ParentMap June 2021 Issue by ParentMap

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Fantastic Farm Stays For Fams Frolic with critters and learn about local food on a working Northwest farm

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8 Ways to Prevent Pandemic Languishing Effective strategies to help your child counteract the COVID-19 blahs

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PNW INSIDE + OUT

Oh, Daddy! Great ways to celebrate the big guy in your life this Father’s Day 9/

Visit the

Award-Winning

Children’s Museum On Olympia’s East Bay Waterfront

INSPIRED LEARNING

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ONE OF THE 10 BEST BOTANICAL GARDENS IN THE U.S. — USA Today, 2020

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Photo from El Dorado Boulders Photos Ph t ttaken k pre CCovid-19 id 19

Big Adventures Ne w ! Bouldering on the Beach Exhibit Sluicing for Treasure • Digging for Dinos Rock wall • Scribble Stones • Visiting Artists Sock Skating • Sailboat Regatta • Solar Days

Explore!

A short ferry ride from downtown Seattle, there is a place where kids (and adults) of all ages can discover the wonders of Nature. Step into the ever-changing landscapes of Bloedel Reserve on Bainbridge Island—150 acres of sculpted gardens, blooming meadows, verdant forests, water, wildlife, and comfortable trails designed especially for exploring the beauty that is the Paciﬁc Northwest. Come discover what a walk in the woods can do. Book your visit at bloedelreserve.org/tickets.

150 Exhibits • MakeSpace • Art Studio Nature Play • Outdoor Discovery Center Online reservations required. Visit hocm.org 414 Jefferson St. NE • Olympia, WA 98501 • (360) 956-0818 • www.hocm.org 2 / PA R E N T M A P. C O M

OPEN TUES–SUN. | 206–842–7631 | bloedelreserve.org

C ONTENTS

June

2021

PARENTMAP.COM In Every Issue Dear Reader Play List

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Local Resources Schools + Preschools Camps: Water Sports + Swimming

8 17

Parenting

Feature

ENDURING COVID-19

Fantastic Farm Stays Around Washington 12 Frolic with critters and learn about local food on a working Northwest farm

Stories From Our Transforming World 6 New exhibit educates, inspires and motivates action FATHER’S DAY FUN

Great Ways to Celebrate Dear Old Dad on Father’s Day 9 Recipes, gifts, cards and more ideas to show Pop some love FAMILY MEDIA

10 Awesome Books With Heroic Asian Characters Inspiring books for early readers, middle-grade kids and young adults

The June Play List 20 Oodles of ideas to fill your days with early-summer bliss

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EDUCATION

Cut This Out: ‘Bee’ a Pollinator Pal 15 5 ways your family can create a pollinator-friendly garden Just Add Water Terrific summer camps that are all about the H2O

Family Fun

WELLNESS

8 Tips for Post-Pandemic Parenting 23 How to practice kindness, compassion and patience as we return to ‘normal’

“Parents and parenting do not make kids gay (and cannot turn them straight), but parents can make a child feel either happy or miserable.”

Expert tips for how to combat an insidious form of pandemic harm: languishing

p. 31

AGES + STAGES

8 Ways to Protect Your Kid From Pandemic Languishing 27 Effective strategies to help your teen counteract the COVID-19 blahs

PARENT POINTERS

Pride Begins at Home 31 How to create a safe space for your queer kid

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DE AR R E ADER

In praise and celebration of all good fathers In one of my very favorite photographs of my father, he is decked out in his Army Air Corps serviceman’s uniform and hat (the latter perched at a jaunty, likely non-regulation angle), and he is leaning languidly and impertinently against a large tree in the middle of a grassy, park-like setting. Very visible just a couple of feet away in the background of the shot is a posted sign that screams in all caps: KEEP OFF THE GRASS. This photo was taken sometime during his WWII officer training — not sure what year this would have been, but he is probably around 23 years old and (I think) already a first-time father. What is absolutely clear is that this is a man who appears to have cornered the market in self-confidence. I frequently pore over this photo, taking in every minute detail of it. While I recognize this young, yet-to-be-tested pilot, he seems a swaggering palimpsest of the calm, wise and authoritative man who raised me. By the time I arrived en scène more than three decades after the photo was taken (as the youngest of his six children, a progeny of his second longstanding marriage), my father was a well-established man in his mid-fifties who demonstrated a far less cavalier regard for breaking (and for making) the rules. My dad was deeply revered by his family and by those in our community — maybe he was even a bit intimidating to some. But my most vivid memories of him of course involve the more personal interactions of our family life: his exceptionally tender care of our horses and dogs; the way he cultivated our huge garden or delighted in fishing; the teasing interactions with his many friends; how he cherished our mother; his sweet and patient manner when teaching me and my brother how to do things, how to navigate challenges, and how to treat other people with respect and fairness. Let’s just say, he had become a man who understood the importance of keeping off the grass. In this month when we celebrate all of our good fathers, what inspires me about that photo of my dad is the comforting realization that, over time, we are transformed irrevocably — and very much for the better — because we are parents. To use an apt Father’s Day metaphor for all of you who like a good whisky, parenting is a distillation of love, a process whereby the quality improves through an ongoing vaporing off of our youthful and self-interested presumptions, preoccupations and pretensions. Cheers to that. We at ParentMap raise a loving Father’s Day toast to all you dear dads. — Patty Lindley, managing editor

JUNE 2021, VOL. 18, NO. 6

What’s your family’s favorite Father’s Day tradition?

PUBLISHER

Alayne Sulkin EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR Patty Lindley OUT + ABOUT EDITOR Nancy Chaney DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Vicky McDonald

BIG breakfast, golf, BIG dinner!

DIGITAL CONTENT PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Nicole Persun OUT + ABOUT EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Devon Hammer COPY EDITOR Sunny Parsons CONTRIBUTORS Gemma Alexander, Lauren Braden, Erin B. Bernau, Devon Hammer, Laura Kastner, Ph.D., Angelica Lai, Jo Langford, M.A., Kate Missine, Nicole Persun

Going out to breakfast with our PEPS Group families

DIGITAL MARKETING DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER Lindsey Carter EMAIL + SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST Angelica Lai DIGITAL MARKETING COORDINATOR Taryn Weiner

ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS

Breakfast, a trip to the bookstore and a walk in the woods

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Fire up the old grill and play some lawn games

EVENTS EVENT OPERATIONS Brenna McCown

ART + PRODUCTION SENIOR DESIGNER Amy Chinn

ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER Carolyn Brendel

Making his favorite key lime bars with the kids

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CONTACT INFORMATION

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ParentMap is published monthly. PMB #190, 7683 S.E. 27th St., Mercer Island, WA 98040 | All rights reserved; reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited. © ParentMap 2021 • printed in Oregon

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PA R E N T M A P / J U N E 2 0 2 1 / 5

On Exhibit Enduring COVID-19 New Gates Foundation Discovery Center exhibit shares stories from our transforming world By Gemma Alexander

Most museums exist to help us understand the past. But the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Discovery Center (discovergates.org) is not quite a museum, and its exhibits are all about the present. “The Discovery Center hopes to educate, inspire and motivate people,” says Charlotte Beall, deputy director of the Discovery Center. “To educate people about disparities and global issues that are affecting the poorest and most marginalized communities worldwide; to inspire people and show that progress is being made in alleviating some of these disparities, especially in health and development; and then inspire people to take action in their own lives. We all can contribute in some way.” And while the global issues explored at the Discovery Center are usually centered in places far away from Seattle, the current pandemic affects every one of us directly. That makes it a perfect topic for a Discovery Center exhibit. For its “Enduring COVID-19: Stories From Our Transforming World” exhibit (discovergates.org/enduringcovid19), which launched in early May, the Discovery Center created an interactive online story bank profiling the pandemic responses of heroic community members and organizations. Later this year, when it is safe to do so, the Discovery Center will reopen to the public with an expanded physical installation of the exhibit.

Educate and inspire

“The biggest motivation is to connect with people about something that is happening

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to all of us and to find that commonality in bringing communities together to support each other. The more we can do to support each other as we continue to endure the COVID-19 pandemic, the stronger we will be coming out of it,” says Beall.

“These are community voices that often aren’t heard, and it’s important that we share those voices and share those stories.” The stories of individual heroes are organized according to five themes as a way to explore the different ways that people are coming together to survive the pandemic and mitigate the long-standing inequities in society that have been laid bare by the pandemic. The themes are: 1. Meeting the needs of the community – Even in “unprecedented times,” everyone needs food and shelter. How do we fight homelessness and hunger during lockdowns and social distancing, which both contribute to and complicate these problems? 2. Fighting and treating COVID-19 – How do you treat a brand-new disease? How do you cure it? The medical community worldwide has banded together to not only study the virus and learn how to treat it, but to develop multiple effective vaccines in record-breaking time. 3. Spreading joy and healing – COVID-19 has challenged our hearts as well as our health. Each person who has worked to protect

mental health, provide connection among socially distanced communities or preserve the arts is another kind of hero. 4. Sharing critical information – Fake news has been a hot topic for years, but COVID-19 has made it a life-threatening problem. Learn how people have come together to stop the spread of misinformation and educate people about the rapidly evolving science behind public health measures and vaccination. 5. Essential workers meeting everyday needs – Whether it’s emergency first responders, health-care workers, grocery store checkers or package delivery drivers, thousands of people every day go to workplaces that present an elevated COVID-19 risk in order to meet everyone’s needs.

Enduring COVID-19

The Gates Foundation partnered with South Seattle Emerald (southseattleemerald.com) to compile media-rich stories of local heroes. For each theme, the virtual exhibit highlights one inspiring hero in an interactive, layered story that visitors can click through or explore more deeply. Combining video, portraits and text, the stories celebrate local individuals and organizations whose work has had global relevance to the pandemic response. “These are community voices that often aren’t heard, and it’s important that we share those voices and share those stories,” says Beall. The Gates Foundation does not have a timeline yet for reopening the physical

space at the Discovery Center. But when it does, a kiosk will feature the content of the virtual “Enduring COVID-19” exhibit, together with additional stories and a timeline of the pandemic that will be displayed on the walls. For visitors, there will be a space for reflection, where they can share their own stories. (The digital exhibit will also feature some version of this as well.)

VIRTUAL SCHOOL PROGRAMS

The Discovery Center exhibits tend to be very textheavy and focus on weighty topics, which makes them best for middle-school-age kids and older. However, with no admission fees and no need to find parking, there is no risk in checking out the virtual exhibit with younger kids. Beall encourages anyone who is old enough to read to take a look. “COVID has affected all of us, and there will be something for everybody. There will be strong visuals using photography and video, so I do think that younger [kids] would get a lot out of it,” says Beall.

Motivation

If you and your child are motivated to act, each story comes complete with resources, such as relevant organizations where you can donate or volunteer. There are at-home activities sections on the website as well as virtual age-specific group tours (four of the middle school tours focus on COVID-related topics). While specific actions are offered in the story resources and on at-home action pages, Beall says, the intention is to provide motivation, not instructions. “It could be as simple as sharing kindness to your neighbor. We’re not trying to prescribe how to get involved. But I think involvement and engagement in your community in some way is what we hope for,” says Beall. After a year of social isolation, that kind of involvement could be exactly what most of us need to endure COVID-19. ■ Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet.

Learn about making a difference on pressing issues facing our world.

Sponsored by

Explore interactive exhibits and find ways you can take action at the Gates Foundation Discovery Center, discovergates.org.

discovergates.org/educationprograms discovergates

PA R E N T M A P / J U N E 2 0 2 1 / 7

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / S CH O O L S + PR ES CH O O L S

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3/10/21 8:44 AM

7/17/20 7:34 PM

Father’s Day Great Ways to Celebrate Dear Old Dad on Father’s Day Recipes, gifts, cards and more ideas to show Pop some love By Nicole Persun When it comes to celebrating Dad, it’s best to keep it simple: a great dinner, a cold beer and a few heartfelt gifts from the kids. Still, simple doesn’t mean the day can’t be special. We’ve rounded up our favorite ways to spoil Dad, from super recipes to unique yard games to DIY gifts. Keep reading for the best ways to thank Dad for being the greatest guy around.

Cool off with a sweet treat S’mores + frozen pops = the best Father’s Day treat ever! The blog 52 Kitchen Adventures shares a clever hot-weather dessert recipe that’s sure to go great with burgers and beer. Cool off with our collection of more summer treat recipes at parentmap.com/cool-treats. Indulge Dad’s competitive streak A good ol’ lawn game is sure to make Dad laugh all day long. You’re probably familiar with cornhole and bocce, but have you heard of Spikeball or Viking bowling? We have a whole host of fun and unique Father’s Day games in this roundup at parentmap.com/lawn-games.

Treat Dad to a gourmet burger … Whiskey barbecue sliders from The Pioneer Woman blog are a mouthwatering dinner recipe that’s sticky, spicy, sweet and perfect for summer. If red meat isn’t his thing, we have a whole list of burger recipes to suit any dad, from portobello and black bean to salmon burgers. Yum! parentmap.com/burgers

Brew a mug full of appreciation … Engage the kiddos in a fun DIY activity, such as a cute mug-decorating craft that doubles as a sweet keepsake that Dad will use all the time. The blog Crafts by Amanda has all the instructions. Looking for more ideas? We’ve rounded up some great Father’s Day DIY projects for kids at parentmap.com/dad-gifts.

… and a cold beer Treat Dad to a top-rated local beer at one of the many family-friendly breweries in Greater Seattle. From Fremont Brewing Co. to Lumber House Brewery in South King County, we’ve got brewpub suggestions for dads in all corners of the Puget Sound region. Check out parentmap.com/brews.

… or just lend a hand For the little kiddos, this sweet “handmade” card is a perfect project to show Dad just how much they care. A Day in My Life blog has all the handy instructions! Tell Pop he’s super (get it?) How do you tell Dad he’s a superhero? A batch of Superman cake pops, courtesy of Bakerella, is a good place to start. Red velvet cake meets melted candy decorations in this heroic recipe he’s sure to love. parentmap.com/cake-pops

Make Dad’s first Father’s Day extra special If he’s a new dad who wears his heart on his sleeve, get him “Letters to My Baby,” a book of writing prompts. This sweet booklet guides Dad in composing letters to his baby, to be read by the child when they’re older. It’s a nostalgic, heartfelt gift that’ll make Dad smile for years to come. parentmap.com/new-dad

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Nicole Persun is ParentMap’s digital content production coordinator.

Paperweight for dad Photo by craftsbyamanda.com

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10 Awesome Books With Heroic Asian Characters Inspiring books for early readers, middle-grade kids and young adults By Angelica Lai Instead of casting Asians as sidekicks or background characters, these kids’ books center Asian people as the heroes of their stories, whether they’re overcoming an internal conflict or fighting space crime with superpowers. These picks offer Asian American kids an important opportunity to see themselves represented, and they build nuanced worlds for all readers, exposing them to new perspectives and experiences.

Books for early readers (ages 4–8) “A Path of Stars” by Anne Sibley O’Brien Dara in “A Path of Stars” loves listening to the stories her grandma, Lok Yeay, shares about growing up in Cambodia. Sometimes she tells Dara about the stars that look like fireflies or the delicious mangoes of her native land. Other times she recounts more sorrowful moments, such as the pain caused by the Khmer Rouge (without being graphic). But Lok Yeay stops telling stories when she learns that her brother in Cambodia has died. In this generational picture book about heavy themes such as memory, grief and hope, Dara steps up and helps her grandmother heal through meaningful symbols and a story of her own. “Hana Hashimoto, Sixth Violin” by Chieri Uegaki, illustrated by Qin Leng Vivid words and enchanting illustrations create music in the pages of “Hana Hashimoto, Sixth

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Violin.” In this picture book, which is perfect for young musicians, readers can “hear” the chirp of crickets and see raindrops lightly tapping on paper umbrellas as they follow Hana’s ambitious attempt to play at her school’s talent show. Inspired by her ojichan’s (grandfather’s) violin playing, Hana shows that with practice, resilience and a lot of heart she can bring Ojichan’s spirit to life. “King for a Day” by Rukhsana Khan, illustrated by Christiane Krömer Kids will become immersed in this elaborately illustrated book about Basant, the spring kite-flying festival. Malik, the story’s protagonist, is pictured in a wheelchair; he wants to be the king of Basant and to do so, he needs to take down everyone else’s kite. The determined boy works with his sister to take the skies and stand up to the bully next door. “King for a Day” is a great book that teaches not only the importance of kindness but also that people are more than their disabilities. “The Name Jar” by Yangsook Choi This profound picture book sure does pack a punch, exploring themes of self-acceptance, friendship and cultural differences. Unhei has recently moved to the United States from Korea, and she feels embarrassed when kids on the school bus tease her and don’t bother to pronounce her name correctly. Hoping

to fit in, she decides not to share her name with her class and considers choosing American names such as Suzy or Laura. But after learning the special meaning behind “Unhei,” and thanks to the kindness and encouragement of her new friends, Unhei finds the courage to choose her own name.

Middle-grade books (ages 8–12) “Green Lantern: Legacy” by Minh Lê, illustrated by Andie Tong Comic book fans, this one’s for you! “Green Lantern: Legacy,” released in 2020, depicts DC’s first Asian American Green Lantern. After 13-year-old Tai Pham inherits his late grandma’s jade ring, he quickly discovers the ring has supernatural powers and that his grandma used her powers to help neighbors in need and, well, the universe as a member of the legendary Green Lantern Corps. In hopes of continuing his grandma’s legacy, Tai attempts to protect his neighborhood from racist bullies and even a powerful Yellow Lantern (with the help of his friends), showing what it means to be a true hero. “Sam Wu Is NOT Afraid of ...” series by Katie and Kevin Tsang, illustrated by Nathan Reed This illustrated chapter book series follows the terrified but heroic Sam Wu, who is determined to prove his bravery, especially to his

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / S CH O O L S + PR ES CH O O L S

nemesis, Ralph Philip Zinkerman the Third. Sam confronts a different fear in each installment: ghosts, sharks, the dark, spiders and zombies. (I’d be scared, too!) But as Spaceman Jack, a character from Sam’s favorite show says, “If it was easy, everyone would do it. It’s the hard things in life that require the most bravery.” In each inspiring, wacky and hilarious adventure, Sam overcomes his fears with bravery, humor, and the support of his family and friends. “The House That Lou Built” by Mae Respicio Lou BulosanNelson has an epic summer project: to build her dream tiny house on the land she inherited from her late father. But after finding out her mother might move them to Washington for a new job and realizing there might not be enough money to keep her land, the resourceful and determined Lou decides to speed up her project in hopes of staying in San Francisco. Through her house-building journey, surrounded by the warmth and love of her friends and extended Filipino family, she discovers the true meaning of home.

Young adult books (ages 11 and older) “American Born Chinese” by Gene Luen Yang This awesome graphic novel weaves together the seemingly disparate stories of

three characters, leading up to a genius twist toward the end. The first action-packed story features the Monkey King, a legendary Chinese figure who fights for acceptance among the gods; the second narrative follows Jin Wang, who moves to a neighborhood where he’s the only Chinese American student in school and wants to fit in; and the third depicts Chin-Kee, a personification of negative Chinese stereotypes who visits his white cousin Danny and ruins Danny’s life. The book’s themes of identity and the pressures to assimilate are fresh and relatable, resonating with youths and adults alike. “I Am Malala: How One Girl Stood Up for Education and Changed the World” (Young Readers Edition) by Malala Yousafzai and Patricia McCormick A must-read for tweens and teens, “I Am Malala” has been reimagined for a younger audience and focuses more immediately on Malala Yousafzai’s experiences as her hometown in Pakistan is transformed under the Taliban’s control.

Yousafzai, an activist who fights for girls’ rights to be educated and the youngest person to receive a Nobel Peace Prize, details her remarkable fight, the impacts of being shot in the head while riding the bus home from school and the support of her family through it all. In this inspiring book, she shows that one’s voice and moral courage matter. “My voice was the voice of so many others who wanted to speak but couldn’t,” she writes. “We Are Not Free” by Traci Chee Keep the tissues close by for this book. This powerful work of historical fiction follows 14 close-knit Japanese American teenagers (yes, 14!) who are forced from their homes in San Francisco and into squalid incarceration camps after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. We cry and laugh with them through their joys and sorrows, we feel their rage in the face of heartbreaking injustices and racism, and we witness how the incredible strength and resilience of friendship help them endure this ugly chapter in American history.

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Angelica Lai is a writer and ParentMap’s email and social media specialist. When she’s not ParentMap’ing, she can be found writing short stories, laughing at her own jokes and making puns about food.

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Fantastic Farm Stays Around Washington Frolic with critters and learn about local food on a working Northwest farm By Kate Missine

White Lotus Farm & Inn

Nettles Farm

With cross-country and international travel still a ways off for many families, we are looking closer to home for a much-needed change of scenery. Enter a fresh crop of destinations: nearby family farms. A farm stay, also known as agritourism, involves staying on a real working farm and immersing your fam into the charms of rural life. Farm-stay digs generally involve a cottage or guesthouse of some sort, with some farms also offering suites, tents, yurts or RV camping sites. Many specifically welcome families, inviting kids — and their grown-ups! — to partake in the multitude of chores and activities that make up the bustle of farming life. Imagine cooking meals with produce plucked right out of the garden, cuddling fluffy chicks and bottle-feeding baby goats. Some farms have a specialty focus, offering experiences such as cheesemaking, horseback riding and fishing.

We’ve hand-picked seven farm-fresh stays around Washington — no crossing state lines required — where the whole family can enjoy a refreshing change of scenery and even pick up some new skills.

White Lotus Farm & Inn, Port Ludlow

3723 Beaver Valley Rd., Port Ludlow • 425-830-0253 • whitelotusinn@gmail.com Just over the Hood Canal Bridge on the Olympic Peninsula, White Lotus Farm & Inn (whitelotusfarmandinn.com) sprawls across 70 acres of flower fields, orchards and “food forest,” planted with more than 50 varieties of fruits, nuts and mushrooms. There are also honeybee hives! Owners Niall and Natalie aim to cultivate an edible ecosystem, and give tours and educate guests on the farm’s growing practices. Youngsters get a true taste of where their food comes from by sampling and gathering the homegrown produce, helping to

White Lotus Farm & Inn

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look for eggs and taking care of the farm’s animals. White Lotus critters include roaming sheep, turkeys and even a resident llama. Visitors stay in a one-bedroom suite for four located in the main farmhouse, with a private entrance leading out to the communal firepit and gardens. There’s also a grill and alfresco seating area, where families can prep their own farm-totable dinners. There’s no TV in the room (yay for unplugged time!), but if you’re craving screen time, the comfy den area does have a TV and DVD player, along with games, books and movies. Want an off-site day trip? Olympic National Park is within a few hours’ drive, and the quaint town of Port Townsend is only 20 minutes away.

Pebble Cove Farm, Orcas Island

3341 Deer Harbor Rd., Eastsound, Orcas Island • 360-622-6460 • pebblecovefarm@hotmail.com You don’t need to choose between farm fun and a beach vacay at waterfront Pebble Cove Farm (pebblecovefarm.com) on Orcas Island. Set on a private strip of beach with its own cove, which is perfect for combing for seashells, Pebble Cove also offers kayaks, rowboats and paddleboards as part of a farm stay. On top of those pursuits, save time for stargazing and roasting s’mores.

Pebble Cove Farm

fast treats and snacks. One thing you won’t find, though, is dairy. As part of the farm’s stand against animal cruelty, Pebble Cove only serves soy or coconut milk with its homemade granola. The farm doesn’t collect eggs from the free-roaming chickens for the same reason.

This farm also operates as an animal sanctuary. Cuddly miniature horses, sheep, pigs and others are all rescue critters waiting to be lavished with affection. Gorge on seasonal fruit at the organic U-pick garden and orchard, take a dip in the outdoor hot tub, or enjoy the kids’ swing set and playhouse.

28311 Mountain Loop Hwy., Granite Falls • 360-691-3395 • info@pacapride.com

Step aside, cows and goats: The fluffy stars of the show at Paca Pride Guest Ranch (pacaprideguestranch.com), just outside Granite Falls, are Huacaya alpacas. A herd of 20 of these adorable camelids roams the hills that surround the farm. Guests here learn all about the practice of sustainable alpaca ranching with a guided tour, and they get to partake in petting and treat-feeding galore. You might get to help move the herds, or if time your visit right, you could even catch the annual shearing event, which takes place midsummer. The accommodations are part of the fun. Families can glamp it up with a stay at the übercool heated guest yurt or rough it with tent camping on the grounds. Tents are available to rent if you don’t have your own! Restrooms and showers are available right outside the main building, and an additional guest room inside sleeps two, ideal for bringing the grandparents along. A covered outdoor kitchen area with a cooktop stove, sink and grills make family cookouts easy. The ranch makes the perfect base camp to explore the history-rich

Various lodging options are available, including a cottage, suites and two off-site homes in the nearby town of Eastsound. All lodgings come with amenities that include satellite TV, a lending library of games and movies, and an assortment of tasty breakPebble Cove Farm

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Paca Pride Guest Ranch, Granite Falls

Ways to ‘Bee’

a Pollinator Pal

Celebrate National Pollinator Week this month! Many pollinators, including honeybees and native bees, are in trouble and need our help. Here are five ways your family can create a pollinator-friendly garden to provide them with the food, shelter and safety they need to do their work and raise their young.

“Bee” gentle. Pollinating bugs and birds are fragile and easily hurt. Be calm and quiet when you see a butterfly, bee, beetle or hummingbird outside — look, but don’t touch!

Molbak’s Pollinator Celebration Celebrate National Pollinator Week with us at Molbak’s! Bring the family and join us for this special day celebrating our pollenbearing friends and the great work they do to help flowers and food grow. Enjoy nature crafts and activities for the kids, performances by Lisa Taylor and the Garden Critter Academy, Pollinator Container Garden demonstrations and more! Learn more about what we can do to protect the health of pollinators while helping the environment.

“Bee” choosy. Select a variety of flowering plants, trees and shrubs to plant — including lots of native species — that will bloom from spring into fall, providing reliable sources of nectar and pollen for them to feed on.

“Bee” smart. Using pesticides (even those cerWhy celebrate pollinators? These hard-working creatures including butterflies, bees, birds and other small mammals are responsible for bringing us one out of every three bites of food.

June 26 | 10am – 3pm

tified for organic gardens) to kill “bad bugs” harms pollinators, too. Keep pesticide use to a minimum, and commit to buying only organic fruits and vegetables as another important way to protect pollinators.

“Bee” a good landlord. Provide pollinators with a consistent source of water, such as a shallow basin of water, slow faucet drip or a good old-fashioned mud puddle. Learn how to make a safe nesting habitat for pollinating bees, such as mason bees, at parentmap.com/bees.

“Bee”come an expert. Our pollinator friends are

fascinating — and vital to the production of one-third of the crops we depend on. Learn more about them by visiting pollinator.org.

For more information visit molbaks.com

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Family-owned Molbak’s Garden + Home has been part of the city of Woodinville since 1956. Its mission is to connect people with one another and their surroundings through gardening, educational events and community involvement.

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FE ATUR E

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gold rush region, from railroad tunnels and old mining towns to waterfalls and hunting for Sasquatch. Be sure to pick up some warm alpaca-wool souvenirs from the farm store before you leave.

Nettles Farm, Lummi Island

4300 Matia View Dr., Lummi Island • 360-758-7616 Got some budding chefs or fishing enthusiasts on your crew? A stay at Lummi Island’s Nettles Farm (nettlesfarm.com) will suit these interests and perhaps inspire some new ones. Come ready for some serious cooking here. You’ll find gourmet kitchens stocked with a wood-burning stove and everything you need for a home-cooked country breakfast. There is also a covered outdoor eating area, a grill and a dedicated kitchen garden. Pick your own fresh greens, herbs and veggies. Your kids will swoon over the outdoor pizza oven, and even the pickiest eaters will get in on the game. Grab a prepacked pizza kit or sign up for one of the cooking workshops (better suited for the grown-ups and teens) to make your own dough, learn to cure salmon roe and more. Lodging options include the Farmhouse, with three bedrooms, a deck and a scented steam shower; and The Farmhouse Suite, which sleeps two. There

Monteillet Fromagerie

are additional overflow rooms available for larger groups.

Monteillet Fromagerie, Dayton

Don’t miss the awesome kids’ play cubby, stocked with toys and games! For even more excitement, look into the reef-netting tours run by the Salish Center for Sustainable Fishing Methods (salishcenter.org) for a firsthand look at commercial salmon fishing.

109 Ward Rd., Dayton • 509-876-1429 • monteilletcheese@gmail.com Spread out across 32 acres along the Walla Walla Valley’s Touchet River, Monteillet Fromagerie (monteilletcheese.com) is all about the cheese. This fromagerie raises goats and sheep to produce small batches of artisanal cheeses. Spring brings cuteness galore, with lambs, kid goats and newly hatched ducklings. In summer, milking and cheesemaking are in full swing. Families with older kiddos can even try their hand in a cheesemaking or canning workshop. Explore the property from The Gîte (French for “holiday home”), a sweet three-bedroom cottage that comes with a fully equipped kitchen, antique woodstove and a fridge stocked with farm-fresh dairy, eggs, meats and bread. The bathroom features an old-fashioned cast-iron tub. The valley’s picturesque setting affords some amazing hiking and cycling, and in the warmer months, the river beckons with opportunities to splash, swim and fish.

Pebble Cove Farm

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LO CAL RES O UR C ES / CAMP S

Sing with us this Fall!

Wildwood Farm Bed & Breakfast

Wildwood Farm Bed & Breakfast, Oak Harbor 2326 Happy Valley Rd., Oak Harbor, Whidbey Island • 360-679-3474

Got a horse-obsessed little one? You’ll find their idea of paradise at Wildwood Farm Bed and Breakfast (wildwoodfarmbandb.com) on Whidbey Island. On this farm near Oak Harbor, horse enthusiasts, from pony lovers to seasoned riders, will find their groove. And there is still lots of fun to be had if horses aren’t your number-one interest. Nestled in a serene private valley, 80-acre Wildwood spans rolling hills, lush pastures and wooded trails. Opportunities for spotting wildlife abound. You might see deer and bald eagles, or the loons and kingfishers that frequent the pond. At the center of the farm is the equestrian facility. More than 50 horses hang out at the stables, and guests can partake in a variety of lessons, trail rides and other activities. You don’t need to saddle up to enjoy the sweet animals’ company, either. Observe them cantering through the fields or munching hay in their stalls, or watch professional trainers perform tricks with them. The bed-and-breakfast has two family suites, each sleeping four. The cool 1914 wood-lined bunkhouse for three will appeal to kids; note that restroom and shower facilities are separate from the bunkhouse.

Oostema Farmstead, Lynden 8402 Northwood Rd., Lynden • 360-815-1494 • oostemafarmstead@gmail.com

Up north in Whatcom County near the Canadian border, you’ll find Oostema Farmstead (oostemafarmstead.com), an ideal place for slowing down with the family. Friendly Wagyu cattle roam the fields, while the barns house pigs, goats and chickens. There’s no shortage of opportunities for little hands to get involved: They can help feed the animals, collect fresh eggs or harvest seasonal veggies from the garden. In the summer, acres of raspberry fields make for some sweet picking. Your home base at Oostema Farmstead is the farmhouse apartment, which offers two bedrooms, a kitchenette and a private patio with a grill. Common areas include well-tended gardens, seating areas and a hot tub that can be reserved for private use. There’s also space to park your RV or pitch your tent for camping on the property. In the small town of Lynden, you’ll find restaurants, unique shops and the Northwest Washington Fairgrounds (nwwafair.com) — the local county fair takes place every August. Also in the area, depending on the season, there are kid-friendly U-pick berry farms, apple orchards, pumpkin patches and Christmas tree farms.

■

Kate Missine is a lifestyle writer, food lover and a girly girl raising two little boys.

Opportunities for girls in grades 1-12 Scholarships available! northwestgirlchoir.org

This Year Sucked, Summer Shouldn’t

FREE Thursday, June 3 | 1 p.m Learn how to unlock your child’s unique passions this summer with author and activist Jonathan Mooney.

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : WAT ER S P O RTS + SW I M M I N G

Just Add Water: Camps That Are All About the H2O Water camps foster teamwork, teach new skills and promote safety By Lauren Braden Our cities and neighborhoods are literally surrounded by a multitude of sparkling bodies of water — beautiful to look at, but even more fun to play in! We’ve scoured our region’s youth summer camp scene to find topnotch, COVID-safe opportunities for frolicking in the sea, surf, sand and swimming pool.

launch kids into one of the most fun school team sports. Rowing is hard exercise; it helps kids develop upper and lower body strength, stamina and the discipline to wake up well before the crack of dawn to get out on the water for practice. Camp to try: Lake Union Crew (lakeunioncrew.com) offers a comprehensive introduction to rowing. Participants are instructed in the technical aspects of crew, from stretching to sweeping to sculling. To keep kids COVID-safe, Lake Union Crew’s summer program will be focused on single shells.

Sailing

Why it’s fun: Sailing is a tactile, sensoryrich activity that hones both physical and strategic mental skills in kids. And though the sport carries a bit of an elitist rep, community sailing programs make it more accessible to everyone. Camp to try: Seattle Yacht Club Sailing School (seattleyachtclub.org) hosts sailing camps on Portage Bay that teach kids their way around a sailboat; in addition, novice sailors learn hands-on skills such as steering, tacking, jibing, tying knots and more. According to Angela Frost, coordinator of sailing programs, “Kids can gain valuable life skills such as teamwork as well as independence, responsibility and safety, problem solving, and a greater respect and understanding of nature.”

self-propelled boat for paddling around a wetland or sheltered bay to see wildlife such as herons and harbor seals up close.

More like this: Everett Rowing Association (everettrowing.com) features several introductory rowing camps at an affordable cost. Ready to join a team? Check out Pocock Rowing Center (pocockrowingcenter.org).

Camp to try: Alki Adventure Camps (alkiadvcamp.com) in West Seattle mixes SUP in the mornings with afternoon excursions, such as nature hikes. Kids ages 8–11 and 11–16 can practice paddleboarding around Puget Sound, Elliott Bay, Lake Washington and other local bodies of water.

Swimming and water adventures

More like this: The Tacoma Yacht Club (tacomajrsail.org) is also operating this summer; it offers junior sailing camps that cover basic skills and knot-tying techniques. The Vashon Park District (vashonparks.org) runs youth sailing camps out of Quartermaster Harbor. Sail Sand Point (sailsandpoint.org) offers a range of camps for youths on Lake Washington at Magnuson Park.

More like this: Kayak Academy (kayakacademy.com) in Issaquah offers kids’ classes that teach SUP, kayaking or both along the shores of Lake Sammamish. Moss Bay Kids Camp (mossbay.co) on Lake Union combines kayaking, stand-up paddleboarding and sailing; get on the waiting list or keep these camps on your radar for next year, as the 2021 season is already full.

Mount Baker Rowing and Sailing Center (mbrsc.org) hosts weeklong Youth Adventure Camps, which include swimming, paddling, small-boat sailing and water-based field trips to visit the Seattle Aquarium, explore tide pools and comb sandy beaches for treasure.

Stand-up paddleboarding and kayaking

Rowing

Why it’s fun: Stand-up paddleboarding (called SUP) is all about balance-boosting exercise. It takes just half a day for kids to learn basic standing maneuvers and paddle strokes, fostering confidence and building strength. A kayak is the ideal

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Why it’s fun: Rowing (commonly called “crew”) is the ultimate water sport for developing teamwork and camaraderie. Many Puget Sound–area schools and nonprofit rowing centers have youth crew teams, so a week of crew camp can help

Perhaps your child isn’t quite ready to settle on one water sport for an entire week. If that’s the case, try a water adventure camp that provides an assortment of boat-based water-science and swimming activities for sampling.

Campers at SAMBICA (sambica.com) swim every single day with tubes, banana boats and cool water toys. Other activities include kayaking, canoeing, SUP, wakeboarding and waterskiing. Kids have to pass a swim test to access the deep end or to be allowed to swim without a life jacket.

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Lauren Braden is a Pacific Northwest writer who focuses on recreation and local travel. She blogs at nwtripfinder.com.

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : WAT ER S P O RTS + SW I M M I N G

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FAM I LY F UN

June Play List

Jump into summer fun with both feet By Devon Hammer

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.

June is here and it’s dishing up the first sweet tastes of summer. School is wrapping up, balmier weather has arrived, and there are oodles of opportunities to make family memories. Along with the sun and more out-ofschool free time, June brings us long-awaited openings of some of our fav spots, outdoor adventures, exciting virtual events and more. So, get out your family calendar and fill your days with early-summer bliss!

1. Check out the famed

rooftop playground plus two more levels of indoor and outdoor fun at Imagine Children’s Museum in Everett. After more than a year, the museum officially reopens Wednesday, June 2. Open select days, 11 a.m.– 4 p.m.; $14, 12 months and younger free; preregister. parentmap.com/imagine

Get a jump-start on Father’s Day (June 20) and sign up for Pierce County Parks’ Daddy Daughter Adventure Day.

Dads and daughters will bond over adventurous games and activities in three Tacomaarea parks. Saturday, June 5, 10 a.m.–2 p.m.; $15 per dad-anddaughter pair, $6 for each additional daughter; preregister. parentmap.com/adventure-day

3. June is Orca Month, so let’s

show our love for our iconic marine mammal neighbors. Join a virtual Orca Month KickOff event and learn more about our southern residents and how your family can help all orcas. Sunday, June 6, 11 a.m.; free; preregister. parentmap.com/orcas

Puget Sound beaches are brimming with marine life to discover. Explore one of 11 beaches during a minus tide when a Seattle Aquarium beach naturalist will help you

Editor’s note: Please remember to wear a mask when coming within 6 feet of anyone outside of your immediate household and follow all advisories related to safe recreating outdoors (parentmap.com/stay-safe).

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Highlighted Events for June

decipher what you find. June 12–13 and 23–27, times vary; free. seattleaquarium.org

Plan a farm-tastic day at Remlinger Farms’ Family Fun Park. Delight in 25 carnival-type rides and attractions, pony rides, animals galore, yummy eats and more at this expansive family farm destination. Open weekends through June 13, Tuesday–Sunday beginning June 19; $16– $19, ages 2 and younger free; preregister. parentmap.com/remlinger

Take the family on an educational outing and relish the beauty of the Seattle Asian Art Museum, nestled in lush Volunteer Park. After a threeyear closure for renovation, the reimagined museum was open only one month before the pandemic hit. Its doors finally reopened (again) on May 28 to welcome visitors Friday–Sunday, 10 a.m.–5 p.m.; $10–$15, ages 14 and younger free. parentmap.com/saam

7. Learn about local food at Oxbow Farm & Conservation

June 19

Saturday

June 26

Saturday

June 26–27

Saturday–Sunday

Juneteenth Festival

Japan Fair

Slug Fest

Othello Park parentmap.com/juneteenth

Online parentmap.com/japan-fair

Northwest Trek Wildlife Park parentmap.com/slugs

Center in Carnation. Stock up on fresh produce at the farm stand and then explore the grounds, complete with trails, picture-perfect picnic spots and a living playground. Farm stand open Saturday–Sundays, 10 a.m.– 4 p.m.; free entry; items for purchase. parentmap.com/oxbow

Juneteenth and support Seattle’s Black community. Othello Park hosts food, music, education on the history of Juneteenth and activities for kids. Saturday, June 19, 11 a.m.–6 p.m.; free. parentmap.com/juneteenth

8. Visit a new-to-you

regional playgrounds that offer more challenging play equipment for adventurous kids. Test out the tallest slide, the fastest zip lines, the best climbing walls and more. parentmap.com/adventureplaygrounds

Washington State Park for free on June 5, 12 or 13. On these fee-free days you do not need a Discover Pass to park your vehicle. Choose from beaches, woods, rivers or urban greenspaces. parentmap.com/free-day

Splash into summer at our region’s only water park. After a long closure, Wild Waves in Federal Way reopens Friday, June 18 to bring your fam thrilling summer fun. Open daily through Sept. 6. Check the website for pricing and to make reservations. wildwaves.com

10.

Join together with friends and neighbors to celebrate

11. Catch a thrill at one of our

12. Celebrate our slimy, silly,

slow-moving Northwest cohabitants with games and crafts at Northwest Trek Wildlife Park’s Slug Fest. Saturday–Sunday, June 26–27, 9:30 a.m.–4 p.m.; free with admission; preregister. parentmap.com/slugs

13. Ever find yourself linger-

ing at a construction site with your truck-obsessed tot? If so, then you must check out Dozer Day at the Washington

State Fair Events Center. Get a hands-on, up-close view of construction machines and first-responder vehicles for a vroom-filled day to remember. Saturday–Sunday, June 26–27, 10 a.m.–3 p.m.; check website for pricing. parentmap.com/dozer-day

14. Celebrate and learn

about Japanese culture and traditions at Japan Fair, held virtually this year. Enjoy performances and demos, visit with exhibitors and more. Saturday, June 26, 1 p.m.; free. parentmap.com/japan-fair

15.

Wave your rainbow flag from home, as Seattle Pride is going virtual again this year. Log on for performances and entertainment, and to celebrate the past, present and future of the LGBTQ community. Saturday–Sunday, June 26–27, 11 a.m.–6 p.m. parentmap.com/pride

■

Devon Hammer is ParentMap’s Out + About editorial assistant and a mother of two.

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

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Wellness

8 Tips for PostPandemic Parenting How to practice kindness, compassion and patience as we return to ‘normal’ By Erin B. Bernau

With the advent of spring and with vaccines rolling out, we find ourselves at the beginning of the end of the pandemic. This is not to say that we are done with precautions and fears, but perhaps there is a lightening around the edges of our daily lives, and with it, thoughts and feelings about reentry into “normal life.” What will this reentry look like? As has been the case over the past year, there are still many unknowns. I get many questions from the parents I work with asking how kids will recover from this year. I know that this will be an ongoing conversation and one that I am following particularly carefully (for both professional and personal reasons).

Everything I know about humanity and child development points to our innate resilience. I have absolute faith that your kids will be fine, that they will come out of this different than they might have been without it, but absolutely healthy, strong and safe. Kids will learn how to socialize again, and we adults will learn how to trust the world again. It will take patience and love and work, but I believe that the future is bright. Sadly, as with so many other aspects of this pandemic, the injustices inherent in our society also mean that kids who are already at risk will be impacted more grievously by it. Kids who already lived on the socioeconomic margins or without strong,

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WELLNES S

ities. Some trepidation and anxiety are totally normal. Other kids will need more support as they navigate reentry. Talk through those fears with your kids in an honest way. Trust in their resilience. Know that some of this might mean two steps forward and one step back.

Go slow and make a plan. For some of you extroverted types, the impulse might be to get back out there as quickly as possible. Remember that our stamina for some social interaction is not where it was a year ago. Again, be kind to yourself through this. Making a plan for how you will begin to open up your world again may make this process easier. Perhaps you start by visiting a park during a less-trafficked time or go to a grocery store that you know is less busy. These small steps will build into powerful growth.

Identify discomfort versus distress.

continued from page 23

loving attachment figures will need more support and help to recover. We must acknowledge these challenges and allocate extra support and resources to kids and families who have been most seriously impacted by COVID-19. Here we have a classic case of both/and: We can both feel incredible empathy for others whose situations may be more intense than our own, and still mourn for our own personal losses of the past year. Parents have been doing a nearly impossible thing; parenting young children is challenging under the best of circumstances, and

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the past year has been really, really hard. Here are some thoughts on recovery and reentry.

Be kind and compassionate to yourself and others. One of the ways we take care of ourselves is by noticing our reactions. What has this year been like? How have you coped? Can you give yourself credit for facing the challenges and marshaling your responses to them?

Cultivate love and patience. Many kids will do just fine as they reintegrate into school and other social activ-

When we are venturing out into the world again, it will be completely normal to have some anxiety. We have trained our brains to avoid certain activities in order to stay safe under exceptional circumstances. We must learn to tolerate some discomfort as we approach the world again. For instance, kids going back to school in person for the first time may express nervousness. As a parent, you can validate that feeling nervous is completely understandable. You might also guess that they feel excited as well. Naming emotions is important, as is normalizing feelings. Your kids are joining so very many others in their cohort who feel similarly. That said, discomfort is a place we can often learn from, but distress is a completely different beast. There is no hardand-fast definition for this. You know your child best. But distress is marked by an inability to cope and the feeling of being overwhelmed. We don’t grow if we don’t work on walking that line between discomfort and distress. This is something to keep in mind as kids return to school.

When fears come up, think about them and feel them. It is normal to feel some fear as we change behaviors that have become normalized over the past year. Be gentle and have compassion with your responses. As you do so, you may also find yourself grieving the losses of the past year, both personally and collectively. The only way out of grief is through it, allowing yourself to have feelings and to move through them.

Acknowledge and respect differences of opinion between partners. It is understandable that two different parenting partners may have different risk tolerances. It is really important that we treat our partner with respect about his or her fears, anxieties and hopes as we reengage in the world. This is an important time to keep talking about your own emotional responses, so that both of you can be more present to support your kids.

What is the story? One way that we humans heal is by making sense of circumstances we have lived through. For our kids, we can help to give them some structure for this narrative. With my own kids, we went through my photos of the past year to make a photo book. When life is viewed this way, it can become more understandable. The year 2020 is part of our human story now, and it will take time to make sense of what has happened.

What do we want to keep? Most of us understand the concept of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), in which our hearts, minds and bodies struggle to cope after a traumatic event. Perhaps less well known is the idea of post-traumatic growth, wherein we can take the lessons forward from a traumatic event. None of us would wish to have had this tragedy of COVID happen, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t find positive aspects of it or grow from it. Perhaps there are routines that have developed over the past year that you might want to keep. My hope for you and your family is that you find the possibilities inherent in this moment while healing from the trauma of this past year.

■

Erin B. Bernau is a licensed clinical social worker with 18 years of experience working with children and families. She works as a parent coach and a parent educator.

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Ages + Stages

8 Ways to Protect Your Kid From Pandemic Languishing Effective strategies to help your teen counteract the pandemic blahs By Laura Kastner, Ph.D.

Languishing is a big buzzword of late, describing what a lot of us are feeling after more than a year of pandemic fallout. Languishing is a befuddling case of the blahs. It’s the limbo state that exists in the drift downward on the mental health continuum, with flourishing at one end and anxiety and clinical depression at the other. Languishing saps your energy to do the healthy stuff of life,

such as exercise and nutritious eating, and it makes the drudgery and effort of homework and chores seem Herculean. If you think it’s hard on adults, just talk to kids, as I have for the past year. Here’s what they say: “My parents keep saying, ‘Start a hobby! Learn something new!’ It’s bad enough just staying at home and doing remote schooling. Then you get

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status and what I call RATS: risk assessment, tolerance, safety. What follows are ideas I’ve gathered from families and youths I’ve worked with over the past year.

Socialize as families Your child or teen may not be willing to initiate social outings with friends, but you can invite family and friends over for dinner. The ones who have fun kids are on the priority list. You’ll have to negotiate the safety measures, but croquet and badminton are not compatible with cellphone use. Thank goodness.

Schedule game nights

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to feel guilty that you’re a lazy blob.”

whole country has been sliding down the continuum because of the pandemic.

“I know it’s bad for me to just stay in my room and do social media. But when I start thinking about all my worries or look at my parents’ sad faces, tracking Beauty Khan’s new dances on TikTok is a huge relief.”

Grant’s recommended solutions to our languishing problem — to seek flow through healthy outlets and arrange for uninterrupted blocks of time to focus — are options that kids are unlikely to select themselves.

“Everyone says it’s okay to grieve the loss of my football and basketball world, but when I look back on my junior year, all I see is my life painted in grey. The word ‘remote’ sums it up.”

Flow is attained by becoming “at one” with an engaging positive experience and losing sense of time. Teens tell me they experience this state mostly when they game or numb out with social media. Suggesting blocks of time without those pursuits could incite panicky reactions and withdrawal rage. Kids can find joy, gratification and awe in other activities, but parents often must arrange them.

As I say throughout my books, “You might be right, but are you effective?” Parents are right when they tell their kids that exercise, going outside and engaging in new hobbies will make them feel better, but do kids choose to do so? Do we? In his New York Times article about COVID-19 languishing, Adam Grant describes the research on languishing that has been around for a couple of decades. Mental health has always existed on a continuum, from wonderful to terrible, with a middle zone of risky malaise and withdrawal from challenging goals. But now, the

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Trying to improve healthy habits is not a new agenda during the pandemic, but perhaps knowing that languishing is one step away from a downward slide into depression and anxiety may motivate parents to work to turn the tide on the entire family’s psychological ebb. Every family will pursue activities that work for them, according to their vaccination

Do research on the cool new board games that got hot during the pandemic, and choose the ones your kids are willing to try. Novelty and laughter release our pleasure hormone, dopamine. And experiencing pleasure with warm companionship releases oxytocin, our “tend and befriend” hormone. Laughter and play are the opposite of worry and dread.

Go hiking Okay, okay. Walking in a park is great, too. Bribing kids is fine. You do ____________ for them, and they do some form of embracing nature with you. Exposure to natural beauty sparks awe, an underrated positive emotion and source of antilanguishing medicine.

Negotiate but mandate youth activities Children need to socialize, be with peers, acquire adult mentors, engage with character-building activities and get out of the house. Otherwise, they will almost surely languish or become depressed, if they haven’t already. Gather a list of options and insist that they pick one (or you will). Put long-distance outdoor swimming on the list as a way of making two hours of trail maintenance sound good. Use whatever leverage feels right to you — offer an irresistible reward or make screen use contingent on compliance. But whatever you do, make youth activities a priority.

Plan surprises Surprises perk up the brain and trigger joy. Get a friend to kidnap your child or teen for a fun outing. Glue a five-dollar bill on a note that tells them where they can find three more bills, which requires walking to three places in the neighborhood. Collect hilarious comedy sketches online and arrange laughing dates at bedtime.

Get or borrow a pet Pet care is a big responsibility, so if you aren’t ready for a new snake, rabbit or dog, that’s fine. But those who have them are happy to lend them out. (Want my Labs?) It is hard to be stressed out when you are walking a dog in a park. Positive distractions are a great way to move from languishing to happiness — for a while anyway.

a year ago. Now, parental anxiety can activate a mission to improve their kids’ mental health.

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The pandemic has caused many families to avoid social activities outside of the home for fear of infection. Kids are five times more likely to die in car accidents than by contracting COVID-19. That said, every family will weigh the risks of infection against the risks of social and emotional problems for children who have lost a year of significant developmental opportunities. Kids can catch up, but the less loss, the better.

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Get a job Languishing teens may not be enterprising, but parents can be when they yearn for their teens’ increased self-esteem, mastery and confidence. Many a reluctant teen started a window-washing, car-washing or babysitting business, only to swell with pride once it was successful. Middle schoolers may hate chores, but they do like status and money. Maybe you bankroll some of the equipment to jumpstart the business.

206-325-7510 CAREWORKSNW.COM The great thing about doing things to reduce languishing in your kids is how much family well-being can be improved overall. Doing pleasant, active and healthy things improves everyone’s mental health, and parents get the bonus of the mutual good feelings, which enhance family bonding.

As we emerge from the sequestered fog of our pandemic year, do everything you can to structure some of this summer’s activities for the outdoors, with other children, in social pursuits. Even two weeks of “rehab” (any camp) can reboot better well-being in kids.

Until I had kids, I didn’t play board games, have a dog, go to parks, play a lot after work, cook healthy meals (almost) every night or avoid jaywalking. Combating languishing is really another valiant big lift to promote personal and family health. Protect your children and family from another form of pandemic harm! Prime your engines! Game on!

You might have noticed parents are spearheading these agendas. I don’t expect kids to be motivated. Motivation is what is lost with languishing. Parents are tired and worn out, too. But they are also anxious about their kids’ mental health. Good anxiety can activate. We were activated to scrub groceries and procure toilet paper

Laura Kastner, Ph.D., is the author of a number of parenting books, including the acclaimed “Getting to Calm: CoolHeaded Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens” and “Getting to Calm: The Early Years.” She is a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington.

Plan an active summer

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Parent Pointers Pride Begins at Home How to create a safe space for your queer child By Jo Langford, M.A.

There is no test or scanning system that can identify LGBT people. If your kid is queer, they are queer and have been since the day you first brought them home — whether you knew it at the time or not. Parents and parenting do not make kids gay (and cannot turn them straight), but parents and parenting can make a child feel either happy or miserable. The reality is that most of us will do both throughout our parenting career, but if you think that your child might be some flavor of notstraight, here are some tips to create a safe space in your home. Understand that your child might be queer. They are made of human parts, and some humans beings are gay, some are not. Some humans are cis, some are not. It’s just science and probability. Use media. Politics, song lyrics, commercials, television and movie plots can all spark conversation around gay issues and dynamics, allowing you to voice support and concern in a casual way, as well as acknowledging that you know there are all kinds of people and families in the world. Make your house more gay-friendly. Having books by or about queer people on the shelf, adhering supportive stickers to the fridge, leaving out articles on the coffee table, or having your family participate in walks, rallies and fundraising for queer causes and rights are all ways to send a very clear, positive message. Let your kid be different. Whether your kid is gay or straight, you may have a son who enjoys playing with dolls or redeco-

rating the living room, or a daughter who spends time working on the car or playing baseball. What parent hasn’t had to sit through mind-numbing children’s television programming or an exhaustive tutorial

Ask them. It can be okay to simply ask your child if they are gay or lesbian or bisexual, or how they identify sexually. Even the most well-intentioned parent risks possibly traumatizing a kid who isn’t (or isn’t ready,

about how those remarkably complicated collectible card games work? Supporting your child’s interests — even if it makes you uncomfortable — shows your child that you respect them.

or isn’t comfortable) by asking, if that parent hasn’t done the prerequisite work of making sure their kid knows that they and their home are safe, affirming and supportive, regardless of their child’s answer. If you do ask, tell them that you heard it isn’t helpful or wise to make assumptions about such things. Make sure that you are able to say that you love them regardless of their answer (including “no matter what” is okay; “even though” is not okay ).

Behave as though there were a queer person in the room. Don’t tell or laugh at gay jokes, and never utter demeaning terms or use slights about gay people or gay culture. Do: Use open-ended language and questions, and learn what terms not to say. Along the same lines, do not put up with hate speech voiced by others — in the grocery store, in church, at a family picnic. Silence in the face of overt anti-queer rhetoric implies consent — and your kid will notice. Clean up your messes if you’ve left a trail of unhelpful comments, terms or jokes that you now realize were offensive or degrading. Remember that they are a minority, even if you are not. Most minorities are based on race and/or religion — aspects that tend to run generationally in families. But most parents of queer kids are straight. In minority families, being minority is a more natural and seamless part of the family structure and everyday dynamics; the politics and history are discussed, and traditions and rituals are passed down through generations. You may not be LGBT, but it is now your job to become an expert in this minority. Learn LGBT history, talk about the politics, create traditions.

But the most important thing to do if you think your child might be LGBT is to show them that you are the parent whom they can tell in their own time. You do that by showing that you love and accept them. Again, we can’t make them who they are, but we can impact how they feel about who they are. If, as a parent, you do some of these things, then if your child is LGBT, they won’t have to come out with fear and worry. It can just be about them being ready to share something important about themselves. And if your kid is straight, you will have taught them important lessons about openness, plurality and equality. Win, win.

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Jo Langford, M.A., is a Seattle-based dad, therapist, author and sex educator for tweens, teens and parents. His third book, “The Pride Guide,” is an encompassing guide to sexual and social development, safety and health for queer youths and their families.

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