Blink issue 60 march21 2015

SEEKING NEVERLAND Telangana Chief Minister K Chandrasekhar Rao’s pursuit of all things vaastu compliant draws ak p2 saturday, march 21, 2015

Revellers celebrate Holi at Manikarnika ghat in Varanansi pti

The poets of Varanasi insult politicians, officials, even deities, every Holi. The stuff that makes for scandal in a squeamish India is just old-fashioned humour here p9

Kosher in Kashi

APPLES VIA BLUETOOTH Green groceries now reach your doorstep all souped-up and ready for the plate p4

CURTAIN OF WHITE A hike in Norway reveals a mysterious vantage point to view a waterfall p19

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What next? Musing on the transition of the Indian team in the post-Tendulkar age, Bhattacharya’s conclusion is inscrutable and indecipherable kr deepak

House of horrors?

Telangana Chief Minister K Chandrasekhar Rao’s attempts to colour his official duties with his personal beliefs draw flak

A TV point of view A look at Indian cricket post Tendulkar — suspended somewhere in between, devoid of perspective that comes from distance and inside knowledge that comes from proximity

IT

Dark arts of governance Claiming that the Secretariat building in Hyderabad does not follow vaastu norms, the Telangana government is officially jittery about the n cricket stadiums world, maleficent implications for the around new Statethe and wants to build a new seatmagnitude of power pv sivakumar ume and rarely seen in sport beAfter more than 200 pages, musing on the

After Tendulkar: The New Stars of Indian Cricket Soumya Bhattacharya Aleph ₹495

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there is usually a divide between the scribeheand theand fan.maharajas The press is invetrajas ofthe yore had eratetheir Brahmin in of thecourt house, a privileged coterie jesters, astrololot lordinggers, overvaastu the spectator their airadvisersfrom et al to confer conditioned box. assumption is that crickwith at The every stage of governance. et In journalists — mostly men, seated in their post-Independence India, astrology’s ivory towers are the somehow above the ordisway over the—rich, powerful and common nary fan.alike Moreremains often than not, the contrary is people undiminished.

Vaastu, true.

Many long-timers onasthe cricket beat, in particular, has emerged a game-changer with thousands of kilometres on thesector. clock, The are in the highly lucrative real-estate jaded andcut have little society, insight with to offer.

Onfaith the believers across their other hand,in many fans in the are often seemingly proportion to stands the power they deeply knowledgeable, solely by affecwield or the size of theirdriven business holding. tion for the gamewhat and without the pomposity Nonetheless, K Chandrasekhar Rao, and self-importance thatoftends to overtake the first chief minister Telangana, did a many Yet in Indian cricket, monthveteran ago willjournalists. likely go down the annals of despite global phenomenon it is, has promodern,the democratic India as a dubious first of duced fewnamed equivalents NickSuddala Hornby Sudhaor the sorts. He vaastuof expert late David Foster Wallace; fans whoWing can kar Teja as an advisor to thepure Architecture describe their passion for theDepartment. sport with the of the Building and Planning delicacy of art.

The government order, dated February 12, This that is one ofappointment the reasons why Bhatstates his wasSoumya necessitated tacharya’s first book, You Must like Cricket? a because the wing was understaffed after is the gust of freshof air.

A memoir the Indian crickbifurcation the erstwhileofAndhra Pradesh. et fan, doesn’t eschew emotion nor science does it KCR’sit obsession with this disputed bother with the feigned expertise thatover cricket has been evident ever since he took the journalists spout. While notJune quite reins of theroutinely newly formed State on 2, Hornbyesque, You Must… illustrates an impor2014. He inspected bungalow after bungalow tant truth: to be ahis fanofficial of Indian cricket is not to before picking residence-cum-ofnecessarily thought. fice, or Campabandon Office as they call it.Bhattacharya He reluctanthas also followed up his offering a ly agreed to occupy theinitial ‘jinxed’ Campwith Office slimmer second You Can’t built about nine volume, years agoAll byThat the then ConLeave a variation the minister same theme. gress Behind, Government for itson chief YS RaWhile the first two werewas obsessed by jasekhara Reddy.

Thebooks building branded what is now India’s circles previous generation ‘unlucky’ in political after the death of cricketers — Ganguly, Dravid, Tendulkar, KumYSR in a helicopter crash, which was followed ble, Laxman — inKAfter Tendulkar, on by his successor Rosaiah losinghis histhird job and the Bhattacharya turns his gaze towards thesport, bifurcation of the State. theInnew crop of stars. undivided AP, astrology and vaastu comAs is amply clear fromdevotion the title,ofBhattachmanded the unalloyed political arya’s reference point is the retirement of Tenbigwigs.

The charismatic and all-powerful NT dulkar, among a great Rama Raothe wentgreatest on to reward his personal asconstellation of cricketers, late 2013. seat trologer, BV Mohan Reddy,inan assembly Bhattacharya takes offafrom Tendulkar’s last and later anointed him minister. twoNot Tests, impassioned farewellReddy, of a volfar an behind was M Channa the

fore, interspersing the narrative with the transition of the Indian team in the post-Tensketches India’s new stars who powerfulofCongress (I) leader whohad wasbegun twice dulkar age, His Bhattacharya’s conclusion is inSecretariat. decision attracted widespread appearing on the horizon as vaastu Tendulkar pre- scrutable CM. He placed his trust in the architect as ittwo is indecipherable: “…the hub of criticism on counts — shifting the hospital pared to bidAnother goodbye.

BN Reddy.

Congress leader and for- this is the besttoset of young70km players we fromteam the city centre Vikarabad, away; It isunion an interesting approach; problem, have. mer minister, the leadingthe industrialist It is hard to the lookexisting beyondSecretariat them. Thison is and abandoning as cricketers would is in the execution.

T Subbarami Reddysay, temporarily gave up his what we have.

It is either this or nothing. And unscientific grounds.

The rise of India’s cricket stars makes luxury home on thenew advice of his vaastu ex- nothing so much aworse.”

“He isisholding Constitutional position for a fascinating tale: it is the story of KIndia itpert.

The journalist-turned-politician Kesava Elsewhere facts sacrificed to hyperbole, and can’t bring hisare personal beliefs into it. It is self the small-town andRashtra ambi- aundemocratic Rao,and currently with KCR’smobility Telangana usual malaise and of Indian cricket against the writing. spirit of the tion engendered by many the country’s economic Samithi, went in for vaastu-led changes Constitution,” Describing the moment Kohli occupied the says G Haragopal, a civil rights liberalisation.

Unfortunately, Bhattacharya’s number to realise his political ambitions. fourpolitical slot, Tendulkar’s activist and scientist. revered batting profiles are flat,past cobbled together political second- position Putting every vaastu-inspired in Test matches, on the Indian tour of The State Government appears determined hand from various sources.

His move enthusishenanigan in thenews shade is KCR’s to South “Thegoing spot in to go Africa, ahead Bhattacharya with its plans.writes: “We are to asm what isfor sorely is which buildisaunmistakable; brand new building his lacking residence had Secretariat seen no onein else butyears. a certain build India the new two We the What and legwork. camp office at anprevents adjacent Bhattacharya site that cur- batsman since ₹200 beforecrore the Berlin Wall had fallhave allocated for this,” KCR assertfrom of Ranchi in search of en.” rentlyscouring houses the thelanes State’s intelligence office.

In truth, the Tendulkar occupied ed, ignoring growing protests.the number Dhoni’s origins?

Or spending time in west Del- four Even before the dust had settled over this conposition only in the fall of 1992 — three Castigating the Chief Minister’s attempts to hi, to gain insight intothe the attitroversial decision, Chief years after fall duties of thewith Berlin colour histhe official his tude of Virat Kohli?

Minister rolled up his sleeves Wall — batting at number six as late personal beliefs, Ponnala LakshIn got the down secondtoand secand the final job of corasmaiah, the Indian of Australia in Jathetour former president of tion, rectingBhattacharya the vaastu ofrecounts the very Facts are sacrificed to nuary that year. Pradesh Congress the Telangana How can he use the performance after seatteam’s of power.

Great sportssays books from the Committee, “We conducted hyperbole, a usual public money to Tendulkar’s retirement in Convinced that the decadesfan’s vantage are defined by a survey in point Hyderabad and over malaise Indian honourof his ‘vows’? what he describes as “their five old Secretariat “does not follow their primary material: Fan narra90 per cent of the city’s residents cricket writing key assignments Novaastu norms”, between he is jittery tives getopposed their singularity stohave the movefrom to shift vember and October about its2013 maleficent implicaries, disappointments and the Secretariat.”

2014”.

What is a chrontions for thefollows new State.

One of triumphs, of them an glimpsed Besidesall announcing annual ological, acthe roads series-by-series leading to the Secretariat on the donation offirsthand.

Bhattacharya’s ₹100 croreWhile for the development of count India’s tours Lake to South Africa, banks of Hussainsagar is believed to New be at first bookGutta, had a or freshness undiluted bySwamy pressYadagiri Lakshminarasimha Zealand and England the Asiafor Cup odds with vaastu and as is well beingasblamed all box scepticism, the novelty began toawear off temple, in Nalgonda, KCR has issued governand the World in Bangladesh. the troubles ofTwenty20 the past 20-25 years. No matter in his order second.

In After Tendulkar, the formula ment sanctioning a ₹5-crore ‘gold offerHowever, unlike,chief say minister the gripping Ashes that almost every till now has feels positively repetitive. ing’ to the Balaji temple in Tirupati, and funds tour diaries of Gideon Haigh that areout a deloyally followed the vaastu advice doled by forThe growing wealth offor thea local Indian middle a golden moustache deity and lightful blend or ofthe anecdote one siddhanti other. and the discern- class over the two decades has meant that nose-pins for past a couple of goddesses.

This “offiment that comes from watching theand game KCR’s Andhra Pradesh counterpart for- India has the most for formidable travelling supcial thanksgiving” making Telangana a refirsthand, Bhattacharya is encumbered by bemer mentor N Chandrababu Naidu proved no port.

Bhattacharya’s fandom seem of ality has drawn daggers fromdoesn’t political rivals. ing a distant, cursory observer.

That into may his be no different when he refused to move of- the regular stadium-going kind. to Hehonour seems, for “How can he use public money his bad itself; the problem thatmonths Bhatta- the fice thing at theinSecretariat for nearlyis five mostasks part,Ponnala a creature of the television. That ‘vows’?”

Lakshmaiah. charya neither has nor ₹10 is inclined towards the doesn’t and reportedly spent crore for a vaastudisqualify from abuse writing on Haragopal termsanyone it an outright of auhistorical long view of Mukul Kesavan or Ra- cricket. ready facility. the to book sadly illustrates, it thority. But, “We as need build a strong public machandra Guha.

After Tendulkar a book usually At the behest of vaastu experts, heisdeclined provide material forthegreat opinion doesn’t against such practices,” says prostrangely suspended somewhere in at between, to locate the temporary secretariat the Na- writing either. fessor, who is also at the head of the Save Eduwith neither the left-field garjuna University premises perspective near Guntur.that cation movement. comes distance the inside knowledge KCR from has chosen theor65-acre ‘Chest Hospital’ vaibhav sharma is the author of Triumph in Travels During Cricket World Cup kv kurmanath and mthe somasekhar that comes from proximity the game. new Bombay: at Sanatnagar as the site forto the proposed

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AGENDA

Digital India # Fail The Centre’s defence of Section 66A goes against the PM’s slogans of minimum government, maximum governance

sambuddha mitra mustafi

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n 2012, Narendra Modi, then positioning himself as opposition candidate for prime minister, changed his Twitter display picture to black. He was protesting the Congress-led government’s blockade of nearly 300 websites and some Twitter handles that were critical of the government.

“As a common man, I join the protest against crackdown on freedom of speech,” he tweeted. “Have changed my DP (display picture). Sabko sanmati de bhagwan (May God give good sense to everyone),” he added, with the hashtag #GOIBlocks.

Within three years though, Modi has done a complete volte-face on the issue of internet freedom. Last month in the Supreme Court, the government’s Additional Solicitor General argued for the continuance of the draconian Section 66A that gives the state power to jail citizens for up to three years for posting “grossly offensive” content online.

And guess who decides what is “grossly offensive” — our police who have little domain knowledge and have already misused the law against citizens several times. You would be forgiven for thinking that Kapil Sibal is still our Information and Technology minister and the UPA still in power.

Power and paradox But here is the paradox: the ‘liberal’ Congressled government passed a blatantly illiberal law, while we expect a BJP-led government to scrap it, going against its own conservative instincts. The reason for this apparently incongruous expectation is Narendra Modi — he is by far the most internet-vested politician that India has produced, one who has expertly exploited the power of new media to get votes.

On his official Facebook and Twitter pages Digital Fail India combined, Modi has over 40 million follow- India’s IT sector flourished in the last two decers. His direct online communication with the ades because it faced minimum state interfemiddle-class and youth played a major part in rence, unlike other sectors. Rent-seeking creating the “Modi wave”. He clearly has the government officials were ignorant of this early mover advantage and the biggest politi- greenfield sector, which ensured that firstcal stake in ensuring rapid expangeneration, honest entresion of the internet from its preneurs could build orroughly 250 million user base in ganisations that created India. This can only be hampered millions of jobs and put Why would an Indian by his government’s stand on SecIndia on the world map. entrepreneur create a tion 66A. Modi came up with the Facebook when he risks The Congress is Luddite in comDigital India campaign going to jail simply parison — it lost the social media and, in his speeches, talks because one policeman battle not just to the BJP, but to the about how Indians should may find a comment on upstart Aam Aadmi Party as well. create the next Facebook the platform ‘grossly Therefore the Congress, when in and Google. Yet, his govoffensive’? power, had a perverse incentive to ernment advocates the create fear and stop the proliferacontinuance of a law that tion of social media: it was helping will scare entrepreneurs, the Congress’ opponents more. It funders and innovation in was rational then to expect that the newly- the digital space. elected BJP government would want to scrap Why would an Indian entrepreneur try to Section 66A in its own self-interest, if not as a create a Facebook when he risks going to jail matter of conservative principle. simply because one vigilante and one policeSo, Section 66A flies against Modi’s mantra man may find a comment on the platform of “minimum government” which promised ‘grossly offensive’? How will an Indian build a to remove state interference. While the PM has Google when funders start staying away beoften focused on ease of doing business by cause of ill-conceived laws? minimising government procedures, his efBut the most lucid argument against interforts will come to naught if the state creeps up net censorship came from within the ranks of on us through such silly legislations. this government. Around the same time in

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Free the internet Members of Free Software Movement Karnataka (FSMK) protest the misuse of Section 66A k murali kumar

2012 when Modi’s Twitter handle was protesting against UPA’s high-handedness, Arun Jaitley gave a clairvoyant speech in the Rajya Sabha on the futility of online censorship.

“You can retrain and create an awe by censorship of print and electronic media,” he said, pointedly referring to the Emergency, “but you can never control the internet.”

A website can be built for almost no cost, by anybody with an internet connection who is willing to google ‘how to build a website’. This means that internet censors are playing a never-ending game of whack-a-mole, which they cannot win.

Jaitley, then the Leader of Opposition in the Upper House, also spelled out the problems with Section 66A in particular: words like ‘grossly offensive’, ‘menacing’, ‘blasphemous’ and ‘defamation’ could be used to curb freedom of expression.

If the top two leaders in this government are unwilling or unable to convince the additional solicitor general about their stand on internet freedom, then you have to wonder about the leadership deficit at the highest level. All said Section 66A of the IT Act is the exact opposite of Modi’s slogans: this is Digital Fail India; and this is maximum government, minimum governance. sambuddha mitra mustafi is the founder of The Political Indian

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Something to chew on Making marshmallows, the pillow-soft treats, is a badge of honour for the brave cook

Rose Marshmallow Makes 25-30 pieces 1/4 cup + 1/4 cup water 4 tsp gelatin 1 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup corn syrup 1/4 tsp rose extract Pink food colouring, according to preference 1/4 cup icing sugar 1/4 cup corn starch

1 In a large mixing bowl, pour 1/4 cup water and add the gelatin to it and let it soak until the sugar syrup is ready.

2 In a pan, heat 1/4 cup water, sugar and corn syrup on a low flame. Keep stirring until the sugar is melted (make sure this happens before it comes to a boil).

3 Once the syrup reaches 115°C, or the hardball stage, take it off the heat. Now pour the hot syrup in a thin stream into the gelatin mixture and start beating it with a beater set to medium-low.

4 Once the syrup is added, increase the speed to high, and beat it until stiff white and glossy. The volume will have doubled at this point. Add the essence and beat again. Now add the colour with a tooth pick or a skewer and swirl it in through Fresh take More than 90 per cent of the country’s ₹4.5-lakh-crore market for fruits and vegetables is unorganisedthe courtesy krishi naturals mixture.

5 Pour the mixture into a 7-inch square tin that has been lined with tin foil and greased with a thin layer of vegetable oil.

Let is set at room temperature for 5-6 hours.

6 Cut into 1 1/2 inch squares, and dust with the mixture of the cornstarch and icing sugar. Store in an airtight container.

Greengrocer revolution

The good old vegetable cart now comes equipped with GPS, Bluetooth and other gizmos, as a fresh bunch of start-ups connect e-savvy farmers directly to premium buyers in citiesaysha tanya

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s a food writer, it’s not too surprising that most of my childhood memories to revolve around ithseem a hoot, the green-andfood. If I hadthree-wheeled to pick three words to white electric sum up my childhood, they’donbethe pakoras, carts arrive streetsmeof ringue and marshmallow. mother’s homeBengaluruMyeach morning. made marshmallows coloured pink and Equipped with tablets,were Bluetooth printers blue of raspberries andgo pepperGPS, and thesetasted battery-operated carts from mint. birthday party, from agevegetables five until street Every to street selling fruits and well intofresh adolescence, featured these sourced from farms around thegummy, IT capimelt-in-the-mouth squares ofwarehouse, delight. each tal. Packed at the FreshWorld As much as I loved my mother’s marshmalitem has a price tag, buyers are given receipts lows, I couldn’t help but secretly wonder if I and the warehouse inventory is automatically was missing out by only having access to updated after every transaction. homemade marshmallow.

The white In Mumbai and its suburbs, fresh cylindriproduce cal ones thatPune made regular appearances in the from Nasik, and Sholapur reaches houseArchie comics childhood point holds by nine (my every morning.reference Harvested the for all things ‘cool’)the that were toasted overon a previous evening, produce is loaded fire had a caramel-y appeal that Ibycouldn’t trucks before midnight and arrives 3am at shake off. Several years later, the warehouse of Go4fresh in my Navichildhood Mumbai. dream of work eatingtill a store-bought marshmallow The staff 7.30am to clean, grade and was was relieved to find that packfulfilled the fruitsand andI vegetables, which customthese were rubbery, tasted ofbefore.

Styrofoam and ers have ordered online a day notAnd a patch on my mother’s delicateisvariety. in Vadodara, Ketan Parmar helping The history of thissell toothsome candy and is a farmers’ cooperatives their vegetables long stretchyinone.

In Egypt, honey milk toand households the city. whipped with the90 sap from As more than per centthe of marshmallow the country’s plant was servedfruit-and-vegetable as a sweet treat. Many centu₹4.5-lakh-crore market is ries later, the same mixed with sugar and unorganised, a newsap, movement is underway to egg came todirectly be usedto byconsumers, physicians as a takewhites, fresh produce miremedy for minor ailments in children like nus the intermediaries. coughs and colds.

In France, a version of the With rising incomes, consumers are willing marshmallow as we know it today, been to spend an extra buck to buy food has products around since the early 1800s when A marshmalthat promote health and wellness. report by

low sap was whipped and sold in confection- do this step without a candy thermometer. ery shops. However, as the industrial Have a little bowl of water (at room temperrevolution in,Technopak, the need however, to manufacture consultancyset firm observ- ature) next vending, to you, and dropping tiny od of street says keep FreshWorld founder these inindependent large quantities sawisthe useadequately of gelatin drops es that retail not of the syrup into to thebridge waterthe to Rajiv Rao. Hissugar company wants instead of the sapand in order to give these geared for food grocery selling in sweets urban check doneness. reached gap byfor “marrying theYour art ofsyrup streethas vending to its characteristic chew.

India.

“Corporatised retail needs to find inno- the science right temperature when His it gets to the of modern retail.” company is Making is this a great wayof toopbe hard-ball vative waysmarshmallows of tapping into surfeit stage. Atolittle of this sugar differsyrup using technology position products inducted into select band ofofcooks brave dropped portunities onthe the platforms nutrition, into as thetowater can be rolled into a ently, as well promote professionalism enough to make candy at home. it ball portability, and convenience,” saysAlthough the report. is firm, yet malleable when squished. and that punctuality in services. can seem onerous in the beginning, with a lit- The rest of the processCEO depends the gelatin Maruti Chapke, and onfounder of tle bit of patience, these sweets are a joy to working Straight-to-plate pioneers magic.

Go4fresh,itshas used his years of experience at make.

Watching sugar turnnew a players are Reliance Fresh Although It is this frontierthe that several my love forBig both meand Future group’s Bazaar fluffy, white While that quickly tryingglossy to conquer. all of them aim to to fine-tune ringue and pakoras haveInsomethe farm-to-fork model. orgagives to the mostvegetables beautiful take way fruits and what waned stores over struggle the years, nised retail, to swirly is worth thealso mess straightpink to plate, they are atmarshmallows remain manpowa firm fafind and retain trained In Egypt, honey that the icing sugar out and niche corntempting to carve vourite.

These dayssolves however, er. “Home delivery thatinisflour will inevitably make.have Andto if whipped with the sap stead strengths.

After all, they sue,” he of says. the child-friendly The aim is to marry from marshmallow you’re not onethemselves to be easilyfrom condifferentiate peppermint and raspberry, the Parmar discovered firsthand thewas art of street plant served as a flavours vinced the pyrotechnics of roadsidebyvendors. are slightly more sophisthe advantages of dealing directvending to the sweet treat sugar and food colour, a quick FreshWorld has its eco-friendticated — blueberries, anda pilot rose ly with consumers during science of modern taste of the carts; batter Parmar’s will be ly, high-tech are particularly delicious.

If Sauyou project he conducted in the retail enough to convince you. You Krishi Naturals is taking the beorare a traditionalist, you social could flarashtra region for his engin by route takingtoa little bit of gelaganic Gujarati housevour with vanilla studies instead. Vanillatrepreneurship at the tin and letting soak in water. holds; and it Go4fresh is flavoured marshmallows take veTata Institute of Social Sciences.

Gelatin givesitself the marshmallow positioning as a one-stop- its body and ry well to toasting, and selling make to thebusinessperfect “I learnt that structure — add too andday’s you will get cheshop for farmers tomuch sell their harvest, ir- addition a cup of hot chocolate. es (B2B) istonot a good idea as they are not willwy, bubblegum-like candy, are nice, but ingThe respective of differences inwhich quality. recipe has been several to pay a premium fortweaked freshnessover or quality.” notParmar marshmallow; too little, and end the up years, and his team explain to you farmers it is worth thathethelaunched original After but completing hisnoting course, with something that resemblesand marshmallow benefits of organic cultivation train them comes from myinmother’s 35-year-old Krishi Naturals 2012 to directly offertrusty confluff. the inputs gelatin such blooms, the sugar syr- cookbook, to useWhile natural as jaggery, pulse Recipes for All Occasions BF Vasumers organic vegetables under thebyHariyali up is prepared.

If youand have a candy thermome- rughese, flour, and cow dung urine. where it lies wedged between a reciTopli brand. ter,Other this comes together very the pe for Gum Drop Sweets and Lips of Beauty. retail segments haveeasily. seen Let major sugar cook down,but andfruits wait for temper- Avoiding fresh mistakes transformations, andthe vegetables tanyafocusing is a food writer basedfront-end in Bengaluruto imature to rise tosold 115°C. However, possible to aysha continue to be through theit’s age-old methAside from on the

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prove customer experience, each of these companies is innovating the back-end of operations. Typically, a farmer’s produce arrives at a collection centre before moving to a warehouse, followed by wholesale and retail sellers, and finally to consumers. The farm-to-home players load the produce directly from farms to trucks, ferrying it to the warehouse for direct dispatch to consumers.

As supply chain is the key to profitability, no stone is left unturned to master what the retail biggies have failed to learn in the fresh produce business.

“You can win only through supply chain efficiencies and not opportunistic buying from farmers,” says Chapke. His strategy is to buy all the produce from a farmer. “If I buy only the best quality fruits and vegetables, the farmer won’t be able to find buyers for the rest of his produce. So we buy everything and sell according to the quality to various categories of consumers,” he says.

Chapke’s primary target is individual consumers, who are sold the best grade fruits and vegetables, followed by Horeca (hotels, restaurants and canteens) and the institutional buyers manufacturing juices, pickles and jams and similar products. “This way, we ensure that farmers are offered the most convenient and fair means of selling their produce.

And it helps us get best rates as we are buying in bulk.”

His company, Go4fresh, calls its nearly 60 associate farmers one day in advance with its requirements based on the orders received on its website. Krishi Naturals follows a similar strategy, but on a weekly basis. “We know our consumers, their preferences and order a week in advance,” says Parmar.

The key ingredient for these start-ups is undoubtedly near-accurate forecasting. “Since we know the orders, we plan our purchase accordingly and inform the farmers beforehand,” says Chapke.

Chopping losses According to the Central Institute of Post-Harvest Engineering and Technology (CIPHET), Ludhiana, fruits and vegetables worth ₹13,300 crore go waste annually owing to the absence of cold-storage facilities and inefficient handling. These start-ups are plugging the loopholes. “As we telephone farmers directly, the inventory is very small. Any leftovers can be sold to other customers. So wastage is marginal,” says Chapke.

Mandi comes home Krishi Naturals delivers organic vegetables under the Hariyali Topli brand in Vadodara

FreshWorld founder Rajiv Rao’s carts travel the streets of Bengaluru with veggies sourced from nearby farms grn soma shekar

This, in turn, helps cut losses. Krishi Natu- about food also,” Parmar reasons. The aprals is operationally profitable, while Fresh- proach seems to be working, as demand has World is confident of turning profitable by grown and Parmar is now trying to rope in March 2016 and Go4fresh by June this year. Im- more farmers. portantly, this profitability is neither at the Chapke’s Go4fresh is tapping Mumbai’s big cost of farmers’ livelihoods nor does it make housing societies by creating micro-entreprethe products unaffordable for consumers. neurs — residents who sell its fruits and vegePrices are 10-25 per cent higher than those tables within the society. Each day, the of roadside shops or carts. But consumers are micro-entrepreneurs receive and sell produce not complaining. “I am assured worth ₹10,000; any leftover proof the quality and don’t have to duce is sold to institutional spend hours cleaning my leafy buyers. They each earn about green vegetables. All the prod₹800 a day.

As we telephone ucts are clean and sorted. And I FreshWorld recently opened a farmers directly, the know my spinach has not been convenience store as well. inventory is very grown around Mumbai’s rail“Through this format, we will be small... So wastage way tracks but in farms,” says close to consumers. We don’t is marginal Hemangi K Sharma, a regular have to be in a mall… the neighbuyer at Go4fresh. bourhood store concept will For Nitya Patel, Krishi Natuwork well for us,” says Rao. rals is synonymous with reliable He wants to increase the numquality. “I don’t have to worry about picking ber of carts from 22 to 60 by the year-end and the best for my family. Their produce is orga- expand to other cities. Similarly, Go4fresh nic and certified. Above all, it is fresh; not re- plans to enter Delhi within a year. Parmar is hydrated with water repeatedly,” she says. eyeing Surat as the next destination, followed

by Mumbai.

Branded veggies As the demand for fresh produce meets supTo find more buyers, Krishi Naturals represen- ply from a growing community of internettatives make presentations at housing socie- savvy farmers who are reaping the best rates ties. “If you have a family doctor, why not a for their harvest, there is a greengrocery revofamily farmer — this is the point we make. If lution in the making. we are brand-conscious about clothing and footwear, we should be brand-conscious rashmi pratap

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Green light Krishi Naturals staff explain the benefits of organic cultivation to farmer groups

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IS THIS REALLY HIM?

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he started keeping a beard. Who he policeman looks at the picture “See, the application form was would hide that beautiful face? It of Rahul Gandhi admiringly. “His designed before the invention of skin is so smooth,” he says. “Today photography,” says the cop. “At may be that he was hiding scars from a previous attempt, possihe may be going through bad that time, oil painting was the bly by poor quality doctor. times, but from his complexion you can only option. Naturally the poSometimes even rich people make out his destiny. We asked for identify- lice were unwilling, because compromise due to price.” ing marks, but they could not provide any. transportation of large canHis skin is without blemish. I asked about vases was involved, hence we “But if his face becomes different, won’t this cause confuhis moisturiser, but they refused to answer. invented this application sion in the Congress?” I ask.

In the application form, under ‘complex- form. Now it is coming handy.

“Suppose they worship the ion’, I wrote ‘flawless’’’.

We suspect that this is a case of person by mistake?”

I too am excited. I am on the verge of Gentle plastic surgery withouta permit. giant Kiran Nagarkar, literary heavyweight, is like the man nextwrong door sushil kumar verma “Perhaps he does not want to breaking the biggest investigation of my Initially, face is always a little be worshipped. Perhaps we are career, one that has far-reaching implica- kachcha. It takes about two to not worthy of him. Or he tions for the nation. “That was when we got three weeks to become pucca. may be trying to avoid suspicious,” he says. “How can anyone’s That’s exactly the period Arnab. This is not skin glow like this? Same question can be for which he’s been raised about Madhuri Dixit.” missing. This is the first time someone has “Is this why you wanted details of his ap- not a new undergone pearance?” I ask. “Because, otherwise, pho- thing.

We plastic surgery tographs and videos of him are readily have had in order to available. You can tell what he looks like our suspiavoid Arnab. from them. You have to use something cions evThe situation called Google.” er since

SHOVON CHOWDHURY is chief Truthdigger and author of The Competent Authority

could be similar to that in the motion picture Face/Off, wherein identity was changed by an exchange of faces. Alternately, he may be replacing himself with some type of duplicate or humshakal. Here also, you need two to three weeks, so that you do not notice the minor differences. By the time this is published, it could be that he is back in the public eye. Or it could be that we are still waiting. Either way, from now on, whenever you look at his face, you have to ask yourself the simple question: Is this really him?”

The character writer

Kiran Nagarkar, who has recently published his once-banned play Bedtime Story, on retellings of the Mahabharata and why it remains relevant

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n a season of bans, maverick writer Kiran actor plays Draupadi and Gandhari as well as as a writer. He says, “I have to know what the Nagarkar is back with a book which is old present-day Rupali, a widow, and Salma, a character wants. I don’t care what the public Dear Harikesh, yet new.

HarperCollins has published woman from East Pakistan. wants.” His English novel Cuckold is a fine I,Bedtime too, wasStory, horrified byhe thewrote injustice done a play nearly 40 Nagarkar deftly splits the tales along the so- study of a fascinating character: the Rajput to our dear Hema Malini. That anyone years ago,very along with a screenplay, Black Tulip. cial grain. Arjun is a high-caste medical stu- prince spurned by his wife Meera Bai who had watched Sholay this is cenunIn who its 40has years, Bedtime Storycan hasdo survived dent while Ekalavya is an untouchable become a saint. These days, he says, many writthinkable. part of a dangerous and sorship, bansThis andisobscurity.

Heavily slashed medical student. His Ekalavya does not gift his ers present market plans not book proposals. trend of victimising heroines. byrising the Maharashtra censor board, it alsoWhat faced own thumb to Guru Dronacharya. When Dro- “The entire model has changed.” we say a nationgroups, that does not valthecan wrath of about fundamental which did nacharyaor I thought, letposition me do this on a regu-for he someone of hurting demands theaccused gift, he says, “so be it,” ticipant.

He has a unique in literature its heroines?

This has beenitan notueallow it to be staged though wasongoing private- and “bends thedown, sentiments of aevery basis, anda then income as is assured.

I picks up little religious earth, spits larhas made namemy in Marathi well as English were so many cruel ly process. circulatedFirst, and there read. However, a genial Na- in it, moulds with my local cycle-walcommunity the ofcountry, he worked out a deal it into theinshape writing.

Straddling the two jokesdoes aboutnot Aliaparade Bhatt. Then voters rejected garkar his victimhood.

He a thumb, looks cheerful. “Ev- lah. Unfortunately, dueallows to pressure work,views places surprisingly it on a leaf, goes worlds him of critical both Rakhi Sawant, says the Gul playPanag did runand in theatres but didnot not to do down Byboth. mistake carried the Bi- peoeryone is congratulating oninhisjail knees and offers it me,” he I got confused. of At a Itime when most mention Jaya Prada. commercially well for various reasons. ble into a madrasa, athim which point other he says,Dronacharya “because this isina new thing, which to cupped ple like wrote in English, Moonthe Moon Sen was the only silver Unlike complex, self-conscious craftlinof hands.” no one had thoughtpresents of. It’s a good very angry and in beat me up. Why As Ekalavya the source writing Marathi.

These days, members Nagarkargot began After that, police been relentlessly hising. play, Black Tulip the have screenplay flows with thumb I tried to explain thatchoose I was not in a posiof regular income.” get many writers to him, he says,“How “Likedid gu- you says, did he Marathi over EnPadukone. must thepursuing ease of a Deepika Bollywood story. It isYou about two ru, tion to spend much on lucky buying books, thelike idea?” my gift.”I ask. “I had recently lostpresent glish?

“I am I did not have market plans view Hemaji’s situation in the wider women: a con-woman and yoga buff Raniconand Ally Subramaniam was born in the Southjob at the agarbatti factory, so naturally but they to would SubseNagarkar’s retelling is not of think.not One listen. thing led to anothnotI book proposals West Sundarbans, but was blown away by text. I am surprised thereFielding. has beenNagarkar no reaca no-nonsense cop Regina quently Ier,” washearrested by the wasepic feeling veryarchetypal anti-Hindu.

Why don’t an where charsays. When he police began writa cyclone and washed up on the shore near tion at all from the youth.

Their ingratitude brings them together for a common cause. It acters I become a Muslim, I thought, for hurting sentiments of struggle with destiny andmy reliing religious in English, he saw a fascism Chennai. He was adopted by a poor is shocking.

When theywith are Bedtime in a dispute shares one crucial feature Story: moral all parties concerned.’ gion does not deserve me. ButanI was hesdilemmas.

However, around Marathi, which he had Brahmin family from Tirupur. He can with their VC, thousands of them are both show Nagarkar’s deep commitment to other itant due to the thousands of years of “What’s the nextHestep Mahabharata interpreter never expected. was for so trouanswer all your questions. Just send them themarching character.the streets with banners, shoutyou?”

“Theliterary police say I have to for tradition.

Then I thought, but if I Iravati bled by the from Maharashtra, anthropologist Marathi establishment to askallysubramaniam@gmail.com. ing angry slogans. they retellhave Since Bedtime Story isFor an Deepika, experimental religion.

Thisthat means want, said, I can“All joinhuman a ghar efforts wapsi proKarve, are fruitless, all “betrayingfix hismy mother tongue” he slid innothing. seems their heartsithave ingdone of several talesItfrom Mahabharata, falls human gramme, a HinduNagarkar re- to medical depression. only one-time payment. I am lifeand endsbecome in frustration...” to stone. ear Ally, in turned the category of ‘offence art’. But that ought jigs again. went to one programme currently evaluating differtheI Mahabharata tales to emphasise its Quite unlike high-minded writers, NagarIt just goes to show decline in nationHema Malini has been thrown not to be the case as thethe Mahabharata is not contemporary and observed the process.

It was“Ekalavya has kar does not carry ent an offers, which social relevance. auraafter of pride andIis too al values.

The situation is such, we are not out of the BJP National Commit- simply a text but a literary tradition.

Retellwillsays take a call.used So far, simple andHenot no quota. is time-consuma self-made man. His tale gentle to argue. He authors to be naeven valuing a nationpart doesofnot tee. When will this stop? ings have alwaysbeauty. been anIf intrinsic the shines Christianity looking ing. They gave one boxon of the lad- current stereo- ive, if not innocent, a different light and todayis they have bevalue beauty,tradition. then what Nagarkar is its future?

Regards, Mahabharata has the typing doos, one cycle, a small They’re of the Dalitand youth as inefficient and un- come smart. Nowgood. in his 70s, offerhe is the Harikesh, Rudraprayag sameYours actoraffectionately, play different Ally. roles in the play, em- deserving,” motorcycle.” amount of he cash to each parsays. quintessential maning nexta door. phasising the continuity of moral dilemmas Nagarkar is an old-fashioned, self-effacing The Investigator is a fortnightly round-up of all things droll and newsy.

All views arepresent personal.

Really and social injustices to the age.

Onepersonal man t@shovonc who never compromises with his ethics dharminder kumar is a Delhi-based journalist

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THE CRITICAL ISSUE

Women with voices

Acknowledging and cheering the women who dared to speak out against the system

Hail the speaker As a society we must lend support to those like Soni Sori (inset) who made their battles public v sreenivasa murthy

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Urvashi Butalia is an editor, publisher and director of Zubaan

uzette Jordan, the woman who chose to bravely speak out about being gang raped in Kolkata two years ago, died last week after a short stint in hospital.

She was 40.

In a moving tribute to her mother, Jordan's 18-year-old daughter, Rhea, said: “She was the only person I know who has, from the beginning till the very end, been true to herself, and learned from her mistakes, even though she made one too many of them. She showed me that no one is perfect, and that we shouldn’t judge anyone... When I grow up I want to be like my Mother, be real.”

For Jordan, the decision to speak out, to choose to be identified as herself, a woman who was a rape survivor, and a fighter, could not have been easy. And yet Jordan spoke, not only to her family and friends, not only to the media, but also at training workshops with lawyers, and judges, and police, describing what happens to sexual assault victims and survivors in the institutions that are meant to provide them justice, demanding that these institutions reform themselves, become more sensitive. Every time she did so, she was nervous, fearful, but strong.

I was powerfully reminded of this when I watched the much-talked about, and unfortunately titled, documentary India’s Daughter. As the accused, Mukesh Singh, held forth about rape and men who rape, and women who, according to him, invite rape, he was deadpan, with not an iota of regret. He spoke with the ease and confidence of someone who knows

that even if he’s committed a crime, he is not consequences it does? Take Bhanwari Devi, isothe person who will suffer a lifetime of regret lated in her village, confronted by an economand shame. He was not nervous, he had no ic boycott against her family of potters; take fear; just a sense of impunity. the young woman who had the courage to Indeed many men accused of sexual assault speak out about sexual harassment at the and rape know that once they get out, there hands of her high-profile boss, RK Pachauri; will be a family to receive them, a system in take the intern who spoke out against a judge. which many will secretly look on them with Or take Soni Sori, accused of being a Maoist admiration. And sometimes even a career in and anti-national, fearless in speaking out politics where they may, at some point, be against her jailors and the State. called upon to speak out against the very Or take Jordan herself. Repeatedly humiliatcrime of which they are guilty. ed during the rape trial by deSurely there is something fence lawyers, who resorted to wrong with a system in which parading her underwear in criminals can speak with concourt, and a hostile judge, she Surely there is something fidence about their crimes refused to be cowed down. Inwrong with a system in and those they attack feel stead, she continued to speak, which criminals can speak ashamed and stigmatised. to fight, not only for herself with confidence about In a New York Times article but also for others. their crimes and those about rape in the US army, MaWomen of courage these. they attack feel ashamed ry F Calvert describes how she We do not acknowledge them and stigmatised happened upon the story of enough. Were it not for their army rape, and how she was words, the question of sexual horrified to find not only how violence would be shrouded in many stories there were, but an even deeper silence: imagalso how many of the women who had been ine living a life, sometimes in proximity to the targeted were, even after years, ‘harassed, perpetrator of violence, knowing that you can shunned, ridiculed, drummed out of their re- never mention it. Thousands of women lived giments’; many were suffering from post-trau- through rape during Partition and never matic stress disorder. spoke about it. Our history is poorer for this, What does it take for women to speak out but our activism, our campaigns, our determiabout sexual violence? As story after story tells nation are enriched by the words and the us, the costs are high, the consequences some- courage of those who choose to speak. times terrible. And yet, how can silence be the blink@thehindu.co.in only option, why must speaking out carry the

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Speech bubbles

Muslim or Christian more than being French.

This brings us back to the confusion regarding freedom of speech and expression. If we believe that cartoonists had the right to portray religious figures in the way they wanted, then we also need to believe that people have the right to flaunt their religion on their bodies. “Free speech is no longer for people who need it, it’s for people with bigger microphones,” says Banerjee.

But what about back home where we repeatedly fail to protect our Hashmis, MF Husains, Salman Rushdies and Perumal Murugans? Both Unny and Banerjee are surprisingly not too worried about religious fundamentalism and consider it to be a self-destructive strategy by political parties.

Unlike in Paris, fundamentalist acts of violence in India are often committed by the majority religion. It’s both easy and hard to be a Hindu fundamentalist. Easy because violence Fields because and men Hinis an easy option and difficult This collection of huduism as a religion isn’t focused on the shortusing storiesthe contains man sphere: you can go to war name details of geography, of god and to uphold justice but not in rituals and all sorts the of name of god or to uphold his/her sanctity. work, set in the These dynamics allow us toPakistani acknowledge funcountryside bloomberg/asad zaidiasserdamentalist acts of violence as being tions of power and to think about them critically. It becomes more problematic when the repression comes from the State. Unny, for instance, is rightly more concerned about events such as the arrest of cartoonist Aseem Trivedi for his work in an activist campaign.

Trivedi launched the Cartoons Against Corruption in 2011 as part of Anna Hazare’s campaign for the Jan Lokpal Bill and later started the Save Your Voice campaign when the Mumbai Crime Branch shut down his website. Trivhe eloquent title of this book ap- elegiac quality, Natiq’s storytelling is brisk, ec- edi ble as men of God. They are renowned not for was charged with sedition and insulting pears to stem from the first sen- onomical and crackling with energy. And rare- national acts of grace towards the devout, but for striksymbols.

Fortunately, he was released tence of Ali Akbar Natiq's ‘Qaim ly, if ever, does Natiq’s world show signs of on ingbail dread into hearts were of doubters. and thethe charges soon dropped.

Deen’, Story No. 3 in this translated transformation, of a ‘new way coming’. Jus- While Natiq’s a world of efficacious curses raththeisjudiciary may have rightfully procollection. “So tell me, what will you give for tice, in the ordinary sense of the word, is not tected er thanTrivedi effective duas. theitunsparingness and his And work, hasn’t shown this beauty? Listen, I know it’s stolen, so be frequently achieved. Terrible things happen, the of religious belief can veryartistic landscape same sensitivity toturn manythe other crecareful how you price it,” says one Noor Deen, and they don’t often happen to terrible peo- ations. into something stark and brutal. theVS superb Rushdie’s Satanic Verses In and Naias he strokes a buffalo’s back. ple. The rural and small town Punjab of these paul’s ‘Jeera’s Departure’, theDarkness Beas startsare to dry up beAn Area of notable But Qaim Deen answers, “Look here, Nooray, stories is a place where power triumphs over examples. cause Pir Jatti Shah loses temper athowthe The problem of his suppression, You Give Up in arms One of theWhat mostWill significant outcomes of theI’ll Charlie killings wasNot the renewed over what meanand by freedom takeHebdo five thousand. a pennyconfusion less,” makbothwetruth beauty.of speech and expression boatmen, whilea Pir Moday Shah’s sacrificial ever, becomes more serious matter wheninit For This Beauty? afp/asger ladefoged ing it clear that Noor Deen is the potential Natiq cannot have set out to write an ethno- happens junction at to athe villagerslevel. feedsSuch off their pre-exmolecular as Mumbai Ali Akbar Natiq buyer and Qaim Deen the seller, the epony- graphic account, but this collection brims University’s isting notions of the Yet Misthe decision to river’s removewrath.

Rohinton Translated by Ali Madeeh Hashmi mous cross-border thief at this cartoons here is a poster onthe thecentre noticeof board with details of geography, rituals and all sorts try’s might have caused. enchanted quality of thisSuch world with Booker-nominated a coexists Long Journey Hamish Hamilton — dramatic,ofeventually chilling tale. York So what my classroom in New that of Commenting work. Natiq himself hasrenewed worked asdebate a mason, on this EP from the prosaic, the words of pirs and elders comthe syllabus following Aditya ThackePenguin Noor Deen ought to have tell Unny, reads, ‘Lives are atasked stake’.was: It’s a“So poster building domes minarets many years, who is theand chief politicalfor cartoonist for ray’s peting(Bal with matter-of-fact statements about Thackeray’s grandson) complaint Short stories ₹399 me, what will youfor take for this beauty?” calling volunteer doctors to help The and Indian in his stories, barbers and farmExpress,masons, and graphic novelist Sar- that irrigation canals, Peter Shiv engines subcontithe book portrays Senaand in bad light. confess I was terribly outI must with the Ebolathat outbreak in WestdisconcertAfrica. But nath ers jostle with wrestlers andthat sto-the killing of Surely, it is more Banerjee both think nental realpolitik.

Ininstitutions one story, a alarming when edoddly to find that the beautifully craftedHashmi. phrase, Charlie it always reminds me of Safdar rytellers.

The book also offers a Hebdo’s cartoonists shouldn’t be con- start practicing floodself-censorship takes place because “India in fear of picked out toand serve as introduction to Natiq’s A playwright director, Hashmi was fatally fused succinct commentary on the vaas being about cartoons.

Meditated acts imagined consequences. had released the water of the Sutfictional world, might not actually exist with- of wounded

by Congress party workers during garies of history religiontoin violence are notand reducible a lej”, and inadds, ‘Jeera’s Banerjee “I’mDeparture’, beginning in it.performance I haven’t readofNatiq in the original, it handful the his play Halla Bol! inbut SahiPakistaniofPunjab.

Here cartoons andare theSikhs car“[m]any timesconcerned news came to get more by that the The fluid translation didn’t seem possible that seen he could have made babad in 1989.

I haven’t Rajkumar San- toons who must their tohomes are notleave reducible what Hindustan had stopped wamiddle class’ blind faith the in corconjures up a world such anfilm elementary error on of everyday speech, toshi’s made based the event but I just during a Sikh man a Partition, handful and of cartoonists ter but the elders contradicted it porates.

We’ll crush out voices that does not often using one word Hashmi when hebeing meant its opposite. imagine a lanky beaten or even think who stays on bytoconverting to Isor want express. “Charharshly, askingnot how wasof possiand mediums byitacts vioMeditated of find space inacts writing So was it the translator who re- lie stabbed mid-dialogue.

On should Januarybe7,held when lam (‘TheisShare’).

Here aregrowShias Hebdo about Europe’s ble forbut anyone to dam thethem river”. lence by relegating to violence are not in English sponsible: forof a mistake, orHebdo worse,carfor ing news aboutwhether the killing the Charlie made so insecure the other dom- reducible to a handful theLike inability to livebywith the world inwe’ll which they periphery.

Soon reach a an intentional moment of glibness, of letting people. toonists erupted on the screens that surround inant Sunni majority especially that they Europe’s, are set, Natiq’s stories can often stage where if you want to be of cartoons and the the Irhetorical fluency of English ride roughme, was reminded of the same line: ‘Lives are France’s, dare not shelter own co-reethos istheir becoming Juhave denouements feel heard you will need that to speak cartoons are not shod over the actual Urdu? at stake.’ ligionists (‘The Guardian’).

Here deo-Christian.

What they reducible to what just through harsh. Hierarchies too a celebrityhere or aare corpoWas of I making a mountain of a molehill?

One the most significantout outcomes of the achieved are stories inthrough which caste has such a matter-ofrigorous entrenched to be reversed. what human rate’s marketingBut campaign.”

In a a handful of Or rather, it would beconfusion in the idiom killings wasasthe renewed overNatiq what scholarly fact powerthought that noissimplistic claim of its hav- beings being eaten to achieve bleak situation suchcan as somethis, cartoonists think orare powerless andmean I share,byraifreedom ka pahaad a mountain from a up we of —speech and expresingby been erased from Muslim sociality want can evtheir Euro-centricity,” says times be achieved by lesser creatures.

It is both young illustrator Harshad Mato express mustard seed?

But then translation is aYork, fine Banerjee, sion.

At the Museum of Modern Art, New er again bewho madehas (thesodramatic far re- ‘Despair’ and comic and tragic Natiqmost hands two of his rathe,that whose recent work art, andjournalist its finesseSir depends everyduring grain bewhen HaroldonEvans a mained the resigned silent‘Achoo aboutthe theAcrobat’). events rare victoriesincludes against the powerful a rabbit cartoons ontoDarwin’s ing accounted for. Hebdo and Freedom of and panel on ‘Charlie Most ubiquitous ofThe all are pirs and maulvis, and a dog. expeditions for National Geoits implications.

JudeoIt seemed pity to have to start thislimits way, beSpeech’ askeda — “Should there be any to Christian all of them more ethos thatconcerned Banerjee iswith wielding Just beforegraphic this review went to press, disTraveller India, says Isuch cause Ali Madeeh Hashmi’s fluidwith translation artistic expression?” it was met stutters referring power than Whether they are to isholiness. not limited to religion butrich en- times covered thatfor Natiq a ghazal which make morehas nuanced art.from “It’s imporunfurls a worldSuddenly, not oftenthe visible in English. and stammers. panellists — art- compasses landlords —anlike Pir Mast in the vividly told ethnic and nationalist view of tant dastango and actor Danish Husain translates to criticise authority including religious The Kader only comparable work I can think of in En- what ists Attia and Sharon Hayes, Daily Show ‘Shahabu’s Premonition’, “had vastAn lands it means to be Frenchwho or European. ex- authority one sher asfigures. follows: “What would give I obviously don’tyou want tofor be glish is DaniyalAasif Mueenuddin's, also seteditorin the ample correspondent Mandvi, Vice news and thousands followers spreadtoacross the lynched would beofFrance’s decision ban chilthis beauty? the sky this for itI’ve andslashed so I illustrate in aand waylet that is PakistanJason countryside.

Mueenuddin has de- dren in-chief Mojica, historian Simon Schama province Punjab”, or or practically — non-specific fromofwearing veils any otherpaupers religious sun ablaze on you. What more would you or vaguely associative.”

Marathe’s scribed his Karl book as “stories the farm symbols and satirist Sharro — who about are all generally like the memorable protagonist of ‘ThelegislaMaul- illustrations in school. While the French want this heart to do?”

Theingrain has beenthat acshape shift a manner and the old feudal ways, the dissolving feudal ture articulate and critical of repressive machinery vi’s Miracle’, whoban cannot complain about Ra- mimics upheld this stating that it was meant countedthe for,debate. and I am glad of a less harsh order and the new wayquite coming, the sleek busi- to in their work, weren’t sure.

They agreed naseparate Farooq’sstate dog “since Ranaactivities Sahib paid for reall denouement. and public from nessmen from the But where that the violence wascities.” barbaric but at theMueesame ligion, of the maulvi’s it is terri- blessy augustine is an art critic currently based in it is alsohousehold a symptomexpenses”, of the legislature’s trisha Yorkgupta is a Delhi-based writer and critic nuddin’s tales have a slow,the stately, often time did not want to belittle offence the discomfort fying mere mortals that makes them believawith someone being a Sikh, Jew, New

In the debate over the freedom of speech and expression how are we to protect our Hashmis, Husains, Rushdies and Perumal Murugans?

Of pirs and Peter engines The everyday is both enchanted and stark in these crackling tales from Pakistan

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Roasted in Kashi While bans and censure have become all too common in India, ribaldry is certainly more than kosher in Varanasi. Rather than being encumbered by its religiosity, poets find their licence in this Dionysian city

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he stage is packed with the poets of Varanasi. The man with the microphone pauses. For suspense. He starts with a chuckle. “There’s one thing that men and government files have in common. They can both be left hanging for days.” Delivered in the local dialect, the punch line immediately cracks up the audience of 50,000 gentlemen. Some throw their heads back and guffaw, others whack the shoulders of their brethren. Since 5pm, men have jostled outside the city’s Town Hall for a spot. Glasses of bhang-laced thandai have been passed around with trademark generosity. For 46 years, many in Varanasi have seen their Holi culminate in this style. They customarily take their place in the marquee, wanting the festival of colour to be rounded off with language just as rambunctious.

Varanasi’s unorthodox Holi kavi sammelan (gathering of poets) has no identifiable antecedent. The verse that poets recite with great aplomb is replete with expletives that cannot be repeated in genteel living rooms, let alone in this national newspaper. Their irreverence — both scatological and sexual — is sometimes directed at the audience, but the real target of this public derision is most often popular politicians, administrators, cricketers. The hoary tradition of humour demands that the powerless mock the powerful. So, in Varanasi, if you

make the headlines, you will be made the butt about the prime minister’s girth become repeof a joke. Defined by comparable insolence, it titious, gods feature as protagonists in their is hard to not think of All India Bakchod’s bawdy verse. Not surprisingly, Banarasis feel (AIB’s) infamous ‘roast’ while listening to the honoured when they find mention in the local poets mercilessly slam state and central day’s prurient poetry. Some even bribe poets governments. Much has been said about how for a racy tribute.

AIB broke new ground with their brand of inThis year, the Lok Sabha battle between sult comedy. Evidence disproves this claim. Va- Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Aam Aadranasi has been roasting and mi Party chief Arvind Kejriwal insulting those in power, long was predictably fresh in Varanabefore actors Ranveer Singh and si’s mind. The latter’s resounding Arjun Kapoor smiled through a victory gave poets new ammuniThe poetry heard in litany of put-downs at Worli’s tion. Parasnath Jaiswal writes his Varanasi’s Town Hall Sports Club. ribald couplets under the pen has a kind of punch Intent apart, commonalities name Chintit Banarasi. He conthat makes AIB’s between the AIB Roast and the fessed to being rather proud of affronts sound like Benares sammelan limit themtwo lines he wrote recently. In twee prattle in selves to adjectives. They are edlanguage that can only be deretrospect gy, often facetious and scribed as ‘unparliamentary’, he sometimes side-splittingly fundescribed how Narendra Modi’s ny. The content of each could shenanigans in Varanasi last year justifiably be thought of as dishelped give birth to an Oedipustasteful and offensive. Without the sanitisa- like son in Kejriwal exactly nine months later. tion, however, the poetry heard in Varanasi’s Another poet furthered this riff of birth and Town Hall has a kind of punch that makes copulation, imploring Rahul Gandhi to give AIB’s affronts sound like twee prattle in retro- his mother Sonia the satisfaction of being a spect. The stuff that makes for scandal in an new grandmother. “But isn’t that how dynasty otherwise squeamish India is certainly more politics works,” he asked. than kosher in Kashi. Rather than being enLyricists audaciously borrowed the pietistic cumbered by their holy city’s religiosity, poets tune of ‘Ram Ratan Dhan Payo’ and used that here find their licence in scripture. When jibes to attack their prime minister’s promise of

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Unmasked When jibes about the prime minister’s girth become repetitious, gods feature as protagonists in Varanasi’s bawdy verse pti

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Laughed off the set Is the comedian in Indian cinema, specifically Bollywood, in danger of fading out?

Bura na mano, Holi Hai Swear words are part of our culture, a part of our religious make-up, say the people of Varanasi pti

achche din. Bihar chief minister Nitish Kumar was a form of abuse and now it is only accept- si, it is expected that he will initiate the conand his bête noire Jitan Ram Manjhi were not able if we rebrand it as something cool or cos- versation with a string of expletives. “If spared either. Lalu Prasad and Mulayam Singh mopolitan. We have never needed someone were to simply ask, ‘Kya Rameshji, Yadav remained perennial favourites. Some- Bollywood’s sanction. Mumbai, though, cer- aap uth gaye kya?’ (So Rameshji, have you Beyond the rat pack Rajpal Yadav is a rare contemporary actor-turned-comedian afp woken up?), the only inference would be that one even punned on Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s tainly needs it.”

Gaalis or expletives, known to many in rural the caller has suffered a sudden onset of senilsurname to help flush Indian cricket down a eteran and theatre actor Na- mode were said to have been Uttar Pradesh as gaaris, ity,” says the Vishal, a laugh. thelatter case toilet bowl.

Withcinema everybody being fair game of delivery that has undergone a usurped rolewith of the comicMaking actor, the seeruddin Shah once remarked that change,” liberally hurled during weddings Rama, too thatisthere is a difference betweenJoshi mouthing and no sexual depravity a taboo, Varanasi’s he says.

Joshi the feels that as aofsociety discovering newer pastures. points everyseemed big Hindi film isatinspired by evolves, Krishna so and The scriptures abuses abusive, the poet referson to permissibility expressly odds with doShiva. its stereotypes.

“Whenprescribe cinema out thatand thebeing audience no longer depends in some way. censure.

Not just began that when devotees light pyre on the night the tradition Mar HoliCompeting in the nearby Mumbai’s Shakespeare prohibition and the State’s in India the roles of acharacters were set: cinema alone of forLath comic relief. for direct adaptations such as Vishal Bhardwaj’s There beforewas Holi, they must bidand farewell to montowns of Nandgaon Barsana. “Every year, a virtuous, brave ideal hero; an hearty laughs are theand proliferation of comedy Omkara (Othello) or Haider stersvillain; with athe barrage of curses. thousands get their heads broken.

Not The might of the cuss word (Hamlet), but nar- evil vamp; the virtuousDharmsheel damsel-in- shows on of TV,men stand-up comedy acts, social ratives andstage characterisations too ‘roast have maslong distress Chaturvedi pointsand outathat the many villages media a singlevideos FIR gets registered.

Why should anyTaking the as the designated heroine; comedian to provide peddling everything from slapfed the Shakespearean oeuvre.

The Comedy nearhumour.”

Varanasi still keep alivechanging the tradition of stick one then object toinsult, the traditions here?” ter’ off in Mumbai, Karan Johar had prudently re- the Apart from archeto satire and and easily accessible of Errors inspired Gulzar’s with Sanjeev invoking gods withtoexplicit ditties during the international In keeping with Varanasi’s unconventional minded his audience thatAngoor, the language used types, Joshi points the changing narratives comedic content.

The comic acKumar Deven Varma sharing awould rollicking months by of filmmakers. spring. The For 81-year-old had tor traditions, theof advent of Holi also sees thenow anduring and the course of the evening only pursued instance,poet the hero edged out a designated movie role time on screen, well as DoinDooni Chaar with is been in first bringpublication of a Kamath booklet get filthier.

The as disclaimer Varanasi wasn’t no instrumental longer the ‘idealist’ or just romantic: has several nual lucrative alternatives.

Kishore and Asit Sen.Trivedi, Goliyon President Ki Raslee- “Facets Manthan.

60thtoissue ing together a motley bunch ofsuch as rebel- largely agrees named quite soKumar long-drawn.

Rajan previously unexplored, with this, but isThe quick add la: (2013)Academy had the Romeo-Juliet temwasfour recently circulated through his peers during Holi of 1969. of Ram-Leela the Bhartendu and organiser of liousness and the anti-establishmentarianism, that despite the million hits for All India plate lovers. the started sammelan, says, “EveryEven time you an underground The For the next three decades, the Holiofkavistar-crossed seeping into the his Bakchod’s Roast network. on YouTube, In Varanasi, everyone less-known Loveofstarring Bhoopalam hear a fresh10ml burst abusesNeil being fired on characterisation.” listedevents address its too printer — Holi sammelan flourished under such areofstill few in is waiting for death. and is ahear contemporary onna A his aegis. Chaturvedi, who is also stage,Koel youPurie will also the apologytake — Bura ‘ISI’s Islamabad headquarters’. number and the stand-up comePeople have nothing Midsummer Night’s Dream.

(Please don’t take offence. It’s Humour mano. Holi Hai! a senior in advocate, makes an inApart from couplets about the the situation dy space remains niche. to be afraid of here.

As for the staple clown, Holi!)”

Unlike the AIBShakespearean Roast, which had asked a Independent teresting legal filmmaker distinction. “The prime minister’s many assumed and The situation is It’s not that they are rustic or uneducated fool figure whoeach relied 4,000-strong crowd to pay ₹4,000 forona critic Supreme CourtKamath has ruled that proclivities, Sudhish concurs, Hero takes all the compilation emerging being carelessaswith low evoke laughter, Hindi cinema seat,comedy Trivedi to insists that Varanasi benefits by but what obscene and what isn’t published ‘signed’ by the is is wary of sweeping generalAuthor andpieces film critic Anupama the clown what they’re saying. has a constellation these — isations. not churned charging out its patrons a single of dime.

“We can only Present-day be determined bycineconlikes of Asaram Theof magaHindi Chopra thinks Bapu. the role the It’s just that from Walker,to Mehmood, Asrani don’t Johnny expect anyone pay a tax or a fee.back The ma’s text. sensibility There are is temples in Puri zine, though, not entirely changing and comic actor inisHindi cinema text has they’re carefree in the day toisJohnny Lever, Shakti Kapoor, and Sat- directors atmosphere convivial, and the powerful that haveare onlooking their walls heavy. Explicit pornographic picto therepreWest receded with the diversification ish Kaushik and Rajpalunmasked.”

Yadav more recently. corrupt get routinely sentations of bestiality.

If you tures of its pages. for inspiration.

The aesthetic is of thelined hero’smost character, whichDeofIn the “masala fare”Chaubey, Bollywood out maturing According to Anil it isdishes precisely can’t call that it’s also spite ashades disclaimer that itshowevpages and offensive, familiar motifs or devices, like ten takes on comic as well.

She, routinely, the comedian has beenVaranasi’s a key ingresuch subversion that separates lo- the wrong toderivative use the label forjester cuss or clown, are er, doesn’t seeare use only’, copies stage of the it for as a‘personal recent development.

“As freely hands across class dient alongside thefrom rest of cast ofrefinehero, being cal indecorousness thethe seeming wordsdiscarded. employed in our poetry and songs.” of Manthan far back as the lateexchange 1950s, actors such as Kishdivides.

Connoisseurs even pay ₹1,000 for isheroine, villain, sidekicks, et al. Except, perment of its urban AIB counterparts.

Though He believes directors such as Anurag Kash- ore Kumar began to dabble in comedy.

Most sues not in circulation. haps, the laughs and far be- yap, Chaubey wasn’t are ablegetting to see fewer the contentious Get insulted, famous Dibakar get Banerjee and Farhan Akhtar are recently, Aamir Khan in PK essentially played Shankar Jai breaksand into the songrole at the tween.

It’s been a while a loutish “Aaoo roast before it was pulledsince down from the Net, at Badari Vishal is aofcentral figure Comedy in Varanasi’s the forefront this change. and theJailead protagonist ofdrop the of a listener’s hat. Could When convinced has Lolitha!”

— made famous Shaktiresorted Kapoor in the poet believes that AIBby comics to humour poetry circuit. confesses thatto, a few patrons clown,” are noHe longer limited or dependshe says. this soundthat the he death enjoyment) of captured the masti (raucous the 1984 film Tohfa — has captured the cineexpletives on stage because the utterance of ent on Holi often make their the stage to knell on, one character butway flowtothrough confor comedians?

“Not quite,” Chopra says.

Holi with some success, the many fan’s imagination.

Is the in Indian versations four-letter words has nowcomedian become “fashionaleave him with a fewcharacters thousand rupees. between instead.“They “The Despite the nepotism inhe thelists industry, if aqualrealBelly situation ities of his city.whose It is only his stupor that intercinema, specifically Hindito cinema, ble”. He makes reference the Delhigoing have just one request. as They their is emerging thewant clown,” henames adds. ly good actor strengths lie in comedy song ‘DKanBose’ and soon begins to whittle Regional rupts his eloquence.

“Kashi a world unto through existential crisis? added to cinema, the list oflargely those insulated who are going be alone from to such comes along, he will isfind takers; aldown the etymology of the word b****e. “You global itself. Nobody abusedshifts that and evening.” clarifies slow toMasochism, evolve, continues to though he mayhas no been longerable playtoa understand one-dimenthink it’s archetypes a cuss word, but it is essentially a hold this place.

It possesses an otherworldly Changing Vishal, is notfor the that dictates their a place themotive traditional comic act, he sional character.

Moreover, while power.

Hindi composite ofand threeadman words Prasoon in Sanskrit — bho, Its identity beevolved mappeditin itshasn’t untroubled Scriptwriter Joshi be- makes largesse.

“These people want their names an- cinema clear. maycan have still quite sad and together, they mean —“It’s Is everyjoyousness.”

Sanskrit scholar andsheveteran lieves it’sike. a Put question of perspective. not nounced on loudspeakers and audio CDs. rid itself of stock characterisations, adds. thingthe well you these Mughals journalist Amitabha Bhattacharya might raise that rolewith of comedy, be itdays? light,The slapstick, ir- Newer They want to get famous.” avenues jayaram were the or firstsatire, to spread the lie that the an eyebrow at Jai’s claims, but even he conreverent has diminished.

It isword the While When male friend callsplot another in to Varanainasome ways the seems have pradipti

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cedes that the effects of Shiva worship have helped give Varanasi its air of unfettered autonomy. “In the other cities of the world, everyone is simply trying to survive, but they’re ultimately dying. In Varanasi, everyone is waiting for death. People have nothing to be afraid of here. It’s not that they are being careless with what they are saying. It’s just that they are carefree.”

The bohemian nature of Shaivism is also said to culminate in a linguistic transference of sorts. Expletives of a phallic nature are all considered derivatives of Shiva’s divine linga (phallus). Besides, the god of destruction is thought to be a receptacle of all things abject — the snake around his neck, the poison in his throat, the ash smeared on his body. It is assumed that crummy language is something such a deity would heartily celebrate. Holi then becomes a tailor-made carnival for revelries in a starkly Dionysian city. As Bhattacharya explains, “The extra-constitutional liberty which Holi provides allows us to accept anything that gets uttered.”

Despite this pervasive sanction, not every- River of revelry Poet Anil Chaubey sits on the banks of Assi Ghat, where the Holi sammelan was initially one takes kindly to Varanasi’s unique mix of organised shreevatsa nevatia Break free Leading trash talk and political satire. In 1980, district musicians like Pandit he sees in somagistrate Bhure Lal took umbrage when in- known to most by his nom de plume Chaka- to the inequalities and inequities Venkatesh Kumar have could formed of the invectives lavishly meted out by chak Banarasi. Before Srivastava died of cancer ciety. The role of a rebel, you decided that say, thereisishis poets during the annual Holi sammelan. He in 1999, he had invented an entire genre of ir- gazetted post.” An employee roomofforthe playUttar Prak ananthan Srivastava was depredictably pressed for a ban. The city’s poets reverence. Politicians, priests, even Mahatma desh sales tax department, felt further emboldened. They gathered in Gandhi made for ready fodder. Bhojpuri litter- clared dead by his office months before he MANJH much the KHAMAJ same way they had done every year. ateur Chandrakant Singh is 72, and even could retire. His colleague Baburam Shastri is Bhure Lal was singled out in their disparaging though he chuckles when saying that Holi similarly frustrated with the travails of his verse and when his convoy appeared in the helps make devars (brothers-in-law) of old workplace and says that he can only write sacrowd, the official was greeted with a dash of men like him, he turns suddenly sombre tirical verse because “pain is a vital ingredient colours and inflated condoms. The district when lamenting a drop in literary standards of poetry”. Compared to his peers, Shastri’s poems seem demure. “I like staying magistrate supposedly succumbed and quick- since Srivastava’s demise. “It is away from vulgarity,” he admits. ly gave his assent. Legend also has it that for- the quality of satire that has tak“I leave before everyone starts mer Uttar Pradesh chief minister Kamalapati en a beating. These days, people their abuse.” The aversion felt by Tripathi had laughed out loud when he heard just drop these expletives. DurWe have never Shastri is not uncommon in the that a poet had questioned the sanctity of his ing Chakachak’s time, every needed Bollywood’s city’s poetic community. Anil relationship with his daughter-in-law. Here, word, good or bad, had behind it sanction. Mumbai, hidden rhetoric.”

Chaubey once of perthe the fuss that surrounded AIB’s roast his year, at the Dover Lane would Music aswers, most of them not ‘correct’. Does the ra- pray (I certainly do) for the made artistemost to not though, certainly immunity offered

by PuriyadhaHoli samAjay Kumar Srivastava considperhaps be more amusing than the roastwas it- ga-time Conference, in Kolkata, there relationship, then, hold only for an form raga Puriya, Puriya Kalyan, needsnashree, it “For 364 days, we remain melans.

Chakachak his literary masself. Though AIBdiscussion comics have cancelled some about Pandittheir Ven- ers advanced listener?

Marwa or Shree. caged.

That one feels like and has given himself theAshwini Bhide all-India tour in the face ofchoice controversy, katesh Kumar’s of raga.they Ku- terI discussed this with vocalist The broader question is if day it makes any arunabha deb abandon served on a isplatter.” allonym Banshould consider in Kashi.

Theraised city’s fitting mar sang Yaman.aArevival few eyebrows were Deshpande.

SheChapachap does not deny the role of con- sense to literalise an expression that meant Chaubey, soon Though seems to agree audiences knowstarted how to around take a joke. because hiscertainly performance 11pm arasi. ditioning, buthe emphasises that there is an in- to be abstract.

Just likehowever, it is possible totired enjoyofa cacophony that cameintothe define those merSingh’s assessment ofaatime decline, hehow ar- the — past the ‘appropriate’ time for performing with herent connection between of day; poem about the dawn evening, or a evenings.

“Peoplethe would be tearing each that in Varanasi hasn’t lostenits ry Beyond Hawas not the first time that listen- gues the raga.Ha This we feel at poetry that time; and howstill certain notes painting depicting monsoon in winter, kurtas.

Outward sophistication edge.feeling.

“The only a poet has to give other’s Almost all ofLane Varanasi’s poetsoccasion acknowledge a defiant ers at Dover have found to fuss hance that Shething recounted an experithen why not Yaman at midnight?

Also,left rerepressed.

Moreover, when organisers profanity.

That is his right.

It is his certain to Revati Raman Srivastava, over suchdebt an anomaly.

A few years back Pandit is ence with middle-school students inresponse a village men strictive interpretation perhaps works only in Varanasi of Mehdi those Vinayak Torvi sang Miyan ki Malhar (in Janu- in Uttarakhand where she only sang an alaap outside theory and not inheard actualrecordings experience. they quickly stereotyped and ary) and on another occasion, Ustad Amjad Ali in Raga Bhairav (without any lyrics). She then gatherings, Hassan’s immortal ghazal Ek Bas Tuhiyou Nahi is your poetry as indecent.

They hesitated Khan had played Jhinjhoti early in the morn- asked the students to describe classic Miyan ki Malhar.

Butwhen does inviting you to their stage.invoke One daythe adversely ing (this year, too, he played Durga early in the an image that the alaap conthat ghazal rains? impacted your entire year.”

Chaubey nowoftravmorning). Every time this happens, the ‘con- jured in their minds. The reEven if we take lyrics out the els the country and sometimes the noisseurs’ relish the opportunity to shake sponses she got were — three equation, and consider theworld. ragas The imposition of While much of poetry is decorous he their heads. Instead of lamenting this practice hills with the sun rising from beinhis their absolute form, today, it would time is often as much still has people asking for something “non-a and viewing it as an affront to traditional per- tween them; a figure of Nataraj; be difficult to justify aligning a burden for the veg” backstage. isn’t formance norms, it might be more useful to and a mother cleaning a courragaDharmsheel exclusively Chaturvedi along a time of listeners as for surprised. Heday hasor studied enough psychology wonder why senior artistes are disregarding tyard at dawn. Each corresponda season, leaving out myrthe artistes to conclude that ‘sublimation’ can be a seducthe raga-time anomaly. ed perfectly with Bhairav. iad other possibilities. sammelans used serve a tive force. “These Raga and time have forever been a couple.

Carnatic musicians, though, Critics continue totouse theasracatharsis for everyone.”

Each raga corresponds to one of the eight pra- are unfettered by the raga-time ga-time theory as a punching Women, though, are obviously excluded hars in a day, and a musician is expected to per- theory. They are free to play Malbag. Musicians are habitually atarticulation form it accordingly. There are also ragas that kauns at midday. Carnatic vocalist TM Krishna from tackedChaturvedi’s for their incorrect choiceofof‘everyone’. raga for a husbands they memorise correspond to different seasons. A listener’s had told me that the treatises in Carnatic mu- Many particular time ofconfess day. Thethat conclusions drawn choicestthan versenecessary: to repeatlack to their wivestaabeexperience is supposedly enriched when s/he sic do specify times of day for the ragas, but the are harsher of proper closed doors, but of misogyny and listens to a raga at the ‘correct’ time. Darbari these guidelines have been ignored across the hind lim and a disregard forwhiffs tradition, are the most exaggerated thean comKanada holds the grandeur of the night, and board. He said that he is sure that in the past patriarchy common. Itare is only silly for anyone toby take exwomen from theraga-time Varanasi Bhairav the solemnity of the morning. hundred years, performers have not paid heed plete tremeabsence positionofwith respect to the livediscussion in a male chauvinistic soBut how much of this association is a conse- to the raga-time specifications. Krishna’s hy- Town theory,Hall. but“We more on the subject and is a fact cannot escape,” quence of conditioning? An accustomed lis- pothesis is that practicality trumped all else: ciety would bethat welcome.

It we is perhaps time to says give Bhattacharya.

“A poettowrites his potener, who knows that Bageshree is a night most of the concerts were held in the evening, Amitabha more generous consideration the dissentfor therather adultthan of a household and outright it is still raga, is likely to associate another raga with so the artistes figured that it made more sense etry ing voices rejecting them unfortunately assumed that the adult islike allargely similar notes — say Rageshree or Ba- not to limit themselves to the evening ragas. as upstarts. Now that leading musicians keen observer of societal shifts geshri-ang Chandrakauns — with the same This had once prompted Pandit Ravi Shan- ways Ustadmale.”

AmjadA Ali Khan and Pandit Venkatesh his city, does not time of day. S/he may or may not be right, but kar to say that the Carnatic musicians, in this in Kumar haveBhattacharya, decided that however, there is room for change.

“Poets and feel bulls, like kings the conditioning will push the listener in a regard, have been much smarter than their discount play, more musicians might encouraged ascetics, free-willed.

They can go particular direction. Every time I have asked Hindustani counterparts. The imposition of and to question theare raga-time notion. friends — who are not trained in Hindustani time is often as much a burden for the listen- where they please.” music — to match ragas with times of the day ers as for the artistes. Most concerts start at arunabha deb is a Kolkata-based lawyer and a music Not censored Without sanitisation the poetry heard in Varanasi’s Town IHall hasreceived a punch that makesvarying much ofanIndian English comedy mild shreevatsa nevatia nevatia writer shubhodeb@hotmail.com or seasons, have wildly 6:30pm or so;look regular listeners are known to shreevatsa

Time to turn

Q

Why are senior artistes disregarding the raga-time anomaly?

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Strike a pose Dreams of making it to the silver screen may not always come true. But that didn’t stop one man from posing as his favourite stars over the decades

Y

ou can never tire of some stories. Especially when they are intertwined with the memories of childhood. My Nana’s (Ashok Misra) unfulfilled dreams of becoming an actor in Bollywood is one such story. Not a single day of my childhood in Moradabad passed without him waxing eloquent on showbiz, the films and legendary actors. Nana’s passion for the movies found wholehearted support in his younger brother, who still considers himself the most glamorous in the family. However, like the conservative middle-class father of the black-and-white Hindi film, my great-grandfather opposed the idea of his sons becoming actors. He put them in charge of Arun Press, the printing unit he’d started. But that did little to affect their love for the big screen.

Instead of the sets, Nana made the local studio his temple for acting. The photographer played the director as Nana posed as various actors during elaborate portfolio shoots. He added a touch of drama to everything he said or did. He would break into popular Dev Anand songs and shake a leg with Nani (grandmother), for whom it had become all too routine.

My granduncle’s movie fever made him spend hours in front of the mirror, inspecting his looks from every angle imaginable. Even today, his daily routine includes two hours of self-grooming.

The brothers went to film shoots in Bombay, courtesy of a distant uncle who was the celebrated music composer, Ravi. Mala Sinha, one of the leading ladies of the industry, was a regular visitor at home as well.

Many years later, the brothers went on to publish two film magazines — Arun and Saathi Digest. These magazines became popular in Moradabad and the small towns and villages around it and received photos and interviews of film stars all the way from Bombay. This way, they continued to stoke their interest in Bollywood and remained upto-date with the industry.

Nana’s story has taught me that dreams do not always die young. This photo series is my attempt to capture the story I grew up with.

The images are inspired by different actors and the characters they portrayed in various films. kannagi khanna is a Mumbai-based freelance photographer

Dressed in dreams Frames from Ashok Misra’s y

Balraj Sahni Posing as Shambhu Mahato in Bimal Roy’s Do Bigha Zameen

Kishore Kumar The unforgettable Vidyapati (aka Guru) in Padosan

Dev Anand As the evergreen hero in Baazi, the 1951 classic directed by Guru Dutt

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Guru Dutt Characters played by this legendary actor-director were often melancholic and defeated in love

Ashok Kumar Dressed up as the man the industry lovingly called Dadamoni

Raj Kapoor In the shoes of the showman who idolised Charlie Chaplin

Mehmood The man of many laughs as seen in Gumnaam, a murder mystery

Prem Chopra The much-loved baddie of Bollywood boasted an inimitable style

Shammi Kapoor As the amboyant and energetic hero of Teesri Manzil

Sunil Dutt Dacoit dramas were synonymous with this popular actor

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Laughed off the set Is the comedian in Indian cinema, specifically Bollywood, in danger of fading out?

Bura na mano, Holi Hai Swear words are part of our culture, a part of our religious make-up, say the people of Varanasi pti

achche din. Bihar chief minister Nitish Kumar was a form of abuse and now it is only accept- si, it is expected that he will initiate the conand his bête noire Jitan Ram Manjhi were not able if we rebrand it as something cool or cos- versation with a string of expletives. “If spared either. Lalu Prasad and Mulayam Singh mopolitan. We have never needed someone were to simply ask, ‘Kya Rameshji, Yadav remained perennial favourites. Some- Bollywood’s sanction. Mumbai, though, cer- aap uth gaye kya?’ (So Rameshji, have you Beyond the rat pack Rajpal Yadav is a rare contemporary actor-turned-comedian afp woken up?), the only inference would be that one even punned on Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s tainly needs it.”

Gaalis or expletives, known to many in rural the caller has suffered a sudden onset of senilsurname to help flush Indian cricket down a eteran and theatre actor Na- mode were saidundergone to have beena usurped Uttar Pradesh as gaaris, ity,” says Vishal, a laugh. thelatter case toilet bowl.

Withcinema everybody being fair game of delivery that has the rolewith of the comicMaking actor, the seeruddin Shah once remarked that change,” liberally hurled during weddings Rama, too thatisthere is a difference betweenJoshi mouthing and no sexual depravity a taboo, Varanasi’s he says.

Joshi the feels that as aofsociety discovering newer pastures. points everyseemed big Hindi film isatinspired by evolves, Krishna so and The scriptures prescribe abuses abusive, the poet refers on to permissibility expressly odds with doShiva. its stereotypes.

“When cinema out thatand thebeing audience no longer depends in some way. censure.

Not just began that when devotees light pyre on the night the tradition Mar HoliCompeting in the nearby Mumbai’s Shakespeare prohibition and the State’s in India the roles of acharacters were set: cinema alone of forLath comic relief. for direct adaptations such as Vishal Bhardwaj’s There beforewas Holi, they must bidand farewell to montowns of Nandgaon Barsana. “Every year, a virtuous, brave ideal hero; an hearty laughs are theand proliferation of comedy Omkara (Othello) or Haider stersvillain; with athe barrage of curses.

Dharmsheel thousands get their heads broken.

Not The might of the cuss word (Hamlet), but nar- evil vamp; the virtuous damsel-in- shows on of TV,men stand-up comedy acts, social ratives andstage characterisations too ‘roast have maslong distress Chaturvedi pointsand outathat the many villages media a singlevideos FIR gets registered.

Why should anyTaking the as the designated heroine; comedian to provide peddling everything from slapfed the Shakespearean oeuvre.

The Comedy nearhumour.”

Varanasi still keep alivechanging the tradition of stick one then object to insult, the traditions here?” ter’ off in Mumbai, Karan Johar had prudently re- the Apart from archeto satire and and easily accessible of Errors inspired Gulzar’s with Sanjeev invoking gods withtoexplicit ditties during the international In keeping with Varanasi’s unconventional minded his audience thatAngoor, the language used types, Joshi points the changing narratives comedic content.

The comic acKumar Deven Varma sharing awould rollicking months by of filmmakers. spring. The For 81-year-old had tor traditions, theof advent of Holi also sees thenow anduring and the course of the evening only pursued instance,poet the hero edged out a designated movie role time on screen, well as DoinDooni Chaar with is been in first bringpublication of a Kamath booklet get filthier.

The as disclaimer Varanasi wasn’t noinstrumental longer the ‘idealist’ or just romantic: has several nual lucrative alternatives.

Kishore and Asit Sen.Trivedi, GoliyonPresident Ki Raslee- “Facets Manthan.

60thtoissue ing together a motley bunch ofsuch as rebel- largely agrees named quite soKumar long-drawn.

Rajan previously unexplored, with this, but isThe quick add la: Ram-Leela (2013)Academy had the Romeo-Juliet temwasfour recently circulated through his peers during Holi of 1969. of the Bhartendu and organiser of liousness and the anti-establishmentarianism, that despite the million hits for All India plate lovers. the started sammelan, says, “EveryEven time you an underground The For the next three decades, the Holiofkavistar-crossed seeping into the his Bakchod’s Roast network. on YouTube, In Varanasi, everyone less-known Loveofstarring Bhoopalam hear a fresh10ml burst abusesNeil being fired on characterisation.” listed events address its too printer — Holi sammelan flourished under such areofstill few in is waiting for death. and is ahear contemporary onna A his aegis. Chaturvedi, who is also stage,Koel youPurie will also the apology take — Bura ‘ISI’s Islamabad headquarters’. number and the stand-up comePeople have nothing Midsummer Night’s Dream.

(Please don’t take offence. It’s Humour mano. Holi Hai! a senior in advocate, makes an inApart from couplets about the the situation dy space remains niche. to be afraid of here.

As for the staple clown, Holi!)”

Unlike the AIBShakespearean Roast, which had asked a Independent teresting legal distinction. prime minister’s many assumed filmmaker “The and The situation is It’s not that they are rustic or uneducated fool figure whoeach relied 4,000-strong crowd to pay ₹4,000 forona critic Supreme CourtKamath has ruled that proclivities, Sudhish concurs, Hero takes all the compilation emerging being carelessaswith low to evoke laughter, Hindi cinema seat,comedy Trivedi insists that Varanasi benefits by but whatis is obscene and what isn’t published ‘signed’ by the wary of sweeping generalAuthor andpieces film critic Anupama the clown what they’re saying. has churned out a constellation these — isations. not charging its patrons a single of dime.

“We can only Present-day be determined by cineconlikes of Asaram The of magaHindi Chopra thinks Bapu. the role the It’s just that from Walker,toMehmood, Asrani don’t Johnny expect anyone pay a tax or a fee.back The ma’s text. sensibility There are temples in Puri zine, though, not entirely is changing and comic actor inisHindi cinema text has they’re carefree in the day toisJohnny Lever, Kapoor, and Sat- directors atmosphere convivial, andShakti the powerful that haveare onlooking their walls heavy. Explicit pornographic picto therepreWest receded with the diversification ish Kaushik and Rajpalunmasked.”

Yadav more recently. corrupt get routinely sentations of bestiality.

If you tures of its pages. for inspiration.

The aesthetic is of thelined hero’smost character, whichDeofIn the “masala fare” Bollywood out maturing According to Anil Chaubey, it isdishes precisely can’t call that it’s also spite ashades disclaimer that itshowevpages and offensive, familiar motifs or devices, like ten takes on comic as well.

She, routinely, the comedian has beenVaranasi’s a key ingresuch subversion that separates lo- the wrong to derivative use the label forjester cuss or clown, are er, doesn’t see are use only’, copies stage of the it for as a‘personal recent development.

“As freely handssuch across class dient alongside thefrom rest of cast ofrefinehero, being cal indecorousness thethe seeming wordsdiscarded. employed in our poetry and songs.” of Manthan far back as the lateexchange 1950s, actors as Kishdivides.

Connoisseurs even pay ₹1,000 for isheroine, villain, sidekicks, et al. Except, perment of its urban AIB counterparts.

Though He believes directors such as Anurag Kash- ore Kumar began to dabble in comedy.

Most sues not in circulation. haps, the wasn’t laughs are and far be- yap, Chaubey ablegetting to see fewer the contentious Get insulted, famous Dibakar get Banerjee and Farhan Akhtar are recently, Aamir Khan in PK essentially played Shankar Jai breaksand into the songrole at the tween.

It’s been a while a loutish “Aaoo roast before it was pulledsince down from the Net, at Badari Vishal is aofcentral figure Comedy in Varanasi’s the forefront this change. and theJailead protagonist ofdrop the of a listener’s hat. Could When convinced has Lolitha!”

— made famous Shaktiresorted Kapoor to in humour the poet believes that AIBby comics poetry circuit. confesses thatto, a few patrons clown,” are noHe longer limited or dependshe says. this soundthat the he death enjoyment) of captured the masti (raucous the 1984 film Tohfa — has captured the cineexpletives on stage because the utterance of ent on Holi oftencharacter make their the stage to knell on, one butway flowtothrough confor comedians?

“Not quite,” Chopra says.

Holi with some success, lists the many fan’s imagination.

Is the in Indian versations four-letter words has nowcomedian become “fashionaleave him with a fewcharacters thousand rupees. between instead.“They “The Despite the nepotism inhe the industry, if aqualrealBelly situation ities of his city.whose It is only his stupor that intercinema, specifically Hindito cinema, ble”. He makes reference the Delhigoing have just one request. as They theirhenames is emerging thewant clown,” adds. ly good actor strengths lie in comedy song ‘DKanBose’ and soon begins to whittle Regional rupts his eloquence.

“Kashi a world unto through existential crisis? added to cinema, the list oflargely those insulated who are going be alone from to such comes along, he will isfind takers; aldown the etymology of the word b****e. “You global itself. Nobody abusedshifts that and evening.” clarifies slow toMasochism, evolve, continues to though he mayhas no been longerable playtoa understand one-dimenthink it’s archetypes a cuss word, but it is essentially a hold this place.

It possesses an otherworldly Changing Vishal, is notfor the motive that dictates their a place the traditional comic act, he sional character.

Moreover, while power.

Hindi composite ofand threeadman words Prasoon in Sanskrit — bho, Its identity beevolved mappeditin its hasn’t untroubled Scriptwriter Joshi be- makes largesse.

“These people want their names an- cinema clear. maycan have still quite sad and ike. together, they mean — “It’s Is everyjoyousness.”

Sanskrit scholar andsheveteran lieves it’s a Put question of perspective. not nounced on loudspeakers and audio CDs. rid itself of stock characterisations, adds. thingthe well you these days?

Mughals journalist Amitabha Bhattacharya might raise that rolewith of comedy, be it light,The slapstick, ir- Newer They want to get famous.” avenues jayaram were the or firstsatire, to spread the lie that the an eyebrow at Jai’s claims, but even he conreverent has diminished.

It isword the While When male friend callsplot another in to Varanainasome ways the seems have pradipti

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cedes that the effects of Shiva worship have helped give Varanasi its air of unfettered autonomy. “In the other cities of the world, everyone is simply trying to survive, but they’re ultimately dying. In Varanasi, everyone is waiting for death. People have nothing to be afraid of here. It’s not that they are being careless with what they are saying. It’s just that they are carefree.”

The bohemian nature of Shaivism is also said to culminate in a linguistic transference of sorts. Expletives of a phallic nature are all considered derivatives of Shiva’s divine linga (phallus). Besides, the god of destruction is thought to be a receptacle of all things abject — the snake around his neck, the poison in his throat, the ash smeared on his body. It is assumed that crummy language is something such a deity would heartily celebrate. Holi then becomes a tailor-made carnival for revelries in a starkly Dionysian city. As Bhattacharya explains, “The extra-constitutional liberty which Holi provides allows us to accept anything that gets uttered.”

Despite this pervasive sanction, not every- River of revelry Poet Anil Chaubey sits on the banks of Assi Ghat, where the Holi sammelan was initially one takes kindly to Varanasi’s unique mix of organised shreevatsa nevatia Break free Leading trash talk and political satire. In 1980, district musicians like Pandit he sees in somagistrate Bhure Lal took umbrage when in- known to most by his nom de plume Chaka- to the inequalities and inequities Venkatesh Kumar have you could formed of the invectives lavishly meted out by chak Banarasi. Before Srivastava died of cancer ciety. The role of a rebel, decided that say, thereisishis poets during the annual Holi sammelan. He in 1999, he had invented an entire genre of ir- gazetted post.” An employee roomofforthe playUttar Prak ananthan Srivastava was depredictably pressed for a ban. The city’s poets reverence. Politicians, priests, even Mahatma desh sales tax department, felt further emboldened. They gathered in Gandhi made for ready fodder. Bhojpuri litter- clared dead by his office months before he MANJH much the KHAMAJ same way they had done every year. ateur Chandrakant Singh is 72, and even could retire. His colleague Baburam Shastri is Bhure Lal was singled out in their disparaging though he chuckles when saying that Holi similarly frustrated with the travails of his verse and when his convoy appeared in the helps make devars (brothers-in-law) of old workplace and says that he can only write sacrowd, the official was greeted with a dash of men like him, he turns suddenly sombre tirical verse because “pain is a vital ingredient colours and inflated condoms. The district when lamenting a drop in literary standards of poetry”. Compared to his peers, Shastri’s poems seem demure. “I like staying magistrate supposedly succumbed and quick- since Srivastava’s demise. “It is away from vulgarity,” he admits. ly gave his assent. Legend also has it that for- the quality of satire that has tak“I leave before everyone starts mer Uttar Pradesh chief minister Kamalapati en a beating. These days, people their abuse.” The aversion felt by Tripathi had laughed out loud when he heard just drop these expletives. DurWe have never Shastri is not uncommon in the that a poet had questioned the sanctity of his ing Chakachak’s time, every needed Bollywood’s city’s poetic community. Anil relationship with his daughter-in-law. Here, word, good or bad, had behind it sanction. Mumbai, hidden rhetoric.”

Chaubey once of perthe the fuss that surrounded AIB’s roast his year, at the Dover Lane would Music aswers, most of them not ‘correct’. Does the ra- pray (I certainly do) for the made artistemost to not though, certainly immunity offered

by PuriyadhaHoli samAjay Kumar Srivastava considperhaps be more amusing than the roastwas it- ga-time Conference, in Kolkata, there relationship, then, hold only for an form raga Puriya, Puriya Kalyan, needsnashree, it “For 364 days, we remain melans.

Chakachak his literary masself. Though AIBdiscussion comics have cancelled some about Pandittheir Ven- ers advanced listener?

Marwa or Shree. caged.

That one feels like and has given himself theAshwini Bhide all-India tour in the face of controversy, katesh Kumar’s choice of raga.they Ku- terI discussed this with vocalist The broader question is if day it makes any arunabha deb abandon served on a isplatter.” allonym Banshould consider in Kashi.

Theraised city’s fitting mar sang Yaman.aArevival few eyebrows were Deshpande.

She Chapachap does not deny the role of con- sense to literalise an expression that meant Chaubey, soon Though seems to agree audiences knowstarted how toaround take a joke. because hiscertainly performance 11pm arasi. ditioning, buthe emphasises that there is an in- to be abstract.

Just likehowever, it is possible totired enjoyofa cacophony that cameintothe define those merSingh’s assessment ofaatime decline, hehow ar- the — past the ‘appropriate’ time for performing with herent connection between of day; poem about the dawn evening, or a evenings.

“Peoplethe would be tearing each that poetry in Varanasi hasn’t lostenits ry Beyond Hawas not the first time that listen- gues the raga.Ha This we feel at that time; and howstill certain notes painting depicting monsoon in winter, kurtas.

Outward sophistication edge.feeling.

“The only a poet has to give other’s Almost all ofLane Varanasi’s poetsoccasion acknowledge ers at Dover have found to fussa defiant hance that Shething recounted an experithen why not Yaman at midnight?

Also, left rerepressed.

Moreover, when organisers profanity.

That is his right.

It is his certain to Revati Raman Srivastava, over suchdebt an anomaly.

A few years back Pandit is ence with middle-school students inresponse a village men strictive interpretation perhaps works only in Varanasi of Mehdi those Vinayak Torvi sang Miyan ki Malhar (in Janu- in Uttarakhand where she only sang an alaap outside theory and not inheard actualrecordings experience. they quickly stereotyped and ary) and on another occasion, Ustad Amjad Ali in Raga Bhairav (without any lyrics). She then gatherings, Hassan’s immortal ghazal Ek Bas Tuhiyou Nahi is your poetry as indecent. hesitated Khan had played Jhinjhoti early in the morn- asked the students to describe classic MiyanThey ki Malhar.

Butwhen does inviting you that to their stage.invoke One daythe adversely ing (this year, too, he played Durga early in the an image that the alaap conghazal rains? impacted your entire year.”

Chaubey now morning). Every time this happens, the ‘con- jured in their minds. The reEven if we take lyrics out oftravthe els the country and sometimes the noisseurs’ relish the opportunity to shake sponses she got were — three equation, and consider theworld. ragas The imposition of While much of poetry is decorous he their heads. Instead of lamenting this practice hills with the sun rising from beinhis their absolute form, today, it would time is often as much still has people asking for something “non-a and viewing it as an affront to traditional per- tween them; a figure of Nataraj; be difficult to justify aligning a burden for the veg” backstage. isn’t formance norms, it might be more useful to and a mother cleaning a courragaDharmsheel exclusively Chaturvedi along a time of listeners as for surprised. Heday hasor studied enough psychology wonder why senior artistes are disregarding tyard at dawn. Each corresponda season, leaving out myrthe artistes to conclude that ‘sublimation’ can be a seducthe raga-time anomaly. ed perfectly with Bhairav. iad other possibilities. sammelans used serve tive force. “These Raga and time have forever been a couple.

Carnatic musicians, though, Critics continue totouse theasra-a catharsis for everyone.”

Each raga corresponds to one of the eight pra- are unfettered by the raga-time ga-time theory as a punching Women, though, are obviously excluded hars in a day, and a musician is expected to per- theory. They are free to play Malbag. Musicians are habitually atarticulation form it accordingly. There are also ragas that kauns at midday. Carnatic vocalist TM Krishna from tackedChaturvedi’s for their incorrect choiceofof‘everyone’. raga for a husbands they memorise correspond to different seasons. A listener’s had told me that the treatises in Carnatic mu- Many particular time ofconfess day. Thethat conclusions drawn choicestthan versenecessary: to repeatlack to their wivestaabeexperience is supposedly enriched when s/he sic do specify times of day for the ragas, but the are harsher of proper closed doors, but of misogyny and listens to a raga at the ‘correct’ time. Darbari these guidelines have been ignored across the hind lim and a disregard forwhiffs tradition, are the most only for exaggerated thean comKanada holds the grandeur of the night, and board. He said that he is sure that in the past patriarchy common. Itare is silly anyone toby take exwomen from theraga-time Varanasi Bhairav the solemnity of the morning. hundred years, performers have not paid heed plete tremeabsence positionof with respect to the livediscussion in a male chauvinistic soBut how much of this association is a conse- to the raga-time specifications. Krishna’s hy- Town theory,Hall. but“We more on the subject is a fact cannot escape,” says quence of conditioning? An accustomed lis- pothesis is that practicality trumped all else: ciety wouldand be that welcome.

It we is perhaps time to give Bhattacharya.

“A poettowrites his potener, who knows that Bageshree is a night most of the concerts were held in the evening, Amitabha more generous consideration the dissentfor therather adultthan of a rejecting household andoutright it is still raga, is likely to associate another raga with so the artistes figured that it made more sense etry ing voices them unfortunately assumed that the adult islike allargely similar notes — say Rageshree or Ba- not to limit themselves to the evening ragas. as upstarts. Now that leading musicians keen observer of societal shifts geshri-ang Chandrakauns — with the same This had once prompted Pandit Ravi Shan- ways Ustadmale.”

AmjadAAli Khan and Pandit Venkatesh his city, does not time of day. S/he may or may not be right, but kar to say that the Carnatic musicians, in this in Kumar haveBhattacharya, decided that however, there is room for change.

“Poets and feel bulls, like kings the conditioning will push the listener in a regard, have been much smarter than their discount play, more musicians might encouraged ascetics, free-willed. particular direction. Every time I have asked Hindustani counterparts. The imposition of and to question theare raga-time notion.They can go friends — who are not trained in Hindustani time is often as much a burden for the listen- where they please.” music — to match ragas with times of the day ers as for the artistes. Most concerts start at arunabha deb is a Kolkata-based lawyer and a music Not censored Without sanitisation the poetry heard in Varanasi’s TownIHall hasreceived a punch that makesvarying much ofanIndian English comedy mild shreevatsa nevatia nevatia writer shubhodeb@hotmail.com or seasons, have wildly 6:30pm or so;look regular listeners are known to shreevatsa

Time to turn

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Speech bubbles

Muslim or Christian more than being French.

This brings us back to the confusion regarding freedom of speech and expression. If we believe that cartoonists had the right to portray religious figures in the way they wanted, then we also need to believe that people have the right to flaunt their religion on their bodies. “Free speech is no longer for people who need it, it’s for people with bigger microphones,” says Banerjee.

But what about back home where we repeatedly fail to protect our Hashmis, MF Husains, Salman Rushdies and Perumal Murugans? Both Unny and Banerjee are surprisingly not too worried about religious fundamentalism and consider it to be a self-destructive strategy by political parties.

Unlike in Paris, fundamentalist acts of violence in India are often committed by the majority religion. It’s both easy and hard to be a Hindu fundamentalist. Easy because violence Fields and men Hinis an easy option and difficult because This collection of huduism as a religion isn’t focused on the shortusing storiesthe contains man sphere: you can go to war name details of geography, of god and to uphold justice but not in rituals and all sorts the of name of god or to uphold his/her sanctity. work, set in the These dynamics allow us toPakistani acknowledge funcountryside bloomberg/asad zaidiasserdamentalist acts of violence as being tions of power and to think about them critically. It becomes more problematic when the repression comes from the State. Unny, for instance, is rightly more concerned about events such as the arrest of cartoonist Aseem Trivedi for his work in an activist campaign.

Trivedi launched the Cartoons Against Corruption in 2011 as part of Anna Hazare’s campaign for the Jan Lokpal Bill and later started the Save Your Voice campaign when the Mumbai Crime Branch shut down his website. Trivhe eloquent title of this book ap- elegiac quality, Natiq’s storytelling is brisk, ec- ble men of God. They are renowned not for edi as was charged with sedition and insulting pears to stem from the first sen- onomical and crackling with energy. And rare- acts of grace towards the devout, but for striknational symbols.

Fortunately, he was released tence of Ali Akbar Natiq's ‘Qaim ly, if ever, does Natiq’s world show signs of ing dread into the hearts were of doubters. on bail and the charges soon dropped.

Deen’, Story No. 3 in this translated transformation, of a ‘new way coming’. Jus- While Natiq’s a world of efficacious curses raththeisjudiciary may have rightfully procollection. “So tell me, what will you give for tice, in the ordinary sense of the word, is not er thanTrivedi effective duas. theitunsparingness tected and hisAnd work, hasn’t shown this beauty? Listen, I know it’s stolen, so be frequently achieved. Terrible things happen, of belief can the veryartistic landscape thereligious same sensitivity toturn many other crecareful how you price it,” says one Noor Deen, and they don’t often happen to terrible peo- into something stark and brutal. theVS superb ations.

Rushdie’s Satanic Verses In and Naias he strokes a buffalo’s back. ple. The rural and small town Punjab of these ‘Jeera’s the Darkness Beas startsare to dry up bepaul’s Departure’, An Area of notable But Qaim Deen answers, “Look here, Nooray, stories is a place where power triumphs over cause Pir Jatti Shah loses temper athowthe examples.

The problem of his suppression, You Give Up in arms One of theWhat mostWill significant outcomes of theI’ll Charlie killings wasNot the arenewed over what meanand by freedom takeHebdo five thousand. pennyconfusion less,” makbothwetruth beauty.of speech and expression boatmen, whilea Pir Moday Shah’s sacrificial ever, becomes more serious matter wheninit For This Beauty? afp/asger ladefoged ing it clear that Noor Deen is the potential Natiq cannot have set out to write an ethno- junction to athe villagerslevel. feedsSuch off their pre-exhappens at molecular as Mumbai Ali Akbar Natiq buyer and Qaim Deen the seller, the epony- graphic account, but this collection brims isting notions of the Yet Misthe University’s decision to river’s removewrath.

Rohinton Translated by Ali Madeeh Hashmi mous cross-border thief at this with here is a poster onthe thecentre noticeof board details of geography, rituals and all sorts enchanted cartoons might have caused. quality of thisSuch world with try’s Booker-nominated a coexists Long Journey Hamish Hamilton — dramatic, ofeventually chilling tale. York So what my classroom in New that of Commenting work. Natiq himself hasrenewed worked asdebate a mason, on this EP the the words of pirs and elders comfromprosaic, the syllabus following Aditya ThackePenguin Noor Deen ought to have tell building reads, ‘Lives are atasked stake’.was: It’s a“So poster domes minarets many years, Unny, who is theand chief politicalfor cartoonist for peting with matter-of-fact statements about ray’s (Bal Thackeray’s grandson) complaint Short stories ₹399 me, what will youfor take for this beauty?” calling volunteer doctors to help and in his stories, barbers and farmThe Indian Express,masons, and graphic novelist Sar- irrigation canals, Peter Shiv engines subcontithat the book portrays Senaand in bad light. confess that I was terribly outI must with the Ebola outbreak in WestdisconcertAfrica. But ers jostle with wrestlers andthat sto-the killing of Surely, it is more nath Banerjee both think nental realpolitik.

In institutions one story, a alarming when ed to find that the beautifully craftedHashmi. phrase, rytellers. it oddly always reminds me of Safdar The book also offers a Charlie Hebdo’s cartoonists shouldn’t be con- start practicing floodself-censorship takes place because “India in fear of picked out toand serve as introduction to Natiq’s A playwright director, Hashmi was fatally succinct commentary on the vafused as being about cartoons.

Meditated acts imagined consequences. had released the water of the Sutfictional might not actually exist with- garies woundedworld,

by Congress party workers during of history and religiontoina of violence are not reducible lej”, and inadds, ‘Jeera’s Banerjee “I’mDeparture’, beginning in I haven’t readofNatiq in the original, it Pakistani theit.performance his play Halla Bol! inbut SahiHere handful ofPunjab. cartoons andare theSikhs car“[m]any timesconcerned news came to get more by that the The fluid translation didn’t possible that seen he could have made babad seem in 1989.

I haven’t Rajkumar San- who their tohomes toons must are notleave reducible what Hindustan had stopped wamiddle class’ blind faiththe in corconjures up a world such anfilm elementary error on of everyday speech, toshi’s made based the event but I during a Sikh man just a Partition, handful and of cartoonists ter but the elders contradicted it porates.

We’ll crush out voices that does not often using one word Hashmi when hebeing meant its opposite. imagine a lanky beaten or even who on bytoconverting to Isthinkstays or want express. “Charharshly, askingnot howbyitacts wasof possiand mediums vioMeditated of find space inacts writing So was it the translator who re- lam stabbed mid-dialogue.

On should Januarybe7,held when (‘TheisShare’).

Here aregrowShias lie Hebdo about Europe’s ble forbut anyone to dam thethem river”. lence by relegating to violence are not in English sponsible: forof a mistake, or Hebdo worse,carfor made news aboutwhether the killing the Charlie so insecure the other dom- reducible to a handful theLike ing inability to livebywith the world inwe’ll which theya periphery.

Soon reach an intentional moment of glibness, of letting inant toonists erupted on the screens that surround majority especially that they people.Sunni Europe’s, are set,where Natiq’s can to often stage if stories you want be of cartoons and the the fluency of English ride roughme, rhetorical I was reminded of the same line: ‘Lives are dare not shelter own co-reFrance’s, ethos istheir becoming Juhave feel heard denouements you will need that to speak cartoons are not shod over the actual Urdu? at stake.’ ligionists (‘The Guardian’).

Here deo-Christian.

What they reducible to what just harsh.

Hierarchies too through a celebrityhere or aare corpoWas a mountain of a molehill?

One Iofmaking the most significantout outcomes of the are stories inthrough which caste has such a matter-ofachieved rigorous entrenched to be reversed.

But what human rate’s marketing campaign.”

In a a handful of Or rather, it would beconfusion in the idiom killings wasasthe renewed overNatiq what fact powerthought that noissimplistic claim of its hav- beings scholarly being eaten to achieve bleak situation suchcanas somethis, cartoonists think orare powerless and I share,byraifreedom ka pahaad a mountain from a ing we mean of—speech and expresbeen erased from Muslim sociality want can evup by their Euro-centricity,” says times be achieved by lesser creatures.

It is both young illustrator Harshad Mato express mustard seed?

But then translation is aYork, fine er sion. At the Museum of Modern Art, New again bewho madehas (thesodramatic Banerjee, far re- ‘Despair’ and comic and tragic Natiqmost hands two of his rathe,that whose recent work art, andjournalist its finesseSir depends every during grain be-a the when HaroldonEvans resigned ‘Achoo mained silent aboutthe theAcrobat’). events rare victoriesincludes against the powerful a rabbit cartoons ontoDarwin’s ing accounted for. Hebdo and Freedom of and panel on ‘Charlie Most ubiquitous ofThe all are pirs and maulvis, and a dog. expeditions for National Geoits implications.

JudeoIt seemed a pity to havethere to start thislimits way, beSpeech’ asked — “Should be any to all of them more Christian ethos thatconcerned Banerjee iswith wielding Just beforegraphic this review went to press, disTraveller India, says Isuch cause Madeeh Hashmi’s fluidwith translation artisticAli expression?” it was met stutters power than holiness.

Whether they are referring to is not limited to religion butrich en- covered thatfor Natiq a ghazal which times make morehas nuanced art.from “It’s imporunfurls a worldSuddenly, not oftenthe visible in English. and stammers. panellists — art- landlords Pir Mast in the vividly told compasses—anlike ethnic and nationalist view of dastango and actor Danishincluding Husain translates tant to criticise authority religious The work I can think of in En- ‘Shahabu’s ists only Kadercomparable Attia and Sharon Hayes, Daily Show Premonition’, “had vast An lands what it means to be Frenchwho or European. ex- one sher asfigures. follows: “What would give authority I obviously don’tyou want tofor be glish is DaniyalAasif Mueenuddin's, also seteditorin the and correspondent Mandvi, Vice news thousands followers spreadtoacross the this ample would beofFrance’s decision ban chilbeauty? the sky this lynched for itI’ve andslashed so I illustrate in aand waylet that is Pakistan countryside.

Mueenuddin has de- province in-chief Jason Mojica, historian Simon Schama Punjab”, or practically — sun dren fromofwearing veils or any otherpaupers religious ablaze on you. What more would you non-specific or vaguely associative.”

Marathe’s scribed his Karl book as “stories the farm like and satirist Sharro — who about are all generally the memorable protagonist of ‘ThelegislaMaul- want symbols in school. While the French this heart to do?”

Theingrain has beenthat acillustrations shape shift a manner and the old feudal ways, the dissolving feudal vi’s articulate and critical of repressive machinery whoban cannot complain about Ra- counted tureMiracle’, upheld this stating that it was meant for,debate. and I am glad of a less harsh mimics the order and the new wayquite coming, the sleek busi- na in their work, weren’t sure.

They agreed Farooq’sstate dog “since Ranaactivities Sahib paid for reall denouement. to separate and public from nessmen from the Butbut where that the violence wascities.” barbaric at theMueesame of the maulvi’s it is terri- blessy augustine is an art critic currently based in ligion, it is alsohousehold a symptomexpenses”, of the legislature’s New Yorkgupta is a Delhi-based writer and critic nuddin’s tales have a slow,the stately, often time did not want to belittle offence the fying mere mortals that makes them believadiscomfort with someone being a Sikh, Jew, trisha

In the debate over the freedom of speech and expression how are we to protect our Hashmis, Husains, Rushdies and Perumal Murugans?

Of pirs and Peter engines The everyday is both enchanted and stark in these crackling tales from Pakistan

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Roasted in Kashi While bans and censure have become all too common in India, ribaldry is certainly more than kosher in Varanasi. Rather than being encumbered by its religiosity, poets find their licence in this Dionysian city

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he stage is packed with the poets of make the headlines, you will be made the butt about the prime minister’s girth become repeVaranasi. The man with the micro- of a joke. Defined by comparable insolence, it titious, gods feature as protagonists in their phone pauses. For suspense. He is hard to not think of All India Bakchod’s bawdy verse. Not surprisingly, Banarasis feel starts with a chuckle. “There’s one (AIB’s) infamous ‘roast’ while listening to the honoured when they find mention in the thing that men and government files have in local poets mercilessly slam state and central day’s prurient poetry. Some even bribe poets common. They can both be left hanging for governments. Much has been said about how for a racy tribute. days.” Delivered in the local dialect, the punch AIB broke new ground with their brand of inThis year, the Lok Sabha battle between line immediately cracks up the audience of sult comedy. Evidence disproves this claim. Va- Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Aam Aad50,000 gentlemen. Some throw their heads ranasi has been roasting and mi Party chief Arvind Kejriwal back and guffaw, others whack the shoulders insulting those in power, long was predictably fresh in Varanaof their brethren. Since 5pm, men have jostled before actors Ranveer Singh and si’s mind. The latter’s resounding outside the city’s Town Hall for a spot. Glasses Arjun Kapoor smiled through a victory gave poets new ammuniThe poetry heard in of bhang-laced thandai have been passed litany of put-downs at Worli’s tion. Parasnath Jaiswal writes his Varanasi’s Town Hall around with trademark generosity. For 46 Sports Club. ribald couplets under the pen has a kind of punch years, many in Varanasi have seen their Holi Intent apart, commonalities name Chintit Banarasi. He conthat makes AIB’s culminate in this style. They customarily take between the AIB Roast and the fessed to being rather proud of affronts sound like their place in the marquee, wanting the festiv- Benares sammelan limit themtwo lines he wrote recently. In twee prattle in al of colour to be rounded off with language selves to adjectives. They are edlanguage that can only be deretrospect just as rambunctious. gy, often facetious and scribed as ‘unparliamentary’, he Varanasi’s unorthodox Holi kavi sammelan sometimes side-splittingly fundescribed how Narendra Modi’s A city we know The narrative of Don’t Let Him Know effortless moves between Kolkata and California arunangsu roy chowdhuy (gathering of poets) has no identifiable ante- ny. The content of each could shenanigans in Varanasi last year cedent. The verse that poets recite with great justifiably be thought of as dishelped give birth to an Oedipusaplomb is replete with expletives that cannot tasteful and offensive. Without the sanitisa- like son in Kejriwal exactly nine months later. be repeated in genteel living rooms, let alone tion, however, the poetry heard in Varanasi’s Another poet furthered this riff of birth and in this national newspaper. Their irreverence Town Hall has a kind of punch that makes copulation, imploring Rahul Gandhi to give — both scatological and sexual — is sometimes AIB’s affronts sound like twee prattle in retro- his mother Sonia the satisfaction of being a directed at the audience, but the real target of spect. The stuff that makes for scandal in an new grandmother. “But isn’t that how dynasty this public derision is most often popular poli- otherwise squeamish India is certainly more politics works,” he asked. ticians, administrators, cricketers. The hoary than kosher in Kashi. Rather than being enLyricists audaciously borrowed the pietistic tradition of humour demands that the power- cumbered by their holy city’s religiosity, poets tune of ‘Ram Ratan Dhan Payo’ and used that less mock the powerful. So, in Varanasi, if you here find their licence in scripture. When jibes to attack their prime minister’s promise of

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Follow the letters

Sandip Roy bends the rules of the genre to make his debut novel read like a collection of short stories. The common thread that binds the chapters is an old love note

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Don’t Let Him Know Sandip Roy Bloomsbury Fiction ₹499

arly in the first chapter of Sandip the landscape is familiar. But to Roy’s credit, Having grown up in Kolkata, lived in the US Roy’s Don’t Let Him Know is a letter. nothing in the book makes you hark back to and now returned to his home city, Roy’s deWritten by Sumit, the letter is an ad- anything you read in Lahiri’s works.) scriptions of life and lifestyles in both contimonishment to a lover for not being When we first meet her, Romola has return- nents are spot on. The non-linear structure of strong enough to stand by the relationship. ed to the US after many years. Forced by the the story and the slightly disconnected chapAmit, who has just brought his widowed traditions of widowhood, albeit self-imposed, ters both comfort and confuse the reader. A mother, Romola, to the US from Kolkata, she has eschewed non-vegetarian food. But story on young Romola’s brief dalliance with found the letter in an old address book and the burgers that dance in television advertise- an up and coming actor, left me baffled, anhands it over to her, assuming it was hers. The ments are too much for her to resist and in the chored as it was with nothing else in the book. letter, old, its paper translucent but the words first glimpse the readers has of the feistiness Yet, the device also helps the reader understill clear, is the thread that holds the book to- she hides behind the folds of her sari, she sets stand the characters from their own as well as gether. Written over 12 chapters, each of which off in an unfamiliar town looking other people’s perception of is a complete short story by itself, Don’t Let Him for a McDonald’s. In a sense, Rothem. My quibble with the Know does need a thread. But Roy’s brilliance mola’s burger dash holds in it the book is that barring Romola lies in using it sparingly as a device to quickly challenges that all of Roy’s charac(and it is hard to describe her Roy is excellent at plant many thoughts inside the reader’s head ters face — a sense of tradition and as the sole protagonist), Roy glibly capturing — several possibilities, in fact — and not a re- duty, a culture of denial, and a veil fails to create another memomotifs familiar and current trope through each of the stories. (To of secrecy. rable character. Avinash, who nostalgic, all at once be any more specific would be giving away the What makes Don’t Let Him Know piqued my curiosity the most, “secrets that have their own secrets” that the a pleasure to read is Roy’s excelremains taciturn and inscrutabook jacket promises, and so I shall desist.) lence at glibly capturing motifs fable, and Amit seems like a cardThe geography that Don’t Let Him Know occu- miliar and nostalgic, all at once. In board prop, the mandatory pies is one readers of Indian fiction are pretty the chapter titled Ring of Spices, a seven-year- child who is necessary to move the story forfamiliar with by now. Romola and her hus- old Romola carefully opens the suitcase of her ward. Yet, the book is so tightly edited that band, Avinash, grew up in Kolkata. Avinash aunt Ila who was visiting from England, and these are flaws I picked out after I was done went to the US to study and after the wedding, breathes in the fragrance of her clothes and reading it.

Romola joined him there. They lived in Ameri- cosmetics. “Lavender, lilac, rosemary,” she I had been going through a patchy reading ca for a year, then came back and “settled would whisper to herself making a daisy phase — flitting from one to another, unable to down” in Kolkata. They have a son, Amit, who chain of flowers she had never seen. Foxglove, sink my teeth into any — when I picked up takes a similar route out. Only, he meets and primrose, daffodil,” writes Roy. Who among us Don’t Let Him Know. Not only did the book keep marries an American girl and continues to live does not have a version of this experience? me in its grip for two days, I emerged from it, there. (Yes, dear reader, I know what you are And so, in a paragraph or two, Roy not only excited, clearheaded and ready for more. As thinking. Hasn’t Jhumpa Lahiri told us these sets his characters and plots in context, but al- validations go, that’s all a book requires. stories in book after book over the last decade so forces the reader to align, as well as ally, Unmasked about the prime minister’s repetitious, feature as protagonists in Varanasi’sveena bawdyvenugopal verse pti and some?When The jibes short answer is yes, muchgirth of become with the peoplegods in the story.

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DIPANKAR

saturday, march 21,21, 2015 saturday, march 2015

IS THIS REALLY HIM?

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he started keeping a beard. Who he policeman looks at the picture “See, the application form was would hide that beautiful face? It of Rahul Gandhi admiringly. “His designed before the invention of skin is so smooth,” he says. “Today photography,” says the cop. “At may be that he was hiding scars from a previous attempt, possihe may be going through bad that time, oil painting was the bly by poor quality doctor. times, but from his complexion you can only option. Naturally the poSometimes even rich people make out his destiny. We asked for identify- lice were unwilling, because compromise due to price.” ing marks, but they could not provide any. transportation of large canHis skin is without blemish. I asked about vases was involved, hence we “But if his face becomes different, won’t this cause confuhis moisturiser, but they refused to answer. invented this application sion in the Congress?” I ask.

In the application form, under ‘complex- form. Now it is coming handy.

“Suppose they worship the ion’, I wrote ‘flawless’’’.

We suspect that this is a case of person mistake?”

I too am excited. I am on the verge of Gentle plastic surgery withouta permit. giant Kiran Nagarkar, literary heavyweight, is like the man nextwrong door sushil kumar by verma “Perhaps he does not want to breaking the biggest investigation of my Initially, face is always a little be worshipped. Perhaps we are career, one that has far-reaching implica- kachcha. It takes about two to not worthy of him. Or he tions for the nation. “That was when we got three weeks to become pucca. may be trying to avoid suspicious,” he says. “How can anyone’s That’s exactly the period Arnab. This is not skin glow like this? Same question can be for which he’s been raised about Madhuri Dixit.” missing. This is the first time someone has “Is this why you wanted details of his ap- not a new undergone pearance?” I ask. “Because, otherwise, pho- thing.

We plastic surgery tographs and videos of him are readily have had in order to available. You can tell what he looks like our suspiavoid Arnab. from them. You have to use something cions evThe situation called Google.” er since

SHOVON CHOWDHURY is chief Truthdigger and author of The Competent Authority

could be similar to that in the motion picture Face/Off, wherein identity was changed by an exchange of faces. Alternately, he may be replacing himself with some type of duplicate or humshakal. Here also, you need two to three weeks, so that you do not notice the minor differences. By the time this is published, it could be that he is back in the public eye. Or it could be that we are still waiting. Either way, from now on, whenever you look at his face, you have to ask yourself the simple question: Is this really him?”

The character writer

Kiran Nagarkar, who has recently published his once-banned play Bedtime Story, on retellings of the Mahabharata and why it remains relevant

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n a season of bans, maverick writer Kiran actor plays Draupadi and Gandhari as well as as a writer. He says, “I have to know what the Nagarkar is back with a book which is old present-day Rupali, a widow, and Salma, a character wants. I don’t care what the public Dear Harikesh, yet new.

HarperCollins has published woman from East Pakistan. wants.” His English novel Cuckold is a fine I,Bedtime too, wasStory, horrified byhe thewrote injustice done a play nearly 40 Nagarkar deftly splits the tales along the so- study of a fascinating character: the Rajput to our dear Hema Malini. That anyone years ago,very along with a screenplay, Black Tulip. cial grain. Arjun is a high-caste medical stu- prince spurned by his wife Meera Bai who had watched Sholay this is cenunIn who its 40has years, Bedtime Storycan hasdo survived dent while Ekalavya is an untouchable become a saint. These days, he says, many writthinkable. part of a dangerous and sorship, bansThis andisobscurity.

Heavily slashed medical student. His Ekalavya does not gift his ers present market plans not book proposals. trend of victimising heroines. byrising the Maharashtra censor board, it alsoWhat faced own thumb to Guru Dronacharya. When Dro- “The entire model has changed.” we say a nationgroups, that does not valthecan wrath of about fundamental which did nacharyaor I thought, letposition me do this on a regu-for he someone of hurting demands theaccused gift, he says, “so be it,” ticipant.

He has a unique in literature ueallow its heroines?

This has beenitan ongoing not it to be staged though was private- and “bends thedown, sentiments of aevery basis, anda then income is I picks up little religious earth, spits larhas made namemy in Marathi asassured. well as English First, were so many cruel ly process. circulated and there read. However, a genial Na- in it, moulds with my local cycle-walcommunity the ofcountry, he worked out a deal it into theinshape writing.

Straddling the two jokes does aboutnot Aliaparade Bhatt. Then voters rejected garkar his victimhood.

He a thumb,looks cheerful. “Ev- lah. Unfortunately, due allows to pressure work,views placessurprisingly it on a leaf, goes worlds him of critical both and Rakhi Sawant, says theGul playPanag did run in theatres but didnot not to do down Byboth. mistake carried themost Bi- peoeryoneoninhisjail is congratulating knees and offers it me,” he I got confused. of At a Itime when mention Jaya Prada. commercially well for various reasons. ble into a madrasa, at him which point other he says,Dronacharya “because this isina new thing, which to cupped ple like wrote in English, Moonthe Moon Sen was the only silver linUnlike complex, self-conscious craft of hands.” no one had thoughtpresents of. It’s a good very angry and beat me up. Why As Ekalavya the source writing in Marathi.

These days,members Nagarkargot began After that, police been relentlessly hising. play, Black Tulip the have screenplay flows with thumb tried to explain thatchoose I was not in a posiof regular income.” get many Iwriters to him, he says,“How “Likedid gu- you says, did he Marathi over EnPadukone. must thepursuing ease of a Deepika Bollywood story. It isYou about two ru, tion to spend much on lucky buying books, thelike idea?” my gift.”I ask. “I had recently lostpresent glish?

“I am I did not have market plans view Hemaji’s situation in the wider women: a con-woman and yoga buff Raniconand Ally Subramaniam was born in the Southjob at the agarbatti factory, so naturally but they to would SubseNagarkar’s retelling is not of think.not One listen. thing led to anothnotI book proposals West Sundarbans, but was blown away by text. I am surprised thereFielding. has beenNagarkar no reaca no-nonsense cop Regina quently Ier,” washearrested by the wasepic feeling veryarchetypal anti-Hindu.

Why don’t an where charsays. When he police began writa cyclone and washed up on the shore near tion at all from the youth.

Their ingratitude brings them together for a common cause. It acters I become a Muslim, I thought, for hurting sentiments struggle with destiny andmy reliing religious in English, he saw a of fascism Chennai. He was adopted by a poor is shocking.

When theywith are in a dispute shares one crucial feature Bedtime Story: moral all parties concerned.’ gion does not deserve me. ButanI was hesdilemmas.

However, around Marathi, which he had Brahmin family from Tirupur. He can with their VC, thousands of them are both show Nagarkar’s deep commitment to other itant due to the thousands of years of “What’s the nextHestep Mahabharata interpreter never expected. was for so trouanswer all your questions. Just send them themarching character.the streets with banners, shoutyou?”

“Theliterary police say I have to for tradition.

Then I thought, but if I Iravati bled by the from Maharashtra, anthropologist Marathi establishment to askallysubramaniam@gmail.com. ing angry slogans. they retellhave Since Bedtime Story isFor an Deepika, experimental religion.

Thisthat means want, said, I can“All joinhuman a ghar efforts wapsi proKarve, are fruitless, all “betrayingfix hismy mother tongue” he slid innothing. seems their hearts ithave ingdone of several talesItfrom Mahabharata, falls human gramme, a HinduNagarkar re- to medical depression. only one-time payment. I am lifeand endsbecome in frustration...” to stone. ear Ally, in turned the category of ‘offence art’. But that ought jigs again. to one programme currently evaluating differ-NagartheI went Mahabharata tales to emphasise its Quite unlike high-minded writers, It just goes to show the decline in nationHema Malini has been thrown not to be the case as the Mahabharata is not contemporary and observed the process.

It was“Ekalavya has kar does not carry ent an offers, which social relevance. auraafter of pride andIis too al values.

The situation is such, we are not out of the BJP National Commit- simply a text but a literary tradition.

Retellwillsays take a call.used So far, simple andHenot no quota. is time-consuma self-made man. His tale gentle to argue. He authors to be naeven valuing If intrinsic a nationpart doesofnot tee. When will this stop? ings have alwaysbeauty. been an the shines Christianity is they looking ing. They gave onelight boxon of lada different the current stereo- ive, if not innocent, and today have bevalue beauty,tradition. then what Nagarkar is its future?

Regards, Mahabharata has the typing doos, one cycle, a small They’re of the Dalitand youth as inefficient and un- come smart. Nowgood. in his 70s, offerhe is the Harikesh, Rudraprayag sameYours actoraffectionately, play different Ally. roles in the play, em- deserving,” a motorcycle.” amount of he cash to each parsays. quintessential maning next door. phasising the continuity of moral dilemmas Nagarkar is an old-fashioned, self-effacing The Investigator is a fortnightly round-up of all things droll and newsy.

All views arepresent personal.

Really and social injustices to the age.

Onepersonal man t@shovonc who never compromises with his ethics dharminder kumar is a Delhi-based journalist

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takeaway talk

saturday, march 21,21, 2015 saturday, march 2015

Between a rock Women with voices and a wet place THE CRITICAL ISSUE

Travel log Get there

Fly in to Oslo from where Geiranger is a seven to eight hours by road. Or, fly from Oslo to Alesund and drive. The best approach is to take a ferry down the fjords from Hellesylt, a short drive from Alesund.

Acknowledging and cheering the women who dared to speak out against the system The dreamy landscape around a Norwegian village inspires a hike to a waterfall

Stay

Hotel Union’s strategic position on a hill offers stunning fjord and mountain views (www.hotelunion.no). Hotel Geiranger is a homey establishment closer to the fjord and a good starting point for walking trails (www.hotelgeiranger.no) Tip

Visit the Norwegian Fjord Centre at Geiranger for a complete overview of the region’s natural history, culture and traditions through multimedia exhibits. Don’t miss the interesting local crafts and souvenirs store.

Fjord country Geiranger, which boasts a place on the Unesco World Heritage List, epitomises Norway’s stunning natural beauty shutterstock

We trekked uphill for an hour, stopping to drink icy water out of gushing rivulets; popping juicy red berries into our mouths; pausing to gape at stunning vistas of crumpled green peaks melting into the clouds, catching sudden glimpses of the winding fjord miles below us. The muted clang of bells strung around out-of-sight sheep provided the soundtrack to our climb. There was no trace of a human being for miles on end.

Hail the speaker As a society we must lend support to those like Soni Sori (inset) who The roar of the waterfall was distinct after made their battles public v sreenivasa murthy 45 minutes into the walk; we heard its thundering beneath our feet. We came upon a suduzette Jordan, the woman who chose that even if he’s committed a crime, he is not consequences it does?

Devi, isoden meadow — a Take flat, Bhanwari circular patch of grass to bravely speak out about being gang the person who will suffer a lifetime of regret latedbefore in her village, confronted economthe final approachby toanthe fall. Rocky raped in Kolkata two years ago, died and shame. He was not nervous, he had no ic boycott against her family of potters; take We outcrops jutted out beyond the cliff edge. last week after a short stint in hospital. fear; just a sense of impunity. the young woman courage to on promptly took who turnshad to the plonk ourselves She was 40.

Indeed many men accused of sexual assault speakthose out narrow about sexual harassment at over the the ledges of rock to look In a movingntribute towe hersay mother, Jordan's Norway, kids learn to ski beand rape know that oncesits they get end out, of there Geiranger village at the the mahands of her high-profile boss, RK Pachauri; edge of the world.

18-year-old daughter, Rhea, said: “She was fore they learn to walk,” saidthe Trine,will a be a family to receive them, along system in take theInintern jestic S-shaped, 20-kilometre Geiranger who spoke against a judge. that moment, weout were truly alone. only person I know who has, from the in beginNorwegian transplant Dublin, which many will secretly look on region. them with fjord in Norway’s Sunnmøre We’d arOr takeRock-hewn, Soni Sori, accused beingled a Maoist slipperyofstairs us down a ning till the very end, been true to and admiration. with a big laugh.

Myherself, head promptly even of a career in slicrived byAnd ferrysometimes from the village Hellesylt, and twisting anti-national, fearless in the speaking out path. We skirted bare mountain learned from her mistakes, even though she atfilled with visuals of diaper-clad toddlers politics they may,bordered at some by point, be against ing where through waters abandoned and the State. faceher onjailors a ledge wide enough to let only one madetached one too of them. mepiste. tomany comically largeShe skisshowed going off calledfarms upon to speak against the verysilver Orperson perched atopout massive cliffs.

Seven take Jordan herself. humiliatpass at a time.Repeatedly The metal chain that janthat no one isthe perfect, and I’d that we shouldn’t It wasn’t first time conjured up such an crimeribbons of which they are guilty. cascade down a 250-metre high rock- gled between ed during rape trial deus and the sheer dropbyprovided judgeimage. anyone...

When I grow Norway up I want be SepWhen I’d visited in to early Surely something facethere — the is Seven Sister falls; on the opposite little comfort. fence Milky-white lawyers, whowater resorted to cascaded like my Mother, real.” tember lastbe year, I’d repeatedly been told that wrong withanother a systemwaterfall in which called bank, parading herabove underwear in fallfrom a crag our heads, For“babies Jordan,here theare decision to speak to had born with skis.” out, Winter criminals can speak withthe con-distinct the Wooer cuts court, and a hostile she ing straight alongjudge, the mountain Surely there is something choose to be as yet, herself, a woman begun to identified creep in, and on foggy mornings, fidence about their into crimes shape of a bottle the rock. refused to be Inface into thecowed valley down. below, leaving wrong with a system in who runners was a rape survivor, andslopes, a fighter, could each jogged up steep greeting and The those they legend attack behind feel the cheesy stead, continued to into speak, but she a sliver of space which The roar the which criminals canofspeak not have been And “Hei!” yet Jordan spoke,were not pepother witheasy. a cheery The fjords ashamed stigmatised. nameand rivals Indian folklore: the to we fight, only for herself werenot wedged.

On that precipwas distinct with waterfall confidence about only to her family and friends,kayakers. not only The to the pered with enthusiastic hiking In wooer a New constantly York Times article proposed to but also others. ice, wefor stood, awestruck, fright45and minutes their after crimes thoseinto media, butwere alsobusy. at training with why trails It’s not workshops hard to imagine aboutthe rape in the US army, Ma-refused seven sisters; they Women of courage these. ened, thrilled. the walk; heard its they attack feelwe ashamed lawyers, and judges, police, describing Norwegians placeand a premium on the active, ry F Calvert describes howthe sheman to each time, driving We do not acknowledge them the A sheer curtain of white, thundering beneath and stigmatised whatoutdoor happenslifestyle. to sexual assault victimsonly andimagWith landscapes happened upon the story of the bottle. enough.

Were itlike not afor their liwater roared hundred our feet survivors institutions thatquality are meant ined in inthe fairytales, and air that to injects army rape, andbleary how she At 7am, eyed,was we stood words, question of sexual ons. the Clouds of water droplets provide justice, that these newthem life into yourdemanding lungs, I wouldn’t want to horrified to find as notOve only how rudin a huddle returned violence would rose like mistbe inshrouded the wind,in showinstitutions reform themselves, waste those precious few become daylightmore hours inmanydy-cheeked stories there were, but mornfrom an early anering even us deeper withsilence: a cold,imagbut welsensitive. time she did so, she was nerv- also how doorsEvery either. of the women ing many kayaking trip. who Thehad been ine living a life, sometimes in proximity to the come, spray. ous, fearful, strong.

In thebut Unesco World Heritage Site of Geirantargeted were, even years, ‘harassed, moderately easy after two-kilometre trail wound perpetrator of violence, knowingofthat you can I’ve I’ve trekked to dozens waterfalls.

I was remindedthe of great this when I shunned, ger,powerfully I finally experienced Norwegian drummed outWesterås of their reup a ridiculed, mountainside in the Valley, neverstood mention it. they Thousands of women liveddown where originate and looked watched the much-talked and unfortuoutdoors.

We’d had aabout, late night of too much giments’; many were suffering from leading to Storseterfossen, or thepost-trauStorseter Wathrough during Partition their rape length; I’ve swum in theand poolsnever they crenately titled, documentary Daughter.

As salfood: tender elk meat,India’s pork chops, potato maticterfall. stress disorder.

At the base lay a basket containing spokeate; about Ourunder historythem is poorer for their this, imI’ve it. stood and felt the accused, heldYet, forth about ad, cold Mukesh cuts, andSingh, what not. when Ove, the What does canes it taketofor totheir speak out with bamboo aidwomen hikers in walk, but our activism, our campaigns, determimense pressure on my back;our but never, ever, rape guide, and men who rape, and women who, mentioned a trekking route thatacled beabouta sexual violence?

As story afteratstory little note to return them the tells end. The nation areI been enriched by one. the words the spot have behind In this and strange cording toahim, invitesome rape,ofhe deadpan, hind waterfall, uswas insisted on going, us, the costs are high, thewas consequences somewell-marked trail paved with steady courage of those who choose speak. between a rock and a verytowet place, I’ve found with even not an of regret.

He spoke with the if iota it meant an earlier-than-usual morntimesstones terrible.

And yet, how can silence the almost throughout.

Such isbeNorway’s my new favourite waterfall-viewing angle. blink@thehindu.co.in ease ing and outdoors. confidence someone A of trek throughwho the knows Norwegian only dedication option, why to must outthat carryin thelittlethespeaking outdoors, mountainside? Sure. Hike behind a waterfall? known Geiranger, a town of barely 200 peo- malavika bhattacharya is a freelance writer based in Delhi Just too much to pass up. ple, every need of a hiker is addressed.

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Urvashi Butalia is an editor, publisher and director of Zubaan

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Something to chew on Making marshmallows, the pillow-soft treats, is a badge of honour for the brave cook

Rose Marshmallow Makes 25-30 pieces 1/4 cup + 1/4 cup water 4 tsp gelatin 1 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup corn syrup 1/4 tsp rose extract Pink food colouring, according to preference 1/4 cup icing sugar 1/4 cup corn starch

1 In a large mixing bowl, pour 1/4 cup water and add the gelatin to it and let it soak until the sugar syrup is ready.

2 In a pan, heat 1/4 cup water, sugar and corn syrup on a low flame. Keep stirring until the sugar is melted (make sure this happens before it comes to a boil).

3 Once the syrup reaches 115°C, or the hardball stage, take it off the heat. Now pour the hot syrup in a thin stream into the gelatin mixture and start beating it with a beater set to medium-low.

4 Once the syrup is added, increase the speed to high, and beat it until stiff white and glossy. The volume will have doubled at this point. Add the essence and beat again. Now add the colour with a tooth pick or a skewer and swirl it in through Fresh take More than 90 per cent of the country’s ₹4.5-lakh-crore market for fruits and vegetables is unorganisedthe courtesy krishi naturals mixture.

5 Pour the mixture into a 7-inch square tin that has been lined with tin foil and greased with a thin layer of vegetable oil.

Let is set at room temperature for 5-6 hours.

6 Cut into 1 1/2 inch squares, and dust with the mixture of the cornstarch and icing sugar. Store in an airtight container.

Greengrocer revolution

The good old vegetable cart now comes equipped with GPS, Bluetooth and other gizmos, as a fresh bunch of start-ups connect e-savvy farmers directly to premium buyers in citiesaysha tanya

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s a food writer, it’s not too surprising that most of my childhood memories to revolve around ith seem a hoot, the green-andfood. If I hadthree-wheeled to pick three words to white electric sum up my childhood, they’donbethe pakoras, carts arrive streetsmeof ringue and marshmallow. mother’s homeBengaluruMyeach morning. made marshmallows coloured pink and Equipped with tablets,were Bluetooth printers blue and of raspberries andgo pepperGPS, thesetasted battery-operated carts from mint. Every birthday party, from agevegetables five until street to street selling fruits and well intofresh adolescence, featured these sourced from farms around thegummy, IT capimelt-in-the-mouth squares ofwarehouse, delight. each tal.

Packed at the FreshWorld As much as I loved my mother’s marshmalitem has a price tag, buyers are given receipts lows,the I couldn’t help but secretly wonder if I and warehouse inventory is automatically was missing out by only having access to updated after every transaction. homemade marshmallow.

The white cylindriIn Mumbai and its suburbs, fresh produce cal ones thatPune made regular appearances in the from Nasik, and Sholapur reaches houseArchieby comics point holds nine (my everychildhood morning.reference Harvested the for all things ‘cool’)the that were toasted overona previous evening, produce is loaded fire had a caramel-y that Ibycouldn’t trucks before midnightappeal and arrives 3am at shake off. Several years later, the warehouse of Go4fresh in my Navichildhood Mumbai. dream of work eatingtill a store-bought marshmallow The staff 7.30am to clean, grade and was fulfilled was relieved to find that pack the fruitsand andI vegetables, which customthese were rubbery, tasted ofbefore.

Styrofoam and ers have ordered online a day notAnd a patch on my mother’s delicateisvariety. in Vadodara, Ketan Parmar helping The history of thissell toothsome candy and is a farmers’ cooperatives their vegetables long toand stretchyinone.

In Egypt, honey milk households the city. whipped with the90sap from As more than per centthe of marshmallow the country’s plant was servedfruit-and-vegetable as a sweet treat. Many centu₹4.5-lakh-crore market is ries later, the same mixed with sugar and unorganised, a newsap, movement is underway to egg whites, came todirectly be usedto byconsumers, physicians as take fresh produce mi-a remedy for minor ailments in children like nus the intermediaries. coughs and colds.

In France, a version of the With rising incomes, consumers are willing marshmallow as we know it today, been to spend an extra buck to buy food has products around since the early 1800s when A marshmalthat promote health and wellness. report by

low sap was whipped and sold in confection- do this step without a candy thermometer. ery shops. However, as the industrial Have a little bowl of water (at room temperrevolution set in,Technopak, the need however, to manufacture consultancy firm observ- od ature) next vending, to you, and dropping tiny of street says keep FreshWorld founder these inindependent large quantities sawisthe use of gelatin Rajiv es that retail not adequately dropsRao. of the syrup into to thebridge waterthe to His sugar company wants instead for of the sapand in order to give these geared food grocery selling in sweets urban gap check doneness. reached byfor “marrying theYour art ofsyrup streethas vending to its characteristic chew.

India.

“Corporatised retail needs to find inno- the science right temperature when His it gets to the of modern retail.” company is Making is this a great wayof toopbe using vative waysmarshmallows of tapping into surfeit hard-ball stage. Atolittle of this sugar differsyrup technology position products inducted into select band ofofcooks brave ently, portunities onthe the platforms nutrition, dropped into as thetowater can professionalism be rolled into a as well promote enough to make candy at home. it and portability, and convenience,” saysAlthough the report. ball that is firm, yet malleable when squished. punctuality in services. can seem onerous in the beginning, with a lit- The rest of the processCEO depends the gelatin Maruti Chapke, and onfounder of tle bit of patience, these sweets are a joy to Go4fresh, Straight-to-plate pioneers working itshas magic. used his years of experience at make.

Watching sugar turnnew a players are Reliance Fresh and It is this frontierthe that several Although love forBig both meFuturemy group’s Bazaar fluffy, glossy white While that quickly trying to conquer. all of them aim to to fine-tune the ringue and pakoras have farm-to-fork model.

Insomeorgagives way to the mostvegetables beautiful take fruits and what retail, waned stores over struggle the years, nised to swirly pink is worth thealso mess straight to plate, they are atmarshmallows remain manpowa firm fafind and retain trained In Egypt, honey that the icing sugar out and niche corntempting to carve vourite.

These dayssolves however, er.

“Home delivery that inisflour will inevitably make.have Andto if whipped with the sap sue,” strengths.

After all, they steadhe of says. the child-friendly The aim is to marry from marshmallow you’re not onethemselves to be easilyfrom condifferentiate peppermint and raspberry, the Parmar discovered firsthand thewas art of streetas a plant served vinced byvendors. the pyrotechnics of roadside flavours are slightly more sophisthe advantages of dealing directvending to the sweet treat sugar and food a quick FreshWorld hascolour, its eco-friendticated — blueberries, anda pilot rose ly with consumers during science of modern tastehigh-tech of the carts; batter Parmar’s will be ly, are particularly delicious.

If Sauyou project he conducted in the retail enoughNaturals to convince you. You Krishi is taking the beorare a traditionalist, yousocial could enflarashtra region for his gin by route takingtoa little bit of gelaganic Gujarati housevour with vanilla studies instead. Vanillatrepreneurship at the tin and letting soak in water. holds; and it Go4fresh is flavoured marshmallows take veTata Institute of Social Sciences.

Gelatin givesitself the marshmallow positioning as a one-stop- its body and ry well to toasting, and selling make to thebusinessperfect “I learnt that structure — add too andday’s you will get cheshop for farmers tomuch sell their harvest, ir- es addition a cup of hot chocolate.

(B2B) istonot a good idea as they are not willwy, bubblegum-like candy, are nice, but ingThe respective of differences inwhich quality. recipe has been several to pay a premium fortweaked freshnessover or quality.” not marshmallow; too little, and you endthe up After Parmar and his team explain to farmers years, completing but it is worth thathethelaunched original hisnoting course, with something that resemblesand marshmallow benefits of organic cultivation train them Krishi comes Naturals from myinmother’s 35-year-old 2012 to directly offertrusty confluff. the inputs gelatin such blooms, the sugar syr- sumers to useWhile natural as jaggery, pulse cookbook, Recipes for All Occasions BF Vaorganic vegetables under thebyHariyali up is prepared.

If youand have a candy thermome- Topli flour, and cow dung urine. rughese, where it lies wedged between a recibrand. ter,Other this comes together very the pe for Gum Drop Sweets and Lips of Beauty. retail segments haveeasily. seen Let major sugar cook down,but andfruits wait for temper- Avoiding fresh mistakes transformations, andthe vegetables aysha from tanyafocusing is a food writer basedfront-end in Bengaluruto imature to rise tosold 115°C. However, possible to Aside continue to be through theit’s age-old methon the

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prove customer experience, each of these companies is innovating the back-end of operations. Typically, a farmer’s produce arrives at a collection centre before moving to a warehouse, followed by wholesale and retail sellers, and finally to consumers. The farm-to-home players load the produce directly from farms to trucks, ferrying it to the warehouse for direct dispatch to consumers.

As supply chain is the key to profitability, no stone is left unturned to master what the retail biggies have failed to learn in the fresh produce business.

“You can win only through supply chain efficiencies and not opportunistic buying from farmers,” says Chapke. His strategy is to buy all the produce from a farmer. “If I buy only the best quality fruits and vegetables, the farmer won’t be able to find buyers for the rest of his produce. So we buy everything and sell according to the quality to various categories of consumers,” he says.

Chapke’s primary target is individual consumers, who are sold the best grade fruits and vegetables, followed by Horeca (hotels, restaurants and canteens) and the institutional buyers manufacturing juices, pickles and jams and similar products. “This way, we ensure that farmers are offered the most convenient and fair means of selling their produce.

And it helps us get best rates as we are buying SWEAT inSPIRITUAL bulk.”

His company, Go4fresh, calls its nearly 60 associate farmers one day in advance with its requirements based on the orders received on its website. Krishi Naturals follows a similar strategy, but on a weekly basis. “We know our consumers, their preferences and order a week in advance,” says Parmar.

The key ingredient for these start-ups is undoubtedly near-accurate forecasting. “Since we know the orders, we plan our purchase accordingly and inform the farmers beforehand,” says Chapke.

Mandi comes home Krishi Naturals delivers organic vegetables under the Hariyali Topli brand in Vadodara

dmitry kalinovsky/shutterstock

A glass apart

Bloody Mary

Be it the choice of glass or the garnish, bartending is all the more fun when you learn to make your own rules

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Glass: Hurricane/Stylish 45ml vodka 150ml tomato juice 20ml lime juice 1 wedge of lime, squeezed 1 or 2 tsp Tabasco sauce (depending on how brave you are) ½ tsp Worcestershire sauce Plain salt/salt mixed with red chilli powder for the rim A long green chilli/long stick of carrot or radish to garnish

Choppingehind lossesevery move on the bar, from Logic is a powerful tool. It always works. Think the glasses and bottles are ar- about this strange breed called ‘vaastu’ exAccording toway the the Central Institute of Post-Harshatbhi basu ranged to and how Technology a drink is made, there perts, numerologists and astrologists. They vest Engineering (CIPHET), 1 Rim the glass with plain salt or a mix isfruits soundand logic.

I pick aworth glass first be- promise you the sun, the moon, the stars and Ludhiana, vegetables ₹13,300 of salt and red chilli.

FreshWorld Rajiv Rao’s carts travel the streets with veggies sourced from nearby farms cause I want to make sureowing that it’s when I more crore go waste annually tothere the absence if you founder change your doors, windows… or of Bengaluru 2 Fill 3/4 glass with ice cubes. grn soma shekar finish making my cocktail, ready and waiting. of cold-storage facilities and inefficient hand- turn yourself into Shobhaaa, Rahuule, or 3 Add tomato juice till it fills two-thirds Iling. think that’sstart-ups better than forthe the loopglass worse. They feed on your insecurity to assure These arelooking plugging of the glass. after and not finding Or setting holes.I’m “Asdone we telephone farmersit.directly, the you This, in turn, helps cut never losses.happening.

Krishi Natuof stuff that’s almost If about Parmar reasons.

The ap4 Addfood limealso,” juice, lime wedge, Tabasco, aside a group of glasses mecan of the inventory is very small. to Anyremind leftovers be it rals is operationally profitable, while Freshdoes, it’s always because you worked your proach seems be working, as demand has Wooster andtostir. various orders I have on my slip. I fillisa marginmartini butt sold to other customers.

So wastage World of turning profitable by grown offistoconfident make it happen.

Pure logic. andItParmar is now trying rope in 5 Taste. should be sharper and to spicier thanfarmers. you want it to be. glass with ice before making it so that it is nice March al,” says Chapke. and Go4fresh

by Juneon this year. bar Im- more A few2016 years ago I was working a small 6 Add vodka and stir again. Mumbai’s big and cold, allowing the drink to stay icy longer project portantly, this the profitability is neither the where vaastu chap made usatreloChapke’s Go4fresh is tapping 7 Garnish.

Sip. by creating micro-entreprewhile being imbibed. It’s a stemmed glass for cate cost the of farmers’ nor does it to make bar fromlivelihoods a nice long open space a ti- housing societies exactly the same reason too — so the palm ny, thecramped productslocation unaffordable consumers.This neurs — residents who sell its fruits and vegeunderfor a mezzanine. doesn’t start warming up the drink faster than was Prices arethe 10-25 highercould than those so that barper andcent the cashier be to- tables within the society. Each day, the I can finish it. I shake the drink of roadside shops carts. consumers are many getherorin theBut perfectly aligned micro-entrepreneurs receive and produce Protestants in her quest tosell re-establish because I want all the ingrenot complaining.

“I am assured position.

That’s how all the mon- the Catholic worth anystill leftover church.₹10,000; There are more prostodients to come together into a of the quality don’t have to eyand would come tumbling into the ries where these ducecome is from. sold After to institutional the demise nice, smooth blend. Not bespend hourscash cleaning my and leafythe cup would of the roly-poly, registers buyers.

They each earn in about the cocktail was served the They look green at me vegetables. cause someone said so. I arAll Ithe prodoverflow. tried every reasonable old-fashioned₹800 a day. whisky tumbler or rocks glass. I As we telephone surprised when tell clean range my bar in a way that uctsI are and sorted.on And I that would mulled over this explanation how FreshWorld recently and decided that itopened just hada farmers directly, the them that it’s fine to aligns with the way I work. So know my spinach has not not work.

Thatbeen finding bartend- to be an elegant convenience well. glass withstore a bit ofasa waist. inventory is very me andaround that everything I need to work question bothgrown Mumbai’s ers who were allrail5’2” so they’d ac- Whether French “Through this format, we willdebe or English, the queens small...

So wastage the internet effectively and efficiently is way tracks but in be farms,” tually able tosays stand and work served it. It is close to consumers.

We not don’ta a Bloody Mary dammit, is marginal within an arm’s reach. It makes Hemangi K was Sharma, a regular a nightmare.

I even asked the Bloody John!have to be in a mall… the neighsense to do that. It’s logical. buyer at Go4fresh. client if his ‘pandit’ had a moneystore were concept will My peers bourhood in the industry horrified.

Ever so often while teaching a For Nitya back Patel,policy Krishi in Natucase it didn’t work They decidedwork for us,” says Rao.But it thatwell I had gone mad. class I stare back at the kids in wonder. I’m in out. rals isItsynonymous withthan reliable bombed in less six months. The worked. The customers He wantsloved to increase theavatar numthe new awe that they take every word that comes out gods quality.

“I don’t have to pleased. worry about picking and couldn’t have been ber of carts from 22 to 60 by the year-end our technique.

They didn’t care thatand we of my mouth as gospel. That the internet theI chose best for my family.

Their produce is orgato break with tradition with my take were expand to long other cities.

Similarly, using green chillies, carrotGo4fresh and radknows it all and is always right. They look at on nicBloody and certified.

Above all, it ischoice fresh; for notthe re- ish Mary. The traditional plans to enter Delhi within year. Parmar is sticks instead of the staidacelery.

On some me all surprised when I tell them that it’s fine drink hydrated water repeatedly,” she says. waswith the roly-poly glass, a stubby, cup-like occasions eyeing Surat thebarbecued next destination, weasuse shrimpfollowed or even to question both me and the internet. They receptacle. There was a reason. It was created parmesan.

by Mumbai.What matters in the end is apprewill never be able to correct the wrong unless in Branded veggies Paris by bartender Fernand Petiot — meant ciation As thefrom demand fresh produce supthe for audience.

Guess meets who comthey understand what they are doing and how to To reflect find more buyers, Krishi (‘Bloody’ Naturals Mary?!) representhe ‘cup’ of blood — plained? ply from A a growing community of internetbar manager who wrote “great that affects the outcome. tativesQueen make Marie presentations at housing after Antoinette, the onesociewho drink, savvy farmers who are and reaping theLoved best rates wrong garnish glass”. that The principle works reasonably well out- asked ties. “Ifwhy youher have a family doctor, why noteata even starving subjects wouldn’t for their harvest, there is a greengrocery revomore. side the bar too. Question everything. See the cake family farmer — no thisbread, is thewas point make.

If lution in the making. if there was putwe to the guilrelevance. Make changes if they feel right, irre- lotine. we areOr brand-conscious aboutwho clothing and shatbhi basu is a mixologist, author, television host Mary Queen of Scots was called rashmi head pratap of Stir, a bartending academy in Mumbai Green light Krishi Naturals staff explain the benefits of organic cultivation to long farmersomeone’s groups spective of how been doing it. Bloody footwear, weas she should bethe brand-conscious Mary caused massacre of so and

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What next? Musing on the transition of the Indian team in the post-Tendulkar age, Bhattacharya’s conclusion is inscrutable and indecipherable kr deepak

House of horrors?

Telangana Chief Minister K Chandrasekhar Rao’s attempts to colour his official duties with his personal beliefs draw flak

A TV point of view A look at Indian cricket post Tendulkar — suspended somewhere in between, devoid of perspective that comes from distance and inside knowledge that comes from proximity

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Dark arts of governance Claiming that the Secretariat building in Hyderabad does not follow vaastu norms, the Telangana government is officially jittery about the n cricket stadiums around world, maleficent implications for the new State the and wants to build a new seatmagnitude of power pv sivakumar ume and rarely seen in sport beAfter more than 200 pages, musing on the

After Tendulkar: The New Stars of Indian Cricket Soumya Bhattacharya Aleph ₹495

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there is usually a divide between the scribe theand fan.maharajas The press of is the heand rajas yoreinvethad eratetheir Brahmin in of thecourt house, a privileged coterie jesters, astrololot lording overvaastu the spectator their airgers, advisers from et al to confer conditioned box. assumption is that crickwith at The every stage of governance. et In journalists — mostly men, seated in their post-Independence India, astrology’s ivory towers arethe somehow above the ordisway over the—rich, powerful and common nary fan.alike More often than not, the contrary is people remains undiminished.

Vaastu, true.

Many long-timers onasthe cricket beat, in particular, has emerged a game-changer with of kilometres on the clock,The are in thethousands highly lucrative real-estate sector. jaded andcut have little society, insight with to offer.

Onfaith the believers across their other hand,inmany fans in the are often seemingly proportion to stands the power they deeply solely by affecwield orknowledgeable, the size of theirdriven business holding. tion for the game and without the pomposity Nonetheless, what K Chandrasekhar Rao, and self-importance thatoftends to overtake the first chief minister Telangana, did a many Yet in Indian cricket, monthveteran ago willjournalists. likely go down the annals of despite global phenomenon it is, has promodern,the democratic India as a dubious first of duced few equivalents NickSuddala HornbySudhaor the sorts. He named vaastu of expert late David Foster Wallace; fans whoWing can kar Teja as an advisor to thepure Architecture describe their passion for theDepartment. sport with the of the Building and Planning delicacy of art.

The government order, dated February 12, Thisthat is one the reasons why Bhatstates hisofappointment wasSoumya necessitated tacharya’s first book, Must like Cricket? is a because the wing wasYou understaffed after the gust of freshofair.

A erstwhile memoir ofAndhra the Indian crickbifurcation the Pradesh. et KCR’s fan, itobsession doesn’t eschew emotion nor science does it with this disputed bother with the feigned expertise thatover cricket has been evident ever since he took the journalists spout. State Whileon notJune quite reins of theroutinely newly formed 2, Hornbyesque, You Must… illustrates an impor2014. He inspected bungalow after bungalow tant truth: to be ahis fanofficial of Indian cricket is not to before picking residence-cum-ofnecessarily thought. fice, or Campabandon Office as they call it.Bhattacharya He reluctanthas also followed up his offering ly agreed to occupy theinitial ‘jinxed’ Camp with Officea slimmer second volume, You Can’t built about nine years agoAll

by That the then ConLeave Behind, a variation theminister same theme. gress Government for itson chief YS RaWhile the first two werewas obsessed by jasekhara Reddy.

Thebooks building branded what is now India’s circles previous generation ‘unlucky’ in political after the death of cricketers — Ganguly, Dravid, Tendulkar, KumYSR in a helicopter crash, which was followed ble, Laxman — inKAfter Tendulkar, on by his successor Rosaiah losinghis histhird job and the sport, Bhattacharya turns his gaze towards bifurcation of the State. theInnew crop of AP, stars. undivided astrology and vaastu comAs is amply clear from the title,ofBhattachmanded the unalloyed devotion political arya’s reference point is the retirement of Tenbigwigs.

The charismatic and all-powerful NT dulkar, among a great Rama Raothe went greatest on to reward his personal asconstellation of cricketers, 2013. seat trologer, BV Mohan Reddy,inanlate assembly Bhattacharya takes offafrom Tendulkar’s last and later anointed him minister. two Tests, an impassioned farewell of a volNot far behind was M Channa Reddy, the

fore, interspersing the narrative with the transition of the Indian team in the post-Tensketches India’s new stars who powerfulof Congress (I) leader whohad wasbegun twice Secretariat. dulkar age,His Bhattacharya’s conclusion is indecision attracted widespread appearing on his thetrust horizon asvaastu Tendulkar pre- criticism CM. He placed in the architect scrutableon as it is indecipherable: hub of two counts — shifting“…the the hospital pared to bidAnother goodbye.

BN Reddy.

Congress leader and for- from this team is the besttoset of young70km players we the city centre Vikarabad, away; It is an interesting approach; problem, and mer union minister, the leadingthe industrialist have.abandoning It is hard tothe lookexisting beyondSecretariat them. Thison is as cricketers would is in the execution.

T Subbarami Reddysay, temporarily gave up his unscientific what we have.

It is either this or nothing. And grounds.

The rise of India’s cricket makes luxury home on the new advice of hisstars vaastu ex- nothing so muchaworse.”

“He isisholding Constitutional position for a The fascinating tale: it is the story ofKIndia it- and pert. journalist-turned-politician Kesava Elsewhere facts sacrificed to hyperbole, can’t bring hisare personal beliefs into it. It is self the small-town andRashtra ambi- undemocratic Rao, and currently with KCR’smobility Telangana a usual malaiseand of Indian cricket against the writing. spirit of the tion engendered bymany the country’s Samithi, went in for vaastu-ledeconomic changes Constitution,” Describing the moment Kohli occupied the says G Haragopal, a civil rights liberalisation.

Unfortunately, Bhattacharya’s activist to realise his political ambitions. numberand fourpolitical slot, Tendulkar’s scientist. revered batting profiles flat,past cobbled together political second- position Puttingare every vaastu-inspired in Test matches, on the Indian tour of The State Government appears determined hand from various sources.

Hismove enthusishenanigan in thenews shade is KCR’s to to South Africa, with Bhattacharya “The spot to in go ahead its plans.writes: “We are going asm what isfor sorely lacking is build buildisaunmistakable; brand new building his residence which the Indianew hadSecretariat seen no oneinelse butyears. a certain two We the legwork.

What and camp office at anprevents adjacent Bhattacharya site that cur- have batsman since₹200 before the for Berlin Wall had fallallocated crore this,” KCR assertfrom of Ranchi in search of ed, rentlyscouring houses the the lanes State’s intelligence office. en.”ignoring In truth,the Tendulkar growingoccupied protests.the number Dhoni’s origins?

Or spending time in west Del- four Even before the dust had settled over this conposition only in the fall of 1992 — three Castigating the Chief Minister’s attempts to hi, to gain insight intothe the attitroversial decision, Chief years after fallduties of thewith Berlin colour his the official his tude of Virat Kohli?

Minister rolled up his sleeves Wall — batting at number six Lakshas late personal beliefs, Ponnala Ingot the down second and toand the final job ofseccorasmaiah, the Indian of Australia in Jathe tour former president of tion, rectingBhattacharya the vaastu ofrecounts the very Facts are sacrificed to nuary that year. Pradesh Congress the Telangana How can he use the performance after seat team’s of power.

Great sports books from the Committee, says “We conducted hyperbole, a usual public money to Tendulkar’s retirement in Convinced that the decadesfan’s vantage point are defined by a survey in Hyderabad and over malaise honourof hisIndian ‘vows’? what he describes as “their five old Secretariat “does not follow their primary material: Fan narra90 per cent of the city’s residents cricket writing key assignments Novaastu norms”, between he is jittery tives getopposed their singularity stohave the movefrom to shift vember and October about its2013 maleficent implicaries, disappointments and the Secretariat.”

2014”.

What is a chrontions for thefollows new State.

One of triumphs, of them an glimpsed Besidesall announcing annual ological, acthe roads series-by-series leading to the Secretariat on the donation offirsthand.

Bhattacharya’s ₹100 crore While for the development of count ofHussainsagar India’s toursLake to South Africa, New banks of is believed to be at first bookGutta, had aor freshness undiluted bySwamy pressYadagiri Lakshminarasimha Zealand and England well asblamed the Asia odds with vaastu and as is being forCup all box scepticism, the novelty began toawear off temple, in Nalgonda, KCR has issued governand the World in Bangladesh. the troubles of Twenty20 the past 20-25 years. No matter in hisorder second.

In After Tendulkar, formula ment sanctioning a ₹5-crorethe ‘gold offerHowever, unlike, say minister the gripping Ashes that almost every chief till now has feels positively ing’ to the Balajirepetitive. temple in Tirupati, and funds tour diaries of the Gideon Haigh that areout a deloyally followed vaastu advice doled by forThe growing wealth offor the Indian middle a golden moustache a local deity and lightful blendor ofthe anecdote one siddhanti other. and the discern- class over the two decades has meant that nose-pins for apast couple of goddesses.

This “offiment that comes from counterpart watching the game KCR’s Andhra Pradesh and for- India has the mostfor formidable travelling asupcial thanksgiving” making Telangana refirsthand, Bhattacharya is encumbered by bemer mentor N Chandrababu Naidu proved no port.

Bhattacharya’s fandom seem of ality has drawn daggers fromdoesn’t political rivals. ing a distant, cursory observer.

Thatinto mayhis be no different when he refused to move of- the regular kind.to Hehonour seems, his for “How can hestadium-going use public money bad itself; the problem thatmonths Bhatta- the fice thing at thein Secretariat for nearlyisfive mostasks part,Ponnala a creature of the television. That ‘vows’?”

Lakshmaiah. charya neither has nor₹10 is inclined towards the doesn’t and reportedly spent crore for a vaastudisqualify from abuse writing on Haragopal terms anyone it an outright of auhistorical long view of Mukul Kesavan or Ra- cricket. ready facility. thetobook sadly illustrates, it thority. But, “We as need build a strong public machandra Guha.

After Tendulkar a book usually At the behest of vaastu experts, heisdeclined provide material opinion doesn’t against such practices,” saysfor thegreat prostrangely suspended somewhere inat between, to locate the temporary secretariat the Na- writing either. fessor, who is also at the head of the Save Eduwith neither the premises left-field near perspective garjuna University Guntur. that cation movement. comes fromchosen distance the inside knowledge KCR has theor 65-acre ‘Chest Hospital’ vaibhav sharma is the author of Triumph in Travels During Cricket World Cup kv kurmanath and mthe somasekhar that comes from proximity game. new Bombay: at Sanatnagar as the site for to thethe proposed

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Holy cowAGENDA

Digital India # Fail I

In Haryana, to be a bovine is to be truly blessed s Haryana the best place in the country to be a cow? First, there was the beef ban and then the Gauvansh Sanrakshan and Gausamvardhan Bill came along.

Now, the Haryana government has announced Aadhar-like identity cards for cows. Mahavir Singh, principal secretary of the Animal Husbandry n 2012, Narendra Modi, then positioning department said last week himself as opposition for cow that candidate every Haryanvi prime minister, changed will his be Twitter issued disa unique play picture to black. identification He was protesting card and 12the Congress-led government’s digit blockade number of tags to nearly 300 websites and some Twitter adorn theirhandles dewlaps. The that were critical of the government. tags will carry details like “As a common man, photo, I join the age,protest body type, against crackdown on freedom of speech,” he The complexion and race. tweeted. “Have changedowners my DP will (display also picbe given ture). Sabko sanmati de bhagwan God give cow booklets(May for recording good sense to everyone),” added, with the daily, data.he Singh told a local hashtag #GOIBlocks.“The aim is to establish the idenWithin three years has done a and titythough, of cows,Modi for their security complete volte-face on the them issue of internet to provide with benefits of freedom. Last month in the For Supreme health schemes.” now, itCourt, would seem, the government’s SolicitorisGeneral that to beAdditional cow in Haryana a wonderful argued the continuance of the draconian thing.for #Blessed Section 66A that gives the state power to jail citizens for up to three years for posting “grossly offensive” content online.

And guess who decides what is “grossly offensive” — our police who have little domain knowledge and have already misused the law against citizens several times. You would be forgiven for thinking that Kapil Sibal is still our Information and Technology minister and the UPA still in power.

The Centre’s defence of Section 66A goes against the PM’s slogans of minimum government, maximum governance

sambuddha mitra mustafi

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Look east, left or right?

Driving on the ‘right’ side of the road

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othing evokes nationhood like which side of road automobiles must drive on. At least for a few Indian officials, working on building a 3,200-km threecountry highway connecting India to Thailand through Myanmar, the side of the road makes all the difference. India and Thailand prefer vehicles to drive on the left while Myanmar prefers the right (apparently, the military junta thought a right-side drive would drive out left forces). With the new highway, trade barriers will break and connectivity will improve. The only trouble brewing for the countries now: The highway will be physically ready but will be unusable because they can’t figure out left or right.

One coin to save them all

A Dust(er) bin

In Britain, a 12-sided coin is what the Royal Mint is betting on to save face

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t any given moment, about 45 million British currency one pound coins are fakes, which is about three per cent of all coins in circulation. To counter the counterfeiters, the British have now come up with the most secure small currency the world has seen. internet Going back to a retro 12-sided design, the newFree onethe pound coin, Members Free which will be unveiled in 2017, will be equipped with whatofthe Royal Software Mint says is “cutting-edge, anti-forgery” technology.

TheMovement design of scrap it, going against its own conservative inKarnataka (FSMK) hat do you do when yourstincts. car needs the coin will feature four symbols of the UK — a rose, leek,the thistle The reason for this apparently inconprotest misuseand of constant attention and daily tripsexpectation to shamrock — emerging from a royal coronet. The Section winning design by gruous is Narendra Modi — he is 66A murali kumar the mechanic, from the day youbybuy 16-year-old David Pearce was selected as the best kamong 6,000 subfar it? theAmost internet-vested politician that businessman in Kota, Rajasthan got sohas frus-produced, one who has expertly exmissions in a nationwide competition and beat designs that includIndia trated with his newly acquired Renault ed cups of tea, the weather, famous writers, seaside piers and the ploited the power of new media to get votes.

Duster that he ended up donating On it tohis theofficial Facebook and Twitter pages Digital Fail India Rolling Stones tongue2012 motif. when Modi’s Twitter handle was protestlocal gram panchayat. He had only one con- Modi has over 40 million follow- India’s IT sector flourished in the last two dec- ing against UPA’s high-handedness, Arun Jaitcombined, dition — that they use it for garbage collecers. His direct online communication with the ades because it faced minimum state interfe- ley gave a clairvoyant speech in the Rajya tion. Rajesh Pareta claims that middle-class his Duster and youth played a major part in rence, unlike other sectors. Rent-seeking Sabha on the futility of online censorship. frequented the service centre every day with creating the “Modi wave”. He clearly has the government officials were ignorant of this “You can retrain and create an awe by censora new problem — an electrical malfunction early mover advantage and the biggest politi- greenfield sector, which ensured that first- ship of print and electronic media,” he said, here, AC trouble there. Bogged down, he decal stake in ensuring rapid expangeneration, honest entre- pointedly referring to the Emergency, “but cided to give it away. However, he’s sionnotofthethe internet from its preneurs could build or- you can never control the internet.” first car owner to take a vehicleroughly down the 250 million user base in ganisations that created A website can be built for almost no cost, by garbage route. Much before him,India. in British This can only be hampered millions of jobs and put anybody with an internet connection who is Why would an Indian India, the nobles of Bharatpur, Patiala and by his government’s stand on SecIndia on the world map. willing to google ‘how to build a website’. This entrepreneur create a Alwar also converted their Rolls-Royces into tion 66A. Modi came up with the means that internet censors are playing a nevFacebook when he risks he US secret service, responsible protecting garbage dumps.

The Congress is Luddite in comDigitalforIndia campaign er-ending game of whack-a-mole, which they going to jail simply the president’s life, is underand, fire.in In his the speeches, last year, talks cannot win. parison — it lost the social media because one policeman publichow drunkenness battle not just to the BJP, but to the it was hit by several scandals — about Indians should Jaitley, then the Leader of Opposition in the may find a comment on breaches at the upstart Aam Aadmi Party as well. of its agents and repeated security create the next Facebook Upper House, also spelled out the problems the platform ‘grossly army Therefore the Congress, when in White House. For instance, in September, and Google.anYet, his gov- with Section 66A in particular: words like offensive’? the yard and en- the ‘grossly offensive’, ‘menacing’, ‘blasphemous’ power, had a perverse incentive to veteran jumped the fence, crossed ernment advocates a second jumper create fear and stop the prolifera- tered the building. A month later, continuance of a law that and ‘defamation’ could be used to curb freedog. scare So, Director Jotion of social media: it was helping broke in and body-slammed a will entrepreneurs, dom of expression. an elaborate plan: the Congress’ opponents more. It seph Clancy has come up withfunders and innovation in If the top two leaders in this government an $8m the White House for trainwas rational then to expect that theBuild newlythereplica digitalof space. are unwilling or unable to convince the addiingscrap agents. Why? Special Forces used try to tional solicitor general about their stand on elected BJP government would want to WhyBecause wouldthe an US Indian entrepreneur to train before launching Operation Section 66A in its own self-interest, if scale not asmodels a create a Facebook when he risks going to jail internet freedom, then you have to wonder Geronimo. Clancy theone replica to have thepolice- about the leadership deficit at the highest levmatter of conservative principle. simply wants because vigilante andallone House — fountains, grass, So, Section 66A flies against Modi’sdetails mantraof the manWhite may find a comment on the platform el. All said Section 66A of the IT Act is the exact shrubs, perhaps a rose garden,How evenwill Michelle Oba-build a opposite of Modi’s slogans: this is Digital Fail of “minimum government” which promised ‘grossly offensive’? an Indian vegetable garden. request to remove state interference. While thema’s PM has Google whenHowever, funders the start$8m staying away be- India; and this is maximum government, minhas raised few eyebrows.

As Dan Holler, often focused on ease of doing business by acause of ill-conceived laws? spokesperimum governance.

Heritage Action,against put it, interminimising government procedures,son hisfor ef-conservative But thegroup most lucid argument “Mostup folksnet don’t need an came $8m training facility forts will come to naught if the state creeps censorship from within the to ranks of sambuddha mitra mustafi is the founder of lockgovernment. the front door.” on us through such silly legislations. learn how to this Around the same time in The Political Indian

What do you do if the new Power and paradox car you bought is draining But here is the paradox: the ‘liberal’ Congressled government passed a blatantly illiberal your wallet? law, while we expect a BJP-led government to

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Training day

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Why does the US secret service need a White House replica?

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saturday, march 21, 2015

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in-faq by joy bhattacharjya Earth quiz

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n March 21, 1970, Earth Day was first celebrated on the first day of spring in the northern hemisphere. Exactly 45 years later, let’s celebrate with a set of questions from around the world.

here,there & elsewhere

Knock! Knock!

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ver since Bins told me about the little packet of seeds he smuggled into the US, I’ve been unable to think of anything else. Tell me again, I say to him, how could you have done this?

How? To which he gives a Belmondo shrug and says, “It was easy! It was cool!

And guess what? We got away with it.” I remind him there was no ‘we’. He was alone in his actions. “Of course!” he says. “If you had known, you’d be running to tell the border police, Arrest me, Arrest me! Even before we landed, you’d call them up from inside the plane, to warn those fellows in black uniforms about this big drug baron — baroness, excuse me — landing in America with a thimble of grass seeds!”

And if you’d been caught, I ask him, what would you have done? It was so irresponsible. Thoughtless.

Brainless. “But I didn’t get caught, no? I thought about it in advance. I hid the packet inside that plastic bag of filter coffee you brought —.” He stops and looks guiltily in my direction. You mean, I say in a halting voice, it was in my suitcase? “Yah,” he says, attempting to look rueful. “I agree, that was not very nice. Still. Who will think you are a drug smuggler?

No one. So even if the sniffer-dog

cornerstone

sits down on your suitcase you will scream and cry so much they will believe you. Me?” He points to his scraggly moustache and thin grey plait.

“Maybe not.”

But, but, but, I splutter, you used me as a drug mule! “Tcheh,” he snorts. “Did you not see me whisper to the dog? I told him not to bother you. And if Black-suit-wallah asked you to open your bag, I would tell him it’s my packet.

Anyway, relax! It’s over now, the packet is safe and it’s legal to grow the weed in the US. When the weather is warm we’ll

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Which national flag features two human figures standing under a mahogany tree?

buy some flower pots and...” All the while we’ve been talking, there’s been some commotion out in the hall. Now there’s a knock on the door.

“Who’s that?” Bins wonders. Must be the police, I say. Please tell them to take you away and lock you up forever. He shrugs light-heartedly and goes to the door. I can hear him talking to someone.

He takes so long that I get up to investigate. Whereupon he turns towards me and says, “Ah! Here’s my wife now. She’s the tenant.” To me he says, pokerfaced, “It’s the police.” Sure enough: at the door is a young and very pretty policewoman.

“Hi,” she says. “I’d like to ask a few questions?” Okay, I say. My heart is pounding. I’m about to confess right away just to save time when she says, “Did you know that your neighbour Peter was burgled this afternoon?”

Ummm. What? She repeats the question. I answer truthfully that I had no idea. After a couple more questions, she thanks me and leaves. Bins says, “See? Nothing happened.” I am practically in coma. “Tea?” he offers. Yes, I say. manjula padmanabhan, author and artist, writes about her life in the fictional town of Elsewhere, in this weekly column

If you went to Rinca, Flores and Gil Montang and one other island, what would you be hoping to sight?

Which tourist attraction in the southern hemisphere was once described as the ‘Nun’s Scrum’ by Clive James as it reminded him of a group of nuns in their headgear huddled together in a rugby scrum?

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In a specific type of cuisine, customers create a bowl from an assortment of ingredients displayed in a buffet and hand it over to a cook who stir-fries it on a large griddle. This form of restaurant-cooking is called a _________ barbecue, where the blank represents the name of a country, though the process is actually derived from Taiwan and inspired by Japanese cooking.

5

In 1876, Delmonico’s restaurant in New York created a new dessert to celebrate a purchase by the US government. What did they name this dessert?

6

The Crimean War was a bloody 19th-century conflict between Russia on one hand and France, the UK and their allies on the other. The war inspired three types of sartorial fashions.

One was the raglan sleeve, the second was the cardigan, named after Lord Cardigan. Which was the third — beloved of a certain community in India?

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In 2004 he banned long hair or beards for men. He then banned television anchors from wearing make-up as he felt he could not distinguish between male and female anchors.

Then he actually banned dogs from the capital city because of their ‘unappealing odour’.

Identify this visionary leader, or the country that he ruled with such élan.

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After an announcement by their spokesperson on October 20 2011, something often referred to as ‘Europe’s longest war’ finally ended. The organisation that started this conflict in 1959 has a strange logo — a snake wrapped around an axe. Identify the organisation.

9

There are very few nuclear powered ships in civilian use. The maximum number of nonmilitary nuclear powered ships are used for what purpose? If it helps, they are mostly found in extreme northern latitudes.

10

Which book, also adapted for the big screen, narrates a journey started in January 1952 on a Norton 500cc nicknamed ‘La Poderosa’ or ‘The Mighty One’?

Answers 1. Belize 2. The Komodo dragon, these are the only four islands where they are found 3. The Sydney Opera House 4. Mongolian barbeque 5. Baked Alaska, as the US had just bought the state of Alaska from the Russians 6. The balaclava headgear, named after a town in Crimea and favoured by skiers, bank robbers and peripatetic Bengalis 7. Saparmurat Niyazov of Turkmenistan 8. The ETA, a Basque Separatist Movement 9. Ice Breakers 10. Che Guevera’s Motorcycle Diaries, originally marketed as ‘Easy Rider meets Das Kapital’

joy bhattacharjya is a quizmaster and Project Director, FIFA U-17 World Cup t@joybhattacharj

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