ParentMap May 2024 Issue

Mother’s Day Her Way A curated guide featuring thoughtful gifts moms will truly appreciate

Farms With Flower Power Nothing says summer like a bouquet of freshly picked flowers

We get you coverage with free and low cost Apple Health and Marketplace insurance to fit your family’s needs.

So you can focus on what matters.

WeGetYouWA.com

May 2024

Photo courtesy of West Seattle Flower Farm

Photo by Alayne Sulkin

Breakfast in bed, homemade cards and a family hike sound perfect to me. But I wouldn’t turn down a spa day either (husband, I hope you’re reading this).

I don’t want to do any chores — no dishes, no cleaning, no laundry, no cooking. Full day off from all responsibilities!

Do absolutely nothing

MANAGER

Erika Widjaja

Ideally, we’re with my twin sister’s family (she’s the very best cook!) being celebrated and honoring our mother.

To avoid annual disappointment, my sister, mom and I make our own plans which usually involve cocktails, brunch and shopping. I reconvene with the fam later and skirt all my usual “mom duties” (mainly cooking or food prep of any kind. Um, nope!). It’s a delight!

I call my mom in the morning since she lives thousands of miles away. Then breakfast or brunch with my family, followed by “me time” in the afternoon — it can be getting a massage, taking a bubble bath or just trying a new baking recipe … in peace.

— Erika Widjaja, operations assistant

Giving Together

ParentMap is proud to highlight local area nonprofits making a difference in our community as part of our Giving Together campaign.

Everyone should be able to experience the joys and freedoms of childhood, but for those living with life-altering medical conditions, that ability is sometimes out of reach. Since 2005, Camp Korey has provided a safe haven for families experiencing life-altering medical conditions. It’s more than just a camp, it’s a place where kids with serious medical conditions can just be kids — and it’s completely free. What started as an “on-the-road” program, Camp Korey now operates on a 200-acre property in Mount Vernon where kids and families can sing, dance, laugh, grow and discover their potential in a medically safe and adaptable environment.

Camp Korey is more than a camp. It’s a place where kids with life-altering medical conditions can “just be kids,” totally free of charge!

Visit campkorey.org to learn about our Family Weekends, Summer Camp sessions, Teen programs, Adventure Days + more!

24880 Brotherhood Rd, Mount Vernon, WA 98274 (360) 416-4100 | campkorey.org

LEARN MORE: campkorey.org

The Current

Zhuzh Up Your Parenting Style

Parenting styles have evolved over the decades. Now parents are faced with a plethora of choices and have to grapple with figuring out the best style (or style) to raise their children. It’s no surprise that ultra-strict parenting styles are becoming less common, but a new study from Preply shows what styles Millenials and Gen Z parents (yep, Gen Z parents are a thing) are incorporating. Here’s what they found:

• The most popular parenting styles among American parents are lighthouse, attachment and gentle parenting.

• A notable 43% are conscious of using gender-stereotyped language with their children.

• 38% of parents of sons say they are conscious about how often they use phrases like “strong” or “brave” to avoid a fixation regarding their perceived toughness.

• 48% of parents of daughters say they are conscious about how often they use phrases like “pretty” or “beautiful” to avoid a fixation regarding their physical appearance.

• 32% of parents feel pressured by media to adopt specific parenting styles.

Seeing Spots

Measles cases are on the rise, with more cases in the U.S. this year already than in the entire year of 2023. The increase is due to falling rates of measles vaccination throughout the world. Measles can be serious, especially in children ages 5 and under. Common symptoms include cough, fever, rash and runny nose, and people with measles are typically contagious from four days before the rash starts through four days afterward. You can protect your community by getting the measles vaccine. Seattle Children’s Hospital

Grey Matter Goes Full Color

Growing up, my parents referred to our TV as “the idiot box” or “boob tube” for a reason — watching it could rot your brain (or so they thought). But, a new study from The Behavioral Insights and Parenting Lab suggests that screens might be doing the opposite. The study, headed by developmental psychologists, found that animated music videos are an efficient, cost-effective way to increase young children’s vocabulary. These results suggest that consistent, light-touch educational media in classrooms or at home can produce sustained learning.

It’s a Brave New World

In a few short years, you could be attending trait reveal parties instead of gender reveal parties. BabyPeek, a new voluntary add-on to the UNITY prenatal genetic screen, uses advanced technology to analyze well-known genetic factors that determine what traits a baby will be most likely to have — from eye color, hair color and freckles to when teeth will come in. Don’t worry, this won’t turn into a real-life version of “Gattaca” … we hope.

Seattle Children’s is proud to be the presenting sponsor of the 2023–2024 ParentEd Talks series

Keep your family safe and healthy

Scan the QR code below to sign up for Seattle Children’s Good Growing e-newsletter. Each issue shares timely tips to keep your family as safe and healthy as they can be.

Radhika, patient at Seattle Children’s

It Takes Two: A Default Parent’s Guide to Sharing the Load

If you’re the parent who is used to ‘doing it all,’ here’s how to make parenting a bit more equitable

By Alexandra Frost

It’s not just the dishes, the laundry, the yard work and the complex extracurricular schedule. The “mom load,” or “invisible load,” that falls on the default parent in some couples extends much deeper, from knowing and buying necessary foods and supplies kids will use to communicating with teachers in a way that keeps a child’s education on track. It’s medication refills and doctor appointments, troubleshooting social issues with friends, scheduling playdates and sending in that daggone field trip money on time.

The ‘invisible load’ defined

But the “invisible family load” is not just a term you hear stressed-out parents complaining about in the carpool line. It’s a real, research-backed concept that refers to the “managerial, cognitive and emotional” aspects of raising a family and running a household. The construct has been gaining steam in recent years, especially during the pandemic, when systemic and societal issues and expectations became much more glaring, especially for mothers.

Just months before the pandemic, Eve Rodsky wrote a book titled “Fair Play,” which was turned into a Netflix documentary of the same name. It details the problem of invisible family load, and for many default parents, it named the phenomenon they have been feeling for years.

In her book, Rodsky drops readers into her mindset when she describes the moment she gets a text from her husband that reads, “I’m surprised you didn’t get blueberries.” She launches into the

cascade of tasks she was doing, including taking time off to connect with one of her children during a stressful time, dropping off packages, returning shoes and working on a client contract. “I was barely holding it together when my husband’s ‘blueberry text’ arrived, and the tears came so fast and furious I had to pull over to the side of the road.” It wasn’t about blueberries, she continues, but about a different vision for how parenting and partnership would go. Instead, she’d ended up as the “she-fault” parent, she writes. “This is not how I envi-

sioned my life — the fulfiller of my family’s smoothie needs.”

The role of the ‘default’ parent

Enter the “default” parent. As Rodsky noted, more often than not, it’s the mother in a heterosexual partnership shouldering the responsibilities, but it varies by family and can be the father instead. Regardless, the “default” parent is the one to whom the extra tasks fall, and often the other partner doesn’t even know the extent of the default parent’s stressors.

Dr. Whitney Casares, pediatrician, founder of Modern Mommy Doc and author of the book “Doing It All,” says that helping the default partner to not carry so much of the load starts with awareness of what both parties are currently doing.

“The default parent is the one who is first in line to take care of the children’s needs and handle the tasks required to maintain a home and family,” says Aaron Steinberg, cofounder of Grow Together, a company working to normalize the

continued from page 9

struggles relationships undergo during parenthood.

Steinberg explains that you can tell if you are the default parent by asking yourself:

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Do you carry a disproportionate amount of the child caring and home responsibilities?

If your kid(s) needs something that requires the family routine to be interrupted, is it assumed that you will be the one whose day is altered?

If your partner is with your child and you’re in another room, will your child come to you instead of asking their other parent?

Are you the only one who is capable of being with your child(ren) for an overnight or extended period of time?

“It should be said that having a default parent is not necessarily a bad thing. Many folks want to be a default parent, and that structure works best for their family. The question is: Is this a team choice or is it assumed or forced?” For those who don’t want it the way it is, specific strategies can help.

How to equalize the load

Numerous tools exist to try to give families a visual demonstration of the many tasks they do to keep things rolling in the family. Rodsky even made it into a “card game,” which is less of a game and more of a deck of conversation starters, with one task per card. This allows couples to distribute the cards intentionally, and have meaningful conversations about default parenting. But, a simple list works just as well. Here are some additional strategies to share the load.

Become vocal about it

If your partner doesn’t know there’s a problem, that’s likely part of the problem. Casares says she shares her list of to-do’s on a consistent basis. “It can be quick for partners to forget all of the tiny minutiae that you take care of as a default parent,” she says, from signing up from camps to arranging after-school care. “It

can be pretty quick to be overlooked that you are doing a lot of that. Don’t be discouraged if you have to continually show your partner.”

Find support among other default parents

You can’t get support for a problem if nobody knows what you are talking about. Casares suggests finding couples who are also struggling with this, so you “aren’t alone and don’t feel crazy. It can also help with gaslighting if your partner denies you are carrying a lot of the mental load.”

Get professional input

If a couple is at odds about dividing the load, Casares says it might be time to get a third party involved to help, whether it’s a therapist, couples counselor or another type of facilitator. Grow Together and some other practitioners and organizations use a checklist system that catalogs all the responsibilities and has a system for dividing them, Steinberg says.

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Move past the concept of ‘fairness’ Steinberg says that it’s never going to be perfectly fair, a concept that is “impossible.” The pursuit of that can lead to couples coming up with a variety of “ridiculous

Put yourself in your partner’s place: Would you want to have a conversation with you about this issue?

schemes to address it,” he says, such as tracking hours on a spreadsheet. But that doesn’t mean people should live in a state of unfair roles. “It’s important for things to feel fair and that you’re on a team and in it together,” he says.

Get real about your communication style

Put yourself in your partner’s place: Would

you want to have a conversation with you about this issue? “Look honestly at your communication skills. There is a fork in the road depending on whether you lean superior and condescending or inferior and overly conciliatory in interactions with your partner,” Steinberg says. “Ask a friend who has seen you bicker with your partner, or [ask] your partner. If you lean superior, you should instead become very curious; if you lean inferior, you may need some firmness and more of a ‘standing up for yourself’ vibe.”

Schedule check-ins

If you find conversations that weigh down your mental load infiltrating every aspect of daily life, from bickering about who is picking up the kids to how little time you have to yourself, it’s time to schedule a daily, weekly or monthly check-in. “The Gottman [Institute] has a ‘State of the Union’ meeting about the relationship that happens at a regular interval. We say ‘Family System Check-in,’ and in Fairplay, they redo the card deck. This meeting, usually suggested as a weekly event, allows

couples to understand how the other is doing and how things are going generally, and make changes to their system,” says Steinberg.

When one partner won’t try to help the default parent

Unfortunately, there are some parents who aren’t interested in helping the default parent, equalizing the tasks or even discussing these disparities. Casares addresses this issue, explaining that becoming more equal as parents and partners won’t “happen overnight,” and that it’s a systemic problem she’s working on to make her daughters’ lives, and their children’s lives, more equitable.

However, this doesn’t mean that you have to stay in a relationship that is toxic or personally damaging to you. Steinberg says if all else is failing, you have to have some real conversations with yourself about your situation.

“If you’re all out of ideas, your next path would be to put all your cards out on the table in a vulnerable and honest way. How fed up are you, really? Are you considering leaving? What is the impact your partner or the circumstances is having on you, meaning how is this making you feel about

Having a “real” partner in your partnership isn’t too much to ask, and it’s “almost worse” to feel completely alone inside your relationship than out of it.

yourself? We’re talking about a ‘come to Jesus’ here. Let the tears, overwhelm, fear and frustration flow,” he says. “I know this sounds weird, but ideally you should be

willing to leave the relationship. To be clear, I am not a huge fan of divorce and I think people, on average, make that choice way too soon, but it is a boundary that can inhibit change. If you are not willing to leave the relationship and have a completely unwilling partner, your last recourse is changing your attitude.”

He says having a “real” partner in your partnership isn’t too much to ask, and it’s “almost worse” to feel completely alone inside your relationship than out of it.

But for many couples, calm and meaningful conversations about the invisible load will lighten that burden for everyone, and bring equity and peace back to parenting. Your kids, your partner and you deserve it. ■

Alexandra Frost is a Cincinnati-based freelance journalist, content marketing writer, copywriter and editor focusing on health and wellness, parenting, real estate, business, education, and lifestyle. Away from the keyboard, Alex is also mom to five little kids, who keep things chaotic, fun and interesting. To read more of her work or to connect, check out her website or her social media on X @alexfrostwrites or Instagram @frostfreelance.

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A Baby Lost, a Path to Healing Found

By Lori Sibal Peck

The envelope arrived innocently through the mail. The pastel color stood out immediately from the smattering of plain white envelopes. How could something with a tiny dancing elephant on it send a jolt through my heart? It was an invitation to a baby shower, but I didn’t need to check my calendar to know that I wouldn’t go.

I tried to attend one once, only to excuse myself after a brief appearance. The crowded living room was covered in balloons and streamers. As I walked through the party, I noticed that every trimester of pregnancy was represented by an attendee. Small talk topics ranged from breast pumps to contractions to nursing pads. My heart pounded, and I struggled to focus on creating coherent responses to seemingly benign questions while balancing a plate of uneaten cake on my lap. After contradicting myself about a detail I had made up to avoid a painful truth, I quickly excused myself and left. My face flushed with embarrassment as I fumbled my hasty goodbyes. That was when I decided that avoidance was the best option for dealing with the deep sadness and anxiety I felt anywhere near the topic of birth.

We were barely into our second year of marriage when we found out that I was pregnant. We were thrilled. I felt good, the doctor was encouraging, and I felt nervous but excited, like when the plane lifts off the ground on the way to an adventure. We even viewed the surprise twist that I was carrying twins as part of the thrilling ride.

However, it soon became obvious that there were problems with the pregnancy: Test results showed evidence of bile, problems with amniotic fluid and uneven heart rates. I couldn’t quite grasp it all as my brain raced to catch up to the possibility that the babies referred to clinically as “Twin A” and “Twin B” may be suffering from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome — a condition in which one twin receives the majority of the nutrients from the mother.

The path from our Brooklyn apartment to Lennox Hill Hospital became well-traveled. There was always another test, another scan. The weeks unfolded at an excruciatingly slow pace. However, we believed that if we could just get to that due date circled on the calendar — the finish line — everything would be fine.

Time hadn’t cured anything and had quite possibly made the wound deeper.

After promising amnio results raised our hopes, we were optimistic enough to consider having a baby shower. I went shopping and found a red dress that covered my enormous stomach yet still managed to have a semblance of style. Shortly before the shower was planned, at yet another ultrasound, things took a sudden and

drastic turn. “Twin A” (by now named Riley) was failing quickly, and his best chance for survival was for both twins to be delivered at 27 weeks. Sadly, we lost Riley after he spent two weeks in the NICU. But “Twin B” Kenzie was the tiny rock star waiting in the wings. We brought him home two months later without the baby shower or fanfare we had planned. Once home, life sped forward at a dizzying pace.

I got pregnant again two years later, and we decided to leave New York. I left my job to stay home with our toddler, and our new baby arrived with little fanfare just a handful of months after we moved to Seattle.

Knowing we were alone in a new city, my husband’s brand-new boss organized a small party in their department. Gathering with my husband’s brand-new coworkers to celebrate the anticipated arrival of our baby would be the closest I’d come to having a baby shower. To this day, planning that small gathering is still one of the kindest gestures I have ever known. I didn’t know anyone except my husband in that conference room, but I was grateful no one knew my backstory either. I was the only pregnant woman in the room, so we chatted about everything and anything else.

Weeks later, after our son had been born, the car felt full when we brought him home from the hospital. His big brother held his hand on the way home. We slowly made friends in our new city, some of whom had babies, which meant invitations to baby showers and lots of talk about birth stories

… and that became a problem.

Initially, it was easy to avoid conversations about birth — Oh, no! A full diaper. Oops! A spilled drink! I would create a reason to excuse myself whenever it would come up. I avoided baby showers. I told myself that my racing heart during conversations about delivery was nothing. The tingling hands and sinking feeling I felt in my heart when people spoke of baby showers would go away eventually. Yet years went by, and the anxiety remained.

Not too long ago, a new acquaintance mentioned she had twins, and I predictably fumbled and looked for a way to escape. Driving home that evening, I

realized that I hadn’t dealt with anything that had happened years ago when the twins were born. The pounding heart and clammy hands were as intense as the day I ran away from the baby shower I tried to attend all those years ago. I hadn’t moved on from my issues with birth; I had just kept going. Time hadn’t cured anything and had quite possibly made the wound deeper. Even though I felt ridiculous, I decided to start talking to a therapist about what had happened over a decade ago.

Through therapy, I’ve been able to deal with the trauma. I’ve dealt with the grief of losing my son and the birth experience that I didn’t have. I can now smile if you mention you have twins because I know how lucky you are.

As for baby showers, I still can’t go. Maybe someday I will. What I have realized is that birth is messy and unpredictable. It rarely goes as planned. It’s important to know that there are people who understand this, and that talking is more freeing than avoidance. Getting help is a gift you can give to yourself, even if it arrives late. ■

Lori Peck is a writer, designer and educator based in Seattle. She typically writes humor pieces that have appeared on sites such as Robot Butt, Frazzled and The Haven. When not spending time with her two teenage boys, husband and silly dogs, she can be found at a local open mic night performing stand-up comedy.

Play Ideas That Get Kids Interested in Science

It doesn’t have to be complicated; it just has to be fun

By Tiffany Pitts

Has anyone else ever been encouraged to “foster interest” in science for their kids? If so, you may have rushed out to drop serious cash on science-focused toys. But before making any more of those purchases, consider exactly what you’re trying to foster. Here’s a little secret: Science isn’t about beakers and tubes and quadratic equations. Science is a way of thinking. Science is being curious enough to ask questions and staying interested long enough to answer them.

Here are a few activities designed to stretch your child’s concentration, ranging from a few minutes of engagement to a few hours of exploration.

Be warned: Things are going to get messy, but unless danger is imminent, I suggest you stand back and give your child space. Making a mess is way more fun without parents hovering.

1. Make a cardboard/pillow/blanket fort.

Fort construction isn’t as simple as pushing three chairs together and throwing a flat sheet over them. You have to know which way to angle those chairs or the whole thing will collapse. To facilitate easy fort building, pick up a bag of spring clamps from your local hardware store.

Keep these and a fort-friendly sheet on standby for when you need two hours of time free from parenting.

Pro tip: To avoid a fight later on, be sure to set ground rules for what furniture can be used and how long forts can stay up.

2. Encourage kid chemistry.

Every kid I know loves this activity, even the ones who like to pretend they’re too grown up to make messes.

You’ll need two empty bowls, a source of water and every half-empty box of pancake mix, decade-old jar of spice and leftover bag of grain you’re never going to use again lurking in the back of the cupboard. If you keep a box of baking soda in the fridge, grab that, too. You may want to throw in a measure full of vinegar just to keep things interesting.

Lay a drop cloth in a spot where you don’t mind having a huge

mess (an outside location works best), and hand everything over to your kid(s) for experimentation. They will know what to do. You can check in frequently, but do not supervise. Set expectations early on about where to put garbage. They will need to know.

Pro tip: If you set up outside, be sure to point out which plants can be included in their experiments and which plants they should avoid.

3. Take stuff apart.

The school my kids attend offers this as an elective class about once a quarter. Basically, it’s exactly what the title says.

Kids get gloves, eye protection, tools and a whole bunch of junk. Busted VCRs, DVRs, microwaves, toasters, dot matrix printers, speakers — if it’s junk, it’s fair game. Afterward, kids learn where and how to recycle stuff.

Pro tip: Expired child car seats are a great place to start.

4. Get cooking.

Of all the things on this list, cooking is often underappreciated as a STEM-intensive activity. But what other discipline combines math, economics and artistic ability like cooking?

Start with a good kid-centered cookbook. Let your kid choose the recipe — no suggestions or helpful hints allowed. You don’t have to like it. Your child does.

Once they have a recipe, walk your kid through building a shopping list. At the store, let them do the shopping.

Back at home, you may need to help with the oven, but otherwise try to stay as uninvolved as possible.

My son discovered baking this way. His description of the process? “It’s like I learned a new superpower I didn’t know I had: the power of making brownies.” ■

Tiffany Pitts is a speculative fiction author native to the PNW. You can find her online at tiffanypitts.com, on Facebook or on X.

July 29–August 2, 2024 • 10am–12pm and 1–3pm IN PERSON CAMP Learn and Play Intro to Bridge (Hands-on basics for new players)

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5–9, 2024 • 9am–3pm (Bring lunch and snacks)

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Raising Great Kids

No Sh*t: The Do’s and Don’ts of Potty Training Regression

By Amber Guetebier

The sticker chart is filling up with gold stars when your toilet-trained child suddenly begins having accidents again. This is known as potty training regression, a time when a potty-trained child regresses and starts having accidents again. The good news is that this is fairly common and it’s temporary. In fact, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, regression is a way that a healthy child expresses emotional needs during times of stress.

Though potty training regression may be no cause for alarm, it’s wise to talk to your pediatrician to rule out any possible medical causes, such as a urinary

tract infection or constipation. For many children, regression happens because of something life is full of: change. Regression is often an expression of anxiety or stress over events, including a change in the child-care routine, moving, divorce, death or a new sibling. Even going on a trip or having guests can trigger a regression. Other causes can be excess pressure from a parent, distraction, or FOMO (fear of missing out) on the playground — or perhaps the child simply isn’t ready for toilet training yet.

So, what do you do? For starters, don’t punish your child or get angry. Try not to

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express disappointment. In her book “Potty Training Problems and Solutions,” author Miranda Travis writes, “It’s difficult not to show how frustrated you are when your child regresses. After all, you felt as if things were going great.” She encourages parents to simply acknowledge that the child had an accident and reassure them that they can do better next time.

Regression “do’s” for parents:

• Talk with your child without expressing disappointment or anger. Ask if they are afraid of using the toilet, or if something is making them scared, angry, anxious, etc.

• Get out that sticker chart and reward system and remind your child how great it is to use the toilet. Encourage them without pressure.

• Talk with day-care providers about it and find out how it’s handled there. Send extra underwear and wipes. If need be, go back to training pants for a while.

• Consider a special toy or bracelet to provide some consistency and familiarity. For example, setting a small rubber ducky on a shelf at day care; or in the bathroom of a new home, placing familiar objects from the old bathroom.

• Give your child one-on-one time, especially if a new sibling is in the mix.

• Create a hand signal. Sometimes older children, especially kids who are in preschool or older, are more embarrassed or too distracted as they play, so a hand signal can be a reminder that it’s time to use the toilet, without having to shout out the word “Potty!” across

If potty training regression lasts longer than a month, it may be time to take a break. Your child may not be ready yet, and that’s okay. It’s amazing how much difference a month or two can make. And although regression can happen frequently throughout the potty training process, sometimes it can occur with older kids. The transition between day care and preschool or preschool and kindergarten can be particularly trying, as can traumatic events. It’s all about patience and encouragement. After all, they’re only this little once. ■

Amber Guetebier is a freelance writer and editor and a mother with a penchant for pirates, plants and books, not necessarily in that order. Visit her at writhingink.com.

July 15 -19 or July 22-26 for girls age 4-6 Full Day Camp

Holidays Mother’s Day Her Way

Creative ideas for making her day as special as she is

By Rebecca Hastings

Mother’s Day is the perfect occasion to shower love on the moms in your life. While every gift is special, you can use this holiday as an opportunity to think about specific ways to make them feel appreciated.

First things first

Think about her. Truly. There are endless gift ideas out there, so selecting the right one can feel overwhelming. Before you make a purchase, spend a little time think ing about her as the unique individual that she is and ask yourself these questions:

• What makes her smile?

• What do I see her looking at in stores or on her phone?

• How can I make her feel special?

• Does she have a favorite hobby that she rarely makes time for?

• What is something she wouldn’t do for herself?

If you aren’t sure, ask some of the people she is close to, such as a good friend or a sibling. Remember, acknowledging her and making her feel understood mean focusing on her instead of what you think she needs.

Beyond the gift

what they truly want. Plus, asking that makes it one more decision she has to make.

along with from three to five wrapped gifts for the recipient to open at different points in the book. You can purchase single boxes as well as monthly and quarterly subscriptions; there are also subscription options for young adult and middle-grade readers.

Mother’s Day is about more than a gift. It’s an entire day dedicated to your favorite lady! Would she like breakfast in bed or would she prefer to sleep in? Is she hoping to spend the day with the kids or would some “me time” be appreciated?

You can ask her questions like this, but avoid simply asking, “What do you want to do?” Many moms are uncomfortable saying

A lot of moms will appreciate and benefit from a combination of time to themselves and time with the family. That could look like a family hike, followed by some time for her to nap or read. Another great idea is to take her to breakfast with the kids and then drop her off for a massage or spa treatment that you’ve already scheduled for that day.

Creative gift ideas

To help you get started, here are some unique ideas for gifts that all types of moms will love.

For the book lover: Once Upon a Book Club offers a creative approach to a book subscription service. Each box contains a book

For the puzzler: Jiggy offers art in puzzle form. Cited as one of Oprah’s Favorite Things, these specially-crafted puzzles are fun to put together and come with glue for preserving the beautiful artwork once it has been assembled.

For the foodie: Make her life extra tasty with a gift or gift card from Goldbelly. This gourmet food market service features gifts from around the country. From a prepared lobster dinner from Maine or barbecue straight from Texas to a special Ina Garten cake or macarons from Paris, you’re sure to find tasty treats your unique mom will love.

For the mom who needs to relax: Luxury candles from Noa Lux or Opal Road are special choices she probably wouldn’t splurge on for herself. Plus, both companies are woman-owned, a sweet bonus. If she needs a little more help in relaxing, Pure Enrichment is a purveyor of products designed to enhance comfort and wellness.

Remember, Mother’s Day isn’t about being perfect. It is about celebrating the mom in your life and making her feel special. Make it about her, shop early and plan the day to give her a Mother’s Day she won’t forget. ■

Rebecca Hastings is a former teacher who is passionate about faith and family.

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Out + About

Petal Pushers

Stop and smell the flowers at these local flower farms

By Kate Missine

Nothing says spring quite like a bunch of sweet-smelling, just-blossomed flowers in all the colors of the rainbow. And where best to find this seasonal bounty than directly at the source: local flower farms that grow the entire spectrum of floral varieties.

An excursion to a flower farm makes for

a delightful family outing on a sunny day. Some farms let visitors cut their own flowers, while others combine the experience with bonus farm activities, such as animal encounters and tasty treats. From tiny urban flower stands to farther- afield daytrip destinations, these local flower farms let you stop and smell the flowers.

Photo courtesy of West Seattle Flower Farm

Photo courtesy of Wilderbee Farm

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Homegrown: Get your freshly picked blooms at these Seattle-area farms

West Seattle Flower Farm

Small but mighty aptly describes this micro flower farm in Seattle’s Highland Park neighborhood. Owner Stephanie, a self-professed “wannabe urban farmer and recovering plant killer” (and mom to a toddler) began her business as a hobby that, she says, “got a bit out of hand.” Her biggest flower love are whimsical, colorful dahlias, which she grows in the summer and sells their tubers in spring. While the tiny farm isn’t open to the public, Stephanie runs an adorable flower stand selling

freshly cut flowers and bouquets in Mason jars in front of her home in the spring and fall. She also offers bouquet subscriptions during the two growing seasons.

Fresh Flower Farm

What started as an immigrant family’s American dream in 1995 has grown from its humble beginnings as a small flower stand to a flower farm covering more than 14 acres. Operating today in the Kent Valley and Monroe, this family-run flower business is celebrating 26 years of making people happy with their local, freshly cut flowers and beautiful floral arrangements. The season opens in March, and all manner of stunning blooms await — such as rainbow tulips, cheery daffodils, delicate

peonies and other varieties. Pick out one of their gorgeous bouquets on-site, or pre-order online to save time.

Whistling Train Farm

Another gem tucked away in the fertile Kent Valley, Whistling Train Farm lets visitors cut flowers fresh from its fields. Pick up a pair of clippers and a pitcher (or bucket if you’re going big) and clip to your heart’s content as you wander the pretty planted rows, each conveniently marked with the flower name for those who are not wellversed in the garden arts. The containers need to stay on the farm, so bring your own to transport your blooms home. Don’t trust yourself to clip? The staff can help cut the flowers for you. There are two

Photos courtesy of Flower Farmer Girls

U-pick flower options: $15 for a pitcher of blooms and $30 for a bucket, and is free for the farm’s CSA members.

Flower Farmer Girls

A love of flowers passed down through generations powers this farm in Snohomish, run by a mother-and-daughter duo. A spin-off of the popular pumpkin patch destination Swan’s Trail Farms, Flower Farmer Girls started as a small homestead in 2013 and is now home to a variety of organically grown perennial and annual blooms. While the flowers aren’t sold to walk-in customers, the farm offers several bouquet subscription options for the spring and summer: Choose your season or flower varietal, and take home a gorgeous floral arrangement each week from April through September.

Oxbow Farm and Conservation Center

Local families already know and love

Oxbow Farm for its awesome offerings, such as its educational farm tours and fall festivities. Now, there’s one more reason to stop by in the spring and summer: its U-pick flower fields. Sunflowers, zinnias and strawflowers are just a sampling of what’s in bloom during those seasons. Create your own freshly cut bouquets ($2 per stem or 10 stems for $15). Then, head out to explore the farm’s awesome living playground, climbing tractor and nature trails, or enjoy a picnic with some goodies from the farm stand.

First Light Farm

Carnation’s First Light Farm and Learning Center focuses on connecting people to the land through its sustainable farming practices and various programs, such as the mini farm community gardens, CSA and U-pick harvest offerings. In the spring and summer, this also means flowers, beginning with bright yellow daffodils, the harbin-

gers of sunshine. Families are welcome to come and cut their own (bring your own scissors). While there, load up on the other U-pick goodies for your dinner table, such as veggies, fruit and other fresh produce.

Snofalls Lavender

Ahh, lavender! This familiar fragrant floral is touted for its relaxation-inducing properties and versatile use in everything from cooking to cosmetics. Fields of it also make stunning photo backdrops. And Seattle-area families now have one in their own backyard. Snofalls Lavender in Fall City welcomes visitors for its lavender season, which usually starts sometime in July. Entry is $5 (free for kids 12 and younger) and includes a U-cut bouquet (baskets and scissors are provided) and plenty of photo ops in the lovely fields of purple, white and pink flowers. Pick up one of the farm’s lavender-scented goodies, such as soaps, sachets or essential oils, before you leave.

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Floral field trips: Make it a day trip and drive out to these blossoming destinations

Chocolate Flower Farm

You won’t have any trouble luring the kids out to a farm called Chocolate Flower Farm. You may want to warn them, though, that the flowers are not, in fact, made of chocolate. The name comes from the rare, dark-colored varieties that the Whidbey Island farm specializes in growing. But

the kids won’t be disappointed. There is plenty of chocolaty goodness to be picked up along with your blooms, from fudge and jams to chocolate-infused candles and body products. There are also chocolate-themed veggies to pick (chocolate cherry tomatoes!), and two friendly goats to meet, along with ducks, geese and chickens that lay chocolate-colored eggs.

Sequim Lavender Experience

True to its reputation, the town of Sequim on the Olympic Peninsula transforms lav-

continued from page 29

Purple Haze Lavender. Photo by Allison Sutcliffe

ender into an experience not to be missed. More than a dozen farms offer lavender goodies galore all summer long, along with stunning field settings, lavender-themed festivals, special events and shopping. Kid-friendly picks include Fleurish Lavender farm for its cute alpacas, fruit orchards and yard games, as well as nearly 100 lavender varieties; and Purple Haze Lavender for its yummy lavender-flavored ice cream and lemonade.

Wilderbee Farm

This beautiful farm just outside the quaint town of Port Townsend has almost every type and variety of flower you can think of —- all available for you to cut for a $9 twist-tie bouquet. More than 70 organic ornamentals, herbs and edibles are available, including more than 30 varieties of vibrant, spotlight-grabbing dahlias alone; baskets and snips are provided. There are also activities to be had on your visit, including visiting with cute farm critters for the kids and imbibing in a mead tasting room for the grown-ups.

Got your gorgeous bunch of flowers? Here’s how to keep them looking pretty for longer:

Get the stems out of the hot sun and into a cool place as soon as possible. (Consider visiting the farm in the morning, when the blooms are at their freshest.)

Submerge the stems in water as soon as you can; once home, cut the stems again while keeping the ends underwater, which helps absorb moisture and avoid vapor lock.

Before you go:

Check each farm’s social media or call for calendar updates before coming out. Farming is unpredictable, and opening hours, harvest availability and other conditions can turn on a dime.

Check whether the farm provides everything you need. If not, pack your own containers and shears.

Shade at the fields is often limited; don’t forget to bring hats, sunscreen, plenty of water and pack a snack or picnic lunch, if allowed at the farm. ■

Kate Missine is a lifestyle writer, food lover and a girly girl raising two little boys. She has lived up and down the West Coast before settling in beautiful Sammamish with her family.

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Lunch Relaunch

Reinvigorate your school lunch routine with these inspiring (and easy) ideas

By Vicky McDonald

It’s nearing the end of the school year, and many parents are feeling tapped out creatively, especially when it comes to packing school lunches. In fact, if you’re not falling back on the same old, same old to make it through these last few weeks of school, you’re doing better than most. The next time you’re confronted by the gaping maw of an empty lunch box and need something — anything! — to fill it, try something from our reader-curated list of lunch ideas. They’re easy, mostly healthy and guaranteed to be eaten (according to parents).

• Prosciutto, hard-boiled eggs, cucumbers and strawberries.

• Stick and trees (pretzels and broccoli) and ants on a log (celery and peanut butter with raisins).

• Mini Brie cheese, almond nut thins and strawberries.

• Tortilla roll-ups, cream cheese, turkey or ham and ribbon-sliced cucumber.

• Yogurt with granola, crackers and cheese, seaweed, dried fruit, fresh fruit and cheese sticks.

• Frozen pupusas from a PCC Community Market. Heat them up in the morning, and they’ll still be warm for lunch.

• Hawaiian buns with ham and cheese.

• Bento-box-style lunch containers are lifesavers. Pack something green (snap peas, sautéed broccoli or roasted Brussels sprouts), another veggie (sliced bell pepper, frozen corn), fruit (apple, pear or berries), and fat (cheese, nuts or a Perfect Bar). Other favorites include pickled beets, olives and sunflower butter on a tortilla, cut into triangles.

• Almost anything rolled in a tortilla (PB and banana; hummus with carrots and

cucumber; cream cheese and jam).

• Salami and cheese with a side of fruit.

• A deconstructed burrito of black bean, rice, chicken and cheese layered in a thermos with guacamole and salsa on top. ■

When not working, former ParentMap digital editor Vicky McDonald can be found running after her two kids or cooking up something tasty in the kitchen.

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Neighborhood Spotlight

Vashon-Maury Island

By Madison Miller

THE VIBE

If there’s one word that describes Vashon-Maury Island, it’s “eclectic.” Nicknamed the “Heart of the Sound” by locals, due to its central location in Puget Sound and quick ferry access to Seattle and Tacoma, this island measures about 13 miles long and 8 miles wide. Though the island is small, it has charm aplenty, which you can experience by visiting its cute and quirky shops and cafes, along with its beautiful parks and beaches.

PLAY

A trek to Vashon wouldn’t be complete without paying a visit to Point Robinson park. The roughly 10-acre park and historic site now features two main attractions: the Point Robinson Lighthouse and Oscar the Bird King.

The lighthouse originally served as a fog and signal station in the mid-1880s, but now operates as a historic site where people can rent the preserved Keepers’ Quarters to stay in. It also makes an excellent lookout point for viewing marine life.

Oscar the Bird King

Point Robinson Lighthouse

continued from page 35

Oscar the Bird King arrived on the island in September 2023. Created by Thomas Dambo, Oscar was the fifth of six troll sculptures the Danish artist brought to the Pacific Northwest. Made out of wood and recycled materials and sitting about 20 feet tall, Oscar lives in a grove in the northern part of the park.

Dockton Park and Marina is a great place to play and look at the boats. The park recently unveiled its new nautical-themed playground. Although the playground is currently closed to the public, it is scheduled to reopen in time for summer break.

Spring weather can be hard to predict, so it’s always a good idea to have an indoor play option. Fortunately, kids can head to Burton Adventure Recreation Center (BARC) for a fun skating session. No equipment? No problem, you can rent it there (along with disc golf discs, ping-pong paddles, volley balls, corn hole beanies and more).

One of the things Vashon is known for is its rich arts scene. With many restaurants and cafes regularly hosting musical performers and the Vashon Center for the Arts presenting concerts, dance and theater performances, talks (and more!), there’s bound to be something entertaining to see. Tip: Come to the island the weekend of May 10–11 to catch a performance of “Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Jr.”

EATS + TREATS

The name The Hardware Store hardly

evokes images of culinary delights, yet the restaurant bearing that moniker is where you’ll get one of the best meals on the island. Although it doesn’t have a dedicated kids’ menu, there are so many things to choose from that it shouldn’t be a problem to find something delicious to eat. I recommend the classic cod fish and chips for lunch.

Looking for lighter fare? Head to the Snapdragon Bakery & Cafe. This adorable spot serves some of the best rustic pastries in town. I recommend the blackberry cinnamon coffee cake paired with an iced

mocha, although you can’t go wrong with the chocolate chip cookies which are the size of your head. It also offers great lunchtime items, all of which are vegetarian.

If you want to eat like the locals do, go to the Vashon Sugar Shack. The restaurant/ concert venue specializes in tasty dishes and great music. Its menu changes almost daily, so the only way to stay in-the-know is to follow its Facebook page or sign up for daily emails. ■

Madison Miller is ParentMap’s trends and engagement editor.

Photo courtesy of Snapdragon Bakery & Cafe

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May Play List

This month is all about flower power, baby animals and moms, of course

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar

By Julie Dodobara

It’s May, the month to celebrate moms, grandmas and all other mother figures in your life, so let the pampering begin! But, important as they are, there’s more to May than moms. Our hand-picked best-of list includes handson exhibits, fantastic fairs, big rigs, baby animals, free comic books, cultural festivals and more. We’ve even got ideas for Mother’s Day outings the whole family will enjoy. Don’t miss the springtime bonanza happening this month!

� Revel in the season of new beginnings at Maris Farms’ Baby Animals and Blooms Days. Snap seasonal photos by the tulip fields, buy goodies at the farm market and visit baby animals; plus, ride the cow train, jump on the jumping pillow and cruise down the tube slides. Saturday–Sunday, May 4–5 and 11–12. $16–$18; book tickets online.

� Moms, take an hour for yourselves for a can’t-miss talk about why, as caretakers, it’s important to nurture yourselves. You’ll also learn some ways to do just that.

Join ParentMap and veteran self-compassion facilitators Yaffa Maritz and Kelly Moore for lessons in

self-care, self-awareness and emotional resilience. Preregister and tune in on Wednesday, May 1, 1–2 p.m. Free.

� Need a break from screen time? Score a free comic book and get your family reading. This enticing giveaway happens annually on Free Comic Book Day, when local participating comic book shops give out their goods for free. Mark your calendars for Saturday, May 4.

� Delight your railroad fans with a day trip to Skykomish to enjoy unlimited free rides on scale mini trains. Saturday and Sunday, May 4 and 5 are the first two dates of the season for the Great Northern and Cascade

Railway as it welcomes fans of all ages. Trains continue to run on weekends through the last weekend of October.

� Turn up for an old-fashioned good time and celebrate Tacoma’s history during Heritage Preservation Month at

Unlimited free rides on scale mini trains in Sykomish

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the Old Town Craft & Music Fest. Enjoy live music, heritage crafts and family activities. Saturday, May 4, 11 a.m.–3 p.m. at Old Town Park. Free.

� It’s a fiesta para la familia! Gather with your friends, family and community to celebrate Cinco de Mayo at Downtown Redmond Park on Sunday, May 5. Organizers have seven hours of entertainment lined up starting at 11 a.m., all of it highlighting traditional Mexican culture, including lively music, dancing and lots of delicious food. Free; food for purchase.

� The big rigs, garbage trucks and emergency vehicles roll out Saturday, May 11 for the amusement of young truck enthusiasts. Sammamish welcomes the community back to its free hands-on Rig-A-Palooza event, which also includes bouncy houses, face painting, a balloon artist and more. 11 a.m. –2 p.m.

� Experience the cultures of Africa through both traditional and modern music and dance at the next Seattle Center Festál series event, Spirit of Africa, on Saturday, May 11. Don’t miss the workshops, interactive exhibits and tech-inspired fashion representing cultures of the African countries and the African diaspora. Free.

� All moms will be delighted to receive a gorgeous bouquet of locally grown tulips, peonies and other blooms for Mother’s Day. Choose your perfect bunch from local farmers

May 18–19 | Saturday–Sunday

Lacey Spring Fun Fair

Saint Martin’s University

during Pike Place Market’s annual flower festival, happening Saturday–Sunday, May 11–12, 11 a.m.–4 p.m.

� Treat Mom to a day at the docks to check out wooden boats of all vintages and sizes at the Olympia Wooden Boat Fair, taking place at Percival Landing Park, Saturday–Sunday, May 11–12, 11 a.m.–4 p.m. There will also be live music, arts and crafts booths, and a boatbuilding activity for kids (Saturday only). Free.

� The Syttende Mai tradition marches on—hipp hipp hurra! Ballard’s beloved 17th of May Parade is back, happening on — you guessed it — Friday, May 17. This special day brings marching bands, elementary kids on unicycles, Scandinavian organizations and the whole neighborhood together. The parade starts at 6 p.m. and runs along Northwest Market Street.

� It’s nonstop fun for kids and it’s all free at the Lacey Spring Fun Fair, taking place Saturday–Sunday, May 18–19. This weekendlong event features free rides, inflatables, live entertainment, a circus train, emergency vehicles, and a car show on Sunday. New this year is a STEM Fair on Saturday — what more could you ask for?

� A Memorial Day weekend tradition that goes back more than 50 years, our community’s iconic Northwest Folklife Festival welcomes all to Seattle Center Friday–Monday, May 24–27. Bring the kids to this free family-friendly festival to take

in amazing performances, cultural traditions and ideas, while doing some people-watching.

May 25–Sept. 22

“Towers of Tomorrow with Lego Bricks”

Museum of History & Industry

and continues through Sept. 22. Entry included with museum admission; $25 adult, ages 14 and younger are free.

Music, dance, workshops, interactive exhibits and much more at Seattle Center Festál series event Spirit of Africa

� Young architects, builders and Lego fans won’t want to miss the Museum of History & Industry’s (MOHAI) new exhibition showcasing the world’s tallest buildings made of Lego bricks. Visitors can erect their own skyscrapers using some of the 200,000 loose bricks at their disposal in construction areas. “Towers of Tomorrow with Lego Bricks” opens May 25

� On Memorial Day, Monday, May 27, honor local service members who have died in the line of duty as well as veterans and active military in Arlington’s moving annual Memorial Day Parade. The parade begins at 10 a.m. and runs along North Olympic Avenue. ■

Julie Dodobara is ParentMap’s calendar editor.

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Celebrate spring and Mother’s Day! Enjoy the brilliant blooms plus a scavenger hunt, lawn games, Mother’s Day card craft, live music and more! lakewoldgardens.org/ mayfest-2023-get-tickets

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