ParentMap Magazine December 2020 by ParentMap

25/

Our ‘Keep ‘Em Moving’ Gift Guide Tired of playing fitness coach? Try these sneaky exercise boosters in disguise!

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Christmas: Not Canceled How to embrace a meaningful, good-enough holiday season

D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 | PA R E N T M A P. C O M

ENTER TO WIN BIG! Big Gift Giveaway See p. 48

Momand-Pop Culture What American parents can learn from the childrearing perspectives of other countries 18/

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C ONTENTS

December

2020

PARENTMAP.COM In Every Issue Dear Reader It Starts With You(th) Crib Notes Play List Parent Day Jobs

6 8 12 30 47

Local Resources Faith-Based Schools World Languages Gift Guide Camps: Arts + Activities Schools + Preschools

14 23 24 33 44

Parenting IT STARTS WITH YOU(TH)

GIFT GUIDE

Meet Chayton Remle 8 This local youth demonstrates how the power of people working together fuels change WELLNESS

When Picky Eating 10 Is a Problem What parents need to know about a little-known eating disorder called ARFID

EDUCATION

Is a Faith-Based School Right for Your Family? What to consider in choosing the best school for your child’s education

18 12

Christmas: Not Canceled 43 How to embrace a meaningful, good-enough (yet socially distanced) holiday season Meet Jordan Posamentier 47 A child advocate and policy expert shares his advice for having tough talks that matter

37 Take time daily for you and your kids to soak up the sun, clouds, rain and fresh air — it’s just what the doctor ordered.

Feature 16

6 Resources to Support Bilingualism at Home 23 How learning a second language boosts your child’s cultural and global competency 3 Crafty Adventures for Fall and Winter Connect with nature in its quiet season through hands-on activities in the outdoors

HOLIDAYS

PARENT DAY JOBS

CRIB NOTES

Creating Calm in the Chaos Finding prenatal and postpartum peace during the COVID-19 pandemic

Get a Hop on Happy, Healthy Holidays 25 Tired of playing family fitness coach? Try these sneaky exercise boosters in disguise!

3 Ways to Foster a Growth Mindset in Kids 44 The road to success is not paved just by what you do, but by how you think

Mom-and-Pop Culture What American parents can learn from the childrearing perspectives of other countries

Family Fun December Play List: The Holiday Edition 30 21 festive ways to celebrate the ho-ho-holidays Foul-Weather Fun Is Good for Your Kids 37 Why time outdoors matters more than ever — and spurof-the-moment ideas to get out there, rain, snow or shine

25 PA R E N T M A P / D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 / 5

DE AR R E ADER

DECEMBER 2020, VOL. 17, NO. 11

Lost — and found — in translation In keeping with the theme of our annual “Think Global” issue, I went in search of foreign-language words and phrases related to crosscultural coping in This Pandemic Life. Here are a few new phrasebook entries I discovered on my quick lexical trip around the globe, er, Google. Andrà tutto bene: As the entire world braces to withstand another frightening spike in coronavirus cases, we should take heart in this comforting phrase that has become something of an incantation in Italy during the pandemic. Emblazoned on banners and ubiquitously shared on social media, it reassures us, simply, that “Everything will be alright.” Boketto: Less pejorative than “zoning out,” this Japanese word describes a prolonged, unseeing, vacant gaze into the far-off distance, as you contemplate … nothing at all … whatsoever … … … Sorry, what was I just saying? Cwtch: This adorable word-concept blends together a connotation of a snug cubbyhole with the Welsh word for a cuddle. When you give your child a cwtch, you create a safe physical embrace that will make them feel utterly cherished and protected from harm in the world. Friluftsliv: Step aside, hygge! There’s a new Scandinavian term in town, courtesy of the hardy Nordic nationals who believe that “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.” Roughly translated as “open-air living,” friluftsliv is a prescription for habitual outdoor adventuring for all ages in all weather. Kummerspeck: A German word that literally translates as “grief bacon,” kummerspeck is the culprit of the weight many of us have gained during the pandemic due to emotional overeating. Sometimes you just have to feed those feelings, and I personally concur that the feeling of inescapable lockdown boredom can be a bottomless pork-product pit. Samfundssind: An early contender for official coronation as Denmark’s word of the year by the Danish Language Council, samfundssind is defined as “putting the concerns of society higher than one’s own self-interest.” This long-mothballed term reemerged in 2020 as the buzzword of the coronavirus crisis for Danes, characterizing the social-minded spirit of goodwill and personal accountability that translated early on into national solidarity in response to the pandemic. Hugs-that-are-havens, therapeutic space-outs, nature Rx for what ails us (jump in 10 puddles and call me in the morning) and widespread enlightened community caretaking? Just imagine what a wonderful world it could be in 2021.

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Alayne Sulkin

What are you most looking forward to this pandemic holiday season?

EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR Patty Lindley OUT + ABOUT EDITOR Nancy Chaney DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Vicky McDonald

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Inspiring Virtual Programs for Students Offered by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Discovery Center Sign up for a real-time, interactive presentation with a Gates Foundation Discovery Center educator who will engage your students in a lively and thought-provoking conversation about pressing issues facing our world and how we can each make a difference. Subjects range from the science of COVID-19 to data literacy and an examination of our food system. The Discovery Center team of educators can tailor these experiences to your classroom. The Science of COVID-19 | Part I: Virus/Testing Part II: Vaccine/Therapeutics Student levels: Middle and high school This two-part virtual experience uses quizzes and conversations to help students understand the science of the pandemic and its impacts on diverse populations. COVID-19: In Context Student level: High school This engaging lesson invites students to process their differing experiences of the pandemic using art and language. Design Thinking Student levels: Elementary, middle and high school This collaborative discussion allows students to consider design as a process to solving problems. Quiz: How Well Do You Know the World? Student levels: Middle and high school, college This interactive quiz will fuel a conversation about global issues, our misconceptions of it and how we can do better. Global Goals, Local Action Student levels: Middle and high school, college Using the lens of the United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goals, this mics-on discussion invites young people to explore local community issues and leadership. Our Food System: Access and Inequity Student levels: Middle and high school In this virtual experience, students will take a critical look at the structures of the American food system, and how power and choice impact what we eat. Learn more and reserve your spot at discovergates.org/education-programs.

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It Starts With You(th)

Meet Chayton Remle This Indigenous youth believes every person can make a ‘gigantic change for the world’ By Patty Lindley When I asked Chayton Remle (Lakota, Hunkpapa) to describe the mission and work of the Clear Sky Native Youth Council of which he is part, his response perfectly captured the spirit of personally accountable activism: “We teach people about important issues and then try to fix them — that’s what it’s about. My role in the organization is to say that we should do this or we should do that — and then, we do it.” Remle, who is a 16-year-old junior at Edmond Heights K–12, has been active in efforts to protect the environment and steward Native rights, treaty rights and ancestral lands for most of his life. He has engaged in these efforts in various ways, from attending rallies and marches, to creating petitions, to speaking out about issues in public forums. Through his involvement with Clear Sky, a unique volunteer- and youth-centered program of the Urban Native Education Alliance (UNEA; urbannativeeducation.org), he has participated in projects and advocacy work that directly benefit urban Indigenous learners, educators, families and the wider Native community. Principally guided by a mission to promote educational achievement for Indigenous youth through mentorship, leadership, college readiness and Native arts programming, Clear Sky exists to enhance tribal identities, advance personal and collective growth and wellness, and advocate for justice, equality and

visibility in the broader Seattle community. These core values were manifested through environmental action in a big way in 2019 when Clear Sky, along with UNEA and the Native Warriors Athletics, successfully advocated for a Seattle Landmarks Preservation Board designation of Licton Springs in North Seattle as a site of historic and cultural significance for protection, restoration and preservation.

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“We got sad after a trip there, because of all the trash that was around the spring. So, basically, we all decided to make it a sacred site so it couldn’t get destroyed,” says Remle. Considered an ancestral place of spiritual and healing power for the Duwamish People since time immemorial, Licton Springs will now continue to serve as a unique ecological site for environmental learning for adjacent public schools Licton Springs K–8 School and Robert Eagle Staff Middle School as well as a place of gathering for the urban Seattle intertribal community. As a Clear Sky youth leader, Remle not only helped with the restoration of the site but participated in the production of a short video, “Saving Licton Springs,” that documented the project. More recently, Remle helped spearhead the development of an anti-smoking public education campaign. (“Native people have a higher chance of smoking — we start younger smoking and therefore do it for longer,” he notes.) “I just like how we get a feeling that we can make change. Saving Licton Springs was nice — now it can’t be destroyed. Doing stuff like that and the anti-smoking campaign — all of it makes me so happy,” says Remle. And what is his advice for other young people hoping to make change? “I would tell them that every single person has a gigantic change for the world. I think it’s important, because otherwise there would be no change, things would just stay the way they are. So, you should step up, try to find some people who will support you — and then do it, get it done and make a change.”

■

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Crib Notes

Creating Calm in the Chaos Finding prenatal and postpartum peace during the COVID-19 pandemic By Malia Jacobson

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Giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic can feel scary. It’s no surprise that anxiety and depression are affecting more new and expectant parents: A June 2020 study published in Frontiers in Global Women’s Health found that rates of moderate to severe anxiety and depression have more than doubled in pregnant women and new mothers during the pandemic.

Questions, uncertainty, fear and doubt are normal reactions when anyone enters a new stage of life, and they’ve long been hallmarks of pregnancy and new parenthood. This year, new parents have a whole new set of concerns related to COVID-19 and adhering to health and safety guidelines that continue to evolve. Thankfully, even during a COVID-era pregnancy, it’s

possible to find calm, comfort and community. Here’s how.

Speak up Uncertainty can fuel fear and anxiety, so don’t let unanswered questions about your baby’s birth linger. Clear up any questions you have with your provider and support team long before the birth, says postpartum depression specialist and psychiatrist Tuesday Burns, M.D., medical director of THIRA Health (thirahealth.com), a mental health treatment center for women and girls in Bellevue, Washington.

A more relaxed pace, fewer calendar commitments and less pressure to travel or visit far-flung family or friends with a new baby in tow also may be among COVID’s backhanded blessings. Getting answers to questions such as “What will happen immediately after my baby is born?” “How will the hospital staff make sure my baby is safe?” and “Who can join me in the delivery room during labor?” can be reassuring and help reduce anxiety, says Burns. “There’s always time to ask questions. Every question a new parent has is reasonable, and you deserve really thoughtful answers. Nothing should come as a surprise at the time of delivery.” Asking questions isn’t always straightforward, however. Cultural, language and racial differences can impact communication between pregnant patients and their health-care providers, making inquiries

about safety or planning regarding a birth seem intimidating or impossible. “We need to acknowledge the stress and anxiety around women of color wondering if people will listen to them and provide appropriate resources and culturally sensitive care,” says family nurse practitioner Rue Khosa, MSN, FNP-BC, IBCLC, the chief lactation officer and founder of The Perfect Push (theperfectpush.com), a birth support clinic based in Redmond, Washington. Before COVID-19, friends or family members could accompany expectant mothers to appointments to serve as advocates, but strict rules about who can join patients in clinics and hospitals have limited those opportunities. Patients can request medical translation services and extra time during appointments, or ask a family member or friend who can translate or serve as an advocate to join telehealth or virtual prenatal visits.

Acceptance and support It sounds counterintuitive, but accepting — even embracing — the realities of a COVIDera pregnancy can help new parents find peace, says Khosa. “I remember at first, pregnant moms had a lot of resistance to Zoom baby showers and things like that, and some preferred to just wait out the pandemic and have a celebration later on, once things were normal again. But you can’t hit pause on this time in your life. It’s a moving target.” That doesn’t mean the grief and anger new parents feel aren’t real or valid; those parents have every right to mourn the loss of the pregnancy they envisioned, notes Burns. “There’s definitely a mourning happening for all the stuff they’re missing out on. Even things like that belly rub from a stranger on the street that was an acknowledgement of the life inside you and a moment of human connection — that is missing now.” Sharing feelings of grief and loss with a counselor can help new parents mourn the losses they’re experiencing and move

them toward acceptance, says Khosa. “I’m a big fan of therapy, and there’s a lot of grief about the things new moms are not getting to experience.” Whether the grief stems from not getting a traditional baby shower or not being able to share your pregnancy and birth with your grandmother in another state, it’s valid and worth acknowledging, she notes.

Silver linings Pregnancy, birth and new parenthood during COVID are undeniably hard. But there are a few distinct upsides that seem to be emerging, including increased interest in breastfeeding, says Khosa. “I see more moms determined to breastfeed, with everything going on.” Even under the best of circumstances, birth and breastfeeding rarely play out as planned. But arming yourself with information and support before your birth is calming and empowering, and it helps make the experience less scary. New parents are taking note: More of them are planning ahead by connecting with birth and lactation professionals before their delivery date, says Khosa. “One of the silver linings of this very dark cloud is that I’m seeing a lot more prenatal consults,” she notes. “With lactation support, there are a lot of things we can troubleshoot before the baby gets here, and that has been such a blessing.” A more relaxed pace, fewer calendar commitments and less pressure to travel or visit far-flung family or friends with a new baby in tow also may be among COVID’s backhanded blessings. “Now is the time to go online and find your communities of support and talk this through with other parents going through what you’re going through, and picking and choosing what you want to be involved in,” says Khosa. “I recommend leaning into this as much as you can while allowing yourself to take all the breaks you need.”

■

Malia Jacobson is a health and family journalist.

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Is a Faith-Based School Right for Your Family? By Kimberly Blaker

If you’re thinking about sending your child to a faith-based school, there are many factors to take into account, as would be the case when shopping for any private school. Academics, enrichment opportunities, location and price are just a few of the things you’ll want to weigh. With faith-based schools, however, there are additional considerations when making an informed school choice that’s best for your family and your child’s education.

sider several factors. Begin by making a list of all the motivational reasons — “the pros” — for sending your kid to a faith-based school. This may include any of the reasons mentioned above, among many others.

Why do parents choose faith-based schools? Many parents of various faiths — and even those who don’t adhere to any organized religion — contemplate the idea of sending their kids to a faith-based school. For those mulling over a private school for their child, faith-based schools are sometimes a more affordable option. But there are other key reasons families may consider a faithbased education. Parents are often looking for a school that provides their child with one or more of the following:

■ Religious instruction that mirrors the family’s beliefs and instills faith in and obedience to God

■ An environment conducive to learn-

ing, including the benefits of smaller class sizes, the potential for more individualized attention and an emphasis on college preparation

■ A feeling of belonging to a community of shared values

■ A more convenient or safer option than other schools in the area

How to determine if a faith-based education is right for your family If you’re thinking about sending your child to a faith-based school, you’ll want to con-

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special education services, the dress code, the school culture, extracurricular options and more. Keeping in mind that beliefs and practices vary widely even within particular religions and among denominations, you will want to make sure that the values instilled by the school you are considering align with your own. To help you make that determination, take a tour of the school and talk to other parents whose kids attend that school. Then, ask school staff the following questions:

■ How is faith embedded in the curriculum? How much of the school day is spent on faith-based activities?

■ What are the school’s beliefs and

But in making a thoughtful decision, it’s also important to evaluate other aspects, such as the amount of time spent on religious studies, prayer and other faith-related activities versus academics; admission policies that may exclude or not adequately assist children with particular learning, behavioral or mental health challenges; the availability and variety of extracurricular activities; and more. How to choose a faith-based school that’s right for your family If you’ve weighed all the factors and decided in favor of a faith-based education for your child, the next step is to determine which school is right for your family. You’ll want to ask many of the same questions you would of any prospective private school, queries regarding tuition, financial aid, the curriculum, disciplinary policies,

teachings on gender, sexual orientation, race and other religions? How does the school promote and prioritize equality and acceptance?

■ If your family isn’t of the same faith,

can your child opt out of religious classes, chapel time, prayer and faith activities, and use that time to meditate, quietly express their own spiritual beliefs or do schoolwork?

■ Can students of other faiths celebrate their own religious holidays at school?

Choosing the right school for your child requires legwork. But by making an informed decision, you can alleviate significant stress for yourself and your child. It will also ease your child’s adjustment to the new school and reduce the likelihood of any regrets.

■

Kimberly Blaker is a freelance lifestyle writer and the founder of KB Creative Digital Services (kbcreativedigital.com), an internet marketing agency.

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Mom-and-Pop Culture What American parents can learn from the parenting perspectives of other countries

By Heidi Lynn Borst

Since our kids don’t enter the world bearing a convenient step-by-step instruction manual, parenting can feel like the ultimate guessing game. When it comes to raising children with character and values, we’ll take all the help we can get, so we seek advice from friends, family members or trusted online parent groups. Sometimes being a great parent requires thinking outside the box — or perhaps, in some cases, even thinking outside our borders. Five transnational moms offer inspirational parenting tips to help us elevate our child-rearing potential.

there running the house, so my parents never had to think twice about babysitters. If they had to go for a vacation, they just went, and if they had to go to a wedding for three– four days, they could just go.” Now a parent herself, Singhania helps perpetuate the close family connection she experienced growing up by traveling to India every year with her own daughters, staying for a month or more; reciprocally, her parents visit the family in the United

Focus on family and community connections In India, where the joint family system remains an important societal infrastructure, family comes first. San Francisco resident Vinita Singhania grew up in Barakar, West Bengal, in a multigenerational home with her parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents. This familial structure promoted a strong sense of community, one in which family bonds were strong, Singhania says. “We were not a lavish family; resources were few. We didn’t have separate rooms, and we shared everything, even a piece of fruit. It made us closer. There was always someone

The Singhania family, L to R: Anika, Vedika, Vinita and Navin.

States for as long as six months annually. “You can’t tell your kids everything you want them to learn — you have to show them. When we are in India, they see the village and the culture. They see us treating our family with respect, and they experience our traditions and customs,” says Singhania. To familiarize her daughters with the country’s traditional flavors, Singhania prepares one Indian meal daily. Every week, the family attends temple, where Singhania hopes her girls are learning and internalizing the core values and beliefs of their Indian culture and developing strong community ties. “Weekends are always spent with friends. We participate in Indian festivals and celebrate our traditions together; it becomes a big family because everyone has the same values,” says Singhania. Her close-knit family operates with an open-door policy and an emphasis on open communication. “When the girls were born, we kept their crib in our room for a long time; that way, you create that bond, that safety, that security. Later on, if they came in the room at night, I would let them sleep in our bed. Now, meals are a chance to bond with each other, and we share our problems. We work things out as a family, not individually,” says Singhania.

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Dispense mutual respect and plenty of love Born and raised in Tver, a Russian city northwest of Moscow, Shanna Fiszer relocated to America at the age of 19 during the wild ’90s, a decade defined in her native country by the fall of the Soviet Union, rampant crime and financial instability; she describes her younger self as “young, full of courage and on a mission.” For Fiszer, the effects of a rigid upbringing caused her to adopt a more easygoing parenting style. “In Eastern Europe, parents were pretty rough with their kids, and they still are. They are very strict. They yell and they spank. It’s a very different approach than I take; there’s no way I’m treating my son like that. My relationship with him is more like a friendship. He’s not scared of me, but I am an authority figure for him. He respects me. I talk to him about his feelings, because when I was growing up, no one really cared about my feelings,” says Fiszer. Though Fiszer prides herself on being a laid-back parent, she encourages her 7-year-old son, Josh, to connect with his cultural roots. The pair have traveled back to Russia several times, and Josh is learning to speak the language. “During quarantine, we started walking outside at least an hour a day, speaking Russian on our walks. He’s made a lot of progress, and now he’s taking Russian classes,” says Fiszer. Supplementary education is extremely popular in Russia, where parents keep their kids’ schedules packed with extracurriculars. While Josh participates in many different activities, Fiszer makes sure he is still having fun. She supports Josh’s pursuit of music, but rather than taking a punitive approach to learning (she was beaten on the hands as a child if she made a mistake playing the piano), she’s careful to encourage and praise her son’s hard work. Hiring a music instructor from her native country has been one way for her son to

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learn more about his background. “I found a Russian piano teacher who worked for a theater in Moscow, and she’s amazing. She’s very talented,” says Fiszer. Most of all, Fiszer wants her son to be carefree, which is a decided divergence from the demanding, tough-love mindset that governed her own upbringing. “He wears life like a loose garment — he’s so much more easygoing than I am. I just want him to be happy; [I want] to see that boy’s smile and that light in his eyes. He’s an easy kid to raise; I’ve been blessed in that respect,” says Fiszer.

cousins all have different tiers of respect. You have to call them by their title, then name. I teach my kids that when they see an elder like my parents, they fold their arms and bow, then say ‘Ah,’ a way of showing respect. When they ask us for something, I don’t just want them to say ‘Please,’ but ‘Please, Momma’ or ‘Please, Daddy.’ When they walk into someone’s house, I make them go say hello to all the elders, and the same goes when they leave.” In Vietnamese culture, gifts are seen as tokens of gratitude and appreciation. Mod-

Scurci family; photo by Chelsea C. Frandsen

Model selflessness and respect for elders When Vietnam native Cathy Scurci moved to the United States with her family at the young age of 3, her parents held on to their long-established Vietnamese cultural ideals, modeling a tight family unit. Scurci, who lives in Irvine, California, with her husband and three kids, strives to pass down the same values her parents inculcated in her. Foremost among them was a deep respect for elders, Scurci says. “Respect was huge growing up in my culture. Aunts, uncles and

esty and humility are exhibited at all times, and Scurci is proud of the selflessness — or absence of entitlement — her parents stressed. It’s a trait she hopes to cultivate within her own children. “I think with many Asian cultures, because people are less fortunate when they come here, they appreciate what they have. They are very appreciative of what people do for them, and they ingrain that sense of appreciation into their kids. I tell my kids to appreciate when people do something for them, not to expect it, and to be generous without being calculating. Everything is about oth-

ers first, then yourself. When we eat with others, we fill their plates with food first before we fill our own. The same applies for everything else,” says Scurci. Vietnamese parents view academic success as a way to advance an entire community’s success, not just the success of the individual. When it comes to education, Scurci says she’ll push her kids to aim high. “Growing up, my dad taught me that everything is in your mind. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. With education, if you shoot for the stars, you have a good chance of landing among the stars, right? If you try to go for the best, maybe you’ll end up close to the best.”

Emphasize education and travel, and be a good human Promoting a multicultural life for teenage daughter Yasmeen is central to Hanan Abdeen’s parenting goals; the Yorba Linda, California, resident incorporates aspects from both her American and Syrian Muslim roots in her approach. Born in the United States, Abdeen moved to Saudi Arabia with her Syrian parents as a

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baby and lived in the country for just over a decade. Education and exposure to other cultures are childhood highlights Abdeen has chosen to prioritize in her own experience of parenting. “My father was a professor, and each year a ticket overseas for him and his family was included in his salary. We visited a new country every year, and we came to the United States each summer, where my mom enrolled me in classes, from English

“In the house where I was raised, we didn’t close the doors; everybody’s room was open, and that’s how my house is, too.” to typing to computers.” Recently, daughter Yasmeen traveled to France, England and Ireland with a group of peers, then met up with Abdeen and her husband, Rami, in Germany. While her parents never forced her to study, they made certain Abdeen went to college and earned a graduate degree, an endeavor Abdeen expects her daughter to pursue. “I instill in my daughter that no matter what, she’s going to college. School has always been our number-one focus. I’m putting her in leadership programs and making sure she’s volunteering, and she’s also a tutor,” says Abdeen. Syrian children are raised to obey and respect their parents, and Abdeen stresses honesty and open communication with her daughter. “In the house where I was raised, we didn’t close the doors; everybody’s room was open, and that’s how my house is, too. I always tell my daughter that communication is the most important thing. If you don’t communicate, you will have a lot of problems, and

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honesty helps build trust.” Abdeen’s parenting method is also grounded in religious values. “There’s a misconception between the Arab culture and the Muslim religion, and I really like to differentiate the two, because the religion is a way of life. It’s a way to be every day. You have to be honest with yourself, honest with others, work hard, achieve whatever you can, pray the prayers you’re supposed to pray every day. We have a lot of pillars we have to follow, and those mold the kind of human being you become,” says Abdeen. Teaching her daughter can be a challenge in a culture where followers of their religion are still a minority. “I always tell [Yasmeen] that if you respect yourself and your religion, people will respect you. You have to show you’re a good person by the actions you take when dealing with others. Children are amazing. In all of this, love is at the center of it all. And I really just want my daughter to be the best human she can,” says Abdeen.

Laugh, love and look out for each other Sinéad Quinn-Biskup, a Seattle mom of three, was raised by her Irish parents in Australia, where the bond between her family members was strong. She hopes her own children are able to enjoy the same closeness. “The importance of family and always being there for your family can easily get lost. When I was growing up, if anyone was ever in trouble, there was always someone who would have your back. I teach that to my kids as well: You might be fighting now, but you’re going to be best friends for the rest of your life. I talk to them a lot about how their siblings are their best friends and strongest allies; no one is going to look out for you the way they will,” says Quinn-Biskup. A key component of Quinn-Biskup’s upbringing was humor; growing up in Australia meant being able to make fun of yourself and laugh with each other. “Having fun, not taking life too seriously and being able to

Sinéad Quinn-Biskup with her three children and husband Sasha Biskup

laugh at yourself are things that are really important to me. My kids still have manners — I’m strict about respect, saying please and thank you, and respecting your elders, and I was taught never to walk into somebody’s house without a gift. That was how I was brought up, but I’m pretty silly with a lot of things,” says Quinn-Biskup. Though she expects her kids to work hard, Quinn-Biskup doesn’t push them beyond their capabilities. “The pressure on kids to perform is insane; it continues to amaze me. It’s the hugest difference between my cultural upbringing and here. Everything here is scheduled. You try to plan a playdate and it’s like, ‘My child is free in four weeks at 3:30 on a Tuesday.’ When I came here, I thought, ‘That’s just what you do here,’ so I signed my kids up for everything. I was juggling so many activities with therapies, it got so crazy that I pulled them out and canceled everything. When do they have time to be a kid? In Australia, when you apply to college you don’t get extra points for playing the cello,” says Quinn-Biskup. “I teach my kids to turn up, do their best, see what happens without all that pressure.”

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Heidi Lynn Borst is an active mom, journalist and nutrition coach with a strong appreciation for nature, sarcasm and extra sleep.

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / WO R L D L ANGUAGES

How Bilingualism Helps Children Become Citizens of the World “What if we were to teach our children to see difference with eyes of wonder and curiosity, and not judgment and ridicule?” asks Erin Jones, a local education and systems consultant who teaches global citizenship. Sounds great, but what, you ask, is global citizenship and why does it matter? April Rinne, a consultant focused on the new economy, the future of work and global citizenship, writes: “Equally important is to understand what global citizenship is not: It does not mean having a lot of passport stamps, being a globe-trotter or a multinational corporation. Global citizenship is about values and mindset.” So, how can we inspire and cultivate global-mindedness in our children? Luckily, there are many ways parents can support this idea of “global-minded education” at home and with kids of all ages, and one of the best is to support their child in learning a second language. Knowing a second language is hugely helpful in developing a global citizen mindset. Aside from providing access to information through conversations, untranslated books and international news sources, studies have connected brain development to language learning.

During this time of interrupted school instruction, we’ve rounded up a babble of resources, many of them free, to support and sustain language-learning efforts at home.

a free online group license. Chalk Academy • chalkacademy.com Chinese and Korean language learners and teachers can access engaging activities, books, songs, multilingual teaching tips and YouTube content. Cost: Free. Duolingo • duolingo.com Choose from a variety of languages and learn from bite-size lessons presented in a game-based format. Cost: Base content is always free.

Campus Difusión • difusion.com This digital language-learning platform for Spanish teachers and students provides access to videos, online activities, projectable materials for the classroom, and sample units and audiobooks. Cost: Free. Better Chinese (Mandarin) • betterchinese.com This website is making its Chinese language lessons, for pre-K through college students, available for end users. Individuals can sign up for a free onemonth trial, and teachers can apply for

Bonjour!

ESL Library • esllibrary.com In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, ESL Library is offering its “Plus” subscription plan to all standard members; its printable lessons on pandemics and the coronavirus are also currently free for nonmembers. FluentKey • fluentkey.com Developed by language teachers for language teachers, FluentKey offers hundreds of educational videos in Chinese, English, French and Spanish. Cost: Basic subscription is always free; “pro” subscription is $9.99/month.

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Gemma Alexander and Tiffany Doerr Guerzon contributed to this article.

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Gift Guide

Happy, Healthy Holidays 16 gifts that get kids moving! By Malia Jacobson

Tired of prying kids off the couch? If you suspect your offspring have been less active this year, you’re not wrong. New research from the University of Southern California — emerging from one of the first studies on kids’ physical activity during the COVID-19 pandemic — confirms that kids have moved less and sat more during this time. School closures and canceled

activities widened the existing “exercise gap” between older and younger children, with older children being even less likely to break a sweat during quarantine. These popular holiday gift picks are sneaky exercise boosters in disguise, designed to spark both holiday joy and healthy physical activity. Wrap up one or a few and take a tiny break

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / GIF T GUIDE GIF T GUI D E

safe for newly mobile toddlers. It is also easy to clean and light enough to port from room to room or from playroom to patio. For more rock-around-the-block adventures, download the Little Tikes Play Big Skill on any Alexa-enabled Amazon device.

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from your role as family fitness coach — holiday bliss! Here’s to enjoying some merry movement, together.

Baby years (0–2) CHILDREN‘S SHOES

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Ikea Klappa Baby Gym, $35 (newborn and older) Tummy time is easier when baby is having fun. Ikea’s popular baby gym promotes visual development, healthy growth and hand-eye coordination for your littlest one. If your baby falls head over heels for the sweet hanging toys (it happens), the ladybug, butterfly and frog are detachable for close-up play. Playskool Fold ’n Go Elephant Tummy Time Toy, $26.99 (ages 3 months and older) Most baby activity mats are best used at home, but this one is good to go. Soft, crinkly and squeaky, this mat promotes sensory development with seven activities to keep babies moving. It’s also easy to stash in a diaper bag and tote to relatives’ homes over the holidays. Little Tikes Classic Rocking Horse, $29 (ages 1–3 years) Equipped with easygrip handles and a seat that prevents falling forward or backward, this classic rocking horse is

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Baby Shark Dancing DJ, $33.88 (ages 2 and older) Dance out the stresses of the year with everyone’s favorite toothy aquatic tot. Baby Shark Dancing DJ plays six remixes of your child’s favorite song to turn any room into a dance floor. Choose between game mode, dance mode and play mode to keep the dance party going all day.

Early years (3–5) Educational Insights – Nancy B’s Science Club Bug Discovery Lab & Incredible Insects Journal, $22 (ages 3 and older) Open playgrounds might be scarce this winter, but you can still keep your preschooler pumped up for outdoor exploration. This kit promotes STEM learning with a specially designed insect catcher that makes it easy to gather and examine creepy-crawlies up close, then safely set them free. Kids can record their findings in the enclosed journal, which is filled with fun facts, experiments and writing prompts.

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Antsy Pants Play Tunnel, $20 (ages 3 and older) When it comes to kids’ toys with staying power, the price of a $20 soft play tunnel may be the best money you can spend. This foundational piece of play gear promotes movement, imagination and creative play well into the school years. Use it on its own or to connect it to forts, tents or playhouses. When play is finished, it folds almost entirely flat.

Scoot Drone Hand-Operated Indoor Flying UFO Toy, $35 (ages 4 and older) Launching and following this hand-controlled drone will keep your preschooler active for hours. Scoot is made to use indoors without a remote, making it perfect for cooped-up kids on cold and drippy Pacific Northwest days. Most drone toys aren’t safe for little ones, but this one features a unique webbed shell that protects little hands (and your light fixtures) as kids launch and relaunch the hovering UFO-style drone. Blippi Ball Pit Mystery Adventure, $49.88 (ages 3 and older) Remember public ball pits? They provided total-immersion exercise and sensory play, but they were also germy as heck. Public ball pits may have become a thing of the past, but that doesn’t mean your kid has to miss out on the fun you remember from your childhood. This indoor/outdoor portable ball pit promotes movement, sensory development and motor skills. The 35 brightly colored balls include 10 filled with special surprises.

Elementary years (6–12) Throw Throw Burrito, $28 (ages 7 and older) When you need to burn off Taco Tuesday, pull out Throw Throw Burrito, an active board game designed to keep kids and families moving — and giggling. The

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newest game from the creators of Exploding Kittens, this indoor take on dodgeball is suitable for kids, grown-ups and family game nights. My Gnome on the Roam Adventure Kit, $30 (ages 3 and older) Whether your child is a prolific poet or a reluctant writer, this highly giftable set promotes movement, literacy and making memories. The kit includes the award-winning “Gnome on the Roam” storybook along with a blank adventure journal, a colorless ready-to-be-painted gnome and a magical pen. “After reading the storybook, families are encouraged to take their gnome out to explore the world beyond their own picket fence, to record their story and to share it with the broader community via My Gnome on the Roam’s app and social sites,” says author and creator Anne Armstrong, a mom and middle school teacher.

Nerf Rival Roadhouse XX-1500 Blaster, $24.99 (ages 14 and older) Getting teens outside during the winter takes a little parental ingenuity. Wrapping up this teen-approved toy will up your parental street cred — unlike other Nerf Blasters, this one is made specifically for big kids. It also comes with built-in safety features and doesn’t require batteries.

Kids won’t notice that they’re exercising as they run to retrieve the rockets — they’ll just know they’re having a blast. Garmin vívofit jr. 3, $79.99 (ages 4 and older) A fitness tracker that’s more kid-friendly than most, this one is water-safe and doesn’t require charging — the battery lasts up to a year. Kids can unlock games by completing physical activities and challenge friends and siblings to activity competitions, while parents can manage chores, allowance and screen time from the accompanying app. The band is designed to fit a smaller wrist; for kids 13 and older, consider the vívofit 3.

Holy Stone HS110D RC Drone with HD Camera, $59.99 For a trendy, they-won’t-know-they’reexercising electronics gift that won’t end up mangled and discarded come January, drop a drone in your cart. Teens’ step count will spike as they track this well-reviewed drone around the neighborhood. Its relatively long flying time and easy-to-use interface minimize the frustration factor.

Teen years (ages 13+)

National Geographic Sky Rockets, $19.99 (ages 6 and older) This affordable set takes learning to new heights — literally. Not only is this a rare STEM toy that incorporates physical exercise and outdoor play, it also comes in at under $20 and makes the most of winter’s early sunsets. Take the National Geographic Sky Rockets set into the back yard or the nearest park just after dark and launch foam-tipped rockets 100 feet into the air. Find more great gift ideas at parentmap.com/gifts.

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Beats Solo Pro Noise-Cancelling Bluetooth Headphones, $299 Desperate to get your housebound teen up and moving? Gift these impressive headphones and you can be sure they’ll want to go out and show them off. Sure, they’ll come in handy for remote learning and listening to music at home, but they’ll also encourage teens to take an extra lap or two around the block. For a more budget-friendly option, consider the

Just Dance 2021, $49.99 Sometimes, kids just need to dance. For a giftable game that keeps kids moving on rainy indoor days, scoop up Just Dance 2021. The twelfth game in the Just Dance series is set to release in November for Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Google Stadia, Xbox Series X, Xbox Series S and PlayStation 5. Co-op, kids’ and quickplay modes invite the entire family to bust a move. Just try to resist.

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Malia Jacobson is a health and family journalist based in Tacoma, Washington.

TS TOGETHER N E M O M Y IL M A F CELEBRATING

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Nightly Tree Lighting Emily the Elf Visits Holiday Market E D M O N D S H O L I D AY S .C O M

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December Play List 21 ways to celebrate the ho-hoholidays By Devon Hammer

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.

Step Afrika’s virtual Magical Musical Holiday Step Show

December is a month chockfull of seasonal traditions and holiday magic — and, boy, do we need these little tidbits of normalcy and celebration more than ever this year! Not all of the usual festivals and events we look forward to each December are happening, but some of them are! We’ve gift-wrapped some awesome virtual and in-person events to keep your spirits shining brightly this season.

1. Do sibling fights have you

ready to pull your hair out? Join ParentMap and positive discipline expert Julietta Skoog to learn how to foster lifelong friendships among your sweet little tyrants. Dec. 1, 2 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/live

Downtown Park to Redmond Town Center. Nightly, Dec. 3– Jan. 3. Free. parentmap.com/redmond-lights

3. Book your tix for a sparkling family stroll among beautiful and larger-than-life animal lanterns perched around Woodland Park

Bundle up, grab some cocoa and take a stroll through Redmond while gazing at festive light installations. This year, enjoy Redmond Lights all month long on a walking route from

Redmond Lights

Editor’s note: Please remember to wear a mask when coming within 6 feet of anyone outside of your immediate household and follow all advisories related to safe recreating outdoors (parentmap.com/stay-safe).

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Highlighted Events for December

Dec. 1

| Tuesday

ParentMap Live: Together Forever Fighting Fair and Fostering Friendship Among Siblings Online parentmap.com/live

Dec. 13

| Sunday

Virtual Hanukkah Storytime Online parentmap.com/ hanukkah-stories

Dec. 16

| Wednesday

Step Afrika! Magical Musical Holiday Step Show Online parentmap.com/step-afrika

Zoo for the holiday season. Through Jan. 17. $23.95–$28.95; ages 2 and younger free. parentmap.com/zoo-lanterns

Load the fam into the car for Fantasy Lights, a 2-mile drive through magical light displays set around Spanaway Park. Through Jan. 3. $15–$20 per car. parentmap.com/fantasy-lights

Celebrate Hanukkah through stories and songs at a special Virtual Hanukkah Storytime presented by the Stroum Jewish Community Center, the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle and PJ Library. Dec. 13, 10–11 a.m. Free; books for purchase. parentmap.com/ hanukkah-stories

Feel the heart-pounding beat and holiday magic of Step Afrika’s virtual Magical Musical Holiday Step Show. Gather the whole family for a viewing party on YouTube or Facebook. Dec. 16, 4:30 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/step-afrika

7. Explore the grounds of

Tacoma Nature Center on a guided nature walk around Snake Lake. Book a private family tour for up to four members of your household, and be sure to plan time to play at the center’s awesome natureinspired playground. Monday– Friday times available. $35 per family. parentmap.com/ tacoma-nature

Pacific Northwest Ballet’s “The Nutcracker”; photo courtesy Pacific Northwest Ballet

8. Join KidsQuest Children’s

Museum at Bellevue Square for a COVID-safe take on the museum’s annual gingerbread event. Register in advance to go on a candy quest at the Gingerbread Candy Shoppe, then grab your gingerbread house kit to create and decorate your sweet masterpiece at home. Dec. 16–19, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. $45–$50 per family. Additional kits available for purchase. parentmap.com/gingerbread

Climb aboard the Yuletide Express to visit Santa and his elves! Book your tickets for a 25-minute festive train ride through Snoqualmie Valley

and receive a special gift from Santa. Through Dec. 19, 9 a.m.–4 p.m. $24; ages 1 and younger free. parentmap.com/ yuletide-express

10.

Take a stroll around Lacey’s Huntamer Park, which is all decked out in holiday lights. This year, the city’s tree lighting celebration morphs into a monthlong light display made extra-special with holiday singalongs and a recorded story read by the Jolly One himself! Dec. 1–31, 5–8 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/lacey-lights

11. Snowflake Lane won’t

have its usual musical parade

this year, but there will still be plenty of holiday magic afoot in downtown Bellevue between Lincoln Square and Bellevue Square. Nightly through Dec. 24, 5–9 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/ snowflake-lane

12. The show must go on!

It might not be live, but the chance to see the Pacific Northwest Ballet’s iconic performance of “The Nutcracker” is more accessible this year. Get together with your pod for a viewing party to enjoy this breathtaking Northwest holiday tradition. Streaming Dec. 18–26. $39. parentmap.com/nutcracker

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FAM I LY F UN

DECEMB ER PL AY L I ST

S P O N S O RED EVEN TS

Dec. 5–6, 12–13, 18–19 Yuletide Express Ride the 25-minute Yuletide Express aboard an antique coach from Snoqualmie to the Falls. Enjoy cookies, Santa and more! Advance tickets only, $24. Sat./Sun. for three weeks, then Fri./Sat. for final weekend. TrainMuseum.org

Dec. 2020 George Balanchine’s ‘The Nutcracker’ Your holiday season may look a little different this year, but the magic of “The Nutcracker” can still be part of your tradition. pnb.org/nutcracker

Dec. 4–Jan. 3 Holiday Magic — A Festive Drive-Thru Experience Join us in Puyallup for a new drive-thru holiday event at the Washington State Fair. Breathtaking lights, whimsical holiday displays, sweet treats, Fair food and more. Select dates, Dec. 4–Jan. 3. thefair.com/holiday-magic

Warm Beach Camp’s The Lights of Christmas continued from page 31

13. You don’t have to give

up on visiting Santa this year. North Pole PR people are scheduling virtual or socially distanced family encounters with the big guy in the red suit — so you can keep your holiday tradition going. parentmap.com/santa-visits

16. Pop by Watson’s

Greenhouse to pay a visit to Donder and Blitzen during their annual vacation to Puyallup. Even during this nutty year, they’re still planning to come. Daily through Dec. 24. Free. parentmap.com/watsons

Dec. 5, 2020– May 2, 2021 Cruisin’ the Fossil Coastline Art and fossils collide in this exhibit on West Coast fossils and the remarkable stories they reveal through colorful murals, real fossils and more. burkemuseum.org

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15.

Venture to Stanwood for Warm Beach Camp’s new “drive-thru” edition of The Lights of Christmas. Greet Santa and other characters and view the beautiful light displays while you stay warm and cozy in your car. Select dates through Dec. 30. $20–$25 per car. parentmap.com/lights-ofchristmas

17.

14. Introduce your little ones to music and rhythm through play and dance. Join Music Center of the Northwest and ParentMap for a virtual Music Together class. Dec. 21, 9:30 a.m. Free. parentmap.com/live

Meet Santa, check out his sleigh, feed his reindeer and meet other exotic animals at Cougar Mountain Zoo’s annual Issaquah Reindeer Festival. Daily, Dec. 1–23 and 26–30. Price TBA. parentmap.com/ reindeer-fest

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Devon Hammer is ParentMap’s Out + About editorial assistant and a mother of two.

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PA R E N T M A P / D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 / 3 3

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

3 Crafty Adventures for Fall and Winter By Lauren Braden

It’s easy to see winter as the season of nature’s dormancy, a drab stretch of months with inclement weather and scant sunlight. But nature in winter is very much alive and it rewards curious children with its wonders. Connect with nature in its quiet season through arts, crafts and hands-on activities in the great outdoors.

observe as their sculpture is dismantled by weather and the passage of time.

Observe snowflakes, then make snow ice cream. If snow starts to fall, let its magic draw you outside. Bring a magnifying glass to see the different snowflakes, whose patterns and shapes are influenced by the amount of moisture in the air and the temperature. You can sketch the different snowflake patterns you see. Try catching snowflakes on your tongue to see what they taste like.

1. Collaborate with nature to make a

land-art sculpture. Search around the forest floor or a rocky beach. What do you see? An oak forest may be carpeted with acorns and leaves, while a beach may have many types of seashells. A land-art sculpture is created entirely from materials found in the environment and constructed within that environment, residing in harmony with the earth. After the children have collected some materials, they may choose to lay out a spiral pattern of pinecones, or perhaps a sunburst sculpture of fern fronds with rays made of aligned snowberries. Where to go for inspiration: Seattle’s Washington Park Arboretum is the place in the city for finding many different hues and shapes of fallen leaves and cones, and it provides wide-open spaces for assembling works of land art. Kids can also practice creating land art in their backyard with whatever cones, sticks, berries and leaves they may find there. Afterward, they can

low tide to Glass Beach, which is chock-full of tide-tumbled sea glass.

Comb the beach to fill a treasure jar. Prowl a local beach to find a variety of items — a unique shell, beach glass, sand dollars, a raven feather, a bit of sea fern. Lucky beachcombers may find a glass float, agate or starfish skeleton. Gather a few cups of sand into a zip-close bag, along with your finds. When you return home, assemble your beach relics into a large glass jar, first lining the jar’s bottom with the sand. Arrange the objects one at a time on top of the sand — be creative! Where to go for inspiration: Any sandy beach will do, but some beaches attract more treasures than others. For beach glass, scour the beaches at Fort Worden Historical State Park in Port Townsend. Older kids might handle the arduous 3-mile hike west from the park along the beach at

Did you know you can make ice cream from snow? Take about 8 heaping cups of fresh, clean snow and add it to a pre-whisked mixture of 1/2 cup sugar, 1 cup of milk and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract. Then, dig in! Where to go for inspiration: Finding freshly fallen snow in winter takes a bit of weather tracking and a bit of luck. For young novice snowshoers, you can’t beat the trail to Gold Creek Pond, located just a few miles east of Snoqualmie Pass. Even in the Puget Sound lowlands, we’ll get a snowfall right in our front yard about once a year, so keep your warm coat, gloves and magnifying glass handy by the front door.

■

Lauren Braden is a Pacific Northwest writer who focuses on recreation and local travel. She blogs at nwtripfinder.com.

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Take a walk in the woods How many fanciful snow people and deer can you spot on the trail? They are all handcrafted and decorated by the Bloedel crew. Make a wish for the New Year Write your hopes and dreams on an ornament and hang it on the community Wishing Tree. Give the gift of food Bring something for our canned food drive. We’re partnering with YWCA Kitsap County to help families in need this season. Book your tickets online Entry to Bloedel Reserve is by timed ticket only. No walk-ups. Masks are required. Book your tickets at bloedelreserve.org/tickets. Thanks to COMMUNITY PARTNER EVENT SPONSOR Fairbank Construction Company

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11/10/20

11:02 A

Out + About

Foul-Weather Fun Is Good for Your Kids Why time outdoors matters more than ever By Kate Hagan Gallup

Sure, the fall and winter days in the Pacific Northwest are shorter than a toddler’s attention span, but that doesn’t mean your kids should stay inside. Connecting to nature and experiencing the outdoors in all seasons is more vital during this pandemic era than ever before. Here’s why your kids need to go outside and play — rain or shine or snowflakes.

Nature is good for kids’ health “Being outside is essential for children’s healthy physical,

mental and interpersonal development,” says Kurt Beil, N.D., a clinician and researcher specializing in nature and health. “The research data are quite clear that kids who spend more time outside are healthier, do better academically and socially, have better focus and concentration, are more creative and have higher self-esteem. There is even evidence that it helps them be more generous, empathic and kind.” But how much nature time do

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kids need? It turns out that children need at least 120 minutes of time in nature a week. Referencing numerous research studies conducted over the past 15 years on the health benefits of time spent in nature, journalist Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods” and coiner of the term “nature deficit disorder,” describes exposure to nature as not just nice to have, but something we all “have to have for physical health and cognitive function.”

Zoom is not recess The reality is that due to current pandemic restrictions and limitations, our kids are experiencing so many things through a video screen — even recess. But according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Recess is unique from, and a complement to, physical education — not a substitute for it.” With the majority of students resuming the 2020–21 school year online, children are missing out on the physical opportunities of in-person instruction as well as free play outdoors. Luckily, most school curricula are still including time for recess in students’ schedules. But how does a child experience nature in 15- to 20-minute bursts? Here are some spur-of-the-moment ideas for parents to include a little outdoor time for their kids in the middle of the day:

• Create a nature table outdoors. Start a

collection of new rocks, plants, leaves and insects to study. Have the kids explore the science and biology behind their discoveries during their time indoors.

• Grow a winter garden. In the Pacific

Northwest, you can find many different options for winter cultivation, such as kale or ornamental cabbage. Let your child tend the plot and check on the plants’ progress daily.

• Imitate animals. Use their recess time

to explore the lives of favorite wildlife. Kids can try hopping like a bunny, flapping their “wings” like a bird and galloping like a

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Photo courtesy of hikeitbaby.com

horse. Also have them look around to see if they can find natural foods their animal would eat.

one of my personal favorites: making leaf confetti. (Find a great tutorial on Mother Natured; mothernatured.com.)

• Make leaf art. Take a short walk with your

• Do a lap around their personal

kids to choose some colorful leaves and ferns during a break. Set the leaves out to dry at home and before you know it, you’re ready to make a great leaf collage. Or try

obstacle course. Kong Academy (kongacademy.org) recently shared some great ideas for creating a “living-room ninja” course with the ParentMap audience, and you can extrapolate on this idea for the outdoors pretty easily, even if you have a small yard. (Find more ideas for indoor and outdoor playtime on ParentMap’s YouTube channel, parentmap.com/playtime.) You’ll be surprised by how much difference even 15 minutes can make when you incorporate fresh air, (intermittent) sunshine and even rain into your kids’ daily routine.

Go the distance — outdoors There’s nothing wrong with a little mud and water, and there is no age limit on jumping in puddles. Hike It Baby (hikeitbaby.com) contributor Samantha Reddy reminds us that jumping in puddles is one of the few activities through which we can really let kids loose to “misbehave.” In addition to the feeling of freedom puddle play gives,

the little bit of dirt encountered is good for the immune system. Hike It Baby offers a great way to organize nature walks in parent- and kid-friendly spaces near you. You can also try more advanced outdoor activities, such as kayaking and snowshoeing, through The Mountaineers (mountaineers.org), which offers summer camps and after-school programs for kids ages 2–16. (Currently, its programs are operating in a modified format in alignment with COVID-19 health and safety protocols.)

The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house all that cold, cold, wet day.… All we could do was to sit! sit! sit! sit! And we did not like it. Not one little bit. — “The Cat in the Hat” by Dr. Seuss Another outdoor activity popular with kids is geocaching — it’s like going on a real-life treasure hunt. Get started by checking out our geocaching 101 guide at parentmap.com/geocaching. Parents also may want to visit the Children and Nature Network (childrenandnature.org), which offers a large library of health and nature information and related toolkits for families.

Cruisin’ the Fossil Coastline Where art and fossils collide

December 5, 2020 – May 2, 2021 Burke Museum, UW Campus burkemuseum.org/cruisin Advance tickets and masks required. Organized by the Anchorage Museum and supplemented with Burke Museum collections and stories. Art: Ray Troll, 2013.

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If you’d prefer to take the family on a DIY adventure, here are some tips to help make it a success. And even if you’re planning to take a short hike, it’s always best to be prepared for a longer trek — which includes wearing the right clothing.

• Go the (right) distance. On average, kids can hike a

half-mile per year of age. If your hike is longer than this distance, be prepared to carry or cart your child part of the way.

• Pack more than a first aid kit. Pack your own supplies and know how to use them. Provide each child with a small bag containing emergency supplies, on the rare chance you become separated. As with all hikes, you’ll

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continued from page 39

want to bring along the 10 Essentials (wta.org/ten-essentials).

• Bring water. The rule of thumb is 4 cups FD20_careworks_1-8v.indd 1

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of water per adult per hour and 1–2 cups per child over the same period of time. Bring enough food for both snacks and emergencies.

• Plan your trip. Study area trail maps and FREE parenting webinars and at-home kids’ activities

check social media for updates on current conditions. Check weather reports and plan for possible sudden changes in conditions.

Remember that your outdoor adventure isn’t an all-or-nothing gamble — establish a reasonable goal and set a comfortable pace for all hikers.

(Discover scads more ideas for mud play at parentmap.com/mud and parentmap.com/mud-kitchen.) For variety, try these other impromptu ideas for exploring nature:

• Can’t beat the classics. Games like hideand-seek and kickball never get old.

• Go on a treasure hunt. Create a scavenger hunt, with a prize of some delicious hot cocoa with marshmallows at the end of it. For great ideas on creating a backyard or neighborhood scavenger hunt, see parentmap.com/treasures.

Your bigger, bolder outdoor play In addition to these more scheduled activities, try some DIY free-play ideas. Don’t just make mud pies — make an entire mud kitchen. Build kitchen counters or islands with boxes; gather pots and pans; and even create a pizza oven and dining table for your budding tot chef. Explore the space you have and cook up some fun.

ParentMap.com/live

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Photo courtesy of entangledharmony.com

• Build an obstacle course. Use that discarded summer gear (pool noodles, anyone?) to create running hurdles or zigzags. Incorporate steps, hops and jumps as the terrain allows. Find more awesome ideas for obstacle courses at parentmap.com/obstacle.

• Rediscover your backyard. From a DIY

musical wall to a fairy garden, these terrific and super simple ideas can help you reimagine your kids’ outdoor play space. parentmap.com/backyard

How to Dress Your Child for Outdoor Fall and Winter Fun Dr. Kurt Beil explains, “Multiple decades of outdoor-school-type programs have shown that spending time outside, even in cold or rainy weather, is beneficial to children’s levels of happiness, satisfaction and sense of well-being.” As children get more physical activity, the activity itself may support “a stronger immune system to fight off seasonal colds and flus. As long as they have the right clothes and a place to warm up, get them outside for at least an hour a day all year ’round.” Follow this three-point plan to keep small bodies dry and warm: • Start with a thermal layer — Think long johns and wool socks for temperatures below freezing, and perhaps a layer of regular indoor clothing if temperatures are warmer.

Photo courtesy of prekandsharing.com

• Jump in a leaf pile. It’s a great reward for helping clean up the yard.

• Write secret messages in the sand. Then let the nearby lake or ocean waves wash them away.

• Stay up to stargaze. Winter nights come early and provide clear skies for future stellar explorers to contemplate.

It doesn’t really matter how you get your children outdoors, only that you don’t let a little rain stop you. Whether a lot or a little, take time daily for you and your kids to soak up the sun, clouds, rain and fresh air. After all, it’s just what the doctor ordered.

■

Kate Hagan Gallup is a freelance writer who uses her digital information skills to help share her passion for parenting, eco-consciousness and healthy living with a larger audience.

• Add a middle insulating layer — This would be your everyday clothing, such as sweatshirts, fleece pants or jeans, which goes over the top of your thermal base. Don’t worry, extra padding just adds a layer of protection from falls caused by overly exuberant fun. • Finish up with an outer shell — An outer shell consists of windproof and waterproof coats and rainboots for wet conditions, or gloves, hats, snow pants and boots for snowy conditions. A rainsuit is a popular outer layer in the Seattle area, for obvious reasons. In addition to choosing the right clothes, be sure to monitor and adapt to weather conditions. Be aware of the effects of sun exposure, wind chill, soggy clothes and the length of time spent outside. (Consult our winter weather guide for more great clothing and gear ideas to help keep your kiddo warm and dry, at parentmap.com/raingear.)

PA R E N T M A P / D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 / 4 1

Holidays

At Home for the Holidays A guide to celebrating a meaningful (yet socially distanced) holiday season By Gemma Alexander

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Even in the best of years, the holiday season is a paradoxical balance of stress and joy. This year, trying to pull off all the decorating, cooking, baking and shopping amid pandemic precautions can feel overwhelming, yet at the same time, we desperately miss the parties and family reunions.

Many of us are ping-ponging between the urges to call the whole thing off and to just ignore the pandemic and host that big extended-family get-together anyway. But neither of those options is healthy. With the right mindset, it is possible to have your holidays this year, and to enjoy them.

are going wrong, we shouldn’t give up on the holidays.

spend a lot of time together.” And that is what the holidays are really about.

“The holidays are a supercharged time of year,” says Liz Covey, a licensed therapist and parent coach. In a culture that prioritizes practicality, the holidays are the one time when we are encouraged to seek meaning.

Better living through technology

“Ritual is the way we collectively participate in meaning, and it also has to do with how we structure our lives in pointing towards the next event that brings us together, and hopefully brings joy,” says Covey. So much of life — especially parenting — is mundane. Holidays and the rituals that accompany them allow us to carve time out of routine and make space for togetherness. “It’s how we work as people,” says Covey. In fact, she says, there is research linking an absence of participation in ritual with some psychological struggles. When times are tough, we might need the holidays more than ever.

The risk is real Although canceling the holidays isn’t good for our mental health, the physical health risks of a “business as usual” holiday season cannot be ignored. Office parties and traveling to visit family not only increase your own risk of becoming infected with the coronavirus, they increase the risk that you could infect the people you care about.

Christmas is (not) canceled Remember all those old TV specials, the ones in which the grown-ups sadly declare, “We’ll just have to cancel Christmas this year”? Somehow, Santa always manages to save the day. These stories of Christmas in peril might have been preparing us for 2020, because even when things

In some ways, social distancing has thrown families into a sort of “Little House on the Prairie” type of situation in which DIY, home-based activities replace social and commercial group events. But no matter how heartily sick we may be of communing via Zoom, there is no doubt that at least some of our holiday cheer will be filtered through a layer of technology. “In perfect American style, I feel like we leapt on the new technology and did it to death,” says Covey. The trick is to be more deliberate about how we use our technology tools. “Kids don’t want to sit still and listen to talking heads,” she says, especially when they have to do that for school all week long. “We’re putting a lot of pressure on kids to meet adult standards,” says Covey. Instead, keep calls short and engaging. Play games such as Hangman or 20 Questions. Have the kids give a performance, receive applause and then go play while the grown-ups keep talking. Or let kids text instead — even little kids can communicate with grandparents using emojis and photos. It doesn’t matter what the medium is, the point is to make a connection. continued on page 45

“Parents really have to be mindful this year, because a lot of those rituals that we participate in usually are group events,” notes Covey. No matter where you draw the line regarding your own personal risk tolerance, this year will involve a lot less travel and socializing. “It is a loss,” admits Covey, “but it’s also got this silver lining, which is that families get to be closer — and sort of have to be closer. Families get to slow down and

PA R E N T M A P / D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 / 4 3

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / S CH O O L S + PR ES CH O O L S

Three Ways to Foster a Growth Mindset in Our Children By Melissa Benaroya, MSW, LICSW

It turns out that the road to success is not paved just by what you do but, more importantly, by how you think. World-renowned psychologist and “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” author Carol Dweck, Ph.D., has conducted decades of research to shed light on the power of mindset in fostering accomplishment. There are only two mindsets, which makes the choice simple: a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. Dweck’s research continues to demonstrate that our greatest potential can only be fully actualized by cultivating the former.

Growth mindset vs. fixed mindset Someone with a growth mindset believes that traits can be developed and improved. Their primary impetus is to improve, and they embrace and welcome challenges. They believe that effort is necessary to develop useful skills and master talents. These individuals persist in the face of obstacles, see failure as an opportunity to learn and enjoy the process because they are not solely focused on the outcome. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that traits, talents and abilities are innate, static and cannot be improved. Their primary desire is to “appear” smart or talented, and thus they tend to avoid challenges in order to save face and maintain appearances or status. When confronting obstacles, such individuals are likely to give up easily or place blame on other people or factors as a way of preserving self-esteem.

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Here are a few simple practices that will reinforce and guide our children (and ourselves!) toward adopting a deeper, truer growth mindset. 1. Use encouragement. The message we send in response to our children’s efforts is going to have the deepest impact on the likelihood of their success. Contrary to popular belief, encouragement is not the same thing as praise; it is an acknowledgement without judgment. Praise focuses on what are believed to be natural talents or traits and can take the form of statements like “You did so well, you are so smart,” “You are a natural” or “Wow, your [fill-in-the-blank] skills are amazing!” Instead, a parent should concentrate on the process or effort: “Wow, it looks like you worked really hard on that project” or “I noticed that you really take on a challenge, even when things are difficult.” Directing your energy and attention on the effort and/or process will help pave your child’s road to success. 2. Respond to setbacks as opportunities for learning and improvement. Mistakes are simply opportunities for learning. How we respond to our children’s failures, setbacks and challenges will be one of the key factors in influencing their future success. Responses that encourage learning and improvement might include “It sounds as if you are disappointed with your grade on the math test — what do you think you could have done differently to prepare?” or “I noticed you are really frustrated trying

to get all your homework completed on time — are there any strategies that I can help you with that would allow you to get it done in a more timely manner?” Setbacks provide a perfect opportunity to coach children to come up with their own solutions or to ask them if they would like assistance in coming up with a plan for themselves. 3. Model a growth mindset as a parent. Even as adults, we are still learning, growing and making mistakes. It is imperative that we model our own process to our children. Talk to them about the challenges you are currently having, or obstacles you experienced when you were their age and some of the things you have done to overcome them. Kids love to hear stories about their parents’ childhoods! Having a growth mindset comes easily to some because they grew up with parents or mentors who fostered its development. Yet we can all embrace and practice the right mindset, and in the process, motivate ourselves and our children to lead, love and grow.

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Melissa Benaroya, MSW, LICSW, is a Seattle-based parent coach, speaker and author. Visit her website, Childproof Parent (childproofparenting.com), for more great tips on common parenting issues.

H OL I DAYS

every activity for potential COVID-19 risk is fatiguing, “it makes us really selective about what we do. We whittle it down to what works,” she says. Using the activity-building model of play therapy, Covey suggests a recipe for parents who are trying to create a meaningful holiday. The four ingredients for meaningful activities are: 1. Structure 2. Nurture 3. Engagement 4. Challenge

continued from page 43

Recipe for meaning “We want to keep [the instillment of meaning] at the center,” says Covey. “I think the gift of this year is that there’s no expectation of the common routine.” Although the additional layer of stress in evaluating

Whether it’s experiencing The Elf on a Shelf or lighting Hanukkah candles, rituals meet the need for structure. These activities provide meaning and continuity, but they only nurture when they include an element of warmth.

tivity list. If kids aren’t interested or parents act like drill sergeants, there won’t be much joy in the togetherness. Engagement is your chance to get creative and make things fun and unexpected. Hide presents like you hide Easter eggs, play games you don’t normally have time for. Don’t worry if things seem too silly; Covey says that during the pandemic, you can skew activities a little younger than your kids’ ages. But even if we all regress a bit under stress, we still need the fourth element, challenge, to be part of the mix. Gently push each other out of your comfort zones. That might mean encouraging a younger child to speak up on a Zoom call with relatives, a middle schooler to reach out to their friends, or your teen to talk more openly about their feelings.

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HO L I DAYS

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No one should expect that simultaneously making a favorite dish while chatting on Zoom with a faraway relative is as good as a kitchen full of family, or that texting pictures of a pie is as good as sitting down together to eat it. “We want to see [holiday traditions] for what they are — they’re symbolic. They’re a gesture. It’s not going to be like normal. It’s a placeholder until we can do things safely again,” says Covey. These symbolic rituals that honor our past traditions are not as good as what we did before the pandemic, or what we will do after it. But they can be good enough for now. Quarantine-good holidays may be a bit of a hard sell to the kids, who can be even more attached to traditions than adults. Covey says the TV show “Nailed It,” in which amateur bakers are set up to fail, with hilarious results, is an excellent model for approaching the holidays this year. “I think the best way is to be lighthearted and use humor,” says Covey. If parents model a can-do attitude and laugh at the inevitable absurdities of a socially distant holiday, kids will follow suit. Of course, when so many treasured experiences are out of reach, it’s natural to feel disappointment and even grief some of the time. But remaining hung up on high expectations or mired in grief makes it impossible to fulfill a parent’s role of leading the way to a good-enough holiday season during a hard time. For some parents, especially single parents, those who are out of work or those who have lost loved ones to the virus, approaching the holidays with humor and joy may be too tall an order. “There are going to be people who aren’t able to do this, and those parents who are really struggling should reach out [for support],” says Covey. Whether it means talking to a therapist, a parent coach, support group, family or friends, some parents need more help to carry the family through the holidays. Getting help when you need it can make the difference between just surviving the holidays and enjoying a meaningful, good-enough holiday season.

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Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet.

Parent Day Jobs Meet Jordan Posamentier This child advocate shares his honest policy for having tough talks that matter By Patty Lindley

As the director of policy and advocacy at Committee for Children (cfchildren.org), Jordan Posamentier’s day job has a lot more to do with your family’s nightly dinner-table conversation than you might think. Considered the global leader of research-based education programs that advance the safety and well-being of children, the Committee for Children continuously evolves innovative initiatives related to three chief pillars of activity and advocacy: social-emotional learning, bullying prevention and child protection. We spoke with Posamentier in the dicey days after the presidential election about the work the organization is doing to support educators, students and families during the pandemic, and how parents can best help their kids thrive in testing times.

How does the mission of Committee for Children trickle down to directly impact families? It might help to think of Committee for Children as a comprehensive problem-solver. We try to work with not just schools, but also with families, through campaigns [like our recent “Captain Compassion” campaign, focusing on racebased bullying prevention] that provide web resources and innovative solutions. For example, we have a text-based innovation where veteran parents can help new parents in the moment around social-emotional learning. When it comes to policy, we try to create sustaining and enabling conditions through legislation, so that we can advance social-emotional learning in really smart, equitable and high-quality ways.

How has COVID-19 influenced the standing priorities of the organization? During the pandemic, and with increased focus on racial injustice, our work has shifted considerably over the past several months. There is a greater intensity first on helping kids and families through these trying times as well as advancing issues of equity, while at the same time working to provide immediate resources for families and educators as we go through these most novel approaches to learning and child development. We know we still have a long way to go, but we are doing our best to make sure that social-emotional learning can still happen remotely. For educators in particular, we are developing a social-emotional program for adults, so they can take care of themselves, while at the same time being better supports for their kids. Has your work helped you grow as a parent? I hadn’t prioritized social-emotional learning in my previous education policy work. But with this organization, I can take a step back and reevaluate — what do we really care about in growing our kids into young people, and then adults? You sort of cross a threshold in the SEL world, and you realize, you know what? The stuff I’m thinking about as a grown-up, it’s about relationships and how I communicate clearly. It’s not what’s the main idea of the paragraph or how do I do long division. Those matter, but what makes life meaningful, where I want my kids to be okay, is in their social and emotional lives. And that’s really what I value — and really came to embrace — working with Committee for Children.

Photo courtesy of Committee for Children

You’ve been a public school teacher, you’re a lawyer, and now you help influence policy and legislation. You’re also a dad! How do your professional experiences inform your approach to discussing complicated topics with your young daughter? I do have a bit of an advantage getting to sit in a space that focuses on social-emotional learning all the time. And I get to work with my daughter on them. It’s sort of like my own little pilot program. I let her feel what she wants, and I check in with her. I meet her where she’s at: She’s 6 and a half years old right now. For the election and all the jitters around it, I tried to be level, so that whatever I was feeling didn’t wash off on her. She’s watched her parents, their eyes glued to that U.S. map of red and blue, and I think at times she probably rather wished we were just playing freeze tag with her. But you know, we just have very level conversations. We use them as a learning opportunity. I try to put in perspective that we do have control over aspects of our lives that our leaders can’t mess with one way or the other. We’ll keep bringing good into the world, we’ll keep forming relationships with those who are near and dear to us. We’ll keep reaching out to new folks, with whom we seek to be in relationship. These are all things that anybody can do, no matter who’s in charge.

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