Imperfect Fits (Digital)

VOL. 171 ISSUE 2 MAY 16, 2022

NEWS

O PINIO NS

FEATU R E S

A RT S & C U LTU R E

A look at invisible illnesses

What’s with the SUB’s hours?

At a crossroads of culture, queerness, and disability

Exhibition reimagines Chinese Canadian narratives

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Imperfect Fits

Put on your dandiest clothes for SFU HUMOUR P.15

Volume 171, Issue 2 Dressing fine as hell since 1965

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Maggie Benston Centre 2900 Simon Fraser University 8888 University Drive Burnaby, BC, Canada V5A 1S6 (778) 782-5110

NEWS Increasing surveillance targets the marginalized in Vancouver

COVER Shaheen Virk

OPINIONS

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Michelle Young eic@the-peak.ca

Land acknowledgements at SFU are still performative

COPY EDITOR Nancy La copy@the-peak.ca

06 12 13

FACT CHECKER Gurleen Aujla factchecker@the-peak.ca BUSINESS / ADVERTISING MANAGER Yuri Zhou business@the-peak.ca 778.782.3598

FEATURES No bad blood at this Taylor Swift fan club

PROMOTIONS MANAGER Jaymee Salisi promotions@the-peak.ca NEWS EDITOR Karissa Ketter news@the-peak.ca NEWS WRITER Chloë Arneson OPINIONS EDITOR Luke Faulks opinions@the-peak.ca

ARTS & CULTURE Everything Everywhere All at Once delights with multiverse adventures

FEATURES EDITOR Meera Eragoda features@the-peak.ca ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR Gem Yelin Lee arts@the-peak.ca HUMOUR EDITOR Kelly Chia humour@the-peak.ca STAFF WRITERS Nercya Kalino, Yasmin Simsek, Isabella Urbani, and Olivia Vissier

HUMOUR McFogg the Dog takes on Sims

PRODUCTION AND DESIGN EDITOR Josh Ralla production@the-peak.ca

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Get involved!

The Peak is the official weekly student newspaper of SFU and is published every Monday. We're funded by a student levy and governed by a board of directors. Any SFU student can become an editor, and we hire an editorial team every semester.

All SFU students can contribute to The Peak and get paid for their work!

Contact an editor or follow us on social media to find out when our weekly pitch meetings are.

ASSISTANT PRODUCTION EDITORS Megan Yung and Yining Zhou

We reserve the right to edit submissions for length, as well as style, grammar, and legality. We also reserve the right to reprint submissions at any time, both in print and on web. We will not publish content that is sexist, racist, or otherwise prejudiced.

We acknowledge that The Peak’s office is located and our paper is produced, distributed, and read on the Unceded Coast Salish Territories of the xwməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh), Kwikwitlem (Coquitlam), Kwantlen, Katzie, Semiahmoo, and Skwxwú7mesh Úxwumixw (Squamish) Peoples. Unceded means that this land was never surrendered, relinquished, or handed over in any way. We recognize that the unceded land that we occupy includes not only the SFU Burnaby campus, but extends to the land occupied by the Vancouver and Surrey campuses as well.

CORRECTION In last week's issue, Planting Seeds, The Peak failed to accredit the photographer of the published images. This has been updated on web to give Paige Smith full credit for all images used in the article. Further, a previous version stated, the piece I Leave You With All of Me, To You “implemented wood, gesso, and acrylic paint,” implying these pieces were not separate. This is incorrect and has been updated to reflect that the piece being described was titled To You and its materials were mixed media. Further, a previous version said, “The aspect of technology in art is shown through Lin’s attempts to experiment with the inputs and outputs of the camera feed and the microphone.”

This is incorrect and has been updated to reflect that this artwork does not include a camera feed and there was no camera involved in the production nor installation of this work.

PHOTO EDITOR Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson photos@the-peak.ca MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Karla Salazar multimedia@the-peak.ca ASSISTANT MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Rashi Sethi WEBSITE MANAGER Karar Al-Mamaar web@the-peak.ca BOARD OF DIRECTORS Kelly Chia, Emma Dunbar, Emma Jean, Angela Wachowick, and Yuri Zhou CONTRIBUTORS Amanda Eng, Makena Leyh, Cristina Liao, Stella Nguyen, and Cynthia Piña PEAK ASSOCIATES Maya Beninteso, Krystal Chan, and Hannah Kazemi

NEWS

May 16, 2022

3

SAFETY OR SURVEILLANCE

Vancouver city council discusses increased surveillance to deter crime CCTV surveillance has historically targeted marginalised and racialized communities CHLO Ë ARN E S ON // NE WS W RI TE R

A new motion was brought forward in Vancouver’s city council to increase the use of CCTV surveillance technology in areas around Metro Vancouver. It suggested cameras should be installed in partnership with the Vancouver Police Department (VPD). If the motion passed, the VPD would determine where the cameras would be placed.

The Vancouver city council voted on this motion at the end of April 2022. The vote was turned down and recommendations to fund CCTV technology in Vancouver will not be made.

Councillor Melissa De Genova was the only council member to vote in favour of the motion.

Originally, the motion, put forward by De Genova, explained that large cities across the world such as London, New York, and Washington use technologies such as CCTV cameras or facial recognition technology to counter violent crimes.

The motion stated violent crime has increased since the last council debate regarding increasing CCTV cameras in 2018.

According to statistics provided by the Vancouver Police Department, crime has increased 11.3% since last year. The types of crime that increase this statistic are theft and mischief.

Crimes against a person, homicide, and breaking-and-entering are down from last year.

Some were concerned the motion would have infringed on citizens’ privacy rights.

The Peak interviewed Dr. Darren Byler, an SFU professor who specialises in surveillance systems and their impact on marginalised communities, to find out more.

The motion was defeated with only one vote in favour.

“It’s hard to know exactly what effect [the cameras will] have.

My sense is that when they say ‘critical areas,’ they’re referring to high traffic areas which might be areas where they say there are high rates of crime.

“Those locations are also locations where Black and brown people — people that are racialized — are often located,” said Byler. “My sense is that it will turn regular activity into something that could become criminalised.

Surveillance is never neutral. It is always about control, no matter where it’s situated.

D R . DAR R E N BY LE R / / S F U P R O F ES S O R

“We should be very careful in how we use surveillance and think not from the position of those who are protected in the society,” Byler began, “but rather from the position of those that are more vulnerable, who have less protections, so you know stateless peoples, undocumented peoples, people that are already radicalized, they are the most affected by this. Because

PHOTO: Michał Jakubowski / Unsplash

what surveillance really does is that it amplifies existing problems in our society, it makes them worse.”

Byler noted that security is never neutral since it is designed to discipline. “You’re always being watched, or you might potentially be watched, so you monitor your behaviour.” Byler added, “That assumes that the person being watched has the capacity to change their behaviour.”

Surveillance affects people from particular communities differently.

Byler explained there is a disproportionate amount of surveillance directed towards certain socio-economic and ethno-racial statuses.

“Surveillance is never neutral. It is always about control, no matter where it’s situated.” Byler added, “It’s about controlling and disciplining people.”

The Internet Freedom Foundation, an organization from India that promotes fundamental technology and privacy rights, suggests that CCTV surveillance is not effective in preventing sexual violence or crimes against women, as the majority of this violence occurs in private places. Internet Freedom Foundation reported CCTV cameras can have undesired effects on women, such as “voyeurism and moral policing.”

They further suggest that improved street lighting may be more effective at preventing violence against women.

Dr. Byler explained he believes “we should think about surveillance as a response to a symptom rather than treating the underlying cause.”

INVISIBLE ILLNESS

Opera Mariposa hosts its annual Benefit + Awareness Campaign The campaign will donate the funds to the ME | FM Society of BC CHAR LEN E AVI LE S / / P EAK ASSO CI ATE

Opera Mariposa, an opera company, is hosting its 10th annual Benefit + Awareness Campaign for myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and fibromyalgia (FM) during May 1–June 1, 2022. Their website notes they are “Canada’s first entirely, openly disabilityled and run opera company.”

In an interview with The Peak, Stephanie Ko explained her sister Jacqueline was always passionate about fundraising and educating others on myalgic encephalomyelitis. They realized from first-hand experience how few people were educated on myalgic encephalomyelitis.

The virtual campaign will include a music video from singer Jacqueline Ko and interviews with Ko and YouTuber Robin Hahn. Opera Mariposa has also partnered with Christina Baltais — an artist living with myalgic encephalomyelitis who uses paintings, photography, writing, and art to showcase their experience living with chronic illness.

“We’ve encountered that first-hand in the medical system trying to seek health care, and then that flows through to family and friends and the public, the lack of understanding, the lack of support,” said Ko.

Opera Mariposa reports myalgic encephalomyelitis can lead to issues ranging from “chronic pain, cardiac issues, and immune problems to neurological symptoms like movement disorders, light sensitivity, and intermittent dyslexia.”

Researchers are estimating that one in ten folks who get COVID-19, including mild cases and even initially asymptomatic cases, are probably going to develop myalgic encephalomyelitis.

STEPHANIE KO GENERAL MANAGER, OPERA MARIPOSA

They also note fibromyalgia is characterized by chronic fatigue, widespread pain, brain fog, issues with sleeping, and digestive issues. According to ME | FM Society of BC, “The cause of myalgic encephalomyelitis is not yet known.”

The campaign’s goals are to increase public awareness on myalgic encephalomyelitis and fibromyalgia, raise funds for the ME | FM Society of BC, and build a community.

She added, “There’s an additional urgency now with COVID-19, because the majority of these types of illnesses [can be] triggered by viruses.”

Ko reported, “Researchers are estimating that one in ten folks who get COVID-19, including mild cases and even initially asymptomatic cases, are probably going to develop myalgic encephalomyelitis.”

The response to the annual campaign has been positive. She explained many participants approached her enthusiastically about how the event was the first of its kind in Canada.

“When we started these events, we had folks phoning us up saying that they’d never heard of an event like this and being excited, saying ‘And it’s in Canada where I live!’” said Ko. She explained the urgency of this cause, especially since many people with myalgic encephalomyelitis and fibromyalgia have difficulty accessing health care resources.

“Myalgic encephalomyelitis is a very prevalent illness.

Prior to the pandemic, it affected over half a million people in Canada [ . . . ] but it’s not even talked about in most medical schools. For people, it takes many years to get a diagnosis, and they think about 90% of people with it aren’t even diagnosed.

The event will be held online and over a month to increase accessibility.

PHOTO: Stephanie Ko

“Statistics Canada showed that myalgic encephalomyelitis and fibromyalgia had the greatest unmet healthcare needs of any chronic patient population in Canada and the highest poverty levels,” said Ko. At the heart of the campaign is Opera Mariposa’s commitment to accessibility. Taking into account the different aspects of accessibility, the campaign will be online, self-paced, sensoryfriendly, and feature closed-captioning, and alt-text.

“To me, temporal access, temporal accommodations, is one of the most invisible but pervasive aspects of accessibility, or the most common friction points, particularly for people with energy limiting illnesses or access needs,” said Ko. Participants will be able to watch the interviews, experience Baltais’ work, and listen to Ko’s music online at their own pace.

Opera Mariposa is accepting donations via Rally Up. To learn more about the campaign or to purchase entry tickets, visit Opera Mariposa’s website.

4

OPINIONS

Opinions Editor Luke Faulks

·

opinions@the-peak.ca

SUB-STANDARD

The Student Union Building’s hours should match the rest of the campus The SUB’s schedule runs counter to students’ schedules

NE RCYA KALI NO // STAF F W RI TE R

How is it that the building centred around student life works against students’ life schedules? Whether it’s during or inbetween semesters, most of the Burnaby campus is basically open 24/7. Not so with the Student Union Building (SUB). It’s time for the building’s hours to match the rest of the campus.

To be fair, between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m., some of the campus’ doors are locked. But there’s always a way to get into campus. It seems like a no-brainer as to why.

As students, our schedules vary based on our course load, extracurricular activities, and the lives we have outside of academics. I’m sure you’ll find during your university career that students have some of the weirdest schedules around. The rest of the campus has hours that accommodate students’ complex schedules. Case in point, the AQ is open 24/7.

The SUB, it seems, has yet to realize the problem with restrictive hours. Between semesters, the building’s hours are 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Fine, I guess. During the semester, though, the building opens two hours after the rest of the campus at 9:00 a.m. That’s not even the worst of it, because the building is entirely inaccessible before then, unlike the rest of the campus.

The SUB forgets we pay for it.

It feels like a bait-and-switch. We’ve spent so long waiting for the SUB to fully open, and now it’s opened with restrictive, seemingly arbitrary hours. And that is not all. Due to this restriction, many of us crowd the building at peak hours in hopes of avoiding traffic in other communal spaces. Earlier this year, the SUB closed to reducing in-person activities due to rising cases of the new Omicron variant, despite the SFSS articulating their concern for the health of students. Not ideal in the middle of a pandemic where we’re apparently supposed to be social distancing. The SUB’s hours make that harder.

That’s not even to mention the sheer number of critical student spaces the building houses that are off-limits to students thanks to those weird hours. The SUB is supposed to be one of the spaces that indulge students. We have spaces for food, retail, napping, recreation, dining areas, as well as study areas.

We’ve also got important groups representing marginalized groups like the Disability and Neurodiversity Alliance, First Nations, Métis, and Inuit Student Association, and Students of Caribbean and African Ancestry residing in the SUB.

PHOTO: Jonathan Wong / The Peak All of this begs the question, “Why? Why the abnormal hours?”

If the SUB’s decision-makers are short-staffed, hire students!

We need jobs. There are plenty of students that live on the Burnaby campus surely seeking experience. But if we’re being kept from the building because the SFSS feels overly protective of its new toy, well that’s harder to respect.

Students don’t have predictable hours and we’re absent any concrete reasoning from the SFSS on why things like $11,000 parties are more important than paying for SUB maintenance staff. While in part, this is speculation, the building’s limited hours continue to feel like bait for something we can’t fully enjoy. The limited hours of operation remove groups of students that have unconventional schedules. It’s not us, it’s the hours.

We’ve paid for the space. We’re still paying for the space. It’s time for the building managers to unclench and line their hours up with the rest of the campus.

CLIMATE CRISIS

We can handle worrying about multiple problems — we just lack the time COVID-19 hasn’t made climate change any less scary

LUK E FAULKS // OPI NI O NS E D I TO R

Just over a month ago, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the planet’s highest climate research body, released the latest in a series of damning climate predictions.

Among the frightening calls to action was their finding that a livable world depends on global emissions peaking in 2025. It gives us just three years to reverse a horrifying upwards trend in planet-warming emissions. The problem is that it’s not resonating with citizens.

Predictably, researchers have been trying to work out why climate doesn’t animate voters for a while. One idea that’s gained prominence recently is the “Finite Pool of Worry” (FPW) hypothesis. FPW argues that humans have a limited number of issues they can care to stress about at any given time. Though the term was coined in 1991, the hypothesis was first applied to climate change in 2004. The study investigated why climate change remained on the backburner of public opinion. They put a survey to two groups of farmers. Each was presented with a study on seasonal climatic conditions for the coming year, one favourable, one not. Researchers found that beyond ranking climate as a higher concern, the group exposed to the poorer climatic outlook expressed less worry for other factors, like taxes or politics. Basically, “as the concern about climatic risk increased, concern about political uncertainty diminished.”

The FPW hypothesis has been gaining traction in recent years, even leaping beyond academia to mainstream news outlets.

Why the boom? COVID-19.

Climate action remains on the backburner.

Some academics had been worried that stress about COVID-19 would diminish climate anxiety. Instead, research shows that climate worry stayed high as COVID-19 surged. A survey of the United Kingdom in 2021 suggests that climate has become an “intransigent” worry for citizens. In essence, it’s an issue citizens feel consistently upset about, regardless of the context — including, apparently, a global pandemic. Opinion surveys in Canada support the hypothesis. Early in 2021, before wildfire season and the heat dome, the environment surpassed COVID-19 as Canadians’ “top national issue of concern.”

The question arises, then, why aren’t we doing anything about it? The answer is we don’t have the time to care. Research, let alone political participation, are luxuries that an overly-busy citizenry can’t afford in an economic system that demands so much of our time.

Let’s take Canada. Whether it’s taking the time to exercise, to cook, or to lead otherwise healthy lifestyles, Canadians don’t have enough free time on their hands. That might be why, out of 30 countries surveyed this year, Canada ranked

PHOTO: Markus Spiske / Pexels among the bottom five states whose citizens are aware of any national climate plan. In a busy country, we don’t find ourselves with the time to engage meaningfully with the issues of the day.

British labour economist Guy Standing has written and spoken about the need to recapture citizens’ time. A new politics based on time, he argues, is necessary to spur citizens’ “community and political engagement.” He’s right. In Canada, politics based on reclaiming Canadians’ time is a necessity for climate action. Only a fully informed citizenry can be fully engaged on climate action, and right now, that’s not us.

The FPW hypothesis doesn’t account for everyday pressures felt by Canadians. While climate remains ever-present on our minds, our ability to meaningfully engage on the issue, let alone keep it at the fore of our everyday lives, is hamstrung by smaller everyday pressures. Climate change alone is enough of a threat. To have a citizenry that’s meaningfully engaged on the issue, however, means reforming the way we work and live to afford us time.

OPINIONS

May 16, 2022

5

RECONCILIATION ON CAMPUS

Land acknowledgments at the start of classes are still performative Actions speak louder than words

MAYA BEN I NTE SO // PEAK ASSO CI ATE

Land acknowledgments are just the beginning of the work.

Content warning: mentions of graphic violence towards Indigenous peoples in the second paragraph As another semester dawns upon us, it means another semester of empty words and abysmal attempts at reconciliation. The use of land acknowledgments, whether at the beginning or throughout the semester, lacks a key component: action.

While important, land acknowledgments are the bare minimum. In a world where Indigenous peoples lack clean drinking water, continue to end up missing or murdered, were confined and killed in residential schools, and comprise a disproportionate percentage of the foster care system, words uttered in a monotone fashion are purely performative. This chapter in Canada’s “dark history” is not closed — nor has it ever been — and SFU can do much better to act on Canada’s ongoing genocide.

It seems as if Canada’s “engaged university” continues to lack engagement with respect to reconciliation. In my experience, land acknowledgments are met with a sigh by some faculty members — as if acknowledging we are indeed on stolen land is a waste of their breath. The attitude towards land acknowledgments may be a contributing factor to why Indigenous peoples see these utterings as superficial. In the words of the Algonquin elder Claudette Commanda, land acknowledgements are simply “a brownie point on [the] Truth and Reconciliation Commission report card.”

Notably, the education system continually fails to address its colonial curriculum at every level. Education must expand its horizons beyond textbooks written by white cisgender heterosexual men with a Western lens. It often lacks Indigenous histories and perspectives but has been reinforced as “education.”

Students, like the rest of our society, should be learning from an Indigenous lens within post-secondary institutions.

They would gain invaluable knowledge from people who can share history from their own experience, instead of a colonial perspective. On top of that, this would fulfill Call to Action 63, which suggests education should integrate Indigenous knowledge and history into its curriculum.

Faculty members need to be provided with the proper education in order to teach students on Indigenous ways of learning and knowledge. For instance, Indigenous knowledge has been recently consulted for matters pertaining to environmental protection. Faculty members can also invite Indigenous leaders and experts to share knowledge while retaining the integrity of their roots and paying them for their labour. Incorporating Indigenous knowledge, along with sincere land acknowledgments, is the bare minimum.

The world of academia has historically been, and continues to be, composed of cisgender white men and SFU is no exception.

PHOTO: Adam Madojemu There is a white bias towards white men that exists in the world of academia, wherein these candidates seeking research opportunities receive a response at significantly higher rates than any other intersectional identity. This reinforces systemic barriers that marginalized communities face.

One way to combat this discrepancy is to add more diversity to educational institutions. In the Final Report of SFU’s Diversity Meter, a mere 3.7% of SFU’s faculty identified as Indigenous — a statistic which SFU claims is “proportionate” to the general population. However, according to the Government of Canada, 4.9% of Canada’s population identified as Indigenous as of 2020.

SFU’s inaction doesn’t mean you cannot participate in reconciliation. Though I’m not an Indigenous person, there are a myriad of ways in which one may support reconciliation and Indigenous peoples. Namely, you can start by educating yourself on Indigenous history, culture, languages, and ways of learning. If you truly want to make a significant impact, you may further organize a fundraising event for a charity that supports Indigenous peoples.

Reconciliation doesn’t end with teaching Indigenous ways of learning and acknowledging we’re on stolen land. It means removing systemic barriers that Indigenous peoples face, listening to them, and platforming their voices.

THE DARKEST TIMELINE

Why are we so obsessed with the multiverse right now?

Pop culture is always a sign of the times

YASMIN V EJS SI MSE K // STAF F W RI TE R

The multiverse is a cross-medium phenomenon in 2022.

The multiverse. It’s understandably on everyone’s lips right now. When it seems like our own reality is becoming increasingly nightmarish, we want to check-in on an alternate self to see who has it worse. Simply put, the multiverse is everywhere thanks to our increasing desire for escape and comfort.

So, why are we hooked on the multiverse right now?

That’s not to say the multiverse is a 2020-era invention.

The idea of multiple parallel universes started circulating over 2,500 years ago in Ancient Greece. Flash comics and Michael Moorcock’s The Sundered Worlds helped re-introduce the concept to readers in 1961 and 1963, respectively. You’re probably familiar with the concept thanks to Marvel’s billion-dollar, movie-length meme.

Marvel is not the only one exploring the multiverse. In the multiverse we also find comics such as DC, novels like His Dark Materials, and TV series like Rick and Morty.

Undoubtedly the multiverse is most profitable capitalistic venture for show business.

The best answer is the most obvious: COVID-19. These last two years have felt like the longest in living history and a lot of people wish there was a real end in sight to this pandemic.

With Shanghai going back into lockdown, the finish line seems further and further away. Who doesn’t fancy an escape? A great escape would be to walk to another world, a parallel universe where there is no pandemic, no wars, no anti-vaxxers — just magic, heroes, and more Benedict Cumberbatches.

With the multiverse, there’s a diverse array of escapist options. Everything Everywhere All at Once is a 2022 movie that makes absolutely no sense (humans have hotdogs for fingers at one point), but is a comedy about how the main character is struggling in our world and needs to connect with parallel universes to make sense of it all. If I didn’t convince you to watch it with hotdog fingers, it stars Michelle Yeoh, who we should watch every day, but especially during

SCREENSHOT: Walt Disney Studios Asian/Asian American and Pacific Islanders Heritage month.

We all need a laugh these days, so watching a comedy about the multiverse is exactly the escape we need.

It’s not just speculation. There was a huge surge in superhero and disaster movies in the ’00s. Just as we needed superhero movies after 9/11 to feel hopeful, we now see a need for several universes to feel there is a way out of the current state of the world. The reasoning was explicit in movies such as Iron Man and The Dark Knight. Both movies also revolved around terrorism — domestic and abroad. Despite increasingly problematic portrayals of muslims, the media and political landscape allowed audiences to fulfill a desire for protection. Similarly now, humanity has plenty to gain safety from, so we seek it out in parallel universes.

From Doctor Strange’s utopian Earth-838 to the fantastical, philosophy-heavy universes in His Dark Materials, the multiverse abounds. Check in to see if you’re really in the darkest timeline.

FEATURES

Written by Isa The early months of the pandemic encouraged people to pick up a new hobby or resume previous passions while homebound. For Cristina Liao, founder of SFU’s Taylor Swift fan club, SFU Swifties, the pandemic brought her from an occasional Taylor Swift listener to a superfan.

Her first introduction to Swift was the singer’s 2014 Grammy Award winning studio album 1989. From that album, Liao “obsessively” listened to “Blank Space” and “Out Of The Woods,” alongside some other Swift singles including “Safe and Sound” and “I Knew You Were Trouble.”

Although she was initially introduced to Swift during the singer’s peak pop era, Liao’s favourite style of Swift’s is folk. She enjoys her recent albums folklore and evermore, and even cited folklore as the album that made her a “hardcore” fan.

By the end of her high school senior year, Liao had become a full-fledged fan, and the idea of starting up a fan club the following year in university came to mind.

She finally took the plunge after her idea

was well-received by the SFU Undergrads Facebook group.

“A hundred people or so liked the post so I was like ‘Why not do it?’” said Liao.

As the founder, Liao is responsible for handling club funding, room bookings, and coordinating events alongside her executive team of three other members.

Liao recruited one of her friends as the first executive member to get the club its seal of approval. From there, Liao brought on an events coordinator to help smooth out event details and activities, and a communications manager to oversee the club’s social media.

As for the club’s membership, anyone is welcome to join. The club can be found on the Simon Fraser Student Society’s portal. “It’s just a bunch of friends hanging out and talking about Taylor,” said Liao. “It’s a kind community of Taylor Swift fans, and stereotypically, Taylor Swift fans can be kind of [passionate].”

When it comes to meetings, SFU Swifties are mainly “discussion-based.” All members interact through a group Discord page

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SFU PHOTO: Cristina Liao / Swifties

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From her early country days to her recent folk adventures, Liao enjoys all of Swift’s albums. “I feel like she can pull off any genre if she tries hard enough,” she said.

Her love has only continued to grow with Swift’s latest album Red (Taylor’s Version), a re-recording of the star’s 2012 Red album.

“I love the re-recordings. They make me appreciate her all that much more. For a while, when it first came out, it was all I listened to.” Liao added, “It shows her growth as a singer.”

Aside from her music, Liao is also inspired by the way Swift carries herself, from her ambition to her songwriting.

“She is one of the pop pioneers currently in the music industry, and [one] of the most prolific artists to come out of the 2010s,” said Liao.

Swift was the youngest person to ever receive the Album of the Year award at the 2009 Grammy’s and was named the Youngest Country Entertainer of the Year by the Country Music Association

back in 2010. Since then, she has continued to stake a claim in the music industry by becoming the most awarded American Music Awards winner and most representative artist of Gen Z and Millennials back in 2019.

Nearly 16 years after the release of her debut album, Liao said Swift has influenced recent up-and-coming artists, including Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, Gracie Abrams, and Maisie Peters. So how does Liao enjoy these prodigies?

“I enjoyed [Olivia Rodrigo’s] debut album. I even played it for my dad,” said Liao.

At the end of the day, Liao may be a superfan, but her enjoyment starts and stops with Swift’s music. “I don’t particularly care about the personal life of the artists that I listen to, I appreciate their art,” said Liao. “As long as she keeps making good [music], I’ll listen to it.”

You can find more about SFU Swifties, their Discord, and their events through their Instagram @sfuswifties.

FEATURES

AT THE INTERSECTIONS

Malas energías, queerness, and shaky hands Exploring how intersectionality shapes us Written by Cynthia Piña

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ecent years that I’ve even o see parts of myself overlap ople. In 2014, journalist ández published her memoir, ater Under My Bed, where s ideas of race, class, ess. Never before had I

resonated with the vivid descriptions of growing up in a Latin American household: the mixture of English and Spanish, “las malas energías” (bad energies), and what it means to be a woman in an immigrant household.

Not only was it an intimate examination of what it means to be Latina, but it also explored being a bisexual Latina.

Because much of my experience at home has echoed the ideas of shame in sexuality and queerness often found in larger Latin American society, I was grateful to find a memoir I could relate to on more than one front.

Being a part of the diaspora comes with its own issues: clumsy accents, trouble fitting into two different cultures and never really belonging in either, and a disconnection from my history. Even when I tried to look deeper into the roots on my mother’s side, there wasn’t really a trail to follow, since documentation in rural Venezuela was minimal. Birth certificates alone were hard to find beyond my grandmother‘s — her name was changed to a European one in an attempt to find more opportunity.

While I have found solace in my wonderful Latinx friends who share cultural similarities, I felt left out when considering my queerness and disabilites. Those like Hernández have made me feel all the more comfortable exploring my intersectionalities.

However, it can be hard to live in a society that continues to create barriers on various fronts, especially when conversations around identity rarely explore how different identities connect.

While I haven’t been disabled my whole life, my fine motor skills have generally gotten worse over the past few years. Washing my hair, plucking my eyebrows, and applying cosmetics have left me feeling frustrated. However,

the moment I set my eyes on the Rare Beauty line by Selena Gomez, I was overwhelmed with joy. Easy-to-open packaging by someone who has both spoken about her chronic illness and Latin American roots is something I didn’t know I needed. While I’m generally reluctant to promote specific brands, Rare Beauty’s packaging feels like something actionable to help disabled folks and is something that goes beyond sharing experiences. Again, I felt less alone knowing there was someone who shared intersecting identities and has made my makeup routine largely less irritating to my hands.

Only in recent years have I started to feel the inequities that come from disability, how it’s defined, and how people understand it. What I learned was that people may have a full understanding and acceptance towards one part of you, but they may be very misunderstood about another part.

They are for LGBTQIA2S+ rights, but hold internalized racism. They have an understanding of racial issues, but can’t understand the access needs of disabled folks. The list goes on, and while I may feel safe in certain spaces with parts of my identity, I’ve had to advocate for myself on other fronts.

However, altogether, these experiences have left me wondering, where do I fit in? Do I want to focus on one aspect of myself over others? I had always pushed down these identities and ignored them until I no longer could — so now what? How much space can I claim when others have been advocating for these communities long before me? I don’t particularly have the answers, but I do know it’s important to talk about visibility and the need to create these spaces on all fronts. This way, others can also see parts of themselves in various communities and feel included in their entirety.

Identities aren’t the only thing that define me, but I am grateful to see how they intersect and how they inform the way I move through the world.

10

ARTS & CULTURE

Arts & Culture Editor Gem Yelin Lee

·

arts@the-peak.ca

CAPTURING CULTURAL COMPLEXITIES

Lu and Choi present their meditations on cultural journeys.

IMAG E: Greystreet Media and Intersections in Art

The meaning of cultural identity: (Re)making Chineseness Lucy Lu and Melanie Choi explore the complexities of their heritage in their works

K E LLY CHI A // HUMO UR E D I TO R

How does our perception of cultural heritage intertwine with our memories? Canadian artists Lucy Lu and Melanie Choi tackle this question in their photography exhibition, (Re)making Chineseness: Reflections of Cultural Heritage. Visitors can view Lu and Choi's collections online, titled Da Pi Yuan and Blanket Fort respectively, on the Intersections in Art website between April 23–May 29. Curator Yang Lim describes the exhibit as explorations on Chineseness in Canada, and the ways they are shaped by factors like migration and heritage.

Lu’s statement on her work titled, Da Pi Yuan (大皮院), is an homage to Lu’s first five years of life in her hometown of Xi’an, China. Lu fondly recalls the time as “nebulous, distinctly [her] own, but of a different lifetime.” Da Pi Yuan captures this exploration in dreamy, melancholic photographs of her hometown. In an email interview with The Peak, she writes about the conflicting sides of her cultural identity growing up in Canada and feeling like an outsider.

“I tried very hard to be ‘less Chinese’ growing up in an attempt to fit in. Then when I would visit family in China, I felt like a foreigner,” Lu explained. “As I’ve gotten older and explored the topic more deeply, I’ve learned to see it not as two sides in opposition but many aspects of myself and my past existing in harmony.”

Through some discomfort due to her limited fluency in Chinese, Lu lived in Xi’an for three months for her project. “It was definitely healing, it made me realize that preserving my culture takes effort, and isn’t always easy,” said Lu. One photograph titled, My Parents’ Vase, is especially close to Lu’s heart. The photo is comprised of a new set of silk flowers that adorns a plastic-covered vase.

“My grandparents kept that vase after we immigrated to Canada, and I love that the fake flowers are covered by plastic,” Lu said. “It very much speaks to my own desires to preserve pieces of my past through this project.”

Lu also treasures the portrait of her grandmother, a radiant and resilient figure in burgundy. Lu explained that despite her grandmother’s limited mobility after a stroke, she wanted to pose on her own outside. Da Pi Yuan, then, is Lu’s honest depiction of the nuances in her cultural identity.

Choi reckons with similar questions in determining how identity is defined in her photographic series, Blanket Fort.

Choi describes Blanket Fort as a “narrative of Canadian-born Chinese experience.” Choi deals with cultural identity on a

personal level while reckoning with the painful marginalised histories of Chinese immigrants in Chinese Canadian history.

In our email interview, Choi said her work was a response to the confusion many young Asian Canadians may be experiencing.

Blanket Fort began with anger. “I felt that often the intricacies of my culture could be instantly erased when someone would tell me they loved sweet and sour pork or bubble tea. To have my entire language and culture be simplified to the menu of a Panda Express definitely made me question my existence,” Choi explained.

When researching Hong Kong textiles for her work, Choi initially wanted to reclaim any vapid stereotypes of her cultural clothing being a costume. This characterized the main tones of Blanket Fort — the relationships between cultural appropriation and appreciation as viewers took in the model in Choi’s photographs.

“I think my favourite of the collection is still the one with the model standing alone in all the wreckage below her,” Choi said.

In the photograph, the model distinctly stares at the camera amongst the fruit and flowers underneath her, as if interrupting the softness of the collection. “The model shows no emotion of fear but rather presents an atmosphere of strength and warmth.”

Choi ultimately wants Blanket Fort to be a safe space for other Asian Canadians questioning whether they are enough. “I can speak Cantonese but I can’t read. I love going back to Hong Kong but I’m regarded as a white-washed Chinese. I’m in Canada and people only see me as being Chinese, not even bothering to ask where my family is from,” Choi recalled. But she also remarks that confusion can be comforting and hopes her work provides a refuge for similar feelings.

As I spoke with Lu and Choi, I felt unspeakable nostalgia. Their work speaks to the complicated nuances of how I’ve felt about my culture and hometown as a Chinese migrant — a cultural outsider both at home and in Canada. It embraces those nuances as a valid part of cultural identity.

Interested parties can view (Re)making Chineseness: Reflections of Cultural Heritage on the gallery website. Lu and Choi’s works can be found on their respective websites.

ARTS & CULTURE

May 16, 2022

Need to Know, Need to Go: Food Festival Edition Upcoming food events in Lower Mainland to add to your summer calendar WR IT TEN BY GEM Y E L IN L E E

When I think of summer, one thing that comes to mind is food festivals. Walking around an outdoor market and trying so many foods that you have to loosen your belt is one of my favorite ways to spend a hot summer day. Food festivals are also a great way to find out about new local brands and businesses to support. Mark these dates on your calendars because many of these food festivals only come once a year!

1

Japan Market Summer Festival

Where: Vancouver Art Gallery North Plaza When: June 11–June 12, 10:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m.

As part of explorASIAN 2022’s programming, this Japanese market is making a comeback after a two-year hiatus. They promise over 70 vendors of Japanese edible treats and merchandise. The event is in the heart of downtown this year, so you can snack your way through the festival before checking out an exhibit at the Vancouver Art Gallery.

2

I llustra tion : A man d a En g / The Peak

BC Halal Food Fest 2022

Where: Surrey Civic Plaza When: June 25, 12:00 p.m.–9:00 p.m.

A new food festival is born this year and a much needed one at that. With BC being the home to over 79,000 muslims, the festival aims to “strengthen and unite the Halal food community to create a delicious collection of vibrant cultures and traditions in our own little corner of the world.” The event is free to attend and welcome to everyone, promising Halal food and drinks, vendors, and activities.

3

Planted Expo Vancouver

Where: Vancouver Convention Centre West (1055 Canada Place) When: June 4–5, 10:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m.

Previously called Veg Expo, the largest plant-based lifestyle expo of the year returns to the Vancouver Convention Centre this summer! The event boasts over 200 vegan food and lifestyle vendors and features a stage programme of inspirational speakers from all over the world. Every year I’ve gone to this Expo, the sense of community and compassion has always been strong.

Whether you’re vegan or not, be prepared to learn something new and to try many different vegan delights.

4

Richmond Night Market

Where: 8351 River Rd, Richmond When: April 29–October 10, weekend evenings (hours vary)

With almost no need for mention due to its raging popularity each summer, the Richmond Night Market is introducing Hawaiian food to their stacked roster. Although not quite the same, the Richmond Night Market makes me nostalgic for late night food-stall snacking under street lamps in Korea. This is a fun place to try both innovative and nostalgic Asian street foods, especially with their expanded seating this year.

5

Braid StrEAT Experience!

Where: 97 Braid Street, New Westminster (next to Braid SkyTrain station) When: May 21–May 22, 11:00 a.m.–8:00 p.m.

This food truck festival began in 2020 as a bi-weekly drive-thru to safely support food truck businesses and the Royal Columbian Hospital Foundation impacted by the pandemic. It’s returning as an in-person event this year, welcoming folks to set up a picnic and listen to live music while they eat. According to Daily Hive, there will be a rotation of 20 participating vendors differing each day and local businesses selling their products as well.

11

12

ARTS & CULTURE

Arts & Culture Editor Gem Yelin Lee

·

arts@the-peak.ca

MULTIVERSE GALORE

Everything Everywhere All At Once shows us the weird and wonderful Get tickets to one of the wildest rides through the multiverse, driven by an astounding AAPI lead cast and crew MA K E NA LEY H // SF U STUD E NT

From the company that created witty comedies like Spring Breakers, heart-wrenching dramas like Moonlight, and terrifying horror films like Hereditary, A24’s most recent cinematic release is truly one to remember. Currently screening in theatres since its debut in early April, Everything Everywhere All At Once is a thrilling concoction of creative production design, a touching storyline, hilariously choreographed fight scenes, and endless interdimensional madness.

The incredibly talented Michelle Yeoh stars as Evelyn Wang, a first generation Chinese American woman whose life is quickly slipping out of her control. Her husband, Waymond (Ke Huy Quan), is in the middle of filing for a divorce and her disapproving father (James Hong) has just flown in from China to visit them. Evelyn is struggling to accept her daughter, Joy (Stephanie Hsu), and her new girlfriend, and her family-owned laundromat is in deep financial trouble with an IRS audit.

Evelyn’s world is turned upside down and inside out when she learns about the multiverse and how all of the infinite parallel universes are in danger of being eradicated.

Directing duo Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, collectively referred to as Daniels, take their audience on a wonderfully weird journey where fanny packs and pomeranians make fantastic weapons, an everything bagel is something to be afraid of, and butt plugs are something to be fought over.

As absurd as it may seem, the chaotic nature of Everything

Michelle Yeoh’s shocks and awes audiences with her most recent performance.

Everywhere All At Once is one of its greatest strengths.

Over the span of the film the audience learns to accept and appreciate the oddities rather than question them. One of the film’s most memorable scenes consists of a heartfelt conversation between two rocks on the cliff of a desert canyon.

Yes, two actual pieces of stone silently communicating with each other genuinely brought a tear to my eye.

As absurd as it may seem, the chaotic nature of Everything Everywhere All At Once is one of its greatest strengths.

The way the Daniels communicate their thrilling yet sentimental story about a woman’s complicated relationships with her family members, particularly the generational divide between her and her queer daughter, is so fresh and riveting that it is impossible to look away. Evelyn’s skepticism of Joy and her new girlfriend is realistically portrayed through a

SCREENSHOT: A24

series of microaggressions, rather than overt intolerance.

Throughout the film, we get to watch the tension in their relationship rise and fall as the mother and daughter duo slowly come to realize that they can learn from one another, and maybe they aren’t so different after all.

As a film major, I tend to be quite critical of blockbuster movies.

However, Everything Everywhere All At Once exceeded my high expectations from the glowing critics’ reviews. Leaving the theater, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of excitement and inspiration after witnessing such a cinematic treasure. The film’s artistic use of cinematography and production design proved just how powerful the film medium can be. Within a meager two hours, I felt the devastation of a failing marriage, travelled to a universe where people have hotdogs for fingers, and so much more.

Everything Everywhere All At Once promises a hilarious, actionpacked adventure for the critical or casual viewer, and is a great way to support Asian American and Pacific Islander folks in film!

Everything Everywhere All at Once is currently showing at all theatres, and will be digitally released to Prime Video and iTunes on May 17, 2022.

MONDAY MUSIC: FOR THE MELANCHOLIC TRANSITION INTO SUMMER Written by Cristina Liao

“Apple Pie”

By Lizzy McAlpine IMAGE: AWAL

As the weather gets warmer and the first bloom of spring fades away, summer is peeking around the corner. These songs are perfect for the feelings I associate with the season: melancholic summer nights where the sun stretches into twilight or singing from the car window on a roadtrip. Get ready for a summer of high emotions.

Lizzy McAlpine’s soft and beautiful voice on “Apple Pie” matches the sappy emotions that can be felt in the months between May and August on a chill morning. This is a song from McAlpine’s debut album in 2020, Give Me a Minute, and it encompasses the feeling of summer love. With minimal production and gorgeous lyricism, McAlpine croons about wandering through homes and missing somebody. She mentions her real home is with a person who can be presumed to be her lover.

“If By Chance”

By Ruth B

“Never Had A Chance”

By Katherine Li IMAGE: Katherine Li

IMAGE: Columbia Records

“If By Chance” by Ruth B is a melancholic summer song, but it’s one of those pieces that you have to listen to on a July night at a cabin. If you can’t be there, this song helps you imagine it. The production on this piece features a mix of piano and orchestral elements. From the lyrics, one can tell that it’s about the singer telling her ex-lover that they’ll always have a chance even if they are with someone new. With lyrics such as, “And I don’t mean to be selfish / But my heart breaks every time / That I see you smile / ‘Cause I know that it’s not me,” this is definitely a song that will get you in your feels on a warm night.

“london (with Cam)”

“Falling Up”

By Wrabel

By Dean Lewis IMAGE: Big Gay Records

IMAGE: Island Records

“Falling Up” is a perfect carpool karaoke song, that you scream out of an open car window on the highway. With the upbeat production, this is a sure hit for your dance party. According to Indie Band Guru, Lewis’ song “speaks to the loneliness and claustrophobia that can be relatable to the current pandemic. But it also speaks to frustration, anxiety, and the struggle to be truly content in life.” If you want a more acoustic feel to it, Spotify has guitar and piano versions of the song.

More and more music can be discovered through TikTok. I initially found out about Li through her TikTok account, and thought that “Never Had A Chance” was a gorgeous piece by an independent artist. While being quite a sad song, it is one for the quiet and lonely summer nights. Similar to “If By Chance,” this has more of a melancholic feel and is about missing someone even if you had never been in a relationship with them.

The song “london” is a chill, easy-to-listen piece about missing someone in the summer. The singers talk about how when it gets cold in California, they think back to that winter in London. When they miss London, they’re missing that person. While the lyrics to this duet can be melancholic, it can also be understood as uplifting at the same time. The lyrics convey that they are still in love even if the relationship didn’t necessarily work out. As this song is a duet, it seems to show both perspectives of a relationship. The lyrics convey a cutesy summer feel for a montage of main characters running through a field of flowers.

HUMOUR

May 16, 2022

13

SIM-PLE SHENANIGANS

The Pool: The short, sad tale of Pascal Curious Follow this student around campus

YASMI N VEJS SI MSE K // STAF F W RI TE R

Pascal Curious walked from the library towards the Recreation Centre with a sluggish walk. Pascal was an ordinary student: they went to class, worked, and watched for aliens (since you can never be too sure!) And now, they were in the LONGEST library study session. It literally felt like they aged ten years in a day! Just yesterday they felt like a spry toddler. Odd.

Huh, wonder where that thought came from. Pascal wasn’t even sure what the SUB was, other than a submarine.

Pascal couldn’t keep up anymore, but they had the place all to themselves and a lovely swim was waiting ahead.

Pascal decided to change right by the pool. They felt so comfortable in their birthday suit! A simple spin, and they had a sublime swimsuit.

Honestly, Pascal was surprised they managed to actually get work done in the library. Pascal was studying with Mortimer, a study buddy they met only a few days ago.

Strangely, it felt like they clicked when they met, but not anymore. All Mortimer wanted to do was say, “Sul Sul!” over and over again. Pascal could feel their embarrassment growing, especially as Mortimer peed his pants. The library was sacred and certainly no place for accidents!

Pascal was ready to get into the pool, but felt quite icky.

Their general needs weren’t met, they were tired, hungry, and needed to pee. A quick pee break before the pool would be wise. But when Pascal went to the washroom, they found the toilet broken. Frustratingly, they had absolutely no clue how to fix it — Pascal was a lover, not a tinker — so they decided to hold it in and walked towards the pool. Finally, Pascal stood in front of the tiny ladder leading down to the water. The lights on the walls of the pool lit up the water from underneath. Head first, they gracefully dove in.

So Pascal left Mortimer and his accident, striding along the campus. Proud of their achievements of the day, Pascal decided a late-night swim was well-deserved and they headed towards the pool. They felt so drawn to the pool.

Nothing beat the feeling of being completely immersed in a crisp 20°C pool after a long, stressful day.

Normally, there would always be a few swimmers, even this late at night and on such an Gleb-forsaken Monday.

Not today, though. Maybe there was a strike of some sort.

Maybe the student body had decided to close or open the SUB again? Or maybe it’s the research assistants looking for employment rights?

After a few lanes of swimming, Pascal could feel the tiredness take over. And as it did, so did the need for food, a toilet, and their warm bed. Ahh, to Gleb with it, four lanes is enough for today. Pascal swam towards the tiny ladder by the other end of the pool. The closer they got the more confused they were.

Where was the tiny ladder? Not in this corner. Not in the other one either.

Pascal swam along the edge of the entire pool and could not find the tiny ladder! They swore they could hear

I MAGE: Kelly Chia / The Peak

cackling. How would Pascal get out of the pool? Who took it away?

Pascal only did what any reasonable person would in that situation: flail their arms as if they were dancing! Pascal swam in circles, trying hopelessly to find the tiny ladder. Finally, they saw themself losing energy by the second as if flying above the pool. Every stroke was a battle at this point as they tried to stay above water, not being able to exit the pool without the suddenly disappeared tiny ladder. Shoo Flee!

Goodbye, cruel world, this is how we part.

“McFogg! Dinner is ready!”

Ctrl-Alt-S. Saved. McFogg would continue this game of Sims™ after mom’s lasagna — they were so proud they had gotten every detail of SFU correctly in their mod. Another successful session of anger management! McFogg thought about what to name their next character.

KACHOW!

SFU’s parking lots, ranked

SFU, please lower the cost of parking, I am BEGGING HA NNAH KAZEMI PEAK ASSOCIATE & PARKI NG EX P E RT

1. Central Parkade

2. West Parkade

42069/10. This lot will never let me down.

My ride or die. My homie. My bae. Live, love, laugh, Central Parkade. I can always find a spot and it’s right in the middle of campus, so I never have to walk very far to get where I need to go. I feel very “Romeo and Juliet Forbidden Lovers” about this parking lot now though. It’s the only lot you can’t use the Honk Flex parking pass at. I have to find another lover. My heart is shattered :((

9.8/10. I didn’t know that this lot existed until last semester and I’m already almost four years into my degree. It’s tucked away and took me an hour to find the first time.

Because of the Romeo-and-Juliet situation with Honk and my one and only luvr, Central Parkade, I had to choose another lot to dedicate my life to. Since my only Burnaby class in the Spring was in West Mall, I relied on this parking lot and let me tell you, I was not disappointed. There’s always a perfect little spot for my perfect little Toyota. Like all parking lots, it has its own flaws, primarily with car-fires, but I think that makes the West Parkade extra quirky and cute!

Tags: #BestLocation, #CrowdFavourite, #GoldStarsAllAround

Tags: #HiddenBeauty, #MostReliable, #SFU’sBest KeptSecret

4. East Lot

5. South Lot

6.9/10. Not gonna lie, I’ve only ever parked here like twice. Both times were in the evening so I only paid $3.00 or whatever SFU charges after 6:00 p.m. which is why it’s ranked #4. We love cheap parking. More of this please!

?/10. Never parked here.

Tags: #MostUnremarkable, #MostLikelytoHostStudents SummoningDemonsWithAOuijaBoard

6. South Parkade

Just Herbie and me against the world.

PHOTO: Krystal Chan / The Peak

3. North Lot 7.3/10. My go-to spot when I have a class in Blusson or I take a drive up to campus to go to Renaissance. The downside: it’s a fucking trek to get literally anywhere other than the North side of the AQ if I park here. Forget leg day, just park in North Lot and walk to West Mall.

Tags: #ParkingLot?MoreLikeWorkoutSpot, #AverageAtBest

7. Residence Main Lot

?/10. Has anyone ever actually parked here? I can’t even visualize in my head where this lot is, let alone find it without extremely detailed audio and visual instructions. My gut is telling me this lot has been overtaken by construction so it doesn’t actually exist but my other gut is telling me that surely people in residence have visitors and maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough.

8. Residence West Lot -14/10. I accidentally ended up here when I tried to find the West Parkade for the first time and I almost crashed head-on into a janky golf cart absolutely ripping around the corner. I made eye contact with the maintenance guy behind the wheel who was definitely wondering how and why the fuck I was there. I got lost on my way out and I think I actually started to cry a little.

?/10. Never parked here.

Tags: #AfterHours, #Wallet-Saver, #NotablyUn-Notable

Tags: #ExceptionallyForgettable, #MostLikelytobeOvertakenbyConstruction

Tags: #ConfusingButNecessary?, #HardtoFind, #EvenSFUDoesn’tKnowItExists

Tags: #TheWorstLotOnCampus, #TraumaticAndDangerous, #ShouldNotExist

14

HUMOUR

Humour Editor Kelly Chia

·

humour@the-peak.ca

Leaked Among Us movie script We spend so long wondering who is the imposter . . . and not enough time wondering when the imposters will be portrayed in a hot teen movie

Kelly Chia Humour Editor

Gentle readers,

The Peak received an exclusive sneak peek of a script we are afraid of . . . the Among Us movie.

Today is a sad day.

Nay, it is a sussy day.

Read and mourn the death of innovation, my friends.

INT. SPACESHIP — 20XX

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER)

INT. SPACESHIP EXIT

The residence of six crew members. Once they were coworkers, even friends. Now, the pristine white walls reminded them they were among enemies.

At this, CHRIS despairs. He thought he knew the ship, but it felt like a maze at times. He vaguely points at the NORTHWEST corner of the ship. Nobody looks impressed.

The crew rounds up CHRIS, preparing to open the door seal.

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER)

BLUE

Space was supposed to be the next frontier . . . but it turns out we couldn’t overcome our greatest weakness: ourselves.

Um, CHRIS, that’s a bit sussy. What do you mean you don’t know?

RED strides confidently into view. His bright neon space suit masks the horror on his face as he unmasks a death on the ship. Before him, GREEN laid face-first on the floor.

RED takes off his mask and flips his cropped hair, revealing . . . Chris Pratt.

RED/PRATT Mamma mia! GREEN was meant to be the best of us!

How could this happen?!

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER) But deep down inside, CHRIS knew GREEN was weak.

CHRIS and GREEN had a special relationship. When CHRIS had trouble swiping his ID card through the reader, GREEN would chuckle and help him. GREEN had human kindness. Perhaps that’s why they were the first to go.

Still, CHRIS knew what he had to do. He strutted suavely towards the emergency button and pushed down firmly! He’d be the HERO!

PRATT tosses some finger guns at BLUE in response.

RED/PRATT Sorry, I . . . I use finger guns to cope. Anyways, I saw a dash of pink exiting the bathrooms right after I found GREEN! Where were you four minutes ago, PINK? NARRATOR (VOICEOVER) PINK (19 to play 45) heaved a deep sigh. Somehow in that space suit, PINK made herself distinctive. She was like Jessica Rabbit but in space. PINK purrs at CHRIS’ accusation like it doesn’t even bother her.

PINK Fixing the comms signal. You were right there at the body. Have a better answer than “I don’t know.”

RED/PRATT Oof. NARRATOR (VOICEOVER)

Three crew members slumped into the main office where RED was standing: YELLOW, BLUE, and PINK. Their identities are all obscured.

BLUE unmasks, revealing a surly hedgehog underneath. Out of the glove, a long, unlit cigar sits idly. BLUE is SONIC. He speaks with an uncharacteristically deep New York accent. He dabs.

YELLOW speaks first.

BLUE/SONIC

YELLOW

So it’s you who killed our friend, eh? We don’t take well to liars on this ship.

What’s the big hoot, lil’ RED? RED/PRATT

RED/PRATT (EMOTIONAL)

The “big hoot” is death. GREEN’s gone.

GREEN was my friend first! I know I don’t know a lot out here, but neither do any of you!

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER)

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER)

With this serious revelation, YELLOW removed their mask to convey their shock and sadness. The unmasked? VIN DIESEL. The camera holds on DIESEL so the audience can cheer at his cameo.

Unseen, he clutches a pendant in his pockets. The camera reveals text reading: Familia.

Uh oh. CHRIS is in trouble. But what can he do against the legendary debating prowess of SONIC the HEDGEHOG? The crew seemed to descend into chaos, friends turned into enemies, enemies turned into imposters. Who was the killer?!

DIESEL does a conciliatory dab before speaking.

YELLOW/DIESEL That’s not very pogchamp. Where’d you find the body?

But it was sunset for the truth.

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER) Just then, CHRIS remembered there was another crew member who wasn’t present at the meeting!

That white suit. Those sussy white paws! Why, he saw him snickering then. But it was too late.

RED/PRATT Wait!

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER) They did not wait.

CREW (COLLECTIVELY) Hasta la vista, pal!

Red text beams across the ship, revealing CHRIS’s innocence. DIESEL takes off the sunglasses he was wearing underneath the suit.

YELLOW No way . . .

Elsewhere, a WHITE suited astronaut cackled in the distance. Finally, they would have their star moment.

All these years of being the school’s mascot and now they were the universe’s star.

WHITE/McFOGG It’s time for the endgame. Welcome to the McFogg Multiverse (MFM.)

HUMOUR

May 16, 2022

Your Weekly Horoscopes How you should embrace your inner Vancouver Girlie according to your sign

15

May 16–21 Hannah Kazemi

Peak Associate, Girlie In Training

ARIES — Mar 21–Apr 19

LIBRA — Sept 23–Oct 22

Throw it back to 2012 and go to the super hidden and impossible

Take on the Grouse Grind with your buddies and show off your muscles

to find Pink Alley. Take pics with the girlies, then go get bubble tea

in a group pic when you get to the top. If you exercise and don’t post

to reward your efforts. Taking Insta pics is a full time job, so treat

about it, did you even really exercise?? Pics or it didn’t happen.

yourself, bestie!

TAURUS — Apr 20 –May 20

SCORPIO — Oct 23–Nov 21

Go window shopping in Kits and spend your whole paycheck even though

Have a picnic at Stanley Park, then bitch about the prices

you really can’t afford to in this economy, then post about it. Eventually

of hot yoga.

make your way to the beach and when you do, guess what! Post about it.

You know it didn’t happen unless you post about it, don’t you?

GEMINI — May 21–Jun 20

SAGITTARIUS — Nov 22–Dec 21

Find someone with a backyard and a fire pit. Post a pic with the gals

Take a day trip to Whistler. Make sure that you take a picture or video of the

by the fire to commemorate how much fun you’re having in some

view on the Sea-To-Sky every five minutes (on the dot!) and post it to your

rando’s backyard. Remember to stay six feet apart!

Snapchat story so that everyone knows you’re driving to Whistler. Slay, but keep some distance and wear your mask, Sagittarius!

CANCER — Jun 21–Jul 22

CAPRICORN — Dec 22–Jan 19

“Hike” Quarry Rock in your Lululemon Aligns and take a picture of

Stay home and cut your own bangs tonight. You need to prepare

the view when you make it to the lookout point. Bring a speaker with

new lewks for stunning your profs! Self-care is important, too, bebs.

you in your Everywhere Belt Bag and blast some throwback tracks to dance to on your way up and unleash your inner Katy Perry. You’ll be as bright as legal Vancouver fireworks, baby!

LEO — Jul 23–Aug 22

AQUARIUS — Jan 20–Feb 18

Find that spiral parking garage on Cordova (I know you know what

Go somewhere really cool and unique for ice cream, like Earnest Ice

I’m talking about) and have an ~artsy~ photo shoot. Post the pictures

Cream or Rain Or Shine. Write a poem about your experiences. The

on Instagram immediately after, like the girlboss that you are. Bonus

world needs to know your feelings on these sleeper shops that no one

points if you made a series of IG stories while parking your electric

has eaten at before! Be a trend-setter, hon!

car (you don’t make enough to pay for gas in this economy.)

VIRGO — Aug 23–Sept 22

PISCES — Feb 19–Mar 20

Party it uppppp with a few girlies at home (because girlies are

Get the girlies together, put on your oh-so-affordable Aritzia, take photos

responsible, but still know how to have fun) to celebrate the end of

with a disposable camera at the beach and then gossip the night away!

the semester. Put on 13 Going on 30 and paint each other's nails to have the best slumber party EVER!

FASHION FORWARD

Imperfect fits for students who would rather be anywhere but class Three outfits that will have your peers thinking, “Why are they here?”

O LIVIA V I S SI ER // STAF F W RI TE R

1. Everywhere is My Bed

Summer has arrived, and so has the semester! Isn’t that just lovely? I, too, enjoy spending my summers sitting on the leather seats of the 145 in shorts (and peeling my thighs off my seat when I’m getting up), sweating through seminars, and surviving off caffeine. Yep, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be this summer than good ol’ SFU. So, in the spirit of this year’s summer semester, I’ve compiled three outfits that will really make your personality shine.

Nothing says “I’m thrilled to be here” more than this look.

Yes, this one is perfect for fourth-year students and beyond.

Did you put a lot of effort into your style in earlier years only to find yourself giving up later after being swamped with responsibilities? Do you struggle to find comfortable nap spots on campus, then settle for a futon in the Women’s Center because you NEEDED some shut-eye? If so, this look is for you!

Disclaimer: You are only allowed three student-subsidized personalities and looks. Any looks beyond these are NOT my responsibility.

With the rise of loungewear, it’s now safe to say that pajamas are fashionable, and I dig it. You might think that loungewear would make you blend in with the concrete, but the style offers endless opportunities to stand out. Hooded onesies?

Loungewear. Plush slippers? Loungewear. Wearable air mattress? Loungewear! Sleep everywhere!

Gosh, I’d even consider you a trendsetter: SFU-leisure-chic.

2. Outdoor Chic This look is great for people who want to look like they’re on the run or just came back from one. You’ll fit right in with your fellow Vancouverites if you can afford it! I’m talking merino wool base layers, 60-liter backpack, and $800 Arc’teryx jacket levels of chic. The more stickers on your water bottle, the better. How else will people understand you’re outdoorsy?!

Attach all trinkets to your backpack with the most expensive carabiner you can find at MEC. You better think up some inspiring quotes now! Did you just return from the mountains?

Is that chalk on your pants or something else? No one can tell, but I bet your peers will want to hear all about it!

3. Suited-up Student Let’s try something more upscale. Professional, even? I mean, you’ve got to start thinking about references at some point, and who wouldn’t want to write one for a suited-up student? I mean, casual professional-wear is soooooo yesterday.

Why not step it up with a penguin suit? Bonus points if it’s a literal penguin suit. Gone are the days of trying to leave a lasting impression on your esteemed professors. As a penguin you not only leave an impression, but you also relinquish yourself of all human responsibilities. Heck yeah.

I hope my suggestions can be of some help to those who are struggling to get back into the swing of things. If your mind isn’t in the game, at least your outfit can be. Don’t let the cheerful confines of this academic institution keep you from at least LOOKING like you’re having the summer of your life!

IL LU ST RAT ION S: Shaheen Virk / The Peak

16

DIVERSIONS

Business Manager Yuri Zhou

·

business@the-peak.ca

CROSSWORD Across 1. Skyrocket 5. Clip neatly 9. Sneer at 14. Car part 15. Irritate 16. Bert's buddy 17. Enjoy a book 18. Not busy 19. Actress Della ____ 20. Foot part 22. Underscored 24. Shakespeare's river 26. Dispatched 27. Underwater weapon

30. Girls 34. Band instrument 35. Worn out 38. Sombrero, e.g.

39. Pekoe, e.g.

40. Raise 42. ____ snail's pace (2 wds.)

43. 19th letter 44. Ocean currents 45. Prayer finale 46. Notice 48. Make believe 51. Smell strongly

53. Bellow 54. San Francisco prison 58. Andean animals 62. Unattached 63. Gambling city 65. Bottle part 66. More angry 67. Diva's specialty 68. Docile 69. Verdi work 70. Related 71. Afresh

23. Leased again 25. Jotted down 27. Carried 28. Chubby 29. ____ beef 31. Dishonor 32. Dined 33. Endure 36. "____ Lost You" 37. Hoarse 40. And so on (2 wds.)

41. Metric measure 45. Home of the Braves 47. Pencil rubber 49. Fill again

50. Building addition 52. Gold measure 54. Too 55. Roller coaster feature 56. Apple part 57. Zilch 59. Nasty 60. Zenith 61. Distort 64. Nothing

Down 1. Indian attire 2. Draft animals 3. Woeful word 4. Bureaucratic delay (2 wds.)

5. Camera stand 6. Disencumber 7. Afflictions 8. Comes together 9. Love song 10. Tops of waves 11. Small bills 12. Go up 13. Requisite 21. Adam's mate

SUDOKU

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