SMASH THE STIGMA
Made by volunteers, for volunteers
1
Welcome It’s getting hot in here! Welcome to the summer edition of Smash The Stigma, a new quarterly publication from the volunteers of PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide. It is written by the volunteers of PAPYRUS and is aimed at current PAPYRUS volunteers, and prospective ones, too.
The team for this issue are:
Smash The Stigma is our new quarterly online publication, and we’re looking for PAPYRUS volunteers to help bring future issues to life. Please use the links provided throughout the newsletter to get involved!
Mike Barber
The aim is to provide a wide range of articles covering a whole host of issues surrounding suicide, as well as provide insights into a variety of topics close to our hearts, such as self-care, Pride and poetry. We hope to stimulate discussion, providing informative and enjoyable insights and stories from within the PAPYRUS volunteer family. We hope that you enjoy reading this edition of Smash The Stigma and look forward to any future contributions.
2
Kaleh Ali
Alice Kidd Mark Rigby Bibi Wood Thanks also go to Imogen Capper Lauren Greenland and, Lewis Marriott
Contents 4 News 6 Volunteer News and Views 12 Creative 14 PAPYRUS with Pride 22 Self-care Spotlight and Support 25 PAPYRUS Pinboard
3
News
PAPYRUS works with volunteers from across the UK – here’s an insider’s insight into what’s been happening in each of our PAPYRUS regions and nations, over the past few months...
NORTHERN IRELAND Over the past few months, our Northern Ireland office has introduced two new staff members – Michael and Michelle. Michael will be the main point of contact for our volunteers, so I’m sure you’ll be hearing a lot more from him over the coming months, regarding volunteering in Northern Ireland. We’re also really excited to announce that our first ever volunteer meeting in the North has taken place – some brilliant ideas were shared and we’re looking forward to what’s to come. Thank you to our wonderful volunteers who attended on the day.
WALES We have been looking forward to the end of lockdown and that is a slow process. However, as places open up, volunteers across Wales have been out promoting PAPYRUS – our PAPYRUS posters were spotted in libraries and leisure centres across north-east Wales recently and volunteers have been getting out and about. One of our volunteers recently returned to her old school to talk about mental health issues and we have some exciting work under way with our university volunteers looking at how better to support student mental health. Of course, everyone wants things to open up again fully so that they can complete the ASIST training and start delivering the PAPYRUS presentations again, visit events and so on. In the meantime, we are also organising an all-Wales HOPEWALK for October which should be big news. Hopefully by the next newsletter, things will seem a bit more normal again. Fingers are crossed!
4
NORTH WEST Due to the overwhelming interest in volunteering in the northwest, our exciting update is that we have been able to hire a new Volunteer Coordinator; we are extremely excited to welcome Lydia to the team. Opportunities have been slightly limited whilst we have been in the process of hiring, but these should start to open up again in the next few months. We really appreciate everyone’s patience during this time and look forward to working with everyone who recently expressed an interest. In the meantime, we have seen some really great work with lots of awareness raising and amazing posts on social media. The launch of HOPEWALK has also been an exciting way for north-west volunteers to get involved, we are hoping to see lots of walks this October.
WEST MIDLANDS The highlight of the spring was delivering many SP-ARK talks across the West Midlands. We spoke to such a variety of people from all walks of life, including those from Shropshire sports clubs and Job Centre coaches and counsellors. We also enjoyed connecting through social media with volunteers using LinkedIn to spread the word about PAPYRUS. Sadly, so many events that we would usually be at this summer have been cancelled, so we are making videos to promote PAPYRUS virtually. We continued to stay connected to one another through Zoom meetings, and hosted HOPELINEUK adviser Rebecca at our May meeting. Rebecca showed us how a safety plan works using the new HOPELINK platform – it was fantastic to hear how this new technology works.
LONDON The London team has been growing and changing, with a new Regional Manager, Ioana, and plenty of new passionate volunteers recruited. The team have also been wrapping up projects, including the Innholders Project in which training was delivered to different faith groups; and Thrive LDN, in which training was delivered across different London Boroughs. London has been busy training volunteers alongside the West Midlands and it’s been great being able to work across the regions and meet volunteers from different areas. The London volunteers have also been busy raising awareness, sharing their stories on social media and continuing to help shatter the stigma surrounding suicide.
5
Volunteer News and Views The art of reflection: What we’ve been up to over the past three months… By Kaleh Ali, London volunteer Since our last newsletter, we have been so excited to make another one for you guys. Your positive feedback and reviews left us with a big smile. In this new article, I will be talking to you about my 5K May walk, Stress Awareness Month and the challenges the lockdown lift may bring some people. As some of us may be aware, this May, PAPYRUS teamed up with ‘Run for Heroes’. The creators of the 5k lockdown challenge. It was my first time participating, a very rewarding and memorable experience. The best thing about this 5k May challenge is that you do not need to just run it, you can cycle it or walk it too. I chose to walk the 5k in my local area, I took many pictures on my journey of the photo-worthy nature that made my walk a calming and reflective one. The walk not only allowed me to give back by donating £5, but it encouraged me to go on more elsewhere in London. As my 5k walk made me feel so tranquil and peaceful I began to take more walks. I drove to Greenwich where I went on walks by the water, I was able to see many beautiful, astonishing and breathtaking landscapes and sites.
If you’re 07860 03996
6
6
“
I would urge anyone looking to raise money, who enjoys walking, running or cycling to join this challenge. The 5K May challenge happens every year. However, if you missed out this year or just want to fundraise, there are many more opportunities to help out and fundraise. Many of the fundraising options include sports events and challenges, for which PAPYRUS provides advice and support.
”
On the topic of relaxation and calmness, April was Stress Awareness Month. During this important month a lot of awareness is made about the causes and solutions to handling stress. According to the Mental Health Foundation, 74% of UK adults have felt so stressed at some point over the last year they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope. This highlights the importance of organisations and charities raising awareness of stress as it can be so damaging to someone’s mental, physical and emotional health. The importance of strategies and techniques being used to lower stress levels are so important. One of the many strategies for controlling stress levels includes Stress Less cards. Stress Less is a pack of 100 cards that relay useful advice and tips on how to manage stress and stay positive. This is a unique and different way of approaching stress management. The colours and images throughout the card set have a hugely calming ambiance. Additionally, another way a person can manage their stress is by talking to someone. Talking to someone whether that be over the phone or in person, allows you to confide what may be causing them stress, through this they may also be able to explore ways of dealing with the stresses. PAPYRUS’s suicide prevention helpline, HOPELINEUK, is open every day from 9am to midnight. HOPELINEUK is open to anyone who is having suicidal thoughts and for yourself, if you’re worried about somebody who is experiencing thoughts of suicide .
e aged 35 or under, and experiencing thoughts of suicide, call HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141, text 67 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org – open 9AM to midnight, every day of the year. We are also here for anybody concerned for a young person who might be experiencing thoughts of suicide.
7
HOPE is beautiful By Mark Rigby, London volunteer
The world will be different when we emerge from the pandemic because we will be different. The differences between our prepandemic selves and our new selves may be difficult to notice in some of us, but I have no doubt that they’ll be there in some small way. In others, the changes that have taken place within us will be more significant. So, this is my first hope: may our changes be for the better. May the sum of our collective changes allow a new brighter world to blossom into existence. Yet for every hope, I have a worry. Sometimes I have ten worries for every hope. Sometimes I have ten hopes for every worry. This is life, and this is okay. My worries can spiral until I drown within them, but my hopes can rise higher and higher until I’m soaring through the sky. Hope is beautiful.
8
I didn’t bake banana bread during the pandemic. I didn’t get fit. I didn’t learn a new language. I didn’t write that novel. I didn’t play the ukulele. And because I didn’t do all these things and more, I panic. I consume myself with guilt. What did I do with all that extra time during lockdown? Well, I survived one of the craziest times of our collective lives, that’s what. I got through each day. That is enough. That is always enough, pandemic or not. Life can be tough. Pandemic life can be even tougher. And when all this is over, it will be enough to have simply made it from one side to the other relatively intact and ready to step back into life.
“What did I do with all that extra time during lockdown? Well, I survived one of the craziest times of our collective lives, that’s what. I got through each day. That is enough.”
My relationship with the pandemic and all it has bestowed on the world is mixed. I often feel guilty when contemplating the good it has brought, particularly when I consider any direct positives it has had on my own life. Yet no sooner do these thoughts begin to uplift me, I’m reminded of the destruction it’s caused around the globe. The guilt and doom close in until I then see all the negatives and upset it’s also caused to my own life. My head turns upside down and back again until it settles on thoughts of hope.
But am I ready to step back into life? My mind is mixed on that too. The pandemic pressed pause on the world, certainly my own. By the time it arrived I was physically and mentally exhausted from city life. I was taking small steps out of a catastrophic burn-out. The chaos of which rushes through my head when I think back to it. I’m forever crushed inside a sweaty tube carriage.
Yet sometimes I worry that there aren’t hidden blessings in tragedy. I worry that I merely scan for hope, and try and re-order things so that positives may be rescued. A technique that helps me to move on. To make the best of things. I worry I’m kidding myself. Or is this in fact something to be commended and a healthy sign of resilience? And perhaps hope does exist and I’m not making it up at all. Perhaps the hope I find is true and good, and beautiful.
Through the windows I see the blur of all the disgustingly expensive coffee I ever drank. I see the energy takers and time wasters. I see myself fighting, shedding time and dignity. The rent was too high to hold onto them. I see their suits. I see worn out faces – I catch a glimpse of my own. I see the toil and youth I devoted to my master called Ambition. I see the beautiful struggle fade into simply… the struggle. Ten years of desperately chasing career dreams had built and broken me.
There had been some wonderful times, truly exhilarating adventure-filled years, but somewhere along the way I had lost sight of me. I’d lost sight of the world. I didn’t feel a part of it anymore. I didn’t feel a part of my own body. I’d put it through the mill and it was leaving me bit by bit. I felt so bad for my body – what had I done to it? I retreated like a wounded animal. Leaving the house was an undertaking ridden with anxiety. I was nervous all the time. I spoke too much. I was clammy. A lot. But then the pandemic came. Relief. I stepped off the carriage. I’d been gifted an excuse. I could stop and nobody would judge me.
“So, my concluding hope therefore, is that we’re all kinder to ourselves once we emerge from this.”
So – no, I didn’t bake banana bread – but I did pause. There have been significant challenges along the way, but there has also been this gift. There has been time. Time for reflection. Time to return to myself. And I can already see that in time I will return to the world too. It’s been a process. There’s been time to recover, time to heal. Quite simply, time. Unnoticed, subtle, free of pressure and judgement, a wonderful change has taken place. And so that is what I did with my lockdown. I changed. A change that will set me up for the rest of my life. I will be kinder to myself from now on. I’m no good to the world if I don’t take care of myself first. There is healing to be done on this planet we share and there are wider hopes to reach for – yet they all start with each and every one of us. So, my concluding hope therefore, is that we’re all kinder to ourselves once we emerge from this. I hope that people don’t lose sight of who they are and their truth. If we all pause once in a while and take the time to check in with ourselves, if we all live our truths and don’t compromise them in the ways that we used to, then the new world that awaits us will be a better one. A healthier one, a happier one. A kinder one.
9
Summary of and thoughts on recent research at Cambridge University By ML Barber, London volunteer
British Medical Journal:
“Around 70% of young people who report selfharming or suicidal thoughts are within normal or non-clinical range of mental distress.” BMJ Open 2020 10:e032494
Link: Most young people with increased suicide risk only display ‘mild to moderate’ mental distress – study (cam.ac.uk)
Research was carried out among a large number of subjects, in two groups of young people, through questionnaires to analyse levels of “Common Mental Distress”. Data was also collected from the samples of young people regarding thoughts of suicide and self-harm (non-suicidal). Common Mental Distress is measured by considering general mental health problems, including anxiety, depression and similar traits. As I would expect, the subjects with severe mental distress were also identified as the ones at the highest risk of suicide. However, for the majority of those experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harming evidence of only “mild to moderate mental distress” was reported. It is imperative to point out that, regardless of the level of mental distress, if an individual is experiencing suicidal thoughts, early intervention is of the utmost importance. Dealing with suicidal thoughts first; this affected approximately 10% of cohort 1, of whom 78% fell within the mild to moderate range of mental distress and affected about 5% of cohort 2, with 66% falling within that range. For Non-suicidal Self injury, the figures were about 9% of cohort 1, with 76% within the mild to moderate range of mental distress and about 12% of cohort 2, with 71% within that range.
10
The figures illustrate the extent of the problem of suicidal thoughts and of self-harming and highlight the difficulties encountered by young people. It may be that a small proportion of the larger group of those suffering from mild to moderate mental distress who take their lives or self-harm will be a larger number than a larger proportion of the smaller group who suffer from severe mental distress. Consequently, suicide prevention measures should focus on the whole population, not just those classified as “at risk”, such as those with severe mental distress. In the same way as we promote healthy eating for everybody, we should be promoting things which have a positive effect on mental health, such as self-care, for the whole population. Of course, we still need to support those most at risk and this support must be ongoing in order to achieve positive outcomes for these people. But, in addition to this, we should all prioritise positive outcomes for children and young people and small incremental improvements in the mental health of the whole population might result in better suicide prevention in general. Research such as this is important because it highlights what can be done to help prevent suicide and generally raises awareness of the issues. It can also be reassuring to those who do experience thoughts of suicide because they will realise that they are not alone, there are others experiencing similar thoughts. Further to that, should they then seek the early intervention that we recommend, maybe by calling a helpline such as HOPELINEUK (0800 068 4141), they will not feel that they will be the only ones doing so. In addition, those who are concerned about such people can confirm that thoughts of suicide are perhaps more common that they thought. It is also comforting to know that just because thoughts of suicide are present, this does not necessarily imply extreme levels of mental distress. Two fundamental messages from this research are that suicide is preventable and that improvement of mental health for everybody should be a priority. I would encourage volunteers to read the article. Reference: Polek E, Neufeld SAS, Wilkinson P, Goodyer I, St Clair M, Prabhu G, Dolan RJ, Bullmore ET, Fonagy P, Stochl J, Jones PB. How do the prevalence and relative risk of non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal thoughts vary across the population distribution of common mental distress (the p factor)? Observational analyses replicated in two independent UK cohorts of young people. BMJ Open 2020;10:e032494. doi: 10.1136/bmjopen-2019-032494
Top five hopes for a post-pandemic world By, Mike, London volunteer 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
That world leaders will work together to try to solve global problems Fairer distribution of wealth, in particular for countries where there is much poverty and suffering Greater tolerance Easier access to essential services Better mental health for everybody
11
Creative How to draw a spiral - Golden Ratio By ML Barber, London volunteer If you’re looking for a fun and easy activity to pass the time while you enjoy the sunshine, why not learn how to draw a spiral? Whether it’s drawing, painting, knitting or colouring, getting creative and unleashing your inner artist is a great form of self-care to help manage day-to-day stresses.
In Renaissance art, the golden ratio was widely used, because it was pleasing to the eye. This is no coincidence. Examples include: da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, The Last Supper, Mona Lisa. Other artists include Botticelli and Michelangelo. The golden ratio appears naturally in the world of nature and science, the spiral in a sunflower, the spiral in a galaxy, generally any spiral originates from the golden ratio. The Italian Mathematician, Fibonacci, developed a sequence when looking at the population growth of rabbits in an ideal situation. This started with 1,1 with any number in the sequence being obtained by adding the previous two. So, the sequence is 1,1,2,3,5,8,13 etc This sequence can also be used to find the golden ratio, by dividing one number in the sequence by the previous one. The further into the sequence you are, the closer the number gets to the golden ratio. Follow the process below to construct an approximate spiral, by applying the above sequence
12
1. Take a piece of squared paper and draw a one by one square. On the top, draw another one by one square. You now have a two by one rectangle.
2. Now against the left-hand longer side, draw a two by two square, you now have a three by two rectangle.
3. Now draw a three by three square against the bottom to obtain a five by three rectangle.
4. Now a five by five square on the right to give an eight by five rectangle.
5.You are now back to drawing a square on the top. But now it will be an eight by eight square, obtaining a thirteen by eight rectangle.
This process can be continued until you run out of space! You can draw an approximate spiral, starting at the bottom left-hand corner of the original square, draw a quarter circle to the opposite corner (which coincides with the bottom right hand corner of the second square). Draw a quarter circle from here to the opposite corner of the second square (which coincides with the top right-hand corner of the third square (two by two). Continue this process. If you want to investigate the mathematical value of the ratio, for each rectangle divide the longer side by the shorter side (Use a calculator if needed). The length of the longest side of the next rectangle is simply found by adding together the length and breadth of the current rectangle. The shorter side of the next rectangle is equal to the longer side of the current one. If you were to continue this process indefinitely, then the larger your rectangle, the closer that the ratio will get to the golden ratio. For the better mathematicians, see if you can form a quadratic equation and solve it to find the exact value.
13
PAPYRU
Wha
By Ryan McKendrick, London volunteer Every great change in history has come from someone standing up in the face of adversity and demanding their human rights. From the Suffragettes to the Civil Rights movement, the power has been within the people, to fight for the change that is needed. LGBTIQ+ rights are no different. In 1969, patrons of New York City’s Stonewall Inn fought back against systematic oppression when resisting a violent raid of the underground LGBTIQ+ nightclub. Protestors, such as Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, risked their lives to protect their community; an act which influenced LGBTIQ+ rights movements across the globe. On the oneyear anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, on the 28 June 1970, LGBTIQ+ protestors in New York City took back to the streets to march for the rights of their community – an event now referred to as Pride. 51 years later and Pride is now celebrated across the globe with over 150 festivals worldwide, and our perceptions of Pride have transformed from protest to party. Our huge celebration of Pride in the UK is signified by rainbow flags, blasting pop songs, and glittering drag queens.
14
But as a trans person living in the UK it can often be difficult to find something to celebrate. As funding for trans-healthcare is being cut left right and centre, the public, news outlets, and public figures feel qualified to debate whether we can play sports, pee in public toilets, access essential surgery, and even if we can simply exist. While for some the fight may be over, for many it has just begun. As a PAPYRUS volunteer, it is easy for me to see the real impact the UK’s Trans Panic has on my community, 48% of trans people in Britain report having attempted suicide at some point, with 84% having considered it. PAPYRUS offers support for young people who experience these thoughts, and Pride is a time where we can consider where that support is needed most. As a mental health advocate and PAPYRUS volunteer I will fight for my community’s right to receive adequate mental health support, through a time where it can often feel the whole world is against us. For me Pride may be a party, but it will always be a protest.
US WITH PRIDE
at does Pride mean to you?
By Camille de Guerry de Beauregard, London volunteer On 1 June, I went out to my farmer’s market – it takes barely two minutes on foot, there and back. I didn’t see many people along the way, 15 or 20 at most and yet, I was nervous. The reason? A little Pride flag pinned to my t-shirt. It was exhilarating, that such a small token could be out there, seen and acknowledged. It felt like saying, “hey, I’m queer!” to anyone who noticed it. When I came out as bi to my dad, he said “you don’t know that.” When I told my mum, she said “I’d rather you weren’t.” I think I was half expecting someone to approach me, point to the pin and say “no, you’re not.” I think that’s why Pride Month is important to me. Seeing rainbow flags all over my Instagram, this wave of love and understanding flooding my social media, saying to the world, “yep, we’re still here.” It gave me the courage to go outside and show my pride. If anyone in the market happened to be in this community, I hope seeing my flag made them smile behind their mask. I hope they heard the message; Pride month is for you.
By Guy Beckett, London volunteer My sexuality has always been at the centre of my own mental health issues. I have always struggled being confident with my true self and I am in constant fear of objection and rejection. To me, Pride is about overcoming this fear, and not just accepting who I am, but being proud of who I am and what makes me different. Mental health issues disproportionately affect members of the LGBTQ+ community and 44% of LGBTQ+ people have experienced thoughts of suicide. The overwhelming support and acceptance our community receive during Pride month has such a positive impact and makes me feel more at ease with who I am and gives me the confidence to be myself. I joined PAPYRUS to help me be more confident and comfortable with who I am through sharing my story and being more open about my mental health. I hope this will help others with being able to share their own stories and overcome their own mental health issues.
15
RAINBOW By ML Barber, London volunteer Before the rainbow was used as a symbol for LGBTQ+ community, a pink triangle was used, as seen on the album Age of Consent by Bronski Beat (released in 1984). This symbol was the one used for gay men by the German Nazi regime in the concentration camps during the war. A pink triangle pointing downwards was sewn onto the shirts of gay men in the concentration camps. In the 1970s, the symbol was reclaimed to identify liberation by the first gay rights organisation in Germany, HUW. Harvey Milk was the first openly-gay politician elected to public office in California, he was elected to the board of supervisors, the legislative body. He commissioned Gilbert Baker to create the first rainbow flag for the 1978 San Francisco Pride. In the original flag, the colours were as follows: hot pink for sexuality; red for life; orange for healing; yellow for sunlight; green for nature; blue for art; indigo for harmony or serenity; and violet for the human spirit. The flag has undergone transitions. Hot pink was dropped because it could not be mass produced at the time. Indigo was dropped for a protest parade when Harvey Milk was assassinated. More recently, in 2017, Philadelphia added black and brown to further promote inclusiveness and to support ethnic members of the LGBTQ+ community. The flag is intended to represent inclusiveness and should never be used as a symbol of queer versus straight. In most cases, it is represented by the six colours, red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple . I think the Pride flag it is a brilliant symbol and hope that one day, everyone that wants to can wear it can do so freely and be proud to do so.
16
To be queer is to be powerful By Alice Kidd, London volunteer Pride month is characterised as a time of joy and excitement, an opportunity to celebrate the collective histories and identities of queer people. For queer folks themselves however, Pride month can also evoke feelings of anger, resentment and isolation as the battle against systemic oppression and discrimination continues long after June is over. These battles, including homophobia, transphobia, social isolation and rejection, can take a massive toll on the mental health of an LGBTQIA+ individual. A recent study by the charity Stonewall found that in 2020 alone, one in eight LGBTQIA+ people aged 18-24 had attempted to end their life, and almost half of trans people had suffered suicidal thoughts. Identifying as LGBTQIA+ however, is also a greatly liberating existence which can have an immensely positive effect on an individual’s life and mental wellbeing. Speaking to Smash the Stigma about their lived experience as a non-binary queer person is Lowie. Lowie Trevena is a non-binary, 23-year-old journalist and writer living in Bristol. They have blossomed in various editorial roles writing passionately about the LGBTQIA+ community, government policy and media, and in 2020, were named one of Bristol’s 36 most influential LGBT+ people in Bristol by BristolLive. They are also a passionate advocate for taking care of our mental health, and generally an all-round lovely person.
Lowie Trevena. Lowie uses they/them pronouns
17
Lowie, as a non-binary queer person, what does Pride month mean to you? Pride month is an opportunity to not only celebrate the diversity of the queer community, but to acknowledge the people that fought for the rights LGBTQ+ people have in 2021. It’s also a protest from queer people, recognising the ongoing activism that needs to happen for true equality, both in the UK and throughout the world.
If you’re comfortable, would you mind sharing a little about your personal identity journey and perhaps any way in which your mental health has suffered as a result of coming out, or of the behaviour of others?
Mentally, it’s a challenge! There’s a lot of trauma that comes from the queerphobia that UK society continues to perpetuate, from using “so gay” as an insult in secondary school, to the rampant transphobia that the media continues to spew out. Coming out can be traumatic; negative reactions from people you’re close to have a really long-lasting impact. There’s also a darker side to it when it comes to mental health. I can only speak for myself, but I truly tried to destroy myself in the early days of realising I was different and discovering it was because I was queer. We’re still taught, as LGBTQ+ people, that we are lesser, wrong, need fixing, and worse.
The journey of gender and sexuality is strange. It’s an ongoing process. I came out as pansexual aged 16 and as non-binary aged 18, and I now call myself queer. At 23, I’m still ‘coming out’ all the time and dealing with the long-lasting impacts, emotionally and mentally, of this and of having to start and continue a gender and sexuality journey. Emotionally, it’s exhausting to regularly ‘out’ yourself to new people, have people continually use the wrong pronouns and to fight to be taken seriously as someone who isn’t a man or a woman, but a gender diverse person.
“
It’s so powerful to be unapologetically yourself, even in a world that is still learning to love you, and a society that is unsure of queerness.
18
”
Thank you for sharing that, Lowie. How does embracing your identity positively impact your mental wellbeing? Despite all the challenges that come along with queerness, being LGBTQ+ is truly something I am so thankful for. It’s opened doors to communities, friendships and activism. It’s a ready-made group of people who are (on the whole) lovely. It was definitely challenging as a teenager, but as a young adult I find power and positivity in my identity. It’s so powerful to be unapologetically yourself, even in a world that is still learning to love you, and a society that is unsure of queerness. To be queer is to be powerful, and that impacts my mental health so positively.
Do you have any examples of communities, groups or resources you have discovered to help you take care of your mental health? They can be somewhat few and far between (especially in rural areas) but LGBTQ+ youth groups such as Freedom in Bristol are amazing places to find other people like yourself. Online communities are also really important – I used Tumblr and YouTube a lot when I started on my journey aged 14 or 15 (I am very old lol). Look for things that represent yourself too: books, content creators, films, music, the list goes on. There are loads of great resources online too. Genderkit.org is great for trans folks, as are charities such as Stonewall and Just Like Us. If there are LGBTQ+ groups or GSA groups at school, college or work, reach out to them. But honestly, the internet is your oyster. Go find yourself.
19
That is wonderful, Lowie. Do you have any advice for adults who may be working with or raising a young person going through identity changes? The young person knows themselves best! If someone comes to you for support, take it as a compliment; it means they trust you. And remember, first reactions stick: even if you don’t understand everything they’re saying, trust them to know themselves. The likelihood is that this young person has been thinking about their gender and/or sexuality for a very long time, and it will have taken a lot of courage to tell someone. Other important things to remember: Do not expect the young person to educate you – do the research yourself. Also, use the correct pronouns and names without hesitation. This may take some practice, and it’s okay to make mistakes, but don’t made a big deal out of it. It’s not about you! Ensure you don’t ‘out’ the young person – LGBTQ+ people often come out in stages. For example, their friends may know, but they might not have told their parents yet. The best way to avoid accidentally outing someone is to ask them directly who they’re out to, and how you can best support them.
Thank you, Lowie that’s great advice. I have one final question that everyone at PAPYRUS has to answer before they’re allowed to leave… What are you planning to do for self-care this week? Wholesome! I’ve gotten really back into reading, so spending my evenings doing that instead of doom-scrolling.
Find out more about Lowie by visiting: lowietrevena.carrd.co Links to resources mentioned in this article: 1. Stonewall Charity (stats in opening paragraph): https://www.stonewall.org.uk/lgbt-britainhealth 2. BristolLive “The Pink List 2020: The 36 most influential LGBT+ people in Bristol right now”: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/pinc-list-2020-35-most-4508391 3. Genderkit.org: https://genderkit.org.uk/ 4. Stonewall Charity: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/ 5. Just Like Us: https://www.justlikeus.org/
HOPELINEUK is a free, confidential, non-judgmental helpline, if you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide. Call 0800 068 4141 – our trained suicide prevention advisers are here to help from 9am to midnight, every day of the year.
20
Why we need Pride By Thomas Waters, London volunteer We pass in failing light and ask ourselves – will we ever see the free light of day. We have learned to “take it on the chin!” heard that “It’s a sin!” Or the arguments disregarding, them and they. But true kindness walks in clothes of gossamer rainbows And silence isn’t always peace, the dawn is coming soon, she’s always darkest before it. So, this is a new promise to you – validity in the shape of Love, for PRIDE no longer comes before a fall. Stand tall! in the marching to that new dawn – voices in unison – with hearts and hands entwined. Fear makes monsters of men and we are far from home and less than perfect But seek as if to listen to the voices that shout out with purpose. Lift each note from the ones that went before us Whose voices, no longer speak yet are victorious If those who seek to create hate from love – Remember then that they don’t speak for us The sun is finally coming through on a hot June afternoon And if they tell us not to speak, we shall not divided be – come rest with me under the branches of a rootless tree and we’ll march through towns and cities We’ve grown from RIOTS But still, we need PRIDE Now or on any other day – and if you think we are not here to stay We might just throw that brick anyway.
Thomas Waters is an artist, taxidermist and writer living and working in London and a volunteer for PAPYRUS. He writes poetry and prose based on grief, journeying to sobriety and love using occult and folkloric themes. His latest anthology ‘A Year Falls Out My Gaping Mouth’ along with other titles are available from Lulu press. www.lulu.com/spotlight/dropwaterhemlock
21
Self-care Spotlight and Support
Hi Mike, tell us a bit about yourself… After university, I trained as a mathematics teacher and worked at a number of schools. I ended up as Deputy Head and was the Designated Safeguarding Lead. Within that role, I was very conscious of children’s mental health. I am married with three (now adult) children and two grandchildren. I am generally happy and outgoing.
What does self-care mean to you? Self-care is a fundamental, mind, body and spirit. It is important not to confuse self-care with being selfish. When we are under pressure, perhaps at work and working to deadlines, we often neglect ourselves and this can be extremely detrimental. There are many aspects to selfcare, including having a healthy lifestyle. This will include eating healthily, keeping hydrated, regular exercise and getting sufficient sleep. It is also important not to allow health concerns to go unmonitored. But, we also need to make time to pursue our interests and hobbies and also just to switch off and relax. Laughter can have hugely positive benefits. Friendships and family are also so important. Ironically, self-care can also be rooted in caring for another. I find that volunteering helps me also. As well as volunteering at PAPYRUS, which I am finding very fulfilling, I am a member of an organisation which arranges visits to lonely people. Another aspect of self-care is “letting go”, not bearing grudges and not dwelling on or worrying about situations that you can do nothing about. My own hobbies, include exercising (cycling, skipping and rowing machine), listening to and playing music and reading. I still pursue Mathematical interests.
22
Do you have a routine time for your self-care? Being retired, I have the advantage of not having to timetable my self-care, so I can be very flexible. I generally do not have to work to deadlines anymore (don’t tell my wife I said that!). However, when I was a teacher, I tended to go to the gym immediately before or after school and cycle, run or swim at weekends and during the holidays.
What’s a good piece of advice you’d like to pass on to the readers? I am not sure how appropriate it is for me to advise others without seeming patronising. But If I were to advise my younger self, it would be along the lines of there being a time for everything and at that time give 100% to whatever it is.
23
What’s your favourite self-care practice at the moment? That is so difficult, I do not have a single favourite, but I can narrow it down to cycling and listening to music. My musical tastes are wide and include both classical and modern. Before lockdown, I attended numerous concerts.
What would you say were your favourite songs or pieces of music? My favourite composer is Beethoven, I particularly enjoy listening to his 3rd, 5th, 6th and 7th Symphonies and his Violin Concerto. I enjoy listening to many bands and it is difficult to choose favourites, it depends on how I feel or sometimes, something pops into my head and I have to go and listen to it.
Support Services HOPELINEUK
HOPELINEUK is PAPYRUS’s free and confidential helpline, ran by trained suicide prevention advisers. www.papyrus-uk.org Call: 0800 068 41 41 Text: 07860 039 967 Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org 9am to midnight, every day of the year.
24
LGBT+ support services Mermaids UK - https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/
Gendered Intelligence - https://genderedintell gence.co.uk/ Mind Out - https://mindout.org.uk/
li-
PAPYRUS Pinboard Upcoming dates for your diary Volunteer training events: SP-ARK- 2nd September from 5:30-6:30pm SP-EAK- 19th September from 10am-1:30pm Safeguarding Training- 21st September from 5:30-7pm Champions Training- 28th September from 5:30-6:45pm- link will be sent once you have attended SP-ARK and the other trainings
HOPEWALK 2021 HOPEWALK - PAPYRUS’s flagship fundraising event is taking place this October. Find out more and sign up here: https:// www.papyrus-uk.org/hopewalk/
Wellbeing and self-care Headspace - https://www.headspace. com/ Mental Health Mates - https://www.mentalhealthmates.co.uk/ Calm - https://www.calm.com/
25
If you would like to be involved in the next issue, please contact our volunteering team via email on volunteer@papyrus-uk.org
26
