Blink issue 25 july12 2014

THE QUIET INDIAN The spectre of Graham Greene haunts our vascular surgeon on a Vietnamese massage table p5 saturday, july 12, 2014

RITU RAJ KONWAR

From the forests of Agumbe to the swollen rivers of Guwahati, quarries of Kasaragod to the suburban sprawl of Mumbai, life comes full circle when it rains p6

The promise of rain

A GLOBAL GAME An elegant ode to football, which imprints upon the world its own order p15

CHAMBERS OF MEMORY When Hyderabad’s many mansions played host to weddings and dreams p16

explore know

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The truth is out there

Support system A recruitment drive at Delhi’s Dargah Shahe-Mardan ; (below) a sheaf of volunteer forms kamal narang

CREATURE FEATURE

Bee-eater

The myth of the Yeti hasn’t given up its ghost Aon Mohammad, 24, Saharanpur, narang UP, volunteer yet. Researchers have found nokamal evidence to prove the abominable snowman doesn’t exist

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n the autumn of 1958, Tintin yielded DNA evidence. These were heads to the snow-capped traced back to known species of mountains of Tibet, accompa- mammals — cows, horses, raccoons, nied by the faithful Snowy, a dogs, wolves and even one human harried Captain Haddock and a fear- “of likely European matrilineal ful Sherpa. Looking for their friend descent”.

Chang, who disappears after a plane While there is no sign of the while ago, I was asked these helpers may help at several crash, they encounter the “abomin- mythical Yeti yet in the findings, in what my favourite bird is. nests. This generosity begins to able snowman”, the “pithecan- two of the samples from Ladakh and Bilal, 33, Delhi,isspokesperson I took some time to con- make sense when we learn that thropic pickpocket” who purloins Syed Bhutan, there evidence of DNA seand volunteer kamal narang sider the question, but these species of bee-eaters live in litthe good captain’s flask of whiskey. quences from polar bears that my answer has since been unwa- tle joint-families, or ‘clans’. Each After a few such run-ins, they find match samples taken earlier vering — bee-eaters. Why bee-eaters? clan comprises a few pairs plus sevthat the Himalayan terror is just a 6,400km away on the Arctic island Because of their brilliant colours, eral unpaired or non-breeding indimisunderstood creature with a of Svalbard, and have no resemtheir lovely swooping flight, and the viduals that assist in raising others’ heart that’s as big as his hairy head. blance to modern examples of the endearing manner in which they offspring. Individuals join a clan eiA new research on the genetic species. The Ladakh sample smash insects against tree branches ther by being born into it, or by roots of the Yeti has found the came from an animal or electricity wires, thus ridding ‘matrimony’, inducted into the clan most credible evidence so far shot 40 years ago by a bees of their stings before eating of the individual they pair up with, from Ladakh, which borders hunter, who reported them. Soon after declaring bee-eat- in time, leading to clans of closely Tibet, and cites Captain that its behaviour was ers as my favourite feathered crean the past week, nearly 600 Indians have andtrip Haddock’s related individuals their mates. to Iraq, and Bilal appears to be“ungulate” at the forevery different from tures, I learnt yet another reason been brought back from Iraq on char- ought classification of the YeThis social structure fronttoofsound the movement.

Apart from enlisting the brown bears, a that validated mytered choice — bee-eatflights.

The Ministry of External ti inin itsLucknow, footnotes. familiar to you.Af-Onethe can almost help of its branches Bangalore familiar species in ers live in some offairs the most complex (MEA) is preparing toturning evacuate legends of imagine on theand television to amongThe Mumbai, others, the outfit also those parts. The Mohammad Ali, 19, Muzaffarnagar, societies known in birds.

10,000 othersAnd stillthese stranded in the conflictthe forYeti, the flight. watch Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Thi arranged claimsBahu it has a chartered Bhutan sample UP, volunteer kamal narang was recovered societies are torn built country, like it did when the first Gulf—War the“All we’re North American from MoBee-Eater waiting for is permission around the broke simplest out in 1990. theBilal.

Edition. diji, and we’ll be onBigfoot, our way,” says from a bamof nests, nothing Meanwhile in Delhi, Anjuman-e-Haidari,Does a a joint-family Russian Almas- operation, The logistics of such a large-scale boo forest, As we flip through the sheaf of volunteer more than holes dug Shia organisation, claims nearly 30,000 structure Indi- however, ty or Sasexplain why seem unclear at the moment, as also forms, we stumble upon the name identified by Ashish KuOne can almost in the sand. ans have signed up as volunteers to take the quatch helpers help?

It does, the agenda for ‘work’ in Iraq.

“We are not golocals as the mar — a rather unusual recruit for a holy Shia imagine turning on A solitaryflight bee-eatthe other the waytelevision round. The is consider cryptid if you ing there why to fight but only tohave protect our holy mission. “I see humanitariannest of in a migyvalue this,” to Anjuman er’s nest issupposedly easy to the watch only organisation in the world been around organisms reproduce shrines and help out people in need. We want says Kumar, 32, a resident of south hur, Delhi’s the BhutaEast Kyunki Saas miss, unless to you hap- such launch an initiative.

While a majority since the in the first place. to provide first-aid and help in any other way nese version of of Kailash neighbourhood.

“I’m a ‘hardcore’ Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi — pen to spot of anthose adultwho the haveBee-Eater enrolled for it — menFrom and the 19th centu-we will form a Hindu, there’s no doubt about weperspective can but, most importantly, the Yeti. that.

ButSurpriswhen I Edition flying into women its unrefrom all walks of life — are fromofthe ry. the Butshrines cryp- in Karbala, if heard of this, I thought if ingly, evolution by chain natu- around human thebandage Ladakh I get to markable Shia hole.sect,Ifthere are Sunnis and even a couple ral ofselection, orga-try to tozoology, the terrorists desecrate them,” he says. were someone or help out thosestrands in trouble it’ll be you’re lucky,Hindus you may on the list as well. nisms reproduce to Ali, which Mohammad 19, from isMu-the golden-brown and good. Everyone lives for themsee them dart As briefly news of the Islamic State of Iraq and ensure Syria zaffarnagar search foris animals the persistin Uttar Pradesh, the Bhutanese hair selves nowadays.

I feel you have into their nest openings and quickly (ISIS) destroying holy Shia sites trickles in, in future whose existence ence of their genes not asgeneraarticulate as Bilal.

But is not was reddish-brown. to do something for society.” Kuflick out some sand their feet. fear many inwith the community thatBut Karbala es- inherit such as the tions. since—you whenhalf weyour tell Ali andproven, a few others This an discovery has mar also shares obscure story of evidence As Yewe flip“Absence through the But many species ofthe bee-eaters pecially shrine oflive Hussain Ibn from Ali, the most ti, are the genes each parent anddargah there- that we at the hereChupacabra to produced a compliof a Rajput king travelling to is not evidence of sheaf of volunteer in huge colonies, numerous reveredtheir site for Shias after fore Mecca andhalf Medina cats, share your genes eachtheir and talkwith about plans,phantom they cated puzzle; as war The help fighters during the holy forms for the absence” holy nest-holes pock sandytoo. cliffThesibling, — ismarking under threat Iraqi government never ac- mission, we your own reproduction isn’t intohas quickly change a white pull-been Shia reported, of Karbala,Guardian only to arrive too late. faces, packed sostepped densely up that one around has security cepted as a proper stumble scithe onlythe waymonuto propelover someofofsorts, yournot unlike a pheran, “It’s a dim memory of An episode that he clearly hopes upon the wonders why the and cliffsIran don’t ments has colreportedly armed entific discipline.

And Ashish Kumar genessent intointhe futurewith — you thecould words ‘Volunteers for sexual ento re-enactimprobable almost a millennium name lapse.

Each nest serves as last forces for their protection far, only helpmonth. a family member reproduce Iraq’ inked in red, insoEnglish and two amcounters in the Siberlater, but well on time. a nursery to Delhi, the chicks Back in Syed of Bilal, successfully 33, a softwareinstead. engi- This researches have speculated ian past”. logic is esUrdu.

“Hum shaheedbiguous honge (we’ll Among the women who plan a single pairand of bee-eaters, but for neer spokesperson the Anjuman, as when on anomalous pecially compelling times martyrs),” are become says Ali, primates or the Yeti.

Despite the lack ofKumar hard evidence, to accompany and the if you watch how many differwell as a volunteer for the trip, says, “Our In what the “first ever systematic the rest tough and youcamaren’t likely repro- on the whentoquizzed risksisenresearch, published in Altaf, the Proof the party is Asma 23, ent individuals leave stunt. paign isenter not aand publicity feel it is ouryourself survey”, a team duce Isuccessfully — One before tailed. of threegenetic siblings, Ali has been of in researchof the Royal to Society B telelast a residentceedings of Srinagar.

Speaking us over a nest, you’ll find that more obligation to protect ledfew by geneticist Bryan of Altaf you’ve found a mate, for instance, the Capital or for the ers past months after heC Sykes week, theready two to Himaphone, says,claims “We arethat always save than two adults can act as partheseinsites Karbala Oxford University have traced yearsinwhen food isgraduated scarce, orfrom if school.

“I live near the dargah layanand samples could “contribute to ourthe religion; whatever happens is god’s ents to a single clutch. Who are and your Najaf.chicks When of 30 getthey eaten by a ravenous now and do what isorigin required of hair me. Ifsamples the bestattributed the biological foundation of the will. For me, saving these monuments is Yeti cruthese birds, and why do they helpallow other humanianomalous snake before they leave the thing to nest. do now is to go and protectprimates.

Karbala, Two especially as reported by cial.”ofShe legend, also believes that if, there is a 60 per raise someone else’s offspring? tarian groups to go, raise I I’m these samples from Helping relatives their chicks ready to do it,” says the30young man.discovered,cent theofhunter shota view the Ladakh chance makingwho it to Iraq; echoed More curious than the don’t see why weensures can’t that Ladakh and belongbytomany a specimen, successfully leastAon Mohammad, Hisat friend 24,Bhutan, a commerce they behave more aggresof the other hopefuls.

Bilal is more mere presence of help- be some sent?” he genes asks, make long-lostalso Paleolithic Ur- sively of your it intofrom the Saharanpur, graduate in UP, ispolar even bear, humans than known hopeful: “We towards will consider entering Iraq ers is the fact that, in when meet him atalbeit susBut maritimus. nextwegeneration, indirectly. more sure of himself. his reasons for pack- through Turkey, indigenous species.”

PredictSyria bear or Iran in case we can’t some species, the Theasproject in to 2012, fly when It’s Dargah not quiteShah-eas good asing raising your his bags remain just unclear.began “I’d like ably, the scientific community has in directly.”

Mardan in the but Jor isn’t people were invited to submit hair own offspring, that exactly from save humanity the terrorists of ISIS,” he made light of such preliminary findBut with Syed Akbaruddin, spokesperson Bagh samples of agree, unknown whatarea. you hope you can on and my says.count “I think, parents thatprimates the forthat ings,making but as Sykes, who will release a the MEA, the government’s stand The forAnjuman, be the Yeti.

57 samples family — to help you theneed tocould holymake shrines be protected and Of if I the don’t book on the this fall and clear on the subject at aYetis press briefing onhead June one most vo- go now, I can’t live with received, 20 were discarded bestofofthe a bad situation? myself.

In some ways, after to the Himalayas after, writes intravthe 26 —an “Indian nationals are advised not to cal Shia groups in we are all born to die, initial microscopic so whymacroscopic, not die for some“Absence of evidence is not el to Iraq.paper, That applies to every Indian nationambikaiskamath studiesgood.” organis-Mohammad the country, go- thing and infrared expects examination. to spend up The evidence of absence”. al” —re-the road to Karbala is not an easy one. and evolutionary biology atfor the maining ing all mic out to to ₹70,000 samples trip, and 37 hopes that were Anju-subjected arasupriyanka kotamraju recruit forHarvard the University to a of genetic analysis, and 30 ofsibi them man will cover the rest the expenses.

Meet the colourful avian that lives in some of the most complex societies

A Mission Karbala

While the government is busy bringing back Indian citizens from Iraq, volunteers of Anjuman-e-Haidari are hoping to head in the opposite direction

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More importantly, the Budget proposed that the National Rural Employment Guarantee Act (NREGA), which assures a minimum of 100 days’ work to every rural household, has to be revamped. While the previous government increased NREGA allocation by 10 per cent to ₹33,000 crore last fiscal, the Modi government has raised it by just 1 per cent to ₹33,300 crore.

So far, NREGA meant giving employment, and wages, to rural workers irrespective of the qualiSteps to curb food ty or necessity of the work done. inflation and offload But not anymore. “It will be linkgrains will cause farm ed to agriculture-related activincomes to fall ities,” Finance Minister Arun Jaitley has said.

The Economic Survey also pointed to the need to ‘prevent the misuse’ of NREGA, which has been cited as a major reason behind the recent price rise.

The daily wages under the scheme vary from ₹153 in Meghalaya to ₹227 in Chandigarh.

Now, the wages will depend on asset creation.

This means a check on the almost unhindered dole-out for rural workers. This, in turn, will adversely affect rural spending power.

“Indicators suggest a further slowdown (in rural consumption). For the last one year, there has been some slowdown and quarterly results have been showing stress in volume growth,” says Dhananjay Sinha, head of research at Emkay Global Financial Services.

Sales volume growth for HUL, India’s largest FMCG company, has fallen to four per cent in December 2014 from 10 per cent two years ago.

“This trend may be reinforced,” he adds. HUL faces a slowing market growth, both by volume and value, across categories.

The MSP for rice has been increased only by 3.8 per cent this year, compared with the 9 per cent a year increase on average since 2007-08.

This means a rice-growing farmer’s income would have increased by nearly 50 per cent in the last five years. The government is now unwilling to be as generous with the MSP hike.

By increasing the minimum export price of onion by 67 per cent to $500 per tonne, the rural India led the consumption party — offer- government has made it difficult for farmers ing hope to corporates in the doldrums. to profit from exports. This limits the earning But going by the Modi government’s recent opportunity for onion growers too. decisions and the below-normal monsoons so Jaitley said during the Budget speech that far, the rural growth story may slow down the government shall undertake open market sooner than later. Additionally, the annual sales (of agricultural products) to keep prices Budget has called for reforming urea prices under control. and for targeted subsidies. While the Budget “If the government goes aggressively after offers 13 per cent growth in total expenditure, containing food inflation and couples this rural development will receive only 6.7 per with offloading grains (in the market), then cent more, at around ₹80,000 crore. realisable income at the farm-level will start reducing. That means the cash flow will start reducing,” says Sinha.

And that would impact the rural consumption story. The looming possibility of drought is further likely to slow down rural consumption, but will not stop it altogether. “While drought may become a reality this year, it is not impossible to find one extra customer in every village. Moreover, the rural economy is not only about farming. There are others supporting the economy — teachers, artisans, weavers and many others,” says Mayank Pareek, COO at Maruti Suzuki. And he has another reason to be upbeat. “People in rural areas have accumulated wealth in the last five years.

There is resilience if the incomes have increased by 50 per cent in five years,” he adds.

Idea Cellular, which has built a strong telecom business in rural areas, remains optimistic too. “These are measures with long-term benefit. In the short term, there may be some hiccups, but these measures are required as a bitter pill for a sweeter future,” says Idea CMO Sashi Shankar.

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Shopping drought ahead?

The lack of any budget sops adds to rural India’s woes

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f there has been a saviour for India Inc after the 2008 Lehman crisis, it has been rural India. While urban dwellers were struggling with pay cuts, pink slips and a nose-diving stock market, nearly six lakh villages were busy rejoicing bountiful harvest after good monsoons, rapidly rising minimum support price (MSP) for crops and steady cashflow from the government’s rural employment guarantee scheme. From buying bikes and tractors to fairness creams and noodles,

When it rains...

Consumer goods found eager buyers in villages flush with cash from bumper harvests and job guarantee schemes bloomberg/ prashanth vishwanathan; (top) farmers process mustard seeds in Alwar district, Rajasthan afp/sajjad hussain

rashmi pratap

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LIGHTHOUSE

Football Folding= Chess + Poker up the map

The real contest in football is outside the penalty box, not inside. The goals are happenstance Hard luck, really Netherlands’ Arjen Robben consoles goalkeeper Iker Casillas after Spain’s ‘unlucky’ rout in the World Cup ap/natacha pisarenko

ics recently called The Numbers Game, by Chris Anderson and David Sally. The book starts off by making the controversial point that football is “basically a 50/50 game. Half of it is luck, and half of it is skill.” They cite a study by Eli Ben-Naim, Sidney Redner and Federico Vazquez that looked at more than 43,000 games of football played in the top flight of English football since 1888 and found that the likelihood of the underdog winning was 45.2 per cent. (A draw is considered half a win here, for statistical purposes.)

Many the stats that book callnever out tosee theeach o unfold a map is to unfold adven- was warm and comforting. haveofmet.

Eveninthough you’ll poker player in even me, though given that I amnothing now to ture. Listen carefully as you smooth Just a few centuries ago, cartographers were other again, you have trained probabilistically. Over time, out those well-worn creases and you the heroes of a generation; courted by kings, offertointhink return. across leagues and continents, perfor cent of a sewill hear the snapping of sails over a coddled by empire builders and military stratWhen someone draws a 20 map you, corners to ainshot on goal, and at around 11 of a perfect blue ocean. Close your eyes and you egists. The early cartographers of the Survey of rieslead of lines the fine red sand the side per cent go in. That means around will feel the steady, increasing rhythm of a India worked cloaked in secrecy, using Buddroad of or those indecipherable grids on the back of a one in 50 corners in a goal. masterful train leaving the station. Your map is your tick- hist prayer beads to count paces, disguised as receipt, they results are showing youA how they look analysis ofthis Lionel Messi

by Benjamin map Morris et. To sit before an unfolded map, tracing out monks. The core of cartography is curiosity, upon world.

A hand-drawn is preon fivethirtyeight.com reveals scores that uneven lines of untouched road, is to feel the desire to explore the world around us. If cious and unique.

It is athat wayMessi of learning from outside the this penalty area 12.1 cent of and small and humble. This world is large, barely knowledge is power then the world is per beautiful the time (one in eight times)Hard and from a direct to knowable, our time here already running out. pull of the unknown is more strange. to describe free kick 8 per cent of the and timenever (one exactly in 12.5 the I have loved maps since I was a little girl and powerful still. strangers times). Thus, everysame corner worth 0.022 goals. my days were filled with them. In school, we I never imagined that one day foristwo people.

Every wrong Messi free-kickTo where goesGPS forisgoal had maps on our pencil boxes, maps lying in maps would become something trusthe your to is forget With every 0.08 goals.

In the long run, that’s what wait on the back covers of notebooks. We had that no one used any more. Ob- turn youworth how fragile and interconnected take, you are weadventure get. In the short run, in a particular maps curled up and lurking above black- solete, unwanted, unloved, lanour world is. Batteriesmatch, will drain shaking it’sthe largely luck, whether those gowill in ordisappear, not. boards, waiting to be yanked down. We even guishing under piles of and networks out from insides That is why the truest indicator of a team’s had globes to spin, which we did repeatedly telephone books, VCRs and and even the most reliable of of your pockets quality comes in agadgets league format, knockwith our eyes closed to determine where we reams of writing paper. will let not you adown for no out format, and England’s best That teamlonely is likelier I understand the allure of satwould live when we grew up (often, disapgood reason. satellite to be the winner revolving of the Premier League pointingly, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean). ellite-based navigation systems around ourthan planet the FA Cup. When we still didn’t know who we were, a map — that a smartphone with GPS redoes not care about the tree fallwhat the makes the World Cup so cruel. could at least tell us where we were, and this ceivers and mapping can make you feel invin- That’s en across road, the broken water pipe, the One unending unlucky day is all itprocession takes for a with dream cible when facing the open road. I can even wedding thetoshellagnus Carlsen loves football. He ciateunderstand end. shocked Considerbridegroom two matches the nuanceswhy of the struggle between bat desome argue that these on a between horse. Spain kicked off a Real Madrid-Real Val- and ball.

In the of the World in football outside and Netherlands. vicesThe arereal the contest next logical step iniscartography.

A folded map is final a thing of 2010 beauty — quiet ladolid match on his 23rd birth- the penalty Cup, It Arjen missed a the box, inside.

The that the spirit of and dignified.

However, it isnot hard to imagine existsRobben to remind you that day last November in a Real goalsCaptain great be opportunity in wonders the 82nd are happenstance.

James Cook would be smiling down world cannot folded up. Its are to Madrid T-shirt, which he also wore to the minute,and ahead of all the upon the soul who insists on using only turn- be experienced explored, notdefendexplained. he other game I love, besides Champions League final between Real and Aterswrong with only to beat. by-turn navigation.

That he would applaud With every turnIker youCasillas take, you are shakFans who want lots of chess, is of poker.

I’ve been a reduced to the ing adventure letico Madrid. Vishy Anand, who he beat for Four years Spain leadthe idea exploration being out later, from with the insides of your goals in football are poker for the compressing this pockets. ing the World Championship last year, also sup- professional Davidhas Silvajust missed a great mere input of aplayer destination, This1-0, journey begun. like the philistines and one the video game. ports Real Madrid, and their fanhood of this last four chance to get them 2-0 up, which worldyears, of ours into an of unwieldy who just want fours I’ve best gained from it a the ones where snigdha might sport is befitting. Football is basically chess things The wellis ahave sealed the manickavel Hyderabad-based writer journeys areisnot and sixes in cricket muchyou deeper appreciation of arrow the played on a field with 22 variables. match. The first miss cost Nethfollow a blinking but the ones luck you in sports, The main protagonists at the Champions role of erlands the World Cup; the secwhere throwincluding a map into your bag and League final were not any of their players, but in football. ond one proved costly as hope for the best. As you drive with your Poker is aand game where skill the two coaches Carlo Ancelotti and Diego SiNetherlands stormed back into creased flimsy companion, you are forced itself in the long run,and butagain. luck plays meone. As Jonathan Wilson wrote in Inverting manifests the match. Even after Spain disintegrated, to look around you again To match partisinon thethe short run.with Here’s a simple ex- You the Pyramid, his magisterial book on the histo- a huge though, they had nine attempts at goal to what paper what you see. let’sthat sayathat I are all onyou a alry of football tactics, “Football is not about ample: Netherlands’s 13. Even in a match that one side know mapyou is a and powerful toolinbut you hold the top pair and I hold amap players […]: it is about shape and about space, flop where won 5-1, luck played a big part. (For the record, so know that it is not enough.

A folding flush never draw. presume I am 38 per cent to win about the intelligent deployment of players, smallwould I still think Spain is one of the best teams in to estimate yourthe time of you areIt 62 per cent. the first time and their movement within that deploy- hand,arrival. the world and tiki-taka is far from finished — knows thatNow, an important part of may hit thebe flush, and of youanything. lose. but that’s a topic for another day.) ment.” Coaches are the masterminds who, this happens, travellingI is to never too sure luck. may at even first with over a century of history to draw upon, That’s just When weItgaze ourhappen devicesthe and scurry The realisation of how big a part luck plays or four times, if youingetthoroughly really unlucky. marshal their resources the best they can. To threethrough in any individual match hasn’t diminished my the world efficient time, play this hand thousands anyone aware of this history, and following But over enjoyment of the game, but heightened it. The ways, we as arewe forgetting the most important out, and win rateplanet. will To the dynamics with each individual contest, of times, management of luck is at the heart of poker, partitofwill oureven sojourn on your this watery your equity in the hand — that is, you’ll football is deeply complex and extremely fas- reflect and of football as well. The best coaches know connect with the otherpeople who are here win 62 perus.cent theeven time, and will make a this, always working hard to increase their cinating, even when a match is a 0-0 draw. with Howofcan is all about This is why it irritates me no end when so- profit. thePoker hardest heart not getting yourself re- probabilities of winning, optimising furiously, profitable called fans — mostly folk who wake up during peatedly be into touched whenspots, on average, and aiming for efficiency and, when they succeed, enough hands the World Cup every four years — celebrate playing strangers cometo make sure that the achieving a beauty that is more than just skinrun manifests itself, and you end up a deep. Football combines the qualities of chess games with open, attacking football and lots long forward to help even though of goals, and deride matches that are scrappy winner and—guide when the outcome of any one and poker, and has much else besides. No wonhandlost? may be decided by luck. But der they call it the beautiful game. and messy. Fans who want lots of goals in foot- particular you are does this have ball are like the philistines who just want lots whatPeople whoto do with football? t@amitvarma I read fascinating book on football analytof fours and sixes in cricket, and don’t appregazea at you, curious and pleased that you

Who knew that one day maps would become obsolete, unwanted, unloved, languishing under piles of telephone books, VCRs and reams of writing paper?

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Amit Varma is a novelist. He blogs at indiauncut.com

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BAWDY LINE

The massage With the exception of actual coitus and its accompanying practices, cutaneous tactile stimulation by a massage is perhaps the most gratifying dorsal or ventral pleasure Desexualised She must keep it studiedly asexual while appearing devoted to a client’s body shutterstock

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Ambarish Satwik is a Delhi-based vascular surgeon and writer

t was in my 38th summer, lying prone on a massage table in an effeminate G-string made seemingly out of transparent tissue, with the most beautiful nubile young woman in Vietnam straddling the lower slopes of my back that I apprehended the full meaning of the human integument: that the skin, the largest organ in the body, with its predominant purpose of tactile receptivity, is formed in the unborn embryo from the early germ of the neuro-ectoderm — the germ that also forms the central nervous system. Therefore, with the exception of actual coitus and its accompanying practices, cutaneous tactile stimulation by the Vietnamese massage is perhaps the most gratifying dorsal or ventral pleasure available to our species. And there is something of a micro-economy dedicated to that proposition.

And, just as I was descending into a lower state of consciousness, she dug her elbows into the minor trough between my scapulae and mentioned that at this place, on Dong Khoi, by the river Saigon, which was now the Sheraton Saigon Hotel and Towers, once stood the apartment of the girl who provided the inspiration for Phuong in Graham Greene’s novel The Quiet American. Phuong: Greene’s real-life f*** buddy and mellow fruit, and the grand prize in his novel on Vietnam. What she effectively meant was that this is where she would straddle him and prepare his opium pipe and pleasure him polymorphously. ‘The hiss of steam, the clink of a cup, she was a certain hour of the night and the promise of rest.’

At this point, one is compelled to state an endemic prejudice that inflames the North Indian imagination: that the varied and various eastern young women (anyone remotely paleo-Mongoloid in appearance) are in some way or the other sexually permissive, available, promiscuous and purchasable. And that all of them are in a state of continuing depilated grace for the delectation of their patrons. That’s why (the prejudice goes on to dovetail with empirical evidence), in India, women from the liberal Northeastern hills are

part of me. It was all duty and pleasure and marked by a sublime lack of embarrassment on her part. She would, for instance, quite insouciantly, move parts of my reproductive anatomy around if they were getting in her way. For my part I think I kept her entertained by showing how prolific and well-ordered my cremasteric reflex was. The reflex is an urgent contraction of the cremaster muscle in the scrotum upon stroking the upper and inner thigh leading to a sudden pulling up of the testis on the side stroked. For the longest time, while she was toing and froing in the valley where the scrotal sac attaches itself to the groin, it seemed like she was conducting an exploratory study of the burst activities and latencies of my cremaster. After that she also did a couple of other things that are for the most part unsayable, not to mention unspeakable, that had the effect of eliciting the other perineal reflex, popularly known as the anal wink, but let’s just leave it at that, shall we?

She had introduced herself as Tuyet, which hired in sectors where they’re required to pro- meant snow white. I don’t know how old she vide ministrations: restaurants, nightclubs, was, but clearly she was born into the new bars, hotels, spas, etc. I choose to affect a su- Vietnam, post Doi Moi, the 1986 market repreme loathing of most stereotypes, particu- forms that made the transition to what was larly this one, but the continuing depilated called a socialist-oriented market economy. grace bit, I’m afraid, is implanted rather deep- She revealed that she was from the provinces, ly in the old cerebellum to eradicate. from the neighbouring Tây Ninh district, from Also, dear reader, you have to understand a family of farmers in crop-related debt. She’d the cultural framings of this piece. Almost ev- been in Saigon for five years. There were probery massage I’ve partaken of has been of the ably suckling infants back home waiting to be head and neck region, administered by the fed, rent to be paid, a mother awaiting surgery. friendly neighbourhood nai (barber) called North Indian ideas about sexuality are comDashrath. I have, wistfully but with open- plex and hyphenated. Ninety minutes with mouthed glee, heard stories of Sandwich Mas- Tuyet in Saigon for two million Vietnamese sages in Siam and the great JapaDong changed what was, for me, nese tradition of the slippery licit and respectable.

Nuru treatment. On a few occaIf I am allowed to stretch a parsions, I have, rather unsuccessallelism, my Vietnamese masNinety minutes with fully, beseeched the spouse for sage was slightly analogous to a Tuyet in Saigon for an oil massage. Well, let’s just say properly desexualised medical two million that we’ve managed to reach a examination. The American soVietnamese Dong modus vivendi where I shall not ciologist James Henslin had once changed what was, broach the subject again and in considered the pelvic examinfor me, licit and return shall not have to worry ation in theatrical terms and respectable about my food being poisoned. asked what the acceptable stagThe only other time I’ve allowed ings were for a woman who must my thorax to be rubbed was in an expose her vagina in a non-sexancient hamam in Istanbul, by a ual manner to a male? ‘The drape large wheezy man in a stubble. That was when sheet is a prop: it hides the pubic area from I was cowering on a warm marble slab in a herself but exposes it to the physician. The pelsmall towel and the rubdown was actually a vic theatre largely occurs between her legs, scrub down with a sandpapery glove, which which serve as wings of the proscenium.’ The was actually like a carpenter’s randha (plane) speculum or the proctoscope is a diagnostic being applied to my skin relentlessly. I could dildo. The physician, even so, must perform swear that thin shavings of the epidermis the examination without profaning it. Ditto were falling off with every heave. It was inten- for the masseuse, except that she can’t use the sely pleasurable the moment it ended. physician’s etiquette of disregard to subliThat being the case, when one can feel the mate the sexuality of the situation. She has to glabrous inner thighs of a Vietnamese God- keep it studiedly asexual while appearing as dess in shorts against one’s flanks while being though she is devoted to the client’s body. given a rubdown with hibiscus oil, with the I know this isn’t a very good analogy. For the ghost of Phuong in the background, one does woman in stirrups, the pelvic examination is a wish for the action to somehow move to the Sadeian narrative. For me, the state of affairs at mezzanine and have what is known as a happy the end of it was so tranquil that I was a gormdenouement. lessly blinking mass of protoplasm.

What was truly admirable was that she asatwik@gmail.com didn’t have to ask permission for touching any

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Hanging by When the rain a silk thread ELSEWHERE

manjula padmanabhan

clouds roll in

The master of writing a series, JK Rowling keeps readers gladly guessing in the second outing for her unlikely detective, Strike

In the forests of Agumbe, even before the monsoon arrived, the air was heavy with the promise of rain and the smell of wild jackfruit

Alexander and I

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A night with the Great Orange Cat and the Destroyer of Badminton Nets

owder puff clouds built up during the the rains will deliver less than their normal lectable flesh whole. This was not the familiar June day, but then wafted away across quantum. Would it make a difference to jackfruit, but a wild cousin. the sky above Agumbe, Karnataka. Agumbe, a place famous for its copious rainInch-long leeches made their way towards When thunder roared late in the af- fall, an average of 7,500mm in a normal year? us, sensing the air occasionally with the narMargaux andlinear Michael are away forinthe ternoon, my head snapped skywards. Had the At dawn, birds began singing even as frogs y friends rower end of their bodies to zero on So I’mI over at them their house once monsoon arrived? The heavens rumbled continued their vocal din. The whistling weekend. their targets. flicked off with onemore, hand, provide food and love to sticky Alexander, Great promises they didn’t keep. Newspapers said thrush’s unhurried, rambling tune harmo- towhile digging into the fruitthe with the the monsoon had set in over Kerala but wasn’t nised with racket-tailed drongos’ brisk, metal- Orange other.Cat. By the time I had a few pieces, Ram had holding his half creamy-white moving north. lic, multi-timbral chatter. He greets me at the doordemolished the fruit, tail and “good see you. Come At night, the forest resounded with a sym- Fairy-bluebirds flashed their la- aloft. “Hello, Visiting Slave,” he hispurrs, hands andtostubble-covered his dinner bowl.

“It is empphony of frog calls. They chirped, belled, pis shoulders as they flitted this way, please?” He goes toward face were smeared in white latex. delicately at its rim before gazcroaked and clicked from the grass, low bush- around fruiting bushes. Crim- ty, you know,” he says, sniffingI’ve been known to hog a whole up night at me with his huge eyes.by Then he walks es, and the canopy. It sounded like a monsoo- son-breasted Malabar trogons ing jackfruit myself, and aI short began The belonged to golden astexcept year, there whenwas Robert Gal- gives them and turns his while scurry nal night, no rain. horrendous bodies kept a low profile on and the forest distance to back see a politely competitor in IRam. I’d the away amphibians braith’sa debut bookstudying was repulsive forto him.

Ramprasad, researcher these traits. the edge. Any The luminary day grew in brighter, re- about, opening a can of dinner have be faster and less decopublished, first it Rainforest sold publishing forgotten ourother last enamphibians at the atAgumbe Re- vealing industryblue who recognises skies, and the I am very grateful that he’s rous.

But Ramabout left the half some 1,500 being locked and out, rose, possibly for search Station (ARRS),copies. pointedThe to puddles himself ornight’s herself illusion in the book of has monsoon counter, with the trauma ofon the ground suggestmurder mystery had an unlikely the whole night. In the evening, shadows in the where newly metamorphosed, dark brown enough reasons to kill Quine. And vanished. ing, as “We’ll leavelengthen the rest for the protagonist, Afghan war veteran old house, beside Ime, holding my hand. He knows I torrent frogsan hopped out.

Small, brightso, green a hundred pages later, when It was the end of the jackfruit season.

Manyhe sits animals.” acquiesced. with prosthetic rightfrogs leg. His sideam worrying believewe in them, of course. maleaMalabar gliding with hibiscus-red Quine is found dead, killed theground, exlay squashed on in the a feast for ani- about Atghosts. the firstI don’t homestead, stopped to clean kick secretary, wasin hopfloorboards and are those softdidn’t footfeet and straddled largeRobin, females mating actemsettingmals as the book’s ending,toallsquirrelsBut from elephants andcurtains rats. A rustle, up and quenchcreak, our thirst.

Our hosts ing to bag an HRofjob in aofcompany steps I hear No,on notthe really.

Ah well.

Time for bed. braces.

A couple pairs gliding frogs had become of them suspects.fruits hung pendulously few remaining fromoverhead? comment obvious signs of our jungle when she came knocking on Strike’s nest balls I say goodnight to Alex.

My room on the ground floor. It already whipped up meringue-like Having tree traversed entire dis-ripe one hung trunks.the A fragrantly low, repast.

Bidding themisfarewell, we returned to door for above temporary work. hascollected glass doors the looking ontostation. the backyard. There’s a badminthat hung a pond.

A treeThen toad plopped tance, from a struggling writer to an Milky sap and Ram pulled it down. research came the the “accidental” reveal. ton net stretched across it. When down on forest floorbig from a height.

The around unparalleled publishing sensation, the broken stalk.

The creator of Strike Robin, the in the cut-throat louds gathered, byoff evening, began I put the and lights and lieitunder night belonged to theand amphibians. book industry, Squatting on the ground, he grasped the author of Cuckoo’s Calling, Robert rainingthe in earnest.

In the quilt, I can see village, the net many flapPre-monsoon showers may have greened Rowling is wellend placed fleshy of the to fruitwrite and pulled it apart. The Galbraith was and nonemade otherfrogs thanamorous, JK about already with tarpaulin in thecovered bright moonlight.

It’s the landscape butit. As a peek into the and world of I popped one in my houses wereping bulbs were small thin.

Yup. There’s a dark Rowling — sheforwho gave us Harry soak. the prevailing wind.There’s Some folnothing, I tell myself. a the soil ached a four-month-long This egos bloated and relentless self-promouth.

It was fibrous, soft and unchewable. I sheets against shape out there, low Potter. the weathermen predicted spatmotion — areca fronds skilfully breeze.

I’m not wearing my woven glassis an ElPredictably, Nino year, and pubout thethat largethe seed and swallowed the de- lowed tradition on the ground book quickly went on es. Relax. Then the door of my lishing business is now to become a bestseller. room bangs open and my heart reduced to, The SilkThe Silkworm is the hits the ceiling. It’s only Alex, of worm is a delight. second in the series of course. He climbs onto the bed, Rowling is undoubtQuine spares no one Rowling writing as curls up at my feet and begins to snore. edly the master of writ— dominant agents, Galbraith. Strike, who No question of sleep now. If I get up to close the door, Alex ing a series. This alcoholic editors and got some publicity for will only scratch on it at once, wanting to leave. But I’d like second book (out of a deviant publishers solving the mystery of him to stay because he keeps the ghosts at bay. While I’m frettotal of seven) builds a murdered superting about my choices I glance up and see that, outside in the on the first. Despite model in Cuckoo’s Callbackyard, the net is now jerking in a completely non-breezy Strike's tendency to ing, has spent the eight way. This time my heart stays put but I stop breathing. I reach close out the world, he months since flush with work, most- is beginning to be understandable. for my glasses and sit up. Yup. There’s a dark shape out there, ly spying on the philandering The chemistry between him and the low on the ground. spouses of London’s billionaires. much-engaged Robin is palpable That’s when Alex lifts his head and looks out. The moment Which is why, when Leonara Quine, and, while the reader is rooting for he does that, I am calm again. He jumps down from the bed, the wife of author Owen Quine, them to just get on with it already, goes to the glass, looks out. I follow him. There in the mooncomes to him after her husband Rowling shows cunning calculation light is a raccoon. A big male, going by size. He has got the goes missing, Strike takes on the as- in bringing them tantalisingly characteristic striped bushy tail, pale body, and bandit-mask signment despite knowing that he close, only to leave them hanging. across the eyes. He totally hates that net! He’s snatching at it was unlikely to be paid for it. with his small, black hand-like paws, he’s jumping up and While the narrative gets clunky at Owen Quine is a bit of an author- times, there is no faulting Rowling’s biting it. It’s strung between two slender poles. As soon as ial loose-cannon. He’s just finished ability to plot. The best way to judge one pole is down, he stops and stalks off. writing ‘Bombyx Mori’ (the scientif- The Silkworm is by assessing whether Up on the roof of the next-door garage, I see a number of ic name of the silkworm) before dis- you would have raced to the finish smaller raccoons. They make soft trilling sounds. “Yay, Dad!” appearing from home. The book, had it been written by Robert Galthey chirp. “Destroyer of Badminton Nets!” I get back into whose manuscript his agent acci- braith, an unknown author. And my bed. Alex purrs beside me. Then I’m asleep. dentally sent to a couple of publish- answer to that is ‘yes’. While I won’t MANJULA PADMANABHAN, author and artist, tells us tales of her parallel ing houses, is a takedown of be queuing outside a bookstore the life in Elsewhere, US, in this fortnightly series marginalien.blogspot.in London’s publishing industry. night before, it’s safe to say I am exQuine has mocked everyone in the citedly looking forward to the third book — publishers, agents, editors, book’s release. and the hordes of hopeful to-bepublished writers and groupies. He veena venugopal

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L The Silkworm A Cormoran Strike novel Robert Galbraith Hachette India Fiction ₹699

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through a wooden frame to form a watertight barrier. But many tardy households were still repairing their roofs, and rains must have been unwelcome.

After dinner, I contemplated going for a walk. But Ajay Giri, the station’s education officer, received an urgent call. A king cobra had gone to sleep under a bed in a village house about 60km away. The decrepit jeep’s headlights and windscreen wiper didn’t work. At least the yellow fog lights did, but it took us two hours to reach the village. Women and children were already tucked indoors, and a crowd of about 30 men, most of them exhaling fumes of alcohol, awaited us.

The men ushered us to a tiny house. Firewood and bales of leaf litter to spread in the barns lay covered in plastic. Cow dung patThis was not the ties to be used as fuel lay in piles. familiar jackfruit, but Inside, pickles cured in large pora wild cousin celain jars, while stacks of dry appalams sat on kitchen shelves.

From the rafters, rotund Madras cucumbers hung from strings.

Young green jackfruit and mangoes, gourds, and bamboo shoots were preserved in salt.

Once the monsoon hit, vegetables would become scarce, and families in this region will live on a diet of fresh edible leaves from the kitchen garden and Madras cucumbers. Appalams, pickles and salted preserves made into chutneys would provide the only variety.

A large king cobra lay in a tight coil under the bed and hissed softly when the torchlight shone on his face. I didn’t want to be in a furniture-crammed house with a soon-to-be-agitated snake and 30 men blocking the door. I

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The spoils (clockwise from top) Wild jackfruit; wild flowers and a male Malabar gliding frog janaki lenin

opted to stay outdoors, while Ajay directed the snake into a gaping jumbo-sized snake bag.

One of the men, a retired policeman, kept me company. He had served in Kosovo on a UN Peacekeeping Mission. He spoke about 10 words of English and my Kannada was worse.

After Ajay bagged the snake, he gave the gathered crowd a talk on the species and the need to release it close by. Freeing it far away would likely sentence it to death, he said, quoting a research study. It was well past midnight before Ajay had answered all their questions. Forest Department officials escorted us to a forest a kilometre away. Ajay opened the bag, and the 11-foot snake disappeared into the darkness.

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ver the following days, the weather followed the same pattern: sunny mornings, cloudy afternoons and rainy evenings.

I asked Kasturiakka, a matriarch who lived in Agumbe’s famous 200-year-old family home, Dodda Mane, the setting for the muchloved television series Malgudi Days, if villagers worshipped for rain. She said, “Yes, at the Rishya Shringeswara temple in Kigga.”

“Do people ever request god to stop the rains?” I asked.

“Of course,” she said. “They worship at the same temple. But the monsoons were heavier 20 years ago.”

I expected the name Agumbe, a place that considers 7,500mm of rainfall normal, to mean ‘where the rains dump their goods’.

Even Rishya Shringeswara, the sage who could summon Indra, the god of rains, presided 35km away. Kasturiakka corrected me, “Agumbe is short for Madagumbapura. It means ‘the place with lots of elephants’.”

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Bucolic charms (clockwise from right) A forest stream at low water; a rain-proofed hut in Agumbe; collectibles from the forest floor janaki lenin

That was surprising. There were no elephants in Agumbe until six years ago, when two bulls from Chikmagalur started making annual visits.

“There was a massive forestry operation in the old days. Lots of captive elephants were used to fell trees and move logs,” said Kasturiakka.

Later, I dropped in to see Vamanna, the local weatherman. He has maintained records from 1962, also the year of the highest rainfall in 52 years: 11,343mm. I struggled to imagine what

over 35 feet of rain could be like. He offered an said a recent arrival at the station. “Monsoon understatement: “The road was blocked.” arrives with a lot of thunder and lightning.”

One afternoon, rains came down with force A veteran countered, “That’s pre-monsoon. and mist wafted down from the sky. In the eve- The monsoon arrives with wind only.” ning, winged termites emerged from the According to the weathermen, it’s officially ground. Some flew upwards on their nuptials, monsoon when it has rained for over 48 hours while most crash-landed nearby, unable to get with a westerly wind speed of 27 to 37kmph. airborne. It was raining too hard for any pred- This is the way the monsoon arrives, not with a ators to home in on this meal. Moments later, I bang but inexorably blown in. grew aware of another kind of water rushing.

That humid night was deafening with A stream that had been dry had sounds of a frog orgy. Their motstarted to gush. To me, swarming tled glistening skins shone termites and rushing stream brightly in torchlight. A dark Mapersonified monsoon. labar pit viper, resembling li“This is not the monsoon,” I struggled to imagine chen, coiled around a stick on the path, waiting to ambush a what over 35 feet of passing frog, even as the rain rain could be like. beat down on it.

He offered an understatement: arly the next morning, I wait“The road was ed for a taxi to the airport. I blocked” wondered if the driver would arrive on time with the rain pelting down and mist reducing visibility. As the watch ticked, I considered my meagre options. The jeep would not get me to the airport in time. It was either the taxi or a missed flight. I stared at the misty blankness. Was this the monsoon finally? A phone call broke my reverie. The driver said a fallen tree obstructed the road.

I woke up Ajay and he drove me the few hundred metres to the tree. The only way to get to the other side was to squeeze through the barbed-wire fence protecting a Forest Department cane and guava plantation, circumvent most of the prone tree crown, crawl back out through the fence, and scramble over a few branches.

I reached the airport just in time, with red earth crusted around my toes, disreputable flip-flops, damp bags and a lingering smell of jackfruit on my hands. The monsoon had well and truly arrived.

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janaki lenin writes on wildlife and conservation. Her last book was My Husband & Other Animals.

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Critical mass There is no activity that does not involve hordes in Mumbai, and the day after the big rain was no exception ritu raj konwar

A monsoon memoir

In the return of the soul-quenching rains, year after year, lies the circle of life

veena venugopal

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verything that I remember about my life seems to have occurred over the din of the rain. In Kerala, where I grew up in a township, the rains, like a paedophilic uncle from Dubai, arrived as both a saviour and a savage, laden with gifts and a threat of dangerous disappointment. After the long days of May, in a seemingly endless summer holiday spent fighting the heat and the humidity that render you lethargic and parched, all you wish for is the first sight of the dark clouds. And then on June 1, without fail it now seems to me, noon would feel like dusk and all at once, the skies would open up.

June 2 was usually the first day of the school year. The new school shoes, black Mary Janes from Bata, bought after much warning that no matter what these have to last the year, and smelled, touched and carefully tried on for a fortnight, would remain in the realm of the longed, for three more months.

We lived in a corner house, where my ‘study desk’ was pushed against a partly curtained window. The street light outside was my rain gauge, in its glow I could see whether the raindrops were the nimble dancers of a drizzle or the weighty pellets of a downpour. When they changed the lamp from tubelight, encased in a black filter of long-dead insects, to a sunshine yellow halogen, my rain gauge took on the aesthetics of a fantasy. It seemed to have, like a picture of Jesus that hung in friends’ homes, a golden halo that stood up to the forces of nature.

The damp and the dank was so pervasive that it formed the very texture of my school years, marked by the spotted pyramid of mud on our calves and the moss on the walls. We didn’t play in the rain, as kids now tend to do, we played and inevitably it was raining. Even our umbrellas were firm and functional; we used them as shields, not toys. Which is why, even though I may have only been 11 or 12 and going home from somewhere, I remember thinking it strange that the man walking towards me was playfully twirling his umbrella in front of him. As he reached me, he swept it aside and I realised his pants were unzipped

and his man-bits were hanging out. Years lat- night, three of us decided there was nothing er, I read Katherine Hepburn’s memoir, Me, in else to do but walk. There is no activity that which she described the first time someone does not involve hordes in Mumbai, and the flashed her. “What did you do?” a friend asks day after the big rain was no exception. In secHepburn. “I looked,” she replies. And even as onds, we lost one another and, alone and my mind was conjuring up images of Los An- afraid, I waded through muddy water, climbgeles or wherever it was that Hepburn was liv- ing endless flyovers and walking past stalled ing, I stopped with a gasp, because I could still cars and their exhausted drivers well after it hear that umbrella being whipped away in the turned dark. Every few steps I’d clasp my stomtownship that drizzly day, and truth be told, I ach and tell the seven-month-old foetus in it to too had looked. hang on, we’d get through this together.

It was only when I went to college in Chen- Hours later, I stumbled home, where the banai that I began to understand a little of the ro- by’s father and I clutched each other and wept. mantic allure of the rain. One Diwali week, It was, I am now certain, the last time we let when most students had gone home leaving our vulnerabilities trump our egos. behind only a dozen or so of us, the rain came A few days later, in a city that was now terridown with such force that trees that seemed fied of rain, I found myself once again in a to have been living from the start of time were stalled train, watching the water devour the uprooted. Electricity cables snapped, the road tracks. People jumped off and hurried home. between Ethiraj College, where I studied, and Except one old lady, who went to the slum Rani Meyyammai Hostel, where I nearby and rustled together lived, was a flowing brown ribthree drenched young men and bon. It must have been past mida rickety iron chair and brought night when we heard a noise them back to the coach to help The damp and the and looked out of the window. the pregnant girl down. I knew dank was so pervasive Standing on the road, knee-deep then that when people ask me that it formed the in water from the over-run where I’m from, the only honest very texture of my Cooum, the rain plastering his answer is Mumbai; it’s where I school years hair on his forehead, my boyleft a piece of my heart. friend was waving out to me. The The rain in Delhi, like much following morning, I called him, else in the city, is a cacophony of feeling the first stirrings of adult ostentatious sound and light, love — a mixture of coy gratitude and mater- with very little substance. But sometimes, nal reproach — and asked him about this noc- when the thunder snuffles and the lightning turnal desperation. Alas, he was too stoned or is a weak flash in the distance, my eight-yeartoo drunk and had no recollection of it. old girl and I go to the balcony and gaze at the A decade later, I was the one standing in sight of water falling on itself. I hold my head knee-deep water in what started as just anoth- straight but from the corner of my eye, I can er July day in Mumbai. I was a reporter then, see her standing strangely still and unusually writing on stock markets and mutual funds quiet, chin resting on the railing, while the for this paper. By 5pm, the rain was so relent- rain etches the lines on which she will draw less that it was evident no one would be able to her memories. She may not speak of it thus, go home. We stayed that night in office, nod- but even she knows that only a fool would deding off at our desks, some of us sleeping in scribe it as a cycle of evaporation and condenthe bureau chief’s quarters upstairs. The next sation, when the irrefutable truth is that, it is evening, when the rain seemed to have let up, the circle of life. we set off for the suburbs. Halfway through, caught in traffic that was gridlocked over- veena venugopal

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Intensive Kher

certainty, are not easy to spot. “For me, even this much is a crew cut,” he insists.

This year, Kher completes three decades in the film industry, with appearances in 480 films. In his next release, Yash Raj Film’s Daawat-e-Ishq, he stars alongside young guns Parineeti Chopra and Aditya Roy Kapur. Earlier this year, he was seen in Main Tera Hero starring Varun Dhawan and Nargis Fakhri. But the 59-year-old doesn’t like being pegged as a veteran among fresh blood. Instead, he sees himself as an equal. “This generation has a his PR team. Staring at his shiny, bald pate in tendency to make you feel like a has-been. It’s amazement, I quietly ask, “But, sir, what is left not out of disrespect, but why would they reto trim?” As soon as the words leave my member something I did in the ’80s? So I want mouth, I fear I have breached the line with a to beat them at that. My competition is with senior actor. Flashing a youthful smile, he Aditya Roy Kapur,” he says. points to a few stray hair which, I can say with In his talk show The Anupam Kher Show — Kucch Bhi Ho Sakta Hai on Colors, the actor chats up heavyweights such as Shah Rukh Khan, Mahesh Bhatt, Yuvraj Singh and Kangna Ranaut, among others. Even though he is interviewing former colleagues and friends, says each ofthe their livesseason, has come a reveducks.

During rainy theasDeepor me that we would be leaving the house in Kher to him.

“When I was trying to be an We acwhich we have lived for almost two decades. I lation Beel would swell and reach our doorsteps. tor infelt the city, I used to readit made a lot our of am not sure how I feel about that. never threatened by it. Rather, andmore the memorable. first half used to be Before high school, I spent my childhood in biographies, summer breaks Instead of the struggle of the person.

I have met completing our summer vacation projects, another part of Guwahati, in Jalukbari, near about people only in a go work-oriented the Gauhati University Campus. Today it is ve- these my brother and I would to the nearbysituamarI wanted know them people. for Theya ry much a part of Guwahati’s urban land- tion. ket, buy sometofishing hooks,asarrange me and spoke meall very he scape, but back then it was a neglected area trusted long bamboo pole andto fish day.candidly,” At night, we believes own chequered past wouldKher listen to the his rhythmic sound of rains sprawled on both sides of the National High- says. him with his subjects. In fact, dancing onidentify our tin roofs. way 31. We lived in a newly formed colony helps even we written a play, Kucch Bhi Ho Sakta called Pragjyotishnogor. I didn’t know that the he’s Mostly caught catfish.

Some of them HainOnce, (Anything possible), on land for the colony was claimed from the Dee- were poisonous. one of isthem stung my journey to showbiz.

“When por Beel — a perennial freshwater lake, which father when his he tried to hold it. Within min-I was in drama school, I’d write my was formerly a channel of the Brahmaputra utes, his hand turned bluish and his face rudname onif benches. hoped that river. I didn’t know that most of Jalukbari was dy. We were not sure we shouldI take him to many years later, people will will see created by seizing land from the Deepor Beel the hospital because he said that the pain Why would they anditthink, ‘Anupam to Kher once and built on the graveyards of millions of fish- something go away and itthat had happened him beremember he says. es, snakes, dauk birds, crocodiles and wild After all,sat hehere’,” is the village-bred guy and we I did in thefore. ’80s?

Interestingly, Kher’s debut role was meant to be that of a crazy ‘disco killer’ in the cult classic Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron. He even shot for the film, but his character was done away with in the final edit. “I wanted to kill the director (Kundan Shah). It was a great role. I remember I met him outside Prithvi Theatre and he casually told me, ‘Arre, tera role kaatna para’ (I had to remove your character). I was tempted to take a brick and run after him,” he laughs. Soon after, he landed the lead role in Mahesh Bhatt’s award-winning film Saaransh (1984). This, too, he nearly lost to Sanjeev Kumar. But the angst and bitterness he felt during that phase was put to good use. Kher was only 28 when he delivered his convincing portrayal of a retired man coping with the loss of his son. “I was mad and obsessed. I got the part with great difficulty and was thrown out 10 days before the shoot for Sanjeev Kumar.

When we started filming, I didn’t know what it felt like to have a son. All I told myself was, ‘Agar yeh film nahi chali, main barbaad ho jaaunga’ (If this film fails, I’ll be doomed). That thought brought tears to my eyes, and I put that angst into the story,” he explains.

After this rocky start, Kher has consistently delivered unforgettable performances in films such as Daddy, Maine Gandhi ko Nahi Maara, Bend it Like Beckham and Khosla ka Ghosla, to name a few. He’s also directed a film, opened an acting school, written a book and done over a hundred plays. Most recently, he made a short film, I Went Shopping for Robert De Niro, in all of nine days. With his TV show, he hopes to keep adding to his impressive repertoire.

So what keeps him going? “It has to be life. I find it very fascinating. My work gives me maximum gratification. That’s what keeps me young and active,” he says, before sprinting off for that pending trim and shave.

Actor, director, author, film school founder and now talkshow host. Anupam Kher firmly declines the veteran tag and asserts his real competition are the younger stars head of a press conference to promote his new TV show, veteran actor Anupam Kher arrives at a five-star suburban hotel in a cool checked shirt and jeans. “I need to have a shave and trim my hair before the event,” he instructs

The downpour that once made our summer vacations memorable is today the season of terror, of trapped water breaking down a city

I

t is June 2014. I am in Guwahati and am browsing through the old bookcase in my room. I pause when I see the familiar blue file. It is so bulky, it stands apart among the old notebooks and thinner files containing my report cards, letters, and greeting cards from the ’90s. As I browse through the file, I sit on the cold floor of my house and read the stories I wrote during high school. I am surprised by how much I wrote about rains in Guwahati, about rains in our ancestral village Teteliguri and about rains falling loudly on the gabled tin-roof houses that we call ‘Assam Type House’. I am in what I call our ‘Chandmari House’, in the woody All India Radio Campus, where I have spent most of my adolescence. I am sorting through my old books and files because my father has just told

Troubled waters When it rains, it is fishing time for many Assamese, like this young boy in Morigaon district ritu raj konwar

CH-X _ A

Face to face In his talk show, Anupam Kher gets Bollywood heavyweights to open up about their trials and tribulations on the road to stardom

Q R

mohini chaudhuri

BL

cover read

saturday, july 12, 2014

Joyride Passengers hitch a ride on a bus painted with the face of Argentinean soccer player Lionel Messi in Port-au-Prince.

Popularly called TapTap, these buses are often painted with faces of football players afp/hector retamal

Head above water (clockwise from above) Students use a pathway of benches to enter their flooded college in Guwahati pti; fishing in the middle of the National Highway 31 in Kamrup ritu raj konwar; and the journey home on a waterlogged street pti

are the city-bred ones. But the pain stayed on for hours and he started to feel weak. Outside, it was raining hard. My mother went outside, found the leaves of dronpushpa — a weed — and fed him a few teaspoonfuls of its juice. She took out a tumbler, poured hot water into it, added a fistful of salt and asked him to immerse his hand in it as the dronpushpa juice took effect. When he felt better, my mother started ‘playing’ what we called her Old Cassette, “What is wrong with you guys? If you want to eat fish, go get it from the market. I will break the leg of anyone I see near the beel from tomorrow onwards.” That, of course, didn’t change. Our summer vacation meant rains, and rains meant a swollen Deepor Beel that reached our doorsteps. The fun began soon after. We were convinced that our mother would never understand the joy of fishing.

But we were also2010, a bit an scared.

What if of a snake n January earthquake cata- gions, there is no formally recognised nation- brutal regime, is recognised by 22 of the 27 had bitten ourmagnitude father? Thatstruck night, the sound of State to speak of, yet there is a national foot- countries within the European Union. But, strophic 25km to the rainswest on our tin roof was loud, threatening of Port-au-Prince, the capital city of ball team. Palestine, as Montague tells us, may with Russia, an ally of Serbia, holding veto and impatient. made me cold.

Haiti. The It disaster leftfeel both the city and not be recognised by the United Nations, but power in the United Nations Security Council, Often, our parents wanted some Indemuch of when the country in rubble.

According to it has been a member of FIFA since 1998. it continues to remain outside the UN. As a rependence Domestic Peace, they sent to estimates,and more than 3 lakh people diedusdue Until recently, the Palestinian national sult, Montague tells us, Kosovo is ineligible for Barisha Having saidwith that, the rainy season or our grandparents’ in Teteliguri to resilive team to the tremors, andhouse as many as 2.5 lakh There no in Deepor in Chandmari, wasisstuck a stateBeel of strife.

Divided be- membership UEFA, European football’s the namebody, of the latest terrorist outfitasin37the with ourand grandmother, strict uncles and aunts where dences 30,000 commercial buildings have lived almost dec- is tween we Gaza and thenow WestforBank, thetwo Palestigoverning even though as many of I grew upaccept in. LastKosovo month,asdue to the rains, I who roamed with creased werealways flattened.

But aaround few months later, inforeSep- ades; hereprevented I am, reading the stories niansand were from gettingI wrote their city its members a nation-State. stranded the middle of the heads, cousins who were our comtemberand 2011,first with the country’s people still more a decadecountries ago. There so much playersthan to foreign by isIsrael and remained On September 11 in Zurich, Vokrri androad Salia city bus.

The traffic had come a rades-in-arms in doing everything we about steeped in poverty, and with most of that its critithese storiesbe and essays. There is inside Egypt.rain This in time, it would different.

“For the hu’s tasks were two-fold.

One, to meet the to FIFA to waterlogging. standing were not supposedstill to do. was Independence cal infrastructure in It ruins, Haiti’s nation- apast datethree written on the firstMontague, pages of these sto- standstill years,” writes “football president due Blatter and convince After him of the infor oneof hour, once the rains subDay for us too,named becauseafter no oneSylvio in thatCator, L-shaped al stadium, its ries: the date ofhas submission and the name of inside the busjustice in Palestine undergone keeping Kosovo outwalking towards home. After house made of bamboo mud, with gabled greatest sportsman, wasand being primed for ac- the magazine I submitted something of where a revolution and it. I had sta- sided I started side the fold of international city soAnd well.two, It was late-night. tin roofs, the timeatoWorld police us.

Occasionaltion.

Thehad occasion: Cup qualifier pled or pinned the rejectionvehiletters on the first all, I know this has been used as a political football. to have Kosofrom Chandmari, had to ly, one ofthe ourUS angry aunts would findwould out that against Virgin Islands.

This be page each story. Looking at them, I long for About a kilometre cle byofthe Palestinian Authority var players playing for ISwitzerstop. In the dim I saw people we did first something and teach us a les- my Haiti’s footballoffensive match since the tragedy. handwriting, which isPalestinot neat anymore, to promote a recognised landlight, and Albania sign a crossing petition A national football water. It sonFor bymany locking house.

But that of us us, inside FIFA’s the football World Cup and days when I used to team write becomes in the road nianthink entityabout abroad.”

The football pledging support forwas thedark. recog-I the in chest-deep waited for another decided to house had many doors and many windows constitutes a month-long fiesta, which comes longhand, andnot make copiesreprebefore sending team would merely nition20 of minutes a Kosovoand national team. nationoff personified, risk walking through the waist-deep dirty wawithout railings. escaped along once everyWe four years. easily.

But, as many as the sentsubmission. the territory by playing the Of the 22 players who would rubbing up alongside because itstar wasfor getting so late.

As I crossed The happiest daysstake werea place the ones when it sport, 203 national teams for the final Our ‘Chandmari House’ an apartment.

Af- andter but would serve to iscarve the two teams, at least enemies friends thought middle a rained.

The up village road was extravagan- its national identity.

32 that make the quadrennial ter moving here, the rains were the stretch, I nine wereI was bornininthe Kosovo or of had about parents. the womanIdentifying who was dusty. dream-like rain za. ForThe countries such as would Haiti, which begin the for same.

Palestine’s never campaign qual-I missed the river. I thought Kosovar while crossing street inAlbaGuinvade the tovillage their quest qualifyby forpushing the event some three ification would sound dancing on tin electrocuted themselves endofinrains failure. as the ethnically ago and about the woman who aside the thick ofkick summer years before the veil Finals off, the World Cup They would defeat roofs. Sometimes, Afghanistanrain would fall wahati a yearnian, many Kosovars prefer playaway by the current she dust.

As ifa the rainsopportunity: were deter- a respite presents unique to of onbut thewould tin sheet to build our was over two legs, beused ousted

by Thaiing swept for Albania, including the after country’s Thousands villages opening on theothers, footpath. mined to teach thetheir naughty, unthe Haitians from daily struggles. a little away fromatour land. Yet, thatgarage they played two matches Al- stepped captain, into LorikanCana.

But some of the 3 have disappeared Lastwho week, a night of heavy Guruly dust a good lesson forwhich beingoccupy It is stories such as this centre house. I would my atten- lakh Ramm underpay theallPalestinian fledafter to Switzerland duringrains, the decfrom Assam’s atlasin Jerusalem, was flooded grabbed It fickle, clothes, for stage for in soiling James our Montague’s splendid tionThe to FIFA thatpresident sound, but flag, is a miracle.

Sepprains Blat- wahati ade-long conflict inand Kosovo, haveheadlines. sworn alleduenew to soil erosion not to thethe Brahmaputra invading the This city, sitting on the brightbook, Thirty Onebeautiful, Nil. Through a series of crisp ter’s decisionwere the same anymore be- was to not recognise Palestine, Mongiance Swiss national team. only the trapped water, havoc red hibiscus flowers andus making essays, Montague tells the tale of dreams tague says, “will cause arguably here, though there were but be the greatest included country’s star creating player Xherdan About a dozen writes, people was died.booed WhilebyI them dull.and We would run being to beinglook crushed, favourites upended. legacy of his career.” earthworms we couldn’t fish; around.

Shaqiri who, Montague watchinginthe inwho Delhi, I rememour houses with the where Haiti, He takes us then, from along Port-au-Prince, were where, defeated Montague though also takesthere us to Zurich in was the Albanians thenews crowd, consider him driving past the vast newboots colonies cows, and goats and watch the rain courtyards in frontdogs, of a crowd that included its president puddles and Switzerland eddies, we bered the midst ofand a qualifier between a traitor.

But imprinted on his werethat the mushroomed after flags: seizing areas from quickly form puddles, eddies on courMichel Joseph Martelly, defeated theour Virgin Is- couldn’t listen to the music dance of were rain. have and Albania, Fadil Vokrri andand Eroll Salihu colours of three national Albania, Switonce used to be the Deepor Beel. But I altyard. would erode itsheat, chestto mercilessly, leav- Here, lands It 6-0 in 45-degree the West Bank I remember taking walks after the rains hatching their own political plot.

Vokrri and what zerland and Kosovo. thought about things — theto hundreds ing well-mopped battered and andthe Jordan, to Rwandacourtyard in Africa and Samoa in in summer.

Now, years later,from when think so It Salihu are both ex-footballers theIformer is stories suchother as this that serve coalesce thousands villages that worthy have disapbruised like and a defeated soldier.

After theWorld rains, about the Pacific, beyond.

The football rains Today, in Chandmari our beautiful Yugoslavia. they are in respectively the and Montague’s workofinto one well of a fromOne Assam’s atlas due to soil erosion long, darktoearthworms crawled on ever the campus Cup isfat, as close a global event as we will with thick growth ofFootball trees, I think of peared president andasecretary of the Federaread. Thirty Nil is written elegantly, with a the last 60 years,ofabout the rottingofbody of ground would them in tranyam the get; the and bookwe shows us collect how the game rains. sparkling red krishtionaftermath of Kosovo.ofOn MayThe 6, 2008, months after in sound knowledge the geopolitics the 25 separatedfrom fromSerbia, the trees, the the man who couldn’t behas buried for to, several leaves coconut to use as fishing bait nachura scendsand culture andshells politics, while simultanedeclaringflowers independence backed countries that Montague travelled and, yellow laburnum thatapplied forms days because all land in that in the Tamulidobha river the — a tributary the thick, ously imprinting upon world itsofown

by France, thecarpet US andofthe UK, Kosovo ultimately, it shows uswas notunder merelywater why we love road overnight after rains pink upper Assam village. wondered if I had the Brahmaputra. moral order. When our aunts found out, on for the membership with the FIFA. Butor itsthe applicafootball, but also howIthe game often mirrors that embrace the on emerald green right to romanticise rains at all. they would pat their headswrites with cold water radhachuras “International football,” Montague, tion was rejected, purportedly the grounds life itself. playground where everyone from the pots and lament, “Will someone “means something…

A national football team of thatthe it was not an independent State in in the kashyap is the authorisofa lawyer The House With a erected a large screen to watch aruni suhrith parthasarathy and writer please go get before they are rubbing swept away becomes the them nation personified, up township eyes of thehad international community.

World Cup Cricket 2011.

Stories and teaches at the Ashoka University from Chennai by the river?” alongside enemies and friends.” In some re- theKosovo, ravaged byofSlobodan Miloševic’s Thousand

Football and the State

A book that shows us how the beautiful game transcends culture and politics, and imprints upon the world its own moral order

I

Thirty one Nil On the road with football’s outsiders: a World Cup Odyssey James Montague Bloomsbury Non-fiction ₹499

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Grey matters Kerala shares its most idyllic stories, its best-kept secrets, with the mazha kalam (rainy season)

The promenade The sea at Fort Kochi enthralls its umbrellabearing spectators

Stairway to heaven A lone man climbs the steps at a laterite quarry in Kasaragod district

I

f a Malayali writes an autobiography, at least one chapter is sure to dwell on the monsoons. The stormy rains in June and July are part of the fabric of life in Kerala. One might begin their tale with the flash floods of ’58, while another may talk of the rains turning the courtyard in an ancestral home glassy and grey.

For me, it’s the memory of the heat of many months that dissipates in a second when the first few drops timidly hit the ground.

Growing up in the village of Madikai in Kasaragod district of Kerala, my annual school holidays were all about the scent of overripe paranki maanga (cashew apples), which I had to pick from the family orchards every day. Summer days were also about walking to the temple grounds in the neighbouring villages to watch theyyam, sitting idle under thatched sheds at noon, waiting for heavy, yellow mangoes to drop from the trees, and playing football for hours on end on the paddy fields, now barren after the harvest.

But memories of summer evaporate as soon as the monsoon rages in, with the scent of the wet mud overpowering all other senses. With the days of my youth, the carefree summer vacations, long gone, it is the first rain that brings back a flood of memories from Madikai. thulasi kakkat

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saturday, july 12, 2014

Homeward bound A man scurries home in the pouring rain at Kumbalanghi village, near Kochi

Holy water Pilgrims perform pradakshinam (circumambulation) at the Thirunelli temple in Wayanad district

Bicycle diaries Rains don’t deter cyclists on their way to work in Kochi

Rain dance A young girl plays in the rain in the lush Kasaragod district

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saturday, july 12, 2014

Romancing the rains A

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Intensive Kher

certainty, are not easy to spot. “For me, even this much is a crew cut,” he insists.

This year, Kher completes three decades in the film industry, with appearances in 480 films. In his next release, Yash Raj Film’s Daawat-e-Ishq, he stars alongside young guns Parineeti Chopra and Aditya Roy Kapur. Earlier this year, he was seen in Main Tera Hero starring Varun Dhawan and Nargis Fakhri. But the 59-year-old doesn’t like being pegged as a veteran among fresh blood. Instead, he sees himself as an equal. “This generation has a his PR team. Staring at his shiny, bald pate in tendency to make you feel like a has-been. It’s amazement, I quietly ask, “But, sir, what is left not out of disrespect, but why would they reto trim?” As soon as the words leave my member something I did in the ’80s? So I want mouth, I fear I have breached the line with a to beat them at that. My competition is with senior actor. Flashing a youthful smile, he Aditya Roy Kapur,” he says. points to a few stray hair which, I can say with In his talk show The Anupam Kher Show — Kucch Bhi Ho Sakta Hai on Colors, the actor chats up heavyweights such as Shah Rukh Khan, Mahesh Bhatt, Yuvraj Singh and Kangna Ranaut, among others. Even though he is interviewing former colleagues and friends, says each ofthe their livesseason, has come a reveducks.

During rainy theasDeepor me that we would be leaving the house in Kher to him.

“When I was trying to be an We acwhich we have lived for almost two decades. I lation Beel would swell and reach our doorsteps. tor the city, I used to readit made a lotour of am not sure how I feel about that. neverinfelt threatened by it. Rather, andmore the memorable. first half used to be Before high school, I spent my childhood in biographies, summer breaks Instead of the struggle of the person. met completing our summer vacationI have projects, another part of Guwahati, in Jalukbari, near about people only in a go work-oriented the Gauhati University Campus. Today it is ve- these my brother and I would to the nearbysituamarI wanted know hooks, them asarrange people. for Theya ry much a part of Guwahati’s urban land- tion. ket, buy sometofishing me and spoke meallvery he scape, but back then it was a neglected area trusted long bamboo pole andto fish day.candidly,” At night, we believes own chequered past wouldKher listen to the his rhythmic sound of rains sprawled on both sides of the National High- says. him with his subjects. In fact, dancing onidentify our tin roofs. way 31. We lived in a newly formed colony helps even we written a play, Kucch Bhi Ho Sakta called Pragjyotishnogor. I didn’t know that the he’s Mostly caught catfish.

Some of them HainOnce, (Anything possible), on land for the colony was claimed from the Dee- were poisonous. one of is them stung my journey to showbiz.

“When por Beel — a perennial freshwater lake, which father when his he tried to hold it. Within min-I in drama school, I’d write my was formerly a channel of the Brahmaputra utes, his handwas turned bluish and his face rudname hoped that river. I didn’t know that most of Jalukbari was dy. We were not sureonif benches. we shouldI take him to many years later, people willwill see created by seizing land from the Deepor Beel the hospital because he said that the pain Why would they anditthink, ‘Anupam to Kher once and built on the graveyards of millions of fish- something go away and it that had happened him beremember he says. es, snakes, dauk birds, crocodiles and wild After all,sat he here’,” is the village-bred guy and we I did in thefore. ’80s?

Interestingly, Kher’s debut role was meant to be that of a crazy ‘disco killer’ in the cult classic Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron. He even shot for the film, but his character was done away with in the final edit. “I wanted to kill the director (Kundan Shah). It was a great role. I remember I met him outside Prithvi Theatre and he casually told me, ‘Arre, tera role kaatna para’ (I had to remove your character). I was tempted to take a brick and run after him,” he laughs. Soon after, he landed the lead role in Mahesh Bhatt’s award-winning film Saaransh (1984). This, too, he nearly lost to Sanjeev Kumar. But the angst and bitterness he felt during that phase was put to good use. Kher was only 28 when he delivered his convincing portrayal of a retired man coping with the loss of his son. “I was mad and obsessed. I got the part with great difficulty and was thrown out 10 days before the shoot for Sanjeev Kumar.

When we started filming, I didn’t know what it felt like to have a son. All I told myself was, ‘Agar yeh film nahi chali, main barbaad ho jaaunga’ (If this film fails, I’ll be doomed). That thought brought tears to my eyes, and I put that angst into the story,” he explains.

After this rocky start, Kher has consistently delivered unforgettable performances in films such as Daddy, Maine Gandhi ko Nahi Maara, Bend it Like Beckham and Khosla ka Ghosla, to name a few. He’s also directed a film, opened an acting school, written a book and done over a hundred plays. Most recently, he made a short film, I Went Shopping for Robert De Niro, in all of nine days. With his TV show, he hopes to keep adding to his impressive repertoire.

So what keeps him going? “It has to be life. I find it very fascinating. My work gives me maximum gratification. That’s what keeps me young and active,” he says, before sprinting off for that pending trim and shave.

Actor, director, author, film school founder and now talkshow host. Anupam Kher firmly declines the veteran tag and asserts his real competition are the younger stars head of a press conference to promote his new TV show, veteran actor Anupam Kher arrives at a five-star suburban hotel in a cool checked shirt and jeans. “I need to have a shave and trim my hair before the event,” he instructs

The downpour that once made our summer vacations memorable is today the season of terror, of trapped water breaking down a city

I

t is June 2014. I am in Guwahati and am browsing through the old bookcase in my room. I pause when I see the familiar blue file. It is so bulky, it stands apart among the old notebooks and thinner files containing my report cards, letters, and greeting cards from the ’90s. As I browse through the file, I sit on the cold floor of my house and read the stories I wrote during high school. I am surprised by how much I wrote about rains in Guwahati, about rains in our ancestral village Teteliguri and about rains falling loudly on the gabled tin-roof houses that we call ‘Assam Type House’. I am in what I call our ‘Chandmari House’, in the woody All India Radio Campus, where I have spent most of my adolescence. I am sorting through my old books and files because my father has just told

Troubled waters When it rains, it is fishing time for many Assamese, like this young boy in Morigaon district ritu raj konwar

CH-X _ A

Face to face In his talk show, Anupam Kher gets Bollywood heavyweights to open up about their trials and tribulations on the road to stardom

Q R

mohini chaudhuri

BL

cover read

saturday, july 12, 2014

Joyride Passengers hitch a ride on a bus painted with the face of Argentinean soccer player Lionel Messi in Port-au-Prince.

Popularly called TapTap, these buses are often painted with faces of football players afp/hector retamal

Head above water (clockwise from above) Students use a pathway of benches to enter their flooded college in Guwahati pti; fishing in the middle of the National Highway 31 in Kamrup ritu raj konwar; and the journey home on a waterlogged street pti

are the city-bred ones. But the pain stayed on for hours and he started to feel weak. Outside, it was raining hard. My mother went outside, found the leaves of dronpushpa — a weed — and fed him a few teaspoonfuls of its juice. She took out a tumbler, poured hot water into it, added a fistful of salt and asked him to immerse his hand in it as the dronpushpa juice took effect. When he felt better, my mother started ‘playing’ what we called her Old Cassette, “What is wrong with you guys? If you want to eat fish, go get it from the market. I will break the leg of anyone I see near the beel from tomorrow onwards.” That, of course, didn’t change. Our summer vacation meant rains, and rains meant a swollen Deepor Beel that reached our doorsteps. The fun began soon after. We were convinced that our mother would never understand the joy of fishing.

But we were also2010, a bitan scared.

What if of a snake n January earthquake cata- gions, there is no formally recognised nation- brutal regime, is recognised by 22 of the 27 had bitten ourmagnitude father? Thatstruck night, 25km the sound of State to speak of, yet there is a national foot- countries within the European Union. But, strophic to the rainswest on our tin roof was loud, threatening of Port-au-Prince, the capital city of ball team. Palestine, as Montague tells us, may with Russia, an ally of Serbia, holding veto and impatient. made me cold.

Haiti. The It disaster leftfeel both the city and not be recognised by the United Nations, but power in the United Nations Security Council, Often, our parents wanted some Indemuch of when the country in rubble.

According to it has been a member of FIFA since 1998. it continues to remain outside the UN. As a rependence Domestic Peace, they sent to estimates, and more than 3 lakh people diedus due Until recently, the Palestinian national sult, Montague tells us, Kosovo is ineligible for Barisha Having saidwith that, the rainy season or our grandparents’ in Teteliguri to resilive team to the tremors, andhouse as many as 2.5 lakh There no in Deepor in Chandmari, wasisstuck a stateBeel of strife.

Divided be- membership UEFA, European football’s the namebody, of the latest terrorist outfitasin37the with ourand grandmother, strict uncles and aunts where dences 30,000 commercial buildings have almost dec- is tween we Gaza andlived thenow Westfor Bank, thetwo Palestigoverning even though as many of I grew upaccept in. LastKosovo month,asdue to the rains, I who roamed with creased werealways flattened.

But aaround few months later, inforeSep- ades; hereprevented I am, reading the stories niansand were from gettingI wrote their city its members a nation-State. stranded in Zurich, the middle of and the road heads, cousins who were our comtemberand 2011,first with the country’s people still more a decadecountries ago. There so much playersthan to foreign by isIsrael and remained On September 11 in Vokrri Salia city bus.

The traffic had come to a rades-in-arms in doing everything we about steeped in poverty, and with most of that its critithese storiesbe and essays. “For There is inside Egypt. rain This in time, it would different. the hu’s tasks were two-fold.

One, to meet the FIFA to waterlogging. standing were not supposedstill to do.

It was Independence cal infrastructure in ruins, Haiti’s nation- apast date written on the firstMontague, pages of these sto- standstill three years,” writes “football president due Blatter and convince After him of the infor oneofhour, once the rains subDay for us too,named becauseafter no oneSylvio in thatCator, L-shaped al stadium, its ries: the date ofhas submission and the name of inside the busjustice in Palestine undergone keeping Kosovo outwalking towards home. After house made of bamboo mud, with gabled greatest sportsman, wasand being primed for ac- the magazine I submitted something of where a revolution and it. I had sta- sided I started side the fold of international city soAnd well.two, It was late-night. tin roofs, the timeatoWorld police us.

Occasionaltion.

Thehad occasion: Cup qualifier pled or pinned the rejectionvehiletters on the first all, I know this has been used as a political football. to have Kosofrom Chandmari, had to ly, one ofthe ourUS angry aunts would findwould out that against Virgin Islands.

This be page each story. Looking at them, I long for About a kilometre cle byofthe Palestinian Authority var players playing for ISwitzerstop. In the dim I saw people we did first something and teach us a les- my Haiti’s footballoffensive match since the tragedy. handwriting, which isPalestinot neat anymore, to promote a recognised landlight, and Albania sign a crossing petition A national football chest-deepsupport water. for It was son bymany locking house.

But that For of us us, inside FIFA’s the football World Cup and days when I used to team write becomes in the road nianthink entityabout abroad.”

The football the dark. recog-I the in pledging waited for another decided to house had amany doors and many windows constitutes month-long fiesta, which comes longhand, andnot make copiesreprebefore sending team would merely nition20 of minutes a Kosovo and national team. nationoff personified, risk walking through the waist-deep dirty wawithout railings. escaped along once everyWe four years. easily.

But, as many as the sentsubmission. the territory by playing the Of the 22 players who would rubbing up alongside because itstar wasfor getting so late.

As I crossed The happiest daysstake werea place the ones when it sport, 203 national teams for the final Our but ‘Chandmari House’ an apartment.

Af-andter would serve to iscarve the two teams, at least enemies friends thought middle of a rained.

The up village road was extravagan- its national identity.

32 that make the quadrennial ter moving here, the rains were the stretch, I nine wereI was bornininthe Kosovo or had about parents. the womanIdentifying who was dusty. dream-like rain za. ForThe countries such as would Haiti, which begin the for same.

Palestine’s never campaign qual-I missed the river. I thought Kosovar while crossing street inAlbaGuinvade thetovillage their quest qualifyby forpushing the event some three ification would sound dancing on tin electrocuted themselves endofinrains failure. as the ethnically ago and about the woman who aside the thick veil ofkick summer years before the Finals off, the World Cup They would defeat roofs. Sometimes, Afghanistanrain would fall wahati a yearnian, many Kosovars prefer playswept away by the current she dust.

As ifa the rainsopportunity: were deter- a respite presents unique to of thewould tin sheet to build our was over two legs,onbut beused ousted

by Thaiing for Albania, including the after country’s Thousands villages opening on theothers, footpath. mined to teach thetheir naughty, unthe Haitians from daily struggles. a little away fromatour land. Yet, thatgarage they played two matches Al- stepped captain, into Lorikan Cana.

But some of the 3 have disappeared Last week, a night of heavy Guruly dust a good lesson for beingoccupy It is stories such as this which centre house. I would my atten- lakh Ramm underpay theallPalestinian who fledafter to Switzerland duringrains, the decfrom Assam’s atlasin Jerusalem, was flooded grabbed It fickle, clothes, for stage for in soiling James our Montague’s splendid tionThe to FIFA thatpresident sound, but is a miracle.

Sepprains Blat- wahati ade-long conflict inand Kosovo, haveheadlines. sworn alleduenew to soil flag, erosion not to thethe Brahmaputra invading the This city, sitting on the brightbook, Thirty Onebeautiful, Nil. Through a series of crisp ter’s decisionwere not the same anymore be- was to recognise Palestine, Mongiance Swiss national team. only the trapped water, havoc red hibiscus flowers andusmaking essays, Montague tells the tale of dreams tague says, “will cause arguably here, though there were but be the greatest included country’s star creating player Xherdan About a dozen writes, people was died.booed WhilebyI them dull.and We would runbeing to being look crushed, favourites upended. legacy of his career.” earthworms we couldn’t fish; around.

Shaqiri who, Montague watchinginthe inwho Delhi, I rememour houses with the where Haiti, He takes us then, from along Port-au-Prince, were where, defeated Montague though also takesthere us to Zurich in was the Albanians thenews crowd, consider him driving past the vast newboots colonies cows, and goats and watch the rain courtyards in frontdogs, of a crowd that included its president puddles and Switzerland eddies, we bered the midst of and a qualifier between a traitor.

But imprinted on his werethat the mushroomed after flags: seizing areas from quickly form Martelly, puddles, defeated eddies on courMichel Joseph theour Virgin Is- couldn’t listen to the music dance of were rain. have and Albania, Fadil Vokrri andand Eroll Salihu colours of three national Albania, Switonce to be the Deepor Beel. But I altyard.

It would erode itsheat, chestto mercilessly, leav- Here, lands 6-0 in 45-degree the West Bank I remember taking walks after the rains hatching their own political plot.

Vokrri and what zerland andused Kosovo. thought about things — theto hundreds ing well-mopped battered and and the Jordan, to Rwandacourtyard in Africa and Samoa in in summer.

Now, years later,from when think so It Salihu are both ex-footballers the Iformer is stories suchother as this that serve coalesce thousands villages that worthy have disapbruised like and a defeated soldier.

After theWorld rains, about the Pacific, beyond.

The football rains Today, in Chandmari our beautiful Yugoslavia. they are in respectively the and Montague’s workofinto one well of a fromOne Assam’s atlas due to soil erosion long, darktoearthworms crawled on ever the campus Cup isfat, as close a global event as we will with thick growth ofFootball trees, I think of peared president andasecretary of the Federaread. Thirty Nil is written elegantly, with a the last 60 years,ofabout the rottingofbody of ground would them in tranyam the get; the and bookwe shows us collect how the game rains. sparkling red krishtionaftermath of Kosovo.ofOn MayThe 6, 2008, months after in sound knowledge the geopolitics the 25 separatedfrom fromSerbia, the trees, the the man who couldn’t be buried for to, several leaves coconut to use as fishing bait nachura scendsand culture andshells politics, while simultanedeclaringflowers independence backed countries that Montague has travelled and, yellow laburnum thatapplied forms days because all land in that in the imprinting Tamulidobhaupon river the — a tributary the thick, ously world itsofown

by France, thecarpet US andofthe UK, Kosovo ultimately, it shows uswas notunder merelywater why we love road overnight after rains pink upper Assam village. wondered if I had the Brahmaputra. moral order. When our aunts found out, on for the membership with the FIFA. Butor itsthe applicafootball, but also howIthe game often mirrors that embrace theon emerald green right to romanticise rains at all. they would pat their headswrites with cold water radhachuras “International football,” Montague, tion was rejected, purportedly the grounds life itself. playground where everyone from the pots and lament, “Will someone “means something…

A national football team of thatthe it was not an independent State in in the kashyap is the authorisof The House With a erected a large screen to watch aruni suhrith parthasarathy a lawyer and writer please go get before they arerubbing swept away becomes the them nation personified, up township eyes of thehad international community.

World Cup Cricket 2011.

Stories and teaches at the Ashoka University from Chennai by the river?” alongside enemies and friends.” In some re- theKosovo, ravaged byofSlobodan Miloševic’s Thousand

Football and the State

A book that shows us how the beautiful game transcends culture and politics, and imprints upon the world its own moral order

I

Thirty one Nil On the road with football’s outsiders: a World Cup Odyssey James Montague Bloomsbury Non-fiction ₹499

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Bucolic charms (clockwise from right) A forest stream at low water; a rain-proofed hut in Agumbe; collectibles from the forest floor janaki lenin

That was surprising. There were no elephants in Agumbe until six years ago, when two bulls from Chikmagalur started making annual visits.

“There was a massive forestry operation in the old days. Lots of captive elephants were used to fell trees and move logs,” said Kasturiakka.

Later, I dropped in to see Vamanna, the local weatherman. He has maintained records from 1962, also the year of the highest rainfall in 52 years: 11,343mm. I struggled to imagine what

over 35 feet of rain could be like. He offered an said a recent arrival at the station. “Monsoon understatement: “The road was blocked.” arrives with a lot of thunder and lightning.”

One afternoon, rains came down with force A veteran countered, “That’s pre-monsoon. and mist wafted down from the sky. In the eve- The monsoon arrives with wind only.” ning, winged termites emerged from the According to the weathermen, it’s officially ground. Some flew upwards on their nuptials, monsoon when it has rained for over 48 hours while most crash-landed nearby, unable to get with a westerly wind speed of 27 to 37kmph. airborne. It was raining too hard for any pred- This is the way the monsoon arrives, not with a ators to home in on this meal. Moments later, I bang but inexorably blown in. grew aware of another kind of water rushing.

That humid night was deafening with A stream that had been dry had sounds of a frog orgy. Their motstarted to gush. To me, swarming tled glistening skins shone termites and rushing stream brightly in torchlight. A dark Mapersonified monsoon. labar pit viper, resembling li“This is not the monsoon,” I struggled to imagine chen, coiled around a stick on the path, waiting to ambush a what over 35 feet of passing frog, even as the rain rain could be like. beat down on it.

He offered an understatement: arly the next morning, I wait“The road was ed for a taxi to the airport. I blocked” wondered if the driver would arrive on time with the rain pelting down and mist reducing visibility. As the watch ticked, I considered my meagre options. The jeep would not get me to the airport in time. It was either the taxi or a missed flight. I stared at the misty blankness. Was this the monsoon finally? A phone call broke my reverie. The driver said a fallen tree obstructed the road.

I woke up Ajay and he drove me the few hundred metres to the tree. The only way to get to the other side was to squeeze through the barbed-wire fence protecting a Forest Department cane and guava plantation, circumvent most of the prone tree crown, crawl back out through the fence, and scramble over a few branches.

I reached the airport just in time, with red earth crusted around my toes, disreputable flip-flops, damp bags and a lingering smell of jackfruit on my hands. The monsoon had well and truly arrived.

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janaki lenin writes on wildlife and conservation. Her last book was My Husband & Other Animals.

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Critical mass There is no activity that does not involve hordes in Mumbai, and the day after the big rain was no exception ritu raj konwar

A monsoon memoir

In the return of the soul-quenching rains, year after year, lies the circle of life

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verything that I remember about my and his man-bits were hanging out. Years lat- night, three of us decided there was nothing life seems to have occurred over the er, I read Katherine Hepburn’s memoir, Me, in else to do but walk. There is no activity that din of the rain. In Kerala, where I which she described the first time someone does not involve hordes in Mumbai, and the grew up in a township, the rains, like flashed her. “What did you do?” a friend asks day after the big rain was no exception. In secveena venugopal a paedophilic uncle from Dubai, arrived as Hepburn. “I looked,” she replies. And even as onds, we lost one another and, alone and both a saviour and a savage, laden with gifts my mind was conjuring up images of Los An- afraid, I waded through muddy water, climband a threat of dangerous disappointment. Af- geles or wherever it was that Hepburn was liv- ing endless flyovers and walking past stalled ter the long days of May, in a seemingly end- ing, I stopped with a gasp, because I could still cars and their exhausted drivers well after it less summer holiday spent fighting the heat hear that umbrella being whipped away in the turned dark. Every few steps I’d clasp my stomand the humidity that render you lethargic township that drizzly day, and truth be told, I ach and tell the seven-month-old foetus in it to and parched, all you wish for is the first sight too had looked. hang on, we’d get through this together. of the dark clouds. And then on June 1, without It was only when I went to college in Chen- Hours later, I stumbled home, where the bafail it now seems to me, noon would feel like nai that I began to understand a little of the ro- by’s father and I clutched each other and wept. dusk and all at once, the skies would open up. mantic allure of the rain. One Diwali week, It was, I am now certain, the last time we let June 2 was usually the first day of the school when most students had gone home leaving our vulnerabilities trump our egos. year. The new school shoes, black Mary Janes behind only a dozen or so of us, the rain came A few days later, in a city that was now terrifrom Bata, bought after much warning that no down with such force that trees that seemed fied of rain, I found myself once again in a matter what these have to last the year, and to have been living from the start of time were stalled train, watching the water devour the smelled, touched and carefully tried on for a uprooted. Electricity cables snapped, the road tracks. People jumped off and hurried home. fortnight, would remain in the realm of the between Ethiraj College, where I studied, and Except one old lady, who went to the slum longed, for three more months.

Rani Meyyammai Hostel, where I nearby and rustled together We lived in a corner house, where my ‘study lived, was a flowing brown ribthree drenched young men and desk’ was pushed against a partly curtained bon. It must have been past mida rickety iron chair and brought window. The street light outside was my rain night when we heard a noise them back to the coach to help The damp and the gauge, in its glow I could see whether the rain- and looked out of the window. the pregnant girl down. I knew dank was so pervasive drops were the nimble dancers of a drizzle or Standing on the road, knee-deep then that when people ask me that it formed the the weighty pellets of a downpour. When they in water from the over-run where I’m from, the only honest very texture of my changed the lamp from tubelight, encased in Cooum, the rain plastering his answer is Mumbai; it’s where I school years a black filter of long-dead insects, to a sun- hair on his forehead, my boyleft a piece of my heart. shine yellow halogen, my rain gauge took on friend was waving out to me. The The rain in Delhi, like much the aesthetics of a fantasy. It seemed to have, following morning, I called him, else in the city, is a cacophony of like a picture of Jesus that hung in friends’ feeling the first stirrings of adult ostentatious sound and light, homes, a golden halo that stood up to the love — a mixture of coy gratitude and mater- with very little substance. But sometimes, forces of nature. nal reproach — and asked him about this noc- when the thunder snuffles and the lightning The damp and the dank was so pervasive turnal desperation. Alas, he was too stoned or is a weak flash in the distance, my eight-yearthat it formed the very texture of my school too drunk and had no recollection of it. old girl and I go to the balcony and gaze at the years, marked by the spotted pyramid of mud A decade later, I was the one standing in sight of water falling on itself. I hold my head on our calves and the moss on the walls. We knee-deep water in what started as just anoth- straight but from the corner of my eye, I can didn’t play in the rain, as kids now tend to do, er July day in Mumbai. I was a reporter then, see her standing strangely still and unusually we played and inevitably it was raining. Even writing on stock markets and mutual funds quiet, chin resting on the railing, while the our umbrellas were firm and functional; we for this paper. By 5pm, the rain was so relent- rain etches the lines on which she will draw used them as shields, not toys. Which is why, less that it was evident no one would be able to her memories. She may not speak of it thus, even though I may have only been 11 or 12 and go home. We stayed that night in office, nod- but even she knows that only a fool would degoing home from somewhere, I remember ding off at our desks, some of us sleeping in scribe it as a cycle of evaporation and condenthinking it strange that the man walking to- the bureau chief’s quarters upstairs. The next sation, when the irrefutable truth is that, it is wards me was playfully twirling his umbrella evening, when the rain seemed to have let up, the circle of life. in front of him. As he reached me, he swept it we set off for the suburbs. Halfway through, In this monthly series authors chronicle the cities theyI call home.

Undurti and Harshocaught Mohanin Chattoraj are was graphic novelists and have Hyderabad: A Graphic Novel veenacreated venugopal aside and realised his Jai pants were unzipped traffic that gridlocked over-

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Hanging by When the rain a silk thread ELSEWHERE

manjula padmanabhan

clouds roll in

The master of writing a series, JK Rowling keeps readers gladly guessing in the second outing for her unlikely detective, Strike

In the forests of Agumbe, even before the monsoon arrived, the air was heavy with the promise of rain and the smell of wild jackfruit

Alexander and I

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A night with the Great Orange Cat and the Destroyer of Badminton Nets

owder puff clouds built up during the the rains will deliver less than their normal lectable flesh whole. This was not the familiar June day, but then wafted away across quantum. Would it make a difference to jackfruit, but a wild cousin. the sky above Agumbe, Karnataka. Agumbe, a place famous for its copious rainInch-long leeches made their way towards When thunder roared late in the af- fall, an average of 7,500mm in a normal year? us, sensing the air occasionally with the narMargaux andlinear Michael are away forinthe ternoon, my head snapped skywards. Had the At dawn, birds began singing even as frogs y friends rower end of their bodies to zero on So I’mI flicked over at them their house once monsoon arrived? The heavens rumbled continued their vocal din. The whistling weekend. their targets. off with onemore, hand, provide food and love to sticky Alexander, Great promises they didn’t keep. Newspapers said thrush’s unhurried, rambling tune harmo- towhile digging into the fruitthe with the the monsoon had set in over Kerala but wasn’t nised with racket-tailed drongos’ brisk, metal- Orange other.Cat. By the time I had a few pieces, Ram had He greets me at the doordemolished holding hishalf creamy-white moving north. lic, multi-timbral chatter. the fruit, tail and “good see you. Come At night, the forest resounded with a sym- Fairy-bluebirds flashed their la- aloft. “Hello, Visiting Slave,” he hispurrs, hands andtostubble-covered his dinner bowl.

“It is empphony of frog calls. They chirped, belled, pis shoulders as they flitted this way, please?” He goes toward face were smeared in white latex. delicately at its rim before gazcroaked and clicked from the grass, low bush- around fruiting bushes. Crim- ty, you know,” he says, sniffingI’ve been known to hog a whole up night at me belonged with his huge eyes.by Then he walks short es, and the canopy. It sounded like a monsoo- son-breasted Malabar trogons ing jackfruit myself, and aI began The to golden astexcept year, there whenwas Robert Gal- gives them away and turns his while scurry nal night, no rain. horrendous bodies kept a low profile on and the forest distance to back see a politely competitor in IRam. I’d the amphibians braith’sa debut bookstudying was repulsive forto him.

Ramprasad, researcher these traits.

Any luminary the edge. The day grew in brighter, re- about, opening a can of dinner have be faster and less decopublished, first it Rainforest sold publishing I am very grateful that he’s forgotten ourother last half enamphibians at the atAgumbe Re- vealing industryblue who recognises skies, and the rous.

But Ramabout left the some 1,500 being locked and out,rose, possibly for search Station (ARRS),copies. pointedThe to puddles himself ornight’s herself illusion in the book of has monsoon counter, with the trauma ofon the ground suggestmurder mystery had an unlikely the whole night. In the evening, shadows in the where newly metamorphosed, dark brown enough reasons to kill Quine. And vanished. ing, as “We’ll leavelengthen the rest for the protagonist, Afghan war veteran old house, beside Ime, holding my hand. He knows I torrent frogsan hopped out.

Small, brightso, green a hundred pages later, when It was the end of the jackfruit season.

Manyhe sits animals.” acquiesced. with prosthetic rightfrogs leg. His sideam worrying believewe in them, of course. male aMalabar gliding with hibiscus-red Quine is found dead, killed theground, exlay squashed on in the a feast for ani- about Atghosts. the firstI don’t homestead, stopped to clean kick and secretary, wasinhopfloorboards and are those softdidn’t footfeet straddled largeRobin, females mating actemsettingmals as the book’s ending,toallsquirrelsBut from elephants andcurtains rats. A rustle, up and quench creak, our thirst.

Our hosts ing to bag an HRofjob in aofcompany steps I hear No,on notthe really.

Ah well.

Time for bed. braces.

A couple pairs gliding frogs had become of them suspects.fruits hung pendulously few remaining fromoverhead? comment obvious signs of our jungle when she came knocking on Strike’s nest balls I say goodnight to Alex.

My room on the ground floor. It already whipped up meringue-like Having tree traversed entire dis-ripe one hung trunks.the A fragrantly low, repast.

Bidding themisfarewell, we returned to door for above temporary work. hascollected glass doors the looking ontostation. the backyard. There’s a badminthat hung a pond.

A treeThen toad plopped tance, from a struggling writer to anMilky sap and Ram pulled it down. research came thethe “accidental” reveal. ton net stretched across it. When down on forest floorbig from a height.

The around unparalleled publishing sensation, the broken stalk.

The creator of Strike Robin, the in the cut-throat louds gathered, byoff evening, began I put theand lights and lieitunder night belonged to theand amphibians. book industry, Squatting on the ground, he grasped the author of Cuckoo’s Calling, Robert rainingthe in earnest.

In the quilt, I can see village, the net many flapPre-monsoon showers may have greened Rowling fleshy is wellend placed of the to fruitwrite and pulled it apart. The Galbraith was and nonemade otherfrogs thanamorous, JK about already with tarpaulin in thecovered bright moonlight.

It’s the landscape butit. As a peek into the and world of I popped one in my houses wereping bulbs were small thin.

Yup. There’s a dark Rowling — sheforwho gave us Harry soak. the prevailing wind. There’s Some folnothing, I tell myself. a the soil ached a four-month-long This egos bloated and relentless self-promouth.

It was fibrous, soft and unchewable. I sheets against shape out there, low Potter. theweathermen predicted spatmotion — areca fronds skilfully breeze.

I’m not wearing mywoven glassis an ElPredictably, Nino year, and pubout thethat largethe seed and swallowed the de- lowed tradition on the ground book quickly went on es. Relax. Then the door of my lishing business is now to become a bestseller. room bangs open and my heart reduced to, The SilkThe Silkworm is the hits the ceiling. It’s only Alex, of worm is a delight. second in the series of course. He climbs onto the bed, Rowling is undoubtQuine spares no one Rowling writing as curls up at my feet and begins to snore. edly the master of writ— dominant agents, Galbraith. Strike, who No question of sleep now. If I get up to close the door, Alex ing a series. This alcoholic editors and got some publicity for will only scratch on it at once, wanting to leave. But I’d like second book (out of a deviant publishers solving the mystery of him to stay because he keeps the ghosts at bay. While I’m frettotal of seven) builds a murdered superting about my choices I glance up and see that, outside in the on the first. Despite model in Cuckoo’s Callbackyard, the net is now jerking in a completely non-breezy Strike's tendency to ing, has spent the eight way. This time my heart stays put but I stop breathing. I reach close out the world, he months since flush with work, most- is beginning to be understandable. for my glasses and sit up. Yup. There’s a dark shape out there, ly spying on the philandering The chemistry between him and the low on the ground. spouses of London’s billionaires. much-engaged Robin is palpable That’s when Alex lifts his head and looks out. The moment Which is why, when Leonara Quine, and, while the reader is rooting for he does that, I am calm again. He jumps down from the bed, the wife of author Owen Quine, them to just get on with it already, goes to the glass, looks out. I follow him. There in the mooncomes to him after her husband Rowling shows cunning calculation light is a raccoon. A big male, going by size. He has got the goes missing, Strike takes on the as- in bringing them tantalisingly characteristic striped bushy tail, pale body, and bandit-mask signment despite knowing that he close, only to leave them hanging. across the eyes. He totally hates that net! He’s snatching at it was unlikely to be paid for it. with his small, black hand-like paws, he’s jumping up and While the narrative gets clunky at Owen Quine is a bit of an author- times, there is no faulting Rowling’s biting it. It’s strung between two slender poles. As soon as ial loose-cannon. He’s just finished ability to plot. The best way to judge one pole is down, he stops and stalks off. writing ‘Bombyx Mori’ (the scientif- The Silkworm is by assessing whether Up on the roof of the next-door garage, I see a number of ic name of the silkworm) before dis- you would have raced to the finish smaller raccoons. They make soft trilling sounds. “Yay, Dad!” appearing from home. The book, had it been written by Robert Galthey chirp. “Destroyer of Badminton Nets!” I get back into whose manuscript his agent acci- braith, an unknown author. And my bed. Alex purrs beside me. Then I’m asleep. dentally sent to a couple of publish- answer to that is ‘yes’. While I won’t MANJULA PADMANABHAN, author and artist, tells us tales of her parallel ing houses, is a takedown of be queuing outside a bookstore the life in Elsewhere, US, in this fortnightly series marginalien.blogspot.in London’s publishing industry. night before, it’s safe to say I am exQuine has mocked everyone in the citedly looking forward to the third book — publishers, agents, editors, book’s release. and the hordes of hopeful to-bepublished writers and groupies. He veena venugopal

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L The Silkworm A Cormoran Strike novel Robert Galbraith Hachette India Fiction ₹699

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saturday, july 12,12, 2014 saturday, july 2014

Fashionably yours

through a wooden frame to form a watertight barrier. But many tardy households were still repairing their roofs, and rains must have been unwelcome.

After dinner, I contemplated going for a walk. But Ajay Giri, the station’s education officer, received an urgent call. A king cobra had gone to sleep under a bed in a village house about 60km away. The decrepit jeep’s headlights and windscreen wiper didn’t work. At least the yellow fog lights did, but it took us two hours to reach the village. Women and children were already tucked indoors, and a (“Save a spire” is a compelling slogan), buy a minutes for a table. While Paco munches on crowd of about 30 men, most of them exhal- postcard of the Madonna for my grandmother banana chips, we discuss other Indian foods ing fumes of alcohol, awaited us. (only to later realise the Virgin is quite care- and discover a shared love for that Kerala speThe men ushered us to a tiny lessly in the middle of breastfeeding the in- ciality jackfruit chips. The irony of travelling house. Firewood and bales of leaf fant Jesus; religious as my grandmother is, she all the way to Milan and discussing the subtlelitter to spread in the barns lay might not appreciate this little oversight), and ties of fried chakka chips with my first Italian covered in plastic. Cow dung patlight a candle while praying (obviously) for friend is not lost on me.

This was not the ties to be used as fuel lay in piles. more trips to Italy.

While it’s Venice that’s famous for its canals familiar jackfruit, but Inside, pickles cured in large porOne of my assignments in Milan is to deliv- in Italy, I’m surprised to learn that Milan too a wild cousin celain jars, while stacks of dry aper a package to a friend of a friend, an Italian was once dominated by waterways. In fact, Napalams sat on kitchen shelves. from Capri who happened to be in the viglio is named after the five interconnected From the rafters, rotund Madras city. Paco, I discover, has lived and canals called the Navigli that linked the rivcucumbers hung from strings. studied in Milan earlier, so I get ers Ticino, Lambro and Adda to the mainYoung green jackfruit and mangoes, gourds, him to show me around in reland, thereby giving landlocked Milan and bamboo shoots were preserved in salt. turn for the banana chips I’m access to the Adriatic Sea. Built in the Once the monsoon hit, vegetables would delivering.

1930s, the canals were no longer used become scarce, and families in this region will Left with a few hours to kill for transportation towards the late live on a diet of fresh edible leaves from the before I meet Paco, I walk 1960s. Paco says there are plans kitchen garden and Madras cucumbers. Appa- around Milan’s busiest square, to restore the Naviglio Grande, lams, pickles and salted preserves made into trying to soak it all in, and I end the biggest of the canals. chutneys would provide the only variety. up inhaling a lot of second-hand We finally get our table, sharA large king cobra lay in a tight coil under smoke (and occasional whiffs of, ing it with a (predictably) goodthe bed and hissed softly when the torchlight let’s just say, something a lot looking family of four, and order hen in Rome, dobeasinthe Ro- ‘greener’ than tobacco.) Milan’s shone on his face.

I didn’t want to a furnitwo pizzas. Similar in texture to The aperitivo is a manswith do, maybe… but in Mi- youngsters are a spectacularly ture-crammed house a soon-to-be-agitatthe Indian naan, the steaming brilliant system lan,men don’t bother. the Thedoor. localsI well-dressed lot; in fact, everyed snake and 30 blocking hot pizza has a crust that is chewhere you pay for a are far too fashionable to ape, one from little kids to grandwy and thin, without the crispiminimum of two just enjoy the eye-candy instead. There’s noth- mothers seem to have mastered ness of the thin-crust pizzas back drinks and enjoy ing quite like Italian men to restore your faith the art of chic dressing, living up home. Halfway through my porunlimited starters in god. And the women inspire emotions that to their city’s reputation . cini and parmesan pizza, I am go from jealousy to admiration to an urgent Paco takes me around suburstuffed and Paco readily offers to need to shop. ban Milan, away from the glitzy finish it. Despite the full tummy, I Milan is much like the gorgeous supermod- stores and the restaurants magically find space for gelato els who frequent this fashion capital — stun- where the waiters appear better-dressed than (because, who says ‘no’ to gelato in Italy?). opted to stay whileof Ajay directed the ning, but not always the most approachable. the tourists.

Clutching myoutdoors, double scoop nero cioccolato gaping jumbo-sized bag.

And bone-chillingly cold, I would add, but We walk across streets filled with a Saturday snake — superinto darka chocolate — I discoversnake the joys of of ice thecream men, awhen retired kept that’s because I chose to visit in winter. Well, at night crowd, and I’m tempted to try the aperi- One eating thepoliceman, temperature is me behad Kosovo on to a UN took meserved aboutin half an hour be least it’s not tourist season, I consoled myself. tivo — a brilliant system where you pay for a company. low 6oC. ItHe Mission.again, He but spoke about 10 able to feel my fingers that’s a deepBut one look at the crowds thronging the Qua- minimum of two drinks and enjoy a spread of Peacekeeping of English and my Kannada freeze worth every ounce of la dolcewas vita.worse. drilatero d’Oro, and I was left wondering what unlimited starters. Heading towards a lesser- words After Ajay bagged thewas snake, he gave (The writer in Milan at thethe inpeak season would be like in comparison. known suburb called Naviglio, we discuss a talk on the species and the of Kiton.)

It’s a city that’s up there with Paris, London what to have for dinner. I am keen to try some gathered crowd vitation and Tokyo as the fashion capitals of the world, authentic Milanese cuisine, but Paco talks me need to release it close by. Freeing it far away would likely sentence it to death, he said, quelizabeth mathew but tourists mostly overlook it for the more out of it, insisting that the oting a research study. It was well past midpopular Venice or Rome. Which is surprising classic saffron risotto night before Ajay had answered all their given that Milan is as steeped in history as the would be too bland for questions. Forest Department officials escortother two and has more than its share of beau- my Indian taste buds. We ed us to a forest a kilometre away. Ajay opened tifully sculpted baroque churches and build- finally settle on a pizza the bag, and the 11-foot snake disappeared into ings. At the Duomo, a 16th-century cathedral, place that’s so popular the darkness. locals attend mass in cordoned-off sections with the locals that we even as tourists go around gaping at its mag- have to wait a good 15 ver the following days, the weather folnificent interiors. I do the usual touristy lowed the same pattern: sunny mornthings — donate a euro to the restoration fund ings, cloudy afternoons and rainy evenings.

I asked Kasturiakka, a matriarch who lived in Agumbe’s famous 200-year-old family home, Dodda Mane, the setting for the muchloved television series Malgudi Days, if villagers worshipped for rain. She said, “Yes, at the Rishya Shringeswara temple in Kigga.”

“Do people ever request god to stop the rains?” I asked.

“Of course,” she said. “They worship at the same temple. But the monsoons were heavier 20 years ago.”

I expected the name Agumbe, a place that considers 7,500mm of rainfall normal, to mean ‘where the rains dump their goods’.

Even Rishya Shringeswara, the sage who could summon Indra, the god of rains, presided 35km away. Kasturiakka corrected me, “Agumbe is short for Madagumbapura. It means ‘the place with lots of elephants’.”

Milan is much like the gorgeous supermodels flocking it, but this Mecca of high fashion stylishly coexists with ancient history and a wealth of baroque architecture

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Sailing in the city A waterway at Naviglio; a mountain of gelato (right) ; and the 16th-century Duomo (bottom) shutterstock

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Travel log

Reach Major airlines, such as Emirates, Qatar and Etihad, fly from India to Milan’s Malpensa airport, from where the city centre is 45 (clockwise The spoils minutes away byfrom train.top) In the Wild city, walk, like the locals, wild or take jackfruit; flowers a subway for long anddistances. a male Malabar janaki lenin glidingareas frog there Closer to the tourist are trams that ply short distances. Taxis are expensive, and not recommended.

Stay Ostello Bello is extremely popular with young tourists on a budget for its super-clean rooms, central location (short walk from the Duomo), lively bar and friendly staff who speak English (from €28; ostellobello.com/en). For more upscale options, the NH Touring on Via Ugo Tarchetti is a safe bet (from €99; nh-hotels.it).

Eat Try I Capatosta for authentic Neapolitan pizzas and dine the old-fashioned way — share your table with locals. If you’re walking around the Quadrilatero d’Oro, try Luini for their famed panzerotti. But if you’d rather not wait in line, try Di Gennaro Pizzeria next door. The gelato is consistently good anywhere in the city.

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LIGHTHOUSE

Football Folding= Chess + Poker up the map

The real contest in football is outside the penalty box, not inside. The goals are happenstance Hard luck, really Netherlands’ Arjen Robben consoles goalkeeper Iker Casillas after Spain’s ‘unlucky’ rout in the World Cup ap/natacha pisarenko

ics recently called The Numbers Game, by Chris Anderson and David Sally. The book starts off by making the controversial point that football is “basically a 50/50 game. Half of it is luck, and half of it is skill.” They cite a study by Eli Ben-Naim, Sidney Redner and Federico Vazquez that looked at more than 43,000 games of football played in the top flight of English football since 1888 and found that the likelihood of the underdog winning was 45.2 per cent. (A draw is considered half a win here, for statistical purposes.)

Many the stats that book callnever out tosee theeach o unfold a map is to unfold adven- was warm and comforting. haveofmet.

Eveninthough you’ll pokerother player in even me, though given that I amnothing now to ture. Listen carefully as you smooth Just a few centuries ago, cartographers were again, you have trained tointhink probabilistically. Over time, out those well-worn creases and you the heroes of a generation; courted by kings, offer return. across leagues and continents, perfor cent of a sewill hear the snapping of sails over a coddled by empire builders and military stratWhen someone draws a 20 map you, corners to ainshot on goal, and around 11 of a perfect blue ocean. Close your eyes and you egists. The early cartographers of the Survey of rieslead of lines the fine red sand at the side per cent go in. That means around will feel the steady, increasing rhythm of a India worked cloaked in secrecy, using Buddroadof or those indecipherable grids on the back of a one in 50 corners in a goal. masterful train leaving the station. Your map is your tick- hist prayer beads to count paces, disguised as receipt, they results are showing youA how they look analysis of this Lionel Messi Benjamin map Morris et. To sit before an unfolded map, tracing out monks. The core of cartography is curiosity, upon world.

A by hand-drawn is preon fivethirtyeight.com reveals scores that uneven lines of untouched road, is to feel the desire to explore the world around us. If cious and unique.

It is athat wayMessi of learning from outside the penalty area 12.1 cent of and small and humble. This world is large, barely knowledge is power then the this world is per beautiful the time (one in eight times)Hard and from a direct to knowable, our time here already running out. pull of the unknown is more strange. to describe free kick 8 per cent of the and timenever (one exactly in 12.5 the I have loved maps since I was a little girl and powerful still. strangers times). Thus, everysame corner worth 0.022 goals. my days were filled with them. In school, we I never imagined that one day foristwo people.

Every wrong Messi free-kickTo where goesGPS for is goal had maps on our pencil boxes, maps lying in maps would become something trusthe your to is forget With every 0.08 goals.

In the long run, that’s what wait on the back covers of notebooks. We had that no one used any more. Ob- turn youworth how fragile and interconnected take, you are weadventure get. In the short run, in a particular maps curled up and lurking above black- solete, unwanted, unloved, lanour world is. Batteriesmatch, will drain shaking it’sthe largely luck, whether those gowill in ordisappear, not. boards, waiting to be yanked down. We even guishing under piles of and networks out from insides That is why the truest indicator of a team’s had globes to spin, which we did repeatedly telephone books, VCRs and and even the most reliable of of your pockets quality comes in agadgets league format, knockwith our eyes closed to determine where we reams of writing paper. will let not you adown for no out format, and England’s best That teamlonely is likelier I understand the allure of satwould live when we grew up (often, disapgood reason. satellite to be the winner of the Premier League pointingly, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean). ellite-based navigation systems revolving around ourthan planet the FA Cup. When we still didn’t know who we were, a map — that a smartphone with GPS redoes not care about the tree fallwhat the makes the World Cup so cruel. could at least tell us where we were, and this ceivers and mapping can make you feel invin- That’s en across road, the broken water pipe, the One unlucky is all itprocession takes for a with dream cible when facing the open road. I can even unendingday wedding thetoshellagnus Carlsen loves football. He ciate understand end. shocked Considerbridegroom two matches the nuances why of thesome struggle between bat deargue that these on abetween horse. Spain kicked off a Real Madrid-Real Val- and ball.

In the of the World in football outside and Netherlands. vicesThe arereal thecontest next logical step inis cartography.

A folded map is final a thing of 2010 beauty — quiet ladolid match on his 23rd birth- the penalty Cup, It Arjen missed a the box, inside.

The that the spirit of and dignified.

However, it isnot hard to imagine existsRobben to remind you that day last November in a Real goalsCaptain great be opportunity in wonders the 82nd are happenstance.

James Cook would be smiling down world cannot folded up. Its are to Madrid T-shirt, which he also wore to the minute,and ahead of all the upon the soul who insists on using only turn- be experienced explored, notdefendexplained. he other game I love, besides Champions League final between Real and Aterswrong with only Iker to beat. by-turn navigation.

That he would applaud With every turn youCasillas take, you are shakFans who want lots of chess, is of poker.

I’ve been a reduced to the ing adventure letico Madrid. Vishy Anand, who he beat for Four years Spain leadthe idea exploration being out later, from with the insides of your goals in football are poker for the compressing this pockets. ing the World Championship last year, also sup- professional David has Silvajust missed a great mere input of aplayer destination, This1-0, journey begun. like the philistines and one the ports Real Madrid, and their fanhood of this last four chance to get them 2-0 up, which worldyears, of ours into an of unwieldy video game. who just want fours I’ve best gained from it a the ones where snigdha might sport is befitting. Football is basically chess things The wellis ahave sealed the manickavel Hyderabad-based writer journeys areisnot and sixes in cricket muchyou deeper appreciation of the played on a field with 22 variables. match. The first miss cost Nethfollow a blinking arrow but the ones luck you in sports, The main protagonists at the Champions role of erlands the World Cup; the secwhere throwincluding a map into your bag and League final were not any of their players, but in football. ond one proved costly as hope for the best. As you drive with your Poker is aand game where skill the two coaches Carlo Ancelotti and Diego SiNetherlands stormed back into creased flimsy companion, you are forced itself in the long run,and butagain. luck plays meone. As Jonathan Wilson wrote in Inverting manifests the match. Even after Spain disintegrated, to look around you again To match partisinon thethe short run.with Here’s a simple ex- You the Pyramid, his magisterial book on the histo- a huge though, they had nine attempts at goal to what paper what you see. let’sthat say athat I are all onyou a alry of football tactics, “Football is not about ample: Netherlands’s 13. Even in a match that one side know mapyou is aand powerful toolinbut you hold the top pair and I hold a map players […]: it is about shape and about space, flop where won 5-1, luck played a big part. (For the record, so know that it is not enough.

A folding flush never draw. presume I am 38 per cent to win about the intelligent deployment of players, smallwould I still think Spain is one of the best teams in to estimate yourthe time of you areIt62 per cent. the first time and their movement within that deploy- hand,arrival. the world and tiki-taka is far from finished — knows thatNow, an important part of hit thebe flush, and you lose. but that’s a topic for another day.) ment.” Coaches are the masterminds who, this happens, travellingI may is to never too sure of anything. luck. may at even first with over a century of history to draw upon, That’s just When weItgaze ourhappen devicesthe and scurry The realisation of how big a part luck plays or four times, if youingetthoroughly really unlucky. marshal their resources the best they can. To threethrough in any individual match hasn’t diminished my the world efficient time, play this hand thousands anyone aware of this history, and following But over enjoyment of the game, but heightened it. The ways, we as areweforgetting the most important even out, and win rateplanet. will To the dynamics with each individual contest, of times, management of luck is at the heart of poker, partitofwill our sojourn on your this watery your equity in the hand — thatwho is, you’ll football is deeply complex and extremely fas- reflect and of football as well. The best coaches know connect with the otherpeople are here win 62 perus.cent theeven time, and will make a this, always working hard to increase their cinating, even when a match is a 0-0 draw. with Howofcan is all about This is why it irritates me no end when so- profit. thePoker hardest heart not getting yourself re- probabilities of winning, optimising furiously, profitable called fans — mostly folk who wake up during peatedly be into touched whenspots, on average, and aiming for efficiency and, when they succeed, enough hands the World Cup every four years — celebrate playing strangers cometo make sure that the achieving a beauty that is more than just skinrun manifests itself, and you end up a deep. Football combines the qualities of chess games with open, attacking football and lots long forward to help even though of goals, and deride matches that are scrappy winner and— guide when the outcome of any one and poker, and has much else besides. No wonhandlost? may be decided by luck. But der they call it the beautiful game. and messy. Fans who want lots of goals in foot- particular you are does this have ball are like the philistines who just want lots whatPeople whoto do with football? t@amitvarma I read fascinating book on football analytof fours and sixes in cricket, and don’t appregazea at you, curious and pleased that you

Who knew that one day maps would become obsolete, unwanted, unloved, languishing under piles of telephone books, VCRs and reams of writing paper?

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Amit Varma is a novelist. He blogs at indiauncut.com

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BAWDY LINE

The massage Fresh ideas in a salad bowl With the exception of actual coitus and its accompanying practices, cutaneous tactile Sometimes it takes is aperhaps little bitthe of pluck turn thedorsal familiar ‘exotic’ stimulation by aallmassage most to gratifying or into ventral pleasure

Desexualised She must keep it studiedly Not aasexual raw deal while appearing devoted to a client’s (clockwise body shutterstock from far left) A tribal woman part of me. It was all duty andcarries pleasure and her load of marked by a sublime lack of embarrassment jackfruits from on her part. She would, for instance, quite near inChittamgondi, souciantly, move parts of myVisakhapatnam reproductive deepak; peddling anatomy around if they were krgetting in her snake beans in way. For my part I think I kept her entertained Thrissur kk mustafah; by showing how prolific and well-ordered kakkat; plantains thulasimy cremasteric reflex was. The reflex is an urgent (bottom) a shrimp shutterstock contraction of the cremaster salad muscle in the

scrotum upon stroking the upper and inner thigh leading to a sudden pulling up of the testis on the side stroked. For the longest time, while she was toing and froing in the valley where the scrotal sac attaches itself to the to the yellow (make it at home, youconducting can) spikedan with groin, it seemed like sheifwas ex- garkernelled, ploratory lic as astudy dressing. of the burst activities and lastrong-scent-tenciesSnake beans lendAfter themselves well to of my cremaster. that shereally also did ed jackfruit. For salads I confess never a couple of too. other things Ithat arebelieved for the one mostcould those unfamiliar much with ropey beans barring a few part do unsayable, notthese to mention unspeakable, with aechor, I hasten dishes. need to a quick that spicy had the effectBut of the eliciting theassemble other perito add that at this green eveningknown to accompany a grilled neal salad reflex,one popularly as the anal wink, fish stage, the fruit has little resemblance (in taste) dinner, a wedge pumpkin and a but let’s just with leaveonly it at that, shallofwe? to what it would one day become tangle of snake beans in the She had introduced herself as Tuyet, which unplucked!

It is odourless fridge to work up bet was in my 38th summer, lying prone on hiredifinleft sectors where they’re required to pro- meant snow white.

I don’t knowwith, howended old she has a wonderful meaty texing was a blessing disguise.

In this a massage table in an effeminate G-string vide and ministrations: restaurants, nightclubs, was, but clearly she born in into the new when cooked (steamed or pumpkin made seemingly out of transparent tis- bars,ture hotels, spas, etc. I choose to affect a su- Vietnam, post Doiinstance, Moi, theboth 1986cubed market reFaced with an almostboiled).

Combined slivered particuchoppedto what beanswaswere sue, with the most beautiful nubile preme loathing of mostwith stereotypes, forms that made and the transition bare fridge, 30 steamed to the al economy. dente (to-theyoung woman in Vietnam straddling the low- larly onions, this one,ruby but red the pomegranate continuing depilated calledwith a socialist-oriented market minutes pack a that she supposed to the be the plump olives, rather all deepteeth) and while still er slopes of my ecessity back thatisI apprehended graceand bit, I’m afraid,black is implanted Shetorevealed was stage from the provinces, quasi-healthy lunch, of invention.

In my bathed in a robusttodressing warm,Tây dressed with a bold full meaning of mother the human integument: thatkitchly in the old cerebellum eradicate.of from the neighbouring Ninh district, fromvinaicreative en, organ I knowinsheer desperation honey-laced, yo- you discover Some debt. mixed the skin, the largest the body, with its has Also, dear reader,garlic-infused you have to understand a family of farmersgrette. in crop-related She’dseeds youin never led to some of my happier innovaghurt, olive oil and chilli flakes, sunflower and flax) predominant purpose of tactile receptivity, is the cultural framings of this piece.

Almost depths ev- been Saigon for(pumpkin, five years. There were probthought you tions.

When you’re faced, for instance, with an this is a fabulous and filling saltossed inhome for crunch andtosmoked formed in the unborn embryo from the early ery massage I’ve partaken of has been of the ably suckling infants back waiting be fridge at 8.30—in thegerm morning Pair it with someadministered fresh, warm, by the possessed cheese (fetasurgery. works just germalmost-bare of the neuro-ectoderm the that and headad. and neck region, fed, rent to be paid,Bandel a mother awaiting have 30 minutes pack a quasi-healthy whole wheat rolls ornai any(barber) good called North Indian ideas fine too) sexuality crumbledare over before also forms the centraltonervous system. There-office friendly neighbourhood about comlunch, you discoverofcreative depthsand youitsnever bread Iforhave, a lovely, light and serving completed a no-hassle, fore, with the exception actual coitus Dashrath. wistfully butsatiswith open- plex and hyphenated.

Ninety minutes with thought you possessed.

Recently, tactile hankering fying,glee, summer seasonal summer salad. The viaccompanying practices, cutaneous mouthed heardlunch. stories of Sandwich Mas- Tuyet in Saigon for two million Vietnamese for newby salads, in a city where the wet markets thegreat unripe fruit of orange of the stimulation the Vietnamese massage is persages inPlantains Siam and—the JapaDongbrant changed whatand was,green for me, the heatdorsal wave only to segue inspecies ofofbanana — also do well in salads. vegetables a perfect canvas of earth haps recovered the mostfrom gratifying or ventral nese atradition the slippery licitprovide and respectable. to stifling monsoonal humidity, led is me to in some plantains (steamed in colours, speckled with thetobrown ofathe pleasure available to our species.

And there NuruThrow treatment.

On cubed a few occaIf I am allowed stretch par-seeds fresh ideas.

I was fed up of recycling theto old fathickrather hides to prevent discolouring) into with and the ivory white cheese.

You can masalso do a something of a micro-economy dedicated sions,their I have, unsuccessallelism, my Vietnamese Ninety minutes miliars of the season — eggplant, green patomato and salad sur- luxe replacing seeds with that proposition. fully,abeseeched theolives spouse forand you’ll sageby was slightly the analogous to ahonTuyetbe in Saigon for version paya, watermelon.

Determined at how they to the ey-toasted walnuts, and splurging on some reAnd, justcucumber, as I was descending into a lower to an oilprised massage.

Well,much let’s just saycontribute properly desexualised medical two million new characters my salad your store cupboard for jalapenos, ally top-quality goat cheese to dollop over it. state introduce of consciousness, she duginto her elbows in-bowl, that dish. we’veRaid managed to reach a examination.

The American soVietnamese Dong staying local,my seasonal veggies capers or where green peppercorn; sure you Since that eureka moment, I’ve been using to thewhile minor troughwith between scapulae and and modus vivendi I shall not make ciologist James Henslin had once changed what was, fruit, I that launched mission to Khoi, uncover don’t on the olive oil,inand you’re snake beans with chickpeas, kidney mentioned at this my place, on Dong by the broach thestint subject again and considered the pelvic with examinfor guaranme, licit and salad-potential that I was lay hidteed a flavourful full of interesting texbeans, with tomatoes and cucumber. the river Saigon, which was nowconvinced the Sheraton return shall not havesalad to worry ation in theatrical terms and respectable den in produce thatonce I hadstood so farthe encountered tastes andpoisoned. colours. Use mayonnaise My mum-in-law quite easily thestagmost inSaigon Hotel and Towers, apart- abouttures, my food being asked whatis the acceptable in girl traditional preparations. ventive cook I know, on Saturdays, mentonly of the who provided the inspiration The only other time I’ve allowed ings were forand a woman who mustwhen And in asGraham it turns Greene’s out, I was right. the family gathers at her in table for lunch, for Phuong novel TheGrated Quiet raw my thorax to be rubbed was in an expose her vagina a non-sexSummer of palm papaya and julienned mango regulars there’s always a newto surprise us. ReAmerican.

Phuong: Greene’sraw real-life f***are buddy ancient hamam insalad Istanbul, by a hearts ual manner a male?awaiting ‘The drape and man prawns in warm-weather But it’s theindiscovery it was a salad tomatoes and mellow fruit, and salads. the grand prize his large wheezy in a(serves stubble. 4) That was when sheetcently, is a prop: it hides thewhere pubicdiced area from 10 prawns deveined salad-potential of a couple of other and shavings of cucumber novelofonthe Vietnam.

What she effectively meant I was cowering onshelled, a warm marble slab in a herself butwafer-thin exposes it to the physician.

The pel- had 4-6 palm hearts fruits at the green or unripe stage that got me been tossed with palm between hearts — the was that this is where she would straddle him small towel and the rubdown was actually a vic theatre largely occurs herfruit legs,of the 1 cup grated green papaya excited.his On opium top of the heap greenhim jackfruit palmyra palm (taal in Bengali, nongu in Tamil, and prepare pipe andwas pleasure scrub down with a sandpapery glove, which which serve as wings of the proscenium.’

The 1/4 cup julienned green mango — aechor in Bengali, kathal in Hindi, tari in Hindi).

The sweet jelly-like hearts are a polymorphously.

‘The hiss of steam, thepalakkai clink in was actually like a carpenter’s randha (plane) speculum or the proctoscope is a diagnostic Sprigs of mint Tamilshe — that ecru-fleshed precursor summer treat, but I would have never thought of a cup, waswonderful a certain hour of the night being applied to my skin relentlessly.

I could dildo.

The physician, even so, must perform Dressing of using them in a salad, and that too with and the promise of rest.’ swear that thin of the epidermis the examination without profaning it. Ditto 3tbsp oliveshavings oil such happy results. cubes held At this point, one is compelled to state an were falling offlemon with every for the masseuse, exceptThe thatpulpy she can’t use thetheir 1tbsp juice heave. It was intenown against the cucumber and tomatoes, Honey and to tasteit ended. endemic prejudice that inflames the North In- sely pleasurable thesalt moment physician’s etiquette of disregard to subli- and 1 Carefully peelwhen the thin dressing oil, to crème dian imagination: that the varied and various That being the case, oneyellowcan feel the matethe theFrench sexuality of the (vinegar, situation.olive She has covering palm hearts Godand mustard and while seasonings), low-key eastern young women (anyone remotely pa- glabrous brown inner skin thighs of a Vietnamese keepfraîche, it studiedly asexual appearing as on slice into chunks. purpose, ensuredtothe leo-Mongoloid in appearance) are in some dess in shorts against one’s flanks while being though she is devoted thesubtle client’sflavours body. of the 2 Cook prawns in salted water for a palmthis heart were notgood drowned by the way or the other sexually permissive, availa- given a rubdown with hibiscus oil, with the I know isn’t a very analogy.

Forother the elefew minutes till opaque. Cool. ments of the ensemble. ble, promiscuous and purchasable. And that ghost of Phuong in the background, one does woman in stirrups, the pelvic examination is a 3 Make a dressing by whisking Sometimes, all it takes to make a simple all of them are in a state of continuing depi- wish for together the action to somehow move to the Sadeian narrative.

For me, the state of affairs at olive oil, lemon juice, honey meal the pluck to Itake seasonlated grace for the delectation of their pa- mezzanine have what is known a happy the end of exciting it was soistranquil that was local a gormandand salt; make sure it’s not as too tart. veggies mass and fruits out of their traditional trons. That’s why (the prejudice goes on to denouement. lesslyalblinking of protoplasm.

4 Gently toss palm hearts, papaya, roles and toss them into salads. mango and admirable prawns in the dovetail with empirical evidence), in India, What was truly wasdressing. that she Chill.

Garnish with mint serve. any asatwik@gmail.com women from the liberal Northeastern hills are didn’t have to ask permission forand touching arundhati ray is a Kolkata-based writer

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Ambarish Satwik is a Delhi-based vascular surgeon and writer

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The truth is out there

Support system A recruitment drive at Delhi’s Dargah Shahe-Mardan ; (below) a sheaf of volunteer forms kamal narang

CREATURE FEATURE

Bee-eater

The myth of the Yeti hasn’t given up its ghost Aon Mohammad, 24, Saharanpur, narang UP, volunteer yet. Researchers have found nokamal evidence to prove the abominable snowman doesn’t exist

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n the autumn of 1958, Tintin yielded DNA evidence. These were heads to the snow-capped traced back to known species of mountains of Tibet, accompa- mammals — cows, horses, raccoons, nied by the faithful Snowy, a dogs, wolves and even one human harried Captain Haddock and a fear- “of likely European matrilineal ful Sherpa. Looking for their friend descent”.

Chang, who disappears after a plane While there is no sign of the while ago, I was asked these helpers may help at several crash, they encounter the “abomin- mythical Yeti yet in the findings, in what my favourite bird is. nests. This generosity begins to able snowman”, the “pithecan- two of the samples from Ladakh and Bilal, 33,there Delhi,isspokesperson I took some time to con- make sense when we learn that thropic pickpocket” who purloinsSyed Bhutan, evidence of DNA seand volunteer kamal narang sider the question, but these species of bee-eaters live in litthe good captain’s flask of whiskey. quences from polar bears that my answer has since been unwa- tle joint-families, or ‘clans’. Each After a few such run-ins, they find match samples taken earlier vering — bee-eaters. Why bee-eaters? clan comprises a few pairs plus sevthat the Himalayan terror is just a 6,400km away on the Arctic island Because of their brilliant colours, eral unpaired or non-breeding indimisunderstood creature with a of Svalbard, and have no resemtheir lovely swooping flight, and the viduals that assist in raising others’ heart that’s as big as his hairy head. blance to modern examples of the endearing manner in which they offspring. Individuals join a clan eiA new research on the genetic species. The Ladakh sample smash insects against tree branches ther by being born into it, or by roots of the Yeti has found the came from an animal or electricity wires, thus ridding ‘matrimony’, inducted into the clan most credible evidence so far shot 40 years ago by a bees of their stings before eating of the individual they pair up with, from Ladakh, which borders hunter, who reported them. Soon after declaring bee-eat- in time, leading to clans of closely Tibet, and cites Captain that its behaviour was ers as my favourite feathered crean the past week, nearlyrelated 600 Indians have and individuals their mates. trip to Iraq, and BilalHaddock’s appears to be“ungulate” at the forevery different from tures, I learnt yet another reason been brought back from Iraq on char- ought classification of the YeThis social structure frontto ofsound the movement.

Apart from enlisting the brown bears, a that validated mytered choice — bee-eatflights.

The Ministry of External ti inin itsLucknow, footnotes. familiar to you.Af-Onethe can almost help of its branches Bangalore familiar species in ers live in some offairs the most complex (MEA) is preparing to turning evacuate legends of imagine on the television to amongThe and Mumbai, others, the outfit also those parts. The Mohammad Ali, 19, Muzaffarnagar, societies known in birds.

10,000 othersAnd stillthese stranded in the conflictthe forYeti, the flight. watch Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Thiarranged claimsBahu it has a chartered Bhutan sample UP, volunteer kamal narang was recovered societies are built like it did when the first Gulf—War the“All we’re torn country, North American from MoBee-Eater waiting for is permission around the broke simplest out in 1990. theBilal.

Edition. diji, and we’ll be on Bigfoot, our way,” says from a bamof nests, nothing Meanwhile in Delhi, Anjuman-e-Haidari,Does a a joint-family Russian Almas- operation, The logistics of such a large-scale forest, As we flip through the sheafboo of volunteer more than holes dug Shia organisation, claims Indi- however, ty or the moment, Sasexplain seem why unclear at the as also forms, we stumble upon the name identified by Ashish KuOne can nearly almost30,000 structure in the sand. ans have signedimagine up as volunteers to take the quatch helpers help?

It does, the agenda for ‘work’ in Iraq.

“We are not golocals as the mar — a rather unusual recruit for a holy Shia turning on A solitaryflight bee-eatthe other the waytelevision round. The is consider cryptid if you ing there why to fight but only tohave protect our holy mission. “I see humanitariannest of in a migyvalue this,” toAnjuman er’s nest issupposedly easy to the only organisation in the world around organisms reproduce shrines and help outbeen people in need. We want says Kumar, 32, a resident of south hur, Delhi’s the BhutaEast watch Kyunki Saas miss, unlesstoyou hap- suchBhi launch anKabhi initiative.

While a majority since the in the first place. to provide first-aid and help in any other way nese version of of Kailash neighbourhood.

“I’m a ‘hardcore’ Bahu Thi — pen to spotofanthose adultwho have enrolled for it — menFrom and the 19th centu-we will form a Hindu, there’s no doubt aboutthe weperspective can but, most importantly, Yeti. that.

ButSurpriswhen I the Bee-Eater Edition flying into women its unrefrom all walks of life — are fromofthe ry.the Butshrines cryp- in Karbala, if heard of this, I thought if Iingly, evolution bychain natu-around human thebandage Ladakh get to markable Shia hole.sect,Ifthere are Sunnis and even a couple tozoology,them,” he says. ralof selection, orga-try to desecrate the terrorists were someone or help out those strands in trouble it’ll be you’re lucky,Hindus you may on the list as well. which nisms reproduce to Ali, 19, Mohammad from is Mu-the golden-brown and good. Everyone lives for themsee them dartAs briefly news of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria foris animals ensure zaffarnagar the persistin Uttarsearch Pradesh, the Bhutanese hair selves nowadays.

I feel you have into their nest openings and quickly (ISIS) destroying holy Shiaence sites trickles in, in future whose is not of their genes not asgeneraarticulate as Bilal.existence But was reddish-brown. to do something for society.” Kuflick out some sand withcommunity their feet. fear many in the that But Karbala es- inherit such as the Ye- flip“Absence tions. since—you whenhalf we your tell Ali andproven, a few others This an discovery has mar also shares obscure story of evidence As we through the But many species ofthe bee-eaters pecially shrine oflive Hussain Ibn Ali, theeach mostparent ti,arethe genes from anddargah there-that we at the hereChupacabra to produced a compliof a Rajput king travelling to is not evidence of sheaf of volunteer in huge colonies, numerous reveredtheir site for Shias after Mecca andhalf Medina cats, fore share your genes eachtheir and talk with about plans,phantom they cated puzzle; as war The help fighters during the holy forms for the absence” holy nest-holes pock sandytoo. cliffThesibling, — ismarking under threat Iraqi government never ac- mission, we your own reproduction isn’t intohas quickly change a white pull-been Shia of Karbala,Guardian only to arrivereported, too late. faces, packed denselyup that one around hassostepped security cepted as a properstumble scithe onlythe waymonuto propelover some yournot unlike ofof sorts, a pheran, “It’s a dim memory of An episode that he clearly hopes upon the wonders why the and cliffsIran don’t ments has colreportedly sent in the armed entific discipline.

And Ashish Kumar genes into futurewith — you thecould words ‘Volunteers for sexual ento re-enactimprobable almost a millennium name lapse. nest serves as last forcesEach for their protection far, only helpmonth. a family member Iraq’reproduce inked in red, inso English and two amcounters in the Siberlater, but well on time. a nursery toDelhi, the chicks of 33, Back in Syed Bilal, a softwareinstead. engi- This researches have speculated ian past”. successfully logic is esUrdu.

“Hum shaheedbiguous honge (we’ll Among the women who plan a single pairand of bee-eaters, but forpecially neer spokesperson the Anjuman, as when on says anomalous compelling timesmartyrs),” are become Ali, primates or the Yeti.

Despite the lack of hard evidence, to accompany Kumar and the if you watch many differwell ashow a volunteer for the trip, says, “Our In what the “first ever systematic therest tough and youcamaren’t likely repro- on the whentoquizzed risksisenresearch, published in Altaf, the Proof the party is Asma 23, ent individuals leave stunt. paign isenter not aand publicity feel it is ouryourself survey”, of researchduceI successfully before tailed.— One of threegenetic siblings, Ali hasa team been in of the Royal to Society B telelast a residentceedings of Srinagar.

Speaking us over a nest, you’ll find that more obligation protect by months geneticist Bryan of Altaf you’ve to found a mate, for theinstance, Capital or for the ers pastled few after he C Sykes week, theready two to Himaphone, says,claims “We arethat always save than two adults can act as partheseinsites Karbala Oxford University have traced yearsinwhen food isgraduated scarce, orfrom if school.

“I live near the dargah layan samples could “contribute to ourthe religion; and whatever happens is god’s ents to a single clutch. Who are and your Najaf.chicks Whengetthey of 30 hairIfsamples eaten by a ravenous now and do what is origin required of me. the bestattributed the saving biological foundation of the Yeti will. For me, these monuments is cruthese birds, and why do they helpallow other humanito goanomalous snake before they leave nest. thingthe to do now is to and protectprimates.

Karbala, Two especially as reported by cial.”ofShe legend, also believes that if, there is a 60 per raise someone else’s offspring? tarian groups to go, IraiseI’m these samples from Helping relatives their chicks ready to do it,” says the30young man.discovered,cent theof hunter shota view the Ladakh chance making who it to Iraq; echoed More curious than thedon’t see why weensures can’t Ladakh and belongbytomany a of successfully that least His at friend Aon Mohammad, 24, Bhutan, a commerce specimen, they behave more the other hopefuls.

Bilal isaggresmore mere presence of help- be some sent?” he genes asks, make long-lostalso Paleolithic Ur- sively of your it intofrom the Saharanpur, graduate in UP, is polar even bear, towards humans than known hopeful: “We will consider entering Iraq ers is the fact that, in when meet him atalbeit susBut maritimus. nextwegeneration, indirectly. more sure of himself. his reasons for pack- through Turkey, indigenous bear PredictSyria or Iranspecies.” in case we can’t some species, the Theasproject in to 2012,fly when It’sDargah not quiteShah-eas good as raising your ing his bags remain just unclear.began “I’d like ably, the scientific community has in directly.”

Mardan in the but Jor isn’t were invited to he submit But hair with own offspring, that exactly frompeople save humanity the terrorists of ISIS,” made light of such preliminary findSyed Akbaruddin, spokesperson Bagh samples of agree, unknown whatarea. you hope you can on and my says.count “I think, parents thatprimates the forthat ings, but as the Sykes, who will release the MEA, making government’s standa The for Anjuman, be the Yeti.

OfI don’t the 57 samples family — to help you the holymake shrines need tocould be protected and if book on the fall and clear on the subject at aYetis pressthis briefing onhead June one most vo- go now, I can’t live with received, 20 In were discarded bestofofthe a bad situation? myself. some ways, after to the Himalayas after, writes the 26 —an “Indian nationals are advised not tointravcal Shia groups in we are all born to die, initial microscopic so whymacroscopic, not die for some“Absence of evidence is not el to Iraq. paper, That applies to every Indian nationambikaiskamath studiesgood.” organis-Mohammad the country, go- thing and infrared examination. expects to spend up The evidence of absence”. al” —rethe road to Karbala is not an easy one. evolutionary biology at ing all mic outand to maining samples to ₹70,000 for the trip, and 37 hopes that were Anju-subjected arasupriyanka kotamraju recruit for Harvard the University to aof genetic analysis, and 30 ofsibi them man will cover the rest the expenses.

Meet the colourful avian that lives in some of the most complex societies

A Mission Karbala

While the government is busy bringing back Indian citizens from Iraq, volunteers of Anjuman-e-Haidari are hoping to head in the opposite direction

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saturday, july 12,12, 2014 saturday, july 2014

A Cetacean saga

More importantly, the Budget proposed that the National Rural Employment Guarantee Act (NREGA), which assures a minimum of 100 days’ work to every rural household, has to be revamped. While the previous government increased NREGA allocation by 10 per cent to ₹33,000 crore last fiscal, the Modi government has raised it by just 1 per cent to or 25-year-old Alexander Ek, the seventh time’s the crore. mong the spoils of war that Russia side without ₹33,300 being given a choice. Part of a charm. After six name changes — one was a failed So far, NREGA meant giving got their hands on in the Crimean secret military operation to train dolphins attempt to win a rent-free apartment in Berlin — Alexandconvert wages, to rural conflict, there are a few ‘non-hu- and “developemployment, new devices that dolander has finally settled on this 63-word long moniker, workers irrespective of the qualiman persons’ that Kiev says phins’ sonar detection of targets into a sigSteps to curb soon to be the longest name in the world: Kim-Jong or find necessity of divers,” the workthe done. were taken to the other nalfood as well astyto enemy inflation andprogramme, offload Sexy Glorious Beast Divine Dick Father Lovely Iron Man But notwas anymore.

“It will be linkwhich a Soviet-era initiagrains will cause Even Unique Poh Un Winn Charlie Ghora Khaos Mehan edwayside to agriculture-related activtive, farm fell by the in the ’90s. It is also incomes to fall Hansa Kimmy Humbero Uno Master Over Dance Shake ities,” Minister Arun one of only two suchFinance programmes in the Bouti Bepop Rocksteady Shredder Kung Ulf Road Jaitley world, the other in has San said.

Diego, serving the House Gilgamesh Flap Guy Theo Arse Hole Im Yoda The Economic Survey US Navy. The Russians though are in noalso Funky Boy Slam Duck Chuck Jorma Jukka Pekka Ryan pointed the need to ‘prevent mood to return theirto latest navy recruits Super Air Ooy Rusell Salvador Alfons Molgan Akta Papa the NREGA, whichand has abeen cited as andmisuse’ have bigofplans for them, Russian Long Nameh Ek. Or Papah Long Nameh in short. He anews major reasoneven behind the recent price rise. channel reported that “serious doesn’t always get his mail, his bills turn up too late, The daily wages under preparation the scheme is vary from investment in dolphin now but Alexander has his eyes on another prize — a trip to ₹153 Meghalaya to ₹227 in Chandigarh. on theincards.”

North Korea for the Kim-Jong in his name.

Now, the wages will depend on asset creation.

This means a check on the almost unhindered dole-out for rural workers. This, in turn, will adversely affect rural spending power.

“Indicators suggest a further slowdown (in rural consumption). For the last one year, there has been some slowdown and quarterly results have been showing stress in volume growth,” says Dhananjay head of renternet altruism seems to have taknothing.

Perhaps Sinha, fresh mayonnaise search at Emkay Global Services. en a turn for the ridiculous. After and some dill,Financial but that’s all. The Sales‘stretch volumegoals’ growth India’s raising funds for video games, films — for HUL, $100 he will largest try out FMCG company, hasfor fallen to he’ll four live per cent in two recipes; $1000 stream and journalism, Kickstarter has outrecent survey conducted by the Author’s LicensDecember fromfor 10 per centhe’ll two years done itself on a new project: potato salthe 2014 process; $3,000 inviteago. the ing and Collection Society, UK and Queen Mary, “This trend mayto beareinforced,” heparty adds.—HUL ad. Last week, Zack Brown took to internet potato salad on University of London has found that for authors in the faces a his slowing marketthat growth, both by volKickstarter to fund his ambitious $10 page reveal he had no inkling United Kingdom, writing is becoming an ever-decreasume and across categories. of value, the enthusiastic online reception. potato salad. With 20 more days to go, ing source of income. While the minimum income avThe MSP rice hasgot been increased only by Nowfor that he’s more than $40,000, he has received nearly $50,000 from erage in the UK is £16,850, authors stand to make not 3.8 per cent year, compared with thefor 9 per more than 5,000 backers. What’s spehe isthis considering making hats his more than £11,000 per year. This is a drop of nearly 30 cent a year on average since 2007-08. cial about this potato salad? Absolutely nextincrease crowdfunded campaign. per cent since the last survey, which was conducted in This means a rice-growing farmer’s income 2005. Also, quite understandably the number of auwould have increased by nearly 50 per cent in thors whose only source of income was writing has the last five years. The government is now uncome down to 11 per cent, as compared to 40 per cent willing to be as generous with the MSP hike. in the previous survey. If these figures are anything to By increasing the minimum export price of go by, then maybe it is time to put those novel dreams onion by 67 per cent to $500 per tonne, the f there has been a saviour for India Inc af- rural India led the consumption party — offer- government has made it difficult for farmers back into the closet? ter the 2008 Lehman crisis, it has been ing hope to corporates in the doldrums. to profit from exports. This limits the earning rural India. While urban dwellers were But going by the Modi government’s recent opportunity for onion growers too. struggling with pay cuts, pink slips and a decisions and the below-normal monsoons so Jaitley said during the Budget speech that nose-diving stock market, nearly six lakh vil- far, the rural growth story mayustslow down the government shall Strike undertake open market weeks after the second Cormoran novel, JK Rowling lages were busy rejoicing bountiful harvest af- sooner than later. Additionally,has the annual sales (of agricultural products) to keep prices returned as Daily Prophet hack Rita Skeeter with a scoop on ter good monsoons, rapidly rising minimum Budget has called for reforming urea prices under control.

Harry Potter and the rest of Dumbledore’s Army. Back at the Quidsupport price (MSP) for crops and steady cash- and for targeted subsidies. While Budget “If isthe goes aggressively after ditchthe World Cup, Harry 34,government a top-secret auror with the Ministry expenditure, flow from the government’s rural employ- offers 13 per cent growth in total containing food inflation and couples this of Magic and starting to go grey. His marriage to Ginny, the gosment guarantee scheme. From buying bikes rural development will receive only 6.7 per with offloading grains (in the market), then sip-loving journalist speculates, is on the rocks. Ron Weasley has and tractors to fairness creams and noodles, cent more, at around ₹80,000lost crore. realisable income at thegoing farm-level willfamily start a bit of his hair and his Ministry job, into the That means the cash flow willis, start joke shop businessreducing. instead. His know-it-all wife Hermione exreducing,” Sinha. While the crowds are pectedly, doing rather well at says the Ministry.

Andatthat impact ruralwrites consumpstill eager to get a look thewould ‘Chosen One’, the Skeeter of a tion Thecheek, looming possibility of drought mysterious new cut onstory.

Harry’s besides the famous lightis further back? likely Well, to slow ning bolt. Is You-Know-Who wedown can’t rural say if consumpthere will tion, but butSkeeter’s will nottell-all stop it altogether.

“While be another Potter book biography of the ‘imdrought may become a reality this year, it is perfect’ Dumbledore’s Army will be out this month. not impossible to find one extra customer in While rationalist Narendra Dhabolkar spent a every village. Moreover, the rural economy is great part of his life crusading against belief in not only about farming. There are others supblack magic and was even murdered for that, porting the economy — teachers, artisans, investigating officers of his case apparently weavers and many others,” says Mayank Padecided to take recourse in these very superreek, COO at Maruti Suzuki. And he has anothstitions. The then Pune police commissioner er reason to be upbeat. “People in rural areas Gulabrao Pol allegedly called in retired police have accumulated wealth in the last five years.

When it rains... constable Manish Thakur, whose skill sets inThere is resilience if the incomes have inConsumer goods cluded proficiency in black magic. A local daicreased by 50 per cent in five years,” he adds. found eager buyers in ly reported that “In the commissioner’s office, Idea Cellular, which has built a strong televillages flush with cash several séances were conducted in which Thacom business in rural areas, remains optimisfrom bumper harvests kur would invoke the spirit of Dhabolkar to tic too. “These are measures with long-term and job guarantee give details of the murder.” The case has now benefit. In the short term, there may be some schemes bloomberg/ prashanth vishwanathan; been handed over to the CBI. hiccups, but these measures are required as a (top) farmers process bitter pill for a sweeter future,” says Idea CMO mustard seeds in Sashi Shankar.

Alwar district,

What’s in a name?

While annexing Crimea, the Russians also took along combat dolphins.

Ukraine wants them back

A shot at a world record, or a trip to North Korea

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Death by writing

The internet loves potato salad

Question: Who says a writer doesn’t make any money?

Answer: Writers

Kickstarter project achieves its goal, 4,000 times over

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Shopping drought ahead?

The lack of any budget sops adds to rural India’s woes

The Boy Who Lived lives

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JK Rowling offers a glimpse into Harry Potter’s adult life

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Irony much

To catch the killers of an anti-superstition crusader, Pune police called in a black magician to ‘guide them’

Rajasthan afp/sajjad hussain

rashmi pratap

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cornerstone in-faq by joy bhattacharjya A quiz on rain

1

Petrichor, a word first coined in 1964 by two Australian researchers, is a phenomenon most of us strongly associate with childhood and growing up. Define it.

2

Sadie Thomson (1928), starring Gloria Swanson, Rain (1932), a Joan Crawford film, and Miss Sadie Thomson (1953), which featured Rita Hayworth in the title role, all tell the story of a prostitute, Sadie Thomson, and a conflicted missionary. These films were based on the same short story Rain. Who wrote it?

3

Cherrapunji is no longer the wettest place in the world. That credit now belongs to Mawsynram, a town about 16km away. In which Indian state would you find both towns?

4

World Cup football and rain, both topical.

This particular World Cup football final was played in pouring rain, and the runaway favourites lost to the underdogs. Two reasons were attributed: the first being that the captain of the winning side, a certain Mr Walter, played his best football in these conditions, and the second that the Adidas boots used by the winning side had the option of interchangeable studs, which could be adapted to all conditions.

Which year was it? Which were the two teams?

5

Now for the cricket World Cup. In 1992, the eventual champions, Pakistan, were within a hair’s breath of being knocked out of the tournament when they were bowled out for 74.

Fortunately for them it started raining soon after the opposition started batting and they shared points and lived to fight another day.

Who were their opponents?

the new york times crossword-1020

taken to task

6

In the 1930s, a certain Gabriel Pascal introduced two famous phonetic exercises.

One was ‘In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen’. The other line has attained cinematic immortality! What is the other line and in which film were you likely to have heard it?

7

In which film do you see Amitabh Bachchan and Moushomi Chatterjee traipsing around in the Mumbai rain to the strains of ‘Rim Jhim Gire Sawan’?

8

Silver iodide, potassium iodide and dry ice are the three most common chemicals used for which specific purpose? The last major occasion they were used was the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.

9

This 1984 Prince-starrer is puzzlingly regarded as both a cult classic and one of the worst films ever made, and was nominated for quite a few Razzies. However, the music album of the same name has gone platinum 13 times over and is regarded as a modern classic. Name the film or the album.

10

Which award-winning novel of the ’90s is named after a poem from the Kuruntokai by the Sangam poet Sembula Peyaneerar and was inspired by the autobiography of the AngloIndian soldier James Skinner?

Answers 1. It’s the distinctive scent which accompanies the first rain after a warm dry spell. Unmistakable!

2. Somerset Maugham 3. Meghalaya (appropriately!)

4. 1954, Germany and Hungary. The German captain was Fritz Walter 5. England, whom they eventually defeated in the finals.

6. ‘The rain in Spain stays mostly in the plain,’ from the film My Fair Lady. Both these Pascal lines featured in the original GB Shaw play Pygmalion 7. Manzil 8. Cloud seeding, to cause rain (the Chinese used them to clear pollution and to make sure it didn’t rain during the Opening Ceremony) 9. Purple Rain 10. Red Earth and Pouring Rain by Vikram Chandra

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joy bhattacharjya is a quizmaster, director Kolkata Knight Riders and author of Junior Premier League — The First XI. t@joybhattacharj

ACROSS 1 Treats, as a bow 7 Org. for lab safety?

12 Inits. for cinephiles 15 QB datum 18 G. P. ___ (early book publisher) 19 Layered 20 Refined resource 21 Name-dropper’s word?

22 Movie franchise since 1996 25 Crosswords, e.g., in the 1920s 26 Like bourbon barrels 27 Grp. with a caduceus 28 Metaphor for obsolescence 30 Setting for “Mork & Mindy” 35 Kind of raid 36 Playing 37 Rideshare rides 38 Whistle-blowers?

40 One of three stars in the Summer Triangle 42 One of a race in Middle-earth 43 Painter’s deg.

45 Caroline du Sud, e.g.

46 Publisher’s entreaty 48 Some wraps 50 Sonata starters

53 Plant whose seed is sold as a health food product 55 Twin of Jacob 56 Actress Sorvino 57 Cat’s resting place, maybe 58 “Gilligan’s Island” castaway 61 When doubled, a sad sound effect 62 No longer exists 63 “Be My Yoko ___” (Barenaked Ladies single) 64 When doubled, a hit song of 1965 and 1989 65 Porter 67 ’50s duds 69 Carry or iron follower 70 Bupkis 71 Overcast 72 AARP concern 73 Pub offering 75 NATO member?: Abbr.

76 Pub offerings 77 Not even close 78 Eponym of a Southern “-ville” 79 Sport using xisteras 81 Word with solar or sound 83 Bide one’s time

86 Beverages in bowls 87 Apple variety 88 Jaw 90 Doozy 92 Went off?

95 Isle where Macbeth is buried 96 Film bit 97 Score abbr.

98 Violation of the first and second laws of thermodynamics 103 Achieve 105 Just what the doc ordered?

106 Go cold turkey 107 That, in Tabasco 108 Underdog’s saying 114 Personal digits: Abbr.

115 ___ the Eagle (a Muppet) 116 Date for New Year’s Day 117 Barely get 118 Kicker’s prop 119 Draft org.

120 Paintball mementos 121 Animal with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

DOWN 1 Tach readout 2 “Bien sûr!”

3 Some map lines: Abbr.

4 Feared red state 5 Nymph of Greek myth 6 Fire sign 7 Intention 8 Floral components 9 Teaser 10 ___ Millan aka the Dog Whisperer 11 Some teasers 12 Additionally 13 In the 70s, say 14 Shakespeare heroine 15 Programming problem 16 In the vicinity of 17 Singer Pendergrass and others 19 Jalopies 23 Daredevil’s asset 24 “… and ___ it again!”

29 Sharon’s predecessor 30 Beachgoer’s pride, informally 31 Doozy 32 ___ Independent Press Awards 33 In transit 34 [sigh] 39 Coldblooded 41 Joy of TV 43 [air kiss]

44 Something you might get shot for?

47 Red or white vessel 49 “It can’t wait!”

50 Place where many screens may be set 51 “___ Voices” (best-selling New Age album) 52 Imagine, informally 54 Peace Nobelist Sakharov 56 Much mail to mags 58 Rapper Nicki 59 Helen Keller brought the first one to the U.S. 60 First publisher of Hunter S. Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” 62 It’s a challenge 66 ___ in cat 67 Proof-ending word 68 Hindu title of respect 72 Hypothetical words 74 Little confabs 76 Red Scare target 77 Philosopher Rand

80 Main line 81 ___ City (Baghdad area) 82 Hand holder 84 “Eat, Pray, Love” locale 85 “Worst car of the millennium,” per “Car Talk” 87 “___ hand?”

89 Onetime Krypton resident 91 Lick 92 Brief 93 Actually 94 Fits 95 Sweater’s line?

99 Trim 100 Discharge 101 Normand of the silents 102 Stomping grounds for Godzilla 104 H H H H 109 “It can’t wait!”

110 Prevailing party 111 Talking-___ 112 French pronoun 113 Tours summer

By Jeff Chen/ Edited by Will Shortz

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