May 2024 OutreachNC

Publisher: Amy Natt AmyN@aosnc.com

MAY 2024

As we age, from birth to our final years, we need care. We rely on the support and assistance of others (and ourselves) to thrive and grow. We depend on parents, siblings, friends, community members, doctors, nurses, counselors and more. We are also caregivers. We are the ones who provide care, supporting others as they thrive and grow. We look after our children and help our parents. We support our neighbors and help shoulder the burdens in our communities. We are, at some level, all deeply connected to and dependent upon each other.

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Editor-in-Chief: Amy Phariss Editor@outreachnc.com

Creative Director: Sarah McElroy Coalfeather Art & Design

Marketing & Ad Sales: Emma Campbell EmmaC@aosnc.com

Well, it’s official: fall is here. I had my first pumpkin-spiced

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

ture dipped low enough to merit a fleece.

Don’t worry. It was decaf.

May is here, and we’ve got a jam-packed ONC issue for you!

In our feature, we dive into the importance of social connection for caregivers, who are often so busy caring for others they forget (or don’t have time) to care for themselves. We discuss the signs of caregiver burnout and how social support can help, and we give actionable tips to increase social support for everyone’s benefit.

Amy Natt answers a reader’s question about honoring herself and the family home in this month’s Ask the Expert. Natt offers suggestions for managing a tricky family issue and for incorporating memories and traditions to allow everyone to adjust to the change.

In a new series exploring care management, AOS Referral Specialist Ashley Winters helps readers understand care management including insight from AOS’s lead care manager, Jennifer Tyner. Tyner has been a care manager for over 20 years.

If you’ve been wanting to get some plants into your home but haven’t gotten around to picking them out,

October is a gentle month. There are constant reminders of change. we are lucky, toward each other. We have lingering conversations over the flames flicker. Smoke dances around us in a circle. We zip our jackets

we’ve got a treat for you. Contributor Latorius Adams’ daughter and her fellow Girl Scout have created a project aimed at educating us about the importance of plants for indoor air quality. They offer suggestions for choosing the best indoor plants…and keeping them alive!

In this month’s feature, we’re starting an important conversation: care community for ourselves or a loved one? Fox Hollow Senior Robin Hutchings offers inside perspective for making this decision.

In Ask the Expert, Amy Natt answers a reader’s question regarding away without any estate planning. Without a will or access to important

Whew! On top of all this, we celebrate our mothers on May 12 and remember and honor those who have fallen in service of our country the last Monday in May, Memorial Day. We hope you enjoy the month ahead. As Anais Bin so eloquently reminds us,

Physical therapist Dr. Sara Morrison of Total Body Therapy and Wellness potential diagnostic tools used in physical therapy to help diagnose these tools differ from what other doctor’s offices may offer.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is

I’m going to agree with Nathaniel Hawthorne this month, who wrote: I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine spent almost all the daylight hours in the open air.

Here’s to enjoying the October sunshine, falling leaves and daylight

Indeed,

instagram.com/agingoutreachservices/

ASK THE EXPERT: MOVING ON

Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA, AOS Care Management | amyn@agingoutreachservices.com

Q: I’ve decided to sell our family home. I know that my kids will be upset, but it doesn’t make financial sense for me to live there, and I don’t want to worry about things like a leaking roof or whether the hot water heater is going to go out. My husband died a few years ago, and I find all of the upkeep overwhelming. I want to spend less time taking care of things and more time volunteering, spending time with family and traveling with friends. My kids, however, want me to keep the family home. They like coming here for holidays and spending time together where they grew up. They offer to help, but they’re busy with their own lives, and I end up doing most of it on my own. How can I do what’s best for me while honoring their attachment to their childhood home?

A: Childhood homes can certainly hold a lot of emotional ties and memories. That nostalgic bond can make it difficult to let go and move into the next phase of life. If you have decided that it is time for you to move and find something more in line with your budget and lifestyle, good for you. This is the time in your life that you should be embracing the experiences that bring you joy and purpose. If having less to worry about and freeing up funds you can use to travel brings you peace, then you should put your plan in place to make the move.

If your adult children are interested in keeping the home, you could offer to let them buy you out, with the understanding that they will then be responsible for all of the maintenance and upkeep. If none of them are able or willing to purchase the home, then they will eventually accept that you are ready to let it go and move onto your next chapter. Having a well-orchestrated plan with a timeline will give them time to come to terms with the change.

Making the decision is the hard part, once that is finalized you can focus on doing some things to honor all of the special memories made in your home. You can start by identifying where you will move, when you will move and what items you will be taking with you. Once that is determined, plan a time that the kids can all come and help you go through the other items and take things that hold special meaning to them. You can determine the last holiday you will host in the home and plan to make it extra special, focusing on all of their favorite childhood memories, foods, activities, stories etc.

You could consider doing a photo shoot with you all together at the home, making a scrap book of all of your favorite things about the home and documenting all of the important things that happened in the home over the years. These stories can become their legacy as they come to terms with letting the physical building go. Take the time to say goodbye to a place that has provided your family with a legacy.

Once you have settled into your new home, things may be a little different at family gatherings, but you can incorporate all of the same traditions from childhood into your new house and before you know it, it will feel like home. You have been the caretaker of the family, the matriarch and keeper of tradition; you can continue to do these things while allowing others in the family to begin to step into these roles as well. Life marches forward and your new home will be filled with new memories. Enjoy this new stage of life and the freedoms it brings you.

SOCIAL SUPPORT: Helping care for caregivers

A key aspect of aging well and thriving is social connection. We write often about the importance of social connection as we age. Positive, healthy social interaction boosts everything from immunity to overall quality of life. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), social connectedness is “the degree to which people have and perceive a desired number, quality and diversity of relationships that create a sense of belonging, and being cared for, valued and supported.” The key here are the relationships that make us feel safe, valued and supported.

Social connectedness leads many positive physical and mental outcomes, including:

• improved sleep

• decreased depression and anxiety

• improved ability to recover from stress

• improved healthy eating and physical activity, leading to healthy weight

• reduced risk of violent and suicidal behaviors

• prevention of serious illness and outcomes such as heart disease, stroke and dementia

Social connection often leads to shared enjoyment, a term researchers use for positive interactions we have with others. Shared enjoyment increases our positive affect, which in turn increases resilient thinking. Mental resilience is linked to less depression and anxiety and greater well-being, vitality and physical health and wellness.

Often, the people who get the least social connection are the ones who can benefit most from these relationships. Caregivers fit into this group.

A caregiver is defined as “a family member or paid helper who regularly looks after a child or a sick, elderly or disabled person.” Many caregivers are unpaid (or informal) and are family members who care for loved ones. In the U.S. alone, over 43 million caregivers have provided unpaid care for an adult or child in the last year (2015).

This care and responsibility can take a toll. According to a recent AARP study, “Half of caregivers (50%) said caregiving increased their level of emotional stress, while more than one third (37%) said it impacted their physical feelings of stress.” Social support and connection can help lower these numbers

for caregivers. But finding time for socializing and connection is hard! It takes time and energy to meet a friend for a walk or even to have a phone conversation. Caregivers are busy not only caring for a loved one but also for themselves. Many caregivers are part of the “sandwich generation” – people often in their 40s and 50s who are caring for parents and still have children at home. These caregivers have limited time, energy and resources to take care of themselves and are vulnerable to burnout. According to the Cleveland Clinic, research indicates more than 60% of caregivers experience symptoms of burnout.

How can caregivers take care of themselves with so much of their time and attention spent caring for others?

First, identify the need for more support, care and connection. Some signs you may be heading toward burnout are:

• Feeling anxious and overwhelmed – you’re constantly thinking, worrying and managing in your head, unable to relax even if you have downtime.

• Feeling exhausted, like you can never get enough sleep – you go to bed tired and wake up tired.

• Having trouble sleeping (your mind races at night with worry or a focus on your to-do list) or you don’t get enough sleep (trying to fit in another task or chore when everyone else is asleep)

• Feeling sad or hopeless and losing motivation to do anything “fun” or relaxing – you just don’t have the interest you used to in the things that once brought you joy.

• Missing opportunities for self-care tasks like showering, brushing your teeth or getting to bed on time – you’re not exercising, eating well or taking care of yourself because you’re too busy taking care of everyone else.

• Frequent physical pain – like headaches or chronic pain, which can flare up under stress and when we have emotional pain we can’t deal with.

If you find yourself nodding “yes” to any of these signs, it might be time to consider your own care, so you have the energy to support those you love. AOS Care Management's and Aging Life Care Professional™ Kate Pomplun says,

“Unfortunately we see too many instances of caregiver’s health going uncared for, resulting in their inability to be caregivers, often needing care themselves... so by staying healthy and caring for yourself, you’re equipped to be a better caregiver for your loved one.”

There are many tips and suggestions that can help you create more balance in the care you give yourself and others. Some of the key ideas are:

• Exercise/move – for better mental and physical health

• Spend some time outside, preferably in the sunshine, which can help with mood and sleep

• Try to eat more balanced, nutritious meals so you’re not depleted of important vitamins and nutrients, which your body needs during times of stress

• Seek support and ask for help – from those around you and even from professionals

The last point is often the hardest for caregivers to begin. Caregivers are used to giving care, not asking for it. There are several reasons for this.

• Many caregivers feel guilty for putting their own needs “first” – especially when the person they’re caring for is suffering. Many caregivers may believe their needs are less important or valid.

• Caregivers often operate under the belief that asking for help indicates failure or weakness. If a caregiver asks for help, it feels like admitting defeat.

• A caregiver may know where to find help for a loved one but not where to find help for their own situation or needs. There is only so much time to research resources, and many caregivers spend that time finding help for the people they love and are taking care of.

• Caregivers may find it difficult to trust others to provide help or to allow them into their homes and personal lives. Trust takes time to build and foster, and caregivers are short on free time. Privacy is often very important in caregiving situations, so trust and privacy go together. It’s hard to trust someone with your private lives and details.

If any of these thoughts or beliefs sounds familiar, it may be time to reach out for help.

You might be avoiding support because of underlying beliefs that simply aren’t true or aren’t always true. It might be true that your loved one is suffering, but that doesn’t mean your struggles don’t matter.

In fact, asking for help and support for yourself is a great way to continue caring for a loved one. It means you’ll have more energy and capacity for the care you provide to others.

After you’ve identified the need for more support, the next step is to seek it out. This is often the hardest step for caregivers. There is a shortage of time and resources. There are kids to feed, grandkids to put to bed and a parent to drive to a doctor’s appointment. You might be taking care of a spouse with dementia, which is a fulltime job. When is there time to meet a friend for coffee or attend a support group?

There are ways to make the transition from no support to some support easier and more realistic.

1. Figure out your barriers. What’s standing in your way of connecting more with friends? Is it time? Energy? Distance? Guilt? Think about what’s stopping you from reaching out. Often, when we can identify the barrier to success, it’s easier to remove than we thought. If you can’t

meet your sister for lunch because she lives 30 minutes away, she might be up for a Zoom lunch. Or you might offer to meet half-way. The first step is understanding what’s standing in your way. Pomplun has worked with many caregivers and helped them find better balance and support. She says, “How might you be able to get a bit of time back to use for some of the suggested activities? Do you have siblings or other family members who can help? Even if it were a few hours once or twice a month to give you some time “off.”  If they do not live locally, are there any tasks they can help with remotely? These could include tasks like financial management, even spending some time on a video call to engage and occupy your care recipient while you have a few minutes to yourself or time to make your own phone calls can be a huge help.”

2. Start small. Attend a support group once per month instead of trying to go weekly. Start walking for 10 minutes, 3 times a week instead of an hour a day. Schedule a phone call with a friend for Sunday evening or try to reach out to a friend each day by text.

Small goals are more realistic and easier to achieve, and momentum matters. Once you feel better with a little support, it gets easier to find the time and energy for more.

3. Communicate with loved ones. It’s hard to get help or support if nobody knows you need it (or want it). Tell someone close to you that you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Some people can offer physical help (like running errands or coming to sit with a loved one while you take a break). Some people can offer emotional support (listening is an invaluable gift), and some friends may offer advice or ideas for ways to improve a situation. So many people have been where you’re at before, and it helps to talk with people who understand what you’re going through.

4. Leave it open-ended. Many people offer help, and in the moment, we may not need the help. Sometimes we can’t think of what it is we need at all. But in the future, we may think of what we need or how we need it. You can say, “I don’t need anything right now, but I’d love to know I can reach out when I do.” This leaves the door open for help when you need it, without the guilt of “bothering” someone by asking for it.

5. Seek professional support. Professionals are skilled resources for all sorts of support. Care managers, social workers, counselors, clergy and others are all trained to provide care for people caring for others. Asking for professional help is a great way to keep things private or to be vulnerable without feeling judged. Professionals are also trained listeners, so they can listen and allow you to speak, while listening for key information. You may say, “I’m not sleeping at night and worry all the time my mother will fall again.” A professional will hear the emotion and worry as well as the anxiety and sleeplessness. They can help you find treatment for insomnia and counseling for anxiety. Professionals can also connect you with resources, like support groups.

Pomplun also reminds readers professional help can aid with care for the care recipient as well. She says, “Do you have the financial means to use some respite services? There

are caregiver/companion services that allow trained professionals to remain with and care for your loved one while you either leave the house to do something for yourself... or you could even remain home but able to enjoy a book, phone call, religious study/online service, or nap! Does your area offer an adult day care program? Some areas offer grant services for respite if it would be a financial burden to you.”

Time and again, we see the same patterns in caregiving. A loved one is suffering. We want to help and care for them, so we do. We step in and step up. Then, after time, the support we’re offering takes a toll. Time is short. Resources are limited. There aren’t enough hours in the day to fit it all in, let alone meet a friend for dinner or go to Jazzercise. Slowly, our worlds become smaller. The role of caregiver means we give; sometimes the giving means we are heading for burnout. Social connection is one of the simplest (not easiest) ways to avoid burnout and to make sure we have the energy and resources to be a resource for others. Social interaction isn’t a luxury for caregivers but a necessity, offering a lifeline of support, resilience and connection when we’re facing the demands of caring for others.

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6405300/ https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiver-statistics-demographics/ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9225-caregiver-burnout

CARE MANAGEMENT: WHAT IS CARE MANAGEMENT?

Ashley Winters, Referral Specialist, AOS At Home Care

According to the Aging Life Care Association, “Aging Life Care management is a holistic, client-centered approach to planning with and caring for aging adults, dependent adults, or others facing ongoing health or disability challenges.” As Aging Life Care Professionals, care managers help clients navigate the often challenging aspects of aging. This helps relieve some of the potential burdens in a client's life, such as health issues, disability, financial problems, legal matters and more.

I asked Lead Care Manager for AOS Care Management, Jennifer Tyner, who has over 20 years of experience supporting families and helping them navigate the complexities and various aspects of aging, for some insight.

Q: Care Management encompasses eight knowledge areas: crisis intervention, health and disability, financial, housing, family, local resources, advocacy, and legal. At the heart of it is the expert care manager. How would you define care management?

A: I like to look at it as a client's personal social worker. We are the central command of a client’s care.

Q: How do you feel your recent talk on Family Estrangement ties into the eight knowledge areas, specifically family and the dynamics you see every day with your clients?

A: I’d say it focuses on family, health and advocacy.  It was important for me to ensure they knew the toll this is taking on their physical and mental health and understand they aren’t alone as well as how to recover from such a tragic event.

ALCA

Health and Disability – As health and human services specialists, care managers are responsible for coordinating, communicating, and oftentimes advocating for their client’s needs. Whether its for a brain injury or an evaluation for an early dementia diagnosis, a care manager will be there every step of the way.

Financial – Care managers are able to help get the conversation started regarding Power of Attorney, longterm care insurance, and pointing their clients to the appropriate local resources where needed.

Housing – Finding appropriate housing for a client is vital to their success in aging well. A care manager will be knowledgeable of local residential options as well as “fitting” clients’ homes with appropriate devices, rails, commodes, etc. to keep homes safe and clients as independent and comfortable as long as possible.

Families – A care manager is wellversed in often fluctuating family dynamics, transitions, long-distance communication, and long-term care planning of the aging process. They help problem solve and can serve as the mediator for the aging loved ones and person(s) overseeing their care.

As health and human service specialists, care managers will oversee multiple areas of care and support the many transitions a client, and their families, may experience. They are an extra set of eyes and ears, their advocates, and so much more.

Sources: https://aginglifecare.org/

Digital and Print Readers, Digital and Print Readers,

T T ake our survey and ake our survey and share what’s important share what’s important to you as you navigate to you as you navigate your second 50. your second 50.

HEALTHIER HOME - THE POWER OF PLANTS: THE FACTS & FERNS OF INDOOR AIR QUALITY

Amy Phariss, LCMHCA, Clarity Counseling, NC | amy@claritycounselingnc.com

This month we have a special column for our readers. As a frequent contributor to OutreachNC, Latorius Adams has helped us understand senior issues from the needs of grandparents helping raise their grandchildren to understanding Huntington’s Disease. Now, her daughter is pursuing her Girl Scout Silver Award with a project centered on an issue helping seniors and providing better quality of life for all of us: indoor air quality. Adam’s daughter and her fellow Girl Scout have agreed to be interviewed by ONC regarding their project, what led them to pursue this topic and what they’ve learned about the connection between air quality and plants.

ONC thanks Ms. Adams, Mallory and Elise for their insight, contributions, and care of the environment, on both the inside and outside of our lives.

We have chosen to make an effort to address indoor air quality for seniors living in retirement homes for our Silver Award project. Indoor air quality is an important aspect of our living environment. It refers to the air quality within and around buildings and structures, especially as it relates to the health and comfort of the occupants. Factors that can affect indoor air quality include pollutants such as chemicals, dust, mold and other contaminants. For our Silver Award we would like to improve the lives of seniors by giving them and teaching them how to care for two specific indoor plants (spider plant and purple waffle plant).

ONC: Tell us about how you chose this topic for your project and why it matters to you.

Mallory & Elise: We chose this topic for our Silver Award because we wanted to find a broad problem and then focus on a small aspect of it. This topic matters because we value and respect our elders, so we wanted to be able to be around them and help them for this project.

ONC: Why do seniors need to consider indoor air quality and how it affects their health?

Elise:

Older adults need to consider indoor air quality because they are more susceptible to respiratory issues and other health problems caused by poor air quality.

To improve their health, seniors can ensure proper ventilation in their homes, regularly clean and maintain HVAC systems, and use air purifiers to filter out pollutants.

ONC: How do plants help improve indoor air quality?

Mallory: Plants act as natural air filters by absorbing pollutants such as carbon dioxide and volatile organic compounds and releasing oxygen into the air through photosynthesis.

In addition, plants can increase humidity levels in indoor environments, which can help reduce respiratory irritation and dryness.

ONC: Which plants are the most useful for improving air quality?

Mallory: Spider plants and purple waffle plants are both known for their ability to effectively remove toxins such as formaldehyde, xylene, and benzene from the air, making them excellent choices for improving indoor air quality. These plants are low maintenance, making them easy to care for while still benefiting the overall health and well-being of indoor environments.

ONC: Which plants are the easiest to care for?

Mallory: The purple waffle plant and the spider plant are the two we chose because they are ideal for beginners and those who may not have a green thumb. They also require minimal care and attention to thrive.

Snake plants are very low maintenance and can thrive in a variety of lighting conditions. They only need to be watered occasionally and can tolerate neglect.

Purple waffle plants are considered a moderately easy indoor plant to care for. They prefer bright indirect light and need to watered daily or every other day.

ONC: What are some other benefits to having plants besides improving air quality?

Elise:

Having plants is shown to increase happiness and bring joy to a room.

It also gives people something to look forward to and enjoy. It also brings nature inside your living space that will provide a range of physical, mental, and emotional benefits that contribute to an enjoyable and healthy environment.

ONC: What are some tips and tricks for keeping plants alive and thriving inside?

Elise: Keeping plants alive and thriving indoors requires attention to their specific needs and providing the right care. Here are some tips and tricks to help maintain healthy indoor plants:

1. You should keep plants in a place where you can see it daily so that if it needs water you will remember. Be careful not to choose a pot that is too large, as this can lead to overwatering.

2. Consider rotating the plants often to ensure all sides receive light evenly.

3. Indoor plants can benefit from regular fertilization to provide essential nutrients for growth.

4. Regularly trim dead or yellowing leaves and stems to help promote healthy growth.

Remember that each plant is unique but by paying attention to these factors you can help your plants thrive indoors.

Wake 15 Girl Scout Troop #4893

Mallory & Elise

The Girl Scout Silver Award is the highest award Girl Scouts in 6th-8th grades can earn. It is focused on making a positive impact on the community through a sustainable and lasting way. Girls must demonstrate leadership skills, organizational abilities, and a commitment to making a difference to earn the Silver Award.

ACROSS

1) Simple skills

5) On-the-run GI

9) Raced down an icy chute

14) Pile set afire

15) _ fide

16) Atmosphere protector

17) Footwear item for Inspector Gadget?

19) "Chicago" actor Taye

20) Necessitate

21) Chillax

23) Milne young 'un

24) _ d'

25) Ernie's roommate, after gaining lots of weight?

27) About to go under the knife

28) Neighbor of a Malaysian

29) K'Nex alternative

30) Altitudes (Abbr.)

31) Rolling rock

33) Chophouse choices

65) Venue

35) Blow up a citadel?

37) Caviar fish

40) "I, Claudius" role

41) NYC hub

44) Singer-songwriter Tori

45) Develop

47) Not in the dark

49) Sound from a toddler's toy horn?

51) Actor Brody

52) Highchair wear

53) Put-_ (hoaxes)

54) Twinkling

55) Ferengi, e.g.

57) Stuck-together mass of towel fabric?

60) "Angie" star Davis

61) Latin "Lo!"

62) Classic Welles role

63) Famous car flop

64) Gift for a lover

DOWN

1) Android extra

2) From memory

3) Chums

4) Posted for

5) Activist Hoffman

6) Sheep's clothing?

7) Singer on "Double Fantasy"

8) Land on the Baltic Sea

9) Rustic retreat

10) Commando gun

11) Begin recycling, say

12) Fill with blood

13) Antique Chrysler makes

18) Noise blocker

22) Periodical figure

15) _ fide

16) Atmosphere protector

45) Develop

47) Not in the dark

17) Footwear item for Inspector 49) Sound from a toddler's toy Gadget? horn?

19) "Chicago" actor Taye

20) Necessitate

21) Chillax

23) Milne young 'un

24) _ d'

51) Actor Brody

52) Highchair wear

53) Put-_ (hoaxes)

54) Twinkling

55) Ferengi, e.g.

25) Ernie's roommate, after 57) Stuck-together mass of gaining lots of weight? towel fabric?

27) About to go under the knife 60) "Angie" star Davis

28) Neighbor of a Malaysian 61) Latin "Lo!"

29) K'Nex alternative

30) Altitudes (Abbr.)

31) RoHing rock

62) Classic Welles role

63) Famous car flop

64) Gift for a lover

33) Chophouse choices 65) Venue

35) Blow up a citadel?

Gray Matter Games Solutions