OutreachNC September 2018

COMPLIMENTARY

SEPTEMBER 2018 | VOL. 9, ISSUE 9

CONNECTING THE

Generations Serving the Sandhills & Southern Piedmont

OutreachNC.com 1 | O USEPTEMBER T R E A C H2018 N C |. C OM

Emmy Award winner

SALLY STRUTHERS (All in the Family, Gilmore Girls)

Broadway, Film & TV favorite

JOYCE REEHLING (Law & Order, Fifth of July)

an intimate collection of stories

by Nora Ephron & Delia Ephron based on the book by Ilene Beckerman

Oct. 18-21 ONLY!

Hannah Center Theatre atThe O’Neal School Tickets + Info: JudsonTheatre.com

2

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Season Seven Sponsors

To register, contact:

910.692.0683

info@aosnc.com

FREE SEMINAR DRIVING SAFETY FOR ADULTS 65+ safety tips & warning signs for older drivers

Visit with our panel of experts & driving solutions providers in an open discussion focused on driving safety.

Jason Bergin, Agency Manager

Beth Mataxis

NC Farm Bureau Mutual Insurance

CarFit CertiďŹ ed Occupational Therapist

Angela Boles, Aging Life Care Professional

Taeh Ward, Ph.D.

AOS Care Management

Pinehurst Neuropsychology

Tuesday, Sept. 25 | 4:00 p.m.

Seven Lakes Chapel in the Pines 581 Seven Lakes Drive | WEST END Doors Open at 3:00 p.m. for Registration & Light Refreshments

a

tC

an

He

Wh

lp?

proudly sponsored by:

o W E Do T

Seven Lakes Chapel in the Pines SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 3

features SEPTEMBER 2018

Generations Issue

26

42

Birding in NC: Jordan Lake

Photo Essay by Mollie Tobias

In Pictures: Hawaii

by Ray Linville

32

Sunni Sky’s Ice Cream

Lessons from Our Grandparents

by Spencer Griffith

38

The People’s Pharmacy: 42 Years & Counting

Carolina Conversations with State Library of NC Genealogy Reference Librarian Kay Tillotson

by Corbie Hill

4

48

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

54

by Art Menius

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 5

departments September 2018

“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

—SIR ISAAC NEWTON

16

21

advice & health

10 Ask the Expert

by Kate Pomplun, LMSW, CMC

20

life

16 Cooking Local

62 Grey Matter Games

by Ray Linville

Sudoku, Word Search & Crossword Puzzles

12 The Triumphant Elder

20 The Reader’s Nook

14 Role Reversal

21 Regional Culture

65 Over My Shoulder

18 Home Staging

24 Genealogy

66 Generations

by Tim Keim, EYT500, Yoga Therapist

by David Hibbard

by Michelle Goetzl

by Kasia McDaniel

22 Brain Health

64 In Verse

by Ann Robson

by Ray Linville

by Corbie Hill & Michelle Goetzl

by Ashley Eder

47 Resource Marketplace

by Taeh A. Ward, PhD

Find the resources you need.

63 Aging Thoughtfuly

by Dr. Mardy Grothe

Don’t miss out on getting your monthly copy of

Have it delivered right to you!

OutreachNC.com info@outreachnc.com 910-692-9609

Subscribe today!

Receive 12 issues for only $26.99!

or mail a check to: PO BOX 2478 6 OutreachNC.com Southern Pines, NC| SEPTEMBER 28388 2018

Distributed within

Cumberland, Harnett, Hoke, Lee, Montgomery, Moore, Richmond, Robeson and Scotland Counties.

FrontOffice@WellenerDental.com

BrickCapitalVideo.com 919.356.1624 Terry@BrickCapitalVideo.com

ears to Creating Memories for Y

Come

aming Available

Any Occasion, Live Stre

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 7

from the editor

Can I confess something to you?

I’m not all that curious about my ancestors.

To be clear, I am interested in the past. I’ve read more than my share of popular history books and I am fascinated to no end by exploring different perspectives on the same event, historical figure or time period. It’s just that actually tracking down where my ancestors lived and what likely minor parts they played doesn’t capture my imagination.

Or it could be that I’m running up against my own misconceptions about genealogy.

“For a long time we thought genealogy was the hobby of elderly gentlemen who were trying to prove their heraldry,” State Library of North Carolina Genealogical Research Librarian Kay Tillotson told me during our Carolina Conversations interview for this issue (see page 38). “A recent article from the University of California states that the average age of a genealogist has gone down significantly. They’re about 40 years old.”

My own conception of genealogy revolves around my maternal grandfather, who filled the stereotypical role Tillotson describes.

Yes, my family has been in North Carolina since Colonial days, but I didn’t identify with any of the stories Papa unearthed: I wasn’t proud that my ancestors fought Native Americans or marched for the Confederacy. None of that resonated. Hell, it was embarrassing.

I’m starting to at least understand genealogy’s appeal, though. My colleague Ashley Eder, for one, draws genuine satisfaction and enjoyment from her own genealogical research. Someday she will pass her work on to her weeks-old son, who will write his own chapter (see page 24). The way she approaches it, genealogy is more than just a meandering stream of begats. It’s a vibrant, inclusive process. And Tillotson, too, helped shape my burgeoning understanding of its appeal. During our interview, she spoke with incredible passion about the habit-forming detective work of discovering your own ancestry.

So while I’m no more curious about my ancestors than I was before, I do want my two children to know my stories. In fact, that’s one reason I’m a professional writer. Joke’s on me, then, as I’m creating documents right now that they and their descendants may someday use in discovering exactly who their ancestors were. That’s a surprisingly comforting thought.

Thank you for picking up OutreachNC, and I’ll see you in October.

- Corbie Hill

8

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Editor-in-Chief Corbie Hill | Editor@OutreachNC.com Creative Director Kim Gilley | The Village Printers Creative & Graphic Designer Sarah McElroy | The Village Printers

Monthly Musings from the Meowing Maestro

Ad Designers Stephanie Budd, Cyndi Fifield, Sarah McElroy Proofreader Kate Pomplun Photography Brady Beck, Diana Matthews, Caitlin Penna, Mollie Tobias Contributors Ashley Eder, Michelle Goetzl, Spencer Griffith, Mardy Grothe, David Hibbard, Corbie Hill, Tim Keim, Ray Linville, Kasia McDaniel, Art Menius, Kate Pomplun, Ann Robson, Taeh Ward

Enraged, Jeeves pushes away his improperly layered parfait.

“I said fruit on the bottom!”

Spiritual Advisor Jeeves

Y Publisher Amy Natt | AmyN@AgingOutreachServices.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie | SusanM@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Courtney Bunker | CourtneyB@OutreachNC.com 910-692-0683 ext. 141 Circulation 910-692-0683 | info@OutreachNC.com

“All that the light touches, that is my kingdom.”

OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com

www.OutreachNC.com

OutreachNC is a publication of The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited.

OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

“This is my best human impression.

Am I doing it right?”

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 9

advice

Our Aging Life Care ProfessionalsTM will answer any aging questions you may have.

Email us your questions! info@OutreachNC.com

ASK THE EXPERT

Grandchildren and Dementia

by Kate Pomplun, LMSW, CMC As my wife’s dementia progresses, our grandchildren are having a difficult time connecting with her. I’m afraid they may not visit with us as often or invite us to their events because of her condition. How can I help to continue to foster the relationship?

With a diagnosis of dementia there are many changes in a person’s ability to communicate and participate in social situations. This can be difficult for adults to understand and cope with, let alone children. What a wonderful caregiver you are to understand that these relationships are important to your wife, even if she has trouble remembering.

Your grandchildren may have noticed Grandma doesn’t call on the phone like she used to, or is no longer able to drive them to go out for ice cream. Last time they visited, maybe she didn’t seem to recognize them or acted uninterested in their stories. It’s possible she asked them the same question over and over and couldn’t remember their response. Maybe you’ve had to decline an invitation to your granddaughter’s loud, busy basketball game because your wife wouldn’t be able to tolerate such an event.

These incidents can be hurtful and confusing to children if not explained.

First of all, engage your children and grandchildren in a conversation about Mom/ Grandma’s disease and what it involves. You don’t need to get too scientific, but helping them to understand that Grandma’s brain is sick will allow them to know she’s not being mean or rude. Sometimes a picture showing the changes in the brain can be helpful (you can find them on the Alzheimer’s Association website’s brain tour https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/ what-is-alzheimers/brain_tour_part_2) It’s also important for young children to know that they cannot catch dementia/Alzheimer’s (or the brain’s “sickness”) by being around someone like Grandma. In fact, being around loved ones can actually help caregivers like Grandpa as well as make Grandma’s days more enjoyable.

We keep the lights on....

Premier Power Generation

940 S. Bennett St | SOUTHERN PINES 10 910-725-1141 OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Having a discussion of what the grandkids can still do with Grandma will be very helpful.

Each situation is different, but here are a few ideas: (find more on alz.org in the kids/teens section) • Read a book aloud together • Listen to music – especially Grandma’s favorite kind (hymns, jazz, rock and roll?)

• Go for a walk

We make the active ingredient Tadalafil in troches for a fraction of the cost!

Requires a prescription from a prescriber.

• Look at photo albums • Maybe she can attend the quiet piano recital, or an open house of the kid’s artwork at school, but not the chaotic basketball game.

• Have an ice cream social at home instead of Grandma taking them out.

There are a number of books geared for children to help understand when a loved one has dementia. Some popular titles include Why Did Grandma put her Underwear in the Refrigerator, Remember Me Remember Me Not and Harry Helps Grandpa Remember.

Chances are, by involving them you will see moments of joy from both your wife and your grandchildren.

Kate Pomplun is the owner of Aging Care Solutions in Southern Pines and a contract care manager for Aging Outreach Services.

She may be reached at kate@agingcaresolutionsnc.com.

Mon-Fri: 8:30a-6p Sat: 8:30a-12p 120 MacDougall Dr Seven Lakes (910) 673-7467 w w w. 7 L a k e s R X . c o m

Widowed? Single Again?

Take back your life.

Your Single Source for Events in "The Pines"

When you let us organize the paperwork and set up an easy system for you to monitor, you get more time to enjoy your life and family.

We will become your trusted Daily Money Manager relieving the stress of your day-to-day finances from your already hectic life.

Daily Money Management Solutions Personal Financial Management | Bill Paying Services EDCNB - Makes Your Life...Easier!

Checks & Balances

Providing Peace of Mind and the Gift of Time

910-683-0330 APSeline@EDCNB.com www.EveryDayChecksAndBalances.com

LOG ONTO

www.ThePinesTimes.com Contact Sue@ThePinesTimes.com or call 910 639 9909

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 11

healthCan You Change Your Brain?

THE TRIUMPHANT ELDER

by Tim Keim, EYT500, Yoga Therapist

Dr. Sara Lazar of Harvard University has proven that you can.

Lazar has spent over a decade using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to examine the brains of those who have been able to increase brain gray matter and maintain these gains with age. Generally gray matter, the part that does the thinking, shrinks with age. Lazar’s work demonstrates that those 50 and above are able to maintain the same amount of gray matter as youngsters half their age.

Lazar’s studies repeatedly show growth of gray matter in crucial parts of the brains of her subjects. These include the prefrontal cortex, parietal lobes, insula, posterior cingulate, hippocampus and cerebellum. Because of their regular practices, Lazar’s subjects not only grew their brains but shrank one important part as well. The amygdala is involved in our response to stressors like fear, anxiety and aggression. The implication of a smaller amygdala is that these subjects are better suited to handle stress and suffer less emotional disturbance and aggressive behavior. (See Lazar’s TEDx Talk on YouTube.)

Briefly, the prefrontal cortex is in charge of executive decision making and IQ, the hippocampus regulates learning and memory and the parietal lobes are the home of empathy. Tangible benefits of increased gray matter are more acute cognitive function, better memory and a more cheerful disposition. Her participants also outperformed control subjects on Graduate Record Examinations (GRE).

What are these people doing to initiate neuroplastic responses in the brain? Lazar’s subjects practiced yoga and meditation to build better brains in just eight weeks. If you’re doubtful, you might be surprised to find that Lazar beat you to the

eye-rolling disbelief stage a long time ago. When she began to experience these brain changes herself, Lazar had to get to the bottom of the question.

Now that we know what happens to the brain, we want to know why. That is not altogether certain, but here are a few tantalizing possibilities. Deep, conscious relaxation may have an effect on the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which are produced not only in the brain but the gut as well. Regular, sustained, focused attention seems to change the way neurons communicate with each other. Meditation is also well known as a great stress reliever.

Simply relieving stress seems to set the stage for this cascade of beneficial gray matter increases.

Meditation is being still, focusing on your breath, perhaps using a mantra (mind tool) and suspending judgment as you synchronize mind and breath.

Jesus gives a good example of meditation and its benefits. “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:22.

Join a group, read some books about meditation or contact me directly. Most importantly, create your own meditation practice and rebuild your brain. Successful brain aging is a technique that can be mastered by anyone. What will you do with your fantastic, neuroplastic brain?

Tim Keim is an IAYT certified yoga therapist, and has been teaching yoga for 15 years. Keim can be heard Saturday and Sunday mornings from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. on 91.5-FM, WUNC. He can be reached at timkeim811@yahoo.com.

Join the Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina at Sandhills for Chef’s Feast, a food and wine tasting event showcasing chefs from the Pine Needles Resort and local restaurants. Our presenting partner Food Lion will provide a variety of wine tastings to coordinate with the dishes.

CHEF'S FEAST SANDHILLS 12

Tuesday, October 16, 2018 5:30pm – 8pm Pine Needles Resort

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Tickets are $60 each through September 30, and $75 October 1 until the event. Purchase tickets at the Food Bank, 195 Sandy Avenue, Southern Pines, or online at chefsfeastnc.org.

a

an

He l p?

Wh

tC

o W E Do T

A welcoming place for individuals with Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, brain disorders and mild cognitive impairment and their family member or friend.

Meets Every 4th Wednesday 2:30-4 P.M. Drop-in

Our next meeting is:

155 Hall Ave. Southern Pines

Questions?

September 26 910.585.6757 info@aosfcare.org

th

OutreachNC.com AOSFCare.org SEPTEMBER 2018 |

13

advice

ROLE REVERSAL

Sharing Spaces

by David Hibbard Sharing space with your parents again after years of being on If your help with house cleaning, yardwork or other chores your own can be challenging, but also quite rewarding! When takes a burden off your parents, I believe it’s your obligation my job brought me back to live in the same house with my to do so, especially if you are moving back into their home mother ten years ago, I would never have believed I’d still be with them. In whatever form it takes, I believe doing what here today. But life has a funny way of working out, and the you can at home to make your parents’ lives easier is part of arrangement has worked quite well for both of us, I’d like to the deal if you are living with them again as an adult child. think.

4) Agree to disagree: If life teaches us anything, it’s that human Whether your arrangement is temporary or permanent, and regardless of the circumstances, there are several keys to making it work. It’s my opinion that the mindset of both parent and child is crucial to cohabitating in harmony, but as the adult child, it is especially important to do these things: 1) Embrace the opportunity: The reasons adult children move back in with their parents are various and numerous. In some cases, like mine, it happens because of a positive development, such as a job opportunity in the area where your parents live.

Other times, challenges faced by parents such as caring for themselves necessitate the return of grown children to the nest.

In any case, approach the situation in a positive light. Be grateful for the shared time you will have together again.

Time is a finite commodity, and we never know how much of it we have left. So use whatever time you will have living together again – ten months, ten years or more – to reconnect and make some more memories together.

2) Don’t take complete charge: Even if you are living with your parent because their health is failing or they need help in other ways, don’t expect to dominate every aspect of their life.

Figure out what your parent’s capabilities are in certain areas – paying the bills, household chores, etc.—and let them be in charge of anything they are able.

If your parent is like my mother – still sharp mentally and physically – then stay out of the way and let them do their thing! Remember, they had this living-on-your-own thing down long before you did, so if what they’re doing still works, don’t mess it up.

3) DO offer to help where you can: If you identify areas where you can help, and your parents agree, then by all means pitch in. And your help can take many different forms, whether it’s financial, emotional support or physical help around the house.

14

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

beings aren’t always going to see eye-to-eye on everything.

With parents and children you could say those disagreements get taken to another level every now and then!

This time around, you’re an adult too. Handle disagreements with your mom or dad like an adult. Try to see their point of view, and don’t be disagreeable as you present yours. There’s always give-and-take in any relationship; at least with your parents, you should already have some idea of what makes them tick, how they think, and how you can best work together to solve any disagreements that arise.

5) Give in and live under (a few) childhood rules again: Wait, you’re saying, I’m 40- or 50-something and I’m supposed to have a curfew again? Well, not exactly. But I do believe you should extend common courtesy to your parents on certain things if you’re living together again. Give them an idea of where you’re going and when you’ll be home. Make your bed on occasion (I confess to being terrible at this one). As I’ve written before in this space, you never stop being their child, and they never stop being your parent. Don’t fight that reality, but respect it instead.

Throughout your time together, you and your parents may face unique challenges. But if you can embrace the chance to share this time together later in life, you’ll be able to overcome those. And you’ll be amazed at the laughs and good times that will be part of the deal, too!

Share your role reversal stories with contributing writer David Hibbard.

Email him at: hib1967@gmail.com

Before Autumn leaves fall...

Open Arms

Retirement Center

Give Us a Call!

Baker Lawn Care

910.875.2385 or 910.308.4412 COMMERCIAL • RESIDENTIAL • LANDSCAPING • LOT BLOWING

“Making a Difference in the Lives of Others”

FREE

hearing consultations Friendly Service Repair Services

Assisted Living | Memory Care Music & Memory Certified

Let us help you in making a decision about the care you are seeking.

612 Health Drive | Raeford | 910-875-3949

Kate Tuomala Belinda Bryant Madison Murphey Dianna Clawges Amey Womack

1902-K N. Sandhills Blvd., Hwy. 1 Aberdeen, NC 28315

SandhillsHearing.com

910.692.6422

2018

Helping seniors

2018-2019

stay healthy and active at home.

Today’s seniors want to remain in their homes. In order to do that they might just need a little help around the house. Right at Home provides: Assistance with activities of daily living Transitional care after hospitalization Free in-home nurse assessment Dedicated and compassionate caregivers

Sept. 19.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

S a n d h i l l s ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

910.684.6400 115 E.Pennsylvania Ave Southern Pines, NC wake-rah.com

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 15

life

COOKING LOCAL

Danny Hayes’ Seafood Chowder

by Ray Linville | Photography by Diana Matthews

“Seafood has always been my favorite food,” says chef Danny Hayes, a restaurateur now for almost nine years. “It’s my first love that goes all the way back to when I worked as a kid in Hamlet selling fish off the back of a truck.”

Seafood chowder is a popular year-round dish at his restaurant The House of Fish in Aberdeen. “I always use fresh catfish, shrimp and lump crab meat. During the year, I occasionally add other seafood, such as cod, clams and mussels, depending on what’s available,” he says.

“I love making it for The Chefs’ Feast,” the annual fundraiser for the Sandhills Branch of the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina, “and was honored when I was invited to participate,” Hayes says.

He again is a participating chef at the event that will be held this year on Oct. 16. “The Food Bank and its mission are very important to me. We shouldn’t have hungry people in our area,” Hayes says.

“Danny’s chowder was a hit last year,” says Michael Cotten, director of the Sandhills Branch. “Many people will be drawn to the event because they remember it being a favorite from

last year. Having a great seafood dish is always an attractive draw for a food event.”

Hayes claims that his chowder, in addition to being tasty, has magical properties. For example, a friend who was about seven months pregnant hadn’t felt her baby move. However, she felt the baby immediately after taking a few bites of his chowder. (Hayes has even more stories about the chowder and his customers.)

After making the chowder, Hayes likes to let it sit for a day before serving to enhance the flavors. Although he usually prepares 30 servings when he makes the chowder at his restaurant, Hayes has pared down the ingredient quantities for OutreachNC readers. Plus a special insight: Hayes doesn’t measure or use a recipe when he makes chowder (or any dish). “It’s all by feel,” he says. After you’ve made his chowder the first time, see if you can follow his example and make it using only your senses.

Ray Linville, a regular contributing writer of OutreachNC, has a love for Southern foods with a fresh twist.

Ingredients - Makes 8-10 servings • 6-8 large Yukon Gold potatoes, washed and cut into bite-size pieces

• 3 teaspoons water • 6-8 catfish fillets (5-ounce each) with no skin

• 1 whole stalk of celery, sliced into small pieces

• ½ pound lump crab meat

• 2 tablespoons bacon drippings

• 2 pounds large shrimp, peeled and deveined

• ½ sweet onion, diced

• 1 (15-ounce) can whole kernel corn

• ½ stick butter

• 2 splashes white wine

• 5 cups whole milk

• Pinch Old Bay Seasoning to taste

• 3 teaspoons corn starch

• Pinch salt to taste

Danny Hayes is owner and chef of The House of Fish in Aberdeen. He will be featured at The Chefs’ Feast, the fundraiser of Sandhills Food Bank Branch at Pine Needles Resort on Oct. 16, when he will serve his popular seafood chowder.

16

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Directions 1. In large pan, sautĂŠ cut potatoes and celery in bacon drippings (olive oil can be substituted for bacon drippings) and let vegetables cook down for about 5 minutes.

2. Add onions and continue to sautĂŠ vegetables for 5 more minutes until onions are translucent.

3. Add butter to vegetables in pan.

4. In separate pot to start broth, simmer milk for 5 minutes.

5. While milk is simmering, mix corn starch with water and pour into simmering milk to thicken broth and stir until thickened.

6. Pour vegetable mix into broth in pot.

7. Add fresh seafood (catfish first; then shrimp and lump crab meat 3-4 minutes later) to pot and simmer over low heat for 10 minutes or until seafood is tender. Stir continually with whisk to avoid any seafood sticking to pot.

8. Add a splash of white wine, take a sip yourself, and then add another splash.

9. Add Old Bay Seasoning and salt as desired for taste.

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 17

advice

H O M E S TA G I N G

Charm Buyers into Buying Your Old House

by Kasia McDaniel

Old houses have all sorts of stories to tell. Some have charming woodwork details, while others have decorative windows or wraparound porches. But what if your “old home” is on the real estate market and doesn’t have these charming items to entice buyers? You have to consider making some changes to your home because it is in competition with new construction builds that buyers seem to drool over.

LANDSCAPE Most new builds tend to be built on old farmland that doesn’t have much for landscaping. I have nothing against new homes, but they don’t offer the well-established trees and landscaping that you can find around an older home.

Make sure your landscaping is in tiptop shape and consider lifting the tree canopy a bit if it is blocking the view of the home. Old magnolia trees entice kids to climb, so use that curb appeal to your advantage.

INTERIOR COLORS Most older homes tend to have the same pale yellow wall colors. The only colors that work well with yellow are red, green and blue. If you update the wall color to a more neutral color like beige or gray, you can work with all sorts of colors with furnishings and artwork. You never know what color furniture the new owners will have, so help them envision the space with a neutral background. As soon as buyers start thinking they have a project on their hands to repaint the house, their offer will be less than what you expect.

If you have wood paneling in your home, consider painting it versus replacing it with drywall. A coat of creamy beige like Kilim Beige by Sherwin Williams will instantly brighten up the room and cost significantly less than installing drywall, mudding it and painting it.

One older home I recently staged had a yellow kitchen. They painted their brown cabinets in white and were about to change their yellow Corian countertops to black tile. I highly advised against changing the countertops for two reasons:

18

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

1. Any kind of tile on the countertops would automatically be removed as soon as the check clears to buy the house and therefore the owners spent money on something that buyers would not want anyway.

2. Yellow and white is a great color combination in the kitchen. The owners had the option of providing a “countertop allowance” for the buyers if needed, but the yellow countertops were still in good shape – that is, one could live with them.

By the way, this same home with the yellow and white kitchen had two offers eight hours after it had been staged!

UNIQUE ROOMS OR SPACES Wood beams can be charming if done correctly. A nice onestory home had a large living room with raised ceilings and wood beams. The sellers played up the charm of the wood beams by painting them brown and leaving the ceiling a crisp white color. This showed off the wood beams nicely, which is not something you will see in a newly built home.

Another character piece to show off in your older home is a window nook or an office/playroom in a nontraditional spot.

If you have a window seat, add some colorful pillows and a cozy blanket to create a nice reading spot. In another home I staged, there was a cool little staircase that led up above the kitchen to a loft area. It would have been a great place for the kids to hang out and play while the parents chatted in the living room below.

Embrace the character your older home provides and use it to help sway buyers. Not everyone wants the “cookie cutter” look, but you may need to make a few changes to your landscape, interior colors and unique rooms to show off your home and entice its next owner.

Kasia McDaniel, a Home Stager and Certified Interior Decorator at Blue Diamond Staging can be reached at 910-745-0608 or by visiting www.bluediamondstaging.com

All Fruits and Vegetables Available!

Tomatoes, Green Beans, Fruits, Veggies, Jams, Meats, Flowers & Plants, Crafts, Chicken, Eggs, Beef, Pork, Ostrich Meat, Baked Goods, Prepared Foods, Goat Cheese, Watermelons, Peaches, Blueberries, Cantaloupe, Egg Plant and Micro Greens FirstHealth

(Fitness Center)

170 Memorial Drive | Pinehurst 2 pm - 5:30 pm Open through 10/29

Downtown Southern Pines Broad Street & New York Avenue 8 am - 12 Noon Open through 10/27

Armory Sports Complex 604 W. Morganton | So. Pines 9 am - 1 pm Open Year Round

www.moorecountyfarmersmarket.com

165 Shepherd Trail, Aberdeen | www.SandhillsAdultDay.com

Everyday Enrichment for Older Adults

“I’m SO glad a friend encouraged me to visit THE RETREAT. Their welcoming environment was just what my husband needed - new friends, professional & friendly staff, plus engaging activities.”

Schedule a Visit TODAY! 910.722.1035 SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 19

life

THE READER’S NOOK

Daughter of a Daughter of a Queen by Sarah Bird Book Review by Michelle Goetzl

“My real life, the one I was meant to have, did not start until an August night in 1864, three years into the war, when I watched the only world I’d ever known burn to the ground and met the man who was to be my deliverance and my damnation, the Yankee general Philip Henry Sheridan.”

This is where Sarah Bird’s new novel Daughter of a Daughter of a Queen begins. The book is loosely based on the life of Cathay Williams, a woman who pretended to be a man and joined the first African-American army unit after the Civil War. Though a work of fiction, Bird’s book presents a fascinating look at what life might have been like for her.

Daughter of a Daughter of a Queen begins while Cathy (as her name is spelled in the book) is mistaken for a boy and taken as “contraband” to assist Sheridan’s cook as the Union army continues to battle the rebels.

While on the wagon to the camp, she meets a wounded black soldier and falls hopelessly in love with him – just before he dies and is tossed off the truck. Cathy is already a bit of a spitfire, and initially struggles to find her place. She grows more and more knowledgeable during her time in the camp and through her unexpected friendship with the camp cook, Solomon.

When the war ends, those considered contraband are at loose ends. They don’t want to go back to the South where they are still unwelcome, and they don’t necessarily want to go north where not all Yankees care about freeing slaves.

Cathy and many of the men are enticed by a young black general to enlist in the army. During the war, many women fought beside men, but a peacetime army is a different story.

Still, Cathy feels that it is her only choice.

20

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Cathy manages to get placed in the cavalry after a “necessary parlay” with Vickers, a bully of a soldier who would turn out to be her arch-nemesis. Life as a Buffalo Soldier is much harder than Cathy could have ever imagined. There is infighting among the soldiers, the domineering Vickers tries to manipulate his way to the top and life in the close quarters of the barracks is something Cathy didn’t consider. Keeping her secret while not casting herself as an outsider or divisive soldier becomes her first priority.

When the black troops move west, they face white commanders who want nothing to do with them. The job of the Buffalo Soldiers was to root out the Indians so America could take over their land. Cathy and a few other soldiers soon realize that they have more in common with the Indians than the white Americans who hated them.

Crafted from the little-known life of African-American woman Cathay Williams, who served in the US Army during the Civil War as Private William Cathay, this incredibly wellresearched novel weaves fact and fiction together to create a very readable tale about a part of America’s history that is often forgotten. Lovers of historical fiction, especially those surrounding the Civil War and American West, will enjoy this stunning new book.

Michelle Goetzl writes an online blog—“Books My Kids Read.” She loves books and sharing that love of reading with children. She can be reached at booksmykidsread@gmail.com .

life

R E G I O N A L C U LT U R E

Dog Days of September?

by Ray Linville | Artwork by Sarah McElroy What has happened to our calendar?

Remember when the “dog days” of a hot, oppressive summer ended in August? Then the Labor Day weekend was a signal that the heat of summer was subsiding, and we could look forward to the arrival of a cooler, balmy season.

It seems like the hot days of August no longer end but now simply extend into September. The weather is perfect for more outdoor swimming, although most pools close for the season because their lifeguards go back to school.

Did you ever fry an egg on a sidewalk to prove how hot it was?

This year forget that experiment, because our heat now would fry an egg inside a chicken. The last time I saw a heat wave in September I didn’t want to wave back.

The dog days mean to us what they meant to the ancient Greeks and Romans. As kids, we learned that dog days were so brutally hot that our pets would lie around languishing in the heat with no energy. But the days were actually named for when Sirius, the Dog Star, became visible again at sunrise in the sky. This time coincided with extreme heat that brought drought, discomfort and disease, and the rising star alerted the ancients to beware.

I now treat September as another summer month. Stay tuned to see if a temperature this month breaks a record. The hottest temperature in North Carolina occurred in August 1983 when the high reached 110 degrees in Fayetteville. Don’t be surprised to see hot temperatures linger longer this month and make the news.

Even the water temperature on the North Carolina coast is in the news. At Wrightsville Beach, where the high hadn’t before surpassed 84 degrees, the water was an astounding 89 degrees a few weeks ago. I usually enjoy our coast more after Labor

Day than before because the crowds have left, the kids are back in school and a quiet walk on the beach in cooler temperatures is far more enjoyable than during the dog days. But are the dog days now still with us? It’s a sure sign of dog days if the beach chair gets up when you do.

Although Henry David Thoreau wrote, “One must maintain a little bit of summer, even in the middle of winter,” I’m completely ready to let summer leave by the end of August. Bring on cooler temperatures, and let’s also hope that the leaves change colors soon.

Do you remember when school started in September (unlike last month for the students of today)? Because the temperatures had subsided enough from summer highs, we didn’t mind conforming to a dress code at school that prohibited shorts and other summer clothes. Yes, that’s very old fashioned. Boys wore long pants and girls came to school in dresses (not pants in those days). Imagine if the school kids of today had to comply with the dress code of our generation.

However, if you think the dog days are still here in September, get ready for a surprise. Although the world has been getting warmer during the last 100 years, North Carolina (and southeast China) has been a major exception. Our average annual temperature between 1901 and 2000 has stayed about the same.

What should we do if we think the dog days have extended into September? Enjoy air conditioning and drink iced tea.

Ray Linville writes about local connections to Southern food, history and culture. He can be reached at linville910@gmail.com.

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 21

health

B R A I N H E A LT H

Family History of Alzheimer’s Disease: Should you be tested?

by Taeh A. Ward, Ph.D.

Alzheimer’s disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia in older individuals. While the greatest risk for developing AD is advancing age itself, about 40 percent of patients with AD also have at least one first-degree relative with AD (i.e. parent, sibling, child). However, a family history of AD does not necessarily mean that you will develop AD. GENETIC TESTING

A well-known genetic marker for Alzheimer’s disease is the ε4 allele of apolipoprotein E (APOE-4). Having a copy of this allele from each parent results in approximately 30-55 percent risk of developing mild cognitive impairment or dementia due to AD by age 85. While rare genetic variants can cause 95-100 percent likelihood of developing early onset familial AD (e.g. APP, PSEN1, PSEN2), the majority of patients have much lower risk and generally develop AD due to a combination of genetics, environment and lifestyle (e.g. cardiovascular disease).

NEUROIMAGING AND BIOMARKERS

While Alzheimer’s disease can cause changes in the brain detectible by standard neuroimaging, this is often observed after the disease has progressed. Other neuroimaging such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and positron emission tomography (PET) can detect AD-associated changes even before significant cognitive symptoms but are not 100 percent accurate in diagnosing AD. Testing of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) may reveal biomarkers of AD including amyloid beta protein, tau protein and phospho-tau expression levels. While biomarkers may have high diagnostic accuracy in patients who already have some cognitive impairment, they are less accurate for those with low risk for developing AD. BENEFITS AND DRAWBACKS OF MEDICAL TESTING FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE

When a treatment for AD is found, research indicates that early treatment may be more effective. Therefore it is important to develop tests that can detect AD before patients 22

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

have cognitive symptoms. However, until a cure or highly effective treatment becomes available, genetic and other early medical testing have both benefits and drawbacks.

For individuals at high risk for AD, earlier diagnosis through medical testing allows for planning (e.g. advanced directive, setting up support systems and coping strategies) to ensure the best care and quality of life in the future.

However, being diagnosed with AD through medical testing before you have cognitive difficulties can negatively impact sense of self, evoke anxiety and could have legal or other implications (e.g. driving, ability to own a gun, employment, insurance).

OTHER TESTING

Having better knowledge about your risk factors for AD and other causes of dementia may help identify lifestyle changes which lower the risk of dementia or slow down onset (e.g. certain foods and cardiovascular exercise help protect the brain). Neuropsychological testing for those who have cognitive difficulties may identify curable causes such as vitamin deficiencies or depression, help rule out or diagnosis AD and inform treatment and care planning.

Current medications for AD are intended to temporarily improve memory difficulties or confusion if already prominent and do not stop or cure AD. Cognitive testing can help determine if you may benefit from memoryenhancing medication.

Even individuals at high risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease can demonstrate intact cognitive and functional abilities for years before symptoms start. Until there is a cure or highly effective medication for AD, undergoing early medical testing is a personal choice which should be considered carefully since the results can impact emotions, life choices and other factors.

Dr. Taeh Ward, a clinical neuropsychologist at Pinehurst Neuropsychology, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or by visiting pinehurstneuropsychology.com

Howell Drug

Serving Raeford & Hoke County

SINCE 1947

Your Prescription for Savings!

910-875-3365

311 Teal Drive

RAEFORD

Order Refills Online!

FIVE STAR SENIOR LIVING, AT A VALUE YOU’LL LOVE

HowellDrug.com

Your Full-Service Residential Heating and Air Conditioning Specialists Serving the Sandhills since 1953

910.778.5534

www.OneHourAirCarolinas.com

Personalized Treatment Recommendations that Emphasize Brain Health, Independence and Quality of Life Schedule an appointment

910-420-8041

45 Aviemore Drive | Pinehurst PinehurstNeuropsychology.com

Move in this season and enjoy Five Star Dining and Lifestyle360 activities with friends by your side. Reserve the apartment of your choice, ahead of the winter rush, and fall in love with Fox Hollow Senior Living.

Call to enjoy lunch and a tour.

Buying or Selling, Move Smarter with Rosemary!

Rosemary Weber

(c) 973-214-4675 (o) 910-246-4653 Rosemary@ToweringPinesRealEstate.com 229 West Pennsylvania Ave Southern Pines, NC 28387

190 Fox Hollow Road • Pinehurst, NC 28374

910-695-0011

www.FoxHollowSeniorLiving.com ASSISTED LIVING • MEMORY CARE RESPITE/SHORT-TERM STAYS ©2018 Five Star Senior Living

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

Pet Friendly

OutreachNC.com 23

life

GENEALOGY

What’s in a Name?

by Ashley Eder

Naming the next generation in your family tree can be intimidating and anxiety-inducing for some parents, including my husband and me. Do you pick a random name both parents can agree upon and hope your child grows into it, or do you wait until after the child is born to decide upon what you hope will be the perfect name based on a newborn’s personality and appearance? Do you honor an ancestor in your family tree by passing down a family name or break from tradition and name your child something completely new and original?

book was the inspiration for retaining my maiden name after marriage; However, doing so left us with the conundrum of deciding which surname our child would use. Ultimately, we decided to continue the somewhat non-traditional use of my surname by assigning it as our child’s middle name and using my husband’s surname as his last name. So, having accomplished honoring our ancestors, we compiled a list of potential unique first names, narrowed down the list to our top three favorites and chose “The One” on the day our son was born!

These were the questions my husband and I pondered while creating a suitable list of names for our unborn son.

Having spent a significant amount of time researching and compiling our family trees, we decided to sort through our lineage in hopes of finding inspiration for the perfect name.

We came across several intriguing and undeniably Italian names such as Liborio, Carmelo and Lorenzo. A few others sparked our interest, such as Aloysius, Mathias and Tunis, but none seemed to fit the bill. After encountering many common names in our family trees such as Henry, George, William, John and Joseph and having very common names ourselves, we decided a more unique name was in order. We also knew we wanted to honor our ancestry, but how could we incorporate both ideas into one name?

So what’s really in a name? Apparently, a lot more than you would think when it comes to researching your genealogy, which is why I have created several tips and situations to look out for when exploring your ancestry to help improve the accuracy of your results.

Years ago, I read a book called Man Made Language by Dale Spender, regarding the inherent “maleness” of language and how we classify and organize the world around us. This especially rings true when researching your genealogy, as you will notice how difficult it can be to track down female relatives if you are unaware of their maiden names. This

24

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

1. Decipher Your Ancestor’s Formal Name as well as any Nicknames Many of our ancestors are only known to us by their nicknames, which can make validating your genealogy research much more difficult. Make the effort to research common nicknames given for formal names. That way, you can search for historical records to confirm the validity of that particular ancestor. For example, Great Aunt Peggy may actually be Great Aunt Margaret.

2. Check the Spelling You’ll likely encounter spelling variations of first names and even surnames among census records, passenger lists, correspondence between family members and vital records, especially since there were no hard and fast spelling rules prior to 1828 in the U.S. Don’t

discredit records found too quickly just because they may be spelled differently. Also, be sure to view original documents instead of relying solely on the transcribed information, as the transcriptionist may have misread the name or recorded it incorrectly.

3. Double-Check Different People with the Same Name It is important to make the distinction between different generations with the same name by comparing the dates of the records. Also, sometimes there is a formal pattern of passing down names through different generations, such as the oldest son named after the father with consecutive Roman numerals or using the same first name for all children of the same gender with a different middle name, as is the tradition in some areas of Germany.

4. Find Maiden Names If you have a case of the disappearing female lineage, but have the full name of the groom, approximate date of the marriage and the state or county in which the marriage took place, find the marriage certificate to obtain the maiden name of your ancestor. If you don’t have enough information to search for a marriage certificate you can still search in family church documents for marriage, baptismal and christening records that may contain

the maiden name. Veteran records including pension applications and legal documents such as probate records may also produce your ancestor’s maiden name.

As the last column in this series, it only seemed fitting to close out the topic by discussing the process of choosing the next generation’s name as I begin a completely new chapter in my life with the addition of our firstborn. All of my genealogy research has been done in hopes that one day I can pass down the information I’ve compiled to someone of the next generation who is just as passionate about our family history as I am and who will continue to fill in the gaps and lay the groundwork for future generations to come. The responsibility lies within each family to preserve their own history. Although technology has greatly improved recordkeeping capabilities and the accuracy of names and dates, if we don’t record our own personal stories, then who will?

After all, there is more to our ancestors than just their names.

Ashley Eder developed a passion for genealogy while researching her own family tree and is always happy to discuss and help others delve into the process. Email her at ashleye@agingoutreachservices.com .

Meet Nancy.

In her words, she “lives like a queen” during her well-earned retirement at Scotia Village Retirement Community.

Come Visit our Newly Designed Studio Apartment, Staged by Parker Furniture.

When Nancy’s friends tell her that they aren’t ready to move, she says, “Not ready to be served delicious meals every day in a beautiful dining room? Not ready to have your home cleaned weekly and any maintenance taken care of with a quick phone call? Not ready to make new friends and have a full social calendar of activities and events to choose from?”

Aren’t you ready to live affordably and like a queen at Scotia Village? Call (910) 266-5024.

SCOTIAVILLAGE.ORG | (910) 266-5024 | 2200 ELM AVE., LAURINBURG, NC | A PRESBYTERIAN HOMES, INC. COMMUNITY

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 25

Birding in N.C.

Jordan Lake

by Ray Linville | Photography by Brady Beck

The Best Anglers May Be Our Winged Neighbors Finally, the heat of summer will soon be relenting. As fall approaches, it’s time to be outdoors more and enjoy the cooler temperatures. Where better to go than to Jordan Lake? There you can observe a large variety of significant birds not only this month but also year-round.

This area, which is part of the North Carolina Birding Trail that links educational and historical attractions with communities and businesses across the state, is a known habitat for ospreys, bald eagles, double-crested cormorants and other fishing birds. The overlook adjoining the Visitor Assistance Center in southeastern Chatham County is handicapped accessible, has mounted binoculars and provides an excellent, sweeping view of the lake below.

26

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Osprey Jordan Lake is typical of sites where fish are plentifully available that ospreys choose as habitats.

Ospreys are piscivorous, which means their diet consists almost entirely of fish, and they typically feed on fish four to twelve inches long. Watching them fly slowly over water and hover as they spot fish below is captivating for children as well as adults, but watching them rise in flight from the lake with a fish is even more remarkable.

The osprey is well suited to detect underwater objects from the air and can spot fish when it is more than 100 feet above the lake. When a fish is close enough to the surface, the bird plunges feet first and grasps the prey in its talons. It is such an excellent angler that it catches fish on at least one of every four dives, and some have a success rate as high as 70 percent.

This bird’s body is particularly well adapted to support a fish-eating lifestyle.

Because its dense plumage is oily, the feathers don’t become waterlogged after diving. Its closable nostrils keep water out during dives, and its outer toes are reversible (a feature shared with only one other raptor, the owl), which lets it grasp fish with two toes in front and two behind.

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 27

Bald Eagle In the Jordan Lake area and elsewhere, ospreys are often harassed by bald eagles, which chase and force them to drop their catch. Fish are also the centerpiece of the bald eagle’s diet, which explains why this bird similarly chooses the massive Jordan Lake as home. The lake is considered by human anglers as an excellent place to catch bass, crappie, white perch, striper and catfish. The bald eagle, the emblem bird of our country, would agree.

The eagle builds some of the largest bird nests, which often exceed five feet in diameter. A popular site is a tall pine that extends above the forest canopy and provides good visibility and easy flight access. A powerful flier that likes to soar and glide over long distances, it is active throughout the day, but the best time to observe one is during early morning hours or late in the evening.

Because the lake supports the largest concentration of the bald eagle in the eastern United States, it is often seen soaring over water as it searches for fish or other prey. It sometimes may wade into shallow water where fish are

plentiful. It can also float, and a special sight is observing it “row” over water that is too deep for wading.

28

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Although fish are readily available at the lake, the bald eagle also dines on other birds and small mammals. It also feeds on dead fish washed up on shore as well as steals fish from smaller birds. Belying its very majestic appearance, it is sometimes a scavenger and may push away black and turkey vultures that are feeding on carcasses. Perhaps this trait is why Benjamin Franklin considered it “a bird of bad moral character.”

Double-Crested Cormorant Unlike the osprey and bald eagle, the double-crested cormorant dives not from on high but from the water’s surface and swims underneath as it forages for fish and other aquatic life. An expert at diving for small fish, it can dive to a depth of more than 24 feet for up to two minutes.

The cormorant often sits on the lake with its head and bill tilted slightly upward. The yellow-orange skin on the face and throat of this dark, prehistoric-looking bird is noticeable only when it’s very close. The S-shape crook in the neck is another distinctive feature of its black body.

The cormorant’s wings are not waterproof, and wet feathers help it to hunt underwater with speed. After being in the water, it has to take the time to dry them, which it does by perching upright with wings half-spread as it suns itself at the lake’s edge. When a male wants to catch the attention of a female, he splashes in the lake with his wings, swims in zigzags and brings up pieces of weeds after diving underneath the water.

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 29

Jordan Lake Plans for the lake were begun as part of a flood control project after a tropical storm devastated the region in 1945, although construction of the dam did not begin until 1967. Almost 14,000 acres in four counties were flooded to form the lake when the dam was completed in 1974. Another 32,000 acres of adjacent land are set aside for recreation and wildlife management.

The Visitor Assistance Center itself sits on a 400-acre site near the small rural community of Moncure and is less than three miles from exit 79 of U.S. 1 just north of Sanford.

Several trails, which require an average amount of fitness to enjoy, depart from the center and offer walking adventures through mixed oak and pine forests. On these woodland trails, stay alert to spot birds typical of the Piedmont upland forest such as the brown-headed nuthatch, scarlet tanager, indigo bunting and wood thrush

previously described in this series.

Other dirt trails along the lake and downstream banks of the Haw River also provide birding opportunities. At various times, several species of ducks, mergansers, gulls, terns and shorebirds can be seen.

Trail information is available at the center (919-542-4501), which although open daily until 4:30 p.m. this month, is open on only weekdays from October through March.

As your interest in Jordan Lake peaks this month, save some enthusiasm for next month too. On the first Saturday in October, Jordan Lakes holds a festival (held at the White Oak Recreation Area) known as Heritage Day to celebrate the area’s cultural and natural resources. Demonstrations, arts and crafts, live entertainment and exhibits are among the family-friendly activities.

OutreachNC has embarked on a yearlong series that highlights regional sites of the N.C. Birding Trail. Enjoy the series as contributor Ray Linville explores beautiful landscapes and birds of our home state. He can be reached at linville910@gmail.com.

30

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

a

™

lp? an

He

Wh

tC

o W E Do T

fundraiser event All funds raised will go toward AOS & Friends Care direct care recipient requests, programs and community education/ awareness efforts targeting older adults, with an emphasis on Alzheimer’s and Dementia.

For your donation of $25, we will purchase a mum in honor or memory of your loved one or local care facility

h

at

Ca

He

W

lp?

2 18 o n W E Do T

In Memory Of

by

ORDER ONLINE! www.AOSFCare.org Email info@aosfcare.org

Mail completed form with checks payable to AOS & Friends Care: 230 North Bennett St | Suite 2 | Southern Pines, NC 28387 ALL DONATIONS ARE TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.

name: email: phone number: mum for memory order quantity o in honor of o in memory of

x $25 = $ list name(s) below:

sponsor level: o$100 o$250 o $500 odonation: $

h

at

Ca

He

W

lp?

mums for memory™ pick-up o n W E Do T

AOSFCare.org

THURSDAY, SEPT. 20 | 3:30-5:30 P.M. 676 NW Broad Street | Southern Pines | OutreachNC.com LIGHT HORS D’OEUVRES | SEPTEMBER MUSIC | 2018 WINE & BEER

31

Lessons from Our Grandparents “At 33, I’ve already spent more days without my maternal grandfather alive than with him, and the same will soon be true of my maternal grandmother. Growing up, our Harnett County homes separated by just a quarter-mile walk through family land, it seemed impossible to spend a single day without them. I cherished my grandma’s grilled cheese sandwiches so much that I stopped by for one (crusts removed, of course) before school each morning for an entire year while she’d fill me in on the previous day’s episode of The Price Is Right, our midday show of choice when I played hooky. I sometimes wished to grow up even faster so I could join my grandpa in drinking beer and cussing.

“As the tangible mementos of their lives have faded and frayed, I find their memories live on in the folks with whom I’ve surrounded myself.

Their unwavering integrity, tremendous work ethic, sly senses of humor and abiding love for friends, family and animals are all qualities mirrored by many of my friends and family while I strive to do the same. I never got to drink a beer and cuss alongside my grandpa, but sometimes it feels pretty close.”

– Spencer Griffith, OutreachNC contributing writer

“My grampa was my first superhero. I thought he was about ten feet tall and could do anything. He used to sit with me on his lap on a rocking chair on the side porch and talk to me like an adult. He had many tragedies in his life yet he handled the good and the bad with a calm strength. I was 10 when he died yet I still feel his presence most days. I hope I have inherited some of his many good characteristics along with his genes.”

– Ann Robson, author and OutreachNC columnist

“When I was younger, I went almost everywhere with my Papa. He was my best friend. One memory that I recall better than others is an odd one.

He and I would go to the dump together, and he would sing this song, ‘To the dump / to the dump / to the dump dump dump,’ over and over again.

It sounds crazy – I mean, what kid wants to take the trash out and enjoys it? He made all things fun. Looking back now, I realize he made an impact on how I view things today. Because of him, I try to find positive in all that I do, even if it’s as simple as taking the trash to the dump.”

– Ashleigh Thompson, Aging Outreach Services (AOS) Care Concierge 32

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

“My great-grandmother Winifred Medley was a big inspiration to me and sparked my passion for working with older adults. I keep a framed photo of her in my office that shows us sharing a birthday celebration – we are both June babies. Summer at her house was always a treat. She made us homemade chocolate pudding – with lumps. As I got older, she had to leave her home and be placed in a nursing facility. That experience had a profound impact on us both. It was difficult to see her in that setting, but I went to visit as often as I could, wrote letters and thought of ways to encourage her. It was in that nursing center that I gained comfort level for interacting with other residents and the aging in general. I treasure those memories now and credit my career choice to my relationship with her and the journey she faced as she grew older.

“My grandmother, Mary Medley, was summer to me growing up. We traveled to her small town in Illinois on summer breaks and holidays. We loved going to her house. She and my grandfather often took us camping and spurred my love of the outdoors. She played games with us all the time and can still beat me at cards, although now I think she uses age to her advantage with perfectly timed memory lapses. What really stays with me and all of our family, is her faith. She prays for us and her faith is strong. She shares her experiences and relationship with Christ and we are all stronger because of it. You just feel good when you are in her presence.

This year we will celebrate her 95th birthday. You never know how many birthdays remain, so you can bet I will be with her, soaking up every ounce of her wisdom, love and faith.”

– Amy Natt, AOS CEO and OutreachNC publisher

“The gifts my great-grandmother and grandmother shared with my mom, who passed down them to my sister, myself and our children, are still alive today. The joy of a home filled with music – there was a song for every occasion; the magic of quiet time – especially in my grandmother’s den where her floor lamp filled the room with stars – the perfect place for your imagination to soar; the kindness of letting someone help even when you are very busy – there was always room for my stool at my grandmother’s kitchen counter; the excitement of an adventure – a backyard or neighborhood to explore or a simple drive to run an errand that included a stop at the bakery for a cookie; the love and respect of family, friends and community; and the understanding that a strong faith will guide and comfort your journey. Life lessons shared through the generations is truly a gift and a blessing.”

– Susan McKenzie, AOS Marketing and Public Relations Director

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 33

“I can just talk to her on the telephone for an hour, and she just keeps right up. I hope I can be like that at 96. She’s just a genuine, good-hearted woman. If there was anyone I would like to fashion myself after, it would be her.”

– Dana Quick, AOS Administrative Assistant

“The grandparent I was closest to was my Nana, my father’s mother. She lived with my family for several years as I was growing up and we became very close during this time. My fondest memory of her was of the time we travelled to Montreal, Canada to see the summer Olympics in 1976.

“Four years prior, in 1972, we watched the summer Olympics on TV together when I was 9 years old. At the conclusion of the closing ceremonies my Nana asked me if I wanted to go see the Olympics in four years when it was hosted in Montreal. Of course I said yes. She saved up the money for the event tickets, two train tickets and a private room rental for one week. I had the most amazing time of my life watching the different events in person.

We especially enjoyed watching the equestrian and track and field events. The best part was sharing the experience with my favorite grandparent.”

– Sherri Eder, AOS Billing Specialist; AOS Vacation Cottage Property Manager “Compassionate, caring, inspirational and loving are just a few words I would start with to express the impact my grandmother, Bertha Scott, known to everyone as ‘Granny’ had on my life. For as long as I can remember, my grandmother had been diagnosed with glaucoma. As I grew up I watched her vision slowly get worse, with her losing her ability to drive and needing help with simple things like writing checks and reading prices at the grocery store; yet she never complained and was always so grateful for assistance.

“Everything I learned about being the person I wanted to become came from what she instilled in me as a child. She never judged and found good in everyone she met. She taught me firsthand how to cook from scratch and was always open to letting me help in the kitchen. She taught me the importance of my faith and that I would make mistakes, but I could grow and learn from them.

“Living next door to her was an added bonus, I was at her home almost daily. She never flinched when I would bring multiple friends over and we would raid her kitchen. Her home was always open to everyone and everyone that met her; she quickly became Granny, too. She once looked at me and said ‘I have so many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and I have children that call me Granny that just adopted me as their Granny.’

“As I became an adult, the love she showed me only grew more. The impact she made on my life only inspired me that much more to want to work with older adults. As her health declined and she needed more and more assistance, I knew that if I could help others in the same capacity to be able to keep their dignity and provide them with a safe, efficient way to age then I would always have a piece of my grandmother with me. I owe who I am today all to her!”

34

– Angela Boles, AOS Care Manager OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

“I don’t know much about my dad’s side of the family, but I do remember his mom – Rachel Deaton Hill, my Granny – very fondly. She’s been gone a long time, but I remember her as a sweet, gentle woman who lived in a little brick ranch house in Carolina Beach. She loved her friends and she loved travel. I still have three little zoo animal statues she gave me when I was very young, and they’re treasured possessions.

She was a pianist, and I’m a musician as well. I like to think that music was as personal and essential to her as it is to me.

“My mom’s parents were Miriam and Pete Parham – or, as I called them, Hey-Mama and Papa. They only lived a mile away, so I knew them better, but our relationship was unnecessarily formal and distant. Papa in particular was very difficult to impress, and I know I tried really hard as a kid and a teen to make him proud of me. I never succeeded. In a lot of ways, he was the classic Southern grandfather: contrary, loud and always in the right.

“As I think about it, I realize that by being so impossible to impress he accidentally taught me to work hard at things that are important to me and not worry about the approval of others.”

– Corbie Hill, OutreachNC editor-in-chief “Nonna. Poppa Nonno. Nanny. Gramps. Four names for my grandparents as different as their influence on me. Each one taught me lessons that shaped my outlook on life, in ways they didn’t even realize. As I grow older, I think now maybe they did know exactly what they were teaching me.

“Nonna was an interesting woman with a beautiful Genovese accent. She fell in love with Pop, a rare Protestant Italian. They met while he was serving in the US Army in WWI. They fell in love and she left all she knew to move to America and marry Pop. It was a bold move for a Catholic to be in love with a Protestant. The lesson here was to be strong and follow your heart.

“Pop, fluent in seven languages, became VP in the international department in a bank. He assisted immigrants with their financial challenges by speaking with them in their native languages. He was a deeply religious and kind man. He taught me my first lessons in oil painting and helped me see the world through a painter’s eye. All the while, he was explaining God’s amazing hand in what we were painting.

“I was named Jessie, for my Nanny. Let’s just say it got me out of a lot of trouble growing up! She, too, was an amazing woman. Nanny was talented in many ways.

She was a great hostess, cook and card player and was never afraid to laugh at herself. She instilled in me a love for many of these same things. My first cooking lessons were by her side, although I never got the hang of making a good cornbread.

“Then there’s Gramps. If he opened the car door and looked at me, then we were off and it didn’t matter where we were going. A true politician, he served his country as a legislator and Speaker of the House in West Virginia for more than 30 years.

He taught me the responsibility of an educated vote and to know my own mind.

“As a sixty-something now, I look back at the extraordinary people and think they were so young when they lived through WWI, the great depression and WWII. I am proud to be a part of them.”

- Kim Gilley, Village Printers owner and OutreachNC creative director

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 35

SOUTHERN PINES/ 1819 MOORE COUNTY SEASON LEE AUDITORIUM, PINECREST HIGH SCHOOL, SOUTHERN PINES

OPENING NIGHT

Beethoven’s 5th THUR, SEPT 27, 2018 | 8PM Wesley Schulz, conductor Concert Sponsor: Aging Outreach Services

Mozart Symphony No. 40

Southeastern Health & Duke Health -

TUES, FEB 12, 2019 | 8PM Wesley Schulz, conductor

From Classical to Broadway WED, MAR 20, 2019 | 8PM Wesley Schulz, conductor

Holiday Pops

Concert Sponsor: Aging Outreach Services

WED, DEC 12, 2018 | 8PM Wesley Schulz, conductor

Celebrate the season with festive favorites, from “Greensleeves” to “White Christmas,” and more!

Debussy’s La Mer Music Inspired by the Sea

TUES, APR 23, 2019 | 8PM Wesley Schulz, conductor Brian Reagin, violin

Tchaikovsky Serenade THUR, JAN 31, 2019 | 8PM Grant Llewellyn, conductor

Light Classics WED, MAY 29, 2019 | 8PM Wesley Schulz, conductor

The warmth and rejuvenation of spring comes alive in Beethoven’s “Pastoral” Symphony, Wagner’s Forest Murmurs, and a return to Sketches from Pinehurst, by North Carolina native and NCS veteran Terry Mizesko.

Subscriptions start as low as $22 per concert!

ncsymphony.org | 877.627.6724 *Price does not include sales tax

36

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

a powerful combination against heart and vascular disease.

SOUTHEASTERN

CARDIOLOGY AND CARDIOVASCULAR CLINIC SOUTHEASTERN HEALTH

2934 North Elm Street, Suite 103 Lumberton, NC 28358

(910) 671-6619

910-947-2295

Jason C. Burgin, LUTCF, Agency Manager jason.burgin@ncfbins.com

910-315-4074

Linda D. Mabe, Agent jason.burgin@ncfbins.com linda.mabe@ncfbins.com www.ncfbins.com/moore-burgin/moorecountyoffice.html

Located in historic downtown

Southern Pines

with easy access to shopping & dining

Visit AOSVC.com to tour today!

Southern Pines, NC | Book today! 910.692.0683 SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 37

Carolina Conversations

38

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

with State Library of North Carolina Genealogy Reference Librarian Kay Tillotson

by Corbie Hill | Images courtesy of NC Department of Natural and Cultural Resources Kay Tillotson’s ancestors have been in North Carolina “since the dirt.”

They were common, ordinary people, she says, but she’s proud of them anyway. What records she can find reveal that they were born, got married, bought a little land, started families and died. They served in the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812 and the Second World War (but not the Civil War). They may not have been rich or famous, but they survived. And for that, she’s proud.

“I know that I am a little bit of everything. North Carolina was so ethnically diverse,” Tillotson says. “We had the Highland Scots, we had the Lowland Scots, we had the Scotch-Irish, we had the Germans very early, we had the Swiss that came into New Bern.” And, she adds, there was a sizable free African-American population since 1790.

As the State Library of North Carolina’s genealogical research librarian, Tillotson helps others discover their family histories. Genealogy is an increasingly popular hobby, she notes, and people even travel to North Carolina to trace their roots. So for our “Generations” issue, we spoke with Tillotson about the research, the process and the rewards of finding out exactly who you are descended from.

OutreachNC: You started at the State Library in 2001. How have your research tools changed since then?

Kay Tillotson: When I first started, many researchers were actually coming here and reading microfilm of old census information to gather information. Now our library subscribes to databases. We have a tremendous digital resource online that’s available and free to the public.

Our digital staff has been tremendous. In addition to putting up lots of state statutes and things of this sort, they have so many sites of our digital collection that very particularly are of interest to genealogists.

They have a whole family records section. They have taken family Bibles that people have brought to our library. They digitize them and put them online. My favorite place to do genealogy is at home in my jammies in the middle of the night. I can get into our digital collection. I can see Bible records. I can see cemetery records. A Bible, before there were birth and death records, was a tremendous source of births, deaths and marriages and that type of information.

ONC: What can you get from an oral history and why do oral histories appeal to you?

KT: The first thing that everybody should do when you’re starting your genealogy is find the oldest member of your family, make a date, go visit with them, take some lemonade and some cookies or some donuts, sit with them and listen to everything they have to say. Ask them about their mother, their grandmother, what their memories of those people [are]. Unfortunately, time and death and disease rob those memories from our older family members, and once they’re gone they’re lost forever.

You take all those hints and clues that you have gotten and you find an original public document that backs it up that you can cite. Greatgrandmother told me this, and look – here is his Civil War record; Here is the War of 1812 chunk of his service records. Sometimes you disprove them. As you mature, people like me, you find time passes quickly, so things you think were ten years ago may be 25 years ago.

But at least it’s a hint and a clue. It gives us a place to begin.

Plus, it’s a great gift to the older person. I always tell people to please take a recording device and actually record the person’s voice. Record Grandmother’s voice as she says it and pass it to your grandchildren.

They can actually hear the stories told in her voice.

ONC: How about African-American families whose ancestors were enslaved or indigenous North Carolinians whose ancestors had to hide or pass for another ethnicity to get by? What tools are there for people whose histories were interrupted and who want to find out their heritage?

KT: You mention two groups whose genealogies are a bit [more] difficult than [those of] people of European descent. For ancestors that were enslaved African-Americans we have the US Census. The US Census is a tremendous basic genealogy tool. Every ten years it puts a person in a time and a place. When you put them in a place you can start looking for local records.

[The Census] recorded, for example, how many slaves a person had.

From 1790 through 1840, they were just categories. It was males that fell below the age of 14, enslaved males of the age of 14-25, things like this. Those numbers gave values for tax purposes. In 1850 and 1860, each one of those census years kept special slave schedules.

Unfortunately, they did not name the slaves, but under the slaveholder, every slave was enumerated by their age and their gender. If you could find your recently freed ancestor on the 1870 Census, that’s a good place to always start.

Nothing is perfect, but if we use something like freedmen’s bank records, we find that about 90 percent of recently freed AfricanAmericans stayed for awhile close to their former slaveholder. We encourage genealogists as they look back to find their ancestors in the SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 39

1870 [census] – if not, on the 1880. Then we encourage them to look at the neighborhood: look at the people around them who have a great deal of real estate ... Then look back on the 1860 [and] see if he owned slaves, people like your ancestor in 1870. For example, a female who’s 35 -- remember in 1860, she would have been 25 years old and female. See who owned in that area a female of 25.

That might be a potential slaveholder of your ancestor.

Some slaves indeed took the name of their slave master.

There was no rule, you did not have to do that. I’m talking social history of the day and time. We’ve got to remember most enslaved people only experienced what they had been allowed by their master, virtually. Their environment was very limited.

Slave records are private records. We, in the public sector as a state library, do not necessarily have access to those records. However, many descendants of these people are finding very carefully kept records. The descendants of these former slaveholders are turning those over to public institutions. That’s a place you can begin to look.

Of course, when a person dies and they have things of wealth, in their will they are going to name each one of those slaves and tell who is going to inherit that slave.

Very often in wills or estate records, we can find those slaves listed by name.

ONC: And for indigenous North Carolinians?

KT: That’s one of the most difficult of genealogies to do, when you’re trying to prove your Native American ancestry. The state of North Carolina now recognizes eight American Indian tribes. The federal government only recognizes one of them, and that’s the Eastern Band of the Cherokee Nation. The federal government is the one that kept careful records, so we’ve got nice inventories, especially after 1835 and the Trail of Tears era of those Cherokee Native Americans.

I am not a clever person, but my ancestors were less than clever. For example, in North Carolina, for many, many years, every Indian was Cherokee. You and I know perfectly well that’s not true, but they actually were mislabeled. In Eastern North Carolina, our Lumbee Tribe is our largest tribe number-wise, but there aren’t records of who was and who wasn’t a member of that tribe, so the federal government does not recognize them. The state did not keep records of those people by name, so consequently it makes it very difficult.

40

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Of course, the Department of Administration, State of North Carolina does have an American Indian Affairs office, but to have a list of Haliwa-Saponi [tribal members] and things like that, we do not necessarily. Any lists that there are are held by those individual tribes, not by the state, because the state did not create them. They aren’t necessarily public records that we have access to.

ONC: How do you preserve not only your grandparents’ and your parents’ records and their stories, but how do you preserve your own?

KT: Everybody has their own way of doing this. I think you should record it. Among our library’s collection we have a huge collection of things, but we accept donated family histories. In that we have over 6,731 family books that have been given to our library where people have researched their ancestry. They are here and they are here for people to come in and use.

got genes? learn more here!

When conducting genealogical research make sure to check out the North Carolina Government and Heritage Library and the State Archives of North Carolina. You can visit them in Raleigh, NC or online. Both repositories are part of the North Carolina Department of Natural and Cultural Resources.

North Carolina Government and Heritage Library The North Carolina Government and Heritage Library (GHL) celebrates the study, understanding, and appreciation of North Carolina’s rich cultural heritage. The GHL offers access to an extensive collection of published materials, including family histories; published abstracts; county, state, and federal records; and census data as well as county records housed in the State Archives of North Carolina. By offering in-person and remote research assistance, workshops, online tutorials and instruction and other genealogy-related events, the GHL helps thousands of people conduct their family research each year. This fall the GHL will be offering a free online beginning genealogy course and in person genealogy presentations in the Triangle area. Please go to their website or social media accounts for more information.

The GHL is part of the State Library of North Carolina, the principal library of state government since 1812, the State Library builds the capacity of all libraries in NC, and develops and supports access to traditional and online collections such as genealogy, NC culture and heritage and resources for the blind and physically handicapped.

State Archives of North Carolina The State Archives of North Carolina collects, preserves, and makes available for public use historical and evidential materials relating to North Carolina. Its holdings consist of official records of state, county, and local governmental units, and copies of federal and foreign government materials. In addition to these official records are private collections, organization records, maps, pamphlets, sound recordings, photographs, motion picture film, and a small reference library. In all, the Archives houses over 50,000 linear feet of permanently valuable materials containing millions of individual items. The State Archives is part of the Division of Archives and Records, Office of Archives and History and the Department of Natural and Cultural Resources.

NC Digital Collections - digital.ncdcr.gov The North Carolina Digital Collections contain over 90,000 historic and recent photographs, state government publications, manuscripts, and other resources on topics related to North Carolina. The Collections are free and full-text searchable, and bring together content from the State Archives of North Carolina and the State Library of North Carolina.

Within the North Carolina Digital Collections is the NC Family Records Collection. The Family Records Collection is comprised of North Carolina family history materials from the holdings of the State Archives of North Carolina and State Library of North Carolina. The searchable online collection currently contains: • Nearly 1,500 Bible records (lists of birth, marriage, and death information written in North Carolina family Bibles) from the 2000+ copies of various donated family Bibles held by the State Archives of North Carolina • Indexed marriage and death announcements from five North Carolina newspapers (Raleigh Register, North Carolina State Gazette, Daily Sentinel,

Raleigh Observer, and News & Observer) from 1799 to 1893 • Photographs of headstones and general views of the Raleigh Hebrew Cemetery and the Hebrew section of Historic Oakwood Cemetery in Raleigh • Copies of genealogical research donated to the Government and Heritage Library.

Besides the Family Records Collection the NC Digital Collections has has over 30 different collections (see them all on the Site Map). Several of these are especially likely to be helpful for genealogical research, including: • 1901 Confederate Pension Applications • Alien Registration and Naturalization

• War of 1812 Pay Vouchers

There are also many more historical collections in which the names of ancestors may appear: • North Carolina Newspapers • Civil War • Women, Marriage, and the Law

• Selections from Print Collections • State Publications

For more information North Carolina Government and Heritage Library statelibrary.ncdcr.gov Phone: (919) 807-7450 Email: SLNC.reference@ncdcr.gov Social media: https://statelibrary.ncdcr.gov/social State Archives of North Carolina archives.ncdcr.gov Phone: (919) 807-7310 Email: archives@ncdcr.gov Social media: https://archives.ncdcr.gov/news/social-media Location: 109 E. Jones St. | Raleigh, N.C. 27601 About the North Carolina Department of Natural and Cultural Resources The N.C. Department of Natural and Cultural Resources (NCDNCR) is the state agency with a vision to be the leader in using the state’s natural and cultural resources to build the social, cultural, educational and economic future of North Carolina. NCDNCR’s mission is to improve the quality of life in our state by creating opportunities to experience excellence in the arts, history, libraries and nature in North Carolina by stimulating learning, inspiring creativity, preserving the state’s history, conserving the state’s natural heritage, encouraging recreation and cultural tourism, and promoting economic development.

NCDNCR includes 27 historic sites, seven history museums, two art museums, two science museums, three aquariums and Jennette’s Pier, 39 state parks and recreation areas, the N.C. Zoo, the nation’s first statesupported Symphony Orchestra, the State Library, the State Archives, the N.C. Arts Council, State Preservation Office and the Office of State Archaeology, along with the Division of Land and Water Stewardship. For more information, please call (919) 807-7300 or visit www.ncdcr.gov.

INFORMATION WAS PROVIDED BY THE NCDCR SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS STORY SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 41

IN PICTURES:

Photo Essay by Mollie Tobias Hawaii is a land of myths and mystery. The ancient Hawaiians, like most indigenous peoples, felt a deep connection with nature and explained everything from the creation of the Earth to the lava flowing from the volcanoes through the stories of their gods and goddesses. Much of Polynesia shares some version of the myth of Maui pulling Hawaii from the sea with slight variations from culture to culture.

The Demigod Maui was the mischievous fourth-born son of a father who was the supporter of the heavens and a mother who was the guardian of the underworld.

Like most younger brothers, he loved to tag along with his older brothers and shadow their steps. Like most older brothers, they quickly tired of his antics – especially since Maui was clever and known to trick his brothers and use trickery to steal the fish that they caught.

One day, Maui knew his brothers were planning to go out fishing without him, so he transformed himself into a small insect and hid in the boat with them until they were far out to sea. His brothers caught many fish and were about to turn for home when, where moments before an insect had been, Maui appeared. His brothers acted with disdain, but Maui pleaded with them bragged to them that he had created an exceptional hook and would catch a fish far greater than any other if they would paddle him deeper into the ocean.

42

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

His brothers agreed and they paddled far out of sight from their homeland. When they reached what Maui deemed to be far enough he baited his hook with an ‘alae, a bird sacred to his mother, and cast it into the sea.

The line went taut, and the sea began to move. Huge waves thrashed the ocean and the brothers rowed with all their might to reel in what was sure to be a giant fish. For days they battled the fish until one brother, exhausted, glanced backward. He shook with terror, for behind them rose a looming black shape. As he looked back the line went slack and then snapped, leaving behind them a trail of strange, large creatures partially submerged.

Maui and his brothers approached the nearest and Maui cautioned his brothers not to cut up this great fish while he explored. His brothers ignored his caution and began to slice off large chunks and put them in their canoe. The island – for that is what the creatures really were – raged against this invasion and caused the earth to shake. The gashes cut never did heal, and they formed the mountains and valleys that span the Hawaiian islands from sea to sea.

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 43

44

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 45

46

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

RESOURCE MARKETPLACE CARE MANAGEMENT

ADULT DAY CARE

Age With Success

I am your partner to help you make the best decisions for yourself and your family.

A member only adult day health and day care center

Open Monday - Friday Schedule A Visit!

910.722.1035 SandhillsAdultDay.com

ASSISTED LIVING

Open Arms Retirement Center

Assisted Living | Memory Care Music & Memory Certified 612 Health Drive | Raeford 910-875-3949 DENTAL CARE

910-690-9478

Angela Boles

AngelaB@AOSCareManagement.com

Care Manager

AOSNC.com

DANCE

CAREGIVER REGISTRY

A Network of Private-Duty Caregivers Serving South Central NC

910.692.0683 info@AOSNC.com

Introductory Special for New Students

Look Online for Details

AgingOutreachServices.com

721 SW Broad Street | Southern Pines, NC 28387 910.725.1846 | carolinadanceworks@gmail.com

HOSPITALS

HVAC

The right dentist can make all the difference.

Your Full-Service Residential Heating and Air Conditioning Specialists

305 Page Road | Pinehurst, NC

Serving the Sandhills since 1953

910.295.1010

Coordination of the Move | Packing & Unpacking | Minor Home Repairs Sorting, Organizing & Downsizing | Setting Up Your New Home Estate Liquidations/Auctions | Disposition of Unwanted Items

910.778.5534

www.WellenerDental.com MONEY MANAGERS

www.OneHourAirCarolinas.com

RELOCATION SERVICES

Strong Starts Within Philip Mosley

Checks & Balances

Providing Peace of Mind and the Gift of Time Daily Money Management

Take back your life.

910-683-0330 www.EveryDayChecksAndBalances.com APSeline@EDCNB.com

WELLNESS

Independent Influencer

• Downsizing • Relocation • Estate Liquidation

Don’t let the daunting task of

336-707-2101 MyBode.com/Philip Triad: (336) 213-3012 Triangle: (919) 610-1888 Call for FREE sample Sandhills: (336) 210-0140

downsizing overwhelm you and keep you from making the move to an independent living, assisted living or continuing care retirement community.

FREE In-Home Assessment

336-210-0140

Online at: Carolina-RTS.com

FREE In-Home Assessment | No Sub-Contracting

www.Carolina-RTS.com

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 47

Sunni Sky’s Ice Cream

Two Generations Fifteen Years More Flavors Than Days in Summer!

by Spencer Griffith Photography by Caitlin Penna

48

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Even without a GPS, it’s hard to miss Sunni Sky’s Homemade Ice Cream, perhaps the best-known ice cream shop in the Piedmont. Sure, you can keep your eyes open for the modest sign out front or the smiling ice cream cone across Highway 55, or you can just head north from Angier and look for the small Harnett County town’s closest thing to a traffic jam, thanks to a steady stream of vehicles turning in and out of the gravel parking lot.

From the first of March, when Sunni Sky’s opens for the season, to the last of November, when the store shuts down for the year after selling hundreds of pie shells filled with pumpkin pie ice cream, you’ll find what was a relatively barren stretch fifteen years ago teeming with activity. Multiple generations can be found rocking an afternoon away on the front porch chairs while the adjacent field fills with folks relaxing in rings of plastic chairs until late in the evening.

Canine companions join in too, lapping up doggie mix while keeping a careful eye on the brave little ones that imagine the fallen trees lining one edge of the property as a makeshift playground. It’s become a popular gathering spot for area families, thanks in part to reasonable pricing that allows Sunni Sky’s to be an affordable treat for even large clans—milkshake prices have increased by just three cents over sixteen years, while a kiddie cone rings up at just $1.50.

“I think that’s one of the things that’s made this place special for people,” offers owner Scott Wilson, 52. “They’re still able to go out someplace and do something together [affordably].” In fact, when Wilson and his wife Stacy, 54, started Sunni Sky’s in July 2003, they did so with hopes of spending more time with their own family after Scott’s previous careers in the construction and restaurant industries.

“That was the goal, but it was one of the hardest parts in the early stages,” Scott admits. “I was so married to the business, but I realized right away that I could make sure everything is perfect here or I could see my family, so I had to let go of some things and not be here 100 percent of the time.” Of course, it helped that his two children, Sunni and Skylar were also among the first employees at the business that bears their names.

Between naps and Nintendo in the back room, Sunni helped serve customers while Skylar rang them up—at age 7, he could only reach in far enough to scoop when a bucket was full. “I was homeschooled [the first year], so that was my math practice for the day,” Skylar, now 23, offers, while his father boasts that he would’ve put his son’s skills up against of his customers. “He wasn’t allowed to use the register unless there was a line out the door, so he had to do all the math in his head.”

That mental math would rarely be necessary these days, since there’s seemingly always a steady queue spilling outside, just a few steps away from Sunni and Skylar’s childhood handprints embedded in the concrete. Though customers are encouraged to sample freely, the wait is rarely long, as a dozen or more workers dodge one another while serving up cups, cones and milkshakes from a list of more than 120 flavors of ice cream (including fat-free and sugar-free varieties), sherbet and sorbet.

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 49

50

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Though the spicy Cold Sweat and even spicier Exit Wound have gained national publicity from the likes of the Food Network and the Travel Channel—brave visitors are required to sign a waiver just to taste the slew of pequin, habanero and Thai chili peppers marinated in multiple hot sauces and mixed into a vanilla base—less daring options run the gamut from classic to creative: butter pecan, cherry vanilla and brownie batter line up alongside bacon, Cheerwine and whiskey.

Scott admits one longtime fan favorite, cake batter, was a total accident. “We were trying to make a wedding cake or birthday cake, but it tasted like cake batter,” he confesses. More often, new flavors—the most recent are scrawled on a whiteboard that sits outside the entrance—are the result of suggestions from customers and employees. Some, like raspberry sherbet, are nailed on the first attempt, but most go through several iterations, being tweaked based on the input of tasters. Salt was added to the popcorn recipe thanks to feedback from visitors.

The results are stunningly accurate, even for black licorice, a recommendation from a former scooper that still gets produced despite the Wilson family’s shared distaste. “It’s horrible, I don’t even like to smell it,” Scott says with disgust. “If you told me to give you the nastiest thing ever, I’d hand you black licorice. There you go, I win. That’s awful.” For the record, crumb cake, mocha chip and caramel praline are among the family’s favorites.

Growing up around ice cream hasn’t diminished their love for it, although Skylar admits he doesn’t indulge quite as often these days. “When I was 7, I had a permanent chocolate ring around my mouth,” he remembers. “One time, he came in from the back and had ice cream all over his head because he’d put his head in a bucket and just started licking,” Scott adds, laughing.

Though her childhood summers often meant long nights spent at the shop, Sunni, now 25, never felt like she was missing out on more typical experiences.

“I loved hanging out with my dad and spending time with him,” she says, sometimes staying up until 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning helping him make ice cream once she was older. She’s rarely at the store now as she forges her own career in real estate, a passion she shares with her dad.

Along with flexible hours that allow her to still handle Sunni Sky’s social media and communications duties, Sunni appreciates that, as a realtor, she’s once again able to witness how hard work pays off, as she did from an early age. “You can see from how busy we are and the reviews we get, you’re not going to get that if you just put in half the work half the time,” she says. ‘You have to actually put in the effort and it pays off.”

“Looking back, it was good to have some responsibility and start building whatever work ethic you can,” Skylar agrees. He’s now called into Sunni Sky’s only as emergency back-up, but the recent NC State engineering graduate credits his daily approach at his job as a tower engineer to his early days spent running the register. “It didn’t affect why I chose the job I have, but it has definitely defined how I do things.”

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 51

52

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

As Sunni and Skylar strike out on their own and explore, at least for now, careers away from the family business, the Wilsons aren’t sure quite yet what the future holds for Sunni Sky’s—not that Scott seems ready to retire any time soon. “We didn’t start it with the intention that they carry this on, so there’s no pressure at all,” Scott says. “They’re both doing their own thing and we’re happy about that, because independence is great.”

Though Stacy has been phasing out of the business after a 2014 head injury, Scott points out that she’s long had a key role in the success of Sunni Sky’s.

“She’s been really good at doing bookkeeping and payroll, all the meticulous behind-the-scenes stuff,” he enthuses. Franchising was part of the original business plan and is still a possibility. If franchising does occur, Scott knows how important it is to maintain their high standard of customer satisfaction, another key company value that his wife has helped impart. “She’s bubbly and wants to make customers happy.”

After all, despite Sunni Sky’s low prices and huge variety, Scott ultimately credits their success to customer service. “Realistically, we can do anything we want with good prices and good ice cream, but if our employees give bad service, that’s what can make or break our business,” he claims, pointing to his constantly ringing phone and mentioning a dissatisfied voicemail that he plans to use for employee training.

For his current crew of mostly teenage staff—many working their first jobs— Scott hopes to model the same work ethic that he instilled in his own kids, finding that those who have passed through Sunni Sky’s ranks often value the experience in a similar manner once they get older. “They may think I’m just a loudmouth and pushing them, but I’m trying to develop them to have what they need to succeed,” he says. “One of our biggest successes is getting phone calls five or ten years down the road from former employees just saying thanks.”

Like the hard work ethic that he hopes to pass on to his staff as he did his children, Scott also treasures that Sunni Sky’s provides families with a place to bond, even if its on the other side of the counter from where his own family’s memories were forged. “Some of the best moments are just seeing the families that come out here,” he says, telling stories about particularly memorable experiences he’s witnessed.

“There’s this huge dad—he’s like 6’4”, a very solid guy—and he’ll sit down at that kiddie table with his little 3-year-old girl, right in the kiddie chair with her, and they’ll eat their ice cream together. Seeing that, it just warms my heart.”

Before

Kasia McDaniel

Declutter | Redesign | Staging BlueDiamondStaging.com

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

After OutreachNC.com 53

THE

PEOPLE’S PHARMACY

42 Years & Counting

by Art Menius | Photography by Caitlin Penna

54

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 55

beauty

Discover the of Quail Haven Village in the

Fall!

We handle the maintenance and upkeep of your home so you can do the things you love.

Call Lynn to schedule a visit of our spacious garden-style ground level apartment homes.

910.295.2294 or visit QuailHavenVillage.com

Hours: Monday-Friday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.

155 Blake Blvd. | PINEHURST A PART OF THE LIBERTY FAMILY OF SERVICES

56

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

“Terry probably would be fine without Joe,” says public television producer Will McIntyre about his friends Joe and Terry Graedon, “but Joe would be a wreck without Terry. Like a lot of successful couples, each supply each other’s deficits. Terry has strengths that Joe doesn’t have, Joe has strengths that Terry doesn’t have. They’re much stronger together than they are apart.”

The Graedons, who live in a sylvan area between Durham and Chapel Hill, have helmed The People’s Pharmacy from a single book into an impressive cottage industry encompassing a well-known public radio show, close to 20 books that have sold more than two million copies combined, a nationally syndicated newspaper column, an email newsletter with more than 150,000 subscribers, more than 30 free or low price health guides on specific topics, an information-packed, constantly updated website, even TPC-branded lip care and deodorant products. Every aspect drives their mission: “Empowering you to make wise decisions about your own health, by providing you with essential health information about both medical and alternative treatment options.”

“The People’s Pharmacy,” which airs weekly on almost 200 public radio stations, provides the flagship of the Graedons’ operations. NPR began distributing the show nationally in 1994. Some 200,000 listeners tune in each weekend. “’The People’s Pharmacy’ is WUNC’s longest running national production. In so many ways Terry and Joe have been ahead of their time and WUNC has benefited by being along for the ride,” explains David Brower, program director for WUNC-FM, the originating station for the show since its beginning. “’The People’s Pharmacy’ is exactly as the title indicates,” Brower says.

“It’s thoughtful, practical conversation about health from the patient’s perspective. Joe and Terry are not afraid to get personal, and I think that’s immensely helpful to our listeners as they explore what it means to be healthy.”

Everything started with Joe’s book entitled – wait for it – The People’s Pharmacy, which appeared only five years after he completed his master’s in pharmacology at Michigan. The tome, filled with information about prescription drugs written for the layperson, climbed the New York Times best seller list. Joe explains how Terry’s anthropology fieldwork in Oaxaca led to the book. “I was sitting on the on the veranda, and I had an idea for a book. I’m not the kind of person who can just sit around. So, there I was with a manual typewriter and a ream of paper, and I just started pounding the keys. It was partly because I was just interested in making information about pharmaceuticals understandable.”

An aunt had put the idea in his head when her questions showed him how little most folks knew about drugs or how to find information. The reception to The People’s Pharmacy proved his aunt was not alone. “The success of the book surprised me as well as the publisher beyond our wildest imagination,” Joe admits. Success took them to many of the media outlets associated with

news and celebrity, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, Today, Good Morning America, The Tonight Show, Larry King Live, Dateline NBC and CBS Morning News.

Terry thinks the timing was key. “In 1976 Our Bodies, Ourselves also came out. We caught a wave and have been riding it ever since. We had no idea that this would consume our lives. We’ve been very fortunate in how our lives evolved.”

Otherwise, Joe thinks, “I probably would have been a very unhappy person.

I would have been doing research that I would have been very sad about.”

Simply put, Joe does not feel progress in the pharmaceutical field has kept pace with his dreams in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.

Instead, “We’ve had an influence on millions of people. We’ve had so many people visit our website over the last 10, 15 years. Sometimes I sit there in awe. People from all over the world visiting us, getting our newsletter, listening to our podcasts.”

Offering your family Complete Pest, Termite, Moisture, and Wildlife Control in your area

The debut volume hit the shelves scarcely a year after Terry’s job at Duke brought them here. “I wasn’t quite sure this is where I wanted to land,” Joe told Chapel Hill Magazine. “Here we are years later, and ... this is the ideal place for us.”

Book after book – and even one medical novel – followed The People’s Pharmacy. Their books have not appeared as often this decade. “Writing books is hard work,” Terry says. The website needs daily attention that takes away our time to write. We have several books we’d like to do.”

Exploring their website could take as much time as writing a book. One can look up seemingly any prescription drug, herb or home remedy. Nearly 700 episodes, going back to 2003, of “The People’s Pharmacy” show are available in their entirety. Thousands of in-depth articles are organized by topic.

When “The People’s Pharmacy” newspaper column launched in 1978, they expected it only to last a year before they would run out of topics. Forty years later they still have plenty of content. When the column began, Joe was already developing an interest in radio. According to Terry, “Joe fell in love with talk radio on the book tour for The People’s Pharmacy. He saw the best at work and approached the general manager at WUNC-FM about doing a show.”

$50 OFF YOUR FIRST TREATMENT

Cannot be combined with any other offer.

Mention Outreach NC to redeem.

She became co-host a couple of years later in 1983. “Joe said that when he didn’t have a guest, he felt like he was talking to himself. So, he asked me to come along. I fell in love with talk radio too.”

Listeners have fallen in love with Joe and Terry. “Terry and Joe are old friends to our listeners,” Brower observes. “They’ve aged with them and trust their thoughts and analysis. They are scientists first but are not afraid to try gin raisins or a pinch of turmeric between the cheek and gum. It’s real, human and friendly.”

Their son joined the family business as sound engineer and then webmaster.

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 57

58

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

“Dave is an amazing sound editor,” says the proud father. “We could not do ‘The People’s Pharmacy’ radio show without his assistance. He has evolved into what I think is one of the preeminent sound editors in public radio land.”

Let Us Bring Things

Back Into Focus

McIntyre attributes the enduring success of “The People’s Pharmacy,” which reached episode 1126 on June 14, to expertise and enthusiasm. “They each have a passion for their own areas, but together they combine expertise and just are so knowledgeable about everything. You can talk about any sort of drug that you might find anywhere in the world, and they’ll say ‘oh, yeah.

We know about that...’ They’re not afraid to delve into areas that trained medical personnel will not approach. Plus, they make it understandable to the average person. They dispense an amazing amount of information, but they also entertain.”

The radio show displays the Graedons’ remarkable partnership. As a recent guest pointed out, kindness and generosity are essential to a lasting union.

Joe and Terry have that combined with the strength that comes from working both together and separately and approaching the same matters from different places. “I think that’s it. Complimentary and overlapping, bringing different perspectives. Joe’s a pharmacologist; I’m an anthropologist,” Terry says, modestly adding, “There is more interest in health than before.”

Carolina Eye Associates offers world-class care close to home with specialists in: Cataracts Glaucoma Macular Degeneration & Retina Diabetic & Corneal Eye Disease LASIK Surgery Dry Eye Eyelid & Brow Lifts Cosmetic Botox®

“Terry and Joe are the best. They are easy, forgiving and light up a room whenever they enter,” Brower gushes. “They complement each other, fill in gaps and are not afraid to push back when necessary. They have one of the most honest and loving relationships I’ve ever seen, and that comes through on the radio. Terry and Joe are the real deal.”

The focus of the show has evolved over the decade. Terry says, “The shift has been toward living healthy rather than just drugs.” In the mid-1990s, she became interested in herbal remedies and other alternative approaches.

“I was surprised at how much research was available, some of it not done as well as we would like.”

Joe’s training made him a believer in double-blind trials written up in peerreviewed journals. “Terry opened my eyes to what I’ll call experience and that there was an amazing amount of science around the wisdom of the old wives, the grandparents, the great-grandparents. That information that had been passed down from generation to generation. It was based on ‘did it work?’… What we try to do is we try to blend the science and the experience” Now in their early 70s, the Graedons show no signs of slowing down, intending to keep rolling with The People’s Pharmacy as long as they still enjoy it. “That’s the plan,” Terry assures me. “We’re about two years away from our 50th wedding anniversary and not too many years after that our fiftieth anniversary of working together.”

(910) 295-2100  (800) 733-5357 www.carolinaeye.com

Their titles include 1988’s 50+: The Graedons’ People’s Pharmacy for Older Adults, written when barely in their 40s. They began with “It’s not how long we live, but how we live that counts! Growing older ought to be wonderful….

But even with good planning, time, and a measure of economic security,

Albemarle  Asheboro  Cheraw  Dunn Fayetteville  Greensboro  Laurinburg Lumberton  Rockingham  Sanford Southern Pines/Pinehurst  Wadesboro

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 59

Sandhills Repertory Theatre PRESENTS

Rodgers & Hammerstein

Music Book & Lyrics

Richard Rodgers Oscar Hammerstein II

Fred Wells Walter Bobbie Orchestration by Michael Gibson & Jonathan Tunick Musical Arrangements Conceived by

Originally produced by Roundabout Theatre Company, New York City, in 1993 Director/Choreographer: Chloe Treat Asst. Director: Michael A. Pizzi Music Director: Dan Garmon Asst. Music Director: David Lussier

From Broadway and New York City

Amanda Lea LaVergne Autumn Hurlbert Annie, The People In The Picture, Grease

Legally Blonde Something Rotten

Zachary Prince

Stefanie Brown

Glinda /Nessarose Wicked TV’s The Blacklist

Matt Leisy

Jersey Boys, Honeymoon in Vegas, NYC hit revivial Sweeney Todd The Fantasticks One a Clear Day You Can See

FRIDAY • 7:30 pm SATURDAY • 7:30 pm September 21 September 22 SUNDAY • 2:00 pm September 23

THE HANNAH CENTER THEATRE The ONeal School • 3300 Airport Road Southern Pines

Tickets @ www.sandhillsrep.org

General (18-64) $35 Over 65/Military (with ID) $32 Student (18 & under with ID) $20

Purchase ONLY Senior/Military tickets @ The Pilot Box Office 145 Penn. Ave. Southern Pines Given Library (Pinehurst Village) & Country Bookshop (Southern Pines)

All Adult Tickets At Door $40

Percentage of ALL shows net profits go towards supporting performing arts in Moore County schools

60

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

growing old can turn into a nightmare. The problem is health.”

“We knew there were problems when we wrote that book, but now with the baby boomer generation exploding into retirement… everything we had written about 30 years ago or so is now ten times, 100 times more poignant,” reflects Joe. “People who thought they were going to live forever without any aches and pains are discovering that they’re taking not one, not two, but half a dozen different medications and a bunch of over-the-counter things, and we don’t have the professional support for this generation. The number of geriatricians in this country has been stagnant.”

That makes the advice the Graedons offer those who have passed their 50th birthday even more essential. “Almost the same [guidance] as people of any age,” Terry says. “The old sayings of eat well, exercise, get plenty of rest are true. Avoiding processed food is important. You don’t have to go to the farmer’s market, but you need fresh food.”

How do they maintain their obvious youthful vigor? In Terry’s view, “We follow our own advice. The trick is actually doing it.”

Take the Worry Out of Caregiving Let us provide referrals to carefully screened private-duty caregivers who work according to your needs and schedule.

- Lindsey Simmons Registry Administrator

Caregiver Registry in North Carolina

Call us TODAY!

OutreachNC.com 61 910-692-0683 | www.AOSNC.com SEPTEMBER 2018 |

GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 64

Puzzle 9 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.57)

8 6

5

6

8

1

9

5

4

3

1

9

2

2

9

Admit Badge Bangs Berry Bundle Clumsy

Cocoa Coiled Coins Copying Crime Crust

Daddy Dashed Differs Dolly Dried Ended

2

7

1

6

3

3

8

8

7

5

1

6

8

2 5 body powders 32. A pint, maybe 33. Representative 35. Marine ___ 37. Bohemian, e.g.

39. Victorian, for one 40. Arid 41. Ridge of land forced upwards between two faults 43. Go over 46. Moray, e.g.

47. Slap target, sometimes 49. Exploded artillery shell fragments 51. Eastern pooh-bah 52. Bolted 53. Manitoba’s capital 57. Kind of seat 61. Monopolize 62. Expressing profound respect 64. Absorbed, as a cost 65. Father, Son and Holy Ghost 66. One of the Barbary States 67. Bit 68. Coaster 69. Whimper

ACROSS

1. Computer info 5. Write a shared online journal 9. Kind of approval 12. Candidate’s concern

62

14. Morocco’s capital 16. Carbonium, e.g.

17. Reminder of mortality (2 wds) 19. “Baloney!”

20. Smoke out 21. Members of

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Exact Waist Fault Waste Foggy Yards Hoped Yield Icicle Ironed Learn Libraries Luckier Meats Molds Music Necks Obtained Professional Rests Saves Seven Sillier Smooth Space Sufficiently Suits Tight Until Valve

8. January’s birthstone 9. Decorative, protective object on a hearth (2 wds) 10. It may get into a jamb 11. Aardvark fare 13. Check 15. It’s always sold in mint condition (2 wds) 18. Join securely 22. Meteorological effects 24. White Cliffs of ___ 26. Cleanse with water 27. Grant 28. Put into a new order 29. Conventions 31. Bender 34. Marina sight 36. Unload, as stock 38. Gesture made with index and middle fingers (2 wds) 42. Casual top (2 wds) 44. Ascended 45. Bring up 48. Slender candles 50. Repressed (hyphenated) 53. “Come again?”

54. Bit 55. “... there is no ___ angel but Love”: Shakespeare DOWN 56. Characteristic carrier 1.

Kind of store Parliament 58. Hokkaido native 2.

Financial page heading 23. Bergman in 59. Detective, at times 3.

Pack (down) “Casablanca” 60. “... or ___!”

4.

Ancient (hyphenated) 25. Flight data, briefly 63. Cabernet, e.g.

5.

“My man!”

26. Officers’ quarters on a 6.

Follower of Mary warship 7. “O” in old radio lingo 30. Moisture-absorbing

A G I N G T H O U G H T F U L LY

Lofty Thoughts?

by Dr. Mardy Grothe

On a cold January morning in 1852, 45-year old Henry David Thoreau was in his study doing what he did best: reflecting on his life. It was five years since he completed his famous “experiment in living” at nearby Walden Pond (and two more years would elapse before his classic book on the subject would be published). As he warmed himself by the fire, he wrote in his journal: Associate reverently and as much as you can with your loftiest thoughts.

Each thought that is welcomed and recorded is a nest egg, by the side of which more will be laid.

In his journal entry, Thoreau was joining arms with the many great writers and thinkers who had influenced him over the years. Without exception, the intellectual giants he admired were people who eagerly embraced the lofty thoughts of those who preceded them. One in particular, Sir Isaac Newton, captured it all in his immortal words: “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” Yet another intellectual hero, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, expressed it this way: All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience.

This is the inaugural issue of a monthly column in which I will be exploring some of the best things ever said on aging and aging-related topics. Even though I’ve been collecting quotations for more than 50 years, it is not completely accurate to call me a quotation lover.

You see, it is not quotations that I love, but ideas, and especially Big Ideas that are Beautifully Expressed. It is not an exaggeration to say that some of those ideas have served as a kind of life preserver during some dark and scary times. Robert Burns might well have been speaking for me when he wrote in a 1792 letter to a friend:

advice

I pick up favorite quotations, and store them in my mind as ready armor, offensive or defensive, amid the struggle of this turbulent existence.

In future columns, I’ll choose a theme each month that has special relevance for people in—or approaching— their senior years (next month’s issue: “Life in the Past Lane”). In each column, I’ll begin by briefly exploring the theme and end with a sampler of quotations to assist you in your reflections on the topic. Here, then, are more memorable thoughts on the topic of thought: Thought once awakened does not again slumber. — Thomas Carlyle Nurture your mind with great thoughts. — Benjamin Disraeli Always great thoughts are dancing before us. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Great thoughts reduced to practice become great acts. — William Hazlitt A thought often makes us hotter than a fire. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Keep your feet on the ground and your thoughts at lofty heights. — Peace Pilgrim They are never alone who are accompanied by noble thoughts. — Philip Sidney Dr. Mardy Grothe (DrMGrothe@aol. com) is a retired psychologist who lives in Southern Pines. The author of seven quotation anthologies (all available at The Country Bookshop), he is also the creator of Dr. Mardy’s Dictionary of Metaphorical Quotations (DMDMQ), the world’s largest online database of metaphorical quotations: http://www.drmardy.com/dmdmq/ SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 63

IN VERSE

This is a day born budding maple tree sings back to birds nesting in her hair.

-Barbara Stoughton

When the bird flew off the chimney top looked bare in the morning sun.

-Barbara Stoughton

In spring, the rain coming down out of impending clouds causes fleeing crowds to duck under roofs in town, or under the hovering wings of gulls.

-Barbara Stoughton

Red robin chirpings lift the lighthouse deep resoundings on the edge of bay.

-Barbara Stoughton

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.54)

The grass stitched the dunes 5 4 8 9 3 1 7 6 2 into a patchwork quilt of ridges 6 8as bridges.

5 7 4 3 1 which the eye9can2 cross 7 Stoughton 1 3 6 4 2 5 9 8 -Barbara 3

6

7

5

1

Looking 8 out 5 through 2 4 6 the tall dune 4 9 1grass 7 2 the little gray fox saw me 1 3 9 2 7 coming up his path.

2 Stoughton 8 4 3 9 -Barbara 6

7

5

1

8

8

2

3

6

8

5

1

7

6

9

3

6

8

4

9

5

4

1

5

2

9

7

4

3

Puzzle 4 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.54)

4

7

6

3

2

1

8

5

9

8

1

9

3

7

2

2

4

9

3

5

6

4

7

8

5

4

3

9

6

5

5

3

1

4

8

8

7

5

6

2

9

1

GREY MATTER ANSWERS 64

3

1

7

6

5

4

5

3

5

2

8

3

5

9

2

4

1

8

9

2

7

2

1

8

7

4

2 7

4 6

2

6

1

3

4

9

8

4

6

5

7

4 6 7

5

9

5

3

8

7

3

7

2

6

1

5

9

6

7

9

6

5

3

1

6

7

8

3

3

9

6

9

6

8

1

3

3

5

8

4

8

2

9

3

9

1

2

3

6

5

6

7 4

5

7

1

3

7

2

9

2

8

4

1

3

9

4

5

8

6

4

6

8

9

7

5

1

2

3

6

1

5

3

7

9

6

3

9

4

3

7

7

1

2

6

8

7

5

7

8

4

6

2

1

5

2

8

3

7

2

9

8

4

1

6

7

8

4

4

5

6 9

3

5

3

6

3

1

9

4

7

2

1

2

4

5

7

6

9

8

5

7

1

8

2

3

7

6

5

3

8

9

4

4

2

6

1

2

9

2

1

8 9

7

8

9

6

3

7

4

6 3

2 5

9

4

1

8

4

9

6

5 2

2 7

1

3

5

1 9 3

8 7

1

8

3 7 6

5

4

6

1

2 4

9 5

SUDOKU

Puzzle 9 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.57)

2

5

7

8

3

1

6

9

4

2

8

9

2

1

9

7

4

5

6

3

8

6

4

4

3

4

4

8

1

5

2

3

1

2

9

6

5

3

9

5

4

WORD SEARCH

2

5

3

8

1

6

4

2

1

9

2

4

2

2

4

8

8

9

7

5

4

6

7

7

7

3

8

3

4

3

8

4

Dillon and Chesterfield counties in South Carolina.

2

1

9

5

4 6

3

1

5

2

8

5

6

6

1

5

8

6

5

9

1

7

7

1

2

8

7

9

Puzzle 8 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.52)

5

1

7

2

9 3 5 | SEPTEMBER 6 7 8 2 2018 1 4 OutreachNC.com

7

4

9

5

4 and of living 2 4 in5 a retirement 1 7 8 6 home 3 9 through verse.

One of her goals 5 3 7 9 6 5 4 2 8 is1 to transport readers to her beloved 6 outdoors.

4 Appropriately, 8 7 9 6 5 Stoughton’s 3 1 2 2 ten poems 1 3this2 month 8 4 were 7 5set9 at6 Cape Cod. 8 9 5 6 2 3 1 8 4 7

Serving residents of Scotland, Robeson, Richmond and

9

8

1

2

3

Hoke rating counties as well as Marlboro, Puzzle 5 (Medium, difficulty 0.59) in North Carolina, Puzzle 6 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.55)

2

4

2

1

6

9

3

8

1

4

4

8

4

2

9

1

5

4

1

CROSSWORD 6

1

8

7

3

2

3

8

9

9

5

6

1

8

6

9

5

1

7

8

2 6 1 3 7 8 4 9 www.ScotlandHospice.org 1 7 6 4 8 2 3 5

7

9

1

9

7

3 1songs 8 so 4 lightly 2 7 6 Wind over the 8 2waves 9 of 7 morning 5 1 3 tip4the6wings of gulls.

5 8 9 3 1 -Barbara 7 3 1Stoughton 6 4 2 9

7

2

Puzzle 7 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.49)

8

5

3

2

5

6

3

6

There is a time in life when long icicles freeze and chill yet there is light in ice.

-Barbara Stoughton

Morning comes and clings still as an old snow owl Stoughton is a resident of Puzzle 2 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.49) Barbara Puzzle 3 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.56) Penick Village in Southern Pines who before the rush of wings.

2 9 4 3 6 5 8 1 7 processes 8 the 6 1experiences 3 9 2 7of aging 5 4 -Barbara Stoughton

9

4

The dune felt wind in sand and grass blowing the grit away from my wandering mind.

-Barbara Stoughton

9

7

1

3

5

8

7

4

5

1

9

2

6

7

4

3

6

8

1

6

6

9 8

8 2

7

6

5

1

3 2

9 7 8

4

5

5

6

9

2 3

2

7

1

3

4

9

1

3

8

9 4

8 7

2 8 1

5

5

5 6 1 7

7

3

6

4

2

9

life

OVER MY SHOULDER

Changing Times, Changing Generations

by Ann Robson “If this is the Sandwich Generation, then I must be the peanut butter.”

I wrote these words several years ago when we had aging parents needing care and an almost-teen needing attention.

Somehow we managed to survive that life stage. “Sandwich Generation” was a popular term for a number of years.

I know there are still folks who are caught in the middle of two generations that need them. With six generations still living, several somebodies are navigating their own lives while helping those older and those younger. It’s hard to wrap your mind around six generations, let alone three or four. The Center for Generational Kinetics researches generations and has broken us down into named groups according to the years when we were born: GI Generation/The Greatest Generation consists of those born between 1901 and 1926. They have a great many attributes. They saved the world and then built a nation. They are assertive and energetic, care about their communities, have a strong sense of personal civic duty, avoid debt and pay with cash.

The Mature/Silent: We were born between 1927 and 1945.

Among our attributes are that we tend to conform to many of society’s rules. Women stayed home to raise children, but if they had to work outside the home the only acceptable jobs were as teachers, nurses or secretaries. In grade school the biggest worries were passing notes and chewing gum.

Baby Boomers: Born between 1946 and 1964, some unflattering comments have been made about this group.

They have been called the “me” generation, but there are two parts to this generation: the save-the-world group and the yuppies of the 70s and 80s. This is the generation that started to buy things now and use credit. At 77 million, this is our largest generation to date, and as Boomers have begun to age

they have impacted healthcare and other aging issues. They are redefining retirement by continuing to be active either with second careers or hobbies and exercise.

Generation X: People born between 1965 and 1980 are the first ‘latchkey’ generation, where both parents often worked.

They are entrepreneurial and individualistic. They want to save the neighborhood, not the world. This generation is likely to average seven career changes. It’s not normal for them to work for one company forever like previous generations did.

Generation Y/Millennials: These young people were born between 1981 and 2000 and are quite different from their predecessors. They respect authority and schedule everything. They are digitally literate and prefer that to actual books or newspapers. They get most of their information and socialization from the internet.

Generation Z: This youngest generation was born after 2001. They have never known a world without computers and cell phones.

This list is just at glance at our current generations with a few generalizations. Not all of us fit neatly into each category. I’m part of the “Mature/Silent” group. I am mature in years and perhaps of mind but not very silent.

Why would someone research these generations? Marketing is the major impetus but smart community planners should pay attention to the needs and hopes of each group so all of us can try to understand each other.

Ann Robson is the author of “Over My Shoulder: Tales of Life and Death and Everything In Between.” She can be reached at overmyshoulder@charter.net .

SEPTEMBER 2018 |

OutreachNC.com 65

Generations

by Corbie Hill & Michelle Goetzl

bird, which one would you be?

OutreachNC asked adults and children our September question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

If you could be a An ostrich because I heard my sister might be allergic to them! Just kidding! I’d be a peregrine falcon so I could beat Usain Bolt. – Jack, 10

I would be a bluebird because they are pretty and get to live where it’s warm.

– Janet, 65 Hummingbird. They get to eat sugar all day. – Macey, 13 A super speedy hummingbird.

– Tyler, 6 Cockatoo. – Mabel, 76 Peacock. – Gay, 87 A crow because they are insanely smart with generational memories.

– Erik, 13

It depends on how the bird is prepared. Oh, wait, you aren’t giving me one? – Jeeves the cat, 5 Carolina wren. They are so spunky.

– Ethel, 79

An eagle. Their speed and agility would make you faster. Plus, they are one of my spirit animals.

– Kate, 9 Cardinal. – Aida, 70 Amazon parrot. – Beverly, 80 Flamingo! – Samantha, 3 A dog – Micah, 5 I’d rather be a dog. – Laurie, 80

An albatross. – Corbie, 36 Pileated woodpecker – thus protected.

– Ginny, 92 I would be a rock collecting penguin because I love rocks and do not like to fly. – Layla Joyce, 8 I want to be a penguin like Happy Feet!

– Sadie, 3

If you would like to submit an answer for an upcoming question, please email editor Corbie Hill at editor@OutreachNC.com.

Please be sure to include your first name and the age you will be the month that issue runs.

THE UPCOMING GENERATIONS QUESTIONS ARE...

October: What is your favorite Halloween costume?

November: Who is the oldest veteran in your family and what was their service?

December: What is your all-time favorite holiday gift (given or received)?

66 OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

Age the way you choose.

Let our resources & experience help you maintain your independence

We offer:

• Coordination of legal, financial and health care professionals • Caregiver referrals • Placement and transition assistance • Crisis Intervention • Ongoing dementia care services • Assistance with meals, bill pay and transportation

Call for your FREE consultation today!

910-692-0683 The Experts in Aging Well

OutreachNC.com www.AgingOutreachServices.com SEPTEMBER 2018 |

67

...And Yourself with a 1-Button Personal Panic System For a home security system to be considered comprehensive it needs to protect individuals wherever they may be inside the home—whether they are down in the basement, cooking in the kitchen or watching television.

Features That Make a Difference: • Activation via 1 large, easy-to-use button • Integrated LED to indicate signal transmission • Neck strap and multifunction belt clip included • Reliable 433 MHz technology • Water resistant • Full 2-second delay on panic button • Long-life lithium batteries included • Supervised

Only

27

$

.99

per month*

Call Now!

*$99 Customer Installation Charge. 36-Month Monitoring Agreement required at $36.99 per month ($1,331.64), 24-Month Monitoring Agreement required at $36.99 ($887.76) for California, including Quality Service Plan (QSP). Form of payment must be by credit card or electronic charge to your checking or savings account. Offer applies to homeowners only. Certain packages require approved landline phone. Local permit fees may be required. Satisfactory credit history required. Termination Fee applies. Certain restrictions may apply. Offer valid for new ADT Authorized Premier Provider customers only and not on purchases from ADT LLC. Other rate plans available. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Required disclaimer for any page that mentions ADT Pulse: ADT Pulse Interactive Solutions Services, which help you manage your home environment and family lifestyle, requires the purchase and/or activation of an ADT alarm system with monitored burglary service and a compatible computer, cell phone or PDA with Internet and email access. These ADT Pulse Interactive Solutions Services do not cover the operation or maintenance of any household equipment/systems that are connected to the ADT Pulse Interactive Solutions Services/Equipment. All ADT Pulse Interactive Solutions Services are not available with the various levels of ADT Pulse Interactive Solutions Services. All ADT Pulse Interactive Solutions Services may not be available in all geographic areas. You may be required to pay additional charges to purchase equipment required to utilize the ADT Pulse Interactive Solutions Services features you desire.

68

OutreachNC.com | SEPTEMBER 2018

866.573.4909