Winter 2023: The Noise Issue by The Peacock Magazine

the

NOISE issue

Cover photograph by Mode Cirtautaite Modeled by Lilly Mildenberger This magazine is printed by Tanghe Printing, Belgium in 2023

WINTER 2023 / VOLUME 13.1 EDITOR IN CHIEF Reya Divekar

DEPUTY EDITOR Paloma Kluger

ART DIRECTOR Mia Baccei

PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR Pablo Monfort Millan

STAFF WRITERS Grace Amjad Connor Ballard Gabby Bashizi Kaetanno Fernandes Maple Hughes Madeleine Kruger Lilly Mildenberger Pablo Monfort Millan Karina Peterneamt Anca Raicea Johanna Sletten Larsson

MANAGING EDITOR Caroline Sjerven

COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER Fiona Schlumberger

EDITORIAL ADVISOR Marc Feustel

FREELANCE WRITERS Sarah Affonso Delaney Callaghan Isabelle Devitt

CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Hana Helfand Pablo Monfort Millan

ILLUSTRATORS Mia Baccei Reya Divekar Pablo Monfort Millan Lilly Mildenberger

PHOTOGRAPHERS Gabby Bashizi Mode Cirtautaite Kaetanno Fernandes Pablo Monfort Millan

A MAGAZINE ON THE CULTURE AND ASPIRATIONS OF INTERNATIONAL YOUTH 1

TABLE 06—07 Letter from the Editor by Reya Divekar 08—11 Americans and their Big, Loud Mouths The linguistic nuances between the French and the Americans by Gabby Bashizi 12—15 To BeReal. or not to BeReal. A social media performance by another name by Delaney Callaghan 16—21 What’s On Your Desktop? by Pablo Monfort Millan 22—27 Welcome to the Opera Influencing before the digital revolution by Kaetanno Fernandes

CONT

OF 28—32 One Size Fits All? How ballet core undermines women in society by Paloma Kluger 33—35 Brown Noise Coping with microaggressions as an Indian living abroad by Sarah Affonso 36—39 Digital Literature in the Lands Between A restrospective look at “Elden Ring’s” narrative design by Connor Ballard 40—43 Mon Amour Meets Monstrous A comedic chronicle of Parisian dating misadventures by Anca Raicea 44—49 Artificial Minds, Real Fears Art’s uncertain future in an AI world by Maple Hughes

ENTS

50—57 Cooking a Connection AUP students share their flavors from home by Madeleine Kruger 58—61 Byte-Sized Learning TikTok’s growing power to educate by Grace Amjad 62—65 When I Was Younger ADHD Didn’t Exist Understanding mental health stigma and modern realities by Lilly Mildenberger 66—75 The Parisian Influence Creating content amidst the city’s hustle by Karina Peterneamt

76—77 Too Tuned in to Tune Out Can we press pause on the noise inside? by Isabelle Devitt 78—81 3 a.m. in Paris After dark in the city of lights by Gabby Bashizi & Lilly Mildenberger 82—86 Spotify Wrapped How your emotions reflect your music taste by Johanna Sletten Larsson 87—88 An Ode to the Oxford Comma by Gabby Bashizi

letter S

ometimes, I think my generation may have

such an integral part of our lives?

been the last raised in a bubble isolated

Much of our animosity towards the digital bub-

from the digital world. Call it simple nos-

ble springs from the exponential rate at which it

talgia—my recollections of early childhood are

has evolved. It’s intrinsic to human nature to be

kids laughing on swings, printed cookbooks and

resistant to change.

video cassettes, the crinkle of my father reading

But as much as resistance to change is inherent

the newspaper at the breakfast table. The sounds

to the human condition, change and development

which surrounded us were literal in their defini-

itself is just as interwoven with our existence. And

tion: music, murmurs, shouts, whispers.

yes, the information influx can be overwhelming;

The past decade has seen a rapid increase in the

but it’s not all negative. Our digital spaces foster

frequency of our technological use and how we re-

connections across temporal and spatial, allowing

main connected to other people. Our modes of so-

us to connect on a scale that is unprecedented.

cialising have moved online; our points of interac-

This issue grapples with the concept of noise, in

tion focalise in our Instagram DMs, on FaceTime,

all its forms and connotations: the chaos inside our

and over endless threads of texts. Online, nothing

own minds, how we literally talk and communicate

exists in isolation, no longer sacred to the physi-

with one another, the oversaturation of voices in

cality of spaces. Our news sources, connections to

the digital sphere, and unwarranted critique. Palo-

our loved ones, entertainment, our space of work

ma Kluger writes about how external misconcep-

and of learning all cohabitate in the same digital

tions surrounding the ballet industry only further

space. The world has moved infinitely closer; too

add detriment to an already high-pressure career.

close for comfort.

Using personal anecdotes, Sarah Affonso explains

As our digital lives become oversaturated, we’re

how the feeling of being othered manifests in a

filled with a sense of overwhelm that is too strong

foreign country when you’ve got an unfamiliar ac-

to disconnect from. Were we ever meant to be this

cent. In an attempt to uncover whether we’ve re-

connected to the rest of the world? How do we ex-

ally gone too far in terms of our intertwining with

trapolate ourselves from something that’s become

tech, Maple Hughes explores the implications AI

the

from holds on the future of something as organic and human as art.

back and filter out the noise. I’m so grateful to have created this issue along-

But this issue also attempts to detach the con-

side such inspiring individuals. I owe Marc

cept of noise from negativity, instead highlighting

Feustel for his ease and the humour he peppers

the importance of connection when we’re the ones

into his invaluable advice, without which the

in control of how much and how we’re regulating

production of this magazine wouldn’t be possi-

our sensory intake. Gabby Bashizi writes about

ble. To Caroline Sjerven and Fiona Schlumberger

the way the French and Americans speak, alluding

for being guiding pillars of this organisation and

to an underlying similarity between two cultures

support alongside the rest of the Peacock Board.

which seem so dissonant. With a series of sweet

Thank you to Pablo Monfort Millan for his dedi-

recipes, Madeleine Kruger touches upon how the

cation and insightful suggestions and to Paloma

art of cooking can foster a connection even when

Kruger for being committed and one of the most

we’re away from home. Grace Amjad highlights

efficient editors I’ve ever met. And last but not

how TikTok—an app that’s criticised for pulling

least, I could never have done this without my

people into the social media bubble—could be used

work-wife Mia Baccei—her artistic wit, above-av-

for productivity and learning.

erage competence and rigorous work ethic have

The noise is here to stay. Sometimes it’s a melo-

shaped this magazine into what it is today. It’s

dious harmony; sometimes it’s cacophonous. We

been a fantastic run; here’s to one last sign off.

can’t dissociate ourselves from the bytes of infor-

As ever,

mation floating around us online. What we still have agency over, however, is how much noise we allow ourselves to interact with. We can’t untangle how intricately our lives have merged with the online. But what we can do is decide when and how much input to accept. Put your headphones on, sit

editor

AMERICANS

BIG, LOUD 8

AND THEIR

MOUTHS 9

The linguistic nuances between the French and the Americans By Gabby Bashizi

Photography by Gabby Bashizi

here are no two cultures which contrast

comparing the ways that French and American

more explicitly—French culture oozes

people speak. It is not just volume related; the el-

class: meticulously crafted outfits, philos-

evated speech and quiet, forceful tones of French

ophy-centered education and elevated cuisine cre-

contrast starkly with the American-English way

ate an air of elegance on the world stage. Alongside

of communicating, which is more basic, with a use

this sophisticated vibe, the brash American stands

of volume rather than tone to create emphasis.

out even more starkly. Everything about Ameri-

Herein lies a more nuanced observation of cultur-

cans seems to elicit disdain from the French; from

al difference.

the way they unabashedly take up space to the way

“It’s very easy, even in the streets, to recognize

they embody the perceived American arrogance.

Americans,” says Azzan Comis, a student at The

Diplomatic relations between the two countries

American University of Paris, who himself is

date all the way back to February 6, 1778, when

a speaker of both languages, and who has hung

France recognized the United States as a sover-

around a fair amount of Americans in his life.

eign country. The friendliness between them has

“It’s not that they’re yelling, I don’t think they’re

been punctuated by temporary rivalries and triv-

shouting, it’s more a confidence thing,” he contin-

ial disagreements, but by and large, our countries

ues graciously.

are close in the international sphere. It’s estimat-

Comis’ observance of American behavior is ac-

ed that almost 100,000 Americans currently live

curate, and when compared to the French manner

in France. That number pales in comparison to

of existing, is very interesting. The French, he says,

the nearly 5 million tourists from the US traveling

are more withdrawn, more likely to keep to them-

to France each year. Not only is this a classic phe-

selves, and more likely to continue existing within

nomenon, it’s also a widespread one.

their own groups. This boils down to a cultural dif-

We’re all aware of this media-driven, common—

ference; perhaps it is the case that French people

and sometimes true—perception of the two na-

are more closed off initially, harder to get to trust,

tionalities. It is sensationalized on television and

harder to make friends with. It can be seen in their

on social media. What is perhaps more interesting

quieter way of speaking, and their caution to not

is how this broad, exaggerated stereotype plays out

disrupt the social setting they’re in while talking.

on an interpersonal level. The phenomenon is especially noticeable when

“I think it’s also about space,” comments Cody Bucher, a linguistics major at AUP. He notes the

It is not just volume related; the elevated speech and quiet, forceful tones of French contrast starkly with the American-English way of communicating, which is more basic, with a use of volume rather than tone to create emphasis. 10

“When we are in Europe, we are the other,” Cody remarks; American behavior is that much more scrutinized.

we’re in Europe, we are the other,” Bucher remarks; American behavior is that much more scrutinized. Comis doesn’t see this otherness as a bad thing, though. When asked if Americans should be adapting to the French way of communicating, he said, “I think there needs to be a balance, but first of all I would say continue to be themselves, because I think there’s nothing wrong with expressing yourself well; it’s not about being loud it’s just about talking properly and not just keeping to yourself.” It’s not about assimilation, it’s about being able to read a situation and cater your language a little bit to the specific situation.

tendency of French people to complain about

There’s no need to completely ditch our linguis-

American volume, while also becoming loud and

tic differences. The reason people leave home in

rambunctious themselves in spaces that allow it,

the first place is to be exposed to other cultures,

like at a bar or at a friend’s house.

to broaden their own horizons. Part of that task

This dichotomy shouldn’t go ignored; it speaks

is molding yourself to a foreign environment. But

to a greater attention to one’s surroundings that

part of it is also bringing in your own differences,

means different things for the two cultures.

your own perspectives. Being able to communicate

When asked to explain how English and French

appropriately with the tools that you understand

differ at the level of volume, Bucher offers a more

is an important aspect of moving to a new place.

scholarly interpretation. American English is

Americans and their big loud mouths are tangible

what can be described as an emphatic language,

proof of the hard work and effort that it takes to

he explains. He notes this particularly in the use

move somewhere new, put yourself out there, and

of volume to create emphasis, which means that

interact with people who are so different from you,

when Americans speak, their volume and tone

even at the most basic level—speech.

fluctuate frequently to create meaning in their sentences. This is in contrast with French, which instead uses separate words in speech to create this same emphasis. Words added to French phrases can range from pronouns to coordinating conjunctions, and they all have the same effect that American volume differentiation does: creating meaning outside of simple diction. In English, Bucher explains, stress is placed on certain syllables, and this might sound jarring to the French ear, since the same expressive techniques don’t exist with such force in French. These dichotomies are especially notable when Americans come to France, because they exist as the other in a culture full of people who are used to communicating in a certain manner. “When

It’s not about assimilation, it’s about being able to read a situation and cater your language a little bit to the specific situation. 11

BeReal. BeReal. or not to

A social media performance by another name

By Delaney Callaghan

Illustrations by Mia Baccei

eemingly overnight, the term BeReal has

share that reality with your real friends.” Every-

taken on its own life as a noun, verb, and

thing the app creates and stands for is in pursuit

adjective after the app of the same name

of honesty and truth in an arena where these ide-

shot to popularity in 2022. Somewhere between

als are often intentionally discarded. This is an

its flashing, anticipatory notifications and slight-

incredibly optimistic and ambitious goal for an

ly bizarre features—such as that of “facemojis”—

entirely new social media platform—that’s not to

BeReal, with its endearingly simple mission, has

say that it’s unwelcome. As social media platforms

quickly displayed itself as the latest social media

continue to flourish and concerns about how our

phenomenon which users must be a part of.

psychologies are affected rise, BeReal stands to be

The concept of BeReal is simple: once a day, at any given moment, users will have two minutes to

a theoretical breath of fresh air in the polluted social media market.

post a photo of whatever they’re doing at that time.

As BeReal continues to grow in popularity and

There are certain features put into place to ensure

establish itself as a platform, the efficacy of its

the realness of each post; the number of retakes

mission and the success of the app are called into

are displayed with each BeReal, late posts are pub-

question. Does BeReal actually achieve its goal of

licly denoted with time stamps, both the front and

promoting reality in the digital age? Or has it just

back camera perspective of the photo is taken, and

amplified the worst parts of an amalgamation of

so on.

social media?

If the name of the app wasn’t obvious enough, the

To BeReal…

genesis of BeReal makes it clear that reality is the

After speaking with students at the American

central concern of the platform. BeReal’s ultimate

University of Paris (AUP) who actively use BeReal,

mission—according to the creators of the app—is

there are clear common themes that draw users to

to be a social media platform that is based as much

the app: documenting their lives, keeping up with

in reality as possible through “services and tech-

friends at school and home, or just simply because

nologies which allow you to live your real life and

it’s fun. One common drawback that is often high-

lighted about the app is its arguably problemat-

BeReal’s defining characteristic. “BeReal itself is

ic categorization; is the antidote to social media

counterintuitive, and while it’s not the antithesis

producing more social media? Users like Gabby

to social media, it’s the closest thing we have,” said

Bashizi, a junior at AUP, would argue that viewing

Sharp. “There’s a more organic feeling on BeReal—

BeReal as the perfect solution puts too much need-

it feels more personal, more raw and you see more

less pressure on the platform.

of the ‘ugly’ part of people’s lives that you wouldn’t

“There is no way to resolve the issue of being

see on Instagram or Snapchat.”

fake on social media, because that is actually the

There is something to be said about this sense

whole point. And honestly, I think that’s okay,” said

of intimacy that the platform intentionally pro-

Bashizi. “Having a curated narrative of your life is

motes among users. Within the app, users are en-

part of what living life is all about. Part of creating

couraged to remember that “BeReal works best

that cohesive narrative is having a way to capture

with your closest friends!” and are probed with

it.” As Bashizi remarks, instead of being hung up

questions such as “Are you sure you know [user-

on how BeReal will eventually be corrupted and

name] well?” while accepting any follow requests

lose sight of its mission, we should focus on the

one might receive. While the effectiveness of these

immediate positive functions of the app.

brief reminders is up for debate, the sentiment

In terms of finding avenues for curating personal

still stands; any given BeReal account is designed

narratives, BeReal arguably provides the most un-

for a private, intentional audience, and should be

filtered platform to do so. In an article for VICE, Ka-

treated as such. Here, we see the loss of “mutuals”

tie Way articulates how BeReal looks to eliminate

or “suggested posts.” There is no algorithm feeding

this potential for curation and thus distinguishes

you personalized content, or even ads relating to

the app from its competitors, writing, “The enter-

products you were searching for three hours earli-

taining thing about BeReal is the same thing that’s

er flashing in the margin. It’s in this that we once

entertaining about any social media platform:

again see social media stripped down to its bones,

it’s awesome to be online with your friends. What

solely prioritizing what Way identifies as the sole

makes BeReal so special is that that’s basically all

purpose of all platforms: being online with friends.

you can use the app to do.” In many ways, BeReal

…or not to BeReal?

cuts out the noise that surrounds other platforms

However, to understand the full picture of Be-

and leads users directly to the point—sharing your

Real, it’s necessary to hear out the critics of the

real life with friends. With BeReal, there’s little to

platform. Aside from more surface-level concerns

no room for deliberate aesthetics, strategic posing,

that interviewed students voiced—the repetitive

incessant filters or even curation with one’s post.

nature of the platform, the literal dysfunction of

The limited content thus reduces the opportunity

the app itself, general loss of interest, among oth-

for inflictions such as doom-scrolling or self-com-

er things—there are a few larger concerns which

parison that often serve as side effects to usual so-

highlight the app’s more significant shortcom-

cial media consumption.

ings.

Though there is likely an inevitable element of

For one, BeReal has struggled to establish itself

curation that users may foster in their BeReal ad-

as a platform independent of typical social media

ventures, there is still an undeniable element of

behaviors. Since its increase in popularity, the app

truth that is inherently woven into the fabric of

has been unable to convince users to take it seri-

the app. Avery Sharp, a recent AUP graduate who

ously as an anti-social media platform and has in-

is no longer on BeReal, identifies this attribute as

stead been understood as another app in the cho-

rus of existing social media giants. Luke Jones, a

stop to be like, ‘Take the BeReal!’” said Mildenberg-

freshman at AUP, emphasizes this, saying, “BeReal

er. “It’s not about being authentic, it’s more about

succeeds as a place to document your life, but not

how I don’t need to share every part of myself with

really as a place ‘away’ from social media.”

everyone.”

Of course, there is also the argument that, in its

All things considered, the question at hand still

quest for authenticity, BeReal promotes some-

remains—is BeReal actually real? There seems to

thing that isn’t resemblant of reality at all. Recent

be a tentative consensus around the statement

updates have seen the addition of two extra BeRe-

that, despite its best efforts, BeReal fails to block

al opportunities for those who post on time, while

out the noise that other social media platforms

late users are left with only one chance to post for

generate. Whether this is a good or bad thing,

the day. This introduction of this incentive calls

however, remains to be seen. While we anxiously

into question the need for its existence—why

await the ultimate social media antidote, BeReal is

should users have to be enticed to post on time if

possibly the best distraction in the meantime. Or,

their intention in joining the app was to do so?

could it be that BeReal is the latest indication that

Leen Daqqaq, an active user of BeReal, voices her

it is time to face the music and accept that social

concerns on this exact point.

media has permanently changed how we under-

“BeReal gives you a fake sense of reward for ‘be-

stand authenticity?

ing real,’” said Daqqaq. “Like when it gives you the

Perhaps, it is ultimately best to take an approach

incentive of two extra BeReals; why are we getting

similar to Bashizi, and not allow social media to

excited over two extra BeReals? What am I getting

take any more from us than it already has. “If you

out of doing this?”

don’t want to use social media, don’t use it. It’s just

Sarah J. Synder’s recent work addresses con-

for fun. It’s really not that deep.”

cerns similar to Daqaaq’s and elaborates on this false mindset that BeReal creates. Synder says that the structure of BeReal fosters what she calls an “‘always-on’ mentality,” otherwise understood as the mindset that users should always be doing something cool, interesting and unique, entertaining not only themselves but those who follow them. Specifically, Synder writes, “According to the app’s design and the content it promotes, the authentic BeRealer is not only one who complies with BeReal’s rules, who is able to respond to the call to be real as soon as they are told, but is also infinitely interesting – ready to create exciting content at a moment’s notice.” Lilly Mildenberger, a junior at AUP, who is no longer a BeReal user, echoes Snyder’s sentiment, reflecting on how BeReal’s definition of authenticity fails to fit within her own personal boundaries. “I never wanted to do BeReal when I was actually doing something cool, because a lot of the times when I was doing something cool, I didn’t want to 14

“If you don’t want to use social media, don’t use it. It’s just for fun. It’s really not that deep.”

It’s time to

BeReal. 15

WHAT’S ON

YOUR DESKTOP? Text & Photography by Pablo Monfort Millan Illustration by Mia Baccei

Mode Cirtautaite

Maple Hughes 18

Mia Baccei

Dylan Westlake 19

Leonor Feigenblatt

Karina Peterneamt 20

Jurgen Hecker

Pablo Monfort Millan 21

WELCOME

THE

DIGITAL

REVOLUTION

OPERA

INFLUENCING

BEFORE

THE

Text and Visuals by Kaetanno Fernandes

ou’re on your third phone break in the last

style of the social elites; a replication that used to

hour, in the midst of writing a paper that’s

take place even before the digital revolution, in

due in two days, aimlessly scrolling down

nineteenth-century France. The Opera was a buzz-

the lengthy TikTok rabbit hole. You speed through

ing center of art and lifestyle as well as foundation-

about 14 get-ready-with-me videos with some out-

al to the growth of the fashion industry we know

fit-of-the-day and a-day-in-the-life videos sprin-

today. The industry built upon the know-how, or

kled in between. The laptop in front of you may be

savoir-faire, of garment creation and design is now

open with a half-written introduction paragraph,

interwoven with theatrical performance.

but instead, your mind is focused on making a list

One of the symbolic emblems of Paris is the

of things you didn’t know you needed. You aren’t

Opera Garnier. Lying in the center of the city, the

alone in falling victim to this rabbit hole of capital-

Opera Garnier was a well established location for

ism and perfection. 4.95 billion people may also be

luxurious performances, plays and fashion pre-

in the same boat, with their eyes focused directly

sentations since its inception. Members of the

on the perfectly curated lifestyles on their screens.

elite would line each level of the opera booths,

These social media users represent 61.4% of the

there to watch performances previously unseen.

global population who accept and participate in

But more importantly, attending an event at the

what we know today as “influencer” culture. Influ-

Opera was a chance to flaunt one’s success, wealth

encers amass hundreds of thousands—sometimes

and lifestyle. In the late-nineteenth and twentieth

millions—of followers on social media, each spon-

centuries, the wives of the elite and their elaborate

sored and paid by multimillionaire companies to

luxuries—jewels, beads, busts and ranging silhou-

promote and sell their products. The Kardashians,

ettes—all of which defined the success of their

Emma Chamberlain and Alix Earle are some in-

husbands’ wealth. Galas, events and performanc-

fluencers who have created trends globally, from

es buzzed with the gossip of who was the wealth-

wide-legged cargo jeans, to scrunchies and coffee

iest among the crowd. Each event more elaborate-

cups. Influencers are paid to create promoted con-

ly adorned than the other, women sought to find

tent that makes social media users more suscepti-

whatever was freshest in the books of costuming.

ble to dive deeper into these curated rabbit holes.

As the social life within the Opera flourished, fo-

Your short break can turn into a transportation

cus shifted from the stage to the audience. Who

to a perfect, luxurious world. This new dimension

was wearing what and more specifically who were

comes with an emulation of the mannerisms and

they wearing? This is where Paul Poiret comes 23

into play. Poiret was one of the first designers to establish the culture of haute couture, especially within the world of the elites. His handmade garments were crafted after the elaborate desires of socialite women seeking to look and simply be better than the rest. To get his work out into the social sphere, Poiret utilized mannequins (models) along with performers dressed in his pieces. Interest was sparked among the women in the crowds who began to want his designs. This tradition grew exponentially with new designers. The mannequins, performers and members of the elite held that same cultural influence that has trickled down to the influencers of today. Society members would flaunt the items adorned on their bodies on a public scale which would then bring attention to both their image and their fashion. Although these mannequins were not part of the super elite, they held a position of influence based on their representation in society, much like the influencers of the twenty-first century. Today, influencers can be compared to Poiret’s mannequins whose job was to influence society’s desires. The power in the past was merely held by the representation of design as part of a physical performance. Today’s performance is divorced from the walls of the Opera and powered by big industries and the digital image of luxurious representation. Up to 10,000 branded ads are exposed to individuals each day. These ads may consist of celebrity influencers dressed in Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana and other luxury fashion houses. These influencers are paid thousands of dollars for business partnerships. For the Kardashians, these projects can give them a paycheck of up to 2 million dollars for a simple Instagram post. Supermodels of the ‘80s and early 2000s have also taken part in the birth of the “influencer” phenomenon. Linda Evangelista once said, “I’m not getting out of bed if I’m not making more than $10,000” in Vogue’s October 1990 issue. Supermodels were brand ambassadors who gained an audience and fanbase during a period in which 24

the fashion industry was very niche and not easily accessible to the public. Once the digital revolution came around, everyone was given a platform to speak freely about fashion and engage with the industry as well as other social media users. Privacy became public; the once private life behind curtains was unveiled. During fashion week, hundreds of audience members flock to the exteriors of fashion shows hoping to lay their eyes on influencers who they’ve only seen as 3-inches-tall on their screens. Fashion week offers the opportunity of an up-close experience to a handful of digital creators put on a pedestal due to their hundreds of thousands of digital followers. In turn, fashion has stood up from the Opera seats, has left the stage, walked out the front door, off the runway of the early 2000s and onto the streets. The fourth wall of the Opera’s theatrical performances has been broken. Society has become the performers and fashion is what defines theatrical art. What once was a simple reflection of society in the form of dance and music has been replaced by fashion and its reflection on the streets, devices and runways around the world. Social media presents perfect lifestyles in a digital realm controlled by a specific set of people labeled “celebrity-influencers” who make up less than a quarter of all social media users. This small group of people establish the paradigm of daily vlogging, videos, Instagram posts or TikTok dances. These influencers are making an effort to persuade those focused on their content to make purchases, follow specific lifestyles and engage with other creators. These content standards create a community of social media users who consume said content, while at the same time they emulate it on their own profiles. Social media users who consume and create content are labeled “produsers”—a play on words between producing and consuming content. As produsers evolve, they also take part in “influ25

encing” by virtue of communicating gossip and

cide whether the opera’s fourth wall gets rebuilt. It

news to those who follow them. However, these

is up to the produsers of the world to decide if the

produsers do not have the same power of influence

fashion industry goes back to privacy, or if it will

reserved for more established content creators.

remain deconstructed. Close the curtains, the dig-

Influencing has become a career that many look

ital revolution has replaced the stage.

up to. Devices act as binoculars into the world of the elite. Regular everyday people share their everyday movements to their small range of followers on their social media platforms which mainly consist of friends, family, or the odd follower brought over by the media algorithm. When looking at the nature of an opera, the audience members are very similar to today’s produsers. In the past, the audience imitated peers and the mannequins sponsored by designers. Today, the consumption and production of content offers the same appeal. People on social media may not all have the same following, or opportunities as established influencers, but at the end of the day, they still take part in influencing each other. One cannot say they have not been influenced by a mutual on social media. This mutual might have 100 followers or 5,000. But in one way or another, new followers will be influenced by how they portray their life following content standards. This modern realm of the opera is uncharted. The world around us is the new opera: social media users are simultaneously audiences and performers, while celebrity influencers hold the power of establishing the standards of content creation. As humans, we reflect upon what the society around us constitutes. Society sits, observes, likes and follows, while the cycle of creating and consuming continues. The opera has been deconstructed brick by brick. While established influencers may create, uphold and define the standards of perfection, the true power lies within the hands of the public. Public engagement with social media content is what gives power to the produsers of the digital realm and allows them to become influencers. Influencers would not create any standards of perfection if they didn’t have public interaction or significant followings. It is up to the world to de26

Society sits, observes, likes and follows, while the cycle of creating and consuming continues.

One Size Fits All?

How ballet core undermines women in society By Paloma Kluger Illustrations by Mia Baccei Photography by Mode Cirtautaite

f you spend any time online, you’re proba-

what society sees as the ideal “ballet body.” This

bly familiar with the “ballet core” aesthetic:

outsider view on ballet is quite the misconception;

pointe shoe ribbons wrapping all the way up

shopping the newest ballet line or dance-clothing

women’s calves, the ever-so-perfect messy bun,

brand collaboration does not make you a profes-

and, of course, lots and lots of bows. Offensive in

sional dancer.

essence, such a parody of a serious art form is all

Victoria King is currently studying theater and

fun and games until it becomes a societal expec-

dance at Rollins College in Winter Park, Flori-

tation. Today, it is no longer enough to be thin, tall

da. She grew up training at the Ballet Quad Cities

or conventionally attractive. Dancers now have

School of Dance, a ballet company in Rock Island,

additional standards they must follow in order to

Illinois but left this program after high school in

remain aesthetically acceptable in a constantly

order to pursue a college degree. Now, she dances

changing world.

recreationally but was previously on the profes-

When an art form as challenging as ballet is

sional track at her company. King says, “It’s been

watered down to a trending aesthetic, it becomes

really nice to take a step away from the profession-

not only unrealistic but degrading to dancers who

al ballet world and not feel the pressure of having

have trained for so long and still cannot attain

to get into a company as it’s not the end all be all of

your career.” Pressures felt by dancers are wide and varied: maintaining a certain weight, following a restrictive diet and even toeing the line between being friendly or bitchy towards their competition. Certain companies will also implement their own standards and procedures which only augmentate such pressure placed on ballerinas. King explains, “Some ballet companies will weigh their dancers and be like ‘if you’re not at this weight then you’re not going to dance, so you have to lose weight,’ while other companies are like ‘if you don’t fit the costume, well, sorry you don’t get that part.’” These practices are not only toxic but extremely dangerous as they can cause women to restrict their diets in order to fit an ideal that is simply impossible to attain. In a 2014 interview with Self, American Ballet Theatre dancer, Misty Copeland, reflects on her own struggles after being told to lose weight by her company. She reveals, “I knew that since I was 5’2”

I had always been proud of my body—its strength and grace enabled me to pursue my passions. But now it had become the enemy.

and 108 pounds, most people would consider me

super thin. But in my own little world, I was devastated to learn I was ‘fat.’ I had always been proud of my body—its strength and grace enabled me to pursue my passions. But now it had become the enemy.” Unfortunately, women are disproportionately affected by the toxicity in the ballet world. King explains, “Because there’s fewer men in the ballet world, all of these women are forced to compete for roles. If a male dancer gets into a company, he’s pretty much guaranteed a part because he’s a male.” Nowadays, it is fashionable to have the aforementioned ballet core body which pressures not only dancers but all women. King explains, “Whenever I think of what society sees as the perfect body, I think of the ballet body as well as a model’s body. They have curves but are super skinny and are able to show off certain parts of their body that other people wouldn’t be as comfortable showing off.” This aesthetic misconception lends itself to one of the most notable aspects of ballet core: when non-dancers participate in ballet modeling. King says, “It’s really frustrating. I know a lot of other ballet dancers feel this way too. We train our whole lives to be good at our art form, and to see people who have never done it before feels degrading to all the hard work that we put in, and it’s also dangerous for them. It’s really tough to see it, and it almost comes across as mocking.” Such struggles exist far and wide outside the ballet realm and infest other art forms, sports and communities. King also addresses toxicity in the gymnastics world, saying, “People will 31

criticize gymnasts saying that they aren’t skin-

they want to have that perfect ballet body. Not ev-

ny because they have all this muscle, but if they

eryone is going to have that perfect ballet body; it’s

didn’t have those muscles they wouldn’t be able to

just not possible, so we need to lower our expec-

do gymnastics in the first place.” No matter what

tations about that.” King also admits, “No matter

you’re interested in, this paradoxically impossible

what we do, it always feels like there’s something

standard seems to be a universal experience for

that will be considered wrong. We’ll never live up

women. King says, “It’s just a thing for women in

to all the standards that everybody wants us to live

general. Everyone who looks at a woman expects

up to.”

her to be a model. And that is just not realistic. Ev-

Being in the ballet world is similar to being in

eryone has different body types and that’s okay. So

a toxic relationship. It’s pretty on the outside but

it’s just something we need to improve upon be-

ugly and dark on the inside. Does experience living

cause it is in so many different areas, not just bal-

in it prepare young women for the wrath of soci-

let.”

ety? King explains, “I think my experience in the

Has anything been put into motion to improve

ballet world has helped me build thick skin, espe-

this social issue? King believes there has been im-

cially as someone who hasn’t had the ideal body

provement but that it is far from being enough.

type for ballet. But it also still weighs on me all the

She explains, “There are still so many dancers out

time. And I wish we didn’t have to deal with that as

there who feel insecurities that make them feel the

women, but unfortunately that is our reality, and

need to not eat or to restrict their eating because

we deal with it every single day.”

We’ll never live up to all the standards that everybody wants us to live up to.

BROWN NOISE

Coping with microaggressions as an Indian living abroad By Sarah Affonso

“

Illustrations by Mia Baccei

Where are you from?” asks the cab driver as

by the familiar and comforting syllabic rhythms

he stares at me through his rear-view mirror.

of an Indian accent and never felt like the words

“I am Indian,” I say as I gaze out the window,

coming out of my mouth had an impact on people

watching the Parisian landscape go by. “No way!”

because of the accent with which the sentence was

he yells as he turns around to get a better look at

delivered. It was only once I entered the bubble of

me. “But you are beautiful, huh.”

the American University of Paris, and individuals

This is a familiar phrase, one that I often antic-

began to use words like “cute” or “funny” when I

ipate when I tell people I am from India. Their ut-

spoke, that I realized it was going to be a struggle to

ter shock and need to remind me that I am beau-

be taken seriously when all people were focusing

tiful despite the fact that I am Indian has always

on was how my words turned “up” at the end of a

made me uncomfortable. It was only once I left

sentence.

India, and had experiences such as these, that I

However, don’t let the word micro fool you; the effects of these aggressions can be just as impactful and long-lasting as your average, everyday racism.

learnt the term microaggressions, “the everyday, subtle, intentional—and oftentimes unintentional—interactions or behaviors that communicate some sort of bias toward historically marginalized groups.” The fact that individuals who commit microaggressions are often unaware of their words or actions is what separates it from overt discrimination. However, don’t let the word micro fool you; the effects of these aggressions can be just as impactful and long-lasting as your average, everyday racism. Microaggressions are not just skin deep; one of the most basic examples are comments based on one’s accent or English proficiency. I had the privilege of growing up in India, where my accent was not something that made me stand out, or feel exotic for lack of a better word. I was surrounded

The idea that an Indian accent carries comic

Microaggressions and the detrimental effects

relief is not novel. For decades, Western media

of stereotyping seep into one’s day-to-day life and

has used Indian characters in films and televi-

can even affect the chances of securing a job. At

sion shows for comic effect. Our culture, beliefs,

university, my peers gravitated toward babysitting

accent and appearance are commonly used for

and tutoring as an option to make some money. I

quick laughs, but at what cost? Growing up, I de-

followed suit and was consistently turned down

spised hearing the laugh track every time Rajesh

for jobs in Paris once the employer or agency

Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory opened

learned that I am from India. While no individual

his mouth, because it felt like the audience was

or company explicitly stated that my nationality

laughing at me. When Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

was the reason I was turned down, it wasn’t hard

was the only character of color on The Simpsons,

to infer. The fear of their child learning broken

with a surname that is practically impossible to

English or perhaps learning the language with an

pronounce, the writers of the show did their best

Indian accent was much greater than their need

to make a whole community of people know that

for childcare. Due to instances where one’s accent

they were the odd ones out. In her TED Talk, “The

is stereotyped, and English language proficiency

Danger of a Single Story,” Chimamanda Ngozi Adi-

can affect the possibility of being hired, one might

chie says, “the single story creates stereotypes,

resort to code-switching. Code-switching is the

and the problem with stereotypes is not that they

way in which a member of an underrepresented

are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They

group consciously or unconsciously adjusts their

make one story become the only story.” The “sin-

language, syntax, grammatical structure, behavior

gle story” is conveyed due to cultural unfamiliarity

and appearance to fit into the dominant culture. In

which leads to misinterpretations and oversim-

my case, I noticed it most among Indian students

plification of cultural nuances. This finally leads

studying at American universities. It takes them

to stereotypical portrayals of an otherwise diverse

around six to twelve months to develop a thick

group of 1.4 billion people.

American accent, because students with an accent that is not American or British are often misunderstood when speaking to friends and professors. Having to constantly repeat themselves eventually gets embarrassing for everyone involved in the conversation. Sooner or later, we all figure out that it’s easier to sound like everyone else, instead of ourselves. In my case, while my accent has remained the same, my vocabulary and pace have drastically changed. Code-switching has made me feel like a chameleon, as my language and behavior alters itself to fit the group I am with. It is no surprise that as a result, we are left questioning their social and cultural identity. We may even struggle with a sense of belonging or may feel torn between different cultural or linguistic identities. So, if the code-switching is overwhelming, and you are tired of the microaggressions, what can

Code-switching has made me feel like a chameleon, as my language and behavior alters itself to fit the group I am with. you do? There are plenty of ways to approach the problem, but begin by remembering that the offending party may not always be intentional with their words. At the same time, do not dismiss their ignorance. Remember to be assertive and convey your feelings about how their actions or words could be hurtful. My main goal when dealing with microaggressors is to educate; providing information and context for why their actions were inappropriate is almost always the solution to the problem. Once people are made aware of the impact of their comments, they immediately retract. Try and stay as level-headed as possible, but don’t be afraid to make your point. To some, an Indian accent is a funny bit, but to me, it’s my identity.

Digital Literature in the Lands Between A Restrospective Look at “Elden Ring’s” Narrative Design By Connor Ballard “The fallen leaves tell a story. Of how a tarnished became Elden Lord.”

Illustrations by Mia Baccei ’90s, or the introduction of playing games on a split screen with your friends in 1997’s Golden Eye and on “Halo” for the original Xbox in 2001, the console

he history of video games is long and

that reinforced the idea of video games being tak-

riddled with ambivalence. It’s a mas-

en seriously, even by a tech giant like Microsoft.

sive industry today, with a total revenue

“If I want to play a game now, it usually has to do

of around $347 billion in 2022, and a little more

with nostalgia,” says Julian Dixey, a student at the

than 3.2 billion people playing worldwide—a “Far

American University of Paris studying compara-

Cry” from its measly beginnings as a science ex-

tive literature. But the form and function of games

periment by physicist William Higinbotham who

has seen exponential change over the years, and

had designed an interactive demonstration called

their novelty, synonymous with the infancy of the

“Tennis For Two” in an attempt to liven up an an-

digital age, is secondary to the experiences they

nual open tour of the National Brookhaven Labo-

supply today.

ratory in 1958.

Lauded are our opposable thumbs, now indoctri-

Despite what you might think about video

nated in the muscle memory of tapping screens or

games, there is something exciting about walk-

spacebars, reflected in the credentials of modern

ing into a retro game store and seeing a kind of

adults, archived in binary systems, and in com-

pulp-fiction translated through novel uses of pix-

munication and movement, largely influenced by

els and polygons at a time when computers and

the internet. Expression has changed, and with it,

digital devices started becoming household items.

the mediums through which we reflect. Awarded

Video games have always been rooted in the excite-

2022’s game of the year with a large portion of its

ment surrounding digital innovations; it’s how we

worldbuilding written by “Game of Thrones” writer

remember them.

George R.R. Martin, FromSoftware’s “Elden Ring”

It’s difficult to forget the kiosks in McDonalds

communicates a narrative at once dependent and

fitted with Nintendo 64s and Gamecubes in the

independent of a player, and thus viewer’s involve-

Part of the art of narrative storytelling in “Elden Ring,” and most FromSoft games for that matter, is directing the player through its environments. ment. The experience, determined in large part by

Part of the art of narrative storytelling in “Elden

the framing of environments, is an embodiment of

Ring,” and most FromSoft games for that matter,

a form of digital literature and an interrogation of

is directing the player through its environments.

the ever-evolving ways we tell stories.

In the game, the player finally makes it to the

Greetings. Traveller from beyond the fog. I Am Me-

Leyndell Royal Capital. It’s a sprawling city, gold-

lina… I offer you an accord. Have you heard of the

en-roofed and isolated by mammoth walls. A drag-

finger maidens? They serve the Two Fingers, offer-

on’s corpse vainly scales a quarter of the make-up,

ing guidance, and aid, to the Tarnished. But you, I am

a blue-gray fog is set over the stillness, and a cen-

afraid, are maidenless. I can play the role of maiden.

tral tower in the distance designates an entrance

Turning rune fragments into strength. To aid you in

to the erdtree—the monolithic embodied essence

your search for the Elden Ring. You need only take

of the world, overarchingly visible from nearly ev-

me with you. To the foot of the Erdtree.

ery area in the game. Leyn-

That’s how your journey starts in the Lands

dell expands the world,

Between—an introduction for how most of “El-

but also pays off the

den Ring’s” open world will play out: You are a

sparse mentions of the

“tarnished,” a meager flame in the greater world,

location in the game’s

proposed to follow a path you know nothing of.

opening

hours—the

At this point, you’ve gotten to your third check-

scattered

iconography

point. You know for some reason they are called

related in the golden at-

“Sites of Grace,” and that this woman, Melina, has

tire of erdtree knights,

just appeared for the second time after

or on the shields of

hearing her voice in the opening

undead nobles stum-

credits, but that’s about it for

bling about the fields

context. A rhythm does eventually set in however, and as it does, there is a simultaneous understanding of means, action and consequence being

defined

through your active engagement with the world. 37

of Limegrave. It’s an admittance of the intercon-

and when. Fatedly, those characters not only pro-

nectedness of the world, communicated through

vide context to the narrative unfolding alongside

movement alone—a dropping of bread crumbs to a

you, but have influence on how it ends.

tragic tale of a dynasty fallen.

Though games generally employ the player as

That direction continues in the player’s explora-

both a narrator and protagonist of an experience

tion of Leyndell. Leyndell is a legacy dungeon (es-

because of their interactivity, the approach isn’t

sentially classic soulsborne dungeons which take

dissimilar to classic and contemporary literary

a more linear approach), and though a player might

framing. In continuing our conversation about the

explore most every measly crack and crevice here,

parallels between the two mediums, Dixey says,

they’re directed through tightly choreographed

“Something I think that Tolkien does really well is

paths. For in the player’s repeated doubling-back

use the environment to tell the story.” Giants like

through the same spaces, the same corridors and

Tolkien or William Golding, figures who in many

stairways, in their attempt at finding the way for-

ways define literature, are also pushing their sto-

ward in a labyrinth of overlapping routes and false

ries through their environments, with the protag-

doors, there is a gained understanding of the re-

onist moving things forward and at the same time

lationship of layers. It’s a reflection of the game’s

taking a back seat. But the difference in question

narrative design: fragmented and stitched togeth-

between the interactivity in games and the inter-

er through forlorn characters, architecture and

activity in reading a novel is difficult to define

landscapes.

when both forms require a certain level of partic-

Take “Elden Ring’s” characters for instance. Upon a decrepit land positioned few and far be-

ipation––at some point it boils down to the specifics of input.

tween, most orators of medieval tongue, there’s

It’s then perhaps the philosophy of “Elden

little distinction between the production’s prima-

Ring’s” world and characters that its narratives

ry and supporting roles. Sure, there are mentions

continue independently of a player’s involvement,

from characters about whose role lies with which

thereby challenging a viewer’s

bigger boss—the definitive beats of a playthrough—

role in the storytelling.

but it’s mostly up to the player to determine his in-

2015’s

“The

volvement

Witcher 3”, another

with who

widely

acclaimed

role playing game (RPG), the story is presented in the introduc-

tion, or at least the start of it. You’re introduced as

structure still feels broadly the same,” Williams

Geralt of Rivia, a professional monster hunter in

says. While there is something conventional about

search of a sorcerer who may have a lead on your

the idea that “Elden Ring’s” narrative is still a pre-

adopted-daughter-of-sorts gone missing. A series

sented narrative, just slightly more ambiguous, the

of flashbacks relays the summary, and you begin

idea doesn’t quite reconcile with the reality of the

the game already aware of your objective, history

game’s protagonist being both the tool that splits

and identity. When a player creates a character in

open the story, and yet unidentifiable. And in such

“Elden Ring,” they exist in the world as “tarnished,”

a way, it’s almost as if players are experiencing an

a title given to all who seek the Elden Ring—

also undefinable narrative, tied to a history and

real-life players and non-player characters (NPCs).

varied in shape by your involvement—a kind of

It’s at once a personification of the game’s main

permanent prophecy, that has both everything

objective—to progress through forking paths and

and nothing to do with you.

powerful enemies to mend the Elden Ring and

So what happens with an absent protagonist?

become Elden Lord—and a trivialization of your

Or maybe more critically, what happens with a

identity in the game. You are one of many, and if

faceless protagonist determining a malleable

not you, some other “tarnished.”

story? With video games being both a digital and

Russell Williams, a professor at AUP whose work

literary avant-garde, it’d be an oversimplification

lies in the examination of the contemporary nov-

to explain what that means going forward. None-

el and literature’s complex relationships, suggests

theless, it’s an interesting question that challeng-

“Elden Ring” remains still quite conservative.

es our ideas of not just digesting narratives, but

“Some of the lines have been ripped out, but the

telling them, and just perhaps better resembles

When a player creates a character in “Elden Ring,” they exist in the world as “tarnished,” a title given to all who seek the Elden Ring— real-life players and non-player characters (NPCs).

the narratives of our own incredibly indeterminable lives. From “Call of Duty’s” annual releases to Microsoft’s “Flight Simulator” to “The Legend of Zelda,” the form and function of video games today is perhaps broader than most artistic mediums. Though standards exist in the industry, “Elden Ring’s” popularity—an abnormal phenomenon for a genre still unironically labeled niche—is a reassuring testament to the progressivism of digital expression. The game’s upcoming expansion, “Shadow of the Erdtree,” was confirmed at last year’s Game Awards and is expected to release sometime in spring 2024. With implications of a focus on Miquella, a main character of “Elden Ring’s” story largely absent despite having ties to nearly every major event, we’ll have to wait to see how the adaptation of such a uniquely confined experience will play out.

Mon Amour Meets MONSTROUS A comedic chronicle of Parisian dating misadventures

By Anca Raicea

Illustrations by Reya Divekar

he mere mention of Paris is often associ-

was a homeless person sitting near the ATM, and

ated with images of picnic dates along the

he said, “Want to see something funny?” He pre-

Seine, romantic snapshots with a back-

tended to give the money to the person, and when

drop of the Eiffel tower and strolls along the Pont

they got excited, he pulled it away before they

des Arts. Paris has long been the ideal destination

could grab it. He was laughing and I was think-

for honeymoon retreats and amorous getaways.

ing, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” When we

Everyone knows Paris is unofficially known as

went to Pachamama, he had a very specific idea

“the city of love,” but the reality is far less pictur-

of how he wanted us to walk: “We’re walking side

esque. Many students have come to Paris in hopes

by side. You’re not walking behind me, and I’m not

of meeting their Romeo or Juliet but have instead

walking behind you.” He started shoving people,

been met with a lackluster first date. Paris does

elbowing people as hard as he could—anyone who

not always align with the commonly perceived

was in his way. There were girls in heels tripping

notion of a city exclusively dedicated to amo-

and falling over, and I was apologizing for him. The

rous endeavors. AUP students share a glimpse of

entire night, he kept talking about how he was so

what an authentic Parisian first date looks like.

scared that guys were going to steal me from him. I

Ebba*: My date was 40 minutes late. When he fi-

wanted normal drinks, but he didn’t care and kept

nally showed up, the first thing he told me was

giving me shots. There were 15 shots across the ta-

that he hates cheese, which was really random. We

ble and at this point I was drunk. We started kiss-

were going to have dinner, and he ordered a chevre

ing and then he started talking about how ugly all

salad—where the main ingredient is cheese—after

the girls were. “Oh my god, her dress looks so bad.

he went on a long rant about how much he hates

She looks so bad. She’s so ugly. Which girls do you

cheese. Afterwards, he had a very specific idea of

think are ugly? What about the guys? Which guys

where he wanted to go to finish off the date; we

do you think are attractive?” he kept asking. I told

walked around for an hour and he had an issue

him I wasn’t going to talk about any of that because

with every bar we saw. We decided to go to Pacham-

what the fuck? Later, I was holding his hand and

ama and went to the ATM to withdraw cash. There

his knuckles were super rough and bumpy. He said

that they were just scars because he had a bad hab-

Coke. Grindr guy was talking to his friend in front

it of getting into fights, especially when he drank.

of us in French and said, “Yeah I brought these two

And then he had to go to the bathroom and asked

guys over, and I’m going to go home with them

me like four times, “Are you sure you’re going to be

both and they don’t know.” So then I got upset and

okay if I go to the bathroom? What if guys come and

thought “What the fuck is this about? I would’ve

talk to you?” Eventually I assuaged him about go-

been down for a threesome, but at least tell me first

ing to the bathroom, then low and behold two guys

in advance.” Then it became a big thing and the

started talking to me. They weren’t flirting or any-

Spanish guy started yelling at him in Spanish. All

thing, but my date came back and started scream-

the other people at the party started yelling and it

ing at them in French as they got up to leave.

got messy. I ended up getting an Uber back, and the

A couple days after the date, he texted me asking

original guy I had matched with on Grindr ended

me if I was free. I was just trying to be nice and told

up going home with the Spanish man. Two days

him that I had a good time but I just wasn’t in the

later I ended up matching with the Spanish guy on

place to be dating.

Tinder; so then we had sex. A few days later we all

He said, “That’s so weird. I’ve had hard-to-get, but

had a threesome. And then I blocked them both.

hopelessly-impossible-to-get—that’s a first. You’ve

Rebecca Loell: I found this person on Hinge.

become ten times more interesting since you’ve

They seemed chill and they asked me to go on a

kicked me out. Anyway, I’m not going to chase you

little pizza date. We ended up at this hole-in-the-

because I don’t do that. Goodbye hottie.”

wall pizza place. He was talking only about himself

Then he sent me a picture of a girl he found on

and nothing else. He would just say “And you?” as I

Tinder with the same name as me and captioned

asked him questions. It wasn’t awful.

it, “I’ve found a hot Swedish Ebba girl of substitu-

We were chatting while eating. I no-

tion. I’m now fulfilled.”

ticed he had painted fingernails,

Caleb Stangl: I would say the most horrific first

so I told him I loved the little flow-

date I ever had was with a guy who I met through

ers that he had painted on his

Grindr. He and I talked for a few days, then he

nails. He said “Yeah, I real-

asked to meet up and get drinks. He texted me say-

ly love color, I just feel

ing he was late and that he had met another guy

like it’s so fun. I

on Tinder. He had told this other man that my ad-

noticed you don’t

dress was actually his. I thought that was weird.

though.”

The guy I hadn’t known about came over and he

Then he saw my

didn’t speak any English or French, just Spanish.

pack of cigarettes

I thought, “Fuck, I have to entertain this guy.” The

in my purse and

Spanish man thought he was meeting the guy I

he asked

had matched with on Grindr and didn’t know anything about me. It was super awkward. The Grindr guy ended up being delayed, so it was 30 minutes of just crickets and us Google translating back and forth. The guy picked us up, and took us to a party that was 35 minutes outside of Paris in the middle of the suburbs. None of his friends spoke Spanish or English either, only French. So that was kind of painful. The only alcohol they had was Rum and

Okay?

me if I smoked, and then he said, “Oh I don’t do

ence up because I was never going to see him again.

that. My body’s a temple type deal.” Then, he kept

Luckily, he ended up paying by card. He walked me

going on about how he was a gym bro. I wanted to

to the metro and that was it. Then the kicker: a

get dessert afterwards and he didn’t, and the way

week later, I saw him posting his girlfriend on his

he declined made me feel bad for wanting dessert.

Instagram.

I wanted the date to end and told him midway that

Cross Lawrence: I was 16, which was relatively

I had to go help my friend set up a party. It was 1:30

late, and I found a girl who liked me for the first

P.M. and it wasn’t until 7 P.M. that I had to be at the

time in my life. Funnily enough, her mom was an

party. When we got up to pay, he let me pay first.

OB/GYN and had been my mom’s OB/GYN when

For a split second, he was like, “Oh, I don’t have any

she was pregnant with me, which means this wom-

cash.” And I thought, “Fuck, is he going to make me

an saw me in ultrasounds, and 16 years later, I was

pay?” I knew I was never going to make that differ-

dating her daughter. I had gone over to her house for a party, and when things calmed down and people left, her and I went down to the basement. We started laying on the couch, and I was hyperventilating at this point. We started holding hands, but I was so nervous that my hands were sweating like hell. And so, I asked her, incredibly meekly, “Have you ever kissed anyone before?” and she said, “No.” For the next thirty seconds, we went around in circles until she shook her head in frustration and kind of slumped down. When she looked up, I was right in her face and I waited a second so she’d know what I was doing, and then I went in, suddenly. This kiss was a rollercoaster but the second I pulled away, I asked, “How did you like that?” I guess she didn’t like it too much or I had made her uncomfortable, because she didn’t answer. She was just smiling and she turned on the TV. We watched Zootopia until my dad swung by to pick me up since I couldn’t drive at the time.

*Ebba’s last name has been omitted to preserve anonymity for privacy concerns

ARTIFICIAL MINDS, REAL FEARS Art’s uncertain future in an AI world By Maple Hughes

Designs by Pablo Monfort Millan

rtificial intelligence is no longer the fu-

between prominent thinker Yuval Noah Harari

ture; it’s here, and there’s nothing we can

and Mustafa Suleyman, an entrepreneur and AI

do about it. In fact, it has already been

researcher. “Their main point was that the most

here for decades.

important thing we can do as humanity is to regu-

Although the history of artificial intelligence is

late and control how much AI can do. Policy mak-

relatively short, experts generally regard Alan Tur-

ers should be involved with this, and if they’re not,

ing’s computational innovations over 70 years ago

it’s going to be catastrophic. If they are, I’m opti-

as its birth. In 1950, Turing raised the possibility of

mistic of the ways in which it can be used,” Monfort

an intelligent machine that could communicate

says. He advocates for more regulation, explaining

with humans. As the decades progressed, so did AI,

that we need to “focus on making this as safe and

leading us into the present era of AI-generated in-

as regulated as possible, with independent bodies

fluencers and essays written by ChatGPT.

that can advise governments, policy makers and

Today, we understand AI as machine attempts at

companies on how to build these models and how

simulating human intelligence. AI can distinguish

to use them.” But Monfort still harbors fears con-

images from one another, engage in conversation

cerning how artificial intelligence will impact the

with humans and write poetry. To many, this pros-

future of our society. “I think I do have many fears

pect is daunting. Since antiquity—and especially

regarding how this technology will alter how we

since the Enlightenment—cultural emphasis has

think about basic elements of our existence. How-

rested on the distinguishing nature of humans as

ever, as in any other technological revolutions and

rational beings. Our ability to contemplate, criti-

shift in paradigm, there will be ups and downs. But

cize and create is what we have employed to set us

I’m hopeful that humanity will be able to control

apart from other animals and to justify the anthro-

its after-effects overall.”

pocentric world. Now, we live in a time in which a

Modė Cirtautaitė, a junior at AUP, concurs with

computer can think and act like a human. Arti-

these concerns about AI and its potential dan-

ficial intelligence invades the framework which

gers. “At first I was definitely scared of it, because

we have consistently used to define ourselves as a

the more people use it, the more we train it to be-

species, and now, we are rightly afraid.

come more human,” she remarks. “But I became

When asked about his fears for the future of ar-

less scared of AI because I realized that it could be

tificial intelligence, Pablo Monfort, a junior at the

a very powerful tool. What we should be scared of

American University of Paris, referenced a debate

is the people who use it for bad intentions.” Cir-

But I became less scared of AI because I realized that it could be a very powerful tool. What we should be scared of is the people who use it for bad intentions

quently use programs like ChatGPT and DALL-E, an AI model that is capable of creating images. At this point, it seems that there is no turning back. Now, it seems that all we can do is learn how to use it to our advantage. So how are students actually using AI? How can we make AI work for us? Presumably the most common use of artificial intelligence among students is conducting research and studying. “I have asked AI—especially ChatGPT—for ways to approach my research. How to start it, recommendations for books, articles, even documentaries sometimes,” says Monfort. Kajus Orzekauskas, a senior at AUP, remarks that while he does not use AI very often, he has used it to study for exams. Although he admits, “it was not helpful in analyzing the articles,” it was still able to provide useful information. On the other hand, Cirtautaite disagrees with her fellow students. “In terms of summarizing my notes and putting them into paragraphs, I didn’t find it useful. And I don’t use it in terms of getting

tautaitė also theorizes that generating intelligent

answers to essay questions,” she counters. “But

machines may lead to the downfall of human in-

since I got diagnosed with food intolerances, I’ve

telligence. “Humans are very lazy by nature, so

used it to form meal plans and it was quite useful.”

it scares me that humans will treat it as a way to

Perhaps meal plans are not the first thing that

achieve their goals without putting in any effort.

come to mind when thinking of AI, but a simple

I’m scared that people will not use their brains

entry in ChatGPT can provide you with ideas on

anymore,” she explains.

what to make for dinner next week, a new workout

Since programs like ChatGPT have risen to

regimen, or even flirting. “Probably the strangest

prominence in the last year, the cultural percep-

way I’ve used AI is when I had asked for someone’s

tion of artificial intelligence has shifted toward

Instagram. I wanted to tell them a pickup line but

a more positive view. At the very least, it appears

I wanted to be original. So I told AI the context

to be a much less frightening prospect. Monfort

in which I met this person and asked for ways to

confirms this development of the general stance

initiate a conversation with someone. It was a bit

on AI, saying, “I feel like we as a society had only

weird, but it actually helped,” says an anonymous

envisioned AI as this abstract idea that no one

student.

really knew was going to impact our lives. Defi-

Since Monfort, Cirtuataite and Orzekauskas all

nitely, ChatGPT altered everyone’s perceptions of

study in creative fields, they have used AI for their

what an AI can bring into our daily existence: how

art. “I’ve used ChatGPT for my art classes, for my

easy it is to use, how accessible it is, how broad its

creativity,” Monfort says. “Not as a way of coming

knowledge can be sometimes.”

up with whole new ideas, but as a way of finding in-

Despite their fears of what artificial intelligence

spiration, in the same way that I would ask anoth-

may have in store for the future, students fre-

er person for ideas,” he clarifies. Cirtautaitė says 45

that while she tries to use AI to help her with ideas for films, she finds difficulties in formulating an operation for the program to carry out. “AI usually needs a clear description of what you need in order to get what you want, and the fact that I’m not really sure of what I wanted to do or create myself and cannot put it into words is why I fail to formulate a question,” she explains. Orzekauskas agrees that AI can be helpful for artists. “Yes, it’s a danger and kind of an intimidation for the art world, but I think of it as a tool. And it’s a great tool because through it, you can elevate your art to unbelievable levels.” On his fears for the future of AI, Orzekauskas states, “It’s going to be destructive. But it’s going to get so powerful that you could eventually ask AI to bring you an idea of a painting or a drawing, and it’s going to formulate it better than you could.” While artificial intelligence can be a helpful tool for some artists in their creative processes, the ethical dilemma of AI-generated art is an entirely different issue. Can a complex sequence of codes generate art, such an integral part of humanity that has been revered since the beginning of time? Not at this point, explains Professor Jonathan Shimony, chair of the Department of Art History and Fine Arts at AUP, saying, “Until the day computers become sentient beings, computer-generated art is nothing more than image making. It doesn’t come close to an artistic act because creating art demands sensitivity, passion, emotion and obsession.” The dawn of AI-generated images is not the first time the art world has experienced this sort of shift in paradigm. The advent of photographic image reproduction posed a similar threat to artists as AI does now, prompting thinker Walter Benjamin to write The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction in 1935. Professor Shimony references Benjamin’s theory of the ‘aura’ of an original work of art, pointing out that the feeling of gazing upon an original painting in the location that it was made for does not evoke the same reaction as viewing the same work through a computer screen. “The aura has value that we humans 48

Until the day computers become sentient beings, computergenerated art is nothing more than image making. It doesn’t come close to an artistic act because creating art demands sensitivity, passion, emotion and obsession. ascribe to it,” Shimony explains. However, just because something is created by human hands does not bestow it with the aura that constitutes a great work of art. Professor Shimony further elaborates, “Art has different levels, and few paintings are important works of art. They are minor works of art because somebody took the time to paint them. But I would argue that there are relatively few truly innovative and insightful works.” When it comes to great works of art—the kind that change worldviews, touch souls or start revolutions—it seems that AI is nowhere near capable of replicating them. Making images that look like art and creating art are different endeavors. Commercial art, on the other hand, is a different story. “If you look at the economic discussion,” Shimony begins, “will AI put commercial artists out of work? Of course it will. Printing put scribes out of

work, photography put illustrators out of work. Of

was invented, pessimists thought it was going to

course, there will be another turn of employment.

kill painting because it could depict the world in a

But what kind of artists are we talking about?

mechanical way. The opposite occurred. Painting

We’re talking about the artists making images

was freed of depiction, and painters were allowed

that are meant to advertise commodities. If you

to express anything beyond depiction. Photogra-

use machines, if you get images that are as good or

phy pushed artists out of their comfort zone and

better than what the commercial artists are mak-

allowed them to discover many new ways of ex-

ing, then those images are cheaper and faster to

pressing themselves,” he states. “I think AI will do

produce. Machines won’t go on strike, they won’t

that too. It will push artists to make more intimate,

ask for higher wages. But is that great art? Is that

or more human work. It’s not to be feared; it’s to be

fulfilling? What do we really demand from art? Is

treasured in a way. What can be generated with AI

the commercial stuff going to be considered on the

will hopefully inspire people to then go beyond

same plane as Michelangelo’s sculptures? I don’t

what is mechanically generated.”

think so.”

It is time to accept that artificial intelligence

Perhaps the perceived threat of AI art is not

is not disappearing anytime soon. We may har-

nearly as bad as we expected. Professor Shimony

bor fears—of an attack on humanity, or the loom-

again relates this to the recent technological de-

ing threat of AI putting countless professions

velopment in the art world. “When photography

entirely out of work—but these prospects are

What can be generated with AI will hopefully inspire people to then go beyond what is mechanically generated.

becoming less fictional every day. As Monfort proposes, regulation may help soothe humanity’s wounds once consequences begin to manifest more prominently. But AI is not the first technological novelty that humanity has had to reckon with. As history demonstrates, a lot will change. The jobs of commercial artists risk extinction, but art in its essence certainly does not. We can only hope that AI will push the boundaries of art, making room for groundbreaking movements infused with a little more humanity.

*All art used in this work was generated using Adobe Photoshop’s generative fill AI function. 49

COOKING A CONNECTION AUP students share their flavors from home By Madeleine Kruger Illustrations by Lilly Mildenberger

here’s a quiet intimacy in the ordinary, a deep joy in finding a sense of belonging in the new places we call home. We are shaped by the people who have loved us, the memories of our childhood and the traditions

we carry on from our pasts. Simple, nostalgic acts serve as a little link between the person that we’ve grown up to be and that child-like essence that brings us right back to the living room rug on a cold, winter day with a cup of hot cocoa: the smell of cinnamon and melting butter, the sound of toast jumping out of a toaster, the aggregate conversation, shared glances and laughter and the sound of metal spoons hitting porcelain plates and mugs. There’s a reason that the fruit growing from the trees where you grew up tastes so much sweeter. These shared collections of memories and recipes of our childhood are the essence of who we are. Our stories can be told through aromas and familiar tastes, a nostalgic conduit that brings us right back to our roots. We all have a different definition of home and how we remember it, and cooking is one of many ways to bridge the gap between cultures and generations that are shared by gathering around the table. Cooking invites a sense of community and knits together new bonds that tether us to our past while we find that same sense of home through new environments and new people. The kitchen is our anchor, that humble presence that seats us right back into the dining room, the aroma of your mother’s home cooked meal spilling out of the kitchen as you kick your feet under the table. So how do familiar tastes and smells tell our story? What tethers them to our souls? It’s the art of connection: forming deep bonds between our past and our present, the eternal youth matched with age. It is that sentimental yearning for the mundanity of a simple home-cooked meal, understanding the character of a person by how much sugar they put in their tea or how much butter they dress on their potatoes. It is that first bite that melts on your tongue, that warmth of familiarity that glows your cheeks. The beauty of all of these overlooked moments and the memories that remain connect us no matter how far we are from our families, and in the gaps between the gathering of ingredients, preparation and the anticipation of the first bite, we are, at least momentarily, no longer strangers in a new place; we are right back home.

Kjøttkaker Norweigan meatballs, a grandmother’s recipe

INGREDIENTS For the meatballs : 1 lb. of ground beef (with pinch of salt) 1 egg 1 large onion, grated 1 tsp. of black pepper 5 tbsp. of flour A pinch of some fresh herbs

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Mix beef with egg, flour, grated onion, black pepper, and fresh herbs in a bowl. 2. In a pan, simmer butter until browned. 3. Add meatballs to the pan, cook until

For the sauce : ¼ of a stick of butter (for greasing and flavor) Use the meat sauce from the meatballs as a base 2 tbsp. of flour

browned. 4. Put meatballs aside, leave meat sauce in pan. 5. Add half an onion, grated, to the pan, as well as some more flour (2 tbsp.) to thicken it. 6. Once simmering, add meatballs and stir on low heat. OPTIONAL. : Serve over boiled potatoes!

“After a long day outside in the cold mountains of snowy Norway, there is nothing better than coming home to the smell of kjøttkaker which my grandmother makes. After a long day of cross country, my brother and I usually come in hungry enough to eat a horse; but when a pot full of our favorite dinner is waiting, we could not be happier. It is a meal that puts a smile on our whole family’s faces.” —Marius Ekeberg 52

Lemon Ricotta Cookies A New York City sweet treat with a slight tang! INGREDIENTS For the cookies : 1 container of whole milk ricotta cheese 2 cups of granulated sugar 3 tbsp. of lemon juice (fresh or bottled) Zest of 2 lemons 2 1/2 cups of flour 1 tsp. of baking powder 1 tsp. of salt 1 stick of unsalted butter, softened 2 eggs

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Preheat the oven to 375° F.

For the glaze : 1 1/2 cups of powdered sugar, sifted 3 tbsp. of lemon juice (fresh or bottled) zest of 1 lemon

“As a child, holiday baking in New York City meant making lemon ricotta cookies amidst the bustling city. The scent of lemon zest and ricotta filled our kitchen as we packed the cookies into boxes for gifts with the city’s holiday lights as a backdrop. Now, in Paris, those memories are a cherished link to the past. They evoke a deep nostalgia for the vibrancy of the city during the holidays, the laughter shared while baking, and the joy of those festive moments. Baking these cookies now brings a bittersweet longing for the city life and the warmth of family in New York, each bite a sweet reminder of those bustling, cherished holiday traditions.” —Alexandra Paquette

2. In a bowl, combine the sugar and lemon zest. Mix with your fingertips until the sugar is fragrant, and then set the lemon sugar aside.

3. In another bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. 4. Add butter to the lemon sugar. Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. 5. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, mixing until they are fully incorporated. 6. Add the ricotta cheese and lemon juice and mix well. 7. Stir in the dry ingredients. 8. Roll the dough into small balls and place onto baking sheet. 9. Bake cookies in the oven for 15 minutes, and then let cool for 20 minutes. For the glaze: In a bowl, combine the powdered sugar, lemon juice, and lemon zest and whisk until smooth. Dip the top of each cookie into the glaze, place on a plate and let the glaze harden before serving 53

Saoto Soup Surimanese-Indonesian chicken soup

INGREDIENTS For the broth : Half a gallon (2L) of water 2 chicken stock cubes Half of an onion (peeled and chopped) 1 large garlic clove (peeled and chopped) 4 allspice berries 1 bay leaf 2 cm fresh galangal (coarsely chopped) 2 cm fresh ginger (coarsely chopped) 1 lemongrass stalk A few sprigs of fresh parsley 1 tsp soy sauce For the contents : 2 chicken breasts 4 eggs 100 grams of rice Handful of bean sprouts

INSTRUCTIONS

Handful of fried onions

1. Add the garlic, onion, ginger, galangal, allspice

Handful of fried noodles

berries, lemongrass and bay leaf to half a gallon of

Handful of matchstick potato chips

water. 2. Add the chicken stock cubes and the soy sauce to the soup, bring to a boil. Set aside a little of the parsley for garnish and add the rest, including stems. 3. Put a lid on the pot and turn the heat to low once the stock comes to a boil. Let simmer for half an hour to release all the flavors. 4. Cook your rice aside from the soup in hot water or in a rice cooker. 5. Fill a second saucepan with water and bring to a boil. Add the chicken breasts and cook them in the boiling water until done, removing any excess fat and tissue. For the final touches, hard boil the eggs and run them under cold water before peeling. Shred the cooked chicken breasts with a fork. Strain the stock, discard any herbs, and add your garnishes (fried onions, beansprouts etc.) to a soup bowl of broth, rice, and chicken breasts.

“My mom never learned how to make saoto soup so it became kind of a special thing for when I went to my grandma’s house. The soup has a very familiar taste of broth, chicken, boiled eggs, and rice, along with vegetables and herbs. It’s kind of a mix between Indonesian and Surinamese cuisine, which in a way, connects me to my mom’s Surinamese roots.” —Genaro Ng 54

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 350 °F, and set aside a cake mold (22 cm in diameter, round) with a removable edge 2. Grease the mold and sprinkle it with breadcrumbs or coconut flakes. 3. Melt the butter over low heat, remove the pan from the heat when the butter has melted. 4. Add the white chocolate in pieces and stir until

Kladdkaka

Swedisb saffron cake with lingonberry cream

all the chocolate has melted and until it is complete-

INGREDIENTS

ly mixed with the butter and smooth.

For the cake :

5. Take out a mortar and pour in the saffron and add 1 teaspoon of granulated sugar so that the saffron is distributed in the sugar. If you don’t have a mortar,

150 grams of butter 0.5 grams of saffron + 1 tsp caster sugar 200 grams of white chocolate

use your hands!

150 grams of granulated sugar

6. Add the ground saffron, granulated sugar, salt

1/4 tsp salt

and the eggs to the melted butter mixed with the

3 eggs

chocolate until smooth.

150 grams of wheat flour

7. Add wheat flour and beat until smooth. 8. Pour into the mold and bake at 175°C in the lower

For the crust :

part of the oven for about 20-30 minutes.

About 2 tbsps of butter

9. Dust with powdered sugar before serving.

3 tbsps of breadcrumbs

Note : the cake should be sticky in the middle! If your tin is larger than 22 cm in diameter, the baking time will be shorter and if it is smaller, the baking time will be longer.

or 3 tbsps of coconut flakes For serving :

For the lingonberry cream :

About 1 tsp of powdered sugar

Whip the cream until slightly firm, and then add

300 grams of whipping cream

the lingonberries or lingonberry jam. Note : Do not whip the cream too hard, the lingonberries make the cream firmer. The amount of cream and lingonberries can be totally estimated, mix and taste according to your liking!

100 grams of lingonberry jam or raw lingonberries or 100 grams of lingonberries and 1 tbsp caster sugar

“I come from a big family of extremely talented chefs, so I took on the role of baking. I usually bake this kladdkaka for special occasions such as Christmas or Easter. It’s always a crowd pleaser, it makes the whole house smell amazing, and it’s pretty easy to make.” —Johanna Sletten Larsson 55

Pão de Queijo

Brazilian cheese bread INGREDIENTS 4 cups of tapioca starch 2 cups of milk 2 eggs 1 cup of any oil 1 tbsp of salt for taste 4 cups of shredded cheese

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 360˚F. 2. In a big bowl, add the tapioca starch. 3. In a pan, heat and mix the milk, oil, and the salt on medium-high heat until boiled. 4. Once boiled pour the milk, oil and salt into the bowl with the tapioca starch. 5. Let cool. 6. Add eggs one by one, alternating with the cheese. 7. Grease your hands with oil and form the balls, 2 cm in diameter. 8. Place them on a greased baking sheet and put into preheated oven. 9. Bake until golden brown. 56

“My Grandma and I would make Pão de Queijo from scratch nearly every week as a child. I remember asking her every day to help her make them. We would gather all the ingredients and make a complete mess with the tapioca starch and the cheese. But my favorite part was watching the little white dumplings of cheese bread turn golden brown in the oven. Pão de Queijo is a staple in my home and in Minas Gerais, Brazil. Café da manhã, or café da tarde, is incomplete without these absolutely scrumptious crispy cheese breads.” —Kaetanno Fernandes

Chicken & Sweet Potato Curry African-inspired dish with global flavor influences INGREDIENTS

INSTRUCTIONS

1 sweet potato

1. Chop the carrots into disks and the sweet potato

1 head of broccoli

into 1 inch cubes.

2 carrots

2. Cut the broccoli into similar sized chunks.

1 white onion

3. Steam the carrots, broccoli, and sweet potato until

2 cloves of garlic

soft.

Chicken thighs

4. Dice the onion and garlic.

1 can canned tomatoes

5. In a pot, fry the onion and garlic in olive oil until

2 cups of warm water

translucent.

1 tbsp peanut butter

6. Add powdered spices.

Olive oil

7. Add chicken thighs (or any other meat) and fry

SEASONINGS 1 golden curry block 1 tbsp garam masala 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp ginger 1 tsp garlic Salt and pepper to taste Note: The key to the recipe is measuring with your heart: be generous with the spices and taste as you go! The purpose is for it to be homey and warm on a cold winter day.

until golden brown. 8. Pour in tomato sauce. 9. Stir to combine. 10. Add in the steamed vegetables. 11. Dissolve the curry block and a spoonful of peanut butter in the water. 12. Add to the pot. 13. Cover and simmer for 40 minutes or until the chicken is cooked. 14. Serve over fluffy white rice.

“It’s a kind of African-inspired dish. My mom learned how to cook Central-African style food from my grandmother when she married my dad. This meal isn’t strictly from anywhere, though—it’s from us! It has ingredients from all over my family’s history—the tomato and peanut flavor is very Central-African; the curry block hails from her time in Japan; the vegetables are non-traditional but very wholesome. We ate it at least once a week growing up, so it’s very warm and homey to me.” —Gabby Bashizi

BYTE-SIZED

LEARNING TikTok’s growing power to educate

By Grace Amjad

Illustrations by Mia Baccei

ikTok, the wildly popular social media

health and medical information, language learn-

app, which launched in 2017, currently

ing resources and hobby and cooking videos. The

boasts over one billion downloads in 150

app has become a sort of learning hub for users—at

countries, with 75 language options and more than

least some of them. But the question that remains

800 million monthly users. What sets it apart

is whether the app and its promotion of learning

from most other social media apps is its “For You

is helping or hurting the user population. Is digital

page” which plays a much larger part on the app as

learning a good thing or a bad thing for us?

compared to similar functions on other social me-

As we all saw during the Covid pandemic, online

dia platforms. The TikTok algorithm is constantly

learning is possible. It was here long before the

adding more videos to the “For You page,” so users

lockdown and is even more common now. It brings

never run out of videos to watch. What has come

education into the lives of people who may not be

out of this is doom scrolling: endlessly scrolling

able to engage in traditional learning in schools

through feeds of videos, feeling unable to stop.

or universities, as well as allowing us to learn

In May 2020, TikTok launched the hashtag

about more niche topics. Online learning is great

#LearnOnTikTok in an effort to promote learning

in theory, but the reality is that the simple action

on the app in light of the COVID-19 lockdowns. The

of doing things on screens, rather than on paper,

app employed professionals from different fields

makes learning less effective. This is a concept

to create videos, and the hashtag has since gained

called “screen inferiority.” In a paper published

778 billion views and hosts videos on sciences,

in 2019, authors Jason M. Lodge and William J.

Online learning is great in theory, but the reality is that the simple action of doing thing on screens, rather than on paper, makes learning less effective. 58

Harrison explain the idea that digital environ-

remember when thinking about learning online is

ments are naturally more likely to cause distrac-

that most websites and apps are designed to cap-

tion over a non-digital counterpart. For example,

ture attention and keep users on their sites for as

reading on your phone is, according to this con-

long as possible in order to make as much money

cept, less effective than reading a physical book.

as possible.

The distractions caused by notifications and the

So what is TikTok’s niche in education? Micro-

option of switching to a different app makes it

learning. This is any type of information split

harder for our brains to focus on and absorb all

into smaller, bite-sized portions, where the learn-

the material they are given. But aside from the

ing takes place over an hour or even down to just

potential distraction while learning online, it is

a minute. It has gained huge popularity on Tik-

still quite an effective way to learn—including dig-

Tok and other social media platforms recently as

ital learning and technology in the classroom has

a way to quickly and easily share and learn new

been proven to aid in education.

information. ESL (English as a second language)

Friedreike Windel, a professor of psychology

and language teachers specifically have found

currently teaching “The Psychology of Social Me-

great success in posting short videos introducing

dia” at the American University of Paris (AUP), be-

a small topic or a few related vocabulary words to

lieves that school and learning should be fun, say-

students. This has been received very well by lan-

ing, “So if TikTok is a fun thing to do right now, why

guage learners as it is less intimidating and, quite

not connect it to these other purposes? There are

frankly, more interesting. A study done in Spain

also differences in who you’re teaching and what

recently tested microlearning in higher education

you’re teaching. It’s always like, ‘how do you leave

and yielded fantastic results. It aimed to measure

a message that says there’s more’? But sometimes

nursing students’ interest in microlearning in

things are also clear. I think it’s this message of

class and the overall suc-

‘how do we still get people interested in learning

cess of the

and how do we maintain an interest in learning beyond just trying to get a good grade?’” Rachel Webber, the learning accommodation coordinator at AUP, agrees, saying, “It’s hard to talk about because it’s really new and so there’s not a whole lot of research that’s been conducted to have hard facts. I think a lot of it is speculation at this point, but I think there is a lot to be said that these students love using TikTok. I think there is something there that says ‘okay, something is going on with how we’re consuming information, what’s working, what isn’t working.’” But even still, technology is not the best learning tool we can use. Researchers at Concordia University in Montreal found that technology does enhance learning, but that there are more effective options out there and that technology is negatively impacting attention in some way. What we must 59

videos; what they found was that students loved it.

all students—but with certain students we meet

Many said they planned on using TikTok for their

and you can even just tell ... It’s like I’ve lost the stu-

studies in the future and had increased interest in

dent and all the important information I have for

the topics covered, even though they would not be

them is lost too.” Professor Windel knows that at-

tested on the material.

tention spans are shortening, but understanding-

We can see the success of micro-learning on Tik-

ly remarks, “They are still starting to look at what

Tok in the thousands of users creating educational

TikTok is like, how it impacts students’ learning.

videos across every possible topic, reaching mil-

It is a broader development that we have shorter

lions of viewers. Allison Chen, @alchenny, shared

attention spans. I think there’s something specif-

her experience in French pastry school and has

ic about TikTok because so many people are using

reached more than 16 million likes on her videos.

it and figuring out if it shapes us in the long term.

Roxy Stylez, @roxystylezz26, is a TikTok creator

How do we still find places to slow down and focus

who recently made the news for her video explain-

in? Using TikTok in itself is not detrimental but

ing how to buy a car from car dealerships in the U.S.

getting this sucked in is.”

14.1 million people have watched her video, which was published on September 8, 2023, and there have been multiple articles published about it. Erin McGoff, @erinmcgoff, has dedicated her page to telling people about the things they were never taught when it comes to interviewing and working in general. She offers resume advice, negotiation pointers and tips on setting boundaries at work. AUP’s Webber has seen a different side of learning on TikTok: “One of the positives is that people have more readily available access to a lot of different subjects. Our office has seen a huge uptick in accommodations and diagnoses, probably due to students having a lot of access to this information and seeing a video, identifying with it and kind of connecting the dots. It’s really great to be more informed on a lot of different things that if you didn’t know about them, you live your life and assume that everybody has the same type of experience and that’s not necessarily the case. ADHD and autism seem to be the two more popular diagnoses that have a lot of information out there.” But do the positives outweigh the drawbacks? On TikTok in particular, users are faced with the

How do we still find places to slow down and focus in? Using TikTok in itself if not detrimental but getting this sucked in is.

unreliability of information and the impact it has

Emelia Duncan, who goes by @Emiliaruth on

on our attention spans, especially when think-

TikTok, is a middle school teacher in central In-

ing about micro and traditional learning. Webber

diana who has been using TikTok for about 3

has noticed the ways that attention spans have

years. When she started using the app, she never

changed, saying, “I see it now with students—not

planned on posting anything, but since she be-

gan teaching this past January, she has found a new corner of TikTok centered around teachers and teaching. “I like to focus on making teachers laugh and helping people realize that even though this can be a difficult job at times, we all are going through similar things and that it’s okay to just laugh about it sometimes!” she says. Duncan often learns new things on TikTok—specifically finding new teaching resources—and she believes that it can be a teaching aid with the understanding that not everything people post is true and that making in-depth lessons is hard to do on the platform. She specifically mentions that it is hard to cater to everyone’s different learning styles, saying, “In a classroom, you could make one lesson for three classes, but end up teaching it three different ways because you have so many different students who all learn differently!” Because Duncan’s students are still quite young, she doesn’t get the sense that they use TikTok as a way to learn, as they typically use it as more of a way to pass time where they learn new dances and songs. The app is still quite young, so it is hard to know how much more it will change and what those changes will mean for everyone. “I think that TikTok is moving towards being a great learning tool! A lot of content creators are moving toward not only posting aesthetic or comedic content but also informational. Unfortunately, since TikTok started as an app more for fun dances and trends, I think it will always partly be that, meaning some students won’t ever take it as a serious learning tool,” says Duncan. So maybe TikTok isn’t the newest big learning tool, and maybe it never will be, but despite the fact that the trending searches today are “Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift reunite in Argentina,” “Billie Eilish comes out as queer in an interview,” and “Harry Potter Pixar movie” (which is not even real), there is still so much we can learn from TikTok that it would truly be a shame to totally overlook the app and its potential merits. 61

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER ADHD DIDN’T EXIST Understanding mental health stigma and modern realities By Lilly Mildenberger

Illustrations by Mia Baccei

uring my adolescent years, I often won-

the realm of mental health, eventually honing in

dered about my father’s inability to stand

on my father. When I broached the topic, suggest-

in line—whether it was at an amusement

ing that he might have ADHD, she responded with

park, the airport or even the grocery store. He

a classic line: “Back in my day, things like ADHD

couldn’t endure a queue for more than a minute

didn’t exist.”

without wandering off to explore other distrac-

Indeed, this disorder didn’t appear in the

tions. The panic would set in at the grocery store

“Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Dis-

checkout while I watched the line slowly approach

orders” (DSM) until 1968. Additionally, the National

me, no father in sight and no money in hand. I viv-

Survey of Children’s Health reports a 42% increase

idly recall his obsessions with certain products,

in ADHD diagnoses in children from 2003-2011. So,

resulting in bulk purchases, and his seemingly un-

could it be true that ADHD is a modern disorder

predictable energy levels, oscillating between ex-

that didn’t exist during our grandparents’ era?

treme enthusiasm one day and profound exhaus-

According to the aforementioned DSM-V (fifth

tion the next as if he were powered by a motor. It all

edition), ADHD is classified as a neurodevelop-

fell into place when I began a clinical psychology

mental disorder, which is a type of disorder that

course at the American University of Paris. During

typically becomes apparent early in a person’s

one of the lectures focusing on attention-deficit

development and influences various aspects of

hyperactivity disorder and its symptoms, I had a

neurological functioning. It is defined as “a per-

eureka moment. “Oh my gosh,” I thought. “My fa-

sistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactiv-

ther may have had ADHD all this time.”

ity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning

Now, you shouldn’t try to diagnose your fami-

or development.” Its symptoms encompass, but

ly based on one psychology lecture, but I thought

are not limited to, difficulty organizing tasks and

about it upon my return home for the holidays.

activities, becoming easily distracted by extrane-

A conversation with my grandma about it during

ous stimuli, starting tasks but quickly losing focus

our annual Thanksgiving feast meandered into

and getting easily sidetracked. There may be room

for differing viewpoints and debates about wheth-

ADHD is that the individual is simply lazy or lacks

er ADHD is considered a “disorder” as a product of

self-discipline. There are still people who are skep-

Western society or specific influences such as cap-

tical of ADHD and believe that it is a way of avoid-

italism and the modern education system. Nev-

ing accountability for ‘undesirable behavior.’ It

ertheless, suppose we accept these descriptions

can be hard on the individual and their families

at face value, it becomes apparent that ADHD is

who feel judged. It can also cause conflicts within

acknowledged as a disorder—at least in the Unit-

families. Parents worry a lot and this can mani-

ed States—which profoundly impacts how people

fest as criticism, frustration or increased pressure

think and go about organizing their lives.

around performance.”

Numerous misconceptions surround ADHD,

As Berndston explained, the stigma and myths

such as the belief that it’s a contemporary scam

surrounding ADHD—although untrue in many

driven by pharmaceutical companies, that it

scenarios—do have an impact on individuals with

stems from inadequate parenting, that children

the disorder, as well as their loved ones.

with ADHD naturally outgrow the condition or

Manon Deloulay, a psychology student from

that individuals with ADHD are unintelligent or

France, received a diagnosis earlier this year. De-

lazy. To find out if these myths hold any truth, I

loulay shared her encounter with prevailing no-

interviewed AUP Professor, Brooke Berndston,

tions of ADHD within her family, expressing, “my

who has her Master of Science in Mental Health

dad told me, ‘but you’re never hyper.’ And he began

in Children & Young People. Berndston noted, “I

citing typical, stereotypical features of ADHD, not

think one of the biggest stigmas that comes with

recognizing that ADHD manifests differently in

I think one of the biggest stigmas that comes with ADHD is that the individual is simply lazy or lacks self-discipline.

each individual.” Just as Deloulay noted, there are still challenges in understanding how ADHD impacts those who face stigma, such as a lack of belief in their condition or the negative connotations surrounding the disorder. Amelia Dustman, a psychology student at AUP, has been diagnosed with ADHD since childhood. When discussing the stigma she faced growing up, Dustman shared her experiences, openly noting, “when I was younger, not a lot of people knew about ADHD or talked about it, so when I would go and leave lunch to start a test earlier, people would be so confused. As a young child, I was like, ‘I don’t want to leave.’ There weren’t very many people at my school who also had ADHD, so when we did standardized testing, it was me and maybe two other people.” Deloulay described a similar feeling of exclusion while detailing her early academic experiences. She mentioned how ADHD is often seen as a “terrible thing.” She continues, “You’re like that kid who’s the clown. You don’t know what to do, you’re always behind in class. All of these problems, and 63

it’s just like, ‘No, you just have an attention prob-

that does, helps me understand myself day-to-day.

lem that can be helped with medication and thera-

Even with some friends, I can recognize who has

py if needed.’ It’s part of me. I don’t want to change

it, even if they haven’t been diagnosed, and it helps

that. That’s how my brain functions. And we’re all

me interact with them. A lot of conversations I

different. I don’t see how it’s a problem.”

have with other people who have ADHD are kind

Growing up with ADHD, diagnosed or not, may

of all over the place. My roommate from freshman

lead to feelings of ostracization. Professor Berndt-

year had ADHD and hadn’t been diagnosed. When

son elaborates on this point, explaining, “the most

we would have a conversation on one topic, she

common thing that I see in individuals with ADHD

would space out and not understand what we were

or ADHDers (as some like to be called), especially

talking about.”

those who are diagnosed later in life, is low self-es-

Understanding these experiences is crucial, be-

teem. Academic experiences, particularly, are of-

cause when we reflect on the statement “ADHD

ten perceived as traumas. There is a lot of confu-

didn’t exist,” it becomes evident that there are

sion; wondering why things that are difficult for

likely many adults, like Deloulay, who remain un-

them seem to be easy for their peers. They know

diagnosed. For them, grappling with an unidenti-

they’re getting in trouble for being inattentive or

fied condition can lead to a sense of confusion and

disruptive, but they also feel helpless to control

frustration as they try to comprehend what might

it, and they internalize a lot of negative messages

be wrong with them. Berndtson highlights the re-

about their character, value and potential.”

actions of individuals, both children and adults,

Unfortunately, this trauma can be further

explaining two distinct responses to the challeng-

heightened when people are unaware of their con-

es of stigma and societal perceptions, stating, “one,

dition. Those who are not diagnosed with ADHD

the individual internalizes the negative message

lack an explanation for why they are struggling,

and disengages. They may cope through disasso-

and they might assume that they are inherently

ciation, like spending all their time playing video

deficient in some way. This sentiment was echoed

games or scrolling social media. They may feel like

by Deloulay, who says, “As a kid, I was always be-

there is no point in making an effort because they

hind in class, always not able to understand, and

always fail anyway, people get mad, and they feel

that’s looked upon as you being stupid and not un-

bad about themselves, so they just mentally check

derstanding the class. But it has nothing to do with

out. This group may also develop co-occurring de-

that. I can understand the material, but I’m just

pression.”

slower than the other kids and there’s no problem

She continues, “Or two, the individual seeks

with that. And as a kid I always struggled with that,

out an array of compensation strategies

and now that I know I have ADHD, it’s sort of the

to meet expectations and avoid negative

key to my questions all along. Like why was I like

evaluations from others. They invest a

that as a kid? And I remember telling my parents

lot of energy and effort into finding

all the time, ‘Why am I always behind? Why does it

ways to beat the stigma. This could be

take more time for me to know information?’ But

setting multiple alarms or reminders

now, it’s more understood.”

on their phone to ensure that they don’t

Dustman shared a similar experience, explain-

forget something or leave late. They might

ing how her diagnosis can be—in some ways—em-

also expend a lot of energy self-monitoring,

powering. Despite having known about her diag-

for instance, focusing on not interrupt-

noses early in life, she says, “I think just in general,

ing a conversation or forcing them-

knowing that I have it and understanding what

selves to remain still during

a lecture. The constant self-awareness and concern that they are not going to perform to expectation can also generate co-occurring anxiety.” While my grandma’s words may have echoed the sentiments of her generation, ADHD did exist when she was younger, and it was stigmatized. Nowadays, there remains the challenge of facing those who dismiss its existence as a modern phenomenon. Professor Berndtson is familiar with these challenges and recognizes why some people—such as my grandma—might have this mindset. “The increased exposure to ADHD, particularly through social media, hasn’t all been positive. There is discourse about overdiagnosis and how everyone these days has ADHD. Our society places a lot of value on productivity, so if you’re not maintaining those levels of desired productivity, you may start to feel like there has to be some kind of pathology behind it. The emphasis on productivity has also contributed to stigma because people start to associate ADHD with the stimulant medication that is often used to treat it. Stimulants are nootropics, or cognitive-enhancing drugs. Instead of seeing this as leveling the playing field for people who struggle with essential life activities, like concentration, people see it as an advantage—often an unfair advantage.” But ADHD isn’t just about quirky behaviors and stimulants; it’s a nuanced condition that has un-

As we explore the layers of stigma, misconceptions and the evolving societal landscape, it’s clear that living with ADHD is uniquely shaped by individual experiences.

dergone a profound transformation. As we explore the layers of stigma, misconceptions and the evolving societal landscape, it’s clear that living with ADHD is uniquely shaped by individual experiences. The impact of ADHD stigma is far-reaching and affects individuals on multiple levels, from internalizing negative messages to disengaging. Deconstructing one’s misconceptions about ADHD to foster understanding may certainly be worth a conversation at the Thanksgiving table.

The Parisian Influence 66

Creating content amidst the city’s hustle By Karina Peterneamt

Illustrations by Mia Baccei

n the bustling streets of Paris, where historic charm meets the pulse of modern life, a unique breed of creators has found a home. They’re not painters or poets in the traditional sense, but they’re just as much artists,

crafting stories and visuals in the digital realm. These modern creators are digital nomads, people who’ve decided to balance work, lifestyle and inspiration right here in the midst of a busy urban environment. Paris is a city that never stops. It’s a place where every corner holds a piece of history and every café seems straight out of a movie scene. But it’s also a place where constant activity and sensory overload can become a challenge when you’re trying to produce content and stay connected online as a job. We’re going to dive into the lives of digital nomads—those who’ve chosen Paris as their base—by sharing their unique experiences and obstacles.

DIANA KIRORI Can you tell me a bit about your journey to be-

coming a content creator and what inspired you to choose Paris as your base? I started content in 2015 by writing blogs on my

what works for me. For example, I love lists. They really keep me on track. Have you faced any challenges in finding productive spaces around the city?

own website but never on Instagram or TikTok. I

I think the biggest challenge is the “no laptops”

did that for four years as I wanted a creative out-

rule. You may find lots of good, quiet places, but

let. I didn’t start Instagram until November 2020.

they don’t allow laptops. The only noise that I

Then I got TikTok in March of 2021, but at first it

would prefer if I’m trying to get work done is noise

was just silly posting and that’s where it all start-

that I intentionally put on through my head-

ed. Fast-forward to January 2023, I quit my 9-to-5

phones. I can’t have too much going on around me

job in Chicago and started doing social media full

because I get distracted.

time. And then Paris—I decided on it because London was too expensive. It was the luck of the draw, the next big city.

Compared to Chicago, do you find Paris more or less overwhelming? It’s not as overwhelming as I thought. What ‘s

As a content creator, how has living in Paris in-

interesting is that when I left the city to go to Am-

fluenced your work and your approach to story-

sterdam and Antwerp, I realized how comfortable

telling and content production?

I actually am in Paris. I don’t know the city like

It’s a little different; people are really interest-

the back of my hand, but I have a better grip now,

ed in Paris as a city and they’re always asking for

having lived here for a month and a half. I didn’t

spots to go to. I have a lot more recommendations

explore as much in Chicago because I got very

than I used to; that’s been really nice—to walk

comfortable being in known little hubs of differ-

around and take photos, post them on Instagram

ent neighborhoods. Paris and Chicago are similar

and on stories. People want to see that content.

in the sense of being a big city, which I love. I like

Paris is known for its sensory experiences. How

when there’s things going on around me; it makes

do you manage to work and concentrate amidst

me feel safer. I love lively cities, especially now at

the bustling atmosphere and constant activity of

26, because there’s an opportunity to always be

the city? Have you faced any challenges in finding

doing something. And I can always slow down if I

productive spaces?

need to.

Mainly by scheduling myself. I have found that

Can you share your perspective on the ways so-

it’s easier for me to get off track in Paris than it was

cial media platforms, especially TikTok and Ins-

in Chicago because it’s such a new city to me—ev-

tagram, contribute to the perception of the per-

erything is so exciting. But as long as I know that I

fect Parisian experience?

need to be disciplined, I can manage. It’s really just

It’s very glamourized and I myself romanticize

about getting back into my routine, and knowing

it. I love romanticizing my life and all the little

@ladydianamay

things; it’s not always realistic, but it makes things

take days off and I’m not posting, I’m not creating

so nice and light when there’s so much going on.

opportunities to make money—that’s a difficult

I also understand how people get frustrated with

balance to keep.

those who glamourize cities on social media, be-

Based on your experiences, what advice would

cause it’s not a universal representation. It’s al-

you give to individuals aspiring to become digital

ways important to take everything you see online

nomads, especially in a city like Paris?

with a grain of salt: do your research, know what

Just post; people spend far too much time think-

you’re getting into. Someone else’s experience is

ing about their initial ideas but you just have to

not going to be yours.

start posting and do it consistently. Posting is the

Have you ever felt the need to showcase only the

only way to get over the fear and to get your con-

highlights of your life in Paris? How do you han-

tent out there. You’re only going to figure out your

dle the pressure to maintain an aspirational im-

shtick by creating content and posting more fre-

age?

quently. I didn’t think I’d really be a travel person,

Honestly, no. I’m more open on TikTok than I am

but here I am, traveling and making content. Be

on Instagram because it is easier to express your-

as authentic as possible; people can always tell if

self through a video format. I also try to be careful

you’re coming off as authentic or not. It’s such an

about what I share; I don’t want to be complaining

easy tell. If you’re comfortable doing what you do,

because I know the life that I’m living is so unique.

it will all come together.

In a city known for its Instagrammable spots,

Are there any strategies or habits that you’ve

how do you strike a balance between showcasing

found particularly effective in achieving a har-

Paris’s beauty and capturing genuine, personal

monious balance between work, exploration and

moments?

well-being?

I did a lot of the touristy things in my first few

My work and exploration go hand in hand. Being

weeks; I wanted to see everything. Now that I’ve

in a new city, I tend to post after I leave the places

been living in Paris for a couple months, I go to

that I visit; I film all my content in a couple min-

lesser-known, local spots. It’s the natural lifestyle

utes to share later and then I enjoy the moment. I

of living here; you see all the big things and you

make sure to put myself first; then comes the con-

share them, and then you start to get more granu-

tent. I am lucky that my content is lifestyle-based

lar and share the smaller, less touristy places.

because it means I can simply do my day-to-day

The digital nomad lifestyle and constant con-

thing.

nectivity can sometimes affect mental health. How do you manage stress and maintain your well-being while living and working in Paris? Know your limits. Recently I was getting inside my head quite a lot. I started journaling, which I normally hate because it’s so emotional; you’re staring at a blank paper and you have to talk about everything. But surprisingly, journaling has really helped. It helps to be on top of things, so I don’t start to spiral and stress out about everything. Knowing when you need to get a break from social media and then taking time off is important. For me, social media is my job and income, so when I 71

GIULIANA JIMENEZ Can you tell me a bit about your journey to be-

coming a content creator, and what inspired you to choose Paris as your base?

tagram, contribute to the perception of the perfect Parisian experience? People are always talking about how perfect this

I used to live in Colombia, where I studied law for

city is and I agree—in some ways. Coming to Par-

two and a half years. I eventually decided to drop

is from the country that I’m from is a blessing: the

out to study fashion. When I told my dad that I

healthcare, the education system—everything is

wanted to move to Paris, I also said I wanted to be

better. Still, it’s not all amazing. I think that the

an influencer. I said I’d start posting content after

food at restaurants here—in terms of price and

I moved. My father said, “Why wait? Just start now.

quality—is shitty compared to food in Colombia.

It’s better to go to Paris with one follower than

When I go out in Paris, I end up spending a lot of

none at all.” So, I started posting fashion content

money without feeling like I’ve eaten a meal that

in my city; when I arrived in Paris, I had 60,000 fol-

blew my mind, or had the best service. I think peo-

lowers.

ple posting content here romanticize and filter

Can you describe how your experience as an influencer has impacted your career in fashion?

the city. Have you ever felt the need to showcase only the

It hasn’t always been favorable for me; when I

highlights of your life in Paris? How do you han-

want to work with brands—as an employee, not

dle the pressure to maintain an aspirational im-

a content creator—there are some who don’t like

age?

that I’m an influencer. What I have now is two CVs;

I’m a very transparent person, especially with

one which mentions being an influencer and one

my social media. People in Barranquilla see me

which doesn’t. Depending on the vibe of the com-

living here and they think, “Wow. You’re living in

pany, I pick which one to send.

Paris, you’re studying fashion at one of the best

Paris is known for its sensory experiences. How

schools. Your life must be perfect.” I always try to

do you manage to work and concentrate amidst

show my reality as organically as possible, but peo-

the bustling atmosphere and constant activity of

ple from back home think my problems aren’t real

the city? Have you faced any challenges in finding

in comparison. I always try to eat at home and save

productive spaces?

money because being an international student is

I’ve never seen creating content as a burden, but

hard. But I also want to go out because in Paris, if

simply as a part of my daily life. Even though Paris

you don’t go out and network, you’re losing your

is hectic and noisy, I’ve managed to perfect my rou-

time in the city.

tine to the point where I’m always creating. If I’m sick one day, I’ll have pre-scheduled content. Can you share your perspective on the ways social media platforms, especially TikTok and Ins72

How do you balance your student life and creating content? Is one more important to you than the other? My student life is more important than my con-

@giulianajimenezl

tent creation. Although I love being an influencer,

it.” When I’m stressed now, I go to a park, sit down,

I would never do it as my main source of income. I

look at my surroundings and remind myself I’m in

feel as though I would lose my essence. When in-

Paris. It’s not that bad.

fluencing is your sole career, you’re going to say yes

Based on your experiences, what advice would

to every brand that contacts you because you need

you give to individuals aspiring to become digital

to pay the rent. My main goal here in Paris is to

nomads, especially in a city like Paris?

work and develop my career; influencing is a side

Think about where you’d be in a year if you start

hustle. As for balancing everything, I have my rou-

now. It’s a cliché, but it can change your life. Peo-

tine. I wake up two hours before I’m supposed to so

ple don’t do it because they’re scared. They think

I can get ready and record content. Then I edit ev-

“I don’t have anything to say. There are too many

erything, so I have it ready for when I post at 5PM.

influencers and nobody’s going to listen to me.”

In a city known for its Instagrammable spots,

Stop worrying about everyone else’s opinion; you

how do you strike a balance between showcasing

wouldn’t reject a job at JP Morgan because of what

Paris’s beauty and capturing genuine, personal

other people think. Creating a routine and not be-

moments?

ing afraid are the keys to succeed. Also consisten-

I got “canceled” on my TikTok because I told peo-

cy; some people start fast, then find themselves

ple not to go to Café de Flore, which is a tourist trap.

saturated, so they stop posting content. If you

I try to show people the real Paris, but it’s difficult

post once a day, you’re not going to get anywhere;

because the criticism is harsh. People think that

you need to post five times a day. That’s what I did

because I’m not a real Parisian, I shouldn’t have an

when I started.

opinion on the city. If it’s your first time here, you

Are there any strategies or habits that you’ve

should go to the Eiffel Tower, but I wouldn’t rec-

found particularly effective in achieving a har-

ommend going up. Or if you want the experience

monious balance between work, exploration, and

of Café de Flore, go take a picture but don’t stay for

well-being?

a drink. There are many places you can avoid and still experience the city properly.

When I stay at home I never feel inspired, so I like to go out and work. My favorite place at the mo-

The digital nomad lifestyle and constant con-

ment is Wild and the Moon; I’m always in the back,

nectivity can sometimes affect mental health.

looking at Instagram. I get so many ideas there.

How do you manage stress and maintain your

Also, before I go to sleep, I immediately write down

well-being while living and working in Paris?

all my ideas, and when I wake up I record every-

When I first arrived here, I had a very stagnant

thing. I like having a routine where I’m constantly

moment on my social media. I had just moved, so

stimulated. Even if I have just an hour-long break,

I didn’t want to be recording and posting, but my

I try to do something; I don’t sit in bed and rest. I

followers were demanding it. My parents and my

do, however, have limits. For example, I never an-

friends were asking why I wasn’t posting. I was

swer my phone on the weekends. I like to be en-

overwhelmed and I wanted to enjoy the experi-

gaged with my community, but sometimes it’s too

ence without having to stress about filming. I

overwhelming. I recently went on a trip and over

stopped posting for a month or two and stayed at

the course of it, I didn’t answer a single text. I was

60,000 followers for that time. I started to stress

recording and working but I wasn’t on my phone

because I wasn’t gaining any followers. I was put-

the whole time. I keep my personal life as private

ting so much pressure on myself. Eventually, my

as possible.

mom said to me, “Take your time—relax and do things with pleasure. Otherwise, you’ll get sick of 75

TOO TUNED IN TO

TUNE OUT

Can we press pause on the noise inside? By Isabelle Devitt

he neurodiverse and disabled communi-

tions, or stimuli that constantly occupy the mind.

ties have complicated relationships with

It may involve a heightened sensitivity to sensory

noise. If there’s too much noise in the out-

input, difficulty filtering out irrelevant informa-

side environment, it can be impossible to ignore,

tion and a racing or restless mind.” She further

which can sometimes be physically debilitating.

adds, “Internal noise can manifest as a constant

If there’s not enough noise in the outside envi-

stream of thoughts, difficulties in focusing on spe-

ronment, the silence can be overwhelming. Nois-

cific tasks, challenges in filtering out background

es that were fine five minutes ago suddenly feel

stimuli, sensory sensitivities (such as sensitivity

unbearable. It’s a constant balancing act trying to

to light, sound, or touch) and an overall heightened

monitor and regulate sound intake based on what

awareness of both the internal and external envi-

one is doing and how they’re feeling. But there’s a

ronment.”

different kind of noise that’s even harder to grap-

One of the most common ways internal noise

ple with: the noise that exists out of reach, inside

is explained is as internal vibrations, both of the

one’s own skin.

body and of the mind. “I feel like I’m going to vi-

When you Google “internal noise,” the first re-

brate off of my seat,” explains Diana Sabbagh, a

source that pops up is an online study from the

neurodivergent student at AUP, when asked how

communications department at Ridgewater Col-

she experienced internal noise.

lege. In the text, internal noise is defined as, “any-

more of an overwhelming sense of not knowing

thing going on inside the body of the transactor

what’s happening. Everything feels like it’s bub-

which causes a distraction,” with examples of

bling over.” When asked what she thought best rep-

physical internal noise including, “a headache,

resented this feeling, she likened herself to, “a jar

stomachache, or just being tired.” While this defi-

full of marbles that are shaking.” Sometimes this

nition isn’t necessarily wrong, it isn’t entirely ap-

shaking is confined in your skin, making you feel

plicable to the internal noise experienced daily by

as if you could explode at the smallest touch, like

those in the neurodiverse community.

a balloon blown up far too big. At other times, the

She adds, “It’s

Brooke Berndtson, a professional in the field

shaking escapes the interior of your body, making

of mental health and junior lecturer of Psycholo-

itself known to the world through bouncing legs

gy at the American University of Paris (AUP), ex-

and twitching hands.

plains the concept, saying, “Internal noise is the

In an academic setting like AUP, internal noise

overwhelming and/or distracting thoughts, sensa-

can cause the most fundamental class tasks to be-

come monumental undertakings. Partner discus-

ing the internal noise” was an important strategy

sions, following a professor’s lecture, daily read-

for those interviewed. “I need a lot of help trouble-

ings or even the simple experience of being in a

shooting a lot of times because I get stuck,” Sabbagh

classroom full of other students can easily morph

said. “If I’ve never had to structure my thought in

into mountainous obstacles. Berndtson describes

a specific way, I will not be able to do it until I get

some of the issues this can cause in one’s daily life,

help with structuring it. It’s more of ‘I need to talk

stating, “Internal noise can make it challenging

it out,’ or ‘I need someone to help me write it.’” Tak-

to concentrate, complete tasks or engage in social

ing the jumble out of your head not only allows you

situations. It can cause overwhelm, anxiety and

to see the knots better but allows someone else to

extreme fatigue. Sensory sensitivities can also af-

help you. Whether it’s writing it out on a piece of

fect the ability to navigate and participate in var-

paper or talking through your project with a friend,

ious environments causing one to withdraw or

taking the monster out of the dark makes it easier

shut down for some periods of time.” Outside of the

to see it was just a jacket on a chair.

classroom, the problems persist. Even when the

At the end of each interview, the interviewees

external conditions should be perfect for study-

were asked how they wished the world would react

ing, internal noise can invade one’s brain, causing

to someone experiencing internal noise. Each one

them to think of everything without being able to

of them said “patience.”

hone in on a singular thought with clarity. “I feel

Sabbagh expressed a hope that people would

like I can’t function, like I can’t focus on what I’m

better understand that, “A lot of times, I just need

doing,” explains Sabbagh. “It’s like so many differ-

time.”

ent things are going on in my brain.”

“I definitely think that people should be more

The infiltration of internal noise shouldn’t

patient, and people should be more educated on

make one feel hopeless. While there’s no way to

signs,” said Gruber. “I feel like people should ask

stop internal noise from happening indefinitely,

other people ‘what do you need?’ and not just leave

there are a variety of ways to cope with and settle

them, or ignore them and just wait for it to pass.”

the feeling. Rose Gruber, a graduate student at AUP

“I wish the world had more understanding and

and the Communications Director for AUP’s Neu-

empathy, recognizing that internal noise is legit-

rodiversity Club, highlights the individuality of

imate and often uncontrollable,” concluded Ber-

coping mechanisms, saying, “Some people respond

ndtson. “Patience, flexibility and open communi-

well to using slime or holding ice—things that are

cation can go a long way in creating understanding

sensory. I don’t really respond to those things that

and accommodations which make daily life more

well. For me, it causes a dissonance between what

manageable.”

is happening in my head and what I am experienc-

Patience, flexibility and open communication can go a long way in creating understanding and accommodations which make daily life more manageable.

ing physically. I don’t find that breathing exercises really help because they require mindfulness and focus that I just cannot produce at that moment.” The common thread between different coping mechanisms is trying to regain a sense of control: control over the type and amount of sound input you are receiving at any given time, a focus on control of your limbs and control over where your mind is going. In regards to breaking through the noise when it comes to school work, “externaliz-

3 a.m. in Paris After dark in the city of lights Photography by Gabby Bashizi

Illustrations by Mia Baccei

By Gabby Bashizi & Lilly Mildenberger

Seong from Seoul, Korea What are you doing in Paris now? I have just finished my studies and I am on a break before my first job. And where are you going to work? I went to a computer engineering school so I am going to work in the financial sector in Haiti. Why did you come to France, for studies? I used to live in France and then I was at a French high school in Seoul. I came back here for my studies and then to work. What are you doing this evening on Rue de la Huchette? We were at Bouillon, towards Châtelet and I ate with my boyfriend to make him taste French cuisine. Then we walked towards the Louvre and visited the incredibly lively streets.

Nelly from Albania How long have you been in Paris? One year. Do you like working here? Yes, I especially like the people who pass by here. Do you prefer to work day or night? I prefer to work at night because I like hearing the conversations. Is your passion for pizza? No, not the pizzas, girls!

Tom, Kilian, Adam & Louis from Marseille & Martinique What are you doing here tonight? We came here to party. Are you at the beginning or the end? The very beginning, we have to go buy poppers.

Bougi & Sholom from Central Paris What are you doing outside? I work at the pizza place just next door. Do you like it? Yes I like it but it’s not my passion. What else do you want to do? I’m an electrical engineering student What are you going to do tonight? Going home to sleep because work is tiring.

Charlene from Tampa, Florida What brought you here to Paris? My boyfriend is here for work and I work remotely so I thought, ‘what a great opportunity to come to Paris.’ I’ve always wanted to visit, so if someone presents me with the opportunity, I’m gonna take it. What brought you here specifically to Rue de la Huchette at this hour? I wanted to hear Spanish music; I wanted to hear my culture, my vibe, my energy. It’s my last week here in Paris and I just want to enjoy it. Everyone said to go back to the Latin Quarter—that they have music here, and this entire street has it. What is your kebab order? I ordered a chicken shawarma. We have that a little in Florida, so I wanted to get some because at the end of the night, when you’re done going out, you need to get some food in your system.

Pascal, Anna & Patrick from Provence What are you doing this evening? We had dinner at the Notre Dame Garden restaurant, it was very good. Now, we’ll take a walk and be back soon. You can’t even drink coffee after 00:30, everything is closed. Otherwise, you should go drink alcohol. Do you like it here? Yes, it is the city of work, of culture, of many things… it is alive. We are nice, French people. 81

Spotify

WRAPPED

How your emotions reflect your music taste By Johanna Sletten Larson

Illustrations by Mia Baccei

ave you ever struggled when asked the question, “What kind of music do you like?” Everyone has their personal preference when it comes to music; some might hate Jazz, while others can listen

to it on repeat. The music you listen to can drastically change depending on your mood, what situation you find yourself in, or simply whether it’s a sunny or rainy day. What you listen to can speak volumes about your personality or your life, and it can be a very personal thing. No one can know you better than you know yourself, which is why you know when to listen to rock, or when to listen to piano. What you listen to can also determine what kind of relationship you’re in. If you’re listening to a lot of sad music or angry rock, maybe it’s time to have a conversation with your partner. If you’re listening to a lot of nostalgic romance songs, it could mean that you feel safe in your relationship. Some people either look forward to or dread the day their Spotify Wrapped arrives, as it says a lot about the year you’ve had. I asked AUP students if they could show me their Spotify wrapped and give me an explanation of the sort of year they had.

Ebba Skoog 1. FEEL NOTHING 2. Young and Beautiful 3. I Wanna Know What Love Is

The Plot in You Lana del Ray The Prince Karma

4. FUCK MITT EKS

LOAM

5. Glimpse of Us

Joji

6. Hot Stuff 7. Around the World (La la La) 8. Hot In It (feat. Charli XCX)

Kygo, Donna Summer Refuzion Tiësto

9. Moth to a Flame (with The Weeknd) Swedish House Mafia 10. Legend

Tevvez

“

This playlist is from a time in my life where I was going through a lot of changes. For the beginning half of the year, I was in student housing and with my ex. Then, I had my first university summer and went through a breakup, and then I moved into my new apartment, met my ex-situationship and started school again. So, this playlist for me comes from when there was a lot of reflection and change. It’s basically an emotional rollercoaster. My music taste and the genres that I listen to are very dependent on how I’m feeling, so it changes a lot, and 2022 was a very chaotic year. I can go through periods of life where I’m stressed, and then I find myself listening to a lot of techno, but I never listen to techno when I’m in a good, calm place. I’m guessing that my 2023 Wrapped will probably be a lot calmer than my 2022 Wrapped and won’t have as much techno at all, because this year has been a breeze compared to what I went through last year.”

Bella Groth 1. The Seed (2.0)

The Roots, Cody Chesnutt

2. waves - Tame Impala Remix

Miguel

3. Brazil

Declan McKenna

4. Julia (deep diving)

Fred again..

5. WAIT FOR U (feat. Drake & Tems)

Future

6. The Color Violet

Tory Lanez

7. Last Last

Burna Boy

8. As It Was

Harry Styles

9. Don’t Keep It To Yourself 10. The Jangling Man

“

Ruthven The Cleaners from Venus

This playlist is very random, but it definitely shows my most general mood. My music taste has changed to some degree, because it really depends on what country I’m in, the people I’m with, or the things I’m doing. I think my next Wrapped will be more indie and calmer than it was last year because I went out more the previous year!”

Kevin McAleer 1. As It Was

Harry Styles

2. Jag ska fånga en ängel

Ted Gärdestad

3. I Got You (I Feel Good)

James Brown

4. You Make My Dream (Come True) Daryl Hall & John Oates 5. Build Me Up Buttercup (Mono) 6. Burning Love 7. Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride 8. Rich Girl 9. Emily 10. I Believe to My Soul

The Foundations Elvis Presley Various Artists Daryl Hall & John Oates Alexander Wren Ray Charles

“

I feel like my 2022 Wrapped definitely reflected the stressful and fast-paced year I had. My most listened to songs and some of my top listened to artists are my go-tos when dealing with stress or when I need to get energized to get things done. I wasn’t too surprised about last year’s wrapped; I knew what music I leaned on to get me through those times! And even though I listened to a lot of the same music and artists this year, I do think my music taste has changed since then. I have discovered new artists that I have been really enjoying, and I think I’ve entered a new stage of life in 2023, which I feel will be reflected in this year’s Wrapped.”

Molly McPhillips 1. Romantic Homicide

d4vd

2. Call It Fate, Call It Karma

The Strokes

3. Blue Light

Mazzy Star

4. Show Me How

Men I Trust

5. Death of the Phone Call 6. Krystal 7. Playground Love 8. Common Burn 9. Somewhere Tonight 10. Love Songs on the Radio

“

Whatever, Dad Matt Maltese Air, Gordon Tracks Mazzy Star Beach House Mojave 3

I would say that the music I listen to can be very reflective of how I am feeling at the time. In 2022, I had just moved to France, and in my Spotify Wrapped, there were a couple French songs that I started listening to, which is an obvious connection, but I also really love to take music suggestions from my friends. So, the scope of what I was listening to became much wider and was a clear representation of all of the new people I was surrounding myself with. I think the music I listen to now is pretty similar to what it was at the end of 2022.”

an ode to the

OXFORD COMMA By Gabby Bashizi

icture rows and rows of kids, yellow #2

mar system. Its origins are attributed to Herbert

pencils with bright pink erasers clutched

Spencer, a Victorian philosopher whose life’s work

in their tiny hands. A teacher, dressed in

is more often associated with the phrase “survival

a mid-length skirt with her blouse tucked neatly

of the fittest.” The Oxford comma was coined when

into her waistband, uncaps her whiteboard mark-

Spencer wrote in a letter:

er and draws a swift black tick on the board—the comma.

“Whether to write ‘black, white and green,’ with the comma after white, or to leave out the comma

“Write the comma where you pause in a sen-

and write ‘black, white and green’—I very positive-

tence,” she iterates carefully and for the millionth

ly decide in favour of the first. To me, the comma is

time, making sure that her students grasp the pur-

of value as marking out the component elements

pose of this particular punctuation mark. “When

of a thought and where any set of components of a

you see a comma, take a breath and then keep

thought are of equal value, they should be punctu-

reading,” she continues, pointing at the several

ated in printing and in speech equally.”

sentences written below the large symbol.

This rule was finalized in the Oxford University

This is a glimpse into an elementary school

Press printing handbook, and since then, the se-

classroom in the early 2000s, when school was

rial comma became known as the Oxford comma.

a place where children learned decorum and or-

The purpose of which is to clarify, to delineate

der. Here, they were taught how to live within the

and to punctuate. For such a clearly defined little

confines of the English language; confines which

symbol, there is a lot of present-day controversy.

served a purpose and gave sentences meaning. Yet

The Associated Press Stylebook, which sets the

at some point in the past twenty years, this sense

writing standards for all news publications, takes

of grace has been abandoned in favor of lists and

a staunchly oppositional stance on the use of the

lists of words with no delineation. The bold tick

Oxford comma, saying, “Do not put a comma before

mark that was once an indication of separate ideas

the conjunction in most simple series.”

is now obsolete. The world’s greatest journalis-

In a simple enough instruction, there appear to

tic minds have come together to decide that this

be many caveats to their rule. Above all, they em-

striking, handsome symbol should no longer be

phasize clarity. This, apparently, can be achieved

used. This is the death of the Oxford comma.

by rephrasing, by using a dash or by using a semi-

It is perhaps not as dramatic as that; the death of

colon—or by using the accursed comma.

the Oxford comma is more of a fading away of this

Other regulations of the comma range from op-

particular style of writing. Since the comma first

tional—as in Chicago Style—to simply banned.

emerged in the early-twentieth century, it has been

This flaccid attitude towards an enormously use-

the source of fierce debate amongst people well

ful punctuation mark does not have a single point

versed on the inner-workings of the English gram-

of origin; rather, it is a collective abandonment of 87

a now archaic love for grammar and composition. Increasingly, books have a gaping white space between conjunctions and final items, making them frustrating to read for bibliophiles who want steady pacing and clear delineations. More than an emotional decline of honor and elegance, the abandonment of the Oxford comma also has tangible effects. The legal landscape is plagued by instances of cases whose consequences hinge on the use of this comma in legislation. Page 113 of Maine’s Government Legislation Drafting Handbook cites commas as “...probably the most misused and misunderstood punctuation marks in legal

drafting and, perhaps, the English language.” The Handbook implores writers to use commas thoughtfully. This thoughtfulness can be found in the strict and persistent use of the Oxford comma to clarify prose and add a certain level of dignity to writing.

It is time to once again take up arms in the determined fight against ambiguity. It is time to once again write with intention and clarity. It is time to once again teach children what it means to write coherently. The precious preservation of this perfect punctuation mark is what written English needs to once again produce prose that prevails over that of the past. The Oxford comma is elegant,

strong and distinctive; its death is downright devastating, and the preventable nature of its demise makes it all the more unbelievable. It is time to bring back the comma, and with it, dignity in writing.

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