Winter 2021: The Renaissance Issue by The Peacock Magazine

“These studies sustain youth and entertain old age, they enhance prosperity, and offer a refuge and solace in adversity; they delight us when we are at home without hindering us in the wider world, and are with us at night, when we travel and when we we visit the countryside.” Pro Archia by Cicero

Winter 2021 / Volume 11.1 A MAGAZINE ON THE CULTURE AND ASPIRATIONS OF INTERNATIONAL YOUTH

Editor-in-Chief Abby Wright Art Director Abia Noumbissi Photography Director Sofia Rose Deputy Editor Lindsey Varkevisser Deputy Art Director Corrie Delva Editorial Advisor Marc Feustel Managing Editor Ethan Flanagan Communications Manager Sophia Constantino Photographers Bikramjeet Bose Prabuddha Dasgupta Celia Goodman Atul Kasbekar Louis Mack Lola Mansell Sofia Rose

This magazine is printed by Tanghe Printing, Belgium Cover illustration by Stella Richman

Illustrators Kara Booker Claire English Agata Korzystam Kyaira Mitchell Abia Noumbissi Gabi O’Leary Stella Richman Sofia Rose Amir Webb Kira Winter Staff Writers Sukhada Borse Corrie Delva Séamus Malekafzali Sofia Quintero Lola Rock Madita Schrott Isabella Sibble Lindsey Varkevisser Contributing Writers Sarah Affonso Ethan Flanagan Leigh Lucaßen Lauren Nanes Rachel Nielsen Mary Noorlander Paulina Trigos Linnea Wingerup

table of contents 4

6-7 Letter from the Editor 8-11 Reflections on Whistleblowers How whistleblowers changed the course of history

Sofia Quintero

12-17 Guiding Light Four AUP students share moments of sudden peace, hope and inspiration

Sukhada Borse

18-20 Embracing the Niche Tiktok’s influence on identity accepance and uniqueness

Corrie Delva

21-25 Show Don’t Tell Although AUP has made efforts to become more inclusive, the lived experiences of its queer community suggest otherwise

Leigh Lucaßen

26-29 Spaced Out Exploring humanity’s relationship with the extraterrestrial

Lindsey Varkevisser

30-32 It’s Okay to Cry Celebrating the life and legacy of one of pop music’s biggest innovators

Ethan Flanagan 5

33-40 With Love, Your Devoted Translator Recovering my great-grandfather’s legacy through the art of translation

Paulina Trigos

41-43 Brown Does Not Belong Backstage! Three generations of Indian models tell their story

Sarah Affonso

44-47 Kabul Under the White Flag As cameras turn away from Afghanistan, a new Taliban government takes shape amid Western attempts at isolation, leaving the populace trapped

Séamus Malekafzali

48-57 Portraits of Intimacy Photo essay

Sofia Rose

58-62 The Creative Transformation of Peacock Four former Art Directors discuss the publication’s creative evolution and where it might be headed next

Lauren Nanes

63-67 Trouble in the Gayborhood On the male domination of queer spaces and who is left behind

Isabella Sibble 6

68-71 The Blissful Irony of Cottagecore An escape from reality through an idyllic internet haven

Linnea Wingerup

72-79 The New Dating Game What are reality dating shows teaching us about modern love?

Lola Rock

80-83 Violent Delights True crime media seems to be the new public execution, so how do we engage with it ethically?

Mary Noorlander

84-86 More Than a Face Mask & A Green Juice Exposing the harsh realities of self-care

Sofia Quintero

87-90 The Ethical Dilemma of Vintage Fur Is wearing vintage fur a proponent of animal cruelty or a statement on sustainable fashion?

Madita Schrott

91-94 Differences Aside Photo essay

Louis Mack

95-96 A Love Letter to Peacock Reflecting on the publication’s 10th anniversary

Rachel Nielsen 7

he Renaissance was born from tragedy. Some historians speculate that as a result of the devastation caused by the Black Death, people began to consider the meaning of their existence on Earth, as opposed to what mysteries awaited them in the afterlife. Slowly but steadily arising from this prolonged period of despair, the Renaissance eclipsed the Dark Ages, ultimately becoming one of the most prosperous periods in history. When thinking about the context of the 16th century Renaissance, I couldn’t help but reflect on where we might be headed as we too, slowly, steadily begin to detach ourselves from a pandemic which sunk its teeth into every layer of our modern existence. But to begin to imagine what the world might look like moving forward felt too daunting to envision. Renaissance thinkers, however, didn’t gaze upon their uncertain future with apprehension; they welcomed it with open arms. Moreover, they studied their past mistakes, actions and traditions and transformed them into opportunities for change. As we began the first “normal” semester since Spring 2020, I wanted to embody a sense of community and this love for the unknown, in combination with a reflection on our past. How can we do better? In which directions can we move to better our future? What is important to us as we continue forward? What will define our generation? Although the world is far from leaving tragedy behind, the goal of this issue is not to flounder in the despair of it all, but to look at all that the world was and be hopeful for all that it may become. This semester’s issue of Peacock is devoted to the dedication this generation has towards change. Throughout this issue, contributors analyze our past and express hopes for our future. In a captivating conversation with three Indian

models, Sarah Affonso urges us to think about the images of beauty we will share with generations to come. Isabella Sibble brilliantly investigates the history of gayborhoods in Paris and a lack of inclusivity today. Through a critical analysis Mary Noorlander explores true crime as both a defense mechanism for women and a danger towards minority communities. Pieces in this issue also depict today’s thriving cultural landscape: Linnea Wingerup explores the blooming online community found within the cottagecore aesthetic. A photo essay by Sofia Rose captures the intimacy of home and personal spaces. Paulina Trigos learns about the delicate work of translation by unraveling the mystery of her great-grandfather’s poetry. The Renaissance was also a period of celebration and accomplishment; for the publication’s 10th anniversary, it was only fitting that the theme reflected such a spirit. Rachel Nielsen, co-founder of the Peacock, dedicates a love letter to the publication 10 years after its inception. The goal of this issue is not to mimic the Renaissance word for word. Although its legacy guided us, this issue ultimately represents a Renaissance of the current age. The pieces throughout this magazine act as a conversation on a modern-day “rebirth.” On subjects ranging from politics to the LGBTQ+ community to reality TV, dialogues form on the changes this generation seeks for its future. As you read through this issue, I encourage you as well to take part in the wider conversation of renewal. What will rebirth mean to us? Yours,

Abby Wright I would like to extend a special thank you to everyone who contributed to this magazine. Thank you to Abia Noumbissi and Sofia Rose for their dedication to the visuals of this issue. Thank you to Editorial Advisor Marc Feustel whose patience for my infinite torrent of questions deserves endless respect. Thanks as well to Lindsey Varkevisser and Linnea Wingerup for their enthusiasm for copyediting. This issue would not have been possible without the support of Peacock Media, AUP Student Media and the American University of Paris. I hope that this magazine is as exciting to read as it was to put together with you.

Reflections on Whistleblowers Looking back on whistleblowers and how they changed the course of history By Sofia Quintero Illustrated by Abia Noumbissi

orruption, secrecy and personal gain have always been a part of humanity. Whether it is done out of instinct or learned from past experiences, we have repeatedly seen major scandals having to do with misinformation, international security and privacy throughout our history. But how did these secrets come to light? For most people, the words Watergate, Edward Snowden and Wuhan ring a bell, but what do they have in common? All of these have to do with scandals involving whistleblowers. Defined as “a person who voluntarily provides information to the general public, or someone in a position of authority, about dishonest or illegal business activities occurring at an organization,” whistleblowers have gone from shameful to heroic. There is a long and controversial debate regarding whistleblowers and their integrity. On one hand, companies and governments expect their workers to be loyal and committed to what they stand for, how it works and what it

accomplishes. On the other hand, what happens when there is a turn that involves the security of others? For all these whistleblowers, it is simply a matter of principle. Although whistleblowing brings the values of fairness and loyalty into conflict, the greater good tends to overpower the consequences that may come after.

“There is a moral motivator behind why most people whistle blow. These are people that believe in everyone’s freedom to information and right of knowledge.” I spoke to Thalia Weissman, an undergraduate student at AUP pursuing a major in Global Communications, who shares a view on whistleblowers that most of Gen-Z can relate to.

“Releasing information that is beneficial foreveryone is more important if it is made public. Then, there is no longer a power struggle or leverage of only some people knowing about it. We should all be able to know what could hurt or benefit us.” Lauren Nanes, a senior at AUP pursuing a double major in History, Law and Society and Journalism shared her thoughts as well: “Whistleblowers politically have a bad reputation. It is not something you aspire to do but there is something honorable about whistleblowing. There is a moral motivator behind why most people whistle blow. These are people that believe in everyone’s freedom to information and right of knowledge,” she says. A renowned case of whistleblowing happened in 1974, when the Watergate scandal was taken by storm by the tabloids and the media. Leading to President Richard Nixon’s resignation, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, two investigative journalists from the Washington Post, were able to confirm corruption when whistleblower Mark Felt sent in an anonymous tip. As reported by The Guardian, “it was thanks to Felt that America finally reasserted, with Nixon’s forced resignation, that no one – not even the president – is above the law.” At the time, Felt was the Associate Director at the FBI. When he began to leak information to Woodward and Bernstein, he remained anonymous and was never quoted directly; he believed his persona had to be kept secret. It was not until 2005 that Felt revealed his identity as the Watergate whistleblower, who came to be known by his nickname, “Deep Throat.” Nanes understands why Felt wanted to remain anonymous: “There is always going to be certain danger attached to whatever information is being released, [but] I think that because of the more general support that people have for whistleblowers, it is becoming more common and necessary to have a name attached for legitimacy.” When Edward Snowden, a former computer

Dr. Li Wenliang

intelligence consultant, leaked highly classified information from the National Security Agency in 2013, he revealed information that would change the world for the years to come. The documents he leaked revealed multiple global surveillance programs, most of them run by the National Security Agency and the Five Eyes Intelligence Alliance. Alongside the cooperation of telecommunication companies and European governments, this leak prompted a cultural discussion about national security and individual privacy. What is truly fascinating about Snowden is everything that happened after the fact. Conversations concerning government secrecy, privacy and global surveillance were taking place and would ultimately cause changes within the technology industry and our daily lives. Almost a decade later, what is now known as the Snowden Effect increased public knowledge and concern about the rights people hold over their information security and online privacy. In 2015, the U.S Senate passed the USA Freedom Act, which aims to end the bulk collection of millions of Americans’ phone records. However, some countries do not protect whistleblowers. This was the case with Dr. Li Wenliang, an ophthalmologist from Wuhan, China, who warned on his Weibo page, China’s Twitter-like social media, that he had tested positive for a disease similar to SARS. A couple 11

of weeks later this would be known as COVID19, a novel coronavirus strain that would lead to a global pandemic, taking the lives of over 5 million people worldwide. When the information initially came to light, the police reprimanded Li for spreading rumors. It was not until Wenliang’s death due to COVID-19 that he became an important figure across China and the world.

“In our current climate, whistleblowers are necessary. If everything was transparent, they probably would not be, but that is not the case.”

Frances Haugen

divides populations, spreads false information and manipulates its users. “Facebook harms chil“Whistleblowers want to release information dren, sows division and undermines democracy that benefits us to know. They are revealing what in pursuit of breakneck growth and astronomical governments and companies try to censor or profits,” she says. hide,” says Weissman, “I think that as citizens Weissman had a strong opinion regarding the we have a right to know what is happening, so media. “Media is quite ubiquitous. Information it is good that we have people who will stand up has to do with power, so if we can be empowered to large establishments.” Nanes adds: “In our in a way that consumes every day then perhaps it current climate, whistleblowers are necessary. If is a good thing. I think that whistleblowers can be everything was transparent, they probably would necessary, [because] I don’t know if there would not be, but that is not the case.” be any other way we would be able to get this With the rise of social media and digital spaces, valuable information out to the public.” misinformation and fake news have never been Whistleblowers today have gone from being easier to spread. Facebook, one of the online seen as shameful and disloyal, to heroic and vital. giants, has been accused time and time again Generation Z is aware of how important the right of illegal behavior and exploitation. In 2016, to information is, regardless of how the inforFacebook manipulated the 2016 U.S. presidenmation is brought to light. Whistleblowers have tial elections, when the network played with the come a long way since the 1970s and are now algorithm alongside British political consulting respected. Whistleblowing is the ethical thing to firm, Cambridge Analytica, to manipulate the do, and it allows the exposure of wrongdoings. results. Frances Haugen, a former Facebook data From Felt to Haugen, these brave individuals have scientist, recently sparked rage across the globe helped progress the battle of transparency and by leaking information and confidential docuaccountability. ments to The Wall Street Journal on how the site

Mark Felt

Edward Snowden 13

Guidin

ng Light

Four AUP students share moments of sudden peace, hope and inspiration By Sukhada Borse Photography by Sofia Rose 15

ightbulb moments are the beginning of elative hope. The fog has settled, and you are now in the clear; you can see again. After hours of effort and being in the dark, you’ve cracked the code. You did it—you understood, and you alone got yourself to this point. These moments may be big or small, but they are ubiquitous. There is a certain confidence that comes with figuring something out because it shows we are capable. Highlighting these lightbulb moment stories is more important than ever, following the general state of uncertainty amidst the pandemic along with the overwhelming social and political climate of the world. That’s the reality, though, and we’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m hoping that sharing others’ lightbulb moments may help you reflect on your own. What is one of your lightbulb moments? “It was my first college class I had ever attended; it was a Political Science class, and I remember being so nervous about whether or not I belonged or fit into this world of academia.” “I sat down, and my professor came in. Listening to her go through the class syllabus, this feeling washed over me that I was meant to be here.” “I realized I used to romanticize academia as a child, and I guess I finally came to terms with the fact that I love learning and I’m just curious about so many things that my identity is linked to being a lifelong learner.” How did this lightbulb moment make you feel? “It made me feel comfortable and secure in my environment. There is something very surreal in feeling like you are where you’re meant to be in life.” 16

“I’m doing something I want to be doing…I want this so I am pursuing it, and that is such a worthwhile satisfaction.” How has it impacted the way you interact with others? “It made me a much more honest communicator; like having this certainty in what I wanted to do in lifemade the way I convey my passion and my personality more authentic. People get to see the real me more as I have this cornerstone of understanding in myself.” “I can accurately articulate where I want to be in my life; I am just more open in general.” How has it changed the way you feel about yourself? “I feel like I am way more grounded as an individual because I understood this about myself, and it makes me more excited about my future endeavors… it’s such an invigorating feeling to know that I am on the path that is for me; it feels exciting.” “I feel like I am present and being true to myself which has definitely given me more confidence.”

Claire Moberg 20 years old A naturally inquisitive and observant girl who is happy to be a lifelong learner; she aspires to be a constantly open-minded individual

What is one of your lightbulb moments? “In January of 2021, I started to look into the possibility of being on the autism spectrum, and within my research, I ended up picking up a book by an autistic author and it explored themes of love and being on the spectrum without wanting to accept that…and I think that it when it really solidified for me that I am also on the spectrum.”

way I am… It has made me so much more patient with myself and it saved my life; I feel like I am worth it now… like I am justified in my existence.”

Caden Armstrong, 21 years old

“I have never felt so seen or touched as I had when I read this book.” How did this lightbulb moment make you feel? “Relieved… I finally felt like it all made sense, and connecting the dots just gave me a firmer grasp of a reality that I had been masking for so long. I always knew deep down that I was different because I had a hard time interacting with others, and would often get ostracized because of it, and I would never understand what is wrong with me.” “But now, this is a starting point for me where I can explain my tendencies with my diagnosis and my recognition of being on the spectrum.” How has it impacted the way you interact with others?

An autistic creative writer who loves anything and everything to do with books, history, and all things artsy; she is passionate about self-expression within her own creative writing.

“It has made me much more aware and patient with others as I felt like I could finally tell them where this is coming from rather than being taken the wrong way or being put in more awkward situations.” What is one of your lightbulb moments? How has it changed the way you feel about yourself? “I don’t feel broken anymore; I thought I used to not work… and I finally am okay with being the

“I was part of this youth volunteering organization that was actively involved in raising awareness for environmental policy in the Netherlands as well as individual action” 17

What is one of your lightbulb moments? “I was getting discouraged with how little the Netherlands government was concerned with climate change especially when the floods were happening in my hometown.” “I was facing a lot of climate anxiety.” “I went to a climate strike organization and one of my colleagues encouraged me when I was really feeling like my actions were insignificant. She said, ‘I understand the stress, but there are 17 billion people on this planet, and if everyone thinks like that, then obviously nothing will change. If all 17 billion people think their actions do matter, then that can enact positive change.’” “I understood that I still have power in this situation, and my individual action is still a significant part of the movement towards a better environment

“I used to be so quick to judge other peoples’ decisions when it came to how they were treating the environment…I needed to be more open-minded and less judgmental about people who might not necessarily be aware.” “I’ve gotten into really communicating science in a way that is easy for everyone to understand.” How has it changed the way you feel about yourself? “I feel more empowered now than ever…I understand what my role and purpose is in effecting positive change towards a healthier planet. I’m not saying that my role alone will solve the entire issue, but I’m glad to know that what I do and the decisions I make still matter when it comes to saving the planet and curbing climate change.” “I feel like my actions are legitimate and purposeful which is something I hadn’t felt in a while.

How did this lightbulb moment make you feel? “It made me feel more optimistic about the future. I felt like I could be at peace knowing that I have some form of control in the situation no matter how small it might be.” “It gave me hope and inspiration when I was really so tunnel-visioned with institutional change… in a way I was taking away my own power but having this made me feel a little more at peace in a very terrifying situation.” How has it impacted the way you interact with others? “It’s made me more empathetic and understanding.”

Lindsey Varkevisser 19 years old An optimist who just wants to leave the world a better place than we found it

“One of the biggest reasons I love journalism is that it allows me to interact with other areas of interest like politics… and when I was in computer science, I didn’t feel compelled or in a place where I could have discussions with other people about politics.” “It makes me feel like I can be open in discussing what I think about things, but it has also made me more careful in how I present myself as I have to think very carefully before I speak as it is a sign of professionalism as well.” Jacob Shropshire, 19 years old A compassionate individual who wants to help people make their voices and messages as effective as possible

How has it changed the way you feel about yourself?

“I think I had boxed myself in for a while… I always had this idea or expectation in my head about being a computer science major and then What is one of your lightbulb moments? becoming a programmer without thinking of other possibilities, but this change… it gave me so “I always thought that I was going to do comput- much more freedom and power to choose someer science and pursue a career in tech, but I took thing that opened more doors than I could have one journalism class as an elective, and in just two imagined.” weeks, I shifted my entire worldview.” “Things that I thought would be hobbies can now How did this lightbulb moment make you be my job, and that is such a freeing feeling; I feel feel? more empowered and forthright in my decisions, for sure.” “There was a little bit of anxiety surrounding my decision as it all happened quite quickly, and it A common theme in these stories is that we was a completely new direction from what I had are all learning and figuring it out as we go—this thought my career trajectory was, so that is a little is humanity. We all deserve to feel like we are intimidating, but it was also very exciting.” enough as we are in our present states, and that we are capable of doing whatever we want to “I realized it’s pretty simple, I just had to do what pursue. Let the light into your life and let yourself felt right and what I love and pursuing journalism grow and learn from the darkness. Let the light allowed me more freedom to do that.” bask over you and your existence because every single human being’s reality is radiant. How has it impacted the way you interact with others? 19

Embracing the niche

Exploring Tik Tok’s influence on identity acceptance and uniqueness By Corrie Delva

t’s 2 A.M. on a Tuesday and I find myself just now realizing the time, but also that I have been glued to my phone, not moving much for the past two hours. What has consumed my time, you may ask? TikTok. Originally released in 2016 as Douyin in China, the app has captured the attention of millions of youth worldwide post-pandemic. Like all social media platforms, it has been criticized for its addictive and influential control over young minds; however, it is not praised enough for the good it has perpetuated within the generation. Because of TikTok’s unique algorithm and almost nonexistent barriers to entry, one is able to create a fan base solely on their likeability with those who view their content. Niche creators of all sorts have attained enormous followings through TikTok which any other app would not allow for. An intrigue which most of Tiktok’s critics have yet to understand, as they have not used the app long enough to reap its benefits. Unlike any other social media platform, TikTok has taken advantage of the raw intrigue of individuals. To explain the app plainly, once opened, you’re brought to the “For You” page (FYP). The user is not given full autonomy over the

videos which appear on the FYP, but the more the user watches and interacts through likes, comments and direct messages, the more personalized their page becomes. This way, the algorithm gives the user simultaneously more and less control over what they consume. Only after these interactions does the FYP personalize towards the user’s interests and create a more curated viewing experience. Additionally, because of this feature, TikTok allows for vir-

Unlike any other social media platform, TikTok has taken advantage of the raw intrigue of individuals. tually anyone to appear on the FYP and gain attention; the content we want to see to finds us, while on other social media platforms, we

must find it for ourselves. When speaking to several of my peers about their TikTok consumption, I received patterns in their use and how it has changed their lifestyles completely. While they all create videos themselves, participating in producing content for the TikTok community, their consumption is very influential on their perceptions of the app. Annie Kong, a sophomore at NYU, has been interested and involved with fashion, cooking and fitness for a long time. She explained to me how after downloading TikTok, she was able to redefine what health and wellness means to her, guided by the varying experiences of those who appeared on her FYP. “I used to think you had to stick to a certain [eating] routine and never fall off it, and if I did, it was really bad and I would punish myself. Now, I realize it’s all about balance and I should not overthink [the] way I eat, because it’s really just food.” Understanding how unique food and exercise can be to each individual, she has since let go of many toxic eating regimens, due to TikTokers like Katelynn Nolan (@katelynnnolan), a healthy lifestyle vlogger. Creators like Nolan are actively dismantling traditional dieting precepts that have been spewed in society for years. Kong also explains how at a school as enormous as NYU, with around 50,000 students, viral TikTok videos surrounding NYU culture bring her closer to her community. Videos surrounding the food court selection of the week or a particular local celebrity are often the topic of conversation in her classrooms, and help bridge connections between her and the rest of the student body. This really makes TikTok more than a place to waste time, but a space for comfort and opportunity for real-world connections. Paloma Lanoix-Simmoneaux, a junior at AUP has similar experiences with the app, even though her FYP is quite different from Kong’s: “Other people talk about their experiences, and I’m able

to see so much more that goes on in the world, things outside of my bubble of reality.” LanoixSimmoneaux describes her FYP to have a lot of astrology, fashion and animal videos, which epitomize her interests. She told me how Tiktok has veered her attention towards parts of her life she previously ignored, like spirituality. For instance, Tiktok creator @e.mo.tions often pops up on her FYP warning her about the next retrograde or important astrological date, and she stays in tune with the changes in her life which correspond with major astronomical events. Although the app has allowed her to become a part of a niche online community, Lanoix-Simmoneaux does note that, “those who create on the app are not necessarily ‘famous’ so their impact is completely different from traditional celebrities.” Videos which appear on the FYP are from individuals so relatable sometimes it strikes a bit of indignation when comparing lifestyles. “You find out that [it] exists and then you want it, and that could be a bit dangerous,” she says. Overall, both women use TikTok in the same way most youth do, as quick entertainment during their day, but the app does also prove to have major changes in these women’s lives. There is a new opportunity for perspective through this app. With an immense scope of content, I can learn about firsthand experiences of a Lebanese mother, or some of the daily challenges of a teen with Tourette’s. In the confines of my Paris apartment, I can get a sneak peek of the lives of individuals just like me, all around the world. In my experience, TikTok has allowed me to express myself in the most uninhibited of ways. Prior to downloading the app, I was a hater like most, thinking the app was primarily for silly dances or YouTube rejects to post their face a million times a day. But throughout the pandemic, when I had not much else to do but succumb to TikTok’s grasp, I became infatuated with the range of content I could see. Anything I previously 21

thought too “out there” to be glorified or celebrated, parts of my personality that I thought were a bit too weird, I found whole communities for in TikTok. Creators like Tom Simmermaker (@ tomsimmo), a kooky forty-year-old who makes comedic videos of seemingly everything, or certain untraditional artists such as Nianne Minor (@nianneart) or Pierre Santos (@theindigo_kid), who use traditional aspects of self-portraits and distort faces, creating abstract and marvelous pieces of art, from whom I often find inspiration when I create. Overall, TikTok has helped me become comfortable in my “otherness”; I now understand everyone is an “other” in their unique ways of expressing themselves. Every video TikTok shows

on my FYP is a singular individual’s narrative. Sure, there might be loads of trendy and inauthentic pieces of the app, like every big social media platform is bound to accumulate, but the global potential TikTok has to bridge connections between those living vastly differing lives is incredible. TikTok’s slogan is Real Videos, Real People. Gen-Z has been called out for our unique approach to experiencing and critiquing the world, but TikTok has played a larger role in this expression. It is not just a social media platform: it is a space where real people can share their real experiences, has allowed for a real upheaval of creative liberty and will continue to foster unbashed self-expression.

It is not just a social media platform: it is a space where real people can share their real experiences, has allowed for a real upheaval of creative liberty and will continue to foster unbashed self-expression.

show don’t tell Although the American University of Paris has made efforts to become more inclusive, the experiences of its queer community suggests otherwise By Leigh Lucaßen Illustration by Sofia Rose 23

eing queer in 2021 is a multifaceted experience: one of struggle, of joy, of transition and of revolution. Queer people are continuously breaking free from an existence in the margins of society, pushing towards representation in public and a recognition of their fight for equality, all the while finding new ways to express their identities, in language as in actions. In reaction to these demands, institutions are becoming increasingly aware of a need for inclusive language, queer-informed services and the creation of spaces that allow all sexualities and gender identities to feel safe and welcome. As such, The American University of Paris has made efforts in the past semesters to accommodate better for its queer students, often inspired by or in collaboration with student initiatives. However, there appears to be a disconnect between the university’s commitments and the lived experience of LGBTQ+ students. Despite the administration’s recent efforts towards gender inclusive language on campus, many non-binary and genderqueer students report that they are still being misgendered in the classroom. Other students believe the university to be lacking resources aimed at queer students, and many are not aware of the few resources that do exist. In order to create an image of the queer experience at AUP, I spoke with staff, faculty and students about accommodation, commitments and the queer community on campus. The Fall 2021 semester saw a change in students’ ability to identify themselves in their own terms by declaring their preferred names and pronouns during the registration process. This allows trans, nonbinary and genderqueer students as well as cisgender people if they wish, to avoid assumptions of their identity based on their physical appearance. The change came about mostly because of efforts by AUP’s Gender and Sexuality Club (GenSex) who worked closely with the administration to bring the policy into effect. GenSex is one of the main resources for LGBTQ+ students at AUP, a fact Maura Partrick, the current 24

president of the GenSex club, emphasized strongly. The club frequently addresses topics such as gender and sexuality and sexual health. But despite GenSex’s successes in working with the administration, there remains a lot of frustration with how new changes are being implemented. “On the surface, you can sign as many papers or declarations as you want, but that alone doesn’t mean anything. You actually have to put it into practice,” shares Partrick. “It’s disappointing that a lot of people don’t seem to take that seriously.” GenSex receives a lot of support from faculty and staff, and they are often in touch with the Dean of Student Development, Kevin Fore. Partrick nonetheless feels that the club’s efforts often go unnoticed or become needlessly complicated through some qualms brought up by the administration. Partrick continued: “Maybe from the outside it seemed like we were all friendly with the administration, but we were constantly fighting to make them do what we asked for, not accepting less. I hope that that continues on.” Queer-inclusive student initiatives such as GenSex are continuously fighting for visibility and recognition by students and administration alike. Gemini Love, AUP junior and former member of the GenSex club shares that they had different expectations for the queer experience at university.

“On the surface, you can sign as many papers or declarations as you want, but that alone doesn’t mean anything. You actually have to put it into practice,”

“I expected a lot more visibility for queer people on campus and I didn’t really get that through the

administration or through professors. And I didn’t really see that in any clubs, except for GenSex. But it seemed that at the time, GenSex was still struggling to be seen and struggling to make their initiatives heard.” AUP does not have a Gay-Straight-Alliance, no queer or trans support groups and most of the emotional labor of creating more inclusivity on campus falls to student initiatives. Whereas AUP’s website does list professors and staff members who are willing to provide a safe space for queer students in search of guidance, many wish for a designated, visible space on campus in which queer people can come together in support of one another. Students also bring up a lack of queer-centered classes in the curriculum. Whereas, in majors such as Comparative Literature and Gender Studies the queer experience may come up as a topic, queer people are seldom the sole focus of a class. “The language of centering a community is a complicated one in a space this tiny as this,” shares Professor Geoffrey Gilbert. “I think we have plenty of courses that do the work of de-centering. But maybe it’s harder to imagine courses which will center each of the experiences we want to.” Gilbert, a professor in the Comparative Literature and English department, has designed the course “Theory and Writing: Queer Theory” for the upcoming Spring 2022 semester, alongside Professor Biswamit Dwibedy. The course will address queer theory in literature from an intersectional perspective. Whereas this is one of very few courses to have the word queer in the title, students did commend some professors for their inclusion of queer readings and queer thought in their classes, such as professors Robert Payne, Elizabeth Kinne and Sneharika Roy. “We are in a proper epistemic crisis around sex and gender,” says Gilbert. “That is, the language we have for it, or had for it, clearly doesn’t respond correctly to the experiences of a lot of the bodies and minds that are around.”

He continued, urging students to, “Know that we are working, again with some unease about the terms, on what kind of ally processes can happen among faculty.” Students mostly appear to be satisfied with their professors’ responses to queer students. Their issues lie with the administration. However, many students do not know how to navigate the administrative sphere and are unaware of how to bring up complaints with the university, which makes them unable to properly express their grievances. “I have no idea who I would talk to. I am not in any understanding of who is in what position of authority,” says AUP senior Stella Guan. “I definitely have a lot of complaints I would want to bring up, but I don’t know who to talk to or how to do it.” One of the first resources which students can access when it comes to issues of discrimination is the Diversity Council. The council was established two years ago and acts as a consulting body to the administration. It consists of two staff members, two faculty members and two student representatives. “When you go to the administration, you need someone who understands all kinds of different identities and is able to be compassionate and willing to advocate for those people,” explains student representative Krystel Nozier. “Our concept is to be compassionate and find ways in order to advocate for those people and make sure that they feel safe in whatever step they need to take with the administration.” Staff member Alexis Dang agreed, reiterating the council’s commitment to being a first resource for students: “The staff and faculty members on the council are here because we know how the system works. We know where to go or who to talk to to implement things, so we can be a direct link to the administration. The council is a great resource to access other resources.” The Diversity Council worked on creating AUP’s Student Grievance Procedure, by which students 25

can bring up their complaints with the university. The university also has a page on their website, listed under Diversity and Inclusion, dedicated to commitments towards queer inclusivity and equality on campus and in its provision of services, but students don’t seem to be aware of the existence of such commitments or procedures. When asked if they were aware of the webpage, Guan shares: “I am about to graduate next semester and I had no idea that they had that page at all.” Despite making such information openly available, there are no obvious pointers towards such resources, for example by email in the beginning of a semester. For Guan, this is a source of distrust towards the administration. “I think AUP should be more transparent about that. And the fact that AUP doesn’t flaunt it more says a lot.”

“We are in a proper epistemic crisis around sex and gender. That is, the language we have for it, or had for it, clearly doesn’t respond correctly to the experiences of a lot of the bodies and minds that are around.”

Most students are fresh out of high school, living alone for the very first time - in a foreign country, nonetheless. They rely on the university for services and support, but as shown, queer students feel this support to be lacking. The American University of Paris is a small liberal arts university with an extensive queer community, located in the heart of one of the world’s queer capitals. As such, AUP is in a good position to make continued efforts towards equality and inclusivity on campus. Progress is slow, takes time and effort and, unfortunately, many queer students will leave without witnessing AUP’s hopefully continuous progress towards queer inclusivity. However, the outlook to the future appears to be a positive one. “We are entering the public eye and we can’t be ignored anymore,” Love proclaims. “I don’t think we are going to let ourselves be ignored anymore.”

Exploring humanity’s relationship with the extraterrestrial By Lindsey Varkevisser Illustrated by Claire English

umanity has always had an unexplainable desire to explore the unknown, to discover new worlds and challenge the boundaries of what we know. This ancient curiosity for the unknown has been shared by humankind throughout history. Early civilizations wondered where and how planets existed, what stars were and how they appeared, but lately our curiosity has evolved. With the help of modern technology, we have moved on to asking bigger questions such as: Is there extraterrestrial life? Can humanity become an interplanetary species? While answering these mystifying questions is fascinating, it also brings us to wonder what has this done to our relationship with the universe. 28

We have very little information about early discoveries about the universe, mostly petroglyphs of the night sky and instruments that were used as calendars. What we do know is that early civilizations had a very different relationship with the universe than we do. The field of archeoastronomy aims to uncover the relationship ancient civilizations had with the universe, and what role it played in their culture. Archeoastronomer Javier Mejuto told me: “For ancient civilizations, there was a relationship of dialogue with the sky.” These civilizations believed that the heavens held power over earthly existence and used astronomy to orient their cities and predict future events. Our ancestors have always tried to connect the

stars and the planets to life down here on Earth. Depending on the cultural context, this was done primarily through merging astronomy with mythology and religion. For example, what we know as the Scorpio constellation came from Greek and Middle Eastern mythology, cultures where scorpions were a common phenomenon. However, in New Zealand this particular cluster of stars was seen as Maui’s fishhook. “Constellations are reflective of what is important where you are located,” cultural astronomer Jarita Holbrook tells National Geographic. This is why within the field of cultural astronomy, the word asterism is used instead of the word constellation, because asterism is a more general term that includes any cultural pattern identified in the sky. Unfortunately, our information on ancient civilizations’ astronomical practices is limited, primarily as a consequence of colonization. Colonization, which peaked in the 15th to the 20th century, can be seen as a starting point in the weakening of our natural and cultural connection to space. Under forces that valued capital and production over culture and preservation, astronomical practices became less valued as there were no obvious monetary gains from it. The Maya people, for instance, were deeply in touch with astronomy, but most of their knowledge was lost during the 16th century Spanish conquest. As for other ancient civilizations: “Easter Island is even worse, because we have no direct descendants of the culture” says Mejuto. The opposite is the case for ancient astronomy of the Arabian Peninsula. Cultural astronomer Dr. Danielle Adams specializes in Arabian astronomy and explains that because most of the peninsula is made up of desert, throughout history, there was a relatively low appeal for armies to conquer this land, which has prevented significant astronomical loss: “This makes a lot of their astronomical traditions unique to that region, and I think it’s because they just weren’t conquered by outside

forces,” comments Adams. It was the Cold War, however, that paved the way for a significant devolution of our connection to space. The development of ballistic missiles, first used by Germany toward the end of World War II, paved the way for the launch vehicles that would fuel the geopolitical space race between the Soviet Union and the United States. This period of political hostility started with the competition in developing missiles to carry nuclear weapons between continents. In 1961 President John F. Kennedy set the national goal of “Landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to Earth within a decade,” and soon enough in 1969, astronaut Neil Armstrong took “one giant leap for mankind” as he stepped onto the moon. This set the stage for space exploration to become a nationalistic mission; each country on their own, rather than fulfillment of a global curiosity uniting humanity as a whole. Though astronomy was a relationship of mutual dialogue between humans and the universe to ancient civilizations, it has now turned into a monetized space race. This has not only caused division among the human race, but has also made us lose sight of this ancient fascination.

Besides the spiritual value of the universe, many cultures find benefits from astronomy in everyday life. For instance, an indigenous community in Honduras, the Lenca, operates on a moon-based agricultural calendar, as discovered by Mejuto in a study. Essentially, they use the phases of the moon to determine when to sow seeds and when to harvest their crops. Women even use the phases of the moon to regulate their fertility. In these cultures, the universe is seen beyond a territory to colonize, use as Planet B or extract resources from. These practices are fragile, however; Mejuto explains, “The sky is changing because of all these new satellites orbiting the earth, and so [the Lenca] have to change their culture and eventually will disappear.” Because of Western technological interference, the few cultures who depend upon our guiding stars are at risk.

“Sometimes we tend to see our cultures in an evolutionary way: We are the last ones so we are the best. That is absolutely incorrect, we are not just the last step of the ladder. Just because we might have the possibility in the future of planet B, [is] not an excuse for losing the one we have right now.” “Sometimes we tend to see our cultures in an evolutionary way: We are the last ones so we are the best,” comments Mejuto, “That is absolutely incorrect, we are not just the last step of the ladder. Just because we might have the possibility in the future of planet B [is] not an 30

excuse for losing the one we have right now.” The universe can be quite overwhelming, but in the best way. Take the stars: It’s impossible to know how many stars exist, but astronomers estimate that in our Milky Way galaxy alone, there are about 300 billion. And because of the speed at which light travels, the stars you see in the night sky aren’t what they look like right now. Rather, you are looking at what they used to look like at a certain point in time, depending on how far they are from Earth. The next time you look up at the night sky and wonder how many other generations looked up at the same night sky, know that all of the stars you can see with the unaided eye lie within about 4,000 light-years of us. So, at most, you are seeing stars as they appeared to humans who lived 4,000 years ago. While answering the universe’s biggest mysteries is fascinating, astronomy does not have many direct practical benefits to our fast-paced lives. Although astronomy is not of particularly significant use to humankind, it is a fulfillment of a universal admiration, and should continue to be something to cherish and share across cultures.

Although astronomy is not of particularly significant use to humankind, it is a fulfillment of a universal admiration, and should continue to be something to cherish and share across cultures.

As our curiosity towards space diminishes in favor of monetary gain, we are actively putting the people who depend on it at risk: It is time to listen to what other cultures have to teach us about astronomy and dive back into the connection with our environment and the universe that surrounds us.

Illustration Credit: Gabi O’Leary

n January 30th, 2021, the world lost an immeasurable talent. SOPHIE, a worldclass producer, DJ, singer, songwriter and transgender icon passed away after a tragic accident. She was just 34 and the impact she left on music as well as on the LBGTQ community will be hard to replicate. I first heard of SOPHIE in fall 2014, during my first semester in college. Her song “Lemonade” was like nothing I had ever heard before. Clocking up to the nth degree. I ruined a pair of earbuds in at just under 2 minutes, the synths are loud and just blasting her song “BIPP”. hyper-high pitched, with sound effects of bubbles SOPHIE also shined as a producer for other popping and slurping booming throughout the artists. She produced tracks for artists like song. The childlike singing is, somehow, both Madonna, Vince Staples, MØ, Kim Petras and melodic and vaguely threatening. It’s impossible Cashmere Cat. However, some of her most to accurately describe the song in words. Song fruitful collaborations came from her sessions even might be the wrong word- it was an audio with pop artist Charli XCX. To say that the two experience. I remember thinking to myself, sitting of them together changed pop music is a bold right there in my dorm room, that I would never but arguable claim. Their work on Charli’s EP, hear something like that ever again. Vroom Vroom, set the standard for what would Following the critical acclaim from singles like later become the genre of hyperpop. Their work “Lemonade,” SOPHIE’s career exploded, releas- together yielded many iconic songs that became ing other singles for her EP, staples of the underground Product. She burst into the pop club scenes in cities around music scene like a breath of the globe. While neither are cold, minty-fresh air in a genre household names, to a certain that was desperate for innotype of pop fan, SOPHIE and vation. At the time, pop music Charli XCX are akin to gods. felt stuck in a rut. After sucMeanwhile, SOPHIE’s cesses like Lorde, Lana del Rey identity – or lack thereof – had and Adele, it seemed as if every become a point of contention. pop star wanted to strip back She had not shown her face their sound in order to emuto the public, hiding behind late the sparse and effective masks and decoys at perforIllustration Credit: Kira Winter production on “Royals” or the fluid melancholy mances and in interviews. There had been years of “Summertime Sadness”. When pop was going of speculation by the public and the press about minimalist, SOPHIE was maximalism personified. the true identity of SOPHIE. Articles were writShe took hard, electronic beats and dialed them ten asking who was masquerading behind those

Illustration Credit: Agata Kożuchowska

trademark uber-feminine vocals and wondering and the precision and dedication that SOPHIE whether they were appropriating womanhood put into writing it are evident. Even Beyoncé by doing so. However, that all changed when took notice, using SOPHIE’s song “Ponyboy” in SOPHIE released the first single to her debut – an advertisement for her Ivy Park clothing line. and unfortunately, only – album. It’s Okay The album was nominated for “Best Dance/ To Cry was released on October 19, 2017. Electronic Album” at the Grammy’s, The music video accompanying the song making her one of the first openly trans marked the first time SOPHIE’s face had artists to be nominated for a Grammy, been seen by the public. The video alongside songwriter Teddy Geiger and served as a reveal of SOPHIE the soul singer Jackie Shane. person as a proud trans woman. With When SOPHIE suddenly died, I was Illustration credit: Stella Richman one video, she gave us a part of herself in shock. I woke up and saw headlines, that she was not obligated to give. tweets and texts about her passing away overThe LGBTQ+ community has long found a night and I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to. It refuge in pop music, so after SOPHIE’s coming was a Saturday. I couldn’t leave my bed for the out, she was immediately heralded as the vanentire day, I was so shocked and upset. Tributes guard of trans icons in pop. Her music was poured in from the artists she had worked with, thumping through gay clubs around the world the critics who appreciated her, but most of all the and her shows became a communal safe space fans whom she had touched. It was a devastating for the trans community. The reception she reblow not only to lose one of our own, but, due to ceived proved just how much she meant to those the pandemic, to not even be able to celebrate It was a devastating blow not her in the way she deserved: through joyous, caonly to lose one of our own, thartic expression on the dancefloor. but, due to the pandemic, to It felt unfair. SOPHIE passed away so young, not even be able to celebrate meanwhile there were transphobic politicians, her in the way she deserved: artists and more continuing to live long lives. But through joyous, cathartic ex- we knew she would be honored. That we, her pression on the dancefloor. fans, the members of her community would keep her memory alive. That pop music would be foron the margins of society. People saw themselves ever indebted to her style and artistry. in her: an avant-garde outsider who played by SOPHIE died from a fall. She had been trying her own rules and let passion and her aspirational to climb up onto her roof, in order to get a better view of the future dictate her artistry. look at the full moon. So now, whenever I turn my Her album Oil of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides was head up to look at the moon, I think of her. And I released in 2018 to much critical acclaim. It clocks hear the bridge from “Immaterial” saying: in at only 9 tracks but SOPHIE utilizes every single second to her advantage. “Immaterial” became an instant favorite for many, an upbeat pop song with an inspirational message and an even more danceable beat. I can’t count how many times I heard that song at a club in the summer of 2018. There is not a single bad track on that album

with love,

your devoted translator

By Paulina Trigos Recovering my great-grandfather’s legacy through the art of translation

n the very first page, a black and white picture of an old man stared back at me. Tracing his name, I made eye contact with a dead man. He had short white hair that sat neatly atop his head, like snow that had gathered on top of a branch and black circular pince-nez glasses that framed his eyes perfectly. A penetrating, serious stare, and thin lips hidden underneath a silver moustache. Dressed in a gray blazer and sporting a black tie, we looked at each other as if recognizing one another, as if knowing who we were, as if this wasn’t the first time I had seen him and had actually been looking at his face my entire life. After this encounter, I carried Sueños y Quimeras, a poetry book given to me by my grandmother everywhere I went; it slept on my nightstand, singing my lullabies. My great-grandfather, Ferdinand R. Cestero, faded into oblivion after his death in 1945. In his time, he was a renowned Puerto Rican poet whose poems won multiple prizes around the island. I remember being told how Ferdinand’s poetry was taught in high schools and universities all across Puerto Rico. However, as time passed, the importance of knowing about our history and most notably, our literary icons, faded away, and with it, the memory of his existence and the impact his words had on Puerto Rican culture. This angered me. Not just because he was someone from my family but because I knew that now he is just my great-grandfather, and not someone who had dedicated his life to poetry, to art, for it to be ultimately carried off into the wind. As I spoke with my mother about his legacy, she said something that stuck with me: “Ferdinand is a part of Puerto Rico’s literary history, part of a romantic movement in our country. This is something that is rarely discussed here. We never learn about the great artists that grew up in the street we now walk. The stories of people like Ferdinand tell us about social and literary movements that transformed our culture into what it is now.” I

wondered what I could do, feeling like it was up to me to save him from anonymity. I couldn’t help but feel a weight upon my shoulders as I thought that maybe there was a reason that I stumbled upon this book. During this time of introspection, I was taking a literary translation class in which we were tasked with the project of translating a piece of writing from any language into English. The puzzle pieces were coming together and I decided that I would honor my great-grandfather and translate his poems, showing off the beauty of his poetry and making it widely accessible. With this idea of accessibility, I beamed brighter because that is precisely what translation does: it places texts within our grasp and transforms them into an element of the future. If my main goal was to rescue Ferdinand from oblivion, what better way to do that than through translation? The word “translation” comes from a Latin term meaning “to carry across” while the earlier Greek term “metaphrasis” (which in English is metaphrase: a literal word for word translation) means “to speak across.” Like a bridge, translation’s job is to connect people through the power of language; through the use of translation we are speaking to the world, we are letting other people appreciate that which they would be deprived of otherwise. “Translation is the opportunity to move a work across from one culture to another, and there’s nourishment in that crossing of languages and cultures. It’s what happens to a language when you make certain demands of it, and how it can grow from there,” comments Amanda Dennis, an assistant Professor in the Department of Comparative Literature and English at the American University of Paris. Robert Frost once said that poetry “is that which gets lost out of both prose and in translation” stating the impossibility of translating poetry. Upon reading this quote, I have to admit that I felt personally attacked; I am translating

poetry, or attempting to do so, and the thought of losing something, losing my great-grandfather’s words and more so the intrinsic meaning behind said words terrifies me. Poetry is a million universes captured in language, and so, to translate these universes can be seen as impossible by many. My great-grandfather’s poetry is filled to the brim with rhymes and different meters, and for me, bringing these factors from the original language into the target language of the translation, English, is an obstacle. “There’s a spectrum where you have fidelity on one end and transparency on the other. If you stay unwaveringly true to the meaning of a text, some of its style, sound or rhythm will be lost; if you privilege ease of read-

As a translator, I had to make a choice: do I place the value on the rhyme or on the message? I chose the latter.

ability in the target language, you may have to adjust the meaning. Something always gets lost, but part of the art and challenge of translation is deciding what is most important to carry over,” says Professor Dennis. As a translator, I had to make a choice: do I place the value on the rhyme or on the message? I chose the latter. Knowing where and how to begin translating, especially something as delicate as poetry, was the hardest part of it all. I spent hours upon hours just on one line, placing all my focus on finding the perfect word. The thing about languages, in this case about Spanish and English, is that they both have a wide variety of synonyms, and some are full of ambiguities depending on the culture. If directly translated, the meaning of a sentence changes drastically. The first poem I translated had some of the most difficult phrases I ever encountered; the poem was built in such a way that as I struggled to pick it apart, I thought it to be unbreakable. Before even glancing at the title, 40

I decided to tackle it head on. My first instinct was to directly translate it into English which ended up being completely unintelligible. Suddenly, these beautiful lines that made so much sense and that had the impression of being created merely to be used in this poem became dull and void of feeling. “La noche está triste; la casa tranquila; desierta la alcoba” became “The night is sad; the quiet house; the bedroom is deserted” which fell completely flat at my feet. There is, I realized, a very particular way in which sentences are read in a certain language; so by transforming it from Spanish into English, I not only had the job of translating the words but also had to be conscious about how this new audience would perceive it. History, language and - by consequence - literature, have shaped the way we express ourselves and have certainly impacted the way in which we read and receive meanings. So, that is to say, there is a specific way in which a sentence is read in Spanish and in which a sentence is read in English. When translating, this means that one has to be aware that a sentence, while it could be translated directly into the target language, might not read as naturally or it might still have remnants of the original language stuck to it. This is not necessarily bad, but when reading a translated work the reader expects to understand it fully, to feel as if it is completely theirs – the domestic remainder of the original might change the reading experience. After spending countless hours getting to know this poem, what it meant, what he meant, this specific phrase became “The night is overcome with melancholy; the tranquil house casts the bedroom aside.” This poem is called “Que Noche tan Larga,” which in English would directly translate to “What a Long Night.” However, I ended up titling it “This Endless Night” and I can recall freaking out about taking such a liberty. Who was I to change the title? In the midst of this, I thought maybe Google could serve as a helping hand

through this process. The first link I clicked on was titled “Five Tips on Translating Poetry.” Step one: stay close to the poem. Seems fair enough, I thought; I was always very clear that if I wanted to translate Ferdinand’s poetry, I had to get to know the poem itself – what it wanted to say, what it wanted the reader to feel. Step two: get to know the poet. At this, I immediately paused. I can loosely recall the rule from this random website saying: “If you pick a poet that is still alive for your translation, contact them and take the liberty to ask them any questions that might help you understand the poem itself, their intentions, and thus help you with your own translations. However, if you pick a poet who has already passed, your job is much harder – but all you have to do is research about their lives.” I paused once again. I’ve tried searching for any biography or details about my great-grandfather, and although there are some things about him floating about on the internet, they are very minimal. So,

Maybe his poems are the perfect guide to get to know him, someone I never had the opportunity to meet but who has become such an important part of my life.

how was I supposed to get my translations right if I knew close to nothing about his life? Octavio Paz, a Mexican poet, once said that “a poet’s truthful biography is not found by knowing the events of their life;, rather it is found through their poems.” I chose to believe this; all that I have learned, all that I have found out about him, I have found through his words. I wanted to ask him questions and see if he could answer me as I dissected his poems, as I picked them apart and transformed them. Maybe his poems are the perfect guide to get to know him, someone I never had the opportunity to meet but who has

become such an important part of my life. “Your grandmother used Sueños y Quimeras almost like a conversation between Ferdinand and her,” my mother told me when I discussed my project with her, “She felt like each poem held a secret message. I think the message has reached you, and through his words, he’s guiding you towards something.” Ferdinand’s poems, even though the magic of it mostly lies in the flow of the rhymes and rhythm, hold such strong and beautiful stories as you get to know them, as you get acquainted with each word, each comma, each hyphen. The message behind his poems, the essence of who he was and what he believed were important narratives was something I did not want to lose. This posed a new problem, though: to some extent I am creating an entirely different and new poem, which some might argue is not a true translation and could actually become my poem. On a translator’s relationship with their own work, Dennis finds that, “the word collaboration is a nice word to use. In translation, so much of your sensibility as a writer, as a human, as a mind and heart in the world is going to come through in the way that you use language.”

If at some point in the future, my great-grandfather’s poetry is given the recognition I truly believe it deserves, there might be another translator who, instead of placing the value on the message of the poems, will perhaps translate it adherence to the rhyme. This does not discredit my translation and makes theirs superior; believing in a single way of translating cannot be farther from the truth. When it comes to translating, I choose to believe we should let a hundred flowers bloom; there are so many ways of looking at a single poem, at a single novel – it all depends on the translator and their choices. I see it as a puzzle piece, or as an investigative journey to find out more about the person you are translating. I take every single word as a clue, like a grain of salt, revealing more with every movement, every “carrying

across.” George Szirtes, a British poet and translator, said it best: “There will always remain the question of the faithful translation. The difficulty is deciding what it is one should be faithful to. A poem is a complex whole made up of many elements, not one of which has an exact equivalent in another language. Yet we hope for recognition, for some ideal combination of surface and depth fidelities. The ideal doesn’t exist. But living translations do: echo on echo on echo.” And so they do echo on echo on echo, for all eternity. Out of ninety-seven poems that I found buried in the pages of Sueños y Quimeras, I have only managed to translate ten so far. Translation is a process; one has to

be patient with the words, with oneself mostly, and let the work speak to us of its needs. As I translate, I not only move words across a border, to another realm where they transform into another language, but I also carry myself across trying to follow in my great-grandfather’s footsteps in order to find what he wanted the reader to find, to know, to learn. With every scribble of his pen, I follow and hope to find more about him, more about me. It all began with the title. With his dreams, his sueños. With his chimeras, his quimeras.

Dear F, Your ode to the January moon is absolutely exquisite. I wonder why you chose January, the month I was born in. The poem was so tightly knit, so organized, so eloquent, that I could still hear the scribblings of your pen. I finished translating it last night...I’m still playing around with it. What do you think? Do you miss the Spanish? Can you even understand what I’m asking you in what might be an incomprehensible language to you? Can you hear me? Paulina Dear F, When do I know I have finished translating? How did you know when to finish writing? I was reading my translation, reading This Endless Night!, and all of a sudden I had to look away. I felt that I had uncovered something wholly sacred, something from the most vulnerable parts of your soul. What does love mean to you, F? For me, it’s two warm hands, clashing. Your recently devoted reader and translator, Paulina

Brown Does Not Belong Backstage! Indian models from three generations tell their story By Sarah Affonso

he women of India have been blessed with some of the most beautiful skin tones; ranging from a glorious golden tan to a rich chocolate brown. While the rest of the world is finding ways to achieve our sun-kissed colors, Indian women are looking for ways to bleach their skin until it is considered “beautiful” within the brown community. Up until the early 2000s, it was almost impossible to see a darkskinned model in an Indian fashion magazine, unless it was the “before” picture in an advertisement for a skin lightening product. According to a World Health Organization study, an estimated 61 percent of women in India use skin-lightening creams, and the industry is forecast to be worth $31.2bn globally by 2024. The Indian community has always had a colorist prejudice against people of their own race on the basis of skin color. The root of this

problem stems from British colonization and the rigid caste system in India. The colonizers, unfortunately, set the benchmark of beauty in the country, and it hasn’t changed ever since. ” In a 2015 essay, author Neha Mishra cited a survey that asked Indians between the ages of 20–25 to describe “pretty.” Seventy-one percent of those surveyed used words such as “fair” or “light.” Indian mass media has further amplified this backward thinking by mainly casting and glorifying models with lighter skin tones. The media has always had the strongest influence on our perception of beauty; the more dependent we get on pop culture deciding “Who’s hot and who’s not,” the more likely we are to continue believing that brown is not beautiful. I interviewed three leading Indian models from three different generations to better understand their story, and whether the industry truly has grown more diverse over time. 43

Image Credit: Prabuddha Dasgupta

The 80s: Coleen Khan Affonso Coleen Khan Affonso began her journey in Mumbai, India back in the late 80s. She studied hairdressing in London and had no intentions of becoming a model. When a client once asked Affonso to come to help on set one day, she assumed they meant with the hair. However, upon arriving at the shoot she quickly realized she was actually the model. Her popularity grew from there and she was soon the face of leading brands at the time like PONDS, Sunsilk and ThumsUp. She also mentioned how she was one of the first few Indian models to walk for international designers like Yves Saint-Laurent during an Elle magazine launch, Pierre Cardin and Leconate Hemant. While she had the opportunity to work with foreign designers, she does admit that it was usually the “international models that were assigned as opening and closing showstoppers”. When asked about discriminatory casting back in the ‘80’s, Affonso goes on to say that due to her fair complexion she actually believed she had the unfair upper hand. However, when it came to her darker-skinned colleagues, “they were often told they were not ‘suitable’ for the advertisement. Most of them weren’t even auditioned”. Affonso even spoke of the time she turned down an ad campaign with the skin lightening brand Fair and Lovely, due to the ideas they used to promote. She says, “The brand commissioned advertisements showing women being turned down from jobs or rejected from relationships as a result of their skin tone. I refused to work with a brand that made the majority of our melanin-rich women feel like they weren’t enough”. The 90s: Sheetal Mallar At the young age of 16, Sheetal Mallar began her career in the Indian modelling world. Mallar’s career started when a photographer shooting her decided to use her as a young bride in one of his upcoming campaigns. Mallar worked extensively for Indian brands and designers but also had the rare opportunity of being a model for international brands like Armani and Fendi and was the face of Maybelline in the late 90s. Being exposed to the international world of fashion, she was able to interact with models from several parts of the world. She even comments on the fact that there was a lot of diversity in terms of ethnicities on the runway. 44

Image Credit: Atul Kasbekar

However, being a brown model, Mallar was well aware of the unfair advantages in the industry as she told me, “Discrimination due to prejudice of your skin color was very common”. She explains how while colorism in the casting room was a problem internationally, it was one she saw in India too. Just like Affonso, Mallar chooses not to work with brands promoting fairness creams. “It sends out the wrong message to impressionable youth and I choose not to encourage that,” she says. Now being a renowned Indian photographer, Mallar stresses the importance of “embracing who we are no matter what color we are.” She concludes by explaining how we should have a healthy sense of self and ignore the constant brainwashing of society’s unrealistic beauty standards. The 2000s: Lakshmi Rana Image Credit: Bikramjeet Bose Lakshmi Rana began her career with Miss India 2000 where she was the only model that was recruited for India Fashion Week 2001. Rana has worked with brands like Roberto Cavalli, Tommy Hilfiger, Christian Dior and Hermes. Having walked for Fashion Week in New York, Paris and Milan, she has had the opportunity to work with all kinds of models from different ethnicities. However, when it comes to the international casting process, she states that “Indian models would sometimes be mistaken to be Spanish or Brazilian due to their hair or skin color. Those were the ones that made the cut.” However, she emphasizes that in India, the “fair-skinned model was the norm.” Rana explains how discouraging it was to see foreign models come to India and work for local brands, wearing garments of Indian culture. “There was an influx of foreign models in the late 2000s, and they were cast in all the commercial work.” She explains how because of the color of their skin, “they appealed to the public.” However, Rana does remark that she has gradually started seeing changes as Indian models, including herself, began speaking out about this issue. Rana started her own modelling agency, Wilderbee Talent Camp, where her main goal is inclusivity. “Today’s unrealistic beauty standards are the leading cause of low self-esteem and debilitating mental health,” she says. “Whether someone is plus-sized, dark-skinned or transgender I want them to be comfortable and confident in their own skin,” she says. Whether it was back in the eighties, or in the current day, it is impossible to ignore the glaring issue with both international and national discrimination in casting. Affonso highlighted how “change has to begin at home, in India” and luckily, there is hope. With campaigns like Dark is Beautiful started in 2009, and NGO Brown n Proud founded in 2015, Indians are fighting against deep-rooted colorism within the country. People all around the world need to be able to pick up a magazine and identify, even vaguely, with the person on the cover. So, hopefully, for the sake of younger generations, the future is bright, and not white. 45

KABUL UNDER THE WHITE FLAG As the cameras turn away from Afghanistan, a new Taliban government takes shape amid Western attempts at isolation, leaving the population trapped By Séamus Malekafzali

house of cards is not the best descriptor of what the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan was. If there was a word in the English language that could describe something even weaker, even more hollow, something even more prone to immediate and total collapse the second that one part of it was removed, hen perhaps that could fit. Within less than two weeks, a government that the United States was on the cusp of spending 20 years propping up collapsed. It was eliminated with almost no major battles. Kabul, the capital of an entire sovereign state, a city that had taken four years to capture in the 1990s and had its streets annihilated, was taken without a bullet fired. It is an odd and alien thing to hear, but the war in Afghanistan is over. The United States lost. And as the helicopters and planes left Kabul, civilians crowded the runway to flee with them. Now, they’ve been left behind, to live in the capital of a government now reestablished after a generation: the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan.

having promised “under no circumstances” to bow to the Taliban, himself fled into Tajikistan. Massoud stayed behind in the mountains of Afghanistan if only for a moment, before he followed Saleh’s lead. Before fall had even begun, their armed resistance to Taliban forces was over. Nabih Bulos, the foreign correspondent for the Los Angeles Times arrived in Afghanistan on August 22, a week after Kabul fell to Taliban forces, and remained in the country for around a month as the last American forces pulled out and a new Islamic Emirate cabinet was formed. Bulos highlights the apparent divide between the concerns and outlook of Afghan men and Afghan women. He told me: “Bearing in mind that many of those we spoke to were men, a lot of people were hopeful on issues of security, that there would be a chance for stability. Women, of course, were much more worried, as were journalists and members of civil society.” The Taliban are making the possibility of a stable and secure Afghanistan one of the centerpieces of their pitch to those at home and abroad. Only a day after the fall of Kabul, they had begun rounding up guns on the basis that they were no longer needed. One anonymous Taliban official told Reuters that “We understand people kept weapons for personal safety. They can now feel safe.” This pitch, needless to say, has had difficulWhat remained of the U.S.-backed government ty being believed by many Afghans. fled into the country’s center. They went into the The Islamic Republic of Afghanistan, the prePanjshir Valley, a valley that had birthed anti-Tal- vious government backed by the United States, iban national heroes like Ahmad Shah Massoud, faced significant problems seeking legitimacy now led by the fallen icon’s son Ahmad Massoud. from its populace. High electoral turnout at the The former vice president, Amrullah Saleh, joined beginning of its existence turned sour, with results the son, taking up the mantle of acting president in 2019 falling to 18 percent of registered voters. after the previous president, Ashraf Ghani, fled At the higher echelons of power, from a military to the United Arab Emirates. They called for a of almost 179,000 active troops, only around national uprising. They promised to fight until the 10,000 Afghans, many of them irregular fighters, end where other soldiers and politicians had not. were left willing to continue to fight in Panjshir. But only a week after the Taliban started a siege Politicians from the top to the bottom of the on the province, it was captured. Saleh, despite hierarchy fled without notice, let alone speeches.

It is an odd and alien thing to hear, but the war in Afghanistan is over. The United States lost.

Even so, the question of freedom versus security had now come to a hilt. Many Afghans waved the now former flag of the nation in remembrance of the relative freedom they enjoyed during the 20 years of its existence, relative freedoms even in small quantities that were in jeopardy. Protests against the new government erupted, met with an armed and violent response by Taliban authorities. Protesters across Afghanistan were killed and journalists who had been covering the protests were arrested. This avowed resistance was short-lived, melting away as basic needs became paramount. The emirate, despite its name, has no officiallynamed emir or Islamic leader, yet. It does have a prime minister, deputy prime ministers, interior ministers, education ministers, all the ornaments of a government that the international community could deal with. The Ministry of Women’s Affairs, however, has been replaced by the Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, dedicated to enforcing Islamic law.

degree, Master’s degree is valuable today. You see that the mullahs and Taliban that are in power, have no PhD, M.A. or even a high school degree, but are the greatest of all.” He then added that education is “irrelevant” if you are “pious, which will make you respected.” Afghanistan’s education system has, since the re-arrival of the Taliban, entered into a state of ambiguity. Nobody is sure if lasting changes have been made since 2001, or if things will soon go back to the way things were then. The only certainty is that what existed only a few months ago is no longer. The American University of Afghanistan, considered one of the country’s most prestigious institutions, has up and left, leaving its campus behind to move its operations to Qatar. Some universities, devoid of that luxury, have returned to campus, but with previously gender-integrated classrooms now segregated. Other educational institutions have not allowed female students back at all, arguing that the “security situation” needs to be secured before they can be allowed back. On the Taliban’s view on the situation, Bulos says: “There’s no meaningful shift so far when it comes to education for women and several other rights. I don’t think the Taliban will materially change their stance on women’s education, at least not on a national level. That means we’re likely to see some education happening in some parts of the country, but not all.” With education now becoming more and more restricted, paths to economic security are not only closing, but retracting, as the floor below While a government has formed in Afghanistan Afghans regardless of gender begins to fall out. that has official titles, positions and offices with Afghanistan’s economy, already a not exactly numbers a foreign representative can contact, bustling machine, was veering off a cliff due their actual abilities to carry out their duties to the new administration’s pariah status. The is questionable. The new Education Minister, Taliban is used to these conditions. Afghanistan’s Noorullah Munir, raised eyebrows with his comGDP per capita had tumbled under its previous ments about the future of schooling in the counrule over the country. This would prove no obstatry. At a press conference in September, Munir cle to at least forming a government once again, dismissed the value of degrees, saying “No PhD but other sectors remain in question.

“No PhD degree, Master’s degree is valuable today. You see that the mullahs and Taliban that are in power, have no PhD, M.A. or even a high school degree, but are the greatest of all.”

The quick conquering of Afghanistan by the Taliban left the economy in a haze. Will Western Union still operate? Will critical economic aid still enter the country? Will Afghanistan’s assets abroad go to the new Emirate? What will happen to the Afghani, the country’s currency? Many Afghans did not wait for that caution to dissipate. Images emerged of thousands waiting in line at banks around the country. They wanted their money, and many banks could not afford to hand it over. “Every day in Kabul you see lines of people waiting in front of the bank, and they can only take 10,000 Afghanis, or $200 a week,” Bulos said, “It’s not much.” A recursive loop is forming where Afghan banks ask the Taliban to give them more dollars, but the Taliban can’t access the dollars needed to keep the banks going. Monetary aid and assets owned by the previous Afghan government remain frozen by international organizations and the U.S., an amount considered to be almost $10 billion. There is one problem: there is no one to claim them. There is no Afghan government-in-exile ready to access those funds. The only option would be to negotiate to release the funds and to relieve sanctions, and that is not something anyone has indicated a serious attempt at doing. Afghans now are bearing the brunt of a deteriorating situation that threatens the economic progress made over the decades. The Taliban, while it has survived deep economic crises before, is not keen on gambling surviving another one, especially when it has only now begun to govern. Because of this, it has taken an active course to set up relations with other countries. China has already taken the lead in showing its willingness to recognize the Taliban in time. Qatar as well has been a host to Taliban representatives in the past and continues to serve as a mediating power. There is no expectation that the Taliban’s days are limited, and governments which, in the past, may have been against dealing

with them are now more open. But even then, the timeline of this process may be unaffordably long for many Afghan civilians in need. Afghanistan’s international relations with the West and still much of the rest of the world lies unclear. The Republic’s ambassador to the United Nations is still seated, and its embassies abroad staffed by the Islamic Republic’s selections. The procedures of crafting deals, creating pathways for aid and money to enter the country, and most importantly, negotiating the release of its money, may take a long time, in a country that as Bulos remarks, “has only weeks, if not days.”

Over half of Afghans already lived below the national poverty line when American aid flowed. Now it is expected to reach a figure as high as 98%. Away from the cameras of the international media, the offices of intergovernmental organizations and the airfields of American aircraft, the Afghan people are facing a twofold catastrophe. An eradication of their rights and an eradication of their livelihood. They are stuck between governments unwilling to assist and face criticism, and a Taliban government that is going nowhere. The UN has made a dire prediction for Afghanistan for the coming year, using a phrase that evokes nothing else than terror: “universal poverty.” Over half of Afghans already lived below the national poverty line when American aid flowed. Now it is expected to reach a figure as high as 98%. It is a figure almost completely unheard of. In his prediction for what comes next, Bulos warns that if the financial crisis in Afghanistan does not abate, that “the state in its current form will effectively implode. If there isn’t some kind of relief when it comes to the flow of dollars and aid, the suffering will only get worse.” 49

Portraits of Intimacy By Sofia Rose

Our homes have become all too familar in the past two years . After spending so much time and energy inside, I wanted to explore the intimacy of these inherently private spaces. In capturing room details, individuals and the objects they hold close, these portraits of intimacy act as a glimpse not only into peoples’ homes, but also of the familiarity we were forced to confront.. 51

The Creative Transformation of Peacock Four former Art Directors discuss the publication’s creative evolution and where it might be headed next By Lauren Nanes

ince its genesis ten years ago, Peacock magazine has undergone a plethora of creative changes. From the iconic peacock feather logo featured on the cover of the first issue (and later in letters from the editor), to paper changes, theme titles, color schemes and a 40-page number increase, the publication’s artistic design as we know it today is a decade’s worth collection of students’ creative vision. Advertised in the masthead as “a magazine on the culture and aspirations of international youth,” Peacock has endorsed palette changes, wildly varying covers as well as previously minimalistic and clean layouts that are now filled with color and funky illustrations. Earlier issues showcasing gems of photography are followed by an era of illustration, the two of which being recently combined to mark Peacock’s newest artistic vision as it publishes its 22nd issue. Throughout its transformation, the Peacock remained a publication where self-taught artists are encouraged to be unique and push boundaries. In its constant change of creative vision, pushed by impassioned Art Directors, Peacock magazine has grown into more than just a journalistic outlet, but a space where artistic innovation can thrive and showcase the unfiltered sentiments of its student body. Over the span of its distribution there have been 16 Art Directors, some staying on for multiple semesters, who, through the understated desire to make Peacock look cool, have used design to propel the magazine to professional heights. I talked to Art Directors Sabrina Scholkowski, 27, Jackie Wegwerth, 23, Indi Foerster, 24, and Stella Richman, 21, from the past eight issues of Peacock about their experience and how they believe it has artistically grown.

Sabrina Scholkowski, Winter 2017 What was your creative vision for the magazine and how did you stylistically look to execute it? I wanted to make it more like a fashion magazine where everything was entertaining, but stylized and clean-cut. I wanted a clear and distinct font, clear lines and consistency. We still made it fun with lots of drawings. Indi was a great graphic artist that we had, and so was Jackie. We were trying to elevate it that season. We wanted it to look like a magazine that could essentially be found in a store, something you could potentially buy and take seriously.

Could you explain the cover and your decision to exclude the issue title? We wanted to make it kind of elusive. Magazines like Vogue don’t always have a theme title and the editor and I didn’t want it to seem like a school project. We had a photoshoot for the cover and I chose the image that I thought was most stylish; the model was a student and heavily featured in the magazine. We chose a white background because we wanted it to stand out from past issues. We hoped someone would look at it and think it was an art book, only to realize it was a magazine.

I noticed you kept the peacock feather logo. Was that a deliberate choice? We definitely wanted to have the feather to be a bit cheeky to the Editor-in-Chief. We wanted to find a nice, aesthetically-pleasing image that could illustrate the editor’s personality. I think the idea was for each editor to pick their own version of the feather as a way to see into their personality.

Is there anything you hoped future issues accomplished in terms of design? My one desire is that people working on the magazine continue to push themselves and treat it as more than just a school project. This is something that people on the outside are going to see. I feel like taking it seriously was really good for morale and good for the end product. Everyone was so excited and proud of their work. 48

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Près de notre dame

the city to many romantic souls: in Paris, the scores of drunks and prostitutes do not diminish the beauty of the metropolis—they belong to it. An abundance of expatriates, too, recognized the seductive nature of this poignant, edgy city. Henry Miller, for example, an American writer residing in Paris, drew heavily from his personal experiences in the city to constitute the infamous novel Tropic of Cancer. In fact, upon its publication in 1934, the book was banned in the United States for some thirty years due to its explicitly graphic sexual content. However, the introspective square story of a foreigner in Paris ultimately surpasses its carre louvois decadent façade by painting from the crudest images the portrait of a city in constant motion, revolution, The smallest of the selection is Carré Louvois, which colliding and creating and destroying. While aa square. lot of the is literally Surprisingly, it’s not crowded, despite being visible from the sentimental scenes in which the narrator expresses his street. There are many apartment buildings love for Paris spotlight the fierce personas ofand therestaurants prosti- surrounding the park, so people are most likely indoors which works to your benefit. Set tutes he frequented—their personalities representative in a beautifully tranquil environment, right next to the of a city often characterized as a fickle woman—the Bibliotheque Nationale, it becomes a little sanctuary in essence of Miller’s narrative of the city moves beyondParis. the midst of bustling A visit night could potentially be magical, as it’s the his character’s private feuds and follies toatthe larger place to meet with someone special. Find a bench, view of a man of no state in a city ofperfect no bounds. cuddle is up praised and warm in each other as the temperature drops. The unshackled Paris of yesteryear many forms of art. From Piaf’s odes to Miller’s raunLocation : 69 bis Rue de Richelieu,75002 chy storytelling, the city we come to know through the strokes and verses of the past stands for life in free form, undefined by limits imposed by law or society. In films like the 2017 release Nos Années Folles, we are made to understand that desire, as opposed to decency, drove the actions of citizens of the metropolis. Other depictions of the belle époque similarly frame this

Sous le ciel de Paris

Parfois couve un drame

Jardin catherine-laboure Coule un fleuve joyeux

Oui mais à Paname

Tout peut s’arranger At first glance,

Hum hum

it looks to be the most

underwhelming of the selection,Il butendort let it not fooldans you. la nuit Quelques rayons It doesn’t have the perfectly nit-picked scenery of most Parisian gardens, but the real beauty lies in the Les clochards et les gueux Duuntamed ciel d’été authenticity of its nature. The charm of this park is the gorgeous pergola, the sprawling of vines that seem to create a sort of sheltered passageway straight out of a dream. You become enrobed in the peaceful greenery in a space that looks so rural yet is smack in the middle of the city. In such a small area, there is so much to see, and it’s close to Rue de l’Université, so there’s no excuse not to check it out.

L’accordéon

Are Paris’s lights going out? Reflections on the transformation of the parisian spirit

by isabel guigui

f you know your epithets halfway, you will have learned that the Eternal City is Rome and the City That Never Sleeps is New York. But where does that leave the City of Light? Its origins date back over two millennia, but the golden age has long seen its end: rumor has it the light of Paris has been put out. You might have heard it from the would-be cultural savant, or the earthier backpacker now recommending the lesser-known “must-see” cities of Europe. But if you are up and about the city, you have most likely heard it from the Parisians themselves. Of course, if you have spent only a short stint of time in the right company, you will also have noticed that the French love to complain. The topics of distress may concern the dismal commute on line 13 or the proliferation of foreign chains in the city , but another popularly cited subject of conversation is the simple, bitter statement: “Paris is az-been.”

Sous le ciel de Paris

D’un marinier

Les oiseaux du bon dieu

L’espoir fleurit

Hum hum

Viennent du monde entier Au cielLocation de Paris : 29 Rue de Babylone, 75007 Pour bavarder entre eux

Etymology may lend a fascinating narrative of peoples and their places, so it is no surprise that one manner in French of expressing chaos is to call a place a bordel, or bordélique—which is also a word for a whorehouse, obviously a place of chaos and ill-repute. The city about which Piaf croons so lovingly, as she describes how the Seine’s reassuring whispers lull the homeless and the beggars to sleep, was so fabled and fabulous precisely because of its chaos. Her juxtaposition of the all too evocative image of tramps sleeping by the river with the lovely depiction of the soldier playing accordion summarizes exactly the inherent appeal of

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period of prosperity as the pinnacle of life according to the paramount French principle of joie de vivre. In the wistful retrospective Midnight in Paris, Woody Allen’s endearing interpretation of the era’s great players drink, smoke, write, argue, inspire, and pile into cars to whirl through the city in search of beauty and meaning. It is only human to romanticize the past, but putting aside the charms of specific characters from films and portraits we are nonetheless left with an impression of a Paris of souls wandering freely, engaging in illicit affairs, and slinking through the night to catch live music at all hours.

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The new

CURATOR

So, it is that the seat of the nation whose language was once the tongue of international diplomacy, the long-established epicenter of fictitious, journalistic and philosophical writing, the pied-à-terre of the world’s boldest artists, the birthplace of the classic fashion icons and the origin of many a timeless record is now widely referenced as a shadow of its past self. No doubt Paname, (a moniker for the city born from the hot trend of Panama hats at the turn of the 20th Century), remains one of the most important and influential cities in the world. From its continued hegemony in the realms of fashion and arts to its hosting of thousands upon thousands of concerts, music festivals, conferences and conventions annually, Paris continues to be a point of interest on the global stage. But today it is no longer the focal point: The City of Light no longer shines as brightly. When we hear that Paris is dead, this woeful chant, this despairingly re-appropriated refrain of helplessness blues, the sad melody is less a critique of the current political or social state than it is a mourning cry for the past. Nostalgia grips the citizens of la Ville Lumière, who see in today’s tourist spots a ghoulish mockery of what once was; a poor replica of falsified feelings as opposed to the authentic, gritty, seedy, beautiful madness. Edith Piaf, the legendary sparrow, sang “Paroles Sous le Ciel de Paris” with candor of the chaos but with great pride of her home, too, capturing the spirit of time’s past.

How curating may have escaped the art world

by teresa segovia

n a quaint candlelit Serbian restaurant in downtown Vienna, around glasses of wine and boxes of cigarettes, ten emerging curators discuss the specifics of their imminent exhibition. It is almost as if you have walked into a 1940s movie, only something feels different—it is a table with nine women and a single man. Ten different nationalities, all of them carefully discussing the fine details with which they plan to curate their first exhibition. They have been admitted to BLOCKFREI, an artistic institution that describes itself as “an independent cultural organization which embodies the concept of mobility of artists and cultural professionals.” As part of the program, participants visit artist studios, meet institutional and freelance curators, and analyze museums and art collections, eventually culminating in the opportunity to curate a group exhibition in a gallery space. For most, the word curator alludes to art world. It is commonly understood as a person in a cultural institution who is entrusted with preserving historically significant material and safekeeping the heritage that comes with it. According to An Anti-Glossary of Photography and Visual Culture, “the term has an intriguing link with the religious term curate, from the Medieval Latin curatus, somebody who assists a priest and is responsible for the care (of souls).” However, it appears the role of the curator, as well as the use of the word, has evolved with time. People refer to themselves as curators or use the phrase “curated by” to describe jobs such as a store manager, website designer, DJ, or blogger, among many others. What do you imagine when you hear the word curator? Is it someone in a museum basement with dusty works of art? A glamorous art connoisseur and gallerist surrounded by chic contemporary art collectors holding a glass of champagne? Or a hipster making a playlist on his SoundCloud for an underground bar? Language evolves with time—if “curator” first meant an assistant to a priest, then a position in the art world, and now, basically anyone with access to an Instagram profile—the changing usage seems to mirror the world at specific moments. The display of certain materials clearly entails a narrative, and with this comes the connection with the quotidian use of the word today. Today, organizing and consuming content is something we all take part in even in our daily lives, mostly due to social media; anyone can make a collection of songs, artwork, or even articles for publication. The commotion around the word could be frowned upon, encouraged, ignored or simply considered a sign of the times—as a reflection of the society we currently live in. Many “true” curators aren’t too happy with the proliferation of the word in poplar culture. According to Jelena Kaludjerovic, co-director of BLOCKFREI, the word curator should not be used lightly. In fact, when speaking to her, she actively shied away from the term curator and referred to herself as a cultural director.

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Jackie Wegwerth, Spring 2018 In terms of design, what were you looking to create for this issue? The theme was “power,” so immediately I was like, “What if we did something like a comic book with pop art?”; which obviously didn’t happen. As the pieces started taking shape it was easier to better direct where we were taking it, so we went for something more colorful and fun, modern. I wanted it to feel very approachable and familiar. I wanted to play into more drawing and paintings, something to make it feel more personal. The famous Earth cover, blown up into a huge poster that sits in the ASM room, is from this issue. Could you expand on what you were trying to

illustrate? Many of the pieces talked about how people were using their own power to do something bigger. It had a lot to do with technology as well, so I thought of illustrating the idea of saving the world via technology — that’s why there’s the highlighted portion with the “save” hyperlink.

In the previous issue you were the Photography Director. Did that role influence your choice on adding photographs or illustrations to the design? I remember that after working on that issue I just wanted something more visually driven. I wanted [grander] graphics, things that took up the whole page. I wanted something where, when you flipped through it, every page jumped out at you. I definitely made a conscious flip from minimalist to maximalist design.

Is there anything you hoped future issues accomplished in terms of design? I like to dream for the stars. I know when Indi and I first started talking about what we wanted the magazine to do we had the biggest dreams. We wanted pages with cut-outs. We wanted a pop-up book. We wanted everything under the sun, but we were limited in skill set and budget to make any of that happen. I think that everyone going to AUP is so creative and thinks so far out of the box that I’m not even hoping to see something new. I know it’s going to come. 62

In Art We Trust The paintbrush is mightier than the sword. BY SARAH HUGHES

Food Art Week Paris May 31 – June 8, 2018 *See participating locations online on Food Art Week’s Facebook page.

Artistes & Robots April 5 – July 9, 2018 Grand Palais 3 Avenue du Général Eisenhower Paris, 75008

As its name suggests, this festival brings a combination of cuisine and contemporary art to the streets of Paris and its suburbs. This sustainable NGO project was founded in 2015 by Berlin’s one-of-a-kind food/art space, Entretempo Kitchen Gallery, and has had the mission to promote positive environmental and social change through shedding light on issues related to our eating habits. A new theme is adopted each year. Being exhibited in a country that is home to the mouthwatering pain au chocolat and crème brûlée, it is quite surprising that this year’s festival will deal with the subject of “sugar” with the goal of spreading awareness of the current epidemic of diabetes and sugar’s detrimental effects on our health and the environment. For nine days, people will be invited to come together in different venues with exciting art exhibitions, performances, lectures, workshops and, of course, plenty of yummy dinners and culinary experiences. Food Art Week ultimately hopes to connect people through eating, seeing, listening, reading, learning and dancing, to share their backgrounds, values and aspirations for a smarter, healthier future.

This electronics-centric project showcased at the Grand Palais provides a closer look into the new and emerging virtual world. The work on display highlights issues and common questions around the reign of high technology, more specifically: the advent of the artificial imagination. Is a machine able to match the skills of an artist? Could a robot replace a painter or a sculptor? To what extent can one speak of artificial creativity? From the dancing robot of Eric Minh Cuong Castaing, to Michael Hansmeyer’s computational architecture, more than 30 installations, all generated by computer software or robotic machines, have been programmed and installed to mark our sensitive era of the technical revolution that balances on the intersection of fiction and reality. From artists who create machines to machines that then create art, the public will be exposed to robotics, life-size installations and “dream machines” that accentuate not only the intelligence of computer programs, but also their creative abilities. If you’re looking for a total immersion of digital art, this is the event for you.

e’ve all been caught by manifestations in France: from April 3 to June 28, the French National Rail System will be on a rolling strike for two days out of the week. This tradition of protest and debate has been around for years. However, in the age of technology, the stage for social engagement in France has extended past the streets and into the realm of art and culture. These four artistic exhibitions open this spring in Paris illustrate how Parisians and foreigners alike are coming together to react, respond to and reflect on imminent environmental, evolutionary, nutritional and technological changes.

We Love Green June 2–3, 2018 Plaine de la Belle Etoile Bois de Vincennes Paris, 75012

Devenir March 9 – July 8, 2018 Collège des Bernadins 20 Rue de Poissy Paris, 75005

A two-day arts and music festival taking place over the first weekend of June, We Love Green is dedicated to spreading awareness of environmental issues and forward-thinking design. Everything from the eclectic lineup to the eco-friendly art displays, the entire We Love Green experience is bound to its green commitments. So, don’t worry about losing all your euros in the mosh pit, as the 2018 edition is 100% cashless! Simply order your wristband online, sync it with their online app, and top-up your wristband on the go to fund your festival munches and merchandise. While boasting a lineup with some of the freshest and most exciting names in music including Björk, Tyler the Creator, King Krule, Jamie xx and Migos, the festival has also become a hub for educational discussion. The “Think Tank” is an ideas lab that will be located right in the center of the festival. Its aim will be to promote environmental innovation through the exchange of free-flowing ideas, generating lasting impacts on our daily choices and habits to better our ever-changing world.

Since March 9, the Collège des Bernardins, one of the oldest medieval buildings in Paris dedicated to the reflection and research of modern society, has hosted a very original exhibition, inviting visitors to experience art in three stages—through the past, present and future. Bringing together ten emerging artists, professors and alumni of the fine arts school École Nationale Supérieure des Beaux-Arts, the event seeks to address questions such as, “How do we evolve in the world around us? What is our position in climate or political situations, and what can we do today to influence the transformation of our dynamic world tomorrow, the day after, and the years to come?” The “Present” division of the Devenir (becoming) exhibition commenced in early April and will continue to unravel until July 1. Over these three months, the public is invited to observe the collective work of three selected artists and follow the evolution from the first to last day of its presentation. From July 5 to 8, the “Future” will then be examined by round tables open to the public on the question of becoming. The underlying desire of Devenir is to explore the interaction between our own personal evolutions as well as those of the world which we interact with from day to day. Through a highly personal art experience, visitors will be encouraged to come back on several occasions to witness the ever-evolving exhibition, and to come to appreciate that nothing is immutable.

Indi Foerster, Spring 2018, Winter 2018, Spring 2019 Were there any designs that you felt you had to replicate or did you have a desire to make an artistic distinction with each issue you directed? I didn’t feel pressured to embody anything necessarily. As you can see, every issue is extremely unique just like the group of students that work on it. I worked with three different editors and they all had very different visions for the magazine, which was part of the appeal to the position. The project was a great challenge to try to do something intentionally different for each one.

The Winter 2018 issue designs are more intricate and complicated. The table of contents is more colorful and your illustrations, like in the “Taking Sexual Satisfaction into Our Own Hands” piece, are edgier. Could you speak on that? Yeah, the painting of the vagina was a big discussion. I had to present it to Hannah Westley, she was really excited about it. I also had to show it to the Dean and the President. But that’s the perk when you’re the Art Director, you can do what you want with the design. I always tried to take into consideration the purpose of the magazine. I actively tried to show the voice of the students, not just mine, through the color, design and layout.

During your last semester as Art Director do you feel that mastering skills like InDesign helped progress the creative design of the magazine? Yes, I started breaking up the page in interesting ways and thinking out of the box. I gave myself enough time to plot out every single page. I am very proud of each issue that I’ve worked on and you can see I was growing with them. My last issue was one of my favorite ones to do because it felt the most intentional, the least rushed. The whole palette and aesthetic was really out of my comfort zone, but that ended up being a kind of strength. You grew and evolved with the magazine for three semesters. Could you speak towards the artistic growth that you witnessed and experienced?

around, I decided to grab his laptop and look up a diagram of the vagina and point to where he was supposed to be exploring. After that, things finally made sense to both of us. If you’re a woman who has had sex with men, you’ve probably been nominated for an Oscar for your role in He Couldn’t Find the Clit. Many of us have had our fair share of either faking an orgasm, or just not being able to get off. Sometimes the sex just ends up with your mind wandering to thoughts of your leftover tacos waiting for you at home or a reminder of an essay that was actually due before you went to the bar. Cue the fake moaning, and just like that, it’s over, leaving with lady blue balls and continuing the night at home. Many people who are in relationships don’t have to fake orgasms because of the communication and understanding of each other’s bodies, but for those in the world of casual sex, reaching orgasm can be a gamble. The “Archives of Sexual Behavior” included a study conducted in 2017 that surveyed 50,000 people. Of those 50,000 people, 95 percent of straight men climaxed regularly during sex, where only 65 percent of straight women climaxed. An interesting factor was that 86 percent of gay women climaxed. Two separate studies from The Journal of Sexual Medicine (2005) and Obstetrics and Gynecology (2008) gathered information from American and French women and calculated that 16–21 percent of those women have either only rarely experienced and orgasm, or have never had one at all. With a significant portion of straight women stating they have either never had an orgasm or have had to fake it, the question is why? Is it due to a lack of education or communication or is it just an uncomfortable topic to bring up? Asking women if they have ever faked an orgasm leads to some interesting insights. Ally* stated that “I’ve never been able to bring myself The Clitoris to fake it, but I’ve said, maybe we During early fetal development, the penis and clishould try again later? Maybe I should toris have a shared beginning before the biologhave faked it because my partner was ical sex of the fetus is determined. They actually usually disappointed, like they had come from the same developmental tissue which failed. But sometimes it was just the is only adjusted when the Y chromosome in DNA environment or how I was feeling that is activated. The female orgasm (in terms of vagday, etc. It wasn’t always their fault.” inal penetration) is clitoral. The part of the clitoris Another woman, Kelsey* stated, “I that is visible is the clitoral body and the clitodefinitely have. It involved me not ral gland. These are the most familiar to us, but communicating but also just wanting the clitoris is actually much larger than that. Our to get it over with. It was easier to fake bodies are all built differently, therefore the interit than to explain it.” The recurring nal part of the clitoris’s accessibility varies from theme of communication came up. person to person. The internal body of the clitoris Coming from a woman’s perspecextends upwards to the pubic bone, with a shape tive, even though we are all different, similar to a wishbone that stretches along each we all share a common understandside of the vagina. Along with this, the vaginal ing of where and what needs to be canal is lined with a mucous membrane and soft stimulated. tissue that covers the vaginal muscles. In personal experiences, the idea of the female orgasm was something that appeared foreign and challenging for some men. I asked Luke* if he thought men are nervous when it comes to not getting women off, or if it is too much of a letdown when they can’t. He said, “I am [nervous] to an extent. I do get disappointed

When I stepped down and we were interviewing for a new director I believe it was only undergraduates applying. To see a shift in giving people this role who may not have experience but have vision was great. Aesthetically, every issue has been so different. I’m blown away by all of the unique styles. That is something that I hope will never change with Peacock — the constant change.

with myself when I can’t get someone off. I definitely think people, especially guys, are bent on sexual prowess, so if they are confronted with the fact that they aren’t as good as they think they are, it certainly affects their ego.” It’s hard to master anything first try, that’s why patience and communication is key. As female arousal happens, skin is flushed, muscles tense up, the heart rate increases and blood rushes to the genital area. Muscles in the vagina will contract, along with those in the uterus and anus. After the contractions, they will relax. A lot of women experience different things during orgasm. For many women, if the orgasm is strong, the feelings from it will travel throughout their entire bodies. Experiences during orgasm range from tingles on the tips of their noses, seeing colors or feeling like their body is going down the drop of a rollercoaster. To Serena*, “it feels like waiting for water to boil. Once it boils over the pot, that’s the climax, and then your body starts to settle.” Kelsey* compares it to “how waves in the ocean form. They start far out, then slowly gain speed and momentum until the wave forms and crashes down. What is left continues to roll onto shore, and then gets pulled back again.” Curiosity about the female orgasm is becoming less of a taboo subject, and researching it is no longer hushed, but rather encouraged. With the rise of curiosity about the female orgasm, websites like OMGYes have taken female sexuality education into a more mainstream and accessible concept; yet it is for a price. OMGYes has multiple interactive videos that allow the user to experience how-to tutorials on different aspects of the female orgasm, that works to avoid a male-centric perspective and provides a scientific narrative. In the mass media, having the focus taken away from women’s orgasms, and onto male-centric pleasure is just one of the many ways that sex can be perceived as patriarchal, by taking away women’s autonomy and sexual empowerment. Dopamine Asking “Do you like when I do Brain activity during genital stimulation for men this?” is a good way to both ask for and women is the same, yet the biggest difference consent and figure out what your is after the orgasm. The male brain experiences a partner is into. It opens a dialogue “refractory period” where it is no longer responsive that is sexy and allows your partner to genital stimulation, where women’s brains are to guide you in the right direction just as responsive and sometimes even more, which if you aren’t hitting the right spot. is why women are sometimes capable of multiple During a one-night stand, things orgasms in a row. After a female orgasm, chemicals will most likely be spontaneous and are released into the brain, including dopamine and maybe the conversation won’t come oxytocin. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, a chemiup, but if you do ask women what cal that helps transmit signals between the neurons they are into and how you can make of the brain. It is incredibly complex, but in terms of them enjoy themselves more, you sexual pleasure, it is a chemical that causes desire. may be amongst the more memIt is the same as when you eat sweets: you always orable endeavors. Asking women want more. what they need in bed doesn’t have to ruin the moment. Remember, it’s not a race, it’s teamwork. * Names have been changed to preserve anonymity

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Stella Richman, Winter 2019, Spring 2020, Winter 2020, Spring 2021 The Spring 2020 issue happened during the peak of COVID. How did that affect your creative direction?

as it

How bias in facial recognition software targets racial minorities By Magellan McCartney Illustrations by Stella Richman

We couldn’t do photoshoots and we were all separated. Our Photography Director fell through so I was in epic illustrator mode. That’s the illustrated issue. It became my magazine, visually, because I was choosing and creating all the designs for it. I’m proud of how freaky and creative I got with the fonts. I started warping them on my iPad and used more fun colors — I think it really elevated the magazine. By being so artistic, this issue set the tone for the next two of what could be possible.

How did you embody this newness of design and confidence in the next issue? I wanted to keep that inertia from the past issue and that excitement about what could be done creatively. I was hopeful that there would be more photography in this one. I felt I could do more stuff like changing the masthead background to something other than white. This issue had photography from Sofia [Rose] and Louis [Mack]. We were starting to make those connections and set the tone for future issues by having a community of photographers and artists.

The last issue was your final project. What were you inspired to do creatively? I wanted it to be the best, kind of like my magnum opus. The photography in this issue was a game changer. Using photographs as backgrounds for text in articles reminds me of something from Interview magazine, publications that I look up to. I was able to elevate the design by intertwining photography and illustration which took it to a totally different level.

When you look back at your legacy what comes to mind in terms of personal growth and hopes for the future of the magazine? Allowing the writing, photography and illustration to come together in the last issue exploded into an amazing thing. I hope it can be an example that shows what’s possible. I hope the four issues that I worked on, how they changed and evolved, can be a source of inspiration for future issues. I am very excited and optimistic for the future of Peacock. 64

HOW LATIN URBAN MUSIC HAS TAKEN OVER THE WORLD By Sofia Quintero Illustrations by Katia Novak

Bad Bunny 66

trouble in the gayborhood

By Isabella Sibble Illustrations by Amir Webb

On male domination of queer spaces and who is left behind 65

t’s a typical Saturday at Raidd: the place is packed with sweaty, muscular, white guys in various states of undress. I can’t see the bar; hell, I can’t see 10 feet in front of me. We are packed in like Popeyes in a sardine tin. Outside, a buff security guard wearily admits a group of whining drunk girls who stumble through the crowd, jeering and sending splashes of their drinks onto my feet. They bring the total of women up from four to nine out of maybe 90 people. It’s five-til-midnight, and the shower show––an hourly “solo performance” by a man in a plexiglass box, for which the bar is famous––is about to start. The crowd erupts over an unconvincing Lady Gaga dance mix. Strobe lights throw spotlights onto the crowd, splashing vignettes across the room. The tallest guy throws his head back, his arms up, untucking his mesh top from his jeans, and spins in a circle. Engulfed by the green swell of light, two more men finally kiss one another, as if it was choreographed. The light moves again and catches a group of men swaying and laughing as they lip-sync every predictable word of the song. In the midst of my observation, I’m shoved again by a group of youngish men eager to get a better view. It’s now 11:58 and

reality sets in; I do not want to watch this. So I leave; I get it. I am in their space…right? Raidd is one of several gay bars is Paris’ leading gayborhood, le Marais. Nearly nude posters of oiled-up men are plastered inside and out. Phallic allusions are everywhere, and the message is clear: “gay” means men who like men. The same message is echoed across the entire neighborhood. Pride flags are on every block, but any other signs of support for the L, B, T, and Qs of the world are nearly invisible. Every sex shop or tourist trap is clearly advocated to the male experience. The queer theaters feature all-male troupes. The bakeries sell phallic “pain” (“bread”). None of this is new; of course, male privilege pervades even a community as strong as the LGBTQ+ one. What is more elusive is the lesbian bar, which in most places is nothing more than a faint memory. These spaces are fleeting and frail. They are the last to be found and the first to be shut down. In Paris, it is hard to know what a thriving lesbian scene looks like. Is it hidden in the plain sight of our thriving gayborhood? Does it flourish behind closed doors? Or is it simply nonexistent? Lesbian spaces are more of a theory in this city than a reality. They are an idea unfolding through the window of a car on a rainy day: scarce, fleeting and unconfirmed. The history of Paris says that it wasn’t always like this. But when did gay men take over, and when will they ever give up their rule? In 1909, Natalie Clifford Barney founded an intellectual salon at her house, which hosted artists and writers in discussion each week. They read and performed Sappho’s poetry, wrote their own avant-garde works, and rejoiced in who they were as queer women. Colette, Djuna Barnes, Sylvia Beach, Eva Palmer, Greta Garbo, Radclyffe Hall and Gertrude Stein were among the guest list at Barney’s home. Through the First World War, Barney’s salon remained a center for radical queer and pacifist thought.

During the interbellum period, more commercial queer spaces finally established themselves. The roaring 20s saw the rise of androgyny, female empowerment and Paris’ most famous lesbian bar, Le Monocle. The cultural vulnerability that existed in post-World War I Paris was the perfect incubator for a vibrant lesbian community; women had been thrust into the workforce and their independence was no longer despised. For queer women, the aftermath of war meant marital pressures were suspended, which opened up opportunities for sexual exploration

The cultural vulnerability that existed in post-World War I Paris was the perfect incubator for a vibrant lesbian community; women had been thrust into the workforce and their independence was no longer despised.

and community development at places like Le Monocle. Founded by “Lulu du Montparnasse” and located on the Rue Edgar Quinet, Le Monocle was undeniably the hub of public, lesbian life and culture in interwar Paris. Even its name was a reference to its clientele. In those days wearing a monocle was what a carabiner, Doc Martens and cuffed jeans is in the modern context; for those of you still lost, it was a visual cue to others about one’s sexuality. Through the 20s, Le Monocle remained a beacon of lesbian life in Paris, and in 1932, it was the subject of famous French photographer, Brassaï’s work Paris de Nuit. Le Monocle stayed open until World War II. When Paris was occupied, the bar closed, and its regulars were persecuted by the Nazis. With the end of the war came the tightening of social control. Le Monocle tried to reopen and failed; it has been empty ever since. Natalie Barney grew older, her friends dispersed in fear, and her salon grew dusty in vacancy. Queer people were driven back underground as the 1940s and 1950s reinforced conformity, nuclear family structure, and tighter gender roles. Raids were common among gay bars through the 60s and arrests were rampant for those daring

enough to be themselves in public. The door for queer expression creaked open again with the Sexual Revolution in 1968. Birth control was widely distributed for the first time, and gay men began to vocalize and assemble. As members of both these rebelling groups, shockingly, lesbian coverage during this time was limited. The voices of queer women were drowned out by straight feminism and overpowered by gay men. The dominance of gay men grew through the late 70s, but the next two decades were marked by fear, death and uprising. When the AIDS crisis hit France, the queer community exploded with activism. ACT UP began holding demonstrations in Paris in 1989. They carried coffins in processionals across the city, dyed water fountains red, and staged enormous occupations at the city’s most famous landmarks. Beyond their profound and deep role in the expediting of life-saving drug treatments activism groups reignited the queer voice. Gay entrepreneur David Girard established the Paris’s gay newspaper, 5/5, in 1983 and a gay magazine, Gay International, the following year. Girard was also the owner of Paris’s first open gay sauna, and he went on to operate several successful clubs and bars in and around the Marais. Girard’s enterprise, built off ideals of male community and sexuality, played an enormous role in establishing the Marais as a gay men’s neighborhood, and the inequalities still around today serve as living evidence. Professionals in queer space research have identified a cyclical phenomenon that can help identify the disparities we see today in gayborhoods, specifically the domination of queer neighborhoods by cis gay men. Professor of Sociology at the University of British Columbia, Amin Ghaziani describes this cycle in an interview with the Guardian: “Lesbians tend to plug into the existing institutions of an area – coffee shops, theatres, grocery stores. When gay men arrive, however, they tend to build new 68

institutions – new restaurants, stores, bars – and property values start to rise. Straight people arrive last, lesbians are pushed out, and the process repeats.” Given that the men establish their own spaces, it takes longer for them to move to the next neighborhood, which is why the cycle has three distinct phases. The center of reasoning for this phenomenon is little more than male entitlement; simply put, the lesbians do not feel the same need for their own space, and they prefer to join a community instead of factionalizing one.

In a long-standing gay neighborhood like the Marais, this process is slightly different, as it is not a residential area. But it is clear nonetheless that gay men and their spaces dominate. Curious to find out how lesbian bars are affected by the inequities in the queer community from the people who run them, I visited one. La Muntinerie is a self-described bar “queerféministeratranslesbien,” which essentially encompasses everyone cast out by the dominant white, cis gay culture. When I got to the bar, a shocked bouncer scrambled to grab her phone and scan my passe sanitaire. She called for the bartender. The place was empty save for a woman on her phone sitting in a corner booth, a guitar case propped up beside her. I took her to be the night’s musician. I purposefully came early, so that I could have a talk with the employees. I told the bouncer and the bartender about my project. Upon uttering the words ““male domination of queer spaces” they both let out the classic, French, head-shaking sigh and let out a “Bah, ouai.”

They know; they live this. But as we continued our conversation, the bartender spoke about this issue the same way the French discuss bureaucracy, as if it was permanent, and an inconvenience that, if we want a place at the table, we had to deal with. When I asked about how the bar supports queerféministeratranslesbien people, she looked at me and said “On existe.”

An escape from reality through an idyllic internet haven By Linnea Wingerup Photography by Celia Goodman

small lopsided cottage tucked away into a nest of unruly bushes and trees stands dappled in warm sunlight. The garden surrounding the scene is dotted with mismatched flowers of yellow and pink, and there is a small gravel walkway that beckons the path to the too-small front door. Soft, ethereal music plays. Peering inside, dried flowers hang in bouquets from exposed wooden beams and a freshly baked apple pie is perched on the windowsill, the smell filling the space with cinnamon. Yet this scene exists only on the great space of the internet, painted with filters, adorned with hashtags, and placed under the one prominent label: cottagecore. Cottagecore very much embodies this idyllic farm aesthetic; rolling hills of flowers, women in

linen dresses making candles and weaving baskets to hold fresh bread and homemade goods. Yet, the movement lives and flourishes in the very place that it claims to distance itself from: the internet. “‘Cottagecore’ is just one of dozens of iterations of movements fetishizing the countryside and coziness over the past few hundred years,” Rebecca Jennings notes in a Vox article. “And yet the glaringly obvious irony is that it is the first that has existed almost exclusively online.” I didn’t have to look very far in order to find a fan of this growing online aesthetic and community. “I love the cottagecore aesthetic. I think there’s something very nostalgic and youthful about it, it kind of creates this idealistic fairytale, and I think that’s why people are attracted to it.” says Kajsa Wingerup, my younger sister 71

and cottagecore enthusiast currently studying in Scotland. “I grew up with a lot of fairies and magic...there’s something very comforting about it. [C]ottagecore can be a lifestyle, and I honestly think that I grew up in that lifestyle. We had, you know, pixie parties in the backyard every year, and we baked and built little houses for fairies on tree trunks… our [family’s] summers in Sweden in the southern countryside, are very magical.” This magic is then passed onto easily digestible chunks of content on visual platforms like Instagram and TikTok. The hashtaggable videos and photos blow up under simple tags like #green #fairytale #magic and most importantly of all, #cottagecore. “[Cottagecore] really came into its own in 2019, thanks in part to its popularity on TikTok,” notes Noemie Sérieux, the founder of the Instagram account @cottagecoreblackfolk, in an article for Architectural Digest. The videos are gobbled up by young folks who crave a kind of nostalgic lifestyle that, for the most part, they have no real intentions of actually pursuing in real life. Amanda Brennan, a trend expert on Tumblr, mentions that “the sentiments [of cottagecore] are ‘wistful, longing.’ [...] Even if it’s not joy because you’re there right now, but, ‘Just looking at this thing brings me joy and this is what I need right now.’” The fairytale aesthetic therefore makes it inherently recognizable, bringing up those feelings of nostalgia that are seemingly unwarranted. So cottagecore has existed long before #cottagecore was trending; it simply existed as romanticized versions of fairytales and stories that many are told as children. “One of my favorite illustrators, her name is Cicely Mary Barker, [is] famous for her fairy and flower illustrations in the early 1900s.” Wingerup recounts. “I think her aesthetic now would very much be considered cottagecore. She has a couple of really beautiful books that I have which I very much associate with the cottagecore aesthetic.” 72

The aesthetic is an escape; and an idyllic one at that. It also lives in the face of fast-paced capitalism, which encourages to buy, sell, buy some more, go spend money on this event, etc, etc. Cottagecore brings happiness and joy back to the root of simply creating that which you consume, whether it be a batch of blueberry muffins made from scratch, or a brand-new straw hat intended to wear while lounge on a picnic blanket by a babbling brook. Cottagecore thrives in juxtaposition and irony, happily taking up a corner of the internet which celebrates this irony. Anita Rao Kashi writes for the BBC that “while cottagecore might have increased on social-media platforms, it has a more rooted sibling in homesteading, a lifestyle based on self-sufficiency and subsistence agriculture.” So, is it trendy to now think back to artisanal ways of cooking, baking and generally living? The short answer is yes. The pandemic also seems to have played a role in the rise of cottagecore, as the thought of doing nothing in a cottage rather than a tiny 12m² apartment seemed rightfully more appealing. Quarantine and its more restricted lifestyle seemed more than bearable in the cottagecore lifestyle, because it would simply entail going out to collect eggs from the kitchens right outside your door and sewing new skirts out of old kitchen

The videos are gobbled up by young folks who crave a kind of nostalgic lifestyle that, for the most part, they have no real intentions of actually pursuing in real life.

towels and floral curtains. “‘With ample time on our hands when the pandemic hit and quarantine became commonplace across the globe, we turned to finding fulfillment and purpose outside of our monetary potential—and cottagecore was the perfect vehicle,’’ influencer Noemie states. Diving into the world of cottagecore then allows for this full immersivity into a place of no expectations and outside commitments. Picking berries outside a small cottage in the rolling hills of the countryside does not demand for anyone to answer work emails or think about the schoolwork that needs to be submitted by midnight. It encourages sheltering oneself from the rest of the world, and to exist in an aesthetically-pleasing bubble. Cottagecore is successful because it was created on the internet and can therefore be shaped, reshaped and watched over and over again in a perfectly contained virtual space. The world of cottagecore, in all its ironic greatness, exists in this strange space of both online

Cottagecore thrives in juxtaposition and irony, happily taking up a corner of the internet which celebrates this irony. and the need for the fairy-like outdoors. It is a space of magic and fantasy, while being, at its core, a fervent desire for a kind of back-to-nature that can only truly exist because Instagram has trapped us in an aesthetic chokehold of rose archways, freshly baked pastries, and long walks in the fields of emerald. But sometimes, all cottagecore needs to be is a place to play like woodland fairies; and we all deserve that. Pass that pie on the windowsill, would you?

here has been a huge explosion in the popularity of reality love shows over the past few years. During quarantine, reality TV acted as a medium to bring us closer to real people. In an interview with the BBC, Frances Taylor, commissioning editor for comedy and entertainment at Radio Times, notes that recently, “People are turning to more light-hearted, escapist [programs].” But why? While reality shows can offer an escape from the real world, they’re also enjoyed because they allow us to connect to real people. When it comes to dating in this day and age, meet-cutes are rare, so watching reality love shows lets us live vicariously through contestants and watch as they meet the loves of their lives, something we might only wish for while swiping left and right on dating apps. By placing dating and relationships as a part of the cultural zeitgeist, these shows about love are, in a strange sense, this generation’s rom-com. There’s no denying that reality dating shows are entertaining,

but with this increase in consumption we should ask: What are these shows teaching us about dating and relationships today? Contemporary reality dating shows have not only amassed incredible popularity, but have also become the object of a wide range of analysis and criticism. Being classified as “reality” shows, these programs can fail to provide nuance to the issues they film. Simi Olagudoye of Crowd DNA studies at length how race and sexuality are portrayed in contemporary dating shows. She critiques the common practice of colorblind casting, noting that “POC, especially Black people, are expected to exist in a raceless space. But we cannot pretend that dating shows are devoid of racism or racial stereotypes.” She also urges producers to “Give queer-focused shows, and queer cast members, the same exposure that their straight counterparts receive.” Moreover, news outlets like the New York Times have commented on the “lack of acknowledgment” these shows portray

in addressing tropes like homophobia, classism and substance abuse. But just how did today’s reality dating shows become the subject of such intricate analysis and cultural critique? Until the mid 1960s, dating norms followed a strict list of dos and don’ts in terms of finding a perfect match. Dating was a group affair. If you wanted to get to know a member of the opposite sex, you and your friends had to go out with your potential match and their friends; your parents gave permission. Everything was about taking it slow; it was the era of courting. But in 1965 when television producer Chuck Barris created The Dating Game, the once taboo topic of dating was - for the first time - televised, putting this once private affair in the face of the public and giving them the opportunity to observe, ridicule and discuss. As the show grew in popularity, the reality of desiring a quick-fix relationship began to become normalized. Following The Dating Game era of success, many other reality dating shows continued this pushing of social norms. In the 1990’s, MTV’s Date My Mom and Boy Meets Boy redefined the power a reality show could hold by sparking discussion around identity and social issues, as well as compatibility. Singled Out by MTV also changed the game, creating some of the first discourse about toxic masculinity and poor dating behavior, shedding light on some of the harsher realities of dating while simultaneously keeping audiences hooked. These shows, having started conversations about once undiscussed aspects of relationships, paved the way for how today’s dating game has evolved. What do women want? Despite decades of trying to crack this conundrum, female sexual desire still exists as a mystery to many

today. Women are often attached to labels that run across the extreme gamut of everything, from sex-hungry nymphomaniacs to having no desire at all. Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle explores this enigma at length: the aim of the show is for contestants to create an emotional connection as opposed to a sexual one. A voiceover in the show’s introduction asks, “In a world without sex, will they form deeper and more meaningful connections?” In the process of depriving contestants of sex while filling up their days with mindless workshops, the desire for sex becomes the contestants’ main focus, which allows for a space for women to voice their needs. Although the contestants continuously fail at following the rules of the show, that is hardly the show’s point: Too Hot to Handle

also serves as a platform for women to voice their sexual needs and desires to their male costars. The show holds men equally accountable when enforcing the rules, giving viewers the opportunity to see that women crave sex just as much as men. It also gives people a chance to see men and women sharing equal blame for breaking the rules, making it apparent to viewers that it takes two to tango, a refreshing respective shift from the slut-shaming narrative often perpetuated in media. Reclaiming sexuality isn’t just happening on Too Hot To Handle. The topic has also grabbed the interest of the modern grandparent of reality dating shows: The Bachelor franchise, which recently took center stage on a recent season of The Bachelorette. Exiting the limo on Season 25 with a vibrator in hand as a contestant on The Bachelor, Katie Thurston stunned audiences when she unapologetically owned her sexuality on the show like no one had ever seen. As the Season 17 star of The Bachelorette, Thurston made strides, educating male contestants by combining sex education into entertainment challenges, such as having the men participate in a labor simulator and a female sex-ed quiz. In addition to these challenges, Thurston opened about a prior experience of sexual assault, a topic never explicitly discussed at length on the show. Thurston’s story shed light on her own experience and gave a platform for men to show their support, helping to shift the narrative of past abusive behavior by men on the show in the past. Thurston’s season set the standard for how a television show should engage

It also gives people a chance to see men and women sharing equal blame for breaking the rules, making it apparent to viewers that it takes two to tango, a refreshing respective shift from the slut-shaming narrative often perpetuated in media. 78

in conversations about sex, boundaries and healthy relationships. Love Island is one of a popular subset of reality dating shows that possess a more sexual undertone, but the contestants on the show have little to no interest in actually being in a committed relationship. The casual, sexual nature of these shows results in plenty of ego and obsessive double standards perpetuated by male contestants. On Love Island, male contestants are often heard either overly-sexualizing women or doubting their sexual prowess, wondering if women are “all mouth or not,” as said by Season 5 contestant Tom Walker. Comments like this alongside the general standard of shaming of women on the show are undeniably misogynistic, but they stem from something more: the lack of understanding of one’s partner’s needs. Misunderstanding pleasure isn’t a problem isolated to the beaches of Love Island; it’s a common dating issue women face today. Studies from BMC Women’s Health have shown that attachment-related anxiety and avoidance can be centered around a less than satisfying experience; 64 percent of women today still feel that their male partner doesn’t understand her sexual desire. This lack of intimate understanding can lead to women feeling slightly detached from their partner.

“Love Island is a microcosm of the dangers of the inflated male ego, instigating misogynistic behavior under the guise of locker room talk, a potentially harmful precedent to set for a show, especially one in a genre dominated by female viewers.” The brutality of the male libido is nothing new, and with a lack of sexual desire often defined as a female characteristic, men often avoid demonstrating anything other than the highest level of interest in sex. Love Island is a microcosm of the dangers of the inflated male ego, instigating misogynistic behavior under the guise of locker room talk, a potentially harmful precedent to set for a show, especially one in a genre dominated by female viewers.

Especially when competing with other men on one tiny island, the need to prove sexual aptitude combined with lack of understanding, can lead to behaviors of brutality by some men. In an article published by the New York Times titled “Let’s Talk about Male Sex Drive,” Harriet Renee Campbell writes that issues of male brutality shows “a connection between power and sex, but it is a connection mediated by ego,” adding that most instances of male abuse of power lie within ego. Operating under one of the most extreme models, Married at First Sight begins with a walk down the aisle; as the show’s name suggests, the participants have no prior knowledge of who they are about to get married to. This model, although romantic in theory, perpetuates the idea that people should stay in bad relationships no matter how tough it gets, and sets the basis for emotional abuse on the show. Patterns of abuse on the show have gotten so bad that multiple domestic violence organizations have reached out to networks to include trigger warnings before abusive language and behavior is shown. Women’s Aid, a non-profit supporting women and children living in abusive environments have said that they “have received complaints that the relationships shown on screen between [two contestants] is both shocking and disturbing.” Sadly, this behavior has continued; in 2021, Married at First Sight US filled the headlines with recent cases of verbal abuse by couples on the show. There is often a stigma attached to emotional abuse, with the victim not being taken as seriously or not believed at all. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, around 48 percent of men and women in the United States have experienced “psychologically aggressive” behavior by a partner. Shows like Married at First Sight which highlight this behavior risk the normalization of these kinds of interactions between partners for the sake of entertainment value. 80

There are upsides and downsides to dating shows today. On the downside, they mostly portray an inaccurate, even deformed image of how one can find love. Even more so, some shows end up highlighting and romanticizing abusive behavior. But despite these downsides, reality dating shows have always begun conversations on topics much more important than the actual content of the shows themselves. So, maybe consuming reality dating shows isn’t just a waste of brain cells, maybe if we look at them slightly differently, people can learn something about what they don’t want, and keep fantasizing about what they do. And at the very least, a good dating show can teach viewers that love is a wonderful thing, and shouldn’t be something to give up on, even in the direst of times.

Despite these downsides, reality dating shows have always begun conversations on topics much more important than the actual content of the shows themselves.

Violent Delights True crime media seems to be the new public execution, so how can we engage with it ethically?

By Mary Noorlander Illustrations by Kyaira Mitchell

here is something innately human about morbid fascination. From bloody spectacles in the Roman Colosseum, to hanging pirates in public squares, to the popularity of Hunger Games, there seems to be something in us that feels compelled to confront death. Specifically: gruesome, gory, inhumane death. Today, I believe I am no anomaly when I say I would not want to attend a guillotining in revolutionary France, or watch a Victorian criminal be drawn and quartered. As one with comparably sound sanity and a standard moral system, the thought of witnessing a bloody execution sounds

more like trauma than entertainment. However, I would enthusiastically tune into a true crime podcast like “My Favorite Murder” on Spotify, or play my favorite Buzzfeed Unsolved episode while going about the day (that episode, for anyone interested, is “The Monster with TwentyOne Faces”). I am not alone in this; one of the most popular true crime podcasts, “My Favorite Murder,” amassed 34 million monthly listeners in 2016, and Buzzfeed Unsolved currently has 5.12 million subscribers. When one dissects the nature of contemporary true crime, it is—in subject matter, violence, and gruesome curiosity—the

same basis that once guaranteed attendance at public executions. The true crime genre has been massively popular for years. The documentary television series Forensic Files debuted in 1996 (one year after the O.J Simpson trial), and soon became one of the first widely popular forensic science series. Today, common platforms for consuming true crime span podcasts, webseries, and, recently TikTok. The first two platforms are fairly similar in the way they engage with gory subject matter; the general formula involves delving into specifics about notorious cases, usually in the distant-to-modern past. Media sensation surrounding certain cases, as well as the specific violence involved, reflects in the success of true crime media. For example, some of the most-viewed Buzzfeed Unsolved videos under the “True Crime” category include: “The Grisly Murders of Jack the Ripper,” “The Florida Machete Murder” and “The Axeman of New Orleans.” The thread which connects each of these videos, besides their overwhelming success, are the violent deaths they showcase. In “The Black Dahlia,” for example, hosts Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara detail Elizabeth Short’s autopsy, including incisions made on the actress’ mouth while still alive, her corpse drained of blood and severed limbs. The thought of tortures such as the ones detailed here is enough to make most people shudder—is that disgust the reason millions of people are tuning in? Social media is where much debate problematization around true crime consumption arises. Both TikTok and YouTube, for example, contain communities of creators who do their makeup while voiceovers of cold cases and kidnappings play. This is especially questionable when discussing victims with living family members; as Hannah Jackson points out in the Daily Beast, “The breakneck speed of social media increases

the likelihood of causing offense to victims’ memories and long-lasting pain to the bereaved.” This gross sensationalisation of murder is not unique to the TikTok platform, rather, social media in general. “A growing critique of the genre as a whole,” Jackson writes, “is the tendency to lean into crass marketing and clickbait titles, especially when cases deal with children and sexual violence.” When considering the humanity of true crime media, those who capitalize on death, treat the subject matter insensitively, or refuse to empathize with the wishes of vctims’ family members should be unquestionably condemnedTo resolve the question of why true crime is both so popular and so horrifying, we must look at who exactly is tapping into the true crime world. A 2010 study by Amanda M. Vicary and R. Chris Farley shows that women are the overwhelmingly dominant demographic in true crime consumption, “whereas men are more attracted to other violent genres” such as horror films. According to the study, which explores why women are drawn to graphic accounts, Vicary and Farley claim, 83

“women may be attracted to [these stories] because of the potential life-saving knowledge gained from them.” For most women and those affected by misogyny, self-defense is woven into day-to-day routines; femme-presentin people must take precautions against being overpowered, kidnapped, or murdered on a regular basis. If this feminine fear is to be confronted anyway, some may be turning to true crime media which can pass as entertainment. In a conversation with two AUP students—Caitlin Kelly and Anastassia Doubova— we discussed the reasons we ourselves tap into the true crime world. “There’s the same psychological element to true crime as there is to horror movies,” says Kelly, “it creates a sense of safety. You’re watching something dangerous happening, or something violent, but you’re in the comfort of your own home and you can pause it at any time. Maybe it has to do with that— feeling more safe.” Doubova agrees, adding, “Sometimes I watch true crime in the morning, or right before I go to bed. For some reason, these don’t scare me, but horror movies do.” Although this media appears to be two-dimensional entertainment, it provides, for many, a semblance of preparedness, or even control, over victimhood. With this female demographic in mind, it is interesting to note the way true crime is marketed: specifically to white women. In an interview with the Metro UK, Brooke Hargrove, host of the popular true crime podcast The Fall Line, claims “the primary audience targeted for true crime ... based on advertising campaigns certainly seems to be white women,” despite the fact that white women are “much less likely to be the victims of violent crime” when compared to women of color or trans women. The most famous true crime cases most typically feature young, conventionally attractive, white women like Elizabeth Short (the Black Dahlia) or Lynda Anne Healey (victim of Ted Bundy). Oppositely, the disappearances of women of color are much more likely to go 84

unreported, much less receive the media attention as missing white women. Most recently, the Gabby Petito case sparked mass interest concerning “what’s behind our fascination with certain kinds of victims.” The disappearance of Petito, a young, blonde, white woman, dominated media coverage throughout Wyoming (where she went missing), and grew to global news. Helen Rosner of The New Yorker writes, “critics noted that the coverage of her [Petito’s] disappearance … dwarfed the attention that both the media and law enforcement pay to other missing and murdered people, especially those who are Black and indigenous.” Rosner goes on to define Petito’s case as an example of “a hunger for stories about victims who look like Petito, to the exclusion of all others.”

Although this media appears to be two-dimensional entertainment, it provides, for many, a semblance of preparedness, or even control, over victimhood. The National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (MMIWG) writes in their mission statement, “For far too long, Indigenous women and girls have been publicly devalued or ignored. People’s general perceptions have been shaped by harmful colonial stereotypes.” The Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW) movement has been declared a Canadian national crisis, as well as a genocide; the Royal Canadian Mountain police estimate that 1,200 Indigenous women went missing or were murdered between 1980 and 2012. In spite of this US-Canadian mass movement, shockwaves are only sent through media

and political offices when white women go missing, now encompassed in the moniker “missing white woman syndrome.” Coined by late journalist Gwen Ifill, the term refers to media coverage of young, attractive, cisgender upper-class white women relative to media coverage (or lack thereof) of missing women and girls of color, lower-class women, trans women, or missing men and boys. “I know so many Indigenous families that have had to suffer in silence for so long. Without recognition, or even acknowledgement, our people seem to be seen as less important, less memorable,” says Shandiin Vandervere, a Native student at AUP. True crime media, in general, is centered around the deaths of white women, and is therefore marketed to and consumed primarily by that same demographic. True crime being a source of entertainment for young-to-middle-aged white women adds an additional dimension to the true crime/public execution parallel. Historically, executions were most popularly attended by the bourgeoisie or middle class. Now, those with free time—a distinct characteristic that distinguishes the so-called “middle class—are those consuming true crime content. Simultaneously, large corporations like Buzzfeed are profiting from narratives centering murder and sexual assault; phenomena which disproportionately target women of color. A major concern true crime fanatics should be considering is at what point this spectacle may blind us from inhumanity. “What I find disturbing is when true crime shows cover things that have happened recently, and people sensationalize a

case,” comments Kelly, They come up with their own theories, or ask their audience to think of theories when the case has actually been solved, and the family just wants peace. It’s insensitive to the family; I’ve seen videos of people who say their sibling was killed, asking people to stop putting it in their podcasts and to stop theorizing about their death.” For some viewers, it seems as though the entertainment aspect of true crime has become the dominant aspect, under which the very real lives of victims and family members are trampled.I am in no position to color true crime as an innately evil or innately moral source of entertainment. However, the way we consume this very personal, often gory media needs to shift from the detached passivity we see in TikTok makeup videos and background noise for middle-class white women. If we start viewing true crime podcasts and documentaries as the serious material they are, perhaps we can remove the spectacle aspect that makes this media more public execution than thoughtful content. Self-awareness around any media we consume is wise, especially one that has existed for centuries. But when it comes to death and crime, or other subjects as heavy as those we find in our favorite true crime podcasts and TV shows, this kind of critical thinking is crucial. To the everyday listener of murder and mystery, including myself, I encourage a thoughtful level of consciousness: where is our individual threshold that divides entertainment from insensitivity?

More Than a Face Mask & Green Juice

Exposing the harsh realities of self care By Sofia Quintero Illustrations by Agata Kożuchowska

aving a solid skincare routine, trying out a new smoothie and wearing an overnight hair mask are all activities that have intertwined with what society perceives as self-care. Although these hobbies can release endorphins and lower stress, they are short-term and minimal. Are they indeed self-care? The most important part of the concept is doing what truly helps us to live a happier and healthier life, which isn’t always pretty. Taking care of ourselves is different for everyone. So, in short, the answer is no. Marketing companies have taken over the meaning of self-care, and have transformed it into a term that works as an excuse for anything and everything, including overindulgence. If we had a bad day at work or school, we can convince ourselves that ordering pizza and beer is exactly what we need to feel better because that’s what self-care is all about, right? How can we disconnect from this marketing conditioning we have all become accustomed to? And can we start to practice honest and undisputed self-care? Pamela Montfort, one of AUP’s guidance counselors, defines self-care as “doing things that promote our well-being and reduce stress to maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves.” She expressed that there are many ways of practicing self-care every day, and that the essential

part of it is identifying which activities work for us. If doing a particular activity nourishes our body, mind and soul, it is vital to practice it. For students and young adults especially, holding a routine and committing to it every day can be a challenging task to achieve. Montfort’s advice includes choosing activities that are realistic and manageable. At the same time, it is also important to do these in a balanced and healthy way that builds an effective routine and a sense of well-being. In her list, Montfort includes meditating, describing your surroundings using your five senses, sleeping, volunteering, journaling, listening to music, going to therapy, cleaning your space, reading, trying something new, exploring new places and going out to eat. Some of these are small acts and activities that you can do on your own and require little to no time at all. In talking to Avery Harle, a senior at AUP, I took a look inside her daily rituals and how she maximizes her health and well-being: “For me, having good hygiene, eating well, drinking water, working out, sleeping enough and not drinking too much make me feel good both physically and mentally,” Harle says. Building a routine and sticking to it requires everyday motivation and discipline. One of the easiest ways to overcome this challenge is by creating 87

a schedule. Taking breaks throughout the day and practicing breathing exercises can help “reduce stress, worry less and it enhances feelings of resiliency,” says Montfort. Having regular times for eating, going to bed early and rising in the morning, exercising and working or studying can help maintain a sense of normalcy. Eating healthily every day is challenging, especially when heating a frozen pizza or ordering takeout is easy and takes minimal effort. However, “the foods we choose to nourish our bodies can have a tremendous impact on our mental and physical health,” Montfort explains. The beauty and health industry has shifted the consumer’s view of what self-care is, and how it should be done. Today, the word self-care has become a buzzword all over social media and brand campaigns, making it easier for brands to advertise their products. Many of these clever marketing campaigns have led us to believe that buying a Peloton bike or having the latest smoothie blender will help us achieve the best version of ourselves, but this could not be further from the truth. Mental health and self-care is complex and difficult, having a spa day will not fix it. Although treating ourselves to a candle-lit bath, having a glass of wine and doing a face mask can be a part of our self-care routines, but it is not to be mistaken with what authentic selfcare looks like. Montfort expresses that “the products themselves are not the problem. The problem is that they are often presented in ways that give the illusion they can magically and permanently provide reassurance and comfort. Unfortunately, they also reinforce the idea that we need these things to cope with difficulties which can lead to 88

“Although treating ourselves to a candle-lit bath, having a glass of wine and doing a face mask can be a part of our self-care routines, but it is not to be mistaken with what authentic self-care looks like.”

the opposite effect.” Harle agrees, noting that “self-care products and brands take advantage of the face-masks-solves-all concept, and now it is focused on a product rather than a routine or a ritual.” The most challenging aspect of self-care is understanding that it is not selfish but rather necessary. Montfort’s last piece of advice has to do with differentiating when treating ourselves is rewarding and toxic. “There is a difference between treating ourselves to forget about difficulties, developing a toxic coping mechanism and treating ourselves to build a healthy relationship with ourselves.” Self-care truly comes down to balancing our needs, knowing what makes us feel good, and treating ourselves occasionally as a reward or as a break. If they are carefully chosen, with a healthy purpose, and in a balanced amount, a face mask and bubble bath can be the perfect prize. Knowing what works best for us and understanding that self-care looks different for everyone is key to developing a ritual that will benefit us in the long run. Taking care of ourselves is a journey, a process. Seeking help when we need it, recognizing the importance of self-awareness and checking in with ourselves is a practice that benefits everyone. Although the reality of self-care isn’t always pretty, in the long run, facing this reality will help us all become healthier, happier individuals.

Is wearing vitage fur a proponent of animal cruelty or a statement on sustainable fashion?

The Ethical dilemma of vintage furs

Written and photographed by Madita Schrott

few weeks ago the seemingly perfect winter jacket caught my eye at a secondhand store: a black, cropped coat with a rounded collar, soft and warm enough for winters in Paris. It didn’t cross my mind that it was so perfectly comfortable because it was real: only €20 for an authentic fur coat seemed absurd. It wasn’t until I was home, observing the fabric that was almost too good to be man-made, that I realized it wasn’t. I was wearing a Persian Lamb sheep coat. As a committed vegetarian who has criticized people for wearing vintage fur in the past, I was now wearing my really cute, but once alive, coat around the city. Always with a little shame, I started talking to people about their thoughts on second hand fur and asked myself the question: Can vintage fur be worn ethically? Many agree on fur being a product that should not be bought new, but being a symbol of status and style for decades, an abundance of fur produced long in the past is still laying around our grandmothers’ basements or hanging in second hand stores. While vintage fur does not increase

the production of new fur directly, it can still support the fur industry. If the look of fur was to get fashionable again, the demand for all fur would go up, old and new. “If you have strong reasons to oppose the fur industry then wearing a fur coat can symbolize your implicit support of the industry,” says Professor Elena Berg, Director of the Joy and Edward Frieman Environmental Science Center at AUP. She notes that “wearing any fur can be viewed as problematic.” Fur as a new trend would also support the production of faux fur, which might be a cruelty-free option, however not a sustainable one. Synthetic fabrics take much longer to break down than natural ones and are also a big source of microplastics. A 2016 study found that washing a synthetic jacket, like a faux fur coat, could release up to 1,174 milligrams of microfibers into the ocean to add to the 269,000 tons of plastic already there. Some labels also lie, as the Humane Society International found out, advertising real fur as fake, because the production of faux fur can be more expensive than acquiring real fur from 89

farms. “If you are driven by environmental conShe wouldn’t buy vintage fur herself, yet she cerns, then yes, vintage furs are fine,” Berg thinks, approves of it. “I don’t think that anyone can be “particularly if that keeps you from buying a syn- a perfect activist,” she says. “If you’re consistent thetic coat with an additional carbon footprint.” about educating yourself and those around you If not to be worn, millions of pieces of clothing about the weight of wearing animals and what on this planet would go to decay, and new coats new fur is, I’m personally comfortable with it.” and hats would have to be produced in place. The While the demand for fur has decreased exanimal killed for the fur would have been killed cessively in the past decades, over 1 billion anunnecessarily, forgotten and discarded where imals, mainly minks, foxes and chinchillas, are it could have been worn and cherished. But is still killed every year just for their fur alone. In the fact that it would otherwise just lay around many places, fur is acquired as a byproduct of enough to justify wearing a dead animal that the meat industry, in the way that most leather is could promote the killing of more? today. Rabbit fur, for example, used to be taken “I believe fashion is making a statement,” says from rabbits being killed for their meat, until the John Vélez de Segovia, 18, a Journalism major industry moved to taking the thicker pelt of older at AUP. He believes that “the consumption of rabbits, discarding and wasting their bodies. The animal products is bizarrely prioritizing of quantity over morbid, considering one is morality has led the indus“If you’re consistent either eating or wearing a detry to factory fur farming. about educating your- Animals are being specifically ceased animal.” He wouldn’t call himself an animal adself and those around bred and raised only to be vocate, but calls it rather a killed for their skin, oftenyou about the weight “natural understanding” to times under cruel conditions. of wearing animals respect animals’ lives. “The Investigations by PETA uncovstatement of wearing fur is ered scenes of overcrowded and what new fur is, [that] either one is blissfully cages, limited access to food I’m personally comunaware of the production and water and exposure fortable with it.” of fur, or [that] one is either to disease and parasites. aware of the horrors of the Spending their short lives production of fur and they locked up and unable to live choose to still wear fur, which is telling of who out natural behavior, most animals show signs they are as a person.” of mental distress, circling endlessly around their Hailey Coates, 22, a public health worker and cages or biting on their own skin. Many workers environmental activist in St. Croix and agrees reportedly did not always make sure the animal that judgement is appropriate towards supportwas unconscious before tying them up and skiners of the fur industry. ning them. “Personally, I don’t judge others for eating meat As one luxury fashion brand after another, so I’m not sure why I judge people more for wear- including Chanel, Prada and Vivienne Westwood ing fur. Knowing someone bought new fur would swear off the incorporation of fur as a fabric, the show me that they didn’t educate themselves industry is still estimated to be valued at $40 bilabout what they were buying, and if they did, they lion. “I do not believe we will be able to completeclearly don’t care about animals.” ly stop producing fur”, says Sophia Kraft, 21. She 90

is a fine artist and has been a vegan for five years, choosing “products that avoid the intervention of animals normally,” but can’t deny an attraction to fur. To her, vintage fur is “a guilt free way of letting yourself enjoy the seduction without the guilt.” Since humans have been wearing fur since the dawn of time, and considering people carry out morality in different ways, she would never judge someone for weaning fur: “At the end of the day if you order steak tartare but refuse to wear or buy a fur jacket, what are you trying to prove?”

Professor Berg doesn’t seem too worried about the future of real fur, suggesting that the look has already faded. “In my childhood wearing fur coats was synonymous with wealth. Now it is more a sign of eccentricity and is much less mainstream.” She thinks already existing fur is fine to wear, “but let’s focus on shifting into sustainable fashion.” With cruel conditions in a flawed industry on one side, and questions of sustainability and respect towards animals on the other, it seems that

Not only worn as full pieces but found as details on jackets, boots and hats, and considering the cyclicality of trends, the look of fur probably won’t ever leave fashion completely, the question is only how it will hold up in the future, as our world is demanding sustainability more and more. While Kraft sees more brands make use of faux fur in the future, she would prefer to use what’s already there: “I hope that the direction goes more towards repurposing all the fur that already exists in the world.”

the dilemma of what to do with vintage furs has no clear answer. As for my personal dilemma, It might be frequency illusion, but fur has been impossible to avoid on the streets. It’s not only the old women in their ancient mink coats now, but people all around the city and vintage stores full of fur jackets that make me think fur is making its way back to the mainstream. While fur makes us look great and keeps us warm, we must be aware what modishness could mean to animals and our world.

Sofia Rose, Photography Director

Abia Noumbissi, Art Director

Differences Aside

Corrie Delva, Deputy Art Director

With the American University of Paris being a hub of internationality and diversity in the city, it was important to create a photo series of the AUP community that reflected this. The photos were taken with a homogenous composition to accentuate the individuality of the people in front of the lens.

Deputy Editor, Lindsey Varkevisser

Editorial Advisor, Marc Feustel

Photo Essay by Louis Mack

A Love Letter To The Peacock Reflecting on the platform’s 10th anniversary By Rachel Nielsen

Dear Peacock, Ten years later, after hours and hours spent holed up creating and changing layout, writing articles, taking and editing photos, building you into something beautiful and coherent and meaningful, you are still here. You are here and continuing to evolve with each set of hands you pass through. Aesthetics change, as do values and understandings, our cultural cornerstones shift and reset, and you are a testament to how all these things embody our current societal lens. I wanted you to be a platform for all the things that couldn’t exist within the confines of other media. Your aesthetic nature facilitates features of deep and varying perspectives that readers can retain, which is near-impossible in different media. You pose different contexts that readers might not have considered, and that is what you were meant to do. And this couldn’t have been successful without the ethos of AUP – international to its core. Ten years after your inception, it’s hard to fathom that somehow you have existed – adapted and continued to exist – despite the chaos of 2020 and its continued aftereffects. You have chronicled these moments and translated them into something of relevance, turned both current events and feelings into something tangible that we can point to and say, “This is what happened.” Voice is the collective. Yours has changed throughout the years, which has maintained your contemporary pulse – something vital in cultural expression. And yet. We have reached a pinnacle, ten years passed. The full context of culture is reflected in both the past and the present, each working in lockstep to bring our societal lens into focus. What better time to reflect on who you are, who you will become?

Rachel Nielsen Co-Founder

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