01.10.08 Outlook Weekly - Gay Folklore by Outlook Weekly

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BUS M U L CO POLI SCI • INTERVIEW : KIM COLES •

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2 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com

SNAPSHOT photos by Nina West & Chris Hayes

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008: NINA MADE HER WAY AROUND THE CIRCUIT MAKING SURE SHE GOT ALL HER KISSES IN BETWEEN ENTERTAINING THE MASSES. WERE YOU LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET YOUR KISS?

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mette Bach, Danielle Buckius, Wayne R Besen, Chris Crain, Jennifer Vanasco, Tom Moon, Regina Sewell, Leslie Robinson, Gregg Shapiro, Mick Weems, Julianne French, TF Barton, Romeo San Vicente, Jeff Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Tristan Taormino, Dennis Vanke, Mario Pinardi, Rick Kramer, Aaron Drake, Jennie Keplar, Scott Varner, Derrik Chinn, Dan Savage, Felice Newman, Tim Curran, Chris Hughes, Stephen J Fallon, Felice Newman, J. Eric Peters, Crystal Hawkins, Brent Wilder, Matthew Burlingame, Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Matthew Veritas Tsien, Cheri Meyers

BUSINESS & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels mdaniels@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 ADVERTISING DEADLINE Each Wednesday 8 days prior to publication. Call us at 614.268.8525.

OSU BUCKEYES: THOUGH WE LOST, FANS KEPT ROOTING FOR THE BUCKS TO THE BITTER END. NINA MARIA AND THE CAPITAL PRIDE BAND WERE JOINED BY THE OSU GLBT ALUMS AT U. NOKA DAVERS, LUSTER AND THE GANG GOT THE FANS RILED UP AT EAST VILLAGE. GO BUCKS!

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READERSHIP: 210,000 PEOPLE / MONTH Outlook Weekly is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. every Thursday throughout Ohio. Outlook Weekly is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over copies of Outlook Weekly with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in Outlook Weekly are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. Outlook Weekly does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2008 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008 VOLUME 12 NUMBER 28

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SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........3 GENERAL GAYETY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........4 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........6 EARTH TALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..........9 POLI SCI . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........11 EXAMINED LIFE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........12 NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........14 FEATURE: GAY ENCYCLOPEDIA . .. . . . . . . . . . 16-17 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........18 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .....18 INTERVIEW : KIM COLES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........20 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........22 PUCKER UP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........23 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........25 SPOTLIGHT : COLUMBUS IS FASHION . . . . . . ........26 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........27 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........27 NEXT WEEK: MLK DAY

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 3

ABOUT TOWN by Chris Hayes THURSDAY, JANUARY 10 MAD LOVE CrazySexyCool @ Shadowbox Cabaret, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, shadowboxcabaret.com: Get Crazy Sexy Cool this Winter! Just because the holidays are over doesn’t mean the fun has to end. Shadowbox opens CrazySexyCool tonight with all new sketches that explore such intimate issues as dating, romance, and sex…Shadowbox style. Through March 29. Thu 7:30p, Fri & Sat 7:30p & 10:30p; $20-$30. SATURDAY, JANUARY 12 THE HUMAN KIND The Humanist Community of Central Ohio Regular Monthly Meeting @ Northwood High Building room 100, 2231 N High St, 614.470.0811, www.hcco.org: Open Panel Discussion - Representatives from national presidential campaigns. 1p-3p, pizza at 12:30; free and open to the public. MAKE IT WORK COLUMBUS IS FASHION SHOW @ BOMA , 583 E Broad St, 614.233.3000, barofmodernart.com: See pg 26. SUNDAY, JANUARY 13 TICKLE MY KEYS Igor Lovchinsky @ Capital University, Mees Hall, 1 College & Main St, 614.893.2071: Come see this prodigy before you can’t afford him. Igor is Juillard trained and has performed over the world. Tonight’s show features music of Franck, Chopin, Busoni, Dorman, Schedrin, and Radiohead. His new CD will be avail for purchase. 5p; $10. TUESDAY, JANUARY 15 HEY GIRL HEY! Hey Girl! See what is sure to be one of the most talked about productions of the season. The darkly poetic dreamscapes of Hey Girl! unfold in a series of startlingly spectacular stage pictures. Italian imagist theater director Romeo Castellucci created this epic work for his ensemble, Socìetas Raffaello Sanzio, after casually glimpsing some school girls lost in their own thoughts while waiting for their buses. Hey Girl! then grew into a timeless meditation on the hearts of women who get up each day and go fearlessly into the world, archetypes like Shakespeare’s Juliet or Joan of Arc or even the girl next door. Enigmatic and surreal, the charged atmosphere Castellucci artfully constructs will unleash your imagination, too. He begins this sensory journey with a dramatic birth scene where his first heroine emerges from a chrysalis fully formed and poised for a future where there’s no turning back. Tonight and tomorrow. 8p; $10-$17. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16 YOUNG AND HUNG Columbus Gay Young Professionals Interest Group Meeting @ Stonewall Community Center, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: A new interest group has formed in Columbus to create an organization encouraging gay young professionals and their allies to become more engaged with the local GLBT community through social, educational, and philanthropic activities. The group is hosting an informational meeting today to bring together

anyone interested in assisting in the formation of this organization. Is that you? Hopefully, this group will serve as a voice for young gay women, men and those identifying as gender neutral in Columbus, and further assist the city’s efforts to attract and retain young professionals in Columbus. Pizza provided courtesy of Donatos. 7p; free. THURSDAY, JANUARY 17 COWGIRL HALL OF FAME Margo Victor’s The Rotten Riotous West @ The Box, Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: This month’s program complements our series of classic westerns with an entirely different take on the genre. The Rotten Riotous West (2006) by experimental filmmaker Margo Victor from Los Angeles turns the conventions of the western upside down by featuring lesbian supermodel-turnedactress Jenny Shimizu as a gun-slinging cowboy facing an unseen opponent. (6 mins, 24 secs.; 16mm film transferred to video). Through Jan 31. Screenings in The Box run continuously seven days a week (Mon-Wed: 9a-6p; Thu-Fri: 9a-8p; Sat: 10a-8p; Sun: 11a-6p); free. FRIDAY, JANUARY 18 I’M GONNA PRAISE YOU The Gospel Truth @ The Columbus Jazz Orchestra (CJO), under the direction of Byron Stripling, will revisit the music that earned rave reviews and attracted record-breaking audiences as legendary vocalist Mavis Staples joins the CJO for The Gospel Truth: From Spirituals to Swing, this season’s second offering in ‘The Great American Songbook Series’. Also joining the CJO will be the Milt Ruffin Chorale. Through Sat. 8p; $35-$48. HO HO HO, GREEN GIANT The BFG (The Big Friendly Giant) @ Verne Riffe Center’s Capitol Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045: The remarkable story of two misfits – an orphan child and a giant - and their extraordinary adventure brimming with breathtaking action, white-knuckle suspense, and side-splitting comedy. Through Jan 27. Fridays 7:30p, Sat 2:30p, and Sun 2:30p; $10- $20. IKEA CREATIONS CURRENTS: Jason Salavon @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, columbusmuseum.org: Salavon’s multi-media installation will examine the marketing of the ideal modern lifestyle, as seen in glossy catalogues of upscale home furnishings. Central to the exhibition is a multi-screen projection of a domestic living space titled “Catalogue to the Moon and Stars.” In this work, couches, carpets, and myriad home furnishings change shape, color, material, and style at a barely perceptible pace over the course of a day. Through May 4. SATURDAY, JANUARY 19 WATCH FOR PENNIES ON THE TRACK Ohio Roller Girls Roller Derby @ Lausche Building, Ohio Expo Center, 717 East 17th Avenue, 888.OHO.EXPO, www.ohioexpocenter.com: Enjoy all the intense action as the Ohio Roller Girls’ All-Star Team takes on the Detroit Derby Girls at this powerful match-up. 7p, $10-$15, kids 5 & under free. JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

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GENERAL GAYETY by Leslie Robinson

I refuse to let 2007 go. Not until I highlight some of the year’s events that slipped under the radar but helped make the year special. Imagine you and your partner are waiting for your luggage in a dark airport in the middle of the night when the PA system announces, “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death.” You might throw yourself down the luggage chute. It happened to a gay male couple, who complained to Fort Lauderdale airport authorities. Skycap Jethro Monestime admitted to broadcasting the verse from Leviticus twice. He said he meant it as a prank. He should stick with whoopee cushions. In England, a jailed Islamic cleric refused further treatment from his prison nurse after discovering the man is gay. Abu Hamza, convicted of inciting racial hatred and murder, has a hook for a right hand, and for over two years the nurse has helped him wash and dress.

The nurse is openly gay, clearly effeminate, and has the nickname of “Queenie.” Yet Hamza only recently figured out he’s gay. If only terrorists really were this dim. Hamza’s lawyers demanded a replacement, claiming it’s against his religion and human rights to be assisted by a homo. The prison service refused, saying it doesn’t discriminate on the basis of sexuality. Queenie himself was upset about the whole thing. “He has spent the last couple of years doing everything for Hamza, even wiping his bottom,” a source told the Mirror. “It shows how little respect Hamza has for others. The nurse dresses him, washes him, cleans his teeth, cuts his toenails, trims his beard and applies ointment for his skin disorder.” Too bad Queenie can’t apply something for Hamza’s unsightly soul disorder. Back in this country, a Chicago eighth grader and her grandparents were angry after a substitute teacher showed Brokeback Mountain. They responded in the only appropriate

way: They sued the teacher, the principal, and the Chicago Board of Education. The filmmakers and the state of Wyoming escaped their wrath. Grandfather and guardian Kenneth Richardson had earlier complained to school officials about reading material that included curse words, and Brokeback was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He told The Associated Press his lawsuit was “necessary” since he had already warned administrators about using materials “against our faith.” He said the movie traumatized his granddaughter, who required psychological treatment. The approximately $500,000 in damages they sought would buy her Chicago’s best therapist. Or a place on Maui. Whichever is more soothing. Earl Adams of Bentonville, Ark., also had money on his mind in 2007. His sons, ages 14 and 16, were in the public library looking for materials on military academies. What they found, however, was The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.

The two teenagers were “greatly disturbed” by finding the book, reported Adams, and it caused “many sleepless nights in our house.” I just bet it did. Adams faxed a letter to Bentonville’s mayor calling the book “patently offensive.” But complaining wasn’t enough for him. Adams also demanded the library director be fired, and declared his intention to sue the city for $20,000. That’s $10,000 per son, the maximum allowed under Arkansas’s obscenity law. He could’ve gone for $30,000 if another teenage son had been looking for books on sex, I mean military schools. The library’s advisory board voted to pull the book. A board member said they might replace it with one taking a “more sensitive, more clinical approach.” My guess is they chose a book on indoor plumbing. Leslie Robinson looks forward to the gems of 2008. E-mail her at LesRobinsn@aol.com, and read more columns at www.GeneralGayety.com.

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 9

EARTH TALK From the Editors of E

Dear EarthTalk:

We just started an environmental club at our high school. What issues and activities do you recommend we get involved with to make the most difference?

My condo kitchen floor is vinyl, installed back in 1979. I am told the vinyl contains asbestos. Now it needs replacing. How do I safely remove the vinyl and what are some green choices for a new floor?

Kurt Perry

Green Dreamer

Participating in an environmental club is an excellent way for high school students to learn about environmental issues while providing measurable benefit to their community. Given their local focus, most clubs focus on issues close to home. Many undertake handson activities like cleaning up local riverbanks and beaches strewn with litter, restoring degraded wildlife habitat and planting and managing a community organic garden. Other worthy ideas include starting a recycling program (or setting up a compost bin) on school grounds, involving the school or community in measuring and lowering their “carbon footprint,” organizing energy- and emissions-saving carpools for students who drive, and asking school officials to print all documents double-sided (to save paper). Another way for an environmental club to get involved is to offer assistance to a local green group already working on a project, be it an effort to preserve a threatened parcel of open space, promote bus ridership, get a wind turbine installed in town or pressure a local polluter to clean up its act. Polling club members on what issues matter most to them is a good way to get started on picking projects and activities. Several national nonprofits also help environmental clubs find focus areas and accomplish their goals. One of the leaders is EarthTeam, formed in 2000 with the mission of “creating a new generation of environmental leaders” by introducing teens to inspiring environmental experiences. The group’s website offers up extensive resources for starting an environmental club, finding resources and getting going on various environmental proj-

ects. The group also helps facilitate collaboration among clubs. Some popular events among EarthTeam clubs include tree plantings, river and beach clean-ups, visits to local wetlands and nature preserves, and holding environmental awareness days at schools. Movie nights are also popular. Showing a relevant environmental documentary on the big screen in a school auditorium or some other venue is a sure way to get a larger membership base and stir up student interest. Some recent releases that might stimulate discussion and ideas include: The Cost of Cool, an in-depth look at the environmental consequences of excessive consumerism, hosted by former Baywatch star Alexandra Paul; A Crude Awakening, about the impact of global oil dependency; and Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth. Another great resource is Earth Tomorrow, a national network of high school environmental clubs administered by the National Wildlife Federation. Through the network, clubs gain access to a wide range of resources on which they can base projects. Examples include the Schoolyard Habitats How-to Guide, which walks high schoolers through the steps involved in enhancing wildlife habitat and ecological health on school grounds, and the Science and Civics program, which shows students how to use science, economics, the law and politics to address a local conservation issue and implement an action plan. Beyond these pre-packaged resources, Earth Tomorrow members can tap each other for project ideas, help and general guidance to help make their club experience as productive and rewarding as possible.

Asbestos is a naturally occurring mineral that can be used in a variety of industrial applications due to its strong flexible fibers, its resilience to heat and chemicals, and the fact that it does not conduct electricity. From the late 1800s through the 1970s, asbestos was used extensively in the U.S. and elsewhere in everything from pipes and insulation to siding and flooring, including vinyl tiles. The problem with asbestos is that its microscopic fibers can become airborne when materials containing it get worn out, damaged or disturbed. Inhaling these airborne fibers can lead to a variety of health problems such as asbestosis (a chronic lung ailment that can produce shortness of breath and permanent lung damage) and a variety of cancers, including those of the lung, larynx and gastrointestinal tract. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) effectively banned asbestos in 1989. (The ban was later overturned in federal court as a result of pressure from mining and construction interests, but the damage to the substance’s reputation was too formidable for industry to start using it widely again.) Today, the only money to be made from asbestos is by those in the business of getting rid of it, and an entire industry has sprung up specializing in safely removing asbestos from both commercial and residential buildings. The EPA recommends that homeowners who want to remove asbestos-containing materials from their residences hire a licensed contractor to do the dirty work, so as not to compromise family or personal health. The EPA maintains an online listing of asbestos removal specialists across the country, and

homeowners can also look in their local Yellow Pages under “asbestos abatement” or “asbestos removal” to find local contractors qualified to remove and dispose of the stuff safely and completely. Hiring such a firm can cost thousands of dollars; so many do-it-yourselfers still take it upon themselves to remove worn asbestoscontaining materials (tiles, siding, etc.) from their own homes. Anyone willing to undertake such risks should make sure to get a respirator and other safety equipment to protect against inhaling airborne asbestos particles, and should seal off work areas so the carcinogenic dust does not spread into other areas of the building. The Flooring Lady website is chock full of details on how to minimize risks and includes strong reminders that such a task is not for the risk-averse. As for what to replace those worn vinyl tiles with, many greener choices abound. Bamboo, cork, linoleum, and sustainably harvested or reclaimed wood are all environmentally sound and widely available flooring options. Some of these products are available at the big box home improvement stores like Lowe’s and Home Depot, but better selections can be found at online green building supply stores like Ecohaus, Green Building Supply and GreenFloors, among others.

CONTACTS: EarthTeam, www.earthteam.net; Earth Tomorrow, www.nwf.org/earthtomorrow. U.S. EPA Asbestos Information, www.epa.gov/asbestos; The Flooring Lady, www.theflooringlady.com; Ecohaus, www.ecohaus.com; Green Building Supply, www.greenbuildingsupply.com; GreenFloors, www.greenfloors.com. GOT AN ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTION? E-mail: earthtalk@emagazine.com.

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10 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 11

POLI-SCI by Michael Daniels

Stonewall Dems Leader Declares for OH-12 House Seat On Jan 3, Russ Goodwin made history by becoming the first openly-GLBT candidate to run for the United States House of Representatives from Ohio’s 12th Congressional District. Goodwin is the immediate past president of Stonewall Democrats and a longtime community advocate. He has been featured in Outlook Weekly for both his involvement with political causes, and his advocacy on behalf of GLBT servicemen and women and was most recently spotlighted in our Veterans Day issue. I accompanied Goodwin to the Franklin County Board of Elections where he submitted the necessary petitions and paid the requisite fees to become a candidate. Afterwards, we sat down to discuss his decision to run, his platform, and his priorities. Michael Daniels: What was your primary reason for deciding to run in the Ohio 12th? Russ Goodwin: This has been a building process, an ongoing frustration I’ve had with Representatives from the 12th District. The way the 12th has been districted by the State Legislature, Republicans think they’re safe and therefore they forget the needs of the 12th and focus more on national issues to the detriment of the 12th’s residents. Our constituents are politically aware, and feel forgotten and overlooked. It’s time that changed. MD: If you are successful in your primary bid [Editors’ Note: At press time, the Franklin County Board of Elections has not yet certified candidates for office, but list Goodwin, Aaron Dagres, David Robinson, and Marc Fagin as Democrats who have filed.], you would face incumbent Pat Tiberi in November. How difficult will that be? RG: Tiberi has been in his seat for 8 years and has significant money on hand – probably some $500,000 or more. This is my first foray as a candidate, and I know I’ll have to raise a significant amount of money. I’d like to have $100,000 to go

into the primary. MD: Your first piece of campaign lit mentions three major issues that are important to you and your campaign, and I’d like to take each of them in turn. First, foreign policy and the war in Iraq. Where do you stand? RG: It was a major blunder to go into Iraq, and now five years in, it’s certainly time to get out. We must make the Iraquis stand up and be accountable for themselves. It is never appropriate for the United States military to be in the middle of another country’s civil war. MD: Does that mean you would tie your vote for war funding to a timeline for troop withdraw? RG: As a veteran, this is one of the most difficult and most personal of questions. I will do nothing to put our military personnel in more harm’s way, and that means that I will vote to make sure they have the body armor, vehicular armor, and other equipment that they need to do their jobs and do them in with the most safety possible. But we can’t fund a continually losing proposition. We must train the Iraquis and strategically withdraw our troops. We must support and help the people of Iraq, not simply the government of Iraq. So yes, funding for the war in general must be tied to a phased withdrawal plan. And finally, we must stop funding private contractor firms that are little more than vigilante forces. MD: What about neighboring countries such as Afghanistan? RG: Immediately following 9/11 we had the backing, support, and sympathy of the world. We went after Osama bin Laden; we went after al Qaeda. It was “bin Laden at any cost” – and it should have been. I supported the initial Afghan incursion, the elimination of bin Laden, and the destruction of al Qaeda and the Taliban. Unfortunately, this adminis-

tration then segued into Iraq – a contained country – and that was a mistake. MD: Moving back to the United States, you single out the sub-prime loan and mortgage crisis for particular attention. Why? RG: The sub-prime mortgage situation is a crisis, and, unfortunately, by the time I get elected and go to Washington, it will be 200% worse. Ohio is one of the top states affected, and we must work with banks, mortgage lenders, and facilities to keep families in their homes. No one should lose his or her home due to faulty or predatory lending practices. The United States Congress should first bring pressure to bear on those financial institutions, and then, if necessary, consider legislation to require them to act. And in any event, we should streamline and simplify the home mortgage process, so that buying a home is no more difficult than buying a car. MD: Your lit and website also mention environmental concerns. Can you elaborate? RG: Global warming is here – all credible science points to the danger of ignoring it. There are several things we can do to address this issue. It starts on an individual basis, reducing our personal carbon footprints by carpooling, using energy efficient appliances and bulbs, recycling, etc. At the federal level, the Congress can do even more to strengthen CASE standards (automotive MPG standards) and insist on development of hybrids, E85 vehicles, and use of hydrogen power. In Ohio alone, we could put wind farms in – not near, but in the lake – at Lake Erie, creating a piece of art, a tourist attraction, and generating enough electricity to power the surrounding areas. We should do more to develop and harness our hydroelectric capacity, and solar panels should become commonplace on every rooftop. And

we need to look at public transportation, whether it be light rail or truly embracing carpooling, and the Congress can have a big hand in influencing these decisions and behaviors by incentivizing conservation and alternative energy technologies. MD: We appreciate that you gave this first interview to us at Outlook Weekly, and you know we have to ask the question. How much is being an openly-gay man a factor with your candidacy? RG: I’m proud to have done my first interview with Outlook, the paper that serves the community of which I’ve long been a proud member. As for “the gay factor” it’s a part of who I am, and certainly it is a component of my character, just as being raised in a Christian household contributed to my character. I do not run away from being gay, nor am I running as “the gay candidate.” I think that being gay, and perhaps more importantly coming to terms with being gay, has made me stronger and more effective as a person, and will make me a stronger and more effective candidate. I have been through personally trying times as part of my coming out process, and since. I understand what it means to be labeled, or to be called “bad” or “immoral” or whatever, and the toll that takes on a person and a community. America was once a catalyst for inclusion – we led the way on women’s rights, and on civil rights for racial minorities. We were an example to the world. On the issue regarding sexual orientation and gender identity, we’re lagging shamefully. We’re behind most of Europe, including conservative, Catholic, Spain. We need to once again lead on equality issues – to advance the rights of everyone – to totally level the playing field. For more information on Goodwin and his campaign, visit www.goodwin4congress.com. JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

12 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

THE EXAMINED LIFE by Tom Moon, MFT

Long Term Open Relationships: A New Survey When it comes to the subject of open relationships, absolute and passionate opinions abound. Some people ‘know’ that they are the only kind of relationship that works for gay men; and others ‘know’ that all open relationships are doomed to fail. Opinions are plentiful, but reliable information about what actually happens in open relationships is scarce. That’s why I was very interested in meeting Blake Spears and Lanz Lowen. Blake and Lanz met in their mid-twenties and have been together for 32 years. After all that time, “we still have great sex,” Blake tells me, contradicting the common pessimistic belief that sexual interest inevitably wanes in a long-term relationship. How do they do it? “One reason,” Lanz says, “is that we’ve been in an open relationship from the very beginning. If we hadn’t been open, we wouldn’t have been able to grow individually or as a couple. We’ve been able to bring what we learn with other sex partners into the relationship, and we’ve also been able to bring some of those partners into the relationship, sometimes as three-ways, but also as friends. Being in an open relationship has helped keep our relationship interesting and alive.” Their experience contradicts some common beliefs about open relationships. I don’t know JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

how many times I’ve heard people say, “Once you open a relationship up to outside sex, it’s the beginning of the end,” or “When you have outside sex, you lose your focus on each other, and the closeness gets diluted by all the outside activity.” Both Blake and Lanz agree that their experience has not matched those predictions. But for years they struggled with the issues that inevitably arise in any open relationship in relative isolation. “We felt aberrant.” Blake said, “We couldn’t talk about it with our straight friends because to them an open relationship automatically meant ‘infidelity.’ But it was also hard to talk about with our gay friends. After the AIDS epidemic began, a lot of them just thought having outside sex was irresponsible. We also felt pressure from our friends to be ‘the perfect gay couple.’” And as the gay marriage movement gathered momentum, they felt expected to be poster boys for gay marriage, which seemed to mean monogamy, even though many of their friends were neither monogamous nor aspired to be. My very subjective impression is that a distinct majority of gay male relationships are open (although I also have the impression that more and more young gay men are opting for monogamy), so learning how difficult it is for so many people to discuss the issue somewhat

surprised me. That’s why I was happy to learn that Lanz and Blake have decided, as a way to give back to the community, to embark on the ambitious project of using their combined training and experience in research and psychology to do an independent, in-depth study of other long-term open gay male relationships. They want to find out how other couples navigate the issues, what “rules” they find helpful, what impact the outside sex has on their relationship, and so on. They emphasize that their goal is not to proselytize for open relationships and that they very much understand and respect the fact that monogamy is the preferred option for some. Their goal is to increase our understanding of how successful open relationships work. So far they’ve interviewed twenty couples from all over the United States and Canada. Their goal is to interview a total of one hundred couples and then to make their findings public, probably in book form. They’ve found that while it’s been fairly easy to find men in open relationships, it’s actually been hard to find very many who are willing to be interviewed about it. Sometimes that’s because the couple is still struggling with the issue. Sometimes it’s because the men don’t want their friends to know that they’re nonmonogamous. “It’s amazing how charged the

issue is for a lot of people.” Blake tells me. If you’re a gay male couple, have been together for eight years or more, and have explicitly agreed with each other to have “outside” sex, they’d like to talk with you. Each member of the couple will be interviewed separately for about 45 minutes. Confidentiality will be respected, including not sharing one partner’s comments with the other. Names will not be used in the final report, but if participants wish to be interviewed under a pseudonym, that wish will be honored. Participants won’t be reimbursed for their time, but Blake and Lanz will donate $25 to the AIDS or LGBT organization of their choice. Once the interviews are compiled and analyzed, they’ll be happy to share their findings with the couples. I believe their project deserves the support of our community. It may fill in gaps in our knowledge, dispel some misconceptions, and, above all, help to end the wholly unnecessary taboo against open discussion of this issue. If you would like to be involved in the study, you can reach them at lanzlowen@aol.com, or call them at 510.530.6875. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is tommoon.net.

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14 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL by Mette Bach

The Conversation

Most people, when they’re about to move, give notice to their landlords in the form of a phone call or possibly a letter. My landlord doesn’t operate that way. He’s nearly eighty and while his English is rusty, I’m told his Cantonese is even harder to understand. When I decided to give notice, I budgeted an afternoon and drove to his house where he insisted that I drink cola and eat fortune cookies with him. We spent the first hour talking about a parking ticket he got last week and how difficult it would be for him to show up in person to pay the fine. He could send a check in the mail, he told me, but how would he know if they got it? Who could trust mailmen these days? Since they’d cancelled the telephone payment option, all he could do was pay online. So he pulled out a chair in front of his 486 PC and gestured for me to sit down. His kids were too busy to give him a tutorial on the Internet, he said, so the duty fell to me. I figured out his dial-up connection as quickly as he got over his reluctance to send his credit card number into cyberspace and the lesson was over before my cola was even warm. “I’ll miss you,” he said when I finally managed to impress upon him that I was, in fact,

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

giving notice and planning to move. “I’ll miss you, too, Mr. Gee,” I said. He pushed his chair back from the computer desk and looked at me, inquisitive. “This woman-woman thing…is this something you always do?” He was, of course, referring to my ex. We had lived together in his house for the past two years and had spent many evenings with him, drinking cheap wine and listening to his stories about coming to this country with nothing when he was only sixteen and how he had driven a cab for forty years, bought real estate and put five kids through university. He told us about his failed marriages, his affinity for gambling and his good-for-nothing daughter who didn’t understand hard work. Invariably, by the end of the night, he’d tell me that I was beautiful, like a movie star and he’d pat my ex on the back and tell her he’d never known a woman so good at fixing things. “Yes, Mr. Gee. The woman-woman thing is something I do,” I said. He told me it was okay. He said that when he was young, it wasn’t okay to be woman-woman or man-man but things were different now and better. “Well, right now,” I said, “I’m ‘woman-no

one’. I just want to be by myself.” He hesitated for a moment, then started rifling through his files. Usually, when I visit him, he pulls out the family album and tells me stories about his younger days. He shows me his kids and talks about the importance of family and sticking together. I had a feeling that was what I had coming. I know Mr. Gee doesn’t approve of the bachelor apartment lifestyle. I was sure he was going to suggest that I move back in with my parents. Instead, he pulled out a photo of his dentist son, the one he’s always boasting about. He was in a cap and gown on graduation day, looking like he was posing for the kind of photo that he didn’t want his parents to have. He, too apparently lives alone, in a small condo and doesn’t aspire to the kind of family life that Mr. Gee wants for him. “My son,” he paused, “I think maybe he’s man-man. He’s a dentist. Very handsome.” “Oh.” “He’s very smart,” Mr. Gee insisted, “Maybe you should try.” When I realized I was being set up, I couldn’t help but laugh. “I have tried,” I said, “I’ll bet your son has tried, too.”

“You’re beautiful,” he said, “You could have a very rich husband.” Then he told me that I was a good girl for choosing my ex who, even though she wasn’t a rich man, had skills and talent and was smart. She had put in a new floor and installed our gas stove and rewired the house for him. Mr. Gee and I were both in awe of her abilities. “I loved her,” I told him. “I loved my ex-wife, too,” he said, “now she has my houses. That’s okay. Women… you can’t keep them. They stay until they don’t want to no more and then they go. It’s okay.” Mr. Gee has always made me feel that way, that things would be okay. We drank our colas in silence and then chatted a bit about the pain of parking tickets. I realized, as I left his house, that even though he never fixed the plumbing or the rotting planks in our porch, he was the best landlord I’d ever had. I wanted desperately to call his son, not because I think we could be soul mates or even husband and wife but because I wanted to tell him that his father is proud of him. I felt he should know that his father loves him and that he’s okay with everything.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 15

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JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

16 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

FEATURE STORY by Mickey Weems

The Encyclopedia All About Us:

Did you know: • The first legal Gay marriages in history were conducted in Toronto under the watchful eyes of a SWAT team, and that the officiating minister wore a bulletproof vest; • 70 years ago, actress and sex symbol Mae West was arrested for writing and producing a play called “The Drag,” a story about Gay men; • The first post-op Transman was Michael Dillon, born an English noblewoman, who went incognito to India to become a Buddhist monk; • We’Wha, a Native American Two-Spirit, was presented to high society in Washington, DC in 1886 as a Zuni princess; nobody seemed to notice she was biologically male; • Sakia Gunn from New Jersey was 15 years old when she was stabbed to death for telling a man who was harassing her and her friends that she was a Lesbian; • A coral-colored hanky means that the owner likes “shrimping” (toe-sucking). All this and more will be available in the upcoming Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife, due to be published in 2009. The encyclopedia will be two volumes, 800 pages long, and fun to read. Many people may be laughing about now. Fun to read? You’ve got to be joking. It’s an ENCYCLOPEDIA! But it will not be like any encyclopedia you’ve ever read. Gay culture is full of humor, drama, and scandal. The entries written for this work will not be dry lists of factoids, but engaging stories designed to entertain us and teach us just how fabulous we really are. How it all started A couple of years ago, I was approached to write some articles for the 2005 Encyclopedia of American Folklife. I wrote three: “Gay Communities,” “Gay Fire Island,” and “Gay San Francisco.” JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

The information I had gathered while researching these topics gave me an appreciation for the richness of LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Allies) culture. After the four-volume encyclopedia was published, I realized that I could have easily written twenty articles instead of three. That got me thinking: why not our own folklife encyclopedia? I contacted some of the top Gay scholars in folklore and asked them about putting together an encyclopedia from a folklorist perspective. A few years ago, they had talked about it. They felt, however, there was not enough material to warrant an encyclopedia. How things have changed! Nowadays, there’s enough material for a 20-volume set. We’re having a tough time limiting it to two volumes and 800 pages. We’ve got about 50 writers, an editorial board, and an advisory committee putting this project together. So far, so good. We need about 50 more writers, though.

“What the hell is Gay folklife?” When I was first approached to work on this project, I was very excited. I would go up to my friends and tell them I was the editor of the upand-coming Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife. Most of them would listen politely and then ask me, directly or indirectly, “What the hell is Gay folklife?” I wasn’t really sure myself. Let’s start with “Gay.” When the Stonewall Riots blew the nation’s closet doors wide open in 1969, “gay” included homosexual women and men, Transgender-Intersex persons, and Bisexuals who banded together to resist the shame and oppression imposed upon them. Unfortunately, the movement was hijacked by some narrow-minded homosexual men who

sought public acceptance instead of fairness. These men wanted to normalize gay liberation and make it less Queer by excluding a lot of Gay people. Too many times, women, Transgender, Intersex, and Bisexuals were left out, as well as people of color. Each group then sought its own identity away from the narrow representation that had been imposed upon “gay.” For the encyclopedia, we are going back to the Stonewall definition of “gay” that includes the full rainbow of Lesbians, Gay men, Bisexuals, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, and our allies, the LGBTQIA (or, more commonly, LGBT) acronym used today. That is why we capitalize “Gay.” It refers to the broader community that not only recognizes diversity but also appreciates it, a community that has strong ethics of inclusion and tolerance. “Folklife” is even more of a challenge to define. In general terms, “folklife” is what a folk group says, does, and makes. A bit vague, but it’s a start. Folklife is also supposed to privilege amateur over professional. And it usually involves identity, art, ethics, spirituality, or some combination. There are foodways, healthways, folk speech, folktales, folk religion, folk dancing, and folk music. Let us start by looking at folk artists within the LGBTQIA community-at-large. Women’s music, for example, is recorded and performed by paid professionals, both popularly recognized artists and artists that are known primarily in certain circles within Lesbian society. The Indigo Girls and Ani DiFranco would be examples of pop culture musicians within the pale of women’s music, while Bitch and Toshi Reagon are not yet pop culture icons. It is this kind of difference that has led us to leave the Indigo Girls and DiFranco (and other highly influential LGBTQIA musicians, such as k.d. lang and Morissey) off the list, but include some founders of the women’s music movement and

some of its non-mainstream artists, like Bitch and Toshi Reagon. Some people are in it just because they were such fabulous pioneers. Sylvester, the drag queen who was briefly a disco star, is included, as are the commercially successful writer Gertrude Stein and notorious actress Mae West. Stein and her life partner, Alice B. Toklas, were such revolutionary figures during their lifetimes that they fall under the category of “folk icons,” as does Mae West, who attempted to bring a play about drag culture to Broadway and got arrested for her trouble. Sylvester boldly appeared in drag at the height of his popularity. The stories about Stein, Toklas, West, and Sylvester are too good to be left out. Since the encyclopedia is primarily for education, we feel it is important to include tasty and engaging stories for our people and our allies to remember. The factors that seem most important in choosing people for articles are the following: • Are the candidates important figures in their folk art? • Do they represent a faction in the LGBTQIA population? • Have they influenced the community in significant ways? • Is there discourse generated around them? • On the other hand, is it unnecessary to have them because there already are plenty of books about them, OR has their role in LGBTQIA culture been adequately reported (as in Ellen DeGeneris, Rue Paul, Elton John, Rev. Gene Robinson, and Rosie O’Donnell)? • Would the encyclopedia be considered incomplete without them (as in Jane Addams, Harvey Milk, Sappho, Oscar Wilde, Bayard Rustin, Michel Foucault, and Walt Whitman)? It is at the intersection between LGBTQIA identities, aesthetic expression, ethics, community soli-

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 17

of Gay Folklife darity, and the history of Gay folk that we hope to situate every one of the articles. The usual things that concern folklorists, such as folktale, ballad, myth, legend, spirituality, and healthways will be covered in general, and then a few examples will be given from our rich cultural treasure chest. Other things, such as material culture, are less important in LGBTQIA folklife, although we have some real doozies, like the AIDS Quilt, the MaestraPeace Building in San Francisco, the infamous hanky code, and the wonderful variety of flags we’ve got. One aspect of healthways is peculiar to us: the medical challenges faced by Transgender people. Political and religious activism is also an important feature of our folklife. Myths and legends dealing with same-sex love, crossdressing, and Transgender abound in cultures around the world, as do ballads and folksongs about those same subjects. The one area that we have not made much of a mark is foodways, although one member of the editorial board said that the Lesbian potluck was an example, as was hummus. Perhaps they should be included! Let us know. The majority of articles in this list deal with public performance: drag kings and queens, rodeo, Gay Games, and spoken word. Some deal with LGBTQIA activism-as-folkway: Daughters of Bilitis, ACT-UP, suffragette, Mattachine Society, Angel Action, and PFLAG. Still others are symbols: red ribbon and pink triangle. All of them are about identity. Music is a rich category for Gay folklife. We have included Queercore, women’s music festivals, Bear festivals and music, DJ culture, gospel choirs, HipHop, and Circuit parties. Ethnic diversity is equally important. Transgender categories from Hawaii (mahu), Albania (sworn virgins) Thailand (kathoey), India (hijra), and Mexico (muxa) are mentioned, as well as Transgender activist Dana International from Israel, Carlos Las

Vegas from Winnipeg, and Maryam Hatoon Molkara from Iran. Emperor Ai from ancient China and the Angolan warrior-queen Xinga are in it as well. Another concern is equality between the sexes. We have made it a point that there are about the same number of entries about people who are born female as there are born male. The importance of this decision is an overriding concern for balance because, too often, the history of the Gay community looks too much like a history of the Gay male community with a few Lesbians included. There is a conscious decision, however, not to include articles exclusively about closeted Gay icons, such as Willa Cather, Langston Hughes, Catalina de Erauso, and Liberace. An exception has been made for the obvious examples of delightful ambiguity, such as the Queer fence-sitter, Mishima Yukio; a documentary on women bullfighters by Lesbian director Kathryn Klassen; the macho crypto-homoerotic national sport of Turkey, Turkish oil wrestling; the gender-bending, all-women-inmen’s-clothing Takarazuka Revue; and the sexyyet-campy Village People. Some closeted personages will nonetheless be included in an entry on the closet and an associate article on ex-gays. Both of these topics are important, if dreadful, aspects of Gay folklife in their production and in their refutation. Last but not least, what do we do about sex? Our community celebrates sex, and it plays an important role in our folklife. Nevertheless, sex is a problem in that, if given too much of a spotlight, everything else fades into the background. Thus a limit has been placed on the number of topics that deal directly with sex. Eros, bathhouse, Leather, and hanky code are included, but nothing else that directly addresses sexual practices. There will be no entries such as one on buttless chaps, sex toys, or pornography, although these things might be mentioned in articles if they are relevant.

By the way, not many people in our community know everything and everyone mentioned in this article, so don’t feel dumb if you don’t recognize all the names and topics. Before I started working on this project, I didn’t! Besides, what good would it do to write an encyclopedia of things that people already knew? When the final product is done, reading it will be as much an adventure as an education. Why this project is important There are already encyclopedias about LGBTQIA culture. What makes this project different is that it showcases our creativity. The Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife includes history, activism, and oppression, but these things are not its primary goal. This encyclopedia is about fabulous expressions of who we are, where we’ve been, how we got there, and who helped us along the way. It will be written in a way that is every bit as entertaining as it is informative. Each entry will be more than just a great scholarly work; it will also be an example of folk art, crafted by people who love us. How you can help Our challenge is to accomplish this task within 2 years and with a very limited budget. M.E. Sharpe has allotted $8000 for the entire project. Sharpe plans on producing an online version as well. We asked them about having color pictures, but were told that that was also not in the budget. They did, however, give us the green light to pitch the encyclopedia to sponsors, In turn, our sponsors would have their names mentioned prominently in the encyclopedia as well as other possible incentives. We are looking for sponsors and volunteers to help us raise money so that we can include color pictures and give our writers decent monetary compensation for their contributions.

More qualified writers are still needed to help us with the entries. Qualifications include an advanced degree (or working towards one) in the Social Science or Humanities. Although the encyclopedia is dedicated to Gay folklife, sponsors, writers, and volunteers do not have to be Gay. Please join us, in conjunction with the Qualia Festival of Gay Folklife and Outlook Media, as sponsors of a groundbreaking academic resource that will proudly display the amazing breadth of our traditions, media, festivals, and accomplishments. Help us make the Encyclopedia of Gay Folklife all that it can possibly be. JOIN US! We could use sponsors and volunteers to help us in several areas: • Fund raising • Photos for entries • Qualified writers • Media associates We do not need any more ideas for articles at this time except for suggestions about foodways. If interested, please contact Mickey Weems: mickeyweems@yahoo.com. FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD: WE NEED YOUR INPUT! We have no entries concerning Gay foodways. Are there any traditions of the kitchen that are part of LGBTQIA culture? Strictly speaking, vodka drinks are food, sort of. But it would be tragic if the only entries on foodways were about alcohol. Should “Lesbian Potluck” or “Hummus” be articles on foodways? Let us know!Contact Outlook Weekly and/or mickeyweems@yahoo.com with your suggestions and observations. JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

18 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD by Romeo San Vicente

SARAH JESSICA PARKER THINKS SMART

BUTLER MOVES TO CHRONIC TOWN

LA BRUCE SEES DEAD PEOPLE

SHADES OF REX LEE

Anyone unfamiliar with the modern phenomenon that is gay male worship of Sarah Jessica Parker need only check out the queer blogs’ frenzied chatter about the impending Sex and the City movie or the squealing, tear-filled reception the actor received when she popped in unexpectedly as guest judge on Bravo’s Project Runway. It’s safe to say that her comings and goings are must-see media events for lots of gay guys. And her fans will have more reasons to squeal when she stars in another upcoming feature, Smart People. Due to premiere at January’s Sundance Film Festival, the film stars Dennis Quaid as a widowed professor who finds new love with Parker and reunites with an adopted brother, played by Thomas Haden Church (Sideways). Ellen Page (Juno) co-stars as Quaid’s daughter. Smart Parker fans won’t have long to wait for the 2008 release.

Dan Butler was always a welcome sight on episodes of Frasier. The gay actor came out professionally back in the 1990s when it was still an iffy career move. That he played it super-straight as “Bulldog” on that show was an even cooler move. Since Frasier, the actor’s been seen in guest spots on other shows (House, Monk), but will renegotiate his image in the dark indie comedy Chronic Town. Reported to be a character study (with a title appropriated from an R.E.M. album) about a lonely cab driver in Fairbanks, Alaska, the film features Butler in a supporting role as a character named Blow Job. What this all means, exactly, is anyone’s guess, but it certainly can’t make a guy’s life easy to have that name on his driver’s license. The film debuts at Sundance in January with a theatrical release to follow.

Look up “iconoclast” in the dictionary and you might just find a photo of bad-boy Canadian director Bruce La Bruce. Coming along at the time of the rise of the so-called “New Queer Cinema” in the early 1990s, La Bruce was considered an outsider even from that movement. His hilarious and deliberately raw, profane films (Super 8 1⁄2, Hustler White, Raspberry Reich) guaranteed him notoriety and gave film geeks plenty to discuss, but also placed him squarely outside the mainstream. That’s a place he seems to revel in as he moves back and forth between art films and gay pornography, often overlapping the two genres. The evidence? His latest project, Otto: Up With Dead People, is about a gay zombie roaming the land of the living in search of love. No word on how explicitly sexual this one will be, but “very” seems a likely possibility.

As Lloyd, Jeremy Piven’s assistant on Entourage, gay actor Rex Lee has carved out a hilarious niche for himself. His character stuck around and gained a higher profile thanks to Lee’s wicked comic timing and popularity with fans. Soon, though, he’ll jump from the small to the big screen, appearing in the independent feature Shades of Ray. A seriocomic romance, Shades stars Chuck main man Zachary Levi as Ray, a mixed-race, American-born son of a Pakistani father and Caucasian mother. As his parents separate and his father moves in with him, Ray must deal with his own romantic and racial issues. Sounds heartfelt and sincere, but Romeo’s guessing that Lee’s job will be to pop up from time to time with just the right punchline for an awkward moment. As HBO audiences know, he’s an expert at that.

Romeo San Vicente’s own entourage is hotter than anything on TV. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

ARTS Wex Goes West by Erik Pepple

This January, the Wexner Center presents a fivenight, nine-film series offering some of the best films from that most American of genres, the western. Though the western has been proclaimed dead or irrelevant numerous times in film history, the recent releases of 3:10 to Yuma, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, and even the Coen brothers’ western update No Country for Old Men suggest that there is still plenty of life and contemporary relevance in the genre (see the New York Times Magazine cover story “How the Western Was Won” on November 11 for more on this topic). The Western series at the Wexner Center - which kicks off January 10 - presents a rare chance to revisit (or see on the big screen for the first time) some influential western classics. It features some of the genre’s iconic stars (including John Wayne, James Stewart, Randolph Scott, and Gary Cooper) in films by some of the genre’s masters (such as John Ford, Howard Hawks, Anthony Mann, and Budd Boetticher). While this series focuses on the postwar western cycle typified by flawed heroes and muddied morals (exemplified by Ford’s landmark The Searchers), it also includes lighter approaches (The Plainsman, Trail of the Vigilantes) and the clearly revisionist Little Big Man. This series was organized by the Wexner Center’s film staff. This month’s program complements our series of classic westerns with an entirely different take on the genre. The Rotten Riotous West (2006) by experJAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

imental filmmaker Margo Victor from Los Angeles turns the conventions of the western upside down by featuring lesbian supermodel-turned-actress Jenny Shimizu as a gun-slinging cowboy facing an unseen opponent. (6 mins., 24 secs.; 16mm film transferred to video) Victor lives and works in Los Angeles and received her BFA from the California Institute of the Arts. Her work has been exhibited at Kunstlerhaus Stuttgart and Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam, and in group shows in Los Angeles and New York. Earlier this year she had her first solo exhibition of paintings and film at Venetia Kapernekas Gallery, New York. Tickets for each night of the series are $7 general public; $5 members, students, and senior citizens; $3 children under 12. All films are 35mm vault prints, and all will be screened in the center’s stateof-the-art Film/Video Theater, 1871 N. High St. inside the Wexner Center. Convenient parking is available in Ohio State’s Ohio Union Garage and Arps Garage, both with entrances from North High Street and College Road. Parking is also available nearby at the South Campus Gateway Garage, located one block east of North Street between 9th and 11th Avenues. More information: 614.292.3535 or ww.wexarts.org. THE WESTERN Thursday, January 10 DOUBLE FEATURE 7p: The Searchers (John Ford, 1956). 119 mins. 9:10p: The Tall T (Budd Boetticher, 1957). 78 mins. Regularly cited as one of the best American films, The Searchers stars John Wayne as a man driven by

racially fueled hatred to find his niece (Natalie Wood) who was captured by Indians as a young girl. The film was a major influence on Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver. In The Tall T a trio of killers matches wits with rancher Randolph Scott after they take him and two newlyweds hostage while planning a stagecoach holdup. Based on an Elmore Leonard story. Saturday, January 12 DOUBLE FEATURE 7p: The Gunfighter (Henry King, 1950). 84 mins. 8:35p: The Plainsman (Cecil B. Demille, 1936). 113 mins. Gregory Peck stars in The Gunfighter as Jimmy Ringo, the “fastest gun in the west” who wants to put his past behind him yet faces those who want his title at every turn. Saturday, January 19 DOUBLE FEATURE 7p: Little Big Man (Arthur Penn, 1970). 139 mins. 9:30p: Broken Arrow (Delmer Daves, 1950). 93 mins. Upending almost every conceivable convention of westerns, Little Big Man stars Dustin Hoffman as a 121-year-old man who reminisces about his adventurous life as a pioneer, an adopted Indian, a disgraced snake oil huckster, and a survivor of Custer’s Last Stand. Thursday, January 24 7p: Rio Bravo (Howard Hawks, 1959). 141 mins. John Wayne stars as the sheriff of a Texas border

town who recruits three men - drunken Dean Martin, cocky Ricky Nelson, and crotchety Walter Brennan - to help him guard a jailed killer until the U.S. Marshall arrives. Thursday, January 31 DOUBLE FEATURE 7p: The Naked Spur (Anthony Mann, 1953). 91 mins. 8:40p: Trail of the Vigilantes (Allan Dwan, 1940). 75 mins. The Naked Spur stars Jimmy Stewart as an obsessed bounty hunter bent on bringing in killer Robert Ryan in order to collect the money to buy back his lost spread. Margo Victor The Rotten Riotous West (2006) Wed, Jan 2 - Thu, Jan 31, 2008 @ The Box: This month’s program complements our series of classic westerns with an entirely different take on the genre. The Rotten Riotous West (2006) by experimental filmmaker Margo Victor from Los Angeles turns the conventions of the western upside down by featuring lesbian supermodel-turned-actress Jenny Shimizu as a gun-slinging cowboy facing an unseen opponent. (6 mins., 24 secs.; 16mm film transferred to video) Victor lives and works in Los Angeles and received her BFA from the California Institute of the Arts. Her work has been exhibited at Kunstlerhaus Stuttgart and Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam, and in group shows in Los Angeles and New York. Earlier this year she had her first solo exhibition of paintings and film at Venetia Kapernekas Gallery, New York.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 19

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

20 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

INTERVIEW

In the Loop with Kim Coles

by Gregg Shapiro

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

Oprah better watch her back. A new daytime talk show with a national reach has arrived in Chicago and has the potential to give the queen a run for her crown. In The Loop with iVillage relocated to Chicago from Orlando in Sept. 2007 and has settled in at NBC. In addition to covering a broad range of topics, from kitchen to coochie, over the course of the hour-long live gab fest, In The Loop with iVillage has also gained a reputation for treating its studio audiences like royalty, often loading them down with goods to go. Of course, a show such as this would be nothing without hot hosts, and In The Loop with iVillage can claim that as well. Apprentice hunk Bill Rancic heats up the set, while fellow Apprentice Ereka Vetrini supplies the perky factor. But there’s no question that it’s Kim Coles, whose combination of humor and humanity, is the great big beating heart of the show. After trading tips on New Balance shoes (we both love our 992s), we got down to business in between bites of lunch. Gregg Shapiro: How is Chicago treating you so far? Kim Coles: I love Chicago. Chicago is treating me great! GS: Had you been here before? KC: I’ve been here before, but never longer than two or three days at a time. And certainly never to live. The people are so warm and friendly and genuine. I’m not saying that L.A. people aren’t friendly or genuine, but usually they want something from you if they are being warm, genuine or friendly. But Chicago’s spirit, the Midwestern spirit, is amazing. You saw it in the hallway (of the station, where a woman waved and shouted) “Hey!” I think that some it has to do with me being Kim Coles, but I think none of it has to do with me being Kim Coles. There’s just a genuine concern and care for people. People have been very helpful. If I say I need something – “Oh, I can introduce you to the guy who can get you the such and such from so and so.” There are a lot of connections that happen. GS: You are co-hosting In The Loop with iVillage with Bill Rancic and Ereka Vetrini. What has that experience been like for you? KC: It’s been a wonderful experience. For me, it’s been a culmination of all the things that I’ve ever learned. So it’s team spirit that I learned in the theater and when you’re doing a sitcom. It’s live interaction with an audience that I learned when I was a stand-up comedian. It’s life-experience that I’ve learned just from living on the earth. All those disciplines and wisdoms come together and I bring that with me to the show each day. GS: The show has some fascinating segments, including one on cooking. Do you like to cook? KC: No. I’m learning a lot. I take some of the recipes home. And when I get up the nerve, I get them done. I’m loving it because part of loving cooking is being around it all the time and knowing what to do. I’m learning what to do in a new and wonderful way. There was a simple whitefish with a spinach sauté that I made and it was just divine. I went and bought the kind of oil that the guy used and I followed the recipe to the letter and it came out fantastic. GS: There is also a (women’s health oriented) segment titled “What’s Up Down There?” KC: (laughs) GS: Has that also been a learning experience for you as well? KC: It is a learning experience. I’m one of those people who are very doctor friendly. I have lots of doctors and experts for different things. If I break a nail, I go to the doctor. I love health information and I love that we’re giving the information away in a way that’s sort of informative, but we have a sense of humor about things. We keep it light, so that there’s nothing too heavy. And even if the information is se-

rious, we’re delivering it in a way that is with love and concern and to give you another take on things that is not just out of a medical book. GS: Do you think that doing a talk show in Chicago, home of Oprah Winfrey, works in your favor or works against you? KC: I feel that it works in my favor. Listen, nobody does it better than Oprah, so it’s wonderful to be in her backyard and to be swept up in this. She’s had success and she’s good luck. Also, because there hasn’t been a talk show launched from here in a long time…you’ve got Steve Wilkos and Jerry Springer, but they’re a different kind of show. You haven’t seen a lifestyle type show launched in a while, and in particular from Chicago, so it feels like people here are open to it and warm to it. GS: They’re also old pros at this because they’re used to going to talk shows since the days of Phil Donahue. KC: Right. We have a lady who comes to the audience every day – not to dis Oprah in any way – but she says that she enjoys coming here because we have giveaways almost every day. On the Oprah show you have to wait for “Oprah’s Favorite Things,” and we have “favorite things” almost every day. They might be smaller, we’re not giving away cars or redoing people’s houses yet, but we are giving away DVDs and toys for the kids. So you can come here and have some fun. So it feels good to be in her backyard. GS: Would you say that cohosting on The View and hosting the Real Gay show on Logo, which featured interviews with the LGBT cast members of reality shows, prepared you to co-host In The Loop with iVillage? KC: Yeah. I actually had a talk show deal for a while that we did some test shows for but they never went anywhere. I thought that I would lead into this area before but when that got stomped on, I

thought, “Oh, never again,” and the Logo channel called me and it was great. I got an opportunity to interview all of these great people and I was sort of the center of it and I was making them look good. GS: You looked like you were having a good time. KC: I was having a great time and learning a lot. So, I thought, I can do this. I’ve had several opportunities in my career where I could dabble in it. I also co-hosted a show with Tom Bergeron back in the day called Fox After Breakfast. It was a show very much like this, done in New York, in a loft space in the `90s. So I’ve had a chance to dabble in it enough to know that I would like this. GS: Speaking of Real Gay, would you say doing that show earned you extra points in the GLBT community? KC: (laughs) I think that I’m gay friendly. I know I am. I live in the middle of West Hollywood, I live in the middle of Boystown. I have lots of gay husbands (laughs). I hope that that brought me in even more. I participate in charities for the GLBT community. GS: Have you always been aware of a gay following? KC: Maybe because I live in the neighborhood, I’m aware that the following is there. I also know that that community usually embraces women that are funny and divaesque, especially if you are a woman of color. I’ve always known that I’ve been embraced and hope to continue to be. GS: Are there any plans to have any of your former Living Single costars, such as Queen Latifah or Kim Fields, make a guest appearance on In The Loop with iVillage? KC: I hope so! Once they have a project, once they’re on their way through Chicago, I’m sure they’ll all come through. In fact, T.C. Carson, one of my castmates is from Chicago. I’m certain that he’ll come through one day and sing or something. So they all have an open invitation.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 21

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

22 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

CLASSIFIEDS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY FLORAL BUSINESS 70-year-old family-run floral business for sale. Established clients, great location. Please call Mary McCarthy at Sunbelt Business Brokers, 614.734.8338, for more information. HELP WANTED DENTIST We seek personable, quality-oriented associate for busy family practice. Daily salary. Dr. Michael Mann, 7043 Pearl Rd, Ste 210, Cleveland, OH 44130. PART-TIME WORK ESCORTING Male to male. Must have car and phone number. 614.448.0198. SEEKING TALENTED COSMETOLOGISTS Positive environment, competitive commissions, flexible schedules. Email salonjob@yahoo.com for more information. HOUSING/FOR RENT OLDE TOWNE EAST Spacious 2BR Duplex in Olde Towne East; 363 Berkeley Rd. Corner of Bryden/ Berkeley Rd, near Franklin Park, between Downtown and Bexley. A marble-tiled decorative fireplace and brushed nickel wall sconces welcome you to the huge living room. With hardwood floors throughout, one of the large bedrooms boasts a walk-in closet, and the other has 2 separate deep closets. More marble in the bathroom, and the

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

kitchen/pantry has plenty of cabinets, new counters, dishwasher, and appliances. Washer/dryer and AC included, Off-street parking. $485/month. Call Josh Martin @ 614.657.2366 for a showing. OLDE TOWNE EAST 1096 & 1104 Bryden Rd, 1 BR apartments available, new kitchen, wd flrs, vaulted ceiling, $450/mo. More OTE rentals available. Call Beacon Property Mgmt. at 614.228.6700. SCHUMACHER PLACE 489 Stanley Ave. This 2 bdrm exudes charm & character, yet is nicely updated for modern living. Huge fully applianced kit w/ tons of cabinets, ceramic tile & island, plus a great sunroom. Distressed wood floors down, new wood floors up, bonus room/den off master bedroom, 1st floor laundry, & so much more! $895/mo – Jeff Wood – Coldwell Banker King Thompson – 614.324.8014.

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614.268.8525

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 23

PUCKER UP by Tristan Taormino

The Rise of MILFs and Mommies in Sexual-Fantasy Material No one has nailed down the origin of the acronym MILF (“Mom I’d Like to Fuck”), although American Pie is credited with popularizing the term, which is most closely associated with teenage boys lusting for a friend’s hot mom. In the past several years, the adult industry has grabbed onto the phenomenon, and MILF porn has become a viable niche. On the Adult Video News (avn.com) bestselling DVD chart for October 2007, there are 13 MILF movies, including It’s a Mommy Thing; Wife, Mother, Whore; and I Scored a Soccer Mom 2. They make up less than 15 percent of the titles listed, but in such a crowded field, that is significant. In fact, AVN.com now devotes an entire monthly sales chart just to MILF titles. (Currently in the no. 16 slot is my favorite title: You’ve Got a Mother Thing Coming.) Although Wikipedia defines “MILF” as a descriptor for women ages 35 to 50, in porno land, women cast as MILFs can be as young as 25. After all, once you’ve reached that age, you’re usually on your way to being kicked to the curb by an industry obsessed with the Barely Legal set. Because of a demand for MILF porn, though, older performers are getting more work than ever before. (Some are first entering the biz at 35 and older.) The plots may be predictable and the dialogue cheesy, but it’s a refreshing change to see women with sexual confidence and maturity on-screen. At 48, Nina Hartley (nina.com) has made over 650 movies in her 28 years in porn. She says that after five years in the business, the amount of scenes she shot declined (typical for a female performer) - but when she hit 40,

there was a serious drop-off. However, in the past three years, she’s seen a dramatic spike in her workload, primarily thanks to the rise of MILFs. “I am happy to be part of this new demographic,” she says. “I have the opportunity to show that older women are sexy, and we are not giving up our sex lives.” She believes that a good part of the MILF appeal isn’t new: “Being taught by someone who knows what she is doing - the older-woman-as-sex-teacher - has always been a classic theme in porno. It just never had a name.” As Hartley points out, central to the typical MILF narrative is an age-play dynamic of older women and younger lovers. Porn is the place where our fantasies - however dark, base, or politically incorrect - come to life. If porn takes the pulse of America’s libido, if it’s a window onto our collective desires, then sexy moms may finally be taking their place alongside 18year-old cheerleaders as certified lust objects. Plus MILFs are not just a blue-movie niche market - there’s a larger MILF phenomenon out there that encourages women to embrace being motherly and sexy. But let’s take it one step further: Are mommies the new lust object? Other people’s moms certainly are; that’s usually what a MILF is. But could MILFs pave the way for other mommies, like the kind in mommy/boy and mommy/girl fantasy role-play, where the mommy is much closer to home? Could Mommy finally step out of the shadow of Daddy? Now I’m not just talking about porn. In s&m, queer culture, and fantasy role-play, “Daddy” is one of the most popular archetypes around. Search queer or kinky personals for the word

daddy, and you’ll have plenty of potential dates to choose from. There’s a level of comfort and familiarity with daddy play, which is not so much about eroticizing incest as it is creating a specific kind of dominant/submissive dynamic, where “masters” are drill sergeants and “daddies” are loving mentors. There are way more self-identified daddies - both male and female - than mommies in those communities. Why? Our love/lust for Daddy runs deep. If Freudians and other psychologists put on their thinking caps and leather chaps for a moment, they’d conclude that for gay men and straight women alike, Father was the first object of affection; thus, Daddy is an instinctual desire from childhood. The desire to be a daddy or have a daddy is deeply rooted in the psychodynamics of the family. If you grew up with an emotionally or physically distant dad or another kind of unavailable father, his absence can create a longing to bond and connect with Daddy. In theory, Mommy may have different qualities and a unique history compared to Daddy, but she’s just as significant a figure (if not actually more significant) in everyone’s life. No matter what your sexual orientation is, Mommy is every child’s first love, first object of devotion, and the center of its universe. We are often at our most vulnerable and needy with our mothers. It’s taboo to openly admit that we use sexual fantasy to work through our personal issues, to rewrite our family dynamics, and to heal broken relationships - but we do. So why do so many choose to do all that with Daddy? It can’t be that we’ve resolved all our

issues with Mommy. Is she too intimate, too strong, too powerful an archetype to play with, to embody, to desire? One reason for all the missing mommies could be a misogynist double standard at work. Daddy’s reign as top erotic role choice reflects a tendency not only to eroticize the father (and all the things he represents), but to empower him over the mother - the paternal as powerful and seductive, the maternal as meek, less desirable, and desexualized. It’s an interesting metaphor in the context of parenting roles in American society: Mommy does all the hard work, and Daddy gets all the glory. Also, when it’s a mommy/boy or mommy/girl dynamic, a female person (or persona) is the one in charge - and, for some, dominant women are still far more difficult to embrace than dominant men. There used to be some mommy play, both subtle and overt, on the site of Women Who Administer Punishment (a/k/a WHAP), a magazine dedicated to fem doms and spanking. Interestingly, now that the site no longer exists, it redirects to one called Humiliatrix.com. When it comes to female dominants, we seem to be more comfortable with ball-busting bitches than we are with nurturing caretakers. That’s the great thing about a mommy: She can be a gentle, loving mentor or a stern spank-you-over-her-knee disciplinarian. Mommy’s complex like that. So isn’t it about time that Mommy got her moment in the spotlight? Please visit Puckerup.com.

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

24 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 25

SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage

I’m 19, female, bisexual, and have been with the same guy for a year and things are great. I came home for Christmas and he went to his parents’ house, and I’ll see him in a few weeks. For Christmas, my mom got me some typical “mom” gifts - socks and underwear but the panties had Disney princesses on them. I feel like a pedophile just owning them! I get it: She doesn’t like the idea that I might be having sex, especially with the alarming rate that babies are popping out of teenage girls - but, come on. Holiday Blues Even if Mom was trying to send you a coded message - and I am not convinced that was her intent - you can turn the lemons of your mother’s disapproval into the lemonade of a good, safe, responsible sex life. So Mom is not happy about her daughter being sexually active - that’s too bad for Mom, right? Show Mom that her fears were misplaced by making sure you don’t get your 19-year-old ass knocked up or knocked around. As for feeling like a pedophile, HB, there’s nothing pedo about a 19-year-old bi chick in Disney-princess underpants. A little girl in those panties is innocent and darling. A sexually active 19-year-old in those panties is ironic and daring. (A quick poll of straight men - or man, as the sample size was small - also revealed that 100 percent consider 19-year-old bisexual girls in Disney panties “sexy as fucking hell.”) So when your boyfriend eats your pussy through a pair of your new Disney underpants - when he filters your vaginal secretions through an image of Jasmine or Ariel or Belle he will not only be helping you assert your right to sexual fulfillment despite your mother’s disapproval, HB, but helping you deconstruct a patriarchal heteronormative discourse that reifies female purity and holds up female undergarments as moral status markers. And when he services your clit, HB, the boyfriend will also

be servicing those princesses. His efforts will transform them into the fully sexual beings their corporate creators never intended them to be. To think your boyfriend can accomplish all of that - and strike a blow against repressive monarchical systems, too - just by eating your pussy while you wear your new panties, HB! And all you have to do is lie back, pull the stick out of your ass, and enjoy. I realize Savage Love is a sex-advice column (as evidenced by much vulgar language), but I’m going to ask anyway. (1) What is your definition of love? (2) How do you know if you’re in “love”? (3) How do you know if they’re the “one”? Anonymous (1) Love is making out with someone after you’ve blown a load on his/her face. (2) You know you’re in love when you’re eating breakfast in a restaurant together the morning after he/she blew a load on your face and you suddenly realize that you didn’t wash your face when you got out of bed that morning and you don’t care. (3) You know he/she is the one when he/she realizes that you’ve just realized that you’re eating breakfast in a restaurant the morning after he/she blew a load on your face and you didn’t wash your face when you got out of bed that morning and he/she smiles, leans over the table, and gives you a kiss. I am a 27-year-old straight male. My girlfriend and I are getting serious, but one issue stands between us and a bright future. It is an issue that literally causes me to lose sleep and it is starting to become destructive to our relationship. I have always been paranoid regarding the size of my penis. I know from research that, when erect, I am just slightly to the left of

the bell-curve peak. I thought I had learned to accept this. My renewed feeling of insecurity stems from a comment my girlfriend made in an attempt to offer me some reassurance about the size of my genitalia. In an attempt to alleviate my worries, my girlfriend observed that it sometimes hurts when a penis is “really huge.” She then let it slip that her ex-boyfriend of five years was famous in their high school due to “lockerroom gossip.” I remember from high school that the only boys who were the subject of locker-room gossip were the ones carrying around a third leg. Further buttressing my fears, my girlfriend confessed that the only time her ex-boyfriend’s penis hurt her was after having three or more encounters in a single day. On a separate note, my girlfriend likes really hard sex. I have had sex with over 30 women in my life and I have never run into a girl who likes sex as hard as she does. The harder I bring it, the more she likes it. (Admittedly, I like this aspect.) Unfortunately, I fear that I am not satisfying her due to her having once been accustomed to being roughly used by a man with a very large penis. I have more information that I believe contributes to my feeling that she wants a larger penis, but I would like to keep this reasonably short as I know you are a busy man. But my final thoughts are these: She says she is having the best sex of her life with me. I see two possible explanations for this assertion on her part: (1) She is telling the truth and really is having the best sex of her life with me; or (2) she is not satisfied and is lying to me and eventually our relationship will break down due to her lack of sexual satisfaction. If you are still reading this, then you have my sincere appreciation. All I seek is your blunt, objective opinion, however harsh it may be.

Long Insecure Man Pensive Oh my God, LIMP, shut up. Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. I cut your letter by four-fifths and it’s still fucking interminable. If you’ve managed to land a girlfriend who can put up with your florid rhetorical style - you don’t by chance own a comic-book shop in Springfield, do you? - you should count your blessings and suck up the angst about the size of your dick. I’m sorry, LIMP, but if your girlfriend’s assurances about the quality of your sex life and her preference for average-size cock isn’t enough to set you at ease, nothing I can say in this space is going to do the trick. I’m familiar with dudes like you - insecure bags of slop always harping away about the size of their dicks and there’s just no debuttressing your fears. Even if your girlfriend was a virgin when you met and yours was the only dick she’d ever laid thighs on, LIMP, you would still be paranoid. You would send me letters insisting that your girlfriend could never truly be satisfied with you, having never experienced the substantially more girthsome appendages of males lucky enough to be more impressively endowed blah blah blah. Stop obsessing about your dick, LIMP. Just stop. Your dick is your dick and obsessing about size only makes you miserable. And verbose. If size were all that mattered, Ron Jeremy would be People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” every fucking year instead of, you know, those mouse-dicked motherfuckers George Clooney and Matt Damon and Brad Pitt. If knowing your girlfriend used to be with a guy who had a huge dick - with him three or four times a day, for five long, pussy-punishing years - is more than your fragile ego can handle, do your girlfriend a favor and dump her now. Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net.

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

26 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

ABOUT TOWN

COLUMBUS IS FASHION SPOTLIGHT:

A platform for designers and owners of small boutiques, unique to the Columbus area, are being showcased at BoMA Bar of Modern Art on January 12. This is the first of an annual event that will allow small boutique vendors to show what they have to offer to Columbus; along with upcoming designers to display their creative talents with unique fashion designs. Ben Hanley, founder of the event, wants to put Columbus fashion on the map. “Columbus has much to offer in many cultural areas, but fashion, unique to our community, is an area where we can build awareness.” Through his contacts, both in the fashion and restaurant communities, Ben saw an opportunity to bring together an event that is a natural for Columbus, and BoMA the perfect spot to host the event. “This idea was the result of wanting to bring a fashion revolution to Columbus, merging fashion and nightlife with a big

city approach.” Ben has been to several events where vendors or designers were showcased, but felt something was always lacking. This event offers the “WOW” factor of variety and unique fashion lines, along with the fabulous ambiance that only a place like BoMA can offer. “We will have three boutiques and five new designers; everything from classic couture, urban couture, and everyday graphic apparel; with 14 models originating from Los Angeles, New York, France, Morocco, and of course, Columbus.” The showcase includes Choonamils, Industry Standard, Jwork Ltd., Milk Bar, N’Threads, Red Planet X, Revamp by Barb Wallace, Phenology. Tickets for $25 will include two complimentary cocktails, or can upgrade to a $50 ticket for seating at a VIP table. People wishing something a little more special can purchase a group VIP table; seating 5, including BoMA 4Star hor d’ouevres, a bot-

tle of champagne, exclusive cocktail service, and free valet parking for the event. VIP tables are $250. Sponsor levels are $250, $500, and $1500. Sponsor levels include; yet not limited to, tickets to the event, a sponsor area for patrons to visit, an ad in the program, plus the top level includes a VIP table to further the “face” value of a sponsor’s donations. If you are interested in sponsor information – contact Ben Hanley at 614.226.4614 or visit our website at www.columbusisfashion.com. Because of a personal history in his family with heart disease, 5% of the net proceeds raised from this event will be donated to The Richard M Heart Hospital at The Ohio State University. Tickets to the event can be purchased at any of the vendors listed above, on the web site at www.columbusisfashion.com, or through www.groovetickets.com.

COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: JAN 9, 6P-8P;; LOCATION: DOWNTOWN CONNECTION ; SPEAKER: KARLA ROTHAN FROM STONEWALL • WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 27

fin

THE LAST WORD by Jennifer Vanasco

RESOLUTIONS Every year, with determination, I do NOT make resolutions. I don’t believe in them, I say airily. Why make a promise when I won’t keep it? After all, I don’t really know of anyone who does. But this year I’ve changed my mind. Because I think I’ve figured out the trouble with resolutions. The biggest problem, I think, is that resolutions are usually focused on something we really don’t want to do, which is why we wait til the New Year to announce that we’re doing them. After all, no one resolves to eat more French fries or sleep in till the last possible moment before work. No, we resolve to stop smoking, stop eating, work out vigorously, and clean out the closet that we’ve been avoiding so long that we can’t remember what color it’s painted. We’re going to stop dating the wrong types of woman, or give up goofy novels and get to War and Peace. We’re going to walk to work every day, even when it’s 25 degrees and the sky is heavy with that chilling combination of snow and ice and rain that I call snush. We’re going to go back to church, meditate every day, speak only kind words about everyone we meet, and think only

nice thoughts. We’re going to do only those things that are good for our brains, our bodies, our hearts, our souls. But somehow those good things always seem to deprive us of our very favorite pleasures. Resolutions are always about STOP or NO or YOU CAN NEVER, NEVER HAVE THAT EVER AGAIN or DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING THAT, BUSTER. But maybe resolutions should be about yes, instead. Maybe resolutions should give us the permission we need to do the things we really want to do, as opposed to doing the things we think we ought to do. Because sometimes we feel like we need permission, right? We want our gay fairy godmother to swoop out of the sky with a clack of heels and a tasteful, sparkling wand and whisper in our ears, “You know, dear, I think you really should take that trip to Paris. And sign up for that tango class you’ve been thinking about. And approach that darling man in the next cubicle for a drink – because he’s been eyeing you, too.” So think of me as your gay fairy godmother and let’s make some resolutions together. For example, resolving to be a nicer person probably won’t work – but resolving to be nicer to

yourself? You can do that. Go get a massage. Right now. I’ll wait. You feel better already, right? You’re now all set to tackle that big project at work. Or, OK, maybe you’re not quite ready to tackle that project at work, but at least you feel darned good. When you say yes to resolutions, you give yourself permission to do stuff you really want to do – stuff that can relate somehow, at least tangentially, with bigger, more amorphous goals. For example, losing weight, going to the gym every single day or not eating any more sugar or transfats all sound like chores. You can resolve to “lose weight” but you probably won’t. Or you won’t keep it off. But maybe you’ve been wanting to get better at tennis. Voila! You can sign up for a weekly tennis class! Or maybe you’ve yearned to get back into skiing, or horseback riding, or roller-skating, or whatever. Think about what you should do – and then think about something that relates to it that you really want to do, and resolve to do that. Me, I want to dance more. I love dancing and I don’t do it nearly enough. So my “lose

weight” resolution is actually a resolution to let myself dance whenever I feel like going, whether or not I can get other people to go with me – and if that means dancing naked in my bedroom, well, I know I’ll enjoy it. I give myself permission to dance – in fact, I HAVE to dance, because I’ve resolved to do it! Once I started saying yes to resolutions, I found myself flooded with them. The thought of going on more first dates is disheartening – so I won’t resolve to date more. I’ll resolve to kiss more girls. And “eating healthy” sounds awful. That’s OK – instead, I’ll resolve to eat fresh tomatoes whenever I can get them, and cook more whole artichokes and learn to make homemade multi-grain bread. Yum. So now, instead of avoiding resolutions, I LOVE resolutions Because a “resolution” can be just another way of giving yourself permission to be happy. And that’s a New Year’s resolution we should all make. Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning, syndicated columnist. Email her at jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com. She blogs daily (more or less) has a weekly video blog on the gay political site www.visiblevote08.com.

HOROSCOPES by Jack Fertig

CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan 19): Happy birthday? Ha! At your age, you should be richer and better established in your community. Not really, but we all feel that way sometimes. Give yourself full credit, surround yourself with friends, but do economize sensibly!

ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): Worries about social obligations can make you uncertain about your goals and your standing. Accept that as an opportunity to seek counsel and to make adjustments. Remaining clear with your friends while you change tack can be hard, but it’s necessary!

CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): Feeling tested by colleagues at work is all right if you rise to the challenge and prove yourself through competency and dedication. Avoid lowering yourself when baited, or throwing back attitude, no matter how much of it you’re getting to start with. Be professional!

LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Questions of familial structure make you wonder about your own status, perhaps even about where your loyalties should lie. Some simple fun and games should lighten things up and help you see where you do stand.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): Keeping a journal would help provide keen insight. If you find that dull and tedious, keep a journal as a fictitious character. Even that will reveal some deep inner truth.

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): You live very much in the real world, but realms within and beyond are tugging at your attention. You need time out from your routines to reassess your career path and to remember that work serves larger goals - which would be...?

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): Accept any criticism graciously (no matter how stupid it is!), and be very reserved about offering your own. Agree to disagree and otherwise avoid petty controversies. Try to delay important debates. Arguments now just sow trouble and confusion.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Yes, you need to focus on details now, but stay mindful about how the parts relate to the whole. Family wisdom, or Wiccan-style goddess traditions, can help you keep perspective, seeing the forest along with the trees.

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 19): Politics, or just entertaining friends, can be an expensive hobby. Getting involved - perhaps with your pals - in some volunteer work will be cheap and effective. For bargain entertainment, churches and synagogues often have secular concerts and programs.

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20): You could strut around, enjoying and exploiting your heightened erotic charisma - but is that all there is, my dear? Explore new realms in art and music to add further depth to your pleasures.

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22): You have brilliant opportunities for playful adventure. Some risks may be necessary, but many can be avoided. Don’t get suckered into druggy or otherwise unsafe situations. You’ll have more fun if you keep a clear head and take sensible precautions.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 20): Don’t let money problems upset you. You are a champion problem-solver. Listen to advice from a friend. Don’t follow it, but consider it a step toward figuring out an approach that neither of you would have come up with alone.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.

JAN 10 - JAN 16 2008