Parent To Parent Autumn Magazine 2015

parent to Parent MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

make bullying history culture change leader inspires to challenge bullying

being a support parent vikki pairaudeau talks to us about the benefits of being a support parent

Welcome

Kia ora and welcome to the autumn edition of the Parent to Parent magazine. I hope you and your family were able to enjoy some warm weather over the Easter break. Snow is falling in many parts of the country as I write this column so it looks like colder weather has now well and truly arrived!

Parent to Parent is involved with The Family Leadership Alliance Think Differently Project: Owning a Home of Your Own. This exciting initiative is led by Imagine Better, SAMS, and Parent to Parent examining first time home ownership opportunities for people on low incomes and people with disabilities. We are working with key industry experts to develop a resource for distribution to relevant stakeholders and politicians.

Anne Wilkinson Chief Executive Board Members: Helen Johnson (P), Martin Gallagher (VP), Susan Warrington, Peter Campbell, Andrea Lee, Jim Craig.

Patron: Rob Hamill Life Members: Heather Alford, Linda Davies, Sally Duncan, Ian Evans, Janice Gordon, Helen Henderson, Ray Murray, Gwen Sadler, Tariana Turia, Shirley Wass, Russell Wilkinson, Christine Zander, .

Parent to Parent New Zealand is a nationwide not-for-profit organisation that believes in the value of families supporting families when parenting a child with a disability or heath impairment.

Parent to Parent’s services are free and confidential, and available nationwide through our network of 11 branches and our national office.

Parent to Parent are facilitating the ‘Good Stuff’ information sessions in the Waikato where families can learn more about using the ‘Enabling Good Lives’ approach for their family member. The Enabling Good Lives demonstration starts in the Waikato in July. ‘Good Stuff’ sessions have been well attended in Matamata and Taumarunui, with a session in Hamilton on 20th June at the Quality Inn Hotel.

For more information on the “Good Stuff’ sessions please see the article in this issue.

We are currently recruiting for new roles that will provide the skills to help us reach more families and ensure our message is heard. At the same time our new structure will allow us to continue delivering the high quality core services we currently provide and keep up with ever increasing demand. This is an exciting development for Parent to Parent so watch this space for future announcements.

I’d like to introduce Glenn Lambert-Vickers, our new communications advisor. Glenn has a comprehensive work history with local and national government organisations, and has volunteered as a communications professional for several not-for-profit organisations. He will be managing our website and social media, providing communication guidance, and editing the Parent to Parent magazine.

Welcome Glenn!

We will be holding our annual Awareness Week in August, with a number of programmes being held throughout New Zealand to increase Parent to Parent’s visibility in the community and fundraise. Volunteers are most welcome so if you would like to assist please contact your regional coordinator or National office.

I hope you enjoy this issue of Parent to Parent magazine.

Ka kite ano.

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In this issue 4

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culture change leader challenges bullying

6 the value of being a support parent 8 good stuff waikato sessions prove popular 9

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owning a home of your own

10 combined canoeing adventures a winner 12 life membership honour for dame tariana turia 13

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Get in touch with your nearest branch if you are interested in: • Being connected with a Support Parent • Information on a condition • Attending a workshop • Your children benefiting from Sibling Support

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Parent to Parent New Zealand Inc. PO Box 234 Hamilton 3240 Articles in this magazine by Glenn Lambert-Vickers.

The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of Parent to Parent New Zealand Inc.

CULTURE CHANGE LEADER

Challenges Bullying Top Australian campaigner visits Parent to Bullying can also have a negative impact on the Parent Greater Canterbury for anti bullying perpetrator too, with an estimated 25% chance campaign launch. of bullies having a criminal record by the age of 30. Uncorrected bullying can carry into adulthood, Australian culture change expert Brett Murray with workplace bullying a major cause of lost inspired 47 parents and children with an electric productivity and morale for businesses. talk hosted by Parent to Parent Greater Canterbury on 26th March as part of Murray’s anti-bullying Brett started his New Zealand campaign in campaign launch in New Zealand.

Christchurch due to the extra pressure residents are experiencing. Bullying can go unnoticed due Brett gave a series of talks in Christchurch to to the anxiety and stress resulting from rebuilding schools and community groups facilitated by Listen: lives after the quakes. The stress placed on families Inspired Engagement’s Donna Higgs-Herrick. and the community can result in dysfunction and Donna is also a Support Parent burnout. Kids are expected for Parent to Parent and is the “It’s important to let kids know to cope with adult issues Canterbury Down Syndrome they have an instrinsic self worth. and living within fractured Association coordinator.

They matter, they’re valuable communities.

Brett has been an anti-bullying Brett mixes humour with and precious.” campaigner for 11 years and his own experiences and speaks to 40,000 young people, evidence based statistics to inspire audiences to teachers, parents, and corporate audiences every look at bullying and find solutions to the problem. year. He is a familiar face on Australian television He also discussed the importance of fathers for and a four time Australian of the Year nominee. both sons and daughters and ideas for nurturing Brett was a victim of bullying himself growing up this important relationship. and uses his own experiences as inspiration for his talks. He has overcome the challenges of being Laura Lightfoot, Parent to Parent coordinator bullied to compete at state level in five different Greater Canterbury region, said feedback from sporting fields: surf life saving, rugby league, attendees was overwhelmingly positive. An swimming, surfing, and was the 1998 New South attendee from the Ministry of Social Development Wales boxing champion. Brett is also a published said “I loved the talk with Brett Murray last night. author and television producer.

He has such a gift for the world and I’m behind him every step of the way.”

Bullying is a major issue in New Zealand and is a significant contributor to suicide rates. We have If you would like to find out more about one of the highest rates of suicide in the world, Brett Murray and his campaign to stop especially amongst teens. Studies indicate that bullying, visit his website at children who are bullied are up to nine times www.brettmurray.com.au more likely to suffer suicidal thoughts and 300% more likely to exhibit depressive symptoms. “It’s important to let kids know they have an intrinsic Right: Brett Murray outside self worth, says Brett, “They matter, they’re the Rangi Ruru Girls School in valuable and precious.”

Christchurch. Photo supplied

by Donna Higgs-Herrick 4

PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

Photo: Sheryl Davies

PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

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the value of being a

SupportParent

Parent to Parent connects parents with trained volunteer Support Parents who have a child or family member with the same or similar disability, health impairment, or are experiencing a similar issue. We talk to Vikki Pairaudeau about her experiences as a Support Parent and the benefits of being involved with the programme.

for parents to take on board because if you’re not looking after yourself you’re no use to anyone.

Another unexpected bonus from the course was forging friendships with other Support Parents that have lasted to this day.

for Support Parent training and I knew the value of the service. The Support Parent service works as people can feel isolated, often not even the family understands. Talking to a Support Parent helps you realise you’re not alone.”

Vikki has found calls usually occur at a specific time in a family’s journey, for example at the point of diagnosis, but every call is different. The subject of the call is very much dependent on what the parent wants to talk about. Usually one support phone call is all that is required. The coordinators are available to assist the Support Parent and Vikki says this is particularly useful if they feel the family require more help after the phone call. The coordinator will also follow up with the family.

Vikki wasn’t sure what to expect before making her first Support Parent call but found the process of supporting another family highly rewarding.

The Support Parent programme forms the “You get a real buzz after calling; the feel good core of Parent to Parent’s service. Over 600 factor comes into play. It also helps you see just trained volunteers, who are parents or full time how far you’ve come on your own journey which caregivers of children who have a disability you may not realise from your daily vantage or health impairment, support other parents point.” Vikki prepares for calling by making through the Parent to Parent network. Vikki has sure she is in a good headspace, turning off been involved with Parent to Parent for 15 years, distractions like cellphones, and referring to the first for support before training Parent to Parent “You get a real buzz after calling; the as a Support Parent 10 years forms. “You have ago. feel good factor comes into play. It also to be mindful the other After using Parent to Parent’s helps you see just how far you’ve come of services herself, Vikki felt that on your own journey which you may person’s situation” Vikki says, “and becoming a Support Parent not realise from your remember to focus was a way to pay forward the daily vantage point.” on their journey help that she had received. “I not your own.” like to help people, I saw the ad

The Support Parent programme provides plenty of training and development for the volunteers.

Vikki initially attended the Support Parent training weekend and has since followed up with other Parent to Parent courses, plus a healthy dose of life experience thrown in for good measure.

Learning effective listening skills has been beneficial beyond the Support Parent setting, with Vikki using the techniques to enhance her ability to connect with people in everyday life.

Vikki feels the self care module is very important 6

If you are interested in supporting other parents please contact your regional co-ordinator for details of upcoming Support Parent training courses.

PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

Support Parent Vikki Pairaudeau has been helping families with disabilities through the Support Parent connection for 10 years.

Hi my name is Jessamy Green and I am currently completing a Masters in Health Science through Canterbury University.

I have worked in the Health and Disability Sector for the last 10 years; currently I work with people with intellectual disabilities. For the final part of my Masters I am undertaking research into the impact made on parents by having a trained Support Parent through Parent to Parent.

I am hoping that by completing research in this area it will show the importance of having services like Parent to Parent that provide peer support and information. To complete this I am asking for any parents that have been matched with a trained Support Parent to go to https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/SupportParentSurvey and complete a brief 10-15 minute survey, all responses are completely anonymous and this research is being completed independent of Parent to Parent.

This link will be live until Sunday 21st June 2015, more information will be given by following the link or you can contact me on jessamy. green@pg.canterbury.ac.nz if you have any questions.

Thank you for your time.

PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

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Good Stuff waikato sessions prove popular

Good Stuff sessions prove popular as Waikato families learn more about Enabling Good Lives before the demonstration launch in the region in July.

Parent to Parent are facilitating The ‘Good Stuff’ information sessions in the Waikato in preparation for the Enabling Good Lives (EGL) approach coming to the region from July 2015. The sessions provide information for families on how an EGL approach can help their family member, with presentations from people who use different means of achieving their good lives.

18th March, with 17 participants attending on a beautiful late summer’s evening. Christine (Chris) Potts, Waikato Enabling Good Lives co-director, spoke with participants and provided feedback to questions raised by the audience. Janet Cave shared Ross Cave’s story. Nellie Harris, Service Coordinator for Disability Support Link (DSL) outlined the Choices in Community Living concept.

This approach is now out of demonstration and being successfully used by many people in Auckland and Waikato. Choices in Community Living helps people have more choice and control over how they live, where they live, and with whom they live.

Enabling Good Lives, a partnership between the Debbie Davidson, Parent to Parent’s Family and disability community and government agencies, Community Development Coordinator, is running aims to transform the way disabled people and the ‘Good Stuff’ sessions. their families are supported in Debbie senses a real “As we grasp the new model their everyday lives. Enabling undercurrent of excitement disabled people and their families Good Lives has been take back control and use choice, as the new concepts, ideas demonstrated in Christchurch, and supports become lives will not only be good but with a Waikato demonstration available for New Zealanders amazing.” as the next phase of trialing who have a disability, and the approach. their family/whanau. Pilots A ‘Good Stuff’ session was held in Matamata on and demonstrations are coming to an end, Valentines Day, with 33 people in attendance. with business as usual beginning to take place.

Kate Cosgriff, Waikato Enabling Good Lives Feedback and official reports indicate peoples Demonstration co-director, was on hand to provide lives are ‘good’, Debbie says, “As we grasp the an overview and answer participants’ questions. new model disabled people and their families take Kate has strong links with Hamilton and the wider back control and use choice, lives will not only be Waikato region from her previous role as Regional good but amazing.”

Manager for CCS Disability Action Waikato/Bay of Plenty. Tegan Morris and mother Sue shared The ‘Good Stuff’ session for Hamilton their experience with using individual funding will be held on Saturday 20th June options as part of building a good life. Russell 10.30-2.30pm, at the Quality Inn Hotel.

Wilkinson introduced Rebecca Boulton who gave To register for this session or for more a presentation on how Michelle Wilkinson uses information please contact Parent to Choices in Community Living as a component of Parent. her good life.

The next session was held in Taumarunui on 8

PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

OwningOFAYOUR Home OWN Project aims to find ways to increase first time home ownership options for people on low incomes and people with disabilities.

The Owning a Home of Your Own project is a think tank focused on exploring ideas to increase first time home ownership opportunities for people on low incomes and people with disabilities. The first think tank was held in Wellington on March 11th.

Home ownership rates in New Zealand are falling.

In 1990 76% of New Zealanders owned their own home; by 2013 this rate had dropped to 63% 1 . Home ownership is a key component of individual, family, and community health and stability.

The situation is particularly challenging for those on benefits, low incomes, and/ or people living with disabilities.

Low pay levels and unemployment experienced by people with disabilities can result in poor living conditions.

The project has been set up by The Family Leadership Alliance to explore ideas for assisting people into home ownership, particularly those on low incomes and people living with disabilities.

The think tank will work with representatives from banking, insurance, and social housing agencies to generate possible solutions. The Family Leadership Alliance consists of Parent to Parent, Standards and Monitoring Services (SAMS), and Imagine Better, who all work with families in the disability sector. The lead team consists of Rebecca Walton with SAMS, Sue Robertson of Imagine Better, and Debbie Davidson & Anne

Wilkinson from Parent to Parent.

Spokesperson Rebecca Walton says the target group are first time home buyers who may have a long term dependency on a benefit. “The purpose of the project is to generate discussion, look at possible solutions, and develop partnerships across key stakeholders” Walton says, “We will also be gathering specific information to assist families who have a family member with a disability.”

Funding for the project is provided by the Ministry of Social Development through the ‘Think Differently’ campaign.

Think Differently is a social change campaign that seeks to encourage and support a fundamental shift in attitudes and behaviours t o w a r d s d i s a b l e d people. It works across community and national level to mobilise action and demonstrate the benefits of inclusive communities. The campaign aims to change attitudes and beliefs through increased knowledge and understanding of disability.

The information generated at the think tanks will be collated into a resource that will be distributed to interested parties. The information will form future action plans and be used to identify other key stakeholders who may wish to be involved with the project as it develops. The project team will also provide feedback to relevant government ministers.

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Source: The Home Affordability Challenge, NZIER 2014

PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

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Combined Canoeing adventures a winner Shared canoeing outings prove a great way to make new friendships and to enjoy new experiences for children with disabilities and Vinnies Youth in Nelson The second combined Parent to Parent Nelson and Vinnies Youth group canoeing trip was held in February 2015, building on from the successful inaugural outing in 2014.

Regional coordinator Jane Linn and parent Philippa Winch worked together to devise an outing for local Parent to Parent families and Vinnies Youth. Philippa is the Nelson Area Council Vinnies Youth Coordinator for the Society of St Vincent de Paul. The Vinnies are a group of 1113 year olds working on community projects to make a positive difference for people in need.

Philippa had been teaching her group about the positive achievements people with disabilities can make and felt a shared activity could be a

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great experience for the Vinnies and children with disabilities. As the mother of a child with special needs Philippa is also involved with Parent to Parent so approached Jane to investigate an outing for both groups. They worked with James Alker at Wilderness Canoe Journeys charitable trust to organise a canoeing adventure with funding provided by Pub Charity.

Wilderness Canoe Journeys supplied 3 person capacity canoes. Each canoe had a young person with a disability, their parent/caregiver, and a Vinnie youth. After mastering paddling, participants set off for a paddle around boats moored in the bay before heading up the mouth of the Matai River.

The outing provided the chance for friendships to be made amongst people who otherwise may not have met, with one parent reporting her daughter had really enjoyed spending time with

PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

A lot of fun had on the water. Photos supplied by Philipa Winch

her Vinnie. The children with disabilities gained from the support of their more able bodied peers and the Vinnies were able to understand some of the challenges faced by people with disabilities.

The inaugural outing was a success with positive feedback from all involved. Theresa, one of the Vinnies, felt it was a chance to share an adventure with people she might not otherwise meet. “I saw that people with disabilities are no different to us” Theresa said, “They just have a different way of learning.” Participants were eager to repeat the adventure so another outing was organised in February.

Jane would love to see more community partners getting involved in activities with children with disabilities. “I think this model provides a great starting point, it is a move to an inclusive model rather than an ‘us’ and ‘them’ view of different community groups.”

“Taking part in the activities has indeed set us on a shared journey” Philippa says, “One we hope will continue.”

Life honour Membership for dame tariana turia

Life membership for Dame Tariana Turia in recognition of her work and ongoing support of our organisation.

Life membership was bestowed on Dame Tariana Turia at the 2014 Parent to Parent annual general meeting in Hamilton. The honour specifically recognises the many years of support Mrs Turia has given our organisation, as well as her significant contribution to whanau and families who have children with disabilities.

Mrs Turia retired from Parliament in September after serving as Minister of Disability Issues and Associate Minister of Health. Under her leadership the Ministry of Health’s new model initiatives began and Mrs Turia commissioned the Enabling Good Lives Report. As Minister, she took personal responsibility to ensure these transformations were actioned. This critical work is now well underway with two major demonstrations, where government agencies are working together in partnership with disabled people and their whanau who are leading this work.

From left to right: Parent to Parent CE Anne Wilkinson, Dame Tariana Turia and Parent To Parent National President Helen Johnson

Helen Johnson, Parent to Parent National President, says in her role as Minister Mrs Turia has always been personally approachable and supportive of our organisation. “She has always shown a true understanding of the issues faced by people with disabilities and their whanau. It is with great pleasure that the Parent to Parent National Board bestows life membership upon Dame Tariana.”

Tariana Turia engaged in conversation at the Parent To Parent National Office Opening in 2014.

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PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

events diary see what is happening in your region all parent to parent events are free

THE GOOD STUFF An information session for Waikato families which shares success stories of families using Enabling Good Lives approaches to support their family member.

20 Jun • Quality Inn Hotel, Hamilton

RENEW A short workshop set in a tranquil venue that explores natural support networks, grief, family resilience and managing stress. Meet other parents in your area.

6 Jun • The Landing Service Building, Timaru 12 Jun • Venue to be confirmed, Waikato SIBSHOP / SIBCAMP A day or weekend camp for kids aged 8-18 who have a brother or sister with a disability.

30 May • Maungaraki Community Centre, Wellington Sept • Auckland, details to be confirmed Oct • Southland, details to be confirmed

SECOND GENERATION Adult siblings, parents and whanau of disabled and health impaired people come together to build a vision for the future good life of their family member.

15 - 17 May • Airport Gateway Motor Lodge, Christchurch 10 - 12 July • Sudima Hotel, Auckland

SUPPORT PARENT TRAINING The course covers communication skills, grief issues and provides opportunities for personal awareness where parents can consider their ability to support others.

16 - 17 May • Parent to Parent branch Wellington Date and venue to be confirmed • Hawkes Bay

TO FIND OUT MORE OR TO REGISTER FOR THESE EVENTS AND OTHERS: WWW.PARENTTOPARENT.ORG.NZ • NATIONAL@PARENT2PARENT.ORG.NZ • 0508 236 236 MaryAnn and her committee love to organise events just for families. One of the favourites is family bowling days PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015 at the SuperBowl Invercargill.

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Renew is a day just for parents, where you can learn some new ideas, meet new people, and leave feeling refreshed and positive.

Renew is a short workshop set in tranquil venue that explores growing natural support networks, Second Generation brings together adult siblings, parents understanding grief, family resilience and and whanau of disabled and health impaired people, to managing stress. work together to build a vision for the future good life of Meet other parents in your area and enjoy a day out their disabled family member. Many siblings really want to from the pressures of life. Renew is provided at no take an active part in their brother or sister’s life, so the cost, and a delicious lunch is provided. workshop promotes effective sharing of ideas between the family members, and the creation of an all-inclusive UPCOMING COURSES family plan for their family members future.

19 Feb Hollard Gardens, Kaponga, Taranaki 11 March 18 April

Bushmere Estate, Gisborne A Place to Be, Napier

Visit www.parenttoparent.org.nz or phone 0508 236 236 to register for any of these events.

15 - 17 MAY The Airport Gateway Motor Lodge, Christchurch

10 - 12 JULY Sudima Hotel, Auckland

to find out more contact parent to parent

New Zealand Permit No. 164497

if undeliverable return to po box 234 hamilton 3240