November 2021 OutreachNC by OutreachNC

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Feature Intro: A Veteran’s Past….and Present Every November, we pay homage and give thanks to our veterans. Each year, ONC prints an interview with a veteran so we can hear their stories first-hand. We appreciate a window into the world of the people who serve our country as soldiers. This year, we have a special interview with World War II veteran Ed Black who was off the coast of Normandy on D-Day and who lives here in the Sandhills today. On June 8, 1944, in the waters off Normandy, France, a U.S. Buckley-Class escort destroyer named the USS Rich was ordered to lead a rescue mission. Another U.S. ship, the USS Glennon, hit an underwater mine, and the USS Rich was sent in support. After deploying a lifeboat for the USS Glennon, the USS Rich was circling the damaged ship when it, too, touched an underwater mine. The ship could have survived the hit (which damaged the electrical systems) but, a few minutes later, the USS Rich hit another mine. The commander, Lieutenant Commander Michel, ordered the crew to abandon the ship as it began sinking. The third and final blow came when a third mine hit the ship, and German batteries opened fire on the USS Rich.

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CONTENTS

ASK THE EXPERT: NEED A RIDE? FEATURE: A VETERAN’S PAST...AND PRESENT COOKIE RECIPES FOR THE HOLIDAYS IN THANKS: FAMILY CAREGIVER DAY

November is here and with it much gratitude. When we consider what we have to be thankful for, we at OutreachNC and Aging Outreach Services think about our many friends – clients, colleagues and community members. We are so grateful for the support of readers and the many people in our community who answer our questions, provide us with thoughtful interviews and offer us your expertise. This month we offer gratitude to our veterans for Veterans Day on November 11. In our feature we hear from local World War II veteran Mr. Ed Black, who survived the sinking of the USS Rich off the coast of Normandy and is thankful for community support today. We are thankful for Aaron Dannenberg for offering us his family’s snickerdoodle recipe, which the office staff assures us is amazing. Aaron has been baking and cooking for the AOS staff for weeks now, and we promise….he delivers! Amy Natt offers up tips for transportation for loved ones and parents who have stopped driving. These suggestions and insight come at the perfect time, as we all begin traveling to visit loved ones, attending church services and parties, and connecting with community. Finally, we are thankful this month (and every day) for our family caregivers who work tirelessly to provide support for loved ones. Next month we’ll explore family caregiving and provide suggestions for support, particularly in relation to caregiving during the COVID-19 pandemic. For now, we offer our thanks, gratitude and appreciation for all of the family caregivers who keep us safe, healthy and supported. In a season of thanksgiving and thoughtfulness, the words of Epictetus remind us:

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

Let us rejoice in the people here, today, who love us and care for us. Let us remember the community surrounding us and the blessings in which we can rejoice in the present moment. Even in uncertain times and enduring the lingering effects of a global pandemic, there is much to be thankful for. Let us celebrate these blessings this holiday season. In thanks, facebook.com/agingoutreach/

instagram.com/agingoutreachservices/

“We have learned that connections to people are something to be treasured and that it takes everyone working together to tackle the many changes we have faced in recent months.” Amy Natt, CEO & President

I AT T

Aging Outreach Services dedicates each November as a time to show our gratitude to our many clients, families, network of colleagues and care providers.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Amy Phariss, Editor-in-Chief, OutreachNC | editor@outreachnc.com

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T G R AT I

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ASK THE EXPERT: NEED A RIDE?

NOVEMBER 2021 - 4 My mom is living on her own for the first time in 52 years. She stopped driving about 10 years ago, as my dad always did the driving. My brother and I both live out of town and are looking for suggestions for transportation. There are several options for transportation; some offer more benefits than others. You will also have to determine which options are available in her specific community. Some options require technology, so it will involve her comfort level with navigating them. If your mom has any mobility issues or would benefit from assistance beyond just the ride, a more specialized option might be a good fit.

Private Duty Caregiver – you may want to consider hiring a private duty caregiver for your mom. If she scheduled the bulk of her appointments, errands, and shopping on set days of the weeks, you could set up a caregiver for those days. This gives your mom someone to drive her, as well as an extra set of hands for things like putting groceries away. She would have a familiarity with the caregiver, and they can build a relationship. Medical Transport Services – if mobility becomes an issue or something special is needed, like a wheelchair transport, there are services that offer medical transport with wheelchair accessible vans. Facility Transportation – if your mom decides to transition to a continuing care retirement community or assisted living facility, they will have transportation options for residents. Here are some things to ask when you are looking for transportation options: • Do rides need to be scheduled in advance? If yes, how far in advance? • How long is the typical wait for a ride?

Ride Share Apps – most people are aware of ride share apps, but these require her to use a smart phone to request a ride. They are dependable in bigger areas but may be very limited in more rural areas or smaller communities. She would get different drivers each time and would need to be comfortable riding with someone she doesn’t know. Taxi and Transportation Services – many communities offer taxi or private transportation services. These allow you to set up rides as needed and may offer more consistency in getting the same driver each time. Some will offer basic services, like grocery shopping, in addition to transportation. County Transportation – try calling your county or area agency on aging. Most counties will offer some type of public transportation. These may involve waiting longer for rides and require prescheduled rides, but they offer affordable transportation options.

• Will the driver drop her off and wait for her? Or will she need to let them know when she needs a return ride and how long will that wait likely be? • What is the cost of the ride and what forms of payment are accepted? • Are there any eligibility requirement to use the transportation? • What credentials do the drivers have? • Does the driver offer assistance beyond providing the transport, like help with groceries? • What area or distance is transportation available? How far from her home will they go? Once you gather all of your information, you can determine the best options and try a few of the services out while you are in town visiting. Having access to transportation will help your mom feel a sense of independence. Create a list for her, so she will have options. If you find that she needs more hands-on assistance in navigating and accessing these options, consider working with a local care manager who can help her determine the best fit and coordinate the details for her.

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A Veteran’s Past... and Present by Amy Phariss

continued from page 1 In total, 91 of the USS Rich’s crew members were killed or injured, and another 64 went missing. Seventy-seven years later, one of USS Rich’s crew members lives in Fox Hollow Senior Living Community of Pinehurst, right here in the Sandhills. Mr. Ed Black was onboard the USS Rich the day it sank off the French coastline. After jumping from the sinking destroyer, Mr. Black was shot by enemy artillery and spent over a month in an English hospital before making his way home to the United States. During a charming and poignant hour, Mr. Black showed me the scar from his bullet wound, gave me advice on how to get along in life (97 years has given him plenty of fodder) and told me what it was like to come home from war. He also showed me the incredible support and love he’s received from the community today, when Jennifer Tyner, his care manager with AOS Care Management, asked if there was anything that would brighten his mood.

Mr. Black told Ms. Tyner that receiving mail always makes him happy, but he said he rarely gets anything in his inbox. Ms. Tyner put a call out on Facebook for anyone who felt compelled to send a note or letter, cheering up Mr. Black’s mailbox. Two weeks later, the pile of letters, cards, quilts and other mementos is piled high while we sit and talk about not just a World War II veteran’s past but his present – his life now, and how much brighter the world is when we have something as simple as a letter to open. OutreachNC: Thank you for taking time to share with us some of your stories. I know you were off the coast of Normandy for D-Day. What was your role in WWII? Mr. Ed Black: I was on the 1.1 aerial gun. There were 12 of us. I was the man in charge. When the ship sank, it killed 9 of the 12 of us.

NOVEMBER 2021 - 7 I was an ensign in the Navy. I was in the Navy a little over a year. We were the first ones to go down. We went to Normandy in 1944. It wasn’t a nice place to be that day. I remember fear. I was on the aerial gun on the rear of the ship, and a bomb hit us. It cut the back of the ship off. We knew then something was wrong. We had to throw the shells overboard because they were magnetic. I turned around and said, “Boys we can’t do anything else down here. We better go up.” We went up to the middle of the ship and another bomb dropped on us there. We were just a young bunch of boys. We were kids. We were kids. I was swimming and couldn’t swim then. I felt something on my leg. I’d been shot in my leg in the water. It was just above my knee. I couldn’t swim then, and I told my buddy. But we survived.

I am not a hero. I’m a survivor. The heroes are in the graves. I’ve been to a lot of the graves. Those are the heroes. ONC: And you’re from Pinehurst? This is your hometown? You know it. I’m just a country boy. Don’t play golf. Many years ago, the ambassador from France came over here and wanted to take 100 veterans back over there as a gift from France. They took 100 of us in a brand-new plane. We got over there, and there was a big crowd of people. I was in a wheelchair, and my aid rolled me up under a pine tree. A soldier came over to me and said, “Mr. Black, are you back over here? It’s good to see you.” My aid said, after some time, “Here comes Prince Charles.” Here he comes over and shook hands with me and asked about the trouble we had when that ship sunk. I worked in the post office in Pinehurst. I was a window clerk. I used to give George Marshall his mail. I bought a station wagon, and I had my four boys in it with me, and I’d take him his mail. I took the mail to him on Sunday. I knocked on the door and said, “General, it’s Ed with the mail.” My four boys had followed me into the house. I told them to get back to the car, but the General told them to come on in. His wife came out, and she said,

“Those are some nice boys.” When Christmas came around, they sent presents to the boys. ONC: Speaking of mail, you have a big pile of letters sitting here on your bed. Can you tell me how did all these letters start coming? ED: She put it on the internet. Jennifer Tyner, my care manager. I’ve hit over 400 now in two weeks. Isn’t that something? Somebody loves me. I don’t deserve it, though.

I’m crazy to read them. I read them all. They send flowers and cards. This quilt on my bed….I got this in the mail. Just look at this. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? And they decorated my refrigerator, too. I like to give, too. I give cookies to the lady down the hall. I have diabetes, so I can’t eat a lot of this stuff they have here, but I give them to the ladies. I like to give. I’m 97 years old. ONC: So, you’re 97. After a full life, what would you say is the biggest lesson you’ve learned? ED: Quit dating women. ONC: Yeah? Women are trouble? ED: Well, they can make some for you. I won’t say any more than that.

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NOVEMBER 2021 - 9 ONC: What would you say has been the best time of your life? ED: I guess getting home after I got hurt. My mother and two brothers were sitting in a car in Southern Pines, and I got off the train. I was unconscious in England for a month and a half. I got sent home on survivor’s leave. They were waiting for me in Southern Pines. I walked around the corner. They didn’t recognize me. My face was a mess. Any time you’ve been gone like that, it’s good to get back to see your family. We went on up to my uncle’s home. We went on up to see his whole family, my first cousins. We used to play together a lot. They’re both dead now. They didn’t live as long as I did. I feel good about being here now, where I am. I go down to the kitchen and they have a place waiting for me, a table by the window. Sometimes the food is waiting for me.

eggs for me. These people work hard. They work hard at what they do. I came here after I fell. I hit my head, and something just went wrong with my mind. I call it having a “fit.” I don’t drink and don’t smoke. I never did, not a whole lot. ONC: What has been your favorite country to visit? ED: France. I just love going to the Eiffel Tower. You can see everything from the top of the Eiffel Tower. ONC: What has been your least favorite country to visit? ED: I’d hate to say. I’d be condemning the people who live there. On that note, Mr. Black had an appointment and our time together was up. As the hour-hand hit 2:00, the clock above his television played “Anchors Away.” Ever the gentleman, Mr. Black thanked me for my time and thanks all of the people who have brightened his inbox and a veteran’s day.

I like to put ketchup on my eggs, so they brought me a big bottle of ketchup on the table. They’ll put it on the

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Cookie Recipes for the Holidays

With holiday season officially upon us, baking supplies have been added to many of our grocery lists. Whether we’re baking pies for Thanksgiving dinner or a side dish for a holiday party, November and December are full of warm-oven smells. One of the traditions we love most is the good old-fashioned cookie exchange. Who doesn’t love an invitation to a party in which we arrive with one type of cookie and leave with 10? This year, if you’re lucky enough to attend such a party in person, these recipes are wonderful classics to include in the mix.

Aging Outreach Services’ own Aaron Dannenberg has been supplying the office with baked goods for a few months now, and these are a staff favorite. He even includes substitutions for any dietary limitations or preferences. Thanks, Aaron!

Snickerdoodles

Ingredient List: • ½ cup butter, softened. You can also experiment with melted butter or browned butter. • ½ cup shortening • 1 ½ cups of sugar (I like brown, but you can use white, brown or raw) • 2 eggs • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract or fresh vanilla • 2 ¾ cups flour (you can use regular, oat, coconut, gluten-free – this recipe works well with all) • 2 teaspoons cream of tartar • 1 teaspoon baking soda • ½ teaspoon salt For rolling the dough in before baking: 2 tablespoons sugar 2 tablespoons cinnamon Directions 1. Preheat oven 400° F (or 375° for convection). 2. Cream the butter, shortening, 1 ½ cups of sugar, eggs and the vanilla first. 3. Then blend in the flour, tartar, soda and salt, mix until well blended. 4. Form the dough into balls and roll them in the sugar/cinnamon mixture. 5. Place about 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheet. 6. Bake 8-10 min and keep an eye on the cookies. 7. Remove after baked and let cool on a rack before storing. 8. Enjoy!

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If you’re looking for a ginger-molasses cookie that packs a punch, look no further. Softer than a store-bought version and full of spice, these cookies are a family favorite and cookie-exchange classic. They stay soft for days, if they last that long!

Chewy Ginger Cookies

¼ teaspoon salt ¾ cup butter, softened to room temperature ¼ cup granulated sugar ½ cup packed brown sugar 1 large egg ¼ cup molasses 1 teaspoon good-quality vanilla extract

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Ingredients • • 2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour • • 2 teaspoons baking soda • ½ tablespoon ground ginger (add in crystallized • ginger if you have a hankering for full-flavor • ginger) • • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon • • ½ teaspoon ground cloves • Directions 1. Whisk together flour, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, and salt. Set aside. 2. In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy, roughly 2 minutes. 3. Add the egg and beat until incorporated. Add molasses and vanilla and beat on low until combined. 4. Gradually add in the dry ingredients. 5. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours. 6. Preheat oven to 350° F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone mat. 7. Transfer coarse sugar into a small bowl. Scoop out 1-2 tablespoons of cookie dough at a time (a cookie-scoop tool is great for this step) and roll into a 1-inch ball. Roll in the bowl of sugar to fully cover the cookie ball. Place on the lined baking tray, spaced 2-3 inches apart. 8. Bake for 8-10 minutes until the edges are set. Remove from oven and allow the cookies to cool for 5 minutes on the baking sheet. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Tips: You can add crystalized ginger chunks to this recipe if you want to go all-out ginger (which some of us appreciate). A cookie-scoop tool is a great gadget for these cookies, making your baking life much easier. If, when you remove the cookies from the oven, a dome has formed, gently press down with the back of a spatula. Or….forget perfection and let it ride. Enjoy with a mug of tea and a slosh of whiskey if it’s evening and you’ve accomplished all your goals that day.

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GRAY MATTER GAMES

ACROSS 1. Rhyming word game 7. Christmas song singer 14. Lamenters 15. Cupidity 16. Producing a photochemical effect 17. Seasonal wind in southern Asia 18. Backstabber 19. Church official 21. “___ bitten, twice shy” 22. Pinocchio, at times 24. Gift tag word 25. Butt 26. ___ tube 28. Barber’s motion 30. “How ___!” 31. Fit together 33. A late riser 35. Kind of triangle 37. More flashy, as in clothes 40. Bundle

44. Coastal raptor 45. Excursion 47. Harder to find 48. Dumfries denial 49. “Beowulf,” e.g. 51. Harp’s cousin 52. Gossip, slangily 54. Bag 56. A.T.M. need (acronym) 57. Iridaceous plant with fragrant one-sided clusters of flowers 59. Turned away 61. South American, dark, nocturnal bird 62. Teapot covering (2 wds) 63. Sports official 64. Off the mark DOWN 1. Addictive narcotic 2. Canes made from palm stems

3. “Gimme ___!” (start of an Iowa State cheer) (2 wds) 4. Darn, as socks 5. Succinct 6. Academy Awards 7. Daisy-like plant 8. Shakespeare, the Bard of ___ 9. Amscrayed 10. About (2 wds) 11. Young Simba (2 wds) 12. Destruction of the environment 13. Backed out of a

promise 14. Nemo’s dad 20. Draftee 23. Stop working 27. Medical advice, often 29. Soft, moist part of fruit 30. ___ Flatts 32. “Go ahead!” (2 wds) 34. Reverse, e.g. 36. A musical composition in someone’s honor 37. Summon (2 wds)

38. “Little House on the ___” 39. Alone, used with “by” 41. Atomic number 36 42. Supremely spooky 43. Chic 46. Plagiarist 50. Speleologist 53. Daughter of Zeus 54. Cork’s country 55. Brandy flavor 58. “Dear” one 60. ___ Victor (acronym)

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We’re here to help you navigate all things aging! www.AOSNC.com info@AOSNC.com | 910.692.0683 Find current & previous issues of OutreachNC Read the latest from our blog Join our free digital mailing list Sign up for home delivery of OutreachNC; Only $16 for 12 issues Send us your questions

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NOVEMBER 2021 - 15 November 24 is Family Caregiver Day. At Aging Outreach Services and OutreachNC, we all know the value of family caregivers. This unpaid and often unacknowledged work force cares for family members and loved ones in myriad ways, from bathing and grooming to grocery shopping and providing transportation. We want to take this time to honor the caregivers among us and acknowledge all of the hard work, time and devotion family caregivers provide. We see you, appreciate you and thank you for your service! Over 95% of family caregivers help with activities of daily living (ADL). On average, family caregivers spend 13 days each month helping with tasks such as shopping, food preparation, housekeeping, transportation, and medication management. Caregivers spend another 6 days per month feeding, dressing, grooming, walking, assisting with exercise, and assisting toileting for loved ones.

Caregivers above the age of 75 provide approximately 34 hours of care per week. 42% of caregivers are caring for a parent. 70% of caregivers between the ages of 50 and 64 are providing care for a parent. 15% of caregivers are caring for a friend, neighbor or non-relative. While most caregivers reside within 20 miles of family members, 3-6 million Americans provide care for family members living 450+ miles away.

43% of caregivers feel responsible for providing care tasks for loved ones because no one else is available to help and/ or insurance does not provide coverage for these services.

Roughly 5.5 million caregivers care for a family member who is former or current military personnel in the United States.

The average age of a family caregiver is 49 years old.

The average age of a care recipient is 69.4 years old. The average age of a caregiver for someone over 65 years of age is 63 years of age themselves. Many of these caregivers are spouses. The primary family caregiver of someone with dementia reports spending 9 hours per day providing caregiving. Family caregivers spend, on average, 24.4 hours per week providing care for loved ones. Roughly 76% of persons with developmental disabilities reside at home, with family members as the primary caregivers.

Post-9/11 military caregivers are more likely to be employed, less likely to have support, are younger than other caregiving populations and are more likely to provide care for someone with a behavioral health condition.

Veterans caregivers are more likely to have care recipients with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and paralysis or Spinal Cord Injury. According to research by the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) and the AARP Public Policy Institute (2015), 36% of family caregivers of adults 50 years of age and older report moderate to high levels of financial strain.

Sources: Committee on Family Caregiving for Older Adults; Board on Health Care Services; Health and Medicine Division; National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine; Schulz R, Eden J, editors. Families Caring for an Aging America. Washington (DC): National Academies Press (US); 2016 Nov 8. 4, Economic Impact of Family Caregiving. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK396402/ Family Caregiver Alliance. Caregiver statistics: Demographics. https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiver-statistics-demographics/

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• Bedroom & Bathroom Safety Products • Ceiling Lifts • Pool Lifts • Home Safety Automation • And More!