November 2017 by ParentMap

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TECH G IFTS

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Hot video games, retro robot racers and more

FAMILY ADVENTURE GUIDE

Top tips for expectant and new parents 8

PROTECTING A SUICIDAL CHILD

How this mom and son continue to thrive 17

THE FAMILY WHO VOLUNTEERS TOGETHER You can make it meaningful for the younger kids, too 33

NOVEMBER 2017

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Parenting

Yes, You Can Take Your Kids

4 PARENTMAP.COM

20 NOVEMBER CALENDAR

37 CUT THIS OUT

Go beyond print

5 Ways to Teach Your Child Gratitude

4 PLAY LIST

38 SOMEONE YOU SHOULD KNOW

November Is a Great Month To . . .

Out + About

33 AGES 2–6: VOLUNTEERING

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23 TECH GIFT GUIDE

Meet Lisa Hallett How this military mom channeled her grief

6 DEAR READER

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10 SUICIDE LIVE

Why teens are streaming self-harm

17 VOICE

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November

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A Note of Gratitude “ Between 2007 and 2015, deaths by suicide increased 31 percent for boys and doubled for girls.” — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Pause. Breathe. Take a moment and reread the quote above. It’s unbearable to envision your precious little one so distraught that she would consider, let alone accomplish, taking her life. Still, that statistic from the CDC tell us that you likely already know someone whose world was shattered because of suicide. Our family does. Twice in this past year we’ve lost someone to suicide: a senior at our daughter’s small high school last November, and her dearest You likely already sophomore friend’s close soccer know someone buddy. From our distant perch, both of whose world was these young men appeared to be on top of their worlds. Those much closer shattered because to the boys also reported the same of suicide. glowing “great kid,” “true leader,” “solid student.” We all freeze with fear as we realize that these seemingly “normal” kids, just like ours, took their own lives. So this month, we’re making a conversation about suicide our feature (p. 10) because not talking about it doesn’t make it go away. Also in this issue: how caring for others helps kids. We’re discussing gratitude (p. 37) and volunteering (p. 33) — both parts of Raising Kind, our yearlong conversation on how families can nurture empathy, mindfulness and kindness. As we enter the chaos of the holidays, we encourage you to carve out time to give back, both at home and in our community. It’ll do us all good. Finally, we’re ending on a seasonal note with the first part of our annual Gift Guide. There are no “turkeys” in our editors’ picks of the 12 best tech toys of the year (p. 23). Personally, I’m eyeing one of those FurReal Friends. It eats, it barks, it blinks, it has an off switch. And with that, let me wish you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving. We at ParentMap are grateful for you and look forward to celebrating the season together.

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ParentMap

November 2017, Vol. 15, No. 11 PUBLISHER/EDITOR Alayne Sulkin

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SUICIDE LIVE

Why teens are streaming self-harm BY MALIA JACOBSON

ifteen-year-old Isaiah Gonzalez was a soon-to-be sophomore preparing to start his Texas school’s ROTC program. Then, in July, his father found him dead in his bedroom closet. Nearby, a propped-up phone broadcast Gonzalez’s suicide online.

His parents say their son took part in the Blue Whale Challenge, a macabre social

media group promoting a string of challenges that culminate in suicide. Because the challenge is primarily aimed at teens, school districts across the nation have issued warnings about it. The Russian man who says he started the challenge in 2013 pleaded guilty to

“These livestreamed tragedies are

inciting numerous teen deaths after his arrest last November. The Blue Whale Challenge is only one example of a recent rash of young people live streaming suicide. Last December, 12-year-old Katelyn Davis of Georgia livestreamed

the public face of a troubling

her suicide on Live.me; the following month, 14-year-old Naika

trend.”

Venant of Florida broadcast her own death. In April, 20-year-old Jamal Chandler of Brooklyn streamed the final minutes of his life before dying by suicide. In May, police intervened and saved the life of a Georgia teen attempting to broadcast her suicide via Facebook Live. That same month, Facebook cofounder Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook would hire 3,000 new employees to screen violent videos — a move some hope will spur more life-saving interventions. Of course, help didn’t come quickly enough for families like Isaiah Gonzalez’s. >>

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SUICIDE LIVE continued from page 11

What’s happening?

likely culprit for the spike in teen suicides is teens’ increased access to technology. Internet use is linked to suicide rates in the U.S. and worldwide; as rates of internet use increase, so do deaths by suicide. While research shows that news reports of suicide deaths are linked to increased suicide rates, it’s internet use in general that’s linked to more suicides. That’s troubling news considering that smartphone ownership is up 29 percent since 2011 and that 73 percent of teens own a smartphone, per the Pew Research Center.

These livestreamed tragedies are the public face of a troubling trend, says Dr. Cora Breuner, an adolescent medicine specialist at Seattle Children’s Hospital. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the second-leading cause of death for teens and young adults ages 15–34. Rates for teens 15–19 are rising fast: Between 2007 and 2015, deaths by suicide increased 31 percent for boys and doubled for girls. The CDC reports that more than 22 percent of girls and 11 percent of boys seriously considered suicide, and 13 percent had a plan to die. That But why? gender gap in suicide deaths is less about intent The internet gives teens an onramp to pro-suicide and more about the method, says Dr. Christopher websites and chatrooms that give step-by-step Famy, a Seattle psychiatrist who studies suicides. instructions for self-harm, says Jennifer Barron, He says males tend to use guns — lethal 85–90 director of training at Forefront, University of percent of the time when used for suicide — while Washington’s suicide prevention program. females tend toward pills — lethal 20 percent of Even when social media doesn’t point toward the time. suicide — and, of course, not all social media does What’s driving this steep increase? It’s easy to — it can make it easier for vulnerable teens to feel point to media flashpoints like the buzzy series “13 constantly victimized, says Barron. Reasons Why,” a Netflix drama about the reasons a “It used to be that kids getting bullied at teenager decided to end her life. But the show and school could go home and escape,” she says. its surrounding hype aren’t to blame, says Breuner; “Kids who weren’t popular in class could still the CDC data is from 2015, two years before the pal around with kids in their neighborhood show debuted. and be a different person. Now, Rather, “13 Reasons Why” and there’s no escape.” “splashy films like 2016’s “Suicide “Between 2007 Even for kids who seem wellSquad” and 2011’s “Suicide and 2015, deaths liked, there's pressure from social Room” are more a reflection of media that previous generations a trend than that trend’s driving by suicide didn’t have to deal with, says force, she says. Still, Breuner Rosalind Wiseman, author of worries that a glamorized view of increased 31 “Owning Up: Empowering mortality can mislead vulnerable, percent for boys Adolescents to Confront Social depressed youth into magical Cruelty, Bullying, and Injustice” thinking about death — namely, and doubled for and founder of Cultures of Dignity, that death isn’t truly final. In “13 a social justice education and Reasons Why,” for example, the girls.” training organization. plot depicts the main character “We’ve been telling kids for postmortem, yet vibrantly alive. years that if you make a mistake on social media, “In reality, you don’t get to see your friends you will never get into college, never get a job, or anything that happens after you die,” Breuner says. “Once you’re dead, you’re gone, and the show [that] your life is over,” Wiseman says. “Especially doesn’t make that point.” with kids who have worked hard for things and Television and movies aside, experts say a more make a ‘mistake,’ I really worry that they truly >>

4 Myths About Suicide MYTH: Asking about suicide puts the idea into kids’ heads. “Simply saying the word ‘suicide’ doesn’t increase a child’s suicide risk. Suicide is on television shows, in pop music and in movies, so kids have heard about it, whether you talk to them about it or not. Like any other big topic, would you rather they discuss it with their friends, or with you?” — Dr. Cora Breuner, Seattle Children’s Hospital MYTH: Mention suicide to a health care provider, and they’ll lock you up. “Not true at all. The vast majority — well over 90 percent — of teens who go to the emergency room for suicidal thoughts aren’t admitted to the hospital.” — CB MYTH: Suicide help lines aren’t anonymous; they’ll use your phone number to track your location and tell your parents, teacher or doctor. “The National Suicide Prevention Line is completely anonymous. So is the Crisis Text Line and its Facebook Messenger inbox. Youth can call in with or without their parents, and it won’t be reported to their parents, teachers, doctor or anyone else.” — Jennifer Barron, Forefront at the University of Washington MYTH: If someone wants to kill themselves, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. “Suicide is rarely about wanting to die. It’s about wanting to escape unbearable pain. Talking about it can make the difference.” — JB

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 13

feature

SUICIDE LIVE continued from page 13

believe they have nothing left to live for.” She points to the suicide of Marcus Wheeler. Arizona State University’s second-ranked crosscountry runner, Wheeler died by suicide in 2015 after losing his full-ride scholarship for smoking pot. In 2016, fellow athlete Mitchell Warnock died on the same campus after losing his pole-vaulting scholarship for drinking. While neither Wheeler nor Warnock specified that these incidents led to their suicides, Wiseman says they’re clear examples of the kind of pressure kids are under. Social media fuels the pressure to be perfect, for both boys and girls, Wiseman adds. In social media’s hyperconnected world, each teen lives in a fishbowl, isolated yet constantly on display. Life’s ups and downs seem magnified, and teens can lose perspective. Plus, social media allows all of this shift in perspective to play out in an environment where teens can be publicly or privately urged toward acts of self-harm, often out of a parent’s view. That means kids can spiral deep into suicidal thoughts, actions and even pacts without parents having a clue, says Barron. Even when parents know their teen is having self-destructive thoughts, they may not know enough until the teen acts on those thoughts Olympia mom Lena* wasn’t a stranger to suicide. Her niece died by suicide five years ago and her 16-year-old son was prone to bouts of depression. He’d mentioned suicide when he was angry, but Lena didn’t think he’d map out a plan to die. Then, in April, she found a noose in her garage just days after her son’s best friend died by suicide. There may have been a pact, Lena says, but she doesn’t know for sure. “My son was angry and depressed, and I was worried, and then his friend died,” she says. “All of their friends have struggled for months. They are depressed; they’re using drugs and alcohol. They have no ambition and they talk about wanting to die before 30.” She’s scared for her son, but feels powerless to help. “We’ve been dealing with the effects [of the suicide] ever since it happened.” She takes her son’s mentions of suicide at face value now. 14 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

What you can do

direct questions will actually prompt a teen to consider suicide, but it’s a myth I hear it all the time,” As cruel as people can be on the internet, the Breuner says. Research shows that the most effective medium also has the power to connect and heal. questions are simple: Are you depressed? Are you According to research published in the “American having as much fun now as you used to? “These Journal of Public Health,” social media can aid are the diagnostic questions practitioners use, and suicide prevention efforts by connecting teens to they’re what’s proven to work well,” Breuner says. help, be it to counselors, resources Use your teen’s answers to guide or other forms of support. The your next steps, she says. If your “Suicide is Crisis Text Line offers free crisis teen tells you they’re depressed counseling via Facebook Messenger or if they show signs of social rarely about and apps like My3 connect suicidal withdrawal, sudden academic youth to support. wanting to trouble, extreme mood swings The best prevention, though, or self-destructive acts, call the die.” is analog: Talk to your teen, says National Suicide Prevention Breuner. The stigma around suicide Line (1-800-273-8255) or your dissipates if you talk about it like pediatrician right away. The bottom line: When any other health issue. Here, too, media can help. your teen mentions suicide, take it seriously. “If your teen is watching ‘13 Reasons,’ watch Though direct communication is best, experts it with them,” she says. “Don’t binge-watch. A like Barron also recommend staying in touch with megadose of a death-themed programming is too your child’s life on social media. Have regular intense to digest in one sitting. Instead, use every conversations about digital citizenship, check episode to start a dialogue. Ask how [the main social posts regularly and restrict smartphone use character] could have reached out for help [and] at night. Some caregivers might consider apps that how the other characters could have handled help track kids’ social media use, such as Limitly, things differently.” PocketGuardian and Bark, particularly for younger Teens may not suffer a long discussion about teens who are just learning to navigate social suicide, so get to the point. Ask direct questions media. For the most part, these tracking apps don’t about your teen’s inner world. “It’s a myth that give caregivers access to what’s been posted, but

Resources you can use Connect with crisis counselors for free and completely anonymously at the resources below. For all immediate threats of selfharm, call 911 or take your child to the ER. • Crisis Text Line: Text 741-741 or use Facebook Messenger (facebook.com/ crisistextline) • National Suicide Prevention Line: 1-800-273-8255 • Lifeline Crisis Chat: crisischat.org • Suicide intervention for LGBTQ teens: thetrevorproject.org • Suicide intervention for trans youth: translifeline.org

*Name has been changed.

To learn about the latest research into suicide, visit: • Forefront at the University of Washington: intheforefront.org • American Association of Suicidology: suicidology.org/ncpys/resources • Suicide, Guns and Public Health, Harvard School of Public Health: hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter • Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide: sptsusa.org (Visit store.samhsa. gov for a suicide prevention toolkit for high schools).

Spot the signs If your teen shows these signs of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Line (1-800-273-8255) or your pediatrician.

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• Talking about suicide • Talking about feelings of hopelessness • Loss of interest in hobbies • Giving away personal belongings • Risky, self-destructive or out-of-character behavior • Preoccupation with death

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voice

Protecting My Suicidal Son

A mother and son figure out what they both need to thrive By Jody Allard

y son is suicidal. I say that now like I say that he is 17 years old, or that he’s tall and handsome, with broad shoulders and an easy laugh. No matter how much I’ve wished it would vanish, his struggle with suicide has become a part of him, like his sense of humor or his love of history. When he wants to die, my son never comes to me. Instead, he texts his friends or his girlfriend. The first time one of his friends texted me and said my son wanted to die, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea. My son is outgoing and social. Everyone who meets him loves him. He was only 14 years old, and I couldn’t conceive of a life cut so short. I took him to counseling and told myself he was better now. The next time that same friend told me my son wanted to die and that this time, he was making plans to kill himself, I took him to the hospital, still convinced it must be a mistake. But when we got there, he sat down in a room devoid of anything you could use to harm yourself — even a garbage can — and calmly told the nurse about his suicidal thoughts. My son was admitted into the psychiatric ward that night. I sat in the parking lot screaming into my steering wheel, and I drove home blinded by tears. I blamed myself for not knowing something was wrong, and I blamed myself for not being the person he confided in. I blamed myself for everything because if it was my fault. I could fix it. I could be a better mother. I could keep him alive. I know better now. I take him to counseling and refill his prescription for antidepressants, but I’ve forced myself to let go of my need to keep him alive. It sounds strange to say that as a mother — perhaps even neglectful. But I’ve had to figure out how to parent a suicidal teenager on my own. No one tells you what to do when your teenager

“

No one tells you what to do when your teenager wants to die.

”

wants to die. The psychiatric hospital staff tells you to lock up your ibuprofen — even though your son says he wants to jump off a tall building and could buy ibuprofen at the corner store. Then they send you home. When you get there, you realize there’s a world of ways to die and none of them are preventable. There’s no one there to console you or help you manage your own fear. It’s easy to let it take over. And I did — for months. Every time I called down the stairs and he didn’t reply, I imagined I’d find him dead. When he began skipping school, I was too scared to ground him. I let him get away with more than I should at home, too. All I could think about was keeping my son alive for another day.

My son’s suicidal thoughts didn’t go away after his first hospitalization. The next time, I found myself pulling into a parking lot to read the frantic texts from his friend. I drove home as fast as I could, and told him to get in the car. I didn’t tell him I was taking him to the psychiatric ward because I knew he wouldn’t want to go. When I finally admitted where we were going, he threatened to jump out of the car. But my heart was beating in time to my fear, and there was no room for negotiation. My decision left scars I never imagined. For months afterward, my son panicked when I asked him to get into the car. He was angry I didn’t directly ask him if he was in crisis before I made >> parentmap.com • November 2017 • 17

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voice Protecting My Suicidal Son continued from page 17 the decision to take him to the hospital, and he was convinced I’d take him to the hospital again if he opened up to me about his feelings. “Why should I talk to you now?” he demanded, and I had no answer. I wanted the best for him, but instead I placed a wedge between us that’s yet to be removed. It’s a small wedge, wrapped in good intentions and a mother’s love, but it’s a wedge nonetheless. When he told me how angry he was at me for taking him to the hospital, I wanted to scream at him that it was the best I could do. I wanted to tell him that his death would destroy me. I wanted to beg him to stay alive for me, even if saying that is toxic and manipulative because his life means more to me than right or wrong. But that’s not what my son needs. So I try harder to create a safe space for him to be

vulnerable. I vow to respect his boundaries by giving him a say in his own treatment, and work harder to regain his trust. I even promise him that I’ll never take him to the hospital without telling him again. He met me halfway and said that if we talk first and I’m still convinced he needs to go to the hospital, he will get in the car — even if he doesn’t want to go, even if he doesn’t believe he needs help. It took six months to learn he was again planning to die by suicide; this time the school nurse told me. I had begun to relax, but I felt the familiar fear rise as she offered me resources to hep. “This isn’t my first rodeo,” I said, before thanking her and hanging up. I thought desperately of the hospital and its promise of safety, but I knew I had to do better by my son. I had to stop inflicting trauma in the name of

saving his life. I waited for him to get home from school, and I met him at the door. “We need to talk,” I said. He told me he wasn’t in crisis, but his medication wasn’t working. We made a safety plan together, and for the first time he was open with me about the depths of his depression. My son didn’t die that day, or any other day since, and he’s begun to trust me again. We went to the doctor together, and he agreed to try a new antidepressant. This one works, he tells me, and I hope the threat of suicide is behind him. But if there is a next time, I will keep my promises. My son needs to live, but he also needs a mother he can trust — even if that means putting his needs ahead of my need to protect him, even if it means letting go of the promise of safety, even if it means holding my breath until the next crisis passes. n Jody Allard is ParentMap’s managing editor.

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SUNDAY

PICKS

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Amazing Animals at the Burke, Nov. 12

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Santa Train at Northwest Railway Museum, Nov. 25–Dec. 17

Toddler Time at the Aquarium. Engage with your tot in fun, marine-themed activities. Nov. 5–7, 12–14; 9:30 a.m.–noon. Included with admission. Ages 5 and under with adult. Seattle Aquarium. seattleaquarium.org Día de los Muertos Community Festival. Create art in the TAM studio, view community altars and a tapete sand painting, get your face painted and more. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE. Tacoma Art Museum. tacomaartmuseum.org

Let’s Play: Little Red Hen. OFT invites little ones to enjoy an excitement-ﬁlled show, just the right length for young attention spans. Nov. 6, 9–11; 10 a.m. $5. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Olympia Family Theater. olyft.org Pajamarama! Evening Story Time. Get cozy in your jammies and bring your favorite stuﬀy to wind down with bedtime stories and songs. Mondays, 6:45–7:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 3–6 with adult. Shoreline Library. kcls.org ONGOING EVENT

Reading with Rover. Kids gain conﬁdence reading aloud to trained therapy dogs. First and third Tuesdays, 6:30–7:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 5–10. Half Price Books, Redmond. readingwithrover.org ONGOING EVENT Reading Buddies. Little kids love to read to big kids. Teen volunteers read with littles. Tuesdays through Nov. 14, 4:30–5:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 4–8. Pierce County Library Gig Harbor and University Place branches. piercecountylibrary.org

Amazing Animals. Touch (or taste!) insects, pet ponies and more at this mash-up of Burke events Bug Blast and Meet the Mammals. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. $7.50–$10; ages 4 and under free; buy timed entry tickets online. Burke Museum, Seattle. burkemuseum.org The Fluﬀy Tale of Adventure. What or who is The Squolf? Find out in this cute play about friendship. Saturday–Sunday through Nov. 12. $12. Ages 5–12 with families (Sunday shows are all ages). Second Story Repertory, Redmond. secondstoryrepertory.org

Lil’ Diggers Playtime. Kids dig digging in the giant indoor sandbox. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, 9:30–11 a.m. or 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. $8. Ages 5 and under with caregiver. Sandbox Sports, Seattle. sandboxsports.net ONGOING EVENT Animal Viewing at Kelsey Creek Farm. Stop by Bellevue’s city-owned farm park to see pigs, ponies, sheep, chickens, rabbits and goats, then play at the playground or wander the trails. Daily 9:30 a.m.–3:30 p.m. FREE. Bellevue. farmerjayne.com ONGOING EVENT

Indoor Playground. Tots play with push buggies, climbers, trikes and more. Tuesday, Thursday, 10 a.m.–1 p.m. $3. Ages 9 months–5 years with caregiver. North Kirkland Community Center. kirklandwa.gov ONGOING EVENT Play to Learn. Kids and caregivers gather for community play and circle time. Tuesdays, 10–11:30 a.m.; additional weekly times and locations. FREE. Ages 6 and under with caregiver. Charles Wright Academy and Puyallup Public Library. playtacoma.org ONGOING EVENT

Veterans Day Parade, Auburn, Nov. 11

Piper’s Creek Salmon Celebration. Welcome chum and coho salmon back to the creek and mark the occasion with kids’ activities, music and more. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. FREE. Carkeek Park, Seattle. govlink.org/ watersheds Fantasy Lights Walk. Take in the amazing light displays by foot, the only chance to walk, not drive, through the park. 5–8 p.m. $4 per person. Early bird discount available online. Spanaway Park, Tacoma. co.pierce.wa.us

Hoppy Hour. Bounce time for energetic kids to get the rainy day (or any day) wiggles out. Monday–Friday, 10 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $6–$9. Ages 1–8. Elevated Sportz Trampoline Park, Bothell. elevatedsportz.com ONGOING EVENT Kitty Literature. Kids practice reading skills with a supportive audience of shelter cats; sign up for a 20-minute session. Monday–Friday, times vary. FREE; preregister. Ages 5–10. Seattle Humane, Bellevue. seattlehumane.org ONGOING EVENT

Kitty Literature at Seattle Humane, Monday–Friday, select times

Santa Train. Ride a vintage train to visit Santa and have a treat. Select dates Nov. 25–Dec. 17; special departure for families with special needs on Nov. 26. $24; under age 2 free. Northwest Railway Museum North Bend Depot. trainmuseum.org ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Start oﬀ the season right with this delightful holiday show ﬁlled with good cheer and Christmas carols. Friday–Sunday, Nov. 24– Dec. 3. $10–$15. All ages. Bellevue Youth Theatre. parks.bellevuewa.gov

Providence O’Christmas Trees Christmas Carnival. View the gorgeous trees and rock out to Caspar Babypants and other performers. 3–7 p.m. FREE. The Westin Seattle. washington.providence.org Zoolights. Revel in the dazzling light creations — hammerhead sharks, a polar bear family and more. Nov. 24–Jan. 1, 5–9 p.m. (closed Dec. 24). $8.50–$10; ages 2 and under free. Point Deﬁance Zoo & Aquarium, Tacoma. pdza.org/zoolights

OmTots Play Gym. Bounce around, swing from the ceiling and play like monkey. Monday–Friday, 9:30 a.m.–noon. $14; discounts available. Ages 1–5 with caregiver. OmCulture, Seattle. omculture.com ONGOING EVENT Garden d’Lights. Plant and critter shapes created from over half a million lights sparkle and amaze. Daily, Nov. 25–Dec. 31, 4:30–9 p.m. $5; ages 10 and under free; check online for select free admission nights. Bellevue Botanical Garden. gardendlights.org

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Toddler Gym. Toddler play times and tot gym times are now FREE at Seattle’s neighborhood community centers. Monday– Saturday, various times. Ages 5 and under with caregiver. Seattle. seattle.gov/parks ONGOING EVENT Tool Time Tuesday. Get busy with tools, hammering a nail or sawing a board. Tuesdays, 3–4 p.m. Included with admission. KidsQuest Children’s Museum, Bellevue. kidsquestmuseum.org ONGOING EVENT

WEDNESDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

Seattle MathFest. Celebrate math and its awesomeness with carnival-like games and prizes for kids and families. 5–7:30 p.m. FREE; preregister. Ages 3–11 with families. Rainier Community Center, Seattle. zenomath.org What the Griot Said. All are welcome to hear the enchanting tales the Griot (storyteller) tells. Noon. FREE. Northwest African American Museum, Seattle. naamnw.org

FREE Friday Night at HOCM. This Friday is ﬁlled with fall fun, crafts and autumn-inspired activities at Hands On Children’s Museum. 5–9 p.m. Ages 10 and under with families. Olympia. hocm.org Family Bingo Night. Bring your family and your own marker or dauber and get in on some bingo fun with great prizes. 6:30–9:30 p.m. $5 includes 6 bingo sheets; ages 3 and under free; preregister. All ages. Meridian Habitat Park, Puyallup. piercecountywa.org

Totally Kids Only Race. Let the kids loose to run around the lake! One- and two-mile course options. Parents are welcome to run, but not required as the course is supervised. 9–10:30 a.m. Ages 14 and under. Wapato Park, Tacoma. metroparkstacoma.org The Pied Piper of Hamelin. Last weekend to see this classic story with a heartwarming message. Friday–Sunday through Nov. 5. $10–$15. All ages. Bellevue Youth Theatre. parks.bellevuewa.gov

Storybook Corner. Cozy up for story time and nurture a love of books in kids. Wednesdays, 10:30–11 a.m. FREE. Ages 1–5 with adult. Island Books, Mercer Island. mercerislandbooks.com ONGOING EVENT Play Coach at Imagine Children’s Museum. Enjoy exciting activities led by the museum’s own Play Coach. Wednesdays, 12:30–1:30 p.m.; Sundays, 2–3 p.m. Included with admission. Ages 1–12 with families. Everett. imaginecm.org ONGOING EVENT

Tugboat Story Time. Cozy up on a real tugboat for stories of the sea. Second and fourth Thursdays, 11 a.m. FREE. Ages 1–8 with caregiver. Center for Wooden Boats, Seattle. cwb.org ONGOING EVENT Critter Club. Enjoy animal stories, handson exploration and a real-live surprise. Nov. 9–10, 30; 11 a.m. $13–$15; preregister. Ages 3–5 with adult. Point Deﬁance Zoo & Aquarium, Tacoma. pdza.org

Tots Welcoming Shabbat. All are welcome to share singing, prayer, challah and juice in a joyful environment. Fridays, 11:15 a.m.–noon. FREE. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Temple B’Nai Torah, Bellevue. templebnaitorah.org ONGOING EVENT Veteran Appreciation Days. Point Deﬁance Zoo & Aquarium and Northwest Trek oﬀer free admission to active-duty military and veterans, and half-price for their immediate families. Friday–Sunday, Nov. 10–12. Tacoma, Eatonville. pdza.org, nwtrek.org

Baby Gym. You and your baby explore with coach guidance at this FREE drop-in group class. Wednesday, 9:30–10 a.m. Ages 4–12 months with caregiver. Advantage Gymnastics Academy, Woodinville. advantagegym.com ONGOING EVENT Kidz Bounce Drop-In Time. Grown-ups get a breather while the little ones get their workout. Tuesday–Thursday, 9:30–11 a.m. or 12:30–2 p.m.; Thursday, 5–6:30 p.m. $8. Ages 2–10. Kidz Bounce, Preston. kidzbounce.com ONGOING EVENT

Family Nature Class. Explore learning stations about nocturnal animals and get outside for a short hike. Thursday–Saturday, 9:30–11:30 a.m. $19 per adult/child pair; preregister. Ages 2–5 with caregiver. Washington Park Arboretum, Seattle. botanicgardens.uw.edu Kaleidoscope Play and Learn. Meet and play with other families. Thursday, 10:30–noon. FREE. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Third Place Commons, Lake Forest Park. thirdplacecommons.org ONGOING EVENT

Mercer Slough Night Walk. Learn all about nocturnal animals in the lab, then head out for a guided night walk. 7–9 p.m. $15; preregister. Ages 6 and up with adult. Mercer Slough Environmental Education Center Center, Bellevue. paciﬁcsciencecenter.org FREE Admission Night at Imagine. Let oﬀ steam for FREE at this popular museum. 5:30–9 p.m. Ages 1–12 with families. Imagine Children’s Museum, Everett. imaginecm.org

Yulefest. Partake in Scandinavian Christmas traditions with music, tasty treats, craft marketplace and Santa. $5; ages 12 and under free. Saturday–Sunday, Nov. 18–19. Nordic Heritage Museum, Seattle. nordicmuseum.org Disney’s Newsies. Enjoy this Tony Award-winning musical romp about the newsboy strike of 1899. Nov. 9–Dec. 31. Two performances today: 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. $37–$82. Ages 8 and up. Village Theatre, Issaquah. villagetheatre.org

Swansons Reindeer Festival. Meet real-live reindeer and their camel buddy, Curley; plus check out the train display and snap a photo in the sleigh. Daily, Nov. 11– Dec. 24. FREE. Swansons Nursery, Seattle. swansonsnursery.com The Polar Express Train Ride. Bundle up for a charming trip to the North Pole and a visit with Santa. Select dates Nov. 17–Dec. 31. $22–$73; age 1 and under free. Mt. Rainier Railroad and Logging Museum, Elbe. mtrainierrailroad.com

Seattle Turkey Trot. Join your community for a scenic 5K jaunt that finishes at Golden Gardens and benefits the Ballard Food Bank. 9 a.m. $15–$40. Golden Gardens, Seattle. seattleturkeytrot.org Norpoint Turkey Trot. Move your body before stuffing your belly; try the 5K run, 2-mile run/walk or kids’ trot. 9 a.m. $15–$35. Center at Norpoint, Tacoma. metroparkstacoma.org

Youth Appreciation and Water Safety Day. Dive in to enjoy swimming, water safety demos and more. 12:30–2:30 p.m. $7; ages 12 and under free. Bellevue Aquatic Center. bellevuewa.gov Hook. Follow Peter’s return to Neverland as an adult — to save the day — in this Spielberg classic. Free inﬂatable swords while supplies last. Nov. 24–26. Price TBD. Rated PG. SIFF Film Center, Seattle. siﬀ.net

Greet the Season. Celebrate the season with music, dance, crafts and more; bring new socks to donate to a homeless shelter and get $2 oﬀ admission to MOHAI. 10 a.m.–5 p.m. FREE. Lake Union Park, Seattle. mohai.org Holiday Tree Lighting. Gather with the community for this traditional welcome of the season; get tickets to see Cirquetacular’s “Snowkus Pocus” beforehand. 5 p.m. 9th and Broadway, Tacoma. broadwaycenter.org

Ballard Church Indoor Play. Neighborhood church opens its doors for families with tots to play out of the rain. Tuesday– Thursday, 10:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 0–8 with adult. Ballard Church, Seattle. ballardchurch.com ONGOING EVENT Low-sensory Evening. KidsQuest invites kids to play with a bit less noise and light, and fewer other guests. 5:30–7:30 p.m. FREE; preregister. Ages 1–10 with families. KidsQuest Children’s Museum, Bellevue. kidsquestmuseum.org

Wild Wednesday. Free admission to this indoor playground last Wednesday of the month with two-item per person food bank donation. 9 a.m.–8 p.m. Ages 1–12 with adult. PlayDate SEA, Seattle. playdatesea.com Bellevue’s Magic Season Ice Arena. Get your glide on at this seasonal, covered ice arena. Nov. 24–Jan. 15. $10–$14 includes skate rental. Bellevue Downtown Park. bellevuedowntown.com

Winterfest. Marvel at the massive model train display (control trains during special hours with $2 suggested donation) and enjoy the seasonal skating rink. Performances on select dates. Nov. 24–Jan. 7. Train viewing FREE; skating requires fee. Seattle Center. seattlecenter.com Snowﬂake Lane. It’s a nightly holiday parade with lights, drummers, dancers and more. Daily, Nov. 24–Dec. 24, 7 p.m. FREE. Bellevue Way and N.E. 8th St., Bellevue. snowﬂakelane.com

SWANSONS NURSERY

THURSDAY

Swansons Reindeer Festival, Nov. 11–Dec. 24

Veterans Day Parade. Honor our country’s veterans and active-duty military at this annual Auburn parade, one of the largest in the U.S. 11 a.m. FREE. Auburn. auburnwa.gov FREE Entrance to National and State Parks. Enjoy our national parks FREE Nov. 11–12, and state parks FREE (no Discover Pass required) Nov. 11 and 24. nps.gov, discoverpass.wa.gov

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IMAGE COURTESY FURREALFRIENDS.COM

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Remember those little battery-powered dogs that barked and sat? Well, animatronic toys have gotten a tech makeover thanks to FurReal Friends. These responsive toy animals — from kittens to monkeys to unicorns — can eat, poop, walk on a leash, bark, blink, sneeze and so much more. Many are activated by hand, but some of the fancier ones are controlled by apps.

Feel like you’re flying thanks to The Museum of Flight. Three flight simulators offer a 360-degree view. The Premium i360 Flight Simulator immerses you in pilot-gunner air combat (children shorter than 48 inches must be accompanied by an adult). The 4D-X Simulator Ride for groups mimics life as a pilot with aerial maneuvers and simulated combat (must be 38 inches tall to ride). And the Junior Voyager Simulator lets kids explore the skies with a joystick, stereo sound, widescreen monitor and flashing lights. Qmod Energy Kit • $87

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Toys, shows, and the search for something greater gift guide SEATTLE DECEMBER 2015

GIVE THEM A GIFT THEY’LL ENJOY EVERY MONTH!

FULL PLATE WITH THE STOWELLS A foodie family’s musthave kitchen gear! 19

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How to keep the holidays calm and peaceful 51

BUILD AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE Tips to teach your kids real thankfulness 55

MEET A REAL JEDI MASTER Someone you should know 62

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continued from page 25 Augie • $200

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My kids have been begging for Sphero’s robot racer Ollie ever since they saw one at a friend’s house. This Bluetoothconnected, app-controlled robot goes up to 14 miles per hour and can make sharp turns and drift like a race car. Powered by a USB charger, Ollie glows in millions of colors, making it all the more enticing. (And if your family prefers good oldfashioned remote control, Sphero has a Lightning McQueen toy you might want to check out.)

AGES 13–18 Crunchyroll • $7 monthly

Crunchyroll is one of the few legal and official anime streaming sites in the U.S. (just try finding the latest anime on Netflix). Plus, it shares revenue with its Japanese partners, which means subscribing supports the creators of those anime shows your teens love so dearly. Episodes go online as soon as an hour after they air in Japan; you can also download the latest manga chapters as soon as they are published. Subtitling allows your teen to be a true otaku rather than a weeb, but if dub is the order of the day, subscribe to Funimation instead. >>

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continued from page 26 GeekFuel subscription box • $25 monthly

This monthly subscription box offers at least $40 worth of geeky mystery items for the low cost of $25 a month. Boxes can include a variety of treasures, such as T-shirts, figurines, coveted enamel pins and downloadable games. Vintage game consoles • $5 and up

Try a retro game with simple graphics to change up your teen’s gaming (we’re sure they’ll love it!). Sure, you can dig up a Commodore 64 or other old PC, but there’s a certain nerdy beauty to finding an old-school game console that’s as inefficient as it fun. This gift becomes a whole family affair with the subsequent quest for game cartridges that actually work! Ultimate Ears Wireless Speaker • $100

No matter the era, kids want their music and they want it loud. Try the modern-day boombox, aka a cell-phone-controlled Bluetooth wireless speaker. Good sound quality is a given, but the ones by Ultimate Ears are small enough to carry. They’re also waterproof, and have a battery charge that lasts for 10 hours. Look for a variety of colors and get even more stylish with its (higher-priced) Street Collection’s floral and graphic designs. Splatoon 2 and Persona 5 • $60

Kids think you’re totally not cool with video games? Wow ’em with Splatoon 2 for Nintendo Switch. Players transform into squids and win territory by coating it with ink (think paintball but with more tentacles). This game, rated E for everyone, is a happy compromise for the kid who wants a shooter game and the parent who’d prefer to skip the violence. If you’re looking for something a little more sophisticated, try Persona 5 for PS4 (rated M for mature). It’s a Japanese game about high school vigilantes with psychic powers. Dungeon crawls with turn-based combat alternate with high school time management and social network building for a really good time. n Gemma Alexander is a Seattle-based freelance writer with two daughters. She blogs about books and travel, and spends too much time on Twitter (@gemmadeetweet).

IMAGE COURTESY PERSONA 5

WE’RE FOR WHAT YOU’RE FOR: YOUR CHILD

gift guide

S C H O O L S A Teacher’s Advice on How to Talk to Your Kid’s Teacher

PRESCHOOL – 8TH GRADE

Chances are good you’ll need to have at least one constructive conversation with your child’s teacher this school year. As a teacher, I highly recommend using chocolate (it’s the answer to everything) but keep these suggestions for strong communication handy, too. (Do be sure to give them lots of chocolate, though.) BE EFFICIENT: Everyone’s busy. When they are not basking in the glorious stretch of summer vacation months, teachers are typically slammed with lesson planning and paperwork even once the teaching day is done. Good teachers will value parental insight and academic reinforcement; however, they’ll always prefer a scheduled quick, 10-minute chat to a lingering “hallway conference.” Even better: a short, solution-oriented email. KNOW HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH: Work with your child’s school in a professional manner, but be as tenacious as a badger! Never rest until your child’s needs are being met! Ideally, after a smooth start, communication will flow effortlessly. Regardless, make sure to get updates on your child’s progress every six weeks. These check-ins will allow you to adjust that much appreciated home reinforcement. You’ve got to know what your child is working on to know how to support at home GET A TEMPLATE FOR THAT EMAIL you want to send: parentmap. com/teacher-advice

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‘The Talk Talk’! ’! A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up

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S C H O O L S

P R E S C H O O L S

4 Surefire Indoor Play Ideas From a Preschool Teacher

Northwest kids are used to gearing up to go outside: hats, jackets, rain boots and gloves. But sometimes, staying inside is the only option, and you need a quick game plan for fun. Here’s my grab bag of easy kids’ activities I’ve gathered from teaching in Seattle. Any of them can also be the centerpiece for a preschool birthday party. Toys, technology and rules not required. Just add imagination! FREEZE DANCE: A classic! All you need is music, and the only guideline is to freeze when the music is paused. SCAVENGER HUNT: Take any theme, such as patterns, letters, or colors and hunt around the house. Make it official with a clipboard and check off items as you go. HOMEMADE COLLAGE WITH REUSABLE MATERIALS: Simply provide a few items that can be rearranged again and again. Arrange them on a tray or placemat to make patterns, designs and objects. Since the materials are reusable, take a picture to commemorate each creation. COOKING: When you have some extra time, make up an easy, handson cooking project for your next snack or meal. For children, cooking can mean sensory exploration, logical ordering and confidence boosting. Learn how this mom handled it: parentmap.com/preschool-play

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Yes, You Can Take Your Kids Volunteering How to finally make it happen this holiday season By Nancy Schatz Alton

very holiday season, we’re reminded of the importance of volunteering, but we don’t need seasonal reminders to realize people are in need. Take our area’s biggest city. You can’t go a block in Seattle without seeing someone without a home (a reality reflected in the startlingly statistic that the number of people living on the streets in King County has jumped 21 percent since last year). While we can — and should — talk with our children about what that statistic means, a whole new level of learning happens when families volunteer together to help those in need. Christine Craig of North Seattle recalls her 6-year-old daughter’s reaction to volunteering at Wellspring Family Services. “She said, ‘I thought we were helping homeless people. They look just like us,’” says Craig. Suddenly, Craig’s kids knew homelessness didn’t fit inside a stereotype. “To realize a homeless person could be anyone and not just a person they saw panhandling on the corner drove home the lesson that you need to be kind to everyone at school, because you can’t tell what’s going on in their lives,” says Craig, who started volunteering with her four children when they were preschoolers. Creating such learning experiences is just one of many reasons family volunteering is beneficial, but how to do it? Here are the whys and hows of volunteering together — whether it’s addressing our area’s critical problem with housing or supporting our community in others ways this holiday season.

Why it’s worth it While our instincts often tell us to shield our kids, volunteering helps kids deal with the world and its problems. After volunteering to help the homeless, one of Craig’s kids became worried that their family would lose their home. But it wasn’t the volunteering that caused that

concern; rather, volunteering allowed that concern to surface, says parenting expert Sarina Behar Natkin. Children are thinking thoughts like this all the time, but don’t know it’s okay to say them aloud until they’re presented with opportunities to talk, she says. Volunteering creates such an opportunity, says Rachel Murray, volunteer engagement manager at United Way of King County. “[It allows] dialogue with family members about the community they live in, the issues the community faces and the great work that is going

on to work towards solving those issues,” Murray says. It’s also a tangible way to build a sense of compassion and empathy for those less fortunate than ourselves, she adds. Doing good is also a huge boost for young kids struggling with behavior issues. “The added responsibility and the act of volunteering give a child the sense that ‘I matter,’” says Natkin. “When we feel connected to something, we’re more cooperative.” Volunteering as a unit also strengthens family bonds. “Getting outside of ourselves and our individual problems and doing this as a family builds cooperation, collaboration and connection,” says Natkin. Her own family’s best family meeting happened after volunteering together, she notes.

How to make it happen If you want a recipe for disaster, go from zero volunteering to four hours every Saturday without getting your kids’ buy-in and not prepping them beforehand. “I’ve had parents bring their kids in, saying they forgot to tell them what they’re doing today. That is a hard sell,” says Nichelle Hilton, community resource coordinator at YWCA Seattle-King-Snohomish. The first tip for success: Start small. Perhaps build a care kit at home. This small care package often includes practical items that will be of use to someone without a regular home. Online, you’ll find plenty of ideas about what to include in the package; socks, snacks, and hotel-size shampoos and soaps are popular items. Families can also ask nonprofits what the organizations would like in a care kit. >> EDITOR’S NOTE: Join ParentMap on a yearlong conversation to explore how families and schools can nurture empathy, mindfulness and kindness. parentmap.com/raisingkind Sponsored by the Community of Mindful Parenting

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parentmap.com • November 2017 • 33

ages + stages AGES 2–6 Volunteering continued from page 33 direct impact, Murray says. That While you can make a care kit at was the case for Seattle mom Jen home to donate to a local nonprofit, organizations, including United Way, Bergman. Her 7-year-old son, offer one-time events where families Jake, loves handing out food at the assemble care kits while organizers Georgetown Food Bank because, discuss social justice issues. (Many he tells Bergman, “everyone likes local nonprofits are also open what I give them, and it makes to discussing specific ideas for them happy.” individual families, For Craig, too; for the YWCA, as her children Hilton welcomes have grown, she’s emails at nhilton@ been pleasantly ywcaworks.org.) surprised by the When choosing If your family meaning they’ve a volunteering wants to volunteer found through outside of the home, volunteering. opportunity, find family-friendly Without any opportunities that remember that prompting, her fit your child’s 15-year-old began kids often prefer age. Two websites volunteering that will help are with the Pike experiences GenerationOn, Place Market that show direct a resource that Foundation’s Food includes project Access Program impact. ideas and reflection this summer, guides, and Doing and her 17-yearGood Together, a old regularly national nonprofit volunteers with whose goal is to both a suicide make volunteering and service prevention program and King easy for families. County’s Youth Justice restorative Locally, families can find a justice program. variety of kid-specific options, Starting to volunteer at a young such as serving meals at Compass age helps positively shape a child’s Housing Alliance and Operation worldview, notes Bergman. “[It Sack Lunch or volunteering changes] who they interact with with the Jewish Family Service and how they interact,” she says. of Seattle. During the holiday “It makes a difference in how they season, several King County see the world.” nonprofits, including YWCA, And that’s a lesson that will last Wellspring, Bellevue LifeSpring, long past the holidays. n Hopelink and Treehouse, accept Freelance writer and editor Nancy gifts for families in need through Schatz Alton says volunteering with the community-wide Adopt-aFamily program. her family reminds her of why she When choosing a volunteering loved volunteering as a teenager. opportunity, remember that kids Yes, she did win her high school’s often prefer experiences that show volunteer service award.

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S C H O O L S

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parentmap.com • November 2017 • 35

3 Seasonal Crafts Kids Will Love

Celebrate the season with these creative ideas that’ll keep your little explorers busy for hours. Bonus: Their handiwork might make for the perfect seasonal decoration! SUPREME SUNFLOWERS: All of your garden’s flowers may have come to an end for the year, but these sunshine-y beauties will last all season long! Use newspaper, coffee filters, tempura paint, thin cardboard, felt, poppy seeds and twigs for a fantastic eco-friendly bouquet that’ll bring in the sun. CRITTER CUTENESS: We love these little pine cone hedgehogs. Made using pine cones found in the backyard and polymer clay, they also have black beads for eyes, powder blush for a little bit of cheek color and details on their feet and faces from a little bit of handy toothpick work. SCIENTIFIC RAINBOW ART: A great project for rainy days that are typically spent inside, you’ll only need to have some bleeding tissue paper pieces, regular paper and glue on hand to recreate your own rain-blurred rainbow. Once your rainbow is constructed and dried, simply set it outside and let the raindrops do their work. Get 15 more ideas at parentmap.com/fall-crafts — Jen Betterley

Attend a free Parent Info Night, 7 pm the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of every month.

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Toys, shows, and the search for something greater OUR BIG HOLIDAY ARTS GUIDE

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gift guide

Old-school gifts they’ll love 14 TEENS AND ONLINE PRIVACY

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36 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

rad retro toys

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Star Wars, STEM and old-school gifts 24 GOT A BLENDED OR STEPFAMILY?

How to keep the holidays calm and peaceful 51

JAN 18

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Leap

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After School • Weekends • Camps 10/16/17 2:56 PM

After school programs where K-12 can learn and have fun!

• Creative Problem-Solving • Design Thinking by Stanford • Arts First • Lego WeDo Month • Programming $50 Off! • Robotics • Math/Writing Tutoring • Homework Help/Test prep • Mandarin 13635 NE 8th St. Suite 104 Bellevue, 98005 mindsmining.com 425-209-4117

Engage your K-12 student with ProjectFUN Homeschool, Afterschool, or Weekend Workshops.

They may list their toys or other possessions. That’s okay! Don’t be dismissive. Creature comforts are important, too.

M ake it a habit.

Try naming things you’re grateful for during an already established routine, like at mealtime or bedtime. Or try it when you’re driving the kids somewhere.

Keep a journal.

Learn Lear Le arn n ab abou about outt ou ourr KK K-12 12 p programs rogr ro gram amss at at::

Learn more at: projectfun.digipen.edu

Unleash Creativity Build Conﬁdence & Passion

alk about something T kind that you did for someone.

Makes a great gift!

cityvacandsew.com/ classes.htm

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Then explain why that particular act mattered to you.

This may feel like bragging, but you’re trying to give your kids ideas about how they can help others.

After school • Homeschool Summer camps

Ages 8 and up Shoreline

Teach Your Child Gratitude

Tell your kids about something nice that someone did for you.

Group Sewing Lessons

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Ways to

Have this within easy reach and encourage the whole family to write in it. Read it at the end of the year or during a rough patch. — Jessica Graham

Brought to you by:

The Community of Mindful Parenting aspires to empower parents to become more effective, mindful and compassionate. We are comprised of expectant moms, parents, grandparents, extended families and friends with the goal to nurture powerful relationships between parents and their children. Visit communityofmindfulparenting.com

parentmap.com • November 2017 • 37

someone you should know

Lisa Hallett

How this Dupont military mom channeled her grief

Meet more heroes: parentmap.com /sysk

By Maegen Blue • Photograph by Will Austin

isa Hallett is on the run — literally. On the day we met, Hallett was busy shuttling her three kids to camps, fielding emails as the executive director of a nonprofit she cofounded and training for her next race, an Ironman Triathlon in Arizona. It’s a daunting schedule, but for Hallett, it’s a familiar and comforting routine. Hallett turned to running after her husband, Army Capt. John Hallett, was killed in action in Afghanistan in 2009. “My world was upside-down,” says Hallett of that time. She learned of her husband’s death with her 3-week-old baby on her hip — a baby John never got to meet. Hallett had long used running as a way to cope with her husband’s deployments and the family’s frequent moves, but following his death, she found new solace in the activity. She recalls a run she took with friend Erin O’Connor through their Dupont neighborhood in the days immediately following the news. Soon, others joined them in a show of support. Eventually, in the parking lot of a nearby Burger King, her nonprofit was born. What is it about running that you think helps a family dealing with absence or grief? When you’re training for a run, you have this purpose to move forward — literally and figuratively. The first time we met, we didn’t know what this looked like, where we were going or what we were doing, but we just knew we had to do [it] … and we [ran] around the airfield. And then the following week, we said, “We should say their names,” and so we started to say the names of the men and women who had been killed so far in that deployment. It all felt very out of our control, but when we gathered on those weekly runs, it was something we could control, and even if it was only for that moment, it was something we could do. We could keep their stories alive in our steps, and we could grow stronger in the experience — literally and figuratively — as we tackled each of those runs. Everyone has a place in this community. There are days we give strength and days we receive strength. What are you looking forward to right now? I’m really excited about the second year of our Gold Star Youth Mentorship Program, which is in partnership with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southwest Washington, through the support of USO Jermaine Kearse 15 to 1 Programs. [ This local foundation was started by former Seattle Seahawk Jermaine Kearse to support children in military families.] [In the Gold Star Youth Mentorship Program,] each child is

38 • November 2017 • parentmap.com

Wear blue: run to remember has four chapters around the country and 45 regular meetups; Hallett and O’Connor officially founded it together in 2009. Each chapter hosts a weekly run where participants gather in a circle and say the names of those for whom they run. That mission of remembrance carries over to wear blue: run to remember events. Runners honor fallen service members during the “wear blue Mile,” a mile of the course along which supporters wave American flags in front of large posters showing the photo of a fallen service member. (Wear blue members don’t have to be connected to the military; all are welcome to participate, Hallett says.) The goal? Create “a living memorial for our country’s fallen military members” and, in doing so, support the families left behind by getting them moving in a new direction. n

Maegen Blue is the editor of “Sounds Fun Mom” (soundsfunmom.com), a blog for South Sound families. She lives in Puyallup with her husband and two boys. matched with an active-duty service member who has been screened by the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization. Then, they train for a race together. It’s just wonderful for these children who have sacrificed so much to get to have this relationship and something just for them. Many of our Gold Star children [had] parents who passed away before they really had a chance to be exposed to a life of service and to really know their parents. For example, my husband, John, was killed three weeks after Heidi was born, so she never really got to know her daddy and she never got to be a military kid. In this program, we’ve been able to illuminate John’s life by illuminating a life of service.

You and your husband grew up together in California. Why did you choose to make the Northwest your home? We have always had tremendous community support [in the Northwest]. I have a neighbor who brought my garbage cans up — not for days or weeks, but for years. I finally had to tell him the kids were old enough to do it. I like that this is a part of the country where we can live the social ideals we value; we’re also a very active family, so I love that we can hike or get outside whenever we have time. Are all wear blue runners athletes? Can anyone join in? Athletes or future athletes! We run in Dupont every Saturday. Come join us!

December 8-10, 2017 at the Cascade Mall in Burlington, WA

 3 days of FREE indoor & outdoor

activities for the whole family!  Special activities featured every day  Play outside in snow from Mt. Baker,

build a snowman, learn about skiing, snowboarding & snow mobiles, try snow shoeing, meet reindeer, take a wagon ride and much more!

 Warm up indoors with carnival games,

gingerbread building, Frozen singalong, caroling & winter themed activities with community partners!  Hotel package information for

Winter Wonderland coming soon!  Restaurants, shopping, movies and

more to see and do!

To learn more call 360.757.8888 or visit

SkagitChildrensMuseum.net

Funding provided by lodging tax grant funds

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The Children’s Museum of Skagit County has 11, 000 sq ft of interactive exhibit space inside the Cascade Mall in Burlington, WA and is open 360 days a year! CMSC is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

parentmap.com • November 2017 10/13/17 12:25 PM• 39