OPINIONS
TransLink security is over-the-top
One decision, five days, new life
Learn about The Lyre
This job market is comical
INS: mice, hojicha lattes OUTS: trackpads, disrespecting pigeons
Petra Chase, Editor-in-Chief
INS: reading anything that’s not a Slack message OUTS: not being 10 minutes late to everything
Abbey Perley, Production Editor
INS: plastic-free living OUTS: watching TV shows with only one season and getting attached to the plot, only to be disappointed
Mason Mattu, News Writer
INS: shorter prodo days, taking medication on time OUTS: the normalization of ChatGPT, the pandemic, and geese
Michelle Young, Copy Editor
INS: childlike wonder, card games OUTS: lactose, identity crises
Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer
INS: more meat-free days, finishing TV series OUTS: hitting snooze religiously and then waking up at 2:00 p.m.
Kaja Antic, Sports Writer
INS: getting a driver’s license OUTS: responding to work messages at 2:00 a.m.
Izzy Cheung, Arts & Culture/Sports Editor
INS: shower thoughts, touching grass OUTS: social media overconsumption, not sleeping enough, geese
Mary Gigiberia, Assistant Production Editor
subconsciously choosing misery in
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This should be a sign for the provincial government to prioritize funding TransLink’s operations to ensure they don’t have to resort to such dire tactics.
LEISURE IN INFLATION
We frequently forget that building a strong foundation is needed to make change possible.
While the government has the authority to revamp “third places,” we can also create our own inside pre-existing boundaries.
Don’t stay six months living in misery when it can all be changed in five days.
Minimizing systemic violence because of numbers pushes the responsibility to acknowledge the horrors of a system away from ourselves; it’s complicit ignorance.
I’ve grown taller, / your hair has turned grey, / I chatter, / you take in everything I say. CREATIVE READS
AN EXCERPT FROM “YOU AND I” BY KIARA
Nadurata puts a modern spin on it with more of an alt pop sound that makes you want to dance in your bedroom, or belt the song’s lyrics in the car.
BHANGU
NEW FROM NIA NADURATA
Continental Cuisines
Travel the world through these local restaurants
Red Leafs junior Izzy Ferguson leads the individual average for GNAC women’s golf with 74.5, with redshirt sophomore Denby Carswell is third in the GNAC men’s standings with a 71.6 average.
Put this on your New Year’s bingo card Put this on your New Year’s bingo card
Seriously, doit
Locate Reginald the III
No one has heard from SFU’s best food critic in nearly a year! You should try to find him. Like all raccoons, he is the cutest thing ever. But unlike all those unsophisticated trash pandas who roam around naked, he sports a red sweater and tiny square glasses. He was last seen hissing at one of those nasty Cybertrucks that are invading our lives. Find him!
Raise your hand in class
I know what you’re thinking; this goes against the entire thesis of this piece because it’s an easy, boring, simple goal. Why aren’t you doing it then? We see you in the corner making faces because the TA is seemingly sharing every single thought they’ve ever experienced. But that’s just a tactic to make deciphering what will and won’t be on the exam a bit more challenging for you. Don’t let them distract you. Raise your hand, I dare you.
Read Blenz’s Burn Book
Are you ever standing in line in the SUB, waiting your turn to buy an $8 latte, wishing you could indulge in quality literature to pass the time? Well, if you weren’t so busy staring at the menu pretending you were going to deviate from your typical order, you’d notice they have a little book detailing all of the ways their drinks are better than their competitors. It’s kinda iconic. Happy reading!
Stage a coup and make Reginald the III SFU’s new president
When you’re lying in bed at night asking yourself, “To sleep or not to sleep?” Stop. This is not the right question. The real dilemma that should overtake every university student’s life is whether or not to aid a sophisticated raccoon in a coup. Put down the bed time stories and pick up the manifestos. Let’s change the system this year! Coup! Coup! Coup!
Convince Reginald the III to review recent changes at Mackenzie Café
The stir fry station changed their rice noodles and we need an expert to rate them! Without his expertise, how will we know if they’re worth adding to our Reusables containers or if we should become chow mein or rice fiends? Once you find him, leave some rice noodles in the compost for him please. It’s the least you could do.
COMIC BY CINDY WANG
January 6–12
Aries
March 21–April 19
I was gossiping with the stars about you and they said that you’re stubborn so you’ll probably think you’re invincible all year. Close your damn incognito Google flights tab. The Boeings are falling apart! #StayGrounded
Cancer
June 21–July 22
My sweet Cancer, the stars are not your therapist. They might listen to you, but they’re under no obligation not to judge. The stars predict you will do a lot of opening up this year and that they will do a lot of side-eyeing.
Libra
September 23–October 22
Once you’ve voted, there’s really no point in staring anxiously at your screens waiting for the election results. Instead, the stars advise that you use that time to dye your hair, baby your bang, and pluck eyebrows. #Don’tShavePuss #LookCuteInTheFaceOfFacism
Capricorn
December 22–January 19
You were very demure and very mindful all of 2024 and where did that get you??? The stars suggest trying to be very aggressive and careless this year. No idea where that will land you but the stars are making their popcorn to watch the mess from the sky.
Taurus April 20–May 20
Celeb lookalike contests were all the rage in 2024. No wonder the stars are warning you to look closely at all the pictures on Hinge. Listen to the most followed woman on Instagram when she says “Everything Is Not What It Seems.”
Leo July 23–August 22
If someone offers you an orange pill this year, say, “No, thanks! I only take drugs that have been tested. I also don’t take anything from people who build a private gym in their workplace for no reason.” Trust the stars. This oddly specific situation will happen this year.
Scorpio
October 23–November 21
Just because it felt like there was an aurora borealis every other week in the Lower Mainland in 2024, it does not mean you should spend the upcoming year looking up. The stars are up there and they’re shy!
Aquarius
January 20–February 18
Aquarius, the stars told me to tell you that in 2025 someone is going to screw you over. They’re going to make a ridiculous decision that is going to lead to a deeply annoying result that was entirely preventable. But you’re going to handle it like a champ. The goSFU outage of 2024 has emotionally, spiritually, and psychically prepared you.
Gemini May 21–June 20
Listen Gemini, even though you feel like the get-together is going great and everyone is having fun, overstaying your welcome is rude. The stars are begging you not to be a Trudeau this year.
Virgo
August 23–September 22
I know, 2025 is the year of regulating your nervous system, but not everywhere is an appropriate spot for a deep inhale and an even deeper exhale. Careful! The Stanley Park train is coming. The stars are begging you to hold your breath!
Sagittarius
November 22–December 21
There will be another Wicked movie in 2025, but leading up to it, it would be unwise to make every holiday about Shiz. Elphaba on the Shelfaba was enough (too much even). We do not need to be Glindafying Cupid in February and hiding the Easter Bunny from the authorities that are trying to cage him in April.
Pisces February 19–March 20
In 2024, we got Kate Middleton BBL allegations before GTA 6. We also got Lorde and Charli working it out on the remix before GTA 6. We even got a fake Crumbl cookie pop-up in Australia before GTA 6! But in 2025, if you ask super nicely, the stars just might align and you’ll get GTA 6. #NoPromises
PEAK MEMBERSHIP
As an SFU student, you subscribe to the Peak Publications Society. With your subscription, paid through a small semesterly levy ($4.90 for fulltime students and $2.45 for part-time students) included in your tuition, you get access to a weekly copy of The Peak filled with news and views of interest to you. Additional privileges of be-ing an SFU student include the ability register your membership with the Society, to place free classified ads, to be paid for work submitted and published in The Peak, and to apply for a job on The Peak’s staff.
Your contribution also helps provide jobs and experience for other SFU students, maintain an archive of SFU history through the eyes of students, maintain The Peak’s website, and support student journalism across Canada.
Students who have paid their tuition fees and do not wish to support their student newspaper may request a subscription fee refund from the Business Manager, but MUST provide a copy of their REGISTRATION SUMMARY, RECEIPT, and STUDENT ID between Monday, January 6 and Monday, January 20 at 4:00 p.m. No refunds will be issued outside of this time frame. Students claiming refunds will lose their subscription for the semester, but subscription will resume upon payment of student fees next semester. Questions? Email business@the-peak.ca
SUDOKU
LAST WEEK’S SOLUTIONS
