Outwords 215 summer 2015 by Outwords

OUTWORDS QUEER VIEWS, NEWS, ISSUES

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE PROUD TODAY? THE EVOLVING FACE OF MANITOBA’S GLBT* COMMUNITY

WHY WE SHOULDN’T BE AFRAID OF THE CHURCH ANYMORE

HOW TO DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR TO

YOUR WEDDING

FIT & FRIENDLY: LOCAL QUEER ROLLER DERBY

& RUNNING GROUP Summer 2015

Issue 215

SERVING THE GLBT* COMMUNITY SINCE 1994

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OUTWORDS // INDEX

4 7 12 14

OUR PLACE IN A CHANGING COMMUNITY EDITORIAL

EXPRESSING OUR PRIDE TODAY

OUT RUN: FRONTRUNNERS SHOWS PRIDE

MANITOBA’S INCLUSIVE CHURCHES

QUEER ROLLER DERBY

GLBT* BEACH DESTINATIONS

22 24 27

FEATURE

TOP CHEF: TALIA SYRIE ARTIST PROFILE

CROOKED MOUNTAIN CABINS BUSINESS PROFILE

COMING OUT TO YOUR FRIEND BETWEEN THE SHEETS

COVER STORY

CHOOSING YOUR WEDDING ATTIRE FEATURE

AROUND THE WORLD WITH DYLAN BEKKERING AND COLIN ROY AT HOME WITH...

WILL YOU MARRY ME? FEATURE

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 3

OUTWORDS // EDITORIAL

RELIGIOUS

RECONCILIATION How Manitoba’s affirming churches are a sign of much needed-change By Danelle Cloutier

One of my first memories of being in church is zoning out to daydream about girls. I was in Grade 2 and that one hour every Sunday was dedicated to me dreaming up these impossible situations where I would impress the girl I liked.

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OUTWORDS // EDITORIAL

One of the last memories I have of church growing up is not going. Suddenly, after years of mastering my routine of sitting on the couch, crying and begging my parents not to make me go to church or catechism, we stopped. For years I never knew why and didn’t bother to ask. It wasn’t until a few years ago when my mom told me that the reason why we stopped going to our church in St. Vital is because they passed around a petition against same-sex marriage. This was well before I was out—a testament to the fact that not everyone who’s faithful is homophobic. In February, my girlfriend and I were in St. Paul, MN walking by a bar when we heard this amazing band. We stopped, listened and had to go inside. We sat down and a guy named Mark came up to us to make casual conversation. We asked him the name of the band and he said they were a church group that practised at the bar every Sunday and later played at the church service, which would also be at the bar. Curious to see what a church service in a bar with a great band would be like, we stayed. It turned out that Mark was the minister. When the service began, he stood at a podium and told us a story. A recent father, he talked about what it would be like to have unrealistic expectations of his newborn daughter. For example, he said, it would be unrealistic for him to expect his daughter to do his taxes, make him food and clean up. Same goes for the Bible. He said that it’s unrealistic for people to read the ancient text and expect it to mean the same thing today that it did decades ago. In that moment, for the first time, I felt like the church wasn’t against me—a sentiment that has stuck with me since. From protests at funerals to conversion therapy, the church has been a nightmare for GLBT* people. It’s no wonder that religious and queer

communities are divided. But are they still? And should they still be? As local freelance writer Alana Trachenko shows you later in this issue, the two communities that have historically been at war with each other are starting to reconcile. Some local church leaders, such as Pat Stewart from St. Matthew’s Anglican Church, are even leading important GLBT* resources in our province. The rise of affirmative churches is a good sign—it means that more and more, GLBT* people can be themselves in a welcoming space that provides tons of benefits, including face-to-face contact, hope and in the case of St. Matthew’s Anglican Church, housing. When we consider how many GLBT* people face loneliness, mental illnesses and homelessness, a welcoming faithful community might actually do them some good. Being out at church is just one way our community has evolved. Elsewhere in this issue, OutWords catches up with several people to get a pulse of what it means to Manitoba’s GLBT* people to be proud today. Along with our community, OutWords is also evolving. We’ve been asking our readers for feedback and found out that although we have roots as a loud, proud and political publication, that’s not necessarily what our readers want today. After much thought, we’ve decided to make OutWords a quarterly magazine focusing on Manitoba’s GLBT* lifestyle and entertainment. We’re always interested in your feedback. If you have comments on the magazine, email them to editor@ outwords.ca. We’re also always looking for new interview subjects and writers. Stay proud, Manitoba.

PUBLISHED BY THE OUTWORDS VOLUNTEER STAFF: SENIOR PRINT EDITOR : Danelle Cloutier SENIOR ONLINE EDITOR : Meg Crane PHOTO EDITOR: Elizabeth D'Alessio ART DIRECTOR & LAYOUT: Dylan Bekkering ASSISTANT LAYOUT: Michele Buchanan BOOK KEEPER: Christy Elias DISTRIBUTION: Nancy Renwick & Terry Wiebe WEB MANAGER: Vic Hooper SALES MANAGER: Meg Crane COVER ART: Victoria Anne Photography CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE: Micaela McGonigal, Alana Trachenko, Danelle Granger, Kaj Hasselriis, Alex Krosney, Bryen Dunn, Eric Plamondon, Zanna Joyce, Emily Wilcox, Katy MacKinnon BOARD OF DIRECTORS: Rachel Morgan, Darrel Nadeau, Caedmon Malowany, Debbie Scarborough, Rachel Wood, Armando Perla, Nancy Renwick OutWords 170 Scott St. Winnipeg, MB R3L OL3 Phone: (204) 942-4599 For office hours, please call. General Inquiries: info@outwords.ca Editor: editor@outwords.ca Creative: creative@outwords.ca Advertising: sales@outwords.ca Distribution: distribution@outwords.ca Accounts: billing@outwords.ca Event Submissions: calendar@outwords.ca Letters Submissions: letters@outwords.ca Website: www.outwords.ca OutWords provides news, analysis and entertainment for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit and queer community and its allies.GST 89671 7618RT, ISSN 1715-5606 (print) ISSN 17155614 (online) Canada Post Publication Licence 416 99032, Contents copyright © 2015 OutWords Alll rights reserved. OutWords is a member of the Manitoba Magazine Publishers’ Association. Articles are not necessarily the views of the staff, management, or board. We accept no liability for our advertisers’ claims.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 5

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OUTWORDS // FEATURE

what it means to be

PROUD

No one rainbow brush can paint Manitobaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s GLBT* community. From a Two-Spirited person from northern Manitoba to a 23-year-old drag queen, we all add a different colour to the rainbow. It takes strength, courage and confidence to be who you really are and we all express ourselves differently. OutWords caught up with some community members to find out their experiences on coming and being out, societal norms and how they express their pride.

today Compiled by Micaela McGonigal

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 7

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

Q. Do you feel comfortable being out? Maybele: Mostly I feel better being honest to me about myself. Is it easy? No. But I’m being honest with myself and that’s all that matters. Joshua B.: In general, yes. I’m very happy that I came out because it’s much more comfortable than staying in the closet. Are there times that it’s scary? If I’m in the wrong part of town, absolutely—but I’d rather be comfortable with who I am and have to face that fear than the alternative. Danelle: I feel comfortable being out in some situations or with people that know I’m out. Sometimes, for example, at family dinners, some know I’m out and that I have a partner but it isn’t something that’s ever been discussed and they’ve never met my partner. In that context I don’t even feel like I’m out because a huge part of my life and me is still not spoken about. There’s also been times when in public places, it’s very uncomfortable to appear queer or be with my partner. For me personally, it feels

great to be open about who I am but in a lot of situations I have to hide the queer part of me so I’m both comfortable and uncomfortable with being out. Q. Are you openly GLBT*, in some visual way GLBT* or quietly GLBT*? Joshua S.: I am openly gay, although I wouldn’t define it as a visible characteristic. I don’t think it’s the first thing that people notice about me, and it certainly isn’t the only trait that defines me. Siobhan: I am most definitely out. Satina: I am loudly open! I’m a drag queen; there’s nothing quiet about it! Maybele: I’m transgender and it’s very obvious. Robin: I have been open as a gay man at work since my first job in 1987. I marched in the first Pride in Winnipeg and have always been somewhat “militant.” Chantel: I am 31 years old, and openly gay. I came out as a lesbian at the age of 19.

Connie: I am Two-Spirited, a.k.a. First Nations gay and Swampy Cree from northern Manitoba. I am openly gay. Court: I would consider myself an open and visual queer person of the community. Open in the sense that I am no longer afraid to deny my sexuality, partner or identity with those around me. I identify visually in the GLBT* community by the way that I dress, androgynously, and without hesitating to display public affection towards my partner. Danelle: In my personal life, my friends and close family know that I am openly queer but some of my family members don’t know. In a visual way, I think that in certain situations I appear more GLBT* than others. For example, when I hold my partners hand or show public affection to them, it’s clear that I’m queer. But my overall appearance and how I am perceived seems to not be in a GLBT* way. I definitely feel like I touch on being openly, quietly and visually queer.

THE PANELISTS

The superstar fairy tale drag queen Satina Loren was born from the creative mind of Kerry BertoncelloDale and has been captivating audiences for the last five years.

Robin Day is the academic dean at Herzing College.

8 // www.outwords.ca // Summer 2015

Joshua Bouchard is a Winnipeg-born actor/ yogi/writer living in the United Kingdom. He likes Better Midler, cats and Swedish Berries. @leclairjoshua

Connie Merasty is a 47-year-old TwoSpirited person from northern Manitoba.

Joshua Sapoznick is an outgoing student attending the University of Manitoba. He has many passions including music, science and human rights.

Chantel Marostica is a queer comic who regularly performs in Winnipeg.

OutWords // //FEATURE Features OUTWORDS

Q. How do you express your pride in your everyday life? Robin: Simply by being who I am. In casual conversation, I will refer to my husband of 25 years and talk openly about our relationship. Chantel: I wear my pride on my sleeve as an out Canadian comic. Writing about my experiences and making them relatable to a larger audience is one way I show pride, but being proud of who I am isn’t just about myself, my sexuality or my community, it’s an all-encompassing thing to be proud today. Keeping up to date with issues regarding the GLBT*

“

learning and growing to do. Being a voice for my community on some small scale wouldn’t be worth anything if I didn’t open myself to the experiences and hardships of others. To better understand and communicate what I’ve learned in a positive supportive way is what makes me proud.

for me is the loneliness. I miss my friends calling me to invite me over. I miss people being around.

Q. Can you talk about your partners and other gay activities in public?

Robin: Yes. Being older, I have to confess that there is always the small voice questioning if being open is safe but it is much quieter now.

Siobhan: I do talk about my partner publicly because my partner is my partner. She is easily the best thing that ever happened to me and I want my relationship

Being gay doesn’t make me an ally, being aware and educated does.

community as a whole, and learning to be a better ally is what pride is about for me. Acceptance is about understanding. Being gay doesn’t make me an ally, being aware and educated does. I’ve learnt so much over the past few years that’s made me a better friend, partner and ally, and I still have so much more

to be viewed as a normal relationship because that is exactly what it is. Maybele: I am always open to talking about myself, my transition and anything anyone wants to know about my situation. Some people ask me why I talk about my past, when I wasn’t Maybele. I tell them every time that I am proud of my past and I am proud of where I am going in my life. The hardest part about being transgender

Satina: I don’t at all mind mentioning it. I think it’s best to talk about these things so they become normalized. It’s 2015—same-sex couples and gay people shouldn’t be taboo.

Connie: I do speak about my life in public and with my family. Danelle: I love more than anything to talk about my amazing partner but in some public situations I feel like I can’t. My job includes caring for the elderly and I have formed great relationships with them but I have not been open about my partner or my queerness at all. Because it’s my job, I like to have my guard up just in case it makes someone uncomfortable or puts my job a risk. However, with my friends I am probably overly open with everything that is gay in my life. I’m very fortunate to be surrounded by such supportive friends that it evens out having to be guarded in other situations. Q. Do older queers feel free to express themselves? Robin: I do and I would think that others feel the same but I would hesitate to speak for them. Connie: I think older gay people feel freedom to express themselves.

Siobhan Bennett is a 20-year-old science student at the University of Winnipeg. She’s a dancer and a tap teacher.

Danelle is a Winnipegbased blogger for OutWords and Court is a student studying animal health technology. They’ve known and been with each other for three years. Queer issues, feminist issues and animal rights are very important to them.

Maybele Darling transitioned from male to female in January 2014. She’s super happy that she did. She’s currently working at 24-7 Intouch as an agent and looking for better paying employment.

Danelle: My uncle was one of the first gay people to participate in the Pride Parade openly and unashamed. He’s really the only older queer that I know so I can’t say too much on the topic. But in regards to my uncle, as long as I’ve known him, he’s never been ashamed to freely express himself as a gay man but I would assume that it’s different for every older queer.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 9

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

Q. Are younger queers less selfconscious about being queer than older queers? Joshua B.: From a very young age now, kids are exposed to what being gay means. I had a little cry in a bookstore the other day because I found a book for young children called Daddy, Papa, and Me sitting between Love You Forever and Robert Munsch. These kids are growing up learning about different kinds of love in a way that I couldn’t 20 years ago.

“

of homosexuality and gender identity at the age of eight years old. Conservative MP Monte McNaughton is reported to have reacted with homophobic comments. She replied: “What is it that especially disqualifies me for the job that I’m doing? Is it that I’m a woman? Is it that I’m a mother? Is it that I have a master’s of education?” Satina: In a way yes. Being gay and out in itself can be seen as a political statement. Drag, defying gender stereotypes, can also be seen as

…we need to have hope that one day, being GLBT* will be no more remarkable than being left handed or having red hair.”

Joshua S.: Yes, but this is a double-edged sword. While the younger generation is more secure with their sexuality and comfortable expressing themselves, they are also more apathetic and less understanding of the insecurities that exist within the older generation. The older generation grew up in a time filled with stigma, discrimination and abuse towards the GLBT* community, so my generation needs to be more considerate of that. Court: Younger queers are what make up the majority of the visual queer community and therefore would see fewer reasons to feel self-conscious as opposed to older queers who may not see themselves as openly in the GLBT* community. Q. Is being out still political? Joshua B: I think openly gay Ontario premier Kathleen Wynne is a brilliant demonstration of how it shouldn’t have to be. Earlier this year, she unveiled a revolutionary new sex education program that introduces Ontario kids to the idea

10 // www.outwords.ca // Summer 2015

politically charged. It all depends on point of view. Robin: As long as our right to exist is questioned, being out will be political. Q. What has changed in the past 20 years? Maybele: Well I’ll tell you that I used to wear a lot more make-up to cover up a lot more of my face. I didn’t want anyone to recognize me back then but now I am comfortable and allowed to be myself. It has become easier, freer to be transgender for most of us, but some transgender folks still live in a “20 years ago” mindset. Some of them stay hidden their whole lives. Many of the older generation transgenders have lost their families, their friends and have basically had to start all over. Now, though, it is easier for young transgenders to come out and families and friends are more willing to listen. Joshua S.: Lots of progress has been made in the last 20 years. There has been a drastic increase in overall

acceptance, advocacy for equal rights and measures to protect vulnerable people from discrimination. That being said, the battle is not over. There is still stigma associated with HIV, and although significant progress has been made for white cis gay males, other community members are still ostracized and ridiculed. GLBT* people of colour and trans individuals are still not adequately represented and are severely bullied. The alarming number of suicides among trans teens this year shows that work still needs to be done. Robin: It is easier to be out and open. There is still the stigma and people still struggle against prejudice, but it is getting better. It’s hard to be optimistic when we have lost so many but we need to have hope that one day, being GLBT* will be no more remarkable than being left handed or having red hair. Connie: I think it’s becoming less dangerous to be openly gay as the public gains a better understanding of the GLBT* community. We are not going anywhere and we are here to stay. Court: In the past 20 years I believe that the GLBT* community has grown significantly! I especially enjoy the diversity among the community that allows us to not only express our sexual orientations but our gender (or nonbinary) identities. Growing up as a self-identified gay woman to being in my mid-20s and now having the knowledge that there are more options to fit my identity agenda is both liberating and exhilarating! I no longer feel confined by the GLB or T but rather more accepted as what lies between the lines. Visit outwords.ca to see the full interview. Micaela McGonigal is a freelance writer from Winnipeg.

Happy Pride!

We Are Proud to Stand Up for All Manitobans

Greg Selinger

Jim Rondeau

Jennifer Howard

Erna Braun

Nancy Allan

Ron Lemieux

Kevin Chief

Andrew Swan

MLA for St. Boniface Premier of Manitoba 204-237-9247 GregSelinger.ca

MLA for St. Vital 204-237-8771 NancyAllan.ca

MLA for Assiniboia 204-888-7722 JimRondeau.mb.ca

MLA for Dawson Trail 204-878-4644 Ron-Lemieux.ca

Deanne Crothers

MLA for St. James 204-415-0883 DeanneCrothers.ca

MLA for Fort Rouge 204-946-0272 JenniferHoward.ca

MLA for Point Douglas 204-421-9126 KevinChief.ca

Sharon Blady

MLA for Kirkfield Park 204-832-2318 SharonBlady.ca

MLA for Rossmere 204-667-7244 ErnaBraun.ca

MLA for Minto 204-783-9860 AndrewSwan.ca

Rob Altemeyer MLA for Wolseley 204-775-8575 RobAltemeyer.ca

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

SuitingUp

for your

Big Day By Danelle Cloutier

Photos by Shandi Strong. Visit www.shandistrong.ca.

George & Kevin Baars-Wilhelm Q. How did you choose what to wear? Our wedding theme was a combination Charlie and the Chocolate factory and Alice in Wonderland. As such, we wanted our outfits to fit the theme. We found fabric locally that we liked (Victorian, almost tapestry fabric), but to have custom jackets made was more than we wanted to spend. I searched online and found Shrine Clothing. Luckily we found jackets that were an almost exact match to the fabric we liked. Our rings were custom designed for us from Bijou. Kevin inherited his grandmother’s wedding rings and we

incorporated some of the gold and diamonds into our wedding bands. Very sentimental and it meant a great deal to us. Q. Any tips for people trying to decide what to wear? I think choosing your outfit is determined by the couple’s personality and the type of wedding they are having. We wanted ours to be more whimsical so we chose our clothing accordingly. I would suggest couples find pictures in magazines or online and cut them out or print copies off and create a “wedding likes” file. Find themes of cakes, décor, rings, outfits, flowers, etc. Then go through and choose your favourites and go from there.

We did our own centrepieces on the tables—we had tall vases with lit up water beads in a teal blue colour. Out of those we had flowers about five feet tall with peacock feathers surround them and other themed items. We hunted for the best deals over a year. Q. Where did you get married? We were married at the Radisson Hotel in Winnipeg. The linens and fabric were supplied by Chair-ish Your Moments. The flowers were provided by Market Flowers. The music and light show were by Linear Sound Machine Ltd., photography was by Shandi Strong. We had a hard time figuring out cake ideas, then we were at a family dinner and Kevin’s dad suggested Jeanne’s Bakery. We decided to do one cake for each table. For a main cake we got a custom gluten-free cake from Sweet Addictions Bakery because we had a few guests who were gluten intolerant. So in the end we had 16 cakes and it was still more inexpensive than one custom cake. Shirts / Hudson’s Bay / $45 each Jackets / Shrine Clothing / $750 for both Belts / The Bay / $65 for both Eyewear / Clearly Contacts Rings / Bijou Tie & bowtie / eBay / $40 for both

GLBT* WEDDING PLANNING TIPS Planning your wedding should be fun and stressfree. But when it comes to GLBT* weddings, there’s lots to think about. Here are some solutions to common snags in queer weddings.

Wedding toppers Weddingstar.com and Weddingcollectibles.com are great places to find same-sex wedding toppers, including toppers of a bride in a suit. GayWeddings. com is also good because you can personalize the

12 // www.outwords.ca // Summer 2015

topper, including skin colour, attire and hair colour. Dealing with homophobic family members It can be really awkward and uncomfortable if someone at your wedding

doesn’t agree with GLBT* marriages. First, consider not inviting them. Be warned though—that might send the message that you’re not interested in having a relationship with them. If you want to invite

them, talk to them and say you love your partner, you’re happy and you understand if they’re not comfortable coming to the wedding but your door is always open. If they do show up, you might be surprised at

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

Dress - Natalie / David’s Bridal / brand: Galina with big alterations / $800 + $400 of alterations / special features: Pockets and made of cotton Dress - Cassandra / Chantal’s Bridal & Formal / brand: Sophia Tolli / $1600 including alterations / special features: Originally strapless. “I wanted to have a very low, open back, so we basically took out the entire back and put in very thin straps.” Floral headpiece - Natalie / Fache Floral Designs / $80 Opal necklace - Natalie / from Natalie’s mom Pearl earrings - Cassandra / from Natalie’s family

Photos by Victoria Anne Photography. Visit www.victoriaannephotography.ca.

Natalie & Cassandra Q. How did you choose what to wear? Natalie - I knew I wanted to wear a dress and I had a general idea of what I wanted my dress to look like. I also had a pretty

long list of things I didn’t want on my dress, e.g. no sparkles, no jewels, not huge and puffy. Cassandra - I knew that I was going to wear a dress, so I started by looking through a lot of magazines and at dresses online to get

Tuxedos / Moores the Suit People / rental (see prices on the Moores website)

Photos by Shandi Strong. Visit www.shandistrong.ca.

how your wedding affects them. You and your partner will be surrounded by people who love you and support your relationship, which may show them that your relationship is just as legitimate as anyone else’s. If you are non-

confrontational but want to take action, you might want to consider starting a wedsite (wedding website) where you can include stories and updates on your big day. A wedsite might be a good way to post short articles that discuss, for example, why

John & Richard Kletke Q. How did you choose what to wear? We wanted to have a simple ceremony and to that end, traditional black tuxedos were the perfect choice for us. We chose tuxedos that were square cut and tapered. Q. Any tips for people trying to decide what to wear? We found it helpful to choose what we wore based on the theme or type of ceremony we were having. Since we were having a relatively simple outdoors ceremony, we felt matching black tuxedos complemented the day quite well. Q. Where did you get married? We held our wedding outdoors in Birds Hill Provincial Park, just outside of Winnipeg.

you feel that your marriage is still in line with your faith or why you don’t want kids at your wedding. Choosing ceremony passages Some common readings for Christian gay couples are 1 Samuel 18:1-5 and

an idea of what I liked. After trying on different styles and working with the bridal consultant, I was able to turn a dress I liked into the dress I loved. Q. Any tips for people trying to decide what to wear? Natalie - Try on many different styles and go outside your comfort zone, you might be surprised at what looks good. Cassandra – Don’t be afraid to try something different. Don’t worry about what other people think you should wear. Wear what makes you feel beautiful and confident. Q. Where did you get married? We had an outdoor wedding. Both our ceremony and reception were in Natalie’s parents’ country yard.

20:16-17. Christian lesbian couples commonly read Ruth 1:16-17. Other ideas for passages include poetry, classic literature, love letters, song lyrics or stories from each partner or your family.

Let us know what you wore to your wedding and how you decided on what to wear. Contact us through Facebook or Twitter, or email us at editor@outwords.ca.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 13

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

WILL YOU MARRY ME? By Danelle Granger

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ately I’ve been going over in my head what marriage means to me. With so many people getting married younger these days, I’ve found myself at 23 questioning why I’m not part of that group. So with a lot of thought, I want to share how as queer person I feel about marriage. The fact that gay marriage is legal in Canada is such an awesome step for GLBT* rights. I feel like it’s my duty to be legally married because gay people have fought so hard for it. But since it’s only a legal matter, what’s the difference between doing it in a church and heading down to city hall to sign some papers? One thing I know for sure is that I’ve always wanted to get married. But over the years, I’ve found that a religious definition of marriage doesn’t add up to what I think about it and I don’t feel like I need to express my love to God for it to be real or official. My definition of marriage is quite simple—it’s a commitment you make to the person you know that you will spend the rest of your life with. I’m committed to my partner of almost three years and I love them to death and can picture my life with them. But to me, there’s a difference between our commitment now and a commitment we

would take with each other for the rest of our lives. We are both still young and figuring out what we want individually and what if there’s a possibility that we go in separate directions? What if we both get opportunities at opposite ends of the world? When I picture myself getting married, I picture myself knowing for sure that we have been through thick and thin together and will continue to do that until we are old and wrinkly with 50 cats. The thought of making that big commitment at this age honestly scares me but I’m not saying that getting married young is bad or wrong. I hope that in five or 10 years, I can stand facing my current partner and say, “We’ve been through so much together, both amazing times and tough times that have made us stronger and have brought us closer together. We’ve made a home for each other, in each other and no matter where life takes us I want you by my side, forever.” That, to me, is what marriage really means.

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

Out Front

Winnipeg’s gay runners hit their stride

By Kaj Hasselriis

hen 27-year-old Charlie Ulloa decided it was time to make some gay friends in Winnipeg, he didn’t go to the bathhouse, or the bar or the Rainbow Resource Centre. He went to an ice cream stand at The Forks. Every Saturday morning at 9, the Neon Cone is the place to be if you’re a queer runner. That’s where Ulloa meets up with the Winnipeg Frontrunners, a group of GLBT* folks who gather each week to jog together. Depending on who shows up, the pace is always different— sometimes the group runs 10 kilometres and sometimes they only run five—but going

fast isn’t the point. For Ulloa and the others, it’s companionship. “We encourage each other and develop kinship,” says Ulloa. “It’s meaningful.” Each week, the runners head in a different direction, towards Assiniboine Park, over the Provencher Bridge or through downtown. But no matter where they go, the feeling Ulloa gets is always the same. “At the end of the run,” he says, “it’s hard to feel stressed about anything.” When the Frontrunners return to The Forks at 10, it’s time for coffee and gossip. “It’s always an open discussion,” says Ulloa. He

“Frontrunners helped introduce me to the gay community here.”

says the group covers a wide range of issues from GLBT* politics to “cheesy, gimmicky stuff.” In fact, the coffee part of the morning is so popular that some folks skip the run and just go for that. One of the neat things about the Frontrunners is that it’s an international initiative. Queers of all genders run together on Saturday mornings, all over the world. Anyone from the GLBT* community is welcome to join. It’s been a year since Ulloa first went to the Neon Cone and he’s thankful he did. He now counts all the local Frontrunners as his friends and hangs out with them at other times, too. “I wouldn’t say I was a neophyte to gay culture,” he says, “but the Frontrunners helped introduce me to the gay community

here.” If you’re interested in jogging with the Winnipeg Frontrunners, you can ask to join the club’s Facebook group, email leader Wally Mah at outthererun@ yahoo.ca or just show up any Saturday morning at 9 (except in winter) at the Neon Cone inside the Forks Market. This year, the Winnipeg Frontrunners are organizing their first Winnipeg Pride Run. It’s a five-kilometre fun run that starts in Stephen Juba Park on Saturday, June 13 at 9 a.m. The theme is “Get Your Colour On!” For more information, visit www. winnipegfrontrunners.ca. Kaj Hasselriis is an aspiring Winnipeg Frontrunner. For now, he just joins the group for coffee. Baby steps! :)

Winnipeg Frontrunners. Photo by Kaj Hasselriis.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 15

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid of Church by Alana Trachenko

In today’s world, church doesn’t seem to fit in. Instead of religion, Sunday mornings are filled with yoga classes, brunches with family and friends, or nursing hangovers from the night before. “It feels a little bit old fashioned,” says Tara McCallum, chair for the Board of Christian Education at St. Andrew's River Heights United Church. But it may be time to rethink what church means, particularly to the GLBT* community. There are many examples of religious groups challenging GLBT* rights, using texts such as the Bible to support arguments against their marriages and freedom of expression. However, many churches in Winnipeg don’t subscribe to these outdated arguments and are making efforts to welcome GLBT* people. “As of Feb. 22, 2015, we are officially an affirming church,” McCallum says. The term "affirming" applies to churches that have decided as a congregation that they are accepting of GLBT* people and perform marriage ceremonies for them. “It was a 100 per cent yes vote.” St. Matthew's Anglican Church is in the process of a similar decision. While not using the term "affirming," they are currently deciding on whether the church will be performing marriage blessings for same-sex couples. Pat Stewart believes that with the open attitudes of the congregation, they will decide in favour of performing the ceremonies. “Anglican churches are different, one to the next,” says Pat’s husband, Fletcher Stewart. This means that St. Matthew's doesn’t have to consult other Anglican churches to go ahead with their decision. For St. Matthew's, it’s about being inclusive to the entire community. Both Fletcher and Pat are long-time members

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OUTWORDS // FEATURE

of the downtown church and other local projects, including Sunshine House. For Pat, working at the Sunshine House is a natural extension of her involvement at St. Matthew's, which acts as a community centre and lowincome housing when it isn’t being used for church services. Similarly focused, Sunshine House offers resources to downtown residents, such as a foot clinic and information about safe sex practices. They also host Like That, a program geared towards transgender people. St. Matthew's, located in the heart of downtown, is hoping that accepting GLBT* people will help them better meet

“

St. Matthew's Anglican Church. Photos by Alana Trachenko.

begins to navigate what acceptance looks like to them. It’s important for churches to make these changes because it allows GLBT* who practise religion a safe place to worship, but it goes beyond that as well.

It’s become one of the only places to unplug from a world of constant updates and impersonal communication.”

the needs of the community. According to McCallum, the decision to make St. Andrew's an affirming church simply makes the congregation's acceptance official, in a way that the public will easily recognize. “Many people said, why are you spending your time doing this? We already are accepting,” McCallum says. “We replied that, if you’re not official, and you don’t have the stamp of approval by Affirm United, then people who are GLBT* may not feel accepted.” Churches can be places of very polarized attitudes, and not knowing what a group’s opinion is can be enough of a reason to avoid them altogether. “I am a white, middle-aged mom who feels totally happy to have GLBT* people at my church, but they have no way of knowing that’s the case,” McCallum says. She says that the process of becoming affirming took close to three years—and now the real journey starts, as the church

Church represents a place of support in a way that may be separate from religion. Justin Danyluk has been attending Temple Shalom for five years, and says that while being out has made him feel unwelcome in some temples, Temple Shalom has been the opposite. Danyluk recently took a trip to Israel with a group of friends from the synagogue. “There’s people there to ask you how your week was and how your family is doing,” Danyluk says. “It’s just a really nice community.” Community seems to be as important, if not more, than the worship aspect, and it makes sense. It’s become one of the only places to unplug from a world of constant updates and impersonal communication. Our days are lacking the kind of interactions that make us feel truly connected, like the couple of minutes that St. Matthew's congregation takes to stand up and shake their neighbours’ hands. The

energy feels almost electric in the minutes that follow, and there is the sense of being truly present. McCallum says that the sense of connectivity extends beyond Sunday morning to the volunteer groups within in the church, such as Meals on Wheels. “When you come in the door, you never know what expect,” McCallum says. “But then you hear announcements that this week we need help, and it feels safe to say, ‘I could help with that because I have Thursday nights free.’” She says that people who are coming to church are looking for something else in their lives, and that may be religion, but not necessarily. Church offers the opportunity to be part of something bigger than yourself. These churches are not the exception; in fact, the number of accepting churches in Winnipeg is only growing. Many religious denominations are pushing back against negative stereotypes that religion and GLBT* interests are opposed, and some, like St. Andrew's, have become uncontested allies. The change is a good one for churches who are looking to expand their membership, but more so for GLBT* people who no longer have to choose between the freedom to worship, and expression of self. Alana Trachenko is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer who likes red wine, foliage and girls with nice butts.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 17

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

The WRDL at Pride 2013. Photo by Darcy Finley.

JUST I KIDDING, BUT IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE IT WAS OK By Alex Krosney

Moustache Riders vs. Pussy Riot at the 2014 WRDL Pride event. Photo by Matt Duboff.

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joined the Winnipeg Roller Derby League (WRDL) in 2011 for three reasons: one, I fell in love with the sport and the skaters at first sight; two, everyone said I couldn’t do it (so obviously I was going to); and three, it seemed like the right thing to do as a maybe-kindaquestioning-not-yet-out queer person looking for some way to be gay in our city. There’s nothing about roller derby itself that’s inherently queer. Eight blockers (five from each team) and two jammers (one from each team) skate in a series of short periods called “jams.” Points are scored when a jammer passes blockers from the other team. The team with the most

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

looking forward to participating in Winnipeg’s Pride parade for our sixth year in a row this summer. Watch for us there— we’re hoping to top last year’s record of 41 participants in our human rainbow! We are also proud to host our third annual Pride bout this year on May 29. It’s a favourite event for both our fans and our skaters! With teams like Pussy Riot and Moustache Riders facing off while burlesque dancers and drag queens perform between halves, it’s the most fun you’ll have before Pride week and it’s a way for us to support the community by donating our proceeds to local queer charities. I want to be clear: we’re not all lesbians. Far from it! But it’s nice to feel like there’s a sport where I belong because I’m queer, not in spite of it. So while roller derby didn’t actually make me gay (obviously) it did make me feel for the first time like that part of me was really OK. And that’s something to fall in love with. To learn more about the WRDL, find us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter or Instagram at @WpgRollerDerby. You can also find the Vagine Regime online at www. facebook.com/Vagtastic. Visit our website at www. winnipegrollerderby.ca for bout dates and ticket information. Tickets to our Pride Bout are on sale now so make sure you grab yours before they sell out! Alex Krosney has been skating as Lex Go with the Winnipeg Roller Derby League since 2011. A member of the WRDL All-Stars and Team Manitoba, she is also co-director of the international queer derby collective the Vagine Regime. Lex hopes to keep skating fast and throwing pants-off dance-offs all around the world for years to come.

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Torso of an athlete, 2nd century AD? Marble. Inv. no. SK 511 © Antikensammlung, Staatliche Museen zu Berlin– Preußischer Kulturbesitz, Photographer Johannes Laurentius.

points at the end of the bout wins. Sure, there’s “girl-on-girl” action—but it’s the kind where 10 strong women are playing a highly competitive full-contact sport for 60 minutes. That being said, modern derby is the most queer-friendly community I’ve ever been a part of. About half of the sport’s top skaters are openly gay, and many trans and non-binary people skate on teams around the world. The WRDL’s inclusion policy makes it clear that if you identify as a woman, you are welcome to skate in our women’s sport, no matter what’s going on with your body or your hormones. When I started “fresh meat” (our eight-month bootcamp for rookie skaters) I was only out to my close friends. It was a chance for a new start; these people didn’t know me, so I could be the real me instead of the person I had been pretending to be for the last 20 years. When I first casually outed myself at practice about a month in, my heart in my throat, no one so much as blinked. Roller derby is sport and a space where GLBT* people aren’t just accepted, they’re expected— and celebrated! A great example of this is the Vagine Regime, an international collective of thousands of queer skaters I’ve been lucky enough to help organize over the last few years. I even had the chance to bench coach an all-star Vagine Regime International bout at the Roller Derby World Cup in Dallas last December. It was amazing to work with queer skaters from 15 national teams and to share stories of how positive and powerful roller derby has been for us all. The WRDL is no exception to the queer derby love. We’re

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OUTWORDS // FEATURE

Canada’s Wreck Beach. Photo by Colin Roy.

Beaches By Bryen Dunn

Ah summer! The time of year we can finally shed our winter clothing and lounge around outdoors. For some, this means a trip to the beach to sport the latest swimsuit, or perhaps their birthday suit. Whatever your choice, Outwords has taken a look at beaches across Canada that are GLBT* friendly and often clothing-optional as well. While many other parts of the world have designated nude sunbathing areas, Canada lags far behind with only two officially recognized clothingoptional beaches, one in Vancouver and the other in Toronto. However, there are many other unofficial ones to be found, which we have highlighted below to help with your summer travel plans.

BeaconiaBeach. Photo by Dylan Bekkering.

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Wreck Beach

Hanlan’s Point Beach

By far the best-known in Canada is Vancouver’s Wreck Beach, where hundreds if not thousands of sunbathers, many from the GLBT* community, gather during the warm, summer months. It’s located within Pacific Spirit Regional Park at the conjunction of the Georgia Straight and Fraser River, just west of the city and close to the grounds of the University of British Columbia. The sandy and rocky shoreline stretches approximately eight kilometres from Acadia Beach in Point Grey to Booming Grounds Creek and there are clearly marked signs indicating where to let it all hang out. There are several trails leading to the beach area, with the most popular being No. 6, where there are stairs with railings that lead down the steep slope. There are several official and unofficial vendors hawking their wares, from beach accessories to beverages, and there are always games of some sort being played. Wreck Beach is easily accessible by public transit from downtown.

Hanlan’s Point Beach in Toronto has always been known as “the gay beach;” however, it only became officially recognized as a clothing-optional beach in 2002. In recent years it’s become more known as “the nude beach” or “the party beach,” attracting all genders and sexualities willing to leave their inhibitions at home. The sandy one-kilometre stretch is on the western side of the Toronto Islands, meaning sun worshipers get the last remnants of rays beneath wonderful sunsets. It’s a bit of a trek to get there and involves taking a short 15-minute ferry ride across from the mainland harbour terminal, and then another 15-minute walk to the beach entrance. There are plenty of beach activities taking place and in the past there have been stages set up for DJs, especially during Pride. This year, a new Toronto music event called Bestival will be taking over the beach the weekend of June 12 and 13, offering live music, DJs and other assorted performances. Bathers also can enjoy watching planes departing and landing at the nearby City Centre Airport. The area is also becoming popular with kiteboarders.

OUTWORDS // FEATURE

Patricia & Beaconia

BeaconiaBeach. Photo by Dylan Bekkering.

Crystal Crescent Beach As for other unofficial GLBT*friendly beaches, we found some on the East Coast, the Prairies and right here in Manitoba. Starting in the east, Crystal Crescent Beach is located in Sambro, approximately 30 kilometres south of Halifax within a provincial park, which is most likely the reason for it being unofficial. There are actually three separate beaches, and like most places, the “alternative” one is always the furthest one away. Not much happens here on a regular basis in terms of events, but check in with Bluenose Naturists Club to see if they might have something planned.

Oka Park Liberally minded Quebec has Montreal area’s Oka Park, affectionately known locally as Okapulco. It’s located on tiny Lac des Deux Montagnes, meaning the water is often suitable for swimming throughout the summer. Getting there from downtown can be quite a trek without a vehicle, but that’s part of the adventure, right? Public transit can get you to Vaudreuil and then farther to the ferry that crosses over to the national parkland. Left of the main family-friendly beach is where the party-like atmosphere begins. Keep the bond with nature going and bring a tent to spend the weekend at one of the treed campsites.

Paradise Beach & Cranberry Flats Saskatchewan and Manitoba have clothing-optional beaches that are cleverly split into two separate sections, with one being more hetero and the other more homo. Paradise Beach is located a short distance from Saskatoon along the west side of South Saskatchewan River and is a family-friendly naturalist hangout, while across the river on the east side is the gay-friendly Cranberry Flats, which is actually the closest to the city at only 20 kilometres away. Both are quite popular on weekends, attracting a few hundred joyous individuals wanting to bare it all at “Bare Ass Beach,” as the locals often refer to Paradise.

In Manitoba, less than an hour’s drive northeast of Winnipeg, Patricia and Beaconia beaches can be found along the shores of Lake Winnipeg. Similar to Saskatchewan, the two are separated by water, with Patricia being the more popular hangout for the mainstream crowds, while Beaconia is primarily for the GLBT* sun lover. Each is reached via a marked trail from the parking lot, where bathers will then find their beach of preference. Should one find themselves at the wrong beach, there’s always the option to wade across the lagoon to the other side. Both are fairly sedate, although weekends can get more crowded and noisier. No matter where you are in Canada, our summer is short so let’s make the best of it. See you at the beach! Bryen Dunn is a freelance journalist with a focus on travel, lifestyle, entertainment and hospitality. He has an extensive portfolio of celebrity interviews with musicians, actors and other public personalities. He enjoys discovering delicious eats, tasting spirited treats and being mesmerized by musical beats.

BeaconiaBeach. Photo by Doug Nicholson.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 21

OUTWORDS // ARTIST PROFILE

Talia Syrie T

his last half century has seen the climb of chefs to revered celebrities. Everywhere we turn, television shows are exploiting culinary creativity, charities are utilizing chefs as incentives for the public to shell out brown and red bills, food critics are stating their names as more important details than the address of the restaurant; these all serve to elevate the noble chef. Who these chefs truly are often remains a mystery, as they are more comfortable in the kitchen where skills are learned through repetition and an adventurous spirit. Successful chefs are dedicated to their craft, their art and they are part of a business sector that knows more failures than success, feeding our appetite to discover those who do succeed. Talia Syrie, owner and chef at The Tallest Poppy, is stable in her status among Winnipeg’s top chefs—an odd placement as brunch specialists are rarely found on the same list as top bistro or tapas chefs. Nonetheless, there she is. The sheer aesthetic of the restaurant

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A distinguishable flower in a prairie field Text by Eric Plamondon | Photos by Duncan McNairnay

is obvious insight into the person who sits at its centre. First, one must know that The Tallest Poppy sits in the Sherbrook Inn, at the heart of a neighbourhood that has seen many new worthy ventures of late. The renovated space pays tribute to the 1950s, the era when it probably was built, but allows a contemporary claim to the space. The furniture is eclectic and mostly consists of reclaimed orphans of table sets and light fixtures no longer wanted in homes. They are welcomed here in their original form and valued because they stand alone as unique pieces—given a chance to be appreciated by those who sit down for a meal. This is equally true of the guests of the The Tallest Poppy. The decor gives a first offering of how Syrie’s philosophy influences the space. When talking about food she is quick to recount that as kids, people were often told to not complain about what was found on their plate, that people should be thankful for what is offered to them and for the efforts of those who presented it. These phrases put the emphasis on the hard work

that goes into preparing food and not the decor of the room in which the food is eaten. Nonetheless, attached to this notion is that, as kids, there is no room for accommodations. Where most clients coming into a restaurant seem to have limitless lists of desired menu accommodations, at The Tallest Poppy the menu is more likely to change because the chef must adapt according to what elements are currently at hand. This cultivates a culture of trust. We, as clients, place trust in the chef that they will offer the best of what they know and have. This culture might also stem from the unlikely genius of Syrie’s path to becoming a chef. In her early 20s, she took to the woods as a tree planter in search herself. She was not motivated to out-plant her newfound friends, as the allure of 10 cents, 10 cents, 10 cents, was not the rhythmic calling that kept her here. Rather it was the people, the conversation and the spirit of the place. This combination is both filled with opportunities and traps. A misplaced and broken beer bottle rendered her unable to plant and she thought she would need to

OUTWORDS OutWords // ARTIST // PROFILE Fashion

The decor gives a first offering of how Syrie’s philosophy influences the space.

pack up and go back home. Not ready to leave, she found another way to be part of the camp; she was offered an opportunity as a baker for the camp. Self-admittedly not the best baker, the experience was positive enough for her to return for a second season, this time as cook. Far from the food critics, tree planters eat what they get because, as one of Syrie’s old tree-planting era shirts says, “If you don’t like the food, try the restaurant down the street.” Cheeky humour, but defiant among a group prone to not conform. If one pokes the beast, one best be able to deliver. Syrie took her appetite for temporary societies and seeking new experiences to Burning Man, a festival in the middle of a desert in Nevada. This might be the ultimate challenge of gourmet field kitchen. There is a finite amount of everything: ingredients, water, electricity, etc. What chefs can make is based on what they can schlep into the desert—an experience she now recreates by offering brunches in the midst of winter on a frozen river as part of the regularly invited chefs of RAW Almond. The philosophy spread to her more conventional setting and venue in her restaurant on Sherbrook Street in Winnipeg's Wolseley district.

Even though countless hours are spent feeding guests, she is not alone. She invites the creative members of the community to claim the space. For example, The Tallest Poppy not only lets artists from Synonym Art Consultation hang their work, but the restaurant also houses an artist-in-residence program. It’s a space to create, but also a space where artists are fed and provided libation to fuel creativity. Once a month it’s also home to the Queer People of Colour (QPOC), who host a ladies’ night the first Saturday of every month. These events might be so that Syrie doesn’t feel distanced from what’s happening in her community, but it’s also so that the community can have a small venue where they are free to create their desired reality, as was the case in the Canadian wilderness, as was the case in a Nevada desert. As the restaurant is buzzing, Syrie is at the centre of patrons wanting to say “hi.” Staff approach her with endless questions that need immediate answers. As the demands of this brunch service are balanced with the demands of tomorrow’s, Syrie glides through it all with habit. A chef learns their skills through repetition, but the great ones learn through sustained adaptability. There is no doubt these are both qualities attributable to Syrie. But it’s also apparent that she gets excited to cook a meal, a real meal—one that is meant to be shared among friends. One can’t help but feel the imprint of that philosophy when entering The Tallest Poppy, which explains why guests seek a few moments of Syrie’s time, not because she is a celebrity, but because we know she is offering the best of what she has so that we may enjoy a quality meal. Eric Plamondon is a Winnipegbased freelance writer.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 23

OUTWORDS // BUSINESS PROFILE

Crooked Paths to Tranquility Manitoba resort is a seized opportunity for local lesbian couple By Zanna Joyce

What happens when you take a couple of Prairie girls, a love for open spaces and beautiful greenery, and an opportunity? You get the Crooked Mountain Cabins resort, located just outside of Riding Mountain National Park. Framed by standing forest and replete with walking and biking trails, birdsong and wide-open sky, the resort is the creation of couple Cathy Orr and Linda Thomas. Founded in 2010, the resort features three lovely, self-contained cabins that can be booked year-round, in two-night to one-week stretches.

OutWords caught up with Orr at the end of a busy day, and had a chance to learn of the passion behind this new venture. She and Thomas decided to start the resort because of their deep roots in the area. They wanted to create an alternative that enabled visitors to enjoy the distinctive, varied personality of a small mountain environment. “We started our little resort because we have always loved the wild, rolling topography of the Parkland Region,” says Orr. “Pristine forests, stoney creeks and fresh mountain lakes abound - and during the spring and summer months the wildflower meadows are breathtaking.” Having been at Clear Lake during the height of several tourist seasons, they had

“Seeing the joy on people’s faces when they arrive here and we check them into their cabins, makes it all worthwhile.” Exterior of the Rosebud cabin. 24 // 24www.outwords.ca // www.outwords.ca // Summer // December 2015 2014 / January 2015

seen how congested it gets. A quiet, private retreat within easy reach of the amenities of the park would give visitors a choice. “Being a lesbian couple and having spent time at some of the rental cabins inside the park, we also knew that there was a special GLBT* market that might cherish this alternative.” Any business is set up to make money for its owners, and Crooked Mountains is no different. While licensing and day-to-day management can be daunting, the partial sale of another resort in the area created an opportunity to enjoy a manageable homebased business, shortening the commute. “When we heard that the Mooswa Resort was selling off some of their cabins, we whipped into action.” Since taking possession, they have upgraded these otherwise solid structures, adding screened-in decks, interior design and landscaping so that trees create natural

//PROFILE Music OUTWORDS //OutWords BUSINESS

Cathy Orr, left, and Linda Thomas, right.

buffers between each cottage. Amenities include fireplaces, a sauna snowshoes and bicycles. As a lesbian couple, Orr feels that they have a supportive community and that GLBT* guests will also feel very comfortable in the area. They’ve had challenges with some big-game outfitters, who stalled the municipal approval processes for some time, but those are now resolved and equilibrium is restored. “They never really did state why they were opposed. We were always suspicious that they were either homophobic or leery of the environmentalist types that we might attract,” says Orr. “They ended up classifying us as a dude ranch, even though, as one councillor pointed out, ‘There are no dudes or horses there!’” Orr and Thomas have been enthralled homesteaders in the area for over 16 years and find it very difficult to choose a favourite feature of the resort. “Although we pride ourselves in the interior and exterior design features, I’d have to say that the location is huge.”

A view from the Fiddlehead cabin deck.

Orr cites the views, wildlife and sedate pace of activities, such as forest walks, as prime factors in visitors falling into a laissez-faire flow of mountain life. One thing that surprised them was that, even though they were offering a tranquil retreat from the busyness of everyday life, visitors were clamouring for Internet connection. Recently this seeming shortfall has been addressed and high-speed Internet is available in every cabin. But they hope that people will explore the secret treats that await them in the area. Some of these include “certain tree-lined country roads that meander around duck ponds and across babbling creeks… perfect for gentle, morning bike rides; wheat field sunsets enjoyed from the creekside vantage, just minutes down the road; a cruise down beautiful Polonia Valley Road to the church and grotto yard; and a most breathtaking hilltop cemetery beyond. It’s the perfect place to throw down a blanket and have lunch!”

While guests enjoy their visits, Orr and Thomas are busy in the background taking care of all of the business of a resort. “I would say that there is much more involved in running a business like this than we would ever have dreamed of when first contemplating the idea. We do love it, though. Seeing the joy on people’s faces when they arrive here and we check them into their cabins, makes it all worthwhile.” They’d like to see more promotion of GLBT*-owned and GLBT*-friendly businesses in rural Manitoba, such as “a specifically tailored website available to our people with video uploads featuring and promoting the various and existing queer businesses, artists, that grace our province.” In the meantime, they invite guests to contact them about reservations winter and summer. “We do take reservations year-round for the Fiddlehead Cabin. During July and August we rent out the cabins on a weekly basis (from Friday to Friday). Otherwise we have a two-day

minimum booking policy with three days required over long weekends. Orr says they are excited about the future. “We’re always mindful of protecting the tranquility that we have strived to create. We’ve intentionally limited our cabin count to just four, unique and private dwellings, in an effort to maintain a certain standard of peace and quiet in nature,” she says. “In some cases bigger is not necessarily better. In our case we feel that our smallness is actually what sets us apart from everything else out there.” Business is growing, but there are still spots available for this year. More details can be found at their website, www.crookedmountaincabins. ca, and reservations are available by phone or email. They are located about 2.5 hours from Winnipeg. “Make sure that you leave enough time to enjoy your cruise up the award-winning Mountain Road, recently voted the most scenic road to drive in all of Manitoba.” Zanna Joyce is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 25

OutWords // Feature

The Winnipeg Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Health Clinic has undergone its own evolution into

Family Medicine and Sexual Health Care for men who have sex with other men Dr. Dick Smith Dr. Allen Kimelman Josh Kahanovitch, PA

Watch our exciting growth over the next year as we add even more services and providers for our community! www.ourownhealth.org 204-691-1600

OUTWORDS // BETWEEN THE SHEETS

ADVICE ON

COMING OUT

Dear Emily, I am a 32-year-old closeted lesbian and my partner of two years is not. The problem is that I am terrified of telling my best friend that I am gay. It's not that I don't trust her. I am just scared to death of telling her. I think she knows, but I guess I am still afraid of her rejection. She thinks my partner is my roommate! Every time I think about telling her, I have a panic attack. How do I approach this? How do I start the conversation? Sincerely, Wimpy in Winnipeg

By Emily Wilcox

Dear Wimpy, When it only takes a thought to give you a panic attack, I would venture to think that you might be just a tad overly dramatic. Don’t you think? The good news is that what you are feeling is totally normal. Our innate fear of rejection keeps us from giving ourselves fully to others. This is a trap and a distinct form of self-sabotage. The bad news is you may never actually lose the fear of telling her. The good news is that you are going to push yourself off the cliff anyway. Whether you like it or not (and I gather not), you are going to tell her because the alternative sounds miserable. Sorry, there are no pills for helping you do this, just balls (if you can find any lying around the house, that is). If fear stopped everyone dead in their tracks then everyone would be dead in their tracks. The truth is that you are not going to wake up one morning having been magically relinquished of your fear of telling your best friend that you are a lesbian. I believe anything is possible, but I also don't wait around for the second coming of Christ. Again, that’s just me. Although, this is precisely what you are waiting for: becoming fearless. Waiting for the perfect moment to tell her? There is none. In truth, every moment is considered perfect, so looking for a perfect moment is like looking for air. Have you looked for air recently? The moment you choose to tell her will be considered the perfect moment. My suggestion is to tell her over a simple cup of coffee. It may go something like this: “This is really good coffee and you know I'm a lesbian, right?” (You’re welcome. I take cheques). But let me guess…it’s easier said than done, right? This is an expression I can’t stand. Of course things are easier said than done! Who said this, anyway? You are not giving your friend enough credit. Care about her enough to tell her who you are. Thankfully, you have a very understanding partner! And luckily, we live in a day and age when you don’t have to feel fear over who you love. I’m certain you will feel a sense of pride and relief when you decide to tell your truth. Great strength comes from pouncing on your fear and screaming sweet freedom at the top of your lungs. A whole world can open up to you if you let it. Even if the world around you is crashing down, you can hold your head high and smile because you have been true to yourself. Pride is a gift we give ourselves. This is the greatest feeling of all. Emily Wilcox is a relationship expert and Author of 100 Lesbians Walk Into a Bar..., available on amazon.com.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 27

OUTWORDS // AT HOME WITH...

AT HOME WITH… In Dylan Bekkering and Colin Roy’s living room By Katy MacKinnon

All photos by Katy MacKinnon. Dylan Bekkering and Colin Roy.

rtistically inclined Dylan Bekkering (graphic designer) and Colin Roy (grip in the film industry) let their personalities shine through the eclectic trimmings of their great room. The house is more than 100 years old, but you’d never

Record collection and player.

28 // www.outwords.ca // Summer 2015

know. Calm, pale yellow walls welcome relaxation while a radiant orange street-facing wall hints of late nights clinking glasses. With large windows and plenty of natural light, this room is versatile—catch some rays in the rocking chair or socialize around the dining table, post-work drink in tow. Two large dogs scampering around, pleased to receive attention of any kind, make it hard to leave. Clean and thoughtfully organized, the first view of the room directs eyes toward intricate wooden masks on the wall, painted with a soft glow of evening light. These masks hang directly beside the electric fireplace, its backboard Bekkering extended to ceiling height. Most decorations and artifacts were gifts from family and friends who clearly have a knack for Bekkering and Roy’s distinct style.

OUTWORDS // AT HOME WITH...

1. Painting: Roy purchased this colourful gem in Cambodia while travelling through Southeast Asia. “This is one of the ruins in Angkor Wat, it’s one of the first civilizations that we know of. I took a day and travelled around it.” 2. Masks: Collected over time, four masks hang aside the fireplace, though the brightly-coloured mask covered in animals is a favourite. “It’s made from a super light wood that they find in the forest there. It’s super easy to carve and they can get really detailed with it. They’re pretty popular there, but this is our favourite one.” 3. Record player and stand: Roy received the record player from a previous roommate, and the two purchased the stand from a store in Osborne Village. As a result, the pair are now collectors. 4. Cajon drum: This multipurpose tool acts as a seat and a drum. Perfect for entertaining, the box-like structure adds life and music to any gathering.

A painting in one of the ruins in Angkor Wat.

“This is one of the ruins in Angkor Wat, it’s one of the first civilizations that we know of. I took a day and travelled around it.”

5. Buddha painting: Bekkering received this painting as a gift from his dad. The lively colours and style match well with the painting from Cambodia. “That painting is one of my favourite ones done. He’s a super talented guy. It brings a lot to the room.”

Cajon drum.

Summer 2015 // www.outwords.ca // 29

OUTWORDS // AT HOME WITH...

Spirituality

Nest thermostat.

6. Vintage ashtray: An unconventional Christmas exchange brought this gold, knee-height ashtray to the room. “We had to do a vintage present or something used.” 7. Didgeridoo: Another gift, this instrument brought out some interesting reactions from the pups. They were surprised and shocked at the noises coming out of this painted wooden trumpet.

Didgeridoo.

8. Nest thermostat: “It was a present from our friend Phil. It can tell when you’re home, from the vibrations. When you walk up to it, it lights up. It’s like an iPhone for your thermostat. I can actually control it from my phone; I can heat it before I get home. It’s meant to be more sustainable.” Buddha painting. By Herman Bekkering www.imagekind.com/artists/HermanBekkering

30 // www.outwords.ca // Summer 2015

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