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May 25, 2015

I was never given “the talk” while growing up. Not once did my parents even off-handedly bring the topic up, let alone sit me down and explain what sex and sexuality was. Looking back as an adult, the lack of sex education and openness about the subject is one of the only elements of my childhood that I wish had been drastically different.

While in school, I was given a fair share of sex education.

During elementary school, we were shown age-suitable puppets that taught us about private parts and inappropriate touching. In contrast, while in high school I was assigned a

shame-inducing project where we were given bonus marks for finding and showing the most grotesque pictures of STIs to the class.

So, I had a mix of both the good and bad in school.

Meanwhile at home, the conversation was nonexistent.

No one ever explained to me what menstruation was, or how to deal with it. No one ever introduced any form of relationship other than the monogamous, heterosexual standard.

No one ever told me that becoming sexual was okay. This all made me feel very alone and scared.

Growing up, I was forced to navigate through these confusing questions and, propelled by my curiosity, taught myself

some of the answers. It took a while to fill in the holes that were left by my patchy schooling, which left me a little ashamed and embarrassed.

Sex education should be taught more thoroughly and efficiently in schools and by parents; it needs to be a constant conversation that evolves as a child matures. In order to break the culture of shame that surrounds sex, we need to be able to have open conversations where educators are well equipped and open to answering any and all types of questions.

We can’t keep using fear tactics, denial, shame, and even lies to continue to suppress school-aged sexualities. To discount people’s experiences and feelings will only lead to the spread ing of false information, and more unwarranted shame associated with sex.

Let’s break this culture of sex-shame by being honest, open, and above all, curious.

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NEWS

May 25, 2015

news editor email

Melissa Roach associate news editor news@the-peak.ca

Samaah Jaffer

Co-presented by SFU’s Vancity Office of Community Engagement, Thursday May 14 offered “An Evening with Willie Thrasher and Linda Saddleback” at the Djavad Mowafaghian World Art Centre.

Thrasher is an Inuk musician from Aklavik, Inuvik who writes music that reflects his Aboriginal heritage and life story. The night was full of live music, archival visuals, and a vinyl DJ set of Indigenous music.

Last week’s Lunch Poems at SFU featured Chelene Knight and Dina Del Bucchia on May 20 at the Teck Gallery in SFU’s Harbour Centre campus.

Knight is an SFU alumna, who completed SFU’s The Writer’s Studio program for creative writing. Del Bucchia is co-artistic director of Real Vancouver Writers’ Series and the author of novels such as Coping with Emotions and Otters.

SFU’s campus and community radio station has recently been awarded a grant of $49,820 by the Canadian Radio Fund of Canada (CRFC) for an upcoming project titled “Making Time for Radio.”

This is the largest grant to be awarded in the station’s history.

CJSF station manager Magnus Thyvold explained that accessible grant funding opportunities for community and campus radio stations were unheard of until around seven years ago, when the CRFC was established.

CRFC will provide CJSF with 90 per cent of the funds upfront, and the remaining 10 per cent following the completion of a final report at the end of the one-year grant period.

Approximately $35,000 will go towards funding five parttime spoken word producer

positions — a significant addition for an organization run by a small staff and over 150 volunteers. For the radio-illiterate, spoken word refers to any talkoriented programing.

The remainder of the grant will go towards the production of over eight hours of radio documentaries, skill training sessions for the new hires, volunteers, and prospective contributors, and a contingency travel budget.

Thyvold explained, “The reason [the project] is targeted at spoken word or talk programing is because that kind of programing is a lot more challenging to do than, say, a music program where you’re playing music and talking about the artists. [. . .] Doing public affairs-type programming,

interview-based programing, or even documentary programing is much more involved.”

The new positions will also help with the timeliness of the news programs produced by CJSF. “There’s a lot of things you can do on the radio — particularly in terms of talk-oriented programing — that is really difficult to achieve just with volunteers,” said Thyvold. “It would be nice to make things more immediate.”

Each part time position will average to seven hours of work per week, at a wage designed to accommodate students’ busy schedules. “The idea of the project is to create a situation where people can engage in some of those more ambitious types of programming in a way that’s practical and feasible within [their] other life commitments,” said Thyvold.

“Instead of having a job at a restaurant or a shop or something like that as your part-time position that you’re doing in addition to school, there would be this position at the radio station

that could be your part-time job. You could commit that time to making radio and not [have to] squeeze it in amongst everything else you’ve got going on.”

Eight thousand dollars will be put towards funding 16 radio documentaries — time-consuming projects that the station isn’t able to produce often, due to a lack of resources. There will be four separate funding calls for documentary proposals of varying lengths.

The first two rounds, beginning in July, will select eight 15-minute documentaries, each of which will receive funding of $250. The third round will select four 30-minute documentaries to receive $500 each, and next spring four 60-minute segments will receive $1,000 each for production.

Thyvold noted that they may be looking into some additional fundraising to increase the funding for the individual documentaries.

Toward the end of the project, CJSF hopes to host a radio festival in partnership with some of the local campus and community radio stations, to showcase the 16 documentaries they produce over the next year.

NEWS

May 25, 2015

you just say, “The US is the greatest country in the world,” you don’t need to defend that in any way.

But if you say, “The US is the major source of international terrorism in the world today,” that is an argument from the other side of the moon. So you need time to explain why you say that and we’re not given time in the corporate media.

Investigative journalist and outspoken activist David Barsamian delivered a lecture on May 14 at SFU’s Harbour Centre campus, titled “Media and the Middle East.”

Barsamian has hosted a weekly radio show called Alternative Radio for the past 29 years, which has featured intellectuals like Noam Chomsky, Edward Said, and Howard Zinn, and is also the author of 25 books. The Peak sat down with Barsamian to discuss the problems of media bias, particularly around issues of foreign policy.

The Peak: Speaking in general, how do you think corporate media fails the average news consumer?

Barsamian: They fail the average news consumer in multiple ways: by distorting reality, by being a conduit, [and] an electronic

umbilical cord for state propaganda. This is particularly the case in the US where the media are cheerleaders for war and empire. [. . .] The only discussion that goes on is about tactics. Should we use this bomber in attacking Iraq or should we use that bomber? But no one unpacks the embedded idea that the US has the right to intervene anywhere in the world.

They also fail in not providing any context or background or history. [. . .] You’ll notice that particularly in the US corporate media the Islamic identity of these groups that

Despite starting the competition three hours late, a team of four SFU computing science graduate students took home the $5,000 student prize at the Canadian Open Data Experience (CODE) 2015, a 48-hour hackathon.

In the hackathon, which opened February 20, each team had 48 hours to comb through open data made available by the Government of Canada and build a functioning app using the data. Ultimately, teams were judged in “five areas of competency: user experience, use of open data, innovation, potential, and functionality.”

The teams had three categories on which to focus their app: youth

employment, business opportunities, and healthy living. The “SFU Data Crunchers” team of four, consisting of three members specializing in natural language processing — Bradley Ellert, Jasneet Sabharwal, and Maryam Siahbani — and one member in the professional master’s program in big data — Jonathan Bhaskar — decided to focus on youth.

Bhaskar had only found out about the hackathon in an email from a TA a few hours before. With the contest starting at 6 p.m. on February 20, the team thought they were starting just on time.

However, while reading the rules, they noticed that the time was in Eastern Standard Time, as the competition was based in Toronto, and had instead started three hours behind.

The team spent the first day sifting through the approximately 200,000 data sets and trying to come up with a way to put them all together. This was a decided disadvantage, as the other teams who had learned about the hackathon earlier

are opposed to the US empire is highly accented, whereas the political motivation is totally ignored.

P: I had the chance to speak to Chris Hedges earlier this year.

He was talking about how the media pigeonholes people who are critical into soundbites and they are never really given a full kind of stage or platform.

B: That’s another mechanism of control. [. . .] When you are arguing counter-hegemonic points and perspectives that aren’t in the mainstream, you need time to explain [and give historical background]. If

were able to look at the data sets before the 48-hour window.

“We [later] learned that some of the other teams had been brainstorming in the week leading up to the competition,” Ellert said.

“Our first day was spent planning.

There were times we didn’t think we’d even be able to come up with a concrete idea in time.”

However, before long they had an idea: an app that helps students find out the cost of a postsecondary education, one which

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P: You were deported from India. Tell us more about that and how you used it to further your own activism.

B: Well, I was very hurt. I’ve been going to India since 1966. [. . .]

I was prevented from entering the country even though I had a valid visa on September 23rd, 2011. [. . .]

It’s clearly because of my work on Kashmir which, for Hindu nationalists, is equivalent to what Israel represents for Zionists.

Huge human rights violations are going on in Kashmir, [committed] by the Indian state, but the Indian state has very successfully promoted a certain image of India around the world of Ashrams; people doing yoga, sitar players, vegetarian food, Ghandi, and Buddha.

P: You’ve talked about corporate media so I want to know, if I or anyone wants to be more conscious about the media they consume what things should they be critical of?

B: Be skeptical.

Go to independent sources of information. Read a lot. Always ask questions [. . .] Let’s say in Canada right now the C-51 bill is being talked about. If it passes, who will it benefit? [. . .] And why are people in power saying certain things? I think that we have to hold their feet to the fire. The onus is on them not on us. When Harper says, “[This] is in Canada’s national interest,” when another pipeline is opened, [can] it be backed up by facts or do corporations benefit from these policies?

That’s the question.

not only factors in tuition fees but also compares the cost of renting or university housing.

“After a lot of going in circles, we kept coming back to the same idea that higher education is the solution to solving high youth unemployment rates,” Ellert noted.

They found data that showed the average rent in all the cities across Canada, along with the price of university housing. As well, they used the SFU Library to find the data set for tuition fees all

across Canada, as it was not available in the data sets released by the Canadian government.

The final product was “High School Down, Where Next?” which allows the user to compare the tuition fees of universities all across Canada, right next to the average price of living near the university.

“This is a very useful tool for students. Most of the competitors that are on the market don’t allow you to look at all the data at the same time, and while doing your research it can become a big information overload,” said Sabharwal. “You don’t even have to know where you want to start searching.”

The team made the top 15 out of 125 submissions and 1,300 participants, and flew to Toronto on March 16 to pitch their app in person. The judges saw the potential in the app, and awarded the team the student prize.

For now, the app is done — Bhaskar and Sabharwal noted that the members of the team are busy with their academic work.

However, Sabharwal said that the team has some interest in continuing the project.

6 NEWS

A team of SFU researchers, working alongside coastal First Nations, has revealed that ancient clam gardens along the northwest coast were cultivated by coastal indigenous people — not naturally occurring, as previously thought.

By comparing clam growth rates in the stone terrace gardens and in other non-walled beaches, they determined that clams grow better and more densely within the altered environment than without.

Their findings show that the First Nations people along the coast — from Washington to Alaska — were not simply hunter-gatherers. They created food security by increasing clam productivity through creating ideal clam habitats.

“We think that many Indigenous peoples worldwide had some kind of sophisticated marine management, but the Pacific Northwest is likely one of the few places in the world where this can be documented,” said SFU archaeologist Dana Lepofsky in a media release.

Lepofsky has been working to accurately date these gardens by assessing the last time the deepest part of the rock was exposed to sunlight during the clam gardens’ construction. While the team can’t

May 25, 2015

provide specific dating, the clam gardens are estimated to be 1,000 years old in the least.

It was local geomorphologist John Harper who first noticed that coastline didn’t look as it should, having undergone only natural processes. While flying over the coast approximately a decade ago, he saw that there

were walled structures that didn’t fit in with the natural coastline — human-made clam gardens.

The team, working in conjunction with the Clam Garden Network and knowledge holders from the Tla’amin First Nation and Laich-kwil-tach Treaty Society, focused their research on two bays on Quadra Island.

In an experiment, the team placed baby clams in clam gardens and in non-walled beaches and then compared their growth rates, biomass, and densities over a season of growth.

Lead author of the three-year study and a graduate from SFU’s School of Resource and Environmental Management, marine ecologist Amy Groesbeck, joined the team and started her master’s thesis on clam gardens in 2010.

“We found that there were much higher densities of clams, especially culturally and economically important clams, butter clams and littleneck clams in clam gardens,” said Groesbeck. “They’re extremely innovative structures, very innovative engineered environments.”

She added that they are looking into many potential mechanisms that contribute to clam productivity, including tidal height, increased beach slope, and sediment composition.

When they dug up the sand from clam garden beaches, they found a significant amount of crushed shell. Coastal First Nations members revealed that these ground up shells were indeed added to the beaches to increase clam productivity.

The team is also looking into the possibility that the shell hash in the sediment, through releasing calcium carbonate into the water, “acts as a localized buffer against ocean acidification,” said Groesbeck.

Not only will their research have implications for ocean acidification research, but it could help in applying ancient techniques to increase food production and security.

UVic accused of racist hiring practises UBC researcher looks for a sensitivity gene

Party leaders talk sustainability at U of O

A UBC study shows that genes may be in charge of sensitivity to emotional information in humans.

UBC psychology professor and researcher Rebecca Todd believes that there is a genetic variant that influences how one perceives emotionally relevant triggers more sharply.

This gene could lead researchers to finding different approaches to treating trauma. Although the study is not inclusive of all ethnic populations and different age groups in Canada, Todd says it could provide a breakthrough in how trauma is addressed.

The Faculty of Social sciences at the University of Ottawa hosted a political discussion about environmental sustainability with the three major political parties in Canada. The debate focused on different parties’ policies when it comes to environmental issues and how they are incorporated into their platforms for the upcoming election.

Despite party platform differences, the political parties present at the debate agreed that there needs to be regulations on Canadian corporations’ carbon output.

A letter sent to the Visual Arts department chair at the University of Victoria stated concerns of the University excluding an Aboriginal candidate from being hired for an assistant professor position.

The letter, which was sent to the Department Chair Paul Walde and was signed by 27 faculty members and individuals, asserts that the hiring process was “biased against Indigenous candidates.”

The chair refused to comment on the grounds that it would breach the confidentiality of the hiring process.

With files from The Fulcrum

With files from The Martlet

With files from The Ubyssey

NEWS

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For more information contact features@the-peak.ca or visit The Peak¼s website

8 NEWS

At the SFU Senate meeting on May 19, senators discussed the university’s intent to accept the offer by Collegiate Infrastructure Solutions Inc. (CIS) to build a 50,000 square foot facility in the athletics precinct at no cost to SFU. This would be in exchange for a lease of approximately 3.5 acres of land in Discovery Park, where a school of chiropractic — entirely independent of SFU — would be constructed on the land and released back to SFU after 65 years.

Senator Daniel Leznoff raised the issue during the question period, enquiring after the status of the deal and why it hasn’t been made “common knowledge.”

While the deal is not yet set in stone, president Andrew Petter explained that — based on results from the consultation process — SFU’s board of governors agreed to issue a letter of intent during their June 26, 2014 meeting.

May 25, 2015

President Petter added that a timeline for construction should be available in four to six months, and planning and design will begin once the agreement between CIS and the BC Chiropractic Association (BCCA) is completed.

The student senators’ caucus posed a question to the Senate regarding the Maclean’s rankings revealing a decreasing satisfaction of international students at SFU in what the student senators pointed out to be a “downward trend.”

They articulated a particular concern with increasing tuition and reiterated a request to add a grandfather clause that exempts students who began their degree before the increases were announced, and therefore weren’t expecting to pay the higher fees.

Senator and VP Academic John Driver explained that it is not the responsibility of Senate

to set tuition, but he did note that 25 per cent of the increased revenue would be put towards funding bursaries and services for international students.

“With regards to these increases being a surprise, which is the language used in the question, I should let everyone know that these changes were first announced in the fall of 2012, during the budget consultation process,” said Driver.

“We made it clear this was a three year planned increase.”

Driver noted that the increases would bring SFU more in line with other BC institutions, and that guaranteeing a fixed price in Canadian dollars would not ensure that the fees wouldn’t change for international students paying in their native currency.

Senator Tracey Leacock expressed a concern with the specificity of a Senate committee recommendation regard-

ing disallowing watches in final exams.

Senator Panayiotis Pappas explained that it was only meant as a recommendation and provision of support to instructors from the academic integrity committee, should they decide to disallow watches. Furthermore, if they do so, the instructor must ensure that students have access to “live time information.”

The conversation spiralled into a discussion on the specificity of disallowing watches and the university’s ability to keep up with rapidly developing technology.

Senator Lynne Quarmby suggested, “this an arms race we’re destined to lose, and that maybe what we need to be looking at is our teaching and learning and our methods of examining more than beating the technology.”

Senator Leznoff expressed the need to participate in the “arms race” and proposed the use of tracking technology to locate devices being used to access the web during an exam.

OPINIONS

May 25, 2015

important, as it gives individuals the autonomy to choose what they want put into their bodies, or how they want to live the remainder of their lives.

While this autonomy is not absolute, as some individuals cannot provide informed consent, it should be available to those who can.

When faced with a terminal diagnosis, it may initially seem logical to provide patients with access to experimental treatments in a last ditch attempt at survival. However, while these treatments should be accessible to patients, they should not be considered ‘go-to’ treatment options by the desperate.

In Canada, we have the Special Access Programme (SAP), which makes accessible drugs that are not yet approved in Canada, including those still in experimental phases.

Many Western individuals question whether the terminally ill should have access to these treatments, feeling the program does more harm than good.

Some argue that treating individuals with experimental drugs only serves to foster false hope and continue needless suffering.

This is due to the fact that the majority of these drugs, depending on what phase of testing they go through, may either not work or decrease a patient’s quality of life. The Canadian government states on their website that “[SAP] does not constitute an assurance that a drug is safe, efficacious or of high quality.”

To have this program available to Canadians is certainly

When faced with discussion about death, many of us — including physicians — tend to shy away from these intensely emotional situations. If doctors are to provide access to experimental drugs, then this neglectful attitude much change at the first signs of terminal diagnosis, so that patients can be informed enough to make a plan that balances the physician’s expertise with the patient’s emotional and physical needs.

A Journal of the American Medical Association study from 2013 showed that 88.3 per cent of physicians would personally choose a “do-not-resuscitate” order for themselves if they were terminally ill, yet during their medical practice they would ironically choose to put their terminally ill patients under aggressive treatments to prolong their lives. The study found that most seniors would choose to die peacefully at home, but only about a third really do.

This disconnect indicates that there is a problem in the

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way physicians communicate about death with their patients: while doctors are acutely knowledgeable about the suffering associated with a long drawn-out illness, patients may not be.

Furthermore, to have a discussion about how to continue a fight may often be easier than to admit that the fight is futile, and that there are no longer any weapons left in the artillery.

If doctors are going to suggest to their patients try experimental treatments as an alternative, then doctors must be fully trained to communicate the potential risks. This is because they may be in a position without liability if a patient is harmed, and we must be certain that the sickest among us are not exploited.

As a society, we need to be more accepting and acknowledge when an individual wants to end the fight, which means having supportive access to palliative care, and open conversations about death with physicians from the onset of a potentially terminal diagnosis.

To have access to experimental drugs without this shift in attitude will only serve to perpetuate our culture’s fear of death. While some individuals may choose experimental drugs, they should understand the full implications of the path they will travel on, because even their doctor may not know the exact course it will take.

Adam Van der Zwan opinions@the-peak.ca

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The dying really have nothing to lose or gain, so as a last resort, I think to use experimental drugs warrants some definite consideration. Of course those who are ill should consult with their physician about the potential risks in trying these drugs, but if there is a possibility of benefit, especially if those ill are still relatively young, then they should be open to this option.

To fight for full life, and to be amongst family is more important than the money that could be saved if the dying did not spend it on an effort to save his or her life. Money should be spent to help people. If there is an open door permissible by a doctor, then the dying should walk through it.

Experimental drugs stand the chance of putting stress on the person who is dying, rather than letting them focus on their death that is probably not far off. Further, the money that they have may be better spent within their family, rather than paying for something that may not work, or could make their remaining years even worse.

I would urge those ill to consider what would allow them to live the last stage of their life as healthily and free as possible. They need to consider the quality of the last stretch of their life, rather than the quantity.

I’m pulling a utilitarian stance and proclaiming that one-ply toilet paper is definitely the favourable tool with which to garnish our restrooms.

Put simply, when I’m gracing the loo, I’d like to use something that gets the quick and dirty done, you know?

One-ply makes sense in a pragmatic way: it’s literally (and simply) paper that one uses for bodily purposes. It costs less to produce and to buy, it’s kinder to the environment in that it doesn’t

use up as many trees to produce, and it’s less likely to clog the toilet!

What’s not to love?

Sure, it may a bit less comfortable than it’s layered counterpart, but let’s face it, Charmin costs a mint, and my pockets are borderline starving.

Unfortunately, it can be difficult to find household one-ply toilet paper at the supermarket. Why is it that I have to visit a restaurant or a shopping centre to access the best invention since the wheel?

Oh this ironic world we live in.

That being said, my bathroom houses toilet paper that’s firm and thick. So thick, in fact, that when I tear off a sheet I feel like I’m wasting three quarters of it. And that’s probably because I am.

I don’t need the extra padding.

Will I be able to actually feel those lovely, intricate floral patterns? Is that why they print them there?

Cause I sure as heck ain’t stopping to gaze at the artwork before getting down to business.

Kudos to the toilet paper artists who’ve created masterpieces that will never again be witnessed after the flush. I feel like our creative talents could be put to something a little more noticeable.

Two-ply, three-ply, even four-ply (yes, it’s real!) waste not only my wallet, but also my neurons as I rack my brain for valid reasons why this product even exists.

10 OPINIONS

Social media has a bad habit of taking old misogynistic concepts, giving them new names, and perpetuating outdated ideas about men and women. The latest trend sparking international debate is “#Dadbod” — a term coined to describe middle-aged men who were formerly of an athletic build, but who now have a more round, less toned body type.

Though this trend may at first seem superficial, it actually says a lot more about our society’s gender expectations than we give it credit for.

I want to make my stance on body acceptance clear: people come in all sizes, and there is certainly no ‘cookie cutter’ shape that we should all stride to achieve. But this trend represents more than just a body acceptance movement for men — it’s a reminder that the society we live in holds different standards for men and women.

The real issue stems from the nature of this trend. Put simply,

dadbod is male privilege disguised as empowerment. If we consider the reverse, the idea of ‘mombod,’ I don’t think any of us can say with certainty that it would generate the same response. Middle-aged women are slammed with advertisements for diet regiments and gym memberships; they are pressured into losing baby weight and maintaining their youthful shape.

Kristin Schaal, a comedian on The Daily Show , called out this hypocrisy last week by naming off famous “Momshells” — such as Beyoncé, Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Lopez — who were celebrated for how quickly they were able to lose the baby weight, instead of embracing their new shape. Schaal points out that women can never relax about the shape of their body, that for women it is never okay to accept anything less than a perfect figure.

May 25, 2015

Celebrating dadbod highlights the hypocrisy women face during conversations about body shape. Unfortunately, we live in a society where men can celebrate their bodies whichever way they come, while women are not so privileged. As Brian Moylan, pop culture columnist for Time magazine, puts it, “the problem with the Dad Bod isn’t what it says about men, but what it says about women and how we treat them.”

I will acknowledge that men can also feel insecure about their bodies, but I do not approve of the dadbod craze all the same. If we truly want to eradicate body image problems in our society, it has to be done with more respect by allowing women a similar privilege, and it certainly has to be more inclusive. Celebrating dadbod does not qualify as an empowerment movement for men, but rather a parade of male privilege.

Body appreciation is not a subject to shy away from and merits conversation, but before you jump on the ‘dadbod’ bandwagon, stop and think about what terms like this say about gender equality and body image.

Over the last week, the high school dress code issue has catapulted back into news headlines. While this is not a new issue, it is recurring, and has yet to be acted upon within our school systems.

Lauren Wiggins, a girl in New Brunswick, was recently sent to detention for attending her high school class in a maxi dress with halter straps.

Her teachers were upset over the fact that she was disregarding their school’s dress code that — like many — has multiple restrictions on what girls can wear to their school.

Wiggins claims she was told that these guidelines are in place to make sure that boys are not distracted by the girl’s appearance, and argued they discriminate against girls and not their male peers.

Rather than to simply take the detention and dress ‘more appropriately’ in the future, Wiggins decided to bring to the principal’s attention how today’s backwards dress codes only penalize girls, and

how they perpetuate the rape culture mindset. She was suspended for a day for voicing her opinions.

If we tell our young girls that they need to watch what they wear so as to keep from distract the young boys around them, what do we teach them? We instill within their minds from a young age that it is the girl’s fault when she is a victim of voyeurism, because she ‘asks for it’ by wearing something. No blame is placed on young boys for their lack of self-control, yet we still feel that we do not need to teach them anything different.

Wiggins pointed out to her principal that boys disregard the few dress code rules in place for their attire, and go without punishment. Yet girls are the ones who are reprimanded for their choice in clothing, and given further punishment when they try to speak out.

In perpetuating this cycle, girls continue to be placed as the instigators of unwarranted glances, distraction, and in some cases, rape. We need to teach our young students that they are responsible for their own actions, not the actions of those around them. They should not be blamed for others’ poor behaviour, especially at such an influential young age.

If we instill such beliefs in their minds at this age, it will only serve to follow them through the rest of their lives — a prospect that is simply discriminatory and unacceptable.

OPINIONS

May 25, 2015

workaholic, or more importantly a family, these snapshot spaces would likely transform one’s life into an inconvenient, claustrophobic nightmare.

Throughout the last few days I’ve clicked through countless photos of stylish apartments barely the size of my bedroom. Put simply, I find them fascinating.

My interest isn’t solely because I think 200 square foot micro apartments look amazing, being designed in an incredibly utilitarian, sophisticated manner given the space. It’s also because I like to picture myself going about my day in them. Here is the inside of a living space that can be captured in its entirety with merely two or three photos. That’s how small it is.

Micro living is so chic. So different. So cool.

Picture yourself having to hang your kitchen table on the wall after you use it, or to fold your chairs into a floor-cupboard behind you. Micro dwellings are designed so that inhabitants can make as much use of the limited

space as possible. Drawers pull out from the sides of stairs; a bed is nestled on the second floor just atop the stairwell; a bathroom the size of that on an airplane is tucked away in the corner.

These tiny dwellings are so unique that the novelty has us wondering how our lives would be different while residing in them. Would we be able to adapt to this living space? How long would this last?

But before we indulge too much in the fantasies of urban affordable living, let’s take a moment to consider the realities of a cramped living space. Micro lofts are a minimalist’s and an architect’s dream.

In other words, the health risks and housing obstacles vastly outweigh the benefits.

Sure, a miniscule apartment may suit a single, 20-something year old, who spends most time out of the house, but to a sloppy

The act of reconfiguring one’s living space in order to meet the needs of daily tasks would soon become tedious and constricting.

Lack of storage would bar me from purchasing goods and household items. The noise from other micro lofts would be incredible, thus preventing me from safeguarding my full privacy. And with no real freedom to move, all too soon I imagine the walls in my tiny space would feel as though they’re tightening around me.

However, more concrete research by InformeDesign now claims that claustrophobia caused by cramped living spaces can contribute to increased domestic violence and alcohol abuse — not a fantastic finding for those young families searching for affordable

11

homes in the heart of of the city.

Further findings from Social Science Research claim that lack of freedom contributes to a withdrawn child, one that has difficulty concentrating.

Small-scale homes would additionally prevent gatherings of more than a few individuals — a loss in identity claim for the home owner. I enjoy inviting people into my living space and showing them what is important or unique to me as an individual.

Real estate agents and housing developers in Vancouver may proclaim these homes as the solution to our city’s increasing housing unaffordability, though this solution merely pertains to select individuals with active lifestyles. Yes, the mayor of New York can hail micro housing as a “milestone for new housing models,” though I’d be interested to see how he fares living in an urban closet.

I think it’s time we looked past the novelty and realized these avant garde “solutions” as what they really are — a solution to increasing numbers in a living space, but not to actually living.

2015 METRO VANCOUVER C Return Envelope 2015 Metro Vanc

ouver Transporta

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it Plebiscite

3027-­C (15/01)

MUN

Municipality Name

TRANSPORTATION AND TRANSIT PLEBISCITE

CLOSE OF VOTING 8 P.M. FRIDAY, MAY 29, 2015

Elections BC must receive your completed ballot package before the close of voting at 8 p.m. on Friday, May 29, 2015.

HOUSE AD

Voters are reminded to allow enough mailing time for their ballot package to reach Elections BC before the close of voting or drop off their ballot package at one of the nine Plebiscite Service Offices listed below.

Plebiscite Service Offices are located at:

■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Capilano Mall, North Vancouver Central City Mall, Surrey Chinatown Plaza, Vancouver City Square Shopping Centre, Vancouver Coquitlam Centre, Coquitlam Haney Place Mall, Maple Ridge Lougheed Town Centre, Burnaby Richmond Centre, Richmond Willowbrook Shopping Centre, Langley

For more information, call 1-800-661-8683 or visit elections.bc.ca.

ele c tio n s . b c .c a 1- 8 0 0 - 6 61- 8 6 8 3

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12

COMMUNITY PHOTOS May 25, 2015

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ARTS

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May 25, 2015

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13

Tomorrowland is a lighthearted apocalyptic film

Josh Cabrita Columnist

What if Judith Shakespeare wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps and become a successful playwright herself?

Miss Shakespeare is a new musical by the creators of Chelsea Hotel which explores this possibility and all the complications that it entails.

As a woman living in the 1600s, Judith (Amanda Lisman) has to hide her desire to write plays because women are banned from the stage. They are not supposed to be writers or actors, but Judith can’t help but express her creativity. She assembles a group of her friends, including her sister Susanna, and they secretly rehearse in the basement of The Cage Tavern. The tavern owner, Joe, turns a blind eye to what they’re doing because he wants Judith to marry him.

This musical is full of cheeky, seductive, empowering songs that celebrate the power of female creativity and perseverance. With sharp wit, Shakespeare’s ghost, and songs like “Keep Your Pizzle in Your Pants” and “It Was the Ass,” this was a hugely entertaining romp that had me really invested in the characters.

While Judith is determined to write her play and see it performed by her troupe of female actors, Susanna (Caroline Cave) isn’t as willing to take the risk. She has her daughter to consider and is hesitant to do anything that may endanger her ability to be there for her. The other women are not immediately convinced of the idea either. One wonders why women would want to start acting now, and another admits that she can’t read.

Despite their apprehension, the group meets once a week and Judith finishes her play. Amidst the brilliant, cabaret-inspired tunes, the show is narrated by Quiney (Susinn McFarlen), who also plays the ghost of Shakespeare (a “ghost of the living”) as he has amusing conversations with Judith and laughs at her ambition to be a playwright.

This production is wonderfully cast, with sisterly chemistry bursting forth from the stage and framed by a collection of humorous, emotional, and profound songs that tell the story of 16th century women in a way that could only be told in the theatre.

Judith asserts, “I want to create something no one would ever believe was created by a woman,” and her determination leads the group to a live performance where they disguise themselves as men. Her father had his turn, but now Miss Shakespeare wants to show that women also have a voice, and it’s worth hearing.

One thing I’ve never understood about people who love action movies is the thrill they get out of seeing skyscrapers, cities, and the world explode à la Michael Bay. Popular blockbusters like 2012 , Godzilla , Man of Steel , and Avengers: Age of Ultron have played on our fears of environmental disaster, terrorism, and artificial intelligence. Even the fantastic post-apocalyptic Mad Max: Fury Road plainly tells us to just settle for the broken, insidious world we have.

We are more than comfortable with our inevitable demise: we have fully embraced it, to the point at which we get a thrill of seeing the world destroyed. Tomorrowland, a lighthearted and subversive but rather messy ordeal, proposes that the reason we can’t avert the apocalypse is because we are constantly feeding our cynicism through popular media.

And heck, someone even made Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles depressing — what is going to happen next, the end of the world? Well, yes.

In Tomorrowland , the catastrophe that will finally end humanity is not just one single thing like global warming in The Day After Tomorrow , nuclear weapons in Captain America: Winter Soldier, or a widespread infection in The Walking Dead.

News reports reveal civil unrest in the Middle East, warming of glaciers in the arctic, and massive floods all over the world.

Tomorrowland borrows from all the previously mentioned films and mixes all the catastrophes into one megacynical apocalypse epic. We’re not just going to die off from environmental problems but also wars, terrorism, floods, and pretty much everything

else imaginable. Somehow, this might still be the brightest-eyed movie of the year.

In the film, Casey, a teenager unaware of the close proximity of the impending end of the world, is fed up with hearing how screwed humanity is.

School, which was once about discovery, teems with fearmongering. Her science teacher exuberantly preaches about the threat of climate change and in social studies she learns about the MAD doctrine.

As if everything around her didn’t seem to be collapsing already, her father, an engineer for NASA — a symbol of human progress — is going to be out of a job because the launch pad he works at is being shut down.

After trespassing and sabotaging NASA’s attempts to close the plant, Casey is put in jail, and subsequently released on bail. When collecting her belongings from the prison guard, a pin from a 1960s experiment at Disneyland is put with her belongings. Turns out it magically transports certain people to a futuristic utopia with vibrant greenery, innovative transit systems, and countless other ground-breaking technology. Is this place another dimension, a product of Casey’s imagination, or just many years in the future?

For all its flaws as a coherent and comprehensible story, Brad Bird’s odd family movie has an inspiring message and an unflinching optimism that comes through crystal clear — if we become comfortable with the end of the world, we’re not going to do anything to fix it.

What makes Tomorrowland so interesting is how it utilizes the tropes of cynical action films and puts them into a work that is not dark and gritty, but adventurous and spectacular.

Although this is an unabashedly uneven film that does not pay off the initial intrigue unravelling the mystery (everything makes as much sense at the end as it did at the beginning), Bird’s film is infused with wonder, awe, and optimism in almost every nonsensical moment. Tomorrowland would much rather inspire with grand embellishments than supply distinct answers. As one character puts it, “can’t you just go with it?”

Despite this plot convolution, though, Tomorrowland ’s theme is profoundly simple and accessible for children. This is a film about taking action and thinking outside the box that is itself inventive and subversive.

Unlike any recent action movie I’ve seen, I left this one wanting to create, not destroy.

14 ARTS

For the last decade, prolific film director George Miller has been synonymous with one blockbuster franchise. Yes, I’m talking about Happy Feet! It’s hard to believe that the same mastermind behind the original Mad Max trilogy brought us a story about an adorable tap-dancing CGI penguin. But rejoice, Max fans, for those whimsical penguins are but a distant memory in the rear-view mirror. After 30 long years, George Miller has returned to the franchise that put him on the map. The Road Warrior, Max Rockatansky, is back!

Mad Max: Fury Road is a reboot to the original trilogy

May 25, 2015

of films. The film’s story takes place a year after the events of the first Mad Max , with the tragic loss of Max’s wife and daughter. While originally conceived to be a film bridging the gap between Mad Max and Road Warrior , Millar opted to start Max’s story from scratch without re-doing the origin a second time. By doing this, the original films become a spiritual canon of sorts, which can still co-exist with this new addition to the franchise.

George Miller takes the best elements of his previous films and attempts to go bigger and better this time around. Fortunately for audiences, he succeeds where many tend to fail.

Miller strove to accomplish two goals in his latest installment: to make his post-apocalyptic story oversaturated with bright colours, and to design a distinct and beautiful world amidst a hellish landscape.

This story’s exposition is told through its richly designed and often terrifying settings. This is

a world that has descended into chaos; a world where madness is not just a state of mind, but a norm. This is due to the fact that 80 per cent of the effects, make-up, and stunts for this film were done practically without CGI. Not only is it refreshing to see, but it adds another level of awe to the frightening spectacle.

The film goes from zero to 100 from the moment Max’s foot hits the pedal. It should be noted, a 3,500 panel storyboard was conceived for this film before even one word hit the page for a screenplay. Plot, needless to say, takes second fiddle to this film’s engrossing action sequences. While this might be a turn off for some viewers, the

plot and characters are still very serviceable to the film.

Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) betrays her tyrannical despot Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne) by stealing his prized sex slaves, or “breeders,” with the goal of reaching an elusive paradise known as “the green place.” Enraged by this act of betrayal, Joe unleashes his horde of War Boys to speed off across the tarnished Australian outback to intercept her. Recently captured, Max (Tom Hardy) is brought along to the rip-roaring fray as a “blood bag” for the sickly marauder, Nux (Nicholas Hoult), a man striving to make a name for himself amongst his fellow War Boys. From there a bloody and explosive spectacle of nonstop violence ensues.

Tom Hardy’s portrayal of Max strikes the right balance of paying homage to Mel Gibson’s rendition of the character while still making

room for his own. Hardy, who has shown an amazing aptitude for bringing to life damaged characters, continues to showcase his talents.

He succeeds in portraying a man pushed to the brink of madness, held only together by his compulsion to aid those around him.

The supporting cast of the film, not overburdened with an abundance of dialogue, serve the story well too. Each character brings a dimension to the maddened landscape and continues to build the mythology of this crazed world. While the main villain, Immortan Joe, does lack dimension, this is made up for by his horrific visage and unsettling voice.

Mad Max: Fury Road is the most viscerally terrifying piece of eye candy you might see this summer. While the story may leave something to be desired, this is a film that knows exactly what it is and doesn’t pretend to be anything else. It’s a mad spectacle of blood, guts, explosions, and one of the craziest chase scenes in the history of cinema.

ARTS

There’s a moment in Timbuktu where a woman handling fish in a market with her bare hands is violently threatened by a Jihadist soldier. He demands that she wear thick leather gloves despite the blatant impracticality; it is indecent for a woman’s hands to be visible.

The point of this scene, and Timbuktu at large, is that the strict rules of Sharia law leave little room for common sense or forgiveness. In one of the film’s more interesting instances, the leader of this self-appointed militia secretly smokes a cigarette despite punishing others for doing the same.

On an allegorical level, the soldiers represent the evil of implementing such stiff

The summer heat is here in full blast, and so are SFU Woodward’s summer events. Among other things, this season promises innovation, a gospel choir, and free breakfast.

On June 5, Woodward’s will be hosting a Creative Mornings session with Dr. Paul Tinari. Part of a movement that started in New York, the event includes a free breakfast and public lecture. Tinari is currently working on setting up a 3D printing department at SFU, and he has been has been called a “Renaissance Man” and professional creative thinker. Ticket lottery registration starts on May 22. Sign up for an innovative start to your day.

On Saturday June 6, Vancouver will be hosting 100 in 1

May 25, 2015

ideology, yet they themselves demonstrate an essential flaw to their methods — we live in a fluid and fallen world where ethics created by a computer manual can lead to evil no matter what the choice. But the problem here has to do with the manual they’re using.

Almost every scene is a reiteration of this same point: an unmarried couple are stoned to death, a shepherd kills a fisherman in a fist fight which unintentionally escalates, and a woman

is given 40 lashes for singing and playing music. In this scary world there is no room for personal expression or mistakes, one must conform or be punished.

The film is structured as a slice of life that depicts this small town’s transition. Often characters will be in one scene and not appear in the rest of the film. Timbuktu is more about the small insignificant town (hence the title) and the allegorical implications than any of the individuals.

There are a handful of characters that get some screen time, but even they are not developed to where we can imagine their existence beyond the frame of the movie. Thus, each sequence plays out almost like a self-contained vignette where we already know the outcome because we’ve seen it in a previous instance. Even the main storyline — the quarrel between the cattle owner and the fisherman — is just a longer and more drawn out redundancy.

100 in 1 Day is a civic engagement event that aims to improve life in the city.

Day, an international festival for civic engagement. The event encourages participants to come together to create 100 interventions to improve life in the city.

Anyone interested can submit their interventions online by June 5 or participate in workshops on the day of the event.

On July 29, local service people will exchange their pots and pans for boxing gloves in this year’s Restaurant Rumble. The contenders — from restaurant owners to food truck chefs — will spend the summer doing both intense boxing training and fundraising. All proceeds

go towards building a new boxing ring and community centre for East Vancouver youth. Finalists will be announced July 28, with the first fight on July 29. Support a good cause and your favorite restaurant, and find out who will be this year’s Restaurant Rumble Champion.

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It also doesn’t help that better films like A Separation and The Patience Stone — both about how Islamic fundamentalism effects and affects individuals — have already tackled this subject matter with deeper pathos and profounder stories.

For me, this film was like not getting invited to an event all your friends won’t shut up about. This Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Language Film has gotten universal acclaim from critics and is currently sitting at 99 per cent on Rotten Tomatoes. Many are calling it a masterpiece. I think it is too simplistically superficial to merit such profound hyperbole.

Although Abderrahmane Sissako’s film has short instances of aesthetic poetry (one standout is where a group of kids play soccer without a ball because the game is forbidden) and a few powerful scenes, it is wildly uneven as a whole and far less than the sum of its parts.

Undoubtedly, the message is important and affecting, but the problem with Timbuktu ’s articulation is the needless repetition and disjointed storytelling which only leads to the same thing we’ve seen before: more tragedy.

Photo courtesy of cityspaces.ca

Woodwards’ Community Singers will continue to meet on Thursdays from 6:00 to 7:30 pm until July 23 “for a dose of collective joy.” Led by Vanessa Richards, the free drop-in community choir sings everything from gospel to folk to popular music, no audition necessary.

16 DIVERSIONS / ETC

Across 1- Illicit drug 8- Small crown 15- Rumor 16- Cherrylike fruit 17- Learned 18- Cricket batter 19- PC acronym 20- Put off, as an agenda item 22- Hostelry 23- ___-Tass (Russian news agency) 24- Ancient Greek colony 25- Get in on a deal 26- Prepared 27- Unanimously 28- Fab Four name 29- Toothless 31- Misplace 32- Bryce Canyon site 33- Cause of ruin 34- Vast 37- Marketable 41- Easy ___ 42- Heaps 43- ___ Abner 44- IRS IDs 45- Grannies 46- Stuffing herb 47- Sotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sound LAST WEEKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SOLUTION

May 25, 2015

otherwise indicated. For more info, contact maia@the-peak.ca THE PEAK IS HIRING! We are currently hiring for a pilot magaMATH GOT YOU SCARED? zine project called the Tartan.

NEVER TOO EARLY TO GET We need two associate editors, HELP! Contact Scott Cowan for and a designer to make this projyour Math/MACM tutoring needs. ect a reality. For more informaCompetitive rates, extensive ex- tion visit temporary-the-peak. perience and great past reviews! ca and send your resume and scottc@alumni.sfu.ca cover letter to jobs@the-peak.ca NOTICE OF BOARD MEETING The deadline to apply is May 27!

TIME The Peak Publications Soci- Are you Gay, Bi-sexual or just not ety board of directors meets once sure? Need a safe place to talk? a month to discuss the financial HOMINUM Fraser Valley is an matters of the Society. For the informal discussion and support duration of the summer semes- group to help gay, bi-sexual and ter, the Peak Publications Soci- questioning men with the chalety board of directors will meet at lenges of being married, sepa5:00 p.m. on the third Thursday of rated or single. For information each month, and will be held in the and meeting location, call Art 604Peak offices, MBC 2900, unless 462-9813 or Don 604-329-9760.

48- Home run king Hank 49- MetLife competitor 50- Jaundiced 52- Drape 54- Hard to define 55- Erode 56- Reconstruct 57- Go in again Down 1- Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s undergarment 2- Unit of magnetic intensity 3- Having a tail 4- Fire 5- Wife of Osiris 6- ___ King Cole 7- Canine of the upper jaw

8- Cabdriver 9- Floridaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ___ National Forest 10- Nerve network 11- IV sites 12- So-called 13- Hyundai model 14- Tanning place 21- Diarist Frank 24- Son of Abraham 25- Puzzled 27- Top story 28- Trig functions 30- Deadens 31- Men 33- One on a tightwire 34- Money handler 35- Small bone 36- Sacred place 37- ___-Japanese War 38- Brazenly obvious

39- Soft coal 40- Bessâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s predecessor 42- Package 45- Ingenuous 46- Take hold 48- Like Death Valley 49- Comedian Johnson 51- That, in Tijuana 53- Persian Gulf fed.

EVENTS AT SFU: MAY 25 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; JUNE 5 25: MONDAY

26: TUESDAY

TURN OF THE CENTURY TRIVIA

CLUBS DAYS â&#x20AC;&#x201D; SURREY

Hey Millennials! Wanna have some fun? The Peak is holding another round of trivia and ZH¡UH IRFXVLQJ RQ \RX 5HYLVLW your favourite cultural phnomena from â&#x20AC;&#x153;Baby One More Timeâ&#x20AC;?

Britney to bald baby mama Britney, from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush. Come for the fun, stay for the prizes.

7:00 p.m., The Rio, The Highland Pub

Clubs Days are back! Get social and join one of the many student clubs for some extracurULFXODU VXPPHU IXQ ,W¡V D JUHDW ZD\ WR PHHW SHRSOH DQG Ă&#x20AC;OO \RXU pockets with free swag. Stop by 7KH 3HDN¡V WDEOH DQG VD\ KL 10:00 a.m. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 3:00 p.m., Surrey campus

1: MONDAY

2: TUESDAY

27: WEDNESDAY

28: THURSDAY

SHAPING VANCOUVER | WHAT IS NEIGHBOURHOOD CHARACTER?

VANCOUVER AQUARIUM AFTER HOURS

In this panel, speakers explore the hot topic of neighbourhood character in Vancouver.

A general discussion with the audience follows at the end, everyone will be invited to submit IHHGEDFN RQ WKH HYHQLQJ¡V WRSLF to the consultants leading the Heritage Action Plan. Tickets: free!

7:00 p.m. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 9:00 p.m., 149 West Hastings St.

This is your chance to explore the aquarium, free from throngs of screaming children. Bonus: WKHUH¡V ERR]H DYDLODEOH 7KH evening includes sea monsterthemed programming, such as VKDUN VKRZV DQG WKH ´/HW¡V *HW Krakenâ&#x20AC;? game show. Tickets: $18â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$25.

6:00 p.m. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 10:00 p.m., The Vancouver Aquarium, 845 Avison Way

3: WEDNESDAY

4: THURSDAY

29: FRIDAY TEDx GASTOWN WOMEN 7KH Ă&#x20AC;UVW 7('[:RPHQ HYHQW WR take place in Vancouver. This event will feature a curated lineup of diverse speakers spanning industry, origin, age, and experience. There will also be a selection of simulcast segments of the TEDWomen event taking place in California.

3:00 p.m. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 8:30 p.m., Segal Graduate School of Business, 500 Granville St.

Wednesdays @ 1:00 p.m., The 3HDN RIĂ&#x20AC;FHV 0%&

5: FRIDAY

ON THIS DAY IN 1967

PUB TRIVIA

WING WEDNESDAY

MUSIC WASTE 2015

STEVEN SPIELBERGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DUEL

The Beatles released their eighth studio album, Sgt. PepSHU¡V /RQHO\ +HDUWV &OXE %DQG. It was an immediate commercial and critical success, spending 27 weeks at the top of the album chart in the UK. In honour of this momentous event, go home and give it a listen. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lucy in the Sky with Diamondsâ&#x20AC;? and ´:KHQ ,¡P 6L[W\ )RXUÂľ DUH VRPH pretty sweet tunes.

No summer classes on Wednesday mornings this semester? Why not check out the biggest pub quiz night in Vancouver. Join Nice Guys Trivia Inc. for questions, beer, prizes, and good cheer.

S P 7KH /DPSOLJKWHU Water St.

Get out of the kitchen and go stuff yourself with chicken wings. There are loads of places with wings on special every Wednesday. If a deal on the SULFH LVQ¡W HQRXJK IRU \RX KHDG to The Pint and sample some RI WKH à DYRXUV WKH\ KDYH available. Or, if you choose to stay on campus, the Highland Pub will serve you cheap wings ³ MXVW GRQ¡W RUGHU WKHP EHIRUH 5:00 p.m.

7KLV LV WKH Ă&#x20AC;UVW QLJKW RI WKH annual music, art, and comedy festival. It began in 1994 as a protest against the entry fees of the corporate-sponsored New 0XVLF :HVW IHVWLYDO 1RZ LW¡V DQ LQWHJUDO SDUW RI 9DQFRXYHU¡V music scene. June 4 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 7. More info at musicwaste.ca 7:30 p.m., Various locations

Originally released as a TV PRYLH 6SLHOEHUJ¡V WKULOOHU '8(/ was his second feature-length Ă&#x20AC;OP DQG ZDV DGDSWHG IURP D short story by writer Richard Matheson that originally appeared in Playboy magazine.

Dennis Weaver stars as a WHUULĂ&#x20AC;HG PRWRULVW VWDONHG RQ D remote and lonely road by the unseen driver of a tanker truck.

6:00 p.m., The Rio Theatre, 1660 East Broadway

EVENT LISTINGS ARE FREE FOR SFU STUDENTS AND STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS. SEND THE DATE, TIME, LOCATION, NAME, AND A 15 WORD DESCRIPTION TO CLASSIFIEDS@THE-PEAK.CA

HUMOUR

With diehard fans and casual moviegoers still marveling over The Avengers: Age of Ultron, critics are targeting the film in another capacity: the film’s merchandise, specifically children’s toys.

As originally reported by the blog io9, an action figure based on a pivotal scene involving Black Widow (played by Scarlett Johansson) replaced the action heroine with a male superhero Captain America (Chris Evans). The scene in question originally had Black Widow dropping from the Avengers’ Quinjet on a motorcycle, speeding off to aid, get this, Captain America. Yep; with the replacement, Captain America saves Captain America.

The switch has left many fans calling for a change in how female superheroes are marketed — a sore spot for Marvel, who have a history of filling their movies with predominantly male casts. But Marvel has good news for the critics: earlier this week, the studio announced plans to release more superhero merchandise aimed towards its female fans.

“After seeing our next wave of Avengers toys,” a spokesperson for Marvel said at a New York press conference, “you’ll see we value our female superheroes just as much as their male counterparts.”

The press conference also provided a sneak peek of some new toys expected to hit shelves next

humour editor email

May 25, 2015

month, including a Black Widow Barbie doll, and several male teammates given the “Ken” treatment: to be released are Ken doll versions of Hawkeye, Captain America, Hulk, and Nick Fury. However, only the Black Widow doll will include a miniature comb for brushing her hair and will include a pre-recorded giggle response.

In the area of action figures, Marvel is also releasing a playset of Avengers Tower, featuring Black Widow being held captive

by Hydra soldiers, and The Hulk present to save her. As well, Marvel announced that a series of colouring and sticker books would expand upon the romance between the crimson-haired assassin and the jaded green giant first introduced in Age of Ultron.

But Black Widow isn’t the only female Avenger getting the full Marvel treatment! A new fashion line (including clothings, make-up, and jewelry) for young adults will launch later this year, with items inspired by new Avenger Scarlet Witch.

When asked if fans could expect a separate clothing line inspired by SHIELD agent Maria Hill (played in the films by Canadian actress Cobie Smulders), the Marvel spokesperson was surprisingly coy, but said the possibility was “certainly on the table.

“We love taking money from our female fanbase just as much as we love taking money from our male fanbase,” Marvel said near the conclusion of the press conference.

“We hope this new wave of Avengers merchandise demonstrates how committed we are to gender equality, both on- and off-screen.”

Competitor DC Entertainment, seemingly always two steps behind their rival, are also jumping at the chance to release their own line of female-centric merchandise, announcing a slate of female superhero dolls to coincide with next year’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. In particular, DC is planning to add interconnectivity between the male and female superhero dolls, where whenever one of each is close together, the male doll begins to explain to the female doll exactly how they’re supposed to be saving the world.

Jacey Gibb humour@the-peak.ca

With a May 29 deadline fast approaching for the regional transit referendum, TransLink has again reached out to people who use their services, vowing to change for the better and treat riders with the respect they deserve.

The promise of self-improvement and a better tomorrow were part of several announcements made last Friday between 1 and 3 a.m. on Metro Vancouver’s voicemail.

“Listen, listen,” TransLink slurred at the start of the first message, left at 1:05 a.m., “I know things have been a little [hiccup] rocky between us but we’re so [hiccup] good together. I think I deserve another [hiccup] shot at this.”

Citing a renewed interest in public approval and a few too many Smirnoff Ices at the bar, TransLink vowed to win the public back — even if it means leaving a hundred voicemails, each more pleading than the last.

“I know you’re [hiccup] listening to this,” another message left at 2:17 a.m. declared. “Pick up the phone. What, you think you’re too good for me? Huh? Is that [hiccup] it?!

17

“I just miss you so much,” said the final voicemail, left at 2:52, followed by weeping sounds.

The Peak has also learned that most of the other messages were full of indecipherable onesided dialogue, with one source claiming that TransLink went as far as to drunkenly serenade Metro Vancouver’s voicemail with a slurred rendition of Player’s 1977 soft-rock classic “Baby Come Back.” The performance, according to the source, was “lukewarm at best.”

For the past two months, residents of Metro Vancouver have been submitting ballots on whether or not they’re in favour of a new Congestion Improvement Tax of 0.5 per cent; funds collected from the tax will be used for the Mayors’ Transportation and Transit Plan, which includes increasing bus frequency, building rapid transit to cities such as Langley, and constructing a new Pattullo Bridge.

At this time, it’s unclear if the series of voicemails left was effective in changing Greater Vancouver’s mind — which was slanted towards the “no” side before voting commenced — but the incessant pleading just might be enough for Metro Vancouver to consider giving TransLink another shot at this.

“Just because I’m not in love with TransLink doesn’t mean I don’t love TransLink at all anymore,” Metro Vancouver said back in February, leading up to the mail-in referendum. “We’ve been together for almost 20 years now; we have a lot of history. But with that said, I think it might be time to try something new. As they say, there are plenty of regional transportation networks in the sea.”

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May 25, 2015

HUMOUR

May 25, 2015

19

20 LAST WORD

Are there any recurring themes in your comedy? Cringe-worthiness seems to play a prominent role in Teen Angst and Say Wha?!

editor-in-chief email

Max Hill eic@the-peak.ca

May 25, 2015