Overachiever Magazine: February 2021 Issue by Overachiever Magazine

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Kate Anderson-Song / Charlotte Drummond / Zoe Kim / A. Mana Nava / A. Mana Nava / Shreya Rajappa / Sara Rosch / Chase Fitzgerald / Sima Greenfield / Rehana Paul / Maddi Chun / Divya Chhotani / Dini Trivedi / Natalie Obedos / Dao Anh Le-Ha / Tasia Matthews / Micky Brown / Kari VanderLaan / Julia Cosolo / Christine / Jina Park / Darsana Mohan / Erica Trinidad / Jordan Nishkian / Samina Parveen / Eman Khurram / Kristel Bugayong / Isabelle Shi / Alice P. Sari / Koyuki Aker / Gina Ariko / Nikki Wong / Harini Aiyer / Citra Benazir / Samina Parveen / Eloise Hwang / Vivian Chen / Daisy Nguyen / Joan Marshall-Missiye / Sabina Khan / Lily Low / Zarnain Hussain / Swati Agarwal / Meorah Ha-Me’ir / Jessica Yu / Marian Koshiba

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Contents Table of Contents Table of Contents Table of Contents Table of Contents Table of Contents

Harpinder Mann, co-creators of the Womxn of Color Summit

9 Interview with Gowri Nadella 13 Interview with Akshadha Lagisetti

19 Hate Crimes

Against Asian Americans by A. Mana Nava

22 look good. feel good. do good. by Joyce Tan 23

The Holy Grail by Natalie Obedos

73 Must-Read Romance

Books by Asian Women in 2021 by A. Mana Nava

81 Interview with EASHA 85 Reversing Jim Crow:

Today’s Anti-Racism Laws And How They Can Be Improved by Shreya Rajappa

87 Love Language by Divya Ch-

hotani

95 Interview with Ishita Verma 101 Interview with Saniya SOni

39 Interview with Jenny Wang 47 The light at the end of the

109 The Legacy of a Pregnant

53 Not Your

112 Not Your Business:

25 Interview with Tiffany Sento-

tunnel by Divya Chhotani

Mother’s Asian Stereotype by Shreya Rajappa

59 Living with an Anxiety Disorder by Nandini Trivedi 67

Interview with Lindsay Bryan-Podvin

71 How Math Cost Me My Identity by Chase Fitzgerald

& Sapna Ramappa of Loudmouth Ladkis

Nun by Sima Greenfield

The Problem with White Businesses Selling Asian Culture by Sara Rosch

117

My Mental Health Journey by Rehana Paul

125 Interview with Frances Cha 128 From FRUiTS to VOGUE 134 On Visibility by Tasia Matthews

137

Tsung

Interview with Elizabeth

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3 Interviews with the Irene Lo &

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Intervie

rs of the W o t a e r Co-C

by Charlotte

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ew with

Womxn of Colo r Su m mit

e Drummond

Harpinder Mann, Co-Creator of the Womxn of Color Summit Harpinder is a yoga & meditation teacher and decolonizing activist based in New Orleans. The original inhabitants of the land that New Orleans sits on were the Chitimacha, with the Atakapa, Caddo, Choctaw, Houma, Natchez, and Tunica. She works with womxn of color who want to reclaim their power and intuition through the lens of a spiritual, joyful, and sustainable path. Harpinder’s yoga practice originates from a spiritual and trauma-informed place, and that is how she teaches. She creates safe and healing spaces where her students are offered choices, guaranteed no-hands on assists, and provided opportunities to get curious about sensation. She reminds students to breathe fully and observe whatever shows up. In this way, we learn how to heal ourselves and become compassionately self-aware. Her practice is rooted in her spiritual background of Sikhism and Buddhism and ancestral roots in Punjab, India. Her name “Harpinder” means “God’s Home” and true to her name, it is now her life’s work to continue the practice of arriving home to her body with a sincere desire to share in sangha. Her studies have spanned from reading the Japji Sahib since she was 3 to over 700 hours of yogic training within the traditions of Raja, Vinyasa, Kundalini, and Prenatal Yoga with a special reverence for the Ananda Sangha where her journey began. Without her teachers, ancestors, and womxn before her, none of this would be possible. As the Co-Creator and Co-Founder of the Womxn of Color Summit, Harpinder is focused on creating safe and inclusionary spaces for womxn and non-binary people of color to share stories and knowledge as well as make impactful change. She strongly believes part of that journey is to reclaim our heritage, cultures, and recenter ourselves in our lives. You can schedule a time to chat at www.harpindermann.com if you’re interested in a 1:1 mentorship or keep up to date on her upcoming workshops and retreats by following her on Instagram @harpindermannyoga.

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Irene Lo, Co-Creator of the Womxn of Color Summit Irene is an Asana Facilitator and Tarot Reader currently based on the unceded territory of the Coast Salish People including the territories of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Irene’s pronouns are she/her, and she is a cisgender Taiwanese Canadian of Han and Hakka descent, but she is not your model minority. Irene helps her students and clients create a sustainable self-care practice because healing is a radical and absolutely necessary act for those fighting for change. Her work is rooted in going inwards, whether it is through the spiritual practice of yoga or the intuitive practice of tarot, because she believes self-care is our birthright. Irene received her 200 training with the Lila School of Vinyasa and teaches in honour of Krishnamacharya while showing up for herself and community. Irene is one of the Co-Creators and Co-Founders of the Womxn of Color Summit, where she has created a healing community for womxn of color by womxn of color. The community celebrates and uplifts Black, Indigenous, and Womxn of Color in the healing modalities and empowers community to be seen and heard. Through Irene Yoga Flow, Irene teaches playful vinyasa and relaxing sweet yin yoga classes for individual womxn of color to sustain their self-care rituals, and through Womxn of Color Summit, Irene brings her yoga off the mat by focusing on community care for the collective through amplifying and uplifting the voices of Black, Indigenous, and Womxn of Color. You can practice with Irene on YouTube at Irene Yoga Flow, and you can attend monthly live Zoom yin yoga and tarot meditation classes with her. Keep up to date by signing up for her newsletter at www.ireneyogaflow.com/asana and following her on Instagram @ ireneyogaflow.

On Tuesday evening, January 26, I sat down with the co-founders of the Womxn of Color Summit. Irene Lo, 29, is originally from Vancouver, Canada who emigrated from Taipei, Taiwan is an Asana facilitator and tarot reader. Harpinder Mann, 27, is a Punjabi Sikh yoga and meditation teacher from California. Both of them specialize in helping BIPOC to incorporate selfcare practices into their daily routines as coping mechanisms for the anxieties they constantly face. While Lo is in British Columbia and Mann is currently based in New Orleans, they have been working together to put together the second annual Womxn of Color Summit taking place online at the end of February. The idea for the summit came to fruition when Lo and Mann met at a decolonization mentorship program, where they were paired up as each other’s accountability partners, where they really got to get to know each other. “From those conversations about decolonization and decolonizing the wellness space, the spirituality space, we felt there was a friendship that blossomed,” Irene says. “We decided to create the Womxn of Color Summit after having these conversations about the frustrations [we had about] the wellness space...There weren’t a lot of women of color being seen as the leaders, or even being seen, heard, or welcomed in a space where everyone needs healing.”

far with Harpinder and this community that we’ve built. It’s what’s sustained me, and continuing to do this work is just thinking about everyone that needs this.” This year, Lo and Mann have arranged for a full 6-day summit featuring a multitude of panels, events, and speakers. The second annual summit has introduced Integration Day, allowing the attendees to participate in a silent retreat. Integration Day will enable attendees to process all of the interactions and information they’ve taken in over the previous days. Lo and Mann even introduced a Soul Buddy program, where they pair different attendees together to form bonds that they hope are similar to their own friendship. “I feel like we’ve built such a good partnership,” Mann says about her co-founder, Lo. “I trust what we’re doing... I’m tremendously lucky to be working with Irene...Even if the summit completely failed, I still got to work with Irene.” “The relationship that we have is so honest and open,” Lo adds about Mann. “We have been able to build this trust where we can say things that may not make us look in the best light or show us in our weakness per se. There are no conditions to the love and the trust, which is really, really nice.”

After the program wrapped up, Lo and Mann kept in touch and worked together to make their vision come to life. Before they even sold tickets, they both quit their 9 to 5 jobs to pursue the passions that allow them to focus on making the summit an uplifting experience for all the women of color that attend.

Lo and Mann expressed how much the summit has altered their lives not only in terms of career but also how it has clarified parts of themselves that are unique to their experiences as women of color and how that has made them more aware of their personal beliefs. They both reflected on their childhoods and how they were raised, and how that has impacted the way they experience the world today.

“I quit my job to pursue this full time,” Lo says. “It’s made a big impact on me. It’s been wonderful to be on this journey so

“My mom is a really passionate, caring person,” Lo says. “A lot of Chinese people, Chinese friends that I talk to, [have]

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similar narratives that their parents are very physically not intimate and [they] never get hugged, never say ‘I love you.’ That wasn’t really my childhood growing up. [Growing up with] my mom has impacted me and some of the decisions that I’ve chosen to make in my life.” “As a kid, I began associating religion and spirituality with not great things and spent most of my life up until I was 20 pretty atheistic,” Mann says. “[It was when I moved to] India [when] I started going to yoga classes and meditation classes [again], and it was [formed] such a beautiful connection that now I’ve returned back to my roots of Sikhism and spirituality.” The individual experiences they’ve identified in themselves is something they’ve noticed is quite relatable to many other women of color. They created the summit to provide a space that they knew they would be comfortable expressing themselves in, and they knew they wanted to do it on their own terms. Lo expresses the sentiments of making women of color feel at home and feel like they’re having genuine and healthy conversations at their summit. “Being able to create something, creating our own table is so powerful knowing that whoever we invite, we are lifting up other women,” Lo says. “[We let] that feed into how we’re communicating and how we’re offering things, how we’re treating the people that we work with. I think that’s been one of the most fulfilling things, to know that it’s possible. I can be myself and still make this a success, whereas working in my office job sometimes, it felt like I had to ignore parts of myself or I had to be like that other person in the room because they were the ones that were seen as legitimate and credible.” Mann also conveyed how fulfilling the summit is for her, but she was also hon-

est about the hardships they’ve faced and continue to have to overcome. “Being able to decide how to run this as I want [is] quite a freeing process,” Harpinder says. “But it’s a frustrating one because I realize sometimes things take more time than I’ve been conditioned to believe, and sometimes deadlines are going to be passed. Sometimes mental health stuff is going to come up, and how do I learn to place that with more importance than productivity? I think that’s been incredibly freeing, but also difficult.” But even with the good, the bad, and the ugly, Lo and Mann truly appreciate what they’ve manifested and organized with the Womxn of Color Summit. Their goal is to unite and ease away the divide, and they are hopeful about positively impacting other women of color with their warm, authentic, and friendship-bound creation. “I’ve been thinking about this Audre Lorde quote that says that we need to move ‘from divide and conquer’ to ‘define and empower,’” Irene says. “I think that even when we are doing our social justice work or tapping into our ancestral lineages, we can still have vestiges of a colonial mindset where there are jealousies, there are shadows, and there is just this competitiveness and this judgment that comes out of other people that look like us... We’re so internally oppressed in that aspect...Recognizing that we have been made to feel separate and divided and that even if we may want to connect, we still need to acknowledge that elephant in the room.” The Womxn of Color Summit is a virtual summit providing soul care for Black, Indigenous, and women of color, and nonbinary folks. The event took place from Tuesday, February 23, to Sunday, February 28. OM.

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a d N e i l l r a w o w Interview ith

by Kate Ander son-S

ong

Gowri Nadella (born February 13, 2004) is a multifaceted American model and actress. Starting at the age of 13, Gowri has worked on a variety of projects, ranging from modeling work to voice-over roles. She has graced the pages of several magazine publications (photo Vogue Italia, SEEMA Magazine, Alpha Teen) and has done various TV/Film projects (‘See You Through My Eyes, Globalme). Gowri’s fun and easygoing personality combined with her drive and passion for the arts is evident in her work and personal life, where she strives to work hard and positively impact those around her. Instagram: @gowrinadella Introduce yourself! Hi! I’m Gowri Nadella and I’m a 17 year old model and actress, among many other things, from Chicago! Along with your print modeling work, you also were featured in The Head and The Heart’s music video “See You Through My Eyes” (released 2019). How was that experience? How has it influenced your career going forward? I learned so much from that set, and it was an incredible way to be introduced to the world of film, because a film set is so different from a modeling set. Being a young teen and working with such talented actors, producers, Warner Brother executives, directors, and many more incredible people was an experience that has really shaped who I am today. It’s not commonplace for a 15 year old to be navigating those types of situations, which is one of the things I love about being on set, particularly our set for SYTME. I am forever grateful for getting that experience at such a young age, it really solidified my love for the arts. To answer the second part of the question, from every set I work on I learn more and more. I’ve been doing this for just about two years and I feel like I have so much to learn! It is the most exciting and liberating feeling to become more

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confident and challenge myself more with every project I work on. What are you up to now? How has this time of COVID-19 affected you and your work? COVID-19 definitely put a pause on the fashion industry for a few months, but it’s impossible to stop an industry as diverse and creative as the entertainment/fashion industry from pivoting and finding new ways to continue making art. I feel like that also describes my personal journey these past few months. During quarantine, I had a lot of free time and often used that freetime to recenter and reground myself, as I feel that staying centered within yourself makes your work more authentic. I was also very fortunate that me and my family were/are healthy and I used my time during quarantine to relax at home! Who are your role-models? I would say one of my role models is Adesuwa Aighewi - everytime I listen to her speak I learn something new! I love her perspective and the way she’s able to express herself. Not to mention she has incredible style! Career wise, I respect how hard she works and would love to do the things she’s doing in the industry when I’m older.

What is the best piece of advice you have received? To listen to my intuition. My mom told me this when I was really young and it definitely stuck with me. My parents raised me in a way that would exemplify my natural spirit, and I feel like that quote is an extension of myself. What does self care mean to you? How do you take care of yourself? I feel like self care is more important now than ever. I know that is definitely something I learned throughout the course of last year. I’m very much the type of person who will work for hours on end and go to bed exhaustedand . So, for me, self care means recentering myself and doing things that genuinely make you feel good! In my case, that’s going on drives, meditating, listening to my favorite music, eating healthy, among others.

I love this question, thank you for asking! I would say definitely painting with my family. My family decided to repaint some of our rooms and today we painted our bathroom. My mom and I painted and danced to music- it was a blast. We probably listened to Levitating by Dua Lipa for 45 minutes straight. And now there’s paint everywhere! Here are some rapid-fire questions: Your go-to Starbucks order? I’ve always preferred tea over coffee, so I would definitely order a Black Tea with Coconut Milk and Sugar. And maybe a cinnamon-raisin bagel... I love their bagels. Favorite Music Artist? Bazzi. Favorite color? Yellow. Favorite season? Summer. How would you describe yourself in 3 words? Fun, Passionate, Driven.

“It is the most exciting and liberating feeling to become more confident and challenge myself more with every project I work on.”

What is something people would be surprised to learn? That I have an adventurous and easy going side to myself. I’m pretty much down to do anything at any time. But my favorite thing to do is ride Motorcycles - my uncle taught me how when I was 9 years old on our farm in India, and pretty much anything outdoors… I especially love hiking and tubing! Unfortunately there’s not really anywhere to go tubing in Illinois :) What has been the most rewarding part of your day so far?

Ultimate comfort food? Pizza Hut Breadsticks! What is next for you? Acting wise, there is something so exciting in the works that I am hoping to share later this week. I have a few meetings planned for this week with some incredible people and I am so excited. It’s something I have been dreaming of my whole life. As for modeling, there is also something really exciting in the works that I can’t wait to share! OM.

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Akshadha Lagisetti is a 17-year-old, Indian American political organizer from Atlanta, Georgia. She has been very involved with politics and activism in Georgia since 2018, when she first worked on Stacey Abrams’ gubernatorial campaign. In the past, she’s worked on Elizabeth Warren’s presidential campaign, with AAPI Outreach for March For Our Lives Georgia, for the Gwinnett County Democratic Party, for GA State Representative Sam Park, and most recently for the Democratic Party of Georgia for both the general election and senate runoffs. She currently works with March For Our Lives Georgia as the Communications Director and as the Co-Director of Civic and Creative Engagement and Atlanta Executive Director for Asian Youth for Civic Engagement. Outside of politics and activism, she loves art, dancing, and reading. Social profiles: Instagram: @akshls / @aycenational / @ayceatlanta Website: http://aycevote.org/ Introduce yourself! ing political awareness among our comMy name is Akshadha Lagisetti. I’m Inmunities, but working on-ground to dian American, 17-years-old, and a high push civic engagement and advocate for school senior. I’m from Atlanta, Georgia policies beyond voting. and am really passionate about political I am a high school senior and a Co-Diorganizing. A lot of my advocacy work so rector of Civic and Creative Engagement far has been within electoral politics, but for Asian Youth for Civic Engagement I also work within gun violence preven(AYCE). tion and have forayed into policy advocacy. So far, we’ve created I’m really passionate voting murals across “Awareness is always about Asian Amerithe country, run great, but I think that phone banking and can issues, combating gun violence, and adbanking events by more young people text vocating for women’s partnering with promrights. In my free time, should branch out from inent AAPI politicians I love to make digital organizations; social media and raising and art, dance, spend time advocated for policy on Twitter, and read awareness to look within change in our commubooks and webtoons. published artitheir communities to see nities; cles; interviewed acYou are the Co-Ditivists, politicians, and what they can do...” rector of Civic & Creyoung Asian creatives; ative Engagement and more! We also refor Asian Youth for cently announced a Civic Engagement - what is this orgascholarship contest with a $1000+ prize nization and what is your involvement? pool for young Asian creatives (we havAYCE (Asian Youth for Civic Engageen’t announced his involvement yet – but ment) was established in the summer Harry Shum Jr. is one of our judges!) and of 2019 and we’re almost done with our are working on restructuring our team to 501c4 certification. We are an organizafocus more on civic engagement, chaption of mostly Asian youth primarily in ter impact, and policy. America with the goal of not only spread-

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I also lead the Atlanta Chapter, and we’ve done a lot of work for the 2020 general election cycle and runoffs with murals, text banking, phone banking, and letter writing and recently joined the Georgia Immigration Rights Alliance to discuss and advocate for and against bills that affect Immigrant Georgians. What do you think are the biggest issues facing young people right now? I think that Gen Z is the most socially progressive generation and has a lot of capacity to be at the forefront of advancing change, but at times, we tend to fall into a “Gen-Z Savior Complex.” I think it’s important for Gen Z to not dismiss the opinions of and take advice from adults, and always make sure that we are following the leads of BIPOC organizers who have worked tirelessly for years when social justice was not as much of a trend. Furthermore, I think that young people also tend to fall in the trap of social media activism (creating and reposting infographics, etc). Awareness is always great, but I think that more young people should branch out from social media and raising awareness to look within their communities to see what they can do – whether with advocating legislation, campaigning for local officials, mutual aid, or even having more meaningful discussions with people who might not always agree with us. I think that there is a lot more potential for meaningful change when we start within the communities closest to us. You are “passionate about civic engagement from the local to the national level” - what do you recommend for young people who want to be more civically engaged? Who wants to speak out on important issues or politics? I touched on parts of this question in my previous answer, but for young people who want to be more civically engaged on a local level

I recommend checking out mutual aid groups within your community, looking to start chapters of orgs like Sunrise or MFOL that still focus on local impact, and working with a local official – like your state rep or members of your school board. This definitely applies to the state and national levels as well, and one of the easiest ways to get involved is to volunteer for or join a campaign, donate, or even hop on events like phone banking, text banking, webinars, and panels for broader, national issues. I think that as more Gen Z become politically aware and even delve deeper into history (personally I hadn’t really known much about Asian American history (like immigration restrictions, the changing definition of race in America) and what it really means to be Asian American with context from social justice/activist history. Do you have any role models? I first started delving deeper into political organizing when I had the opportunity to intern on Stacey Abrams’ 2018 Georgia Gubernatorial Campaign as a sophomore. Working on her campaign showed me that there was a lot of potential to flip Georgia Blue, and she’s definitely been one of my inspirations for continuing within this field of work. When I interned at the Gwinnett County Democratic Party, one of my mentors, Bianca Keaton (now former chair of the Party) really emphasized having grit and drive when organizing. As a Black woman who in a low-income household without much support, she has faced many hurdles – whether in her position as chair or working on the Hill – and within her narration of her experiences to me she always emphasized believing in yourself and your accomplishments. I also had the opportunity to work with

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“I’ve become really passionate about increasing the power of the AAPI electorate and hope to work to push policy and legislation beyond electoralism when I go to college next year.” Georgia State Representative Sam Park, who is the first openly gay Asian to be elected to the Georgia State Legislature and also recently gave a keynote speech at the 2020 DNC Convention. He has always emphasized service leadership beyond the “political game” and actually listening to constituents and community members on issues and how to help them. How has this time of COVID-19 affected you and your work? How have you been coping? The transition from in-person to online, especially with campaigns, has both pros and cons. It’s definitely harder to reach out to voters and make meaningful connections, but I’ve somehow been able to put in more hours than I could’ve in a normal year. When working as a fellow under Rep Sam Park, I helped reach out to seniors in my community in May/June and definitely realized how severe of an impact COVID-19 has on our most vulnerable community members. I’ve been lucky to not face any financial/physical hardships due to COVID-19, but I have sometimes had somewhat of a tough

time with school and my mental health and am really grateful to having close friends that make it easier to cope with everything that’s been happening. What does self care mean to you? How do you take care of yourself? Definitely feeling content with where I am and what I’m looking forward to. Whenever I try to take care of myself, I spend time on skin care, try to work out, and sleep a lot.

Here are some rapid-fire questions: Your go-to coffee shop order? Iced Matcha Green Tea Latte

Favorite color? Blue, but purple is a close second Any good films/tv shows you’re watching right now? What We Do In The Shadows, Thor: Ragnarok, True Beauty Ultimate comfort food? Instant Ramen! It’s so easy to make and so tasty. What has been the highlight of your day today? I was notified that I’m a finalist for a scholarship program that I applied for! What is next for you? I’ve become really passionate about increasing the power of the AAPI electorate and hope to work to push policy and legislation beyond electoralism when I go to college next year.

OM.

Hate Crimes Against Asian Americans Written By A. Mana Nava @books.with.mana on IG, @dis_Mana_ting on Twitter A. Mana Nava is a freelance writer and a dog-walking-while-reading hazard. Their fiction has been nominated for the Best American Short Story anthology. The nominated piece can be found in The Hopkins Review (issue 13.4). Currently, Nava is a cohort in the Kundiman’s 2021 Asian American Feminist Workshop, a mentee with Representation Matters Organization, an editorial intern at Overachiever, and a contributor for the Drizzle Review.

eported cases of violence against Asian Americans is on the rise.

Last year, Stop APPI Hate Reporting Center documented 2,808 firsthand accounts of anti-Asian hate. Of those accounts, 7.3% of the victims were 60 or older. These reports include verbal assaults, avoidance, being barred from establishments, and physical assaults (coughing, spitting, shoving, etc.). Elders in the Asian American community are being assaulted at unprecedented rates. This January, a 52-year-old woman was shot in the head with a flare gun in Oakland’s Chinatown, an 84-year-old Thai man was killed after being pushed in San Francisco, a woman was dragged by a car, and three separate Asian American seniors were assaulted on the same day in Oakland. This February, a 61-year-old Filipino man was slashed in the face in New York City, a 79-year-old Asian man was attacked in San Francisco, and a 64-yearold woman was robbed in San Jose after taking out money for Lunar New Year presents. And February is not over yet. It is essential to recognize that the bulk of the assaults mentioned above in the

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San Francisco Bay Area and New York are often lauded as diverse, safe-havens. The falsehood of post-racial communities in America only causes complacency and in-fighting amongst marginalized communities. This is especially dangerous when an ethnic group becomes singled out as an enemy to the public by politicians. After a year of xenophobic rhetoric from the previous presidential administration, the Asian American community is looking for answers to stop the violence. The truth is this dangerous, xenophobic behavior is nothing new. Historically, the United States government has a long history of discriminatory legislation targeted at the Asian American community. Xenophobia led to the Chinese Exclusionary Act of 1882 and was expanded by a Bay Area Congressman with the Geary Act. Asians were not allowed to immigrate to America until 1924 after acquiring Guam and the Philippines as a colony. White communities would riot and burn down Asian communities, like during the 1930 Watsonville Riots. Then, President Franklin D. Roosevelt established internment camps for Japanese Americans in 1942 in reaction to Pearl Harbor.

These Japanese American citizens were arrested, detained, and their possessions seized because of their ethnicity. After 9-11 South Asians, particularly the Sikh community, were victims of violent hate crimes for being perceived as Arab or Muslim. Most recently, the previous administration referring to COVID-19 as the “Kung-flu,” “China plague,” “Chinese virus,” and “Wuhan virus” was just another bullet point on the long list of xenophobic behavior the United States government exhibited towards its Asian American citizens. How can we defeat xenophobia? The Asian American community must engage in conversations about xenophobia and racism. Hateful, dangerous, and violent behavior must be called out. Denouncing and condemning xenophobic, racist, and discriminatory language is the bare minimum. Unfortunately, the last administration forced politicians to publicly denounce bullying, hate speech, and spreading misinformation. It needs to be made clear that ethnic origin has nothing to do with a virus. New legislation has been passed to start the conversation. New York Congresswoman Grace Meng introduced House Resolution 908, which was passed on September 17, 2020. This legislation condemned misinformation and all xenophobic/racist language, especially rhetoric describing COVID-19. Additionally, Resolution 908 emphasized collecting data on COVID-19 related hate crimes. Then, President Joe Biden signed the Memorandum Condemning and Combating Racism, Xenophobia, and Intolerance Against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in the United States. This executive order states that the federal government condemns all racism, xenophobia, and intolerance. From this moment for-

ward, the federal government will stop using xenophobic language to describe COVID-19. Various departments and agencies are encouraged to consult AAPI and other community organizations to explore solutions. Both pieces of legislation are the first step. Two different branches of the government acknowledged the xenophobia and racism Asian Americans currently face. Providing the public with accurate information about COVID-19 and condemning discrimination is vital to changing the rhetoric around COVID-19 from xenophobia to precise scientific language. Reaching out to community organizations to hear different perspectives is critical to understanding real issues marginalized groups face is just the beginning. We need solutions now to protect the most vulnerable in our communities. To eradicate the racism the Asian American community currently faces, we must examine our current social system and deconstruct it. We cannot be complicit or silent about anti-Blackness, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, or any other hate speech that leads to violence. We cannot depend on the tools of a broken system to solve the problems it created. In August, The New York Police Department announced the Asian Hate Crime Task Force comprised of Asian American officers. The idea is to make civilians comfortable speaking to officers to encourage reporting harassment and assault. This task force is permanent as of right now.

As a response to the spike in activity, the Oakland police department has increased foot and car patrols in Chinatown to prevent other robberies and assaults.

It is essential to acknowledge that the racism, prejudice, and xenophobia of the Asian American community is different from the racism the Black community experiences. The increase in police foot traffic and surveillance puts the Black Community at risk. Organizations like the Committee Against Anti-Asian Violence (CAAV), Asians4BlackLives, and the Oakland Chinatown Coalition implore that the Asian community seeks alternative actions. Delivering meals and running errands for elders have been proposed as well as volunteer civilian foot patrols and cleanups to protect the community. It is also essential to emphasize Black and Asian American Activism in the past. Asian American activist, Richard Aoki, was a member of the Black Panther Party and famously held the sign “Yellow Peril Supports Black Power” during a rally supporting Huey Newton. Yuri Kochiyama and Angela Davis spoke about the power of community organizing in the documentary When Mountains Take Wing. These legendary activists emphasize solidarity across racial-ethnic boundaries for social change.

Support local community organizations doing the work to fundraise and protect their communities with donations, sharing information, and volunteering. Here’s a list of the organizations mentioned in this article as well as few others: Committee Against Anti-Asian Violence Asian Pacific Policy Planning council (CCA Coalition) Stop AAPI Hate Chinese for Affirmative Action Asians4BlackLives Oakland Chinatown Coalition Asian Pacific Policy and Planning Council APENEJ Asian Prisoner Supper Committee Filipino Cultural Center APIENC: API Equality NorCal Womankind CCED LA SEACA LA Asian Law Caucus OM.

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look good. feel good. do good. Written By Joyce Tan Joyce Tan works on the Social Media team on Overachiever Magazine. In her free time, you’ll most likely find her at a bouldering gym or cuddling up with a new book (if you have any recommendations, please let her know!) with her hedgehog. Her favourite part of working at Overachiever has been getting to know the other staff and working collectively to uplift Asian women.

✨

ello, readers of OM A couple of days back, I was reflecting on the path my university career has taken, and something dawned on me. After conquering four years of brutal classes, endless presentations, and countless finals and exams, I realized that there was one major factor that contributed to my performance each and every day: Look good, feel good, do good. Every time I have a final or an exam, I set it in my routine to always wake up an hour before my alarm, sloth away in bed and relax, and then spend at least 30 minutes that morning getting ready. Along with my hour-long commute to school, this often means that I have to wake up at 5AM but let me tell you...it is worth it. While it might seem like a complete waste of time, I see it as an investment to myself. My reasoning goes as follows: I had already invested countless hours preparing and studying for whatever assessment is ahead of me and often sacrificed “me time” in the hopes of understanding material better or finishing up a problem set. It just makes sense that on the morning of my assessment that I would also spend

some time increasing my confidence. Making myself look cute would be the equivalent of giving myself a small pat on the back. I’ve already invested so much time in preparing myself content-wise, that it just makes sense to do the same for how I visually present myself. You know that feeling of happiness when you find *the* outfit? When you put effort into doing your makeup and think to yourself “Damn, I look good today. I hope I run into people I know so they can see how good I look?” That slight boost of confidence and energy can definitely play a small (but crucial) factor in the way I present myself and perceive different solutions to problems in my life. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good about yourself, you have that extra boost of confidence that’ll make you perceive that you’re performing better. So now I’m turning it to you! Send us your favourite fits that make you feel confident through filling out the submission form on our website or email it to overachievereditorial@gmail.com. We’d love to share them as inspo for our audience on our Instagram story <3

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Tiffany Sentosa is a junior studying at Barnard College, Columbia University. She is passionate about e-commerce, beauty, and architecture. Her dream is to rebuild Indonesia’s marginalized communities through the uplifting of their voices and strengthening their economies. Introduce yourself! I’m Tiffany Sentosa, and I’m from Indonesia. I currently go to Barnard College at Columbia University New York. I major in Architecture and Economics with a minor in Art History. Through this, I am interested in Indonesian urban design and political economy. My goal in life is to design sustainable cities that will stimulate the economy while still maintaining local heritage and culture. As a proud citizen of Indonesia, I’m fortunate to grow up in a country with such diverse cultures. Often, simply by traveling or meeting new people around my country, I am constantly inspired by new designs that are deeply rooted in Indonesian culture. What exactly is Hungry Bears? My sister and I run a baking business that sells a variety of baked goods for charity. From cronuts to beignets, we bring foreign tastes to our city. We are still running the business to further help our community. What inspired you to start Hungry Bears? After coming back from the States due to COVID-19, my sister and I realized that our country’s economy and welfare system cannot sustain and support the needs of the less fortunate. Through this, we created a food business that would donate all of its proceeds to the people most affected by the economic repercussions of COVID-19. We combined our love for baking with our pas-

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sion for the community. Through this small venture, we were able to donate over 2,000kgs of rice and other necessities to our local community. How do you think the COVID-19 pandemic has most greatly affected Indonesia? How do you think Indonesia is going to recover? The COVID-19 pandemic has greatly affected our city. Closures and social distancing procedures have closed many small businesses down, usually leaving employees without jobs and unable to provide for themselves or their families. Our government did not create regulations or welfare systems to combat this devastating recession. Since the city is without strict protocols and guidelines to fight this virus, it seems like the pandemic is going to last a long time. When I go out for appointments, often workers confide in me about how worried they are about their jobs and how if another quarantine period is in place, they may not even have enough to feed themselves. I think Indonesia is going to recover very slowly. Restrictions are not strict enough to encourage people to stay at home. Malls, restaurants, even bars are still open even though the COVID-19 virus is spreading more and more and infecting more people. If this continues, the recession is going to take a lot longer to recover from.

Your business is a nonprofit; how did you see it helping the Indonesian population during COVID-19? Is the result what you hoped it would be? With the profits from our small business, we were able to donate more than 2,000kgs of rice to our local community. We teamed up with local representatives (people who are responsible for the community) to distribute the goods. My sister and I focused on communities with the lowest income to help those who are struggling the most. I hope, in the future, we can make more contributions to help those around us. How have you kept yourself busy during COVID-19? Surprisingly, the pandemic has kept me fairly busy. I created 3 more small businesses surrounding food and self-care that have done fairly well. Hungry Bears has done more than help others; our small business venture has taught me many things about starting a business and gave me a passion for food and baking. What would be your advice for those who want to help their communities but do not know where to start? When I started this business, I was worried that my contributions wouldn’t be large enough to make a difference. However, through time, I understood that any contribution, however big or small, can make a huge difference in someone’s life. How long did it take for you to come up with the idea and product before you were selling? It actually didn’t take long for us to begin this venture! My sister and I laugh about this all the time. We planned

“Through time, I understood that any contribution, however big or small, can make a huge difference in someone’s life.” it out in one night, started branding everything, and then launched the next morning! We were overwhelmed and grateful for all the support we had from our friends and family, and was able to grow our business and reach more people. Would you ever go on another business venture like this one again? Definitely! My father and I are planning to start a nonprofit to rebuild homes. Over the years, many communities have suffered due to climate change. The change in our climate has resulted in increased natural disasters such as monsoons, flooding, etc. Many Indonesian citizens still live in informal settlements, often in houses that don’t have strong enough foundations to be resilient to these disasters. I also opened a gelateria that will donate its profits to help victims of the floods in Kalimantan and the recent earthquake in Majene, Sulawesi. OM.

Each issue we feature pieces of prose and poetry from Asian women and non-binary writers around the world. Here are this issue’s pieces!

“she.” by Sabina Khan Heir of overlords past Made through blood and bone, a kingdom meant to last by princes formed from a common mold. lone Venus shines, deformed lightning strikes at Her feet and through a crack performed steps in and cracks neat. No longer tethered, She, the Heir, is now feathered.

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“Why do I write, you ask?” by Lily Low IG: @samina2005.2020 17 year old me was asked “Why do you write?” I write, For the things I find inspiration from but I am unable to express so in that moment For the emotions trapped within me, unable to go beyond my suppression For the things I find that I am too afraid to speak of our loud For everything in-between that I go through Giving a voice for what the people I love go through Searching to speak of the things this world goes through All in all, I write for the cause I write to comfort I write for comfort I write for us I write of brighter days, to brighter days

trying to figure out I write For my future self

And I write For me

Whenever I feel something This is where I go So that one day I’ll go over these words I’ve written And I would be able to immerse myself Back into this very headspace To see how far I’ve come To see if I’m where I want to be

I write for the me who was an avid dreamer of many things I write for the me who was doe-eyed and naïve I write for the parts of me that I have lost I write for the parts of me that I am still

If you are still finding Searching Seeking For what sets your soul ablaze Like a moth drawn to a flame Your happiness and your light will come You will get there Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow But somehow Someday Some-way You’ll look back to these very words And truly understand 23 year old me was asked “Why do you write?” This is still why Why I wrote And why I write

“Lola Rosa” by Joan Marshall-Missiye I was eleven when you let me go, I crossed an ocean to a foreign land. I did not understand. Maybe you knew then That you would not see me again So you held my face in your small, rough hands With a thousand lines That tell a thousand stories Of a century of revolution Of change and unrest Of work in the fields under a punishing sun Of washing and rinsing Clothes and tears and blood In the rivers of your childhood That you left behind so swiftly, too quickly. Your fading eyes gazed into mine And you planted a kiss on my cheek – chubby and soft Untouched by fists nor sticks. You were proud of that, That I would not feel the blows and cuts You hid from me but I saw the scars. And the broken bones that bent your body. You did not tell those stories because the years were far away now, But the tears I have seen falling On quiet mornings The sun rising over the rice fields Told me as much. The trauma came in bursts of rage.

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Nobody understood why I would give my child your name But it has always been your name. Because I saw you cross the meadow To borrow a cup of sugar When the cabinet was empty To make my favorite rice pudding Just to make me smile through the fever I was fighting. Because you took the skirt that was pinching my waist And you removed the elastic from your own handmade skirt to add onto mine Telling me I was growing too fast. Because you took my twisted ankle and set it right with oil and water and your healing incantations. Because you chewed the guava leaves that stopped the bleeding of my cut hand. You are going to America, you told me. You will have all the clothes and all the food and all the medicine you want. America where I was told I did not belong. America where they say there is freedom. America where you fight for everything you have. It is the same, I wrote to you. When they told me you were gone, I already knew. You disappeared and I folded you inside my heart. So I can fight and heal and love for you.

“Missing Shadow, Broken Mirror” by Samina Parveen IG: @samina2005.2020 If we repeat something again and again and again It’s value decreases. swallow the truth with sugar coat, it seeps into the body radiating it the poison, hollowed every bone. crushing every cell to ashes. I was told that I am not good I am not good I am not good I believed. I buried my innocence in a cascade Swallowed my past life, burnt my veiling dreams

Scan here to listen to Parveen perform this piece.

If we repeat something again and again and again We start believing it’s true. I was told to do what others do. I did. I did. Seriously I did? I believed. Evacuated my castle, crushing the paper boats Tore the sweater I weaved If we repeat something again and again and again It affects your mind, hostage of glass chamber of floating restrictions you don’t know who imposed, you are compelled to follow. Compromising something for no one. I was told that differences existed from birth I wasn’t born with my thoughts. You shaped the pot, made it half hollow. When consciousness entered there, it was unnourished, scattered, but it was imperative. Creativity peeped rose from its grave. I tried to light a match in the rain, it didn’t work. Ambitious creativity survived, incarnation came alive If we repeat something again and again and again It changes our lives. Mind your words. I collected the shattered glasses, unlocked my castle, threw away the veil, built paper boats, wove my sweater. And now I don’t believe what whispers birds tell, I should follow the screams of my heart Again and again and again I won’t repeat.

Citra Benaanzdiacrtivist

a writer of Tis Citra Benazir is esia. Founder n o d In a, rt ka from Ja lunteers. space for all vo The Lyfe, a safe ction of ure Girls, a colle as le P f o r o th u A one’s that recounts gs n ti ri w al n perso tor of ood. Co-Direc h an m o w f o journey rta. Hollaback! Jaka

cate of an active advo n ee b as h e h body S x positivity and se , ts gh ri ’s en love. wom ealth and self h l ta en m y, it neutral icates her erself, she ded As a survivor h xual asing stories of se ic vo in sm vi ti ac silence , breaking the ce n le o vi d an sault ent, se and harassm on sexual abu s to g the awarenes certainly raisin the people.

her on You can follow thearticInstagram at @ elyfe and benazir, @tis.th s_. Along @pleasuregirl er writwith viewing h .com/@ ing at medium ir thearticbenaz

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Each issue we feature some of our re ad women and non-binary individuals ar ers to hi o u nd g the w hlight or l d t h e d Here . iver are t sity hes and e iss ue’s sto Ove ri e so rac hie fA ver sia s! n

Samina

Samina is fro m India. Curr ently living in 10. She think KSA and stu s writing is a dying in clas n expression a that they des s nd gives eve erve. She wo ry one a voice uld love to m world. In her ake a change free time, sh in this e likes to pla short films, a y the piano, m nd reading. aking She believes is like healin that writing p g. She loves oetry imagery as it details of ou displays intric r surroundin a te gs capturing its essence. She has pub lished her pie ces in variou like Ice Lolly s magazines Review, Pott e d Purple, In th Blog, All Ears e Write India, Bloom Magazine, an publications d coming up. S has many he has loves poems and b spoken word elieves that it has the powe hearts, and s r to touch he has partic ipated in You Poetry Recit th Magazine ation Event. She has got featured on W her interview rite the Worl s d Blog and P is the graphic rose. She designer for Star-Gazette zine. Her Ins Magatagram is @s amina2005.2 020

“TAKE MY BREATH AWAY” by Zarnain Hussain IG: @zartangle/@your.senpai.z About two months ago today, Sitting on the hospital bed with nothing to say, I kept asking myself why? The only thought that hovered my mind, was to die! Doctor said “Not to worry anymore, You’ll be better than before.” All I kept looking was at the floor, then at the door… The darkness was too blinding, with the thoughts colliding, the will to live or the urge to die… I couldn’t talk about it with friends or even just cry. The thought…the overwhelming thought, Sadness was all that it brought. It takes my breath away, whenever it decides to stay. Is it ever going to end, or people just care to pretend? I thought of talking to a friend sometime, but I end up thinking that it’s all just a crime. Claustrophobic is what I feel being happy and free, is it even real? I try so hard to make it go away, but it keeps on waiting for me every day. I try, I try to do the things I love, yet these thoughts keep hovering above.

Is there no place of peace for me to find? Or this is the life god has designed. All I try to do is let go of it, trying to live the life, which I had knit, piece by piece, bit by bit. Living a better life is what I tried to commit. Days go by, trying to live a better life, Resisting the urges of picking up the knife. I tried, I tried to do the things I love, but my trying was never enough. Doctor said, “you need to be happy to heal”, little did he know the things that I used to feel. It crushes my bones, ruins my soul, I tried to hold on but I lost control. People said to do the things that brings you peace, the pain you have needs to be released, They say that I acted like I was possessed, little did they know that I was depressed. I was caught in the darkness, I was in pain, the kind of traumas I couldn’t explain. the smiling happy face that I had to maintain, all this pretending was overwhelming for my brain. For I had to be strong, had to pretend, when all along I knew it would never end. I had to be happy and free from stress, because all people cared about was my progress… Because all people care about is my progress!

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“hidden stars” by Swati Agarwal Interesting, how they’d never know who we are Hiding in the shadows Asking stellar questions, and sometimes dumb too They would never know that we were stars of our universe Answering, instead of asking Understanding, instead of demanding We looked at it as fun, now all we see is a compulsory take-or-leave, stressful and no longer an education We have the brains and can even find the time But the mind wanders to only adventurous places Places that ignite curiosity, not instill boredom Now we just play dumb We have been at it for too long, and we just want out We do it all, stay quiet through it all While our brains explode silently urging the soul, the mind, the body to find refuge elsewhere, somewhere out of the ordinary Afterall, they never recognized that we were the stars sitting in the front seats of our show

“Hineni (Here I Am)” by Meorah Ha-Me’ir My ruach is from a land faraway from where I was born. I feel it when I breathe— blood rushing through my veins. I am a native and a stranger, in a land I call my own. My nefesh dwells in Babylon. My neshama is in Zion. But in the Hermit Kingdom, my ruach feels still. It breathes and I breathe. It calls and I hear. In the land of my fathers, I claim the ruach of my mothers. “Ayeka?” He calls. Hineni. Hineni.

Scan here to listen to HaMe’ir perform this piece.

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“Sisterhood” by Marian Koshiba I won’t be your role model Speak smooth and peacefully Laugh low, act discretely Match your expectation All for your satisfaction. I don’t look like everyone else But I am not exotic either Available for your fetishization Waiting for your dissection To tell if I am good enough. I am bigger than myself My voice tells stories Beyond my own suffering It bears all the dreams buried It carries the screams silenced It brings all our power ignored. My soul evokes our glories Igniting all my sisters’ chants Uniting our hearts in desires And actions for a world to change Pursuing this new era that respects. So look into my eyes and see the flames All this energy can’t be restrained It’s a matter of time to our wishes become a reality that remains.

Jenny Wang Interview with

Written by Kate Anderson-Song

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Dr. Jenny Wang is a Taiwanese-American clinical psychologist and national speaker on Asian-American mental health and racial trauma in the Asian-American community. Her work focuses on the intersection of Asian American identity, mental health, and social justice. She has a private practice in Houston, Texas, where she supports self-identified women through transitions across the lifespan. She specializes in working with medical and corporate professionals, racial identity and trauma work, and immigrant and Asian diaspora mental health. Social profiles: Instagram: @asiansformentalhealth Website: www.jennywangphd.com

Introduce yourself! My name is Jenny Wang. I’m a 1.5 generation, Taiwanese American clinical psychologist. I am passionate about destigmatizing mental health care for Asian Americans and Asian diaspora. How and why did you begin @AsiansforMentalHealth? I was in bed one night scrolling through Instagram and wondering to myself why there were no accounts that focus on Asian mental health. I searched the hashtag #asianmentalhealth and found less than 100 posts. It was disheartening to see the erasure of the Asian American experience even within a field that I had spent years training in and absolutely loved. In that frustration, @ asiansformentalhealth was born. My initial goal for the account was to build out an Asian American therapist directory. There was no centralized way or place for Asians to seek out culturally-relevant mental health care from Asian mental health professionals. Through this account, I started connecting with other Asian American mental health professionals and asking them to complete a form to be included in the directory. I was literally DM’ing

multiple providers a day and just asking them to complete the form. This is how the Asian, Pacific Islander, and South Asian American therapist directory was born. The second goal for the account was to start talking about mental health from an Asian American and diaspora lens. There were so few conversations about how Asian diaspora identity is inextricably linked to our mental health and how we see ourselves and the world. So, the posts started off really simple. “The Model Minority Myth hurts us all” and “Racism is a threat to mental health” were some of my first posts. Over time, I have learned how to flush out more of these ideas on this platform to break down the complexity and nuance that we experience as Asian Americans. What brought you to psychology? How and why did you choose this path? Honestly, my path to psychology came from being miserable studying accounting, which was what I was supposed to “become.” Although I excelled academically in business courses and it was the logical, practical option that my immigrant parents supported, I craved hu

man contact and connection. My then boyfriend, now husband, was a liberal arts major and always spoke about how amazing his psychology and philosophy courses were and encouraged me to take Psych 101. Since I couldn’t get the specific professor that he had unless I took it at night, I took Psych 101 my junior year at night and it changed my life. Once I found psychology, I realized that this was my calling. There was nothing that was going to deter me from becoming a psychologist. (Even the famous white male psychology professor who told me I would never get into a PhD psychology program because I was an “alternative student” being a business and psychology major. I ended up getting into 3 PhD psychology programs.) Honestly, I could not believe there was a field dedicated to helping people with human connection and understanding. I was also struck by how few Asian Americans were full professors or even assistant professors in this field, at a major public university. The lack of representation made me even more motivated to pursue this field. I think I have spent my entire career searching and hoping for a psychologist mentor who looked similar to me. Now, I hope that I can be the person that I never found for other aspiring mental health professionals. The hardest part was coming to terms with the fact that my parents had no idea this profession existed and that it could be a viable career option. Although I wish I had discovered psychology earlier in college, I have no regrets on how I got here and the business degree has definitely come in handy as a practice owner. Your website states that your practice

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caters “exclusively to the psychological needs of women” - why did you decide to focus on this area? What is unique about how you approach this work? This was something that evolved out of becoming a mother and seeing the difficulties that many American mothers face. The pressure to appear perfect while working full time and shouldering much of the childcare is daunting. I also took time off from work to support my husband’s career and focus on caring for our young children. I witnessed the internal fear and panic and the unlearning that was necessary to return to the workforce after several years off. My mother often says, “A woman lives many different lives over the course of her lifetime.” I believe this is absolutely true and wanted to focus on helping other women through those transitions because I know firsthand how debilitating the fear of failure can be when trying to pursue our dreams. I have always prioritized female empowerment and fought against patriarchal cultural values that Asian culture upholds. I am also trying to raise a strong and independent daughter. This focus allows me to hone my skill set and focus on a niche that resonated with me, as an Asian American and woman. How has this time of COVID-19 affected you and your work? How have you been coping? Logistically, the shift from in-person sessions to virtual therapy was more seamless than I thought it would be. I do long to be in the physical presence of my clients, but I also realize that this is the best option for us right now. I am also extremely grateful that I am in a profession in which virtual is even an option.

Internally, 2020 was the hardest year of my life. Not just due to the pandemic, but because of some personal family issues that resulted in a lot of heaviness to carry. That being said, it was also the year in which I saw my community, friends, and family show up in a huge way. Without our year of crisis, we would have never seen how loved we are by our community. If we are strong all the time, we never receive the gift of being vulnerable and supported. From a clinical perspective, on the one hand, it has been an extremely difficult season. There is a collective trauma that all mental health professionals have had to shoulder while supporting our clients through the same trauma. It has been crucial for me to be in my own therapeutic work so that I can show up well for my clients. On the other hand, sitting with clients gave me so much life and reminded me that hope and resilience could always be found even on the hardest days. Although they had no idea, it was my clients who gifted me with inspiration and strength during the hardest year of my life. Each time I was able to witness them being courageous, I was reminded that I could do the same. When they felt deeply, it reminded me to feel and grieve deeply. We never talk about how much clients give back to their therapists simply by being themselves and human. But truly my work gave me strength even during the darkest days. What are the biggest issues you notice Asian women face? Do you have any advice for these issues? My practice is mostly Asian American or women of color at this point. We must acknowledge that Asian Americans are not a monolith and so it would be re-

“I think I have spent my entire career searching and hoping for a psychologist mentor who looked similar to me. Now, I hope that I can be the person that I never found for other aspiring mental health professionals.” ductive to say that we all have the same experiences. But I have noticed several themes that emerge in the Asian American clients in my practice which include: Strong pull towards perfection, difficulties in setting boundaries, struggles with understanding their own needs, complexities in navigating immigrant parents and their own nuclear families, etc. These are not unique to just the Asian American community either. Many of these themes resonate with children of immigrants from all cultures. My first piece of advice is to see a therapist if you can afford it. I’m biased, of course, but I do believe in the power of being in the presence of a warm, affirming trained professional who can help you look at unresolved pain or hurt and heal. But I also realize that talk therapy is not for everyone and is not accessible to everyone due to cost. If that is the case, I would recommend journaling, reading books on mental health and understanding emotions and communication.

I offer 3 specific practices to start doing today: 1. Say no. Start saying no to things that you don’t have the time, energy or desire for. You are entitled to say no even if you have the time, but no energy or desire to do something. 2. Have an opinion. When your partner or friend asks you what you want for dinner, have an opinion. Don’t be the yes person who just goes with what everyone around you wants. 3. Make space to listen to your emotions. Many Asian Americans were never taught emotional literacy skills by our parents. Instead, we often received the message that emotions are unruly, disrespectful, and disruptive. So we often struggle to understand, express, and harness the power of our emotions. The more can you learn about the “message” of what your emotions are trying to tell you, the better off you will be in your relationships, mental health, decision making, etc. Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, PhD is a great book for this. What does self care mean to you? How do you take care of yourself? I run. I must run 2-3 times a week otherwise I cannot function well. The exercise is the primary way in which stress gets processed out of my body and it is foolproof for me. When I don’t prioritize my exercise, I get anxiety, discontentment, perfectionistic, judgmental, and critical. All things I do not want to subject my husband and kids to. So I run for them and for me. I also see a therapist. I have always believed that great therapists have their own therapists. As a psychologist, I

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“My mother often says, ‘A woman lives many different lives over the course of her lifetime.’ I believe this is absolutely true and wanted to focus on helping other women through those transitions because I know firsthand how debilitating the fear of failure can be when trying to pursue our dreams. ” have committed myself to lifelong learning. I am always learning and the stack of books next to my bed just keeps growing. I’m not sure if I will ever finish them in my lifetime, but I just keep trying. The more I learn about myself and how I see the world, the better I am as a mother, wife, psychologist, daughter, friend and human being. Keep learning. Here are some rapid-fire questions: Your go-to coffee shop order? Hot cafe latte or matcha latte. Favorite color? Blue. Any hidden talents or quirks? I am a boss at removing sticker labels.

Ultimate comfort food? My mom’s zhong zi (glutinous rice triangle). What has been the highlight of your day today? Sitting with clients. What is upcoming for you and how can people connect with you? For now, one of the biggest endeavors is writing a book on Asian American/ immigrant mental health. I remain committed to my clients, corporate speaking engagements, and supporting the Asian American community, as we move towards more positive collective mental health and a racial reckoning that is happening within our community right now. People can find me at @asiansformentalhealth on Instagram or my professional website: www.jennywangphd. com. OM.

“kiss me thru the phone” by Kristel Bugayong // @kristelbugayong Medium: digital

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“Heartstrings” by Isabelle Shi // @shisabelle.art Medium: collage with ink

the light at the end of the tunnel written by Divya Chhotani

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author’s note: relationships can be seen as a garden. It’s where each relationship in your life is a flower and you’re the gardener with the tools to nurture and grow each relationship. the soil can be seen as a sort of foundational base for things to grow and mature at their own pace. if it’s a friendship or a relationship it’s up to each one of us whether we want to grow and essentially “water” these relationships to see it blossom or wither until a new season comes along. It’s up to you to figure out what you want and what you stand for and for who matches with your values or even who brings you joy. It’s a huge thing when it comes to friendship to be able to hear your friends out and to respect them and to uplift them during hard times instead of neglect or jealousy settling in. to me friendships are something very precious where your friends are like gold and you must protect them and surround them with a loving heart and environment. when it comes to relationships, it’s unfortunate that many people get into toxic relationships and cycles, I’ve been in my own relationship that was detrimental to my mental health and always left me questioning my worth and if I was worthy of love and to be loved. My girlfriend right now really changed that for me. She supports me even when things are bad and when things don’t go my way she’s always supportive and she shows me every single day how loved I am and to enjoy every single moment and to just be alive. She strengthens me and builds me up and is an amazing support system for me. Even though fights are something inevitable in relationships, sometimes the weather is rainy too and it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but we make the most of it. Communication is really key in friendships and relationships to keep the ship afloat even in its darkest hours. I wrote this poem how about healthy relationships and healthy relationships with oneself and yes, this is dedicated to her... my always and forever.

Scan here to listen to the light at the end of the tunnel playlist

it’s in the way she walks and in the way she talks the way the words just spill out of her mouth like honey the way she paints every syllable with her sweet voice making me melt into a million pieces it’s the way that she could be halfway across the world and I know that my morning starts with her and how she’s my goodnight how she holds my hand and dances in my mind doing pirouettes and making my head spin round and round, intoxicated by her perfume and her luscious lips it’s the way she calms me down whenever I feel like I’m a deadly typhoon of emotions ready to spill my tears and the way she lets me be myself helping me break through barriers and helping me undo all my past wrongdoings and mistakes, realizing that she’s the one she’s my happy even when things aren’t going the way I want them to go “thing’s aren’t always meant to work out” “thing’s change but you’re stronger than this” the words I’ve been dying to hear from someone who loves and adores me when all I’ve ever known has been betrayal and two-sided stories the only person who accepts my flaws and learned my past not to hurt me to better understand what I need and how she can help me grow and flourish as a human being and member of society when we are far apart I wish she could be right next to me my sweet and beautiful little melody craving for her soft kisses and excitement silk duvets and ice cream sandwiches it’s like layers in our story but every single day it’s worth it so many pages in our story that I want to re-read every single day because I’m so enamored by the way she is how she scrunched her nose when she’s sleeping how she’s so carefree and loving how she embraces every stranger though she thinks she’s shy she’s one of the most social people I want to read every single one of her pages no matter if I’m halfway across the nation, I want to read her pages I want to support her on her worse days and be her rock or even bring in some humor and be her Patrick Star when all things go wrong at the end of the day I’ll sit with her and say “baby it’s okay that we didn’t have the best day but I promise that tomorrow is another day” it’s okay to be happy one day and sad the next it’s okay to feel like you don’t want to get out of bed one day and feel like you’re on cloud 9 the next day but for tonight you’re going to be mine singing our favorite songs that you introduced to me how I dream of holding you close to me and slow dancing with the kitchen light just the way that you’ve always wanted

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how I dreamt of all that and now I have the world in front of me even when my world is going out of control I know that you will be there to hold me if I ever fall and when I feel like I don’t want to see another day sometimes I battle with thoughts that get the best of me sometimes but I try my best to do the best that I can to stay afloat even though sometimes I would like to drift off into my own raft and be on my own but you seem to understand my silence better than anyone the thought of you leaving my life someday leaves me crying but you let me feel my emotions and let me be my true self even when I want to go my own way I know that you’ll pull me aside and sit me down and help me at the end of the day you help me see the light at the end of the tunnel shining like a galaxy and you’re my favorite star I’m thankful for all that you do for me and for how you are there I’m thankful for all the memories and for you holding me when I contemplated the light at the end of the tunnel and understanding my faith I just wanted to say thank you for being mine in this lifetime I’m glad we finally met in this one just like we did the last time heaven-sent my only you keep my secrets on your lips dripping like honey whenever you talk to me my sweet melody like a song my dreams turning to a reality with your hand in mine as we walk through time, so divine protecting me from the world shielding me with your words holding me forever and ever let me go free in your mind while I do my own dance spinning around and round a whirlwind romance through phone screens to real life honey, you’re mine through phone screens via facetime girl, I knew you’ve got to be mine in this lifetime and next I’ll protect you from the rest rock you to sleep on your darkest days play in the sand when we want an escapade rock you to sleep and hold you tight next to me you’re my baby and my sweetheart I promise we are right where we are supposed to be

“kiss me thru the phone” by Kristel Bugayong // @kristelbugayong Medium: digital

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“Heartstrings” by Isabelle Shi // @shisabelle.art Medium: collage with ink

Not Your Mother’s Asian Stereotype Written By Shreya Rajappa @shreyarajappa and @tiedyedforprideon on IG A high school student living in sunny California, Shreya Rajappa enjoys writing creative non-fiction and impassioned Op-Ed articles. She credits her intersectional identity as a bisexual, feminist young woman with Indian and Sri Lankan parents for her desire to become involved in journalism to represent others who share aspects of her identity and to bring awareness to social issues involving marginalized communities. In her free time, she watches movies, takes pictures, tie-dyes clothes, and plays basketball.

assive. Shy. Polite. Submissive. Innocent. These traits encapsulate the unfortunately long-standing lotus blossom stereotype Asian women have had forced upon them for decades. Our Asian mothers and their mothers before them were painted in this light against their will. However, our generation may not be. Why not, you ask? Because there’s a new Asian woman stereotype in town. Meet the “Asian Baby Girl” (aka. the ABG). Decked out in bold makeup, piercings, and tattoos, dressed to the nines in revealing clothing, likely only a bralette when they hit up clubs, in constant attendance at raves, and with aspirations that they work hard towards, ABGs are known to have the best of both worlds: beauty and brains. Sure, they have fun and are inseparable from their Juul, but they also earn top marks in school and have successful careers. This stereotype might seem ideal—fun, confident, rebellious, AND smart? However, in reality, the ABG stereotype, creating a white-washed persona, for example, hurts Asian women just as much as prior ones. Created from within the community, the ABG stereotype differs from previous Asian ones. In fact, this stereotype has only been circulating for the past decade. Most outside of the Asian com-

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munity are wholly unaware of this term. A group of Asian students in Melbourne, Australia created a Facebook group called “subtle Asian traits” to casually discuss their Asian-Australian experiences, but their group became an internet sensation and a global online group for Asians. It was in this Facebook group that the label, ABG, rose in popularity. However, it was actually developed decades before. In the 90s, Asian young women in big cities in New York and New Jersey had only two options: adopt a nerdy reputation or hang out with the wannabe gangsters in Chinatown. Those who opted to join gangs ended up being called “Asian Baby Gangsters” or ABGs, the first appearance of this acronym in relation to stereotypes about Asian women. While the term obviously changed over time, the concept, rebellious Asian women who party at clubs and raves, stayed the same. Often compared to the “Valley Girl” stereotype, the ABG stereotype has adopted far too many elements of western culture for this negative aspect to be overlooked. Dyeing their long hair blonde or in a blonde ombre, rarely going out in public without green contact lenses and false eyelashes, ABGs follow Western beauty standards, essentially promoting the

idea of being “as white as possible.” Thus, becoming an ABG just becomes another disguise for suppressing one’s own differences because of internalized anti-Asian racism and not wanting to look different from the people around us. Essentially, it feels like another form of colonization, but this time it’s our looks being modified to appeal to the white population. Having devastating consequences for the self-esteem and self-love of Asian girls, this enforcement of the Western beauty standard prevents Asian women from being proud of their distinctly beautiful Asian features. As a young, South-Asian girl, I used to want a perkier, button nose like my white classmates, so I would press my finger against the fleshy end of my nose in an attempt to bend it backward. After struggling with acceptance for years, I now love my long, big nose, which is why it’s heartbreaking to watch as my fellow Asian Americans don white features just as I tried to do when I was younger and ashamed of my differences. We should be proud of our dark eyes, glossy black hair, and all other traits passed down through our family trees. This stereotype directly blocks Asian women from obtaining cultural pride. Another harmful effect of the ABG stereotype is that it doesn’t lead to an overall increase in self-confidence for Asian women, instead reducing it. Or at least based on its portrayal on the television screen. It seems that Hollywood has found out about the ABG stereotype and is shouting this discovery from the rooftops with… drumroll please… the badass Asian girl with a brightly colored streak in her hair. Tina Cohen-Chang from Glee.

Gogo Tomago from Big Hero 6. Yukio from Deadpool 2. What do these characters have in common? They’re all cool, confident, interesting Asian women (good so far!) with a blue or purple hairstreak (and there’s the clincher). These characters embody the ABG stereotype in mainstream media, where this term is a rare sight to behold. Nevertheless, this stereotype of a rebellious and confident Asian girl contrasts every traditional value their parents tried to instill in them, such as an aversion towards dyed hair, so it is being shown here even if the term isn’t in use. In 2017, Anne Shi described the issue with this stereotype best when she explained that film and television producers in the West seem to think that they need to give the “edgy” Asian woman a hairstreak to differentiate her from the subservient lotus blossom Asian woman commonly depicted in media. Insulting to the max for Asian women everywhere, it feels like Hollywood sees and perpetuates the lotus blossom stereotype as standard and all encompassing for Asian women by making the ABG stereotype into an Asian girl who is “not like the other Asian girls.” Making them out to be rare oddities, this marginalizes confident, rebellious Asian women who live in the real world. Additionally, this makes it seem like Asian women can’t be interesting just as they are, that they have to try their best to stand out from other Asian women in order to be of any value. Of course, this isn’t true, which is why an extreme stereotype like the ABG one can be harmful to Asian women who don’t identify with this stereotype, damaging their sense of identity. Furthermore, even those who do

“No stereotype will ever give Asian women what they deserve: just to be allowed to exist without having labels slapped onto them.”

feel like and personify ABGs receive the short end of the stick with how they’re perceived by others both within the Asian community and outside of it. Inside the Asian community, ABGs have wrought the same blowback as the “basic white girl” in western society. Even though ABGs drink boba instead of Starbucks, the staple “basic white girl” beverage, both labels have faced ridicule from their respective communities. There’s a misplaced sense of pride for some Asian women that they’re not ABGs, demonstrating how this stereotype has a reputation as being vapid. Even though ABGs tend to be studious and intelligent, their good looks and confidence have been unfairly correlated with a lack of book smarts. This is a result of the intersection between sexism and anti-Asian racism. The Asian community has often been seen as monolithic by those outside of it. It seems like the rest of the world thinks it’s impossible for Asian women, in this case, to have more than just one set of traits: to be both outgoing and academic, both fun and focused on their futures. Sexism explains how the patriarchy has enforced this false notion of femininity to equal a lack of brains. ABGs are known to be strongly in touch with their femininity, as can be seen from their use of bold makeup and false eyelashes, for example, and their dismissal as academically successful women demonstrates that sexist idea. No stereotype will ever give Asian women what they deserve: just to be allowed to exist without having labels slapped onto them. Multifaceted with varied personalities and interests like the women of every ethnicity, Asian women should never be forced into a box, and that’s what these stereotypes are attempting to do. We’ve faced the lotus blossom stereotype for years, being hypersexualized and overly dominated by white men. Now that we have a stereotype on the opposite side of the spectrum,

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we face the same number of issues, now having our culture watered down in favor of a white-washed persona, being burdened with the duty of making ourselves interesting for others rather than simply living for ourselves, and still being seen as less than we truly are. A dichotomy is no better than a monolith. Even worse, this second Asian stereotype was created and then discredited by the same Asian community that is harmed by it. Adding more stereotypes and boxes no one will fit into helps nobody; we must dismantle all stereotypes and simply let Asian women be. They’re all worthy of love, respect, and acceptance as they are. OM.

“Overcrowded” by Alice P. Sari // @wonderlander20 Medium: collage on paper

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“untitled” by Koyuki Aker // @skye.acre Medium: Gouache and Indian ink on canvas

Living with an Anxiety Disorder Written By Nandini Trivedi @yogawithdini on IG A New York Native, Nandini attended the Fashion Institute of Technology where she got her degree in marketing. After working in healthcare PR for a few years she ventured out to start her own yoga business. She now teaches Yoga classes to adults, kids, seniors and autistic individuals on Long Island.

iving with an anxiety disorder has been absolutely debilitating at times and it never went away. I just learned to cope with it. When I was eighteen years old, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I had no idea what it meant at the time but what I did know was that the symptoms were extremely uncomfortable and scary. It was my first semester away at college, and I was living in the big city: Manhattan. With a city as big as New York comes a lot of crazy, unbalanced energy. This was a hard adjustment for me to handle as a highly sensitive person because I picked up on everything around me from the sounds to the culture known as the “fast life” and the overall social scene being so different than the one I knew growing up in a sheltered Long Island town. I started to have severe panic attacks every single night as I got into bed. My heart would race as if a tiger was chasing me. Butterflies the size of my head fluttered through my stomach and not to mention the sensation of pins and needles in my hands and feet. I had no idea what was going on, but I ignored it for a few months because I thought it was from stress and adjusting to a new lifestyle away from home. I also didn’t want to

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tell my parents because it would hurt my ego knowing that I wasn’t able to handle being away at college and taking care of myself. I knew that my parents would be very supportive if I did tell them, but this was more about my fear of being seen as a failure. The ego loves to be right. I knew that I wanted to prove to myself and my family that I would be ok living on my own being independent and if I told them about my panic attacks, they would be very worried and have me move back home. Well, what I then learned is that “what we resist, persists.” These words hold so much truth and they have manifested in my life ten times over whether I wanted them to or not. From having to face certain lessons in my career, learning to be emotionally independent to dealing with my shortcomings in relationships. I then moved home to my parents’ house after my first semester and the panic attacks continued. They got so severe that I would literally feel my body numbing and had to put ice on myself to essentially shock my body back to the present. After months of suffering, I knew I needed help and had to address this demon. I sought talk-therapy with a mental health counselor who specialized in treating Anxiety Disorder. She was incredible

and gave me the tools I needed to help my body to relax during a panic attack which kept the symptoms from getting worse. From various breathing methods, to selftalk and guided meditation videos, I was able to put a halt to those awful attacks within two months. Talk therapy allowed me an outlet to speak to someone that didn’t have an attachment to the emotions and situations in my life such as a family member or friend would. Therefore, I was able to share everything openly without being afraid of what would be perceived on the other end since I wasn’t being judged or criticized. My therapist allowed me to realize that panic attacks were not dangerous and that I wouldn’t pass out from them or end up in the hospital. This was my biggest fear. When my mind thought of these ideas when having the attack it made all the symptoms worse and out of control where I didn’t feel like I was in my body. Using the tool of self-talk that I learned in therapy known as “disputing the negative messages” allowed me to write down the scary thought I was having and then dispute that with something more practical and positive. For example, if I was telling myself “Oh my god, what if I have a panic attack while I’m in class and I become so nauseous I pass out?” Yes that’s very scary and it would

likely bring on the symptoms. To dispute that message to make it more positive, I would say, “so what if I have a panic attack, I know what it is now and it’s not dangerous. All I will do is breathe through it and know that it will pass. Nothing bad can happen to me.” Doing this over and over eventually rewires our nervous system giving our brain the ability to change its thought patterns and in turn keeping the anxiety at bay. The thing with tools is that they take practice. We have to be open to using them. When we don’t use our tools, there likely won’t be a big change in the way we feel because we aren’t training our nervous system to learn a new way of functioning. Living with anxiety can be hard but also beautiful because as highly sensitive people, we experience joy ten times more just as we experience our pain at a heightened state. OM.

“Well, what I then learned is that ‘What we resist, persists.’ These words hold so much truth and they have manifested in my life ten times over whether I wanted them to or not. From having to face certain lessons in my career, learning to be emotionally independent to dealing with my shortcomings in relationships.”

Keilani Elizabeth Rose A lover of storytelling, an advocate for Mother Nature, and a modern-day renaissance girl - Keilani Elizabeth Rose is an award-winning, classically trained actor and dancer, a model & spokesperson for companies including Walt Disney, Olay & Sportchek, and a popular radio & nightclub DJ. In film and television, she has recently been featured on the hit shows, Once Upon a Time, Lucifer, Six, A Series of Unfortunate Events & The Magicians. She joined the leading cast in her most recent feature film projects, The Sinners and Within The Silence which are set for world premiere in 2020. Keilani learned the craft of the turntables from the city’s OGs and is one of Vancouver’s newest female DJs. Holding residencies at many of the cities top spots. After enduring a tumultuous childhood with a tremendous foundation of community support, she now works on a variety of collaborative projects focused on giving back - Among those, a partnership with the Downtown Eastside Women’s Center following being Crowned Miss Asia Vancouver. As the oldest of three remarkably close sisters, descendants of a rich multi-cultural heritage, Keilani is dedicated to challenging and influencing the world to promote sustainable community, inclusion, and equality through creativity.

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Each issue we feature some of our r eade rs to n-binary individual o n d n a n e high m o w s n a a r i o s und t li gh A he w t th e di orld ver . He sity re a re t and hes st e is sue ories ’s O o ve f rac hie ve rs !

Marian Koshiba Marian Koshiba (@marian.koshiba) is Brazilian woman with Japanese ascendency. She Graduated from Law School at Universidade de São Paulo (USP), and after 3 years working in a law career she abandoned everything to be an entrepreneur in a travel startup. Marian also followed an artistic path in writing, singing and composing. Marian has as a Project called Asian Visibility, in which she interviews Asian individuals with different careers and backgrounds to break stereotypes and make other people’s IG feeds more diverse and Asian represented.

63 | Overachiever Magazine “Ariko’s Teapot” by Gina Ariko // @ginaariko Medium: oil paintings based on Gina’s family’s collection of Japanese pottery.

(L to R) “Blue Stripe Teapot”, “Sake Cup Case” by Gina Ariko // @ginaariko Medium: oil paintings based on Gina’s family’s collection of Japanese pottery.

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Lindsay BryanPodvin Interview with

Written by Charlotte Drummond

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Lindsay Bryan-Podvin is a biracial financial therapist, speaker, and Plutus-nominated author of the book “The Financial Anxiety Solution.” In her therapy practice, Mind Money Balance, she uses shame-free financial therapy to help people get their minds and money in balance. She’s expanded her services to help therapists with their money mindset, niching, and authentic marketing so they can include financial self-care in their self-care practices. She lives with her partner and their dog in Michigan. Instagram: @mindmoneybalance Youtube: Lindsay Bryan-Podvin Website: www.mindmoneybalance.com On Tuesday morning, February 9, I chatted over the phone with Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, the financial therapist behind the practice Mind Money Balance. Bryan-Podvin, 34, is a mixed Filipino-American from Michigan who founded Mind Money Balance in early winter of 2018 after she got her certificate in financial social work and her friends and family unanimously agreed on the name.

those in the middle class.

Mind Money Balance is an accessible way for people to gain advice that deals with the intersection between mental health and financial wellbeing. Bryan-Podvin takes the unconventional approach to advertising therapy by marketing the practice through social media platforms like Youtube and Instagram, hoping to normalize open conversations about money and the stress that it causes.

When Bryan-Podvin first meets new clients—whether they’re individuals, couples, or a mixed group of strangers—she likes to ask as many questions about their knowledge regarding money as possible. Questions that are all about their financial firsts like their first job, first credit card, the first time you took out a loan, first salary job, or the first time they realized they had to pay taxes. But also questions about how they talked about money growing up with money like if their parents thought it was rude to talk about money or in an open way if they learned about saving, and what their parents did with gifts of cash or checks.

“I combine the financial literacy side of money with the emotional and psychological side of money,” Bryan-Podvin says. “Most of my work is around working with couples and individuals in a traditional therapy setting with the focus on money and money mindset.” Bryan-Podvin brings up how money matters are challenging to get well-rounded advice on, especially for

“For everybody else in the middle who isn’t in poverty but isn’t independently wealthy, there’s not a good place to go,” Bryan-Podvin says. “It’s for the people who have more knowledge than the basics of how to make a budget, but they don’t necessarily need independent wealth management. I wanted to plug that gap.”

“The first session is really a history gathering session,” Bryan-Podvin says. “I start to get a sense of what a person’s earliest memories are with money...We know that our brains do the bulk of

their development in childhood, and it’s the same with money. Most financial psychologists say we’ve more or less decided what our relationship with money will be by the time we’re about seven or eight years old, which is why it’s so important to roll back the clock… [and] dig into what was going on in your household initially.” Bryan-Podvin understands that, especially in Western countries like the United States and Canada, there’s a stigma about talking about money openly. “We know that shame is a huge thing that comes up when people are working on their money,” Bryan-Podvin says. “[Giving clients] a sense that they’re not alone, that other people have thought those thoughts or had those feelings, and hopefully to start helping them understand that nobody’s inherently bad with money. It’s something we aren’t taught in most cases, and I believe that everybody can cultivate a healthy relationship with money—It just takes some time.” It’s especially difficult in Asian households specifically to openly discuss money matters but also to seek therapy in general. “In the Asian community, therapy is kind of something that you do privately and quietly. You don’t really talk about it,” Bryan-Podvin says. “So understanding that one in four adults in the United States is going to experience a mental health disorder at some point in their life and you don’t have to do it alone— you don’t have to do it quietly.” Although Bryan-Podvin’s biological father is Filipino, she grew up in an allwhite household—with a white mom

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“If we are on the path to learning how to love ourselves unconditionally, how is that possible to do fully when you’ve received messages since you were young that you should hide parts of who you are? ” who remarried a white man. As a woman of color in a predominantly white space, navigating identity can be difficult, especially through a mental health lens. “I think having that community of folks who understands what it’s like and who have been able to affirm me and say, ‘there’s no one way to be more or less Asian than somebody else,’ has been incredibly validating,” Bryan-Podvin says. “Even though I wasn’t raised in a Filipino household, I do believe that things are passed on to us from our ancestors. There is a long line of hardworking, hustling Filipinos that I come from.” Bryan-Podvin encourages Asian women and nonbinary folks who are unsure how to seek therapy to start by looking at the Asian mental health directory. If you type it into Google, you’ll find a list of clinicians who identify as Asian and/or feel competent in treating Asian folks. “There are Asian therapists out there, and you can find them,” Bryan-Podvin says. “[And if they’re non-Asian,] don’t

be afraid to ask what their cultural competence is in treating Filipinos or Southeast Asians or Chinese-Americans. Make the ask, and if they skirt the issue, they’re not a good fit for you. You don’t want to show up to therapy, hiding a part of yourself in American culture. We are already constantly reinforced to try and mold ourselves into a model of whiteness.” You can find Mind Money Balance Balance on their website (www.mindmoneybalance.com), where you can book group or one-on-one therapy sessions and consultations. You can also watch for updates from Mind Money Balance on Youtube and Instagram. Bryan-Podvin also hosts a podcast of the same name on Apple Podcasts. OM.

How Math Cost Me My Identity By Chase Fitzgerald @chase.fitz

A high school student living in sunny California, Shreya Rajappa enjoys writing creative non-fiction and impassioned Op-Ed articles. She credits her intersectional identity as a bisexual, feminist young woman with Indian and Sri Lankan parents for her desire to become involved in journalism to represent others who share aspects of her identity and to bring awareness to social issues involving marginalized communities. In her free time, she watches movies, takes pictures, tie-dyes clothes, and

‘ve never been very good at math, but the fundamentals of multiplication have inadvertently carved my understanding of racial identity. At the root of it, elementary school teachers are to blame for drilling the basic rules into my head, to that corner where instinct unintentionally overcomes intuition.

racism and discrimination. Positive people had a seat at the race table to share and to collaborate whereas negative people did not. Negativity meant the absence of privilege. Neg-

colour. I thought negative people should spend infinitely more time listening than talking. To me, whiteness was a negative thing, but the math here gets a bit tricky. You get two white parents and multiply them by each other, and that child is going to turn out positive; however, this is a false positive—false privilege—commonly referred to as white privilege. A false positive is negative. Mathematically, I’m not sure if that math holds up, but for the sake of my metaphor, let’s say it does. Positive equals privilege: privilege deserves a loud voice. Negative equals the absence of privilege: the absence of privilege deserves to listen. I’m not saying all white

“But by no means is half not whole and if we’re going to strive to fight racism, then every half counts.”

For the longest time, I believed racism could be solved through multiplication. In terms of numbers, to me, any person of colour (POC) was a positive thing. You multiply two POC parents, and their child turns out positive as well. Positivity was privilege, in the sense that positive people deserved a loud voice, which would be beneficial when arguing against

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ative people for me were those who didn’t deserve to contribute as much to race conversations, as they could never share the experiences of people of

people should be irrevocably silent at the race table, but they should at least be far quieter than people of colour. Here’s where I come in. My mom’s Chinese. My dad’s white. On paper, that’s one positive and one negative, and if we’re following the multiplication rules, that means I’m fundamentally a negative result. I found myself disqualifying myself from the race table for only being half POC. No one wants to hear the plights and experiences from someone who only half understands. I was apologetic for being white and ashamed it tainted my Chinese blood. I felt undeserving of my heritage because I wasn’t whole. I was an imposter on both sides of the spectrum—wholly unclaimed by society. I felt as if I wasn’t entitled to speak on the behalf of my Chinese race. I felt as if I didn’t deserve to feel offended by racism because my half experiences were unsubstantial to those who were wholly targeted. On government questionnaires, I never checked the “member of a visible minority” box. I personally disqualified myself from diversity scholarships because I thought I wasn’t deserving. In theory, this partially

holds up, because, on the scale of diversity, I’m low in comparison to fully diverse students. But I was the only Asian student in my program, in a university and city filled to the brim with white people. There are few people of colour who qualified for these scholarships, regardless of whether we counted biracial people or not. So, why did I feel so undeserving? Why did I forfeit my identity? For the longest time, I thought my whiteness cancelled colour out. But when one half destroys the other, what is left? White privilege was an inherent social advantage based solely on the colour of one’s skin. The by-product of that was the ability to always feel comfortable in that skin. Although I knew I had white privilege, I didn’t always feel comfortable. I felt I didn’t deserve to be called Chinese when I was. I felt I didn’t deserve to celebrate my culture when I was raised plunged in it. I felt I didn’t deserve to worship Chinese actors like Simu Liu and Gemma Chan when they portrayed characters just like my family members. This constant, relentless anger towards myself was emotionally exhausting, alienating and at worst times, inexplicably damaging.

This rejection of the self was cultivated by math because it taught me to see people as one of two things: positive or negative. I was so focused on the fundamentals that I convinced myself only whole numbers—and whole people—were variables in the race equation. I’ve learned now that math gets a bit more complicated once you pass the third-grade level and sometimes, math doesn’t really apply to race at all. I know I’m hardly the only half-Asian out there feeling this way and that others have fallen victim to the rules of multiplication too. But by no means is half not whole and if we’re going to strive to fight racism, then every half counts.

OM.

Must-Read Romance Books by Asian Women in 2021 Written By A. Mana Nava @jennvallangca on IG, @dis_Mana_ting on Twitter Whenever you google a list of Asian books you always see the same thing: war stories, postcolonial sadness, and inherited trauma. While these books are vital stories needed in the literary canon, we deserve to have stories of radical joy. We deserve to read and watch characters like us fall in love. Thanks to the #OwnVoices and #WeNeedDiverseBooks movements, there has been a resurgence of diversity across publishing. Romance, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Young Adult, and Mystery books finally have Asian, Black, and Latin characters written by Asian, Black, and Latin authors. Since it’s February, it’s only appropriate to celebrate by reading romance books. Here’s a list of some of my most anticipated and favorite romance books written by Asian authors. In this list, there are lighter romances that focus on emotional development and intimacy, while other books focus on what happens when the lights turn off.

Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang This steamy adult romance is not your average love story. In this novel, Stella Lane hires Michael Phan to teach her how to kiss—among other things. She’s always been focused on her work, never really spending her time and energy on building interpersonal relationships, especially romantic ones. Things start to change when she begins to develop feelings for her romance tutor, Michael. This book is not for the faint of heart. This own voices novel is written by Helen Hoang, who like her characters, is Vietnamese and neurodivergent.

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Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar Nishat is just your everyday Bangladeshi girl surviving her Catholic high school and the fact that her parents believe Muslim girls can’t be lesbians. To distract herself, Nishat throws herself into the school’s small business project. She starts a henna business since she always hennas during family events and holidays. Enter Flávia, Nishat’s childhood friend. She returns to school and starts a competing henna business. Even though Flávia should technically be her rival, Nishat’s crush blossoms into something more. This sapphic young adult novel manages to be light and enjoyable while tackling hard topics like cultural appropriation, racism, homophobia, bullying, and identity. This is Adiba Jaigirdar’s debut novel reflects her own upbringing as a lesbian Bangladeshi who grew up in Ireland.

Somewhere Only We Know by Maurene Goo This 320-page young adult novel is a whirlwind romance that takes place within 36-hours. Lucky is a popular K-Pop star who’s about to break into the American market. The pressure is on. For some stress relief and temporary freedom, she sneaks out of the hotel room to seek out what she’s been denied: a hamburger. She meets Jack, a 17-year-old paparazzo. At first, he sees a lost, beautiful girl, but when he realizes he might have a story that could make his career. On this wild night, these two characters connect while running around Hong Kong eating late-night meal after meal. This is a fast-paced read with bubbling characters who are slowly beginning to understand their passions and defy expectations. Like Lucky, Maurene Goo is a Korean American from California who writes romance young adult featuring Asian characters.

A Sweet Mess by Jayci Lee Want an Adult Romance with small-town vibes? Something comfy and cozy with a slight edge? A good ol’ enemies to lovers trope? Aubrey Choi owns a bakery in her small town. When an order gets mix-up, a food critic destroys Aubrey’s reputation. All her strict Korean parents’ worries come to life. To save her career, Aubrey agrees to a TV opportunity to boost her reputation. The catch? The guy offering this opportunity was her one-night stand. Double catch? He’s the food critic who wrote the nasty review. Jayci Lee is a Korean American author based in California who has books slated to be published until 2022.

Make Up Break Up by Lily Menon Annika Dev is an app developer whose app is a virtual therapist. She’s having trouble with funding and might lose her business rental space. Meanwhile, her archnemesis moves next-door. His rival breakup app is skyrocketing in popularity and he’s on covers of magazines. The media pits their two apps together and they’re forced to occupy the same professional spaces. As they spend more and more time together, Annika can’t stop thinking about the summer conference they attended and what could be. This goofy, light-hearted book is the perfect bridge for Lily Menon’s young adult fans to transition into adult romance novels. Menon is known for her young adult romantic comedies that have been adapted into Netflix series.

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Grown-Up Pose by Sonya Lalli Anu Desai was the perfect good girl growing up. She got good grades, went to a good school, went into a safe field, married someone who her parents approved of, and had a baby before she was 30. She always listened when her family told her: “Yoga is a hobby, Anu, not a passion” or “What kind of wife and mother teaches yoga?” One day, she woke up and couldn’t recognize herself. So, she and her husband separate while Anu rediscovers herself. This second chance romance shines because isn’t about meeting someone and falling in love. This adult romance tackles the reality of diving into a relationship before getting to know yourself. This is not a typical, cookie cutter romance. It defies the odds and is a breath of fresh air in the genre. This is also an own voices book written by an Indian Canadian author. Sonya Lalli has a new book, Serena Singh Flips the Script, coming out on February 16.

Hungry Hearts edited by Elsie Chapman and Caroline Tung Richmond This is a unique collection of interconnected short stories in the magical town of Hungry Hearts Row. This small-town is a smorgasbord of different restaurants, bakeries, and food stalls. This book is filled with magical soup dumplings, the mafia, brujas spread magic through pastelitos, and cooking competitions that can save a life. In this young adult anthology, love is explored in all of its forms: romantic, familial, self, community, and platonic. Popular authors like Rin Chupeco, Sara Farizan, Sandhya Menon, and more are featured in this heart-warming, immersive collection.

Meet Cute Diary by Emery LeeTung Richmond Out on May 4 2021, Meet Cute Diary is being compared to Felix Ever After and Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. In this young adult romance, Noah Ramirez writes trans loves stories on an online blog to inspire other trans kids like him. When someone reveals the blog to be made up, Noah fake dates Drew. Everyone loves the slow burn of a fake dating trope. This is Emery Lee’s debut novel. They are a Black Asian Latine writer.

First Comes Like by Alisha Out February 16 2021, this is the newest book in Alisha Rai’s Modern Love series. Don’t worry, you won’t be lost if you haven’t read the previous two. This adult romance follows Jia Ahmed who’s a rising beauty influencer. She moved to LA to prove to herself and her family that she can make it in the makeup industry. She’s too busy being a businesswoman to make any time for love. Until a soap opera star, Dev Dixit, slides into her DMs. Or so Jia thinks. When their DMs are leaked online, the two public figures make some public appearances to get the paparazzi to cool down, but neither party is ready for this fake romance to end. Alisha Rai writes adult contemporary romance, erotica, and articles. If you like her Modern Love series, she’s got a good-sized catalog to have you occupied until her next release.

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“Lovely” by Christine Trying to drag on, I put fire in my lungs, A kid with burns and belt lashes on her skin, I’ve been chasing that high ever since. Why can’t I find pleasure from biting my tongue? My grandma said, we all feel that way, It runs in your veins, don’t let them know you like the pain. Grandma traded the lotus flower for his american flag, packed her culture away in a small bag. Sometimes I think I’m too aware of the crackling in my brain, but my mother said, we all feel that way. Don’t let them know you’re in pain, no one will like you if you’re insane. And mother traded med school for a milky white man, she painted a picture of how to be romanced. Now I chase men who don’t want me, trying to make myself seem lovely. So I can prove to me that I am worthy. And I promise it’s not about you, It all traces back to the man that told me I am nobody. An embarrassing extension of himself. A stupid half breed, can’t do anything right. A product of my mother giving up her freedom for a fucked up family. Seems my parent’s intelligence got lost in me. Left with my father’s anger, and my mother’s soft spoken voice that shakes with anxiety. I am the worst parts of my parents, all that they keep hidden comes out in me. In a constant cold war between who I am and who I want to be, who I was told to be and who I learned to be. Father told me that’s how we all feel, don’t make yourself seem special. Yes, my mother painted me a picture of how to be romanced, and hidden in the soft strokes and gentle curves of her brush she warned, he’ll trick you with his words, making himself seem gentlemanly, so that he can prove to him that he is worthy. She painted me a picture, taught me how to romance. How to be lovely, keep your sweet lips sewn tightly, have soft skin and a slender body. And so I think back to the man that told me I am nobody. Teary eyed and dead inside, I say to him, daddy why don’t you think I’m lovely?

“imon tou” by Nikki Wong // @nikkilynnwong22 Medium: film

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“Mustard fields” by Harini Aiyer // @ deskidharti Medium: digital

Interview with

by Zoe Kim

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EASHA is a 19-year-old New Jersey-based pop artist. She was a finalist at the World Cafe Live Yearly Showcase in Philadelphia and is a regular performer at the Bluebird Cafe. In Nashville, she regularly co-writes and works with Grammy-winning songwriter Liz Rose (who writes songs for Taylor Swift, Little Big Town, etc.). Her original work has been featured on The Atlantic, Yahoo!, Music Inc. Magazine, etc. She composed two UNICEF tributes (“A Better Day” and “Waves”) for an international charity tour, and the CEO of UNICEF praised the “skill” and “passion exhibited.” Finally, EASHA is the Grand Prize winner of the National Lionsgate Cover Competition. She has an active following on social media, with 50,000+ Tik Tok followers and 40,000+ Instagram followers, who blew up her debut single live from her bedroom, “Dying Is a Beautiful Thing to Do,” to half a million streams in less than a month. EASHA’s music is like if Norah Jones married John Mayer, surprising the audience with an Indian Classical Music background. Outside of her singing/songwriting, EASHA enjoys triathlons and business. She placed 11th in the world at the 2019 World Championships of Triathlon in Switzerland and attends Stanford University. Instagram, TikTok, Facebook: @eashamusic

Going to high school in a college town, I found that it was easy to forget that a world outside competitive academia existed. Even most of my social media interactions were heavily influenced by college app advice and memes about stress. But one day, Instagram offered me an incredibly refreshing break by highlighting one of my peers cultivating her craft. It was so exciting to see someone singing, songwriting, and generally doing her own thing! I started following EASHA during the dawn of her social media presence when we were both in high school, and I’ve followed her ever since. I watched as she took a gap year to work exclusively on music in Nashville and saw her popularity explode this past year on TikTok and Instagram. Recently we sat down to catch up and talk about her music career and her new EP, “Fact of the Fiction.”

Introduce yourself! Hi, my name is Easha! I’m a 19-year-old singer-songwriter. I’m currently in New Jersey doing college online, like everyone else. I’ve been doing music for 15 years now, but writing music since I was 12. I just recently started releasing my stuff and doing the whole social media thing, and it’s been good Tell me about your origin story as a musician. Sure, I got introduced to music through my mom. She’s an Indian classical music teacher. So just by osmosis, I always had to hear it around the house, and she started teaching my sister and me as young kids. Eventually, it’s grown into a full-blown school, and I’m actually a teacher at it now. But it started out at home with some neighborhood kids. I had always been probably the most interested in it. I think everyone else was there because they were forced to be

there. And obviously, there was kind of this sense of, “Ah, I like the songs that are on the radio, like, this is kind of too traditional.” But I’ve learned to appreciate that origin and training that has given me. I think I was able to transition into western/American music pretty easily. You grew up in central New Jersey. Has the region had any influence on your music and writing process? I definitely think it influences the topics I write about. There’s always this sense of disillusionment—I’ve never really been a suburban person. I like to be in cities. I like to be where things are happening. So, of course, mixed with, like, general teen angst, that’s always a fun source of inspiration. If I remember correctly, you took a gap year in Nashville before college, right? Based on your social media, I feel pretty confident saying you were extremely productive—tell me about what you were up to! It was probably the most exciting time of my life! Not only was I solely focused on music, but it was the first time I’d moved out of my house and lived on my own and made friends who weren’t from the same county as me. So a lot at once, very exhilarating. Basically, when I was in Nashville, I would write like two or three songs a day. I had to kind of take it down because I feel like you get really in it, and then you get burnt out. I was performing out a lot because it’s Music City, so any corner you turn, there’s a music venue you can play. So I got a lot of experience playing out and doing a lot of writer’s rounds, which are specific to Nashville. You just play original music with other people in your round. I also just made some really good friends, and in general, I feel like

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“You can mess around and do whatever you want. I’ve had so many people categorize me as different things, but I think at the end of the day, I just try to write good songs.” I just learned how to be a functional adult. How have you been handling COVID19’s effect on your career? Honestly, it gives me a sense of peace that it’s not just a personal issue. I think The fact that the whole world was in shambles. The music industry as a whole, it’s not like I was behind and everyone else was just go go go, and I was just watching them. It’s like, the whole industry has shifted. It’s like, everyone is figuring it out at the same time—how do I take advantage of this? Tell me about your new EP! My first single that blew up on TikTok and Instagram reels, “Dying is a Beautiful Thing to Do,”—I literally wrote that, recorded that, and put it on Spotify on the same day. I was just so sick of being a lay duck, and everybody wants things on Spotify. That got so many streams, and I was like, “wait, that’s not supposed to happen! Because there’s no production, there’s nothing there...why do people like this?” And then I realized people really like that kind of strippeddown, raw style. Everyone was asking

for more songs. So I just recorded three other songs, and it kind of works as a storytelling arc because I put the EP according to “Dying is Beautiful Thing to Do.” I’ve been really grateful for the people who actually take the time to listen and respond to it. It’s given me a lot of motivation to release more music this year. In terms of genre, where do you place yourself? I always write acoustically, that’s how I trained myself, and I just find that you’re a lot less lazy when you do that. Because if it sounds good acoustically, it will sound amazing produced. But if it sounds good produced, it won’t necessarily sound good acoustically, so I’ve been really strict about that. I don’t see myself strictly being acoustic in the future because I’ve worked with producers, and there’s a sound that I like that tends to be a little more “pop.” But also, I like soulful songwriting, so is there’s a way I can mix both of them? I feel like the genre’s just dead nowadays. You can mess around and do whatever you want. I’ve had so many people categorize me as different things, but I think at the end of the day, I just try to write good songs.

write songs consistently with a source of inspiration that I could control. I’ll use other pieces of art and other songs. Honestly, If you force yourself to write often, you find ideas that you wouldn’t if you were just sitting around waiting for it to happen. I think it’s really romantic to think that everything you write about has happened in your life. I just think it’s really limiting. I’m also really good at putting myself in situations that I haven’t been in. I’ll write a song about a situation I’ve never been in, and people will be like, “Oh my God, I can relate so much!” and I’m like, “Girl, that’s your song!” The best part about sharing your music is that people find meaning in it that you didn’t originally intend. I’m a big believer that the song isn’t yours once you put it out in the world. It’s whatever the audience wants it to be. What general advice do you have for someone balancing school and something else? You know what you want, and you internally know what you have to do and how good you are. Do not rely on external validation! Because it’s not sustainable and not realistic.

Inspiration? I feel like this is an unpopular opinion: I don’t like to strictly write from my life. I feel like a lot of people say that they do that, but how exciting could your life possibly be that you’re only relying on that? And I know people who jump from relationship to relationship and just have a boundless source of drama. Obviously, I’m a songwriter, so I’m a sensitive person, but I’m also not the type of person to latch onto anyone. So I had to come to grips with how to

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REVERSING JIM CROW:

TODAY’S ANTI-RACISM LAWS AND HOW THEY CAN BE IMPROVED By Shreya Rajappa @shreyarajappa

She

looked up at the white man in front of her. However, she didn’t move, didn’t change seats, and didn’t fulfill the white bus driver’s request to do so, knowing full well that what she was doing was illegal. In 1955, black people in Montgomery were required to give up their seats in the back of the bus when white people no longer had available seats in the front. As a result of this Jim Crow law, Rosa Parks was arrested for her noncompliance, spurring a year-long bus boycott that eventually desegregated buses in Alabama and Montgomery with the U.S. Supreme Court’s repeal of this law. However, this law wasn’t the only Jim Crow law of its time. A Jim Crow law was any law formed by bitter Southerners after losing the Civil War intended to legalize racial apartheid and segregation. Examples of Jim Crow laws included the construction of “whites only” restaurants, water fountains, bathrooms, cemeteries, parks, movie theaters, and schools and separate facilities for black

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people. However, even today, after all Jim Crow laws have been repealed and anti-discrimination laws have been enacted, not everyone experiences equal treatment and has equal access to services on the basis of their skin color. This disparity needs to be narrowed and ultimately eliminated Bravely walking past adults and even children holding signs with the words “We Want To Keep Our School White” in red and a coffin holding a black baby doll, 6-year-old Ruby Bridges was the first black child to desegregate the all-white William Frantz Elementary School in Louisiana in 1960, causing all except one of the teachers to quit and her classmates to change rooms. In the end, Ruby was taught by that one teacher who stayed and didn’t have any classmates for the rest of the year, demonstrating how even as the Jim Crow laws were being struck down, racism changed the way this student attended school. She didn’t even eat unsealed food because of threats of poison. Today, our schools work under the Equal Educational Op-

portunities Act that prohibits public schools and their staff from discriminating against students on the basis of race, color, or nationality. While this law definitely reflects tolerance more than our nation’s laws once did, this isn’t enough. Black students still have obstacles that hinder their learning in schools and success later in life, such as the school-to-prison pipeline. Criminalizing certain rulebreaks with “zero-tolerance” policies and instituting police officers on campus who become involved in situations that could have easily been dealt with by the school, the school-to-prison pipeline is responsible for black students being suspended and expelled 3 times more often than white students, making them 3 times more likely to be involved with the juvenile justice system the following year. Additionally, even though black students only make up 16% of public school enrollment, they make up a disproportionate 31% of school-related arrests, demonstrating how this pipeline is cutting their education and futures short. On top of black students facing harsher discipline than their white

peers, they also have to face an- ing in housing. Gentrification, ti-black microaggressions and the movement of high-income racism from their classmates and people into low-income neigheven teachers on a regular ba- borhoods, forces low-income sis. For example, some teachers people out of their homes as a unjustly set low expectations for result of skyrocketing prices. black students and then act sur- Additionally, it causes housing prised when they excel academ- to be even less affordable, which poses an issue for the black ically. community because as a result In October 1960 in Louisiana, of systemic racism, they have a not only were black people not al- higher chance of needing this lowed to rent a building that was affordable housing and of being inhabited by a white people and harmed by this discriminatory vice versa, but any person who process. allowed this situation to hapAt least 12 black people, afpen would be fined no less than $25,000 or jailed for no less than ter being denied entrance into 10 days. This racial segregation in whites-only hospitals with white housing was present throughout medical professionals, died in the South, seeking to prejudicial- 1952. When hospitals were segly prevent cohabitance between regated by Jim Crow laws in the black and white people. Since 1960s, the hospitals black people then, this housing law has been were allowed to seek treatment reversed with the Fair Hous- from lacked enough doctors, ing Act, a law banning renters money, and equipment to treat and sellers from discriminating people effectively. In 1965, hosagainst prospective renters and pital segregation was banned, buyers on the basis of race, skin and recently, the Anti-Racism color, nationality, religion, sex, in Public Health Act of 2020 was familial status, and/or disability, passed, adding a National Center implemented by the Obama ad- for Anti-Racism and a Law Enministration. However, it hasn’t forcement Violence Prevention prevented inequality from exist- Program (as a part of their injury prevention initiatives) to the Centers for Disease Control and “We need to speak Prevention (CDC). Nevertheless, up, writing and sign- we need more. Black people, as a result of false, harmful, and ing petitions, calling ignorant beliefs that they can our representatives, withstand more pain than white people can, have been refused and even proposing treatments, tests, and diagnothese bills on our own ses by their doctors. In particublack women have faced the to small or overarch- lar, brunt of these life-threatening dismissals, being less likely than ing legislatures.”

white people demonstrating the same symptoms to receive a prescription for painkillers from an ER physician and being 243% more likely than white women to die as a result of childbirth. While the more research that would occur through the National Center for Anti-Racism is important, we also need action in order to prevent more avoidable deaths of black people. It’s undeniable that our laws regarding race have improved since 1960, moving from the wrong side of history to the right one. However, there’s still more progress than can be made. Black students shouldn’t have to take racist remarks from teachers. Low-income Black families shouldn’t have to leave their neighborhoods. Black women shouldn’t be refused the pain medication they need. Our laws can fix this through instituting more rigid restrictions on discrimination, taking steps to start the dismantling of systemic racism. However, these laws won’t just magically come to fruition on their own. We need to speak up, writing and signing petitions, calling our representatives, and even proposing these bills on our own to small or overarching legislatures. We owe it to Black people, during Black History Month and all year-round, to fight for the laws and protections they deserve.

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lov e

y iv

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e g a b u g n

Ch ho tan i

Author’s Note: Whether you’re swiping through your for you page or scrolling through Instagram you may have come across the phrase “love language”. One’s love language is based on how you express love to other people. The five different love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, & acts of service. For example, my love language is mainly words of affirmation which means that the best way that I feel loved is whenever people motivate me or give me a comment or tell me how much they admire me and I also enjoy quality time with people so that enhances our friendship/relationships. It’s important to note that you need to be cognizant that you love someone in their love language and not yours which is important since you are your own person. Whether you’re single or not, Valentine’s day can be a hard day for people. Take care of one another and love the people around you. Love your significant other, show your appreciation for your parents and maybe do a “Galentine’s Day” with your best friends. This is the first time that I’m spending Valentine’s Day with someone and I couldn’t be more excited to give my significant other their gifts and give gifts to the closest people in my life and my “Galentine’s”. This piece is something that speaks to me with components that are outside of my comfort zone, being vulnerable and talking about spirituality, sexuality, the idea of finding love and trying to find the “right one”. If you’re reading this I hope you know that it’s okay not to have everything sorted out right now and it’s okay if you’re not in a relationship or not “talking to anyone” and to just take your time and not rush anything. Grow and figure out what you want and try new things you aren’t going to get it right the first time or the second or even the third but let your heart be opened to love. If you’ve been in a relationship and have scars from it it’s okay to take your time to heal and to figure out your priorities. It’s okay to not be ready or to have that trauma but don’t shut your heart down because the right one will come around and you deserve all the love in the entire world. you deserve to be loved and to be appreciated and remember that I love you. Thank you for reading :)

oh how someone can crumble at three little words melting in euphoria a slippery slide of exhilaration propelling me further into the abyss I’m struggling to fill the void I’d probably fling myself at anyone who shows the slightest attention to me it’s scary how someone can make you so happy make you feel on top of the world reaching great heights until the biggest fall but before you even get on the ride you have the choice to even hop on you don’t really know what you’re jumping into a pit of snakes wishing for your demise multiple eyes. staring at your every move judging and deducing your past self forgotten demons following the new & changed you you are like a snake shedding your skin after every tragedy and growing a thicker one to prepare you for the fall awaiting your demise fighting for survival on the daily your mind is your worst enemy feeding you lies that cloud your judgment second-guessing your existence and losing that one moment of euphoria the moment that you fought for the split second you saw their lips curl into a huge smile the way they turn around after saying goodbye only to look back behind them to get the last glimpse of you watching the way you carry yourself with grace and a little funky bounce I like it when you smile because it warms my little heart the way your eyes peer into mine, it’s like you’re trying to figure out my entire story the sparkle, as cliche as it sounds, is something that makes the butterflies fly around it’s hard to contain inside of me the excitement overtaking my every motion we might not be perfect human beings at the end of the day but after every single tragedy, we’ve risen and grown from the broken and scattered ashes rising like phoenix’s

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spreading our wings and flying but I hope you’re willing to catch me when my wings give out but I hope you’re willing to hold me on those hard nights where I see no end in sight but I hope you’re willing to pull me in a little closer tonight so show me your love language and teach me your ways give me all of you and show me how I can love someone like you show me what it feels like to be on cloud 9 show me what it feels like to be alive sometimes I just want to let you be whenever I lose myself I’m scared of projecting my emotions on a person who is so pure-hearted paranoia darkening my night vision I’m jaded while I sit looking at life through a lens with no reflection can I get a kiss or a peck on the cheek can I feel your lips on mine one last time I want you to wrap your arms around my body and feel how my body fits perfectly on yours and how my head fits so well rested on your neck a little divine beauty radiating gonna call you my sunshine or even my valentine oh how you’re so divine the way you spread your legs and get ready for me to dive right in swimming in your ocean or am I lucid dreaming at 5 am trying to find you in my sheets when it’s pitch dark and the bottle is empty how I see you spinning in my headspace craving for your touch begging you to call my phone and holding your hand and pulling you back into bed so that we can start a new day together watch the sunrise and have a mimosa watch the sunset and we go down in the sheets can I swim in your ocean and feel how you feel on my body my hands running up and down your body goosebumps and late-night kisses turning up the music higher and higher the more you put your lips all over my body it’s 4 am and I’m sitting with a pail by your side of the bed, collecting the tears that you shed from past pains the pail overflowing as the salts mix with the stained steel your eyes growing tired and your nose getting stuffy I hand you tissues, I ain’t lying when I tell you that you cry beautifully a beautiful mess lost and shattered I try to pick up the broken pieces single-handedly

every single time prioritizing people who wouldn’t do the same for me losing myself in the madness and chaos trying to pinpoint where I went wrong fading in and out of reality my dream world turning into my best friend because at least my thoughts don’t have legs that can run away from a girl like me my thoughts keep me secure, grounded a cord in the universe mother earth blossoming my imagination beauty like aphrodite eating strawberries and chocolate, aphrodisiac potion get some whipped cream and some ecstasy feels like heaven when you’re close to me I can’t tell if it’s love or lust well I think it’s love but my past has taught me that even the devil can bring you to love clouded in the smoke rings while you pick out your outfit for the next day the way the ring’s loop round and round like a vinyl playing on repeat unable to comprehend my surroundings fucked up thinking about you Frank Ocean said “I thought that I was dreaming when you said you loved me” but I thought that I was dreaming when you said you wanted me for me no one ever told me such pretty lies like you I’m sitting here wasted laying in my bed waiting for someone like you to come around again waiting for someone to love me the way I deserve to be loved falling in strangers beds looking for the meaning of life it’s like I’m trying to make meaning out of using comic sans when I should use Times New Roman I’m looking for something unique someone wholesome who will love me more like adore me fall in deep and excite me I’ll remind you every day how beautiful you are the way my hand is on your cheek when I pull you in for a kiss how you say the words I love you over and over again I’m so in love with you or am I in love with the idea of love? the idea of you & I

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I feel like all my grey cells are exploding in one instance all my brain cells disintegrating into nothingness beautiful white lies that form at the tip of your tongue ready to hiss like a snake pawing like a lion leaping at its prey I’m begging for an escape I seem to be aiming for the sky but I’m still scratching the surface I seem to be aiming for the sky but I’m still scratching the surface trying to find a love like yours trying to find another you & I

“Shards” by Isabelle Shi // @shisabelle.art Medium: photography

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Interview with

of S hat t er i ng

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he Sti gm a b y Ka g te And erson-Son

Ishita is a senior in high school. She founded Shattering The Stigma after noticing how the media could misinform viewers about mental health and how that exacerbates the mental health stigma. She is passionate about mental health awareness and hopes that one day everyone will be able to receive the treatment/support that they need. Ishita is also a part of Bring Change To Mind and works with her school’s student support center on mental health awareness projects to promote the wellbeing of her peers. Website: shatteringthestigma.wixsite.com/project

Introduce yourself! Hello! My name is Ishita Verma. I am currently a high school senior from California. I love reading, watching cheesy movies, and meeting new people! I’m passionate about mental health, especially eliminating the stigma through awareness. My other interests include politics and science! What is Shattering the Stigma? Shattering the Stigma is an international, student-led project seeking to eliminate teen mental health stigma. With a team of 60+ international students and 500+ readers, we focus on demystifying inaccurate media portrayals of psychological conditions. We have weekly informational articles, a Podcast discussing these portrayals with experts, and a platform for students to share their stories. You can check us out here: shatteringthestigma.wixsite.com/project How did you begin this project? What inspired it and what were the first steps you took to make it a reality? This project actually started as a blog! After being angered by how frequently the media misrepresented mental health, I began posting articles online that scientifically explained the conditions and brought more attention to inaccuracies. This blog soon began to attract readers. I still vividly remember my excitement of seeing the views on my posts rising!. When students from

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around the world started contacting me, asking if they could be a part of the project, it opened up a new possibility of ideas. At the time, the information I was putting out only covered the scope of media that I consumed. I was excited by how by expanding the team, we would be able to educate on a wider spectrum of topics and reach a larger audience. With this determination, I opened up the project, welcoming students as collaborators. We created a new website, brand, and platform. Since then, we have been continuing to progress, including starting a Podcast and additional blog for student stories! You’re leading Shattering the Stigma, while also being “a part of Bring Change To Mind, and collaborating with your school’s support center on mental health awareness projects.” I know that you’re also an active policy-debater and are working on scientific research (not to mention just being a student). And what is your advice on how to balance all of this activism, school, and your own health and wellness? I would say that time management and doing activities which you are truly passionate about is key. School, in it of itself, is a large responsibility–requiring a lot of energy and dedication. With the time that we have outside of school, we should really spend it doing the things that make us happy. This makes it so much easier to commit yourself to different activities because you truly

love them. Beyond that, prioritization is super important. Know what’s more important for you, because we only do have 24 hours in the day and can’t do everything. It’s good to create a schedule that not only keeps you engaged, but also allows for some down-time to relax and spend time with loved ones. If you had the world’s attention for just 1 minute, what would you say? What message do you want to impart? This is a great question! I think that at this time, the world needs a reminder of each other’s humanity. I think that sometimes we can get so caught up in our biases, that we can forget to treat each other with respect. Especially with there being so much negativity out in the world, we should keep in mind that we all have feelings, we all get hurt, we are all people. No one deserves hate or violence. Everyone deserves love, happiness, and compassion and that is what we should aim to give to others.

That being said, though, Covid did bring about its own set of challenges and changes. I’ve found that trying to keep myself positive and looking at the bright side of things can help to stay optimistic. With all this uncertainty and tragedy around us, hope is what truly holds the power to carry us towards a better tomorrow. What does self care mean to you? How do you take care of yourself? Self care is taking time for yourself. It’s something that can take many forms, depending on what works for different people. But, its goal should be to help you unwind, relax, and ultimately improve your wellbeing. For me, I try to put some time aside each week for selfcare. I’m learning that it’s not healthy to push yourself to be productive at all times. During my “me-time,” I like to try new activities like roller-skating and baking, and doing things like watching movies and reading books. I love the headspace that these activities put me in!

“No one deserves hate or violence. Everyone deserves love, happiness, and compassion and that is what we should aim to give to others.”

You’re a founding member of this project and a senior in high school - How has this time of COVID-19 affected you and your work? How have you been coping? Covid definitely brought about a change in my work. For one, it provided me more free time. Before covid, my schedule was jam-packed with work and extracurriculars. Covid-19 really gave me the time to reflect on what I was passionate about and what I wanted to spend my time on. I was able to really focus on my passions over the past year and it has brought a lot of purpose into my life, which I’m really grateful for.

Here are some rapid-fire questions: Your go-to boba order? Matcha Milk Tea! Favorite color? Yellow. Any good films/tv shows you’re watching right now? Madam Secretary! Ultimate comfort food? Burritos. What has been the highlight of your day today? I caught up with a friend I haven’t talked to in a while :) OM.

Poems by Micky Brown “More Pretty Than Money” I’ve been lamenting recently that I’ve Run out of materials to collage with But today I cashed a check No two I work two jobs these days And I walked away from the ATM a few hundred dollars richer These days, Money doesn’t show up in your hand after a week’s work It’s a number on a screen but my dream is to Take all those numbers and turn them into bills Don’t I work for that money? Don’t I earn it? I sure sweat for it. I sure missed out for it. --sorry not tonight i have a shift-Don’t I own that money? It sure is a pretty shade of green Like mint tea mixed with cement When’s the last time I held a dollar? It sure has faces of ugly men on it I’ve been lamenting recently that I’ve Run out of materials to collage with But today I might withdraw my numbers and hold them in fat stacks I might rip them up Maybe eat a couple I might pull on the soft fibers Worn down from those who didn’t Know they owned it and returned it to the company they borrowed it from I might tear them to shreds and Make something to look at It might not be a good collage Just give me some time to get better I might not be a good artist But I’ll sell my body and my friendships and time for numbers on a screen and 99 | Overachiever Magazine

I could make something more pretty than money Something people wouldn’t start wars over Something people wouldn’t hoard for their next 15 generations Something anyone could have I could make something more pretty than money But rent is due next week.

“Memories to be Made” I don’t think poetry matters. Who will remember even one whole stanza From tonight? Or from a book? Or online? Who will remember? But I also don’t think what I think matters. Will I remember what I said? Tonight? Yesterday? Or last year? Will I remember? All that I know, all that I know To be true is that The Cedar Waxwings, dipped in fire,

Will come home to the Valley each turn of summer. And the poppies invite bees and bugs To settle between their petals Each fall of winter. And we, such small fawns Wading through turbulent waters Will remember how we felt tonight And tomorrow. And when the sun breaches the horizon And reaches its fingers to the stars. And when we say goodbye. And when we figure out why poetry matters at all. 100

Saniya So h t i w w vie Inter

tte by Charlo

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oni & Sapna Ram appa o f

e Drummond

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Loudmouth Ladkis is a podcast that features conversations with two young, South Asian-American women (Saniya Soni and Sapna Ramappa), in which they discuss their experiences navigating the world with their bicultural identities. Saniya is a senior at Drexel University with a major in Psychology, and Sapna is a third-year at UCLA with a major in Human Biology and Society. Their mission with the podcast is to use storytelling as a mechanism to build community and share the narratives of individuals growing up at the intersection of South Asian and Western identities. True to their “loudmouth” brand, they utilize the art of storytelling to speak about issues otherwise stigmatized by the South Asian diaspora, especially emphasizing mental health and self-care. Instagram: @loudmouthladkis On a lovely Friday morning, January 29, I got to chat with the ladies behind the podcast, Loudmouth Ladkis, a South Asian women-run show where the two hosts discuss issues surrounding Desi and Western culture. The two voices behind the podcast are soon-to-be college grads Saniya Soni and Sapna Ramappa. Soni, 22, is a Punjabi-American psychology and criminal justice studies major at Drexel University looking to pursue a career in clinical psychology. Ramappa, 20, is a South Indian-American Human Biology and Society major at University of California, Los Angeles, who hopes to work in medicine, public health, and advocacy. Both born and raised in the Bay Area of California, Soni and Ramappa went to the different high schools in the same city, had mutual friends, and a shared passion for speech and debate, but they somehow didn’t meet until mid-high school. They finally met at a Speech and Debate tournament at Santa Clara University and realized how much they had in common, and a new friendship was born. Even after both of them transferred to different schools, their bond only grew stronger as they sent each other their favorite works of South Asian art. One summer night when they were both home in the Bay Area, the idea of the

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podcast came to light. They were on the way to visit an art exhibit put on by Maria Qamar, a Desi artist commonly known as Hatecopy when they started talking about podcasts. “Sapna brought up the meme that’s like, millennials talk about something for 10 minutes and they’re like, ‘let’s start a podcast!’” Soni says. “We were like, ‘what would we start a podcast about?’ Very jokingly. We were also dressed in Western South Asian attire. We were wearing jeans and denim jackets, but we were also wearing cropped Lehenga tops and bangles and bindis…” When they finally got to the exhibit, the thought lingered in their minds, and what started as a joking idea turned into an exciting new project. “We were surrounded by so many amazing South Asian women who were unapologetically living their true, most authentic selves,” Soni continues. “[We] were also in this Western society and blending those two so seamlessly. [Suddenly] we were like, ‘We’re going to do it. We’re going to do the podcast.’” That happened in July of 2019, and by August of 2019, they were preparing the launch of the first episode of their first season of Loudmouth Ladkis. For near-

ly a year and a half, Soni and Ramappa have recorded four seasons of fulfilling and uplifting conversations about navigating the world as a Western Desi woman. They’ve discussed a wide range of topics, from integrating mental health and wellness into their daily lives to seeking therapy as a South Asian woman to decolonizing self-care. They’ve even started doing Q&As about themselves to allow their listeners to know more about them, who they’ve grown very fond of. “We did a little New Year’s Zoom call with some of our listeners,” Ramappa says. “We wanted to have a very intimate setting to talk about our goals for 2021 and setting intentions for a good year...That was a really cool experience because... our goal is to create community with our podcast... It’s us talking to our audience more directly and having a little call with people who are now our friends and who live in all different areas of the world.” From the community they’ve fostered through their podcast’s following to the incredibly touching conversations they’ve had and continue to have, Soni and Ramappa have learned a lot about themselves and each other. “The thing I have taken away from doing this podcast is it’s given me the space to unapologetically own my identity, “Soni says. “In high school, I never felt like I was the odd one out, but I also never embraced being South Asian the way I do today. I don’t compartmentalize it in my head anymore. It’s been a way for us to deepen our friendship. We’ve developed a bond beyond what we initially had, and [it’s amazing] also to hear from people who listen to our show and are like, ‘I really resonated with this.’ Storytelling, it’s so, so, so powerful. If what we say can make a positive impact on even one person,

then we did what we sought out to do.” Although Loudmouth Ladkis has brought up more good than bad in their lives, Soni and Ramappa also understand the challenges they have to overcome when it comes to speaking on controversial topics. “I think one of the biggest things is by virtue of having a platform, no matter what size, but just like it being online and for a public audience means that we do have limitations in what we can say and what we feel comfortable saying,” Soni says. “There’ve been topics that we absolutely want to talk about, but we are also kind of afraid to because we know that we will get some pushback. But once again, because we do call ourselves Loudmouths, [we are always] trying to push for us to talk about hard topics.” The ladies of Loudmouth Ladkis have truly outdone themselves by creating their podcast, and they urge other South Asian women to take control of their own voices and not be afraid to be authentic, vulnerable, and of course, loud. “Know yourself, reflect on yourself because I think that will help you have a cohesive narrative,” Ramappa says. “Not that it needs to be, but it’ll allow you to put it in a box and put a little pretty bow tie on it. Our podcast episodes are not perfect, but I think that’s what makes them enjoyable to listen back to...Honor the imperfect.” The fifth season of Loudmouth Ladkis, which follows the theme of empowerment, recently premiered on Thursday, February 11, and is now available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Anchor. You can also keep up-to-date with the podcast on their Instagram, @loudmouthladkis. OM.

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Poems by Eman Khurram “Questions for my father” I have not seen my father in 4 years. Lately I’ve sat down to wonder how he is. Does he still ache? Do his eyes still water when he hears my name? Or does his soul fill with rage at the mention of me? Does he make everyone pretend I never existed? Is he a walking corpse? A man without a soul? Every day I sit on the old, old Prayer mat I left home with. I ask my God to lessen his pain. I beg for God to let him forget I existed. Daughters of good fathers don’t run away. Daughters who are fed with silver spoons, All of their father’s beautiful dreams do not disappear. Girls with gold on their arms and privilege in their blood do not Twist and crack and shatter. I will never see my father again. I will always wonder how he is. Will he always ache? Will his eyes water whenever he hears my name? Or will he shove me back to a dark, dark place? A place locked with keys thrown far, far away. A place so hard to reach, one gets tired in the venture.

Will he forget I exist? Will he ever want to see me again? “A Real Girl” When I was a real girl. One made of bones and flesh and warmth, Held together by sinew. I think I used to dream. Of glory and smiles and the sun. But the glory was too grand. The smiles bit at my neck and tore my ribcage apart And the warmth was scalding, It burned me away. I am no longer a real girl. No longer made of bone and flesh and warmth, No longer do I need sinew to keep my meager appendages from shattering. Now I am steel and stones and bricks. Kept together with cement. I refuse to dream. Real girls all die.

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“Asian Erasure” By Jina Park “Omona” is a Korean phrase used when one is surprised… It is relevant when thinking about the rise of attacks against Asian-Americans To jot down my thoughts, I typed “Omona” in my notes app It immediately autocorrected to “Mona” I tried again, two, three, four, five times and the words flipped to “Moon” instead. Asian erasure. Just like that, I can feel the pain of my roots being taken away Along with that, I helplessly see videos of Asian Americans being assaulted Just like that, I see people like my grandparents being violently pushed into the ground Not a peep in the media. Omona…This is Asian erasure. But come spring, my roots will come again You see, my grandma will make sure of it! I will visit her and see her blooming garden, Full of sangchu, gochu, and pa* Omona! Halmoni**, how did you grow all of this? She works in her garden with love and consistency Growing each plant, from seed to root to maturation All the neighbors know about her garden! Come summer, she makes tubs of kimchi*** for our family to eat Her food soothes my soul, And reminds me of my roots as an Asian-American. Omona…Halmoni’s food is so good, she makes the best kimchi! People ask, Omona…she’s 90, how is she so active? Well, her roots are strong and sturdy She doesn’t falter in any situation. She continues to garden and work year after year. Only after writing this I realize… There will be no Asian erasure. The sacrifice of my grandparents and parents will always ground me. Their roots and their history as immigrants constantly remind me of their perseverance. Like our grandparents, we shouldn’t waver Let’s cultivate our roots and stand tall Let’s tend to each other and stand tall Omona, there will be no Asian erasure. *Lettuce, hot peppers, spring onion **Halmoni means grandma in Korean ***Kimchi is fermented spicy cabbage, it is a traditional Korean dish

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“Discerning Devastation” by Erica Trinidad Sometimes I wish that personality was a box you could tuck in your pocket; hand it over to strangers on the street when they feel like being someone else for just one day. You would trade squares and fit them into the round holes of your beating heart – open up a few savor the scent and taste the memories they long to forget. Whenever my feet get itchy I realize that scratching the surface isn’t about disliking where I am but hating who I’m not; because I could be her, you know. I could be anybody: the lovely face you call home the leader you call hero the woman you call god. I could be anybody anywhere else I could be something else if only I had the courage to try and leave a little to build myself from scratch steal the nose of that woman on the street the brain of that man on the phone

the laugh of that child on a ride and that body you see on the billboard. I could be the world’s greatest liar if only I could avert my eyes from everyone I ever loved excluding myself. I would stare and stare into the mirror each day hoping to convince the greatest liar of all the truth of what I am not and the truth of who I long to be. The voices in my head talk to each other at the dinner table debating the reasons why I’m so unhappy to stay. They’re convinced that taking away all that I know will give me the wisdom to realize all that I truly am. Utterly sold on the idea that these round holes in my square heart will give me the power to create who I am to be reborn again and again. I wish could I start over just get up and go meet those strangers on the street and tell them no matter how hard you try those boxes are all you will ever know.

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“Silence woke her” by Jordan Nishkian She was used to symphonic traffic seeping through his studio walls: rolling over to blaring horns, syncing her lungs to dull roars of diesel, shielding him from shrieking brakes— right hand finding heartbeat, left hand inhabiting hair, eyes open enough to see his shoulder bathe in traffic cues and neon.

Poems by Kari VanderLaan “Light Rail” The train felt important the moment you stepped stepped inside. Your sing-song voice, unselfconscious, sanitized whatever status quo lingered from the lunchtime rush. You kicked coffee droplets off your fingertip. You winked. “Silent Treatment” Orange juice sunrise. Spilled onto the pages, you never looked up.

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The Legacy of a Pregnant Nun By Sima Greenfield @simisimsimzzz Sima Greenfield is a Filipino-American living in Los Angeles, CA. She’s pursuing her MBA at California State University Northridge while working as a Marketing Coordinator for an event production company. When she’s not working, she enjoys hikes, watercolor painting and volunteering at a community kitchen.

*Trigger warning this piece depicts sexual assault and suicidal ideation*

hen my mom finished cancer treatment, she said, “I’m going to the Philippines one more time even if it kills me.” With her compromised immune system, it was risky to travel but she said, “If I die then I die.” My dad was less than enthused with her decision. At least, I was going to travel with her. The musky air with a faint hint of fish sauce greeted us when we got to my Tito Jose’s house. The property consisted of four houses, a small garden, and a few farm animals. Last time I had been here I was probably eight years old. We sat for a dinner of daing, rice, lumpia, and pinakbet spread across a long table on bamboo placemats. Tito Jose loves to talk. His stories were a precious commodity considering he is

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approaching 80. “Our family is the founding family of Butuan,” He said with a mouth full of rice, “we helped turn it from a farming community into a city. Your great great great, however many greats, grandmother was a nun. She got pregnant! They forced her into the woods to live in a bamboo hut. She had three children that all grew up to be leaders in the community. You can see their names on the street signs. Eventually, we found out she was impregnated by a priest! She might have been a good mother but she was a whore. A whore that made very smart children.” I listened to my uncle talk more about his life, from going into hiding in the jungle during World War Two to escape the Japanese, becoming an international banker, and helping to

raise his eight nieces and nephew. While all his stories were intriguing, I kept thinking about the nun. Is it so simple to say she was a whore? I asked my mom about the story and she said, “Oh, the priest impregnated like eight different women. He was a whore!” She laughed. My imagination went off thinking about my great, great, great, however many greats, grandmother. What if it was love? One night, everyone leaves the choir hall. Father Alfonso and Sister Leticia’s eyes met in an empty room. Finally he had the nerve to caress her arm. Her innocent eyes batted at him and he met her lips with his. Her body felt a jolt of lightning. Years of praying away urges, the urge burst through the surface of skin

charged with desire. Then when their faces parted they took a moment to stare into each other’s eye with looks of surprise and lust. He asked her to meet him in the woods, where they could have more privacy. She followed his instructions. Under the light of stars and to the sounds of the jungle they made love in a small bamboo hut in the woods. From then on they continued to meet at night in the woods to talk, to laugh, and to make love. They were enveloped by their love and intoxicated with lust. Until Leticia realized she was pregnant. She quietly told him in confession. They met later that evening in the woods. She wept. “I love you! Let’s leave this place and raise our child!” He cried. “No, how will we survive?” “We will live off the land!” “No, no. It would be selfish for me to take you away from your work. It’s also foolish.” “What will we do?” He asked her. Leticia, with a maturity beyond her years, said she would take the burden of having his child and claim the label of whore, while he would return to his mission.

As the years passed she heard the rumors of his dalliances, other women ostracized and more children were born. Through it all she held onto the feeling Father Alfonso gave her, like she was the center of the world. She tried to give her all to raising the children she had. Making sure they were strong enough to make it through the world. She wanted them to have a better life that she had. What if it was a con? When Leticia saw Father Alfonso, the only thing she thought was, “How much God is in this man of God?” She saw her chance in confessional to test the waters. “Bless me father for I have sinned,” she said. “I’m having lustful thoughts.” “Of what, my child?” “Of the other nuns and I in lust. I can’t seem to stop thinking about hands touching my body.” She knew what to say to make the man blush and over the course of several weeks, she detailed sexual fantasies to the pure of heart priest. After many meetings she finally went to the other side of the confessional and got on her knees. A favor he could not refuse. Father Al-

fonso was filled with guilt for transgressing against the Lord. When she missed her period it was like a gold mine. Who cares if the family disowned her? They already thought she was impure. Who cares if these dusty nuns thought she was whore? They’re jealous. This priest needs to pay her out so she keeps quiet about his indiscretions. And he did. He’d give into his carnal desires. She’d get paid. Sister Leticia made a quaint home in the jungle of the Philippines to raise her children. She’d have men come in and out, making quite an income for herself. But at least she got to live by her own means, on her own accord. Despite her taboo means of living she loved her children. She read to them, taught them about nature and science. She had all the time in the world to dedicate herself to loving them. Was it abuse? Leticia was young and strikingly beautiful. Her luminous skin made her stand out among the rest of the nuns. Father Alfonso

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minous skin made her stand out among the rest of the nuns. Father Alfonso took notice. He took time to speak to Leticia to make sure she was adjusting and following the rules. One day, she arrived at his office in the evening. He was sitting at his desk. “Sister Leticia, it concerns me you don’t feel like your place is here with us,” his commanding voice boomed. Leticia felt ashamed. “I’m trying to find a path to serve the Lord best I can.” “Do you trust me?” “Of course, Father.” “Are you a virgin?” “Of course, Father.” Father continued to question Leticia about lustful thoughts and her sexual history. She felt confused but hoped there was a reason he was asking. There was no way she could refuse. Then he posed different scenarios of having a man touch her. Soon he began to maturbate in front of her as they discussed these scenarios. He claimed this was to help her through these impure thoughts and get her closer to God. Then finally the day came where she returned to his office. Shaking, wondering what would happen next. Feeling the weight of her duty. Knowing there was nowhere to go. No one to tell her what he was doing to her. Father Alfonso forced himself on her and she was too worn down to fight back.

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It was pointless to refuse. The first time it happened, she went back to her quarters to cry. The other nuns dared not ask why. Perhaps they knew. Perhaps he was doing the same to them. Or perhaps they were all embracing ignorance. Each time after an incident she would pray to God for salvation. Her days felt heavy, her existence meaningless, and her body not her own. It was his. When her period never came she thought about just killing herself. It would be easier to be dead; the sweet peace of nothing. The only thing keeping her from taking a cord wrapping, climbing to the top of a tree, and jumping into nothingness, was the idea she would be stuck in purgatory or worse, hell. Could it be worse than her current existence? She wasn’t sure. Instead, she told Father Alfonso. “You brought this upon yourself,” he said and the words hit her like a fist to her jaw. “You are a seductress and no one will believe that I’m the father. All they’ll see is a whore. I’ll take care of you. Like a good christian, I’ll make sure you are taken care of.” Leticia prayed the exile would bring her peace but it didn’t. He still came to rape her. It was her payment. Now she had her child in hand. Something to give her hope. She bore him two more children. In-

return he provided for her. She raised their children well, hoping to raise better sons and stronger daughters. Conclusion Regardless of which scenario is true, we know that Leticia was at a disadvantage as a woman. She was forced to become a nun because women are less valued than men. As a woman she was ostracized, labeled, alone and yet she persevered to become a legend to our family and impact the community. She was given a circumstance and she made what she could out of it. Just like my mother with her cancer. We survived the trip to the Philippines. My mom later went on a trip to Europe with her best friend. “There’s only one life might as well live it now,” She said. I moved on to backpack Southeast Asia. Sister Leticia, whatever burden you bore, your legacy lives in the fiery hearts of the women who came after you. OM.

Poems by Julia Cosolo “Shh” Uninterrupted peace and space Is something I have been missing and needing No matter where I go, noise follows me. Just let me be That’s all I ask Give me my solitude I can’t take the noise because it fills up my head Clouding my mind with clutter When I come back I seek serenity And a place to claim my own “future home (20th edition)” I dream of a place, that is serene, minimal, renewable a work of architectural art a library of books, ideas, memories a garden and a coup, tatami floors to midday nap on, wide windows to eliminate boundaries, no taking sides to walk in to vitality, with everything is created with intention a quiet buzz from the souls of those who inhabit the home with me “Ms. Love” If I love you, I will miss you I think about you every day And feel guilty if I try to push you out of my mind You deserve to take up all the space in the world Because you matter more than anyone to me I’m scared though, to love you, to spend my time loving you what am I to do when the loves gone?

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Not Your Business:

The Problem with White Businesses Selling Asian Culture By Sara Rösch @crispysal Sara is a German-Japanese university student currently majoring in Media Practice for Development and Social Change. She is passionate about creative storytelling, photography, social justice issues, and dog videos. Her journey in the arts sector has only just begun and she is excited about where it will take her. I hope you’re comfortable because it’s about to get pretty uncomfortable. In this article, I’d like to address the problems with Whiteowned businesses that make their profit by selling Asian culture. White people making it their business (quite literally) to represent and commodify Asian culture is shockingly common: from creating and dominating an entire market around sacred Yoga practices that originated and proliferated in Southeast Asia (Basavaraddi, 2015) to appropriating Mahjong (Yeung, 2021) and falsely advertising Yoni eggs using East Asian stereotypes (SinghKurtz, 2018; Hsieh, 2021). Of course, one could argue that Yoga, or any other tradition for that matter, is not exclusively reserved for the culture in which it has originated. In a way, I agree because I believe cultural exchange and connecting with people from various backgrounds helps us move towards a more inclusive, harmonious, and sustainable future in today’s highly globalized and capitalist world. That being said, we cannot simply overlook the power dynamics and subsequent privileges that underlie world capitalism. As Carina Hsieh’s (2021) commentary points out, the colonial gaze is still going strong and prevails through these kinds of businesses, with Kim Anami’s recent “Kung Fu ‘Gina” video being a

prime example of this. When I first watched it, I genuinely thought it was a socio-political satire because it features every single ‘oriental’ caricature through which Westerners have historically imagined and framed the whole of Asia. Plus, there is no proof that Yoni eggs ever originated from, let alone existed in, China (Singh-Kurtz, 2018; Hsieh, 2021). But the video features Black and Asian women so it can’t be that racist, right?

“Ultimately, I would like to remind myself and others that when we talk about colonialism, it is not some historical period in the distant past.”

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Until recently, I was under the impression that racism is just a fancy word for any form of discrimination against any human ‘race’. But through studying the colonial history of the very concept of ‘race’ itself, I have learned that there is much more to it. In a nutshell, the notion of race as we know and refer to it today was established by White European colonisers in an attempt to justify a social hierarchy in which they dominate indigenous peoples. One’s race, then, determined their position of labour (Quijano, 2000). By claiming land, and with it the modes of production and distribution, these colonisers were able to exploit ‘inferior’ races and accumulate wealth; in other words, they created a new capitalist pattern of power that gave rise to world capitalism (Quijano, 2000, p.216). Based on this very brief account of colonial history, we can understand

that racism describes anything that reinforces and perpetuates ‘White’ domination and is also fundamental to the basis of world capitalism. Therefore, our global capitalist system itself is inherently biased and designed to benefit Eurocentric communities and realities. The problem with the above-mentioned business models thus goes beyond the insensitive and misleading commodification of foreign cultural practices and values. People utilizing their White privilege to not only pose themselves as idealized spokespersons for oppressed cultures (often without substantial knowledge and qualifications) but also financially benefiting from this role and giving little to nothing back to the communities whose oppression grants them such privileged position in the first place, is what differentiates cultural appropriation from cultural appreciation. Businesses like Kim Anami’s “Vaginal Kung Fu Salon’’ or The Mahjong Line embody and operate based on the colonial mindset that White people are entitled to hijacking exoticized cultures and, as if that was not enough, that they are actually ‘improving’ these ‘underdeveloped’ traditions (see Chan, 2021). More often than not, they actually claim to have good intent and mean no harm (see Hsieh, 2021; Chan, 2021), which I want to believe. But good intentions are not good enough. We must hold ourselves accountable and educate ourselves to make sure our actions correspond to our intent before we act. Ultimately, I would like to remind myself and others that when we talk about colonialism, it is not some historical period in the distant past. It is still being performed, developed and sustained today, whether knowingly or unknowingly. This is why it is so important to have these conversations and educate ourselves so that we can recognize colonial patterns, call them out, and actively resist them. There is countless of free and accessible information available online, for example: the School of Sensual Arts, or its founder Henika’s Instagram page (@henikapetal) to decolonize your understanding of Yoga (which most of us, including myself, have probably been pronouncing wrong); @deceolonizemyself is another useful Instagram account, which name speaks for itself; and, of course, the Overachiever Magazine

also debunks lots of myths and stereotypes surrounding Asian cultures. So, before you make it your business to represent and commodify foreign cultures, especially ones that have been historically oppressed and exploited in world capitalist structures, please ask yourself: Am I in a position to do so? What is my relationship to this culture and its community? How much time, money, resources, and energy have I invested and am going to invest into benefitting this community? Am I merely extracting knowledge to benefit myself or am I valuing, respecting, and supporting this community? I appreciate it is not easy to step out of our comfort zone, confront ourselves, and take the time and energy to critically question our realities. So thank you for reading this and I hope you have a great day.

References

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Basavaraddi, I. V. (2015). “Yoga: Its Origin, History and Development”, Public Diplomacy. Available at: https://www.mea. gov.in/in-focus-article.htm?25096/Yoga+Its+Origin+History+and+Development Chan, M. (2021) “Director Claps Back at Company Accused of Cultural Appropriation”, In The Know. Available at: https://www.intheknow.com/2021/01/07/ t h e - m a h j o n g - l i n e - c u l t u r a l - a p p ro p r i a t i o n / ? g u c counter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZWNvc2lhLm9yZy8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAANM_aMkzYmP0JcvmsRJ46jbKrkJpfBK0Sm3pIvGCKvvDX5qxlH067-BHhxyc4OrYWH9-fUG5QB0lToU15YDfRxoBOoETak1GlsVgAtjF_ NKloc8OBwlMGxwTCGGwSwLx_eBA5QS0ABqZuW5HCN6t1Yso0cosTGBLnngc8VaoS7bI Hsieh, C. (2021). “As a Chinese Sex Editor, I Have a Lot to Say About That Racist, Wrong-as-Hell Kung Fu Vagina Video”, Cosmopolitan. Available at: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/ sex-love/a35386745/racist-kung-fu-vagina-video-offensive/ Quijano, A. (2000). “Coloniality of Power and Eurocentrism in Latin America”, International Sociology, 15:2, pp. 215-232. Available at: https://journals.sagepub.com/ doi/10.1177/0268580900015002005 Singh-Kurtz, S. (2018). “Researchers have debunked Goop’s “ancient Chinese” jade vaginal eggs”, Quartz. Available at: https://qz.com/quartzy/1441560/goops-ancient-chinesejade-vaginal-eggs-just-got-debunked/ Yeung, J. (2021). “Mahjong design ‘refresh’ reignites debate over cultural appropriation”, CNN. Available at: https://edition.cnn.com/style/article/mahjong-tiles-cultural-appropriation-intl-hnk-scli-dst/index.html @decolonizemyself, Instagram (2021). Available at: https:// www.instagram.com/decolonizemyself/ @henikapetal, Instagram (2021). Available at: https://www. instagram.com/henikapetal/

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Poems by Samina Parveen “Revenge” I believe in revenge It’s stubborn just like my dying husband’s heartbeats, Seeing scarlet rivers flow throw his stomach, profusely My heart asunder, tears flowing with the vermilion agony Dear stranger, you took away my heaven and brought hell, I hope I bring you the worst of hell too. Karma is an endless chain I believe in revenge, Pain for pain Cacophony of screams vibrating in my ears, Syncs with my screeches, tears flowing with vermillion agony Dear stranger, I want to hear your screams which are mellifluous to me Karma is infinite I believe in revenge Eyes rheumy glancing the pain, death playing hide and seek Knocking catastrophe, tears now blending with vermillion agony almost washed away Dear stranger, I am silent before the calamity Karma will reach you. Vermillion stands for traditional sindoor which is red-orange powder put as a cosmetic. Indian women use it as a sign of their marriage. When the sindoor is smudged off or wiped it indicates the woman has lost her husband. “Lost in Timezone” When the plane landed, I gasped Slowly opening my closed eyes to the world I left behind. Smelling the wet mud which is still alive,

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oh petrichor When the air hostess greets me with a namaste, it’s a feeling of belongingness. The rain greets me and the wind dances whirling me around It’s all lost in a timezone Delhi airport, when I roll my eyes to check if anything has changed in the years. It gives me chills to see the vending machine filled with kurkure, an Indian flavor of lays. It’s all lost in the time zone. When I see the nine mudras on the walls of terminal three. That’s when I get reassurance. that this is my land. Skillfully posing unique Indian architecture reminds me of the missing ingredients of my life. Time Zones strain me, my friends go to bed earlier than me, That’s when I feel empty, overwhelmed. When the sun rises before you rise, and nights are deeper than my plight. It’s a pleasure to see them at the airport when we live At the same time zones. Virtual hugs and profound cuts Can’t heal when all I find is time, a time we could talk, Stuck in my timezone which was on a neverending loop It’s a delight to see the narrow streets, hawkers selling sweet When I shout shotgun, it’s always astonishing to see the driver’s seat on right I’ll be yawning, it’s insane with jet lags. Aroma of kulcha, masalas roasted with ghee making it irresistible to resist. As the car moves casually along the modern roads, grey pavements have turned black, the whole place seems to be new. Buildings rise, trees die. It’s all lost in timezones.

Poems by Darsana Mohan “Solar Systems” My father tried to cook an egg once. He cracked it open using a spoon like mum did everyday in the side vision of his newspaper. In the evening, Amma had to come home, wipe the floor and add a note to the grocery list. When I was 5, My mother would put me to sleep, gently lulling me into thinking that the night was a friend. Come morning, I would awaken to a growl erupting out of my father, inviting me to battle the day ahead. The sage and warrior Night and Day My house never left the horizon. When I fought with him She would stand in a corner, sip her tea slowly, Wanting to pour it on herself if our sounds rose to open skies and windows. When I fought with her He would turn the radio on, tune it to cacophonies erupting out of seas, wait till we reached a shore and help us cross it. She told me once, As I tried to wind them into the hands of a clock bidding time to stop, She told me that they were simply parallel lines impersonating an axis, with a sun placed in the space between my eyes

“Room with a view” Most days, I wake up only wanting to eat. My window is a gossip, forever looking into the neighbors kitchenMasala dosa, paniyaram, sambar made from scratch My room smells like spices whose English names we do not know. They are a cooking sort of family I imagine. My house eavesdrops for sounds of hot coffee being poured into steel tumblers, One falls and the ring ting ting sound melts into our floors. This is a kinship of sound- their cooking is subject to my musical whimsy. On a glorious night of ‘Urvasi ’ on repeat, The knives slashed a little deeper into the cutting board. My mother asks if I know my neighbors and I tell her I know what they had for breakfast, which to her, is all you need to know about someone. One day I will turn to my window and ask them what they’d like to listen to.

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My Mental Health Journey By Rehana Paul @stylishpenne Rehana Paul is an Indian-American journalist and food blogger. She founded Overachiever Magazine in 2018 to give a voice to Asian women from all over Asia, living all around the world.

ental health was the least of my childhood worries—or at least, I was taught that it should be. Growing up homeschooled by Indian parents, I never really heard about it until I was well into my teens. Poor mental health was always something that happened to someone else, and only to be addressed in the most extreme of circumstances. I was taught about manic schizophrenia and hallucinations in tenth-grade biology, but never about depression or anxiety, or eating disorders. These topics were always glossed over, seen as something almost impolite to talk about. As I grew older, the utmost importance continued to be placed on physical health, while the bit of conversation about mental health that crept into my household focused on how people with poor mental health had in some way brought it on themselves, either for attention or because they were too “weak to get over it.”

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Growing up internalizing these messages, really, is it any wonder that I had no idea how to take care of my mental health or see the warning signs of it worsening? I put a tremendous amount of pressure myself from the beginning of high school, completely tying my self-worth to my academic and professional accomplishments. Many of us in Asian—or really, any immigrant—households can relate to being compared (mostly unfavorably) to other kids or having our only source of validation being our tangible accomplishments. I set about signing up for every AP, SAT, and SAT subject test I could find and getting so many books from Barnes & Noble (where I was a top-tier rewards member carrying on a lovely little scheme of buying and returning test prep books) and the library that my spaghetti-esque arms bulked up from carrying books the size of watermelons. On the side, I took on as many internships, research assistant

positions, and other extracurriculars as I could find— not as many as I had time or mental space and capacity for, but as many as I could find. I began working 12-14 hour days, downing 8 cups of coffee a day. I could feel what I now know are symptoms of the severe anxiety I’ve been diagnosed with, the sleeplessness, the shaky hands, the panic that gripped my trachea until I could barely breathe. I hyper-rationalized it, ascribing the sleeplessness and shaking to how much coffee I was having (not an untrue assumption), and the constant stress to either the volume of my work or fear of not achieving what had become my sole goal in life: getting into an Ivy League school (preferably Princeton, but I’d settle for Penn). Spoiler alert (not really, as I’m almost done with freshman year): I didn’t get into Princeton. Or Penn. Or Yale. Or Harvard. Or even Georgetown. I went to my safety school. A safety

school where I found a loving, supporthealth had ever been validated, or even ive friend group, a wonderful mentor, got really acknowledged, by an adult. When straight-As, multiple jobs and internship I expressed this to her, she immediately offers in my dream field, and access to understood what I meant (she was also the mental health, academic, and proa woman of color, which definitely gave fessional resources I needed. Not bad her the necessary cultural context—we for high school Rehana’s worst fear, eh? A need more therapists and mental health couple of months into my first semester, professionals of color!) and further valiwhich was incredible despite being all dated what I was going through. This was online due to COVID-19, I the push I needed to seek couldn’t understand how therapy, which in turn led I had been so worried “I’m a young, con- to me getting prescribed about ending up here. the medication I needed That is until I worked my- ventionally successto control my anxiety. self into—and now, this ful Asian-American isn’t me being melodraThis is not to say that woman with severe all the problems in my matic. It was diagnosed as such—a full nervous anxiety and de- life have been solved. I breakdown. By Decemstill cry. I still get anxpression—and what ber 2020, the composure ious, very, very anxious. and efficiency that inI still feel rejected, I still about it?” stilled such confidence in feel empty. But these are my staff and impressed feelings now, usually trigcountless professors and gered by something and supervisors finally cracked. After years almost always able to be calmed down in and years of bottling, pushing every anxsome way. It’s not my way of life anymore. ious thought down in pursuit of the next More than anything, the knowledge that accolade, I slipped into a depression so I am able to get through things—whethdeep I legitimately did not think I would er it’s a big test, crisis at work, breakup, make it out. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, or just a massive zit—is incredibly emI lost physical sensation in my arms. My powering. When I feel the old panic risvoice lowered until it cracked, my dark ing up, I know how to bring it back down. circles (always prominent, thanks to my When I’m having a hard week, I know South Asian genetics) worsened until it I can unload it all on my therapist later. looked like I permanently had two black And when everything just feels like too eyes. I couldn’t cry, because I couldn’t much, I can know that there is nothing feel anything. Thankfully, the aforemenwhatsoever wrong with me–I’m a normal tioned loving friend group pushed me to human person with normal human emoget help, first through a wellness countions and trauma, and a slight chemical selor at my school. Talking to her, pourimbalance doesn’t change that! I’ve also ing out everything I was going through made it a personal mission of mine to and experiencing, I will never forget destigmatize mental health more by just the wave of emotion that slammed into talking about it. I’m a young, conventionme when she commented, in passing, ally successful Asian-American woman not even as a diagnosis, that I was dewith severe anxiety and depression— pressed. It was the first time my mental and what about it? OM.

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“Norigae” by Eloise Hwang // IG: @elohwangart Medium: gouache on paper, color corrected in Procreate

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“untitled” by Vivian Chen

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(L to R) “Rosette” and “Subzero” by Daisy Nguyen Medium: digital art (photoshop painting)

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a h C s e c n a Fr d mon m u r D e rlott n by Cha e t t i Wr

Frances Cha is the author of the novel If I Had Your Face. She grew up in the United States, Hong Kong, and South Korea and graduated from Dartmouth College. For her MFA in Creative Writing, she attended Columbia University, where she received a Dean’s Fellowship. She worked as the Assistant Managing Editor of Samsung Economic Research Institute’s business journal in Seoul and as a travel and culture editor for CNN International in Seoul and Hong Kong. She divides her time between Brooklyn and Seoul with her family. Social profiles: Instagram: @franceschawrites Introduce yourself! Hello there, my name is Frances Cha, and I am the author of the novel “If I Had Your Face,” which is set in modern Seoul, Korea. When did you start falling in love with storytelling? What artistic aspects of your early life do you see now have inspired your passion for writing? I’ve always been a hungry reader, and I think the only reason I became a writer was because I couldn’t figure out how to read for a living. My mother would take me to the library every week, and she would read books to me, even though I now realize that she actually did not understand the books she was reading to me in English. Starting in high school, my solo trips to the library would often involve bringing a suitcase so that I could check out the maximum amount of books. I still do this.

effortlessly pull the reader into their worlds. What was the process of creating those characters like, and do you find yourself gravitating to any of them in particular? Thank you so much for your kind words. I began writing this book as a series of short stories, so they were very separate in my mind. In Korea, I lived in front of an officetel, which is a multipurpose apartment building, and I began to imagine the lives of the young women living by themselves who were coming and going every day. My boyfriend at the time (now my husband) lived in a different officetel temporarily where there was a married couple living on the floor below him, and I would wonder a lot about them too because it was unusual for a married couple to be living in an officetel. That became the genesis of the character of Wonna. And I grew up in a province just outside Seoul called Gyeonggido, and I would volunteer at an orphanage. And I sort of wove all these stories as backstories together in my head and wondered what they desired of the world. I think my favorite

“ I think of all the times in history, now is the best time for a young Asian woman to begin a career in writing. ”

I am currently reading your debut novel, If I Had Your Face, and I am mesmerized by how you introduce your different female characters and how you

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character changes depending on the day, but Wonna is very dear to me as she is so fragile, and Ara, because she is in her own private world. Who are your biggest inspirations, both in writing and in everything? I read every day, and am inspired by the latest book I read, whether it is so beautiful that it changes my life, or if it’s terrible, and I am led to the confidence of “ok, I can at least write better than this.” What do you find the most fulfilling about writing? What can be frustrating? I think the best part of writing, for me, is to try to capture in-scene very particular emotions and burdens and hurdles that are specific to relationships I am interested in. World-building and relationship-building, and personality-building are deeply enjoyable. The frustrating part is envisioning this very intricate, encompassing story and then finding that your writing falls so short of what is in your head. What do you consider to be the biggest challenges facing Asian women today? The fear of making decisions that will not be understood or forgiven by your friends and family, and the love for family that conflicts with personal dreams and desires. Do you have any rituals that you do to get into the mood for writing? Ha. Great question. I start out drinking about three cups of coffee, then switch to a green tea matcha latte, then cold green tea, then a hot earl grey, and I end up with a dozen mugs on my desk. It’s so weird—I don’t know why I am like this.

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What pieces of art involving Asian women have caught your eye lately? I am so obsessed with the fantastical works of JeeYoung Lee. And a recent love is the corner store art by Me Kyeoung Lee. So many fantastic illustrators out there: Cat Min, Anna Kim, Michelle Lee, Julie J Kim. They inspire me so much. Do you have any advice for young Asian girls who want to pursue writing as a career? I think of all the times in history, now is the best time for a young Asian woman to begin a career in writing. There are many works being published now by female Asian writers in the international canon of literature, and such a long way to go before we are truly represented. What’s next for you? Any exciting projects? I love children’s picture books and will be publishing two with Crown, Penguin Random House in the near future. And I am working on the television adaptation of If I Had Your Face, which will be at a global streaming service. And, of course, my second novel, which takes up all of my brainspace and dreamspace. OM.

From FRUiTS to VOGUE By Dao Anh Le-Ha @xdreamsandflamesx Dao Anh Le-Ha is a Vietnamese high school student in Australia who has a passion for makeup, fashion, graphic design, art and all things aesthetically inclined, as well as an interest in literature, philosophy and social science. She is a young intersectional feminist who advocates for what she believes in (LGBTQ+ rights, gender equality, accurate and well-done representation in media for people of all minority groups, climate change, women’s rights) and tries to use her voice and love for writing in ways to fight for what is right. She aspires to work in the United Nations and continue changing the world through activism as much as she can.

ust as in other forms of media, the western/mainstream fashion industry is quite lacking in Asian representation. And, as the mainstream media has a history of doing when trends started or initially popularized by POC explode, they tend to not give credit where credit is due, you know what I’m saying? If you’ve ever been on the fashion side of the world, internet, and mainstream media, even for a second, you’ll be familiar with the 20-year rule. This is the general pattern of popular trends resurfacing every few decades, blowing up, updating slightly - adding some modern edge to make more out-there pieces more stomachable to modern demographics—then going back to sleep. One of the most prevalent examples we saw in recent years was the reappearance of y2k (2000s, mainly early 2000s) fashion and the massive wave of y2k trends and aesthetics for most of 2020, led by arguably one of the biggest western ItGirls of today: Bella Hadid herself. Right now, we’re

seeing the early ripples of the upcoming wave of 60s era fashion and aesthetics, such as the recent appearance of fun colourful and patterned tights. This 20year rule means that most of the trends popular today actually made their first appearance and were first popularized decades ago. Founded in 1997, FRUiTS Magazine, as it is officially stylized, is a legend in the Asian fashion industry and general Asian public as well as one of the major players in the Japanese street style and Harajuku scene. To this day, the magazine is still a significant source of fashion inspiration for many people, particularly Asian youth, but non-Asian youth from a variety of fashion subcultures—from Lolita to Harajuku, to Decora, to Punk. FRUiTS Magazine also played a huge role in spiraling the first instance of the leg warmer trend, worn primarily by Japanese high-school girls in the 90s, into massive effect in not only Japan but other Asian countries too. But you didn’t know that, did you? Most people think the leg warmer trend is an entirely new thing. With the

explosion of leg warmers as one of the winter trends of late 2020 continuing on to 2021, you’d never realise that Asians started it. So, I’ve compiled a list of trends with decidedly Asian roots that have been all over Pinterest lately. The fashion pieces and styling that originated in Asian fashion communities have become insanely popular in the western world. I’ll also mention a few styling tips as well! Cardigans This list would be incomplete without mentioning a trend that was started and popularized by a Kpop idol or celebrity. The Kpop industry is home to some of the most talented stylists, some of the most stylish idols, and some of the most popular trends birthed from iconic and memorable Kpop outfits. Whether it’s Kpop stage outfits or certain idols’ off-duty personal styles, the Kfashion scene is not to be underestimated. The little cardigan trend is a case of the latter, popularized by style icon and Chanel ambassador Jennie Kim of Blackpink. Even one

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of the most popular ways to style cardigans, with baggy wide-legged jeans, is inspired by Jennie too. For Blinks, this isn’t even surprising. The Jennie Effect (everything Jennie Kim wears sells out 20 seconds later) exists for a reason. Cardigans are a pretty versatile piece - I myself own quite a few of them in different styles and colours in my wardrobe, and not just because I’m a hardcore Jennie stan. Fortunately, when trends become popular they become more readily available - there’s a whole section dedicated to cardigans in all styles and shades on huge Asian fashion retailers like Yesstyle. They can also work with many different aesthetics/ personal styles because of the variety of ways that details on cardigans (buttons, fit/silhouette, trimming of the sleeves) can be done. A ruffled cardigan in a pretty pastel pink with pearl buttons paired with a dustier pink ruffled skirt is the perfect way to do the Kfashion princess vibe. A brown cardigan with matching wide-legged brown jeans is a nice way to wear the it-colour of the season for February 2021: Pinterest brown™️. The pistachio green short-sleeved cardigan and the black tennis skirt? A perfect recreation of that one Jennie outfit that exploded all over the internet. Maybe a classic black cardigan and pleated red plaid skirt with lace trimming and fishnet tights for a more alternative look. Or, you could dress it up a

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little by throwing a cream cashmere cardigan over a mauve satin midi dress. See? So many options. Sweater Vest The sweater vest, much like the cardigan, has been a staple in Kpop idol styling and Kfashion as a whole long before the piece broke into the western fashion industry as one of the biggest trends of Fall/Winter 2020. Rocked by male and female idols alike, both in music videos and casual airport outfits, the sweater vest is a cozy piece that can create such an interesting silhouette for any outfit. Pairing a baggier-fitting sweater vest with a little pleated skirt creates a beautiful shape to any look. The exaggerated opposites are perhaps what makes it so fun to work with. On the other end of the spectrum, pairing a baggier-fitting sweat vest with loose-fitting jeans is a good way to break a few rules and wear the baggy look as a whole. A tighter-fitting sweater vest can make for a sleeker silhouette, particularly in black paired with a fitted white-button-up shirt and fitted black pants or a fitted black skirt for a classic, sophisticated look. One of my personal favourite combos that I’ve seen is a cable-knit sweater vest and a flowy midi skirt with a long string of pearls for a cozy, slightly fairy-like, grandma chic™️ look. Leg Socks

Warmers/Kogal

My discovery of leg warmers being from FRUiTS Magazine is what prompted me to write this article. While it’s nothing new for certain fashion pieces and trends to be snowballed into effect after a major fashion media outlet - usually magazines, a la VOGUE, Harper’s Bazaar, etc. - features it, it is much harder for an Asian magazine to be recognised for this, even an extremely renowned one like FRUiTS. As fashion & commentary Youtuber Mina Le touches on in her video “Let’s Talk About the Japanese Schoolgirl,” leg warmers came into fashion when Gyaru, also known as Kogaru or Kogal, began wearing them and making them a signature of their style, so much so that they made it onto the covers of FRUiTS itself. Kogaru was a fashion subculture (note: meaning there is a history to the style and people who dress in this style are a community who, for lack of a less harsh-sounding term, exhibit certain behaviour; so like other alternative subcultures it requires research and respect) among high-school girls of Japan known for modifying their school uniforms and making them much more cute and stylish. Leg warmers were originally known as Kogal socks, named after the subculture that popularized them, and exploded over other Asian fashion subcultures, including Harajuku, for many years to come. This isn’t the only in-

stance of Asian trends with Asian names being dubbed with an “easier,” more western name—you might not know that “TikTok whipped coffee” is actually called Dalgona coffee. While Kogal socks and other aspects of the modified uniform of Kogaru were unfortunately sexualized in pornographic and/or misogynistic media by both Asian and western male audiences, the fashion piece itself is by no means inherently sexual. Kogal socks/ leg warmers are such a cute and distinctive piece and can be the perfect addition to any outfit, from a black and white mall goth ensemble to a more fairycore-leaning pastel pink mesh bell-sleeved shirt and cute pleated skirt. A trendy and very fitting combo is leg warmers/Kogal socks and Mary Janes, which have also been trending. They also pair well with the sweater vest trend above. If you want to go full “schooluniform-but-make-it-cute” chic you could take inspiration from the OGs themselves, the Kogaru - maybe a fitted navy blue sweater vest, a silver-grey blazer, and a checkered navy blue pleated skirt? And bonus: they make your feet look like little hooves, which is the cutest thing ever if you ask me. The Vivienne Westwood Necklace & other Vivienne Westwood pieces While it is a little difficult to guess who exactly popularized this trend since

it has been worn by both western and Asian It-Girls alike (from Bella Hadid and Madison Beer to Joy of Red Velvet and Chaekyung of April), I will credit the origins of this trend to the iconic 2000s anime, NANA. The anime’s storyline is not the only thing about it that is exquisite; every single outfit took my breath away. I kid you not. Such beautiful styling for every single outfit, all of it done in animation too. This is why NANA is so often referenced as a significant fashion inspiration to so many people today. Within the outfits of the anime, many Vivienne Westwood pieces were featured throughout. The writer herself is a fan of Vivienne Westwood designs, and I love her for that. While I myself don’t believe in picking favourites between the industry’s major fashion houses (mainly because I don’t have the budget for any of them anyway), Vivienne Westwood is my personal favourite. Their designs are the perfect mix of vintage ornateness, a little futuristic edge, and an alternative twist. So I’m not complaining about the number of their pieces featured in outfits from the anime. Two of the most memorable pieces, that spiralled into popularity after the anime, are the famous pearl necklace (with the Vivienne Westwood planet orb logo as the statement pendant) and the armour ring. Both pieces played a role in the plot of the anime as well, if I’m not mistaken.

The armour ring is a striking design that people who watched the anime, and those who didn’t, would want to own. You know a piece has made it a trend when dupes/cheaper alternatives start appearing on Amazon. As of right now, all the dupes for the armour ring are sold out everywhere. This is the case with the pearl necklace as well. Different from the armour ring, the necklace is an extremely versatile piece, perhaps partly due to it featuring pearls; we all know pearls are a classic. It can work with so many different aesthetics and styles. You could pair it with an otherwise casual white shirt and jeans combo to add a little something. Add it to the popular monochromatic Pinterest brown™️ outfit to complete the look. Maybe even juxtapose it with some sportswear and take inspiration from Bella Hadid or Madison Beer. You could style it with a cardigan and a fun silhouette if you’re wanting to go the Kfashion route, taking inspiration from Joy’s style as seen on her Instagram @_ imyour_joy. This piece can be styled beautifully for a more goth/alternative look too, my favourite way is to pair it with a black top with an open neckline or a deep V, a black mini skirt, some fishnets, thigh-high boots, and top it with a long-line leopard-print coat reminiscent of NANA.

OM.

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On Visibility By Tasia Matthews @kanitahlah

Tasia currently works in international security and peacebuilding, with a focus on Middle East, North Africa region. She plans to return to school for a Master’s in global security and governance. She likes reading, playing tennis, and generally being outside.

ties, and notably now to the still rises. I am afraid for n 1971, writer James racist hate crimes that con- my mother whenever she Baldwin and poet tinue to persist and have leaves the house. She has Nikki Giovanni sat only soared since the start brown skin and black hair; together and had a of the COVID-19 pandemic. conversation that exshe was already always a At the time of writing this target. But my fear has esplored various aspects of (February 18th. 4:37 PM calated since. After all, she race and identity. It is from this conversation, tihas Chinese blood. tled A Dialogue, that the above quote is It is not a secret that “It’s not the world that is taken. Although Baldwe have seen a stark win speaks specifical- my oppressor, because rise in anti-Asian ly about the Black psycrime. With China what the world does to as the West’s scapeche, his words can be applied to the Asian you, if the world does goat for the pandemAmerican experience ic, ethnically Chinese it to you long enough people – and anyas well, considering what the Asian Amer- and effectively enough, body that can ‘plausiican community has bly pass’ as Chinese you begin to do to your- – will be forced to dealt with since the beginning of the Unitthe associated self.” – James Baldwin face ed States: from excluconsequences. The sionary immigration harmful and racist and citizenship pracrhetoric of highly visET.), yet another anti-Asian ible individuals, however tices, to the scapegoating attack has taken place. undeserving of their platof entire communities (JapThis time in New York City, form they may be, will alanese, Chinese, Muslims where an unmasked white ways have tangible results. and Sikhs) during times man shoved a 52-year-old Harmful ones. Often deadof international conflict, Chinese American wom- ly. from the appropriation of an into the concrete so our identities as tools for hard she hit her head and Though the escalation of white supremacy through passed out. She needed anti-Asian hate crimes is the model minority myth, stitches but is safe, the very real, it is also true that to the capitalist appropriperpetrator since arrested we notice these occurrencation of our cultures, from by the NYPD. But collec- es so much more now. The the homogenization and tively, the sense of unease dissemination of security othering of our communi-

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cameras, digital and social media, and smartphones enable evidence of such crimes to be recorded so easily. We have higher visibility of white supremacist acts. This technology is a privilege. In this sense, visibility can be a privilege. At the same time, I hesitate to consider visibility as a privilege. This topic is a common response to anti-Asian crime – that the country does not care enough about Asian Americans, that the media does not care enough about Asian Americans, because such crimes do not fall under the expected binary of White versus Black. But this is such a terribly ill-informed take to have, because BIPOC are already visible in that they physically embody nonwhiteness. And while it could be true that the media more often reports on anti-Black crime (a data study I would like to see but do not have the technical capabilities for), visibility is not a privilege. It is a default state of being for BIPOC, and one that extends to the violence and death experienced by Black bodies, a traumatic reminder to Black Americans that their lives are endangered simply because of their skin color. I could argue that the hypervisibility of the deaths of Black people by the State, while an effective mechanism for solidarity, is used also by white media to instill fear and thus inaction in those within shared communities. Conversely, the invisibility of American Indigenous people is intentional, a state of being constructed by white supremacy so that generations of citizens will neither remember nor recognize the extent of genocidal violence perpetrated by the State on an entire group of people who continue to resist yet are little visible. When thinking about the politics of visibility, I am always immediately reminded

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of my own pale skin, pink tinted. Ambiguous facial features. Hair that is undeniably brown. I am grateful for this passing, for it allows me to become (in)visible. Then I think again to my mother and how she will never be afforded that same privilege. And it is through this train of thought that I wonder if similar sentiments are shared amongst others within the Asian American community. Some of us are (in)visible. When the War on Terror and 9/11 brought a surge of Islamophobia and anti-Muslim hate crimes to the West, it was South and West Asian Americans who suffered, those with brown skin, or those who were visibly Muslim or Sikh. Those who fell outside of this physical boundary were safe. For a time, they were (in)visible. But we see today that that notion of visibility, or lack of, is a falsehood. You are invisible only when white supremacy allows. Otherwise, if you lack a white body, if you practice a nonwhite culture, if you dare to go against the identity that whiteness has prescribed to you, you are forever visible. And so I return to Baldwin’s quote. A frequent response to these crimes is the call for increased police presence by both Asian Americans and non-Asian Americans alike. A shared belief that more police will deter perpetrators from harming potential victims, that the lone elderly Asian person will be safer if their public outing is fenced by uniformed watchdogs. But what of racism within the police? 2020 brought the resurgence of discussions about the actual role of police (speaking of ‘police’ as an institution) within BIPOC communities. At surface level, police presence can deter criminal acts. But we also know that police are very distinctly a white supremacist invention, an easily weaponizable function

to control a targeted community. In the immediate term, more police might mean that the lone elderly Asian person can walk to and from the convenience store safely. But as time goes on, what about others who walk down that same street? Asian Americans are not exempt from police brutality or misconduct – Kuanchung Kao, Tommy Le, and Angelo Quinto come to mind. Why are we calling for tools that serve to oppress us? In this sense, Baldwin is right. We have been oppressed so effectively that we unknowingly seek to become the oppressor. We have internalized our own oppression, and the visibility of our bodies as we call for tools that harm our own will only embolden white supremacy to exploit us for its own preservation. There is, however, a silver lining that is showing up as a response to these recent anti-Asian crimes. Community-based methods of safety are being practiced, such as the hundreds of individuals spanning generational and ethnic lines volunteering to escort elderly Asian people in Oakland, California, after the surge of Bay Area attacks. A community-focused and resourced practical solution to promote the safety of some members with-

“Because we’re not obliged to accept the world’s definitions…we have to make our own definitions and begin to rule the world that way, because kids white and black cannot use what they have been given. It’s a very mysterious endeavor, isn’t it? And the key is love.” – James Baldwin

out jeopardizing the safety of others. A small proof that there exist working solutions for policing alternatives that can keep all members of a community safe, even during the wake of targeted violence. I would like to hold onto this optimism.

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en by Writt

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Kat

ong S n erso d n A e

“As the two instruments duet, they are nearly unrecognizable as their own sounds, so smoothly how they are blended together in a perfect harmony, captivating every listener in their aural dance.” Music Dances When You Sleep Elizabeth Tsung has been playing the violin for over 20 years. She studied violin performance at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Right before she graduated (miraculously), she got into a car accident and injured her arm. After graduation, she took a hiatus from the violin. Following her hiatus, she started a YouTube channel but took time off again to heal. During that time she slowly immersed herself in playing piano, writing, and photography. Hearing one of her favorite pieces (Bach’s Ciaccona) after an extended period of not listening to it reignited her love for the violin again, and she picked up her violin again after five years. The Ciaccona also inspired her to start writing her own pieces. Elizabeth’s first album was released in October 2020 featuring both instruments in multiple voices. Her recording of the Ciaccona was just released in February 2021. Social profiles: Instagram @elizabeth.tsung Website: elizabethtsung.com

Introduce yourself! My name is Elizabeth Tsung and I’m a Gemini, introvert, and turning 30 this year. I’m a violinist, pianist, and composer based in NYC. How did you begin with music? What has your journey been like? I’ve been playing music for over 20 years. I was gifted when I was young and pushed to play the violin by my family. When I neared my teens, I genuinely started enjoying playing and attended the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor to study violin performance with my mentor, the Yehonatan Berick. Your main instruments are the piano and the violin - what do you like about these instruments? Do you approach them differently? I love piano because it hurts less. I have years of pain and inflammation from practicing all these years. Then I got into a car accident in college that made everything worse. I took a hiatus from violin for about 6 years. During that time, I explored other mediums, photography

and poetry. And then piano, which has been my refuge because my shoulders aren’t being weighed down by a foreign thing. For me, in order to play my violin I need to do many rituals, which includes lots of stretching, yoga, and basically, for me to be in a good place emotionally so I can avoid any pain. Mindfulness has also been so healing when I play. Since violin is my primary instrument, I can play basically whatever. With piano, it requires more practice on my end. But I enjoy them both equally, they’re just different. How has this time of COVID-19 affected you and your work? How have you been coping? COVID-19 is actually the reason I started writing my own music. Something about the pandemic totally lit the fire under my butt to get up and do something. It’s been a blessing. When the pandemic is over and things are safer, I definitely want to perform my own music.

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How do you approach composing your own music vs. learning a piece by someone else? I’ve actually never thought about that! Composing is difficult. I’ll write in phases. Some days I’m writing music for hours. Other days I don’t touch my instruments. It’s very black and white, but I don’t mind. What does self care mean to you? How do you take care of yourself? Self care for me means self love. Putting myself first. Being my own best friend. Loving myself first. And I honestly didn’t even realize the importance of self-love until my last breakup, where I learned I could be whole and complete all on my own. Ever since then, I’ve been so happy and loving my life.

Here are some rapid-fire questions: Your go-to coffee shop order? Grande chai latte. Yum. Favorite color? Teal. Music you’ve been listening to lately? Lots! I’m always listening to music. But lately it’s been Rachmaninov’s 2nd piano concerto and This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) by Talking Heads. Ultimate comfort food? Rice with eggs, kimchi, sesame oil and soy sauce. What has been the highlight of your day today? Enjoying my morning cup of peach tea. What is upcoming for you? My newest single was just released this month on Friday, February 19th. It’s a 14-minute cover of Bach’s Ciaccona.

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“Self care for me means self love. Putting myself first. Being my own best friend. Loving myself first.” I’m so proud of myself for doing this because it’s incredibly challenging, and my proudest accomplishment after everything I’ve been through with the car accident. I feel like with this piece, I’m 99% back to being healed. I’m also working on my first full-length album (Date to be determined).

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