OutreachNC magazine July 2016

COMPLIMENTARY

JULY 2016 | VOL. 7, ISSUE 7

Homegrown

N.C. issue

HERITAGE FLAG HONORS NAVY VETERAN MENTAL STRATEGIES TO REDUCE CHRONIC PAIN LOCAL HONEY & YOUR HEALTH

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AgingOutreachServices.com

features JULY 2016

Homegrown N.C. Issue 24

A Homegrown Old-Time Country Store

by Carrie Frye

28

Made in N.C.

by Carrie Frye

32

Better With Age Series: Bodie Island Lighthouse

by Carrie Frye

35

Carolina Conversations with N.C. Hall of Fame Author Clyde Edgerton

by Thad Mumau

46

Local Honey & Your Health

by Jennifer Webster

45

Aged Barrels Crafted into Flags Honor Service

by Carrie Frye

50

How Does Your Garden Grow? 5 Easy Foods to Grow This Summer

by Rachel Stewart

56 4

OutreachNC.com | JULY 2016

Civil War Center Designed for 21st Century

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FirstHealth Cancer Care offers comprehensive cancer services, including patient navigation, nutrition and dietary assistance, stress management, massage therapy, clinical trials and more.

Learn more at nccancercare.org and let FirstHealth care for you.

JULY 2016 | OutreachNC.com 5

departments July 2016

“That beautiful season the Summer!

Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; And the landscape Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.”

30

—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

18 advice & health

66 life

10

Ask the Expert

by Amy Natt

18

Game On

by Thad Mumau

64

Resource Marketplace Find the resources you need.

12

Caregiving

by Mike Collins

21

Literary Corner

by Cos Barnes & Michelle Goetzl

66

Generations

by Carrie Frye

14

Skin Health

by Stephen C. King, MD

23

Belle Weather

by Celia Rivenbark

16

Brain Health

by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP

30

Cooking Simple

by Rhett Morris

22

Law Review

by Jackie Bedard

54

DAV 5K

by Carrie Frye

40

7 Tips for Coping with Sandwich Generation Stress

by Mike Collins

60

Grey Matter Games Sudoku, Word Search & Crossword Puzzles

Planning Ahead

by Beth Donner, CRPC

63

62

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OutreachNC.com | JULY 2016

Over My Shoulder

by Ann Robson

COVER PHOTOGRAPHY

BY DIANA MATTHEWS

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Scotland Cardiovascular Center now offers a new level of care to cardiac patients. This is due in large part to our affiliation with FirstHealth of the Carolinas, which has been named one of the top 10 in the nation for heart attack care.* This partnership offers you top-notch doctors, diagnostics, treatments, and world-class care close to home.

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articles

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magazine extras

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2/8/16 10:50 AM

from the editor

J

uly’s colors seem to be those of our nation and our state: red, white and blue. With our Homegrown N.C. issue, we have filled these pages with inspiring stories of homegrown businesses, products made right here in North Carolina, ideas for growing your own bounty, a little bit of history, and Carolina Conversations with N.C. Literary Hall of Fame author Clyde Edgerton. On top of that, there are plenty of healthy aging strategies, tips for those coping with the stress of the sandwich generation and some of the sweeter health benefits of local honey.

One place you can find local honey and a lot more is Dunrovin County Store. General stores are not a thing of the past if you travel along U.S. 1 South in Vass. You cannot miss the giant metal roosters, array of green plants, whimsical yard art and all of the signs enticing you to stop. Who wouldn’t want a cold drink and a hand-dipped cone on a July afternoon? The proprietors, Jo and Patrick Milcendeau, are just as welcoming. The plethora of products may make it hard to leave; a handful of those made in North Carolina are featured on Page 28. (Editor’s note: If you like homemade fudge, it is worth the drive from anywhere.)

Our story travels then lead to downtown Southern Pines and The Heritage Flag Company with owner Heath Trigg, whose beloved 10-year-old weimaraner, Luke, graces the front cover. Crafting aged whiskey barrels into American and North Carolina flags is unique itself, but to go along as he gave one of the woodworking pieces of art to a veteran was quite special. To hear the stories of retired Navy Cmdr. Tom Nesbit and share them is a gift and reminder of service and sacrifice. To all of our service men and women, we salute you!

As the summer sun sets on another issue, we hope you’ll find a shady place to sit a spell. Co-editor Jeeves has secured his spot across the air conditioning vent for a late afternoon nap. Thank you for turning pages with us. Until next month...

—Carrie Frye

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Editor in Chief Carrie Frye | carrief@OutreachNC.com Contributing Graphic Designers Nikki Lienhard, Jonathan Scott Contributing Proofreaders Michelle Goetzl, Jennifer Kirby, Kate Pomplun, Jennifer Webster Contributing Photographers Katherine Clark, Diana Matthews Contributing Writers Cos Barnes, Jackie Bedard, Mike Collins, Beth Donner, Michelle Goetzl, David Hibbard, Stephen C. King, MD, Rhett Morris, Thad Mumau, Celia Rivenbark, Ann Robson, Rachel Stewart, Karen D. Sullivan, Jennifer Webster

Y Publisher Amy Natt | amyn@AgingOutreachServices.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie | susanm@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Sales Executive Shawn Buring | shawnb@OutreachNC.com 910-690-1276 OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com PO Box 2019 | 101-A Brady Court Cary, NC 27512 919-909-2693 Office | 919-535-8719 Fax info@OutreachNC.com

www.OutreachNC.com OutreachNC is a publication of Aging Outreach Services, Inc. The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

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advice

Our Aging Life CareTM Professionals will answer any aging questions you may have.

Email us your questions! info@OutreachNC.com

ASK THE EXPERT

Starting the Life Planning Conversation

by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA My husband and I are both getting older. We have always been of the mindset “one day at a time.” I know that things are changing, and we should probably talk about it, but there never seems to be a good time. If I ask him about the growing ailments of getting older, he tells me I worry too much. What is the best way to start this conversation?

Many people find it difficult to have conversations about age-related topics, yet it is something we will all face one day. It may be a spouse, friend, parent or sibling, but we are all aging, and eventually, must tackle some of the challenges. Some things will be in your control, but others may not be, and so, all you can do is prepare and make sure your wishes and directives are well-documented.

The first step in doing this is opening the door for a productive conversation. There are so many important topics, including: the type of care you would want or do not want; who will have authority to make important decisions if you are unable to; your finances and the ability to support the care you need; available resources in your community; what happens if you or your husband can no longer stay at home; or whom to call when a crisis occurs. Start with two words, “Let’s talk.”

The following discussion tips might help get the conversation started: • How do you find the right time?

Typically, if you are asking when the right time to start a conversation is, the time has arrived. It is much easier to discuss difficult subjects before there is an immediate need.

Is there a meal you typically sit down to together each day? Coffee? That might be a good time to talk.

Turn off the typical background noise and make some notes prior to help guide the conversation.

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• What is the best time of day for you?

Typically, morning or early afternoon is best.

Avoid late day, when both of you may be tired.

Cocktails and conversation might not be the best mix, so avoid evenings if you typically have a drink or two. You may find that there is no perfect time.

If things are always getting in the way, schedule a day on your calendar and stick to it.

• What words should you use?

Take ownership by saying, “I would like to talk about a few things to help put my mind at ease,” or “Would you mind sitting down to help me?”

Show empathy by saying, “Our future is very important to me, and I realize we are not as young as we use to be, and while we are getting by today, I would really like to talk about our tomorrows.”

Be educated by offering, “I read an article about the importance of planning for successful aging, and I made a few notes of things I thought we could talk about to make sure we are prepared.”

Be prepared. There are a lot of great guides online that provide conversation starters. Order one, and use it as the point of conversation, such as, “Hey, I received this great guide on planning for our future and thought we could work on it together.”

• How to take action on decisions?

It is so easy to procrastinate. Set a goal of what you would like to accomplish and a date to meet

“ ” Refire—have an attitude of embracing the years ahead with enthusiasm rather than apathy.

—Morton Shaevitz

that goal, such as, “We can complete one chapter of this guide each week, and by the end of August, we should be able to finish it.”

Put pencil to paper. Talking about decisions is great, but start keeping notes and writing down the things that are important to you both as you plan. Make tangible notes of the decisions you make. Have legal documents been put in place, what funeral home you will use and what will it cost to get the care you want?

If all else fails, get a third party involved. Your attorney, financial adviser, physician, adult child or an Aging Life Care™ Professional may all be options for facilitating a conversation on important issues.

The important thing to keep in mind is that there will come a time when you have missed your optimal window for planning and discussing what you may or may not want as you get older. Planning and making some basic decisions is the best way to remain in control.

If you choose not to make decisions, you are essentially giving up this opportunity and giving that power to whomever may be acting on your behalf in a crisis. You are putting loved ones in a position to guess what you might want, what type of care you might want and what setting you want to be in when you need more care. Take the bold step of having the conversation now. Discussion leads to decisions, and decisions lead to action. Taking those steps toward action will keep you in control of your future.

If you are looking for a comprehensive life planning guide, you may download a free guide at: www.agingoutreachservices.com/wp-content/ uploads/2013/10/Planning-Guide-web.pdf Readers may send questions to Natt, an Aging Life CareTM Professional, certified senior advisor and CEO of Aging Outreach Services. She can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com .

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advice

CAREGIVING CAN MAKE LIFE CRAZY!

Avoid Caregiver Burnout with a Homegrown Getaway

I

by Mike Collins

f I had a dollar for every person in the region who has never had the delightful experience of a cup of coffee or glass of wine while sitting on the veranda at The Carolina Hotel in the Village of Pinehurst, I’d have a LOT of dollars. We all know where the grande dame is, but it’s one of those regional icons that’s just so…here…we don’t think about it as a destination or escape.

One of the most pressing, stressful issues about being a caregiver is that the responsibility travels with you, even when you try to take a short break. It’s sitting in the back seat with your conscience and your logic, and they are arguing back and forth like 9-year-old triplets.

You as the caregiver think, “We don’t have time to take a break. When Mom falls asleep, I need to pay bills, clean the house, organize her medications and cook meals.”

Your conscience agrees by noting, “That’s right! I’ll make you feel guilty if you take a break. The only way to prove you’re a good, loving caregiver is to focus on this 24/7.”

Your logic says, “I understand the issues you two are concerned about, but if we all don’t take a break every now and then, we’re going to burn out, and when that happens, we’re ALL in trouble.”

Why not compromise? You don’t have to go to Europe, or even Wrightsville Beach for a week. You can take short, close, homegrown breaks that slow you down a little, offer relaxation and rejuvenate you.

Every town, county or region has places that can work.

There are restaurants, parks, memorials, spectacles and oddities that we know like we know our own homes.

But, just as in our homes, when someone calls attention to a specific item on a shelf or in a local photo, we respond, “You know, I never noticed that.”

North Carolina, specifically the Sandhills, has more than its share of homegrown diversions and attractions.

This region is actually a strip of ancient beach dunes and

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is evidence of a former coastline when the ocean level was higher, or the land lower. Take a walk on the nature trail at the Weymouth Center for the Arts and Humanities and you’re walking on the dunes. Also, the center is a wonderful focus for writers and literary fans.

If it’s your nature to step out into nature, plan a day trip to the Cape Fear Botanical Garden, Fayetteville Rose Garden on the campus of Fayetteville Technical Community College or Sandhills Horticultural Gardens at Sandhills Community College. Simply taking a stroll through the gardens or a local park, you can discover hidden gems of distraction and relief.

The Sunrise Theater in Southern Pines or Raleighwood Cinema Grill are great venues for films and having wine or beer along with your popcorn. Temple Theatre in Sanford, Cape Fear Regional Theatre in Fayetteville and Judson Theatre Company in Pinehurst offer escapes into the arts.

Summertime is also a great time for live music at many local restaurants. With farm-to-table eateries, culinary delights abound. Try a new dining experience, or consider taking a cooking class.

As a caregiver, you do a lot of pampering. Why not become the pampered instead of the pamperer? Spas, yoga and pilates classes, and massage venues are rich with opportunities to be spoiled, if only for a few hours.

The financial costs of homegrown experiences range from free to five-star; the time costs start at a few minutes to a full day, and you get to choose. The reward on investment can be priceless: your sanity.

©2016 Mike Collins.

Collins is the producer of the video, “Care for the Caregiver,” winner of a National Caregiver Friendly Award from Today’s Caregiver Magazine. For ways to deal with the craziness of caregiving, visit www.crazycaregiver.com .

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health

S K I N H E A LT H

Summer and Your Skin

by Stephen C. King, MD

S

ummer has arrived, and with the warmer weather come outdoor activities—and the occasional sunburn.

Skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States, according to the American Cancer Society. More than 3.5 million skin cancers in more than 2 million people are diagnosed annually.

Skin Cancer Facts

• In 2015, about 73,870 new melanomas were diagnosed (about 42,670 in men and 31,200 in women).

• The risk of melanoma increases with age. The average age at the time it is found is 62, but melanoma is not uncommon even among those younger than 30. In fact, it is one of the most common cancers in young adults (especially young women).

• Between 40 and 50 percent of Americans who live to age 65 will develop skin cancer, either basal cell or squamous cell, at least once.

• Who survives skin cancer? The five-year survival rate for patients whose melanoma is detected early, before the tumor has penetrated the skin, is about 97 percent. The five-year survival rate falls to 15 to 20 percent for those with advanced disease.

Although melanoma is the most dangerous skin cancer, non-melanoma skin cancers (basal cell cancer and squamous cell cancer) are by far the most common of ALL cancer types! Although non-melanoma skin cancers are usually not dangerous, treatment for these cancers can often result in disfiguring scars. Skin cancers are most common in people with light skin who sunburn easily. Protecting yourself from too much sun, and particularly from sunburn, can greatly reduce the chances of getting these common cancers.

Dr. King is a board-certified radiation oncologist with FirstHealth Cancer Care.

For more information on our cancer services, visit www.NCCancerCare.org, www.firsthealth.org/summerskincare or call 800-213-3284.

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You know that being outdoors in the summer is inevitable; just don’t forget to take care of your skin while you are out having fun.

Summer Skin Tips • Avoid direct sun exposure from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

• Always apply sunscreen—a SPF of 30 or higher is recommended, and be sure to apply at least 30 minutes before exposure.

• Stay away from indoor tanning machines.

• Wear protective clothing, including a hat or sunglasses.

• Drink plenty of water to keep hydrated.

And don’t forget to check your skin regularly. It is important to learn about melanoma and other skin cancers so you can prevent and reduce your risk. Let’s take a look at some common myths about melanoma: • MYTH: If your skin tans without burning, you cannot get

skin cancer.

• FACT: Any amount of sun exposure can contribute to the

development of cancer. Even people who do not burn can get melanoma.

• MYTH: One application of sunscreen daily is sufficient

protection.

• FACT: Sunscreen must be applied frequently throughout the

day, especially if it could be washed off by sweat or water.

• MYTH: If a spot that has been on your body for years changes

but hasn’t gotten bigger, it isn’t melanoma.

• FACT: Many melanomas occur in pre-existing spots or moles.

Have a doctor evaluate any areas that have changed.

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health

B R A I N H E A LT H

Mental Strategies To Reduce Chronic Pain

by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP

C

hronic pain has been defined as an unpleasant physical sensation lasting more than three months and reducing daily functioning and well-being, including mental and social health.

Approximately 116 million older adults in the United States live with chronic pain.

Research studies have estimated that more than 50 percent of people with chronic pain also meet criteria for depression, but only 15-20 percent are treated.

Having both depression and chronic pain often leads to decreased activity and a feeling of losing control over one’s life, which then worsens both conditions. Being in pain every day reduces our ability to deal with life’s other stressors and can lead to a feeling of being chronically overwhelmed.

The successful treatment of chronic pain requires treatment on multiple levels, including those provided by your doctor and yourself. The goal is to keep chronic pain from becoming the entire focus of your life.

Traditional treatments for pain relief have not changed much in the past 100 years, and we continue to use antiinflammatories, sedatives, muscle relaxants and opiates.

When taken properly, these medicines can be lifesavers.

In recent years, doctors have begun to offer non-drug treatments for pain, including hot and cold therapy, topical rubs, physical therapy, epidural injections and transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) therapy that utilizes low-voltage electrical current for pain relief.

Here’s some good news. The brain can learn how to manage the sensation of pain. Many people living with chronic pain are starting to add mental strategies such as

biofeedback, relaxation, guided imagery, deep breathing and cognitive behavior therapy to feel less dependent on pain medications and more able to control pain.

The first step in coping with chronic pain is to receive a thorough medical evaluation to determine the cause of the pain. Pain can serve as a warning signal from our brain of impending damage and injury.

Once it is determined why the pain is happening, these two cognitive behavioral therapy strategies—cognitive re-framing and mental distraction—can help you start to reduce pain as early as today.

Cognitive Re-framing Cognitive strategies are based on the belief that our thoughts and behavior shape our reality. In the case of chronic pain, the way we think about our pain, the way we “make sense” of the experience of pain, determines how much the pain affects us. Changing well-worn ways of thinking and acting takes practice and effort but can pay off in a big way.

First, you need to become aware of the messages you habitually give yourself, the dialogue you have with yourself in response to any situation. This tends to be so automatic and routine that we are often not even aware of our self-talk. Spend a day asking yourself, “What am I thinking right now that is making me feel angry, frustrated, sad, ashamed or joyful?” You will be amazed at what happens in the quick gap between a thought and an emotion.

Common themes related to chronic pain include, “This is never going to end, and I can’t do anything, so I might as well just stay here in bed.”

Dr. Sullivan, a clinical neuropsychologist at Pinehurst Neuropsychology, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com.

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Next, ask yourself, “What is the evidence this is true?

Is this is a balanced thought?

Am I considering all the possibilities? Is it really true that I can’t do anything?”

When thinking becomes negative and all-or-nothing, try to offer yourself a positive and balanced coping thought, such as, “Today might start off not so great, but if I can get in a hot shower and stretch a bit, I always manage to have a better day.”

The Power of Distraction Research has shown a significant relationship between focusing on the pain (how bad it hurts) and poor sleep, more anxiety and, in turn, a worsening of pain. When we focus on pain, we have a tendency to catastrophize and only focus on the hurt with thoughts like, “This is so bad that I can’t stand it, and this will never go away.”

By switching our focus away from bodily sensations to something engaging or pleasant, we can reduce the sensation of pain. Try to focus on parts of your body that aren’t in pain and other senses like taste and smell. Listen intently to your favorite music, talk to a friend, watch a bird feeder or spend time with a pet.

Make sure to talk about other topics of conversation with friends and family, not just your physical health.

M a r c e l a . M @ o v m fi n a n c i a l . c o m w w w. Te a m M o v e M o r t g a g e . c o m

JULY 2016 |

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life

GAME ON

Perrys Leave Mark in Baseball

by Thad Mumau

T

here are only two brothers who have both won Cy Young Awards, and they are from North Carolina. Jim and Gaylord Perry were born and grew up in Williamston, which is about 30 miles northeast of Greenville.

The Perrys, both right-handers, combined for 529 major league victories, 10 fewer than the major league record for brothers owned by the knuckleballing Niekros, Phil and Joe. Sons of a sharecropper, Jim and Gaylord were plowing fields behind mules by the time they were 5 or 6 years old. Their family grew tobacco, corn and peanuts and got to keep half of the money the crops brought in.

When the boys could get away, they played baseball wherever they could find a game. They were fortunate that their father not only allowed them time to play but encouraged it.

Because Evan Perry loved baseball, too. He had played it well enough to catch the eye of big league scouts and had the chance to sign a pro contract. The father and sons even played together occasionally in sandlot games.

Jim and Gaylord were sports stars at Williamston High, teaming up to lead the school to the state finals in basketball and baseball. Jim went on to Campbell College (now Campbell University) and pitched so well that the Buies Creek school named its baseball stadium for him.

Jim, who is 80, signed with Cleveland and had a 1210 record as a rookie in 1959. After four years with the Indians, he was traded to Minnesota.

He spent 10 years with the Twins, reaching the pinnacle of his 17-year-career when he had back-toback 20-win seasons. Jim was 20-6 in 1969 and 24-12 with a 3.04 earned run average in 1970, when he was voted the American League Cy Young Award as the best pitcher in the league.

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Jim pitched the 1973 season for Detroit, returned to Cleveland the next year to win 17 games at the age of 38 and finished up his career in Oakland.

Gaylord was the better known pitching Perry. He was more outgoing, quotable and he kept himself in the news, not only winning ballgames but throwing the outlawed spitball. He sometimes admitted throwing a “loaded up” baseball, sometimes denied it and always said just putting the idea in batters’ heads gave him an advantage.

Gaylord, now 78, came up with San Francisco in 1962. He spent 10 years with the Giants, going 21-8 in 1966 and 23-13 in 1970.

Traded to Cleveland, he posted a 24-10 record with a 1.92 ERA in 343 innings in 1972, earning the American League Cy Young Award. He pitched 29 complete games for the first of two straight seasons.

Moving on to San Diego, he went 21-6 with a 2.73 for the Padres in 1973, winning the National League Cy Young Award and making him one of only five pitchers to receive the honor in both leagues.

Gaylord, who also pitched for the Texas Rangers (two different times), New York Yankees, Atlanta Braves, Seattle Mariners and Kansas City Royals, was a real workhorse. He closed out his career at the age of 44.

He threw 5,350 innings over a career that spanned 22 years, pitching more than 300 innings in a season six times. His 314-265 record earned him a plaque in the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.

In 1970, Williamston held a day for the Perry brothers. Barbecue and brunswick stew were served in the high school gym, and a planned parade was called off because of rain. The real treat, of course, was all the old baseball stories.

Those Perry boys have a bunch of them.

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OutreachNC.com 19

life

LITERARY CORNER

‘Girl In The Dark’ and Children’s Books That Inspire Kindness

I

Book Reviews by Cos Barnes & Michelle Goetzl

found Anna Lyndsey’s “Girl in the Dark” to be beautifully written. I had dreaded reading it because my book club had read several depressing novels lately. Can you picture it? (Pardon the pun.) A young woman so intensely sensitive to light she must stay in a dark room deprived of any natural or artificial light, with her only breaks at dusk and dawn?

Her brilliance is displayed by the word games she devises to keep her occupied, and they are not easy games. She struggles to focus on the outward world although she is pretty much a prisoner of the inner one. Still, she maintains interest in plants and flowers that she so rarely sees. Ironically, her husband, Pete, is a photographer who depends on the light, and shares much with her as she struggles to keep her mind alert and her outlook positive.

Their wedding is a humorous affair as it has to be postponed several times.

She found other friends similarly affected by a chronic illness, and gained hope from them as she hoped she also gave to them. Her memoir reads like an epic poem as she describes her different life. Her description of her wardrobe is hilarious as she protects herself from the sun’s rays. How well she describes a life without light is amazing.

Barnes has been writing for OutreachNC since the first publication in 2010 and currently participates in three book clubs. She can be reached at info@outreachnc.com.

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he song “Children Will Listen,” by Stephen Sondheim, begins with the verse, “Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do, children will see and learn.” Following its lead, there is a wealth of children’s books that help reinforce the value of being kind to others.

“Good People Everywhere” is a soothing book that shows how we are all interconnected. Small deeds that people do everyday reverberate with their impact.

“Because Amelia Smiled” also shows how one action sparks off other reactions.

Sticks and stones may break our bones, but in the book “Stick and Stone” they actually stand up for each other. It’s a comical take on the old rhyme that we all grew up hearing and shows kids to stand up for others.

For slightly longer stories, and children willing to listen a little more, “Ordinary Mary’s Extraordinary Deed” and “Someone Loves You, Mr. Hatch” are both books that shine a light on how being kind makes a huge difference.

Finally, for the older child who is ready to go out and do some good, there are two wonderful books by Bernadette Russell: “Do Nice. Be Kind. Spread Happy,” and “Be the Change. Make it Happen.” In these books, Russell encourages children to be special agents of kindness and change. Each book offers more than 80 ideas of good deeds towards others and the planet.

Goetzl writes an online blog—“Books My Kids Read.” She loves books and sharing that love of reading with children. She can be reached at booksmykidsread@gmail.com.

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OutreachNC.com 21

advice

B R A I N H E A LT H

Choosing the ‘Least Evil’ Person as Trustee

W

by Jackie Bedard

hen you create a Revocable Living Trust, you must choose someone to assume the role of trustee after you die or become incapacitated. Of course, this decision is not as simple as picking a favorite uncle or eldest child. Choosing can be difficult.

You may not be especially close to your family members or even have a strained relationship. It’s not uncommon for siblings to drift far apart emotionally and feel like strangers at family gatherings.

If you are unmarried and don’t have a significant other or a close friend to name as trustee, then choosing among relatives presents a really tough problem.

The best advice for those struggling to pick someone from among family and friends as an after-death or disability trustee: “Then, choose the least evil one.” If no one seems perfect for the role, then choose the one that comes closest.

While your older sister might not be your favorite relative, she might be the most logical choice or close relative to handle your affairs compared to other relatives and friends. It’s also OK to choose a cousin with finance experience over a brother that can’t seem to keep a full-time job. Or, maybe your youngest adult child has proven himself as more responsible and reliable than your eldest child.

Duties of a Trustee Before choosing a trustee, it’s important to note the fiduciary duties of the trustee, which include managing assets in the trust in the best interests of beneficiaries and making decisions regarding how assets are invested or released.

You will want assurances the position holder is a responsible person who will carry out your wishes,

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make sound judgments and seek out professional advice when necessary.

A good choice as trustee: • is competent to handle finances and will follow the trust’s instructions; • has adequate time and a genuine interest to take on the role; and • will avoid family conflicts by being unbiased and unemotional when making decisions.

Consider a Professional Adviser While typically this role is assigned to a spouse or relative, you can also name a close friend, business associate, estate planning attorney, professional adviser or a corporate fiduciary. Sometimes, co-trustees are chosen from a combination of these candidates.

Some trusts are complex or may be designed to benefit heirs for many, many years to come.

Banks and trust companies are regulated by the government and can manage trusts for decades.

Their advantages include: • they don’t die or become incapacitated; • they act objectively in following a trust’s instructions; and • they keep good records and have estate administration, tax and investment expertise.

Regardless of whom you choose, the basic qualities of a good trustee are the same: integrity, good judgment and objectivity.

Bedard, an elder law attorney with Carolina Family Estate Planning, can be reached at 919-443-3035 or www.carolinafep.com.

life

B E L L E W E AT H E R

A Writer Realizes a Real Cramp in Her World

I

by Celia Rivenbark

was talking to my tax guy recently, and he said something so shocking that I asked him to repeat it.

“I was going to discuss what happens to your tax situation when you retire,” he said with a little chuckle.

“But then I realized writers never retire. It’s not like you’re just going to stop writing, am I right?”

Well, yes. But I’d never, ever thought about it before. Never retire? I grew up in a textile mill town and that mindset stays with a person. You worked until you turned 65, then you retired and marked the occasion with a few friends, a roasted pig and a keg. A year later, as if by magic, a gently used RV would show up and kill the little strip of grass beside your driveway for 48-52 weeks a year. Right on schedule, 10 years later, the RV would just become just a place to store the grandkids’ Christmas presents, just like God intended.

When I realized that I’d never technically retire, I have to admit it shook me to the core. My tax guy was right. Words were my life. My brain parts began to hurt. (Truthfully, I was OK with the no RV part because, well, camping.)

Writers never retire. My stiffening fingers are having trouble even writing those words right now. I had to ask myself: Does the world really need high-level fart jokes for that long? (Yes.) Will I be gumming grits in the Praying Hands Garden of Despair Nursing Home and grinding out pithy weekly essays about President Beiber? (Why not?)

Just as I was digesting this revelation, I came across an article in Time magazine that said that baby boomers like

me could become “an army of millions of gray-haired people, better educated than any previous generation, armed with unprecedented financial resources and decades of experience, ready to solve the practical problems of life.”

Oy, is it ever enough? While Time quoted experts saying that Boomers should “stop trying to stay young and instead rally to help people who actually are,” I had to laugh. No self-respecting millennial wants advice from a tech-phobic generation whose members think Snapchat is a new kind of cola.

Isn’t it enough that we built postwar America? Do we really have to save the next generation, too? The answer seems to be a study that found boomers are, by choice, more socially isolated than other generations. We have divorced in much greater numbers, rejected family values and traditions and disengaged from social interactions way more than other generations before or since. And now, our lonely rotisserie chickens have come home to roost.

Time reported that if we don’t start playing nice with the young folks, we will almost surely die earlier and alone.

Speaking of which, does this mole look funny to you?

Rivenbark is the author of seven humor collections. Visit her website at www.celiarivenbark.com. ©2016 Celia Rivenbark. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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A Homegrown Old-Time Country Store

by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews

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S

ince 1950, the Dunrovin Country Store has been the place to stop along U.S. 1 South in Vass. Since taking over the iconic business in 2012, Jo and Patrick Milcendeau created an exterior that is an eye-catching array of outdoor plants, decorative flower pots and whimsical yard ornaments. Signs entice passersby to stop for homemade fudge, ice cream, cold drinks, fresh eggs, local honey, Amish foods and gifts galore. Of course, that was Patrick’s plan all along.

“The biggest obstacle was getting people to stop,” Patrick says. “We needed to catch their attention.”

“Patrick is an idea man,” Jo adds. “His mind never sleeps.”

A lot of hard work and dedication has turned the couple’s ideas into reality and brought the store back into its heyday. One of the ways they capture the eyes of those driving by is with the metal yard art. The large metal roosters atop the front entrance and garden center may not actually provide wake-up calls, but they certainly stand out.

“Patrick did all of the signage, awning, landscaping, plumbing, built the water wheel fountain out front … everything,” Jo says. “We’ve poured our heart and soul into it.”

Patrick, who has lived in Moore County for 28 years, was retired from the restaurant business when he shared the idea for the store with Jo. CONTINUED PAGE 26 JULY 2016 |

OutreachNC.com 25

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25

“I was always intrigued by the building,” Patrick says. “I thought it was a great location to make it a great old country store. I had been retired for two years when we decided to do this, but we are not doing it for the money, just for the enjoyment.”

Jo, a retired schoolteacher and native of Wilmington, was ready for her next adventure. Married now for six years, the couple was newly married when they took on the renovation of not only the store but also the house behind it, which makes their commute even easier.

“We enjoy the store so much that we have to make ourselves go home at night to work in the yard,” says Jo, who is anticipating finishing up their sunroom addition to the house for the summer.

The delight of a country store is something the couple want not only their customers to feel, but their employees as well.

“We don’t call this work,” Patrick says. “I want them to have fun, have flexible hours and have ice cream anytime they want it.”

“Our manager Jennifer (Garzo) is God’s gift to us and our customers,” Jo adds. “And she lives right here in Vass.”

Open seven days a week, the couple stocks the shelves with a plethora of items from more than a thousand different vendors, with more than 100 of those being products made in North Carolina.

“We have a huge assortment of soaps, gifts and organic and natural foods,” Jo says. “Patrick likes to order abnormal or unique items like a real turkey foot back scratcher and animal hides. I picked out pretty coffee mugs with a Bible verse, which we still have some, but we sold out of those turkey foot back scratchers,” she says, laughing. “He’s a natural retailer.”

“People really liked the raccoon and fox tails,” Patrick adds, laughing.

“I will pick out things, and Jo picks out things, and mine sell better.”

Pickled items, jams, jellies and food butters are the best sellers, especially the Amish line of products.

A year-round Christmas shop occupies one corner, complete with a wood stove, and a children’s area designed by the primary school teacher herself aims to please the store’s younger clientele, as does the hand-dipped ice cream.

“I told Patrick, ‘We have to have hand-dipped ice cream,’” Jo says.

“And we have people who stop in just for ice cream.”

The couple keeps adding inventory and ways to make coming into the store an experience.

“My favorite part of the store is sitting by the register and going through the catalogs and ordering new items,” Patrick says.

Antiques—old baskets, buckets, tools and the list goes on—that are not for sale adorn the ceiling and nooks and crannies to add to the old-time feel, along with the classic country music playing in the background. An antique register from 1912 sits next to the modern version. A carousel horse next to a round rack of Faro coffee products from Canada seems to suggest you try a pound of the breakfast blend or Colombian.

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“We both like antiques,” Jo says, “but they won’t fit in our little house, so we decided to decorate the store with them.”

Outside, Patrick’s green thumb is on full display. Row upon row of green and blooming plants bursting with color line the shelves of the store’s garden center.

“Patrick waters and talks to the plants like they are his babies,” Jo says, laughing. “And for some reason, he is able to grow palms like nobody’s business.”

Perhaps attracted by the plants and décor outside, locals and travelers alike find it hard to leave once they come inside. There’s so much to look at as well as Patrick’s homemade fudge to sample, gem mining or the chance to just sit a spell on the patio with an ice cream cone.

“It’s definitely a fun place,” Jo says.

“Sometimes, there are 60-yearold kids out there doing the gem Want to go? mining. It’s really is a touch of times Dunrovin Country Store, located gone by.” at 5456 U.S. 1 in Vass, is open People sometimes come in seven days a week, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. because they are visiting and have Call 910-246-0814 or visit been told that Patrick speaks French www.dunrovincountrystore.com . fluently. So it is not unusual to hear a French conversation about the North Carolina weather at the front counter either.

It is these daily conversations with customers that Jo enjoys the most.

“I’m a people person,” Jo says. “I just love and need that interaction with folks, and we found out that Patrick is a people person, too.”

So many Dunrovin visitors have come in to share their memories of the store from back in the day that Jo has begun writing them down.

“One man came in and said his father brought him to the store to buy his first pair of golf shoes, and that changed his life,” Jo recalls. “He told me that he went to college on a golf scholarship. And that’s just one of the stories. This store is part of Moore County’s history.”

JULY 2016 |

OutreachNC.com 27

by Carrie Frye Photography by Diana Matthews

S

ome of the homegrown products made in North Carolina available locally at Dunrovin Country Store in Vass or other retailers across the state. From popcorn and candy to freezer jams and crafts made of horseshoes, there’s something for every taste.

Phillips Brothers Country Ham Asheboro, N.C. Phillips Brothers Country has been producing the best ham, sausage and bacon in North Carolina since 1947.

336-625-4321 www.phillipsbrotherscountryhams.com

C.A Candle Company Benson, N.C. Candles are made with an all-natural soy wax, produced from soybeans.

All candles have a cotton core wick that eliminates the soot rings and are hand-poured into different containers.

919-915-5400 www.cacandlecompany.com

The Palace Green Freezer Jam Cary, N.C. Freezer jam was simply the best style of jam. Some people have a great aunt or other relative who can make it, but what about those who do not?

919-827-7950 | www.thepalacegreen.com

Randy’s Bee Farm Honey Sanford, N.C. Raw honey, extracted and spun from more than 20 hives across western Harnett County.

548 Benhaven School Road | Sanford 919-842-5503 28

OutreachNC.com | JULY 2016

The Carolina Nut Co. Sriracha Ranch Peanuts Henderson, N.C. Using unique handcrafted family recipes, The Carolina Nut Co. creates gourmet snacks and flavored nuts. Family-owned and located in Henderson, they have been creating delicious gourmet and flavored nuts for more than 60 years.

800-445-1404 | www.carolinanut.com

Vintage Bee Creamed Honey Durham, N.C. Vintage Bee specializes in raw honey products, focusing on quality over quantity. A specialized and natural process with all of its honey ensures it is maintained in its raw and unadulterated state.

919-699-6788 | www.vintagebee.com

Tay’s Sweet ‘N Sassy Southern BBQ Sauce Cameron, N.C. Chad’s Carolina Corn Greensboro, N.C. Chad’s Carolina Corn is a family business with a singular purpose: make the best popcorn in the world. Carolina Mix is a Chicago-style cheese and caramel mixed popcorn.

A mix of the west and east sides of North Carolina, making a perfect blend. Sweet ‘N Sassy sauce has all the great taste of Sweet ‘N Smokey with a habanero kick.

910-695-5177 | www.tayssauce.com

336-313-9757 www.chadscarolinacorn.com

Atkinson’s Milling Company Selma, N.C. Quality cornmeal products produced at Johnson County mill since before the American Revolution.

800-948-5707 | www.atkinsonmilling.com

Carolina Candy Gourmet Toffee Wilmington, N.C. T. P. Crafts Horseshoe Crafted Table Carthage, N.C.

Carolina Candy’s gourmet toffee is made by hand with fresh pecans, butter and sugar, topped with a blanket of premium dark chocolate.

Made locally by Terry Palmiter from used horseshoes.

866-794-9905 www.carolinacandy.com

910-947-3234 JULY 2016 |

OutreachNC.com 29

life

COOKING SIMPLE

Watermelon Blueberry Salad with Feta

by Rhett Morris | Photography by Amy Natt

Ingredients

4 cups watermelon, cubed 2 cups blueberries ½ cup Paradox Farm Feta cheese, crumbled 8 mint leaves

Directions

Thinly slice 6 mint leaves, and place in a bowl. Add honey, lemon, chili flakes, salt and pepper, and whisk until blended. Add melon, berries and feta. Mix well, serve in a bowl and garnish with mint leaf. You can also slice melon into half-inch thick pieces and slice feta for a stacked version of the salad. This fruit salad is a great complement to grilled chicken or fish.

¼ cup local honey ¼ lemon juice ½ teaspoon red pepper chili flakes ½ teaspoon kosher salt ½ teaspoon black pepper

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Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering, is an award-winning chef, specializing in Southern gourmet fare with fresh ingredients. He can be reached at 910-695-3663 or rhett@rhettsrpcc.com.

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OutreachNC.com 31

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BETTER WITH AGE SERIES

by Carrie Frye Photography by Robyn Gentile

Bodie Island Lighthouse Circa 1871

D

eemed the “Graveyard of the Atlantic,” the precarious waters off the coastline of the Outer Banks have claimed many a ship. The plights of sea captains and lost ships prompted the U.S. government to deploy Lieutenant Napoleon L. Coste to North Carolina in 1837 to scope out the perfect location for another beacon of light to complement that offered by the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse.

Once the site was secured, a decade of delays and faulty construction left the initial Bodie Island Lighthouse leaning and abandoned in 1859. The second lighthouse constructed on the site, although stable, was imploded by Confederate forces to keep it out of the Union’s control during the Civil War in 1861.

These coastal waters remained dark for another decade until the third commissioned lighthouse was set for construction on a 15-acre parcel north of the inlet, purchased for a mere $150 in 1871. Equipped with a Fresnel lens in late 1872 within its black lantern iron top, this brick and stone structure was painted with black and white bands and stands 170 feet tall.

CONTINUED PAGE 34

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VIEW FROM THE TOP Located at 8210 Bodie Island Lighthouse Road in Nags Head, the Bodie Island Light Station is open daily for climbing from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. for a nominal fee. For more information, visit www.nps.gov/caha/planyourvisit/bils.htm or call 252-441-5711.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 33

Having survived wind, rain and hurricanes, Bodie Island, pronounced “body” for the name of the original landowners, is not actually on an island, but instead four miles north of Oregon Inlet.

Electrified in 1932, the Bodie Island Light Station is one of only a dozen remaining brick towers, and it still serves as a navigational aid.

Renovations completed in 2013 provided for the lighthouse’s structural integrity for years to come.

Visitors who flock to the Outer Banks to climb its 214 steps spirally to the top have a bird’s eye view of the inlet and Cape Hatteras National Seashore.

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Carolina ns o i t a s r e Conv

with ary N.C. Liter uthor A e m a F f all o

H

ON T R E G D E CLYDE umau

by Thad M Cl a r k K ather ine y b y h p ra g Photo

I

f Clyde Edgerton was not so busy moving forward, it would be mighty easy for him to get caught up in his past. Because it is a life jam-packed with tremendous accomplishments and honors. The most recent is being selected to the North Carolina Literary Hall of Fame. That does not happen officially until Oct. 16, when he, Margaret Maron and Carl Sandberg will join 57 currently enshrined inductees in a ceremony at the Weymouth Center for the Arts and Humanities in Southern Pines.

Currently a professor at the University of North Carolina-Wilmington, Edgerton is the author of 12 books, including “Raney,” “Walking Across Egypt,” “The Floatplane Notebooks” and “Lunch at the Piccadilly.”

A native of Durham, Edgerton graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill and was a fighter pilot while serving in the Air Force. He was also the recipient of the distinguished Guggenheim Fellowship for Creative Arts and has a street in Kernersville named for him.

CONTINUED PAGE 36

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 35

ONC: Did you grow up loving books and reading? If so, who was responsible for that?

CE: We had the Bible in our house. Starting about

seventh grade, I received a monthly magazine called Boys Life. And about that time I started reading paperback books. When I was very small, my mother read Bible stories to me out of a book called “Aunt Charlotte’s Bible Stories.” In the novel “Where Trouble Sleeps,” I created a facsimile of that book.

I started realizing a new world was available through the printed word when I started reading Ralph Waldo Emerson in high school. After that, through college and later on, came Hemingway, Twain, Crane, Welty, Flannery O’Connor, Richard Wright, James Baldwin, Toni Morrison, Jill McCorkle, Lee Smith, Alan Gurganus, Larry Brown, Cormac McCarthy, and Lewis Norton, to name some of the main influences. The problem is I leave some of the best out—for example, Mark Richard, Mary Hood, Vic Miller, and others.

As a boy, what did you want to be some day?

As a boy, I wanted to be first, a fireman, second, a cowboy, third, an airplane pilot. I was able to fulfill the third wish.

Was it your aim to live in North Carolina your entire life or move somewhere else?

I have always felt comfortable and at home in North Carolina, especially among people who grew up in North Carolina. I grew up in the Piedmont, now live on the coast, and I love to visit the mountains in the northwest corner of the state. There are good and bad stories from all over, just like from all over the world, but the actual land and geography in North Carolina, except where we have forests that have been overcut, like in sections in the mid-southern parts of the state, is welcoming and in many ways, moderate.

Who was the strongest influence on you?

Clearly, my mother. She had a way of pushing me out into the world and sheltering me at the same time. I always felt safe with her and with the people in my small Southern Baptist church in Bethesda, North Carolina.

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Were there college courses or professors that changed you?

There was an English class when I was a sophomore at UNC-Chapel Hill in 1963. In that class I read a novel, “A Farewell To Arms,” by Ernest Hemingway. That book started me on the path to becoming a fiction writer. It is ironic, perhaps, that I went through a war, as did Ernest, and one of my deepest wishes after that experience of warfare was that we might someday say a farewell to arms —or at least, as human beings, be less eager, even hungry, to shout war-like cries across the hills and valleys of the world.

demonstrates —that is, a study that examines facts, not fantasies. The lack of such factual study can help lead Americans to the large-scale embracing of strange national leaders.

When and how did you decide to write a novel?

I started out writing short stories.

Then one day my aunt came unannounced and unexpected into my home—to leave my wife and me a note. That event, I knew, made my wife from Atlanta a little more uncomfortable than it made me. I was the country spouse; my wife was the city spouse.

I suddenly saw the clear and unmistakable clash of two very different subcultures of the South.

That clash led to my first novel, “Raney.”

Are some of your characters based on folks you loved or disliked or just found funny?

And then there was Sterling Hennis. He was my adviser as an undergrad and grad student at UNC-Chapel Hill. Without going into details, I can say he gave me insights and opportunities to change my life in major ways. There were other important professors who greatly inspired me.

Fighter pilot has a heroic ring to it. What’s your memory of doing that?

My memory of being a fighter pilot is twofold: No. 1, the adrenaline charges that I experienced and will never experience again (until I die, perhaps). No. 2, human beings can be barbaric, regardless of their nationality. Some human beings can never see that their reason and insight are blinded by a bright spotlight of nationalistic fervor. It’s happened before, on large scales, as a short study of history

Some of my characters are based on people I knew or know. But it’s important to realize that these fictional characters take on personalities, ethics, moralities, points of view that, as I write about them, become their very own. They become for me a new person in the world, a fiction world that can seem to me as real as the real world.

The way you develop characters is really special. Does that come easily for you?

I think that my habit of translating real things into fictional things is helpful. I learned from Mr. Faulkner that writers have three treasure chests that act as tool chests.

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 37

One is called experience, one is called observation and knowledge, and the other is called imagination. As you pull your tools, ideas, personalities, facts and imaginings from one box, you have your eye on the other two boxes.

Are your books snatches of life and folks as you have observed them in the South?

My books include snatches of life, habits, norms, attitudes that I have observed in the South and in other places where people have hearts in their chests that aren’t that different from the hearts of Southerners. As I write a story, a theme develops. That is, I begin to learn what the story is about.

That’s when my story starts moving toward a final mold. Sometimes the theme has to shift a bit in order to fit my people and what they want to do.

I think we, in the South, see so much of the past as romantic and ideal. Does that make writing about it more enjoyable?

There is much about the South that is seen as romantic and ideal. Much of this is a lie; some of it isn’t. It is in individual family stories where you find heroic acts. Much “official” history of the South, especially “antebellum” stuff written by Southerners, is malarkey. It’s insightful, fun and healthy to read and study wellresearched and well-written history.

Since North Carolina is your home state, do you lean toward glorifying it in your stories?

That is possible. It is difficult not to glorify a person’s home, if that person has fond memories of it. As human beings, it is important for us to generalize. If we could not generalize, then we would not have survived as a species. We generalize about all 38

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kinds of things so that we can organize our day, our week, our year. But then we start generalizing about concepts and words—like “conservative,” “liberal,” “republican,” “Baptist,” “African-American,” “White,” “Hispanic,” “Muslim”—that’s when we, in my view, may lose the precision that could make us more equitable and gentle—more likely to give the dreams in our Constitution a better chance of seeing the light of day.

Do you ever change a plot path or a character’s personality in midstream?

I do sometimes change a plot path or a character’s personality. One way I change a character’s personality is to kill them off in one book and thus save them for another book. That has happened before. I’ve also on occasion changed a plot path by putting up a detour sign and then running my road into the ocean so that my novel drowns, dies and never sees the light of day.

Which of your books is your favorite, and why?

This is a hard question to answer, but if all my books were in a boat and I had to throw all of them out except for one, the one I would keep is “The Floatplane Notebook.” It is the closest to my family, my favorite family stories, my deep feelings about war.

Are there authors whose books you especially like to read?

I especially like to read and reread the books of Lewis Nordon. I like to reread the stories of Flannery O’Connor. There are dozens of Hispanic and African-American writers that I would like to read before I die. That’s a big gap in my reading education thus far.

In teaching creative writing, what are a couple key tips you give?

The main key tip I give as a creative writing teacher is this: Never accept any advice which doesn’t make sense to you. Another key tip is to pull on your own imagination, your own experience, your own observation as you write stories.

Are you working on your next book? If so, can you share anything about it?

My next book has two tentative titles: “Raney vs. the Board of Education,” and second title is “First Come, First Serve, Last Come, No Serve.” The main source for the story will be my experiences in the field of education —as teacher, parent, citizen and observer. The main problem will be dampening down facts which seem to me to be too fantastic to work in fiction.

Do you have a writing schedule, or do you write as ideas come to you?

The best time for me to write is early in the morning.

And when I’m working well, that usually means five or six days a week. I am always keeping notebooks and jotting down notes—now in my iPhone.

What are other things you enjoy doing?

I like to oil paint. And I like to play blues piano and bluegrass banjo whenever I get a chance. I like to spend time talking with my wife—as well as hiking with her, and cooking, eating and other things. I like spending time with my children, and I like to discuss ideas with them.

What do you count as your greatest accomplishment?

My greatest accomplishment includes, most recently, the tutoring of a child in a Title I public school. I am in the process of trying to begin to determine the breadth and depth of a practice of not tutoring children considered “too slow” in Title I schools. It sounds crazy, but I’ve recently discovered that it is, in fact, happening. Too slow for what? Too slow for learning or too slow for raising test scores? I may be missing something but I don’t think I am. “No Child Left Behind but the slower ones” seems an odd and scary practice. I hope it’s not a wave of the future.

One of my other greatest accomplishments is being chair of the Arts Council in Wilmington. We are in the middle of raising funds. Our cause, our programs, our beliefs bring together people and artists (sometimes struggling) from all walks of life, all ages, all religions, all political beliefs—we support the arts in southeastern N.C. Please consider joining us or contributing at www.artscouncilofwilmington.org .

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W

hile a great sandwich can be a delight and a comfort, being a member of the Sandwich Generation can be its own special kind of heaven or a special kind of hell…often at the same time. If you have children and are also a caregiver for an older family member or friend, you are a member of the Sandwich Generation.

According to Today’s Caregiver Magazine, “the typical American Sandwich Generation Caregiver is a woman in her mid-40s, married, employed and caring for her family and an elderly parent, usually her mother.”

Here are seven tips for dealing with the squeeze of Sandwich Generation responsibilities:

1

Tips for Coping with 7 Sandwich Generation Stress

by Mike Collins

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You Take Care of You! Believe it or not (and, if you are a typical caregiver, you won’t), you are the most important person in this triangle of you, the one you are caring for and your family. If you fall apart, the triangle falls apart. Look for time for yourself, even short chunks of getaway time. Take twice as long to go to the grocery store and spend some time on your own.

Better yet, assign someone else to do the shopping.

Take care of yourself, physically. Drink more water! Get extra rest whenever you can, and get a little exercise on a regular basis.

2

Look at the Big Picture. What’s your situation?

What are the ages of your children? What is the condition of the one for whom you are caring? How much can your family do for you? Yes, you’ll get some push back—maybe even from your husband, if you are a wife, but this is a wonderful opportunity to teach responsibility. How is this having an impact on your finances? Is the health of your loved one static, improving or deteriorating? If things stay the same, what’s your situation in the next 12, 24 or 36 months? How has this situation impacted the life you expected to have?

3

Hold a Family Meeting. Getting through this time in a positive way depends on communication.

Schedule a time to meet, and make sure everyone gets time to offer their opinions. Small children seldom have filters and often speak from their feelings. Some of the greatest truths of the situation may come from the kids.

Keep emotions to a minimum, because you’re simply trying to get everyone’s opinion on the table so you can come up with a plan. Then, meet with each person individually to talk about the situation.

The right dentist can make all the difference.

4

Put Your Head on a Swivel. Coaches often tell

athletes, especially in football, to “put your head on a swivel,” so they can look around for opportunities and threats. Look around for professional help and available resources. Councils on Aging, caregiver support groups, and Aging Life CareTM Professionals are all available.

Talk to people at your church who are in the same situation. Caregivers in rural settings often find it a challenge to obtain professional help, so create as long a list as possible of friends or other family members, churches and social groups that might be of assistance.

5

Oh, That’s Right, I’m Married. Studies show that the quality of a marriage—plus or minus—can have a huge impact on the caregiver’s stress level. Good marriages see caregiving experiences as ways to grow closer. Stressful marriages see the issue as one more negative thing in a long list. Find ways to separate your marriage from the situation. Carve out a date night, take a weekend off together, look for even one hour each evening you can just be married, not caregiving. The basic mistake spouses make in a caregiving situation is assuming that the other spouse will understand if one can’t focus on the other like before. Perhaps that strategy works in the short term, but after awhile, it wears thin.

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6

Look for the Good Stuff. While it may be a

challenge, looking for the lessons, the high points, and the positives in a caregiving situation supports a more healthy way to work through the experience. There are always positive lessons to learn about love, compassion, caring and, yes, humor in caregiving situations.

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There Will Be Trying Times. No one’s life is blue birds and lemonade all day, every day. There will be times when things go wrong, people get upset (often for the simplest, seemingly most ridiculous things), doors slam, tears flow and the feeling that “this is just not working,” is the overwhelming emotion. Take a step back. Collect your thoughts, and go back to Step No. 1.

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Local Honey & Your Health

by Jennifer Webster Photography by Diana M atthews

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The golden goodness of local honey may also be great for your health—in moderation, of course.

M

ade by bees out of regurgitated flower nectar, honey has been a favorite of humans since ancient times. Not only is it tasty and sweet, honey has long been thought to have medicinal properties. Some stand up to scientific scrutiny, some … not so much. Still, using honey as a sweetener is a great way to support the local economy and keep nearby beekeepers in business.

Honey’s main ingredients are fructose and glucose, both common sugars found in nature. It contains trace amounts of iron, potassium, riboflavin and B vitamins. Honey resists microorganisms—it rarely spoils —though it can contain C. botulinum, the bacteria that causes botulism.

Healing with Honey One of honey’s most venerable claims to fame is as a disinfectant. It contains very small amounts of hydrogen peroxide, which can kill germs.

A 2013 literature review found that many studies supported honey’s “antioxidant, antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties” when applied on gauze to wounds and burns. In these studies, honey was about as effective or slightly more effective than conventional treatments. A 2008 Cochrane review, which included studies of honey applied to lacerations, chronic wounds, surgical wounds and burns, had similar findings.

Anti-Allergen?

Fans of honey often promote the local variety as an allergy remedy—take honey made from the pollen of plants you’re allergic to, the theory goes, and you’ll suffer fewer sniffles. Many holistic health sources support this theory; however, scientific consensus is mixed. Some studies find that people who take local honey see reduced seasonal allergies; some, not so much.

One of the most convincing recent studies concerns birch pollen honey.

When birch allergy sufferers took birch pollen honey during allergy season, they needed slightly less allergy medicine than people who took regular honey, and significantly less antihistamines than those who did not consume honey at all. Their overall symptoms were reduced by about 60 percent.

One allergy caveat: some patients who are severely allergic to bees also have allergic reactions to honey, so if bee stings make you swell or break out, ask your doctor before consuming too much honey.

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Honing in on Honey Farmers markets and artisanal farms often feature local honey. Your local county N.C. Cooperative Extension office or beekeepers’ clubs can point you toward vendors or even advise you as you start your own hive. In our neck of the woods, check out:

Buck Naked Farm, Moncure

www.bucknakedfarmnc.com Order honey online or visit website to see where to buy.

Holly Springs Farmers Market

Saturdays, 8:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m., May-Oct. 15.

128 South Main Street | Holly Springs 919-567-4010

Moore County Farmers Market CONTINUED FROM PAGE 43

Cough, Be Gone!

If your child or grandchild has a cold, honey may be just as good as over-the-counter cough syrup for his or her symptoms. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that honey eases nighttime coughing in children and—a blessing for the parent or grandparent —helps them get back to sleep.

Beekeepers Jeff and Mary Stone of Wagram Apiary say that they have clients who take honey for asthma and COPD, too. And any sore throat sufferer who’s tried a cup of tea with honey can attest to its soothing, throat-coating properties.

Savor, But Use Common Sense Folks with compromised immune systems, such as people undergoing chemotherapy, might want to avoid raw honey due to the possibility of botulism, although, according to the National Library of Medicine, pasteurized honey is safe for this population. Infants younger than one year also should not consume honey of any kind.

Finally, honey is wonderfully sweet—a sure reminder that it’s composed of sugars. In fact, it has more calories per teaspoon (20 versus 15) than table sugar. Whether you substitute honey for your usual sweetener to avoid allergies or just because you love the taste, remember that this is one healthy food to be enjoyed, like all good things, in moderation.

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Multiple locations: FirstHealth Pinehurst, Monday, 2–5:30 p.m., April–October; 604 West Morganton Road, Southern Pines, Thursday, 9 a.m.–1 p.m., year round; and Downtown Southern Pines, Saturday, 8 a.m.–noon, April–October.

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Ninja Cow Farm, Raleigh

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Paul’s Produce of Fayetteville

Monday-Saturday: 9 a.m.-6 p.m.

1010 Marlborough Road | Fayetteville 910-484-4794

Rockingham Farmers Market

Saturday, 8 a.m.–noon, May–October 100 Biltmore Drive | Rockingham 910-997-8255

State Farmers Market

Monday-Saturday, 5 a.m.–6 p.m.; Sunday, 8 a.m.–6 p.m.

1201 Agriculture Street | Raleigh 919-733-7417

Troy Farmers Market

Thursday, 3:30–6:30 p.m., April–Thanksgiving 417 North Main Street | Troy 910-576-6011

Wagram Apiary

Monday–Friday, 8:30 a.m.–2 p.m.

1220 N. Main Street | Laurinburg 910-266-9686

Aged Barrels Crafted into Flags Honor Service

by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews

W

ith the summer sun’s rays shining down, an American flag gently sways in the breeze across the front porch of Navy Commander Tom Nesbit, a Vietnam veteran. With a surprised smile and gleam in his eyes, Nesbit accepted a handcrafted, wooden state flag of North Carolina in honor of his service from The Heritage Flag Company owner Heath Trigg.

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“I met Mr. and Mrs. Nesbit through their son,” says Trigg, who built the couple’s Moore County home. “It was a dream build for me. They were actually still living in Tennessee at the time, and we developed a great friendship. He’s stern, but he’s the man, and it’s always, ‘Yes, sir.’”

A native North Carolinian born at Fort Bragg and the son of an Army ranger, Nesbit, who retired after serving in 48 states and 26 different countries, now calls Southern Pines home.

“My dad was in France and Belgium during World War II,” Nesbit recalls. “He said, ‘Go in the Navy, and you’ll know where you’re going to sleep and what you’re going to eat.’ And that sounded good to me.”

Nesbit did just that, graduating from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1966 and receiving his orders to the USS Yorktown in Long Beach, California.

“My oldest son was born in November 1967, and I deployed in December 1967 on my first wedding anniversary to Vietnam. We were on our way when the (USS) Pueblo was captured by North Korea in the Sea of Japan.

It was an intelligence-collecting ship and the crew was taken as POWs, so we ended up heading there to see if we could help.”

From there, it was on to Vietnam and flight school for Nesbit.

“I had 20/20 vision, but I had a refracted area, and the doctor said I couldn’t be a pilot but instead a naval flight officer, which means I couldn’t fly the airplane,” Nesbit remembers. “So I said, ‘If I can’t fly the airplane, I want to be in P-3s.’”

A Lockheed P-3 is the Navy’s four-engine, anti-submarine and surveillance aircraft.

“A P-3 has a crew of 12,” Nesbit explains.

“What we did mostly was track Soviet submarines from 20,000 feet. That was our primary mission.”

During the Vietnam War and aboard a P-3, the crew would look for boats off the coast of Vietnam that were trying to smuggle weapons in to the enemy.

“We’d track the boats, and then jets would take off from a carrier and go sink them,” Nesbit says. “I did three tours in Vietnam, but never set foot on the soil.

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These barrels started their journey to be a flag a long time ago...

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“We tracked Soviet submarines,” Nesbit says. “The Soviets had a sub called the Yankee, which was a ballistic missile submarine. They would come over to Seattle and come down the coast over by Hawaii and then go back home. It had missiles that could reach the Mississippi, so we wanted to know where they were. In case something happened, we could sink them. Never did though. I was actually the first person to catch one off the coast of the U.S. near Hawaii. I had tracked it, and our crew went out to catch it. We would just track it, sit up there and drop buoys.

“We would drop a buoy into the water from 200 feet or 20,000 feet, wherever we were,” he says.

“When it hits the water, it activates, and an antenna pops up with a microphone.

The depth of the microphone would depend on where the submarine was located. We would just listen to everything in the water, and the antenna would transmit back to the airplane whatever frequencies it hears. The only way they would know we were there was if they popped up a periscope, and they don’t like to do that, or if a satellite would see us. We kept track of the satellites to avoid that.”

Rising through the ranks, Nesbit served a year as executive officer before taking on the role of commanding officer of a P-3 in 1982.

“The 81 was my airplane, the VP8 Tigers,” he says, holding a prized replica in his “man cave” of military memorabilia. “It was awesome, the best year of my life.

When I was a commanding officer, we were deployed to Bermuda. That was tough,” he adds with a sly smile.

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Nesbit spent that year tracking Soviet submarines on the East Coast.

“The Soviets had three subs that would come around Iceland and Greenland and all the way down the coast to Bermuda and come back up,” he says. “If you knew where one was, you knew where the other two were, because they were evenly spaced. We were selected as the best squadron in the Navy during my year as a commanding officer.”

Nesbit’s naval career then took him to Nashville, Tennessee, to lead recruiting efforts there until he retired from the military.

“I would always recommend the Navy, and if you pick something else, you’ve made a mistake,” he says, laughing.

“It’s the most fun you can have with your pants on.”

Now, Nesbit only has to decide where to have Trigg hang his new North Carolina Heritage Flag among his decorated walls.

“The best part about serving was always the people,” Nesbit adds with a quick nod of his head toward Trigg and the flag.

“This is special.”

Providing these handcrafted wooden flags to veterans is something in which Trigg takes great pride. The first American flag he created was from a double whiskey barrel as a thank you gift for his retired military clients at Southern Pines Brewing Company, who had hired him to build a bar out of whiskey barrels.

The double flag meticulously pieced together from the aged whiskey barrels hangs in the brewery’s taproom and almost immediately changed Trigg’s life and business. Flag orders simply began to pour in.

“We didn’t plan on this being a business at all,” Trigg says. “What it has taught me the most is about the sacrifice of not only the service members but their families. I’m just a civilian, and each flag is a constant reminder of the sacrifices made.”

Heritage Flag now busts 400 or more whiskey barrels a week. The staves of the barrels are then categorized and organized to begin monitoring the moisture content and drying process. It may take up to five weeks to complete the drying process before the staves can become the individual pieces of a flag.

Making the flags out of whiskey barrels is a process for which Trigg holds a U.S. patent.

“Every single flag is made by hand and truly one of a kind,” he says. “These barrels started their journey to be a flag a long time ago. Whiskey is very American, so there is history and heritage in each barrel, and it’s not possible for any two flags to be the same.”

Eleven local craftsmen and Trigg’s hands touch every Heritage Flag hundreds of times before each leaves his downtown Southern Pines facility to be shipped across the country and the world.

From presentations at Arlington National Cemetery to a local veteran and friend like Cmdr.

Nesbit, Trigg is readying for another special flag presentation. This one is set to come after a threeweek, coast-to-coast motorcycle Ride for the Fallen fundraiser in August.

Trigg will carry a special 50 gold star handcrafted Heritage flag with him on the ride. This flag will be the only one of its kind made and delivered at the ride’s completion. The gold star flag represents service members who gave their lives—the ultimate sacrifice—for our country.

Every story of service, like Cmdr. Nesbit’s, that comes with each flag ordered or given in-kind inspires Trigg. The work goes on as the finishing touches are applied to the 50 gold star flag. Standing inside Trigg’s warehouse that holds stack after stack of organized staves and stations bustling with tools, the sun shines a gleam of light across the massive American flag hanging on the back wall.

“To do what we do,” he says, “and honor the sacrifices that people make, keeps us going every day.”

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OutreachNC.com 49

?

How does your

GROW

by Rachel Stewart | Photography by Katherine Clark

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ummer is the perfect time to soak up the sun and enjoy being outdoors. It’s also a wonderful time to grow fresh fruits and veggies in your back yard. Homegrown produce is typically more nutrient-rich than its commercially grown counterparts, and working outside is a great way to stay active during the warmer months. With a little bit of careful planning, you can cut down on trips to the grocery store or farmers market.

To get started, pick a small area that’s perfect for what you’re growing. Some produce grows better in shaded areas, while other vegetables need sunlight. Research each food item carefully before determining if your yard or porch is the right spot to get growing.

Once you’ve found the perfect spot, customize it so you’re always comfortable when working in your garden. Raised garden beds or large upright flower pots make it easier to bend over when weeding and watering plants, which is easier on the knees and back. Make sure to invest in a good pair of gardening gloves to keep your hands clean and cut-free, as well as a wide-brimmed hat to protect your face from the sun’s ultraviolet rays. If you’re new to gardening, take breaks as you go if you’re planting multiple crops.

5 Easy Foods to Grow This Summer

1

Tomatoes. These ruby red beauties grow easily in sunny spots with lots of water. If growing in a small pot, use a trellis to encourage upward growth and keep the fruit from lying on the ground.

Pick a few tomatoes to make a quick bowl of salsa or spend all day making marinara sauce—you can freeze the leftovers to enjoy all fall and winter.

2 3

Cucumbers. Crunchy, refreshing cucumbers need warm soil and plenty of sun to grow

properly in the summertime. If you give your crops lots of TLC, you’ll also have plenty of these green cukes to pickle, add to salads or use for tea sandwiches.

Lettuce. Skip the pre-bagged lettuce mix and grow your own. It takes just a week to grow a head

of lettuce - and you can keep growing it until the first frost of fall. Advantages to growing lettuce in your back yard include being able to pick just what you need, whether it’s for a supper salad or to go with burgers on the grill.

4 5

Peppers. Mild or hot, red or green, peppers of all varieties thrive in warm environments. Once

planted, these crispy, crunchy veggies grow in as little as two months. Swap crackers out for pepper spears when serving dips or hummus, or sauté chopped peppers with onions and lean protein for fajitas.

Blackberries. These juicy berries thrive in warm environments, but are also hardy enough to sustain the chill of fall later in the year. Start small by planting one bush in a sunny area where the soil stays moist. It can take up to a year for berries to come to fruition, so be patient if you’re getting a late start this year - or plan ahead for next year. When your berries do come in, pick a few each morning for your morning bowl of yogurt or mix into pancake batter for a naturally sweet breakfast treat.

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Short on Space? Think Tiny!

Just because you don’t have a spacious back yard doesn’t mean you can’t try your hand at gardening. Rethink your space with these techniques: • Fill your windowsill. Herbs are perfectly happy growing indoors. You can even try regrowing vegetable scraps, such as celery or green onions. Just clip what you need and your herbs and veggies will continue to flourish. Have empty window boxes? You can also plant herbs and veggies there instead of flowers.

• Gather up containers. Tiny flower pots, vertical planters, or even a little red

wagon can be used to plant produce in small spaces and are easy to move if your plants need more or less sun or rain. Old wooden pallets and cloth shoe holders can take your gardening up a wall - literally - if you are short on ground space.

• Hang your garden high. Hanging planters aren’t just for ferns. Strawberries,

herbs, and cherry tomatoes can grow off the ground and offer a lovely sight for your front porch or back deck or patio.

• Repurpose other items. Coffee cans, small sand pails or even a shallow kiddie pool can be used to grow fruits and veggies. Dig through your storage shed or kitchen for items that could be the basis of your micro garden.

Safely Storing and Saving Your Bounty If there’s a downfall to having a successful crop, it would be having too much of a food to eat at one time. Knowing how to prep and preserve foods from your garden can allow you to enjoy them for weeks and even months to come. Canning is a complex, step-filled process.

Here are some quick ways to help your bounty last a little longer without much work:

• Freezing. One of the easiest and most straightforward ways to save fruits and veggies

is to freeze them. Chop them up and label each freezer bag or container. Chopping ahead of time can cut down on meal prep later in the year when you’re ready to defrost or add to soups, casseroles, or desserts, depending on the ingredient. Frozen berries can do double duty by replacing ice cubes in fruit smoothies, or be thawed and used in pies or cakes.

• Fridge pickles. Unlike pickles made with traditional techniques, fridge pickles

can be quickly made and eaten. Just cut up fresh veggies—cucumbers, onions, even carrots or peppers—add vinegar, sugar, and spices and put in the fridge. Your pickles should last up to one month.

• Fridge jams. Another shortcut for traditional preserving, just boil down the

fresh fruit of your choice with sugar and lemon juice until it thickens. Let cool and decant into sealable jars. If you’re eating right away, you’ll have a week to finish the jar. Unopened jars can keep for a couple of months.

• Infusing alcohol. Who doesn’t love a refreshing cocktail during the summer months?

Add berries to vodka or citrus peel to gin. Enjoy throughout the summer or save a bottle for the cold winter months—then use the boozy fruit in a warm fruit compote or drunken fruit cobbler.

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DAV 5K

T

by Carrie Frye

he Moore County Chapter 83 of the Disabled American Veterans held its DAV 5K Run to Honor Veterans last month at the Moore County Veterans Memorial in Carthage. A number of runners, walkers and even strollers raced for the cause. DAV provides support to local veterans and their families, such as transportation to medical appointments or organizing clothing and food drives.

The Moore County Chapter 83 was also named the Small Chapter of the Year for 2015-16 at the group’s state convention in Greensboro last month.

Mark your calendar for June 3, 2017, for the DAV 5K, held annually the first Saturday in June. To find and support your local chapter of DAV, visit www.dav.org.

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Civil War Center Designed for 21st Century

by David Hibbard Photography courtesy of Museum of the Cape Fear

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L

ittle remains of the old Confederate arsenal on Haymount Hill in Fayetteville, save for some stones and a few old bricks in the ground that outline the footprint of its former structure. Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his army made sure of that when they rolled into Fayetteville in March 1865, laying waste to a weapons depot that was the pride of the city as well as the Confederacy. Beyond those scant pieces of evidence, there’s little else to recall the edifice that once stood here or the destruction that ultimately befell it.

But soon, this site will come alive again with the construction of the North Carolina Civil War History Center, (depicted above in artist’s renderings) an ambitious $65 million project that will be the first of its kind in the nation. Much more than a museum, organizers say a focus on the facts and telling the stories of a cross section of North Carolinians will help elevate the discussion of our state’s role in the War Between the States.

“We can play a pivotal role and get out in front of this discussion,” says Mac Healy, a Fayetteville business owner who chairs an 18-person board of directors that is overseeing the project. “This center will not be about particular battles; we want to present the facts, the truth, to tell North Carolina’s stories from the Civil War.” In addition to the directors, a larger board of advisers composed primarily of historians and scholars has worked hard to examine the scholarship available on North Carolina’s role in the Civil War. Because issues like slavery and secession are complex and sometimes hotly debated, Healy says it’s especially important that the center present the facts in an unvarnished, unbiased manner.

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“We can’t ignore those issues,” Healy says. “But we have to address them. After all, a good museum or history center doesn’t just reinforce your thoughts. It makes you think a little bit.”

Another key element is the effort to collect stories related to the Civil War from all 100 counties.. The center hopes to tell the story of the war from the perspective of many different people—soldiers, women, children, African-Americans both freed and enslaved, and many others—to paint a comprehensive picture of the state’s experience of the war.

Fundraising for the center was jump-started in 2014 with a half-million-dollar grant from the Cumberland County Foundation. The site, located adjacent to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Parkway, also includes three historic homes, a plaza for outdoor events and ruins from the old arsenal. The planned two-story, 65,000 square-foot center will house a main exhibit area, rotating galleries, and an auditorium and classrooms for conferences, symposia and seminars.

While the center will display artifacts from the Civil War as part of its collection, it will be a far cry from the “collection museums” most of us remember from school field trips of yesteryear.

HAPPY JULY 4th from

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“We consider ourselves a teaching museum, a teaching center,” says Winston-Salem consultant David Winslow, who has been involved with the project since its early stages.

Technology will play an integral role in creating interactive displays and exhibits that will immerse visitors in North Carolina’s Civil War experience.

Outreach, especially to students, is also at the heart of the Civil War Center’s mission. Technology, too, plays a vital role in this effort. Digital and interactive resources will bring the museum to schools across the state via the Internet; these materials are already being developed and are expected to be available even before the center’s planned opening in late 2018.

“We’re excited about that part of it,” says local historian Mary Lynn Bryan, who also serves on the board of directors. “Technology gives us the chance to expand the center’s reach far beyond Fayetteville, and bring it to students and others who might otherwise never have the chance to visit here.”

To learn more and to watch a video about the North Carolina Civil War History Center project, visit www.nccivilwarcenter.org .

The Ghost Tower is a replica of the arsenal’s four brick watch towers at Arsenal Park on the site of the old Confederate arsenal in Fayetteville, where the N.C. Civil War History Center will be built. Museum of the Cape Fear Historical Complex is located at 801 Arsenal Avenue in Fayetteville. To plan a trip, call 910-486-1330 or visit www.museumofthecapefear.ncdcr.gov .

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OutreachNC.com 59

GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 62

Able

Bets

Distinguished Every

Find

Seat

Arab

Built

Driving

Excess

Fine

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Ashes

Coasts

Earn

Exit

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Sister

Aunt

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Idle

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Isn’t

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Most

Triangles

Novel

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Oars

Tube

Pennies

Veto

Pioneer

Which

Pirate

Wounds

Raft

14. Anatomical ring 15. “___ Baby Baby” 1. Temperate fruit tree (Linda Ronstadt hit) 7. “48___” 16. Cut short 10. City on the Yamuna 17. Afternoon service River (2 wds)

ACROSS

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9. Dig discovery: Var. 24. Covet 28. Marienbad, for one 10. Be part of the cast of 31. Cloth hanging down 11. Pat at the back of a coat 12. Cambodian currency 34. Jellied garnish 13. ___ line (major axis 36. Used to keep bugs of an elliptical orbit) away 19. Victorian, for one 38. Choppers, so to 23. Bizarre speak 24. Charity, often 39. Telephone sounds 25. Artist’s stand 40. Moray, e.g.

26. “Let it stand” 41. Appoints summarily 27. Allergic reaction 42. To cause sadness 28. All in 47. Act of making 29. Christmas trees something available 30. “Hamlet” has five 50. Mallets used by 31. Commend Judges 32. “Fantasy Island” 56. Opposite of enders prop 57. Lack of vigor 33. “The final frontier” 58. Enrich, in a way 34. A chorus line 59. After expenses 35. Hogwash 60. Firming muscles 37. Protract 61. Auspices 42. Nursery rhyme 62. Oolong, for one food 63. Meal 43. Pillbox, e.g.

44. About DOWN 45. Slope of loose rock debris 1. Taps 2. Length x width, for a 46. Seed coat 47. “Cast Away” setting rectangle 48. Alone 3. Withdraw gradually 49. Delhi dress 4. Announce 5. On the safe side, at sea 51. Soon, to a bard 18. Affectionate name 52. Blow off steam 6. Rodent that hangs (plural) 53. Arabic for 20. South Carolina river around water “commander” 7. Plantain lily 21. Awful 54. Ancestry 8. Second growth of 22. Native of Kigali, 55. Dressing ingredient grass or hay Africa area.

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advice

PLANNING AHEAD

Need To Do Some Medicaid Planning?

by Beth Donner, CRPC

R

etirement dreams can become a nightmare when disrupted by health problems and the subsequent financial burden of paying for skilled, nursing home or dementia care from a lifetime of savings.

In North Carolina, you have to spend down to $2,000 of “countable assets” before Medicaid picks up the costs associated with long-term or nursing home care. For those with the foresight to plan ahead for the greatest financial risk of retirement, this may involve purchase of long-term care insurance or attempts to distribute assets well in advance of failing health. For those planning in response to an immediate need for skilled nursing care, there are a few strategic ways to obtain Medicaid qualification, including: • Spend current “countable assets” on noncountable asset items. This might include paying

off a mortgage, pre-paying funeral expenses, making repairs to a home, paying outstanding bills or credit cards or replacing an old automobile with a new one.

It can be advantageous for married couples not to spend down assets in this manner until the ill spouse is already in a facility. In NC for 2016 the spouse remaining at home (the community spouse) can keep one-half of the couple’s assets up to $119,220.

• Obtain a Medicaid Compliant Annuity. This involves turning a lump sum of (countable asset) cash into a

GREY MATTER ANSWERS

CROSSWORD

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monthly income stream. When structured properly, these types of annuities are deemed inaccessible, actuarially sound and irrevocable; they must also name the state’s Medicaid agency as the primary beneficiary. Savings, retirement accounts or current deferred annuities can all be sources of funds to obtain a Medicaid Compliant Annuity.

• Sell a current annuity income stream for a lump sum of cash. Since there is also a monthly income

limit maximum on what the community spouse can have to live on at home, it can be advantageous to turn annuity income into a lump sum so the dollars can then either be spent-down or replaced with a Medicaid Compliant Annuity. The maximum monthly maintenance needs allowance in North Carolina for the community spouse in 2016 is $2,980.50.

It’s important to note that this is a brief list of a few crisis-planning techniques, which need the oversight of an elder law attorney to be executed successfully.

WORD SEARCH

Donner is a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor and can be reached at 919-6010501 or Beth@DiversifiedPlanning.com.

SUDOKU

life

OVER MY SHOULDER

Celebrating Liberty from Mountains to Coast

O

by Ann Robson

n this July Fourth as we celebrate our nation “indivisible with liberty and justice for all,” there is a very big cloud over us. We are no longer indivisible. We are fractured into so many groups that sometimes it’s hard to tell that we were founded on the principles of unity and freedom.

As the huge carved image of George Washington stares magnificently from the southeast face of Mount Rushmore in the South Dakota Black Hills, if he could see what has happened to the defiant 13 colonies that he helped cobble together for a “more perfect union,” he’d wonder what went wrong. It’s doubtful that Washington’s 1776 vision for the country included the Black Hills or much of the country beyond the original 13 states. If one looks closely there are tears in his eyes for the loss of what was meant to be a shining star of democracy.

Each of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore can look with considerable pride on his, and our, country.

Jefferson gave us the Declaration of Independence, Lincoln gave us emancipation, Theodore Roosevelt brought us into the 20th century and left us the gift of national parks, which are celebrating 100 years in existence this year.

Despite the current politics of bickering, bullying and mud-slinging, this country is more than the current headlines. Dig deep and there’s still a strong core of decency and democracy, respect and duty, love for country and all its people.

As we have grown from 13 to 50 states, we have changed significantly along the way. From Maine’s

craggy coast to California’s sunny shores, we are quite a patchwork of people. We all can track our roots to someplace else. Those varied faces and thoughts have made us special. People still want to come here.

When did we forget that indivisible means exactly what it says? Why did we start turning differences into battle lines? How did we decide that equality is a nice word but not necessarily a good practice?

The men of Mount Rushmore would be ashamed of us, when they should be so very proud of all that we’ve done. We put a man on the moon! Yet many would keep others from having the basics of life. We can’t blame anyone else, or any single event. We either purposely let some of our founding principles slip away, or we watched it happen and did nothing.

Three million people a year come from all over the world to see Mount Rushmore, which has been called the “shrine to democracy.” Standing amid the forests of the Black Hills, one doesn’t see the riots, the poverty or the crime.

This July Fourth, let’s enjoy our freedoms and renew our promise to remain indivisible with liberty and justice for all.

Robson is the author of “Over My Shoulder: Tales of Life and Death and Everything In Between.” She can be reached at overmyshoulder@charter.net

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• Blueberries are an excellent source of Vitamin C. • Blueberries are a good source of dietary fiber.

• Start the day off right by adding blueberries to your cereal, yogurt and smoothies.

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OutreachNC.com 65

Generations

by Carrie Frye

OutreachNC asked adults and children our July question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

What’s your favorite Fourth of July family tradition?

We enjoy cooking out with family and friends. It’s a wonderful way to celebrate each other and our country.

—Parris, 75

Opening the pool and celebrating with our grandchildren. —James, 81 Having a big family cookout and picnic in our 2-acre back yard in Charlotte where we had swings and chairs and homemade ice cream. —Bob, 86 Flying the flag.

—Ray, 70

Going to Flanders Beach at Arapahoe with a big picnic and lots of watermelon.

—Ellen, 86

Spending the day with family, grilling out and going to see fireworks. —Jimmie, 59 Getting together with family. —Louise, 81 After giving thanks for my country and filling up on watermelon, I like seeing the fireworks at Holden Beach with family. —Betsy, 80 Eating ice cream and cooking hamburgers outside with plenty of watermelon. —Leon, 87 Eating hot dogs. I know these dogs are made from questionable ingredients, but, hey, how could anything covered with mustard, ketchup, onion, chili and slaw fail to taste good? —Flo, 85 Fireworks with my cousins at the lake. —Hannah Claire, 8 Cookout. —Maddie, 6 Fireworks and celebrating my birthday. —Claire, 6 Staying up until 11 doing fireworks. — Ruthie, 7 Watching fireworks and then going to bed. —Yates, 3 Pigging out eating hot dogs. —Mallory, 14 Swimming in the pool at the beach and watching fireworks. —Evan, 5 Cooking out. —Madison, 8 Having fun. —Camden, 5 Going to the movies. —Maddox, 5 Going to the beach. —Alexander, 11 Fireworks and playing soccer. —Wright, 5 Having a cookout. —Jude, 6 Fireworks with my grandaddy. —Elizabeth, 11 Lounging on the air-conditioning vent.

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—OutreachNC Co-editor Jeeves, 3

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