"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fair ' Lamentations 3:22
OUTPOUR MAGAZINE ENCOURAGING EVERYDAY PEOPLE TO LIVE FOR CHRIST
Out of the Ashes and into JOY Meet the leaders of TRANSFORMATION CHURCH ARMED AND DANGEROUS
A WINNING STRATEGY FOR PRAYER
OUTPOUR MAGAZINE FOUNDER/EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Krystion Nelson COPY EDITOR Bryndle Bottoms CREATIVE DESIGN EDITOR Donald Currie, 12/24 Media FEATURE MAKEUP ARTISTRY Candace Marie Smith, Candied Faces FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHY Ty Francis, Ty Francis Media THEOLOGY EDITOR Ronald Obie SOCIAL MEDIA GRAPHICS Justice Zimmerman OCTOBER 2020 CONTRIBUTORS Heather Hefner Tikelia Stennis Ashley Cooper Nneka Collins Sheila McIntyre Adrian Starks Published by Issuu Inc. Cover/Article pictures: Envato Elements CONTACT info@outpourmagazine.com Outpour Magazine, Oct. 2020 (c) All rights reserved. Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible.
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Oh Lord, how I long to be in your presence, for (Psalm 16:11 ESV). The presence of God is a place that I love to dwell. It's where we can commune with God, cast our cares to God, and be at peace with God. A.W. Tozer claims in his Christian classic that “at the heart of the Christian message is God Himself waiting for His redeemed children to push in to conscious awareness of His Presence.” And while God’s spirit is within every Christian (1 Corin. 3:16), we may get so caught up in our day-to-day lives that we lose sight of the manifest presence of God, where God's presence is neither acknowledged nor considered. Rather, (Psalm 140:13 NKJV). May we not lose sight and awe of being in His presence - where joy and pleasures reside! In this month’s issue, we invite you to meet a couple enjoying being new parents (page 16); learn about the importance of prayer (page 12); how God can call and use you right where you are; and how to see your children as a reward from the Lord (page 24).
Additionally, understand how God can make beauty from ashes (page 30); how to trust God through difficult trials (page 33); and why God desires unity in the body of Christ (page 35). And finally, meet this month’s Pastor Spotlight - the leaders of Transformation Church in Indian Land, SC (page 27). We pray that you will seek, dwell and rest in the presence of the Lord - each and every day! Please don’t forget to subscribe to our FREE magazine at outpourmagazine.com. And we’d love to hear from you! Contact us or send us prayer requests at info@ outpourmagazine.com. We love you and are praying for you! God Bless,
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"YOURS, LORD, IS THE GREATNESS | O U T P O U R M A G A Z I N E
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1 CHRONICLES 29:11 NIV
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AND THE POWER AND THE GLORY AND THE MAJESTY AND THE SPLENDOR , FOR EVERYTHING IN HEAVEN AND EARTH IS YOURS . YOURS, LORD, IS THE KINGDOM; YOU ARE EXALTED AS HEAD OVER ALL ."
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Ashley shows parents how they can display God’s love through their parenting, and how they can join in God’s mission of being ambassadors of Christ towards their children. Ashley and her family live in the Charlotte, NC area and attend Transformation Church.
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Nneka talks about the importance of prayer and being a prayer warrior. The best way to win a spiritual battle is through strategic prayer. Nneka and her family live in Charlotte, NC and serve in leadership at Have Life Church.
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Heather recalls a tough time in her life but shows how God can create beauty from ashes. She and her family live in Fort Mill, SC and attend Fort Mill Church of God.
Contributors Meet the Writers of this Issue
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Bishop Starks implores the church to prevent schisms in the body of Christ and to maintain unity. Bishop Starks leads World Victory Church in Greensboro, NC.
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Tikelia shows us how we can let our trials draw us closer to God. She is an ordained minister who lives with her family in Charlotte, NC and attends Central Church of God.
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Sheila discusses how God can sometimes place us in difficult situations or circumstances because He needs us to be a willing vessel for Him to use. Sheila lives in Jamestown, NY and attends Realife Church.
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By Nneka Collins
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B A when W. GI decided to make was a teenager room in my heart for Jesus. At that time, I remembered having an overabundance of emotions running through me. I wanted to jump, run, and fall to my face all at the same time. But in the moment, I could not decide what to do. I just stood there with my hands raised and tears flowing down my face. I was honored that such a big God sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to save me! I was full of joy and overwhelming delight – never wanting the feeling to end. Once I was coherent enough to listen to the church mother congratulate me on my decision to live for the Lord, she said something that immediately knocked the wind out of me. She told me one of the things I needed to do as a Christian was to pray every day. I knew about prayer because my parents prayed all the time. I come from a family of people who prayed consistently, but up to that point, I had grown quite comfortable living and depending exclusively on their prayers. Hearing that it was now my responsibility to pray every day was intimidating. It seemed like a tall task and I was not sure I could handle it; but I did not want to fail. It was my turn to join the ranks of those in my lineage who knew the value of prayer. But I did not want to just pray—I wanted to be a prayer warrior. I knew then that I had to embark on a prayer journey to make sure that I was effective in my prayer life. As a warrior, you have to understand there is a constant battle between the forces of good and evil. The bible says that
(Eph. 6:12 KJV). A fight is happening whether we see it or not. And the best way to win this spiritual battle is through strategic prayer. Furthermore, we must use our weapons, weapons which (2 Corin. 10:4 ESV). Prayer is the arsenal that you’ll need in every battle. A warrior’s training, therefore, begins with an active prayer life and a growing personal relationship with God.
“As a warrior, you have to understand there is a constant battle between the forces of good and evil.”
So what are some ways to activate your prayer life and grow a relationship with God? • Make Prayer a Priority. Communicating with God through prayer daily is an intimate way to connect with Him and strengthen your arsenal for battle. • Read your Bible. Reading and meditating on the Word of God is also important. This will strengthen your faith and build hope during the fight. Romans 10:17 (NASB) says, God’s Word is full of wisdom, instruction, hope, encouragement,
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strength and promises! But you have also our offensive weapon. It diverts, deflects, to know what the Word says in order to and destroys the enemy before he can attack. understand what it can do. Now that you’re praying daily, meditating on His Word, and fully dressed in your spiritual • Speak the Word. We have been given the armor, it is important to know about the fight authority to speak the Word of God, allowing ahead of you. Ask yourself these questions: us to be effective in battle (Mark 11:22-23). Who are you praying for? What are you praying In the book, for? And what is the expected outcome? , Dr. Myles Munroe says These answers will guide you to the scriptures “prayer is a means by which we give heaven you need. With God's Word, you can initiate a permission to interfere on earth.” Earth and devastating, direct attack on the specific areas the principalities and powers of darkness, where you want God to move. The enemy and even angels, are watching to see what was fighting you, but now you have waged we will do with the authority that is given war with your prayers. You are fighting back, to us. Are we going to possess it? Are we peeling back layer after layer, headed to your going to rule over it? Are we going to cast it breakthrough. God hears your prayers, but down? Are we going to cast it out? Are we waging war takes time, work, and stamina. Do going to take it back? Or are we going to not quit! Do not give up! The more you pray, cower away and run in fear? When in battle, the closer you get to your answer, blessing and there is no time or room for doubt. You have reward. Remember that you have been given to believe that you have gained what you the authority, so make prayer a priority! asked for and expect God to move! • Armor Up! A warrior never goes to battle without his armor. Just the same, prayer warriors put on spiritual armor to protect areas of sensitivity from attack. Ephesians 6:11-17 guides us on how to put on our armor for proper spiritual protection. The belt of truth helps to discern a lie and steer us away from deception. The breastplate of righteousness protects our heart from the issues of life that will distract us and weigh us down. Our feet are prepped with the gospel of peace giving us assurance that whatever comes our way, God will see us through. Holding the shield of faith repels doubt from settling in our hearts, while the helmet of salvation protects our mind and gives us confidence in Christ. Last but certainly not least, you have to take hold of the sword of the spirit—which is the active Word of God. His Word is our defensive weapon. It shields, shelters, and safeguards us against the attacks of the enemy. It is
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City, State: Fort Mill, SC Favorite After Church Activity? Brunch and Exploring New Neighborhoods Favorite Family Vacation? Kauai, Hawaii Favorite Holiday? Thanksgiving SUBSCRIBE .COM family: Balanced yourAT OUTPOURMAGAZINE One word to describe
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Outpour Magazine: Tell us a little bit about your family: Who are the Manns? Miah Manns: This is a question that a lot of families should really ask themselves; I feel like we “know” who we are but we don’t always write it down, communicate it and really think about it. What both of us agreed on, is that we are two very different individuals that came together by the love of God, who orchestrated our paths to cross. We are a fun and loving couple that enjoys being around each other, and we also enjoy our personal space. We complement each other, as we do understand each other’s personality - how God has created us to be different but still allow us to come together to build our family, to build something special and dynamic. The Word says that once you are married, you are one flesh (Matt. 19:5), but I was telling Ralph that it’s sometimes hard to talk about us as one unit. One of our counselors said “you’ve been by yourself longer than you have been married.” But we choose to work on being selfless and becoming one, which is a daily decision that takes work and commitment. Since we are ever changing, [to come] together as one flesh - well, that takes constant nurturing, adjustments, check-ins and communication to really figure out who we are as one flesh. Another thing we also try to remember is that whatever we say and do impacts and affects the other person, and that we represent each other. The bond and connection we have through marriage, you have to be mindful of every little thing so that you are not breaking apart or dividing what God has unified and wants to make stronger. And we are most definitely here for each other and have each other’s back. Ralph Manns: I like my wife’s broad answer because I don’t think you can write it in pen and say “this is who you are” because there is always
going to be something that changes, that you need to adapt to whether it be career, family situations, or life in general. I agree that through it all, you stick with each other. We both come from strong family backgrounds and are very family oriented people. We love to spend time with our family. That’s kind of who we are. And one day, my wife will be a good ol' Southern woman (laughs). OM: How long have you been married and how did you guys meet? Together: Seven years RM: It was during December and at the time I was working at TSA. I was at the [airport] checkpoint and she was flying out as a passenger. When I saw her, I just felt some interest there. I actually saw her before she saw me. I was at work so I had to be professional. It just so happened that I had to check her bag and I noticed she went to Winston-Salem State University. This school was in the same conference as my school, Johnson C. Smith University. This sparked up a conversation and throughout the conversation I got to ask her where she was flying to. She lived in Charlotte and was working, doing some business stuff. After that conversation, I could tell we had similar interests. But again, I was at work so I couldn’t ask for her number. So I said “I hope I see you around.” And just left it at that. When she left, I went to get the airport bin and as I lifted it up, there was a business card underneath. I didn’t know if it was intended for me but I took it that way. I reached out to her on facebook and the rest is history. OM: What have been some of your best memories as a couple or family? RM: The birth of Ariah, that whole weekend was memorable. People always say the baby will be here before you know it, in the pregnancy process. It was beautiful as well watching Miah transform during the pregnancy. That nine months went quick. And that weekend was crazy because the whole time Miah was saying “I can’t deliver the baby this weekend.” Her parents were out of town
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and wouldn’t be back until Tuesday. And I kept thinking, okay, but whatever happens happens. It’s out of our control. At the time she was having Braxton Hicks contractions so we knew it was getting close. That Saturday, I woke up and just wanted to get out of the house, get in the car and do some exploring. So we got in the car and grabbed a quick bite to eat, went to a local park and walked around. Then we drove even further to a nice college town area, and walked about 30 minutes. That’s when Miah had her first really big contraction. And we were like, “well I guess we should go home.” And sure enough she started contracting in regular 30 minute intervals. That night, she wanted to get some Chinese food a buffet. She wanted that to be her last meal before the baby came (laughs). MM: I wanted to eat. I wanted a variety and I wanted to throw down (laughs). RM: So we ate and then went home. Some time overnight her water broke. She had already planned to labor at home, so we didn’t rush to the hospital. We called the midwife and she told us we could wait a few hours. We went in and the whole day I watched her be a wonder woman, a rockstar. She told me that she did not want to take any medicine, she wanted to do it naturally. That was her goal and to watch her, she knocked it out of the park. Eight hours after we got there, Ariah was born. My parents were there and it really was a joyous occasion. MM: We have so many great memories, but I am so happy he shared this one. OM: How has your faith been foundational in your family’s life? MM: We both grew up, as they say, “in the church” and it’s always been an important part of our lives individually before we came together. And that was something that I prayed for even before Ralph found me and pursued me - that the man I would marry would have a solid foundation of faith, his
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own walk and belief. It’s so important to have that individual baseline and understanding of faith and have a personal relationship with Christ. I wanted someone that I could openly talk to, worship freely around and grow closer to God with. And one thing we agreed to do is never compare our relationship and who we are to other couples. Sometimes this can be difficult - but we realize that everyone’s story and background is different. Rather we want to seek first what God has for us, our family and that is what we should be focused on. Prior to us getting married, it was God ordained that we were going through a relationship series at our church when I met Ralph. I had done relationships all wrong in the past - not God’s way - and with me getting knowledge, clear instruction and deciding to actually apply it, I really think this set our relationship apart. Knowing how to truly date; to set boundaries; knowing how to abstain; knowing how to seek God first, ask for wisdom, get His direction AND THEN moving forward step-bystep. And to understand more about God's love, more about myself and each other. Trusting God and having faith has been very important in our relationship and our lives. Even when we started dating and going to church, having a strong network of believers around you and how God connects you with different people at stages of your life that you need....I don’t see that as a mistake.
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RM: It’s very important to have a foundation of Christ in your relationship. It’s how we kicked off our relationship. I grew up in the church, but outside of my home church in Atlanta, I wasn’t consistently attending church when we met. But I know that was one of the things that grounded me in our relationship - when she introduced me to her church and helped me reconnect with God. We went through Christian based premarital counseling and continued seeing a counselor 8
Photos provided by the Manns Family
years in. I think that is so key. So many people try to give you advice but you have to ask yourself where is that advice coming from? Is it coming from the Word or from man? That’s why having that foundation is key, to be able to decipher and discern. It’s not about having all the answers to the test but knowing how to navigate through these various things life throws at you. You can think you will have the perfect family and perfect relationship, but there is always something that is going to come up - that will test you or challenge you or uproot your norm. Even if there is no one to get advice from, we can always look up to God and trust Him to guide our steps.
I’ve learned to take a step back and truly just enjoy each day, live each moment. Ralph has taught me this. We were actually on one of our vacations when he said this to me as I started talking to him about “where should we go next.” He said “why can’t you just live in this moment right now.” For him to give me this perspective brings me back to that word of “balance” and how we are constantly evolving and becoming one flesh. It also brings me great joy and comfort that we have faith in God and are believers, especially in a season like this. There are so many people that are trying to understand everything and God already knew and knows what is going to happen (Ecc. 8). In that, we have peace and not the spirit of fear (2 Tim 1:7). I really don’t know how people are making it out here without God. There’s so many things that have hit us the last few months that could have broken us, and I am just thankful that we can turn to God and know that He has us, covers us and protects us - whatever is happening or whatever is going to happen, we just walk in faith and not fear. I am so grateful that it was instilled in me growing up and we have continued to walk in that faith even now as a couple. And will help Ariah grow and learn to have that relationship for herself, especially in times like these. Everything is so unpredictable, especially after you have a baby. We had a lot of plans for after Ariah was born, but God was like nope...be still. We plan but ultimately God decides the outcomes. Instead of being upset or living in the “woe is me,” I am embracing this season and looking for what God is revealing. This isn’t always comfortable for someone like me, but I know it's necessary.
OM: How would you describe this season in your family’s life?
OM: You recently had a baby girl, Ariah Naomi. What has been the biggest adjustment being new parents?
MM: We just try to take one day at a time. I am definitely a planner and visionary and in this season
RM: The biggest adjustment was being even more selfless. Of course you have to be when you get
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married - that’s a part of being married - but we didn’t have kids and we had the wiggle room to balance it out. I could still have my fun, do my own thing and then we can come together as a couple and have some quality time, to keep the love tank full. But now with the baby - all the focus and attention is on her and at times it can be draining. It can be a lot and everything else can get pushed to the backburner because we are so focused on the baby and making sure she’s taken care of, meeting all her needs. Figuring out how to balance that and our quality time as a couple, that was the biggest adjustment for me. We had a big gap of time being married without kids and were able to have more freedom and fun before (laughs). OM: It’s a different type of fun now (laughs).
watching her develop, because so much has happened in eight short months. Miah also mentioned that she noticed how people light up when they see Ariah - family and friends - even though it’s been toned down due to Covid. But especially spending time with our parents and how much they enjoy being grandparents. Just watching her develop, even in the little things, like the first time she smiled. I experienced a real joy in that moment. We prayed to God to be parents. When we lost our first child, it was heartbreaking, but we continued to trust that God would grant us the desire to be parents. We knew that if God blessed us with a child, that He had already equipped us to get through any
OM: What are your hopes, prayers and dreams for your daughter, for her future? And what advice would you give new parents? MM: The prayer that we have as parents is for God to show us who He has created her to be and that we focus in on that. There are so many things people can get into and paths that they can go down, and I personally don’t want her to waste time - because God has already designed and defined her life. So why work against that plan. My prayer as her parents is that we can pour into her and
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RM: Some of the best moments have been
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with Ariah? What have been some challenges? And how has God helped you through them?
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OM: What have been some of the best moments
MM: I agree that before God allowed us to become parents He equipped us with what we needed to be Ariah’s mom and dad. Making sure we are staying in constant communication, and being patient and flexible is key. She is developing and evolving so rapidly, and there’s so much information out there... it can be overwhelming. We’ve had to take a step back, and ask “God, what do you want us to do? How do you want us to apply this knowledge? What should we be doing in this season for Ariah and what should we be doing as a couple?” Just to make sure we stay together and in sync. Being a first time mom, I’ve done a lot of research. We've had to tell ourselves that it’s fine to try what you are learning but if it doesn’t work, you can change it. I know I said it, but I am a planner and my biggest challenge was, and at times still is, that I can’t plan and predict everything. At times, I was even blaming myself for things I thought Ariah was supposed to be doing based on my research. But Ralph reassured me that I don’t have to carry that burden. God has helped me by showing me how to apply more grace. God has also blessed us with a great network of friends and other parents. To be able to lean in and listen to wise counsel of families that we admired and saw the work that went into parenting is priceless. And we knew that if we needed those individuals, that they were there, in a tangible way.
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fun. Now we have to plan it out - can’t just pick up and go so readily.
challenge. He also gave us great examples in our parents. Both of our parents have been together for over 70 years combined, and they both worked in tandem to raise the kids.
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RM: Yeah we can’t have that spontaneous type of
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support her dreams, goals and aspirations that align with what God has already predestined them to be. I was just reading her the book “Parker Looks Up.” The mom was telling her little girl that she had endless possibilities; she was not stifled because she was a woman or because of her race. I want Ariah to understand that those things are not going to define what she is able to do and become. RM: Our prayer for her future is for the country, for the world. We are in some crazy unprecedented times and don’t know what the future holds. We pray for a more unified world because we have a lot of issues. And I think that is what every parent thinks about - the legacy we can leave for our children, to make the world a decent place for our kids so they can accomplish their dreams and goals. We don’t want to worry about living in chaos. For new parents, I would say going to the classes and reading the books was helpful for us; but at the end of the day you are dealing with a flesh and blood human being. Grown-ups are unpredictable so what makes you think that a baby would be any different? Yes, you may try one thing one day and the very next day you try the same thing and it doesn’t work at all and it may never work again (laughs). And there are some things you have to stay consistent with and persevere with, like sleep training. But you have to stick to it in order for it to work. You have to see it through and keep pushing. Remain flexible, adaptable and attentive to your baby. Anytime you are trying to teach a baby anything, it’s going to take consistency. And please remember that every child is different. MM: I want to encourage couples to go through preparental counseling, [just like you would]
go through premarital counseling because there are so many things we just don’t talk about before becoming parents or even expanding our families. After I found out I was pregnant, I immediately started thinking and talking about gender reveals, baby showers, nursery themes...you know the fun stuff. But when we met with our counselor, we were able to talk about who we were as a married couple and why that unit needs to stay strong. We got to discuss deeper topics like how we would deal with sleep deprivation, baby-blues, selfcare and making sure you have time for yourself individually, as a couple, and individual time with the baby. It was extremely important for us to go to counseling, which helped us with having those conversations up front. I also would advise expecting parents to set boundaries. We have love and support from family and friends, but you all have to determine how much do you want them to be around and involved. Ultimately, you are the parents and you really do have the final say. Don’t let anyone pressure you or make you feel like you are inadequate as a parent. Even if what you decide to do is not the “norm” or you get advice and don’t apply it, again you have to make that decision. We accept the help and advice, but how we apply it is going to be up to us. Remember, God has equipped you to be this baby’s parent in this time and in this season. - OM
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Have you ever looked at your child and thought, “Lord, where have I gone wrong?” “Where have I messed up?” or “Why me?” These are questions I have asked myself several times over the last five and a half years of parenting. You see friend, in the midst of parenting we can lose focus of the goal to represent Christ well to our children, and become weary. In these moments, we are more likely to find ourselves asking these questions, and viewing our children as a burden, rather than as a reward from the Lord. Recently, I had one of these moments. As I carried my grumpy, screaming toddler down the stairs after a nap, I tried to remain calm. However, as time ticked on, my patience began to wear thin. I tried to figure out why he was screaming, what he needed, and how I could best console him. The more I tried, the more he kicked and screamed. I questioned, “Lord, why me?” As soon as I asked this question, I felt the Holy Spirit respond with Psalm 127:3 —
It is through our failures as parents that we are able to see our need for Jesus. It is only through His love, grace, guidance, wisdom, and power through the Holy Spirit that we can parent our children in a way that is holy and pleasing to the Lord. The beginning verses of Psalm 127 show us that whatever we do, if we lean on our own strength and wisdom, it will all be in vain. We cannot parent the way God designed without first leaning on Him. "
(Psalm 127:1-2 NIV) Lord, did I hear you correctly? My grumpy, screaming, and hitting toddler is a reward? How can that be? As I sat in this verse for a few days, marinating and praying, I felt like the Lord was revealing ways in which children are a reward, even when they misbehave, disrupt sleep, or blatantly disobey.
Children Show us our Need for Jesus Through parenting, God reveals to us that we are as much a sinner as our children, and just as much in need of a Savior. The perfect parent does not exist, and if one did, there would have been no need for Jesus to die a death on the cross that He did not deserve, for a debt we could not pay.
Additionally, there has been and will continue to be times in our children’s lives where we cannot meet their needs as parents. However, we serve a big God who can meet and fulfill all of our children’s needs. The Lord shows us this through His word in Philippians:
(Philippians 4:19 NIV) Lastly friend, take heart, because even though we make mistakes as parents, the Lord tells us that His mercies are new each day. Our children will have wounds from us as parents because we too are wounded; but God will redeem our children, just as He is redeeming us.
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(Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV)
Children Teach us Humility
(1 Peter 5:5 NIV) When we make mistakes as parents, we are able to show our children how big God’s grace is by humbling ourselves before them to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and repent. This models reconciliation and restoration to our children, and teaches them to have a heart of repentance.
(Acts 3:19 NIV) Additionally, we are able to teach our children about sin by humbling ourselves, and showing them our own sin. If we openly confess our sin and repent, they will learn to confess and repent their sin. On the contrary, if they witness us continually hiding our sin, they will learn to hide their sin. The best way for our children to understand their own sin is for us to show them ours.
Perseverance Through Parenting Sanctification is God’s will for the Christ follower. We are to be set apart from sin towards righteousness. In other words, we are being shaped into who God created us to be — looking more and more like Christ.
mold us into who He created us to be. In the book of James, James tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds, because it is these trials that God uses to make us mature and complete. This testing of our faith results in perseverance.
(James 1:2-4 NIV) Additionally, in the book of Romans, Paul also tells us to have glory in our sufferings because God uses these difficulties to mold us into who God has created us to be.
(1 Thessalonians 5:23 NIV) None of the challenges we face as parents are wasted. In fact, God uses each challenge to
(Romans 5:3-5 NIV)
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Parents Get to Join God’s Mission by being Ambassadors As Christian parents, we are ambassadors of Christ for our children. Generally speaking, an ambassador is someone who represents a country in a foreign land. In Corinthians and Ephesians, Paul shows us that (2 Corinthians 5:20 NLT)
(Ephesians 6:19-20 NIV) We have been approved by God, and given the Holy Spirit to represent Christ. Friend, every time your sweet little baby wakes up, or your children disobey or fight, or your teenager makes a grave mistake, see it not as a burden; rather, persevere in faith, using the grace given to us by God. This grace provides the opportunity to live on mission and to represent Christ well to our children. How we respond to our children, even in their mess, should be in a way that reflects Christ and His love towards them. Remember, friend, it is love that will lead our children to repentance, not condemnation. As we continually reflect Christ, we plant seeds in our children’s hearts. It is not our job as parents to cultivate those seeds, but rather God’s. In Paul David Tripp’s book, he offers two types of parenting: ownership parenting and ambassadorial parenting. When we parent our children in a way that reflects control, we are in a place of ownership parenting. Ownership parenting operates from a place of what we want for and from our children. It is parenting out of our
pride and own strength. However, ambassadorial parenting operates from a place of representing Christ well to our children, which is our mission as parents. We are called to be His hands and feet — even in the midst of parenting. Prayer:
MEET THE LEADERS OF T RANSFORMATION CHURCH
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Meet Dr. Derwin and Vicki Gray of Transformation Church in Indian Land, SC.
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They talk about their ministry’s vision, Dr. Gray’s new book and bible study “The Good Life,” and the role of the church in today’s society.
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Outpour Magazine: The vision of Transformation Church is “to be a multiethnic, multigenerational missionshaped community that loves God completely (Upward), ourselves correctly (Inward), and our neighbors compassionately (Outward).” Can you talk about God’s heart for the body of Christ to exemplify these characteristics? Our vision comes straight from the Bible, specifically the Great Commission and Great Commandment. When Jesus said, “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind…and you shall love your neighbor as yourself ” (Matt. 22:37-39), this shows upward, inward, and outward love. First, we love God completely. Out of that love, we learn to love ourselves correctly, which means we see ourselves as God sees us. The overflow of that is to love our neighbors compassionately. There is a vertical love [towards God] which leads to a horizontal love [towards others]. Later, when Jesus told his disciples to go and make disciples of all nations and all people, baptizing and teaching (Matt. 28:19-20), it shows how God’s family is made up of people from multiple ethnic groups and all ages. We are united by His blood and given the same mission. This is God’s heart. In fact, it has always been God’s heart as we see God promising to make Abraham the father of many nations. OM: Dr. Gray, you have a new book out which focuses on entitled the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5:3-12. I love how you state that “the Beatitudes are a manifesto of hope that enables humanity to reimagine how beautiful and life-giving our species could be under the rule and reign of King Jesus” (p.188). Please talk to us a little more about your book, about this manifesto of hope, and why this New Testament message still matters today. So many people are chasing happiness. They’re looking for happiness in their jobs, relationships, and money. Right now,
specifically, we are experiencing a pandemic. People think happiness is out of reach because of all the chaos and uncertainty that surrounds us. Our happiness, however, is not based on our surroundings, but on Jesus and the peace He gives us. We are not swayed because He is a solid foundation. As we are being conformed more into His image, we are discovering true happiness. And there’s something about experiencing hardship and suffering that really conforms us to His image. The more we look like Christ, the more we experience happiness, because happiness and holiness are two sides of the same coin. OM: According to the Amplified Bible Commentary, The Sermon on the Mount wasn’t written “as the way of salvation for the lost, but as the way of life for the children of the kingdom.” How might this challenge someone’s previous understanding of the Beatitudes and why should believers embody the Beatitudes in their daily living? As believers we are being conformed to the image of Christ, meaning every day we look a little bit more like Him. The Beatitudes show what Christ looks like. As we look at the Beatitudes we should strive to live them out because the more we embody them, the more we will look like Christ. OM: You mentioned the act of reconciliation, specifically in Ch. 8 of your book. Can you talk more about this ideal, of how we can be reconciled first to God and reconcilers of peace and love to others? God the Father created a way for us to be reconciled to Him through His Son, Jesus. He then gives us the ministry of reconciliation. Because we have the upward and inward peace, we can now have outward peace with others. It’s important to receive peace from the Father before we can truly have peace with others.
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OM: Vicki, recently you led a virtual women’s bible study entitled “For Her” that walked through the book of Esther. Hundreds of women joined this study! Can you please talk about the timeliness of the study and why God put that particular story on your heart? We had been wanting to start a women’s ministry at TC for some time. We felt the Holy Spirit move us in that direction and were making plans to have a women’s worship night to kick off women’s small groups. In the midst of COVID, plans had to change. We knew we still wanted to create a connection point for women, so we moved our study online. We had no idea God would bring hundreds of women from all over the country. The story of Esther is powerful for many reasons. I wanted to be able to walk through a study with our women that would encourage them. Also, the context of the Esther story [was timely], with the challenges and tension she had to experience as a woman, [yet] she lived on mission for the task God set before her. She was living “in such a time as this” for the purpose of reconciliation and healing of her people group.
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OM: Can you also talk about God emboldening “modern day Esthers” in and outside of the church - to be salt and light for the kingdom - in “such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14) The ministry of reconciliation is one that’s been important throughout scripture. It’s important that all women study the Bible, learn and be reminded of our mission so that we can go out into the world fulfilling our purpose. OM: Lastly, what is the role of the church in today’s tumultuous society and how can the church - specifically the body of Christ - move forward during and after this pandemic? As the body of Christ, we have always had the same mission. Our mission comes from the Great Commission. We are to be peacemakers, gospel preachers, living as one family, and showing unity in our diversity. We need to lean into our identity and purpose in a more intentional way. We can’t become distracted by the chaos but must fix our eyes on the Cross. -OM
“Our happiness...is not based on our surroundings, but on Jesus and the peace He gives us...He is a solid foundation. As we are being conformed more into His image, we are discovering true happiness.”
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our two young daughters, bounced into the 3D ultrasound facility. We entered bundled up in nerves and excitement, imagining whether our hopes for blue would come true or if we would be blessed with another swaddle of pink and bows. I had been ravaged by intense morning sickness that had recently subsided, allowing me to climb out of the fog of misery and relish in the quickening sensations that had begun. With plans of “gifting” the gender announcement to our families for Christmas we were quite ready to hear the news ourselves. The technician roved her wand around my growing belly and grew quiet, and the world around me began a slow motion reel. Words traveled at me like sound bubbles that burst as they reached my ears and imprinted into my heart.
The wind kicked up and stirred the ashes from the fire pit. Leftovers from the previous night’s family time scattered across the patio and yard with each gust. I sat watching the dispersion with an aggravation; a mess being created from the worthless ruins blowing around me. Then the Holy Spirit began to nudge my heart. Ashes represent a couple of things in the Bible. The first is repentance. The second is grief. Grief is what I want to share about today. As I sat there on my patio, I observed how ashes are useless leftovers born out of an intense burning process. It takes heat and flames to create ashes. When we look at ashes we can see ruin, sadness, or something worthless. We can see something that’s capable of being blown around and scattered. Or we can surmise that what was created through fire can produce beauty. It’s been almost 8 years since I watched beauty bloom from my own ashes: a journey through a marriage reconciliation and two miscarriages that left me nearly scattered and ruined. On a bitter cold and rain-drenched evening in December of 2012, my husband and I, along with
My dreams of a baby boy were snatched away quickly despite taking years and months to hope for. And for every spark of joy I previously had, in return there was a test, a clinical explanation and finally, surgery.
It was confirmed that our baby was, in fact, male. And that he stopped growing at 18 weeks; and yet I carried him for 21. It was as if my body, mirroring my heart, wouldn’t let go. I barely escaped the surgery and recovery with my life. For that alone, I will always be thankful to God - that he spared me to enjoy my daughters. The dark cloud that followed, however, would be harder to shake off. For, just two short months later, we would conceive again…only to lose our baby again. It was dark and growing darker. But when God refines us through fire, something beautiful emerges. Before our first loss occurred, God spoke the name Isaac to my husband during a time of prayer – for which we wanted to name our son. It felt tragic after losing him that his name meant “he will laugh.” I felt anything but laughter in those cloudy days. A few weeks after I had recovered physically
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from our first loss, I was in the car with our daughters who were 5 and 4. The subject of “the baby” came up. My 5-year-old reminded me that the baby was with Jesus in Heaven. They were so young that we only shared minimal details with them. But God kissed me that day to spark a joy that I thought had burned away completely. My 4-year-old asked me, “Mommy, what’s our baby’s name?” I answered with a simple, “he doesn’t have a name because he had to go back and live with Jesus so soon.” To which my 5-year-old responded, “Yes he does! Jesus told me. His name is Isaac.” I almost wrecked the car. How could she know? We never shared our name choice with anyone. How could she guess the very name we had chosen? The one God had spoken only to my husband? She couldn’t. But God knew I needed a reason to rejoice again. After the conversation with my girls, I was reminded of the story of Abraham and Isaac. And this story was so redemptive that I knew God wasn’t finished with me. I was reminded of how Isaac’s life was a miracle and that even still, God required Abraham to sacrifice his son. Yet, in the dark moment, God provided another way and God’s glory and sovereignty was revealed (see Gen. 21 & 22). I was reminded that even though Abraham felt broken in the journey, he laughed again because God’s promise was greater. So, how do we move from ashes to joy? •
We remember God’s PROMISES. As the psalmist reminds us, things might seem desperate in the night; but God’s favor lasts a lifetime (Psalm 30:4-5). Remember the Lord’s goodness to you. Remember His faithfulness. Read the Word and all it promises to the children of God.
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We offer PRAISE in exchange for feelings of grief. When you cannot think of any reason to praise, pray for God to remind you about the day of your salvation (Psalm 51:12). No matter what today seems like, the day He saved you was a joyous one! Lord, restore the joy of our
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salvation today. Help us to remember our redemption. We praise You because You are worthy of it. •
We remember that when all we have to offer is BROKENNESS, that’s where God meets us. The days of burnt offerings have long passed. Jesus made the sacrifice so that we don’t have to. God doesn’t want our burned offering. He just wants us to come with our brokenness and willing heart ready to be restored. (Psalm 51:1617)
Today, instead of covering yourself in the ashes of grief, take your broken and scattered pieces to Jesus. He is faithful to restore and bring new joy. Maybe you’ve had a falling out with a friend or your marriage is falling apart. Or you may have wandering children who need redemption. In those times, revisit the original verse from Isaiah 61:
(Isaiah 61:3-4).
“Today, instead of covering yourself in the ashes of grief, take your broken and scattered pieces to Jesus. He is faithful to restore and bring new joy. “
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This is the time to look for the restoration of the Lord. Look for beauty, joy, and praise to replace despair and mourning. I love the analogy at the end of that passage about the oaks. They are planted to display the Lord’s splendor; a picture of restoration for devastation, their roots running deep to bring glory to God. Jeremiah 17:8 NLT illustrates this as well.
Dear friends, let us not be bothered by the heat in our lives. Let us dig the roots of our heart deep into God’s Word, be firmly planted, and allow the burning to produce something beautiful. When it felt like all I had left were useless and scattered ashes, God created beauty. God burned away my doubt that He was not only capable, but sovereign to reconcile all that I had lost. In 2015, we welcomed a beautiful and healthy baby boy into our family. He is named for our family - a name that means “turning” or “fuller” and a middle name after his father that means “gift from God.” God turned what I thought was devastation and ruin into beauty. He gifted us with a tangible restoration for our loss. The work He truly did, however, was to restore my joy through His promises, by my praise, and even in my brokenness. He resurrected beauty from the ashes.
F A I T H
I squeezed my tired, swollen feet into my fuzzy oversized winter boots. It was a typical cold day in October. I had pushed through bouts of intense discomfort in the months prior, but this morning, I knew that I could no longer ignore my body’s signals. I shuffled into the doctor’s office, because taking actual steps was too painful. As the diagnoses was given, my eyes swelled up with tears. I would say that my faith in God was and still is solid, but in that moment, I felt completely blindsided. “Not me God,” I thought. My son had not yet celebrated his 2nd birthday. My oldest daughter had just started kindergarten, and my middle daughter had finally mastered the art of potty training. Instantly, thoughts of fear and uncertainty flooded my mind. What about my vision to open a dance school? My husband and I thought about our shared dreams and goals. This must be a misdiagnosis. “You may want to consider not dancing for a while,” the doctor stated. Anyone who knows me well knows that dance is my passion. An outlet during difficult seasons of life. A language that I often spoke when words failed me. To hear her utter those words, activated a fight in me. Out of my pain and whirlwind of emotions, arose a tiny mustard seed of faith. Faith to believe God for my healing. But also, faith to trust that He would hold my hand as me and my family walked through the process of healing together. I have no doubt that God is a healer. The bible tells us that (1 Peter 2:24). I am convinced that every promise in His Word is absolute truth. (2 Corinthians
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1:20 KJV). I have also witnessed His miracle working power on countless occasions. But what happens when He does not resolve our situation right away or the way we think He should? As frail human beings, we may find ourselves struggling with disappointment towards God. We wrestle with questions: “Why is this happening to me God?” Or “Maybe I don’t have enough faith?” We may even feel like the kid in the back of the classroom, whose hand God overlooked. Despite the challenges you may be facing - an illness, financial uncertainty, or a broken family - my dear friend, let me remind you that God is faithful. He loves you. Every challenge is an opportunity to know Him more and “how wide and long and high and deep” His love is for us (Ephesians 3:18). It is that agape love that is an anchor for our souls when the winds of life blow. Read His Word. Hide it in your heart. Feast on it when you are on the mountaintop, so that it will carry you through your valley seasons.
"Every challenge is an opportunity to know Him more and 'how wide and long and high and deep' His love is for us" (Ephesians 3:18). In my journey of believing God for the complete manifestation of my healing, I encouraged myself daily with the scriptures. I buried them in my heart. I stood on them, even at times when I felt weary in my flesh. One of my favorites is Psalm 18:28-33. It reminds us of how mighty our God is and the victory we have through Him, in the midst of trials and tribulations. Let’s break these verses down:
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Feed your faith with the Word of God, prayer and worship and you will starve your flesh.
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•
Jesus is forever interceding for you (Rom. 8:34). The greater one lives on the inside of you. Though the challenge you are facing may appear to be undefeatable, God will cause you to overcome odds in the natural realm as well as the spiritual realm.
•
Although we live in a fallen world, there is one thing we must remember: God is good. He is faithful. Allow your trials to draw you closer to Him, and not cause you to fall away.
•
Do not allow your trial to become your god. Sometimes we can place more focus on our challenges thereby exalting them over God.
If we allow God to, He will so beautifully choregraph our lives. God uses one of the most graceful, swift and intelligent animals to remind us of how invested He is in our victory. He is strategic at ordering our steps. He is faithful to complete the work He started in us, which has a far greater eternal reward than whatever earthly trial we face.
It has been four years since I received that diagnosis. Although I am still believing God for my healing, I have grown to know His amazing grace that changes everything. Not only am I dancing and teaching dance, I have added hiking, recreational kickball and biking. God may not remove your mountain right away. Sometimes, He may not remove it all. Instead He may cause you to climb on top and experience Him in all His fullness. Rest assured that He is for you and with you every step of the way. Prayer:
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UNITY IN THE BODY: NO SCHISMS ALLOWED Two important questions for every individual to search out is “What does God value?” Secondly, “What does God bless?” Understanding these important issues makes for great success in the Christian faith and in life in general. And having this clarified will empower you to run your race according to His will so that you do not run in vain. An Olympic track athlete must run according to the knowledge of a higher authority who set the parameters without ever asking the runner’s opinion. A major rule says that you must remain in your lane when competing in certain races. To leave the boundary of your lane will lead to disqualification. Who wants to labor in vain? To train and prepare for four years or four months, and be the fastest or the strongest, but still not receive the award because you went outside of the defined place would be devastating to any competitor. Therefore, having the answers to the two questions above will enable you to locate the coordinates of a place of favor, satisfaction, and blessing. This is an important perspective whether you consider yourself to be a religious person or just one who is conscious that there is a higher power. Consider this fact: “Truth does not cease to be truth, nor is it diminished in its value, because a person cannot see it properly or see it at all.” In the end, I hope that this article will help you to see the truth about unity properly. It is an important principle of life. It is important to dreamers, workers, coaches, entrepreneurs, youth, married couples, team-builders, visionaries, and managers; it is important to God. So, allow me to present my compelling argument here. It is this: “God hates division.” Also, “He has invested much power in unity.” Though we know that there are other forces
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that are refuting God’s will, His way is perfectly The verses list six things that the Lord hates established. No matter who disagrees, it will and then the seventh is an abomination. Please do not miss the distinction between the first six not change. and the seventh element because the writer is The Place of Blessing making a clear, intentional demarcation. He Division is the antithesis of the says that God hates six things, but the seventh Godhead (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) who thing is abominable – or is loathsome, wicked, are completely in union. We understand that and vile. That abominable thing is “the sowing division is the act, process, or an instance of of discord among brothers.” You see, the separating or keeping apart; it is separation or Father knows the potential for empowerment disagreement between two or more persons or and mission fulfillment when we access unity. groups, typically producing tension or hostility. He knows the thief who comes to steal, kill, On the contrary, unity is the quality or state and destroy all things pertaining to man’s of being joined together; oneness. Unity is blessedness and how Satan is after this power so important to God and made powerful by principle – to keep it from being activated in Him that He has commanded blessing in the our lives. place that unity abounds. Psalm 133:1-3 states God wants you and I to know, and to know it well, that division is unhealthy, unproductive, and ungodly. Hopefully, to know it is not just head knowledge, but is applied knowledge that would move us to fight against the works of darkness. His plan to divide and conquer is essentially an effort to have us surrender our members to the unfruitful works of darkness. So being intentional to be found on the right Unity is the place of the side of glory, the right side of history and even commanded blessing. That is worth restating! present day causes, matters to God. Who would not want to reside there? We know that there is a force at work that Keeping It Together The term that the Bible uses to reference consistently seeks to compromise the unity of family, friends, and the faithful. Satan has this ill-advised station and/or condition of forfeited his blessed place and misery loves heart and mind is “schism.” A schism is a company. The goal for all believers should be word that the Apostle Paul used periodically, to remain in harmony with the Lord’s will for but Jesus also used it and addressed the our lives, with their fellow man and thereby essence of its meaning. Jesus said that access God’s blessing.
On the Lord’s Side Proverbs 6:16-19 reads:
(Luke 11:17 KJV). The New Living Translation presents this principle also in a powerfully simple manner. It says,
(Luke 11:17 NLT). So, a schism is disharmony and disunity, not just a disagreement. It is separation from (emphasis mine). Although you just an organization or entity like a group, family, read it, allow me to explain the verses further. church, or movement with malice that is strong
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enough to lead to warfare. It is not simply a philosophical variance. Hear the words as written by the Apostle Paul to the Corinthian church: (1 Corinthians 12:25 KJV). Although he wrote it to the Corinthian church the message is applicable to the Church universal. The Church is a group that has wrestled over the ages with her defining features. By these features, boundary lines are formed to assist in properly identifying what is or what is not the Church. The Bible calls the Church the Body of Christ. That is highly intentional and strategic. God wants us to make a correlation so that we understand that we the Church should be symbiotic and systematic in our functioning. A schism is therefore the antithesis of what the body of Christ should be. A schism can be described as a dislocation. If you have ever experienced a shoulder, finger, or knee dislocation, you can probably relate to the pain it causes. These are joints in the body that must be united to be functional. Each joint, even each cell, was uniquely made to be together and to remain together, but pressure and being poorly positioned forces separation. The Church is called to be joined together in unity. Let’s join together to pray Jesus’ prayer found in John 17:20-23:
It was Christ’s immersion of Himself in prayer and His willful obeisance on the altar of sacrifice that empowered Him to remain synchronized with the Father, although He was shrouded in human flesh. He
understood this truth perfectly with merely 33 years of life on earth, while believers have failed to comprehend the power of oneness. The Church has had thousands of years of opportunity to get it right. Oh, how I pray that we will not choose the wrong side of this battle but will remember our ambassadorship for Christ above all else. The closer we get to the return of our Lord and Savior, the greater the tensions will become. He who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life has clearly shown us the way that we are to go.
"The Church is called to be joined together in unity."
Our need for grace and mercy is clarified to me more and more as I study His Word. I purpose to emulate the prayer life of Christ that I may rid myself of the human proclivity to embrace division. Choosing to embrace the culture of this world will lead to a schism from Christ. I know that we can rise above this temptation, but we will not be able to do so on our own. It must be a work of the Holy Spirit that raises our specter from the low hanging fruit of the flesh to the fruit of the Spirit. Because in the Kingdom of God it is simple – no schisms allowed! My fervent prayer is that the day is near when the Church can clearly see His will and do it – no matter the cost. May we value what the Lord values and ever remain unified – for that is the position of blessings. Lord help us to find the place of unity!
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What is the purpose of prayer? And how can we use it to commune with God? Learn more about prayer and its importance in our daily lives/
There are numerous “worldly” labels that so many of us are trying to attain; however, as Christians, we must be reminded that we were made in the image of God and that our true identity is so much more than what we think, how we “self-identify,” or even how others view us. And perhaps our entire perspectives will change – for the better. The bible says
(Gen. 1:27 NIV). If we truly believe that we, Christians, the beloved sons and daughters of God, are made in the very image of God, then isn’t our birthright, our inheritance, our very grounded in that image? What the bible is saying here in Genesis is that through creation God has performed a mirroring of Himself – IN US! By salvation and the cleansing of our sins through repentance, we too have access to the very image of God that formed Adam, Eve, and Jesus Christ Himself!
Does that not give you a boldness like never before? Doesn’t that diminish the trivialities of our current situations and self-perceptions? If it doesn’t now, hopefully it will – as long as you believe by faith, stand on God's Word and believe that you too have been created in the image of God Almighty.
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