The Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship

The foundation of a relationship is often not thought about until after the relationship has already begun. This means we usually put the cart before the horse. While this may seem counter intuitive it’s actually not a huge problem. The couple just needs to pause to discuss their foundation and come to an understanding of each other’s highest values.

The aim of this discussion is for the couple to get on the same page regarding the ingredients. For a high reaching, long lasting, happy and fruitful relationship I recommend the following foundational ingredients:

1) Unconditional Love

2) Intimacy

3) Friendship

4) Unwavering commitment

5) Jesus Christ (The Bible)

These ingredients combined produces a foundation just as solid as the Burj Khalifa’s. Each of you reading this article may interpret these words differently. However, without the correct interpretation these words will be of no assistance to you.

So, I’m going to explain the meaning behind them. Honestly, each of these ingredients are full-length article topics. So, in the interest of my word limit I’ll briefly introduce each. In future articles I’ll go into deeper detail regarding their importance.

Unconditional Love

Now you may not agree with what I’m about to say. But I’m speaking from the basis of my experience. Keep in mind this is the worst relationship advice ever. The only love there is, is unconditional love.

It may be expressed in many ways, but the basis of every loving action needs to be unconditional. Otherwise, it is transactional and that can get messy unless the terms and conditions were previously discussed and agreed upon. Now, if you don’t want your relationship to feel like business more than pleasure then I recommend unconditional love.

To love unconditionally is to choose to give loving actions to your partner regardless of how they look, what they think, how you feel, or what they may have done or not done. It is to detach your emotions and their actions as influencers on your love.

That sounds impossible, doesn’t it? I mean all our lives we have allowed our emotions to be the main influencer of how we love and who we love. Matter of fact, the feeling of love has been the main thing used to define what love is for most people. However, if you read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 you’ll see there is no point in that scripture where love is described as a feeling. As a matter of fact, I have yet to find 1 scripture that describes love as a feeling in the entire Bible.

If you are a Christian, I believe the main thing influencing your definition of love should be the Bible, not an RnB song or a romantic comedy, I’m just saying.

Embracing the Bible’s definition of love will allow you to appreciate just how painful love is. This will detach you from the Disney fairy tale notion that love is sweet and always wonderful. This new understanding will come in clutch when your relationship faces turmoil from within either because of you or your partner. Being able to maintain kindness toward the person who offends us the most is emotional maturity at its peak. As I said in my previous article.

“We need to recognize our own fallibility as humans and become so accepting of it that we effortlessly extend grace to the fallibility of others.” I will surely dive deeper into this ingredient in future articles.