November 2017

’cause

parenting is a trip!

TECH G IFTS

PAGE 23

Hot video games, retro robot racers and more

FAMILY ADVENTURE GUIDE

Top tips for expectant and new parents 8

PROTECTING A SUICIDAL CHILD

How this mom and son continue to thrive 17

THE FAMILY WHO VOLUNTEERS TOGETHER You can make it meaningful for the younger kids, too 33

NOVEMBER 2017

WINTER!

WHAT LABOR WAS LIKE FOR ME

NOW YOU CAN SCHEDULE AN URGENT CARE APPOINTMENT. Indigo Urgent Care Treating injuries or illness 8am to 8pm - 7 days a week.

Located near you throughout the Puget Sound.

Walk in or book online now

IndigoUrgentCare.com

inside NOVEMBER 2017

12 TECH G I FTS Your Kids Will Totally Love

PAGE 23

Parenting

Yes, You Can Take Your Kids

4 PARENTMAP.COM

20 NOVEMBER CALENDAR

37 CUT THIS OUT

Go beyond print

5 Ways to Teach Your Child Gratitude

4 PLAY LIST

38 SOMEONE YOU SHOULD KNOW

November Is a Great Month To . . .

Out + About

33 AGES 2–6: VOLUNTEERING

What to do around the Sound

23 TECH GIFT GUIDE

Meet Lisa Hallett How this military mom channeled her grief

6 DEAR READER

A Note of Gratitude

8 CRIB NOTES

From Recent Research to GaGa Gear Expectant and new parents, this is for you

Feature

Advertising Sections

10 SUICIDE LIVE

Why teens are streaming self-harm

17 VOICE

Protecting My Suicidal Son

COVER IMAGE COURTESY NINTENDO

FAMILY ADVENTURE SEATTLE + NORTHWEST

’cause parenting is a trip!

EAT • PLAY • GO with kids

• Your Winter, From A to Z

24–25 Gift Guide 27–30 NWAIS Schools 31–35 Schools + Preschools 36–37 Arts + Activities

WINTER 2017-18

GUIDE

WINTER GUIDE INSIDE

• When You Need a Little Sun

10

• B.C.’s Best-Kept Secret

• 4 Snowy Splurges and 4 Steals • Indoor Pools They’ll Love

parentmap.com/adventure

FAW17_COVER.indd 2

33

10/5/17 9:51 AM

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 3

play list

navigate great stuff daily!

Should I even have a kid?

Pregnant with her first, this young woman comes to terms with bringing a child into a

November

hurting world. “What the world needs most are good humans.” parentmap.com/first-kid

7 design ideas inspired by Montessori

When they want a puppy

A licensed dog trainer gives you the inside scoop when it comes to buying a family dog. How can kids help, what you can do before Fido arrives and more: parentmap.com/puppy

Make learning come alive for your youngest of students with these DIY ideas that are as clever as they are cute. parentmap.com/montessori

Is a Great Month To . . .

1 HUNT FOR TREASURE l

No map required for these nature hunts.

These ideas make the most of what’s cool about your very own block. parentmap. com/nature-hunts 2 PLAY OUTSIDE IN THE DARK l

Don’t let an early sunset stop playtime!

These ideas let the fun go long past sundown. parentmap.com/dark 3 EXPLORE A SENSORYl

FRIENDLY PLAYGROUND

What this trans mom wishes you knew

Brave the rainy weather and go on an adventure! Here’s a new place to play. parentmap.com/sensory-playground

been my gender transition

When the school bell rings early, try one of these homegrown adventures for an afternoon your family won’t forget. parentmap.com/early-dismissal

“‘The biggest challenge hasn’t at all.” Hear from author and mother Katelyn Burns: parentmap.com/trans

4 MAKE THE MOST OF EARLY l

DISMISSAL

5 SWIM AWAY THE WIGGLES l

Beat cabin fever by visiting an indoor pool. Lazy rivers, epic slides, warm water — this list has got it all. parentmap.com/pools

When the other kids are mean We’d all like our kids to thrive in academics, the arts, another item to add to our wish list for their success: friendship. What to do when your child is left out: parentmap.com/left-out

facebook.com/ParentMap

@ParentMap

4 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

pinterest.com/ParentMap

instagram.com/ParentMap

PHOTO COURTESY PEOPLE’S POOL TACOMA

sports and citizenship. Here’s

Who Knew Going to the Dentist Could Be So Much Fun?

Winnie the pooh Based on the book by A.A. Milne Adapted by Kristin Sergel

Nov. 24 - Dec. 23, 2017

LIVE THEATER FOR ALL AGES!

OLYFT.ORG

612 4TH AVE E. DOWNTOWN OLYMPIA

Pe d i a t r i1117_olympia_family_theater_1-16.indd c Speech & L a n g u a g e T h e ra py

1

Dr. Roger Lucas, DDS

10/11/17 12:25 PM

Communication Assessment and Intervention Birth through Adolescence • Articulation/ • Down Syndrome Motor-Speech • Language Delay • Autism Spectrum • Social Skills Disorders • Fluency/Stuttering

Pediatric Dentist

2015 Golden Teddy Awards

Dr. Trang Pham, DDS Pediatric Dentist

Mention this ad to receive a FREE electric toothbrush at your exam!

Learning here IS fun and games Appointments available in Seattle/Wallingford, Bellevue, and West Seattle

206-547-2500 • carolray@aol.com • www.pediatricspeechtherapy.org 206-547-2500 • info@pediatricspeechtherapy.org • www.pediatricspeechtherapy.org

LM17_carol_ray_speech_1-8h.indd 1

18833 28th Ave, Suite B, Lynnwood

8/31/17 0116_lynnwood_kids_dentist_1-4.indd 4:26 PM 1

12/14/15 8:42 PM

5th GRADE SKI & RIDE FREE PROGRAM Stevens Pass and Carter Subaru want to inspire more youth to get out on the slopes to promote family bonding, healthy recreational activities and an appreciation of our stunning landscape.

Any 5th Grader in Washington State is eligible for a FREE SEASON PASS, any time he or she visits Stevens Pass during the 2017-18 winter season.

StevensPass.com/5thgrade ParentMap_AD2017_Half-Page.indd 1

10/11/2017 3:09:39 PM parentmap.com • November 2017 •5

note

Life is full of firsts.

Take your first step in saving for college today.

A Note of Gratitude “ Between 2007 and 2015, deaths by suicide increased 31 percent for boys and doubled for girls.”

— The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Pause. Breathe. Take a moment and reread the quote above.

It’s unbearable to envision your precious little one so distraught that she would consider, let alone accomplish, taking her life. Still, that statistic from the CDC tell us that you likely already know someone whose world was shattered because of suicide.

Our family does. Twice in this past year we’ve lost someone to suicide: a senior at our daughter’s small high school last November, and her dearest You likely already sophomore friend’s close soccer know someone buddy.

From our distant perch, both of whose world was these young men appeared to be on top of their worlds. Those much closer shattered because to the boys also reported the same of suicide. glowing “great kid,” “true leader,” “solid student.” We all freeze with fear as we realize that these seemingly “normal” kids, just like ours, took their own lives. So this month, we’re making a conversation about suicide our feature (p. 10) because not talking about it doesn’t make it go away.

Also in this issue: how caring for others helps kids. We’re discussing gratitude (p. 37) and volunteering (p. 33) — both parts of Raising Kind, our yearlong conversation on how families can nurture empathy, mindfulness and kindness. As we enter the chaos of the holidays, we encourage you to carve out time to give back, both at home and in our community. It’ll do us all good.

Finally, we’re ending on a seasonal note with the first part of our annual Gift Guide. There are no “turkeys” in our editors’ picks of the 12 best tech toys of the year (p. 23). Personally, I’m eyeing one of those FurReal Friends.

It eats, it barks, it blinks, it has an off switch.

And with that, let me wish you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving.

We at ParentMap are grateful for you and look forward to celebrating the season together.

“

”

With GET, enjoy tax-free savings that are guaranteed to keep pace with tuition. When it’s time for school, use it anywhere in the country.

Enroll Now LEARN MORE AT:

get.wa.gov 800.955.2318

6 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

ParentMap

November 2017, Vol. 15, No. 11 PUBLISHER/EDITOR Alayne Sulkin

EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR Jody Allard ASSOCIATE EDITOR Elisabeth Kramer ASSISTANT EDITOR — OUT + ABOUT

Nancy Chaney

OUT + ABOUT ASSISTANT Jessica Plesko PROOFREADER Sunny Parsons CONTRIBUTORS

Gemma Alexander, Nancy Schatz Alton, Will Austin, Maegen Blue, Jessica Graham, Malia Jacobson

PARENTMAP.COM DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER

Lindsey Carter

PUBLISHING ASSISTANT

Nicole Persun

SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGIST

Diana Cherry

ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS MANAGER, ADVERTISING SALES AND PARTNERSHIPS

Dani Carbary, Kristyn Wagoner, Ida Wicklund AD OPERATIONS MANAGER Elisa Taylor ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES SPECIALIST

Jessica Collet

ADVERTISING BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT COORDINATOR Amanda Brown

MARKETING/EVENTS EVENT OPERATIONS Tara Buchan EVENT + MARKETING COORDINATOR

Mallory Dehbod

EVENTS ASSISTANT Zoe Bloom

ART + PRODUCTION DESIGN + PRODUCTION, PRINT MAGAZINE

Emily Johnson

PRODUCTION DESIGN

Amy Chinn

ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER Sonja Hanson OPERATIONS MANAGER Carolyn Brendel ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT + DISTRIBUTION

Angela Goodwin

PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD Benjamin Danielson, M.D.

ODESSA BROWN CHILDREN’S CLINIC

Joan Duffell COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON

Laura Kastner, Ph.D.

PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON

Bea Kelleigh

VICE PRESIDENT AT DOVETAILING, LLC

Yaffa Maritz, M.A.

LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTS

Ron Rabin THE KIRLIN FOUNDATION Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MINDSIGHT INSTITUTE ADVERTISING INFORMATION

206-709-9026 or advertising@parentmap.com Fax 206-709-9031 CALENDAR SUBMISSIONS

calendar@parentmap.com EDITORIAL SUBMISSIONS

editor@parentmap.com DISTRIBUTION distribution@parentmap.com SUBSCRIPTIONS subscriptions@parentmap.com

ParentMap is published monthly PMB #190, 7683 SE 27th St. Mercer Island, WA 98040 ADMINISTRATION 206-709-9026, parentmap.com SUBSCRIPTION RATES 1 year: $24; 2 years: $40

All rights reserved; reproduction in whole or part without permission prohibited ©ParentMap 2017 • Printed in Oregon

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 7

all about baby Find Your Village Being a new parent can be really ALLI ARNOLD

Notes

isolating, but baby, we’ve got your back.

Sign up for our weekly eNews for the best in outings advice ’cause parenting is a trip!

h

parentmap.com/enews

From Recent Research to Gaga Gear

Here’s What Labor Was Like for Me

A

round 7:30 a.m., I woke up with cramp-like symptoms.

Contractions started at 8:07 a.m., coming every two minutes and getting stronger with each one. By 8:27 a.m.,

we were in the car heading to the hospital 17 miles away.

At one point, I realized I was pushing. I reached down and felt that I was progressing a lot quicker than I had

“

PHOTO COURTESY NOELLE VALBUENA-PAET

I was not going to make it [to the hospital]

”

B

aby no. 1 was born after

For the third, I sobbed through pulses

ever expected; I was not going to make it [to the hospital] … With two strong pushes, Landon was born, weighing 5 pounds, 15 ounces and [measuring] 18.5 inches long.

With all the excitement and shock, we continued on to the hospital without stopping. It was there we determined our timeline and that he was born at 8:37 a.m.

Big brother Lucas remained calm the entire car ride, asking me if I was okay and if I had an “owie.” He was so excited to become a big brother.

— Noelle Valbuena-Paet

and, most importantly, painting

22 hours of sweating with

of agony to pass my silent fetus. I didn’t

therapy to overcome my fears. During

five other laboring women,

feel ready, but four months later a

a day of gentle contractions, I danced,

rainbow found her way into my womb.

nested and baked a birthday cake.

miserable drug-induced contractions and ultimately a C-section.

No. 4 would be different! I prepared

As the sun set, I slid into a warm tub,

with a trusted midwife, a team of

and in 20 minutes, wondrous Samaira

supporting a normal birth and

friends, Hypnobirth, daily partner

reached earth, en caul at home,

scheduled another C-section, but during

massage, Spinning Baby exercises,

caught by my own hands.

my 50-hour labor I switched doctors!

acupuncture, raspberry leaves, nettles

Years later, my doctor lied about

8 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

— Grace Lee

Get Out of the House Get an early dose of holiday cheer at the Reindeer Festival at Swansons Nursery (swansonsnursery.com).

Introduce your baby to Rudolph, pick up some festive swag and snap a few (dozen) photos.

Gear We’re Gaga About Gadgets and gizmos perfect for that new addition

A COLORING BOOK FOR WHEN YOUR BABY’S IN THE NICU How do you explain the NICU to your baby’s older siblings? These creative

Top quality recreational services and fitness since 1958 • Before & After School Care • Preschool • Swim Lessons • • Birthday Pool Parties • Fitness Center •

Stop by the club for a tour, visit our website or call!

samena.com • 425-746-1160

coloring books may help. Also available in Spanish. platypusmedia.com/

15231 Lake Hills Blvd. Bellevue 98007

chsbb-series

AN APP THAT SCREENS FOR JAUNDICE

FD16_samena_1-4.indd 1

6/7/16 6:24 PM

Have you heard of BiliCam? It’s a smartphone app developed by the University of Washington back in 2014 that screens for newborn jaundice by simply taking a photo of a baby’s skin. A new study in “Pediatrics” gives us even more reason to love that idea: BiliCam provided accurate estimates for 530 infants.

A GIFT THAT WILL TOTALLY KILL AT THE BABY SHOWER Win that baby shower with the funny new book, “101 Survival Tactics For

Open 8am - 8pm, 365 days a year!

immediateclinic.com

New And Used Parents.” At a slim 96 pages filled with lighthearted cartoons, this is parenting advice that won’t make you gag.

Get In. Get Out.

Get Well!

URGENT CARE parentmap.com • November 2017 • 9

feature

10 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

SUICIDE LIVE

Why teens are streaming self-harm

BY MALIA JACOBSON

F

ifteen-year-old Isaiah Gonzalez was a soon-to-be sophomore preparing to start his Texas school’s ROTC program. Then, in July, his father found him dead in his bedroom closet. Nearby, a propped-up phone broadcast Gonzalez’s suicide online.

His parents say their son took part in the Blue Whale Challenge, a macabre social

media group promoting a string of challenges that culminate in suicide. Because the challenge is primarily aimed at teens, school districts across the nation have issued warnings about it. The Russian man who says he started the challenge in 2013 pleaded guilty to

“These livestreamed tragedies are

inciting numerous teen deaths after his arrest last November.

The Blue Whale Challenge is only one example of a recent rash of young people live streaming suicide.

Last December, 12-year-old Katelyn Davis of Georgia livestreamed

the public face of a troubling

her suicide on Live.me; the following month, 14-year-old Naika

trend.”

Venant of Florida broadcast her own death. In April, 20-year-old Jamal Chandler of Brooklyn streamed the final minutes of his life before dying by suicide.

In May, police intervened and saved the life of a Georgia teen attempting to broadcast her suicide via Facebook Live. That same month, Facebook cofounder Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook would hire 3,000 new employees to screen violent videos — a move some hope will spur more life-saving interventions. Of course, help didn’t come quickly enough for families like Isaiah Gonzalez’s. >>

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 11

ADOLESCENCE ISN’T EASY.

BESANT�HILL�SCHOOL O F � H A P P Y � VA L L E Y

HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK TO CAN HELP.

LEARN�HOW�TO�THINK NOT�WHAT�TO�THINK� Besant Hill School is an independent boarding and day high school on 500 acres in Ojai, California offering a rigorous college-prep curriculum including:

IS IT ADD? OR SOMETHING ELSE?

Expansive Arts Program

Environmental Studies Program

Global Community

English as a Second Language (ESL) Program

4:1 Student Teacher Ratio

Discussion Based Classes

Summer Programs

Instructional Support Program

open�house�·�january����·����� BESANTHILL�ORG ,cause parenting is a trip!

COUNSELING. SUPPORT. BEHAVIOR

2018

PRESCHOOL

MANAGEMENT. Get the expert help

Previews

your teen needs to thrive. Our clinical psychologist, psychiatrist and team of licensed counselors specialize in helping

FREE EVENTS!

young people deal with peer pressure, substance abuse, eating disorders, family relationship issues and more—all in a calm, safe, welcoming atmosphere.

Call today.

OPEN TO EVERYONE.

Find the best preschool program for your child!

SEATTLE

JAN 6

proclub.com 425.462.2776

EASTSIDE

JAN 13

NORTH

JAN 20

SOUTH SOUND

JAN 27

9:30 am – 12:30 pm

9:30 am – 12:30 pm

10 am – 1 pm

11 am – 1:30 pm

Pacific Science Center, Seattle

South Bellevue Community Center, Bellevue

Shoreline Community College, Seattle

STAR Center, Tacoma

MUST REGISTER TO ATTEND

RSVP NOW parentmap.com/preschoolpreviews 12 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

feature

SUICIDE LIVE continued from page 11

What’s happening?

likely culprit for the spike in teen suicides is teens’ increased access to technology. Internet use is linked to suicide rates in the U.S. and worldwide; as rates of internet use increase, so do deaths by suicide. While research shows that news reports of suicide deaths are linked to increased suicide rates, it’s internet use in general that’s linked to more suicides.

That’s troubling news considering that smartphone ownership is up 29 percent since 2011 and that 73 percent of teens own a smartphone, per the Pew Research Center.

These livestreamed tragedies are the public face of a troubling trend, says Dr. Cora Breuner, an adolescent medicine specialist at Seattle Children’s Hospital. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the second-leading cause of death for teens and young adults ages 15–34. Rates for teens 15–19 are rising fast: Between 2007 and 2015, deaths by suicide increased 31 percent for boys and doubled for girls.

The CDC reports that more than 22 percent of girls and 11 percent of boys seriously considered suicide, and 13 percent had a plan to die. That But why? gender gap in suicide deaths is less about intent The internet gives teens an onramp to pro-suicide and more about the method, says Dr. Christopher websites and chatrooms that give step-by-step Famy, a Seattle psychiatrist who studies suicides. instructions for self-harm, says Jennifer Barron, He says males tend to use guns — lethal 85–90 director of training at Forefront, University of percent of the time when used for suicide — while Washington’s suicide prevention program. females tend toward pills — lethal 20 percent of Even when social media doesn’t point toward the time. suicide — and, of course, not all social media does What’s driving this steep increase? It’s easy to — it can make it easier for vulnerable teens to feel point to media flashpoints like the buzzy series “13 constantly victimized, says Barron.

Reasons Why,” a Netflix drama about the reasons a “It used to be that kids getting bullied at teenager decided to end her life. But the show and school could go home and escape,” she says. its surrounding hype aren’t to blame, says Breuner; “Kids who weren’t popular in class could still the CDC data is from 2015, two years before the pal around with kids in their neighborhood show debuted. and be a different person. Now, Rather, “13 Reasons Why” and there’s no escape.” “splashy films like 2016’s “Suicide “Between 2007 Even for kids who seem wellSquad” and 2011’s “Suicide and 2015, deaths liked, there's pressure from social Room” are more a reflection of media that previous generations a trend than that trend’s driving by suicide didn’t have to deal with, says force, she says. Still, Breuner Rosalind Wiseman, author of worries that a glamorized view of increased 31 “Owning Up: Empowering mortality can mislead vulnerable, percent for boys Adolescents to Confront Social depressed youth into magical Cruelty, Bullying, and Injustice” thinking about death — namely, and doubled for and founder of Cultures of Dignity, that death isn’t truly final. In “13 a social justice education and Reasons Why,” for example, the girls.” training organization. plot depicts the main character “We’ve been telling kids for postmortem, yet vibrantly alive. years that if you make a mistake on social media, “In reality, you don’t get to see your friends you will never get into college, never get a job, or anything that happens after you die,” Breuner says. “Once you’re dead, you’re gone, and the show [that] your life is over,” Wiseman says. “Especially doesn’t make that point.” with kids who have worked hard for things and Television and movies aside, experts say a more make a ‘mistake,’ I really worry that they truly >>

4 Myths About Suicide MYTH: Asking about suicide puts the idea into kids’ heads.

“Simply saying the word ‘suicide’ doesn’t increase a child’s suicide risk. Suicide is on television shows, in pop music and in movies, so kids have heard about it, whether you talk to them about it or not.

Like any other big topic, would you rather they discuss it with their friends, or with you?”

— Dr. Cora Breuner, Seattle Children’s Hospital MYTH: Mention suicide to a health care provider, and they’ll lock you up.

“Not true at all. The vast majority — well over 90 percent — of teens who go to the emergency room for suicidal thoughts aren’t admitted to the hospital.” — CB MYTH: Suicide help lines aren’t anonymous; they’ll use your phone number to track your location and tell your parents, teacher or doctor.

“The National Suicide Prevention Line is completely anonymous.

So is the Crisis Text Line and its Facebook Messenger inbox. Youth can call in with or without their parents, and it won’t be reported to their parents, teachers, doctor or anyone else.”

— Jennifer Barron, Forefront at the University of Washington MYTH: If someone wants to kill themselves, there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

“Suicide is rarely about wanting to die. It’s about wanting to escape unbearable pain. Talking about it can make the difference.” — JB

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 13

feature

SUICIDE LIVE continued from page 13

believe they have nothing left to live for.”

She points to the suicide of Marcus Wheeler.

Arizona State University’s second-ranked crosscountry runner, Wheeler died by suicide in 2015 after losing his full-ride scholarship for smoking pot. In 2016, fellow athlete Mitchell Warnock died on the same campus after losing his pole-vaulting scholarship for drinking. While neither Wheeler nor Warnock specified that these incidents led to their suicides, Wiseman says they’re clear examples of the kind of pressure kids are under.

Social media fuels the pressure to be perfect, for both boys and girls, Wiseman adds. In social media’s hyperconnected world, each teen lives in a fishbowl, isolated yet constantly on display. Life’s ups and downs seem magnified, and teens can lose perspective.

Plus, social media allows all of this shift in perspective to play out in an environment where teens can be publicly or privately urged toward acts of self-harm, often out of a parent’s view.

That means kids can spiral deep into suicidal thoughts, actions and even pacts without parents having a clue, says Barron. Even when parents know their teen is having self-destructive thoughts, they may not know enough until the teen acts on those thoughts Olympia mom Lena* wasn’t a stranger to suicide. Her niece died by suicide five years ago and her 16-year-old son was prone to bouts of depression. He’d mentioned suicide when he was angry, but Lena didn’t think he’d map out a plan to die.

Then, in April, she found a noose in her garage just days after her son’s best friend died by suicide.

There may have been a pact, Lena says, but she doesn’t know for sure. “My son was angry and depressed, and I was worried, and then his friend died,” she says. “All of their friends have struggled for months. They are depressed; they’re using drugs and alcohol. They have no ambition and they talk about wanting to die before 30.”

She’s scared for her son, but feels powerless to help. “We’ve been dealing with the effects [of the suicide] ever since it happened.” She takes her son’s mentions of suicide at face value now.

14 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

What you can do

direct questions will actually prompt a teen to consider suicide, but it’s a myth I hear it all the time,” As cruel as people can be on the internet, the Breuner says. Research shows that the most effective medium also has the power to connect and heal. questions are simple: Are you depressed? Are you According to research published in the “American having as much fun now as you used to? “These Journal of Public Health,” social media can aid are the diagnostic questions practitioners use, and suicide prevention efforts by connecting teens to they’re what’s proven to work well,” Breuner says. help, be it to counselors, resources Use your teen’s answers to guide or other forms of support. The your next steps, she says. If your “Suicide is Crisis Text Line offers free crisis teen tells you they’re depressed counseling via Facebook Messenger or if they show signs of social rarely about and apps like My3 connect suicidal withdrawal, sudden academic youth to support. wanting to trouble, extreme mood swings The best prevention, though, or self-destructive acts, call the die.” is analog: Talk to your teen, says National Suicide Prevention Breuner. The stigma around suicide Line (1-800-273-8255) or your dissipates if you talk about it like pediatrician right away. The bottom line: When any other health issue. Here, too, media can help. your teen mentions suicide, take it seriously.

“If your teen is watching ‘13 Reasons,’ watch Though direct communication is best, experts it with them,” she says. “Don’t binge-watch. A like Barron also recommend staying in touch with megadose of a death-themed programming is too your child’s life on social media. Have regular intense to digest in one sitting. Instead, use every conversations about digital citizenship, check episode to start a dialogue. Ask how [the main social posts regularly and restrict smartphone use character] could have reached out for help [and] at night. Some caregivers might consider apps that how the other characters could have handled help track kids’ social media use, such as Limitly, things differently.”

PocketGuardian and Bark, particularly for younger Teens may not suffer a long discussion about teens who are just learning to navigate social suicide, so get to the point. Ask direct questions media. For the most part, these tracking apps don’t about your teen’s inner world. “It’s a myth that give caregivers access to what’s been posted, but

Resources you can use Connect with crisis counselors for free and completely anonymously at the resources below. For all immediate threats of selfharm, call 911 or take your child to the ER. • Crisis Text Line: Text 741-741 or use Facebook Messenger (facebook.com/ crisistextline) • National Suicide Prevention Line: 1-800-273-8255 • Lifeline Crisis Chat: crisischat.org • Suicide intervention for LGBTQ teens: thetrevorproject.org • Suicide intervention for trans youth: translifeline.org

*Name has been changed.

To learn about the latest research into suicide, visit: • Forefront at the University of Washington: intheforefront.org • American Association of Suicidology: suicidology.org/ncpys/resources • Suicide, Guns and Public Health, Harvard School of Public Health: hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter • Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide: sptsusa.org (Visit store.samhsa. gov for a suicide prevention toolkit for high schools).

Spot the signs If your teen shows these signs of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Line (1-800-273-8255) or your pediatrician.

FD15_careworks_1-16.indd 1

• Talking about suicide • Talking about feelings of hopelessness • Loss of interest in hobbies • Giving away personal belongings • Risky, self-destructive or out-of-character behavior • Preoccupation with death

6/1/15 10:14 PM

Connecting parents to build a loving community of families of color

most things are better finished– like college.

And rainy day soccer games.

CityU Students finish at twice the National Rate

JOIN our FOCS Parent Groups, monthly events and resource sharing Register and Info at focseattle.com

DOWNHILL & X-C SKIING • SNOWBOARDING • ICE SKATING • HIKING

Malia Jacobson is a Tacoma-based freelance writer specializing in health topics.

206.325. BASE 2ndbaseseattle.com

ALL SPORTS INVENTORY

BIKING • SLEDDING • SNOW SHOEING • CLIMBING • WARM CLOTHES

instead provide alerts when kids are using or exchanging violent or sexual content. This way, you can intervene ALL SPORTS INVENTORY before your teen gets swept away by 0717_foc_1-16.indd 1Ski Gear Galore 6/15/17 Trade-ins Welcome destructive social riptides, says Barron.

Finally, parents should lock up any guns they may own, says Breuner.

“We know that rates of gun ownership are linked to suicide deaths, and that kids are highly impulsive,” she says. “A loaded gun might end a life before a teen can even think about what he’s doing so consider storing your unloaded guns in a biometric safe, keeping the keys or combination secret and storing ammunition separate from any weapons.”

Suicide is rarely about wanting to die, Barron reminds us. It's a QUALITY USED sentiment echoed by the parents of SPORTING Isaiah Gonzalez’s parents. They say GOODS Great Winter Gear for Kids, their son never wanted to die; rather, Moms, Dads, and Grandparents his death was the result of social Buy • Sell • Trade media gone terribly wrong. And 1001 NE Boat Street, Seattle livestreaming that death? It may have Next to Recycled Cycles been the final cry for help. n

4:56 PM

Learn More CityU.edu • 888.422.4898 City University of Seattle is a not-for-profit and an Equal Opportunity institution accredited by the Northwest Commission on Colleges and Universities.

SP5834

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 15

Repeat after us.

You deserve date night.

Schedule your sitter today.

Seattle + Eastside | 206.659.4156 Renton + Tacoma | 253.251.2477 collegesitters.com

16 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

voice

Protecting My Suicidal Son

A mother and son figure out what they both need to thrive

By Jody Allard

M

y son is suicidal. I say that now like I say that he is 17 years old, or that he’s tall and handsome, with broad shoulders and an easy laugh.

No matter how much I’ve wished it would vanish, his struggle with suicide has become a part of him, like his sense of humor or his love of history.

When he wants to die, my son never comes to me. Instead, he texts his friends or his girlfriend. The first time one of his friends texted me and said my son wanted to die, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea. My son is outgoing and social. Everyone who meets him loves him. He was only 14 years old, and I couldn’t conceive of a life cut so short. I took him to counseling and told myself he was better now.

The next time that same friend told me my son wanted to die and that this time, he was making plans to kill himself, I took him to the hospital, still convinced it must be a mistake. But when we got there, he sat down in a room devoid of anything you could use to harm yourself — even a garbage can — and calmly told the nurse about his suicidal thoughts.

My son was admitted into the psychiatric ward that night. I sat in the parking lot screaming into my steering wheel, and I drove home blinded by tears. I blamed myself for not knowing something was wrong, and I blamed myself for not being the person he confided in. I blamed myself for everything because if it was my fault. I could fix it. I could be a better mother. I could keep him alive.

I know better now. I take him to counseling and refill his prescription for antidepressants, but I’ve forced myself to let go of my need to keep him alive.

It sounds strange to say that as a mother — perhaps even neglectful. But I’ve had to figure out how to parent a suicidal teenager on my own.

No one tells you what to do when your teenager

“

No one tells you what to do when your teenager wants to die.

”

wants to die. The psychiatric hospital staff tells you to lock up your ibuprofen — even though your son says he wants to jump off a tall building and could buy ibuprofen at the corner store. Then they send you home. When you get there, you realize there’s a world of ways to die and none of them are preventable. There’s no one there to console you or help you manage your own fear. It’s easy to let it take over.

And I did — for months. Every time I called down the stairs and he didn’t reply, I imagined I’d find him dead. When he began skipping school, I was too scared to ground him. I let him get away with more than I should at home, too. All I could think about was keeping my son alive for another day.

My son’s suicidal thoughts didn’t go away after his first hospitalization. The next time, I found myself pulling into a parking lot to read the frantic texts from his friend. I drove home as fast as I could, and told him to get in the car. I didn’t tell him I was taking him to the psychiatric ward because I knew he wouldn’t want to go.

When I finally admitted where we were going, he threatened to jump out of the car. But my heart was beating in time to my fear, and there was no room for negotiation. My decision left scars I never imagined.

For months afterward, my son panicked when I asked him to get into the car. He was angry I didn’t directly ask him if he was in crisis before I made >> parentmap.com • November 2017 • 17

2018

CAMP FAIRS

Challenging K-12 students

, cause parenting is a trip!

Challenging K-12 students

in an intellectual community through early entrance, and

in an intellectual community

outreach learning programs.

through early entrance, and

ington Seattle campus: • Saturday Enrichment onal Development

on,

FREE EVENTS!

Online Courses

outreach learning programs.

There’s one in your area.

We offer on the UniversityChallenging of Washington Seattle campus: K-12 students in an intellectual community • Transition School • UW Academy •andSaturday Enrichment through early entrance, outreach learning programs.

• Summer Programs • Professional Development

:

uw.edu

60

du

We offer on the University of Washington Seattle campus:

We offer on the University of Washington Seattle campus: • Transition School • UW Academy • Saturday Enrichment Programs • Professional Development Transition School • UW Academy••Summer Saturday Enrichment For more information, Summer Programs • Professional Development For more information,

Featuring visit our website:

camps for tots through teens!

Challenging K-12 students in an intellectual community St. Thomas www.RobinsonCenter.uw.edu www.RobinsonCenter.uw.edu SEATTLE School CampFair Phone: 206-543-4160 through early entrance, and outreach learning programs.

(Eastside) Phone: 206-543-4160 visit our website:

Email: rcys@uw.edu

Visit our website for application information!

FEB 3 Email: rcys@uw.edu 10 am – 2 pm

www.RobinsonCenter.uw.edu Phone: 206-543-4160 Email: rcys@uw.edu

1117_robinson_center_1-4.indd 1

NORTH

SOUTH SOUND

FEB 24

MAR 3

MAR 24

10 am – 1 pm

10 am – 1 pm

10 am – 1 pm

Magnuson Park Hangar 30, Seattle

Shoreline Community College, Seattle

STAR Center, Tacoma

RSVP NOW! parentmap.com/campfair 10/11/17 1117_CF_1-4.indd 12:16 PM 1

10/16/17 8:17 PM

• Child-centered learning in a warm Jewish environment - all are welcome.

• Classes for families and children from birth through Pre-K. • Flexible schedules to meet your family’s needs.

For more information, visit www.jrmpreschool.org or contact Shannon Solomon, Early Childhood Education Director, at 425.559.2571 or ssolomon@tdhs-nw.org.

18 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

NEW FULL-TIME OPTIONS

INFANT & TODDLER CARE COMING JANUARY

voice Protecting My Suicidal Son continued from page 17 the decision to take him to the hospital, and he was convinced I’d take him to the hospital again if he opened up to me about his feelings. “Why should I talk to you now?” he demanded, and I had no answer. I wanted the best for him, but instead I placed a wedge between us that’s yet to be removed. It’s a small wedge, wrapped in good intentions and a mother’s love, but it’s a wedge nonetheless.

When he told me how angry he was at me for taking him to the hospital, I wanted to scream at him that it was the best I could do. I wanted to tell him that his death would destroy me. I wanted to beg him to stay alive for me, even if saying that is toxic and manipulative because his life means more to me than right or wrong.

But that’s not what my son needs. So I try harder to create a safe space for him to be

vulnerable. I vow to respect his boundaries by giving him a say in his own treatment, and work harder to regain his trust. I even promise him that I’ll never take him to the hospital without telling him again. He met me halfway and said that if we talk first and I’m still convinced he needs to go to the hospital, he will get in the car — even if he doesn’t want to go, even if he doesn’t believe he needs help.

It took six months to learn he was again planning to die by suicide; this time the school nurse told me. I had begun to relax, but I felt the familiar fear rise as she offered me resources to hep. “This isn’t my first rodeo,” I said, before thanking her and hanging up. I thought desperately of the hospital and its promise of safety, but I knew I had to do better by my son.

I had to stop inflicting trauma in the name of

saving his life. I waited for him to get home from school, and I met him at the door. “We need to talk,” I said. He told me he wasn’t in crisis, but his medication wasn’t working. We made a safety plan together, and for the first time he was open with me about the depths of his depression.

My son didn’t die that day, or any other day since, and he’s begun to trust me again. We went to the doctor together, and he agreed to try a new antidepressant. This one works, he tells me, and I hope the threat of suicide is behind him. But if there is a next time, I will keep my promises. My son needs to live, but he also needs a mother he can trust — even if that means putting his needs ahead of my need to protect him, even if it means letting go of the promise of safety, even if it means holding my breath until the next crisis passes. n Jody Allard is ParentMap’s managing editor.

Join the KCTS 9 KIDS CLUB! As a KCTS 9 KIDS CLUB member, you’ll connect your family to a world of learning and discovery.

• Be the first to hear about KCTS9 KIDS events and special VIP experiences.

• Visit KCTS9 and choose a toy from our Treasure Chest!

• Receive the KCTS9 KIDS e-newsletter every month, with PBS KIDS features and news, craft projects, parenting tips, discounts and more.

Your family will also receive the full benefits of regular KCTS9 membership.

For details about how to join, visit KCTS9.org/kidsclub today!

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 19

SUNDAY

PICKS

MONDAY National and state parks FREE, Nov. 11

TUESDAY RACHEL CRICK PHOTOGRAPHY

november

Amazing Animals at the Burke, Nov. 12

Día de los Muertos Community Festival, Nov. 5

Santa Train at Northwest Railway Museum, Nov. 25–Dec. 17

6

7

Toddler Time at the Aquarium. Engage with your tot in fun, marine-themed activities. Nov. 5–7, 12–14; 9:30 a.m.–noon.

Included with admission. Ages 5 and under with adult. Seattle Aquarium. seattleaquarium.org Día de los Muertos Community Festival.

Create art in the TAM studio, view community altars and a tapete sand painting, get your face painted and more. 10 a.m.–4 p.m.

FREE. Tacoma Art Museum. tacomaartmuseum.org

Let’s Play: Little Red Hen. OFT invites little ones to enjoy an excitement-filled show, just the right length for young attention spans. Nov. 6, 9–11; 10 a.m. $5. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Olympia Family Theater. olyft.org Pajamarama! Evening Story Time. Get cozy in your jammies and bring your favorite stuffy to wind down with bedtime stories and songs. Mondays, 6:45–7:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 3–6 with adult. Shoreline Library. kcls.org ONGOING EVENT

Reading with Rover. Kids gain confidence reading aloud to trained therapy dogs. First and third Tuesdays, 6:30–7:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 5–10. Half Price Books, Redmond. readingwithrover.org ONGOING EVENT Reading Buddies. Little kids love to read to big kids. Teen volunteers read with littles.

Tuesdays through Nov. 14, 4:30–5:30 p.m.

FREE. Ages 4–8. Pierce County Library Gig Harbor and University Place branches. piercecountylibrary.org

12

13

14

Amazing Animals. Touch (or taste!) insects, pet ponies and more at this mash-up of Burke events Bug Blast and Meet the Mammals. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. $7.50–$10; ages 4 and under free; buy timed entry tickets online.

Burke Museum, Seattle. burkemuseum.org The Fluffy Tale of Adventure. What or who is The Squolf? Find out in this cute play about friendship. Saturday–Sunday through Nov. 12. $12. Ages 5–12 with families (Sunday shows are all ages). Second Story Repertory, Redmond. secondstoryrepertory.org

Lil’ Diggers Playtime. Kids dig digging in the giant indoor sandbox. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, 9:30–11 a.m. or 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. $8. Ages 5 and under with caregiver. Sandbox Sports, Seattle. sandboxsports.net ONGOING EVENT Animal Viewing at Kelsey Creek Farm.

Stop by Bellevue’s city-owned farm park to see pigs, ponies, sheep, chickens, rabbits and goats, then play at the playground or wander the trails. Daily 9:30 a.m.–3:30 p.m. FREE. Bellevue. farmerjayne.com ONGOING EVENT

Indoor Playground. Tots play with push buggies, climbers, trikes and more. Tuesday, Thursday, 10 a.m.–1 p.m. $3. Ages 9 months–5 years with caregiver. North Kirkland Community Center. kirklandwa.gov ONGOING EVENT Play to Learn. Kids and caregivers gather for community play and circle time. Tuesdays, 10–11:30 a.m.; additional weekly times and locations. FREE. Ages 6 and under with caregiver. Charles Wright Academy and Puyallup Public Library. playtacoma.org ONGOING EVENT

19

20

21

Veterans Day Parade, Auburn, Nov. 11

Piper’s Creek Salmon Celebration.

Welcome chum and coho salmon back to the creek and mark the occasion with kids’ activities, music and more. 11 a.m.–2 p.m.

FREE. Carkeek Park, Seattle. govlink.org/ watersheds Fantasy Lights Walk. Take in the amazing light displays by foot, the only chance to walk, not drive, through the park. 5–8 p.m. $4 per person. Early bird discount available online. Spanaway Park, Tacoma. co.pierce.wa.us

Hoppy Hour. Bounce time for energetic kids to get the rainy day (or any day) wiggles out. Monday–Friday, 10 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $6–$9. Ages 1–8. Elevated Sportz Trampoline Park, Bothell. elevatedsportz.com ONGOING EVENT Kitty Literature. Kids practice reading skills with a supportive audience of shelter cats; sign up for a 20-minute session. Monday–Friday, times vary. FREE; preregister.

Ages 5–10. Seattle Humane, Bellevue. seattlehumane.org ONGOING EVENT

26

27

28

Kitty Literature at Seattle Humane, Monday–Friday, select times

Santa Train. Ride a vintage train to visit Santa and have a treat. Select dates Nov. 25–Dec. 17; special departure for families with special needs on Nov. 26. $24; under age 2 free. Northwest Railway Museum North Bend Depot. trainmuseum.org ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Start off the season right with this delightful holiday show filled with good cheer and Christmas carols. Friday–Sunday, Nov. 24– Dec. 3. $10–$15. All ages. Bellevue Youth Theatre. parks.bellevuewa.gov

Providence O’Christmas Trees Christmas Carnival. View the gorgeous trees and rock out to Caspar Babypants and other performers. 3–7 p.m. FREE. The Westin Seattle. washington.providence.org Zoolights. Revel in the dazzling light creations — hammerhead sharks, a polar bear family and more. Nov. 24–Jan. 1, 5–9 p.m. (closed Dec. 24). $8.50–$10; ages 2 and under free. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, Tacoma. pdza.org/zoolights

OmTots Play Gym. Bounce around, swing from the ceiling and play like monkey.

Monday–Friday, 9:30 a.m.–noon. $14; discounts available. Ages 1–5 with caregiver.

OmCulture, Seattle. omculture.com ONGOING EVENT Garden d’Lights. Plant and critter shapes created from over half a million lights sparkle and amaze. Daily, Nov. 25–Dec. 31, 4:30–9 p.m. $5; ages 10 and under free; check online for select free admission nights.

Bellevue Botanical Garden. gardendlights.org

CATHERINE ANSTETT

5

CITY OF AUBURN

Piper’s Creek Salmon Celebration, Nov. 19

20 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

Toddler Gym. Toddler play times and tot gym times are now FREE at Seattle’s neighborhood community centers. Monday– Saturday, various times. Ages 5 and under with caregiver. Seattle. seattle.gov/parks ONGOING EVENT Tool Time Tuesday. Get busy with tools, hammering a nail or sawing a board. Tuesdays, 3–4 p.m. Included with admission.

KidsQuest Children’s Museum, Bellevue. kidsquestmuseum.org ONGOING EVENT

WEDNESDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

2

3

4

Seattle MathFest. Celebrate math and its awesomeness with carnival-like games and prizes for kids and families. 5–7:30 p.m. FREE; preregister. Ages 3–11 with families. Rainier Community Center, Seattle. zenomath.org What the Griot Said. All are welcome to hear the enchanting tales the Griot (storyteller) tells. Noon. FREE. Northwest African American Museum, Seattle. naamnw.org

FREE Friday Night at HOCM. This Friday is filled with fall fun, crafts and autumn-inspired activities at Hands On Children’s Museum. 5–9 p.m. Ages 10 and under with families. Olympia. hocm.org Family Bingo Night. Bring your family and your own marker or dauber and get in on some bingo fun with great prizes. 6:30–9:30 p.m. $5 includes 6 bingo sheets; ages 3 and under free; preregister. All ages. Meridian Habitat Park, Puyallup. piercecountywa.org

Totally Kids Only Race. Let the kids loose to run around the lake! One- and two-mile course options. Parents are welcome to run, but not required as the course is supervised. 9–10:30 a.m. Ages 14 and under.

Wapato Park, Tacoma. metroparkstacoma.org The Pied Piper of Hamelin. Last weekend to see this classic story with a heartwarming message. Friday–Sunday through Nov. 5. $10–$15. All ages. Bellevue Youth Theatre. parks.bellevuewa.gov

8

9

10

11

Storybook Corner. Cozy up for story time and nurture a love of books in kids.

Wednesdays, 10:30–11 a.m. FREE. Ages 1–5 with adult. Island Books, Mercer Island. mercerislandbooks.com ONGOING EVENT Play Coach at Imagine Children’s Museum. Enjoy exciting activities led by the museum’s own Play Coach. Wednesdays, 12:30–1:30 p.m.; Sundays, 2–3 p.m.

Included with admission. Ages 1–12 with families. Everett. imaginecm.org ONGOING EVENT

Tugboat Story Time. Cozy up on a real tugboat for stories of the sea. Second and fourth Thursdays, 11 a.m. FREE. Ages 1–8 with caregiver. Center for Wooden Boats, Seattle. cwb.org ONGOING EVENT Critter Club. Enjoy animal stories, handson exploration and a real-live surprise.

Nov. 9–10, 30; 11 a.m. $13–$15; preregister.

Ages 3–5 with adult. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, Tacoma. pdza.org

Tots Welcoming Shabbat. All are welcome to share singing, prayer, challah and juice in a joyful environment. Fridays, 11:15 a.m.–noon. FREE. Ages 0–5 with caregiver.

Temple B’Nai Torah, Bellevue. templebnaitorah.org ONGOING EVENT Veteran Appreciation Days. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium and Northwest Trek offer free admission to active-duty military and veterans, and half-price for their immediate families. Friday–Sunday, Nov. 10–12.

Tacoma, Eatonville. pdza.org, nwtrek.org

15

16

17

18

Baby Gym. You and your baby explore with coach guidance at this FREE drop-in group class. Wednesday, 9:30–10 a.m. Ages 4–12 months with caregiver. Advantage Gymnastics Academy, Woodinville. advantagegym.com ONGOING EVENT Kidz Bounce Drop-In Time. Grown-ups get a breather while the little ones get their workout. Tuesday–Thursday, 9:30–11 a.m. or 12:30–2 p.m.; Thursday, 5–6:30 p.m. $8. Ages 2–10. Kidz Bounce, Preston. kidzbounce.com ONGOING EVENT

Family Nature Class. Explore learning stations about nocturnal animals and get outside for a short hike. Thursday–Saturday, 9:30–11:30 a.m. $19 per adult/child pair; preregister. Ages 2–5 with caregiver.

Washington Park Arboretum, Seattle. botanicgardens.uw.edu Kaleidoscope Play and Learn. Meet and play with other families. Thursday, 10:30–noon. FREE. Ages 0–5 with caregiver.

Third Place Commons, Lake Forest Park. thirdplacecommons.org ONGOING EVENT

Mercer Slough Night Walk. Learn all about nocturnal animals in the lab, then head out for a guided night walk. 7–9 p.m. $15; preregister. Ages 6 and up with adult.

Mercer Slough Environmental Education Center Center, Bellevue. pacificsciencecenter.org FREE Admission Night at Imagine. Let off steam for FREE at this popular museum.

5:30–9 p.m. Ages 1–12 with families.

Imagine Children’s Museum, Everett. imaginecm.org

Yulefest. Partake in Scandinavian Christmas traditions with music, tasty treats, craft marketplace and Santa. $5; ages 12 and under free. Saturday–Sunday, Nov. 18–19. Nordic Heritage Museum, Seattle. nordicmuseum.org Disney’s Newsies. Enjoy this Tony Award-winning musical romp about the newsboy strike of 1899. Nov. 9–Dec. 31.

Two performances today: 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. $37–$82. Ages 8 and up. Village Theatre, Issaquah. villagetheatre.org

22

23

24

25

Swansons Reindeer Festival. Meet real-live reindeer and their camel buddy, Curley; plus check out the train display and snap a photo in the sleigh. Daily, Nov. 11– Dec. 24. FREE. Swansons Nursery, Seattle. swansonsnursery.com The Polar Express Train Ride. Bundle up for a charming trip to the North Pole and a visit with Santa. Select dates Nov. 17–Dec. 31. $22–$73; age 1 and under free. Mt. Rainier Railroad and Logging Museum, Elbe. mtrainierrailroad.com

Seattle Turkey Trot. Join your community for a scenic 5K jaunt that finishes at Golden Gardens and benefits the Ballard Food Bank. 9 a.m. $15–$40. Golden Gardens, Seattle. seattleturkeytrot.org Norpoint Turkey Trot. Move your body before stuffing your belly; try the 5K run, 2-mile run/walk or kids’ trot. 9 a.m. $15–$35. Center at Norpoint, Tacoma. metroparkstacoma.org

Youth Appreciation and Water Safety Day. Dive in to enjoy swimming, water safety demos and more. 12:30–2:30 p.m. $7; ages 12 and under free. Bellevue Aquatic Center. bellevuewa.gov Hook. Follow Peter’s return to Neverland as an adult — to save the day — in this Spielberg classic. Free inflatable swords while supplies last. Nov. 24–26. Price TBD. Rated PG. SIFF Film Center, Seattle. siff.net

Greet the Season. Celebrate the season with music, dance, crafts and more; bring new socks to donate to a homeless shelter and get $2 off admission to MOHAI. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. FREE. Lake Union Park, Seattle. mohai.org Holiday Tree Lighting. Gather with the community for this traditional welcome of the season; get tickets to see Cirquetacular’s “Snowkus Pocus” beforehand.

5 p.m. 9th and Broadway, Tacoma. broadwaycenter.org

Ballard Church Indoor Play. Neighborhood church opens its doors for families with tots to play out of the rain. Tuesday– Thursday, 10:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 0–8 with adult. Ballard Church, Seattle. ballardchurch.com ONGOING EVENT Low-sensory Evening. KidsQuest invites kids to play with a bit less noise and light, and fewer other guests. 5:30–7:30 p.m.

FREE; preregister. Ages 1–10 with families.

KidsQuest Children’s Museum, Bellevue. kidsquestmuseum.org

29

30

Wild Wednesday. Free admission to this indoor playground last Wednesday of the month with two-item per person food bank donation. 9 a.m.–8 p.m. Ages 1–12 with adult. PlayDate SEA, Seattle. playdatesea.com Bellevue’s Magic Season Ice Arena. Get your glide on at this seasonal, covered ice arena. Nov. 24–Jan. 15. $10–$14 includes skate rental. Bellevue Downtown Park. bellevuedowntown.com

Winterfest. Marvel at the massive model train display (control trains during special hours with $2 suggested donation) and enjoy the seasonal skating rink. Performances on select dates. Nov. 24–Jan. 7. Train viewing FREE; skating requires fee. Seattle Center. seattlecenter.com Snowflake Lane. It’s a nightly holiday parade with lights, drummers, dancers and more. Daily, Nov. 24–Dec. 24, 7 p.m. FREE. Bellevue Way and N.E. 8th St., Bellevue. snowflakelane.com

SWANSONS NURSERY

1

THURSDAY

Swansons Reindeer Festival, Nov. 11–Dec. 24

Veterans Day Parade. Honor our country’s veterans and active-duty military at this annual Auburn parade, one of the largest in the U.S. 11 a.m. FREE. Auburn. auburnwa.gov FREE Entrance to National and State Parks. Enjoy our national parks FREE Nov. 11–12, and state parks FREE (no Discover Pass required) Nov. 11 and 24. nps.gov, discoverpass.wa.gov

Loads more family fun activities at parentmap.com/ calendar

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 21

ON SALE NOW!

share the magic November 24 - December 17 Bellevue | Auburn | REnton

One hour performances!

Evergreen City Tickets: 1.800.514.3849 evergreencityballet.org

season’s readings

S T E K C I T GOING! FAST

“Powerful . . . discusses sex and relationships in language boys will understand. This is an invaluable book!”

“Demystifies myths —Michael Gurian, author . . . a straightforward, Wonder of The on thorough primer sex.” of Boys

“Keen insight into the inner world of children.”

—Marsha Linehan, Ph.D.

Getting to

CALM

—Julie Metzger, R.N., M.N., cofounder of Great Conversations

THE EARLY YEARS

Cool-Headed Strategies for Raising Happy, Caring, and Independent Three- to Seven-Year-Olds

Spare Me

‘The The Talk’!Spare Me ‘The Talk’!

A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up

ANY TWO BOOKS FOR only

$25

A Girl’s Guide to Sex, JO LANGFORD,Relationships, M.A. and Growing Up

JO LANGFORD, M.A.

“Emphasizing kindness and responsibility, Langford provides comprehensive information for teen boys about one of life’s riskiest realms.” ,cause parenting is a trip! ,cause —Laura Laura Kastner, Ph.D., author of parenting is a trip!

Getting to Calm and Wise-Minded Parenting “This book is your insurance policy that you are

COVER.indd 1

providing your daughter with the vital information she needs for sexual health and safety.”

—Laura Kastner, Ph.D., author of 2/6/15 10:47 AM Getting to Calm and Wise-Minded Parenting

Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D.

,,cause parenting is a trip! cause parenting is a trip!

“Kastner masterfully guides parents through the complex maze of parenting.”

—Yaffa Maritz, director, Community of Mindful Parenting

parentmap.com/parentmap-books

1117_books_1-8h.indd 1

10/17/17 10:55 PM

October 27–November 5, 2017

The Musical November 24–December 3, 2017

EMILY PENICK

acttheatre.org | 206.292.7676 | 700 Union Street, Seattle 22 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

December 8–17, 2017

425-452-7155 • parks.bellevuewa.gov/BYT Photo by Dawn Schaefer

NOV 24–DEC 28

November 10–19, 2017

‘Twas the night before Christmas

BY CHARLES DICKENS ADAPTED BY GREGORY FALLS DIRECTED BY

,cause parenting is a trip!

Bellevue Youth Theatre 16051 NE 10th Street, Bellevue

gift guide

12 TECH G I FTS Your Kids Will Totally Love

Rack up the cool-parent cred this holiday season

By Gemma Alexander

Adults may feel nostalgic for oldfashioned toys, but it’s hard to beat the bells and whistles of modern-day tech toys. We’ve sorted through the useless plastic crap (or UPC, as a mom friend of mine calls it) for the best tech-driven toys for your kids’ holiday

CONTINUED ON PAGE 25

>>

wish list.

SPLATOON 2 IMAGE COURTESY NINTENDO

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 23

g

i

f

t

g

u

Give the Gift of Hands-on Learning!

i

d

e

Innovative and educational toys, games, arts & crafts, science, puzzles, dolls, trains and books from around the world.

Visit • Play • Make • Tinker at Olympia’s award-winning children’s museum

Art Classes and Birthday Parties www.snapdoodletoys.com Snapdoodle Kenmore • Redmond SnapdoodleToys Toys • • Kenmore • 425.408.0021 Come play with us!

0917_snapdoodle_1-8h.indd 1

7/3/17 12:29 PM

Enjoy holiday activities, performers & events.

Become a member & explore 150 + exhibits for free all year!

INSPIRED LEARNING

Hands On Children’s Museum 414 Jefferson St. NE • Olympia, WA 98501 (360) 956-0818 • hocm.org

117_hands_on_childrens_museum_1-4.indd 1

10/9/17 9:10 AM

Largest Selection of Toys in Seattle

Open since 1987

Keeping Healthy Play Alive MERLOT, ROSE, PINOT, OH NO! Get cozy this Fall at The Recology Store! Check out our selection of Rewined candles, set in recycled wine bottles and made with the key notes of the wine they represent.

Follow us on Facebook!

Golden Teddy Awards

issaquah | bothell | burien | shoreline

(206) 782-0098 | toptentoys.com 120 N 85th St in Greenwood 24 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

gift guide Prices are approximate and will vary by retailer.

continued from page 23 IMAGE COURTESY AMAZON.COM

AGES 4–7 Cube-tastic • $20

IMAGE COURTESY FURREALFRIENDS.COM

Kids love a Rubik’s Cube — at first.

It doesn’t take long before they decide the puzzle is unsolvable. Enter Cubetastic, a puzzle cube that pairs with a free augmented-reality app kids can use when they get stuck or for timed challenges.

FurReal Friends • $10–$120

Remember those little battery-powered dogs that barked and sat? Well, animatronic toys have gotten a tech makeover thanks to FurReal Friends. These responsive toy animals — from kittens to monkeys to unicorns — can eat, poop, walk on a leash, bark, blink, sneeze and so much more. Many are activated by hand, but some of the fancier ones are controlled by apps.

f

Feel like you’re flying thanks to The Museum of Flight. Three flight simulators offer a 360-degree view. The Premium i360 Flight Simulator immerses you in pilot-gunner air combat (children shorter than 48 inches must be accompanied by an adult). The 4D-X Simulator Ride for groups mimics life as a pilot with aerial maneuvers and simulated combat (must be 38 inches tall to ride). And the Junior Voyager Simulator lets kids explore the skies with a joystick, stereo sound, widescreen monitor and flashing lights.

Qmod Energy Kit • $87

Kids can create electricity from wind, water, sunshine, plants and even bacteria with this kit. Includes a battery, solar panel, LEDs and electrodes for fun and intuitive experiments. >>

t

g

IMAGE COURTESY MYQMOD.COM

When money is no object, the Skywalker is the limit. Radio Flyer’s Luke Skywalker Landspeeder is modeled after the X-34 craft from “Star Wars: A New Hope.” It has room for two riders, an interactive dashboard with lights and movie sounds, and a working gearshift that maxes out at 5 miles per hour. Is it ridiculously expensive?

Yes. Is it totally awesome? Also yes.

i

Flight simulators at The Museum of Flight • $1–$9

IMAGE COURTESY LANDSPEEDER.RADIOFLYER.COM

Landspeeder • $500

g

AGES 8–12

u

i

d

e

www.outsidetheboxcreation.com

Art project boxes delivered monthly.

©Anthony Floyd

Monthly magazine delivered to your door 2015

PRESCHOOL

SAVE THE DATE

previews

PRESCHOOL

previews

’cause parenting is a trip!

PAGE 48

FREE EVENT!

Find the best preschool program for your child!

Makes a great gift!

eastside

north seattle

9:30 am – 12:30 pm Highlands Community Center

2 – 4 pm Shoreline Community College

south sound

seattle/central

10 am – 12 pm STAR Center Tacoma

10 am – 12 pm Mt. Baker Community Club

JAN 10

JAN 17

JAN 11

JAN 18

parentmap.com/preschool-previews

Leap

1114_preschool_preview_3-8.indd 1

into the

holidays

10/20/14 10:21 AM

Toys, shows, and the search for something greater gift guide SEATTLE DECEMBER 2015

GIVE THEM A GIFT THEY’LL ENJOY EVERY MONTH!

FULL PLATE WITH THE STOWELLS A foodie family’s musthave kitchen gear! 19

Star Wars, STEM and old-school gifts 24 GOT A BLENDED OR STEPFAMILY?

How to keep the holidays calm and peaceful 51

BUILD AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE Tips to teach your kids real thankfulness 55

MEET A REAL JEDI MASTER Someone you should know 62

parentmap.com/ subscribe

Go PLAY Activity Cards Make A Great Gift for Parents!

• PLAY is the BEST way to LEARN! • Hands-on Learning Activities • Promotes Literacy • Step-by-Step Plans

PlayAndGrow.com parentmap.com • November 2017 • 25

gift guide

continued from page 25 Augie • $200

OR SOMETHING ELSE?

MODIFICATION. If your child struggles, get the expert help you need. Our clinical psychologist, psychiatrist and team of licensed counselors are highly experienced in testing, treating and providing counseling for ADD, ADHD, autism and a range of learning disorders. Don’t wait for the answers you need. Call today.

OPEN TO EVERYONE.

425.462.2776

26 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

My kids have been begging for Sphero’s robot racer Ollie ever since they saw one at a friend’s house. This Bluetoothconnected, app-controlled robot goes up to 14 miles per hour and can make sharp turns and drift like a race car. Powered by a USB charger, Ollie glows in millions of colors, making it all the more enticing.

(And if your family prefers good oldfashioned remote control, Sphero has a Lightning McQueen toy you might want to check out.)

AGES 13–18 Crunchyroll • $7 monthly

Crunchyroll is one of the few legal and official anime streaming sites in the U.S. (just try finding the latest anime on Netflix). Plus, it shares revenue with its Japanese partners, which means subscribing supports the creators of those anime shows your teens love so dearly.

Episodes go online as soon as an hour after they air in Japan; you can also download the latest manga chapters as soon as they are published. Subtitling allows your teen to be a true otaku rather than a weeb, but if dub is the order of the day, subscribe to Funimation instead. >>

IMAGE COURTESY CRUNCHYROLL

proclub.com

Sphero robot racers • $100–$300

IMAGE COURTESY SPHERO.COM

DIAGNOSIS. COUNSELING. BEHAVIOR

IMAGE COURTESY NEWEGG.COM

IS IT ADD?

Not quite as cute as BB-8 of “Star Wars,” Augie the Coding Robot still has enough charm to motivate kids to learn. Kids program Augie’s movements using an accompanying app. The more coding kids learn, the more Augie can do.

S C H O O L S Enrolling 2017- 2018 Preschool- Grade 8

2018

PRESCHOOL

Previews

Giving Children an Education for Life!

• Holistic JoyininLearning Learning • Holistic• •Experiential Experiential •• Joy • Small ClassSize Size •• Strong • Small Class StrongAcademics Academics • Yoga & Meditation, French, Spanish, Music, Drama • Yoga & Meditation, French, Music, Drama • Nature Awareness••Skills Skills for Living • Nature Awareness forMindful Mindful Living

Tours Weekly

Call 425-772-9862 Callto to visit visit 425-772-9862 LivingWisdomSchoolWa.org livingwisdomschoolwa.org NWAIS SUBSCRIBER MEMBER

JOIN US

1017_living_wisdom_1-16.indd 1

for an Open House

Does your child love school?

University Co-op kids do!

See pg 12

Open House – December 2, 1:30 p.m.

parentmap.com/ preschoolpreviews

9/12/17 1117_PP_1-16.indd 1:17 PM 1

Kindergarten through 5th 206.524.0653 ucoopschool.org

REAL MONTESSORI | REAL PREP

10/16/17 1117_university_coop_1-8h.indd 8:18 PM 1

10/6/17 1:05 PM

W OODIN NVILLE MONTESSORI MONTESSOORI SCHOOL SCHOOL WOODINVILLE & WOODINVILLE MONTESSORI HIGH SCHOOL

High School November 15

college prep • personalized & mastery learning • development of positive personal values

Middle & High School December 6

Accredited by AMS & NWAIS for 18 months-18 years

RSVP FOR OPEN HOUSES

Middle School January 10 Coed, Grades 6 -12 eastsidecatholic.org

The Power of Childhood We encourage each child’s innate passion for learning through intellectual exploration, imaginative thinking and the practice of kindness.

Oct. 28, 2017 & Jan. 11, 2018 www.woodinvillemontessori.org | 425-420-9712

FOREST RIDGE

1117_woodinville_montessori_1-8h.indd 1

T H E

WOMEN WHO CAN

S A C R E D

H E A R T

S C H O O L

O F

10/11/17 5:37 PM

S E AT T L E

Invent. Build. Design. Think. Grow. Collaborate. Love.

Mentor. Dance. Persevere. Lead. Pray. Nurture. Compete.

Respect. Inspire. Adapt. Negotiate. Laugh. Discover.

Pre-K through 5th Grade To learn more about our school and sign up for a tour, go to www.thevalleyschool.org

Join Us for an Open House 318 30th Ave E., Seattle WA 98112 206.328.4475

January 9, 2018 | 4:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m. www.forestridge.org parentmap.com • November 2017 • 27

Open House

SCHOOLS

Come visit to learn about our program and get the answers you’re looking for!

Saturday, November 4, 2017: Age 3–Grade 8 From 10 AM–12 PM in Classrooms

Saturday, January 17, 2018: Age 3–Grade 3 From 10 AM–12 PM in Main and Mezzo Classrooms 2701 Bel-Red RD Bellevue, WA 98008

www.etonschool.org

We’re for

We’re for the promise questioning the of community. practice of teaching to the test.

We’re for the power We’re for of every family.

empowering educators to ask, “What’s right for this child?”

WE’RE FOR WHAT YOU’RE FOR: YOUR CHILD

11/1

School Readiness Workshop

11/10

Fall Visit Day

cwa.is/foryourchild (253) 620-8373 Girls & Boys // Jr. K - Grade 12 // Bus Service

28 • November Date: October2017 11, 2017• parentmap.com Production Contact: Advertiser: Charles Wright

Amy Senftleben, 253-620-8870

continued from page 26 GeekFuel subscription box • $25 monthly

This monthly subscription box offers at least $40 worth of geeky mystery items for the low cost of $25 a month. Boxes can include a variety of treasures, such as T-shirts, figurines, coveted enamel pins and downloadable games.

Vintage game consoles • $5 and up

Try a retro game with simple graphics to change up your teen’s gaming (we’re sure they’ll love it!).

Sure, you can dig up a Commodore 64 or other old PC, but there’s a certain nerdy beauty to finding an old-school game console that’s as inefficient as it fun. This gift becomes a whole family affair with the subsequent quest for game cartridges that actually work!

Ultimate Ears Wireless Speaker • $100

No matter the era, kids want their music and they want it loud. Try the modern-day boombox, aka a cell-phone-controlled Bluetooth wireless speaker. Good sound quality is a given, but the ones by Ultimate Ears are small enough to carry. They’re also waterproof, and have a battery charge that lasts for 10 hours. Look for a variety of colors and get even more stylish with its (higher-priced) Street Collection’s floral and graphic designs.

Splatoon 2 and Persona 5 • $60

Kids think you’re totally not cool with video games?

Wow ’em with Splatoon 2 for Nintendo Switch. Players transform into squids and win territory by coating it with ink (think paintball but with more tentacles). This game, rated E for everyone, is a happy compromise for the kid who wants a shooter game and the parent who’d prefer to skip the violence.

If you’re looking for something a little more sophisticated, try Persona 5 for PS4 (rated M for mature). It’s a Japanese game about high school vigilantes with psychic powers. Dungeon crawls with turn-based combat alternate with high school time management and social network building for a really good time. n Gemma Alexander is a Seattle-based freelance writer with two daughters.

She blogs about books and travel, and spends too much time on Twitter (@gemmadeetweet).

IMAGE COURTESY PERSONA 5

WE’RE FOR WHAT YOU’RE FOR: YOUR CHILD

gift guide

S C H O O L S A Teacher’s Advice on How to Talk to Your Kid’s Teacher

PRESCHOOL – 8TH GRADE

Chances are good you’ll need to have at least one constructive conversation with your child’s teacher this school year. As a teacher, I highly recommend using chocolate (it’s the answer to everything) but keep these suggestions for strong communication handy, too. (Do be sure to give them lots of chocolate, though.)

BE EFFICIENT: Everyone’s busy. When they are not basking in the glorious stretch of summer vacation months, teachers are typically slammed with lesson planning and paperwork even once the teaching day is done. Good teachers will value parental insight and academic reinforcement; however, they’ll always prefer a scheduled quick, 10-minute chat to a lingering “hallway conference.”

Even better: a short, solution-oriented email.

KNOW HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH: Work with your child’s school in a professional manner, but be as tenacious as a badger! Never rest until your child’s needs are being met! Ideally, after a smooth start, communication will flow effortlessly. Regardless, make sure to get updates on your child’s progress every six weeks. These check-ins will allow you to adjust that much appreciated home reinforcement. You’ve got to know what your child is working on to know how to support at home GET A TEMPLATE FOR THAT EMAIL you want to send: parentmap. com/teacher-advice

YOUR VISION, OUR MISSION At St. Thomas School children learn to be leaders, collaborators, critical thinkers, and people of character.

Learn more at our Open House!

November 2 • 9 a.m. www.stthomasschool.org

Discovery Grants available for new JDS families. Now accepting applications.

'6/

&91-03"5*0/ */26*3: $3&"5*7*5: 3&'-&$5*0/

Fostering critical thinking, problem em solving, confidence, confifidence,, co ovation and more — collaboration, leadership, innovation all in a global learning environment.

EARLY CHILDHOOD – 8TH GRADE | 15749 NE 4TH STREET, BELLEVUE 425.460.0260 | ADMISSIONS@JDS.ORG | WWW.JDS.ORG

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 29

S C H O O L S

Igniting the academic and creative potential of students with dyslexia and other language-based learning differences.

1701 20th Ave S, Seattle, WA 98144

hamlinrobinson.org

Elementary Education Ages 5-11

Be that brilliant parent!

“Powerful . . . discusses sex and relationships in language boys will understand. This is an “Demystifies myths invaluable book!” . . . a straightforward, Michael Gurian, author —Michael thorough primer on sex.” of The Wonder of Boys —Julie Metzger, R.N., M.N., cofounder of Great Conversations

“Keen insight into the inner world of children.”

—Marsha Linehan, Ph.D.

Getting to

CALM THE EARLY YEARS

Cool-Headed Strategies for Raising Happy, Caring, and Independent Three- to Seven-Year-Olds

Spare Me

DOWNTOWN

914 Virginia St. Seattle, WA 98101 206.621.9211

A diverse academic environment where creativity and imagination thrive.

2015-2016 OPEN HOUSES December 2, 2017 • 10 am January 6, 2018 • 10 am

www.sprucestreetschool.org

1117_spruce_street_1-8h.indd 1

30 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

‘The Talk Talk’! ’!

A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up

JO LANGFORD, M.A. Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D. “Kastner masterfully guides parents through the complex maze of parenting.”

—Yaffa Maritz, director, Community of Mindful Parenting

“Emphasizing kindness and responsibility, Langford provides comprehensive information for teen boys about one of life’s riskiest realms.”

—Laura Kastner, Ph.D., author of Getting to Calm and Wise-Minded Parenting

,cause parenting is a trip!

Makes

Spare Me

‘The Talk’! a great A Girl’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up

gift!

JO LANGFORD, M.A. “This book is your insurance policy that you are

,cause parenting is a trip! providing your daughter with the vital information ,cause parenting is a trip!

she needs for sexual health and safety.”

—Laura Kastner, Ph.D., author of Getting to Calm and Wise-Minded Parenting

,,cause parenting is a trip! cause parenting is a trip!

amazon or parentmap.com/parentmap-books

1117_books_brill 10/11/17 3:19 PM parent_1-8h.indd 1

10/17/17 10:56 PM

S C H O O L S

+

P R E S C H O O L S

4 Surefire Indoor Play Ideas From a Preschool Teacher

Northwest kids are used to gearing up to go outside: hats, jackets, rain boots and gloves. But sometimes, staying inside is the only option, and you need a quick game plan for fun.

Here’s my grab bag of easy kids’ activities I’ve gathered from teaching in Seattle. Any of them can also be the centerpiece for a preschool birthday party. Toys, technology and rules not required. Just add imagination!

FREEZE DANCE: A classic! All you need is music, and the only guideline is to freeze when the music is paused.

SCAVENGER HUNT: Take any theme, such as patterns, letters, or colors and hunt around the house. Make it official with a clipboard and check off items as you go.

HOMEMADE COLLAGE WITH REUSABLE MATERIALS: Simply provide a few items that can be rearranged again and again. Arrange them on a tray or placemat to make patterns, designs and objects.

Since the materials are reusable, take a picture to commemorate each creation.

COOKING: When you have some extra time, make up an easy, handson cooking project for your next snack or meal. For children, cooking can mean sensory exploration, logical ordering and confidence boosting.

Learn how this mom handled it: parentmap.com/preschool-play

1117_bellevue_montessori-1-4.indd 1

WEM

10/13/17 12:21 PM

The Whole Earth Montessori School Est. 1986 Accredited by the American Montessori Society

Upcoming Open Houses To RSVP please visit our website: cedarcrestacademy.org

Bellewood Campus Elementary OPEN HOUSE

Kirkland Campus Kindergarten OPEN HOUSE

Elementary & Preprimary OPEN HOUSE

Preprimary OPEN HOUSE

Redmond Campus Preprimary OPEN HOUSE

Park Highland Campus Preprimary OPEN HOUSE

11/9, 12/7, 2/1 – 9:30-11 am 1/20 – 10 am-12 pm

1/20 – 10 am-12 pm

Kindergarten OPEN HOUSE

1/25 – 5:30-6:30 pm 1/27 – 10 am-12 pm

2/3 – 10 am-12 pm

1/25 – 5:30-6:30 pm

Bellevue • Kirkland • Redmond

Preschool - 8th Grade WEM: An exceptional academic program... an authentic Montessori experience...

To learn more about our programs please contact us for a tour: info@wemschool.org

www.wemschool.org parentmap.com • November 2017 • 31

S C H O O L S

+

P R E S C H O O L S

NOW ENROLLING!

Exceptional Education Exceptional Education Christ-Centered Community Christ-Centered Communit

Enrolling now for Enrolling now for 3’s preschool-8th grade

3’s preschool-8th grade

Learning Academy Preschool (2 years) Pre-Kindergarten (3-4 years) Kindergarten Prep (4-5 years)

www.ecswa.org

www.ecswa.org

Join us for our Kindergarten Preview, November 30th at 8:45 a.m.

1117_eastside_christian_1-8h.indd 1

10/16/17 9:05 AM

,cause parenting is a trip!

Low Ratios and Small Classes ALLI ARNOLD

Qualified Instructors Enrichment Classes Swimming, Soccer and Active Play Whiteboard Learning Learn more at proclub.com or (425) 861-6247

Parenting Solutions for Every Age Sign up for weekly eNews: parentmap.com/enews

1117_enews_1-8h.indd 1

10/17/17 10:55 PM

4455 148th Ave NE | Bellevue WA

(Open to non-club members)

GRADES

K-6

To Know and be Known

When school’s out for the day, we keep kids entertained, active and enriched.

Homework Assistance • Sports & Games Science & Robotics • Leadership • Chess • Art

Call (425) 861-6247 for more information.

Educating students students in in aa culture Educating culture of of connectedness connectedness Call or visit to learn more about the King’s community.

Now offering Spanish Immersion for Kindergarten.

Shoreline, WA | Preschool – High School

Shuttle pick-up from select Eastside schools offered for added convenience.

t ,JOHTTDIPPMT PSH 32 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

ages + stages

2–6

E

Yes, You Can Take Your Kids Volunteering How to finally make it happen this holiday season

By Nancy Schatz Alton

very holiday season, we’re reminded of the importance of volunteering, but we don’t need seasonal reminders to realize people are in need. Take our area’s biggest city.

You can’t go a block in Seattle without seeing someone without a home (a reality reflected in the startlingly statistic that the number of people living on the streets in King County has jumped 21 percent since last year).

While we can — and should — talk with our children about what that statistic means, a whole new level of learning happens when families volunteer together to help those in need.

Christine Craig of North Seattle recalls her 6-year-old daughter’s reaction to volunteering at Wellspring Family Services. “She said, ‘I thought we were helping homeless people.

They look just like us,’” says Craig.

Suddenly, Craig’s kids knew homelessness didn’t fit inside a stereotype. “To realize a homeless person could be anyone and not just a person they saw panhandling on the corner drove home the lesson that you need to be kind to everyone at school, because you can’t tell what’s going on in their lives,” says Craig, who started volunteering with her four children when they were preschoolers.

Creating such learning experiences is just one of many reasons family volunteering is beneficial, but how to do it? Here are the whys and hows of volunteering together — whether it’s addressing our area’s critical problem with housing or supporting our community in others ways this holiday season.

Why it’s worth it While our instincts often tell us to shield our kids, volunteering helps kids deal with the world and its problems. After volunteering to help the homeless, one of Craig’s kids became worried that their family would lose their home.

But it wasn’t the volunteering that caused that

concern; rather, volunteering allowed that concern to surface, says parenting expert Sarina Behar Natkin. Children are thinking thoughts like this all the time, but don’t know it’s okay to say them aloud until they’re presented with opportunities to talk, she says.

Volunteering creates such an opportunity, says Rachel Murray, volunteer engagement manager at United Way of King County. “[It allows] dialogue with family members about the community they live in, the issues the community faces and the great work that is going

on to work towards solving those issues,” Murray says. It’s also a tangible way to build a sense of compassion and empathy for those less fortunate than ourselves, she adds.

Doing good is also a huge boost for young kids struggling with behavior issues. “The added responsibility and the act of volunteering give a child the sense that ‘I matter,’” says Natkin. “When we feel connected to something, we’re more cooperative.”

Volunteering as a unit also strengthens family bonds. “Getting outside of ourselves and our individual problems and doing this as a family builds cooperation, collaboration and connection,” says Natkin. Her own family’s best family meeting happened after volunteering together, she notes.

How to make it happen If you want a recipe for disaster, go from zero volunteering to four hours every Saturday without getting your kids’ buy-in and not prepping them beforehand.

“I’ve had parents bring their kids in, saying they forgot to tell them what they’re doing today. That is a hard sell,” says Nichelle Hilton, community resource coordinator at YWCA Seattle-King-Snohomish.

The first tip for success: Start small. Perhaps build a care kit at home. This small care package often includes practical items that will be of use to someone without a regular home. Online, you’ll find plenty of ideas about what to include in the package; socks, snacks, and hotel-size shampoos and soaps are popular items. Families can also ask nonprofits what the organizations would like in a care kit. >> EDITOR’S NOTE: Join ParentMap on a yearlong conversation to explore how families and schools can nurture empathy, mindfulness and kindness. parentmap.com/raisingkind Sponsored by the Community of Mindful Parenting

Raising

q KIND

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 33

S

C

H

O

O

L

S

ages + stages AGES 2–6 Volunteering continued from page 33 direct impact, Murray says. That While you can make a care kit at was the case for Seattle mom Jen home to donate to a local nonprofit, organizations, including United Way, Bergman. Her 7-year-old son, offer one-time events where families Jake, loves handing out food at the assemble care kits while organizers Georgetown Food Bank because, discuss social justice issues. (Many he tells Bergman, “everyone likes local nonprofits are also open what I give them, and it makes to discussing specific ideas for them happy.” individual families, For Craig, too; for the YWCA, as her children Hilton welcomes have grown, she’s emails at nhilton@ been pleasantly ywcaworks.org.) surprised by the When choosing If your family meaning they’ve a volunteering wants to volunteer found through outside of the home, volunteering. opportunity, find family-friendly Without any opportunities that remember that prompting, her fit your child’s 15-year-old began kids often prefer age. Two websites volunteering that will help are with the Pike experiences GenerationOn, Place Market that show direct a resource that Foundation’s Food includes project Access Program impact. ideas and reflection this summer, guides, and Doing and her 17-yearGood Together, a old regularly national nonprofit volunteers with whose goal is to both a suicide make volunteering and service prevention program and King easy for families.

County’s Youth Justice restorative Locally, families can find a justice program. variety of kid-specific options, Starting to volunteer at a young such as serving meals at Compass age helps positively shape a child’s Housing Alliance and Operation worldview, notes Bergman. “[It Sack Lunch or volunteering changes] who they interact with with the Jewish Family Service and how they interact,” she says. of Seattle. During the holiday “It makes a difference in how they season, several King County see the world.” nonprofits, including YWCA, And that’s a lesson that will last Wellspring, Bellevue LifeSpring, long past the holidays. n Hopelink and Treehouse, accept Freelance writer and editor Nancy gifts for families in need through Schatz Alton says volunteering with the community-wide Adopt-aFamily program. her family reminds her of why she When choosing a volunteering loved volunteering as a teenager. opportunity, remember that kids Yes, she did win her high school’s often prefer experiences that show volunteer service award.

“

NOW ENROLLING for 2017/2018

”

International Montessori School • NEW SODO/Georgetown Location • Serving children ages 8 weeks-6 years • Spanish and Mandarin Chinese immersion • Recipients of the KCTS WA State Caregiver Award and PBS Nationwide Caregiver Award

(206) 395-8209 • worldkidsschool.com • info@worldkidsschool.com Serving West Seattle, SODO/Georgetown & Edmonds

34 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

S C H O O L S

+

2018

P R E S C H O O L S

CAMP FAIRS < Degrees & Certificates < Co-op Preschools < Parent-Child Center

See pg 18

parentmap.com/ campfair

SHORELINE CHRISTIAN

1117_CF_1-16.indd 1

10/16/17 8:18 PM

Education for the world. Education for life.

Discover Me: Parent and Child Program. Visit MCHKids.com to register for our next, 6-week session.

Preschool to 12th Grade Open House November 2, 2017

Kindergarten Open House

MCHKIDS.COM 5003 218TH AVE NE REDMOND, WA 98053 425-868-7805

December 7, 2017

Preschool Open House January 25, 2018

L CAL

OR

YOU ARE YOUR CHILD’S FIRST TEACHER.

US! T I S VI

s h o r e l i n e c h r i s t i a n . o r g | 206.364.7777

1117_shoreline_christian_1-8h.indd 1

10/11/17 5:28 PM

PreK - 8th grade

The Sammamish Montessori School In Redmond

Call 425-883-3271 for a tour. ͻ Child-centered, joyful atmosphere with strong academic focus ͻ džƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ͕ DŽŶƚĞƐƐŽƌŝͲĐĞƌƟĮĞĚ ƚĞĂĐŚĞƌƐ ͻ Preschool, kindergarten and elementary ͻ Family owned and operated since 1977 ͻ ^ƵŵŵĞƌ͕ ďĞĨŽƌĞ Θ ĂŌĞƌ ƐĐŚŽŽů ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵƐ ͻ WƌĞƉ WƌŽŐƌĂŵ͕ ;ƐƚĂƌƟŶŐ ĂŐĞƐ Ϯ ПШЖͲϯͿ

in g N o w E n r o ll

www.sammamishmontessori.com 425-883-3271

YOU’RE INVITED TO THE MCH OPEN HOUSE EVENT.

December 2, 10:30 a.m. - 1:00 p.m.

Serving students from 6 months to sixth grade.

MCHKIDS.COM • 425-868-7805 5003 218TH AVE NE, REDMOND, WA 98053

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 35

A

R

T

S

+

A

C

T

3 Seasonal Crafts Kids Will Love

Celebrate the season with these creative ideas that’ll keep your little explorers busy for hours. Bonus: Their handiwork might make for the perfect seasonal decoration!

SUPREME SUNFLOWERS: All of your garden’s flowers may have come to an end for the year, but these sunshine-y beauties will last all season long! Use newspaper, coffee filters, tempura paint, thin cardboard, felt, poppy seeds and twigs for a fantastic eco-friendly bouquet that’ll bring in the sun.

CRITTER CUTENESS: We love these little pine cone hedgehogs. Made using pine cones found in the backyard and polymer clay, they also have black beads for eyes, powder blush for a little bit of cheek color and details on their feet and faces from a little bit of handy toothpick work.

SCIENTIFIC RAINBOW ART: A great project for rainy days that are typically spent inside, you’ll only need to have some bleeding tissue paper pieces, regular paper and glue on hand to recreate your own rain-blurred rainbow. Once your rainbow is constructed and dried, simply set it outside and let the raindrops do their work.

Get 15 more ideas at parentmap.com/fall-crafts — Jen Betterley

Attend a free Parent Info Night, 7 pm the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of every month.

0417_lehman_learning_1-8h.indd 1

3/19/17 7:43 PM

,cause parenting is a trip!

Monthly magazine delivered to your door parentmap.com/subscribe

Makes a great gift!

12 monthly issues — $12

2015

2015

PRESCHOOL

PRESCHOOL

SAVE THE DATE

FREE EVENT

previews

previews PRESCHOOL previews

’cause parenting is a trip!

PRESCHOOL

previews

’cause parenting is a trip!

SEE PAGE 63

PAGE 48

More

FREE EVENT!

FREE EVENT!

Find the best preschool program for your child!

Find the best preschool program for your child! eastside

north seattle

eastside

north seattle

9:30 am – 12:30 pm Highlands Community Center

2 – 4 pm Shoreline Community College

9:30 am – 12:30 pm Highlands Community Center

2 – 4 pm Shoreline Community College

south sound

seattle/central

south sound

seattle/central

10 am – 12 pm STAR Center Tacoma

10 am – 12 pm Mt. Baker Community Club

10 am – 12 pm STAR Center Tacoma

10 am – 12 pm Mt. Baker Community Club

JAN 10

JAN 17

JAN 10

JAN 11

JAN 18

JAN 17

parentmap.com/preschool-previews

1114_preschool_preview_3-8.indd 1

bliss

1114_preschool_preview_3-8.indd 1

into the

Should we step in or stand back

holidays

to help kids find their passion?

Toys, shows, and the search for something greater OUR BIG HOLIDAY ARTS GUIDE

Lights, song, theater, oh my! (Plus, cheap thrills) 34

1214_01_S_SO_cover_cloud.indd 1

gift guide

Old-school gifts they’ll love 14 TEENS AND ONLINE PRIVACY

Pressure, posting and what your kids are thinking 60

THEY CAN PLAY THE PENNY WHISTLE!

Trendy instruments and new ideas for family music 57

WHEN BABY NEEDS SURGERY What to bring, how to plan 54

11/19/14 8:59 AM

SEATTLE DECEMBER 2015

DECEMBER 2014

36 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

rad retro toys

FULL PLATE WITH THE STOWELLS A foodie family’s musthave kitchen gear! 19

Star Wars, STEM and old-school gifts 24 GOT A BLENDED OR STEPFAMILY?

How to keep the holidays calm and peaceful 51

JAN 18

parentmap.com/preschool-previews

Leap

10/20/14 10:21 AM

FOLLOW

JAN 11

BUILD AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE Tips to teach your kids real thankfulness 55

MEET A REAL JEDI MASTER Someone you should know 62

10/20/14 10:21 AM

I

V

I

T

Mozart Music Preschool

I

E

S

cut this out

5

program offered by Bellevue Academy of Music

NOW ENROLLING

Acting • Music • Dance • Camps

Full Musical Productions Performing Arts Preschool

1

ages

3 to 5

Ages 3-14

Early Ea E arly childhood chilildhood music mus u ic i training tra tr Located Locate t d in i Bellevue, Bellllevue, e Northwest Nor o Pianos

seattleslittlestperformers.com

www.MozartPreschool.com www MozartPresc

2

7/13/17 7:31 PM

Ask your kids about what they’re grateful for.

206-542-3266

4

After School • Weekends • Camps 10/16/17 2:56 PM

Register for ProjectFUN School Year Programs!

After school programs where K-12 can learn and have fun!

• Creative Problem-Solving • Design Thinking by Stanford • Arts First • Lego WeDo Month • Programming $50 Off! • Robotics • Math/Writing Tutoring • Homework Help/Test prep • Mandarin 13635 NE 8th St. Suite 104 Bellevue, 98005 mindsmining.com 425-209-4117

Engage your K-12 student with ProjectFUN Homeschool, Afterschool, or Weekend Workshops.

They may list their toys or other possessions. That’s okay! Don’t be dismissive.

Creature comforts are important, too.

M ake it a habit.

Try naming things you’re grateful for during an already established routine, like at mealtime or bedtime. Or try it when you’re driving the kids somewhere.

5

Keep a journal.

Learn Lear Le arn n ab abou about outt ou ourr KK K-12 12 p programs rogr ro gram amss at at::

Learn more at: projectfun.digipen.edu

!

Unleash Creativity Build Confidence & Passion

alk about something T kind that you did for someone.

3

Makes a great gift!

cityvacandsew.com/ classes.htm

_sew4yourself_1-16.indd 1

Then explain why that particular act mattered to you.

This may feel like bragging, but you’re trying to give your kids ideas about how they can help others.

After school • Homeschool Summer camps

Ages 8 and up Shoreline

Teach Your Child Gratitude

Tell your kids about something nice that someone did for you.

Group Sewing Lessons

_seattles_performers_1-16.indd 1

Ways to

Have this within easy reach and encourage the whole family to write in it. Read it at the end of the year or during a rough patch.

— Jessica Graham

Brought to you by:

The Community of Mindful Parenting aspires to empower parents to become more effective, mindful and compassionate.

We are comprised of expectant moms, parents, grandparents, extended families and friends with the goal to nurture powerful relationships between parents and their children.

Visit communityofmindfulparenting.com

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 37

someone you should know

Lisa Hallett

How this Dupont military mom channeled her grief

Meet more heroes: parentmap.com /sysk

By Maegen Blue • Photograph by Will Austin

L

isa Hallett is on the run — literally. On the day we met, Hallett was busy shuttling her three kids to camps, fielding emails as the executive director of a nonprofit she cofounded and training for her next race, an Ironman Triathlon in Arizona.

It’s a daunting schedule, but for Hallett, it’s a familiar and comforting routine. Hallett turned to running after her husband, Army Capt. John Hallett, was killed in action in Afghanistan in 2009.

“My world was upside-down,” says Hallett of that time. She learned of her husband’s death with her 3-week-old baby on her hip — a baby John never got to meet.

Hallett had long used running as a way to cope with her husband’s deployments and the family’s frequent moves, but following his death, she found new solace in the activity. She recalls a run she took with friend Erin O’Connor through their Dupont neighborhood in the days immediately following the news. Soon, others joined them in a show of support. Eventually, in the parking lot of a nearby Burger King, her nonprofit was born.

What is it about running that you think helps a family dealing with absence or grief?

When you’re training for a run, you have this purpose to move forward — literally and figuratively.

The first time we met, we didn’t know what this looked like, where we were going or what we were doing, but we just knew we had to do [it] … and we [ran] around the airfield. And then the following week, we said, “We should say their names,” and so we started to say the names of the men and women who had been killed so far in that deployment.

It all felt very out of our control, but when we gathered on those weekly runs, it was something we could control, and even if it was only for that moment, it was something we could do. We could keep their stories alive in our steps, and we could grow stronger in the experience — literally and figuratively — as we tackled each of those runs.

Everyone has a place in this community. There are days we give strength and days we receive strength.

What are you looking forward to right now?

I’m really excited about the second year of our Gold Star Youth Mentorship Program, which is in partnership with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southwest Washington, through the support of USO Jermaine Kearse 15 to 1 Programs. [ This local foundation was started by former Seattle Seahawk Jermaine Kearse to support children in military families.]

[In the Gold Star Youth Mentorship Program,] each child is

38 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

Wear blue: run to remember has four chapters around the country and 45 regular meetups; Hallett and O’Connor officially founded it together in 2009. Each chapter hosts a weekly run where participants gather in a circle and say the names of those for whom they run.

That mission of remembrance carries over to wear blue: run to remember events. Runners honor fallen service members during the “wear blue Mile,” a mile of the course along which supporters wave American flags in front of large posters showing the photo of a fallen service member. (Wear blue members don’t have to be connected to the military; all are welcome to participate, Hallett says.)

The goal? Create “a living memorial for our country’s fallen military members” and, in doing so, support the families left behind by getting them moving in a new direction. n

Maegen Blue is the editor of “Sounds Fun Mom” (soundsfunmom.com), a blog for South Sound families.

She lives in Puyallup with her husband and two boys. matched with an active-duty service member who has been screened by the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization. Then, they train for a race together.

It’s just wonderful for these children who have sacrificed so much to get to have this relationship and something just for them.

Many of our Gold Star children [had] parents who passed away before they really had a chance to be exposed to a life of service and to really know their parents. For example, my husband, John, was killed three weeks after Heidi was born, so she never really got to know her daddy and she never got to be a military kid. In this program, we’ve been able to illuminate John’s life by illuminating a life of service.

You and your husband grew up together in California. Why did you choose to make the Northwest your home?

We have always had tremendous community support [in the Northwest]. I have a neighbor who brought my garbage cans up — not for days or weeks, but for years. I finally had to tell him the kids were old enough to do it. I like that this is a part of the country where we can live the social ideals we value; we’re also a very active family, so I love that we can hike or get outside whenever we have time.

Are all wear blue runners athletes? Can anyone join in?

Athletes or future athletes! We run in Dupont every Saturday. Come join us!

December 8-10, 2017 at the Cascade Mall in Burlington, WA

 3 days of FREE indoor & outdoor

activities for the whole family!  Special activities featured every day  Play outside in snow from Mt. Baker,

build a snowman, learn about skiing, snowboarding & snow mobiles, try snow shoeing, meet reindeer, take a wagon ride and much more!

 Warm up indoors with carnival games,

gingerbread building, Frozen singalong, caroling & winter themed activities with community partners!  Hotel package information for

Winter Wonderland coming soon!  Restaurants, shopping, movies and

more to see and do!

To learn more call 360.757.8888 or visit

SkagitChildrensMuseum.net

Funding provided by lodging tax grant funds

1117_childrens_museum_skagit_fp.indd 1

The Children’s Museum of Skagit County has 11, 000 sq ft of interactive exhibit space inside the Cascade Mall in Burlington, WA and is open 360 days a year!

CMSC is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

parentmap.com • November 2017 10/13/17 12:25 PM• 39