Blink issue 89 october10 2015

PIPE DREAM India’s ambitious river-linking project takes off with the Pattiseema scheme.

But is it an ill-conceived plan B? p2 saturday, october 10, 2015

The ’90s favourite rapper Baba Sehgal is back. His whacky tweets, trademark Hinglish lyrics and DIY iPhone videos on YouTube have brought in a new generation of fans p10

Digital Remix

HOME ABROAD Puerto Rico and India have much in common, yet they are worlds apart p8

AS YOU LIKE EAT The return of the Bohra thaal, sans spitty speakers and squinty aunts p19

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the fixed stars, the Moon, and the Sun.” Even when the cylinder was discarded for a sphere, “This system of a spherical Earth surrounded by concentric spheres of water, air, fire, and then the spheres of the heavenly bodies remained the basis for cosmology and physics for the next two millennia.” (Albert van Helden, Measuring the Universe).

As late as 1692, the famous astronomer Edmund Halley erroneously proposed that the Earth was “a hollow shell about 800 km (500 Krishna-Godavari link was conceived to bring miles) thick, two inner concentric shells and succour to the drought-prone Rayalaseema an innermost core, about the diameters of the districts,Venus, while bolstering water supplyAtmoto the planets Mars, and Mercury.

Krishna separate delta region and Prakasam district. spheres these shells, and each shell villagepoles. in West Godavari was hasPattiseema its own magnetic The spheres rotate originally to be the site for linking the at differentmeant speeds…” country’s second-longest river Great discoveries in astronomy were made (Godavari) its fourth-longest despite the fact that theseand models were utterly (Krishna). showwrong. Johannes KeplerHeavy foundmonsoon the laws of the ers, however, delayed and planetary even though he work believed Andhra Pradesh is orbits the government was forced to them on to be moving within transparent, crysfully dependent shift the These venuenested to Tadipudi.

It talline Platonic solids. solids, acdams in neighbouring now his appearsbook that the governcording to Mysterium Maharashtra and ment(1596), had been unduly hasty in Cosmographicum are the scaffold that Karnataka for the Pattiseema supports thepushing movement of the orbs, a link. need Chief Minister Chandrabawhich was laterFor dismissed by an understanding of gravity.bu Naidu, who pushed the PLIP at a frenetic pace, it system was a day of Similar models of the solar came mixedfrom feelings.

The twoand rivers were nowon linkdown the Greeks, were passed to ed, but the—much bigger Polavaram project is the Arabs who expanded and detailed this still a few years from completion.

Conceived worldview.

It is through Islamic writers, and decades ago,Kepler the multipurpose Polavaram not through — that the idea of solid project holding proposes transfer surplus spheres thetoorbits in place came water to InRainbows and pots... Work underway at the Pattiseema Lift Irrigation Project in West Godavari avg prasad from the Godavari to century the Krishna at Polavadia and appears in 17th Varanasi. ram, 960belonging MW of hydel and Twogenerating astronomers to power rival famn September 16, thousands gath- na to mark the successful culmination of a ilies, irrigating lakhto hectares of the who 11went war over thisdelta. theory, are ered at Ferry, a village on the banks project that was mooted decades ago.

In the meantime, Pattiseema, a small islet in mentioned in Kim Plofker’s Mathematics In Inof the Krishna river in IbrahimpatSince September 1, about 450 cusecs of wa- dia. the “The middle of thecosmological Godavari, is anotions scene ofaccepthectic Islamic nam mandal, near Vijayawada. ter has been pumped from the Tadipudi lift ir- ed activity.

A few of the family 24 pumps required for the

by Kamalakara’s or school included About 125 km away, in Tadipudi, West Godavari rigation scheme in West Godavari district into the PLIP,concept undertaken

by Megha“crystalline” Engineeringcelesand of transparent district, heavy-duty pumps sprang to life. Wa- the Polavaram right main canal.

Infrastructure have been installed. tial spheres forLtd the(MEIL), physical support and imBy September 15, after travelling nearly pulsion ter from the Godavari gushed against gravity Water was on a trial basisMunisvara’s to the Krishof released the orbiting bodies. into the Polavaram right main canal and en- 100km, the water arrived close to the Praka- side na basin through the Polavaram right canal. objected to this idea on the grounds that tered the Krishna about 18km from Vijayawa- sam barrage, near Vijayawada.

However, following a not breach in the enough canal a such a material could be strong As a lower riparian and agrarian state, And- for da. The Krishna and Godavari rivers were couple days later at the Thammileru aquethis of purpose.

If any such spheres existed, finally interlinked through the Pattiseema Lift hra Pradesh is fully dependent on flows from they duct,would water pumping to be givhave to behad made ofstopped, metal, conIrrigation Project (PLIP), and a pot of Godavari dams in neighbouring Maharashtra and Kar- forming ing opposition partiesIndian a stick to beat the to traditional descriptions of water was symbolically poured into the Krish- nataka, besides its own catchment areas. The the government with. blue sky as a round metal surface. This debate and related controversies were continued between Kamalakara’s brother and Munisvara’s cousin in two treatises entitled Loha-gola-khandana (“Smashing of the Iron Spheres”) and Loha-gola-samarthana (“Vindication of the Iron Spheres”).”

Unusual here was the discussion about the strength of this material, since aspects of physics are not found often in Indian astronomy. Physically speaking, it could even be pondered whether such a large sphere would not Too big for the palm Emperor Jahangir is shown holding a globe in this Mughal-era painting. The globe is believed to have been made by metallurgist Muhammad Salih Tahtawi wikipedia collapse under its own gravity and become a planet itself.

The mystery of the spheres began to finally n the largest painting to have emerged garded as technically impossible”. clear when astronomers such as Christoph from the Mughal period, emperor JahanThe purpose of these globes was to create a Rothmann and Tycho Brahe studied comets gir (the name means ‘world-seizer’) is map of the night sky as it apthat came from outside the solar seen holding a globe in his right palm. It peared to observers on Earth. system. The comet of 1585, obis believed that this globe was constructed by Since the planets moved gently served Rothmann — was beyond the metallurgist Muhammad Salih Tahtawi. through the sky, but the stars reSaturn and there was no refracGreat discoveries in He was famed for the impossible feat of con- mained fixed in their positions tion by any intervening material. astronomy were structing seamless hollow spheres, leaving no every night — it was thought for The comets were travelling to the a long time that they were at- made despite the fact Sun completely unhindered by tell-tale cavity or crease from its making. that these models Seventeenth century astrolabe makers in tached to something solid — like any invisible spheres, right were utterly wrong Lahore appear to have excelled in this method, jewels inside a giant hollow through the planetary orbits — as called the ‘cire perdue’ (lost wax), a technique sphere. “And we have adorned if nothing at all existed over which is now lost to history. Emilie Savage- the nearest heaven with lamps,” there, not even glass.

Smith writes in a detailed study that “seam- says one translation of the The fixed stars, we know now, lessly cast globes continued to be made in La- Q’uran. are not arrayed like jewels on hore up to the mid-19th century. In 1842, Lala Numerous fantastical visions of Earth’s some finite celestial crown, but scattered like Balhumal Lahuri, a Hindu maker of precision shape and place in the universe have been pro- dust in a universe that may be infinitely large instruments made such a globe, inscribed in posed and discarded since antiquity. Such as — a universe that would fit in the palm of no Arabic and Persian for his Sikh patron.” She Anaximenes of Miletus (sixth century BC), earthly emperor. adds that “no workshop today, anywhere in who held that “the Earth was a cylinder three the world, knows how to do this and indeed times as wide as high, and that it was sur- rohit gupta explores the history of science as the casting of seamless metal spheres is re- rounded by three concentric rings carrying Compasswallah tfadesingh

THE COMPASS CHRONICLES

Two mighty rivers met...

Mystery of the starry sphere Only to engulf Andhra Pradesh in a flood of controversies and finger-pointing

Astronomers proposed and discarded many fantastical visions of the Earth’s shape and place in the universe before understanding that the universe, as we know it now, would fit in the palm of no earthly emperor

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ern and southern regions. The Himalayan network will have 14 links, while the peninsular network will have 16 river-links.

After the bifurcation of Andhra Pradesh, the Krishna’s waters were divided between the two states — 512 TMC for AP and 299 TMC for Telangana. The 80 TMC of Godavari floodwaters that will irrigate the parched Rayalaseema will, in turn, generate about ₹2,000 crore in farm incomes annually, says Naidu.

Divided opinion Opposition parties YSR Congress, Congress and Left groups see the PLIP as an interim and unnecessary investment, to make up for the delays in the Polavaram project. They allege that the PLIP was conceived as Polavaram continues to be dogged by controversy.

Additionally, the YSR Congress has levelled charges of corruption in the PLIP. Party leader Jyothula Nehru, from East Godavari, says that while no one is opposed to linking the two rivers, the Pattiseema is not only wasteful but alRace to finish Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister N Chandrababu Naidu inaugurates the Pattiseema lift irrigation works in West Godavari district s rambabu so dangerous. “There are apprehensions over it in the Godavari districts, but the governDrought-proof ments of Rayalaseema,” he adds. ment is going ahead in a tearing hurry, withFor Naidu, the Krishna-Godavari link constituDuring a flood, the 24 motors can discharge out addressing the issues,” he says. tes a major step in drought-proofing the state. 8,000 cusecs of water for 120 days.

V Arun Kumar, a former MP from RajahmunAnnually an estimated 3,000 TMC (thouAccording to Ramana Rao, associate vice- dry, terms it a “bogus project” designed to sand million cubic feet) of Godavari water president of MEIL, which is overseeing the Pat- serve only the interests of contractors and rulempties wastefully into the sea. According to tiseema project, “As of October 6, four pumps ing party leaders. He alleges that costs have the Bachawat Tribunal judgement and an in- and four motors are at an advanced stage of in- been grossly inflated for kickbacks. So, while ter-state agreement between Maharashtra, stallation. One pump is operational and the everyone is in favour of early completion of Madhya Pradesh and AP, 80 TMC of Godavari’s rest will be installed by early the Polavaram project, the Pattiwaters can be directed to the Krishna.

2016. Similar pumps have been seema project is causing deep diThe foundation for the PLIP was laid on installed in projects like the visions among the people. Only March 29, its phase one was inaugurated on Handri Neeva Srujala Sravanthi,” the Telugu Desam Party and the August 15, and the waters were released on he adds.

BJP have backed the PLIP. If the government September 16, making this river-linking not diverts some of the just peninsular India’s first but also one that Make-in-India project Troubled waters water to fill local has been achieved in record time.

The decades-old idea of interlin- tanks, we will benefit. After the Polavaram project acThe ₹1,300-crore PLIP will deploy 24 pumps king rivers was given serious quired a ‘national project’ status, Otherwise, we have to lift water from the Godavari and divert it in- consideration periodically, espethe costs have escalated from nothing to gain to the Krishna at the Prakasam barrage. It is ex- cially in the early 90s, and again ₹16,000 crore in 2011-12 to an estipected to be fully operational by the year-end, by the NDA government in the mated ₹25,000 crore today. in time for the next flood season, bringing 80 early noughties. Previously, While the left and right canal TMC of water to the Krishna river. there were proposals to link the works are at an advanced stage of This will directly benefit the delta region of Ganga and Cauvery in 1972, when KL Rao was completion, the head works need attention.

East and West Godavari, and Krishna districts. union water minister, and in 1977, when CapWhen implemented, the Polavaram project “It will be a boon to farmers. The surplus water tain Dinshaw Dastur proposed the idea of a will submerge 288 villages, affecting nearly will be used to cultivate eight lakh acres, ‘garland canal’ around Himalayan, central 50,000 people. Despite Naidu’s assurances which are currently dependent on Krishna wa- and peninsular India. that the project will see completion by 2018-19, ter and the monsoons,” says Adityanath Das, In February 2012, following Supreme Court the government has its task cut out — tackling principal secretary, Irrigation. approval, the National Water Development displacements, addressing neighbouring “And the water which flows into the Krishna Agency was entrusted with the task of moni- states’ concerns and raising funds. barrage from Srisailam and Nagarjunasagar toring the project. The ambitious project aims dams upstream will now be diverted to meet to harness the potential of Himalayan and From the fields the irrigation and drinking water require- peninsular rivers and divert them to the west- Some of the local farmers near the Pattiseema project site are aggrieved that they have not received adequate compensation for the lands they have lost to the project. The government acquired about 160 acres for laying pipelines, at ₹19.5 lakh per acre, but the farmers contend that some of the lands could fetch ₹20-25 lakh per acre.

“Godavari delta farmers are worried as it is one thing to build a large dam like Polavaram, create storage and divert water to Krishna, but it is an entirely different thing to lift water from a flowing river,” says Srinivas, a local farmer.

Meesala Appanna, another farmer, minces no words: “It (PLIP) is of no use to us. If the government diverts some of the water to fill local tanks, we will benefit. Otherwise, we have nothing to gain.”

The real beneficiaries would be farmers in the Krishna delta, and later those in Rayalaseema when water from Srisailam and Nagarjunasagar gets diverted. The water supply to the Krishna region would be met by Godavari and to Rayalaseema from Krishna, possibly by the next monsoon.

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Opposing stream YSR Congress legislators protest against the alleged corruption in PLIP mohammed yousuf

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Beer up inkhulla Belgium Khullam pyaar karenge…

In search of the perfect pint in a country where the brew is religion

A countrywide campaign gives public display of affection — frowned upon by vigilante groups and the police — a shot in the arm are mixed groups routinely targeted? How many of us visit our neighbourhood parks to read a book or eat an apple?

“I am from Chandigarh, the city of gardens.

But you will not find young people anywhere.

Even after 8-9 am, they’re thrown out of parks,” says Rachitaa. “When I moved to Delhi, over a year ago, I was introduced to a strange new walk,” she adds. Arms outstretched, bag handy to strike, shoulders slightly hunched…

“I have walked like this to college, in the colony, and on streets not realising it’s a funny walk,” Neha says, as I nod in commiseration.

For most of us, this is a familiar gait.

On ground, the campaign’s Facebook pages and Twitter feeds have been flooded with pictures of PDA: A heterosexual couple posing at the Taj Mahal at dusk, a gay duo peeking from behind a tree in Hyderabad, and an individual lazing on a park bench, holding up a placard that says ‘#ParkMeinPDA kyunki khaali bench ka kya faayda’. “The responses have been organic. We found that this issue resonated with almost everyone,” says Neha.

After two weeks of the campaign’s chai pe charchas, this is the truth universally acknowledged: To be a (middle-aged, middle- and upper-class Hindu cisgendered heterosexual) man is a wonderful thing.

In her seminal 1980 essay ‘What would a non-sexist city be like? Speculations on HousJust us two #ParkMeinPDA’s Facebook pages and Twitter feeds have been flooded with pictures from several cities kr deepak ing, Urban Design, and Human Work’, American historian Dolores Hayden writes, “‘A n a pleasant afternoon last Friday, on charges of indecent behaviour. More such woman’s place is in the home’ has been one of Liquid gold Almost every village in Belgium had its own brewery.

A photo from a beer in Brusselscops skyfish/shutterstock Central Park in Delhi’s Connaught acts followed soon.

In festival Ahmedabad, re- the most important principles of architectuPlace was teeming with people. It portedly asked hotel owners to inform them ral design and urban planning for the last cenwas a public holiday, on account of of couples taking rooms for less than two tury.” While most urban spaces are designed ry searching for the ‘beer capital of ders Gandhi Jayanti.

Families picnicked, friends region) boasts at least years ofman uninterhours.

In Mangaluru, a 50 Muslim was whole new of beer keeping a generation neutral person inentrepreneurs. mind, Shilpa thecouples world’ and Google will up rupted hung about, canoodled, andthrow men loibrewing. stripped and beaten for speaking to a Hindu The Revolution wasof soon eclipsed the beer Phadke, co-author Why Loiter? by writes, “As everything from Munich to Milwautered. Amid the family scenes, scores of cou- woman.

I got my first ‘taste’ it ofappears the Belgian Increasingly thattraditions young In- revolution of the 19thmiddle-class century — production educated, employed, urban Indikee. The 21st century seen aand re- at ples crouched behind clumps has of trees Timmermans, Itterbeek, just out- breakthroughs dians — couples, located women,atgenlike yeast culture and Czech an women, when we express a decord increase in ‘Beer Tourism’ and a host of side bushes, arms intertwined, eyes locked.

DupatBrussels. the world’s oldest Lam- pilsners coupled derqueer andPossibly trans-persons — with technological advances. sire to seek pleasure in the city, it cities queuing up for positions. some of the action. Beer tas took up strategic A couple, clad bic brewery (founded in 1702), its original In no time about are falling foul of the narrow breweries had mushseems3,000 problematic to some…

The nerds might lumberjack disapprove,shirts but there’s a new in matching and jeans, sat name wasofLa‘Indian Taupe.culture’.

Yeast was an unknown en- roomed all over confines Belgium; almost village desire for pleasure hasevery never been wave of beer snobbery the rise — it’s no tityEven in a passionate embrace.on Another couple stole then,the and Timmermans used spontaneous language that has had its own.as legitimate as the struggle ‘Safety’ and longer about just guzzling at the local fermentation kisses behind a blue bag, down surfacing hastily (without yeast) their emerged around displays of to craft The fizz didn’t forever;(But) the first blow againstlast violence. the quest ‘protection’ have pub with your Belgium’s beer culture is Lambic whenever copsmates. walked by. The giant tricolour inviolence a tradition that continues love andbeers sexual is one was the World I. I madestrengthens an unscheduled for War pleasure our becometill new excuses quite to largest the French in the similar park — the in theobsession country —with flut- date.

Ask the brewers here abouttotheir mostwomen of prohibition and exclusion. stop and at Ieper, one of against the fierce battlegrounds struggle violence, framing exclude wine.

Youthe don’t drink in Belgium, tered in breeze, andbeer a band got readyyou to important ingredient have and other genders from ‘Safety’ and ‘protection’ thislanguage war where thousands itofin the of rights rather taste it. stage. Cops marched about, wielding chances take the they’ll say ‘air’.

Timbecome are new excuses to ex(large numbers of Indians too) than protection.” public spaces Maybe was all these ‘Johnny come latelies’ lathis andit cocking an eye at smooching cou- mermans is one the genmany clude women andofother lost their The conquering When we lives. ask Rachitaa and Neha — theNevertheless, sudden emergence of beer all over ples. there was PDAcities (public dis- breweries now welcome visders from that public spaces.

Germans requisitioned almost what they would do differently in The quality of the — thatall prompted playglobe of affection) around. the Belgians to itors whoGupta, are interested in beerNeha 32, and Rachiall the copper vats, bringing designing a ‘non-sexist’ city, the drinking water was shed their inherent ago, reticence andofsetfeminist the re- making Over a fortnight a clutch techniques or just findtaa Gupta, 27, who spearheadindustry to a virtual Alformer quickly says, standstill.

“More lights deemed unsanitary cord straight about their beer traditions. be- ing groups — Feminisim in India Delhi, WhyItLoia quiet corner in bar. ed #ParkMeinPDA, saytheir the campaign sought and toilets”, while most the every corner of “increasBelgium latter bats for, and the monks in gan in Back the Middle Ages; the Queer monks in Their ter, Take The Night Kolkata, Cambrewsboth are served platto reclaim publicwith space and PDA. Held ing visibility has stories of how villages of all genders in allentire spaces.”

Belgium chose beer Southern Europe Hyderabad received special privileges to pus Hyderabad, for Feminism — tekaas, large slices of bread from September 21 to October 3, the campaign helped hide large vats equip-a Hayden offers a remedy too: Toand develop over wine drink amounts wine. The and a stipulated few individuals cameoftogether toquality start a daubed cream online cheeseand andoffline discus- new paradigm spawnedwith numerous ment to escape of of the home,the theattention neighbourof drinkingcalled water#ParkMeinPDA. was deemed unsanitary and campaign Launched in sprinkled condiments. sions. In with tweetchats, curated by feminist hood, and the thecity; Germans, to beginsuggesting to describethat the the wake monks choseofbeer over wine. groups of in theBelgium latest round moral policing Not alllike beer accompaniments Why Loiter, Genderlog, and Girl- physical, social, Belgians love theirdesign beer asofmuch and economic a huThe abbeys became hubs for experiments and, are in Mumbai, the campaign, with its cheeky that uncomplicated.

In the sAtDhabas, a host of issues cropped up: Are man settlement as their Thesupport, Great Depresthatlives. would rather soon, beer aimed discoveries Hoegaarden — the ’70s, hashtag, to like direct conversations Himmelhof pioneered parksrestaurants meant only like for families and the elderly? sion the the next big blow.

The downward than was restrict, activities of women.” wheat that was spaces. first brewed 1445 — the aroundbeer PDA in public CentralinPark was artwomen of beer gastronomy.

It wasn’t just food Can’t loiter at street corners, bus slide continued tillconversation the ’60s, when the flower Meanwhile, the started by the were not amade. designated site for the campaign, but it crafted for beach beer but also food used beer as power stops, and fronts?

Whythat is a woman subgeneration made many includ#ParkMeinPDA campaign will things, hopefully skip It wasn’t until 2007 that the Belgian Family ingredient. might as well have been.

The late wereshops an important jected to a male gaze’70s at paan and dha- ing Belgian beer, cool.

The point out of the park, spill over to tipping our streets, andhad inBrewers, close-knit group of 20-odd family- time In earlya August, Mumbai cops had barged for Belgium’s beer industry.

The abbeys to wait bas? What about gay men and trans-women’s till the ’70s; Beer guru Michael Jackson our homes. owned breweries, wasIsland formed. these lost into hotels at Madh andEach Aksaofbeach, their exclusive privileges after the (equally revered as MJ in the drinking circles) rights to public spaces?

Does just gentrification priyanka kotamraju breweries (mostly in the Dutch-speaking Flan- French and detained 13 couples (consenting adults) Revolution, the rise Why of a put perpetuate class andwhich caste saw hierarchies? the spotlight back on the Belgian brew.

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No hand of god A play is ready but finds no stage — theatre man Kaizaad Kotwal is in the eye of a storm as fringe Catholic groups want a ban on his latest production

Questions of faith A scene from Kaizaad Kotwal’s Agnes of God, based on a play written by American John Pielmeier. The plot is said to be inspired by the true story of a pregnant nun sheriar irani

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n March this year, Mumbai-based theatre actor, director and producer Kaizaad Kotwal wrote an impassioned letter to American comic Jerry Seinfeld, imploring him not to perform in India. At the time, the city was just about recovering from the longdrawn drama over comedy collective AIB’s infamous roast which ended with FIRs being slapped on everyone involved. Seeing how things turned out, Kaizaad thought it was in Seinfeld’s best interests to stay away. “Who knows what moral brigade may take offence at something you say and press criminal charges against you? Who knows what small word/gesture you deliberately/otherwise use shall cause harm/offence to someone who has the right to pursue this in our courts of law?” he wrote in a blog published on The Huffington Post. Seinfeld didn’t end up coming. It wasn’t Kotwal’s pleas, but Mumbai Police’s concern over parking at the venue that finally pulled the plug on the much-awaited show.

The contents of Kaizaad’s letter now seem eerily prophetic. Early last week Kaizaad and his mother Mahabanoo Mody-Kotwal — both prominent theatre personalities — became victims of the very same things it warned of.

The Kotwals, who run the company Poor Box productions, were all set to debut their latest play, Agnes of God, at the Sophia Bhabha Auditorium on October 4, when the venue backed out. The subject of the play, especially the newspaper ads promoting it, was strongly condemned by the Bombay Archdiocese, the highest Catholic body of the western region.

But the loudest noise was made by the fringe group Catholic Secular Forum (CSF) or, as Kaizaad describes them, “The same guys who chased AIB.” “The notion that art can still be dangerous thrills me,” said Kaizaad, as he addressed a

packed auditorium on Monday, a day after his Mumbai in particular. The play was written by cancelled show. His choked voice was a give- American John Pielmeier more than 30 years away of the pain he had endured over the past ago. Though its premise is controversial, the few days. Unwilling to be bullied by the CSF, he play had a great run on Broadway (back when invited his friends and the who’s who of the it opened in 1982) and was adapted into a 1985 theatre fraternity for a special premiere at the film starring Jane Fonda. One can access the Tata Theatre of the National Centre of Per- film on YouTube. The plot is said to be inspired forming Arts. The play was staged to a packed by the true story of a pregnant nun who insisthouse, which applauded in solidarity. But ed the child was the result of a virgin concepamidst all the cheer, there were reminders of tion. “The play questions the sacrifice of nuns. the threats surrounding the event. The most Now, they will sell the tickets for hundreds of obvious one being the police van parked out- rupees,” said Joseph Dias, the general secretaside and a group of constables seated at a close ry of CSF, in a statement. distance from the stage to protect the actors.

Dias concluded the contents of the play “I never thought it (police prowere problematic based on an tection) would be necessary for advertisement he saw in the paa simple work of art. In the last pers. To allay his fears, the Kot20 years, we’ve become increaswals offered to pull the ads, but ingly intolerant. We have to Dias wanted more. “Their advoTheir advocate fight back, we have to restore cate Joseph Sodder told me, ‘I’ve Joseph Sodder told freedom, and make this a better filed a case against Karan Johar me, ‘I’ve filed a case democracy,” says Kaizaad. It’s and Ranveer Singh. Who are you? against Karan Johar the morning after his successful I’ll put you in jail.’ So that’s what and Ranveer Singh. premiere and the director is althey want,” says Kaizaad. The CSF Who are you? I’ll put ready at the shoot of a television website proudly lists other books you in jail serial. Later that day, he has an and films (including The Da Vinci advertisement to film. “Legal Code) that the group has manbills have to be paid,” he says aged to stall. with a laugh. Minutes before, Meanwhile, Kaizaad is left to Kaizaad had been informed of an FIR filed deal with the huge financial loss this ugly epiagainst him at Bandra police station. “It is in- sode has cost him. “We don’t have sponsors. teresting they went to the Bandra Police Sta- We make our money from tickets. So now I’ve tion because that’s not where the play took got a ready product but no places to perform,” place. It is a predominantly Christian area and he says. The Sophia College has scrapped all they are using those sentiments to fan flames. his bookings till April next year, and this will They are very savvy in that sense. This is their likely impact the decision of other venues as modus operandi. They are not really con- well. “But I know there will be venues that will cerned about hurt sentiments,” he adds. come up and support us,” he says, in a voice filThe argument about hurt sentiments led with hope. doesn’t hold water. This isn’t the first time that Agnes of God has been staged in India, or mohini chaudhuri

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READER’S DIE JEST

ments take place all the time. My sister’s daughter, Rupa, was just 15 when she went away with a boy of her age from a neighbouring line [demarcated labour colonies in the gardens are termed ‘labour lines’]. They came back a month later and their parents had no option but to get them married.”

Anita blames the use of mobile phones and cinema (read Bollywood) for this trend. “Our neighbour’s daughter also eloped at 16. This is why girls should be married before they can make such mistakes,” she adds.

However, the repercussions of child marriage are extremely adverse. An early pregnancy puts at risk the lives of both the mother and baby. Sandip Ghosh of ABITA says the mean age for motherhood in the tea gardens is 19.3 years. Dr Ziaur Rahman, who practises in a Sonitpur tea garden, says many adolescent girls and women in the gardens are anaemic because of poor diets, so early pregnancies result in higher maternal deaths.

Desertion is yet another risk in early marriages. Sarati Kisan, member of a Mothers’ Club formed by ABITA to spread health awareness, says, “They marry young and find it difficult to cope. If the girl becomes pregnant, the boy is not mentally prepared to shoulder the responsibility. Many young women return to their parents’ home and lead lives of great uncertainty.”

Despite a declining trajectory, Assam still has one of the country’s highest maternal mortality ratios (MMR) — 328 per one lakh live births. According to Mondakini Gogoi, a National Rural Health Mission (NRHM) official in Jorhat district, the tea gardens have pushed and had two children before she turned 20. up the state’s MMR and IMR (infant mortality According to government data, at 40 per rate) levels. “The gardens are our focus area cent the prevalence of child marriage in As- now,” she says. sam is lower than the national average of 43 Adolescent Girls Clubs, run by ABITA in partper cent (source: Unicef), but it is much higher nership with Unicef, are now actively working in some pockets such as tea gardens. A study to prevent child marriages in the tea gardens. guothova/shutterstock

by Assam Branch of Indian Tea Association When Seema, a 14-year-oldjana from a Dibrugarh (ABITA) in Dibrugarh, a tea garden-intensive tea garden, found out that her parents were sis at home andthat I’m needed. district, found one-fourth of the respon- 5/10/2015 planning to get her married, she got in touch dents (4,100 parents) felt it was appropriate OK, found out what theother termmembers prodigal withI finally her friend Rumi, 13, and 1/10/2015 for girls to marry between the ages of son means. whyTogether does she callconvinced him the of herBut club. they I14don’t know who the woman of the house is prodigal son? and 18.

If anything, I am prodigal Seema’s parents of the physical, more by,this theare boyvaror the mother-in- son. Or… wait. Isemotional, Thetroubled reasons for she referring me after andtoother toll all? taklaw. of them do inappropriate things. He ied. Both For one, as Moni points en by child marriage. makes her are go on crazy adventures, and she re- 6/10/2015 out, girls considered “Seema’s grandmother does all the paintings when she’s been sum- This is it. Why why why better-suited for work incident about wasis that especially difficult moned to help withof something else. The my asking my wife toto such as the plucking unbutton mybut jeans convince, sheon fiwoman doesn’t count leaves, and easily find on me much for any- the fashion ramp in this actually nallybook? cameShe around.

We thing except toinbetheir glued to my iPad. Just as had to go to the police also employment station because asked told the Ifamily well. still struggling teens.I’mOnce they be- with Angry Birds, at her to do it, and there that I waschild thinking she was marriage is which son says, oh dad, so last decade. come my wage earners, all turned on by the against idea. Turns out itRumi was the law,” they are deemed to be nothing of the sort.

SheToday, wasthe reluctant. adds. girls are 2/10/2015 of marriageable age.

RELUCTANT. thrilled to have Seema ForPoor some reason I is am the butt of all her jokes. schooling anothback in school. According She went on stage and er important factor.

Teasaid, gar-‘Our little satellite 7/10/2015 to Unicef, the tea garden reached Mars because it was called MOM. If it Also, what’s with dens have schools only up to the phone survey that clubs have reported 144shows cases was called DAD,Girls it would primary level. drop still out be afbachelors as the happiest peoof child marriage during 2008circling Earth, but not ter that, the as their parents arewillunple?

Did I successfully make a mistake 10, and have stalled ing to ask for them directions.’

I’ve willing to send to schools somewhere?

12 of them.

Once they become been asking her for theAdded number that are further away. to Anita Aind, 19, who is doing For some reason I wage earners, they of who barged in on the allthe thisdad is the general non-prefer8/10/2015 her bachelor’s in education and am the butt of all are deemed to be of school WhatsApp group, ence formoms’ daughters.

Madan KishShe saidtomy baby has ‘genetically wants become a teacher, obher jokes marriageable age but she refuses to give it to me. an, medical health assistant at a made-for-karate serves that there hands’. has beenI aknow drop tea garden hospital in Sonitpur what in the‘genetically’ number of means. child marriag3/10/2015 and a member of the local comes. “Parents now realise the imWhy whyexplains, why is the of munity, “Thewoman tea tribe 9/10/2015 portance of education… My the house washing linen in public? Why She said sheparents community has dirty always prehas twocontinue GermantoShepherds at work in the do I come out sounding as an oaf who ferred male children to female.

It is themight usual home. do?

Wherethat are they? garden,We but ensured I studied along with love his wife and get children, yes,and butgo doesn’t argument — girls married away my brothers.” seem care forand anything in the house,inreally, whileto sons stay look after parents their 10/10/2015 Her friend Rupali seconds her, “I am in Class busy only and strange old age.

Sowith they his are movies, eager toiPad, relinquish the re- But she’s right about annoying WhatsApp 12 and want to do a course in nursing.

Most muscle-building diet? for their daughters as messages sponsibility of caring hungover on atoday Sunday girls in our when labour line are studying and soon as possible.” morning. you won’t find any child marriage there!”

(This monthly column youunder talk about a 4/10/2015 The third factor is a rather curious one, and feature has been helps written the Nahaving to awarded read it.) by the National So of mineamong tells meother the woman of the book notthis thatfan prevalent communities tionalwithout Media Fellowship house has written a book that’soften Helenrun Fielding — elopement.

Teenage couples away Foundation of India) meets PG Wodehouse. are they?

I’ve never to marry against theirWho families’ wishes.

Anita arunava sinha translates classic, contemporary non-fiction intoWomen’s English t@arunava azerafiction, parveen rahman Feature Service seen their Lohar, an movies. adivasi tea worker, says, “Elope- Bengali

Adam’s crib

We’ve been married so many years and still she expects me to read a book

arunava sinha

Nipped in the bud Teen clubs are sprouting in Assam’s tea gardens to fight the decades-old scourge of child marriage

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ike any adolescent, Sangeeta Lohar has dreams about her future. The confident 17-year-old wants to complete her education and become a nurse — hastily clarifying with a smile, “a nurse, not in a tea garden hospital, but in a town”. Girls in her community of adivasis working in the tea gardens of Assam are rarely able to live out 27/9/2015 their childhood or weave dreams for themThe woman the houseare hascommon written aamong book. selves.

Childofmarriages She expects metoto read it. I indices. cleverly spilled a them, leading poor social glass of of vegetable juiceinonAssam’s it. She tea rolled her Most the workers plantaeyes me to start eating someancestors real food tionsand aretold tribal migrants, whose which I wouldn’t spillfrom on her book or on her. I were brought over the neighbouring reminded her of Jharkhand, the time her kebabs felland on states of Odisha, West Bengal her dress.

Hehehe.

Shethan thought I wasago. there.

Andhra Pradesh more a century ButI wasn’t.

It’s in her A fanhas told me. tremenwhile Assam’s teabook. industry made dous progress over the years, the workers con28/9/2015 tinue to lead dismal lives, plagued by Last night illiteracy, in her sleep woman of the ignorance, poorthe health and poverty. house asked me if funny.

I told her she’s Child marriages areshe’s a direct offshoot of this. hilarious she’s talking toworker her mother.

As Moniwhen Komar, a tea garden in SoShe sulked.

I have why.

In the nitpur district, onno theidea north bank of morning the Brahshe told river, me she was referring to they her book. maputra explains, “Girls, once are 15 We’ve married so tea many years and and earn still or 16, been can work in the garden she expects mefor totheir read afamilies. book. I blame my some money From it anon early mother-in-law.

She has a strange of and huage they are taught to cook, washsense dishes mour.

Myand mother-in-law, that siblings. is, not theSowomclothes, look after their paran thethat house.

Thedaughters baby hasare theready greatest entsoffeel their for sense of humour marriage by that here. age.” Moni was married at 17 Mrs Funnybones Twinkle Khanna Penguin Non-fiction ₹299

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Stop sign Members of the Mothers’ Club at a tea garden in Sonitpur district, Assam, discuss ways to dissuade their young girls and boys from eloping; (top) the Assam tea industry has flourished, but its workers lead dismal lives; (inset) Rupali and Anita are among the young crusaders battling child marriage azera rahman/wfs

29/9/2015 What’s with all the diary entries? Why can’t she just do a compilation of jokes like that Khushi Singh used to do? That’s a book I could have read. I tried reading THE book, but this daily entry thing terrifies me.

30/9/2015 Hey, I can be funny about the woman of the house too. Like what’s this business she runs?

More like she runs away from it. Hahaha. And it’s not like she can run. You should see her on the beach. Except that one time she chased these guys who were passing comments. She should have called me, I would have shown them a thing or two. I can hang upside down from balconies. I do it every time there’s a cri-

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Well, John McCain came with Lindsay Graham and Richard Holbrooke, who was President Obama’s man. It was a bipartisan group, who came from India after meeting people at the highest level, and McCain told me that there was a lot of anger in India. He said a war could take place, but it could still be averted. And he asked me what the Pakistani reaction would be, if there was a limited strike in Muridke. I could not believe my ears. I told him that the Pakistani army would be under tremendous public pressure to respond, it would be delegitimised in people’s eyes if it did not respond.

So the army would give a commensurate response to the Indian action. I said the Pakistani army would perhaps go after an airfield in India, maybe one in Jammu and Kashmir. And from then on, the war could escalate as Indians may respond to that, and no one could predict how far it would go, particularly with both countries armed with nuclear weapons.

Tit for tat In Neither a Hawk nor a Dove, Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri writes that after the 2008 Mumbai attacks, American senators warned him of a possible military strike by India sushil kumar verma

AGENDA

Doves, hawks and diplomacy Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri, former Pakistan foreign minister, on working with elected political leaders and military dictators, and negotiating the complex relationship with India sambuddha mitra mustafi

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hurshid Mahmud Kasuri was Pakistan’s foreign minister between 2002 and 2007, under the military dictatorship of General Pervez Musharraf. Kasuri was in New Delhi this week to promote his new book Neither a Hawk, Nor a Dove. He gave BLink an exclusive interview, which has been lightly edited and condensed: In a long political career, you have worked with the Bhuttos, the Sharifs and now with Imran Khan. And you were Pakistan’s foreign minister under the military dictatorship of President Musharraf. Does that make you an adaptable politician or someone lacking ideological conviction?

There is no real ideological difference between different parties in Pakistan. Someone like Musharraf, even though he was from a military background, was more democratic than the civilian parties. When I disagreed with Nawaz Sharif I had to resign, whereas Musharraf was much more open-minded, and had better administrative skills. Musharraf also held much more modern views on women, on minorities.

The inheritance culture in our “democratic parties” brings about a different sort of dictatorial tendency. That is the great paradox of our politics. Ironically, the one party which is most democratic internally right now is the Ja-

maat-e-Islami. But then, I do not come from that mindset. I had also refused to join Zia-ulHaq, though I had offers. I protested against him and was even arrested for it.

We know that Pakistan’s army plays a big role in deciding foreign policy towards India and Afghanistan in particular. Isn’t that a big hindrance to the peace process?

It doesn’t really matter who is running the foreign policy in Islamabad or Delhi, the bilateral relations are far too important for that. You don’t really have a choice in who you want to talk to. Look, the military plays a role in foreign policy in India too, and friction between the military and the civilian leadership has been seen in the US and India as well. Pakistan has gone through decades of political turmoil, we house more than 4.5 million refugees, and when you have chaos, the army ends up playing a bigger role. The civilian government can control the relationship more when there is peace.

Do you see Narendra Modi being able to make a substantial difference in the peace process or does he have to play Hindutva champion by being hawkish on Pakistan?

On Modi, I would say that a man who has risen from a humble background like he has would have a sense of destiny. He would want to do something to put the relationship back into place. But if another Mumbai were to happen, all hell could break loose.

What Modi must do is appoint a back-channel negotiator on Kashmir, someone whom he trusts, without telling anyone. If the talks make any progress after five or six months, that is when he should announce it. That is his best chance of making any progress on the peace process.

Also, most of the time, perceiving someone as hawk or dove depends on the person who is judging. For example, most Pakistanis think I’m a dove, while most Indians probably think I’m a hawk.

In India, your current party leader Imran Khan is seen as a bit of a populist who plays to the Islamist gallery.

You know, Imran once told me that it was strange that liberal You’ve been part of the Pakistani friends want us to go Pakistani ruling elite for long. to war in Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa Someone like (KP), against our own people, Musharraf, even though Do you and other Pakistani policymakers now regret while liberals in London and Pahe was from a military using non-state actors as ris are protesting against the background, was more foreign policy tool? war. You also have to look at the democratic than the Non-state actors have been a psychological aspect of it: Imran civilian parties disaster, no question about is a Pathan, though he grew up that, and we are paying a heavy in Lahore. He will have a soft corprice for that. We did not anticner for Pathans who are sufferipate what has happened in ing in KP. All my Pathan friends, regardless of their background, oppose the ar- terms of extremism in our own country. No my’s actions in KP. I do have my disagreements one is safe in Pakistan today, including women with Imran, but on India and Kashmir, we are and children. I feel the current military operation in KP will be taken to its logical concluon the same page. sion, because now people in Pakistan don’t In your book, you write that after the 2008 want to put up with this anymore. We don’t Mumbai attacks, US Senator John McCain want to become one more Iraq, Libya or Syria. told you India might be considering a strike sambuddha mitra mustafi is the founder of The in Muridke, the headquarters of Jamaat-udDawa outside Lahore.

Political Indian t@some_buddha

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EXTRACT COSMOPOLIS

Small new To liveplaces, a hero’s lifecountries Hari Majestic finds himself on life’s backburner andand decides make — amends by getting There are many things common between Indians PuertotoRicans a history of acolonialism, job that willreverence make himfor a class act idols, and a taste for dhania patta. In truth, they are worlds apart alphabetical order, of course. Just the other day, he too had been an unemployed drifter, struggling to find a job, but now, all of a sudden, he was a professional full-time hero and the director of a detective agency.

Here on the rooftop of an old brick shed in a slum, spending the afternoon spying on a beautiful woman, he had plenty of time to think things through. It had all started a week ago and his thoughts meandered back to that momentous day when everything changed.

kanishk tharoor

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Hari – A Hero for Hire Zac O’Yeah Pan Macmillan Fiction ₹350

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n August, I travelled to Puerto Rico, an equally beautiful and troubled island in the Caribbean. I had recently read Jamaica Kincaid’s A Small Place, a memoir about her own Caribbean island of Antigua, in which she savages tourists. Her words reverberated still. “An ugly thing, that is what you are when you become a tourist, an ugly empty thing, a stupid thing.” In her reckoning, a The second book the Hari Majestic series, tourist is a kind ofin moral monster.

Locals, she Zac O’Yeah’s – A Hero for Hire,tourist, is a writes, resent Hari the privileges of the comic detective thriller in which Hari “your ability to leave your own banality and opens his ownability detective agency and invites boredom, your to turn their own banalwhole lot of trouble. ityaand boredom into a source of pleasure for yourself.”

Prologue If I’m honest, only a smidgen of guilt enHari Majestic an unadulterated hero.I croached uponfelt thelike pleasures of Puerto Rico.

He there heardondeafening explosions and asmelt was honeymoon with my wife, Pueracrid smoke. was ready save the(which world, is if to Rican bornHe and raised into New York it should turn outPuerto to be necessary. home to so many Ricans that some conTheitfestival season was and Bengasider an outcropping of peaking the island itself).

Its luruwere was, irresistible as usual, being blown into bits.rum, The joys and constant: good good thing with the racket was that500-yearnobody shimmering bioluminescent bays, paidcobbled much attention tolong two men abanold streets, the viewson of an weather doned rooftop. and Triplex too daphad drifting west fromHari the Lesser Antilles and bought that they threw down to crepling thecrackers sea. ateAabox-shaped smokescreen.

Theyofwere island just pros. under four milThe October air was Triplex, Hari’s lion people, Puerto Ricocool is anbut “unincorporated second-in-command, was sweating.

Given territory” of the United States.

Its residents, that his normal citizens, attentionhave spannonever exceedwhile American meaningful ed three seconds, had been remarkably forepresentation inheWashington.

At the mocused for change.teeters on the precipice of ment, thea island ‘Damn hot,’and saidfinancial Triplex. ruin (it is often bankruptcy ‘What’s hot?’ asked Hari, pretending to called “the Greece of the Caribbean”).

The only mend a cable hanging limply fromisatourism. coconut industry of any remaining vitality palm.

When Kincaid wrote A Small Place in the late Triplex a small camera at the squat 1980s, she aimed was imagining the mostly white Eupink hutand across theAmericans lane. Using thecame digital ropeans North who to zoom he framed close-upofofthe theCaribbean woman taksprawl upon the abeaches — ing down laundry.

It was possible make out “incredibly unattractive, fat, topastrylikedetails asPuerto fine Rico as her eyelashes. fleshed.” has no shortage‘Majestic, of those you’vebut gotittoissee this!’ now, also full of Indian tourists. We It waseverywhere: afternoon and Hari was sufran‘What?’ into Indians there in spandex

How to Get a Hero’s Job Buildings were like people. Sometimes a modest exterior concealed the scariest things and vice versa. ‘Take this one for example,’ Mr Majestic said to himself.

From across the busy street it looked like a humble and homely building. The threestorey box of monsoon-worn concrete could Island with a view have belonged to any middle class part of In Puerto Rico, joys are town, but for the record irresistible it stood aand short motorbike ride west of Bengaluru railway constant. City Seen here, a station in Rajaji Nagar – awoman vast area of corn shops, feeding to pigeons in the city a random offices and small-scale industries, Old San Juan sprinkling of temples toof improve your life, ap/ricardo arduengo hospitals that claimed to cure anything, including death if that was what you suffered outfits renting mountain bikes, there spank- dusky from, and public if you didn’t San aJuan thiscrematorium summer — its clutter of ing their naughty children on the street cor- water survivetowers, despitepalm taking every peeling precaution. fronds, rooftops, ners of Old San Juan, there amid the poetry bright Hariflowering Majestic scanned the Ioffice building’s trees — I felt was looking out shelves of a bookshop, there warily eyeing a at facade again it bore no imminent Kolkata, mybut mother’s city,signs in itsofown amber plate of mashed plantains. Travel to Puerto Ri- hour threat. ofOne cow just dust.couldn’t tell. He was used to co allows US-based NRIs the luxury of going weird and creepy But entering But things the experience of places. travel and tourism somewhere without the rigmarole of apply- can police stations establishments have a sneakyand wayrelated of reaffirming what we a-r-t/shutterstock. ing for a visa. They come in droves and are a fa- want made to him queasy without fail, since never believe about ourselves.

At he best, we miliar sight for locals. knew he was to come out a free man. can tryifnot to begoing “stupid” as Kincaid describes, fering from aRican bad headache, which made In Puerto Spanish, all Indians arehim re- to The motorcycle’s engine cooled slid be attentive travellers, careful inand our he judgeirritable, buthindús in another couple hours the ments, ferred to as or indios de laofIndia (“Indioff afterwilling padlocking his military style to observe.

It would be helmet foolish sun would mercifully down the horizon.

It to the ans from India”).

Thisslip avoids confusion with handleparallels bar. The late monsoon reinterpret as real bonds,wasn’t to overhadnormal been a painful day.word It wasn’t the use of the in- always easy to ally happening therefore thebetween city was exstate and the connections Inbe a hero. dios, which is kept for the inperiencingdiadrought.

Small cloudsInoftruth, dust and Latin America.

‘The item,people of course.’ digenous of the mushroomed underneath his rubber they from remain worlds apart, exotic ‘Don’t get Hari. ‘We’re profes- sandals. realms in the imagination of the Americas.

Theideas,’ latter issaid a ghostIs an Indian visiting sionals she’s offthe limits.’ ly kind and of Indian; native As for aother. getaway plan, he shared had parked his There are no languagthe Caribbean a ‘Chillinhabitants out, Majestic.

Taíno of I was the just is- making an ob- bike so that it faced es and few away. direct The ties.motorcycle If we are different sort of servation the report. land werefor wiped out or This ab- is a romantic- manufacturer’s appealed wiredmotto together at all,to it him: is in‘Made large creature than a jealousy case so itcolonial follows that our job is to like a Gun,part sorbed intoand the Goesthrough like a Bullet’.

It dated back to the west, a connecwestern visitor? peep at her.’centuries ago. population days when tionthe mediated by armies westernbought cities, Hari hisvisiting cool. ‘Good, try Is an kept Indian the CaEnfield Bullets bulk.

In case universities, sports,inand media.

Afto think like a detective.’ ribbean a different sort of he the must make a quick escape, ter all, only reason I met my wife Triplex’sthan appreciation creature a western of vis-fehe’dfirst simply runwas out,because hop on and in the place we maleKincaid beauty was his that mainwestern draw- tourists itor? insists travbugger both lived in New York.off.

Entering police stations back toasAntigua a detective. elled in part to Three wallow in a sense of related On foot in now, Harimy negotiated Once when travelling India, wife was and seconds superiority; after the woman cultural historyhad grants establishments them the heldmade traffic, dodging briefly atthe an disorderly airport. The security officera gone to inside with the washing right be tourists while making him the natives decorated elephant headed to a puzzledfail, at her American passport, Spanish queasy without and there was nothing else to objects of touristic regard, “backwards in that temple festival nearby – it was name, and ambiguous appearance.

“You look since he never knew if zoom in onway.” he said: charming of the to Indian,” that the time officer said.year.

MyThanks wife exhe was goingvery to come ‘So what perhaps, do we Ido Wishfully likenext, to think thatout there hiswas alert and notsenses Indian, butdecent PuertokarRia freeplained man that she Majestic?’ is an easier understanding between Indians can. Unsurprisingly, ma he had, so far, always surthe officer had never A the propensity to the be Caribbean easily and peoples of and Latin heard of Puerto vived the Bengaluru streets.near Rico.

“It’s a small island bored was his second greatest America.

There are many things in common, Cuba,” my wife explained On the first floor the build(she hadoffound that drawback. from a history of European colonialism to the of all the islands ing there a chit fund comof thewas Caribbean, Indians ‘Waitmulticulturalism and see.’ innate of our societies to a most pany readily optimistically Interesting recognisednamed Cuba). The officer ‘What if for nothing happens?’ reverence idols and a taste for dhania patta, nodded Pyramidal Scheme Pvtthe Ltd. He herInvestment head and considered great ‘Thatand would be Athe that could flux garlic, cumin. fewbest yearsthing ago, my mother, headed upwide the stairs next of the world.to “Itthe must be floor, one ofwhere those happen.’ my brother, and I were accosted in the nation- new he noted a firmshe that went by the somewhat countries,” said. lit aincigarette watching al Triplex museum Mexico and Citystarted by a janitor whoa cryptic name of Telegraphic Intimations. Hari is the authoron of Swimmer Among song-and-dance onIndia his phone.

Hari Majes- kanishk claimed that he clip loved for two reasons: had readtharoor about telegraphs Wikipedia but short of Stories, tic scanned muddy of lane for lay- the the righteoustheidealism thebelow Non-Aligned hadStars: no clue theya forthcoming still existedcollection in the ITofcapital abouts, lechers – not necessarily in fiction Movement and and the louts film Sholay.

Gazing over India.tkanishktharoor Up a final flight of stairs, he spotted an

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UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY

How does a state apologise?

More than 50 years on, India still owes an explanation to those it detained at a war camp in Rajasthan for having Chinese blood

Nobody’s own Chinese internees at Deoli playing a game of mahjongg the hindu archives

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Omair Ahmad is the South Asia Editor for The Third Pole, reporting on water issues in the Himalayas

oy Ma cleared her throat in a slightly hesitant manner, and said, “Today is my birthday.” It was an unexpected revelation, and our group, gathered at the office of the National Foundation of India, paused for a moment before breaking out in congratulations.

Although it is not a gentleman’s job to question a lady about her age, I knew that Joy had just turned 52. She was one of five children born in Deoli, Rajasthan, in the World War II prisoner-of-war camp that India had converted, after the 1962 war, into an internment camp for its citizens of Chinese origin.

At one time, scholars calculate, there were up to 30,000 people of Chinese origin living in Kolkata’s Chinatown alone. By the fall of 1962 that number had dwindled to about one-tenth across the country. Many had been only transient residents anyway, remnants of General Chiang Kai-shek’s Kuomintang army, which had lost the civil war against Mao Tse-tung’s Communists. They eventually made their way to Taiwan. Others had been traders and businessmen, and as the relations soured between India and China, they too left for Hong Kong, Taiwan, or other lands that would have them.

It was the misfortune of the 3,000 or so left behind — most of them born in India of parents who were also born in India — that they hadn’t lived anywhere except in their homes in Kolkata, Darjeeling, Kalimpong and the surrounding areas.

As I have written in an earlier column, the round-up of Indians of Chinese origin made no sense. It was after India had already lost the war that whole families were swept up merely because of their ethnicity. Yin Marsh was a teenager, only 13, when the police arrived for

her family. First her father was taken for ques- so callously that children, grandparents and tioning. The family didn’t know his where- pregnant women would be dragged off to abouts for a whole month. Then they took the spend years behind bars for the crime of their rest of the family. Yin’s grandmother was one ancestry. It boggles the mind that 16 years after of the world’s last Chinese lotus feet — women Independence, after our ‘tryst with destiny’, who had their feet bound as children to keep five children were born in captivity. One of them small, and supposedly attractive. Her them, living in Canada now, is named Deoli, affeet were the size of fists, but the Indian state ter the place of her birth, carrying the name of dragged the hobbling old woman to a camp that jail for the rest of her life. for enemies of the state.

Most of the detainees were held in Deoli for Many of the people were detained just after three years, and then released back to their the Chinese New Year, an occasion meant to be hometowns. By the time they returned home, auspicious, to give hope of good their belongings had disapin the coming days. What Yin repeared from their houses and calls instead are the expressions warehouses. They had to beg for on the faces of the crowd that loans to start over. Young chilgathered around her family as dren, who had spent three years It boggles the mind they were being taken away. in prison, lost their education, that 16 years after These were their neighbours, and had to make do with stunted Independence, after families they had known for gencareers. Maybe the saddest part is our ‘tryst with erations. Now they looked upon destiny’, five children that most of us do not even Yin’s family as if they were were born in captivity know, or care to know, of this hisstrangers, foreigners. tory. Joy is the youngest of those Joy’s mother did not know she former prisoners; most of the was pregnant at the time of desurvivors among those wrongly tention. When she found out, held under the scorching Rajasshe begged the doctors for an abortion. She than sun for no fault of theirs are much older. was denied permission. But they took good In another decade or so, they may no longer be care of her, the nurse went out of her way to be with us. kind, and Joy’s mother received extra rations.

It behoves us to consider what we can do to In Beyond Barbed Wires, a documentary by Ra- apologise to these fellow-citizens of ours, to feeq Ellias on the internees who lived through mark their tragedy, so that such a crime is nevthe horrifying experience, Joy’s mother says er repeated. But how does a state apologise? It she cannot regret the fact that permission for is something for us to think about, before the an abortion was denied. At least she has Joy. people we have sinned against so grievously It is staggering that an India born to free- are no longer around to forgive us. dom, with the promise of freedom for its citit@OmairTAhmad zens, would treat some of its own so brutally,

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Role call Priyanka Chopra in a promotional photoshoot for the new television drama Quantico, in which she is Alex Parrish, the protagonist new york times/ alexi hobbs; (right) Slumdog Millionaire star Anil Kapoor as agent Jai Singh Rathod in 24, an Indian adaptation of the hit international series afp/punit paranjpe

FILM FATALE

It matters, Naseersaab “I don’t know why we hanker after this Oscar business,” says Naseeruddin Shah. Yes, let us not “hanker”, but let us not be dismissive of a global stage either

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wo important — seemingly unrelat- star performs in an overseas production that and businesses — from clothing chains to pized — events occurred on the Indian is worthy of her stature at home, she could en- za joints and fried chicken — owe much to Holentertainment scene in the past dear India just that little bit more to people of lywood, which has been America’s most month. First, the National Award- other nations. effective brand ambassador across the globe. winning Marathi film Court was selected as In“Worthy” is crucial here. The idea is not to This is why it is important for India’s film india’s entry for the race to the Best Foreign Lan- be a token brown-skinned prop in an inconse- dustries not to have a frog-in-the-well attitude, guage Film Oscar next year. And Quantico — the quential role or to play a part in pigeonholing but to work hard towards improving their inAmerican serial that marks Bollywood super- an entire race. I remember Anil Kapoor telling ternational distribution and marketing. As star Priyanka Chopra’s international TV debut me that between Slumdog Millionaire and the long as it is done with dignity, there is no — finally premiered in the US and then India, TV series 24, he turned down several scripts re- shame in promoting a beautiful film like Court following a several-months-long publicity quiring him to play a stereotypical, caricatur- at the Oscars. After all, a win at the world’s blitzkrieg in both countries. ish Indian. Last year, Chopra told most-watched film awards funcOne involves a cinematic work, the other a me she absolutely would not action is every film-marketing proteleshow. One an annual occurrence, the other cept a role abroad that would fessional’s dream. on an unprecedented scale. “cater to the stereotype of what Besides, you can’t put a price What is the connection, you ask?

Indians are like”. tag on soft diplomacy.

“Worthy” is crucial There is one. It is the question that surfaces Over the years, Team Slumdog, Could there be a more effective here. The idea is not each year around the time India, like most Anil on 24, Shashi Kapoor and effort at de-exoticising India in to be a token brownother countries, chooses its Oscar entry. And Irrfan Khan in their multiple American minds than Aishwarya skinned prop in an that question is: why do we care? ventures abroad (not counting Rai responding to this question inconsequential role This year it came from one of India’s most Khan’s embarrassingly marginfrom talk-show host David Letteror to play a part in respected actors. When asked about Court’s al appearance in The Amazing Spiman in 2005: “Do you live with pigeonholing an chances at the Oscars, Naseeruddin Shah re- der-man), Om Puri in East Is East your parents? … Is that common entire race portedly said: “I don’t really care about the Os- and Nimrat Kaur in Homeland, in India for older children to live cars. Court is one of the finest films and in fact among others — sometimes with their parents?” Sweetly, yet veryto week, popular YouTube com-I playing a song about an umbrella, why can’t he make a the birth of MTV the Indipop waveRai it ushthe best film havethe released in recent times.

Indians, sometimes not withand a knife-like thrust, reered in. It gives them joylive to see resong about chicken fried rice?” edywhy channel Being after Indian uploads don’t know we hanker this Oscar — have served to unobtrusively plied: “It’sgreat fine to withthe your It’s easy to see whymost the song sparks such ex- parents, turn of the man who tunesinlike Dil videos under the theme on for Ev- remind business…

I think it should be ‘India enough some of the powerful countries because it’s gave also them common India dhadke, Aaja meri mein baith ja and ThanStand-up comic Sahil Khattreme reactions.

For starters, lyrics ‘I’m makers oferything’.

Court that the film has been liked and moneyed audiences thatthe Indians are not that we don’t havegaadi to take appointments with da thanda paani.

Speaking on the phone from telling main banda Chicken our tar roams streets of Indian mike in ETs. and muchthe appreciated in our cities, own country Youlies, know, likehu Apu fromvery The nice.

Simpsons? parents to meet for dinner.” hand, taking a straw poll on hotfried these rice, artistes’ chicken work friedonrice’ Sehgal clarifies that he never and that is what matters.”

Complementing the Hyderabad, Today, as sections of the Western mediarealuse no whose sense. internationally Equally mind- India’s ly wentremarkable away. He’s anti-rape just takenmovement his business to button topics likemight the porn As Uriah Heep haveban, said, I would like global stage make are those to tar boggling iscreations the music Hyderabad, where he hasone built a robust career freedom speechwith or Naseersaab.

Deepika to ’umbly of disagree acclaimed home-grown have video. taken the entire country with brush, there are in the south film industry.

“When I check the Padukone’s few audience is Indian culture There’s Baba from SehgalSatyajit rappingRay, in few Acceptance cleavage. from your A primary abroad, better illustrations of our social complexcomments my videos, a lot of— people bright blue and shades andNair a pink months ago, he ventured out an artiste obviously important, but unless Adoor Gopalakrishnan Mira to ities than anon Indian womanI see — Chopra telling Good morning with histo iPad and earphones to vest, director interspersed withGhaywan, random CNN.com asking, ‘How doesrun-up this guy chooses limit herself, why should anything like Neeraj in the to survive?’

Quantico:Not “Mymany Dad @shakira, youngsters have u people told knowme, that 100not songs visuals a girlawards hula-hooping, get“enough”? first-hand Wider feedback onmatters. anbe reach A global whose wonof two at 2015’sa always ‘AsI have a girl,done you over should be tried parantha withMasaan speedingand carChaitanya and a DJ — none of someone in Telugu,” he tries says,towith a laugh.

He’s even other matters. contentious topic not — rapstage It matters just to individuCannes Film Festival, Tamhane, who fit into a glass slipper. aloo jeera scored a big shatter acting role the upcoming 3D per but Baba Sehgal’s latest relation to the You als, also to societies as single, a whole, not just be- whose Court which earnedbear two any trophies at Venice should theinglass ceiling,’ and mythological Rudhramadevi.

Chicken The result wasmore money, 2014. India needs Chinese dish question.

Yet, the that’s cause a Fried largerRice. audience means more of in them, familiarising what I’mfilm trying to do.” somewhat re-several long- foreigners with song haswe over lakh that views on “I started when the popglobal scene but because polarising it translates—into who aretwo in ways a caSo please,inletearly-2000 us not “hanker” after was declining.

Sriglobal Prasad (Telugu So what’s moral of recognition, sponses ranged from shock and term benefits. reer diplomatYouTube. would find hard tothe achieve. butDevi in the village thatfilm we story?

Likepay-offs him, orare hate him, youbank can’tbalig- inhabit, music composer) asked any me to sing abesong and horror admiration.

‘Why? Why this vid- theThe Film to artistes are influential due was to the reach obvious enhanced why “should” space considI grabbed the opportunity. The song became a eo cinema. made? ItAnd is pure torture,” girl ances nore Baba of so, every timescreeched an Indianafilm and Sehgal. exposure for Indian artistes. Less ered “enough”?

Sehgal’s base effect: can bethe divided into of two after watching it. aAnother guy cheerfully artiste speaks on platform inwho another coun- obvious is fan another potential a super-duper hit. The crowd started relating to mm called vetticad authorsinger’. of The Adventures me and meis the ‘power All these head-banged the entire rap, loved what he country’s groups. His mosttostaunch supporters try, she has thetoopportunity to demystify India cinema make the culture of were that anna t@annavetticad an Intrepid Film you Criticsee south remakes in Bollywood — Singraised inattractive the ’90s and have vividUS memories of of heard.

“I little reallybit enjoyed it.Every If Rihanna canIndian make country just that abroad. time an to the world. embassies

e d u d u h n i Ma e Q c i n very

Like him or hate him, Baba Sehgal cannot be ignored as he storms the internet, one crazy tweet at a time

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ham and Kick — I’ve done the original soundtrack. They are mostly the entry song of the hero,” he says.

Before it became completely overrun by Bollywood, the Indian music industry had space for Indipop artistes too. Their sound was distinctly different, more contemporary, hip and westernised. Dabbling in rap, Sehgal stood out amongst his peers for pretty much the same reasons he does today — his whacky lyrics and videos. In 1992, his Dil dhadke premiered on MTV Asia. “Baba Sehgal is legendary. He was as big as Honey Singh is today. He is the only one who thought, ‘I’m not okay with this disappearance’ and has made an effort to come back. And everybody still remembers him,” says Khattar.

The other group of fans are way younger, and hence have no nostalgic attachment to

rapper.

I taketomy work seriously.sensibility I like to talk ly intended bring a different to about simple thingsartists whichwill people to. curating, because see relate curation paratha,” he Look at what saying in Aloo through theirI’m own practice as ka artists.

At least ka paratha says, and belts outapproaching the lines “Aloo that is how I am it, and I think bhaalo, usmethe thoda malai artist-curators daalo, phir kis have baat that is how previous mil kar saare in khaalo ka jhagda baby, approached it. Your concerns your khaalo”. practice He repeats thisconcerns time slowly, emphasise Gift of the gab often defineit,your as a to curator.

I also then gives detailed explanaFrom a young age, Sehgal had two talents — he each see word. myselfHe open to asuggestions and of the lyrics, which is equally puzzling. was quick with words and could speak really tion collaborations. fast — both of which he has used optimally. “Not too many people know you add malai toyou, alooaskaanparatha.

You have tell “Words just come naturally to me. I could be (cream) So how do artist, see what youtoare the previous night, ‘please sitting in an aircraft or partying with my your doingdoodhwala differently from a regular curator and doodh leke (please bring friends, I just Tweet when a thought comes to bhains also thekacurators whoaao came before you,buffalo like When you wake up in the my head,” he says. He offers a telling example milk Jitishtomorrow)’.

Kallat, Bose and Komu? the thick is cream of the milk is of how he’s struck by these flashes of inspira- morning, Well, the intention not toon betop different for the and different. if you put As that in the paratha, it tion. “Recently I wrote ‘Bar mein daaru hain, the sakemalai, of being I mentioned, I am car mein Charu hain, Telugu mein how have tastes I’veown shown these visuals inpractice the vidguidedyum. by my multidisciplinary you been is ela unnaru.’ Basically, I was in Hyd- eo.

I know withbeen theseinformed things,” as an artist,people whichidentify has always erabad and was going out with a friend who is he says. art disciplines like music, theatre and by other Clearly,Asheahas a point. cinema. curator I intend to bring these disciplines into conversation with each other.

D-I-Y star as bringing together the different I see myself A fortnight ago, Sehgal was perform streams and tributaries to invited make atoriver that at the Hyderabad chapter of ComicCon. will finally flow out to the sea.

I use these “Baba metahas repositioned as a comic star. phors because of himself the maritime nature of We Kojust wanted to have port someofsilly and his chi as an important call;fun, there is the content fell into right and demographic,” exgreat historic pastthe of Kochi the contempoplains of ComicCon rary lifeJatin thatVarma, informsfounder my practice, and thatin is India.

Sehgal performed two days, belting guiding my decisions as aon curator. out all his latest tracks. “It was great fun. The hall completely packed and everybody How was are you drawing in these different knew the words to his songs,” Varma adds. influences?

Sehgal concedes he owes to this renewed interCurrently I have travelled seven different ciest to weeks the digital In fact, his tiesininhim two andrevolution. it’s quite mind-bogadvice upcoming to exploit the gling. Ito have been to artistes Brazil inisSouth America social media a business point what of view. and five citiesfrom in Europe, exploring in“Rather thancuratorial spending on making Travel a song,isand forms their practices. algoing to abest company to make video that they ways the exposure.

I am aalso speaking to will release their convenience, is better people fromatdifferent streams initIndia, buttoI make own video andyet upload wouldyour not mention names since it it’son in Youvery Tube for stages. free. I call myself a D-I-Y star,” he says. nascent The videos for Sehgal’s songs are cost-effective fuss-free.

Oncesupport he noticed Howand do you feel about andthat people Going to the gym, he were pickingfrom up the track intervention the government, which has Looking ahead Sudarshan Shetty, artist-curator for Kochi Muziris Biennale 2016 aby p robin quickly called a friend homearea andfor shot the vidbeen a bit of a controversial the KMB? eo his iPhone.

In two hours it was ready. of It Weon would only welcome the involvement shows Sehgal sitting at his dining table,and which the state government; their support enis laden with food. is interspersed incouragement in anThis event like the KMBwith is cruexplicable of will a lady — a friend of Sehcial. I hopeimages that they continue to support gal’s — not seductively blow-drying her hair.

In us, and just financially but in spirit.

In fact, Aloo ka paratha, see Sehgal standing onMinthe we have had verywe positive feedback from wing of Culture an aircraft, his head and ister for KC Joseph.

He expanding went on record contracting like a balloon.

“I handleto allKerala’s the edto say that the KMB has contributed iting work myself. and I’m quite quick at it. If I’m culture, tourism hospitality industries Flitter, flutter (From left) Rapper-actor Baba Sehgal, stand-up comic Tanmay Bhat, and MTV VJ Hoezaay swap notes on their tweeting prowess at the not good I cancultural change myself and andlooking renewed India’s position inalso the #RiseWithTwitter event organised by the microblogging giant on Social Media Day shashi ashiwal the girls in the video. I know how to make my world. his previous work. Their interest in him is sole- a Telugu guy and his wife is Charu. So it just face big and then burst it,” he says. At the end ly based on his inimitable Twitter presence. happened.” of is slated to Government perform at NH7 Arethis youyear, at allSehgal worried that the in There have been other Punjabi rappers like Weekender, With gems like ‘Chappal chhoti ho jaaye toh the biggest multi-city general seems to country’s be a bit hostile towards the pao main nahin aati, biwi moti ho jaaye toh Yo Yo Honey Singh and Baadshah who have music which boasts art andfestival culture institutes, whatperformers with the like baahon main nahi aati (The slipper cannot fit found success in the intervening years. But AR Rahman, The Ghalat The Raghu Dixcurrent agitations at theFamily, Delhi College of Art an overgrown foot; my arms cannot get Sehgal politely distances himself from them. it Project and Mark Ronson.

It goesofwithout and the Film and Television Institute India? says heKiran feels strongly about using behen He around myat overweight wife)in and ‘Saif ki that Sehgal is sentiments undoubtedly Hoskote, Nadar, Jyoti Basu andlanguage gallerist saying t was a grand party Delhi’s swanky, On a personal level my lie the withodd the is distasteful orname degrading women.

He man is Soha, is loha, breakfast mein hari that out inI this line-up.

But Vijay Nair,demands founder Shireen Gandhy, to a few.toI am excited, butiron hidden fromaaj view, Indigo on Golden students, support them in their only one ground rule while chutney poha’ scattered by the minute, he has of Only Much Louder, the compaMileaur that artist-curator Sudarshan Shetty, honoured, and surprised that I and I am totally sympathetic to “I always to think has the ny that organises festival, have been chosenwant to curate the 54,Twitter had hisgeneration first formalhooked outingto as his theevery cura- writing. their cause.

However,the as the curahe reveals. So far, that word.

Besides randomBiennale thoughts, he ussaysofthat hea tries to tor of the nexttyping Kochi Muziris (KMB).

A weird,” next Biennale. tor KMBevery I haveyear to do balances his account to promote his latest videosartist and mantra has worked wonders for bring an be actmore that falls someglobally-renowned multidisciplinary ing actinand diplomatic Rather than going to a His curated first bigbefore? song earlier occasionally write togroup international popunder stars. him. where comedyand andovermuHave you with many solo and exhibitions to ironbetween out the creases I see myself company, it is better yearwill begged question ‘Good morning @shakira, have uoftried parasic. Inany thehurdles past, this his belt, Shetty has the distinction being the this No, this be mythe first-ever cucome thatincluded we may astobringing together make your own you going to the “I the different streams encounter ntha aloo jeera?’ is one to such. performances by comedy group ration and, frankly, it is gym?’ going to only with Indian commissioned create a public ‘Are during our process of video and upload it on and uploaded it There isin a method toshy thisand madness, says. made AIB andup stand-up comic Vir Das’s sculpture Japan. The reticentheShetty be a the big song learning experience, setting the KMB. and tributaries to YouTube for free SoundCloud andlooking more than “The bestsay part about digital is that you don’t on band Alien Chutney. “I’m sure Bawhich I am really fordid not much to the gathering at Indigo, make a river that need money.

Even if you makehis a selfie ba Sehgal is going to see havethe one of ward to.downloads happened in even as they strained to catch everyvideo, word 10,000 Finally, where do you will finally flow people connect it. general Look at hubbub. that Superwomthe largest as it wafted overtothe We cor- two days. Now I hear the song is KMB going? turnouts,” he says out to the sea played in artists gyms across an girl.him She’slater got millions of followers. confidence.

“I think the kids As a policy, only can be cinered for a sneak peek intoWhat the being Iwith see it as an international venue I went anKMB. aerobic in Jamshedpur are really excited does do? She’s nobody thingsshe to come at the digging next KMB.her nose, and ties. curators ofto the Do centre you feel for artsbecause and ideas wherehas oneever can people were dancing to it. My next track seen him play showing what’s coming out. And people are where live.

You alltoknow about him, that artists look at things look forward it becoming an about Mumbai ka vada pav which, I think, you’ve seen his loving it,” hebecome says. Sehgal had been onnext social is videos, and obviously Twitdifferently from, say, people How did you the curator of the important event, not juston nationin discotheques also,” he says. media for a long whilein but didn’t realise ter storm.

A couple of drinksart down, I just whoplay engage with art theory?

Kochi Muziris Biennale December 2016?how will allyhe’s butaalso on the international calendar; Going to gym know He quickly effective it could be till a by sillythe tweet like ‘Gayle it isjust going tobiennales, be hilarious.” when followed KMB first up happened onthe DecemWell, I was approached director Bose I think, through two the KMB has acother singles paratha, Snoop is like a whale’ during an IPL match him with One doesn’t to of wait December to (Krishnamachari) and secretary Riyasgot (Komu) ber 12, 2012, Bose like and Aloo Riyaskaenvisioned it as quired the rolehave of one thetill most important and, most Mujhe WiFi chahiye, several re-tweets within seconds. a 15- Baba he’s right. of the KMB, and screened by the 10“Even members something that recently, was driven by artists, for art- know exhibitions globally. whichishewhy uploaded on his chanyear-old may not board. be doing muchcomprises research all on their advisory Theasboard ists,ofwhich there was thisYouTube emphasis on chaudhuri Babaonly Sehgal Entertainment. sincere mohini georgina maddox is a Delhi-based art writer on social media I do,”Amar he says wistfully.

“I nel having artists as curators. It“I’m wasadefiniteBharti Kher, Atul as Dodiya, Kanwar, Ranjit have a verified account so I come to know who has been visiting my page. A lot of stars from Bollywood have viewed my tweets. Many of them have been used in Comedy Nights (with Kapil).”

Art’s own port of call

Sudarshan Shetty outlines his creative vision as curator for the next Kochi Muziris Biennale

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Step by step Idols of Durga and two of her children — Saraswati and Kartik — at a workshop

Waiting for Durga Delhi prepares for the arrival of the goddess

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Clay art Artisans bring the material for the idols from Bengal

anik Pal hasn’t slept well in over two months. Durga Puja starts in less than two weeks, and every second is precious for the idol maker, who is in his early or mid 40s. Born in Nadia district in West Bengal, Pal — like many other kumors (potters) from the state — is in charge of decking up pandals in Delhi’s Chittaranjan (CR) Park. Work on the idols of Durga, her consort Shiva, children Ganesh, Kartik, Lakshmi and Saraswati, and Mahishasura is in full swing. The Chandralok Cinema Complex in the neighbourhood becomes Pal’s workshop for three months every year. Work starts on Rath Yatra, the day the potters perform the kathamo (frame) puja. A lump of black clay is smeared on straw to mark the beginning.

Pal and the other artisans also build idols for pandals outside Delhi, including Punjab, Rajasthan, Himachal Pradesh and Jammu & Kashmir. There are orders from the UK and the

US as well. Idols for overseas clients are shipped at least a month before the festival. According to Govind Nath, the head artisan at Kalibari, a CR Park landmark, potters earn anything between ₹10,000 and ₹50,000 per order. The final touches are always kept for Mahalaya (an auspicious day about seven days before the pujas). This is the day the potters paint Durga’s eyes, in a ritual called chokkhudaan (literally ‘gifting of the eyes’).

The potters are not the only ones working hard. Tailors, especially blouse makers, are toiling round-the-clock. Restaurants are gearing up for the endless nights of biryanis, chicken rolls and fish fry. Quizzers are brushing up their general knowledge for the pre-Puja contests at the pandals. Singers and dancers — both amateurs and professionals — are rehearsing for their evening shows. partha pratim sharma

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All hands on deck The scene at Kalibari, a landmark in Chittaranjan Park

Action point Most potters make the deserted Chandralok complex their home for the three months of idol making

Mighty numbers An artisan can get up to 50 orders from pandals across India and even abroad

Dress me up This is a busy season for tailoring shops

Final cut A blouse-maker in action

Festive beats Dance and music programmes are Durga Puja ďŹ xtures. An evening at Kalibari

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Role call Priyanka Chopra in a promotional photoshoot for the new television drama Quantico, in which she is Alex Parrish, the protagonist new york times/ alexi hobbs; (right) Slumdog Millionaire star Anil Kapoor as agent Jai Singh Rathod in 24, an Indian adaptation of the hit international series afp/punit paranjpe

FILM FATALE

It matters, Naseersaab “I don’t know why we hanker after this Oscar business,” says Naseeruddin Shah. Yes, let us not “hanker”, but let us not be dismissive of a global stage either

anna mm vetticad

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wo important — seemingly unrelat- star performs in an overseas production that and businesses — from clothing chains to pized — events occurred on the Indian is worthy of her stature at home, she could en- za joints and fried chicken — owe much to Holentertainment scene in the past dear India just that little bit more to people of lywood, which has been America’s most month. First, the National Award- other nations. effective brand ambassador across the globe. winning Marathi film Court was selected as In“Worthy” is crucial here. The idea is not to This is why it is important for India’s film india’s entry for the race to the Best Foreign Lan- be a token brown-skinned prop in an inconse- dustries not to have a frog-in-the-well attitude, guage Film Oscar next year. And Quantico — the quential role or to play a part in pigeonholing but to work hard towards improving their inAmerican serial that marks Bollywood super- an entire race. I remember Anil Kapoor telling ternational distribution and marketing. As star Priyanka Chopra’s international TV debut me that between Slumdog Millionaire and the long as it is done with dignity, there is no — finally premiered in the US and then India, TV series 24, he turned down several scripts re- shame in promoting a beautiful film like Court following a several-months-long publicity quiring him to play a stereotypical, caricatur- at the Oscars. After all, a win at the world’s blitzkrieg in both countries. ish Indian. Last year, Chopra told most-watched film awards funcOne involves a cinematic work, the other a me she absolutely would not action is every film-marketing proteleshow. One an annual occurrence, the other cept a role abroad that would fessional’s dream. on an unprecedented scale. “cater to the stereotype of what Besides, you can’t put a price What is the connection, you ask?

Indians are like”. tag on soft diplomacy.

“Worthy” is crucial There is one. It is the question that surfaces Over the years, Team Slumdog, Could there be a more effective here. The idea is not each year around the time India, like most Anil on 24, Shashi Kapoor and effort at de-exoticising India in to be a token brownother countries, chooses its Oscar entry. And Irrfan Khan in their multiple American minds than Aishwarya skinned prop in an that question is: why do we care? ventures abroad (not counting Rai responding to this question inconsequential role This year it came from one of India’s most Khan’s embarrassingly marginfrom talk-show host David Letteror to play a part in respected actors. When asked about Court’s al appearance in The Amazing Spiman in 2005: “Do you live with pigeonholing an chances at the Oscars, Naseeruddin Shah re- der-man), Om Puri in East Is East your parents? … Is that common entire race portedly said: “I don’t really care about the Os- and Nimrat Kaur in Homeland, in India for older children to live cars. Court is one of the finest films and in fact among others — sometimes with their parents?” Sweetly, yet veryto week, popular YouTube com-I aplaying song about an umbrella, why can’t he make a the birth of MTV the Indipop waveRai it ushthe best film havethe released in recent times.

Indians, sometimes not withand a knife-like thrust, reered in. It gives them joylive to see the reabout chicken fried rice?” edy why channel Being after Indian uploads don’t know we hanker this Oscar song — have served to unobtrusively plied: “It’sgreat fine to with your It’s easy to see whymost the song sparkscountries such ex- turn of the man who tunesinlike Dil videos under the theme on for Ev- remind business…

I think it should be ‘India enough some of the powerful parents, because it’s gave also them common India mein baith ja and ThanStand-up comic Sahil Khatreactions.

For starters, lyrics ‘I’m makers oferything’.

Court that the film has been liked treme and moneyed audiences thatthe Indians are not dhadke, that we Aaja don’tmeri havegaadi to take appointments with paani.

Speaking on the phone from main banda Chicken da tar streets of Indian mike in telling androams muchthe appreciated in our cities, own country ETs. Youlies, know, likehu Apu fromvery The nice.

Simpsons? ourthanda parents to meet for dinner.” hand, taking a straw poll on hotfried rice, chicken work friedonrice’ Sehgal clarifies that he never and that is what matters.”

Complementing these artistes’ the Hyderabad, Today, as sections of the Western mediarealuse no whose sense. internationally Equally mind- ly wentremarkable away. He’s anti-rape just takenmovement his business to button topics likemight the porn As Uriah Heep haveban, said, I would like global stage make are those India’s to tar boggling iscreations the music where he hasone builtbrush, a robust career freedom speechwith or Naseersaab.

Deepika to ’umblyof disagree acclaimed home-grown have video. taken Hyderabad, the entire country with there are south film industry.

“When I check the Padukone’s few audience is Indian culture There’s Baba from SehgalSatyajit rappingRay, in in Acceptancecleavage. from your Aprimary abroad, fewthe better illustrations of our social complexmy videos, I see a lot of— people bright blue and shades andNair a pink months he ventured out an artiste obviouslyago, important, but unless Adoor Gopalakrishnan Mira to comments ities than anon Indian woman — Chopra telling Good morning with histo iPad and earphones to vest, director interspersed withGhaywan, random asking, ‘How doesrun-up this guy chooses limit herself, why should anything like Neeraj CNN.com in the tosurvive?’

Quantico:Not “Mymany Dad @shakira, youngsters have u that‘AsI have 100not songs visuals a girlawards hula-hooping, get first-hand Wider feedback onmatters. anbe “enough”? reach A global whose wonof two at 2015’sa people always know told me, a girl,done you over should be tried parantha withMasaan speedingand carChaitanya and a DJ — none of in Telugu,” he tries says, to with a laugh.

He’s even other contentious topic not — rapstage matters.

It matters just to individuCannes Film Festival, Tamhane, someone who fit into a glass slipper. aloo jeera a big acting the upcoming 3D per Baba Sehgal’s latest relation to the scored als, but also to societies as single, a whole, not just be- whose Court which earnedbear twoany trophies at Venice You should shatterrole theinglass ceiling,’ and Rudhramadevi.

Chicken The result wasmore money, 2014. India needs Chinese dish question.

Yet, the mythological cause a Fried largerRice. audience means more of in them, familiarising that’s what I’mfilm trying to do.” somewhat re- several long- foreigners with song haswe over lakh that viewsa caon “I early-2000 when the popglobal scene but because polarising it translates—into who aretwo in ways Sostarted please,inlet us not “hanker” after declining.

Sriglobal Prasadvillage (Telugu So what’s moral of was sponses ranged from shock and term benefits. reer diplomatYouTube. would find hard tothe achieve. recognition, butDevi in the thatfilm we story?

Likepay-offs him, or are hate him, youbank can’tbalig- music composer) asked any me to sing abesong and horror admiration.

‘Why? Why this vid- theThe Film to artistes are influential duewas to the reach obvious enhanced inhabit, why “should” space considgrabbed the opportunity. The song became a eo made? ItAnd is pure torture,” girl nore of cinema. so, every timescreeched an Indianafilm ancesBaba andSehgal. exposure for Indian artistes. Less Iered “enough”?

Sehgal’s base effect: can bethe divided into of twoa super-duper hit. The crowd started relating to after watching it. aAnother guy cheerfully artiste speaks on platform inwho another coun- obvious is fan another potential mm called vetticad the authorsinger’. of The Adventures me and meis ‘power All these head-banged the entire rap, loved what he groups. mosttostaunch supporters try, she has thetoopportunity to demystify India country’sHis cinema make the culture ofwere that anna t@annavetticad an Intrepid Film you Criticsee south remakes in Bollywood — Singinattractive the ’90s and have vividUS memories of of heard.

“I really enjoyed it. Every If Rihanna canIndian make raised just that little bit abroad. time an country to the world. embassies

e d u d u h n i Ma e Q c i n very

Like him or hate him, Baba Sehgal cannot be ignored as he storms the internet, one crazy tweet at a time

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ham and Kick — I’ve done the original soundtrack. They are mostly the entry song of the hero,” he says.

Before it became completely overrun by Bollywood, the Indian music industry had space for Indipop artistes too. Their sound was distinctly different, more contemporary, hip and westernised. Dabbling in rap, Sehgal stood out amongst his peers for pretty much the same reasons he does today — his whacky lyrics and videos. In 1992, his Dil dhadke premiered on MTV Asia. “Baba Sehgal is legendary. He was as big as Honey Singh is today. He is the only one who thought, ‘I’m not okay with this disappearance’ and has made an effort to come back. And everybody still remembers him,” says Khattar.

The other group of fans are way younger, and hence have no nostalgic attachment to

rapper.

I taketomy work seriously.sensibility I like to talk ly intended bring a different to about simple thingsartists whichwill people to. curating, because see relate curation paratha,” he Look at what saying in Aloo through theirI’m own practice as ka artists.

At least ka paratha says, and belts outapproaching the lines “Aloo that is how I am it, and I think bhaalo, usmethe thoda malaiartist-curators daalo, phir kis have baat that is how previous mil concerns kar saare in khaalo khaalo”. ka jhagda baby, approached it. Your your practice He repeats thisconcerns time slowly, to emphasise Gift of the gab often defineit,your as a curator.

I also then gives detailed explanaFrom a young age, Sehgal had two talents — he each see word. myselfHe open to asuggestions and of the lyrics, which is equally puzzling. was quick with words and could speak really tion collaborations. fast — both of which he has used optimally. “Not too many people know you add malai toyou, alooaska You have tell “Words just come naturally to me. I could be (cream) So how do anparatha. artist, see what youtoare the previous night, ‘please sitting in an aircraft or partying with my your doingdoodhwala differently from a regular curator and doodh leke (please bring friends, I just Tweet when a thought comes to bhains also theka curators whoaao came before you,buffalo like When you wake up in the my head,” he says. He offers a telling example milk Jitish tomorrow)’.

Kallat, Bose and Komu? the thickis cream of the milk is of how he’s struck by these flashes of inspira- morning, Well, the intention not toon betop different for the and different. if you put As that in the paratha, it tion. “Recently I wrote ‘Bar mein daaru hain, the sakemalai, of being I mentioned, I am car mein Charu hain, Telugu mein how have tastes I’veown shown these visuals inpractice the vidguidedyum. by my multidisciplinary you been is ela unnaru.’ Basically, I was in Hyd- eo.

I know withbeen theseinformed things,” as an artist,people whichidentify has always erabad and was going out with a friend who is he says. art disciplines like music, theatre and by other Clearly,Asheahas a point. cinema. curator I intend to bring these disciplines into conversation with each other.

D-I-Y star as bringing together the different I see myself A fortnight ago, Sehgal was perform streams and tributaries to invited make atoriver that at the Hyderabad chapter of ComicCon. will finally flow out to the sea.

I use these “Baba metahas repositioned as a comic star.

We phors because of himself the maritime nature of Kojust wanted to have port someofsilly and his chi as an important call;fun, there is the content fell into right and demographic,” exgreat historic pastthe of Kochi the contempoplains of ComicCon rary lifeJatin thatVarma, informsfounder my practice, and that in is India.

Sehgal performed two days, belting guiding my decisions as aon curator. out all his latest tracks. “It was great fun. The hall completely and everybody How was are you drawing inpacked these different knew the words to his songs,” Varma adds. influences?

Sehgal concedes he owes to this renewed interCurrently I have travelled seven different ciest the digital In fact, his tiesininhim twoto weeks and revolution. it’s quite mind-bogadvice upcoming to exploit the gling. Ito have been to artistes Brazil inisSouth America social media a business point what of view. and five citiesfrom in Europe, exploring in“Rather thancuratorial spending on makingTravel a song,isand forms their practices. algoing to abest company to make video that they ways the exposure.

I am aalso speaking to will release their convenience, is better people fromatdifferent streams initIndia, buttoI make own video andyet upload it on Youwouldyour not mention names since it’s in very Tube for stages. free. I call myself a D-I-Y star,” he says. nascent The videos for Sehgal’s songs are cost-effective fuss-free.

Oncesupport he noticed Howand do you feel about andthat people Going to the gym, he were pickingfrom up the intervention thetrack government, which has Looking ahead Sudarshan Shetty, artist-curator for Kochi Muziris Biennale 2016 aby p robin quickly called a friend homearea andfor shot vidbeen a bit of a controversial thethe KMB? eo his iPhone.

In two hours it was ready.of It Weon would only welcome the involvement shows Sehgal sitting at his dining table,and which the state government; their support enis laden with food. is interspersed incouragement in anThis event like the KMBwith is cruexplicable of will a lady — a friend of Sehcial. I hopeimages that they continue to support gal’s — not seductively blow-drying her hair.

In us, and just financially but in spirit.

In fact, Aloo ka paratha, see Sehgal standing onMinthe we have had verywe positive feedback from wing of Culture an aircraft, his head and ister for KC Joseph.

He expanding went on record contracting like a balloon.

“I handleto allKerala’s the edto say that the KMB has contributed iting work myself.and I’m quite quick at it. If I’m culture, tourism hospitality industries Flitter, flutter (From left) Rapper-actor Baba Sehgal, stand-up comic Tanmay Bhat, and MTV VJ Hoezaay swap notes on their tweeting prowess at the not good I cancultural change myself and andlooking renewed India’s position inalso the #RiseWithTwitter event organised by the microblogging giant on Social Media Day shashi ashiwal the girls in the video. I know how to make my world. his previous work. Their interest in him is sole- a Telugu guy and his wife is Charu. So it just face big and then burst it,” he says. At the end ly based on his inimitable Twitter presence. happened.” of is slated to Government perform at NH7 Arethis youyear, at allSehgal worried that the in There have been other Punjabi rappers like Weekender, With gems like ‘Chappal chhoti ho jaaye toh the biggest multi-city general seems to country’s be a bit hostile towards the pao main nahin aati, biwi moti ho jaaye toh Yo Yo Honey Singh and Baadshah who have music which boasts art andfestival culture institutes, whatperformers with the like baahon main nahi aati (The slipper cannot fit found success in the intervening years. But AR Rahman, The Ghalat The Raghu Dixcurrent agitations at theFamily, Delhi College of Art an overgrown foot; my arms cannot get Sehgal politely distances himself from them. it Project and Mark Ronson.

It goesofwithout and the Film and Television Institute India? says heKiran feels strongly about using behen He around myat overweight wife)inand ‘Saif ki that Sehgal is sentiments undoubtedly the odd Hoskote, Nadar, Jyoti Basu andlanguage gallerist saying t was a grand party Delhi’s swanky, On a personal level my lie with the is distasteful orname degrading women.

He man is Soha, is loha, breakfast mein hari that out inI this line-up.

But Vijay Nair,demands founder Shireen Gandhy, to a few.toI am excited, butiron hidden fromaaj view, Indigo on Golden students, support them in their only one ground rule that whileI chutney poha’ scattered Sudarshan by the minute, he has of Only Much Louder, the compaMileaur that artist-curator Shetty, honoured, and surprised and I am totally sympathetic to “I always to think has the ny that organises festival, have been chosenwant to curate the 54,Twitter had hisgeneration first formalhooked outing to as his theevery cura- writing. their cause.

However,the as the curahe reveals. So far, that word.

Besides randomBiennale thoughts, he ussaysofthat hea tries to tor of the next typing Kochi Muziris (KMB).

A weird,” next Biennale. tor KMBevery I haveyear to do balances his account to promote his latest videosartist and mantra has worked wonders for bring an be actmore that diplomatic falls someglobally-renowned multidisciplinary ing actinand Rather than going to a His curated first bigbefore? song earlier occasionally write togroup international popunder stars. him. where comedyand andovermuHave you with many solo and exhibitions to iron between out the creases I see myself company, it is better yearwill begged question ‘Good @shakira, have uoftried parasic. Inany thehurdles past, this his belt,morning Shetty has the distinction being the this No, this be mythe first-ever cucome that included we may astobringing together make your own you going to the “I the different streams encounter ntha with aloo jeera?’ is one to such. performances by comedy group ration and, frankly, it is gym?’ going to only Indian commissioned create a public ‘Are during our process of video and upload it on the song and uploaded it There isin a method toshy thisand madness, says. made AIB andup stand-up comic Vir Das’s sculpture Japan. The reticentheShetty be a big learning experience, setting the KMB. and tributaries to YouTube for free SoundCloud andlooking more than “The best part about digital is that at youIndigo, don’t on band Alien Chutney. “I’m sure Bawhich I am really fordid not say much to the gathering make a river that need money.

Even if you makehis a selfie ba Sehgal is going to see have one of ward to.downloads happened in even as they strained to catch everyvideo, word 10,000 Finally, where do you the will finally flow people connect it. general Look at hubbub. that Superwomthe largest as it wafted overtothe We cor- two days. Now I hear the song is KMB going? turnouts,” he says out to the sea played in artists gyms across an girl.him She’slater got millions of followers. confidence.

“I think the kids As a policy, only can be cinered for a sneak peek intoWhat the being Iwith see it as an international venue I went anKMB. aerobic does do? She’s nobody thingsshe to come at the digging next KMB.her nose, and ties. curators ofto the Do centre you feelin Jamshedpur are really excited for artsbecause and ideas wherehas oneever can people were dancing to it. My next track seen him play showing what’s coming out. And people are where live.

You alltoknow about him, that artists look at things look forward it becoming an about Mumbai ka vada pav which, I think, you’ve seen his loving hebecome says. Sehgal had been onnext social is videos, and obviously Twitdifferently from, say, people How didit,” you the curator of the important event, not juston nationin discotheques also,” he says. media for a long whilein but didn’t realise ter storm.

A couple of drinksart down, I just whoplay engage with art theory?

Kochi Muziris Biennale December 2016? how will allyhe’s butaalso on the international calendar; Going to gym know He quickly followed effective it could be till a by sillythe tweet like ‘Gayle it isjust going be hilarious.” when KMB first up happened onthe DecemWell, I was approached director Bose I think, through twotobiennales, the KMB has acother like Aloo paratha, Snoop is like a whale’ during an IPL match him with One doesn’t toofwait December to (Krishnamachari) and secretary Riyasgot (Komu) ber 12, 2012,singles Bose and Riyaskaenvisioned it as quired the rolehave of one thetill most important and, most recently, Mujhe WiFi chahiye, several re-tweets within seconds. a 15- Baba he’s right. of the KMB, and screened by the 10“Even members something that was driven by artists, for art- know exhibitions globally. whichishewhy uploaded on his chanyear-old may not board. be doing muchcomprises research all on their advisory Theasboard ists,ofwhich there was thisYouTube emphasis on chaudhuri Baba Sehgal Entertainment. sincere mohini georgina maddox is a Delhi-based art writer on social media as I do,”Amar he says wistfully.

“I nel having only artists as curators. It“I’m wasadefiniteBharti Kher, Atul Dodiya, Kanwar, Ranjit have a verified account so I come to know who has been visiting my page. A lot of stars from Bollywood have viewed my tweets. Many of them have been used in Comedy Nights (with Kapil).”

Art’s own port of call

Sudarshan Shetty outlines his creative vision as curator for the next Kochi Muziris Biennale

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EXTRACT COSMOPOLIS

Small new To liveplaces, a hero’s lifecountries Hari finds himself on life’s backburner andand decides make amends by getting ThereMajestic are many things common between Indians PuertotoRicans — a history of acolonialism, job that willreverence make himfor a class act idols, and a taste for dhania patta. In truth, they are worlds apart alphabetical order, of course. Just the other day, he too had been an unemployed drifter, struggling to find a job, but now, all of a sudden, he was a professional full-time hero and the director of a detective agency.

Here on the rooftop of an old brick shed in a slum, spending the afternoon spying on a beautiful woman, he had plenty of time to think things through. It had all started a week ago and his thoughts meandered back to that momentous day when everything changed.

kanishk tharoor

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n August, I travelled to Puerto Rico, an equally beautiful and troubled island in the Caribbean. I had recently read Jamaica Kincaid’s A Small Place, a memoir about her own Caribbean island of Antigua, in which she savages tourists. Her words reverberated still. “An ugly thing, that is what you are when you become a tourist, an ugly empty thing, a stupid thing.” In her reckoning, a The second book the Hari Majestic series,she tourist is a kind ofin moral monster.

Locals, Zac O’Yeah’s – A Hero for Hire,tourist, is a writes, resent Hari the privileges of the comic detective thriller in which Hari “your ability to leave your own banality and opens hisyour ownability detective agency and invites boredom, to turn their own banalwhole lot of trouble. ityaand boredom into a source of pleasure for yourself.”

Prologue If I’m honest, only a smidgen of guilt enHari Majestic felt like an unadulterated hero.I croached upon the pleasures of Puerto Rico.

He deafening explosions and asmelt was heard there on honeymoon with my wife, Pueracrid smoke. was ready save the(which world, is if to Rican bornHe and raised into New York it should turn outPuerto to be necessary. home to so many Ricans that some conTheitfestival season was and Bengasider an outcropping of peaking the island itself).

Its luru was, irresistible as usual, being blown into bits.rum, The joys were and constant: good good thing with the racket was that500-yearnobody shimmering bioluminescent bays, paid much attention to long two men abanold cobbled streets, the viewson of an weather doned and Triplex had driftingrooftop. west fromHari the Lesser Antilles too and dapbought that they threw down to crepling thecrackers sea. ateAabox-shaped smokescreen.

Theyofwere island just pros. under four milThe October air was Triplex, Hari’s lion people, Puerto Ricocool is anbut “unincorporated second-in-command, was sweating.

Given territory” of the United States.

Its residents, that normal citizens, attentionhave spanno never exceedwhilehis American meaningful ed three seconds,inheWashington. had been remarkably forepresentation At the mocused change.teeters on the precipice of ment, for thea island ‘Damn hot,’and saidfinancial Triplex. ruin (it is often bankruptcy ‘What’s hot?’ asked Hari, pretending to called “the Greece of the Caribbean”).

The only mend a cable hanging limply fromisatourism. coconut industry of any remaining vitality palm.

When Kincaid wrote A Small Place in the late Triplex a small camera at the squat 1980s, sheaimed was imagining the mostly white Eupink hutand across theAmericans lane. Using thecame digital ropeans North who to zoom framed close-upofofthe theCaribbean woman taksprawlhe upon the abeaches — ing down laundry.

It was possible make out “incredibly unattractive, fat, topastrylikedetails fine Rico as her fleshed.”asPuerto has eyelashes. no shortage‘Majestic, of those you’ve gotittoissee this!’ now, but also full of Indian tourists. We ‘What?’

It waseverywhere: afternoon and Hari was sufran into Indians there in spandex

How to Get a Hero’s Job Buildings were like people. Sometimes a modest exterior concealed the scariest things and vice versa. ‘Take this one for example,’ Mr Majestic said to himself.

From across the busy street it looked like a humble and homely building. The threestorey box of monsoon-worn concrete could Island with a view have belonged to any middle class part of In Puerto Rico, joys are town, but for the record irresistible it stood aand short motorbike ride west of Bengaluru railway constant. City Seen here, a station in Rajaji Nagar – awoman vast area of corn shops, feeding to pigeons in the city a random offices and small-scale industries, Old San Juan sprinkling of temples toof improve your life, ap/ricardo arduengo hospitals that claimed to cure anything, including death if that was what you suffered outfits renting mountain bikes, there spank- from, public crematorium if you didn’t duskyand San aJuan this summer — its clutter of ing their naughty children on the street cor- survive despitepalm taking every precaution. water towers, fronds, peeling rooftops, ners of Old San Juan, there amid the poetry bright Hari flowering Majestic scanned the Ioffice building’s trees — I felt was looking out shelves of a bookshop, there warily eyeing a facade again but it bore no imminent at Kolkata, my mother’s city,signs in itsofown amber plate of mashed plantains. Travel to Puerto Ri- threat. hour ofOne cow just dust.couldn’t tell. He was used to co allows US-based NRIs the luxury of going weird and creepy But entering But things the experience of places. travel and tourism somewhere without the rigmarole of apply- police stations establishments can have a sneakyand wayrelated of reaffirming what we a-r-t/shutterstock. ing for a visa. They come in droves and are a fa- made him queasyabout without fail, since never want to believe ourselves.

At he best, we miliar sight for locals. knew he was to come out a free man. can tryifnot to begoing “stupid” as Kincaid describes, fering from aRican bad headache, which made In Puerto Spanish, all Indians arehim re- to The motorcycle’s engine cooled slid be attentive travellers, careful inand ourhe judgeirritable, buthindús in another couple hours the off ferred to as or indios de laofIndia (“Indiafterwilling padlocking his military style ments, to observe.

It would be helmet foolish sun mercifully downconfusion the horizon.

It to the ans would from India”).

Thisslip avoids with handleparallels bar. The late monsoon reinterpret as real bonds,wasn’t to overhad been a painful day.word It wasn’t the normal use of the in- always easy to ally happening therefore thebetween city was exstate and the connections Inbe a hero. dios, which is kept for the inperiencingdia drought.

Small clouds Inof truth, dust and Latin America.

‘The item,people of course.’of the digenous mushroomed underneath his rubber they from remain worlds apart, exotic ‘Don’t get Hari. ‘We’re profes- sandals. realms in the imagination of the Americas.

Theideas,’ latter issaid a ghostIs an Indian visiting sionals she’s offthe limits.’ ly kind and of Indian; native As for aother. getaway plan, had parked his There are he no shared languagthe Caribbean a ‘Chillinhabitants out, Majestic.

Taíno ofI was the just is- making an ob- bike so that it faced es and few away. direct The ties.motorcycle If we are different sort of servation the report. land werefor wiped out or This ab- is a romantic- manufacturer’s appealed wiredmotto together at all,to ithim: is in‘Made large creature than a jealousy so it colonial follows that our job is to like a Gun,part sorbed case intoand the Goesthrough like a Bullet’.

It dated back to the west, a connecwestern visitor? peep at her.’centuries ago. population days when tionthe mediated by armies westernbought cities, Hari hisvisiting cool. ‘Good, try Is an kept Indian the CaEnfield Bullets bulk.

In case universities, sports,inand media.

Afto think like a detective.’ ribbean a different sort of he the must make a quick escape, ter all, only reason I met my wife Triplex’sthan appreciation creature a western of vis-fehe’dfirst simply runwas out,because hop on and in the place we male beauty was his that mainwestern draw- tourists itor? Kincaid insists travbugger off. both lived in New York.

Entering police stations back a detective. elled toasAntigua in part to Three wallow in a sense ofrelated On foot in now, Harimy negotiated Once when travelling India, wife was and seconds after the woman cultural superiority; historyhad grants establishments them the heldmade traffic, dodging briefly atthe an disorderly airport. The security officera gone inside with the washing right to be tourists while making him the natives decorated elephant headed to a puzzledfail, at her American passport, Spanish queasy without and there was nothing else to objects of touristic regard, “backwards in that temple festival nearby – it was name, and ambiguous appearance.

“You look since he never knew if zoom in onway.” he said: charming of the year. to Indian,” that the time officer said.

MyThanks wife exhe was goingvery to come ‘So what perhaps, do we Ido Wishfully likenext, to think thatout there hiswas alert senses and decent not Indian, but PuertokarRia freeplained man that she Majestic?’ is an easier understanding between Indians can. Unsurprisingly, ma he had, so far, always surthe officer had never A the propensity to the be Caribbean easily and peoples of and Latin heard of Puerto vived the“It’s Bengaluru streets.near Rico. a small island bored wasThere his second greatest America. are many things in common, Cuba,” my wife explained On the first floor the build(she hadoffound that drawback. from a history of European colonialism to the of all the islands ing there a chit fund comof thewas Caribbean, Indians ‘Waitmulticulturalism and see.’ innate of our societies to a pany optimistically Interesting most readily recognisednamed Cuba). The officer ‘What if for nothing happens?’ reverence idols and a taste for dhania patta, Pyramidal Scheme Pvtthe Ltd. He nodded herInvestment head and considered great ‘Thatand would be Athe that could headed garlic, cumin. fewbest yearsthing ago, my mother, upwide the stairs next flux of the world.to “Itthe must be floor, one ofwhere those happen.’ my brother, and I were accosted in the nation- he a firmshe that went by the somewhat newnoted countries,” said. lit aincigarette watching al Triplex museum Mexico and Citystarted by a janitor whoa cryptic name of Telegraphic Intimations. Hari kanishk is the authoron of Swimmer Among song-and-dance onIndia his phone.

Hari Majes- had claimed that heclip loved for two reasons: readtharoor about telegraphs Wikipedia but forthcoming short of the Stars: Stories, tic theidealism muddy of lane for lay- had the scanned righteous thebelow Non-Aligned no clue theya still existedcollection in the ITofcapital fiction tkanishktharoor abouts, lechers – not necessarily in India.

Movement and and the louts film Sholay.

Gazing over Up a final flight of stairs, he spotted an

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unglamorous glass door with a low-key sign for Total Safety Security Agents & Services stencilled across it.COUNTRY There he stopped and hesitatUNDISCOVERED ed for the second time.

Considering that the Bengaluru police force only had 16,109 men and women in its service, private security was big business, employing hundreds of thousands of people if you counted every guard at every ATM, jewellery shop and posh residence. So if almost everybody else worked in the security industry, then why shouldn’t he get his share? Besides, it’d be a safe employment as the demand was only going up with the population. Just in Hari’s lifetime, Bengaluru had grown from a million or two to over ten, rowdy-sheeters of no fixed address and other floating population counted.

He stopped to contemplate a notification painted on the wall, stating that applicants were expected to be well-groomed, clean-shaven with sober haircuts, dressed tidily in ironed shirts and formal pants in a colour no brighter than brown.

Rolling his head sideways to loosen up the neck, he pepped himself, checked his looks in the door glass: no matter how much coconut oil he used, an uncontrollable protuberance The battle to live Thanks to his alert senses and decent karma Hari has, so far, survived the Bengaluru streets k murali kumar, shutterstock stood up from his forehead as if he were born on a bad hair day. He was wearing his showy nylon shirt and frayed stonewashed jeans. How to Avoid Taking Tension ‘Why?’ Plus, he had grown a trendy moustache. One ‘There, I see them,’ said Triplex. ‘Will I get a Di‘To see what happens. Maybe she’ll get of his friends had one, so he’d followed suit. wali bonus?’ scared, come out and do romantic stuff with Perfect disguise, nobody would think of him ‘Who are you looking at?’ asked Hari, still those two.’ as a potential detective. Would-be movie star, struggling to overcome the titanic hangover.

‘In your dreams.’ yes. Detective, no.

‘Lover boys at three o’clock. I solved the case Thus the afternoon played itself out, school Trouble was, Hari had never applied for a on the first day, Majestic. I’m a natural.’ kids walked past, barefoot, many of them lugjob before because he’d been too busy staying It was getting hot on the brick shed’s roof. ging schoolbags almost double their size, alive. However, at the age of twenty-eight, it The afternoon air felt like the detectives were squealing with delight at the thought of tiffin Nobody’s own seemed to him that only salaried peoimprisoned inside an idli steamer. at home. internees ple mattered in the matrimoSmoke from innumerable It was getting late inChinese the day and the light at Deoli playing a nial ads. In fact, most households wafted up. The turned golden and mellow.

Darkness fell with game of mahpeople of his generation, odour of its smells of frying onion, flickering cold light jongg the hindu archives born in the 1980s, kerosene and cow of televisions, FM music from radios and the were married and dung blended with cows coming home. Model slum, thought had kids, mortthe tasty fumes of Hari. Finally the coffee miller too returned afoygaged Ma cleared herinthroat in a slightly hesi- her family. First her father was taken for queshomes that shop children, grandparents and had cooking masalas.so callously ter shutting and nothing of interest tant manner, and said, “Today is my birth- tioning. The family didn’t know his whereapartment pregnant women would be dragged off to Hari shifted happened in his absence. day.”

It was an unexpected revelation, and abouts for a whole month. Then they the spend years buildings with the Triplex crime of their his took binoculars ‘Whenbehind do we bars eat?’for asked with a wistour group,securigathered at the office of the Na- rest of the family. Yin’s grandmother was one 24-hour ancestry.

It boggles thehis mind that 16 to check out the ful rumble from tummy.

Heyears neverafter ate anytionaltyFoundation of India, paused for a mo- of the world’s last Chinese lotus feet — women and decent Independence, after our ‘tryst with destiny’, two young men thing that didn’t swim in animal fat and he, of mentjobs before breaking keepjeans with the out in congratulations. who had their feet bound as children five children were born in captivity. of at in to tight course, expected to be treated toOne non-veg Although it is not a gentleman’s job to ques- them small, and supposedly attractive. possibility of rethem, living in expense.

Canada now, named walkingHer tocompany The is perks hadDeoli, beenafone of tion aceiving lady about her age, I knew that Joy had feet were the size of fists, but the wards Indian statePrem a penter the of her birth, carryingpoints the name of Hari theplace important negotiation when just turned 52. SheGod was one of five children dragged the hobbling old woman to a camp that jail sion before forhis theemployees, rest of hersince life. he couldn’t guaranVilas. hired borntook in Deoli, Rajasthan, them off to in the World War II for enemies of the state. the detainees heldon inaDeoli for Triplex was Most teeof salaries.

They allwere worked commission prisoner-of-war campnext that India had convertMany of the people were detained justinafter their threebasis. years, and then released back to their zooming with the ed, after the 1962 war, into an internment the Chinese New Year, an occasion meant be — alreincarnations. hometowns.

Bybreak the time returned home, camera, but to Hari ‘Dinner is atthey midnight.’ camp for its citizensHari of Chinese auspicious, to give hope ofways goodaware of the big Somehow had origin. belongings hadwill disap‘Cometheir on, Majestic.

The bars be shut.

At found one time, scholars Yin rehimself left calculate, behind there were in the coming days. What peared from their houses and picture — noticed that they That’s unfair.’ up toon 30,000 of Chinese expressions life’speople backburner, as origin if he living in calls instead are the had begliver for and stopped at every door.

‘That’swarehouses. reality. It’ll beThey good forto your Kolkata’s Bythat the nofall of 1962 on the faces of the ‘Triplex, crowd that wereChinatown starring in alone. a movie loans Do to you starthave over. chil-a livlesson one in detec- other organs. anyYoung idea what that number had dwindled to about one-tenth gathered around tive her work familyis as body wanted to produce. dren,would who had three years take to payItattention in mind er transplant costspent you? You should boggles the across the country. beenfor only tran- they were beingorder takento away.

He dug in hisMany jeans’had pocket inofprison, interpret what you see after good care the onelost youtheir have,’education, preached Hari. that 16 years sientthe residents anyway, of General These were theircorrectly.’ neighbours, printout of his remnants bio data. The had to said makeTriplex. do with stunted ‘You’reand so mean,’ Independence, after Trouble was, Hari had Chiang army, which families they had known genCV Kai-shek’s was almostKuomintang truthful. In Math the saddest part is ‘I justfor did.’

Sullencareers. silence Maybe on the roof for three seconds, our ‘tryst with never applied for a had lost civil two war subjects against he Mao Tse-tung’s erations. Now they looked upon and the English, had that most of us do not even ‘And what do you see?’ until Triplex forgot he was supposed to sulk. destiny’, five children job before because Communists. eventually their way Yin’s family as if ‘They’re they were a bizarreThey aptitude for, hemade really know, or care to know, thislit hiscollecting funds for acaptivity He dug out a pack of Gold Flakeofand a cigawere born in he’d been too busy to Taiwan. traders and busi- strangers, foreigners. hadn’tOthers been athad thebeen bottom of the tory. Joyit is of those community puja.’ rette, smoking inthe his youngest cupped hand, the way staying alive nessmen, the relations soured Joy’s mother did not knowmeans?’ she bin and in aselementary school,between former prisoners; mostHeofwas theflam‘Which it was done in gangster movies.

Indiathough and China, theygot too expelled left for Hong time they’re of de- probably under boyant, survivors he had at Kong, was pregnant at the‘That among those bought cigarettes with wrongly filters, while Taiwan, other lands that have them. tention. When she found theor age of thirteen.

Aswould an adult, heldthing under the scorching Rajascover,’ saidout, Triplex. ‘Like we are. the normal to smoke would be bidis.

It washe’d the spent misfortune of the 3,000 for an abortion. She than sun very short stints inor jailso left be- she begged the doctors foritno fault of theirs are much older.

Aren’t they?’

‘Isn’t awesome,’ said Triplex. hind so — most themmuch born in parents was denied permission. took good The thereof wasn’t of India a rapof sheet to speak In another decade or so, they may no longer be ‘You simply watchBut toothey many movies.

‘What?’ asked Hari. who were inlisted India — they hadn’t care of her,ifthe out her way to be of. Inalso the born CV he it that as ‘judicial training’ with us.‘We’re detectives now, Majestic. And to think lover, henurse exists,went won’t beofunder cover — he’ll lived and, anywhere except their homes Kolka- as kind, and Joy’s extra rations. indeed, he in had aided theinpolice a simply to consider whattotal we can do to be amother normalreceived guy, a postman or a milk- It behoves how the us other day we were losers.’ ta, Darjeeling, Barbed a documentary

by Ra- apologise snitch. Kalimpong and the surround- In Beyond these fellow-citizens oftoours, to man with hisWires, cow, making a house delivery.’

‘Yes,tohard to believe,’ said Hari his seconding areas. feeq Ellias the internees who lived At the end of the list of professional experimarkin-command. their tragedy, But so that a crime is nev‘Or on a woman,’ said Triplex andthrough licked drool he such knew that the visible As ences, I have written in an earlier the for the horrifying experience, Joy’s mother says after ‘tourist guide’ column, (euphemism er repeated.

But how does a state It from his chin.

He had spotted a female neighworld contained within it aapologise? deeper truth – round-up Indians of Chinese origin made she cannot regret the facthim. that permission for is something tout) of and ‘investment adviser’ (ditto for twoforarcane, us to think about,now before thethen, bour who interested veiled and glimpsed and no sense.

It was after India‘hero’. had already lostwhere the he an abortion was denied. she too,’ has Joy. bit conman), it read That was people we have sinned against so grievously ‘The wrong kind At ofleast movies said Hari usually offline, if one was perceptive.

This hidwar that families were swept up merely staggering that an India out born free-in the sawwhole himself heading.

However, hero jobs It is are no longer forgive us. and through it and noticed smoke coming of atohole den trutharound shapedto one’s destiny because of come their knocking ethnicity. on Yina daily Marsh was a dom,front with wall the promise freedom forshe its citididn’t basis. of PremofVilas.

Either too had the cosmic chaos was processed into order. t@OmairTAhmad teenager, 13,worrying when thetoo police arrived for himzens,started would cooking treat some of its own so brutally, Noonly point much, he told or she was heating water for a zac o’yeah is a Bengaluru-based author, travel writer self. Then he pushed open the door, ready to bath. Did she expect a visitor? and literary critic face whatever waited on the other side.

‘Shall we throw some crackers then?’

How does a state apologise?

More than 50 years on, India still owes an explanation to those it detained at a war camp in Rajasthan for having Chinese blood

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Omair Ahmad is the South Asia Editor for The Third Pole, reporting on water issues in the Himalayas

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READER’S DIE JEST

ments take place all the time. My sister’s daughter, Rupa, was just 15 when she went away with a boy of her age from a neighbouring line [demarcated labour colonies in the gardens are termed ‘labour lines’]. They came back a month later and their parents had no option but to get them married.”

Anita blames the use of mobile phones and cinema (read Bollywood) for this trend. “Our neighbour’s daughter also eloped at 16. This is why girls should be married before they can make such mistakes,” she adds.

However, the repercussions of child marriage are extremely adverse. An early pregnancy puts at risk the lives of both the mother and baby. Sandip Ghosh of ABITA says the mean age for motherhood in the tea gardens is 19.3 years. Dr Ziaur Rahman, who practises in a Sonitpur tea garden, says many adolescent girls and women in the gardens are anaemic because of poor diets, so early pregnancies result in higher maternal deaths.

Desertion is yet another risk in early marriages. Sarati Kisan, member of a Mothers’ Club formed by ABITA to spread health awareness, says, “They marry young and find it difficult to cope. If the girl becomes pregnant, the boy is not mentally prepared to shoulder the responsibility. Many young women return to their parents’ home and lead lives of great uncertainty.”

Despite a declining trajectory, Assam still has one of the country’s highest maternal mortality ratios (MMR) — 328 per one lakh live births. According to Mondakini Gogoi, a National Rural Health Mission (NRHM) official in Jorhat district, the tea gardens have pushed and had two children before she turned 20. up the state’s MMR and IMR (infant mortality According to government data, at 40 per rate) levels. “The gardens are our focus area cent the prevalence of child marriage in As- now,” she says. sam is lower than the national average of 43 Adolescent Girls Clubs, run by ABITA in partper cent (source: Unicef), but it is much higher nership with Unicef, are now actively working in some pockets such as tea gardens. A study to prevent child marriages in the tea gardens. guothova/shutterstock

by Assam Branch of Indian Tea Association When Seema, a 14-year-oldjana from a Dibrugarh (ABITA) in Dibrugarh, a tea garden-intensive tea garden, found out that her parents were sis at home andthat I’m needed. district, found one-fourth of the respon- 5/10/2015 planning to get her married, she got in touch dents (4,100 parents) felt it was appropriate OK, found out what the termmembers prodigal withI finally her friend Rumi, 13, and other 1/10/2015 for girls to marry between the ages of son means. why does she callconvinced him the of herBut club.

Together they I14don’t know who the woman of the house is prodigal son? and 18.

If anything, I am the physical, prodigal Seema’s parents of the more by,this theare boyvaror the mother-in- son. Or… wait. Isemotional, The troubled reasons for she referring me after andtoother toll all? taklaw.

Bothone, of them do inappropriate things. He ied. For as Moni points en by child marriage. makes herare go on crazy adventures, and she re- 6/10/2015 out, girls considered “Seema’s grandmother does all the paintings when she’s been sum- This is it. Why why why better-suited for work incident about wasis that especially difficult moned to plucking help withof something else. The my asking my wife toto such as the unbutton jeans convince,my but sheon fiwoman doesn’t count leaves, and easily find on me much for any- the fashion ramp in this actually nallybook? cameShe around.

We thing except to glued to my iPad. Just as had to go to the police also employment inbetheir station because asked told the Ifamily well. still struggling teens.I’m Once they be- with Angry Birds, at her to do it, and there that I waschild thinking she was marriage is which son says, oh dad, so last decade. come my wage earners, all turned on by the against idea. Turns out itRumi was the law,” they are deemed to be nothing of the sort.

SheToday, wasthe reluctant. adds. girls are 2/10/2015 of marriageable age.

RELUCTANT. thrilled to have Seema ForPoor some reason Iisam the butt of all her jokes. schooling anothback in school. According She went on stage and er important factor.

Teasaid, gar-‘Our little satellite 7/10/2015 to Unicef, the tea garden reached Mars because it was called MOM. If it Also, what’s with dens have schools only up to the phone survey that clubs have reported 144shows cases was called DAD,Girls it would primary level. drop still out be afbachelors as the happiest peoof child marriage during 2008circling Earth, but not ter that, the as their parents arewillunple?

Did make a mistake 10, and haveI successfully stalled ing to to asksend for them directions.’

I’ve willing to schools somewhere?

12 of them.

Once they become been asking her for theAdded number that are further away. to Anita Aind, 19, who is doing For some reason I wage earners, they of who barged in on the all the thisdad is the general non-prefer8/10/2015 her bachelor’s in education and am the butt of all are deemed to be of school WhatsApp group, ence formoms’ daughters.

Madan KishShe saidtomy baby has ‘genetically wants become a teacher, obher jokes marriageable age but she refuses to give it to me. an, medical health assistant at a made-for-karate hands’. serves that there has beenI aknow drop tea garden hospital in Sonitpur what in the‘genetically’ number of means. child marriag3/10/2015 and a member of the local comes. “Parents now realise the imWhy whyexplains, why is the of munity, “Thewoman tea tribe 9/10/2015 portance of education… My the house washing linen in public? Why She said sheparents community has dirty always prehas twocontinue GermantoShepherds at work in the do I come sounding as an oaf who ferred maleout children to female.

It is themight usual home. do?

Wherethat are they? garden,We but ensured I studied along with love his wife and get children, yes,and butgo doesn’t argument — girls married away my brothers.” seem care forand anything in the house,inreally, while to sons stay look after parents their 10/10/2015 Her friend Rupali seconds her, “I am in Class busy only and strange old age.

Sowith they his are movies, eager to iPad, relinquish the re- But she’s right about annoying WhatsApp 12 and want to do a course in nursing.

Most muscle-building diet? for their daughters as messages sponsibility of caring when line hungover on atoday Sunday girls in our labour are studying and soon as possible.” morning. you won’t find any child marriage there!”

(This monthly column youunder talk about a 4/10/2015 The third factor is a rather curious one, and feature has been helps written the Nahaving to awarded read it.) by the National So of mineamong tells meother the woman of the book notthis thatfan prevalent communities tionalwithout Media Fellowship house has written a book that’soften Helenrun Fielding — elopement.

Teenage couples away Foundation of India) meets PG Wodehouse. are they?

I’ve never to marry against theirWho families’ wishes.

Anita arunava sinha translates classic, contemporary non-fiction intoWomen’s English t@arunava azera fiction, parveen rahman Feature Service seen Lohar,their an movies. adivasi tea worker, says, “Elope- Bengali

Adam’s crib

We’ve been married so many years and still she expects me to read a book

arunava sinha

Nipped in the bud Teen clubs are sprouting in Assam’s tea gardens to fight the decades-old scourge of child marriage

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ike any adolescent, Sangeeta Lohar has dreams about her future. The confident 17-year-old wants to complete her education and become a nurse — hastily clarifying with a smile, “a nurse, not in a tea garden hospital, but in a town”. Girls in her community of adivasis working in the tea gardens of Assam are rarely able to live out 27/9/2015 their childhood or weave dreams for themThe woman the houseare hascommon written aamong book. selves.

Childofmarriages She expects me read it. I indices. cleverly spilled a them, leading toto poor social glass of of vegetable juiceinonAssam’s it. She tea rolled her Most the workers plantaeyes me to start eating someancestors real food tionsand aretold tribal migrants, whose which I wouldn’t spillfrom on her or on her. I were brought over thebook neighbouring reminded her of Jharkhand, the time her kebabs felland on states of Odisha, West Bengal her dress.

Hehehe.

Shethan thought I wasago. there.

Andhra Pradesh more a century ButI wasn’t.

It’s in her A fanhas told me. tremenwhile Assam’s teabook. industry made dous progress over the years, the workers con28/9/2015 tinue to lead dismal lives, plagued by Last night illiteracy, in her sleep woman of the ignorance, poor the health and poverty. house asked me are if she’s funny.

I told her she’s Child marriages a direct offshoot of this. hilarious she’s talking toworker her mother.

As Moniwhen Komar, a tea garden in SoShe sulked.

I have why.

In the morning nitpur district, onno theidea north bank of the Brahshe told river, me she was referring to they her book. maputra explains, “Girls, once are 15 We’ve beenwork married so tea many yearsand and earn still or 16, can in the garden she expects me totheir read afamilies. book. I blame my some money for From it anon early mother-in-law.

She has a strange of and huage they are taught to cook, washsense dishes mour.

Myand mother-in-law, that siblings. is, not theSowomclothes, look after their paran thethat house.

The baby hasare theready greatest entsoffeel their daughters for sense of humour here. Moni was married at 17 marriage by that age.”

Mrs Funnybones Twinkle Khanna Penguin Non-fiction ₹299

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Stop sign Members of the Mothers’ Club at a tea garden in Sonitpur district, Assam, discuss ways to dissuade their young girls and boys from eloping; (top) the Assam tea industry has flourished, but its workers lead dismal lives; (inset) Rupali and Anita are among the young crusaders battling child marriage azera rahman/wfs

29/9/2015 What’s with all the diary entries? Why can’t she just do a compilation of jokes like that Khushi Singh used to do? That’s a book I could have read. I tried reading THE book, but this daily entry thing terrifies me.

30/9/2015 Hey, I can be funny about the woman of the house too. Like what’s this business she runs?

More like she runs away from it. Hahaha. And it’s not like she can run. You should see her on the beach. Except that one time she chased these guys who were passing comments. She should have called me, I would have shown them a thing or two. I can hang upside down from balconies. I do it every time there’s a cri-

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Well, John McCain came with Lindsay Graham MyRichard mum’s Holbrooke, dabba gosht and who was President Obama’s man.gosht It was group,ofwho The dabba is aa bipartisan dense pie made came from India after meeting people tender mutton and egg. There are nowat the highest level, McCain told and me that versions thatand include noodles creamthere was a lot of anger in India.

Heissaid and cashew paste.

But this thea war could unadorned original. take place, but it could still be averted. And he asked whatmutton, the Pakistani would 1/2 kgme tender cut into reaction small pieces be,1 iftspthere was a limited strike in Muridke.

I ginger-garlic paste could not green believe my ears.

Quarter papaya, finelyI told slicedhim that the Pakistani army would be under tremendous A pinch of turmeric 1 tsp pressure red chilli powder public to respond, it would be delegSalt itimised in people’s eyes if it did not respond. eggs, would whiskedgive a commensurate reSoThree the army sponse to thethe Indian action.

I said the Pakista1 Marinate mutton in the ginger-garlic nipaste, army salt, would perhaps after an airfield chilli powdergoand papaya for at in leastmaybe two hours.

Remove slices India, one in Jammuthe andpapaya Kashmir.

And when ready from then on,to thecook. war could escalate as Indi2 Whisk three eggs littleno salt. ans may respond to with that, aand one could 3 Coathow a midsized vesselgo, with a generouswith predict far it would particularly quantity of oil.armed Then with heat nuclear the oil on slow ow the tables have turned! Or, in luscious the figs and cream, how exotic the both countries weapons. flame and pour half the egg into the this particular case, the humble bheja cutlets and how redolent the dabba vessel and spread it. When the egg starts Pakistan’s plays a big thaal. gosht, there’s always the little matter of eight We toknow cook,that gently place thearmy marinated in deciding What was once the subject of spoons plunging into a single bowl. Or eight role mutton on topforeign of the policy egg in towards a layer. India and Afghanistan in particular. a big goggle-eyed horror, is today the object of gas- hands lunging for the tender chicken leg.

4 Pour the remaining whiskedIsn’t egg that on top to the peace process? tronomical effusions. And a food tradition inStill, this system has been in place for centu- hindrance of the mutton.

5 Then place tawa on the flame andthe forreally amatter who is running evitably greeted with “eek, you all eat from the ries in the Bohra community — descendants of It doesn’t heat it. Turn the gas toorsimmer.

Place the policy in Islamabad Delhi, the bilateral same plate!” is now being hailed as foodie ad- Gujarati Hindu traders who, influenced by eign vessel on arethe fartawa. too important for that. You venture. It’s now the inspiration behind blogs missionaries from Yemen, converted to Islam relations 6 Next, cover vessel. in You canyou either really havethe a choice who want to and t-shirts, food festivals and excursions. around the 10th century. The thaal is central to don’t seal the cover to the vessel or weigh it Suddenly, biryani cooked on charcoal fire their identity. So much so that they celebrate talk to. Look, the military plays a role in forTit for tat In Neither a Hawk nor a Dove, Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri writes that after the 2008 Mumbai attacks, down with a heavy object like a mortar. policy Indiaon too, and and t-shirts declaring Bohri Coma are birthday every year! And, of course, pay eign sushil kumar verma American senators warned him of a Food possible military strike its

by India Then pourinwater the lid.friction between military andslowest the civilian popping up across the country. The Bohri enormous attention to all the details. Before the 7 Cook on the flame leadership possible forhas seen the US andsure Indiathat as well.

Pakistan Kitchen — a home dining outfit that introduc- the thaal actually arrives, a square cloth called been about aninhour.

Make the water AGENDA of entirely. political tures guests to the festive thaal — is a safra is placed on the floor. Then has ongone the lidthrough does notdecades evaporate 8 Once cooked,more allow than the dabba gosht to we house 4.5 million refua smash hit in Mumbai. comes a round stand called a ta- moil, cooland andwhen thenyou overturn it intothe a plate. have chaos, army ends The thaal — for the deprived rakti, and it is on this that the gees, souls who’ve never wangled an thaal is placed. Next, everyone up playing a bigger role. The civilian governinvitation to a Bohri feast — is an takes a pinch of salt and awaits ment can control the relationship more when On the face of it, there iscream peace.in a flaky pastry. This is followed enormous metal plate, larger the first dish — always a dessert! clotted they’ll be making than a hula-hoop. There was a This is usually a huge bowl of by some serious meat — a smoked leg of lamb, polite conversation, youchicken, see Narendra Modired being able And, to of time when it served as a dining but internally, they’re hand-churned ice cream or Do a fried or a lethal mutton. substantial difference in thetheir peace table for regular family meals. gearing up to snag the strawberries topped with puffs of make course,a as a nod to those who want fruit or does he havebowls to playofHindutva But more and more, it’s brought most succulent bits of whipped cream or something process and vegetables, small salads and by being hawkish Pakistan? out only for festive occasions. equally dreamy. And while it’s champion chaats sit along the rim of theon thaal. kaju chicken Modi, I would thatand a man whocontinue, has risen At these elaborate affairs, suddenly fashionable to declare OnThe rounds of say mithas kharas a humble background like heofhas about eight people sit around that our ancestors were geniuses from depending upon the generosity thewould host a sense of destiny.

Hecaterers, would want to do each thaal and wait with a who knew everything about nu- have and the repertoire of the the monoto put with the relationship backBadri into greedy gleam for the food proctrition and nuclear warfare, I’m something syllabic magicians names like Bhol, But if another were to happen, ession. On the face of it, they’ll be making po- making no such claims. I bet that the dessert- place. and Dilawar.

But theMumbai meal eventually culmihellincould loose. lite conversation about Farida’s BA results or first system arose out of pure impatience. Why all nates a bigbreak rice dish — a traditional, nutty Whatdaal-gosht Modi mustor do is appointpulao. a back-chanAdnan’s Honda, but internally, they’re gearing waste precious appetite on rice and gravy curry, rainbow After negotiator on Kashmir, someone whom he up to snag the most succulent bits of kaju when you could binge on fat white jalebi nel which the overstuffed zombie-impersonators trusts, without telling If the talks chicken. Then the first dish arrives. It’s placed topped with rose petals and pista. mumble their thanks andanyone. shuffle home. hurshid Mahmud Kasuri washands Pakis- maat-e-Islami. anysounds progress after five six months, But then, bowl I do not come clean from make in the centre of the thaal and eight After the first dessert is wiped All this charming in aorNational Geotan’s foreign is when announce it. That is his mindset.along I hadcomes also refused to join Zia-ulswoop in hungry unison, minister cheerfullybetween sharing that and cleared, a savoury dish.

Usu- that graphic kindheofshould way, but as a child I never andapple 2007,ice under thebut military chance of mother makingisany progress on the though I had I protested against not just the2002 custard cream the vi- Haq, ally something friedoffers. and frilly — chicken and best thought so. My a Bohra, my father is of General Pervez him wascutlets, even arrested it. ral du jourdictatorship as well. whiteand sauce kheemafor samosas, you get peace not. Soprocess. at such dinners my father would be Musharraf.

Kasuri why was in Delhi thisridden week the picture. Then comes a traditional halwa or seated Also, at most the time, someone Which explains theNew thaal hasn’t theoftable withperceiving the hip transplant India,oryour current party leader Imran to his new Hawk, Nor a In hawkand or dove on the person who is thepromote ethnic chic wavebook so far.Neither For, noa matter how mithai the unbeatable malai khaja — sweet, as crowd a fewdepends other ‘outsiders’.

My mother Khan is seen as a bit of a populist who plays Dove. He gave BLink an exclusive interview, judging.

Fortoexample, most And Pakistanis think shutterstock shutterstock would rush meet cousins. we children which has been lightly edited and condensed: to the Islamist gallery.

I’m making a dove, while most Indians were hustled into up the quorum at You know, Imran once told me probably think I’m a hawk. incomplete thaals.

In a long political career, you have worked that it was strange that liberal Often these thaals were unpopular for a reaYou’ve been part of the with the Bhuttos, the Sharifs and now with Pakistani friends want us to go son — they comprised the hacking coughers, Pakistani ruling elite for long.

Imran Khan. And you were Pakistan’s to war in Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa the spitty speakers, the chicken leg-grabbers Someone like you and other Pakistani foreign minister under the military (KP), against our own people, Musharraf, even and though the squintyDo aunties who spent all dinner now regret dictatorship of President Musharraf. Does while liberals in London and Paprobingpolicymakers questions like, “How is Bhai he was fromasking a military that make you an adaptable politician or ris are protesting against the related tousing you?”non-state actors as background,Qader was more foreign policy tool? like The someone lacking ideological conviction? war. You also have to look at the Of course, commercial ventures democratic than the There is no real ideological difference be- psychological aspect of it: Imran Non-state actors havethe been Bohri Kitchen have managed to shed aun-a civilian parties tween different parties in Pakistan. Someone is a Pathan, though he grew up disaster, noaspects question about ties and other unpalatable of commulike Musharraf, even though he wasthulasi from a in Lahore. He will have a soft corthat, and we are paying a heavy nal eating. Their guests sit around a “pseudo kakkat paul norohna military background, was more democratic ner for Pathans who are sufferthat. We didthe notkhattaanticthaal”. They getprice the for trotters and than the civilian parties. When I disagreed ing in KP. All my Pathan friends, has chutney. happened in meetha chickenipate and what the date They with Nawaz Sharif I had to resign, whereas regardless of their background, oppose the ar- terms of extremism our own No taste authentic Bohriin cuisine and country. understand Musharraf was much more open-minded, and my’s actions in KP. I do have my disagreements one safe in Pakistan today, women whyisit’s such a favourite.

Butincluding they also get indihad better administrative skills. Musharraf al- with Imran, but on India and Kashmir, we are and children.

I feel the meal, current military vidual plates and a full and do notoperhave so held much more modern views on women, on the same page. ation in KP will be taken to its logical concluto battle over every morsel.

After which, they on minorities. sion, people Which in Pakistan mightbecause even getnow the t-shirt! provesdon’t that The inheritance culture in our “democratic In your book, you write that after the 2008 want to put—up this anymore.

We don’t sometimes justwith sometimes — it is possible to parties” brings about a different sort of dicta- Mumbai attacks, US Senator John McCain want to become one more Iraq, Libya or Syria. have the best of both worlds. torial tendency. That is the great paradox of told you India might be considering a strike sambuddha mitra mustafi is the and founder of The of our politics. Ironically, the one party which is in Muridke, the headquarters of Jamaat-udshabnam minwalla is a journalist the author Political Indian t@some_buddha most democratic internally right now is the Ja- Dawa outside Lahore.

The Six Spellmakers of Dorabji Street

STREET, EAT, REPEAT

Eight spoons and the bheja cutlet The Bohri thaal, for long scorned as a messy communal dining endeavour, is now the newest food adventure

shabnam minwalla

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Khurshid Mahmud Kasuri, former Pakistan foreign minister, on working with elected political leaders and military dictators, and negotiating the complex relationship with India sambuddha mitra mustafi

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The march begins The Bohri thaal starts off with a dessert and quickly makes its way through frilly and fried savouries, traditional sweets and some serious meat before ending with a big rice dish

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Beer up inkhulla Belgium Khullam pyaar karenge…

In search of the perfect pint in a country where the brew is religion

A countrywide campaign gives public display of affection — frowned upon by vigilante groups and the police — a shot in the arm are mixed groups routinely targeted? How many of us visit our neighbourhood parks to read a book or eat an apple?

“I am from Chandigarh, the city of gardens.

But you will not find young people anywhere.

Even after 8-9 am, they’re thrown out of parks,” says Rachitaa. “When I moved to Delhi, over a year ago, I was introduced to a strange new walk,” she adds. Arms outstretched, bag handy to strike, shoulders slightly hunched…

“I have walked like this to college, in the colony, and on streets not realising it’s a funny walk,” Neha says, as I nod in commiseration.

For most of us, this is a familiar gait.

On ground, the campaign’s Facebook pages and Twitter feeds have been flooded with pictures of PDA: A heterosexual couple posing at the Taj Mahal at dusk, a gay duo peeking from behind a tree in Hyderabad, and an individual lazing on a park bench, holding up a placard that says ‘#ParkMeinPDA kyunki khaali bench ka kya faayda’. “The responses have been organic. We found that this issue resonated with almost everyone,” says Neha.

After two weeks of the campaign’s chai pe charchas, this is the truth universally acknowledged: To be a (middle-aged, middle- and upper-class Hindu cisgendered heterosexual) man is a wonderful thing.

In her seminal 1980 essay ‘What would a non-sexist city be like? Speculations on HousJust us two #ParkMeinPDA’s Facebook pages and Twitter feeds have been flooded with pictures from several cities kr deepak ing, Urban Design, and Human Work’, American historian Dolores Hayden writes, “‘A n a pleasant afternoon last Friday, on charges of indecent behaviour. More such woman’s place is in the home’ has been one of Liquid gold Almost every village in Belgium had its own brewery.

A photo from a beer in Brussels skyfish/shutterstock Central Park in Delhi’s Connaught acts followed soon.

In festival Ahmedabad, cops re- the most important principles of architectuPlace was teeming with people. It portedly asked hotel owners to inform them ral design and urban planning for the last cenwas a public holiday, on account of of couples taking rooms for less than two tury.” While most urban spaces are designed ry searching for the ‘beer capital of hours.

Gandhi Jayanti.

Families picnicked, friends ders region) boasts at least years ofman uninterIn Mangaluru, a 50 Muslim was keeping whole new of beer a generation neutral person inentrepreneurs. mind, Shilpa thecouples world’ and Google will up stripped hung about, canoodled, andthrow men loirupted brewing. and beaten for speaking to a Hindu Phadke, The Revolution wasof soon the beer co-author Whyeclipsed Loiter? by writes, “As everything from Munich to Milwautered. Amid the family scenes, scores of cou- woman.

I got my first ‘taste’ it ofappears the Belgian Increasingly thattraditions young In- educated, revolutionemployed, of the 19th century — production middle-class urban Indikee. The 21st century seen aand re- dians ples crouched behind clumps has of trees at Timmermans, Itterbeek, just out- breakthroughs — couples, located women,atgenlike yeast culture and Czech an women, when we express a decord increase in ‘Beer Tourism’ and a host of derqueer bushes, arms intertwined, eyes locked.

Dupatside Brussels. the world’s oldest Lam- pilsners coupled andPossibly trans-persons — advances. sire towith seektechnological pleasure in the city, it cities queuing up for positions. some of the action. Beer tas took up strategic A couple, clad are bic falling brewery (founded in 1702), its original In no time about foul of the narrow breweries had mushseems 3,000 problematic to some…

The nerds might lumberjack disapprove,shirts but there’s a new in matching and jeans, sat confines name wasofLa‘Indian Taupe.culture’.

Yeast was an unknown en- roomed all over Belgium; almost village desire for pleasure hasevery never been wave of beer snobbery the rise — it’s no tityEven in a passionate embrace.on Another couple stole then,the and Timmermans used spontaneous language that has had its own.as legitimate as the struggle ‘Safety’ and longer behind about just guzzling at the local emerged kisses a blue bag, down surfacing hastily fermentation (without yeast) their around displays of to craft The fizz didn’t forever;(But) the first blow againstlast violence. the quest ‘protection’ have pub with your Belgium’s beer culture is love whenever copsmates. walked by. The giant tricolour Lambic inviolence a tradition that continues andbeers sexual is one was the World I. I madestrengthens an unscheduled for War pleasure our become till new excuses quite similar to largest the French in the park — the in theobsession country —with flut- of date.

Ask the brewers here abouttotheir mostwomen prohibition and exclusion. stopand at Ieper, one of against the fierce battlegrounds struggle violence, framing exclude wine. in You don’t drink in Belgium, tered the breeze, andbeer a band got readyyou to ‘Safety’ important ingredient have and other genders from and ‘protection’ thislanguage war where thousands itof in the of rights rather tastethe it. stage. Cops marched about, wielding become take chances are they’ll say ‘air’.

Timnew excuses to ex(large numbers of Indians too) than protection.” public spaces Maybe was all these ‘Johnny come latelies’ lathis anditcocking an eye at smooching cou- clude mermans is one the genmany women andofother lost their The conquering When we lives. ask Rachitaa and Neha — theNevertheless, sudden emergence of beer all over ples. there was PDAcities (public dis- ders breweries that now welcome visfrom public spaces.

Germans requisitioned almost what they would do differently in The quality of the globe — thatall prompted play of affection) around. the Belgians to itors whoGupta, are interested in beerNeha 32, and Rachiall the copper vats, bringing designing a ‘non-sexist’ city, the drinking water was shed their inherentago, reticence andofsetfeminist the re- taa Over a fortnight a clutch making techniques or just findGupta, 27, who spearheadindustry to a virtual Alformer quickly says, standstill.

“More lights deemed unsanitary cord straight about their beer traditions. be- ed groups — Feminisim in India Delhi, WhyItLoiing#ParkMeinPDA, a quiet corner say in their bar. the campaign sought and toilets”, while most the every corner of “increasBelgium latter bats for, and the monks in ganTake in Back the The Middle Ages; the Queer monks in to ter, Night Kolkata, CamTheir brewsboth are served platreclaim publicwith space and PDA. Held ing visibility has of how villages of allstories genders in allentire spaces.”

Belgium chose beer Southern Europe Hyderabad received special privileges to pus Hyderabad, for Feminism — from tekaas, large slices of bread September 21 to October 3, the campaign helped hide large vats equip-a Hayden offers a remedy too: To and develop over wine drink stipulated amounts wine. The and a few individuals cameoftogether toquality start a spawned daubed with cream online cheeseand andoffline discus- new paradigm numerous ment to escape of of the home,the theattention neighbourof drinkingcalled water#ParkMeinPDA. was deemed unsanitary and campaign Launched in sions. sprinkled condiments.

In with tweetchats, curated by feminist hood, and the thecity; Germans, to beginsuggesting to describethat the monks choseofbeer over wine. groups the wake of in theBelgium latest round moral policing Not all beer accompaniments like Why Loiter, Genderlog, and Girl- physical, social, Belgians love theirdesign beer asofmuch and economic a huTheMumbai, abbeys became hubs for experiments and, sAtDhabas, in the campaign, with its cheeky are that uncomplicated.

In the a host of issues cropped up: Are man settlement as their Thesupport, Great Depresthatlives. would rather soon, beer aimed discoveries Hoegaarden — the parks hashtag, to like direct conversations ’70s, restaurants likefamilies Himmelhof pioneered meant only for and the elderly? than sion restrict, was thethe next big blow.

The downward activities of women.” wheat beer that was spaces. first brewed 1445 — Can’t around PDA in public CentralinPark was the artwomen of beer gastronomy.

It wasn’t just food loiter at street corners, bus slide continued tillconversation the ’60s, when the flower Meanwhile, the started by the werea made. not designated site for the campaign, but it stops, craftedand for beach beer but also food used beer as #ParkMeinPDA fronts?

Whythat is a woman subpower generation made many things, includcampaign will hopefully skip It wasn’t until 2007 that the Belgian Family jected might as well have been. ingredient.

The late wereshops an important to a male gaze’70s at paan and dha- out ing of Belgian beer, cool.

The tipping point the park, spill over to our streets, andhad inBrewers, close-knit group of 20-odd family- bas?

In earlya August, Mumbai cops had barged time What for Belgium’s beer industry.

The abbeys to our about gay men and trans-women’s waithomes. till the ’70s; Beer guru Michael Jackson owned breweries, wasIsland formed. these rights into hotels at Madh andEach Aksaofbeach, lost their exclusive privileges just after the (equally revered as MJ in the drinking circles) to public spaces?

Does gentrification kotamraju breweries (mostly in the Dutch-speaking Flan- perpetuate and detained 13 couples (consenting adults) French Revolution, the rise Why of a priyanka class andwhich caste saw hierarchies? put the spotlight back on the Belgian brew.

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No hand of god A play is ready but finds no stage — theatre man Kaizaad Kotwal is in the eye of a storm as fringe Catholic groups want a ban on his latest production

Full of punch A brewery owned by Duvel, Belgium’s third largest beer manufacturer; (right) beer in champagne flutes at DeuS Brut des Flanders ashwin rajagopalan

Travel log Getting there Not all beers are rooted in the past; breweries It’s now reserved for special guests and is loAlmost all the best breweries are around Belgium are also innovating. cated just next door to their brewery. of faith It’s a balmy Saturday morning The DeuS Brut des Flandres is within a couple ofQuestions hours from A scene from Kaizaad probably where beer meets and I’m sipping out of a glass Brussels. Jet Airways operates direct Kotwal’s Agnes of that resembles a champagne champagne — a blend of sparflights to Brussels God, frombased Mumbai and on a play flute in a cosy salon at Buggenkling wine techniques like disDelhi. You could also connect via written by American hout, a village about an hour gorging (lees removal process) Every single beer in Dubai or Abu Dhabi (On Emirates John Pielmeier.

The from Brussels. Except, this is no Belgium comes with a blend with beer-making. Bosis said to be or Etihad from all plot major Indian inspired by the true teels calls them ‘divine grain sparkling wine but one of the unique glass metros). story of a pregnant bubbles’, I merely nod in approvmany innovative beers that are nun sheriar irani Getting around winning a lot of attention even al. Bosteels’ most famous brew, Hire a car or take a train to get outside the country. This was the however, dates back to the days one brewery to the No by n March thisBosteels, year, Mumbai-based theatre packed auditorium residence of the a sevwhen the stagecoach owned on Monday, a day after the his Mumbaifrom in particular.

The play wasnext. written brewery is more than couple actor, director and brewery producerset Kaizaad Kot- road.

Kwak was His developed as a ‘coachman’ enth-generation family up in 1791. cancelled show. choked voice was a give- American John Pielmeier morea than 30of years hoursits away from is thecontroversial, other; you the wal wrote an impassioned letter to Amer- beer unique tallhad glass designed awayin of athe pain he endured overfor thethose past ago. Though premise ican comic Jerry Seinfeld, imploring him who sipped their ‘one forbullied the road’ stagefew days.

Unwilling to be by on theaCSF, he play hadshould a greatbe run on to Broadway (back when able cover good not to perform in India. At the time, the city coach. singleand beer Belgium invited Every his friends theinwho’s who comes of the it opened in 1982) was adapted ground in and two-three days. into a 1985 was just about recovering from the long- with a unique glass last count thereatwere theatre fraternity for—aatspecial premiere the film starring Jane Fonda. One can access the Stay drawn drama over comedy collective AIB’s in- an at least 1,500Centre types of Tataassortment Theatre ofofthe National of beer Per- film on YouTube. The plot is said to be inspired Hilton Brussels Grand nun Palace famous roast which ended with FIRs being glasses Belgium.

Notwas easystaged if you’re forminginArts.

The play to Delirium a packed by the true story of a pregnant who insist(www3.hilton.com) makes the concepslapped on everyone involved. Seeing how Cafe; Brussels landmark 2,000But va- ed the child was the result of a virgin house,this which applauded instocks solidarity. perfect base. It’s the justsacrifice across the things turned out, Kaizaad thought it was in rieties amidstofallbeers. the cheer, there were reminders of tion. “The play questions of nuns. road the tickets Brussels stationof Seinfeld’s best interests to stay away. “Who theDelirium is the brainchild AlainThe de most Laet, Now, they threats surrounding the of event. willfrom sell the fortrain hundreds to Dias, the city’s major secretaknows what moral brigade may take offence the ambitious CEO of Brewery, anothobvious one being theHuyghe police van parked out- rupees,”and saidclose Joseph the general and attractions. at something you say and press criminal er family-owned an hour from side and a group brewery of constables seated atpictura close ry of CSF,museums in a statement. charges against you? Who knows what small esque Ghent. beautiful, picture-postcard distance fromThis the stage to protect the actors.

Dias concluded the contents of the play Explore word/gesture you deliberately/otherwise use town doesthought not get the same attention as Brug“I never it (police prowere problematic If you don’t have time tobased drive on an shall cause harm/offence to someone who has es but iswould probably more charming.

The large tection) be necessary for advertisement in the paaround, take one of he thesaw half-day the right to pursue this in our courts of law?” student anlast interesting vibe a simplepopulation work of art.adds In the pers. To allay his fears, the KotBelgian Craft beer tours he wrote in a blog published on The Huffing- and so does being low onincreashype. An ancient ca20 years, we’ve become wals offered to pull the ads, but (www.brusselsbeertours.com) in ton Post. Seinfeld didn’t end up coming. It nal winds through We stunning offer-advocate ingly intolerant. have buildings, to Dias wanted more. “Their advoTheir Brussels that cost approximately wasn’t Kotwal’s pleas, but Mumbai Police’s ing of have phototoopportunities, whileSodder told fightscores back, we restore cate Joseph Sodder told me, ‘I’ve Joseph €50 each. concern over parking at the venue that finally Etablissement Max serves most delectable freedom, and make this a the better filed a case against Karan Johar me, ‘I’ve filed a case pulled the plug on the much-awaited show.

Belgian waffles.

Huyghe is oneIt’s of the against most vis-Karan JoharTip and Ranveer Singh. Who are you? democracy,” says Kaizaad.

The contents of Kaizaad’s letter now seem itor-friendly with a tiny museum the morning breweries after his successful I’ll breweries put you inare jail.’

So that’s open to thewhat and Ranveer Singh.Not all eerily prophetic. Early last week Kaizaad and and a barand withthe andirector enthusiastic I got premiere is al- crew. they want,” says Kaizaad.

The CSF You can check for visitor Who areayou? I’ll putpublic. his mother Mahabanoo Mody-Kotwal — both crash on theof‘how to pour a glass of you Bel- in jail ready course at the shoot a television website other books details on theproudly Belgianlists Family prominent theatre personalities — became gian with foam’. Huyghe serial.beer Later thattwo day,fingers he hasofan and website, films (including Thelinks Da Vinci Brewers which has to victims of the very same things it warned of. has taken the speciality route with a portadvertisement to film.beer “Legal Code) that the group has manall the breweries The Kotwals, who run the company Poor Box folio organic, and glubills that haveincludes to be paid,” he fair-trade says aged to stall. (www.belgianfamilybrewers.be) productions, were all set to debut their latest ten-free labels. Minutes There’s before, also room for an with a laugh.

Meanwhile, Kaizaad is left to play, Agnes of God, at the Sophia Bhabha Audi- ‘Abbey-style’ Averode, aoftribute the deal with the huge financial loss this ugly epiKaizaad had beer been—informed an FIRtofiled torium on October 4, when the venue backed country’s historic abbeys. against him at Bandra police station. “It is in- sode has cost him. “We don’t have sponsors. out. The subject of the play, especially the teresting Not all Belgian Family brewers arePolice boutique they went to the Bandra Sta- We make our money from tickets. So now I’ve newspaper ads promoting it, was strongly breweries, Duvel (translates to ‘devil’) is Belgiremarkably pale for atobrew with tion because that’s not where the play took ture got abeer readyisproduct but no places perform,” condemned by the Bombay Archdiocese, the um’s beer manufacturer and and has 8.5 per cent Duvel’s Moortgat facility place.third It is alargest predominantly Christian area he says.

Thealcohol.

Sophia College has scrapped all highest Catholic body of the western region. cult oversentiments the world (India includ- has taken beertill gastronomy another level.

A theyfollowers are usingall those to fan flames. his bookings April next to year, and this will But the loudest noise was made by the fringe ed). company successfully managed of handpicked cheeses are paired with TheyThis are very savvy has in that sense. This is their range likely impact the decision of other venues as group Catholic Secular Forum (CSF) or, as Kai- to find the sweet spot between a craft brewery snobbish wine sommeliers modus operandi.

They are not really con- speciality well. “But Ibeers; know there will be venues that will zaad describes them, “The same guys who and a large Duvel’s beers through might nod insupport approval. cerned aboutfacility. hurt sentiments,” hego adds. come up and us,” he says, in a voice filchased AIB.” anThe additional six-week argument about cold hurtfermentation sentiments led with hope.

“The notion that art can still be dangerous process, which doubles production doesn’t hold water.

Thisits isn’t the first time ashwin rajagopalan is a lifestyle writer based mohini Chennaichaudhuri thrills me,” said Kaizaad, as he addressed a but results arehas well worth it — their signathatthe Agnes of God been staged in India, or in

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the fixed stars, the Moon, and the Sun.” Even when the cylinder was discarded for a sphere, “This system of a spherical Earth surrounded by concentric spheres of water, air, fire, and then the spheres of the heavenly bodies remained the basis for cosmology and physics for the next two millennia.” (Albert van Helden, Measuring the Universe).

As late as 1692, the famous astronomer Edmund Halley erroneously proposed that the Earth was “a hollow shell about 800 km (500 Krishna-Godavari link was conceived to bring miles) thick, two inner concentric shells and succour to the drought-prone Rayalaseema an innermost core, about the diameters of the districts, Venus, while bolstering water supply Atmoto the planets Mars, and Mercury.

Krishna delta region andshells, Prakasam spheres separate these and district. each shell village poles. in West Godavarirotate was hasPattiseema its own magnetic The spheres originally to be the site for linking the at differentmeant speeds…” country’s second-longest river Great discoveries in astronomy were made (Godavari) and its fourth-longest despite the fact that these models were utterly (Krishna). showwrong. Johannes KeplerHeavy foundmonsoon the laws of the ers, however, delayed and planetary even though hework believed Andhra Pradesh is orbits the government was forced to themon to be moving within transparent, crysfully dependent shift the These venuenested to Tadipudi.

It talline Platonic solids. solids, acdams in neighbouring now appears that theMysterium governcording to his book Maharashtra and ment(1596), had been unduly hasty in Cosmographicum are the scaffold that Karnataka for the Pattiseema supports thepushing movement of the orbs, a link. need Chief Minister Chandrabawhich was laterFor dismissed by an understanding of gravity.bu Naidu, who pushed the PLIP at a frenetic pace, it was a day of Similar models of the solar system came mixedfrom feelings.

The twoand rivers were nowon linkdown the Greeks, were passed to ed, but the—much bigger Polavaram project is the Arabs who expanded and detailed this still a few years from completion.

Conceived worldview.

It is through Islamic writers, and decades ago, Kepler the multipurpose Polavaram not through — that the idea of solid project holding proposesthetoorbits transfer surplus spheres in place camewater to InRainbows and pots... Work underway at the Pattiseema Lift Irrigation Project in West Godavari avg prasad from the Godavari to the Krishna at Polavadia and appears in 17th century Varanasi. ram, 960 belonging MW of hydel and Twogenerating astronomers to power rival famn September 16, thousands gath- na to mark the successful culmination of a ilies, irrigating lakh to hectares of the delta. who 11went war over this theory, are ered at Ferry, a village on the banks project that was mooted decades ago.

In the meantime, Pattiseema, a small islet in mentioned in Kim Plofker’s Mathematics In Inof the Krishna river in IbrahimpatSince September 1, about 450 cusecs of wa- dia. the middle of thecosmological Godavari, is anotions scene ofaccepthectic “The Islamic nam mandal, near Vijayawada. ter has been pumped from the Tadipudi lift ir- ed activity.

A few of the 24 pumps required for the

by Kamalakara’s family or school included About 125 km away, in Tadipudi, West Godavari rigation scheme in West Godavari district into the PLIP,concept undertaken

by Megha“crystalline” Engineeringcelesand of transparent district, heavy-duty pumps sprang to life. Wa- the Polavaram right main canal.

Infrastructure have been installed. tial spheres forLtd the(MEIL), physical support and imBy September 15, after travelling nearly pulsion ter from the Godavari gushed against gravity Water was on a trial basis Munisvara’s to the Krishofreleased the orbiting bodies. into the Polavaram right main canal and en- 100km, the water arrived close to the Praka- side na basin through the Polavaram right canal. objected to this idea on the grounds that tered the Krishna about 18km from Vijayawa- sam barrage, near Vijayawada.

However, following a breach in the enough canal a such a material could not be strong As a lower riparian and agrarian state, And- for da. The Krishna and Godavari rivers were couple days later at the Thammileru aquethisof purpose.

If any such spheres existed, finally interlinked through the Pattiseema Lift hra Pradesh is fully dependent on flows from they duct, would water pumping had to beofstopped, givhave to be made metal, conIrrigation Project (PLIP), and a pot of Godavari dams in neighbouring Maharashtra and Kar- forming ing opposition partiesIndian a stick to beat the to traditional descriptions of water was symbolically poured into the Krish- nataka, besides its own catchment areas. The the government with. blue sky as a round metal surface. This debate and related controversies were continued between Kamalakara’s brother and Munisvara’s cousin in two treatises entitled Loha-gola-khandana (“Smashing of the Iron Spheres”) and Loha-gola-samarthana (“Vindication of the Iron Spheres”).”

Unusual here was the discussion about the strength of this material, since aspects of physics are not found often in Indian astronomy. Physically speaking, it could even be pondered whether such a large sphere would not Too big for the palm Emperor Jahangir is shown holding a globe in this Mughal-era painting. The globe is believed to have been made by metallurgist Muhammad Salih Tahtawi wikipedia collapse under its own gravity and become a planet itself.

The mystery of the spheres began to finally n the largest painting to have emerged garded as technically impossible”. clear when astronomers such as Christoph from the Mughal period, emperor JahanThe purpose of these globes was to create a Rothmann and Tycho Brahe studied comets gir (the name means ‘world-seizer’) is map of the night sky as it apthat came from outside the solar seen holding a globe in his right palm. It peared to observers on Earth. system. The comet of 1585, obis believed that this globe was constructed by Since the planets moved gently served Rothmann — was beyond the metallurgist Muhammad Salih Tahtawi. through the sky, but the stars reSaturn and there was no refracGreat discoveries in He was famed for the impossible feat of con- mained fixed in their positions tion by any intervening material. astronomy were structing seamless hollow spheres, leaving no every night — it was thought for The comets were travelling to the a long time that they were at- made despite the fact Sun completely unhindered by tell-tale cavity or crease from its making. that these models Seventeenth century astrolabe makers in tached to something solid — like any invisible spheres, right were utterly wrong Lahore appear to have excelled in this method, jewels inside a giant hollow through the planetary orbits — as called the ‘cire perdue’ (lost wax), a technique sphere. “And we have adorned if nothing at all existed over which is now lost to history. Emilie Savage- the nearest heaven with lamps,” there, not even glass.

Smith writes in a detailed study that “seam- says one translation of the The fixed stars, we know now, lessly cast globes continued to be made in La- Q’uran. are not arrayed like jewels on hore up to the mid-19th century. In 1842, Lala Numerous fantastical visions of Earth’s some finite celestial crown, but scattered like Balhumal Lahuri, a Hindu maker of precision shape and place in the universe have been pro- dust in a universe that may be infinitely large instruments made such a globe, inscribed in posed and discarded since antiquity. Such as — a universe that would fit in the palm of no Arabic and Persian for his Sikh patron.” She Anaximenes of Miletus (sixth century BC), earthly emperor. adds that “no workshop today, anywhere in who held that “the Earth was a cylinder three the world, knows how to do this and indeed times as wide as high, and that it was sur- rohit gupta explores the history of science as the casting of seamless metal spheres is re- rounded by three concentric rings carrying Compasswallah tfadesingh

THE COMPASS CHRONICLES

Two mighty rivers met...

Mystery of the starry sphere Only to engulf Andhra Pradesh in a flood of controversies and finger-pointing

Astronomers proposed and discarded many fantastical visions of the Earth’s shape and place in the universe before understanding that the universe, as we know it now, would fit in the palm of no earthly emperor

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Pizza comes to Italy

Side effects

Dominos wants Italians to try its pie

Things happen to people eating Burger King’s Halloween Whopper

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elling pizzas to Italians may be cheeky. But Dominos doesn’t think so. The American chain debuted in Italy this week, but wisely left behind its boisterous chicken and corn toppings and stuck to Margherita. Dominos has promised pizza’s creators ‘original pizza recipe’ and 100 per cent local ingredients — gorgonzola, grana padano and the rest of it. Italians may like their pie straight off the wood fire, but Dominos wants them to ask for it online. Will mamma mia fall for it? Starbucks would say no.

alloween is a few weeks away but things have already turned spooky for Burger King. Earlier this month, the American fast-food giant introduced a limited edition offering.

Their Halloween Whopper is a flame-grilled beef patty, padded with crunchy pickles, crispy lettuce, red tomatoes, white onions and cheese, and stuffed in a black bun. Sounds yum? Don’t be so sure. Customers who sampled this creation have claimed that their poop has turned a sickly green. For some, the unfortunate condition lasted three days. Could it just be the black or green dye, or, is it an evil spell?

Race to finish Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister N Chandrababu Naidu inaugurates the Pattiseema lift irrigation

ern and southern regions. The Himalayan network will have 14 links, while the peninsular network will have 16 river-links.

After the bifurcation of Andhra Pradesh, the Krishna’s waters were divided between the two states — 512 TMC for AP and 299 TMC for Telangana. The 80 TMC of Godavari floodwaters that will irrigate the parched Rayalaseema will, in turn, generate about ₹2,000 crore in farm incomes annually, says Naidu.

Divided opinion Opposition parties YSR Congress, Congress and Left groups see the PLIP as an interim and unnecessary investment, to make up for the delays in the Polavaram project. They allege that the PLIP was conceived as Polavaram continues to be dogged by controversy.

Additionally, the YSR Congress has levelled charges of corruption in the PLIP. Party leader Jyothula Nehru, from East Godavari, says that while no one is opposed to linking the two rivers, the Pattiseema is not only wasteful but alworks in West Godavari district s rambabu so dangerous. “There are apprehensions over it in the Godavari districts, but the governDrought-proof ments of Rayalaseema,” he adds. ment is going ahead in a tearing hurry, withFor Naidu, the Krishna-Godavari link constituDuring a flood, the 24 motors can discharge out addressing the issues,” he says. tes a major step in drought-proofing the state. 8,000 cusecs of water for 120 days.

V Arun Kumar, a former MP from RajahmunAnnually an estimated 3,000 TMC (thouAccording to Ramana Rao, associate vice- dry, terms it a “bogus project” designed to sand million cubic feet) of Godavari water president of MEIL, which is overseeing the Pat- serve only the interests of contractors and rulempties wastefully into the sea. According to tiseema project, “As of October 6, four pumps ing party leaders. ho caresHe if the Nitish-Lalu comalleges that costs have the Bachawat Tribunal judgement and an in- and four motors are at an advanced stage of in- been grossly bine wins orfor loses in Bihar?So, I was inflated kickbacks. while ter-state agreement between Maharashtra, stallation. One pump is operational and the everyone promised andcompletion top-notch of is in good favourfood of early Madhya Pradesh and AP, 80 TMC of Godavari’s rest will be installed by early whisky onthe thePolavaram campaignproject, trail. Now they the Pattiwaters can be directed to the Krishna. tell me the election has di2016. Similar pumps have been seema projectcommission is causing deep The foundation for the PLIP was laid on installed in projects like the fixed a budget candidates: a measly visionsforamong the people.

Only March 29, its phase one was inaugurated on Handri Neeva Srujala Sravanthi,” ₹28 lakh!the I still have Desam vivid memories Telugu Party andofthe August 15, and the waters were released on he adds. the mutton biryani served in 2010…

BJP have backed the PLIP. If the government September 16, making this river-linking not diverts some ofThese the days I come home for breakfast just peninsular India’s first but also one that Make-in-India project and dinner.

At thewaters party headquarters, Troubled water to fill local has been achieved in record time. even snacks BiryaniacThe decades-old idea of interlin- tanks, we will benefit.

Afterhave thedisappeared.

Polavaram project The ₹1,300-crore PLIP will deploy 24 pumps king rivers was given serious has madequired way for poha, chai comesstatus, in a ‘national project’ Otherwise, we have to lift water from the Godavari and divert it in- consideration periodically, espefor rum. All say…

Jab tak rahega satheI will costs have escalated from nothing to gain to the Krishna at the Prakasam barrage. It is ex- cially in the early 90s, and again mose mein₹16,000 alu, Bihar main crore in rahenge 2011-12 toNitish an estipected to be fully operational by the year-end, by the NDA government in the aur Lalu. mated ₹25,000 crore today. in time for the next flood season, bringing 80 early noughties. Previously, While the left and right canal TMC of water to the Krishna river. there were proposals to link the works are at an advanced stage of This will directly benefit the delta region of Ganga and Cauvery in 1972, when KL Rao was completion, the head works need attention.

East and West Godavari, and Krishna districts. union water minister, and in 1977, when CapWhen implemented, the Polavaram project “It will be a boon to farmers. The surplus water tain Dinshaw Dastur proposed the idea of a will submerge 288 villages, affecting nearly will be used to cultivate eight lakh acres, ‘garland canal’ around Himalayan, central 50,000 people. Despite Naidu’s assurances which are currently dependent on Krishna wa- and peninsular India. that the project will see completion by 2018-19, ter and the monsoons,” says Adityanath Das, In February 2012, following Supreme Court the government has its task cut out — tackling principal secretary, Irrigation. approval, the National Water Development displacements, addressing neighbouring “And the water which flows into the Krishna Agency was entrusted with the task of moni- states’ concerns and raising funds. barrage from Srisailam and Nagarjunasagar toring the project. The ambitious project aims dams upstream will now be diverted to meet to harness the potential of Himalayan and From the fields the irrigation and drinking water require- peninsular rivers and divert them to the west- Some of the local farmers near the Pattiseema project site are aggrieved that they have not received adequate compensation for the lands they have lost to the project. The government acquired about 160 acres for laying pipelines, at ₹19.5 lakh per acre, but the farmers contend that some of the lands could fetch ₹20-25 lakh per acre.

“Godavari delta farmers are worried as it is one thing to build a large dam like Polavaram, es, we are fans of the sexagecreate storage and divert water to Krishna, but narian, wily politician from it is an entirely different thing to lift water Bihar. Especially after his dubsfrom a flowing river,” says Srinivas, a local mash debut. Posted on the Rashfarmer. triya Janata Dal (RJD) YouTube Meesala Appanna, another farmer, minces channel, the video shows a sweatno words: “It (PLIP) is of no use to us. If the govshirt-clad Lalu Prasad Yadav ernment diverts some of the water to fill local mimicking the prime minister’s tanks, we will benefit. Otherwise, we have favourite catchphrase: “Mere nothing to gain.” bhaiyon aur behenon… achche din, The real beneficiaries would be farmers in tracked scents of food and beverages achche din… aanewale hain.” It the Krishna delta, and later those in Rayalasee(think waffles, sausages, asparagus, seems Lalu is taking Digital India ma when water from Srisailam and Nagarjucheese, chocolate powder, et al), trafseriously. But will the potshots at nasagar gets diverted. The water supply to the fic (yes, they too have fumes), cleanAmit Shah’s girth and Narendra Krishna region would be met by Godavari and ing agents, greenery and so on. But Modi’s empty promises translate to Rayalaseema from Krishna, possibly by the the smell of damp — thanks to the into votes? next monsoon. city’s many canals — emerged the Opposing stream YSR Congress legislators protest against the alleged corruption in PLIP mohammed yousuf v rishi kumar and ch rs sarma strongest.

Campaigns get stingy No perks for being an election wallflower

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Dubsmash debut

Lalu Prasad Yadav hits back at Narendra Modi

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The scent of Amsterdam The Dutch capital smells of decay

A

msterdam does not smell of just coffee and cannabis. Smell-scape researchers have recorded 650 scents in the Dutch capital, which attracts about 1.5 million tourists every year for those specially licensed coffee shops. Through smell-walks held over four days, a team of enthusiasts

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saturday, october 10, 2015

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in-faq by joy bhattacharjya

J

ack Daniel, the man who introduced the good old Tennessee whiskey to the world, passed away on October 10, 1911. We salute his spirit.

here,there & elsewhere

Tipple talk

1

Waking up

L

et’s be clear: I am an urban person.

Mornings are not my favourite time of the day. I prefer to have my own room and bathroom. I am used to deciding how to organise my day’s schedule based on my needs rather than someone else’s. I like using electronic gadgets such as computers and cell phones. But here on the farm, it’s like we’ve travelled to another planet and I’ve become a different person altogether.

It begins with waking up early. The eastern horizon has barely shown a glimmer of light, but my eyes open of their own accord. The air is crisp and still. The room is in darkness and the fluorescent stars that had been stuck onto the ceiling are now invisible. But a tickle of scent wafts up from the kitchen downstairs via the small square grate pierced through the sturdy wooden planks of the floor. It’s the only way that heat from the wood-fire stove can penetrate upstairs. Along with heat comes the scent of coffee: Grace is grinding beans for her first cup of the day using an old-fashioned rotary hand-operated mill.

Bins is an early riser. He’s already gone down. It’s still dark in the room, but I gather

cornerstone

together a second layer of clothes and put them on in the gloom because the quality of light is so magical I don’t want to turn on the light. There’s nothing but the grey-blue dawn showing through the small glass panes of the window. All the surfaces I can see around me are made of wood, paper and cotton, iron, glass and ceramic: no plastic anywhere in sight, no nylon, no polystyrene. To disturb this tranquil darkness with an incandescent light feels sacrilegious.

I creep downstairs. The stairs turn sharply, twice, with no hand-rail: it’s a

perilous journey. Downstairs, Birk is still on his couch, dead to the world, like a felled giant. Bins and Grace are leaning on the tiny kitchen counter talking softly; on the black iron hob of the wood-stove a copper kettle approaches the boil. Both dogs get to their feet, their tails wagging slowly. “Sleep okay?” asks Grace. “Like a log,” I respond and Bins adds, “... and snoring like a diesel engine!” I bop him on the shoulder and look around, wanting to explore.

“You can let the dogs out,” suggests Grace. “They always need to pee.” I open the door and they practically push me over as they burst out. The air feels as if it’s full of tiny invisible crystals. I grab my windcheater from where I left it hanging up last night, just by the door and step out: brrrr! My breath emerges in soft white clouds. I look left and right, my eyes stinging because of the sharp dry air. I take in the tilting plane of the land, the barn in front of me, the trees rimming the horizon in all directions, the pearl-grey sky.

A skein of geese flies overhead right then, heading south. “Oh! You must be cold!” I say to them, waving. “Yes, yes, yes ...” they honk, hurrying away. manjula padmanabhan, author and artist, writes of her life in the fictional town of Elsewhere, US, in this weekly column

Ouzo, a distilled 96 per cent pure ethyl spirit mixed with anise, is the best-known spirit from Greece. But which specific part of Greece is associated with raki, a fragrant grape-based pomace brandy that is comparatively a mild 45-50 per cent proof?

2

Which well-known cocktail is also the name of a mine near Santiago de Cuba and was supposedly invented by an American engineer named Jennings Cox, who was in Cuba during the Spanish-American War. It was introduced to the US by a Congressman named William Chanler.

3

Which cocktail, described by writer HL Mencken as ‘the only American invention as perfect as a sonnet,” also comes in the varieties ‘dirty’ and ‘perfect?’

4

Which cocktail made from stout and champagne was created by the bartender of Brooks’ club to mourn the death of Prince Albert, Queen Victoria’s consort, in 1861?

5

Absolut Vodka has long been associated with artists who have painted their versions of the classic bottle. Indians Manish Arora and Subodh Gupta are among those who have contributed to Absolut’s art collection. But who was the first well-known artist to paint an Absolut bottle?

6

With which specific island in the Inner Hebrides would you associate the distilleries of Laphroaig, Lagavulin and Ardbeg, renowned for their smoky flavour derived from peat?

7 8 9

Two-thirds of the beer produced in the world today is inspired by the pale lager produced in which city in Bohemia since the 13th century?

Which drink of rum, weak beer and lime juice is named after the cloth worn by British admiral Edward Vernon in the 18th century?

In which seminal work of the ’60s would you come across the Moloko Plus, described as ‘milk with knives in it’, which would get the protagonists in the mood for some ‘ultraviolence?’

10

Which word, associated with wine, is derived from the name of the court official in charge of the transfer and carriage of supplies and was probably the name of the pack animal driver?

ANSWERS 1. The island of Crete 2. The daiquiri, typically made of rum, lime juice and a sweetener 3. The martini, made of gin and vermouth. ‘Dry’ is the most common version, made from white vermouth.

‘Dirty’ normally has olive juice and possibly an olive.

The ‘perfect’ version has equal parts of sweet and dry vermouth 4. The black velvet, symbolising the black armbands worn by mourners 5. Andy Warhol 6. Islay; the northern side of the island also has the Caol Ila distillery, also renowned for its peaty taste 7. The town of Pilsen, or Plzen, in the Czech Republic 8. Grog, the standard drink issued in the British navy till the 20th century. The lime was infused to prevent scurvy. Grog got its name from the Grogham cloth worn by the admiral, who was referred to as ‘Old Grog’ 9. The Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. Moloko Plus is Nadsat for ‘Milk Plus’ 10. Sommelier. Today a sommelier is a professional knowledgeable in both wines and food pairing

joy bhattacharjya is a quizmaster and Project Director, FIFA U-17 World Cup t@joybhattacharj

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