ParentMap December 2021 Issue by ParentMap

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Your December Play List Lights, salmon, action! Top holiday events and outings for PNW families

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Let It Show, Let It Show, Let It Show! Live performances are back, and we have a lot to choose from this season

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PNW INSIDE + OUT

BIG GIFT GIVEAWAY Over $3,100 in prizes for local families! P. 36

Home for the Holidays Festive ways to make the season merry and bright

HEALTHY YOU DO SO MUCH TO KEEP THEM

KEEP IT UP BY SEEING A DOCTOR

AT BLOEDEL RESERVE December 4, 2021–January 9, 2022

An All-Ages Outdoor Holiday Experience Bundle up and make a visit to Bloedel Reserve.

Take a walk in the woods How many fanciful snow people and deer can you spot on the trail? They are all handcrafted and decorated by the Bloedel crew. Make a wish for the New Year Write your hopes and dreams on an ornament and hang it on the community Wishing Tree. Give the gift of warmth Consider bringing new, or clean, good-quality, used winter clothing to our collection box. This year we’re partnering with Kitsap Immigrant Assistance Center to help families in need. Book your visit online today Bloedel Reserve is open Tuesday–Sunday, 10 AM to 4 PM. Tickets are available at bloedelreserve.org/tickets. Thanks to our Community Partner

Open rain or shine bloedelreserve.org

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The best time to see a doctor is now. Regular doctor visits are one more way to keep you and your family healthy. At PacMed, we’ve added more doctors to our diverse team for in-person and virtual visits, and have hours that ﬁt your busy life. Keep yourself and your family healthy at PacMed.org.

PacMed is a trademark of Paciﬁc Medical Centers.

C ONTENTS

December

2021

PARENTMAP.COM In Every Issue Dear Reader Play List

4 24

Local Resources Schools + Preschools Camps: Arts + Activities Faith-Based Schools Gift Guide World Languages

22 28 31 36 45

Parenting PARENT DAY JOBS

WELLNESS

COVID-19 Vaccines and Pregnancy What prospective and new parents need to know

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

It’s the Thought That Counts 10 How to manage your children’s holiday gift expectations COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT

Teens Find Their Voice — and Family — at Totem Star 19 Local nonprofit teaches more than just music EDUCATION

5 School Lunch Ideas From Around the Globe 16 Pack an internationally inspired brown bag lunch that your kid will be thrilled to unwrap Fight the Pressure to Overschedule Your Children 10 expert tips to avoid the pitfalls of school-year overdrive mode Recipes for Success 5 foolproof tips for baking with your preschooler

Meet Caroline Wright, “The Soup Lady” 46 This local author’s latest cookbook ladles up a moving story of community, love — and healthy recipes

Feature Pandemic Rebound 12 Five ways to stimulate your child’s brain development, with support at every step

16 From splurges to steals, fabulous arts options abound that will get your family through the holidays and into the new year.

Family Fun OUT + ABOUT

December Play List 24 Lights, salmon, action! Top holiday events and outings for PNW families Let It Show, Let It Show, Let It Show! 26 Live performances are back, and we have a lot to choose from this holiday season

The Benefits of Raising a Polyglot Tot 45 How to reap the developmental advantages of bilingualism

GIFT GUIDE

Photo by Joshua Huston

10 Hottest Toys for the 2021 Holidays 37 Grab these gizmos and games before they’re gone

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DE AR R E ADER

Here’s to ‘making our world bigger again’ in 2022

DECEMBER 2021, VOL. 18, NO. 12

PUBLISHER

Alayne Sulkin EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR Patty Lindley

ParentMap has traditionally pegged its December installment of the magazine as its annual “global” issue. This umbrella theme has inspired coverage of a wide range of topics over the years, depending upon the current parenting zeitgeist. For the second year in a row, we remain hampered by the constraints of the pandemic in practically every aspect of our lives. Though connotatively and actually “global” in its very nature — posing as it does a universal threat to all families on Earth — the COVID-19 pandemic telescopes our attention inward, refocusing it to home-front concerns about our individual family’s survival. We’ve made our worlds small so that we can remain safe.

OUT + ABOUT EDITOR Nancy Chaney DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Vicky McDonald

COPY EDITOR Sunny Parsons CONTRIBUTORS Gemma Alexander, Heidi Borst, April Chan, Annie Garrett, M.Ed., JiaYing Grygiel, Devon Hammer, Rachel Knecht, Rebecca Mongrain, Susan Newman, Ph.D., Kali Sakai

No more pandemics, ever!

DIGITAL MARKETING DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER Lindsey Carter EMAIL + SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST Angelica Lai

For parents of “pandemic born” newborns and toddlers, Garrett notes, “If there is one thing I have gained from the pandemic … it’s a deeper appreciation for [the family] village. I didn’t know just how desperately we needed it, until now.”

ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES ASSISTANT Angela Goodwin

No matter their kids’ ages, all parents have had parched prospects over the past two years when it came to patching together ways to make our COVID-19-winnowed world “bigger” for their families. Our annual holiday arts and events traditions — most of which were shuttered or virtualized in 2020 — are in normal years some of the most engaging ways we remain connected to our local and global cultural communities. With COVID-19 vaccines now available to safeguard our younger kids, those cherished experiences are back! Get to planning an epic month of festive outings with our sampler of sensational shows (Let It Show, p. 26) and “nice list” of holiday delights (Play List, p. 24). My world felt instantly bigger just reading all about them.

EVENTS

DIGITAL MARKETING COORDINATOR Taryn Weiner

ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS SENIOR ADVERTISING AND PARTNERSHIPS MANAGER Ida Wicklund

Fresh water for all (plus wine for the moms)

ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES MANAGER Jessica Collet

CLIENT SERVICES PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Mallory Dehbod SALES + OPERATIONS ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Rachel Howard

That emotion regulation techniques were considered as imperative as algebra in education

EVENT OPERATIONS Brenna McCown

ART + PRODUCTION SENIOR DESIGNER Amy Chinn

ADMINISTRATION

No social media

BUSINESS MANAGER Carolyn Brendel

PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD

CONTACT INFORMATION

Benjamin Danielson, M.D. CLINICAL PROFESSOR, UW SCHOOL OF MEDICINE PRACTICING PHYSICIAN, UW MEDICINE

Advertising information 206-709-9026 or advertising@parentmap.com Fax 206-709-9031

Joan Duffell RETIRED EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN

Calendar submissions calendar@parentmap.com

John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON Laura Kastner, Ph.D. PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON Bea Kelleigh VICE PRESIDENT, DOVETAILING, LLC

The ParentMap team wishes every family, near and far, a brighter (one more time: and bigger!) world this holiday season and in the new year ahead.

Yaffa Maritz, M.A. FOUNDER, LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTING

— Patty Lindley, managing editor

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MINDSIGHT INSTITUTE

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Relief from economic stressors that prevent parents from feeding and clothing their family

OUT + ABOUT EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Devon Hammer

When local parent education expert Annie Garrett submitted her feature about her experience teaching parent-newborn cooperative classes for PEPS during the pandemic (Pandemic Rebound, p. 12), I was particularly taken by her No. 1 recommendation for parents who may be concerned about the cognitive and social development of littles born during this testing crisis: Find ways to make your world bigger again.

In this month’s Parent Day Jobs (p. 46), we share the “survived and thrived” story and words of Caroline Wright, a local cookbook author and mother of two who defied the odds of a terminal diagnosis, fueled by unshakable mother courage, and nourished by the power of community and the healing elixir that is … soup! Her inspiring journey is such a resonant reflection on this theme of making the world bigger for our children in the face of fear, devastation and the potential for loss.

If you had a magic wand and could wave it to give a gift to the world, what would you wish for?

Editorial submissions editor@parentmap.com Distribution distribution@parentmap.com Subscriptions subscriptions@parentmap.com Administration 206-709-9026, parentmap.com Subscription rates 1 year: $12

Ron Rabin EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, KIRLIN CHARITABLE FOUNDATION

ParentMap is published monthly. PMB #190, 7683 S.E. 27th St., Mercer Island, WA 98040 | All rights reserved; reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited. © ParentMap 2021 • printed in Oregon

Good job keeping your child healthy. Keep it up by seeing a pediatrician. There’s no better way to keep your child healthy than by regular visits to your pediatrician, and there’s no better time than now. Schedule an appointment today. marybridge.org/primarycare

Timed online tickets are required PRESENTED BY

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Wellness COVID-19 Vaccines and Pregnancy What prospective and new parents need to know

Washington State Department of Health (DOH; doh.wa.gov) officials want to reassure pregnant and lactating people, along with those who wish to safeguard their fertility, that the available COVID-19 vaccines are safe and effective in reducing the severity of the disease — and they do not affect your fertility. The DOH recommends that prospective parents get vaccinated as soon as possible, to protect both themselves as well as their newborn from COVID-19 infection. “Pregnant or recently pregnant people [who have contracted COVID-19] have much higher risks of dying, being hospitalized, needing a breathing tube and having a preterm birth or stillbirth,” says UW Medicine Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology Kristina Adams Waldorf, M.D. “In a short time, 15 pregnant women died of COVID-19 in Mississippi alone, and eight of those deaths occurred in a few months during a

While some assert that there aren’t enough studies being done on the effects of the vaccine on pregnancy, that isn’t really the case. “At this point, there are several studies investigating short-term reactions after getting the COVID-19 vaccine, pregnancy outcomes and miscarriage rates in people who received the COVID-19 vaccine during pregnancy,” says Alisa Kachikis, M.D., M.S., a maternal-fetal medicine specialist at the University of Washington.

By April Chan

For most people who want to have children, pregnancy is both a joyous time and one fraught with hormone-fueled anxiety. From what foods to eat (and avoid) to what kinds of exercises are okay during pregnancy, expectant parents want to know they’re doing everything they can to not only give their baby the best chance at a healthy gestation, but also that they are doing no harm. The anxiety is worse for those who have had trouble getting pregnant or bringing a baby to full term. And now there are concerns about contracting the coronavirus during or following pregnancy.

Two of those were in the past year [due to] COVID-19.”

According to Kachikis, the results of these studies have shown:

delta variant peak in 2021. Being overweight at the start of a pregnancy or having diabetes further increases these risks. Overall, pregnant individuals with COVID-19 are 22 times more likely to die in pregnancy compared to uninfected pregnant people.” Adams Waldorf continues, “One study found that unvaccinated pregnant individuals with COVID-19 had a 59 percent higher rate of preterm birth compared to those without COVID-19. Preterm birth is harmful for a baby and can lead to serious complications, including developmental and physical disabilities, long neonatal intensive care unit stays and even fetal death.” As a labor and delivery nurse working in Spokane, Hannah Coburn, R.N., has witnessed fatalities from COVID-19 infections. “I saw some very sick moms with COVID-19 — we unfortunately had a couple of deaths,” Coburn recently told the DOH. “I’ve been doing my job for a decade and have only known of three patient deaths.

• Good tolerance of the vaccine in both pregnant and lactating people • No increase in adverse events or poor pregnancy outcomes • No increased risk of miscarriage with the COVID-19 vaccine • Transfer of COVID-19 vaccine antibodies to the fetus through the placenta during pregnancy and the presence of antibodies in chest milk, both of which may help protect the newborn Admittedly, the studies are relatively short in scope — they have all been conducted in the past year or so — and the inclination to poke holes is high, particularly when it comes to the welfare of the unborn. Coburn acknowledges that she had her own hesitations before ultimately deciding to get vaccinated while she was still nursing her newborn child. “I have a physician I really trust. I was able to approach him with my questions without being made to feel bad for questioning something new,” she says. “Talking with him candidly helped me feel confident in my decision.”

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W EL L N ES S

FINDING LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS INTERACTIVE EXHIBIT

Coburn says the vaccine gave her the chance to give her child a measure of protection by nursing her. “I wanted to be able to give my daughter, who was 9 months old at the time, the antibodies,” she says. “Knowing it would be a long time until she could get vaccinated, it was a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I actually love the science of it.” Chest milk has long been known to protect infants against numerous infections, says Adams Waldorf. “It is more than nutrition and can provide the child with their ‘first vaccine,’” she says. “Many studies have shown that chest milk from people vaccinated against flu while pregnant contains protective antibodies that can be passed to the infant. A recent study showed protective antibodies against COVID-19 in chest milk following the two-dose series of the Moderna vaccine.”

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”Thomas cares deeply about providing opportunities for a full-spectrum education that helps young people become more fully themselves. He embraces new ideas and his ability to notice the humor in life made it a joy to work with him.”

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continued from page 7

Before getting to that point, however, the fear of a loss of pregnancy is immense for expectant parents, but as was the case for Coburn, having a trusted healthcare provider to whom you can voice your concerns is vital at this time, says Kachikis. “I usually counsel my patients about the risks of getting COVID-19 illness in pregnancy and the benefits of the vaccine, not only for the pregnant person but also for the fetus and newborn who will not be able to be vaccinated after birth,” she says. “I also realize that many people have complicated obstetrics histories and may have had a difficult time getting pregnant in the first place. The recommendation is to get the COVID-19 vaccine at any time in pregnancy, and I think it is really important for the pregnant person to have a frank conversation with their prenatal care provider.” According to Adams Waldorf, the data shows there’s no reason to wait. “The COVID-19 vaccines have not been linked to an increase in miscarriage rates,” she says. “In contrast, acquiring COVID-19 is associated with a higher stillbirth and miscarriage rate. The science and available data strongly support getting the vaccine while pregnant rather than avoiding the vaccine.” There is no optimum time during pregnancy or after pregnancy to receive the vaccine. “At this time, the important thing is to get vaccinated in pregnancy if you have not already been vaccinated,” advises Kachikis. “Side effects of vaccines can occur, but taking medications such as acetaminophen, or Tylenol, is safe during pregnancy and can help with some of the vaccine reactions. It can be helpful to talk to your prenatal care

provider or prenatal nurse to make a plan about which medications to take if you experience reactions with the vaccine.” Kachikis says that in addition to continuing to address vaccine hesitancy, she is also advising expectant parents to go ahead and get the booster shot if they’re due for one. “In general, we do give boosters in pregnancy for other vaccines,” she notes. “If you are eligible to receive a booster dose because of your risk of contracting COVID-19, health conditions, or because you are pregnant and the right amount of time has passed since your last COVID-19 vaccine dose, the recommendation from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists is to go ahead and get a booster dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. The hope is that this additional dose of the COVID-19 vaccine will boost your antibody levels and that of your baby, and provide even more protection from severe illness.” Adams Waldorf reminds patients that historically, vaccinations have been a part of pregnancy care for a long time. “Getting vaccinated for whooping cough and flu when you’re pregnant has been recommended for decades and is a normal part of a healthy pregnancy,” she says. “The immune system is very skilled at making protective antibodies to different vaccines or infections at the same time. Common prenatal vaccines like flu and Tdap [tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis/whooping cough] are recommended in all pregnancies and can safely be paired with the COVID-19 vaccines.”

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For more information about COVID-19 vaccination during pregnancy, go to doh.wa.gov/covidvaccine/faq. April Chan is a journalist based in the Seattle area.

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Wellness It’s the Thought That Counts How to manage your children’s holiday gift expectations By Heidi Borst

The holidays are a time for giving, and what child doesn’t love receiving gifts? Still, it’s likely that not all of the gifts your child opens this year will light up their faces with unabashed delight. If your kid’s less than appreciative reaction to a gift has ever made you cringe, you’re not alone. To cultivate an attitude of gratitude that thrives during the holidays, experts say that parents should instill a sense of appreciation in their kids year around. ParentMap reached out to Mehri Moore, M.D., chief medical officer and founder of THIRA Health (thirahealth.com), for tips on managing kids’ expectations this holiday season. Establish a family culture of appreciation. Kids learn from the culture that surrounds them at home and mimic it, says Moore. So, if you regularly practice habits of gratitude and demonstrate appreciation for all of the blessings you have, your children will follow suit. Emphasize the act of giving over that of receiving so that your kids discover the joy of giving gifts to others. Help your child choose thoughtful presents that will hold special meaning to the recipients. The holidays are an exciting time for kids, and getting presents is a big part of the picture. When it comes to managing expectations about receiving gifts, it’s helpful to consider your child’s age and developmental stage, says Moore. For school-age kids, have repeated conversations about how to receive gifts with grace and thankfulness, she says. When you’re the recipient of a gift or a kind act, let your children witness your appreciation for the thought and energy that went into the offering. Expressing your thanks openly helps kids to understand the true meaning behind receiving gifts. As a practical consideration, set your child’s expectations by stating specific boundaries or limits on how many gifts they’re going to get during the holiday, based on your family’s budget. Moore recommends that you say something like, “You’re going to get five gifts this holiday. Give me a list of the things that you really want.” Once you receive their list, let your child know the amount of money you can realistically expend on their gifts. Then, suggests Moore, Google the cost of each present with your kids, both to help them appreciate the value of money and to prioritize what

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they want the most. “If there’s an expensive gaming [system] they just can’t live without, tell them, ‘Okay, it looks like this is really what you want, but because the cost of the gift is high, maybe you’re not going to get five gifts.’” Encourage kids to give back. Parents can help children to look beyond their own desires during the holidays by encouraging them to give back to the community, says Moore. If your finances allow, offer to add money to your older child’s gift budget if they volunteer their time to a charity, soup kitchen or park cleanup, she suggests. Even if you can’t increase their gift budget, inspiring your children to give back instills a powerful sense of gratitude. “[Older children can] create a blessing box in the neighborhood where they put things they want to give away, and then encourage people to come and pick up things that they need,” suggests Moore. This shifts the focus from themselves to the needs of others. With younger kids, work with them to sort through their toys, mak-

ing a pile to keep and another to donate to those who are less fortunate. Doing this encourages a reciprocal spirit of giving on a truly personal level during a time when kids are also receiving gifts, notes Moore. Manage expectations of your time and energy. Given the constant demands on their time and attention, it’s easy for parents to become overtaxed during the holidays. “It’s inevitable that everybody around the holidays feels overwhelmed — that is just the unfortunate cultural imposition that we put on ourselves, whether it’s creating a wonderful environment around the holidays and spending two days of cooking and cleaning, or wrapping presents late into that night and getting everything going while both parents are working. And then there are all the other barriers we have right now because of COVID-19. Communicate to your kids that there are limits to your resources, financial and otherwise,” advises Moore.

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Take some time to prepare for the holiday season beforehand, and plan to spend a couple of days after the holidays free from any obligations , says Moore. “If you can, take a paid day off from work to just rest and relax, because the end of the holidays is like the finish line of a marathon.” Get your kids involved with helping out at a young age, so they make an effort on their own initiative to help out during the holidays. “Set the expectation for everybody in the family to chip in and help out — and not only around the holidays. If [kids] have chores on a daily basis and if they are responsible for putting a meal together once a week, you are teaching them the skills to step in and help when there’s a need,” says Moore.

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Heidi Borst is an active mom, journalist and nutrition coach with a strong affinity for nature, sarcasm and extra sleep.

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Five ways to stimulate your child’s brain development, with support at every step When the pandemic lockdown began in March 2020, I found myself facing the 20 wide-eyed new parents in my Program for Early Parent Support (PEPS; peps.org) parent-infant cooperative class on Zoom for the very first time. The class I was teaching had just shifted from meeting in person to convening online. Our in-person class had felt more like a party than a class, with witty banter and cocktails replaced by stories of baby antics and oxytocin. In that first Zoom meeting, bewilderment abounded. There were many questions, few answers. Of the many questions, one surfaced as a common refrain: What will we do without our baby parties? In other words, will the babies be all right with all the social distancing? When the question came up, I was transported back to a child development course I had taken years before. The course stressed that infants and toddlers fare best with one-on-one care as opposed to receiving care in a group setting. At the time, I had not yet worked with infants and I was not yet a parent myself. I was, however, a critical consumer of research. We know that child development research carries bias. Much of it has been conducted in university settings, where researchers and their subjects tend to be white, well-educated and Western. Enter racial, class and cultural bias. An extrovert myself, I questioned that a one-on-one care setting

was always best for all infants. The professor rolled her eyes loudly at me, and for good reason. Every child development specialist I have since encountered ascribes to “attachment theory,” which holds that infants must form a “secure base” with at least one primary caregiver in order for healthy development to unfold. This is why Washington state requires a 1-4 caregiver-to-infant ratio for licensed care settings, even though this requirement makes infant care more expensive than college tuition. This is also why orphanages no longer exist for young children. Even an extrovert like me, who loves nothing more than a rockin’ baby party, now accepts attachment theory as fact. Knowing this, child development specialists by and large predicted that infants would fare better in the pandemic than older children, whose healthy development rests more on peer and group social interactions. “Yes, the infants will be all right,” we assured the parents. “They learn their social skills from their caregivers, not from one another,” we said. “Just take care of yourself so you can take care of them,” we said. So, were we right? So many months later into the pandemic, are socially isolated infants and toddlers faring better than others? Yes … and no. It seems we were right that infants didn’t need peer socialization, but perhaps we were answering the wrong question. The question should have been: If caregivers of infants have minimal support during the pandemic, will the infants be okay? A longitudinal study conducted across five universities indicates that children who were born during the pandemic have markedly lower scores on standard measures of verbal, motor and overall cognitive ability than those born before the pandemic. The study has been measuring IQ in infants in Rhode Island since 2011. While children born in 2019 had no changes in IQ after the pandemic, children born in 2020 scored lower in verbal, motor and overall cognitive development — corresponding to an average IQ score that is 22 points lower than that of their 2019 counterparts.

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Why might infant IQ scores be lower, when more parents were able to be home with infants during the pandemic? Wouldn’t that help build up the “secure base”? Although the study is not causal, researchers postulate that caregivers were spread thin, and this impacted the infants’ development. In a related longitudinal study, infants wear little recorders that capture their daily interactions. Anecdotally, researchers are seeing that children have been exposed to more screen time, fewer rich conversations with caregivers and less overall time with caregivers since the pandemic began. My take? We underestimated the degree to which our relatively individualistic culture becomes more pluralistic when we are parenting. Cultures carry wisdom, and I believe there is a biological imperative for parents to have extra support, particularly during their child’s earliest years. For some of us, the support is very visible and tangible, such as having full-time child care for our younger kids and in-person schooling for our older kids. But for many others, support is the cumulative effect of many small things, such as grandparents visiting, babysitting and playdates. When I sat down to make a list of the forms of support parents lost during the pandemic, I came up with 15 material supports in an instant. This sounds sterile in writing, but what I am describing here is the figurative razing of the proverbial village. While this cumulative loss has not been easy for anyone, the IQ scores suggest that it is especially difficult for infants in their sensitive period of early

childhood development. Infants need caregivers who are present, and caregivers cannot be fully present without at least some of the supports listed above. How will you know if this applies to your child? It turns out that the top protective factor against lower IQ scores is the mother’s level of education. This means that children in an area with a highly educated population, like Seattle, may fare better than the study’s control group. But this is worrisome news for children in communities with more limited access to education and social supports. As with so many things, low-income families are disproportionately impacted. A parent working more than one job would have been stretched exceptionally thin, as affordable, high-quality child-care options closed during the lockdown. Fortunately, there is good news for everyone, everywhere: Very young children are the most resilient humans alive, regardless of their family’s income. Those born during the pandemic are all younger than 2. If the first 1,000 days are the most important period for brain development, there are still at least 500 highly sensitive days remaining to help our children rebound. So, what do we do now? How do we help our little ones catch up? 1. Make your world bigger again. According to Erin Bernau, a Seattle-based licensed clinical social worker, “A caregiver’s job is to serve as a container for a very young child — we take in the world around us and metabolize it to make it safe and secure for our children. When a caregiver is under undue stress, that work is harder and may even feel impossible at times,” says Bernau. “One of the ways to counteract this is to begin to make our worlds bigger

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again, thinking about what kind of support we need from our communities. This means being vulnerable and asking for help. … We are simply not built to take care of young children without social and familial support. And nobody signed up to parent during a global pandemic!” Young children remain unvaccinated, and variants pose a risk to all of us, but there are still safe ways to connect. If you aren’t in a position to bring in substantial support — such as podding with another family, a babysitter or a grandparent — consider engaging your parenting supports again in small ways, knowing that the small things add up. Organizing outdoor playdate swaps for older kids, asking a retired neighbor to cook for you and connecting with a virtual parenting support group are just a few ways you might safely “make your world bigger again.” 2. Socialize with your small child. Beyond being responsive to their baby’s or toddler’s basic biological needs, caregivers can make efforts to maximize the value of the one-on-one time they do have with small children by engaging in “serve and return” interactions. Serve-and-return interactions are what they sound like: short back-and-forth “conversations” between caregiver and child, much like hitting a ball back and forth in a tennis match. These interactions are easy and fun to engage in, particularly when the baby is rested, fed and alert. The conversations don’t need to be constant, nor do they have to be conducted with the parent or primary caregiver alone. Have a friend take your little one on a nature walk, paying attention to what captures the child’s attention and then describing what it is they are seeing. 3. If you are curious or concerned about your child’s development, the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ; parenthelp123.org) can be completed in as little as 10 minutes. The ASQ is a free tool that parents use to track their child’s

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progress with respect to developmental milestones. While the questionnaire can be completed independently, you can also tap into organizations such as WithinReach (withinreachwa.org) for guided support. If your child seems to be falling behind on a milestone, you can be connected with a professional for further evaluation to see if you qualify for early intervention services. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, early intervention works — the earlier, the better. 4. If you feel disconnected from your child, support is available. Betty Peralta (altavenues.com/betty-peralta), a Seattle-based infant mental health specialist, explains: “The field of infant mental health is relationship-focused. Any mental health problems your baby or young child might be struggling with can be helped through their relationship with a primary care provider,” says Peralta. “If you feel that you could use help with your relationship with your child, seeking an infant mental health therapist is a great idea.” To find a therapist, you can visit the Washington Association for Infant Mental Health website (wa-aimh.org) for a list of providers. (Find additional local resources at the end of this article.) 5. Trust in your baby’s resilience, and in your own instincts as a parent. There are scientifically proven ways to boost a child’s IQ, and believing in your child is actually one of them. Psychologists have found that adopting a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset, makes a tangible impact upon achievement. And we have so many reasons to believe, as the brains of very young children are highly neuroplastic. It is the very same plasticity that has made them sensitive to pandemic deficits that can help them rebound quickly from those deficits. As a parent, you have valuable instincts for knowing your child and intuiting what they need to thrive. Having confidence

in yourself and your child is essential to preventing defeating, cyclical anxiety and enabling your family to move forward. Even if we’d foreseen these effects on infants, there is little or nothing we could have done differently. I continued meeting virtually with the 20 wide-eyed parents in my class throughout the spring of 2020. They were doing their best to keep their village together, even as they were protecting their families from contracting COVID-19. While Zoom baby parties might be the one exception to the universal truth that all Zoom parties are awkward, it wasn’t the “party” that the babies needed. It was the village their primary caregivers needed. If there is one thing I have gained from the pandemic — other than a stellar 20-second commute from my bed to my home office — it’s a deeper appreciation for my family’s village. I didn’t know just how desperately we needed it, until now.

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Additional local resources • For help navigating the day-to-day challenges of parenting, Parent Trust’s Family Help Line can be accessed 9 a.m.–5 p.m., Monday– Friday, at 1-800-932-HOPE (4673); parenttrust.org. • If you are struggling with a crying baby, check out the Seattle–King County chapter of the Fussy Baby Network (cooperhouse.org; 206-906-9622). • If you are insured by Apple Health and seeking infant mental health services, Navos Mental Health Solutions (navos.org; 206-248-8226) and/or the Center for Human Services (chs-nw.org; 206-362-7282) can help.

WashingtonStateABLE.com • 1-844-600-2253

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3/6/20 12:26 PM

Fun in your inbox Stay up to date with the latest family news, stories and adventures around Puget Sound — straight to your inbox.

ParentMap.com/eNews

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8/18/21 9:55 AM

Annie Garrett is a faculty member in parent education and manager of the Early Childhood Education Bachelor of Applied Science Degree program at Seattle Colleges. She also volunteers as a PEPS presenter. She holds a master’s degree in education from the University of Washington.

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Home, Sweet Home 5 School Lunch Ideas From Around the Globe Pack an internationally inspired brown bag lunch that your kid will be thrilled to unwrap By Rebecca Mongrain When you look at what schoolchildren eat for lunch in other parts of the world, a typical American school lunch begins to look a little, well, boring. Your passport to flavor has arrived: These novel global lunch eats are packed full of flavor — and they’re quick and easy to prepare.

Vietnamese banh mi wrap •

fussfreecooking.com Vietnam is a country known for its delicious entrées; a few are even easy enough to prepare that they can be tucked into a school lunch. This take on banh mi from Fuss Free Cooking takes all the delicious flavors of that iconic sandwich — grilled chicken, pea shoots, red chiles (option-

Mini French picnic bento Photo courtesy bentozen.wordpress.com

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al), onion, cabbage, broccoli, carrots, lime juice and a handful of coriander — and wraps them up for lunchtime. Mexican mini taco hand pies • lemonsforlulu.com Lemons for Lulu takes a Mexican classic and makes it even better. This spin on the beloved taco — mini hand pies — is a perfect lunchbox item; they’re even freezable! Cook ground beef with taco seasoning, black beans and cheddar cheese, and then nestle the mixture between two circles of refrigerated pie dough. For an even simpler assembly, ditch the pie crust and use tortillas instead. Add guacamole and salsa for flavorful flair.

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Indian chana masala • yummilyyours.com This recipe for chickpea masala from Yummily Yours is so simple that you could even make it in the morning before school. All you need is 30 minutes — half of which is cooking time — and soon you’ll have a lunchbox meal that’s the envy of the whole cafeteria. Plus, it’s mild enough to entice even the spice-averse. Include some cooked rice, naan and a spoonful of tart yogurt to clinch the win! Mini French picnic bento • bentozen.wordpress.com A French picnic lunch, like this one from Bento Zen, never fails to delight! Simply pair a turkey-and-ham pocket sandwich with some blueberries, Brie cheese, cornichons (i.e., gherkins) and a few fresh veggies to achieve that French foodie flair. For a hungrier eater, toss in a French-style yogurt cup. Japanese curry chicken sandwich • bentomonsters.com As the originators of bento, the Japanese are masters of this culinary art. For beginners, try this recipe from Bento Monsters. Basically, these are sandwich rolls made with flattened sandwich bread that has been filled with chicken curry. A sandwich is always tastier when it has a cute face.

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Rebecca Mongrain is a writer and photographer who explores the wonders of parenting, food and home. This popular article comes from the ParentMap.com archives.

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They’re ready. Are you?

Saturday, Jan. 8, 2022

Discover dozens of early learning options from across the Greater Seattle region and find the right fit for your child — all from the comfort of your home. • • • • •

Free virtual event

Explore 40+ interactive booths Access live preschool info sessions Join fun demo sessions for kids Free ParentEd Talk with positive-discipline expert Julietta Skoog Fun contests and prizes

It Starts With You(th) Teens Find Their Voice — and Family — at Totem Star Local nonprofit teaches more than just music By Gemma Alexander

Parents aren’t always supportive of their kids’ dreams to become famous musicians. Not only does success seem unlikely, but the music industry is infamously cutthroat and often glamorizes self-destructive lifestyles. Two local musicians have spent the past decade building an artistic community that breaks such industry stereotypes. At Totem Star (totemstar.org), professional musicians teach young people important life lessons along with the skills they need to create their own music. “We’re at the point where we’re starting to get national recognition,” says singersongwriter Daniel Pak, executive director of Totem Star. The organization is a finalist for The Lewis Prize for Music (thelewisprize.org), a national prize awarded to music education programs that promote racial equity and youth agency. Now in its 11th year in operation, Totem Star has mentored and trained more than 3,000 young people ages 14–25 all over western Washington. Through their creative youth development programs, they provide free studio recording time, present and book performance opportunities, and host industry talks. “Totem Star offers everything that a performer would need to know to launch a career in the music industry. But the biggest part of what we do is build long-term, meaningful relationships with our young people,” says Pak. “We provide a space for predominantly Black, Indigenous and youths of color to have a home where they

can take creative risks, where they can build community, where they can make deeper connections within the music industry — and also develop as humans. I think a lot of what we do is really just helping young people become great human beings and live healthy, productive lives — all under the guise of music.” Pak (who releases music as Kore Ionz) and Thaddeus Turner (best known for his work with hip-hop trio Digable Planets) cofounded Totem Star through a partnership with the Juvenile Rehabilitation Administration, teaching music production to recently incarcerated youth. Literally working out of a suitcase, they began recording young people’s music with portable studio equipment.

Mirabai Kukathas Photo courtesy of mirabaikukathas.com

From that beginning, partnerships have continued to play an integral role in expanding Totem Star’s programming. The founders have worked with Youngstown Cultural Art Center (the current home of the recording studio), Seattle Public Schools, the Northwest African American Museum and a host of other local organizations. They recently received an award from the Pride Foundation honoring their work.

“If they go to the trouble of filling out the form, we’ll get back to them,” says Pak. Over the years, the organization has grown organically, connecting with adult mentors and youth artists alike through a diverse network of personal relationships.

“Since the beginning, we’ve been 100 percent Black-, Indigenous- and peopleof-color-led. Only 6 percent of arts and cultural space in Seattle is owned by communities of color. That’s not to say we only serve communities of color,” says Pak. Today, 70 percent of participating artists are

“We’ve actually lost grants because we didn’t say anything about outreach [in our application]. The reason for that is we can’t really do much outreach,” explains Pak. The demand for their programs is so great that word of mouth has kept them operating at capacity even as they continue to grow.

youths of color. But Totem Star welcomes any teen with an interest in music to join by completing the artist inquiry form on the nonprofit’s website.

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I T STARTS W I T H YO U ( T H)

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Mirabai Kukathas (mirabaikukathas.com) was a freshman at Nova High School when a friend heard her singing in an empty classroom and suggested that she check out Totem Star. For Kukathas, singing was a crucial emotional outlet that helped her manage OCD and a chronic health issue. But middle school bullying had taught her that it wasn’t something you did in front of others. She declined.

“It’s really hard to separate the emotional-care aspect of Totem Star from the technical learning, because it’s all so integrated.” “But my friend tricked me,” she says. One day, when the two had planned to hang out, her friend drove to Totem Star instead of the park. After visiting the recording studio, Kukathas was inspired to write a song in the parking lot outside, “But I was still too nervous to use the facilities. I just did not think I was good enough to record,” says Kukathas. She enrolled in Totem Star’s summer intensive program and became an intern the next year. She wrote blog posts, put together mixtapes, represented Totem Star at events such as the Teen Action Fair (discovergates.org/teenactionfair) and even hosted performance showcases. “That’s how I became part of the family,” says Kukathas. Finally, during her junior year, she felt confident enough to record her first song. Her debut album, “Songs to the Monsters Under My Bed,” was recorded during quarantine and released in May of this year. Kukathas is now a freshman at Sarah Lawrence College studying music. She still serves on the youth advisory board at Totem Star and is working on her second album. But she says learning how to record wasn’t the most important thing she got from Totem Star. “I went through some intense medical stuff that affected my esophagus and I couldn’t really sing,” she says. “The people at Totem Star really protected me and comforted me through that really rough time.” Mentors at Totem Star taught her techniques to protect her voice and encouraged her songwriting while her throat recovered.

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“It’s really hard to separate the emotional-care aspect of Totem Star from the technical learning, because it’s all so integrated,” says Kukathas. “Working with individual artists has been our framework from the very beginning. We meet each artist where they’re at,” says Pak. From basic software tutorials to promoting an album, Totem Star is there to give each young artist whatever it is they need, regardless of their experience level. During the pandemic, what kids needed shifted radically overnight. More than 60 new artists reached out to Totem Star during the lockdown. Totem Star moved all programs online, providing monthly talks and increased performance opportunities on Instagram Live. They rushed to deliver equipment and help youths set up home studios over Zoom. For now, Totem Star is keeping all of its programs virtual. But its founders are looking to the future with a capital campaign. They just crested the halfway mark fundraising to build a new home at King Street Center in partnership with Seattle’s Cultural Space program. The new facility will increase programming capacity by a factor of eight. If all goes well, the new home will open its doors in the fall of 2022.

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Anyone who wants to support Totem Star and its capital campaign can donate directly through its website or purchase merchandise at the Totem Star store. To explore the music of Totem Star’s young artists, visit the organization’s official Soundcloud page at soundcloud.com/totemstar. On Dec. 9, tune in to Totem Star’s livestreamed winter concert, “Rock the Giving Season,” with the Gates Foundation Discovery Center.

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Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet.

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / S CH O O L S , PR ES CH O O L S , NWA IS

Fight the Pressure to Overschedule Your Children 10 expert tips to stop the frenzy By Susan Newman, Ph.D.

Extracurricular activity participation is voluntary, and thus completely under your (and your child’s) control. Here are 10 tips to counter the pressure and fight the urge to overschedule your children: • Embrace unstructured playtime, because it helps children develop creatively and learn how to fill time on their own. • Fit in as many family dinners as possible, especially during the school year. It’s one of the rare times you are most likely to discover problems your child might be having at school or with friends. • Learn to say no when your child begs to add another activity to his already crowded schedule. • Examine the request together. Just like saying no to excessive commitments, good decision-making is a learned skill. Before your child signs up yet again, help them to figure out how many meetings or practices there will be per month. Will there be dues? Competitions? Fundraising requirements? • Consider your family size and the ages of your other children. Is dragging your baby or toddler along doable without adding to your own stress and anxiety? • Be a good example of stress management. Children learn how to manage stress by watching their parents. Do you find yourself reeling with stress, screaming at life’s frustrations instead of finding a resolution? Then you can’t expect your children to understand the proper way to react when they are overloaded and exhausted. • Accept the fact that children get over disappointment far faster than adults. It’s safe to presume that your child will not be on a therapist’s couch 20 years from now blaming you for the missed opportunity to join a team. They’ll find something far more significant!

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• Being less overwhelmed reduces the chances that you will lose your temper with your children, making both you and them miserable. • Forget keeping up with the Joneses. • Reserve time to build family ties and memories, which will become critical points of connection in later years.

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Susan Newman, Ph.D., is the author of 15 books about the relationship and parenting fields. This article was adapted from “The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say It and Mean It — and Stop People-Pleasing Forever.” Read more of her work at susannewmanphd.com.

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FAM I LY F UN

December Play List Lights, salmon, action! By Devon Hammer

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.

� Stay warm and cozy in your car while enjoying the largest holiday lights extravaganza in the Pacific Northwest at Fantasy Lights in Spanaway Park. We hear there is a giant new Sasquatch display that you have to see to believe. Daily through Jan. 2, 5:30–9 p.m. $15/car; some discount nights available. parentmap.com/fantasy-lights

Don’t hit the snooze button on this December’s brilliant events lineup, for there is a blizzard of holiday season happenings to enjoy this month. Plan ahead for adored annual holiday outings, some exciting brand-new events and more with our December event planning guide. Let us light your way to festive family fun! Important note: Some events now require proof of vaccination or a negative COVID-19 test result to attend.

Interactive Awesome Exhibition of Lego Models

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� Your “brickheads” will be thrilled by The Interactive Awesome Exhibition of Lego Models, part of Seattle Center’s Winterfest celebration. See what a life-size Harley-Davidson motorcycle built with Lego bricks looks like, marvel at an

8-foot-tall orca and more at this Lego lovers’ dream world. Daily, except Mondays, through Jan. 16. $15.50 kids; $19.50 adults; family packages available. parentmap.com/lego

� Be dazzled by plant and critter shapes created with more than half a million lights at Bellevue Botanical Garden’s Garden d’Lights. Explore the garden and take in the breathtaking beauty. Daily through Dec. 31, 4:30–9 p.m. $5; ages 10 and younger free. parentmap.com/garden-dlights � See “falling snow,” festive lights, drummers, dancers and more at Snowflake Lane,

Highlighted Events for December

Dec. 1

Wednesday

“Do You Have Your S*%# Together? Preparing for Life’s ‘What-ifs’” Online parentmap.com/live

Through Dec. 31

Daily

Garden d’Lights Bellevue Botanical Garden parentmap.com/ garden-dlights

Dec. 4

Saturday

Woodinville Winterfest’s Holiday Fair & Tree Lighting DeYoung Park parentmap.com/winterfest

� Don’t miss out on this year’s last chance to witness salmon on their epic battle upstream at Pipers Creek in Carkeek Park, where a naturalist will be on hand to answer your questions. Saturday–Sunday, Dec. 4–5, 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/carkeek

Snowfalke Lane

the beloved holiday parade tradition in downtown Bellevue. Nightly through Dec. 24, 7 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/ snowflake-lane

� “Do You Have Your S*%# Together?” Learn what you need to do in order to avoid leaving family members in the lurch financially, legally and logistically in the wake of life’s “what if” moments by attending a virtual ParentMap Live talk by author Chanel Reynolds. Wednesday, Dec. 1, 7 p.m. $0–$15. parentmap.com/live �

Join host Stroum Jewish Community Center for a special night at Redmond Lights in celebration of Hanukkah. Stroll along to admire the inventive light art installations and receive a Hanukkah family gift bag, which contains a yummy treat and an activity for the kiddos. Register in advance. Friday, Dec. 3, 5:30 p.m. Free. Redmond Lights is open nightly through Jan. 5. parentmap.com/ redmond-lights

� Come by City Hall in downtown Auburn to enjoy live music and then watch the Santa parade light up Main Street, concluding with a tree lighting back at City Hall. Saturday, Dec. 4, 3–6:30 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/santa-parade � ’Tis the season at Woodinville Winterfest’s Holiday Fair & Tree Lighting in DeYoung Park and surrounding areas. Visit for crafts and activities, pictures with Santa, live music, light displays and more. Saturday, Dec.4, 3–6 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/winterfest � Walk a 1-mile luminaria-lit loop through downtown Kenmore to arrive at City Hall for live music, food truck fare and a take-home craft kit. Friday,

Kids can ride on the back of special animatronic dinosaurs at Jurassic Quest.

Dec. 10, 4–7 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/luminary-walk

� Want another chance to gorge on fair-food favorites? Head on down to the Washington State Fair Events Center for the Holiday Magic walk-through experience, featuring sparkling lights, interactive displays and the classic fair grub you crave. Dec. 10–12, 17–23, 26–31. Prices are to be announced. parentmap.com/holiday-magic � Live theater performances are back! Snag tickets to a hilarious and heartwarming holiday production of “Elf: The Broadway Musical” at the Auburn Avenue Theater. Dec. 10–12, 16–19. $15–$23. parentmap.com/elf (See more stellar shows on p. 26.) �

Redmond Lights

Reptile-loving families won’t want to miss the largest exotic animal show in the Pacific Northwest at the Washington State Fair Events Center. See

thousands of creatures — and even bring a scaly new friend home. Saturday–Sunday, Dec. 11–12. $5 child; $12 adult; ages 5 and younger free. parentmap.com/reptile-show

� Imagine what it would be like to walk among dinosaurs at Jurassic Quest, yet another show on offer at the Washington State Fair Events Center. Your dino enthusiast will be enthralled by the life-size interactive displays. Friday–Sunday, Dec. 17–19. $18–$22 per person; additional charge for rides. parentmap.com/jurassic-quest � Celebrate the winter season with a gorgeously lit amble around Oxbow Farm during its Winter Solstice Celebration. Sunday, Dec. 18, 2–7 p.m. Price to be determined. parentmap.com/winter-solstice

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Devon Hammer is ParentMap’s Out + About editorial assistant and a mother of two.

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Holiday Arts

“Anastasia” at The Paramount Theatre

Let It Show, Let It Show, Let It Show! Live performances are back, and we have a lot to choose from this holiday season By Gemma Alexander

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Now that it’s possible to vaccinate everyone in the family who is old enough to sit through a performance without too much fidgeting, a lot of us are extremely excited to get back to the theaters and renew our holiday arts traditions. These family-friendly arts offerings will get your family through the holidays and into the new year. ‘George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker’ (a splurge!) • pnb.org After all the disruption of the past two years, it’s thrilling to renew the Christmas tradition of taking the family to see Pacific Northwest Ballet’s classic “George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker,” featuring

sets designed by children’s author and illustrator Ian Falconer. There is also a virtual option if you’re still not confident about taking your littles to a show in person. Pacific Northwest Ballet, Seattle; Nov. 26– Dec. 28; $27+ Other “Nutcracker” options this year include performances staged by Emerald Ballet Theatre in Bothell (emeraldballet.org); Spectrum Dance Theater with “The Harlem Nutcracker” (spectrumdance.org); Tacoma City Ballet at Pantages Theater (tacomacityballet.com); and Bainbridge Ballet (bainbridgeballet.com).

‘The Best Christmas Pageant Ever’ • studio-east.org We’ve all had enough of things not going the way they’re supposed to lately. But hopefully we can find an iota of the humor in our lives that we get from the debacle presented in the classic holiday play “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” Only one hour long, it’s perfect for younger kids and anyone who is still getting used to sharing space with strangers. Studio East Mainstage, Kirkland; Dec. 4–19; $20–$23 ‘Welcome Home: A Holiday Concert’ (a splurge!) • villagetheatre.org Village Theatre reopens both its Everett and Issaquah stages with “Welcome Home: A Holiday Concert.” Featuring a live band and a mix of showtunes and holiday classics, the concert will kick off the holiday season with a festive return to live performances.

Only a few performances remain in the Everett run, which ends Dec. 5, but shows in Issaquah continue through Christmas. Everett Performing Arts Center, Everett; Nov. 19–Dec. 5; $47–$62 Village Theatre, Issaquah; Dec. 8–26; $35–$50 ‘Elf: The Broadway Musical’ (a steal!) • auburnwa.gov This season, the Auburn Community Players return to the stage with “Elf: The Broadway Musical,” based on the contemporary Christmas movie starring Will Ferrell. The naive optimism of wannabe elf Buddy will have your family spreading Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear. Auburn Avenue Theater, Auburn; Dec. 10–19; $15–$18 presale/$20–$23 at the door

‘Seattle City Nutcracker’ (a splurge!) • dassdance.org With a flying LED-lit mechanical doll and a blacklight battle scene featuring robots, DASSdance’s “Seattle City Nutcracker” is not your momma’s “Nutcracker.” The choreography, which is only loosely based on the classic story, blends jazz, ballet, tap and modern dance as well as acrobatics and aerial feats. Broadway Performance Hall, Seattle; Dec. 12, 1:30 p.m. and 6 p.m.; $27–$32 ‘Disney’s Beauty and the Beast’ • 5thavenue.org If the holiday hustle seems a little too hectic after the relative quiet of last year’s lockdown, be our guest and prioritize your arts outings for the new year. What better beginning than “Disney’s Beauty and the Beast” at The 5th Avenue Theatre? It’s a new production of a tale as old as time

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H OL I DAY ARTS

traveling troupe’s performance. Note that children younger than 5 are not admitted to Meany Hall. Meany Center for the Performing Arts, Seattle; Jan. 20–22; pricing TBA

continued from page 27

that the whole family can enjoy. The 5th Avenue Theatre, Seattle; Jan. 12– Feb. 6; pricing TBA ‘Songs for a New World’ • villagetheatre.org We can all use the kind of celebration of new beginnings that Village Theatre is presenting in Jason Robert Brown’s “Songs for a New World.” Not quite a musical and not quite a concert, this collection of shorts is filled with uplifting songs that celebrate life and envision a better future. It’s just the thing for energizing everyone to get out there and build that better world — or at least make it through the winter. Village Theatre, Issaquah; Jan. 14–Feb. 13; pricing TBA Everett; Feb. 18–March 13; pricing TBA

Yamato Drummers of Japan at The Moore Theatre

‘Humans 2.0’ • meanycenter.org “Humans 2.0” by the Australian circus arts performance ensemble Circa has been called “a love letter to humanity.” Whether kids get the message of hope and human resilience or just marvel at the acrobatics, they are sure to enjoy this international

‘Science Circus’ (a steal!) • auburnwa.gov It’s a popular myth that art and science are enemies — “Science Circus” puts the art in science and the science in art in a performance that teaches Newtonian physics using the force of levity. Blending comedy and circus arts, “Science Circus” demonstrates gravity (through bowling ball juggling), gyroscopic stability (through glass bowl spinning), centripetal force (with lassos) and other cool science tricks. Auburn Avenue Theater, Auburn; Jan. 22; $10 ‘Anastasia’ (a splurge!) • stgpresents.org Originally scheduled for Broadway at the

LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

URJ CAMP KALSMAN

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All grades listed refer to your child's current (2021-2022) grade! Kallah Aleph June 26th-July 7th

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THE SUMMER OF A LIFETIME!

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Grades 1&2 (Coogarim) August 3rd-August 10th Grades 3&4 (Nitzotzot) August 10th-August 17th Grades 4&5 (Kochavim) August 3rd-August 17th Grades 6&7 (Tzofim) August 3rd-August 17th Grades 8,9,&10 (Kesher) August 3rd-August 17th MACHON (Counselor in Training) Grade 11: June 26th-July 31st

LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T I ES

Paramount’s canceled 2020 season, “Anastasia” has been rescheduled for January 2022. It follows the story of Anya, who pairs up with a con man and a former aristocrat on an adventure to discover her own past. Is she the missing Russian princess? The Paramount Theatre, Seattle; Jan. 25–30; $35+ The Original Harlem Globetrotters: Spread Game Tour • angelofthewindsareana.com The original Original Harlem Globetrotters exhibition basketball team was formed in 1926. Those first players may be long gone, but nearly 100 years later, the current generation is just as sure to impress with its superpower-like skills in the service of playful family entertainment. It’s a wonderful, creative contrast to the too-serious world of competitive sports. Angel of the Winds Arena, Everett; Jan. 28; $20–$110 ‘Red Riding Hood’ • sct.org Seattle Children’s Theatre returns to live productions in February with a world premiere. Its farcical take on “Red Riding Hood” features Wolfgang, the greatest actor in the world preparing for his biggest role yet, and a delivery driver who questions his story. Despite the high jinks, the story’s theme of courage is timelier than ever. Virtual options are available. Seattle Children’s Theatre, Seattle; Feb. 1–March 6; $15–$40 Yamato Drummers of Japan (a splurge!) • stgpresents.org The ritualized way that taiko drummers play their instruments resembles dance, but even if you listen with your eyes closed, a traditional taiko drum performance is an intense, whole-body experience. Hailing from Japan’s Nara Prefecture, the Yamato Drummers take an innovative and original approach to this traditional Japanese musical instrument while still imparting the spirit of Japan. The Moore Theatre, Seattle; Feb. 14; $32–$42 ‘Seussical the Musical’ (a steal!) • tmp.org The Cat in the Hat narrates a mash-up of Horton’s stories: Horton faces challenges in his dealings with thinker Jojo and other Whos, and in hatching the egg left behind by Mayzie La Bird. But with support from Gertrude McFuzz and through Horton’s own steadfast loyalty, friendship and family survive. Tacoma Musical Playhouse, Tacoma; Feb. 26–March 6; $12–$15

Comprehensive Choral Education Scheduling auditions now for girls in grades 4-6

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Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts.

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We Deliver

Sing with us in January!

The holiday season is in full swing, and it’s time to get into the kitchen and bake muffins, pies and other homey treats. It reminds me of the times I spent in the kitchen with my mom when I was of preschool age. I love sharing these treasured memories and the same experiences with my own children. Sure, sometimes it’s not easy having little hands “help.” Thankfully, I racked up a lot of practice baking with preschoolers when I taught classes for kids and have gathered tips for making it a positive time together — for both parent and child.

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5 Tips for Baking With Your Preschooler

10/18/21 2:45 PM

Tip 1: Safety first. The first thing to do when baking with children is to establish the ground rules for what is and isn’t okay to touch. Metal bowls, spoons and whisks are safe, but mixers, ingredients, knives and hot ovens need to be off-limits unless kids are directed otherwise.

Tip 2: Show and tell. The most successful way to bake with children is to explain the task, demonstrate it and then pass it on for them to finish. This will keep frustration at bay for both you and your child. Tip 3: Prep ahead of time. Set out the equipment and measure out ingredients into prep bowls beforehand. Stirring, pouring and rolling are all enjoyable, age-appropriate tasks, whereas accurately measuring baking soda can cause more frustration than enjoyment.

Tip 4: Allow plenty of time. Baking with children means that a batch of cookies may take longer than anticipated. Be sure to pick a time to bake together that allows for this extra time, or spread the project over two days. Tip 5: Remain flexible. Allowing your child to choose which steps they want to participate in is completely acceptable. The point is to spend enjoyable and creative time together, and to allow them to explore baking in a way that is comfortable for them. Ready to jump into the kitchen and get started? You’ll find five foolproof recipes you’ll love baking with your mini sous-chef at parentmap.com/holiday-bakes.

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— Rachel Knecht

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Pride in excellence, strength in charac LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / FA I T H- BA S ED S C HO OL S + PRO G RAMS

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Researcher and clinical psychologist Lisa Miller, Ph.D., author of the book “The Spiritual Child: The New Science on Parenting for Health and Lifelong Thriving,” shares insights about the biological and developmental significance of raising a spiritual child. How would you define the science of spirituality? The science of spirituality examines the impact of spirituality on human thriving and healthy development by measuring the effects of spiritual life on the brain, our bodies, our health and our relationships. The science of spirituality has shown there is a lifelong connection between spirituality and thriving. It has also shown that the essential foundation for spirituality is established in the first two decades of life. Why is this research so groundbreaking? We now have a breakthrough wave of science that shows us: 1) children are born with a biologically based capacity for natural spirituality; 2) this natural spirituality can be supported by parents and caring adults; and 3) if it is supported, it is the greatest source of resilience and thriving known to the medical or social sciences. How can parents engage their child’s spiritual connection? With the right road map to spiritual development, we as parents are far more able to ensure that our children thrive. For example, we can foster spiritual development by sharing our own spiritual experiences, questions and wonderings; by talking with our children about their questions and experiences without judgment; by building a spiritual practice together; by nurturing active relationships with creatures of all kinds and with nature; by sanctifying family as a way of showing that we all are part of something larger; by using spiritual language on a daily basis; and by striving toward a higher bar in our own behavior and ethics.

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The Science and Power of Spirituality

Why is it important to teach children about different religions? Understanding the importance of different faith traditions — spiritual multilingualism — is essential to a fully developed spiritual life. We know from our research that spiritual multilingualism must start at home or at school by age 6, or a child will start to believe that his own traditions are more real than those of other people. Of course, while encouraging spiritual multilingualism, you can still have your own deeply held faith tradition and religious practice. But knowing spirituality in more than one language greatly enriches the depth and reach of your child’s spiritual development.

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Gift Guide 10 Hottest Toys for the 2021 Holidays Grab these gizmos and games before they’re gone By Amber Guetebier If you feel like the holidays arrived faster than usual this year, you’re not alone. Thanks to precociously early Black Friday deals and plaguing worries about supply chains, shopping early seems to be the norm. We’ve rounded up some of the most popular toys for this holiday season, but don’t wait too long to buy: From magical cauldrons to mesmerizing puzzle boxes, this year’s hottest toys are selling fast.

audio player For you parents looking to reduce screen time yet still keep your children entertained, consider the Toniebox. This screen-free device is made for story time and dance parties, and is cute as a button. It also garners rave reviews from parents.

Swap in audio play characters such as Elsa, who sings four songs from “Frozen,” or pop on Playtime Puppy for classics like “B-I-NG-O” and “Itsy Bitsy Spider.” You can also purchase additional famed faves (including Ariel, Moana and Peppa Pig) with their own unique soundtracks. Ages 3 and older

2. Shashibo Shape-Shifting Fidget Cube Studies show that fidget toys can help reduce stress and anxiety. This Amazon bestseller is a fidget gadget and a senso-

ry stimulator packed into one fascinating puzzle box. The little cube transforms into more than 70 different shapes, and you can buy more than one puzzle box and connect them to create even more dynamic forms and 3D art. It is mesmerizing enough that you may want to buy one for yourself to better endure all those boring Zoom meetings. Ages 8 and older, but reviews say kids much younger enjoy this toy. It does contain magnets, so it is not safe for kiddos ages 3 and younger.

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3. L.O.L. Surprise! real-wood

dollhouse Move over, Barbie Dreamhouse! This epic four-story, furnished dollhouse includes working lights and an elevator, and is packed with surprise features, such as rotating rooms and convertible furniture. Word to the wise: There are several steps involved in assembly, so plan ahead if you hope to present this on Christmas morning in its fully assembled glory. Both New York magazine and The Toy Insider predict this one will sell out fast, and we can see why! Ages 4 and older

implement is what has earned it such a high rating on Amazon. Using the tracing sheets and colored pencils included with the pad, kids can re-create just about any image or work of art by sliding it into this cool light-up pad and tracing along. Perfect for reluctant artists or school projects. Ages 6 and older

4. Crayola light-up

tracing pad It may well be that the simplicity of this artistic

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5. Magic Mixies Magical Misting Cauldron Rated as a top toy of the year by Target and Walmart, this interactive cauldron and wand set might prove elusive, but if you can hunt one down, it will be worth it. Stir up some magic at home by adding potions and watch the magic swirl to reveal a soft plush toy, which can aid little wizards in conjuring their next concoction. The plushy is interactive to touch, with more than 50 sounds and reactions. Tip: The set may be out of stock online, but it could be worth looking for in stores. Our local Target had it marked as unavailable online or for store pickup, but it was in stock at the store. Ages 5 and older 6. Star Wars Galactic Snackin’ Grogu This character’s instant popularity came on faster than the speed of light, and it hasn’t slowed yet. This year, “Baby Yoda” needs his snacks! The Child makes more than 40 combinations of sounds and motions. He comes with four different accessories that you can place in his hand, and he reacts with cute noises and movements. He can even perform a two-handed Force move, inspired by season two of “The Mandalorian.” Ages 4 and older

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7. Play-Doh Kitchen Creations Rising Cake Oven All the holiday baking is sure to inspire your little ones to create their own special cakes and treats in this play oven. Mix up a “cake,” put it in the oven and watch it rise; wait for the “ding”; and then decorate your cake with the set’s accessories. The set also includes five cans of Play-Doh. Hurry on this one; major box retailers are having trouble keeping it in stock. Ages 3 and older

8. VTech KidiZoom digital camera and printer This kid-friendly all-in-one digital camera and printer allows kids to take pics using its color screen and then instantly print them in black and white to create their own coloring sheets, comic strips and more. Kids will love that it also shoots videos and even has games, and parents will love the parental controls to restrict screen time and printing. Not only did it make Walmart’s top toys list, but it was also a kids’ choice winner. Pack this one for any winter getaways and let the kids document your family adventures. Ages 4 and older

9. Award-winning Gravity Maze With more than 50 million units sould worldwide, this Toy Association’s 2015 Toy of the Year winner is a 3D-mazemeets-marble-run concept designed for one player. Follow the cards to meet challenges, from basic to advanced, and then explore new configurations on your own. Ages 7 and older 10. Lego Adventures with Mario Starter Course Every year there’s a Lego set that sells out, and this year it’s likely to be this one. The interactive Lego Adventures with Mario Starter Course set includes a Mario character that reacts to movement via color sensors and built-in LCD screens. Kids can build different worlds for Mario to explore and add expansion packs to keep the action going. The set contains 231 pieces! Ages 6 and older

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Amber Guetebier is a freelance writer and editor and a mother with a penchant for pirates, plants and books — not necessarily in that order. Read more of her work at writhingink.com.

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The Benefits of Raising a Polyglot Tot All parents wonder excitedly what their child’s first words will be — and then there are those parents who wonder in what language they’ll hear those words. For some families, multilingualism helps keep cultural and ethnic heritage alive; others are drawn to the promise of personal and professional opportunities in the future. No matter the reasons behind it, multilingualism has been proven to offer both immediate and long-term cognitive advantages to kids. Here are just a few of the key advantages of bilingualism: • Because learning a new tongue teases out similarities and differences between the primary language and other languages, bilingualism encourages better understanding of one’s primary language. • Brain activity tests show that bilingual kids have a heightened ability over monolingual children to monitor their immediate environment and keep track of what’s going on more efficiently. • A bilingual child’s ability to alternate between two languages strengthens mental flexibility, improves self-control/self-regulation and increases their ease in switching between mental tasks. • Bilingualism may even delay the onset of dementia in old age by as many as five years. • Finally, there are the less measurable but equally valuable advantages of bilingualism, such as a more nuanced understanding of how to communicate, sharpened problem-solving skills, and enhanced appreciation of people and cultures from other parts of the world.

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— Kali Sakai

Spanish • French Japanese • Mandarin

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Open new doors for your child with a bilingual education Preschool, K-5 French Immersion www.NorthSeattleFrenchSchool.com (206) 365 1034

Getting a second language to stick Learn with your kid. It’s not enough to just hear a language once a week in a classroom. Even if you’re unsure of yourself, try speaking the language at home, too. Show them how it’s useful. Kids need opportunities to use their skills. Even if it’s ordering food and saying “xie xie” (thank you), it counts. Find your community. Your kid will need friends who speak the same language, and you’ll need the support of other parents. — JiaYing Grygiel

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Parent Day Jobs

You can purchase “Soup Club” at soupclubcookbook.com.

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Meet Caroline Wright, “The Soup Lady” This local author’s latest cookbook ladles up a moving story of community, love — and healthy recipes By Patty Lindley Caroline Wright, a mother of two young boys and a busy and accomplished culinary professional, was juggling far too much already when she received a devastating phone call from her internist in 2017 that utterly upended her life. A scan had confirmed that the headaches she had been experiencing were not migraines after all, but the symptoms of a rapidly growing, malignant brain tumor. Back at home following a swiftly scheduled surgery to remove the tumor and reeling from a diagnosis of terminal cancer, Wright did what most parents with young children do in such a life-and-death crisis: She summoned her mother courage and grasped back creatively and lovingly at life. Given a year to live, she decided to start a blog on the CaringBridge website, both to remain connected with her many friends and family members across the country and abroad, but also to document a legacy of stories for her husband and sons.

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“I started writing from a place of wanting to inform them of who their mother was — not just [about the] cancer — but so that they knew the shape of my fighting in case I lost, and also so that they knew who their mother was,” she recalls. As an outgrowth of her meditations, Wright self-published “Lasting Love,” a preciously illustrated picture-book intended to help children like hers to navigate the experience and fear of losing a loved one to terminal illness. In parallel, a wave of love and support surged in response to Wright’s beautifully written blog. Concerned friends and readers well beyond the circle of her personal community reached out with appeals to help. “[I thought,] what is something I can tell them? I didn’t want to eat packaged food. I didn’t really want to eat a lot of takeout, either. Maybe people have a homemade soup recipe in their back pocket that they make for their family. So, that was the answer: soup.”

Wright’s husband Garth plopped a cooler out on their doorstep, and every day for months, it was filled with jars of nourishing meals for Caroline. She got better, stronger — she defied the daunting odds and prognostications of her dire diagnosis. As Wright passed the milestone of the year’s lease on life she’d been handed, she considered her prospects and came to a decision. “I arrived at my year and I thought, ‘Crap, what do I want to do with my time, now that I know how precious it is?’ And I decided: I want to make soup for the people who made soup for me. That’s the only thing that makes sense right now.” Motivated by deep gratitude and a mission, Wright launched a weekly “soup club,” delivering batches of her own original scrumptious soup recipes to the lucky porches of the friends who aided in her recovery. Word of Soup Club and her inspiring story of community-aided healing spread quickly. Now, more than four years after her glioblastoma diagnosis and treatment, Wright, who already has a number of gorgeous cookbook titles to her credit, has captured her story in a new cookbook that pairs a collection of 80 unique and healthful plant-based recipes with illustration, photography and poetry from her Soup Club members, collaborators and admirers. These recipes for good health and mementos articulate a brave survival

story that demonstrates the power of food, love and community to heal. Wright would tell you that the secret of happiness is taking everything with a grain of salt — especially the predictions made by doctors and meteorologists. We are here including an excerpt of a touching essay of hers we published in ParentMap in 2018, one year after her diagnosis. INSPIRED LEARNING

I’ve always described my kind of mothering as a willingness to “turn myself inside out” for my kids. I mean this as a metaphor for intimacy, openness and commitment, but my diagnosis put it to the test. Being present after a terminal diagnosis is challenging. It’s more comfortable to slide into self-pity, to disconnect from life. But to step aside was, I knew, to disappear too early from life. “If I have a year to live, do I want my kids to see me dying in front of them or truly living as the mother they recognize?” I asked myself. So, I continued. For me, mothering from a place of terminal illness meant living honestly in two different worlds — one of hope that looked for strength and encouragement everywhere, and another of confronting the reality of certain death. I insisted that I had to live hoping — no, fighting — for the best possible outcome, but I also had to make plans to care for my children in case luck wasn’t on my side. So, I wrote and made things for them. I imagined them as boys who I might not get to meet, older boys with questions about a mother whose touch had long since been forgotten. I wrote them a memoir that answered questions that I imagined they would have. I made videos filled with advice on an array of topics. I assembled a trunk of keepsakes and letters, tagged with little notes that hinted at their meaning.

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I turned myself inside out, then scattered and preserved the contents as best as I could for them. Being a mother diagnosed with terminal illness is exactly that: being a mother, with a terminal illness. For me, the mother part came first and gave me a place to go outside of myself when a weak part of me wanted to fold inward. The terminal illness part rooted me in the importance of being present and grateful for the small, daily acts of parenting while holding my hands out for more. Now, years later, I am so grateful for these two worlds I live in. Instead of being opposed to one another, they enhance each other. I am present. I am here for them, quite literally. I exist because I am their mother — and I mother them because I exist. I am lucky and I will turn myself inside out for them as long as I can.

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Without social media, Caroline keeps in touch with her readers with a monthly newsletter. Sign up at carolinewrightbooks.com.

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