Outwords 219 may 2016

OUTWORDS THE WAGE GAP:

QUEER VIEWS, NEWS, ISSUES

Why some queers come out on top QUEER & DISABLED: What it’s like to fight two battles at once TRANS & CATHOLIC: When faith is tested by the Church

PRIDE

Winnipeg preview

OUR FINAL ISSUE:

OutWords moves to the digital world

Issue 219

PROUDLY SERVING THE GLBT COMMUNITY SINCE 1994

NOW PREVIEWING PHASE 2 OUR BIGGEST OXBOW YET, STARTING FROM THE MID 200’S

Located along Sterling Lyon Parkway, The Oxbow is minutes from Winnipeg’s best retail and recreation. Put down roots in a community that caters to an active, family-friendly lifestyle and discover why Tuxedo Point is the natural choice for your new home.

Laura Ross and Marnie Ross

The RossSisters & Associates

WWW.OXBOWCONDOS.COM

OutWords // contents

31

05 EDITORIAL YOU 06 NEWS MIGHT HAVE MISSED

15 RECOGNIZING PRIVILEGE

SEX OUT 27 TAKING OF RELIGION

16 BUSINESS BEFRIENDS THE

28 PROUD AT WORK 31 BEWITHAUTHENTIC PRIDE

PINK DOLLAR

07 EVENTS LISTING 08 GAYLIST TOPIC 09 HOT DEBATE 11

A LOOK BACK AT OUTWORDS

AND 14 GAY GROWING OLD

18 UNIONS THE 20 EXAMINING WAGE GAP 22

THE INTERSECTION OF QUEERNESS AND DISABILITY

MY 24 LOSING RELIGION TO THE 26 DANCING SUN

T O H PIC TO 09

28

PALLISTER 34 HAS SEEN THE LIGHT TOP 10 35 YWG WINNIPEG JOBS SACRED 37 YWG SITES

22

38 IN THE CLOSET 39 COMMUNITY PROFILE: BRETT GOLDHAWK

41 COMMUNITY PROFILE: VIVIAN MUSKA

41

42 OUTWORDS’ SEXPERT THE LOVE 44 FOR OF TRAVEL BED AND 45 KYLE’S BREAKFAST

14

OVER 150 SOLD Experience life elevated in Winnipeg’s only vertical village where you can live, work and play without ever having to go outdoors. Interest is high and suites are moving fast. SkyCity has it all; inspired combination of downtown vibe, contemporary suites, amenities and ground floor retail! Visit our stunning ‘million dollar’ Presentation Centre today to view our 8ft scale model, touchscreens, floor plans - and tour our designer Model Suite!

204-222-2489 | SkyCityWinnipeg.ca Presentation Centre: 279 Garry Street

REALTOR®• MATTHEW NICOLAS & SUSAN JOSHI * Prices and specifications subject to change without notice. Rendering is artist’s concepts. E. & O.E.

Presentation Centre Hours: Monday to Friday 11am to 5pm Saturday 12pm to 5pm

HAVE YOU DOWNLOADED OUR NEW IPAD APP?

LETTER FROM THE BOARD

PUBLISHED BY THE OUTWORDS VOLUNTEER STAFF:

OutWords shifts focus to digital media

EDITOR : Vacant ASSISTANT EDITOR: Karen Phillips ART DIRECTOR & LAYOUT: Michele Buchanan BOOK KEEPER: Christy Elias

By Rachel Morgan

DISTRIBUTION: Terry Wiebe

All good things must come to an end.

And so it is with OutWords magazine.

This is our final print issue. After 27 years as Manitoba’s only GLBT publication, we at OutWords will shift our focus to digital media.

It’s with deep sadness that we’re drawing the curtain on this phase in the history of our publication. We’ve been trying to stave off this day for some time, but the winds of change have caught up with us.

As many of our readers know, everyone at OutWords is a volunteer, and our content is produced by freelancers. We don’t even have an office anymore; we do everything remotely. So our costs are actually very low. But we’ve reached the point where our revenues won’t cover the costs of printing a magazine with any regularity.

It wasn’t all that many years ago that we could count on advertising revenues to let us print 10 or 11 issues a year. Not anymore.

While we still have wonderful advertisers who see value in being part of a GLBT magazine, in today’s world, advertisers have many more options for their marketing dollars.

On a personal level, I can’t shake a feeling of having betrayed the GLBT community and the founders of this magazine, which bore the name Swerve with unabashed pride.

That first group deserves a lot of respect for overcoming daunting challenges to print their first issue in the fall of 1994.

Starting from scratch, they recruited editors and writers. Somehow, they convinced businesses that it was a good thing to advertise in a GLBT publication at a time when homophobia was rampant. They found a printing company that was willing to do business with an overtly queer publication.

And they found outlets that weren’t afraid to display Swerve in public view.

Only two issues were published that year, but Swerve caught on as the voice of the GLBT community in Manitoba, and it quickly

WEB MANAGER: Vic Hooper SALES MANAGER: Daniel Heck

grew. As times changed, the publication transformed from a tabloid into a newsprint magazine and then into a glossy mag. Not everyone liked these changes, but it helped expand readership.

There was one change we fought as hard as we could. That was when we dropped the name Swerve and renamed it OutWords following a trademark dispute with another publication. There’s nothing wrong with the name OutWords, but we loved the original name, and many readers thought we had shut down. Luckily, we rebounded and were able to keep going strong for many years.

Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to overcome the drop in advertising revenues that has hit the entire publishing industry.

We have to transform OutWords again, but this time we don’t know what the future holds for us.

That’s where you, the reader, come in.

First, we want to thank you for supporting us during our many transformations. OutWords belongs to the community, not any one group. Our editors and writers have looked to readers for guidance through every step of our history.

We now look to you again for your ideas. Please tell us what you want from OutWords. What kinds of stories do you want to read? How can we do a better job?

And if you want, please join the team.

Whatever happens, we promise we will continue to be loyal to our mandate, which is to inform, entertain, inspire, celebrate and offer hope to the GLBT community, in all of its diversity.

So, rather than say goodbye from OutWords, we’ll simply say, “stay tuned.”

CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE: Meg Crane, Adam Bratt, Albert McLeod, Bick Facey, Armande Martine, Ba Luong, Brett Owen, Carlianne Wendel-Runions, Danelle Granger, David Elliot, Eric Plamedon, Faith Ginter, Jacqueline Young, Larkin Schmiedl, Michelle McHale, Reza Rezaï, Rikki Dubois, Shane Gibson, Zak Hiscock BOARD OF DIRECTORS: Rachel Morgan, Darrel Nadeau, Caedmon Malowany, Chris Turyk, Nancy Renwick OutWords 170 Scott St. Winnipeg, MB R3L OL3 Voice-mail (204) 942-4599 General Inquiries: info@outwords.ca Editor: editor@outwords.ca Layout: creative@outwords.ca Advertise: advertise@outwords.ca Distribution: distribution@outwords.ca Accounts: billing@outwords.ca Event submissions: calendar@outwords.ca Website: www.outwords.ca

OutWords provides news, analysis and entertainment for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit and queer community and its allies.GST 89671 7618RT, ISSN 1715-5606 (print) ISSN 1715-5614 (online) Canada Post Publication Licence 416 99032, Contents copyright © 2016 OutWords. Alll rights reserved.

Articles are not necessarily the views of the staff, management, or board. We accept no liability for our advertisers’ claims.

Rachel Morgan is chair of the board of OutWords.

Contact Rachel at chair@outwords.ca

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

5

NEWS BRIEFS

News you might have missed A QUEER TEST OTTAWA, ON - A group of Carleton University students is asking for an apology from their administration for a fifty-year-old test sponsored by the Government of Canada. In 1961, at the height of the Cold War, the Canadian government asked Carleton University to devise a scientific test to determine whether a person was gay. At the time, homosexuality was often considered a psychological character flaw that left individuals vulnerable to manipulation.

The test would eventually be referred to as The Fruit Machine, and was comprised of several psychological tests, including one designed to detect how a subject’s pupil responded to images of naked or semi-naked men and women.

The test never worked, and the project was eventually abandoned. In addition to the apology, the students also want

the university to erect a small monument on the campus as a reminder of the hundreds of gay and lesbian military personnel and civil servants who were fired or demoted from positions on the sole basis of their sexuality.

HISTORIC SUMMIT SASKATOON, SK - This month, about a hundred people turned up for the first ever gay-straight alliance summit in Saskatchewan’s history. The two day event was the brainchild of OUT Saskatoon and Camp Fyrefly, who hosted a series of workshops designed to help students and teachers develop new skills to help strengthen their rural and urban Gay Straight Alliances (GSA’s).

Events included a queer prom, a poetry slam, keynote speakers and almost a dozen workshops. Amanda Guthrie, the Youth and Education Coordinator for

Dr. Manuel Resendes & Team Providing gentle dental care for over 15 years!

Suite 340 - Colony Square - 500 Portage Ave

Dr. Manuel Resendes N E W PAT I E N T S W E L C O M E

ResendesDe nta l.c a

6 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

By Cade Malone

OUT Saskatoon beleives that rural young people especially needed to know they were not alone, “It’s really important that they have the opportunity to meet others that are like them, and to meet people who are concerned about similar issues so that they don’t feel so alone,” Guthrie told media. Keynote speakers included Ryan Jimmy, a queer indigenous researcher who facilitated a GSA in North Battleford; and Leo Keiser, a queer/trans writer and activist from Regina.

QUEER WARRIOR NEW YORK, NY - Xena: Warrior Princess, the screaming, cart wheeling superhero from the 1990’s camp TV series of the same name is finally coming out.

That’s according to executive producer Javier Grillo-Marxuash, who is currently developing a series for NBC that will see the character of Xena return to the small screen.

For years, fans have speculated that her character was gay, given that she travelled the medieval countryside with a sexy blond female sidekick who was clearly more than just a “friend.” It also helped that she spent season after season beating up macho assholes.

While it was never explicitly acknowledged that she was gay, actress Lucy Lawless finally admitted that her character was not bisexual, but full-on queer.

The new series is expected to reflect that, said Grillo-Marxuash. According to an interview with Gayzette magazine,

QUEER EVENTS in Manitoba this summer WINNIPEG Queer Prom Grillo-Marxuash says the new series will see Xena drag all the gay subtext of the original series “out of the closet.”

May 21, 2016 10 p.m.

Club 200, 190 Garry Street $5 or pay what you can club200.ca

A WARM WELCOME

Pride Winnipeg Flag Raising

WINNIPEG, MB - An openly gay U of W student from Malaysia has been granted protection as a refugee and will not be deported back to his home country of Malaysia. In April, an Immigration and Refugee Board ruled that Hazim Ismail should not be deported.

During a 45-minute hearing, Hazim told the story of how he was publically outed by the Malaysian press after his GoFundMe campaign went viral.

He began the funding campaign after his family disowned him and stopped paying for his education last year after finding out he’s gay. The Malaysian government has a long history of jailing and banning homosexuals.

Ismail successfully made the case that he feared for his life if he was sent back to his home country, and noted that he once thought of returning to Malaysia, but since his case has attracted so much media attention, he has received threats from members of the general public. The ruling means that Hazim can now apply to become a permanent resident.

Cade Malone is a gay broadcaster and communications specialist who has previously interviewed Brian Pallister on two occasions while news director at 730 CKDM in Dauphin Manitoba.

May 27, 2016 noon to 12:30 p.m.

City Hall, 510 Main Street No cost pridewinnipeg.com

Alice in Prideland, Pride’s Opening Event

Pride Winnipeg two-day Outdoor Festival June 4 to 5 noon - 8 p.m.

1 Forks Market Road No cost pridewinnipeg.com

Pride Rally June 5, 2016 Legislature Building 11:30 a.m. to noon No cost pridewinnipeg.com

Pride Winnipeg Parade June 5, 2016 noon to 2 p.m.

No cost pridewinnipeg.com

May 27, 2016 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.

441 Main Street $20.00 pre-sale, $25.00 at the door pridewinnipeg.com

BRANDON

Winnipeg Frontrunners Pride Run

BTOWNQ: What I LOVE about being LGBTTQ*

May 28, 2016 9 a.m.

Stephen Juba Park $20 to $40 outtherewinnipeg.com/pride-run

Pride Vigil May 29, 2016 8:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Location unconfirmed at time of press No cost pridewinnipeg.com

May 19, 2016 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Sexuality Education Resource Centre, Unit C, 1700 Pacific Avenue No cost serc.mb.ca

Brandon Pride June 16 to 19 facebook.com/Brandon-Pride

MANITOBA Camp Aurora July 14 to 19 Whiteshell $25 to $300 rainbowresourcecentre.org

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

7

WORK IT! For a work-themed playlist in a gay magazine, you’re probably expecting “Work Bitch” and the new Rihanna, but this is a little more creative than that. This is a playlist for you to put on during a long day at the office when you need a little extra motivation. Put these tunes on and the hours will fly by!

THE

GAYLIST 01

Ecca Vandal “End Of Time”

This song is the first one you listen to on Monday morning. It might feel like the week is going to last longer than this year’s Oscars ceremony, but the joyful chanting chorus will help you make it through.

02

Two Door Cinema Club “Something Good Can Work”

You might recognize this one from a movie or two. This was their first single back in 2009. Watch out for new material from these guys later this year!

03

Fleur East “Sax”

If you haven’t seen this woman perform yet, YouTube the X Factor performance of this song immediately. She does a backflip into her dancers’ arms off the judges table and onto the stage! It’s amazing. And this song has the word “boss” in it, so it fits here too.

8 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

04

08

I saw these guys at the Pyramid in December and they put on a fabulous show. I may have been influenced by their charismatic, handsome frontman, but their tunes had me dancing non-stop. “Numbers” is a song for all my accountants out there.

Oh, Troye. He’s a major label gay pop star who actually makes decent music. Did I mention he’s cute as all hell? Now that I’ve got your attention, go buy his album Blue Neighbourhood. You will not regret it.

05

09

Dirty Radio “Numbers”

Escort “Actor Out Of Work”

Troye Sivan “Suburbia”

Sofi De La Terre “Mess”

Escort is a 17-piece disco orchestra from Brooklyn. This song, a St. Vincent cover, is one of the standouts. An ode to all of my performer friends reading this.

I don’t have an office job, but if I did, this song would describe the state of my desk. Now it mostly just describes my room. And my dating life.

06

10

Paperwhite “Get Away”

If you’re constantly dreaming about your next vacation, here’s a song to help you daydream at your desk. Perfect for gazing out the window and deciding what that cloud looks like.

07

Ronya “Work Harder”

Finally, a motivational song for people who hate empowerment anthems. “I wanna make a mark / Can I follow through?” It’s refreshing to see self-doubt being conquered. This was one of my most played songs last year.

Carly Rae Jepsen “Run Away With Me”

Poor Carly Rae. Most regard her as a onehit wonder and assume her new album is terrible because of that embarrassingly bad “Really Really Really” song. These are fair assumptions, but the truth is she’s got an amazing ear for a great pop tune. Blast this on Friday afternoon Brett Owen is a Winnipeg dancer, choreographer and playlist maker.

Should sex work be regulated?

We need to regulate sex work in Canada—to the benefit of workers.

The sex trade is a matter of perspective. Some, usually based on religion, feel there’s no place for it in “decent” society. Any form of sexual intimacy must be confined to a heterosexual couple within the framework of a “proper” marriage. Others, like me, take a far more open view.

and willing buyer for a mutually agreed upon price, then the transaction should be allowed to take place as long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights and safety of others.

Therefore in a free market society, the commerce component should be allowed to exist.

When we look at the industry, there are really four major factors to consider: sex, commerce, safety and legislation. If we start with accepting that the sex trade has been around forever and it’s not going to go away, the whole moral issue of having sex out of wedlock doesn’t enter into the picture. In other words, the fact that the service being provided is sex isn’t relevant.

Thus, since no one’s rights are being violated by the transaction, the only major concern would be the safety of the parties involved. This is where the role of government should lie.

As a capitalist, I’m very much of the belief that if an able and willing seller wants to provide a service to an able

The sole purpose of regulating the sex trade should be to ensure safety.

David Elliott transforms people’s lives by empowering them to get paid to live the life they desire.

Contact him at 204-888-0451 or David.Elliott@REBINgroup.com if you want massive growth in your life!

The question fundamentally depends on how you see prostitution. When you picture it, are you envisioning street-level workers? Indoor ones? Were they forced into it by exploitation or circumstance? Was it a free choice?

Are you mixing criminal trafficking in with sex work?

These questions and more at are the heart of the debate in Canada. With new laws on the books since December 2014, and a different government now in place with the power to change them, more could be coming down the pipe in terms of change for the industry.

Workers need to have choice, and regulating sex work supports that.

Choice extends further than we think, too. Part of choice is being able to stop doing sex work. Part of it is having a home and enough resources to support yourself so you don’t feel forced into it.

Part of it is about access to education and mental, physical and social health. These abilities, or lack thereof, tie to the systemic oppression

that marginalizes certain members of our society.

Regulating sex work will mean we can address why indigenous women are grossly over-represented in streetlevel survival sex work.

Regulation could mean sex workers accessing employment protections that begin to openly address health and safety concerns unique to the work. It could even mean sex workers accessing employment standards and human rights codes, and forming unions. It could mean workers de-stigmatizing their jobs and accessing more social support in the world. Because it’s certainly not all doom and gloom and lack of choice.

The challenge to Canada’s old prostitution laws happened most importantly because of the horrific levels of violence many sex workers face. The Trudeau Liberals previously said the new law is likely unconstitutional. Will they change it and help usher in a new era of freedom in Canada? Or will people have to spend many more years winding similar challenges through the courts again?

Larkin Schmiedl is a freelance writer in Vancouver, B.C. who wants to live on land and write from a cabin one day.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

9

10 // www.outwords.ca // March 2016

A LOOK BACK AT

OUTWORDS

By Shane Gibson

Just like the city around it, OutWords has come a long way and seen profound changes since hitting newsstands in Winnipeg more than 20 years ago. >>

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

11

W

hen the inaugural edition of what was then called Swerve came out in October 1994, much of the city’s GLBT community remained closeted. Although things were better than they had been even a decade before, one of its founders, Ian King, says a collective of out Winnipeggers knew more could be done to bring a voice—and some much needed visibility—to the then nearly anonymous group.

“We were past the days of human rights equality and discrimination in employment and housing, but in ‘94 we were still meeting a lot of walls,” says King, who wrote for the paper and was the paper’s advertising manager before moving into the editor’s chair for a year in 1996. “We all pitched in. It was a labour of love in the first couple years.”

Along with King, Swerve’s founding committee included Stu Burgess, Stephen Lawson, Jean LeMaitre, David McGunigal, Greg Klassen, Carol Philipps, Robert Sauvey, John Schellenberg and Robert Shaw.

All worked for free and well through the night to make sure the quarterly, tabloid-style

‘‘

12 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

I think Swerve was just there at the right time.”

paper hit newsstands on time, and King says the “crazy hours” members put in during the early days were on top of the full-time jobs they kept outside of the publication.

The idea to start a queer press in the city came after many of the founders returned home from cities like Toronto and Vancouver, which at the time had much more open GLBT communities. King says they wanted to see that change come to Winnipeg too.

But the biggest motivation for the group to start the publication that would ultimately

become OutWords was a columnist at one of the city’s two major newspapers who King says wrote regular columns attacking the queer community, as well as a push at the time to see city schools start teaching tolerance.

“In that initial year, we were fighting off people who were saying it was just political correctness gone crazy to start putting public money towards educating people about homophobia,” recalls King. “It was just rabid commentary... and we felt very strongly that we needed to counter that.”

Greg Klassen, one of Swerve’s first reporters whose beat ranged from the arts scene to hard news, says the publication was political at the beginning and strove to write from the GLBT perspective—something he says was missing in mainstream media at the time.

Klassen points to a piece he wrote about gay-bashing and the death of a young gay man who was beaten and drowned by four men who’d caught him cruising near Winnipeg’s Granite Curling Club in the early ’90s.

“It really changed my perspective on how things were being reported and how violence towards gay people was really kind of accepted,” he says. “It just wasn’t discussed— it was kind of like ‘Okay, gay people are getting beat up and killed.’”

Both King and Klassen say it wasn’t long after Swerve began printing that the collective

OUTWORDS QUEER VIEWS, NEWS, ISSUES

WINNIPEG’S QUEER POLY COMMUNITY VIBRANT + SUPPORTIVE

INTIMACY DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN SEX

THE WINNIPEG

TRANS WORKING GROUP

TIPS FOR TALKING

ABOUT SEX

WITH CHILDREN Winter 2015

Issue 217

PROUDLY SERVING THE GLBT COMMUNITY SINCE 1994

‘‘

We all pitched in. It was a labour of love…”

began to see the social change they’d hoped for seeping into Winnipeg. Within the first year, the publication was having no problem finding people willing to have their picture taken and printed within Swerve’s pages—remarkable progress, considering the paper bags that were worn at Winnipeg’s first Pride Day in 1987—and venues had no qualms about helping to distribute the free publication.

“It wasn’t just Swerve—it was a lot of things—there was a lot of social change that happened very quickly,” says Klassen. “I think Swerve was just there at the right time.”

King says things were going so well that Swerve had to start printing monthly to appease the large number of advertisers who wanted to be seen in

its pages. And to top it all off, King says the columnist whose articles had helped spur the founders to start Swerve soon moved out of the city to work at a paper in Calgary. “She was quite angry about having been stomped on by this little upstart newspaper,” laughs King.

“I think it was quite a strong signal to our community.”

While social change swirled through Winnipeg and the pages of Swerve, a big change would come to the publication in 2007, after the Calgary Herald co-opted the name Swerve for its weekly entertainment supplement. Following a trademark dispute between the two papers, Winnipeg’s Swerve re-launched as OutWords, in the glossy, magazine-style format it remained in until today.

King and Klassen say it was more than just the outward appearance of the publication that was changing around that time. They say the political angst that had been needed in the stories, editorials and cartoons at the beginning was changing too. King says that edge just wasn’t needed anymore.

“It accomplished what it needed to do,” he says. “I don’t know how powerful it is (today) as a local voice because so much of the goals we had as a community have been achieved.”

So now, just shy of 22 years after the first edition of Swerve was published, OutWords is changing again. Board chair Rachel Morgan says, like all print media, OutWords is finding it increasingly difficult to cover its costs through advertising and this issue—fittingly the Pride edition—will be its last in print form.

“We know that many of our readers like the printed magazine, so it is with sadness and regret that we are ceasing publication,” Morgan says. “We will miss it, too.” But OutWords’ online presence—its outwords.ca website and social media pages—will live on, and Morgan says the board plans to use those mediums to continue telling the stories of Winnipeg’s queer communities.

And Klassen and King both say that’s important.

“A lot of us in our 50s and 60s, I think are saying ‘Yep, we’ve done what we needed to do,’” says Klassen. “But I also think we have to remember that people just coming out now need that forum, and need that place where they can go and be safe.”

Shane Gibson is a freelance reporter from Winnipeg. When not working he enjoys the odd beer and the even odder conversation.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

13

GAY & GROWING OLD

By Ba Luong

An intern’s experience at Our Own Health Centre

‘‘

Working at a clinic for men who have sex with men is not a traditional career path for pharmacists.”

“I was a bartender in New York during the 1980s,” the patient says to me after a cough. “Liza Minnelli would call, and she’d say, ‘Hi. This is Liza,’ and I’d answer, ‘Liza who?’” Only a clever and funny man would dare say that to the great and fabulous Liza Minnelli.

Edmund (not his real name) wants to stop smoking. He’s 70, but with a full head of hair. I ask him why he wants to stop smoking. He was afraid for the worst during a terrible coughing fit. Edmund mentions most of his friends have already died. My mother passed away many years ago, so I know the pain that follows death, but not the loneliness of living when friends are only memories. It turns out that Edmund isn’t dying. “But I knew I had to change. That’s why I’m here.” Edmund tries a nicotine gum and

14 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

says it tastes better than ones in the United States. “Why are you here?” he asks me.

Good question. I grew up in Winnipeg, but have been living in Europe for the last 10 years. I lived in Berlin, where the party never stopped, but there, the only elderly people I met were grumpy, drunk or both. Germany is not known as the land of the happy. Last October, I moved back to Winnipeg to start an internship at Our Own Health Centre. A decade abroad meant my old licence expired, so I needed to jump through hoops to be a licensed pharmacist again, and one hoop was this internship. I’ve helped answer medication questions and presented information on how prescription drugs can cause harm. I’ve worn vinyl gloves to assist a doctor treating a patient for anal

warts. My office is shared with a sexologist, and there is a model of a penis beside butt plugs of increasing size.

Working at a clinic for men who have sex with men is not a traditional career path for pharmacists, but there is nothing traditional about my own life.

“Once I’m relicensed, I’ll transfer to Vancouver,” I answer. “To live by the mountains and sea.” But is that the whole answer?

I ask Edmund more questions about his habits with smoking and he tells stories about musicians he met and how he performed in a play on Broadway.

Edmund is a smart gay man who has lived, truly lived, and now returned to Winnipeg. Despite the horror of witnessing AIDS and many tragic deaths, he manages to lob a joke now and then.

“Did you hear the one about the gay Canadian?” I shake my head. “He’s like a gay American except uses maple syrup instead of Crisco.”

I laugh. Just like Liza laughed. This is when I realize why I’m really here in Winnipeg and in Canada, and not abroad and alone. If I’m lucky, I’ll grow old. I won’t die in my 30s or 40s. I’ll help and be helped by other caring men who aren’t grumpy. This has been a cherished time with these kind men at Our Own Health Centre. Together we’ll grow old, laughing along the way.

Ba Luong completed his internship at Our Own Health Centre and Walmart Pharmacy and is now a licensed pharmacist. His blog, canuckinlederhosen. com, is about observations of life in Canada after a decade living in Europe. He’s working to publish his first novel, Berlin’s Queers Prefer Beer.

RECOGNIZING

PRIVILEGE

By Michelle McHale

This piece has been adapted for OutWords from an op-ed piece that originally appeared in the Niverville Citizen on April 26, 2016

Most people will tell you they believe in diversity and inclusion. Most people believe they live it. Most believe everyone should be treated equally, until there is something about treating another person equally that makes them uncomfortable.

I’m uncertain who coined this, but there is a saying: “When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” Privilege can be understood by asking yourself if someone would not accept you because of something you cannot change about yourself, such as skin colour, sexual orientation, gender identity or physical disability? If the answer is no, you are accustomed to privilege.

Although I am gay and fighting for GLBT equality in school systems, I have been unfairly granted other privilege by the cruel way our society favours people with lightcoloured skin.

Perhaps people cannot be faulted for privilege granted to them by virtue of the family they were born into or the colour of their skin. But we are at fault when someone presents us with their discriminatory experience and we dismiss it because it’s not like anything we know or believe to be true.

We live in a society where power imbalance is normal.

This has created biases in us that we’re often not aware of.

It makes sense, then, that cer-

tain privilege skews our ability to recognize a violation of a human right that isn’t threatened in our own lives.

As individuals who identify as GLBT, we know it is chronically misunderstood that we are not just our sexuality or

‘‘

and forget to take stock of the privilege we have. Consequently, this often results in our disrespecting others in ways that are similar to the inequalities we fight.

We see this in the GLBT community when one is “more

biases, and we need to work to correct them. And, yes, we all have unconscious biases.

We need to recognize the fear we experience when our own privilege feels threatened. We need to educate ourselves to understand what makes us feel superior, or more accurately fearful, in order to ensure we do not perpetuate societal beliefs that any characteristic makes

It makes sense that certain privilege skews our ability to recognize a violation of a human right that isn’t threatened in our own lives.”

gender—just as heterosexual people do not exclusively identify themselves by their sexuality, and cis-gender people don’t identify themselves solely by their gender.

It is unfortunate that we are labelled based on whom we are attracted to or how we were identified by others at birth.

These labels shine the spotlight where it need not be—on sexual practices and genitalia.

This often leaves us feeling like we must defend ourselves in a way that others don’t, creating feelings of frustrations and sometimes feelings of inferiority. Because of the pervasiveness of this, I believe that we become accustomed to fighting

gay” or a “better gay” when they’ve always known their sexual orientation versus coming out later in life. Or when individuals who identify as bisexual are treated differently because it appears as though they just aren’t “strong enough” to come out completely. Or, when we fail to be inclusive of the cultural and socio-economic diversity within the community.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can change it. There are no better groups to advocate for marginalized individuals than those who understand what it feels like to be marginalized. In order to do this, we need to become aware of our

one human being more deserving of kindness, opportunity or compassion than another.

The next time someone says they are being intimidated or asked to change something about themselves that is impossible to change—like skin colour, sexual orientation, gender identity or physical ability—or extremely difficult to change—like being caught in a cycle of poverty or abuse, listen. And never miss an opportunity to use the privilege you do have to stand up for another human being’s rights.

Michelle McHale speaks her mind when she observes social injustice. She is a strong proponent of self-awareness, inclusion and diversity education.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

15

BUSINE $$ befriends the pink dollar CBC’s Terry O’Reilly, advertising guru and host of Under the Influence, illustrates the history of GLBT advertising in a 2012 episode. He notes that it took decades for the advertising industry to market to the community, but that in 2012 alone, the gay community would spend more than $800 billion.

Indeed, the GLBT community carries a lot of clout (and cash) as a consumer—a fact that continues to garner increased attention from the corporate world. A positive byproduct of this increased awareness is that it benefits GLBT employees, too.

Diversity marketing is more complex than running a coupon promotion. It means building a long-term relationship with a loved one; in this case, the loved one is an entire community of people.

And like the building of any relationship, it’s a journey.

Hilary Woods, senior manager of marketing planning for TD Bank Group explains the importance of ensuring your own house is in order before earning the right to ask for the business. In her 2012 article, Diversity Marketing, Jen DeTracey quoted Woods as saying, “Before you ask

16 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

for the business, ask yourself these vital questions: Is my house in order? Are my policies and culture in the workplace inclusive? Do my employees feel comfortable being themselves at work? Would the community and our employees recognize and appreciate your sustained commitment and investment? Once you are satisfied with the answers to these questions, you’ll know that you are driving to the goal of earning the right to ask for the business. You can’t jump any of these steps.”

In the article, Woods recounts a time, in 2003, when internal results showed some employees were uncomfortable being out of the closet at work. In a 2013 article, Out of the closet: The most LGBTfriendly companies in Canada, Megan Santos writes, “There isn’t one initiative that stands out, but Woods says

By Armande Martine

it started with focusing on the internal process and policies, and sustaining commitments through community-giving.”

Santos writes that Wood says making the GLBT community feel comfortable at TD by extension made customers also feel comfortable.

Robb Ritchie, Royal Bank (RBC) manager of public affairs and communications for Manitoba and Saskatchewan concurs with Woods. “Community investment needs to be more than dollars.

It’s also about donating our time, skills, resources and networks. Only then are we able to ask for the business of the LGBT community,” said Ritchie. RBC runs The Rainbow Advice Series, a series of financial advice workshops for the GLBT community on a variety of topics featuring inclusive advice, imagery and language.

The civil awareness day known as National Coming Out Day is commemorated at RBC. The day has been celebrated ever since its CEO in 2009, Gordon Nixon, hosted an event alongside two RBC employees who shared their coming out experiences.

photo by Michele Buchanan

‘‘

Diversity marketing is more complex than running a coupon promotion. It means building a long-term relationship…”

David Zyla, an out-at-work RBC branch manager, says, “Being part of a company that empowers me to bring my whole self to work enables me to focus on what truly matters—helping my clients.” Zyla co-chairs the regional RBC Pride Employee Resource Group chapter and is president of the Rainbow Resource Centre board of directors.

Telus has a long-standing commitment to inclusion and diversity in the workplace and local community. One way it has shown support for the GLBT community is via its participation in the It Gets Better movement. This project, started in 2010, encourages and inspires companies and celebrities alike, as well as everyday people, to create their own short videos proving that through the struggle GLBT youth endure, “It gets better.”

Telus supports Pride festivals across Canada and is a proud supporter of a number of GLBT events and charities.

Ryan Bazeley, senior media relations manager and national customer prime for Spectrum, said, “For Telus, engaging with the LGBT community is far more than an advertising campaign; it’s a much

deeper commitment to the community.

It’s about building real authentic connections with the LGBT community.”

Another proud supporter of the GLBT community is Home Depot Canada, which created an internal GLBT associate resource group called Orange Pride to foster diversity and inclusion among associates. “The Home Depot Canada is a proud member of the community and always strives to meet the needs of its customers,” said Emily DiCarlo, company public relations specialist.

Since 2009, the corporation has been a corporate member of Pride at Work Canada, an organization whose mission is to support the work of GLBT associate resource groups, human resource professionals, diversity specialists and allies to effect positive change in the workplace.

In 2014, Home Depot participated in World Pride Toronto, and in 2015, stores across Canada participated in their local Pride Parades to highlight the company’s value of “Respect For All People.”

That the GLBT community commands respect in the marketplace needs not be pointed out to Brendan Eich. In 2014, Eich became the new CEO of Mozilla.

At that time, his 2012 donation to Prop 8, the proposed same sex marriage ban, became widely known. There was backlash from within and outside the organization. After only 11 days, Eich stepped down. The Guardian’s Mary Hamilton wrote, “No one has said, so far as I am aware, that Eich cannot be CEO, aside from Mozilla; rather, people have said they personally don’t want to—or won’t—work with someone who actively sought to harm them, their friends, their colleagues, or their customers.” She concludes, “I also hope he never again has the opportunity to actively assist in the oppression of LGBT people, and that if he does have it, he decides, this time, that the consequences just aren’t worth it.”

The corporate relationship with the GLBT community has been slow to develop, and there have been bumps along the way. The gay market has been a fascinating study in diversity, courage, profit and finally respect. As the famous Telus slogan proclaims, “The future is friendly.”

Armande Martine is an out-and-proud activist who recently married her partner, Nelle Oosterom.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

17

UNIONS

By Larkin Schmiedl

POWER TO GLBT WORKERS The work unions have done has happened on many fronts and has resulted in real-life benefits to queer workers.

“The LGBT presence in the labour community is much more apparent now than it used to be,” says John Doyle, Manitoba Federation of Labour (MFL) research and communications co-ordinator. “Most of the larger unions that are affiliated with us, and us as well, have created room on our executive for a representative from the LGBT community.”

The Manitoba Government and General Employees’ Union (MGEU) is one of these. Representing 40,000 Manitobans, it’s the largest union in the province.

MGEU participates in Pride festivals and advocates for greater GLBT awareness among union members. According to Wayne Chacun, first vice president, MGEU has been pushing workplaces for gender-free washrooms for trans folks.

“All employees everywhere should feel safe,” says Chacun.

CUPE Manitoba, representing 26,000 Manitoba workers, marked the Transgender Day of Remembrance this year on its website. “Let’s all continue to work together to help make our workplaces and communities a safe and inclusive space for those who identify as transgender,” its website reads.

Manitoba’s human rights code does offer protection on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation, and any worker can mount a human rights complaint based on this. However, that pro-

18 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

‘‘

Let’s all continue to work together to help make our workplaces and communities a safe and inclusive space…”

cess can be lengthy, Doyle says. That’s why MFL prefers to have the language in the collective agreement. “That gives us access to the grievance process, which tends to make it a shorter timeframe before you get to resolution,” Doyle says.

If a unionized worker has an issue in their workplace, they can raise it with the union, which will step in to help resolve it. If it cannot be resolved, the worker can file a grievance. Without specific language in a union’s collective agreement, the worker may be left to file a human rights complaint. In that case, a union would provide representation and assist with the process, says Doyle.

Unifor, Canada’s largest privatesector union, hosts a Pride conference for more than 120 people every two years. It also runs a Pride activist program every other year for GLBT members to improve their social change skills. Unifor area director Ken Stuart says about 20 people attend the course each time it’s run.

“Any of those LGBT members that take it feel more confident going into activist roles, whether it be leadership within

their local unions, or learning how to go out and lobby,” he says.

Additionally, Unifor has published lengthy informational booklets educating union members on GLBT issues.

Other union organizations—like the Canadian Labour Congress, the national voice of labour—have since adopted them.

Unions have done a lot behind the scenes for GLBT workers, but also for all GLBT Canadians. Their fight for the rights of queer workers has meant pressure on government for legislation on human rights, anti-discrimination and same-sex spousal health care.

For any unionized workers, Unifor’s human rights committee handbook has some good advice: “Check your collective agreement. Does it specifically include the words ‘gender identity,’ ‘gender expression’ and ‘sexual orientation’?... If not, contact your bargaining committee.”

Larkin Schmiedl is a freelance writer in Vancouver, B.C. who wants to live on land and write from a cabin one day.

The WCB supports diversity and inclusion in the workplace.

Proud to be working for our community

Jenny Gerbasi

A HOLIDAY IN PARADISE

by GLBT – For GLBT

City Councillor Fort Rouge-East Fort Garry

204-986-5878 • jgerbasi@winnipeg.ca www.jennygerbasi.ca

Fiddlehead Cabin

Sauna in the Woods

Cathy & Linda

Bask in the privacy of nature in four charming cabins just south of the beautiful Riding Mountain National Park. crookedmountaincabins.ca cathyorr@xplornet.ca 204-636-7873

EXAMINING THE

WHO YOU ARE COULD HAVE AN IMPACT ON HOW MUCH YOU MAKE

By Faith Ginter

M

ost often when we talk about the wage gap, we’re discussing the difference in pay between men and women who are doing essentially the same job and who have virtually the same skill set. However, the wage gap increases when race, sexuality and other factors are brought into the mix.

First, let’s start with the basics. The wage gap, contrary to the belief of many, does exist. The idea that it doesn’t may be due to a misconception that unequal pay for people of different backgrounds is illegal. It isn’t. Although, many unions do have wage equity guarantees for members.

The Future Of Female-dominated Occupations, a book by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, revealed that for years, fields dominated by women have not only been perceived as easier, but also often have a lower salary. Even fields that were once dominated by men but, over time, became more women dominated experienced decreases in salary. A 2014 survey by the American Association of

20 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

University Women found that women are paid 21 per cent less than men in the United States. Black women are paid 36 per cent less than those same men, a full 15 per cent less than women who are white. According to Statistics Canada, black people of all genders experience a 10 to 15 per cent wage gap compared to white people.

The wage gap Indigenous Canadians face has been a huge problem for a long time. The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives states that based on their research, without the help of the government, it would take about 63 years to eliminate the wage gap that Indigenous people in Canada face, based on the documented progress in the past.

A 2013 study titled Sexual Orientations and Gender Typicality of the Occupation in Young Adulthood found that gay men and women pursue careers that, stereotypically, the opposite gender would hold. For example, gay men are less likely to work in engineering or science, while lesbians are less likely to work in retail. The same study found that gay people often end up in fields where the wage gap is the largest. This finding causes a lot of debate on whether the wage gap is actually based on bias. But with other studies showing that gay men receive fewer interviews and job offers than straight men, perhaps gay men are pursuing jobs with the largest wage gap because it’s often, but definitely not always, the only jobs they are offered.

A 2015 study by Gender and Society found that gay men with partners earn five per cent less than straight men with partners.

While lesbians do still earn less than heterosexual men, a new study by the University of Melbourne and San Diego

State University found that lesbians earn 33 per cent more than heterosexual women. Nick Drydakis, co-author of the study, suggests that a factor in this wage gap is due to the theory that lesbians are more career oriented. The same study found that a lower percentage of lesbians have children in comparison to hetero-

‘‘

transphobia, although transphobia is still likely a factor.

A 2012 survey by The National Centre for Transgender Equality involving more than 6,000 transgender individuals found that 47 per cent of survey participants said they had faced some form of discrimination at work—whether it was

…transgender women often found wages decrease by nearly one-third post transition, while transgender men found their wages increase slightly.”

sexual women. This may be a big factor in why employers are more likely to promote lesbians, as they are less likely to leave work to raise children. This gap is likely more due to motherhood than it is to sexuality.

People who are transgender face different forms of wage change in the workforce. A study by the B.E. Journal of Economic Analysis and Policy, based on collected data from cis and trans people, found that transgender women often found their wages decrease by nearly one-third post transition, while transgender men found their wages increase slightly. The same study states that it’s likely that the wage gap may be mainly due to sexism, rather than

being fired, not hired or denied a promotion—due to being trans or genderqueer.

In order to eliminate the wage gap, we need to build awareness of it in all forms.

True equality cannot become a reality until the discrimination and bias that cause the wage gap are brought to light.

It’s quite common for people to think there is nothing they can do to help end discrimination in the workforce; however it’s the communities that stand together whose voices will be heard.

Faith Ginter is 19. They were born and raised in Winnipeg, Man., and identify as gender neutral.

Their goal is to pursue a career in journalism and/ or illustration.

CANADIAN WOMEN’S FOUNDATION

has recommendations for taking action to close the wage gap.

Here are a few: Encourage girls to enter high-wage occupations and STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) careers.

Advocate for improved workplace policies, such as child care and family leave.

Recognize and fight gender stereotypes in the workplace.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

21

+ QUEERNESS DISABILITY the intersection of

By Faith Ginter | Photo by Meg Crane

There’s a lot of stigma around needing financial assistance, regardless the reason. For a disabled queer individual, people’s opinions of the queer community and/or the disabled community can become overwhelming.

Ardith McNeil is a pansexual, polyamorous artist who has been on disability for about two years. McNeil is on disability due to anxiety, depression, PTSD and ADD. She feels that since she is in a cisgender, different-sex relationship, people often don’t know that she is queer. However, the discrimination that she faces from being on disability is obvious.

“Nobody wants to rent to you. Even though dental is covered, dentists don’t want to see you. Therapists won’t even

Beginning in 2016, the provincial government, all larger public-sector organizations and municipalities must develop a multi-year accessibility plan that will identify barriers in their policies,

22 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

take you on. Three psychologist sessions per two years are covered. So it’s a struggle, on sort of an institutional level.”

McNeil says being disabled can also cause difficulty in relationships. “I’ve definitely

‘‘

ity, but we all live on the fringe, and that’s hard and I think greatly contributes to the hardships that we all must endure.”

Parker Hatcher, a transgender artist, has Lupus, an auto-immune disease.

people think he is using his queer identity to get money.”

had multiple potential partners bail out when I tell them that I’m on disability, that I’m ‘unwell.’” When it comes to being queer and disabled, McNeil feels that the two aren’t so different. “It may just be in my own small experience, but I feel that a certain degree of queerness and disability go hand-in-hand. Not to say in the slightest that any kind of queerness is a disabil-

programs and services and propose ways to eliminate them.

Smaller municipalities and public-sector bodies will have until 2017 to complete accessibility plans.

Under the Accessibility for Manitobans Act (AMA), the provincial government recognized that barriers prevent

Parker has been on disability for seven years due to his struggles with Lupus and chronic pain, as well as depression, panic disorder and thyroiditis. Throughout his years living on disability, he has faced a lot of discrimination from both the medical field and complete strangers. At one point, he was even dropped by a primary physician because she did not understand

Manitobans with disabilities from going places, using services and getting information.

The legislation applies to all organizations (public, private and non-profit) that provide goods or services, and that have one or more employees in Manitoba. Accessibility standards will be developed in

the following areas: customer service; employment; information and communication; transportation; and design and construction outside the jurisdiction of the Manitoba Building Code, such as sidewalks, pathways and parks.

An estimated one in six Canadians lives with a dis-

or feel comfortable with the fact that he was transgender.

“People have this horrible idea that people with certain illness can work and live a full life, but every illness is on a person-to-person basis,” Hatcher says.

He feels that being transgender and on disability causes people to think he is using his queer identity to get money.

“There are a lot of homophobic people out there that think the queer people, especially transgender people, are trying to use their trans identity as a disability and are trying to capitalize off of that, and I think people may think that of me.”

Hatcher has a difficult time finding support, being a disabled individual in the queer community. “I don’t even know one disabled queer support group in Winnipeg,” he says.

The difficulties that disabled queer individuals face can be both harsh and damaging, but how can we increase awareness on what it’s like to live their lives? “There is institutionalized bias against people with disabilities, which leads to a lack of education, ignorance

ability. By 2030, that number is expected to grow to one in five. About 15 per cent of Manitobans face some sort of barrier to receiving services from the public and private sectors.

For further information on the Accessibility for Manito-

and finally personal bias. I don’t think that people who know better could, in all good conscience, have personal bias,” McNeil says.

Faith Ginter is 19. They were born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba, and identify as gender neutral. Their goal is to pursue a career in journalism and illustration.

bans Act, visit www. accessibilitymb.ca.

– Courtesy of the Government of Manitoba

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

23

By Rikki Dubois

LOSING MY

RELIGION ‘‘

By Rikki Dubois

I have not lost my faith in the Creator; only in the men who decide what should be accepted.”

24 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

I was raised Catholic, and I was a good

Catholic boy. I did all the sacraments. I went to church.

Not every Sunday, but I went. I got married in a Catholic church and raised my boys in the Catholic religion, where they did all the sacraments and we went to church. Well, not every Sunday, but we went.

Though I questioned some of the things we were taught, I followed the religion the way it was laid out for me.

Then something happened. In 2010, I started my life as a woman. It was a hard three-year battle for me, where I had to go against everything I was taught, but the message was clear. In order to avoid suicide, I had to transition from man to woman. And I have never been happier.

Though I didn’t regret my decision, I started to lose faith in the church.

The Vatican said it was a sin to be homosexual or transgender, and since I know I’m a good person, I felt that maybe the Vatican was losing faith in me.

The church was formed by men who interpreted what they believed God wanted. How they knew this, I don’t know. I’m sure God did not talk to them. They said they got this message from the Bible. But the Bible was written by men who interpreted what they believed God wanted.

Pope Francis, the current pope, now says we must accept people who are gay, as they are regular people and should be encouraged to return to the church. I thought that maybe we finally got a pope who understands us. But he went further to say that we should keep the gender that God gave us because He never makes mistakes. So, according to the current pope, I have sinned, and since I have had surgery to change my gender, I

will never be allowed to return to the church. Another person who seems to think they know what God wants.

Maybe God has provided doctors with the ability to change people’s genders, and that is His gift to us.

So, I am not allowed in the church, but I still believe in the Creator, and whether you want to call him God, Allah, Earth Mother or the Great Spirit, He is all the same. And the messages that are taught by his prophets (Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha, to name a few) are also all the same: share peace and love, and treat others the way you want to be treated.

I now live by the belief that every living thing has a spirit, and we should treat every spirit the way we want to be treated. I treat everyone with respect and love, and thus, I live in peace. I have not lost my faith in the Creator; I have only lost faith in the men who decide what should be accepted in His name. And I say “men” because there are no women in any church hierarchy. And when I say, “God bless you,” I really mean “May you be blessed with all the love and peace that is in the universe.”

God bless you.

Rikki Dubois is a transgendered writer from Winnipeg. Her book “Muffy was Fluffy” helps children understand what it means to be transgender. Find her online at rikkidubois.co.nr.

CELEBRATING SEXUALITY WITH PRIDE

SUPPORTING PRIDE SINCE THE BEGINNING

204-784-4090

klinic.mb.ca

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

25

sun

dancing

TO THE

By Albert McLeod

Overcoming homophobia and racism is a spiritual journey. About 20 years ago, I was part of a group of indigenous gays who headed to South Dakota to attend a Lakota Sundance.

Our presence was facilitated by a Dakota elder from Winnipeg who was a friend and ally. She had ancestral connections to South Dakota and had Sundanced there for many years. It was an honour to accompany her to one of her home fires.

In South Dakota, we sat on the side of a hill for four days in 90-degree heat to witness one of the most beautiful and profound spiritual ceremonies held on Turtle Island (North America).

In 1990, at the third annual gathering of native gays and lesbians, Myra Laramee introduced the concept of two-spirit into our circle, and it was quickly adopted by many indigenous queer groups. At the time, linking queerness with spirituality was challenged in many sectors because we were still perceived as abominations in the eyes of the churches. For indigenous queers, homophobia and transphobia was deeply entrenched in the process of colonization. Catholic, Anglican and other churches were complicit in scooping up thousands of indigenous children from various reserves and isolating them in dormitories where they segregated based on Euro-centric concepts of gender.

The children, as students under the control of churches and Canadian government, were inculcated to adopt Christian

26 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

religions and deny their own teachings and languages, which would have stabilized their identities in a world adapting to European imperialism and colonization.

Roger Roulette, an Ojibwe language

‘‘

indigenous spirituality, culture and teachings. In Winnipeg, the late Barbara Daniels was the first of many teachers who began to host sharing circles and ceremonies with two-spirit people. Over time, we found our own voice and path in determining our place in society and how to share our inherent knowledge and skills with the broader community.

In 2015, two-spirit people were invited to participate in the Spruce Woods Sundance. It may be the first time in more than a century that the

Over time, we found our own voice and path in determining our place in society…”

specialist, says in the indigenous world view, it was understood that each newborn child would have a purpose, role and destiny. It is clear that the Indian Residential School era sublimated the identities and spirits of children who were destined to be GLBT-two-spirits. The result is inter-generational trauma within many indigenous families and communities where there is no acknowledgment of two-spirit people as worthy and gifted members of the community. This kind of rejection can lead to a pathological downward spiral that can result in death from addictions, illness or suicide.

In the early 1980s, indigenous queers began to counter this discrimination by joining GLBT human rights campaigns and seek out elders and traditionalists to mentor them in learning about

distinct identity and role of two-spirits was publicly acknowledged and a place was made for us at this most sacred of ceremonies. This is an example of decolonization and a demonstration of the strength of cultures who are overcoming the trauma of the past. As the dancers ended their fast and came out of the arbor on the last day of the Sundance, a rain squall blew through the camp and everyone scattered for protection. About 20 minutes later, the sun came out again and we all stood drenched and refreshed.

A sense of serenity and peace filled the camp as we celebrated the beginning of a new cycle.

Albert McLeod is a Status Indian with ancestry from Nisichawaysihk Cree Nation and the community of Norway House. He is one of the directors of the TwoSpirited People of Manitoba in Winnipeg. www. albertmcleod.com

Taking sex out of religion

By Zak Hiscock

Fitting asexuality into belief systems

R

eligious organizations have had mixed feelings about GLBT communities throughout history, from outright hate, to grudging acceptance, to celebration. Many members of the queer community were raised in a religious home, and many more have come to various religions and spiritualities as they have aged. That includes people who are asexual.

Jay Ron was raised in a Jewish household, but considers himself to be secular these days. He still holds many of his family’s Judaic beliefs, such as believing everything happens for a reason and that all things and people have a purpose in life. He knows he is here for a reason, and as such has a sense of peace regarding his sexuality: “For some reason, I lack sexual attraction,” Ron says. “I am content and satisfied for what I am.”

Today his upbringing and teachings have become a core part of his values, and his beliefs have given him a feeling of selfsatisfaction for his identity.

Julia Dietz was raised in a Christian family and remains a member of the religion. She says the stories she heard in Sunday school and summer camps made her feel full of faith, hope and love.

Asexuality is not something taught in Christian communities, and during high school she used religion as her reason to not have sex. As she got older she realized it had little to do with her religion.

She just didn’t find anyone sexually

which reminds followers to value carefulness and hospitality, and to be a good person. Rebecca began following Asatru before she discovered her asexuality.

Since discovering it, she has become more devout. Speaking with the Aesir brings her a sense of peace. She speaks most often to Gefjon, the goddess of unmarried women. “It’s important to me that I don’t belong to a religion where I feel that to be a good believer, I have to get married and have children, as that’s not something I’m interested in.” Rebecca experimented with many religions before finding Forn Sidr. “It just hit me that it was right—it felt like the truth.”

‘‘

Dietz’s beliefs have given her the hope and strength to get through even the most dire of circumstance…”

attractive. Dietz’s beliefs have given her the hope and strength to get through even the most dire of circumstances and have given her the desire to help others. “My beliefs give me a reason to live, and also a reason not to fear death,” she says.

Rebecca is a member of Forn Sidr, the Danish Asatru organization. Members believe in the Aesir (the Norse gods), and all of the other elements of Norse mythology. They get their ethical beliefs from the Norse collection Hávamál,

Rebecca struggled with depression for many years, and the Aesir have helped her feel grounded and have enabled her to find herself again.

Some people who are asexual are able to find a welcoming home in their chosen religion, whether it’s the space where they grew up or the one that they chose later in life.

Zak Hiscock is an asexual writer and vlogger living in Saskatchewan. You can find his vlogs at: youtube.com/shran100, and follow him on Twitter @zakitudevlogs.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

27

Tracy Patterson, out and proud.

PROUD WOMEN AT WORK

By Meg Crane

There was a time when women and people who are queer were barred from the workforce. Today, it’s a much different story.

Rosanna Pfeil has been a rural and suburban mail carrier for Canada Post since 2010.

“Whether I’m at work, with my family or with my friends, I am a proud lesbian, and I really

don’t mind if someone calls me a dyke. I will say, ‘Thank you!’”

Pfeil says. Not that anyone in her workplace would call her a dyke. “If someone would say anything homophobic, that

Legal protections and services for LGBT Manitobans

• Equal marriage rights.

28 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

• Full adoption rights for samesex parents.

• The right for GSAs in publicly funded schools

person would have to deal with a lot of angry co-workers, not just me,” Pfeil says. She has heard people use the word “gay” out of context in her workplace, and she doesn’t hesitate to correct them.

Even if she wanted to hide her sexuality, it would be difficult since Pfeil’s wife shares the same employer. “She started her career with Canada Post and has already coveted

one of the most interesting jobs there as a route measurement officer,” Pfeil says. She hasn’t experienced any discrimination at work. Pfeil and her wife have made many friends at Canada Post who don’t care that their sons have two moms.

“I am pretty sure, with all the support from my co-workers when my wife and I had to deal with our oldest son having cancer and the adoption of our

• Manitoba’s human rights code prohibits discrimination

• A simple process for people to change their sex designation on government documents without undergoing transition surgeries

based on sexual orientation and gender identity • Provincial government provides coverage for most gender transition surgeries

• Conversion therapy is banned

‘‘

There was no way I was going to go back in the closet just to get on the job.”

youngest son, that it proves that I am no different because of my sexuality,” Pfeil says.

“I’ve been accepted since day one, which has been amazing,” says Tracy Patterson. She came out when she was 18 and was 30 when she joined the Winnipeg Police Service (WPS).

“There was no way I was going to go back in the closet just to get on the job.”

Right from the job interview, Patterson was open, even though she was afraid. Her classmates were immediately supportive. When she got to field training, she found it was harder to be a heterosexual woman than it was to be a lesbian. This became clear when she was outed by a mentor after being placed in a department for training where no one knew she was a lesbian. Her co-workers had an issue with

Facts and figures from the website Catalyst.org

having a woman on their shift because they hadn’t before, and they were concerned the dynamic would shift. “What they said was, ‘It’s okay because she’s like one of the guys.

She’s gay,’” says Patterson.

“I thought that was odd.” But once she was on the shift, the guys were great to her.

“There’s always going to be some issues with some guys that may be inappropriate at times, but when you put them in their place, they’re very respectful,” Patterson says. She points out that that’s like society in general. She does GLBT training for WPS and talks to members about language, including not using “gay” as a derogatory word. She recalls a time when she met someone on the service who was religious and who had never met someone who was queer

before. “He had said, ‘That’s so gay,’ to somebody,” says Patterson. Even though Patterson hadn’t heard him say it, he apologized to her and genuinely felt bad for his words.

While no one has come to her about negative experiences on the job, she thinks it might be more difficult for gay men than woman. “If there’s some effeminate males on the job, I would say there would be a presumption they’re gay,” Patterson says. “I don’t know if there’d be any teasing or harassing or anything. I wouldn’t witness it, because I would say something.” Patterson says people watch what they say around her. But, when she’s not around, she could see some people having difficulty.

Although, she has faith that

• Most countries and states do not provide legal protections for GLBT employees

• There is no federal law protectingbthe rights of GLBT employeesbin the United States.

• Colonial era laws prevent GLBT people in India from having same-sex relations.

• There is no state-level protectionbfor sexual orientation inb29 of the 50 states in America. This means employees can be fired for being GLBT.

• 61 countries prohibit discriminationbin employment becausebof sexual orientation.

many of the supervisors would step in.

“You get a whole bunch of masculine guys together, they’re going to be teasing and harassing. And there’s always somebody in the crowd that pushes too far, which I’ve witnessed it. I’ve always witnessed that person being pulled aside,” says Patterson.

She’s not sure if that’s only been the shifts she’s been on, or all of WPS. “Bullying, it’s nipped in the bud right away.”

It’s clear that the workforce is not a completely accepting and safe space for queer women yet, but there are signs that we are making some strides in the right direction.

Meg Crane is a freelance writer and founder of Cockroach. Follow her on Twitter @MegCrane.

• There is no state-level gender identity protection in 33 of the 50 states. Employees can be fired for being transgender.

• Across Europe, 47 per cent of GLBT people felt they experienced discrimination or harassment because of their sexual orientation.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

29

PRIDE WINNIPEG FESTIVAL MAY 27 – JUNE 5, 2016 #PRIDEWPG #BEAUTHENTIC

See our Pride Guide—out now at locations throughout the city!

PREMIER PARTNER

Family Medicine for Everybody Specialized Services for Gay & Bisexual Men

Photo Credit: Jay Rich

286 McDermot Avenue www.ourownhealth.org

204-691-1600

Scheduled Appointments Walk-In Visits Late Hours 3 Days a Week Daily STI testing Minor surgery services Fitness Evaluation and Advice Pharmacist Medication Reviews Smoking Cessation Assistance  Sexology Consultation        

be authentic with PRIDE

By Shane Gibson

It’s time to celebrate everything that’s fabulous about Manitoba’s queer community, and this year’s Pride Winnipeg Festival is letting out the seams a little to make sure the ever-growing party has the room it needs to properly get down.

This year the festival, which runs May 27 to June 5, is extending hours to 8 p.m. on both the Saturday and Sunday evenings of the weekend festivities at The Forks. Pride Winnipeg president Jonathan Niemczak says the changes were made because of what he calls a good problem to have—a crowd that’s getting bigger every year and that increasingly doesn’t want the good times to stop.

“We’ve been at The Forks since 2010, and it’s just been constantly growing, and we pack that site every Sunday, so I think the extended hours will allow the folks to enjoy the festival for a little bit longer,” he says, noting the change will also bring in more revenue to help next year’s festival to expand. “It allows us

32 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

to extend our revenue streams—the beer and beverage tent brings in about 30 per cent of our revenue for our operating budget—so that definitely helps us reinvest and bring new content for the following year.”

The extra hours mean more work for the 125 or so hard-working volunteers who help make the festival happen every year, and that, in part, has led to another change at this year’s festival; the party that traditionally wrapped up the festival Sunday night is moving to the festival’s opening night instead.

“A lot of the feedback we’ve gotten from community has always been, ‘Why do the party on Sunday? I can never go because I have to work the next morn-

ing,’” says Niemczak. “And it’s also taxing on us because a lot of the staff is working from four in the morning to get everything ready for the parade and the rally on that Sunday, and then we’re going until essentially four in the morning on the Monday wrapping up the closing party.” “So I think having an opening party will be a little easier on everyone.”

This will mark the fourth festival Niemczak has planned in his role as Pride Winnipeg president, and he says one the biggest challenges he faces every year is helping to pick a theme. This year’s theme is Be Authentic, something Niemczak says is an important message for the community and its allies to remember in their day-to-day lives.

PRIDE SCHOLARSHIPS

“Every year, when we try to conceptualize what we want to do, we always do an environment scan to see what are some of the pressing challenges that are facing the community,” he says. “For this, with ‘Be Authentic,’ it was definitely a nod to a lot of the issues that we’re seeing with youth right now with depression and suicide rates. We wanted to enforce a message this year of encouraging folks to be themselves and not let other people try and dictate how they should live their lives.”

For more information on everything that’s planned for the Pride Winnipeg Festival this year, or to volunteer, go to pridewinnipeg.com.

For the first time, this year’s Pride Winnipeg Festival will be collecting money from festival-goers for scholarships to help young people pay for their post-secondary education. And helping the cause is as easy as tipping the friendly staff serving refreshments at the beer and beverage tents throughout the festival.

The idea, dubbed ScholarTIPS, came to Pride Winnipeg’s vice president of programming, Robert Biscontri, after he counted up the hundreds of dollars in tips folks left their servers on the debit and credit card machines during last year’s festival.

“We were getting these tips, and we went back to the servers, and when we asked them how they wanted to distribute them, they said keep the tips for the organization,” he says. “This is not money we thought we were going to get and never budgeted for, so I thought let’s throw it into a scholarship and pay it back to everybody.”

The exact amount of the scholarships and the number of them they’ll give away depends on how much they

can bring in, says Biscontri.

He hopes to be able to give away as many as three $200 to $500 scholarships this August.

The scholarships are open to anyone in the community— including supporters—who are going to college or university and could use the help. Those interested will be asked fill out an application on the pridewinnipeg.com website and complete a 200-word essay on how they see themselves in the community and why they could use the assistance.

Applications are due by July 31, and the winners will be announced in August.

Biscontri is also hoping to see the ScholarTIPS program eventually expanded into a permanent endowment fund offered through the Winnipeg Foundation, something he said will be possible once the organization raises $10,000 in donations.

Donations can be made outside of the beer and beverage tents by sending an email to donate@pridewinnipeg.com.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

33

“A local pastor and friend of mine commented to me recently that it was good that homosexual people were coming out of the closet, because those closets would be needed very soon for Christians.”

– Brian Pallister, House of Commons speech, 2005

DOES MANITOBA’S NEW PREMIER LIKE US?

By Cade Malone

On April 24, 2005, at 12:05 p.m., Brian Pallister proudly stood up from his seat in Parliament and made a passionate speech denouncing same-sex marriage. During that speech, he called the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms “discriminatory,” and criticized John Lennon for stating “All you need is love.” All of this is on the record, but what is his position on the rights of GLBT Manitobans today? Actually, he won’t say.

To describe his position on marriage equality, Brian Pallister this past year has used a word that politicians love to toss out when explaining why they changed their minds –“evolved.” In 2015, when confronted with the question of whether he now supports same-sex marriage, Pallister responded, “Times have changed. Positions have evolved.” He clearly refused to say that his position had evolved. Only that presumably

34 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

some positions had evolved.

Even Christian broadcaster Michael Coren, who spent decades opposing gay marriage, has said he now supports marriage equality. In a recent article, he described the loving and passionate welcome he received at the MCCT, Toronto’s popular gay church, as the moment he realized his views were outdated. Conversely, our new premier has yet to say publically if he personally supports same-sex marriage.

One of the most offensive comments he made in that 2005 speech was when he labelled same-sex marriage “a social experiment.” When confronted with those comments earlier this year, he told the Canadian Press, “Comments about social experiment were made by gay and lesbian people as well.” As a gay activist in Toronto in the ‘80s and ‘90s, I can tell you uncategorcically that statement is completely ridiculous. Back then, only right-wing

politicians used the term “social experiment,” and it was that kind of ignorance that we were up against. Pallister has repeated this false claim more than once, but has never been challenged to name a single gay or lesbian person who used the term “social experiment.”

It may very well be that our new premier is actually a strong supporter of marriage equality, but has been unable to express that during the campaign for fear of upsetting his political base. In fairness, his communications office seemed genuinely open to an interview for this article, but unfortunately not by our deadline.

This year, Justin Trudeau announced that he will be the first sitting prime minister to march in a Pride parade. In Manitoba, Greg Selinger held the distinction of being the first sitting premier to march in one of our parades. I certainly hope he wasn’t the last.

Cade Malone is a gay broadcaster and communications specialist who has previously interviewed Brian Pallister on two occasions while news director at 730 CKDM in Dauphin Manitoba.

YWG Unique Winnipeg jobs

By Eric Plamondon // Photos by Adam Bratt

2

one

Canadian Museum of Human Rights window washer

6

Jets locker room towel provider

Thermëa steam room steam distributor

Red and Assiniboine River Zamboni driver

3

4 BDI banana chocolate dipper and freezer

seven Groomer for Blizzard, the white buffalo

8

Exchange District building ad painter

5

Golden Boy gold buffer

This city already has a rich array of quirky and inspired landmarks, but some interesting signature sites have popped up in Winnipeg over the last few years. Their structures and what they house have our imaginations spurred. Behind each is the potential

nine Leo Mol Sculpture Garden arborist

for a unique or quintessential Winnipeg job. Or, one would assume, there are jobs relating to these sites. Here is a list of what we believe to be some pretty great Winnipeg employment opportunities. If they’re not real jobs, don’t tell us. We like to dream. Let us

Portage & Main flag raiser

10

know if we’ve missed any jobs that are part of your top 10.

Eric Plamondon is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer. Adam Bratt is a student, traveller, photographer, painter and collage artist.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

35

484 McPhillips Street Winnipeg, MB

1425 Regent Avenue West Winnipeg, MB

By Eric Plamondon // Photo by Jacqueline Young

Vue Plongeante, Cathedrale de Saint-Boniface, 2016.

YWG Sacred sites

‘‘

I want to be part of normalizing politics for the LGBT community.”

We, the queer community, might be forgiven if we have less than positive reactions to religious sites as they still often house repressive congregations.

Nonetheless, Winnipeg has many sacred sites that have been reinvented to truly become places of significance indiscriminately and in a welcoming way to everyone. Some were intentional, like the West End Cultural Centre housed in an old church. It now serves as a place where the best musicians have a venue to express themselves in any way they wish.

Some are unintentional, like the ruins of la Cathédrale de Saint-Boniface, where

locals gather in the historical open aired space to share a drink or a joint and contemplate their future and their relationship to our ancestors. And so it should be. With Louis Riel’s partial remains not far away and the mighty Red River flowing in front of us, this becomes a perfect place to tap into our spiritual side, free of

the dogma of religious sects like the one at our back.

Where our community gave places of importance to churches, today we can still give value to these sites by reclaiming them with a purpose that fits our values and philosophies of a progressive society.

Eric Plamondon is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer. Jacqueline Young calls Winnipeg home. She loves this city and its amazing art and architecture community. She has a background in both architecture and photography.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

37

in the closet Article and photos by Meg Crane

Winnipeg poet Mona Moussa, an out and proud queer woman of colour, laughs at the irony of getting in the closet for OutWords. “I have way too much clothing and I’m always like, ‘I don’t know what to wear,’” says Moussa. She managed to pull together a few outfits to show off.

Moussa is frequently touring, performing her spoken word at venues across North America, and she says she likes to have her space in order so she returns home to stability. That includes her closet.

“My boss at work said the secret to happiness is falling in love with your closet,” Moussa says. “I guess there’s truth to that.” She’s lived in her Wolseley home since July, but has moved the closet around her attic space several times, trying to find the perfect crook in her third floor space for her clothes, accessories and shoes.

Because of her frequent travelling, she also likes to have basic clothes that are easy to take on the road and pair with other pieces, such as white shirts.

Her wardrobe isn’t just influenced by her notoriety; it’s also benefitting from it. The Escape Movement sponsored Moussa’s wardrobe and sends her clothes such as these tights, which she was thrilled to accept.

Meg Crane is a freelance writer and founder of Cockroach. Follow her on Twitter @MegCrane.

38 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

COMMUNITY PROFILE

By Eric Plamondon | Photo by Reza Rezaï

BRETT GOLDHAWK WORDS NEEDED Remember how it was to be a closeted gay? Stuck there because of the teasing, the bullying, the taunting and the threats that being gay exposes us to. Anxiety builds as we are thrust into a public setting where people might catch an element of our gayness, when we would be outed and subjected to our greatest fears. We cope by putting up barriers. We cope by wearing masks. We avoid situations where we might face criticism, for we interpret that to be criticism of who we are at our core. This is a fitting description of Brett Goldhawk…five years ago.

Today, Brett is the sole speech writer for the Premier of Manitoba. His work weeks are not framed in seven-hour days, and he is often sitting across from the premier, white papers scattered between them so that out comes a skeleton of a speech that gives voice to the importance of politics. Goldhawk often asks the premier to tell him a personal story related to the topic of the speech, emphasizing that the leader does not need to prove that he knows the policies inside and out, but rather that he gets why they are important. The result is that with every speech, the speechwriter grows a bond of trust with the top politician in Manitoba.

The evolution, both personal and professional, was a quick ascent. While doing research at the legislature, Goldhawk began to have a sense that this physical space had a unique asset: being a place where discussions have an impact on people’s lives. Goldhawk’s thought was simple: “How do you pass up being in a building that

‘‘

munity,” explains Goldhawk. “I want our voices to be front and centre in a regular way so that there is less negative reaction when a queer voice is heard.”

Political staffers don’t always choose the issues they get to work on. “I never thought I’d be the one writing speeches about missing and murdered aboriginal women,” offers Goldhawk with emotion running deep in his voice. “But in

I want to be part of normalizing politics for the LGBT community.”

houses all the issues that I care about?”

He wanted in. So Goldhawk approached— for the first time in his life—a politician, fighting the old adage that “politics is all about who you know.”

Goldhawk grew up in Westwood, the son of a firefighter and an IT specialist, in a household where politicians were not among their regular dinner guests.

Nonetheless, he obtained an internship, starting in the midst of committee hearings dealing with mandatory accommodation of gay-straight alliances in schools. The presentations were powerful, from supporters as much as the opposition. It was, for Goldhawk, a clear reminder that there are many GLBT issues that still need a public space to be heard and addressed. “I want to be part of normalizing politics for the LGBT com-

the process I learned so much, and it’s now something I very much care about.”

Political advisors are thrust to the front lines of so many issues. But, as Goldhawk explains it, the result is an explosion of possible paths that open up in front of you.

There is irony in the fact that focusing entirely on giving someone else a voice has resulted in Goldhawk having a unique and clear voice himself. “I often lean back in my chair, looking at a picture of the premier and think, “Would he say that?”

A sentiment that reveals that Goldhawk understands there is not a lack of things to say, or stories to share, that will make politics relevant for us all.

Eric Plamondon is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

Reza Rezaï is a Winnipeg-based artist.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

39

ADS Express your truth

CHALLENGERS DO

ROBERT HOULE, Art History ‘72

Friday, May 27th Breyanna Burlesque’s BOOTY CALL Saturday, May 28th PITCH 4 PRIDE Softball Tournament

umanitoba.ca

MCO-00-150-NationalCampaign C.C. L.W. Outwords

.125 April 2016

Saturday, June 4th The Annual Fireball PARTY TO THE PARADE

Saturday, May 28th subWOOFer: Pride Edition Tuesday, May 31st LESBIAN LUBE WRESTLING

Thursday, June 2nd PRIDE KARAOKE 7 x 4.6” 4c Win $100 Cash

Sunday, June 5th BEAR BINGO & BBQ

Friday, June 3rd Club 200 Presents MISS CONCEPTION GOES TO THE MOVIES!

Sunday, June 5th The After Burn PARTY AFTER THE PARADE

HAPPY PRIDE WINNIPEG!!!

COMMUNITY PROFILE

REIKI MASTER

Story and Photo by Meg Crane

Vivian Muska

V

ivian Muska has been practising Reiki for about 17 years and has been a certified Reiki master for 13. She started as a way to focus her spirituality and has continued doing it because of the huge impact it can have on people’s lives.

Reiki is a Japanese practice that reduces stress, increases relaxation and promotes healing, according to the International Center for Reiki Training. The practitioner lays their hands on or near their client and transfers life force energy to them. It can benefit physical, mental and spiritual health.

Muska does Reiki for human beings and other animals, and she’s done a lot of good. She doesn’t give details about specific human clients out of respect for their privacy, but she says she once did Reiki on someone who was losing feeling in her hands because of a serious, longterm disease. After Muska’s treatment, the woman was able to feel her hands again for a few minutes.

She once did Reiki on a Cocker Spaniel who was so sick he could not move.

Muska crawled into the backseat of a car where he lay in pain and did a treatment.

During the Reiki session, she realized that he had been poisoned and urged his family to rush him to the vet. The dog died of old age years later, after being treated for lead poisoning that day.

Muska, who worked as a veterinary technician, never hesitates to send her clients for help from others. She thinks combining eastern and western medicine is sometimes the best approach, and has a handful of medical practitioners, including chiropractors, whom she refers her clients to.

‘‘

Reiki is considered by many to be something for the upper and middle classes, and Muska doesn’t like that.

She wants healing to be attainable for people of all income brackets. That’s why she charges on a sliding scale. If you can afford $25 per half-hour session, she’s grateful. If that’s not in your budget, Muska is more than happy to work something out.

While Muska will do treatments in her own home and in other’s homes, she won’t do treatments for people who don’t believe in Reiki’s usefulness.

Muska doesn’t care what other’s beliefs are and isn’t about to force hers on them, so she saves Reiki for those who do think it will truly help. And she says she herself is proof of that; Muska does treatments on herself.

While Muska has a deep passion for healing through Reiki, it’s not all she does. Muska has a Bachelor of Fine Arts and works as a freelance artist. She’s also considering going back to school for social work. She thanks her mentor, Dr. T, and her best friend Susan for supporting her in her journey to becoming the Reiki master that she is.

Muska said anyone interested in a Reiki treatment can email her at lecathin@yahoo.com.

Meg Crane is a freelance journalist and founder of Cockroach. Follow her on Twitter @MegCrane.

Reiki is a Japanese practice that

reduces stress, increases relaxation and promotes healing.”

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

41

OUTWORDS’ SEXPERT

dealing with

DIFFERENT FAITHS

By Bick Facey

Living in such a multicultural society, we all know folks who have religious and spiritual beliefs that are different from our own. Luckily, our generation is overall a lot more accepting of these differences than the ones before us. After all, what people do privately is their own business if it’s not hurting anyone, right? But what if the person with different spiritual views is someone you’re in an intimate relationship with? Can you make it work?

With an endless possibility of combinations, everyone’s situation will be different.

Obviously, the more seriously the people in the relationship take their respective faiths, the more issues there are to navigate. In the queer community, it’s not hard to find individuals who have rejected the very idea of religion after experiencing religious intolerance from their families and communities. For such a person, it may be difficult to try to merge worlds with a partner who is religious, but I think it can be done, and there can be real benefits for both parties. Many atheists and agnostics report that they are

‘‘

better able to let go of anger and resentment toward religion as a result of their relationship with a religious partner.

People whom we love have a way of helping us see the best in everything. Many believers with non-believer partners say their relationships have helped them become more comfortable with questioning their religious beliefs and adopting more progressive and tolerant views.

So what about when there are two religions involved?

Whether your pairing is Catholic and Muslim, Hindu and Jewish, or any of the myriad possibilities, a lot of questions are bound to come up. How will

you deal with your families? If you have children, what faith will they be raised in? What cemetery will you be buried in?

I spoke with Cantor Anibal Mass who does interfaith counselling at the Shaarey Zedek Synagogue in Winnipeg, a synagogue that both welcomes queer members and has an interfaith cemetery.

He says one of the biggest problems with younger people getting into relationships these days, interfaith or otherwise, is that they simply aren’t talking enough about the important issues before committing to a relationship. “They think that common interests are enough, but they aren’t asking the big

They think that common interests are enough, but they aren’t asking the big questions…”

42 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

questions, and not even just about religion.” Whether you have differences in faith, or differing opinions about how you will raise children or manage money, it’s necessary to determine if you have a worldview that’s compatible with your partner’s. Cantor Mass says it’s common for people to get more serious about their religion as they get older, or for a casually religious person to have a spiritual awakening, so religious differences that can be easily minimized at first often come to the forefront later. He recommends counselling for any interfaith couple considering marriage.

In the end, differences in spirituality are not really too different from other differences we might face in relationships. They can be a deal breaker, but don’t necessarily have to be. We need to acknowledge our differences and work to make an honest assessment of compatibility, because if there’s anyone we should be able to tackle these difficult topics with, it’s our partner.

Bick Facey is a sex-positive lover of words, and singer of sassy, silly and sad songs.

OUTWORDS’ SEXPERT

WORKRomances PLACE The first woman I ever had sex with was my co-worker at a carpet-cleaning company. What better set-up for a lesbian encounter? Alas, like many workplace romances, it was short-lived and ended awkwardly.

Why do so many folks end up romantically involved with coworkers, and are these relationships always doomed? Studies have revealed that up to 40 per cent of adults have been involved in some kind of workplace romance, and it’s not particularly surprising. Spending time together every day with

‘‘

when they try to restrict what employees do with one another on their own time.

If you’re thinking of dating someone at work, there are some pretty important questions to ask yourself. Could either of us lose our job if our relationship were to become known? Would I be attracted

…both your personal and professional lives can be greatly impacted”

shared common objectives, victories and disappointments makes it easy for attraction to bloom. And statistics show that nearly one-third of office relationships result in marriage, so it can’t always be bad. Neil McArthur, a philosophy professor at the University of Manitoba who specializes in sexual ethics, believes that workplace romances are a good thing.

“Busy people don’t have a lot of places to meet people, and on balance most workplaces aren’t negatively impacted by them.”

He believes that companies are overstepping their boundaries

to this person if we were to meet outside of our work roles?

What will things be like at work if we break up? The answers will reveal a lot about whether it might be worthwhile moving beyond playful flirtation to a full-blown fling.

Because both your personal and professional lives can be greatly impacted, care must be taken to protect both parties if you decide to pursue a romantic connection with a co-worker. Even if your company doesn’t have outright rules against it, you’ll want to take into account how accept-

By Bick Facey

ing the general office climate is. Whether or not you are out as queer at work will obviously have a big impact on your level of secrecy, but even if your relationship is common knowledge, it still shouldn’t be evident to someone who doesn’t know. You’ll want to avoid things like unnecessary touching and frequent long lunches away from the office.

On account of the risks involved, the workplace is usually not a great place to find folks to date casually. Break-ups can be especially awkward when you’re forced to see the person every day, and being a serial dater of co-workers is likely to land you a bad reputation pretty quickly.

If you do find someone special at work and start to date seriously, you’ll want to watch

out for the pitfalls of spending too much time with your partner. Be sure to maintain your own hobbies and interests to keep things balanced and interesting. As nice as it is to be with someone who already knows what your day was like, it can be easy to fall into a comfortable (and boring!) rut if you start to spend 24 hours a day with your partner.

In general, when it comes to workplace romances, your best bet is to proceed with caution.

But they can and do lead to real happiness and connection for many people, so love could be just a cubicle away!

Bick Facey is a sex-positive lover of words, and singer of sassy, silly and sad songs.

May 2016 // www.outwords.ca //

43

FOR THE LOVE OF TRAVEL

Wedding Destinations

By Linda Robidoux Burndorfer of Out ’n About Travel

Whether you are in love or looking for love or love to travel, love in the end is all you need. Well, maybe.

When people are in love, they want to see the world, hold hands while walking the Champs-Élysées, sit side by side in front of the Taj Mahal.

People in love love to travel.

I know the first time I fell in love, I dreamed of flying off to Europe to spend every day and every night with my new

love, exploring all the sites and sounds. It never happened, but it was a nice dream. It wasn’t until I married the love of my life that we started exploring what the world has to offer.

Travelling the world with someone you are in love with, or family whom you love or even your best friend, is one of greatest experiences one can have.

When people fall in love and marry, it’s customary to fly off together for the honeymoon.

Now the big rage is destination weddings where you gather a group of your loved ones and head somewhere exotic to get married on the beach. More and more couples are finding the ease of destination weddings more appealing.

Even better news is that many destinations and hotels are promoting gay destination weddings. Hard Rock Café in the Mayan Riviera is one of

them. With the legalization of same-sex marriage in many countries, we are seeing this become a new and exciting trend around the world. We recently had our first gay destination wedding in the Mayan Riviera earlier this year when two lovely women got hitched on the beach in Mexico with their loved ones around them.

These are new and exciting times for queer travel, and in the end love will conquer all.

Safe journey!

Linda Robidoux Burndorfer is the owner of the first gay owned and operated travel agency in Winnipeg since 1994.

Robidoux Burndorfer (the Queen of Travel) and her team specialize in all aspects of travel from corporate and business to personal and vacation travel. Wherever you plan to go, they’ve got you covered! Out’n About Travel would love to help you plan your next trip. Visit their website for more information or contact them at (204) 985-9200 to plan your travels today!

adway o r B y l ite    eg Defin  innip W y l e u Uniq

44 // www.outwords.ca // May 2016

Pain Relief Time for a serious upgrade to your furniture?

You’ll be amazed what you can do with personal loan or line of credit from ACU! Need to get some fabulous in your life? No matter what that may be, we can help with customized lending solutions and flexible payment options that are more affordable than in-store financing or high-interest credit cards.

Talk to us today to find out more.

204.958.8588 assiniboine.mb.ca/personal/borrow

CANADIAN MUSEUM FOR HUMAN RIGHTS

Shop with confidence and conscience.

Choose from a wide variety of ethically sourced, fair trade and local goods.

Hand Blown Glassware Open seven days a week, May 23 to September 5, 2016 Daily 10 am - 5:30 pm / Wednesday 10 am - 9:30 pm Shopping open to the public. humanrights.ca

#AtCMHR