OUTSPOKEN THE VOICE FOR ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILD ABUSE
6 REAL SURVIVORS REALITIES OF THE AFTERMATH OF CHILD ABUSE
COULD YOU HAVE
BINGE EATING DISORDER? THERE IS
WONDER-WORKING POWER
Tracey Mitchell
‘Downside Up’
Transform rejection into Your Golden Opportunity
IN YOUR GIFT
A GUIDE TO DECODING
AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE
SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER:
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YOUR ANTI-SUICIDE PLAN
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January 2012
OUTSPOKEN
SECTION
FALL 2013
Publisher Winsome Alexander
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Artistic Director Sarah Glinsmann
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Senior Photographer Scott Boden Contributing Photographers Carla Wallace-Lewis Mark Edwards Caitlyn Wilson Editorial Assistant Tonya Blue Contributing Writers Kerry Gallagher Ronald Roseboro Sarah Burleton Katana Malone Rhett Hackett Treva Johnson Columnists Dr. Howard Fradkin Martin Henderson Tracy Mitchell
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Subscribe to OUTSPOKEN Magazine Free Digital Subscription: www.outspokenmagazine.org; Print Subscription: $20 per year (4 issues) OUTSPOKEN Magazine is published quarterly in both print and digital formats. Advertising contained herein does not constitute endorsement. Signed columns are the opinions of the writers and not necessarily the opinions of the publisher, advertisers, or their agencies. All copy is protected and cannot be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Copyright 2013
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W i fi
FALL 2013
W i T r
W u a t
W b
OUR MISSION
OUTSPOKEN
JULIA FREEMAN-WOOLPERT
OUR MISSION
The truth is... child abuse does not end in childhood. The trauma can cause lifelong emotional damage. We believe the truth will make you free. We aim to increase awareness of the long-term, often lifelong effects of abuse. We believe in placing blame where it rightfully belongs; not for condemnation but for accountability, in effort to break the abuse cycle. Facing the truth of the abuse that happened is a most important first step towards recovery. We believe that every life has a purpose. The abused one who was cast aside, ridiculed and overlooked, as well as the abusers who might have acted out what was done to them, were all made for a good reason. We believe the purpose of each person is directly connected to the natural God-given gifts woven into the fibers of each of us when we were originally formed in secret in the image of God. Therefore, we strongly support using our gifts to help in the healing of battered emotions and recovery from life failures. We believe the gifts we were given will make room for us in the marketplace and will provide for us both spiritually and materially. We believe in the use of our gifts to glorify God, to bless others and to bring us prosperity. We believe the use of our gifts will help bring us back to our original self: the self that thrived before abuse interrupted our development. We believe anyone can accomplish great things with just a little support, and we believe we have been called to offer some of that support.
OUTSPOKEN Magazine FALL 2013
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OUTSPOKEN
CONTENTS
Contents 26
10
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17 34
14
Cover story 26 Tracey Mitchell: ‘Downside Up’ Transform Rejection into Your Golden Opportunity
Features 10 There Is Wonder-Working Power in Your Gift ON THE COVER: TRACEY MITCHELL.
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12 Suicide Is Not the Answer Your Anti-suicide Plan
6 Real Survivors Realities of the Aftermath of Child Abuse
In this issue
19 A Guide to Decoding Affordable Health Care
Outspeak . . ............................. Page 6 Winsome Revelations....... Page 7 Speaking Tall.................... Page 14 Health & Wellness.......... Page 19
21
Unspeakable Things...... Page 25
Could You Have Binge Eating Disorder?
Tell Your Story . . ................ Page 34
Fatherhood Matters....... Page 32 On a Lighter Note.......... Page 43 Resources.. ........................ Page 44
WANTED: ADVERTISING DIRECTOR TO BRING MORE SPONSORS TO OUTSPOKEN MAGAZINE. PLEASE SEE REQUIREMENTS ON PAGE 16 AND EMAIL WALEXANDER@OUTSPOKENMAGAZINE.ORG.
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FALL 2013
Feeling lost, lonely, desperate?
When it seems like there’s no hope, there is
help.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK (8255) With help comes hope.
E
L
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration www.samhsa.gov
Printed 2006 • Reprinted 2009 • CMHS-SVP06-0162
OUTSPOKEN
OUTSPEAK
OUT peak
READERS TALK BACK
A sensitive subject I read with interest the Spring issue of “Outspoken”. First, I would like to commend you on your decision to add a column by Dr. Howard Fradkin. He is a highly regarded professional and a “treasure.“ While not a survivor of sexual abuse, I have a very strong interest in the effect that abuse has upon survivors and their families. Now to my concern. As a woman, I think the advertisement for Summer’s Eve is not affirming of women and not a message that those who read your magazine need to hear. Those women who are fragile about their sexuality and self worth do not need to hear “you are dirty, stinky, etc. etc.” The reference to “one pad a day” was totally unnecessary. The comment re: shaving regularly is in conflict with Summer’s Eve online Vagina Owner’s Manual Detailing Section frame 24 which clearly stipulates that pubic hair is there for a reason... . Neither my gynecologist nor I know of a many women who totally shave and she, my gynecologist, does not recommend douching. Need I say more…and I could! I do not care to venture a guess as to why the advertiser used such a crude way of advertising their products but if you continue to advertise Summer’s Eve products, I would have them “clean up their act”; otherwise you may be adding to the damage done to those women who read your magazine besides sending false messages to men. Good luck with OUTSPOKEN. OUTSPOKEN: Thank you so much for your feedback. Your concerns are duly noted. As a survivor of severe child abuse and neglect, I can personally relate to many of the topics I publish or write about, and as you can see from snippets of my own story, I am passionate about being very blunt regarding challenges that affect this segment of our population. While it is never my intention to insult or hurt, I personally feel that it is important to be direct
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in counseling or editorial nurturing. Otherwise, the message is too often “lost’ or learned much later than necessary when sugar-coated or not dealt with at all for fear of offending. I feel these are the very reasons we have trouble getting survivors to speak up and get much-needed help: fear of offending and fear of being criticized. I speak for adult survivors of child abuse who are not able, for whatever reason, to speak for themselves. The magazine is called OUTSPOKEN with the goal to bring hidden issues to light and to discuss in the raw those concerns that most would rather not touch. The result of childhood abuse in not only psychological. Some of us were not taught basic life skills, while onlookers who don’t understand our deficits, wonder why we are not able to manage our lives like “normal” others. I come across many a woman who need and appreciate this information. The article you mentioned was strategically placed in the “Unspeakable Things” section of the publication where controversial and provocative subjects of the personal opinion of the publisher, myself, are discussed. Opinions on any matter will differ; therefore, your response is not surprising and most certainly welcomed. But, I did not call anyone dirty or stinky; this is not who I am. And “one pad a day” was my personal truth, as uncomfortable as it might be for someone else. It might actually be comforting for another woman to realize she was not alone in having to make do with one pad a day. Truth is, J.C., sometimes I had none! Summer’s Eve was not the only product suggested for hygiene problems, and all the suggestions were made to help those who might need it. Nowhere in the writing was any ill intended, only a deep desire to help as I have and am being helped. That being said, your tips and interest have been humbly received with trust in your good-will intentions toward OUTSPOKEN. I most certainly appreciate your time and am grateful for your blessing. If you would like to connect via phone, contact me at 713-445-6880. Enjoy a peaceful day, L.J. Readers Talk Back – To submit your questions, comments, suggestions or articles, email: walexander@outspokenmagazine.org
www.outspokenmagazine.org
FALL 2013
WINSOME REVELATIONS
OUTSPOKEN
Winsome Revelations From the Publisher
Fall 2013 – Let’s not give up
O
Winsome Alexander
UTSPOKEN Magazine: A survivor like its mother I’ve given up on many things in my life. I’m determined not to give up on OUTSPOKEN Magazine for that would be sending the message to fellow survivors
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that we can’t achieve our dreams. We hear the stories every day: Successful people all entertained ideas of letting go just before that big break. As I push for a higher degree of excellence, the right team members, the right support for this publication, I sometimes lose clarity. Sometimes, I take too-long breaks, I lose energy, I lose focus, along with a lot of my own hard-earned money, while I entertain thoughts of simply quitting. Life would be so much simpler if I just threw in the towel and admit defeat. I could just leave my day job, go home and unwind without chasing after contributors to submit information on time, managing other team members and professional partners who have their own challenges in addition to OUTSPOKEN, or dumping more of my paycheck into an unending pool of production and marketing expenses. But I can’t seem to walk away. I have a dream for this magazine to help make a difference for survivors of abuse, and I cannot abort the mission now. Part of the dream of empowering survivors was for you to watch me struggle to take an idea, step out on nothing and, through determination and hard work, create the reality I dream about. I hope my legacy to survivors is that they learn that they, too, can live on and prosper after abuse. Working on this magazine has helped me heal in ways I never imagined. It has added purpose and direction to my life. It offers great fulfillment in knowing that OUTSPOKEN is reaching and changing lives even as it is changing mine. My hope is that as you painstakingly rebuild your own life after the devastation of abuse, you realize that you are not alone in the struggle to redefine yourself. OUTSPOKEN Magazine will continue to support you, even as we continue through the growing pains of a limited-resource, fledgling publication with a massive mission to change the world, one survivor at a time. We can’t give up because we exist to teach survivors to hold on to the dream of returning to the original you that thrived before the onslaught of physical, sexual or emotional abuse. OUTSPOKEN Magazine is a survivor – just like you. To advertise, donate to the work, or subscribe to OUTSPOKEN Magazine, go to www.outspokenmagazine.org.
Winsome Alexander Founder, ASCAR Centers Internatonal Adult Survivors of Child Abuse Recovery Centers OUTSPOKEN Magazine International, Inc. The Voice for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
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ADVERTISE WITH OUTSPOKEN
BREAK THE SILENCE Sponsor a section of OUTSPOKEN Magazine, and be compensated with tax-deductible representation of your company or organization. The size of your ad will be determined by the size of your donation. For details, please call 713-445-6880
OUTSPOKEN
There Is Wonder-Working
POWER in Your Gift
– Anonymous
I
t’s one of my most important healing tips to survivors; use your gift! Your gift will help heal you and repair your life. It even says in the Bible, “Your Gift Will Make Room for You” and I like to add … in the marketplace. I add “in the marketplace” because I firmly believe God gifted us with the means to provide for ourselves, our families and, of course, our neighbors. I believe God poured out a bit of himself in each of us and we become, as Beth Moore puts it, a display of His splendor, such that, we are able to perform mini-miracles whether we are conscious of this or not. Musicians work wonders with strings and vinyl and vocals and can change our moods with their talent. Writers can take us to other worlds with words masterfully recoded on paper. Designers lift our self-esteem with fashionable clothing and furniture. Surgeons perform mind-boggling operations with skill most of us can’t even imagine. Landscapers, farmers, shoe shiners, bankers, teachers, counselors, salespersons, magazine layout specialists, parents – all display gifts that the universe needs in order to function in perfect balance. And each of us has the power to phenomenally impact the world with the use of the one thing that only we can do.
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Do not neglect the gift that is in you 1st Timothy 4:14
Your special gift is that one thing that only you can do. Regardless of how many singers there are, there is only one Tamar Braxton, one Whitney Houston, Luther Vandross, Michael Jackson, Bob Marley or Tessanne Chin. Twin brothers have a knack for real estate but one has braun, the other has brains, hence The Property Brothers, and they complement each other well. Line all talk show hosts up and one stands out among the others, because there is only one Oprah, and there is only one YOU. Only you can do what you can do. In the case of survivors of abuse, very often our gifts and talents, which are the essential expression of who we are, get buried with the shame and trauma after abuse ravishes our normal development. In the day-to-day struggle to merely exist, we forget how we were originally meant to operate. We tend to loathe any image of our true
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FALL 2013
OUTSPOKEN
Purpose in our hands By Carrie Burt
Success is in your hand – follow my plan Fred Hammond
selves because that person is a representation of our shame and defeat. However, when we embark upon a serious recovery journey, it is necessary to return to the grave of that originally designed person and unearth them along with the gifts we buried. If we are brave enough to seek out, develop and use our gifts which are directly linked to our life purposes, we can more effectively reestablish our true paths to fulfillment. When we choose to use these gifts, we may unknowingly create opportunities for our livelihood. But if we never earn a respectable living from the gifts we choose to operate in, there are other important benefits. We will begin to enjoy our original selves as we practice the very things we were made to do. We have to because we were created for a specific purpose. We experience joy, peace and favor because we are directly tuned in to
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the mind of our creator when we use the gifts He gave us; it’s a form of worship. Every single one of us was equipped with a gift or several. We have to, because we were created for a purpose. Many of us think we have no clue what our gifts are, but we do. We may neglect ours because it is not like someone else’s. But what if your gift is the beautiful spirit of compassion? It might not make you the kind of money Janet Jackson’s gift makes her, and it may not have people hollering your name or singing along to temporary feel-good lyrics, but think how many lives you can make better for a lifetime with just a kind word or a giving spirit. A friend once paid my $750 rent for six whole months! This young lady was smart, had a kind and sensitive heart and a gift for landing really well-paying jobs, but she didn’t think she had purpose. Well, I’d say if you kept just one person from being homeless for six months, you have fulfilled a tremendous purpose. Because I had that financial support for several months, I was able to press ahead to this point rather than fall through the cracks like so many others in my situation did. Yes, your gift does contain wonder-working powers, and you should not take it lightly. Seek out your purpose and live it on some level, even if it’s through volunteering.
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MILOS MARKOVIC
The seat belt cannot save our lives if it is not latched Nor can the coat keep us warm if it is not around our backs The gloves cannot comfort our hands if they are lost somewhere, Nor can the umbrella give us shelter if is not there. The firearm cannot serve its purpose to protect us if it is carelessly used, Nor can the mechanic’s tool fulfill its purpose if it has been abused. The helmet cannot protect our skull if it is not upon our head, Nor can the bullet-proof vest work if it is not on our chest. The vehicle cannot take us to the destination if we don’t first maneuver it to the street, Nor can the sandals prevent blisters if they are not on our feet. The bread cannot nourish our bodies if it is not on our plate, Nor can we possess the character of patience if we have not learned how to wait. The spectacles cannot clarify the words we read if they are broken apart, Nor can the bible penetrate our souls if it’s not first studied and etched upon our hearts AND Our gifts cannot serve their purpose in our lives if they are not brought forth and used.
OUTSPOKEN
Suicide is not the answer
YO U R ANTI - S U I C I D E PLAN
T
he first thing you want to do is be aware! Don’t simply reject the idea because you think it could never happen to you. Think about it, talk about it, and take a stand against suicide!
T. AL NAKIB
Suicide attempts and suicide completions accomplish nothing but leave survivors with disaster cleanup for a very long time. Suicide gives glory to hopelessness and casts a dark shadow over the rest of humanity. But how does one defy the evil seduction of suicide? How does a feeble heart withstand tormenting whispers luring one into the dark deception that it is easier on the other side? I believe God calls us home and ushers us into His peaceful rest when our work here is done. So who or what calls us to suicide and what peace could be offered from one who torments? I think we all know the truth about the spirit of suicide. Misery would love your company, but you shouldn’t desire the company of misery. If all you can do is lie in bed all day or wander from pillow to post, hungry and begging, you are fighting the evil forces of suicide and winning. That might be the worst thing that could happen to you in life, but you have no idea what might be waiting for you on the other side of suicide. No need to feel guilty about attempting suicide though, it’s a desperate attempt to ease unimaginable pain and an outcry for help. It just doesn’t work. Those who have not thought about or attempted suicide yourself might not understand the depth of despair one must sink to in order to want to die. Our basic human instinct is to preserve life, so think about what oppresses us so
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T. AL NAKIB
OUTSPOKEN that we would rather die than experience the ups and downs of life? Pain in any form can become so unbearable that the only relief seems to be to just check out, but who says the pain doesn’t continue once you die? Who really knows? What we do know is that suicide is death occurring before its time, and that means whatever you were put here on the earth to conclude will not materialize if you suicide out. And it’s not only chronic mentally ill people who commit suicide. Any one of us can be at risk, especially if we don’t have certain factors in place to help prevent suicide should it ever face us. We can be getting along fine; life is great, we are healthy, happy and have everything we could possibly want … but disaster can strike any one of us at any time, and adversity can be so overwhelming we want to die rather than face the challenge. But suicide is not an effective means of solving our problems. We put in place insurance for our life, car, and home, but we don’t think of mental health insurance, mental health maintenance, or mental illness prevention. No one thinks adversity will come their way, so no contingencies are put in place to protect sanity. Here are some questions to challenge you to think about suicide and develop your own anti-suicide plan:
❍ What could be the most devastating thing that could happen to you? ❍ What could happen to hurt so badly you don’t want to live? ❍ What is your survival plan in case of any of these scenarios? How will you live on and prosper and possibly become an inspiration for someone else? Think about these things and make a save yourself plan:
❍ What if you lose a child to molestation or death? ❍ What if you lose your spouse? ❍ What if you lose your limbs or your health? ❍ What if you lose your job, home, your business, or your money? ❍ What if you make a horrible mistake against humanity, and the disgrace is so overbearing, you just don’t think you can live through the shame? ❍ What if the whole world finds out about a terrible secret you have been hiding? You don’t need to commit suicide! The heart can become so heavy, our outlook so gloomy, the darkness of depression so black, we can see no way out; but we have to be mindful that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
If Disaster Strikes!
❏ Try to remain calm so you can think rationally. ❏ Contact your crisis team (friends, family, clergy and professionals) and allow them to help you. ❏ Call your local crisis center/hotline or 1-800-273-TALK.
Preventive practices: anti-suicide things to do while all is well
Get at least an annual mental-health assessment: Do this right
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when you schedule all your other annual checkups. Have your children assessed as well. See a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor whether you think you might have a problem or not. A general mental-health assessment form can clue you and the professional to underlying issues that you might not recognize, or you can both rest assured that you are mentally fit and healthy with no need to worry. Get regular professional counseling: A counselor helps you sort through your thoughts and ideas and guides you to make the best decisions for yourself. Some people give up counseling because they have not found the right counselor. This relationship may be one of the most important in your life; therefore the right chemistry between counselor and client is very important to your wellbeing. If one counselor doesn’t work for you, try several others until you find one that fits. Keep up with your treatment: If you are in treatment for mental-health maintenance, keep your appointments, take medication as prescribed, and see your doctor for any concerns with your medicine. Don’t neglect your faith: This might be your best suicide prevention tool. Prayer, meditation, and worship of your higher authority – God – will help keep things in perspective for you. Choose wisely: Practice making wise decisions that carry the least risk of chaotic backlash. For example, save regularly, don’t overspend, and don’t spend money for bills on anything other than bills. Take good care of your children. Choose positive, well-meaning friends. Don’t drive drunk, don’t act on rage, etc. In other words, don’t put yourself in awkward positions in the first place. Get help for any issue you might have: Whether it is parenting, substance abuse, inability to keep a job, relationship issues, anger, lateness, overspending. Get help for you! Don’t keep secrets: Don’t keep everything to yourself; choose at least one safe person to share deep personal thoughts with. If there is no one you trust, tell it to a professional counselor. Don’t isolate: Make friends. Make a point of getting out and doing something for fun and relaxation. You know yourself well enough to sense when something about your thoughts or behaviors is off; do research on your particular concern and seek out professional help. Seriously make a list of things you can do to reduce stress: Practice healthy relaxation; find healthy ways to relax and unwind besides drinking, using drugs, pornography. Examples: take a walk, take a bath, watch a favorite TV show, read a book or magazine, talk on the phone, get a pedicure, get a massage, take the family out. Maintain a hobby: Many of us are multi-talented and have hobbies that could bring a smile to someone’s face. Use your gift or hobby to nurture someone. If you have a green thumb, grow plants for gifts or donations. If you write, volunteer for a magazine, newspaper, company or community newsletter. Don’t neglect the gift that is in you. Talk with your family about suicide: Tell them they don’t need to use suicide to solve problems. Give them anti-suicide strategies such as inviting them to talk to you about any problems they are facing. Make a vision chart: Cut out and paste on a chart pictures of things you would like to accomplish in life. If you have not accomplished everything, it is not time to commit suicide. If you have accomplished everything, make another one and include things you want to do for others. Work on your legacy: You might have everything you need to enjoy life, but what are you doing for others? How do you share your blessings with others? How would you like to be remembered when you are no longer here? Have a survival account: Try to save a little something for that rainy day. Regardless of how small it is, save something regularly. Treat yourself regularly: A new outfit, a pedicure, a massage – do something for you regularly. Give yourself something to look forward to.
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OUTSPOKEN
Unbreakable
E
SPEAKING TALL
One woman’s journey from broken childhood to resilience
veryday, a child is born into the world who has no control over the parents they’re born to or the environment they have to grow up in. Often, these very children have to grow up fast and find means of survival from abuse by the hands of an abuser or the revolving door of the foster care system. Nicole Marchman was one of those children who had to dodge threats of “I’ll kill you if you tell anyone I touched you” or the blow of punches in the face or kissing the kitchen floor after her 6’2” biological father would throw her on the floor whenever he was angry for 6 years of her childhood. At that stage of Nicole’s life, she began questioning, “Does God really love me? If so, why is my father abusing me and he is a Deacon of the Church? I thought church was a safe place and I don’t feel safe at all.” Nicole didn’t know a part of her childhood had to include living in the foster care system. To her, this meant freedom and a way of escape from a “house of hell.” Clear as day, Nicole remembers packing and thinking, “Finally, my sisters and I will be free from all torture.” When Nicole walked out of her room with the black trash bag filled, her mother and the social worker lady were talking; about what, she wasn’t sure. Nicole figured it was something important! “You’re ready, I see,” the social worker said. As the car pulled out of the driveway Nicole breathed a sigh of relief. “Finally, reporting all the abuse paid off!” she said out loud. She figured she was going to a foster home that would offer safety and somewhere she wouldn’t have to worry about finding a way to eat, avoiding any more physical abuse or trying to figure out if it was worth living anymore. After Nicole’s secnd foster home, she began thinking, “Here they have me in foster homes, with strangers, and they are no better than my parents. They punish you for no reason, and they put their hands on you. Isn’t the point of foster care meant to keep you safe from abuse?” At the age of 16, Nicole and her twin sisters were finally reunified in foster care. This made her feel complete. Because really, all she had were her twin sisters. By this point, Nicole had been placed in 16 different foster homes and three group homes. Why? Because the foster parents couldn’t or wouldn’t try to understand her emotions and behaviors. Instead, many of them did the “come get this child out of my home” phone call to Social Services. At this point, Nicole was exhausted, unable to trust adults and tried to commit suicide on three different occasions. She figured, “No one cares, no one wants me, so why should I care anymore?” At the age of 17, Nicole was asked if she would like to live with her aunt and uncle. Of course she agreed because she was tired of the foster care system and was ready for a new beginning. Nicole’s sisters followed her there. This was the best time of her life, until a year after residing with her relatives. Her past came back to haunt her. One day, one of Nicole’s male cousins came into her room, walked over
to her and began touching her private areas sexually. Nicole was in shock because she felt, “Why does this keep happening to me?” She kept quiet because yet again, she was told, “You’d better not tell anyone, and besides, they won’t believe you.” Of course, memories from her father’s sexual abuse haunted her and she remained silent until, the last time, her cousin was found on top of Nicole, with his pants down. This traumatic experience brought her to her safe haven – school. She told her counselor about the abuse taking place in the home, and before Nicole could defend herself at home, she was called a liar and told the famous “My son wouldn’t do that. You’re lying.” Once again, Nicole was in a place of loneliness and confusion. Now, at that point, there was no more foster care system, as Nicole was 19 years old. She had one or two choices: be homeless or enter into a relationship in order to escape homelessness. Nicole actually experienced both. For a week, she roamed the streets with no place to really call home, until one day, she decided to move in with her boyfriend. A few years passed until she got married. Shortly after her wedding and receiving legal custody of her twin sisters, Nicole realized she was walking in the shoes of her mother and repeating the cycle of abuse. It took Nicole nine years to build up enough courage to stand up to her abusive husband. “I will not be abused any longer.” That’s when she finally decided, “I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.” Too often, many individuals do not learn until the cost of death that their lives are too precious and their pasts don’t have to find their way into their futures. Nicole wants others to know they don’t have to be statistics. Rather, they can be a testimony to others! She didn’t understand this principle until after 27 years of her life. Once she understood this, Nicole has been able to apply her life’s traumas and use them to help others through local, national and international advocacy. She has also earned her masters degree in social work; become a foster parent; and served others as a homeless outreach specialist and motivational speaker. You may see how Nicole thrived by viewing her web site at www.unbreakablespiritarises.com and consider supporting her ministry by ordering your copy of her newly released book, Unbreakable Spirit Arises: From Broken Girl to Resilient Woman. In this book, you will receive messages of hope and healing but also tools to help anyone who has experienced trauma to cope and thrive daily. Speaking Tall: Conquerors of Abuse – We want to celebrate those who have bravely opened up, told their stories, sought help, done the work and have overcome the vestiges of abuse. We honor them for caring enough to become an example so you too can overcome. You too can heal and live like you were meant to.
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SPEAKING TALL
OUTSPOKEN
“I will not be abused any longer.” Nicole Marchman
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HELP
WANTED OUTSPOKEN Magazine is looking for an Advertising Director. Silence is our enemy. Help us find sponsors who will support us as we break the silence. Survivors will want to support those businesses that support them. Sponsors of OUTSPOKEN Magazine provide a vital solution to the problem of abuse among us and their advertising dollars are tax-deductible.
l Work from home
l Generous commission
l Make your own schedule
REQUIRED SKILLS: • A can-do attitude • Previous successful sales experience • Solid understanding of the digital marketplace • BA/BS or equivalent experience • Passion for supporting Our Voices PREFERRED SKILLS: • Previous experience representing nonprofit groups • Ability to tell the difference between raster and vector • Ability to tell the difference between screen resolution and print quality
Please send a cover letter explaining why you are the ideal teammate for our staff and a resume detailing your sales experience to: walexander@outspokenmagazine.org.
TALK OF THE TOWN
OUTSPOKEN
The World RISES for Justice
More than 100 countries signed on
The expanded One Billion Rising website features activist videos, news updates and photos, information on joining the campaign and more. Individuals and organizations can get involved with One Billion Rising online by adding to the thousands already signed up. The “This Is What Justice Looks Like” project is a forum in which activists can share their definitions of justice in the form of text, image, and video. The series debuts with videos from activists in Haiti, the Philippines, South Africa, Syria, and more. Contributors are encouraged to visualize what justice looks like harnessing their power and imagination. “Imagine, one billion women releasing their stories, dancing and speaking out at the places where they need justice, where they need an end to violence against women and girls,” said Monique Wilson, director.
The One Billion Rising for Justice campaign is rapidly building upon the energy and momentum that was created in early 2013 when one billion activists in 207 countries came together to strike, dance, and rise to end violence against women and girls. “In 2013, one billion rose around the world to end violence against women and girls in the biggest mass action in the history of the world,” said V-Day Founder and award-winning playwright Eve Ensler. “This year we are escalating and connecting the dots. We are rising for gender, economic, racial, environmental justice. We are rising and dancing with our bodies, to end the violations towards our bodies and the body of the earth.”
Visit www.onebillionrising.org, a fully featured campaign platform for activists all over the world: ✦✦REGISTER your event on the One Billion Rising For Justice map ✦✦WATCH “This is What Justice Looks Like” Videos ✦✦READ our New Blog Series by Zillah Eisenstein: “Imagine A World With Justice”
✦✦SHARE “What Justice Looks Like” to you via video, words, song, art, or poetry ✦✦MEET New Global Coordinators ✦✦READ The Latest Press Release ✦✦CONNECT With Activists all over the world
Justice begins when we speak, release, and acknowledge the truth in solidarity and community. JOIN US and help create revolutionary justice!
Rise. Release. Dance.
Talk of The Town: Global Current Affairs – Abuse knows no boundaries. It is a worldwide catastrophe that affects all societies on the whole. If not in your own household, someone somewhere in the world is being victimized this second. How does that affect you?
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LISTEN
' It s Never Too Late to Get Help.
National sexual Assault Hotline
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FREE SAFE Confidential 24/7
1.800.656.HOPE www.rainn.org
HEALTH & WELLNESS
OUTSPOKEN
A guide to decoding
Affordable Health Care
How to Navigate Your Benefits as the Federal Law Changes in 2014
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ALAA HAMED
ou’ve probably heard a lot lately about the Affordable Health Care Act. The federal health care law is on a lot of Americans’ minds in recent months because of changes that will take place in the new year. One of those changes is a new way to buy health insurance through the law’s Health Insurance Marketplace. Enrollment in the act’s health insurance plans began Oct. 1 and continues until March 31, 2014. Here are some basic facts to help you understand what this law is all about and how to make sure you receive the rights and protections it creates. ll Americans are required by the law to carry health insurance by the end of March 2014. Anyone who has not enrolled in a plan may be penalized on 2013 federal income taxes. When you enroll, you will be given options of plans from private companies. However, if you are eligible for free or lowcost coverage (such as Medicaid), you will be able to apply for those programs. Understand that the purpose of these changes is to protect the health of Americans. This act requires insurance companies to cover people who have pre-existing conditions, holds insurance companies accountable for rate increases, and makes it illegal for companies to cancel your insurance because you get sick. However, not every person who enrolls will see the same benefits; for example, anyone may qualify for coverage on the federal Web site, but only individuals with certain income levels will qualify for the act’s tax credits on the 2013 federal income tax forms. f your employer offers health insurance coverage that meets certain criteria, you are not eligible for a tax credit through the Health Insurance Marketplace. But you might be eligible for a credit that lowers your monthly premium. If the cost of your employer’s plan is more than 9.5% of your household income for the year, you might gain that tax credit.
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Health & Wellness (Physical, Spiritual, Financial) – For many adult survivors of child abuse, most of the bad things have stopped happening; but they don’t know how to make the good begin to happen. Adults may need as much nurturing as children at times. Since many of us were not taught basic life management skills, we offer training and tips on how to regain control of your life by looking after your body, soul and spirit.
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HOW TO ENROLL Online: HealthCare.gov Phone: 1-800-318-2596 Postal address: Health Insurance Marketplace Dept. of Health and Human Services 465 Industrial Blvd. London, KY 40750-0001 Offices: Check LocalHelp.HealthCare.gov for your location
TO ENROLL ONLINE
1 2
Create an account: Choose a username, password and security questions.
For each person in your household, you will need Social Security numbers, employer and income information, policy numbers of current health insurance plans, and information about plans provided by your employer.
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If you are eligible, choose a plan and enroll. The prices will vary depending on plans, income and subsidies.
PENALTIES
If someone who can afford health insurance doesn’t have coverage in 2014, they may have to pay a fee. They also have to pay for all of their health care. The penalty in 2014 is 1% of your yearly household income or $95 per person for the year. The fee increases every year.
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OUTSPOKEN
Youth FALL 2013
Eating Disorders By Kerry Gallagher
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CALL FOR HELP
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention 1-800-931-2237 Eating Disorders Center 1-888-236-1188 National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Eating Disorders 630-577-1330, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. EST, Monday to Friday FALL 2013
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JONATHAN RUCHTI
ating disorders are serious medical problems. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder are all types of eating disorders. Eating disorders frequently develop during adolescence or early adulthood, but can occur during childhood or later in adulthood. Females are more likely than males to develop an eating disorder. Eating disorders are more than just a problem with food. Food is used to feel in control of other feelings that may seem overwhelming. For example, starving is a way for people with anorexia to feel more in control of their lives and to ease tension, anger, and anxiety. Purging and other behaviors to prevent weight gain are ways for people with bulimia to feel more in control of their lives and to ease stress and anxiety.
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Youth
Obesity
Anorexia nervosa
People with anorexia nervosa have an extreme fear of gaining weight. They often diet and exercise relentlessly, sometimes to the point of starvation. About one-third to one-half of anorexics also binge and purge by vomiting or misusing laxatives. People with anorexia have a distorted body image, thinking they are overweight when in fact they are underweight. They may count calories obsessively and only allow themselves tiny portions of certain specific foods. When confronted, someone with anorexia will often deny that there’s a problem. The signs of anorexia can be subtle at first, because it develops gradually. It may begin as an interest in dieting before an event like a school dance or a beach vacation. But as the disorder takes hold, preoccupation with weight intensifies. It creates a vicious cycle: The more weight the person loses, the more that person worries and obsesses about weight. The following symptoms and behaviors are common in people with anorexia: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■
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Dramatic weight loss Wearing loose, bulky clothes to hide weight loss Preoccupation with food, dieting, counting calories, etc. Refusal to eat certain foods, such as carbs or fats Avoiding mealtimes or eating in front of others Preparing elaborate meals for others but refusing to eat them Exercising excessively Making comments about being “fat” Stopping menstruating Complaining about constipation or stomach pain Denying that extreme thinness is a problem
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Nutrition Planning Sites Truestar.com SparkPeople.com MyFoodDiary.com Livestrong.com Myfitnesspal.com FitClick.com
GORILLA
is generally defined as an excessive amount of body fat in relation to lean body mass. In numeric terms, obesity refers to a body weight that is at least 30 percent over the ideal weight for a specified height. More commonly, obesity refers to any individual with a BMI of more than 30. Doctors agree that there are two primary factors in creating obese children. First, the children and teenagers are not eating the right kinds of foods. Second, America’s children are getting less and less exercise on a daily basis. Weight gain and obesity are caused by consuming more calories than the body needs – most commonly by eating a diet high in fat and calories, living a sedentary lifestyle, or both. The mixture of fast food diets along with sedentary lifestyles is creating a generation of children who are facing very adult health issues like high cholesterol, diabetes and heart disease. Children who are obese also must confront the many psychological issues that being overweight creates. Overweight children often have low self-esteem, which is made worse when they are unable to participate in normal activities such as sports or on the playground. Teen eating disorders like anorexia nervosa and bulimia develop in response to feelings of body inadequacy. Obese children are teased, bullied and made to feel inferior on a number of levels.
DRESS WELL AT ANY SIZE Stores that carry plus-size clothing:
Neiman Marcus JC Penney Macy’s Kohls Target NY & Co Forever 21 H&M Avenue Ashley Stewart Torrid Eliza Parker zulily.com asos.com debshops.com greatglam.com sonsi.com FALL 2013
OUTSPOKEN
Bulimia nervosa
People with bulimia nervosa have episodes of eating large amounts of food (called bingeing) followed by purging (vomiting or using laxatives), fasting, or exercising excessively to compensate for the overeating. Unlike anorexia, people with bulimia are often a normal weight. But they have the same intense fear of gaining weight and distorted body image. They see themselves as “fat” and desperately want to lose weight. Because they often feel ashamed and disgusted with themselves, people with bulimia become very good at hiding the bulimic behaviors.
The following are common signs of bulimia:
■ Evidence of binge eating, including disappearance of large amounts of food in a short time, or finding lots of empty food wrappers or containers ■ Evidence of purging, including trips to the bathroom after meals, sounds or smells of vomiting, or packages of laxatives or diuretics ■ Skipping meals or avoiding eating in front of others, or eating very small portions ■ Exercising excessively ■ Wearing baggy clothes to hide the body ■ Complaining about being “fat” ■ Using gum, mouthwash, or mints excessively ■ Constantly dieting ■ Scarred knuckles from repeatedly inducing vomiting
If left untreated, bulimia can result in long-term health problems such as abnormal heart rhythms, gastro esophageal reflux disease, and kidney problems. However, bulimia can be treated successfully through therapy, antidepressants, or both. It’s important to seek help if you think someone you care about has bulimia.
GORILLA
Binge eating Rather than simply eating too much all the time, people with binge eating disorder have frequent episodes where they binge on large quantities of food. Like people with bulimia, they often feel out of control during these episodes and later feel guilt and shame about it. The behavior becomes a vicious cycle, because the more distressed they feel about bingeing, the more they seem to do it. Because people with binge eating disorder do not purge, fast, or exercise after they binge, they are usually overweight or obese. Unlike other eating disorders, binge eating disorder is almost as common in men as it is in women. According to statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health, the average age at onset for binge eating disorder is 25, and it is more common in people under age 60. Common signs of binge eating disorder include: ■ Evidence of binge eating, including disappearance of large amounts of food in a short time, or finding lots of empty food wrappers or containers ■ Hoarding food, or hiding large quantities of food in strange places ■ Wearing baggy clothes to hide the body ■ Skipping meals or avoiding eating in front of others ■ Constantly dieting, but rarely losing weight
Because binge eating leads to obesity, it can have serious health consequences if left untreated. Behavioral weight reduction programs can be helpful both with weight loss and with controlling the urge to binge eat. Because depression often goes hand in hand with binge eating disorder, antidepressants and therapy may also help. It’s important to seek help if you think someone you care about is suffering from a binge eating disorder. OUTSPOKEN Youth – Preserving the originality of our youth - Let us take the time to train our children to develop good habits and use sound judgement. Let us not neglect the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of our children. Let us reach out to our communities for help with our children before they go to jail, drop out of school, join gangs, develop mental illness, have unwanted children or commit suicide.
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Youth
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30 Best Workout Songs Black Eyed Peas – Rock That Body Madonna – Sorry KT Tunstall – Suddenly I See Gnarls Barkley – Smiley Faces Sean Paul – Temperature Jennifer Lopez – Let’s Get Loud Beyonce – Single Ladies Rihanna – Don’t Stop The Music Outkast – Hey Ya! Missy Elliott – Work It Timbaland with Justin Timberlake – Carry Out Mary J. Blige – Work That Bruno Mars – Treasure Mary Mary – Walking Imagine Dragons – Radioactive David Guetta with Sia – Titanium Drake with Nicki Minaj – Make Me Proud Rihanna – Umbrella Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger Lady Gaga – Applause Lady Gaga – Born This Way LMFAO – Party Rock Anthem LMFAO – Sexy and I Know It Lady Gaga – The Edge of Glory Nicki Minaj – Super Bass David Guetta – Where Them Girls At’ Alexandra Stan – Mr. Saxobeat Flo Rida – Good Feeling Kanye West – Stronger Enrique Iglesias – I Like It
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Youth
He ot ar th a H e r f r o th e t h a t e m re ve e n be s &
ma
text WeCanHelpUs to 30364 or go to reachout.com 24 www.outspokenmagazine.org
e de n it.
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Message and data rates may apply.
UNSPEAKABLE THINGS
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Personal Development MAIRA KOUVARA
Workplace Conflict
OUTSPOKEN
W
ork offers more than a paycheck, it also offers opportunities for us to grow in other ways…for me personally, my current employ is not only about earning good money; there are much deeper, more intricate benefits, which I find humbly gratifying. One of my coworkers dresses really tacky (somebody else’s word) to come to work. She was wearing faded leopard-print tights with an equally faded, ill-fitting waist-length t-shirt the day I intervened. (Get it? Intervention?) To my surprise, she defended her attire as professional, forcing me to spin around in my chair to confront her eye-to-eye to make sure I understood she thought the outfit she was wearing was appropriate for our workplace. Personal belief leads me to practice counseling in a direct manner to ensure the message is not misunderstood or lost in the beating-aroundthe-bush method. My help was not received. Her defiant response was that she knew how to “get it,” despite her dress choice, we should stay out of her business, and she did not need to prove anything to anyone. An earlier attempt to talk to her about her dress was met with, “This is no fashion show.” So here’s the thing: Everyone talks about her behind her back, which makes me uncomfortable, even though I do agree with that they say. But if managers don’t have a problem with her manner of dress for work, why should it concern us? One coworker said she didn’t care enough to say anything to her. This caused me to examine my own motive for confronting her. Did I care enough, or was I just so bothered that I wanted relief for myself? You see, I find myself getting really annoyed when I see her choice of outfit for work sometimes, knowing that she can do much better. I’ve fantasized about burning a particular washed-out red t-shirt she seems to like to wear. There are times she comes in looking really nice, and we all go overboard with compliments to let her know. Is it that I want them to stop talking about her behind her back? Should I not care enough to tell her to her face that we think there is a problem? Since my boldness to this sister and her refusal to receive what I hoped was constructive criticism, I’ve been doing some deep thinking. I’m not one to purposely try to put down or hurt anyone’s feelings, but I’m one called to stand against injustice and to be outspoken for change. I think it is a disservice to the caliber of establishment we work in for my coworker to show up looking like she’s cleaning house to sell nice
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One coworker said she didn’t care enough to say anything. This caused me to examine my own motive. Did I care enough, or was I just so bothered that I wanted relief for myself? furniture, and I think it is wrong for us to talk behind her back and not help her do better. That aside: Were my feelings hurt from her back talk, or am I sad because I lost an opportunity to make a difference in a person’s life because I didn’t handle it right? I also question the manner in which I approached her. This was the second time, and I had been waiting for an opportune moment to do so again. If I had given it enough thought, I should have taken my sister to lunch, announced that I had something sensitive to talk to her about, framed the criticism with concern and desire to help, then offered some tips on helping and apologize for any hurt feelings. Yes, the way I approached her left her very little option but to resist me. I give her that. At this junction though, should I completely drop it? Should I apologize for the way I acted? Or is it my business to care this much? Each of us has some area of our work life where we can use some improvement, and our coworkers or the work environment itself offers many opportunities for self-development. Some of us overcome fear of public speaking and refine our presentation skills. Some of us learn how to be punctual; some develop greater confidence and leadership skills; some of us increase our social calendar; some learn to take more care for personal appearance; some learn the art of small talk; and on and on... . This particular episode has personally taught me to consider a more tactful approach when dealing with sensitive issues involving coworkers. Consider your workplace a great place for learning something new about yourself and making improvements in areas that might need it. Unspeakable Things: Controversial topics – Everyone may think it but few may be brave enough to speak out on it. True to the publisher’s nature, she opens up discussion on matters of personal concern. (This section is not necessarily the view of advertisers, sponsors or contributors.)
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OUTSPOKEN
Tracey Mitchell
‘Downside Up’ Transform Rejection into Your Golden Opportunity
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veryone encounters rejection. The question is not if rejection will happen but how you will respond when it strikes next. Will it develop or destroy your dreams? Will you wilt beneath the fire of hurtful words, or will you use rejection as a springboard of opportunity to create a season of success? In Downside Up, Tracey Mitchell exposes the often overlooked truth – there is an upside to rejection. And it starts with viewing rejection not as loss, but as a golden opportunity to discover your future. You will see rejection as a valuable friend who divulges secrets, alerts you to danger, reveals poor relationship choices, and motivates you to make wise decisions. Mitchell offers a clear plan for embracing rejection, working it to your advantage, extracting your self-worth, and developing meaningful relationships. Each chapter is filled with stories of men and women who conquered the devastating blows of rejection and rediscovered their identity and purpose. If you are tired of colorless dreams, dead-end opportunities, failures, frauds or phonies, let Downside Up show you the positive side of rejection. Excerpt from the cover of Downside Up by Tracey Mitchell.
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Loving
and
Leaving
By Tracey Mitchell
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arried to Zac less than six months, Heather discovered traces of lipstick on his shirt and a woman’s phone number in his wallet. All men cheat; none can be trusted, she reasoned. The truth is all men don’t cheat. Unfortunately, Heather encountered one who did. Stereotyping people based upon a single experience will not improve the bad behavior of others. But living with doubt, suspicion, and cynicism will condemn you to a life of unhappiness. All people are not the same and to stereotype them as such is flat-out unfair. Relationships are not always doomed to end poorly. Many thrive and, yes, there are those who live happily ever after. Continued on Page 30
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CRISTINA CHIRTES
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INGA GALKINAITE
Do not let negative relationships of the past be the downfall of positive future relationships.
Continued from Page 28
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taring at the floor and biting her nails, Samantha timidly confessed, “I am afraid.” “Afraid of what?” I asked. She said, “I am afraid my boyfriend will leave.” “Why do you feel he will leave?” “I don’t know. My daddy left when I was seven and no one explained why. I just feel like my boyfriend will do the same thing.” Seventeen-year-old Samantha remained emotionally paralyzed by her fears as a seven-year-old. Her first romantic relationship was ruined by fear that all men she loved would eventually leave. Can you relate to Samantha’s struggle? Have you been guilty of labeling people based upon a single personal experience? Would you feel comfortable with others treating you the same way? Give friends, colleagues, and potential romantic interests the opportunity to express their love and
gain your trust. Do not let negative relationships of the past be the downfall of positive future relationships. Stop categorizing and start enjoying the benefits of healthy associations.
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enny writes, “I worry about my wife cheating. We are both loving and committed to each other. There is no rational reason for me to feel suspicious or threatened. Our relationship has not changed, and neither of us has close friends of the opposite sex. We attend Bible study once a week, and I should feel totally secure in our relationship. “Why am I worried and how do I quit obsessing about something that isn’t happening?” Perhaps, like Lenny, you realize your fears remain unfounded, yet you struggle to control feelings of fear and anxiety. Afraid to face your fears, you remained trapped, consumed by situations that rob you of peace and joy.
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Keys to Overcoming the Fear of Abandonment
✦ Write down personal strengths that would enable you to thrive if faced with the challenge of living alone. Having a documented list of personal strengths reinforces confidence and self-assurance especially when facing discouragement or disappointment. ✦ Stop dwelling on the past and move forward. Mistakes and wrong decisions are a part of life. Release the pain, move past negative memories, and begin again.
HECTOR LANDAETA
INGA GALKINAITE
✦ Share your fears of abandonment with someone you trust. Voice your fears to a friend then ask that friend for positive yet honest feedback about the validity of these fears.
✦ Spend time with and enjoy those who recognize your worth. Quit obsessing about the one who left and focus on those who have stayed. Stop expending emotional energy in past relationships and begin investing in those who are a part to your future. ✦ Cast worry by the wayside. Worry is like cyanide: tasteless and highly toxic. Create an outlet for anxiety. Discover new interests and explore channels for personal creativity. Learn to paint, join a gym, or better yet, find someone in need and discover ways you can help better his or her life. ✦ Create a list of things you fear. Then beside the list of things you fear create a list of correlating Scripture verses that will help you overcome any negative thoughts that create anxiety or fear. ♦♦♦ The good news is you can overcome your feelings in spite of how out of control they may seem. Fears may not vanish overnight, but with patience and persistence they will lessen over time. Confronting the fear of abandonment is perhaps easier than you have imagined. Above I have listed important keys that will help you overcome your fear. Putting the above keys into practice will safeguard your heart and help you form healthy, satisfying relationships. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you didn’t feel comfortable expressing your feelings or
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ideas, take some time to think about what make you really need and how you want to feel in your ideal relationship. It is important to know what makes you feel safe and secure. Being able to clarify your feeling will help you recognize which relationships are worthy of pursing or preserving. You are worthy of relationships where you feel loved, treasured and appreciated. Tracey Mitchell Ministries, Inc., is a nonprofit organization based in Dallas, Texas. We are financially supported by contributions from friends and partners of the ministry.
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FATHERHOOD MATTERS
The Real Side of Suicide Fatherhood Matters By Martin Henderson
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uicide is an act that unfortunately plagues many families. I, myself, was affected a few years ago when suicide decided to show its ugly face to my family. After that tragedy struck, it caused me to truly evaluate the mind state one could possibly be in before that fateful moment – the moment when one decides their absence from this earth will make things better. According to SPS America and the CDC, nearly 30,000 Americans commit suicide every year. About twothirds of those people who complete suicide are depressed at the time of their deaths. Depression that is untreated, undiagnosed, or ineffectively treated is the No. 1 cause of suicide. OUTSPOKEN Magazine published an article earlier this year about mental health. In that article it was mentioned that a lot of individuals live amongst us who have been diagnosed with some form of mental illness. However, it was discovered that once those same individuals reach adulthood, no longer under parental supervision, they abandoned their treatment plans. When this happens, life can become more overwhelming than usual, leading to detrimental behavior which could end in suicide. We all understand that some mental illnesses are hereditary and must be managed through lifelong treatment. But what about that person who went
People usually attempt suicide to escape what seems to be an unbearable pain in their lives. Suicidal individuals need to know that it is OK to express their feelings, that others care.
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through some kind of traumatic event and has dropped into a deep depression? For that person we need to support. In order for us to be that support, we need to understand suicide. Let us take a look at some of the contributing factors to suicide and how we should deal with individuals who have encountered some of these factors. People usually attempt suicide to escape what seems to be an unbearable pain in their lives, such as loss of a loved one or loss of relationship; mental, physical and sexual abuse are all contributors to suicidal tendencies. There are a host of others; however, these are some of the most common. Suicidal individuals, like all of us, need love; they need positive affirmations uttered to them on a consistent basis. They need people to listen to them and not be judgmental. They need to know that it is OK to express their feelings, that others care. Never ridicule them or scold them for their feelings. People who have thoughts
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FATHERHOOD MATTERS
ELIJANA FORTO
OUTSPOKEN
of suicide feel isolated already; they don’t need our help. Loneliness is not a good feeling. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That is one of the most poignant facts we can point out to an individual who is in distress on the verge of suicide. It is our duty to make known that trouble doesn’t last always. Wounds heal in time. Remind the individual that they are not the only one going through these problems or who have been through them. Hold on. If they are not comfortable talking to you, please do not give up: Find out who they would be willing to speak with. Offer to go with them to counseling. Lend your support in any way you can. Last, but certainly not least for those of you reading this who know a survivor of suicide, please love and embrace them just as you would your own child or that thing you love so deeply.
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Survivors deal with a great deal of shame and embarrassment. Encourage and reassure them whenever you have the opportunity. Always remember that the person who is on the verge could be your loved one if it isn’t. Let us all love one another, encourage each other and help each other when possible. It costs nothing to be kind and offer a few uplifting words. Until we meet again, be safe, and remember NOTHING IS STOPPING YOU! Contributing writer Martin Henderson is the executive director for Fatherhood Matters, Incorporated, and author of the book Fatherhood: A Message to Men. Henderson travels as a motivational speaker educating and inspiring men across the country. For information go to www. fatherhoodmattersinc.com. 1.866.785.8911
FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION CONTACT: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 www.thetrevorproject.org Veterans and their loved ones can call 1-800-2738255 and press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine. net, or send a text message to 838255 to receive free, confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
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Survivors S OUTSPOKEN
TELL YOUR STORY
6 Real Adult
urvivors come from all walks of life and are each at various stages of recovery. Some of us are prospering nicely, some thriving and some yet to begin the journey to healing. Using a reality TV-like concept, we wanted to educate you, our readers, on the ongoing challenges and triumphs of abuse survivors. We will never mislead you into thinking we don’t still have struggles, but we hope to also assure you that you can heal and that you can do so at your own pace. In this groundbreaking REALITY MAGAZINE event, we invite you to learn the realities of the aftermath of child abuse, by following six real adult survivors for a year. Learn what drives us, and how we cope with everyday ups and downs similar to yours. Because we are not trying to be superstars, we can afford to be candid about our weaknesses but we won’t hesitate to sing our own praises either because we want to encourage you to do the same. We want you to learn to celebrate even your smallest accomplishments despite the pain you must endure to survive and prosper. Subscribe to OUTSPOKEN Magazine to keep up with our lives. Tune in every quarter to see what happens next in this real life editorial drama. As you get to know each character, you have a chance to decide who is
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What will you win for voting? Cash? Jewelry? Shoes? A fabulous professional photo shoot? A recliner? A pair of lamps? Vote today and find out next issue! Voting Guidelines: The 10th person to vote for the most popular survivor of the quarter wins a surprise gift. No one is excluded…only one entry per person. Voting deadline ?????. Email your vote to walexander@outspokenmagazine.org. most like you, plus, you get to vote for your favorite survivor and possibly win a special prize. To submit your feedback, questions and comments www.outspokenmagazine.org
about Real Survivors of Child Abuse, contact us at walexander@outspokenmagazine.org. Happy reading and voting and we hope this helps. FALL 2013
OUTSPOKEN
TELL YOUR STORY
Ivy Wilson voted for Treva Hispoet Johnson. MK PURSE PURCHASED AT STEIN MART: WWW.MICHAELKORS.COM / WWW.STEINMART.COM
She WON because she is not ashamed to raise her voice against child abuse Well, the votes are in, and someone got herself a Michael Kors purse. But seriously, it was never about the votes, popularity or gifts. It’s about making it OK for us to dialogue about the lifelong effects of child abuse. It’s about celebrating the courage it takes to survive, live on and prosper despite the trauma of sexual, physical, verbal abuse and neglect in our childhood. The votes support recovery efforts of adult survivors of child abuse and our allies and measure just how far we have come to shatter the silence FALL 2013
and break the cycle. Your vote is your voice, taking a stand against criminal acts against humanity. Your vote says, “Enough!” Let’s put an end to child abuse and let’s help adult survivors reclaim their lives. Let’s lobby for community reclamation services to help prevent further abuse. Your vote says you care and you are not ashamed to show it! Summer issue gift for voting was a MK purse… What will it be for Fall???? Vote and find out. You might just be the next winner.
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TELL YOUR STORY
WInsoMe aLeXanDer Your Talent Can Help Repair Your Life
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here is no surprise at my success at work as a furniture sales/interior designer. I’ve had a long history of success in this area. Indeed, I began as a self-taught drapery, bedding ensemble, interior decorator with my own home-based makeshift factory in Jamaica. My love for textiles, furniture and accessories led me to the New York School of Interior Design and later to Bay Path College, ending with the equivalent of approximately two years of interior design/business credits. I’ve worked in wallpaper, window coverings, accessories, visual merchandising, furnishings fabrics and finishes with special talent for color/ pattern coordination for most of my career. Starting out fresh from Jamaica at New York School of Interior Design, culture shock and semantic barriers to contend with, I was almost discouraged. One instructor basically dismissed my abilities until she had to compliment my innate talent for color mixing. I’d stay up all night on many of my class projects, completed engrossed in the process until I’d look up and it was morning outside my basement apartment window. At Baypath College, I was top of my design class, called on more than once to lend my thoughts or guidance to some of my classmates. One look at a person’s project once revealed why our instructor gave it a low grade while the designer of the imagined masterpiece protested in unbelief. Our instructor asked me to critique the project in front of the class and all I could say was, “I don’ wanna.” It was bad… for real. But design is all relative. I received an A for an orange room with purple sheer curtains, for which, some members of the class called me a freak….LOL…Whatever! I suppose I could be alright in any other field of work but it is clear that my talents the creative pool particularly in interiors and writing. These two always make a way for me and
We have each been given a major gift or two for the purpose of using it to guide our lives and bless others.
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where writing so far doesn’t pay well in dollars, it helps tremendously in my emotional stability. Whatever your talent is, I urge you to incorporate it into your treatment plan or into your life, in general. We have each been given a major gift or two for the purpose of using it to guide our lives and bless others.
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Even if you are not able to make a living from it right now, you should still find a way to use your talent in some area of your life. It could be in volunteering or mentoring or taking a class in the subject. They say your gift will make room for you. Start somewhere and who knows where you could end up?
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OUTSPOKEN
TELL YOUR STORY
rheTT haCKeTT
Your Best Advocate
“As a result of my childhood sexual abuse, I am still very much afraid of people coming up behind me in fear that they are going to hurt me.” “As a result of my childhood sexual abuse, I am still very much afraid of people coming up behind me in fear that they are going to hurt me, but I am getting stronger everyday, and I have overcome many obstacles!” That is still knowing that the trauma is there but empowering yourself to take control of it. It is that which leads me to what I like to call being the best advocate. There is nobody in this world that will be a better advocate for you than you! If you are currently not advocating for yourself, I strongly recom-
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NICK ALBUFAIRAS
I
am often asked what has been the secret to my success in recovering from child sexual abuse. I don’t really know that there is one solid answer that could sum up the key to success. I know that guts and God have certainly been contributing factors along with having really great people and resources in my life. Believe me when I tell you that I recognize all of them and I am grateful beyond measure. I do however have something that I believe has been a major contributing factor and the answer may surprise some people in hearing it: It would be to have the understanding that what happened to me as a child never goes away. It doesn’t just magically disappear. It isn’t something that, if I prayed to God hard enough, it would all just never be there again. (This one I know for sure, because there were many nights I tried.) It is understanding this, though, that allows me to keep what happened to me in perspective and in a better place. I know that successful recovery comes from a lot of work that gets put into it. But let me elaborate on what I mean by what I just said. When you continually live in your story of the trauma that you faced, and that is the story that you tell, then it isn’t really in the past tense because it is still there. When you have the understanding that what has happened to you will always stay with you, the opportunity to put a “BUT” in there is what makes all the difference in the world. For example, take a look at how these two statements are different from one another:
mend that you make this one of your focuses. There is no greater investment that you could make than investing in
your own well-being. I will never forget when I was in the process of looking for an attorney because I wanted to take my abuser to court (before learning about statutes of limitations). I came upon an attorney who, at the end of our conversation, went in a different direction. He asked me what was I doing for myself with relation to taking care of myself. I really didn’t have an answer. What he suggested was getting into physical fitness. It wasn’t something that I jumped right onto, but within 2 years, I will tell you I was very much into working out and physical fitness, and the positive effects that have come from that are fantastic. All of the details from this are for another article, but I can’t think of a better way to take control of your own body than through exercise. Additionally, I have spoken to many survivors who talk about not taking care of themselves from a medical standpoint. Some of it is fear of going to the doctor, and some it is feeling a sense of unworthiness because of what happened to them, and that is something I completely understand. I want to say that we are ALL worthy! That said, YOU need to be your best advocate! Don’t let what happened to you take away anything else because you are WORTHY. When I went public of my abuse, one of the things on my list of improvements was to go to the dentist. I was so afraid of the dentist as a result of my abuse, that the only time I would ever go was if there was a problem. I was given a referral for a new dentist from one of the other guys that appeared on the Oprah show. When I reached out to him, I told him of my childhood past, my fears, and my concerns. It was the best thing I
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could have ever done because going forward, he always made sure that I was comfortable with any procedure. Through this, I had to go see an oral surgeon, and I did the exact same thing, and I had the exact same result. What I know is that in doing so, telling my story, for the purpose of bettering my life and not living in it, made the situation completely better. Once this had happened I was so excited that I told other survivors my story. There was a woman a few weeks later that told me after hearing what I had said about the dentist, she did the same thing with her doctor. She needed to have some sort of a procedure done, had been putting it off because of her trauma, and she decided to take the same approach as I did, and what a relief! The worry by not telling was actually worse then the procedure itself. What I now know is that you don’t even have to go through the details. All you really need to do is just say, “I want to let you know that I suffered trauma in my childhood that I am not comfortable speaking about, but I needed you to know because it has prevented me from coming to see you.” That is what advocating for yourself is all about! What I am certain of is that childhood trauma can have long-term effects on people. (You can read more in what is called the ACE report.) Even before learning about ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences), I knew that I wanted make sure that the life I lived was for me and that I was going to make sure I didn’t lose anything else as a result of someone else. The only person that had the most control over my own life was me, and being healthy was one of those factors. I knew that being the best advocate for myself was going to help me be a better advocate for others. If you need to, if you are reading this and struggling with your sexual abuse, take a moment, and ask, “Who is the best advocate for me?” The answer is YOU!
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TELL YOUR STORY
Treva Johnson
There Is More Than Poetry Within Me
S
he said “Why do you doubt yourself?” I will never forget those words, and I will never forget the way that question made me feel. With all of the blessings and accomplishments that God has given to me, I still doubt the goodness that He has poured upon me. I looked at Mia and said, with tears in my eyes, “You think I doubt myself?” She said “Yesssss, you do,” and I said, “You are right, I do doubt myself, I always have.” That reality was like the hardest slap in the face I ever received. This is where I was in life: a scared little girl in a woman’s body who was afraid to go forward with the good things that God has granted her with. I began to meditate on this part of me in depth and started posting some very personal revelations about myself on Facebook because Facebook is a type of personal therapy for me. I go through things in life and I post what I feel, and I am encouraged when what I post has helped not only me but others who needed to see that at that particular moment... . One post reads: Many who know me know me from my ugly years don’t know I was a grade A thief...I could steal the drawers off Santa Claus and he never would have known...I could have probably stolen the silver from the White House if I had the chance...and I NEVER DOUBTED MYSELF NOT ONCE...I WAS BOLD AND BRAZEN..WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD. NOW THAT PART OF ME IS DEAD, YOU COULD NOT PAY ME TO TAKE CANDY FROM A BABY AND GOD ALMIGHTY HAS GIVEN ME TALENTS OF IMMENSE GREATNESS AND I DOUBT MYSELF SO MUCH WHY?? WELL THATS OVER STARTING NOW...... I truly thank God for today...this is a day of REVELATION
This is when I realized that I had to have as much confidence in myself and what God has given to me. There would be no more doubting myself, no more being afraid to be who God purposed me to be. I had applied this to my life in the process of weight loss, and I had to do it in every other area of my life. And speaking of weight loss, I am proud to report that I am down about 65 lbs and living healthy and loving how this feels. It has been a process, and the only thing that has sustained me all of these months is prayer and trusting
God for what I asked Him to do. I started this battle at a scale tipping 331 lbs in April 2013, and now in October I am now under 270 and
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I am enjoying my new body and steady loss of about 10 lbs a month. My very good friends Angel, Audrey, Coral, and my sister Stephanie have
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OUTSPOKEN
TELL YOUR STORY
There would be no more doubting myself. I had to apply this in every area of my life. been amazing in encouraging me months before I started to get on the ball and get moving. I love these ladies, and I am grateful they are in my life. I never thought I could do this and here I am with the help of God...DOING IT!! There is a scripture that God gave to me shortly after that day, it is in Proverbs, chapter 3, verses 25 & 26: “Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.” When I saw this scripture I knew what I had to do. I knew this is all I needed to get by! I knew that I could take what God has given me and succeed. There is more than poetry within me; God has blessed me with the ability to bake, design websites, and design computer graphics as well. I love the gifts that God has given and I have decided to go forth with them and officially start Hispoet Creations, I have began to market “My Cake Rocks,” websites and graphics. No longer will I allow fear and a lack of confidence to grip me so strongly that it affects my destiny. Now let’s talk bout the love life of Treva Hispoet: Well, I am still single and not seeking, not searching but waiting on the will of God in that area and every area of my life. There is something quite funny about the weight loss and the attention that one receives from certain men. It is quite amazing how many younger guys try to hit on me. Now, I am not talking about 27, 28, or even 29! I wish they were that age, but I am talking about 19-24. HA!! What?! This is hilarious, so needless to say that I have remained single and just enjoying the flattery of a man almost half my age thinking I am very attractive but it begins and ends right there at the compliments. I know that after all I have experienced in relationships if there is any man
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that is mine to marry, he is a very special man with very special vision, seeking a very special wife. So I wait, pray, and remain grateful even for the days when loneliness attacks me like a plague; I will utilize patience and keep trusting God for all I need and desire. So much has happened since we last visited. I have been traveling back and forth to Houston for various poetry events. I did a show in Houston called “The Scarlet Letter,” presented by Jus Poetry, which is a phenomenal spiritual poetry group from Houston, Texas. The show was about sins, and I was able to do the sin addiction. The name of the poem I did was called “Hell of A”; it was a piece about cocaine addiction from the addict’s perspective. The poem was riveting and was able to touch a lot of people because this particular drug has affected many families in the African-American community, and the piece was very real and told of an all too familiar story for many of us. The poem was created years ago, birthed from the a very personal battle of my addiction with cocaine in the powder form and the battle of a very close family member who battled with cocaine in the form of crack. Both of us conquered these addictions by the unbiased grace and mercy given by the Most High, and for that I am forever grateful. It seems like when you decide to live for God, there are many attacks that come your way with the motive to take you out. Well, it is because of the love that God has for me and the love I have for Him why I trust Him completely even through my roughest trial. Something happened to me last week and it rocked the very foundation of my world. What happened was a nightmare come true for me and something I never wanted to feel ever in life.
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I was putting on my bra getting ready to look all cute for an event and I felt about 3 lumps in my right breast. They were so prevalent and noticeable, I immediately got scared and began to cry like a big old baby (I am a cry baby for sure). Breast cancer runs in my family and my mother has had it twice and had to have both breasts removed. My mother’s first cousin, Michelle, also passed away from breast cancer a few years ago. My father’s sister, Aunt Monica, defeated breast cancer and had a mastectomy, and my father’s first cousin, Kim, defeated breast cancer as well. I know God, I trust God, and He knows I love Him dearly; however in the moment I felt those lumps my mind began to travel into a place unfamiliar to me, I was so afraid and ready to give up. I said there was no use in working out, no use in eating right, no use in even trying. I started thinking about my three children Thomas (15), Treasure (14), and Winter (9), and how they just can’t be left without a mother to care for them because I am all they have. I have to be totally transparent and real with you because its the only way I know how to be: People had already put the dirt over my casket in my mind. LOL! I thought after a while I must be going crazy; what on earth am I doing?? I felt all of that until I went to my water aerobics class that day, and it just so happens that there were only three other ladies in a class that usually had more than 15 people in it. I had time to talk to God and clear my mind. I was at the far end of the pool, thinking, working out, thinking, working out, and thinking some more. Well, before I knew it I began sobbing RIGHT THERE IN THE POOL!! I said to myself “I rebuke the spirit of cancer, I REBUKE THE SPIRIT OF CANCER, I REBUKE YOU!!!!!!!” After about 5 minutes of doing this, I collected myself and tried to get my emotions in check, and thought, “Thank God these women are all over 60,” because they were all talking to each other and were not even paying attention to me. I wiped my tears and decided to stand with faith regardless of the outcome of the test. I called the Gift of Life program which is a local program that provides services for women who need screening for breast cancer and men with prostate cancer. The Gift of Life also helps people through the process when the results come back positive. I called them and quickly got the appointment set, so I will go in two weeks and I will definitely let you know the results of my test. Just know that whatever they are, I will do as Proverbs 3:26 states... I will let “the Lord be my confidence and keep my foot from being taken.” So until next time, I ask that you keep praying for me, keep loving each other, and keep reading my story ... there is certainly more to come! I love you ... HisPoet
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TELL YOUR STORY
ronaLD roseBoro
The Best Is Yet to Come
S
o, where do I begin? My lawsuit against the company that I currently work for is gaining momentum. My attorney has added additional facts within the suit concerning racial discrimination along with retaliatory practices which are consistently waged against me. These charges were validated by the EEOC at the close of its investigation. However, the verbal and non-verbal assaults of blatant retaliation continue on a daily basis. It is very difficult to face the ones who have and continue to violate your rights without remorse or concern. Regardless of how strong you may think or believe you are, constant and strategic injustice has a way of disturbing your peace and increasing your chance of harboring bitterness and resentment against the perpetrators. Can I be 100% real and NOT religious for a moment? There are times when I “feel” like punching my offenders out, or cursing them out. There are times that I “feel” like getting wasted on alcohol just to temporarily numb the pain of mistreatment while escaping the daily reality of being violated. But I understand that I can not allow how I legitimately “feel” govern my actions nor dictate my future. So I pray, worship, and continue my counseling sessions with my therapist who has walked with me during my journey to wellness. It’s not easy, but I believe that greatness is not what you accomplish, but rather what you overcome. In the meantime I am purposefully participating in life! I am writing my third book and making plans to release my second book by January 2014. I have been doing some speaking to youth organizations and women’s advocacy groups, and I am invited to be the keynote speaker for the Exodus Foundation. This is a foundation that matches qualified mentors to men and women who were formerly incarcerated. Therefore, I am learning that when I participate in my life’s purpose, I gain the spiritual energy to make it through my wilderness journey and to empower others to do the same. The best is yet to come!
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FALL 2013
OUTSPOKEN
TELL YOUR STORY
sarah BUrLeTon
Things Change
W
hen I sat down to write this article, I assumed I would be writing about my speaking tours and writing about the experiences I have had meeting different types of people from all types of backgrounds. But I feel an obligation to readers to be honest and upfront about what is going on in my life and how my past still affects my present. I can only hope that sharing all parts of my life, good and bad, will help other survivors in the healing process. I met my husband when I was only 17 years old: still a child, freshly moved out from my abusive home, and alone in a new city with no family and no friends. We met through a mutual friend who knew I needed a place to stay, and he was kind enough to offer me the couch in the apartment he lived in until I got on my feet. Fast-forward 17 years later and two children, I guess you could come to the conclusion that I didn’t sleep on the couch for long. I thought I was in love; I had a man eight years older than me, with a great job, who wants to spend time with me, hug me, kiss me, and make me feel beautiful. He had an awesome family who took me right in with open arms, who included me in family dinners and holiday celebrations. I saw what a true mother acted like and found people I could look up to for moral guidance in life. My husband gave me everything I had been wishing for my whole life – a family who accepted me and loved me. I grew up with my husband and his family; I went to college, got my first job, bought my first car and my first house, and voted for the first time. I learned valuable life lessons from my father-in-law and, with his help, got through some very low moments in my life. My husband and I have had two beautiful children together and not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for all of the blessings I have received after such a terrible past. But then I grew up. And my husband doesn’t like it. When I achieved success with my book, Why Me, everyone around me changed, including my husband and his family. Money makes people ugly, money makes people think that they are better than everyone else, and money creates jealousy. I can always remember hearing someone talk about winning the lottery and how their lives fell apart soon after. I would laugh and think, “That would never be me!” Well, it became me. I took a step back from my situation for a moment because it would be hypocritical of me to say that my success didn’t change me, too. But what my success did for me was not material; it
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showed me that I was capable of so much and that I did have a mind of my own and opinions of my own. I realized that I had a mind of my own, I had opinions of my own, and I was capable of doing things without the advice of my husband or his family. I began to disagree with some political opinions that my husband has and, during one memorable argument, was called “worthless” for feeling differently than him. I don’t bring up that argument to shed a bad light on my husband; I bring it up because these phrases started coming out once I began to truly grow up and become something on my own. I am not going to use this essay as a counseling
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session and do a “he said, she said” speech. What I want readers to know is that I am struggling with a difficult decision right now, and hopefully by the time the next issue comes out, I will have a positive resolution. My question to myself is did I marry my husband because I loved him or because of his family and the security they provided? Did I let my abusive past and my longing for acceptance and a family lead me to get married to a man I truly have nothing in common with? I feel selfish, confused, and am going to do my best to make the right decision. I pray for all of you suffering, and I love you all.
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KaTana MaLone A Real Survivor When you look in the mirror, What does your reflection show? The child who suffered greatly? Or the adult survivor you now know? When you look in the mirror, Do the scars show from within? Do you see the old bruises? Or the growth of a new skin? When you look in the mirror, Are you happy with what you see? Are you stuck in the past hurt? Or yearning for a new reality? When you look in the mirror, Do you see the beauty that is YOU? Do you see that the Universe, Has evolved to create something new?
PHOTO: TONY DELERME; MAKE-UP: MARCIA MCKENZIE
When you look in the mirror, Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. When you open them once again, Be sure to realize...
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That you are a reflection of strength... Beauty... Life... Love... Light... And hope! If you don’t see these things, Grab a cloth called Light, Spray on some faith, And wipe until you’re seeing right!!! The reflection of a survivor... is you. Tell Your Story: It is Your Story, Your Truth. You can share what happened to you. Each time you share your story you heal in new places as you empower someone else.
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e
OUTSPOKEN
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
Fowl an’ goat!
This is how Jamaican animals interact with each other ….in true yard spirit (Jamaican spirit).
Welcome Jamaica to
God’s sense of humor Hooker Lips: The World’s Most Kissable Plant
Jamaicans with skill
D
By Spooky/www.odditycentral.com
H
ere’s a dumb question: if (the young) Mick Jagger was a plant, what would he be? Probably Psychotria Elata, commonly known as Hooker Lips or the Hot Lips Plant for the shape of its bright red bracts that resemble two luscious lips. This weird plant might look like the work of a photo editing software, but I can assure you those kissable lips are all natural. Found in the tropical rain forests of Central and South American countries like Colombia, Costa Rica, Panama and Ecuador, the Psychotria Elatra plant has apparently evolved into its current shape to attract pollinators including
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Multitasking on a bicycle
hummingbirds and butterflies. Affectionately known as Hooker Lips, this extraordinary flower has unfortunately become endangered due to uncontrolled deforestation in the above-mentioned countries. So if you’ve ever wanted to plant a kiss on Mother Nature, find yourself a Hot Lips plant and do it while you still can. The bracts are only kissable for a short while before they spread open to reveal the plant’s flowers. On a Lighter Note: Take a break – After the seriousness of this publication…
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on’t be alarmed – this is a Jamaican, relative or neighbor confidently performing his reasonable community service of getting a youth home safely from school. The child will never fall off, being so purposely positioned in a perfectly created nook between the rider’s shoulders and head. Should a sudden threat to security occur, the child’s hands hook unto the neck while the arm supporting the cell phone further secures the child’s leg. In case of emergency, all systems will instinctively be activated and automatic back-up measures will immediately be applied. No worries, man! Happens every day, only in Jamaica.
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RESOURCES
Resources Help Is Available
Adult Survivors of Child Abuse www.ascasupport.org www.naasca.org
Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse www.malesurvivor.org www.1in6.org
Child Abuse www.childabuse.org
Mental Health/Illness www.nami.org www.nmha.org National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800.273.8255 www.thetrevorproject.org VeteransCrisisLine.net; 800.273.8255 and press 1; text to 838255
Eating Disorders www.nationaleatingdisorders.org Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 800.931.2237 Eating Disorders Center: 888.236.1188 National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Eating Disorders: 630.577.1330, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. EST, Monday to Friday Drug Addiction www.treatmentalternatives.com/GetHelp www.drugabuse.gov www.ncadd.org
Pornography Addiction www.pornographyaddiction.com Self Esteem www.self-esteem-experts.com Self Injury www.victimsofcrime.org www.selfinjury.com
Homelessness www.hhs.gov/homeless
Sex Addiction www.saa-recovery.org
Hunger www.wfp.org/hunger
Sexual Assault www.rainn.org
Kleptomania www.healthinmind.com
Stalking www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org
To list your organization, call 713.445.6880 or email walexander@outspokenmagazine.org
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Feeling blue, hopeless, alone?
When it seems like there’s no hope, there is
help.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-8255 (TALK) With help comes hope.
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration www.samhsa.gov
Printed 2006 • Reprinted 2009 • CMHS-SVP06-0163
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