientation commune, make you feel guilty for not enjoying them more. You walk out of the theater gritting your teeth and trying to say something, anything, nice about what you just saw, without trying to sound like you were bored or that it felt like homework. Save Me gets off on the wrong foot, immediately establishing that it is going to focus on heavy-handed symbolism and dialogue every step of the way. Our protagonist, Mark, played by producer and former child star Chad Allen, is seen driving recklessly and snorting coke while getting attention from his recent male acquisition. A quickie at a hotel dissolves into emotional heartbreak and medical emergencies. These snippets, accompanied by loud, intense music, are intercut with calming church services, people smiling and singing along with their fellow worshippers. This simplistic morality makes you think that Kirk Cameron will show up at any moment, and it will finally be revealed that this is a church-sponsored TV movie. The dramatic progression is quite clear: Mark will find salvation and learn his lesson through God, realizing the error of his ways and that life isn’t about wanton pleasure and

degradation. For most viewers, impatience will have set in long before Mark’s religiously conservative brother forces him to clean up at an ex-gay camp called Genesis House. That’s a shame, because that’s where we are introduced to Judith Light (another co-producer) playing Gayle, the woman who runs the camp. Her character is headstrong and a passive-aggressive bully who piles on guilt trips when it suits her cause. And yet, she is not a cartoon, just an emotionally selfish person who takes out her pain on others while trying to mold young men into what she always hoped her child could have been. While Gayle’s fascinating conflicts should have been the centerpiece, the movie is bogged down by Mark’s wholly unconvincing conversion from drug whore to a chaste, upstanding citizen and his burgeoning romance with another member of Genesis House, Robert Gant, a low-rent Brendan Fraser look-alike. It is clear that director Robert Cary (along with some of the other influential creative members, such as executive producers Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, who co-directed The Celluloid Closet) wanted to get into the realities of religious gay men dealing with selfdoubt, and this romance was a way to tie up the manman-God love triangle and show the conflicts inherent to happiness and faith within such a triangle. Unfortunately, the simplistic and inert love story takes over, making the ex-gay subject matter feel like it was shoehorned in, as opposed to driving the project. If you can get past the character’s constant on-the-nose dialogue, spoken without a hint of irony (“We’re all on the same team, isn’t that why we’re here?”), there’s a

rather accurate portrayal of the structure of ex-gay ministries. It isn’t just the various manipulations, the contrivance of happiness through isolation (a Stockholm Syndrome variation), but how troubled individuals get sucked into this world because of the appearance of human kindness, something that has always been missing from their lives. Some of these characters are so lonely that they even try to find love within their families’ condemnation of their lifestyle; they’ve been inundated with emotional hypocrisies from birth. They deal with this by trying to spin the hatred aimed at them in a positive light. Cary brings to light the most devious way that ex-gay organizations keep their members loaded with guilt and fear, by pretending that they can leave at any time while employing such strict rules that free will is only an illusion. But most of these ideas, including the scapegoating of homosexuality amidst a sea of other personal problems, are only skimmed over. Maybe I’m being too hard on Save Me because it isn’t what I wanted it to be. I’m aware that that isn’t fair, but if I have to be honest, the film is not particularly well made. Would it have been better had it been either more or less didactic? There’s no right answer, because the ideal film would have eschewed the romantic angle entirely and given us either a hidden camera documentary, or a seriously detailed and fictional exploration of how someone is taken in and convinced, by perfectly well meaning individuals, that their own identity will lead them straight to hell.

BOOKMARKS by Adam Leddy

MITHCELL GOLD TALKS CRISIS Mitchell Gold bends time to his will. In addition to running his company, Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, Gold has dedicated his life to helping Americans better understand the harm that is caused when religion is used to promote hostility toward gay and trans people; his organization, Faith in America, is tasked with countering such hostility and the belief systems that inspire it. A dynamo imbued with both easy confidence and a profound capacity for empathy, Gold is as much an activist as a businessman, and he brings the same piercing clarity and dedication to both roles. Gold’s new book, CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America, is a big and ambitious work, and the panoply of stories Gold presents capture in their aggregate the essence of what it is to come of age as a gay man or lesbian in America. As any GLBT person knows, that process is not always pretty, and neither are the stories collected in CRISIS. The book is the vision of an activist and educator, and its mission is to help create an America where gay youth can come to terms with who they are in an environment that is far more welcoming than that which young people must endure today. Recently I had occasion to sit down with Mitchell and discuss the book, his work, and the challenges young people still face growing up gay in America. AL: Tell us about Faith in America. MG: I started Faith in America four years ago with Jimmy Creech, a former Methodist minister, to educate Americans about the history of religion-based discrimination. It’s often been that in debates for and against discrimination, the side that comes down for discrimination is the one that uses their religious beliefs to justify the discrimination they’re espousing. One thing I’m

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

disappointed about is the advocacy organizations don’t talk enough about the issue of whether being gay is a choice. We believe it’s very important that people know that being gay is who you are; it’s not a choice. There is a direct connection between believing that being gay is a choice and believing that it’s a sin. We need to educate Americans about that. That’s part of why I started Faith in America. AL: What compelled you to put CRISIS together, and what you hope to accomplish with the book? MG: One of the things I’ve realized is that our movement has often conveyed gay rights to Americans as an issue of loving couples wanting Social Security benefits, hospital visitations rights, and other things that are very important to our health and happiness. But what the movement seems to be missing is talking about the pain and trauma that many people go through when they discover that they’re gay. Almost everyone I’ve talked to who is gay has a story to tell about how difficult it was for them to come to terms with themselves. The average American doesn’t know that - yet when I talk to people about it, they can relate to it, because the teenage years are difficult years for everyone, gay or straight. AL: How did you choose the contributors to the book, both the famous contributors and the ordinary people who shared their stories? MG: I want a wide range of people to read the book, so there’s something in there for everybody. I wanted contributors that everyone has heard of, but also people who aren’t famous, so that readers of the book understand that the average person walking down the street with a smile on her face could be someone in the middle of a crisis. There is a mental health epidemic in this country, with well over a million gay teens being depressed or suicidal, and I felt that having young people in the book would really dispel this myth that just because Will & Grace is on TV, that everything’s okay now.

Maybe people are coming out earlier as a result of positive developments like that, but I’m really concerned with the moment that people begin to discover that they’re gay, and the years of crisis that can follow. AL: What are some of the issues you’ve found that GLBT youth have to deal with now that they might not have had to 20-30 years ago? MG: There are two gigantic things. One is, someone who lives in a city like Columbus may come out younger, but they also might face a lot more bullying in school. When I was younger, you could fly under the radar a bit more easily. Today, there’s a lot more talk and a lot more openness, so if you’re not actively dating people of the opposite sex, you’re more likely to be questioned for it. That can lead to increased bullying. The other gigantic issue is, in the past, religious communities didn’t talk about homosexuality as much as they do today. Now it’s feverishly preached every week that homosexuals are sinners, they’re abominations, they’re ruining the moral fiber of society. People are hearing this every week, and it is torturous on these kids… The way America treats its gay citizens today is one of its greatest moral failings. That’s the message we want to get out. It’s a moral failing, and it’s one we can fix. All proceeds from CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America benefit seven charities working on behalf of GLBT youth. For more information on the book, and to purchase it, visit http://crisisbook.org; for information on Faith in America, visit www.faithinamerica.info

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 27

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OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

28 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 29

SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage In this very special episode of Savage Love, I answer letters from readers who made the largest donations to the campaigns to preserve marriage equality in California (www.noonprop8.com), protect same-sex couples in Florida (www.sayno2.com), and defeat Stephen Harper in Canada. I neglected to ask readers to send dough to the campaign against an anti-gaymarriage amendment in Arizona, too (it’s not too late: www.votenoprop102.com), because I am a bad, bad man. Okay, on to this week’s top donors…

up to give a good blowjob. Now this is a little gross, but generally when people vomit they emit an excess amount of saliva. So, one way to remedy a lack of lubrication when giving a blowjob is to deepthroat his cock until you provoke a slight - emphasis on SLIGHT, you don’t want to actually puke on him - gag reflex reaction, which will trigger the production of saliva.

I’m a 31-year-old heterosexual woman, and my boyfriend and I are starting to experiment with “pegging” (great term, btw). He’s very much into submission and humiliation, and I find I’m pretty damn good at the fem-dom thing. I understand that preferences run the gamut and every couple needs to figure out their own boundaries, but I was wondering if you could give me your perspective on a couple of things I find troubling. 1. My boyfriend can be bossy sometimes, but I find his assertiveness particularly irritating when he tells me how to dominate him. Shouldn’t this be my job to figure out what I want to do to him and just do it? I would never actually hurt him, but I think he’s too bossy for a sub - or is that what people mean by “the bottom is actually in charge”? 2. One of our “games” is when I get him almost to orgasm and then don’t allow him to come. He really likes being denied orgasms, and maybe it’s my inner man-pleaser, but sometimes I just like when he comes because it makes me feel some sense of accomplishment and competence as a lover. However, I’ve noticed lately that when I do let him come, he kind of acts like a jerk afterward. Is this typical post-orgasm, men-don’t-need-to-cuddle behavior, or is he upset because I didn’t “deny” him? I’ve asked him, but he’s not very chatty when he’s in his post-orgasm jerk mode.

Thanks for sharing your money and tossing up those insights, STGA. Now Blowing Smoke can get to work on fine-tuning the ol’ gag reflex.

Inexperienced Pegger Eagerly Gratifies 1. It’s not your job to “figure out” how to dominate him. It’s your job - both of your jobs - to talk about your turn-ons at great length and then come up with a mutually pleasurable list of BDSM activities and fantasies that you want to explore together. Then when you’re fucking around, IPEG, stick pretty close to the items and fantasies on that agreed-upon list - not a list of what he wants, but a list of what you both want - while gently pushing his boundaries. And while you’re fucking around, he should refrain from all bossy behaviors and just freaking submit. Unless, of course, he opts to use his “safe word.” But to prevent him from “topping from below,” IPEG, tell him that using his safe word ends the scene and the sex. If he uses his safe word, you get up, clean up, go to bed, give each other a kiss, and talk things over later. That way he won’t use the safe word to edit, i.e., it won’t be a tool he can use to boss you around while you’re topping him. 2. If he’s not chatty in post-orgasm mode, chat with him later - you know, when enough time has passed to put him back in pre-orgasm mode. (An hour? Two? Twelve?) And tell him what you’ve told me: You’ll deny him orgasms regularly, but you intend to make him come regularly. Because it’s what you want. And a fem-dom relationship is supposed to be about - or appear to be about - what you, the fem, wants and not what he, the dommed, wants. I don’t have a question in particular, but your column inspired me to donate to this worthy cause (No on Prop 8). However, I do have an addendum to your advice to Blowing Smoke, which I thought was… eh. Blowing Smoke likes smoking pot and she likes giving head - but her mouth is too dry after smoking

Supports The Gay Agenda

I donated a pretty large sum for a guy who drives an 11-year-old Taurus. I wish I had a good question for you. So, uh - have you ever received a question that made you dry-heave a little in revulsion? What was the question? Too Much Light Blinds Questions that have me heaving are a dime a dozen, TMLB. At least one arrives every day. (After a couple of close calls - dry heaves that almost went wet - I am now careful not to read my mail immediately after a meal.) It’s the questions that elicit a rare “Oh my God!” that are remarkable. The most recent example: A poop lover who felt that I was unsympathetic to his kind - and I am - took it upon himself to desensitize me to poop “play” by sending me several dozen digital images of himself and his wife before, during, and after a “session.” Unsurprisingly, his efforts backfired. Thank you for getting people involved in the No on Prop 8 campaign! I’m a 30-year-old gay guy and moved from one city to another. Shortly after I moved, my boyfriend dumped me and I began a fairly long and severe depression. I had scarcely any friends in my new city, but never in my life did I need friends more. The problem was that many of the guys I met were interested in a romantic relationship. I, however, was entirely un-datable. But because I was lonely, I went ahead and dated these guys for a while. These were great guys, and I really wanted their friendship, but I wasn’t emotionally available for more. I feel bad because I ended up jerking them around and hurting some feelings. This is my question: How can a young gay man negotiate the whole “friends” thing? Should I view other single guys as poor prospects and seek out girls/couples/heteros for friendship? Is the line between friendship and dating always fuzzier for gay men? Looking For Friends You’re making this more complicated than it needs to be, LFF. Look, you were depressed and alone in a new city and had recently been dumped, LFF, and all of that sucks. But it’s naughty for folks - gay, straight, bi, whatever - to take advantage of people who find them attractive. And that’s exactly what you were doing to those guys. There wasn’t anything “fuzzy” going on here, LFF; you weren’t confused about your feelings. Those guys made it clear that they were into you, it was clear to you that you weren’t into them, but you went ahead and dated them anyway - you encouraged them to think you had some interest in them - because you wanted their companionship and support. And you got it - under false pretenses. Understandable, again, given your emotional state, but not cool. Now, you don’t have to rule out all other single gay men as potential friends in the future, LFF, just the

ones who are attracted to you sexually and/or romantically. Unless you’re all things to all people - and you can’t be because no one is - there are single gay men out there who might want your companionship but not your ass, LFF. Make friends with them. When I met my girlfriend, she had recently quit smoking. She knew from the very beginning that smoking is a deal breaker for me, but despite the encouragement from me and all her friends, she keeps having “lapses.” I haven’t dumped her over this because we live far apart at the moment. However, I feel very firmly that we can’t take the next step - one of us moving to be with the other - until she kicks this habit for good. She has always insisted that she wants to, and she knows how much smoking bothers me. But at what point will I know if she has finally quit? My fear is that there will always be another “lapse” coming. She is so great in every other way that I don’t want to blow her off prematurely, and I want her to quit for her own health, too. Am I being an unreasonable perfectionist? Do Not Use My Name Here’s my bought-and-paid-for advice, DNUMN: Beware the smoker who stops - or “quits” - just long enough to convince you that her smoking days are behind her and then, once you’re living together or married or otherwise hopelessly entangled, suddenly experiences one final and everlasting “lapse.” Be clear and up front, DNUMN: Smoking is a deal breaker if she moves across the country to live with you, it’s a deal breaker if you marry her, it’s a deal breaker now, it’s a deal breaker forever. I don’t have a question. I have a story to share. My parents had an unusual strategy for sex education. Instead of picking a day to have a birdsbees discussion, they first explained all the mechanics of the penis/vagina/uterus/baby when I was 6 months old. This was to give them practice. Then, as I got older, any question I asked that was moderately related to sex resulted in me getting the whole of the penis/vagina/uterus/baby story again. Fast-forward to sophomore year. While playing a drinking game, people were asked to retell the story of when they got The Talk. But I never got The Talk because I grew up with it. So on winter break, I demanded The Talk from my dad. He came up with a few quips - sex is easy, sleeping in the same bed is hard. But the next day my mother pulled me aside. “So I understand that you and your father had a conversation yesterday,” my delightfully WASP-y and cheerful mother said. “Um, yeah - ” “I want you to forget everything he said and remember this. Whatever you’re doing, do it slower. Whatever you’re doing, do it softer. And whatever you’re doing, ask more questions.” She turned around and walked away as I picked up my jaw from my floor. J. I don’t want to contradict your mother, J., but for the record, some folks like it fast and hard, and prefer the barked orders to the thoughtful questions. But it’s a sweet story, J., thanks for sharing.… I am a bisexual woman in a nonmonogamous marriage with a lesbian. We met one Sunday afternoon through an ad in our local alternative newsweekly. It was supposed to be a booty call, but Jennifer is so smart, witty, and just plain good that I had to have some more of her and her milky-white breasts. The sex started off fantastic - for the first six

months, every time we got down was the best sex I’ve ever had. Eight years later, we’ve had lots of sex toys, some gents and ladies on the side, and a few sex parties, and we are just as passionate and creative in bed as ever. We respect each other’s sexual autonomy and our other partners, as well as our own relationship. Domestically, we are very compatible and even agree on how to spend our money: good causes, traveling, and a Tempur-Pedic bed. Things are fantastic. My question: How can I be any more smug? Holly You’ve stumped me, Holly. But thanks for sharing both your fortune and your good fortune. I’m an American man but I’m writing from Canada, where my husband and I live. Please remind everyone that even though defeating Prop 8 is vital, getting rid of the federal “Defense of Marriage Act” is equally important. My hubby cannot live there with me until DOMA is repealed no matter what happens in California or any other state. Many people don’t get that state and federal marriage laws are two different things. Okay, here’s our pressing question: What is the proper threesome etiquette once the good times are over? What do you do with your third? I say we should roll over and make room in the bed, while my husband thinks we should (nicely) toss the guy out. What say you? Married And Gay In Canada I’m with your partner, MAGIC, unless… If it’s pissing rain outside or freezing cold, or if you live in a neighborhood that’s unsafe to stroll through alone at 4:00 am, or if your third ditched his friends and his ride - to come home with you and the husband, MAGIC, then you should offer to the third to stay the night. But no third worth inviting back will accept. A good third knows to say thanks and get out - or eat it and beat it - so that his hosts can decompress, check in with each other, and resume the open, flagrant, unself-conscious farting that characterizes all long-term relationships. Could you mention my recycled t-shirt website, teecycle.org, in the column? Here’s how the site works: Every day I post a new (used) shirt. Each one costs $7 and a dollar of that goes to restoring urban rivers. Tim Cigelske I don’t see the connection between urban rivers and used t-shirts, Tim, and I think urban rivers are in serious trouble if we’re restoring them one-dollar-perused-t-shirt-sold-via-website-at-a-time, but thanks for the donation and here’s your plug. Well, hey, that was fun! But next week I’ll be selecting letters using my tried-and-true method: Sit in a bar, have a few drinks, read a few hundred e-mails, respond to ones I find interesting/appalling/nauseating. And a word to the hundreds of folks who made donations and are waiting on personal responses from me: I’m a bit overwhelmed. Perhaps I should have made the cutoff for advice $100, not $25. I’ll get to everybody, I swear, but it’s going to take a week or two. But everyone who made a donation will hear from me before we all go to the polls on November 4 and vote for Barack Obama. Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net.

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

30 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

ABOUT TOWN

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30

Halloween Weekend Kickoff Show @ Havana, 862 N High St, columbusnightlife.com: Nina and her ghouls get your Halloween weekend off to a ghastly start! 10p. Trauma 2008 @ BoMA, 595 E Broad St, 614.233.3000, www.evolvedbodyart.com/trauma: Trauma is a one of a kind, once a year event that gives back to the Columbus community. The Halloween fetish party features DJs, live performers, artists, activities and vendors from around central Ohio. The production is a joint effort between Evolved Body Art, Motion Productions, and many others in our community. Proceeds from the party will help to adopt 10 under privileged families in central Ohio. Each family will receive a haircut, family portraits and an oven-ready meal from Whole Foods. 9p; $15 pre-sale, $20 at door.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31

Costume Contest @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusnightlife.com: Nina West hosts the 8th Annual Halloween Party. $2000 up for grabs. Judging at 10p. Costume Contest @ Jaybird’s Tiki Bar, inside Frog Bear & Wild Boar, 343 N Front, 614.528.0040: $500 for best costume Fri and Sat. 10p both nights; free. Costume Contest @ Union Bar+Food, 782 N High St, 614.421.CAFE (2233), columbusnightlife.com: $800 in prizes will be awarded the best costumes on the strip. 9p; free. Devil’s Ball @ Q Bar & Nightclub, 205 N Fifth St, 614.222.2401, www.q-nation.com: Come get your tricks and treats. $500 in cash and prizes for best dressed. 11p; free in costume. Halloween Blackout @ Club Columbus, 795 W Fifth Ave, 614.291.0049, the-clubs.com: Extreme fetish attire suggested and rewarded. 10p; $15-$30 lockers/rooms. Halloween Costume Contest @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th St, 614.849.0099, scorebarcolumbus.com: Head downtown for this Halloween party and contest. 1st place wins a trip to Las Vegas & $500; 2nd place $100, 3rd place $50. 12a; free. Halloween Drag @ Tremont, 708 S High St, 614.444.2041: Halloween drag show. 12a; free.

Boo-Licious Halloween Happenings

Halloween Fun @ Woof’s, 2063 Livingston Ave, 614.237.3595, woofscolumbus.com: Costume contest with cash and prizes. Horror DVD giveaway every hour. Fri & Sat, 10p.

Ghostly Manor Thrill Center, 3319 Milan Rd, Sandusky, 419.626.4467, www.ghostlymanor.com: Thu & Sun 7p-10p, Fri-Sat 7p-12a; $11 for 10 & over, $6 for 9 & under.

Halloween Horror @ the Wexner Center, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535: The Innocents stars Deborah Kerr as a governess who fears her two young charges are being haunted by the ghosts of their former nanny and the creepy mansion’s valet. 7p; $7.

Haunted Hollow Olentangy Indian Caverns, 1779 Home Rd, Delaware, 740.548.7917, www.ahauntedhollow.net: The Haunted Hollow is an outdoor attraction featuring horrific mazes of terror. The Haunted Hollow is a family friendly attraction. Oct 31 & Nov 1. 7:30p-11:30p; $9.

Halloween Show @ Somewhere Else, 1312 S High Street, 614.443.4300: Starring Kara Sene, Nichelle Devereaux, Brent Fabian, Hellin Bedd & more. 11p. HighBall Halloween in the Short North, Buttles to Hubbard, www.highballhalloween.com: The evening’s festivities will include Outrageous Costume Contests, a Couture Costume Fashion Showdown for fashion professionals, the Dogtober Howloween Procession for costume-crazed pet owners, live bands, the city’s hottest DJs and $5,000 in prizes! 6p-12a; free. A Nightmare on Wall Street @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Costume judging begins at midnight. $1,000 in cash prizes. 9p doors; $4 before 11p, $6 after. Ryan Scarlata & Jenny Boyd @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, clubdiversity.com: Hear Halloween favorites from Rocky Horror, “The Monster Mash,” and a few surprise tunes as Ryan and Jenny play in their best pirate finery. 9:30p-12:30a; free. Halloween Masquerade @ James’ Club 88, 55 W Long St, 614.223.1213, www.jamesclub88.com: Jazz Mary till 11:30, James after. Prizes for costume, special witches brew. 8:30p; $2

HAUNTS:

Dead Acres / Haunted Hoochie 13861 Broad St SW, Pataskala, 740.927.3568, www.deadacres.com: Oct 30-31, Nov 1. Gates 6p, shows 8:30p until sold out. $17, VIP $27. Forest of Fright 7295 Duncan Run Rd, Philo, 740.280.0952, www.forestoffright.org: Not recommended for children under 13. Fri & Sat thru Nov 1. 7:30p-11p; $10. Ghostly Manor: A Haunting Experience

The Haunted Ship The Santa Maria, Battelle Park off Marconi Blvd, 614.645.8760:Through Nov 1. 7p-10p; $5 adults $2.50 children. The House of Nightmares 477 S Front St, 614.949.0733, www.thehouseofnightmares.com: Oct 30-31 & Nov 1. Fri-Sat 7p-12a, Sun & Thu 7p-11p; $15-20. The Ohio State Reformatory Historic Site Haunted Prison Experience in Mansfield 100 Reformatory Road, Mansfield, 419.522.2644, www.shop.hauntedx.com: Thru Nov 1. Thur 7p-11p, Fri-Sat 7p-12a, Sun 7p10p; $15. Pataskala Haunted Forest 9383 Refugee Rd, Pataskala, 740.927.7376, www.pataskalahauntedforest.com: Oct 31 & Nov 1. 7p- 12a; $10. Terror Park @ Cooper Stadium 1155 W Mound St, 43223, 614.462.5250, www.terrorpark.com: Oct 30-31 & Nov 1. Thu 7:30p- 10p, Fri & Sat 7:30p-12a; $13.

BEGGERS’ NIGHTS: Columbus Trick or Treat: Oct 31, 6p-8p Malloween at Indian Mound Mall This is Indian Mound Mall’s annual Trick or Treat. We offer a safe, climate controlled environment for the little goblins. Oct 31, 6p-8p. Prime Outlets Jeffersonville Trick or Treat Prime Outlets Jeffersonville, 8000 Factory Shops Blvd, Jeffersonville, www.primeoutlets.com: For a monstrous good time, children can get their fill on Halloween goodies and celebrate the fall season. Adults and children are asked not to wear face masks. Oct 31, 5p.

COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: NOV 12, 6P-8P; LOCATION: LIQUID CAFE+LOUNGE ; SPEAKER: COLUMBUS POLICE DIVERSITY RECRUITING WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 31

fin

THE LAST WORD

Why Bubba Should Vote for Barack by Mickey Weems

This is an open letter to the cream of Pure White Christian society, our hard-working, beer-belching, deep-fried-anything-eating middle class in the Southland of America. So many unfounded rumors have been spread about Obama to scare White Christians, I feel it is my duty to spread some equally unfounded rumors in support of the Senator from Illinois. In order to make it more appealing to my target audience, I have written it in fluent Honkish. Dear fellow Southern white folks, Dixieland is the true heart of America. Joe Six-Pack from Alaska and Joe the Plumber from Ohio are Canadians compared to Bubba and Betty May from Possum Trot, Alabama. I have always been proud of being a Southern white man. We white folks invented Hee Haw, Dukes of Hazard, the Chicken Dance and best of all, English. Jesus loves English so much, He wrote the King James Bible in it. And you’d best believe that, even though Jesus loves everybody, He was also proud of being white. It’s because I am not ashamed of being of the Caucasian persuasion that I will vote for

Obama. White Enough for America, Redneck Enough for the South We’ve been hearing how many white folks are afraid to vote for Obama because of rumors that he’s Arab. Or if he’s not Arab, he’s Muslim. Or if he’s not Muslim, he’s Jewish. Or if he’s not Jewish, he’s a Black-Power Christian who hates white people. Or he’s a Godless Socialist. Let’s look at some little-known facts: first of all, not only is Obama white, he is a redneck. Here’s proof. Take his name. “Barack Hussein Obama.” It’s actually Gaelic and is properly written as “Brock Ossain (from Loch Ossain in Scotland) O’Bama.” His people are Black Irish who came over from County Limerick with a knapsack full of funny verses and a dream of freedom in their hearts. And everyone knows the Irish are the Rednecks of Europe. Second, O’Bama can’t dance worth a damn. He went on that famous lesbian’s show because everyone wants support from the gays so they look hip as they prevent queers from ruin-

ing marriage. During the show, Brock proved to the world he has the heart of a Democrat, but the rhythm of a Little Rock Republican. Third, O’Bama loves the South. Brock smokes cigarettes, thus supporting tobacco farmers from Virginia to Georgia. I don’t see old Yankee-Pants McCain or Arctic Snow Queen Palin lighting up. Fourth, Jesse Jackson hates him. We all know Jesse hates white people. Jesse also hates O’Bama. Therefore, logic dictates that O’Bama must be white. Or at least honorary white, just like the great American patriot and war hero, Colin Powell. Fifth, O’Bama loves NASCAR and guns. Just look at how he ran circles around McCain in the debates as Mr. “My Friends” wandered off track. And Brock must love guns because he’s shot down McCain so many times, ol’ Johnny’s having Vietnam flashbacks. Sixth, O’Bama’s from the Deep South.

The very last reason is actually based in fact. And it’s a doozy. Us rednecks are tired of hearing black people bitch about oppression, slavery, blah-blahblah. They should realize by now that, whatever they think white people owe them, we’re not gonna pay it. And we are fed up with being portrayed as if all of us today are still responsible for holding the black man down. If we vote O’Bama into office, maybe Black America will quit blaming us for everything. And just maybe Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpeton will finally shut the fuck up.

Can’t get much further south than Hawaii! Seventh, O’Bama may have once had a mad-dog for a preacher (who hasn’t?). But he’s never ever been a Mormon! The Best Reason of All to Vote for O’Bama

HOROSCOPES by Jack Fertig

SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Any efforts to deal with finances now can cause more frustration than they would alleviate. Find cheap ways to enjoy the company of your friends. Spiritual lessons from childhood will help you deal with competition at work.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): A friend who wants “benefits” risks spoiling a good thing. Keep it platonic. Discuss the possibilities so your pal can realize what a disaster it would be in the long run. In the end, it should be good for a laugh.

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): Too much self-criticism is blocking the creative edge you need to realize your goals. Sexual adventure - yes, something entirely new! - will help you over that hump. The stars suggest exploring domination fantasies. If you have a better idea, follow your own dreams.

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): Your naturally playful eroticism can get a little out of hand, leading to rude surprises. Have a very deep heart-to-heart with your partner about sex, but also about whatever philosophical or religious differences you may have.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 20): Being playful, charming, outspoken, and fun certainly has its place, but it also makes you the target of annoyed persons at home and at work. That offers a creative challenge to focus and grow; but find a place to have your fun, too!

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 19): Too much fun at work can make your partner feel neglected. What really counts in your career? What satisfactions does it offer that you don’t find in love? Re-evaluate your priorities, and be frank with your baby about them.

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20): Your political skills and foresight are especially sharp now. Look at any conflict not as a logical argument, but as a dramatic scene to be resolved. The best answers will come way out of left field.

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22): Take your partner or roommate window-shopping for some exotic house decor. No need to buy; just browsing will help clarify domestic problems. A new approach to housework is also helpful, and remaining problems might be best resolved in the bedroom.

CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan 19): Don’t get caught up in debates. Just listen to new ideas and arguments against them. If they contradict deeply held beliefs, accept the challenge quietly, and see where you have room to grow. Allow yourself an impulse buy for your home.

ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): Let your eye and ear wander to new artistic perspectives. Challenge yourself to appreciate things you’d normally avoid. The stimulation will help you to understand your place in the world better, to mend old friendships and make new ones.

CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): New approaches at work are worth trying, if only experimentally. Whether they work or not, your adaptability and thoughtful acceptance of criticism is what really counts. Bite your tongue and challenge your brain. Ambitious rivals may prove more helpful than well-meaning friends.

LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Life is stressful lately. Find a good friend and let it all out, even if it seems like a long, rambling, nonsensical torrent. That’s what good friends are for. Playful competition in some intellectually stimulating game also offers a sense of balance.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.

OCT 30 - NOV 05 2008