OutreachNC January 2020

COMPLIMENTARY

JANUARY 2020 | VOL. 11, ISSUE 1

Aging Around the World: China

Intentional Eating: The Mediterranean Diet

Serving the Sandhills & Southern Piedmont

Cozy Cooking: Soups & Stews

JANUARY 2020 |

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| OUTREACHNC.COM

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features CONTENTS

34

ONC BOOK CLUB 2020: This year’s book list!

36

INTENTIONAL ORGANIZATION: A New Year’s Checklist

40

THE MEDITERRANEAN DIET: Chasing it Around the World

48

AGING AROUND THE WORLD: China

56

4

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SUNRISES AND SUNSETS: A photo essay by Brady Beck

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departments 10 12 14 16 18 20 26

28 30 32 62 65 66

CRAFTED: It’s good to be “fickle”!

Abegail Murphy

ASK THE EXPERT: Seeking Support Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA GENERATIONS QUESTION: What is one thing you can’t live without and why?

BRAIN HEALTH: The Power of Acceptance Karen D. Sullivan, Ph.D, ABPP

JANUARY: CELEBRATING DRIVIN’ FOR LUNCH: Sharing Favorite Foods Ray Linville COZY COCKTAILS NATIONAL HOT TODDY DAY (JANUARY 11)

VETERANS CORNER: Qualifications and Benefits Jim Pedersen

FAITH AFTER 50: Which wolf are you feeding?

The Rev. Colette Bachand

NATIONAL HOT BUTTERED RUM DAY (JANUARY 17)

GREY MATTER PUZZLES Crossword, Word Search, Sudoku

Some people say the hot toddy and the hot buttered rum are interchangeable, which is a shame. The word ‘rum’ is the obvious tell-tale sign of a significant difference.

When the British Royal Navy captured Jamaica in 1655, rum replaced

brandy as the sailor’s daily ration of alcohol, and thus a new love for rum was OVER MY SHOULDER: Ready or Not...

HEALTH COACHING: Setting for the New Year The hot toddy is believed to have been Goal created to disguise raw Scotch, born. which was pretty rough and indigestible in the 18th century. Sugar, AnnrumRobson Marcy Simpson, The base of the hot buttered is known as the ‘batter,’ and it’s added to the dates, saffron, cinnamon,LCSW nuts and mace were all tossed in to cover up

NATIONAL HOT BUTTERED RUM DAY (JANUARY 17) the taste.

Some people say the hot bourbon toddy and the buttered rummay are actually be a health remedy, as it is The in hot a hot toddy interchangeable, which is a shame. The word ‘rum’ is the obvious naturaldifference. decongestant (by dilating blood vessels, making it easier for tell-tale sign of a significant

a

PLANNING AHEAD: Financial Future Nathan Cherry cold and flu, since being

mucus membranes toindeal infection).

When the British Royal Navy captured Jamaica 1655,with rum replaced brandy as the sailor’sHot dailytoddies ration of alcohol, thus a new as loveafor rum wasfor have aand reputation remedy born. historically consumed on cold nights.

The base of the hot buttered rum is known as the ‘batter,’ and it’s added to the mug, along with theThe rum, psychological before the addition of boiling battershouldn’t is made up be overlooked. effects ofwater. a hotThe toddy of sugar, spices and According butter. to the Smithsonian Magazine, stress and anxiety can be

mug, along with the rum, before the addition of boiling water. The batter is made up of sugar, spices and butter.

OUTREACHNC’S PHOTO OF THE MONTH Anmany image to believed inspire During the Colonial period, Americans rum us to beall. nutritious Some people add softened vanilla ice cream to their ‘batter.’ We’re not turning our noses up at this suggestion. and beneficial to the body. The Colonialists were obviously smart cookies (and drinkers).

Brands of rum popular in recipes include Goslings, The Kraken Black COOKING SIMPLE: Soups and Stews Spiced Rum, Chairman’s Reserve and Appleton Estate. toddy works as a “...mild sedative or tranquillizer.”

Some people, in an attempt to make the drink more nutritious, use Some warm you up, body and soul!

During the Colonial period,recipes many Americansto believed rum to be nutritious Some people add softened vanilla ice cream to their ‘batter.’system, We’re notand turning harmful to the body’s immune a hot our noses up at this suggestion. and beneficial to theWilliam body. TheFaulkner Colonialistswas wereapparently obviously smart a fan cookies (and drinkers). added to his brilliance.

of the hot toddy. We think that

Brands of rum popular in recipes include Goslings, The Kraken Black Rumors abound as toEstate. where the hot toddy Spiced Rum, Chairman’s Reserve and Appleton

originally came from, some it the wasdrink themore brain-child Some people, in an suggesting attempt to make nutritious, of useDublin-born physician Robert organic coconut oil. Bentley We are notTodd, those people. known to prescribe his medicinal beverage of brandy, Emeril Lagasse’s recipe for hot buttered rum is oursyrup favoriteand and water, got white cinnamon, sugar the Hot Toddy.

organic coconut oil. We are not those people.

Emeril Lagasse’s recipe for hot buttered rum is our favorite and got some of us through some long winter nights.

RECIPES FEATURED THIS MONTH

some of us through some long winter nights.

A hot toddy is known as a hot whiskey in Ireland, just in case you’re a Dublin pub and want to get it right.

HOT BUTTERED ever RUM in RECIPE Ingredients Thebutter word toddy comes from the toddy • ¼ cup (half-stick) unsalted • ¼ cup packed dark brown thesugar sap of palm trees.

• 1 teaspoon cinnamon • ½ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg (if you’re fancy and have a nutmeg grater) • ¼ teaspoon ground cloves • 1/8 teaspoon salt Ingredients • 2/3 cup dark rum • 1 oz. bourbon • 2 cups water

drink in India, a fermentation of

HOT TODDY RECIPE • 1 tablespoon honey

• 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice (a squeeze works fine) Directions Combine the butter, brown sugar and spices into a batter • ¼ cup boiling water and refrigerate until firm. Spoon approximately 2 tablespoons of the butter mixture into a small mug. Pour 3 oz. of dark rum into the mug (filling it about halfway). Directions Top with boiling water, stir well and serve to guests Put the bourbon, honey and lemon juice into a 6-oz. mug huddled around a crackling fire. and top with hot water. Stir until honey is dissolved, and prepare to be soothed.

6

HOT BUTTERED RUM RECIPE

Ingredients • ¼ cup (half-stick) unsalted butter • ¼ cup packed dark brown sugar • 1 teaspoon cinnamon • ½ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg (if you’re fancy and have a nutmeg grater) • ¼ teaspoon ground cloves • 1/8 teaspoon salt • 2/3 cup dark rum • 2 cups water

Directions Combine the butter, brown sugar and spices into a batter and refrigerate until firm. Spoon approximately 2 tablespoons of the butter mixture into a small mug. Pour 3 oz. of dark rum into the mug (filling it about halfway).

Top with boiling water, stir well and serve to guests huddled around a crackling fire.

DRINKS

SOUPS / STEWS

ENTREES

Hot Toddy Page 22

Wonton Soup Page 26

Mushroom Almond Burger Page 44

Hot Buttered Rum Page 23

Hearty Chili with Sweet Cornbread Page 27

Cauliflower Shrimp and Grits Page 45

OutreachNC.com | JANUARY 2020

Martin Luther King Jr. Day January 15th “The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

“Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, just be a trail. If you can’t be a sun, be a star. For it isn’t the size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.”

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.”

“The beauty of genuine brotherhood and peace is more precious than diamonds or silver or gold.”

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. I have decided to love.”

JANUARY 2020 |

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from the editor It’s official: 2019 is behind us. Some of us are looking back in the rearview mirror, nostalgic and a little weepy the year is over. Some of us are looking straight ahead, barreling into 2020 with what can only be described as conviction.

I am firmly in the conviction camp.

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston wrote,

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

Here’s to 2020 bringing some answers.

Over in the ONC cottage, we’ve got plans for the new year that include examining aging from a global perspective in our series Aging Around the World, delving into how we survive and thrive with chronic health conditions, and hitting the road to explore historic buildings throughout the Sandhills region.

We’ve settled on our ONC Book Club list with a combination of fiction and nonfiction, and Jeeves is eating carrots on the regular to prepare his eyes. Speaking of Jeeves, we’re including him each month in the magazine, hidden in secret spots, waiting for readers to discover into which corner he may be nestled. It’s like a dignified, feline Where’s Waldo. Let us know when you spot him. He thinks of himself as quite the chameleon.

We’re also thrilled to have Brady Beck’s photography highlighted throughout the year in features as well as a monthly, single image to inspire reflection or simply remind us of the beauty of the world around us. Finally, we are continuing our coverage of local Hometown Heroes, interviewing and sharing stories of people who are working for the good of our communities without pomp or circumstance, just good, old-fashioned big hearts.

If that wasn’t enough, we’re also celebrating OutreachNC’s 10th anniversary, which warms our hearts and makes us all proud. We love having a spot in the community, telling stories and providing content focused on healthier, safer, happier second acts.

This month, join us as we explore Aging Around the World: China (p. 48), delve into the origins and benefits of the much-touted Mediterranean Diet (p.

40) and serve up hot toddies and hot buttered rums (p. 22) as well as soups and stews (p. 26) for cozy winter supper and sipping.

Editor-in-Chief Amy Phariss | Editor@OutreachNC.com Creative Director & Designer Sarah McElroy | Coalfeather Art and Design Ad Designers Stephanie Budd, Cyndi Fifield, Sarah McElroy Proofreaders Abegail Murphy, Margaret Phariss, Kate Pomplun Photography Brady Beck Contributors Colette Bachand, Brady Beck, Nathan Cherry, Ray Linville, Margaret (Mia) Lorenz, Abegail Murphy, Amy Natt, Crissy Neville, Jim Pedersen, Amy Phariss, Ann Robson, Jonathan Scott, Marcy Simpson, Karen Sullivan Publisher Amy Natt AmyN@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Sales Executive Kara Umphlett KaraU@OutreachNC.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie SusanM@AgingOutreachServices.com Circulation 910-692-0683 | info@OutreachNC.com OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-0683 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com

Finally, for full-on inspiration, Brady Beck lights the way with a photography series of sunrises and sunsets as the sun sets on 2019 and rises on 2020 (p. 56).

www.OutreachNC.com

As we embark on another year, let us be grateful for the chance to live with intention, enjoy small moments and embrace the community and people around us. With strong coffee, heaps of water and a cocktail in the evening, we can do just about anything.

OutreachNC is a publication of

Cheers,

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The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services.

Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited.

OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

TO the editor

I am slow at getting things done so just noticed that this is the August issue of your magazine...hmm. I suppose then that someone has already told you that the review of the book, The Hideaway, calls the female protagonist, a heroin.... not heroine. Kinda’ funny, because now a days many females (of any field) want to be identified by the male term or a gender neutral.

I did want to say thank you for the article from the lawyer on wills and estates. We are new (sort of) to NC and will need to have our wills done.

The article was most helpful.

Thanks, Sue G. I look forward to your book information in each issue. I saw that you reviewed a nonfiction book for November. I’m in three book clubs; we mostly read fiction. But I recently started reading a bit of nonfiction, including Inheritance

by Dani Shapiro - a memoir from an adult woman who found out through DNA testing that her father was not her biological father. Interesting story and well written. Thank you for including the book review section in Outreach; it’s my favorite part along with the crossword puzzle (although the crossword puzzles in Outreach are difficult!).

Jeanie R. Thank you for the articles on the opioid epidemic. So many of us have family struggling with addiction, and it’s a hard thing to talk about. How do you even start?

It’s a hard thing to read about and talk about, but it’s also a hard thing to live with, so we have to do something.

Thank you.

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Jim S.

Just wanted you to know how much we’re enjoying the cocktail recipes from your October issue! My husband is now a Whiskey & Ginger fan, and I’ve served the Apple Cider Mimosas to my book club twice!

Cheers, Louise R.

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advice

Our Aging Life Care ProfessionalsTM will answer any aging questions you may have.

ASK THE EXPERT

Email us your questions! info@OutreachNC.com

Seeking Support

by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA

&

10

My wife was diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia last year. We have been managing fairly well, but we are not able to have conversations like we used to and I am having to do everything around the house now. It gets lonely sometimes and my daughter suggested I go to a support group. I am not sure how I feel about talking to a room full of strangers. Do you think it would help and how would I find one?

You bring up a valid point. Who doesn’t love sharing their problems with a room full of strangers? As a support group facilitator for over 20 years now, I can honestly say that while support groups may not be the right fit for everyone, they can be very beneficial. Being a caregiver or dealing with a new diagnosis, can be very stressful and isolating. Sometimes listening to others share their stories and struggles can help you normalize your own. Support groups come in many shapes and sizes. Some are geared to a specific diagnosis (cancer, dementia, Parkinson’s), while others are more general (grief, caregiver). Some groups meet monthly and others meet weekly. Typically, a trained facilitator will serve as the point person and then other speakers or informational programs may be brought in to help group members connect to resources. One of the cornerstones of any support group is that information shared by

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participants is confidential. The facilitator should reinforce this to help participants feel at ease when sharing personal information.

It is very common to be apprehensive about showing up for the first time. It might help if you call and talk to the facilitator first and share a little about your situation. They can share some of the group dynamics and help determine if the group seems to be a good fit. Some groups also have participants who have attended routinely and are happy to speak to you individually, prior to coming to the group setting. Each group tends to take on its own personality, so if there is more than one in your area, you might visit a couple to see if one makes you feel more comfortable.

A typical session might include introductions, guided discussion and open sharing of current challenges or successes. You are not required to share and may be more comfortable just

listening and observing for a couple sessions. This is perfectly acceptable. You should also ask how long the meeting typically lasts; you can arrange someone to be with your wife at home if necessary. Some groups include sessions for the person diagnosed; you can ask this ahead of time as well.

There are many potential benefits people experience when they join a group. Everyone’s journey is different, but there tend to be some commonalities. Some will be at the beginning of the journey while others are further along. It can help to learn how other people have handled similar challenges. Some of the most creative ideas for coping emerge from support groups. It may be a new experience for you and your wife, but something others have already dealt with. There is a genuine understanding and empathy that occurs in a beautiful way. It provides a safe outlet to share how things have changed for you and connect with others who may be feeling the same way. There are tears in support groups but also a lot of laughter. I like to compare it to rowing a boat by yourself, to suddenly picking up a crew who speak the same language. Everyone is just doing their best to keep their head above water. Together you all manage to stay afloat. Connectivity is powerful; the support group can become an instrumental part of the safety net you are going to need in place.

There are a few resources you can utilize to find local support groups. A local hospital, department of aging, social services, care facility or private care management practice are likely to have information.

Churches may also offer or host groups. National or state organizations for the specific diagnosis also provide information on local groups and often help train facilitators. Some groups are listed in the newspaper or community calendars.

Do I think it would help? Absolutely. I suggest you go at least three times and then you can decide if you think it is the right fit and timing for you. It will get you out of the house, and at a minimum you will meet a few new people and learn about potential resources to help you and your wife as you continue to navigate this journey.

Readers may send questions to Amy Natt, an Aging Life Care ProfessionalTM, certified senior advisor and CEO of Aging Outreach Services.

She can be reached at amyn@ agingoutreachservices.com .

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Generations

OutreachNC asked adults and children our January question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

What is one thing you couldn’t live without and why?

My dog. She’s my best friend. She’s always happy to see me. – Bobby, 12 Coffee. I think it’s in everyone’s best interest we keep up that relationship. – Amy, 44 Football. I’m the only girl on the team, but that’s okay. I love it. – Kate, 7 People. They give me energy. And if people aren’t considered ‘things,’ then plants because they need me. – Bobbie, 71 Books. Even when the Internet goes out, I have my books. – Isabel, 14 My man cave. I get some peace and quiet and nobody says anything about watching car repair shows. – Bob, 67 Pens. They allow me to learn and draw. – Maggie, 14 Yoga. It keeps me calm and happy. I wish I’d known about it when I was a younger woman, especially when I was parenting and had kids in the house. I could have saved us all a lot of tense moments. – Kathy, 72 My cat. She is easy to care for but seems to know exactly when I need her to come out from her hiding spot and sit on my lap. It’s a comfort. – Jean, 62 The tree in my backyard, but I can’t tell you why. – Sean, 7 My church family. They’re there whenever I need help and when I don’t need help.

They’re just there, for the good and the bad. – Jim, 73

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March 26-29, 2020

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Bringing live professional theatre to the Sandhills since 2012!

JANUARY 2020 | OutreachNC.com 13

health

B R A I N H E A LT H

The Power of Acceptance: Living Well After Physical Injury

by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP

In Western societies, what we “do” often defines how we feel we are. The work we do and the roles we play often form our identity from being a “golfer” to a “walker.” Changes in our ability to do the things that previously defined us can be challenging, to say the least, and make us feel lost.

Fighting what is has its place in a physical recovery. The tough determination required to push through an intense therapy session will benefit you, no doubt, but there is also a place for acceptance at various points in your recovery. If you approach acceptance with the same tenacity that you approach other aspects of your recovery, it can have a truly transformational effect.

In various models of post-injury grief, acceptance is usually the final stage, where a person has come to terms with and accepted themselves as they are now.

Let’s not make the mistake of confusing “acceptance” with “giving up.” Acceptance is the non-judgmental openness to what is in the here and now and can improve your quality of life and your relationship with yourself and others.

Acceptance is a dynamic state of mind and not a permanent way most people feel. It comes and it goes. Some days, it feels easy, and other days, it may feel impossible. Acceptance is often accompanied by a light feeling of peace and comfort in contrast to the opposite feeling of resistance, which can happen if you insist that you must return to the exact way you were prior to your injury in order to consider yourself “whole,” “recovered” or “healed.” For the majority of people living after a significant injury, recovery does not involve a carbon-copy

return to your previous life. The experience of having had the injury often changes your sense of self and your worldview.

Acknowledging these changes and working to love yourself, others and the world because of them is the task of acceptance.

Experts who study the psychology of post-traumatic emotional growth tell us that there are typically four stages of adjustment after a significant physical injury: shock, defensive retreat, acknowledgment, and adaptation.

The road to acceptance is filled with many pitstops and often includes these eight action steps:

1. Know that it is going to take time to comprehend what has happened.

2. Acknowledge what has changed and what you have lost.

3. Give yourself permission to grieve.

4. Focus on what you can still do and find ways to do the things that are hard through creativity and support from others.

5. Find people who have thrived in the face of adversity and let them inspire you.

6. Find another activity or mental interest that makes you feel strong and powerful.

7. Find a way to give back. Lessen someone else’s pain by sharing what you’ve learned in your recovery so far.

8. Talk it through with a professional or someone close to you who is a good listener and will validate all of your feelings.

Dr. Karen Sullivan, a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, owner of Pinehurst Neuropsychology Brain & Memory Clinic and creator of the I CARE FOR YOUR BRAIN program, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or by visiting www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com or www.icfyb.com.

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OutreachNC.com | JANUARY 2020

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life

DRIVIN’ FOR LUNCH

Sharing Favorite Foods with Family and Friends

by Ray Linville

If you want a lot of great home-cooking, your best bet is the all-you-can eat Southern buffet at Fuller’s in Pembroke.

Although Fuller’s is open daily, the Sunday crowd seems like family and makes the restaurant lively. On that day more tables are taken by family groups than on other days.

Tonya Rouben, who grew up in Pembroke, was having lunch with 11 family members who still live in the area. Now living in Atlanta, Rouben says, “I wish I had a place with home-cooking like this where I live. I love the barbecue and fried chicken.

“A lot of Lumbees are in the kitchen cooking.

It’s hard to beat Native American cooking,” she adds.

At a table for eight, LaVica Farmer of Fayetteville was eating with her sisters in faith, including one who is 93. All are members of Bethany Presbyterian in Lumberton that was formed in 1875 and has a historic African-American legacy. Some are descendants of families who established an adjoining academy in 1903 and built the current church building in 1938.

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They were with Rev. Helane Church, the pastor at Bethany, and were spending the day praising the Lord, eating Southern food and praising the Lord again. They had just attended the 9 o’clock service in Lumberton conducted by Church before coming to Fuller’s for lunch.

Then they were attending an afternoon service, again conducted by Church, at Freedom East Presbyterian in Raeford.

“Not only is the food delicious, but the service and atmosphere are a treat, so warm. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been here. We come here as often as we can,” says Farmer.

Although she did not make one of the iconic collard sandwiches, Farmer says she came close. “I got some fatback, fried cornbread, and ate them with collards,” she adds.

The church ladies appreciate Fuller’s approach to serving fish. “We like ours with the bone in, which is what is on the buffet, but they also made a bowl of boneless just for us. This is a treat,” says Farmer, holding a piece of croaker.

Elder Linda Carter of Lumberton remembers eating at the original location of Fuller’s in that city. It opened in 1986 but was closed permanently after being inundated

by eight feet of flood water from Hurricane Matthew in 2016.

out of space, sometimes more desserts are on the fourth station, which is mostly salad ingredients.

About the original location, she says, “I went there a long, long time. The same people who now work here remember your face. They are like family.”

The buffet stations are brightly lighted by clerestory windows, a series of small windows along the top of the building near the roof line. Don’t worry about anything on the buffet being stale or sitting too long. Items are continually taken by customers and quickly replenished by servers, who keep the chicken — an obvious favorite — piled high.

At another table was Lasheena Jones, who was visiting Fuller’s for the first time with nine family members aged 8 to 74, all from Florence, S.C. Although her favorite on the buffet is the turnip greens, her cousin Francenia Cooper says, “The pork sausage is the best.”

You can tell customers who are new by how they hesitate before going to one of the four buffet stations from a repeat customer who makes a beeline for the favorite. Only in the South would more people hover around the station for vegetables than the one for main dishes. Such was the case where 20 vegetables make customers linger and struggle with narrowing the options before filling their plates.

My favorites are anything green — collards, limas, peas, cabbage, turnip greens, okra (fried). With just a third of the plate now open, I had a hard time choosing among rutabagas, mashed potatoes, corn, succotash, mac ‘n’ cheese and nine more. (Yes, mac ‘n’ cheese is a vegetable.)

The second most popular station has main dishes — chopped pork barbecue, chicken (fried, baked and barbecue), fried crab, shrimp and fried fish, sliced roast beef, pork sausage, chicken livers — plus breads such as hushpuppies, biscuits and corn fritters.

Customers are not timid about taking desserts — some have at least three. Chocolate layer cake (four layers), strawberry shortcake and banana pudding seem to be the top choices.

Other choices included a fruit cobbler, a vanilla layer cake and self-serve soft ice cream. When the dessert station runs

Kristyn Sabara, one of the servers, said that Sunday is the most popular day and a waitlist that day around 1 p.m. is common, although the buffet price of $12.99 on Sunday is $4 more than on weekdays. A menu is also available, but most choose the buffet.

In the heart of downtown Pembroke at 110 E. Third St., Fuller’s opens daily at 11 a.m. This location is one of three operated by Fuller’s. The other two are in Fayetteville.

(Call 910-521-4667 for the Pembroke location if you have questions.)

Fuller’s brings to life the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who envisioned how we would “sit down together at the table of brotherhood.” People of all colors and heritages — once separated by the power of Jim Crow — mingle as they enjoy favorite foods. The scene could be improved only if everyone were served family-style and sat at one communal table.

Ray Linville writes about local connections to Southern food, history and culture. He can be reached at linville910@gmail.com .

Serving residents of Scotland, Robeson, Richmond and Hoke counties in North Carolina, as well as Marlboro, Dillon and Chesterfield counties in South Carolina.

www.ScotlandHospice.org JANUARY 2020 |

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health

H E A LT H C O A C H I N G

Goal Setting and Healthy Habits for the New Year

by Marcy Simpson, LCSW

Would you be surprised to know that according to an online blog*, the top five most popular New Year resolutions for 2019 included: “exercise to get in shape”, “diet to lose weight” and “eat healthier in general?” Do any of these happen to sound familiar to you? Do you dread even thinking about making your list because of feeling defeated or discouraged from past attempts? Perhaps one of these behavior changes has been something you have considered (again) as the old year winds down and you contemplate making a fresh start. Taking a different approach to goal setting can be helpful in following through on healthy habits moving forward into 2020.

Here’s a simple formula for setting goals to maximize your chances of success in order to maintain healthy habits any day of the year.

Define the goal: Goal setting is a process which involves asking yourself questions to decide exactly what you want to do. Using the first resolution listed above as an example, what exactly does “exercise to get in shape” mean to you? Why are you choosing this specific change? What do you hope to achieve? What type of exercise will produce the desired results, after you have determined what “in shape” will look like?

Questions like these will get you to thinking about the “why” of considering a change so that you can have information for the next step.

Action plan: Developing an action plan is crucial because it involves writing things down. Your plan doesn’t have to be fancy; it can be as simple as reminders on your calendar or phone. However, whatever you decide needs to be specific, measurable, and realistic. For example, walk on treadmill twice/week for 20-30 minutes for a month. There is a Chinese proverb that states; “All things are difficult before they are easy.” Remember that any change involves a learning curve 18

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and then time to establish the new, healthier habit. Having a written plan helps you to allow for everyday life occurrences that can interfere with your routine and often derail your best intentions.

Share your plan: This is a crucial step that is often overlooked.

Accountability is key in making positive behavior changes.

Find someone who is supportive regarding your goals/plans for establishing and maintaining healthy habits. If not a friend or family member, seek out someone in the exercise or weight loss class you join and tell them about your plan. Your support system is vital in keeping you honest with the necessary steps to achieve your stated goals.

Evaluate: How will you know when you’ve reached your goals? What happens if you decide that group classes are not your thing and you would prefer a more solitary form of exercise? Decide on a few setpoints to measure progress towards your goals and then adjust when needed. Be kind to yourself.

You can only start where you’re at when it comes to making changes. Remember that the desired result is for healthy habits that promote a sense of well-being, confidence, and satisfaction knowing that you’ve attained the results you have set for yourself. Good luck! *https://vitagene.com/blog/most-popular-2019-new-yearsresolution/

Marcy Simpson, LCSW, is a Health Coach at Pinehurst Medical Clinic in Pinehurst and Sanford. She can be reached at 910-235-3347 or msimpson@pinehurstmedical.com.

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advice

Financial Future: 8 Intentional Questions to Ask for Retirement

by Nathan Cherry

Have you ever heard the saying, “You don’t know what you don’t know?” What about, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you?” These pithy sayings remind us that there’s plenty we don’t know. But, unlike the sayings, what we don’t know could actually hurt us.

It’s been said on more than one occasion that asking the right questions is the key to almost anything. If you can just ask the right questions you can avoid harm, or loss, get the promotion, turn a profit, or protect your assets. The question is, “What are the right questions?”

For those nearing, just entering, or firmly in retirement, there’s a set of questions that should be intentionally asked to gain valuable knowledge and resources necessary for a successful retirement. These questions go beyond the typical questions asked by friends and neighbors and get to the heart of being properly prepared for all the twists and turns that come during retirement.

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Here are 8 Intentional Financial Questions for retirement: 1. How much can I spend annually each year of retirement? Your annual withdrawal rate can have a significant impact on your ability to stay retired and enjoy the kind of retirement you’ve always dreamed of. You should be reviewing your withdrawal rate annually.

2. Will downsizing have a positive impact on my retirement picture? It can often make a lot of sense to downsize your house in retirement. Then again, sometimes it doesn’t make any sense at all. If you have a comprehensive financial planner, addressing the issue of downsizing should be on the table.

3. Are my assets properly protected from the numerous risks they face (interest rate, inflation, market, legal)? Your assets are not at risk solely due to market fluctuations.

Everything from interest rates and inflation as well as changes in state and federal laws create a level of risk for your assets. When was the last time you discussed your unique and specific risks with a qualified professional?

4. Are my loved ones protected should my health fade? Everyone thinks they will live forever; it’s human nature. An increasing number of people, however, are experiencing health-related issues requiring ongoing care. If you have not put the right measures in place, your family could face an emergency if you can no longer care for yourself and require professional care.

5. Will my assets go where I want when I am no longer here? Most people have very specific family, friends, charities, and organizations they want to leave their assets to. The proper planning can help ensure your assets go exactly where you intend (and avoid places you don’t want them).

6. Do I have the right type of accounts set up in light of taxes, legal, and family concerns? Many types of financial accounts and products exist. Some are right for a narrow group of people, while others are helpful for almost everyone. Your circumstances and specific goals play a part in determining the type(s) of accounts you should have established.

7. Am I properly insured for now, and the future? Insurance often gets put on the back burner and overlooked year after year. But proper insurance protects assets, leaves a legacy, funds goals, and should be an integral part of a solid financial plan.

8. Have all my critical documents and policies been reviewed recently to ensure they are up to date with my wishes and state and federal laws? Documents are put in place and then forgotten. The next thing you know, it’s been 10, 20, or 30 years since they were reviewed. Exspouses, siblings no longer living, and kids who didn’t quite grow up are still listed as executors, beneficiaries, and trustees. Critical documents should be reviewed every couple of years (maximum) to ensure they are not outdated or in opposition to newly enacted state or federal laws.

As you can see, there are many questions needing answers to help create a solid financial plan for you and your family. It may appear overwhelming, but the right team of professionals will be undaunted and easily able to help address each question.

Don’t wait until a crisis hits, or the situation becomes an emergency, to begin addressing these questions. Work with your team of professionals now while things are easier to address. You don’t know what you don’t know. But what you don’t know can most certainly hurt you.

Nathan Cherry is a financial adviser and planner with Hicks & Associates in Southern Pines, specializing in comprehensive financial planning and asset management, as well as offering a range of other services. He can be reached at 910-692-5917.

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JANUARY: CELEBRATING COZY COCKTAILS

NATIONAL HOT TODDY DAY (JANUARY 11)

The hot toddy is believed to have been created to disguise raw Scotch, which was pretty rough and indigestible in the 18th century. Sugar, dates, saffron, cinnamon, nuts and mace were all tossed in to cover up the taste.

The bourbon in a hot toddy may actually be a health remedy, as it is a natural decongestant (by dilating blood vessels, making it easier for mucus membranes to deal with infection).

Hot toddies have a reputation as a remedy for cold and flu, since being historically consumed on cold nights.

The psychological effects of a hot toddy shouldn’t be overlooked.

According to the Smithsonian Magazine, stress and anxiety can be harmful to the body’s immune system, and a hot toddy works as a “...mild sedative or tranquillizer.”

William Faulkner was apparently a fan of the hot toddy. We think that added to his brilliance.

Rumors abound as to where the hot toddy originally came from, some suggesting it was the brain-child of Dublin-born physician Robert Bentley Todd, known to prescribe his medicinal beverage of brandy, white cinnamon, sugar syrup and water, the Hot Toddy.

A hot toddy is known as a hot whiskey in Ireland, just in case you’re ever in a Dublin pub and want to get it right.

The word toddy comes from the toddy drink in India, a fermentation of the sap of palm trees.

HOT TODDY RECIPE

Ingredients • 1 oz. bourbon • 1 tablespoon honey • 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice (a squeeze works fine) • ¼ cup boiling water

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Directions Put the bourbon, honey and lemon juice into a 6-oz. mug and top with hot water. Stir until honey is dissolved, and prepare to be soothed.

NATIONAL HOT BUTTERED RUM DAY (JANUARY 17) Some people say the hot toddy and the hot buttered rum are interchangeable, which is a shame. The word ‘rum’ is the obvious tell-tale sign of a significant difference.

When the British Royal Navy captured Jamaica in 1655, rum replaced brandy as the sailor’s daily ration of alcohol, and thus a new love for rum was born.

The base of the hot buttered rum is known as the ‘batter,’ and it’s added to the mug, along with the rum, before the addition of boiling water. The batter is made up of sugar, spices and butter.

Some people add softened vanilla ice cream to their ‘batter.’ We’re not turning our noses up at this suggestion.

During the Colonial period, many Americans believed rum to be nutritious and beneficial to the body. The Colonialists were obviously smart cookies (and drinkers).

Brands of rum popular in recipes include Goslings, The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, Chairman’s Reserve and Appleton Estate.

Some people, in an attempt to make the drink more nutritious, use organic coconut oil. We are not those people.

Emeril Lagasse’s recipe for hot buttered rum is our favorite and got some of us through some long winter nights.

HOT BUTTERED RUM RECIPE

Ingredients • ¼ cup (half-stick) unsalted butter • ¼ cup packed dark brown sugar • 1 teaspoon cinnamon • ½ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg (if you’re fancy and have a nutmeg grater) • ¼ teaspoon ground cloves • 1/8 teaspoon salt • 2/3 cup dark rum • 2 cups water Directions Combine the butter, brown sugar and spices into a batter and refrigerate until firm. Spoon approximately 2 tablespoons of the butter mixture into a small mug. Pour 3 oz. of dark rum into the mug (filling it about halfway).

Top with boiling water, stir well and serve to guests huddled around a crackling fire.

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January 25, 2020 “Gung Hei Fat Choi” How to Say “Happy New Year” in Chinese and it literally translates to “May you have good fortune.”

Popular foods include: uncut noodles (representing long life), lobster & chicken (represent dragons and phoenixes respectively; eaten together they represent family unity), and fish (encourges an abundance of good luck).

Tradition holds that everyone in China ages a year together on the seventh day of the New Year.

Red symbolizes fire, which is belived to keep away evil spirits; hence many people dress in red.

Red envelopes containing money are given to children during the New Year for good luck.

It is traditional to put brand new banknotes inside.

An elaborate lantern festival marks the end of Chinese New Year Celebrations.

It takes place on the 15th day of the New Year.

The twelve Chinese Zodiac animals (in order) are: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, Pig 2020 is the year of The Rat. The Rat is the first of all zodiac animals.

According to one myth, the Jade Emperor said the order would be decided by the order in which they arrived to his party. The Rat tricked the Ox into giving him a ride. Then, just as they arrived at the finish line, Rat jumped down and landed ahead of Ox, becoming first.

Recent years of the Rat are: 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020

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life

COOKING SIMPLE

Wonton Soup RING IN THE CHINESE NEW YEAR WITH THIS FLAVORFUL TRADITIONAL SOUP!

Prep: 20 mins

Cook: 15 mins

Servings: 50 wontons

INGREDIENTS FOR WONTONS 50 - 60 wonton wrappers WONTON FILLING 7 oz lean ground pork 7 oz peeled prawns / shrimp , roughly chopped 1 tbsp ginger , finely grated (1.5” piece) 2 shallots / green onions , finely chopped (5 tbsp) 1 tbsp soy sauce 2 tbsp Chinese cooking wine (Shaoxing wine) 1/2 tsp salt 2 tbsp sesame oil INGREDIENTS FOR BROTH (FOR 2 SERVINGS) 3 cups chicken broth 2 garlic cloves, smashed ½” piece of ginger, sliced (optional, but recommended)

1½ tbsp soy sauce 2 tsp sugar (any) 1½ tbsp chinese cooking wine ¼ - ½ tsp sesame oil

INGREDIENTS TO SERVE Shallots / scallions , finely chopped Bok choy , quartered (optional) 1.5 - 1.75 oz dried egg noodles per person , (optional) INSTRUCTIONS

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MAKE WONTON FILLING: Place Filling ingredients in a bowl. Use a potato masher to mash until fairly smooth - about 20 mashes. Don’t turn the prawn into a complete paste, small chunks are good.

WRAP WONTONS Lay Wontons on work surface. Use 2 teaspoons to put the Filling on the wontons. Work in batches of 5 if starting out, up to 15 or 20 if confident. Brush 2 edges with water. Fold to seal, pressing out air.

Brush water on one corner and bring corners together, pressing to seal.

Place wrapped wontons into a container with a lid as you work (so they don’t dry out).

COOKING or FREEZING WONTONS: TO COOK: bring a large pot of water to boil. Place wontons in water and cook for 4 minutes or until they float. Remove with slotted spoon straight into serving bowls. Ladle over broth.

TO FREEZE: Freeze uncooked in airtight containers. Cook from frozen for 6 to 8 minutes.

MAKE BROTH: Place Broth ingredients in a saucepan over high heat. Add white ends of scallions/shallots if leftover from Wonton filling.

Place lid on, bring to simmer then reduce to medium high and simmer for 5 - 10 minutes to allow the flavors to infuse. Pick garlic and ginger out before using.

If using vegetables, blanch in the soup broth and place in serving bowl.

ASSEMBLE SOUP: Prepare noodles according to packet directions (if using noodles).

Place in serving bowl with cooked wontons and blanched vegetables.

Ladle over soup. Serve!

Hearty Chili with Sweet Cornbread Prep: 15 mins

Cook: 2-3 Hours

Servings: 10

CHILI INGREDIENTS 1 lb lean ground beef 29 oz diced tomatoes use the entire can, juice and all 1 lb Italian sausage of your choice 3 oz tomato paste 1 medium yellow onion diced 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 1 red bell pepper seeded and chopped 1 cup beef broth 1 to 2 garlic cloves minced 1 tsp hot sauce 30 oz kidney beans rinsed well and drained (2 15 oz cans) 2 tbsp chili powder 15 oz pinto beans rinsed well and drained (1 can) 1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp smoked paprika 1/4 tsp cayenne 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp ground black pepper 1 tbsp brown or granulated sugar 8 oz tomato sauce

CHILI INSTRUCTIONS Brown the ground beef and sausage in a large stockpot over medium heat until mostly cooked through. A little pink is fine. Drain fat from the meat.

Add the diced onion, bell pepper, and garlic and stir to combine with meat. Cook over medium heat until onion is translucent.

Add the kidney and pinto beans, diced tomatoes, tomato paste, Worcestershire sauce, beef broth and hot sauce.

Next add the seasonings (chili powder, cumin, paprika, cayenne, salt, pepper and sugar).

Pour tomato sauce over the top and stir to combine all.

Place the lid on the pot and cook on low for 4 to 6 hours or on high for 2 to 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

Serve with desired toppings such as shredded cheese, sour cream, or green onions.

CORNBREAD INGREDIENTS 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 cup yellow cornmeal 2/3 cup white sugar 1 teaspoon salt 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1 egg 1 cup milk 1/3 cup vegetable oil

CORNBREAD INSTRUCTIONS

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Spray or lightly grease a 9 inch round cake pan.

In a large bowl, combine flour, cornmeal, sugar, salt and baking powder.

Stir in egg, milk and vegetable oil until well combined.

Pour batter into prepared pan.

Bake in preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean.

Allow cornbread to set for 5 minutes before cutting.

Serve with your favorite chili or soup recipe!

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life

CRAFTED

It’s Good to be “Fickle”!

by Abegail Murphy

Fickle Pottery is a small-town pottery studio based in Pinehurst, North Carolina. Every single piece is handcrafted to provide customers with a diverse selection of one-of-a-kind products. Pieces from Fickle Pottery are crafted with love and light in every work of art, drawing inspiration from a blend of friends, family and nature, and polished with a minimalist flair. Owner and potter Maegan Lea sat down with ONC’s Abegail Murphy to discuss her inspiration, line of work, and humble beginnings.

Abegail Murphy: How did you get your start in pottery?

Maegan Lea: I fell upon pottery by chance. It’s actually not what I originally wanted to pursue at all. I went to school for graphic design. Finding a job locally was a challenge, so in the meantime my mom suggested taking a pottery class at Montgomery Community College.

I did, and I ended up falling in love with the craft!

Pottery felt like what I was made to do. I got a degree in Professional Clay in 2006 and started producing pottery professionally shortly after.

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I initially started in a 7 x 12 laundry room, and in every place I have lived the space has grown larger. Previously I was working out of my garage, but now I have a studio in Vass. I have a Spring open house coming up where I will be debuting the retail space and workshops.

AM: Is there any meaning behind the name “Fickle Pottery”?

ML: I am often asked about the name, “Fickle Pottery.” Growing up my mama always told me I was too fickle. And I am. So – Fickle Pottery! It’s really the only name that would ever do, since I switch things up all the time.

AM: What makes Fickle Pottery unique?

ML: I make everything myself. If I don’t make it, it’s not mine. I do it all in small batches and keep things simplistic. There’s so much that can be done with simplicity. Every piece is made in a calm, soothing process, but it’s all me. It takes me about two weeks to get a full load of products from start to finish.

Even after I’ve sculpted the pieces, I put in a lot of work detailing to ensure they’re the best quality.

AM: Do you have any specialties or best sellers?

ML: Oh, mugs are definitely the best seller. I’ve made enough mugs to last a lifetime. I also make tableware, trays, home goods, cheese boards, and candle holders, among other pieces. I enjoy making a variety of items. My favorite thing to make, however, is jewelry. It’s fairly new for me and not yet in huge demand, but it’s so fun to make and assemble!

AM: In your opinion, what’s the best part of the job?

ML: To me, it’s having the flexibility to balance work life with home life. I get to spend a lot of time with my daughter. She’s with me a lot, able to join me for the small things along the way. Not only do I get to do something I love, but I get to spend quality time with my family, as well.

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For more information or to get in contact with Maegan Lea, find Fickle Pottery online at www.FicklePottery.com

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JANUARY 2020 |

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advice

VETERANS CORNER

Qualifications & Benefits: Understanding VA Healthcare

by Jim Pedersen, VSO & Director of Moore County Veterans Service Office Our office often fields questions about VA healthcare.

While county Veterans Service Offices are not part of the VA, do not schedule medical appointments, bill health insurance or enroll veterans in VA healthcare, we often are asked for information and guidance from people who are seeking those services.

VA healthcare is available to any service member who was honorably discharged and who has been classified as a veteran by the Veterans Affairs department. Any veteran who enlisted after September 7, 1980 or who entered active duty after Oct. 16, 1981, must have served 24 continuous months or the full term of active duty for which they were called to be eligible. Members of the Reserves or National Guard must have been called to active duty and completed the full term for which they were activated in order to qualify for VA medical care. Those who only had active-duty status for training purposes do not qualify.

The VA may waive the minimum duty requirement if a veteran was discharged for a disability that was caused or aggravated by active-duty military service, was given a hardship discharge or who served prior to Sept. 7, 1980.

One of the most common misconceptions among veterans is that they need a service-connected disability in order to qualify for VA medical care. That is simply not true. Factors such as service dates, where the service member was deployed, income and other factors are used to determine eligibility.

Some veterans qualify for veteran’s health care benefits based on an enhanced eligibility status. POWs, veterans who received the Purple Heart or Medal of Honor and those who receive a VA pension qualify under the enhanced programs. Additionally, any veteran who received an early discharge due to hardship or disability, who served on active duty in a theater of combat operation or who served in a war zone for a full tour are also eligible.

Veterans do need to enroll in VA health care in order to receive benefits.

WHAT DOES VA HEALTHCARE COVER? VA medical care covers a wide variety of services from preventive to urgent. Health exams and preventive care, education, immunizations including flu shots, pharmacy services and outpatient diagnostics and treatments are among the many options available at VA medical facilities.

The VA also offers inpatient hospital care, acute emergency services and specialized care including intensive care for physical and mental conditions, organ transplants and traumatic injuries. Some VA health facilities offer urgent care for injuries and illnesses that don’t require an emergency room visit.

Veterans may be eligible to receive care through non-VA medical providers in their own communities. The Veterans Choice Program, formerly known as the Community Care Program, provides services when the VA can’t provide the

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services the veteran needs or can’t provide an appointment time within 30 days of the date the veteran is scheduled to be seen for care. Veterans who live more than 40 miles from the nearest VA medical facility with a full-time primary care physician or those who must travel by air, boat or ferry and those who are physically unable to travel to the nearest VA facility may also take advantage of the Veterans Choice program.

IS VA HEALTHCARE FREE? For some veterans, VA healthcare is available free of charge. This includes those who have a service-connected injury or illness rated at 50% or higher, those who need re-adjustment counseling and other mental health services and those suffering from military sexual trauma. Additionally, Purple Heart and Medal of Honor recipients have no co-pays for care, tests or medications.

For veterans who have non-VA health insurance, it is important to provide plan information with the VA. The VA can bill your private health insurance for any costs the VA does not pay. Veterans do not have to pay any unpaid balances not covered by your private health insurance.

HOW DO VETERANS ENROLL? Veterans can go to their nearest VA medical center to determine their eligibility and enroll in VA healthcare. They will need to complete a form 10-10EZ. In order to complete the form, veterans will need their DD-214, service records if they were a POW or medal of honor recipient and any military records that indicate participation in a war zone or hostile combat situation.

The Moore County Veterans Service Office, located at 707 Pinehurst Ave., Carthage, is one of nearly 100 similar offices throughout the state. The office is staffed by three accredited Veterans Service Officers who help Moore County veterans apply for disability, survivor and other benefits.

The office is open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. Appointments are needed and may be made by calling 910-947-3257.

Mia Lorenz is an experienced attorney whose 25-year record of service in the law demonstrates her commitment to her clients and community.

She is passionate about assisting clients in their quest to maintain control and dignity as they age and/or experience illness, as well as plan to preserve assets while maintaining care.

Active in the community as legal advisor to NAMI Moore County, AOS & Friends Care, Inc. and Linden Lodge.

VSO Jim Pedersen, right, is the director of the Moore County Veterans Service Office. Experienced nationally-certified VSOs Kelly Greene, and Robert “Bob” Hall, a Vietnam-era veteran who retired from the Army after 30 years of service, assist Moore County veterans with their disability claims.

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life

FA I T H A F T E R 5 0

Which Wolf are You Feeding?

by The Rev. Colette Bachand There is an old Cherokee tale that says inside everyone are two With the rear view mirror they see all the places and ways they have been resilient and strong and made it wolves that are always at battle. through unbelievable hardships. They see how God/higher One wolf is the wolf of evil; he is envy, anger, jealousy, regret, power/loving creator has companioned them and gotten them self-pity, arrogance, sorrow and ego. The other wolf is the wolf of good; he is peace, love, hope, serenity, kindness, compassion “safe thus far.” In doing so they see how they crawled out of depression because they started yoga class or a Bible study; and faith. they felt a new start in life because they began journaling or The two wolves are constantly at battle, and the Cherokee reading spiritual works of anyone ranging from Hildegard of would say, the wolf that wins, is the wolf we feed.

Bigen to Richard Rohr. Or they met with a local clergy person So which wolf are you feeding? to talk about fears and uncertainties, or joined a recovery program to find some peace.

I like this lesson from the Cherokee because it reminds us that how we grow in faith as we age is an intentional practice. If we are feeding the wolf of anger, regret and sorrow then we will feel anger, regret and sorrow, to which I would add, we will also find it hard to feel spiritually grounded. If, on the other hand, we are intentional about feeding the wolf of love, serenity, kindness and faith, then we will feel love, peace, kindness, and feel our faith grow.

And now, they have the wisdom to turn on high beams in order to see more clearly the road ahead. They find a new sense of purpose by being intentional about how they used their time: writing letters to grandchildren, having tea with a friend, starting a new prayer routine or finally letting go of a grudge they have carried for years and offering forgiveness. These are all spiritual practices.

Older adults I’ve worked with over the years share with me varied reasons for being intentional about what God and faith means to them. Yes, some begin to wonder because of a concern about what happens after we die, but I actually see something deeper going on.

In other words, finding a sense of spiritual grounding happened when they had the courage to admit they were looking for “something” and then made a decision to find it.

They decided to feed the wolf of love, compassion, healing and hope.

Whether someone has been a churchgoer their entire life, stopped going mid-life, or have never been at all, something remarkable happens when we have to courage to wonder; when we have the courage to ask questions like: “What do I believe God is?” “Do I pray just because they are words I’ve always said … what do they mean to me?” Or, “Why do I go to church every Sunday; what am I hoping to find?” Or, “If institutionalized church isn’t helpful, where do I find a sense of connection, purpose and meaning?”

Older adults have two things that help them navigate issues of faith – they have both a rear view mirror and wisdom to turn on high beams as they journey.

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Feeling a connection to God/Faith/Spirit reminds us we are not alone and this can be strength. Loneliness and isolation often come with aging and trusting there is a loving God that companions us offers peace instead of fear, a place of hope instead of hopelessness.

And while I know the God of love is always with us, quite often God can’t get in because we have closed the door. When we intentionally decide to open it, the world feels different and the future brighter.

And so in this New Year, which wolf will you be feeding?

Rev. Colette is an Episcopal priest who has the honor of serving as Chaplain at Penick Village in Southern Pines and has worked in geriatric care for 15 years. cwood@penickvillage1964.org

GPAC UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA AT PEMBROKE

19/20

Season

GIVENS PERFORMING ARTS CENTER

Siberian State Symphony Orchestra Feb. 18

March 2

April 28

Distinguished Speaker Series

Directed and choreographed by the Tony®-winning choreographer of ‘Hamilton.’ “The show defies you not to be moved.” (Time Out New York). January 29

Act 1 Dinners available for select shows.

Get tickets online at: UNCP.EDU/GPAC - 910.521.6361

Cynthia Marshall, CEO of Dallas Mavericks with sports anchor, Newy Scruggs

January 22

Joy Harjo, First Native American U.S. Poet Laureate and Musician

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INTRODUCING OutreachNC’s 2020

Book Club

Last year, we read 10 books (some fiction, some non-fiction) and wrote honestly and with our hands-to-our-hearts about how we felt. We loved some (Our Souls at Night and The Light of the World) and struggled with others, but we were grateful to have books to read, stories to keep us company and new characters to sit beside on long nights and with coffee in our earliest mornings. Here is our list for ONC’s 2020 Book Club, full of highly-praised novels, a collection of essays and a how-to guide for a midlife (or any-time) crisis. We’re game. We hope you’ll join us, as you did last year, in reading, exploring, ranting and raving. We do love a good rant.

ONC’s 2020 Book Club Picks are......

February – Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine (Gail Honeyman) People have been raving about Eleanor Oliphant for months. It seems everywhere we go, someone has read this novel and says, “It’s funny, witty, sarcastic and a little heartbreaking.” How could we not be intrigued? Honeyman’s heroine is apparently stern, sarcastic, judgmental but ultimately incredibly lovable, and we look forward to learning her story and jumping into her neatly-organized life.

March – Gilead (Marilynne Robinson) Gilead is one of those novels people discuss in hushed voices at serious dinner parties. It’s a letter from a preacher to his son, a living legacy of Reverend Ames’s life and family story, and we hear it involves two of our favorite subjects: forgiveness and redemption.

April – Maybe You Should Talk to Someone (Lori Gottlieb) Gottlieb’s book’s full title is Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed. Sign us up. We, as readers, apparently go ‘behind the scenes’ of a therapist’s world, going inside the worlds of her patients and, ultimately, the questions about life Gottlieb struggles with herself. It’s described as ‘disarmingly funny’ and ‘revolutionary in its candor.’ Sounds like exactly the type of self-helpery we love.

May – The Throwback Special (Chris Bachelder) Bachelder’s National Book Award Finalist is also a winner of The Paris Review Terry Southern Prize for Humor. George Saunders, one of our all-time favorite authors, says, “Chris Bachelder is a witty, compassionate troublemaker, and we need more like him.”

Sold. The novel is a story of twenty-two men who come together every fall to reenact what ESPN dubbed ‘the most shocking play in NFL history: the ‘Throwback Special.’

We’re excited to read a novel about men coming together and learning about each other, themselves and how we all connect in order to continue living.

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June – It All Comes Back to You (Beth Duke) Duke’s story is the southern story of two women, with chapters alternating between Veronica “Ronni” Johnson, a nurse and aspiring writer, and Violet, who lives in an assisted living facility and has a story of her own. When Violet dies, she leaves Ronni a generous bequest with one condition: Ronni must write a novel about Violet’s life within one year. There are apparently secrets that shake things up, which is how all the best pageturning stories end up. We’re game!

July – I Miss You When I Blink: Essays (Mary Laura Philpott) Acclaimed essayist and bookseller, Philpott creates a memoir-in-essays of what happened when, after successfully checking all the right boxes in her life, she embarks on a reinvention. After doing everything ‘right,’ Pilpott finds herself feeling decidedly ‘wrong’ and goes in search of the proverbial why. We’re told this book will inspire us to navigate our own identity crises and understand the power of small changes rather than burning it all down (which we are sometimes prone to doing).

August – Women Rowing North (Mary Pipher) Let’s just get down to brass tacks here: New York Times Bestseller. USA Today Bestseller.

Los Angeles Times Bestseller. Publishers Weekly Bestseller. From the author of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher writes what is described as a guide to ‘wisdom, authenticity, and bliss’ for women as we age. Um....yes, please.

September – Evie Drake Starts Over (Linda Holmes) People magazine describes Evie Drake Starts Over as, “Everything a romantic comedy should be: witty, relatable, and a little complicated.” How can we say no? It also takes place in a sleepy seaside town in Maine, involves a recently widowed Evie (who is overcome with grief) and a Major League pitcher from New York City. This novel is already oozing charm. We think September is the perfect month to embark on a little love story that will fill us up before winter sets in.

October – The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains (Nicholas Carr) More than once, we’ve wondered: is the Internet doing us more harm than good? Does the positive outweigh the negative? Are we rotting our brains, disconnecting in an attempt to connect and doomed to a future of multi-tasking, skimming and living within the shallows for decades to come? We’re hoping Carr’s examination of the subject will answer these questions or at least shed some light on the discussion.

November – The Alice Network (Kate Quinn) Quinn’s novel is heralded by many including NPR, Bookbub and a slew of summer reading lists. Reese Witherspoon picked it for her Book Club Summer Reading Pick. Set in the ‘chaotic aftermath of World War II,’ Quinn tells the story of a female spy and an American socialite, brought together in an unlikely story of courage and redemption.

Over here at the ONC cottage, we have a thing for both courage and redemption, and we think this is an excellent pick to end 2020 and jumpstart the holiday season.

We love sharing books with everyone and anyone who’s got a review, comment, thought, critique or favorite quote to send along. Feel free to write to us at editor@outreachnc.com and let us know your thoughts on what we’re reading - the good, the bad and the overthe-moon.

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Intentional Organization:

A NEW YEAR’S CHECKLIST

by Margaret (Mia) Lorenz, Attorney Happy New Year to You! Although January comes in with a bang as we celebrate the ending of a year and beginning of a new year, it can be a challenging month to live through. Family may have traveled to visit you, but now they are miles away again. The anticipation of the celebrations of the season is replaced with good memories, but the thrill is gone from your spirit. The Christmas decorations are removed and the travel around town is not as pretty. The mail may bring the bills for the inevitable payment for all the holiday fun. Work resumes in earnest without as many holiday/ vacation days on your monthly calendar. Some make vows to lose weight and exercise, which makes for grumpy, hungry people. On top of all of this, the weather can be colder and duller – especially without Christmas lights. In my work involving estate administration (helping people whose loved ones have died), January is traditionally the busiest month of the year. January is historically the month of the year in which most people pass away.

January 1 is a date that has a lot of meaning, personally, for me. On January 1, 2011, my father died very unexpectedly while eating brunch at a local restaurant in Southern Pines. His heart stopped.

Even though doctors were in the restaurant and helped with CPR, his only chance for survival would have been the administration of an electrical defibrillator within short order, and that did not happen.

My father had retired from his first career in the early 1990s. His second career in his retirement years was full and varied. Like a lot of us, he had a lot of irons in the fire because he was a person who was not idle. My father had a home office with a very large wooden desk. The desk had many drawers full of papers that appeared neatly organized by file. He also had a personal computer on his desk; he had taken classes at Sandhills Community College to become fairly proficient at the basics of exploring the world wide web and as a result handled some business online. My father had a Last Will and Testament and other estate planning documents that were in good order.

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My father’s death taught me a lot of lessons.

For many reasons, I was tapped to finalize all of my father’s business and wind down his affairs after his death. I started at his desk. The desk contained a lot of information, but most was old. Then I came across a file that said: “in case of death.” My heart skipped a beat as I opened the file hoping that it would contain all that I needed to figure out his various financial holdings and income sources. The information in the file was at least 10 years old. Some was helpful but most was not. Like most of us, my dad appeared to have the majority of information in his head.

My father had a day planner that he used to record all sorts of things. I turned to this for help and found many passwords used for various sites. This was helpful.

My father had talked to me about various resources provided through his former employer. I made blind calls to his former employer and waited for information.

I severely blamed myself for not listening better, for not making notes of things, and for not asking the right questions. Every day, the mail brought new things for me to investigate and resolve. About 10 days after waiting for the former employer to call me back and explain benefits, I found a note under papers in his desk: it said, “when I die, call XXXX at ##### and he will help explain all benefits.” I truly felt like it was a message from my dad to me. I had searched his desk many times and never found this 3x5 index card before. After crying, I phoned the number and all crucial information that I was waiting on was explained and confirmed.

It took about six months and a notebook full of MY gathered information to know that I had left NO stone uncovered; that if my dad was involved in it, I knew about it and was handling it. Six months is a lot of time. I know that my dad would not have wanted that much time to pass before fully grasping all that he had going on. Without information on hand, it is hard to fully understand a person’s world, and it will take time.

As we settle into January, we need to realize our mortality, and that things can happen quickly and unexpectedly. Whether we die or suffer a crisis that leaves us in a state where we cannot communicate, our loved ones (who are left to put affairs in order so that your house is not in a state of chaos, but is instead orderly and therefore worthy of the honor you deserve) need to know what to do. If this strikes you as morose or depressing, then do not dwell on mortality or sickness; instead think of it as organizing your holdings and information. If you were told that you must vacate your home in 15 minutes – what would you grab? Know that you could grab this paper and have a wealth of information to help you recreate your world. Best wishes to you in this new year. May it be your best year yet!

Every person has unique circumstances.

The following list is full of suggestions of items that, if answered, may be helpful to someone trying to honor and respect your wishes and business at a time when you are not able to assist. Use this list as a potential starting place for creating an “in case of emergency” file of your own. Vow to keep it updated – maybe once a year at least – around New Years when you are contemplating resolutions and such.

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Please use this list as an sample to create your own checklist!

My Medical information

My Legal Documents for helping me while I am living.

☐ My regular doctor is:

☐ My Living Will is located

☐ My other doctor(s) is/are:

☐ My Health Care Power of Attorney is located ☐ My appointed health care agent(s) and their address and phone numbers are:

My health insurance: ☐ Primary company name and information

☐ My durable power of attorney for financial matters is located

☐ Secondary company name and information

☐ My agent and address and phone number are:

My pharmacy:

☐ My thoughts on nursing homes are as follows:

☐ My current medicines: If I am temporarily unable to do things for myself or when I die: My Insurance: ☐ My disability insurance company:

☐ Instructions on pet(s): ☐ Veterinarian and other information ☐ House bills: ☐ Home mortgage?

☐ My cancer/dread disease/etc. insurance company

☐ My long-term care insurance company

☐ My Blood type: ☐ Other medical information to know about me:

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☐ Credit card bills: ☐ Car bills: ☐ Car loan? Lender name and location of papers

Other loans paid monthly?

Identify income and assets

☐ Which bills are paid automatically from a bank account? If so, which bank account?

☐ My income sources are:

☐ Which bills do I write a check for and mail in monthly/quarterly/yearly?

☐ My investment accounts

Miscellaneous bills.

☐ My real property

☐ Phone carrier name

☐ Location of Keys

☐ Gas and Oil Company

☐ People who owe me money?

☐ Cable TV ☐ Satellite TV provider

World Wide Web/electronic communication information:

☐ Internet service provider

☐ My email account & Password

☐ Other:

☐ My Facebook account & Password ☐ LinkedIn & Password

☐ Location of Important items:

☐ Instagram & Password

☐ My credit cards are located

☐ Other passwords:

☐ My tax records are located ☐ My social security card is located

Important people to consult:

☐ My bank account(s) are located

☐ My attorney

☐ I have a safe deposit box and it is located at

☐ My accountant

☐ My Last Will and Testament (and Living Trust if applicable) is located:

☐ My Tax preparer ☐ My financial advisor

☐ My named Executor and Trustee:

☐ My insurance agent (auto, home, life, umbrella)

☐ My plans to pay for funeral/burial/cremation expenses:

e.g. life insurance policy information

My remains: ☐ Funeral home preferred

☐ My birth certificate is located ☐ My military discharge papers are located

☐ I would like my remains

☐ My marriage certificate is located

☐ Buried?

☐ My divorce papers are located

☐ Cemetery?

☐ My life insurance policies are located:

☐ Memorial stone to say? Or type?

☐ My annuities that are payable on death are located: ☐ My IRA/401k etc. information is kept/my retirement account information:

☐ Cremation? ☐ Ashes to be scattered? Stored with whom?

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Chasing the Mediterranean Diet

Across t he World

by Jonathan Scott

I

If you’re still wondering what a Mediterranean Diet is and try a Google search, you’ll be inundated with such a variety of recipes that you might wind up still wondering what the term really means. To get to the bottom of why there’s so much hype, it’s necessary to take a wild trip that begins in Minnesota, journeys to some dilapidated towns in southern Italy, recalls the Muslim conquest of Northern Africa, joins the conquistadors, and finally winds up in the Moore County offices of the NC Cooperative Extension Service. And, somewhere in between, the story travels through the intestines of a group of stressed out rats.

We start in the 1950s when a researcher named Ancel Keys of the University of Minnesota Laboratory of Physiological Hygiene came across some unexpected findings. He realized that people living in poverty in small villages in southern Italy had statistically healthier hearts than wealthier Americans living in New York City. And, more intriguing, some of those Americans were relatives of those same Italians and had themselves immigrated to the US just decades prior. So what was up?

With the understanding science has popularized today, we could guess the difference might be in the different diets of the two groups, but 65 years ago, it was only a hunch to Ancel Keys. Based on this hunch, Keys undertook a now-famous study of seven countries across the world to see if there were correlations to be found in heart disease, nutrition and lifestyle. He found there was. (Could it have been due to following his own research that Keys lived to almost 101?)

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The diet of those heart-healthy Italian villagers had a long and varied history. The very earliest clues we have to how their ancestors ate suggests a simple triad of bread, oil, and wine. It’s easy to see how Christianity later dovetailed into bread and wine, but it might be surprising to learn of the influence of Islam centuries later. The wealth of the new Muslim Empire not only brought a cultural unity to the lands around the southern Mediterranean, but introduced new spices and fruits to the menu. Then, when Europeans looking for new trade routes stumbled into two continents blocking their way, they brought back strange new edibles, including the now-iconic tomato.

All those influences came together with fresh fish that had been a staple in the region since time immemorial. That’s why it’s impossible to pin down what a Mediterranean diet is. There are just too many aspects of what people in that part of the world eat but, as far as nutritional science is concerned, these are some important common basics: • High quantities of vegetables • Fresh fruit • Beans, nuts, and seeds • Whole grains • Olive oil • Cheese and yoghurt • Moderate amounts of fish and poultry • Water as a main beverage plus a glass of wine a day Over the six decades since Ancel Keys’ Seven Country Study, research has continued to establish the health benefits of what we now call the Mediterranean diet. It is one of the most touted diets for health and for good reason. It is the one with the most scientific research behind it. But one question has been difficult for science to answer—how does it work?

For a clue to a possible answer, we go to Poland and a researcher named Tomasz Huć, of the Medical University of Warsaw. He and his team determined that a compound called trimethylamine N-oxide (TMAO) reduced cardiac fibrosis (thickening of the heart) and signs of heart failure in lab rats. Their study involved injecting TMAO into a group of rats that had high blood pressure. The condition of the rats’ hearts continued to improve, even after taking TMAO supplementation for 56 weeks. “Our study provides new evidence for a potential beneficial effect of a moderate increase in plasma TMAO on pressure-overloaded heart,” Huć’s team reported.

Blood levels of TMAO increase after consuming foods that are high in the compound, such as fish, seafood, and vegetables—fundamental parts of the Mediterranean diet.

But to bring all this home, we have to briefly rewind the clock to the 19th century.

Just before and just after the Civil War, the American government tried to establish what were called Land Grant Colleges across the nation. The federal government gave states money to establish schools to help educate the growing population to keep pace with the growing technology. Cooperative Extension Agencies were developed, as the name implies, to extend the educational reach of the new institutions.

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One of those institutions is now North Carolina State University and, although its Extension Offices across the state are usually associated with agriculture, its mission is much wider.

For the past two years, Deborah McGiffin has served as the County Extension Director of the NC Cooperative Extension of NC State in Moore County. “Our mandate is to serve the public by providing researchbased information,” she explains. “And one of our important program areas is Family Consumer Science, which includes nutrition, health and wellness issues.” That’s why McGiffin and Janice Roberts, the Family Consumer Science Agent for Moore and Richmond Counties, have become public advocates for what the Extension Service calls “The Med Way.” NC State has developed a website, medinsteadofmeds.com. The URL itself suggests that a diet and lifestyle change to the Mediterranean Way can sometimes allow people to reduce their blood pressure and cholesterol medication or, most happily, allow them to stop taking them altogether.

What really makes all this even better is that the Med Way recipes are colorful, varied, and delicious—truly a win-win.

But as we reach the end of our journey, we find that the Med Way is actually a win-winwin-win. Ancel Keys, in his initial interest

in the link between certain menus and cardiovascular disease, likely never suspected where his research would eventually lead.

Recent studies are now linking the Med Way to a decrease in the risk of type 2 diabetes, macular degeneration, and even some forms of cancer.

If, after all this, you still need more motivation, listen to what inspired this woman. Carolyn Dunn, PhD, RDN, LDN has the distinguished title of William Neal Reynolds Distinguished Professor and Department Head of Agricultural and Human Sciences at NC State University. She describes herself as “well over 55.” As her degrees and title imply, she’s a very active professional, and she’s determined to remain so for a long time.

It was under her watch that the University produced the Med Way website. She and her team have devoted countless hours to creating, testing, and promoting dishes for eating the Med Way. “For me,” she explains, “what’s most important is the research that proves the protective effects against cognitive decline and dementia.”

I have a feeling that Dunn, following the diet she’s helped popularize, will continue to be an astute and passionate advocate for the Med Way for many, many years to come.

The only caveat that is inevitably attached to any serious discussion of the Mediterranean diet is that it simply doesn’t work unless the dieter is physically active. The choices of how to become or remain physically active, luckily, are as varied and colorful as Med Way recipes themselves.

There are many sports adults can participate in, many hobbies that keep us moving, and even walking with a friend has shown to have measurable benefits.

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Mushroom Almond Burger One of Deborah McGiffin’s favorite Med Way Recipes is the Mushroom Almond Burger These are some of the best veggie burgers ever! The small amount of sharp cheese and the umami from the mushrooms give them a great flavor.

When forming the patties, use your hands and place them directly in the hot pan. They are hard to move around prior to cooking and don’t make firm patties. Once they start cooking, the egg white helps firm them up so they can be turned easily. They are great hot, room temperature or even cold.

Serves 6 | Serving Size: 1 patty | Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cool Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes Ingredients: • ¼ cup chopped almonds • ½ cup old-fashioned oats • 1 tablespoon olive oil • ½ cup chopped green onions • 1½ cups (approximately 8 ounces) thinly sliced white mushrooms (can use crimini or shitake)

• • • • • •

½ cup cooked brown rice ⅓ cup shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese 3 egg whites 2 tablespoons chopped herbs (parsley, chives, cilantro) (optional) ½ cup whole-wheat bread crumbs (preferably panko) Salt and pepper (to taste)

Directions: 1. Toast the almonds and oats in a dry skillet stirring frequently until just brown. Set aside.

2. Cook the onions and mushrooms in the olive oil until done and no moisture remains, approximately 5-7 minutes.

3. Add the oats and almonds to the mushroom mixture.

4. Cool, then combine with the remaining ingredients. The mixture will be a bit soupy.

5. Form into 6 patties and cook on a griddle or large sauté pan. Do not get the patties too close together.

6. Let cook until medium brown before turning – this will allow the egg whites to set the patties and they will be easier to turn.

7. Cook each patty to an internal temperature of 150°F. 44

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This recipe is a Med Way version of a Southern classic that is sure to please. Using cauliflower in place of half of the grits adds vegetables and a lightness to the dish. The addition of mushrooms and onions to the grit mixture adds even more vegetables. You cannot miss with North Carolina shrimp. Topped off with prosciutto chips for a new take on an old classic.

Serves 4 | Serving Size: ¼ recipe | Prep Time: 30 minutes | Cook Time: 1 hour 30 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours Ingredients: Cauliflower Grits: Shrimp: • 2 cups cauliflower rice (uncooked) • 1 pound shrimp • 1 cup grits (uncooked) • 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice • 4 cups water • 1 teaspoon lemon zest • ½ teaspoon salt • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 2-4 teaspoons olive oil, divided • 8-ounces of white mushrooms, chopped (rough chop) Prosciutto Chips (optional): • 1 cup sliced green onions (about 1 small batch) • 2-ounces thin sliced prosciutto • ⅓-½ cup grated Parmesan cheese Directions: Cauliflower Grits: 1. Combine cauliflower rice, grits, water, and salt in a large pot.

2. Cook covered on medium heat stirring occasionally for 1 ½ hours. If mixture begins to stick, turn the heat down. Add additional water if needed, mixture should be completely cooked and creamy.

3. Heat 1-2 teaspoons of olive oil in a medium sauté pan. Add mushrooms and cook until done, about 5-7 minutes. Place cooked mushrooms in a bowl.

4. Heat 1-2 teaspoons of olive oil in a medium sauté pan. Add green onions and cook until done, about 5-7 minutes. Place cooked onions in the bowl with the mushrooms.

5. When grits are done, add the mushrooms, onions, and cheese. Mix well to combine.

Prosciutto Chips (optional): Shrimp: 1. Cook prosciutto on a griddle or in a large sauté pan.

1. Heat olive oil in a large sauté pan.

2. Use a bacon press if you have one to flatten the prosciutto.

2. Add shrimp and sauté for 2-3 minutes.

3. Cook, turning frequently until well done.

3. Add the lemon juice and zest.

4. Salt to taste.

4. Set aside to cool.

5. Crumble into small pieces.

When Ready to Serve: 1. Build individual shrimp and cauliflower grit plates by placing ¼ of the cauliflower grits on each plate and then topping with ¼ of the shrimp and ¼ of the prosciutto chips.

Cauliflower Shrimp & Grits

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7 Simple Steps to Eating the Med Way These simple steps will help you eat the Med Way every day.

1. Change your protein • Replace some of the meat in your diet with plant proteins such as beans, nuts, and seeds often.

• Eat fish and seafood at least two to three times per week. Include fatty fish, such as mackerel or salmon at least once a week. Eat fried fish only occasionally.

• Choose white-meat poultry such as turkey or chicken breast.

• Limit red meat and/or choose lean red meat.

• Greatly limit or eliminate processed meats.

2. Swap your fats • Choose olive oil.

• Replace solid fats such as butter or margarine with olive oil or canola oil.

• Use olive oil for cooking, in dressings, and marinades.

• Aim to consume at least four tablespoons of olive oil per day, while keeping within your calorie budget.

3. Eat more vegetables • Get at least three servings (three cups) of vegetables per day.

• Choose a variety of colors.

• Eat more dark green leafy vegetables such as collards, kale, spinach, chard, and turnip greens.

4. Eat more fruit • Get at least two servings (two cups) of fruits per day.

• Choose a variety of colors.

• Include berries often.

5. Snack on nuts and seeds • Choose at least three ounces (three small handfuls) of nuts and seeds per week, while keeping within your calorie budget.

• Avoid candied, honey-roasted, and heavily salted nuts and seeds.

6. Make your grains whole • Eat grains as grains.

• Choose whole grains such as oatmeal, quinoa, brown rice, and popcorn.

• Look for “whole” in the first ingredient on the ingredient list (e.g., “whole wheat”) when choosing bread, pasta, and other grain-based foods.

7. Rethink your sweets • Limit your sugar intake.

• Choose no more than three servings per week of high-sugar foods and drinks such as sugar-sweetened snacks, candies, desserts, or beverages.

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OutreachNC.com | JANUARY 2020 Source:https://medinsteadofmeds.com/tips-and-tools/introduction-7-simple-steps/

Take the Worry Out of Caregiving Let us provide a referral to one of 300 carefully screened private-duty caregivers who work according to your needs and schedule.

- Lindsey Simmons Registry Administrator

Caregiver Registry in North Carolina

Call us TODAY!

910-692-0683 | www.AOSNC.com OutreachNC.com 47 JANUARY 2020 |

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d n u o r A g n i g A World the CHINA

by Amy Phariss

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Twenty years ago, as a young woman and freshlyminted Peace Corps volunteer, I was likely, on a January morning, swathed in layers of clothing and clutching a hot cup of water to keep myself warm. I taught English at a college in southwest China, somewhere on the road to Tibet, at a school lodged neatly between a city of one million and the iconic rural countryside. In one direction, down an unpaved and decidedly bumpy road, was the city of Mianyang, with high-rise apartment buildings, taxis careening around corners and grocery stores with escalators. In the other direction, down a dirt path littered with trash and traversed by free-range animals and fruit-sellers who still used an abacus, was the countryside, gently rolling hills covered in fields and dotted with the homes of villagers who held tight to China’s agrarian history.

I saw, firsthand, the juxtaposition between modern China, with shrinkwrapped chicken breasts and Diet Coke for sale, and the traditional village lifestyle, sans indoor plumbing or refrigerators.

The college was a meet-in-the middle world where the young Chinese population prepared for jobs in cities, teaching in schools for better pay than many of my students’ parents made as farmers, many of them barely scraping together enough money to send a child off for schooling at all.

As I sat between the two worlds, I observed many differences between my American culture and that of China. One of the greatest differences, to my mind, was the treatment of the elderly in China compared with my

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experiences in America. In the Chinese countryside, and even in the cities, the elderly were respected and treated with a dignity I didn’t see in America. Perhaps part of that was simply that I didn’t see as many elderly in America at all, as so many Americans 65+ lived in assisted living facilities rather than among family. In fact, as I watched the Chinese elderly walk throughout the campus and the streets of the city, I realized that none of my friends back home had a grandparent living in the home with the family, and in my own family, all of my grandparents lived in assisted living facilities and retirement homes. I noticed how often I saw Chinese grandparents walking slowly with a toddler, sauntering through a city park or down a country road, keeping pace with the child rather than the American way, the child keeping pace with the adult. I saw grandparents carrying babies on their backs in baskets far more often than mothers carrying babies, and in my apartment complex, it was commonplace to see a grandmother holding her grandchild a few inches above the ground, whistling softly to cue the child to pee. Potty training in a land without diapers was a revelation to my American eyes.

I began to understand the family dynamics of my Chinese counterparts as I settled in, and with many visits to villages with my students, I saw a lifestyle foreign to me. I saw three generations (sometimes four) living together, caring for each other, fighting with each other and generally depending on each other, a social safety net based on give and take that was far more relational and personal than anything I’d seen back home. I was, on the one hand, compelled and taken with this seemingly natural, connected way of life, and I was also slightly uncomfortable with the thought of embarking on such a familial journey with my own relatives.

I loved watching Chinese grandparents, children and grandchildren sitting around the family table for meals, caring for each other and often sleeping together.

I didn’t know, however, if I could see that in my own future, my parents whipping up dinner and running after my children while I put in a few more hours at work or did the food shopping. It all seemed, well, a little close for my American sensibilities, and I realized that my sense of independence (so ingrained in my cultural fabric) was based in large part on my separation from my parents rather than my connection to them or dependence on them. As a child, I was taught to take care of myself, and the thought of helping my parents was not only uncomfortable to me but also, it turns out, to my parents, who said they would feel weak and demoralized to need care from their children.

Thus, the pros and cons of each of our culture came to light as I remained in China for my two-year Peace Corps stint and kept in touch with several students and friends over the years. In general, I saw a great deal of respect for the elderly in China, based on the Confucian principle of filial piety, a virtue fostered and cultivated, denoting love and respect for one’s parents and ancestor.

My Chinese students, for example, returned home during any vacation or school break to help their parents with farming or simply to spend time with them. There was never a sense of dread in this journey; rather, my students were eager to see their parents, return to their villages and eat the foods they missed at school. One student came to my office one day quite excited. She’d

just received her first paycheck as an English tutor. She was shaking (literally) with happiness that she would be able to purchase her father’s favorite liquor and take it home to him that coming weekend. The love and adoration often went both ways, of course. When I spent a summer with a Chinese family in the town of Panzhihua, the mother and aunt always plucked out the biggest, juiciest pieces of meat for their son, ensuring he ate as much as possible to keep him healthy and strong.

When I embarked on the idea of aging around the world, I immediately thought back to those memories from my Chinese experience and planned to write a heart-warming article on the multi-generational family dynamic in China, how families all live together, supporting one another and caring for each other, the young and old, the old and young. As I began my research, however, a different reality came to light. In the wake of dramatic economic development and as a result of the effects of the one-child policy (OCP) – instituted in 1979 to curb China’s rapidly growing population – the traditional family dynamics I saw as commonplace in China twenty years ago have changed, and in some ways, particularly regarding China’s aging and senior population, the changes have been stressful and uncertain. Traditionally, a Chinese senior depended on his or her family for care in the second half of life.

What I saw as a Peace Corps volunteer reflected this tradition. Parents invested all of their time, energy and financial support in their children with the expectation that the children would, in turn, care for the parents in their senior years. Often, the parents cooked, cleaned and cared for their grandchildren as part of this arrangement, thus enabling their children to go out and work freely in cities or on family farms. With economic development, however, many of China’s young adults are lured to jobs in cities, migrating far from home in search

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of better job opportunities, education and independence.

Many of these children send remittances home, but even that can be precarious in large cities where expenses are high, jobs can be scarce and social security is all but non-existent.

As the younger population migrates, the older population remains in villages and smaller towns, often caring for the grandchildren or simply left alone to care for themselves. As one interviewee said in Zhang and Goza’s article titled “Who Will Care for the Elderly in China,” published in the Journal of Aging Studies in April of 2006, “...the young are now migrating to urban centers to work cheaply as manual laborers. Those left behind in the countryside are the old, the weak, the sick and the disabled.”

Even if children send money home for the care of their parents, the seniors are quick to point out that money cannot care for a person’s emotions or replace family connection.

As China’s economic development has moved at breakneck speed, the cultural traditions and norms have struggled to keep pace. In the recent few decades, many migrants remained in urban areas rather than making money and returning to villages or hometowns. They met and married spouses, had children and continued working in jobs unavailable to them in the countryside.

This meant parents and grandparents had to depend on themselves or neighbors and community members for assistance, defying the traditional pattern of family life so entrenched in Chinese culture. As the internet expands, there has been a slow reversal of this trend, and some migrants are returning to villages to launch new lives as entrepreneurs; however, this reverse migration is relatively new and precarious, leaving many Chinese

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seniors alone in villages or rural communities while their children struggle for a better future in the cities. In 2016 alone, nearly 300 million rural Chinese migrated to cities.

China’s one-child policy (OCP) has also created social consequences, many of which are faced by its aging population. Traditionally, Chinese families have been large and birth rates high. In 1970, for example, the birthrate was 8 live births per woman. Today, the birthrate is 1.7 live births per woman. With fewer children, Chinese parents have fewer options for family care in their senior years. Traditionally, children shared the responsibility of caring for parents. Parents might engage in what is called ‘living by turns,’ where the parent lives with different children for periods of time. Several of my Chinese friends, for example, bring parents to live with them once they have children of their own. In this way, Chinese parents are useful to their children and grandchildren and are also cared for as they age. Another arrangement, much more common today as western influence and ideas of independence grow in popularity, is the ‘living close but separately’ plan, where parents live alone but close to children. The child (or children) can care for the parents but also live independently of each other. This is growing increasingly popular among urban Chinese residents, who have the financial and community support to sustain two households. In families with siblings, one sibling might care for the parents and/or live with the parents, and the other siblings would contribute financially to both the parents and the sibling providing care. With the OCP, an only-child must provide all of the financial, physical and emotional support him or herself. Chinese seniors, many of whom are in the ‘sandwich generation’ with their own parents to care for, do not want to put the burden of this care on their children and feel the pressure has become too great for their one child. Zhang and Goza write, “The general conclusion was that no one should count on his or her only child as their sole insurance against old age.

They also indicated that as parents of a single child they would still invest most of their resources in this child and expect little, if anything, in return.”

Without the security of the traditional family structure, and as options and western ideas develop within Chinese culture, the Chinese government, communities and individuals are becoming creative, industrious and determined to solve the issue of who will care for China’s aging population as it explodes in the coming decades.

In the 1990s, insurance policies became available (mostly through private funding) for the parents of one child families. These policies include support for elderly parents of one child, safety insurance for an only child and insurance for couples with no children at all. Most who can afford such policies reside in urban areas, and many rural residents are still unaware such policies exist or do not have the income to purchase them. In addition to insurance policies, communities are responding to the needs of seniors by creating neighborhood committees made up of local citizens to provide assistance for older residents including activities, educational resources and safety patrols. Protestant churches also provide these services in the community, including nursing homes and health clinics.

Many seniors, having watched the incredible economic transitions of the past 40 years, wonder: what will our society look like in another 10 or 20 years? What can we expect?

All of this cultural transition, however, is not bad. There is also a sense of independence for many seniors who are able to choose their retirement style, which might include spending the second half of life in a community designed to meet their needs, full of other seniors, planned activities and a slower pace of life. Rather than depending on their children, who are struggling with China’s new economy and the pressures of providing for their own children, retirees can live separately from their children but nearby, providing help when needed but not living alongside family, which can be stressful and tiresome. My own best friend, a Chinese woman named Cindy, lives exactly this lifestyle, a merging of the traditional culture and the modern reality. Cindy’s parents live in the same apartment complex she, her husband and her daughter live in, and her parents are able to visit with their grandchild daily and help out but not feel burdened or overwhelmed with responsibility.

“I want my parents to relax after giving me so much during my childhood. I don’t want them to keep working,” Cindy says. “I have hired a nanny for our daughter, but my parents are also close by so we can all help each other.”

As we chat on her sofa so many years after my Peace Corps days, Cindy’s mother is in the kitchen peeling apples for a snack and making tea, lest we catch cold in the damp winter afternoon. The apartment is comfortable, and the nanny has taken the baby for a bath. It’s not the lifestyle I saw twenty years ago, in the villages and hometowns of my students, but it’s an answer to the changes China faces in its new role on the world stage, changes that filter down through the fabric of society. What will it look like in another decade? We’ll all have to wait, cups of tea in hand, and see.

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Aging in China >1 Billion

25%

1.7

Roughly 25% of China’s senior citizens live by themselves. In some Chinese provinces, ordinances give employees time off to visit and spend time with parents who are 60+.

The fertility rate has declined rapidly in China, from 8 live births per woman in 1970 to 1.7 live births in 2020.

The infant mortality rate has also plummeted in China, from 200+ (per live birth) in 1950 to 8.4 in 2020.

$3K

$11K

Unlike other Asian countries The average annual income (Japan and S. Korea), longin China is 82,461 yuan, term care in China is almost which is approximately entirely private pay, the $11,705.23 USD. cost of which reaches up to 54 OutreachNC.com | JANUARY 2020 $3,000 per month.

China’s national population, as of 2019, is 1,433,783,686 people.

77.5 Life expectancy in China has risen from 45 years in 1950 to 77.5 years today.

3% According to the Chinese Ministry of Civil Affairs, for every 1,000 elderly Chinese there are only roughly 30 available nursing home beds.

128 Million

Population of people 60+ in China is roughly 128 million. By 2050, China’s 60+ population is estimated to reach more than 300 million.

1.05 China’s gender ratio is 48.7% women and 51.3% males, with a ratio of 1.05 males to females.

September th

9

September 9th is a Chinese holiday celebrating and honoring the elderly.

d n u o r A g n i Ag World e h t NEW SERIES FOR 2020 Join OutreachNC Magazine for a special series exploring aging around the world. We take an indepth look at the ways in which people age across the globe, from cultural traditions to economic circumstances to the social response to growing older in places geographically, economically and culturally unique from each other. We’ll explore aging in the following six countries:

Cuba Ghana France

China India Greece JANUARY 2020 |

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s e s s t i e r s n n u u S &S Photo Essay by Brady Beck

With 2020 upon us, we are taking a moment to embrace the simplest gift of a new year, the gift we receive twice daily: the sunrises and sunsets opening our days and tucking us gently into night.

Brady Beck captures a series of both in a photo essay we can embrace any time of day, while we sit at our desks, relax by a fire or read by the light of a lamp just before turning over in sleep. As Beck says, “I think most of us take for granted that the sun rises every day. Depending on weather conditions and our vantage point, each one is unique. Don’t worry if you missed the sunrise this morning. There will be another tomorrow.”

Here’s to 365 sunrises and accompanying sunsets. Let us take a moment to enjoy the gift of nature and unwind in a show of big-sky magic.

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OutreachNC.com | JANUARY 2020

Shrimp boat off the coast of North Carolina getting an early start on the day.

JANUARY 2020 | OutreachNC.com 57 Longleaf pine and their intricate needle patterns always make for interesting backgrounds for the rising sun.

“A large drop of sun lingered on the horizon and then dripped over and was gone, and the sky was brilliant over the spot where it had gone, and a torn cloud, like a bloody rag, hung over the spot of its going. And dusk crept over the sky from the eastern horizon, and darkness crept over the land from the east.” ― John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

58

Cloud formations on the horizon can often lead to the appearance of fire in the sky OutreachNC.com | JANUARY 2020 or they can block the view of the rising sun altogether.

A balanced mix of sunlight, soil, fire and rain lead to this beautiful scene from Richmond County.

JANUARY 2020 | OutreachNC.com 59

Foggy sunrise in the Smokies with a female white-tailed deer grabbing a few more bites of grass before she returns to the woods for the day.

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GREY MATTER

See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 64

ACROSS

1. Egyptian bull-god 5. America 8. Type of field (abbr.)

11. Reagan’s Deputy AG 13. Negative 14. Mother of Hermes 15. Summer and Winter Olympics gold medal winner 16. In shape 17. Oh my goodness!

18. People of Guinea or Sierra Leone 20. A form of “to be” 21. Succulent plant 22. Estranges 25. Honest 30. Showing conviction 31. High schoolers’ test

32. Implant 33. Acknowledgment 38. Cash dispenser 41. Transferred to another 43. Superhero group 45. Photographers 48. Small, rich sponge cake 49. Power to perceive 50. Heavy cavalry sword 55. Israel’s first permanent UN delegate 56. Everything 57. Afflicted 59. Language spoken in Chad 60. Pioneering MC Kool Moe __ 61. Jewish spiritual leader 62. Keyboard key 63. Soviet Socialist Republic 64. Impudence

DOWN

1. Type of degree 2. Expression of sorrow or pity 3. Large, predatory lizard 4. River in Romania 5. Biased 6. Parties 7. TV’s used to need one 8. Philly football player 9. Recognized ethnic group of China 10. Gradually disappear 12. Large, dark antelope 14. Vegetarians won’t eat it 19. Takes the energy out of 23. Body part 24. Succeed in achieving 25. Where golfers begin 26. Computer memory 27. One who buys and sells securities 28. Midway between north and northeast 29. Quiet and rather dull 34. A limb on which to walk 35. It precedes two 36. Of she 37. Commercials 39. Necessary for sewing 40. Infectious viral disease 41. Expression of good wishes 42. Some are contact 44. More plentiful 45. Secret political clique 46. Behind the stern of a ship 47. Supernatural force 48. Altar in Orthodox churches 51. Swiss river 52. Impartiality 53. “Luther” actor Idris 54. They resist authority (slang) 58. Criticize

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I have been a beloved actress and animal activist for decades. I have appeared on programs like “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and a long-running hit about senior women living together.

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FUN FACTS The first New Year’s celebration dates back 4,000 years.

Julius Caesar, the emperor of Rome, was the first to declare Jan. 1 a national holiday. He named the month after Janus, the Roman god of doors and gates. Janus had two faces, one looking forward and one looking back. Caesar felt that a month named after this god would be fitting.

45% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions. The five most popular New Year’s resolutions are: 1. ‘exercise to get in shape’ (19.7%) 2. ‘diet to lose weight’ (18.3%) 3. ‘save money’ (14.8%) 4. ‘eat healthier in general’ (11.9%) 5. ‘something for self care’ (5.5%)

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OVER MY SHOULDER

Ready or not, here comes a New Year!

by Ann Robson

The ball has been dropped. The champagne has lost its fizz. The house is a mess. The black-eyed peas and collard greens have been devoured.

There’s a new year and new decade knocking at your door.

Now what?

Resolutions? What are you going to do now that another year has slipped away? It’s customary to look back at what was great or good or middling last year and plan to make things better or different or the same. There’s a new buzzword for planning your life: intentionally.

At first I found this relatively new concept a bit confusing as it implied that we have been living life randomly.

We moved from age to age coping with whatever came our way while hoping we were doing things right. This new idea of ‘intentionally’ suggests living life in a simple, more organized fashion, not letting circumstances control us but controlling them instead.

HAP

this is the year to take a good look at how we live from hour to hour, day to day, month to month, year to year. If we can identify what makes us happy — not the passing happiness of one or two events but that which makes us happy at our very core, then we should concentrate on doing more of that and less of that which causes stress and less than happy feelings.

PY

NEW R A E Y

Realistically, sometimes we just can’t get rid of bothersome things in our lives. That’s where ‘intentionally’ comes in. Only you can determine how to have your best life. Your best life and mine will not look alike. What I consider a top priority may be way down on your list, and vice-versa.

“Creativity is intelligence having fun” according to Albert Einstein. For your planning for this coming year, 0 and beyond, this is a good 2 20 E TO M O guideline. Think of all you can C WEL do to be happy and to make others happy. It’s still the little things that count. Your resolutions can be as small or as large as you want. Be realistic: we can’t change the world at large or even our world overUnknowing what we were doing, many of us of a certain night but baby steps lead to bigger steps then to running. age likely have lived intentionally. Most of us have a plan Embrace 2020 as a milestone in your best life. of some sort to get us from here to there. We don’t all take the same route but may have the same destination in mind. Having a backup plan or two (or even three or four) has been part of life. I’ve long believed the saying “Man proposes, God disposes”. I have no idea where that bit of Ann Robson is the author of knowledge originated but have found it to be profound“Over My Shoulder: Tales of Life and Death and Everything In ly accurate. As much as we plan ahead there’s always the Between.” She may be reached at unknown – an accident, an illness, a fatality — that might overmyshoulder@charter.net . surprise us.

Living with intentional purpose is something most of us aspire to, whether we have ever used those words. Perhaps JANUARY 2020 |

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photo of the month

by Brady Beck 66

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