05.22.08 Outlook Weekly - Festival Time! by Outlook Weekly

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IES R F UT • O S COME N O M I RLY S COLUMBUS FESTIVAL PREVIEW • CA

2 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR / PHOTOS Robert Trautman traut@outlookmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mette Bach, Danielle Buckius, Wayne R Besen, Chris Crain, Jennifer Vanasco, Tom Moon, Regina Sewell, Leslie Robinson, Gregg Shapiro, Mick Weems, Julianne French, TF Barton, Romeo San Vicente, Jeff Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Tristan Taormino, Dennis Vanke, Mario Pinardi, Rick Kramer, Aaron Drake, Jennie Keplar, Scott Varner, Derrik Chinn, Dan Savage, Felice Newman, Tim Curran, Chris Hughes, Stephen J Fallon, Felice Newman, J. Eric Peters, Crystal Hawkins, Brent Wilder, Matthew Burlingame, Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Matthew Veritas Tsien, Cheri Meyers

BUSINESS & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels mdaniels@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 ADVERTISING DEADLINE Each Wednesday 8 days prior to publication. Call us at 614.268.8525.

SNAPSHOT WILL SHAVE FOR FOOD Mustachioed Huntington Bank teller Anthony Salamon has a naked lip, thanks to hundreds of donors who contributed $1,153.76 to Operation Feed as part of the Short North branch's food drive efforts. "Two years ago, our record as $8.50," said Anthony. "So when I was put in charge of this year's efforts, I knew we needed a dynamic project to get a dynamic response. I can't thank the community enough. People who work here and live here in the Short North gave and gave. Corporate folks wrote big checks, and folks who live day to day would come in and withdraw 75 cents from their accounts just to contribute. It just speaks volumes about this community and the people who comprise it." Kudos to Anthony and the entire Short North Huntington staff! Oh, and we don't expect Anthony to remain shorn for long, so if you want to see his lip, get into the branch at 662 N High St soon! Photos by Traut. Over 125 networkers packed BoMA for Network Columbus on May 14, and were treated to great food, drink, and insight from Kelly Austin of the Sandler Sales Institute. Photos by Traut.

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READERSHIP: 210,000 PEOPLE / MONTH Outlook Weekly is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. every Thursday throughout Ohio. Outlook Weekly is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over copies of Outlook Weekly with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in Outlook Weekly are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. Outlook Weekly does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2008 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008 VOLUME 12 NUMBER 47

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

North Market Apron Gala was a huge success, many people came out to enjoy all the amazing food with friends and have a good time. Though not everyone took the unique chance to where a dazzling apron. Photos by Chris Hayes

SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........3 LETTERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........4 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........6 INSIGHT OUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........8 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......11 COMMENTARY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..13,20 FEATURE: FESTIVAL PREVIEW . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .16-20 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......22 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......22 MUSIC : CARLY SIMON . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......24 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......25 FILM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......27 SEX TALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......28 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......29 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 NEXT WEEK: URBAN LIVING

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 3

ABOUT TOWN by Chris Hayes THURSDAYS, MAY 22 WHAT’S THAT NOISE? OutLoud Drag Show @ The Ohio State University – Mansfield, Founders Hall, Mansfield Campus: A drag show in Mansfield! Who would have guessed? Come out and support Out Loud, Mansfield campus’ GLBT student organization and see a great drag show at the same time. The show will be in the Founders Auditorium on the campus of OSU – Mansfield. Admission proceeds are split with Harmony House, a local shelter that supports many homeless GLBT youth. 7p; $2. IS THAT FRENCH ROAST? Pull Up a Step and Have a Cup of Joe @ The Ohio Historical Center Echoes in Time Theater, I-71 and 17th Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: The year is 1933: the stock market is down; prices are up; the housing market has gone south; and Mildred Wagoner’s husband is out of job. Pull up a step in front of the row house apartment where Mildred lives with her husband and newly moved-in, brother-in-law and his wife. Listen to Mildred as she drinks her coffee and catches you up on the latest news and gossip of the neighborhood. Today, May 22, &29. 7p & 8p; $7. BUT I’M BROKE!? Art Collecting on a Budget @ The Capital Club in the Huntington Center, 41 S High St, www.columbusmetroclub.org, www.ypcolumbus.org: CMCp.m. Series continues tonight with a program on how to start your art collection when your just starting out. Sponsored by: Columbus Metropolitan Club, Young Professionals of Columbus & Capital Club Young Ex Board. Special post reception will be hosted at the OSU Urban Arts Space (50 West Town St). 5p-7p; $5 for members of CMC, YPC, or Capital Club Young Ex. Board, $10 for guest and the public YOU LIKE THE METS? Brooklyn Boy @ JCC’s Gallery Players Stage, 614.559.6248, www.jccgalleryplayers.org: A drama written by Donald Margulies, is a story about what happens when the marginally successful writing career of middle-aged author begins to take off with the publication of his novel, “Brooklyn Boy.” Director John Dranschak said the play is not just about Brooklyn. “It’s about a father and a son, it’s about friendship, it’s about culture, and it’s about tradition. But mostly it’s about home – about who and what we use to define that concept and the ways in which our definition ends up defining us,” he said. May 22 & 29 7:30p; May 31 8p, and May 25 and June 1 2:30p. $10-$12. FRIDAY, MAY 23 STOP IN THE NAME OF SHOW… Showstoppers @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, clubdiversity.com: Head to your home on the south side as Bobby Hamlin headlines this SHOWSTOPPERS fundraiser to benefit Project Open Hand (cabaret). 8p; free. POWER STRUGGLE Paul Shambroom: Picturing Power @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, columbusmuseum.org: Shambroom, who lives and works in Minneapolis, has made an indelible mark on the landscapes of photography and political discourse. His series-based color photographs reveal both local and global manifestations of power, depicting scenes in industrial, business, community, and military environments. The exhibition Paul Shambroom: Picturing Power, is the first to bring together selections from all five of Shambroom’s most important – and highly acclaimed – series to date: Factories (1986-1988), Offices (1989-1990), Nuclear Weapons

(1992 – 2001), Meetings (1999 – 2003), and Security (2004 – current). Tue-Sat 10a-5:30p, Thu till 8:30p $5-$8. SUNDAY, MAY 25 EH BATTER BATTER BATTER Women’s Baseball Tryouts @ Columbus JCC Field, 1125 College Ave, 43209, www.columbuswbl.com: Columbus now has women’s baseball. Do you want to be a part? Tryouts are today to fill its first two teamsThe Columbus Jetstreams and East Side Pride. Bring yourself, maybe a glove and a love of stadium nuts to the fields and be a part of history. 9a; free. BEARS DON’T WHERE WHITE AFTER MEMORIAL DAY Broadway Bears and The White Party @ Union Bar+Food, 782 N High St, 614.421.CAFE (2233), columbusnightlife.com: Dress in white and hang out on the patio. Drink. Then buy a themed designed bear while listening to showtunes at this fundraiser benefiting C.U.B. It’s bearlicious. 6p; free. DON’T CALL ME DOROTHY 10th Annual Oz @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusnightlife.com: The Global Groove tour returns to Cbus. Tonight’s treats include a free CD, DJ Alan Saunders and a hot spot by Nina West. 10p; $5. YOU CAN LAUGH IF YOU WANT TO Sunday Night Live @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Our own gay comedy troupe returns for a night of sketch comedy, music and a little drag. Doors 8p; show 9p, cover. TUESDAY, MAY 27 I – 69…WHO DOESN’T Drag BINGO @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th St, 614.849.0099, scorebarcolumbus.com and @ Slammers 202 E Long St, 614.221.8880: Viva Velure and Anisa Love hosts this night of dropping balls and prizes. 7p; free. WEDNESDAY, MAY 28 I WANT A NEW DRUG Speed Dating @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th St, 614.849.0099, scorebarcolumbus.com and @ Slammers 202 E Long St, 614.221.8880: Looking for a healthy dose of speed? Need a date for Pride? Want to stop hate crimes? Join BRAVO and the Human Rights Campaign for same sex speed dating tonight. Men at Score Bar, women at Slammers. 7:30p-9p; $10. GET LINKED LinkOUT General Body Meeting @ Bristol Bar, 132 E 5th Ave: Calling all LGBT Young Professional of Central Ohio. Please be sure to join LinkOUT today for a wonderful evening of cocktails and updates. Feel free to bring friends as well! 6:30p; free. THURSDAY, MAY 29 GRAB YOUR MANOLO BLAHNIKS Sex and the City Premier Parties & Midnight Movie @ Landmark Gateway Cinemas, 1550 N High St (btw 9th & 11th) 614.545.2255, www.gatewaytheater.com: Don’t break a heel as you run to his premier. Buy the Premier Party Package which includes: Carrie’s Pink Cupcakes, Sex and the City Prize Giveaways, Shoes, Purses & Jewelry...Oh My! Live Music & Cash Bar Premier Party & Movie Ticket is ONLY $10 per person ($8.50 for movie ticket only). Purchase your Premier Party Package by calling (614) 545-2255 (ext. 5)Tickets are also available at the Landmark’s Gateway Theater Box Office MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

4 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

LETTERS THE JOB GAME To the Editor: I sometimes wonder what enters the minds of those reading my letters of interest pursuant to a variety of jobs here in my quaint capital city. At first, I was timid. Time often emboldens us in strengthening our resolve, regardless of issue or circumstance. For me, it was all about the disclosure of my transgendered ‘status’. The logic is as follows: If I illustrate openness and honesty (not to mention confidence), wouldn’t an employer be drawn to such a candidate? Conversely, I can withhold and later espouse a little surprise attack upon walking into the room for the interview. Knowing how an overwhelming majority of obnoxious proportion can’t begin to wrap their arms around such an ‘issue’, why spring this on them to start? I rhetorically ask not in light of consideration for the interviewer’s freak-out quotient; rather, it’s become a matter of saving time ... especially for me. I still derive amusement from those reacting as if they’d seen a ghost ... or that one had corresponded with them. Moreover, I make it a point to apply for positions whereby I’m either at-level or more-than-obviously overqualified. Sometimes, to get anywhere in this twisted world, one must make concessions - in my case, it’s all about a probable salary decrease. I’m accepting of that, largely, because money isn’t everything and what I’m attempting to overcome outweighs any monetary gain. Funny, still, is how prospective employers can’t (or won’t) allow themselves to marry a qualified resume with an open, direct cover letter. Take note: It’s amazing that people, generally speaking, not only embrace but often go out of their way to see and experience diversity and difference in the animal world. Isn’t this why zoos stay in business? We as a people love the seemingly endless variety of species. We celebrate and welcome them as part of the household; we can’t get enough and thirst to know and experience

more types of birds, fish, cats, insects and reptiles to the point of bestowing television airtime upon them found in endless documentaries and the like... yet, when using the word ‘types’ as it applies to people, our dark-ages nation makes it a point to single-out those who aren’t ‘exactly like the masses’. I don’t care for snakes nor spiders one single bit... but I no less appreciate the unique nature of what they are. Bare in mind, upon your pursuit of employment, you just may be faced with Johnny Vanilla giving the approval or denial... and I sometimes wonder how these people function in everyday society with seemingly no well-rounding experiences or cultural exposures. Strength. Fortitude. Conviction. Focus. Rochelle Evans Columbus, OH

A HOMOSEXUAL HAS A QUESTION FOR THE MORMON POLYGAMISTS To the Editor: There is something that Americans should think about when hearing about the events in Texas, where a polygamist church group has had their children taken away and they have all been accused of being child molesters. We are told that the government raided the homes because of a phone call from some 16year-old girl, still not found, claiming that she and others were being abused. In the news this month is the report of the death of Mrs. Loving, a black woman who, with her white husband, was arrested and forced to leave the state (Virginia, the state for lovers, I think they say) because that state, like many, had a law against interracial marriage - a law supported by probably 80% of Americans at the time. They were arrested in their bedroom because some unknown person had called the police re-

porting them living together. It should be a cautionary tale to Americans, especially bigots, that the result of this arrest was not the end of interracial marriage, but the end of the laws against such marriages. Public opinion followed, the law changed and today the majority of Americans don’t believe in the government telling people who they can marry. Then there is another legal case that started with an anonymous phone call reporting two men having sex together in the privacy of their home. They were arrested under the sodomy laws - laws that existed in all states in the mid 20th century and again, the bigots should take care, as the result of the arrest was NOT the end of sodomy law violations, but the end of all sodomy laws. Now we don’t know how the arrests of the polygamists will turnout, but it is possible they and we should think of the above two cases and not only ask where that anonymous 16-year-old girl is, but how all polygamists can be accused of being child molesters. And all have their children taken from them and spread, deliberately all over Texas, making it impossible for parents to be with all of their children. One other interesting part of this news media event is that when the public started losing interest in news coverage and started questioning the actions of law enforcement agents, suddenly we are told the one thing guaranteed to get support and attention- and that is that “perhaps” the boys were being molested. Now, the question is, do religious people who are being accused, all of them, of being child molesters, and having their children taken away from them, see any reason to think that perhaps their civil rights being violated might be like the civil rights of others being violated, including homosexuals?

The Reader Poll Last week we asked:

What’s your favorite fair food? Corn Dogs 28% Fair Fries 22% Elephant Ears 11% Lemon Shake-Ups 11% Sugar Waffle/Funnel Cake 11% Cheese on a Stick 5.5% Turkey Leg/Drumstick 5.5% Corn-Fed Farm Boy 5.5% Hot Italian Sausage 5.5% Pizza 5.5% NONE - Don’t Attend! 5.5%

NEXT WEEK’S QUESTION:

Billy Glover Co-founder/Vice Chair The Homosexual Information Center Bossier City, LA

What do you think should become of City Center ?

Got something to say? We want to hear from you!

Log on to: www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.

Email us at editor@outlookmedia.com or logon to www.outlookweekly.net.

28 SO U RC

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

E : CNN-GALLU

CATEGORY

NOV 2 ’04

MAY 19 ’08

DIFFERENCE

AMERICAN DEAD

1,122

4,077

2,955

AMERICAN WOUNDED

8,124

30,004

21,880

IRAQI CIVILIAN DEAD

16,342

91,094

NATIONAL DEBT

$7,429,629,954,236

$9,364,554,673,553

DAYS ‘TIL 2008 ELECTION

1,463

169

74,752 $1,934,924,719,317 (1,294)

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 5

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

6 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

COMMUNITY CORNER ERIC KOHRING/PFLAG SCHOLARSHIP WINNER CHOSEN The GLBT/OSU Alumni Association Scholarship selection committee was blessed with outstanding applicants this year. The committee chose Anthony Weston, a freshman majoring in Biochemistry as the 2008-2009 Eric Kohring/PFLAG Scholarship recipient. Mindful of Eric Kohring’s goal of providing financial assistance to enable a student to serve more actively in the gay community, the committee members were impressed that Anthony was instrumental in starting a gay straight alliance during his senior year in high school. At Ohio State, he has participated in the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and was elected Secretary starting next fall. He also participates in OSETM (Out in Science, Engineering, Technology and Math) as well as a new group on campus presently called GLBT First Year Cohort. Anthony’s plans for additional service to the GLBT community include examining further ways to reach out to straight allies on the campus and returning to his former high school to speak with teachers individually about ways to support young GLBT students. He plans to contact the multicultural center for guidance. Anthony also plans to attend the August PFLAG meeting.

PRIDE FUNDRAISER: PINK PARTY - MEET LESLIE JORDAN Leslie Jordan is in town! Meet him at this special, once-in-a-lifetime Pride Fundraiser at Stonewall Columbus. Wear your favorite Pink Apparel and Pink Accessories and share some laughs with Leslie as he is in town to promote his new book and his stage show: My Trip Down The Pink Carpet (which makes its only Ohio stop at the Southern Theatre for one night only on Monday, June 16 at 8p; see: www.thelesliejordan.com).The Pink Party event is at @ The Center on High Studio One, 1160 N. High Street, Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 8p. Cost: $25 (Includes Food and Drinks).

JANET JACKSON NAMED PRIDE PARADE GRAND MARSHAL Janet E. Jackson, President and CEO of United Way of Central Ohio, has officially accepted the offer to serve as Grand Marshal of the 2008 Pride Parade. “I am humbled and thrilled to serve as this year’s Grand Marshal,” remarked Jackson. Stonewall Executive Director Karla Rothan added, “Janet Jackson has been a champion for our community and we are eternally grateful to her for her support. The greatest way we can thank her is to name her Grand Marshal of this year’s Pride Celebration.” Under Jackson’s leadership, United Way is advancing the common good by creating opportunities for a better life for all. She is dedicated to setting MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

and achieving concrete goals that address the root causes of problems and helping people achieve the building blocks for a better life: a quality education that leads to a productive career, income that can support a family through retirement, good health and a safe place to live. Prior to coming to United Way, Janet served six years as Columbus City Attorney and nearly 10 years as a judge on the Franklin County Municipal Court. Her honors and awards include The Woman of Achievement Award from the YWCA of Columbus, the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Humanitarian Award from the Columbus Education Association, and the Wittenberg Alumni Citation Award, which recognizes those who have brought honor to Wittenberg through exceptional accomplishments in which service to humanity is placed ahead of personal gain or recognition. Jackson received her bachelor of arts from Wittenberg in 1975. Jackson was inducted into the Ohio Women’s Hall of Fame in 2001. In 2008, she was named an “ally” by Equality Ohio for her lifetime support of equality. Janet currently serves as vice chair of the Central Ohio Workforce Investment Board and as a member of the boards of the Columbus Coalition Against Family Violence and The Center for Child and Family Advocacy. Please join Stonewall this year at the Pride Brunch on Sunday, June 29, as we honor Janet Jackson as this year’s Grand Marshal.

SPORTS

Front Row (kneeling L to R): Jim Pun, Paul Betts, Kiersten Turos, Michael Davis, Udo Schmidt-Sinns, Clay Irwin, and Michelle Horn. Back Row (standing L to R): Kurt Knazek, Matthew Betts, Michael Hicks, Eric Caridas, Doug Massey, Bob Aspel, Bill Thompson, Forest Edwards, Ryan Jones, Mark Miller, Uwe Scharffy. Not Pictured: Michael Asher

MAYHEM WINS CHAMPIONSHIP BY GROUNDING NETJETS By Michael Davis, GHO Vice President

The Ohio Mayhem completed its unbelievable playoff run with a 4-0 victory over the NetJets in front of a standing room only crowd at the Chiller Ice Rink in Dublin, Ohio. With the shutout victory the Mayhem earned their first CAHL Championship in team history! As usual the NetJets’ fans showed up in full force, but the Mayhem fans were not to be outdone. They showed up in bigger numbers and were able to drown out the NetJets fan base. Mayhem fans showed up with their faces painted, signs in hand, SHORT NORTH MERCHANT and chanted “Let’s go Mayhem” for three periods of exciting hockey. And their team did not let them SEEKS LEAD ON VANDALISM down. For the past 6 Once again Forest “Houdini” Edwards started the months the Grandview scoring early. Forest’s shot trickled across the goal Mercantile has had sevline just :34 seconds into the game. The goal was eral windows and some unassisted. It was the only goal of a very exciting planters destroyed. first period. There were no penalties in the first peEach pane costs over riod either. $1,500 to replace. To The second period saw the play get more physidate 18 panes have cal. At 7:48 of the second period, Michael “Quiet been destroyed, includMan” Davis received a tripping call when he slid to ing eight within the last break up a scoring chance by Matt Larimore. Larimonth. Police suspect the perpetrators are using a BB gun in is a drive-by more went down, but received a penalty of his own when tomahawk chopped Davis’ stick out of his scenario. Grandview, with the help of community friends, is hands. Two minutes later the NetJets were called for offering a $5,000 reward for information leading to another penalty when Chris Counahan was sent to the sin bin for elbowing. Counahan was getting very the arrest and conviction of the perpetrators. If you frustrated by the excellent defensive play by the have info, please contact at 614.560.9753 Mayhem and by the stellar goaltending of Kurt “The Wall” Knazek. The Mayhem’s power play lasted only COMMUNITY ALERT twelve seconds. Clay “Too Tall” Irwin was sent off for BRAVO is issuing the following alert for the safety roughing with 5:35 remaining in the period. Neither of the LGBT communities of Central Ohio: team could score during the four on four situation. A white male has been identified as targeting gay Seconds after Irwin came out of the box the NetJets men for sexual assault, in and around Columbus were called for another penalty when “Fritz” was area gay bars. BRAVO, received a report that a male sent to the box for checking at the 3:21 mark of the fitting the description below sexually assaulted a second period. The Mayhem was not able to score on local gay man. It is strongly believed that the perpe- the power play opportunity. But they did get a crucial trator used a “date rape drug” in order to gain con- second goal with just :25 seconds remaining period. trol over the survivor of the attack. Jim Pun put the biscuit in the basket after receiving BRAVO has received similar reports in the past. a pass from Eric “The Banker” Caridas. The perpetrator is described as a Caucasian The Mayhem headed into the third period with a Male, 6’ 01”, 250-265 Lbs., Brown (Shaggy) hair in two goal lead and needed only to play twelve minthis Mid 30’s driving a late model grey or silver utes of solid hockey to pull off their third straight pickup truck. upset and earn their championship win. “Ruthless” If you have been the victim of, or are aware of, Ryan Jones scored his first goal of the season :38 similar assaults contact BRAVO ( 614.294.7867) or seconds into the third period with a beautiful wrist the Columbus Police Department 614.645.4545 or shot over sprawling NetJets goalie Thom Wright. SARNCO (24-Hour Rape Helpline) 614.267.7020 Matt “Leatherneck” Betts and “Too Tall” Irwin had Stay alert, trust your instincts, be aware! the assists on Jones’ goal. You may also reach BRAVO (Buckeye Region AntiThe last nail was put in the NetJets’ coffin when Violence Organization) by calling 866.86.BRAVO or Udo “Wingman” Schmidt-Sinns skated by the Netat 614.294.7867. If you prefer, you may email us at: Jets’ defense and scored at the 9:53 mark of the report@bravo-ohio.org. third period. The goal was unassisted. Doug “Cow-

town Bound” Massey was sent to the penalty box for roughing at 8:16 of the third period, but once again the NetJets couldn’t capitalize on the power play. Once the power play was over one could feel the energy was sucked out of the NetJets, and the Mayhem knew the title was theirs. Notes: The Mayhem’s championship win caps off a season in which the team lost three players for the entire season due to injury. Mark “Pulitzer” Miller was lost early in the season due to heart surgery. We are all thrilled that the surgery went well and that Mark has been able to come to the final few games to see us win the title! We look forward to his completing his recovery and rejoining the team as soon as possible! Uwe Scharfy was lost due to a serious back injury. We also hope he will be able to get back on the ice soon and rejoin the team. Lastly, we lost Mike Miller to an ankle injury. We wish Mike the best of luck with his move to Maryland. We were lucky enough to get Jim Pun back from a broken knee cap just in time for the playoff run. Special thanks to Mayhem rookie Kurt “The Wall” Knazek in goal. There is no way we would have been able to make it as far as we did without him in between the pipes. Good luck with soccer this summer and we hope you’ll be back in the fall! Rookie defenders Matt “Mad Dog” Reiter, Paul “Stinky” Betts, Eric “The Banker” Caridas and Mike “Softballer” Asher were excellent additions to the defense. The Mayhem finish the season on a five game winning streak, and have won six of their last seven after starting the season 1-6. Mayhem sends thanks to all the family, friends, and fans that have supported the team this year especially those who have been there since the Mayhem was founded. The team started is summer season May 11. Come out and watcht the carnage! Final Statistics for the Winter 2008 Session: Name Forest Edwards Matt Betts Udo Schmidt-Sinns Michael Davis Doug Massey Jim Pun Matt Reiter Mike Miller Bill Thompson Eric Caridas Ryan Jones Paul Betts Clay Irwin Mike Hicks Michelle Horn Bob Aspel Mike Asher Totals

G 26 4 3 3 4 2 1 2 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 47

A 4 5 6 3 1 3 3 1 3 3 1 2 2 0 1 1 1 40

Pts 30 9 9 6 5 5 4 3 3 3 2 2 2 1 1 1 1 87

PIM 4 2 2 4 4 0 22 0 0 2 0 0 4 0 0 0 0 44

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 7

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

8 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

SPORTS WEEKLY STANDINGS

INSIGHTOUT by Regina Sewell

Columbus Lesbian & Gay Softball Association Week 1 Standings Team Score

Roberts

Tradewinds Grizzlies

Roberts

Switch Hitters (Edward Jones)

Roberts

Division

Win Loss Tie 2 0 0

PCT

PTS

1.000

0.750

Axis

Roberts

0.250

Otero's

Roberts

0.000

Q-Bar

Roberts

0.000

Homewreckers (Q-Bar)

Akers 2

1.000

Union / Hard Times

Akers 2

0.750

3 2

Village Pet Supply

Akers 2

0.500

Team X (La Forgata)

Akers 2

0.500

Molly Woo's

Akers 2

0.250

Planet Score (Planet Smoothie / Score)

Akers 2

0.000

Somewhere Else / Oz

Akers 1

1.000

Stix-n-Chix (Carriage Trade Reality)

Akers 1

1.000

Chase

Akers 1

1.000

Renegades (Tradewinds)

Akers 1

1.000

Bottom's of the 9th (Q-Bar)

Akers 1

0.000

Cutters (Creative Foundations)

Akers 1

0.000

Plugged Nickel

Akers 1

0.000

Orange Crush

Akers 1

0.000

Club Diversity

St. Clair

1.000

A Mother’s Lament

Mother’s Day is a modern holiday plunked down on the calendar somewhere between Earth Day and the Summer Solstice. This holiday celebrating mothers is often marked or marred with a huge carbon footprint as we drive our gasoline driven cars to stores to buy Hallmark Cards, flowers, and small presents - most of which are non-biodegradable unnecessary plastic items that will eventually end up in a landfill. Meanwhile, this carbon footprint we are leaving behind is causing global climate change (global warming), which is putting twenty to thirty percent of the world’s plant and wildlife species at risk of extinction. If Mother Earth had a chance to respond to us on this holiday, this is what she might say: Dear children,

Pyramid II

St. Clair

1.000

Red Devils (Pierceology)

St. Clair

1.000

River Rats (Franklinton CTC)

St. Clair

0.500

Exile Pirates

St. Clair

0.500

New Creation / MCC Metz

St. Clair

0.000

Mo Money (5/3 Bank)

St. Clair

0.000

Ford's Fielders

St. Clair

0.000

Columbus Lesbian & Gay Softball Association Week 2/3 Standings Team Tradewinds Grizzlies

Roberts

Division Win Loss Tie 4 1 0

PCT

RA PTS

0.800

Score

Roberts

0.800

Axis

Roberts

0.700

Switch Hitters (Edward Jones)

Roberts

0.700

Otero's

Roberts

0.000

Q-Bar

Roberts

0.000

Homewreckers (Q-Bar)

Akers 2

1.000

Union / Hard Times

Akers 2

0.700

Village Pet Supply

Akers 2

0.600

Team X (La Forgata)

Akers 2

0.600

110

Molly Woo's

Akers 2

0.100

Planet Score (Planet Smoothie / Score) Akers 2

0.000

Somewhere Else / Oz

Akers 1

1.000

Stix-n-Chix (Carriage Trade Reality)

Akers 1

1.000

Plugged Nickel

Akers 1

0.667

Renegades (Tradewinds)

Akers 1

0.500

Orange Crush

Akers 1

0.333

Akers 1

0.000

Red Devils (Pierceology) Bottom's of the 9th (Q-Bar)

Akers 1

0.000

Cutters (Creative Foundations)

Akers 1

0.000

Pyramid II

St. Clair

1.000

Club Diversity

St. Clair

1.000

River Rats (Franklinton CTC)

St. Clair

0.750

New Creation / MCC Metz

St. Clair

0.500

Exile Pirates

St. Clair

0.250

Chase

St. Clair

0.000

Ford's Fielders

St. Clair

0.000

Mo Money (5/3 Bank)

St. Clair

0.000

To submit your weekly standings, email Chris at hayes@outlookmedia.com by Monday 3p to get in that week’s paper! Excel spreadsheet is best. MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

First, to the leaders: most you presidents, prime ministers and other leaders have been acting like playground bullies, beating up countries that you perceive to be smaller and/or weaker in order to get their resources and fighting back to prove how tough you are. I’m sick of your silly squabbles over resources, land, and water. I have given you everything you need. There is plenty enough of everything to go around if you would all just be careful with what you’ve got and share what’s left over. Your greed is killing me. And with your weapons of mass destruction, every military and terrorist attack ends up being an even greater assault on me. And just how do you think you are going to live if you manage to completely destroy me? I’ve tried to be patient, but I’ve had it up to here with you. Stop this fighting at once and go to your rooms! And don’t even think about taking your laptops, game boys, walkmans, cell phones, TV sets or anything to play with. This is serious punishment. I want you to think about what you’re doing to me and the rest of the creatures that share the planet with you. • Polar bears are drowning because the polar ice caps are melting. They go off to find food and exhaust themselves before they get to a chunk of ice to flop on to and rest. Don’t roll your eyes at me. How many of you are even in shape to swim 2 miles in a nice climate controlled swimming pool? Imagine how you’d fare if you had to keep swimming for miles and miles with no end in sight. • Coral reefs are dying off due to global climate change. And with them, entire ecosystems are being affected and some species of fish are now extinct. • We’re also already starting to see the impact of global climate change on the weather. Some scientists peg the recent intensity of hurricanes and

cyclones to the increase in carbon. • We’re already starting to see famines in Africa due to global climate change as well as an increase in diseases like malaria And don’t tell me there’s nothing you can do. I lived through the seventies and remember that in the U.S., Jimmy Carter managed to get congress to pass legislation that reduced gasoline consumption. For those of you too young to remember, gas prices soared and people in some places actually had to wait in line for quite a while to fill up their gas tanks. And yeah, the clothes were awful. And still, even with those funky collars and wide ties, congress passed legislation to reduce the speed limit, increase the fuel efficiency requirements on cars and the energy efficiency requirements for appliances and created tax credits for energy saving devices like solar water heaters. Drilling for oil in the pristine areas of Alaska is not the answer. It will just destroy yet more natural areas and create more carbon related problems in the environment. The rest of you stop smirking. You’re in trouble, too. As a group, you put them in power and have supported their destructive decisions. Many of you have even benefited by the gains of war. At this level, most of you share a portion of the blame. And you are polluting my rivers, oceans and atmosphere with the fossil fuels you burn in your cars. Perhaps if you drove less and walked more, I wouldn’t be so miserable and a big portion of you wouldn’t be struggling with obesity. And maybe if you walked more or rode the bus or rode your bicycles, the polar ice caps wouldn’t be melting and the polar bears wouldn’t be drowning. Even buying local produce and other products (including wine) instead of produce grown and products made in Argentina, Italy or China would help. You are filling your landfills with plastics, cans and bottles that could be reused or recycled. This is worse than the dirty socks you used to leave in the living room. At least they were able to walk themselves into the washing machine and be used again. And how hard is it, really, to recycle your junk mail, newspapers, empty soda cans and beer bottles? Consume less, love more and celebrate simplicity. And for the woman who nurtured you, – forget the sappy Hallmark card. Give her time and attention. Listen to her story and share yours with her. No matter what she did, she deserves some empathy for all those years of dirty socks and complaints about what she cooked or failed to cook for dinner. Your Mother

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 9

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

10 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 11

OUT BUSINESS NEWS by Michael Daniels

Queen of Hearts Spotlight:

Lindsay Hearts

Local professional body piercer Lindsay Hearts’ bubbly personality and trademark flame red hair have made her a local celeb among many crowds. An equal opportunity holemaker, Lindsay’s clients range from college students to rock stars to business professionals to dominatrixes and their submissives. I caught up with Lindsay recently at a cocktail party (imagine that!). Michael Daniels: You’ve been doing professional body piercing since 2002, getting your start in Orlando, FL. What got you started as a professional body modification artist? Lindsay Hearts: I always knew I wanted to make people instantly excited about their bodies, as I grew up body piercing seemed like the obvious choice. I was always fascinated by walking art. MD: After leaving Florida then to New York, you ended up in Columbus at Evolved Body Art. Why Columbus, and why Evolved? LH: In 2005 I attended my first Association Of Professional Conference in Las Vegas. It was my first year that I could afford to go. I saved all year. The last day of conference, I left early to the airport.

Heading to my gate, I ran into Kyle Petersen whom I have never met, and we began talking about Columbus, and Evolved. A few weeks later, I was invited to do a guest spot at Evolved and was instantly impressed with the studio and the staff. A couple weeks later, I gladly took a position there. MD: We know you can do it all, from facial and body piercings, to complicated microdermal. What are the most common piercings that you do, and what is the most unique piercing you’ve done? LH: Most common currently I would have to say is ear work – more specifically, tragus piercings, and industrials. I get a lot of requests for weird piercings. One of my favorite projects was two surface piercings on the front of a guys neck. Out of the ordinary that I love doing are tongue web piercings, which are easily hidden, but a lot of fun. MD: Most piercings are easy to understand, even if you’d never get a hole there! But microdermals are a little more hard-core. Can you explain what a microdermal piercing is? LH: Microdermals are essentially one point body piercings. The jewelry has a unique design to where

it anchors in the skin to secure in place. This gives you the liberty to put a little metal almost anywhere on the body. MD: What are the most common reasons that your clients tell you they’re choosing to get pierced? LH: Most common, of course, is aesthetics. I make people sparkle and I love it.

MD: So why only the girls!?! When are you going to create an all-male version of the Dolls? LH: The ladies keep me pretty busy!! 60 woman in front of the camera will make your head spin! BUT, there is talk of gentleman spin off... MD: Why do you think you have a large GLBT client base? LH: Well, I do have great taste in shoes!

MD: What should someone look for in a piercer and his/her studio space? LH: I write a book on this! Above all of course, is cleanliness, but what it boils down to is being comfortable and able to trust your body with someone.

MD: What’s next for Miss Lindsay? We hear a rumor that you’re courting a major studio and personality in LA? Any comment? LH: I do love the sunshine, and L.A. is never out of the picture… You never know where I will pop up!

MD: We know you’ve said you’d never miss a great party for a great cause, and that you’ve organized charity events and created The Dolls of Evolved. What are the Dolls and what do they do? LH: We are a group of women who are charity party planners. All of the dolls are clients of Evolved. They all carry a passion for body art and community involvement. The website is designed to showcase our personal body art.

MD: If you weren’t piercing bodies, what would you be doing? LH: I love working with photographers, and models to make art. I would be running a magazine, and that is still in my future plans. Contact Lindsay Hearts at Evolved Body Art, 1880 N. High St; email her on deardollface@gmail.com, or visit her at www.lindsayhearts.com (check out her new heart line – hot people covered in red glitter!) or www.myspace.com/candykissesburn.

NEARLY ONE IN FOUR GAY AND LESBIAN ADULTS LACK HEALTH INSURANCE According to a recent national survey conducted by Harris Interactive®, nearly one in four gay and lesbian adults lack health insurance and are nearly twice as likely as their heterosexual counterparts to have no health insurance coverage. When asked, 22 percent of gay and lesbian survey respondents reported having no health insurance, compared to only 12 percent of heterosexual adults in the survey. The new nationwide survey of 2,710 U.S. adults, (ages 18 and over), of whom 343 self identified as gay or lesbian (which includes an oversample of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender adults), was conducted online between April 7 and 15, 2008, by Harris Interactive, a global market research and consulting firm, in conjunction with Witeck-Combs Communications, Inc., a strategic public relations and marketing communications firm with special expertise in the GLBT market.

“We know the problem of the uninsured has reached crisis proportions in this country and, unfortunately, this survey shows that the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) community is today at greater risk. What GLBT households and all Americans deserve and need is affordable access to quality health care that results in positive outcomes and facilitates prevention, wellness and chronic care coordination,” said Peter Francel CEBS, Head of Sales-Product Group for Aetna. “We must step up all efforts to serve the uninsured and take the lead in transforming our health care system for not only our GLBT members but all those who are not covered by health insurance today,” he added, noting that Aetna’s GLBT friendly workplace policies have earned the company a 100% score on the Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index since 2002.

When asked about factors that influence their likelihood to consider specific health insurers, almost the same number of gay and lesbian adults said that it was important to them that the health insurance company provide domestic partner health coverage for companies to whom they supply health insurance (85%) and to their own employees (84%). Also, 79 percent of gay and lesbian adults reported that seeing a print advertisement for a health insurance company that provides information about insurance products and speaks to gay persons with images of gay and lesbian people would be an important factor on their likelihood of considering the company’s health insurance products. Assuming factors such as price, quality, and convenience were not considerations, nearly 8 out of 10 (78 percent) gay and lesbian respondents said

they would be likely to consider an insurance provider or plan that was marketing to the GLBT community and 67 percent said they would be likely to consider a health insurer if they knew that the agent selling the health insurance plan also was openly gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. “Studies consistently show that gay and lesbian consumers are far more likely to focus their spending on companies that sensitively and specifically reach out to them,” said Colleen Dermody, Vice President of Witeck-Combs Communications. “GLBT consumers place a high value on brands, including health insurance companies, that earn and grow respect within the community. GLBT consumers are among the most motivated to ‘vote’ with their dollars and to seek out brands they believe to be very friendly and supportive of the GLBT community.” MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

12 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 13

COMMENTARY by J Eric Peters

THE END

PART 2

A SOLDIERS TALE OF COMING OUT IN THE MILITARY

A knock at the door Three guys’ undies on the floor That party’s over

Hey, everybody out there in Outlook land, say hello to Koo! “Hi, Koo!” Moving right along. . . WHO’S THERE? When last we left our intrepid adventurers, mischief was afoot. Just as they had set in motion sausage-hiding high jinks and other naughty fun, there came a knock at the door. Whoever could it be? Tony, living in that assigned room, approached the door as his two cumrades dove for what little cover the closet-free room’s furniture offered. Then Tony released the lock, pressed the European-style latch, and opened the door. There stood one of the people we least wanted to see. June 1987 showed on the calendar. In July 1983 I signed up for the Army’s Delayed Entry Program and then enlisted on 21 February 1984 for three years. To accept the Army’s conditional approval of my requested transfer to Europe in March 1986, I had had to extend that enlistment for seven months to allow for the tour’s required eighteen months. I had already completed my original term of service. The irony of that fateful evening? “For the convenience of the government,” as my Certificate of Discharge (DD 214) reads, the Army retained me for one extra day, 21 September 1987, rather than allow my term of service to expire on 20 September, in order to ensure my discharge’s attribution to committing homosexual acts. And that little black piece fell at the end of the line of dominos tipped by Tony’s visitor: an acquaintance of his on duty that night as his barracks’s CQ runner. The Charge of Quarters (CQ) occupies an integral role in maintaining the Army’s eternal vigilance. The CQ’s activities appear to blend guard duty and receptionist service, but its connection with related positions demonstrates its vital importance. Along with the battalion Duty Officer (DO) and brigade Field Officer of the Day (FOD), the CQ’s 24-hour duty makes possible the Army’s around-the-clock availability for emergency deployment. When the CQ answers the phone, one never knows whether it’s the Commander in Chief’s call to war or a more mun-

dane personal call for a member of the detachment or company. Those social calls, in the age before cellular technology, provided much of the busy-work errands ran by the CQ Runner. And there she was. Why? She said she was collecting a music tape she had loaned Tony. And she did pick up that tape. Regardless of her purpose, her arrival ended our party so the other guy and I dressed quickly and rushed out of the building. Tony stayed there in his room. And we almost made it. After we dressed, said our goodbyes and left, we discovered that the CQ was looking for us. He checked our military ID cards and wrote down our information. My presence there was especially suspicious since I was assigned to a different base, which was hours away. So I’d gotten caught at a post hours from my own, a place where I had no official business, behind a closed door in a barracks room with two other guys, one of whom answered the door - I haven’t mentioned this yet, have I? - wearing a white terry cloth robe. But that wasn’t the only peek the Army got into my military closet. Oh, no. Nor was it the first.

A HARMLESS PRANK? I spent the Summer of ’85, during the final term of Reagan’s presidency, in Honduras, Central America, “the narrow southern portion of North America connecting with South America” (Webster’s), near El Salvador, Panama and Nicaragua. That’s where Reagan and Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North spent their ill-gotten gain from illegally selling arms to the Taliban starring Osama bin Ladin. I tagged along to provide administrative support to the combat engineering group supposedly there to build an airstrip. While there I had a tense and alarming one-on-one conversation with my company commander. She brought to me a letter that had arrived via the Army Post Office. The writer addressed the envelope simply to HHC 43rd Engr. Bn., our company, with no individual addressee. The letter itself opened with “Dear Joe,” my first name (which I no longer use). The signature said, “Paul,” the name of the guy I had most recently dated back in the ‘States. The letter’s writer laid out all the reasons he no longer wanted to date me, going into embarrassing and potentially damning detail. It was nasty. I’m sure I

deserved it for some reason but today I have no recollection what that reason could have been. It might have had something to do with me hitting on the guy selected by Paul to start cheating on me, which, again, I’m sure I deserved. To my company commander, who sat there as I read the letter, I of course denied having any knowledge of the letter’s subject matter and pointed out that the sender hadn’t even addressed the envelope to me. She replied with tacit agreement, noting that our company’s roster included several men named Joe, to whom she should probably show the letter next starting with Joe Lastname, our company’s first sergeant. Right then I realized that, of course, the letter was meant for me - as a joke! Yes, that’s it: a joke. That Paul was such a kidder! I never heard another word about that letter. Oddly enough it was another letter that got me in deeper trouble in Germany.

NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT I had gone to visit Tony because I hoped some time with him would take my mind off Julius and Keith. I was just finishing up some leave time, part of which I had spent with them. Their new steroid and coke habits worried me. After all, something had to bear the blame for my romance with Keith fizzling out. And it sure as hell wasn’t going to be my drinking. (“Blackouts are cool, right?” I thought at the time.) So I went from Tony’s base to mine and, once there, directly (Never “straight!”) to the office where I worked. I knew it was probably against some rule to use my office key outside duty hours but I wasn’t going to get caught - and, besides, it’s cool, right? Somehow the letter I wrote to another acquaintance in Georgia asking him, a civilian drug and alcohol counselor, to intervene with Julius and Keith got saved on the word processor I was using. And somehow it was still there when the office system did its nightly backup. I have no recollection of what it said but I know my discharge board admitted it into evidence. The Army has rules and procedures for these things, rules and procedures enlisted legal specialists like me knew quite well. NOT IN THE UCMJ REMARK: No Mark Danns - nor their hot, beefy,

nubile (Look it up!), cute assistants with their seething intellects and passions burning for justice - were harmed in the writing of this section. I am not a lawyer nor have I ever played one on TV. But I wrote this section without so much as a cursory review by a real paralegal, let alone an attorney. So please - feel free - go ahead and rely on this uninformed essay as (Tee-hee!) “legal advice” (GUFFAW!) so we’ll all know your lack of smarts rivals the lack of integrity in George W. Bush’s best buddy, Sen. John McBush, who endorsed Ken “Barnyard Logic” Blackwell in 2006. A basic principle of law in our nation is that the supreme law of the land is the U.S. Constitution (along with treaties and “the Laws of the United States which shall be made in pursuance [of the Constitution];” see U.S. Const. Article VI). (I assume in passim without deciding that “the Laws” may be construed broadly to refer not only to federal statutes.) The Bill of Rights, particularly Amendments IX and X, clarified this point: “the people” (Note that it does not say “only born and naturalized citizens not stuck at Gitmo”) have rights beyond and in addition to those enumerated in the Constitution and neither the Bush regime nor any legitimately elected presidential administration has the lawful power to enact any policy apart from the Constitution. Rights not to be denied or disparaged, which are “retained by the people” (Amend. IX), include the right to privacy and the right to be left alone, rights emanating from penumbras and read between the lines of the Constitution by the U.S. Supreme Court in cases like Roe v. Wade (abortion) and Griswold v. Connecticut (birth control). So one very good place to start in considering “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) or any other federal policy is the Constitution and the foundation, if any, it provides for said policy. Article I, Section 8 reads, “The Congress shall have power” and then goes on to enumerate those powers: “To lay and collect Taxes. . .,” “to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States. . .,” “To regulate commerce” both international and interstate, “To declare War. . .,” “To make all Laws. . .,” etc. Four of these constitutional powers, made and maintained by our Republic’s democratic processes and recorded in our Constitution, are most pertinent: the powers “to raise and support Armies;” “to continued on pg 20

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

14 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 15

FEATURE STORY

It’s Festival Time! Fair food, what more do you need to say? The sinfully delicious season is here, so hit that tread mill now, cause we can smell the corn dogs already. But the festival season isn’t all about the food (we can pretend, right?), but what each unique festival or happening adds to our City’s, and our own, cultural diversity. Not to mention they are huge moneymakers for the town. Festivals and special events contribute to quality of life for residents and are a big draw for tourists, pumping millions of dollars annually into the local economy. “With rising gas prices, we are very fortunate to have such an abundance of entertaining and en-

riching activities right here where we live,” said Paul D. Astleford, president and CEO of Experience Columbus. “Our festivals and special events also offer great ‘one-tank trip’ opportunities for some out-oftown visitors.” “The Greater Columbus area has so many reasons to celebrate, whether it is the variety of our cultural events such as Festival Latino or the Greek Festival, or the many musical celebrations like the Jazz and Rib Fest or Creekside Jazz and Blues Festival,” said Stephanie Lorenz, co-chair of the Greater Columbus Events Council. “This is a terrific time to invite friends and family from out-of-town to enjoy everything Columbus has to offer,” said Ashley Curl, who co-chairs the Events Council with Lorenz. And with all the construction downtown, it’s a great time to revisit the fest circuit as some are in new venues, which will give them view flavor! A few of the area’s most popular festivals will be

celebrating in new places to accommodate the construction and development of the Scioto Mile. The annual Columbus Arts Festival (June 6-8) relocates to the Discovery District, surrounded by the Columbus Museum of Art, Columbus College of Art and Design and Columbus State Community College. Festival Latino (June 20-21) will move across the river to Genoa Park. German Village Oktoberfest (Sept. 5-7) will also move to Genoa Park from the Arena District this year. Not to mention the viewing area and other activity areas for this year’s Red, White & Boom! celebration (July 3) will move up the Scioto River toward Washington Boulevard, North Bank Park and the Arena District. So grab your cholesterol pills and fanny pack, because this festival season is going to be the best yet. Here is a preview for you! Visitors can find a complete Calendar of Events and additional information at www.ExperienceColumbus.com.

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

16 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

Asian Festival

Columbus Arts Festival

Festival Latino

Origins Game Fair

May 24-25

June 6-8

June 20-21

June 25-29

Franklin Park Conservatory www.asian-festival.org

Discovery District www.gcac.org/fest

Genoa Park www.FestivalLatino.net

Greater Columbus Convention Center www.originsgames.com

This two-day event features cultural displays, world class entertainment, artist demonstrations, delicious food, health & wellness screenings and activities from twelve Asian countries. This year a major highling is the Mongolian Chorus and Costume Show. Sponsored by the Innovation Grant of the Ohio Arts Council and the Asian Festival, Mongolian Chorus will perform at the 2008 Asian Festival. This will be the first time in the history of the State that the Mongols, descendants of Genghis Khan, will perform in Ohio. Besides singing, there will be a costume show of the Mongolian traditional dresses. The schedule of their performance at Amphitheater: Sat May 24, 2:45p-3p Sun May 25, 1:40p-2p; 3:20p-3:40p

Discover the art in the new home of the Columbus Arts Festival presented by Time Warner Cable, now in its 47th year. Surrounded by the Columbus Museum of Art, the Columbus College of Art and Design and Columbus State Community College, the Columbus Arts Festival is the city's welcometo-summer event, pairing the finest artists and craftspeople with continuous entertainment including hands-on art activities, musical performances and food from the area's finest restaurants.

The 2008 Festival Latino will take place from 5p to 11p on June 20 & 21. As the city looks forward to the 2012 Bicentennial, redevelopment of the area known as the Scioto Mile will commence. In preparation for this redevelopment, Festival Latino will be reformatted in 2008 as a gated event on the west bank of the downtown riverfront. Also new in 2008, Music in the Air will partner with CAPA to present a spicy Saturday evening performance sure to set the downtown riverfront ablaze with music and dancing.Festival Latino will continue its 12-year tradition of featuring some of the best Latin American music, dance, food and merchandise. Tickets will be available for purchase at the gate and select community locations. Details on prices and performing artists will be announced soon.

Origins Game Fair is a 24 hour game convention in Columbus, Ohio at the Greater Columbus Convention Center with game demos, tournaments, and casual play; along with a huge exhibit hall with all of the games you want to buy, an auction, an art show, seminars, and much more. Fair-Only passes get you into the exhibit hall and hundreds of game demos for games we guarantee you’ve never heard of (Saturday and Sunday)! Passes for the full show include over 4,000 tournaments and casual play games for all genres of gaming (Wednesday-Sunday).

ComFest

Gay Pride Festival

Red, White & Boom!

June 27-29

June 28

July 3

Goodale Park www.comfest.com

Downtown Riverfront www.columbuspride.org/events

Downtown area www.redwhiteandboom.org

North Market Food and Ohio Wine Festival

The Community Festival is a place and time where you can kick back for a few hours or three full days, soaking up the vibe of an enviable exercise in participatory democracy. Starting in 1972, this volunteer music festival sports multiple stages, hundreds of performers, a village of vendors, tons of food and big mugs of beer. A true Columbus original, the fest has for years coincided with Pride, making the weekend one of the largest festival weekends in town.

Happy Pride. The midwest’s largest celebration of GLBT culture and living returns, not with just a weekend, but a month of events. 6/3 - History Panel: The Central Ohio Response to the AIDS Crisis; 6/5 - An Exhibit of Pride Art Show; 6/6 and 6/7 - “OUR POWER WEEKEND” Pride Kick-Off Outdoor Concerts; 6/11 - History Panel; 6/14 - Pride Poker Run; 6/14 - Fore! Pride Golf Outing Inaugural Event; 6/15 - Leslie Jordan “Pink Party” Pride Fundraiser at Stonewall; 6/16 - Leslie Jordan: My Trip Down the Pink Carpet One-Man Show; 6/20 - CATF “Skate for Life”; 6/21 - Run for Pride 5K Run/Walk; 6/26 - After Stonewall DVD Showing; 6/27 and 6/28 - Rockin’ in The Streets; 6/27 and 6/28 - Qasis Pride; 6/27 and 6/28 - Interfaith Events; 6/28 - Pride Parade and Pride Festival; 6/29 - Pride Brunch; 6/29 - Bat -N - Rouge; 6/30 - Call in Sick! =);

Experience a fresh new view of the biggest and best Independence Day fireworks celebration in the Midwest. This July 3rd BOOM! will launch for the 28th time with this year's new show debuting at Veteran's Memorial, featuring great new views, dynamic pyrotechnics, live bands, food and fun. It's BOOM! like you've never seen it before! With park construction, the fest is now spread all over the dowtown from Genoa Park to Arc Park to the North Back to Long St. There are plenty of areas to experience the show.

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

July 11-13 North Market www.northmarket.com Come savor tastes of select vintages from 18 Ohio wineries at the Annual North Market Food and Ohio Wine Festival presented by National City. The North Market will host a weekend celebration of Ohio’s finest wines and great foods to pair them with during this quintessential Ohio celebration. Barrels of family fun to be had include shopping at the farmers’ market on Saturday and a craft fair on Sunday, live music, culinary demonstrations by some of Columbus’ finest chefs and children’s activities including face painting, balloon twisting and a chance to scale the Ohio Farm Bureau’s corn climbing wall! The North Market Food and Ohio Wine Festival is truly an event for all ages.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 17

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

18 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

OUT OF TOWN FESTIVAL MANIA! DAYTON PRIDE June 7 & June 21

Jazz & Rib Fest

Ohio State Fair

Greek Fest

July 25-27

Jul 30-August10

August 29-September 1

Downtown Riverfront www.hotribscooljazz.org

Ohio Expo Center www.ohiostatefair.com

Greek Orthodox Cathedral www.greekcathedral.com

Now in its 29th year, Jazz & Rib Fest brings together some of today's most popular and innovative jazz artists with mouth watering ribs from across the country. Don't miss this Columbus summertime tradition. Admission is FREE!

From the very first Fair of three days in 1850 in Cincinnati to the 12-day exposition of today, the Ohio State Fair has celebrated Ohio’s products, its people and their accomplishments. Concert highlights this year include Melissa Etheridge (Sat, Aug 2 - $30); TobyMac (Mon, Aug 4 - $12); The Four Freshmen (Tue, Aug 5 - free); Peter Frampton (Tue, Aug 5 - $20); Blake Shelton with special guest Candy Coburn (Wed, Aug 6 - $20); The Oak Ridge Boys / The Charlie Daniels Band (Thu, Aug 7 - $25); and Chaka Khan (Fri, Aug 8 - $20). Plus don’t forget all the food and the butter cow!

Experience the culture and ancestry of Greece and the Orthodox Christian faith as expressed through the many foods and activities offered during our annual Greek Festival. In a world that is changing almost every hour, it is refreshing and inspiring to touch base with heritage and traditions centuries old, yet contemporary in their focus.

Upper Arlington Labor Day Arts Festival

Columbus Food & Wine Affair

September 1

September 5

Northam Park, Upper Arlington www.ua-ohio.net

Franklin Park Conservatory www.foodandwineaffair.com

Located in the 22 acres of Northam Park and presented by the City of Upper Arlington’s Cultural Arts Division, the Festival showcases the exceptional works of nearly 200 local, regional and national artists.Throughout the day, you can peruse a variety of art media including ceramics, glass, painting, photography, sculpture, wood and more. All artwork on display is available for purchase and we encourage you to take this opportunity to purchase a new piece of art for your home, or gifts for friends and family, to show your support for our participating artists.. An entertainment stage features an excellent line up of musicians with ongoing entertainment, and patrons can sample the many delicious food items and refreshments on sale from local food vendors.

In a relatively short time, the Columbus Food & Wine Affair has gained a reputation as a Mecca for culinary industry professionals as well as for foodies and wine enthusiasts. The affair showcases the finest Central Ohio chefs as well as some of the world’s most superb vintners. Columbus Food & Wine Affair underscores that the optimum in food and wines can be found right here in Columbus, reminding residents that you don’t have to go far for a dish that’s to “die for” or a glass of wine with the perfect finish. The Affair culminates in the very popular Grand Tasting, where guests enjoyed food tasting from over 25 of the finest restaurants in central Ohio, pouring of over 450 international wines and a delectable silent auction.

The Cathedral tours will inspire you, the Orthodox Christian Bookstore will educate you, the food and drink will entice you and the hospitality will overwhelm you. Stop by the shops, enjoy the music and dancing, visit the exhibits and enjoy the wonderful Greek pastries.

Hot Times September 5-7 Olde Towne East www.hottimesfestival.com The Hot Times Community Music & Arts Festival is an independent, yearly, all volunteer, community arts & music festival. The site is a large, grassy area with mature hardwood trees throughout. The three-day event showcases local and nationally known professional musicians, dancers, poets, visual and performance artists, hosts the largest gathering of Art cars in Central Ohio & a lively street fair.

"Celebrate 2008 - It's About Freedom" " is the slogan for Dayton's Gay Pride Celebration. You, your family & friends are invited to the Parade and Pride Fest on June 7 and the Pride Dinner on June 21.

“PRIDE IS ALIVE!” IN CINCINNATI Jun 14 & Jun 15 http://prideisalive.com Celebrate Your Pride During The Tri-State’s Annual June Pride Festival! This Year's Theme "Celebrating Our Diversity!" Pride Alive 2008 Music Festival Times: Sat Jun 14: 4p - 10p; Sun Jun 15: 1p 7p at Hoffner Park in Northside - 4101 Hamilton Ave. Pride Alive 2008 Parade Sun Jun 15, Pep Rally Begins at 11:30a at Burnet Woods Gazebo, Parade Begins at 1p, Burnet Woods traveling to Northside.

INDY PRIDE Jun 13-15 www.indyprideinc.com Indy’s Pride includes Kristin W and Derek Hartley, of Derek and Romaine, on Sirius Satellite Radio.

The Festival Headliner is international recording artist, Kristine W. PRIDE PITTSBURG Jun 16 - Jun 21 www.pittsburghpridespace.com Pride 2008 will be a week long celebration for and about GLBT Pittsburgh. The GLCC will be celebrating as a part of this overall celebration with the DELTA Foundation. Raffles, prizes and many other activities will abound

CLEVELAND PRIDE Saturday, June 21 www.clevelandpride.org Cleveland Lesbian-Gay-Bi-Trans Pride, Inc. goes Platinum as we celebrate our 20th Parade, Rally and Festival on Saturday, June 21st, 2008 in Cleveland Ohio. Our parade, rally and festival will be held at Voinovich Park located at the end of the East 9th Street Pier. Stay tuned for more exciting information about our celebration for Cleveland Pride '08.

THE OHIO RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL Saturday, Aug 30,- Sunday, Oct 19 513.897.7000 www.renfestival.com The Ohio Renaissance Festival is an annual event that takes place on weekends from late August through October. This Renaissance festival is held in Harveysburg, Ohio. It is set in a 16th century English village, during the reign of Elizabeth I. The fairgrounds are 30 acres in area, and include shops, stages, and regularly scheduled simulated jousting. This year be sure to check out the Feast Royale – It’s the biggest bash in history! MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 19

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

20 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

Oktoberfest September 5-7

HOW DOES FAIR FOOD FARE?

Genoa Park www.gvoktoberfest.com Oktoberfest is a time-honored German festival featuring traditional German polka as well as various other styles of music, a variety of authentic German food and other festival favorites. Don't miss Marketplatz filled with artisans and unique shops. Join us at Genoa Park for "one of the top 100 events in North America!" Be sure to check our website for updates, price breaks, entertainment, and special offers. By Shirley Perryman, MS, RD

Via Colori

Going to the fair is a once-a-year experience for many of you and eating the food Goodale Park there is at the top of the list of fun things to www.viacolori.com do. Into which food group does most of the Via Colori®, The Street Painting Festi- food you can buy at the fair fit? That’s right . . . under discretionary caloval, is an upscale signature special event in which local artists create chalk ries or what we think of as “extras.” Those artwork on the street. Proceeds are extra calories are typically limited to 100 to divided equally among a group of 300 calories for most of us if you check on Columbus arts and health organizations which are all working together the pyramid.gov website. A few hundred to bring this event to Columbus. calories aren’t going to go far when you start looking at your food choices at the fair. One way to enjoy extra goodies is to plan October 10-12 ahead and consume fewer calories a day or Italian Village two before you go to the fair. But keep in www.columbusitalianfestival.com mind that once you get there, you will want to: The Columbus Italian Festival provides • Pass up the mega-size drinks. Infun for the entire family. Enjoy live enstead of choosing a giant size calorietertainment, open-air markets, Italian laden soda, juice or fresh squeezed dancing, children’s area and plenty of lemonade, opt for the smaller version infabulous food! The festival will be held stead. An even better option would be to outdoors, on the grounds of the historic, bring along water, which is calorie-free, Saint John the Baptist Italian Catholic Church, in Italian Village.

September 13-14

Italian Festival

THE END continued from pg 13

provide and maintain a Navy;” “to make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces;” and “to make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers, and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Office thereof.” Congress uses those powers. But just because Congress has the power to make really, really stupid, wasteful, illogical and harmful laws doesn’t mean that Congress should. For example, Congress used these powers to pass legislation, which Commander in Chief Bill Clinton signed into law in 1993 and which courts have referred to as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). Congress passed that law in reaction to two related series of events. First, voters in the State of Colorado in November 1992 passed a law, Amendment 2, which made unconstitutional all local laws in Colorado prohibiting discrimination on the bases of sexual orientation and/or gender identity. (At the time Aspen, Boulder and Denver all had such laws.) Our community’s reaction to that heinous event was intense and nationwide. On January 15, 1993, just months before Congress passed DADT, a federal district court in Colorado granted temporary injunctive relief that kept that law from taking effect. In 1996 in Romer v. Evans (116 S. Ct. 1620), the U.S. Supreme Court found that Colorado’s state constitutional amendment violated the US Constitution’s Bill of Rights (particularly the Equal Protection provision in the Fifth Amendment’s Due Process clause). It was a huge win for our community and that 1996 case’s handwriting may have been on the wall already when Congress passed DADT. MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

Second, President Bill Clinton, a Democrat, was elected to office in November 1992 after a campaign that included promises to integrate into America’s military sexual minorities as Truman had racial minorities (an act that, by the way, preceded and led to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the U.S. Supreme Court’s pro-marriage decision in Virginia v. Loving). Very shortly after taking office, Clinton took bold steps to keep his promise to us, but Congress decided to fight him. Congress passed DADT as Public Law 103-160, Division A, Title V, § 571(a)(1) on November 30, 1993, as recorded in 107 Stat. 1670 and codified (think “filed away”) as 10 U.S.C. 654. Titled “Policy concerning homosexuality in the armed forces,” the law consists of six subsections: findings, policy, entry standards and documents, required briefings, rule of construction and definitions. The findings, which attempt to justify the law, are a study in non sequiturs. The findings include an assertion about us homosexuals (a term defined in the policy as “include[ing] the terms ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’) and our negative effects on the military. But they give no proof of that assertion, which is purely hateful nonsense. Perhaps most significantly, unlike the previous policy, which focused on status (i.e. being gay, bi or lesbian), this policy focuses on behavior and “homosexual acts.” By 1996 over a dozen lawsuits had challenged DADT. The U.S. Supreme Court routinely refused to hear the appeals from the U.S. Courts of Appeals even though those courts were divided. Two noteworthy dissenting opinions arguing that DADT was unconstitutional can be found in Able et al. v. United States (88 F.3d 1280, 1996) where Judge Nickerson provided both a forceful argument and a very useful summary of GBLT history and in Holmes

and then you can start your calorie balance sheet at zero. • Share with others. Since there are so many tempting options, think about having a little bit of several different things to keep from feeling deprived. Cotton candy is an easy treat to share. All things on a stick and deep-fried don’t fit into this category as easily. • Avoid grazing. When you “graze” it’s hard to know how much you’ve eaten. As you walk around you buy this-and-that to munch on and it’s easy to lose track. Check out the food options as you’re walking, make your selections and then sit and eat. That way you’ll be more conscious of what’s gone into your mouth. • Consider setting limits. A funnel cake is a deep-fried sugar-topped delicacy chock full of fat and calories. Let’s face it; the fat grams in this choice are way over any reasonable limit in a healthy diet. You may want to enjoy this treat without sharing, but it would be advisable to make good choices the rest of the day. Plan for more activity to burn off calories Another good option is to plan for more activity such as walking to burn off the calories in those fair delicacies. Wear comfortable shoes and consider wearing a pedometer if you really want to track your steps. One mile equals 2,000 steps. A 120pound person burns about 80 calories an hour walking at 2 miles per hour; a 180pound person burns around 120 calories an hour. The number of calories you burn walking depends on your own body weight and the

v. California Army National Guard et al. and Watson v. Perry et al. (companion cases at 918 F.Supp. 1403, 1996). It is worth noting that courts in many of these cases relied on Bowers v. Hardwick, the 1987 case in which the U.S. Supreme Court upheld as constitutional Georgia’s sodomy law. Of course that case was overruled in John Geddes Lawrence and Tyron Garner v. Texas (539 U.S. 558), which the U.S. Supreme Court decided on June 26, 2003, one day before Pride that year which is the day Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-SC) died. The courts’ reliance on Bowers makes sodomy laws, which now are unconstitutional, relevant to DADT. The military’s sodomy law, still on the books although somewhat limited by U.S. v Marcum (60 M.J. 198, C.A.A.F. 2004). Pre-Marcum, however, military courts had found that the American right to privacy didn’t protect American soldiers, airmen, semen or marines from prosecution even for private and consensual sex between adults; see, for example, Fagg v United States (33 M.J. 618; 34 M.J. 179; certiorari denied 113 Sup. Ct. 92, 1992). For the record, yes, it’s a real case, and, yes, that’s exactly why I cited it. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (10 U.S.C. 654) remains in force. In passing this law, founded on the stupid and disproven idea that the military service of openly gay and lesbian servicemembers hurts the military, Congress required the Secretary of Defense to develop some regulations to implement the policy. Two relevant Army regulations are Army Command Policy, Army Regulation 600-20 and Active Duty Enlisted Administrative Separations, Army Regulation 635-200. These regulations do provide if followed and enforced - do provide some protections to all servicemembers. They limit the authority

distance you walk. Heavier weight people will burn more calories per mile and you’ll burn more calories the further you walk. If you can walk a mile in 15 minutes, you’ll likely burn about 100 calories, though while at the fair you’re unlikely to be walking at that pace. Here’s a list of how the calories in typical fair foods translate into the number of miles you would need to walk to burn off those calories. • Caramel apple - 3 miles • Corn dog - 4.5 miles • Cheese fries - 4.5 miles • Cotton candy - 1.5 miles • Fried candy bar on-a-stick - 4.5 miles • 6-inch funnel cake - 3 miles • 32-oz. soft drink - 2.5 miles • Sno-cone - 2.5 miles • Soft pretzel - 3 miles Transgression here or there will not undo otherwise healthy lifestyle Even with the best intentions some of you may feel that you’ve overindulged by the time you’re leaving the fair. If you’re looking for a back up plan consider that tomorrow is another day. Get yourself back on track with your food choices and get going on your exercise. A transgression here or there for a special occasion will not undo an otherwise healthy lifestyle. Remember, it’s all about the lifestyle choices that you make most every day that really matter. Shirley Perryman, MS, RD is a Food Science and Human Nutrition Specialist with Colorado State University Extension. This piece is excerpted from www. ext.colostate.edu/PUBS/COLUMNNN/nn070816.html

to begin investigations to commanders only and also limit commanders’ authority to do so. AR 635200 seems to assume that discharges “for Homosexual Conduct” under the provisions of its Chapter 15 would usually lead to honorable discharges. In fact, it makes no allowance whatsoever for commanders using it to give soldiers Bad Conduct Discharges or Dishonorable Discharges. MY ENDING My chain of command wasn’t all that familiar with the regulation in force at the time they processed my separation. Even though I worked on a daily basis with attorneys and other legal specialists, I had to point out that the regulations of 1987 required they allow me a hearing before a board of officers where I could present evidence against my discharge. And it was to my defense counsel, an attorney, that I first pointed it out. Two lieutenant colonels personally testified on my behalf at my hearing. One was the Roman Catholic chaplain at U.S. Military Command and Authority (USMCA) Wildflecken, and the other Wildflecken’s deputy commander. I knew the chaplain from my occasional involvement around the chapel and the deputy commander because my coworkers and I did thrice-weekly physical training with post headquarters and our runs the colonel often invited volunteers to accompany him on an extended run. Sixty pounds ago I was often the only volunteer. In the end the board found that I had indeed committed homosexual acts and recommended an honorable discharge. That result left intact my veterans’ educational benefits, which I used to complete a bachelor’s degree at the University of Cincinnati. I started school less than one week after my discharge was final.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 21

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

22 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD by Romeo San Vicente

ZELLWEGER PRODUCES LIVING PROOF

THE COLOR PURPLE REFUSES TO FADE

A DESERT HEARTS VALENTINE

DAWN DENBO: DETECTIVE

Renee Zellweger’s working relationship with her gay Chicago producers, Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, is back in action. The A-list star will join the successful team as an executive producer of the Lifetime original movie Living Proof. The film, based on the book by NBC medical correspondent Robert Bazell, will star Harry Connick Jr. as Dr. Denny Slamon. The UCLA physician developed the breast cancer drug Herceptin 2, and worked against time and sometimes medical-world bureaucracy to keep clinical trials on track. The film will shoot in New Orleans and air in October as part of Lifetime’s annual “Stop Breast Cancer for Life” awareness programming campaign. Producer Zellweger will not appear in Proof, but will star with Connick in the upcoming movie Chilled in Miami.

Leave it to Oprah to one-up the competition. While Hairspray began life as a movie with music, became a Broadway musical, and finally returned to the big screen, The Color Purple is set to experience a fourth incarnation. The Pulitzer Prize-winning, lesbianthemed novel by Alice Walker turned into an Oscar-nominated Steven Spielberg movie and wound up on Broadway - produced by Winfrey - as a musical. And now it’s on track to return to the screen starring the stage’s most beloved “Celie,” Fantasia Barrino. The film is on hold while Barrino works on her next CD of original music, so no due date yet. And while she’ll be the fourth American Idol veteran to star in a movie musical (who can forget From Justin To Kelly?), if Fantasia’s Broadway reviews are any indicator, she may well be the next one to win an Academy Award.

These kids today, they just don’t know. Time was, there simply weren’t movies where queer characters didn’t die, go crazy, or return to opposite-sex relationships before the final credits. And that’s why 1985’s Desert Hearts, a lesbian drama where the romance was hot and happy, was so groundbreaking. Fans and there are many, including rebellious critic Camille Paglia - will now have more cause to celebrate with the release of Desert Hearts Mon Amour, a documentary about the widereaching impact and influence of the film. Featuring director Donna Deitch, stars Helen Shaver and Patricia Charbonneau, as well as people like Queer as Folk‘s Michelle Clunie and The L Word‘s Daniela Sea, the movie is still in production. But keep an eye out for its arrival on the queer film-fest circuit before too long.

After ferociously tearing up the insular circle of gal pals on The L Word last season as the mean-spirited “Dawn Denbo,” it was only a matter of time before someone with the power to make a development deal took notice of lesbian actor Elizabeth Keener and her darkly funny work. And that’s what happened at the Here cable network, where the sister of Oscar-nominated Catherine Keener is poised to star in her own series. Keener will play a lesbian FBI agent sent on an undercover assignment in a small town - where she’ll have to deal with the case, the town’s strange citizenry, and her own personal life - in what’s being called (since it’s still untitled) a cross between Silence of the Lambs and Twin Peaks. Probably minus all that coffee and cherry pie.

Romeo San Vicente is president of the gay male chapter of the Dawn Denbo Appreciation Society. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

ARTS by Christine Kobus

CSI: COLUMBUS I turn on my television and instantly my living room is painted red and blue by the police lights shooting out from the screen. I watch, eyes wide, as Katherine Willows steps onto the crime scene, surveying the chaos disapprovingly in her black leather jacket and highheeled boots. Warrick Brown and Greg Sanders are in tow, readying themselves for a long night of “plastic-bagging” and “dusting for prints.” Nick Stokes looks up from the lens of his camera to acknowledge the arrival of his colleagues, his chiseled features so mesmerizing I forget for a moment he is bending down next to a dead body. Then, a car door opens in the distance, like a drum roll announcing an arrival, and the camera pans to Gil Grissom, master of the crime drama. He steps up to the body, looks quickly down at it, already aware of “what must have happened here,” and makes his trademark clever quip into the camera. Next thing I know, a guitar riff blares out of my television speakers, and the voice of an agedrocker asks, “Who are you?” I’ll tell you who I am: I am a CSI fan. I skip the famed Thursday nights in the Short North simply to watch my Emmy-Award winning addiction. And how lucky for me, for the first time in Columbus, I can enjoy a world of investigators and lab techs without having to admit I’m a “couch-potato.” I can drive into downtown MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

Columbus, sans the squad car, and be the first on the scene of COSI’s newest traveling exhibition CSI: The Experience. CSI fans, and those who will be after viewing this exhibition, begin their experience by watching a video featuring some of the popular Las Vegas cast members and real-life forensic scientists. Visitors learn that crime scene investigation and laboratory research is not as easy as it looks on TV. Sure, shout at the television “The creepy guy from the costume shop is the murderer,” or “Open your eyes Grissom, she killed the valet,” but the COSI exhibition puts your sleuth skills to the test. Gather clues from a car crash in a living room, a corpse found in a motel ally, or a skeleton in an unmarked desert grave all recreated right here in your beloved hometown and the safety of COSI’s museum walls. Make your way into state-of-the-art recreated crime labs where you can compare bullet casings, make DNA matches, examine blood spatter and look at ordinary items through a microscope all in an effort to crack the case. Finally, saunter into Gil Grissom’s workspace to find out whether your hypotheses were correct, or if you should have stayed in a few more Thursday nights watching how Gil and his team get the job done. Stick around after the debriefing to view some of the show’s authentic props to

complete your run in this unique experience. COSI has brought something unique to our fair city, and we, as CSI fans and science buffs, would be fools to miss it. The exhibition opens on May 24 and runs through September 1. COSI will also be open 7 days a week for the Summer. Tickets can be purchased at the COSI Box office or in advance online at www.cosi.org. Let me tell you friends, as someone who has seen the exhibition features and heard the guest testimonials, CSI: The Experience might just be the one thing that will pull me, the ultimate CSI junkie, out of my living and into the world, until now, I could only

watch. COSI has brought me something I can experience for myself, and I cannot wait to turn on my television after my time at this exhibition and answer the CSI theme-song’s question quite differently. “Who are you?” they will ask, and I will say, “I am a crime scene investigator - a CSI thanks to COSI.” Christine Kobus is Membership Coordinator for COSI, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. CAMA’s mission is to promote awareness of and participation in the arts and cultural opportunities in Greater Columbus through collaborative marketing and public relations projects, and to provide professional development opportunities for members. For information visit www.camaonline.org.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 23

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

24 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

INTERVIEW By Gregg Shapiro photo by Lynn Goldsmith

Simon Says: An Interview With Carly Simon With This Kind of Love (Hear Music), Carly Simon has created a whole new chapter in her musical career. That’s saying something for someone who has made her mark in folk, pop, standards, film scores and more. The music on the This Kind of Love disc has a largely Brazilian influence and Simon’s voice is custom made for the sultry tunes. I had the pleasure of speaking with Simon about the new disc, aspects of her career and much more, shortly before the release of the album. Gregg Shapiro: A lovely Latin influence dominates your new disc This Kind of Love, sometimes subtly as in the title track “When We’re Together,” “Sangre Dolce,” and “Island”, and other times in a much more overt fashion as in “Hola Soleil” and “The Last Samba.” What was the inspiration for the Latin voyage? Carly Simon: The Latin voyage was the first little tender darling bud of May and then other ideas followed. I’d wanted to make a bossa nova album for a long time and it gelled for me a couple of years ago. When I first fell in love with Brazilian music, it was in around 1961 or 62 whenever Black Orpheus came out. I saw that movie probably 15 times within the first year that it was released. I was always so uplifted and thrilled by the music of (Luiz) Bonfá and (Antonio Carlos) Jobim and Baden Powell and other early stars of Brazilian music. The first actual hit that we had to bring it into the mainstream over here was “The Girl From Ipanema.” GS: Sure, Astrud Gilberto. CS: Right. Which was Joao Gilberto’s ex-wife Astrud being in the studio, when they happened to record that (song). She said that she wanted to translate it, because she’s bilingual, and they gave her a chance to sing the lead vocal. You know how those things happen – all of a sudden history is made and that was very accessible to the American and probably European markets. It was relevant in everybody’s minds because that song became such a hit and we all started to listen to Brazilian music. But not many American pop stars embraced it as a part of their format. Maybe nobody thought that they could. It was with reverence that we listened to the guitar styles of Jobim and Gilberto and vocal stylists like Maria Toledo who did a record with Bonfá that I MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

listened to all the time. With so many Portuguese people on this island (Martha’s Vineyard), I heard a lot of Brazilian-inflected concerts up here and I wanted to do an album that would sort of invite them to lead the way for me or for them to follow me where I could lead the way. Nothing materialized because I was working on other projects. But I had it very much in mind when Jimmy Webb called me and asked me about a year and half ago if I wanted to make a Brazilian kind of samba album. I said, “Yes! I’ve been thinking about it for at least a year already and I would love to.” Jimmy came up (shortly thereafter) and we just started to play and sing and write and that was the beginning. The first song for the album was “This Kind of Love.” I’d written the lyric of it by the time that Jimmy and Peter Calo, the musical director on the album who’s been my guitarist for years, came up. After intending, without ever saying it, to do an all samba or bossa nova album, we had a lull in our schedules because I couldn’t get Starbucks (and record label Hear Music) on the phone. What I had thought was definitely going to happen was…I wasn’t hearing from them, so I didn’t have a definite contract. Jimmy Webb disappeared into a series of concerts that he had scheduled to do and I lost a little bit of faith in the idea thinking it was never going to happen if I don’t have budget from Starbucks, I’m never going to be able to do it on my own. But I kept on writing lyrics and trying to get it motivated as it were, and what was happening was that Starbucks was signing other acts and it diverted their attention a little bit. During that time, however, I was listening to the records of Caetano Veloso and I realized that he had world music influences, especially the music of Italian filmmaker, like the things that Nino Rota wrote for Fellini. Listening to the best of Veloso, it wasn’t all necessarily all tango or samba or bossa nova or calypso. There wasn’t one definite format because he had become so influenced by all of these things, including Frank Sinatra and American cowboy movie. It wasn’t one genre anymore and I thought how wonderfully digestible this music is and how it can go around the world and come back again. Then I started to listen to Jorge Ben, an iconoclastic Brazilian music, who is just fantastic and what he does with his voice is amazing.

GS: “The Last Samba” and “Hola Soleil,” both are dance tunes, and I was wondering if you consider yourself to be a good dancer or if you are more of a wallflower? CS: I love to dance more than I love anything. I feel freer when I dance than any other state except for sleep. I do! I love to dance. It’s one thing that makes me overcome my nerves and my fears. It’s the most wonderful feeling for me. I would say that I probably prefer to dance to Motown than to anything, including Latin music. Anything that I can move to, I feel freed up. GS: If your wonderful reading of “Over The Rainbow” on Into The White didn’t increase your following in the gay community, than the inclusion of the All About Eve snippet at the end of “People Say A Lot” is bound to have an effect. CS: I certainly hope so. I’m so glad that you heard that. That song is interesting. It was almost that quote that made me write the song. I had seen All About Eve just about as many times as I’d seen Black Orpheus and I always tried to imitate George Sanders saying (she does a Sanders impression), “Phoebe.” I just love that movie. I think it’s the best written movie ever. I love the acting. Of course the message is one that everybody can take to heart, especially the constituents of the Democratic or Republican parties. I mean, it’s such a political song in so many ways, but it’s also such a personal song about when people work for you and they say they’re going to do such and such to sell themselves, it’s so often to get the job and not to actually mean to carry it out. GS: My partner Rick has a grown son who, a few years ago, took great delight in telling his father about all of the mischief he got into when he was a teenager, of which Rick knew nothing. Am I reading too much into “Hold Out Your Heart” or is that what the song is about? CS: Of course (the line from the song) “Did you go out surfing on a frozen sea?,” is a metaphor for all kinds of things. But in particular this does have a link which is that when (son) Ben (Taylor) was around 18 or 19 he said that he was going to go to Jones Beach to go surfing with his friend Kip. This was during a blizzard and I said, “Oh no, you’re

not,” and we had a huge fight over it. He won and he actually took off and I didn’t know where he was because, of course, how could you reach somebody when they’re on a subway, pre-cell phone days. He was gone for hours and it was absolutely terrifying. And then, of course, my daughter doing so many things that we couldn’t even talk about because she stood so imperious and so righteously. GS: Speaking of children – your son Ben and daughter Sally are among the next generation of musicians – including Rufus Wainwright and Martha Wainwright, Teddy Thompson, Jakob Dylan, Jordan Zevon, among others, to establish careers in music. As a musician and a parent of musicians, how do you feel about it? CS: I think that it’s almost impossible not to when you’re so genetically bombarded by that predilection, which both Sally and Ben are on both sides of the family, not just in our generations, but in our parents generations. Both their father’s and my parents were extremely musical, and my sisters are. It’s kind of everywhere. Thank God they have the talent to live up to the predisposition. Ben is actively performing just about everywhere and he’s got a new record coming out late this summer. And he’s one of the best performers I’ve ever seen. He’s very accomplished and he’s done more concerts than I have in my entire career. There are many little devils that way upon him, such as his mother and father, but he’s so good at embracing them and not turning them into ghosts, but making them into a part of his happy lineage. GS: On the new album you are reunited with two previous collaborators and music legends in their own rights – Jimmy Webb and Carole Bayer Sager. What was that experience like for you? CS: I’d never worked with Carole before with the exception of “The Spy Who Loved.” I hadn’t really known her around that time; I had done that through Marvin (Hamlisch). I had a great working experience with Carole. I went out to her house in Los Angeles and she’s got a studio there. She’s much more of an older sister type and I’m much more of a younger sister type, so she took me in hand and said, “Okay, we’re going to put this down continued on page 27

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 25

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MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

26 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

continued from page 24

today.” She was kind of the boss of what I did, and happily so. I don’t have the executive part in my brain, which is actually something I wondered about for years, and then I was finally tested and it was proved that I didn’t have an executive ability. So I sort of need a mother or a coach or an older sister to say, “You have an interview today. Don’t forget your interview!” I’m one of those people who needs a manager, and I don’t have one. GS: But you’re one of those people who takes direction well. CS: I’m very relieved to have it. GS: And working with Jimmy again was also a good experience? CS: Working with Jimmy was wonderful. He’s such a brave, romantic, creative soul. He’s one of the real voices. He’s one of the unsung heroes. He doesn’t get as much credit as he should for being such a leader during the `60s. He got it for a while then, but as so many people did he dropped under the radar screen for a while, but he’s still as great as ever. GS: Earlier you made reference to the Starbucks and the Hear Music label on which This Kind of Love is being released. Hear Music is also home to Joni Mitchell and Paul McCartney and I wanted to ask you how it felt to be on the label? CS: I’m very excited about it. The man who’s in charge of A&R there, Alan Mintz, is one of the most unusual people I’ve ever met in the music industry part. He’s very caring and hands on, and dare I say, I go back to Jac Holzman (of Elektra Records). Clive Davis is the most hands on music men I’ve ever known, not necessarily in a desirable way for the artist, because he comes on very strong, but he works as a springboard for the artists’ ideas. I know that when I was recording for Arista, if I felt incredi-

bly strongly about something, I would go into banging my fists in the desk and crying, so he knew where I stood. He certainly made me aware of what I was more than passionate about. GS: As someone who recorded albums for children some 40 years ago, what do you think about the trend of artists such as Dan Zanes, Ralph Covert (a..k.a. Ralph’s World) and Jason Ringenberg (a.k.a. Farmer Jason), and even They Might Be Giants – who had careers in the alternative rock scene – recording albums for children that can also be enjoyed by their parents? CS: Two things I think about it. One is that it’s a very heartwarming thing that that trend is going on. Two, I don’t ever want those people to feel, as I didn’t want to feel, as if I wasn’t considered viable in any other way. Therefore, record songs for children. I did an interview with a newspaper who indicated that it seemed that Sony was kind of sloughing me off in the area of doing standards or children’s records, as if I didn’t want to be. There are two things that are true. One thing is that I did want to be doing that. Two is that I didn’t think that I should be doing one right after the other. GS: In addition to the release of “This Kind of Love,” you can also be found in print in Sheila Weller’s new book Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell and Carly Simon — And The Journey of a Generation. Did you have any misgivings about the project when you first heard about it and were they assuaged after you read the book? CS: The book is wonderfully researched. And as wonderfully written as it is, it’s still sort of men through the prism of women’s eyes, instead of the other way around. There’s not as much about our music as there is about who we were in bed with. Which I have a feeling is because of this feminist structure which hasn’t really fallen into place and is constantly being

challenged and very often we fall short of being able to come up against it. GS: Even though a woman wrote the book? CS: Yes. And I think she wrote it with every good intention of keeping to be a feminist book, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the editors at Simon & Schuster – which was ironically… GS: Yes, of course, the press co-founded by your father. CS: But I think the pressure was put on her to be… GS: Do you think it’s gossipy? CS: It doesn’t sound gossipy, but still, if you look for all of the particulars on how we were each influenced by this or that musician, that doesn’t come across nearly as much as who hurt who and who left who. That, again, I think is an editor’s problem. I don’t think that was Sheila’s problem. GS: On the whole, would you say that you are pleased with the book? Was it scary to think that someone would be writing such a book? CS: I’m very pleased with the part that I think Sheila took control of. GS: You are also someone who was ahead of the curve when it came to releasing an album of standards – for example, Torch preceded Linda Ronstadt’s What’s New by a couple of years. CS: I was just going to say to you now that everybody’s done it, it feels like labels are sloughing off artists when they have a couple of albums to complete their contract into doing standards. Which is ironic for me, because I, at the very peak of my commercial success, I went into (the album) Torch, which was very much against what Warner Brothers wanted me to do, because I had just had (the song) “Jesse” as a hit. But I completely believed in doing

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 27 Torch. That was a part of my background as a musician. The songs and singing of Rodgers and Hart and Gershwin and Cole Porter and Irving Berlin and on and on and on. That was what I wanted to do so much at the time. I had a lot of nerve, in a way, by leaving my highly commercial fan-base at the time and going into something that (label head) Mo Ostin didn’t think was going to be nearly as commercial as my own songs. But instead I said, “No, it’s really time now. I want to do Torch. And I did it in a slightly modernistic way in that I did it with Mike Manieri, whose a jazz musician, so it is varied. In a way, it’s like this (new) album which is very much an homage to Jobim, but it also has a lot of other influences in it, such as my experience with American pop music and my own writing. So it’s merging together in hopefully the same way that Caetano Veloso’s did.

GS: After I finish speaking with you this morning, I am going to be interviewing Cyndi Lauper regarding her True Colors tour, which features gay and straight artists performing to raise money for the Human Rights Campaign and other LGBT organizations. I’m wondering if Cyndi called you asked you to be a part of the True Colors tour, if it would be something with which you might get involved? CS: Well, the part that I actually could be involved in is the gay and lesbian part. The part that would be hard for me is to commit to a tour because I’m not very comfortable being onstage. But the part that would be easiest for me would be to be singing on behalf of all of us. I don’t consider myself to be not gay. GS: Wow! Well, it’s great to have you as part of the family. CS: Thank you! I mean, I’ve enlarged all of my possibilities. There are a lot of extremely personal stories to tell about that, but we won’t go into that right now. Let’s just say that it just depends upon who I’m with.

FILM by Adam Lippe What Happens In Vegas… Roger Ebert, writing about Dice Rules, an Andrew “Dice” Clay concert film said that “it could not be more damaging to the career of Andrew Dice Clay if it had been made as a documentary by someone who hated him.” Well, What Happens In Vegas is the equivalent, except this time the target is Cameron Diaz. Harshly lit, splotchy faced, overtanned, and frighteningly skinny, the fact that she’s supposed to appear sexy is either some kind of joke on her by the director, director of photography, and makeup people - or everyone was going through the motions so much during the making of this film that they forgot the most important thing about forgettable star vehicles, which is to make the stars appealing and attractive. Granted, this is the new custom for middling studio comedies in this decade. They are using a particular kind of film stock that makes black colors blacker (thereby reducing compression issues for DVD) but makes skintones look pasty and unattractive. This is a deeply cynical move — they expect the audience who pays for this in a theater to be too stupid or indifferent to care. They expect the real money will be on DVD, where it will (but shouldn’t) look much better, anyway. As a result of this, the movie itself is a complete afterthought. The jokes are telegraphed five minutes in advance, the slapstick is so contrived as to be distracting, and the plot forgets what its own rules are at several different points. The only saving graces, apart from its comedically overex-

tended “romantic ending,” are Rob Corddry and Zach Galifianakis playing Ashton Kutcher’s friends. A better way to handle the movie would be to let these two scene stealing forces star in their own movie, as no one would care how bad their skin looked. Redbelt Speaking of bad skin, Tim Allen’s haggard and bloat set the stage for David Mamet’s superb Redbelt. The film is another one of Mamet’s twisty mindfuck con games that answers the burning question, “Would it ever be possible for Jean-Claude Van Damme to star in a legitimate film?” The answer would be, “Yes, as long as Van Damme wasn’t actually in it.” A strange melding of smart and tricky plotting with the generally disreputable martial arts genre, call it Glengarry GlenBloodsport, Mamet doesn’t condescend to fans of the wildly popular sport of mixed martial arts, nor to his own fans. A Jujitsu instructor, who thinks honesty and honor will make him successful, saves Allen, who is playing an aged movie star, in a bar fight. Redbelt drifts along rather slowly, lining up entertaining but seemingly incongruous elements that play to Mamet’s interests in samurai training and Greek tragedy. Shocking bits of violence and well-staged fights distract the viewer from looking what’s up Mamet the magician’s sleeve. As the story builds and even after you’ve left the theater, you realize that what would normally be plot holes

in a typical thriller are just questions that Mamet hasn’t answered for you, and you have to work out what really happened and put the puzzle pieces together. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Harrison Ford is introduced in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull looking slack and small. This is not a good omen for someone who supposedly can beat any foe in a fistfight. Perhaps because of the long gestation period between sequels, the filmmakers stuffed as many ideas as they could, resulting in a film with no cohesion at all. The result is both exhausting and dull. This should’ve been obvious to the filmmakers; the plot’s dealings with McCarthyism, aliens, Roswell, Russians trying to develop mind control, killer ants that look like CGI grapes, and a crystal skull that is a doppelganger for Giger’s Alien head, are all fighting against each other. Basically the

scenes in the second half could have played in almost any order and I wouldn’t have noticed. Considering this is just a rehash, you’d think they’d at least get the original details right. But Ford has not a single comedic slow burn in the entire film, and his role is reduced to lame slapstick, jokes about his age, and references to previous installments. There was one idea that I wish they had capitalized on, which seemed about to be realized. During an escape, Jones and a Russian enemy end up in some sort of machine that looks exactly like the time machine from Timecop. For a moment I was excited and thinking, “What about a fish-outof-water time travel movie with Indiana Jones and a Russian soldier — think The Odd Couple with a Fedora and a hammer and a sickle, in the future?” Sure that sounds stupid, but no dumber than anything that actually made it into this movie. In terms of the fourth film in a series, this Indiana Jones installment makes Leprechaun 4 look like… Leprechaun 4.

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

28 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

SEX TALK by Simon Sheppard

SPEAKING OF

SPANKING

When it comes to SM, many guys will swear that nothing beats a good, old-fashioned spanking. Plenty of pain play just plain hurts, which delights many a masochist. But since the butt’s a major erogenous zone, spanking walks a libido-lofting line between pleasure and pain. As one swatting bottom says, “A hard hand on my ass goes straight to my cock.” Spanking is, in fact, one of the Nasty Things most likely to sneak into an otherwise staid relationship. Says one leather top, “There are plenty of men who don’t like floggings, hot wax, or clothespins, but just adore getting their butts worked over. It’s less intimidating to otherwise vanilla folks - kinky, but not too kinky.” The classic over-the-knee scenario involves the forceful, repeated application of bare hand to naked assflesh. But, as in all matters sexual, tastes vary. Some tops prefer their bottoms’ bottoms encased in tight white briefs. Some bottoms want to be worked over with implements ranging from the iconic hairbrush to elaborate leather whackers. For those into frat-rat roleplaying, a wooden pledge paddle inscribed with Greek letters will provide a rush. And, as with other sorts of sadomasochistic play, some folks prefer pain to be linked to penis-based pleasures, while others look askance at including any outright sex. While blistering a butt may seem like an anyone-can-do-it pursuit, good spankings do involve skill. Experienced spankers know, for instance, that a slightly cupped hand usually gives greater impact and a satisfying smacking sound. Our spanking bottom claims, “I can tell pretty quickly if a top knows what he’s doing. There are basically three zones to the butt. The big, fleshy middle of the cheeks can take a lot of punishment. Further out, it’s less padded, so things hurt more and feel less good. But the area around the crack is the sweet spot - that’s where getting slapped feels really great.” Additionally, each spanking implement has a feel of its own, from stinging to thuddy. And the best way to really know what each one’s like sorry, total tops - is to experience the impact on your own eager ass. If you’re the one doing the spanking, you should, as with other sorts of pain play, start out fairly easy and gradually ramp up the intensity. That permits pain-managing endorphins to build, and lets you figure out a fellow’s limits

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

without getting so rough so fast that he shuts down the scene. Limits are malleable, anyway. Says another well-seasoned spankee, “How much I can take depends on all sorts of things: how I’m feeling generally; if I like and trust the top; whether I’m in the mood for just a quick working-over that makes my asshole pulse, or a long, cathartic session that makes me cry.” Spanking’s not just a matter of physical fun it has psychological dimensions, too. While reddening a rump is usually associated with discipline, it’s an open question whether giving a bottomboy what he craves qualifies as punishment per se. Still, spanking’s a central part of many a Daddy/boy or Master/slave scene, where props, such as doubled-over belts or paddles, often play a part. Spanking can be approached as a rite of passage, too. Whether through prearranged frat-hazing roleplay or something more impromptu, it’s bracing to prove one’s masculinity through enduring consensual abuse. And sometimes it’s just about surrender, taking more and more and more sensation. Or it’s about dishing it out, reveling in pushing another man’s pain envelope. Our leather top explains, “When I’m spanking a dude, his butt feels better than my hand does. But I get a lot of vicarious pleasure watching my bottom’s behind get red after all, I’m not a total top, and I know how good it feels to be smacked.” He smiles. “Fortunately, I’m a bit of a sadist, too, and I do love the look of a well-abused posterior. After all, I don’t do all that work solely for some masochist’s amusement.” Despite its nasty trimmings, spanking is even safe sex (assuming you remove those bulky finger rings). Sure, there can be bruises or broken capillaries, but all that means is avoiding your gym’s locker room for a day or two…or coming up with a good story for your boyfriend, perhaps one about falling off a horse. So whether your interest lies in a quick slap and tickle, an involved leather scene in your local dungeon, or being punished for some supposed sin or other, you might want to give it a whack. Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at SexTalk@qsyndicate.com. Visit Simon at www.simonsheppard.com.

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 29

SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage

I’m a 31-year-old man and my girlfriend is 28. We’ve been in a monogamous relationship for four years. Recently we’ve been doing the long-distance thing, and we’re going to be doing it for a while until I can move from Canada to the United States. This is our problem: She brought up the idea of an open relationship until I get down there. I said okay - trying to be GGG - and 24 hours later called her back and reneged. Dan, I can’t stand the idea of another guy with her. I can’t. I trust her and, as much as anyone in this situation can say this, I believe that she would only be after the sex if she slept with another guy - but the idea of another guy doing anything to her drives me nuts. I’ve read that open relationships just don’t work for some people. But I also believe in being able to improve yourself. Is my jealousy a negative trait that I can get over? Help me be modern! Confused In Canada Help you be modern, CIC? But there’s nothing premodern about your feelings, no area where you require “improvement,” nothing you need to get over. Look, kiddo, there’s a difference between being a jealous asshole and being a selfaware sex partner. Asking your girlfriend to remain monogamous until you get your ass down to the U.S.? That’s just stating a sexual preference, if I may repurpose that phrase. A sincere desire to be your girlfriend’s one and only sex partner should not be confused with something as base as jealousy. Jealousy is not trusting your girlfriend when she’s out of your sight; it’s flipping out when other men notice her; it’s making furious and baseless accusations of cheating. Jealousy is controlling/manipulative/abusive behavior masquerading as insecurity. Jealousy is a poison. And you’re not jealous, just monogamous. Open relationships are great - ahem - but they’re not for everyone. Some folks aren’t built to share a sex partner, don’t want to share, and consequently shouldn’t share. We’re talking sex partners here, CIC, not large pizzas or pot stashes - a reluctance to share is not evidence of a character flaw. It’s an alternate lifestyle choice, CIC, one that, while I don’t fully understand it, I do fully support. My boyfriend has recently confessed an interest in gaining weight and has asked me to explore this kink with him. He wants me to feed him during sex, and generally encourage him to gain weight. I love the man too much to care if he gains a little weight, but I

don’t think he’s interested in gaining just a little. As much as I would love to indulge his kink, I also don’t want him to bite the dust at age 40 from some obesity-related disease. Before I turn down his request, I wanted to ask you if you might have any ideas as to how this kink could be played out in a way that keeps us both happy and healthy. Thanks. Don’t Want To Kill Husband Material Feed him carrots. I am a 25-year-old straight woman who recently got out of a monogamous relationship with a man with herpes. He developed symptoms for the first time a year into our relationship and I believe him when he said he hadn’t cheated on me. Presumably it had been lying dormant or his first outbreak was so small he didn’t notice. Either way, it was quite obviously an unpleasant situation, but we handled it pretty well, I think. Unfortunately, that relationship has now ended and I find myself not knowing how to deal with the thought of future partners. I’ve never had any symptoms and we were pretty careful (condom use, no sex during his outbreak) once we discovered the issue, but we had been having unprotected sex for about a year before the outbreak and I know that condoms are not 100 percent effective anyway. So here’s the issue: Do I tell future partners in advance that I’ve been exposed and risk scaring them off over a disease I don’t seem to have? I have been having nightmares about having terrible outbreaks and about spreading the infection, but I don’t know if that’s an overactive guilt complex or what. I really have no idea how to handle this situation. I want to be responsible, but also not cause myself a huge amount of extra stress and possibly heartbreak. Help please? I’m tired of crying all the time. So Sad Always First, SSA, you might want to get tested you do know you can get tested for herpes, right? - and find out, for sure, if you even have herpes. For info about tests and where to get ’em, go to www.plannedparenthood.org. If you do have herpes, SSA, I would encourage you to be open about it - all of it, SSA. Not just your exposure and the fact that you haven’t had a single outbreak, but also the odds that the person with whom you’re sharing this info has herpes himself. One out of every

four adults has herpes and most of us - because we’ve never had an outbreak or didn’t notice the one mild outbreak we may have had - aren’t even aware we’ve got it. But here’s the best reason to disclose, SSA: for your own peace of mind. You’re going to want to make this a nonissue as you head into a new relationship, and the only way to accomplish that is through disclosure. If you don’t disclose, you’re not going to enjoy your new relationship because you’re going to be stressing out the whole time about whether or when your new partner is going to have an outbreak. Bottom line, SSA? You don’t want to date guys who are hysterics about herpes - you don’t need that kind of stress, either - and, averages being what they are, sooner or later you’ll find yourself having the talk with a cool guy who already knows he’s been exposed. I’ve been married for eight years to, and have two kids by, my wife - she thinks I’m a great guy. But she has a tremendously low sex drive (once a month is good for her) and mine is fairly high (three times a day would be perfect). At the end of the proverbial day, though, I used my wife’s low sex drive as an excuse for fucking around. This isn’t a sex question, but a relationship question: I finally had that moment of clarity that made me realize what a tool I am, and how I was jeopardizing a great family life for some extra pussy (or manpussy, depending on the hookup). I decided I was done and I’ve stuck by that decision. Problem is, this last woman I slept with e-mails me a few weeks ago and tells me she’s pregnant. I need to tell my wife, obviously. Is there any way to tell her this without completely losing her? Dumb Tool I don’t have any magic words for you, DT, as there’s just no way to say, “Honey, I knocked someone else up” without at least risking the end of your marriage. Drop the bomb, get your asses into couples counseling, try to stay together for your kids’ sakes, and when the new kid arrives, get a paternity test - and a vasectomy too, DT, just in case you’re ever tempted to stray again. And please don’t call ever call it “manpussy,” DT, unless you’re trying to wreck my love life, too. Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage.mail@savagelove.net

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

30 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY

ABOUT TOWN MAP OF NORTH AMERICA IS THE TRAIL FOR WORLD PREMIERE OF JORDAN’S TRAIPSING TRIP DOWN THE PINK CARPET… One of America’s fastest rising stars will be bringing his highly anticipated new stage show My Trip Down the Pink Carpet starring iconic funny man LESLIE JORDAN to a theatre near you. Written and adapted for the stage by Jordan himself, the latest one man laugh fest from the diminutive star of stage, screen and television will traverse the entire North American continent with fresh, heartfelt autobiographical material that promises to run the gamut from A (amazing) to Z (zany). Directed by Tinsel Town stage veteran David Galligan and produced by Palm Springs based Reaction Productions, the acclaimed, Emmy award winning (Will & Grace), versatile performer returns to the stage, having conquered multitudes of performance mediums on the strength of his own unique character and convictions. His adroit, one-of-a-kind Southern branded humor and innate storytelling abilities have brought Jordan legions of new fans. Jordan is best known for his innumerable television appearances both as a series regular and guest star. Along with his portrayal of the irascible nemesis to Karen Walker, Beverley Leslie on Will & Grace, he has registered memorable guest stints in an array of television’s best known series such as Boston Legal, Ugly Betty and

Reba. Equal acclaim has come from Jordan’s hilarious, poignant and humane portrayals on stage and film. His most enduring turn as Brother Boy in the hit cult film classic Sordid Lives as well as his one-man autobiographical stage renderings “Like a Dog on Linoleum” and “Hysterical Blindness and other Southern Tragedies That Have Plagued My Life Thus Far” have hailed Jordan with well deserved accolades for his unique talent. Having taken feathered plume to hand to commit to pages (and the Ages), his first book tentatively titled My Trip Down the Pink Carpet, an autobiographical compilation of witticisms and wisdoms he has collected along his life course upon which the new stage show is based. The “trip” is saturated with star encounters as well; show biz legends Betty White and Cloris Leachman along with contemporaries Megan Mulallhy, Delta Burke, Billy Bob Thorton and Robert Downey Jr. make his written journey a true “cause celebre” and are mixed in memorably with his encounters in a colorful assortment of family, friends and bands of “gypsies, tramps and thieves” all of whom Jordan is more than willing to “Cher”. Published by Simon & Schuster, Inc, the narrative voice is unmistakable, vintage Jordan, doing what he does best; traipsing

his way down the path he was destined to take, with no apologies and fewer regrets. In the process, Jordan hits more than a few potholes along the way while rendering a life experience filled with raucous humor, wild abandon, trials and tribulations and anecdotal tidbits that are often painfully honest but forthrightly shared with the integrity only a man of his spiritually awakened sense and resolve could possess. Scheduled to visit 28 cities throughout North America, My Life Down the Pink Carpet will continue throughout Spring and early Summer 2008. Play dates for the show, accompanying book signings and special appearances will include the major urban centers of America and continuing through the Heartland, the Deep South and beyond to the capitols of neighboring Canada. Leslie lands in Columbus on June 16 at the Southern Theater at 8p. [Jordan will also be at a fundraiser for Stonewall on June 15. See page 6 for more info] Tickets for My Trip Down the Pink Carpet” at a location nearest you will become available through local box offices and in some instances through major ticket outlets such as Ticketmaster, Tickets.com, GetTix.com. Specific information on the show’s tour can be found by visiting www.thelesliejordan.com

COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: JUNE 11, 6P-8P; LOCATION: U CAFE - 782 N HIGH ST; SPEAKER: OUT WITH OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008

OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 31

fin

THE LAST WORD by Jennifer Vanasco

Our Memorial Day A friend of mine has a tradition. Every Memorial Day she and her family visit the graves of the loved ones they’ve lost. The parents and cousins, the grandparents and friends. She remembers them and honors them. And in turn, the memories of them stay present with her. Memorial Day, of course, is a military holiday, meant to honor the brave men and women in the Armed Services who have given their lives to serve our country. The national holiday should still be that, will always be that. But the GLBT community can also repurpose the holiday, the way we have with so many other things. We can use it to remember our own dead – those who died because they were gay or transgender, and those who were gay and transgender who died. We can remember our great ones. We can remember all the activists who have fought for us for the past 40 years, those who put their relationship with their families, their jobs, and their lives on the line in order to work for equal employment, equal marriage, attention to GLBT health issues and an end to violence and discrimination toward GLBT people.

We can remember our great authors, like Tennessee Williams, Gertrude Stein and her partner Alice B. Toklas, James Baldwin, Audre Lorde and (maybe) William Shakespeare. We can remember Katharine Lee Bates, who wrote America the Beautiful and Bayard Rustin who made America more beautiful by dedicating his life to African-American civil rights. We can remember composers Leonard Bernstein, Aaron Copeland and Samuel Barber. We can remember singers Bessie Smith and Ma Rainey. We can remember photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. We can remember choreographer Alvin Ailey. We can also remember those who died too soon. We can remember Harvey Milk, now the subject of an upcoming biopic, who inspired a generation to come out when he was the first openly gay elected official in the country. He was killed by his anti-gay colleague Dan White. We can remember the thousands of gay men who were slaughtered by AIDS, particularly those in the wave of deaths in the 1980s, who ferociously called the country and medicine to account for ignoring the disease’s progress. We can remember Keith Haring, who used

his simple and ecstatic artwork to raise calls for activism and awareness. He died at age 31. We can remember journalist Randy Shilts, who told our stories to the public and made them listen. We can remember those who were killed by Iraqi death squads because they were gay, those killed under the Taliban, those killed by Nazis. We can think of our brothers and sisters in Iran, Mauritania, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Yemen, where homosexual acts are still punishable by death. We can remember Brandon Teena, the transgender man whose story later became the movie Boys Don’t Cry. We can remember Rebecca Wight and Claudia Brenner, James Zappalorti, Paul Brussard, Barry Winchell, Scott Amedure, Gary Matson and Winfield Mowder, Fred Martinez, Nizah Morris, Roxanne Ellis and Michelle Abdil, Steen Fenrich, Gwen Araujo, Sakia Gunn, Aaron Webster, Arthur J.R. Warren, Richie Phillips, Jason Gage, FannyAnn Eddy, Brian Williamson, Brandie Coleman, Michael Sandy, Roberto Duncanson, all of whom were killed through anti-LGBT violence. We can remember those who were killed whose names we do not know. We can remember Matthew Shepard.

We can remember, too, this year’s dead. We can remember those who died of natural causes, like the recently departed artist Robert Rauschenberg; science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke; historian and activist Allan Berube; and Larry McKeon, the first gay legislator in Illinois. And we can remember those who died of unnatural causes, like Lawrence King, the transgender teenager who was killed by a classmate because he was brave enough to wear makeup and jewelry to school. We can remember all in our community whom we loved and lost. We can celebrate their lives and their impact on our lives. We can think about the things they loved, the causes they cared about, and commit ourselves to working on those issues, too. This Memorial Day, take a moment. Light a candle. Say a prayer. Read their names to the sound of bells. These are members of our community that we have lost, and in remembering them, we honor them. Jennifer Vanasco is an award-winning, syndicated columnist. Email her at jennifer.vanasco@gmail.com. She edits the gay political blog VisibleVote08.com.

HOROSCOPES by Jack Fertig

ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): Mad impulses may show creative brilliance, but they’re very likely to go awry. In artistic creativity, at least nobody is likely to get hurt. Still, it could happen. In contact sports and kinky explorations, be especially careful!

CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): Your budget is already in trouble; being dazzled by exotic shiny objects doesn’t help. Signing up for courses or travel could also be an impulsive, expensive mistake. Arguments that sound important are only about ego. Avoid them!

LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Your efforts to improve the workspace are more visionary than practical, and your notions of teamwork may need more humility. Looking ahead is good, but stay focused on the immediate task at hand.

CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan 19): Baby, you are sizzling hot! Trouble is, it shows even when you don’t want it to, and messages get too easily mixed. The best way to handle unwanted attention is with firm limits and good humor.

TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): Your innovative vision for the community may have something to it, but don’t act too quickly. More thought is needed. Much more! This is also not a good time to make changes around the house, especially if electricity is involved!

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): You are now especially bold, assertive, and seductive. Imagine all the trouble that can get you into! It’s sure to be about twice as much as usual. Cool your jets, and focus your attention on the one person you really adore.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): You may be feeling brilliantly creative and at the top of your game, but that could easily be hubris. Make sure your actions and ideas are well grounded, and double-check everything!

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): Whether frustrated by your relationship or your lack of one, sudden decisions now are probably based on exaggerated hopes or disappointments. Major changes are worth considering slowly in calmer times.

GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20): Do try to keep your brain ahead of your mouth. It’s not easy now, especially in dealing with authority figures. Nobody’s going to hear you quite the way you intended, and the powerful are especially likely to take offense. Be ready to apologize, even if you’re not sure what for.

VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22): Your suspicion of your friends is probably exaggerated, but not entirely unfounded. A discreet chat with someone you know you can trust can help sort things out. Meditation can also help you see what anxieties are feeding your doubts.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 20): You need to be heard. You can sing out, Louise, but keep it to artistic efforts, and allow yourself to be weird and wacky. Avoid debates and politics, except in the form of parody.

PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 19): Pushing too hard at work or at working-out can cause a lot of trouble. Focus, and be clear about achieving what you want, knowing that you can get there with slow, careful effort. Meditate on the inner life of the tortoise as he prepared to beat the hare.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.

MAY 22 - MAY 28 2008