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FIRST PEEK

weekends editing copy and laying out pages, who stalked SFSS board members and university administrators around campus to get the perfect quote, who slept on lumpy couches next to day-old pizza boxes and knocked back beers while toiling over keyboards and typewriters.

Birthdays have always seemed a little strange to me. There’s very little you have to do other than a) survive and b) show up to earn a celebration every year, and The Peak is no different.

We’ve finally hit the big ‘fiveoh,’ and much like the university that we cover, we’re anything but shy about celebrating it — even if the paper didn’t really do much other than stick around for a half-century.

Don’t get me wrong. I love this paper with every fibre of my body, and I think that we deserve to pat ourselves on the back every once in awhile. But with the space I’ve been given in this issue, I want to do something other than rehash the platitudes reserved for anniversary celebrations and retrospectives. Instead, I want to pay homage to the people who’ve made The Peak what it is and what it has been over the past 50 years, good and bad.

These are the students who spent their evenings and

Our archive, whose shadow looms large even today over our cramped meeting spaces, is a living testament to the thousands upon thousands of hours that students have poured into these pages. Not all of it is good, but not all of it is trash, either.

Like any other student newspaper, The Peak is hit or miss. But when it hits, it really hits.

Still, celebrating 50 years in publication shouldn’t mean that it’s time to bury the paper, or to consign its glory days to a dusty history book. Even today, our offices are full of clever, talented students working 12hour days to put this paper together for the students, staff, and faculty of this school, because it’s what they love to do.

I can relate. Three years into

October 5, 2015

my time here, I can tell you that the feeling of looking at a fresh stack of papers Monday morning never really loses its lustre.

Our little paper may be pushing middle age, but we’re still young at heart.

Whenever new writers or incoming editors come to me asking for advice, I always tell them the same thing: don’t worry, because all of us here are just making it up as we go along.

Halfway through my tenure as Editor-in-Chief of The Peak, I’ve never been more sure of this. But I’ve also never been prouder to offer students a place to learn and to practice their craft, to make mistakes and to celebrate successes, to both learn more about their community and become far too cynical to ever look at it the same way.

In 1965, when the student body at SFU was roughly the size of your first-year psychology lecture, this paper gave students an opportunity to both be heard and to make others heard. Fifty years from now, when our satellite campuses double and our tuition fees quintuple, I hope that we are still a symbol of the power and potential of the remarkable students at this school.

At its heart, The Peak is here to give you a voice. So speak up.

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NEWS

October 5, 2015

are quite familiar. However, this app is unique from its predecessor in that it is official — meaning it comes directly from SFU. The university says that this offers a certain security, as you don’t have to worry about any third-party apps stealing your SFU ID. The app also allows students to give feedback or suggestions to the school or the creators of the app as they continue to develop and finetune it. This app is not yet available for Android users.

Who doesn’t love hearing the phrase, “There’s an app for that”?

Shopping? There’s an app for that.

Travel? There’s an app for that.

School? There’s an app for that. Actually, there are several. Let’s take a look at some of the up-and-coming apps that are being made for university students, and even SFU students specifically.

Official SFU App If you keep on top of school emails, you have probably noticed the emails about an official SFU app that has recently been released. The project began this spring through an app-developing competition for a CMPT 275 term project, and has grown into a fully-fledged app.

The app aims to provide the practical information that students may want to have at their fingertips.

Some features provided include bus information, maps that allow you to search for rooms, and information about places to eat on campus.

You can also view computer availability, and it keeps track of your class schedule and provides course details. If you have already been using any student apps, you may find that a lot of these features

Know School Know School is another app that provides many similar features to the official SFU app. Know School provides a daily class schedule and campus information for all three campuses, including includes weather, computer availability, and more.

It uses your SFU login to provide direct access to your schedule, as well as secured services like SFU Connect and Canvas. It also allows you to view which other students share classes with you, and many other features that the SFU Official app covers. Unlike the official app, Know School is available to both iOS and Android users.

SFU Ingresso A similar app designed by SFU students is SFU Ingresso. This app integrates directly with your Student Information System account, SFU Connect, and Canvas.

However, this app has a different focus that becomes clear as soon as you see the homepage.

SFU Ingresso posts SFU-related news stories and keeps you posted on upcoming events. This all aims

news editor email

Melissa Roach news@the-peak.ca

to provide what Project Manager Ahmed Medhioub describes as “a platform for the people of SFU to find the content relevant to their university and community.”

If you are looking to keep up with school news, events, and get quick access to your SFU accounts, then this app might be worth checking out.

There is another branch of student apps becoming popular — apps which focus more on the social aspect of student life.

Yero Yero is an app for iOS designed by two SFU alumni and one graduate from UBC. One of the creators, SFU alumnus Matthew Greig, described the purpose of the app: to “create private networks around real-world locations (college campuses, sports stadiums, nightlife venues and music festivals) to let users inside connect with people sharing the same experience.”

Yero is a location-based app. What this means is that when you are in a specific places, such as on campus, you will be able to see other users in the area. The app also allows you to contact people directly and spark up a conversation. Any connections made will be erased the next day, making Yero “about tonight.”

Loopr Loopr is an app that was also created by SFU alumni. The creators wanted to develop an app to connect students, so they approached a social media startup called Skynation, which was co-founded by Kayode Fatoba, the first VP Student Life of the Simon Fraser Student Society.

associate news editor

Jamal Dumas

This app is similar to others, such as Yero, in that the users make posts assigned to different groups based on their location. However, users can also tag their posts with a hashtag, which can then be searched to make it easy to find the content you’re looking for.

Fatoba described Loopr as “a location-based social network [that] provides its users with the benefit of being a source for current upto-the-minute news about what’s going on around them.” Loopr developers are currently preparing to expand to a city-wide launch.

Chitter An app in the same vein of location-based posts is Chitter. This app has really started to take off recently, and is currently only available for three different universities.

It was created by students at the University of Alberta, who decided to make SFU one of the other two universities with access. This app allows users to make anonymous “chits,” which are just simple text posts that can then be up- or downvoted by other students.

Students can also comment on posts, but the catch is that comments are not anonymous; this app requires a Facebook login. There are also groups to which chits can be posted, such as “Advice for New Students.”

Chitter was inspired by the everpopular “Confessions” Facebook groups that many universities have, which allow people to submit posts that will be shared by the page anonymously. A visiting Chitter developer made a splash at SFU by streaking through the hallways of the Academic Quadrangle shortly after the start of the Fall semester.

NEWS

October 5, 2015

and several other engineers from SFU and Dr. Darcy were all in a room thinking about what the next step towards Trevor’s rehab [was] and how we get him to his goal of being able to walk.”

The idea for the exoskeleton suit, which was paid for by fundraising through the Canadian Legion’s poppy sales, came from Greene’s wife, Debbie.

Captain Trevor Greene, after being severely injured in Afghanistan, has regained hope of walking with the help of Carolyn Sparrey, SFU assistant professor of mechatronic systems engineering, and a sophisticated exoskeleton technology.

Greene was on tour in Afghanistan in 2006 when he suffered an axe attack from a teenage boy; the axe was buried five cm into his brain. While he survived his life threatening injuries, he lost the ability to walk.

The captain had been working with Ryan Darcy, professor of neuroscience at SFU, for nearly five years during which Darcy used MRIs to monitor his recovery.

About a year ago, Greene was introduced to Sparrey. Said Sparrey, “We had a brainstorming session essentially where myself

recommended since it is usually reserved for spinal cord injuries and not brain injuries: “With Trevor, because of the axe being very localized to one very specific part of his brain, [. . .] it only took out primarily the motor areas of his brain.”

Greene is the first patient with a brain injury to use the exoskeleton for rehabilitation. The hope is that the suit helps take advantage of his brain’s capacity for neuroplasticity. Sparrey elaborated, “Everybody’s brain is always rewiring and making new connections. [. . .]

Carolyn Sparrey, And so what we’re SFU assistant professor hoping with this system is [that] by of mechatronic systems engineering doing an action, by pushing his body According to Sparrey, an through an action, it’s just triggerexoskeleton is “essentially an ing the pathways to rehabilitate assistive device for walking.” It the brain and redrive those concontains a pelvic band to attach nections back to the brain.” at the waist and a metal frame The team of SFU researchthat extends the length of the ers and engineers working with leg and attaches at the feet. The Greene intends to use MRIs (funcframe is rigid on the outside, but tional magnetic resonance imagcontains motors at the hip and ing) and MEG (magnetoencephajoints to “drive the movement of lography) to monitor whether his walking,” as Sparrey outlined. neural links are being established.

Sparrey explained that an They are going a step further exoskeleton was not originally and also looking at his overall

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“We really aren’t putting a limit on how much recovery we think he can get.”

health metrics, such as blood pressure and digestion, to keep an eye on his overall quality of life. Sparrey added, “We’re also looking at his functional gains [. . .] not just in terms of walking, but in terms of things like being able to sit upright, and core strength, reaching strength, flexibility.”

What are Greene’s wishes for his recovery? He hopes to one day climb to the base of Mt. Everest by himself. Sparrey

noted that it is difficult to determine a prognosis.

“Trevor, at every step, has exceeded anything that anyone expected of him,” Sparrey said.

“And because it’s a new technology and it hasn’t been applied to Trevor’s kind of injury before, we really aren’t putting a limit on how much recovery we think he can get. So, if he wants to drive that hard and has that target, I would not put a limit of whether or not he can get there.”

As with any student publication, current events are the bread and butter of The Peak. These pages have always been a lightning rod for hot takes from students who are eager to flap their fledgling ideological wings, certain that they’re unearthing hidden gems of insight into what’s happening in the world. Here’s a look at some headlines past students probably “unpacked” since the first issue was printed.

1965 — U.S. troops arrive in Vietnam Though the conflict had been escalating over the course of several years prior, in 1965 the U.S. stepped up armed conflict. The move came in response to flailing South Vietnamese troops in the face of an aggressive Viet Cong. By the end of the year, there would be nearly 200,000 American troops in Vietnam. It would be a decade before the war ended.

1975 — Beaver becomes official symbol of Canada

1985 — Gorbachev becomes leader of Soviet Union

Associated with the fur trade since even before Canada’s first European settlers, the beaver finally got its due in 1975.

On March 24, 1975, an act to “provide for the recognition of the beaver (castor canadensis) as a symbol of the sovereignty of Canada” received royal assent.

The eighth and last leader of the Soviet Union took the de facto leadership position on March 11 of this year. His reform policies of glasnost and perestroika (openness and restructuring, respectively) would play a large part in bringing an end to the Cold War. In November of 1985, he met with U.S. President Ronald Reagan. The two agreed to engage in arms control talks with a goal towards nuclear disarmament.

1995 — The first Americans are welcomed aboard the Russian space station Mir On March 16, Dr. Norman Thagard of NASA was “greeted with a kiss on the cheek and bear hugs” by Russian counterparts, The New York Times reported.

The interstellar scientists would spend the following three months together, conducting experiments aboard the space station.

2005 — Islamic terrorists hit London In what is considered the worst attack the city had sustained since World War II, London became the target of Islamic terrorists.

Reportedly, 52 were killed and about 700 injured in the July 7 bombing of the public transportation system, including three in the underground subway and one on a city bus.

2015 — Syrian migrant problem turns to crisis The release of a photograph of a dead toddler in September served to incite a media frenzy into what has been described one of the worst refugee crises since World War II. A brutal ISIS regime encroaching on their homeland is now prompting many Syrians to relocate to the West. Many lives have been lost in a desperate attempt to cross the Mediterranean Sea.

David Dyck, a mere shadow of the man he was during his time at The Peak, is now living a desperate existence as the editor of the Merritt Herald in BC’s Interior.

6 NEWS

Students at SFU Burnaby had the chance to see the candidates in their riding confront each other during the Burnaby North-Seymour All Candidates Debate, hosted by the Simon Fraser Student Society in the Saywell Atrium on Thursday, Oct. 1.

Carol Baird Ellan of the New Democratic Party, Terry Beech of the Liberal Party of Canada, Brian Sproule of the Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada, and Lynne Quarmby of the Green Party of Canada met to debate against each other and potentially win the support of voters in their riding.

The candidates were asked to comment on Aboriginal issues, gender equality, electoral reform, education, and the environment. Mike Little, candidate for The Conservative Party of Canada, declined to participate in the debate.

The event was held in order to engage young voters, who make up a demographic with traditionally low voter turnout. In the 2011

SFU administration the Teaching Support Staff Union (TSSU) have returned to the bargaining table after union members voted to refuse SFU’s package deal, with over 86 per cent opposed.

In a bargaining update from the TSSU, there was mention of

October 5, 2015

“It’s a minority! Who gets to govern?” is a panel to be held at SFU’s Segal Centre campus (room 1420) on Oct. 7 at 5:30 p.m. that will explore the intricacies of a minority government.

Expert panelists include SFU professor of political science Andrew Heard, along with other local academics and former attorney general of BC Geoff Plant.

federal election, Elections Canada reported that just 39 per cent of Canadians between the ages of 18 and 24 voted — the lowest of any age group.

Although they disagreed on a wide variety of things, the candidates present all expressed their distaste for the current Conservative government, citing bill C-51 and the growing power of the Prime Minister’s Office. Quarmby went as far as to say, “Prime Minister Harper is essentially an elected dictator.”

However, the politics of how to defeat the Conservative party were contested. In response to Canada’s “first past the post” electoral system, strategically voting has come up in recent discussions of the upcoming election.

a potential lockout by SFU Administration, as the TSSU claimed that the university threatened to lock out members following the “no” vote to the deal.

SFU could not be reached for comment before press time to respond to this claim.

Last week, both parties discussed a recommendation made by mediator Vince Ready to enter into “binding arbitration.”

This would involve committing to 21 consecutive days of bargaining, at the end of which, “If [. . .] there are any unresolved issues, those issues shall be referred to Final Offer Selection (FOS) arbitration for a final and binding decision.” Ready

Quarmby pushed against the idea of people voting for more popular alternatives to the current government than the Green Party. She expressed, “You’re going to hear that I should come back in four years when we have proportional representation. No. I’m here now, the climate can’t wait. We need change now.”

Ellan referenced the issue multiple times, at one point saying, “We’re stuck with [first past the post]. It means that if the vote is split, the conservatives win the riding.”

A short time after the debate, when the crowds had dissipated and the audience had time to meet with the candidates, The Peak caught up with moderator and SFU student Aleksandra Panić to get her perspective on the proceedings.

When discussing overall themes of the debate, Pani ć said that the candidates had to “respond to the idea of funding big plans.” Beech spoke to the

has offered to act as the thirdparty FOS arbitrator.

After the arbitrator makes a decision, all job action would cease immediately and a new Collective Agreement would be put into place.

SFU stated, “After Mr. Ready had made his recommendation, the University sought to confirm the TSSU’s agreement and commitment to the Final Offer Selection process, but they declined to agree.”

The TSSU published an online update that outlined various problems they have with the FOS process as it has been proposed by the university, stating “SFU Administration

merits of the Liberal’s platform and experts who support it, asking the audience to google “What do economists think about the Liberal Party plan?”, while Ellan accused the Liberal Party of having a track record for breaking promises.

Panić also offered that while some might perceive the push for strategic voting as a form of “fear mongering,” she pointed out that no candidate had dismissed it as an illegitimate strategy.

At multiple points throughout the debate, each candidate urged the audience to vote on October 19, stressing that this election is pivotal.

Ellan said, “This could be the most important election in the history of this country.” with Quarmby in agreement. Sproule also encouraged young people to become active in the election: “Democracy will come into being when the people empower themselves.”

has developed their own proposed process for binding arbitration which is in complete disagreement with the Vince Ready proposal.”

One concern the union expressed is that SFU would be able to appeal to overturn the arbitrator’s final decision, leading them to use the term “unbinding arbitration” to describe the administration’s proposal.

The TSSU will hold a meeting for its members to discuss the proposal on the morning of Tuesday, Oct. 6. The union’s membership will need to put it to a vote to decide whether or not to accept the university’s proposal and enter into binding arbitration.

A panel of experts will discuss Canadian political issues surrounding conflict and national security at the event, “The Canadian Election and the Politics of Fear.” The discussion will take place on Oct. 6 at 7 p.m. in Harbour Centre, room 7000.

The panelists will “critically examine different aspects of Harper’s deliberate attempt to mobilize the electorate on the basis of division, conflict, and the politics of fear.”

The “Central City Student Community Engagement Competition” will take place on Oct. 7 at SFU Surrey at 5:00 p.m.

Thousands of dollars’ worth of prize money will be awarded to contestants that come up with ideas to best engage the Surrey community. Each submission will be assessed on their “innovation and uniqueness, and its community, commercial, and socioeconomic significance.”

NEWS

October 5, 2015

so when it’s at its closest it will be about 10 per cent bigger than its average size when it’s farther away. But judging a 10 per cent difference objectively is almost next to impossible, because how often do you look at a full moon and try to remember what it looked like the time before?”

Students and members of the community gathered at the Trottier Observatory for a Star Party on SFU’s Burnaby campus on September 27 to watch the supermoon and eclipse.

Starry Nights events are put on by the observatory and its volunteers once or twice a month, and are open to the public. Although the event was originally intended to be held during National Science Week on the Friday prior, it was moved when organizers realized there would be an eclipse.

“I’m on a bit of a mission against the supermoon,” Howard Trottier, SFU Professor, laughed. “It’s true, the moon’s orbit is a little bit of an oval,

The moon also looks larger because of the way light bends through the atmosphere every time it rises. Trottier emphasized that it will look big every time you see a full moon.

Trottier added, “It rubs me the wrong way because you don’t need to dress up a lunar eclipse. It is beautiful for its own reason.”

The eclipse was indeed beautiful, and dozens of people showed up, including

whole families. Some chose to stay by the observatory and its equipment, while others opted to bring their own and set up next to the observatory or in the parking lot. For those who arrived early, the observatory was set up to view Saturn.

Trottier promised there will be plenty of other Starry Nights this fall and added that if you like waking up early, October is a great month for star and planet viewing.

“You can see Jupiter, Mars, and Mercury next month. Mercury is very hard to see because it never gets far away from the sun.

“On October 15, if you wake up before the sun rises, it will be in the perfect position to see,” he added.

The next eclipse will be in January 2017 and the next supermoon eclipse will be in January 2033. Starry Nights at the observatory will be announced a week prior due to the need for good weather, but the next event is planned for sometime in October.

A new study published by SFU researchers suggests that women who are living with HIV may be more likely to develop cancer.

Published in HIV Medicine, the study shows that compared to the general population, women who have contracted HIV are more at risk to develop certain cancers. This is despite the introduction of modern highly-active antiretroviral therapy that reduces the risk of many AIDS-related cancers.

Kate Salters, a sessional instructor in the Faculty of Health Sciences, works at the BC Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS. Salters is a PhD student and her supervisor, Bob Hogg, is the lead author of the paper.

According to her, the heightened risk of cancer among women living with HIV could be due to the increased risk of other viral infections.

Said Salters, “This is one of the first studies to focus exclusively on females living with HIV

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and cancer. We know that sex and gender directly and indirectly influence health and disease.

“We were particularly interested in women-specific cancer risk, especially considering the incidence of female-specific cancers such as cervical cancer.”

The study stresses the importance for these women to have ongoing support — such as HIV care and cancer screening processes — that is tailored to women in particular.

Currently, HIV positive women with cancer have close to a 50 per cent mortality rate; that number drops to less than 20 per cent for those without cancer.

“The reality of living with HIV is changing and people are living longer, healthier lives than ever before with sustained treatment options,” Salters explained.

She continued, “How we treat, engage, and work with individuals living with HIV, especially women in this context, needs to reflect that reality.

Looking at the complete picture of women’s health is essential to this — and that often extends beyond just the biology of HIV.” Going forward, Salters suggested they would be looking at effect of the immune system being suppressed long-term (a symptom of HIV/AIDS) on cancer risk among women living with HIV, with the aim of determining what clinical interventions can help with that.

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE PEAK’S 2015 ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING! WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 14 — 1:30 — MBC 2294 FREE FOOD AND DRINK AVAILABLE! WIN ONE OF 10 PNE FRIGHT NIGHT TICKETS!

AGENDA: 1. Call to Order 2. Approval of Agenda 3. Approval of annual general meeting minutes from October 15, 2014 5. Auditor’s Report by Andrea Knorr, Certified General Accountant 6. Approval of Auditor’s Report and Financial Statements 7. Appointment of Auditor 8. Election of At-Large Representatives 9. Adjournment

IF YOU ARE AN EDITOR, EMPLOYEE, OR CONTRIBUTOR AT THE PEAK, YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THE PEAK PUBLICATIONS SOCIETY, AND WE NEED YOU AT THIS MEETING! If you are not a member and would like to attend or run for one of the three at-large positions on the Board of Governors, contact MAIA@THEPEAK.CA for more information, or visit the-peak.ca/at-large.

8 NEWS

SFU is only a month into its fall semester, but already the administration is facing a massive overhaul as Philip Steenkamp, VP External Relations, and Jon Driver, VP Academic, will both be leaving their posts by the end of the academic year.

The university now has to fill three of its six vice president positions: VP Academic, VP External Relations, and VP Finance, following the passing of the former VP Finance Pat Hibbitts on June 2. Vice president positions are the highest level of university administration under the president.

Hibbits passed away suddenly this June after serving as a senior executive member at SFU for 14 years. In her position as VP Finance, Hibbits supervised more than 350 staff members in seven departments.

“She was the lynchpin for all operational issues,” said

October 5, 2015

Photo courtesy of SFU University Communications

Terry Waterhouse, SFU’s chief safety officer, in a statement from University Communications. “Her clarity was always a guiding force. She was brilliant, intuitive and could make the right decisions every time.”

In an internal communication circulated on Sept.

29, President Andrew Petter

informed the SFU community that Steenkamp will be leaving his post as of November 30.

“I will be striking a Search Committee to recruit a new VP, External Relations with the goal of filling this important position as soon as possible,” Petter explained in the email. If the search committee does not fill the position by the time of Steenkamp’s departure, associate VP external relations Joanne Curry will assume the role temporarily.

The university currently has search committees for the VP Academic and VP Finance and Administration positions.

The search committee for VP academic is comprised of 21 individuals, including SFU students, faculty, staff, and administration, as well as one external corporate representative of VanCity.

Driver is moving on after eight years in the role of VP Academic, after serving one term of five years and being renewed for another. Driver is leaving the position with two years left in his term, having decided that he has accomplished what he wished to in the role, and plans to go back to teaching in his original department: archaeology.

Said Driver, “I’m quite keen on getting back to teaching and doing more research, which is what I came to the university for in the first place.”

Steenkamp’s more hasty departure is due to his acceptance of the position of VP External

at UBC. Said Petter of the loss, “When you have someone of that ability and you have other institutions that have needs, there’s always the possibility that good people have you will be recruited and enticed away by those institutions that would like to hire them.”

Looking back on his time in the position, Driver said his biggest difficulty was the university’s first attempt to establish learning outcomes. This initiative was met with resistance by many faculty members and led to a healthy debate around the ethics and feasibility of enforcing and measuring those outcomes.

In terms of successes, Driver singled out the feat of keeping the university running during tough economic times, and beginning to change the culture of teaching as his two proudest accomplishments.

“We have a much more diverse student body than we

would have say, 25 or 30 years ago. That diversity means that people learn in different ways,” said Driver.

“It’s really about getting the whole university, and particularly on the academic side, thinking more critically about how we teach, why we teach, and to focus more on the learner and less on the teacher.”

Both Petter and Driver emphasized the fact that SFU administration has been very stable for the last five or so years, with not much turnover in personnel.

Said Petter, “I don’t think there’s any cause for people to be alarmed or concerned by the fact that this kind of turnover takes place.”

He continued, “It does create opportunities for change [. . .] When new people come in it brings in new ideas, it brings in new energy. Hopefully they build on the legacy that’s been left to them by their predecessors.”

OPINIONS

Hi, Peak reader. As one of the Ghosts of Opinions Section Past (my tenure was from February–April 2005; I replaced a guy who got fired mid-semester for kicking one of his fellow editors), I’ve been summoned back to these pages by a complex incantation involving pig-hoof potions and nicely worded emails to relay something that might be of use to the SFU student body of 2015.

Which is perfect, really, because I actually do have a piece of advice that I try to impress upon just about everyone. Better yet, it’s actually got to do with opinions.

Specifically: You should have fewer of them.

I mean, look. I get it. It’s fun and convenient to walk around casting stone-cold judgment on everything you see, hear, and read. And nobody’s going to retweet you for saying “This is a multi-faceted issue I haven’t had a chance to think through in detail yet.” But it’s a big world out there,

October 5, 2015

and there’s always more information to be had. More context, more dissent. Which means it’s harder than ever to fully understand any single issue — yet people chime in anyway. Lord, how they do chime.

It might not appear to cost anything to blurt out an opinion, because the Internet is basically infinite, but people’s attention spans aren’t. Every minute you force someone to engage with an undercooked yes / no verdict is a minute that neither one of you is getting back.

Have you ever taken the time to challenge someone, only to realize that they were talking out of their ass the whole time? Or, even worse, have them retreat into feeble mumbling about ‘playing devil’s advocate?’ I spent hours of my undergrad in beige tutorial rooms, staring daggers through variations of this same dipshit.

No more. Be it resolved that in

able to allow the company to make a profit, but a very small profit. [. . .] We think these changes will be welcomed.”

If you haven’t heard of “America’s most hated man” by now, his name is Martin Shkreli and he is the chief executive of Turing Pharmaceuticals. Earlier last week he raised the price of the drug Daraprim, used to treat patients with AIDS, by 5,000 per cent. It’s no surprise that public outrage on social media exploded, sending this story to the top of the trending list.

So, what if I suggested that this was the plan all along?

After all the outcry and controversy, Shkreli stated on ABC News , “We’ve agreed to lower the price on Daraprim to a point that is more affordable and is

Turing Pharmaceuticals may just be using our own voice and medium against us by knowing and taking advantage of exactly how we respond to certain actions through social media.

After the obvious shock and outrage against the incredibly unjustifiable price change from $13.50 to $750 a pill, they now plan to lower the price to an amount that still constitutes a considerable increase, which gives a sense of power to the public through network media while simultaneously projecting the company as one that listens and cares. If this was an illusionary sense, it would be an ugly marketing strategy.

opinions editor email

Adam Van der Zwan opinions@the-peak.ca

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2015, friends don’t let friends play devil’s advocate.

And now, some overdue atonement for my own sins.

When I was in my second semester at SFU, barely 18 years old, The Peak handed me my own column. I quickly realized I had nothing intelligent to say, but scrambled to fill my pillar of text anyway. Results were, let’s say, mixed. (As one fan put it: “If you write one more column about writing a column, I’m going to stab your eyes out.”) At the time I defended myself with some vague claim to satire, but even then I knew that was some pretty weak sauce.

These days, I write another column — this one about books, for the Edmonton Journal — and I like to think I’ve learned my lesson. Just in time, too, since the literary world is notoriously bad at barfing out overly hasty opinions. That’s because books take kind of a long time to read, and the window for hot takes seems to shrink by the minute.

In the first instalment of this new column, in 2012, I took a

vow of considered thought, and asked my readers to do the same. “By all means,” I wrote, “be curious. Be sceptical. Have high hopes, as well as high standards. But there’s no shame in abstaining, or in taking time to privately mull things over. In fact, it’s kind of liberating.”

Is it ever. If you don’t already know the sweet, sweet relief of not having to pretend to give a shit, I urge you to get familiar with it. As in, now. I didn’t figure out how to pump these particular brakes until well after graduation, when it became a legitimate quality-of-life-on-the-Internet issue. And the best part is that once you’ve opted out, you can use that newly freed mental RAM

to be legitimately useful in that percentage of conversations in which you are qualified to run your mouth. Imagine that.

Have fewer opinions. While you’re at it, ask your friends, your date, or your mail carrier what they think. Or how about your grandma? That’s my second piece of advice: Call your grandma. She’d love to hear from you.

Martin Shkreli might play an impossibly insufferable role in this. There is no way a big pharmaceutical company would let the 32-year-old be an actual detriment to big business on purpose. I’d say it’s reasonable to assume he’s playing a deliberate part to cause commotion.

Shkreli volunteers to be the face that people can direct their anger towards, as opposed to the corporation itself, when they realize that debt will come to those who can no longer afford the medication that their lives depend on.

If my theories are correct, then this act is business-genius.

Shkreli even seemed to fuel the fire of controversy through Twitter by quoting rapper Eminem with, “and it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me. So I point one back at em, but not the index or pinky,” giving off the stinky

cologne of a wannabee gangster K-Fed-type that is almost too easy to hate.

As the old adage goes, there’s no such thing as bad press.

If the controversy didn’t catch social media’s hook and cause the outrage that it did, or if they did intend to raise the price so exorbitantly, the company would still be left with the 5,000 per cent increase lining their already stuffed pockets.

It’s a win-win-win situation.

In light of all this, I find that as our generation steps forth as masters of networking and social media, we need to be careful with issues that go ‘trending’ and how we perceive them. Twitter is still a relatively new platform that we can use to make change and promote new ideas, but it could be used with precise intention to shape and mould ideas that we think are ours — but may well be premeditated by big business.

10 OPINIONS

Andrew Smith recently published an editorial in The Guardian accusing PowerPoint of killing critical thought and engagement in classrooms. While I always advocated for this position as a student, as a sessional instructor I still couldn’t agree more.

In my first year at SFU, a sessional prof, Stephen Ogden, polled our English 150 class, asking if we’d like to have lecture slides posted online. The class used blogs as a means of out-of-class communication and for participation marks, something I argued against online, saying that learning to note-take is a skill and as students at a university, we should be competent in this.

This was not a popular opinion, so much so that one anonymous classmate proceeded to harass me online, posting responses like “I’m going to kill your whole family” on every subsequent post I made, but with poor grammar and spelling. I like to think that alone proved my point.

There are some profs who can use PowerPoint more successfully, as Smith notes, but they tend to only use them for purely visual accompaniments.

I become General Colin Powell, master of those in front of me when I use Powerpoints because I put a picture of a map of Canada beside the word ‘regionalism’ instead of writing it on the board. There’s no difference in my lecturing styles; frankly if I don’t have a PowerPoint, I often put more effort into my lecture notes than when I do have visual accompaniment. But for some reason, the visual medium pulls in students and convinces them I’m the expert in the room.

My students demand lecture slides be posted ahead of time, insisting they will use them to

Back in 2008, when I was Peak Opinions Editor, I wrote a popular article entitled “Enough with the ethnic clubs.” It denounced the still-common phenomenon of campus clubs and organizations that explicitly desire a narrow and particular ethnic membership. The Korean Students’ Society for whatever — that sort of thing.

It wasn’t really controversial.

Aside from a few furious emails from the usual sorts, feedback from students of all backgrounds was overwhelmingly positive. Strangers-stopping-me-in-the-hallways positive. There was appreciation for stating bluntly something everyone already knew.

When SFU was founded, Canada’s entire visible minority population was around 300,000 — fewer than the number of ethnic Chinese who now live in Vancouver alone.

Government policy over the last

half century has brought incredible waves of immigration to this country, mostly from what anthropologist-types would call the “global south,” and the result has been a transformation of Canadian society in a way SFU’s first generation of grads could have barely anticipated when they crossed the stage in 1967.

Today SFU has become a vivid case study in the challenges brought by a nation that has pursued such rapid diversification.

Some anecdotes are encouraging — even inspiring. In the last decade, five visible minorities have served as president of the SFSS — more than in the previous 40 years combined. I was once in charge of SFSS elections, and in my 2007 report I recorded “no visible minorities were elected” to the board of directors. Today the majority of its members have names like Binesh, Sharma, and Chen.

Yet outside certain bubbles, many SFU students experience a campus that has not adapted to changing demographic realities with impressiveness or comfort. Any casual tour reveals informal segregation of the student body — in study groups, in cafeteria seating, in friendship cliques — remains the norm, with language and race serving as barriers of

October 5, 2015

take notes, and then forget or don’t print them off. Instead, I watch them draw what the slides look like and then take notes off of those instead of just writing abbreviated thoughts down the page.

This could just be an example of visual learning, but I feel like an inability to piece together small concepts and visualize the connections between them is the opposite of what any teacher hopes for. I want them to infer headings and subheadings when I lecture, but there’s only so much one slide can contain.

Maybe programs like Prezi subvert this and use visuality to show those connections, but the effort on the instructor’s behalf to make something like that every week is huge, and again, shows content in a passive way rather than engaging students in a process of learning.

It’s being able to describe those networks and their significances that are key to critical thinking and higher learning, and if that ability isn’t being exercised, critical thinking skills

division and alienation. This is why the brazen shamelessness of ethnic clubs rub so many the wrong way: they celebrate exclusion and isolation on a campus that’s already has enough trouble with that.

The blame should be widely spread. Institutions of campus culture promoting a united student identity and purpose have either eroded with time, or merely become more conspicuous for never existing.

English, supposedly SFU’s official language of communication, seems to have been undermined by relaxed fluency standards for new students in the service of swelling

don’t seem to be at play, at least in the context of humanities and social sciences.

This past week I gave in to my students’ demands and agreed to give them topics for their first (very short) essays. It kills me to do this after reminding them every week they need to think about what they could write with regards to any of the readings I give them.

Almost half of them have already come up with their own topics, but for the rest, I wish I knew how to convince them that they are all capable of having original

enrollment — particularly among deep-pocketed foreigners.

Sports remain, as they have always been at SFU, the passion of a dedicated few. Perhaps a new stadium will change this, but a mountain-top university with few genuine townies will probably never have an American-style culture of Friday night lights.

Satellite campuses have encouraged geographic scattering of the student body, and reinforce the idea that SFU is less a place than a brand.

Respect for campus history and heritage is often sacrificed for political correctness. Crosses were erased from the university crest, artwork depicting

thoughts and they are capable of writing a sustained argument about them.

Maybe I just need to incorporate more inspirational poster lecture slides.

the adventures of Simon Fraser have been taken down for being excessively ‘colonialist.’ New logos and slogans have been empty and corporate.

Unifying mediums of campus communication, such as this newspaper — are easily ignored in the online age.

Absent of the allure of traditional pillars of campus culture, temptation is strong for students to retreat into identities that do offer firmness or passion. Pride in race and nation will always deliver both.

In a diverse society containing ever-increasing of numbers first and second generation youth, the Canadian university can be a powerful institution to promote civic assimilation and a sense of common cause. Ethnic clubs remain a symptom of SFU’s failure to fulfill this important obligation to campus and country alike.

OPINIONS

Isn’t it annoying when people stick their noses in your business?

How about a nose in your uterus?

Anti-choicers (‘pro-lifers’) have decidedly come to the conclusion that it’s their right to make decisions for other people. #ShoutYourAbortion is a Twitter hashtag created to encourage those who have had abortions to speak out and break free of the stigma that surrounds the procedure.

As Twitter usually goes, the hashtag was quickly infiltrated by naysayers who aimed to shame and silence the people who dared to share their experiences. To the ‘antis,’ I say this: get out of our hashtag.

There is a time and a place for many things, but the negative attacks from those who hate the idea of a person with a uterus making firm, lifelong choices, do not belong in a hashtag centered around empowering women.

If ‘pro-lifers’ are so concerned about the rights of children, why are they inciting hate towards a positive hashtag rather than advocating for more

What speaks to the soul more than a warm bun with a little bit of marinara sauce and cheese? Not a whole heck of a lot. The pizza bun is a modern masterpiece; it is the perfect way to get your pizza fix without the hassle of waiting for the oven to heat up, or fearing that the delivery guy is going

October 5, 2015

affordable healthcare or childcare services, and raising awareness about the overwhelming problem of child poverty?

They are focused on oppressing women and taking away rights to a medical procedure rather than actually doing anything good for the children and parents in the world who are currently struggling to get by.

Unfortunately, these hashtag infiltrators came out with new ideas: the hashtags #ShoutYourAdoption and #IKilledMyBabyAndImProudOfIt — and although to ‘shout your adoption’ would be a lovely sentiment, it is still focused on taking

to get lost and take your one true love on an adventure far away.

It is also more practical than normal pizza. It can be turned into a savory French toast, used as slices of bread for a spectacular sandwich, or made into a pizza grilled cheese. It is also infinitely

away the right to choose the future of your life through abortion. Many anti-choicers speak of ‘murder’ and ‘pride,’ when this is not the case.

Abortion is about escaping an impossible situation. It’s about starting a conversation

better cold than regular pizza, as it was designed to be eaten cold as well as hot. Regular pizza just cannot speak the same culinary language.

Delicious, versatile, and able to fill the sad lonely places of your pizza-deprived soul, the pizza bun is your stomach’s real hero.

we were never permitted to have before abortion was legalized not so long ago. It’s about choice. #ShoutYourAbortion isn’t bragging or glorifying abortion, it’s instead removing the societal stigma and shame from an important medical procedure. I would say a majority of pregnancies in Canada that end in abortion are unintended. People do not have abortions because they want to; they have them because

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they need to to salvage their well-being and their futures.

People will continue to have abortions whether it’s legal or not.

Criminalizing it results in unsafe abortion procedures that have the potential to put a woman who has conceived at risk of death. If ‘prolifers’ value human life so deeply, they should make sure women have access to a safe medical procedure.

Anti-choicers, #ShoutYourAbortion does not concern you. We understand that you value human life.

Instead, please go picket a Stephen Harper speech — I’ve heard he’s planning to defund health care — and leave be a hashtag meant to empower women everywhere.

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There was once a time when the man bun was a glorious sight; it was like spotting a wild unicorn. But now, chuck a stone through Convo Mall and you will likely hit more than ten people with man buns. None of these buns compare to the hairstyle’s early days — the days when someone would lust more

after that perfect, messy bun than the man attached to it.

Now the majority of male hair-lust is related to looking for the perfect ‘un-bunned’ haircut, which is, to be perfectly honest, any haircut that isn’t in a bun. Even the cringeworthy early-nineties mushroom cut would be a refreshing

change from the little nubbins reminiscent of the tiny cacti that you can buy for $1.00 in the grocery store.

A scourge to our wonderful society, the man bun must be stopped. Please stop it. Now. Stop it yourself, so I don’t turn into my grandmother and chase you with a razor.

VANCOUVER CONVENTION CENTRE 2 pm - 6 pm SEMINARS start at 1 pm

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October 5, 2015

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COMMUNITY PHOTOS June 29, 2015

photo editor email

Mellisa Dimyadi photos@the-peak.ca

October 5, 2015

June 29, 2015

photo editor email

Mellisa Dimyadi photos@the-peak.ca

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Like any 10-yearold celebrating their birthday, The Peak of 1975 is immature but energetic. The first thing modern readers would likely notice is the lack of photos — this issue is wall-to-wall text, and it feels a bit like 24 pages of articles stuffed into a 16-page paper.

As will quickly become tradition, the requisite origin story retells the Tale of Two Papers, though the staff at least have the modesty to reserve the majority of the article for page three.

Elsewhere, The Peak had already begun to look like its current self: there’s news articles, an area for editorials and letters to the editor, an arts and culture review, and a sports section. One can even see the hints of a features section in longer articles like the one describing the then-new University Centre Building (UCB). There are a few weird ads, including one for Bacardi, one for the Baha’i faith, and another for mail-order research essays (160 pages for one dollar!).

1 2 3 Despite its labyrinthine design and wealth of typoes, this is a fine issue

that shows its age but never embarrassingly so. There’s an article arguing for gay students’ rights, several investigative pieces on the status of the

administration and the student union, and an editorial by the SFSS presi-

dent on lack of student engagement. This was a much more radical period in SFU’s history, the culmination of a politically active first decade that the university has yet to match since.

Clearly the big news at the time of this issue was the opening of the

UCB, which has since become a nearly un-Googleable blip in SFU’s quinta-

genarian history; but upon closer inspection there are plenty of treats here,

including an article from the then-new Women’s Centre on campus and several letters about a previously published piece titled — and I’m not kidding — “The Glory of Zion.” And they call us controversial.

In many ways, The Peak of 1975 is already wholly recognisable to most

readers. The copy and layout reflect an editorial team that had outgrown the suit-wearing, pipe-smoking pretension of the paper’s first few years.

There’s even a shout out from the Royal Bank of Canada on the back page, proving that annoying RBC salespeople are a more enduring SFU icon than McFogg the Dog.

Sure, most of the people in the photographs look like they just walked

off the set of Boogie Nights, but the spirit of the paper is already alive and well in these pages.

5 4 3

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ARTS

arts editor email

October 5, 2015

Tessa Perkins arts@the-peak.ca

SUPERLATIVE STORYTELLING

CRAFT EDUCATION

Commercial Drive is a pretty cool place. It’s a cultural hub near a vortex of antiseptic-unoccupiedcity-of-glass-windowed-condos.

For our purposes, let’s just say Commercial Drive is cool. The Drive is cool because despite our hyper-capitalist, hyper-consumer culture, the businesses there seem to do their best to flex their anti-establishment muscles.

This allows your average hyperconsumer to consume stuff in a way that is often at odds with our present commercial culture.

Beer is a great frame through which to consider this. When one stops at a cafe, bar, or pub on The Drive, they’re unlikely to see someone sipping on a Bud, or a Kokanee (I will concede Cariboo is oft-quaffed, it seems to be more a question of funds than real choice). What are often had are artfully produced Belgian ales, especially at places like The Tangent Cafe or BierCraft.

But what if I told you some of the world-class ales weren’t produced in Belgium? What if I told you that they were produced very near to SFU’s Burnaby campus? Dageraad brews many of your favourite beers found at places like the Tangent Cafe. Those beers are in fact brewed less than two blocks from Production Way– University station, and appreciated as among the best

examples of the style by people from Vancouver to Brussels.

I understand that if you are new to craft beer, it can often be intimidating to know where to start. Ben Coli, owner and Brewmaster at Dageraad, wants you to know that Belgian beers are very approachable compared to other popular craft styles such as the IPA. The Belgian style plays with softer, fruitier flavours rather than the harsh bitterness of these and many other craft beers.

Ben, who is a local but has spent many a day sampling the legends of Belgian beers on the Dageraadplaats (square) for which his brewery is named, laments that more students don’t stop by his cozy tasting room for a beer. I couldn’t agree with him more. In Ben and his brewery, we have a local craftsperson creating worldclass beer, and many of us walk past the ambrosia-creating factory twice daily only to sip it in cafes miles away that same evening.

Of course no one can force you to come sit down and enjoy something amazing, but if none of this excites you, please also consider Ben’s wonderful table beer “Burnabarian,” a Belgian table beer with a slight fruity flavor and light body that make it an absolute crowd pleaser. On the other hand, if you are more of a beer geek, get ready for their Wet Hopped Blonde or, even more exciting, a Belgian Brune that’s been kettle soured.

So, SFU, hop on board with our local world-class brewer, or be doomed to share it with the hipsters of The Drive.

Rarely does one come across an author who can authentically represent the place in which their stories are set.

Tom Wayman is the exception to this rule. In his latest collection of short stories, The Shadows We Mistake For Love , Wayman stays true to not only the people of the West Kootenay area of British Columbia, but the place itself.

This region is beautiful — the mixture of mountains, forests, rivers, lakes, and the

colour of the sky during a summer sunset combine to make this area otherworldly. Wayman is able to capture this perfectly with his descriptions of the area. Yet the region goes beyond just being another location for action within these stories: it becomes another character. This characterization comes through most clearly in the first and final stories of the collection, “Dwelling” and “Fenris.” Both of these center on the same nameless man and his experiences on his acreage, the magic of the region, the way it can pull a person in and change how they view the world around them or change their outlook on life.

The other stories in the collection focus more on the people who inhabit the region.

Even though we are only briefly introduced to each character, as readers we are able to empathize with them. They come off the page and inhabit not only the written version of the West Kootenay, but the physical one as well.

H a v i n g grown up in the East Kootenay and spending countless weekends in the West Kootenay region, I can attest to the fact

that the characters in the stories resemble the real people in the region. The characters are also written in a way that makes them relatable to people who are unfamiliar with the area. While the stereotypical hippie commune comes into play in both the titular story and “The Three Jimmys,” the issues that all the characters face are relatable across geographic boundaries.

Age and gender are two other things that Wayman is able to handle masterfully throughout his stories. He can write from the perspective of a woman in her mid-twenties, a teenaged boy, or a middle-aged man with the same amount of care and lived experiences that make these characters realistic and relatable.

This collection of stories successfully captures the spirit of a region that few people visit, and even fewer understand. The West Kootenay is a region where the people are warm, friendly, and seem as if they are from a simpler time.

Each story expertly blends the area and the characters in a manner that transports you to the world of the stories.

These masterfully crafted stories should be read by anyone who has lived in the region or anyone who wants to be transported into the lives of the people who call the West Kootenay home.

ARTS

Trevor Noah, the South Africanborn comedian, made his debut as the new host of The Daily Show on Monday September 28 — or what Twitter called #TrevorDay. Noah is leading The Daily Show into a new era filled with more emphasis on social media and expanding further than cable news networks — as well as a more international perspective on current affairs.

In his opening monologue, Noah sent a clear message: although he is grateful to Stewart, he is not Uncle Jon. He said, “I can assume that this is as strange for you as it is for me.

Jon Stewart was more than just a late-night host. He was often our voice, our refuge, and in many ways, our political dad.

And it’s weird, because Dad has left. And now it feels like the family has a new stepdad — and he’s black. Which is not ideal.”

Noah made the usual casual stroll through the day’s topics by opting out of the obvious choice of covering Syria and instead going for coverage of the Pope’s visit to the USA. Next up, he lamented the resignation of John Boehner, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, saying that he is leaving just as Trevor learned how to pronounce Boehner’s name. Lastly, he touched on the discovery of water on Mars, which Noah used to poke fun at California’s drought problems.

He’s young, attractive, funny, and not afraid to be honest, even if it unsettles his viewers a bit. Noah clearly did not play it safe and decided to point out one of America’s woes: “Once more a job Americans rejected is now being done by an immigrant,” he said.

Even though there will be naysayers who will tear him apart and deem him a failed replacement, I believe that Trevor Noah’s debut was successful.

The essentials were all there, and the writing delivered the expected satirical outlook and thorough analysis on current affairs. One of my favourite bits was when Noah thanked Jon Stewart and promised he would try to not make Jon Stewart

October 5, 2015

seem like a “crazy old dude who left his inheritance to some random kid from Africa.”

The structure of the new show is pretty much aligned with the old one. Apart from a new desk and set, Noah retained much of Stewart’s staff, the show’s theme music and its format, right down to closing with a moment of zen. It was refreshing to see him deliver the moment of zen standing up instead of in Stewart’s sit down style, as well, the subtle difference of including profanity is a change I welcome.

As host and executive producer of the show, Noah has

a hand in writing and approving jokes and setting the tone.

Through time, seasoned viewers of The Daily Show will learn of his comic point of view. Jon Stewart had 16 years to build The Daily Show into a sharp commentator of current affairs and a prestigious institution for journalism.

We clearly can’t judge Noah too harshly during his debut.

Trevor Noah has the potential to bring a new edge to an already edgy television show — instead of feeding us a nostalgic recipe of exasperated social commentary, he can start giving us his renowned global take on current events.

Alternative rapper k-os has always had a penchant for crafting distinctive tracks unlike anything heard in mainstream outlets.

With no strict ties to any genre of music, this Toronto-based artist has never ceased to impress with a wide assortment of tracks. In his latest studio album, we see what we would expect from the artist with little to no deviation.

Can’t Fly Without Gravity is a blink-and-you-will-miss-it studio album with 13 well-produced songs. The total collection of tracks clock in at just over 40 minutes, leaving listeners with a succinct album that doesn’t overstay its welcome, a fact that will suit the average music listener fine, given that some songs are better than others.

The album begins with a rather disjointed and puzzling track called “Snapback,” which seems less like an underground jazz interlude and more like a freestyle with oddly timed dips in sound quality. Regardless, the

17

tracks that follow make up for the album’s introductory stumble and more aptly set the tone for the experience to come.

The majority of the tracks on this album can be uniformly categorized as old-school and underground hip hop with the occasional detour into psychedelic soul (“Dance In Yo Car”) and alternative rock (“Turn Me Loose”).

Unfortunately, many of the album’s tracks are forgettable.

While k-os is able to produce singles with expertly crafted rhythms, his lyrics are not always on target, and when they are, the references are rather dated and redundant — for instance “shooting on all the wack emcees on sight.”

That being said, k-os does highly impress at the tail end of his sixth album. “Spaceship” proves to be the shining gem of the collection with its thoughtful sing-along verses and serene instrumentals. As well, “Steel Sharpens Steel” turns it up with some kickass guitar that will melt your face off. The album concludes with “Another Shot,” and its lyrics are summative of the album as a whole: “It’s time to go, you’ve missed the boat.”

Can’t Fly Without Gravity has something for everybody, but is not something everyone will enjoy.

18 ARTS

October 5, 2015

COMIC CONNOISSEUR

For the final 40 minutes of Robert Zemeckis’ The Walk, a playful caper adapted from the true story of Philippe Petit, a highwire artist that walked between the Twin Towers in New York, we held our breath and only exhaled to yell instructions at the screen: “No, don’t do it!”

Awe-inspiring, spellbinding, mesmerizing, enthralling, entrancing, and many more of these “ings,” The Walk, like Gravity before it, is a technical achievement that must be seen on the biggest screen with the best sound, and oh, that’s only if you’re comfortable with heights — around 1,350 feet, to be exact.

Based on the same story as James Marsh’s acclaimed documentary Man On Wire, we trace Petit’s early life like a conventional biopic (this is the least inspired portion of the film), but the film mostly takes place leading up to his “artistic coup.”

Through meticulously composed shots, breathtaking visual effects, and a confident performance by Joseph

Gordon-Levitt, Zemeckis recreates Petit’s three-hour tightrope walk with poetic tension.

Devoid of explosions or cynicism, this is one of the best popcorn movies of the year, and one of the most exuberant and exciting cinematic experiences of my life.

While most of my favorite films of the year come from the art-house circuit, The Walk is the only recent movie that has given me a singular sensation — the movie magic we used to feel as kids and the excitement of being transported by a filmmaker’s rapturous imagination. So far removed from the darkness that has plagued mainstream films in our post-9/11 age, the gleeful optimism in The Walk nearly brought me to tears, even as Petit walks between the two signifiers of human accomplishment that will eventually come crashing down.

But this is precisely the point: The Walk isn’t just marvelous entertainment, it’s also a restoration of our desire to climb higher, to build bigger, and to aspire to do anything we can imagine. It’s an act of mourning with the inspiration to finally move past the fear and the darkness.

Recent efforts like Interstellar and Tomorrowland have tried to convey a similar message, yet both of those films lacked The Walk’s cleareyed fun. With its unabashed warmth and love, the only

recent film it can be compared to is Martin Scorsese’s Hugo.

Except, where Scorsese’s love was for the cinema, Zemeckis’ is for humanity.

In the final stretch of The Walk, after Petit has completed his “artistic coup” with his “accomplices,” the tightrope artist is given a “lifetime” pass to the tops of the World Trade Center. Of course, to everyone in the audience, they know this is tragically false. The Walk takes place in 1974, but so many moments of the film are about what would happen close to forty years later. The most eerie shot of the film is not when Petit lays down on a wire almost half a kilometer in the air, but the final shot which fades out on the Twin Towers — a hint of what was to come.

The symbol of human accomplishment may have fallen to fanaticism and hatred, but Zemeckis is trying to resurrect it. Standing on the symbolic Statue of Liberty — emblematic of Western values — Petit narrates his story without ever attributing any motive or reason for his walk.

He becomes a broad symbol of human capability.

The Walk may be one of the most exciting and jawdropping films of 2015, but it’s also a delicate one that invites us to walk across its tightrope to a world built on optimism and ambition, not fear or cynicism.

Since their debut in 2013, The Rat Queens have enjoyed a cozy status as one of the more popular mainstream fantasies on comic newsstands. Filled with a spunky cast of wellcharacterized leading ladies, and enough sex and violence to make a Catholic nun blush, it’s really all you could ever ask for in a series (especially when it comes to filling the void between new Game of Thrones episodes). Unfortunately, The Rat Queens: The Far Reaching Tentacles of N’Rygoth loses momentum with a poorly paced and uninteresting tale in only its second volume.

After saving the city of Palisade from an invasion, the Rat Queens awake from a celebratory night of sex, drugs, and alcohol to pick up the pieces from the night before. However, before the Queens can finish breakfast, an evil rises from the depths of the past.

When a crazed widower obtains a mystic artifact, the warrior maidens must hatch a plan to stop the evildoer before all is lost.

While this volume is a step backwards from the successful and hugely entertaining first story arc, this Rat Queens is not without its strong qualities. Roc Upchurch and Stjepan Sejic render the underwhelming arc with fantastically vibrant artwork; the best of the whole series so far. Fight scenes, which were a strong element of past issues, continue to be a gory spectacle of violence.

Unfortunately, the second volume in the series suffers from a disjointed storyline that places too much of an emphasis on the pasts of its characters. Kurtis J. Wiebe bites off more than he can chew trying to juggle the main plot with complex character origins. If he had chosen to focus on one over the other, the story likely would have come together more cohesively.

Arguably the weakest aspect of the story is its antagonist. The main villain is dull, uninteresting, and hardly present. On a scale of bank robber to intergalactic overlord, this villain rates as an irate Donald Duck having a bad Monday morning.

In a 136-page graphic novel, this mundane malefactor has the gall to show up for only 13 pages. Worse still, the fearsome squid demons he summons are about as frightening as a plate of calamari.

In the end, Rat Queens: The Far Reaching Tentacles of N’Rygoth is a fun but unmemorable read that will lead to you forgetting everything you read within an hour.

ARTS

October 5, 2015

FF

Ryan Adams, in all his alternative rock glory, covered the entirety of Taylor Swift’s pop album 1989 and everybody freaked out — including Taylor Swift, her army of fans, and me. Immediately following its release on September 21, I listened to the album and full on lost myself in the artistry of it.

Ryan Adams stripped down the songs and characterized them in a whole new way that not only showcases his incredible talent, but also draws extra attention to Swift’s lyrical genius.

Swift insisted in an interview that, rather than cover songs, the tracks are “re-imaginings” of the originals with different emotions attached to them. It’s a bittersweet reflective album about love and regret — the instrumentals sweep you away and make you feel as though you are getting introduced to 1989 all over again.

Taylor Swift expressed her excitement through many posts on her social media and described the event as “surreal and dreamlike” to have an artist who has long influenced her songwriting to be covering her record. The album is hard to place in one genre, as each song is so unique.

If I had to, I would call it indie rock — but some of the songs have gothic and folk touches in them.

Onto my favorites. “All You Had to Do Was Stay” is a regretful heartbreaker with a baseline and a muted beat replaces the chaotic, greatly underrated, pop anthem. “I Know Places” represents old school gothic rock that chills you. “Style” is my number one pick for sure, because Adams made it into a rock song — just when you thought the song couldn’t get better, Adams swoops in and pays respects to Sonic Youth by changing the original lyric “James Dean daydream look in your eye” to “Daydream Nation look in your eye” and “red lip classic thing” to “pent up love thing.” I almost fainted, the trueto-form rock fangirl I am.

“Wildest Dreams” remains not too altered but a beautiful track on the cover album, and something I would love to see them sing together. And, finally, “Blank Space” is morphed into a chilling ballad, just Adams’ voice and the delicate fingerpicking of acoustic strings.

Even if you didn’t like the pop princess’ original hit record, Ryan Adams’ is a different sound and story that is worth a Spotify shuffle or an iTunes purchase. Try not to feel overwhelmed with feelings at some point — it’s almost impossible. When an exquisite set of renditions like this gets deposited to the public music world, it demands to be heard.

19

FOOD FIGHT

don’t be afraid to add more carrots if yours are a little on the small side.

Chicken Noodle Soup

Cold and flu season is fast approaching, along with a whole host of other things that we would rather not think about [cough] mid-terms [cough]. One of the easiest ways to combat feeling under the weather in the fall and winter — other than crawling into a hole and not reemerging until spring — is to make chicken noodle soup. Science might not be able to conclusively prove the effectiveness of this soup in fighting the common cold, but if your grandma says that it works, then why not give it a shot?

My chicken noodle soup recipe is relatively straightforward, but, that being said, there are a few things I would like to point out before getting into the nittygritty of things: Unless you burn your vegetables or add way too many noodles, you can’t mess this recipe up. It is one of the beautiful things about the soup.

Make sure that you have equal amounts of the vegetables — this will give the soup a richer, more balanced flavour;

2 small onions 2–3 stalks celery 3 medium carrots 4–5 cloves of garlic 1–2 tablespoons light flavoured oil (canola or vegetable) The cooked meat from either 2 chicken legs or 1 breast and 1 leg 1 tablespoon thyme 1 tablespoon sage 1 tablespoon rosemary 1 tablespoon pepper 2 cartons of chicken stock 1½ cups soup noodles (the tiny ones) or half of a bag of egg noodles Salt to taste Optional: a peeled 1-inch piece of ginger 1.

Begin by peeling the onions and carrots and trimming and washing the celery.

Dice the onions and chop the carrots and celery into bitesized pieces.

2.

In a large pot, preferably a Dutch oven, heat the oil over medium heat and add the onion, carrots, and celery. Stir occasionally, cooking for 10–15 minutes. If you are concerned about the vegetables burning, you can turn the heat to low and cook for a longer amount of time.

3.

While the vegetables are cooking, finely chop the garlic and slice the ginger (if applicable) and set them aside. Separate the chicken from the bones and skin, discard whatever is not meat, and chop into small or medium sized pieces.

4.

Add the chicken to the veggies and cook until warmed through. Once warmed, add the garlic and cook for about three minutes. If you lowered your heat, now would be the time to raise it back to medium.

5.

Pour both cartons of chicken stock into the pot with the vegetables and the chicken.

6.

Unless you are using ground herbs, take a tea ball or a coffee filter and place the thyme, sage, rosemary, and ginger (if using) inside. Close the tea ball or tie the coffee filter shut with a piece of string and drop into the pot. Add the pepper and taste before adding any salt to the pot.

7.

Cover the pot with a lid and bring to a simmer over medium heat for about 10 minutes then reduce the heat. Leave the pot on low for a minimum of 30 minutes and up to a maximum of an hour.

8.

Increase the heat to high and add the noodles, cook them to your desired tenderness.

9.

Ladle into bowls and enjoy!

Any leftovers will keep in the fridge for about a week, or you can freeze them for up to six months.

20

SPORTS

One of the things I never realised before I started working at The Peak is the great history that this paper has.

It’s been going strong for 50 years now, and for all but one month, as long as SFU has been around, The Peak has been, too.

Going through the archives for this piece, it’s interesting to see fellow students who have been in my position comment on events with neutrality and facts, events which I have remembered through just emotions and memory. While you could probably write a whole feature on how The Peak covered big, world-changing news events, as Sports Editor, I decided to focus on how the paper covered sports, from way before I was even born up to the recent past.

In the previous SFU publication called The S.F. View, the sports section’s big focus was on Clansmen football, coached by the late Lorne Davies. The second game in their history was mentioned, a contest against Western Washington. It’s interesting that 50 years later, things

October 5, 2015

have come full circle. Despite SFU playing in NAIA, then CIS, and now the NCAA, the Clan are now once again playing Western Washington on a regular basis.

The Canucks played their first ever game on October 9, and The Peak was. . . not on the scene. There was no mention of the team’s upcoming first game in the October 7 issue, and none in the October 19 issue. But in their defence, the issue on that day was solely focused on the enactment of the War Measures Act and the FLQ crisis, a pretty big issue at the time to say the least.

The Whitecaps first game was in May of 1974, and was not mentioned at all. The team’s run to the 1979 NASL championship, which I thought would have been covered extensively, again didn’t get any articles on the subject.

Same with the Canucks’ first ever appearance in the Stanley Cup Finals in 1982. No real mentions of it in any issues close to when it happened in May of 1982. It continues a trend in early issues where the focus is solely on SFU Athletics and even intramural sports, and not on any professional sports.

The 1985 BC Lions Grey Cup victory coverage was limited to one line. The writer, Jason Brown, mentioned that the SFU wrestling team was “motivated by the BC Lions’ victory at the Grey Cup game.” And that’s it.

Moving on to when I was alive (though only two months old), the most shocking omission is the lack of coverage on the 1994 Stanley Cup Finals. Though, in the “For Sale” section of the May 30th, 1994 issue there was a classified for someone selling a ticket to the final. So at least there’s that.

Now let’s go to the recent past.

The Vancouver Grizzlies’ relocation got its own article in the February 19, 2001 issue of The Peak.

In it, writer Conrad Au outlines the reasons for the Grizzlies’ move to Memphis, which includes owner Michael Heisley, the fact that they always sucked, and the “lack of support the community gave to the franchise.” He goes on to comment

on the failure of an NBA franchise may affect Vancouver’s 2010 Olympics bid. In hindsight, this makes no sense at all. The Olympics are a prestigious international event with the best athletes in the world; the Grizzlies were a mediocre basketball team that never won more than 25 games in a season.

The 2005 NHL lockout officially ended the entire NHL season on

sports editor email

Nick Bondi sports@the-peak.ca

February 16, 2005. In the September 27, 2004 issue of The Peak, Ross Prusakowski issued the prophetic statement that the lockout will “probably wipe out [the] entire season” and the less prophetic one that the CIS could fill the void of the NHL. CIS didn’t fill that void during the lockout — junior hockey did, particularly with Sidney Crosby tearing it up.

The November 8th, 2004 issue featured writer Graeme Ellis voicing his displeasure over the stubbornness of the NHL and the NHLPA. At the time, I remember it was quite frustrating that both sides refused to negotiate with each other. It was like a game of chicken between two sides, playing with the emotions of passionate fans.

These sentiments would be repeated amongst hockey fans seven years later.

In an interesting twist, a rebuttal was written for the November 15 issue. Writer Mark-Daniel Hughes outlined the reasons behind his support for why he supported the NHL lockout. In it he outlined that the vast majority of NHL teams are losing money, and that a lockout would be the only way to solve these economic problems. His main argument was that it’s better to lose

one year of hockey than lose it all together.

A lot of these issues were resolved because of the lockout, but this pro-owners stance certainly wasn’t very popular in the day.

Finally, to the 2011 Stanley Cup Final. The May 30 issue featured a cover declaring Vancouver a “Canucks City,” and it truly was. Canucks car flags were everywhere, and everyone seemed to be wearing Canucks swag. I don’t think I took off my jersey for the whole final.

The Peak finally got it right with the Canucks’ third trip to the final. Pages 18 and 19 were dedicated to covering it, with a “panel” segment on page 19.

Peak Associate Ronil Desai, when asked if we’d seen the last of Roberto Luongo and the soft goals, said “No, however I do believe they will be far less frequent, particularly during clutch situations.” If only we knew.

I could go on for a lot longer about how The Peak covered various other sporting events. The point is, The Peak has covered a wide variety of sports in a wide variety of ways. Sometimes we’ve missed the big events, but it’s indicative of the history of this paper to try things differently, and I hope that continues well into the future.

SPORTS

October 5, 2015

21

w

erything there is to win at the highest level. Alongside the six Italian league titles, he won two Champions League trophies with the great Milan sides of the 2000’s, and of course the 2006 World Cup, where he was named man of the match in the final, and turned this sports editor into a huge fan of his.

But that’s not what is most impressive about him. What is most

impressive is that Pirlo is entirely different from every other soccer player out there. Ronaldo amazes you with his athleticism; he can do it all. Messi amazes you with his dribbling and his one-on-one skills.

But Pirlo amazes you with his brain.

He always seems to be in open space, ready to deliver a perfect pass to a player higher up the pitch. In an era where soccer fans seemed to be only concerned with flashiness and highlight reel goals, Pirlo is a throwback. He’ll never have any amazing runs through five players like Messi, but he will place the perfect pass nearly every time. Even at the age of 36, he was still playing at the highest level, starting in the Champions League final for Juventus.

Pirlo will probably go down as one of, if not the greatest free kick specialist of all time. If he has a chance within 25 yards of the goal, nine times out of ten it’s in the back of the net. He can score them any way as well; whether it’s bending it away from the wall, or hitting it perfectly into a bottom corner, his right foot is as precise as a surgeon. To quote Pirlo from his autobiography, which is a terrifically written book: “I strike

The Battle for the Border continued as a youthful Simon Fraser University football team (0–3) traveled down to Ellensburg, Washington to take on the Central Washington University Wildcats (2–2) in what would be a one sided matchup in favor of CWU. Woes for the Clan started before the game even had a chance to begin: as key injuries to defensive backs Jordan Pugh and Cairo Messer-Barrow forced the coaching staff to start true freshmen Jake Tumblin and Josh Bayne against a fierce Wildcat offense. Starting running back Josh Hayden was also a scratch for the game after suffering a hamstring injury in practice earlier in the weak.

“We’ve had many injuries [. . .] key guys at corner, safety, linebacker, running backs, you name it there’s injuries,” said

Head Coach Kelly Bates following their 40–7 loss.

The Clan opened the start of the game with a promising seven minute drive as quarterback Ryan Stanford moved the chains by connecting with receivers Sam Swerehorn and Earl ‘Swagup’ Anderson on separate pairs of catches. However, the drive ended in a missed 38-yard field goal attempt.

Big plays hurt the youthful Clan defense in the remain minutes of the first quarter as the Wildcats quickly put up 21 points, including an 80 yard touchdown pass on their first offensive play of the game.

Coach Bates addressed his young defenses performance by stating, “They saw some things [in the game] that they’ve seen in practice, but they just weren’t able to adjust to it quick enough [. . .] it really comes down to experience, and that’s what happened.

“We’ve got a lot of young guys right now that are playing, and gaining a lot of valuable experience,” Bates explained. “We’re very young, and we’re going to pay for that lack of experience right now, but it’s going to pay off down the line, and that’s really what you saw happen on the weekend.”

After watching Andrea Pirlo play last Saturday against the Whitecaps, I was inspired to write this article on my thoughts on the legend himself. He is by far my favourite soccer player of all time, and I am entirely convinced there will never be another like him.

The numbers speak for themselves. Pirlo has won practically ev-

w Last Tuesday the women’s volleyball team lost 3–1 to the nationally ranked Western Washington Vikings. Despite winning the first set 25–21, they lost the next three sets.

Christine Howlett led the team with 11 kills, and freshman Tessa May ended the night with five blocks.

those dead balls Alla Pirlo. Each shot bears my name, and they’re all my children.”

His personality and look is unlike any other professional athlete.

It oozes coolness and class. He owns his own vineyard. His book is entitled I Think Therefore I Play, a twist on the famous Descartes quote. I can’t imagine another athlete who would title their book

after a quote from a 16th century French philosopher. He also has one of the sexiest beards in all of the world, only rivaled by our Copy Editor Joel MacKenzie’s.

Andrea Pirlo is like a Michelangelo sculpture; one of a kind. He is a playmaker the likes of which we may never see again. I speak for all soccer fans when I say I hope he continues on for a few more years.

SFU gave up 347 yards passing on the night.

The Wildcats continued to dominate on offense, as they would score two more touchdowns to close out the half, putting the score to 35–0.

It was a tough rest of the game for the Clan offense as the Wildcat defense continued to sack the quarterback and hold the offense to fourth down. With Josh Hayden out of the game due to injury, freshmen David Lagou stepped up to take on the Clan’s rushing duties; however, he was only be able to amass 25 yards on 15 rushing attempts.

A commanding lead forced the Wildcats to play many of

Austin Cozicar / The Peak

their second string players as the second half wore on. The young and injured Clan team would rally to win a second half point differential of 7–5, but would still claim a loss against a conference opponent.

Back-up quarterback Tyler Nickel was able to connect with the speedster Earl Anderson on a 55-yard touchdown pass early in the fourth quarter to keep the game from being a shutout.

SFU will take the week to heal their wounds and look to get their first win of the season at home on October 10 against Dixie State (1–3).

The men’s cross country team finished eighth at the Stanford Cross Country Invitational on Saturday, September 28. The team was initially disqualified for losing their numbered side bibs during the race, but after protest, the team was reinstated and claimed eighth.

A number of SFU student athletes were named Great Northwest Athletic Conference Players of the Week. Chris Crisologo was named after finishing second in the Western Washington Invitational with five under through three rounds. Justin Herdman was named after recording 13 tackles, four of which were for losses. Rebecca Bassett was named the best Division II runner at the Stanford Invitational.

22 SPORTS

“We’ve had games this year, many of them where we played well, but we haven’t been rewarded, because we haven’t finished chances. We finished [those] chances tonight.”

Thursday night at a late 7:30 kickoff, the men’s soccer team cruised to a 4–0 victory over the St. Martin Saints. After a poor start to the season by their lofty expectations, it was a breath of fresh air to see the team dominate for a full 90 minutes.

“We played well,” said Head Coach Clint Schneider after the game. “We deserved to win the game by that margin. It’s good for our guys to get rewarded for playing well.

SFU came out roaring out of the gates from the opening kickoff.

In the sixth minute, forward Michael North hit the post, and the ensuing rebound was blocked. But the Clan was not to be denied. A few minutes later, midfielder Mamadi Camara calmly put the ball in the bottom corner to give his team an early lead. He was the obvious choice for MVP of the match,

October 5, 2015

adding two goals and dominating the midfield throughout the game.

SFU then started to exploit the flanks, with Calvin Opperman cutting inside to get a scoring chance and Adam Jones scoring from a cross which was ruled offside.

Brandon Watson seemed to injure himself in the 21st minute, but carried on for the rest of the game and looked fine when keeping the clean sheet.

Camara’s second goal in the 37th was a brilliant individual effort; he darted through four Saint Martin defenders before burying the ball in the back of the net. He scored both goals to give SFU a 2–0 lead heading into halftime.

SFU picked up right where they left off when play resumed for the second half. Four minutes in, Michael North bolted down the left wing and calmly buried his chance, rolling the ball right through the opposing goalie’s legs. SFU added a fourth later on, with Kyle Jones finishing off a beautifully worked goal that featured many one-touch passes. Goalie Brandon Watson had to make a couple of nice saves in between the two Clan tallies.

With four goals on the board, this was an attempt by committee to try and replace the offensive output that was lost with the departure of Jovan Blagojevic.

“We’re never going to fill the hole that Jovan left,” said head coach Schneider. “I’m just glad we score goals in bunches. That’s the SFU way, that’s the way it’s always been even prior to Jovan scoring as many goals as he did.

“That’s the way we played, and when we made runs, that’s how we won games, by scoring in bunches.”

With a dominating performance under their belts, Schneider hopes this can be used as a “springboard game” for future success that fans of the team have come to expect.

After an embarrassing 5–0 loss on Saturday, September 26, which saw the team surrender five goals in the first 15 minutes of the game, the Clan were happy to take a 1–0 victory against the Montana State University-Billings (MSUB) Yellowjackets Thursday night.

“I was looking forward to how they were going to bounce back, if that was going to affect them, and honestly this is the best football they’ve played all season,” said Head Coach Annie Hamel. “Again, it’s a young group and they didn’t let those 18 minutes [last game] define them, they just came back with a vengeance today and played smart and hard soccer. I was very proud of them.”

For much of the first half, SFU dominated the pace of play, with a number of clear chances to take the lead.

Though possession belonged to the Clan for much of the half, it was thanks to a few key saves by Priya Sandhu — particularly a shot 13:40 into the game — that temporarily kept it a scoreless affair.

Moments later, in the 17th minute, SFU forward Olivia Aguiar netted the only goal of the match, with assists on the

play from freshman forward Katelyn Erhardsen and sophomore defender Mikela Fong.

Despite a series of chances from both teams, neither team could get on the scoreboard for the rest of the match. The second half played like a highlight reel of quality chances for the Clan that just wouldn’t go in.

SFU did appear to have a second goal, however, it was waved off due to an offside.

This meant the Clan had to close out the game with a nerve–wracking one goal lead.

With 29 seconds left, SFU was called for a foul, and MSUB got a chance to tie up the game on a free kick, but was cleared by the Clan’s backline.

Goalkeeper Priya Sandhu was perfect, making three saves, and her fifth shutout of the season.

The Clan are now 4–1–2 overall and 2–1–1 in the conference, good for third place — impressive for a team that since 2010 hasn’t had more than two wins in a season. However, one issue that the team does face is an inability to convert chances into goals — having only scored more than one goal in a game once this season, in a total of seven games.

“I thought we possessed the ball very well, our movement of the ball was very good, our shape was very good, we created a lot of opportunities,” said Hamel.

“But again the same story is we’re not finishing them, [in] these one goal games, our rate is not high enough in terms of the chances we create compared to the chances we put away, so that’s got to get better.

“We need to give the backline and Priya a cushion.”

HUMOUR

Can you believe your favourite student newspaper turns 50 this issue?

To celebrate, we scoured the expansive archives and compiled some of the highs and lows of the last 50 years. We also took a stab at guessing some of the happenstances from the next 50, in an attempt to play God/predict the future.

In an attempt to revisit SFU’s activist roots, The Peak changes its page name on Facebook to “The No Enbridge Peak.”

Simon Fraser University first opens its doors. Booooring.

Let’s jump over to the good part where we talk about The Peak.

In an attempt to impress his female classmate, a senior at SFU begins a lie that he’s an editor for the school newspaper. Eventually it escalates to him having two options: come clean to his classmate and reveal that the school didn’t have a newspaper, or start one from scratch. Thus, The Peak was born.

New kid/resident bad boy Andrew Petter rides a motorcycle onto Burnaby campus and straight into The Peak’s heart, igniting the greatest will-they-won’t-they love story of all time.

Radio station CKBW-FM switches to call sign CKPK-FM and rebrands itself as The Peak, ensuring that no mention of The Peak newspaper would ever go without confusion over if someone is referring to the radio station or the publication. (Thanks, Peak.)

The Peak celebrates 50 years as one of the largest and boldest student newspapers in Canada. They commemorate the occasion with lots of cake that the Editor-in-Chief buys his staff after he finishes editing this article.

Have you ever wondered what the story was behind the little quotes and sayings that populate our dayto-day conversations? No? Too bad, I’ve already started writing the article and you can’t stop this kind of momentum. Read on to learn more about the most commonly used misquotes and malphrases. Also note that while the Humour section is generally reserved for fake news and other funny exaggerations, these origins are 100 per cent factual. Quips aside, you may actually learn something from this piece.

“Blood is thicker than water”: this one’s a poor rehash of the quote, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” The original meaning is

humour editor email

October 5, 2015

The Peak launches its first ever app, which allows the newspaper to be downloaded directly into your cerebral cortex, as well as access to exclusive binary code content.

the exact opposite to how it is commonly used today. Evidently the blood of most people who use this phrase nowadays is too thick, since it can’t even reach their heads (that’s also how you have a stroke).

“Head over heels”: the phrase is actually an inverse of the original 14th-century saying, “heels over head,” which described doing a cartwheel or somersault. The first known usage of the phrase as we know it now was in 1771 in Contemplative Man by Herbert Lawrence. Thanks, Herb [eye roll].

“Jack of all trades, master of none”: it’s only half of the saying. Part two goes, “but better than a master of one.” Here’s looking at you, filthy casuals.

“Ignorance is bliss”: if you want to remain blissful of how this quote actually goes, then avert your eyes — the full quote is actually, “When ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise.”

“My country, right or wrong”: quite the edit in actuality, the original quote (written

by Carl Shurz in 1872) is, “My

The Peak editors travel back in time to 1978 to prevent the then-time travelling Peak editors from preventing The Peak from not being born. (Just trust us on this one.)

country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.” However, the latter is tougher to use to justify going to war, so naturally it tends to go underutilized.

“Money is the root of all evil”: money might be the root of some evil, such as Ed Hardy shirts and plastic scrotum decals for the back of your truck, but it’s not the root of them all; the actual quote is “The love of

23

Jacey Gibb humour@the-peak.ca

The Peak staff travel back in time to ensure the initial group of editors meet/secure the newspaper’s existence in the future.

While taking a shower, The Peak discovers its first grey hair.

The Peak is officially accepted as a society on campus on the condition they never host a carwash or wear speedos on campus again.

In an attempt to raise funds and financial autonomy for itself, The Peak editors host a carwash fundraiser to dismal results.

Humour becomes the first section to be run and edited by a robot. New Humour Editor Ziplex 3000 uses a special algorithm to perfect human humour, and also makes a mean listicle.

money is a root of all kinds of evil,” i.e. Ed Hardy et al.

“The ends justify the means”: a very liberal rephrasing of the Niccolo Machiavelli quote, “One must consider the final result.”

Ironically the final result seemed to have been the last thing on the translator’s mind when they botched the quote.

“S’ils n’ont plus de pain, qu’ils mangent de la brioche” or traditionally translated as

“If they have no bread, let them eat cake”: the infamous “quote” from Queen Marie Antoinette was never actually said by Antoinette herself. It was written by Jean-Jacques Rousseau in Confessions, and was later attributed to Antoinette through anti-royalty propaganda. I think we can all agree that cake is infinitely tastier, though.

“Curiosity killed the cat”: another half quote, the second part goes “but satisfaction brought it back.” Admittedly the whole zombie trope is a bit overdone in the year 2015, so maybe we should just leave it at the feline being dead.

“I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”: many believe Voltaire to have said this in his essay on tolerance, but a more accurate translation would be, “Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too.” When it comes to misinterpreting Voltaire quotes, though, I revoke that privilege.

Shoddy translators don’t deserve basic human rights.

24 HUMOUR

October 5, 2015

HUMOUR

Just in time for your VIFF fatigue, here comes an even better V-led acronym festival: the 2015 Vancouver International Improv Festival, or VIIF. From October 6 to 10, catch over 40 different improv shows, including the comedic pairing of Lauren McGibbon and Angela Galanopoulos — also known as L.A. We caught up with Galanopoulos and McGibbon to discuss how duo improv differs from regular ensemble improv, drawing inspiration from real-life characters, and why Vancouverites need to get off their asses and check out more improv shows.

How did L.A. first come to be?

Angela Galanopoulos: It was a text message from Lauren. I barely knew her. . .

Lauren McGibbon: Okay, I just want to talk about this moment.

It was love at first sight for me because I was in Vancouver TheatreSports League Rookie League and I wanted on Mainstage badly. It was my last Rookie League and Angie’s first Rookie League and when I saw her perform, it was like in Wayne’s World when he sees Tia Carrere for the first time. I was excited to work with her in Rookie League but then I got pulled up to Mainstage. So there was a place called Rowan’s Roof where you could do amateur and I saw Angela perform there. . .

AG: Later on that week, I received a text message from an unknown number and it read: “Hey, it’s Lauren from improv.

I think you’re really great and I think we should work together and if you don’t want to, then you can go fuck yourself.”

LM: As a joke!

AG: I loved it. I remember it was late at night and I looked at it and my heart melted in so many ways and I was like, “Yes, a thousand times yes.” I’d seen Lauren perform a bunch when I was starting out and I loved her style and I knew we just got each other.

There’s a quote about you two: “L.A. creates characters you’d want to be friends with.” How important is character development in improv, with so many fleeting, one-off characters?

October 5, 2015

LM: Earlier today we were talking about our format and how it’s evolved and what we want to do. For me, the way I hook in and get very present in an improv scene, and by extension the narrative and the storytelling in a scene, is through the character.

AG: The other piece to it is creating characters that are characters you want to see. No one wants to see a total douche on stage for 20 minutes, exploring Douche Town in that story.

We play with characters — that are inspired by elements of people we see in our lives and we interact with — that are charming in some way. You see something weird about a person and you try to translate that onstage and make it fun. That’s the part of character that’s also sustainable in a long-form set.

You both come from sprawling improv leagues (Instant Theatre, Vancouver TheatreSports League); aside from more stage time, how is performing as a duo different?

LM: It’s just the two of you.

If there’s even a third person, there’s someone who can be the outside eye of the scene and see what it needs. We have to do that while we’re in the thick of it. Duo work has to be incredibly connected to be successful, but since we’ve been doing this for two years we’re coming to the point where we’re so connected that we’re having the mischievous fun now. Like one of us will take a big, weird, nonsensical risk and we’re there for each other and connecting to the craziness of it. But it’s scary,

because you don’t have that extra man on the ship; we got a captain and a first-mate and we switch that role throughout the set, but there’s no one else.

We have to keep this ship going.

AG: There’s also the balance, too. Our formats follow a character or theme, so for a long time we just got a theme as a suggestion from the audience and explored that theme through different relationships. There’s this constant thing about how long do you stay in the scene for, does it have heat or doesn’t it, do you push through the uncomfortable and silent bits, or do you desert it and move onto the next thing? There’s a shitload going on in your mind while you’re still working at being present.

I like it because it’s a different muscle.

How does it feel to be part of Vancouver International Improv Festival 2015?

LM: It feels amazing to be part of it with Ang for the first time. We’ve been together for two years and feels like we’ve just been developing and getting to know each other, and being on stage together and improvising. This is the next chapter or the next phase in our working relationship and friendship, in that we’re hoping this is just the beginning and it’s the launching point to doing more festivals.

AG: I love ensemble work and I love Vancouver TheatreSports League, it’s the best job in the world, but there’s something really special about doing duo work and doing it with a woman who you totally adore.

Why should more people in Vancouver go to improv shows?

AG: We have a wonderful, thriving community right now. I don’t think the improv community has ever been bigger or better than it is.

So much of the great sketch comedy you see in town is derived from improvisers doing their work, because there’s a lot of obvious crossover. It’s live theatre that makes you feel good. And every show is unique. You will literally never see the same show twice.

LM: There’s something to be said for enjoying something that has never existed and will never exist again. I know for myself, because

25

I’m seldom present in everyday life, just not in the moment, and a really great shortcut to relaxing and enjoying being completely present is to go and watch an improv show.

There’s that magical wonderment of seeing something that’s gone once it’s gone. As improvisers, we get to experience that a lot, and we love it.

That’s why we’ve devoted our lives to it.

OPENS THIS WEEKEND IT’S OUR FAVOURITE TIME OF FEAR.

FRIGHT NIGHTS WESTERN CANADA’S SCARIEST HAUNT

POSSESSES

OCT 9 -NOV 1 (OPEN SELECT NIGHTS)

Admission includes unlimited access to

7 HAUNTED HOUSES RIDES, INCLUDING THE BEAST THE MONSTERS OF SCHLOCK GRUESOME COMEDY ACT upgrade to RADIANT HEAT a RAPID PASS to get into the Houses FIRE PERFORMANCE 15

and 5 Rides

FASTER!

STALK US ON

SAVE ON FRIGHTPASSES AT:

PNE _ PLAYLAND PNECLIPS

Monsters of Schlock will not be performing Oct 9-11

26 HUMOUR

October 5, 2015

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It’s an unfortunate reality that when school picks up and you’re multitasking like never before, the first thing to take a hit is usually your health. Things are only going to get worse from here, but we’ve got you covered with this list of quick, easy-to-do stretches that will have you feeling refreshed and like you’ve had at least four hours of sleep.

1. Anterior java lifts: The perfect way to start any day — or afternoon or night — all you need is a cup of coffee that’s big enough to comfortably seat a cantaloupe. Forming a 70 degree angle with your elbow (so that the cup is front of your lower chest), bring the cup to your mouth and slurp.

Remember to let out a satisfying “aaaah” after each slurp, then bring the cup down to chestlevel again. Repeat this stretch 20 to 100 times, taking time in between stretches to think about how scary society’s dependency on coffee is.

2. Horizontal body revolutions: You’ll want to lie down for this stretch, preferably on a bed, couch, futon, or some other comfortable surface where you’re planning on catching a few hours of shuteye. Laying horizontally on your back, close your eyes and begin entertaining the idea of sleep, but remember how many readings and assignments you have coming up, as well as how many shifts you’re scheduled for at work. Once the anxiety has settled in nicely, begin rolling arbitrarily from side to side, hoping that some position will offer comfortable relief from the worries of real life. Last, but certainly not least, make sure to fall asleep 15 minutes before your alarm goes off. Repeat daily.

3. The phalange flex: Using both hands, grip your mobile device on either side so that the screen is upwards and facing

you. Ensure that your monthly phone bill is too high, but also acknowledge that you’re too addicted to technology to ever consider not owning one. Primarily using your thumbs, begin sending text messages to whoever is mostly likely to have the least going on and thus will text you back almost instantly. For advanced stretchers, try doing the phalange flex while also walking; not only does this give your lower muscles an amazing stretch, but you’re more likely to walk into people when you’re texting, which provides additional endurance training.

4. Public cranial rotations: Most people don’t realize they can get a good stretch in even while they’re on the bus. For this one, all of your movement will

come from looking around for an empty seat for you to sit in.

The constant head turning and neck craning to find an open seat stretches your sternocleidomastoid, but be careful not to overdo it. Limit your cranial rotations to three minutes and then accept the unfortunate reality that you’re going to have to stand for the entire duration of your ride.

5. The forward-back snap: A great stretch for when you’re in tutorial or lecture, rest the elbow of your non-dominant hand on your desk and clench the same hand tightly into a fist. Rotate your head slightly and bring your body forward until your cheek is resting on the fist (or “rest” position). In your head begin daydreaming about what life would be like if your father had been action star Bruce Willis, then allow your mind to slip into unconsciousness for a brief moment.

Allow your body to drift slightly

forward as you briefly fall asleep, then awaken with a lurch. Return to proper rest position, then begin Willis-fantasizing again.

6. Intermediate extremity strengthening: The perfect exercise for stretching your deltoids, biceps, and patience. Locate a computer lab in the school, preferably a crowded one, and when you need to print something off in a hurry. After you’ve hit print on the computer and waited for several minutes, use your forearms and biceps to inspect the printer for anything that may be causing the delay. For this next part, remember that gradualness is key: using your flattened palm, smack the printer lightly, hoping that this will somehow resolve the problem. Repeat two more times, then clench the same hand and increase force exerted by 50 per cent for another eight hits. To end this stretch, step back with your left leg and bring your right leg up, ensuring a flat-footed contact against the printer. This will give your lower legs a bit of a stretch, while also delivering a critical blow to the technology that continues to test the patience of its creators.

DIVERSIONS / ETC

October 5, 2015

27

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Editor-in-Chief email

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October 5, 2015

to C

onvocation is supposed to be about education. It’s supposed to celebrate hard work and vision, to reflect on themes of transition, opportunity, and loss. It’s about the process of not only finishing university, but leaving it behind.

When I walked across the Convo Mall stage over three years ago, none of these ideas were on display. The ceremony itself amounted to an excruciatingly long and undeserved self back-pat about the wonderful path the university was treading — little more than a commercial for one man’s vision of tomorrow’s engaged SFU. The ceremony was irrelevant to the audience members, the vast majority of whom would never return to the school, narcissistically assuming they would care about the establishment’s goals and its progress toward them. The President’s main address said virtually nothing about learning, employment, success, or the value of an education.

Having put in (far) more than four years schooling in a Canadian university, this whimper of an ending felt very inappropriate.

Andrew Petter took over as SFU’s President only shortly before I left the school, but even by then the impact of his style of governance was apparent. His predecessor, Michael Stevenson, had been a University Bureaucrat in the classical sense, doubling down on research and graduate studies and arguably downplaying the importance of undergraduate education in the overall university culture. Stevenson had been an academic for basically his entire life, and he had very particular ideas about the way a campus ought to be run.

He also ruled mostly during a province-wide post-secondary tuition freeze, so undergrads couldn’t be farmed for dollars quite as easily as they are today.

At this time, though, Stevenson’s resistance to youth culture combined with a student population of disaffected commuters not only gave SFU a reputation as a decent place to take tests, but a terrible place to wrap up your adolescence. Draconian rules about things like alcohol and fraternities, and a Facilities Management team that almost explicitly hated the idea of events on the hill, meant that many talented students were choosing UBC or even more distant schools over languishing in Burnaby’s mountain-top prison of learning.

This lack of emphasis on undergraduate culture also meant that SFU was less able than most universities to culturally mask its swelling population of socially disconnected international students, whose numbers (and exorbitant tuition levels) were a source of growing controversy.

Then the university administration chose to move forward from Stevenson by hiring politician Andrew Petter. They needed someone who could handle the public as Stevenson never could, someone with an ability to change people’s perceptions and humanize otherwise opaque institutions.

They didn’t need a ‘crack’ administrator, nor someone with a powerful vision for education — what they needed was to rebrand.

In my time, this mentality culminated in a PR campaign called Envision SFU, which featured major initiatives like buying ads on the side of city buses. Visibly striving for the ‘engaged’ university became an end unto itself — not an attribute of a good school or an emergent property of wise governance, but a means of attacking the public perception of the name Simon Fraser.

In Petter’s view, the real problem didn’t seem to be the lack of culture but the perception of that lack. Change the perception and, as far as they’re concerned, the problem is fixed.

This is what happens when a university staffs itself with an increasingly greater proportion of politicians and marketing types.

It’s worth noting that Petter’s vapid, self-aggrandizing convocation speech was delivered without a hint of self-awareness; it’s not that he had so little respect for students that he didn’t care that he was making their convocation into an ad for his favorite committeeborn action item, it’s that he and those like him are so addled by the administrative culture that they genuinely seemed to have no idea what was happening.

Say what you want about Michael Stevenson’s vision of the university’s relationship to education — at least he seemed to have one.

When it only affects a convocation ceremony, these are fairly minor points. But the mentality that was so aggressively on display that day lays behind the university’s thinking on much more important issues. Much as it has at most other universities, the change in thinking has

bubbled up through labyrinthine boards and committees to affect everything from tutorial frequency, to faculty makeup, to bargaining goals with the ever-embattled TSSU. It all leads almost unavoidably to a culture that puts a greater emphasis on aesthetics than substance — which can even be quantified by the several hundred million dollars in deferred maintenance of SFU’s decaying infrastructure.

The university is now so obsessed with hiring people wellpositioned to liaise with public and private funding sources that administrators are molded by the priorities of other groups and institutions, more than by the needs of the university itself. A modern SFU President must be as concerned with the perceptions of wealthy realestate developers and Chinese parents as with overall student satisfaction. This leads to more and more positions requiring skillsets less and less relevant to education or research.

The staff who just-so-happen to have such ‘interpersonal’ skillsets are the very same people who have ruined (or perhaps been ruined by) the corporate and political worlds.

When a corporation loses institutional focus and begins frittering away resources on things indirectly related to its ‘goals,’ it’s the consumers and

shareholders who lose out.

Most alarmingly, this has culminated in a salary crisis that now reaches beyond just TAs to affect a huge proportion of the university’s teaching corps. If you aren’t old enough to have coexisted with tenure and you want to teach rather than research, this and virtually all other university administration views you as a cheap and expendable resource.

You are not an extension of its reason for existing, not an opportunity to spend on the university’s core goals, but a line item to be minimized like all others. There is a dishonest implication that savings put toward none d u c a t i o n - re l e vant initiatives will eventually create an overall university prosperity that will eventually re-strengthen education once again — but that second part somehow never seems to materialize.

This is not what is supposed to happen when SFU’s current President emphasizes community engagement. Engagement is supposed to be in pursuit of something.

Andrew Petter certainly didn’t create any of the issues I’m talking about, but for his role in allowing them to utterly ruin that moment of convocation for so many people, he’ll be associated with them in my mind for the rest of my life.

Graham Templeton was Opinions Editor at The Peak from Spring 2009–Fall 2011. He now works as a freelance science and technology writer, with work featured in Vice, ExtremeTech, the Huffington Post, and more. Follow @ GrahamTempleton for updates.