2016
Back to SCHOOL
00236478.0819.04x2.14.HuntingtonLearningCenter.indd
Can Help With: • Exam Prep • Academic Skills • Subject Tutoring Study Skills
HuntingtonHelps.com Call us Today at: 4120 Quakerbridge Rd. Lawrenceville • 609-514-0600 691 Route 130, Hamilton • 609-585-1007
centraljersey.com
Vocabulary
Reading
Algebra
ACT Prep
SAT Prep
2016 Back to School
Dealing with Change
Photos by Metro Creative Services Starting high school brings concerns about academic performance affecting students’ futures.
How to help your kids when they start school, advance to middle school and begin high school s September draws nearer, angst grows higher among a particular group of students heading back to school. They would be the “first timers,” so to speak: children entering kindergarten, middle school and high school. Their familiarity of life is about to be turned-upside-down, as students enter new environments with new social guidelines, classmates, teachers and expectations. Stacy Hoffer is a child and adolescent psychotherapist with a practice in Princeton, who always includes parents along with the children during her treatment process. Her website states that her goal is to help patients “resolve problems, and move into a state of peace, coherence and harmony with themselves and in the world.” Ms. Hoffer believes there are several things students and parents at all levels can do to ease the stress of what can seem like dramatic alterations in the life of 5-year-olds, tweens and teens.
By Rich Fisher
everyone must deal with it. Thus, everyone entering a new level of schooling is feeling the same concerns. “Change is life, change is normal,” said Ms. Hoffer, who has been in practice for over 25 years. “Anxiety as a response to change is normal.” There are ways to fight those apprehensions, starting with something as simple as taking long, deep breaths. “I would also encourage kids to identify ‘Who are my safe people I can talk to,’” Ms. Hoffer added. “For some kids it’s Mom and Dad, but for others it’s an uncle or grandparent, or a school counselor. Identify who is in your support system if something’s really bugging you.”
It’s Normal to Feel Anxious
Children should also understand that they are not alone in their nerves. Change is part of life “A lot of times the child feels anxious, and then says ‘Oh what’s One of the biggest challenges, especially at the middle and wrong with me, maybe I’m not normal. It looks like everyone else high school level, is to let them know that change is constant and is fine,’” Ms. Hoffer said. “The secret is, everybody else is not fine. centraljersey.com
00235660.0819.HPH.Arlees.indd Stay Calm, It’s What’s Best For Your Child Another important parental factor in dealing with a kindergartener is to try and stay calm, while also spelling everything out for them. “If Mom and Dad are anxious, that’s not a good thing,” Ms. Hoffer said. “Mom and Dad have to contain themselves. If one parent is totally freaked out their kid is going to kindergarten, than maybe the other one should drop them off. Children absorb what we’re feeling. “With a typical 5-year-old starting kindergarten, it’s important to give them as much information as possible about the school they are going to: Where’s it located? How do I get there? What’s the routine? Who is my teacher? As much information as you can give the child ahead of time, for any age group but especially the young child, is really important.”
The Big Sixth Grade
Everybody else is feeling a million feelings too. You don’t want to pile that judgment of yourself on top of yourself, when you’re just having a normal reaction to a change in your life. “You need to validate that some of those feelings of being upset make sense, but at the same time, contain it. As a parent, it’s being able to say ‘You’re going to feel a little anxious, and that’s normal. I know you can do it and it’s going to be OK.’ We don’t just leave them flapping in the wind with their anxieties with no containment.”
What to Look For In these instances, there are several things to observe during the first few weeks of the school year. Look to see how the child is adjusting academically, emotionally, socially and physically. A parent might see symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping, or a constant refrain of “I don’t want to go to school today.” This can pertain to any level but is particularly important with kindergarteners since they are unable to verbalize their thoughts as well as older children. Ms. Hoffer suggests parents give the child two weeks and if things don’t improve, then seek professional help. She noted that “If you have talked to teachers and parents, and they say the other kids seem to be adjusting, then it might be time to at least go to a pediatrician and say ‘Hey, Bobby seems more anxious than the other children. The rest of the class seems to have settled down and we’ve tried X, Y and Z and can’t get his stomach better.’”
Once middle school arrives, most students in New Jersey are usually entering sixth grade and Ms. Hoffer says “that is the most challenging period of time for a child.” The reason being, there is a bigger focus on the social aspect of children’s lives, which leads to interpersonal drama and issues. It occurs in high school as well, but is most prevalent in grades 6 through 8. There are the issues of increasing hormones, of girls maturing quicker than boys, and of numerous elementary schools funneling into one middle school. “It’s a whole new enchilada for kids,” Ms. Hoffer said. “It’s an even more stressful transition. That kid you sat beside in reading for five years, you may not be next to him or even see him during the day. There’s this social shake-up and academic shake-up. “In many cases they go from having all their classes in the same room with very little moving around. Now, all of a sudden they go to roaming around a larger institution. They have to negotiate a new floor plan, being on time, not forgetting things and of course the dreaded learning to work the locker is very stressful for a lot of kids to figure that out. So you have a very large change of a kid going from elementary to middle school.” One advantage to this situation for parents is that children can communicate better at this age than when they were 5. Ms. Hoffer suggests asking your child how things are going by using such words as mad, sad, glad or scared “to help the child match their internal state with a word that is hopefully somewhat accurate as to what’s going on with them. Those words are simple and easy to remember for both the parent and the child. From there, one can launch to a more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary.”
Have Real Conversations With Your Kids There is also the dreaded problem of one-word answers, as kids tend to try and be cool and detached as they move nearer to adulthood. When asked ‘How was your day?’ the response is usually “Good” or “OK.” “What I suggest the parents do,” Ms. Hoffer said, “is say, ‘What was the best moment of your day today? What was the most frustrating thing that happened?’ Or, ‘Which kid is the most fun to 2016 Back to School
eat lunch with? What’s your favorite… fill-in-the-blank?’ This forces them to say more than ‘good’ or ‘OK’ or ‘bad.’ It’s your building blocks of communication, which are extremely important.’” Ms. Hoffer suggests parents also loosen their grip slightly and give a bit more leeway in sixth grade. Much of that depends on how in tune they are with their child. Does the parent have the ability to step back and observe themselves and what drives their parenting? “Sometimes parents bring in the child and are even more anxious than the child entering middle school,” she said. “They have to understand their kid is a different person than they are, with a different personality and different experiences. You don’t want your child to be a Mini Me. You don’t want them to be a narcissistic projection of yourself. You want to nurture a child to be who he or she is and (understand) that the beauty of life is that every single human being is different.” A way to incorporate positive re-enforcement is to remind a rising sixth grader how he or she conquered early changes in life, such as kindergarten, or going away to camp. “You have to review things they’ve done in the past where they’ve successfully negotiated change,” Ms. Hoffer said. “That empowers a child.”
High School – Playing For Keeps That applies to entering high school as well. Ms. Hoffer noted that many of the same adjustments made in entering middle school apply to high school, such as social change and academics. But because children are maturing, it is easier to make friends at that level and they have better coping mechanisms to handle the new challenges.
centraljersey.com
Conversely, there are other serious issues to deal with, which lead to negative peer pressure. Ms. Hoffer recommended that parents have an ongoing conversation with their children about such matters as alcohol, drugs and sex. “Ideally this conversation will be a continuation of the ones that were started in middle school, but it’s never too late to start,” she said. Another revelation is that students are suddenly aware that classroom work affects their future more than their previous nine years of schooling. “It starts to hit them ‘Oh my gosh this actually counts this year,’” Ms. Hoffer said. “This is serious, now I’m in high school.’ “Again, it’s just normalizing it for the kids. Yes the stakes are higher, but guess what? You have four years and colleges care most about seeing students improving over the four years. No one is expecting you, unless you know your kid is capable of it, to come home with straight A’s the first marking period. Parents need to say ‘This is your adjustment period. Yes it’s more serious, but it’s one day at a time we’re going to help you get there.’” The bottom line is, no matter what level and what year of school a child is entering, no one is more important to their advancement than Mom and Dad. “Kids don’t live in a vacuum and we still know from studies that what parents are doing at home has the biggest influence over child,” Ms. Hoffer said. “Media and peer pressure can play into it, but the parents still are the key influence.” For more information on Stacy Hoffer, MA, M. Div, MSW and LCSW, visit her website at www.rapidreliefcare.com, call 609-8659902 or email Stacy.Hoffer0703@gmail.com. Her home office is located less than a half mile from Princeton Shopping Center.
00236586.HPV.0819.CentralNJBallet.indd
Ballet • Jazz • Pointe • Tap Hip Hop • Contemporary Pre-Ballet • Adult Ballet • Acting
Recital & Nutcracker Per formances Ages 2 1/2 and up
NEW STUDENTS
$25 OFF
First Month’s Tuition With this coupon. Offer expires 9-15-16.
2016 Back to School
More Than 50 Years of Excellence Founded in 1960
A Division of The Frances Clark Center for Keyboard Pedagogy
Transforming Lives through Excellence in Piano Study The New School for Music Study maintains a totally non-discriminatory admissions policy and is a 501(c)3 no-profit organization as a division of The Frances Clark Center for Keyboard Pedagogoy.
Registe
NOW
r
For Pia n Lesson o s
www.nsmspiano.org • 4543 Route 27 Kingston, NJ • 609.921.2900
centraljersey.com
00236871.0819.QP.TheDanceCorner.indd
2016 Back to School
00235473.0819.FP.WindsorDermatology.indd
Dr. Jessica Simon
Adult & Pediatric Dermatologist
Dr. Simon practices all areas of dermatology and is fellowship trained in pediatric dermatology. In addition to treating the pediatric population, Dr. Simon also treats adolescents and adults. She is an active member of both the Society of Pediatric Dermatology and the American Academy of Dermatology. Dr. Simon has been recognized for her academic excellence with multiple award nominations and has presented at both national and international meetings on both adult and pediatric dermatology. Dr. Simon is also fluent in Spanish.
For appointments please call 609-443-4500 www.WindsorDermatology.com Stay Connected: centraljersey.com
A portal to your child’s education
Photo by Metro Creative Services
Online portals make it easy for parents to keep track of their child’s progress during the school year.
How to stay informed about your child’s education, By Rich Fisher without over-doing it here was a time not too long ago, where students and their parents could only monitor the child’s classroom progress four times a year. Thanks to on-line portals, that has changed, as parents can constantly track their kids’ progress from September to June. That is mostly a good thing, but it can become a negative if a parent allows it. The pros certainly outweigh the cons, starting with the fact there should be no surprises come report card time, if the portals are being used effectively. “We have this thing called marking periods and report cards, which we still do in our district,” said Joel Handler, director of technology for the Hillsborough Township Board of Education. “A hundred years ago the educational system was built to say, ‘This is how your child is doing at this point and time.’ It wasn’t a way of communicating on a regular basis to see how your child was doing. “These days, it shouldn’t be a shock to parents anymore to get 10
the report card and say ‘Wait, my child got a D in that class, why did that happen?’ They should be seeing that as time goes on and be able to correct that on a more granular level than it was in the past, because you have more regular communication going on.” Portals include students’ grades for tests, quizzes and classroom work; upcoming assignments; the value of each grade toward the overall grade; and attendance. They also feature forms that parents can sign electronically, along with the student handbook. Portals are available to both students and parents, with the only difference being that parents can access all of their children’s portals, while the student can only access their own individual records. “They can see the breakdowns of what assignments the student has done and are assigned in the future and what the grade values are in each of those,” Mr. Handler said. “Departments tend to weigh similarly, so in the science department certain tests will be weighted by a certain amount, quizzes will be a certain amount, class work will be another amount. 2016 Back to School
“It’s not just a current marking period grade, but all your assignments,” he said. “That’s where it’s used more than anywhere else. A student can say ‘Hey I took my assignment, what’s my grade? OK I didn’t do so great, let’s talk about that, let’s see what’s going on.’” It is up to each individual teacher as to how often portals are updated, Mr. Handler said some do it on a near daily basis, others do it every other week. Teachers are required to reveal how often they will do it at the start of the school year. “It should be done within every week or two, if it’s not, it’s an issue,” Mr. Handler said. “If it’s done more than that, that’s the teacher’s prerogative. But it puts an onus on them to say ‘I have to be updating this regularly because people are expecting it.’ So we tell them you lay that out clearly at the beginning. If you’re going to be updating it every 48 hours, or whenever they take an assignment, you have to stick to that, or you’ll get unforeseen circumstances.” And while the communication is key, over-communication could be detrimental. The biggest problem with portals may be over-zealous parents who make multiple visits each day. “It’s not like a ticker system for a stock,” Mr. Handler quipped. “Some people are watching it daily and thinking that way about it. ‘It’s up, it’s down, it’s up.’” That issue usually occurs with what are known as “helicopter parents” who hover around their child. “We’ve seen that in college and we’re seeing it in high schools
now, where they’re too on top of what’s going on,” Mr. Handler said. “They don’t let their child kind of grow and learn independently. They’re too on top of things. They don’t let the children speak for themselves, that kind of thing. They monitor too closely.
“Some of them are sitting there monitoring it all day long. It’s not designed for that. It’s designed for ‘Hey I’m gonna take a look, see how things are going this week, next week, and so forth.’ Even though we’re dealing with electronics that can be done at the speed of light, it’s really reflecting information about a learning process; and that is something that happens over time.” The opposite end of that issue is a parent who hardly visits at all. “You don’t want to check it just once a month,” Mr. Handler said. “That may not be enough. Your child could be slipping and you’re not aware of it. My advice to parents is it’s something you want to monitor regularly, but not daily. You don’t want to do it super frequently, but you also don’t want to do it just every so often. You need to find that balance.” Mr. Handler installed the portals in the Hillsborough district six years ago, and feels that they have accomplished their mission. “They’ve brought up that level of communication that parents and students need regularly,” he said. “It gives the parent and student a lot more context of how they’re doing and where their grades are at.” So when the report cards arrive, there should be no surprises. 00236560.HPH.0819.GeorgeSchool.indd
centraljersey.com
11
00235003.HPV.0819.YWCAPrinceton.indd Princeton Community Family Learning Center LET PCFLC’s CUB SCHOOL BE YOUR CHILD’S “FIRST HOME FOR LEARNING”
PCFLC’s www.lovethecub.com A limited number of both P/T and F/T spots remain for the 2016/2017 academic year Tumbling & Ballet during the school day Multi-lingual ton Prince ity rs Unive Grad y& Facult ent Stud t! un Disco
We have ongoing enrollment for children age 18 mos through and including 6 year olds; we offer full-day kindergarten We also offer nanny & au-pair back up care, drop-ins, short-term & after school care on a first-come, firstserved basis.
“Count on us for all your child care needs!”
16 All Saints’ Road, Princeton, NJ on the campus of All Saints’ Church
609-454-3637 • www.lovethecub.com We are a NJ-State Licensed center
LF
609-890-9164
12
2016 Back to School
00236236.0819.6.0x5.03.HeroesAcademy.indd Advertorial
HEROES Academy for the Gifted 317 George Street Suite 210; New Brunswick www.NJgifted.org Established 2007 Students Ages 6 – 17 What makes us unique: HEROES Academy is an intellectually stimulating environment where students’ personal growth is maximized by accelerated learning and critical thinking. Our students enjoy the opportunity to study advanced topics in classrooms that move at an accelerated pace. At HEROES, we allow students to enroll in classes based on their tested math and reading ability rather than limiting students based on their age. Ideal HEROES student: Classes at HEROES Academy require dedication and enthusiasm from both the student and parent. The curriculum at HEROES places an emphasis on critical thinking and reasoning skills with a focus on Albert Einstein’s teaching that, “Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think
centraljersey.com
13
Saturday October 1st 1-3 pm www.VillaVictoria.org
Villa Victoria Academy has provided the young woman of Bucks County and central New Jersey area with high academic standards, an enriched arts curriculum and a challenging, supportive environment since 1933. Come see why Villa girls thrive.
609-882-1799 ext. 19
• Newborn – 13 Years Old • Experienced, Certified Teachers • Creative Curriculum • Before/After Care • We Provide AM/PM Snacks • Summer Camps
908-431-0550 • Call For A Tour! Hours: 6:30am - 6:00pm Parent’s Night Out – Every 3rd Friday of the month CPR/First Aid certified Webcam in each room Sibling Discount
313 Triangle Road, Hillsborough, NJ 08844 www.bloomingheartschildcare.com 14
Visit us on Facebook
2016 Back to School
00237050.0819.HPH.CambridgeSchool.indd
centraljersey.com
15
RIEPHOFF SAWMILL
ESTABLISHED IN 1964 ON THE CUTTING EDGE
e provide a wide variety of custom sawn items which include: crane mats, transition mats, blocking, shoring, wedges, chocks, outrigger pads, oak planking for trailers, truck side boards and custom ramps. For the landscaping industry, we produce tree stakes and mulch. We also carry oak fence boards, treated fence posts and sawdust for horse bedding. We buy standing timber of all species.
763 Route 524 Allentown NJ 08501 Phone: 609-259-7265 • Fax: 609-259-7267
16
2016 Back to School
Premiere Early Childhood Education designed to prepare your child not only for school but for life. Nurturing children ages 6 weeks through 6 years • Child Centered Learning • Academic Curriculum • Infant Program • Summer Camps • Music •Spanish •Yoga
• LEED Certifi ed Facility • Outdoor Education • Flexible Schedules • Before and Aftercare • Financial Assistance
Schedule your personalized tour to find out what’s waiting for your child! 4 Tree Farm Road Pennington, NJ 08534 admissionsinfo@penningtonmontessori.org
(609) 737-1331 • www.penningtonmontessori.org
James J. Cally, D.M.D. Cosmetic and Family Dentistry
Personalized care for you and your family as well as modern up-to-date equipment you can trust.
Gentle care for the sensitive patient. Emergencies Welcomed • Most Insurance Accepted. Saturday & Evening Appointments Available • IMPLANTS • PORCELAIN LAMINATES • NITROUS OXIDE COMPUTER GENERATED X-RAYS INTRA-ORAL CAMERA & VISION EXPLANATION CEILING MOUNTED TV’S
Montgomery Knoll Complex, 192 Tamarack Circle Rt. 206, Skillman, NJ
609-924-8300
www.mysmiledoc.com centraljersey.com
17
00236819.0810.HPH.Productive.indd
• Residential • Commercial • Industrial • Excavating • Grade Work • Paving Blocks Mark Harrison Owner/Operator NJ13VH00660500
877.884.7325 Free Estimates
Pool Closings starting at
$289
• Safety Covers • Pool Openings & Closings • Custom In-ground Vinyl Liner & Concrete Pool Installations • In Ground Vinyl Liner Replacements • Tile, Coping & Concrete Renovations • Complete Backyard Renovations • Waterproofing • Equipment Installations & Repairs • Salt Generators • Weekly Maintenance Program
Specializing In Safety Cover Installations
732-398-9300
78 Major Road Monmouth Junction, NJ 08852
Visit us at afterhourspoolservice.com • ahps@verizon.net 18
2016 Back to School
centraljersey.com
19
20
2016 Back to School