OutreachNC magazine - May 2014

COMPLIMENTARY

Navigating Lifestyle Choices for Active Adults

Daylilies of the garden

Marietta Gardens grows on four generations of family land in Robeson County

May 2014 | Volume 5, Issue 5 | www.OutreachNC.com

O U R D O G WO O D S w i l l G R E E T YO U F I R S T, F O L L O W E D by your NEW NEIGHBORS. With 50 years of excellence behind us and the addition of a new housing option in our future, our charming neighborhood offers new friends, a carefree lifestyle, more opportunities to do the things you love, and peace of mind for you and your family.

Come join us for a presentation to learn more. May 6th OR 22nd from 4 to 6. Includes cocktail with residents after the presentation. Reservations are required.

Please call (910) 692-0449 today to RSVP.

A Community for Active Lifelong Living A Continuing Care Retirement Community

500 East Rhode Island Ave. | Southern Pines, NC www.penickvillage.org | (910) 692-0300

May 2014

Features

Navigating Lifestyle

Choices for Active

Adults

Cover Photo

by John Shooter Daylilies of the garden

Marietta Gardens grows

on four generations

of family land in Robeson

May 2014 | Volume 5, Issue 5 | www.OutreachNC.com

Volume 5

Issue 5

County

32

50 at 50 Kathy Westbrook takes us along on her challenge to change her perspective on a big birthday.

35

Ombudsmen protect rights Learn about this program that covers every county and needs volunteers to meet community needs.

37

40

Fayetteville's Shea Ralph is still making her mark in basketball at the University of Connecticut.

35 32 4 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

Daylilies of the garden Row after row of homegrown daylilies are about to burst with blooms along N.C. 904 in Fairmont.

37

40 C arolina Conversations with

UConn assistant coach Shea Ralph The North Carolina native talks about her mother's influence, playing days and coaching.

45

Docking in Oriental In our Destination Retirement series, we meet a couple who calls their boat home sweet home.

46

Old Laurel Hill Presbyterian Our historic church series travels to Laurinburg where Scots have been congregating since 1797.

46 45

48 The gift of health

A look at prevention, screenings and tips as a reminder to take care of the women we love in honor of National Women's Health Month.

48

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy & Wound Healing at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital, Richmond Memorial Hospital & Moore Regional Hospital-Hoke Campus FirstHealth Wound Care & Hyperbarics offers the latest treatment and technology for hard-toheal wounds in a convenient outpatient setting.

Treatment options include hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT), which uses pure oxygen under high pressure to enhance the body’s natural ability to

www.firsthealth.org/wound

heal. It is particularly helpful in healing diabetic foot wounds and wounds from radiation treatments.

Ask your doctor if HBOT or other specialized care is right for you. For more information, please call (910) 715-5901 in Pinehurst, (910) 878-6750 in Raeford, or (910) 417-3636 in Rockingham.

247-82-14

May 2014

Columns 7 Literary Circle

Book review of "Remarkable Creatures"

by Cos Barnes

10 Ask the Expert

Resources for helping decide when it's time to stop driving

by Amy Natt

11

Belle Weather

Meet 'Ms. Language Person'

by Celia Rivenbark

12 Brain Matters

“It’s spring fever...You don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!" — Mark Twain

18

52

Grey Matter Games

53

Law Review

22 Hospital Health

53

Medicare Update

Physician assistants join area clinics

Understanding enrollment periods

by Lynne Drinkwater

23 Senior Moments

55

Resource Marketplace

Happiness

Why happiness matters

by Henry S. Miller

20 Game On

Ladies take to Pinehurst No. 2

by Thad Mumau

Taking one for my team

by Barb Cohea

24 Senior Shorts Fiction

Depression and anxiety hurt memory

by Karen Sullivan

"Sylvia's Crossing"

by LFA Turppa

14 Cooking Simple

28 Recipe Corner

15 Sentimental Journey

30 Writing After Retirement

16 Spirituality

31 Fitness

Lemon Curd and Lemon Curd Strawberry Shortcake

by Rhett Morris

Magic of a melody

by Jennifer Pollard

A beautiful journey

by Karla Anderson

Pan Seared Halibut with Orange, Crab and Mint

by Jennifer Seay

Sudoku, crossword and word search

Select the right executor

by Jackie Bedard

Find the professional services you need

58 Over My Shoulder Mothers' jobs never done

by Ann Robson

20

Overcoming writer's block

by Ed Glassman

555-1234

4 tips to keep you on track

by Kristie Shifflette

Moms everywhere get the latest news online from us!

Happy Mother’s Day from

www.AberdeenTimes.com

58

Literary Circle

Book Review by Cos Barnes

"Remarkable Creatures"

I

never thought I would be interested in a book about fossils. Tracy Chevalier’s “Remarkable Creatures” changed my mind. I loved the book. I also learned something I guess I already knew: don’t let a friendship die without doing all you can to reclaim it.

Two personalities could not differ more. Mary Anning, struck by lightning as a baby, is a hunter of fossils and a native of Lyme Regis, England where she has resided all of her life. Uneducated and poor, Mary has a brother and a mother, and does what she can to add to the family’s resources by collecting and selling ammonites, or “curies,” as she calls them. She also is a laundress, but she has “the eye” and can see what no one else can see. Her cabinetmaker father dies, and Mary must aid her family and help to put food on their table.

Drawn to Mary is Elizabeth Philpott, a London spinster who has a curious mind and is fascinated with discovering these creatures of stone and collecting them. Much better educated than Mary and with instincts and inclinations to help her sell her wares, Elizabeth becomes involved with the whole business. She is two decades older, but their friendship is solid. Other matters come to bear, and there is jealousy and resentment, but eventually maturity and refinement occur.

Constrained by their gender, these two women are considered unsuited for understanding their discoveries. However, they eventually teach the men a thing or two about an Ichthyosaurus and ammonites.

Chevalier is also the author of “The Girl with the Pearl Earring.”

Email Barnes at info@outreachnc.com.

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May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 7

From the Editor

M

ay turns another page on the calendar. It is hard to believe spring is here, and summer is right around the corner. Time certainly doesn’t feel like it is on my side. However, stories are in full bloom this month as this season moves from azaleas and dogwoods to roses and lilies.

North Carolina is fertile ground for many a beautiful plant, and such daylily plants, vigorous in color and vitality, are the specialty of Marietta Gardens in Fairmont. It is a place most notice in May and June en route to Myrtle Beach when the fields along N.C. 904 in Robeson County are painted with all the colors of the rainbow. We go down on the farm, where this flourishing garden resides on four generations of family land.

The land of Pinehurst No. 2 has returned to its original Sandhills state with its redesign, and the ladies will take to the course next month, so we look back at the history of the Women’s U.S. Open in this month’s Game On. Fayetteville’s Shea Ralph knows all about the great game of basketball. As a high school player of the year, collegiate national champion at the University of Connecticut, and now as an assistant there, we sit down for a Carolina Conversation to talk about playing, coaching and her team’s newest trophy as the 2014 NCAA women’s basketball champion.

To champion National Women's Health Month, it’s the perfect time to remind yourself or the women you love about the importance of an ounce of prevention, healthy living and warning signs that are often overlooked as we age.

Birthdays and aging can be tough, so we take a look at one woman’s personal journey to make the most of her big birthday with a "50 at 50" challenge and how it changed her for the better.

One not so well-known initiative that is quite remarkable and challenging within our state is the ombudsman program, which protects residents’ rights in long-term care facilities. Since one ombudsman cannot be in all places, community advisory committees serve as the eyes and ears on the ground within each county. We learn of their good works making visits and highlight this important volunteer opportunity.

We make our next visit on our historic church tour to Old Laurel Hill Presbyterian Church in Laurinburg, where Scottish settlers first came together to celebrate their faith back in 1797.

We’ll learn the history behind a visit by Gen. William Sherman and Union troops in 1865 as a stopover on their march to the sea.

As the sea calls many a sailor, the small coastal town of Oriental beckons many retirees, especially those who call their boats home sweet home. We meet one such couple who not only enjoys boat life but also giving back to their community.

Since spring sprung, co-editor Jeeves has been busy enjoying all the fresh air he can in our rooftop garden. Perhaps you can turn these pages while enjoying a beautiful spring day outside, too. Until next month...

—Carri e Frye

PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax PO Box 2019 | 101-A Brady Court Cary, NC 27512 919-909-2693 Office | 919-535-8719 Fax editor Carrie Frye | carrief@outreachnc.com advertising sales Shawn Buring 910-690-1276 | shawnb@outreachnc.com Ray Stancil 919-909-2693 | rays@outreachnc.com

marketing & public relations Susan McKenzie susanm@agingoutreachservices.com creative director/graphic design Stacey Yongue | staceyy@outreachnc.com OutreachNC is a publication of Aging Outreach Services, Inc The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted

by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use, without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

www.OutreachNC.com

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Ask the Expert

by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA

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10 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

Our certified care management professionals will answer any aging questions you have.

Email your questions to info@outreachnc.com.

Q

Last week, my husband had a fender bender with the mailbox. He said he was just having difficulty turning to look over his shoulder and swerved a bit. We avoid driving at night but do continue to drive many places around town.

How do we know when it’s time to give up the car? Is there a test that can be done to help determine it's no longer safe to drive?

A

Driving rules for older adults has been a topic of recent discussion and scrutiny. In North Carolina, starting at age 66, drivers must renew their licenses every five years instead of every eight. Doctors, family members and law enforcement may report potentially unsafe drivers of any age to the Department of Motor Vehicles’ medical evaluation program. The DMV can revoke licenses, require periodic medical reports or restrict licenses to such things as trips only to and from the doctor, or daylight driving only. Anyone can request that a driver be evaluated, but the request must be in writing and signed.

However, before it gets to that point, drivers can be proactive in determining if age-related changes or a medically based disability is

inhibiting their ability to drive safely.

AAA offers tools for driver safety assessment. They offer a list for selfevaluation as well as a computer assessment you can take online ( w w w. S e n i or D r iv i ng . a a a . c om / evaluate-your-driving-ability). AARP also offers a driver safety online course (www.AarpDriverSafety.org) promoting safe driving practices.

These give the driver valuable feedback and highlight any red flags.

For a hands-on approach, there are programs where your husband can go and be tested by a trained professional.

An occupational therapist or certified driver rehabilitation specialist can provide a comprehensive evaluation of the skills needed to drive and recommend car modifications. These assessments fall into two categories: driving skills evaluations and clinical driving assessments. A driving skills evaluation includes an in-car evaluation of your driving abilities and a recommendation regarding any further specialized drivers' training.

Clinical driving assessments are used to identify underlying medical causes of any driving performance deficits and offer ways to address them. Duke, for example, offers a Resources For Seniors Driving Assessment. The Duke Driving Program provides a clinical evaluation by an occupational therapist and focuses on physical strength and coordination, cognition, vision/ perceptual skills and reaction time.

It is much better to be a part of that process and make the decision with dignity than take on the liability and guilt of an accident that could have been prevented.

Natt, a certified senior advisor and care manager, can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com.

Belle Weather by Celia Rivenbark

Meet 'Ms. Language Person'

A

much older humor columnist named Dave Barry used to write as Mr. Language Person, or some such, when addressing the woeful state of the English language in a semi-comical way. OK, actually in a hysterically funny way, but, well, I'm a small, petty person and Mr. Barry is very rich and famous and won a Pulitzer Prize for humor which, trust me, is about as likely an event as the Koch Brothers deciding to invest all their billions in inner-city arts programs for transgendered youth.

'Nother words, it just doesn't happen.

That said, I've decided to debut my own Ms. Language Person to air a few grievances, that's right, Festivus style, about words and phrases that need to go bye-bye. ●"No problem!"

I've written about this before, but it has been a while and, shockingly, none of you were paying attention.

So, let's try this again. If you wait tables, please do not respond to my request for "ketchup," "steak sauce," or "a water glass without someone else's lipstick stuck to it," with "No problem." The problem with "no problem" is that it implies that I have inconvenienced you in some way, that I have distracted you from your need to check your Tweets for the 20th time this hour or whatever. It's not just restaurants, it's in every store and it is always uttered by a smiling millennial. Stop it.

Of course it's not a problem. It's your JOB. Don't make me pull over this humor column. ●"Consciously uncoupling."

Oh, yeah, baby. You knew this one was coming, didn't you? I don't

expect Gwyneth Paltrow, the world's oldest waif, to honestly start a trend with this pretentious claptrap but, just in case, let's just nip it, nip it in the bud. You're busted up, Gwynnie.

Your divorce isn't special enough to need its own language. In the United States, a couple gets divorced every 13 seconds. Calling your split something besides divorce just makes me want to force-feed you plate after plate of Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni until you're normal. This could take a while.

(As an aside, since we're talking about celebs, let's also get rid of "pedirazzi." This is a derisive term used by celebrities who don't want photographers taking pictures of their children when they are on family outings and such. They demand that their children never be photographed because it is scary and intimidating.

Hogwash. If you want to protect your kids, move out of Hollywood.

Nobody saw Meryl Streep's kids until they were, like, 65 years old.) ●"Anyways:" Now Ms. Language Person (that's me, remember?) will stipulate that this train has left the station, and we may never be able to get the genie back in the bottle and a few thousand other cliches, but can we try? I'm not sure where this started but it needs to stop. The word is, has been, and ever more shall be, "anyway." Not plural.

Thank you and you're welcome.

Rivenbark is the author of "Rude Bitches Make Me Tired." Visit www. celiarivenbark.com.

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May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 11

Brain Matters by Karen Sullivan, Ph.D. ABPP

Depression and anxiety hurt memory

W

hen we think about depression and anxiety, we often have an image of someone who struggles with feeling sad more often than not and is overly worried.

However, some of the hallmark symptoms of depression include difficulty with memory, concentration and making decisions. This may be related to a decrease in the frontal lobe's ability to process the neurotransmitter serotonin.

Further, depression also affects memory by causing us to focus on negative and disappointing experiences that leave us not paying attention to the big picture. Similarly, different types of anxiety, including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, can also interfere with attention and concentration because we are focused on looking out for threats to our well-being, making it much harder to learn and remember new information. Worrying about your cognitive abilities when you have depression or anxiety creates a vicious cycle, as your worries about “losing your mind” can make you more depressed or anxious, which, in turn, makes your memory and concentration worse.

In your daily life, you may forget names of new people and appointments, misplace your keys and need to make lists for shopping and errands. These symptoms can interfere with your functioning at work or school, maintaining home responsibilities and personal relationships. The cognitive symptoms of depression and anxiety are not likely to be permanent and are expected to reverse and improve with successful treatment of your mood symptoms.

Options for professional treatment ● Psychotherapy - Therapy, individual and group, has been shown to be effective in improving the symptoms of depression and anxiety. Individual psychotherapy can be tailored to your specific needs. A variety of psychological treatments have been developed that have been shown to be at least as effective as antidepressant medications in treating symptoms of depression and anxiety. Your primary care physician can place a referral for psychotherapy. ● Medication - In some cases, medication may be recommended in order to alleviate symptoms and to allow you to benefit from psychotherapy. The combination of therapy and medication treatment tends to produce the biggest improvements.

12 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

How to help yourself ● Exercise - In addition to the numerous physical health benefits of exercise, there are many psychological and cognitive benefits as well. This can be particularly beneficial for treating the low energy in those living with depression.

Consistent cardiovascular exercise is thought to be the most helpful for mood symptoms. ● Sleep - Quality sleep is critical for mood and memory.

The most recent research states that we need at least eight to nine uninterrupted hours of sleep per night. ● Activities - People who are depressed or anxious often stop engaging in activities that they enjoy, which can have an additional negative effect on mood. It is recommended that you set aside time in your schedule to engage in activities you used to enjoy like taking a walk, spending time outdoors, reading, seeing a movie, spending time with friends and family, listening to music or volunteering. This can be difficult when you just don’t feel like it, but after even just one or two times, you will feel a big difference. ● Daily structure Maintaining a regular schedule is recommended, such as scheduling activities and setting regular sleep/wake times. ● Tension reduction techniques - Anxiety is related to chronic tension in the body, which can lead to cognitive difficulties. Use of tension reduction techniques can break this cycle. Abdominal breathing (i.e., breathing from the depths of your abdomen) can be very helpful. Try this when you need to feel more relaxed: Inhale through your nose, slowly, until the breath reaches your abdomen, to a count of 5. Release, exhaling from your nose or mouth to a count of 10. You can place your hand on your stomach, and if you’re doing this correctly, your hand will actually rise and fall with each breath. Try to concentrate on your breathing, and clear your mind of anything else if you can.

Keep this up for three to five minutes, and do it as often as you can, when you wake up, throughout the day and before you go to sleep.

Sullivan, Ph.D. ABPP, a board certified clinical neuropsychologist, licensed psychologist and owner of Pinehurst Neuropsychology, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com.

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2014

Pottery Crawl

Northern Moore Family Resource Center Fourth Annual Pottery Crawl Saturday, May 10, 2014 11 am - 5 pm Spend an afternoon touring the beautiful countryside of Northern Moore County while visiting 12 of Seagrove’s finest potteries. Meet the potters and watch as they demonstrate techniques of the art of pottery while enjoying delicious culinary delights and wines.

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May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 13

Cooking Simple

by Rhett Morris

Ingredients Zest from 6 lemons 2 cups lemon juice 1 cup softened butter 4 cups sugar 8 eggs

Directions STEP 1 Cream butter and sugar until well blended.

Add eggs one at a time. Gradually add lemon juice and zest.

STEP 2 Microwave method: Microwave at high for 5 minutes stirring in 1 minute intervals.

Microwave stirring at 30-second intervals for 1 or 2 more minutes or until mixture thickens.

Stove top method: In a saucepan, cook over medium-low heat, whisking constantly, for 16 minutes.

STEP 3 Pour into pastry bag and cool.

Ingredients Lemon curd 4 thin slices of cake (any type of cake) Freshly sliced strawberries

Directions On one slice of cake, add a layer of the strawberries followed by a layer of the lemon curd. Add a second slice of cake followed by another layer of strawberries and lemon curd.

Enjoy! Makes two servings.

Keep refrigerated for up to two weeks.

Yields 4 cups.

Morris, owner of Rhett's Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering, can be reached at 910-695-3663 or rhett@ rhettsrpcc.com.

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14 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

Sentimental Journey

by Jennifer Pollard

Magic of a melody

S

ometimes, in the middle of a difficult situation, something happens to help make it all right. Growing older and needing help is not the easiest place for a person to be, but it is an honor to be there and help to make the transition as easy as possible. While sitting with the client, family and a new caregiver, we started brainstorming possible activities he might enjoy doing again, now that he had someone to help him. He talked of the garden that needing tending to, a church service he was hoping to attend and a group of friends he enjoyed performing music with that hadn’t gotten together in awhile.

“If you can find me a piano player that will play for nothing, that would help a lot,” he said.

I wasn’t sure I could come up with a free piano player for him at short notice.

“That’s OK, with the rate all my friends are dying, I’m not sure how many of us could still get together,” he said.

Getting older can get in the way of a good music get together. The caregiver and I were willing to participate in an impromptu sing-a-long. He offered his old tattered song book the group used for its gigs. He flipped through the binder through familiar hymns and gospel tunes, announcing sometimes a favorite song to sing the bass line on or a memory from an earlier time. He settled on a tune we all knew, “In the Garden," and a perfect choice for spring. From the man who seemed frail came a rich bass voice.

“I come to the garden alone, While the dew is still on the roses, And the voice I hear falling on my ear The Son of God discloses.

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And He walks with me, and He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own; And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known.

For that one moment, the clock hands turned backwards.

He was young again, and all was right with the world. Yes, an old familiar song and faith can do just that.

Share your musical memories with Pollard by emailing jenniferp@aoscaremanagement.com.

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 15

Spirituality

by Karla Anderson

A beautiful journey

W

hen you think of May, Mother’s Day and graduation come to mind. There may be a connection between the two.

The celebration of graduation day and putting all that hard work and study behind is a freedom belonging to the diligent student. Almost simultaneously, a slight dread dampens the mood with its uncertainty of the future and fear of failure.

As difficult as schooling was, at least it was familiar.

Now what?

Graduates aren’t the only ones who experience this dichotomy of emotion—their mothers do, too.

One day, their precious baby is safe in their arms, and in a blink of an eye, it seems, they wave goodbye to their son or daughter who is embarking on a new journey. She thinks, “As difficult and all consuming as it was to be a good parent, at least it was familiar.

Now what?”

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www.WellenerDental.com 16 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

“He has made everything beautiful in its own time."

Ecclesiastes 3:11 And so it is. Each stage of life that we journey through has its trials and triumphs, but it’s bittersweet to see the familiar pass. Yet, we discover that the next stage has a beauty all its own, almost like the stages that a caterpillar passes through until it becomes a butterfly.

Each new stage of life carries with it an uncertainty, but we need not fear or dread it. The wise will take full advantage of the beauty they can offer at every season of their life. God made it that way. So spread your wings and fly into the unknown like the butterfly because God has made everything beautiful in its own time.

Anderson is publisher of Senior Living Guide™ and teaches home-based Bible studies. Anderson’s newly-released book, “Did God Forsake Jesus on the Cross?” is available on Amazon. She can be reached at 919-807-9169 or kanderson@seniorlivingguide.com.

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foxhollowseniorliving.com May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 17

Happiness by Henry S. Miller

Why happiness matters

A

lthough some would have you think otherwise, the uniquely human pursuit of happiness is not merely some frivolous idle-time activity for the fortunate few. Far from it. Instead, it is a serious pursuit—a duty and responsibility for each of us.

As the progress—or lack thereof—of human evolution has demonstrated, being in a positive, optimistic and happy frame of mind seems to be what allows some humans to be more successful than others in obtaining life’s essentials: food, shelter, social support and even a mate. So it has always been and so it continues today.

And if you still doubt the seriousness of pursuing a happier life, consider your loved ones. Fulfilling the duty of being happy benefits not just yourself but also those closest to you.

THE BENEFITS Most of the benefits of living a happier life are familiar, yet they are powerful and seemingly endless— and they far outweigh the costs and work needed to achieve this state. As a reminder to us all, here is a consensus of what researchers around the world have found to result from simply being happy: Success. Overall, happy people are more successful across multiple major domains of life, including work, social relationships, income and health. In this way, happiness becomes an even more worthwhile pursuit, both as a desirable end in and of itself and as a means to achieve other significant life goals.

Personality. Happy people more frequently exhibit characteristics such as being strikingly energetic, decisive

18 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

and flexible. They are more creative, more helpful to those in need, more self-confident, more forgiving, more charitable, more sociable and more loving. Compared to unhappy people, happier people are more trusting, more loving, and more responsive.

They have greater self-control, can tolerate frustration better, are less likely to be abusive, are more lenient and demonstrate enhanced coping skills.

Socially. Happy people have more friends, richer social interactions, correspondingly stronger social support and experience longer and more satisfying marriages.

Work. In addition to bringing all their positive personal attributes to work, happy people have been proved to be more likely to perform better, achieve greater productivity and deliver a higher quality work product.

They tend to receive a higher income as a result.

Physical Health. Happy people experience less pain, are often in better health, are more active with more energy and even, not surprisingly, live longer. They have lower stress levels and stronger immune systems that fight disease more effectively. By comparison, stressed and depressed people are more vulnerable to illnesses.

Mental Health. Happy individuals construe daily situations and major life events in relatively more positive and more adaptive ways that seem to reinforce their happiness. They are also less likely to exaggerate any criticism, however slight, that they may receive, as opposed to unhappy individuals, who react to life experiences in negative ways that only reinforce their unhappiness.

WHAT'S AT STAKE? Trust and believe that you are worthy enough to prioritize and focus your time and energy on living a happier life. First and foremost, you owe it to yourself. You also owe it to those around you: your spouse, your parents, your children, your friends and acquaintances and coworkers and colleagues. Realize that because happiness has been demonstrated to be contagious, your individual happiness can affect not only you and those closest to you but also those living nearby. Individual happiness matters much more—and can have a much more extensive impact—than ever realized before.

Finally, recall your childhood: groups of children playing, exploring, curious about everything, giggling in wonderment. Compare that picture to a group of typical adults commuting in cars or trains or buses or subways: dull faces gazing straight ahead, emotionless. What have they lost?

When did they lose it? And can they get it back?

Remember that one day, you will be sitting in that proverbial rocking chair on some front porch or veranda, maybe overlooking the ocean, and a stranger will sit beside you and ask: “So, what did you do in your life?”

What will you say? The stakes are high. The price of unhappiness is steep. And life is short.

Miller is the author of "The Serious Pursuit of Happiness" as well as a speaker, trainer and consultant. For more information, visit www.theseriouspursuitofhappiness.com.

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May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 19

Game On by Thad Mumau

Ladies take to Pinehurst No. 2

W

hen the U.S. Women's Open Golf Championship Open win was in 1964, Rawls' in 1960. Sorenstam, Babe returns to the Sandhills in June, it will do so with Zaharias, Susie Berning and Hollis Stacy won three apiece. a touch of history. The tournament's June 19-22 run at Sorenstam is the only non-American of those six golfers.

Pinehurst No. 2 follows the men's U.S. Open, marking The United States dominated the Women's Open in the the first time that the two Opens have been played on the early going, with Americans winning the first nine, 20 of same course in the same year. the first 21 and 35 of 37.

The famed No. 2 is hosting the Women's Open for the Things have changed in recent years. South Korean first time, but the event has been in the area three times women have won five of the last six Opens and seven overall. before, all at Pine Needles Inbee Park of South Lodge and Golf Club in Korea is the defending U.S. Southern Pines.

Women's Open champion That happened most after winning last year at recently in 2007, when Southampton, N.Y. It was Cristie Kerr finished five Park's second Open trophy. under par to defeat runnersShe also won in 2008 at the up Lorena Ochoa and age of 19, as she became Angela Park by two shots. the youngest U.S. Women's Pine Needles first hosted Open winner in the history the U.S. Women's Open of the tournament. in 1996, with Sweden's This year's purse is Annika Sorenstam coming $3,250,000, with $585,000 out on top. In 2001, Karrie going to the winner. Berg Webb of Australia won at took home $5,600 when Pine Needles. The victories she won the first Open in at Southern Pines gave both 1946. The total payout then This year's purse is $3,250,000, with $585,000 going Sorenstam and Webb backwas $19,700. to the winner. Patty Berg (above, left) took home to-back U.S. Open trophies.

Other than this year and $5,600 when she won the first Open in 1946.

When Sorenstam, who the three tournaments The total payout then was $19,700. finished eight under par at Pine Needles, the U.S. for the tourney, bested Kris Women's Open has been Tschetter by six strokes in 1996 at Pine Needles, it was her held one other time in North Carolina. That was in 1947, second of 10 majors wins. when Betty Jameson won at Greensboro after having lost, Webb's seven-under showing in 2001 was eight shots five and four, to Berg the previous year. better than South Korea's Se Ri Pak. It was the fifth of The lowest Women's Open score was posted by Juli Webb's seven majors victories and was the last time there Inkster when she finished 16 under par in 1999. Her have been back-to-back Open winners.

272 that year gives Inkster a share of the lowest Open The U.S. Open, established in 1946, is the oldest of the aggregate score for 72 holes at 272 with Sorenstam, who five women's majors. The others are the Kraft Nabisco did it at Pine Needles in 1996.

Championship, the LPGA Championship, the British Catherine Lacoste of France is the only amateur to win Open and the Evian Championship. the U.S. Women's Open. She won in 1967.

Patty Berg won the inaugural U.S. Women's Open in Spokane, Wash. The tournament employed match-play Email Mumau at rutabega12@aol.com. format that year. It has been stroke play ever since.

Mickey Wright and Betsy Rawls share the all-time lead in U.S. Women's Open victories with four each. Wright's last

20 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

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www.CoteTimeworks.com Prior to the USGA taking over administration of the U.S. Women’s Open in 1953, champions received a trophy donated by the Spokane Athletic Round Table, a fraternal order. The USGA declined the group’s offer to continue sponsorship and instead provided a sterling silver, two-handled trophy produced by the silversmith J. E. Caldwell and Co. of Philadelphia. The U.S. Women’s Open Championship Trophy was first presented in 1953 to Betsy Rawls at the Country Club of Rochester, N.Y. The original trophy was replicated in July 1992 by the family and friends of longtime USGA Committeeman Harton S. Semple, who served as USGA president from 1973 to 1974. The Harton S. Semple Trophy was first presented to Patty Sheehan at Oakmont Country Club in 1992, when the original trophy was retired to Golf House.

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www.RhettsRPCC.com 22 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

Hospital Health

Physician assistants join area clinics SANFORD Certified physician assistant Philip S. Perrotta began offering pain management services at the Perrotta FirstHealth Back and Neck Pain program in Sanford in April. He also sees patients at FirstHealth’s Back and Neck Pain office in Pinehurst.

Perrotta received his bachelor of medical science degree in 1999 from Alderson-Broaddus College in Phillippi, W.V., where he earned his master of science in medical science with an emphasis in surgery in 2002.

He is certified by the American Academy of Physician Assistants.

FirstHealth Back and Neck Pain is located at 1227 Carthage St. in Sanford. For more information, call 919-774-0665.

RAEFORD Certified physician assistant Andrea Lynn Burns began offering pain management services at the FirstHealth Back and Burns Neck Pain program in Raeford in April. She also sees patients at FirstHealth’s Back and Neck Pain clinic in Pinehurst.

Burns received a B.A. degree in psychology from the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Va., in 1987 and a B.S. in physician assistant studies from Hahnemann University in Philadelphia, Pa., in 1991.

She was previously employed as a

certified physician assistant in the Department of Orthopaedic Surgery at Pinehurst Surgical. She is certified by the American College of Physician Assistants.

FirstHealth Back and Neck Pain is located in the FirstHealth Physician Offices and Specialty Center at 4565 Fayetteville Road, Raeford (adjacent to FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital-Hoke Campus). For more information, call 910-715-1794.

PINEHURST Kr ist a M. Tannery joined the FirstHealth Back and Neck Pain program in Pinehurst as a certified physician assistant last month.

Tannery Tannery received a bachelor’s degree in clinical health services with a physician assistant certificate from the MEDEX Northwest Physician Assistant Program at the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle in 2009. In 2012, she earned a master of science in physician assistant studies from the Physician Assistant Completion Program at Pace University in New York, N.Y. She previously served as a certified physician assistant in the Hospitalist Service at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital. She is certified by the American College of Physician Assistants.

FirstHealth Back and Neck Pain is located in the FirstHealth Specialty Centers Building at the corner of Page Road and Memorial Drive in Pinehurst. For more information, call 910-715-1794.

Senior Moments by Barb Cohea

Taking one for my team

T

Rehab was brutal, but I "womaned" up and made it. Until Jan. 28, 1990 and Super Bowl XXIV (24). Same thing, different decade. I was all set. The San Francisco 49ers met the Denver Broncos. Louisiana Superdome, again. The 49ers showed up ready to rumble, and the Broncos showed up ready to fumble. Which they did, along with being intercepted, many times. The biggest point differential in Super Bowl history (45). The biggest number of players crying during a single game (the entire Bronco defense and offense). Blah, blah.

I made it to the third quarter before the sofa threw me off. Joe Montana’s pump fake making the score 41-3 was responsible.

More rehab. Then came Feb. 2, 2014. Denver Broncos vs. the Seattle Seahawks. Not played in the Louisiana Superdome. Another Bronco game so I reverse-engineered my preferred position. My left side was closest to the coffee table. Not a chance I could fall on the right rotator cuff.

It was the Seahawks quickest score in Super Bowl history, a safety on the first play from scrimmage, that did it. I bolted upright, lost my popcorn, spun in the air, bypassed my left arm and fell on my right rotator cuff kawa-bungling it for the third time.

If the Broncos ever go to the Super Bowl again, I’ll be watching from a Barcalounger tied in with rope, wearing shoulder pads and surrounded by 4-inch thick upholstery foam cushions . . . just in case.

Pay Your Bill Online

his has not been a good spring. First, it hasn’t come.

Actually, it came and went, and came and went, again. Repeatedly.

Second, I’ve been laid up with an old football injury ever since Super Bowl XLVIII (48 for the Roman numeral challenged), which I call the continuing saga of the Broncos meet anybody else and get the nasal mucus knocked out of them. I would not care except the Broncos are the reason I got a football injury.

Scroll back to Jan. 15, 1978.

Super Bowl XII (12). The Dallas Cowboys showed up at the Louisiana Superdome ready to rumble and the Broncos showed up ready to . . . well, no one is sure. It was more like a "chick" fight between a raucous hot babe and a prissy old lady who didn’t want to break her nails.

OK, I don’t watch much football, but when I do, certain requirements must be met. I assume my football watching position, reclining on the sofa, legs stretched out, my back at precisely a 43.5-degree angle. The TV is located so that my head is not in any unnaturally contorted position. My large plastic bowl of butter-flavored popcorn must be on the coffee table fronting the sofa. And a chilled CocaCola (because ‘Coke Is It’) is placed to the left of the PPB (popcorn pig bowl).

So it was, right up until the fourth quarter when fullback Robert Newhouse executed a halfback option play and hurled a 29-yard pass for a touchdown. That’s when I spewed my "Co-cola," my legs flew up into the air, I fell off the sofa, pulled the pig bowl down on top of me and kawa-bungled my right shoulder’s rotator cuff big time. The Cowboys 27, the Broncos 10.

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For more humor, visit www.BarbaraCohea. com, or email her at barbaracohea@gmail. com.

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 23

Senior Shorts

Sylvia's Crossing by LFA Turppa

S

ylvia was, as usual (at least lately), overthinking her life.

Psychologists called it The Five Stages of Grief. Denial?

Check. Anger? Big check. Bargaining? Oh, if only... then, he would be experiencing these same things.

Depression? Perhaps she was in a tad bit of denial over that, too. As for the fifth step? Acceptance? She felt a long way from that.

She'd been with the man almost 50 years. She and Eddie had married straight out of school, before he'd gone to war. It was something that had been done in the day... marry your sweetheart before it's too late.

They'd exchanged letters nearly every week of the war, and she'd done her fair share of fighting at home.

Victory gardens, steel mills, factories, riveting (just like Rosie!)... if you named it, she had done it.

Not only did it help their boys overseas, it gave the women something to do other than worry. They became strong and independent; many women continued seeking work after the Big One, but Sylvia was more than happy to return home to raise a family with Eddie.

Together they had four children (a fifth had died shortly after birth).

In their life after the children had gone off to college and made something of themselves, seven grandchildren and one great-grandchild (she'd known that Marcie would be trouble one day) joined the family.

But Sylvia was lost. Aside from the occasional babysitting, she'd had nothing more to do. She'd devoted her entire life to her children. So she'd become involved in the church and the community: bake sales, charity drives, feeding and clothing the homeless and even supporting the military in war time. These were the things that they'd been constantly recognized for their efforts, and things Eddie gladly helped her with them. It became the norm.

Until Eddie got sick. It had started with a bit of weight loss; nothing to have been ashamed of, nor to be worried about. He always joked that it hadn't hurt him to lose a few pounds. But it got worse.

He wasn't eating. His appetite disappeared completely, and his bones began shoving against his yellowing skin.

The doctors were mystified. Here was a perfectly healthy male, suddenly so ill!

24 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

While there were certain factors that could have affected this cancer, it could hit anybody, at any time, for any reason. Overall, he'd been a smoker in good health.

They'd traced the source to the tumors that had been growing on his pancreas, which had then spread to the surrounding tissue. Who knew how long it had gone undiagnosed? He'd had back pain that he'd attributed to nothing more than years of working in factories and fighting on the front lines.

Sylvia assumed the role of caregiver, along with a home health nurse named Beth. She was determined to help him fight this. She'd stood by his side as he quit smoking, battled through the CT scans, the surgeries and the countless radiation and chemotherapy treatments.

She was there every step of the way. She'd held him when he ached and cried for his children, mopped his brow if he became too warm or developed a fever, fed him and bathed him. She brought him water when he requested it, and often forced it on him when he didn't.

She attempted to keep him as comfortable as possible... until the cancer had progressed so much that he'd needed to be hospitalized. Stage three. That had been only a year following the diagnosis; very few patients lived past five years.

While he was in hospital, he was taken very good care of, so her role had been minimized somewhat. That didn't stop her from trying, however.

In the times that she wasn't with him, Sylvia picked back up her duties in the community with a new added cause: raising awareness for this horrible killer by working with the Lustgarten Foundation, whose very mission statement invoked the kind of change and research she'd longed for. She'd read all the pamphlets, talked to all the doctors and witnessed it, first hand.

With the Lustgarten Foundation, she could donate more than just money. She could volunteer her time and learn more about pancreatic cancer.

Steve Jobs and Patrick Swayze were only two of its previous victims. Why claim another? Why claim anyone else, period?

There had to be more ways for early detection, better treatments and preventive measures. And now, she would be a part of it.

CONTINUED PAGE 26

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24

She became strong and independent again. And just like World War II, her husband was back in the front lines, fighting off the enemy while she stayed behind, taking on the homefront. She visited him for hours every day, often sleeping by his bedside.

As they had when Eddie was kept at home, the congregation of her church, and those she helped, kept prayer circles and casseroles running through his room.

Attempts to pay it forward, Sylvia had guessed.

But in the end, it didn't matter. None of the prayers had worked. Maybe not necessarily because God hadn't listened, but maybe He had. Maybe His plan was to stop Eddie's pain, once and for all and to end the suffering of his loved ones.

Sylvia choked back a sob as she stared down upon her husband, lying inside the silk-lined casket before her.

Marcie, the so-called "trouble-maker" of the family, was at her elbow, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

"Come on, Nana," she cooed. "Come sit by me and Lucy."

Sylvia allowed her granddaughter to lead her to the first row of chairs where a bright, blonde-haired girl awaited her with a small, sad smile, as if she held a secret.

As they sat, the girl, Lucy, tightly clasped her hand. She lifted up slightly to whisper into her ear, "Don't worry Gigi... PawPaw's happy... He's safe now."

She completed the interaction with a kiss as soft as a butterfly's wings on Sylvia's worn cheek.

While this sentiment brought her great comfort, it also caused her to weep that much harder.

"Oh, Eddie," she wailed softly. "What will I do without you now?"

••••• As time passed, and as Sylvia did her good deeds and pushed hard for pancreatic cancer awareness, she found out something she'd never thought she'd find.

While she still struggled with her depression, she'd found that while working with the Lustgarten Foundation and offering help and assistance to those afflicted with the same cancer that had claimed her beloved Eddie's life, she had also experienced the last stage of grief.

Acceptance? Enormous check.

Turppa grew up in the Triangle, and has been writing since she was young.

Turppa’s published novels are available online through Amazon.com.

26 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

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Pan Seared Halibut with Orange, Crab and Mint INGREDIENTS

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2 6 oz. halibut fillets 1 lb. jumbo lump crabmeat 1 naval orange, in segments 4 mint leaves, thinly-sliced 2 teaspoons Wondra flour ½ stick butter ½ cup breadcrumbs 1 shallot, peeled and minced juice of 1 orange 1 tablespoon olive oil

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix crabmeat, orange segments, mint, orange juice, salt and pepper in a small bowl and set aside. Dry fish, season with salt and pepper then dredge in Wondra on one side. Heat olive oil in non-stick pan to medium high. Put fish flour-side down and sear until golden. Turn over onto oven safe dish.

Rinse and dry pan. Melt butter on medium heat, add shallots and sauté for 5 minutes. Mix in breadcrumbs.

Top each fillet with crab mixture, then breadcrumbs, and bake for 10-12 minutes. Serve with sautéed seasonal vegetables and rice if desired. Makes two servings.

Seay, chef at Whisk Carolina in Cary, can be reached at 919-322-2458 or www.whiskcarolina.com.

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May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 29

Writing After Retirement by Ed Glassman Overcoming writer's block

W

riting creates order from disorder and sharpens the mind. The fuzziness of thinking becomes concrete when written; small lapses of memory disappear.

The creativity of writing also disappears with too much early evaluation. When my writing chokes, I assume that excessive evaluation stalks me, and I apply several approaches that pull me out of my state.

The first approach I call “nonevaluative listing.” I list all the ideas I can think of about what I want to write or do in the next year: no evaluation; no hesitation; no consideration of grammar, sentences, paragraphs; disconnected phrases will do; I allow repetition. After a while, my writer’s block lessens.

If not, I switch to the next approach: “automatic writing,” an antidote to writer’s block. I sit quietly alone, not planning any ideas ahead of time, writing all my thoughts on paper, forgetting correct grammar and complete sentences; incomplete phrases will do. I do not worry about paragraphs and do not evaluate what I write, suspending orderly thoughts and not holding back. I let my thoughts flow directly to the paper

through my pen or pencil.

Have you gotten the idea yet? What you write does not even have to fit the topic. That boxes you in and makes you measure every thought against the topic. If you do not write, assume you evaluate too much. Write: "I do have something to write" until you have something to write, and then write, write, write. Remember, no one will see what you write.

I wrote the first draft of my books and subsequent added sections using automatic writing, which I use to overcome obstacles to my writing, allowing interesting ideas to emerge.

I use another effective approach before I start a column or a chapter. I write the ideas I want to include on index cards, one idea per card. I then sort the cards in the order I want. I use these cards as an outline to help me write.

In addition, to minimize my writer’s block, I personalize my writing environment; I suggest you do, too.

Surround yourself with the triggers that help stimulate your writing juices.

For example, some people respond to music, while others need absolute quiet when writing. Some people prefer sharpened pencils, a cleared desk, a disorderly room, quiet, music,

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or noise. A writer of Jackie Gleason's TV show claimed his most creative writing moments occurred in the bathroom.

I stay more productive if I write in bed when I wake up before interacting with other people.

One person told me that he gets his best writing ideas in the middle of the night. To make sure he captures these ideas, he has a small light, pen and paper next to his bed so he can write them down. This concept of helping the best writing ideas to emerge works for me and others, too; some people while driving a car; some while taking a shower or a bath; some shortly after waking in the morning; some walking in nature.

Interestingly enough, I got the idea to write this column at a local art opening reception discussing my retirement with a friend facing his own retirement. I shall certainly attend more art opening receptions in the future, looking for more writing ideas.

Glassman, author of “Creativity Triggers Are For Everyone,” can be reached at 910-7251955 or email 2glsmn@ gmail.com.

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High-intensity interval training is another great way to keep things fresh and exciting and has been named the No. 1 fitness trend for 2014.

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AT 50

By KATHY GRANT WESTBROOK | Special to OutreachNC

B

elieve it or not, I approached my 50th birthday with greater anticipation than I did my 16th. In the weeks and months leading up to this milestone, I wasn’t lamenting lost youth, missed opportunities or crows’ feet, but rather champing at the bit to get started on the “50 at 50 Birthday Challenge” I’d issued to myself. Let me explain: On Feb. 15, 2011, I celebrated my 49th birthday by doing something I had never done before: I went indoor skydiving—and I had such a blast that by mid-July of that year, I was already racking my brain trying to figure out what new adventure I could plan for my 50th. Since 50 would be a Big Birthday, I knew the Adventure would have to be equally big.

I toyed with the idea of climbing Mount Everest; that would certainly be a big, new adventure—but I nixed that idea when I realized that it would require a huge financial investment I just didn’t have.

32 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

(Yeah, lack of funding— that’s why I didn’t scale Everest. That—along with my affinity for indoor plumbing and comfortable sleeping conditions, and my aversion to altitude sickness, sub-zero temperatures, frostbite, and yaks. Just kidding; I’m cool with yaks.)

So I continued racking my brain. My adventure had to be big, but not so big that I couldn’t afford it money-wise (I’m not wealthy) or time-wise (I work for a living and have a house to clean and laundry that refuses to do itself). I wanted to step outside my comfort zone, but had no interest in wallowing in a zone of abject misery (see altitude sickness and frostbite, above). Mostly, I wanted to greet the dawning of my 51st year with joy and enthusiasm.

And the way I finally decided to do that was by forgoing one Big Adventure in favor of 50 small adventures, beginning on my birthday and continuing, one a day, for the next 49 days.

I defined “adventure,” quite simply, as something I had never done before. It could be as simple as visiting a state park, historic site, or smalltown theater I’d never before visited, trying a new recipe (and, as my friends and family will attest, pretty much any recipe is new to me), or having lunch in a restaurant in which I had never before dined. Or, it could be as challenging as forcing my ophidiophobiaself to face the object of my fear (revelation: pythons are surprisingly smooth to the touch), or mustering every bit of musical talent in my body (I don’t know what units are used to measure musical talent, but my measurement would certainly begin with the prefix “nano”) to learn to play a song on the autoharp. You see, even though I appreciate the routines in my life for the sense of comfort and stability they bring, it’s when I break free from these routines that I am at my most enthusiastic.

CONTINUED PAGE 34

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1

AT 50

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 32

Indeed, every single day, without fail, during my “50/50," I woke up charged with enthusiasm, despite the fact that oftentimes I had no idea what that day’s adventure would be! (Sure, I penciled in some activities days or weeks in advance, but I shied away from too much pre-planning, as I knew that February’s unpredictable weather would have the potential to turn my plans upside down in an instant!)

Going into my challenge, I knew it would be, well, challenging. I knew it would take all of the commitment and creativity I could muster, not to mention the cooperation of those closest to me (shout out to my husband, my mom and my sister!).

Sure enough, there were days when the gods of adventure all seemed to conspire against me—those were the days when my “adventures” were of the modest sort (am I the only person in the United States to have reached the age of 50 without ever having drunk a cup of coffee?).

Other days, the gods smiled upon me and I found myself riding in the sidecar of a vintage motorcycle in Maggie Valley, breezing through downtown Wilmington on a Segway, applauding wildly at an Elton John concert in Raleigh, and drinking from the Fountain of Youth in St. Augustine. After successfully completing my “50/50,” I created an iPhoto book chronicling my experiences, day by day, so I would always have a memento of my birthday celebration.

34 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

Of course, my desire for new adventures—both big and small—didn’t end on the last day of my challenge. I’m always on the lookout for opportunities to shake up my routine, and some of the ways I’ve managed to do so since my “50/50” have included: stumbling my way through Zumba, wandering through a corn maze, discovering the healing powers of acupuncture, and exploring the great state of Alaska. And who knows what’s next—I may tackle another new recipe or I may go zip lining; one would nudge me out of my comfort zone, the other would catapult me out. Either way, I’d exit my comfort zone with a sense of joy and enthusiasm—and that’s what life’s all about!

2

1. M y husband Steve and I taking a Segway tour in Wilmington.

2. H owell Woods Environmental Learning Center is located only a few miles from my home in Four Oaks. My 50/50 Challenge gave me an excuse to finally visit.

3

3. I don't own an RV and probably never will; nevertheless, I have always found them fascinating— therefore, I had a ball when I went to the RV show in Raleigh.

4. I 've been an Elton John fan since my teens—as you can see by the expression on my face, I was excited to finally attend one of his concerts.

4

5. M y sister, Deb, right, and I in St. Augustine, Fla. What better way to celebrate turning 50 than by drinking from the Fountain of Youth?

5

A little known program with big impact

ombudsmEn protect residents' rights

By ANN ROBSON, Special to OutreachNC | Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

W

hen a family places its trust in a nursing facility, they expect their loved one will receive the best care available. Sometimes there are glitches in the system and the person in care may need extra help. The state’s ombudsman program does just that: gives residents and their families a voice to address problems, large or small.

The word ombudsman is often misunderstood. The Oxford dictionary defines an ombudsman as someone officially appointed to address complaints about mistakes in management. In North Carolina, Community Advisory Committees (CAC) are appointed to visit facilities and advocate for the residents as to their rights and services.

“I can be a strange face with an odd title but a resident receiving a visit from a member of his or her community may help bridge the trust factor for that resident to reach out for assistance,” says Twilla Allen, regional long-term care ombudsman for the Lumber River regional council of governments.

“Since CAC members receive training on resident rights, they are able to educate residents and provide assistance,” she adds.

“CACs are legislated at the state level to work at the county level and are appointed by the county commissioners,” explains Michael Levandoski who chairs the Chatham County Joint CAC on Nursing, Adult Care and Family Care homes. In some counties, one CAC serves all facilities, while in other counties, there are separate committees for long-term care and nursing home facilities.

“The nursing home and adult/family care homes bills of rights are almost identical,” notes Levandoski. “CACs are important because we are mainly responsible for assuring that residents are receiving the quality of life benefits they are entitled to in the state’s ‘Resident Bill of Rights’ legislation," he adds.

Confidentiality is an important part of the CAC work.

Often family members, or residents, do not complain for fear of retaliation by the staff. Sometimes, there are a few residents who seem to complain about everything. All complaints are handled calmly and rationally by the CAC trying to mediate a comfortable solution. If complaints become major or are not easily addressed by a local CAC, the regional ombudsman may become involved.

Clif Lavenhouse, the Wake County CAC chair, reports that his group was able to “bring to the attention of the state violation of residents’ rights that resulted in closing a facility.”

Another accomplishment was getting a program of personalized music implemented for individuals with dementia.

“This (music) initiative is about bringing joy and wellbeing into the lives of people suffering from dementia and a wide range of cognitive impairments,” Lavenhouse says.

Similar music programs have been introduced in other regions of the state, including Chatham County.

Building trust between residents and CAC members is important to the success of the ombudsman program.

When that trust is present, residents and their loved ones feel more comfortable in discussing their living situations.

“Residents can experience a sense of loss of place and connection to their greater community when they enter a long-term care facility,” notes Allen. “The CACs serve as an extension of the community in being a familiar face for many residents.”

Barbara Venditti, chair of the Moore County CAC, encourages community members to consider taking an active role with their local committees. Contacting the county office for information is a first step. Meetings are held regularly, monthly or quarterly, and volunteers are always in need.

“Sometimes, we are the only visitor a resident sees,” adds Levandoski. “For that alone, CACs are important.”

CONTINUED PAGE 36

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 35

ombudsman CONTINUED FROM PAGE 35

All Community Advisory Committees hold regular meetings. Most are monthly or quarterly and open to the public depending upon the subject matter. When sensitive issues about specific issues are discussed, the CAC may decide to hold a closed session. Dates and time may vary. Check with the ombudsman office for your county to find out more about volunteering in your local community.

CHATHAM COUNTY CAC Monthly, third Monday, 4:30-6 p.m., Department of Social Services, Pittsboro. Contact Triangle J Council of Governments at 800-310-9777 or www.tjcog.org.

CUMBERLAND COUNTY CAC Quarterly, dates and times vary. Contact the MidCarolina Council of Governments at 910-323-4191, ext. 25 and 27, or www.mccog.org.

DURHAM COUNTY NURSING HOME CAC Monthly, except August and December; 5:30-7 p.m., Durham Center for Senior Life, Durham. Contact Triangle J Council of Governments at 800-310-9777 or www.tjcog.org.

DURHAM COUNTY ADULT CARE HOME CAC Monthly, except August, third Tuesday, 9-10:30 a.m., Durham Center for Senior Life, Durham. Contact Triangle J Council of Governments at 800-310-9777 or www.tjcog.org.

HOKE COUNTY JOINT CAC Second Monday of quarter, 6:30 p.m., Autumn Care of Raeford. Contact Lumber River Council of Governments at 866-582-4251 or www.lumberrivercog.org.

LEE COUNTY JOINT CAC First and third Monday of quarter, 9:30 a.m., Lee County Enrichment Center, Sanford. Contact Triangle J Council of Governments at 800-310-9777 or www.tjcog.org.

MONTGOMERY COUNTY PLANNING SERVICES Monthly, except July and December. Second Monday, 10:30 a.m., Montgomery County Cooperative Extension, 203 W. Main St., Troy. Contact Teresa Jackson at Piedmont Triad Regional Council at 336904-0300 or www.ptrc.org.

MOORE COUNTY JOINT CAC Quarterly, first Tuesday, 10 a.m., March, June, September, December, Moore County Senior Enrichment Center. Next meeting is Wednesday, June 3 with a discussion about dementia and other related conditions, including Alzheimer’s disease.

Dr. Karen Sullivan, a clinical neuropsychologist is the featured speaker. Christie Engelfried, a clinical social worker, will speak about facilitating dementia

36 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

Moore County CAC chair Barbara Venditti speaks with Fox Hollow Senior Living resident Ray Bower during a recent visit to the facility. support groups. Contact Barbara Venditti at 910295-4081, or Triangle J Council of Governments at 800-310-9777 or visit www.tjcog.org.

RICHMOND COUNTY NURSING HOME CAC Second Wednesday of quarter, 12 p.m., Rockingham Manor. Contact Lumber River Council of Governments at 866-582-4251 or visit www.lumberrivercog.org.

RICHMOND COUNTY ADULT CARE HOME CAC Monthly and unannounced. Contact the Lumber River Council of Governments at 866-582-4251 or visit www.lumberrivercog.org.

ROBESON COUNTY NURSING HOME CAC First Monday of quarter, 4:30 p.m., Woodhaven Nursing.

Contact the Lumber River Council of Governments at 866-582-4251 or visit www.lumberrivercog.org.

ROBESON COUNTY ADULT CARE HOME Monthly and unannounced. Contact the Lumber River Council of Governments at 866-582-4251 or www.lumberrivercog.org.

SCOTLAND COUNTY NURSING HOME CAC Fourth Tuesday of quarter, 4 p.m., Edwin Morgan Center. Contact Lumber River Council of Governments at 866-582-4251 or www.lumberrivercog.org.

SCOTLAND COUNTY ADULT CARE HOME CAC Monthly and unannounced. Contact the Lumber River Council of Governments at 866-582-4251 or www.lumberrivercog.org.

WAKE NURSING HOME CAC Monthly, second Monday, 6:30 p.m., Wake Human Services, Swinburne. Contact Triangle J Council of Governments at 800-310-9777 or www.tjcog.org.

WAKE ADULT CARE CAC Monthly, fourth Thursday; and twice per quarter, 3:30 p.m. Five Points Center for Active Adults, Raleigh.

Contact Triangle J Council of Governments at 800310-9777 or www.tjcog.org.

A TOUR OF MARIETTA GARDENS FA I R M O N T, N O R T H C A R O L I N A

By CARRIE FRYE | Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

A

sea of green fields is about to burst with color as the daylilies of Marietta Gardens in Fairmont bloom this month through June. It is a breathtaking sight that many travelers happen upon driving along N.C. 904 making their way to the beach, but it is simply home to John and Faye Shooter.

“I lived here all my life,” says Faye, looking out over the Robeson County land her father Robert Oliver farmed that has been in her family for four generations.

This fertile North Carolina soil has produced tobacco, soybeans, vegetables and seven acres of prized daylilies.

“I grew up here, and I just have the best memories.

My very best friendships have come from this farm,” says Faye, “so many friends have helped us along the way.”

Named for the town of Marietta, whose town limit sign can be seen from the garden, a picturesque cabinstyled building complete with a wide front porch and rocking chairs sits at the entrance. It is surrounded by row after row of daylilies, all meticulously and methodically tagged and identified.

“It’s a love of hybridizing,” John says of the perennials.

“I used to have greenhouses and grew orchids, and then I bought lilies all over the U.S.” Now, novice and master gardeners alike place orders for daylilies grown here. As one of the first daylily farms to have a website with online ordering capabilities, customers from all over the U.S. as well as England, Germany, Japan, Canada and Poland are purchasing and planting North Carolina daylilies.

“Our main business is mail order,” says Faye, pointing to the stacks of Priority Mail boxes ready and waiting for the next order to come in.

In the garden, both John and Faye work the rows one by one. Cutting apart the plants with his trusty garden knife, John carefully removes any dead foliage.

“It’s important not to let any of the brown foliage get back into the ground,” says John, sharing one of his many daylily growing secrets.

One secret that isn’t really a secret is how labor intensive caring for the lilies is, from weeding, fertilizing, packaging and shipping plants to customers and working in the fields to repairing irrigation piping.

“We work every day, because there is always something to do, but I do love digging with my hands.

38 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

One day, I just realized how pretty the lilies are,” says John, smiling and gently examining the plants. “My favorite one is the one I haven’t seen. I always like seeing the new varieties.”

Like anything homegrown, weather plays a role in the day-to-day work of the massive garden.

“This winter has been rough,” says John, who stays especially busy in March, April and May planting thousands of varieties, readying for the blooming season. The fall, September through November, brings another season of planting. Most all of the daylilies have been in the ground for two years or more.

One section of the garden is devoted to John’s breeding area, where all of the plants are specifically numbered and marked.

“These are the seedlings that will be introduced next year,” he says. “I bring in new stuff to breed continuously to keep vigor in the plants. I only put in the best here, and there are endless combinations.”

The varieties are truly endless but once created are named and differ in color, shape, size and presentation.

Naming the daylilies has also been a family affair between the couple and their daughter Elizabeth.

There are some special new varieties making their debut for 2014. Angels Abound, named by John, has large and bellowing petals with layers of pink and a rose halo with a green heart that becomes a clear yellow and sepals three shades lighter than the petals and ruffles with a cream golden edge. Vintage Merlot, named by Faye, is a midnight purple flower that has thick substance with a green heart that becomes yellow and ruffles that are delicate yet regal with a golden pencil thin edge. Butterfly Fandango, named by Elizabeth, is a lilac blush pink with white midribs with ruffles flowing and extending throughout the flower.

These and 15 other new breeds are all ready to pop with color this season.

“When you select new varieties, bud count and branching are important,” John explains, “so there’s vigor in the seedlings. I love to see new hybrids bloom and get three sets of blooms.”

John is also like a protective father over the seedlings.

“I will dig up a plant to get the weeds out, if I have to,” he says. “There’s a lot of people who have a passion to make money, but I don’t do this for the money, only for the love of doing it.”

Carolina blue sky and towering pecan trees highlight the landscape, while John drives down the rows on a golf cart loaded with his tools of the trade. Purple Martin birdhouses made of gourds are scattered on tall poles overlooking the garden welcoming the birds to sit a spell. The couple’s four cats also walk the rows looking for affection from the hand not tending to the plants. Deer, however, are uninvited guests because of their affection for eating the precious daylilies, so scarecrows are employed to keep them away.

The welcome sign is always out for visitors to the garden, especially during blooming season, John and Faye’s favorite time of year, when their toils turn into bright blossoms.

“All of this is because of John,” says Faye. “If he loves anything in the world, it’s a daylily.”

Photos of blooms courtesy John Shooter

Caring for Daylilies in Your Garden Where To Plant: Full sun Type of Soil: Prepare soil by adding peat moss, humus and compost When to Plant: Spring through fall Spacing: 18” and 24” apart, each side Watering: Water increases plants’ full potential Fertilizing: Slightly acidic soil, pH should be between 6 and 7 Mulching: Helps retain moisture

Want to go?

Marietta Gardens, located at 8577 N.C. 904 in Fairmont, is a popular stop for travelers en route to Myrtle Beach.

For more information, call 910-628-9466 or visit www.mariettagardens.com.

CAROLINACONVERSATIONS

Shea Ralph is a basketball legend in North Carolina, and her name is also on the A List at the school of champions, the University of Connecticut.

At Terry Sanford High School in Fayetteville, the six-foot guard scored over 3,000 career points and had 61 in one game, the state record.

Her senior season, she was the national high school player of the year.

After choosing UConn over Tennessee and the University of North Carolina, Ralph flourished as an all-around standout, averaging 13.1 points, four assists and nearly two steals for her 128-game career. She was named the national freshman of the year, earned All-America honors

along the way and was the Sports Illustrated women's player of the year in 2000.

Ralph was the Huskies' captain her junior season for a team that won the national championship. In that 2000 title game against Tennessee, she had 15 points, seven assists and six steals, earning the Big Four Most Valuable Player award.

She was on the Pittsburgh women's basketball coaching staff for five years and has been an assistant to UConn head coach Geno Auriemma the past six. The Huskies have won the national title four of those seasons, including 2014.

By THAD MUMAU, Special to OutreachNC | Photography contributed by UCONN ATHLETICS

ONC: You have won national championships at Connecticut as a player and as a coach. Compare the feelings you experienced.

SR: It is very different. One big difference is that I never got nervous when I played; as a coach, I'm always nervous. Coaching, you lack the control you had when you were out there on the court. As a player, I always felt I could get the job done.

As a coach, all I can do is prepare the players and hope they execute like they are capable of doing.

It's kind of funny because I used to hear similar things from my mother (Marsha Lake, who was an All-American at UNC). She would say it was easier to play than sit in the stands and watch me. All of these players I work with are like my children, and I want them to succeed.

I agree with my mom.

and then she would point out things.

I wanted her input. I loved basketball.

I knew I wanted to be a great player, and I knew she could help me do that.

I remember that I would like to forget. That was the state high school championship game against Durham Hillside my senior year. I was 0-for10 on three-point shots, and we lost.

I felt we lost because I didn't make shots. I still think about that one.

ONC: Obviously, you were the one who had to do the work, to put in the hours working by yourself in 90-plus-degree heat on summer afternoons.

SR: That's true. But you know what?

I loved the work, too. I knew it would make me better. Kids today are not as fundamentally skilled overall as they used to be. A big reason for that is that they are on AAU teams that are always playing games. The kids don't go to camps any more. That's why you're not seeing a lot of skills, a lot of fundamentals even though today's players are such great athletes.

ONC: Speaking of your mother, I have always felt she helped you build a really solid foundation in terms of fundamentals. I would see you working on skills-type things in your driveway, all by yourself, and I figured your mom was behind that.

SR: She sure was. You know that kids don't always want to hear what their parents have to say about things like how to be a better player. But I saw my mother's silver medal from the World Games, and I was at Carolina when they retired her number. So, she had credibility. I knew she knew what she was talking about.

ONC: You could have gone to college anywhere, but you chose a school that was challenging for you. How was that when you first got to Connecticut?

SR: Eye-opening. I had a lot to learn.

Choosing to come here was the best decision I ever made. Up to that point, it was all about me. Here, I played on a team full of high school All-Americans.

I had to learn to share, how to be a great teammate on the court and off the court. That was the hardest thing for me to learn. I realized how selfish I was. I had to learn things about myself that I didn't necessarily want to hear. All of that made me a better player and a better person.

ONC: Did she offer a lot of advice?

SR: Only when I asked her. Mom was never incessant about it; she didn't replay my games after they were over. She always waited for me to ask,

ONC: Which game that you played in do you remember most?

SR: The one that sticks out is my senior night at UConn, and of course our national championship win over Tennessee. There is a game

ONC: You would have played longer except for your knees, wouldn't you?

SR: I have had five ACL surgeries. I wanted to play pro ball and was drafted, but I just couldn't continue because of my knees. After I saw I couldn't keep playing, I realized I could still be a part of the game as a coach.

ONC: How do you like coaching?

SR: I love it. I really do. First of all, I love basketball so much, so it's great to remain in the game. I have a lot to give. So many people helped me, and I want to give back. Coaching is a way to do that. I was never a great athlete. I learned little tricks that helped me be a good player. I try to pass on those things to our players.

Coaching is hard at a different level than playing. My job is to help make players better. I may know ways to do that, but it can be hard to get things across.

CONTINUED PAGE 42

CAROLINACONVERSATIONS

"I had to learn to share, how to be a great teammate on the court and off the court. That was the hardest thing for me to learn."

SHEA RALPH, ON HER CHALLENGES AS A NEWLY MINTED UCONN TEAM MEMBER.

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 41

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 41

ONC: You mentioned your mother's credibility earlier.

I'd say you have pretty good credibility with the Connecticut players. I'm sure they know about your playing days there.

SR: They do. They listen to what I have to say. I know the game, and I think they know I can help them.

I have a very close relationship with the players. They come to me about things other than basketball. I am glad they feel they can trust me.

ONC: Certainly, you want to be a head college coach some day.

SR: Yes, I do. But it has to be the right school and the right time. I have been offered interviews for head jobs, but not actual job offers.

I have had extensive talks about openings, but the right job just isn't out there yet. And it isn't the right time.

42 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

ONC: How about the Connecticut head coaching job one day?

SR: Well, it would definitely be a great job. I think it would absolutely be a tough one, though. There are a lot of great schools where there would be great head coaching jobs.

When the time comes, I will look around and make a good decision.

Until then, I have the best assistant's job in the country.

Shea Ralph as coach and player. As UConn's women's basketball assistant head coach, Shea Ralph shares a laugh with head coach Geno Auriemma. Top right: As a UConn player, she had plenty to celebrate being captain of UConn's 2000 NCAA national championship team and finishing her career with 1,678 points, ranked among the program's top-10 career leaders in assists (456), steals (252) and field goal percentage (.579).

W

destination:

Retirement

Docking in

Oriental NORTH CAROLINA

By CARRIE FRYE Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

hen “Two-Boat Larry” Summers sailed into picturesque Oriental, North Carolina’s sailing capital, for boat repairs in December 2005, he had no idea his life would be forever changed in just a few short months. He headed inland to spend the holidays with his grown children in Williamsburg, Va., before heading back to this tiny town on the banks of the mighty Neuse River in Pamlico County.

With North Carolina growing as a top destination for retirement, Summers, a retired U.S. Army Cobra helicopter pilot, was drawn to Oriental for its sailorfriendly waters and community. He bought a second boat earning him the aforementioned nickname, and most locals know him by his jubilant laugh.

“If you ever thought about going back to college but skipping all your classes, that’s what Oriental is.

It’s just a wonderful town,” says Summers.

Meanwhile, Julie Gaines was working in Michigan and finally accepted her mother’s invitation to move to Oriental. She was excited to make the transition and felt right at home, except for her mother’s introductions to people around town.

“She would say, ‘This is my daughter, Julie. She needs a job, a place to live and a man,’” says Gaines, laughing. “I was married twice before, and I was not looking for a man. I did find a job and rent a cottage.”

An abstract artist, Gaines worked part-time at two local restaurants and continued her watercolor painting.

“My mother asked me what would impress me in a guy, and I told her he would have to be a reader, especially if he would talk to me about James Michener’s book ‘The Source.’”

One fateful evening after work in early 2006, Gaines met Summers at the Oriental Steamer Restaurant, where they struck up a conversation about books. Summers, an avid reader himself, mentioned “The Source,” and the rest fell into place.

“My mom loved him,” says Gaines, "and he is the only man I had dated who she liked.”

CONTINUED PAGE 44

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 43

destination:

Retirement

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 43

Summers was living on his boat, a Morgan Out Island 33-footer, so as their courtship continued, Gaines ended up moving aboard.

“Living on a boat is like living in your own small city with your own water, power and provisions, and you can pick up and go anywhere you want,” says Gaines. “It did change my consumerism for good. I am not going shopping for throw pillows and scented candles,” she says, laughing. “Larry is a pack rat, even living on a boat, but I am not going to change that.

“We made a plan to cruise to the Bahamas, and then I was offered my own art show,” explains Gaines. “This wonderful man said we should stay here, and I should paint. He went out and bought paints, brushes, and canvases…the cabin (of the boat) was filled. He’s my muse, and he frames all of my paintings.”

So they didn’t go cruising then. They stayed docked in Oriental, and Gaines painted and had her art show.

“I can paint anywhere,” says Gaines. “Abstracts are loose and just go with the flow. I remember once setting up a bowl of red paint and the wind came up and knocked it all over the canvas. I stood there looking at it for a minute, and then I said, ‘It’s done,’ signed it and started another painting.”

Living on the boat hasn’t stopped the couple from being active in the community either. Gaines is a founding member of the Village Gallery, a fine arts

cooperative of local artists on the Oriental waterfront while Summers is an active town commissioner.

“I inherited the volunteer gene,” says Summers.

“He’s a town commissioner, and we don’t even have a house,” adds Gaines, laughing. “He works hard to keep the ferry tax at bay,” an important issue in a coastal community.

With a population of approximately 900 in comparison to 3,000 boats, it is easy to see why Oriental is a boat-friendly place. Broad Street runs through the heart of town dotted with the post office, town grocery and a handful of restaurants and shops.

For boaters and visitors alike, it is an easy town to walk or bicycle around.

Both Summers and Gaines grew up on the water, Summers in Massachusetts and Gaines sailing on Lake Michigan, so they appreciate being a part of a waterfront community.

“It’s the nature of sailors and fishermen,” says Gaines.

“When you’re on the water, literally anything can happen, so you have to be open-minded and trusting, and the sense of humanity here is amazing.”

“We solve the problems of the world at The Bean every morning,” says Summers of Oriental’s lone coffee house across from the town dock.

“And at the Tiki Bar at night,” adds Gaines, of the lone waterfront bar, where the couple met and became friends with John McVie of Fleetwood Mac, who was sailing through town and stopped for yacht repairs.

The couple lived aboard their 33-footer for three years before purchasing “Tara,” a 40-footer made of fiberglass with a wooden deck and cabin.

“We lived onboard the other boat for a year before we actually went sailing,” says Gaines. “We kept kidding each other that the other didn’t really know

Boat living, at right, hasn't stopped this couple from being active in the community. Julie Gaines (left) is a founding member of local artist co-op Village Gallery (with her painting at left) while Larry Summers (right) is an active town commissioner.

how, and of course, we did. We needed a bigger boat to have room for my shoes and handbags,” she adds, laughing.

Married in May 2011, the whole town was invited to their “small” ceremony on the waterfront via flyers posted at the post office and Town 'n Country, Oriental’s only grocery store. Approximately 350 friends, family and fellow residents came together to wish the couple well, including the Oriental Dragon, who normally only comes out for the Dragon Run on New Year’s Eve along the waterfront.

Gaines didn’t want a typical wedding shower or gifts so to speak.

“I told people when they asked why, ‘We live on a boat,’” she says, “so I registered at all the local stores, even the hardware store, as a way to give back to the local businesses and community.”

Docked and residing at Whittaker Creek Marina, Gaines points out where their neighbors gather for sailors’ potluck dinners.

“I cooked all the time onboard,” says Gaines. “My favorite thing to make is beef stroganoff. I don’t really eat fish,” she says, smiling, “but I do love to fish. It’s just catch and release.”

Life changed drastically for the couple in August 2011 when Hurricane Irene was an unwelcome visitor to the North Carolina coast. Seeking safe harbor, the couple headed to Williamsburg. Upon their return, their boat Tara, which has sailed the Atlantic four times and the Pacific once, was no match for the storm. Its mast was broken and in great disrepair, so Summers has been hard at work fixing it ever since.

In need of a place to stay while they work on Tara, fate seemed to step in again. An opportunity for house-sitting became an option they couldn’t refuse.

Some of the homes have pets and some do not, and since they are used to living on a boat, they don’t have much “stuff ” to take with them from place to place.

They’re now booked up through October.

“They all have different remote controls to figure out,” says Gaines, laughing. “We don’t have a plan, and we’ve never had a problem here. I could live in a shoebox. I wake up so happy every morning.”

Since the couple got together, grandchildren on Summers’ side have also added a new important aspect to their lives.

“My desire to cruise is still great, but I don’t want to leave our grandchildren,” says Gaines.

“There are twin 5-year-old boys,” says Summers, “and they got in trouble with their teacher for telling tall tales about their grandpa and grandma, who are pirates living on a boat and playing with a dragon. So their mom had to explain that they aren’t telling tales,” he says, grinning. “They’re telling the truth.”

Summers is happily retired but stays busy with his civic work and boat repairs.

“My second term (as town commissioner) expires in November 2015,” he says, “and we’ll have the boat ready for sailing by then, maybe down the coast.”

“I’m practicing at retirement,” adds Gaines, grinning “and it turns out, I’m really good at it.”

She is also broadening her art horizons and trying her hand at poetry since taking a class.

“I’m not a writer at all, an avid reader, but they asked me to write some poems for 'Art on the Neuse,'" says Gaines of the May 10 outdoor art festival that chose one of her paintings as the event poster. “I like to take risks in art. It’s a lot like living on a boat.”

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 45

Historic North Carolina Churches Series

Old Laurel Hill Presbyterian Church L aurinburg, N.C.

By CARRIE FRYE Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

A

Located at 15301 McFarland Road n Laurinburg, Old Laurel Hill Presbyterian Church is a site on the North Carolina Civil War Trail. Sunday worship services are at 11 a.m. For more information, call 910-276-7151.

46 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

clearing in the countryside opens off McFarland Road in Laurinburg as if to greet passersby, which is what it must have been like for those early Scots looking for the perfect place to call their church home. Organized

by John Gillespie in 1797, settlers in the region gathered to worship without religious persecution on these hallowed grounds. Early sermons were taught in Gaelic before transitioning to English.

First building a log structure, the congregation later completed the two-story white church with its Greek revival architecture with its tall columns in the mid 1800s.

On March 8, 1865, the church’s most notorious visitors were Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman and two columns of the Union Army’s 15th Corps. Leaving a fiery trail of destruction, the men trekked from South Carolina through Robeson County led by Lumbee Indian guides through torrential rains that left the region flooded.

“The damnedest marching I ever saw,” is what Sherman called the journey, which brought him and his troops upon Old Laurel Hill, where they set up camp. Young soldiers took to the church’s bell tower (a chandelier now hangs there), fashioning it as an observation deck. Handwritten scrawl from the troops has since been cut from the plaster and preserved to protect these priceless pieces of Civil War history.

Sherman sent this message to his Federal troops at Wilmington, believing they had secured the valuable port.

“We are marching for Fayetteville, will be there Saturday, Sunday and Monday and then march for Goldsboro. If possible send a boat up the Cape Fear River and have word conveyed to Gen. Schofield that I expect to meet him about Goldsboro. We are all well and have done finely.

The rains have made our roads difficult and may delay us about Fayetteville, in which case I would

like to have some bread, sugar and coffee. We have abundance of all else. I expect to reach Goldsboro by the 20th instant.”

The soldiers spared Old Laurel Hill by not burning it down, but they did take the wooden pews for the wooden planks for their aid in those heavy rains, which made their march to the sea even more formidable.

A hallway inside the church’s education building now holds an array of artifacts from Sherman’s encampment and historical relics including photographs, a beautiful glass communion set, Bibles and hymnals marking the church’s great history in the Sandhills.

As a site on the North Carolina Civil War Trail, the church was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1984.

Original, ornate, wooden moldings showcase the Puritan tradition of the church inside. A simple wooden cross hangs above the altar. A more elaborate wooden cross crafted from wood of the church’s original foundation by church member Beacham McDougald hangs in the vestibule with symbolism of the Presbyterian faith.

Today, the congregation has a more recent tradition celebrating Sunday worship with bluegrass by the Laurel Hillbillies with hymns like “Old Rugged Cross” and “Washed in the Blood.”

“The challenge is,” says Pastor Deck Guess, “keeping the balance of honoring our history and being faithful in the present.”

Young soldiers took to the church’s bell tower, fashioning it h as an observation deck.Marc

5 6 8

1

Handwritten scrawl from the troops has since

been cut from the plaster and preserved to

protect these priceless pieces of Civil War history.

8

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 47

M

ay is the month to celebrate all of the warning sign of heart disease. moms and mother figures in our lives as In addition to routine screenings for heart disease, well as National Women's Health. It is also there are a slew of other important preventive screenings a great time to remind all of those wonderful women to remember. that we love to take care of themselves. Women are “Women and men need to have a colonoscopy at age often so focused on being caregivers that they forget 50 and then once every 10 years after that if there are no to focus some attention on themselves, and most concerns,” says Jeyapalan. importantly, their health.

She also stresses the importance of checking for skin “Preventative measures are of paramount importance abnormalities and growths. “People talk about skin for women wishing to achieve a long healthy lifespan,” cancers,” she says, “but I can't tell you how many people explains Melissa Mang, a registered nurse and family I see who don't get them checked. Skin cancers that are nurse practitioner detected and removed with Southern Pines early are almost always Women's Clinic. curable.”

Rather than waiting Jeyapalan recommends for a health problem having a doctor “do a to present itself, be full-body exam, to assure proactive. The themes you that any existing are pretty simple – get spots, freckles, or moles moving, eat a healthy are normal or treat any diet, stop smoking, that may not be.” wear sunscreen and go Mang also points out for an annual physical. that women over 65 Following through should have bone mineral with these suggestions density screenings, and can be challenging, but screenings for thyroid By MICHELLE GOETZL completely worth the disease should begin at Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS effort. age 35.

The silent killer of Women also need to women is heart disease. According to the Mayo Clinic, be sure to have regular mammograms and Pap smears. more women than men die of this every year, partially However, the frequency of both of these exams is because the symptoms are so hard to recognize. Women controversial topic these days. According to Jeyapalan, often don't think about heart disease since breast, cervical “most medical societies still recommend starting and ovarian cancers are considered “women's ailments.” mammograms at age 40,” even though there are some Although some of the risk factors for heart disease we are governmental bodies pushing for starting the screenings powerless against – family history, sex or age – other risk at age 50. factors can be minimized.

Jeyapalan personally sees high-risk breast cancer “Women need to be sure to have a primary care patients every year and those without a history of physician and to have a check-up every year, or twice breast, cervical, colon or uterine cancer every two years, a year if you are over 60,” says Dr. Amelia Jeyapalan, a but there are a variety of factors that your doctor can general surgeon at Pinehurst Surgical Clinic. “It is vital discuss regarding how frequently an individual should to have your cholesterol, blood pressure and weight be screened. checked regularly.”

Pap testing for cervical cancer is also a hot-button Jeyapalan also emphasizes telling your doctor of any topic right now. Dr. Cile Williamson, a gynecologist problems with shortness of breath, as this can be a in Pinehurst, says that “the days of routine yearly Paps

The gift of

health

48 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

are over,” due mainly to the advent of HPV testing and specialist and back-pain specialist in the Triangle area, vaccines. Williamson explains that women with normal acknowledges that the first and often hardest hurdle is Paps with negative HPV screenings can now go three to simply not knowing what to do. five years between Paps.

“Like the vast majority of people, women 40 and older “It can be intimidating to think about and can be have never had any education about their body, how scary not to do a Pap, but a Pap does not equal a pelvic it works or how to manipulate it with exercise,” says exam. It is just a small part of your yearly women's Hauber. exam,” says Williamson, who advises women still see Her belief is that your best bet to overcoming the their doctors on an annual basis. hurdle is to consult “a qualified, experienced, fitness A lot of older women, especially, are finding it professional.” However, Hauber’s reasoning isn't about difficult to adjust to the change in screenings because keeping personal trainers in business, but rather how they are so used to having the procedure qualified trainers can “guide women to and waiting for the results. What is the proper level of exertion to reach their important to remember is that Pap goals without hurting themselves.” She smears were not 100 percent accurate, tells a story of a 72-year-old woman who and the new screening procedures started lifting weights when her sister reduce false positives. died from a stroke and has since become Taking care of your health isn't only a competitive body-builder. While most something that you focus on in the women don't need to go to that extreme, doctor's office. More and more health it is never too late to be active and fit. professionals push the importance of “Get a workout buddy,” says Hauber, maintaining a healthy weight and diet. who emphasizes having a dedicated Over 60 percent of women over the age partner with the same goals. “Then plan of 40 are overweight. Between 1980 and a workout schedule and stick to it. You 2010, the average weight in America don't break a date with your friends, increased by 30 pounds, making it and you should consider your buddy more difficult to be able to tell what is workouts just as important as a social healthy normal versus socially normal Dr. Amelia Jeyapalan date with your friends.” without an accurate check of your body examines a female The health benefits of keeping your patient.

She recommends mass index, a number calculated by an weight in check and including a workout screenings for high-risk individual’s height and weight. regimen are numerous. breast cancer patients “When you start looking at the “Women need strength, period,” says every year and those implications of weight gain, they are Hauber. “Building lean muscle improves without a history of horrible,” says Williamson. "Checking for breast, cervical, colon metabolism, making fat gain less of cancer is harder, because it is harder to or uterine cancer every a problem as we age. Proper weightsee through dense breast tissue. Uterine two years. bearing exercise is also the best defense cancer, the most common gynecological against osteoporosis and bone thinning. cancer, is directly related to obesity because fat tissue Staying active is the absolute key to warding off pain produces estrogen. Obesity also causes high blood and physical dysfunction.” pressure, higher cholesterol levels, diabetes and postExercise also plays a vital role in stress management, menopausal bleeding.” something that we all need to focus on.

Maintaining a healthy weight can seem overwhelming.

“Proper diet and exercise are natural stress relievers,” It is easy to say that you are going to start exercising, but says Williamson. “Stress is a huge factor in our lives often hard to follow through. and one statistic shows that 80 percent of disease is Sara Hauber, an advanced functional movement stress-related.”

CONTINUED PAGE 50

May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 49

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 49

Hands on: Trainer Sara Hauber helps a student strengthen her back by doing the "floor swim," one of the most important parts of an exercise routine for women over 40.

Stress can cause high blood pressure. It is a contributing factor in depression and anxiety. Williamson mentions that stress even plays a role in managing menopausal symptoms.

“Stress can increase negative behaviors such as smoking, drinking or drug use and can add to the risk of developing diabetes, ulcers, obesity and atherosclerosis,” adds Mang.

Our accelerated lives are much harder on our bodies.

We are living longer, but we are also working longer, not taking vacations and dealing with added chemicals in our foods. To counter-balance the stressors in our lives, get active.

Jeyapalan urges her patients to find something they love to do and then get involved, whether it is with church, a hobby or a book club.

“By getting involved, you can talk to others who are going through the same things that you are going through,” says Jeyapalan.

This Mother's Day and this month, shower the women in your life (or yourself) with a different kind of gift.

Schedule a spa day with your mother, daughter, sister or friend and then go with them to pamper yourself and enjoy the time together. For an aging parent, schedule their health appointments and go with them for support and for an extra set of ears. Find a workout buddy or start a walking club. The most meaningful gift we can give is the gift of health.

50 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

The Mayo Clinic focuses on 6 key preventive measures that women can focus on to keep their hearts healthy. Not surprisingly, these items are keys to focus on as general principles of keeping healthy.

1. Don't smoke or use tobacco.

2. E xercise for 30 minutes on most days of the week.

3. E at a heart healthy diet rich in fruits, vegetables and whole grains.

Beans and low-fat sources of protein are also important while you limit your intake of saturated and trans-fats.

4. Maintain a healthy weight.

5. Get enough quality sleep.

6. G et regular health screenings on blood pressure, cholesterol levels and diabetes.

I am enjoying more time to visit with my friends since my Care Manager visits weekly to help with sorting mail and paying bills. She is also available to help me navigate medical changes as well.

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May 2014 | www.OutreachNC.com 51

GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 54

ACROSS

1. Wine holder 5. Bean counter, for short 8. Destiny 13. The "A" of ABM 14. Part man, part goat 15. Betelgeuse's constellation 16. Favoring neither side in a dispute 18. Move, as a plant 19. Ancient jar with two handles and a narrow neck 20. "___ to Billie Joe" 22. "___ moment" 23. "Flying Down to ___" 24. Fertilizer ingredient 26. Anger, e.g.

27. Challenged someone to do something 29. "Beg pardon ..."

30. Big ___ Conference 31. Quark flavor 33. Outer covering of eyeball 36. Indiscriminate in selection 38. Dravidian language in central India 40. Madagascan prosimian primate 41. "Tarzan" extra 42. Antares, for one 44. Mountain summits 48. Bird's beak 49. Embankment to prevent

Angola Aruba Bahrain Benin Bhutan Canada Chad Chile Colombia Cuba Egypt Gabon Ghana Guam Iceland Iran Israel Japan Jordan Kenya Latvia

May Word Search

Macau Maldives Mali Mauritania

Morocco Nauru Nepal Niger

Peru Qatar Rwanda Scotland

Slovenia Sudan Togo Uganda

Ukraine USA

shore erosion 51. "Sesame Street" watcher 52. Trick taker, often 53. Infomercials, e.g.

54. Baton wielder 56. Kind of trip 58. Minnesota's capital (2 wds.)

60. Clear, as a disk 61. "... or ___!"

62. Bad marks 63. Tear with violent force 64. Undertake, with "out" 65. Comparative word DOWN

1. False rumor 2. Deficiency of red blood cells 3. Daze 4. Friends and neighbors 5. Cooked squid 6. Afghan monetary unit 7. Tom, Dick or Harry 8. "M*A*S*H" setting 9. "___ we having fun yet?"

10. Retorts quickly 11. Sillier 12. Feeler 14. Kind of team 17. Obstructive driver 21. Chinese brunch with tea 25. V=IR, physics (2 wds.)

28. Almond 32. Pleasingly entertained

52 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

34. Two of the same kind 35. Artificial bait 36. Lacking refinement 37. Potter 38. American songbird 39. Gourmet 43. Armor plates protecting

the upper thighs 45. Hook up 46. Monetary unit of Czech Republic 47. Hot 49. Fills 50. Channel

55. Clash 57. "Acid" 59. A pint, maybe 55. Red ink amount 57. Length x width, for a rectangle 59. Compete

Law Review by Jackie Bedard

Select the right executor

I

f you are nearing retirement and have created a living will, given power of attorney and written a conventional will, you are ahead of the game. There's one more step to take to ensure that everything is in order, and that's to name an executor of your estate.

Choosing an executor can make all the difference as to whether your wishes are followed and everything is done properly. Simply put, an executor administers the estate and is in charge until it's legally closed.

It's a big responsibility, and the choice should not be made lightly.

When someone dies, his or her estate must be admitted to probate.

After that, the estate has to pay creditors and taxes, and then the beneficiaries get their share of what's left. If there is an estate tax audit or the will is contested, the executor will oversee that process, too. The job can last for a couple of years—or even more. Practically speaking, an attorney or financial professional is a sound choice. If you are not close to someone with those skills, using a common-sense friend or relative is a good way to go, advises AARP. Although this person can perform most duties, the excecutor will know when to ask for expert help.

Most people, of course, put a family member, often an adult child, in charge of their estate. The advantage to that, as The New York Times reports, is that this person presumably knows your intentions well and can readily find the assets that need to be inventoried.

Beware of naming several children as co-executors. It can be a recipe

for disaster, and they may wind up fighting over the estate.

Once you do settle on an executor, there's more work to be done. You should choose backup executors to step in if your first choice is unable or unwilling to perform. If you name an elderly relative or friend as executor, you might outlive him or her. If there is no line of succession, the court will appoint an executor, and there's no guarantee this person will distribute the assets exactly as you had planned.

A smart way to cut costs is to limit the amount that goes through probate. Life insurance, savings bonds, retirement accounts, real estate and jointly held bank and brokerage accounts don't have to go through probate. And thus they don't count in calculating an executor's fee. Assets put into a revocable trust do not go through probate either.

If you divorce, you’ll want to change your will if you named an ex-spouse as executor. If you remarry and your new spouse has children, you won't want an executor treating your biological children as second-class citizens, so someone neutral is a good pick.

In short, as with much of end-oflife planning decisions, revisit your choices after major life changes to make sure your wishes are followed.

Bedard, an elder law attorney with Carolina Family Estate Planning in Cary, can be reached at 919-443-3035.

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Medicare Update by Lynne Drinkwater

Understanding enrollment periods

I

f you or a loved one is approaching the age of 65, it’s important to understand when and how to enroll in Medicare. SHIIP, the Seniors’ Health Insurance Information Program, is part of the N.C. Department of Insurance and can help people who have questions about the process.

The Initial Enrollment Period is the period of time an individual has to sign up for Medicare when he or she first becomes eligible—usually at age 65. This period is three months before you turn 65, the month you turn 65 and three months after you turn 65.

However, if you didn’t sign up when you were first eligible for Medicare, it’s not too late to enroll now! You have the opportunity to sign up during the General Enrollment Period that runs each year between Jan. 1 and March 31.

If you enroll during the General Enrollment Period, your coverage will begin on July 1. Keep in mind, you may be charged a late enrollment penalty and have to pay a higher premium for Medicare Part A, Part B or both.

If you didn’t sign up for Medicare Parts A and/or B during your Initial Enrollment but had a group health plan based on current employment, a Special Enrollment Period is available to you. The Special Enrollment Period runs eight months starting on the month after employment ends or on the month the group health plan based on current employment ends,

whichever occurs first.

Usually, there is no late enrollment penalty if you sign up during a Special Enrollment Period.

It is important to note that COBRA and retiree health plans are not considered coverage based on current employment, and beneficiaries of those plans are not eligible for a Special Enrollment Period when that coverage ends.

Of course, there are other things to consider when determining your Medicare options. SHIIP has created a handout to help you navigate the Medicare system and initial enrollment process. The handout, “The Road to Medicare,” outlines the decisions you will need to make and what options are available through the Medicare system. You can obtain a free copy of “The Road to Medicare” on SHIIP’s website, www.ncdoi.com.

If you have questions about enrollment or any other Medicare issues, you can talk to a SHIIP counselor in person or over the phone. Trained SHIIP volunteers are available for one-on-one sessions in all 100 counties in North Carolina. To learn more, call SHIIP’s toll-free call center at 1-800-443-9354 or visit www.ncshiip.com.

May GREY MATTER Answers

Drinkwater, program coordinator at the Moore County Department of Aging, can be reached at 910-215-0900, ext.

206 or ldrinkwater@ moorecountync.gov.

SUBSCRIBE NOW! Go to OutreachNC.com or scan this QR Code to begin your subscription today. u 54 www.OutreachNC.com | May 2014

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Tater Baker, Owner

910.875.2385 910.308.4412

e l d e r l aw Jackie Bedard Carolina Family Estate Planning Estate Planning & Elder Care Attorney 51 Kilmayne Drive | Suite 203 | Cary, NC 27511 919.443.3035 jackie@carolinafep.com | www.CarolinaFEP.com Jennifer B. Garner Garner Law Firm, PLLC Focusing in Elder Law, Estate Planning & Estate Administration 125 Applecross Road | Pinehurst, NC 28374 | 910.693.0043 jennifer.garner@jennifergarnerlaw.com

FINaNCIal servICes Taylor Clement, CFP® Certified Financial Planner™ Clement Capital Group, LLC Plan. Invest. Protect.

Securities and advisory services offered through Commonwealth Financial Network, Member FINRA/SIPC, a Registered Investment Adviser

135 W. Connecticut Avenue, Ste. A | Southern Pines, NC 28387 910-693-0032 Taylor@ClementCapitalGroup.com www.ClementCapitalGroup.com Jeff Gollehon, CLU, ChFC JG Financial Consulting, LLC Our Only Business Is Protecting Your Retirement 150 Magnolia Square Court | Aberdeen, NC 28315 910-944-0575 www.helpingseniorsplan.com

Home Care servICes Rhonda Priest - Southern Pines Registry Administrator Sommer Prestianni - Cary Registry Administrator AOS At Home Care A network of private duty caregivers serving south central NC SOUTHERn PinES: 910.692.0683 | CARy: 919.535.8713 info@CaregivernC.com | www.CaregivernC.com

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Ashley Coble Admissions Director Scottish Pines Rehabilitation & Nursing Center A New Kind of Health Care Facility for the Scotland County Community 620 Johns Road | Laurinburg, NC 28352 910-276-8400 | 910-361-4001 Admissions@ScottishPinesRehab.com | www.ScottishPinesRehab.com

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suPPoRT seRvIces Duke Family Support Program A free first responder service for all NC families caring for someone with a memory disorder and/or multiple chronic conditions of late life.

DUMC 3600 | Durham, NC 27710 | 919-660-7510 www.dukefamilysupport.org

unIveRsal desIgn lIvIng Lewis Sadler Certified Aging in Place Specialist Home Builder Sadler Construction, Inc. New Homes and Remodels Functional ■ Beautiful ■ Barrier-free ■ Complimentary on-site consultations PO Box 3023 | Cary NC 27519 | 919.678.0313 info@SadlerConstructionNC.com | www.SadlerConstructionNC.com Universal Cabinet Design Our doors open for everybody...

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Supporting NC families for three decades Find a support group... alznc.org | 800.228.8738

Over My Shoulder by Ann Robson Mothers’ jobs never done Motherhood has often been referred to as “the worst job you’ll ever love.”

Most mothers would agree—it’s not an easy job (or jobs), but they wouldn’t trade it.

555-1234

Mothers are the original multitaskers. Who else can give birth, tend to a child’s multiple needs, take care of numerous household chores, be a chauffeur, an appointment secretary, chief financial officer, psychologist, mediator, adviser, and do it while working at another fulltime job outside the home?

“Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that suppose to mean? In my heart, it don’t mean a thing.”

—Toni Morrison, Beloved

“Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.”

—Psychology Today

Almost everything we own comes with instructions of some sort to help us handle whatever properly.

But nothing prepares us for children.

Probably because no two children are alike, nor are any two mothers, it seems impossible to give instructions about situation A attached to child B. Although there are plenty of books and Internet sources about being a mother, it’s not feasible to cover every event from birth to maturity. Love seems to be the universal answer, as in “I’m doing this because I love you” when giving a child a "time out," or “I love you but right now I don’t like what you’ve done.”

Fortunately, there’s a continuing trend of more involvement by fathers in sharing the care and feeding of a child. Mothers with helpful fathers by their sides find that job-sharing is more rewarding. Those who find themselves in the "single parent" category have to go it alone much of the time. That’s when they turn to their own mothers or grandmothers for guidance and help.

Occasionally I find myself thinking of questions to ask my mother, or, rather that I should have asked. Why do you always cook that for special occasions? Whatever happened to Uncle X? Why is that important to you? I’m 14 years late in getting all my questions answered. From this I’ve learned I should have done more quizzing years ago.

“Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.”

—Pearl Buck

Visiting Southern Pines?

“Call your mother, she worries.”

I really appreciate this poster/ plaque/note card. I think that it was made for me. I am so grateful for this new thing called "texting." My daughter is on the road a lot and sometimes, it’s not easy to get in touch.

We have devised a simple pattern of texting a few sentences each evening.

It’s amazing how rewarding it can be to get even a few words so I can stop worrying.

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no, you’re going to get it anyway.”

—Erma Bombeck “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

—Popular saying Wherever you are on the motherhood spectrum, may you have a Happy Mother's Day. Email Robson at info@outreachnc.com.

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A New Approach to Managing Pain Interventional pain procedures Chiropractic service | Movement therapy Massage therapy | Deep tissue therapy James Taylor, MD | Utpal Patel, MD | Diann Beane, FNP | Jerri Patterson, ANP-BC Ron Bailey, PA-C | Darryl Foster, PA-C | Marva Rich, PA-C

Make your appointment at our NEW Sanford & Fayetteville locations today!

SANFORD

FAYETTEVILLE

1303 Carthage Street

1314 Medical Drive

919-842-5545

LAURINBURG

910-277-2999

601 Lauchwood Drive

910-728-4410

PINEHURST

910-725-1708

165 Turnberry Way (in Turnberry Wood)

www.IPS.md

CARY

919-500-8748

115 Parkway Office Ct., Suite 101