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C O N T EN TS

NOVEMBER 2020, VOL. 17, NO. 10

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Alayne Sulkin

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Parenting

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IT STARTS WITH YOU(TH)

Growing Gratitude 10 How cultivating a habit of appreciation transforms our kids’ health and relationships

Meet Kathryn Lau and Anya Shukla Dynamic duo founds mentorship org to pair adult and teen artists of color WELLNESS

Welcoming a Newborn During the ‘New Normal’ What to know about giving birth during the pandemic Why You Should Try Gameschooling This popular trend is gaining steam among virtual learning families 6 Fun Rainy-Day Art Projects for Kids Cabin fever got you climbing the walls?

Plan a lazy “crafternoon” VR for Education, Exercise and Entertainment Inexpensive ways for families to explore virtual reality tech for fun and fitness

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Meet Giacomo Bono, Ph.D. This expert on child development wrote the book on ‘making grateful kids’

Beyond Saying ‘Thank You’ 15 Easy ideas for making thankfulness an everyday family practice

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PARENT ING

It Starts With You(th)

Meet Kathryn Lau and Anya Shukla This dynamic duo cofounded a mentorship org to promote diversity in the arts for teens of color

By Patty Lindley Lakeside School seniors Anya Shukla and Kathryn Lau (both 17) are founding members of The Colorization Collective (colorizationcollective.org), a youth-run organization that aims to promote diversity in the arts by supporting teen artists of color through mentorship programs and original content production. We caught up with the pair to learn more about what inspires them as artists, what motivates their advocacy work and what fuels their mission.

You are both artists in your own right. What forms does your artistic expression take?

Anya: I dabble in a lot of different art forms. But currently I think I’m most comfortable as a writer and a singer. I do enjoy visual art and I also enjoy dancing around to music in my bedroom.

Kathryn: I do a lot of performance arts.

Anya and I both started off as ballet dancers. Following that, I dabbled around in a lot more different styles of dance. Since then I’ve also started doing more singing and acting. I also use a Bullet Journal [bulletjournal.com], so I do doodles and small sketches on the side.

What is the mission of The Colorization Collective? What outcomes do you envision?

Anya: In terms of a mission, I think it is broadly to support teen artists of color or teens of color, providing them with resources and with peers and mentors in a community of people who look like them and who share their experiences. In doing so, we really hope that teens of color will

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L to R: Anya Shukla and Kathryn Lau

feel that the arts are something they can participate in and potentially even have a career in. Hopefully, we can help to eliminate or ameliorate that pipeline problem of teens dropping out of the arts; and also, of having a lack of representation in the arts world.

Kathryn: The outcome is just more joy for everyone.

What are your current programs?

Anya: I think the biggest project that we’re working on right now is our mentorship program. We’re pairing 15 teens with three adult artists of color, and they’re doing online workshops every Saturday for five weeks. We’re co-producing this opportunity with TeenTix [teentix.org]. At the end, they will perform their work at the Teeny Awards in late November [Nov. 21–22; teentix.org/teeny-awards].

Beyond that, we’re also doing social media and blog features. We’re trying to bring back our “Refocus” web series in a socially

distanced way. I think the last thing would be probably that we’re looking to start more of a grassroots movement [to found] chapters of The Colorization Collective in different communities so that we can expand to different cities across the United States and around the world.

What qualities do you think are fundamental to being a successful mentor?

Anya: I’ve been part of the youth board at TeenTix for the past four years. So, I have a close relationship with Monique Courcy, their executive director. And then also Mariko [Nagashimi], the lead of the teen writing program. Both of them have definitely mentored me in a way that I think is really central to TeenTix’s whole mission and the idea that the teen voice is incredibly important; no matter your age, you have ideas that are valid and beliefs that should be heard.

Kathryn: I think there’s definitely been a lot of really strong adult figures in my life

thus far. The first person who comes to mind when I think mentor is the first drama teacher I ever worked with. She was the one who really got me into acting and just having fun on stage. Which carries through to singing, dancing, everything. She was my teacher from K through fifth grade. We’re still in touch — she recently retired. Her main thing was just to have fun and find what makes you, you. But also continue to have faith in humanity, and know that you bring something really unique to every table. Bring that, and get as much joy as you can out of that work.

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How would you encourage another young person to take action on their ideals and aspirations?

Anya: Break things down into small goals. … Then slowly expand from setting those small goals, reaching them and continuing from there to achieve a larger mission.

Kathryn: I think it’s really important to take time to just step back and feel accomplished, and to have the same level of pride in smaller things as you do in the big milestones. Be self-aware throughout the process of creating change or doing things — and savor it, because time flies.

What about a parent’s influence in supporting their child in feeling capable and competent to take action?

Anya: I think in terms of a parent’s role, just encourage your child to explore the interests that seem important to them. And also encourage them to try new things and explore a depth and breadth of opportunities.

Kathryn: Yeah, just like Anya said, be supportive of your child and allow them to explore. But also know that they’re going to come at things differently than from your perspective. Listen actively to what the other is saying and then find ways to make that happen in a realm of feasibility that is possible for each family, because it’s going to be different for every situation. Respect their space and allow them to find themselves before someone or something else defines it for them.

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PARENT ING

Wellness Welcoming a Newborn During the ‘New Normal’ What to know about giving birth during the pandemic

By Malia Jacobson While childbirth during COVID-19 means dealing with things like masks, tests and visitor restrictions, it may also offer an unexpected perk or two. Just ask firsttime parents Stephán and Cheyenne Gray of Bothell, who welcomed their daughter, Octavia, this September at Overlake Medical Center in Bellevue.

“This is our first birth, so we didn’t have anything to compare it to,” says Cheyenne.

“But everyone worked hard to accommodate us and make everything seem as normal as possible.”

Hospital policies for safety during COVID-19 continue to flex as recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention evolve, notes Julie Crews, R.N., nurse manager of Overlake’s Mother & Baby Unit.

“But especially for a new parent having their first baby during COVID, none of the changes will seem too out of the ordinary.”

By early spring 2021, Overlake’s Mother & Baby Unit will feature upsized childbirth and recovery rooms — some nearly 90 percent larger — along with new features for parents and infants in need of special care, including an antepartum unit, additional NICU beds and rooms designed to accommodate newborn twins. Whether expectant parents deliver in Overlake’s existing space or the newly expanded unit, they shouldn’t expect any hitches other than the extra precautionary measures during COVID-19, says Crews.

“Overall, people have been happy with their experiences giving birth during the pan-

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demic,” says Crews. “People are surprised by how normal it feels.” Here’s more about what to expect in new parenthood’s new normal.

Childbirth, breastfeeding and labor classes are still available Expectant parents with lots of questions, take heart: The pandemic hasn’t halted childbirth education. In fact, it’s now more accessible than ever thanks to online classes they can take from home. “Childbirth classes, newborn care classes and

breastfeeding classes have transitioned to virtual classes,” says Crews. “Even postpartum support groups with other parents are available from the comfort of home. It’s a great resource for our patients, with all the restrictions on gathering with COVID.” (Find Overlake’s childbirth prep, breastfeeding and labor-coping skills classes online; overlakehospital.org.)

Your labor at a hospital or birth center will include a COVID-19 test Although recommendations are continually evolving and can vary by location, count on taking a COVID-19 test at your hospital or birth center. The test, a quick nasal swab, isn’t painful or invasive. You may

need to remain masked until the test results are available, which doesn’t take long.

“We had our COVID test results within about 40 minutes,” says Cheyenne.

You may not need to wear a mask during your entire stay Depending on the results of your COVID-19 test and any rules specific to your area, masks may not be required during labor or recovery. (Ask your provider to be sure.) “Our staff, including me, wears masks through our shifts,” says Crews. “But for patients, there are consistently evolving recommendations around masking. Right now, people who live in the same household do not need to mask when they are recovering.

If you do need a mask, we provide one.”

Cheyenne was nervous about the idea of laboring, particularly pushing, with a mask on. But after her COVID test came back negative, she was allowed to labor without a mask in her delivery room, she says. “We did discuss it with my OB, Dr. Guillet, beforehand, because that was a concern. But it ended up being fine.”

Visitation rules are different before, during and after labor Baby’s birthday bash will have to wait: Visitation during and after labor is strictly limited during COVID-19. That doesn’t mean you’ll labor alone, though. “We currently have limited visitors in our childbirth center in order to really keep the moms and babies safe,” says Crews. “In Labor & Delivery, we allow two support people in addition to a certified doula. In our recovery area, we allow one person who can stay with the

mom the entire time. We also don’t allow anyone under 16 on the campus right now.”

Visitor restrictions meant Cheyenne’s mother and mother-in-law had to wait a little longer to see their new granddaughter, says Cheyenne. “Originally, I’d planned on having my mom and mother-in-law in the room with me, and our families at least wanted to be able to be in the waiting room, but that wasn’t able to happen.”

Ask about any guidelines related to your birth plan Whether you have a beautifully written birth plan or just a vague idea of your preferences, talk through your ideal birth scenario with your partner, provider and doula in advance. Your provider can let you know if something you’re planning is affected by pandemic-related regulations; those planning an active labor should know that they’ll need to mask up before walking the hospital halls, for example.

“We wanted to go out and walk the halls during labor, but didn’t know if that was an option for us. We also wanted Stephán to catch Octavia, and we asked about that, too,” says Cheyenne. She was glad they asked, because delivering Octavia into her father’s arms was one of the highlights of the birth.

“It’s important to voice your questions and concerns so you feel really prepared,” adds Stephán.

You are Safe in Our Care Health concerns don’t take a break during a pandemic. That’s why it’s important to receive the care you need to stay healthy. All services at the hospital and clinics are open to provide safe care for you and your family.

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Social distancing can be blissful With strict visitor restrictions in most childbirth recovery units, your post-birth stay will be peaceful. You might miss the visitors — or not. Most new parents find they enjoy the extra peace and quiet before heading home, notes Crews. “Fewer visitors can actually be a silver lining for some new parents!”

“There were a lot of family members who would have been there if they could have been,” says Cheyenne.

“But really, it was kind of nice to get into the flow of things on our own first.”

■

Malia Jacobson is a health and family journalist.

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FE ATUR E

Growing Gratitude

By Heidi Lynn Borst

How to cultivate an attitude of gratitude in our kids When you think about gratitude, do you picture yourself seated at a festive table on a Thursday evening in late November, rattling off an obligatory list of things you’re grateful for? This year, instead of letting that thankful spirit fizzle out like an open bottle of bubbly, why not keep it going?

Research shows that it pays to make appreciation a part of every single day.

Adopting an attitude of gratitude yields numerous benefits to our physical and mental health, including stress reduction and increased immunity. Gratefulness also sharpens other positive emotions, such as empathy, compassion and kindness, all of which dynamically affect our overall wellness and satisfaction with life.

The best part? It’s an easy habit to kick off. Practicing gratitude can be as simple as acknowledging and actively reflecting on what we’re grateful for, and it’s never too early (or late) to start. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to gratitude, we’ve compiled some helpful advice from experts on ways we can foster appreciation in our own family unit. (Hint: It starts with us.)

Teach thoughtfulness and model thankfulness As parents, we yearn for our children to reach their full potential and lead happy (if not idyllic) lives. Though gratitude is a key element to successfully achieving goals in life, it’s not an innate quality. Rather, it’s an attribute we must allow to take root early on, and then provide a steady stream of nourishment to help it flourish.

“Think about gratitude as a skill and not some kind of inborn personality trait kids are either good at or not good at. … We should think about it like we’re teaching

our kids a new language; some of them are going to be more inclined. Some kids are naturally more appreciative and optimistic, in the same way that some kids will pick up a new language faster than others. But everybody needs a basic structure to learn the language. They need practice. They need to be taught the grammar and the basic vocabulary around it all,” says Christine Carter, Ph.D., a senior fellow at the Greater Good Science Center (ggsc.berkeley.edu) and author of “Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps to More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.”

Make room in your schedule for gratitude whenever you are able: during a meal, at bedtime or even in the car. To fully experience the benefits a gratitude practice provides, make it a routine, just as you would diet and exercise, says Giacomo Bono, Ph.D., an associate professor at California State University, Dominguez Hills, and co-author of “Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character” (see Parent Day Jobs, p. 31). “Gratitude is a complex social behavior we have to work at; it’s a very individualized process. Sometimes we model different things than what we say, so we have to be careful in that way, because our children are paying attention.

What we do and show our children and how we rise up in difficult moments to validate what they’re going through models social support.”

have. What’s more, our kids develop an understanding that nothing is owed to them.

No matter how old your kids are, there’s always a way they can help others. “Start doing it really young. I called a local group and said, ‘I have really little kids. What’s something we can do to help?’ A few weeks later, a volunteer coordinator called and asked if we could make a birthday cake. There’s a local group that tracks people who are living on the streets longterm and knows when their birthdays are, so these are kids who would not have any other birthday celebrations. It’s a fun way to give back, and it made my kids realize, ‘I’m not entitled to anything. I’m lucky to even have a birthday celebration,’” says Carter.

As kids get older, speak openly with them about the disparities and social issues that exist in the world. “Have conversations with them about how the way society works for us is often different than the way it works for others. There are a lot of families who are struggling to survive.

Being able to understand that people have a different experience from what we experience is an essential part of identity work, and it’s hard, but it helps them

Exposure to scarcity and adversity experienced by others encourages introspection When our kids are young, it’s natural to want to keep them in a bubble, safeguarding them from the pain and suffering of others, but helping those in need fosters compassion and instills appreciation for the gifts and blessings we are fortunate to

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continued from page 11

practice empathy,” says Bono.

Devastation resulting from natural disasters presents us with a remarkable opportunity to teach our kids the power of community support. “We’ve had brutal fire seasons the past four years out here in California, back to back. In 2017, the school our girls go to was used as an evacuation center. We brought supplies, food and other things for people who were displaced. Even though our own house didn’t burn down, [the girls] got a chance to see real people who had this very real experience, and learned that if you have something, you can share it with people who may not have it,” says Mike Robbins, author of “Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation.”

Exposure to others’ adversity isn’t easy, but it allows our children to gain the perspective they need to appreciate what they have — along with the inspiration to pay it forward.

Deepen gratitude by reflecting on intent Little things like smiling, expressing our thanks and reaching out to check in on a loved one go a long way, but even these simple acts are often overlooked, and many of us can’t remember the last time our kids actually wrote out a thank-you note. Still, it’s a meaningful endeavor that helps encourage appreciation, says Carter.

“Instead of having my kids say, ‘Thank you for the X material thing you gave me,’ I’ve

always had them write, ‘One thing I appreciate about you is … ’ It helps to foster a different sort of gratitude that’s more meaningful by turning their appreciation to the person. One of my kids recently said to my aunt, ‘I appreciate that every time I look on Instagram, you’re the first person to like my post.’”

Parents can expand grateful thinking by helping kids acknowledge the purpose behind the gifts they receive, Bono says.

“Three benefit appraisals are particularly useful when good things happen: 1) What is the personal value, or intent, of the gift?

Acts of kindness are done with intention and reflecting on that deepens our gratitude. 2) What is the personal cost to the benefactor? Thinking about the financial cost as well as the time and effort put into a gift will help us gain a greater appreciation for the person. 3) What is the prosocial intention of the benefactor? The gift benefits us in some way — the benefactor believes in us and they see something special within us they hope to grow.”

Actively encourage your children to think about the intention, benefit and cost of a gift to bolster their appreciation of people who show them kindnesses.

Social and emotional growth foster appreciation The development of strong social ties is vital to our children’s happiness and ability to experience gratitude. During tough

times, persuade your kids to connect with a peer who’s also struggling. “Ask your kids to think about what they have that other kids do not have. Can they look into their immediate environment to see who needs support? Who seems to be really struggling in their Zoom classroom? Who’s not engaged, who’s not showing up? Reach out to that kid if it seems like they’re feeling lonely. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you feel isolated, look for someone else who seems isolated — there’s nothing to lose by reaching out,” says Carter.

As children become adolescents, parents must step back, allowing their kids to take the lead. Through introspection, our children discover their true purpose and develop into autonomous individuals, Bono says. “Young people want to serve, and they want to contribute to the world. We need to be able to harness and support that, to give voice to our children and provide them with opportunities to blossom, to expand their thinking and help them grow and practice empathy. Care about whatever it is they care about. Being curious about things is the start of blossoming into our purpose,” says Bono.

Teaching your kids how to positively reframe any situation they find themselves in is vital. “One question we ask a lot of times at our house, instead of ‘Why is this happening to me,’ is ‘Why is this happening for me?’ What’s the opportunity here? Yes, continued on page 14

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Why You Should Try Gameschooling Your Kids This fall, our kids are living in a whole new world of virtual learning, and many parents are looking for ways to supplement their children’s education in more fun, less stressful ways.

How can parents work with kids to learn new skills even after class has been dismissed? Enter a popular trend that’s gaining steam among virtual learning families: gameschooling. Whether you use it as your primary method of teaching your children or simply as a means to supplement your child’s virtual education, gameschooling will almost certainly be a great option for your family.

long before they get antsy and lose focus.

But games? Kids can play games for hours.

What can my child learn just by playing games? Even the most basic games (think Candy Land) teach young kids skills such as taking turns and practicing good sportsmanship. With a bit of research, you can take your kids’ game playing to a whole new level, finding games that teach specific subjects and upping the ante with games that require true strategy and critical thinking.

What is gameschooling? Just like it sounds, gameschooling is teaching through playing games. Whether it’s manufactured board games you buy or a game you create in your own home, it’s all about games, games, games.

What about the three R’s? While some gameschooling families use games only to supplement instruction in areas where their kids are struggling, some homeschooling families choose to base their entire curriculum on gameschooling. Either way, when kids enjoy learning, they are much more likely to remember what they’ve learned and be able to incorporate that knowledge into their daily lives.

Why should you consider gameschooling?

Kids can only sit through lectures, educational videos and workbook sessions for so

What if my children are at different ability levels? Having kids at different levels of ability doesn’t mean that they can’t play

games together — in fact, playing games encourages teamwork and mentorship.

Many games, such as Forbidden Island, have a cooperative option, meaning kids of different ages can work cooperatively to beat the game, as opposed to competing against one another. The act of teaching younger siblings a new skill or idea also reinforces knowledge that the older siblings already have.

How do I get started? Interested families can check out websites such as My Little Poppies (my-little-poppies.com) and Gameschool Academy (homeschoolgameschool.com), which are dedicated to gameschooling. These sites are filled with advice about what games are suitable for specific subjects, age groups and ability levels. In addition, parents can connect with Facebook groups that are focused on educating fellow parents about the many options available within the realm of gameschooling.

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continued from page 12

this might be hard. This might be sad. This might be disappointing. You know, you get a bad grade on the test or you don’t get to do the thing you want to do or you don’t think it’s fair. But inquire into what’s the opportunity here to learn and to grow, which is a form of gratitude in a way, taking a deeper inventory into how might this make me stronger and benefit me at some point, even if I can’t see it now,” says Robbins.

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Embracing gratitude when life is hard During times like the present, when our lives are heavy with stress and worry, we may have to dig a little deeper to find that silver lining. “We need to shine our attention on the positives, especially when there’s so much that’s negative all around us. We’re all sad right now and our kids are feeling it deeply; they’re allowed to be angry, and we have to let them talk about their emotions, but then shift to the positives,” says Carter.

Lockdown is stressful, and we all have cabin fever, but it’s also a unique opportunity to be together as a family. “This is the most amount of time my wife and I are going to spend with our girls, probably ever. As stressful and as challenging as it is right now, I’m trying to enjoy it and be as grateful as I can. It’s beautiful and it’s brutal at the same time. I keep saying to my girls, ‘Pay attention right now, because you’re going to be telling this story for the rest of your lives. What’s the story you want to tell, when this is all over, about how you showed up and how this experience was for you, because we can’t actually control the circumstances of the pandemic, but we can absolutely control our attitude and how we show up during it,” says Robbins.

With every act of kindness, consideration and appreciation we bestow upon others, we silently inspire our kids to follow suit, so go and do some good in the world. Shine a spotlight on the things that bring you joy every day, no matter how small, because there’s always beauty and grace to be found; we just have to keep our eyes open. Encourage your kids to spread their wings — believe in them, love them and be their rock. Even when life knocks us down, there’s always something to be thankful for. Gratitude awaits.

■

206-543-4160 • rcys@uw.edu

Heidi Lynn Borst is an active mom, journalist and nutrition coach with a strong affinity for nature, sarcasm and extra sleep.

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Nudging our children to rely upon social connections and strengthen their friendships will help them become kinder, more caring and more grateful individuals.

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What’s So Great About Gratitude?

how relationships work and how to operate within relationships in an effective way,” says Fehr.

It may seem ridiculous to try to feel grateful now, when it feels like everything is crashing down around us. But studies show that gratitude can play a major role in reducing trauma and increasing mental resilience, even in the worst of times.

Fehr encourages parents to start with a simple conversation with your child that includes the following four steps:

According to Ryan Fehr, a worldrenowned gratitude expert (ryanfehr.com), gratitude does more than just make us happier. “I think the most powerful thing that gratitude can do is to really transform our relationships with other people, and that helps us live a more connected, fulfilling and impactful life.”

Noticing Help the child notice the good things in their lives. You might ask, “Hey, did you notice that your grandma gave you this toy?”

“As children get older and start valuing their autonomy, it’s nice to be a little less directive,” explains Fehr. “Help them find ways that work for them to express gratitude to other people.

Gratitude expressions tend to be most powerful when they’re in person. So, I would encourage them to practice gratitude in person-to-person interactions.”

For the whole family

For younger children Going beyond good manners “We encourage our kids to say thank you to other people, and I think that’s good. [But] when we think about this idea of cultivating gratitude in children, we want to take a broader approach.

Really, what we are trying to teach our children is a deeper understanding of

Don’t direct; plant seeds, instead It can be hard to get tweens and teens to appreciate what they have, especially with social media giving the impression that everyone else’s life is better or easier than their own. But at this stage of life, gratitude is more important than ever. One study showed that teens who are more grateful experience less delinquency (use of alcohol and drugs, cheating on tests) and less depression. Another study found that gratitude decreased competitiveness in teens.

Fehr says that letting tweens and teens create their own way of expressing gratitude can be helpful.

As parents, we all want to raise healthy, happy children. Helping children develop a gratitude practice might be one of the best ways to do just that. But how?

Fehr offers several suggestions.

The appreciation circle Fehr suggests families try a practice called the “appreciation circle,” which is used in some workplaces. It goes like this: Participants sit in a circle with one spot designated as the “appreciation chair,” and each person takes a turn to share what they appreciate about the person seated in the chair. The recipient of the compliments is only allowed to say thank you in response. Switch seats until everyone has been appreciated.

For tweens and teens

Thinking Help the child think about why someone gave them that object. You could ask, “Why do you think Grandma gave you that toy?”

Feeling Next, help the child describe their feelings by asking, “How did you feel when Grandma gave you that toy?”

Doing Finally, ask the child to then think of what they can do in response to the gift. The child might respond with, “I could give Grandma a hug.” Then offer options. You could say, “Yes, or you could share a toy with one of your friends.”

Being a role model also makes a difference “Even if your teen doesn’t want to go with you [speaking hypothetically] to give out bags to the homeless on a given weekend, that act of you going anyway and illustrating that you make that a priority in your life is still powerful, even if it just plants that seed for later on in their lives,” says Fehr. “It’s really when we bring our gratitude into the world with our words and with our actions that its power can be felt. It can impact our relationships and other people’s lives — that’s where it really matters.”

— Tiffany Doerr Guerzon

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PARENT ING

Gift Guide Unexpected Joys The Top 20 Toys for 2020

By Malia Jacobson This year may not have turned out the way you’d planned. In fact, it probably veered so far off course that it required an entirely new road map. But while 2020 presented significant challenges, it also offered some unexpected gifts in the form of curbside pickup, pen pals, neighborhood walks and more time at home with loved ones.

While we’ve been busy building resilience and baking sourdough, toy whisperers have been hard at work reinventing their collections and finding new ways to connect with customers. “Online shopping is a new venture for us, because we didn’t have a website before this year,” says Brittney Geleynse, co-owner of Clover Toys (clovertoys.com) in Ballard. “We’re very excited and we’re still adding to it!”

The newest batch of toys and games focus on philanthropy, unplugged fun, soothing sensory experiences and neighborhood play. Read on for our top toy picks from this topsy-turvy year.

Early years (ages 0–5) Magnetic Me ‘One World’ Modal Magnetic Footie, $39 Newborns can’t play with toys, but they (okay, their parents)

do appreciate adorable, comfy clothing. Magnetic Me is known for silky-soft baby duds with hidden magnetic closures for quick, easy changes. Its new “One World” print is inspired by a wish for global peace and health in 2020 and beyond; 10 percent of proceeds are donated to CARE (care.org), a leading humanitarian organization fighting global poverty by distributing food and hygiene kits, and empowering and protecting women and girls during COVID-19.

Bunnies by the Bay Friendly Chime Baby Rattle, $10 Local favorite Bunnies by the Bay creates super soft, supremely giftable plush toys in its Anacortes workshop. “What I love about their toys for newborns is that they have sewn eyes and other features, so they’re not a choking hazard,”

says Geleynse. “Their new rattle line is plush, beautiful and sweet.”

Dans La Jungle Stack-Up Cubes and Three Chicks by Moulin Roty, $26 Stacking cubes are a classic gift for the

2-and-younger crowd. This new set from Moulin Roty’s Dans La Jungle collection comes with a bonus: three sweet chicks that tots can tuck inside the cubes.

Dans La Jungle Cascading Spinning Tops by Moulin Roty, $48 A whimsical take on the popular ramp-style toy, this item features cascading tops that

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twirl their way down three levels to the bottom. “We’re excited about Dans La Jungle toys,” says Geleynse. “This is very similar to a toy my daughter received for her first birthday, so when I saw it, I just fell in love.”

Moulin Roty Storybook Torch, $16 This flashlight, equipped with colorful disks, projects images onto any flat surface.

Little ones can put on their own storybook show; caregivers can incorporate stories into kids’ bedtime routines.

Peaceable Kingdom Smoosh and Seek Treehouse, $20 This new memory game by Peaceable Kingdom has a satisfying sensory twist: Players work together to find animal friends and “squish” their images into smooshy dough. “One thing I love about Peaceable Kingdom is that they will replace all missing or damaged game pieces, including the dough,” says Geleynse.

Manzanita Kids Toy Mailbox, $49 Handcrafted in Seattle from kid-safe, sustainable wood, Manzanita Kids toys are satisfyingly tactile playthings made to last.

“Our mailbox encourages imagination and helps retain bonds with friends and family that we just can’t see right now. Kids love ‘reading’ their mail and using the slot in the box,” says Manzanita Kids founder David Minnery. “We also offer custom letters, where you can pen your own letters to your littles!”

Great Pretenders Super-Duper Hero Teal Tutu, Cape and Mask Set, $32 Thriving in 2020 and beyond takes flexi-

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bility, versatility and a dash of superhero spirit. This three-piece set includes a double-sided mask and comfortable, high-quality finishes to take tots and preschoolers from rock star to superhero to dancing queen in style.

Elementary years (ages 6–12) Faber-Castell and Klutz #HatNotHate Quick Knit Loom Kit, $25 Older kids can create their own cozy hat and support #HatNotHate, an anti-bullying campaign founded

by Shira Blumenthal to raise awareness by making, wearing and sharing blue hats.

“This speaks to a need in our community, and it’s a great skill for kids to learn,” says Geleynse.

it’s time for a new kitchen challenge. This kit lets gummy connoisseurs and budding scientists safely experiment with natural polymers, colorings and citric acid. Even better, they get to eat the results.

Manzanita Kids Mod-Town Modular Building Toys, $54 The newest additions to Manzanita’s popular modular building sets, Mod-Town kits can stand alone or as part of a modular neighborhood, village or fantasy world.

“Bigger kids love our modular building toys,” says Minnery. “The design is timeless, gender-neutral, and it encourages open-ended imaginative play for ages 4–10. All sets are cross-compatible so you can mix and match; they’re heirloom quality and meant to be passed down to the next generation.”

Wham-O Snow Boogie Hot Dog Tube, $30 What better way to end 2020 than with a gift that promotes family bonding, outdoor

Manzanita Kids Wooden Educational Activity Board, $38 “We just released our new educational activity boards that we are very excited about. We have four designs for various developmental stages, all designed by my wife, Adrienne, a veteran elementary schoolteacher,” says Minnery. “The boards focus on fundamental math and language skills, and are also great as a go-anywhere activity board.”

Bunnies by the Bay Toy Face Mask, $3 Get your child’s plush collection geared up for 2021 with this sweet stocking stuffer from Bunnies by the Bay. (This mask is sized for dolls and plush toys, and isn’t for use on humans.)

Thames & Kosmos Gross Gummy Candy Lab, $20 When your cookie monster tires of baking,

exercise and pure fun? This three-person inflatable sled features six soft handles, an eye-catching design and a soft, bouncy ride. Safe for ages 4 and older, this sled is ready for your neighborhood hill and light enough to tote over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house.

Razor Party Pop Scooter, $49.99 Brighten your tween’s neighborhood strolls with Razor’s brilliant Party Pop scooter. Its multicolored lights will illuminate winter’s dark months and make it easier to spot your speedster on family outings.

Teen Years (ages 13+) MasterPieces Seek & Find 1,000-Piece Puzzle, $16 Puzzles are a perennial pastime that’s newly popular in 2020. This 1,000-piece puzzle offers an additional challenge hidden in the artwork to take your teen’s puzzle puttering to the next level.

Eat2explore Global Cooking Kit, $24.95 This monthly subscription kit brings world cuisine to your kitchen with recipes from a new country each month — perfect for a homebound teenager dreaming of global travel.

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Incohearent – Family Edition by What Do You Meme?, $20 The PG version of the best-selling Incohearent game, this family-friendly edition features 500 cards for hours of family giggles. Players 12 and older compete to decode gibberish phrases until one player wins … or everyone collapses from laughing, whichever comes first.

Buffalo Games Apollo: A Game Inspired by the NASA Moon Missions, $29.99 From May’s SpaceX shuttle launch to July’s visit from the NEOWISE comet, 2020 sparked new interest in astronomy. This cooperative strategy game inspired

by NASA moon missions allows players to walk in the footsteps of NASA pioneers. Teams collaborate to complete flight stages, overcome obstacles, repair spacecraft and finish their mission.

Magneto Slot Machine Longboard, $79.99 With more people taking to streets and sidewalks, it’s no surprise that the longboard trend has picked up speed during COVID-19. Similar to skateboards and well-suited to cruising and racing, longboards are more popular than ever. This new release features a lengthwise slot running through the board’s center. The slot helps the board flex while in motion, for improved turning, better traction and more stability when pushing off.

■

Malia Jacobson is a health and family journalist based in Tacoma.

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November Play List 19 ways to be grateful for fall in the Pacific Northwest

By Devon Hammer

Highlighted Events for November

1

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Seattle Center Festál: Día de Muertos Festival Online parentmap.com/festal Saturdays and Sundays through Nov. 22

Northwest Railway Train Excursions Northwest Railway Museum, Snoqualmie parentmap.com/train-ride

Daily starting Nov. 13

WildLanterns Woodland Park Zoo, Seattle parentmap.com/zoo-lanterns

With fall fun winding down, winter activities ramping up, and tons of holidays to celebrate in between, we have a little bit of everything for you this November. Don’t miss out on a couple of last-chance fall activities, openings of traditional winter light shows, by-reservation private outings, virtual holiday events aplenty and more. Let us help you fill your November days with family fun!

1. Join a virtual edition of

Seattle Center’s Festál series on Nov. 1 to celebrate Día de Muertos. Explore the art, spirituality and traditions of Mexican culture while remembering the lives of departed loved ones. parentmap.com/festal

Oct. 31–Nov. 15. parentmap.com/altars

2.

Stop by Tacoma Art Museum — virtually — to honor lost loved ones at an exhibition of ofrendas (altars). View the ofrendas on TAM’s website,

Editor’s note: Please remember to wear a mask when coming within 6 feet of anyone outside of your immediate household and follow all advisories related to safe recreating outdoors (parentmap.com/stay-safe).

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Transforming girls’ lives Transforming girls’ lives through music through music

virtually. virtually.

continued from page 21

3. Register and then hop online Nov. 10 to

Learn more about how we’re Learn more about how we’re keeping girls singing and find out keeping girls singing and find out how you can get involved at how you can get involved at

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10/14/20 7:54 PM

Fun Starts Here Join 70,000+ Puget Sound parents to discover hidden-gem outings, frugal family adventures and the top local parenting buzz.

explore the best local K–12 private schools and resources, all conveniently located in one spot. ParentMap’s Puget Sound Education Expo is going online this year, presenting free ParentEd talks with education experts, live chats with local school and enrichment providers, and more. parentmap.com/live

4.

Catch the last thrills and chills of the Halloween season by taking the self-guided tour of the Georgetown Morgue Haunted House, if you dare! Open daily through Nov. 14. Recommended for ages 12 and older. seattlehaunts.com

5.

Seattle playgrounds are finally open for play! Abandon the screens and head outside after school for “recess” time at a favorite or new-to-you park. parentmap.com/playgrounds

6.

This Veterans Day, show your appreciation and respect for those who fought for our freedom. The city of Auburn can’t hold its famous parade this year, but everyone can join in five days of celebrations and tributes culminating in a virtual Remembrance Ceremony on Nov. 11. Events take place Nov. 7–11. parentmap.com/veterans

7. Check out White River Valley Museum’s virtual exhibit on the women’s suffrage movement — it’s funny, modern, fascinat-

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ing and (don’t tell the kids) educational.

It’s called #SquadGoals. View the exhibit online and then sign up for #SquadGoals Zoom trivia on Nov. 12 at 7 p.m. Recommended for tweens, teens and their families. parentmap.com/suffrage

8.

Choo-choo! Make a train lover’s dream come true by booking an excursion aboard a historic Northwest Railway Museum train.

Take in the beauty of fall on a 90-minute ride through the Snoqualmie Valley. Weekends through Nov. 22 (Yuletide Express rides commence Nov. 28 and run through Dec. 19). parentmap.com/train-ride

9.

A fun and invigorating tromp through the woods with kids that doesn’t require a long drive? Yes, please! Get out in nature — quickly — by taking a nearby forest walk in the city. parentmap.com/in-city-hikes

10.

Go for a dip in a unique indoor pool.

Book your one-hour session in advance and enjoy the heated saltwater pool, surrounded by live plants and lagoon-style décor, at McMenamins Anderson School. parentmap.com/lagoon

11. Does dreary weather have you

trapped inside and feeling down? Consider investing in quality fort-making materials.

Or make a fort the old-fashioned way, with some chairs, pillows and blankets. Either way, it’s worth the mess when the kids are

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

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bouncing off the walls. My family loves our Nugget! parentmap.com/forts

12. Get to know an octopus, a spiny

lumpsucker or one of the many other creatures that call the Padilla Bay Aquarium home. Join a Padilla Bay aquarist virtually for a “Quick Dip” at the aquarium each Wednesday. parentmap.com/padilla

14. Woodland Park Zoo unveils a new,

expanded holiday light festival this year.

Called WildLanterns, the outdoor display will feature giant lanterns in the shape of zoo critters and other animals. Book timed-entry tickets in advance for the show, which runs Nov. 13 –Jan. 17 (closed Nov. 26 and Dec. 24–25). parentmap.com/zoo-lanterns

15. Move and groove with your tot at a

live online family music-making class hosted by ParentMap and Sunshine Music Together. Nov. 19. parentmap.com/make-music

16. Want to see what it takes to create

a gourmet chocolate bar? Take an educational and tasty private tour of the Seattle Chocolate Factory. Book a tour time in advance; for families with kids ages 6 and older. parentmap.com/chocolate

17.

13. Reluctant hiker in your clan? Get out

on the trail and try these fun hiking games to keep those feet walking. parentmap.com/hiking-games

Get into the spirit of the season at Spanaway’s ever-popular Fantasy Lights holiday show. This drive-through light extravaganza was built for COVID-19 before the virus was even a thing. Stay warm (and safe) in your car while enjoying the 2-mile path of beautiful displays. Open daily, Nov. 21–Jan. 3. parentmap.com/fantasy-lights

18.

ZooLights at Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, another favorite holiday pastime, is back! The zoo becomes a colorful winter wonderland that includes light displays of some of your favorite animals and other lighted features. Open daily, Nov. 27–Jan. 3 (closed Dec. 24–25). parentmap.com/zoolights

19.

Thanksgiving is on Nov. 26, and we bet it’s going to look a lot different this year. We might not have big family gatherings, but there are plenty of ways to make it special. Make a Thanksgiving craft or share the true stories of Native Americans’ experiences with your kids. For these and more ideas, visit parentmap.com/holidays. ■ Devon Hammer is ParentMap’s Out + About editorial assistant and a mother of two.

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

Puget Sound’s best-kept secrets

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

6 Fun Rainy-Day Art Projects for Kids There is nothing better than a lazy “crafternoon” for curing a bad case of cabin fever.

Try one of these creative projects you can make with supplies you already have lying around the house.

on DIY paper beads. Noted as being “easy to make and surprisingly sturdy,” these gorgeous paper beads can be used to assemble friendship bracelets, necklaces, key chains and more.

Marble abstracts • colourherhope.com Get rockin’ and rollin’ — with marbles, that is — with this neat art project featured on Colour Her {Hope}. It only requires marbles, paints and a baking tin or box to contain your masterpiece. Simply roll marbles in some paint, plop them onto your canvas (or paper) and begin moving the container around to create a unique Jackson Pollock–esque work of art.

Rolling-pin paintings • casamarias.blogspot.com Put your kitchen rolling pin to the test as a novel paint applicator for this color-splashed project from Casa Maria’s Creative Learning Zone. This great idea for making masterpieces with a funky tie-dyed look can be done on a large or small scale.

And who says the rest of the kitchen utensils can’t join in? Consider using potato mashers, silverware and other ordinary implements to create unique textures and prints.

Fun for green thumbs • eighteen25.com Terrariums and succulents are all the rage!

If you’re hoping to get your little green thumbs involved in making your own adorable planters, try this idea from the lovely ladies at Eighteen25. It’s a quick and easy project that can be completely personalized and done indoors or outdoors; and it is a great introduction to gardening for young children.

Sock puppets • babyccinokids.com Give old socks new life as crazy-cute sock puppets, like the adorable creations featured on Babyccino Kids. Easily made with glue, felt, googly eyes, buttons, pompoms, yarn and other fun materials for the facial features, these sweet socks inspire creative play and last well into the future — perfect for rainy-day play or when you’re in need of a quick and easy boredom buster.

Paper beads • minieco.co.uk Treat your piccola fashionista to a day of jewelry making with Mini Eco’s great tutorial

Glue portraits • eighteen25.com Check out this crafty-cool coloring idea featured on Eighteen25. By adding a little black paint to a bottle of Elmer’s Glue-All, your kids can create cartoon outlines to color in with paints, crayons, markers or pastels.

— Jen Betterley

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Out + About

Diablo Lake

Family Adventure, Western-Style Take a step back into the Old West with a fall getaway to Winthrop Story and photos by Natasha Dillinger

If escaping to a cabin in a small mountain town aglow with beautiful golden foliage seems like the perfect antidote to COVID-19 burnout, have I got a destination for you!

I’ll be honest, though: The thought of a three-and-ahalf-hour drive from Seattle to Winthrop with two kids un-

der the age of 5 in tow didn’t appeal to me at first. However, armed with ample snacks and the patience for plenty of stops along the way, our scenic route for a midweek getaway to this Western-themed town quickly changed my mind.

The Methow Tribe inhabited this part of the North Cascades

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•PS-5th Grade •Blended Indoor/Outdoor Learning

•12.5-acre Campus

until white settlers — including Winthrop’s founder, Guy Waring — established trading posts in the area in the late 1800s. As the construction of State Route 20 neared completion in the 1970s, enterprising business owners hoping to attract tourists hired the architect of nearby Bavarian-themed Leavenworth to restore the town in the style of the Old West. Today, visitors can enjoy the town’s Western charm while also appreciating its Indigenous roots.

What to do in and around Winthrop

Keep up the hunt for the best schools!

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Tour downtown Enjoy strolling the wooden boardwalks and popping into the shops along Riverside Avenue, stopping to read about the history of the town at notable buildings. Signs reading “Mask Up, Partner” keep the atmosphere friendly while firmly reminding folks to keep tourism alive by exercising precautions against the spread of the coronavirus.

Prepare for relaxing downtime (or the long drive home) by picking up sketchbooks and postcards at Winthrop Emporium or a book at Trail’s End Bookstore (trailsendbookstore.com). Public restrooms are available at the Visitor Center (winthropwashington.com) if you can’t quite make it back to your lodgings.

Explore nearby parks and outdoor attractions A brief walk across a suspension bridge leads to the Sa Teekh Wa Trail, along the Chewuch River. Beautiful views and informative signs about local history keep adults entertained, while kids can build forts and climb on felled trees along the riverbank. On the other side of town is the relatively new Homestream Park (homestreampark.com), a former horse pasture that was restored to the land’s natural riparian and floodplain condition in 2019. The park also pays tribute to the Methow people and the lands and rivers on which they hunted and fished. Kids will especially love the miniature lookout tower.

While the indoor exhibits are closed due to the pandemic, visitors can still explore the outdoor tanks at the Winthrop National Fish Hatchery (fws.gov). When we visited midweek, a bucket of fish food was available for us to toss into the trout pond. Watching the fish greedily flock to the surface for a nibble was a big hit with my two little ones. continued on page 30

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Virtual Reality for Family Education, Exercise and Entertainment If you are like most parents stuck in the role of accidental teacher this fall (gee, thanks, COVID-19!), you may be scrambling to set up workable approaches to keep learning on track for your screen-fatigued pupils. Virtual reality can offer some exciting possibilities for home use, whether for education, exercise or entertainment — or any combination of the three.

VR for education and entertainment Kirby Shabaga, co-president of the Seattle Chapter of the VR/AR Association (thevrara.com), has great recommendations for families wanting to explore virtual reality (VR) and augmented reality (AR).

“Without having access to a headset, the simplest way to get a feel for VR is to use your mobile phone to view 360-degree photos and videos on YouTube or Facebook. I highly recommend Google Earth VR [arvr.google.com/earth] to explore our planet. It’s a fantastic feeling to travel from place to place or zoom in on your neighborhood.”

As a podcaster and researcher, Shabaga values communication tools. “Other options are experimenting with platforms like Hubs by Mozilla [hubs.mozilla.com], where you can instantly create a shared virtual world with friends and family, or AltspaceVR [altvr.com], to attend virtual meetups, host events or hang out.” Both platforms enable participation from a web browser for those who don’t have a headset.

VR for fitness and exercise Looking for ways to bolster your kid’s “remote recess”? Job Stauffer, a well-known VR fitness advocate, recommends Beat Saber (beatsaber.com), which he describes as “a quintessential VR blockbuster where players swing a red and blue light sword at flying blocks to fast-paced electronic music.” According to the Virtual Reality Institute of Health and Exercise (vrhealth.institute), an independent ratings organization for VR and AR at San Francisco State University, the game helps players perform at an average activity level equivalent to playing tennis, burning about 6–8 calories per minute.

Stauffer also recommends Supernatural (getsupernatural.com), an immersive fitness experience in which personal coaches deliver new workouts daily, set virtually in some of the most beautiful places in the world. As many as four family members can share a single subscription, which allows each person to create an individual profile to track their training progress.

For a geekier spin on family fitness, Vader Immortal: A Star Wars VR Series (oculus.com) provides a three-part adventure that has players fighting the Empire by using the Force. “Ultimately, diving into VR for the first time can be exciting and revelatory — and you’ll quickly start to realize how much fun working out can be when we stop leaving all of the action to our thumbs and the characters on a screen, and start stepping into those spaces to live those experiences ourselves,” says Stauffer.

For our complete guide to VR for families, see parentmap.com/VR. — Jeanette Ashworth, Ph.D.

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Hike!

You can’t drive more than 15 minutes outside of town without passing a trailhead.

This is also the only time you’ll appreciate the rooster-like wake-up times of your children. With the trailheads’ small parking lots, getting an early start or hiking midweek helps avoid crowds. We loved the Blue Lake Trail, a 4.4-mile round-trip hike made particularly lovely in the fall, when the western larches turn golden. My 4-year-old found the hike challenging but rewarding; it helped that it lacked the steep, rocky scrambles of many alpine lake trails.

Other hikes to fall foliage or lakes range from 4 to 5 miles in length, including Cutthroat Lake, Patterson Mountain and Goat Peak Lookout. Falls Creek Falls allows you to tailor the hike length a bit more with a viewpoint located just a quarter-mile down the trail.

Note: Winthrop is roughly an hour’s drive from the nearest hospital, and weather conditions can change quickly in higher elevations. This is a good time to make sure your pack includes adequate water, layers, snacks and an emergency kit. Read more tips for outdoor safety with kids at parentmap.com/safe-hiking.

Where to stay During a pandemic, there’s something to be said for having your own entrance and adequate space between your crew and other guests. The River’s Edge Resort (riversedgewinthrop.com) offers cabins, most of which have a private hot tub on

Stops along the way

the back deck. We loved having a kitchenette to prepare meals, and the resort’s downtown location made getting around easy. Cabins are also available at nearby Pearrygin Lake State Park (parks.state.wa.us).

Where to eat For that post-hike hot chocolate (or prehike pastry), stop by Rocking Horse Bakery (rockinghorsebakery.com). Some lunch items are available by 9 a.m., making this a convenient stop for a takeaway sandwich to tuck into your backpack. We enjoyed an afternoon ice cream at Sheri’s Sweet Shoppe (sherissweetshoppe.com), a fine purveyor of fudge and coffee; the treats were served on an expansive deck for socially distanced snacking.

Our kitchenette enabled us to make most of our meals at the cabin, but both the Old Schoolhouse Brewery (oldschoolhousebrewery.com) and the Duck Brand Restaurant (duckbrandwinthrop.com) offer takeout and outdoor seating (weather permitting).

Every parent knows that the key to surviving a long drive is to make many stops. En route to Winthrop, we hiked the kid-friendly Trail of Cedars, near Newhalem, a company town owned by Seattle City Light; we also hopped out to admire the stunningly blue Diablo Lake. On the way back, we stopped for pastries, coffee and snacks at the Mazama Store (themazamastore.com), and sheltered from the rain for lunch at Rasar State Park (parks.state.wa.us).

If you go …

Find it: Winthrop is about a three-and-ahalf-hour drive from Seattle via the North Cascades Highway (State Route 20). When this scenic route is closed, which happens seasonally between late November or early December and May, based on snow conditions, take Interstate 90 or Highway 2 through Wenatchee. Keep in mind that this will add at least an hour of driving time to the trip.

Most trailheads require a Northwest Forest Pass (discovernw.org) or its equivalent (such as the America the Beautiful annual pass; store.usgs.gov), although a few may honor a Discover Pass (discoverpass.wa.gov).

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Natasha Dillinger is a Seattle mom who paused a career in accounting and finance to focus on showing her two young children around the Pacific Northwest.

Follow their adventures on Instagram (@suitcasesinseattle).

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PAREN T ING

Parent Day Jobs Meet Giacomo Bono, Ph.D. Childhood illness inspired this dad’s lifelong interest in the power of positive relationships

By Heidi Lynn Borst

Giacomo Bono, Ph.D., is an associate professor at California State University, Dominguez Hills, and the co-author of “Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character.” In the book, Bono and Jeffrey Froh, Psy.D., provide researchbacked evidence for how gratitude benefits child development, along with practical advice for parents on how to nurture gratitude in their kids. Comparing gratitude to a miracle drug, one that enhances happiness and overall life satisfaction, the pair demonstrates how being grateful helps our kids become actively contributing members of society.

As a 9-year-old, Bono suffered a life-threatening case of encephalitis (inflammation of the brain) that required weeks of hospitalization. As his weakened body battled to survive, Bono slipped into a coma. When he woke up, his concerned family gathered around him in a circle of love and support. Bono credits his family’s persistent encouragement for helping him summon the strength to recover, and it was the driving force behind his commitment to explore the power of human connection.

Now, as a father of two boys (Dario, 15, and Alex, 12), Bono is a keen proponent of the positive effects loving, supportive relationships have on child development. Speaking with ParentMap, Bono shared his views on why love and gratitude are so important.

How did your childhood illness fuel your interest in positive youth development?

On a very primitive level, it taught me that

life is hard and we have to be there for each other. The pain and concern on my family’s faces really made me realize that what was happening was serious. I remember that emotional information; it really did empower me. I had the attitude that I could get through it. To this day, I am awed by the infinite value of every human. Belief in people is powerful, and I very much see and appreciate that.

How does gratitude affect our children’s development of prosocial behaviors (helping, sharing and comforting)?

Gratitude is a gateway to social skills and increases social-emotional competence.

As our kids are developing their own lives, they pick their friends, and part of prosocial development involves choosing friends who show love toward you and who intrinsically care for you, instead of using you for popularity or status.

Ultimately, gratitude helps nudge our kids into seeking out peers who get them and who help them have a more satisfying life.

We want our kids to become good people, good friends and good citizens. We have to give them a voice and let them contribute to decision-making.

Why is it important to step back and assess the deeper meaning behind gifts and services we receive from others?

When somebody is kind to us, it’s very easy to just say thanks and be done with it.

Thanking a person is part of this politeness script that we have, but the times when good things happen to us really are learning moments. Instead of being on automatic,

we should pause to appreciate the meaning and intention behind what a person has done for us. Acts of kindness are done with intention by someone who has noticed us and who believes in us. They put in time and effort, and that matters a lot; appreciate that they see you as having something special that they hope to grow, that what you have is special to the world. It’s part of a wider web of how we support each other and inspire each other toward purpose, and how we contribute to society.

In the most difficult times, how can we help our kids seek silver linings?

We always have a choice in how we see things, even when we’re going through significant challenges. Encourage patience in your kids and see if there’s another way to reframe whatever they’re going through.

Recognize there’s always another way to look at things, but we also have to validate their feelings by listening, acknowledging and being supportive. Trust involves hearing what their needs are and valuing their contribution to the world. What’s most important for our kids is being able to see on their own the things that matter most in life.

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