If your kids are old enough to ask you to buy things, take the opportunity to start teaching them about saving and spending. Encourage positive habits by setting up financial accounts for them at appropriate ages and stages.
Paying a child for chores is a way to get them excited about earning and saving money. Deposit their earnings in a “piggy bank” or clear jar so they can see the progress as they add coins. When their piggy bank is full, they can deposit their savings into their bank account.
Nearly 50% of all children aged 8-14 have a personal savings account, according to a 2020 survey by Statista. You can start a savings account when they are even younger, so it has more time to grow. Kids savings accounts typicaly offer interest with no monthly fee. Kids can review their account balance in regular statements.
Encourage your child to create a wish list for “nice-to-haves” like trendy sneakers, video games, or a trip to Great Wolf Lodge. Offer to match their savings toward their top goals. Suggest that your family members contribute towards the child’s savings account instead of more toys, if your house is already stocked for fun. Celebrate with your kids when they reach their financial goals!
First $9.90 on us this holiday season!
Give your child the gift of good savings habits. Through December 31, First Fed will credit each new First Savings account with $9.90 in honor of our 99 years in the PNW. Call us at 800-800-1577 or stop by our Bellevue branch at 1100 Bellevue Way NE #6.
Promotion details: First Savings accounts are for children under 13. The offer applies to new First Savings accounts that can be opened for each child (one per social security number). Offer can be used for multiple children under 13 in a household. Please allow 2 business days for processing the credit. Promotion available October 31, 2022 to December 31, 2022.
PEPS offers peer-support programs for expectant parents, parents of newborns, infants, or adolescents and teens, plus affinity groups. Weekday and weeknight options offered virtually, with selected groups meeting in person at community sites. Flexible Pricing program fees and financial assistance available on all groups.
I am a card-carrying Gen-Xer, and this makes me plenty old enough to remember the annual experience of pawing obsessively through the Sears Christmas Holiday — aka “Wish Book” — catalog (and the Montgomery Ward equivalent). For dear readers younger than, say, 30–35, imagine if the seemingly boundaryless inventory of Amazon.com were presented in a glossy, drool-inducing, metropolitan-area-size phonebook dedicated to toy-selling awesomeness. That.
Oh, shoot, maybe this is the moment when we need a refresher on what a phonebook is? We’ll cover that particular chapter of obsolescence in a future note …
Suffice to say, before the inexorable, inexhaustible ascension of Amazon, “catalog stores” such as Sears and Montgomery Ward made holiday shopping simple, but, more importantly: unforgettable; magical; and also accessible to millions of families everywhere, particularly those living outside of urban areas.
I, as an example, grew up in Steamboat Springs, a small and practically perfect mountain town in Colorado. Unless my family embarked on a rare (and occasionally seasonally treacherous) trip by car to Denver, our local Montgomery Ward catalog store was the essential way that the mind-blowing bounty of the wider world’s available toys, clothes, house wares, tools, inventions and more were within our reach. (True story: My 87-year-old mother to this very day brags that she was the first woman in my hometown to own a snow blower, courtesy of Montgomery Ward.)
The catalog-store catalog arguably may have been the most powerful codex of cultural + consumer life in the 20th century. Hoping for the best possible Christmas morning or Hanukkah haul possible, generations of children scrupulously examined, dog-eared and bickered with their siblings over these hefty paper tomes of collective dreams. They were the treasured “wish list” for more than 100 years before Jeff Bezos ever came along.
At its publishing zenith, a single Sears Wish Book weighed in at a boggling five pounds and numbered more than 800 pages. Intrepid mail carriers delivered millions of them to our doorsteps each year (… through snow, rain, gloom …). But I’ll wager that there has never been a piece of mail more unanimously awaited.
Here is the point I am laboriously building to: Depending on our circumstances, we may give and receive lots of gifts each year. But wishes are a special thing. They are incantatory, ineffable — often their own reward, because, as we all know, they don’t always come true.
Nostalgia deepens and gathers contextual nuance like dust with the passing years. When I think about this “Wish Book” legacy, I reflect on the fact that my own parents (born in families of very modest means, in 1917 and 1935) experienced the same anticipatory glee that I can readily recall from my own childhood. They never expected to receive a mountain of presents, and neither did my brother and I. But that didn’t dampen the unmatched and almost transcendent joy of that particular quality of wishing. Not one little bit.
Here’s wishing you and yours such joy during the giving (and giving back) season.
— Patty Lindley, managing editor
NOVEMBER 2022,
NO.
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A saddle for my horse
A dollhouse my parents built for me
Hands down, the Easy Bake Mini-Wave
Oven
A giant cardboard spaceship that I slept in for an entire year
Barbie Dream Camper, yo!
Fax 206-709-9031
year: $12
rate
Kids can be mean, especially to their parents. Whether it’s “You’re the worst mom,” “Why did Dad even marry you?” or “I hate you,” their slings and arrows can rival any other viciousness you’ll experi ence in your life.
Kids push our buttons. Even when we are pleasant, they can go on the attack. I recall one time when I planned a special occasion for my then 11-year-old son. Swimming suits and snacks packed, I surprised him and two friends at school pickup, ready to take them to an indoor swimming pool on a rainy winter day.
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When I presented juices and bagels for the ride, he growled, “You know I hate seeds on my bagel. You ruined everything.”
Although I would like to say I had a witty reply, I en acted my standard “Lay low and wear beige” fallback. Better to say nothing than humiliate him in front of his friends. But I was seething. I was thinking he was a rude and spoiled brat. But in my reflective mind, I knew he was in transition from his school day and probably feeling nervous about hosting this surprise plan.
Before we get to some good approaches for address ing this kind of nastiness, let’s review why it happens. Most kids say mean things to let off steam. Those emotions may stem from free-floating, general stress of the day or reflect important feelings that need airing and perhaps some problem-solving.
Most cruel provocations are not reflections of deep-seated problems in the parent-child relation ship, nor are they indications of behavior problems or manifestations of character defects. Emotional dumps, insults and zingers spring forth from negative emo tions, and it’s our challenge to summon our wise mind to figure out an optimal response.
Kids say nasty things because they’re exhausted, an gry, disappointed and upset. Parents are their secure base, which means they can displace stress without fearing that parents will reject them or abandon them.
Kids trash their parents because they get sick of our rules, routines and expectations. We have power that they don’t have, so it feels good to pay us back with nasties to make us miserable, too. For instance, we may succeed at getting them to do chores to earn their screen time, but at least they can make us suffer a little for it.
Once they discern what is fueling the outburst, parents have options for thoughtful responding rather than re acting. We can use eight good approaches to building emotional regulation skills in kids: ignoring, empathy, deflection, save-for-later agenda, compassion, modeling of self-calming, humility and — most importantly — validation. Just know, going into it, that it can feel like you need the patience of Yoda, the self-control of Spock and the wisdom of Buddha.
Your choice of a response depends on what you
determine is driving the emotional lashing out. Since it is natural to meet nasty with nasty, take a breath and figure out what your child’s negative emotion might be about, so you can choose wisely rather than react emotionally.
The “dump” is by far the most common nasty you’ll get from your child. All day long, children are expected to comply with adult expectations, follow rules, adapt to disappointments, and inhibit their impulses to hit, yell and rebel. We underestimate the amount of self-control they exercise on an hourly basis — or from minute to minute — even on a good day!
Like a dog that does a “shake-off” after a stressful interaction, kids are shaking off the negative emotion they feel, even when parents have done absolutely nothing to provoke them.
Kids use their willpower and neurological brake systems to emo tionally regulate when around friends, teachers and other adults. Yes, parents are the dumping ground at home, because kids “use up” their self-control elsewhere. (We do the same thing — aren’t you often nicer to others than you are to your family members?)
Willpower is finite. Research has shown that adults and children alike are worn out by late afternoon. We all cave to our baser tendencies to let loose with negative emotions at the end of the day.
Because children have more than a decade of neurological matu ration to go before they can shift their self-control into high gear, their nasties at home are guaranteed to be plentiful and happen often. Of course, outbursts can also occur first thing in the morn ing, since the day may start with bad moods and obligations. Life is so stressful!
By the age of 5, children are starting to understand the impor tance of compliance with rules and social norms. They want to fit in and be accepted in social settings outside of the home. It’s nature’s way. We want them to quell their urges and angry out bursts with others. But then they come home spent.
Example: Your 10-year-old comes home, throws his backpack on the floor and announces he is starving. You say hello and ask him in a friendly tone to please take his backpack to his room. He yells, “Why are you always so grouchy?”
IGNORING is better than reacting to the nasty, espe cially since paying attention is reinforcing. Engaging with a rebuke may elicit more emotional discharges. Confronting a young child, tween or teen with their “bad attitude” when they are unwinding from a day of hard work at school is not recommended. In this hypothetical example, the son isn’t really asking why you are grouchy. He just hates to be reminded of a rule when he is hungry, tired and stressed out from a long day of “coloring within the lines.” You want him to comply with your rule, but eliminating negative feelings about it is unrealistic.
EMPATHY is always a plus.
“Remembering rules, like putting your belongings in your room, is such a drag after a long day. I feel the same way sometimes.”
DEFLECTION: Focusing on reuniting with kindness can remind kids that you are kind — and generous.
“I’ve got some snacks for you in here.”
Insults can be innocuous and random shake-offs — such as “Why are you so grouchy?” — or they can be gut punches. They can be accusations that you want to explore or ignore. They can be outrageous or hold a kernel of truth. They can represent feelings you want to validate or feelings that are flotsam and jetsam from your child’s shipwreck of a day, worthy of follow-up once you sort through them with a cooler head. Pa rental discernment is required.
Example: You remind your 9-year-old daughter, Brook, to do her Saturday-morning chores of cleaning her room and the bathroom before she meets a friend. She screams, “You never make Leo do anything. You are a terrible mother. You aren’t supposed to love one kid more than another. I hate these chores. You’re stupid. Nobody else I know has to do them. I hate my life!”
“It is so, so hard for older kids to have more expecta tions than younger ones. Chores are a bummer when you just want Saturdays to be all about fun. I see that
you are furious about it. When you finish your chores, it will be great to go to Thea’s and enjoy the fun she has planned. For the record, I love you with all my heart. We’ll talk about Leo and chores later.”
VALIDATION does not mean approval or agreement. It means you “get it” from some perspective. The goal of validation in response to extreme emotions and thoughts is to convey that you understand some essence of what has been said. A major point — do not use the word “but” after you validate, as it nullifies the validation. It’s “both/and” logic, not “yes, but” arguing, which can infuriate.
The SAVE FOR LATER is just that. Maybe Leo needs a chore or Brook wants to vacuum instead of cleaning the bathroom. Giving kids choices encourages cooperation.
Two things can be true at the same time: You can validate that Brook is furious about doing chores and that you still expect her to complete them before her playdate. Note that this reply doesn’t address Brook’s statements that she hates her life, that you are a “terrible mother” or that you love Leo more than you love her. Brook’s declarations are most likely related to her anger about chores, but you can explore those other matters later.
When kids insult their parents while angry about chores and routines, it’s good to keep in mind that it is a shake-off, not an allegation you should feel compelled to argue or defend. Remember, all atten tion is potentially reinforcing. Talking about random contentions could increase them if you get into a long
When kids insult their parents while angry about chores and routines, it’s good to keep in mind that it is a shake-off, not an alle gation you should feel compelled to argue or defend.
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debate about the importance of chores and how justified you are to impose them.
One of the most common traps we fall into when we are insulted or criticized is “arguing about the truth.” There are no absolute truths. You’ve heard that one, right? Your kiddo is angry, so she perceives you to be terrible, mean, unfair and stupid. You can ar gue the point, or decide that negative emotions stir up all sorts of feelings, thoughts and allegations!
An accusation about preferential love for a sibling is a sticky issue. Toddlers are cute and often receive more open adoration than brooding 9-year-olds. Defending equal love can send you down a rabbit hole of overtalking. Remember that line from Hamlet, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”? There is something to that.
We can tuck the feedback away for later and be more mindful about increasing positive regard for our prickly-pear kids and saving sloppy kisses on the little ones for when the pear is not around.
Example: Eugene, age 13, has a quirky 10-year-old sister who em barrasses him regularly. She wears stickers on her forehead, sings loudly and flaunts Pretty Kitty merch like a bad TikTok ad. He says
“We totally get it. You are at the age when looking cool is of top importance. When you’re peeved, you want to slug something. While we adore your sister and her individuality, we know your friends laugh at her, which humiliates you. We know it takes every scrap of your self-control not to react to her violently. We ap preciate your effort. We have faith that you can white-knuckle it through this phase, but we know it is really, really hard.”
VALIDATION: These parents know that Eugene is flooding constant ly these days due to the hormones of puberty, the brain changes of adolescence and the temperamental clash of these two very different kids. It is tempting to lecture about the importance of kindness, self-control and standing up for his sister, but Eugene is more likely to be kinder to his sister after being validated for his emotions than if he received a lecture on virtues (after a snort, or two).
Example: Luci, age 12, has a dad who believes she lacks grit and a work ethic when it comes to homework. She makes almost all A’s, but he worries that she is getting used to sliding. They’ve had nu merous power struggles about homework quality. After he remarked on the short amount of time she spent doing homework today, she accused him of being a control freak, and then cried out, “I’m sorry if I’m not the perfect student you were when you were my age!”
“Luci, I apologize if I ever gave you the idea that you are less of a good student than I was. I happen to know that way more is expected of you at school than was expected of me when I was a kid. I also know that school achievement is important to you, and you are doing great at school. You are right that I hover too much. I get anxious about school stuff. I’m sorry.”
VALIDATION: Luci’s dad has reflected on how his lectures about grit have hurt her and insulted her. He knows his anxiety about her homework hinders more than helps.
HUMILITY: He feels that there is truth in her accusation that he has been too controlling. He also knows that she is more likely to work hard with acknowledgment of effort than criticism.
he hates her and that his mom and dad flunk as parents. Today, he had a meltdown and screamed, “You are psycho! No wonder you gave birth to a psycho. I do not want to be related to this weirdo family.” Once he cooled down a bit, the parents decided that the best approach was validation.
Sometimes when children criticize us with big zingers, they are accurate! Acknowledging our own mistakes is one of the most ef fective ways we can influence our children to do the same. Humil ity and admitting when we are wrong strengthens trust. While this zinger might sting, the strong character this father demonstrated will build Luci’s own character more than another lecture on grit.
Alternatively, a lot of zingers are just plain inaccurate. When kids have meltdowns, they are like volcanos erupting — all sorts of
random emotional debris spews forth. And the explosive material can be vile.
When humans flood emotionally, their frontal lobes — that is, their thinking and deliberative brains — go offline. Their emotional systems take over, and cognitive distortions proliferate. These ex treme thoughts include “all or nothing” thinking (for example: “I’m the victim and you are the villain,” “I am right and you are wrong”); catastrophizing; over-generalizing; and mental filtering (e.g., seeing only the negative things that support their perspective and none of the alternatives).
At these times, parents need to remember that nothing is more important than our own self-calming, so that we don’t add fuel to the fire. Arguing, protesting, scolding or threatening will keep the volcano erupting. Validation of negative feelings helps a little, and your own self-calming can help a lot.
Example: Jared, age 8, has just learned that he can’t go to a friend’s birthday party because of a previous commitment to attend a family reunion. His mom dreads Jared’s meltdowns, but she knows he needs practice with emotional regulation. Jared says he hates her, will run away and wishes she were dead. He screams that she is the meanest mom in the world. He threatens
to go to the reunion and throw all of the food off the table and tell everyone there that she is “abusive.”
“I get it. You are thinking about how much fun you will have at the party. I’m standing in the way of that. You are extremely mad at me. You want me to really, really get how angry you are. You feel like I’m hurting you, so you want me to hurt just as badly. I understand. I’m going sit here with you until you let it all out. I’m going to take some big breaths, because when you are upset, I am upset. I need to calm myself down.”
A good expression to keep in mind when we feel the urge to lecture or express our own hurt feelings is “You might be right, but are you effective?”
continued from page 15
VALIDATION: Jared’s mom focuses on feelings, not the content of Jared’s words.
DEFLECTION: She deflects the vitriol and acknowledges his misery instead.
COMPASSION: She appreciates his perspective in this moment when she seems cruel to not cave to his de sire, but she doesn’t take his fury personally.
MODELING CALMING: She tries to control only herself, not him or his feelings.
As with many of the above examples of emotional outbursts, you may think Jared’s mother is indulgent or permissive. After all, don’t we all value respect, self-control and obedience in our kids?
What we focus on during an outburst depends on our assessment of what is driving the behavior. And a good expression to keep in mind when we feel the urge to lecture or express our own hurt feelings is “You might be right, but are you effective?”
These kids didn’t break any rules, unless your rule is that kids shouldn’t have or express negative emotions. Since that idea is both unrealistic and inconsistent with achieving healthy emotional adjustment, you could consider the goals of effective management of outbursts, modeling your own self-control, and discerning approaches that help and don’t hurt.
All of us get stressed and have our own outbursts. Try as we might to employ the eight good approach es for handling emo dumps, insults and zingers, we’ll have our own buttons pushed and react ourselves. We will meet nasty with nasty. We’ll threaten, argue and lecture when we wish we had validated feelings.
Since another parenting goal is self-forgiveness, we’ll only try to be good enough, not perfect. With these kinds of nasties, a realistic goal is striving to have “Yoda” parenting moments just some of the time. ■
Laura Kastner, Ph.D., is the author of a number of parenting books, including the acclaimed “Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens” and “Getting to Calm: The Early Years.” She is a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington.
Talk to your provider to get them up to date on immunizations.
In this ParentEd talk, award-winning psychologist and researcher Lisa Miller, Ph.D., will share the groundbreaking and surprising neuroscience of spirituality and how to engage it in our lives and parenting to enhance grit, optimism and resilience in ourselves and in our children — providing insulation against the ills of addiction, trauma and depression.
Drawing on her own cutting-edge scientific research, Alison Gopnik, Ph.D., will reveal fascinating insights into how caregiving relationships in childhood and old age evolve distinctive capacities for cognition. Gopnik will explain how these two developmental life stages are related, and how the relationship between children and grandparents, in particular, is key to human culture.
Tech-savvy kids today are constantly awash in a sea of unfiltered information. Julie Bogart, author of the indispensable book “The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life,” will draw on her more than 20 years of curriculum development experience to share strategies for parents to coach critical digital literacy skills in their kids.
Don’t miss this essential talk by Jeffery Robinson and Khalil Gibran Muhammad, two of the nation’s leading scholars on race, democracy, inequality and criminal justice. Their message: Forging a more equitable society now and in the future requires that the history of race and anti-Black racism be honestly represented in our nation’s classrooms.
Drawing on more than 40 years of research in the fields of intimacy and sexuality, Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., will speak about how couples can zest up their relationship, sharing the secrets of happy couples and depicting the profound intimacy, mutual respect and deep friendship that can be achieved in a modern egalitarian partnership.
Edward Hallowell, M.D., Ed.D., New York Times–bestselling co-author of the groundbreaking books “Driven to Distraction” and “Delivered From Distraction,” will share his insights on the latest brain science behind ADHD/ADD and his strengths-based approach to identifying, developing and celebrating the talents embedded in ADHD, dyslexia and other syndromes.
What the Neuroscience of Spirituality Reveals About Our Capacity for Health, Happiness and Resilience | Nov. 1, 2022
In this fascinating ParentEd talk, cultural researcher and author Jessica Joelle Alexander will reveal the secrets of the Danish style of parenting that will help parents of all walks of life “raise the happiest, most well-adjusted kids in the world,” applying her “PARENT” acronym: Play, Authenticity, Reframing, Empathy, No ultimatums and Togetherness.
Acclaimed sociologist and leadership coach (and mother of four teenagers!) Christine Carter, Ph.D., will draw on scientific research to outline realistic ways parents and educators can help preteens, teens and college students find focus and fulfillment through the development of effective habit formation, goal-setting and authentic leadership skills.
In this interactive talk, trauma exposure pioneer Laura van Dernoot Lipsky will offer practical tools to help us sustain, individually and collectively, in the face of trauma, secondary trauma and overwhelm. She will discuss what the consequences of trauma are as well as strategies for supporting ourselves and each other.
Behavioral scientist Elizabeth Jordan thinks today’s parents lack the determination required to uphold the appropriately strict values of “traditional parenting” that result in the best outcomes for kids. She’ll expose the common pitfalls of permissiveness that result in traumatized parents and entitled teens — and reveal the power of the most crucial ingredient of effective parenting: humor.
*Attendees will be eligible to win prizes, courtesy of Happiest Baby.
The Danish Way: Insights Into International Parenting* | March 22, 2023
Seattle Children’s is proud to be the presenting sponsor of the 2022–2023 ParentEd Talks series
Scan the QR code below to sign up for Seattle Children’s Good Growing e-newsletter. Each issue shares timely tips to keep your family as safe and healthy as they can be.
Hope. Care. Cure.™ Radhika, patient at Seattle Children’s
By Sandi Schwartz
Volunteering as a family is such a wonderful way to bond and feel better overall. When we make others happy, we experience an amazing biological phenomenon called a “helper’s high,” which is the result of our brain releasing chemicals called endorphins. We experience an energy in our body that is similar to the rush we feel after we exercise. These positive feelings make our kids happier and healthier by reducing stress, anxiety and feelings of sadness, loneliness or depression.
Finding the right family volunteer activities can be overwhelm ing at times. You may feel uncertain about what is expected and question whether your children can participate. It is so import ant that your children feel comfortable where you volunteer, are inspired by the work you do and enjoy themselves. Without these three components, our children won’t reap all of the amazing benefits of volunteering. Plus, we want them to love helping others so they continue to do so for a lifetime!
When searching for the appropriate activity, consider the following priorities:
The first step is to brainstorm as a family to decide what types of volunteer activities you are interested in doing. Ask your children whom they would like to help. Is there a particular cause they feel passionate about, such as feeding homeless people, making art for other children, helping animals, or visiting the elderly or sick? What interests, skills and talents do your family members have? Do you prefer to be indoors or outdoors? Do you wish to work directly with people or do something quietly, such as painting or pulling weeds? The options are endless, so it is important to nar row down your choices and focus on projects that will give your family the most satisfaction.
Do your research before you sign up to volunteer with a specific organization. Find out about its history and how it got started, and read up on the organization’s goals, mission, leadership and fund ing. Check out its website, search online for press coverage, and visit sites such as Charity Watch (charitywatch.org) and Charity Navigator (charitynavigator.org) to find and support nonprofits that align with your family’s values and passions. If possible, ask a
current or past volunteer about the pros and cons of the orga nization. Getting a referral from someone you know is the best option, especially because your children will be participating.
Location, location, location Next, you will want to search for projects and programs that are close to home so that you do not have to drag your kids too far to volunteer. Check your local paper, call charitable organizations or search online to find the perfect places for kids to volunteer in your area.
continued from page 21
Although fees for volunteering are rare, check to see if they are required. You may also want to consider any other costs involved, such as travel, required clothing or equipment, or requested prod ucts or monetary donations.
Decide how much time you have to volunteer. It could be once a week, once a month or once a year. Start slowly and gradually increase your involvement if the project is working out well. You may choose to volunteer with different organizations each time in order to expose your children to a wide variety of experiences.
Look for activities that your whole family can participate in. Be fore you commit to a project, check to see if there are any age requirements listed. It may take some hunting around, but you should be able to find age-appropriate options. Even babies can take part in nursing home visits, charity walks and beach clean ups.
Before you show up, find out exactly what you will be doing. Will there be heavy lifting involved? Will you have to get your hands dirty? Will the project involve a boring and repetitive task that will
end up annoying your kids? Make sure the activity is something that your kids will actually enjoy before you invest your time.
No matter what, safety needs to come first when children are involved. Your kids may be afraid to talk to strangers, so consider starting with familiar people and places. As your children get older, you can start to venture out and expose them to different situ ations. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, many places have adjusted their volunteer schedules and requirements, and others may have temporarily paused their volunteer programs. Check each organization’s website for the most current information about its volunteer programs.
Finally, if it isn’t an enjoyable experience for your kids, then what’s the point? Choose opportunities that involve your children in a fun way, but that also teach and inspire them. Avoid topics and activities that are too serious and sad for young children. Be sure to engage with them afterward and ask what they thought and if they would be willing to volunteer again. ■
Sandi Schwartz is an author, journalist and mother of two. As the founder and director of the Ecohappiness Project (ecohappinessproject.com), her mission is to inspire and educate families to build a nature habit to feel happier and calmer.
Visit ParentMap.com to explore family-friendly volunteering activities (parentmap.com/family-volunteering), volunteering options for families with tweens and teens (parentmap.com/volunteering) and programs in which young people can participate on their own.
Every child should have the chance to smile; every family, a warm house to come home to; and every person, a home-cooked meal made with care. Together we can ensure that no one goes without this holiday season.
HOPELINK.ORG / LAHH
After relishing a tiny serving of Spokane’s kid-friendly fun during my family’s recent #vanlife experiment (parentmap.com/vanlife), we were ready to return and really explore this eastern Washington city and experience all that it has to offer.
Many Seattle-area families know Spokane as a stopover spot or gateway to adventures in Idaho and Montana. But the city itself is brimming with amazing things to do with kids, making it a getaway destination all on its own. Turns out, Spokane is a super-fun family destination.
Where can you see a stunning waterfall right in the middle of town? Why, in Spokane, of course! Referred to as Stluputqu (meaning “swift water”) by the Spokane Tribe, Spokane Falls offered rich fishing grounds for Native American people before dams prevented the return of chinook salmon. Today, the falls (which are still swift) provide hydroelectric power to thousands of regional customers.
You have several options to view the falls up close, whether from a walk able viewpoint or by soaring over the falls in a gondola cabin, courtesy of the Numerica SkyRide. The gon dola ride is about 20 minutes in du ration and makes a great “rest” time if you’ve just arrived in town.
Play all day by the river Spokane’s incredible Riverfront Park (my.spokanecity.org) offers — count ’em — three play spaces, two splash areas and a carousel!
Start by testing your bravery on the epically tall slides at the 40,000-square-foot Ice Age Floods Playground, completed last year. The darkest blue tube slide is pitch black within, which scared me and a few other parents, but not the kids excitedly spiraling down through it. Learn about the floods that shaped this area while digging for fossils or frolicking at the splash pad.
Next, head to the iconic “Childhood Express,” a gigantic Radio Flyer wagon sculpture. Capture the perfect photo op as your kids slide down the handle.
Did you spot some litter on your walk? The “Garbage Goat” is just around the corner. This quirky iron sculpture was installed as part of the 1974 World’s Fair and will eat any trash you feed into its vacuum mouth.
We loved our ride on the historic Looff Carrousel, built in 1909. (Yes, it is spelled with a double “r”!) Choose a hand-carved horse on the outside loop if you want to reach for colorful plastic rings to toss into the “Garbage Goat” facade on the perimeter. A rare and lucky bronze ring will win you a free ride.
Stop off at the Rotary Fountain if it’s a hot summer day; this and the other splash pad are open seasonally, May–September. But your year-round destination is Providence Playscape. The first inclusive playground in Spokane, this fenced-in play area offers accessible teeter-totters and swings, musical moments and the most glittery play sand I’ve ever seen.
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Spokane’s riverfront location means you’ll have beautiful water views almost everywhere you roam.
Miles 20–23 of the 40-mile-long Spokane River Centennial State Park Trail wind through downtown Spokane. Take a leisurely stroll along the river, or bring your bikes or scooters to cruise through Riverfront Park — a much quicker way to access all of those play grounds! Spoke ’n Sport (spokensportinc.net) offers reasonable rates on bike rentals (including kid trailers) if you don’t bring your own.
Planning your 2023 any-season escape to Spokane Summer days get pretty toasty in eastern Washington, so a day on the water is a great way to cool off. My kids and I loved our late-summer scenic float with Wiley E. Waters (riverrafting.net). We munched on snacks and watched fish swim beneath us as we coasted over “splash and giggle” rapids (very appropriate ly named, judging by my kids’ reactions). Run by local dad Josh Flanagan, the company earns rave reviews and welcomes kids as young as 3 to float on the Spokane River or Clark Fork.
If you’d prefer to take the paddle into your own hands, Fun Unlimited (cdasports.com) rents kayaks and stand-up paddle boards from its location under the Division Street Bridge.
Still have energy to burn? Strap on your roller skates and visit the Numerica Skate Ribbon. Rather than on a monotonous oval, skat ers can practice their best moves on a wavy track. From around Thanksgiving to late February, the space transforms into an Ice Ribbon for wintry ice skating.
Whether the weather ends up scorching, rainy or snowy, it’s nice to have some indoor-activity options up your sleeve.
In 2021, the Mobius Discovery Center (mobiusdiscoverycenter.org) combined its children’s museum and science center into one
fabulous space where kids can learn STEAM concepts through play. During our visit, my kids loved launching paper rockets into the air, blowing giant bubbles and experimenting with the life-like digger truck.
Just down the road is the newly remodeled Central Library of the Spokane Public Library system (spokanelibrary.org). The aquaticthemed River Rumpus play space features a submarine play structure (complete with a periscope!) and whimsical carpeting. Cozy up with a book on the rowboat’s giant pillows or peer at Spokane Falls through the bookish window decals.
Savor the changing seasons on a trip to the Green Bluff Growers area (greenbluffgrowers.com). Located about 30 minutes north of downtown, the area offers U-pick fruits that don’t grow in our wet ter western Washington climate, including cherries and peaches.
We loved the tractor ride to the juicy peaches at Walters’ Fruit Ranch (waltersfruitranch.com). Several farms, such as Beck’s Harvest House (becksharvesthouse.com), up the ante in the fall with pumpkins, fresh doughnuts and corn mazes.
If you’re visiting between late April and the end of September, drive an hour east into Idaho to visit Silverwood Theme Park (silverwoodthemepark.com), the Pacific Northwest’s largest amusement park. There, you’ll find more than 70 rides and enjoy access to the waterpark for the price of admission. Most of the bigger rides have a 42-inch height minimum for children riding with an adult. Just barely tall enough, my preschooler loved zipping down his first big wooden roller coaster, while my 6-yearold preferred the super-soaker water rides.
Where to eat in Spokane When in Spokane, you don’t have to choose between kid-friendly food and good food.
The brewery scene here is unmatched. Relative newcomer Uprise Brewing Co. (uprisebeer.com) is owned by parents, so you won’t be surprised to find there’s a large dedicated play area for kids, replete with ball mazes, dollhouses, books and games, in addition to a cornhole setup on the patio. Juicy and flavorful braised pork fills a sandwich or taquitos (get the sauce on the side for some dipping fun).
Other brewery stops include Humble Abode Brewing (humbleabodebrewing.square.site), where your family will enjoy kid-friendly offerings such as foosball and house-brewed root beer; and No-Li Brewhouse (nolibrewhouse.com), which affords river views from the patio.
If a classic burger-and-milkshake dinner is what you’re after, hit the ATM for some cash and head to Mary Lou’s Milk Bottle (facebook.com/milkbtl). For family-style Ethiopian dining, enjoy a combo platter from Queen of Sheba (queenofshebaspokane.com).
This spot is located conveniently close to the Ice Age Floods Playground.
To fuel up for a play-filled day, I recommend a hearty breakfast at Crimson Hearth (crimsonhearth.com). Kids can choose their favorite classic lunch box full of toys to play with before chowing down on a teddy bear hotcake (kids’ meals are only $4!).
Before heading out of town, save room for tacos from Cochinito (cochinitotaqueria.com). My kids loved the restaurant’s perfect ly grilled quesadilla, but I went more gourmet with a trio of tacos packed with fillings of maitake mushrooms, pork belly and octopus.
Tips to make your Spokane getaway a success
• Choose centrally located accommodations if you can. Parking in this growing metropolis is challenging, and most of your activities will likely be centered around Riverfront Park anyway. We loved the outdoor pool (including a kiddie pool) at The Centennial hotel (davenporthotelcollection.com); it also happens to be located across the street from the Ice Age Floods Playground.
• Speaking of parking, devote a little of your budget to it. We settled for a spot in the River Park Square mall garage to save time. It’s a spendy $1.50/half hour (with a measly $1 off if you spend $20 at a
participating retailer and validate your parking), but we wanted to enjoy our limited time in Spokane without circling the block forever.
• Bring your ID or membership card if you’re in the military, a AAA member, or are traveling with seniors or college students. While not advertised on the website, those cards will get you a 10 percent discount on the Numerica SkyRide, the Numerica Skate Ribbon and the Looff Carrousel.
• It wouldn’t be a road trip without stops! Spokane is about a fourand-a-half-hour drive from Seattle, so some stretch breaks for kids are likely. The Wild Horse Renewable Energy Center (pse.com) near Ellensburg offers an engaging visitor center where kids can learn about wind and solar energy and even gawk at one of the huge windmills. Ginkgo Petrified Forest State Park (parks.wa.gov) is also along the way from Seattle to Spokane. Take a short hike along the Trees of Stone trail or visit the (air-conditioned) inter pretive center to examine our state gem in person. Don’t forget your Discover Pass to park! ■
Natasha Dillinger is a Seattle mom who paused a career in ac counting and finance to focus on showing her two young children around the Pacific Northwest. Follow their adventures near and far on Instagram @suitcasesinseattle.
O
By Nancy Chaney
Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.
We’re just sitting here snacking away on our kids’ Halloween candy and — bam! — all of a sudden, it’s the holidays?! Holy fruitcake! This month brings favorite family light shows, chances to play outside no matter the weath er, and the return of family theater, designed to engage and delight young audiences (and their grown-ups). Go forth and savor all that November has to offer.
� Register for the upcoming ParentEd Talks event with Lisa Miller, Ph.D., during which she will share her fascinating in sights into the neuroscience of spirituality, and how spirituality influences our health, happi ness and resilience. Preregister and then tune in on Tuesday, Nov. 1, 1–2 p.m. ParentEd Talks are offered on a sliding-scale fee of $0–$15.
parentmap.com/live
� Delight your crew with spicy taco-party fun at Olympia Family Theater’s adaptation of beloved children’s story
“Dragons Love Tacos.” Per formances are Friday–Sunday
(with masks required for Sun day shows), Nov. 4–20. Tickets available for a sliding-scale cost of $5–$35, with a portion of each show’s tickets available for free to walk-up guests. This show is recommended for ages 3 and older. parentmap.com/tacos
� Salute our country’s veter ans and honor all active-duty military at Auburn’s annual Veterans Parade & Observance, one of the largest in the United States. The parade route fol lows East Main Street in down town Auburn. Saturday, Nov. 5 at 11 a.m. Free. parentmap.com/parade
� Gather with local Hmong families to celebrate the Hmong New Year and dive into the culture and traditions of this community, which has a strong presence in the Seattle area. Enjoy dances, food and signa ture intricate needle crafting at Seattle Center, Saturday, Nov. 5, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. parentmap.com/hmong
� Learn about and try your hand at origami and other Japanese papercrafts at this free fest celebrating Bunka no Hi (Japanese Culture Day). Also enjoy taiko drumming, martial arts demos and storytelling.
Japanese Cultural &
Nov.
Online parentmap.com/live
Nov.
Olympia Family Theater parentmap.com/tacos
Nov.
Spanaway Park parentmap.com/fantasy-lights
Community Center, Seattle, Saturday, Nov. 5, 11 a.m.–5 p.m. parentmap.com/bunka-no-hi
� GeekGirlCon is a familyfriendly and inclusive gather ing of fans of gaming, comics, STEM and design. Panels and workshops highlight the partici pation of women and other un derrepresented groups in these fields. Book your passes and get your costumes together! Saturday, Nov. 5, 9 a.m.–8 p.m.; tickets $30 for adults, $15–$20 kids and teens, free for ages 5 and younger. parentmap.com/geekgirlcon
� Visit the Kennedy Creek Salmon Trail to see a South Sound salmon run in action and learn from on-site docents. Leave your pooch at home and plan to carefully follow the directions on the website to reach the trail, which will be open 10 a.m.–4 p.m. on Nov. 5–6, 11–13, 19–20 and 25–27. Access is free. parentmap.com/salmon-trail
� Everyone has ancestors worth remembering. Visit Tacoma Art Museum to par take in the Día de los Muertos tradition of honoring depart ed ancestors in a joyful and respectful way. View the tapete (sand painting) and contribute to community ofrendas (offer ings) on Sunday, Nov. 6, noon–5 p.m. parentmap.com/ day-of-the-dead
� Bundle up and explore the outdoors on Veterans Day, when our state and national parks provide free entry to all in honor of all those who have served in our armed forces.
Friday, Nov. 11. parentmap.com/free-day
� Woodland Park Zoo’s en chanting lantern display is back for its third year to bring wonder and light to your dark winter days. Book your timed tickets ahead for dates begin ning Friday, Nov. 11, and note that tiered pricing is in effect, based on peak times. Tickets cost $29.95–$34.95 for adults and teens ages 13 and older, $25.95–$29.95 for kids ages 3–12, free for tots ages 2 and younger. parentmap.com/wildlanterns
� In Seattle Children’s Theatre’s holiday show, “Paddington Saves Christmas,” the beloved — and somewhat clumsy — bear aims to help everyone get ready for the holidays. This fun-filled comedy is perfect for families with kids ages 3 and older. Tiered-pricing tickets $20–$40. parentmap.com/paddington
� Kids and their grown-ups love StoryBook Theater’s in genious twists on classic fairy tales. Catch its unique take on the story of Hansel and Gretel, performed at the Kirkland Performance Center. Can the siblings work together to outwit a shifty chef? StoryBook shows are designed for kids ages 3–10. Two showtimes, Saturday, Nov. 19; tickets $13. parentmap.com/ hansel-and-gretel
� Step into the holiday season by enjoying Fantasy Lights’ amazing displays on foot during the only chance to walk, not drive, through its annual light
display in Spanaway Park. Book your tickets for one of two ses sions taking place Saturday–Sunday, Nov. 19–20. Book your tix early; $4 per person, ages 3 and younger free. (Fantasy Lights’ drive-through edition begins Nov. 25.) parentmap.com/fantasy-lights
� Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium again welcomes families from the South Sound and beyond to immerse them selves in a winter wonderland of color spread across the zoo grounds. Mount Rainier and the giant Pacific octopus were among past years’ incredible displays. Book your timedentry tickets, $6–$16, for this
show, opening Nov. 25. parentmap.com/zoolights
� Garden d’Lights at Bellevue Botanical Garden, another favorite seasonal light display for families, features whimsical animal, flower and bird shapes — at an affordable price. Book your tickets to enjoy this display of over half a million lights, opening Nov. 26. Tickets $8, children ages 10 and younger free. parentmap.com/ garden-dlights ■
Nancy Chaney is ParentMap’s Out + About editor.
WildLanterns Returns to Woodland Park Zoo
Experience all of the beauty of WildLanterns this holiday season at Woodland Park Zoo! Tickets on sale now. zoo.org/wildlanterns
‘Artificial Intelligence: Your Mind & The Machine’
Explore this interactive exhibit opening at MOHAI on Oct. 15.
Discover what thinking ma chines are and learn how AI will be part of the future. bit.ly/MOHAI_AI
Many parents are guilty of reflexively flinging a particularly deflating knee-jerk cynicism in response to requests by their kids for certain toys they really want (but we sure as shoot don’t):
“That’s … too expen sive, too loud, too junky, too messy, too big, too small (ouch — infernal Legos underfoot!)
...” So many ready objec tions! Nowhere has this miserly anti-toy sentiment been more per fectly immortalized than in the endearing holiday classic “A Christmas Story,” when Ralphie’s mother responds to his covetous plea for a Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200 Shot Range Model air rifle with this dismissive, dream-quashing assessment: “You’ll shoot your eye out.”
But the truth is that we can all probably recall a toy we likewise desperately cov eted during our childhood, one that made us sleepless, fretful, hopeful — maybe even maladroitly scheming — in the lead-up to the holidays.
Luckily for the Ralphies of the world today, there are magical adults in our midst who understand what kids want and advocate for their toy wishes, every day of the year, not just during the holiday season.
Stephanie “Steph” Luckerath is the assistant manager of the independent
Snapdoodle Toys & Games store location
snapdoodletoys.com) in Seattle’s Greenwood neighbor hood. This beloved toy mecca has drawn loyal families from the area for more than 30 years, long operating as Top Ten Toys before being acquired in 2018 by the toy-whispering Pickering family, which operates five other Snapdoodle stores, in Kenmore, Redmond, Issaquah, Totem Lake and Bellevue.
Luckerath is a veteran toy seller in her own right, having logged almost three decades’ worth of experience work ing in Seattle-area toy stores. “I love in dependent toy stores.
This is what I know. You breathe in, you breathe out, you sell toys — that’s what I do,” she says with a shrug.
Quite possibly the least grinchy person one could ever encounter, this ambassa dor of fun recently shared her exuberance for, and breathtaking knowledge of, the best toys and games of 2022 with me. Here are 15 of her favorite picks for your holiday gift-giving list consideration.
Flybar My First Jump & Squeak Pogo Hopper (ages 3+)
“These are really fun. Not pogo sticks, they are pogo ‘hoppers’ — much more balanced than pogo sticks.”
Wanderlust Wood + Felt City Blocks Playset: Seattle (ages 3+)
“We just got this in last week, and I’m all excited about it! It’s a playset of Seattle-themed felt and wood blocks — there’s the Space Needle, Pike Place Market and the Seattle Great Wheel.”
Magna-Tiles: Dino World XL (ages 3–99)
“You can’t ever go wrong with Magna-Tiles! We have the new 50-piece Dino World set in stock right now.”
Heads Talk Tails Walk: A Game of Silly Sounds and Movement (ages 3+)
“This is one of my favor ites. It is a matching game where you have to pair face-up body cards with face-down head cards. But, say you’ve matched a chicken body with a cat head on top:
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Everybody has to get up and walk around the table like a chicken while meowing like a cat. I sell this to tons of grandparents of 3-year-olds. But I also sell it to UW stu dents who come in and ask me, ‘Yeah, do you have any good drinking games?’”
Jabber Bot Smart Remote-Control Robot (ages 6+)
“The Jabber Bot is this little RC robot. It makes a whistle noise and a spooky noise. It also makes a fart sound, because, well. ... Kids can also talk through the bot, as a walkie-talkie.”
Not It! The Camping Chaos Edition (ages 6+)
“I played the original fairytale version of this game with reps [from The Good Game Company] in 2019.
I recently found out that all of the artwork for the Camping Chaos version was done by a Seattle artist.”
SmartGames IQ Travel Puzzles (ages 6–adult)
“These little travel logic puzzle games are the type of thing I will throw in my pocket before I go down to Portland on the train. Endlessly entertaining for kids and adults alike.”
Dolphin Hat Games’ Gimme
That! (ages 7+)
“This game is by the folks behind the very pop ular Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza game. But this one is ridiculous! It’s crazy-fun. Love it!”
Sleeping Queens 2: The Rescue! (ages 8+)
“I’m really excited about Gamewright’s Sleeping Queens 2 — this time, the queens have to go save the kings! [The compa ny’s] Rat-a-Tat-Cat card game has also been one of my favorites for 25 years.”
vaguely like what it’s supposed to be — then you have to work on it [with water and sandpaper] until it’s finished.”
National Geographic Amazing Worms Chemistry Kit (ages 10+)
“We carry sev eral of National Geographic’s excellent kits in our sci ence section. Chemistry of worms? Yup.”
Force1 UFO 4000 3-Speed LED Stunt Drone (ages 14+)
“This is one of my favorite drones ever! I play with it all of the time. It is super sturdy.”
Lego Ideas Tree House (ages 16+)
Buildzi by Tenzi (ages 6–96)
“This fast-stacking building-block game is our best-seller for good reason — it’s wonderful.”
Tsuro: The Game of the Path (ages 8–adult)
“This game was created in Portland. I’ve only played it once and I lost within two minutes. I don’t mind losing, but I mean losing honestly. I live with my elderly mother — and she cheats. So, we don’t play games at my house.”
Studiostone Creative Soapstone Jewelry (ages 9–99)
“Studiostone’s soap stone kits aren’t just jewelry. There’s also a bear, a sea turtle, a wolf ... You get a very raw lump, looking
I’m one of our resident ‘Star Wars’ Lego fans, but what I’m best known for is being the resi dent ‘Harry Potter’ Lego geek. But, have to say, the tree house is simply amazing!”
You’ll find Stephanie Luckerath on the floor at the Greenwood Snapdoodle Toys & Games store noon–7 p.m., Tuesday–Saturday. She is also the store’s resident “story-time lady” — drop in most Wednesdays at 4 p.m. for a storytelling treat. Thank you, Steph! ■
Patty Lindley is ParentMap’s managing editor.
WashingtonStateABLE.com
1-844-600-2253
Some people would argue that noodles are the ultimate Asian comfort food, but my money is on dumplings. Whether the savory little pouches evoke memories of after-school snacks at street stalls, late nights out with friends or folding dough around the kitchen table ahead of a big family dinner, dumplings warm both the stomach and the heart. The classic rounded-shaped dumpling can be fried, boiled or steamed, and we won’t judge if you prefer a crispy wonton or ruffly shumai instead. Whatever you pick, there is a dump ling shop to make your day.
Din Tai Fung • dintaifungusa.com
Multiple locations
Din Tai Fung needs no introduction. In fact, the global Taiwanese chain was the introduction for many Americans to Chinese comfort food in the first place. Justifiably famous for its pork xiao long bao soup dumplings, Din Tai Fung also makes wontons and steamed dumplings, including one vegetarian and one fish option. You used to have to wait in long lines for a table at the University Village location in Seattle. Now you can make reservations at any of four local shops; the other three are in Bellevue, Tukwila and Seattle’s Pacific Place.
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Dough Zone • doughzonedumplinghouse.com
Multiple locations
A much smaller chain restaurant than Din Tai Fung, but more prevalent locally, Bellevue-based Dough Zone will soon have 10 locations around Puget Sound. Loyal fans proudly argue that its xiao long bao are superior to those at Din Tai Fung. The dumpling house also makes boiled, steamed and pan-fried dumplings — the last two with a vegetarian option.
Dumpling Generation • dumplinggeneration.com
23830 State Route 99, Edmonds; 17171 Bothell Way N.E., Lake Forest Park
The authentic, handmade Northeast Chinese–style dumplings at family-owned Dumpling Generation in Edmonds were recently lauded in The Seattle Times. The restaurant also has a location in Lake Forest Park. Despite its doughy specialty, the family prides itself on healthfulness, specializing in steamed dump lings instead of fried, using better meats and no added MSG. There are two vegetarian dumpling options, and lots of vegetarian choices on the entrée menu.
Dumpling the Noodle • dumplingthenoodle.com 1723 N. 45th St., Seattle
Now operating in a bigger space in Wallingford that includes family seating, Dumpling the Noodle began its life as a takeout-only venue during the early days of the pandemic. Wherever you eat them, the menu of pan-fried dumplings and hand-pulled noodles is supplemented with seasonal specials that keep you coming back to try new things. While the beef bulgogi dumpling is a favorite, nearly half the menu is vegan, making Dumpling the Noodle a rare Chinese dining experience in which vegetarians can try as many dishes as their carnivorous friends.
Little Ting’s Dumplings • littletingsdumplingsbellevue.com
683 156th Ave., Bellevue; 14411 Greenwood Ave. N., Seattle
There are two Little Ting’s Dumplings — one in Bellevue and one right on the border of Seattle and Shoreline. The original Seattle location sells xiao long bao soup dumplings; pan-fried, steamed and boiled dumplings; and pot stickers, alongside lots of buns and noodles. Although pork is the favored filling, there are three savory vegetarian dumpling options. The Bellevue menu is a little smaller, but it includes clay pots and some harder-to-find meat dishes, in addi tion to dumplings.
Ping’s Dumpling House • ordertogo.com 508 S. King St., Seattle
Located right under the Historic Chinatown Gate, Ping’s Dumpling House makes Northern Chinese–style steamed dumplings, pot stickers and soup dumplings with vinegar-based dipping sauces. Ping’s dumplings have light, chewy wrappers that don’t fall apart and finely minced fillings. Its vegetarian options extend well beyond the standard carrot and cabbage filling, including a flavorful “Full Veggies” pot sticker and a dessert bun with red bean and chocolate filling.
Seattle Dumpling Co. • go.trytabletop.com 916 Pike Place, Seattle Replacing Country Dough in Pike Place Market last year, Seattle Dumpling Co. is the dumpling-centered offshoot of Lake City’s Mount&Bao (which has a very broad Chinese menu; mountbao.business.site). Among other comfort food menu items such as buns and noodles, Seattle Dumpling Co. offers a soup dumpling, a chili wonton and a selection of boiled dumplings (one vegetarian variety).
Supreme Dumplings • supreme-dumplings.com 14603 N.E. 20th St., Bellevue
It’s no wonder that the wait is long for a table at Bellevue’s Supreme Dumplings. Despite its strip mall location, the interior is stylish, and everything on the tightly edited menu is delicious. The xiao long bao soup dumplings are some of the best in the re gion, and the restaurant’s only vegetarian dumpling, although (alas) not a soup dumpling, packs enough flavor to earn its place at a table of carnivores.
Many people would argue that the best way to eat dumplings is at home, after sitting around the table filling and sealing them amidst family conversation. If the only thing keeping you from homemade dump lings is knowing how to make them, take a class. FrogLegs (froglegskca.com) occasionally offers a Din Tai Fun kids’ class that includes dumplings; some times other kids’ cooking programs (parentmap.com/ tot-chef) teach dumpling making, too. For the follow ing courses, check with the instructor for minimum age requirements, or take the class yourself and then practice your new skills at home while you teach the rest of the family.
Bellevue-based Whisk (whiskcooks.com) frequently offers dumpling classes. For $100 per person, Cooking Dolls (cookingdolls.com) will come to your home and teach you how to make dumplings in your
own kitchen. Chef Fumiko in the Central District teaches pot sticker workshops, which you can book through Cozymeal (cozymeal.com). Chef John teaches a dumpling class through CocuSocial (cocusocial.com). Dash of Soy Culinary School (dashofsoy.com) offers a workshop on vegan dumplings in person and pork dumplings online. The Pantry (thepantryseattle.com) occasionally offers homestyle Chinese dumpling classes — keep an eye on the schedule, as the classes sell out quickly. Local
cookbook author Hsiao-Ching Chou teaches hands-on Chinese soul food classes and offers dumpling how-to videos on her website (mychinesesoulfood.com).
If you want dumplings but don’t feel like going out or cooking from scratch, many of the restaurants in this article sell their dumplings frozen and in bulk. Bellevue’s Xiao Chi Jie (thexcj.com) sells soup dumplings (and a few other goodies) in frozen batches of 50 for pickup or mail-order delivery. Devoted fans can’t get enough of the pan-fired Shanghai-style xiao long bao. The pork, pork and shrimp, or chicken are all great options, but alas, the business is too authentic to offer vegetarian choices. For something a little different, try frozen Himalayan Momo dumplings (himalayan-momo.com) from the grocery store. These Chinesestyle dumplings from Nepalese restaurateur Vivek Kunwar have a South Asian twist with fillings such as paneer and curried vegetables. ■
Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet.
By Karen Pavlidis, Ph.D.
There are numerous factors that come into play when making the decision to refer a child for a learning assessment. When a child is lagging in reading, it can be hard to know whether to pursue an assessment right away or take a wait-and-see approach. Some children who are initially behind in reading can suddenly have things “click” and they catch up, while others fall further behind during the elementary school years.
Here are some factors that can tip the scale in the direction of seeking an evaluation. The more factors that are present, the more likely it is that a child may have a learning issue that is worth exploring. The list below includes factors that could signal a problem, but not all of the listed signs are necessarily present in a child with dyslexia.
Keep in mind that some very bright children with dyslexia are able to compensate, or “mask,” their challenges. These children may achieve grade-level performance, but are not at a level that one would expect given their high intelligence. Experts in the field are divided about whether a very bright child with grade-level read ing should be considered as having a learning disability. Highly intelligent children whose reading is at only grade level may show dyslexia-like patterns in their brain functioning (as reflected by noninvasive functional magnetic resonance imaging), whereas grade-level readers who are performing on par with their intelli gence tend not to show this pattern.
Possible signs that a child should be considered for a learning evaluation:
Family and developmental history
• Family history of dyslexia, especially in an immediate relative (a parent or sibling)
• Delays in early language development, even if mild (“late talker”)
• Speech articulation issues
• Problem with verbally “tripping” over sounds (e.g., “psghetti” instead of spaghetti)
• Difficulty learning the ABCs
What are signs that a child should be referred for a dyslexia assessment?
• Seems behind in reading
• Has choppy delivery when reading aloud
• Experiences spelling difficulties
• Lacks strategies to sound out words
• Has trouble learning the sounds that go with certain letters
• Is challenged by learning sequences (days of the week, months of the year)
• Has difficulty holding information in mind (following instructions) ■
Karen Pavlidis, Ph.D., is a child clinical psychologist who has been in private practice in Seattle for 20 years. She is the founder of Child and Teen Solutions (childandteensolutions.com) and holds a faculty appointment as a clinical instructor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington.
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Reading is a complex skill and there is no “one size fits all” approach when it comes to solving reading problems. However, there are many ways you can support your struggling reader at home.
• Have fun with books! Lead your child to an appreciation of the printed word. Find books, comics and any other printed materials that your child loves and read them together.
• Teach and practice the alphabet in many ways, such as with magnetic letters, by singing songs, playing with letter blocks, reciting the alphabet as you climb stairs and tracing letters.
• Build word awareness. Teach your child to recognize and write their name, and then expand from there to other familiar words, such as the names of siblings, common food items, colors, etc.
• Play rhyming games and sing songs together. Play guessing games, such as “I’m thinking of a word that begins with the letter ‘B’ …”
• Sound out words and learn word patterns. “Let’s think of all of the words ending in ‘–ill’ that we can.”
• Reflect on the meaning of the stories you read. “Why do you think Curious George gets into so much trouble?”
• Enjoy old favorites and seek out exciting new titles. Make the most of your child’s pet interests of the moment. If dinosaurs are the current topic of fixation, be sure to find lots of books about them.
— Jan Pierce
By Gemma Alexander
Ninjas should be secretive, but I am on record as an airfare ninja. I spent a week in the Azores for $900 per person (including hotel) and I’ve flown to China for free. But when I started planning my first postCOVID-19-lockdown trip to Spain, I found out that nowadays, you might need to be a ninja to get to your destination at all. The old advice generally holds true today, but new challenges call for new tech niques.
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Spend time and money to save money. Parents know even more than ninjas about bal ancing time and money. Now, more than ever, you can save money by spending time on exten sive research and reading the fine print. Find the kid-friendly airlines along with the ones that tack on fees. Research supplementary travel insurance and the benefits on your travel rewards credit card. Find out what happens if you have to cancel your trip at the last minute due to COVID-19. Some airlines still allow you to rebook with no fees, but others have abandoned that priceless policy. This past summer, it was the rare itinerary that didn’t result in at least one canceled flight. Will your airline automatically reroute you?
Sometimes you have to spend a little to save a lot. Old-time ninjas booked dirt-cheap fares on sketchy websites and cobbled complex itineraries across different airlines. Booking with only one airline or using well-known online travel agents (OTAs) such as Expedia (expedia.com) won’t get you the absolute lowest airfare, but doing so will simplify re scheduling and improve your chances for a refund when flights are delayed or canceled. AirHelp (airhelp.com) advocates on your behalf for com pensation. (It takes a cut if you receive anything.)
Be creative and flexible.
Attacks on ninjas are never expected. Get creative with flexible travel dates and routes. Changing routes can save money and even improve your experience. Returning from Spain, I was rerouted from Frankfurt to Atlanta — which turned out to be far less crowded and stressful.
Connecting flights are almost always cheaper than direct flights, but for parents, the direct flight is often worth a higher fare, especially with today’s higher risk of missed connections. A recent study found that the average family spends 26 percent of its flight costs on airport snacks. Pack what you can, bring empty, refillable water bottles and budget for meals during delays.
If you can’t avoid a layover, make it a long one. You reduce the risk of you or your luggage missing your second flight due to a delayed first leg. Since long layovers are awful, consider breaking up your trip with a stopover. Stopover deals have always been a good strategy for seeing more for less, and now
they can also save headaches. Icelandair has a famous stopover program (icelandair.com/flights/stopover), but you can arrange your own. Summer is high season in most of Europe, but in arid Seville, summer prices drop enough to cover the cost of a train ticket or short-haul flight to someplace cooler.
Take note of these secret resources. Ninjas have lots of secret techniques and information networks. Airlines became generous with their frequent-flyer programs during the pandemic, leading to a wave of devaluations. If you’ve got loads of points, use them now. Even devalued points are better than none, so keep using rewards credit cards. Remember, interest payments eat up airfare savings, so pay off your balance owed every month.
To find cheap fares, test different search engines. Over time, the best resources change, but Skyscanner (skyscanner.com) and Google Flights (google.com/flights) are pretty reliable. Sign up for alerts to avoid missing out on short-lived travel deals and to avoid disasters. Scott’s Cheap Flights (scottscheapflights.com) works a lot like a paid, personalized Travelzoo (a free service; travelzoo.com), but many deals are cheap enough to offset the membership fee. Even if you don’t collect points, join your airline’s frequent-flyer program to receive text alerts when your
flights change or are canceled, to help you beat the rush to reschedule.
Keep calm and ‘carry on.’ Despite luggage fees approaching the cost of a ticket, the odds of landing in the same place and time as your luggage have shrunk. Once your kids are old enough to pull their own (carry-on) weight through the airport, try to travel without checked bags. If you really need full-size suitcases, pack your carry-on with everything you need for the first 24 hours of your trip and consider purchas ing luggage trackers, such as Apple’s AirTags, which help you track any missing gear through a Bluetooth connection.
Flying these days can be stressful, and a lot of it is out of your control. But have you ever heard of a nervous ninja? Whether you take inspiration from secret spy societies or the British, sometimes you just have to make the best of things. Find a cuppa and take a deep breath. You will reach your destination — eventually. ■
Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet.
Written by Dr. Dan Siegel, world-renowned neuropsychiatrist and co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child,” the “NowMaps” book series takes kids and tweens on an adventure as they explore their thoughts, feelings and sensory experiences. Readers will learn to create an internal snapshot of their present-moment experiences, enabling them to navigate everyday challenges and face big emotions, such as disappointment, impatience,
sadness and anger, with kindness.
Here’s a high-watt light bulb of an idea: Keep the kids busy during Thanksgiving meal prep time by having them make holiday table decorations. Heck, for that matter, keep them busy for weeks leading up to Turkey Day. Here are five ideas we love. (Find more details and great holiday craft ideas at parentmap.com/crafts.)
Thanksgiving table topper
How about a craft that serves triple duty? With pine cones, crayons and some construction paper, kids can make pine cone turkeys. Stick crayons into the pine cones, and you’ve got adorable take-home table toppers for all of the guests at the kids’ table. Cut out a paper placemat (perhaps a coloring printout) for each place setting — the perfect fun mealtime activity.
Thank-you turkeys
Another use for the most flexible, affordable craft material we know — toilet-paper-roll tubes — is to make gratitude gobblers. Kids can make a turkey from the tube using a little construction paper, craft foam and googly eyes. Have them write (or you can) things they are thankful for on construction-paper feathers be fore gluing them on as the final touch.
Another inspired use for the classic handprint turkey is to make a
burlap and cardboard bag in which kids can stash their treasures. The elements couldn’t be simpler: burlap, cardboard, dried pasta and pipe cleaners (for stringing a handle).
Leaf place markers Talk about easypeasy! Have your kids gather a range of colorful fall leaves and press them dry. Then, with a decora tive pen (silver and gold are perfect), they can write the names of Thanksgiving guests and decorate place settings with them.
Thanksgiving tree
Want a lovely table decoration that reminds family and guests of the message of Thanksgiving? Find a broken tree branch in your neighborhood and secure it in a vase or container. Next (and this is an activity to repeat every year), cut out leaf shapes from construction paper and write down what you’re most grateful for that year. Secure the leaves to the tree.
— Jen Betterley
Never pay more than 15K, or 15% of your adjusted gross income, whichever is less.
Families making up to $350K qualify.
Find out if you qualify at: samisfoundation.org/eligibility-estimator or call the Admission Office at the Seattle-area Jewish day school of your choice.
This incredible opportunity provided by Samis Foundation
AFF ORD ABILIT Y
DAY SCHOOL INITIA TIVE