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FIRST PEEK

November 23, 2015

EDITOR’S VOICE

SFU’s culture of confessions obscures mental health issues

Lisa Dimyadi / The Peak

“Not sure what to do at this point, I’m very depressed.”

“For some reason, I feel much more comfortable knowing people don’t know how much I really suffer. They must think I’m some happy idiot when all I really want is to die.”

These are posts on SFU Confessions, a Facebook page that lets students submit anonymous confessions which range from humorous asides about transit etiquette violations to troubling stories of suicide attempts, depression, and anxiety.

At the time of publication, the page has 16,631 likes. For comparison, SFU has 26,494 students.

Confessions pages have sprung up at university campuses across Canada and the USA. The appeal of such pages is clear: they appease our voyeuristic tendencies by offering an intimate glimpse into someone else’s life.

However, these pages also serve a much more worrisome purpose.

When outlets like SFU Confessions become the default place for students to unload their feelings, meaningful dialogues about mental health are undermined.

There are two characteristics of these outlets that render them incapable of helping students deal with mental health issues.

The first characteristic is anonymity. My generation in particular is quite attached to anonymity, assuming that when people can say what they want, they

will say what they feel. However, when dealing with mental health, anonymity is problematic.

If individuals are encouraged to only share their struggles when they can fear no social repercussions, then instead of challenging the belief that talking about mental health is shameful or embarrassing, it perpetuates that stigma. Instead of being able to put a face to mental health issues, there remains a shroud of secrecy.

Expressing your feelings in an honest way is a crucial first step, but progress is difficult when subsequent communication is a one-way road. On most university confessions pages each post is often commented on by multiple individuals expressing banal statements of support or unspecific advice.

That is the extent of the dialogue that can take place. Do commenters online know you personally? Can they offer a friendly ear to listen to your problems, or even a warm hug?

I don’t mean to be cynical but I doubt all those who comment of confessions pages are altruistic; whenever social media is involved, even things that seem positive can become performative and stink of self-righteousness.

In no way do I oppose SFU Confessions or discourage individuals from sending messages to the page. Rather, I think that its popularity should raise concerns

among the student population about how we are coming to terms with mental health issues.

Instead, I encourage SFU students to seek out support from those around you, whether it be from friends, mentors, family, or mental health resources on campus. Have a face-to-face discussion with someone and be honest and genuine. The who isn’t important; it’s the how that matters.

Telling people how you feel is terrifying, and that’s the way it should be. Opening up to someone and being vulnerable is daunting but that’s what makes it meaningful. Reaching out to support systems or trying to create them is a positive step in coming to terms with how you’re feeling. Most importantly, it relies on genuine relationshipbuilding and honest connections being formed.

Mental health is a pressing concern on our campus, and on campuses across the continent.

A study from Psychology Today on US college students found that “50 per cent of students rated their mental health below average or poor” and “one in three students had reported prolonged periods of depression.” If the student population wants to change those numbers, we need more than a social media page that pays lip service to mental health issues without any real engagement. We need to work on the mental health resources available.

But the real change comes with a personal commitment to seek fulfillment — not in the digital space, but in real life. All it takes is a simple, “Hey, can I talk to you about something?”

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NEWS

November 23, 2015

news editor email

Melissa Roach news@the-peak.ca

associate news editor

Jamal Dumas

Noted academic and activist Jonathan Katz will be presenting a lecture on “How AIDS Changed American Art” at the Goldcorp Centre for the Arts on Thursday, November 26.

Co-organized by the Queer Arts Festival and SFU’s Vancity Office of Community Engagement, the lecture will focus on the exhibit, ART/AIDS/AMERICA, currently on display at the Tacoma Art Museum.

SFU professor and renowned bee expert Mark Winston has just been awarded with the Governor General’s Literary Award for Nonfiction for his latest book, Bee Time: Lessons from the Hive.

Bee Time offers an insight into Winston’s work with bees over his lifetime, the issues that threaten bees in today’s world, and what we can learn from our buzzing insect friends about how we interact with nature and our own personal lives.

Winston has been at SFU for 35 years. After running a bee

laboratory at the university and teaching in the SFU Biology Department for several years, he became the first director of SFU’s Centre for Dialogue and founded the ongoing Semester in Dialogue program in 2002.

Despite his long tenure spent at the Centre for Dialogue, Winston said, “I missed bees.” His ties to the beekeeping community and his own continued interest in the animal led him to author Bee Time, which was published in October 2014.

The bee-scholar expressed his desire to contribute something to the world of bees and to address the issues that wild bees and honey bees are facing today.

“Bees are facing kind of the perfect storm of human-induced problems,” he said, explaining this storm as “a complex mix of our policies around how we grow food.”

The current state of agriculture involves large acreages that only yield one type of crop.

This lack of diversity leads to

nutritional deficiency issues for bees, which Winston compared to “going into the supermarket and finding nothing but bananas.”

He added that bees are also suffering from the introduction of various disease carrying pests, as well as an exposure to “innumerable” pesticides. “All these things interact together to bring down both the wild bee and the honey bee populations,” explained Winston. “Really, it’s a very broadly-based issue about how we conduct agriculture.”

Bee Time delivers a multitude of lessons that Winston has learned from his time working with and studying bees — some environmental and some personal. He emphasized a need to reevaluate how we interact with nature and aim to strike a balance that doesn’t lead to what he sees as overmanagement. “We really need to back off the extent to which we’ve managed the world around us and learn to live in more harmony,” expressed Winston.

He also spoke to the sort of lessons to be learned from bees about

how we carry out our day-to-day lives and interact with each other: “There’s a whole series of personal lessons where I talk about how we can learn from bees to be more present to the world around us, to focus better, to work collaboratively.”

On his blog, Winston posted about how he landed on “Bee Time: Lessons from the Hive” as title for the book. He explained, “‘Bee time’ refers to how time slows down in the apiary, alluding to that sense of presence and focus that beekeepers adopt when working their colonies.

“When we enter bee time, we find that bees are an extraordinary lens through which to view ourselves.”

A voracious reader and longtime follower of the Governor General’s literary awards, Winston was deeply moved to be recognized on a list of literary works he has appreciated for so long.

“To find myself on that list, to think that I’m contributing someway to the literary well-being of our country, it means a lot.”

On November 26, McGill University professor Karl Moore will be presenting “Introverts in the Executive Suite” at the Segal Graduate School of Business.

Moore will look at how introverts function in leadership positions and what challenges they face, based on over 100 interviews conducted with leading executives who are introverted themselves.

SFU’s Venture Connection and VentureLabs will host a free workshop, the fifth in a series, to help fledgling businesses develop a competitive business model.

The workshop, to be held on Monday November 23 at Harbour Centre, hopes to show how a business model can be “sustainable” and “replicable” throughout a business’ growth.

NEWS

Two SFU students are being recognized for their contribution to international education.

Mubanga Ngosa and Danish Soomro, former Fraser International College (FIC) students, who are now studying at SFU, are being awarded the Elizabeth Paterson Award for international Student Leadership in International Education by Canadian Bureau of International Education.

The award is given to an international student or student group who contributes in a positive way to the internationalization of education. They were nominated by SFU’s FIC for their work co-managing the FIC Peer Education Program and will be traveling to Toronto to receive their award end of this month.

Ngosa is majoring in software systems, while Soomro is a business major. In an interview with The Peak, Mubanga spoke about the elements of their program and how they have come so far.

The Peak: How did the program gain recognition initially?

Mubanga Ngosa: Initially, the peer education program won the award for best student led program for 2015, a few months ago. We went to Whistler

November23, 2015

to receive that award and from that I think they recognized that our work was actually doing something fundamental and thus, they awarded the program leaders for student leadership.

P: What is the program about?

MN: Our peer education program is very similar to the Student Learning Commons at SFU. It’s almost the same; they mirror each other to quite some extent.

So with the program, what we do is we get students to come in who need academic help with a particular course.

The students who help the other students would have achieved at least an A- in the same course. So it’s just like a study together system. Mostly, we operate by a drop-in system, so students are always welcome. Well, the program has a lot of people. It can have anywhere from 20 to about 100 students volunteering for it in any given semester.

P: How long have you been associated with this program?

MN: We’ve been involved with the program for about two and half years. We were at FIC when we joined the program.

P: What are some other aspects of the program?

MN: The other things that we do a lot is basically trying to make other people comfortable with being intellectual, so as to speak.

You don’t always have to feel pressur[ed] into always constantly studying. It’s more of a fun environment where you can actually learn. One of our associates came up with the word “edutainment,” so it’s like education/ entertainment. We try to centre somewhere around this.

P: Has there been any particular learning experience which stands out as a milestone?

MN: Well, the entire process is a learning experience since we are international students who have just come into a new country, settling into a new culture — and we are given this opportunity with

responsibility and we are constantly trying to build on that.

To single out a particular event, we had to throw a Halloween themed event at FIC, which was not particularly related to academics, but it was large-scale and we had media coming into the school to cover the event

— and that was sort of outside our comfort zone and it helped us to grow as a team.

P: Do you have any particular message for readers?

MN: Be yourself and be confident to stand out. Just have fun with your experiences and hopefully, you’ll get to your destination.

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6 NEWS

Getting a mosquito bite in the Metro Vancouver area just got more risky. Aedes japonicus, an invasive mosquito that can transmit several viral diseases, has been found for the first time in Western Canada, in Maple Ridge.

Peter Belton, a retired biologist at SFU, was one of the researchers who identified the Aedes japonicus mosquitos in BC’s Lower Mainland. They were found breeding in water in a backyard.

The species can transmit West Nile virus, three types of encephalitis, and Chikungunya, a disease prevalent in Asia that recently made appearances in the Caribbean and the southern United States.

This particular mosquito is an invasive species, originating in Asia but having spread around the world. In 2001,

The value of the West Coast’s commercial salmon fisheries has dropped from $263 million to $24 million since the 1990s.

Research shows this is due to a decline in endangered populations of salmon.

Enhancing Production in Coho: Culture, Community, Catch (EPIC4), a new four-year research project co-led by SFU geneticist Willie Davidson, aims to answer some of the questions that surround the Coho salmon through genetics.

By understanding the genetics of the Coho, Davidson and his team aim to help reopen the

November 23, 2015

this species was found in King County Washington, and in 2008 specimens were collected in southern Washington and Oregon. The larvae are often found developing in rainwater in used car tires sitting stagnant for an extended period of time.

Belton discussed how the mosquito got introduced to these new environments: “This one arrived in the eastern US in 1998, probably as eggs in used car tires, imported from Japan or Korea for retreading. It probably got to Europe the same way in 2000.”

He continued, “It has spread to 33 adjacent eastern states and five Canadian provinces since then. We think humans are responsible for the long distances, but the mosquitoes can probably fly for shorter hops.”

The species has also been found 13 kilometers from Maple Ridge, in Mission. Researchers have since concluded that there are at least two populations in the Lower Mainland. The mosquito’s larvae were first identified in July 2014 in Maple Ridge, and since the beginning of 2015, more than 200 have been counted.

commercial Coho salmon fishery that closed down in 1999 and revive aquaculture on Canada’s Pacific coast.

Currently, very little is known about the genetic makeup of the Coho salmon. One of the goals of the project is to establish the genome of the species. Along with

The Peak asked Belton whether the increase in the population of Aedes japonicus in North America increases the risk of disease transmission.

“Yes, obviously there is more chance of a female [mosquito] acquiring a virus from an infected (viraemic) bird or mammal. It is thought to be transmitting La Crosse virus in the southern Appalachians,” said Belton.

The mosquito could become a significant threat to both animal and human health if global warming continues to increase, as this will impact the distribution of the diseases the mosquito can carry.

“Higher temperatures increase the biting rates and activity of the mosquitoes, and also increase the development of viruses” said Belton.

Belton explained that “We need to monitor with traps or by sampling containers (roadside catch basins are often used for this). If a virus appears, larvae can be controlled with specific bacteria.”

While there is no evidence so far that Aedes japonicus is transmitting disease, taking these precautions could prevent a public health risk.

establishing the Coho genome, the goal of the project is to look into how the Coho salmon compares with the Atlantic salmon, whose genome has already been established.

The researchers hope that comparing the two genomes will help them gain insight into what the foundational differences

between the Coho and Atlantic salmon are. “Looking at Coho, we know there are many differences and yet many similarities between Coho and Atlantic salmon,” said Davidson. “Can we put genomic, genetic basis for that?”

Davidson’s focus on genetics could help shed light on what drives the salmon to behave in the manner that they do. Coho spend one year after birth in freshwater; they will then swim downstream to saltwater, stay there for one to two years, and finally return to the same stream in which they were born to spawn and then die.

There is no clear explanation of why the salmon follow this pattern, and by looking at the genes of the Coho, the researchers hope to establish if the species is better adapted to fresh or saltwater. This could lead to the establishment of a comprehensive conservation strategy.

Another reason to look at how genes relate to a Coho’s life

history is to figure out how the salmon deal with stress in their upstream migration.

Coho salmon have spawning migrations of various lengths and as a result can travel up streams and rivers that have had very little human impact.

However, some Coho migrate into the interior of the province through rivers that have been heavily dammed for hydroelectric power projects.

It isn’t yet understood how these migratory challenges affect the salmon, but if the study gains insight into how the Coho react to these stressors, there is hope that the stocks that migrate into the interior of the province can be improved.

When asked about what he would consider the most exciting potential outcome of the project, Davidson replied, “I think understanding the basic biology and understanding the marine survival would be the biggest kick that I could get out of it.”

NEWS

The SFSS Board of Directors moved to allocate $2,014.85 from the Health Plan Reserve Fund to cover the repatriation costs of a student who passed away in early September.

Repatriation is the process by which a body is returned to its original place of citizenship. Since the current coverage does not cover the cost associated with the process, the student’s family was stuck with a large bill.

Said VP University Relations Darwin Binesh, “This is really a nice gesture on our part.” The board unanimously carried the motion, and interest was expressed in looking into the current plan covering these costs in the future.

The exit reports from the 2014–2015 board of directors are to be made available on the society’s website.

VP External Relations Kathleen Yang explained that every year prior to the last, the exit reports were posted online without going through an official board motion.

In a special circumstance, the 2013–2014 board reports were not posted as usual since they contained confidential information that was stricken for public posting.

Yang brought this motion to the table, “for the sake of posterity,” to set the standard of publishing reports for future boards.

November23, 2015

An international partnership took SFU President Andrew Petter and VP Research Joy Johnson to Beijing earlier this month. During the visit, a Memorandum of Agreement was signed between the university and Beijing-based Hanhai Zhiye Investment Management Group. The partnership is intent on helping Canadian and Chinese startups grow into successful businesses.

The agreement has led to SFU-Hanhai China-Canada Commercialization Acceleration Network (C2-CAN). The group Hanhai Zhiye, a partner with SFU, is a “high-tech conglomerate” with incubators in China, Silicon Valley, and Germany.

C2-CAN will allow Canadian startups at SFU VentureLabs to relocate for periods of time to Beijing, and will also allow startups in China to relocate to Vancouver. According to Johnson, C2-CAN could provide “an opportunity for a ‘soft landing,’ an opportunity for business to really find their feet, and to explore whether there might be opportunities for them to develop new markets” in the two corners of the globe.

Johnson described incubators such as C2-CAN as “an opportunity for any student to get a great business idea, and work with mentors, and develop them into a venture that might actually have some profitability. [. . .] We’ve had a number of students actually do that.”

The program will run through SFU but will be open to all Canadian startups, not just those associated with SFU faculty or students. The Beedie School of Business in particular has shown interest in incubators, and in business in Asia.

However, said Johnson, “While there’s a lot of students in Beedie interested in [innovation and entrepreneurship], there’s a lot of students across the university also interested.”

A focus area for C2-CwAN will be sustainability and the development of clean technology. Johnson noted that China in particular faces

environmental problems such as low air quality, and that SFU has “expertise in this area.” Despite a focus on clean technology, C2CAN will be open to all types of ventures.

While Johnson could not provide an exact estimate as to the costs SFU would incur, she said, “Actually, right now it’s going to cost us very little.” She went on to say that the space that would be given to Hanhai in VentureLabs was already owned by the university and that the university would be offered similar space in Hanhai’s facilities in Beijing. She said that the university expects travel costs for this year to be under $50,000.

Both SFU and Hanhai might have opportunities to receive financial benefits from C2-CAN. Johnson explained that when businesses approach C2-CAN, agreements are entered into “about taking stake in that venture,” and in some circumstances the venture might pay back C2-CAN for services rendered, or pay back a portion of their profits.

“The idea is that ultimately we would move ourselves into a situation of sustainability,” said Johnson.“I’ll be clear. It’s not the job of the university to be ‘making a lot of money.’”

When asked whether Hanhai had any connection to the Chinese government, Johnson responded, “I cannot answer that, but all I can say about that is every company in China has relationships with the Chinese government.”

Hanhai Chairman Wang Hanguang is a Senior Expert in the Ministry of Science and Technology, and photographs on Hanhai’s website showing Hanhai representatives at a

reception for the Communist Party point to potential ties with China’s ruling party. The California Life Sciences Association classifies Hanhai as a “sovereign wealth fund.”

Johnson commented on potential concerns in regards to working with a company possibly connected to the Chinese government: “At this point we haven’t had

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discussions specifically about it, in part because we haven’t really gotten into the meat of any specific agreements, but certainly all of those issues are going to have get sorted out over time.

“It’s an opportunity, but it is not an opportunity without risks as well, and I think we all recognize that.”

However, according to Johnson, the project has the potential to benefit not only SFU students and researchers, but also Vancouver as a whole. Hanhai’s incubators in China have so far been successful. Said Johnson of the incubators she and Petter visited in Beijing: “They are housing a number of companies and large companies now that have become very, very successful.”

Ultimately C2-CAN falls under SFU Innovates, the new university-wide innovation strategy that places emphasis on growing the existing incubators at SFU. She expanded, “We are interested in this at SFU in part because we are committed to what gets referred to as ‘knowledge mobilization’: taking great ideas and doing something with them.”

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8 NEWS

The fifth annual TEDxSFU conference opened to a packed audience at the Vancouver Playhouse theatre on the evening of Sunday, November 15.

The event was based off of the internationally renowned TED ( Technology, Entertainment, and Design) talks, in which innovative and inspirational speakers speak on topics they are passionate about.

The conference was an independently organized TED event put together by a local group of passionate SFU students and alumni volunteers.

Topics were broached by 12 speakers under the theme “Connect the Dots.” They voiced their ideas on environmentalism, mental health, the education system, and consumerism, to name a few. Many presenters spoke from the heart, using their own personal stories to support

November 23, 2015

the new ideas they had for tackling issues that have long been part of human experience.

Speaker Bryce Evans, for instance, spoke about his own personal struggles with depression and anxiety, and how photography became his means of expressing himself. He spoke about creating a community support network for those who were struggling with these issues: “Depression can feel like drowning, but we need to remember that we all share the same air.”

Food critic Erin Ireland used her experiences within the food industry to point out the meat bias in the coverage of food media, and also highlighted how animal consumption was responsible for several of the world’s environmental problems.

Documentary filmmaker Craig Cerith talked about his son’s experiences using the natural environment as his classroom in the uniquely structured Environmental School Project, in which students had experiential learning opportunities in the forest, surrounded by nature.

TEDxSFU also highlighted the accomplishments of current students, as fourth-year sociology student Zoya Jiwa took the stage to speak about founding her website, As We Are: an

online fashion community for those who are living with health conditions.

Jiwa spoke of her personal struggles with Lupus disease, an autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks healthy tissue, and fibromyalgia, a disorder that causes chronic muscle pain and tenderness on several areas of the body. These conditions caused her to repurpose her wardrobe with loose-fitting clothes that would

cause her the least amount of pain.

She now uses As We Are to “create a shift in our dialogue, [and] change the current negative mindset of me versus my body,” she says.

These were only a few of the inspiring presenters who spoke at this year’s event, but they all had diverse backgrounds, passions, and presentation styles that made for a wellrounded conference.

Audience members were allowed to participate with the

conference’s theme as well; each attendee could write on a paper dot what made them unique and stick it on a wall with other dots.

Attendees were also encouraged to mingle and had the opportunity to engage with speakers about their presentations during breaks.

TEDxSFU showed through the moving stories of its speakers that change can be effected by forging social bonds, and “connecting the dots” between people.

Grey Cup festival hosted at University of Winnipeg

UBC students film “Hotline Bling” parodies to convince Drake to perform [VANCOUVER] – The University of British Columbia has begun a campaign to persuade Drake to perform at their school by filming clips of them dancing to his hit song “Hotline Bling.” And that could only mean one thing: Drake’s Twitter account was tweeted at with 720 videos of students in a 12 hour period. That’s one video per minute. Your move, Drizzy.

[WINNIPEG] – From November 26–28, the University of Winnipeg’s campus will host the Grey Cup Festival, a series of public and free events, to commemorate the 103rd CFL Grey Cup. Festivities will include CFL cheerleaders, a visit from Santa, musical performances, and a fireworks finale.

With files from MyToba & NewsCentre

Harris Institute for Arts criticizes political correctness in academics [TORONTO] – This Spring, students and staff of the Harris Institute in Toronto will not only face probation if they “shout down an opposing view,” but they could be removed from the school completely. The Institute’s founder John Harris stated in an interview with Metro News: “You shouldn’t have limits on what can be discussed.”

With files from UPI With files from BuzzFeed

OPINIONS

November 23, 2015

It’s writer’s block, I say to myself. So, I decide the best cure for this is to binge Entourage for, well, three and a half hours.

When I finish the series, I return to my blank word document. I thought I could argue about Entourage, or the song I’m listening

to, and watch the words appear magically on the screen.

My problem is that I can’t give reasons for why something is particularly awesome or why it’s just horrible. Half the time anything I say is just because I feel that way. There’s no real logic behind it; and realistically, nobody wants to read, “Entourage is a great show.

Yup. That’s all.”

I don’t understand why I can’t get anything down on paper.

When did backing up what we say become so difficult? Perhaps it wasn’t until I started writing for The Peak at the beginning of this semester that I realized this.

It’s also noteworthy to understand that these opinion pieces are supposed to range from 450 to 550 words. That’s a lot of words for one opinion, don’t you think?

Do people even have 500 words to say? Do people even read 500 words for something that isn’t for class? Or even if it is for class?

On the other hand, let’s say you’re passionate about something specific. When Adam, the

lovely Opinions Editor, approves it for writing, you’re overjoyed!

Best day ever, am I right? But then the follow-up e-mail pops up 12 minutes later: “Oh, and please keep it to a 500 word maximum.”

Here come the waterworks.

By this point, you’re already a solid 763 words into an introduction on how Brussels sprouts have changed your life, and now you’re crying as you try to cut it down. The problem is that everything you’ve written seems important. Your tears fill up the bowl of Brussels sprouts you’ve been munching on. You like it, so you write a little bit more. When you get to your 2,674 word count, you submit it, explaining to Adam you just didn’t know how to hone it. YOLO, you think.

Whether or not Adam decides to actually print that content, you feel fulfilled. You feel accomplished, you feel completed, you feel good.

Where to now? You’ve already written about what you care about the most, and now you’re stuck scrambling for ideas by yourself since all of Adam’s weekly story pitches have been taken. You remain uninspired, but you love to write, so now you’re stuck.

to avoid intentionally feuding with Jesus; look, if he can turn water into wine, what’s stopping him from reducing every PSL to plain black coffee and destroying their profits? But I digress.

The temperature might be dropping more quickly than the newest mixtape, but spirits are rising: The holiday season is upon us, and every shop worth their salt is already making changes to suit the soon-to-be festive air. Unfortunately, there’s no stopping people from getting a little salty over changes that offend their sensibilities.

Recently, Starbucks unveiled this year’s solid-red holiday cups; now, it looks like quite a few people

are seeing red. The absence of obvious Christmas-themed imagery has sparked some serious accusations; namely, that the company is adding to America’s war on Christianity; or that it “hates Jesus,” as evangelist Joshua Feuerstein of Arizona so eloquently phrased it on Facebook.

Likeminded Starbucks customers have taken to boycotting the company in a multitude of ways. Some have chosen to stop buying their drinks entirely; others have been going out of their way to call themselves “Merry Christmas” when asked what name should be scrawled onto their cups, ‘tricking’ baristas into adorning the cups with Christmas cheer.

Feuerstein blames political correctness for the alleged heresy, claiming that “we [have] become so open-minded [that] our brains have literally fallen out of our head.”

Personally, I think the people in charge at Starbucks are smart

My peers have always thought of me as an opinionated person, since I always have something to say on just about anything. But now, as I sit at my computer picking my brain for something to write about, I remain at a loss for words.

Say we do, in fact, interpret this year’s cups’ design as an attempt to be less obviously inclined towards one holiday and more inclusive in general. Why is that a bad thing? Are the naysayers so unwilling to tolerate the reality that other belief systems exist that they’re boycotting a coffee company over their cups?

opinions editor email

Adam Van der Zwan opinions@the-peak.ca

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And when you start writing about how difficult it is to write an op-ed, that’s officially when your creative juices have hit rock bottom, unless adding those Brussels sprouts to your

daily green smoothie regiment really did spark some new creativity in you.

Either way, I recommend you watch some Entourage. It’s a great show. Yup. That’s all.

This situation reflects what is a far more tangible war against ‘political correctness,’ in general, which, really, is mostly a war against being a respectful human being.

‘Politically correct’ is used as an insult. People use it to mock someone, policy, et cetera, for trying ‘too hard’ not to offend anyone, blame it for ‘censoring’ humour, and generally complain about it.

Yet with rising frequency, we paint a scarlet PC on anything, big or small, that challenges our comfort in belonging to a dominant demographic. Nobody likes to be in the wrong, so when criticized for being insensitive, the first response is often to claim that the other person is ‘taking things too seriously.’ Similarly, whenever somebody takes the initiative to change something

to be more inclusive, they’re inevitably disparaged for “bending [their] knee to a vocal minority,” as Feuerstein put it.

It’s come to the point where people slam things for being ‘politically correct’ because actually taking other people’s feelings seriously is just too inconvenient for them — it’s much better to remain in a bubble of supremacy and assume that the world should bend to make you and you alone feel like society validates your particular set of values. And that’s disturbing.

Honestly, I’m not convinced that Starbucks was especially invested in trying to be socially progressive with their new design. I just think that the ensuing reaction to such a miniscule detail is very telling of just how zealously some people will fight to stay closedminded and angry, and that should be everyone’s real concern.

If nothing else, at least Starbucks chose a pretty shade of red.

10 OPINIONS

When talking about the Women’s Centre on campus, it’s not uncommon to immediately hear the sarcastic question of “well, where’s the Men’s Centre?”

The idea of a Men’s Centre on University campuses is one embroiled in years of debate. It is common for universities to offer to make resources available for the entire student body, but typically there is nothing specifically for men.

SFU has one of the longestrunning Women’s Centres in North America. Being a presence since soon after the university began, and a physical space for over 30 years,

Walking to my neighbourhood Starbucks, I’m surrounded by elaborate light shows on either side of the street. The community seems to be engaged in a fashion showdown.

“Jeff, you got Christmas lights on your garage? Well, I’ve got mine on my roof. Plus they’re LED.” “Mitch, please, you’re just trying to overcompensate for your lack of glow-in-the-dark lawn reindeer.”

“Sorry, Jeff, I can’t seem to see your reindeer behind my six-foottall candy canes.”

I finally enter the Starbucks, and I’m immediately greeted with the smells of pretentious coffee and the sounds of Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas.” I go up to the counter and order my Venti Caramelito Gingerbreadito Latteito,

they cater to a wide variety of the SFU population. The resources provided extend to students of all genders — something of which many SFU students are unaware.

The idea of a Men’s Centre has been floating around campus for years, and has brought about heated debate over the last few in particular. A group of SFU students did briefly come together in 2012 to try to start a Centre for men on campus. However, nothing was really produced from their ideas, because they seemed to only have a few powerful people behind the project, rather than a community to speak to its necessity. For something to one day come of this, students will need to come together with the existing structures that are available, and work in tandem to fill the lack of men’s programming available at SFU. One of the major problems with the idea of a Men’s Centre both at SFU and other universities is that, more often than not, those who propose a space specifically for men are doing so as a reaction to the presence of a Women’s Centre on campus, rather than because they recognize the lack of men-centered resources at their university.

It’s as if the presence of a Women’s

which — of course — is served in a festive cup. As I sit my keister down on an overly-plump sofa, I can’t help but feel that this is what makes December fantastic: DIY light shows, classic holiday songs, and overly sweetened hot beverages.

There’s just one problem: It’s the first week of November.

Yes, it seems that these days the eleventh month of the year

November 23, 2015

Centre somehow negates men’s experiences, when in fact, they simply work to support self-identified women who systemically experience violence and marginalization at a much higher rate.

This is not to say that it is not possible to establish successful spaces for men to access resources and discuss their issues. The University of Victoria is a great example of an institution that provides successful programming for men.

Their men’s circle, according to their website, creates a safe space for men to “challenge gender-based violence and dominant constructions of masculinity” through discussion of their everyday issues

with other men, alongside broader issues of violence, sexual assault, and consent. This all takes place through an activism-based, antiracist, anti-colonial framework.

But here’s the thing: resources already are available for men at SFU. The Women’s Centre resource area is open to all genders, with a “masculinity” section in their library, many resources for men like the safer sex supplies, referrals to local organizations, and peer and crisis support available to men as well. SFPIRG also has many resources available to anyone at SFU, and has run critical masculinity workshops in the past. These are only some of the resources available

to men on campus, and even more can be made available if men are willing to join together to challenge their ideas of masculinity and organize for change.

In the end, a Men’s Centre is something that would definitely add to the university experience.

However, for it to be successful, non-sexist, non-racist, and unprejudiced, more students need to be interested than just the few who pushed for the centre in 2012. This kind of space cannot thrive if men’s goal is to exist solely in opposition to existing feminist frameworks; rather, they need to critically look at the structures of masculinity that they’ve been taught and accept.

has morphed slyly into the twelfth, with the festive season beginning the second you change out of your risque Halloween outfit. Many people might say, “But is that not a fantastic turn of events? Instead of having one month to listen to cheesy holiday tunes, we now have two!” I am afraid that nothing could be further from the truth.

Before you start branding me a cynical Scrooge, I ask that you turn down “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” and hear me out for a second. I have absolutely nothing against the festive season during December. Indeed, I challenge anyone that has the gall to call me a Grinch to a Christmas song karaoke-off. However, my problem lies in the fact that there is only so much holiday goodness that one can absorb before bloating to the size of a mall Santa.

Let’s go back to those lights present in my neighbourhood.

I truly do tip my hat to those who endured cold Canadian weather to put them up. But after a month, it starts to get annoying to see that smug look on plastic Rudolph’s face everyday I go to school. Or those carols blasted in every single coffee shop in the northern hemisphere.

The holiday also brings with it some fantastic pieces of music, but only up until their expiry date, and they usually go stale after about 30 days. This means that once December rolls around, I’m already tired of the songs I should be enjoying.

If that’s not enough to convince you, let’s bring out an academic argument. Finals start around the second week of December (sorry for reminding you). Had we as a society decided to begin our holiday festivities on the first of December, then all the cheery music would indeed be cheery, as we would only have heard it for a little while by that point.

On the other hand, after listening to carols during the entire month of November, “Deck the Halls” playing during finals season just reminds me of the grueling month that I just had. The same goes with those Starbucks holiday cups. There’s only so many red cups I can look at before going bananas, and going bananas during finals season is a recipe for disaster.

Therefore, SFU students, I implore you to put away those Christmas lights. Hide that holiday jazz CD you bought at the flea market.

And for goodness’ sake, dump that festive cup of sugary coffee. Though it may make your November a bit glum, your December is bound to be extra sweet in comparison.

OPINIONS

If you have a Facebook or Instagram account, it’s more than likely you’ve come across the #FreeTheNipple movement. Lesser known is the #DoIHaveBoobsNow campaign, which challenges how trans bodies fit into the world of social media censorship.

Facebook currently only allows images of chests they presume to be male to be displayed. Breasts, specifically nipples, on the bodies of women are strictly not allowed.

Courtney Demone, a woman from Victoria, is challenging this. Documenting her transition from male to female, specifically her breast augmentation, she’s determining at what point of transition she’s too feminine to be revealing her body for Facebook’s standards.

The controversy surrounding breasts is particularly interesting when considered from a biological perspective. There’s very little difference between male chests and female chests, except that the latter has specialized lobules, allowing them to breastfeed. This is

November 23, 2015

widely unknown, however; many presume that there are major biological differences between the two. This may seem like an innocent case of misinformation, but it can have deadly consequences.

Male, for instance, can get breast cancer are often diagnosed too late simply because they neglected to check themselves.

So what exactly are we censoring? Are we censoring breastfeeding, since the only real difference between the two is the aforementioned lobules? According to a statement Facebook made a while back, they “will always allow photos of women actively engaged in breastfeeding.”

Is it the size of breasts? Surely this isn’t the case either, since men with large chests can post shirtless pictures of themselves with no consequences, yet women with small breasts get their photos removed for nudity.

The only conclusion left is that Facebook has a problem with women’s breasts and women’s breasts alone. This is especially saddening because, in 2014, Facebook replaced their previous gender-binary system where users had to choose either male or female for their profiles with a drop-down list of options. Especially huge for users was the new choice to write their own.

Unfortunately, their censoring policies remain contradictory to this progression.

Demone herself described the

issue as “nonsense,” saying, “Facebook allows us to input what gender we are, yet they go ahead and assign us a binary gender anyway based on our chests.” By denying some bodies the right to be displayed, Facebook both subscribes to the gender and sex binaries, and contributes to a society that disproportionately polices women’s bodies.

The implications of this are huge. Policing women’s bodies contributes to a culture run amok with slut-shaming and

Ahh, natural selection — not just that unit of biology you slept through during high school, but so much more! I know it sounds like a boring naturecentric Songza playlist you’d hear at a shoddily-run YMCA yoga course, but really it’s the reason we live on such a diversely radiant planet filled with distinctive cultures of animals, plants, and people.

It’s because of natural selection that giraffes have freakishly long necks and we have

platypuses to laugh at. It’s because of natural selection we are no longer defacing cave walls and flinging our crap at one another. And while the system isn’t flawless for rooting out the stupidity of some, just remind yourself the gene pool is just a generation or two away from being purged of your Uncle Mickey’s horrible toilet humour.

The seconds are winding down to the deadline and you are poised at your computer desk, ready to pounce. You finger floats atop the return key waiting for the moment to arrive. An antsy finger clicks frantically on the mousepad and refreshes the page at the pace of a discharging AK-47.

The time is just under 60 seconds — both dread and excitement bubble within you. Your chosen classes for the semester lay nestled in your interactive goSFU cart. They begin to call

out to you like the song of the siren, exciting and enticing you to their low workloads and high participation percentages.

The analog numbers above your unused geography textbook hit their target. Index finger collides with the computer key! The enrollment gates are open: HIGH HO, SILVER! AWAY! Take what is yours, young undergraduate! The die is cast and these courses are — taken. Son of a . . .

victim-blaming. It’s a tired old trend that has to go.

I’m in full support of lifting the ban on all nipples and breasts. The benefits are endless. Parents worried about their children being exposed to “pornographic” content should consider celebrating the effects that visibility of a variety of breast-types could have. Instead of only seeing breasts that fit the porn aesthetic — which, let’s face it, are just as accessible on the Internet as Facebook itself — they’d be exposed to a more realistic spectrum of body types, likely decreasing the

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insecurity experienced by children about their own developing bodies.

And they wouldn’t have the pesky problem of having to decide what counts as feminine enough and what doesn’t.

So instead of drawing arbitrary lines in the sand saying which breasts are too risque, Facebook should simply lift the ban on (what they presume to be) women’s bodies, simultaneously rejecting gender binaries and refusing to contribute to a society that shames people for having feminine anatomy.

EXTRA! EXTRA! THE PEAK IS HIRING! NEED EXTRA BEER MONEY? WE NEED YOU TO DISTRIBUTE THE PEAK AROUND BURNABY CAMPUS EVERY MONDAY!

CONTACT MAIA@THE-PEAK.CA

November 23, 2015

12

CLUBS EXPOSURE June 29, 2015

photo editor email

Lisa Dimyadi photos@the-peak.ca

ARTS

arts editor email

November 23, 2015

Tessa Perkins arts@the-peak.ca

13

COMIC CONNOISSEUR

Grant Morrison returns with one of the most mindnumbing sci-fi comics of all time

Ray Spass is a Hollywood screenwriter with a penchant for hard narcotics, wild parties, and black magic. Tasked with writing the most important screenplay of his career, Spass comes face to face with two bitter realizations in the process of completing his story on a tight deadline.

First, his writer’s block can’t seem to get him past his opening act, and worse, he has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour that could kill him at any moment. Thrown into a depressive downward spiral, Spass opts to end his life, but is stopped by Max Nomax — who just happens to the main character of his screenplay.

Now, try and follow me here, because this is where things can get confusing: as it turns out, Spass’ tumour is not a tumour at all: it’s a concentrated packet of information Nomax desperately

needs. It’s up to Spass to remember or imagine the rest of his screenplay to help unlock the information inside of himself. Time is also of the essence, as Sass’s deadline for his script fast approaches coinciding with the deadly threat of a super enhanced assassin on the hunt for Nomax.

Trust me when I say that’s just the tip of the iceberg for this eccentric escapade.

Annihilator is what I would best characterize as a highmaintenance work of art. One’s understanding of events, characters, and general themes is not meant to come easy. It can be a challenging graphic novel to sift through, filled with puzzling perceptions and even more bizarre dialogue. However, a sense of deep reward and satisfaction is to be garnered from achieving an understanding of this complex work.

Just keep in mind it might not come about on the first try.

Frazer Irving’s artwork is by far one of the most captivating draws of the whole crazed chronicle. Irving’s

artwork is unlike anything you’ll see in mainstream comics. Every page is gritty, demented, and nightmarishly cerebral — made all the more macabre and alluring with a colour pallet of orange, pink, purple, and blue.

For those familiar with the work of Grant Morrison, this is yet another walk on the wild side we have come to expect from the anarchistic visionary. However, for the uninitiated, Annihilator could be the equivalent to Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride after three lines of Peruvian blow with a hallucinogenic garnish of magic mushrooms.

It isn’t hyperbolic to say that Annihilator is one of the most unique sci-fi comics of the last decade — if not of all time. However, that distinction does come with a catch.

Annihilator is an all-around challenging read that will test the literary prowess of even the most scholarly-inclined. Unapologetically disorienting and masterfully mind-boggling, Annihilator is comparable to a night on the town with a full inventory of pharmaceuticals coursing through your veins; you might not comprehend what you were doing, but you’ll remember the events well after they’re over.

The music of Once is powerful. It has the special quality of leaving you feeling transformed, uplifted, and inspired when you leave the theatre, and although that may sound like an exaggeration, I have experienced it firsthand twice. With a unique onstage bar open before the show and at intermission, this production made a cavernous theatre feel intimate and a single soft voice emanating from the stage feel immensely important.

I’m always surprised by the number of people who haven’t heard of Once. Released in 2006, the film that this musical is based on is a heart-wrenching love story set in Dublin between an unnamed heartbroken Irish musician (Glen Hansard) and a younger Czech immigrant (Marketa Irglova). Before making the film, the two were making music together as The Swell Season, and gradually fell in love despite their age difference (Hansard was 37, and Irglova 19).

The couple wrote and composed all of the songs in the film, and their song “Falling Slowly” won an Oscar in 2007.

It’s a real-life love story captured on film, put to song, and now produced as a touring musical.

Their relationship has since ended, but they continue to make music on their own, and they are two of my favourite musicians. It’s hard to watch

Once the Musical without comparing the performers to Hansard and Irglova, especially having seen them both live, but the musical is its own entity, with a slightly changed plot and a life of its own.

The heart of the story — the songs — are what carry the show, so of course whoever plays the two unnamed leads must also be musically gifted.

The “Guy” is played by Liverpudlian Stuart Ward, and his passionate strumming of the guitar made it clear that he is a talented musician in his own right. The “Girl,” played by Dani de Waal, is much more comical in this performance than in the film, and overall the plot incorporates a bit more slapstick and humour, but Waal’s voice adeptly carried the lilting, emotional ballads she performed alone on stage with the piano.

The ensemble was brilliant, dancing around the stage with their banjos, accordion, violin, and bass. And the set was stunning: a beautiful semi-circle of wood-paneled walls lined with a collage of variously sized mirrors.

While this Broadway Across Canada production was moving and poignant, it was not quite up to the standard of the production I saw at the Phoenix Theatre in London in 2013. Perhaps the experience of seeing it in a smaller space enhanced its power, but overall, that show seemed to embody more of the magic of the story. Despite that, I highly recommend this show, and the music of both Hansard and Irglova. I guarantee you will get something out of it.

14 ARTS FF

November 23, 2015

FOOD FIGHT

Gemma Lee Columnist To celebrate Dia de los Muertos, my friend and I decided to try the newly opened Mexican restaurant in New Westminster Station, Original’s Cafe Mexicano.

We were not disappointed.

As soon as you walk inside, you notice how refreshingly spacious and colourful the place is. You enter through a small cafe space with an espresso counter, and further into the restaurant is a more sophisticated atmosphere with a bar and elevated seating. The restaurant is a harmonic hybrid of modern and traditional, featuring trendy yet timeless Aztec walls, cultural decor pieces, gorgeous urban furniture, traditional music, and charming Dia de los Muertos decorations.

My friend and I had a fullcourse meal, and we thought our stomachs were going to explode afterwards. I do not recommend doing what we did — their main course was plenty filling on its own. We had tortilla soup as an appetizer, which was delightful, but quite hefty. If you’re there with a friend, and you really want an appetizer, I suggest that you plan to share a delicious main dish. The menu is authentic and gorgeous, and contains

many options for meat-eaters, from chicken to lamb, and quite an inviting array for vegetarians as well.

Unfortunately for vegans such as myself, there is literally cheese in everything — but, without counting the cheese, many meals are vegan-friendly, full of nutrients, and equally as delightful and filling as a meat dish. The refried black beans, for instance, were amazing, of a perfect consistency and anything but mundane.

The dessert is nothing short of legendary. I ordered a coffee and a chocolate cake, and my friend opted for a horchata latte and flan cake.

We were both blown away by the quality of the beverages and dessert.

Their coffee was smooth and rich, and even though I drank it black, there was no wince-inducing bitterness. It perfectly complimented the chocolate cake, which was flavorful but not too sweet, and the perfect texture between airy and dense.

My friend described the horchata latte as a “gentle hug from a cinnamon sheep,” and I laughed for about 10 minutes straight. What is horchata, you ask? It is a traditional beverage made of almonds, rice, cinnamon, and other spices that essentially tastes like a smoother and milkier chai latte without the dairy. We agreed that we would swing by again even just to order the dessert and coffee.

To top it off, the servers were kind and thoughtful, helping us decide between the many choices offered by the menu. Our food was brought promptly and there was a timely balance between the courses. I highly recommend this restaurant for an authentic yet modern dining experience.

If cities are character actors, New York usually plays one of two roles: the wingman for romances with cultured hipsters, or a desolate backdrop for loners who don’t fit the “New Yorker” label. The capitalist capitol of North America has birthed rom-coms like When Harry Met Sally and social commentaries such as Taxi Driver, while, even this year, The Intern portrayed the Big Apple as a sweet pie of opportunity, devoid of any real diversity.

Artificial representations perpetuate what I like to call “cinematic gentrification.” They push the poor and the ostracized to the edges, only occasionally showcasing them as stereotypes. Josh Mond’s directorial debut, James White, is a small yet truthful portrait of the city.

In the first scene, we glimpse a dark subculture: James (Christopher Abbott) is inebriated in a bar, dancing, stumbling, and flirting. The place — dark, but lit in vibrant neon hues — is packed. Eventually, he stumbles out the door, and the mid-day sun brightly overwhelms our eyes.

James jumps into the back of a cab and wakes up in front of his

mother’s apartment. Inside, the home brims with acquaintances: his father has just died and James has shown up late and drunk to a commemorative lunch.

With every passing moment, we sense the pressure mounting, as though he is carrying a stack of bricks on his head, slowly compressing him downwards.

Even if he could hold onto a job, he can’t seem to get one. The hospital is overfilled and understaffed, and although the setting is barely visible — often left exclusively to corners of the widescreen frame — it presses against James from all sides.

Only when he escapes to a Mexican resort is there reprieve.

Filmed primarily in long shots with extreme amounts of negative space, we get a sense of relaxation from these scenes. The crowded New York streets have led James to vacant beaches and unoccupied roads, but after a few nights with a girl who also lives in New York, James receives a tragic phone call. His mother’s cancer has spread with a fury; she needs him to come back. The vast spaces have become claustrophobic, and he is once again squashed into small specks on the screen.

Although there is a tight focus on James (literally), Josh Mond has crafted a relatively plotless story that spans months, chronicling the mother’s failing bout with cancer. James White becomes not just a profound character study but also an introspection into the lives who support the main character: the dying mother, a long-time best friend, and the girlfriend he met in Mexico. Over a span of several months, these characters drift in and out of the story, leaving us to wonder if they’ve abandoned James entirely, and leaving him not understanding their concern.

Counter-balanced with Abbott’s enormous, raw performance, every scene is like a balloon inflating, waiting for the actor to pop it. Large performances tend to feel showy — audiences often sense the artifice — but with Abbott, we never catch him acting.

He has embodied every cell of this man’s nerves.

Born and raised in the city, James is, in a way, an archetypal New Yorker. He is a writer. He is cultured. He seeks love. Yet he is precisely the kind of unattractive person never seen at the movies.

Characters like James are being gentrified at the cinema, pushed out from our frame of view. We walk past them every day, and perhaps there is little we can do, but our movies have turned our heads away for us.

ARTS

From November 13 to 15, We Know Nothing: Monologues of Ice and Fire ran at the Cultch’s Culture Lab in East Vancouver. Hilarious and witty, this original production by writers Alison Ross and Courtney Shrumm was the debut show from new theatre company Mad House Productions.

The production made fun of Game of Thrones while still paying loving homage. The pun in the title set the tone for the show, which was done as a series of monologues intermingled with narration by actor Michael McIntyre, playing the book series’ beloved author, George R.R. Martin.

The scene opened with a brilliant rendition of the TV show’s opening theme, done on sevenstring guitar by local musician Ruel Morales. We were then introduced to the man of the hour, George R.R. Martin himself, reclined in a chair draped with a knit blanket emblazoned with house sigils. Then, one by one, the audience got to know old Georgie’s favourite characters that, alas, had been killed off in each of the five books in the series, along with a bonus character from his upcoming book.

As he so eloquently called them, “the expendables of Westeros” were brought to life on the stage in a most comedic manner.

November 23, 2015

The minimalistic set, along with distinctive costuming, helped bring the focus to the actors.

The performances were excellent, and were brought together seamlessly by the narrative prowess of McIntyre, who was quite convincing as Martin. The other five actors were equally engaging, bringing high energies and excellent audience interactions into each scene.

We were first introduced to great comedic timing in the form of The Seer of Essos, played by Kenneth Tynan. He played quite the hilarious horny old lady in a performance reminiscent of Rafiki from The Lion King.

The Romeo of Flea Bottom was brought to life in a gut-splitting performance by Ryan Hache.

From his strip-tease to his heartfelt and impassioned declaration of love, Hache delivered boundless energy and charisma.

Next was Nathaniel Gordon, with a stand-up routine style monologue in his performance as The Red Wedding Singer. Bedecked in matching hats with guitarist Morales, the pair delivered a delightful musical act with excellently overwrought lyrics halfway. Chelsey Stuyrt, playing Susan Sand (the other Sand Snake), gave a delightfully awkward performance.

Her portrayal of a comedian with serious daddy issues and an inferiority complex was absolutely brilliant.

Then came Keegan Flick-Parker, the show’s co-producer and director with Chris Nyarady, playing The Jackass on the Wall. Flick-Parker made a thoroughly convincing thug, giving a wonderfully intense performance. His drunken frostbite makeup by SFU grad Justin Saint

helped complete the look wonderfully. The night ended with a hilarious monologue by McIntyre performed through a gorgeously designed dragon puppet.

In a short interview with the writers, Shrumm said the inspiration for the show came from things they were frustrated with in Game of Thrones. He said the writers were to “make fun of the rude and crudeness of it,” and show that women too “can be truly disgusting,” according to fellow writer Alison Ross.

Mad House Productions have plans to enter the Vancouver Fringe Festival next September with this show, and I certainly hope they do.

The performance was a hysterically funny mix of stand-up and soliloquy. Effective writing, excellent acting, and a great concept made for a production that was truly a fanfiction of epic proportions.

Andrew MacLeod’s new book, A Better Place on Earth: The Search for Fairness in Super Unequal British Columbia, is a fearless stab at our province’s social, political, and economic institutions that simply don’t consider impoverished and homeless people enough. It was a shocking and deeply personal read: the cities and streets it talks about are so familiar. It’s unbelievable how much we don’t know.

MacLeod pushes aside the curtain that conceals the staggering numbers involved in impoverished, addicted, disabled, or homeless citizens and how their needs (mental and physical) are not nearly being met.

It’s more than any one person living on the street, or even the crowds on East Hastings. MacLeod interviews individuals who are directly affected by these issues, and their heartbreaking stories point towards a very unequal British Columbia. This practical examination is a call for privileged citizens to raise our influential voices to represent those who are too often ignored.

The majority of the book is a critical exploration of what is held back from the impoverished citizens of British Columbia. I will admit that it is not an easy read,

15

nor a quick one. The topic is upsetting, and the statistical, political, and economic conversation is hefty to take in. But MacLeod takes up a pattern throughout the book that makes the points much easier to process, following a political or economic fact or theory with a personal story from a local who has experienced the issue firsthand.

This technique enables readers to make the direct connection from numbers and politics to human neglect and suffering.

MacLeod isn’t afraid to point fingers at politicians and powerful people who let our most vulnerable citizens down.

My favorite thing about this book is how practical it is. I love the “Seeking solutions” chapter, and the way MacLeod restores hope after breaking down our faith in responsible politicians and organizations. He lists and expands on ways to reduce inequality in British Columbia: create well-paying jobs, raise the minimum wage, reform the tax system, provide affordable child care, and so on.

The book ends with a couple of hard-hitting statistics on inequality. As MacLeod lays out, the percentage of the world’s total wealth owned by the bottom half of the global population is just one per cent, yet the percentage of the world’s total wealth owned by the top 10 per cent of the population is 87 per cent.

MacLeod’s A Better Place on Earth is a well-researched, cautionary call for great changes to be made by each of us, to “pull back stratospheric incomes and create a fairer society.”

FIRST NATIONS STUDIES INDIGENOUS

INTERDISCIPINARY

COMPREHENSIVE

INTROSPECTIVE

SPRING 2016 BREADTH*

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FNST 101 INTRODUCTION TO FIRST NATIONS STUDIES FNST 201W CANADIAN ABORIGINAL PERSPECTIVES ON HISTORY FNST 332 ETHNOBOTANY IN BC FIRST NATIONS∆

WRITING* FNST 201W CDN ABORIGINAL PERSPECTIVES ON HISTORY FNST 402W DISCOURSE OF ABORIGINAL PEOPLES∆

IN-STUDIO CREATE/RESEARCH

VANCOUVER CAMPUS ARTƠ

FNST 222 TRANSFORMATIONS IN INDIGENOUS FNST 402W DISCOURSE OF ABORIGINAL PEOPLES*∆

ENGAGE Indigenous issues and perspectives ACQUIRE traditional and contemporary knowledge STUDY with Indigenous faculty and experts EXPLORE with hands-on/interactive learning & practice MAJOR JOINT MAJOR MINOR CERTIFICATE DIPLOMA CO-OP

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FNST 222 TRANSFORMATIONS IN INDIGENOUS ART∆† FNST 332 ETHNOBOTANY IN BC FIRST NATIONS*∆ FNST 326 HISTORY OF ABORIGINAL PEOPLE SINCE 1850 FNST 403 INDIGENOUS KNOWLEDGE IN THE MODERN WORLD FNST 429 INDIGENOUS PEOPLES & INT’L LAWS FNST 363 INDIGENOUS POETRY, POETICS, AND PRINTMAKING ∆† FNST 376 INDIGENOUS WEAVING TECHNOLOGIES: ∆† COMMUNITY OF BEINGS * WQB: See FNST Courses in the Spring 2016 Academic Calendar. † Some prerequisites are waived. Contact first_nations@sfu.ca to arrange enrollment. ∆ With walkabouts, field trips, or site visits.

16

SPORTS

November 23, 2015

sports editor email

Nick Bondi sports@the-peak.ca

Christina Howlett has been selected to the GNAC All-Academic Team. The sophomore from Delta, BC led the team with a 4.00 cumulative grade point average in business. She has 203 total kills on the season, which places her third on the team.

Head Coach John Buchanan has announced that Bethany Ma has signed her national letter of intent to play for the women’s golf team. Ma is the captain of the Pacific Academy Senior Golf Team, and was able to lead the team to its first ever high school championship; like Howlett, she holds a 4.0 GPA. She was also chosen to represent Canada at the 2015 Aaron Baddeley International Junior Golf Championship.

Wrestling is a sport unlike any other, and one that it requires intense commitment from competitors. It requires years of training and focus to compete at a high level. This makes the case of sophomore Abby Lloyd all the more interesting. A native of Powell River, BC, Lloyd’s background is in judo, and she only began wrestling when she came to SFU. “I started judo when I was about six years old,” Lloyd said. “I competed internationally for quite a while, and leading up to graduation I had to consider post-secondary, which there wasn’t a lot of options in regards to judo. [. . .] So I turned to wrestling, where Mike Jones [Head Wrestling Coach] recruited me, and I saw an opportunity in that.”

There are some similarities between judo and wrestling, but for the most part, Lloyd had to learn the sport from scratch. “There’s a lot of overlap in regards to takedowns and throws. But there were a lot of habits that I had to break in regards to being put on my back.

Because judo fighters can be on their backs and defending at the same time. [In] wrestling, you can’t.

“What I really like about wrestling is that you can grab the leg,” she said. “Whereas in judo in 2010 they started incorporating rules where you couldn’t grab the legs. [. . .] In wrestling there’s more freedom for me to use my technique and [less worry] about being disqualified for something that’s against the rules.”

Lloyd has had some help from numerous people in SFU wrestling to make her a more well-rounded wrestler. “My coaches and my teammates” were the first people she mentioned. “[My teammates are] not ones that because they are [competing] in the same weight class, they’re going to keep all these secrets from you. They’re ones that actually want to see you get better and they want you to improve. If they see you doing something wrong, they’re going to correct you on it.

“In regard to coaches, Mike Jones is one of those guys that’s not going to tell you that you’re doing it perfectly, because he doesn’t want to boost your ego that much. He’s going to tell you that you did it better, and then he’s going to tell you how you can improve on it.”

One thing unique to the sport of wrestling is the weight class system. To compete in a certain weight class, Abby has to be at the weight or under it. For this season, she is fluctuating between the 109 lbs and 116 lbs weight class, which means lots

of bulking and then cutting down.

“It’s not really healthy, but a lot of it will be water weight,” she said.

“I know some of the guys they can probably lose 20 pounds of water weight. So what I do is, probably two to three weeks before prior to

[the] competition, if you’re making a big cut, you want to focus on just cleaning up your diet. Making sure you don’t have any added sugar, no unneeded carbs, [and] try not to eat late at night.

“Leading up the week before you, start reducing water intake. Basically we just throw on the [compression] suit and get sweating. You want to cut water weight as much as you can before the competition.”

Abby explains the difference between the two weight classes. “The 109 [weight class] will definitely be focused more on speed, and the 116 more on strength. I myself am very compact, so a lot of the girls are going to be taller than me. [. . .]

The strength and the height are the big differences.”

Between gaining and losing weight, Abby still has to

study for her classes, a balance she found difficult to maintain in her freshman year.

“It was really, really hard,” she said. “I had no idea what I was doing. I came from a really small town, and in high school, I had such a close connection with my teachers [and] they were very lenient with me, [because] they knew my travel schedule.

“At SFU they understand the situation of varsity athletes, but you have to understand the responsibility is on you to get your assignments done and have things ahead of time if you’re going to be away. Whereas [in high school], I just relied on my teachers to get me out of things. But my first semester was a nightmare. My grades weren’t the best, but as I started to learn the ropes, I recognized that there has to be a balance academics and sports.”

The season is still in the beginning stages, but Abby has some concrete goals heading further into the season.

“My personal goal is to just really focus on my leg shots right now. Because I’m starting to develop an understanding of what my setups need to be in order to make those leg shots, as opposed to just tying up and going for the throw in judo. My goal is just to keep up with that, keep improving, and

Jordan Herdman has been named the GNAC Defensive Player of the Year for the second straight season. The redshirt junior from Winnipeg, Manitoba finished the season with an average of 14.8 tackles per game, good enough to place first in the GNAC conference and fifth in all of Division II. Jordan was also named to the All-Conference First Team, also with his brother Justin.

Two players on both the women’s and men’s soccer team were named to the GNAC All-Academic Team.

Brandon Watson, goalkeeper on the men’s team, carried a 4.11 GPA in Kinesiology, while Robert Hyams had a 3.57 GPA in Economics. On the women’s side, forward Olivia Aguiar had a 3.83 GPA in Kinesiology, and Devon Kollmyer had 3.90 GPA in Molecular Biology and Biochemistry.

SPORTS

17

November 23, 2015

SFU

DC

78 - 58 FIELD GOALS

The SFU Clan men’s basketball team got its first win of the season Tuesday night against the Douglas College Royals with a score of 78–58.

Though a 20-point gap between the two squads might make some think that SFU dominated this game, nothing could be further from the truth, as the Royals made the Clan work for every point, and a wide margin of victory was not secured until late in the game.

“It was a battle in the first half, and then we came back [and] showed some resilience,” said Clan guard Hidde Vos after the game. “It’s good to get the first [win] of the season.”

It was a tale of two halves, as the Clan started the match playing down to their opponent’s level. Douglas College took an early lead, and were able to frustrate Simon Fraser all throughout the first half. SFU’s Michael Harper had some excellent runs at the Douglas defense, cutting through them like a hot knife through butter. However, SFU’s defense was unable to shut down the Royals offense, as it seemed like they were able to sink

three-pointers at will. Along with that, the Royals were winning most of the rebounds in SFU’s zone, and getting easy points off layups as a result.

The Clan started playing a bit better in the middle of the frame, and went on a 10–0 run to take a 25–19 lead with nine minutes left, due to some timely points and steals from guard/forward Denver Sparks-Guest. However, SFU was unable to pull away, and the plucky Douglas side fought back with some timely threepointers, retaking the lead with two seconds left on the clock.

The halftime score was 37–35 for the visitors, and SFU’s Head Coach Virgil Hill was visibly displeased going into the halftime break.

Hill must have given quite an impressive speech during the intermission, as the Clan came out in the second guns blazing.

Douglas College fought tooth and nail to keep their lead, but they were no match for the firepower that SFU brought. Specifically, it was the incredible play of guard Hidde Vos that propelled them.

Beginning early in the second half, Hidde had timely steals, smooth three pointers that hit nothing but net, and some sick no-look passes that would have compelled even Steve Nash to tip his hat.

But it was not only Vos that shone for the Clan in the final frame.

Oshea Gairey helped draw multiple fouls, and on the defensive end Gibran Sewani and Max Barkeley shut

down multiple Douglas attacks with rejections that made the crowd go wild. It seemed like a totally different SFU side was on the court, and the scoreboard was showing it. After being down 44–40 early in the second half, the Clan went on a 25–0 run to take a 65–44 lead.

The final stages depended on SFU not letting Douglas claw its way back as they did in the first half, and this time, the Clan was successful. SFU ran the Royals ragged in the second half, and it was clear the visitors from New Westminster had no gas left in the tank at the end of the game.

SFU held on for a 78–58 blowout, and they’ll certainly be hoping for more wins like these in the future.

The SFU football team lost their season finale 38–17 to California’s Azusa Pacific University last week, capping off a winless season. Despite several close games in which they had second half leads, the rebuilding Clan football team finished with a 0–9 record in Head Coach Kelly Bates’ first season at the helm. The Clan was hopeful to finish the season with a win after a close 10–6 loss to Azusa Pacific in the first game of the season.

The Clan started out strong, opening the scoring on a 37 yard touchdown pass from quarterback Ryan Stanford to wide receiver Christian Berger.

SFU started out forcing three consecutive punts on defence

before a costly mistake on offence created an avalanche of momentum for the Azusa Pacific Cougars. The Cougars were able to strip sack Ryan Stanfield in the endzone for a touchdown that evened the game at 7–7.

Pass protection was a problem all game for the Clan, who yielded five quarterback sacks to the Cougar defence. Azusa Pacific added 10 more points in the last half of the second quarter to take a 17–7 lead into the locker room at halftime. The third quarter was all Cougars, as they reached the endzone three times offset by a lone Tiernan Docherty field goal. The fourth quarter saw the Clan finish strong with a blocked punt followed by Justin Buren’s nine-yard touchdown run on a jet sweep.

The offence was led by SFU running back Ante MilanovicLitre who rushed for 157 yards on 26 carries. This was his

second consecutive 100-yard rushing game which built on his 142-yard, two-touchdown performance from the week before. Quarterback Ryan Stanford passed for 133 yards and was backed up by Tyler Nickel who passed for 27 yards. Defensively, linebacker Jordan Herdman had another stellar game with 15 total tackles.

Coach Bates remarked how Jordan Herdman and his twin brother Justin “are a unique group of kids from Winnipeg, Manitoba whose father played in the CFL. Here they are setting GNAC records last year, [conference] player of the year last year for Jordan and manning our defence and making it what it is. They aren’t loud kids but lead by example.

“They are also both academic all-stars” he added. “Jordan has been in the top 10 for all SFU athletes. They are both on their way to become radiologists. This tells you what type of kids those

guys are. You can see this across the board on this team.”

Jordan Herdman was rewarded for his efforts by being named GNAC defensive player of the year for the second straight year.

Bates is clearly a man with a conviction and passion for

32-78 (41.0%)

19-55 (34.5%)

3-POINTERS 5-24 (20.8%)

8-30 (26.7%)

3 FREE THROWS 9-16 (56.3%)

12-14 (85.7)

football, who genuinely cares about his players and is committed to building a lasting tradition of excellence for SFU football.

Despite the team’s disappointing showing this season, the program seems to be in good hands under his watch.

18 SPORTS

November 23, 2015

SFU TWU

2 - 3

First Period: The men’s hockey team was in tough against the Trinity Western Spartans. Last year’s top team in the BCIHL was no pushover, but the Clan got off to a quick 2–0 lead in the first period and things seemed to be under control. However, two late goals in the first tied the game up at two, and the winner was scored halfway through the third by the Spartans’ Jamey Kreller.

“Well, I think it was a little bit of complacency on our end,” said Head Coach Mark Coletta on the game’s disappointing finish. “When you go up 2–0, and you play very well the week before, I think it was more of a mental thing. We didn’t prepare mentally, and we weren’t cognizant that Trinity is a good hockey team.”

A notable but unsurprising absence from the lineup was forward Jaret Babych. Coming into the game, Babych had scored five points in six games with the

SFU Brendan Lamont (1) (St. Pierre, Mysiorek) 19:45 SFU Matthew Luongo (1) (Mysiorek, Lamont) 2:19 TWU Dawson Sawatzky (1) (Wheeler, Mills) 1:20 TWU Brent Wur (2) (Bakken) 0:20

Second Period: No Scoring

Third Period: TWU Jamey Kreller (3) (Stephenson)

Goalies: Jordan Liem (SFU): 31 saves/ 34 shots .911 SV% Silas Matthys (TWU): 32 saves/34 shots .941 SV%10:34

Clan, four of which were goals.

He had to leave the previous game against Eastern Washington after taking a hit high.

“It looks like a mild concussion. We will take all the precautions that we can so he can be ready in the future.”

To get out of the team’s current slump, it’s going to take a concerted team effort,

according to coach Coletta. “In the past it’s always been, you look to a couple of the older guys or the veterans. But I think we have a team where we have a mix of seniors and a mix of first-year guys.

“This year is more of an internal group, and they guys themselves have to really pull together and find, again I keep coming

The Clan achieved a straight sets win over UA Fairbanks in their final home game Bartosz Wysocki Peak Associate SFU’s Volleyball squad had its senior night on November 14, and they made it a memorable one for the grads with a 3–0 victory over the visiting University of Alaska–Fairbanks Nanooks. It was the last home match of the season, and the victory brings them up to 13–13 on the season.

The Clan had just come off a 3–1 loss courtesy of the nationally-ranked University of Alaska– Anchorage Seawolves, and they were keen not to let the northern schools pull a double over them.

The Clan got the first point of the match and never looked back, constantly pressuring the Nanooks with a barrage of powerful spikes and deft dinks.

Helen Yan, Jessica Young, and Danielle Curtis all played their last home game.

The West Gym crowd got to witness history early in the first set, as Alaska–Fairbanks outside hitter Sam Harthun set a GNAC record with her 1462nd kill. She was by far the Nanooks’ strongest player, constantly giving the Clan headaches with powerful serves and well-placed

Lisa Dimyadi / The Peak

spikes. However, the ladies of SFU were able to weather the Alaskan storm early on, and went on to control the rest of the match.

“It always starts with our passing and serving,” said SFU coach Gina Schmidt after the match. “We handled the ball

back to this word, consistency. I think that’s the main thing.”

SFU’s Brendan Lamont was named the game’s second star.

He scored the opening goal of the game, and had an assist on SFU’s second goal. Matthew-Berry Lamontagna finished with 12 minutes in penalties on the night. The SFU powerplay finished zero for four on the night.

well on the first contact and we put them into trouble with some good serving on our part.

It helped our defense and transition game and we had contributions from all of our attackers, and when everyone is scoring, it makes life easy.”

One of those high scorers was SFU Senior Jessica Young, who led the team with 13 kills and three aces. The other two seniors, Helen Yan and Danielle Curtis, also did an excellent job in their last home games, helping to keep the Nanooks at bay throughout the three sets.

SFU took the first set by a score of 25–18, and continued to put the pedal to the metal in the next set. Emma Jennings had a number of strong kills early in the match, and she continued this form in the middle frame as well. The Nanooks were left completely flummoxed by her power and precision, and had no answer for it the entire match. Devon May was also a nightmare for the visitors, smashing the ball at

Three Stars:

1

TWU Dawson Sawatsky, 1G 0A

2

SFU Brendan Lamont, 1G, 1A

3

TWU Jacob Mills, 0G 1A

will. She finished off the match with 12 kills and two blocks, and helped the Clan take the second set 25–15.

The third set began in the same way the second ended, with SFU overpowering Alaska– Fairbanks. Whenever Alaska did manage to get themselves a chance at a point, SFU’s defense would show its strength and pull off an improbably dig or a brave block. The Clan’s pressure was too much for the Nanooks, and the third set ended 25–14.

After the match, when senior Jessica Young was asked about her favourite moment playing for the Clan, she said “That is the hardest question you could have possibly asked me because I’ve had so many great moments here [. . .] It’s been a great run, and I’m so appreciative of the fact that I even got to be here and that I got to meet all these people and play with them and learn from them.”

After the performance today, it seems like SFU volleyball will be filled with great moments for years to come.

SPORTS

November 23, 2015

Though SFU men’s soccer team was able to finish off on top with a win on seniors night, they unfortunately did not do enough to qualify for the GNAC championships. After a season of mixed results, SFU will be hoping to build in the offseason and make it back to the big dance in 2016.

Leading that rebuild will be SFU Head Coach Clint Schneider.

This was his first season as head coach of the program, but he’s already been involved with the team for many years under former Head Coach Alan Koch, who left to join the Whitecaps organization.

“The transition was pretty seamless, since I’ve been involved with the team for as long as I have.” said Schneider.

“They know me, I know them, so it was just establishing the type of culture that I wanted, which was not too far removed from what the guys are used to, and then implementing it.

That was the biggest change: implementing my culture and me being the big guy in charge, making sure the buck stops with me.”

The Clan was without star striker Jovan Blagojevic this year, who was drafted by the Vancouver Whitecaps and then sent to their reserve team. He

If you enjoy heartbreak, disappointment, and pulling your own hair out, then being a Canadian soccer fan is the thing for you.

However, Canada was able to pull off a rare win on Friday the 13th (of all days), a 1–0 result at BC Place against perennial bogeymen Honduras. With a little bit of luck, the men in red will hope to use this win as a springboard to advance into the 2018 World Cup in Russia.

The match played at BC place was the first the team has played in British Columbia in a decade.

For the past decade, most of the games have taken place at Toronto’s BMO Field, with a few Edmonton and Montreal matches sprinkled here and there. But after the success of the Women’s World Cup here in Vancouver, the Canadian Soccer Association knew they had to bring the men’s

team to the west coast, and it paid dividends. Over 20,000 boisterous fans helped propel the team to victory over Honduras.

Canada’s soccer history has long been intertwined with that of Honduras. Indeed, the last time Canada’s men’s team played a match in BC, it was against Honduras at Burnaby’s Swangard Stadium in 2005; Canada lost 2–1.

The last time that these two sides met was even uglier for the Canucks. It was October 16, 2012. San Pedro Sula was the venue, and a berth into the final round of qualifying for the 2014 World Cup was the prize. Canada only needed a draw to progress, but what ensued can only be described as a shellacking. The reds were on the tail end of an 8–1 beat down, and this thrashing severely smashed the spirits of Canada for years.

Look no further than the following year Canada had as proof of how bad the Hondurans handicapped the team: in 2013 the team played 13 games, won zero, and scored just one goal.

However, Honduras hasn’t always spelled doom and gloom for Canada. Les Rouges’ victory over Honduras in St. John’s in 1985

granted Canada its only spot in a World Cup; and Friday’s 1–0 win at BC Place will definitely be counted alongside Canada’s most historic victories.

The game-winning goal was scored by MLS Rookie of the Year Cyle Larin. Other players who stood out were Portland’s Will Johnson, who assisted the goal, as well as Atiba Hutchinson of Turkish club Besiktas and Junior Hoilett of QPR, playing his first competitive match for Canada. We’ll be looking to them to continue contributing against the other teams in our group: El Salvador and powerhouse Mexico.

What was most impressive about this win was that throughout the match it was clear that Canada was the better team.

There was no luck involved; the Canadians had more possession, more shots, and more heart than their counterparts. Not to mention that the frenetic fans in the stadium had Canada’s back for the whole 90 minutes.

The support was so good that Canada’s coach, Benito Floro, said after the match that he wishes Canada’s next game would be at BC Place. Here’s to hoping that his wish comes true.

led the team with 18 goals last season, and his absence was definitely felt this year, as the team scored only 29 goals this season compared to 41 last time around.

Defensively, however, SFU flourished under coach Schneider’s system. The Clan let in nine fewer goals than in 2014, and they turned Terry Fox Field into a fortress, conceding zero goals at home all year long.

Coach Schneider attributed this to a concentrated team effort.

“The guys were going to do everything it took to not allow a goal. We have a very good goalkeeper, but it starts with the guys up top and it works itself back. . .

When you have a group of players who are brought into doing that and working hard for each other, well then, the proof is in the pudding,” Schneider quipped.

Leaving the team this year are Shane Satar, Callum Whittaker, and Alex Rowley, three key cogs for the Clan. Coach

19

Clint was incredibly pleased with their contributions for the team — not only on the pitch, but off of it as well.

“Off the field, all three of those guys are fantastic team guys. They care about the culture we created [and] they care about the young guys that are going to be the legacy when their gone. So they really spent time and built into those guys who established what it means to play for SFU, what it means to play for Canada in a lot of ways, so that part will be badly missed.”

Reflecting on the year as a whole, coach Schneider said he would give the season a C+ rating. “The only reason I would rate it that low,” he said, “is because we didn’t make the postseason [. . .] I would still say it’s a pass, for sure, and there was a lot of positivity with this group that we can carry on towards next year. We have the real ability for it to be special.”

20 DIVERSIONS / ETC

November 23, 2015

CLASSIFIEDS@ THE-PEAK.CA

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

27. Across

EVENTS AT (OR AROUND) SFU: NOVEMBER 23 — DECEMBER 4

EVENT LISTINGS ARE FREE FOR SFU STUDENTS AND STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS. SEND THE DATE, TIME, LOCATION, NAME, AND A 15-WORD DESCRIPTION TO CLASSIFIEDS@THE-PEAK.CA

HUMOUR

November 23, 2015

That’s right, SFU. It’s not just the cry of Game of Thrones fans in withdrawal for the next season of blood, guts, and nudity — winter is indeed coming. Fear not, though, because your wonderful friends at The Peak have got you covered this winter season, with seven top-notch ways to keep your tushy blissfully acclimatized in lectures and tutorials.

1. Find a two-person tauntaun to cut into. But remember to breathe through your mouth instead of your nose, okay?

2. Burn your textbooks. It’s not like you’re using them to study anyways.

3. Construct a soup of armour. Enclose your body within a person-sized thermos to keep warm things warm and cold things on the outside. Minus 10 to your dexterity, though.

4. Make onesies a mandatory uniform for all future study group sessions.

Just because you’re learning doesn’t mean you can’t be comfortable.

5. Ask the barista to make your latte extra hot. Then go to Canadian Tire and buy a spaceheater for your tutorial room.

6. Find a YouTube clip of the fireplace channel and hope for a placebo effect.

Remember to cheer whenever the mysterious arm appears to prod the flame.

7. Just stay at home. There’s no place like it.

Are you tired of being overwhelmed by the most basic of daily actions and activities? Constantly afraid that behind every closed cupboard door, a tower of disorganized Tupperware is just waiting to tumble out? Sick of being asked rhetorical questions that you can’t respond to, even when the answer should be glaringly obvious? Then you need to try living in colour!

That’s right, living in colour.

No more residing in the era of only shades of black and white. With our revolutionary new approach to daily living, you can get back to the important things in life — like interacting with Tupperware when it’s not toppling on your face.

Research has shown that nearly 95 per cent of bumbling, uncoordinated behaviour occurs solely in the lives of people still living in black and white. That means it’s highly probable you weren’t just an inept idiot all along, but really you’ve just been living in the before part of your before-and-after story. This could be the change that changes everything.

Thanks to a series of environment-controlled simulations, our

As Seen On TV scientific division found that when a person performs a daily task in black and white, the lack of colour molecules makes everything at least three times as difficult. Gravity is affected, making ordinary objects seem significantly heavier; hand-eye coordination suffers, due to cone inactivity in your eye. Can we without a doubt conclude this is what’s actually happening? Not really. But can you without a doubt conclude this is what’s not happening? Let’s leave this one to the scientists, folks.

Our patented secret behind colour’s design lets your reds shine

red, your blues shine blue, and makes your body physically incapable of doing that frustrated head shake. You know, the one where you put both hands on your hips while shaking your head disapprovingly? When was the last time you saw a frustrated person in-colour? Let me answer that last question for you: never.

Still not convinced that colour living is different than all those other phony miracle products?

Check out this real-life testimonial from one of our real-life customers: “I used to live my life completely colourless — if you

humour editor email

21

Jacey Gibb humour@the-peak.ca

could call it living. Then I tried doing all of the same things I’d already been doing, but in colour, and everything changed.

It’s like someone flipped a switch, and suddenly the most mundane of tasks don’t seem unattainable. Once you give up living in only shades of black, you’ll never go back.”

Most television sets stopped displaying in black and white back in 1965, so why should your life be any different? Try living in colour today and see what it’s like to not be a total failure in everything you do.

Hello SFU students!

Thank you for tuning in again to the hippest corner of the newspaper!

I’m happy to report that it has been a fantastic week for myself as a self-publicizing DJ. I’ve performed two shows across the Lower Mainland, playing both major and minor hits from today’s Top 40.

DJing as an art has proven a bit more difficult an endeavor than I was hoping for this week. Going into this, I thought that DJing was simply pressing play on a Top 40 hit song for whatever pool or house party I’m at; I didn’t think I would have to play different Top 40 hits to suit the room’s always-changing temperature at any given moment.

I didn’t think that I would have to press play on a given smash hit in exact synchronicity with people’s many dance moves.

But I’m not giving up!

Appropriately, this week’s writing/DJing advice is to never give up! When people get down on your slightly unorthodox writing rituals, like eating a little bit of construction paper to clear your mind between paragraphs, don’t give up!

When your Top 40 smash hit isn’t perfectly synchronized with a dancer’s floor punch, don’t give up! When people shout rude things at you without thinking, don’t give up!

Ignore them! You are in this for you. You’ve got a life of love, dancing, and fresh beats ahead of you, not one of petty anger.

You’re also trying. You’re trying and they’re not. And that’s not their fault, but they’re just not recognizing that.

So their insults don’t matter very much! They aren’t in your shoes. They’ve never stood in front of crowds of dozens, and they don’t appreciate how hard it all is.

Ignore them, SFU students.

It’s fine. You’ll be fine.

And never put down your pen!

Best, Joel MacKenzie

22 HUMOUR

“Winners shouldn’t have to hide how superior they are to other people. As a fellow handsome and smart one-percenter, the idea of exhibiting humility literally feels like being locked up in prison.

“Winners are who we are and we shouldn’t have to hide it.”

Starting in Spring 2016, future president of the United States Mr. As a man of great wisdom and Trump will be sponsoring a new compassion, United States presi- affiliate with the university: the dential candidate Donald Trump SFU Platinum Key Society. has chosen to extend his generos“Sharing an elite society with ity to one of the most neglected the top two to 15 per cent is pracminority populations at SFU: stu- tically a human rights violation; dents with marks within the top being treated the same as someone per cent of their program. one in the top 15 per cent when “I’ve seen the very best aca- you’re actually in the top one per cent is the worst kind of discrimination that exists.

When you’re just better than everyone else, you deserve to flaunt your greatness. That’s what this society Donald Trump should be about.”

The Platinum demic performers force them- Key Society will not provide any selves to accommodate the needs of the services that the similarlyof others,” said Trump during a named Golden Key Society offers, press conference earlier this week. such as workshops, networking

“Winners shouldn’t have to hide how superior they are to other people.”

Earlier this week, aspiring alcoholics and people who “just know how to have a really good time” everywhere were rejoiced to learn that popular sports drink Gatorade will be the official beverage for the upcoming 2016 Hangover Games this January.

The announcement came late last Sunday afternoon, just as most of the populace were emerging from their own headache and bleary-eyed deliriums.

“This is a very special day in the history of. . . oh god, I think I’m going to puke. . . nope, we’re good,” said Bradley Sherman, a

spokesperson for the 2016 Hangover Games and the self-proclaimed “king” of Flip Cup. “My head is fucking killing me. Does anyone have some Advil or an Ambien or something? Man, those

November 23, 2015

opportunities, and scholarships for their members. Instead, the Platinum Key Society will be hosting lavish banquets, erecting status of themselves at all of SFU’s campuses, and paying for increased awareness of how amazing the one per cent is by purchasing advertising space on campus through The Peak newspaper, bus benches, and in the gymnasium.

Students are also being told to expect pro-Platinum Key messages popping up in the sky, as skywriting is a very practical form of communication amongst the wealthy.

The requirements for any individual looking to join this exclusive society are to be in the top one per cent of their program and pay a one-time fee of $10,000.

There is also an option for those outside of the academic one per cent to join this society that involves paying that same fee, but on a monthly basis. Trump justified this option, claiming that, “being rich is the same as being smart. That’s why I’m one of the smartest people on this planet.”The society is currently awaiting approval from SFU

president Andrew Petter, and will be decided upon before the winter break. However, Mr. Trump is confident that everything will go according to plan, because if

the university to going to allow an elitist special society to pander to the top 15 per cent of SFU students, what’s wrong with having another elitist special society?

tequila shots last night were a oneway ticket to Hangover City. Seriously, no one has an Advil?”

After ingesting three Tim Horton’s bacon breakfast sandwiches and sweating profusely for several

minutes, Sherman went on to say how this partnership will ensure that no fun-loving individual will ever feel like they have to face their hangover alone — because Gatorade will have their back.

“No nightstand table will remain empty; no throbbing migraine will go unkempt. This is the future we always dreamed of living in and. . . oh god, does someone have a bucket? Maybe I shouldn’t have had that last breakie sandwich.”

Following the announcement, the official Hangover Games committee wasted no time in also confirming (after months after speculation) that tiger descendent Charlie Sheen would be the first professional partier to be endorsed

by Gatorade.

“It’s really a match made in post-party heaven,” said Sheen during the press conference, who was able to FaceTime from a nearby bar. “If you’re like me, your partying can get pretty hardcore.

That means your hangover should be equally hardcore.”

Gatorade joins an alreadyillustrious list of sponsors for the 2016 Hangover Games: poutine being the official snack, and closed blinds being the preferred choice of window coverings for most partiers.

But not everyone seems to be welcoming the partnership with open arms: critics argue that the Hangover Games have become so entrenched with corporate advertising that they’ve strayed too far from the roots, which traditionally revolved around staying in bed for most of the day and contemplating whether or not to look at one’s bank account balance after the previous night.

When asked if the Gatorade partnership will have any negative repercussions on the upcoming Hangover Games, Sherman responded by asking The Peak not talk so loud and if someone could maybe dim the lights a bit.

HUMOUR

November 23, 2015

23

24 LAST WORD

I

t’s late Monday evening. Two white men, one with a beard and one without, stand a few spaces ahead of me in a Starbucks line on campus. Eyes flashing, lips curled into smirks, hushed voices speaking through stifled laughter.

“Dude, the Qur’an might, like, brainwash you into blowing up something.”

“Yeah, but explosions are cool, man!”

While the two guffawed, these were the words that graced my ears, and undoubtedly those of the other two bystanders in front of me. To the two men engaging in such thoughtful dialogue, you know who you are. Shame on you.

As most of you are aware, extremists from the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) claimed responsibility for the tragedy that befell Paris Friday, November 13, claiming the lives of over 120 innocents.

Since then, the French president has declared war upon the Islamic State, and has left the world stirring with discomfort at the prospects of further large-scale war of “Jihad vs McWorld” — especially with regards to what it could mean for their country’s future involvements.

A couple years ago, I lived with a Parisian roommate. Excessively proud of his country, I distinctly remember him boasting that France was a country of peace.

“We protest over the stupidest things because there isn’t any controversy there. You never hear any news from France because nothing bad ever happens.” And I’ll admit, at the time, he was correct; up until the Charlie Hebdo shootings this past January, student protests were the only controversy I’d ever heard emanate from the French.

Though, as with most good things, they often come to an end, and the devastation that ransacked the country left my insides writhing in disbelief as I watched the terror on the television above me, while I safely sipped my privileged beer at a pub in our presumably untouchable haven of Canada.

How could such a peaceful, civilized country — a vacation station, a distinct cultural hub, and one of the most popular student exchange destinations — be torn apart by such religious hatred? As the body count unfolded, I certainly wasn’t the only one painfully confronted with the realities of war that night — that, yes, even the most content of countries could be subject to brutality, from whomever, whenever.

Sadly, it certainly doesn’t help that CBC and other prominent media outlets now constantly barrage the public with reminders that “soft targets are a

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jihadist fantasy” and that “Paris-style ISIS attacks could hit anywhere, including Canada.” While security experts and media outlets pull off their gloves from another day of hard work, their messages have evidently helped condemn our thought-processes to generalizations, and in most cases, ridiculous accusations toward Muslim communities.

Since the eruption in Paris, I’ve been disturbed by the headlines in Canada. A young Muslim woman wearing a hijab is given dirty looks and verbal criticisms in a grocery line-up. A mosque in Peterborough, Ontario has been deliberately set on fire. In Toronto, teenage Muslim girls are being cautioned not to go Islamic night school alone. A homeowner has placed a sign on his lawn asking Canadian Muslims if they’re sorry for the “slaughter of innocent people.” A man in a Joker mask films a YouTube video while holding a gun and threatening to kill Muslims in Quebec.

The fact is that the relentless attacks from the radical Islamic world have once

again mired all Muslim communities in stereotypes that are truly unrepresentative of who they are. As the privileged among us quake in the terrified possibility that such an attack could penetrate our ‘peaceful’ home and native land, islamophobic Canadians thoughtlessly point an accusatory finger at our Muslim population at home — a piece of our diverse, harmless, proud, and patriotic cultural makeup.

To those who adamantly demand that Canada shut its borders to any immigrant Muslims, I’ll offer you three serious realities: racism, religious intolerance, and fully-bloated ignorance.

Canada’s increased anti-Muslim sentiments over the last few years have not only harmed our population, but have exposed Canada’s intolerant underpinnings. While Canadians may wear a badge of pride establishing that we’re from a country that beams inclusivity

and acceptance, by continuously framing Muslims to be outsiders in their own country (as we have with our nation’s Indigenous peoples) then pelting them with acts of hatred and even violence, we’ve seriously contradicted the facade we wear.

The ideologies behind the monstrosity that transpired in Paris are simply not representative of the Muslim faith, and, in fact, left those at home just as shocked everyone else. A Muslim bakery owner claimed on CBC the other day, “This isn’t the Qur’an. This has nothing to do with the Qur’an.” Alas, there are many ‘evil’ Muslims, and there are millions more content and harmless people of the Muslim faith — just like there can be evil or decent people from any ethnicity, religion, or class.

Such ideologies have ignited a nationwide ignorance that identifies Muslim people solely by their religion, clumps them together into an intersectional abhorrence that needlessly positions them as outsiders. As a non-religious white male, I simply cannot understand how this has come to be in this day and age.

How are people, much less Canadians, so incredibly ignorant? The front page of the Metro this morning displays large portrait of a Toronto Muslim reporter, and the headline reads: “Because I wear a hijab, I’m automatically the spokeswoman for every Muslim in the country.” I’m saddened that this is the case; that religious identification still plays the role in who the secular majority and other non-Muslim people decide is ‘evil.’

How do we right these wrongs? Religious education is the solution, as Samaah Jaffer,

November 23, 2015

my former colleague at The Peak, offered recently. She is an incredibly well-rounded, ambitious SFU World Literature and International Studies student who also happens to be a Canadian-born Muslim: “I believe the attacks that have transpired against members the Muslim community are due to a lack of understanding,” she tells me in an online message.

“The fact the ISIS acronym includes the word “Islamic” is incredibly misleading, since the group has absolutely no legitimate religious authority, and I believe education is key when it comes to decreasing prejudice. It’s up to individuals to take the time to learn about Islam, rather than relying on the extremist actions that are being covered in the media to inform their judgments.”

So, to Canadian Muslim communities, and those experiencing isolation or criticism in other parts of the world: do not apologize for the hatred that ransacked Paris on November 13. You were not involved. These terrorist actions do not reflect your religious beliefs, nor your qualities as a human being. As a fellow Canadian, I apologize for the unfounded prejudice you’ve had to endure as a result of our blatant intolerance.

And to the xenophobes I am ashamed are of my own race: perhaps you should take a moment to educate yourselves on religious diversity, and what it actually means to ‘be a terrorist.’ Perhaps you should recognize your racism for what it is, rather than blindly subscribing to profane, violent, and unfounded judgments.

We’re now living in the 21st century. Let’s actually practice what we preach and demonstrate the cultural ideals that we’ve wrongfully boasted about for ages.