Spring Jam "turned the fuck up"

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CANADIAN COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER AWARD 2013

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March 23, 2015

Some people have trouble speaking up and voicing their opinion in a work environment. I get it — it’s awkward to have to share your own personal views, especially when it means criticising a colleague and friend. At The Peak, we’re a pretty tight-knit group, which often makes it harder to switch into “work mode” and engage in the kind of real talk needed to get through production days.

I have the opposite problem. I just can’t seem to shut up.

It wasn’t always this way.

Those at The Peak who knew me when I was a wide-eyed, fresh faced contributor will remember the pale, lanky kid who’d stay tight-lipped during collective meetings and whose correspondence would be strictly limited to emails and Facebook messages. Eventually, I came out of my shell and gained confidence in my ideas and opinions — something I still feel is crucial in an environment where everyone

is learning and where making mistakes is encouraged.

The problem is that, somewhere along the way, I overshot my mark. Occasionally voicing my opinions led to dominating the conversation. Mustering the courage to voice difficult opinions led to overstuffed compliment sandwiches.

Often, I have to stop and check myself — or rely on others to do so for me — before I shove my foot too deeply into my own perpetually open mouth.

As much as I’m proud of the self-assuredness that my time at The Peak has given me, I’ve realised how much I’m missing by not taking the time to listen to others. Not everyone is as much of a motormouth as me, but that doesn’t make their ideas any less valuable — in fact, given that these people rarely get a chance to express themselves as fully as I do, it’s even more important for me to shove a figurative sock in it and pay attention to what others have to say.

Gradually dipping my toes into the Editor-in-Chief pool — where

I will be swimming breaststrokes come this summer — has made me even more aware of my lopsided talking-to-listening ratio.

It’s taken me a long time to think of myself as a real leader, and one of the biggest turning points has been realising that I’m not the only person in the room with good ideas and strong opinions.

I’m still learning and constantly reminding myself of this, but I like to think that I become a little less of a loudmouth jerk as the weeks go by.

The Peak is and will always be a team effort, and not everyone expresses themselves the same way.

I’d hate to think that we’re missing out on good ideas because people can’t get a word in edgewise, and I know that we wouldn’t be as strong a paper as we are today without the input of each and every one of our team members.

With all this in mind, I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you’re like me, do the adult thing and leave your ego at the door. Listen to others, and really listen — don’t just wait for your turn to talk. You’d be surprised how much everyone else has to say if you just give them the chance. I sure have been.

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NEWS

“Hey hey, ho ho, we don’t want to go!”

Shouts echoed across Freedom Square on SFU’s Burnaby Campus on Wednesday, March 18, as students, families, and supporters rallied in protest the impending eviction of the residents of Louis Riel House (LRH).

No representatives from the university were present.

SFU authorities announced on March 7 their decision to close the oldest residence on campus, effective as of August this year. SFU has condemned the building due to structural issues and health concerns associated with black mould.

Amid signs marked “We don’t want to change our school” and

March 23, 2015

“Keep your promise SFU,” attendees gathered to listen to concerned residents share their stories from the steps of the AQ. A current SFU student and resident of LRH, Teresa Dettling, told those in attendance that the residents would not be leaving quietly. “We want to save our community,” she announced to onlookers. “We want to be able to be moved across the campus to affordable housing. And we want in the future for SFU to include

news editor email

affordable low-income housing for students so that students from all different backgrounds can come to university and pursue their educational goals.”

For the past month, residents have been collecting signatures to petition the university to ensure that “all the current and future low-income families and graduate students in Louis Riel House are provided with appropriate housing on the SFU Burnaby campus.”

Leah Bjornson associate news editor news@the-peak.ca

Nevertheless, the university website states that they “cannot guarantee that current residents will be able to find alternative housing within the same price range.”

Ten speakers shared their stories with the audience, including international student Shenwei Huang, who is pursuing his PhD in computer science.

“We feel we are abandoned,” stated Huang. “The university decided to close the building, but they don’t have a plan, they

Melissa Roach

don’t have a considered plan in advance, to finance alternative, affordable, on-campus or nearcampus buildings.”

He continued, stating that it was antithetical that SFU was “demanding their students to engage the world without considering their basic needs [such as] a safe home, affordable home, financial sustainability, and emotional support.”

Mai Abdelmoaty, whose husband is finishing his PhD in electrical engineering at SFU, reflected on the difficulties of the past month. “It [is] very hard, the stress that we’re going through,” she said. “They [SFU] only care that they don’t call it eviction, but it’s eviction. If you don’t ask us or consult us, it’s eviction.”

The rally lasted over an hour and a half, with more than 200 people joining in during the event. The group plans to continue demanding that SFU rehouse all the residents of LRH on the mountain at the same rents that they are currently paying, and that they replace the housing lost due to the building’s closure.

NEWS

March 23, 2015

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On March 17, Woodward’s campus once again opened its doors to a lecture series on Aboriginal issues. Titled “First Nations Innovation and Decolonization using ICT,” the lecture explored how Aboriginal peoples are using new media technologies, and how this could potentially support decolonization process. The speakers also discussed the relationship between policies, governance, and organizational structures within Indigenous technologies development.

Surrey Campus invited everyone to the screening of the documentary Directly Affected on March 19. The film features those living near and affected by the Kinder Morgan pipeline extension plan. Followed by an expert panel, the screening was meant to give voice to the people directly affected by the events.

Wednesday March 18 featured an hour-long Lunch Poems session at SFU Vancouver.

It introduced Erín Moure, a translator of poetry from many different languages and a poet with passion for social issues, and Andrew McEwan, an established author with a unique take on poetry involving the use of SCII binary code for letters.

Students danced the night away at the high energy Spring Jam concert, put on by the Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS) in Convocation Mall last week.

People gathered on the night of Friday, March 20 to celebrate the spring semester coming to a close. The concert was officially slated to begin at 5 p.m., but did not commence until 6 p.m. and lasted until 10 p.m.

Before the event began, SFSS VP Student Services and concert lead Zied Masmoudi spoke to The Peak.

“I think this is one of the best lineups we’ve ever had,” he stated. “I am

really proud that we managed to get this lineup of international artists.

“Compared to the previous Fall Kickoff, we have increased the budget for production and for the artists,” continued Masmoudi. He stated the goal was to keep the budget for production high and ticket prices lower, and most students purchased $20 and $30 tickets.

Around 300 tickets were allocated towards clubs and DSUs. Masmoudi added that “attendance was great and Convo Mall was packed. It was amazing!”

The event kicked off with local indie rock band, Derrival, performing in the early hours of the evening. One of the band members, Deven Azevedo, is also a student and the undergraduate representative on the SFU Board of Governors.

Derrival entertained a modest crowd earlier in the evening,

and treated them to their own cover of the Men Without Hats classic “The Safety Dance.”

They were followed by EDM artist LUVLYF, who had previously performed at the 2014 Fall Kickoff and judged the DJ contest for the same event.

Although the event began in cold and rainy weather, students seemed to be having fun and remaining optimistic. Second-year SFU student Damon Huang stated, “I’m feeling good, it’s kind of cold outside.”

The cold proved to be no deterrent, however, and the night went on. Second-year student Krystal Wong commented, “It’s a pretty good concert so far.”

After LUVLYF performed, Masmoudi came on stage to thank the volunteers who had participated and announced how happy he was about how the event had turned out.

Afterwards, Australian DJs Stafford Brothers brought their beats, along with their signature inflatable kangaroo.

They were followed by headlining act, the house duo, Cash Cash, who brought the crowd to an all-time high with their hit song “Take Me Home.”

SFU Security encountered no major security issues and were pleased with how the event proceeded.

The afterparty for Spring Jam was held at the Highland Pub from 10 p.m. to 1 p.m. Performances from artists, all of whom were SFU students, included Nu Be, the DJ, Drake, and DJ Amorous.

As the night came to a close, Sajjid Lakhani, secondyear SFU student and previous Spring Sendoff DJ commented, “Spring Jam was turned the fuck up.”

6 NEWS

March 23, 2015

In the Election Special section of The Peak, published on March 16, the questions for the following SFSS positions were misprinted: VP: University Relations and VP: External Relations.

The questions as candidates responded to them are as follows:

VP University Relations

They laughed, they cried, they debated important student issues. Emotions and energy ran high at the four 2015 SFSS Elections debates held during this year’s campaigning period.

Candidates participated in four rigorous debates at SFU’s Surrey, Vancouver, and Burnaby campuses over the past week and a half. Each of the debates lasted on average five hours, but candidates managed to keep their spirits up throughout them all.

At-large and faculty representative candidates engaged in three of the four debates, where they discussed issues related to their respective faculties; or, in the case of at-large reps, the entire membership.

Tensions reached an alltime high at the Burnaby executive candidate debates last Wednesday, where presidential candidates challenged each other, bared their souls, and even formed some friendships.

Presidential candidates Johnny Aether (LAN Party) and Enoch Weng both spoke about wanting to change the negative associations students have with the SFSS. Weng asserted that the political atmosphere of the society was “alienating” to students, while Aether shared his dismay at how often he hears people use the word “hate” when discussing the society.

Our cowboy candidate for president, Erik Hadekaer (S.P.A.D.E.S.), pushed his Taco Tuesday agenda at all the debates he attended, as well as transparency and governance reform.

Candidate Zied Masmoudi (REAL) stated that the board

1) What do you think is the most important aspect of the VP University Relations position?

2) As the VP University Relations, you are tasked with representing the SFSS Board of Directors on University committees and working groups. How will you ensure that your initiatives get the recognition they deserve in those committees/working groups?

3) How do you plan to assist other board members in achieving their goals? needs to reevaluate its mission: “One of my main priorities would be to set a goal for the society.”

The mood in the room shifted when candidate Kayode Fatoba (SCHOOL SPIRIT) was challenged by members, directors of the board, and staff on numerous accounts for selfpromotion with society resources, disrespecting staff, and absenteeism.

Fatoba, who is also the current VP Student Life, was accused of billing for meetings he had missed. Current Business representative Shadnam Khan then tweeted out pictures of Fatoba’s timesheets and the meeting minutes, which showed that he had been absent.

In response, Fatoba explained that he receives a volunteer stipend for extensive volunteer work, and may not always record it diligently. He became visibly upset when asked to speak to his personal failures.

“I’m not here because I want to [be]. I’m here because other people believed in me,” he said.

One of the highlights came when a young girl who identified herself as a “future SFU student” asked the candidates what legacy they planned to leave behind for her. Aether replied that he wanted to take the society back to its “radical roots” and increase its advocacy efforts.

University relations candidate Brady Wallace (REAL) spoke to different student issues that would

require liaising with the university, such as the closure of Louis Riel House. His opponent, Ali Najaf (SCHOOL SPIRIT), declined to comment on the matter as he has been working with SFU Residence and Housing on this issue.

However, Najaf asserted that he would side with the student body when in conflict with the administration.

To break up each of the debates, current board members advocated for two levy-related referendum questions that would reallocate funds to grow the food bank program and to increase the society’s financial flexibility by moving more money into the general fund.

VP Student Life candidates engaged in some particularly heated debates. In Burnaby, almost immediately, candidate Deepak Sharma (REAL) asked his opponent, Hassan Liaquat (SCHOOL SPIRIT), why he thought he was the best candidate considering his perceived lack of knowledge. Liaquat

responded, “I’ve done my research, I know how to represent students.”

The room stepped into another era for a moment, as VP Finance candidate Karan Thakur and both Student Services candidates criticized the paper timesheet system utilized by the board to log their hours. “We’re not in the ’90s,” Thakur said.

Issues related to communication and technology were discussed during the VP Student Services debate. Both candidates, Shery Alam and Darwin Binesh, raised their concerns that the SFSS does not effectively communicate with the membership.

One pillar of Binesh’s platform is his plan to improve IT for the society and create an electronic database to keep track of members. He stated, “It’s 2015 and we push paper. A lot of paper. It’s absurd!”

In some of the friendliest debates of the season, VP External candidates discussed matters of advocacy, such as Louis Riel House, transit, and the Open Textbook campaign.

External Relations candidate Arjan Mundy said, “Anybody running for this [opportunity] would do a good job.”

With the debates finished, candidates have until midnight on Monday, March 23 to campaign for students’ votes.

Students can vote online using their SFU Connect accounts from March 24 to 26.

VP External Relations 1) What do you think is the most important aspect of the VP External Relations position?

2) How would you plan to keep the board updated on the plans and actions of external organizations?

3) How do you plan to fulfill your role as the ‘liaison’ between the Society and other student unions?

NEWS

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March 23, 2015

If you knew it would improve public transit, would you mind a tax?

We spoke to Fatoba shortly after he met with the IEC to debate his current infractions. “I definitely think that some of the

infractions were ridiculous,” he told The Peak . “There are some that I would agree constitute an infraction.”

Fatoba emphasized that these reports shouldn’t be the focus of the election period. “It shouldn’t take away from the issues,” he said.

The IEC reduced several of the fines that had been previously issued to Fatoba after speaking with him on Friday, leaving him with the $232.50 total. Chief Electoral Officer (CEO) Oscar Sanchez explained, “There have been some concerns around how appeals have been communicated to candidates. [. . .]

With that in mind we decided to just accept the [appeals] that came in.”

If the government published exactly how the tax money was being spent, would you be more likely to vote in favour of the tax?

Since the 2014 SFSS elections, many of the rules and regulations have been revised.

“Multiple pages’ worth,” Sanchez explained. As such, Sanchez said some of the new rules have contradicted policies from SFU Facilities, creating confusion.

“How our system is set up, it’s a little hard to keep on top of everything,” he continued, noting the tight time frame this year’s IEC had in which to organize the elections.

“We do occasionally struggle.”

Fatoba is also concerned with the office of the IEC — specifically, how it communicates with candidates and its process of announcing infractions publicly before candidates have the chance to appeal them. “There seems to be a need for the SFSS itself to look at its IEC,” he stated. “[The number of infractions] doesn’t necessarily show that I’m not aware of the policy. In fact, it just shows that [there needs to be procedural change].”

The campaign period for the election ends on Monday at midnight. Students will be able to vote from Tuesday to Thursday using their SFU Connect accounts.

How do you plan to vote in the referendum?

71%

65% 51%

transit tax if it would definitely benefit public transit.

Further, 88 per cent responded that they were more likely to vote yes if the government published a faithful audit of government spending on public transit. Earlier in March,

business tycoon Jim Pattison was announced to lead a public accountability committee, but transparency and accountability remain a hot-button issue.

Last, in contrast with the Angus Reid poll, 71 per cent of respondents said that they

12%

2% Won’t Vote

15% Yes

No

A little more

A lot more

12%

No

11% Unsure

24%

Unsure

37%

No

This spring, Metro Vancouver residents cast their ballots on an issue that may leave lasting changes on the public transit scene.

The vote on the Metro Vancouver Congestion Improvement Tax will gauge public opinion on a new plan to fund the development of public transit improvements that includes light rail in Surrey in Langley, increased bus service, a new Pattullo Bridge, and extending the Millennium Line SkyTrain to Arbutus Street.

The ballots, accepted until May 29, will read “Do you support a new

0.5% Metro Vancouver Congestion Improvement Tax, to be dedicated to the Mayors’ Transportation and Transit Plan?”

However, critics of the new proposal are concerned that the money might not be managed properly. There are pervasive complaints about the Compass Card fare validation system that was introduced to curb fare evasion, but has so far cost nearly double the money originally stated. The system was slated for operation in spring 2013, but has since met many delays.

A recent poll by the Angus Reid Institute showed that the ‘no’ side of the campaign was in the lead, with 61 per cent against the new tax versus only 27 on the ‘yes’ side.

The Peak posted a survey online for SFU students, staff, and alumni, and 80 respondents offered their opinion.

The attitude of those surveyed was generally pro-public transit, with 65 per cent not minding a new

casions the professors “seemed completely surprised, and irritated with the interruptions,” according to the IEC decision.

On one occasion the interruption occurred after class had already begun.

Yes

Two weeks into the Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS) 2015 elections, the independent electoral commission (IEC) has issued $501.50 in electoral

violation fines, 46 per cent of which have been personally incurred by one of the presidential candidates.

As of March 20, $232.50 worth of fines had been given to presidential candidate Kayode Fatoba. Last year, the highest personal fines incurred by a candidate totalled $105. Only $20 in fines were incurred in total during the 2011, 2012, and 2013 elections, although several candidates were disqualified.

The IEC also issued a collective total of $210 in fines

to members of Fatoba’s slate, School Spirit. Each member was fined $15 for failing to submit their logo for approval and for copyright infringement.

On March 14, the IEC received a complaint from Marija Jonavovic around the possible use of slander against the REAL Slate by Fatoba. The statement in question was posted to his Instagram and Facebook accounts.

It read: “#Realregnizereal and I don’t recognize y’all.” Fatoba received a warning, which was later appealed and retracted.

Further complaints about Fatoba interrupting lectures unannounced in order to campaign were made on several occasions. On two of the three oc-

planned to vote ‘yes’ on the upcoming referendum.

While SFU students have vocalized their dissatisfaction of the transit service to campus, it seems that so long as it’s done properly, they are willing to pay a little extra for their ride up the mountain.

8 NEWS

Volunteers performed open-air haircuts on Burnaby Campus in Convocation Mall last week, inviting students to shave it all to raise money for cancer research.

Held on March 18, the event was open to the entire SFU community.

Many students stepped up to the barber’s chair, smiling and chatting as their hair fell to the ground.

Balding for Dollars is an annual event held by SFU’s Club For the Cure. This was the eighth year of the event, which has raised about $22,000 annually.

Participants donated their hair, enjoyed music and a barbeque concession, and learned about local cancer organizations.

March 23, 2015

happy to do. “In high school I was quite involved in putting on events that raised money for cancer and BC Children’s Hospital,” she said. “So this is a way of continuing that tradition.”

Cancer is a disease that affects about two in five Canadians over their lifetime. Samnani spoke about how much the event meant to her personally.

“I have had family members impacted by cancer. I think a lot of people have,” she said.

She continued, “I think this event is really important in [that it is] able to share with people how much cancer has affected us and how much we support it.”

Ride to Conquer Cancer and the Canadian Cancer Society were among those present.

Typically, the annual event has a turnout of about 75 to 100 participants, and this year was no different.

SFU students showed up in large numbers to support the cause.

Club for the Cure at SFU was founded in 2004. This year’s event was co-directed by SFU students Erika Pan and Faaria Samnani.

According to Pan, the club’s purpose is to “raise awareness of the issues associated with cancer.”

The Convocation Mall stage was used for participants to have their hair cut or shaved. Many participants fundraised online, collecting pledges in support of

their hair being donated. Others walked by and spontaneously decided to donate their hair as well.

Proceeds from the event will be donated to the BC Children’s Hospital’s oncology unit, which in turn supports research and children battling cancer here in Vancouver.

Raising money for cancer is something Pan has been heavily involved with since high school, and something she’s

Ryerson club excludes white students from forum on racialization Stolen underwear found in University of Calgary residence A security alert was issued to students living in University of Calgary’s residence due to student reporting finding misplaced underwear in their own rooms and others.

Some of the underwear they found went missing from their rooms, but they also found dozens of pairs of bras and panties that didn’t belong to them. One girl found 75 pairs of used panties in her room. Most weren’t hers, reported The Gauntlet .

Although there was no evidence of forced entry into the dorms, and campus security is unsure of what exactly happened, new locks have been installed to prevent any further intrusions or thefts.

With files from The Gauntlet

Two first-year journalism students, Trevor Hewitt and Julia Knope, were asked to leave a forum hosted by Ryerson’s Racialized Students’ Collective because, being white, it was argued they were not victims of racialization.

The students planned to report on the event for a journalism assignment. A Ryerson Student Union coordinator confirmed that “members of the collective have requested a safe space on campus where they can have an open conversation.”

“If their goal in these meetings was to end racialization then it needs to be something everybody is involved in,” said Knope.

With files from The Ryersonian

In the board short “CEO Stipend Increase” published on March 17, it was stated that the chief electoral officer (CEO) had billed 193 hours out of the 200 available, when in fact it was 143 hours out of the 150 allowed. With the stipend increase made at board, the CEO may now bill up to 200 hours.

Dalhousie Student Union leaves allegedly discriminatory provincial advocacy group Dalhousie Student Union (DSU) council voted to leave and disassociate themselves from the provincial student advocacy group, Students Nova Scotia (SNS) due to “concrete evidence of systemic sexism, discrimination and unprofessional behaviour.”

Prior to the vote, DSU president alleged “the organization has a culture of racism, and that racist comments were frequently made and then ‘laughed off’ by members of SNS.” Although in attendance, the SNS executive director was not permitted to deliver a speech he had prepared to council, and claimed that the DSU has not been a safe space for SNS supporters.

With files from The Dalhousie Gazette

NEWS

SFU’s Task Force on Flexible Education (TFFE) held a series of focus groups last week asking students what would improve their experience at SFU. The TFFE created these focus groups to gather data for their research on how SFU can best meet the changing needs of university students.

Students did not hold back their criticisms of the university in last Tuesday’s session on SFU’s Burnaby campus. “We don’t have the opportunity to express our thoughts,” commented Brittany Lu, a second-year physics student.

“Why isn’t there a loan program for books?” asked Prodpran Wangcherdchuwong, a

March 23, 2015

second-year International Studies student, citing the high cost of university textbooks.

Based on the feedback, the Task Force team has already been able to draw some preliminary conclusions.

“SFU is a highly commuter campus. A lot of students are employed or self-employed, there is a large number of English as an additional language students, [and] technology is all around us,” said project manager David Porter.

Based on this new knowledge, he continued, “We are building a set of recommendations [and] out of those recommendations there will be initiatives that will move forward.”

In the three focus groups held on campus, each involving 10 to 20 students, participants were asked their top three concerns and were given the chance to offer written feedback throughout the session.

“Registering for courses is by far the most stressful time

industrial workplaces — uphold their safety features after various types of wear and tear.

Sparrey spoke to the impact her research could have in helping to prevent workplace injury. She told The Peak, “To those working in the field, [lanyards are] their lifeline. It’s the thing that could ultimately save their lives in the case of a fall.”

The study used drop tests conducted at a brand new facility, developed along with BCIT. Sparrey explained that the drop tower setup “is the first of its kind in western Canada that is not at a private company.”

The researchers looked at how various types of damage could affect the performance of the lanyards. The team exposed lanyard

to environmental conditions such as cool temperature and precipitation, as well as to damage from cuts. The tests, Sparrey explained, showed that “pretty much their performance was consistent across the board.”

She continued, “There was no obvious effect of environmental damage on the mechanical performance. There was no obvious effect of weld damage or cuts. Even with cuts that were made 50 per cent of the way through [. . .] it still performed as it should.

“Where we did see catastrophic failure was when there was heat damage.”

Sparrey hypothesized that this was because, while cuts leave a functioning portion of the lanyard still intact, heat melts the fibres of the lanyard and “affect[s] the overall mechanical integrity of the system.”

She acknowledged that one of the limitations of the study was that it used a 100 kg steel mass, which doesn’t effectively demonstrate how a moving person affects the dynamic of a fall. In her next round of studies, she intends to use a crash test dummy, which she predicts will absorb part of the energy from the fall and lead to less deployment of the lanyard.

Sparrey also intends to study situations in which a lanyard

If you’re going to be hanging off any large structures in the near future, you might want to make sure that your safety gear holds up under pressure.

Carolyn Sparrey, an SFU professor of Mechatronics Systems Engineering, in partnership with JADE Engineers Inc., has examined how energy absorbing lanyards — pieces that connect safety harnesses to structures in many

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of the semester,” said Caden Knudson, a fourth-year business student. “Why do I have to take so many elective and WQB requirements that have nothing to do with my program?”

Porter explained that “students are asking for programs that would allow them to really consider employment as part of their reason for being at the institution, they are looking for a much more practical environment.”

Wangcherdchuwong emphasized the need for opportunities for students to engage in skill-based learning. “If the business students have it, why can’t [the social sciences] have it?” she posited.

Students also voiced concerns about campus spaces, support systems, and online resources, including SFU Canvas.

The TTFE has already released a discussion paper on textbook

costs and recommended that online or open textbook options should be considered more seriously. This supports the findings of a SFU Bookstore survey in 2014, which stated that 76 per cent of students think that textbook costs are too high.

Porter said SFU is looking to ultimately find “design programs that better meet student needs, what kinds of teaching approaches could we try, [how can we] use technology effectively, how can we empower students to make better academic decisions themselves, and what kinds of learning spaces could we create around campus.”

The focus group has only engaged a small number for students thus far and has collected limited data on student concerns.

“If these focus groups are successful, it is just the beginning.

It is clear that we need more student input,” said Porter.

might wrap itself around a beam or structure. “One of the things were looking at is how we protect against that,” she noted. “What kind of intervention or technology can we put between a lanyard and an edge or a beam so

that it doesn’t result in a catastrophic failure?”

Despite these results, Sparrey is cautious of drawing definitive conclusions: “Our overall conclusion for all research is we need to do more studies.”

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OPINIONS

The Peak’s editorial staff submitted votes for their preferred executive candidates for the 2015 SFSS elections. After tallying the results and hearing various opinions, we have selected the following candidates, who we collectively feel are best suited for the positions.

This year, we have five excellent and unique candidates running for the position of President.

Johnny Aether was honest and respectful throughout the debates, but his lack of experience was a dealbreaker. Although Kayode Fatoba has a year of board experience as VP Student Life, some remain unsure whether he has the skills to manage the society. Fatoba’s relationship with current staff and board members and his $232 worth of campaign infractions were red flags.

Our runners-up were Enoch Weng and Erik Hadekaer, tied with three votes each out of 12.

Weng is intelligent, friendly, and seems to have connections with many students, including those in the rotunda groups.

Nevertheless, his optimism has also been perceived as naivete, and he seems to lack tangible SFSS experience.

Hadekaer is a joke candidate, except that he’s not. Beyond promises of ponies and Taco Tuesdays, Hadekaer has plenty of experience with student organizations and a calm, steady voice that would suit the leader of the board. His maturity would totally benefit him in the position, and his ideas around restructuring the work

of the society to make it more efficient are great. The guy’s a radical, but in the best way.

Ultimately, though, the votes fell in Zied Masmoudi’s favour. As the current VP Student Services, Masmoudi has been an integral member of the SFSS and knows what it takes to ensure the society functions.

He communicates his plans with clarity and confidence, and understands the limitations of the position. Although he may lack the charm of some of his fellow candidates, his experience and accomplishments speak for themselves.

Since the top priority for the VP Student Services is to ensure that services such as the health plan, transit, and food and beverage services operate smoothly, we chose the candidate with the most knowledge of society matters and student needs.

Most of the staff approved of Darwin Binesh. Speaking concisely and respectfully, his experience on the board this year worked to his advantage during debates.

Competitor Shery Alam lost some of the editors’ confidence when he asserted that all services are equally important, rather than prioritizing services that are more widely used by students. In contrast, Binesh highlighted the importance of ensuring the future of the U-Pass as we transition to the Compass Card.

Alam’s platform included bringing back the night line, a 24-hour confidential crisis line, and emphasized an appreciation for student feedback.

March 23, 2015

Binesh, on the other hand, wants to bring us into the “information age,” with a digital database of the society’s membership. He already has our vote, but we’d be even more impressed if he agreed to return to his former, ’90s-style hairstyle.

The VP External Relations race is probably the most competitive of the entire election.

Karan Thukral, a fourth-year business student, has got some excellent business credentials.

Blossom Malhan has an extensive political academic background, having worked with BC Youth Parliament and a plethora of SFU clubs and events.

Arjan Mundy was our runnerup. He’s a likeable guy who seems truly dedicated to bringing together a strong community. His claim to “support innovation, engage community, and improve communication” is not hard to believe given his experience as president of SFU’s Tau Kappa Epsilon.

But Kathleen Yang wins due to her clear vision on where to focus her attention in the position. We noted her advocacy work and plan to involve herself with other universities’ board meetings to ensure that SFU is up-to-date on recent issues — something that we haven’t seen for quite a while.

Yang knows who needs to be lobbied and where to find the important resources.

Have you seen Deepak Sharma’s smile? But it’s not just those pearly whites — Sharma was our clear winner because of his vast experience.

opinions editor email

Adam Van der Zwan opinions@the-peak.ca

Currently sitting on the board of directors as the Sciences Representative, Sharma has worked with 11 DSUs and was influential in putting the referendum question to create a Science student union on the ballot, showing that he can already navigate the intimidating processes of the student society.

Despite also having lots of event organization experience, Hassan Liaquat is a little heavy on the buzzwords. While full of ideas, his unfamiliarity with the society shows through his lack of knowledge of current projects and procedures. Though we do like the platform point of “more puppy rooms.”

At the end of the day, Sharma’s experience makes him a safe choice. He’s got a great handle on what projects are possible within the position, and how to make those projects happen.

Ah, VP Finance — arguably the most thankless executive position of them all. Responsible for keeping track of the Society’s multi-million dollar finances, it takes a special kind of person to want to take on this role.

Both candidates running this year bring experience.

Thakur is the current president of the SFU Entrepreneur’s Club, and he’s got plenty of business cred off-campus. He also wears the hell out of a suit.

However, many of us were turned off by Thakur’s flippancy and aggression in debates, as well as his unwillingness to send his platform to us for our elections issue. Despite his professionalism, he doesn’t seem like the right fit.

Barbara Szymczyk has more SFU-based experience, having

been a Senator and an assistant for the SFU Food Bank. Her platform is also more geared to helping SFU students, noting that our money should be going to what we care about the most, and she displays a better understanding of the functions of the board.

Despite her nervousness during debates, Szymczyk is our pick.

With the Build SFU project in trouble and the debate over international student tuition hikes going strong, it looks like the next VP University Relations will have a lot on their plate.

Joke candidate Ally Van Poa boasts a funny and incisive platform, but he lacks the necessary skills. Ali Najaf boasts an impressive list of accomplishments, including a role on the Senate, but his question-dodging in debates and unclear platform turned us off.

Our runner-up was Lia Fallah. Despite a lack of experience within SFU, Fallah boasts plenty of outside credentials, including volunteer work. She’s confident, well-spoken, and brings a lot of interesting ideas to the table, including a plan to gain formal recognition of the board from the university.

Ultimately, though, 10 of our 12 voters chose Brady Wallace as our ideal candidate. As the current FASS rep, Wallace has more experience with board. He also openly supports initiatives like the Food Bank, Open Textbook Project, and (ahem) Build SFU. He occasionally comes off as a little overenthusiastic, but there are worse things to be in this role. Wallace is our guy.

OPINIONS

March 23, 2015

Last Friday my coworkers and I discussed our opinions toward all those dating applications out there: Tinder, Match, E-Harmony, OkCupid, Plentyoffish, Grindr, and the like. Being openminded, 20-something-year-olds, I was surprised at the amount of hesitation some of them had towards online dating. As such, I want to present my coworkers’ common arguments against online dating, and reveal why they’re flawed.

Coworker 1: “Online dating is shallow! I’d rather meet someone in

real life, like at a coffee shop, university, or through a friend.”

Me: That’s fair. But if you’re busy, you can’t constantly hang out at all the coffee shops and universities in the hopes of finding someone, nor can you expect your friends to always set you up. Dating applications and sites allow you to be connected 24/7 to a place where others are actively looking. You can match and chat with someone at any time in any place.

Coworker 2: “Online dating is for people who are there to hook up.

Creeps only use these services.”

Me: You could use it merely for hooking up, but who’s to say that you can’t meet your life partner through one of these apps or sites? And yes, there are creeps who use online dating, but there are also creeps in real life!

Last week’s The Peak article “SFU’s fitness centre should remove its women-only hours” ignores the many reasons that the women-only hours are necessary in gyms.

The article argues for gender equality, which is a noble aspiration: it would be great if our society recognized men and women as completely equal, and they were expected to act more or less exactly the same. Gender is not that simple, though. It comes with a history that rsults in males and females raised in different ways with vastly different expectations. This makes some women feel uncomfortable around men, especially while wearing workout clothes.

To ask for all women to immediately feel comfortable in a gym environment is ignoring the fact that not a lot of women do. Because they don’t, and

because they experience much less privilege than men do in our society, women who feel uncomfortable in the gym deserve women-only hours.

Like the author of last week’s article, I also visit the SFU gym regularly, and I also see men being polite and helpful to women there. Further, I also see the majority of men being polite and helpful almost everywhere. Does this mean that I know what it feels like to be a woman? Nope. It’s not even related.

It takes a whole lot of empathy to imagine being one in an environment traditionally dominated by males, and imagine the many societal pressures women feel there.

Some cultural differences also make women feel uncomfortable about men in a gym setting. For instance, I work at a pool that has a women-only swim time, which is used mostly by a group of Islamic women.

They will not get changed into bathing suits until every man has left the area.

It’s not always easy for men to leave so quickly on Sunday nights, but we can’t just tell them, “hey, you know, men and women are equal, and we can all swim together, don’t worry so much.”

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Coworker 3: “All the people you meet on Tinder and other apps tailor their pictures to make it look like they’re better looking than they actually are.”

Me: That’s definitely possible, and a good strategy. But before you go on a date with him or her, you can ask them to send you additional pictures, check out their other social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, and the like, or send live

pictures or videos over Snapchat to get a better idea of how they look.

Coworker 4: “When you meet someone online, you don’t get to know who they actually are. They could be a psychopath and you wouldn’t have a clue until you’ve met them.”

Me: True, but you can survey their personality over a few days or weeks by messaging them before actually going on a date

with them. You could even call them on the phone before going out with them. It’s still completely possible that they’re hiding some crazy aspect of themselves, but you’ll have a better sense of who they are after several lengthy conversations.

Coworker 5: “Online dating apps and websites take away the need to go out and socialize and meet people the oldfashioned way.”

Me: Yes, technology has changed many ways we go about our lives. It’s changed how we navigate, converse, do business, and how we date. Instead of opposing online dating, why not get with the times and take a chance?

Dating apps and websites are not new, and their popularity is continuing to rise. Since you’ve probably already thought about what it would be like to browse Tinder, Plentyoffish, or Grindr, why not give it a shot? You have nothing to lose.

Even if I believe that, and even if I believe that I’m a pretty nice guy and I know lots of nice guys, telling them so won’t instantly make these people constantly feel comfortable around men.

I agree that gender equality is the tops, and I agree that men and women aren’t so different, psychologically and physiologically. But my belief doesn’t mean that every woman at SFU will always feel comfortable while I am present.

What it does mean is that I need to recognize many men, such as myself, have never even had to worry about finding a gym separated by gender or sex.

Of course, this isn’t true for all men. But guys, let’s keep our empathy hats on: we’re talking about women.

Our student funds pay for many different projects and groups, not all of which we have to agree with to make them

necessary. When it comes to the women-only time, I would gladly pay for something that makes a large group of the SFU population feel more comfortable in a threatening domain.

Yes, an hour and a half is an absurdly, unreasonably huge amount of time, and early Saturday morning is an extremely, cataclysmically convenient exercise time slot in the week.

But I think we can manage.

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12 OPINIONS

March 23, 2015

I used to live in SFU’s residence, and it wasn’t incredible. When I moved my bags into McTaggartCowan Hall, it was clear that not much had been maintained during the 30-something years the building has been standing. Walls had cracks, hinges creaked, the bathroom floor tile was discoloured, and the whole building smelled musty with age.

Later that semester, the old plumbing burst and our entire wing of the building flooded, causing 90 per cent of us to relocate for the rest of the school year.

For years, our provincial government has been consistently underfunding SFU, leading to a lack of maintenance measures. This is an unfortunate situation, especially since hundreds of students depend on this housing to complete their education. In this sense,

I sympathize with the institution.

However, I do not sympathize with the lack of transparency that Residence and the university have projected over this issue.

SFU’s Louis Riel Residence is one of the oldest student housing buildings on campus, and it shows. Standing in front of the building seems reminiscent of a real-life Tim Burton film — a grotesque, concrete structure that hollers ‘mould!’ before one even steps through the door. Those who move into residence at SFU are not allowed the chance to ‘prescreen’ the rooms before move-in

day, a policy I find oddly secretive for a university.

In light of the announcement of Louis Riel’s impending August closure, resident Teresa Dettling proclaimed to Global News, “We were all lied to about the condition of the building before we took possession of our apartments!” On SFU Residence’s website, photos of the kitchens and dorms either make the place look fantastic, or are too pixelated to really garner a sufficient understanding of its quality.

My family and I were disappointed upon stepping into McTaggart, and I cringe to think of what

reality hit the Louis Riel residents and their families upon move-in day — contract signed, no turning back for an entire year.

It’s upsetting that SFU has remained so hush-hush about the crumbling conditions of their original residences for so long.

I’m unable to find any previous public contact surrounding the complaints residents have been making about Louis Riel for years, and there’s been no recent discussion of new affordable housing projects on campus. As a result, this diverse community of residents have been told they

will be evicted in August — leaving many of them unable to find housing elsewhere.

For these reasons, I fully support affordable family housing at SFU. I support transparent discussion between these residents and the university, to ensure that their well-being is not overlooked due to financial gain. I support keeping these students and children on the mountain — the place where their contract promises they will remain — and that these new housing situations are accessible for the disabled. And I support the guarantee of a future for lowincome, indigenous and international students to live in residence at this institution.

SFU publicly prides itself on diversity; it would be quite a shame to have to dismiss these students from the mountain when all is said and done.

SFU Residence and Housing have not yet offered a solution to this problem, which is unfortunate. A resolution had better be made quickly; with every day that passes, they’ll sour their reputation by digging themselves further into a hole — all because they chose inaction at the expense of the health and safety of their residents.

I’ve been labelled my whole life.

Every kid gets labelled eventually, and my labels were “smartypants,” “genius,” “math whiz,” and “computer geek.” I lived, ate, dreamed, and breathed science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM). Understandably, I found my calling in mechatronics.

The one label I was never branded was “just a girl.” Once I eventually figured out that I was a cute girl and developed a sexual identity, it was something I kept mentally separate from the genderless world of STEM. I had never

experienced anything indicative of being disadvantaged as a woman.

I had heard the stories of famous female pioneers like Rosalind Franklin, Sally Ride, and Marie Curie. I appreciated that long before I was born, women fought for equal rights, and that’s why I was able to enjoy them today.

Alas, in academia, the war is over and equality now reigns. In Western society, women are now more likely to get an undergraduate degree than men. If you limit your purview to science, then the split is precisely down the middle.

Everything changed a couple of years ago, while I was in university. Feminism became trendy and sororities sprung up, pointed a

finger at us, and said “poor unfortunate girls! We must help them!”

Suddenly people started putting me on a pedestal and treating me like I was a special little flower.

I attended SFU’s Op Fair where employers went out of their way to point out to me how they are making the effort to hire more women, as if I cared.

Contrary to common sense, the push for equality is stronger than it has ever been, so what gives?

The really unfortunate thing is that these pushes for equality are actually having negative effects on women in STEM. By telling women that rather than having made a free choice to go into early childhood education, or the humanities, or

(perish the thought) being a mother, they were manipulated into these decisions by the ghostly hand of the patriarchy, you’re infantilizing them. I feel pretty objectified when I get the sense that I might be hired over an equally qualified male candidate in order to ‘diversify.’

The problem here is the conflation of equal opportunity and equal outcome. Why should it be that exactly 10 per cent of every company’s employees are from the LGBTQ community? Why should exactly 50 per cent of all jobs in a field go to women? Everyone being created ‘equal’ is an ideal, not a reality.

As long as everyone is given access to the open marketplace of ideas, then the world is fair.

I don’t see anyone advocating for an increased male presence

in female-dominated fields like environmental sciences, health sciences, or education.

The idea that I, as a woman studying STEM, need special measures to ensure my success is a deeply misogynistic view.

The whole system should be genderblind; this is really all that’s needed to remove the spectre of sexism. Initiatives to expand the representation of women in these fields are turning into the worst kind of misogyny, especially now that it’s being perpetuated against women by other women.

I am quite aware that I am in a faculty whose undergrads are 15 per cent female. I don’t personally care, though. I’m too busy trying to get my code to compile to have time to bat an eyelash at the gender disparity.

OPINIONS

It is often highly contentious when one voice tries to represent oppressed people from all areas of life.

Feminism is no exception.

Earlier this year, Boyhood actress Patricia Arquette received major backlash for her Oscar acceptance speech. In an attempt to clarify what her speech meant, Arquette added backstage that it was time for gay people and people of color, who have been fought for in the past, to join her in the fight for women in America’s right to equal pay.

Unfortunately, Arquette’s words only reinforced the reasons for the public outrage against her. Firstly, the actress seems to be suggesting that the struggles of gay people and people of color were somehow over, and it was up to them to take up a new battle. Secondly, her statement displayed the potential for feminism to exclude those who do not fit the dominant, white female narrative.

March 23, 2015

By virtue of mainstream culture, as well as other systems in place having been historically structured around white privilege, many aspects of our society favour white individuals. Because of this, people falling under this category have somewhat of an upper hand in their various endeavors. However, let me clarify that the existence of white privilege does not exempt minority groups from privileges of their own.

Take myself for example: an African male. By virtue of being a black man, it would seem as though I have the right to speak on the struggles of oppressed black men — however this thinking is flawed, and something I have previously had to check myself for. Having lived a relatively comfortable life, I cannot wholly communicate the plight of the millions of oppressed black men in the world.

With this reasoning, it is clear why statements like Patricia Arquette’s are flawed. She is indeed a woman, and speaks from the position of oppression — however, she also benefits from white privilege. The point is, the white female experience cannot be used as a

Being single in university, it’s hard not to feel a little lonely sometimes — especially with that couple in front of you sucking face during lecture. But before you chuck that watereddown Starbucks latte at their heads, just stop and think about all the great things there are about being single.

For example, there is actual cash in your wallet. And that new

Nicholas Sparks movie? You’re not being dragged to go see it. You can put the toilet seat up with no fear of repercussions. You, sir, are a bachelor! And that means you get to pick the movie tonight. And it’s Die Hard, so yippee-kay-yay.

Throw on your comfy clothes, leave your hair as it is, and cherish these moments of freedom. They may not last forever, you sexy thing.

Ahh, nothing in the world screams romantic like a 25-woman battle royale for a hand in marriage. Yes, it’s ABC’s The Bachelor, where we are introduced to a handsome, rich man who can’t seem to find a girlfriend.

For the last 13 years, this pimple on the ass of reality television has endured and

perpetuated its unrealistic relationship standards the world over. Brought to us by the producer of Hostel and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it’s any wonder this hour-long program is a horror. This show does not deserve a rose, but rather a poison apple so it can be put to rest for good.

blueprint to interpret all possible intersections.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are quick to claim that feminism is all-inclusive and uniformly covers all the bases.

However, as white women have a wider platform than other women to speak on the issues, we still encounter this problem of exclusion. As an educated, cisgender person who enjoys relative economic safety, my perspective is similarly limited by my privilege. This is something everyone should consider when formulating an opinion on social issues.

I do not aim to speak for women on what they should or shouldn’t do with feminism.

However, I feel like some aspects of the movement can and should be scrutinized, even by nonfemales. It is up to everyone to responsibly advocate for social causes and consider the space from which they do so.

The complexities of unequal social systems prove that there is still work to be done. Rather than shy away from doing the work, we should embrace these challenges as opportunities to grow.

Please visit the website for more information: www.talk.go.kr Contact information: Consulate General of the Republic of Korea 604-­681-­9581 vanedu@mofa.go.kr

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March 23, 2015

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COMMUNITY PHOTOS March 23, 2015

tudents painted the town — and themselves — red last Sunday when they celebrated Holi, the Indian festival of colours. Despite the rain, participants were out in full force, laughing and chasing each other around SFU’s Field 2 with coloured powder and water guns. Organizer Taufeeq Kashtwari commented, “It was a pleasure seeing people of all race, backgrounds, cultures to shake a leg and celebrate their hearts out.”

photo editor email

Brandon Hillier photos@the-peak.ca

ARTS

The West Coast Book Prize Society announced the 31st annual shortlist for the BC Book Prizes on March 11, 2015. The nominations include both emerging and established writers in seven categories, including fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and children’s literature. The prizes are given annually to celebrate the achievements of British Columbian writers and publishers.

Several authors with SFU connections are on the 2015 shortlist, including Jen Currin, alumni and mentor for SFU’s Writers’ Studio.

Currin received her MA in English, and is shortlisted for the Dorothy Livesay Poetry Prize for School.

Currin describes School as a “collection of poetry focused around the idea of life as a spiritual school, which uses the tropes, metaphors, and symbols typically associated with academics and classrooms.” It stemmed from looking for learning everywhere and anywhere, and finding it in unlikely places.

“My process [for writing] is just try to be open, throughout days and life: everything is a potential lesson, every situation a potential classroom, every person a possible teacher,” she says.

As a teacher herself, Currin has taught at the college and university level for approximately 15 years, and finds that student writers can be far too critical of their own work.

But this isn’t isolated to new writers. Currin recently felt similarly about her own writing as she moved from prose to poetry.

“I’ve been working at prose for some years, but haven’t given it my all. It’s slow, and really difficult — poetry is difficult in a different way — because our hopes and expectations of ourselves are quite high, so you have to work within what you can achieve.”

Another finalist, Kevin Chong, is also a writing instructor and a mentor for the Writer’s Studio. Chong has been shortlisted for the Hubert Evans Non-Fiction Prize for Northern Dancer: The Legendary Horse That Inspired a Nation.

arts editor email

March 23, 2015

In the Writers’ Studio, the cohort of 36 students is divided into four genres — adult fiction, narrative non-fiction, poetry and lyrical prose, and young adult and genre fiction.

Each mentor is then assigned nine students in a particular genre.

“It was my first year teaching [at SFU] last year,” says Chong, “I mainly teach non-fiction at UBC, but I teach fiction at SFU, so it was really interesting.”

Chong has authored five books of fiction and non-fiction.

Northern Dancer developed out of his previous non-fiction book, My Year of the Racehorse: Falling in Love with the Sport of Kings. The book began as a casual interest when going to the track with a friend.

“I was never a good gambler, I just enjoyed the ambiance — the old man ambiance. . .and it’s quite a high to have a winning horse.

“The bloodline of Northern Dancer is in about two-thirds of Thoroughbreds alive today, but most books are about his racing career instead of his breeding career,” explains Chong. Northern Dancer was a Canadian-bred Thoroughbred racehorse and one of the top champions of the 20th century in Thoroughbred competitions. The book was released last year to coincide with the anniversary of Northern Dancer’s win at the Kentucky Derby.

Northern Dancer was a move away from Chong’s more

autobiographical non-fiction books, where “everything needed to be more grounded in personal experience.” As his confidence as a writer has increased, so have his writing interests. Next month, Chong will be travelling to China to write a food story for En Route magazine.

The BC Book Prizes hosts a free Soirée on Thursday, April 2, 2015 at Joe’s Apartment (919 Granville St, Vancouver) to celebrate the shortlisted authors, where the recipient of the Lieutenant Governor’s Award for Literary Excellence will also be announced. This honour is awarded annually to one author who has contributed to the development of literary excellence in the province.

Following the annual Soirée, the BC Book Prizes On Tour will kick off, taking select authors, including Kevin Chong, to visit schools, bookstores, and libraries around the province from April 8–24, 2015.

Tessa Perkins arts@the-peak.ca

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Caroline Adderson, a former Writers’ Studio mentor and writing

instructor in the Continuing Studies department, is shortlisted in two categories for two different books. Ellen in Pieces (HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.) is shortlisted for the Ethel Wilson Fiction Prize, and Norman, Speak!, illustrated by Qin Leng (Groundwood Books) is shortlisted for the Christie Harris Illustrated Children’s Literature Prize.

Kevin Chong, a current mentor for SFU’s The Writer’s Studio, is

shortlisted for the Hubert Evans Non-Fiction Prize for Northern Dancer: The Legendary Horse That Inspired a Nation (Viking).

Jen Currin, a former Writers’ Studio mentor, received her MA in

English at SFU. She is shortlisted for the Dorothy Livesay Poetry Prize for School (Coach House Books).

Margaret Horsfield, who received her BA in English from SFU, is shortlisted for the Roderick Haig-Brown Regional Prize for Tofino and Clayoquot Sound: A History (Harbour Publishing), with co-author Ian Kennedy.

Christine Lowther

studied English literature and women’s studies at SFU for one semester before returning to the rainforest. She is shortlisted for the Roderick Haig-Brown Regional Prize for Born Out of This (Caitlin Press).

Roy Miki, professor emeritus in English at SFU, is shortlisted for the Christie Harris Illustrated Children’s Literature Prize for Dolphin SOS (Tradewind Books), co-written by Slavia Miki and illustrated by Julie Flett.

Michael Springate, who received an MFA in Interdisciplinary

Arts at SFU and has been an instructor for the School of Contemporary Art, is shortlisted for the Ethel Wilson Fiction Prize for The Beautiful West & The Beloved of God (Guernica Editions).

18 ARTS

March 23, 2015

Simon Fraser Student Society General Elections

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MARCH 24-26

What are you afraid of? Economic hardship, alienation, feelings of guilt because of sexual promiscuity? Most horror movies are just retreads of The Exorcist or Halloween with jumpy editing and loud violin screeches. The great ones take these conventions and morph them into something unique and personal; they tell us about our own fears.

Directed by David Robert Mitchell (The Myth of the American Sleepover), It Follows combines the storyline of a comingof-age movie with a spooky story where the antagonist is an invisible force continually creeping out the characters. The suburban streets, swimming pools and condemned buildings are this movie’s haunted houses. This movie exists within its own timeless mythology as different elements from the scenery reflect different periods.

It’s timeless because the fears are universal.

The central image of a classic car parked in the unmaintained parking lot of an abandoned building as a blonde teenage girl has sex inside is a send-up of ‘80s slasher flicks.

Anyone who has seen those kinds of movies knows it’s all downhill from there. For example, after the opening scene of Friday the 13th where two teenagers leave a campfire to have illicit coitus, the campers are murdered one by one.

Similarly, John Carpenter’s Halloween follows a murderer as he kills teenagers in 1970s American suburbia who partake in sexual promiscuity and substance abuse.

In It Follows , the blonde teen, Jay, resides in a dark suburban neighbourhood with empty streets. She’s a loner with no serious friendships.

We know her more through

surroundings than through any dialogue.

Jay is plagued with visions of people who ominously follow her. Her troubles are a result of sex with a virtual stranger, who passes on this malaise that she can conquer only by having sex with someone else. The remainder of the film is essentially Jay being frightened by this elusive force while a group of teens lounge around deciphering Jay’s condition.

The film is also about a self-reflexive attempt to rejuvenate the trite formula of horror movies by finding heart in the character archetypes.

Characters are seen watching black and white horror movies. Other allusions include an ‘80s-style synth score, a pool scene reminiscent of Let The Right One In, and an invisible force that comes to punish teenage debauchery.

Unfortunately, the film isn’t very scary in a typical sense. A scary movie that doesn’t scare is like a car that doesn’t move. We are given little information about the characters and little reason to empathize with them, so it is hard to care for them and be scared with them.

That being said, the more I think about It Follows, and the more I appreciate the way it morphs genre conventions to examine a longing for intimacy in a fallen world, the more I feel the poignancy that I may have missed on first viewing.

The slow pace that was initially boring and the detached camerawork that seemed selfindulgent is, in hindsight, hypnotic and touching.

The titular “It” is the same force that seems to be in every formulaic slasher flick. But more importantly, “It” is the embodiment of teenage fears, such as alienation and intimacy. A scary guy popping out of a dark corner with a knife who slashes someone’s throat is not scary; we’ve become desensitized. What’s scary is a film that brings to the surface all the fears that we hold deep inside, the ones that continue to follow us.

ARTS

On stage at the SFU Theatre March 29, SFU student Ally Baharoon presents his first theatrical

Ten years ago, colossal alien trees descended from space and took root all over the planet. The story of Trees follows a group of different people all over the world, all of whom have been affected by this strange event.

In the story, a group of scientists in Svalbard work hard to discover the origin of the trees, while a corrupt dictator in Somalia sees them as an opportunity to seize power. In China, two unlikely lovers meet in a special cultural zone built around one of the alien trees, and in Italy a woman seeks the advice of an old man to usurp a fascist gang running the country.

The world of Trees is populated with a very diverse cast

March 23, 2015

production. He says that his aim is to “offer a cosmic view” of student life, and to explore the relationship students have with measures of intelligence.

The Examination is a dramedy featuring six main characters taking an exam: an imaginative dancer, a narcissistic sociopath, a self-righteous A+ student, an average student, and a confident snob, and the

exam is presided over by a hyper-vigilant invigilator.

The play is presented in a single scene, focusing entirely on the revelations within an exam setting.

Baharoon, a fourth-year English major, wrote, directed, and produced the play to loosely represent key moments in his life.

One experience that inspired him was when he recieved “the award for the best fourth grader in

school back in Tanzania.” It was everything he wished for — until he actually got it. Baharoon realized at a young age just what a fleeting experience it can be to pin your entire happiness on external approval.

Another experience that left a lasting impression on him occured after he arrived 20 minutes late for an accounting quiz. Baharoon felt the pressure to perform by either accepting help from a neighboring student or taking the high road and answering honestly. “Why would this person give me his answers? Is there a particular value to this?” reflected Baharoon.

There is often pressure to either pass or fail, to “be a cheater or champion,” he continued. Ultimately, the goal for the play is to philosophically explore how we identify with the quest for knowledge. As students, Baharoon hopes we can “humour ourselves” and not compare ourselves to each other.

Baharooon’s vision for his first play does not stop on stage. The burgeoning director hopes the audience will share the experience with the characters by having them seated as if they were actually at an exam — on every other seat.

of characters. Two in particular who stand out are a young artist and a transgender woman who live in a culture zone in China.

This is one of the few stories I’ve ever read that actually delves into a transgender relationship in an accessible but non-gimmicky way. It provides readers with a romantic story the likes of which we rarely see in comics, not to mention mainstream television and movies.

is told as one continuous tale.

This presentation adds a great level of suspense, and makes the reader want to keep turning the page.

Jason Howard’s art is spoton from start to finish. His panels are dynamic and gritty, and bring to life a chaotic world searching for answers. Every page is filled with intricate detail; the scenery takes on life of its own alongside its characters.

Howard’s designs of the trees are chilling, and cast an ominous tone on each panel appear they in.

Trees contains science, politics, crime, and love; it has a little something for everybody. The only drawback is that readers will likely prefer certain storylines over others. Some plotlines progress faster than others, and some are just more interesting. As such, parts of the story do slow down at times and can begin to feel like work.

Still, Trees is the most provocative science fiction comic of 2015 so far. While the story leaves readers with more questions than answers, it never once takes away from the overall experience.

Part of what makes Trees special is, in fact, its unpredictability; it

The story shifts constantly between four main plots. Writer Warren Ellis weaves the stories seamlessly together throughout the whole volume. Unlike most graphic novel collections, Ellis chose to forgo separating each issue in this eight-volume saga with its original cover; the story

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The last three years of planning for this play have been challenging for the soon-to-be graduate. However, he credits having come this far to “playing to people’s strengths, trusting the actors and receiving a lot of help from the SFU community.”

Through this collaborative project, Baharoon attempts to “diversify the entertainment here at SFU and show that there is a lot more going on.” Working with volunteer performers and other individuals who dedicated their free time to the production, he thrives in the beauty of community theatre.

As director, one of the things Baharoon has realized is that “when you have a vision of a character on a piece of paper and an actor portrays them differently, you learn to trust the process.”

SFU students can see the director’s debut come to life on stage near the end of the month, as The Examination is presented to the SFU community free of charge.

is hard to guess where the story will go from page to page.

Tied all together with breathtaking artwork and a richly diverse cast of characters spanning the globe, Trees is an alien invasion story finally worth rooting for.

20

SPORTS

March 23, 2015

sports editor email

Austin Cozicar sports@the-peak.ca

One reason golf is such a challenging sport is the emphasis on the mental game. Although the physical fundamentals are certainly important — and a challenge in their own right — the most important aspect of golf is keeping your head in the game: not getting too flustered when you hit a bad shot and not getting ahead of yourself when you’re shooting well.

This is something freshman Michelle Waters knows all too well.

“It’s really about what’s going on between your ears,” she notes.

“Unlike high-impact sports like basketball or soccer, you can’t lash out when you’re on the golf course, and my biggest challenge is getting too up or down on myself. I’ve learned to maintain a level head,” Michelle says. “My dad used to say to me that ‘if you hate golf, golf hates you’. That is something that has always stuck with me.”

Michelle is quickly becoming one of the Clan’s top golfers in

the program this season. But she can still recall a time when she’d rather be at the driving range than the course.

“I didn’t enjoy tournaments in the beginning,” she laughs. “I was terrible when I started, and wanted to get better.”

Early success in the sport inspired Michelle to take an interest in golf that she had never had with any other sport. ”Golf was the first sport [where] I applied myself, and by my third tournament I broke 80 for the first time. The opportunity for success in a women’s sport was better in golf than basketball and soccer for me.”

It didn’t hurt that Michelle landed a job at a golf course via a family connection at 14 — a job that allowed her to golf for free.

“A year later, I was playing competitively,” she notes.

Hailing from Qualicum Beach, a small town on Vancouver Island, Michelle’s early success with at SFU speaks volumes

to her ability to adapt, as she moved out on her own for the first time. Though home isn’t too far away, she does admit that it can be difficult: “Being away from home is tough. The combination of living on your own and new sense of freedom are new to me.”

Michelle is proud of her adjustment to SFU, and her desire to achieve a high level of success in every facet of her life has fueled her ambitious goals for the future.

“My goal this year is to travel to all the tournaments, while averaging a score of 78, all while balancing my schedule at SFU,” she explains without hesitation.

“I want to see the SFU women’s golf team become more of a force, make a name for myself, and ultimately have a lasting impact legacy on the program.

“If it works out, I would like to maybe take a shot at professional golf. It’s not set in stone, but for me to get there I [need to] play scratch golf.”

If Michelle can break 80 by her third tournament,

becoming a scratch golfer is definitely something achievable.

Joining two other freshmen on the team, Michelle is part of a young nucleus who plan on taking the women’s golf team to the next level. In the recent Vikes Shootout in Victoria, it was the freshmen that led the team to a third place finish. Michelle also led the team at the Pioneer Shootout in California to a 10th place finish, with a team-low

round of 77 for a two-day stroke total of 158.

Michelle acknowledges that the nerves never quite go away — she just has to play through them.

“Usually before a tournament I’m a little anxious, and I’ll try to calm myself down my hitting shots on the range and whatnot. But it doesn’t really go away until after the first swing of the day that counts towards the score,” Michelle admits.

“There’s no real method to the madness, I just have to remind myself that every shot counts and to keep calm, because there’s no redos in golf.

From that point on, I just try to take everything in stride.”

SPORTS

March 23, 2015

21

Former SFU men’s soccer head coach Alan Koch and last year’s Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC) player of the year Jovan Blagojevic have returned to Burnaby Mountain to face off against their former team last Thursday, March 19.

Koch, who left the program to head the Whitecaps’ USL PRO affiliate in Ja n u a r y, and Bl a g ojevic, who was drafted by the Whitecaps and subsequently signed by the affiliate, helped the Whitecaps FC 2 win 5–1 against the SFU men’s team last Thursday at Terry Fox Field.

“It was nice seeing them — before the game I said hi to them,” Blagojevic reflected on playing against his former teammates. “But on the field it was definitely business, it wasn’t very friendly.”

Despite the final score, SFU had a great start, controlling the play for much of the first half with solid defence. Clan forward Justus Hogback opened the scoring, giving SFU an early 1–0 lead.

“It’s all players I used to coach, it’s pretty new — you don’t get that opportunity often,” said Koch. “It’s nice to see [SFU] play, they worked very hard, they deserved to score, they deserved to be up for a while.”

However, the Whitecaps FC 2 slowly took control of the game.

Striker Mackenzie Pridham scored his first of the day to tie up the game — he would end up with four of the team’s five goals.

Goals two and three for the FC 2 sealed the deal, with the second coming right before halftime and the third scored immediately after halftime, both by Pridham.

“I’m happy we came and clawed our way back and won the game, otherwise I’d be pretty disappointed with my Whitecaps group, but it was a fun experience,” Koch said with a laugh.

New SFU men’s head coach Clint Schneider, who spent seven seasons on Koch’s coaching staff, was proud of his team’s effort.

“I’m proud of the way the guys played. [. . .] We played the right way, and the results don’t really matter at this point in the apring, it’s the performance that matters,” he said.

“We could sit in — it’s a better team — and play it that way [but] I’m not a believer in that. I want our guys to try to do

things they would do in the fall: go out and play, and try and do the right things in a match.

If you do that against a good team, and you make mistakes, you get punished for it — that was what happened today.”

Blagojevic, who donned number 47 for the Whitecaps FC 2, however, went goalless,

citing the stress of playing against his former team.

“It was weird, I couldn’t really relax today for some reason. It felt like [there was] extra pressure on myself with playing [against] SFU,” he said. “It was weird, I kept feeling like I should be on the other side, but that’s just how the world goes, it’s on to the next team.”

Guys, I’m tired of being discriminated against. They jeer, they taunt, they look at me like I’m some sub-human. But I’m not. I’m a real person with real feelings who’s fed up with being victimized and singled out just because I’m a bandwagon sports fan.

Sports fans like to look down on the bandwagoners: the fans who become fans only once a team gets really good — or, in my case, a fan who jumps teams because of one superstar player.

My bandwagon? LeBron James.

I love basketball. In fact, I was utterly convinced at the age of nine that despite my 5’6” father’s stature, I would become the greatest point guard that ever lived. Legend says that back in the days of jousting contests, damsels-in-distress and cowboy duels, a team by the name of the Grizzlies used to play for Vancouver. Alas, they were long gone by the time I came of age.

So, instead of rooting for my home city, I began to root for a

boy from Akron, Ohio who had just finished high school and was ready to take on the world. I liked him. I liked his story. I liked his mentality and I liked his v u l n e ra b i l i t y.

So after seeing him play his first game in 2003, I decided that wherever LeBron played, I would cheer.

Is that so wrong?

I was desperate to feel that deep connection and passion to the game that true NBA fanatics felt. But with no hometown to

cheer for and no roots in any other city, I chose a player to support.

Not as callous and cold a decision as you thought, eh?

In fact, I’d argue that my bandwagoning ways are in some ways more legitimate than others’ decision to support a particular team. After all, players have personality. You grow to understand them, hate them, love them, and genuinely care about them. You stick by their side through thick and thin, and defend their honour in the

face of relentless criticism, and that takes loyalty.

Teams? Well, teams change.

Coaches get fired. Players get traded. The only constant are the superficial mascots and jersey colours, and even those change occasionally.

My buddy is a Kobe Bryant fan, and he also happens to be an asshole. (I’m not surprised.) But we share one thing in common.

The other day, he told me how scared he was that Kobe would retire — that a part of his childhood will vanish, along with his love for the game.

That doesn’t sound like a superficial connection to me. That sounds human.

22 SPORTS

March 23, 2015

SFU has ended its regular season with a pair of losses on Friday and Saturday to the Selkirk College Saints at the British Columbia Intercollegiate Hockey League (BCIHL) finals. The losses provided the Saints with their third straight BCIHL championship, and third straight sweep for the title.

The Clan entered the series with a 3–2 regular season record against the Saints.

“It was one of those situations where we were a little bit over anxious,” said SFU head coach Mark Coletta. “We had a handful of guys who played good, and then a handful of guys who just played uptight, and a little bit too nervous.”

The Clan were downed in the first game by a hat trick by Selkirk forward Ryan Edwards, who led the BCIHL playoffs in goals with six. SFU lost 3–1, despite what coach Coletta described as SFU’s most dominant stretch of hockey over the weekend in the third period. However, the Clan were badly outshot 33–15. Forward Graham Smerek had SFU’s lone goal.

SFU went into Saturday’s game hoping to extend their playoff series to three.

Just under two minutes into the game, SFU defenceman Jesse Williamson took a high-sticking penalty. The penalty was just about killed when, with one second left

on the powerplay, Selkirk forward Thomas Hardy opened up scoring to give the Saints the early lead.

Although that was the end of the scoring in the first period, it was not the end of SFU’s woes. Forward Michael Sandor was assessed a tenminute misconduct penalty for a hit to the head.

Though he came back without incident when his 10 minutes were up, defenceman Tyler Mah was ejected from the game just a few minutes later for a hit from behind — a significant loss for the team’s blueline.

A point shot by defenceman Jared Eng tied the game for SFU. The team would control much of the second period’s play as

An injured Clan lacrosse team executed a huge fourth quarter rally to top longtime conference rival University of Washington Huskies 13–8 on Terry Fox Field. The win brings the Clan to 4–0 in the conference and 6–4 on the season.

The team was missing attacker Lyndon Knuttila, who is tied for second on the team for goal scoring, as well as defencemen Alex

Thomson, Cameron Chisholm, and FOS James Irwin. Attacker Tyler Kirkby, who led the entire Men’s Collegiate Lacrosse Association in goals last season with 65, and defenceman Michael Vandenbossche are also out for the season, having not played a single game.

Senior midfielder Sam Clare opened the game’s scoring in the first minute with a beautiful cut across the top and a hard outside shot to give the Clan the early lead — his first of two.

The Clan finished the quarter up 3–1.

The team struggled for the next two quarters; they scored no goals in the second and were outscored

4–3 in the third. SFU headed into the final frame tied at six.

With one quarter left, a fire seemed to be lit somewhere in the tired Clan squad, going on a seven-goal tear while only giving up two to end the game with a final score of 13–8.

“After jumping out to an early lead, our effort stalled a bit in the second and third quarters, but we were able to get back on track and close out the game down the stretch,” said head coach Brent Hoskins.

“This was an important win to lock up a playoff spot and

well, outshooting Selkirk 12–10 in the period.

Two goals 30 seconds apart by the Saints near the end of the period proved a crushing blow to the Clan, and as it turned out that was all Selkirk needed to win. End of second, 3–1.

SFU pulled their goalie at the end of the third to try and claw their way back into the game, but the result was an empty netter for Selkirk.

With 20 seconds left, SFU forward and first-round hero Adam Callegari, who ended the playoffs with four goals, managed another goal for the team.

But by then, it was too late — Selkirk were crowned the BCIHL champions with a 4–2 victory.

With the victory, Selkirk College became the first team in BCIHL history to win three straight championships, and are now tied with SFU and the University of Victoria for the most BCIHL championships at three.

“Overall, you can look at it as an average season for us,” coach Coletta reflected. “Your expectations are winning a championship, and if you don’t win, it’s a failure in my opinion.

“We’ve got to regroup and figure out how we win that championship.”

The 4–2 loss marked the final game in an SFU jersey for Mah, Eng, Jono Ceci, Taylor Piller, Trent Murdoch, and goalie Andrew Parent.

“Our seniors did a great job for the past four years, [but they] just couldn’t get over that

hump for whatever reason,” noted Coletta.

However, he remains optimistic about the team’s future.

“I think we’ve got a good core of young guys coming back, we have a great recruiting class coming in, so I think there’s some big, big things coming up in the future, especially next year.”

prepare for another challenging stretch on the back half of our schedule.”

Leading the way for the Clan was freshman attacker Greg Lunde with three goals and two assists.

into the third spot in the conference and ninth in the league for scoring, and Lunde (19G, 16A) moves into the fourth spot in the conference and 11th in the country.

The Clan now enters the second half of their season, with a weekend off before traveling to Oregon to take on Caly Poly and conference archrival Oregon, then to Utah to take on Brigham Young University and the University of Utah. They finish off the season at home taking on conference favourite Oregon State and Montana before the Pacific Northwest Collegiate Lacrosse League playoffs at the beginning of May.

Sophomore Jeremy Lashar stood between the pipes for the full 60 minutes, stopping 12 of 20 shots for a save percentage of .600. Clare (26G, 10A) moves

SPORTS

March 23, 2015

23

SPORTS BRIEFS w

w SFU is currently ranked seventh-best school of 198 in the Division II Learfield Sports Directors’ Cup. The event ranks universities for overall athletic success via points awarded for NCAA championship finishes.

SFU currently has 348 points, 30 points behind sixth place and 312 points behind Division II leaders Grand Valley State.

In the previous two years that SFU was eligible, they placed 36th and 32nd. The final results will be released April 2.

Eight Clan football players are headed to the CFL Combines this week: wide receiver Lemar Durant, running back/ defensive back Chris Tolbert, wide receiver Bobby Pospischil, defensive back Matt Isherwood, wide receiver Kyle Kawamoto, defensive lineman Kristian Lawrence, running back Cole Tudor, and wide receiver Bibake Uppal. Durant and Isherwood are headed directly to the national combines in Toronto, while the other six are headed to the regional combine in Edmonton, AB on Monday where they will vie for a spot at the national combine.

Prior to the meet, head swimming coach Liam Donnelly made his intentions clear on finishing with a higher standing.

“Last year, with five women, we placed top 20, and when we left the meet we committed to finish top 10 this year,” Donnelly told SFU

Athletics. “Our freshmen coming in have bought into the challenge.”

Although the team narrowly missed the top 10, they did make a splash with their firstever male competitor.

Freshman Adrian VanderHelm blazed a trail for the Clan’s future male athletes, earning a second-place finish in the 200-yard freestyle. The Barrie, ON native, who was the first male swimmer from SFU to qualify for the national championship, became the Clan’s first All-American male swimmer. VanderHelm continued to challenge the odds and took eighth place in the 100-yard freestyle on the final day of the championships.

Four out of the nine women sent to compete for SFU were seniors, and took the stage in Indianapolis for what would be their final meet for the Clan. Swimmer Carmen Nam turned in her personal best time on the 200-yard butterfly.

Nam’s record time helped gain a berth into the “A” finals and bolster the team’s progress with a seventhplace finish.

It was a stellar showing for the Clan in Birmingham, Alabama, where the team achieved a top 10 finish at an indoor event for the first time.

Over Friday and Saturday, the team tallied a total of 24 points, 18 of them coming from women’s events.

Once again, SFU’s most impressive athlete was senior Lindsey Butterworth, who obtained her individual title in the 800-metre event in Saturday’s finals. On Friday, Butterworth

anchored the distance meter relay finals and made up enough ground on her opponents to grab second place along with Jennifer Johnson, Chantel Desch, and Paige Nock.

With a total time of 11:28.28, the women set a new school record and also broke the Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC) record set by Seattle Pacific University in 2010.

Johnson became one of four women to make history in the 3000-metre event, breaking a 30-year-old record.

Her time of 9:26.82 puts her second in all-time GNAC history, and earned her a thirdplace finish.

The men’s team was not without its share of excitement,

SFU’s swim team made a strong statement during the NCAA Division II National Championships in Indianapolis, IN. From Wednesday, March 11 to Saturday, March 14, the Clan were tested against the NCAA’s finest, with the women’s team showing a marked improvement by tallying 110 points and a 12th-place finish.

On Friday, March 13, SFU’s softball team split a doubleheader against the Western Oregon Wolves. The first game marked the Clan’s first Great Northwest Athletic Conference victory at 5–3, while they narrowly lost the second game 6–5. “We stole one and we blew one,” head coach Mike Renney told SFU Athletics. “A split on the road is always welcome but right now we are riding an emotional rollercoaster that comes with a young team.”

Over last Thursday and Friday, the women’s golf team competed at the Augustana Spring Fling in Palm Desert, CA. SFU finished a collective +114, earning ninth place.

Sophomore Erin Farner and freshman Breanna Coxen tied for the lowest score on the team with 169 strokes (+25), achieving 31st place.

Fellow senior Nicole Cossey made a strong push to follow up on her second place finish in the 100-yard freestyle event last year, but lost a place in the “A” finals by two hundredths of a second. In addition to her 14thplace finish, she helped sophomore Lauren Swistak, senior Alex Schofield, and freshman Maran Kokoszka place fifth in the 800-yard relay.

Schofield, Swistak, Cossey, and freshman Sidney Peake also teamed up for a 12th-place finish at the 400yard freestyle relay.

“Every one of the girls on the relay elevated their performance and found a little extra to give to the team — and we needed it,” said Donnelly.

The Clan hopes to carry on the momentum from their performance in the championship towards future challenges.

as Travis Vugteveen became SFU’s first male athlete to enter into the NCAA Division II finals for the 1500-metre event, eventually placing sixth.

Needless to say, the Clan made a tremendous impact, and head coach Brit Townsend

“To have a champion in Lindsey [Butterworth] as well, we really couldn’t have asked for any more with the small group we have.”

Townsend said that her team’s results were a reflection of previous results, and training that led to the indoor championships.

“They were focused from the very beginning on getting here and performing well. The [GNAC] conference championships were very successful for us as well,” she noted. “I think the team is gaining the confidence and starting to believe that they can compete at this level.”

One thing’s for sure: these endeavours by the Clan have started a trend of a setting the bar higher in each competition, and anticipation is high among the organization for what is yet to come.

felt that everyone involved has gone above and beyond the expectations.

“I’m really excited, everybody here ran personal bests or ran way higher than they were ranked,” Townsend told The Peak.

24 DIVERSIONS / ETC

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

March 23, 2015

HUMOUR

A self-described wizard and founder of the neopagan religious movement the Church of All Worlds, Oberon Zell-Ravenheart has been involved with neopaganism since its beginnings in the ‘60s. He is the editor of neopagan magazine Green Egg and is also headmaster of Grey School of Wizardry, a Hogwarts-style institution dedicated to training students in the magical arts.

Based out of Sonoma County in California, this fascinating institution has captured the hearts and minds of many interested in the topic of magic — or “magick,” as Zell-Ravenheart refers to it.

The Peak spoke to Zell-Ravenheart to learn more about how he became involved with magick and what people have to say about his school of wizardry.

Interview has been edited and condensed for print.

The Peak: For the magically uninformed, what is the essence of magick? What is its source? And how does one start to become a wizard or witch?

Zell-Ravenheart: In its essence, magick is probability control through non-material means.

humour editor email

March 23, 2015

Wizardry means wisdom, and wisdom can be summed up through considering the consequences.

The function of who we identify as a wizard is someone who knows something others don’t know and someone who is wise. A professor or philosopher is the most comparable thing to a wizard today.

P: When did you first develop an interest in the arcane

arts and begin on the path to becoming a wizard?

ZR: My interest has been lifelong and my first readings on the subject as a child were the Greek myths. This interested me in both theology and mythology and this led into an interest in fantasy. I noticed the recurrence of the wizard in these stories. I became further interested in superpowers

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Jacey Gibb humour@the-peak.ca

and psychic abilities. Professor Xavier from X-Men was my archetype when I founded the school.

P: Does one need to be a Neopagan to be a wizard, or is magick something that connects multiple different cultures and religions?

ZR: Magick is universal and you don’t need to be a pagan to be a wizard; a wizard is not like a priest.

The founders of all religions are all identified as great wizards and were referred to that way by many people. I am a pagan; that’s just my religion, but in the Grey School we have Christians, Jews, and Sufi Muslims.

P: What do you have to say to critics of the Grey School of Wizardry or the Church of All Worlds, who may see it as a commercial scheme or as an attempt to create some sort of reality out of what many consider to be fantasy?

ZR: We charge very little and we only charge for what we need.

Harry Potter makes more money than we do. The popularity of that series gives people a handle to understand what we are doing.

P: You’ve spent a fair amount of time searching for what are considered by many to be mythical creatures. What types of fantastic creatures have you encountered in your journeys as a wizard?

ZR: I was the one who rediscovered the lost secret of the unicorn.

I raised unicorns and exhibited them; they were real creatures in ancient times and we recreated them. We made a four-year

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exhibition license with the Ringling Brothers Circus to exhibit them.

We also went searching for mermaids in New Guinea. I do a column and blog every three months called Creature of the Month.

P: How often do you receive comparisons to Dumbledore and Gandalf? Of the two, which wizard do you prefer or feel much more of a connection to?

ZR: I get that comparison quite a lot. I get more connections with Dumbledore as a headmaster of a school of wizardry. For most of my life, I have identified with Gandalf.

P: Finally, what is a basic spell or magical ability you can teach me right now over Skype that I can do to gain a basis in magick?

ZR: The most universal spell everyone does at least once a year is the birthday wish, where you make a wish. Most of spellwork is making a wish through intention and you don’t want to screw up what you want to say. You want a spell for love, you want it on a Friday dedicated to Frigga the Goddess of Love. If you want a spell for gold, you light it on Monday and you state your intention and you burn the candle while meditating. These are the ways you activate a spell. It gets more elaborate as you bring in more associations.

26 HUMOUR

March 23, 2015

By Cody Klyne & Jacey Gibb Alright, Esteban.

Now show me the drugs?

Unicorn cop, come in.

YOU GET THE DRUGS?

Yo... THIS UNICORN’S A FUCKING COP!

Not so fast. First, you give me the money.

We need an extraction.

My partner's been hit!

You know what the difference is between you and me, Unicorn Cop?

Save your strength!

You always believed in me... *dies*

HUMOUR

March 23, 2015

and replace them with commentary on post-modern relationships, while Oscar-winner Eddie Redmayne and Emma Stone could do Eric and Ariel serious justice. Plus, if Stone is in it, people have to like it.

Mulan (directed by Quentin Tarantino) Earlier this month, Disney announced that Tim Burton had been tasked with bringing a live-action version of Dumbo to the silver screen. Perhaps even more surprising is how unsurprising the announcement is, given the continuous string of reboots audiences have been subjected to over the past decade.

With the release of Cate Blanchett’s live-action Cinderella this month and a liveaction version of Beauty and the Beast slated for next year, it would appear we’re entering the era of classic Disney films getting the real-life reboot.

Here are a few of our wishlist match-ups when it comes to directors helming live-action Disney movies.

Embarrassing encounters are a part of everyday life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t totally own these moments and come out on top. Here are four embarrassing situations and ways you can make the most out of them.

The name game A voice calls out to you while you’re waiting at the bus stop: “Hey, how’s it going?” Reality kicks in as you realize this person is addressing you. Crap. Your brain kicks into full-throttle as it struggles to produce a name for this inquiring soul. Finally, like a fightor-flight response system, you respond with “Hey youuuuuu . . . ”

The Fox and the Hound (directed by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg) Over the years, Seth Rogen and frequent collaborator Evan Goldberg have given us some of the most bromantic films around: Superbad, Pineapple Express, 50/50, This is the End. Given their impressive track record, it would only make sense for them to tackle the timeless film of starcrossed friends, The Fox and the Hound. Rogen and James Franco could co-star as the titular fox

and hound; throw in some jokes alluding to marijuana use and you’ve got a hit on your hands.

The Little Mermaid (directed by Woody Allen) Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wonder what The Little Mermaid would look like from the guy’s perspective?” Let’s recast Prince Eric as a precocious twentysomething and focus on the tribulations of having a romantic relationship with an attractive sea-based mammal. Take out the musical numbers

Some Disney stories were just meant to get the R-rated treatment.

Mulan has all the quintessential traits of a Quentin Tarantino classic, so he’s the ideal candidate to handle the reboot. Action scenes would become at least 150 per cent bloodier, and perhaps Samuel Jackson could take a stab at voicing everyone’s favourite wise-cracking dragon, Mushu.

The Sword in the Stone (directed by Christopher Nolan) No one helms a trilogy quite like Christopher Nolan. The man behind the acclaimed Batman Begins trilogy could add a darkness to The Sword of the Stone tale, and maybe even spin it into a King Arthur franchise. It’s got tortured protagonists, trials to face before becoming a hero, and plenty of older male characters

Too late — the vagueness and prolonged “u” make it obvious you don’t remember who they are.

Solution: Commit to the memory lapse and use amnesia as a scapegoat. Say the reason you don’t remember them is because you don’t remember who you are.

Use The Bourne Identity as a reference point and go from there — but try to avoid saying you’re a spy or anything like that.

The “ex” in text message It’s Friday and you and your pals are ready for a night out. Everything is perfect: your hair miraculously decided to cooperate; you’ve got some fresh threads.

Next thing you know, it’s 10 a.m. and your credit card is $100 closer to being maxed out. Through squinted eyes you scan your phone and realize you’ve sent “I miss you” messages to multiple exes. Reluctantly, you look at your call history and notice the last outgoing call lasted 41 minutes.

Who knew you and your ex had so

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for Michael Caine to play. It’s a match made in reboot heaven.

The Aristocats (directed by Wes Anderson) As if a film about jazz-loving felines wasn’t quirky enough, Wes Anderson could bring the concept into a modern setting by replacing jazz with contemporary indie music. Stop-motion animation similar to 2009’s Fantastic Mr. Fox would help maintain The Aristocats’ surreal nature, and Anderson regulars like Tilda Swinton and Bill Murray could voice the romantic leads of Duchess and O’Malley.

Mary Poppins (directed by Michael Bay) Sure, why the hell not? It doesn’t matter what iconic story you charge Bay with, he’s going to steer that ship into the nearest iceberg and make it a disaster. Cast Megan Fox in the title role and see which way Bay’s signature creative direction takes things. (Maybe the children will be reimagined as swordwielding robots and it’ll be Fox’s job to end the cybertronic war before the children’s parents get home from work?)

These aren’t your classmates, and this isn’t your lecture.

Solution: Just kick it until the break or even until the very end of class. All your stuff’s set up anyways and you already disrupted the class once by coming in late. What’s the worst that can happen? You learn something new?

much to talk about at three in the morning?

Solution: Break your phone and refrain from buying a new one indefinitely. You can’t drunk dial an ex if you don’t have something to call them with and the money you save from your cell phone bill can be allocated to next weekend’s tequila budget.

Staying at the party after being tardy You’re running down the indistinguishable halls of the AQ, already 10 minutes later for your next lecture. After making sure the door closes quietly behind you, you take a seat near the back of the lecture hall and set up your notes and laptop before noticing something: none of these people look familiar.

Self-ie reflections You’ve just walked into a washroom at school and you realize the lighting inside is too perfect to not use for a quick before-class selfie.

Phone out, camera on, you’re close to hitting that two-arm bicep pose or that optimal cleavage shot when, to your horror, someone walks into the bathroom. You lock eyes with each other and wait for someone to make the first move.

Solution: Trick question.

This isn’t an awkward situation, because nothing is embarrassing when you come out of it with a picture-perfect selfie.

Post it and love it.

28 LAST WORD

features editor email

Brad McLeod features@the-peak.ca

March 23, 2015