June 2022 OutreachNC

JUNE 2022 - 1

Feature Intro: How to Spot a Scam: The Great Pig Swindle of 2021

J U N E 2 0 2 2

Six months ago, in a wave of emotion and poor decision making, I was scammed. Looking back, the red flags were there, but that’s the power of hindsight: clarity. If I’m honest, it started forty years ago, when I was five (I’m being generous with the forty years). If you’d asked me at that tender age what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have answered without hesitation: a pig farmer.

Why a little girl in a suburb of Portland, Oregon would answer this way was curious to everyone. A pig farmer?

Why? I had no idea. Why not? I loved pigs. I thought they were cute. I loved their noses and tails. I thought they seemed like the kind of animal I could bond with, though I’m not sure why my five-year-old brain came to that conclusion.

Forty years later, my mind hadn’t changed. Though I’d had several other careers in those decades, my love of pigs never faded. My desire to own pigs was as resolute as it had been when I sported a Dorothy Hamill haircut and bell-bottom corduroy pants. I still, as a full-fledged adult, wanted pigs. Everyone in my family knows it. People buy me pig figurines and books. Anytime someone sees a pig, they text me to let me know. A few years back, a wild pig took up residence off Highway 1, near Vass. People texted me all the time with pig spottings. I was on high alert. My pig passion was in full effect.

So, six months ago, right before Christmas, a friend offered to buy me a pig. He said he had enough land to let the pig root and roam. We’d take care of our swine companion together, walking it through town on a leash and taking it to Starbucks for a pig-cup of whipped cream. I immediately said yes. Yes, to the pig. Yes, to the cuteness. Yes, to the realization of my childhood dream.

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CONTENTS ASK THE EXPERT: MANAGING CHRONIC PAIN FEATURE: HOW TO SPOT A SCAM: THE GREAT PIG SWINDLE OF 2021 FAITH: DOG YEARS

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Amy Phariss, Editor-in-Chief, OutreachNC | editor@outreachnc.com

JUNE 2022 - 2 Summer is here.

June 21 is the summer solstice, or midsummer, which means the sun reaches its highest point in the sky and we have the longest period of daylight. As of the 21st, summer has begun.

Each June, we celebrate the real stars in our lives: our pets. They are the lovable, naughty, ever-present furry (or feathered, scaled, webbed-footed) friends who keep us company late into the night and everso-early in the morning. They meow, chirp, bark, squeal and purr their way into our hearts.

This month’s feature is the story of my own journey to pet ownership, rife with scams and a fullfledged pig swindle. Learn from my mistakes!

Aging Outreach Services Care Management Associate Ashley Seace tackles this month’s Ask the Expert question regarding caring for a loved one with a chronic illness, in this case fibromyalgia. Seace explains how we can help with a loved one’s invisible illness.

We’re thrilled to have Colette Bachand back in our faith column. She writes about her own beloved dog, Gideon, and the faithfulness with which our pets stand by us through life’s trials and tribulations.

For the animal lover in all of us, whether we currently have pets or not, author Dean Koontz’s thoughts on dogs remind us of how soothing pets can be after all:

“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” facebook.com/agingoutreach/ instagram.com/agingoutreachservices/

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JUNE 2022 - 3

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ASK THE EXPERT: MANAGING CHRONIC PAIN

JUNE 2022 - 4 Question: My mom is in her mid-60s and lives with my husband and me. She suffers with fibromyalgia, which she’s had most of her life. She is sometimes very cranky and tired.

It’s hard for us to be around someone who is so often in a bad mood, but then we also feel guilty. We know she’s in pain. How can we help her without adding more stress for us?

We just want everyone to be happy.

Answer: This a good question. And it’s great that you are willing to find ways to support your mom in her pain. Fibromyalgia is what we call an invisible illness. This is a condition that causes pain all over the body, sleep problems, fatigue, anxiety and depression, cognitive issues such as memory or thinking problems, and migraines.

If we do not have it, then we find it hard to understand what someone is going through.

JUNE 2022 - 5

People with fibromyalgia often feel as though their struggles aren’t valid or that nobody believes them because this is not a physical illness that we can see.

The first step to being able to support your mom is by educating yourself on this condition and learning what symptoms she is experiencing regularly. If you understand what her symptoms may be, then you can understand what she is experiencing in the midst of the pain. This will allow you to be more sympathetic towards her.

Knowing what can cause a flare-up is another way to support your mom. What in her daily routine causes her pain to increase? Are there ways she can remain active but not overdo it?

As she goes through her daily routines, you can be there to help relieve some of the extra work she may have to do. You can assist your mom around the house or with tasks that will lead to a flare-up of the pain. If she cannot do a task in that moment, remind her that it’s okay to stop and take a break. Encourage your mom to listen to her body and then support her in those decisions. She might feel guilt or shame because she cannot do something, but rather than shaming her or getting frustrated, remind your mom everyone has limitations. It’s okay to ask for help or take a break.

Your mom wants to know that you believe her when she is struggling with the pain. It will be important for her to know that if she needs you, you will help her.

That they are still important.

It is possible that your mom is struggling emotionally in addition to her physical pain which makes her seem irritable. Try finding ways to ease some of the burdens your mom is feeling. You might have her help you cook dinner rather than try to cook the whole meal herself. Her condition may require she rests more, but she can still help and contribute.

Honor how her body feels in the moment, day by day and validate her feelings even if you can’t understand exactly what they are.

Just acknowledging that your mom is tired or cranky or sad can be helpful, especially because her illness is invisible. Your awareness and validation can help her feel seen and heard.

The best thing that you can do in this situation is to let your mom know she’s not a burden, is important to you, and that you believe her when she expresses pain and discomfort.

This emotional support can go a long way in helping her feel less shame about her condition and more compassion for herself, which can help everyone relax and enjoy each other more.

Finally, do the same for yourself. Acknowledge your own frustration, bad moods and discomfort related to your mom’s condition.

It can be overwhelming and frustrating.

Find someone you can talk with who can understand the pressure of caring for a loved one with chronic pain. Everyone needs validation, acknowledgment and support.

When you can get this for yourself, you’ll have more to give to your mom!

Loved ones with chronic pain want you to know that they are trying their best.

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JUNE 2022 - 6

HOW TO SPOT A SCAM: The Great Pig S windle of 2021

continued from page 1

JUNE 2022 - 7

Childhood dreams are powerful things, after all.

So, with this emotionally fueled determination, we pursued the pig.

Finding a miniature pig is harder than we’d imagined. They’re not for sale at pet stores or local farms. Facebook and Craigslist searches yielded some hog options, but there weren’t any cute, little, pink-nosed piglets for sale, swaddled in soft blankets, ready to come home and curl up in my bed.

We broadened the search. We included help from our teenagers, who quickly found teacup pig options that fit the bill. These piglets were tiny, spotted, genteel pigs with little daisies behind their ears and full-fledged photo shoots showing off their curled tails and delicate hoofs.

$

I fell in love. The pigs had charming names. Dolly.

Pebbles. Chloe. Florie.

I immediately bonded with images in my head of carrying the tiny piglets into Starbucks and ordering a double shot of espresso for myself and a tiny cup of lemonade for Florie.

She would, of course, wear sunglasses. The staff would swoon. They would be aflutter with her cuteness. We’d leave feeling high on the hog.

There was some real emotional investment by the time we emailed the company and requested more information about the piglets. I was sold before I heard the price, which was $750.

Okay. I could swing that for a childhood dream forty years in the making.

All I had to do was send the money to their bank account using Zelle, which is a totally legitimate way to send money. My bank uses Zelle. They weren’t asking for a cashier’s check sent to another country. They spoke perfect English and had proper grammar. I was pretty sure this was all on the upand-up, so I sent the money from my checking account and texted to confirm receipt.

Once the money was received, the pig process began to get weird. The breeders asked for delivery information including full names, home address, contact numbers, the name of the closest airport (Florie was being flown in) and email. They would, upon receiving this, begin the contract and invoice process and get Florie booked on a flight that evening.

$

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Pet scams make up 34.5% of all online shopping scams reported to the Better Business Bureau.

Pet scams have increased dramatically during the COVID pandemic (with people doing more online shopping).

The average financial loss due to a pet scam is $722.

Younger people fall victim to pet scams more often than older buyers, with the average age being 44 years old.

82% of pet scams involve the purchase of dogs. Other pets include cats, birds, iguanas, pigs and more.

Montana has the most pet scams per capita. Colorado, Nevada, Idaho and the District of Columbia follow behind.

That evening? Hmmmm. I wondered how it could be handled so quickly. I called a friend who’d purchased a dog this way, and he said the dog arrived just as promised, with all relevant paperwork and in great shape. I breathed a sigh of relief. I figured I was nervous just because it was a new way to buy a pet, and I told myself to relax.

The breeders sent an email asking me to sign documents to change ownership of the pig so the pig could be delivered to Raleigh. It sounded like they were knowledgeable about this whole pigshipping process. I signed.

There were more emails, confirmations, signatures and tracking codes. Then, I was promised the shipper would be in touch to confirm the time of arrival and who would be picking Florie up. I was at a holiday party as these texts flew between us, and I told several co-workers about Florie’s imminent arrival. Several people seem perplexed: you’re shipping a pig from San Jose, CA, same-day delivery?

Yes. Yes! I am. I’ll pick her up tonight!

Friends shrugged and wished me well, and it was around early evening that I began to wonder how on earth a pig could fly across the country so late in the day and arrive that evening. I texted the breeders, and they said she would arrive early the next morning due to her late departure. Once I heard from the shipper, it would be settled, and I’d get an accurate time.

The breeder actually gave me the shipper’s telephone number. When I called, they answered with the shipping company’s name and had all the details. The shipper assured me it’s perfectly normal to ship animals in this manner.

Just one thing: they needed me to pay a $1300 insurance fee to have the pig delivered in North Carolina, which they assured me would be reimbursed in cash upon arrival.

What?

I texted the breeder who told me this was normal.

Alarm bells were going off in my head. It was now evening, and the workday was over. I had some time to sit and think clearly about what was going on. I called another friend who often ships horses to Europe to run this whole scenario by her. Ten minutes later, I realized I may have been scammed.

The scammers kept texting and trying to assure me the $1300 was a normal, legitimate fee. When I told them I wasn’t paying more money and asked to be reimbursed, they were silent.

They stopped responding to messages by email or text. By seven o’clock, I knew I’d been scammed.

I obviously never got Florie. Luckily, I also never sent the $1300 insurance fee and was able to stop myself from being further scammed, which I learned is how these scams work. They begin with a reasonable amount of money, but the requests never end. The animals are always delayed. There are vaccination and vet fees that must be paid before the pig can board the plane. There are fees associated with the travel. It goes on and on.

Scammers take advantage of emotional investment and sunk cost bias to string victims along, and many people end up losing thousands of dollars before giving up.

As I sat that evening deflated and disappointed, I looked up pet buying scams, something I should have done before ever getting involved in this wackadoo experience. The Humane Society reports that many people are scammed each year trying to purchase puppies or kittens online. Many of the animals arrive sick and “often die of health problems.” In addition, many of these animals are bred outside of the U.S. and sold through brokers or come from puppy mills with harsh, inhumane conditions.

Signs of a pet buying scam include: •

A long-distance seller (check)

•

No phone calls – they prefer to talk via text or email (check)

•

Seller asks for wiring of money through an app like Venmo or Zelle (check)

•

Free pets for sale – they just want you to pay shipping

•

Additional money is requested for fees such as vet bills or airline fees (check)

•

Pets are offered at discounted prices (such as an English bulldog for $250 when they normally sell for $2500

•

Emails or texts contain poor spelling and/or grammar

I felt mortified as I read the lists of red flags. How did I let this happen?

Once I calmed down and took some of the emotion out of the situation (and accepted that I’d been scammed), I was able to identify some factors that made me vulnerable to being duped.

JUNE 2022 - 9 1. I was busy and distracted with the holidays and work while trying to buy the pig.

2. I was highly emotional about this purchase and wanted it to work out.

3. I didn’t research how and where to buy pigs before deciding to do it.

4. I was already invested in the pig (her name was Florie, after all) before sending the money.

5. I didn’t think of myself as someone who could be scammed.

If I’d taken the time to think about buying a pig for more than a few hours, I could have done the proper research to find out how and where to do this properly. If I had taken my time, I could have let the emotional impact of wanting a pig to wane a bit and been able to see those red flags more clearly.

And if I’d researched pet scams before jumping into an online, cross-country purchase, I would have seen this scam is common and preventable.

Now, six months later, I think about the Great Pig Scam of 2021 with regret but also as a lesson learned. I learned to slow down. I learned to pay attention, buy local and do my research. I lost $750, yes. But I gained a whole lot of perspective and insight, which isn’t a bad trade off. I think of all this while I sit in the grass and watch my new pigs eat clover, rooting in the grass and squealing as they chase each other across the yard. Not long after Florie turned out to be a ghost, Penny and Priss showed up at the Tractor Supply right here in Vass, and my dream of owning a pig (two) became a reality. They are cuter, sweeter and naughtier than I could have imagined. They bring me more joy than I’d hoped, and all of the dirt, chewing of cords and eaten shoelaces are worth it. They run amuck all over the North Carolina land, their happy tails waving side to side as they beg for potato chips and wallow in mud.

Incidentally, I heard from the scammer again in February, two months after their radio silence. They texted: First of all how are you doing? And we are sorry. You were right. The shippers were a fraud and they tried to steal the piglet a second time. Everything unraveled for them this time around. We sincerely apologize.

So glad to hear everything unraveled for them this time around!

JUNE 2022 - 10

PIGS ARE VERY SMART. Their intelligence has been estimated to be that of a 4 year old human. That’s smarter than domestic dogs and cats!

PIGS ARE MUCH FASTER THAN YOU THINK. Pigs can run up to 11 mph and are known to be great escape artists!

MINI PIGS ARE A LIFETIME COMMITMENT. Healthy pigs can live 20+ years.

Mini pigs are not fully grown until they’re 3-5 years old.

SQUEAL! A pig’s squeal has a higher decibel (louder) than a jet taking off, according to scientists.

SMELL LIKE A PIG? Pigs are actually fairly clean animals.

They don’t sweat, and use water or mud to cool off and protect their skin.

CALLING THE PIGS HOME? Pigs have a sophisticated sense of direction. They can find their way home from huge distances away.

PIGS TALK TO OTHER PIGS. They have their own complex language.

(And no, it isn’t pig Latin!)

JUNE 2022 - 11

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FAITH: DOG YEARS

JUNE 2022 - 12 My dog Gideon is getting old.

Generally speaking, I am one who accepts grief as part of life and the consequence of love, but this will be a hard one when his time comes.

Gideon, who is a German Shepherd, has seen me through so much in his last eight years. I got him as a puppy in 2014 when I struggled because my dad, who had advancing dementia, needed to move to a nursing home for his own safety. We had tried hard and long to keep him home, but the time had come, and I felt in some way I had let my dad down. So, I got a puppy and named him Gideon, from the Bible’s Book of Judges, who feels the Lord asks too much of him. The Biblical warrior Gideon doubts his abilities, but God promises him God will go with him and keep him strong. Back then, in 2014, I too felt God was asking too much of me, so I figured if I named my puppy “Gideon,” every time I called him I would be reminded that we all sometimes feel God asks too much of us, yet God promises to be by our side and see us through, just as God did for Gideon (the warrior).

Their faithfulness is beyond measure; their love so unconditional sometimes it makes me feel unworthy; their silence and lack of judgement when we’ve messed up; their utter happiness just to have us in their lives. I kind of see it that way with God – who is faithful beyond measure; whose love is so unconditional; who just listens when we are remorseful; who never complains and just wants us close, just like our pets.

Gideon, while only eight, has developed the bad hip and bone stuff that is typical to his breed. Medication is helping him right now to get up and down the stairs; he loves his big ball in the yard which he still chases around; and still plays with his little brother, Henry, the Boston Terrier. But the medicine’s help is beginning to wane and somedays it’s hard for him to get up and his limp is more noticeable.

We will have to part ways at some point, perhaps sooner than I hoped. But Gideon has taught me so much about the nature of God, and I know the day that difficult decision comes, God will be with me in the vet’s office, and as I leave without my boy, God’s arm will be on my shoulders and I will hear God’s whisper, “I am here, I will hold you.” Faithful, as always.

Since then, Gideon (the dog) has seen me through my dad’s death, a divorce, a health crisis, the death of two other family members, becoming an empty nester, a move across the country, the pandemic and a million other daily struggles … like what to do with the cats who have thrown up on his bed, again.

Gideon has been my constant companion through it all, and by the way, never complained for a minute.

Which makes me think about why it is that pets make us feel so close to the Divine.

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GRAY MATTER GAMES

46. Extract 51. Carve in stone 1. Semester’s last 52. “A jealous exams mistress”: Emerson 7. Right 53. Run down 13. Not using liquid 55. Clod chopper 15. Small particle 16. Government income 56. House salesperson (3 wds) (2 words) 59. Drift 18. Abbr. after former 60. Implement colonel’s name 61. Bad looks 19. Expire 62. The Rolling ___, 20. “Dear old” guy band 21. Film crew member 23. Bursting at the ___ DOWN 24. Angler’s hope 1. A legitimate object 25. Embryonic sacs for ridicule (2 wds) 27. Diminished 2. Heart, mind or soul 28. Having an unusual (2 wds) power to attract 3. Openwork fabrics 34. “Star Trek” rank: 4. “___ we having fun Abbr. yet?”

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JUNE 2022 - 13

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