ParentMap May 2023 Issue

Cover photo by Jenna Lynn Photography, jennalynnphotog.com | Photo taken at Tulip Town, tuliptown.com

How do you like to celebrate Mother’s Day your way?

EDITORIAL

DIRECTOR OF CONTENT +

AUDIENCE ENGAGEMENT

Patty Lindley

OUT + ABOUT EDITOR

Nancy Chaney

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Kari Hanson

CALENDAR EDITOR

Julie Dodobara

COPY EDITOR

Sunny Parsons

CONTRIBUTORS

My husband tries to get the kids to leave me alone, and whenever anyone asks me to do something, I say, “But it’s Mother’s Day!”

Nancy Chaney, Kari Hanson, Rebecca Hastings, MomsRising.org staff, Sanya Pelini, Ph.D., Joe Aaron Reid

DIGITAL MARKETING

EMAIL MARKETING SPECIALIST

Devon Hammer

SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST

Emily Feely

ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS

DIRECTOR OF COMMUNITY

PARTNERSHIPS + ADVERTISING SALES

Jessica Collet

SENIOR ADVERTISING AND PARTNERSHIPS MANAGER

Ida Wicklund

EVENTS + COMMUNITY

PARTNERSHIPS SPECIALIST

Brenna McCown

CLIENT SERVICES +

DESIGN COORDINATOR

Angela Goodwin

CLIENT

ADVERTISING

Sleeping in, hot coffee in bed and then a refreshing hike with my whole family.

Leave me alone for the day, in a spa, with my sister. My daughter Ari, now a mother herself, earned her way in.

MAY 2023, VOL. 20, NO. 5

PUBLISHER Alayne Sulkin

PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD

Benjamin Danielson, M.D. CLINICAL PROFESSOR, UW SCHOOL OF MEDICINE PRACTICING PHYSICIAN, UW MEDICINE

Joan Duffell RETIRED EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN

John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON

Laura Kastner, Ph.D. PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON

Bea Kelleigh VICE PRESIDENT, DOVETAILING, LLC

Requirements are as  follows: Yummy breakfast, no one argues. Steak and asparagus for dinner. Early bedtime for the kids. Movie + wine + brownies.

SERVICES SPECIALIST

Mallory Dehbod

DIGITAL ADVERTISING +

MARKETING SPECIALIST

Taryn Weiner

ART + PRODUCTION

SENIOR DESIGNER

Amy Chinn

ADMINISTRATION

BUSINESS MANAGER

Carolyn Brendel

Time to sit in the sun and relax without constant interruptions. Artwork from the kids.

We go to Kubota Garden or Azalea Way with a picnic to soak up the springtime air and see all of the pretty growing things!

— Carolyn Brendel, business manager

Brunch, shopping and cocktails with my sister!

My favorite thing to do on Mother’s Day is absolutely nothing.

Yaffa Maritz, M.A. FOUNDER, LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTING

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MINDSIGHT INSTITUTE

CONTACT

INFORMATION

Advertising information 206-709-9026 or advertising@parentmap.com

Fax 206-709-9031

Calendar submissions calendar@parentmap.com

Editorial submissions editor@parentmap.com

Distribution distribution@parentmap.com

Administration 206-709-9026, parentmap.com

Subscriptions subscriptions@parentmap.com

Subscription rate 1 year: $12

ParentMap is published monthly.

PMB #190, 7683 S.E. 27th St., Mercer Island, WA 98040

All rights reserved; reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited. © ParentMap 2023 • printed in Oregon

A big dinner with the extended family where the moms don’t have to cook or do the dishes afterward.

Crochet my cares away!

Radhika, patient at Seattle Children’s

The Top 10 Policies Every Leader Should Support Right Now

By MomsRising

We value our freedoms. The freedom to be there for our children and families when we’re needed most, to choose what’s best for our families, to send our kids to schools where every child belongs and can thrive, and to be able to earn equal pay and a living wage. It’s well past time for policies that allow our children to have the best start in life, parents and care workers to thrive, and our elders to have the best golden years possible.

Moms are rising for quality, affordable child care, and for aging and disability services. For paid family and medical leave when a new child arrives or a serious illness strikes. For medications and health care, including mental health services, we can afford. For the freedom to make our own decisions about if, and when, we grow our families without interference from politicians.

Moms are rising to make childbirth safe for everyone. To welcome immigrants with dignity and respect. To invest in communities instead of prisons. To have all of our votes counted. For our children and families to live without gun violence, community violence and police violence. For the wealthy and megacorporations to pay their fair share.

Moms are rising to advance programs that unite and lift us all — and to make clear that well-funded efforts by a vocal minority to divide us and take away our freedoms through censorship, book bans, health-care denials and more do not provide the solutions we want or need. We know the solutions that will lift our nation and put families first.

continued from page 9

These are the top 10 policies every leader should support right now:

1. Workplace justice and paid family and medical leave: Advance permanent, comprehensive paid family and medical leave, and earned sick time laws that give every working person access to paid leave. Raise the minimum wage, abolish the tipped minimum wage, achieve pay equity and transparency, and protect LGBTQIA+ people from discrimination through laws and executive orders. Learn more at momsrising.org/ campaigns/workplace-justice.

2. High-quality child care: Expand access to highquality, affordable child care and pre-K in a publicly funded, comprehensive early care system that ensures family-supporting wages for early educators and provides choices to families to meet their needs — regardless of race, ZIP code, ability, identity, the language they speak or any other factor. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/early-care-education.

MomsRising (momsrising.org) is a transformative on-the-ground and online multicultural organization of over a million members and aligned organizations working to increase family economic security, to decrease discrimination against women and moms, to fight racism, sexism and xenophobia, and to build a nation where businesses and families can thrive.

ParentMap honored MomsRising executive director and CEO Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner in its first cohort of Superheroes in 2008, for cofounding the organization in order to raise awareness around the extreme invisibility of mothers in America. This grassroots, hashtag-happy coalition is working to achieve economic security for all moms, women and families.

Rowe-Finkbeiner and Washington Rep. My-Linh Thai were commended as ParentMap Superheroes in 2023 (parentmap.com/ superheroes-2023) in acknowledgement of their efforts to pass the Working Families Tax Credit (workingfamiliescredit.wa.gov).

ParentMap caught up with Rowe-Finkbeiner in February, just after the tax credit was implemented, and asked her to share what other initiatives are priorities for MomsRising right now.

Rowe-Finkbeiner: I’m so excited in this moment to share that despite what is on the front pages of papers, we’re still gaining momentum for women, children, moms, dads and caregivers. We just came out of December, when we won, after fighting for decades, the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act; we also won the Pump for Working Mothers Act. We won a 30 percent increase in Child Care [and] Development Block Grant funding — that’s $8 billion, with a “b.” We won one year of postpartum coverage for all birthing people in the country. We also won one year of continuous health-care coverage for all people 19 and younger.

3. Access to health care and aging and disability care: Secure quality, affordable health care for everyone by reducing prescription drug prices and health-care costs. Expand Medicaid coverage by closing the coverage gap and increasing access to aging and disability care so unpaid family caregivers can rejoin the labor force. Provide fair compensation and support for care workers, who are disproportionately women of color and immigrants. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/health-care.

4. Fair taxation: Support families and end child poverty by extending improvements to the Child Tax Credit, including full refundability and access to the credit for ITIN filers. Enact tax policies that guarantee wealthy individuals and megacorporations pay their fair share,

What happens when we have democracy? What happens when we’re engaged? Well, when we are all engaged, we all win. And so, looking forward, we’re still looking for that access to universal child care in pre-K. We can make that happen. We need paid family medical leave for every single person, no matter where they work or live in the country. Washington state has paid family medical leave, and that’s spectacular. But still, the majority of people in America don’t. So, we’re fighting for that. We’re fighting also for youth and family justice. We’re fighting for immigration policy reform. We’re fighting for maternal justice. Yes, we still need more maternal health care. We’re fighting for so many things.

We can fix these things, we can do better. And when we do better, we all do better. So, it’s an amazing time in history where we’ve seen a movement growing, expanding — not just with MomsRising, but multiple organizations across the country rising together. And we’re pushing, pushing, pushing these policies forward, gaining momentum. And we expect to see transformational policy change in the next three to four years.

Learn more about MomsRising’s campaigns and how you can get involved at momsrising.org.

Dedicated to the goal of building a more family-friendly America

which will generate revenue for the care economy infrastructure the country needs and provide SNAP, WIC, unemployment insurance and other vital programs that support low-income families. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/federal-budget.

5. Culturally relevant, non-carceral mental health care: Address Americans’ top health concern by advancing federal investments in culturally relevant, non-carceral mental health resources for youths, parents and grandparents, so families have the support they need to thrive. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/ health-care.

6. Maternal justice: Improve health and well-being before, during and after pregnancy, and stem the alarming rate of maternal mortality. Protect the full range of reproductive health care, including abortion care, particularly for Black communities and communities of color that are marginalized and whose reproductive health-care needs are too often ignored. Make critical investments in maternal health care that will save moms’ lives, end racial and ethnic

maternal health disparities, and advance birth equity for everyone. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/maternal-justice.

7. Fair treatment of immigrant families: Recognize the contributions of immigrants in our communities and care infrastructure. Create a pathway to citizenship to protect “Dreamers,” TPS and DED holders, essential workers and farmworkers. Welcome immigrants with dignity and respect while protecting their right to seek asylum under United States and international law. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/immigration.

8. Fight gun violence: Stop the loss of lives, livelihoods, wages and well-being caused by the escalating gun violence crisis by dismantling the culture of gun glorification and enacting commonsense gun safety laws, such as universal background checks and bans on assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/gun-safety.

9. Youth and family justice: Replace failed criminal and legal interventions that harm families by advancing non-carceral public safety strategies and investing in public health approaches. End mass incarceration and mass criminalization. Invest in traumainformed care, nurses and therapists in schools, and move away from school-based law enforcement. Advocate for accurate and inclusive public education as the foundation of a just democracy.  Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/youth-family-justice.

10. Democracy protection: Expand voting rights by increasing access to the ballot while blocking policies that make it harder to vote; make Election Day a federal holiday; and stop election interference to restore faith in our democracy, deepen momvoter engagement and mobilize mom voters. Learn more at momsrising.org/campaigns/momsvote. ■

MomsRising (momsrising.org) is a network of people just like you, united by the goal of building a more family-friendly America.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect those of ParentMap.

Notice of Nondiscriminatory Policy As To Students

The Parent Advisory Council of Parent Cooperative Preschools admits students of any race, color, national and ethnic origin to all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, or national and ethnic origin in distraction of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship and loan programs, and athletic and other school-administered programs.

North and South Seattle Cooperative Preschools have openings for the 2023/24 school year. Please see websites for more information. northseattlecoops.org westseattlepreschools.org

Family Fun Calendar

Find

5 Books to Cultivate SocialEmotional Learning in Children

Help the little ones in your life navigate their big feelings

By Joe Aaron Reid

Let’s face it, adulthood is tough, but being a kid might be even tougher. Children have huge emotions, no filter, and have yet to develop the self-reflection and vocabulary needed to understand and communicate those big feelings. So, if you’re asking your-

self if it’s natural that each day resembles an emotional pingpong match in which it’s unclear whether you’re the opponent or the ball, the answer is yes. That’s because our littles have yet to master the art of social-emotional learning.

continued from page 12

Social-emotional learning (SEL) refers to the development and cultivation of five core competencies:

• Self-awareness

• Self-management

• Social awareness

• Relationship skills

• Responsible decision-making

Children who develop strong socialemotional skills are more likely to grow into well-adjusted adults. From kids playing board games to execs slaying in boardrooms, SEL skills such as emotional regulation, empathy, compassion and problem-solving are vital to supporting lifelong academic, professional and interpersonal goals and success.

Minding the ‘million-word gap’

Regular story time is incredibly important for the brain development of children of all ages. It provides a sense of comforting routine and increases comprehension and vocabulary development in all kids, including those still too young to speak.

A 2019 Ohio State University study found that young children whose parents read them five books a day enter kindergarten having heard about 1.4 million more words than kids who were never read to. This socalled “million-word gap” could be one key to explaining differences in vocabulary and reading development.

Jessica Logan, the study’s lead author, notes, “The fact that we had so many parents who said they never or seldom read to their kids was pretty shocking to us. We wanted to figure out what that might mean for their kids.”

When reading to your kids, don’t forget to ask them questions about the story, use silly voices and periodically insert them as characters into the narrative. These tactics make reading much more fun for everyone!

It’s story time!

While reading is fundamental, what you read is just as important, if not more so. Books that instill concepts such as kindness, forgiveness and gratitude at a young age will make for a smoother transition as children pass through adolescence and into adulthood. After all, intelligence (IQ) might get you on the boat, but emotional intelligence (EQ) will keep you on board.

Here are five top children’s books to help spur your child’s social-emotional learning.

‘Julián Is a Mermaid’ by Jessica Love

A young boy sees three fabulously dressed women on the subway and decides to express himself similarly by becoming a mermaid. What will his friends and family — especially his abuela — think? This book highlights themes of individuality, loving yourself and being unconventional in a seemingly conventional world.

‘The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes: A Growth Mindset Book for Kids to Promote SelfEsteem’ by Mark Pett and Gary Rubinstein

Everyone in town knows Beatrice as the girl who never makes mistakes. That is until she makes a big one right in front of everyone. Eventually, she’ll learn that perfection is impossible and that a life without mistakes is not well lived. This book handles themes of coping with anxiety, overcoming fear and gaining self-acceptance.

‘The Bad Seed’ by Jory John, illustrated by Pete Oswald

The title character is a sunflower seed with a reputation for behaving badly. But by confronting his past, he discovers that he can make friends and manifest a

future that doesn’t look all that terrible. This New York Times bestseller (the first in a seven-book series) tackles themes of emotional regulation, self-image and how to develop a growth mindset.

‘What Should Danny Do?’ (‘The Power to Choose’ series) by Adir Levy and Ganit Levy, illustrated by Mat Sadler Danny, a superhero in training, has a lot of big feelings, and while he’s encouraged to acknowledge them, he struggles with how to express them appropriately. These interactive “choose your own story”–style books explore themes such as sharing and teamwork, and illustrate how you can change your day by changing your choices.

‘I Am Enough’ by Grace Byers, illustrated by Keturah A. Bobo

This is a story of a young Black girl and the world as she perceives it. Through simile and rhyme, this poetic tale beautifully addresses the importance of showing kindness, love and respect for yourself and for others, and reassures readers that regardless of our differences, we are enough.

Learn more and access resources to help make SEL part of your child’s daily life on the Committee for Children website at cfchildren.org/social-emotional-learning Discover more great books that teach kids about important social skills at parentmap.com/sel-books. ■

Joe Aaron Reid is a stage actor, author, screenwriter, host, model and voiceover artist. Reid, his husband, François, and their twin children reside in Los Angeles.

Holidays

Mother’s Day Her Way

Nifty ideas for making her day as special as she is

By Rebecca Hastings

Mother’s Day is the perfect occasion to shower love on the moms in your life. While every gift is special, you can use this holiday as an opportunity to think about specific ways to make them feel appreciated.

First things first

Think about her. Truly. There are endless gift ideas out there, so selecting the right one can feel overwhelming. Often, we end up buying something because it seems like what everyone else is buying (or it was easy!). Before you make a purchase, spend a little time thinking about her as the unique individual she is and ask yourself these questions:

• What makes her smile?

• What do I see her looking at in stores or on her phone?

• How can I make her feel special?

• Does she have a favorite hobby that she rarely makes time for?

• What is something she wouldn’t do for herself?

If you aren’t sure, ask some of the people she is close to, such as a good friend or a sibling. Even older kids and teens can lend valuable insight. Remember, acknowledging her and making her feel understood mean focusing on her instead of what you think she needs.

Beyond the gift

Mother’s Day is about more than a gift. It’s an entire day dedicated to your favorite lady! Consider how you want to be intentional about celebrating her. Would she like breakfast in bed or would she prefer to

sleep in? Is she hoping to spend the day with the kids or would some “me time” be appreciated?

You can ask her questions like this, but avoid simply asking, “What do you want to do?” Many moms are uncomfortable saying what they truly want. Plus, asking that makes it one more decision she has to make. And she definitely doesn’t need that!

A lot of moms will appreciate and benefit from a combination of time to themselves and time with the family. That could look like a family hike, followed by some time for her to nap or read. Maybe she would enjoy some time to go shopping alone and come home to a nice family dinner. Another great idea is to take her to breakfast with the kids and then drop her off for a massage

or spa treatment that you’ve already scheduled for that day. The less time she has to spend on figuring out the itinerary, the better.

Creative gift ideas

To help you get started, here are some unique ideas for gifts that moms of different types will love.

For the book lover: Once Upon a Book Club (onceuponabookclub.com) offers a creative approach to a book subscription service. Each box contains a book along with three to five wrapped gifts for the recipient to open at different points in the book. She will love discovering fun gifts as she reads, and they will remind her of the story long after she has finished reading the book. You can purchase single boxes as well as monthly and quarterly subscriptions; there are also subscription options for young adult and middle-grade readers.

For the puzzler: Jiggy (jiggypuzzles.com) offers art in puzzle form. Cited as one of Oprah’s Favorite Things, these specially crafted puzzles are fun to put together and come with glue for preserving the beautiful artwork once it has been assembled. Plus, Jiggy offers special holiday and seasonal gift boxes to enhance the puzzle experience, with extras such as chocolate or luxury bath items.

For the foodie: Make her life extra tasty with a gift or gift card from Goldbelly (goldbelly.com). This gourmet food market service features gifts from around the country, so she can have something

special delivered right to her door. From making dinner really special with a prepared lobster dinner from Maine or barbecue straight from Texas, to a special Ina Garten cake or macarons from Paris, you’re sure to find tasty treats your unique mom will love.

For the coffee or tea drinker: Few things keep a mom going like her morning cup of coffee or tea. Make her cuppa special with a tea subscription from Tea Runners (tearunners.com), which specializes in a wide variety of gourmet loose teas. If coffee on the run is more her style, Steeped Coffee (steepedcoffee.com) offers specialty roasts in single-serve brew bags that taste great — and help the planet.

For the mom who needs to relax: Every mom could use a little relaxation in her life, and you can find special gifts that help her do just that. Luxury candles from Noa Lux (noaluxco.com) or Opal Road (opalroadhome.com) are special choices she probably wouldn’t splurge on for herself. Plus, both companies are womanowned, a sweet bonus. If she needs a little more help in relaxing, Pure Enrichment (pureenrichment.com) is a purveyor of products designed to enhance comfort and wellness, such as lush heated blankets and aromatherapy diffusers.

For the organizer: If order and organization bring a smile to her face, try elevating her planner and paper products. Ivory Paper Co (ivorypaperco.com) and Grado (grado-inspired.com) offer beautiful journals, planners and stationery to make keeping track of things easier while also inspiring her.

Remember, Mother’s Day isn’t about being perfect. It is about celebrating the mom in your life and making her feel special. Make it about her, shop early and plan the day to give her a Mother’s Day she won’t forget! ■

Rebecca Hastings is a former teacher who is passionate about faith and family.

May Play List

So much to celebrate — starting with Mom!

By Nancy Chaney

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.

This month brings May flowers — for Mother’s Day, naturally — alongside an overflowing basket of springtime fun!

With your family and your community, read, ride a bike, gather, learn and celebrate. Oh, and don’t forget to fawn over sweet animals and bounce on inflatables! To you, hardworking mamas, we offer up three cheers, and we wish a happy May to all!

� Enliven your ramble on the trails of fascinating Brightwater Center by following along on a PopUp StoryWalk. This session features the story “Count on Me” by Miguel Tanco. Follow the “pages” of the book and read as you stroll. Trail access is free and open daily, dawn to

dusk, May 1–31. parentmap.com/brightwater

� Let’s hop on our bikes during May, because it’s Bike Everywhere Month in Seattle! Wednesday, May 3, is Bike to School Day, and Friday, May 19, is Bike Everywhere Day. But no need to wait for a special day: Pump up those tires and ride around the block, to the park or to school — today and every day! parentmap.com/bike

� Join ParentMap in welcoming internationally recognized trauma expert Laura van Dernoot Lipsky for an interactive talk during which she will share inclusive and practical strategies for recognizing, navigating

and easing the burdens and impacts of trauma, secondary trauma and being overwhelmed. Preregister and tune in Thursday, May 4, 1–2 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/live

� Pro tip for parents: Comic books, alongside their cousins, graphic novels, can be the “gateway” material to get certain kids reading. These kids

Photo by Jenna Lynn Photography, jennalynnphotog.com | Photo taken at Tulip Town, tuliptown.com

ParentEd Talks event: Transforming Trauma and Navigating Overwhelm

— and every kid — will want to know about Free Comic Book Day, the day when local participating comic book shops hand out free comic books. Supercool, right? It’s Saturday, May 6. parentmap.com/free-comic

� Spread some joy around your neighborhood on Saturday, May 6. It’s Random Acts of Kindness Day, and everyone can participate! Take some flowers or cookies to a neighbor, hand out balloons to kids, play music for your friends — the possibilities are endless! What can your crew come up with? parentmap.com/kindness

� Celebrate the season of new beginnings at Maris Farms’ Baby Animals and Blooms Days. Snap seasonal photos by the tulip fields, buy goodies at the farm market and visit animals, plus ride the cow train, jump on the jump pillow and cruise down the tube slides. Saturday–Sunday, May 6–7 and 13–14. $16–$18; book tickets online. parentmap.com/babies-blooms

� Experience the Spirit of Africa festival with its performances of traditional and modern music and dance at the next Seattle Center Festál series event on Saturday, May

Cinco de Mayo Celebration

perfect flowers for your favorite mama during Pike Place Market’s annual flower festival, happening Saturday–Sunday, May 13–14. parentmap.com/flower-fest

� Treat your mom (and yourself) and broaden your kids’ arts horizons during Seattle Opera’s Family Day, featuring a performance of Verdi’s emotional and unforgettable opera “La Traviata.” Student tickets cost $20 on Family Day; adult tickets are regular price. Book online for the Family Day performance, Sunday, May 14, 2 p.m. parentmap.com/family-day

� Marvel at regional Native tribes’ singing, dancing and drumming traditions, alive and going strong in 2023, at Edmonds College’s community powwow, where all are welcome. Be in your seats for the grand entry at 5 p.m. on Sunday, May 14. Free. parentmap.com/powwow

tures free rides, inflatables, live entertainment, emergency vehicles to inspect and a car show on Sunday! What could be better?

parentmap.com/fun-fair

� Gather with the local comunidad Latina at El Centro de la Raza to celebrate Cinco de Mayo — on Saturday, May 6 (not May 5!). You and your fam will find lively music and dancing, lots of delicious food, and, did we hear, much entertainment? You’ll definitely want to come to find out what those will be. Free; food for purchase. parentmap.com/ cinco-de-mayo

13, back in person for 2023. Don’t miss out on the music, rhythms, marketplace and fashion show representing cultures from across Africa as well as the African diaspora. Free. parentmap.com/spirit-of-africa

� Forget the stuffy roses. All moms will love a gorgeous bouquet of locally grown tulips, peonies and other blooms for Mother’s Day. Choose the

� The tradition marches on! Hipp Hipp Hurra! Ballard’s beloved 17th of May (Syttende Mai) Parade is back again, happening on — you guessed it — Wednesday, May 17. On this special day, marching bands, elementary kids on unicycles, Scandinavian organizations and the whole neighborhood convene to celebrate. The parade starts at 6 p.m. and winds along Northwest Market Street. parentmap.com/syttende-mai

� Mark your calendars for the kiddie play paradise that is the Lacey Spring Fun Fair, taking place Saturday–Sunday, May 20–21. This free event fea-

� Our community’s iconic Northwest Folklife Festival welcomes all to Seattle Center Friday–Monday, May 26–29. This free family-friendly festival is a Memorial Day weekend tradition dating back more than 50 years. Bring the kids to partake in amazing performances, cultural traditions and people-watching. parentmap.com/folklife

� On Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, honor local service members who have died as well as veterans and active military in Arlington’s moving annual Memorial Day Parade. The parade begins at 10 a.m. and runs along North Olympic Avenue. parentmap.com/ memorial-day ■

Nancy Chaney is ParentMap’s Out + About editor.

Photo courtesy of El Centro de la Raza

Circle of Indigenous Peoples at Northwest Folklife Festival

Photo by Christopher Nelson

Out + About

5 Reasons Your Child

(and

You!) Should

Play

Dungeons & Dragons

You’ve heard the hype, now it’s time to play!

By Kari Hanson

Looking for an activity that involves storytelling, math, creativity and social-emotional skills (and zero screens)? Well, get out the dice, sharpen your pencil and call over a group of friends. It’s time to play Dungeons & Dragons.

Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) was first published as a small box set with three booklets in 1974.

The game quickly gained popularity, and 3,000 copies had been sold by 1975. Controversy and misguided fear dogged the game in the 1980s, and it was often seen as a game for nerds.

However, thanks in part to the depiction of the game in some poplar TV shows (including “The Big Bang Theory” and “Stranger Things”), today the

Best new playgrounds for play hounds

continued from page 21

game is more popular than ever and played by a wide variety of people. And the recent release of the D&Dthemed movie “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves” has heightened its popularity even more.

Read on for five reasons why you should sharpen your sword, button up your cloak and join the adventure today.

Creativity and storytelling

This might be one of D&D’s most impressive aspects. A game of D&D is centered around a story, known as a campaign. One person acts as the storyteller — aka the Dungeon Master, or DM — and guides the rest of the group through the adventure. Some players love to be the DM, since it allows them to create the story and only they know what is coming next.

You can buy premade campaigns or you can create your own. Creating your own campaign might sound daunting, but you can find plenty of help and ideas online to get you started.

I’ve seen adults get into the creative aspect of the game just as much as (if not more than) the kids! One dad likes to incorporate dramatic lighting and his own curated soundtrack when he is the DM. (Pro tip: “The Lord of the Rings” and the “Game of Thrones” soundtracks make excellent background adventure music.)

Since you can create your own stories, D&D can grow with the players. When players are young, their adventures might be more lighthearted or less complex. As they improve and grow up, campaigns can increase in intensity, requiring more attention and strategy to win. This game will be just as fun when you are 17 as it was when you were 10.

When players are young, their adventures might be more lighthearted or less complex.

A bonanza of fantastic new playgrounds opened this past year — let’s go play!

Vocabulary development and active listening

When a group is playing D&D, one person acts as the storyteller, or DM. Everyone else in the group must listen and pay attention to the story line and what challenges are being thrown their way. This can help players improve their active listening skills, as well as memory and critical thinking. Campaigns can be quite complex, and listening, remembering what already happened, and trying to determine what might happen next are critical aspects of the game.

D&D can also help children increase their vocabulary. When creating a character, dice are rolled to determine their “strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom and charisma.” Understanding what those terms mean is key to creating a strong, well-rounded character.

A NEW ADVENTURE FOR YOUR OUTDOOR ENTHUSIAST

NURTURE NATURE

Enjoy gardening, greenhouse and wetlands activities, and beekeeping.

And just look at this sentence from the “Monster Manual” describing one of the many, many monsters (Chuuls) you’ll find in the worlds of D&D: Survivors of the ancient aboleth empire, Chuuls are crustaceans that the aboleths modified and endowed with sentience. Understanding and using vocabulary this complex is every English teacher’s dream!

Teamwork and solving problems

D&D is a team game, and the only way to win is to work together. Should you fight the monster or run? Should you go down a dark path or turn around? All players have to work together to come to a decision and take action.

Each player creates a character with strengths, weaknesses and skills, and a combination of characters is essential. You can’t win if everyone insists on being the same kind of character, a powerful Fighter,

PLAY OUTSIDE

Go swimming, hiking, and try fun sports—all while making friends.

EXPLORE MORE Field trips, STEM activities, team-building challenges, and more.

As they improve and grow up, campaigns can increase in intensity, requiring more attention and strategy to win.

continued from page 23

for example. Wizards, Rogues, Paladins and Clerics all bring their own skills and abilities to the game that are vital. Diverse characters are needed for success, just like in real life.

Social-emotional learning skills

According to a recent study, playing D&D can help children develop their social and emotional learning (SEL) skills. SEL skills include self-awareness, self-management, responsible decision-making, relationship skills and social awareness. The study found that when kids played D&D together they had opportunities to improve these skills, including learning from conflict,

Photo by Kari Hanson

taking on different roles and working together as a team.

When kids play D&D, they naturally build these skills by working together to combine different characters’ skills and strengths, make decisions and build empathy for their fellow players.

Math

Two words: 20-sided dice. Almost everything in D&D is determined by rolling dice, and not your typical square variety. Oh, no. The world of D&D requires a monstrous 20-sided die (known as a D20). Finding out if your character can banish the monster waiting to ambush you or if the monster will win all comes down to a roll of the die.

While the math is nothing too advanced (basic addition, subtraction and a little multiplication), this game requires players to constantly use those math muscles. Since this math is in the context of a game, a child who may be less interested in math at school might suddenly be able to quickly add larger numbers in their head when the fate of their group’s campaign is on the line.

D&D is a great way for kids and adults alike to engage their creativity, employ their problem-solving skills and just have fun. So, gather around the dining room table, put aside the electronics and settle in for hours (and hours and hours … ) of entertainment.

Fine Arts

Find registration information online: www.evergreenschool.org

Celebrate Mother’s Day her way

We’ve rounded up a grande-size list of activities that moms can enjoy with (or without) the family

continued from page 25

owned D&D. You will find great info on its website about how to get started, including how to play, how to be a DM and a quiz to help you figure out which character to try first.

Getting started

Ready to play, but not sure how to start? Here are a few ideas:

• D&D starter set. If you want to make sure you have everything you need for your first D&D gathering, consider picking up a starter set. It includes a rulebook, an adventure and enough dice for six players. DnD Adventure Club (dndadventureclub.com) is another great way to get the younger crowd started. For a monthly subscription fee, you get an adventure, new character, and tips and tricks mailed to you every month. The site also offers a quick-start guide, a starter pack and dice. And the best part? These adventures are created for kids ages 8–12, (but can be played by children as young as 5 with some grown-up help).

• Wizards of the Coast guides. Since 1997, Wizards of the Coast (located in Renton; company.wizards.com) has

• Join an organized adventure. If you want to play but are still looking for other adventurers to join you in your quest, consider going to an organized D&D event. Game stores such as Mox Boarding House (moxboardinghouse.com) host D&D adventures that anyone 12 and older can join, no experience necessary! Mox has locations and events in Seattle, Bellevue and Portland. Some groups are for beginners, some are for more advanced players. Check the website for more details. If your child is of school age, check to see if their school has a D&D club. If not, consider encouraging your child to start one!

• Sign up for a Dungeons & Dragons summer camp! Several local organizations host in-person Dungeons & Dragons summer camps, including Three Dragons Academy (threedragonsacademy.com) in Seattle’s Queen Anne neighborhood, the Edmonds Center for the Arts (ec4arts.org), The Evergreen School (evergreenschool.org) in Shoreline and others. Outschool (outschool.com) offers dozens of online D&D clubs, campaigns and classes. ■

Kari Hanson is ParentMap’s associate editor and a mom to two sons.

We will offer an inquiry-based camp where the campers help in choosing a topic or activity that will be explored every week. Campers will help lead the direction of their camp experience. Our instructors build activities around your child’s curiosity!

soundview.org

JEWISH YOUTH ADVENTURE

the LEADER & ACTIVIST

Change maker

Upstander

Passionate volunteer

Ages + Stages

How the ‘Batman Effect’ Can Help Increase Your Child’s Concentration and Confidence

By Sanya Pelini, Ph.D.

Every kid dreams of being a superhero at some point in their life. They imagine that they are all-powerful, brave and unstoppable. They envision that they are capable of changing the world.

But kids are not the only ones who dream about being superheroes. At least once, all of us have imagined being someone

else, someone who knows all of the right things to say and do in every situation. Someone who has some kind of “superpower.”

The creation of an alter ego — or the thought of being someone else — is far more common than one would think. The alter egos we create help us get through tough situations and

make it easier to deal with anxiety-provoking situations. They help us believe that everything will be okay.

Science says that having an alter ego can empower kids. Researchers refer to this phenomenon as the “Batman effect.” They say that this effect can help improve children’s focus and perseverance.

What science says about the Batman effect Research has shown that pretending to be someone else can make it easier for your child to cope with difficult situations. In one study that sought to analyze perseverance, 4- and 6-year-old kids were asked to perform an extremely boring task. To make the task even more challenging, iPads with a very interesting age-appropriate video game were placed in close proximity to the research subjects, making it very easy for them to get distracted.

The researchers were interested in analyzing whether encouraging the kids to distance themselves from the task at hand and view it from the position of an outsider would have an impact on their degree of perseverance.

Three perspectives were proposed. The children in the first group were asked to reflect on the task from a first-person point of view (“How am I feeling?” “I am working hard”). The second group was asked to reflect on the task by referring to themselves by their name (“How is Emma feeling?” “Emma is working hard”). Children in the third group were encouraged to reflect on the task as though they were a “superhero” (“How is Batman [or Dora the Explorer] feeling?” “Batman [Dora] is working hard”).

First, viewing themselves as someone powerful and in control helps kids feel like they themselves are confidently in charge. These feelings then help them persevere even in the face of obstacles.

Second, viewing themselves as superheroes helps kids distance themselves from situations that they view as difficult, which helps them to better navigate anxiety-provoking situations. Selfdistancing also makes it easier to think of other ways of doing things and can therefore improve executive function skills.

Third, the more your child identifies with a specific superhero, the greater the chances that they consciously or subconsciously develop the positive characteristics associated with that superhero.

Now that you know that it’s okay to let your child think of themselves as a superhero, here are a few things that you can do to make the best of the Batman effect.

Three things that you can do to take advantage of the Batman effect

As to be expected, 6-year-olds found it easier to persevere, which makes sense because we know that children get better at concentrating as they grow older. An interesting finding was that the children who pretended to be “superheroes” persevered longer than those in the other two groups, and that those who persevered the shortest amount of time were the kids who had adopted a first-person perspective.

The positive effects of the Batman effect on your kid Research suggests that several factors can help explain why the Batman effect helps improve children’s performance:

1. Help your child practice a “superhero script.”

The researchers in the study previously mentioned suggest that one of the reasons why the Batman effect works is because it prompts kids to engage in self-talk. They believe that self-talk from a psychologically distanced perspective may have promoted greater reflection among the kids.

Engaging in role playing with your child and asking them, “What would Batman [or whoever their superhero is] do/say/think?” is therefore an easy and effective way to promote your child’s ability to reflect and have them learn to see situations from different

The best thing about this idea is that anything and everything can be a superpower — being good at music, sports or reading; being a good friend; being empathetic or patient; and so on.

angles. You can also watch movies together and help them relate the depicted scenes to their everyday experiences and situations (in class, at home and so on).

2. Help them unleash their superpower.

I have always loved the idea that every child has a superpower. The best thing about this idea is that anything and everything can be a superpower — being good at music, sports or reading; being a good friend; being empathetic or patient; and so on.

When you show your child that they possess and demonstrate their own personal strengths, you help them develop a positive sense of self, and this affects how they react to the world around them.

3. Reinforce positive behavior.

We now know that reinforcing positive behavior makes it more likely that the behavior will be repeated and habituated. But positive reinforcement is not about bribing your child to encourage them to behave in a specific way. It is about showing them that their positive behavior does not go unnoticed. Remember to be specific to help your child understand the exact behavior that you would like to reinforce: “You practiced a little every day and now your results have paid off!”

Last thoughts on the Batman effect

While the Batman effect can help kids become more focused and persistent when faced with difficult tasks, researchers suggest that not all kids benefit from this strategy. A child who has no executive function issues with respect to focus and concentration, ability to remember information, ability to think of a situation from different angles, etc., does not need to turn to the Batman effect as a cognitive strategy.

In other words, while the strategy can help kids struggling with specific issues, adopting it with a child who has good executive function skills can prove counterproductive. For kids who don’t have issues with executive function skills, helping them to learn to distance themselves from complex situations in order to more clearly reflect on these situations from different perspectives, and to come up with different ways to address them can be more appropriate than having them imagine being someone else. As with all things, it is important to think about your child’s actual needs and abilities before adopting the Batman effect. ■

Sanya Pelini, Ph.D., transforms educational research into practical tools and resources on her blog Raising Independent Kids (raising-independent-kids.com).

Women and Family Wellness Studio

Support

Daniella Fernandez is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate who provides individual counseling for adults as well as couples counseling. Daniella is available via telehealth for anyone who lives in Washington state.

Appointments available immediately!

Incredible Years Parenting Program

• Evidence-based parenting classes offered online in group settings or in family’s home

When you purchase a Keep Kids Safe license plate, you help keep children of all ages healthy and safe.

dol.wa.gov/vehicleregistration/spkidssafe.html