OutreachNC magazine - August 2014 by OutreachNC

COMPLIMENTARY

Navigating Lifestyle Choices for Active Adults

COLORS OF COFFEE

Jasmine Villalobos blends masterful works of art with aged coffee

Plus P O E T S H ELBY STEPHENSON | COOKING MATTERS' RECIPE FOR S U CC E SS

August 2014 | Volume 5, Issue 8 | www.OutreachNC.com S E R V I N G T H E S O U T H E R N P I E D M O N T, S A N D H I L L S & T R I A N G L E A R E A S

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ComPlimentary

Navigating Lifestyle

Features

Choices for Active

Adults

August 2014

Colors

of Coffee Jasmine Villalobos blends masterful works of

art with aged coffee

Plus Poet shelby stePhens on | Cooking matters' reCiPe for suCCess August 2014 | Volume 5, Issue 8 | www.Outre achNC.com

Cover Photo by

Diana Matthews

Volume 5

Issue 8

serving the southern Pie d m o n t, s a n d hills & trian gle areas

Recipe for Success Cooking Matters program provides food for thought with a dash of education for participants.

42 30

30 Growing Sustainability

UNC-Pembroke professor cultivates new track for growing interest in community agriculture.

Union Presbyterian Church Historic church tour leads to a crossroads in Carthage, where the faithful have gathered since 1797.

36 Carolina Conversations with

North Carolina poet Shelby Stephenson We sit down with the N.C. Literary Hall of Fame inductee to learn about his writing inspirations.

42 Road Scholar

Destination Retirement reveals how lifelong learning provides a passport for adventure.

44 Colors of Coffee Sanford artist Jasmine Villalobos blends her own special brews of aged coffee for painting.

36 4 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

Sanford artist Jasmine Villalobos shows how aged coffee can create masterpiece paintings.

48 34

48 A Love for Learning

Fayetteville dentist P.W. Jessup shares his passions for reading, learning and volunteering.

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Columns August 2014

10 Law Review

Why married couples should share financial details by Jackie Bedard

11 Consumer Beware Don't open that attachment by Robert Temme

12 Game On

Carolina League's Star-Spangled history by Thad Mumau

14 Ask the Expert

Help those who will help you in a crisis by Amy Natt

15 Dental Health

Coping with dry mouth by Dr. Laura Wellener

16 Medicare Update

"When summer opens, I see how fast it matures, and fear it will be short; but after the heats of July and August, I am reconciled, like one who has had his swing, to the cool of autumn."

18 Hospital Health

24 Literary Circle

19 Eye Health

51 Belle Weather

Patient portal changes access to medical records Blepharoplasty Q&A by Dr. Jeffrey White

20 Senior Moments Not your grandpa's cattle rustlers by Barb Cohea

21 Brain Matters

Post-stroke depression interferes with recovery by Dr. Karen D. Sullivan

22 Sentimental Journey

Songs tell stories by Jennifer Pollard

23 Cooking Simple

—R A L P H WA L D O E M E R S O N

WHAT'S

Online

"Flora" Review by Cos Barnes Nothing personal, but melons are meant to be shared by Celia Rivenbark

COOKING SIMPLE

RECIPES

Flourless chocolate cake and more just a click away...

52 Grey Matter Games

HOMETOWN

Crossword, sudoku and word search.

HAPPENINGS Calendar events from around the region

55 Resource Marketplace

BACK

Find the professional services you need.

ISSUES

Missed an issue of OutreachNC?

58 Over My Shoulder

Celebrate Aging! by Ann Robson

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From the Editor

ugust is here, so it’s time to savor the warmth of the summer sun. It also reminds me of back-to-school days and the smell of freshly sharpened pencils, which makes our theme of "Lifelong Learning" even more appropriate. Share Our Strength’s Cooking Matters programs are aimed at providing nutritional and educational information that makes a difference in participants’ health and pocketbooks. The program’s Healthy Base Initiative brings it to Fort Bragg where volunteers and a dedicated coordinator already have a waiting list and are helping military families deal with the age-old question of “What’s for dinner?" with cooking classes, recipes and some hands-on know-how. We also meet artist Jasmine Villalobos with her own special recipe for turning aged coffee into paint and majestic masterpieces. We catch up with at her at her Deep River Workshop studio space inside the North Carolina Arts Incubator in Siler City to see how her inspiration brews into works of art. The works of poet Shelby Stephenson have earned many an award, the latest being his 2014 induction into the North Carolina Literary Hall of Fame. We sit down for a Carolina Conversation with the musician and poet at his Johnston County plankhouse in the countryside that inspires him. The Robeson County countryside is fertile ground for a relatively new track and minor program at the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. Sustainable agriculture was the homegrown idea of assistant biology professor Deborah Hanmer that is allowing students to share passions for growing from the ground up in a hands-on curriculum and campus garden while keeping the community in mind. One church has deep roots in Carthage’s sandy soil at a crossroads where Union Presbyterian congregants have gathered since 1797. Its fourth sanctuary on the site, built in 1880, bears the Gothic Revival architecture among magnolias, azaleas and dogwoods on the road bearing its name. When it comes to roads more traveled, the Road Scholar program takes participants all over the world. For our Retirement Destination series, we learn more about the offerings and their impact on one retired Whispering Pines resident whose program passport is full of excursions across the U.S. and Canada. For one popular Fayetteville dentist, lifelong learning excursions to UNC-Chapel Hill instead of retirement are keeping his passion for knowledge alive and well when he is not learning about his patients in the dental chair. As you turn the pages this month, I hope we spark your interest for lifelong learning. As Jeeves the co-editor seeks to find his cat’s meow of subject matter, napping and chasing toys seem to remain high priorities. Until next month…

8 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

— Carrie Frye

Editor

Carrie Frye | carrief@OutreachNC.com

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ost people tend to know more about their spouses than they do anyone else: who hogs the covers; who is a night owl with a fondness for cheesy 1980s sitcoms; or who knows all the words to "Me and Bobby McGee." These details and inside jokes are the spice of your strong relationship. However, one area in particular can be a source for strife, anxiety and arguments: family finances. Both spouses should have a basic understanding of their financial situation. The Wall Street Journal recently cited a Fidelity Investments study that found only 28 percent of couples were confident that either spouse was prepared to manage their joint finances alone. Understanding each other's money personality is key, because, in most relationships, one partner is a saver while the other is a spender. Instead of big investments, it's often everyday decisions that bring about most arguments. Besides divorce, disability or death can also thrust new responsibilities on spouses who are ill-prepared to deal with financial problems, according to The Wall Street Journal. There's a tendency to put off tough conversations because in talking about what would happen if a spouse were gone, it requires you to face your own mortality. The Journal's advice for getting couples on the same basic financial page starts with listing assets. Make sure to note account numbers and passwords. When you know what you have, it's easier to make a plan. From this basic information, talking about how you want your assets distributed is the next step. Coming up with a disaster plan shouldn't be overlooked to prepare for bumps along the road to retirement.â&#x20AC;¨ The New York Times also has suggestions for how to keep finances from being a source of conflict and instead a point of communication. They include talking about education goals for children and grandchildren; deciding where to live; talking about vacations and the budget for them; and reviewing retirement expectations. The Times and U.S. News agree that establishing a budget and spending threshold is one of the most important things a couple can do. And to keep harmony, don't make that budget a set-in-stone absolute; allow for some wiggle room for discretionary purchases.

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Bedard, an elder law attorney with Carolina Family Estate Planning in Cary, can be reached at 919-443-3035.

Consumer Beware

by Robert Temme, Southern Pines Chief of Police

Don't open that attachment

Your email inbox remains fertile ground for scammers who are seeking to defraud you by placing a virus on your computer and then stealing your stored data such as banking information, or coaxing you to enter your credit card information to remove a virus. Here is one scam that will be coming to your inbox if it has not already: You are hereby notified that you are scheduled to appear for a civil court hearing that will take place in Any County, USA on August 1, 2014. It is requested by counsel that you prepare and present the requested documents upon your appearance at your scheduled hearing date. The attached copy of court notice will provide you additional information and guidance in this matter. Yours truly, Clerk of Court The purpose of this email is to evoke fear in the reader to provoke the recipient to open or download the attached “copy of court notice” attached to the email. As the recipient is reading the fictitious court documents, malware (software that is designed and intended to damage or disable computers) will be installed onto the computer. Once this malware is installed, you are at the mercy of the scam artist who now has access to your computer data. In many cases, a virus warning will appear on your monitor informing you that your computer has been infected. Most victims are prompted to enter their credit card information to “update” the virus protection and remove the virus. Once a victim enters the credit card information, the fraud is complete. Your computer is still infected and the scammer now has your credit card information. Often, these scams can be identified by carefully reading the introduction in the email long before the recipient opens any attachment. Misspelled words and improper grammar are the largest red flags. For example, an email I received this morning included the message “please open the attached document for an important massage from my family.” Without question, I deleted that email and never once considered opening the attachment just to see what message it contained; don’t let curiosity get the best of you.

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OutreachNC.com 11

This is my home, and it’s where I plan to stay.

Game On by Thad Mumau

Carolina League's Star-Spangled history

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he Carolina League has been around a long time and has sent many of its alumni to the major leagues. Some have even wound up in Cooperstown. This is the 70th season for a league founded during World War II. That inaugural 1945 season included six teams from North Carolina and two from Virginia. The current league makeup is much more diverse, with only three of the eight teams actually located in the Carolinas. The Carolina Mudcats play their home games in Zebulon, and then there are the Winston-Salem Dash and the Myrtle Beach Pelicans. Three of the eight Carolina League clubs are in Virginia: the Potomac Nationals of Woodbridge, the Lynchburg Hillcats and the Salem Red Sox. The Frederick Keys are in Maryland and the Wilmington Blue Rocks are in Delaware. Nine men who played in the Carolina League are now in the Baseball Hall of Fame. They include three members of Cincinnati's Big Red Machine—Johnny Bench, Joe Morgan and Tony Perez—along with Willie McCovey, Carl Yastrzemski, Wade Boggs, Rod Carew, Enos Slaughter and Earl Weaver. Of course, Weaver's Cooperstown plaque is a tribute to his career as a manager with the Baltimore Orioles. But the “Earl of Baltimore” played second base for one of the best minor league teams of all time, batting .276 for the 1950 Winston-Salem Cardinals. While Weaver was in the Carolina League on the way up, Slaughter was there when he was on the way out. “Country” was the player-manager for the 1961 Raleigh Capitals, hitting .341 in 41 at-bats at the age of 45. The league is Class A Advanced, the highest of three single-A leagues that also feature Class A Full Season and Class A Short Season. The rest of the minor league configuration has the Rookie League, Double-A and Triple A. The latter, which includes the Durham Bulls (a Tampa Bay farm team), is one step from the majors. Fayetteville has been a member of the Carolina League on three different occasions, as the Highlanders in 1909-10 and again in 1928-29; then in a seven-year stretch from

YOu’ll Have THe Time Of YOur life.

1950-56. They were the Fayetteville A's from 1950-52 and the Highlanders from '53-56 when the league was Class B (the minor leagues had classes A, B, C and D at that time, A being the highest). 1956 was quite a year for the Carolina League as it showcased three soon-to-be big league stars. The best of that trio—at least, that summer—was Curt Flood. He was the sensational center fielder for the High PointThomasville club that finished in first place. Flood, who would go on to fame with the St. Louis Cardinals, led the CL in batting with a .340 average, smashed 29 home runs and displayed dazzling speed that made it seem as if he could cover the entire outfield by himself. Flood had 200 base hits for the Cards in 1963 and 211 in '64 when they beat the Yankees in the World Series, batting over .300 both years. The second-place Danville Leafs boasted a dynamic duo in Leon Wagner and the aforementioned McCovey. Wagner, known as Daddy Wags in a 12-year major league career in which he hit 211 home runs, played left field. He hammered 51 homers for the Leafs and McCovey, the first baseman, added 29. McCovey would be the National League rookie of the year in 1959 and hit 521 home runs in 22 seasons in the majors. Fayetteville finished in fourth place during regular season. Bolstered by a pitching staff that included future major leaguers Wynn Hawkins and Danny Osinski, the Highlanders flourished in the postseason. They won the four-team playoffs to claim the Carolina League championship, making what proved to be a most dramatic swan song. The next year, due to poor fan support and a lack of funds to renovate dilapidated Pittman Stadium, Fayetteville did not field a minor league team. It would not do so again until the Fayetteville Generals were part of the South Atlantic League in 1987. Email Mumau at rutabega12@aol.com

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AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 13

Ask the

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14 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

My wife and I remain active in travel and community recreation. We have our basic estate planning documents in place, as well as advanced directives. We have always felt that we are prepared; however, during a recent inpatient procedure, my son was here to help out and needed to access one of my accounts to get information on an auto payment I had set up. This turned into a complicated issue, and the information he needed was not readily accessible. What is the best way to manage this in the future and what type of information might be needed?

It sounds like you and your wife have taken all of the right steps in planning for your future. When a crisis or medical change occurs, it may trigger a need for someone to step in and act on your behalf (or in your absence). While you have put documents in place that would allow your designated power of attorney to step in and help, it is often the detailed information that becomes important for them to be effective. In some cases, it can be as simple as one spouse typically manages finances and the other needs to be aware of the process and systems you have set up to do this.

There are some good planning guides available online, or you can create your own document of important information. Many funeral homes offer such guides as part of pre-need planning, for example, www.dignitymemorial.com . Because this may be confidential information, you want to be careful about who has access to this. For example, you might keep it locked in a file cabinet at home and your spouse and designated power of attorney know that it exists and how to access it if it becomes necessary. You might also consider putting it in a safe deposit box but only if the person who would need the information also has access to your safe deposit box. If you want to ensure it is kept confidential until it is needed, you can place it in a sealed envelope, with your signature across the seal, so that you will know if it has been accessed. Take the first step and commit to creating a folder, binder or a planning guide with: ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

ersonal information P Location of documents Details on military service Sources of income Information on expenses Banking/credit card information Legal/financial adviser contacts End-of-life care wishes Online accounts and passwords Outline of assets Funeral or memorial wishes

For more information on how you can prepare a planning guide, feel free to contact me or reach out to a geriatric care manager or funeral preplanning professional in your area. Natt, a certified senior adviser and care manager, can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com .

Dental Health by Laura Wellener, D.D.S. Coping with dry mouth

ry mouth, or Xerostomia, is a condition that, as the name implies, causes the mouth to have less saliva, thereby leaving it dry. It doesn't sound so terrible if you’ve never experienced it, but dry mouth extends from annoying to debilitating. It is becoming more and more common, and the likelihood of having dry mouth increases as we get older. There can be several factors leading to dry mouth, but medication side effects are one of the leading causes. Saliva in our mouths provides some very important functions. First, it keeps the tissues inside our mouth moist. This aids in keeping those tissues like the gums and the insides of the cheeks healthy and comfortable. When decreased saliva is present, these tissues become dried and are easily irritated. The cheeks may feel “stuck” to the teeth, the tissue can tear and sometimes a burning sensation is present. Talking may even be difficult. The inside of the mouth can feel quite sore. Saliva also serves to help with eating by coating the food we eat, aiding in chewing and swallowing. This is the first step in the digestive process. With diminished saliva, chewing and swallowing may become difficult. This can directly impact what is eaten, often forcing us toward foods that may be easier to swallow but not necessarily good for us. Think ice cream versus celery sticks. Obviously, inability to eat as healthy as we’d like affects our entire body and well-being. Our body may not be getting the good nutrition it needs to work properly. Low saliva’s effects reach far beyond the mouth.

Another of saliva’s important jobs is to help to protect our teeth from getting cavities. Saliva helps protect teeth in several ways. It helps to “wash” plaque and food debris from teeth. With low saliva, plaque can become more “sticky” and adheres to the teeth. The bacteria that live in our mouths can then feast on this plaque that is sticking on the teeth and can cause cavities. Saliva also has “protective qualities” in its makeup. Enzymes and minerals such as calcium and phosphorus help fortify teeth, which protects teeth from getting cavities. When saliva is decreased, the protection from cavities is decreased as well. This can be dramatic. Cavities can happen very quickly. Since dry mouth makes us more prone to cavities, our oral hygiene habits need to be a top priority. Good brushing habits, flossing daily and fluoride use will help minimize cavities. Be sure to tell your dentist if your mouth is dry. Your dentist can suggest products designed to aid with this uncomfortable condition. There are rinses, gels and sprays designed for dry mouth relief that add moisture and help reduce the dry feeling. There are also special lozenges and chewing gums available. Although there is no cure for it, there are a number of ways to manage dry mouth and to lessen its damaging and uncomfortable effects. Dr. Wellener, DDS, of Wellener Dental in Pinehurst, can be reached at 910-2951010 or frontoffice@ wellenerdental.com .

AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 15

Network with leaders

from all areas of business during the

CHATHAM DEVELOPMENT BRIEFING Real estate professionals, consultants, county representatives, economic development experts and others will present the latest information on residential, commercial and agricultural development for Chatham County.

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Medicare Update by Lynne Drinkwater

I’m almost 65—How should I prepare for Medicare?

ore than 120,000 North Carolinians will turn 65 this year. Don’t wait until you’re 65 to start thinking about your Medicare choices. Start now and let SHIIP, the Seniors’ Health Insurance Information Program, help you. SHIIP, a division of the North Carolina Department of Insurance, provides free, unbiased information about Medicare and other insurance-related issues. There are SHIIP sites in all 100 counties in North Carolina. It is recommended that you contact SHIIP to review your Medicare options before you need to enroll so that you don’t make any hurried decisions at the last minute. Your Medicare choices will depend on several factors, including:

1. Are you retired, or will you continue to work? 2. Will you have access to medical and/or prescription drug coverage through an Employer Group Health Plan? 3. How does your Employer Group Health Plan compare with Medicare supplement plans and Medicare Advantage plans?

Of course, there are other things to consider when determining your Medicare options. SHIIP has created a handout to help you navigate the Medicare system and initial enrollment process. The handout, “The Road to Medicare,” outlines the decisions you’ll need to make and what options are available through the Medicare system. To obtain a free copy of “The Road to Medicare,” call SHIIP at 1-800-443-9354 or visit SHIIP’s website at www.ncshiip.com . You can also meet with a certified SHIIP volunteer counselor in your community to discuss your Medicare options. To arrange an appointment with a SHIIP volunteer counselor, contact your local senior enrichment or active adult community center. Don’t wait to make your Medicare decisions—you can and should start the process before you turn 65. Let SHIIP help you understand your options. Drinkwater, program coordinator at the Moore County Department of Aging, can be reached at 910-215-0900, ext. 206 or ldrinkwater@moorecountync.gov .

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Hospital Health

Patient portal changes access to medical records

f you haven't heard the term “patient portal” already, you soon will as hospitals, physician practices and other health care providers throughout the country begin offering electronic access to Personal Health Records (PHR) to their patients. As of July 1, FirstHealth of the Carolinas became part of the movement. Electronic access to patient health information is part of a national program supported by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid (CMS) to encourage communication between patients and their health care providers while ensuring that medical decisions are based on a patient's current and complete medical history. “It's been demonstrated that patients who are engaged in their self-care and are knowledgeable about their diseases or potential for disease experience an improved quality of life,” says Cindy McNeill-McDonald, FirstHealth's vice president for quality. “A patient portal helps patients keep up with their health care needs, medications, allergies, lab results and other health care information on a secure site. It allows them to keep their medical information in one place and up to date while willingly and correctly sharing their data with other providers." Anyone who has been a patient in one of the four FirstHealth of the Carolinas hospitals or who has had a hospital-based procedure such as lab work or a mammogram will be able to access the FirstHealth Patient Portal. All that is necessary is an email address, a computer and the availability of an Internet browser such as Internet Explorer, Google Chrome, Firefox or Safari. Enrollment is quick and easy with the following steps: ● FirstHealth patients over age 18 will be asked for their email address during pre-registration and/ or registration for a FirstHealth-related hospital admission, physician visit or medical procedure. ● Thirty-six hours afterward, the patient will get an invitation to register for the Patient Portal at myhealthcareportal.org . Once enrolled as a patient portal user, patients will be able to access their FirstHealth personal health record at their convenience. For more information on the FirstHealth Patient Portal, contact support services at 866-735-2963 or email support@relayhealth.com .

Eye Health

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Blepharoplasty Q&A What is blepharoplasty?

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Upper blepharoplasty is done under local anesthesia, so patients may be mostly awake or may have IV sedation, but they will be able to cooperate with the surgeon during the procedure. Typically the procedure will take 30 minutes or less and there should be no discomfort during the operation. Lower lid blepharoplasty is similar to the upper lid procedure, but may take slightly longer to perform. What should patients expect after the procedure?

After the procedure, patients are sent home and they will use ice packs to the eyelids for the first 48 hours. Antibiotic ointment is applied to the incisions three to four times a day until the sutures fall out. Most patients have some swelling and bruising, and this typically worsens over the first 48 hours, and then improves day by day. Typically, there is only very minor blurring of vision, usually from ointment getting in the eyes. Most patients do not have significant pain during the recovery process so they can resume almost all normal activities within a few days. Dr. White, an ophthalmic plastic surgeon whose field includes both ophthalmology and plastic surgery at Carolina Eye Associates, can be reached at 910.295.2100 or 800.733.5357 or visit www.carolinaeye.com .

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OutreachNC.com 19

Senior Moments by Barb Cohea

Not your grandpa’s cattle rustlers

s a student of history, like all Americans, I get my information from watching TV shows and movies. Fortunately, I have lived during the era of “THE WESTERN” when all the history of the western United States was readily available utilizing both the big and the little screens. John Wayne still lived, as did Roy Rogers, Gene Autry and who could forget James Arness as Matt Dillon. Besides general history, I also know a lot about specifics like cattle rustling. TV cowboys, like Clint Eastwood, who is still alive regardless of how he looks, played Rowdy Yates on the wonderful history show “Rawhide.” I can still sing the theme song, “Head 'em up, round 'em up, run 'em in, do 'em in, RAWHIDE!” or something like that. Anyway, Rowdy Yates was forever keeping those free-range cattle together and away from rustlers, led by Bruce Dern. This caused a great amount of riding around and shooting until everybody got tired and headed out on the nearest cattle trail toward a railhead where they would ship the cattle east. We can’t do this anymore because our cattle trails have been absorbed into a spider web of interstate highway

systems that makes it too dangerous. Picture it. You're on cruise control, 20 mph over the speed limit, when out of a dust cloud on the other side of the overpass emerges a young and buff Clint Eastwood chewing a toothpick and wearing a serape. I’d be skittering all over the road to get a good look at that tall drink of water. Which explains why we have big rig trucks instead. Today, rustlers back trailers up to a cut fence and entice the cows with clover-flavored cattle treats to get in the truck. The idea is the owner won’t miss them, because who counts their cattle every day? And they all look alike anyway. Pick up a couple here, there, maybe a lone cow having some Mommy-time and then as Senator Everett Dirksen once said back in the 1960s, “you’re talking real money.” And a lot of it. Rustling is not, however, for everyone. Three men in Malaysia used their very small car, a Proton, because they didn’t have a big truck. A blowpipe filled with tranquilizers helped (don’t ask) and so three cows went into the back seat. Lack of legroom caused a cramp, and one cow ended up wedged between the front seats. No. 4 cow went in the trunk. Not

manufactured for hauling bovines, the Proton buckled under the weight. Since pushing a broken car full of cows ain’t easy, the rustlers abandoned their vehicle. The cows were rescued by townsfolk who had a devil of a time getting them out of the car, mostly because they were still drowsy. The American version of this involved three men and an equally small Honda Civic. A single calf sharing the back seat with one of the rustlers ruined this heist. That and the cop who refused to believe the calf really was a new breed of dog that RESEMBLED a calf. Of course, the fact that Ralph the “dog” couldn’t quite bark right, didn’t help either. The point is always come properly equipped. Don’t bring a fleet of miniCoopers to snatch cows. And a car called a “Proton,” named after a subatomic particle found inside an ATOM just screams TINY. A U-Haul truck, the size going for $19.95 per day is better. Capacity? Oh, 20 cows, at least. More if you stack 'em. For more humor, visit www.BarbaraCohea. com or email her at barbaracohea@gmail. com .

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20 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

Brain Matters by Karen D. Sullivan, Ph.D., ABPP

Post-stroke depression interferes with recovery

troke is the most common neurological disorder in the United States with approximately 795,000 new strokes per year. A stroke occurs when blood flow to a part of the brain is disrupted. Symptoms of depression after stroke are also common (affecting anywhere from 9-50 percent of patients in recent studies), and one of the strongest predictors of disability and recovery. The symptoms of depression in those with stroke are similar in those without stroke and include a sad mood, loss of interest or enjoyment in activities they usually enjoy, loss of energy, difficulty with concentration and making decisions, decreased or increased appetite, sleep disturbance (too much or too little), feelings of hopelessness/worthlessness and thoughts of death or suicide. People who have a few of these symptoms for more than two weeks may be experiencing depression. Although there is debate about risk factors for depression after stroke, in general, those who develop depression after a stroke tend to be younger, have been depressed at some point in their lives previously, have few close friends and have had a more severe stroke compared with those who did not. Most doctors believe that there are three main reasons people get depressed after a stroke commonly referred to a the biopsychosocial model. The “bio” part means the actual brain damage caused by the stroke (both the physical location of the stroke and the cascade of chemical reactions that happen after stroke). The “psycho” part refers to the person’s personality traits that may predispose them to negative thinking. The “social” part is related to the person’s loss of independence and newfound difficulties with things like working or driving. It is critical to have a trained professional evaluate your

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loved one to determine if their specific symptoms are indeed depression. Antidepressant medicines and therapy (individual or group) are the best treatment combination. As a family member, you are in a great position to support someone whose had a stroke. In addition to evaluation and treatment by a mental health professional, here are my top three recommendations for what you can do: 1. Validate. Tell them that you see their pain and want to help because you care. Help them understand that depression can interfere with recovery from stroke. You can try to normalize their experience by saying that depression after stroke is quite common and may be a symptom just like the trouble they have with walking or using their arm. 2. Rehab should never end. Make sure that your loved one continues to be actively involved in rehabilitation therapies even if its using worksheets from previous therapies.

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3. Realize you can’t cure someone’s depression.

Your role as a family member or caregiver is to listen, support and advise. One of the things you can do is to make gentle suggestions about the power of positive thinking. Negative self-talk and low expectations of recovery are hugely influential on how we feel and interpret our own experiences. It’s important to point out the small improvements that happen every day (“babysteps”). Dr. Sullivan, Ph.D. ABPP, a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, licensed psychologist and owner of Pinehurst Neuropsychology, can be reached at www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com or 910-420-8041.

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OutreachNC.com 21

Sentimental Journey by Jennifer Pollard

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Songs tell stories

here’s a famous quote attributed to an unknown author: “All it takes is one song to bring back a thousand memories.” The generation I work with the most seems to enjoy the Turner Classic Movies (TCM) station for catching up on old familiar movies and musicals. I recently walked into a client’s home as the booming bass voice could be heard from the living room singing, “Ol’ Man River” from the 1951 film of the acclaimed Broadway musical, “Showboat.”

of where I was at the time and whom I was with but also take me back through the story of the musical to magical places. I’m a huge fan of musical theater. I was raised in a house filled with show tunes thanks to my mom and her theater friends. There is nothing quite like a tune from Rodgers and Hammerstein, Cole Porter, Irving Berlin or Lerner and Loewe to bring a smile. It seems that no matter what situations life has presented, there is always a musical that has the answers.

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A flood of memories came rushing back. As a child, my family went to a place in Clearwater, Florida, called the Showboat Dinner Theatre. Oh, the magic of sitting down and having your dinner while being transported through the mesmerizing world of a musical. I recall the shows, “Showboat,” “Music Man,” “The Sound of Music” and “Carousel” coming to life in front of my eager young eyes. Tunes like “Seventy-Six Trombones,” “Pick-A-Little, TalkA-Little,” "Do-Re-Mi,” "This Was a Real Nice Clambake" and “You’ll Never Walk Alone” are now indelibly in my memory. The songs not only recall a personal memory

I see the power that current musicals have on our youth today. Thanks to animated movies, our children all know the words to “Let It Go” from the movie “Frozen.” Musicals are timeless. Musicals use the songs to tell the story, which is a great analogy for a life lived with music. I can’t imagine my storyline without songs interspersed. What songs have shaped your life? What are your favorites? I’d love to hear from you and learn your story through music. Share your musical memories with Pollard by emailing jenniferp@ aoscaremanagement. com.

Cooking Simple by Rhett Morris

Watermelon Salsa INGREDIENTS 2 cups watermelon, cubed 1 small jalapeĂąo, seeded and diced finely Âź cup red onion, diced 2 tablespoons cilantro, chopped 2 tablespoons basil, chopped 1 lime, zest and juice 1 teaspoon cumin 1 teaspoon chipotle Salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS Combine all ingredients, and put in refrigerator for at least an hour before serving.

Morris, owner of Rhett's Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering, can be reached at 910-695-3663 or rhett@rhettsrpcc.com.

AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 23

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www.ccucc.net 24 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

Literary Circle

Book Review by Cos Barnes

“Flora”

ail Godwin does it again. With 12 novels under her belt, and a three-time finalist for the National Book Award, she scores again with “Flora,” a somewhat dark Southern tale of regret, remorse and scars that will not go away. Set in the North Carolina mountains in 1945, there are many reminders of what we old-timers remember: polio scares; the celebration at the end of World War II with the dropping of the atomic bomb; and a quieter, simpler life with party lines on telephones with an operator who knew all the news. "A mesmerizing and magic tale of

tragedy, loss and regret." — Cos Barnes

The main character Helen is approaching her 11th birthday. Her mother died when she was three and her grandmother, whom she adored, has just passed away as well. Her father, a former high school principal who has been called to Oak Ridge, Tennessee, on a secret assignment, carries a limp as a reminder of his early bout with polio and also has a drinking problem. He hires Flora, the 22-year-old cousin of his dead wife, to stay with his daughter during the summer. Flora plans to start a teaching job in the fall. Desperate to keep her home intact, although it has seen much neglect since it was a sanitarium for mentally-ill patients, who Helen calls “recoverers,” she wants the house to return to its original grandeur. Helen assigns a room to Finn, a young soldier smitten with Flora. This is a mesmerizing and magic tale of tragedy, loss and regret. “Flora” was described by reviewer John Irving as “a luminously written, heartbreaking book.” Email Barnes at info@outreachnc.com.

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RECIPE

FOR SUCCESS By CARRIE FRYE | Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

ne unique program has been simmering at Fort Bragg since last November combining the ingredients of volunteers and participants to serve up an educational and nutritional effort to warm not only hearts and souls but also stomachs and family budgets. Share Our Strength’s Cooking Matters program supplies the needed nutritional information and educational opportunities by providing commissary tours and cooking classes so that military families on base can put the learning to good use within their households. Off base, the same program serves the community in Fayetteville as part of the Second Harvest Food Bank and also in Raleigh through the Inter-Faith Food Shuttle, even sprouting an urban garden. The need for these programs is supported by staggering statistics. Military families redeem $100 million annually in SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) benefits. More than $31 million in goods were redeemed through WIC, the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children in commissaries in 2012. These numbers have more than doubled since 2008, so Renee 26 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

Reichart, program coordinator of the Cooking Matters Healthy Base Initiative at Fort Bragg, aims to provide education for healthier food choices to make stronger, happier and healthier families. Building off the success of the program’s initial run last fall and a waiting list, Reichart is enlisting volunteers to help her grow and expand through a grassroots effort. “I grew up on a farm, says Reichart, “so I’ve always been close to food. I participated in the 4-H Youth Livestock Program and had many lemonade stands. My dad was active (National) Guard. Food is so important to relieving stress, and every parent wants to be able to give their children the best. Having been in the military myself and transitioning to nonprofit, it is great to come back and focus on helping military families.” This nonprofit has been going strong for 21 years touching the lives of more than 120,000 families across the nation with that good work continuing here in North Carolina. Fort Bragg is one of only 15 military bases participating in the Healthy Base Initiative. One of Reichart’s recent recruits is volunteer chef Cheryl Burris,

who leads a weekly cooking class at the community center on base. A military spouse with her masters in adult education, Burris went to culinary school as a way to learn to cope with her husband’s food allergies. She is now putting her expertise into good use in a community classroom. “My friend Mustafa Somar had been the volunteer chef last year, and one conversation led to another,” says Burris, smiling. Once program participants register, they attend cooking classes, where they make a recipe and learn the nutritional aspects of the ingredients while the food is cooking. Then the group enjoys a meal together of their own hard work. “The cooking class is broken up into two pieces,” explains Burris. “We look at the nutrition and try to take the intimidation out of cooking by giving them a few chef secrets. We also talk about SNAP and WIC and what they can buy.” The grant-funded program at Fort Bragg has cooking classes scheduled through August. With the increased interest and need, Reichart is working hard to secure funding to keep the program going and growing.

“I have noticed the increase in the interest of single soldiers and males soldiers,” says Burris. “Teaching is my passion. I really enjoy cooking, and this is my fun thing.” “Classes are full now,” adds Reichart, “and we have 43 on the waiting list. We can always use volunteers to be tour leaders, help with the curriculum and participate on all levels.” Part of the Cooking Matters curriculum takes participants to the South Commissary for a complete aisle-by-aisle tour to discuss reading the “Nutrition Facts” labels on products. Capt. Rachel Anthony, chief of inpatient nutrition services at Womack Army Medical Center, led a recent informationpacked tour to a group of program participants. Using the Cooking Matters app, particiants can enter ingredients they have and are given healthy recipe ideas. Another helpful app Anthony finds particularly useful is the Fooducate application (www.fooducate.com) for smartphones and tablets to help consumers locate healthier products and understand product labels. “Sometimes finding a recipe and making it from scratch is really the best option,” says Anthony, after examining box after box of pancake mixes. “I know that is more time consuming, but I can usually find a lot of good recipes with reviews and suggestions on www.allrecipes.com, which is also a good resource for diabetic recipes.” One thing to watch out for on the labels in pre-packaged products is hydrogenated oils. In cereals and snack bars, Anthony pointed out the higher nutritional values in the Kashi, Fiber One and Nature Valley brands. “We learn to read the labels and explain the unit price,” explains Anthony. “The bigger box is not always the cheapest, and most consumers choose the prettiest box or the cheapest.” Moving through the commissary meat cases, Anthony advises, “Choose leaner cuts of beef, especially grass-fed or organic. Bison is a leaner red meat and good option. It tastes just like beef to me. Wild game is also considered leaner, but just like with anything, it is all in how you prepare it.” Hot dogs are low on Anthony’s list for a healthy meal, but she notes how Hebrew National utilizes better cuts of beef in their products as a healthier hot dog option. Anthony encourages participants to avoid soda altogether with a diet version or fruit juice as an alternative. She also notes that Gatorade G2 is a better option for replacing electrolytes than the regular version because of its lower sugar content. CONTINUED PAGE 28

Capt. Rachel Anthony, chief of inpatient nutrition services at Womack Army Medical Center, leads a tour of the Fort Bragg South Commissary as part of the Cooking Matters program. For more information or to volunteer, contact 910-429-4986 or visit www.cookingmatters.org .

Volunteers, Capt. Rachel Anthony and sous chef Cheryl Burris, right, help program coordinator Renee Reichart and the program's Healthy Base Initiative achieve its goals.

AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 27

WHAT'S IN THE BAG? Cooking Matters program commissary tour attendees receive a reusable shopping bag and $10 to purchase healthy items to make a meal that serves four. Capt. Anthony also pointed out some healthier food choices during the tour, which she recommended, always citing moderation and portion size: Kashi Go Lean Crisp cereal Hungry Jack Lite syrup Nature Valley Protein bars Smucker's Organic Peanut Butter Hebrew National hot dogs Whole wheat pasta Gatorade G2

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 27

A few more of Anthony’s recommendations include whole wheat bread, organic or natural peanut butter, whole wheat pasta, air pop popcorn and plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. “Moderation really is the key,” she advises. “Getting to know your own family history is important, too.” Anthony admits that she has a weakness for dark chocolate almonds and works on moderation in meal preparations for herself and her son. “We both prefer home-cooked meals to eating out,” Anthony says, noting that she recommends the Chipotle Mexican Grill as a healthier fast-food choice. When program participants complete their commissary tour, each receives 28 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

a reusable shopping bag and $10 as a challenge to put this fresh nutritional knowledge to the test to purchase items to make a meal that serves four. “We like to see what they can put together,” says Burris. “Ten dollars for four people is manageable and not impossible.” Working with participants day-by-day, class-by-class and tour-by-tour, Reichart and her small army of Cooking Matters program volunteers make a difference with education and hands-on training. “Renee has pulled things together for funding,” says Burris. “We really want Renee and the program to be a success. The program fills a community need, and people are starving for this information.”

Burris leads a weekly cooking class, where participants receive her hands-on training and some chef secrets.

Join us for a

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PASTA WITH BEANS AND GREENS (Serves 10, 1 cup per serving) Prep time: 25 minutes ● Cook time: 20-25 minutes INGREDIENTS 1 (16-ounce) package whole wheat pasta 2 medium onions 1 medium carrot 3 large cloves garlic 2 pounds (1 large bunch) spinach or kale 2 (15 ½-ounce) cans great northern or cannellini beans 2 Tablespoons canola oil 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspoon dried red pepper flakes ¾ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon ground black pepper

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DIRECTIONS 1. Cook pasta following package directions. Drain, reserving 1 cup pasta water, Set aside. 2. While pasta is cooking, rinse, peel and dice onions and carrots. Peel and mince garlic. 3. Rinse greens, more than once if needed to remove all grit. Remove tough stems. Chop coarsely. 4. In a colander, drain and rinse beans. 5. In a large skillet over medium-low heat, heat oil. Add garlic, carrot, onion and greens. Cook until onions are soft. 6. Add ½ cup reserved pasta water and seasonings. Cook until greens are tender. 7. Add beans to greens. If needed, add a little more reserved pasta water to make a sauce. 8. Add cooked pasta to beans and greens. Toss to combine. Cook until pasta is heated through, about 5 more minutes.

Chef Notes: 1. For extra flavor, top with hot sauce or grated Parmesan cheese. 2. Use Swiss chard or any of your favorite hearty greens. 3. Use olive oil instead of canola oil, if you prefer. AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 29

Growing Sustainability By JONATHAN SCOTT, Special to OutreachNC | Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

hen Deborah Hanmer was studying at Michigan State University to become a nurse, the curriculum was so rigorous there was room for only a single elective. Hanmer chose something that sounded fun—Indoor Plants and Flowers. At the time, it didn't seem like a life-changing decision. Hanmer went on to receive her nursing degree and work in the medical field for the next 17 years, but the impression that single elective course and its teacher left on her grew like a well-tended houseplant. “That's the thing about teaching,” Hanmer says now, sitting in her sunlit office at the University of North Carolina at Pembroke, where she has spent the past seven years as an assistant professor in the biology department. “You never know the influence you might have on a person's life.” Earning her doctorate in plant pathology after a selfproclaimed mid-life crisis gave her the opportunity to leave nursing to nurture her love for growing things. Since taking her teaching position, Hanmer had an idea how she might better instill these passions in her students. “Because of budget constraints, we're under a moratorium on starting any new degree programs,” she says. “But there are no restrictions against adding a new track to an existing program.” By the time Hanmer made an official proposal to her department, she knew exactly what sort of new track it should be — one that met the needs of future students as well as the community as a whole—Sustainable Agriculture. This new track was first offered to students 30 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

in the fall semester of 2012, describing it as “farming for the future” as “sustainable agriculture is the fastest growing sector in U.S. agriculture.” According to Hanmer, there are three goals that sustainable agriculture includes: developing farming practices that mimic ecological systems, being able to support a family and preserve land productivity and practicing fair and humane treatment for humans and animals. One of Hanmer’s students, Mark Anderson, grew up on a Louisiana farm, where there wasn't much discussion of sustainability. Anderson came away from his upbringing knowing that farming was hard work and that he loved it. However, Anderson didn’t immediately make farming his occupation. Instead, he joined the U.S. Army and served in Operation Desert Storm. After retiring from active duty, Anderson decided plant his roots firmly in Cumberland County and set up a small grass-fed beef ranch in the Gray's Creek township east of Interstate 95 off N.C. 87 as a second career. “I knew I wanted to farm,” Anderson says, “but unless you have lots of land and lots of money to buy it, you just can't compete in the commodity farm industry. One day I happened to be reading the newspaper and came across an article on a new program in Pembroke.” Anderson and his wife saw sustainable farming as a way they could have the life they wanted and make a living, too. So with that same enthusiasm and dedication he had when joining the military, Anderson enrolled in UNC-Pembroke’s environmental science program with its new sustainable agriculture track. Today, even with some of his previous college

Mark Anderson, a student of Dr. Deborah Hanmer’s and the UNC-Pembroke Sustainable Agriculture program, keeps a close watch on a variety of plants growing in the campus garden.

credits transferring, Anderson has another year before graduating, but his fervor hasn't diminished. Anderson is one of a handful of students following the track, and together, they have the dedication of a class many times their size. Their passion is but one of the bountiful crops of the curriculum. Hanmer and her associates believe in hands-on training as a complement to classroom studies, which allows the students to get their hands deep into the soil of a parcel of land on the north side of the campus. Before the first seed was planted, Hanmer had the soil tested for residues of chemicals that might have once been applied to the pasture. To her pleasant surprise, there were none. Although

the garden hasn't officially been certified as “organic,” the food grown there is chemical-free. This once empty pasture is now deemed the UNC-Pembroke Campus Garden and open to all students, faculty and staff to “participate in an environmentally conscious food production while experiencing the values of community engagement and sustainable agriculture.” Anderson's eyes sharpen with a combination of concentration and affection as he studies the vegetation of the 20,000-square foot garden. Without any chemical fertilizers, pesticides or weed control, the gardeners have to keep watchful eyes and practice alternative farming methods. Biochar, which uses charcoal

as a soil amendment, is at the cutting edge of the sustainability movement, and a part of the campus garden. Similar to some home gardening techniques, students also apply mulch to preserve soil moisture, grow plants whose only function is to attract bees and do plenty of oldfashioned weed pulling. “One of the hallmarks of sustainable agriculture is diversity,” Hanmer says. “We separate the plants in the garden, so we might have a few tomatoes here and a few more over there. Having all the same kind of thing growing together is what's called a monoculture, which leaves the plants more susceptible to diseases and pests.” CONTINUED PAGE 32

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 31

During the summer months, there's plenty of diversity in the campus garden. On a sunny and warm midJune morning, hybrid tomatoes, blueberries, eggplant and beans are all healthy and thriving. There are even some yacóns, also known as a Peruvian ground apple, which is a plant native to the Andes that puts out potato-like tubers that taste like apples. Demand may not be as high for these unique yacóns; however, the concept of growing niche crops that can be sold directly to the consumer lies behind many of the career possibilities for students who study in this track. One recent graduate of the program employs her newfound skills in the Richmond County Soil and Water Conservation Department. Bobbie Gerald, like Anderson, grew up on a farm and developed a life-long love of agriculture. As a senior in the Environmental Sciences Program at UNC-Pembroke when the track was instituted, she had the chance to take only one course, "Principles of Sustainable Agriculture." Like Hanmer’s own experience, the course had a lasting impact. “Because the class size was small,” explains Gerald, “we all helped each other and became very close. I told Dr. Hanmer that I would have gone through a whole program of courses like that if I could.” Within a week of graduating, Gerald, 25, found a job as a natural resource conservationist. She helps farmers and other landowners prevent pollution from entering the water supply. It's only one of many careers that are possible for graduates. Other careers include working in agriculture marketing, agritourism as well as becoming a sustainable farmer or rancher. One other possibility with real 32 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

The efforts of Dr. Deborah Hanmer, above, an assistant professor in biology at the University of North Carolina at Pembroke, to grow a Sustainable Agriculture track have bloomed into a minor program beginning this fall.

"My dream would be to have a CSA and sell organic fruits, vegetables and humanely produced meat, poultry and eggs."

— Mark Anderson UNC-Pembroke Sustainable Agriculture Student

R LY B I

traditional native plants like corn, tobacco and beans.” Hanmer would also like to see the garden as a place for workshops for area residents and schoolchildren to be involved in the farming process. “Eventually, we could produce enough to sell sustainably grown produce to the cafeteria,” adds Hanmer. This fall, the university begins offering a minor in sustainable agriculture, one more way more students and the region can benefit from the program. Like the campus garden, Hanmer’s careful cultivation of the program can yield quite a harvest as it grows both for her students and the greater community. “I feel energized by students who are committed and enthusiastic,” Hanmer says. “It's hard not to have hope.”

potential is a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA), where consumers buy a share of a farmer's annual crops and in turn, get a portion of what's fresh and local throughout the growing season. It's a way for consumers to connect directly with the people who produce their food and for farmers to get a fair price for the fruits of their labor. “My dream,” adds Anderson, “would be to have a CSA and sell organic fruits, vegetables and humanely produced meat, poultry and eggs.” Hanmer appreciates Anderson's dedication and thinks ahead to future harvests for this plot of land. “We have many students in the American Indian Studies Program,” she says. “I'd like them to use the campus garden to experiment with growing

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Historic North Carolina Churches Series

Union Presbyterian Church C arthage, N.C.

As one of the oldest Presbyterian churches in the region, Union was organized by W.W. Paisley and Highland Scot settlers in the late 1700s.

By CARRIE FRYE, Special to OutreachNC Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

34 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

haded by towering magnolias and adorned by dogwood trees, Union Presbyterian Church sits in the countryside of Carthage in its rural roots of Moore County. Known also as the “Union of Crossroads” for its location between Vass and Carthage, the church has had as many as five roads coming together around it. Established in 1797 by Highland Scots, the first sermons were given in Gaelic. As a thriving congregation in the 1830s, the congregation outgrew former sanctuaries. With as many as 700 in attendance, worship and communion became quite an undertaking and an all-day event. The church’s previous building was moved and sold to a local farmer nearby, where it is still in use today as a barn. Union’s current sanctuary is actually the fourth on the site and was built in 1880 in a simple yet striking Gothic revival style more typical of Presbyterian architecture. The wooden pews inside are original to the structure, and with the balcony seating area, it can accommodate around 400 congregants. Inside, dark wooden wall sconces with glass globes adorn each interior column, and an elaborately carved wooden Celtic cross hangs in the vestibule. A notch in the ceiling denotes where the flute once had to be lit for heat. “A man would walk from Vass to light the flute, walk back home and then walk back for worship so that it would be warm for services,” says Sandy Stewart, a member at Union since birth and son of the former pastor, the Rev. William Stewart. The handcrafted communion table may not be as old as the pews, but is treated with special regard by the church members. Stewart believes the table dates back at least seven generations of his family.

The cemetery at Union Church is the resting place of many Confederate Army soldier graves, which lie beside what is the fourth sanctuary built on the site, built in 1880.

Gov. and Mrs. Benjamin Williams gave silver offertory plates to the church in the early 1800s when they resided at the nearby historic site, House in the Horseshoe. Four long, narrow stained glass windows extend from the first floor to the balcony on each side and were a later addition to the historic structure further beautifying the church like the blooming azaleas outside. A water oak tree was planted in honor of the late Rev. Stewart after his passing in 2011. Union was also the seed for church planting in the region, growing eight Presbyterian daughter churches over a 70-year period of time including: First Presbyterian Carthage, Cameron, White Hill, Eureka, Vass, Lakeview, Culdee and Manly. Growing up in the church, Stewart and his wife Carol are happy to be raising their daughters with Union as their home church, where every third Sunday offers fellowship and a meal after services. “For me,” says Stewart, “in a line of heritage, it is meaningful to worship here.”

For more information on Union Presbyterian, located on Union Church Road in Carthage, contact 910-947-3890 or www.unionchurchcarthage.org .

AUGUST 2014

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36 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

CAROLINACONVERSATIONS

WITH N.C. LITERARY HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE AND POET

SHELBY STEPHENSON

By KATHY GRANT WESTBROOK Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

Shelby Stephenson will be inducted into the North Carolina Literary Hall of Fame in October—an honor to be sure, but it won’t be the first time the poet has received a nod from his peers. Past awards have recognized specific works, such as the Zoe Kincaid-Brockman Memorial Award he received in 1980 for his inaugural collection, "Middle Creek Poems;" the Bright Hill Press Chapbook Prize he received in 2002 for the succinctly titled "Possum;" and the 2008 Bellday Prize and 2009 Oscar Arnold Young Award, both of which he received for "Family Matters: Homage to July, the Slave Girl." But Stephenson’s induction into the Literary Hall of Fame will take “prize-winning” to a whole new level: he will be recognized for his body of work in its entirety, and for his overall contribution to North Carolina literature. CONTINUED PAGE 38

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CAROLINACONVERSATIONS

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 37

A Johnston County farm known as “Paul’s Hill” (for Stephenson’s father) is to be credited as the incubator for Stephenson’s poetic musings—it’s where Stephenson, now 76, was born and raised, and it’s where he currently resides with his wife, Linda. There were a number of years during which Stephenson lived elsewhere, including the years he spent studying English in college. He earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a master’s from the University of Pittsburgh, and a doctorate from the University of Madison at Wisconsin. Though he didn’t study poetry-writing (he says he never took a writing class), he clearly has the soul of a poet— and a musician. In addition to the numerous poetry chapbooks he has published, he and Linda have together recorded several music CDs. Stephenson and his wife live in a modest brick home that sits just a stone’s throw from the three-room plankhouse where he spent his earliest years. The original family home is now a repository of memories and mementoes, and as Stephenson walks through it, nodding toward a picture, running his hand along the edge of a table, pointing out the place where his childhood bed once stood, it’s easy to see how this place—this life— inspired so much of his writing. ONC: How old were you when you started writing?

SS: I wrote songs, imitations of Hank Williams. I was 13 or 14 when he died. . . . [Stephenson breaks into a Williams tune.] Today I passed you on the street, and my heart fell at your feet. I can’t help it if I’m still in love with you. . . . No doubt, they were poems to me. 38 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

ONC: What can you tell us about the first poem you ever had published?

SS: My first [published] poem was called “Whales Are Hard to See,” published in a “little” (literary) magazine housed at Davidson College. . . . I was living in Madison, Wisconsin, at the time, and when the dark blue book came, it made me feel good. . . . That was spring, 1973. . . . The whale poem had not a thing to do with my life here . . . on Paul’s Hill. The poem was an imitation of something Wallace Stevens wrote, I think. ONC: Although your “Whales” poem wasn’t inspired by your rural upbringing, many of your poems are—can you give us an example?

SS: In Madison, as I was sending poems out, I sent a piece, a yarn, called “Daddy Gets the Varmints.” It was a tale, part true . . . in that this happened: My father heard something out at the chicken roost . . . he got his gun and went out to see if a possum or something was eating the chickens. I remember I ended that “poem” with these lines, something like, “And I ran too, to see weasels, varmints, things I had never seen before. / We brushed each other as we passed, as he said in the same level tone he used to tell me to water the mules, feed the hogs, and watch out for snakes in the corncrib: ‘Boil some water, quick, Son, I’ve killed a whole house of chickens—and one damned rooster.’” My father, by the way, said, “You know I would never say that!” And I could not take “damned” out. The whole tale would have fallen apart. . . . 3 Cents Pulp, a literary magazine in Canada, took it and published it. I told Linda I could write like that forever. Well, I could not and cannot,

for one day I (we) wake up and cannot remember things from childhood. This is a way of saying you write out of your background, your roots. You write about what you don’t know, too. ONC: Your childhood provided a wealth of material…

SS: Probably the hardest thing, and yet it’s where you should go, is the vulnerable. . . I think I’m using vulnerable in the sense of this: We start writing and we want to say something, whatever—ideas about God, religion, sex, name any of the big subjects—religion, love, death and so on. Well, basically, maybe that’s what I started doing. All those subjects have been “done.” And for good or bad, I turned to what was around me all along: family, the farm, the animals—yes, all the dogs my father hunted, naming them for movie stars. . . .So eventually I wrote about these things. The possum, for example, I’ve written two books on the possum. [It’s] a vulnerable subject—well, yes, considering that the possum is mostly the brunt of bad jokes. My possum is serious. ONC: Does poetry-writing require a lot of revising and re-writing?

SS: I write a lot, I have written a lot, and the magic word is “cut.” That’s one thing I learned at a workshop. The other thing is let it get cold, and then come back to it. But if you don’t keep writing, you don’t have anything to look at. It’s a way of life. It’s like drinking water. ONC: Are some aspects of writing more challenging than others?

SS: I’m not good at promoting myself.. . .[Now] James Dickey—he

probably was good at promoting himself. He did not have to, though; those early poems, especially, are wonderful and visionary, soft and musical down in the lines. Later he (I think) kind of started almost yelling. And he, oh, he abused his body so. He was fragile as a person, like most of us are. I always think of Emily Dickinson, who could not get published during her lifetime. [Herman] Melville’s name was wrongly spelled in his obituary. [He] died forgotten because he did not give the public what it eats. ONC: Throughout the course of our conversation, you’ve mentioned a number of writers— you seem to have a great awareness of other artists. . .

SS: I am very interested in the correspondence between art and fame. I especially think of Don Gibson, Hank Williams, George Jones, and so on, Hendrix, Joplin— singers and songwriters who lived hard and lived fast and died young. Some writers did that, too—Dylan Thomas. There are others who wrote and lived “normal” lives: William Stafford, W.C. Williams, Maxine Kumin, and on and on. ONC: And from a poet living a “normal” life in Johnston County, North Carolina, any parting thoughts on poetry?

SS: Poetry just is. No one can say it is One thing. That is the joy of trying to make a poem. It’s fun. POEMS BY STEPHENSON, PAGE 40

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The Farm That Farms New Houses Beside the poinsettias Blowing out of the graveyard, A bull, forsaken, Suns among the granite. Fields brown the dozer’s tread. Wood, nails, cement, a pile of bricks − With every hammer’s fall, a cul-de-sac. My farmboy throws up his hands, Hoes his row, blows his nose, rubs his neck. Freckles forlorn his shoulders round. Hill upon hill, ridges, mounds, He works through hail and hell. Streetlamps leap his face’s glow. 40 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

BY SHELBY STEPHENSON

He roaches his hair. The sweet surround crowns his scars. Delusion weighs brick entrances, cars, Moneyed ease his red neck Wreathes, chainlinked. They are farming houses right up to the creek. No more skipperbugs skating and fish rolling in shallows. The forkedtailed channelcat, pumpkinseed, rockbass, horsefish, suckers − gone − The upsidedown leaves, limbs surfacing reflections, the little yellow and white Butterflies bouncing at my feet! What of this place I keep? How shall my body Leave the creek’s throat in my bones? (Acknowledgement: The Hunger of Freedom: Red Dashboard, 2014)

CAROLINACONVERSATIONS

This Place, Their Praise BY SHELBY STEPHENSON

This place, their praise: hill and house, Where they have kept the earth for decades − I am dying for the meadowlark to spill its song This October day, naming it, Hoping my mind might ground an image. The plowman, his sweep spreading Clods the way a mole might, And the mule’s neck nodding silence except for trace-chains Brushing a scab on her side, scrubbing burlap; The pulling has been so long A part of the flare her nostrils dribble Slanting mucous beside the rows, Closure a drowning Surrender toward persistence Preceding this thrusting angle to pen in furrow-time The way the mule’s eyes weep One fabric, women and men, Slaves under unmarked ground There in the Old Stephenson Cemetery, Boundless as the ground’s Silence the slaves were buried in − Coming here, I cross the stream, Remember an old woman over a washpot, Stirring cracklins, unrest brought low, The tale, untold, still, its bobends Dobbing at seed-zero This spot, the sun on my foot, My seat a November slant of summertime Holding the ragged one over the cauldron, Her fires many colors whirling centuries, Fringes I try to place. Into the boiling organpipe, what musicale, Luminous vapors Raking the hand that strokes the nostrils − A run away mule, a beloved child, Smaller than a Halloween ghost swaddled in leaves Left out of a trickster’s oven overnight. Overall the hammer-sun nails the daisies. The soil breaks for a new house.

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ROAD SCHOLAR

By ANN ROBSON , Special to OutreachNC | Photography courtesy ROAD SCHOLAR

hil Starr of Whispering Pines is a perfect goodwill ambassador for the Road Scholar program. “In retirement, I’m learning about many things I didn’t have time for before,” Starr says. A retired engineer who worked on computer systems, he admits he has no idea why he became an engineer when what he really loves is culture, philosophy, politics and religion. He is making up for lost time with the help of various Road Scholar programs. The Road Scholar program evolved from Elderhostel programs and now offers 5,500 tours in all 50 states and 150 countries. Starr has been to about 20 programs from the Canadian Maritimes to Key West to San Antonio to Louisiana. There are still many he plans to attend and is hoping to do one of the overseas programs. Starr could not say which program he liked best because

each offered something different that made it special in its own way. He enjoys the camaraderie of the participants. The in-depth study of different topics makes him want to continue taking Road Scholar trips. He encouragers those who are interested in “more than sightseeing” to consider Road Scholar programs. “The guides are excellent, and you see much more than the average tourist,” Starr says. In North Carolina, there are more than 30 Road Scholar programs. Topics from the Biltmore Estate to birding on the Outer Banks are two of the most popular. Many programs feature parts of the Great Smokey Mountains. The culture and customs of the Scots-Irish settlers, Appalachian customs and Cherokee society are also Road Scholar programs. Some programs are five days in duration, usually beginning on Sunday evening and concluding

Friday. Times do vary as some programs are three days long. There are occasionally one- or two-day programs, too. “Remarkable value” is how Starr describes the Road Scholar programs. Their all-inclusive prices have no hidden costs. The original Elderhostel programs were often held on college campuses with accommodations in dormitories. That image has changed and accommodations are now much more diverse. Usually all meals are included so participants don’t have to wonder where to dine. Each tour offers a detailed outline and states how many meals come with the program. Lifelong learning and lasting friendships are results and greatest benefits of being a Road Scholar. Many participants rave about the instructors who are considered experts in their fields. They are also committed to the idea of lifelong learning and willingly answer

"In retirement, I'm learning about many things I didn't have time for before."

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destination:

Retirement

Havana, Cuba

— Phil Starr Road Scholar

Hiking in the Canadian Rockies

Phil Starr’s Elderhostel passport details trips he has taken with the Road Scholar programs across the country. For more information on the Road Scholar program, call 800-454-5768 or visit www.roadscholar.org .

questions from participants. In many cases, the instructors are local people who have a wealth of knowledge to share. Road Scholar programs are inclusive and welcoming for solo participants. Starr can attest to this as he was a single man on most of his trips. The educational focus of the programs makes Road Scholar different from a commercial travel tour. Side-by-side comparison illustrates the more in-depth focus of Road Scholar. Starr experienced that firsthand when a number of

area residents took a commercial tour of Yellowstone and other national parks. Both he and they traveled parallel places, but Starr saw behind the scenes of many of nature’s wonders while those on the commercial tour visited a more restricted route. From expert-led lectures and field trips to comfortable lodgings and meals, Road Scholar handles all the details, thus taking the worry out of planning so participants can focus on enjoying the learning experience. A travel assistance program is included to provide 24-hour emergency coverage. Starr appreciates the planning and organization being done for him making it a stress-free way to travel. “If sightseeing is your thing, that’s fine,” Starr says, “but if you want to know about the history, culture, philosophy and religion of the sights you are seeing, then Road Scholar programs are for you.”

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COLORS OF COFFEE

By CARRIE FRYE | Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

44 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

Fresh morning brew swirls with cream and sugar in a mug on the desk beside two easels as meticulous hands take to the canvas. “I have to be fast and very careful, but I am usually working on two paintings at the same time so I don’t get bored,” says Sanford artist Jasmine Villalobos. “And there’s nothing better than a good cigar and a cup of coffee in the morning,” she adds, laughing, as she continues painting with her own special concoctions of aged coffee creating masterful works of art in hues of her favorite drink. “I have about six coffeemakers, but I usually make one big pot and drink it all day,” she says. “I can even drink old coffee.” Born and raised in Costa Rica in Central America, Villalobos’ family grew coffee beans. “I started drinking coffee in a bottle when I was a baby,” she says, with a quick grin. “When they’re growing, the beans are red and sweet. I started painting with coffee when I was 12 years old. I would be doing my homework and stick my finger in the coffee and doodle.” Her missionary parents moved the family to North Carolina when Villalobos was a teenager, and she brought her love for coffee and painting along with her. “The sugars in the coffee bean make it darker when it is aged for painting,” explains Villalobos. “Different coffees have different hues. I started playing with the formula for coffee paint

Sanford artist Jasmine Villalobos masterfully paints works of art with aged coffee in her studio in the North Carolina Arts Incubator in Siler City. For additional information, visit www.deepriverworkshop.com or www.ncartsincubator.org .

using different strengths of coffee. A South American coffee has more red or orange tints.” Villalobos is one of what seems to be only a handful of artists in the world using coffee as paint. She saves and recycles all kinds of glass containers to age different brews of coffee for her paintings. Over six months to a year, the aging process turns the coffee into a thick paste, which she finds perfect for painting and bringing her visions into realities. Not only does it take time for the coffee to age for painting purposes, the layering process Villalobos uses to create intricate coloration can take several months to reach her liking. “All of the paintings start with a sketch in charcoal,” she says. “All of the browns are coffee,” she says looking at one of her pieces. “I’m still searching for a blue coffee.” For those blues or other bright colors, Villalobos does use acrylic paints to complement the coffee. Her painting, "Amazing Grace," depicts a ballerina-like figure painted in shades of coffee with the world in her palm with a vibrant red backdrop. “We are grounded by the grace of God as we walk through life,” says Villalobos. “All of these things,” she says, pointing to the long, flowing strokes, "are little blessings, a river of blessings. Life is a circle.” Whatever shapes or figures Villalobos uses to bring her paintings to life, she also adds a heart shape somewhere within the painting. “I paint feelings and emotions,” Villalobos says, “whether they’re sweet and happy or sad and disturbing. They are all in my heart. The ideas are born long before they end up on a canvas.” CONTINUED PAGE 46

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 45

She also paints on a variety of mediums like canvas, newsprint, leather or her latest idea of antique maps, on which she paints a person from the region depicted on the map. “Newspaper is very fragile,” she says, pointing to another of her paintings, which are on display in downtown Siler City at the North Carolina Arts Incubator, a nonprofit formed in 2004 to grow local artisans in empty industrial buildings that has become an economic spark for both the town and the artists. With a retail gallery, coffee shop and studio spaces, artists create and display a plethora of mediums. The incubator hosts its 3rd Friday Artwalk monthly from 6-9 p.m. so artists can showcase their works and wares to the community mixed with fun, food and live music. “The incubator family…” says Villalobos, “we share so much. There’s always somebody here working. It is so good to see young artists finding their way. We teach each other.” Teaching is something that comes as naturally to Villalobos as painting. Her full-time job is teaching art and graphic design to her students at the Boys & Girls Clubs of Sanford/Lee County. “There’s something about teaching kids and seeing that inspiration in their eyes,” says Villalobos, who has seen that spark in both of her daughters, ages 6 and 11. “They are both little artists.” Villalobos’ first showing of her work was at the Sanford Arts and Vine Festival in May. With her generous spirit, she also donated an amazing piece depicting an older woman reading to a child on a silk canvas called “Legacy” for a Lee County Partnership for Children fundraiser 46 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

earlier this year. “Eventually, I would like to paint full-time, which I guess is every artist’s dream,” Villalobos says. “I have tried to stop painting, but I can’t. It’s my therapy. Time just stops when I’m painting. Some people run, I paint.” For Villalobos, inspiration is not hard to find. It surrounds her in everything from her travels to an emotion to her love for nature and the environment to anything that catches her eye. “Every little thing gets me. I love wrinkles,” she says, “They tell a story, and you can tell a life lived.” Villalobos is also content to be living and painting in North Carolina and to call Sanford home. “I love sweet tea, fried chicken, front porches and that feeling of home where your neighbors know you. I had my girls here, so it’s home.” With a small portable heater blowing warm air toward her canvases, a mug of coffee and the hum of the custom guitar shop above, her home away from home is her Siler City studio on the bottom floor of the N.C. Arts Incubator, where she also does sculptures. “I’m all happy with the heat while I paint and with clay in my toes from the wheel,” she says, laughing. “I’m trying to tame the potter’s wheel. I really enjoy it, and it frees me.” Sharing and selling her art is something Villalobos is learning to embrace, because all of her works remain so close to her heart. “The paintings are like children,” she says. “My wish is that they touch someone and stir an emotion or thought and make a connection. I want people to love them and treat them like a treasure, and I will just continue to paint.”

"I have tried to stop painting, but I can't. It's my therapy. Time just stops when I'm painting. Some people run, I paint." — Jasmine Villalobos Artist, Sculptor & Designer

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AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 47

OUTREACHNC SPECIAL SERIES

eople collect all kinds of things, from coins to stamps to baseball cards to snuff boxes. P.W. Jessup collects knowledge. This friendly dentist from Fayetteville loves to learn and always has for as long as he can remember. He just can't get enough of it. Although he may be of retirement age, that subject isn’t on his mind or focus. Still working Monday through Thursday, he makes time for his real passions for learning, reading and attending countless educational seminars an array of topics.

He went to school less than a year at White Oak (School), but he was a well-educated man. He was very good at math, and he was loaded with common sense. He loved to read; I think he was addicted to newspapers because he read everything in them.” Books are Jessup's addiction, which is why he spends so much time at the library. It's like a candy store for him – all of those treasures, just waiting for him to take home and devour. He considers every book an opportunity, and he never wants to pass up an opportunity.

A Love for

Learning By THAD MUMAU | Photography by DIANA MATTHEWS

"I have no plans for retirement,” Jessup says. “I am petrified of that word. I think it is important to stay active, and that's what I intend to do. I have enjoyed good health, and I like seeing and helping people. That is what I do, what I like to do . . . being a dentist and learning. “Learning is kind of a hobby. I must have gotten it from my father. 48 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

His other haven is a classroom, the consummate place to learn, more specifically, the classroom at the Carolina College for Lifelong Learning in Chapel Hill. In recent years, that has become his sanctuary, where he goes to soak up the wonderful knowledge of learned folks, experts, from all areas of academia and experience.

Jessup, though, is happy to learn from anyone. Greeting a patient with that winning smile of his, a question of some sort will soon follow. As much as Jessup respects the shrines of higher education, he is quick to acknowledge that there is plenty of learning to pull from the university of life with all of its diverse adventures. “I love people,” he says. “You never can tell what you'll find out when you start talking to somebody . . . anybody. They say that everybody has a story; well, everybody has something we can learn from. I am

them to date. The courses offer credit for teachers toward renewing their certificates. Teachers from all over North Carolina attend the classes, which begin with a lengthy Friday night session, resume Saturday morning and wrap up that afternoon. “There are usually 120 in each class,” Jessup explains. “They just about fill up for every one. What is amazing to me is the people who come. There are always names you would recognize, folks who want to learn. A lot of them aren't going for

is exciting. “The teachers are experts, but all of the experts aren't standing in front. There are many sitting out there in the audience.” Every single class gets Jessup's adrenalin going. But he does have some favorites. “My very favorite was ‘The New Testament,’ taught by Bart Ehrman. And there were several taught by Gerhard Weinberg (a German-born American diplomatic and military historian noted for his studies in the history of World War II) – Russia

P.W. Jessup has a passion for learning and reading that fills his free time and takes him to many educational sessions at the Carolina College for Lifelong Learning in Chapel Hill. There, he studies an array of subjects from the arts to sciences and current events and enjoys meeting new people with fascinating backgrounds. For more information on lifelong learning programs, call 919962-0313 or visit humanities.unc.edu or www.alumni.unc.edu and click on the “Travel & Lifelong Learning” tab.

just fascinated by folks – where they come from, what they have done, what they might be doing today.” Jessup has spent many a weekend in Chapel Hill . . . not at Kenan Stadium or the Dean Dome, though he does get a kick out of cheering for the Tar Heels . . . no, he's there attending class. Taking what he refers to as "mini-courses," 178 of

the credit the teachers need; they're just interested in what is being taught. “These people teaching the classes are trying to tell us – whether it's religion or history or philosophy – how something unfolded and got to where it is today. They stimulate questions and discussions. Just being there, in the middle of all that information, all of that knowledge,

and World War II, the Holocaust, D-Day and the Battle of the Bulge. “These courses are packed and some are repeated, with many of the same people taking them a second time. The lectures are just unbelievable.” Lots of people enjoy learning about something that already interests them. CONTINUED PAGE 50

AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 49

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 49

Jessup is different. He is intrigued with the idea of finding out more about anything. That's why he is such a voracious reader and why he gets excited when a speaker takes the podium to share what he or she knows about a subject. Any subject. He is hungry for knowledge. “I think my father was like that. Percy Wells Jessup Sr. was his name. He had this little red pickup truck. It was a GMC. He and I would ride for hours. We'd ride to the ferry 16 miles away, and we would ride across the Cape Fear River. We would talk about all kinds of things. My father knew a lot about a lot of things, and he had a great sense of humor. He was the funniest person I've ever been around.” Jessup grew up in Elizabethtown. His father was in the logging business and did some farming too. What he really knew a lot about was life. “I guess I'm some like him,” Jessup says. “I would like to think I am the kind of person he was, because he was mighty good.” Reading came naturally for P.W. It was all around him. His mother read books by Norman Vincent Peale and Peter and Catherine Marshall. His brother, Pat, is a reader, and so is his sister, June Marie Smith. “I'm always asking people what they are reading,” Jessup says. “I go to the library every Friday and get five or six books. I mostly scan them and take all but one or two back the next week. I'll get more into reading the ones I keep. 50 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

“I never turn on the radio to hear music or that talk stuff. I listen to a lot of lectures and will listen to a book occasionally. I don't go to many movies, but I did love Harper Lee's ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’ That is my favorite book made into a movie. “Learning is my entertainment,” he says. “I think we are put here to learn, and then we should take what we learn and use it to help somebody.” Jessup finds Abraham Lincoln captivating, a deep and truly interesting man who possessed tremendous compassion along with an instinctive ability to communicate with people. “I have read so much about Lincoln, and I'm always eager to read more. I think William Faulkner is probably America's greatest writer. I liked ‘As I Lay Dying’ by him, and I liked Philip Roth's ‘Everyman.’ I don't read much fiction; I'm usually reading history.” Jessup met his wife, Martha, while he was a student at the University of North Carolina School of Dentistry. She was there studying to be a dental assistant. Asked how long he has been married (since 1969), he laughs and says, “Well, I think I was wearing short pants when we had the wedding. I love Martha's sense of humor. I figured she had a good one since she laughed at my jokes.” Jessup has volunteered his services to the National Guard the past three and a half years, joining other dentists to provide exams and treatment for soldiers who have been, and may soon be, deployed. “That is one of the most gratifying things I have done,” he says. “I go

once every three months to Raeford or Fort Bragg, Kinston, Durham, Fort Fisher or Wilmington. The soldiers appreciate it so much.” Those men and women are likely to get the same treatment as Jessup's long-time patients in Fayetteville. And it goes like this: While probing around in their mouths, the friendly dentist will say, “Well, let me ask you this . . .” He is always trying to learn more.

When he’s not reading a great book or attending an educational seminar in Chapel Hill, Fayetteville dentist P.W. Jessup can be found on most workdays still in his dental office taking care of the oral health of his patients like Tish Herrmann.

Belle Weather by Celia Rivenbark

Got ideas but need funding?

Nothing personal, but melons are meant to be shared

don't want to scare anyone but something is tearing at our social fabric and I'm not talking about tiny rebellious mice. Social media replacing human contact? Sure, but that's old news. We've come to accept as completely commonplace couples texting instead of talking even while on a date. Video games that are played all night instead of actually going out with friends? Yeah, that's pretty sad, but still not what I have in mind. No, no. I'm speaking of the worst thing I've seen yet in the everescalating war on interpersonal relationships and normal human interaction. I refer, of course, to the "personal-size watermelon." Yes! It's everywhere. And it's usually about 4 bucks of red-meated, greenstriped clannishness guaranteed to drip its antisocial juices down your chin. It's deceptively cute, portable enough to easily toss into your grocery cart. From there you can take it home and cut into it and ... eat it all by yourself. Half the charm of eating watermelon is sharing it with others. Apples? Peaches? Those are solitary fruits, meant for more introspective moments of consumption. Not so the watermelon. It's the party girl of fruits. Can you imagine anything sadder than a personal melon filled with booze just for you? Always winning the seed-spitting contest because you're the only one competing? It's crazy if you ask me. Some things are meant to be communal no matter what. I know what you're thinking but this isn't the same as the "personal pizza." Not by a long shot.

For instance, I love anchovies. Nobody else in the family can stand them. So I get my very own pie adorned with hairy little fish filled with flavor and everybody's happy. But watermelons? They're all the same and that's part of the charm. You buy one at a roadside stand, or a farmers' market, or even a sterile chain supermarket. Matters not. Because once it's in your possession, you are going to lug it home and maybe chill it a bit before you spread out some old newspaper and call a few friends to help you eat it. Personal-size watermelons? There are just some things that should always be shared with as many people as possible: kind words, homemade lasagna, John Hamm. And some things that should never be shared: toothbrushes, my armrests on the airplane, medical advice from Jenny McCarthy. Years ago, when I worked for a small rural newspaper, I took pictures of oversize and oddly shaped produce like it was my job. Because, well, it was my job. Watermelons were very competitive as you might imagine. The big melon usually ended up on the front page of the paper if there wasn't a Kiwanis meeting that week. Many times, after the picture was taken and we were sure it was front page-worthy, we would use the office "birthday cake knife" to slice it up and share. Like the good Lord intended. Amen and pass the salt shaker.

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Rivenbark is the author of "Rude Bitches Make Me Tired." Visit www. celiarivenbark.com . Distributed by MCT Information Services.

AUGUST 2014

OutreachNC.com 51

GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 54

ACROSS 1. "Check this out!" 5. Chowder morsel 9. Like a stuffed shirt 13. Diamond Head locale 14. LP player (hyphenated) 15. Put an edge on 17. Arab League member

Air As Ax Be Car Creates Dam Dew Do Echoing Eye Few Fig Fly Get Got Had He His Hunts Icy Ink

18. Aardvark fare 19. Be bombastic 20. Entices (2 wds) 22. Small fruit-filled pastry 24. "The Three Faces of ___" 25. "It's no ___!" 26. "A jealous mistress": Emerson 27. "___ fallen ..." (contraction)

52 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014

Intend It Kid Knife Lazier Lid Lie Listening

28. "Do the Right Thing" pizzeria owner 29. Causes oneself to move 31. Barbie's beau 32. Assignation 34. Feeling remorse for one's sins 36. Institution for parentless children 39. One who makes ready 42. Draconian 46. Call, as a game 47. Reach 50. "___ moment" 51. Santa's helper 52. Male sheep (British) 53. "... ___ he drove out of sight" 54. Caribbean, e.g. 55. Shore, esp. a resort area 57. Common deer of Europe and Asia (2 wds) 59. Ban 60. Cat's scratcher 62. Jerk 63. Acrylic fiber 64. Sky box? 65. On the safe side, at sea 66. Brings home 67. Lentil, e.g. 68. Ball material

DOWN 1. Having the least wealth 2. Russian urn

May Mustn't No Oats Of Oil Or Own

Panic Phone Puts Sack Sank Script Sets Sir Ski So Tea Tip Ton Toy Try Very Visible We Who Yard Yes Yet

3. Having a pleasing figure 4. Correct pitch 5. Light, open horse-drawn carriage 6. Small Old World finch 7. Astern 8. Wrong 9. Myopic 10. "Beetle Bailey" creator Walker 11. Dissimilar 12. Square things (2 wds) 16. Hinged catch that prevents backward wheel movement 21. Deductions 23. "Gladiator" setting 30. In pieces 33. Absorb, with "up" 35. Oolong, for one 37. Pleased with oneself 38. Persistent naggings, esp. of husband 39. Fast 40. Brush up on 41. Capable of being expressed in words 43. Red skin rash 44. Villain, at times 45. Listen attentively 48. Freshen 49. Served aboard an aircraft or ship 56. Dirty coat 58. June 6, 1944 (hyphenated) 61. Deception

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great deal is made about getting older—most of it negative. Adding days and years, even minutes and hours, is something to be celebrated. This month, my minutes, hours and days are adding up to 75 years. 75? How did I get here? I guess I did it just like everyone else—one day at a time. I certainly have never given much thought to reaching any given age. When you’re 16, life is a banquet waiting for you. When you’re 21, you’ve had a small taste of that banquet called life and can hardly wait to see what lies ahead. Then suddenly, you’re looking at 75! Where did the time go? What have I done with all those minutes and hours? I know enough not to wonder what’s ahead. There are a few other things I know now that I didn’t back at 21. A loving family is better than gold. Coming a close second are loving friends, both old and new. Friends help fill in the spaces in life when you no longer live geographically close to family. As we have moved around, we’ve added to our blessings with friends from Fairmont, West Virginia; Oswego, New York; Cleveland, Ohio; Detroit, Michigan; Kentucky; and now North Carolina. I’ve learned to never say “never.” Then I learned to never say goodbye. My family says I always want the last word and yes, I do. Not in an argument (although that’s OK, too) but in conversations. I’m pretty sure I can trace that trait to good oldfashioned Irish stubbornness. Over the years, I’ve gathered a lot of stories and tend to use them to make a point. I’ve done a lot of community work for a good majority of these 75 years, thus many interesting tales have attached themselves to my repertoire. One sign

of my age might be that I sometimes can’t remember the participants in a story or where it happened. Years ago, I heard an older woman say, “Oh, my mind must be full,” when she forgot something. I have borrowed her phrase many times. I’ve learned that forgiveness and second, third or even tenth chances must be part of life. Carrying grudges is a heavy task, so let’s let them go. I’ve learned that real people appreciate you for who you are, not what you have or what you can do for them. I’ve also learned that real people are sincere, kind and caring and I’m lucky to know them. As for pretend people, we are not really in the same universe. I know that I’ve had a very good life and express gratitude daily. That does not make me blind to those who are struggling, even though one dear friend keeps telling me that I can’t fix the world. Maybe not, but I can keep trying. I’m particularly grateful to still have a writing career. When I thought I might be put out to pasture, OutreachNC came along. I may be the token “older” person at the magazine, but it’s great fun to be part of a bright, young and talented bunch. My only brother, younger of course, tells me each year to “consider the alternative” to having a birthday. He means well. A good friend gave me words for us all to live by: It’s not how old you are, it’s how you are old. So let the celebration begin!

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60 OutreachNC.com AUGUST 2014