Blink issue 75 july04 2015

BULLETS FROM THE DARK Six Sopore men have been mysteriously killed in the past month.

Until they have an answer, residents of the troubled town blame all parties p2 saturday, july 4, 2015

THE NOSE RACE Perils of questioning the Aryan Invasion Theory include the tag of a Hindu nationalist p5

HORSE POWER The animal, at once beautiful and wild, is inspiration to much literature p17

Ladies’ tailors

The sari is seeing an enthusiastic resurgence, but the perfect blouse is still elusive to many. The search for the right masterji can be both exhilarating and frustrating. We explore Indian women’s unique relationship with their blouse makers p6 a sinha

COLD CUTS Putrid encounters with rotten shark and goat testicles barely let you warm up to Iceland p19

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Weaving a web Tent caterpillars build web-like tents, which act as centrally located information sources ambika kamath

Who’s killing ’em all?

Posters demanding shutdown of telecom towers didn’t quite prepare Sopore for the killing of six residents in less than a month. Political parties and the police are engaged in a blame game while every family here wants to know the names of the culprits

Sopore’s dead May 25

Rafiq Akbar Haji, 23: The commerce graduate was killed when gunmen targeted his employer, a BSNL franchisee, in Sopore May 26

Ghulam Hassan Dar, 60: Shot down in Duroo area of Sopore. He had leased land to a telecom company to install a cellphone tower June 9

CREATURE FEATURE

A social network

Sheikh Altaf-urRehman, 46: A pharmacist, Rehman was killed when he was leaving the hospital after night shift. He was a member of the Hurriyat’s Geelani faction

Can sociality have only one definition? Tent caterpillars show us that they are also ‘truly June 13 social’ just like the ants and the bees

ambika kamath Life in the shadows Curfew was imposed in the Kashmir Valley on the first day of Ramzan, so as to prevent separatists from taking to the streets to protest the Sopore killings dar yasin/ ap; (right) a poster demanding the shutdown of telecom towers special arrangement

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sually, when I receive a reminder that my column is due in a week or so, I’ve been considering its subject for days. This month when the reminder arrived, I hadn’t even picked a creature.une Cue14. anIteight-km walkmorning throughand a nearby was Sunday Mehforest and frantic through good months of raj-ud-din Darsorting was expecting businature an idea nessphotos, at hishoping poultry shop,would barelystrike.

500 When I finally decided write about tent cametres from one of to Sopore’s massive Army terpillars, my Within enthusiasm for of these animals installations. minutes his arrival at was best.

But in justDar, a week, tent caterthe tepid shop,atthe 38-year-old a former JKLF pillars have rapidly climbed myunidentified estimation, militant, was gunned downinby becoming one mygirls, favourite insects. men. Father ofoftwo Dar was the fifth of caterpillars’ first fame isintheir sixTent residents to die in lessclaim thanto a month this group A fuzzy, brown and restiveliving. town in northunassuming, Kashmir. white moth,shunned the mother tent caterpillar a “Mehraj militancy some 15 lays years clutch of eggs together, as moths to ago, and was living in peace withare hiswont family. do. the caterpillars emerge ThisBut is unusually, how innocents are being that slaughtered from stay close after They here,”these said eggs Bashir Ahmad, Dar’shatching. neighbour. build web-like tents together, synchronously Known to harbour pro-freedom and anti-Inspinning sheets Sopore of silk. has They make foraging dia sentiments, been a hotbed of trips together these reports centrally militancy since from 1990. Police saylocated that altents, a silk-and-chemical most leaving every militant organisationtrail hasbehind memthem.

And this if a caterpillar finds a particularly bers from town. Sopore is also the town bountiful of young leaves feed on,the it that thricepatch elected Syed Ali ShahtoGeelani, strengthens the chemical trailleader on its in way most controversial separatist theback Valto allowing its has siblings to been followaway the ley,the as tent, its MLA. Sopore never trail thisheadlines greenest offor pastures. fromtothe too long thanks to The incidents tent thus acts as an information many of violence and unrest. centre The refor parentless caterpillar And the centthis attacks came within daysfamily. of Lashkar-e-Isbenefits of siblinghood don’t stop here.

The lam — a hitherto unknown ‘militant’ outfit — group of caterpillars thrashes and bitestosimulpublicly warning telecom companies wind taneously, deterring predators attacking up operations in Sopore.

‘Closefrom down the towthem. huddle its together the patchy suners or They face action’, postersinsaid.

The motive light the North American springtime, enwas toofdisrupt normal life in the Valley. abling the tentkilling caterpillars towith reach On May 25, the orgy began the temperatures that ideal for growing quickgunning down of are Rafiq Ahmad Haji. The 23ly; temperatures thatgraduate a single caterpillar can’t year-old commerce was employed attain itsfranchise own. There is no question Gunthat with a on BSNL owner in Kupwara. tent benefit alongside mencaterpillars stormed the outletfrom and living sprayed bullets, their brothers andinjuring sisters. two others. Haji’s killing Haji and Yet insect biologistshigher have been curiously redreams of pursuing studies in Indore

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Khursheed Ahmad Bhat, 35: A shopkeeper,

Bhatdescribe was returning home whenashesomething was luctant to call tent caterpillars “social.” This is rawi this condition shot‘everybody dead at Bomai village because the definition of sociality that biolo- that knows’, but their knowledge June 14 gists agreed upon somehow became centred came to the attention of scientists only in Mehraj-ud-din Dar, 38: Resident of on parents and offspring living together and 2013.

I think the scientific establishment, to Badambagh in Sopore town, Darthis wasepisode shot dividing up familial tasks. This restrictive defi- which I belong, comes out from dead atrather the poultry nition forced died with him.tent caterpillars far from the looking silly. Ifshop we’d outside stoppedhis to house ask the limelight, lesserwas categories like Ghulam “pre-so- people The nextinto casualty 60-year-old June 15we share the world with what they cial,” denying thatneighbouring the tent caterpillar’s Hassan Dar, from Duroo, take who know about Reshi, nature,35:and their Aijaz Ahmad Shotconsidered dead at local on just ashis successful that ofcomthe knowledge hadsociality recentlyisleased land to a as telecom diagnostic seriously, centre we’d have known about “truly social” bee. stormed his house caterpillar-induced abortions ages ago. pany. On Mayant 26,or militants insect havefor persevered asBut thesome family was biologists getting ready bed and I suspect that I struggled to focus on this in resisting this hierarchy, and the non-tradipumped at least a dozen bullets into Ghulam. month’s piece because mind was filled black-and-white posters my of two men — Abdul tionally social tent caterpillars have become a with This killing was followed by a series of attacks other things. live in the US atKandoo the moQayoom Najar andIImtiyaz Ahmad — deserving of a more on mobileposter-child towers. Attacks were also reported and announced ment, and the lastlakh feweach weeks a reward of ₹10 for inclusive view ofand sociality. from Srinagar Anantnag. Sensing more their capture.here have been tumultuous.

Tent the caterpillars’ second despatched a trouble, central government Ninein African-Americans were Five days later, an embarrassing developclaim to senior fame was initially quite team of officials to take stock of the sit- ment, a shopkeeper gunned in down in a church a Kupwara accusedbythe Non-traditionally mysterious.

About 10 years ago, joint secreta- police of using uation. Headed

by Rajit Punhani, manhis motivated hatred, picture by in racial the ‘wanted’ social tent hundreds of inmares in horse ry (Kashmir) the home ministry, the team poster. Scared a cause forlife, deep mourning. few for his Irfan Ahmad AShah caterpillars have farms in the US aborted their submitted a report, based on days later, thethe US image Supreme claimed that wasCourt from become a posterfoetuses at the time forwas no which the J&K same government ruled same-sex legal a family picnic at marriage a tourist park in child of a more readily After adviseddiscernible to beef reason. up security across the country, a cause last for neighbouring Baramulla inclusive view of some this loss was aroundsleuthing, telecom infrastructure. celebration.

Pondering forthese year. As compensation the sociality Rehman’s political traced the horses having swalThe to police lost face as it failed events, that regoof-up,I felt, the confusingly, police have advised affiliation ensured lowed large number of prevent tent cato nabathe culprits and al change in how we humans Shah to be alert and stay indoors. widespread terpillars along with further killings.

“All mouthfuls these killtreat each other both possible Former chief isminister Omar condemnation of of leaves.

Because tentand caterpilings are interlinked we’ll and unlikely.

Abdullah as well as the Hurriyat his killingI imaginedhave lar outbreaks aren’t too people,” frequent, these aborsoon neutralise these thatlinked thinking tent catertheabout killings to Union tion epidemics been noticed before, pillars woulddefence Gareeb Dass, DIGhadn’t north Kashmir, distractminister me fromManohar these difficult Parriand was described as being topics, but I didn’t toldthe thephenomenon media. them to inspire me. kar’s expect fairly recent ‘neutralise ter-I new science.

OntoJune 9, Bomai resident Alnever thought thatthrough the stories of anremark, insect rorist terrorist’ But knowledge such interactions was could upturn taf-ur-Rehman, whoofwas a pharstubbornly persistent ideas, reviving memories of a pro-govanything Across the globe in the macist asbut wellnovel. as a Hurriyat Conference (G) ideas as deep andcalled wildly different as what we ernment militia Ikhwan-ul-Muslimoon, Sahara camel herders known activist,Desert, fell to nomadic militant bullets as he was leav- think really means who we think whichsociety was responsible for and some of the worst as havehospital known for centuries that is ingthe theSahrawi sub-district after night duty. responsible generating cases of humanfor rights abuse inand the safeguardearly ’90s. pregnant camels will abort theirensured foetuseswideafter ingEvery Rehman’s political affiliation knowledge about thewants natural world.the If family in Sopore to know eating a particular species of caterpillar, spread condemnation of his killing, with Gee- there room for in the tales a canameisbehind therevolution mindless killings.

Theofpolice which appears inblame large numbers onagencies’. the tops of terpillar, lani putting the on ‘Indian people’s storiesrefuse will to spur say it’s thethen militants; the locals beacacia trees after heavy rains. This caterpillar change lieve thetoo.

‘Indian agencies’ have no role to play looks Egg onstrikingly the face similar to, and belongs to the in it. same family caterpillar that causes ambika kamath studies organismic evolutionary On June 16,as, a the daytent after unknown gunmen at Harvard University tawqeer hussain is a Delhi-based journalist horse Unlike scientists, killedabortions. the sixth man in the Sopore, policethe putSahup biology

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Leading man At Reverend Clementa Pinckney’s funeral in the Charleston church, Obama shed his cautious tone, getting emotionally involved with his rendition of ‘Amazing Grace’ reuters

AGENDA

The President’s moments With progressive triumphs on healthcare, race and LGBT rights, the last week of June was one of the best in Obama’s six-and-a-half-year presidency

sambuddha mitra mustafi

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merican exceptionalism’ is perhaps one of the most annoying, yet important concepts in contemporary global politics. First propounded by the French historian Alexis de Tocqueville in his 1840 magnum opus Democracy in America, the idea of exceptionalism positioned the US as an inherently unique nation on the planet: it was God’s chosen country, with the mandate to bring freedom and democracy to the rest of the world.

When President George W Bush invaded Iraq, his neocon advisers used the idea of American exceptionalism to gain domestic support for the war.

This silly idea that God chose the US as the shining city on the hill, as the leader of the free world, is deeply embedded in millions of American minds, textbooks and foreign policy. Republicans have often targeted President Obama for not believing in American exceptionalism and therefore being unpatriotic.

President Obama, meanwhile, had set out to redefine his country’s exceptionalism.

Rather than pegging it to history, God or territorial expansionism, he had set out to position America as a global leader in progressive values. His own election as the first African-American president was supposed to be the starting point of this progressive exceptionalism. And yet, for much of his presidency, he dithered.

Electoral pragmatism overtook his audacity of hope. In foreign policy, in race relations, in LGBT rights, climate change and healthcare, Obama was unable or unwilling to push through the progressive agenda that he had promised. After over 2,800 weeks of a detached, disappointing Obama presidency, the last week of June 2015 changed things around on at least three of those counts.

As a result, for the first time in two years, Obama’s approval rating has crossed 50 per cent. Into his last quarter as president, Obama is nowhere close to becoming the lame duck

his critics were predicting. to find our best selves.” For his efforts he was Obama’s blockbuster week started with the called Consoler-in-Chief. favourable Supreme Court ruling on his pet The Supreme Court’s ruling to legalise gay Affordable Care Act, that is, allowing state sub- marriages across the US topped off the fantassidies to more than six million Americans to tic week for Obama. The long-promised, longbuy health insurance. Republicans mounted a awaited progressive hero glowed brightly in strong challenge to the subsidised healthcare the rainbow lights that lit up the White House programme — popularly known as Obama- after the ruling. care — in the courts.

According to a Politico report, many saw the His administration had to deal with bloop- influence of Obama’s Hawaiian roots in the ers during the online rollout of the pro- success of his progressive agenda. Some 40 gramme, which hit its popularity. At times, years ago the island had become the first state Obamacare looked like it was destined to fail. to require employers to provide health beneBut with this court judgment, it has become fits. US’s same-sex marriage movement had alvirtually impossible for the Act to be repealed so received a boost when the Hawaii Supreme during the Obama presidency.

Court ruled in 1993 that denying gay people After the policy victory on the right to marry was a violation Obamacare, Obama showed of the state constitution. Growing that he really cared in Charlesup with his grandparents in this ton, South Carolina. The venue multi-ethnic, progressive state Into his last quarter was the Emanuel AME Church, (where the university football as president, Obama where a few days earlier nine team is called Rainbow Warriors) is nowhere close to African-Americans had been had left a deep impact on Presibecoming the lame killed by a white gunman in a dent Obama’s worldview. duck his critics were racist attack. Far too often in his But in Obama’s recent winning predicting presidency, Obama had tipstreak one can also see traces of toed around race relations. His another sporting team, this one own black roots had held him from his adopted hometown of back from taking bold steps Chicago. At their best in the 1990s, against discrimination, which the Michael Jordan-led Chicago research shows is still widespread in Ameri- Bulls were a fantastic fourth-quarter basketcan society. He did not want to be accused of ball team. In numerous games, just when ophelping his own. ponents thought they had the Bulls on the But at the eulogy he delivered at Reverend mat, the team would come back with a stunClementa Pinckney’s funeral in the Charles- ning fourth-quarter performance to steal the ton church, Obama shed his cautious tone, match. getting emotionally involved with his rendiLike the Bulls of the 1990s, and with no tion of ‘Amazing Grace.’ The rhetorical flour- more elections to fight, the former senator ish and messianic presence of 2008’s from Chicago may just be preparing for a ripcandidate Obama was back, when he remind- roaring fourth quarter of his presidency. Now, ed a grieving nation “out of this terrible trage- that would be a show to watch. dy, God has visited grace upon us, for He has allowed us to see where we’ve been blind... sambuddha mitra mustafi is the founder of He’s given us the chance where we’ve been lost The Political Indian tsome_buddha

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All the world’s a stage The price is right LIGHTHOUSE

Award-winning actress Priyanka Bose travels to London and New York with Nirbhaya, Yaël Farber’s written the brutalresources Delhi gang rape the winter of 2012 The mostplay efficient wayafter of allocating is to letinthings find their own equilibrium, their own prices London Naiima (my daughter) and I steal a moment together before rehearsals

Mumbai A day before the tour kicks off, it’s time to collect my new costume

The barometer Uber usesAnother dynamicmother-daughter ‘Us forever’ pricing, an from efficient moment, away the madness of work way of arriving at an appropriate price for their service based on demand and supply reuters/

Back on my feet The show must go on, and it did! sinbad phgura

C’est la vie In the hospital with co-star Poorna Jagannathan, after a meniscus tear

Stories untold Women power takes the centrestage

sergio perez

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Amit Varma is a novelist.

He blogs at indiauncut.com

few days ago, I got ready for a meeting, switched on my Uber app, saw that there were no taxis available in my area, and remembered an earthquake.

More than two decades ago, when I was in college in Pune, an earthquake ravaged Latur. I and some friends got together to collect money for relief efforts. We decided to go to the affected areas ourselves to figure out the most Between the lines Somewhere, in the efficient to useathe money.

We hitched a sinbad phgura middle ofway rehearsals, portrait ride in an ambulance of paramedics headed there with medical supplies. In the affected district, we stopped at a village where around half the houses had been destroyed, and only one grocery store had survived. “This is the only place one can buy groceries from,” a resident complained bitterly, “and they have tripled their prices.” That made me very angry.

“Exploitative bastards,” I thought to myself, “feeding off the misery of others.”

Today, I know that my reaction was misplaced — just like the complaints of everyone who has taken issue with Uber’s dynamic pricing. In case you missed the controversy, cabs and autos in Mumbai recently went on strike to protest the competition they got from the likes of Uber and Ola. Since people had to get daythe in the UK short-term At Doncaster.beneficiaries A picnic toLast work, ironic of andwere much-needed this the very relaxation parties they were protesting against. So when demand for a particular product or service goes up and supply can’t keep pace, what happens? That’s right, the prices go up, and Uber uses a mechanism called dynamic pricing, which is an incredibly efficient way of arriving at an appropriate price based on demand and supply.

So commuters who switched on Uber apps in the morning were informed that the base price had gone up by as much as five times.

Naturally, there was outrage, and Uber, rattled by the bad press, announced that they would suspend dynamic pricing for the duration of

the strike, and operate at their usual base fare. authors on their DP platform, but authors on They put this into effect, and I woke up the my Facebook timeline have already reacted next day, switched on my app, and found that with horror. Their instinctive aversion to the idea is understandable: commoditisation of no Uber cab was available.

When demand goes up relative to supply, art and all that. But their fears are overblown. I two things can happen. The price can go up to think this development, like almost everyreflect the growth in demand; or, if the price is thing Amazon has done with regard to books, fixed, there is inevitably a shortage of the is visionary and good for authors.

Look, there isn’t, and shouldn’t be, a central product or service in question. In Uber’s case, with their dynamic pricing disabled, all their politburo that decides how much authors get One for all, all for one Team Nirbhaya after curtain call cars quickly got booked, and whichever cus- paid according to some high-falutin notions tomers switched on their apps later found of literary merit. Authors get paid, quite simply, based on copies sold, and there were no cars available. how many people want to read Their need could have been urthem. Literary authors accept gent: they may have needed to that they will not make remoterush to the airport to catch a There isn’t, and ly as much as those who write flight they couldn’t afford to shouldn’t be, a airport potboilers. That’s just miss; or take an ageing relative to central politburo that fine, because if they’re good at hospital; or head to town for a decides how much what they do, they’ll find an aumake-or-break meeting. Even if authors get paid dience that appreciates their they were willing to pay more, according to some work anyway. too bad. high-falutin notions Amazon’s new system The most efficient way of alloof literary merit achieves the same end — paying cating resources is to let things writers according to the defind their own equilibrium, their mand for their writing — with own prices. Price controls are greater granularity. Good literafoolish and never work. And the demand for them is based on a sort of fantasy. ry writers will still make money — I devour evFixing the price of a product at a base price be- ery word Alice Munro or Anne Tyler write — low what the market would pay does not because their work is compelling. But if I get mean that everyone gets it at this price — it just bored with a writer after reading 10 pages of means that a lucky few get it and the others his work, I don’t see why he deserves any more don’t. The fundamental truth about the uni- of my money than for those 10 pages.

It’s somewhat silly for an author to have a verse is this: everything is scarce. You can’t wish this scarcity away by agitating or legisla- sense of entitlement, and believe that other people should pay him money even if he can’t ting against it. produce work they want to read. As silly, inpeaking of prices, another company that deed, as for a Uber user to feel entitled to the disrupted an industry, Amazon, has an- service at a lower price than others are willing nounced that it will pay authors on its Kindle to pay, at the expense, therefore, of the service direct publishing programme according to provider. Such arrogance is priceless. pages read, not units moved. This is an opt-in t@amitvarma programme, applying only to self-published

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BAWDY LINE

Conspiracy theory Voices in favour of indigenous Aryanism run the risk of being tagged ‘Hindu nationalist’

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Ambarish Satwik is a Delhi-based vascular surgeon and writer

s the glaucous Indus rushes, with crazed assiduity, through a deep and narrow and craggy gorge out of Ladakh and up into the groin between Gilgit and Baltistan, it passes by five villages occupied by a strange kind of primitive people. The Brogpas are relicts of a lost protoRgvedic Indo-Aryan tribe, allegedly of Caucasoid racial stock; about 5,000 of them in the villages of Garkone, Hanu, Dha, Beema, Dartsigs. Living in unmiscegenated, purebred isolation for a few thousand years now.

In the village of Dha, we looked long and hard at the woman’s sniffer. According to Max Müller, a straight and narrow and long proboscis (that could almost give an account of itself) was important. The particularity of the Aryan nasal organ was reportedly one of the clinchers of the Aryan Invasion Theory. In the Rgveda, the word a-nasa (noseless), as applied to the Dasyu, has been quoted by Max Müller (amongst others) to prove that the Dasyus were a flat-nosed people and therefore, by contrast the Aryans were straight-nosed.

On that peg was hung the weight of presumption of the conquest of Sapta-Sindhu by a straight-nosed alien people till Srinivas Iyengar, in 1914, pointed out that the word was actually ana-asa (those of incoherent speech).

The specimen of Brogpa snout in front of us was a fair to middling one, attached to a face that wasn’t exactly Nordic white. She wasn’t golden-haired (hiranyakeshin) by any measure but probably had polycystic ovaries as indicated by a noteworthy run of facial hair. And she wore a sheepskin tunic and a wonderfully resplendent headdress made out of large, luridly orange dried flowers. She looked like a protoRgvedic Frida Kahlo.

As I settled down later that night to narrate to my eight-year-old son the story of the Aryans, all I could come up with was a reduced account of the authorised history I had grown up on : In the beginning were the Indo-Europeans, originally a people in the Pontic steppe of South Russia. Some of them (the Indo-Iranians) branched off and settled down in Central Asia. Much later, one branch of the Indo-Iranians, the Indo-Aryans, migrated southeastwards into what is now Northern Pakistan and became the Vedic Aryans. They produced the various books of the Rgveda much before they came in contact with the other regions of India.

To the historians of India, the Aryan Invasion/Immigration theory (AIT) is an axiomatic fact. The Invasionists and Immigrationists agree that it was, at any rate, a kind of demographic infiltration that led to the obliteration of the native culture and languages. Well, that is the potted version.

The only basis for this theory is a linguistic one and it is this: the languages of Northern India, Iran, Central Asia and Europe are cognate. This Indo-European language family is completely unconnected to other language families (Semito-Hamitic, Dravidian, Austric, Sino-Tibetan) and must have descended from a common ancestral language spoken by a group of people inhabiting a shared, delineat-

Costume drama The Brogpas of Ladakh, a community believed to be of pure Aryan descent nissar ahmad

ed geographical homeland from where the ria) revealed that the late Rgveda, the Avesta, daughter languages scattered all over India, the rulers of Mittani and the Kassites (of BabyIran, Central Asia and Europe. The homeland, lonia) shared a common culture with comobviously, must have been in some reasonably mon names and name elements that are not central place, possibly South Russia. The Indo- encountered in the early and middle Rgvedic Aryan languages spoken in India, therefore, books, forensically indicating that the early are not indigenous, but owe their existence to Rgvedic canon represented a period anterior languages brought in by Aryan to the period of development of this common invaders/immigrants. culture? And it gave rise to the ineluctable The AIT is a narrative of slow migration of a conclusion that the direction of the migration people from one habitable region to the next, of the various branches of the Indo-Iranians installing themselves for a while and, in the was East to West and out of the Vedic area? process, not merely assimilating into the local What if the archaeological investigations of population but altering them phenotypically, the Ghaggar Hakra riverbed and the satellite culturally, religiously. It was a migration, how- imagery of the course of the primeval river ever, that left absolutely no trace in any ar- conclusively showed that it had almost dried chaeological or ethnic or textual record or in up by the second millennium BCE, and that traditional memory. long before that it was a mighty river, possibly In the service of half-suppressed relativism the Saraswati, mightier than the Indus and in historiography we must ask that a large number of archaeoourselves how we know what we logical sites of the Harappan cithink we know? Therefore, dear ties are actually located on the reader, let me ask you this: banks of this ghost river rather What if there were wellthan the Indus? What if this The Invasionists and founded linguistic arguments meant that the Vedic Aryans Immigrationists agree to prove that the locus of the that it was, at any rate, who lived on both banks of the protolanguage was close to the Saraswati in full flow (Rgveda a kind of demographic Vedic area and not somewhere VII.96.2) might have been ininfiltration that led to in South Russia? habitants of the region long bethe obliteration of the And that the Vedic dialect fore 1500 BCE and in fact may be native culture and with its three genders, three languages. Well, that is the indigenous Harappans? numbers, eight cases and 70 out Would all this evidence in fathe potted version of 72 basic cognate words might vour of indigenous Aryanism present the closest representabe allowed its rightful place in tion of the protolanguage? And the study of Indo-Aryan oriif there was rigid evidence in fagins? Or would it, in the circles vour of the idea that the Indus area was never of academe, be called a symptom of Hindu nanon Indo-European in speech; that there was tionalist discourse? And those questioning never a substrate of Dravidian languages in the status quo of the AIT? Reserved for them the North, that the oldest layers of Vedic litera- are some official phrases of disapprobation — ture contain no loan words from Dravidian ‘loonies’, ‘flat-earthers’, ‘Atlantists’, ‘function(not even hydronyms)? aries of the chaddiwallahs’, etc. On which side, And the evidence of the isoglosses (linguis- might I ask, lies the syndicate of partisans? Intic features that develop in a certain language digenous Aryanism is not a ‘nonsensical politiand then spreads to other languages and dia- cal theory’, not any more than the AIT. Is lects over a contiguous area) presented by the ‘adivasi’ a politically rigged word? great Hans Hock was found to be deliberately The Brogpas, primitive people of the pasbiased and selective and actually showed that tures, are adivasis under the law. They have the IE homeland simply couldn’t be situated folklore and songs that lament a lost homein a central area such as South Russia? land. Might one place that in Gilgit without What if the internal chronology of the early, being called a Hindu nationalist? middle and the late books of the Rgveda and asatwik@gmail.com the evidence in the Avesta and in Mittani (Sy-

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What women want

Stories forever

In Saul Bellow’s centennial year, celebrations have been disappointingly low-key in India. But he remains relevant for his writer’s voice and the contemporariness of his language attacked him throughout his life, and have done so posthumously, for his less-than-generous depictions of women or black Americans (a view that, informed readers will tell you, is utterly unfounded).

In Mr Sammler’s Planet, Dr Lal is a character on an equal footing with the novel’s Bellowian, dreamy and intelligent protagonist. Artur Sammler is a Polish Jew, a holocaust survivor, living in the New York of the ’70s. He is also a man composed of oldworld prejudices and is a self-avowed ‘Orientalist.’ But after meeting Dr Lal, and reading his manuscript on colonising the moon, called The Future of the Moon, Sammler is all admiration for the ‘Hindu scientist.’ “Lal was the real thing,” Bellow writes. “This was no charlatan, only an oddity. He was excellent, solid.”

Here’s a rough blueprint of every Bellow novel ever written: you take an oddity (usually a wise intellectual, a variant of the author’s autobiographical portrait), and place him at the centre; you then surround him with charlatans (those money-minded, streetwise, manipulative others). To label Dr Lal an oddity — and if the link is authentic, to see Ramanujan as one — was an act of writerly generosity on Bellow’s part. He saw something of himself in his Indian friend, and gave something of himself to this composite Indian character he so sympathetically painted in his novel.

Bellow, to be sure, was a product of his time.

Deep bonds Bellow may have fallen out of favour with the average Indian reader, but his own interest in In the post-war era, the world hadn’t quite Indian history, philosophy and culture did, in fact, run deep ap opened up. The major cultural transaction was between Europe and America. And Bellow ell me an interesting Indian sto- place in a Bellow novel. The following sounds combined in his novels the high seriousness ry.” American novelist and No- like Bellow but is actually from Ramanujan’s of European thought with the joie de vivre bel laureate Saul Bellow poem, ‘Anxiety’: The earth has bone for muscle/ that was typical of the American experience addressed these words to writ- And the air is a flock of invisible pigeons. And back then. But now, in this day and age, the er UR Ananthamurthy, many years ago, when whereas this poetic image reminds one of Ra- question of relevance arises for the contempoboth were at the Chicago residence of the poet manujan, it comes from Bellow’s novel Seize rary reader. To what extent is Saul Bellow releAK Ramanujan. Such moments are sparse in the Day: “Everyone was like the faces on a play- vant to our experience? the oral history of literary gossip. It’s one of ing card, upside down either way.”

Perhaps it is the wrong question to ask. Litthose convergences of great rarity — like cerThe rhythmic similarities of their language erature is not a hostage to topicality. (As Ezra tain planetary alignments — that forces us to aside — they strove in their writPound said, “Literature is news ascribe deeper meaning to it. ings to echo closely the melothat stays news.”) But still let us atThere’s clearly more going on here, we tell dious cadences of speech — the tempt to answer it. Bellow’s releourselves, than a gettogether arranged by a two sensibilities at play here vance, at least for this reader, lies Bellow combined in few Chicago University boffins. When Anan- were very much alike. Both the in the writer’s voice, in the conhis novels the high thamurthy relates to Bellow one of Vaikom writers were nakedly autobiotemporariness of his language. seriousness of Muhammad Basheer’s tales — ‘an interesting graphical and both enjoyed It’s a voice that makes you sit up, European thought Indian story’ — we view this less as an instance mixing a certain grandiloleave whatever you are doing, and with the joie de vivre listen. He spoke not to a generaof one writer humouring the other than as a quence of style — words like ‘huthat was typical of meeting of minds and not least a lucky con- man’, ‘self’, ‘species’, ‘heart’ — tion or a country when he wrote the American fluence of cultures. with downright mundane conin Herzog, “I go after reality with Over the years, Bellow may have fallen out cerns. I am reminded of Rama- experience back then language. Perhaps I’d like to of favour with the average Indian reader, but nujan calling a bulb ‘a cousin of change it all into language...” his own interest in Indian history, philosophy the Vedic sun’; and of Bellow’s Bellow’s reality — foolish inteland culture did, in fact, run deep. Behind it lay Artur Sammler, the one-eyed lectuals, urban conmen, adultery, his admiration for Ramanujan, a feeling that protagonist of Mr Sammler’s disease, breakdown and death — later matured into friendship.

Planet, comparing the moon — ‘A white cor- is all around us, and it travels across genera“I am the hyphen in Indo-American”: with roded pearl’ — to his eyeball. tional and geographical bounds. The celebrathis self-definition, Ramanujan bridged the diThe literary link between Bellow and Rama- tions of the Bellow centennial this year have vide between the two cultures he identified as nujan was actually established by another In- been disappointingly low-key, and there’s his own. But his expertise of the western can- dian poet, Adil Jussawalla, who believed that barely been a mention here in India. But peron — Shakespeare, Whitman, Yeats and Eliot — an Indian character in Mr Sammler’s Planet, haps the occasion will allow some of us to reviwas what at first drew Bellow towards him. named Dr V Govinda Lal, ‘is based at least a lit- sit the universal reality Bellow tried to weave Bellow, by his own admission, was ‘aston- tle on’ Ramanujan. through his language — a reality he imparted ished’ at Ramanujan’s understanding of the Back in the day, it was consensus that only to us through some of the most interesting British and American poets. “He really gets in- the star-crossed and the damned ended up as American stories, which of course were his side these poets,” said Bellow.

Bellow characters. The novelist was notorious stories, but also ours.

I sometimes think that there are sentences for settling scores through his fictional porin Ramanujan’s poems that won’t seem out of trayals — of ex-wives, of former friends. Critics vineet gill is a journalist with The Sunday Guardian

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Few relationships stand the test of time like the one between a woman who wears a sari and the tailor who makes her blouse. The person who creates the perfect fitted blouse is guarded like treasure, his number shared with only the best of friends. But like you kiss many frogs until you find your prince, you must wear many unflattering blouses before you find the right pair of hands for that one-metre magic.

Meet some of India’s coolest ladies tailors

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Ladies’ tailors

Shubhangini Singh, who runs a design studio at Shahpur Jat in New Delhi, gets her best blouse tailors from the small towns of Uttar Pradesh ramesh sharma

Vineet Gogiya, proprietor and head designer of Eve’s — south Delhi’s favourite blouse showroom, meets clients only by appointment during the busy festive and wedding season ramesh sharma

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warovski crystals, flowers in pink, fabric as soft as ‘rose petals’ — Vineet Gogiya, 37, looks completely enamoured of his creation, a blouse that could set any bride back by at least ₹40,000.

Except, this one is not for sale. It is Gogiya’s labour of love, a gift for his wife of seven years.

Proprietor and head designer of Eve’s — south Delhi’s favourite blouse showroom in Greater Kailash — Gogiya and his 32-year-old ‘master’ tailor from Lucknow, Mohammed Javed, add sparkle and shimmer to the Capital’s weddings with their famed creations. A team of 24 tailors gives shape to client demands at a workshop in Kalkaji, about 10 minutes from the air-conditioned showroom. The footfall during peak season (Dussehra, Diwali and, of course, weddings) is anywhere between 100 and 150 a day. To contain the pandemonium that comes with festivals, Gogiya meets clients only by appointment during the busiest months. Each client, whether old or new, can order only five pieces at one go. The

basic blouse at Eve’s comes for ₹400, while the dle difficult clients (of which there are plenty) most elaborate ones can cost you more than a and find good tailors to retain our place in the designer lehenga or sari. top bracket,” he says.

“There are days when we don’t have the The hunt for a good tailor is what makes or time to break for tea or answer calls from breaks your career in stitching, agrees designhome,” says the mild-mannered proprietor as er Shubhangini Singh, an NIFT graduate who he pins up the ‘Aishwarya Rai blouse’ on a runs a studio in Shahpur Jat, south Delhi. mannequin. Curiously this blouse, also not for Singh’s benchmark for a good tailor was set sale, has images of Amitabh Bachchan more than 15 years ago in Jaipur, when she first (not son, Abhishek) all over it. This accompanied her mother to a shop in the Old is certainly not the first face City. “Parmanandji is still in business and hunon a Gogiya blouse. Naren- dreds of women from my mother’s generadra Modi was the first tion won’t wear a blouse stitched by any man to adorn a silk other,” says Singh as she supervises her team blouse last year, be- at work. She also remembers the finesse of the fore he was elected Rajputi poshak (a four-part costume: lehenga, Prime Minister. Vi- kurti, odhni and kachli) hand-stitched by womrat Kohli was next, en from the villages around her hometown. in a blouse fittingly Her best tailors — Rajinder Kumar, Devender named after Kumar and Rakesh Kumar Sharma — are from Anushka Sharma. small towns in Uttar Pradesh. All three were The ‘only for dis- employed in export houses, stitching garplay’ blouses are ments for brands like Mango, Zara and Benewhat Gogiya does to tton. The switch to Indian ‘bridal and occasion take his wear’ wasn’t easy, but Singh’s mind off firm belief in genetics paid off. the workload.

Heredity, coupled with passion Inspiration for clifor the perfect fit, is what brings ent designs often Salim, 43, to Delhi every week. A Eighteen years later, comes from the big screen (Ka- Gogiya doesn’t regret resident of Moradabad in neighreena Kapoor’s tomato-red bouring UP, he is one of the hunthat he didn’t Chammak chhallo blouse in dreds of tailors whom Delhi’s complete college like Ra.One was a rage), though Gogisari-crazy women swear by. Sahis elder brother ya shows scant respect for the lim’s calendar has at least two costume in Indian soaps. visits to the Capital every week. It Being a blouse designer was takes him at least four hours by not exactly what Gogiya wanted train to reach New Delhi. He as a career when he first came to Eve’s — it knows every bus and metro route by heart, started from a small room in the same market thanks to clients in every corner of Delhi NCR. more than 30 years ago — as a college fresher.

Salim prides on his ability to copy a design.

Father Santosh, a tailor from Dehradun and And he doesn’t need to pull the measuring the founder of Eve’s, wanted the younger son tape around a client if she is hesitant. “I can to handle accounts for a while. Eighteen years get the measurement from any sample — be it later, Gogiya doesn’t regret that he didn’t com- a kurta, shirt or another blouse,” he says. A plete college like his elder brother, who works week to 10 days is what he takes to deliver the at a leading sports channel. He, however, is un- finished product, which comes for a modest sure if he would like his four-year-old son to price of ₹300 for a no-frills blouse. continue the business. “I grew to love my job, but it is a challenge to keep reinventing, han- aditi sengupta

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Not enough love bytes

Ladies’ tailors

A comedian explores the intersection of technology and modern romance, leaving you with a few guffaws but nowhere nearer to finding a soulmate

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unnyman Aziz Ansari can ings), much of it serves only to hamper the now add another feat to his reader. Among his sources is a subreddit from list: published author. The the popular (yet junky) website Reddit that Indian-American known for served to ‘conduct a massive online focus his stand-up comedy and a growing group’ with thousands of responses from acting career has just released Mod- around the world. Focus groups seem to be a ern Romance. Ansari describes it as favourite with him. Apart from the subreddit, a ‘massive research project’, in he conducts several more in-person focus which he attempts to explore the groups across the continents to supplement Sahul Hamid, owner of Nisha Tailors in Chennai, holds his own against readymade blouses with his perfect fitting creations bijoy ghosh unique intersection of technology his research. and romance after failing to find The writing too in Modern Romance is unlike ‘the kind of comprehensive, in-depth what many of his fans have come to know and sociological investigation [he] was love. Having carved a name for himself with a looking for’. Knowing that he, the ‘bozo comedy routine that is crude yet personal, this comedian Aziz Ansari probably couldn’t book seems particularly off-brand for Ansari.

Chennai tackle this topic on [his] own’, he enlisted Its language and tone are in a constant state of the helpand of New sociologist ment wo days before her best friend’s wed- computer, flux; its nevertaking truly afeel he York takesUniversity her measurements andreaders don’t mind riskcomfortable or two. “My Eric Klinenberg. ding, Kaavya Kumar landed in Chen- himself, with Ansarihave or hisworn writing. moment they keying them rapidly into the system. customers my One designs for wedAs Ansari investigates theand state of she ro- dings nai with a newly bought sari and an Nine inches are asked to followand theDelhi, analysis graphs, and at the back, he says, when in Mumbai andofthe standard mancea today, discusses everything from unstitched blouse. in the nextthey theyhave are reading suggests deeperhe cut, he raises an eyebrow in response gotten aisjoke ‘Oh,that youwould dress his parents’ marriage to conthe like Armed with unshakeable faith and ru- disapproval. havethis killed in his regular routine.

Ninearranged and a half, he finally in Chennai?’” shestand-up says. types of dating profilesa that mours of one-hour tailoring services, we ac- cedes.

The brief moments of to Aziz AnWhen she suggests sleeveless blouse, Blouse-making charges today go up ₹400 thehis most messages and Three inches for a basic style companied her to Chennai’s Ranganathan he fetch sari-like comedic interjection shakes head in refusal. and rise steadily as you addbea why Soaplands have Street in T Nagar. Barely had we stepped into minimum, gin to seem likeback, a treat for having he insists and,become left with too few op- lining, a dori (strings) at the embroidery, more common in agrees.

Japanese the notoriously crowded street than we were tions, endured the previous pages of Kaavya hurriedly sequins, tassels and more.

A wedding blouse He discusses society.

For those not in the is nothing with gold-thread accosted by young men touting the services of knowledge-share.

Moreover, This ingrained conservatism embroidery and other bells everything from his Soaplands are places the scores of tailoring outfits in the neigh- new,know, is no arc—inor his ‘resays Lavanya Mohan, a sari enthusiast and whistles there can cost updefinable to ₹20,000 even parents’ arranged menup (ortrying women) lieher family tai- ₹1 lakh, if Hamid bourhood. Adroitly spotting the sari in Ku- whowhere search’. words, the style long gave to get is toIn beplain believed. marriage to the types onstitch waterproof mattresses, mar’s bag, they descended on us, muttering, lor to ofend storytelling is pooris because the modern styles she wanted. “In At the other of the spectrum the tiny of dating profiles that covered in lubricant, and “Sari-aa, madam? Blouse venuma (looking for Chennai, there isn’t ainclearly getting a sexy blouse is hard because air-conditioned cubicle whichdefined Vishnuone.

Kufetch the most then experience woman a blouse), madam?”

The sees no personal tailors often say ‘no’ato experi-(or marreader of VK Tailors holds fort in messages man) slide them sexWe fended off three or four of them as we menting growth in Ansari, just thestrongbeginwith over styles, andfor end Sowcarpet, a Marwari pleasure. determinedly made our way towards the first up ual nings realisation. doing things their own holdofina the heart of Chennai.

But why theTailors suddenwho intersign that promised “one-hour tailoring” and way,” she So, while takes after into adds.

We arrive the at book the shop in love?

Ansari, walked into Nisha Tailors, fingers crossed. Sa- haveest account, the methknown customers for like a windingand ourdiscusses way through narIn Chennai, getting a of us,them recently thesexy inextrichul Hamid peers at us above his glasses, mea- long many of finding row yourbylanes, soulmate using time treat like realised fampast the technolooccasionblouseods is hard able relationship between his smart-tailors suring tape draped around his neck, and ily, and gy often today, Ansari makes his stance he end up raising neckal cow, women with clear: covered because and his lovesleeve life. After suffering laughs outright when we ask if we can get a lines phone doesn’t have one, and he doesn’tbarbeand extending heads anddefinitely shopkeepers refuse toaexperiment read dis- styles blouse tailored in an hour. “That’s only for sal- lengths, lieve in extremes.

He talks aboutHindi. how his dad she receipt laments.but no response, a with gaining in fluent out to discover why picked his wife (she war kurta,” he says, “It will take me one hour was says just the height) Like tressed Mohan,Ansari many sets younger Kumar thatright growing up a spouse has so compli- and how we have just to cut the pattern for the blouse!” While womenfinding than he everlearnt with have deserted the become loin more Sirohi,options Rajasthan, cated.inHis focus how the process of apps like Tinder the minimum delivery time is four days, with cal masters websites like match.com; favour of — newer toand stitch as a boy because he love hascharge evolved a bit of pleading he agreed to give it to us in 36 blousefinding he avoids the pitfall of providdesigners who a with technolo- and, thankfully,preferred working with his gy but — reminds of to the in hands hours, just in time for the wedding. ing an ‘expert’ opinion on what inarguably premium are morereaders receptive theways stylish to studying at school.

Heisset out to seea mobile apps today. and websites are the Midway through the discussion a couple blouse which complex sociological patterns in demand world, and foundtopic. himself in Chennai dochanging everything from her who we ingUnsurprisingly, stops by to ask Hamid where they could buy the before back cover of the book Radha Rajakrishnan, who started tailorodd tailoring jobs settling down in meet, howAmrita we meet, and how we stay in Sowcarpet. readymade blouses, and he readily directs ing boutique features, alongside for says the Custom Elegance “That wasadvance way backpraise in 1979,” over the course of the ourconservarelation- Kumar, them to the nearest shop. Asked whether the 2003, touch work, a quote a woman hegoing consulted says Chennai is no longer “now from I can’t imagine back;forI ship, and not always the better. readymade blouse business had eaten into his tive, kanjeevaram-only his ‘massive research project’. conflict ofmyinkindfor of place that out- have settled here.

I used to do A everything In an effort to “I behave transparent, Ansari self, profits, he dismisses my question with a siders perceive terest? but25one thingworking is clear:for Modern it to be. had customers butPerhaps, now I have people me.” through endnotes, hearty chuckle. “Readymade blouses fit terri- comingprovides, Romancecall mayfor probably not attention, help you find your to me with explicitcountless instructions about Blouses his special though. context forcomplaining the many quotes, bly,” he says, “and those who want quality will what theythe soulmate, will allow you to find solace in want, while about “I still cut but theitpatterns for every blouse mypeople graphs he references. always come to a tailor like me.” the fact of yourthat peers their tailors who balkand at backless styles and re- self,” he that says,most explaining thisare is no thecloser most While many oflengths,” his sources And their numbers are legion, going by the fuse to go beyond to finding theirs either.

Ansari says, “the decorous she are re- important part of the Astailoring process. including and explainfully computerised system in place for taking counts. Over theworth main thing learnedhave frombeen all this research years, she has observed that it “That’s why I’ve customers loyal to me ing (such as the data from orders and recording measurements, and the is not just necklines is that we’re all in it together”. that have dropped and all these years!” large dating but websites, schol20 tailors employed at the shop. Kaavya is cus- backs that have disappeared, textures too shutterstock abid haquemathew is a writer based in Washington DC research find- elizabeth tomer number 29890, Hamid shows us on his have changedarly andarticles, womenand want to experi-

T Modern Romance Aziz Ansari Penguin Press Non-fiction $28.95

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Ladies’ tailors

Manish Jolly, whose family business specialises in stitching only blouses, says he can create the garment without taking any measurements paul noronha

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t’s a wonder what powers 25 years of blouse-cutting can endow you with. Manish Jolly, whose family business specialises in stitching only blouses, believes he can now create the garment without taking any measurements. “I can look at a woman and figure out the size. Sab nazar ki baat hai (it’s down to observation skills),” he says from his shop in Kemps Corner. At his workshop, junior tailors help stitch the blouses, but the authority to cut the material lies only with him.

He guarantees that his clothes don’t need further alteration once he’s done with them.

Customers who flock to his workshop are usually armed with a snapshot of a Bollywood actress from a film or red carpet event. Jolly, like most blouse tailors, has learnt to quickly master the style that is trending. He watches every Bollywood flick to get a heads-up on what could next catch the fancy of his clientele. “The last film I saw was ABCD (Any Body Can Dance). But nobody wore a blouse in that,” he informs.

The latest fad, he says, are backless cholis with three-quarter sleeves, a la Deepika Padukone in Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela. “She wore three different cuts of blouses in that film. I can copy all of them. Jaise computer main file copy hota hai, ek baar blouse dekhne ke baad uska design mere dimaag main copy ho jaata jai (like a computer copying a file, my mind can register a blouse design with a sin-

gle glance),” he says.

Malhotra encourages them to experiment Many of these celebrity blouses were, in with her original designs. Nevertheless, there fact, first created at tailor Sanjay bhai’s work- will always be the request to replicate someshop in Santa Cruz. He enjoys the reputation thing from a film. In her experience, there’s alof tailoring for nearly every actress in Bolly- ways a clamour to own a Sabyasachi lookalike. wood today. Sanjay bhai may have lost count “His blouses are also one of the toughest to of the number of years he’s been in the busi- make. You need to take tiny pieces of cloth and ness, but he clearly remembers put them together, which is why that his first few assignments it takes longer to make,” she says. were for actresses like MeeOne of Jolly’s strongest selling nakshi Seshadri and Shilpa Shipoints is that Sabyasachi Mukrodkar, which makes him a What Sabyasachi sells herjee farms out a lot of tailoring veteran in the field. The Ram-Leework to him. He admits that for ₹15,000 in his la cholis are among his most when he gets a bulk assignment store, I can give you popular creations. “I make whatfrom the designer, he makes a for ₹2,100. And it is ever the costume designer creblouse from the unused material the exact same thing ates for a particular character. and sells it cheaper. In fact, he has They take a lot of inputs from me the designer’s consent. “What Satoo. I feel happy when I see their byasachi sells for ₹15,000 in his copies in the market after the store, I can give you for ₹2,100. film releases,” he says. Amongst his most And it is the exact same thing,” he says. Given ripped-off blouses are Vidya Balan’s from Pari- that he’s privy to Mukherjee’s secret cuts, a neeta, Sushmita Sen’s from an item number in bulk of Jolly’s assignments involve replicating Fiza, Sonali Bendre’s in Sarfarosh and Madhuri those designs. While he knows this makes him Dixit’s in Devdas. a favourite with a lot of South Mumbai womPali Hill resident Sunila Malhotra has been en, he also sounds a tad exasperated. “Abhi designing her own blouses for a while now. main thak gaya hoon. Sabyasachi ka copy karte She enjoys playing with different necklines karte main aadha Sabyasachi ban gaya hoon (I and cuts. As compliments began coming her am fed up… I’ve become half-Sabyasachi way, she quit her maths teacher job at a city now),” he rues. college and turned professional blouse designer. Having built up an extensive client list, mohini chaudhuri

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Ladies’ tailors

Enduring patterns The decades-old KG Rao Tailors, run by two brothers, will find place in any respectable list of blouse tailors in Hyderabad arunangsu roy chowdhury

Silent force A still from Labour of Love, which won the National Awards for Best First Film and Best Audiography this March

PICTURE THIS

Days and nights in the city Aditya Vikram Sengupta’s ambitiously wordless debut feature, Labour of Love, displays a striking grasp of sound and image

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t first you see nothing. The screen is tary lunch from her tiffin box, and returns to suddenly sees the woman’s face behind her dark, and all you have is the voice of the desk with not much to do except day- stick-on bindi; the woman, entering the beda TV newsreader announcing in dream until the bell announces end of the day. room at night, is alarmed by the man’s trouBangla that “in the last week, ap- The man watches over the rumble and clatter sers hanging from the bed rail.

Sarvamangala1,200 Chavali, ownerhave of Anagha, whichjobs stocks blouses from an proximately people lost their of thecrafted press as it spews out a steady stream of Sengupta has mentioned being influenced Jus’ Blouses makes tocaarunangsu roy chowdhury array of handlooms in West Bengal. In a state of fear, panic and newspapers. He, too, has a solitary dinner. Sen- by Satyajit Ray, and one visual of a tramcar order for the luxe end of rage, people are taking to the streets to rally gupta alternates between the lonely silences ble certainly brings to mind Ray’s Mahanagar the market mohammed and protest”. The broadcast is followed by the of the home and the mechanical noises out- (1963), which famously opened Hyderabad yousuf with a staccato titling, with the camera travelling slowly side. But noise can be political, and quiet isn’t titling sequence with shots of just such a cadown a dirty wallintodemand, the rising notes of always heyyellow are much and equalmelancholy. “but anyone can After the night-long rattle ble, and ended with thestyles, husband wife and aand delightthe shehnai.

When the ends, the music ly difficult totitling find, like elsewhere in of machinery, the pre-dawn street is delicious- melting into the big city, buoyed learn it if they by the belief ful confection in does too, and is in theInhush of early morning the it country.

Hyderabad, however, ly still, and the tinkling bells from a passing that they could both getpink pay attention.” jobs. By cutting his that carried that we see young woman in a printed yel- herd thea ‘master’ who tailors the perfect positively bucolic — though shots of the cable to theFrench At ofthegoats other sound knots of a workers’ in gold low sari,iswalking purposefully fromoldus. they’re blouses invariably a Muslim away gent with likelyofheading luxe end the to the butcher’s. rally against job cutbacks, Sengupta thread and marks a tagthe of The only sound is that of little children singschool training and years of experience, one scale Released some Indian cities last week, La- distance we have travelled is Jus’inBlouses. fromAppliqué that optimis₹17,000. on ing, frompeer a nearby The speccam- bour whoperhaps will typically at youschool. over moon of Love comes with the recommendation tic moment.

NIFT-trained designer tulle net is big, crystals era follows the woman as sheasmoves briskly of tacles, nodding abstractedly you outline Best Debut Mahendra Director prize at Venice Days, Varsha But the economic also scalloped the film’s arebackdrop still ‘in’,isand through a narrow lane, allowing us to that look he at held the various peculiarities of your shape alongside the Venice opened the boutique’s firstInternational Film weakest link: edges surely are India, particularly all and the rage…

Plus, her redpay half-sleeved her batik tote alas, bag, Festival must particularblouse, attention to. Also, and in modelled on the store in 2010 Khairatabad, folWest Bengal werework relatively there is a line of Kutch that’s aone thick plait hanging down her back, belonging to a fast-vanishing breed.before prestigious Directors’ Fortnight lowed by another in upscale Banjara Hills insulated“I’ve from the effects of increasingly popular. become bolder sheAny boards a tram. list We of seeblouse her change bus, at respectable tailorstoinaHydCannes.

It also won National and the third is coming up in Dallas, USA. This with the designs,the global recession?

A butrecent they’re working.

Women and finally her destination, almost erabad mustarrive surelyatinclude KG Rao Tailors, en- Awards First you Filmwant and to pull out all are eager to experiment,” is wherefor youBest go when revealing says subtitling Mahendra.error running thequaint-looking stairs as a bell establishment goes off to de- Best sconced up in its Audiography. the stops.

Apart from the readymadeSome blouses translates newsreader’s Twoseem streets away from Jus’the Blouses in Banjasequences clare theLane, working day open. No one knows onSengupta in Park Secunderabad. certainly a gift sale, at this designhas shop you canmetaphorical: walk in ra Hills moddhobitto inis Anagha, which stocks—anmiddle interesting are our Meanwhile, somewhere, young precisely wheninita room was started — “at aleast 70 for auraljust detail, andand leave withvisual fabric,and or even an idea, with range ‘working class’. The blousescome with—a as focus on handlooms. protagonists likeof the man his “before morningIndependence” cup of tea. He emergyearsdrinks ago” or is the his remarkable refusal of both a quality garment that will soon filmfind can racks also seem contrived of Kalamkari, goats, going peacefully You’ll es fromyou hiswill bath with a few washed clothes, plot closest get. and adialogue focuses our atbecome talking point.

A simple in its deliberate old-world Phulkari, silk, Mangalagiri to slaughter? and wefounder, see a cotton sariGanapati and a maroon pettiThe Keerti Rao, is no tention successfully each blouse could cost on between feel, and in having both proweaves, cotton, brocade and coat. little while later,Kwhen he heads more,Aleaving his sons Kishore Kumarout andon K sound, he places be₹1,700 each and image ₹2,500 to make, tagonists refrain works from calling Kutch embroidery — all If you stitch the cloth ranging aSuresh bicycle to buy weishear the chilKumar in groceries, charge. This a modest es- fore A fish still breathing whileus. more elaborate patterns each other, even refusing to from ₹1,100 to ₹7,000. holding it cross dren singing catering again. to the ‘daily wear’ cate- heavily tablishment as itup awaits deathand by boti command to ₹5,500 expick up the mobile phone Anagha doesn’t custom-make instead of straight, it other Of such little clues Aditya Sengupgory — it charges ₹150isto tailorVikram a blouse — and (a used by Bengali fishtracutting for theinstrument stones, embroidery when the callsbut from work.. is a blouses, then again,There each pathas a lot similarity more ta’s debut film made, the most undraif you want frills suchweaving as embroidery and lace, monger traditional housewife alike), and otherand embellishments. here tocomes The Lunchbox (2013) and where, tern in 10 colours six many matic actions into an for intriguingly wordless coins you’ll have to organise it. into an earthen bank, a Not “Youslipped get readymade blousespiggystretch... too, the premise forunit the sizes.ofItsseparate in-housespheres tailoring people knowprotagonists how to tapestry everyday The Bangla title,“It’s Ashaa perfect Why isofthe blouselife. such a challenge? crescent moon the night sky — everywhere theseofdays, butin I was required the artificial absence of will do some tweaking to give do that Jaoar Maajhe,garment, would translate literally to ‘betight-fitting so there are so many de- the first last,to with rueful accompanied by anymore actually sit irony, down and phone contact. you a better fit. Sarvamangala tween comingKumar and going’, and it becomes tails,” Kishore says, reaching out for a Geeta singing Nishi32, raat designDutt blouses in sizes 34,banka chaand The tributeChavali, to youthful the coupledom owner, says,recalls “We clear the woman and man we“See, see departpiecethat of fabric to demonstrate: if you akashe, when thesays. only“My signteam of the beloved is more traditional 36...” Mahendra tales, like O Henry’s Thetend Gift to of change designs often and ing andthe arriving a couple.

One works stitch cloth are holding it cross insteadinofa his kurta. andcrushed I worked out a way to make the Magi. But there is no neat resolution, tragic go to Bollywood for inspiration — bag factory during the day, the You other in to a blouses straight, it has a lot more stretch. need Some that sequences metaphorical: are or comic, to Asha suit 90 seem per cent of Majhe. popular.

What it achieves theyJaoar are always A while printing pressto at night. know where place the cloth like that. It our likeinto the account goats, going peacebodyprotagonists shapes, taking various fac- with beauty the feeling of nights and ago, quiet we had the is Chammak chhallo (Ra.One) In both cinematography doesn’t takeworkplaces, more cloth the to do it that way; it’s fully slaughter? areofthey like the water in days, tors. to About 10 per Or cent women need extra stacked up in a ceaseless queuein—Singh all that blouse, the one Katrina Kaif wore is (by and Mahendra Shetty) and the just Sengupta a better technique.

Not many people pan, which must sizzlelearnt and disappear be- time customisation, but we’ve how to deal waiting for the one moment when King spent and also the design Deepika Padukone sound design (bythat Anish John) — come together know how to do anymore everything is fore oilas is well.” poured in: one must vanish be- the withthe those solitariness of routine might ruptured. wore in the song Badtameez dil be (Yeh Jawaani to produce a tangible sense of the repetition, fore stitched straight.” the other appears.

For each, the house is Hai Deewani).”

Among the store’s impressive collection even boredom labour.toThe woman When did heofbegin learn?

“I’vetallies been haunted other,in and the and film bronze shows this an array by of the blouses gold for trisha gupta is a writer and critic based in Delhi sheetal vyas is a Hyderabad-based writer boxes fullinofthe bags against list.eight,” She hashea says, soli- playfully. working shop since aI was The man, looking intointhe wedding wear, exclusive pieces themirror, latest t@chhotahazri

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Best actress The search for the right Miss Tanakpur was an arduous one for director Vinod Kapri (inset)

Ladies’ tailors

bling an afternoon Subway sandwich. From the store’s ingenuous ‘menu’, they just need to choose the fabric and design of their liking.

The future of the blouse is inextricably linked to that of the sari. The experience of selling saris online has Darshan convinced that there is life yet in the whole six yards. “Consumption of saris is fairly high amongst people from South India, Odisha and West Bengal. Added to them, you have the diaspora… enough to sustain 50 of us doing a large amount of business.” The fact that saris are increasingly relegated as occasional attire has inadvertently helped boost sales. “If you have worn a sari to a wedding once, you won’t want to wear it again. As a result, my wife has more saris than my mother.” Speaking of trends, Lipika adds one more to the list: before choosing a saree, many of her customers are buying a blouse first. “The idea is simple. If I have a nice, sexy blouse, I’ll invent an occasion for my sari.”

Over the past two years, the business has completely transformed the siblings’ lives.

Darshan frequently, and rather awkwardly, finds himself discussing the sizes of low-cut blouses with his mother-in-law, while Lipika has had to deal with clients well past midnight. “I once received a call at 1.30am. A woman was calling from the US and she wanted 50 silk blouses. When ost proverbs in Hindi seem to owner. They also advised me to find a buffalo fortunately, he achieves none I asked her about of this.

In his suggest that the buffalo is the that had just given birth because if you keep film, Miss Tanakpur is held hostage the colours she by corrupt most dim-witted animal. Sample her near the newborn, she would remain wanted, thedung clicops who are greedy for her milk, her Cut to the chase With waiting periods averaging 30 days during the Puja season, in Kolkata out with ancalm,” improbable promise these V-Cut — ‘akal badistarted ki bhains’, he says.

Kapri did as he was ent leftand meadumbis counted as evidence, medishreevatsa or nevatia — blouse tailored and delivered within 72 hours; (inset) co-owner Dudhoria ‘bhainsLipika ke aage been bajana’, ‘gayi bhains paa- told. Every time the buffalo had founded. cal practitioner is forced to inni mein’. None of these phrases have anything to perform, her baby was ‘Rainbow vent injuries on hercolours body.

Kolkata complimentary to say about the animal. So placed right near the camfamily.’

None ofand thistheir is funny, nor when Vinod Kapri, former journalist and pro- era so that she could look all she said.” doesThat’s it evoke sympathy or Calcuttans, Southern Avenue is un-a To lific documentary filmmaker, dared to make get a matching blouse at it and play the part.

Thecreature. duo shares a for the anthe address affluence. film withdoubtedly a buffalo in lead, heofbraced him- stitched, haveTanakto go The rolethey of Miss hearty at the cliHis laugh troubles don’t Frequented by morning and to self for the worst. Having enduredwalkers the imposshops inbeen narrow purthese must not have ent’s but the are endambiguity, there. Before loversa alike, thetoboulevard has lanes. sible taskfurtive of getting buffalo emote, Kapri an easyTailors one. Forhere one, will she somequick to point out that their film’s release, Kapri rerecently with series of assessnovel times feels thatbeen such lined proverbs area an unfair you wait for two weeks, if plays amake rape victim.

Later, NRI and other overseas ceived death clientele threats signsboards. black“All advertisements point ment of the The animal. these sayings are not month. Moreover, you’ll never be happy fetch them serious from the a village khap panreturns.

Darshan says, khap panchayats the wayBuffaloes to a nearby store, which is almost as with wrong. are the most sensitive and intheforces fitting.” chayat her to marry “Many of my online customers were finding it in Haryana, who funnily offbeat its publicity poster. At However, first glance, telligentasanimals,” he concludes. he the“Giving women that perfect blouse” is the impossible (to get enough man who allegedly had blouses tailored) in places feel they’ve been the interiors V-Cut resemble a conventional admits thereof were days when his actors had to stated of in the but V-Cut such as California, sex withintent her. And theDudhorias, film’s Houston andlight.

New York. cast in a poor They We arurban boutique, but setting it apart are the achieves wait around for almost two hours because something more. has extricated knew there was final moments, she runs outIton opportunity here, but gue an they are too sensible to endless rows oftoblouses that buffalo refused squat for theflank scene.its walls. customers from longdramaticalqueues at her wedding rather there a major obstacle: How force awas man to marry a buffalo, as Having promoted itself as ‘The Blouse Kapri’s film Miss Tanakpur Haazir Expert’, Ho re- busy tailors’ shops and extended ly. This bizarre premise is not Kado we in getthe measurements?”

To shown film. True to form, V-Cut disappoint. georgette and to leaseddoesn’t last week.

The castFrom boasts great actors them the red carpet out pri’s imagination, butrolled one that this Lipika has designed an theyend, called for Kapri’s beheading The animal had to be chanderi shimmer there is in like Annuto Kapoor, Omand Puriembroidery, and Sanjay Mishra. sari store.

“Wea he an has upscale partly borrowed from online tutorial for measuring to protest this injustice.

The reFlipkart simply cooperative, should hardly a fabric or style thein store show- were And yet, the best scenes thisdoesn’t humourless enteringBack a wholly unorgareal incident. in 2012, when oneself, but when with ward offered was 51faced buffaloes. walked into an be able to give the case princess, sweetheart, halters, corsets nised film —undoubtedly belongs to the buffalo, Flipkart, inhe wassector. heading a Hindifornews more a “Don’t queries they stopshe girlsorganises from wearunorganisedwe world expressions were Skype and even theMiss PeterTanakpur, Pan collar. which plays the winner of a lo- stance, walked channel,simply he read that a into man an in and session between customer ing jeans, don’t they stop them organised That looking for it. and calSiblings beautyDarshan pageant.and HerLipika mostDudhoria, attractiveaged fea- unorganised orgaRajasthan hadworld been and sentenced and have toor make sure fromtailor. going“We to bazaar, carrying wascouldn’t our intention be 32 and respectively, togetheran tellinordinate their very nised ture is 25 that she can produce Thatin was to fiveit.years jailour forintention raping a that we have the fitting right. cell phones?

Don’t they beat up with blouses aggressive personal story of “It entrepreneurship.

In 2013, amount of milk. was really very tough to with blouses,” says Darshan. buffalo.

This appeared on The the Once shipped, no shown bringcouples?

I thinkthere whatisI’ve Darshan’s wifebuffalo.

Megha Ifound herself rather fed Puja find the right had three-four criteria. season that year proved to BBC website in a section that feaing the blouses back.” is mild.

They need to be exposed up Kolkata. city’s cultural mores The with animal had to The be cooperative, should be be a litmus test of sorts.

With tured the ridiculous happenV-Cut’s Kolkata more,” retorts Kapri.team of 40 forced wear saris more than waiting able toher givetothe expressions weregularly were looking periods across city aveings of our country. soon hopes to have a pan-India Ironically, Kapri ended up fallshe otherwise would, but she was excessively for and couldn’t be aggressive.

Also, since she raging 30 days, V-Cut made an improbable presence. Buttressing Intrigued by how such a case his design talent ing victim tosister’s the same social evils annoyed by athe indifferent lazy she tailors. was playing beauty contestand winner, had promise blousein tailored delivered withcould be—argued court, and Kapri set off to the with hisplanning penchant numbers, Darshan also he was tofor expose through his film.

Darshan sums it upsays with a laconic, “Essential- in to look attractive,” Kapri.

72 hours.

“That 72-hour time limit soon bevillage to speak with those involved.

“I hasOn a way words.

“There arethe three things a the with bright side, last year, court in Raly, one my wife’stook blouses soon got spoilt.”

Li- came The of filmmaker pointers from the sciourthis USP,was andfascinating. even though my increased thought There was great woman needs when out — boots, bags jasthan acquitted thegoing man who was falsely acpika, onat the other hand,Dairy long familiar the volumes entists the National Institutewith in Karme Itowanted keep that exacta and scope for don’t a darkallow comedy. to make Buying a blouse, cusedblouses. of this bizarre crime.

So whilewe the feel, film many customers visiting parents’lady. silk sanal before zeroing in on her his leading By deadline, do our ensure that the blouse is ready commentI on legal system and how it is shouldn’t be any more than was buying may be a drag, at least indifficult real life there jusree shop,ofsaw pattern inaher the end it, hea had learnt fairsister-in-law’s bit about the for its first within threeindays,” Lipika. possible totrial prove anything court.says If you take shoes a purse.” tice fororhim and the real Miss Tanakpur. woes. buy “They saris worth ₹50,000 ₹1 Clients psyche“Women of a buffalo. told me to find aorbufare handed chartin that makes blousethe Sanjeev Nandaa case New Delhi, they nevatia mohini chaudhuri lakh, but they common complaint. falo which hadalla have goodarelationship with her making seem the equivalent assemproved that thelike BMW was a truck,” heofsays.

Un- shreevatsa

Finding Miss Tanakpur

The task of getting a buffalo to emote behind him, director Vinod Kapri says the animal has been wrongly judged

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Grey area Rainclouds add to the electric ambience at the Gateway of India

Surf ‘n’ turf People often ignore high-tide warnings to enjoy this quintessential mon n

Happy feet A football match in progress at Oval Maidan

Work goes on Office-goers negotiate a waterlogged street in South Mumbai

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Take a break Fishing is banned during the monsoon, so the boats and the fishermen stay ashore

n nsoon moment Last train home A crowded platform on the Western line

Water world Mumbai wouldn’t be the Mumbai we love without the incessant rain, the high tide, the waves crashing on boulders, and the romance

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he rains have arrived in Mumbai and it is the same story of waterlogging, bumper-to-bumper traffic, delay and cancellation of flights and trains (including suburban trains). News reports and footage on television channels suggest that the Mumbaikar is in deep water. Not everyone is complaining though.

For children, it means hours of football mingled with the joy of getting soaked to the skin. And nobody ever tires of walking down Marine Drive in blinding rain and watching the Arabian Sea at its moody best. The fishermen pull their boats back from the sea and wait for the skies to clear up. Thousands of commuters, jostling for space on crowded platforms, use the extra minutes to catch up with fellow passengers. paul noronha

Fare play There’s no stopping the determined bhajiwala (vegetable vendor)

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Ladies’ tailors

Enduring patterns The decades-old KG Rao Tailors, run by two brothers, will find place in any respectable list of blouse tailors in Hyderabad arunangsu roy chowdhury

Silent force A still from Labour of Love, which won the National Awards for Best First Film and Best Audiography this March

PICTURE THIS

Days and nights in the city Aditya Vikram Sengupta’s ambitiously wordless debut feature, Labour of Love, displays a striking grasp of sound and image

trisha gupta

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t first you see nothing. The screen is tary lunch from her tiffin box, and returns to suddenly sees the woman’s face behind her dark, and all you have is the voice of the desk with not much to do except day- stick-on bindi; the woman, entering the beda TV newsreader announcing in dream until the bell announces end of the day. room at night, is alarmed by the man’s trouBangla that “in the last week, ap- The man watches over the rumble and clatter sers hanging from the bed rail.

Sarvamangala1,200 Chavali, ownerhave of Anagha, whichjobs stocks blouses from an proximately people lost their of thecrafted press as it spews out a steady stream of Sengupta has mentioned being influenced Jus’ Blouses makes tocaroy chowdhury array of handlooms in West Bengal. arunangsu In a state of fear, panic and newspapers. He, too, has a solitary dinner. Sen- by Satyajit Ray, and one visual of a tramcar order for the luxe end of rage, people are taking to the streets to rally gupta alternates between the lonely silences ble certainly brings to mind Ray’s Mahanagar the market mohammed and protest”. The broadcast is followed by the of the home and the mechanical noises out- (1963), which famously opened Hyderabad yousuf with a staccato titling, with the camera travelling slowly side. But noise can be political, and quiet isn’t titling sequence with shots of just such a cadown a dirty wallintodemand, the rising notes of always heyyellow are much and equalmelancholy. “but anyone can After the night-long rattle ble, and ended with thestyles, husband wife and aand delightthe shehnai.

When the ends, the music ly difficult totitling find, like elsewhere in of machinery, the pre-dawn street is delicious- melting into the big city, buoyed learn it if they by the belief ful confection in does too, and is in theInhush of early morning the it country.

Hyderabad, however, ly and the tinkling bells from a passing that they could both getpink paystill, attention.” jobs. By cutting his that carried that we see young woman in a printed yel- herd thea ‘master’ who tailors the perfect positively bucolic — though shots of the cable to theFrench At ofthegoats other soundknots of a workers’ in gold low sari,iswalking purposefully awaywith fromoldus. they’re blouses invariably a Muslim gent likelyofheading luxe end the to the butcher’s. rally against job cutbacks, Sengupta thread and marks a tag the of The only sound is that of little children singschool training and years of experience, one scale Released some Indian cities last week, La- distance we have travelled is Jus’in Blouses. fromAppliqué that optimis₹17,000. on ing, frompeer a nearby The speccam- NIFT-trained who perhaps will typically at youschool. over moon bour of Love comes with the recommendation tic moment. designer tulle net is big, crystals era follows the woman as sheasmoves briskly Varsha tacles, nodding abstractedly you outline of Best Debut Mahendra Director prize at Venice Days, But the economic alsoscalloped the film’s arebackdrop still ‘in’,isand through a narrow lane, allowing us to that lookhe at opened the various peculiarities of your shape held alongside the Venice the boutique’s firstInternational Film weakest link: edges surely are India, particularly all and the rage…

Plus, her redpay half-sleeved her batik tote alas, bag, store must particularblouse, attention to. Also, Festival and in modelled on the in 2010 Khairatabad, folWest Bengal werework relatively there is a line of Kutch that’s aone thick plait hanging down her back, belonging to a fast-vanishing breed.before lowed prestigious Directors’ Fortnight by another in upscale Banjara Hills insulated from the effects of increasingly popular.

“I’ve become bolder sheAny boards a tram. list We of seeblouse her change bus, and respectable tailorstoinaHydat Cannes.

It also won National the third is coming up in Dallas, USA. This with the designs,the global recession?

A butrecent they’re working.

Women and finally her destination, almost erabad mustarrive surelyatinclude KG Rao Tailors, en- is Awards First you Filmwant andto pull out all are eager to experiment,” wherefor youBest go when revealing says subtitling Mahendra.error running up its thequaint-looking stairs as a bell establishment goes off to de- the sconced in Beststops.

Audiography.

Apart from the readymadeSome blouses translates newsreader’s Twoseem streets away from Jus’the Blouses in Banjasequences clare theLane, working day open. No one knows onSengupta in Park Secunderabad. certainly a gift sale, at this designhas shop you canmetaphorical: walk in ra Hills moddhobitto inis Anagha, which stocks—anmiddle interesting are our Meanwhile, roomstarted somewhere, young precisely wheninita was — “at aleast 70 with for visual auraljust detail, andand leave fabric,and or even an idea, with range ‘working class’. The blousescome with—a as focus on handlooms. protagonists likeof the man his“before morningIndependence” cup of tea. He emergyearsdrinks ago” or is the ahis remarkable refusal of both quality garment that will soon filmfind can racks also seem contrived of Kalamkari, goats, going peacefully You’ll es fromyou hiswill bath with a few washed clothes, become closest get. plot andadialogue focuses our attalking point.

A simple in its deliberate old-world Phulkari, silk, Mangalagiri to slaughter? and wefounder, see a cotton sariGanapati and a maroon pettiThe Keerti Rao, is no blouse tention could successfully each cost on between feel, and in having both proweaves, cotton, brocade and coat. little while later,Kwhen he Kumar heads out more,Aleaving his sons Kishore andon K ₹1,700 sound, each he places beand image ₹2,500 to make, tagonists refrain works from calling Kutch embroidery — all If you stitch the cloth ranging aSuresh bicycle to buy weishear the chilKumar in groceries, charge. This a modest es- while fore us.

A fish still breathing more elaborate patterns each other, even refusing to from ₹1,100 to ₹7,000. holding it cross dren singing catering again. to the ‘daily wear’ cate- command tablishment heavily as itup awaits deathand by boti to ₹5,500 expick up the mobile phone Anagha doesn’t custom-make instead of straight, it other Of — such little clues Aditya Sengupgory it charges ₹150isto tailorVikram a blouse — and tra (a cutting used by Bengali fishfor theinstrument stones, embroidery when the callsbut from work.. is a blouses, then again,There each pata lot more ta’s debut film made, the most undraif you want frills suchweaving as embroidery and lace, and monger traditional housewife has alike), otherand embellishments. similarity here tocomes The Lunchbox (2013) and where, tern in 10 colours six many matic actions into an for intriguingly wordless coins you’ll have to organise it. into an earthen bank, a Not “Youslipped get readymade blousespiggystretch... too, the premise forunit the sizes.ofItsseparate in-housespheres tailoring people how to tapestry everyday The Bangla title,“It’s Ashaa everywhere Why isofthe blouselife. such a challenge? perfect crescent moon the night sky know — protagonists theseofdays, butin I was required the artificial absence of will do some tweaking to give do that Jaoar Maajhe,garment, would translate literally to ‘betight-fitting so there are so many de- the first last,towith rueful accompanied by anymore actually sit irony, down and phone contact. you a better fit. Sarvamangala tween comingKumar and going’, and it becomes tails,” Kishore says, reaching out for a design Geeta Dutt singing Nishi32, raat blouses in sizes 34,banka chaand The tributeChavali, to youthful the coupledom owner, says,recalls “We clear the woman and man we“See, see departpiece that of fabric to demonstrate: if you 36...” akashe, when thesays. only“My signteam of the beloved is more traditional Mahendra tales, like O Henry’s Thetend Giftto of change designs often and ing andthe arriving a couple.

One instead works inofa and stitch cloth are holding it cross his crushed kurta.

I worked out a way to make the Magi. But go there is no neat resolution, tragic to Bollywood for inspiration — bag factory during the day, the You other in toa blouses straight, it has a lot more stretch. need Some that sequences metaphorical: are or comic, to Asha suit 90 seem per cent of Majhe.popular.

What it achieves theyJaoar are always A while printing pressto at place night. the cloth like that. It body know where our protagonists likeinto theaccount goats, going peaceshapes, taking various fac- ago, with quiet beauty the feeling of nights and we had the is Chammak chhallo (Ra.One) In both doesn’t takeworkplaces, more cloth the to docinematography it that way; it’s tors. fully to slaughter? areofthey like the water in blouse, About 10 per Or cent women need extra days, stacked up Katrina in a ceaseless queuein—Singh all that the one Kaif wore is (by and Mahendra Shetty) and customisation, just Sengupta a better technique.

Not many people the pan, which must sizzlelearnt and disappear be- King but we’ve how to deal time and spentalso waiting for the one moment when the design Deepika Padukone sound design (bythat Anish John) — come together know how to do anymore everything is with fore the oilas is well.” poured in: one must vanish be- wore those the solitariness of routine might in the song Badtameez dil be (Yehruptured.

Jawaani to produce a tangible sense of the repetition, fore stitched straight.” the other appears.

For each, collection the house is Hai Deewani).”

Among the store’s impressive even boredom labour. woman When did heofbegin toThe learn?

“I’ve tallies been an haunted other,in and theand film bronze shows this array by of the blouses gold for trisha gupta is a writer and critic based in Delhi sheetal vyas is a Hyderabad-based writer boxes fullinofthe bags against list.eight,” She has soli- wedding working shop since Iawas heasays, playfully. wear, The man, looking intointhe exclusive pieces themirror, latest t@chhotahazri

T

Q Q R R

ND-X _ A

BL

cover watch

saturday, july 4, 2015

Best actress The search for the right Miss Tanakpur was an arduous one for director Vinod Kapri (inset)

Ladies’ tailors

bling an afternoon Subway sandwich. From the store’s ingenuous ‘menu’, they just need to choose the fabric and design of their liking.

The future of the blouse is inextricably linked to that of the sari. The experience of selling saris online has Darshan convinced that there is life yet in the whole six yards. “Consumption of saris is fairly high amongst people from South India, Odisha and West Bengal. Added to them, you have the diaspora… enough to sustain 50 of us doing a large amount of business.” The fact that saris are increasingly relegated as occasional attire has inadvertently helped boost sales. “If you have worn a sari to a wedding once, you won’t want to wear it again. As a result, my wife has more saris than my mother.” Speaking of trends, Lipika adds one more to the list: before choosing a saree, many of her customers are buying a blouse first. “The idea is simple. If I have a nice, sexy blouse, I’ll invent an occasion for my sari.”

Over the past two years, the business has completely transformed the siblings’ lives.

Darshan frequently, and rather awkwardly, finds himself discussing the sizes of low-cut blouses with his mother-in-law, while Lipika has had to deal with clients well past midnight. “I once received a call at 1.30am. A woman was calling from the US and she wanted 50 silk blouses. When ost proverbs in Hindi seem to owner. They also advised me to find a buffalo fortunately, he achieves none I asked her In about of this. his suggest that the buffalo is the that had just given birth because if you keep film, Miss Tanakpur is held hostage the colours she by corrupt most dim-witted animal. Sample her near the newborn, she would remain wanted, thedung clicops who are greedy for her milk, her Cut to the chase With waiting periods averaging 30 days during the Puja season, in Kolkata out with ancalm,” improbable promise these V-Cut — ‘akal badistarted ki bhains’, he says.

Kapri did as he was ent left meadumbis counted as evidence, and medishreevatsaor nevatia — blouse tailored and delivered within 72 hours; (inset) co-owner Dudhoria ‘bhainsLipika ke aage been bajana’, ‘gayi bhains paa- told. Every time the buffalo had founded. cal practitioner is forced to inni mein’. None of these phrases have anything to perform, her baby was ‘Rainbow vent injuries on hercolours body.

Kolkata complimentary to say about the animal. So placed right near the camfamily.’

None ofand thistheir is funny, nor when Vinod Kapri, former journalist and pro- era so that she could look all she said.” doesThat’s it evoke sympathy or Calcuttans, Southern Avenue is un-a To lific documentary filmmaker, dared to make get a matching blouse at it and play the part.

Thecreature. duo shares a for the address affluence. film withdoubtedly a buffalo inanthe lead, heofbraced him- stitched, haveTanakto go The rolethey of Miss hearty at the cliHis laugh troubles don’t Frequented by morning and to self for the worst. Having enduredwalkers the imposshops inbeen narrow purthese must not have ent’s but the are endambiguity, there. Before loversa alike, thetoboulevard has lanes. sible taskfurtive of getting buffalo emote, Kapri an easyTailors one. Forhere one, will she somequick to point out that their film’s release, Kapri rerecently with series of assessnovel times feels thatbeen such lined proverbs area an unfair you wait for two weeks, if plays amake rape victim.

Later, NRI and other ceivedoverseas death clientele threats signsboards. black“All advertisements point ment of the The animal. these sayings are not month. Moreover, you’ll never be happy fetch them serious from the a village khap panreturns.

Darshan says, khap panchayats the wayBuffaloes to a nearby store, which is almost as with wrong. are the most sensitive and inthe fitting.” chayat forces her to marry “Many of my online customers were finding it in Haryana, who funnily offbeat its publicity poster. At However, first glance, telligentasanimals,” he concludes. he the“Giving women that perfect blouse” is the impossible (to get enough man who allegedly had blouses tailored) in places feel they’ve been the interiors V-Cut resemble a conventional admits there of were days when his actors had to stated of in the but V-Cut such as California, sex withintent her. And theDudhorias, film’s Houston andlight.

New York. cast in a poor They We arurban boutique, but setting it apart are the achieves wait around for almost two hours because something more. final moments, she runs outItonhas extricated knew there was opportunity here, but gue an they are too sensible to endless rows oftoblouses that buffalo refused squat for theflank scene.its walls. customers from longdramaticalqueues at her wedding rather there a to major obstacle: How force awas man marry a buffalo, as Having promoted itself as ‘The Blouse Kapri’s film Miss Tanakpur Haazir Expert’, Ho re- busy tailors’ shops and extended ly. This bizarre premise is not Kado we in getthemeasurements?”

To shown film. True to form, V-Cut disappoint. georgette and to leaseddoesn’t last week.

The castFrom boasts great actors them the red carpet out pri’s imagination, butrolled one that this Lipika has designed an they end, called for Kapri’s beheading The animal had to be chanderi shimmer there is in like Annuto Kapoor, Omand Puriembroidery, and Sanjay Mishra. an upscale sari store.

“Wea he has partly borrowed from online tutorial for measuring to protest this injustice.

The reFlipkart simply cooperative, should hardly a fabric or style thein store show- were And yet, the best scenes thisdoesn’t humourless enteringBack a wholly unorgareal incident. in 2012, when oneself, but when with ward offered was 51faced buffaloes. walked into an be able to give the case princess, sweetheart, halters, corsets nised film —undoubtedly belongs to the buffalo, Flipkart, inhe wassector. heading a Hindifornews more queries she organises a “Don’t they stop girls from wearunorganisedwe world expressions were and even theMiss PeterTanakpur, Pan collar. which plays the winner of a lo- stance, channel,simply he readwalked that a into man an in and Skype session between customer ing jeans, don’t they stop them organised That looking for it. and calSiblings beautyDarshan pageant.and HerLipika mostDudhoria, attractiveaged fea- unorganised orgaRajasthan hadworld been and sentenced and have toor make sure fromtailor. going“We to bazaar, carrying wascouldn’t our intention be 32 and respectively, togetheran tellinordinate their very nised ture is 25 that she can produce Thatin was to fiveit.years jailour forintention raping a that we have the fitting right. cell phones?

Don’t they beat up with blouses aggressive personal of“It entrepreneurship.

In 2013, amount ofstory milk. was really very tough to with blouses,” says Darshan. buffalo.

This appeared on The the Once shipped, noshown bringcouples?

I thinkthere whatisI’ve Darshan’s wifebuffalo.

Megha Ifound herself rather fed Puja find the right had three-four criteria. season in that year proved to BBC website a section that feaing the blouses back.” is mild.

They need to be exposed up Kolkata. city’s cultural mores The with animal had to The be cooperative, should be be a litmus test of sorts.

With tured the ridiculous happenV-Cut’s Kolkata more,” retorts Kapri.team of 40 forced wear saris more than waiting able to her givetothe expressions weregularly were looking periods across city aveings of our country. soon hopes to have a pan-India Ironically, Kapri ended up fallshe otherwise would, but she was excessively for and couldn’t be aggressive.

Also, since she raging 30 days, V-Cut made an improbable presence. Buttressing Intrigued by how such a case design ing victimhis tosister’s the same socialtalent evils annoyed by athe indifferent lazyshe tailors. was playing beauty contestand winner, had promise blousein tailored delivered withcould be—argued court, and Kapri set off to the with hisplanning penchant numbers, Darshan also he was tofor expose through his film.

Darshan sums it upsays with a laconic, “Essential- in to look attractive,” Kapri.

72 hours.

“That 72-hour time limit soon bevillage to speak with those involved.

“I hasOn a way with words.

“There are three things the bright side, last year, the court in Ra-a ly, The one of my wife’stook blouses soon got spoilt.”

Li- came filmmaker pointers from the sciourthis USP,was andfascinating. even though my increased thought There was great woman needs when out was — boots, bags jasthan acquitted thegoing man who falsely acpika, onatthe other hand,Dairy long familiar the volumes entists the National Institutewith in Karme Ito keep that exacta and scope for don’t a darkallow comedy. wanted to make Buying a blouse, feel, cusedblouses. of this bizarre crime.

So whilewe the film many customers visiting parents’lady. silk sanal before zeroing in on her his leading By deadline, do our ensure that the blouse is ready commentIon legal system and how it is shouldn’t be any more than was buying may be a drag, at least in difficult real life there jusree shop, pattern inaher the end ofsaw it, hea had learnt fairsister-in-law’s bit about the for its first within threeindays,” Lipika. possible totrial prove anything court.says If you take shoes a purse.” tice fororhim and the real Miss Tanakpur. woes. buy “They saris worth ₹50,000 ₹1 Clients psyche“Women of a buffalo. told me to find aor bufare handed chartinthat makes blousethe Sanjeev Nandaacase New Delhi, they nevatia mohini chaudhuri lakh, but they common complaint. falo which hadalla have goodarelationship with her making seem the assemproved that thelike BMW wasequivalent a truck,” heofsays.

Un- shreevatsa

Finding Miss Tanakpur

The task of getting a buffalo to emote behind him, director Vinod Kapri says the animal has been wrongly judged

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Not enough love bytes

Ladies’ tailors

A comedian explores the intersection of technology and modern romance, leaving you with a few guffaws but nowhere nearer to finding a soulmate

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unnyman Aziz Ansari can ings), much of it serves only to hamper the now add another feat to his reader. Among his sources is a subreddit from list: published author. The the popular (yet junky) website Reddit that Indian-American known for served to ‘conduct a massive online focus his stand-up comedy and a growing group’ with thousands of responses from acting career has just released Mod- around the world. Focus groups seem to be a ern Romance. Ansari describes it as favourite with him. Apart from the subreddit, a ‘massive research project’, in he conducts several more in-person focus which he attempts to explore the groups across the continents to supplement Sahul Hamid, owner of Nisha Tailors in Chennai, holds his own against readymade blouses with his perfect fitting creations bijoy ghosh unique intersection of technology his research. and romance after failing to find The writing too in Modern Romance is unlike ‘the kind of comprehensive, in-depth what many of his fans have come to know and sociological investigation [he] was love. Having carved a name for himself with a looking for’. Knowing that he, the ‘bozo comedy routine that is crude yet personal, this comedian Aziz Ansari probably couldn’t book seems particularly off-brand for Ansari.

Chennai tackle this topic on [his] own’, he enlisted Its language and tone are in a constant state of the help and of New sociologist flux; wo days before her best friend’s wed- computer, readers nevertaking truly afeel he York takesUniversity her measurements mentits and don’t mind riskcomfortable or two. “My Eric Klinenberg. ding, Kaavya Kumar landed in Chen- himself, Ansarihave or hisworn writing. moment they keying them rapidly into the system. with customers my One designs for wedAs Ansari investigates theand state of she ro- are nai with a newly bought sari and an Nine inches asked to followand theDelhi, analysis graphs, and at the back, he says, when dings in Mumbai andofthe standard mancea today, discusses everything from unstitched blouse. the nextthey theyhave are reading suggests deeperhecut, he raises an eyebrow in in response gotten aisjoke ‘Oh,that youwould dress his parents’ marriage to conthe have Armed with unshakeable faith and ru- disapproval. killed in his regular routine.

Ninearranged and a half, he finally like this in Chennai?’” shestand-up says. types of dating profilesa that mours of one-hour tailoring services, we ac- cedes.

The brief moments of Aziz AnWhen she suggests sleeveless blouse, Blouse-making charges today go up to ₹400 thehis most messages and Three inches for a basic style companied her to Chennai’s Ranganathan he fetch sari-like comedic interjection be-a shakes head in refusal. and rise steadily as you add why Soaplands have become Street in T Nagar. Barely had we stepped into minimum, gin to seem likeback, a treat for having he insists and, left with too few op- lining, a dori (strings) at the embroidery, more common in Japanese the notoriously crowded street than we were tions, endured the previous pages of Kaavya hurriedly agrees. sequins, tassels and more.

A wedding blouse He discusses society.

For those not in the is nothing with gold-thread accosted by young men touting the services of knowledge-share.

Moreover, This ingrained conservatism embroidery and other bells everything from his Soaplands are places the scores of tailoring outfits in the neigh- new,know, is no arc—inor his ‘resays Lavanya Mohan, a sari enthusiast and whistles there can cost updefinable to ₹20,000 even parents’ arranged menup (ortrying women) lieher family tai- ₹1 lakh, if Hamid bourhood. Adroitly spotting the sari in Ku- whowhere search’. words, the style long gave to get is toIn beplain believed. marriage to the types onstitch waterproof mattresses, mar’s bag, they descended on us, muttering, lor to ofend storytelling is pooris because the modern styles she wanted. “In At the other of the spectrum the tiny of dating profiles that covered in lubricant, and “Sari-aa, madam? Blouse venuma (looking for Chennai, there isn’t ainclearly getting a sexy blouse is hard because air-conditioned cubicle whichdefined Vishnuone.

Kufetch the most thenoften experience woman a blouse), madam?”

The sees no personal tailors say ‘no’ato experi-(or marreader of VK Tailors holds fort in messages man) slide them sexWe fended off three or four of them as we menting growth in Ansari, just thestrongbeginwith over styles, andfor end Sowcarpet, a Marwari pleasure. determinedly made our way towards the first up ual nings doing things their own holdofina realisation. the heart of Chennai.

But why theTailors suddenwho intersign that promised “one-hour tailoring” and way,” she So, while takes after into adds.

We arrive the at book the shop in love?

Ansari, walked into Nisha Tailors, fingers crossed. Sa- haveest account, and the methknown customers for like a winding ourdiscusses way through narIn Chennai, getting a of us,them recently inextrichul Hamid peers at us above his glasses, mea- long many of finding row yourbylanes, soulmate using time treat like realised fam- thesexy past the technolooccasionblouseods is hard ableend relationship his smart-tailors suring tape draped around his neck, and ily, and gy often today, Ansari makeswomen his stance he up raising between neckal cow, with clear: covered because and his lovesleeve life. After suffering laughs outright when we ask if we can get a lines phone doesn’t have one, and he doesn’tbarbeand extending heads anddefinitely shopkeepers refuse toaexperiment read dis- styles blouse tailored in an hour. “That’s only for sal- lengths, lieve in extremes.

He talks aboutHindi. how his dad shereceipt laments.but no response, a with gaining in fluent out to discover why picked his wife (she war kurta,” he says, “It will take me one hour was says just the height) Liketressed Mohan,Ansari many sets younger Kumar thatright growing up finding a spouse has so compli- and how we have just to cut the pattern for the blouse!” While women than he everlearnt with have deserted the become loin more Sirohi,options Rajasthan, cated.inHis focus how the process of apps like Tinder the minimum delivery time is four days, with cal masters websites like match.com; favour of —newer toand stitch as a boy because he love hascharge evolved a bit of pleading he agreed to give it to us in 36 blousefinding he avoids the pitfall of providdesigners who a with technolo- and, thankfully,preferred working with his gy but — reminds of to the in ing hours, just in time for the wedding. an ‘expert’ opinion on what inarguably premium are morereaders receptive theways stylish hands to studying at school.

Heisset out to seea mobile apps today. and websites are complex Midway through the discussion a couple blouse which sociological patterns in demand the world, and foundtopic. himself in Chennai dochanging everything from her who we ingUnsurprisingly, stops by to ask Hamid where they could buy the before back cover of the book Radha Rajakrishnan, who started tailorodd tailoring jobs settling down in meet, howAmrita we meet, and how we stay in features, readymade blouses, and he readily directs ing boutique for says the Custom Elegance Sowcarpet.alongside “That wasadvance way backpraise in 1979,” over the course of the ourconservarelation- work, them to the nearest shop. Asked whether the 2003, touch a woman hegoing consulted forI says Chennai is no longer Kumar,a quote “now from I can’t imagine back; ship, and not always the better. readymade blouse business had eaten into his tive, kanjeevaram-only project’. conflict ofmyinkindfor of place that out- his have‘massive settled research here. I used to do A everything In an effort to “I behave transparent, Ansari terest? profits, he dismisses my question with a siders perceive but25 one thingworking is clear:for Modern it to be. had customers self, butPerhaps, now I have people me.” through endnotes, hearty chuckle. “Readymade blouses fit terri- comingprovides, mayfor probably not attention, help you find your to me with explicitcountless instructions about Romance Blouses call his special though. context forcomplaining the many quotes, bly,” he says, “and those who want quality will what theythe will allowfor you to find solace in want, while about soulmate, “I still cutbut theitpatterns every blouse mypeople and graphs he references. always come to a tailor like me.” of yourthat peers their tailors who balk at backless styles and re- the self,”fact he that says,most explaining thisare is no thecloser most While many oflengths,” his sources And their numbers are legion, going by the fuse to go beyond finding theirs Ansari says, “the decorous she are re- to important part either. of the Astailoring process. including and explainfully computerised system in place for taking counts. Over theworth learnedhave frombeen all this research years, she has observed that it main “That’sthing why I’ve customers loyal to me ing (such as the data from orders and recording measurements, and the is not just necklines we’re all in it together”. that have dropped and is allthat these years!” dating but websites, schol20 tailors employed at the shop. Kaavya is cus- backs that have large disappeared, textures too shutterstock haquemathew is a writer based in Washington DC elizabeth research find- abid tomer number 29890, Hamid shows us on his have changedarly andarticles, womenand want to experi-

T Modern Romance Aziz Ansari Penguin Press Non-fiction $28.95

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Ladies’ tailors

Spirit wild Despite centuries of domestication, for field and carriage, horses still remain symbols of freedom shutterstock

PAPERWALLAH

H is for Horse

Horses have prolifically occupied our literary landscape and they are imbued, almost always, with a sense of wildness

janice pariat

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omewhere in the Dorset countryside journey he experiences. Smith, I’m told, based belong in the same universe as a creature like we came across a painting. him on the character Johnny in William Bur- this.” In Peter Shaffer’s Equus, this adulation is In a butter-cupped field, against a roughs’ The Wild Boys. taken to the extreme by Alan Strang, a 17-yearbackdrop of trees and early summer We sourced a gentler work from Philip Lar- old with a pathological religious fascination sky, a horse. Like something by George Stubbs, kin. In ‘At Grass’ — so technically perfect it’ll for horses. In true Shaffer style, the play gloria 19th-century English artist famous for his make you weep — our provincial poet observes ously expands. The psychiatrist’s struggle to portraits of equine creatures. “What shall we two race horses (although the term ‘horse’ is treat the boy and return him to ‘normal’ forms name him?” I asked my walking companion. never once used) in retirement. They begin in a central thematic concern — an Apollonian ‘Ariel.’Jolly, whose family business specialises in stitching anonymity, cancreate hardly them out’ taking andanyDionysian dichotomy.

Manish only blouses,‘the sayseye he can thepick garment without measurements paul noronha The conflict beAfter, along the trail (to The Mitre Inn pub), in the shade, and he imagines them in the tween the rational and irrational, the orderly we collected horse poems. Sylvia Plath’s God’s past, cheered and celebrated. At first it seems a and chaotic. “The Normal is the good smile in Mumbai lioness/How one we grow/Pivot of heels and lament, of youthfulness lost, then the mood a child’s eyes — all right,” he says, “It is also the knees! and Ted Hughes’ ‘Megalith-still’ animals shifts: ‘Do memories plague dead stare in a million adults.” t’s a wonder whattheir powers 25heads years‘paof gle in ‘a world cast in frost,’ hung glance),” he says. their ears like flies?’ he asks.

Malhotra encourages Herein, Ithem think,to liesexperiment a hint. can endow you with. tient blouse-cutting as the horizons.’

It surprised us, howManpro- ‘They Manyshake of these were, in with her original theircelebrity heads.’ blouses For designs.

Nevertheless, there That may help explain why deish Jolly, whoseoccupied family business lifically horses our specialisliterary fact, created at tailor Sanjay bhai’s workwhilefirst each summer has stolen will always be the request to replicate somespite centuries of domestication, In their gallop around es in stitching blouses, believes landscape.

Imbued,only almost always, withhea shop Santastarting-gates, Cruz. He enjoysthe the reputation away in‘the thing from a film.

In her experience, alfor field and carriage,there’s for 440the gated track, there can create the garment taking of sensenow of wildness.

Even Edwin without Muir’s working tailoring for nearly every actress in Bollycrowd and cries,’ it has left them ways a clamour to own a Sabyasachi lookalike. yard races, horses still remain is the feeling they any measurements.

“I can at ainwoman horses, whose ‘hooves like look pistons an an- wood today. Sanjay bhai mayThe have lost count the ‘unmolesting meadows’. are also of one of the toughest symbols freedom.

Because, to might never“His halt.blouses In and out thefallowed size. Sab nazarare ki ‘glowing baat hai of cientfigure mill’ turned fields, the number of years been inthe thejump busi-over poem transforms into he’s a reflecmake.

You need take tiny of inexplicacloth and ourtothrill, theypieces are also the bar (it’s to observation skills),” from ness, withdown mysterious fire,’ their eyes he ‘assays brilliant butthe he clearly tion on passageremembers of time, a put them together, which why bly untameable.

Even inistheir is the constant his in Kemps Corner. At his workshop, ju- that andshop as wide as night.’ his of first assignments scrutiny life,few its maturity and it takes longer make,” shetrack, says. gallop aroundtothe gated danger of the fall nior helpmy stitch the offered blouses,‘Horse but theLatiau- were At tailors the pub, friend for Larkin) actresses like ‘They/ Mee(hey, it’s death.

One is of the Jolly’s strongest there feeling they selling might thority the material lies only obviously, with him. nakshi tudes’ to bycutThe Doors. Which, Seshadri andnames, Shilpa and ShiHave slipped their points is that Sabyasachi never halt.

In the jump overMukthe He guarantees that Morrison his clothesimpersonation, don’t need fur- rodkar, prompted a Jim whichand makes him so a What Sabyasachi sells herjee stand at ease’ eventually, farms out a lot of tailoring bar is the constant danger of the ther oncemost he’s done withlocal them.cider. veteran ably alteration aided by the excellent the field. The Ram-Leemust weinall. work towild him.

He admits fall. The rearing.

The that for ₹15,000 in his Customers flock to his ‘When the stillwho sea conspires an workshop armor,’ weare re- la Given cholis the are literary among evidence, his mostclearly somewhen he refusal. gets a bulk assignment sudden Glimpsed in a store, I can give you stubborn usually withcorner, a snapshot a Bollywood cited in armed our happy ‘And of her sullen and popular creations.

“I make what- Whyfor thing there is about a horse. are₹2,100. we And the designer, he makes a fielditthey miraculous.

Their acknowledgeis arefrom actress a filmbreed or redtiny carpet event. Jolly, abortedfrom currents monsters, true ever thetocostume designereven cre- when moved such eloquence, blouse the unused ment of you is a gift.from Nothing less. Or material as James thethey’re exact same thing like most blouse tailors, has learnt to quickly ates sailing is dead.’ formooching a particular character. merely about in fields, munching Wright calls itand sells it cheaper.

In fact,two he has ‘A Blessing.’

In his poem, pomaster theknow style what that isit’s trending.

“Do you about?” He watches They take aPerhaps lot of inputs from on grass? because weme read Black Beau- nies come out the consent.

“What Saofdesigner’s the willows, ‘bow[ing] shyly every Bollywood flick to get a heads-up on too.

I didn’t.

I feel Sewell’s happy when I seesentimental their ty, Anne sweetly Victor- as wet swans.’byasachi ₹15,000 in his There is sells muchfor tenderness here; what could nextforced catchtothe fancythe of on-board his clien- copies “A ship at sea jettison in narrated the market the ian novel fromafter the perspective of the one nuzzles his store, can give for ₹2,100. leftI hand, andyou a ‘light breeze tele.

“The last filmitsI load.” saw was ABCD (Any Body film horses to lighten says. Carroll Amongst his most titularreleases,” horse. Or he watched Ballard’s film And it is the exact same thing,” he says. Given moves [him] to caress her long ear/That is delCan Dance).

Butfor nobody wore a blouse in ripped-off I swiftly called another drink. areFarley’s Vidya Balan’s from Pari- that adaptationblouses of Walter The Black Stallion, to Mukherjee’s secret cuts, icate he’s as theprivy skin over a girl’s wrist.’

It ends witha that,” he informs.

“While we’re on the subject of disturbing neeta, Sen’s from an item number in bulk about Sushmita the friendship between a shipwrecked of Jolly’s assignments involve replicating an image of explosive beauty and untrampled The latest fad, he says, are backless cholis Fiza, horse poem-songs, there’s Patti Smith’s Sonali Bendre’s in Sarfarosh and Madhuri those boy and horse. designs. While he knows this makes him happiness: with three-quarter sleeves, a la Deepika Padu- Dixit’s ‘Land’…” in Devdas.

Aren’t they most beautiful of our fellow a favourite a lot of South Mumbai womSuddenly with I realise kone in suddenly Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela.

When Johnny gets the feeling he’s“She be- creatures?

Pali Hill resident Malhotraand haspoise, been en,That Imbued Sunila with strength, he ifalso sounds exasperated.

“Abhi I stepped outaoftad my body I would break wore three different cutshorses, of blouses that designing ing surrounded by/horses, horses,in horses/ herJoey owninblouses a while now. and patience.

Michaelfor Morpurgo’s War main gaya hoon. Sabyasachi ka copy karte Intothak blossom. film.

I can copy all of them. Jaise computer main She coming in all directions/white shining silver studs playing necklines Horseenjoys says, “This onewith isn’t different just any old horse. karte Sabyasachi hoon (I Formain that aadha one moment weban all gaya inhabit the file hota inhai, ek baar blouse dekhne ke and withcopy their nose flames cuts.

As compliments began coming her am There’s a nobility in his eye, a regal serenity up… I’ve become half-Sabyasachi samefed universe. baad mere dimaag main copy ho way, Thisuska epicdesign nine-minute composition tells the quit herhemaths teacher job at amen city now),” he rues. aboutshe him.

Does not personify all that jaata jaia(like a computer copying a file,(posmy college story of boy who is physically attacked and turned blouse de- janice pariat is the author of Seahorse try to be and never professional can be? I tell you, my chaudhuri t@janicepariat mind can register blouse design with a sin- signer. sibly raped), and athe subsequent surrealist up an list, mohini friend, Having there’s built divinity in extensive a horse…client We don’t

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What women want

Stories forever

In Saul Bellow’s centennial year, celebrations have been disappointingly low-key in India. But he remains relevant for his writer’s voice and the contemporariness of his language attacked him throughout his life, and have done so posthumously, for his less-than-generous depictions of women or black Americans (a view that, informed readers will tell you, is utterly unfounded).

In Mr Sammler’s Planet, Dr Lal is a character on an equal footing with the novel’s Bellowian, dreamy and intelligent protagonist. Artur Sammler is a Polish Jew, a holocaust survivor, living in the New York of the ’70s. He is also a man composed of oldworld prejudices and is a self-avowed ‘Orientalist.’ But after meeting Dr Lal, and reading his manuscript on colonising the moon, called The Future of the Moon, Sammler is all admiration for the ‘Hindu scientist.’ “Lal was the real thing,” Bellow writes. “This was no charlatan, only an oddity. He was excellent, solid.”

Here’s a rough blueprint of every Bellow novel ever written: you take an oddity (usually a wise intellectual, a variant of the author’s autobiographical portrait), and place him at the centre; you then surround him with charlatans (those money-minded, streetwise, manipulative others). To label Dr Lal an oddity — and if the link is authentic, to see Ramanujan as one — was an act of writerly generosity on Bellow’s part. He saw something of himself in his Indian friend, and gave something of himself to this composite Indian character he so sympathetically painted in his novel.

Bellow, to be sure, was a product of his time.

Deep bonds Bellow may have fallen out of favour with the average Indian reader, but his own interest in In the post-war era, the world hadn’t quite Indian history, philosophy and culture did, in fact, run deep ap opened up. The major cultural transaction was between Europe and America. And Bellow ell me an interesting Indian sto- place in a Bellow novel. The following sounds combined in his novels the high seriousness ry.” American novelist and No- like Bellow but is actually from Ramanujan’s of European thought with the joie de vivre bel laureate Saul Bellow poem, ‘Anxiety’: The earth has bone for muscle/ that was typical of the American experience addressed these words to writ- And the air is a flock of invisible pigeons. And back then. But now, in this day and age, the er UR Ananthamurthy, many years ago, when whereas this poetic image reminds one of Ra- question of relevance arises for the contempoboth were at the Chicago residence of the poet manujan, it comes from Bellow’s novel Seize rary reader. To what extent is Saul Bellow releAK Ramanujan. Such moments are sparse in the Day: “Everyone was like the faces on a play- vant to our experience? the oral history of literary gossip. It’s one of ing card, upside down either way.”

Perhaps it is the wrong question to ask. Litthose convergences of great rarity — like cerThe rhythmic similarities of their language erature is not a hostage to topicality. (As Ezra tain planetary alignments — that forces us to aside — they strove in their writPound said, “Literature is news ascribe deeper meaning to it. ings to echo closely the melothat stays news.”) But still let us atThere’s clearly more going on here, we tell dious cadences of speech — the tempt to answer it. Bellow’s releourselves, than a gettogether arranged by a two sensibilities at play here vance, at least for this reader, lies Bellow combined in few Chicago University boffins. When Anan- were very much alike. Both the in the writer’s voice, in the conhis novels the high thamurthy relates to Bellow one of Vaikom writers were nakedly autobiotemporariness of his language. seriousness of Muhammad Basheer’s tales — ‘an interesting graphical and both enjoyed It’s a voice that makes you sit up, European thought Indian story’ — we view this less as an instance mixing a certain grandiloleave whatever you are doing, and with the joie de vivre listen. He spoke not to a generaof one writer humouring the other than as a quence of style — words like ‘huthat was typical of meeting of minds and not least a lucky con- man’, ‘self’, ‘species’, ‘heart’ — tion or a country when he wrote the American fluence of cultures. with downright mundane conin Herzog, “I go after reality with Over the years, Bellow may have fallen out cerns. I am reminded of Rama- experience back then language. Perhaps I’d like to of favour with the average Indian reader, but nujan calling a bulb ‘a cousin of change it all into language...” his own interest in Indian history, philosophy the Vedic sun’; and of Bellow’s Bellow’s reality — foolish inteland culture did, in fact, run deep. Behind it lay Artur Sammler, the one-eyed lectuals, urban conmen, adultery, his admiration for Ramanujan, a feeling that protagonist of Mr Sammler’s disease, breakdown and death — later matured into friendship.

Planet, comparing the moon — ‘A white cor- is all around us, and it travels across genera“I am the hyphen in Indo-American”: with roded pearl’ — to his eyeball. tional and geographical bounds. The celebrathis self-definition, Ramanujan bridged the diThe literary link between Bellow and Rama- tions of the Bellow centennial this year have vide between the two cultures he identified as nujan was actually established by another In- been disappointingly low-key, and there’s his own. But his expertise of the western can- dian poet, Adil Jussawalla, who believed that barely been a mention here in India. But peron — Shakespeare, Whitman, Yeats and Eliot — an Indian character in Mr Sammler’s Planet, haps the occasion will allow some of us to reviwas what at first drew Bellow towards him. named Dr V Govinda Lal, ‘is based at least a lit- sit the universal reality Bellow tried to weave Bellow, by his own admission, was ‘aston- tle on’ Ramanujan. through his language — a reality he imparted ished’ at Ramanujan’s understanding of the Back in the day, it was consensus that only to us through some of the most interesting British and American poets. “He really gets in- the star-crossed and the damned ended up as American stories, which of course were his side these poets,” said Bellow.

Bellow characters. The novelist was notorious stories, but also ours.

I sometimes think that there are sentences for settling scores through his fictional porin Ramanujan’s poems that won’t seem out of trayals — of ex-wives, of former friends. Critics vineet gill is a journalist with The Sunday Guardian

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Few relationships stand the test of time like the one between a woman who wears a sari and the tailor who makes her blouse. The person who creates the perfect fitted blouse is guarded like treasure, his number shared with only the best of friends. But like you kiss many frogs until you find your prince, you must wear many unflattering blouses before you find the right pair of hands for that one-metre magic.

Meet some of India’s coolest ladies tailors

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Ladies’ tailors

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further inland to the Gullfoss waterfall, which turned out to be more or less frozen solid, except for the occasional mesmerising flow of sluggish water, so cold it seemed thick. Luckily, I spotted a geyser nearby — not the contraption that heats water at home, but a natural boiling ejaculation siphoning into the sky. Indeed, its location is, interestingly, called Geysir, which perhaps explains the origin of that universal word.

There’s a local story about a Viking showing the geyser to a priest. The impressed Christian exclaimed: “Oh my God!” The Viking quipped: “No, it’s the devil cooking.”

Later in Reykjavik I found geothermal baths where volcanic water is tempered down into separate plunge pools with fixed temper(37°C-46°C), where one canfrom swim Shubhangini Singh, who runs a design studio at Shahpuratures Jat in New Delhi, gets and her best blouse tailors the small towns of Uttar Pradesh ramesh sharma outdoors round the year. When it got too hot, I just stood up for three seconds in the icy air, until my chest hairs turned into icicles and basic blouse at Eve’s comes for ₹400, while the dle difficult there are plenty) then jumpedclients down(of forwhich another boil. most elaborate ones can cost you more than a and find good tailors to retain our place in the Meanwhile, the Icelanders were casually designer lehenga or sari. top bracket,” he layers says. day by day, eventually peeling off the “There are days when we don’t have the walking The hunt for a good tailorand is what makes or around in shorts t-shirts.

I entime to break for tea or answer calls from breaks in stitching, designquired your howcareer they survived andagrees one replied: home,” says the mild-mannered proprietor as er Shubhangini Singh, graduate who “Winter officially endsaninNIFT April, so since it he pins up the ‘Aishwarya Rai blouse’ on a runs a studio in Shahpur Jat, don’t southhave Delhi.a doesn’t get much hotter we mannequin. Curiously this blouse, also not for Singh’s benchmark a goodclothes.” tailor was set choice but to dress infor summer sale, has images of Amitabh Bachchan more than 15 years in Jaipur, whenwonders, she first Other than the ago many geological (not son, Abhishek) all over it. This accompanied mother to a shop in theTravOld Iceland is also her known for superb seafood. is certainly not the first face City.

“Parmanandji is stillthe in business and hunel magazines rave about lobster soups and on a Gogiya blouse. Naren- dreds of in women my mother’s generashellfish fancy from Reykjavik restaurants such dra Modi was the first tion won’t wear a blouse stitched any as Grillmarkaðurinn, Sjávargrillað andby Fiskféman to adorn a silk other,” says Singh as she dishes supervises herup team lagið, locally influenced rustled by blouse lastother year,here be- at tectonic plates grind away at each work. chefs, She also remembers the finesse of the five-star a heritage trend that’s bloomed fore he was elected Rajputi at the speed of 5mm per year. (a four-part costume: after theposhak 2008 financial meltdown, as lehenga, importPrime Minister.

Vi- kurti, This dramatic landscape of cliffs and lava odhni kachli) hand-stitched byIcelanwomed food gotand prohibitively expensive for rat Kohli was930 next, fields was chosen by the Vikings in AD as en from the villages around herdown hometown. ders.

(Even McDonald’s shut here, as a blouse fittingly the setting of their annualinassembly, making people Her best tailorsafford — Rajinder Kumar, Devender couldn’t the burgers.) after Kumar Iceland the country withnamed the oldest parliaand Rakesh Kumar — are from However, the most exoticSharma food that I tracked Anushka Sharma. ment in the world. (Nowadays, though, the small in Uttar Pradesh. down towns was probably inventedAll bythree somewere deThe ‘only for dis- employed parliament meets in a building in Reykjavik in export houses, stitching garmented Viking chef — the traditional hákarl or play’ are blouses are ments and only special ceremonies held outfor brandsshark like Mango, and Benerotten Greenland sold in Zara the flea market doors at Thingvellir.) what Gogiya does to tton. The switch to IndianIt’s ‘bridal and occasion Kolaportið. essentially shark takeas the his The Althing was where, wear’ wasn’t but Singh’s dug down intoeasy, the ground and mind off name rightly suggests, all things firm belief paid off.puallowed to in rotgenetics until it is fully the workload. were settled, usually by chopHeredity, with trefied and coupled then hung topassion dry for It’s essentially shark cliping off the Inspiration offender’s for body for perfect fit, isapparently what brings halfthe a year, which is dug down into the ent aredesigns often parts. There no visible reSalim, 43,way to Delhi everyitweek.

A the only to render edible Eighteen years later, ground and allowed comes theparliament, big screen (Kamains from of the not Gogiya doesn’t regret resident of it’s Moradabad in neigh(otherwise so poisonous it’d to rot until it is fully reena Kapoor’s even blood stains, as tomato-red the Vikings bouring UP, he is one of the hunkill the eater).

The worst part is that he didn’t putrefied Chammak chhallostructures blouse in built temporary of dreds of tailors Delhi’s really the smell —whom like the miscomplete college like Ra.One a rage), though turf or was stayed in tents, but ifGogiyou sari-crazy womena swear Sasing link between brokenby. down his elder brother ya respect the go shows with ascant guide s/he’llfor bring lim’s at least two urinal,calendar zombie has morning breath costume in Indian soaps. things alive for you.

Mine spoke visits to the Capital every It and ripe Danish cheese — week. but the Being a blouse eloquently about designer the manywas misconceptions flavour is surprisingly takes himokay. at least four hours by not exactly Gogiya wanted people havewhat about Vikings: no, they never train todish reach Newof was Delhi.

He The other national I heard someas a careerand when he first camethey to Eve’s it knows plundered pillaged; instead were—the and route by heart, thing I every didn’tbus want to metro try — hrútspungar.

Alstarted from a small roomtrade, in thediscoverers same market founders of international of thanks clients in every corner of Delhi NCR. thoughto the name sounds delicious, it more than 30 years a college fresher.

America, Africa, Asiaago and—soason, and their legal translates Salim prides on hisgoat ability to copy design. as pickled testicles.

Thea Vikings Father a tailorto from and system Santosh, was — according him Dehradun — way ahead of And he doesn’t to pull measuring probably loved need to snack onthe hrútspungar, the founder of Eve’s, wanted the younger son tape modern legislation. a client if she is hesitant.

“I can but…around Seriously, at that point I felt there are to Today handleIcelandic accountspop for asinger while.Bjork Eighteen ownsyears one get the measurement any sample be it certain lines even an from eccentric travel — writer later, doesn’t regret he didn’t com-a ashouldn’t of theGogiya few cottages in thethat national park, kurta, shirt or another blouse,” he says. A cross. plete elder brother, works week 2BHKcollege of 1,000like sq fthis overlooking Lakewho Þingvallatonew 10 days is what he takes to deliver the (This monthly column combines the two at a leading channel.put He,up however, is unvatn, whichsports she recently for sale for finished which comes best thingsproduct, in life — food and travel)for a modest sure he would his four-year-old sonyou to price of ₹300 for a no-frills blouse. aboutif ₹1.4 crore like — pretty cheap in case continue the business.

“I grew to love my job, zac o’yeah is a Bengaluru-based author, travel writer wish to freeze like a superstar. sengupta and literary critic butSuper-freezing it is a challenge to my keep reinventing, han- aditi isn’t show so I ventured

TUMMY TRAVELS

Something’s fishy Game for rotten shark or pickled testicles? The devil must be in the Icelandic kitchen

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rom the plane, I glimpsed glaciers.

Then, here and there, a geyser threw up plumes of hot steam out of the dark lava. It felt like being an astroVineet Gogiya, proprietor and head designer of Eve’s — south nautDelhi’s about to land on a weird planet. favourite blouse showroom, meets clients only by appointment during the my visit to Iceland, which lived Thus began busy festive and wedding season ramesh sharma up to its name by being astonishingly cold — even though it was April, it didn’t feel warmer Delhi than -25°C. Locals assured me the temperature was above zero and even claimed that peak summerwarovski heat waves might hit record highs of crystals, flowers 13°C, though that’d be in July and I wasn’t gopink, fabric as whatever the truth, ing to beinaround.

Anyway, softwinds as ‘rose the Arctic thatpetals’ swept—through ReykjaVineet Gogiya, 37, looks completely vik, which is apparently the world’s northernenamoured histemperatures creation, a feel blouse that most capital, of made so much could anyall, bride back and by atthe least ₹40,000. lower. set After Iceland North Pole Except, thisfar one is not for sale. It is Gogiya’s laaren’t that apart. bour of love, gift for his wife of seven I turned thea hotel room heating up toyears. sauna Proprietor andbefore head going designer of so Eve’s — levels, especially to bed, as to south Delhi’s favourite blouse showroom in avoid waking up a snowman.

(The volcanic Greater Kailash — top Gogiya and 32-year-old room heating was class.)

I’dhis wake up each ‘master’ from Lucknow, Mohammed morning,tailor completely dehydrated and gulp Javed, and shimmer to Ithe Capidown add lots sparkle of water.

Subsequently, stepped tal’s weddings with their famed creations.

A out into tiny Reykjavik (they say in Reykjavik team of 24knows tailorseverybody) gives shape client deeverybody andtofelt all that mands at a workshop in Kalkaji, minwater inside me turning into ice about cubes.10 I could utes from air-conditioned showroom. tell by thethe constant rattling from within The my footfall during peak season (Dussehra, Diwali frozen ribcage. and, course, weddings) is anywhere beTheofobject of my journey, the Viking parliatween 100 and 150 a day.

To containlies the inland, pandement or the Althing at Thingvellir, monium that with festivals, Gogiya some 45km eastcomes of Reykjavik, and is a Unesco meets onlySite. by appointment during the World clients Heritage Essentially it’s a large busiest Each client, old or field in amonths. rift valley created by whether the continental new, pieces and at one go. The drift can agesorder ago —only the five European American zac o’yeah

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All the world’s a stage The price is right LIGHTHOUSE

Award-winning actress Priyanka Bose travels to London and New York with Nirbhaya, Yaël Farber’s written the brutalresources Delhi gang rape the winter of 2012 The most play efficient wayafter of allocating is to letinthings find their own equilibrium, their own prices London Naiima (my daughter) and I steal a moment together before rehearsals

Mumbai A day before the tour kicks off, it’s time to collect my new costume

The barometer Uber usesAnother dynamicmother-daughter ‘Us forever’ pricing, an from efficient moment, away the madness of work way of arriving at an appropriate price for their service based on demand and supply reuters/

Back on my feet The show must go on, and it did! sinbad phgura

C’est la vie In the hospital with co-star Poorna Jagannathan, after a meniscus tear

Stories untold Women power takes the centrestage

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Amit Varma is a novelist.

He blogs at indiauncut.com

few days ago, I got ready for a meeting, switched on my Uber app, saw that there were no taxis available in my area, and remembered an earthquake.

More than two decades ago, when I was in college in Pune, an earthquake ravaged Latur. I and some friends got together to collect money for relief efforts. We decided to go to the affected areas ourselves to figure out the most Between the lines Somewhere, in the efficient to useathe money.

We hitched a sinbad phgura middle ofway rehearsals, portrait ride in an ambulance of paramedics headed there with medical supplies. In the affected district, we stopped at a village where around half the houses had been destroyed, and only one grocery store had survived. “This is the only place one can buy groceries from,” a resident complained bitterly, “and they have tripled their prices.” That made me very angry.

“Exploitative bastards,” I thought to myself, “feeding off the misery of others.”

Today, I know that my reaction was misplaced — just like the complaints of everyone who has taken issue with Uber’s dynamic pricing. In case you missed the controversy, cabs and autos in Mumbai recently went on strike to protest the competition they got from the likes of Uber and Ola. Since people had to get daythe in the UK short-term At Doncaster.beneficiaries A picnic toLast work, ironic of andwere much-needed this the very relaxation parties they were protesting against. So when demand for a particular product or service goes up and supply can’t keep pace, what happens? That’s right, the prices go up, and Uber uses a mechanism called dynamic pricing, which is an incredibly efficient way of arriving at an appropriate price based on demand and supply.

So commuters who switched on Uber apps in the morning were informed that the base price had gone up by as much as five times.

Naturally, there was outrage, and Uber, rattled by the bad press, announced that they would suspend dynamic pricing for the duration of

the strike, and operate at their usual base fare. authors on their DP platform, but authors on They put this into effect, and I woke up the my Facebook timeline have already reacted next day, switched on my app, and found that with horror. Their instinctive aversion to the idea is understandable: commoditisation of no Uber cab was available.

When demand goes up relative to supply, art and all that. But their fears are overblown. I two things can happen. The price can go up to think this development, like almost everyreflect the growth in demand; or, if the price is thing Amazon has done with regard to books, fixed, there is inevitably a shortage of the is visionary and good for authors.

Look, there isn’t, and shouldn’t be, a central product or service in question. In Uber’s case, with their dynamic pricing disabled, all their politburo that decides how much authors get One for all, all for one Team Nirbhaya after curtain call cars quickly got booked, and whichever cus- paid according to some high-falutin notions tomers switched on their apps later found of literary merit. Authors get paid, quite simply, based on copies sold, and there were no cars available. how many people want to read Their need could have been urthem. Literary authors accept gent: they may have needed to that they will not make remoterush to the airport to catch a There isn’t, and ly as much as those who write flight they couldn’t afford to shouldn’t be, a airport potboilers. That’s just miss; or take an ageing relative to central politburo that fine, because if they’re good at hospital; or head to town for a decides how much what they do, they’ll find an aumake-or-break meeting. Even if authors get paid dience that appreciates their they were willing to pay more, according to some work anyway. too bad. high-falutin notions Amazon’s new system The most efficient way of alloof literary merit achieves the same end — paying cating resources is to let things writers according to the defind their own equilibrium, their mand for their writing — with own prices. Price controls are greater granularity. Good literafoolish and never work. And the demand for them is based on a sort of fantasy. ry writers will still make money — I devour evFixing the price of a product at a base price be- ery word Alice Munro or Anne Tyler write — low what the market would pay does not because their work is compelling. But if I get mean that everyone gets it at this price — it just bored with a writer after reading 10 pages of means that a lucky few get it and the others his work, I don’t see why he deserves any more don’t. The fundamental truth about the uni- of my money than for those 10 pages.

It’s somewhat silly for an author to have a verse is this: everything is scarce. You can’t wish this scarcity away by agitating or legisla- sense of entitlement, and believe that other people should pay him money even if he can’t ting against it. produce work they want to read. As silly, inpeaking of prices, another company that deed, as for a Uber user to feel entitled to the disrupted an industry, Amazon, has an- service at a lower price than others are willing nounced that it will pay authors on its Kindle to pay, at the expense, therefore, of the service direct publishing programme according to provider. Such arrogance is priceless. pages read, not units moved. This is an opt-in t@amitvarma programme, applying only to self-published

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Conspiracy theory Voices in favour of indigenous Aryanism run the risk of being tagged ‘Hindu nationalist’

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New York cast with director s The theentire glaucous Indus rushes, with and playwright Yaëlassiduity, Farber crazed through a deep

Ambarish Satwik is a Delhi-based vascular surgeon and writer

and narrow and craggy gorge out of Ladakh and up into the groin between Gilgit and Baltistan, it passes by five villages occupied by a strange kind of primitive people. The Brogpas are relicts of a lost protoRgvedic Indo-Aryan tribe, allegedly of Caucasoid racial stock; about 5,000 of them in the villages of Garkone, Hanu, Dha, Beema, Dartsigs. Living in unmiscegenated, purebred isolation for a few thousand years now.

In the village of Dha, we looked long and hard at the woman’s sniffer. According to Max Müller, a straight and narrow and long proboscis (that could almost give an account of itself) was important. The particularity of the Aryan nasal organ was reportedly one of the clinchers of theofAryan Invasion In the middle something The Theory. In the Rgveda, theturns word a-nasa (noseless), as applied afternoon dreamy and misty to the Dasyu, has been quoted by Max Müller (amongst others) to prove that the Dasyus were a flat-nosed people and therefore, by contrast the Aryans were straight-nosed.

On that peg was hung the weight of presumption of the conquest of Sapta-Sindhu by a straight-nosed alien people till Srinivas Iyengar, in 1914, pointed out that the word was actually ana-asa (those of incoherent speech).

The specimen of Brogpa snout in front of us was a fair to middling one, attached to a face that wasn’t exactly Nordic white. She wasn’t golden-haired (hiranyakeshin) by any measure but probably had polycystic ovaries as indicated by a noteworthy run of facial hair. And she wore a sheepskin tunic and a wonderfully resplendent headdress made out of large, luridly Central perk A picnic after a hard day’s orange work dried flowers. She looked like a protoRgvedic Frida Kahlo.

As I settled down later that night to narrate to my eight-year-old son the story of the Aryans, all I could come up with was a reduced account of the authorised history I had grown up on : In the beginning were the Indo-Europeans, originally a people in the Pontic steppe of South Russia. Some of them (the Indo-Iranians) branched off and settled down in Central Asia. Much later, one branch of the Indo-Iranians, the Indo-Aryans, migrated southeastwards into what is now Northern Pakistan and became the Vedic Aryans. They produced the various books of the Rgveda much before they came in contact with the other regions of India.

To the historians of India, the Aryan InvaOne more time Rehearsals again. sion/Immigration theory yet (AIT) is an axiomatic WithThe co-actress Pamela Sinha fact.

Invasionists and Immigrationists agree that it was, at any rate, a kind of demographic infiltration that led to the obliteration of the native culture and languages. Well, that is the potted version.

The only basis for this theory is a linguistic one and it is this: the languages of Northern India, Iran, Central Asia and Europe are cognate. This Indo-European language family is completely unconnected to other language families (Semito-Hamitic, Dravidian, Austric, Sino-Tibetan) and must have descended from a common ancestral language spoken by a group of people inhabiting a shared, delineat-

Kind attention, please A poster outside 49 Bleecker Street, Broadway-Lafayette

Costume drama The Brogpas of Ladakh, a community believed to be of pure Aryan descent nissar ahmad

ed geographical homeland from where the ria) revealed that the late Rgveda, the Avesta, daughter languages scattered all over India, the rulers of Mittani and the Kassites (of BabyIran, Central Asia and Europe. The homeland, lonia) shared a common culture with comobviously, must have been in some reasonably mon names and name elements that are not central place, possibly South Russia. The Indo- encountered in the early and middle Rgvedic Aryan languages spoken in India, therefore, books, forensically indicating that the early are not indigenous, but owe their existence to Rgvedic canon represented a period anterior languages brought in by Aryan to the period of development of this common invaders/immigrants. culture? And it gave rise to the ineluctable The AIT is a narrative of slow migration of a conclusion that the direction of the migration people from one habitable region to the next, of the various branches of the Indo-Iranians installing themselves for a while and, in the was East to West and out of the Vedic area? process, not merely assimilating into the local What if the archaeological investigations of population but altering them phenotypically, the Ghaggar Hakra riverbed and the satellite culturally, religiously. It was a migration, how- imagery of the course of the primeval river ever, that left absolutely no trace in any ar- conclusively showed that it had almost dried chaeological or ethnic or textual record or in up by the second millennium BCE, and that traditional memory. long before that it was a mighty river, possibly In the service of half-suppressed relativism the Saraswati, mightier than the Indus and in historiography we must ask that a large number of archaeoTwo to tango With friend Rishi Shah, an Look who’s here A photo with Eve Ensler ourselves how we know what we logical sites ofperformance the Harappan ciNY resident after the opening night think we know? Therefore, dear ties are actually located on the reader, let me ask you this: banks of this ghost river rather What if there were wellthan the Indus? What if this The Invasionists and founded linguistic arguments meant that the Vedic Aryans Immigrationists agree to prove that the locus of the that it was, at any rate, who lived on both banks of the protolanguage was close to the Saraswati in full flow (Rgveda a kind of demographic Vedic area and not somewhere VII.96.2) might have been ininfiltration that led to in South Russia? habitants of the region long bethe obliteration of the And that the Vedic dialect fore 1500 BCE and in fact may be native culture and with its three genders, three languages. Well, that is the indigenous Harappans? numbers, eight cases and 70 out Would all this evidence in fathe potted version of 72 basic cognate words might vour of indigenous Aryanism present the closest representabe allowed its rightful place in tion of the protolanguage? And the study of Indo-Aryan oriif there was rigid evidence in fagins? Or would it, in the circles vour of the idea that the Indus area was never of academe, be called a symptom of Hindu nanon Indo-European in speech; that there was tionalist discourse? And those questioning Photo lastReserved frame vik manchanda zone Best hot chocolate in NYC. in neverComfort a substrate of Dravidian languages the status quo finish of theOne AIT? for them At Union Square the North, that the oldest layers of Vedic litera- are some official phrases of disapprobation — ture contain no loan words from Dravidian ‘loonies’, ‘flat-earthers’, ‘Atlantists’, ‘function(not even hydronyms)? aries of the chaddiwallahs’, etc. On which side, And the evidence of the isoglosses (linguis- might I ask, lies the syndicate of partisans? Intic features that develop in a certain language digenous Aryanism is not a ‘nonsensical politiand then spreads to other languages and dia- cal theory’, not any more than the AIT. Is lects over a contiguous area) presented by the ‘adivasi’ a politically rigged word? great Hans Hock was found to be deliberately The Brogpas, primitive people of the pasbiased and selective and actually showed that tures, are adivasis under the law. They have the IE homeland simply couldn’t be situated folklore and songs that lament a lost homein a central area such as South Russia? land. Might one place that in Gilgit without What if the internal chronology of the early, being called a Hindu nationalist? middle and the late books of the Rgveda and asatwik@gmail.com the evidence in the Avesta and in Mittani (Sy-

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Weaving a web Tent caterpillars build web-like tents, which act as centrally located information sources ambika kamath

Who’s killing ’em all?

Posters demanding shutdown of telecom towers didn’t quite prepare Sopore for the killing of six residents in less than a month. Political parties and the police are engaged in a blame game while every family here wants to know the names of the culprits

Sopore’s dead May 25

Rafiq Akbar Haji, 23: The commerce graduate was killed when gunmen targeted his employer, a BSNL franchisee, in Sopore May 26

Ghulam Hassan Dar, 60: Shot down in Duroo area of Sopore. He had leased land to a telecom company to install a cellphone tower June 9

CREATURE FEATURE

A social network

Sheikh Altaf-urRehman, 46: A pharmacist, Rehman was killed when he was leaving the hospital after night shift. He was a member of the Hurriyat’s Geelani faction

Can sociality have only one definition? Tent caterpillars show us that they are also ‘truly June 13 social’ just like the ants and the bees

ambika kamath Life in the shadows Curfew was imposed in the Kashmir Valley on the first day of Ramzan, so as to prevent separatists from taking to the streets to protest the Sopore killings dar yasin/ ap; (right) a poster demanding the shutdown of telecom towers special arrangement

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sually, when I receive a reminder that my column is due in a week or so, I’ve been considering its subject for days. This month when the reminder arrived, I hadn’t even picked a creature.une Cue14.anIteight-km walkmorning throughand a nearby was Sunday Mehforest and frantic through good months of raj-ud-din Darsorting was expecting businature an shop, idea would nessphotos, at hishoping poultry barelystrike.

500 When I finally decided to write about tent cametres from one of Sopore’s massive Army terpillars, myWithin enthusiasm forofthese animals installations. minutes his arrival at was best.

But in justDar, a week, tent caterthe tepid shop, at the 38-year-old a former JKLF pillars have rapidly climbed myunidentified estimation, militant, was gunned downinby becoming one mygirls, favourite insects. men. Father ofof two Dar was the fifth of caterpillars’ first fame isintheir sixTent residents to die in lessclaim than to a month this group A fuzzy, brown and restiveliving. town in northunassuming, Kashmir. white moth,shunned the mother tent caterpillar “Mehraj militancy some 15 lays yearsa clutch of was eggsliving together, as moths to ago, and in peace withare hiswont family. do. unusually, the caterpillars emerge ThisBut is how innocents are being that slaughtered from eggs stay close after They here,”these said Bashir Ahmad, Dar’shatching. neighbour. build web-like tents together, synchronously Known to harbour pro-freedom and anti-Inspinning sheetsSopore of silk.has They make foraging dia sentiments, been a hotbed of trips together from Police these reports centrally militancy since 1990. saylocated that altents, leavingmilitant a silk-and-chemical most every organisationtrail hasbehind memthem.

And this if a caterpillar finds a particularly bers from town. Sopore is also the town bountiful of young feed on, it that thricepatch elected Syed Alileaves Shahto Geelani, the strengthens the chemical trailleader on itsin way most controversial separatist theback Valto allowing its has siblings follow the ley,the as tent, its MLA. Sopore nevertobeen away trail thisheadlines greenest of fromtothe forpastures. too long thanks to The incidents tent thus of acts as an information centre many violence and unrest. The refor parentless caterpillar And the centthis attacks came within daysfamily. of Lashkar-e-Isbenefits of siblinghood don’t stop here.

The lam — a hitherto unknown ‘militant’ outfit — group of warning caterpillars thrashes and bitestosimulpublicly telecom companies wind taneously, deterring predators up operations in Sopore.

‘Closefrom downattacking the towthem.

Theyaction’, huddleits together the patchy suners or face postersinsaid.

The motive light the North American springtime, enwas toofdisrupt normal life in the Valley. abling tentkilling caterpillars reach On Maythe 25, the orgy begantowith the temperatures that ideal for growing quickgunning down of are Rafiq Ahmad Haji. The 23ly; temperatures thatgraduate a single caterpillar can’t year-old commerce was employed attain on itsfranchise own. There is no question Gunthat with a BSNL owner in Kupwara. tent benefit alongside mencaterpillars stormed the outletfrom and living sprayed bullets, their brothers andinjuring sisters. two others. Haji’s killing Haji and Yet insect biologists have been curiously redreams of pursuing higher studies in Indore

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Khursheed Ahmad Bhat, 35: A shopkeeper, Bhat describe was returning home whenashesomething was luctant to call tent caterpillars “social.” This is rawi this condition shot‘everybody dead at Bomai village because the definition of sociality that biolo- that knows’, but their knowledge June 14 gists agreed upon somehow became centred came to the attention of scientists only in Mehraj-ud-din Dar, 38: Resident of on parents and offspring living together and 2013.

I think the scientific establishment, to Badambagh in Sopore Dar this was episode shot dividing up familial tasks. This restrictive defi- which I belong, comes town, out from dead atrather the poultry nition forced died with him. tent caterpillars far from the looking silly. Ifshop we’doutside stoppedhis to house ask the limelight, lesserwas categories like Ghulam “pre-so- people The nextinto casualty 60-year-old June 15we share the world with what they cial,” denying thatneighbouring the tent caterpillar’s take know Hassan Dar, from Duroo, who about Reshi, nature, their Aijaz Ahmad 35:and Shotconsidered dead at local on just as successful as that ofcomthe knowledge hadsociality recentlyisleased his land to a telecom seriously, we’d have known about diagnostic centre “truly social” bee. stormed his house caterpillar-induced abortions ages ago. pany. On Mayant 26, or militants biologists havefor persevered as But the some familyinsect was getting ready bed and I suspect that I struggled to focus on this in resisting this hierarchy, and the pumped at least a dozen bullets intonon-tradiGhulam. month’s piece because mytwo mind filled black-and-white posters of menwas — Abdul tionally social caterpillars have of become This killing wastent followed by a series attacksa with other things. live in the US at the moQayoom Najar and IImtiyaz Ahmad Kandoo — deserving of a were morealso reported and announced on mobileposter-child towers. Attacks ment, and the lastlakh feweach weeks a reward of ₹10 for inclusive view ofand sociality. from Srinagar Anantnag. Sensing more their capture.here have been tumultuous.

Tent the caterpillars’ second despatched a trouble, central government Ninein an African-Americans were Five days later, embarrassing developclaim tosenior fame was initially quite team of officials to take stock of the sit- ment, a shopkeeper gunned in down in a church Kupwara accusedby thea Non-traditionally mysterious.

About 10 years ago, joint secreta- police of using uation. Headed

by Rajit Punhani, manhis motivated hatred, picture by in racial the ‘wanted’ social tent hundreds ofinmares in horse ry (Kashmir) the home ministry, the team poster. Scared a cause forlife, deep mourning. few for his Irfan Ahmad AShah caterpillars have farms in the US aborted submitted a report, basedtheir on days later, thethe USimage Supreme claimed that wasCourt from become a posterfoetuses at J&K the same time forwas no which the government ruled legal a familysame-sex picnic at amarriage tourist park in child of a more readily After adviseddiscernible to beef reason. up security across the country, a cause last for neighbouring Baramulla inclusive view of some this loss was aroundsleuthing, telecom infrastructure. celebration.

Pondering forthese year. As compensation the sociality Rehman’s political traced to the horses having swalThe police lost face as it failed events, that regoof-up,I felt, the confusingly, police have advised affiliation ensured lowed large number ofprevent tent cato nabathe culprits and al change in how we indoors. humans Shah to be alert and stay widespread terpillars along with further killings.

“All mouthfuls these killtreat each other both possible Former chief is minister Omar condemnation of of leaves.

Because tentand caterpilings are interlinked we’ll and unlikely.

Abdullah as well as the Hurriyat his killingI imaginedhave lar outbreaks aren’t toopeople,” frequent, these aborsoon neutralise these thatlinked thinking caterthe about killingstent to Union tion epidemics been noticed before, pillars woulddefence Gareeb Dass, DIGhadn’t north Kashmir, distractminister me fromManohar these difficult Parriand was described as being topics, but I didn’t told the phenomenon media. expectrecent them to inspire me. kar’s fairly ‘neutralise ter-I new science.

OntoJune 9, Bomai resident Alnever thought thatthrough the stories of anremark, insect rorist terrorist’ But knowledge such interactions was could upturn taf-ur-Rehman, whoofwas a pharstubbornly persistent ideas, reviving memories of a pro-govanything Across the globe in the macist as but wellnovel. as a Hurriyat Conference (G) ideas as deep and wildly different as what we ernment militia called Ikhwan-ul-Muslimoon, Sahara camel herders known activist,Desert, fell to nomadic militant bullets as he was leav- think really means we worst think whichsociety was responsible for and somewho of the as havehospital known for centuries that is ingthe theSahrawi sub-district after night duty. responsible generating safeguardcases of humanfor rights abuse inand the early ’90s. pregnant camels will abort theirensured foetuseswideafter ingEvery Rehman’s political affiliation knowledge thewants natural world.the If family inabout Sopore to know eating a particular species of caterpillar, spread condemnation of his killing, with Gee- there room for in the tales a canameis behind therevolution mindless killings.

Theof police which appears large numbers the tops of terpillar, lani putting theinblame on ‘Indianon agencies’. people’s storiesrefuse will tospur say it’s thethen militants; the locals beacacia trees after heavy rains. This caterpillar change lieve thetoo.

‘Indian agencies’ have no role to play looks Egg onstrikingly the face similar to, and belongs to the in it. same family caterpillar that causes ambika kamath studies organismic evolutionary On June 16, as, a the daytent after unknown gunmen at Harvard University tawqeer hussain is a Delhi-based journalist horse Unlike scientists, killed abortions. the sixth man in the Sopore, policethe putSahup biology

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know scan

saturday, july 4, 4, 2015 saturday, july 2015

Top Rat The battle of village and forest rodents

I

am glad the truth is out. It has taken years but the sensible folks at National Centre for Biological Sciences (NCBS) have finally revealed who is Top Rat. I may live in kuccha houses and muddy cow sheds of villages, but I’m smarter than my cousin who dwells in the forests nearby. I, the village mouse, am Top Rat. I’ve even got top research to prove that. Whatever the forest rat can and can’t do, I can do better. The study says I travel faster and farther — ain’t no mountain high enough. Unlike my poor forestloving cousins, I am a wily thief, a convivial soul and have great genes. They say the secret to my superior intelligence lies in my contact with humans.

And I am not even a lab rat.

Leading man At Reverend Clementa Pinckney’s funeral in the Charleston church, Obama shed his cautious tone, getting emotionally involved with his rendition of ‘Amazing Grace’ reuters

Who’s your grand-daddy?

Nehru’s wiki page is in the eye of a storm

AGENDA

The President’s moments D

igital dreams recently went haywire for a bit. A few add-ons graced Jawaharlal Nehru’s wiki page that would have hardly pleased the former prime minister. His ancestry was rejigged and readers told his grandfather was Ghiasuddin Ghazi before he chose to be known as Gangadhar Nehru. If the regular page was grave enough to suit the man, the revisionists wanted some colour. Details of Nehru-Edwina “affair” hopped into the narrative. The Congress cried foul as a software tracked the changes to a merican exceptionalism’ is per- his critics were predicting. government address.

Wiki havehesince to find our IP best selves.”

Foreditors his efforts was endall doesn’t need more publicity.

Memberweek of started with the removed haps one of the Jenner most annoying, the revisions. The government, Obama’s blockbuster called Consoler-in-Chief. theconcepts Kardashian-Jenner the 19-year-old is already yet important in contem-clan, want some ruling “barriers” in informafavourable Supreme Courta ruling on his pet though, The might Supreme Court’s to legalise gay businesswoman, supermodel.

Now, sheis,isallowing state sub- tion porarysharp global politics. First author pro- and dissemination.

Affordable Care Act, that marriages across the US topped off the fantasalso the historian owner of the most photo on Instagram, pounded by the French Alexis de‘liked’ sidies to more than six pipmillion Americans to tic week for Obama. The long-promised, longping sister Kimopus to theDemocsecond spot. photo Republicans (with Tocqueville in his 1840 magnum buyWhile healthKim’s insurance. mounted a awaited progressive hero glowed brightly in mnoflikes) is an intimate portrait of her and Kanye racy in America, the2.4 idea exceptionalism po-family strong challenge to the subsidised healthcare the rainbow lights that lit up the White House West on the Most Important of their Lives, is aknown as Obama- after the ruling. sitioned the US as an inherently unique nation Dayprogramme — Kendall’s popularly photo-op, just five weeks, it on the planet: it playful was God’s chosencarefully country,casual. careBut — ininthe courts.

According to a Politico report, many saw the 2.6 mnand likes, for every heartbeat.had Howto deal with bloop- influence of Obama’s Hawaiian roots in the with the mandatehas to garnered bring freedom de-ie one His administration she world. do it? Was it the carefully coiffed heart hair? The mocracy to the restdid of the ers during the online rollout of the pro- success of his progressive agenda. Some 40 pose theinvaded lacy dress to beat Kim’s staged When Presidentfrontal George W and Bush gramme, which hitsmooch its popularity. At times, years ago the island had become the first state custom-made Or looked the velvety carIraq, his neocon and advisers used the Givenchy idea of number?

Obamacare like it was destined to fail. to require employers to provide health benepet? We’llto letgain Kim figure this one out.

American exceptionalism domestic But with this court judgment, it has become fits. US’s same-sex marriage movement had alsupport for the war. virtually impossible for the Act to be repealed so received a boost when the Hawaii Supreme This silly idea that God chose the US as the during the Obama presidency.

Court ruled in 1993 that denying gay people shining city on the hill, as the leader of the free After the policy victory on the right to marry was a violation world, is deeply embedded in millions of Obamacare, Obama showed of the state constitution. Growing American minds, textbooks and foreign poli- that he really cared in Charlesup with his grandparents in this cy. Republicans have often targeted President ton, South Carolina. The venue multi-ethnic, progressive state Into his last quarter Obama for not believing in American excep- was the Emanuel AME Church, (where the university football as president, Obama tionalism and therefore being unpatriotic. where a few days earlier nine team is called Rainbow Warriors) is nowhere close to President Obama, meanwhile, had set out African-Americans had been had left a deep impact on Presibecoming the lame to redefine his country’s exceptionalism. killed by a white gunman in a dent Obama’s worldview. duck his critics were Rather than pegging it to history, God or terri- racist attack. Far too often in his But in Obama’s recent winning predicting competitive world of professional torial expansionism, he had set outntothe position presidency, Obama hadtentipstreak one can also see traces of nis, Wimbledon stillaround stands out its grassyHis America as a global leader in progressive val- toed racefor relations. another sporting team, this one surfaces, all white dress codes andhad fussy decoues. His own election as the first African-Amerown black roots held him from his adopted hometown of rum.

This year tradition seems to have ican president was supposed to be the starting back from taking boldgone steps Chicago. At their best in the 1990s, for a toss.And Frenchagainst player Eugenie Bouchardwhich has point of this progressive exceptionalism. discrimination, the Michael Jordan-led Chicago already raised eyebrows her is black yet, for much of his presidency, he dithered. research in shows still innerwidespread in Ameri- Bulls were a fantastic fourth-quarter basketAnd it lookscan likesociety.

John McEnroe’s Electoral pragmatism overtookwear. his audacity He did notriotous want to be accused of ball team. In numerous games, just when ophas found its way back on court. In just of hope. In foreign policy, in raceghost relations, in helping his own. ponents thought— they the on the eat leads to expansion that’shad what theBulls physics one week, four players have foul the LGBT rights, climate change and healthcare, But at thefallen eulogy he of delivered at Reverend team would come back with aare stunteachermat, saidthe in school.

Dairy farmers in Kerala ‘audible obscenity’ rule. Liam Broady, Marinko Obama was unable or unwilling to push Clementa Pinckney’s funeral in the blaming Charles- heat ning fourth-quarter to steal (global warming, toperformance be more precise) for the Nick Kyrgios and Serena through the progressive agendaMatosevic, that he had ton church, ObamaWilliams shed his cautious match. the tone, contraction of their herds. Some, however, refuse haveofalready pulled up for swearing promised. After over 2,800 weeks a de- been getting emotionally involved with his theproblems Bulls of of thefodder 1990s,shortage. and with to rendibe dwarfedLike by the A no sweet nothings maybeGrace.’ even dirty tached, disappointing Obama presidency, the like tionf***, of s***, ‘Amazing The rhetorical flourmore elections the former senator team of researchers believesto thefight, breeding of two local scum.around Umpires ish have and frowned but we presence can’t last week of June 2015 changed things messianic of varieties 2008’s of heat-tolerant from Chicagocows maycan justreverse be preparing for a ripthe fortunes cussesObama are notwas nearly on at least three of those counts.help thinking these candidate back,aswhen he of remindroaring of his presidency.

Now, the farmers.

Thefourth Vechurquarter and the Kasaragod cows as SuperBrat McEnroe’s As a result, for the first time colourful in two years, ed a grieving nationoutbursts. “out of this terrible tragewould be a show to watch. have not justthat smaller bodies but also smaller appetites.

Expectedly, the McEnroe hasgrace comeupon to us, forAnd Obama’s approval rating has crossed 50 per dy, God (in hasflesh) visited He the hasability to beat the heat comes from a unique the players’ rescue from the cent. Into his last quarter as president, Obama allowed us commentary to see wherebox: we’ve been‘thermometer blind... sambuddha gene’. mitra mustafi is the founder of Letlame swearing is nowhere close to becoming the duckin Wimbledon!

He’s given us the chance where we’ve been lost The Political Indian tsome_buddha

With progressive triumphs on healthcare, race and LGBT rights, the last week of June was

Keeping up with Instagram one of the best in Obama’s six-and-a-half-year presidency Who is the owner of the most ‘liked’ photo and how did she do it? sambuddha mitra mustafi

‘A

K

Not a gentleman’s game

Swearing makes a comeback at Wimbledon

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Herd instinct

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Kerala farmers switch to heattolerant dwarf cows to beat climate change

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saturday, july 4, 2015

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in-faq by joy bhattacharjya

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uly 4 is the birthday of Welsh surveyor George Everest. It’s the perfect time for a quiz on mountains.

here,there & elsewhere

Tall facts

1

Coffin chic N

ow that he has a taxi licence Bins claims he must buy himself a car.

“It’s necessary to practise! I must build up confidence before I can be a cabbie here,” he says. “In India, we dodge the cows, run over the cyclists and bribe the police. Here? People dodge the police, get run over by cyclists and never see the cows.” He taps his forehead. “These Americans are crazy.”

Still, he has to admit he’s enjoying himself. Every day, he roams the streets, making friends with motorcycle gang members, homeless people and fellow pot-smokers. When the sun’s out, there are so many under-dressed teenage girls jiggling their way towards the beach that even Bins has grown jaded. “I don’t notice them any more,” he tells me, with a sigh.

“Sad!” We can’t afford a new car. But Bins scrounges money from a cousin in Canada and consults his friends on the street for good deals. This morning, he bursts in the front door, all excited. “Come out and see what I have bought for you!”

Whenever he buys something for himself — which is often, since he loves to order online — he pretends that it’s actually for me even though it never is. “Yeah, yeah,” I say, putting down my paint brush to go

cornerstone

outside.

“Ta-daaa!” says Bins. Standing in the middle of the parking lot is a monstrous vehicle, painted bright blue with white clouds. Written on the side in psychedelic lettering are the words “Cloud Nine Funeral Home.” It’s a hearse. “Isn’t it fabulous?” asks Bins. “So big! So chic! And practically free! Noone wanted it!” I say, “No surprise. It’s utterly grotesque. Take it back at once.”

Bins almost falls over with shock. “Are you joking? It’s the most beautiful car I have seen in my whole life.”

He spends the next half hour telling

me it’s the hearse of his dreams, he has always wanted one, that only the most bourgeois, marshmallow-brained, antiintellectual stick-in-the-mud would resist the charms of a sky-coloured coffinchariot ... I fold my arms and say, “NO WAY, EVER-NEVER-EVER am I riding around in a corpse-buggy!” Bins folds his arms too. “Oh-ho! Somebody’s feeling superstitious, is she? Somebody’s afraid of the ghosties sitting in the back of the car?” I fold my arms tighter.

“Don’t talk rubbish. You know I don’t believe in all that guff. Just take it back.”

But Bins has a crafty look on his face.

“I know how to change your mind,” he says. “Impossible,” I snort. “Well,” says Bins. “When I told Jiggs about the hearse, he was horrified. ‘Mrs Manju will say NO. She is a good, respectable Indian lady after all. She will say it is against our Indian customs, our Indian values, to sit in the same car that is used by dead people.’” Now Bins is grinning broadly. “So I will just say to him, he is right, huh? You’re deeply conservative, god-fearing and traditional?”

I sigh and clutch my head. “Alright, alright,” I say. We have a hearse. manjula padmanabhan, author and artist, writes of her life in the fictional town of Elsewhere, US, in this weekly column

Mount Huascaran in Peru is one of the two contenders for the point farthest from the centre of the earth as the planet bulges several miles at the equator. Which South American peak is the other contender?

2

Fiction. On which mountain range in Middle Earth did the wizard Gandalf fight an epic battle against a fearsome Balrog named Durin’s Bane. Hint. Think Led Zeppelin.

3

The Rosenlaui glacier, located to the south of Meiringen in the canton of Bern, is considered a national monument. However, its reputation as an international tourist attraction stems from its proximity to another site that was formed as a result of the glacier. Which is this site?

4 5

Who was the New Zealand High Commissioner to India between 1985 and 1989?

Which group of mountains, also known to the Greeks as the Caucasus Indicus, and later described in detail by the traveller Ibn Battuta, was believed to have been named after the slaves from the subcontinent who died while trying to cross them?

6 7

In mountaineering parlance, what are the Bass and Messner lists, and how do they differ?

This mountain is still considered the most dangerous in the world. Since its ascent in 1950 it has claimed the lives of 53 of the 130 who tried to climb it, putting the mortality rate at over 41 per cent. Identify the mountain.

8

Masherbrum is a 25,000-feet high peak in Gilgit Baltistan. It is known as the savage mountain, but is associated with another, betterknown mountain. By what name do we normally refer to Masherbrum?

9 10

In mountain lore, what is known as the ‘death zone?’

Which mountain were the Pandavas and Draupadi attempting to ascend to reach heaven? All except Yudhisthira failed to reach the summit.

Answers

1. Chimborazo in Ecuador 2. The Misty Mountains 3. The Reichenbach Falls, where Holmes and Moriarty battled in ‘The Final Problem’ 4. Sir Edmund Hillary, the first to ascend Mount Everest with Tenzing Norgay 5. The Hindu Kush mountains, literally meaning ‘Hindu killer’ in the local language 6. These are lists of the highest peaks in each continent. To scale all seven on a list is considered a huge achievement among climbers. The lists differ in the choice of peak in Australia/Oceania.

Richard Bass has Mount Kosciuszko in Australia, while Messner opted for the tougher Puncak Jaya in Indonesia 7. Annapurna, the 10th highest peak on the planet 8. Mount K1. K2 or Mount Godwin Austen, the second highest peak in the world is obviously much better known 9. The altitude above which the amount of oxygen is insufficient to sustain human life.

Normally, above 8,000 m 10. Mount Meru

joy bhattacharjya is a quiz master and Project Director, FIFA U-17 World Cup t@joybhattacharj

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