FROM FEELING BROKEN TO LIVING ON PURPOSE:

5 TIPS TO TAKE YOUR MESS AND TURN IT INTO PURPOSE

By Eston Swaby Confidence & Money Mindset Coach

Someone told me once that broken things can be blessed things too and that there is purpose in your mess.

At that time I could not see how my messed up story could be valuable and life changing, I could not see how it all leads to purpose.

All I could was feeling rejected by friends, church family and females, all I could think about was the emotional, verbal and sexual abuse, all I could think about was the relationships that went wrong and childhood wounds.

When all you can see when you look in the mirror are all the mistakes you have, failures, and broken pieces in your life, it's hard to see how all the pieces can come together to create something beautiful and impactful.

After walking through my own valley of deaths and helping so many people as a life coach to overcome their own pains, reclaim their self-worth and have confidence to pursue their purpose, here are 5 tips on how you can do the same:

1. Stop Seeing Yourself As Broken

and Messed Up. Know that you are not broken, you are being position for purpose. You are not broken, what’s happening is that God is positioning you for a much greater purpose. Believe me, I know its easy to look at your story and feel as if something is wrong with you, you are too broken, or ask God ‘Why me?” You wish your life was different, I get it. But the reason why you have your story is because God have chosen you to run this race and he wants to create something beautiful out of your pain.

What is happening now is that you are gaining the experience, the character, the knowledge that you will need to walk in the purpose God has called you for. It was going through rejections, abused, failures, and struggling with body image and low self-esteem for most of my life that position me to be a life coach and author today.

2. Give yourself the gift of Self-Love. The most important relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves. And it is the one that can easily be damaged and overlooked especially when we go through adversity.

I know that sometimes when you look in the mirror, what you see is someone that is broken, not good enough and unworthy, but that is not who you are.

Stop criticizing yourself. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and so when you make mistakes or do or say something you shouldn’t have, be kind to yourself. Your just human after all Start praising or speaking kindly to yourself. Praise builds you up, criticism tears you down and you have already been a lot in your life for you to be against you.

Take care of yourself and practice self-care. You are number, start making you your number one priority.

What would happen if you start appreciating yourself more, if you start being kind to yourself when you make mistakes or fail instead of beating yourself up all the time?

Focus on being the best you can be. That could look like not dimming or making yourself looks small so as not to offend others, or pretending to be someone you are not.

Here’s what to do to start loving yourself:

Go in front of the mirror naked and start loving every part of you, even the parts of you that you don’t really like, for example your nose or your feet. Tell each part of you something nice as if you were speaking to someone you love

There will always be things about yourself that you will want to change about yourself, but that’s part of the growth work we all get to do. Your job is to love yourself through the process.

3. Finding the Gold in Your Story

Start looking for the gold, or the lessons in your story by asking yourself, “what are the lessons in my story?” and “how can I use this to add value to my own life and that of others?” When that happens you stop being a victim of your story.

It was asking these two questions that led to my first book, An Empowered Life: A Daily Dose of Inspirational Messages for SelfDevelopment and Transformation and being a life coach. Find the lessons and ask God how you can use your story to impact others.

4. Believe That You Are Worthy and Good Enough

Right now there is something you could be doing with your life but you are not because you believe that your story, your life experiences, have somehow disqualified you. You don’t see yourself as good enough or even worthy of the assignment God has called you to do.

I totally get it because I have been there. I could have been speaking long before I started but my inner critic talked me out of it. I never saw myself as worthy and good enough. I thought “who would ever want to listen to me or hire me to coach them?

5. Start taking action and surrounding yourself with people who can help you to soar

Two of the key things I did was I started taking actions even before I started believing that I had anything of value to share, and by doing that I started surrounding myself with people that were further along than I was. As I started doing that, I started to raise my own belief about myself and my standard.

Who would ever want to read my book? They must be crazy.” When I finally had the courage, and borrowed a friend’s belief about me, I went from being sacred and insecure to feeling confident and helping so many people to transform their lives.

You don’t need to know all the steps to take, start taking the first step you can think of and then keep taking the next best step. When you fail, learn from the failure, refine the steps and keep going. As you do, you will start surrounding yourself with people who can help. That could be hiring a coach or getting in a community of likeminded people who are on the same path you are on.

Your inner critic is not the only story you can subscribe, there is another story. What I have discovered is that you are perfect for your assignment, even in your imperfections. Even in your mess up condition, God has called you and he has qualified you for purpose.

The road to go from feeing broken, feeling like a mess, to living on purpose will not always be an easy one, but it will be well worth it. It starts with knowing that you are not broken, that there is nothing wrong with you to finding the lessons and then using the lessons you have learned to create something powerful. As you do, you become unstoppable.